#cause I think that experience honestly changed my life cause it showed me how much i thrive in hands on science

[standamianwayne]

yandere!batfam/damian’s twin!reader

stepmom selina anyone?? anyone interested in some stepmom selina?? (me, i am)

i feel like selina would be such a girl mom but also i have this image of damian’s twin being like his opposite. sooo i think the dynamic between her and selina would be fun cause it’s like black sheep & white sheep.

selina would try and teach her the art of stealth and reader would teach her the art of idk friendship?? no but fr i feel like reader and selina would be such a fun duo. bruce’s girls tbh like they team up and they’re unstoppable. also can you imagine the boy advice selina would give? “yeah just steal one of his prized possessions and he’ll come after you. works every time 😏” like okay thanks queen! in terms of like yandere behavior, i feel like she’s one to plant the little seeds of doubt in reader’s mind about others. like “aw sweetie it’s okay, you’re way too good for them! you never do anything wrong 🥹.” meanwhile the person in question is filing for bankruptcy cause their valuables are gone.

barbara is so ‘cool older sister’ coded it’s actually insane. she’s incredibly smart and good with tech, plus she’s really pretty and cool as hell??? reader is like “hiii hello hiii ” and she INSTANTLY becomes her newest role model.

her like ‘yandereness’ would probably be similar to tim’s but instead of trying to keep reader home, she more so just watches her. like if reader wants to go to a party and it’s on a bad corner of town, barbs will give her directions to go to avoid the most trouble. probably the least likely to kill someone tbh i just can’t see her doing it.

reader and cassandra they were both raised by assassins so they probably bond over that and then how life is after leaving. it’s canon that cass can speak (which we’ve seen her do) but she uses body language instead of words. with this, i like to think that she can teach reader how to read people easier. you know, as a little bonding activity! also damian is canonically good with music (the violin specifically i believe), so reader is likely the same. so now just imagine reader playing an instrument while cass dances 🙏.

cass’s type of yandere is mostly just watching from the shadows. like reader brings a boyfriend home and cass is in the corner standing like mothman. if anyone does reader wrong TRUST cass will be kicking the hell out of them 🙏🙏.

stephanie, like duke, is the closest to the normal sibling experience one can get 😭 but tbh i see her as being more as a best friend that’s a ‘sister figure.’ plus i like stephcass so screw you that’s canon now. having improvised fashion shows at 4am, gossiping about everything and everyone (which she then tells cass but shhhh), having self care days like that’s her bff! with steph i feel like she’s not the type to actually attack anyone directly, but instead just telling cass and/or tim about whatever (or whoever) it is reader is having problems with. now if they’re patrolling together and reader gets attacked? yeah she’ll beat the other person up! (or at least get a couple hits in if reader already took care of it)

now that the fam is written for, please please please send any requests y’all wanna see! romantic (outside the batfam ONLY!!! no sweet home alabama here) or platonic, feel free to send an ask or leave a comment!

heyyyy… heyyyy…. how yall doing….? 😔😔 sorry for disappearing buuuut thanks so much for sticking around! sorry if this part doesn’t quite live up to the other two but somehow the girls are harder to write for?? i hope i got them but honestly any criticism would be appreciated. also i kinda skimped over the yandere part for helena so sorry abt that😭. might go back in and change it but who knows.

also i’ve been fixated on conner kent for some reason???? that’s my pookie guys yall dont get it.

anyways love love LOVE yall so much bye byeeee ❤️

[ramblinscramblin]

May I request scout and demo (and maybe heavy if you want) with a ftm reader??? It can be any scenario NSFW, sfw idc. I'm hungry and I need food 😭 (you don't gotta do this btw just a little thought ♥️)

-‼️

→With a FTM reader!

Genre: slice of life, fluff! Male reader!

Characters: Scout, Demo, Heavy

Of COURSE I will write this. Relationship left pretty ambiguous. Hope you enjoy! Thank you again for the ask!

Scout

Scout definitely doesn’t realize without you spelling it out for him, no matter how “feminine” you may present.

Asks A LOT of questions, borders on invasive, but is just genuinely pretty confused and intrigued about it.

“So… wait, you were born a chick, but now you’re a guy? How’s dat work?”

“Scout, we have been over this. Literally ten times,” you say, exasperated.

After the initial long and honestly exhausting conversation, the two of you feel closer for it. He’s secretly sentimental as hell, so he appreciates you telling him so much, like it genuinely makes him feel so trusted.

When you come out to him, the support is not instant, as he tends to show these kinds of things in really covert ways, he doesn’t want anyone knowing he has a big heart.

But the second someone says something out of line that is when his support is the most apparent. Always corrects someone when they misgender you, but if they continue after he corrects them? Buddy, it’s over.

You tell scout you appreciate it, but you can stand up for yourself. He’s not really having it though, too hot headed to let it go.

Genuinely forgets your trans at time.

“Why don’t you ever use the urinals? S’weird,” the commented once as you left the bathroom together.

“Scout.”

“What?” He blinked at you dumbly for a few seconds, before realization dawns on him “oh shit! Dats right, sorry.”

He’s trying his best.

Demoman

Demo is part of team “not really my business so it doesn’t affect me”

As in it doesn’t really affect the way that he feels about you, or the way he treats you.

Doesn’t ask any questions unless it’s clear to him it’s something you’d like to talk about.

Depending on closeness he may even feel confident in making some jokes about it. Only if you find them funny though, absolutely wouldn’t do it if made you upset/uncomfortable.

Is big into giving you male experiences that you may have missed out on, mostly cliché and stereotypical things, some of which you have probably definitely done before.

“Demo, I think we’re a little too old to be playing trains right now,” you say, holding a train in your hand.

“Fine then, I’ll just clean it up then,” Demo said with a huff.

You stop him “well… I didn’t say that.”

Let’s you speak for yourself in most settings, but if you ever express your discomfort in a situation he won’t hesitate to remove you from it/remove the person causing this discomfort.

Doesn’t make a huge scene, will take the blame for you saying it’s him who’s got a problem.

Demo supports you when you need it, encourages you through your medical transition if you choose to do so/if you haven’t already.

Alternatively, reassures you that you’re not less of a man for not having surgeries or using HRT if you choose not to.

I honestly believe that Demo has been around a lot of queer people, he’s the world’s best trans ally.

Heavy

Heavy, like Scout has a lot of questions when you come out. Isn’t nearly as invasive and holds back anything that he thinks may make you uncomfortable.

It doesn’t change how he views you, thinks of you as man no matter what.

Really appreciates that he’s someone you trust enough to tell, even if he doesn’t fully get it, he understands that it can be a nerve wracking thing to talk about.

Recommends medic if you want to have any surgeries done, respectfully you decline. Fearing for the rest of your organs well being.

Heavy does a lot of reading to ensure he gets things right, but only brings up your transness if you do.

Loves hearing about your trans experience if you tell him about it, will listen intently taking mental notes.

Doesn’t feel the need to protect you, you’re a grown man who handled himself perfectly fine without him. But, like Demo, if he feels you getting a little out of your depth all he really has to do is come stand behind you.

Gender affirming nicknames, always. I feel like Heavy is big into nicknames some of his favorite for you is “big man” “guy” “handsome” if he’s feeling bold.

“How is the big man today,” he asked coming up to you one day.

You chuckle a little bit “it really should be me asking you that.”

Being with Heavy is a testosterone booster, just enjoy being masculine together.

OOOOO I LOVED WRITING THIS SO MUCH. I may revisit this idea later and add more of the mercs, for now I have more asks to get to! Thanks so much for the ask! (*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)

[pseudophan]

Hi! I am very very new to the Dan and Phil world. A friend of a friend had a spare ticket to their Oslo show and I went along. This was my very first Dan and Phil experience. I had heard their names, but went in completely blind after all who doesn't love a theatre trip to a foreign country. I had a wonderful time, even if I didn't really understand a lot of the backstory it was so much fun, and i thought i sort of had it worked out. I have come home and binged their content now, but the more I watch, the more confused I am. I watched the Anthony Padilla Dan interview tonight and that was the point where I thought I need help. I was advised head here, pick someone nice and avoid twitter so here I am. When I was watching the show in Oslo, it seemed to me that it was the most married unmarried couple ever, having fun together on stage, poking fun at all the crazy that they had faced together over the years, however the more I indulge in their content the more I am confused as to what is real or not. Is the whole stage couple thing just an act? Were they together but now not? Have I misunderstood the whole show? That Anthony interview Dan seemed to be saying he was very single and ready to find a man, so I am very very lost. Google was no help. I don't want to over step but after watching them perform on stage, they seemed completely infatuated and in love with each other and in recent videos i watched. It is all very confusing. Whatever they are, they know how to put on a show. They have a new fan in me, albeit a slightly confused one. Hope you don't think I am overstepping.

first of all, that's an insane introduction to dan and phil and i love it. i was also at the oslo show! it was a good one

as for your question, well you see the thing is dan howell is chronically full of shit. that time period was a bit weird and he was a bit annoying and he had this "single and ready to mingle" bit going, god knows why cause it wasn't very believable, but.. idk, i think perhaps it was a mix of just that fitting his brand of "comedian" better and him desperately wanting to get away from the Dan And Phil label, but because he couldn't ever fully commit to it it just fell flat imo. like you can't be on youtube and on stage claiming you're single and wanna fuck around while also appearing in your boyfriend's videos acting married as fuck, it just doesn't work. and please no one start up that godforsaken open relationship debate again cause it's just not relevant, he wasn't selling open relationship he was selling single lol, at least in that anthony interview

but like all that said i don't really think he was trying to sell it to the phannies or any of his most hardcore fans, and i think that's exactly why he was willing to appear in phil's videos still showing a completely different, much more real, side of himself. the whole Single Dan On The Prowl thing was for himself and for random people who happened to be watching, more casual members of the audience

there's a looot more to be said about dan and the way he wants to be viewed, he talks about it himself a bit in the new show but you probably don't remember it that well if you saw it as an outsider like it's hardly the most memorable part of.. all of that haha, but basically to answer your question: dan's just kinda like that sometimes. you get used to it. or maybe you won't have to since he seems ready to finally maybe potentially possibly drop some of the pretence and just.... be. or he'll change his mind again and be back to bullshitting in a few months you honestly never know with that guy

but yeah dan in that era... grain of salt is all. it's just a persona and a desperate plea to be viewed as something, anything other than Dan From Dan And Phil. it's just kind of hard to get away from that when the other half of your double act is also your life partner, you know?

