#cause I got a lot of thoughts about the dehumanizing they put him under and he then also start believing

[smollandkindaannoyed]

It is a "Head empty, one thought" kinda day. And that one thought that has me thinking all day is Bucky calling himself "The Asset" in Sidereal from girlbookwrm and verbalatte.

Like I just finished the fic, loved it, but I cant stop thinking about how Bucky kept calling himself The Asset in the beginning. The way chapter two starts with: 'The Asset has no soulmark, as far as it is aware. Soulmarks are for the living, after all.' And that is some of the most heartbreaking shit ever. Like all I can think about is how Bucky really just became a weapon, an object, to be used for all those years till the point he himself doesn't even believe he is a living being anymore. How he talks about himself like HYDRA talks about him, how he starts to use their words and with talking in a thirth-person way also making his actions not his, because in the end all those missions were done by The Asset not by Bucky. Ye no this thought will be haunting my brain for next few days.

[hoelandah]

This will probably be my most controversial Homelander take:

As a black woman, TV!Homelander is accidentally the most "black man" coded white male character I've ever seen.

My reasoning and analysis is under the cut.

Let me preface that I'm aware that the subtext and mirroring I'm about to explain is likely not intentional in any way, shape, or form. Take this for the speculation and art analysis it is. This is also not Homelander apologia.

Warning: includes discussion of racial violence and SA.

Okay so. I'm one of those people who thinks that the Trump comparisons aren't correct. It's dead wrong. It's the writers and marketing clumsily trying to advertise the show by lampooning the conservatives. So, just leave the Homelander = Trump shit at the door.

1. His Dehumanization

It's no secret how much violence and dehumanization minorities go through. I'm going to elaborate on the specific markers of black male dehumanization.

Throughout European history the depiction and treatment of the black man has been "animal" and all the connotations that come with that word.

Violent. Stud. Low intelligence.

Black men were literally seen as not human. The idea of a black man having personhood would have genuinely been laughable to consider to whites in earlier history. They were no better than bulls.

Made to work. Made to breed. Made to be owned.

Homelander, like black men, never got the keys to "humanity." He was dehumanized before he was even a thought. A product of a "bull" that was so called "good stock" (Soldier Boy).

He was raised in isolation and abused by his owners to be ready to make his owners profit. His body was never his own. He's an asset. A product.

2. False/Conditional Privilege

Cut now to him debuting as The Homelander. Homelander is shallowly privileged by his looks and celebrity the same way black performers, particularly athletes, are: as long as they do the job. "Shut up and play, boy."

These teams are usually "owned" by rich white men. The black athlete should never do anything else but what they're paid to do. If they just do their job they get the conditional keys to "white male privilege." But only if they perform and never cause a stir or "take a knee."

During this time Homelander is groomed, intentionally and unintentionally, into what he is by everyone around him who only see him as a tool. And Homelander tries to always be "valued" in the public because what else does he have?

3. The Predatory Black Man Trope and "Jeromes" and "Tyrones"

Note: this section is likely reaching a little, take it with lots of salt.

This next section discusses the whole Becca thing.

Let the record show that I know and understand that Becca was raped. Full stop. I have some thoughts as to how much Homelander is aware of the gravity of what he did since he's a giant toddler whose moral compass has been made to point straight down to hell but it's obvious he does not care about how much he hurt her.

The show just puts some weird ass ambiguity around the whole incident. They don't really go into the specifics, we can only guess his motivations based on other women he's "been" with. And considering he legit didn't understand that Stillwell felt nothing but fear for him and he has no understanding of relationships or boundaries and his love for dominance due to deep insecurity he could totally think, in his fucked up mind, that he didn't do anything wrong.

"She's just a human, who cares? They use me, I use them." - Homelander, probably.

I just want it clear that I'm not exonerating him or minimizing Becca's hurt in this next section.

Anyway, this Becca situation loosely mirrors the "black men, "Jeromes" or "Tyrones" as some racists call them, are predators that prey on or seduce white women and give their husbands mixed babies" stereotype. And Butcher's hatred for Homelander never seems to be for Becca's sake. It's selfish, singly focused and possibly includes guilt and a sore ego.

It's also bigoted.

Superpowers or not supes are kind of minority coded like the X-Men. Think of them as an intersectional category like minorities that are rich or people with disabilities that need less support than people with more severe disabilities. Like sure, they'll like fair better in the current system but

The rich minority is still a minority.

The disabled person with less support needs is still disabled.

Vought (the elites) more or less run supes and they are assets. Many of them were injected with compound V as children by greedy or hopeful parents coerced by capitalism so it's a systemic issue.

It speaks to Butcher's character that Becca ran to Vought of all places and didn't tell her husband. He hates supes that much.

Homelander is then kept from that son like black men have been separated from their families, even after black men were no longer forcibly taken as away as slaves they were forced away by welfare policy that would only support black women if they weren't married. It was more feasible to never marry your man and tell welfare you were single because he didn't earn enough to take care of the family.

And likely Vought would have continued the cycle of violence with Ryan if Homelander had not found him. Vought wasn't gonna keep Becca and Ryan safe for free, I assure you.

4. He'll Never Be A "Real Man"

Homelander also occupies that "never quite a man" category that black men are put in. They're painted as dangerous and virile. They're "men" when they're a threat. Yet also belittled and never afforded real manhood. A "boy" when they're being looked down on. "Boy" is a touchy word for black men for this reason. It has as much history and hurt to them as more obvious slurs.

Homelander is lied to and belittled by Vought ofc. He's denied true manhood like them but is made to perform it to a cartoonish degree that I would argue he's actually not happy with. If Vought exists, he will never be free and will never live in genuine peace because his crimes will follow him. Ruling the world would be his only option and that would only "fix" so much.

They made sure he has no real tools or skills to actually run things effectively (he's confused during board meetings and doesn't understand shit). He was purposely made too intellectually incurious and emotionally stunted to truly learn (he deflects and gets angry). He's actually surprisingly inept in some ways. His only skill is that he's scary and dangerous.

High intelligence and manipulation are usually put down as his skills and like sure, he's far from dumb and he's really sneaky. Everyone around him is the most morally fucked liar to ever exist...but I'm gonna be real: his manipulation is not that impressive. Most of it is just intimidation. Folks don't wanna get lasered.

