#cause I wouldn’t even know if I drew something wrong cause I can’t bear to look at photo ref

[kabukiaku]

for that one anonymous who was asking about ghoul…anatomy I’m sorry I can’t for the life of me give you an actual answer cause I don’t actually look up ref cause I literally can’t bring myself to see a real life 🍆. 😔

[bunnybird-afk]

Merlinverse Musical March: Day 4

Constellations by The Oh Hellos: Sena seeing time on a larger scale than mortals, watching, contemplating and reflecting on all the little good deeds he's done and seen and how they've affected the present day. And him wondering how his actions in the present day will shape the future.

I can feel it on my tongue; brick and mortar Thick as scripture, drawing lines in the sand and laying borders As tall as towers I babble on until my voice is gone

(Sena trying to reason and plead with the other gods of Esperia, trying to get them to see what their own conflicts are doing to the people of Esperia and going unheard even when he ‘babbles on until his voice is gone’. Then watching as the people of Esperia grew divided after the Immortal War, separating into factions and splitting the land into their respective territories, while feeling the weight of responsibility settle on his shoulders.)

This hill I'll die on is about 90 meters of bricks Coloured indigo, and inscribed with my name, and lined with cedar But the words fall flat like Cymbals crashing, like molars gnashing

(Sena knowing that as The People’s God, the hill he’s willing to die on is the well-being of Esperia’s people, but that his titles, as gilded and glorified as they are, mean nothing in the grander scheme of things/ Sena no longer feels connected to his old Divine name and feels like the power it once held has faded away since it’s no longer him.)

'Cause like constellations a million years away Every good intention, every good intention Is interpolation, a line we drew in the array

(Mortals do good deeds hoping it will make a positive change in the future, knowing they may not live to see the impact their actions have. But Sena will. This verse is Sena being able to reflect on his long history and see all the individual threads, tiny acts of kindness and seemingly inconsequential decisions that wove together to shape the reality he sees in front of him now. Getting to see the effects of his own choices play out in real-time, knowing the decisions he makes in the present will also have lingering effects that even he can’t always predict.)

Looking for the faces, looking for the shapes in the silence

(Sometimes Sena finds himself looking for familiar faces in a crowd, long after the people they belonged to have passed on. Other times he meets someone new and knows they’re going to do great things someday and imagines how they’ll fit into the grand tapestry of destiny.)

All that's left for me to climb to the heavens is The chasm of the night and a matter of time

(Sena could be a god again. He could be THE God of Esperia if he wanted, could reclaim his true divinity and the power of the dead gods and rule as the sovereign deity of Esperia…)

But I hear the rumble as the tectonic plates start to shake And I feel my blood pounding like the beat of a drum

(But he won’t because that would mean growing detached from Esperia and its people. Sena would rather be ‘weak’ and compassionate than omnipotent and indifferent. He refuses to make the same mistakes as the old gods, refuses to rule from some gilded city looking down passively at his mortal charges. He loves Esperia, loves its people. It’s something he feels in the very depths of his soul, something that is an inextricable part of who he is. And he wouldn’t trade that for any amount of power or influence that true godhood could grant him.)

Like constellations imploding in the night Everything is turning, everything is turning And the shapes that you drew may change beneath a different light Everything you thought you knew will fall apart, but you'll be all right

(Time will keep moving forward, things will continue to change and Sena will bear witness to it all, the good and bad, the joyful and the heartbreaking. Actions he took in the past believing they were right may seem like the wrong decision later on, things he thought he knew may have been incorrect all along, but he knows it will be all right in the end because he’ll always be there to fix things. Not just his own mistakes, but those of the old gods, and his beloved mortals too…)

[darkhazard19]

For the ask the oc

Hello, Leta and Ria! Hope you two are doing great there 💖💖💖

Here's my question for the both of you, what are your thoughts on meeting Val and the others for the first time?

@shinmiyovvi AFTER WHAT FEELS LIKE YEARS IVE FINALLY ANSWERED THIS I’m so sorry it took this long Shin 😭😭 Hope you like it nonetheless 🥺💖💖💖 tried to add the southern flare for Zari!

“Ah, hey there Shin! It’s been awhile since we’ve last seen you.” Leta smiles softly, “I’m doing great by the way. Ria, come say hi!”

Ria waves a hand while she lights a cigarette with the other. “Mmh, yea, hi. We’re both peachy. Let’s hurry up and answer the question.”

Leta sighs with a roll of her eyes, “Don’t worry about her, that's just how she is. So, our thoughts when we first met Val and the others? Well, to be honest when I first saw Lena I was happy to know I wouldn't be the only woman in the crew. God knows what I’d do if I had to deal with all these boys and that testosterone on my own. But…..I also noticed something about her, like…..she lost someone or something dear to her. It made me feel sad cause I know what that pain feels like.”

Ria nods her head in agreement, “Licia reminded me of myself, a woman wronged by the world and protecting herself behind a guise of anger and coldness. It also felt nice to have somebody to possibly relate to.”

“Meeting Ji Eun was interesting I suppose. I could instantly tell upon seeing her that she wasn't one for bullshit and I respected that. But somethin’ told me we wouldn’t exactly be super close and boy was my instinct right. Not that we hate each other but don't you reckon you’d hate it if somebody was puttin down the effort you have for your work. I know she’s testing me but gee does it irk me. Sorry for rambling but I respect Ji Eun and I’m glad to be in her company. Bout you, Ria?”

Ria was unusually quiet as she took another huff of her cigarette, “......I felt heartbroken meeting Ji Eun for the first time…..It was clear as day what she had gone through ...what haunted her. It made me feel…..angry not at her but for her. Made me wanna protect her, poor gal doesn’t deserve any more pain or heartache.”

Leta looked at Ria in slight surprise but shifted into understanding, she decided not to dwell on it and went to move on.

“Hmm okay well, let's see we can talk bout Arthur next. One look at him and hearing him talk told me I’d constantly be having headaches around him. But I also knew I’d share some pretty good laughs.” Leta smiles softly, chuckling. “Nowadays he likes to tease and get on my nerves but it’s nothing a little sarcasm and wit can’t fix.”

“.....He’s like the father I wished I was blessed with. At first I was wary, and didn't really think much of him. Suppose it was the kindness he had and the fact that he actually seemed to care and listened to what I had to say that drew me in. Honestly, I think my heart knew that we’d be able to form a connection but my mind just wasn't ready for it at first.”

“Suppose we can't trade one for the other?”

“Hold your horses there, girlie!”

“Worth a shot wadnit (Wasn’t it)?”

Ria snorts, “Anyways, lastly there's Dragomir. Don't judge a book by its cover would be an understatement here, thought he was gonna be that type of man who likes to act all big and strong or even the silent and brooding type but boy was my gut instinct so off. Not that I’m complaining, it’s actually kinda heartwarming to see how sweet and kind Drago can be and don’t tell him I said this but he’s almost like a big teddy bear with how sweet he is. It’s also nice that he’s a great listener.”

“......It was hard to talk to him at first….sometimes it was hard to even look at him….Miro reminded me of my brother so much. It was nice to have someone like Red around but it was like a reminder that I would never get to see my brother again. Sometimes I like to think that Red sent Miro to me, lemme know that it’s okay, that he’d never be mad at me for moving on. Similar to Lena who I see as a sister, Miro quickly became like a brother to me and sometimes I feel guilty but then I remember Red always wanted me to be happy and I tell myself that he’d be happy to see I was able to form such a great bond with the others.”

Ria puts an arm around Leta’s shoulders and pulls her in for a side hug for comfort. “Hope that answers your question, kiddo. And have a nice day/night alright?”

[just-jordie-things]

A Lover And A Fighter - Richie Tozier

word count: 3122 warnings: swearing, sight sexual harassment summary: Richie promised (y/n) that he wouldn’t get into fights anymore, but sometimes he just can’t help himself.  Especially when it comes to protecting her.

___

It was an understatement to say that Richie was protective of you.  The boy was downright insane about it.  Everyone in Derry knew not to fuck with (y/n), not unless they wanted Richie Tozier tracking them down and beating them half to death.

You’d given him a talk numerous times.  But not once did they work, it always went in one ear and out the other..

He’d beaten up three ex boyfriends, a couple guys that looked at you the wrong way, and Greta Keene.  He was proud of that amount.

But he’d promised that he would try his best not to act out on your behalf anymore.  And you made him pinky promise.  That’s a big deal.  And he didn’t want to break your trust or your promise.

However… once he walked past Henry Bowers and his dumbass friends, and heard your name being mentioned, he couldn’t stop himself from getting involved.

“What was that?” He spoke before he could think things through.

The boys turned to him, each bearing a scowl that wasn’t out of character.

“I said, (y/n’s) not fucking worth it,” Henry practically growled out.  “Now why don’t you fuck off, Tozier?”

“Your damn fucking right it’s not worth it,” Richie spat back, turning away, doing the right thing.  “I’d break your goddamn nose” He muttered under his breath.

“It’s not worth it to try and get in her pants,” Henry called out before Richie could walk far enough away.

He stopped in his tracks.

“Cause she’s such a slut anyways, it’s not a real victory to fuck-”

Richie had never whipped around so fast.  And with the punch he delivered went all common sense, and all the promises and reassurances he’d given you to prove he was going to ‘mature’ as you’d begged him to do. ___

“Hey, Richie,” You held your phone between your ear and shoulder as you painted your toes.  “This is like, my fifth message… so… call me back, I guess.  Okay, bye”

You sighed as you set the phone back on it’s holster.  Richie wasn’t the type of guy to stand you up, especially on taco tuesday.  And even if something came up, he always always, called.  But now he couldn’t even bother to return one of your calls, leaving you to assume that he was upset with you for some reason, and therefore ignoring you.

You weren’t sure what you did, and at this point, you also weren’t sure that he was going to tell you either.

When Richie didn’t want to talk to someone, he was the damn best at avoiding them.

But he’d never given you the cold shoulder.  And there was a time that you’d thought he never would.  Richie was your best friend, you trusted and confided in him more than anyone else, even the other Losers.  And in the last seven years of being his best friend, he’d never treated you this way.  In fact, he always treated you amazingly, like a princess, it was very surprising actually, the way he cared about you.

It was that care that always led him to picking fights where he shouldn’t be, though.  It started with your ex boyfriend.  He broke up with you once a ‘better, prettier’ girl showed interest (his words), and the next thing you knew, Richie was throwing him against the lockers.

When your next boyfriend straight up cheated on you, Richie took care of him too.

He broke the third one’s nose.

And then there was the Greta Keene incident… Beverly may have let it slip that Greta had been writing nasty rumors about you in the girls bathrooms.  And Richie declared that he didn’t have a problem beating up a girl if it was justified (and if that girl had man arms).  That was when you drew the line, and made Richie swear to try and control his anger.  And he pinkie promised to work on it, and that he wouldn’t get into any more fights over you.

You weren’t sure why he got so enraged over these things.  It was just drama, and you found it pointless that he tried to bring you justice, since he was so reckless about it.

It was getting late, and you knew that Richie wasn’t going to return your calls.  So you finished painting your toenails blue, and decided to spend the night in your room, reading, alone.

Even though you should have been eating a bunch of tacos and gossiping with Richie.

Just as you got situated in bed, and had turned off the overhead light in exchange for the soft glow of your lamp on the bedside table, there was a knock on the window.

When you glanced over, you could tell it was Richie by his silhouette, and you frowned slightly.

Nonetheless, you got up and unlocked the window, before sliding it open.

“Where the hell have you been?” You asked.

He could tell that you couldn’t see his face very well.

“Busy, you gonna let me in?” He grinned.

“Richie, it’s-” You glanced over your shoulder to the alarm clock on your table, before glaring back at him.  “-midnight.  Are you kidding me? Did I do something to piss you off?”

“What? (y/n/n), no-”

“Then how come you were dodging all my calls? And you’re seven hours late?” You asked, crossing your arms over your chest..

Richie crawled in through the window, even though you hadn’t invited him in yet.  But he figured it was only a matter of time before you cave anyways.

Your distressed face disappeared as you caught sight of him now that he was in the light.  His left eye was bruising, and so was his right cheekbone.  Along with a split lip and a bloody nose, it was clear what had happened.

“Oh, Richie…” You mumbled, hand reaching up to cover your mouth as your eyes widened at the sight of him.  “Tell me you didn’t-”

“Look it’s not what you think-” Richie tried to protest.

“Don’t give me that shit”

He knew he fucked up, because you weren’t yelling.  Your voice was soft, and low.  You were heartbroken.

He stared down at the ground, too anxious to look at you anymore.  Not when you looked so disappointed in him.  

“You promised- you-you pinky promised me-”

“I know-! I know and I’m sorry, really, I’m really fucking sorry” He told you, desperately hoping that you’d forgive him.

You shook your head at him, and gestured for him to sit before you left the room.  Richie was the most frustratingly complicated person that you knew, and it drove you insane.  Why he couldn’t just walk away and not beat the shit out of people… you weren’t sure.  But it really hurt you that he didn’t even seem to try, and he broke his promise.

Richie was sitting on the side of your bed when you came back into the room.  He chuckled as he eyed the first aid kit in your hands, the same one that you’ve used the last four or five times you dealt with the aftermath of his episodes of rages.

“You don’t have t-”

“Yes I do” You cut him off and unpacked what you’d need.

You were upset, you were fuming, actually.  It angered you that Richie broke his promise, not even a month after making it.  That promise was important to you, because he was important to you.  And now here he was, waiting to be fixed up by you once again after he so stupidly, so recklessly got himself beaten to a pulp.

But no matter how angry you were, you remained silent.  Dabbing at the excess blood under his nose, which at least wasn’t bleeding anymore.  And when you were finished with his cheek, you moved on to rubbing cream over the bruise on his cheek.  Richie’s eyes fell shut as he sighed in relief at the feeling of the cool lotion, and your gentle fingers.

He knew your silence wasn’t a good thing.  In fact, it was the worst thing.  It meant he messed up beyond redemption.  And he’d never fucked up that bad before.  Sure, he’d pissed you off and frustrated you on the daily, but that was just the hallmark of his friendship, and it was never anything serious.  Just when he dragged you out in the middle of the night for slushies, or got you in trouble in class because he was running his mouth.  He’d never made you this genuinely upset before.

“(y/n)-”

“Save it” You muttered before he could even start with the apologies.

That was another hallmark of his friendship.  You knew what came next.  The apologies, the excuses, the begging for your forgiveness, followed by a playful ‘you know you love me, you need me’ and puppy dog eyes that you couldn’t refuse.  Except tonight, you might just be able to.

He took you by surprise when he didn’t protest, and snapped his mouth shut.  Your eyes met his for a moment, before you started applying a smaller amount of lotion on the bruise surrounding his eye.  It was going to look a lot worse in the morning, but this would help with the pain now.

You hated that your heart ached for him right now.  You hated that you wanted to cry and hold him and make him feel better.  Because you were so fucking mad-

“I don’t understand,” The words suddenly spilled out of your mouth, as if your mind just couldn’t take them swimming around in your head anymore.  “I just- I- I don’t fucking get it”

He nodded, ducking his head down, only for you to lift it back up by his chin and continue with the lotion.

“I care about you, dumbass, and all I asked, which I thought was simple, all I asked was for you to stop with the fighting-”

“I know” He mumbled back.

You stared at him skeptically, wondering if he really did know, or if he’d show up again in a few weeks with the same battered face and guilty look in his eyes.  Richie didn’t look back at you.  He couldn’t.

“Who?” You asked, trying to soften your voice so he wouldn’t whither away from you like he was doing right now.

“You’re not gonna like it” Richie answered, fingers pinching at your bedsheets in an attempt to distract himself.  From the pain that burned across his whole face, or from the intensity in your eyes, he wasn’t sure, but he needed the distraction.

He hadn’t had a smoke in months, but it sounded pretty damn good right now.

“Well, newsflash, I don’t like any of this,” You told him.  “But I think I deserve to at least know what happened”

Of course you do, Richie hung his head in his hands.  You deserve so, so much better.

You watched as he rubbed his palms over his eyes, and it took everything in your power not to take his hands and hold them in yours, to tell him it was okay and you forgave him.

“Bowers”

He muttered the single word without even looking at you.  But he didn’t have to look at you to know exactly what you looked like in that moment.  You probably had a dropped jaw and furrowed brows.  Disappointment, disgust, anger, all displayed in one heartbreaking look.

“Richie…” You murmured without meaning to.  “Why? Why would you-”

“I had to, okay?” He shot up suddenly.  “I know that you hate it, and as soon as I swung I- I knew I fucked up, but I had to”

You wanted to argue it, argue that there’s always another option, that he can always walk away.  But you bit your tongue.  Something about the way he spoke told you that there was more to this than his stupidity.

“I’m sorry, (y/n/n), I am.  But I… I don’t regret it”

Your heart sunk all the way down to your stomach.  Richie had such a toll on your emotions and he didn’t even know it.

“Tell me what happened” You said quietly, and shifted closer to him.

You wanted him to know he had your undivided attention, and that he should have the chance to at least explain what happened.  You pulled your leg up to rest on the mattress, and turned your body to face him.

Richie looked at you before looking back down at his hand, which was now fisted in your blankets.

“Richie,” You hummed, brows furrowing as you saw how reluctant he was to opening up.  “Tell me” The words were so soft, it was almost inaudible.

You wondered what Henry could have done that Richie didn’t want to tell you about.  He must have really outdone himself.

“He was just talking shit-”

“Richie,” You cut off his bullshit before he could even start.  “Come on, the truth”  

“It’s not-”

“I deserve to know, Tozier! Whatever it is, I don’t care, okay? Just tell me-”

“He said you weren’t worth sleeping with!”

Just like that, you’d gotten him to snap.

And you shut up instantly, shocked by the outburst.  His words processed slowly in your head.

“He said it wasn’t worth trying because you’re- because you’re a slut, and it wasn’t fucking true!” Richie continued to yell.  Not at you, he just couldn’t contain his own anger anymore.

And you thought you were pissed.

“Motherfucker had your name in his nasty fucking mouth and he was telling his buddies fucking lies and I couldn’t- fuck I couldn’t walk away.  I should’ve fucking killed him”

You were staring at him, speechless.  You should’ve known it was about you, Richie was always so fiercely protective of you.  And Henry’s wouldn’t be the first nose that he’d broken protecting you.  But this wasn’t like before.  He’d beaten on your ex boyfriends after they broke your heart.  Henry hadn’t said or done anything to you, he was just doing what boys do.  (Make shit up because they think it makes them impressive when really they’re even shittier than they look)

“I didn’t mean to break your promise,” Richie huffed.  His face was slightly flushed after his mini tantrum.  His hands grabbed both of yours, holding them close to him.  “I’m so sorry I put you through this again”

You were still silent, but he knew this wasn’t a bad silence.  You were still processing, still trying to figure out how to forgive him while making sure this was the last time he crawls through your window looking like this.

“I hope you know that it came from a place of- of caring about you,” He added.  “Caring about you too much, I guess” He mumbled as an afterthought.

Your stupid lovesick heart skipped a beat at the sweet words.  Richie wasn’t one for words, at all, but he somehow managed to say the most loving things without even realizing it.

“I can’t promise it won’t happen again, that much is clear.  And if Bowers says one more goddamn thing about your ass I’ll fucking string him up- I will- but I can promise I’ll try, okay? I will, I’ll really try”

He squeezed your hands a little bit, hoping you believed him, hoping you trusted him.

Your eyes flickered between his for a moment, and you could see in them that he was being sincere, and that he was broken up over hurting you.

“You…” He started to speak, but trailed off unsurely.  “You deserve better” He finished.

His eyes flickered to yours for a brief moment, before he turned away.

You shake your head, before you let go of one of his hands, and took his chin between your thumb and index finger, turning him to look back at you.

“(y/n/n)-”

You cut him off when you leaned in and gently kissed him, trying to be mindful of his split lip.

Richie’s eyes remained focused on your closed ones, too stunned to close them, or really kiss her back.

He wanted to kick himself when you pulled away.  He managed to miss his fucking chance because he was too slow to do anything about it.

Your eyes fluttered open in such a beautiful way Richie swore you were holding his heart in your perfect little hands.

His brows were furrowed like you’d confused him, and you absolutely had.  He hadn’t expected you to kiss him.

“Why’d you do that?” He asked breathlessly, and your cheeks burned pink.

Your shoulders raised a bit in a shrug, and you had to bite your lip to keep from smiling too much.

“I just… wanted to” You whispered.

A smile twitched on the corner of Richie’s lips before his hand cupped your cheek, and he pulled you in again, so he could kiss you right this time.

Your lips were just as soft, if not softer, than he’d imagined they’d be.  And he’d imagined countless times what they’d feel like.  Daydreaming in class, before he fell asleep, and being right by your side for the last seven years.

Kissing you was bliss.

He did it again, taking your face in both of his hands and pulling you impossibly closer.  He could feel your lips smiling against his own, and once again, his heart was beating out of his chest trying to get to yours.

“I’m in love with you, (y/n/n)” He murmured when you parted, and you laughed softly.

“That makes sense,” You replied, reaching a hand up to play with the curls on the back of his neck.  “And… I love you too”

Richie gave you a sunshine smile, which you couldn’t help but return.

“I’m still upset, by the way,” You told him, still playing with the curls.  “But only cause I’m tired of seeing you covered in bruises, okay?”

He nodded, and you leaned your cheek further against the palm of his hand.

“I promise to try” He said, and then raised his pinky.

You looked from his hand and then back to him, a slight glare in your eyes.

“Come on, just do it,” He urged, you rolled your eyes, but he was persistent.  “Just link fuckin’ pinkies with me”

With a giggle you hooked your pinky with his, and held it for a moment.

“You want to go get tacos now?” He asked, and you grinned, nodding your head.

“You read my mind” You answered, and followed him back out the window.

It dawned on you that Richie was both your lover and your fighter.  And he held those titles proudly.

As he took your hand and walked alongside you down the street, he decided there were no other title he’d want to be labeled, besides yours. ___

taglist: @thegr8kush​

xoxo ~ jordie

[sukirichi]

earned it [04]

Gojo Satoru is a firm believer that if you work hard for it then you shall earn it. But on the other side, he’s not unfamiliar with his own sins. He also believes that there is punishment due for his sins as he’s earned it.

cw. DARK CONTENT, graphic violence, mentions of blood, explicit murder, sexual violence, angst, tw dubcon, mentions of mass murder, death threats, cheating, implications of suicide, typical mafia business + very unedited (please PLEASE read at your own discretion! if you do not wish to proceed to read because of the aforementioned warnings but want to know what happened anyway, please drop into my asks and i’ll retell it in a much less graphic version!)

chapter song. never forget you (zara larsson, mnek)

series masterlist

Death.

The stench of it reeked everywhere. Blood pooled at the ends of your dress, the warm liquid dripping from your fingers. You couldn’t see what was in front of you, not when your vision had been obscured black, painted red with everyone’s lifeless eyes staring back emptily at you and carrying an ominous message behind words that never had the chance to be spoken.

Satoru was gone.

You ran through flights of stairs as you bunched your dress up, dried blood present on your cheek. The gray cemented walls of this unknown building began to close down on you, suffocating you, trapping you – and then there he was. Your lover, your world, your everything – he stood on top of a pile of bodies, his face as grim as the deaths he’s caused, but that wasn’t what stood out from the scene. It was the fact you couldn’t recognize him anymore; the man before you was nothing else but the devil incarnate himself. Then, just as you ran his way, fingers outstretched to grasp at his shirt, Satoru disappeared.

He was gone.

A scream ripped out your throat as you scrambled for the sheets, pulling them up in a haste to shield yourself. The images were now gone, but that fear kept drumming into you, gloops of blood making its way through your room’s white exterior.

It’s not real, it’s not real – Satoru’s arms snaked over to your side, his eyes droopy from being woken up. You would’ve apologized, knowing he never really got proper sleep, but you were already wrapping your arms around yourself, gaze repeatedly darting back to the walls – to check for bodies, for blood, for death, for him.

“Hey,” Satoru drew you close to him until your head fell on his chest. Out of instinct, you flattened your ear above where his heartbeat rested. Thump thump – he was real, he was safe, alive – he wouldn’t do that. Satoru wasn’t that kind of person. You clung to him like a koala and mumbled incoherently at the skin of his neck, clutching his shirt so tight it wrinkled horribly. Satoru merely littered kisses all over the crown of your head to soothe you, although he was not free to this fear you felt; he was just as nervous for an unknown reason. “Angel, what’s wrong?”

“You-you were leaving—”

“Shh, angel, I’m not, I’m here,” he wrapped you closer to his body, the sheets still warm and smelling like him as if to add reassurance to his words. “You’re alright. I’m here, angel, it’s okay.”

“I was going to die,” you quivered. It had only been a fleeting moment when you saw it, but you were there too. Dressed in white, arms covered in lace and a crown adorning your head; it seemed as if you were meant to be on top of the bodies, and Satoru sat upon it like a throne. It transitioned from being the witness to being the victim in a minute and your chest squeezed so hard you choked out, “I was dying, baby.”

“You’re not going to die. No one’s going to hurt you, you understand?” Satoru cupped your cheeks to force you to look him in the eye. “I’m going to keep you safe no matter what. Not leaving your side, angel, that’s a promise.”

“Don’t you dare.”

“I would never do that,” he nodded before he raised your pinky. Satoru looped both your fingers and kissed the conjoined form, not once leaving your gaze the whole time. “I promise,” he whispered, foreheads touching and breaths mingling. Like one soul intertwined, you once mused, feeling yourself get lost in the depth of azure pools he harboured. “There’s nowhere to go without you anyway; you’re the greatest gift in my life. I’d do anything for you.”

“Don’t leave me. Please.”

“I won’t, angel. I never will.”

And you believed that. Like the fool you were, you really believed that.

The bank loomed over you, its mere presence impending and bringing about a wave of discomfort to you. Awkwardly, you stepped inside, hiding your face in your hair to conceal the nausea threatening to urge you to throw up. You couldn’t help but survey the entire area out of instant wariness, holding tighter to your phone.