[mercy-misrule]

apologies for discoursing a little but i've been immersed in arcane fic and it's making me think

people are so fucking weird about writing disabled characters.

you know what sucks? ignoring or erasing disability.

you know what also sucks? thinking that disabled people don't want to exist without disability.

there's not an easy way out of this topic. you don't get a quick and clear way to write chronic pain.

as a disabled person, with chronic pain, i cannot express how much i would change my body to not experience it. it does not add anything to my life that's good or noble. I would rip out my knees and ankles with my bare hands if it could lead to a world where movement did not constantly cause me pain.

when people write Viktor getting to have a pain free existence, it is life affirming to read. because, god what a dream, the concept of health.

but when people write fic that suggests that without his disability he's somehow a better person? that sucks. that's gross to read.

and the same thing goes the other way.

reading fic where Viktor deals with his disability, lives his life, hates it, is used to it, succeeds while dealing with the discomfort and distress it causes, that's also life affirming. that's realistic and grounded.

reading fic where Viktor is only defined by his disability, is a figure of pity, is shunned, is infantalised, is helpless is gross. its also completely out of whack with any canon.

people are obsessed with writing Viktor as having experienced really active and verbal discrimination, but i think the more interesting and, honestly sinister thing that Arcane shows him surviving is the passive, ingrained ableism of the system.

People aren't out there throwing fruit at him, or calling him names, they are ignoring his disability and health. The way disability can render you invisible is so much more connected to real life and also the canon of the show.

Lmao, this post isn't meant to be reassuring, I guess. I just want people to be thoughtful when writing disability and consider the intent of what they write.

I also don't want people thinking they are saying anything valuable when they are like "writing Viktor getting to heal is bad!"

Can it be? Sure. 100%. It can suck so much.

But is it absolutely a thing real life disabled people want? Many of us. Especially chronic pain. It's not easy!

...I'm not going to write my rant about disabled sexuality yet, but it's in my brain. It's lurking in there.

[pellowinksx]

Hey Pellow, hope you're doing great. I recently found your blog and it has been so inspiring, I read your posts almost everyday either for motivation or just for funsies. So thanks so much for being so clear.

I had a question based on something personal happening with me and I wanted your opinion. So I understand that negative thoughts about my specific manifestation should be flipped and that circumstances don't matter. I completely get that, the thing is I don't have negative thoughts about my manifestation, I don't contradict them, HOWEVER, I have negative thoughts about other things like stuff ppl would've done or said to me in the past (unrelated to my manifestation), so I guess I'm asking if that would affect it even though I believe that it wouldnt. But is that related to self concept?

I also wanted your opinion because I like how you relate manifestation to your religion, I'm a Catholic, but I do have a strong appreciation for the Muslim religion and try to understand it as much as possible, so yeah let me know if what I said makes sense.

Thank you ❀(*´▽`*)❀♡

oh hii! this is so interesting actually I had to sit and think with this one for a while ♡♡

so I personally think it does not affect literally anything that has to do with your desire, unless it makes you think you cant have them. and the reason why I think this is because;

I held myself back for a while trying so hard to make myself the perfect confident baddie bombshell hottie that the community told me to be. I was like 13 and trying so hard to be everything I'm not, however I always felt numb to my desires. I didn't think I couldn't get them but I didn't think of myself as god (obviously, I'm muslim) nor did I think I was some queen.

before I had even changed my appearance, a lot of people perceived me as pretty, lots of girls would talk behind my back and dislike me out of jealousy. and it made me realize who I am in other peoples eyes. I have autism so it was hard for me to perceive myself. Until I realized I can just create someone and become them.

A lot of people perceived me as confident and pretty and bubbly. but I saw myself as someone dull and stoic. because thats who I really was, I just put on a show infront of my friends and peers

(this sounds like a vent but bear with me girl I promise it'll make sense)

I realized that I was never insecure, I was always confident and comfortable with myself. I just didn't think of myself as some high and almighty being. the internet tells you that you're god and you're a queen and people should bow down and kiss your feet. which is cool, if you're into that khalas. however I think that can lead you to arrogance which can cause you to sin

(I am not trying to impose limiting belief I am saying personal experiences from a religious person)

confidence can look like being numb to people who suggest you're something lower, confidence can look like ignoring bad thoughts about yourself. confidence can literally just be yourself being an existing being. Because you don't need to all day everyday act like you're the shit and you're better than everyone if you don't want to.

the negative thoughts I used to tell myself even before realizing I was perceived as someone I should be, NEVER interrupted my life experiences. it never imposed on my manifestations, friendships, appearance, none of it. Because as humans we have ups and downs. we go through phases, we go through hate cycles. and thats OKAY. literally there is nothing wrong with hating yourself for 2 hours and then thinking you're the shit its OK. we, (especially as women) go through conflicting feelings all the time throughout the day.

Where am I trying to go with this?

self concept doesn't matter and it honestly never has. it all just goes back to the state you dwell on. YOU give meanings to states YOU give meanings to thoughts however its always netural. so if you think about the past, and be like "oh well maybe I couldn't" thats okay...because you still can. the self concept part comes automatically, after you keep affirming and telling yourself you have something your mind will finally click and be like "wait I'm goated" the law always works. You arent above the law sweetie. one opposing thought doesn't cancel out a dominant state. its like this->

𐀪 thinking "netural thought"

𐀪 thinks a thought that opposes it "netural thought canceler"

𐀪 continues with its day and decides to keep thinking "netural thought"

whatever state you TURN TO again and again will manifest. THATS THE LAW

I'm so sorry if this was long and confusing and dumb but the short answer is no, it will not affect your manifestation. we do not need to be in "high vibrations" 24/7 we just need to say "I have it" and keep saying that over and over.

ciao+kisses! -pellow ♪(^∇^*)

[hemingwaystan]

A Guide To Actually Portraying The Lords Part 2: House Beneviento

Hello, fellow RE8 fans, this is the second part of a rant/post/open letter/essay which I intend as a detailed essay with five parts on how they should've portrayed the lords and then Miranda, with more realism and nuance, because they are nuanced characters when you actually think but Capcom is so bad at showing it. This is my opinion, feel free to disagree.

This is the section I'd change the least of but that doesn't mean I don't have a ton of shit to say so here we go. I'd say the player shouldn't be lured to the manor, the Duke just tells you where it is, no Mia picture, assuming we keep Mia because honestly? Ethan as a single dad makes more sense. No Mia bashing it's just that a marriage, if we think with even a tiny bit of logic can't survive all that. Also single dad rep is so rare in media. Because the player being lured to the manor, to me, just feels illogical to her portrayal otherwise, think about it. Donna is portrayed as a recluse who almost never leaves her house right? She probably didn't even want to have a Rose flask. She's the least involved in Miranda's work. Why would she want to bring another person, let alone one set on killing her or at least from her perspective but honestly pretty much true, to her house? Why would she in any universe want a home-invasion. So the player arrives in the manor and begins tripping balls. I'd keep this mostly the same with a handful of major changes, Angie and Donna don't do anything that could be misinterpreted to cause the braindead infantilization of them some people have been doing.

Throughout the house you'll experience flashbacks, one of your life in the mannequin section, and 2-3 of Donna's life, besides that mostly general horror stuff but also those. You'll see a few major moments in Donna's life so the characterization isn't limited to just reading stuff. But right before the end, in a vision, she cries, she has no idea you're seeing this as with the others. These visions of her only happen after the player first gets a hit off on Angie (Donna) which I'll instead put around 65% in. Killing Angie is still the focus through this because as far as you know Angie is not secretly Donna and they're, of course, trying to kill you. This happens because it lessens her control over her powers which she had before but in the pain is also experiencing a spiral because like, wouldn't you if you were in this situation, especially if you already had Major Depression. So we see our own reflection in the proverbial mirror but we also see manifestations of Donna's life and emotions.

The player will also be attacked by groups of armed dolls more than once, maybe every time you break them in defense Angie gets angrier causing some kind of increase in danger. Just because you get one stab off on Angie early doesn't mean it will end quickly, because Angie could be anywhere, not just among the dolls, hiding in any number of places, maybe even in the basement at times although the baby would've already happened by now. Trying to destroy Angie is just the goal but you have to do all the other Resident Evil puzzle shit throughout as before. And I'll put this to rest, the baby is and will be a hallucination, being eaten by it is representative of losing your mind. Why the fuck would she keep a giant baby in her basement? This is kind of out there but toward the end their could be like a sanity meter that goes down slowly. Like 90% in, you're in the room where she said "You can't leave, I won't let you." earlier. And right as you're finally about to defeat Angie the mirror shatters and you see the actual world.

Donna is on the floor, the blood is still on the wall, but she's very much not dead, just very injured, she'd survive because Cadou regen if you don't continue. You see her face either way because the veil was knocked off during the fight so there'll be real emotion to see in her expression. She begs you not to kill her. It's your decision whether you do or not, if you don't she'll show you where she hid the Rose flask, this also means she might say a couple things to the player, maybe good luck or something, Angie will say something too so it's proven and not just obvious that they're independent entities that are closely connected. Maybe Donna gives you a really good defensive charm and if you do kill her you'll get Angie and a Donna crystal to sell to the Duke for like combined 1.5x what Angie is worth in game, you'll also get a horrible charm with a directly opposing bonus as the one she would give you in the spare route (this is more for storytelling purposes as opposed to the kill one being useful) but you will have to search the house for the flask which will be a fucking pain but still a puzzle with clues. But past the gameplay decision, the real, meaningful choice is, are you putting a mentally ill servant of Miranda that tried to murder you out of her misery or is she not evil, just a victim of Miranda that deserves to live.

[dreaming-of-barbi]

That's so fucked up that people are romantizing Franco, because even Red Barrels are showing him as a total creep and disgusting person. In Outlast Tag I have a feeling that some artists are making him completly different character, making him charming/safe/lovely. I even have seen some people who were drawing him with normal face (without big forehead) and you couldn't tell them that it's the right character design! I feel like Franco enjoyers are more agressive than fans of other Outlast character. Even with Coyle/Eddie simps they seem to understand that they are evil and they murder others, but with Franco I feel like they can take it when someone tell them that he's grown up, murder people in very brutal way and his voice lines are just disgusting... it really seems that people are getting agressive only because someone tell some shit about 🎀✨️Franco🎀✨️. I know his fans isn't the only one that have stick in their ass (cause I seen a lot of shit bout Coyle/Big Grunts/Easterman etc.) but yall need to understand that FRANCO IS A GROWN ASS MAN and you would run for your life if you'd meet someone in irl as 1% fucked up as he is. Saying that he's just a Baby and he made nothing wrong is just 🤮 and problem is in yall if you justificate him and things he made.

idk how to tell you this ,,,, but this game is fictional. The characters are fictional. You're free to feel however you want about them, just like I and anyone else is.

I partially agree with the part about changing his appearance to make him look more "normal" or whatever, but at the same time people are allowed to interpret their favs however they want to. They can draw / write for him however they want to. I don't like "fixing" his face, just because it (personally) feels like saying "he's too ugly", but again, that's just me. As an artist, I know that people are going to have different interpretations of a character I like. It's just part of other people existing in the world. Not everyone thinks like you do, and that's okay.