So, he substitutes this denied agency and lack applied skills with hyper violence, materialism, flashiness, cockiness, etc.

A "thug," basically.

"Thugs" are usually just young black men clamoring for real manhood in a world that will never give it to them so they sometimes turn to these things in disenfranchisement. Sometimes they become cops for the same reason.

5. "The Boys," as A Phrase Makes Me Think of Lynch Mobs

This one is pretty subjective so take it with salt as well.

"The boys" is harkening to calling for one's group. And due to Butcher's hard on for killing supes because of his hatred with his group it kind of puts me in the mind of posses of white men that would be informally gathered (sometimes even aided by law enforcement) to enact "retribution" on black men and boys "who have stepped out of line." See Emmet Till.

"Round up the boys, we're gonna hang us a..."

You know the rest.

If Butcher was fully depicted as the morally fucked protag he is in the comics this wouldn't bother me, thematically it would fit. But they hedge on Butcher's morality a little, making him less of a genuine bastard and more like someone with lapsed judgment or faculties who's the "lesser of two evils" so it's just uncomfortable.

Anyway, that's it. I'm just fascinated by the unintentional mirroring. This is likely why, even though Homelander is who he is, women, queer people and POC have a complex love/fascination for him. The only thing that makes him so hard to sympathize with is that his crimes are particularly abhorrent and physically he's more powerful than anyone else and a genuine threat.

I've never been so afraid to hit "Post" in my LIFE.

[cloudsoffire]

hang on i need to obsess over infinite for a moment.

infinite is a very flat villain. he's evil because he was bored, and he holds a grudge against shadow, not for wiping out his friends, but because he beat him in a fight and called him weak. in fact, he despises friendship, you know, because he's a villain.

but infinite's theme implies a much more nuanced character than what we got in sonic forces, and even rise of infinite. plus the way he talks about friendship can lead to some very interesting conclusions, but that's for another day. for now let's just talk about his theme song.

sonic has a couple different kinds of theme music. character themes, boss themes, and misc.

character themes are songs like it doesn't matter or unknown from m.e. shadow has several themes. they describe a character's motivation, mentality, etc. they're a huge indicator of what the character they represent is like. sonic values freedom and doing what he thinks is correct regardless of what others think, tails is aspirational and wants to stand on par with sonic, and knuckles doesn't chuckle.

boss themes include songs like open your heart or what i'm made of. these songs can describe the thought process of the villain, but it's always very situational and specific to a certain character moment. recycling our examples, open your heart is describing a fight where the goal is for chaos to "open his heart," and what i'm made of describes metal, but only in that specific moment.

miscellaneous songs include title songs like reach for the stars, credits songs like vandalize, and others that defy categorization.

infinite's theme doesn't strike me as a typical boss theme, a large contributing factor being that it doesn't play during any of his fights. kinda hilarious actually. but even without that, it doesn't fit the arbitrary criteria i set to distinguish them. it feels a lot more like a character description, similar to other character themes. and it plays when he formally introduces himself to sonic as well. the thing is, unlike most character themes, it doesn't fit quite right with what we see in the game.

with every other character theme, you can compare the words to their actions in-game, and even the smallest details make sense. but with infinite, even if it seems correct on first listen, there's a lot of stuff in it that we just don't see. it's probably due to under-utilization of his character, but there are some lines that make him seem a lot deeper than he's presented.

so without further ado, let's analyze it. (this is my own interpretation, and i haven't looked at the genius page, so keep that in mind.)

------------------

I'm the tallest of mountains

I am the roughest of waves

I'm the toughest of terrors

I am the darkest of days

this is how it opens. it's pretty in character so far. even if it wasn't immediately putting him on a pedestal, he can be any of these things literally with the phantom ruby. could also be referencing his phantoms who knows.

I'm the last one that's standing,

Don't try to stand in my way,

Cause I've been up against better,

Just take a look at my face

infinite is the last surviving member of the jackal squad. he donned his mask to leave behind his "weak" past self, but purposefully covers one eye with a lightning bolt. the same eye that has a scar over it. it's a little interesting how he included it. in leaving his past identity behind, he had the opportunity to cover it up, but instead he kept it. it's almost as if he's punishing himself for some sort of mistake that lead to the scar, something he can't let go of even in his darkest moment. but we don't know what it is because he had it in his earliest appearance.

Cause if you're messing with me,

I am a dangerous weapon

I am the sharpest of blades;

I'll cut you down in a second

in the introductory cutscene, eggman refers to infinite as his "invention," his "unstoppable creation," and an "invincible instrument of destruction." all very dehumanizing titles. it's very possible that this line isn't just infinite bragging, but rather the result of him internalizing eggman's words towards him. he really is just a simple weapon. and even in the game, he's used and discarded like one.

Cause I was born in this pain,

It only hurts if you let it,

So if you think you can take me

Then you should go and forget it

this line is actually what got me to write this in the first place. like oh my god. this line is brushed off as edgy nonsense super easily, but just read it. this is something that i know me and a lot of other people deal with on a daily- no, secondly basis. these are the words of someone who's had to deal with a great deal of mental pain from as early as childhood, maybe even trauma. if we assume this song is from infinite's perspective, as implied by the first person pronouns, it implies that, for lack of better words, his masked slipped for a moment while singing his own praises, before quickly fixing it and framing it as though it shows how tough he is that he doesn't let it bother him.

And after all this time, you're back for more

(I won't stop until they know my name)

So I'll take what's mine and start this war

(I'm coming at you like a tidal wave, tidal wave, tidal wave)

i'm not sure about this one, actually. the first bit is obviously directed towards sonic, but the other stuff seems pretty surface level, almost as though it's a continuation of the previous lines rather than anything super profound. i'm not sure what infinite is taking, and i'm not sure what motivation he has to become well known. to prove shadow wrong? maybe.

When everything you know has come and gone,

(You are at your lowest, I am rising higher)

Only scars remain of who I was

(What I find in the ashes, you lose in the fire!)

i think this section almost feels like infinite is speaking about himself, interwoven with comments about the general "you". it's like he's talking about rising from the ashes after losing everything, with the scars left behind by the experience being the only thing tying him to his humanity. the entire song sounds triumphant, but for the wrong reasons.