Seeing as there was no line, you sat on the nearest open window. “Hi, uhm…I recently got transferred this money from…an old friend, you could say,” you informed with furrowed brows, fishing your phone out of your pocket as you logged into your account. The whole time, your hands turned sweaty and the phone nearly slipped from your grasp out of anxiety. The woman assisting you flashed you a sympathetic smile, patient and kind enough to listen to your small voice through the glass. “I lost contact with them so I can’t return it. I was wondering if maybe you could help me rewind the transaction?”

“Oh, we can definitely do that Ma’am, may I see?” Nodding, you handed her your phone. In an instant, the polite smile fell from her lips, altering into a nervous one the next. “Oh…” she blinked back at the digits, clearly overwhelmed from the amount of zeroes. Dropping her voice, she leaned closer to you, “Do you…do you know the account owner personally?”

“Yes,” you admitted, “Well, I used to.”

“And they wired you all this?”

“About two weeks ago, yeah.”

The employee sat there for a full minute, possibly contemplating how to go about this. It didn’t set well with you – that mysterious, almost suspicious smile she had – that you debated whether just asking for your phone back. “Excuse me for a moment. I think I should take this to the higher-ups,” she announced while scanning the bank with narrowed eyes, leaving before you could have a say in it.

The next minutes that passed had never felt more gruelling.

You sat there with a frantic heart, your jeans damp from the countless times you’ve wiped your hand on it. Nothing seemed to be out of the ordinary. People came in for their own agendas, the hushed ‘inside voice’ as faint as ever, then they left. Repeat. End of conversation.

It was just another normal, boring day for everyone else – but not for you.

“Miss?” a voice pulled you away from your thoughts. A half-bald man was now standing before you, the previous employee you’d been talking to right behind him, her head ducked down. Manager, his tag read, which made sense. He gestured for you to come inside the back parts of the bank, and you gripped your purse tighter as you followed them.

The inside wasn’t that special or different from the outside. There were lesser chairs but bigger, brighter white walls. His office was located right in the middle where the female employee closed the glass doors behind you, silent and timid as she prepared you tea. Meanwhile, you sat there with your hands wrung in your lap, stomach already falling from the grim expression he wore. “About the funds, I’m afraid we can’t do anything about this transaction. While it had been transferred you, neither us nor the bank has the authorization to do anything about this. Whoever sent it to you is the only one that can either take it back or liquidize it,” he pushed his glasses back to his face, an apologetic sigh leaving his lips. “I’m afraid we can’t help you with this, Miss, we’re really sorry—”

“No!” you slammed your palms on the desk, “No, I don’t want the money, wire it back to him!”

“Miss, we already told you, it’s out of control—”

You shook your head. This wasn’t real – Satoru had to be joking! He couldn’t just give you this and disappear into thin air! In fact, you never even cared for the money; you were just hoping that maybe you’d find a way back to him if nothing but digits was the only thing left to prove he even existed. Desperation clawed its way through your throat as you fell on your knees, helpless tears streaming down your face. “Please, you have to do something, I don’t want the money, I just want him back, please! I just need to talk to him once more and he’s your client, right? Let me talk to him, I know you have contact with him, Sir, please, I’m begging you—”

“Security!” the manager hollered. The sounds of doors slamming open made you stand up straight, eyes wide at the incoming pairs of guards ready to escort you out. “It’s best you schedule a personal appointment with the account owner, Miss. We also suggest you remain on the down-low instead of causing a ruckus like this. You don’t know who’s going to be grabbing at every opportunity to take what was given to you.”

“Everything’s been taken away from me!” you argued back, walking around the desk to clasp the manager’s hand. He pulled away for a moment before you squeezed his hands, the tearing of your heart too painful to bear. You just wanted to see him. “Come on, please, I don’t care about the money, I just—”

They didn’t let you finish. Just like Satoru, just like everybody else, they discarded you to the side, treated you like you were a nobody who didn’t deserve a second chance.

“Escort her out, please.”

And just like that, your fate had been decided. No...perhaps it had been determined the moment he left, and now you walked blearily along the narrowed gaps between buildings, unable to find your way back home.

Where was home anyway? Your penthouse with Satoru? Your cramped dorm back at the university? Your empty flat that had once been a happy home with your parents before they too, left you behind with nothing but a family portrait as a memory? It was pathetic. You meant nothing. Obviously, no one valued you enough, not even Satoru who’d just given you enough to let you live comfortably for the rest of your life. But no matter how much he provided, it wasn’t what you wanted. It wouldn’t bring back the one thing you wanted most, and you fell on the rough pavement, too tired to care about the stinging of your palms.

You clutched at your heart in a debilitated attempt to soothe way your chest squeezed uncomfortably. You were literally in the middle of the nowhere, trapped between the walls that hid you in the darkness and muffled your cries.

He’d left – he really left.

He didn’t keep his promise, and your nightmare had now become reality. You had to bite down your shirt to keep the agony to yourself, nails dug so deep into your jeans it left a mark above your skin. Hours passed, maybe minutes – who knew?

The sun had gone down and the streets grew busier than before, the honking and lively bustling of the night city like background noise to you.

Your key back to the penthouse weighed heavily at your back pocket. There was still the option of just going back home, but what good would that do? Everywhere you went, you were reminded of him. There was no escaping the beautiful memories he left you with, there was no exit from his miserable dream you were forced to wake up into.

Nothing mattered anymore. You felt so lost, the motivation to find your way back depleted just like your energy. You only had your bodily instincts to thank for when your stomach grumbled, demanding to be fed and nurtured even in such a hopeless situation. It made you want to laugh – that even as your heart and soul gave up on you – your body was doing its best to keep you alive and get through the day. You heaved yourself away from the wall and wiped the dirt away from your palms, the rhythm of your feet one heavy clump next to the other.

There was a nice Chinese restaurant at the end of the street that glowed brightly, invitingly. If you could just have dinner, maybe you’d feel better.

But you never got three steps across.

A cold blade had been pressed to your neck, sinister laughter echoing from the darkness of the night. “Scream and you die, sweetheart,” a gruff voice crooned in your ear, followed by a more high-pitched, maniacal chuckles. There was two of them. Fear lit your nerves up and you scrambled to run, but this man was too strong. He didn’t even have to try too much into increasing pressure to your neck, slicing the first layers of your skin that was enough to prick both blood and tears from you. “Ah, ah, ah! Resisting won’t get you anywhere. We just want to talk, okay? No foul play needed.”

You shut your eyes in submission, too afraid to even swallow the bile rising in case the movement would push the knife further. You could only let out a weak, “What do you want from me?”

“Oh, what else?” said his accomplice, showing up in front of you with a creepy smile. He tipped his head side to the side, revealing the silver replacements of his teeth that glinted under the streetlights. “You got his hidden slush fund, didn’t you?”

“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Oh, sweetheart, you don’t need to lie, we saw you leave that bank. Plus, everyone’s been talking about it!” cheered the guy behind you, pushing you forwards with his blade finally withdrawn. You stumbled on your feet as they pointed to the nearest ATM. For a moment, you contemplated making a run for it. The ATM was only a few kilometres away from the Chinese restaurant and you could be safe if you run fast enough, but you were too obvious, the deceit written all over your face. The first guy then pressed a gun against your head, a silent reminder that you were the weaker one here. “Don’t even think about it,” he warned, “Now you’ll withdraw it little by little, okay? We just want a piece of it, a fraction of it is enough to last us a lifetime.”

Exhaling deeply, you raised your hands in surrender. “I can’t withdraw it.”

“The fuck did you say?”

“I said I can’t withdraw it! I don’t have access—”

“Bullshit, bitch, you’ve got so much of it, just give to us before we kill you,” he cocked his gun, his friend following suit and retrieving a pistol from his belt. Your lips quivered at the sight of two guns aimed at your way, but you remained firm in your spot, shaking your head at them. The man’s eyes darkened, displeased by your response. He narrowed his eyes at you before nodding to his friend.

“Fuck this man, she’s a selfish cunt. Take her phone and her belongings.”

“No, please, don’t—”

It was too late. They had pushed you on the ground, your bum throbbing from the fall. The second guy rummaged your pockets before pulling out your wallet, jaw dropping from the contents. “Fuck,” he exclaimed, flashing a Polaroid you had kept the whole time. “This you and Six Eyes?”

Your heart fell.

It was a photo of you and Satoru on your first anniversary where he’d whisked you off to a sky tower, arrogantly declaring that he’d make you experience the best date ever.

He wasn’t lying – his arrangement of fireworks and a romantic date in the sky really had been the best – and he’d snapped a picture of you then, sneakily landing a kiss on your cheek while you gasped at the display of fireworks before you.

Just seeing it felt like torture all over again, and the thief snickered at your tear stained face. “Oh, I see. You’re his whore, aren’t you? Everyone called it bullshit when word got around Six Eyes had a little angel hidden somewhere around here. I gotta say though, you are a pretty thing. Makes sense you got him pussy whipped.”

“Whoever Six eyes fucks – especially someone he liked enough to pay this much – that is fine meat, man,” the other muttered more to himself. His eyes then lit up with a thought, the smirk tugging at his lips screaming trouble. “It’d be a shame to not have a taste.”

You paled. Scrambling as much as you could with sore legs, you pushed their arms away from you. “Let go of me!” you cried out, kicking harder when they’ve discarded their guns and focused on carrying you instead. Everything muted that night except for the pounding of your heart as you struggled to get away from them, arms flailing the moment one of them yanked your shirt down to expose your bra. “Don’t fucking touch me, let go!”

It must be luck that your punch landed on his nose, a sickening crack resonating in the street. All of you remained still, with you flattening your back on the wall, arms protectively sheltering your chest and the pair staring at the other guy’s broken nose.

He winced at seeing blood on his fingers, “Oh, you’re just asking for it bitch,” he snarled, snapping his fingers to get his friend’s attention and pointing at you. “Grab her leg.”

Both of them made quick work. It all happened so fast you couldn’t tell which was who anymore. Your shirt had been ripped off; the straps of your bra tugged down to free a nipple while your arms had been knocked into the building behind you. One of them kept you immobile, their grips too strong and their bodies twice your size that you were easily overpowered. You never cried so hard in your life – not even when you realized Satoru had left – and your throat ached from how much you wept.

“Stop, no, let go of me!”

“Shut her the fuck up, bruh,” the man unzipping your jeans scowled, his fingers playing with the waistband of your underwear. You sobbed and screamed, fought hard as much as you could, but you were too weak. Too vulnerable. Too pathetic.

Maybe it was just better to let go.

Maybe it was just better to stop.

Your shoulders fell as they shimmied your jeans down your hips, each and every inch of your body no longer yours. Was this how you would die? Was this how you would finish? If so, you would’ve appreciated at least one last dinner.

You were about to close your eyes the moment you heard the sounds of a man’s belt unbuckling, too lost in your own horror that you failed to hear the screeching of tires, and neither did they. And then, like a light at the end of the tunnel, like an angel dropping from the heavens – gunshots rang through the air. Blood splattered to your cheek. Heavy bodies crunched against the ground.

He’d come back.

Except it wasn’t Satoru leaning in front of a car when you opened your eyes. The man stood a few inches shorter, blond shaggy hair falling just above his eyebrows, the ends dyed black. His body was tilted to the side, half of his weight shifted on a cane upon closer look, but you were mostly captivated in his eyes. He showed no malice intent; hell, he didn’t even spare a glance at the corpses with holes between their eyes, silently blowing the smoke away from his barrel like this was a common thing for him.

He had his eyes on you, uncaring of the fact you were half-naked before him since his attention remained on your face.

“So it’s true,” he mused, “I didn’t believe at first when they said Six Eyes really gave the notes to his girl. A commoner, no less,” he limped towards you, feline-eyes slanted to inspect you. “But nothing about you is common, is there? To get the demon to soften up…you really must be something else,” his gloved hands ran a finger down to your jaw, and you shut your eyes tight, leaning away from his touch. The man clicked his tongue at your reactions but withdrew his hand anyway, stepping a few feet away from you to give you space. “Don’t be so scared. You and I are not that different. We’re both just poor victims of facing the consequences of his actions,” he tapped his cane at your shoes, his face devoid of expression. “Stand up. You won’t get anywhere by crying. You need to learn how to fight.”

You swung the door open, ready to finally get the shoes you’ve been gushing to Naoya about for days. But you were met with nothing but a tuft of white hair, blood smattered on his cheeks, and lips crashing down onto yours. Satoru pinned you against the wall in the same manner he held you on that day he left, his kisses harsh and longing while you moaned into his mouth, legs turning into jelly.

“Angel,” he rasped into your mouth, grinding his boner to the thin material of your night gown. “I told you you’re fucking mine.”

Satoru forced his tongue past your lips and kept you close to him, his intoxicating scent tempting you to give in and enjoy it already. For a split second, you faltered, kissing him back with the love you once harboured for him, but then you blanked.

This was Satoru.

You were married to Naoya.

He’d began to leave kisses at your jawline when you pulled back, landing a sharp elbow right at his head. Satoru fell on the floor and you panted above him as you tried to make yourself decent. Fuck, that hurt like a bitch. You had to roll your shoulders back to get rid of the tension as you made the mental note to train in combat harder, pinching the bridge of your noise before you summoned the servants.

Satoru was knocked out for a solid hour. You found it funny that the infamous omnipotent Six Eyes was now sprawled all over your couch, soft snores emitting from his lips. He’d been pretty unresponsive to you so ice far, not even a budge as you iced the bruise you’d left on his face.

You sighed. His shirt was stained with blood, the pads of his knuckles matted with wounds and bruises. You couldn’t help yourself from brushing his hair away from his eyes, humming a little until his eyes cracked open. Satoru stared at the ceiling before his eyes landed on you hovering before him, your touch gentle in paradox to the heat of your gaze. “What are you doing here, Satoru?” you sighed, gesturing to the mess he had on his shirt. “Where have you been?”

“In a fight.”

“No shit,” you rolled your eyes, “You still haven’t answered my question. What are you doing here?”

“I-I don’t know. I just…I lost it for a moment and—”

“Do I want to know why?”

“It’s stupid,” he mumbled to himself and faced the couch. Even after seven years, he was still very much the petty kid at heart. You could confidently bet he was pouting right now, and you crossed your leg over the other, hiding a small smile behind your palm. “I overheard one of my men making a sleazy comment that Naoya’s wife looked like a bitch who would jump at every alpha male,” Satoru grumbled, prying for your reaction by looking across his shoulder. “I don’t know what came over me after that.”

“Did you kill them?”

“Almost,” he scrunched his nose, “Then I pictured your face. Maybe you wouldn’t want me to do that.”

“So you care about what I want now?”

Satoru shut his eyes. Of course you’d never stop bringing that up – both to your demises – since you were both a sadist who didn’t mind receiving pain every now and then. Five years of marriage with Naoya taught you to be resilient to all types of pain, the experiences and horrors you’ve lived through practically making you immune to them now. Satoru, on the other hand, didn’t seem to be on the same boat as you. He sat up, his hips flushed next to your thighs, burying his hands on his head. “Angel, about everything... are we not going to talk about what happened before?”

“Is there anything to talk about?” you deadpanned, surprising the guy who widened his eyes at you. Surely, he must be expecting a different form of hatred coming from you, but you were indifferent – numb, empty. “The past is in the past, Satoru. You know better than anyone else it’s easier to just walk away.”

“I’m really sorry.”

“For what?” you faked a smile, placing your chin on your hands while blinking up at him under innocent eyes. Naoya once told you that your attitude of being unbothered bothered a lot more people, and it was a technique you’ve loved ever since. Seeing Satoru crumble before you...nothing felt more satisfying. “For barging in here or for kissing me? Maybe both?”

“For everything,” he answered brokenly, “For all the pain I’ve put you through.”

“Do you think apologies are going to suddenly eradicate that?”

“…No.”

“Then I don’t need it,” you taunted, patting his thigh as you stood up, tying the knots of your robe safer this time. You couldn’t be bothered to wear underwear beneath them; if Satoru tried laying his hands on you again, you wouldn’t hesitate to cut his fingers off, and the plain sight of a dagger now strapped in your thigh was enough of a reminder for him. He made sure to keep his distance.

“Come with me. I’ll show you what we’ve been working on,” Satoru’s footsteps were silent as you led him past the secret doors hidden behind Naoya’s study, the room leading into an even bigger part of the house that stored most of your possessions. Satoru let out an awed gasp behind you once the lights and slight whirs of the machine buzzed through the room, chemicals bubbling from one side and little pills being packaged on the other. Your face lit up in a smile from the sheer pride of your hard work, arms extended to the side to present everything. “This is mostly where we manufacture Xenet. All of this – it’s mine. My personal little laboratory, or as Naoya calls it, my playroom,” you grinned, “I feel at peace here.”

“Making drugs?”

“Being safe,” you corrected with a roll of your eyes, “Acting like I’m normal. That gives me peace.”

Satoru was hot on your heels all the way to the main laboratory, where you’d pestered him into wearing safety gloves before entering. You donned a white coat from the blast of AC that enraged goosebumps, leading him in front of a huge clear wall that formulated Xenet’s pure creation. Stacks of purple powder lined up on layers all kept inside a cooling room, and you stepped to the side, muttering to yourself while checking today’s inventory like it was totally normal to manufacture illegal drugs inside your home.

You would’ve looked domestic if Satoru wasn’t feeling the slightest bit dizzy from the drug-coated atmosphere; one that you’d gotten resistant from.

“What brought you here?” Satoru voiced out, shaking his head to himself. He looked terribly devastated, cheeks sunken and dark circles lining his eyes. “I never thought...”

“That I’d be like you?” you finished for him. Tucking a stray strand behind your ear, you smiled at Satoru and pushed past him to list down your observations for today. “Don’t get me wrong. I’m not like Naoya; I’m not a mass murderer.”

“But you’re supporting him.”

“He keeps me safe as long as I’m useful to him,” you paused in your tracks, the spite evident in your tongue. “If you hadn’t left me, I wouldn’t have to be like this. There are thousands of people after me because you named me after that account. Other than Naoya, there’s really no other reason I’m still alive and breathing,” Satoru was speechless from your confession, which was good, since you didn’t want him chatting too much in the first place. You ignored him as you continued typing notes on your monitor, acting unaffected, but the way you punched through the keys told a different story. “This is the least I could do for him. In exchange of protection, I’ll be sharing my intelligence and give him what he wants.”

“Doesn’t it sicken you that we’re like this? That we do all this – for money, power, control – without the slightest bit of conscience?” Satoru scoffed, “You’ve been married for him a long time. I know you’re not a stranger to the fact we even enjoy this.”

You stopped your task, turning to Satoru with flared nostrils. “You know, Satoru, painting yourself as a demon to look like a victim won’t make me sympathize,” you spat out, absolutely losing it. “I don’t care what you’ve been doing before you met me. I don’t care that you killed or hurt people. I’m not the slightest bit of the angel you claim me to be because if I was as pure as that, don’t you think I would’ve stopped loving you?”

Everything crumbled to dust.

Years of convincing yourself you didn’t care anymore, years of healing yourself, years of working hard to forget him – and all crumbled to dust.

“What are you—”

“I knew!” you cut him off, “I knew everything. I’m not dumb, Satoru. No matter how much you tried to hide it back then, I saw the blood stains. I could smell the alcohol. I know drugs when I see it,” Satoru took a step back in surprise, but you kept going. Now that you’ve started it, you might as well finish it, and your eyes pricked with tears before you could stop it. “But I never cared. I was selfish – blinded by love. Back then, I told myself I didn’t care who you were because I loved you unconditionally,” You were breathing hard from finally releasing that damn fucking weight off your shoulders, your resolve breaking as you wiped your tears with the back of your hand while Satoru remained frozen. “Every night, I cried myself to sleep. I always asked myself why did it have to be you? Why did you have to be that way? Why did you have to be a monster? It broke me to no end, Satoru, but every time I tried to think of you as awful, you would hold me so close that it felt like everything was a lie,” your voice faltered, “I loved you in spite of everything you’ve done. I’m just selfish like that.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” you cried, “Many times...I turned a blind eye to it. I didn’t want to force something out of you because I knew you weren’t ready, but I was always waiting, Satoru,” gesturing to the both of you, Satoru watched your frantic movements. “Did you think I didn’t mean it when I said I would love you no matter what – no matter who you might be? I meant every word of it. You didn’t have to leave me because I would’ve still left everything behind if you asked me to go with you. I don’t care anymore, I never did. I just wanted to be with you.”

“Angel...” he trailed off, debating whether to hold you or just stay put. Satoru chose the latter and ran his hands over his hair, breathing hard as he, too, wavered. “I was scared. Each time I see your face, I-I can’t help but think about losing you. It haunts me every fucking night that what if I’m not strong enough? What if I couldn’t protect you?” his voice broke, “You were the only good thing in my life. I couldn’t handle losing you just because you got too close.”

You shoved him hard. “That’s no fucking excuse! You told me – y-you told me that I made you feel strong, that I gave you hope, that I made you feel like nothing could stand in your way – so don’t stand there and fucking tell me you were scared!”

Satoru kept taking a step back from the force of your hits, and he took them all with a brave face, but it seemed that he too had reached his limit as you leered, “Don’t be a fucking coward!”

“It’s because I loved you!” Satoru gripped your wrists and tugged you to him, effectively taking the ability to speak away from you. “My whole life, I got everything I wanted and things were easy for me! I don’t know what it’s like to lose something because I had control of everything except you! I didn’t want you stuck and burdened with my sins all for the sake of something as greed!” he bellowed, his forehead connected with yours and the warmth of his body more than welcoming. “I am a greedy man, angel, I would take everything I want with no hesitation but I couldn’t do it with you. It was easier to let you go,” he mumbled, “Than to regret making you unhappy by revealing my true self. Because the way you looked at me – you loved me so much I don’t think I’m worthy of it,” Satoru trudged closer to you, almost rubbing his skin over your soft ones just to say, “I don’t deserve you.”

You pulled away from him.

You’d tore open every chance of reconciliation. And if you were to be honest? You didn’t regret it.

“You’re right,” you snickered sarcastically, “You really don’t deserve me. Here I thought maybe Naoya would be the weaker of the two of you, but he’s more of a man than you are, Satoru. Naoya never gave an excuse for anything – it didn’t matter whether he was capable of something or not – he always tried to the best of his ability. He’s not the type to give up before he’s even tried it,” You knew you were just pushing his buttons, this was much clear from how Satoru was holding himself back, but you couldn’t stop. You were unstoppable, harsh as you challenged your once lost lover who had now wound up before you once more.

“If you truly loved me and felt you didn’t deserve me, then don’t you think you should’ve tried harder?”

You wanted him to regret it. You wanted him to feel your pain a thousand times more. You wanted him to realize what he’d done wrong. But most of all, you wanted him to try harder, to redeem himself, to be worthy of a second chance.

But just like how he’d broken your heart before, Satoru did it again.

Because even after every fucking thing, the only thing he was capable of saying was: “I’m sorry, Angel.”

You’d grown too tired of apologies. But because it was him, because you loved him, then you’d fucking hear it all over again. Just try, you wanted to beg, try for me, Satoru.

“Your plans will continue to fail, Satoru,” you agonized, “You never protected me. The moment you left, my life turned to hell and I almost died way too many times for me to count. This time is no different. We’re all just pawns in the Zen’in’s game, so if you really want both of us to live, you should do your part,” Sighing, you turned away from him, just about ready to call it a night. You were too tired. “Give back the money to Naoya, and he’ll keep me safe until the end of it all. You can just go back to where you came from.”

“Naoya won’t stand a chance against Toji. It’s not his money anyway, he should give it back to his cousin—”

“And neither is it yours!”

“Don’t be fucking stupid, you see the flaw of his plans too!” Satoru gestured to your lab, to everything that you proudly claimed an effort of your hard work. “Even if I gave back everything to Naoya, it won’t stop Toji from anything! He might not kill you anymore, but he’ll definitely kill your husband and take over the mafia, or his kid, then where will you go?”

“Follow him into death like the good wife I am.”

Satoru was stunned by the lack of hesitance in your answer. “You’re serious about this,” he echoed, blinking back to process the gravity of your devotion to your husband. “Even if Toji somehow dies, it doesn’t change the fact Naoya will still proceed with plans to manipulate Japan to his will. He’s going to drug everyone until he’s at the top of the food chain. Your husband doesn’t want to be a businessman; he wants to be a god. Plus, he doesn’t care about you, he’s only using you!”

“Like I said,” you smiled weakly,  “He keeps me safe as long as I’m useful to him. Once he gets everything he wants, it’s game over.”

“No...” Satoru gritted his teeth, “No, I won’t let it happen. You’re not going anywhere; you’re not going to die!”

“So then protect me!” you shouted at his face, “Do what it is you never got to do before and protect me! I’m disposable, don’t you see? No matter what I do, no matter where I go, no matter how loyal I am to him, I am nothing! Each step I take forwards is just a step closer to my prolonged death!” you spewed word for word with so much venom Satoru felt like he was choking, but it was nothing in comparison as you fell on the floor, weeping with your fists pressed against your eyes. “If you hadn’t left me...I wouldn’t have to live fearing for my life every second. So protect me, Satoru. If you really want me to forgive you, at least save me this once.”

“I will, angel,” he promised – and how many more promises had he made, only to break them? You couldn’t be blamed for not believing him, for finding wariness in his words, for flinching a little bit as he crouched before you, cupping your cheek the same way he did before. “I promise you that. I’m never leaving, never gonna leave your side ever again.”

“You better not,” you chuckled darkly, eventually giving in from his touch.

Yes, he’d left you...yes, he’d hurt you – but until now it felt like home, even if it also conflicted with the fact this was wrong.

“My only wish is that when I die, I want to die without hating you,” you muttered with your lips hovering his, your breaths tangling and his hands finding its way to your hair. “So don’t make me hate you anymore, Satoru. Grant me peace before I leave.”

“You’re not going to die,” he closed his eyes and took the first leap of faith by grazing his lips with yours, a faint glimmer of the sweetness he once had the pleasure of savouring with each waking moment of his life. But he was stupid back then – he’d be even more stupid to not learn his lesson this time around.

“I won’t let that happen, you understand?” Satoru breathed out, “You will be safe. You will live.”