Do you know how many posts I saw (and STILL see) about Eddie Gluskin, doing essentially the same thing as what you said people do with Franco?? That man would cut you open to "make a baby in you" no hesitation and people still ""romanticize"" him (me fuckin included I LOVE YOU EDDIE). Its just part of liking fucked up characters, some people are going to want to make them more "normal".

Personally, I see the normalization as more like wanting to give him some normalcy in his life, because of his past / lore. I love the idea of letting Franco have a normal life, be a normal person. A life where he never had to deal with the stupid Mafia stuff, had a decent father and never ran into Murkoff, having a normal, happy life. But, I also seriously adore his original, fucked up character.

Honestly, who actually cares if people are "justifying" his actions??? None of them are real. He is not real. I have never understood the sentiment that you have to make sure people know you don't justify a fictional characters actions... they are not real. It's not a real person. None of the things he did happened.

Maybe it's just me, but I would not run from someone like him. That's not some edge lord "im so evil and dark" bs but because of my real life experiences. Been with and around people in my life / family who are quite like him and I didn't run.

I imagine some of us are using it as a sort of coping mechanism, because (at least for me) some of us dealt with people who treated us like he would. Though, that's getting into personal territory, and I won't try and speak for others.

All I can really say is either learn that not everybody's going to have the same ideas as you or block the tag. Sorry if that's too harsh a response, but life is too short to really give that much of a fuck about someone /something other people like.

And I've said this before but this is literally Outlast, all of the characters are this fucked up, it's not just him.

Like does no one remember Outlast 2??? Does no one remember the pile of dead burnt babies, or the hundreds of other fucked up things in that game?? I really feel like Franco does not compare.

So, can we please just be over with this now? I mean, drama is totally fun and I love it, but I can imagine others don't.

[restinslices]

I don’t know if I requested this already but how do you think the Lin Kuei bros would react when each of them got their first gf?

It’s 5am but I’m avoiding sleep cause sleep paralysis been kicking my ass recently so here we are. I didn’t know if you were imagining a certain age or how detailed you wanted it so they’re all at different ages

Bi-Han

Bi-Han doesn't have that much experience when it comes to dating even if he's the oldest brother 

Growing up he was taught to mainly focus on his clan since he'd be the next Grandmaster so naturally dating is something that was at the back of his mind 

When he got his first girlfriend he'd probably be older. So he's mature when it comes to handling himself but he's not mature when it comes to romantic relationships 

I think the first week would be the hardest because he's both nonchalant but also worried if that makes sense

Nonchalant because he doesn't physically show any emotion besides disdain but also worry because whenever he hears about new relationships, people are always so giddy. They're glowing. They're jumping up and down and are cuddled next to their partner all the time. 

Bi-Han though? He doesn't do any of that. He's not sure what he should do and since he doesn't know, it makes him worry that maybe he made the wrong choice. Maybe he took the bit of affection you gave him and ran with it and it went outta hand 

After that first week though, he still wants to be with and around you so he starts to relax and realize he just reacts differently to things 

Some things he would struggle with since this is his first relationship. He'd struggle with the idea of being around his partner so often. Does he enjoy your presence? Yeah. But he also wants a lot of alone time 

Idk how long his first relationship would last. He gives me both “we're in this forever” and “forever isn't realistic” vibes. 

I honestly don't think he'd change much, which probably has a lot to do with the fact that he's a grown man. He's past all the intense teenage emotions. 

I don't even think his partner would notice a difference tbh. He trails behind you more but besides that, he still acts like your friend Bi-Han which isn't necessarily a bad thing 

Because it's his first relationship, I don't see him initiating things like physical touch that much. I think his partner would have to either ask or hint at it 

Cutsey things just don't come naturally to him. 

Is he happy about his first relationship? Absolutely. He just doesn't see the big deal with certain things like hand holding or other romantic expectations. Honestly I can see that being the cause of his first relationship ending depending on who it is but if it's someone that's on the same wavelength or understands lack of affection doesn't mean lack of love then I could see it lasting forever. 

Kuai Liang 

Kuai Liang was probably the first to start dating 

Does he have responsibilities? Yes. But that wouldn't stop him from experiencing certain things, even if he had to do it sneakily. 

He was a young teenager when he finally got his first girlfriend. She was apart of a nearby clan and although he was told many times not to focus on women, he couldn't help it. 

It was a simple friendship but it turned into something more. A secret relationship no one could know about

I think Kuai Liang would be happy to finally have a girlfriend. It's something else in his life that gives him happiness besides his family. 

Also this is a teenager so he's geeked as fuck. He tries to appear all calm and cool but it wouldn't really work 

Would always try to sneak away to see her. He wants to spend as much time with her as he can. Half of it is because he's a teenager, half of it is because he genuinely likes her. 

I also think he likes exchanging gifts. It gave them both something to remember the other bye

As a young boy, he wants to tell everyone but because of circumstances, he can’t. Besides that though I just honestly think he’s happy waking up everyday knowing he’ll see her even if it’s only for a few minutes.

She was a break for him. He's always the mediator between Bi-Han and Tomas. He always had to train hard so he could assist Bi-Han when he became grandmaster. When he was with her he was relaxed. 

Enjoys the company that comes with having a partner, even if a lot of the times he's too busy to see her 

He knows he doesn’t know much about relationships, but that’s ok. Life’s a journey and he’s willing to learn and communicate for this girl

Considering it says “first relationship”, that means it doesn't last 

I think the reason would be they eventually get caught. His dad has a tighter leash on him and she's sent to a different area her clan occupies 

He wouldn't take this well but there's really nothing he can do

Takes him awhile to get over even if it was some silly teenage romance according to others. 

Tomas Vrbada

Tomas gets into his first relationship in his late teens to early twenties

I can see him telling Kuai Liang immediately and asking for advice 

I can see it being a friends to lovers kind of thing. She's an earthrealmer in the know about all the realms and stuff and knows Madam Bo. Tomas is easy to like so they become friends then he asks her out on accident 

Tomas, like Kuai Liang, would be happy to have a significant other. He'd like having a girlfriend because this is his person. He became a Lin Kuei because the grandmaster felt shame about his clan murdering Tomas’ family. To Tomas, that's not him actually wanting him. It's guilt 

Having a girlfriend though means she's with him because she loves him. She actually likes him and chose him.

Very proud boyfriend. He’s surprised he has someone to call his and thinks she’s everything 

He's younger so he's not really confident which I think would show. He constantly wants to be around her out of insecurity. He's worried that she'd leave and find someone else 

He thinks he’s not good enough for anything

Can we blame him? He has Bi-Han constantly making him feel shitty. Sure he’s not the only reason Tomas is insecure but he’s not helping

He's also paranoid about anyone else he loves being hurt. People get hurt, he understands that but he cannot say goodbye to someone else prematurely. Especially someone that makes him so happy

Since it's his first relationship, he doesn't know how to properly communicate these feelings 

He genuinely likes this person and wants to be something serious. The problem is all this hovering and worry could cause problems in the relationship and lead to it ending. 

His solution would be trying to change himself 

Letting go is not something he wants to do. This person makes him happy so why should he? He could definitely change and do better. 

And since this is his first relationship, he’s nervous something like this won’t happen again. 

Unfortunately for him you can’t get rid of insecurities easily and you have to love yourself before loving anyone else

You'd expect him to have the longest lasting relationship but he probably wouldn't. The relationship wouldn't end with harsh feelings but he'd still be upset by it and it'd encourage him to work on himself 

I promise you Kuai Liang is my favorite brother. Idk how Bi-Han got around 440 words and him and Tomas got around 380- I also plan on writing angst after I eventually go to sleep so tune in

[prettynalilmagic]

ℙ𝕚𝕔𝕜 𝔸 ℂ𝕒𝕣𝕕: 𝕊𝕙𝕒𝕕𝕠𝕨 𝕎𝕠𝕣𝕜- ℝ𝕖𝕡𝕣𝕖𝕤𝕤𝕚𝕠𝕟

Decks: Considerate Cat Tarot Vol 2, The Dark Mirror, Tarot of Pagan Cats, The Wild Unknown Archetypes

This reading will be shadow work based on what exactly are we repressing and not aware of. And how to work through it with advice from me and tarot. Take everything as a small guide, tarot is a tool for guidance and not to see or predict the future.

Pile one

First things first, Go get therapy.

"Its not about choosing the chains.

Its about choosing them again and again."

Pile one welcome to your little section. So, I had a theme card for your overall shadow, which was Addicted. At first, I was troubled with finding out exactly what type of addiction was causing you to repress your shadow, and I kept pulling cards and I realized that your shadow is built on way too many situations that come back to your dissatisfaction from your life. Pile One your addicted to hating yourself. You have heavy cards that show me that there’s this feeling of self-inflicted despair. Your shadow emits contempt for life, you hate yourself and honestly hate life overall. The hanged Man in reverse shows me that you grew up very much internally, most of your experiences are based inwardly as you felt left behind on life. Everyone seemed to reject you. Your loved ones, and people who are supposed to be close, turned their backs on you at some point so in turn you did the same. The world rejected you growing up. Life showed you, that you aren’t deserving of love, so you internalized that and have subconsciously clung onto that delusion.

Pile one do you feel like nothing can change you? Nothing can fix you? That things will stay the same or get worse over time? Have you even thought about how you feel about yourself truly? When was the last time you willingly reflected on your own self-image? Do you think there's any motivation for you to live your life beyond what traps you? Going back to your theme card, your repression is very much self-imprisoned. You don’t see you can work through any internal conflict and you in turn have been chaining your own self to depression. Nobody is perfect, that's true, but self-discovery is beautiful however it's also difficult. This won't be an easy task.

Mentally, you’re at rock bottom almost every day. Do you dissociate a lot? Do you even know if you do? Because I recently discovered that I dissociate a whole lot throughout my life and have never known I was doing it. Human brains are truly mind blowing, it can take and hold so much stress and pain, then hide it away from us so when we don’t keep reliving and feeling all that hurt.

Nobody wants to struggle and be depressed, and our brain very much plays a part in helping us hide it away. Chances are you downplay or don’t care to think or consider your own shadow self.

I'm not fit to diagnose, but pile one look into Complex Trauma, C-PTSD, and being Shame Bound. Learn about various types of traumas, habits, and attachment styles on YouTube it will help you get a rough idea on understanding what you need to improve on without using therapy. However, please if you can, look into seeing a psychologist and a therapist.