When there's no one left to carry on,

(This is an illusion, open up your eyes and...)

This pain (persists), I can't (resist),

But that's what it takes to be Infinite

here's another mention of pain, specifically preceded by the context of loss. i find the last bit especially interesting. infinite is an adjective, the name of the song, but it's also his name. different sites have different capitalization, but either way it could be taken to mean one of two things. one: infinite is an adjective. this phantom ruby causes him pain, but he pushes on for the sake of power. and two, the sadder option: infinite is in reference to his name, saying that just the act of being him is painful, but he has either come to accept it, or is waiving potential concern, ie: another moment of the mask slipping.

the rest of the song is almost all threats, but there are a few lines i want to address.

It's only me and you - who is gonna save you now?

infinite's disdain for friendship bleeds into the song. this line might even exist to directly counter fist bump, which is about teamwork. infinite doesn't even consider the possibility of his opponent recieving help out of the goodness of someone's heart, and when it happens in the game, he gets angry. not because of an unfair fight, but because "friendship is an illusion. you can count on nobody but yourself."

Cause if you're messing with me,

Then you should know that it's over

I don't crumble for nothing

I've got the world on my shoulders

infinite views himself as crucial to something. eggman's operation? maybe. but either way, he feels a ton of pressure on him, equivalent to the weight of the world. he thinks that if he can bear the weight of his burdens, he can accomplish anything. what burdens could he possibly have that would be equivalent to conquering 99.9% of the planet?

so anyway, infinite gets more character development in his theme song than any other appearance, and the development he gets there is extremely interesting. to me, anyway.

i am also not proofreading this so if there are typos sorry

----

ALSO

if any of these lines really are just to be edgy then no they aren't because i like my interpretation better.

[sleepy-aletheas]

It's probably multiple things at play that make theories (or media analyses, really) so messy, and it could be narrowed down to 1) pure plot reliance, 2) shallow understanding or overlooking of themes, 3) overreliance on tropes/archetypes, and probably the biggest cause 4) someone having fun tossing ideas around however outlandish and incomprehensive they are, and someone less (if at all) knowledgeable about the topic takes and runs with it.

Since we're talking about Ratio, we can go point by point, and try to see where these ideas come from, even on a broader shape.

Pure Plot Reliance:

The game brought up the precedence of Aeons being ascended (depending on how we categorize everyone) mortal beings that follow certain Paths of the universe and have their own motives/ambitions to do so. Naturally, this makes people point at characters of any noteworthy ability, personality, or story relevance, because the game established that it's possible. Basically the game is held hostage by Chekhov's Gun, and people will hyperfixate on every detail, regardless of actual in-game logic or the storytelling.

And since we got Ruan Mei, who is the more tied to Aeons character from the Genius Society and thematically as a whole, of course Ratio will be put into the same musings, because as you pointed out, they're narrative foils, and a lot of the time that's enough to toss one character into the box of another and label them the same. (I'll get to this in the archetypes point)

Shallow understanding of themes:

Since HSR's plot can be convoluted if one focuses on the point-by-point replay of what happened, it's easy to overlook themes, or throwing one theme across a large part of the game (and the characters), which usually can distract or even blind to the individual stories told.

So Ratio first appearing on Herta's Space Station and be involved with the Geniuses, and then be a partner-in-crime with Aventurine in Penacony...it's never really about him (which kinda is the point. he's there to help from the sidelines or teach a lesson, but not solve it for everyone else), and that just makes it easier to latch onto 'the big theme' instead of 'his theme'. It's not about Ratio and his values and philosophy, it's about Ratio being smart around smart characters, who seek meaning and acknowledgement of divinity, so of course he must too (sounds familiar?).

Since he's so mysterious, where we don't actually know much about him, unless it's something he himself deliberately shows, it's easier to assign him a theme that was blatantly told the game deals with, than try to piece together from the context of his plot, the subtext of his ambitions, name the themes he encompasses by ourselves, because we could still misunderstand, until the game finally spills more about him.

Simply put, in the wait for clarification, people get impatient and just slap a close enough label and go on.

Overreliance on archetypes:

Which just brings me to his archetype -- the genius. And oh boy, there are many different things to unpack, but I'm already rambling a lot, so, this is just a shallow gripe I got.

As a character that clearly reaches the brilliance as the in-game established Genius Society, it's easy to just take the decades of tropes, archetype variants, and a certain assumption of irl 'geniuses' create an unpleasant, dehumanizing portrayal of smart characters. And in Ratio's case, it's really the assumption that he wants to reach godhood, sees anyone outside the GS as lesser, that he must have a superiority complex / that he got an inferiority complex for not being acknowledged by Nous; and this is an assumption established in-game and reflected irl.

It doesn't matter how much the writers give him humanity, how passionate he is, how gentle he can be, how thoughtful and bratty and compassionate; it will be swept under the waves of '"oh, he's a Smart Character, so This is his personality and goals" regardless of how obvious it's portrayed. It really doesn't help that him and all the GS members are narrative foils, so people would need to care to separate them into individuals and not one hivemind of Smartasses.

Fun times:

This point is probably the least important one, but somehow way more damaging with the reach it can have for the dumbest reason. And it's simply by misunderstanding the source.

Ex.: Someone heard someone else make a lighthearted joke (and took it seriously), or someone put out a crack theory and the person didn't know that was what it was.

Sometimes (a lot of the time, personally) it's just fun to take some building blocks of this game and reshape it, play with the colors, the themes, the characters, the possibilities. That's the beauty of theory crafting, we can read too deeply into something or add explanations that most likely will be false and debunked later down the line. We are operating with a growing story that doesn't have everything set in stone

But this is an active game that can attract new people at any moment, and they'll blindly look for more information and most likely not double check the validity, taking the fun fanon ideas and ramblings and think it's canon. And that's ultimately the burden the game (and by proxy us) have to live with.

It's no one's fault, really, just an unfortunate way how this works (unless the theory was made by a follower of Mythus or Aha, then that's purposeful and diabolic, 10/10).