He had said it so confidently, so surely, that for a moment, you believed it. You believed maybe you’d really win this round and come out unscathed, to live, to survive – even if the chances were slim to none to begin with. For now, you didn’t want to be a mafia leader’s wife, nor did you want to be another’s broken lover. You just wanted to be someone who didn’t want to die, to find comfort in the empty promises from the same man who kept breaking and breaking them, and maybe for now, that was enough.

Without another thought, not even the image of Naoya’s smile, you let it go.

You pulled Satoru close to you and kissed him hard and deep, swallowing his surprised moan with that exact same greediness, that desperation to live. You knew the moment Naoya came back or Toji found you, everything would be game over. So for now, this was enough.

A/N. SOOOOO? THOUGHTS? THEORIESSSSS? DO WE HAVE A TEAM NAOYA HERE OR IS IT JUST ME HAHAHAHAHA

taglist OPEN (lmk if you want to be added/removed): @sixeyesgojo @shingekiyofeels @q-the-rockaholic @whatthefuckisthatthing @rogueofbullshit @kat-su-ki @kellyyween @sebootyforlife @greysoulthings @charlie-xo @aoi-turtle @ladywaifuuwrites @savantsoulfinder @my-reality-is-in-my-head @hannya-quinn @90s-belladonna​ @tinyfrogsinmybrain @kinekyuroo​ @evesmores​ @ambiguous-something​ @lilith412426​ @kakashiharusohma @aizawap​ | bolded users cannot be tagged ://

[spenciegoob]

A Short Film

A/N: hey hey hey... mid writing this I realized how much I jumped the gun and thought this was a good concept, but now that I’m thinking too hard about it, maybe it’s not. I also wrote too much of it to back down now, so hopefully someone out there enjoys this as much as I did in my head lol.

Summary: Spencer steps way out of his comfort zone to ask his film major girlfriend a question.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Category: Fluff

Content Warnings: nothing really...  Spencer hardcore struggling with technology

Word Count: 3.5k

Masterlist

___

“Hey Garcia, do you think you could help with something?” Spencer asked, rubbing the back of his neck nervously and not looking up from the floor of her office.

“Of course, Boy Wonder? What can I do for you?” Garcia answered while excitedly turning her chair back to her wall of screens.

Spencer grabbed the extra chair in her office and mumbled, “Actually um,” causing Garcia to completely abandon her position and fully face the genius.

“Spencer, are you okay? Is something wrong?” Spencer couldn’t blame her for asking. He was sweating more than usual, his face was bright red and he hadn’t stop fiddling with his hands since he shut the door.

“Oh no, nothing’s wrong. I just, uh, I don’t really know how to ask this,” Spencer stumbled back. It was the truth after all. No life experience had prepared him for such a request, one that in the grand scheme of things was not a lot, but to Spencer.

To Spencer, it was everything.

“That’s okay. Take your time,” Penelope stated back, and coming from anyone else, Spencer would have believed it was sarcastic in nature. But he also knew that Penelope was one of the only people he could never find judgement or maliciousness from.

You were the other.

“So Y/N and I as you’re probably aware have been together for 2 years now, and you also know that she just got her degree in cinematography and design, which is really funny if you think about it because I know nothing about any of that, but she knows everything. You know, sometimes she’ll explain to me what she sees through her eyes and it’s nothing like what I’ve ever been able to. I’m rambling now but I want to do that,” Spencer spurted out, and once he was done, he took a breath so deep Penelope whole-heartedly believed if he spent one more second talking, he may pass out.

“Woah there, slow down. First of all, that’s adorable. I love Y/N so much. Second of all, how exactly am I supposed to help you see things that way? Shouldn’t she be more help?” Penelope questioned, now completely confused about Spencer’s intentions with this very early morning visit.

“She can’t exactly know. It’s kind of a surprise thing,” Spencer answered shyly. He hadn’t even gotten to the punchline and yet, he was contemplating every move.

Was this a good idea?

But when he saw the way Penelope lit up before she yelled, “Tell me everything, and spare no details. None!” He knew he would stop at nothing to make this perfect.

“So here’s what I was thinking.”

That was 1 year ago today, and since then, Spencer has tried to figure out what to say when he revealed his big project. He stood in front of the mirror every day for 365 days trying to find the perfect way to put it. Still when you sat on your shared couch gazing up at him in amusement, confusion and adoration all at once, his mouth was dry and his throat clamped up.

“Spence, you’re starting to scare me. Are you okay?” You asked, watching as your boyfriend stared at you like a deer caught in headlights with a laptop and assorted cords in his hands.

“Uh, yes! Yes I am okay. I just need to um, this needs to go. You know what? I wasn’t told how to do this part, can you help me?” Spencer paced back and forth between you and the TV four times while he was talking before he stopped defeated in front of you. He wouldn’t have asked for help unless he was certain Penelope was smart enough to insert a black screen in the beginning of what caused the laptop to burn a hole in his hand.

“Yes, of course,” you said, slightly chuckling at his confusion. Spencer Reid and technology, whilst tragic, was also very adorable. “What are you trying to do?”

“I need the video on the laptop to play on the TV,” he stated simply. At least he knew what he wanted. That was a new, first step in the right direction.

“Okay easy. Just hand me that cord, and,” you drew out the ‘and’ as you bent around the TV and plugged in the cord. “Perfect. Now just plug this end into the laptop and hit play.” You handed Spencer back his end of the cord, watching as he examined the object and the side of the computer to know where exactly to put it. It almost felt like watching a toddler try and find the rightly shaped hole for the triangle piece, and you’d be lying if you said it wasn’t endearing.

Before he could break anything, you stepped in. “I know you’d be able to figure it out, but it’s that one.”

“Thank you,” he mumbled back sheepishly. 

“Okay so a little back story. A year ago today, I asked Penelope to teach me how to record videos on my new phone. Thank you for that by the way, the camera on it is really cool, and I’m not just saying that because it’s one of the only things I know how to work. Anyways, I started secretly recording videos of you, of us, anything that reminded me of you, and me talking about you. So I sent them over to Garcia and she pushed them all together, and I think what I’m trying to say is I made a short film? Home video? It doesn’t really matter, but I’m showing it to you now.” Spencer didn’t acknowledge the shocked look on your face as he settled next to you and put the laptop on the coffee table.

But as you watched him find the video and set up, your jaw stayed slack. Spencer Reid, the world’s biggest technophobe, figured out how to use an iPhone camera just for you. While to others it may not seem like a lot, to you. 

To you, it was everything.

“Spence, I don’t even know what to say. This is the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for me.” It didn’t feel like enough. The amount of awe, and love that filled your chest was so comforting, so warm.

It felt like home. It felt like Spencer.

“You don’t have to say anything, just watch,” he stated before hitting the spacebar, something he’s seen you do plenty of times.

The video started out with Spencer crouching down slightly to where the phone was set up against a bookcase in front of the couch.

“Is it recording?” He whispered, and when he realized it was, he took a step back and gave a thumbs up before rushing to sit on the couch. You couldn’t help but let a full smile stretch across your face, an involuntary act when it came to Spencer.

“Hey, love bug. It’s Spencer, but wait you knew that because you can see me.” There was a small pause as Spencer squinted to see if you could actually see him from his position on the couch. When he realized he was in frame, he continued. “This is totally weird that I’m technically talking to myself right now, but I hope future me gave you an explanation. I tried to wait for a good time to start recording this, and in the two weeks I’ve known how to work that thing,” Spencer said as he pointed to the camera. “We’ve been on a case. I came home tonight, and you’re sleeping right now, but if I stay quiet enough I can say what I need to.”

You looked over at Spencer as he was twiddling with his fingers. Something he only did when he was nervous. You reached over and grabbed one of his hands, giving it a reassuring squeeze, but when you tried to pull away so as to not truly disturb his fidgeting, he caught it. So, you intertwined your fingers together, and continued to watch past Spencer.

“I came home today, and all I wanted to do was hold you. Granted, that’s every day, but today was just, it was really hard. When I came home you were asleep on the couch. One time you told me you didn't like to sleep in our bed while I was away, something about it being too big. At first, I was mad because your poor back, but today I changed my mind because the amount of steps to get to you was much less.”

Spencer unlocked the door to the apartment, resting his head against the wood as he inserted the key into the lock. The most recent case had ended with the death of both the latest victim and the unsub, and he couldn’t bear another second of remembering the scene play out in front of him.

All he wanted to do was lay in her arms, but when he opened the door, the apartment was completely silent.

And then he saw a little fuzzy sock clad foot sticking out from underneath the huge, fluffy blanket on the couch. Slowly, he walked towards you, finding you fast asleep with a t-shirt of his tightly snuggled up to your neck and face.

Spencer got down on a knee in front of you, and brushed the hair that had fallen over your eyes. Slowly, they fluttered open at his feather touch, only to widen with realization.

“You’re home!” You squealed, throwing your hands around his neck. Immediately, he reciprocated the hug, tighter than usual. Spencer tucked his head into your neck and inhaled the scent of your shampoo, a grounding technique he would never tell you he developed. The hands he delicately placed at first across the expanse of your back grew heavier, drawing your body closer to his. 

You pulled your head back, him following your movements, and stared deeply into his eyes for a second. The moment you two locked eyes, he knew the jig was up. Spencer knew you could see right through him, and he knew that even if you weren’t there to witness what he had, you saw it replaying over and over in his eyes.

“You must be tired, let’s get you to bed.” Your words shocked him at first. Usually, the people in his life would ask insistent questions on his mental well-being, and while they were greatly appreciated, Spencer was never one to open up when asked to.

You, however, didn’t meddle, you didn’t push. You simply gave him a place to feel safe as you two settled under the duvet together, never letting go of one another even for a second. You held the back of his head, slowly brushing your fingers through his curls as he laid against your chest. Your fingers were medicinal to him, softly taking away the pain and violence of the day, and replacing it with security, comfort, love.

“No one’s ever been that excited to see me before, let alone knew how to take care of me the way you did. I just,” Spencer trailed off and looked towards our bedroom, where you stirred in your sleep looking for him. “You’re about to wake up and wonder where I went. Now you know what I was doing in “the bathroom” for 30 minutes actually meant. Alright, see you next video, love bug.”

The screen cut to Spencer obviously holding the phone close to his chest, the only thing in frame the space where his shoulder and neck met. The soft chords of the start of Vienna by Billy Joel can be heard from outside the room he was in. 

“Okay, I’m gonna have to sneak up on you. I’m sorry in advance.” 

Spencer finally addressed the camera. As the Spencer on the TV quietly left his position in what you could only assume was your bedroom, you looked over at your very real Spencer softly smiling at the TV.

When he caught your stare, he said “Watch, this is my favorite part.” Turning back to the TV, you watched as Spencer carefully tiptoed to the living room, placing the camera to lean against the vase in the middle of the dinner table to face the kitchen.

In the kitchen, you watched yourself very poorly sing along with Billy Joel using a whisk that you just got done washing as a microphone. The blush that crept up your neck and to your cheeks with embarrassment still felt the same as it did that day.

You hadn’t heard Spencer sneak up on you, not until he was right behind you and let out a soft chuckle at a note you missed. Spencer had never seen someone jump out of their skin as much as you did when he made his presence known. 

“Jesus Spencer, you scared me!” You yelled before a smile crept up your face. You couldn’t help it, even in the most embarrassing times, not when Spencer looked at you like that.

“Sorry, love bug. Although, I didn’t mean for you to stop the show.” At that you hit his chest with the whisk/microphone, both of you laughing fully now. “Come here.”

Spencer took your hand, pulling you softly to his chest where you laid your head to his heart. Wrapping his hand around your waist, the two of you started to slowly sway to the music. You both were incredibly offbeat to Vienna, but listening to Spencer’s heart, you realized that the tempo you were dancing at matched up. Unbeknownst to you, due to the adrenaline of being scared, Spencer could feel your heartbeat on his abdomen, and was swaying to that.

You didn’t know how long you stayed like that, dancing to the in sync beat of each other’s hearts.

The clip of you dancing however only lasted 10 more seconds as the next scene of Spencer bundled up for the fall played. You had met Spencer during the fall, and fell in love with the way the red, yellow and orange leaves contrasted against his honey eyes. This clip was no different.

“Hey, love bug. I’m on my way to deliver this coffee to you in between classes, but I had to stop so I can show you my new friends I’ve made along the way.”

The camera panned down to 4 little ducklings surrounding Spencer’s converse, most of them just waddling around, but one was insistently pecking at the rubber toe of his left shoe. Spencer pointed at the little deviant and said ‘that’s you’ before bringing the camera back up to his face.

“I may have made the mistake of feeding them the fruit I was bringing you, which reminds me I should probably go get you more. I don’t think you’ll be mad though. How could you? Look how cute they are! I kind of want to take them home, but I definitely know that’ll make you mad. Anyways, I just wanted to show off that you’re not always the animal person in this relationship. See you soon, love bug.”

“Oh my god, Spencer. That was the cutest thing I’ve ever seen, but to confirm your thoughts, yes, I would’ve been mad,” you stated, the giddy smile never leaving your face, and giggles spreading themselves through your words.

“I know, I know. They belong in the wild,” he said back, holding up his free hand in faux defeat.

A new scene presented itself to you, this one being Spencer setting up the camera on the bathroom sink while brushing his teeth. You knew you were approaching by the music slowly getting louder.

You entered you and Spencer’s shared bathroom, Don’t Go Breaking My Heart by Elton John playing out of your phone. He was brushing his teeth, and you followed suit, not stopping the small dancing as you did.

You looked at Spencer, and started moving side to side, your free hand grabbing the crook of his elbow to join you. Looking in the mirror expectedly, you watched Spencer look up at the ceiling before joining you, a smile on his face.

Slowly, the two of you fell into a rhythm to the beat of Elton John, making funny faces to each other in the mirror as you did so.

You reached out fully to lean your head on Spencer’s shoulder as you watched.

The scene on the TV shifted once again to show a very flustered you standing in front of the TV with Citizen Kane paused. Your hair was in a messy bun, and you were sporting one of Spencer’s old Caltech t-shirts, and fuzzy black pants with little pumpkins printed everywhere.

Spencer was also wearing the same fuzzy pants.

“Spence, I’m gonna sound crazy here,” you sprinting off the couch after pausing the film you were currently trying to study for your film analysis class. 

“You’re not off to a great start here,” Spencer laughed out. Spencer once told you that no matter what he thought about a book or film, he wanted to listen to you ramble about it for hours. The first thing he fell in love with about you was the way you challenged his thinking, expanding his mind to the possibilities of learning about the difference between production design and cinematography. You taught him something that no class, book or person could ever.

Your mouth dropped open, an over exaggerated gasp leaving your lips, your hand meeting your chest softly. 

“Meanie.” Spencer and you chuckled at the antics, and when the laughs died down, you continued. “Here me out, though.”

And from there, you went into a deep dive about the unreliable narrator, and how it affects camera placement in the scene you two just watched. 

“Oh my god. I talk that fast?” You asked Spencer, who just let a breathy laugh out at your realization.

“Don’t worry, I think it’s adorable,” he whispered the last part, the smile on his face turning from one of hilarity to one full of love.

30 seconds into your rant, you realize the phone he was attempting to hide close to his lap. Your eyes flicked between the camera that was pointed at you, and Spencer, who’s face filled with confusion as to why you stopped talking.

“Are you recording me?” You asked, a smile never leaving your face. Oh no, he’d been caught. Spencer has to think of a believable excuse, and quick.

“Uh, yeah, sorry, I just uh... I figured instead of you trying to write it down later, you’d want all your notes now.” Perfect!

“Damn, that was good,” you said, nodding softly at his swiftness. You couldn’t be mad he lied, how could you when the truth was this beautiful?

“I know, right? I came up with it on the spot,” Spencer joked with you. As if TV Spencer knew he was interrupting a moment, a throat clearing came from the video. The Spencer you saw was from 3 days ago, and was sitting in his car in what looked to be the Quantico parking garage.

“Hi, love bug. I’m days away from showing you this, and I still don’t know what to say. I hope the me you’re with now has figured it out. So, uh, yeah. That’s it. Uh, take it away, future Spencer. Actually, you’d be present Spenc-” The video cut off, courtesy of Penelope Garcia.

“Y/N,” Spencer started, turning to face a very emotional you fully. “I still haven’t found the right words. None of them could express my love for you, and perfect doesn’t come close to describing you. I know you have a thing for supporting evidence, and I think I just provided a lot to prove that the best thing to ever happen in my life is you.” You let out a small giggle, the tears welling in your eyes breaking free. “Oh no, if you cry, then I’m going to.”

You let out a full laugh now as Spencer wiped the tears falling down your cheeks before continuing.

“Before you, I was reckless. I didn’t care what happened as long as I did something to help. Now, I have a reason to be careful, a reason to care. I can’t do that to you, and if I’m going to spend the rest of my life with you, I need to live.”

You inhaled softly as Spencer reached into the pocket of his pants, taking your hand in his.

“Which brings me to my question,” he said with a small smile and cocked his head. Slowly, he dropped down to one knee in front of you.

“Y/N Y/L/N, will you marry me?” Spencer opened the velvet box to reveal a simple silver band with a square cut diamond delicately placed on top.

“Spencer Reid, yes. I will marry you.”

With shaky fingers, he slid the ring on your fingers, the fit perfect. You couldn’t wait any longer, and grabbed his face in your hands to pull his lips to yours. Your lips molded together in perfect harmony, lulling you deeper into Spencer’s embrace. 

“I love you,” you whispered against his lips.

“I love you, too,” Spencer answered, only pulling back far enough to mumble before kissing you again.

Note to self: thank Penelope Garcia.

____

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[aminiatureworld]

Irrational

Characters: Ganyu, Jean, Keqing, gn!reader

Word Count: 4,100

Warnings: Alcohol

Premise: Emotions aren’t always rational, a fact easy enough to ignore when one is happy or in love, or in any similar situation. However more negative aspects aren’t always as easy to ignore.

In which the reader’s s/o is jealous.

Author’s Note: This is our welcome for Jean! I have to admit she was really enjoyable to write. Especially in a prompt such as this, my guilty pleasure trope.

Not proofread because I’m tired will do so tomorrow.

Ganyu

Relationships were still something that often eluded Ganyu. Friendships, work dynamics, love, they all spun around in her head, and though she sometimes found her bearings, relationships still felt like walking on a tightrope high above a dark and churning sea.

These thoughts and feelings still lingered in her mind, even now when her relationship with you was rock solid she still worried. Ganyu was a mess of repressed emotions; isolated from most of humanity she still felt the need to be absolutely perfect near you, to never let her emotions get the best of her, to be the best partner one can be.

Which is why she hated those stupid love notes.

They’d started arriving about a year and a half into your relationship. At first you’d thought it was from her, but your look of happiness quickly turned to one of embarrassment and slight discomfort when she revealed she had no idea who was leaving little gifts and notes at your desk. Although you made a point to get rid of them as soon as you’d read the contents of the letter they still kept coming, and every day Ganyu saw one of those pink little envelopes on your desk she grew more and more irritated.

And yet Ganyu still didn’t want to tell you, for she was afraid that you would think she was suspecting you in some ways. You couldn’t control what was going on after all, why should she burden you with her fears, with the emotions that threatened to squeeze all the air out of her lungs and tear her thoughts to shreds. No, she wouldn’t burden you with this, she’d take care of it herself. You wouldn’t want to be bothered with her stupidity anyways, it’d only cause more problems.

“I really don’t understand who’s doing this.” You groaned, entering the office one morning to the sight of a rose on your desk, the telltale envelope attached to the stem with a red ribbon. Walking over to it, dragging your feet in a way that made Ganyu, who had been standing behind you, giggle you tore open the letter in one nonchalant movement.

“What does it say?” Ganyu kept her voice as soft as possible, trying desperately to ignore the emotions that were threatening to cut off her throat. How long was this going to go on?

“Oh listen to this,” you scoffed, turning towards Ganyu, a wry sort of smile plastered across your face, “my dear friend – as if whoever this creep is would ever be a friend of mine. I noticed recently that you’ve become quite close to the secretary of the Liyue Qixing. I would never question your decisions – oh of course not – but I find that work romances never last. Perhaps if we were to meet I could explain to you why, though I’m sure you already know the reasons yourself and would never dream in participating in such a thing. Still, I await you reply. Sincerely, your secret admirer.”

With a flourish you bowed, before promptly chucking the letter in the trash. “Well at least they seem finally to be catching on to the fact I’m disinterested. Honestly though, I don’t know what this person is thinking. I really ought to complain to the department, see if they can’t find out why this is happening.”

“I agree,” Ganyu couldn’t help but let disgust fill her voice, “this is harassment. You really ought to tell someone about it.”

“You’re right,” you nodded, before sighing. “I’d hate to be a pain though…”

“You aren’t!” Ganyu shook her head, indignant at the insinuation. “Protecting yourself isn’t being a pain. This isn’t merely distracting, it’s concerning. You deserve better.”

“Thank you Ganyu.” You smiled; glancing around to make sure no one was there you gave her a soft peck on the cheek. “You’re always looking out for me.”

“Of course I am!” Ganyu replied, her face burning slightly. “I love you.” She added softly.

“I love you too.” You smiled. Sitting down you glanced at the rose as if it were a weapon rather than a flower. “A pity they keep sending flowers, I hate to throw out the poor things.” Hesitating you took it in your hands, smiling sheepishly as you stuffed it into your desk drawer. Ganyu smiled back, attempted to ignore the small twinge of annoyance that rattled in her and whispered that she should burn the reminder of her suffering.

The two of you had worked later than usual that day, and it showed the next morning as you failed to show up at your usual spot. Although Ganyu might’ve normally waited for you, today she glanced around her before quickening her pace as she made her way towards the Qixing headquarters. This was the opportunity she’d been waiting for, and though she felt slightly bad about sneaking around behind your back she was also at her wits’ end, and if she wasn’t going to tell you then she was surely going to figure out once and for all what was going on.

The door had been left open by the last person who entered, and Ganyu wrinkled her nose at the irresponsibility of such a thing before walking inside herself. The office was mostly dark, and the contrast of your light being the only one visible throughout the hallway immediately put her on high alert.

Her suspicions were justified when she walked through the door. A man was standing at the edge of your desk. In one hand was a bouquet of flowers and in the other was an all too familiar note. Although Ganyu might’ve normally been merely frightened and appalled she now found herself more angry than anything else, and her words were spat out with a vehemence she hadn’t entirely known she’d possessed.

“What in Teyvat do you think you’re doing here?” She asked, voice shaking slightly. The man jolted and turned around, relazing when he saw who it was. That was a mistake.

“Ah it’s the secretary,” His smile was mocking and the way he bobbed his head made it clear he thought nothing of the half-adeptus in front of him. “I was wondering who would catch me eventually. Didn’t expect it to be the Tianquan’s personal servant.”

“Answer my question.” Ganyu spoke once more, completely unfazed by the insults of a man who was so utterly loathsome. “What are you doing here.”

“You’re rather dull aren’t you,” the man’s tone was a dismissive as before, “I didn’t realize this needed any explanation. I think it’s very clear that I’m here to deliver something to this office’s owner.”

“Do you even know their name?” If Ganyu hadn’t been so angered perhaps she would’ve found the man’s expression hilarious. He seemed to be completely malfunctioning.

“Of course I know it!” He finally let out. “It’s written on the plaque outside the door if you’ve forgotten. But I doubt you would. You seem awfully close to them recently.”

“That’s none of your concern.”

“Oh but it is.” The man’s smile was utterly enraging. “They��re very important to me after all.”

“They aren’t even aware of your existence.” Ganyu spat. Approaching closer she drew herself up as tall as she could. “They’d never have anything to do with someone as worthless and creepy as you.”

“What exactly am I doing that’s creepy?” The man backed away slightly, slight panic mixing with defensiveness. “I’m only showing them how much I care for them! What’s wrong with that? You’re just jealous aren’t you. You want them for yourself, don’t you. Well you can’t have them, because they’re mine.”

“They don’t belong to anyone.” Ganyu replied, voice made soft and hoarse from the anger burning in her chest and pounding in her ears. “And if you can’t see that then you’re even worse a person than I thought you could be. You may think them something to possess, and you worthy to possess them; but in reality you’re lower than dirt and they owe you nothing, not even the air you breathe. You should leave now. You may have no respect for privacy, or rank, or profession. But the Liyue Qixing are nowhere close to incompetent. And if you value a life not spend in total societal isolation or, Morax forbid, behind bars, I suggest you never return.”

“You really ought to listen to her.” Your voice was music to Ganyu’s ears after what had just passed. Turning her head slightly she saw you leaning against the door, a grim smile painted across your face. “She’s the person in this office least likely to simple chuck you out the window.”

Gulping slightly the man finally moved. Shooting one last glare at both you and Ganyu he scuttled out into the hallway. Only when she heard the front door close did Ganyu breathe a sigh of relief.

“I’m sorry you had to see that.” She said, flushed with embarrassment and the lingering anger she felt. “I shouldn’t’ve threatened them, or lost my temper like that.”

“You were utterly in your right.” You smiled. “In fact you were quite gallant if I do say so myself!”

“I lost control of myself,” Ganyu shook her head, “I wasn’t thinking about doing the right thing, or protecting you. I wasn’t thinking of anything. I was only angry. Angry and… well I don’t know.”

“Jealous?” You suggested. Flushing, Ganyu glanced at the ground.

“Maybe.” She whispered.

The half-adeptus glanced up in surprise as you wrapped you arms around her. After a while she returned the gesture, and for a while there was simply silence as you two basked in each other’s presence.

“You shouldn’t feel bad about being jealous.” You spoke after a while. “Every feels jealous sometimes, it’s completely normal. And in this case it was positively valiant! Even if you weren’t thinking of me, you still stood up for me. And I couldn’t be more grateful.”

“I lost my temper.” Ganyu was stubborn in her conviction that what she’d done was wrong. Lessons that she’d taught herself about displaying her emotions passed through her thoughts. “It’s not good to be jealous. I’ll only end up pushing you away if I keep losing myself to my emotions.”

“Being jealous is only a problem when it spirals out of control,” you replied, “being offended at the way someone speaks about your partner, or disliking the fact your partner is getting sent weird letters every day is something that any normal person would be jealous about. Even if the person turned out to be such a lout like that one.”