I know life is super tough as it is for you and you might not be able to afford it but research if there's anything you can afford and if you truly have searched, look into self-help groups online and self-help programs as well. There are free eBooks you can illegally get, pirate that shit. Get a tarot deck for yourself and do shadow work readings. Also please stop reading all the dumbass future partner and next lover readings, invest love into your own damn self before investing it onto some person you most likely haven’t even met or aren’t going to meet. Sorry it's a pet peeve of mine. Chances are you’re reading this on your phone or computer, get on the notes app and write out that little ass of yours. Please there’s still so many ways to make your own mental stability easier on yourself. There's so much stuff you can do if you truly look into it, I recommend watching Patrick Teahan, Heidi Priebe, Psych2Go, and Kati Morton, they're my personal favorite therapy youtubers, and they can help you.

Okay going back to the cards, and not my own personal input, the hanged man in reversed also shows me that it was your environment growing up that has formed you into who you are. Life for you looked like everything was so big and almost outta reach for you to grasp, but you’re still here, you have developed habits that has made growing up easier, you learn to get by.

Which leads me to the present, you got the 9 of cups, meaning that your experiences have made you who you are. It ties back to all those built of moments of isolation and lack of love for yourself that you grew up with. Obviously when we grow up knowing others are treating or making you feel some type of way, you take from that and build your mindset on all those experiences.

This hatred is what we use to get by and we build ourselves up to work with our hatred. You know you felt like you are replaceable or have a deep fear of being left behind, we go outta our way to justify being the ones to leave others and replace other people with anything else to get that same feeling, until the same trigger happens. It's a never-ending cycle and growing up it can actually be helpful. As a child we only experienced all the heavy emotions and were not shown consistent or significant amount of effort for our needs, so we learn to not expect that and run away from anything that triggers that little child in you. No one was there to show love so obviously unhealthy habits and mindsets get developed and grow up with us and only gets worse and worse as time flies by. Pile one, you are depressed and hopeless but cheer up, just because your life hasn’t been the best does not equate to that being a set-in stone reality for the rest of your life.

You can make your own life better; the daughter of cups reverse shows me that there's this desire to play around with stuff, just do it. Stop thinking about it, do it. Fuck shit up, stop being afraid of messing stuff up, you think the ones who have hurt you stopped when they were making you feel not cared for or loved? Nope, so just have fun.

Do that fun hobby idea you been thinking about. Get messy with life, even if it is creating something very sloppy. You want to express yourself some type of way but feel like you shouldn’t? Well just do it, even if you feel like a joke or an idiot just try it and see how it feels. Even if you don’t necessarily want to do something or show off a different look or skill, and your more so afraid of making mistakes and not being perfect, just push that thought to the back of your head.

If you spill your drink and make a mess, guess what you can clean it up, you don't have to get mad at yourself or at the drink. Shit happens, and why should you submerge yourself into all the small things with these big emotions like anger and sadness. Relax and rest those pretty eyes. Which goes into your last main card, Four of Swords. Again, relax for once, don’t guilt yourself. Everyone who has it easy, allows themself to relax from time. Even if they don’t doesn't mean that you should do the same thing. Have fun, learn more about who you are and why you are here. There’s so much self-sabotage that goes unnoticed by everyone.

Learn from yourself, thank who you had to become to get to here, and learn how to work past that when that shadow side doesn't help you anymore. You don’t have to 100% love yourself to overcome your shadow. Because here’s the thing, you’re not overcoming it, you’re learning to accept it and work with it to do better. Your shadow is who you are and use it to your ability to grow. Pile one get outta here and watch some therapy videos pls, you will be happier even for just a second.

Pile Two

"What I can't have forever, I will have for a minute. What I can't have for a minute, I will hold to me for one second."

Hello pile two, welcome to your pile. I assume for the most part your shadow is not something you shy away from because quite frankly there's not a significant amount of repression that is being displayed; I feel like this kind of shifted into a little bit of a motivational reading from your guides to tell you about one specific flaw in you rather to tackle down one serious hindering issue.

You guys got two theme cards for your theme of the overall shadow side that you're repressing. I pulled Masquerade and Queen of my world, for you pile two. Both cards have one thing in common. Both are attached to the word Bargain. Which tells me that you tend to do the most to procrastinate the process of bad emotions or habits. Masquerade is all about living in the moment and doing everything in your power to savor and dwell into the fleeting moments you so desperately want to hold onto and stick to. Queen of my world is all about holding onto a facade that hinders the possibility of being seen as anything other than graceful and powerful. You also pulled the daughter of wands in reversed. Which tells me that you procrastinate as well, and you can honestly be very disorderly as well.

You repress your shadow self because of how uncomfortable you are for being seen as who you wish you could be.

You know when we live our whole lives trying to maintain a certain image, it can be so hard and honestly draining. It makes sense why you want to slack off and just live in the moment because maintaining the way you think you have to come off to other people is very draining and if you think about it, your facade is stressful weather you are or aren't aware of it. Having live off of short moments and a false persona is only going to fulfill you for so long, do you think pretending to be stronger, smarter, or fiercer than you really going to stop you from embracing your true inner strength? Because aren't you tired of always having to consistently perform? I don't know if you are even doing it for yourself because doing that for so long will tire you out and make you unsure of who you are deep down.

Pile two, I did pull the son of cups. Which is a very charming and very appealing person to be around, this just reinforces that you will be this at all times for everyone and everything. Given that this is the card that's supposed to represent your present reality, I believe that you are a very much cookie cutter desired person. Someone who is always on top of how you appear as. All I see is that there's this big grand facade of being this person that is so desirable and welcoming. Everyone wants to present themselves in a good light to an extent but for you pile two it's very apparent that this isn't a want for you, it is a need and you do whatever needs to be done to be this beautiful picture-perfect version of yourself, but your human, so guess what? You are at a point where you have to chill out and learn to be yourself, not the ideal version at all times. It's okay to not be what everyone else wants you to be, or what your parents want you to be or whoever else you want to idealize you. You're a human, you're only capable of so much, you're flawed, and you can want to do or partake in things that are different from what should be expected from you. 

I pulled The High Priestess in reversed for you as clarification for Son of Cups.  Which tells me that you are a very spiritual person, which would make sense, you are reading a tarot reading. Besides that, it brings up to light that your inner self is not being done justice.

Do you even understand who you truly are? Not what you think you have to be to maintain approval.

This facade habit is not aligned with your highest potential. Because face it, do you think you will be happy for the rest of your life pretending to be something that isn't the real you? Just because others think you will be does not make that idea a reality, stop deceiving your true potential.

I don't want to assume but my guess is you may or may not have immigrant parents that have kind of forced this urgency to be a certain way to please them. At the end of the day, you know how you want to be or wish to be. If you don't relate to that portion obviously disregard it, it could be anything from grades, skills, and appearance. Maybe it's a controlling figure, which could be a lover or a person in power over you causing you to feel like you cannot be authentically yourself. 

The next card for you is Chariot, which is all about heading straight to where you want to be. Who you want to be. Nobody is going to be able to do it for you. You have built a wonderful mask for yourself for so long that it'll be hard to take it off and learn what you look like when you aren't wearing one. It will be unnatural to you at first, but you will get used to it. You got this pile two. I hope the best for you beautiful. 

Pile Three

"I cannot recognize myself. But I'm still me."

Welcome to your reading Pile three. I pulled two oracle cards; Downcast Pride and Is this Me, which the purpose is to reflect on the main themes of your reading. Is this Me is associated with the last stage the Dark Mirrors Oracle grief cycle, which the stage of acceptance, whereas Downcast Pride is associated with the depression stage.

Which brings up the primary point- your shadow self that is being repressed, is your own lack of attachment to joy or fulfillment for your life. This pile does remind me a lot about pile one, as both were attached to the stage of depression. There's been this emptiness in our lives for so long, that we become very dull in life and don't bother to work or see things in a way outside of that empty feeling. Yet, on contrast to pile one, pile three is more so at the phrase of depression morphing into the stage of acceptance. Pile three has wisdom and more insight compared to both previous piles. Pile three you have this inward recognition that everyone is within means of having the capacity to alter your method of thinking and act based on that. You're the more self-aware pile so congratulations on that. I got the High Priestess reversed, Nine of Cups reversed, and Two of Swords as the cards to represent what is being repressed from your past. Nine of Cups was the overall main card for the first question and when it's in reversed I read it as dissatisfaction despite all the opportunities that have been given to us. Perhaps, we overestimated what should be given or granted to us and are disappointed that we don't feel satisfied even if our needs have generally been met. In other words, even though you didn't have the worst hand in life, you're not content. It's possible, you have taken your status, or a piece of your own identity for granted. Given the length of time we have used certain facets of our identity for so long, or maybe even briefly; our perspective of our identity can very much be impacted with that facet we once were attached to and what we used to represent. And it also plays a significant role in preserving our happiness and contentment. Now, this "opportunity" or fragment of identify has gotten away as time gives space for it to vanish off. Life is all about change, it's difficult to accept yet we can't and shouldn't allow it to dictate our personal fulfillment. Change is devasting but so is self-pity, a little self-pity is healthy for you, too much is detrimental for us to expand ourselves onto newer and better things. This could mean anything, such as growing up thin and gorgeous. Years go by and now you've gained more weight than you like, eyes have become dull and wrinkly skin has formed in the corners of your eyes, forehead, arms and almost your entire body. Maybe you're blaming yourself for not earning as much money or for not being able to get the same level of love, appreciation or attention from other people. It could be anything—even a passion that ignited a fire in your life that has gradually faded over time. (Mind you, I am not saying that if you picked pile three you have to be old enough to be worrying about wrinkles or having to make more money from the previous year, any age group could pick this. School, family and mental/physical illnesses can be factors as well not just time itself.) Two of Swords also brings up a different point, that highlights being at a standoff with decision-making. Pile three, did you make a lot of decisions based off of what someone else told you was better or what would best suit someone else? Two of swords displays a lot of lack of self-assurance and I think that part of your fulfillment that's displayed from Downcast Pride roots from not being more assertive in your own personal decisions. The High Priestess is a very spiritual card, and as it is included in the spread's earlier sections, I interpret this to mean that either an inner wisdom has been present but has been clouded by the lack of purpose and achievement. You have potential, but with all this chaotic energy, you have suppressed a lot of this fulfillment. Even after all this time has passed and you still feel as though you are in the same place in life. How come you never knew or tried to figure out what you wanted to do? You're not content and have felt like happiness and fulfillment hasn't been present in life. Pile three, it has to feel devastating for you.

Another way that I’m reading the high priestess is that the high priestess is all about our inner calling and inner wisdom. Based on the other two cards, I would say that this is what is blocking off all this magical, inner wisdom being brought up. Meaning, we must solve our own issues to let our inner voice be shined. Seek assistance from anyone or any place that might help you becoming more aware of your inner reality.

You also got the Son of Cups and Judgement reversed. Which just reinforces what I said the previous paragraph. Son of Cups represents a charming and idealistic person that everyone loves and desires. Whilst Judgement reversed is highlighting missed opportunities and failure. Failure to be the Sun of Cups. Failure to grow past who you used to be.