So..yeah? I rambled on and on again, I'm so sorry. But this is an interesting topic that has more layers and different branches to follow, depending on the goal of the conversation.

Ratio being a mischaracterized, misunderstood, mysterious character just takes the more obvious brunt of this, since we do care about the game version of him.

My reaction (or rather rebuttal) to this amazing theory by Lalody’s lore; and how I think it exposes a problem with theory making in general

Now disclaimer, I would like to start off by saying that this is not an attack on the creator of this video in the slightest. This is a very well researched and thought out theory and I 100% understand why she came to the conclusions she did, even if admittedly I believe they are a bit of a stretch. I also am not here to debunk anything, lore is not my speciality or something I really care about in general, and admittedly I’m not very well versed in it even if I know the basics.

Rather, this post is going to be discussing this theory from a thematic/charaterization perspective, and why I think it’s wrong because of that- as well as how it exposes problems with theory making in general.

This is going to be mostly a stream of consciousness-style rant, and although I recommend you watch that video before reading this (both because it’s a) very good, and b) obviously relevant to the conversation), I’m going to be speaking very generally about the content in it, so you don’t necessarily have to watch it.

Alright, on with my major problem with this theory: ie, never in a million goddamn years would it make THEMATICALLY make for our dear Veritas Ratio to willingly become an aeon

His whole character is about being human and humanity man

Ratio, in essence, is the most human character in Honkai Star Rail, and I don’t mean that literally, as there’s reason to believe he isn’t.

Rather, him (as well as Aventurine and Acheron) are characters that embody the human spirit/what it means to be human.

I could talk about them at length later, but in Ratio’s case, the story makes a point that despite how remarkable his life and achievements are, he is still at his core, human, mundane, and not unique in the face of the universe- that is what makes him INTERESTING.

He objectively has amazing accomplishments- ones which by far qualify him to be a member of the Genius Society- Lalody mentions it herself (and thank god for that).

However, every step Ratio takes, he reaffirms his humanity and mundanity- LITERALLY

He calls himself a Mundanite constantly- hell he made a whole secret society of them, he believes that any person, fool or genius is capable of living their life to the fullest, and he dedicates his time trying to help them rather than chasing the stars himself. Ratio is very self aware, admitting he’s not good with people and can be rather abrasive, admitting he knows how he comes off to others, but refusing to change despite that because that’s who he is. His opening a chest voiceline has him saying that he accepts the material offer it values- like any man would. Never in Ratio’s life has he distanced himself or put himself above others, and the quest introducing him is called the MUNDANE and the Divine for a reason.

At his core, Ratio is no different from any other person and that’s what makes his objective exceptionality meaningful. He’s a character that smacks you in the face with how even the average person can achieve great things in live- that creativity and intelligence aren’t limited to Geniuses- aren’t limited to those acknowledged by Nous, by the divine.

Hell, that’s something I ripped straight out of his first character story because at his core this is who Ratio IS

He is a rejection of the divine- not an embrace of it

To make Ratio an Aeon would take everything he stands for away, and be a direct spit in the face to how inspiring he is both in universe and for the players.

Making a character whose whole thing is saying “you do not need to be extraordinary to do great things,” and then going “hah psych he’s a god actually and this is unachiveable for normal people, just like every other genius- you know, the people he stands against!” would just suck. It would suck. I don’t have more intelligent words for this other than saying that doing THAT would suck ass.

It’s not that Ratio couldn’t become an Aeon, it’s that he would never WANT to be one. It would be the most tragic thing ever to do to him, and would hurt him in every way possible to do so. Tearing him away from the thing he cares about the most, from what defines him as a person would be worse than killing him off in my opinion, and in universe he would hate that more too.

There’s several reasons why he doesn’t like the Genius Society, and their disconnect from humanity is one of them. Hell, when Screwllum invited him to work together, Ratio instead of centering the project in aeons, chooses to focus on people instead. Screwllum likens them to both ends of the spectrum- with himself and the rest of the Genius’s exploring Divinity, and Ratio Humanity- or rather Mediocrity.

That’s also why me and my Screwllum loving friend believe that in “The Mundane and the Divine,” Ratio is the Mundane and Screwllum the Divine, so to make both of them divine would ruin that dichotomy, and the whole opposites thing he currently has going on with Screwllum, Ruan Mei, and the Genius Society in general.

If he’s an aeon- if he’s divine too, then who is left to be the mundane?

2) Why is he stealing Ruan Mei’s and Acheron’s nachos

If any of our playable characters are going to become an Aeon, it’s her for obvious reasons. From a meta perspective, pulling that same shit twice or robbing Ruan Mei of the plot line she deserves and slapping it onto Ratio is cheap and stupid, especially considering he’s her narrative foil which only again goes to prove that it wouldn’t make sense for him.

As for Acheron, the reason I mention her is because the only Aeon I can actually see Ratio becoming is the Existence- who a) probably already exists b) finding them is her storyline anyways, and if anyone is going to become them, it will be her c) although I absolutely believe Ratio’s personal philosophy is incredibly similar to Acherons, they’d actually have to interact on screen once before it would make sense for that to happen.

Either way, the theory itself is an interesting premise, but there are far better characters to ascribe it to, which leads into my final point.

3) Why the hell would the writers do this?

Just because they can doesn’t mean they should, and from a thematic and character perspective, I have already gone over why if they care to actually do his character justice, they would never ever consider making Ratio an aeon, unless it’s against his will or something.

Which is why I think this video is actually an exemplar of the problem with theory making in all fandoms now a days- ie; people don’t actually stop to consider whether their theories make sense in the story.

And I don’t mean logically. Honestly I’m going to call this the Game Theory Effect because they do it better than anyone- just because something can happen in a story doesn’t mean it should.

The writers could make Ratio an Aeon, they could go “oops it was all a dream” again in Penacony and local astrophysicists could theorize on how I managed to throw a brick at my computer at light speed. They could do literally anything and justify it in the process because HSR is a work of fiction, but that does not mean the story itself would be good.

This is more of a criticism of how people approach storytelling in general, seeing media only for their plots and not for their themes, which is frustrating beyond words, because at least in my opinion, the most interesting parts of stories are their themes. Also, I feel that when debunking theories, people should focus less about the logic behind them, and more about whether they would actually make sense or not to be involved.