“You aren’t angry?” Ganyu ventured, still skeptical. You drew away slightly so she could see your face. You were smiling brightly.

“Not a bit.”

“Good.” Ganyu smiled back.

You nodded your head. Apparently satisfied you moved to grab the stuff you’d left in the doorway. Still somewhat unsure Ganyu walked over to you.

“Um, can I ask something?”

“Sure!” You replied. “Anything.”

“Um… can you get rid of the rose in your desk?”

You paused for a moment before giggling. Walking over to your desk you took out the offending flower, opening the window and throwing it out onto the lawn.

“There we go.” You turned around. “I’m sorry if that was making you uncomfortable. Tell me next time you’re feeling jealous, alright?”

“Okay.” Ganyu whispered.

Relationships were confusing. So many invisible lines that one might trip over. Still Ganyu would gladly learn where the lines were in regards to you. For she loved you. So very much.

Jean

Jean didn’t like work parties at the best of times, but now it was all she could do not to scream as she watched the young knight next to you begin to break into verse, proclaiming to all the – hopefully blacked out – knights around you that he loved only you.

Normally Jean was pretty dismissive of the antics of her coworkers. Being the Acting Grand Master she saw it as her duty never to be too punishing, always aware not only of the power she held in such a position, but also of the respect that she had garnered, that she had worked tirelessly for. The Knights of Favonius, from the highest ranked captain to the lowest foot soldier, was comprised up of well meaning, enthusiastic workers. Despite all their faults she cared deeply about them all, and could often sidesteps their antics as the result of their camaraderie.

This time however felt different. Even if Jean knew full well that the knight probably meant nothing serious by it, knew that he was simply drunk and having a good time, she still couldn’t help the coil of emotions that wound taught into her stomach. Scowling slightly into her drink she cursed herself. Maybe she was the tipsy one, for only a fool would be jealous in a situation like this.

“Feeling already Grand Master?” Kaeya’s voice was as cheerful and as unassuming as usual, not at all revealing the fact that he should’ve been utterly plastered. Now he simply sat down across from his irritated coworker, taking another swig before glancing over towards what was capturing Jean’s attention.

“What do you want Kaeya?” Jean asked, attempting to steer the conversation away from its obvious ending. Kaeya was currently the only member of the knights who knew of the relationship between the two of you, and though he took that honor very seriously he was also quick to tease, something made only worse by his current state.

“Ah I see what’s going on.” Kaeya smirked, refusing to cooperate. “What’s going on here? A lover’s quarrel perhaps. No. Our dear adventurer seems hardly happy with the situation. What could it be then?” He let out a sudden gasp. “Is our dear knight jealous?”

“Neither they nor I are ‘our dear’ anything.” Jean pointed out, rolling her eyes. “And I’m hardly jealous. Only pitying the poor soul for the embarrassment he’s going to feel tomorrow if he or anyone in his regiment remembers this.”

“Ahh, I see.” Kaeya replied, tone of voice making it plenty obvious that he didn’t believe Jean one bit. Shooting him a dirty look Jean sighed, once more raising the beer she was drinking to her lips. She didn’t much like beer really, but it was sort of the signature drink of Mondstadt – unless you were rich enough to afford Dandelion Wine on the regular, which few were – and Jean felt the compulsion to blend in with those around her in taste and in manner. Although in this case it was becoming difficult to do so.

Was she jealous? Although Jean would like to say surely not she wasn’t so naïve or so optimistic. She knew very well that she was jealous, but there really was no reason to be so. It felt somewhat below her, to be so blatantly upset by this pseudo-flirtation. Wasn’t she more aware, more mature than that? The answer became very clear when the knight stopped his verbal rambling and attempted, somewhat unsuccessfully, to grab your hand.

“Sir Heinrich.” Jean’s voice had taken on the authority that she rarely liked to use in casual company. “Might I ask you to control yourself in the presence of our guest.”

Heinrich, apparently not so drunk as to be unable to read the now somewhat tense room, immediately and somewhat dramatically, snapped into attention. “G-Grand Master Jean! Yes, of course! I’m so sorry.” Bowing quickly he promptly burst into tears and, proclaiming that he’d betrayed his Grand Master, was dragged outside by some friends, hopefully to sleep off his inebriation.

The tone of the party quickly returned to its jovial origins, anyone still in attendance at 3:00 was either Jean, you, Kaeya, or too drunk to care about what had just happened. Jean, however, was somewhat surprised, and extremely embarrassed, by her sudden outburst. Sinking down on the stool next to you she put her head in her hands.

“I’m going to have to apologize for that tomorrow.” She sighed. Glancing over towards you she reached out her hand, which you quickly took, palm sliding gently into hers. “I’m sorry about that.”

“Don’t be! I don’t mind a bit of flattery, but that was becoming… a bit much.” You let out a giggle, the glass next to you an indicator that you were probably a bit tipsy yourself. “Besides, you’re very cute when you’re jealous.”

“I’m not jealous!” Jean scoffed, blushing slightly. “You and Kaeya I swear, incorrigible.”

“How am I not surprised he picked up on it too,” you laughed, smiling fondly. “I don’t mind it, at least not in cases like this. By all means, be as jealous as you want.”

“I’m not jealous.” Jean insisted, shaking her head violently.

Laughing you leaned over and gave her a quick kiss on the head, ignoring the scandalized gasps from the remaining crowd.

“Whatever you say, my dear knight in shining armor.”

Jean let out a nervous giggle. What was she going to do with you, now that she loved you so much.

Keqing

Keqing wanted to make it very clear that she never became jealous. Absolutely not, under no circumstances.

She had more respect for herself after all, more respect for you. It was below your relationship to be worried over something such as jealousy, and Keqing for her part resolved never to lower herself to such a level, even if you were somewhat more dismissive of the idea than she was.

“Jealousy is an emotion,” you explained when she asked you why you were so cavalier in regards to the notion, “and since I know both you and I are hardly likely to spin out of control if it were to happen, I don’t really find the idea repulsive.”

“You’re very strange.” Had been all Keqing could respond, not wanting to argue with you about it. It would never happen anyhow. No point in fighting about it.

Now Keqing was somewhat regretting that statement as she watched the woman next to you chatter away while she stood, still as a rock, trying desperately to bite back the retorts that were running through her mind at everything this random lady was telling you.

“It really is such a pleasure to see you again!” You smiled at the woman, some friend of yours and, from what Keqing gathered, a long forgotten one at that. “It’s really been too long.”

“I agree!” The woman replied eagerly, her smile so syrupy that Keqing was surprised it wasn’t melting in the sun. “We really must go out for coffee and catch up.”

“Absolutely!” You nodded, ignoring the stare that Keqing was now focusing on you. “Maybe sometime in the summer?”

“Sounds like a plan! Now excuse me, I have to go.” The woman smiled. Nodding towards Keqing, evidently she wasn’t completely oblivious, she waved before walking away. Waving back you turned around towards your partner, a smile on your face.

“Thanks for stopping for me, I realize that took a little while.”

“It was nothing.” Keqing’s voice was sharp and flat, and she ignored your puzzled look as she turned back towards the Qixing headquarters, determined to forget this entire conversation, and the dark emotions it had managed to dredge up.

The rest of the day was somewhat quiet, though Keqing could tell you wanted to talk about your old friend. She knew that she was being exceedingly rude by ignoring your cues, but she couldn’t help it. The whole situation made her uncomfortable, and she didn’t know how to process that. If she admitted it you’d just chock it up to jealousy and not only would she feel somewhat invalidated, but she’d have to deal with the knowledge that all her boasting had been for nothing. Or, to be more explicit, that she’d been wrong.

“Want to have dinner together?” Keqing glanced at the clock on her desk. The day had long ended, and now it was just the two of you.

“Gladly.” She smiled at you, getting up from her chair. “I’m sorry for making you wait.”

“No worries!” You waved your hand. “I wanted to spend some time with you anyways.” Unlike you did earlier today? Keqing bit the retort back. It would be cruel to say that, and somewhat revealing. Besides she really did want to walk home with you, and wouldn’t taint the experience with her own emotional turmoil.

The walk was a lovely one, for the day had been somewhat hot and now a cool breeze brought in by the sea blew lazily. You were discussing one of the transactions you’d had to check, when Keqing spied your friend up ahead. Before she could change your course the lady noticed the two of you however. Calling your name she waved her hand wildly. Distracted from your conversation you waved back, running up ahead and leaving Keqing behind in the dust.

“Fancy meeting you here again!” You exclaimed. “I was just walking home from work.”

“I was stopping by one of the stalls.” Your friend gestured towards the temporary structure behind her. “I forgot to buy groceries, so I suppose it’s grilled Tiger Fish tonight.”

“It happens to the best of us.” You laughed. Keqing couldn’t stand the atmosphere anymore. The conversation was insipid, the participant who’d brought it up even more so. Unable to stop her frustration Keqing walked, or rather stomped, over towards you. Huffing slightly she grabbed your hand. Turning around your face betrayed surprise, but it was quickly replaced once more with a smile. “Ah, I almost forgot. Lily, this is Keqing!”

“Oh, a pleasure to meet you!” The woman, Lily apparently, smiled. “Are you coworkers?” Keqing felt a flicker of resentment at not being directly addressed. Surely she didn’t need a translator.

“My partner.” You corrected, smiling and squeezing Keqing’s hand, something which did little to relieve the tension she felt.

“I see.” Your friend smiled her saccharine smile. “Nice to meet you Keqing.”

“Pleasure.” Keqing replied, not bothering to keep the irritation out of her voice, after all wasn’t she known for being blunt? “Now we really ought to get going, if we aren’t going to be eating in the middle of the night.”

“Sorry for dashing on you,” you apologized, something which Keqing deemed completely unnecessary. “See you around.”

“See you around!” Lily replied. As she turned back to the stall Keqing started moving again, half dragging you through the streets and to her apartment.

Finally arriving home Keqing breathed a sigh of relief. This, however, was quite short lived.

“What was that all about?” There was amusement in your voice, and though Keqing was glad you didn’t seem irritated with her, she certainly wasn’t happy about the mischief in your smile.

“It was getting late.” She replied curtly. “I’d rather not be cooking dinner in the dark.”

“Are you sure that’s it?” Your voice was slightly sing-song and Keqing rolled her eyes, knowing immediately where this was going.

“Of course, what other reason could there possibly be?”

“I don’t know, maybe you were a little jealous?” You shrugged your shoulders dramatically. Keqing tensed for a moment, before shaking her head.

“Why in Teyvat would I be jealous? After all, they’re just a friend.” Although she hadn’t meant to emphasize that last bit Keqing couldn’t help but feel somewhat irritated. It was just a friend, she was sure of that, sure of you. And yet it had irritated her. It had irritated her intensely. And what was that but jealousy?

“Of course they are.” You smiled gently. “They’re just a friend and you’re just the person I love. But Keqing?”

“Yes?” Keqing found her voice somewhat unsure.

“I don’t mind if you’re a little jealous. As long as you never doubt my affections for you, then it’s okay to be a little selfish. Okay?”

There was a pause, before Keqing walked over to you, wrapping you into a tight hug and burying her face in your neck. Drawing back slightly she pressed a soft and somewhat impatient kiss to your lips.

“Are you sure?” She asked, pulling away once more.

“Very sure.” You replied, before leaning in to kiss her in turn.

Keqing was glad to be carried away by the content feeling of being in the embrace of one’s love. She found today incredibly embarrassing and just wanted to forget the whole matter. And she knew you’d let that happen, for even if Keqing felt irritated, even if she resented your friend for accosting you and not leaving you alone she still trusted you more than anything.

And that was what counted.

[kyoongboxi]

Beyond My Reach —

[Baekhyun AU]

——

<< Interlude

Exam weeks is finally over on Friday. You are planning to clear your minds by hanging out somewhere with your friends but two days ago your mother texted you that you should comeback early to your parents house because your brother's wife expecting their first child soon and your mother wants all of the family members to be there. You sighed because you wouldn't dare to say no to her. But at least you still have the night time left before finally leaving the dorm for around two months starting from tomorrow.

You brushed your hair away from your face when a car passed in front of you caused by a gushed of wind that ruffling your hair a little. You were now heading against some restaurants with a bag full of soft drinks gripped between your fingers. Drinking or more like get drunk was never really you. Your alcohol tolerance was really that low so you wouldn't take any risk of it and buy a soft drinks instead. It was around seven p.m when you felt your phone buzzed in your pocket. You lazily unlocked your phone because you already know who is it. 

Where's my food? I'm so hungry i think i'm gonna die from a hunger if you didn't come in any second.. T^T ..hungry.. My poor belly...

Baekhyun. Your boy, your everyth— friends. He texted you exactly three hours ago that he wanted to see you. He said he missed you because exam weeks drives you insane and you didn't have time to meet him. Maybe things works easier for the guy because he is a genius. Yeah. A genius. Even with those round glasses hanging perfectly against his nose, he's not that guy whose into reading, studying, making some journals, no. He was just born clever. He is also the guy who hanging around a lot. He got a lot of friends and women attracted to him. Of course. He was handsome. 

And you remember, the first time he went drinking, and it was also the first time you found out that his alcohol tolerance is low. He got wasted. One of his friends called you that night. He said Baekhyun might need someone to watch him for the rest of the night because he literally passed out outside his door. You came right away and found the guy sprawled out against the couch. His round glasses was off his face, eyes half closed, mouth half parted. He just adorable. 

"You know what? I just realized you look so pretty from this angle" 

What?

"No, Baek— You're drunk. C'mon lets get you to bed" You positioned yourself in front of him and trying to take off his jacket without looking at his face. You didn't pay attention to his words that much because he did called you pretty multiple times and you felt nothing about it. That's it until he suddenly pulled your wrist harshly so you were falling on top of him. 

Eyes went wide, you could almost feel his warm breath against your face because he was too close. He looked at you with those drunken gaze, eyes droopy probably from the alcohol. "Wish we weren't friends so I could kiss you everytime I like" He chuckled softly before he loosened his grip around your wrist. You quickly pulled your hand away and straightened your position. And then you feel it. Something that you have never felt before. Was it a cringe feeling? Warmth? Love? Scared? You were unsure and you never think about that again until now.

You were pulled back harshly into the reality because the cashier's voice startled you in your seat. She says she has called your name multiple times and thought you were gone already. You let out an awkward laugh and apologized before finally took a leave. It was ridiculous that you were thinking about an event you promised you'd never think again. You realized that you can't fall in love with him because it would be so awkward.

After ten minutes walk from the restaurant, you finally stood outside his dorm with two bags gripped between your fingers. There was something inside your heart that stopped you from rushed in and sharing some bear hug. But you didn't know what is that neither. It does bother you because you feel like you just missed this boy, you really do. You just wanna laugh around with him again, listening to his unnecessary joke just like what you always did on high school. But it seems like a barrier between you and him started to grow in the past year. Things does change and you're trying so hard to accept it. 

You inhaled some air to fill in before typed the pass code lock and stepped inside. He never changed his pass code lock from the day he moved in. He also decided to tell you what is the pass code because you're his closest friends. Once you're inside, it was rather quiet and his handsomeness was nowhere to be found. You're assuming that he was probably in his room playing his favorite games so you headed towards the kitchen right away.

You were about to take out the food from the bag when your phone suddenly rang loudly inside your pocket. Wasting no time, you put your phone against your ear without seeing who is calling while your other hand continue to prepare for the food. 

"Hello this is me speaking.." 

"Hey sweetheart!" A melodious voice greeted you from another side. You could tell the voice was belong to your mother because she always have that little excitement somewhere in the way she talked. "What's wrong mom?"

"Could you come home before noon tomorrow? I'm sorry I feel like— I miss you so much. To be honest I'm kinda worried about you... I don't know why though. What are you up to?" Hearing those words from your mother, you pulled your hand away from the food.

"Got it. I'm—I'm about to eat mom. I'm okay. Don't worry about—" You immediately stopped talking when you feel a presence and something pressed against your butt. Baekhyun.

He put his mug against your butt guiding you to moved away. Just another Baekhyun thing. "Move I wanna get drink"

You quickly moved away and turned around to see the boy bringing his mug into his lips. He was wearing his usual black shirt paired with a sweatpants. Meanwhile his hair is still a little wet from the shower. "Sweetheart? You alright?" 

Right. Even your brain couldn't deny the fact that you missed this boy because it made you forget that you're currently in a call with your mother. "Ah sorry— I'm about to eat. Call you later?"

You were that close to pressed the red button and ended the call until Baekhyun lowered his head against your phone. "Yeah she was about to eat me hurry baby I'm getting impatient"

But thankfully you were quick to react. You pressed the red button and finally ended the call. You shove him hard right against the shoulder caused him to stumbled a bit with a sweet laugh coming from his lips. "C'mon lets eat" He then left the kitchen with the food in his hands without saying another words.

You shook your head and simply following him into the small living room. Baekhyun rarely eat on the kitchen bar because he said he couldn't leaned back when he sit on the high chair. "How's your exam? Good?" He questioned with a mouth full of noodles.

You began to eat softly without looking at him. He also turned the tv on before he starts eating. A random news channel was played in the background and you wasn't really pay attention to it because the cute and handsome guy beside you who was now eating, enjoying his food was the reason. You just can't think straight. Maybe avoiding him for the next month seems like a good plan. "Good" You answered softly.

"You know" He leaned forward while his fingers snatched the soft drink on the table in front of you. He was too close for a second. You could smell his fresh woody scent and it only takes you back into your high school time where he sing his heart out for you on the backyard and pulled you into an embrace for the first time because you were crying. 

"There was a girl.. A new one probably.. She confessed to me. Like she really walking up to me with a chocolate bar and some cute letter in her hand" He took a gulp from his can. 

He was known as a talented, cute, handsome and that hot guy in round glasses after he participated in a music festival last year. It also wasn't the first time he had someone confessed to him. You knew that already. "Was she cute?" You found yourself questioned him again. 

"Kinda.. But you know what" He put his can down on the table and looking into your direction searching for you in the eyes. "She ran away after that.. And—" You finally drew your attention to him and noticed he was holding back his laugh. His expression was too obvious for you. "And— oh God I'm kinda feel bad for this"

You also put down your spoon and raising one of your eyebrow. You were ready to hear his  another unnecessary joke because he never fails you to makes you laugh. "She slipped" 

This time, it wasn't a laugh that escaped your lungs. Your eyes widened immediately as the words finally rolled out his tongue. He wasn't joking this time. "No.. For real? Why didn't you tell me this earlier?" 

"God— she slipped two times. I—I was trying to help her—" And then thats it. A deep hearty laughter that you haven't heard for a long time and you've missed echoing against your ears. He was never really changed.

"I was trying to help her for real but she shoved me away and— she slipped again" He trying to explain everything with his hands between his laughter. The next second he got up from his seat and trying to demonstrate how the girl slipped. 

"She was like— slipped or tripped over her own feet before falling down against the floor. Her expression was like—" He then widened his eyes and leaving his mouth wide open before finally bursting out into another laugh. Your giggles also turned into a loud laugh because of his silly expression.

Baekhyun went back to his seat beside you still half laughing. Your fingers immediately went to his arm, clutching into him tightly while your forehead rested against his shoulder for a support because you were the person who had to clinging into something when you laugh and he knew it since high school time. The laughter last long for about two minutes because your boy keep making a sound that escaped his lips when he was trying to stop his laughter.

And when Baekhyun's arm draped around your waist, your laugh suddenly died down and you shifted away from him slowly hoping he wouldn't notice. No. You didn't like the way he touched you because his touch is burning and lingering a little longer against your skin. No. 

Both of you continued to eat in silence. Only the voice of the news anchor against the tv break the silence in a steady tone. Baekhyun hold his spoon between his fingers on the right hand meanwhile his thumb on the other hand busy scrolling through his phone. You were done with your food and took a glance against him. His eyes was focused on the screen with his mouth still chewing.

This isn't the first time you've spent your dinner time with Baekhyun. It would always end up with him rested his head on your lap with your fingers playing with his hair or simply brushed it away from his eyes and listening to him babbling for an hour before drifted off into a slumber. A sight of him sleeping never fails to warm your heart.

You grab the remote tv and tore your gaze away from him into the screen. Switching the channel up and down hoping you would find some movies worth to watch. But instead of finding a movie to watch, you found him stood up abruptly with his eyes still locked to his phone.

"What happened? You alright?"

"Malia.. She accidentally eating something with a peanut in it. I—I should go check on her she's in a hospital right now"

Malia. Malia. Malia. That was the name you heard for the first time exactly one year ago right after the music festival was held. She was pretty. Prettier than you, you admitted that. She was also a clever one. Then you found out that you and her are in the same major. And you didn't really remember how this Malia girl become a lot closer to your friend. They started to hanging out multiple times after that. You? Of course you didn't mind at all.

Also you noticed that Malia trying so hard to be your friend and started to ask anything about him. What he likes, how is his type, what did he do in his spare time. You? You answered all of her questions because you didn't see that coming. 

"Oh.. Okay then" He was rushing into his room to grab some hoodie and a car key when you stood up as well. This is the first time you saw him so worried again over someone after a long time. He took multiple steps quickly towards the door without even looking at you and saying another words. 

You didn't. You didn't see that coming until you saw it with your on eyes on Tuesday afternoon. You were beyond excited because you finally found the book that he recommended to you last month. You couldn't hold your smile that keep creeping into your lips as your feet dragged you towards his dorm. You typed the pass code lock as fast as you can and rushed inside.

You were expecting that he would probably sleeping or gaming in his room but you were wrong. Him, Baekhyun, was kissing a girl on the lips lovingly against the couch. Malia. She was sitting right on his lap with her fingers disappeared somewhere against his hair. Baekhyun, he even had both of his eyes closed enjoying the sparks between two of them. And it was also the time you feel a weird feeling that you couldn't describe. A heartbreak? What for? 

Deep inside, you know this is so wrong. You were just his friend and you didn't have the rights to controlling him thats why avoiding him for a while sounds like the best solution. He was in his happiest state with her, Malia. What kind of friend you are if you dare to take his smile and happiness away?

You weren't expecting that when Baekhyun rushed back in towards the living room where you still haven't moved a bit from your position. His eyes filled with concern when it drifted against yours. "I—I'll be back in an hour—"

"I'll just leave as well, Baekhyun. I'm going home tomorrow. I'll clean this up and leave right after" You turned your head against him. Answering quietly because you were unsure why it suddenly become so hard to speak. 

He simply nodded and you watched his back disappearing from your sight so quickly. Now you could feel your eyes burning hot. Your fingers when to your chest because it feels like it so hard to breathe. You closed your eyes trying to control your breathing because oh fuck you loved this boy but it was too late. Its all too late for now. You have lied to your feelings for a long time. And that was also the time you realized, he is already beyond— your reach.

[babypandawrites]

Allies, Pt. 6

The Fortune Teller

Pairing: Sokka x F Reader Warnings: None Word Count: 4,530 Summary: Meeting Aunt Wu and getting your fortune told by her definitely does not make you come to any realizations at the end of the day. None at all. 

-Navigation- | -Allies Masterlist- | -Atla Masterlist- 

Sitting a bit away from the rest of the group, Y/n leaned her back against a rock settled on the lake shore. She held a small handmade leather bound journal in her hands, finger tips tracing along the cover. She hummed to herself, squinting at the cover. “Maybe just a small peak…”  “Look!”  Her head snapped up, looking at the others, then looking in the direction Katara had been pointing. She’d been pointing out to the water, where a green catfish jumped from the water before landing back in it. Y/n tucked the journal away.  “He is taunting us… You are so going to be dinner!” As Sokka ran to get his fishing pole, she got up and joined the group.  Sokka tried to cast the pole a few times, but nothing happened. “Hey! Where’s the fishing line.”  “Oh, I didn’t think you would need it, Sokka.” Aang held up the fishing line, it had been twisted into something.  “Aang, it’s all tangled!” “Not tangled- woven .” He airbended a gust of air to push him to his feet, and turned to Katara. “I made you a necklace, Katara. I thought since you lost your other one…” Trailing off, he smiled sheepishly and held out the homemade necklace to Katara. She took it from him.  “Thanks, Aang. I love it.”  Y/n got her bow from where it sat next to the tent, and pulled an arrow from the quiver before joining Sokka at the shore line. He had tossed his fishing pole into the water like a spear, only for it to disappear.  “Stop taunting me!”  She looked at him with an amused expression. “Sokka, I can catch-” Holding up his hand he cut her off. “No! No, I got this.” He drew out his knife, and lunged into the water, trying to catch the fish with it. Her and Aang both watched his antics in amusement.  “So, how do I look?”  Y/n turned back to look at Katara. The girl had put on the necklace Aang gave her, and while Y/n was pretty sure the question hadn’t been directed at her, she still gave her a thumbs up.  “You mean all of you or just your neck? I mean, uh, both look great.”  She raised her eyebrows at Aang. That kid was not very good at hiding his crush. Sokka got out of the lake, holding the fish he had caught as if about to kiss it.  “Smoochie, smoochie, someone’s in love.” The fish flipped around in his hands, knocking him back into the lake and earning a laugh from Y/n.  Aang rubbed at his head in an embarrassed manner. “I… well…”  “Stop teasing him, Sokka.” Katara gave her brother an annoyed look. “Aang’s just a good friend. A sweet little guy- just like Momo.”  “Thanks.” He was clearly put down by her words.  Y/n rested a comforting hand on his shoulder, as a soaking wet Sokka approached the group. He was empty handed, and looked quite upset about it.