Mourn your past. Accept it’s not with you anymore. Move on so you can grow. I am aware it’s easier said than done, but it still needs to be addressed.

Lamenting over who you wish you still were, or where you want to be is rather pointless. Stop wishing for something thats now unattainable for you. Look for the new you, answers and solutions for yourself. Morph into something better so that the old you would’ve been jealous of new present you. When you think about it, it’s actually good that some things cannot be changed because then there’s a plethora of options for growth and numerous outcomes for who we can be.

Now, I pulled Father of Swords, for advice for you to help you work through accepting your shadow self. This card is pretty straightforward, Father of Swords is a very authoritative and is someone who strives onward. He’s also someone who’s very logical and knows that in order for blessings we have to work and set ourselves up for blessings. He does what he has to do to get to where he wants to be. He dosn’t live in the past, he lives in the present while working for the future. Spirt wants me to tell you to do the same so you can work through your repression of your shadow.

[pardonmydelays]

RENT ESSAY PLEASE

VIVA LA VIE BOHEME!

oh, rent is literally one of my favourite musicals ever and i already saw four versions of it if i'm correct - the movie, broadway production with renee elise goldsberry, stage production with jordan fisher (because you all know i love this guy) and this one, our polish production. and honestly, this one was my absolute favourite, even if it wasn't the best one.

here's what i mean: the thing about musical theatre is that even if you love the original version with all your heart experiencing it live is just... on another level. it's different, it's better, because you're there in person. i think it's worth noting that i also saw tick tick boom last year, so two musicals composed by one and only jonathan larson in 2024 (and he is one of my favourite composers and his art means so much to me if you can't tell). it's crazy when you think about it. also, the fact that i could do this with my bestest friend in the world means absolutely everything to me.

i know i am always repeating myself, but damn, our polish cast was literally incredible (especially the actors who played mimi, angel and maureen - so vocally maureen was the best, but those three were my favourites). the entire cast was amazing tho, and the thing i already discussed with bel - i am usually not the biggest fan of mark, but damn, our polish mark was just great (i also loved his outfit).

the thing about outfits! i remember some kids who were sitting behind us were discussing the... bad and confusing choice of their clothes? but...? personally i think they did a great job here because i could recognize every single character as soon as i saw them for the first time on this stage and that says a lot, so where's the lie? (they had a lot of incorrect opinions tho and i just wanted them to shut tf up)

the choreography... ahh. i honestly have shivers when i think about it now. like i said, the entire cast was absolutely incredible, not only vocally, but DAMN THEY KNOW HOW TO DANCE. AND ACT. and this is the magic of live theatre - it's something you can only feel when you're there, seeing it on the screen is just a totally different experience. suddenly you start noticing things you have not seen before, and this is also what i want to talk about.

those of you who decided to read this essay probably know that musical theatre is a serious thing to me and i DO NOT engage with it because i want to be entertained - i do it because i'm looking for the truth, the message, for something that will change my life. and very often seeing it live changes my perspective completely - i suddenly find a whole different meaning, different things speak to me. so here's what happened: during another day (probably my favourite song from this production) i realized that this is literally the message i've been searching for. there is no future, there is no past, i live this moment as my last. this quote has been haunting me ever since. cause rent is not just about community, finding family in complete strangers, it's also about living your life like there's no tomorrow. much to think about.

i think rent hits the most when you're familiar with tick tick boom and jonathan larson's story. the funniest thing is that at the very end of it they literally showed a picture of jon and bel and i were the only people there who started screaming. what the hell. why are you even there if not for jonathan, people.

i seriously had the time of my life and i know for sure that i'll be back one day. amazing, beautiful, a little chaotic (just like this essay), but overall absolutely life changing. can't wait to see it again.

[simplegenius042]

Music Monday

Tagging @inafieldofdaisies @icecutioner @derelictheretic @shallow-gravy @voidika @socially-awkward-skeleton @shellibisshe @direwombat @strangefable @rhettsabbott @josephseedismyfather @josephslittledeputy @imogenkol @cloudofbutterflies92 @skoll-sun-eater @cassietrn @carlosoliveiraa @adelaidedrubman @g0dspeeed @wrathfulrook @afarcryfrommymain @strafethesesinners @aceghosts @turbo-virgins @raresvtm @softtidesworld @starsandskies @ladyoriza @la-grosse-patate @florbelles @titiagls @minilev @yokobai @thewanderer-000 @omen-speaker @justasmolbard @alypink @thesingularityseries @nightwingshero and @noodlecupcakes + anyone else who'd like to join.

Songs for The Silver Chronicles, Life, Despair & Monsters and Wings And Horns respectively. You can find the songs below the cut:

Elsa Omar is Silva's younger sister, they both managed to escape to America together along with an infant Persephone, where Elsa would have quite the reputation in Hope County, but they'd have around two or three years of peace before Elsa perishes in an accident. Ezekiel is Thomas Rush's future Captain in Security in Old Dusk, and has a rebel attitude towards authority he does not respect. However, back on the Archipiélagos, Elsa was the damsel-in-relative-distress lying and manipulating her piece of shit father as she shared info with the local rebellion about the Congregation's patrols and whatnot, while Ezekiel was an orphaned Tumultite street kid who looked up to the likes of Alvarich and Paul, despite being very anti-authoritarian in general. When these two first met... they hated each other. But hate turned to grudging respect. Respect turned to horrified crushing. Crush turned into deflecting by flirting. And that annoyed everyone else. Even 26 years after he last saw her alive, Ezekiel still yearns for his star-crossed love. And I think this song definitely describes how much their connection may as well have been fated, even if it was for a short time.

"I don't mean to be so uptight But my heart's been hurt a couple times By a couple guys that didn't treat me right I ain't gonna lie, ain't gonna lie 'Cause I'm tired of the fake love, show me what you're made of Boy, make me believe." "Whoa, hold up, girl, don't you know you're beautiful? And it's easy to see."

"If it's meant to be, it'll be, it'll be Baby, just let it be If it's meant to be, it'll be, it'll be Baby, just let it be So won't you ride with me, ride with me? See where this thing goes If it's meant to be, it'll be, it'll be Baby if it's meant to be

So come on, ride with me, ride with me See where this thing goes So come on, ride with me, ride with me Baby if it's meant to be."

"Maybe we do." "Maybe we don't." "Maybe we will Maybe we won't.

But if it's meant to be, it'll be, it'll be Baby, just let it be ("Sing it baby")* If it's meant to be, it'll be, it'll be ("Come on") Baby, just let it be." ("Let's go!")

[*Changed the word to "baby" instead of leaving it as "Bebe"]

Cecil Royce is the daughter of Daemon Targaryen and Rhea Royce, conceived after a drunk night of hate sex. Cecil, unlike her cousins, does not hold any admiration towards her father. Throughout The Thorned Crown Of Iron Thrones, Cecil is particularly hostile towards Daemon, and pretty much rejects the Targaryen name and practices in favour of her mother's. Though after the "accidental" death of her mother, she is put underneath Daemon's care... and he honestly tries his best. Through many trials, and many errors, as well as very slow-paced bonding experiences and the apparent mutual agreement that Rhaenyra should be heir to the Iron Throne, they manage to get along, and find in themselves an actual father-daughter bond suited for two rogue Targaryens. Until of course Cecil learns from him that he murdered her mother... and unlike Daemon, Cecil actually loved and looked up to Rhea. A bond fractures and there's just this uneasiness between them that stays long after the first fic ends and the second fic begins. How does "Summertime Sadness" fit into all of this? While the song itself is a yearning for the loss of a lover, here the context is Cecil's conflicted grief and yearning after the loss of Daemon, when he buys her time to fight the Court King, where he is knowingly severely outmatched and slain in the encounter. Despite the fractures in their relationship, Cecil can't really get over the fact that, while Daemon was no where close to perfect, he was her father, and the bond they had combined with the sacrifice he made is something can't help but grieve over.

"Oh, my God, I feel it in the air Telephone wires above are sizzlin' like a snare Honey, I'm on fire, I feel it everywhere Nothin' scares me anymore (One, two, three, four)

Kiss me hard before you go Summertime sadness I just wanted you to know That, baby, you the best

I got that summertime, summertime sadness Su-su-summertime, summertime sadness Got that summertime, summertime sadness Oh, oh-oh, oh

Think I'll miss you forever Like the stars miss the sun in the mornin' sky Later's better than never Even if you're gone, I'm gonna drive, drive, drive

I got that summertime, summertime sadness Su-su-summertime, summertime sadness Got that summertime, summertime sadness Oh, oh-oh, oh."

Wouldn't It Be Nice if Metatron and Xiang could just sit down and get along for a few moments while looking past their species prejudices and work on agreeing that something needs to be done about the Soulmate System, because it's definitely malfunctioning? Said by Azriel and Jezebel as they "fight" while their caretakers are getting deep into that steel on steel, sword on bullet action.

"Wouldn't it be nice if we were older? Then we wouldn't have to wait so long And wouldn't it be nice to live together In the kind of world where we belong?

You know it's gonna make it that much better When we can say goodnight and stay together

Wouldn't it be nice if we could wake up In the morning when the day is new? After having spent the day together Hold each other close the whole night through

But happy times together we've been spending I wish that every kiss was never ending Oh, wouldn't it be nice

Maybe if we think and wish and hope and pray it might come true And, baby, then there wouldn't be a single thing we couldn't do Oh, we could be married (Oh, we could be married) And then we'd be happy (And then we'd be happy) Oh, wouldn't it be nice

You know it seems the more we talk about it It only makes it worse to live without it But let's talk about it Oh, wouldn't it be nice?

Goodnight, oh baby Sleep tight, oh baby Goodnight, oh baby Sleep tight, oh baby Goodnight, oh baby Sleep tight, oh baby!"

[waterdeepwife]

As someone who also loves Gale so much, I wanted to ask your opinion on Morena Dekarios' potential class (thinking about drawing a family portrait of Gale, his wife/my Durge Calliope, Morena & Tara) I headcanon his mom as either having been a Ranger or Warlock - The Great Old One, when she was younger. Would love to hear your thoughts on these 2 possibilities, what do you personally find more likely?

I HAVE BEEN WAITING TO TALK ABOUT MAMA DEKARIOS!!! YAAAYY! Okay. I appreciate that you’ve come to me to ask my opinion, it means a lot to me. I also can’t wait to see the portrait of the Dekarios family! I went ahead and talked about some other things about his momma.

Keep in mind these are all my personal opinions and headcanons, and I’d love to hear what everybody else thinks!

Morena’s Personality

The biggest thing that stuck out to me that Gale had mentioned about his mom, is how she “packs quite a wallop.” When talking about Hundur sauce. So I definitely feel like she’s smacked him upside the head a few times. Like when he mentioned he caused trouble with the Blackstaff at the academy, and when his momma found out she was like “wtf were you thinking!?” And smacks the back of his head. Not in an abusive way, but like… “boy you better straighten up way” if that makes sense?