Moreover, Lalody’s video raises some very interesting ideas, and it’s caused me to think of a storyline involving similar elements- but in an opposite direction.

What if Ratio was initially Divine- but willingly became Mundane. Maybe it wasn’t willing and he was forced to be this way, but either way, it would make far more sense- and be far more interesting- if we see him reject divinity rather than embracing it.

It’s no secret Ratio’s lore is sort of a black hole at the moment, which is half the reason why so many crazy theories about him exist- we barely know anything about the guy personally. However, I’d liked to see it filled in a way that doesn’t completely demolish his current character, or who he literally is currently, as I rather like Ratio in his present form, and a bait and switch might actually drive me a bit nuts, just saying.

There’s plenty of speculation to be had, especially considering that one Cosmodyssey occurrence that haunts my every waking hour game please explain, but I’d like the hsr community to move away from the “Ratio is super special and extraordinary” direction, because what makes him interesting is the fact that he ISN’T

[0perfectimperfections0]

Hiya! I absolutely adore your Lou fanfics. That man has emotional baggage the size of Mount Everest, and I'm so happy to see him getting comfort. I was wondering if you might write a sleep deprived or sick Lou who gets taken care of by Ox and Mandy (or any character you like) after trying to hide it? I'm a sucker for fluff or angst. Again, thank you for writing your stories! They're awesome! I love how he struggles with feeling like he should be absolutely perfect.

Aw, thank you! Yes, Lou has a lot of trauma that he's working through. Luckily now, he doesn't have to deal with it alone. But, he's still learning that fact with the help of the gang.

Also! Just because I got asked this in the other Fandom I write for, my prompts aren't necessarily in a specific order. Like, I place the prompts in the timeline that works best for the story. So, for instance, this one will be before the "Hugs" one where he stays with Ox. Cause I'm sure Ox would make ABSOLUTE SURE that Lou went to sleep every night.

And same, I'm a sucker for fluff and angst. I absolutely love that prompt! Let me see what I can do...

<><><><><><>

He had grown to be quiet after his turn in the wash. Most of the dolls who made their disgust with him known joked that the water had made him lose his voice. The airheads often considered the term prototype to be something akin to the robots around the village. And they didn't stop at that. Lou was essentially dehumanized as if he hadn't been when he was first created already.

But the silence he kept himself under was off-putting.

Ox was obviously the first to notice. He didn't allow the blonde to stray from his sight as he cleaned the floors. It was the tiny things he noticed day by day. The way Lou's legs would give out on him periodically. The mop looked bent from where Lou seemed to be putting most of his weight against it as if he couldn't hold himself up on his own accord.

The bunny nonchalant had made a comment or two about his concern to the others. He was met with discord, which didn't come as a surprise to him. But, Mandy and Moxy didn't have much to say in opposition to his comments as the others did. That had to be a good sign, right?

And now, as he stood by the wayside with a close eye on the prototype, he was mildly shocked to see the two girls walking up to him. "Don't think we haven't noticed you hanging around here all the time," Mandy commented as she stood beside him.

"I'm just worried," Ox didn't take his gaze away from Lou. "Somethin' doesn't look right."

"Well, that washer did a lot more than we thought it would." Moxy hummed.

Ox's ears twitched, "Very funny, Moxy. I won't talkin' about his actual looks."

"I know," Moxy was quick to raise her hands defensively. "I mean the washer did something to his head." Another glare in her direction. "I mean mentally!"

The concern knawing at him was the culprit for his short temper at the moment. And both girls knew that. And, to be fair, Ox had every right to believe that any comment made toward Lou was to be taken offensively.

There was a sound that caught their attention and the dolls looked up to see Lou had collapsed on the floor. Ox immediately rushed over and tilted the blonde's head toward him, "Lou? Lou!" He turned to Mandy, "Get Lucky Bat!" The Ugly was the closest thing to a doctor that would stand a chance at helping them. Ox couldn't depend on the Pretties to any extent. Not with his brother.

Lucky Bat could ensure that Lou was still alive. Exhaustion seemed to be what drove Lou to this state. "We need to get him somewhere to cool down," the bat waved a wing over Lou's face to try and relieve the red hue that had overcome it. "And he needs sleep. When was the last time he's slept?"

Ox opened his mouth to answer before realizing he didn't know. Once Lou was done with his job and disappeared into the shed, Ox always assumed he was safe and no longer had to worry. "I don't know."

Fortunately, Ox didn't have to ask for any volunteers. Mandy gently picked Lou up. Moxy piped up before Ox could speak, "We can take him to my house!" Ox blinked in surprise at her. She rubbed her arm, "I feel like I owe it to him...I mean, I did kinda start this whole thing. It's the least I can do."

He let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding in. It felt relieving to know he wasn't the only one in defense of the blonde. It took a lot of weight off his shoulders. Mandy gingerly followed the two to Moxy's house, Lucky Bat trailing along to keep tabs on Lou. The dark-skinned doll looked down at Lou worriedly, "He's not moving at all, except for breathing. Are you sure it's just exhaustion?"

"If it is sleep deprivation, his body probably forced itself to shut down to keep from something worse happening." Lucky Bat recalled through some of the human books his kid had brought home from school. Health was one of the subjects that caught the Ugly's attention.

"Worse?" Mandy didn't like the sound of that.

Lucky went skittish, wringing his wings together, "If it goes on long enough...I read that it can cause death."

______________

There were some murmurs around him. None of the words could be heard clearly, but it sounded like more than one. Lou hummed, brows furrowing from the pain in his head. The voices quieted down and something wrapped around his hand, "Lou?"

The blonde blinked his eyes open groggily. His eyelids felt heavy and his body wanted nothing more than to go back to its unconscious state. Ox stood in front of him, a paw clasped around Lou's hand tightly.

"...Ut...ppened," his speech wasn't working properly.

Moxy was sitting beside him on her bed, "You passed out earlier."

Lou couldn't find the strength to speak again, no matter what little he said before. Mandy walked into the room with a rag. She folded it and laid it across his forehead. It was cool. Some of the throbbing he'd woken up to numbed down after a moment.