At a sound in the distance, Momo flew off in it’s direction. Aang used his airbending to join the lemur atop a large rock. He pointed to the source of the noise. “Someone’s being attacked by a platypus bear!” He jumped off the rock, presumably down to where the attack was taking place.  Sokka and Katara ran off in the direction Aang pointed, as Y/n grabbed her quiver to put on her back, before quickly joining them. The three joined Aang, as a man calmly dodged attacks from the platypus bear. Aang, Katara and Sokka were trying to give advice to the man about how to evade the bear, but he brushed them off, claiming everything would be fine. Appa ended up scaring the platypus bear by roaring at it, not only making it run away but also making it drop an egg.  Sokka went to pick up the egg. “Mmm! Lunch!” He sniffed the egg, before looking at the man. “Lucky for you we came along.”  “Thanks, but everything was already under control. Not to worry, Aunt Wu predicted I’d have a safe journey.” The man put his hands together in a position of prayer and bowed slightly.  “Aunt who?” Aang questioned.  “No, Aunt Wu. She’s the fortune teller from my village. Awfully nice knowing your future.”  Katara looked amazed. “Wow, it must be. That explains why you were so calm.”  “But the fortune teller was wrong! You didn’t have a safe journey, you were almost killed.” “I think us showing up is what made it a safe journey actually, Sokka.”  “The girl has a point. All right, have a good one!” The man gave a wave goodbye to the group, and began walking away, but he turned back again. “Oh, and Aunt Wu said if I met any travelers to give them this.” He handed Aang a long, thin wrapped object and walked away.  “Maybe we should go see Aunt Wu and learn our fortunes. It could be fun.” Katara looked between her friends as she spoke her suggestion.  Sokka waved off his sister's suggestion. “Oh come on, fortune telling is nonsense.”  Glancing between the two siblings, Y/n offered a small shrug. “Even if it is nonsense, it could still be fun.”  “See! Y/n gets it! Kinda.”  “What do ya know, an umbrella!” The three looked over to Aang, who had unwrapped the wrapped up object, which was clearly an umbrella. The sky abruptly darkened as rain began to pour down. Katara smiled, and waterbended the rain into an arch above her head to avoid getting wet. “That proves it.” She ran to join Aang under the opened umbrella.  Y/n found herself joining the two, trying to fit under the umbrella space as well. Sokka held the egg above his head. “No it doesn’t, you can’t really tell the future.” “I guess you’re not really getting wet then.” 

The four walked down the road. Aang, Katara and Y/n were dry under the umbrella while Sokka was getting soaking again from walking in the rain.  “Of course she predicted it was gonna rain. The sky’s been gray all day.”  “Just admit you might be wrong and you can come under the umbrella.”  Y/n nodded at Katara’s words. “The umbrella life is pretty nice, I really recommend it.”  He looked at them blankly. “Look, I’m going to predict the future now.” Sokka made a bunch of funny movements and noises, before speaking in an exaggerated voice.. “It’s going to keep drizzling.” He crossed his arms over his chest. “See!” The rain instantly stopped, and the sun came out.  “Not everyone has the gift, Sokka.” Aang closed the umbrella as he spoke.  Appa came up on the group, passing Sokka, he shook out his fur causing the boy to be drenched more. 

Soon, they came across a village sat atop a snowy mountain. When they entered through the gates of the village a herald dressed in black greeted them.  “Aunt Wu is expecting you.”  “Really?” Though it was something simple, it still seemed to amaze Katara in a way.  The group followed the man as he led them to a building, closing the door once all four were inside. There were four sitting pillows placed on the ground. A young girl dressed in a pink kimono with her hair tied into large braids entered the room.  “My name is Meng and I’m Aunt Wu’s assistant.” The girl seemed to take a quick interest in Aang. “Well hello there.”  He rubbed his nose. “Hello.”  Y/n took a seat on one of the pillows, Aang and Katara joining her.  “Can I get you some tea, or some of Aunt Wu’s special bean curd puffs?”  Sokka sat down as well. “I’ll try a curd puff.”  “Just a second.” Meng bent down to address Aang. “So what’s your name?”  “Aang.” “That rhymes with Meng! And you’ve got some pretty big ears, don’t you?”  “Uh… I guess..” Aang seemed confused, rightfully so.  “Oh, don’t be so modest. They’re huge!” Sokka spread out his arms wide.  Y/n elbowed him in the side, as Aang looked at him angrily.  “Well Aang, it is very nice to meet you. Very nice.”  “Likewise.”  Meng exited the room, leaving the four by themselves.  “I can’t believe we’re here in the house of nonsense.”  “Try to keep an open mind, Sokka. There are things in this world that just can’t be explained. Wouldn’t it be nice to have some insight into your future?”  “It would be nice to have some bean curd puffs.”  Katara seemed annoyed by her brother, and his disbelief. Y/n rested her chin in her hands, and looked over to her.  “You really believe in this stuff don’t you, Katara?”  “You don’t?” She offered a small shrug. “Not particularly. It’s just assumptions and intuition.”  Katara looked at her with a blank expression. “You really agree with Sokka?”  “I don’t think it’s nonsense.” “But, you don’t believe in it?”  “I just don’t think it’s some magical ability, there’s logic set behind it that mostly consists of guesses.”  As Katara rolled her eyes, a woman walked into the room. “Welcome young travelers.” This must be Aunt Wu. “Now, who’s next? Don’t be shy.”  Aang, Y/n and Sokka all being disinterested, Katara stood up. “I guess that’s me.”  She walked away following Aunt Wu into another room. Sokka was chowing down on the curd puffs they were given.  “Not bad. Not bad. Mmmm!” He offered some to Aang, who declined. Y/n grabbed one from the tray when he offered them to her. Her nose wrinkled when he tried it, they weren’t really her cup of tea.  Aang looked between the two. “So… what do you think they’re talking about back there?”  “Boring stuff, I’m sure. Love. Who she’s going to marry. How many babies she’s gonna have.” Sokka shrugged as he spoke, eating another curd puff.  “Yeah… dumb stuff like that…” Aang bit at his fingernails. “Well, I’ve gotta find a bathroom!” He jumped up and ran off.  Y/n raised an eyebrow. “What’s his deal?”  Sokka stretched out over Aang and Katara’s pillows. “Probably going to listen to my sisters dumb palm reading.” “Makes sense.” 

After a few minutes Aang came back, clearly pleased by whatever he heard. “Looks like someone had a pretty good bathroom break.” “Yeah, when I was in there-” Sokka cut him off. “I don’t wanna know!”  Aunt Wu and Katara walked back out. The woman looked between the three. “Who’s next?”  “Okay, let’s get this over with.” Sokka pushed himself to his feet.  “Your future is full of struggle and anguish, most of it self-inflicted.”  “But, you didn’t read my palms or anything!” “I don’t need to- It’s written all over your face.”  Y/n held back a laugh. “Um, I can go.”  Aunt Wu looked over her for a short moment, before nodding. “Follow me.”  She got up from her seat, and followed the woman off into the room Katara had been in prior. The two sat down across from each other. Aunt Wu carefully grabbed onto her hand, and looked over her palm.  “Is there anything you’d like to know?”  “Uh…” Y/n thought for a short moment. “I’m.. not sure?”  “How about we take a look at your love line.”  “Alright.”  The woman traced her finger tip along her palm. “You will have a difficult and tragic love. Many things will go wrong, and there is no guarantee of reconciliation.”  She grimaced. “That sounds…”  “Horrible? It will be.”  “Um… Is there anything else you're seeing..?”  Aunt Wu hummed for a short moment. “I can see… where your soulmate is from. The Water Tribe.”  “Wa-Water Tribe..? Southern or Northern?!”  “That I don’t know. Though I can see you will care for several children in your future.”  “Oh. Can you.. See anything about my future in general?”  “Let’s see… Things will get worse, before they get better. Secrets will only harm you in the long run.”  She gulped.  “That is all.” 

After Aang’s reading, the group left.  “Well, now you got to see for yourselves that fortunetelling is just a big, stupid hoax.”  Katara rolled her eyes at her brother. “You’re just saying that because you’re going to make yourself unhappy your whole life.” “That woman is crazy! My life will be calm! And happy! And joyful!” Sokka got more upset with each word he spoke. He kicked a small rock off the ground, causing it to ricochet off a nearby sigh and hit him on the head knocking him back. “Ow! That doesn’t prove anything!” Y/n helped him off the ground. “If talking to that woman told me anything, it’s that she’s speaking nonsense.”  “You just didn’t like what you were told.”  She looked at Katara with a blank expression. “Clearly.” Her tone was sarcastic.  “Well, I liked my predictions. Certain things are going to turn out very well.” Katara clasped her hands together.  “They sure are.”  “Why, what did she tell you?”  Aang offered a smile to Katara. “Some stuff. You’ll find out.”  They all approach a large crowd that’s gathered at the center of the village square. Most of the people in the crowd stood in silence, looking up at the sky.  Katara looked up as well. “What’s with the sky?” “We are waiting for Aunt Wu to come and read the clouds to predict the fate of the whole village.” One of the men in the crowd offered the answer.  “The whole village?” Y/n looked at the man oddly when he nodded. “Interesting…” Weird stuff.  Aang pointed up. “That cloud looks like a fluffy bunny.” “You better hope that’s not a bunny- The fluffy bunny cloud forecast doom and destruction.”  “Do you even hear yourself?”  The man looked at Sokka with an annoyed expression. A woman from the crowd took a step towards them.  “The cloud reading will tell us if Mount Makapu will remain dormant for another year or if it will erupt.”  “We used to have a tradition once a year of going up the mountain to check the volcano ourselves, but ever since Aunt Wu moved to the village twenty years ago we have a tradition of not doing that.”  Sokka’s expression twisted to a mix of confusion and outrage. “I can’t believe you would trust your lives to that crazy old woman’s superstition.”  “Seriously…”  Katara shushed the two. “She’s coming!”  Aunt Wu walked down and through the crowd, getting up to the stage that had been set up. She gave out several predictions, all of which pleased the village members to hear, one of which included that the volcano would not erupt this year.”  Scoffing, Sokka gently elbowed Y/n in the side. “You think she’s crazy too, right?”  “Well,” Pausing, she turned her head to look at him. Your soulmate is from the Water Tribe. “Yeah, definitely. She’s talking nonsense.” She breathed out a nervous laugh. “I’m gonna go see what Katara is up to uh- See you later!”  Y/n turned fast on her heel and rushed off. 

Arms crossed over her chest, Y/n paced in the space in front of Appa. The bison was laying on the ground, just outside the village gates. He let out a grunt. She halted in her steps, looking over to him.  “You’re right, I’m stressing out about this way too much. I mean, why am I even freaking out? Aunt Wu’s predictions are just nonsense, right? You think they’re nonsense too don’t you, Appa?”  Her eyebrows furrowed together as he grunted. “No, they have to be nonsense. There’s no way that Sokka could be my soulmate, that’s ridiculous. Right?”  Appa gave another grunt, she frowned. “You’re not making me feel better here, Appa.”  Sighing, she began pacing again. “Maybe I should talk to her again? I know, I know, I said her prediction’s are nonsense, but in the case they aren’t … She didn’t tell me if my soulmate was from the Southern Water Tribe or the Northern Water Tribe, if I get another reading maybe she can pick that up…”  The bison grunted again, causing Y/n to look at him with an offended expression. “You could at least pretend to agree with me! This is why I take my issues to Momo, he’s much better at this than you!” Pausing she reached a hand out and patted his head. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that. You’re definitely the better advice animal, Appa. You’re right, I’m just being crazy, it doesn’t matter. Thanks for the help Appa, I’m gonna go find the others now.”  As she walked back into the village, Y/n scoffed. “I’m being crazy? Ridiculous, Appa is clearly the crazy one here…”  Approaching Aunt Wu’s house, Y/n gave Aang a confused stare as he shouted something at a walking away Katara.  “You good there bud?”  Surprised by her sudden appearance, Aang jumped slightly. “Huh- Yeah. I’m fine.” He narrowed his eyes at her. “Are you okay, Y/n? You were acting kind of weird earlier.” “Wh-! I was not acting weird. I don’t act weird!” She pointed an accusatory finger at him. “You’re acting weird!”  “Uh-huh… You’re not here to get another reading, are you? Didn’t you say Aunt Wu was speaking nonsense?”  Gulping, she looked to the side nervously. “I’m not! And she is!” As if on cue, the front door was opened, Aunt Wu standing on the other side. “I knew you would be coming back eventually.”  Aang gave her a look.  “Shut up.” Y/n turned quickly, and shuffled into the building.  “You would like for your question from before to be answered, is that right?” Aunt Wu asked, as the two entered her fortune telling room.  “Well uh-” Y/n breathed out a sigh, looking to the ground shamefully. “Yeah.”  The woman led her over to an urn, it had been filled with bones. “Let’s try something else this time, pick one.” She motioned to the urn.  Y/n looked at it for a moment, before picking one. They sat down, and she threw the bone into the fire when Aunt Wu instructed her too. The bone started to crack, small gaps forming in it. “Let’s see what it says.” Aunt Wu leaned closer to the fire, observing them. “The answer to your question, I’m still not seeing. But I can see that you will reunite with a family member soon.”  “You’re sure? There’s nothing about it at all?”  Another crack formed in the bone. “Ah… here it is. He will be from the Southern Tribe.”  “The Southern Tribe…” Y/n was quick to push herself up to her feet. “I see well uh- thank you.” She bolted out of the house, uttering a quick apology to Katara when she shoved past her.  Yeah, no. That woman was crazy! That couldn’t be true, there was no way- Y/n grunted, as she aggressively ran into somebody. She stumbled a bit, but was able to steady herself.  “Ah- Sorry about t-” Realizing who she ran into, she’d cut herself off. “Oh wow, look at that, I have to go!” She turned and was ready to rush off, but a firm grip on her arm stopped her.  “Woah- Wait! We need to find Katara and warn everyone. The volcano is going to erupt.”  A very obvious wave of relief washed over her, as she turned to look at Sokka. “The volcano is going to erupt? So- Aunt Wu was wrong?”  Aang and Sokka shared a look, before both offered a nod in confirmation. She breathed out a sigh of relief. “Thank spirits… I mean- Not about the volcano thing that’s really bad but the Aunt- You know what nevermind, we need to get going and warn everybody!”  As she started to walk away, Aang leaned closer to Sokka. “You think she’s acting weird, right?”  “Definitely.”  “Are you two coming or not?!” 

The three found Katara, waiting outside of Aunt Wu’s door, which wasn’t exactly a surprise to any of them.  Aang offered her a small wave of greeting. “Hi, Katara.”  “Can you believe she won’t let me in? And after all the business I’ve given her?”  Y/n raised an eyebrow at the girl. “But, she doesn’t even charge.”  “I know, but still.”  “Well, we have other things to worry about. Aunt Wu was wrong about the volcano.” Sokka stepped into the conversation, causing Katara to look at him with an expression of annoyance and doubt. “Sokka, you tried to convince me she was wrong before. It’s going to take an awful lot to change my min-”  She was cut off but the rumbling sound of the mountain erupting to life, smoke started to raise from the top of it.  “Oh no!”  The group rushed to the town square, to warn the villagers. They were able to get the villagers attention, and now stood with several people surrounding them.  “Everyone! That volcano is gonna blow any second. Aunt Wu was wrong!” Sokka tried to warn the crowd, but they didn’t seem to be buying it. “Yeah, yeah, we know you don’t believe in Aunt Wu, ‘Mr, Science and Reason Lover’.”  Y/n let out a groan. “This isn’t about belief! It’s about fact, and the fact is that volcano is going to blow!” “Yeah, we know you don’t believe in Aunt Wu either.”  Slapping her palm to her forehead, she sighed. “These people are idiots.”  “If you won’t listen to them, maybe you’ll listen to me. I want to believe Aunt Wu and her predictions as you do, but my brother and Aang saw the lava with their own eyes.” The villagers didn’t even listen to Katara’s warning and reason.  “Well I heard Aunt Wu’s prediction with my own ears.”  Aang airbended himself up onto the roof of Aunt Wu’s house. “Please listen to us! You are all in danger! And we have to get out of here. You can’t rely on Aunt Wu’s prediction. You have to take fate into your own hands.”  An explosion came from the volcano, Sokka pointed in it’s direction. “Look! Can your fortune telling explain that?”  “Can your science explain why it rains?”  “Yes! Yes it can!”  The crowd wasn’t convinced, and ended up dispersing back to their homes. Y/n pinched the bridge of her nose as they left, shaking her head. Katara breathed out a sigh. “They just won’t listen to reason.”  “But they will listen to Aunt Wu.” Aang spoke up, landing back on the ground with them.  Sokka’s eyebrows furrowed together. “I know, that’s the problem.”  “Well, it’s about to become the solution. We’re taking fate in our own hands. First, I need to borrow Aunt Au’s cloud reading book.” 

With the plan set, they each did their own part to make it happen. While Aang snuck into Aunt Wu’s house to get her cloud reading book, Y/n, Sokka and Katara stood watch. Once he had it, they split into pairs. Aang and Katara flew up on Appa to change the shape of the clouds, while Y/n and Sokka went to get Aunt Wu.  “Aunt Wu! You’ll never believe it.” Y/n spoke, as the two guided her up to the stage from before.  When they got to it, Sokka pointed at the sky. “Look! Something is happening to the clouds!”  “That’s very strange. It shouldn’t…. Oh my!”  One of the clouds had been shaped into a skull, to signal volcanic doom.  Aang addressed the crowd of villagers when him and Katara got back. “We can still save the village if we act fast. Sokka has a plan.”  “Lava is gonna flow downhill to this spot. If we can dig a deep enough trench we can channel all the lava away from the village to the river.”  “If any of you are earthbenders come with me.”  A twin raised his hand. “I’m an earthbender!” The other twin raised his hand as well. “I’m not!”  “Everyone else grab a shovel-” Another explosion sounded, cutting Sokka off. “Come on, we’ve gotta hurry!”  They all hurried to start digging out a trench, using the means of both manual work and earthbending. The volcano had started to spew lava, by the time the trench was finished and led into the river.  “Everyone needs to evacuate! We’ll come for you when it’s safe!” At Aang’s direction, the villagers ran to safety. The group watched as lava started to race down the side of the volcano, engulfing the village gate and soon the cemetery. Once it reached the trench, it filled it rapidly.  “It’s too much! It’s gonna overflow!” Katara shouted, as the lava filled to the top of the trench.  Another explosion rocks the ground, burning rocks begin to rain down, along with ash. Y/n, Katara and Sokka began to run away, but stopped realizing Aang stood in place.  He ran forward, launching himself into the air with his bending. As the lava begins to overflow, he blows the lava back to keep it from advancing from the village. He drew in a large breath before expelling it, using his airbending to cool the lava into stone. The three watched in awe.  Y/n wiped at the sweat beading on her forehead. “Woah.”  “Man, sometimes I forget what a powerful bender that kid is.”  Katara looked over at her brother. “Wait, what did you just say?”  “Nothing, just that Aang is one powerful bender.”  “I suppose he is…” 

After the volcano situation was successfully dealt with, everyone had gone back to the town square. Aang returned the cloud book back to Aunt Wu.  “By the way, we kind of borrowed your book.”  “So you messed with the clouds did you!” She snatched the book angrily from his grip, before beginning to laugh. “Very clever!”  Turning his attention away from the two, Sokka addressed the villagers. “No offense, but I hope this taught everyone a lesson about not relying too much on fortune telling.”  “But Aunt Wu predicted the village wouldn’t be destroyed, and it wasn’t. She was right, after all.” One of the men spoke up. Sokka got in his face. “I hate you.”  Y/n looked between the two with an amused expression. “He has a point.” Pausing, her eyebrows furrowed together and her eyes widened. “Oh spirits, he has a point.” She dropped her head into her hands.  Katara grabbed her brother by the shoulders. “It’s ok, Sokka. Everything’s gonna be alright.”  Y/n held her head in her hands for a few moments, only looking up when someone nudged her in the shoulder. Ah, Sokka, great.  “So,” Turning to face him, she raised a questioning eyebrow at the boy. “So?”  “That was some pretty good trenching you did out there. You’re pretty strong.” Pausing, Sokka reached out and gently punched her in the arm. “For a girl.” He spoke in a joking tone, grinning wide.  “Oh, uh, thanks. You’re pretty strong yourself.” Y/n punched him in the arm, but much harder than he’d done to her. “For a boy.”  He winced, rubbing at the spot she hit. “Ow! I mean-” He cleared his throat. “That didn’t hurt.”  She let out a laugh. “Sure it didn’t.”  Climbing up on Appa as the group readied for their departure, she ignored the thought in her head that said Aunt Wu’s prediction might not be that bad.

[twiistedgalaxies]

Three Times Jaskier Didn’t Seem Quite Human

(And one time Geralt asked too many questions.)

      “Jaskier isn’t human,” Yennefer stated bluntly, swishing a wine glass in her right hand.

      Geralt blinked, “What?”  This gave Yennefer pause. She knew that her on and off again lover was oblivious, but she hadn’t realized it was quite to this extent. Jaskier gave her a pained, pleading look from the other end of the table. She ignored him.

      “You seriously haven’t noticed?” she continued with a huff.

      “...No?” Geralt’s brows furrowed together in confusion. The nerve of these idiots. Yennefer had half a mind to just state the obvious, to keep these two from continuing to dance around the subject, possibly until the end of time.

      But it was much more fun to gently direct Geralt to the answer and watch his bard squirm. Yennefer took a sip of her wine, mentally cursing her high alcohol tolerance, “You’ve been travelling with the man for decades,” Geralt’s face was blank, the puzzle pieces not fitting into place, “He hasn’t aged, Geralt.”

      “That doesn’t mean anything,” he protested, though from the way his eyes shifted towards his companion he was clearly thinking it over. If they were not at such a high profile party Yennefer would have strangled him. He opened his mouth to say something else, but it was at that exact moment that Jaskier decided to pick up his lute and perform for the crowd - granted, it was what he had been invited to do, but Yennefer sent him a withering glare anyways. She was met with a cheeky wink. Oh if looks could kill. 

      “I could prove it to you, you know? A few well placed detection spells and-”

      Geralt shook his head, “He’ll tell me when he’s ready.”

      “You two are hopeless,” Yennefer sighed.

-@~*^*~@-

      It had been after a particularly difficult hunt, when Jaskier had to dress his companion’s wounds for the umpteenth time. Geralt sat upon a stool in the center of their tiny room at the inn. He looked more irritated than usual as Jaskier gave him what was essentially a sponge bath around where a kikimore had stabbed his shoulder with one of it’s spindly arms. Jaskier winced, it was too close to important organs for comfort. Humming as he worked, Jaskier tried to stitch shut what he could and thoroughly bandage the rest. The wolf medallion on Geralt’s chest thrummed contentedly each time the bard’s delicate hands drew near.

      “Where did you learn?” he asked suddenly, his gruff voice cutting through the peaceful quiet.

      “Hm?” Jaskier hummed, ignoring the Witcher’s grunt of pain as he applied one of his many salves to his shoulder, “You’re going to have to be more specific than that, dear.”

      “The salves, the stitching, all of it,” Jaskier raised an eyebrow at that, but Geralt continued, “It’s a very odd skill for a bard to have.”

      A laugh, Geralt had to bite back a hiss as Jaskier’s touches grew less gentle. He clearly wanted him to drop it. “What? Do you think that I was helpless before you came along with your bulging muscles and witchery glares?”

      The witcher shook his head, silver hair sending droplets of water in the air, “No it’s not that,” the bard had certainly proved capable and skilled many times over, “It’s just, were you a healer before you became a bard?”

      Jaskier froze, seemingly caught in a memory, “Something like that,” he began to bandage Geralt’s shoulder, “This kikimore did quite the number on you, didn’t it?”

      Geralt gave him a look of disbelief because obviously.

      “Come on, come on, give me the details, I can’t write my ballads off of just grunts and intrusive questions now can I?”

-@~*^*~@-

      Jaskier had tagged along on what was supposed to be a minor contract. Nilfgaard had stormed a small town, leaving destruction and countless corpses in their wake. Corpses that were perfect for every Alghoul in a three mile radius. 

      He and Geralt were engaged in their usual banter (which consisted mostly of Jaskier rambling about whatever was on his mind, punctuated with the occasional grunt from his witcher), when a sudden, piercing screech rang through the air. It was high pitched, shrill, and caused Jaskier to clutch his head as he let out a groan of pain. 

      Meanwhile, Geralt immediately leapt into action, drawing his silver sword as a pack of the necrophages surrounded them. He was able to take out several, his sword and the ghouls creating a smooth, gory dance. It all seemed to be going well before an Alghoul caught Geralt off guard, leaping onto his back while extending its spines. This sent Geralt off balance, and he was quickly overwhelmed. His sword got knocked out of his hands in the scuffle and he thought that this, however stupid it may be, would be what would kill him. 

      A cry of rage. Slashing, tearing. Suddenly the weight that was dragging Geralt to the ground grew lighter. He felt something wet and sticky. Geralt looked up to see Jaskier standing over him, holding Geralt’s silver sword, out of breath, and covered in Alghoul viscera.

      The bard looked down at himself, annoyance on his admittedly handsome features, “That was my favorite tunic too!” The tunic in question, once baby blue (like his eyes which were now flashing gold, what the fuck?) was now stained red and black. Jaskier brushed a bit of entrails off his shoulder, visibly disgusted.

      “Huh?” Geralt said, intelligently.

-@~*^*~@-

      The pair was making their way north, Jaskier strumming on his lute and Geralt sat atop Roach. The dirt road was a tunnel bordered by a wall of towering trees, whose orange and red canopies blocked out the sun, casting the duo in dappled shade. 

      Jaskier strummed a few chords in the major key, before he spoke, “Geralt, are you doing alright?” His face was soft and forget-me-not eyes distant like they often grew when he was lost in thought. Geralt shot him a confused look. “It’s just that, you’ve seemed rather distracted lately.”

      “Hm?”

      “I,” Jaskier sighed, collecting himself, “It’s just with the kikimore and the alghouls, and just last week when you forgot your potions in Roach’s saddlebags. I’ve never seen you get like this before, what’s going on?”

      “It’s nothing.” Geralt replied, gaze sliding to anywhere but his bard.

      Jaskier reached up, intertwining his lithe fingers with Geralt’s own, “I’m worried about you, Love.”

      Geralt huffed, he could never resist the man’s pouting lips and puppy-dog eyes, “Yen and I had a conversation at that party a few months ago.”

      He felt the bard tense, “Is that so?” There was a long, uncomfortable silence between them. Jaskier must have realized Geralt, man of few words that he is, wasn’t going to elaborate any further, so he spoke, “What did you two talk about?”

      “She said you aren’t human and I just thought about it more and… it makes too much sense,” Geralt began, feeling awkward as he tried to find the words to explain, “The way you don’t age, your medical knowledge (even of witcher potions!), how you know your way around a sword and how your eyes gleamed-”

      “Geralt, as you know I have an impeccable skincare routine and-”

      He frowned, “Don’t give me that shit, bard.”