Morena absolutely loves her son, and can’t imagine a world without him. He’s definitely a mama’s boy (the healthy kind) and the remain super close even has he grows older. She wants Gale to have the wonderful life he deserves. A loving partner who shows him just how wonderful he is, and maybe even gives her some grandbabies.

I feel like she’s the right balance between a stern parent, but also a long leash parent. Morena knows how to handle her wild son without being so strict, but she also knows when he needs a more stern talking to. I feel like she’s coddled Gale a little bit when he was younger, but got tougher as he for older.

When Morena denied him and a kitten, then he summoned Tara. She was looked at him like “you little shit” but had the biggest smile on her face, because she was so proud of his spell casting skills.

I feel like she is the strong silent type when you first meet her, but opens up to Tav/Durge without any problem. She doesn’t start fights, but she sure as shit can finish them.

Morena gives me badass, wine drinker vibes, who can put people in their place with just the tone do her voice.

Morena’s Classes

You asked for two classes I think Mrs. Dekarios could be, and honestly it was so hard to decide! But I did eventually narrow it down!

1. Cleric of Mystra/Oghma, knowledge domain.

Maybe Gale got his bookworm tendencies from his mother, who served Mystra as a cleric and that’s what sparkled his interest in magic and becoming a wizard? I can imagine while Gale is away Morena prays to their shared god, begging for her son to return to Waterdeep safe and sound. Every night she prays for Gale’s safety.

Gods forbid Tav/Durge mentions what Mystra asks of Gale and she may just turn her back to the goddess of Magic. It’s hard to worship a god who wanted your son to die. I can see her becoming a loyal follower of Oghma after that, much to Gale’s disappointment. He liked sharing a deity with his mother, but he understands.

Morena is a badass so she probably sent Mystra a nasty prayer before changing deities, which made Gale panic. But Tara reassures him and is confident if her and Mrs. Dekarios team up, they could 100% take Mystra on. Of course she is teasing to try and make Gale relax.

2. Ranger, Beast Master.

Crazy cat lady who? Possibly her, if Tara permanently moves in with Gale and Tav/Durge. I can see her being an animal fan, and probably had pet cats from her own childhood. The reason she ended Gale a kitten is because she didn’t want to experience the loss of a pet again.

Since Rangers also have spell casting skills, she definitely is keeper of the veil. I feel like it’s very similar to if she was a cleric. Little Gale sees her using magic and he wants to do that, but goes the wizard route.

Unfortunately I don’t have any more headcanons for ranger, only because I lean towards Cleric for her! But I can absolutely see her being a ranger as well. No matter Mrs. Dekarios’ class is, she is a badass and we love her!

I’d love to hear anyone’s thoughts on what our Mother-in-Law’s class could be!

[schwarzgeier-side]

HI GEIER A FUN QUESTION FOR U but do you have any particular artists and/or pieces of media (like movies shows videogames etc) that inspire your own art style/you want to take inspiration from?? Ive asked a couple peeps and I'm curious abt you!!!

OMG MY TURN?? THANK U HHH Im still baffled sometimes by you knowing i exist dhdhdh but im honored.

Sooo Inspiration huh. Very interesting topic for me because i am. Very much shaped by the art and media I like / consume. And yet i dont feel like much of it shows up in my own art style really. I am not sure why, probably because i never fully. Studied art tbh. Went to art school in free time ever since i was a 1st grader but i still feel like i skipped some major steps in actual art teachings. Color theory is my enemy.

But as direct inspirations I would say I have wayy to many to count.

Signalis (unsuprisingly) has been a literal life changing experience and I am putting down here because i cannot fully express how much it fuels me and my artistic aspirations ever since i played it. I truly wish to make a story on signalises level that can impact others.

As a second biggest inspo , i have to go with my long term soft spot that i have for the Dishonored series , specificly the art of Dishonored 2 will never leave my soul. There were multiple incredible artists working on the design team but the general feel and dedication they put into this world is smth i wish to do similiarly. Arkanes general philosophy aligns with mine.

For final big game i suppose ill put Ultrakill. I dont know what it is specificly about it that makes me so. At awe of it but it scratches my brain in similair way signalis did with its low poly style and striking colors and solid designs.

For artists god uh theres to many fjfhshdhg my own art changes style everydamn week i feel like but at least for people that impact me lately . @mrzuddie(sorry for the tag)s style has personaly spoken to me on a lot of levels , dont know why specificly but it scratches my brain so well . I always admired the more. Chaotic artstyles ? Sketchy , or rough looking pieces speak to me more than smth hyper realistic or shaded. Thats why i like pixelated stuff too. Remarins speedpaints on youtube were big part of my teen years i would say and they shaped me into being a digital artist mainly. Shiwasu Hoshikawa's Bungo Stray Dogs art also falls under the scratchy wild art category i love and wish i could replicate more .

I cant really think of any movie funikly enough that shaped me artisticly much. I like Top Gun Maverick but thats cause im a pilot and have a history with it fjfhfj. 9 film from 2009 was striking though that might have been subconciously affecting me. Also as most i think Into the spideverse and any recent well animated movie can fall in this category.

Idunno i just. Like to draw. I need to create stuff. And everything around me influences the way i draw. Including you btw your art is incredible and It is honestly fascinating studying the texture of your brushes and strokes. Thank you for asking me :]

[zelda-cooper]

Duck and Ace's relationship (and how it draws parallels to Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck)

This is a topic that I've been thinking about talking about for a long time, especially after @verboselocket38 's blog about this subject, which was my inspiration to change Ace and Duck's personality. Since I also wanted to distance the two characters from the original Looney Tunes ones, I decided to change some things as well. So... Credits to her! ^^

First of all, I want to start by talking about Daffy and Bugs' relationship in the old cartoons, more specifically in Chuck Jones' "Duck Season and Rabbit Season" trilogy. No one disagrees that the duo is an absolute classic! But let's analyze the personalities of both and how the contrast makes all the difference in this duo. Bugs Bunny is shown as someone calm and sarcastic, who doesn't lose his posture even with a gun over his head, with one or two moments when this posture cracks, but it's very rare. Daffy Duck, on the other hand, has two versions of his personality: the insane and unscrupulous version of him who wants what he wants, and the greedy and selfish jerk version of him (and we want the second one). And Daffy Duck is also unscrupulous, but everything in these shorts comes down to him wanting to save his life and throwing EVERYTHING at Bugs Bunny so that, in the end, he receives karma. It was a pretty crappy summary of these shorts because, let's face it, you already know... I wanted to go around this to reintroduce this dynamic and then invert it (don't worry, I'll explain...-3-).

Now, when we move on to Loonatics Unleashed... Here we kind of have an example that the relationships between the characters aren't exactly well developed... Technically, Ace and Duck are supposed to be friendly rivals (or not, it depends) and Duck wants to be the team leader, even though he's not qualified for it. And, okay, it's cliché, but if it's done well, great. But the problem, for me, honestly... Their moments aren't that good and they don't develop that much beyond the first layer. Despite having episodes like Cypher's and those Evil Dolphins (I can't remember the name of them now) that scratch that surface a bit, the first showing that Duck has this desire, but at the time he doesn't know how to do it, and the second shows that he is good at leading. There isn't even such a strong contrast in the personalities themselves or that funny dynamic from the old cartoons, where Daffy was always trying to outwit Bugs. It seems that sometimes Danger Duck suffers for nothing (especially in the second season in some episodes). I won't comment on the part where Ace's personality isn't that striking and is kind of generic and Duck, after a while, just becomes a comic relief character, because I think you get the idea. Having already talked about these points, let's now go to my version...

Let's start with Ace Portal (aka Alec Bunny)... I changed his personality so that he would be not only more interesting, but more selfish. Ace, in my version, is a person who has low self-esteem and has many unresolved psychological issues, be it trauma, an inferiority complex or simply emotional exhaustion. However, when he unlocks the powers, he finally feels that he IS something and, with Zadavia's proposal, he is MUCH more excited about the possibility of being a hero. Although, yes, he has a noble motive, it was much more about him "feeling like someone" than "helping people". And this is where Ace's problematic personality begins... He has NO training, no experience and no emotional control, so most of the time, he acts either impulsively or recklessly. Oh, and in this version, he is NOT the leader of the Loonatics, their boss is Zadavia and the one who gives the missions, but most of the time, the one who makes the strategies or plans is either Tech or Duck. Which causes resentment on Ace's part for many issues, so he ends up teasing Duck a lot like "Of course, as if YOU know how to do anything right!" or "Yeah yeah, I could have done it myself!". And speaking of the duck...

Danger Duck (or Damian "Duck" Brown), just like Ace, he has a LOT of problems he needs to deal with, like the fear of abandonment or the complex of him "not deserving" anything he had in life. But, unlike Ace, he masks it with a more sarcastic and slightly oblivious attitude, despite the fact that he really cares about the team.He is the type of person who is very observant, whether it is about people's qualities and weaknesses or the place around him, which helps on many occasions. Besides, he has many talents... The problem is that sometimes he ends up doing things and saying things that might come across as rude or even hurtful, and he's a bit self-destructive, but he can admit his mistake most of the time. However, since he also has low self-esteem, when Ace provokes him or questions his abilities, Duck's temper ends up attacking and results in a lot of ugly fights, whether verbal or physical. And this doesn't end well for either of them and could even compromise the mission...

There are many other questions about their relationship, so if you want to comment or ask me for more information, I'll be willing to answer. But until then, that's it! BYEEEEEE!!!!!

[onskepa]

Hiii,I got a request.

So one of the dynamics I'm really interested in seeing in the next movie is the one between Neytiri and Spider.

So the plot would be something like they go to gather some herb that can only be found in a small crevice,so Mo’at asks Spider to retrieve it for her. Since everyone is occupied and the plant is far from the village, Mo’at asks Neytiri to take him there, and after a small argument of being against it, she does.

Only for some reason, they swap species (maybe some plant is at fault for that), like Neytiri turns human and Spider turns na’vi, but only them and no one else.

They go and hide in a shack that's close to them ( or somewhere)  so no one sees them, so they spend the day together, and they have a heart to heart conversation.

They have a newfound understanding of each other after all of this, and while not on super amicable terms yet, they start getting there.

When they wake up the next day they have changed back (Neytiri consoling Spider a bit cause he had everything he wanted just for a bit, but he also is happy for her at the same time)

Helloooooooo cutie patootie~!! Honestly this is a really cool idea to explore thoroughly. Now I know everyone has their own personal opnnions of how their relationship can go, or alternatives. BUT! This will be my version of how I think if might go. Hopfully this is yours and everyones satisfaction~!!