"You gave me a scare," Ox chuckled airily, eye still trained on the doll to make sure nothing bad happened.

"All of us," Mandy corrected. She fixed some of the hair that had stuck to Lou's face, brushing it behind his ear. The red flush in his cheeks was starting to go away. "How much have you been sleeping?"

He didn't want to answer that question. It was already obvious where this was going and he wasn't ready for the chastisement awaiting him. He'd already dealt enough with that. Yelled at for not working enough. Yelled at for not sleeping enough. Nothing was ever enough anymore, was it? And with how the company treated him, he didn't feel like there was ever a time where it was enough.

"Lou?" Ox pressed.

"...Oo...rs," his voice was still weak. He tried clearing it, "T...oo."

Moxy's eyes widened a smidge, "Two hours?" The blonde nodded shortly. "Lou, you've only been sleeping for two hours every night? You need more tha--"

"Eek...," Lou whispered.

"Huh?"

He took in a breath, bracing for the reprimanding, "T...oo...ch...eek."

Their jaws dropped and Moxy dared to interpret what he'd said, "Two hours a week?" After a moment of hesitation, he nodded.

Ox looked away, taking in a breath to calm himself down. He turned back to Lou, squeezing his hands, "We're havin' a talk once you've got your speech back. I want you to sleep."

"An't...," the faintest whimper escaped Lou. His chest heaved.

"What?" Ox was scared the worst was happening.

"...P...ease...c...an...t," a tear trailed down Lou's face.

Mandy kneeled down beside the bed to hear him better, "You can't what? Sleep?" He nodded. "Just relax, okay? You'll be out like a light--"

"O," he choked out. More tears followed.

Ox instinctively sat up on the bed, putting a paw on Lou's cheek, "Hey, it's alright. Why can't you sleep? Is there somethin' stoppin' you?" Lou nodded, sucking in a sob. "What is it? Maybe we can help."

His chest still rose up and down erratically, "...Ight...ares."

Moxy understood immediately, "Nightmares?" Her heart sunk when Lou nodded. The gang exchanged looks. Moxy remembered the times her kid, Maizy, would have nightmares at night. She would stay with the girl overnight instead of going back to Imperfection. Maybe that's what Lou needed. Someone to stay with him. All those nights alone in the shed...not to count all the years in the Institute. It had to have done something detrimental to his sleep routine.

"I'll stay with you, how about that?" Moxy offered softly.

He didn't respond right away and she half expected him to not answer at all as she adjusted herself beside him. "...Ank...Oo."

She smiled, wrapping an arm around him. "I'll stop by Wage's," Lucky Bat piped up, "he'll need to eat something when he wakes up."

Ox nodded in thanks and turned to Mandy, "Thank you for bringin' him here. You can go now if you want."

She shook her head, "I'll stay." Gingerly, she sat on Lou's other side, back resting against the headboard. "Something tells me he'll need all the help he can get."

"Thank ya'll," Ox felt more of that weight lifting off his shoulders. He looked down at the blonde whose eyes had grown too heavy for him to keep open. He carefully took the rag off Lou's head, "I'll resoak this."

After a few minutes, he walked back into the room. He stopped short and a wide smile crossed his face. Lou was definitely sound asleep now and without a nightmare. He was turned on his side, arms wrapped securely around Moxy with his face buried in the top of her head. She smiled at Ox when he walked up to the side of the bed. Mandy had laid out fully on the bed and wrapped her arms around Lou from behind. The Pretty Doll was out like a light along with Lou.

Ox just opted for turning the fan on a higher level and sat the rag down on Moxy's desk. "Ox," Moxy whispered, "Could you get the blanket in my closet?"

The bunny retrieved a soft grey throw blanket and draped it over the three. He patted Lou's leg softly, "Let me know when he wakes up." She nodded. Closing the curtains, he closed the door behind them.

[bestworstcase]

I'm sorry, "he manipulated her into serving her abusers"? No. Just. No. Salem didn't tell him about how she led an army against the Gods that ended the world (The Gods' fault for being so fucking petty, but also Salem's fault for also being so fucking petty and self-righteous that she thought she could hurt Gods. Not to mention how she was so willing to throw away as many lives as possible just to get payback at the Gods) because she was worried he would hate her for it. Oz didn't tell Salem about the Gods' mission because he was unsure of the truth. The God of Light tipped him off that something had changed about Salem, that she wasn't the same person, and then when he got back, she looked that THAT. I wouldn't have kept the truth, too. It's exactly the same as what RWBY did with Ironwood. They saw the state that Mantle was in, and decided to keep the truth from him until they deemed that he could trust him. It was Salem who decided to try and unite humanity, not Oz. He didn't manipulate her into doing that. He also didn't manipulate her into choosing to become the new Gods. He went along with it, but he didn't manipulate her. He finally decided to spill the truth for the same reason RWBY did for Ironwood: things had gotten out of control. She was massacring people and she was enjoying it. And sure, she was calm as he told him, but then she suggested they commit mass genocide because she saw these people as lesser, and replace them with their own race. That's a sign that she was too far gone. She was not the woman he once knew, he was scared of her, you could see it in his face. Especially when she caught him with the children. She was suggesting that they use their own children to repopulate the world.

And, does it matter whether Oz decided to seal the Relics away first or not? If he did, it was because he knew how dangerous they were. He recognized that Salem or others might attempt to take them and use them. If that is what caused Salem to strike, that's entirely on her. In the end, yes, the Gods are to blame. But you seem to be intent, from my understanding, to shift a lot more blame onto Oz than Salem. Was he paranoid? Yes. But he had a damn good reason to be. Though the fairy tales from the book should all be taken with a grain of salt, it is evident that there are seeds of truth amongst them.

Both Salem and Oz are victims. Was he the "chosen one"? Yes. And you know what that got him? Continually punished over and over again. Oz is being punished just as much as Salem is. Unlike Salem, who shows she cares little for others and sees herself as higher than them, Oz has been humbled. He sees them as people he must protect, and he watches them die over and over.