      Jaskier sighed, “You really want to know?” A nod. “Okay, well, here goes nothing.” The bard let go of the witcher’s hand, and pulled off a golden ring that, now that Geralt thought about it, he had never seen the man without. A shimmer fell over the bard’s body, like a statue being unveiled. The first thing Geralt noticed was his eyes, they were a sickening, piercing yellow. His face was marred by countless scars, from claws, burns, knives, and magic. Jaskier’s build underneath the glamour more closely resembled Geralt’s, though he retained his shorter stature. The bard smiled sardonically at the witcher’s shocked expression, “Like what you see?”

      Geralt’s mouth opened. Then closed. Then opened again, “How?”

      “You’d probably know me better as Julian,” Jaskier’s eyes got that distant look to them again, his face was downcast, an unusual expression for someone who typically embodied sunshine, “I was in the Griffin school, before we were attacked,” a joyless laugh, “I had never wanted to be a witcher, ya know? Wasn’t cut out for it. But my father, Viscount Pankratz himself, couldn’t pay a witcher for his contract, so he offered me up instead. I failed as a noble, so maybe I wouldn’t fail as a witcher. He was wrong, of course, I spent most of my time writing poems instead of studying Signs. Singing instead of sparring. After the trials I spent a few years on the path before I grew sick of it and returned to Kaer Seren.”

      Geralt hummed, encouraging Jaskier to continue.

      “I was made to look after the students, I had to patch up their wounds and keep them from blowing themselves up with alchemy. I loved the little rascals, which is why..” Jaskier trailed off, fingers tracing the grooves in his lute.

      “It’s okay,” Geralt said, “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”

      He shook his head hurriedly, “No, no I want to, I have to,” his voice cracked, “I left after the trials killed them. All of them. I couldn’t bear to be a part of it. A part of everything. So I ran, like a coward,” He spat out that last word like a curse.

      The pair stopped. Geralt placed his gloved hand on the bard’s shoulder, a rare gesture of affection and reassurance.

      “Eventually, I found a mage and spent my life’s savings on a well-made glamour and the lute the elves at Posada so lovingly destroyed. It wasn’t until I had graduated from Oxenfurt that I found out what happened in Kaer Seren.”

      “Why didn’t you tell me?” Geralt asked, his voice gentle.

      Jaskier’s face flushed red with shame, “I was afraid. Afraid of what you would think of me. That you’d hate me.”

      Geralt frowned, “I don’t hate you. I could never hate you.”

      At that, Jaskier laughed, “Just look at me! I’m an ugly fuck-up.”

      “No,” Geralt said resolutely.

      “Huh?”

      “I said no. Do you know how many times you’ve saved my life? Made long nights on the path easier to bear? I wouldn’t be here right now if it weren’t for you,” Geralt continued, looking Jaskier directly in the eyes. He didn’t reply to that, just slipped his ring back on and hugged his arms to his chest.

      The rest of the day’s journey was spent in silence.

A/N:  I hope you enjoyed! Feel free to leave a comment, I love hearing feedback. I had one hell of a time writing this, I originally had only written the first scene, and it took a few months for my single window's screensaver brain cell to finally hit a corner and figure out how to continue and finish the story.

Ao3

[cuddlepilefics]

Comfort Item

Fandom: GOT7

Sickie: Yugyeom

Caregivers: GOT6

Prompt: @sicktember

No one’s POV.:

After a long day at the company, GOT7 headed out to have dinner together. None of them were in the mood to cook something right now, so they went to one of their favorite restaurants, deciding to treat themselves. The restaurant was packed but they managed to get a booth in one of the corners where they wouldn’t attract too much attention. However, with the restaurant being busy, it took a while for the food to arrive. When it did, Yugyeom noticed that the meat in his dish seemed a little pink still but it tasted great nonetheless, so he just ignored it and dug in. They had a great time and truly enjoyed their food, yet they didn’t want to hang around for too long as a few people had already recognized them. When all members were done eating, they paid and left. It wasn’t too late yet and as summer was coming to and end, the temperatures outside were comfortable. Deciding they had spent way too much time indoors lately, they agreed to take a longer walk before going back to their dorm to rest. Yugyeom was the only one not really happy about the decision but not wanting to be a party pooper, so he just went along with it, trailing behind the rest. For some reason, his stomach had started to feel a little off and walking around outside just didn’t sound too appealing. He walked behind the others and carefully slipped a hand under his shirt, palming his sore middle.

They had already been walking around for twenty minutes when the uneasy feeling in his gut turned into cramps. Mark had slowed down a bit to walk beside the maknae and took note of the younger’s tense expression. He didn’t bring it up at first, hoping Yugyeom would speak up if something was wrong, but at some point, he knew the dancer wouldn’t. “Hey, you okay? You look a bit uncomfortable”, Mark asked quietly. Looking straight ahead, Yugyeom shrugged: “I think my dinner isn’t fully agreeing with me.” – “Oh well, maybe the fresh air will help some”, the oldest hummed. Biting his lip, Yugyeom avoided eye contact. He knew the air wouldn’t do much, as it had only gotten worse the longer they were out. They continued to walk in silence while some of their members fooled around ahead of them. Mark had brushed the topic off until he heard a loud gurgle, looking over at his dongsaeng to see his face scrunched up in pain. “Did that sound come from your stomach?”, he asked worriedly. The maknae nodded hesitantly, raising his fist to his lips to muffle a queasy belch. When had he gotten so bloated? The waistband of his jeans had started to painfully dig into his tummy and he wished he hadn’t put on something so tightly fit. Giving him a comforting smile, his hyung spoke up: “Guys, Yuggs and me are going to cut it short. We’re tired and will take the shorter route to the dorm.” Yugyeom shot him a grateful look as Jaebeom nodded and told them they wouldn’t be home too much later.

The pair made their way home in silence and the youngest was glad he wouldn’t have to walk around much longer. His stomach was still cramping just as badly and he was starting to feel queasy. Mark unlocked the door and let them both in, kicking off his shoes. Yugyeom struggled a bit after tying his shoes with a double knot. He fumbled with the laces before finally untying them. Straightening up again, he was hit by a bad cramp, which caused him to crouch down with a pained groan. “You okay?”, Mark frowned, helping him back up when the pain eased a bit, “Should I check if we have some medicine or something?” The younger shook his head, muttering: “I think I’ll be fine if I just lay down a while.” Not wanting to push it, Mark watched him walk off to his room. He only followed him to place a bottle of water on his dongsaeng’s nightstand and tell him to feel better. After that, he left the youngest to rest, hoping the pain would pass as soon as his dinner was properly digested. Yugyeom was glad his hyung respected his privacy because he felt embarrassed by the noisy rumbling of his stomach. Laying on his side, he hugged a pillow to his middle and drew his legs closer to his chest. It had been a while since he had last had a stomach ache this bad and thinking about it, it had probably been the meat. He knew it had looked funny. Being hit with another cramp, Yugyeom bit the corner of his pillow to suppress the pained sound trying to escape his lips. This was not how he had expected his evening to go.

Today was their monthly movie night and as of now, Yugyeom didn’t think he’d be able to participate. He was in too much pain to focus on a movie, let alone be around all the snacks his friends had gathered. The dancer was pulled from his thoughts when there was a knock at the door. “Come in”, he forced out, putting on a smile when Jinyoung entered the room. The older gave him a questioning frown: “You don’t look well. What’s going on?” – “I feel sick to my stomach”, Yugyeom admitted through gritted teeth, burying his face in the pillow when another cramp twisted his stomach. “Do you feel like you need to be sick?”, Jinyoung asked worriedly, relaxing when his dongsaeng shook his head, “Want me to make you some tea to help your stomach settle?” – “H-Hyung, I don’t think I want to put anything in there right now”, the maknae groaned, starting to sweat. The older hummed thoughtfully, instructing: “I’ll let you rest, text or yell if you need anything.” – “Thanks”, Yugyeom mumbled, closing his eyes. He tried to go to sleep in hopes of waking up feeling better but the discomfort was too big to let him rest. The door quietly opened again and Yugyeom glanced at his roommate. Bambam shot him a smile before walking to his closet to get changed into some comfortable clothes for their movie night. He had his back turned on the younger but looked over his shoulder when he heard him let out a pained sound. “You okay?”, the rapper asked. Forcing a smile that turned out more like a grimace, Yugyeom muttered: “My stomach is killing me, please put me out of my misery.” – “Sorry, no can do”, Bambam chuckled, quickly getting changed before sitting down next to his dongsaeng, “Anything I can do to make it better?” The younger shook his head and started to relax when the rapper played with his hair.

Bambam kept him company till there was a knock at the door. The rapper quietly answered it, allowing Jackson to join them. Yugyeom watched them as Bambam explained their hyung what was going on. “Aw, I’m sorry to hear that”, Jackson cooed with a sympathetic smile, “Maybe our movie could distract you from the pain. Do you think you can get up?” – “I think technically I can get up, I just really really don’t want to”, the maknae hummed, already having accepted that he’d miss out on this month’s movie night, “I just want to lay in bed until it goes away.” Feeling his heart clench, Bambam announced: “I’ll keep you company if you can’t join the rest of the group. Letting you suffer all by yourself isn’t right.” Jackson nodded. They wouldn’t let their youngest isolate himself when he wasn’t feeling well. Bambam climbed into bed behind his only dongsaeng and asked hesitantly: “Would it help if I rubbed your stomach?” Yugyeom gritted his teeth, having to wait out the cramp before he could reply: “Don’t touch my stomach right now.” – “Alright, do you think you need to be sick?”, the rapper questioned, Jackson already glancing at the trashcan under the table in case the maknae said yes. Squeezing his eyes shut, Yugyeom groaned: “I’m a bit queasy but mainly it just hurts.” Jackson pulled the trashcan next to the bed just to be safe, while Bambam traced the younger’s back comfortingly.

“Is there anything I can do to help?”, Jackson hummed lowly, unable to see the maknae in that much pain any longer. Yugyeom bit his lip. There was something but he couldn’t bring himself to say it. It was kind of embarrassing and he didn’t feel bad enough to forget about his pride. Nudging his shoulder, Bambam leaned closer to his ear and whispered: “The way you’re hesitating, there has to be something, right?” – “I- It’s embarrassing”, the younger mumbled, hiding his flushed face in the pillow. “If it’s going to help you, there’s no need to be embarrassed”, Jackson smiled. Afraid his voice would crack from how shy he felt, Yugyeom whispered barely audible: “I-I have that microwaveable teddy bear.” – “Oh, you mean like a heat pack?”, Bambam hummed in understanding. The younger nodded. “Where is it?”, Jackson asked calmly, knowing his dongsaeng was so insistent on his independence that he barely had any plushies around him. Hiding his face, Yugyeom muttered: “Stuffed it at the back of my closet.” The older instantly walked over to the closet and rummaged through it, searching for the maknae’s comfort item. “Aw, that’s cute”, Jackson smiled when he pulled the bear out from between the piles of clothes, “Want me to heat it up for you?” – “C-Could you?”, Yugyeom pleaded shyly. It had always helped when he had stomach troubles as a child. Nodding reassuringly, Jackson slipped out of the room and made his way to the kitchen.

The other members looked up from where they were setting up the couch for their movie night. “What’s that?”, Jaebeom questioned when he saw the other with a plushie in his hands. Jackson smiled: “Gyeommie’s heat pack.” – “Oh my god, that’s adorable”, Mark gasped, clutching his chest. The others nodded surprised. It was cute, although they never would have expected their maknae to own something like this. “Oh, by the way, he’s not going to join us tonight and neither is Bambam”, Jackson informed, taking the bear out of the microwave and kneading it to make sure the heat was distributed equally. He hurried to get back to his dongsaengs and handed Yugyeom his teddy bear. The maknae instantly abandoned the pillow he had been hugging and curled up around the new source of heat, sighing when the warmth helped his muscles to relax. Giving a grateful smiled, the youngest breathed: “Thank you, hyung.” – “No problem”, Jackson replied, “I told the others that you two wouldn’t join us for the movie, so try to get some rest.” Yugyeom nodded, closing his eyes. Maybe he’d be able to go to sleep now.

Two hours had passed and the movie just ended. Unlike Bambam, who was knocked out behind him, Yugyeom hadn’t been able to fall asleep. His heat pack had cooled but he didn’t find the energy to drag himself out to the kitchen to re-heat it. The pain in his stomach had barely improved at all but at least he didn’t feel as queasy anymore, so he’d probably be fine by tomorrow, when the food had passed through his system. He looked up when he heard the door creak open. Jinyoung looked at him surprised, whispering: “I didn’t think you’d still be awake but wanted to check on you anyway before going to bed. Do you feel any better?” The maknae shook his head, a low rumble from his stomach confirming his statement. Glancing down at the plushie the youngest had cuddled to his middle, Jinyoung offered: “Do you want me to re-heat that for you?” – “Please?”, Yugyeom whispered, not wanting to wake Bambam. The older nodded and took the bear out to the kitchen. He also made a cup of ginger tea while he waited for the microwave to beep, in hopes it would soothe his dongsaeng’s upset stomach. He took both back to Yugyeom’s room and smiled when the maknae instantly hugged the heat pack. “You don’t have to drink the tea”, Jinyoung hummed quietly, “Just know it’s there. Sleep well and don’t hesitate to wake me up if you need something or feel worse, yeah?” – “Thank you. Good night, hyung”, Yugyeom whispered, cuddling back into Bambam’s arms, a small smile playing around his lips despite the pain.

[jj-scottsbee]

I’m Your Daughter

Prompt: You were the daughter of Tony Stark, all you wanted to do was make your Father proud.

Warnings: Crying, swearing 

You stared into the crowd, searching for his face. Out of everyone that had shown up to see your final art piece, the one person you wanted to be there most didn't show. Your face dropped as you stood with your drawing, ashamed that yet again your creation had not been good enough for your Father.

The painting was a 30x40 size portrait you had drawn of Pepper and your Dad. It had been a side portrait you had been able to capture during one of the many balls the three of you had attended together. They had been dancing, their hands intertwined, Pepper's hair curled beautifully, Tony's face unbruised. You hand-drew the entire thing and colored it carefully with colored pencil, the piece had taken you months to create and perfect. You had spent every spare moment you had to make it, you put your heart and soul into your artwork. For months you had reminded everyone in the tower about the date and time of the art show. Every day, you reminded everyone that you wanted them to come out and see the piece. You had kept it hidden from everyone, wanting it to be an anniversary present for your parents.

You adored both of them with every ounce of your heart. From the day you were born and dropped off on Tony's doorstep Pepper had acted as your Mother. You considered her to be your mother, the only thing she hadn't down for you was birth you, but you didn't care. Pepper who was not even biologically related to you, treated you more like a daughter than your own Father did and you noticed.

Out of all the Avengers, Tony was the one that never showed. Pepper had brought you to the show, she waited until you were able to present your piece on stage to see it. You watched as Pepper, Steve, Clint, Natasha, Bucky, Wanda, Bruce, and even Thor smiled and clapped proudly as you displayed your art on stage. The one face you had hoped to see, was nowhere to be found. Again, Tony had missed something that meant everything to you. Your face fell slightly with disappointment, but you quickly tried to hide it with a smile. This wasn't the first time Tony had skipped something that you begged him to be at, his absences started when you were young and still hadn't stopped. No matter how much you had begged him, how many times you reminded him, how many times he had promised to be there, he never lived up to his word. No matter how many times he had put you through the feeling of not being enough, every time you still hoped it would be different, nothing ever changed. After you walked off stage everyone hugged you, patted you on the back, told you how proud they were of you, Pepper even teared up as she looked at the drawing, she had loved it. She pulled you into a tight hug, trying to comfort and thank you at the same time. You did your best to hide the hurt you felt, the disappointment that overwhelmed your body. "Couldn't make it?" You asked the group, not bothering to mention a name. Everyone knew who you were talking about. They all knew how much this meant to you, how much you had begged Tony to come to just this one event. Their faces slightly fell, no one knowing what to say. "You know he gets busy, Hun." Pepper comforted, already thinking of the words she would be having with her husband later. No matter how many times he blew you off, you never complained. It wasn't hard to see that you were hurt by Tony's absences, but you still did your best to keep an upbeat spirit. Pepper had yelled and talked with Tony several times, she had nagged him for so long making sure he would be there for that show. Once again, he had missed it. After the show, the group of eight had offered to take you out for dinner in celebration, but you refused. You were quick to pack your drawing into the back of Pepper's car and hop into the passenger's seat. You sat quietly staring out of the window, avoiding the stares from the other Avengers. They looked at you with pity, as they walked away from the car. Pepper and you drove in silence all the way home to the tower. You exited the car quickly as your emotions began to get the best you. Every time before this, you had been calm and collected, brushing the disappointment and embarrassment off your shoulder. This time it was different, your anger took over and you angrily began to kick the car as hard as you could. Pepper was quick to your side, pulling you into a hug as you began to cry. You sobbed into her shirt, as she held you as tight as she could. Pepper knew it wouldn't be long until her husband's actions got to you, she knew you were bound to break soon. "Come on Y/N, let's go inside and get you in a hot bath. It'll help, I promise." She led you inside, her arm around your shoulders comforting her. The rest of the Avengers purposely sat in their cars, not wanting to embarrass you by showing that they had seen your breakdown. Pepper told Jarvis to bring the two of you up to your bedroom, but Tony had been notified of your arrival and instructed Jarvis to bring the two of you to the lab. As the elevator doors opened, you saw Tony deep into his work. His brow was contorted with concentration as he stared at his suit. He glanced up from his work as Pepper ushered you out of the elevator. "Hey, how was dinner?" He took a double-take as he saw your red and puffy eyes, "What happened? What's wrong baby?" Tony was quick to tear himself away from his work as he saw your hurt expression. He swiftly made his way over to you and Pepper, staring at you with worry. Pepper was angry but knew this was something that you had to get out and talk to him about. Your Dad pulled you into a quick hug but pushing you back by your shoulders taking a once over. He checked your face for any injuries worried that you had been physically hurt. "You don't even know what you missed." You said softly, as you pulled yourself away from Tony's grasp. You tried to push past Pepper but she stopped you. "Y/N you need to talk to him." She gently grabbed your wrist. She pulled you slowly back towards Tony. Pepper gave Tony a look as if saying, 'just listen'. She then turned and walked into the elevator, leaving the two of you alone. "Did I do something?" He asked confused. "It's what you didn't do," You stated calmly, "You didn't show up." "What do you mea-," He paused, the realization of what he missed hitting him. "The art show, it was tonight? Shit, I'm sorry baby." He tried to hug you again, but you backed away from him. "It's the same fucking excuse. No, fuck that, you don't even give me an excuse you just say 'I'm sorry' and I'm expected to forgive you. Every fucking time I beg you to do something or to support me through something, and you never pull through." Your hurt turned back into anger. You stared your Father in the eye, he was taken back by your sudden burst of anger. You had never gotten angry directly at him, let alone had you never sworn around him. "First of all, watch your language, and second, I'm sorry but I got busy," He laughed at the end, out of uncertainty or disbelief, you couldn't tell. "Sometimes, I can't make it to things." "Sometimes...sometimes?!? When have you ever fucking supported me through anything? When have you ever showed up to anything of mine? I spent fucking months on my art, on your fucking anniversary present and you didn't even have the fucking decency to show up to the revealing of it! I am your flesh and blood and yet the thing that takes priority over your own daughter is that fucking suit!" You screamed at him, your anger boiling over. You walked towards one of your dad's many suits, the suit that made him a superhero. The suit that stole him away from you. "I've supported you your whole life. I didn't have to fucking take you in, I could have dropped your sorry ass off at a fire station, but instead, I took you in and gave you everything you've ever wanted." His words stung, they hit you hard. You spun around to face him, making sure to get in his face. "All I've ever wanted was your fucking attention, your fucking love. For you to show me that I mattered just an ounce more than your precious suits. It's always the precious suits," You growled the last part, turning towards the suits again. "I'm your Father-," You were quick to cut him off. "I'm your fucking daughter." You screamed, as you picked up a wrench off his desk and hurled it at his head. Tony was quick to dodge the metal tool, staring at it as it banged against the elevator doors. It fell to the ground causing a loud noise to echo throughout the lab. Your chest heaved with anger, Tony brought his looked away from the wrench and back to you. A sharp look in his eye. The two of you stared at each other in anger, neither of you looked away. Both of you stared directly into the others' eyes, refusing to be the first to look away. The ding of the elevator filled your ears, the doors opening as Steve, Pepper, and Natasha, jumped out. The other Avengers shoving their way through the door of the stairs. They had heard the wrench hit and worried about what would happen next. They had been watching from the cameras that Jarvis had connected to, too. "I'm your fucking daughter, all I want is my Father." You growled, turning away from Tony you grabbed the stool that he had sitting by the suit. You picked it up and with all your might you swung it towards the computer, then towards the suit. You swung with every ounce of strength you had, ignoring your father's protests. You did your best to put dents in the suit, even if they were small. You were able to shatter the computer, sending glass everywhere.

Tony was quick to rip the stool from your hands, throwing it away from everything. He grabbed you, bear-hugging you as you kicked and yelled for him to let you go. "I'm your daughter, I'm your daughter." You kept repeating the same phrase, your anger, turning into tears as you slowly stopped fighting your Father's grip. You began to cry as Tony held you tight, the consequences of his actions showing it's ugly face. He finally realized how much pain he had actually caused you.

The other Avengers watched as the two of you fell to the ground, you still engulfed in Tony's arms. Piles of the shattered computer screen sat all around you. The tears flowed from your eyes, as both yours and Tony's chest's heaved as you both calmed down. Tony had never realized how much he had neglected you until he saw you break in front of him.

[flowesona]

The Midnight Channel [2/2]

Yandere ??? x reader

Inspired by Persona 4 (2008)

The most valuable thing (Y/N) had was her friends. She adored the simple things, such as the way Jungkook’s smile when she offered to buy him food was simply infectious, or how Taehyung would call her late at night making plans for the next day. 

They were especially precious to her the days after Taehyun’s murder, when she felt as if the entire town had turned against her. She didn’t even speak to her parents, relying instead on Jungkook’s phone calls to wish her a good night.

She didn’t express this sentiment to them until one Thursday afternoon, over a seemingly endless bowl of ramen that Taehyung insisted on buying for her, explaining that he’d gotten a pay rise at work.

“You know we’ll always be here for you.” Taehyung hummed in agreement to Jungkook’s statement, abandoning his food in favour of listening to the conversation. 

“I’m so grateful for that, I just wish everything would go back to normal.” (Y/N) sighed, smiling when Jungkook gave her a light pat on the shoulder. She finally finished her bowl of ramen and pushed it in front of her, stretching with a happy smile.

“Can we stop by the library on the way back? I need to return the book I took out or I’ll be fined.” There was no way she could say no to Jungkook’s puppy dog eyes. Thus, they ended up waiting by the desk as a woman with snail-pace speed tapped away the computer to find his library ID, as he’d lost his card.

“Jungkook! It’s great to see you again.” A hushed voice from besides them provided some company, as they saw a slightly older man with a soft smile.

“Hey Namjoon. These are my friends, (Y/N) and Taehyung.” Namjoon held out his hand, to which (Y/N) shook it. However, Taehyung was completely snubbed.

“Are you guys studying hard? You have entrance exams starting soon, right?” Namjoon said in a hushed voice, glancing at Jungkook who was still engaged in a quiet conversation with the front desk clerk, who seemed to be struggling with the computer as he pointed at the screen to direct her mouse.

“I haven’t really given it too much thought recently. I…” (Y/N) trailed off, feeling her words get caught in her throat. Sensing this, Taehyung reached for her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.

“You’ve been caught up in a murder investigation, I know.” Namjoon’s voice was soothing, comforting as he leaned in closer to keep their conversation on the down low. 

She felt Taehyung gently run his thumb across the back of her hand, and used that as a sign to breathe again. 

“I think Jungkook’s almost done.” Taehyung whispered. He could read her like a book, and he knew more than anything she just wanted to get out of there and go home.

Jungkook finally, after a long battle with the librarian over the basic parts of her job, was done.

“I’ll see you soon, Namjoon.” He said, as they made their way out. Not even stopping to listen as he also wished them farewell.

───── ⋆⋅ ☂  ⋅⋆ ─────

As Jungkook and Taehyung made their own ways home, (Y/N) was left all alone to navigate the rapidly darkening streets. She started to speed up, scared of being caught out in the night. [Taehyun]’s killer was still out there, after all.

The roar of a motorbike almost scared her out of her skin, as she heard the engine get louder until it drew to a stop, the biker right beside her.

In that second she wanted nothing more than to bolt. But it was as if she was glued to the spot as she saw the biker take off his helmet to reveal a somewhat familiar face.

They stared at each other for a moment, before he reached into his pocket. Expecting the worse, (Y/N) began to inch away preparing to scream her lungs out. Only to see him pull out her umbrella.

Without a word, he pressed it into her hands. 

“Thank you.” She felt herself go hot at the sound of his deep voice.

“No problem.” 

There was an awkward pause.

“It’s not safe to be out this late.” He commented.

“My friends live on the other side of town.” (Y/N) replied. “I didn’t want to have them go out of their way walking me back.” 

The biker sighed.

“I don’t feel right leaving you to walk home alone. Get on the back, I’ll give you a lift.” 

“Oh no, it’s fine-” (Y/N) protested, face still flushed.

“I’m a lot safer than some of the other people in this town. Get on.” 

Swallowing down the fear in her throat, she cautiously climbed onto the back seat.

However, he didn’t move yet. Suddenly, she realised that she wasn’t sitting properly and whilst regretting her every word, she placed her arms around his waist.

The stranger put on his helmet, revved up the bike, and they were off.

“Where do you live?” He asked as they sped down the road.

“Near the 7/11.” She answered, receiving a grunt in response.

The ride was almost refreshing, once (Y/N) had conquered her initial fear. The cool breeze whipped her face and hair, making her squeal and causing the biker to chuckle at her reaction.

Finally, he drew up outside her house.

“Thank you so much.” (Y/N) offered him a smile, climbing off the back of his bike and dusting herself down.