-------------

New body, fresh eyes

[cover made by meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!]

Another calm day at the relatively peaceful day in the Omatikaya forest. People doing their duties to the village, or relaxing and enjoying the beautiful day. It was tranquil, calm, and everyone can tell it will be a good day. Mo’at certainly does. There was not much to do on this bright day. So she decided to go out and collect some herbs as she is running low on some. 

So getting her baskets and needed tools, she makes her way through the village. Everyone she passes greets her with respect and joy. She likes seeing her people be in high spirits, it brings her mind at peace. 

“You are doing it wrong!”

“Kiri taught me! So I know I am doing it right!” 

“You are better off with those demons!” 

“Too bad! I'm here to stay!” 

Now if only mo’at can say the same for her inner family. 

“Can you two stop arguing for 5 minutes?” Jake asks as he groans in frustration. Lately neytiri and spider have been at each other's throats. More than usual. Rubbing his eyes, it's too damn early to deal with it. Don't get Jake wrong, he loves neytiri very much. So much, but at times her dislike for spider can be a bit much, even for him. 

And it is clear as day, everyone else is also getting tired too. 

“I'm literally just existing!” Spider shouts his excuse, waving his arms around as if to prove his point. 

Neytiri hisses and rolls her eyes. 

Mo’at sees this and joins Jake's side. Both share the same feelings of this ongoing dispute. This has to stop before it escalates even more. 

Mo’at doesn't hate the boy, she tolerates him and doesn't mind his presence. Would often welcome him to a light meal or show him some healing methods should he get hurt somewhere in the forest. 

Looking down at her basket, mo’at got an idea. 

So while neytiri and spider go for a round who knows how many of arguing, mo’at whispers in jake’s ear of her idea. And the more he listens, the more he is willing to comply.

“You cannot be serious! Both of you!” Neytiri shouts in anger. 

“Baby, you know I love you with all my heart and soul, but believe me, this is a good idea,” Jake says with his arms crossed, his stance showing he isnt going to back down. Mo’at stands beside him, her glare not changing. 

“She is going to end my life if we do this,” Spider says in a panicked/worried tone. He really doesn't want to do this, especially with neytiri. 

“Hush, it won't be a terrible experience. All you both have to do is go to the upper saves to collect the white shell flowers. I need you spider to go since you are small enough to enter, and neytiri I need you to make sure he comes to and back safely” mo’at instructs. 

But before either neytiri or spider begin to protest, Jake held his hand up as to silence them.

“It is decided, there is no way out of this. That is final”

Oh what could go wrong?

“Keep up!” Neytiri angrily demands, spider grunts as his feet are starting to sore. Ever since they left the village, Neytiri has been demanding him non-stop, telling him to hurry up, to not be slow or some animal will end him. Purposely walking faster and climbing on near impossible spots. Purposely making spider struggle more than he usually does. 

“I'm trying!” he shouts back as he climbs over a very big root. He hasn't felt this tired since race climbing with the other na’vi boys. And that was a long while ago. And to make things not so appealing, they are not even halfway to the destination. 

“Is this what uncle means by final destination…?” he thinks. 

If that is true, may Eywa grant him mercy and join her in the afterlife.

“Are you done being dramatic?” Neytiri asks suddenly, interrupting his thoughts. 

She stood not far from him, clearly not amused. 

Quickly spider catches up to her, “nothing, how far are we?” he asks, “too far” neytiri asks annoyed. Inwardly sighing, he catches up, as fast he can't. This will be a long walk for sure.

“We are here” 

What felt like forever they finally made it to the upper caves. It really wasn't that far from the hallelujah mountains but it takes a bit to get to a really specific area. And that specific area was no easy task. But what matters now is they made it.

“Hurry up, get in!” Neytiri once again hisses and impatiently shoves spider in the small cave. Spider was quick to duck his head down so as to not hit himself against the rocky entrance. The baskets landed near his feet, so he grabbed them without a word. Going a bit deeper, he sees the beautiful glowing green flowers. 

According to what mo’at said, they needed to be very careful as the flowers can only function in the dark. Any beam of light hitting them and its over. So neytiri shoves some special baskets that are weaved very tightly and no light can get past it. 

But also….

“How many did the tsahik say to get?” spider asks to neytiri. The na’vi in question paused for a moment. Did her mother specify how much to get? Little or a lot? Damn. 

“Enough to fill the baskets” she said in a snappy tone. 

“Yes ma’am…” so spider gets onto it. As he gently plucks the flowers, a bit of the nectar escaped from the bud and leaked onto his hands. Smearing his fingers a bit, it was sticky yet warm at the same time. Made his hands glow a bit. 

“What is taking so long!? Hurry it up in there! We won't make it back before dark!” neytiri screeches. Her time with spider grows increasingly thin. She just wanted to get it done and over with. Being near him makes neytiri’s skin prickle and shudder. 

“Puny demon…” she mutters under her breath. Looking down, the roots that connect the small cave to the base aren't that thick. Her blade is sharp enough to cut them. If she manages to grab the baskets, she can cut the roots and spider can be stuck in the air. Forever maybe….

“Ok I think this is enough” spider comments to himself. Collecting the baskets, he triple checks they are sealed very tightly and slings them over his back. “I need a bath after this…” looking down at his glowing hands, and some parts of his body, the nectar was all over him. Spider did try to not have any flower leak as he plucked them but it was inevitable. 

“I'm coming!” he shouts, letting the echos reach neytiri’s ears as he makes his way to the exit of the cave. And just as he was about to come out, the sudden reach for the baskets surprised him. “Give them to me” neytiri demons, her eyes glaring daggers at him. Harshly she tried to yank them out of her grasp but spider was pulling back. Scared of whatever her motive is. 

“Stop! You are going to rip the baskets!!” he warns her but it has fallen on deaf ears. The na’vi was pulling them so hard, he worried the weaving will become undone, so using the still wet nectar, he smeared it all over neytiri’s face. “WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?” she yells. Tring to get the nectar out of her eyes while holding onto spider, she was losing balance. 

“No no no!!” 

Without warning, both began to fall from the small cave. Flying down fast, yells of panic and fear. They fell down to the forest, only to be hitting the flat grounds and instantly being knocked out.

Neytiri awoke to a burning, unbearable pain coursing through her body. Mostly at her throat. She can't break, why can't she breathe? It hurts so much! Her vision was blurry but even trying to open her eyes, she felt a slight stinging to them. She needed air and fast! Looking at her surroundings, she saw spider’s mask laying on the floor, maybe that could help? 

Crawling towards it, feeling the strength in her body weaken by the second. Quickly putting it on, she took deep breaths, calming her heart. 

After a few minutes, her full consciousness became present. Why did Neytiri need the boy’s mask? How was it that it fit her face? 

Looking down at her hands, her body, her hair, she screamed her soul out. 

Spider woke up startled, looking around to find the source of the blood curdling scream. He turned to see a human woman. She was panicking while looking down at her body. He had never seen her before but he couldn't leave her to her madness. 

“Hey hey, it's ok, it's ok, is your mask broken?” he suddenly asks while raising his hands but he noticed something…….

His hands were blue…his arms, legs, body, touching his ears, they were pointy. Was he….?

“Spider?!” the human woman called out to him, but hearing neytiri’s voice….?

“Neytiri….?” he calls out, she nodded. 

Both now silent, taking in each other’s appearance…..

Neytiri is human. And spider is na’vi. 

“Oh my Eywa….”

“OH MY EYWA!! OH MY-I THINK I'M GONNA THROW UP!!” spider says in his midst of panic. It is like he can't seem to fully comprehend what is happening. Here he is, standing at 10 '12 ft tall, with a tail, four fingers, and blue all over. 

“Please don't '' neytiri who isn't far from him begs. She was rocking back and forth trying to understand what happened. Her skin is deep tan, dark tones, her hair now wavy and standing at a good 5’7 ft tall. No tail, 5 fingers, round ears, and no stripes. Even she is trying not to vomit. 

Trying to be the adult between them, she gets up but notices something. She is naked, her na’vi clothing is too big for her. 

“Look…we must find some proper garments……and find shelter soon. It is getting dark” she says. 

Spider stops his mid life crises and listens to her. Looking down, he sees her point.

“Woa, this is incredible!” spider shouts in great glee! He can smell everything! He can see better, climb higher, run faster! He felt invincible at the moment. This is what he always dreamed of, always hoped to be. A true na’vi. No more silly mask, no more sleeping in the labs, no more risking his life to simple foods in the wilderness. He felt free. 

Neytiri on the other hand felt stuck. The mask was itchy, it was uncomfortable. She doesn't have the same amount of strength. Everything was too big or too high, climbing was hard, running even harder. Gets tired easily, and can't even enjoy her favorite fruit anymore! Is this what it is like for humans? Always tired? Danger everywhere? Is this what felt like being trapped?

“Don't you think maybe this could be something from Eywa?” spider asks, rather a bit tired but wondering behind their current situation. “Is she punishing us…?” He wonders more. Neytiri, who was sitting across from him, the fire pit in the middle of their small shelter. She narrows her eyes, the light of the fire reflecting in her eyes. 

“Don't be so ridiculous, why would she punish me? I have done nothing wrong” she replies in a rather stand-offish way. If spider still had his eyebrows, he would raise them.

Did nothing wrong?” he repeats but more as a question. 

He starts to count with his fingers, “you insult me, you belittle me, you bully me! You HATE me! When all I have done is try to live my life”. 

Neytiri glares at him, if she could hiss, she would. 

“You dare come to my home, my village, my FAMILY! Dressing as if you were one of us!” 

“I am now,” he smirks. 

“Bah!” she scoffs, “whatever this is, don't think it will be forever!” 

“But what if it is? What if this is our new life? Me na’vi, you human?” spider questions. If it is true, he could life as a omatikaya. He could spend more time with kiri, lo’ak, spend more time and be one with the village. He could-

“Then I wouldn't be with my family….” neytiri whispers…..the horror crawling into her mind. If she is forever human, that means she would have to be with the other humans…away from her mate, away from her children! To be away from her home is wrong. To not be able to hunt or share a simple kiss would risk her life. This is like a cage in her own body. And to rely on the stupid mask…no she couldn't. 

“Neytiri…..why do you hate me…?” spider asks, bringing back the topic. 

Not making eye contact, rather staring at the fire, she slowly responds. 

“I dont hate you….I hate what you resemble…..that demon. That man. He took everything from me. When I see you, I see him. That is all I see. And I cannot look past him. I fear you would follow his trail. Resume what he could not finish. End me, ending my family. I cant…I belittle you, I say many things to you. I should not. I am aware. Yet my anger, my hate, my terrors. They overcome my vision. What I am supposed to see a child, all I can see is the darkness of my nights” 

Silence follows. The sparks of the fire filling it in. 

Neytiri’s words settled in spider’s mind.