Oz is not innocent. He's made mistakes, mistakes that have led to the death of people under his wing and people he cared for. He lied out of fear and when confronted with the truth he ran. When Salem's lies were put into the open, she attacked. I see far too many people hope that Oz and Salem reconcile and try to defeat the Gods together and that's just disgusting. Salem has hurt him, hurt people he cared about. She kidnapped, tortured, dehumanized, experimented on, and turned people - living people - into her pets. She tortured a 15-year-old boy. Whatever Oz may or may not have done, nothing is comparable to the horrors and atrocities she has committed in the name of her own selfishness and pettiness. Maybe if she had tried to come to Oz of her own free will, without suggesting mass genocide, they could have talked about a way to be free of their curses. But she didn't. She murdered and mutilated and took great glee in it. Because in her twisted sense of justice, she deserves this pleasure after the Gods took everything else away from her.

*clears throat* all the devastation salem caused in atlas is ruby’s fault because ruby is so petty and self-righteous that she thinks she can stop an immortal sorceress orders of magnitude more powerful than anyone else on the planet. she threw away the lives of all those people just to get payback for the fall of beacon. so selfish of her, fighting back against a terrible evil more powerful than she could fully comprehend until now.

🙄

the gods responded with horrific, over-the-top cruelty when a grieving young woman had the audacity to take no for an answer from one of them and then ask the other for the same thing, then lash out after they revived and immediately killed her dead lover twice, a completely understandable and human reaction for which they decided she needed to suffer for eternity or until they decided she was sufficiently contrite.

then—after apparently several decades spent trying to kill herself, given that a whole new kingdom forms in the interim—salem fomented a rebellion against them and they slaughtered every. single. person. on. the. planet. to punish her for it.

the gods were not just “petty.” the gods are evil tyrants who feel entitled to do whatever they please with their creations and became incensed when humans defied them. the god of light explicitly views modern humans as inferior imitations of their ancient predecessors because they lack the blessings of the gods—i.e. magic—and he fully intends to kill them all again should they fail to sufficiently redeem themselves for what salem did, something they had nothing to do with on account of not having even existed at the time.

according to the gods, humanity as it is now deserves to die. if the relics were brought together and judgment day happened now, everyone on the planet would be killed. is that fair? is that just? is that right?

ozma decided that it was, when he chose to commit himself to the task of redeeming humanity. he is the chosen one of an evil god and it’s brought him nothing but suffering and a slow, painful corruption of his own ideals. because he serves a tyrant who holds that humanity deserves to die.

salem told him the salient information—that the gods slaughtered everyone—and may or may not have told him about her rebellion. (jinn says “salem, fearing ozma would reject her, blamed the end of the world on the gods.” that is not a statement that precludes salem sharing the events leading up to the massacre; she put the blame where it belongs, and the amount of detail she went into is ambiguous.) he told her nothing. they were happy for a time, and then ozma started to fret about humanity “seem[ing] more divided than ever.”

he’s the one who brings it up as a problem. salem suggests a possible solution and offers wholehearted support for something she believes is ozma’s personal ambition. she hears him worrying about the chaotic, troubled state of the world and enthusiastically goes well then, let’s use our power to help, let’s fix it!—at which point ozma visibly realizes that there’s a critical disconnect, because he wants to unite humanity to appease the gods and salem went right to making the world better than it was under the gods. he listens to her whole spiel with zero concern about the points she’s making until she says they could “create the paradise the old gods could not,” whereupon he goes D: and glances away as he realizes this. the time to tell her the whole truth was then, and he knew that, and he chose not to.

that’s where the manipulation lies. salem said something that firmly, unambiguously confirmed she would never get on board with the divine mandate—inherent to the idea of creating a paradise without the gods is the idea that humans not only don’t need the gods but might even be better off without them, and that worldview is simply incompatible with the view that humanity needs redemption in order to be worthy of existence—and ozma recognized that but still didn’t tell her the truth. he accepted her support for YEARS without ever telling her that his “ambition” was actually a mandate coming from the gods she despised and fundamentally opposed.

and then, once he started to get cold feet about the crusading tyranny thing, he dropped the mandate in her lap instead of engaging with the moral question of whether being crusading tyrants was the right call. “this isn’t what he asked of me” is a very different objection from “going to war to force our way of life on everyone else is wrong,” and we have no way of knowing how salem might have responded to the latter because at no point did ozma try to make an argument besides “the gods told me to do this.”

ironwood makes a good point of comparison here: imagine if, instead of the kids consistently challenging ironwood on his escalating authoritarian tendencies and urging him to choose another path, they had instead gamely gone along with everything he said and allowed him to think they agreed with him completely, only for oscar to confront at the very end not with an argument that abandoning millions to save a couple thousand is wrong but by going “ozpin told me he disapproves, so you should stop this.”

( kshfbsk also like. you realize that salem is effectively a grimm faunus, right. she’s a person with the physical traits of a grimm but a human soul. salem inexplicably looking like a grimm but still acting like a person in a world where other people equally inexplicably had animal traits is, um, not equivalent to mantle being crawling with drone soldiers and propaganda feeds and special forces who arrest people for defending themselves against the grimm. “ozma didn’t tell salem the truth because she looked scary and lived in the wilderness far away from all the people who told him scary stories about her and also kept their faunus slaves in literal cages” is… not the defense of him that you think it is )

and look: even if you buy that salem’s reasoning was “one of our four daughters has magic, therefore nothing the gods said matters and we can murder everyone to breed new magical humans somehow”—which, for the record, i don’t—the right thing would have been to challenge her on that thinking, the way oscar did with ironwood at the end of v7. ozma… didn’t do that. he was shocked and then he wavered for a moment before walking out, even though—as her partner, and someone she cared about enough to implicitly and immediately forgive him for lying to her for so long about something so important—if anyone could have gotten through to her, it would’ve been him. (see also: there’s a very quick beat right after she catches him leaving where salem relaxes her hands and begins to glance away while ozma visibly braces himself—it’s like half a second but very obvious once you notice it—followed by a very close shot on salem’s face as she catches that movement, startles, and angrily retaliates. like. ozma tensed up because he wasn’t sure how she would react, but salem started to back down until she perceived that motion as aggression. ozma had just revealed to her mere hours ago that he serves and intends to keep serving an evil god who threatened to kill everyone: she’s no less shocked, horrified, and blindsided by ozma’s moral position here than he is by hers. given that she was also fully dressed and headed for their daughters’ room in the dead of night there’s every possibility she was going to do the exact same thing, i.e. take the kids and run because her partner just sprinted past the point of no return. but because of that moment of hesitation and reaction, i think she would have been receptive to discussion had ozma actually tried to reason with her—just as ozma would have been receptive to discussion if salem had actually followed through on backing down.)