He didn’t respond until she was at her door.

“I’m Yoongi.”

“I’m (Y/N)” She replied. “Have a good night.”

───── ⋆⋅ ☂  ⋅⋆ ─────

The howling rainstorm outside made it impossible to sleep. Once again, her most uncomfortable days were accompanied by rain.

‘The Midnight Channel.’

Once the thought had entered her head, it was hard for it to leave. Would Taehyun still be there, his suffering captured forever to make (Y/N) suffer? Or would it simply be blank, (Y/N) having lost all her one and only soulmate.

No matter how much she tried to distract herself, (Y/N) couldn’t shake it. She just had to see what would be on there.

She watched the hand creep closer and closer until it was almost midnight. Suddenly, she couldn’t bear it anymore. She flung the bedsheet off her, and kneeled in front of the TV.

(Y/N) was ready to give up when nothing happened. But, just as she was about to climb back into bed and scrub all knowledge of the strange phenomenon from her mind, the screen flickered to life. 

At first, the static was too strong to make out who it was. All she could see was a vague female silhouette. However, once she meant closer to squint, she could make out the face. Bone chillingly, the face belonging to the figure being shown on the TV was that of her own.

───── ⋆⋅ ☂  ⋅⋆ ─────

Needless to say, (Y/N) refused to leave her room after what she’d seen. No amount of bargaining or reasoning from her parents could convince her that she wasn’t about to die in the same mysterious manner as Taehyun. 

She couldn’t even bring herself to let her friends in. All of her trust with outer society was destroyed by some stupid urban myth, and as much as (Y/N) wanted to convince herself it was all a hoax, memories of the corpse dangling from the telephone pole haunted her everytime she closed her eyes.

Eventually, she built up the courage to see someone. Her mother had knocked on her door ten minutes ago saying that Taehyung was still there, waiting for her.

And sure enough, when she poked her head out of the door he was sat outside, on his phone. The second he heard the door creep open his head shot up.

“(Y/N)! Thank god, I’ve been so worried.” He stood up, only for (Y/N) to back away.

“Maybe it isn’t best for you to see me. I look like an absolute mess.” 

“Nonsense.” Taehyung insisted, prying open the door. “I said I wanted to see you. I don’t care how you look.”

He muttered something under his breath, but when (Y/N) asked he just shook his head.

They sat themselves on her bed, as he awkwardly tried to find the most non-invasive way to ask (Y/N) what was wrong.

“How have you been then?”

“Like shit. I’m scared to leave my room, Tae.” She sighed.

“Why?” Taehyung pressed, reaching out to hold her hand. She took it, relishing in the comfort of his soft hands.

“You know about the midnight channel, right?” She said, trying not to stumble over her words.

“That thing Jungkook was talking about? Yeah, why?” 

“Well, when Taehyun was… you know… I saw him on the Midnight Channel. Twice in fact. So I thought he could be my soul mate. But then I checked again a few nights ago. And there was… me.”

Taehyung squeezed her hand tightly, letting her continue.

“I don’t know what’s going on, but I feel like the Midnight Channel is calling card of some kind. And whoever killed Taehyun is going to kill me.”

“They won’t.” Taehyung said firmly. “I won’t let them. I swear (Y/N), to lose you would be to lose part of my soul.”

“Tae…?” (Y/N) felt her face go red at his passionate declaration. He’d always been so caring, so kind but this was a whole other feeling.

“(Y/N), I love you. I know that I do. And you might not love me back, and I will accept that. But I can’t live without you.” 

“Tae… thank you. I… I need time, but I know that I like you. Just let me figure out my life before I rush into this, so I don’t hurt you.”

He nodded, standing up to leave but (Y/N) wouldn’t let go.

“Please… can you just stay a bit longer?”

───── ⋆⋅ ☂  ⋅⋆ ─────

As much as she wished to be wrapped up in Taehyung’s arms for the rest of time, it was getting late and she knew his parents would be worried about his whereabouts.

“I’ll walk you to school in the morning. No one’s going to hurt you under my watch.” Taehyung was reassuring both her and himself as he spoke.

“Take an umbrella. The rain is way too heavy right now.” (Y/N) replied, finding the black fold-up umbrella she’d discarded in the corner of the room and pressing it to his chest.

“(Y/N)?” She didn’t realise how tense she’d become until he called her name to snap her out of the trance. She met his eyes, and he smiled.

“I love you. Sleep well.” With a gentle kiss to her forehead he left the room, and she could hear him making polite small talk with her parents before leaving. 

Meanwhile, (Y/N) busied herself by changing into her sleepwear and preparing herself for bed. She could only hope a good night’s sleep would ease her mind, and it felt like as soon as her head hit the pillow she was out cold.

The town itself was dropping off to sleep. Lights were being switched off, dishes left to dry, and restaurants were starting to wipe down the tables. It was the perfect setting for him to strike, hiding in the shadows as he made his way towards (Y/N)’s house. No one even spared him a glance.

Her house was perfectly silent. All it took was a simple lock pick to the door and he was let in. There was one safety hazard, however. The intruder almost tripped over the body of the (L/N)’s dog, who had laid himself at the doorstep as if he knew of the danger to come. But all it took was some quiet shushing and a hand running through the dog’s fur to calm it back down, as it laid its head on the ground with its tail still wagging, exciting to meet a new friend. Thankful that it hadn’t caused too much of a ruckus, he crept up the stairs, hoping not to stumble across a squeaky step. After all, (Y/N) was an only child and the slightest ruckus could leave him screwed.

Nonetheless, he was at (Y/N)’s bedroom without so much as a peep. Gently he opened the door, and his heart soared as he finally glimpsed her face again, after what felt like ages. She looked ethereal as she rested, even if there was a slight frown on her face.

What was she dreaming about? School, Books, her dog… maybe even him? EVen if the thought delighted him, it didn’t deter him. He was still shook from what he’d seen earlier, and it was his love for (Y/N) that was driving him to drastic action.

(Y/N) was rudely awoken from her sleep when she felt someone grabbing her head and slamming it into the wall. She was about to scream, only to have a hand harshly pressed over her mouth. She desperately struggled, trying her hardest to elbow her attacker in the stomach, or preferably the groin, to no avail.

The stranger easily overpowered her, pushing her to the ground. As if to taunt her, the attacker used their shoe to flip her onto her back before pressing it into her chest, to hold her in place. 

It was only from this new angle she could start to make out the intruder’s face as she struggled to get up, aided only by the sliver of moonlight shining on them through the curtain. Even if she could barely recognise his face, the cool deep voice that spoke was unmistakable.

“It’s great to see you again, darling.”

“N-Namjoon? What are you…?” (Y/N) was breathless, both from shock and fear of what was to come. Was she going to die, right there completely helpless as her parents slept soundly in the next room?

“Don’t worry about what I’m going to do, darling. This is all about you.”

“Me?”

Namjoon sighed. He knelt down, moving the weight off her chest but pinning her hands down instead, pinning her beneath his body.

“You don’t realise just how mesmerizing you are, do you?” 

See her blank expression, he continued.

“I love you, (Y/N). I have loved you, for so long. But I’m not the only one, am I?” (Y/N) let out a hiss of pain as his nails dug into her wrists. “Park Jimin, always snapping at your heels like some lovesick puppy. Or maybe that thug Min Yoongi, who was so insistent on accompanying you home? Even Kim Taehyung. Don’t think I didn’t notice the way he was looking at you. Right in front of me as well!”

Namjoon scoffed.

“And how could I forget that little brat Taehyun?”

(Y/N) was shaking in his grasp as she spoke.

“What did you do to him?”

“Why don’t I show you darling?” Noticing the look of fear that washed over her face, he simpered.

“I have every reason to. You’ve messed me around too long. I’ve always been there, trying to help you, vying for your attention yet you flounce around with every other boy in town! How is that meant to make me feel?”

“How was I meant to know you feel that way? I don’t owe you anything, you creep.” (Y/N) hissed, voice raising slightly. Namjoon simply covered her mouth with one of his hands once again, conscious of her sleeping parents.

“I suppose that’s true, you don’t owe me anything. But I’m going to get what I want anyway.”

He pulled her off the floor, still keeping her restricted so no matter how hard she struggled it was futile.

“How about I show you the true power of the Midnight Channel?” Hearing her squeak in fear Namjoon continued. 

“You’re familiar with it, aren’t you darling? After all, once I told Jungkook I was almost certain he’d pass it onto you. And the more people who know about this, the more powerful it becomes.”

He was pushing her towards her TV, even as she dug her heels into the floor.

“My poor darling. Taehyun was just as scared. But I had to punish him for hurting your reputation so badly, not to mention how bold he was to stake his claim on you when you should belong to only me.”

She felt her shoulder hit the TV, but rather than colliding directly with it her body started to sink into it like quicksand. 

“I hope this will teach you a thing or two. Being in the TV world killed Taehyun, but I won’t let it hurt you too much. Hopefully I’ll remember to rescue you in a day or two.” 

The last sight (Y/N) saw before she was enveloped in the strange dimension was Namjoon’s smirk, knowing he finally had her full attention.

[helnjk]

Paint Brush Bristles - L.L.

Luna Lovegood x fem!reader

Word count: 699

Summary: A surprise for Luna gets discovered a little bit earlier than expected. 

Warnings: none! 

A/N: this was inspired by this ask by jess ( @whizboingies​ ) for the made up fic title game! it’s a short one because i really just wanted to write something out for the cute idea i had in my head 🧚🏼‍♀️also i can’t believe it took me THIS LONG to write smth so short sajdhk 

–

It wasn’t perfect.

The painting of the Moon Frog that you had been working on for what seemed like days now wasn’t perfect. In comparison to your other works, it was rather small, but it was part of the collection you were going to show Luna. It had to be of the best quality. 

Usually, you wouldn’t fret over a few minor mistakes. A few lines that weren’t just right, some coloring that didn’t meet your expectations, those things were just part of the creative process. In fact, your room was filled with either unfinished or imperfect sketches and paintings that you deemed ill-suited for anyone else to see. These were reminders to yourself of the growth you’ve had as a budding artist. 

But now, now you were working on a project that was too close to your heart for you to overlook errors. 

You didn’t know what went wrong. The paintings that you had finished before this one were practically perfect, you loved how they caught the light in just the right way. They were all placed neatly on a shelf, ready to be presented, but there was just something about this particular one that didn’t meet your standards. 

With a frustrated sigh, you dropped the paintbrush you were holding into a jar filled with water. The impact of the brush in the water caused a few droplets to spill over onto the table, but you were unbothered. 

“Is there something on your mind?” 

The soft, almost dreamy voice of Luna that came from your door nearly made you jump. She had a habit of creeping up on you, and despite this being the umpth time, your heart still raced. A nervous laugh escaped your lips as you gained your bearings. 

“Just a little creative block, I’m afraid.” You smiled at her.

“I figured,” she said nonchalantly, “You’ve got quite a bit of Wrackspurts buzzing about you right now.” 

“Is that so? I knew something was different about today.” You replied, not hiding the smirk on your lips. 

The blonde girl merely grinned at you before her eyes began to scan over at all your unfinished work. She liked to do that, take in the beauty of your sketches and your paintings, really taking the time to look over the details of each piece. 

Your art was actually one of the first things that brought you two together. You had been drawing out on the grounds of Hogwarts, making the most out of the beautiful day, when Luna had come up to you and told you that the way you drew the landscape was incomparable to anyone else. 

Now, even after your time at the school, she was still one of your biggest supporters. 

A small squeal shocked you out of your daydreaming and you turned to look at Luna. She was staring at the half finished painting of the Moon Frog you had abandoned just a few minutes ago. 

“Oh this is exactly what Moon Frogs look like, Y/N!” she sighed dreamily. 

You groaned slightly, realizing your mistake, “That was supposed to be a surprise!” 

She gingerly picked up the small frame, “Well, either way I think it’s beautiful.” 

Heat rose up your neck and onto your cheeks at the compliment, after all this time you still struggled when anyone gave praise about your work. 

“I’ve actually been working on a few more things for you,” You admitted sheepishly. 

Quickly, you gathered the small pile of canvases that held paintings of just some of Luna’s favorite magical creatures to talk about. Each painting was only about the size of your palm, but bursting with color and light. 

You knew how much she loved all kinds of things, things that most people couldn’t see, so this was your way of making them see for themselves. 

“These are all so wonderful, Y/N,” She grinned, taking each one and observing them from different angles, “We can even ask daddy if he could add some of these in the paper! Oh he’ll be so thrilled.” 

You let out a relieved laugh, shaking your head and pressing a kiss to her cheek, “You are wonderful, love.” 

–

general taglist: @expectoevans​ @george-fabian-weasley​ @gxthsanrio​ @slytherinscribbles​ @harpyloon​ @nuttytani​ @mesmerisedangel​ @amourtentiaa​

[marycecilyy]

Happy New Year!

Word count: 1687

Pairing: NathXCandy

Waning: NSFW ahead!

-x-

Nath gave his girlfriend’s hand a light squeeze while he nodded, listening to Chani as she told him some interesting stories about her time spent with Violette and Kim. The trio had grown even closer in the past months. Between painting and exercising, they were inseparable.

“And did you decide if you’re gonna accept Yael’s offer?” Candy asked, throwing a quick glance at the redhead, who was casually chatting with Hyun.

Chani fiddled with the glass on her hand, taking a few seconds to come up with an answer: “Not yet, but I’m inclined to accept. I mean, she seems to be handling Vio’s career pretty well.” 

“Yeah, you’re right. I trust her a lot and I know you’d be in good hands. Still, it’s  up to you.” 

Bzzzz

A vibration on Candy’s purse made her excuse herself from the conversation. Nath gave her a quick kiss and she went to the outside of the café to pick the call.

“Is everything okay? It 's 23:30, In twenty minutes we’ll head to the park to watch the fireworks.” 

“I’m ready, it’s just…” There were rare times when she saw Priya insecure, and this was absolutely one of them. Candy could even tell the reason why.

“Look, I know you’re nervous about Rayan being here, but you’ll have to get used to seeing him. Also didn’t he accept your apologies already?”

“He did, but still...I don’t want to ruin everybody’s night with my presence.”

Candy frowned.  This had been such a complicated issue and she had tried to be there for both of her friends. Priya resigning from the case had been a relief, but there were still things to solve.

“You won’t, and I’m sure you two will work things out.”

“...Okay. I’ll see you soon, then.” With that, Priya hung up.

Well, things could have gone worse. She was about to get back in and search for Rayan when she spotted golden locks heading towards her. Nath.

He pulled her by her waist and caressed her cheek sweetly. “I know you have this urge to solve everyone’s problems, but not today. They’re both adults, I’m sure they can figure this out on their own.”

“How did you know….”

“Intuition. I know you well, babe.”

Candy melted into his embrace at the sound of the pet name. Their lips met in a soft kiss, proper but still full of love.

“Now, let’s get back inside.”

As soon as Priya entered the Cosy Bear, ten minutes later, things got a bit uncomfortable. She found Rayan quickly, though, and they started a pacific conversation. Candy had no idea what they talked about, but both of them seemed more relieved as everyone walked to the park. 

-x-

5… 4… 3… 2...1…

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Colorful fireworks brightened the night sky and, as everyone cheered and hugged each other, Candy and Nath shared their first kiss of the year. One hell of a kiss, by the way. With her lips locked on his, she wondered if that year would surprise her more than the last one.

“Hmm…” His thumb caressed her lower lip, red and swollen from the passionate make out. “You know what? I think we should head home.”

“What? But what about the others? And the champagne!” She turned her head to look at  her friends, but he held her chin so that she would face him instead.

Nathaniel’s lips curled up into a devilish smile. He approached her ear and whispered. “They had your attention all night. Besides, no champagne will leave you as dizzy as when I’m done with you.”

Damn, that man really mastered the seduction skill.

Eric noticed the couple distancing the group and abandoned his talk with Nina (good for her, his romance tips weren’t that great) to properly say goodbye.

“Aw, are you leaving already? The party has only started!”

“Sorry, but we really have to… uh… feed White.”

Eric threw a questioning look at Candy. It was obvious he didn’t buy it. However, he didn’t insist more. It was clear that the two of them were about to have some amazing sex and he wouldn’t interfere on that.  

He tried to repress the quick beating of his heart as he watched the lovebirds leave, his eyes focused on the girl’s form. Eric noticed how her eyes avoided his during the short conversation. Judging by Nathaniel’s behavior, though, she didn’t tell him anything about what almost happened and that was a relief. Damn, why did he think she’d return his feelings?

-x-

“Is everything okay?”

Candy nodded, but her frown didn’t disappear. She knew she did nothing wrong, on the contrary. However, Nath deserved to know about Eric’s interest towards her. After all, they were friends.

“Look, whatever is bothering you, I hope it isn’t too serious. I still plan to start this year with a bang, if you know what I mean, and we can’t do that if you have that face on.”

She chuckled at his pun. That sexy bastard…

“We can talk about it tomorrow, I think. You’re right, we need to enjoy our night.”

Nath pushed his girlfriend onto the bed, hovering over her and gluing their lips in a fierce kiss. Her legs instinctively wrapped around his waist and forced his crotch against hers. The roll of their clothed hips caused a shiver to run down her spine, going directly to her lower half. 

Candy arched her back when Nath’s hand went under her dress and started touching her clothed pussy. The same moment he bit her lower lip harshly, he started drawing circles over her clit. A moan escaped her mouth and he pushed one finger in.

His digits were rough and precise, hitting with expertise all her favorite spots. He kept kissing her, swallowing all of her gasps as he fucked her with his fingers. Her high was near, she could feel it. However, as she was getting close…

“Hey. Why did you stop?” Candy opened her eyes and looked up at Nath, who was now sitting on the bed. He had pulled out from her and was taking out his shirt. 

He unbuckled and kicked off his jeans, leaving him only with his boxers. He looked at her like a beast about to eat his prey, his eyes full of utter desire.

“I think we should do something different tonight…” 

She sat back up and laughed. “What now, you want to try anal?”

As a response, Nath only grabbed her ass and squeezed it harshly. Damn, he was being serious.

“Oh....” In two seconds her face was bright red. Well, it wasn’t like she didn’t think about it before, but she never imagined he’d bring that up out of the blue like that.

“Only if you want to…” His hand drew circles over her bottom.

Candy gulped. Well, it surely would be a great way to start the year. But what if something went wrong? If she got an infection or whatever, it would be so embarrassing…

“If it helps, I bought some lube the other day. It’s in the bathroom.”

“Mmm… Well, okay. But only if you let me return the favor in the future.”

It was his time to be embarrassed. She never talked about that, why the sudden interest in pegging him? “I-I’ll think about it… I promise.”

She grinned, satisfied with his answer, and went to the bathroom to get the lube. Before getting on the bed again, she undressed completely.

“So, how do you wanna do this?” Her initial shyness was completely gone, replaced by the excitement of trying something new. 

“You tell me, love. However it’s more comfortable for you.”

Nath gave her a sweet peck that eventually turned into a long make out. She laid on her back and let him control the kiss. Without interrupting the contact, he grabbed the lube and spilled it over his index. Slowly and carefully, he pushed it into her hole.

It felt… different. A good different, though. Candy closed her eyes and focused on the pumping of his finger in and out of her. When she felt like taking more, she gave his hair a little pull and muttered encouraging words.

He put in another one. Again, he started with languid movements, curling his fingers to spread her nicely.

“Are you feeling good?”

“Yeah…”

Nath pulled out his fingers and freed his dick from his underwear. He smeared it with more lube and gave some testing pumps. He looked so sexy, hair messy and spine curved as he hovered above her with his cock poking at her entrance. 

When he finally was inside her, Candy swore she saw stars. It was a completely new sensation, something she had never felt before. As Nath slowly moved inside her, he also rubbed her clit with his hand that wasn’t holding her hips. She looked up to lock her eyes on his. He had his notorious pleasure face, eyes squinted and head tilted back. She was sure that was an amazing experience for him too. 

Nath didn’t go rough like she expected, all of his thrusts were calculated, but deep and passionate enough to have her cumming in no time. He followed suit, spilling himself into her as he grunted next to her ear. Wow. That had been…

“Amazing. This was...” He pulled out and kissed her sweetly, “I wasn’t certain you’d actually accept that. Guess you always find some way to surprise me, don’t you?” 

Candy laughed between erratic breaths. She watched as he put his boxers on and laid next to her.  She embraced him and placed a few kisses on his chest.

“I loved it. Can’t wait for my time to fuck you. Should I buy the strap-on already?”

“You won’t give up on that, will you?”

Her response was immediate. “Never in a million years. It’s called payback” 

He would still hear a lot about that subject. However, that night, the only thing that mattered was their bodies entwined and the fact that they had started the year the best way possible.

[senju-sekhmet]

The Leash (Part 8)

Summary: Your rescue was supposed to be as smooth as these missions can be. However very quickly, Tobirama faces off against an enemy that has no form, color or smell - and time is running short, very fast. Unless he figures out what truly holds you hostage, your life will be lost. Warnings (for the finished work): Blood, illness, descriptions of heavy injuries and graphic violence, torture (both depicted and implied), needles, morally grey territory, human experimentation, panic attacks, character death, angst with a happy ending ~6200 words (this chapter, finished work: 80.000) Previous: Part 1; Part 2; Part 3; Part 4; Part 5; Part 6; Part 7 Read on AO3!   Disclaimer below the cut! Updated again, yAAAY!!

DISCLAIMER! Next part of the split! a bit longer. and not as soon as I hoped, gosh dangerit. But! Hopefully I’ll get the next one out a lot quicker. This chapter is a little bit special as I tried to incorporate something of a real intensive care take into what is happening as well as my own... ideas about how they'd deal with it all. Let me know what you think! Other than that: enjoy my very self indulgent work, filled with my own headcanons and angst galore. Let me know what you think and thank you so much for reading!!!! ______ It took him a moment to get his bearings again. Hashirama’s back was turned towards him, he was sitting in a chair by your side. The setting sun’s red light illuminated the room in warm hues Tobirama might have appreciated were it not for the sheer sense of dread he felt budding inside of him. The dreary exhaustion was swept away as he stepped closer slowly. Peripherally he picked up a weak pulse of chakra with sensor skills - nothing uncommon for him if he came close enough to a source. Usually he had to actively tap into his sensory skills in order to pick anything up, but if the signal was strong enough, it almost forced itself upon him. Right now, it most likely was your body. As Tobirama rounded the bed he saw your face: pale - paler than before, he was sure - and sweaty. You were taking shallow, hushed breaths while the odd whimper escaped your lips every now and then. Truth be told, Tobirama only remembered you trashing and writhing the last time the withdrawal had set in - now, you simply squirmed, sometimes.

Your expression was far from peaceful though. It was a grimace of sheer pain. Jaw taut, a frown etched onto your forehead and the eyes so tightly, your skin was in wrinkles.

Hashirama was holding your hand, his eyes were closed. An epitome of calmness next to your misery. Tobirama didn’t want to disturb his concentration lest he’d cause you even more torment so for a moment, he stood by the other side of the bed, helplessly witnessing your suffering. The dread had become the painfully familiar constriction of his chest again, every beat of his heart stabbed as he could only let his shoulders hang low.

It was wrong. He should never have agreed to let you suffer like this. The promise you had him make was a hollow echo in his ears. You probably wouldn’t want him to berate himself like this. But how couldn’t he? How couldn't he, when this was the result of the decision? Of course, the cruel logic behind this was clear to him - painfully so.

But if these past few days had been anything but logical every so often.

Hashirama cleared his throat, slowly. “Tobirama,” he greeted, quietly. He didn’t open his eyes.

Tobirama jumped at the opportunity. “How is she?”, he demanded swiftly, keeping his voice low but making no effort to stow back on the urgency.

Hashirama didn’t respond directly, which only served to irritate Tobirama slightly. “It’s difficult,” he began finally, “Initially we were able to stave off the brunt of the withdrawal by sealing her chakra away,” Tobirama’s blood near froze in his veins, his eyes widened slightly, “But it’s been picking up since. Her blood pressure has been dropping and I’ve been noticing signs of inflammation primarily along her blood vessels but also the heart and lungs." He paused momentarily, uttering a hum of ponder. "The reaction overall is similar to sepsis at this point. Likely the body trying to clear out the leash physically now that her chakra can't interact with it anymore.”

Tobirama couldn’t help himself now. He had to know - to see - with a fine tremor in his hand and a raspy breath he took a step closer to grasp the blanket that covered you and pull it lower, very slowly. As lightly as he could. You stirred as the cloth moved, a feeble shudder of your weak body, but no more. On your chest he could already make out the ink markings of the chakra seal on your bare chest. The sight stole alone his breath momentarily. He violently swallowed down the lump in his throat.

He had believed seeing you weak, tortured, a shadow of your former self - that was one of the worst parts about all of this - he had been wrong.

This. This was worse. It all painted a new horrible picture for what it implied.

There were more seals on your glistening skin - both of your arms and your heart, each of them with a parchment in their center that had been soaked in herbs whose smell each he knew well. Tobirama recognized these: one was stabilising your cardiovascular system both through the seal’s effect itself but also by letting the herbal agent be applied transdermally. The fact you already bore it - the Ione on your heart to make it pump stronger - was a grim sign. The other two were strong pain and sedation medications. Were anyone other than his brother here, he’d probably have refused to wait any longer with the next dose.

He pulled the blanket back up again and crossed his arms in front of his chest as if that helped to reinforce his broken, guilty resolve about all this. “Tell me more,” he requested firmly, eyes never leaving your gaunt face now. This is the only way, he kept telling himself.

“Mito and I drew the chakra seal. It is temporary and can be opened and closed, I’ll show you later. When Y/n gets the next dose and is in her lucid phase, we can open it again for her comfort,” Hashirama consoled quickly. Whether or not he had taken note of what Tobirama had done, he didn’t care right now. It was a slight relief. Maybe you hadn’t felt any of it. Maybe.

“She’s rather still, anija,” Tobirama whispered, now with more worry and firmness. "You sedated her?"

His brother hummed affirmatively. “We … were forced to, indeed.” The hesitance was clear in his tone.