“I always admired you…” spider suddenly spoke. 

He didn't look up, rather looking down at his hands. Busy creating something. 

“I always admired how strong you are. Despite losing everything…you remain strong, tough, fearless. And I always liked that. I liked how despite being hurt, you continue to fight. A mighty warrior is all I see. Yet you are a good mom. How you treat your kids….I always wanted a mom who can cuddle me, hold me, love me….I'm not saying I see you as a mother. But you are the closest thing to it. I am also scared of you…but I get mad. So mad that you treat me worse than all of the humans combined. All I ever wanted was just you to acknowledge me. That was all I ever wanted…” 

Neytiri didn't say anything. She only looks down at her hands. What can she say? Nothing, her answer was nothing. 

Sun rose and both were awake. Seeing that their new bodies are still there, they remain in the small shelter. 

“Ack!” neytiri groans in pain, she was trying to open a shell of a fruit but is struggling. 

“Need some help?” spider offers. 

“Im fine” neytiri snaps, not wanting to be bothered. So spider shrugs. But as he turned, he hissed in pain. Looking behind him, seems he stepped on his tail. Again. This will be taking some time to get used to. 

“OW!” 

“Ok let me show you” spider interjects neytiri. Though she is protesting, spider ignores that. “Here, with your small fingers you have to twist the top, not the bottom. It is easier and won't hurt” he instructs. Neytiri doesn't say anything, but does how he showed her. And the shell opened, showing the ripe fruit inside. She smiled in relief. She was so hungry. 

“Oh by the way, you cant eat that” spider says before she could take a bit. Raising an eyebrow, she questions him “and why not? I have always eatin this fruit”. 

“Yes, but you are human now. This fruit is not safe for humans. Eat if and you will have a bad reaction to it. Dont even test it, its not fun”..

So neytiri puts the fruit down. 

Damn.

“You are walking like a human,” neytiri points out. Spider tripped, again. Over his tail. Again. 

“If you still wish to keep your tail intact, dont drag on your legs behind, and dont mindlessly sway your tail side to side like some beast. Have proper manners” she goes on to say. 

Spider huffs, and getting up he follows her instructions. “You are na’vi now, so walk like one”. 

Carefully correcting his stand and pose, he tries again. “Hey look, I am-OW!” 

“What did I say?! You utter fool!”

“You pull the scales like this” neytiri instructs spider in how to removes the scales of some fishes they caught at a nearby river. Using her large blade, spider carefully does as she is teaching him. And as he does, neytiri was grinding some spices she managed to collect during their walk. 

“Add more of the red bark” spider comments. 

“Why?” 

“Because for the sake of your taste buds, it makes the fish meat be easier to consume” 

Back and forth, all day. Spider and neytiri help each other in getting used of their new bodies. New habits had to be learned, new styles and methods that can benefit the other. And all the while there was no yelling or harsh name calling. Things felt..ease. At peace. But for how long can this happen? Forever? 

Night came once again, and after a full meal, spider and neytiri rested. Spider taking in his hands, admiring his dots decorating his body. 

Neytiri does the same for her hair. 

“Here…..for you” spider whispers a bit shyly. He hands neytiri what looked like a headband. It was weaven together well. The weaving of the omatikaya. Beads embedded well with the blue hue. It was soft and the material looked to be well made. 

“Thank you….” she whispers. Putting it on, it fitted her perfectly. Of course not that she would admit. 

“Here….” this time neytiri hands spider tenbeads, four reds and two yellows. “Do what you like with them” she says. Spider gripped on the beads tightly. They felt nice and smooth on his palm. Seemed to be well carved and of good quality too. 

“Thank you…” he smiles. Cherishing his gift from her. Really the only act of kindless she has displayed to him. And by eywa he will keep it as a core memory until his last breathe. 

However, despite the gift exchange, there is still that looming worry. 

“It seems….this will be our new life now….me human, and you na’vi” neytiri says, sadness coating her words. 

“I now know it is not easy….to be human. I now know what challenges you must go throug spider….your struggles have ended….and now I will struggle but…..I accept. IF this is my new body forever…I accept” 

There. 

She admits it, neytiri finally admits it. 

Spider should feel happy, but he isnt. 

“As I accept…..being na’vi. Thanks to you, I now know it is not fully easy being na’vi either. So much noises…my tail, I love my tail but it has a mind of its own. But I accept I will be na’vi but…..it doesnt seem fair….” he says. 

Neytiri blinks, confused. 

“How is it not fair? You finally get to have the life you long desire” 

The boy bods, “Yes but…what if…the price to pay to life this life….the life I always wanted….comes at the cost of you? Arent you worried? Scared? You won't get to be with your family as much anymore. Having to eat shitty food, being indoors with all the technology you hate. It almost doesnt seem fair…” 

That is true…if neytiri must, she would be limited to all she has. 

“Nothing is really fair spider….but as you said…..if this is Eywa punishing….me. Then, I accept me punishment. My freedom in trade for yours…” 

Spider shook his head, “no, no that is not how it would end. I will gladly give up my na’vi body. I would go back to being human. I would give it all up, for you. You are a mother to 4 kids neytiri, they need you. They need you more than I need this body. IF Eywa can hear me, hear me now. I would gladly pay the price. My na’vi for neytiri’s humanity. I would!” 

By the bounds of all reality, the shell flowers from the forgotten baskets bursted out, and went straight towards them.

“I see them, look” mo’at smiles as she sees spider and neytiri coming to them. Jake sees as well, and smiles “I was starting to get worried”. 

And what a sight to hold on to. Spider and neytiri? Talking peacefully? Not screaming or yelling? 

“It seems it worked” jake comments. Mo’at nods, “of course, great mother always knows the right solution to any matter”

PHEW! This one took me a bit, wanted to get all the right words and emotions just right. But I am once again proud how it turned out! Thank you cutie for requesting this! Until next time! See ya!

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA if I played the last game by myself? to find it-> 🎮👾🕹️

So I [26NB] and three of my friends have been playing this game series for a while now it’s been probably a little under a year at this point that we’ve been chugging through these games (there’s, I believe, five games in total with a spin off and each game has multiple parts/chapters). We’ve been setting aside a day every week depending on our work and life availability to play through it. Normally getting a chapter a night or half a chapter depending on the length. Of course not every week we can do it cause of life and that's totally fine.

A little extra info on the games because I find it relevant. So the first game I actually played by myself cause the other three started without me (this was their thing they planned and invited me into later when I showed interest in the game) and I spent that time working to catch up to where they were in the game so I could join them. I did have a lot of fun playing the game as the game play is just as fun as the story to me and even when I get stuck the walk throughs are really easy to read and helpful. I'm not known for my gaming and actually watch playthroughs for stuff instead of plaything them myself cause I just all around suck at video games but this is one of the few games I like playing personally.

Once I played through the first game I hopped onboard the group plays with the other three to hang out and play together. Two of the friends have already played the whole series (lets call ‘em Lucy and Zeref) and know all the story where me and the third friend (let's call them Gray) didn't know anything at all about the series before we started playing. Part of the joy of these games for the both of us is getting to experience the exciting story in real time. As these games actually have a fairly large following and are pretty popular but some how both of us have gone most our lives with little to no spoilers for the series. This game is also full of crazy twists and turns that are VERY exciting to experience live.

Because of this fact I've also spent so much effort and time staying away from spoilers but still trying to interact with the fandom which is where not impossible just kinda frustrating cause there's a lot of art and fics and convos I'm missing out of because of it. I've even made another friend outside of this small group who ALSO likes these games but we don't talk about them much cause they're afraid of spoiling things for me by accident. Which, while very kind of them, is also in it's own way kinda frustrating.

We are currently on the fourth game and, honestly I've been thinking about just playing the last game and the spin off by myself at this point. There's two reasons for this. The first is that the games are just dragging on far too much to be fun anymore for me. I think it’s a mix of the fact that this fourth game is apparently one of, if not the, longest in the series and also that because of scheduling changes our weekly get togethers are much shorter now. Both of these factors causing us to take much longer to get through the chapters and this game. It’s really making it much harder to enjoy and even my roommate last week said I looked really tired and seemed burnt out during the session. It also doesn’t help that these meetups are online so I also don’t get to physically play the game myself and I can’t just ask to have the controller for a bit cause all of us are states away. 

The other part to this is that, honestly, me and these friends have not been talking as much. Something happened around the time we started the fourth game where I had a bunch of huge life changing events happen to me and I was severely depressed and grieving because of it. Due to some mixed up emotions on all sides and miscommunication, we had a hiccup in our friendship. There was a moment where I was genuinely scared of losing them but we talked it out like adults and things were better. However, ever since then it really does feel like the three of them talk a lot less to me now. I, at first, believed it was just my imagination. I do have some issues with my perception of reality due to mental heath but I always keep a very strong foot on the ground and go to people when I really feel like I can’t tell if I’m being crazy or not. So I chalked it up to me having a Moment(™) and just kept on like nothing was wrong. I even threw myself into DMs and out a lot more to try and make up for it. Instead of hiding away and being sad I tried to get them to interact with me more by really engaging in our friendships and chats. Unfortunately this hasn’t really helped the feeling of growing separation and light (possibly even unconscious) ignoring on their parts and I’m really feeling weighed down by it these days. It’s making these sessions even harder for me because no matter how much fun I have with them it makes the silence outside of the calls even more hollow and gut wrenching. 

A while back I did actually go to Gray and talk about my feelings mostly towards the way us playing the game is taking so long and causing burn out, and even suggested that instead of leaving the game nights completely, just playing the rest of them on my own and still hopping in with them when they do it. Gray was really sad with this cause they really enjoyed how both of us were going in blind together and they didn’t wanna be the only one who didn’t know anything while everyone else did. I understand that and felt really bad so I kept playing with them as a group. But the above feelings just got worse and worse. 

To top it off, Lucy has stopped coming to the game nights all together and I don’t really know why. As far as I’m aware they haven’t said anything at least not publicly in our chat about it and I didn’t feel it my place to pry. They also just haven’t been talking in the chat at all which feels extra bad cause I’ve always felt closest to Lucy and Gray at the end of the day. I’ve been chatting with Lucy in DMs here and there and they never seem disinterested in our conversation or like they no longer wanna be friends or anything. But it’s still really saddening as I am not really the DM type of person and am better at interacting in group chats and the like. So I feel like our already dying friendship is just going down hill faster. 

I just really wanna play the games and get it over with. I miss being able to play them physically and these game nights are starting to just worsen my mood as we go. I’m really not sure what to do cause I know Gray (and probably Zeref a little too) will be real upset if I drop out completely or if I play ahead of them. A part of me almost thought about playing the games in secret and pretending like I didn’t to spare their feelings and still make it fun for them and relieve all this stress off myself which I don’t know if that would be better or worse

What are these acronyms?