“I see.” Tobirama’s in turn was grave. His next question he blurted out before he was even sure whether he wanted to know the answer. Who was he kidding? Of course he did. “I surmise otherwise, she wouldn’t be still enough to be monitored like this,” to put it lightly. He didn’t have the stomach right now to utter: Otherwise you’d be screaming from the top of your lungs and writhing like you were on fire.

Just like the last time you had been in withdrawal.

Just like the prisoners had explained.

Hashirama appeared to be grateful for Tobirama’s rare show of more neutral words. “You are correct.” The admission didn’t hurt any less for it.

“What about the other seals?” Tobirama demanded then, though of course Hashirama would know that Tobirama was aware of what they did. What he really wanted to know was how bad off you were. For all Tobirama knew, you might be carrying more of those already.

“I was forced to draw these a bit ago as the physical symptoms started to kick in worse again,” he replied evenly. “I first tried oral medication, but the effect was too weak. And administering it was ineffective.”

By ineffective, he meant impossible. You probably quite violently refused anything. Tobirama’s eyes widened slightly at the implication though. It meant your condition was worse enough that without these seals - the seal on your heart to support your cardiovascular system, really - you’d most likely be teetering on the brink of death than life. His hands bunched the fabric of his black shirt. “Exactly how much support does she need right now?” he demanded now, still not daring to step closer.

Hashirama gave a low sigh, but still did not open his eyes nor move his hand from yours. “It’s bearable. Due to the seal, the disruption is impairing her dormant chakra only, but it is not fighting back of course. The symptoms are being caused by her body’s physical reaction which we’re controlling with the medication and the other seals, for now. I’m simply monitoring. It’s just the three seals, Tobirama.”

He was not calmed down at all. “Still, you’ve already been forced to draw this to improve her cardiovascular situation.” Tobirama stated flatly, the neutral kindness gone. He started to paint a pretty dismal picture of your situation without even having examined you already.

Hashirama noticed, too. “And we can still increase the support of these seals. The fever is being kept in check, and while I admit her body is reacting physically, for now it is mostly symptomatic of the withdrawal rather than an actual damaging inflammatory reaction. I’d wager we even have a little bit more time before we have to give her the next dose of the leash.”

It should have served to put him at ease. And yet - “As if that should be our only concern,” Tobirama shot back, voice suddenly caustic. Your pained grimace was testament to the fact you were walking through hell once more and here he was, deliberating how long he could prolong it.

His stomach roiled as his breathing became jittery again. He had to close his eyes lest his brother witnessed his possibly glistening eyes; or at the very least the obvious pain in his glance. It wasn't as though he wanted to hide it - he just needed to be alone with it.

Hashirama was a very understanding person, after all.

And because of that he picked up on it nonetheless. “Y/n wanted this, brother.” It was all he said. Tobirama didn’t want to hear anything, anyway. There was nothing anyone could say about all of this.

Another concern hit him then, distancing himself quickly from the biting cynicism that rose up inside of him. “What about the amount of chakra overload? The seals will aggravate that,” he subconsciously stepped closer, more and more wishing to just see for himself how you really fared. Nonetheless his tone was demanding again.

“That is correct,” Hashirama agreed quickly, but calmly. “And I won’t lie, we are pushing the limit here. But given our options, it is the safest route. It is manageable right now however.”

Tobirama frowned and wondered if he truly did agree with that statement. Following blindly - even his brother’s no doubt superior medical expertise - just wasn’t in him. Especially when it concerned you. “Overload symptoms would be similar to what she is experiencing now, though," he countered tersely.

Hashirama inhaled deeply. “Which is why we’ll need to continue to watch carefully, even after she gets the dose. It’s not a perfect solution, but so far it’s working. If it happens to become too intense, then we know to cut the interval shorter again to lessen the needed seals.”

The words caused a sudden surge of ire through his dismal demeanor. All of this sounded more like experimentation rather than a real course of action. Not that his brother could know any better, but it still didn’t make him appreciate it any more. He forcibly took deep breaths in order to not snap again, but the ire was a welcome distraction from the utter despair that had taken over.

Hashirama opened his eyes then finally and his dark eyes gave him a warm glance. Tobirama instantly frowned, concerned it may hamper with his focus - but before he could speak, his brother did. “Take a seat, look for yourself. I know you want to.”

He didn’t have to say it twice. Tobirama grabbed one of the chairs swiftly and placed it on the other side of your bed, taking a seat then. Gingerly, he took your hand in his and closed his eyes to let his chakra meet your network and begin to examine you.

It was a mess. The first thing he noticed was the complete absence of a chakra flow - it was frozen in its tracks. And while before there certainly had been the many injuries you had yet to properly recover from, now there was a war raging in your body. Manageable. That was the word Hashirama had used. Tobirama himself would not go beyond that, if even. There was hardly a part of yourself not affected by all this; anywhere he looked he found signs of inflammation, microscopic injury in the tissue that was attacked, torn down and at the same time, rebuilt. The picture was similar to sepsis, as his brother had said indeed: your own body’s reaction to the leash was, ultimately, killing you. The leash itself seemed to cause damage on its own, but it was minor compared to the damages your own body was doing to yourself by trying to fend it off. At this point it was just a matter of time until that got too bad. After all, it already had begun to cause a capillary leak on a scale that required outward support to keep your blood pressure up. Your heart rate was elevated for compensation, and your organs each showed signs of damage due to said leak as well as the inflammation itself.

His focus needed to be extremely sharp to even make out traces of the leash in the rush of your frantically beating heart - intense scrutiny that surely wouldn’t go unnoticed by you. He withdrew quickly. Tobirama knew the leash would be latched - branded, almost - to your blood at this point. That easily explained why no part of your body was spared - just like in a real sepsis. Though he noticed the heart and lungs seemed to be affected more, too, as Hashirama had mentioned - examining them closer, he found the reaction here was particularly bad. Your lungs, as the extremely thin tissue of the alveoles were extremely affected by this - again, just like in sepsis. It was a matter of time until breathing problems would ensure. Your heart, as it strained to fight for a stable blood pressure while being inadequately perfused, suffering tissue damage on a microscopic scale, for now. At the very least, this might affect you immediately - but Tobirama found none of these damages couldn’t be healed, either.

Just not now.

Frankly, he hadn’t expected to feel better after this, exactly. However to witness the battle that was going on inside of you - one you were losing, ultimately, always - it added a new dimension to the sorrow and heartache he was feeling. Even though right now he felt the hum of the seals that had been painted on you and their effects - strengthening you - he felt nothing but helplessness to bear witness to your suffer firsthand and do nothing but to figure out how to prolong it. It didn’t just hurt his heart - it wrenched it around, tore at it. He didn’t want to do this.

Promise me.

He had promised you.

With a broken sigh, he withdrew and slumped back in the chair, eyes on your gaunt, pained face. His vision was blurry.

“Tobirama,” Hashirama’s voice startled him. With this dismal sight and the lingering extortion from his shadow clone stunt, which his body certainly had not forgotten, concentration was becoming touch and go as his thoughts circled in dark places. “The sedative will begin to wear off, soon. For the next dose, I’d rather she be more awake to ensure she can swallow it properly.”

Tobirama closed his eyes and already knew how this would go down. Another one for the list of things he’ll have a hard time forgiving himself. But he had to. He had to. Slowly, he rubbed a palm over his face. “Very well,” he replied, seeing reason in this too, of course.

They sat in silence for another two hours, almost. During the time, your writhing had picked up slowly - from a flex of your legs’ or arms’ muscles to weak movement. Slowly but surely sounds were picking up too - huffs or grunts at first, but later on there were quiet groans and incoherent mumbles mixed in. You never opened your eyes. Hashirama ended up increasing the heart’s seal’s intensity somewhat, all of which Tobirama watched while he monitored you diligently. He felt absolutely crushed in every sense - physically, emotionally, mentally. But sleep never came to his mind. The least he could do was be here with you, even if you might not notice it. But if anything were to happen - he’d be here. He’d sleep when you did. A little. And then continue to work once his condition allowed it again.

“It’s time,” Hashirama announced finally. “Her blood pressure has been sinking continuously and the damage that is caused by the withdrawal ultimately is becoming too intense now. I don’t want to push her beyond this.”

What a relief. Tobirama already had procured the next dose of the leash previously. Administering it now wouldn’t be as simple as the last times, however. With a heavy sigh, he rose to his feet, as did Hashirama.

“Y/n,” Tobirama spoke softly, placing a hand on your shoulder. “Can you hear me?” It was worth a try. Though he had little hope for it.

And he was right. Your reaction was lackluster, only a low groan as your head trashed to the other side.

“I’ll open her jaw,” Tobirama instructed his brother, numb now. Devoid of any emotion but to simply do this swiftly. “Hold her head.” Hashirama nodded and already seized each side of it with his hands, which you responded to by uttering yet another tormented moan.

Tobirama’s heart was hammering in his chest again - at this point he had just waited for that to happen, and his breathing was nearly as raspy as yours when he took another step closer to seize your jaw in the dreadfully familiar way again. Once more utter horror overcame him for having to do this to you. It grew worse when he felt how you were trying to trash your head to the side, but your movement was pitiful at best. “It’ll be better soon, Y/n, I promise,” he whispered brokenly, though he knew you couldn’t hear him.

Tobirama was tormented by how easy, compared to last time, the pressure behind your mandibular bone made it protrude, enabling him to shift the grip slightly to force your mouth more open with his thumb on your chin. A shiver ran down his spine. The hand that held the vial containing the leash shook slightly. You protested louder in what definitely was an even more painful groan, a sweaty, trembling hand reaching for Tobirama’s on your jaw. “Don’t,” he pleaded instantly, desperately.

Don’t make it worse.

Swiftly, he poured the leash into your mouth and shut it quickly before you had a chance to cough it back up. With pressure on your cricoid, the constriction of your airway was forcing you to swallow it before the breathing trouble became too uncomfortable. It was brutal, Tobirama knew. But it was the safest way to ensure you really drank all of this. Immediately, he and Hashirama withdrew from you.

You stilled completely.

Time for the next act of this nightmare, whose end was approaching way too fast and yet not fast enough.

_______

As per usual, Tobirama ensured you’d sleep for the terrible psychotropic effects of the drug. However Hashirama noted it was better to use a sedative this time, as they needed to avoid any use of chakra on your strained body for now. He agreed reluctantly - by this point he knew it couldn’t interfere with the leash’s effect, in any way. Besides, Hashirama also stated he needed to monitor you further - especially watch for signs of chakra overload as well as controlling the seals. Likely, your cardiovascular situation will improve enough to be stable on your own.

Tobirama nearly shouted at his brother when he used the word ‘likely’. If he thought it was just likely then they had gone too far. And just as likely Tobirama felt like smacking his brother for sheer stupidity right then. He didn’t of course, ultimately and begrudgingly yielded to his brother's expertise. However it didn't stop him from sternly reminding him about how fragile and susceptible your mind was due to every sensation heightened -

"Be careful," he warned, rather, threatened. "Do not agonize her unnecessarily."

Hashirama rolled his eyes. "I'm doing what I have to. No more and no less, brother." Despite everything, he remained calm.

It provided little comfort, but he saw no option but to add it to the list of necessary things they had to do to you. Tobirama’s frustration was palpable at this point.

Nonetheless, all of this just showed it was time to rest, as much as he hated it. Sleep was inconvenient, but needed alas. And once more he found himself at your shared home, alone. Luckily enough, the exhaustion was great enough to claim him quickly after he had laid down, but the forlorn feeling was seeping through every crack. With every passing day, this house felt colder and lonelier. The burden he carried strained him to a point where numbness was spreading inside of him. He felt spent, at the end of his wits. His sleep was dead, dreamless.

And a little longer than he wanted it to be. He woke again with a startle - his gaze sought out the clock mounted on the wall right away. It was somewhat past midnight. Damn. You should be awake by now. He rubbed a hand over his face to wipe away the last traces of sleep before he washed himself, got dressed and teleported to your room right away.

_______

The withdrawal was one of the worst things you had ever gone through. It easily was on par with some of the torture you had suffered.

It had begun as you remembered it - you became weaker with each passing minute. Then came the dizziness. Your consciousness slipped in and out. An ache settled into your bones, your muscles, your nerves, that was all too familiar - dim, at first, but it increased more and more. It wasn’t long before it felt like molten lava rolled through your veins, alongside your nerves, through your lungs with every breath you took - you were being burned out from the inside slowly, cruelly. Split apart and yet not dying.

You wanted to scream. You wanted to writhe away, shake it off, rip your skin off, do anything - but you couldn’t. Something held you suspended in darkness with proverbial chains winding around you tightly, everything else was black nothingness. Nobody to hear your screams, nobody aware of your agony - all by yourself in a hell that wasn’t ending. At first, you were trying to tell yourself this was what you wanted: you had to give Tobirama - yourself - more time. Otherwise they’d run out of this damn murder drug before they could recreate it. But this? This wasn’t worth living, was it?

Had the chains around you not seized your throat, you’d have begged for someone to kill you. End your misery.

I’m sorry, Tobirama.

Forgive me.

You circled around these two sentences over and over again while the torture wasn’t ending.

Peripherally, you had been aware - at first, when the withdrawal had begun to set in - of someone’s chakra inside of you - Hashirama, you realised, dimly. It had made sense. Tobirama would need to work. Try as much as you wanted to, but you couldn’t work around the dizziness and the pain that had been roaring through your systems at that point already. And just as lightly you realised something was done to you - but no more you could distinguish what it was. It eased the pain, somewhat. Briefly. You wanted to thank him yet couldn’t form words; either it was exhaustion or another side effect of the withdrawal. Were it not for your dreary state you knew you’d be overrun by panic due to the helplessness. You simply had to trust those around you.

But that had gone out of the window piece by piece as the symptoms became worse and worse. You felt your grip on yourself losing as pain became your only reality.

Suddenly though, it was all over. The pain was gone as though it had never existed. You nearly screamed in joy.

And another terribly familiar sensation kicked in.

The nightmares.

They had given you the next dose of the leash - you had lived, you dimly realised. Part of you wanted to cheer, but of course you wouldn’t get to do that. With all you had just gone through, this time around, the bizarre horror trips you suffered from during the first phase of the leash would gladly take inspiration from now.

But the usually crystal clear scenarios were muddled images at best - red hot iron being pressed into your flesh agonisingly slowly. Darkness, loneliness. It still was frightening - but not as precise as it usually was. Perhaps the leash had done permanent damage to your brain. Who knew. In a twisted, grotesque way you were thankful.

Your perception of pain had become extremely skewed.

Someone else was lingering, though. A presence. They were watching you - you knew - and you didn’t like it. Nothing came from them, but you knew better than that. Presences like this greatly unnerved you. It couldn’t mean anything good.

Soon, you, the nightmares, everything - faded into dull sensations only. After that, a warm nothingness overtook you and you finally were allowed to sleep.

When you opened your eyes again, the room was dimly lit by the nightstand’s lamp. Someone was touching your hand - you turned your head slightly to find Hashirama next to you. Still, you had blink several times before you truly recognized him; truth be told you felt like a giant rock had rolled over you. Distantly you were aware of the fact he was monitoring you - his chakra was but a shadow in your system, so light, almost unnoticeable. Something else was bothering you though - but you couldn’t put your finger on it. Missing - something was missing. Quickly, you realised what it was: your chakra. You couldn’t feel your chakra at all - the sluggish, tardy sensation it had become was gone.

Instantly, panic settled in and your breathing picked up. “I- I can’t,” you began, voice raspy. Moving your jaw was as though you had to force it through jelly or something equally gooey, the muscle wouldn’t quite obey you. But that didn’t matter. Your chakra - where was your chakra? You wanted to get up, but your arms wouldn’t obey you - your pulse picked up rapidly and breathing was getting difficult again.

Hashirama shook his head, “We had to seal it off, don’t worry,” he explained swiftly, already pulling the blanket down with his free hand. In utter horror you noticed there were seals drawn not just on your chest but your arms as well. Your heartbeat was through the roof by now as your panicked gaze kept looking everywhere. He put his thumb, index and middle finger right on your sternum where the center of what you recognized belatedly was a rather complex chakra seal was located. His fingertips glowed for a moment, then he twisted his wrist.

A second later, your beloved, useless chakra was back.

You gulped and swallowed past the lump in your throat, trying to even out your breaths again. He put the blanket back over you again and regarded you with a smile, though you could easily tell his warm gaze was burdened with worry. Unlike Tobirama, Hashirama wore his moods on his sleeve. “How are you feeling?”

You blinked a couple times again, still reeling from the sudden burst of panic. Then, after a deep breath, “I’ve… been better.” To put it lightly.

He frowned sympathetically. “No doubt about it.”

You didn’t want to wait any longer. “How long… how long did we gain?”, you desperately hoped this exercise had been worth something. At all.

His smile became more mirthful. “Six hours.”

Your eyes widened slightly. Frankly, you were unsure if you should be happy or horrified by that. To you, it had felt like an eternity. And yet six hours was a huge gain on what the interval had been before. A good result. The suffering - had been worth something. Your gaze wandered to the ceiling, nodding to yourself slowly. Trying to convince yourself of this at least.

“Y/n,” Hashirama began again, now more somberly. “I won’t lie to you. I don’t know how long we can keep this up. It took a toll on you, which I am sure you are feeling right now.”

“You can say that again,” you croaked weakly, yet again testing the movement in your legs. Your toes wiggled a little. It was an achievement. Then you sighed and in what pretty much was a snap decision, you spoke up again. “Promise not to tell Tobirama,” you muttered, already feeling guilt taking a stab at your heart.

Hashirama’s frown deepened. “Promise.”

“The withdrawal is… All of this - it’s about one of the worst things I’ve ever gone through.” you shared, no more than a mere, haunted whisper. You couldn’t look at Hashirama. “And by now, I think I’ve experienced a lot.”

Hashirama hummed deeply.

“I don’t want Tobirama to know that. He will refuse to keep stretching the interval, b-but-”

“You wanted to say it.” Hashirama finished your sentence before your voice broke. “It’s alright.” He squeezed your hand lightly. “I’d wager he knows, truth be told.”

A sob broke past your tightly squeezed lips, but you nodded. Of course he’d know. You couldn’t imagine him not checking in while all of it had happened. Most likely some of your plight had gone through to the outside. And the first withdrawal had been a harrowing experience for all of them.

“You’re stable, though,” he spoke up again in a less grieved tone. “It’s no surprise you’re feeling rather weak right now. The withdrawal is quite… violent towards the body.”

“So long as it’s worth… as it’s worth all this,” you gulped, nodding. To yourself, mostly.

Hashirama smiled warmly again. “The time gained is invaluable. I’m afraid we can’t do much to heal you, yet, though.”

Just as you wanted to reply you witnessed a flicker in the shadows near the door. That had stopped startling you a long time ago - well, when you weren’t in the middle of a breakdown, that is. You couldn’t help but smile with how Tobirama lurched over instantly. His white hair was tousled, glistening even - he must've fallen out of bed into the bathroom and then teleported right over. A quaint sight - the man was punctual, sharp and kept in perfect shape.

Hashirama regarded him with raised eyebrows as he stood by the other side of your bed, mustering you through narrowly-lidded eyes with a distressed expression. He already took a breath to speak up, but you beat him to it with a quip that’d surely answer his question. “That’s fine Hashirama, I won’t be able to get up either way and Tobirama won’t need to lecture me about moving too much anymore.”

Tobirama shut his mouth immediately and scrunched his face like he had just been forced to drink some extremely bitter tea and regarded you with a look as if you had been the one to make said tea. Already, he crossed his arms. For a hot second, you worried you had gone too far - doing this in a high stress situation like this always carried a risk. But Tobirama knew you. And you knew him.

“You’re doing better.” He simply stated then, unimpressed, just raising an eyebrow.

Hashirama raised his arm to hide his face with his sleeve slightly as a chuckle shook him.

Tobirama’s hawk-like stare shot to his brother briefly before it settled back on you. “Enlighten me with some context, maybe?”, he then demanded, only slightly exasperated. He was holding back, you knew.

“I just explained the toll the withdrawal has taken on Y/n to her,” Hashirama supplied, having regained his composure again.

Tobirama regarded him with a concerned look then instantly, dropping the unnerved demeanour. “Toll?”

“Exhaustion mostly, Tobirama,” you decided to intervene before he worked himself up more. The way he gripped his black shirt again was telltale. “I can’t do more than wiggle my toes. And my fingers, maybe.” You tentatively tried it out - they stretched just fine. “What a relief,” you murmured ironically.

Tobirama’s frown grew softer again as he watched you test your limits and the corners of his mouth turned down slightly. “Y/n,” he whispered, and you could feel how much more he wanted to say.

Hashirama cleared his throat again. “We’ve painted four seals on you, in total,” he spoke up again, catching your attention immediately as he then explained how they strengthened your heart and blood pressure. “Now that you’re awake again I’ve brought down the support from them to a very low level because you’re doing so well. The exhaustion is from the immediate reaction mostly. I won’t deny, you did suffer damages there - but none of them great enough to warrant additional concern.” His gaze wandered to his brother while he spoke, well aware he was listening just as intently. If not more. Tobirama’s frown had deepened again.

You nodded. Medical jutsu were really not your forte, but you did know quite a handful of seals and could already guess as to how these worked. Which also told you they had been scraping the proverbial barrel here: normally, these things would be easily managed using chakra based methods, normally. “I surmise you’re using seals because I’m constantly teetering on the edge of chakra overload still with how I keep getting additional… problems…”

Tobirama snorted. “Some of which you wouldn’t have if you rested.” Hashirama chuckled again, this time at your expense. You took it in stride. Tobirama continued then. “You’re right though. We must avoid it as much as possible.” Hashirama nodded to that.

“Ultimately, should your condition worsen during withdrawal, we’ll have to overstep that boundary. But I’m very much trying to avoid it. It’s additional stress you don’t need right now.” He did sound quite serious about it. You gulped. Chakra overload was nothing to sneeze at.

But then again you felt like you had just about dipped into every kind of torment available as of now. What’s one more?

Hashirama ended his monitoring then and gently slipped away, both inwardly and outwardly. “I’ll get some rest now. You’re stable. And while I know Tobirama is very, ah, adamant about this-”

“Anija,” the growl came instantly.

“-you really need to get as much rest as you can. We’ll see to support you more using any non-chakra based means which is going to entail some medications. I’ll… see you soon again,” he finished with a sorrowful smile that managed to soothe you and at the same time filled you with dread.

You swallowed. “Thank you, Hashirama.”

He nodded and left the room quietly.

Tobirama sat down on the side of your bed as soon as he had shut the door, taking your hand in his and stroking your skin gently with his thumb. “How are you really doing, Y/n?”, he inquired, the timbre of his voice gentle enough to let his concern truly show.

You gave him a brave smile. “I’ll manage, Tobi,” that, you knew. You knew you had to. Though you felt like breaking into tears when you said it.

You didn’t fool him for one second. His breath caught momentarily; his grip became firmer and you felt his chakra graze over your network, covering it warmly. You couldn’t help but sigh contently when he did; the sensation never failed to comfort you. But his expression remained distraught, to say the least. He knew you well enough - what your avoidant answer meant. It was kindness not to inquire further. And maybe protection, too. You didn’t want to speak more about this. Or think of it.

It’d come around again soon enough.

“You’re not taking good care of yourself,” you chided then softly. “I’d ruffle your obviously wet hair, but I can’t right now.” You cracked a weak smile.

He clicked his tongue. “It’s been a pretty intense day, Y/n,” he countered evenly.

“I think I can count the days you left the house in such a hurry on one hand, Tobi,” you replied, not bothering to keep the sorrow down any longer. It saddened you to see how all this took its toll on him - your problems, your condition. Of course you’d do the same for him in a heartbeat - and just as well, you were aware what your sight made him feel. But it just hurt.

His eyebrow arched up again slowly. “When I’ve got such urgent business to tend to, I will run the risk of being seen with wet hair, but I’ll face it bravely,” he countered sarcastically, eliciting a little chuckle from you. There was no changing his mind anyway. His lips drew into a lopsided smile of his own, too.

Finally, you sighed quietly. “Don’t let me keep you, then.” You dreaded being alone. But it couldn’t be helped.

His smile faded and his eyebrows furrowed again. “I can stay, Y/n.”

“No, you can’t,” you replied with more resolve, “Because then all the time we gained won’t matter. Soon. Just a bit longer.” You weren’t sure if you were telling him or yourself that.

He must’ve picked up on it, because his other hand grasped your arm too and stroked over your skin gently while his gaze had turned decidedly sorrowful. “I’ll be back soon to check on you,” he promised quietly, but you could guess on the fierceness behind that. It eased your budding sense of dread, somewhat.

“Thank you,” you whispered, “Can you…,” you swallowed, blinking. The request made you feel so silly - shameful, even. But you couldn’t help it.

He tilted his head when you didn’t finish your sentence. “Yes…?”

“Can you please leave the light on? And… don’t close the curtains,” you finally whimpered meekly, avoiding eye-contact now. This alone was a confession to what you could only perceive as weakness due to your recent trauma, but you couldn’t deny how much you needed it right now.

Tobirama’s mien turned more sorrowful, but he nodded. “Of course, Y/n.” He sat on the side of the bed a moment longer and simply shared your connection - a gesture you were immeasurably grateful for. It was you who ultimately nodded and decided it was time he left - despite the ungodly hour.

“C’mon, then.” You tried another brave smile. _____ author’s notes: Some explanations: 'cardiovascular' means pertaining to the heart and the blood vessels, i.e. blood pressure and essentially keeping the body's organs supplied with nutrients, and more immediately important, oxygen. 'sepsis' is a real thing! it's when the body's own immune system causes such a strong reaction in the whole body to an infection it starts to damage its own organs. since reader isn't infected, it's 'like' sepsis. there are also real life complications of different diseases that can, in fact, cause a sepsis-like condition! 'capillary leak' is something that ties in directly to sepsis. because of the body's immune response, the blood vessels start to 'leak' fluids into surrounding tissue. every had an infected  body part? splinter in your toe, hand? got red, big, swollen? well, that's the same thing. it's not good when the body does it everywhere! but it does make sense because by 'opening' the capillaries, the white blood cells can get out and do their job in the tissue. hooo boy, that was a lot more than i ever thought i'd explain, oopz. thank you so much for reading as always!!!