( and if she meant literally anything else, like for example “the gods left and won’t come back unless we summon them, so none of their threats matter and we can carry on replacing them as the new gods instead of ‘redeeming’ these humans,” then even just a single question about what she was thinking could have resolved the whole thing peacefully. their daughter having magic wasn’t relevant to the discussion and while jinn constructs the narrative to imply otherwise, and ozma was definitely unsettled by the development and had it in mind when he told salem the truth, there’s no indication that salem connected those dots. if salem were otherwise obsessed with magical power, sure, it’d be open and shut, but salem has literally never once spoken of magical power in a positive light. it’s always qualified with “it brings with it a crippling weakness” or “remember that it comes with a cost” and half her interactions with cinder involve salem trying more or less delicately to get cinder to STOP fixating on it and her methods are oriented around exploiting weakness and turning her opponents’ strengths against them, an approach that can and does succeed without requiring the use of magic at all. she’s… not exactly hung up on magic. )

anyway.

fundamental to my reading of salem is that i don’t think ozpin is correct about what she wants: that this isn’t suicide-by-eschaton, it’s salem going for the relics now because she has what she believes is a workable a plan to take down the gods. (that was her ultimate ambition for millions of years before ozma reincarnated. i don’t believe she’s abandoned it just because ozma committed to serving them.) also, the gods 1. hate her and have gone to extreme lengths to torment her, and 2. already ensured she would live and suffer through one extinction and apocalypse. salem has EVERY reason to expect that if the gods return and rule against humanity, they’ll obliterate the world and leave her stranded in the rubble again or worse.

she also knows exactly how cruel, exacting, and unfair the gods are. she knows that what the god of light meant by “demand our blessings” was “ask for things i don’t think you deserve,” because he perceived her genuinely humble first plea as a demand. she knows that this is an impossible ultimatum because as long as she is alive and defiant the gods will never, ever be satisfied, and they WILL condemn the rest of humanity for her defiance because they’ve done it before. and she knows that ozma is fully committed to carrying out their will, which means that if he ever feels like humanity is “united” enough, he’ll bring the relics together himself on faith that the gods will rule in humanity’s favor, and he’ll be wrong, and everyone except her will be killed. again.

i wonder why ozpin suddenly locking the relics away in magical vaults after engineering an unprecedented global peace by doing exactly what she once told him was necessary to unite the world, which is crushing everyone who stood against his ideology in battle and forcing them to submit to his vision of the world, might have FREAKED HER OUT A BIT. it’s a mystery.

ozma isn’t responsible for her choices, for the terrible things she’s done and is doing, but he is responsible for his own: for choosing to bow to a god who told him flat out that his entire species deserves to die. salem’s hatred of him, and her determination to prevent him from succeeding in his divine task, cannot be separated from her resistance to the god he serves.

[ravysu]

Sannin headcanons and thoughts

The last thing I would like to post for the sannin week. It is still 24.04 here! :D @sannin-central

This is long. Spoiler alert. Mostly Orochimaru, some Tsunade, a little of Jiraiya (because his story is pretty clear and spoken and idk what I can add). Also I recommend to read this meta about Orochimaru, it has influenced me a lot and has some good points. Sorry for any posible grammar mistakes. Also I really should put here a lot of references to the manga or anime but it was something that was piling up for a year and I'm soooooooo lazy. After all, those are just headcanons. Also: Im not excusing Oro's bad stuff here, Im trying to understand the reasons.

Ive already posted some hcs, here, here and here.

1. First if all, the chronology pic of sannin lifetime based on the info i found on naruto wiki and also some statements about wars from this post. It was tough considering what a mess naruto’s chronology is.

2. Sannin story shows what it cost to be a legend. They're like Team 7 but more realistic. Tsunade literally carried the war but left with nothing and developed a ptsd and have problems to just live on. Also anger control issues. I think she can be pretty bossy and stubborn which is not always nice. Jiraiya is the hero of the day but also very idealistic and can ignore some important details in the real word whether its the fight (he always injured during flashbacks maybe because each time he took too much to handle and on the one hand it's heroistic but on the other is a mistake that can lead your team to situations like in that Iwa cave) or your friends issues (I bet he saw what's going on but thought it's fine until Oro actually got red handed and left). He lives in his world and may have problems to get out to see it through someone else's shoes. As for Orochimaru, it seems like he was a normal guy for 20+ years (I mean, he didn't do crazy criminal shit and had something good in him and it was stated somewhere that it was his teammates influence. It is obvious they considered him as a friend, I don't thinks it was for nothing) but we mostly know his darkest side. Despite being a moster he is a human that have empathy and some ordinary human traits (man just decorates every bit of an environment he is in lol).

3. Tsunade was the leader of team Hiruzen.

4. Tsunade sometimes hit Jiraiya for some stupid things he did or said but never touches Orochimaru even if he did something same. Jiraiya complained about it once and almost got another hit.

5. Jiraiya had problematic parents that didn't care about him much and a lot of time he was wandering in the streets.

6. Judging by the look of Oro bangs and hair, he sometimes cut it off. A stress relief huh? And the fact that he doesn't do it now in Boruto..

7. It was shown that Tsunade and Orochimaru was acknowledged before they become a team. Maybe they did just before, or maybe some longer time before. I prefer the second option and hc that they met because both had no real friends - Orochimaru seemed weird and scary for everyone and Tsunade was Senju so everyone wanted to hang out with her but didn't really care. They weren't seen as what they were - people put the labels on them. But they didn't care about each other's labels and actually saw each other in true lights.

8. Tsunade knew it was an accident and it's not right but still she blamed Orochimaru for Nawaki's death for some time. It was something that seriously damaged their friendship and the team. Orochimaru was mad but also guilty, after all, he was responsible at least as a shinobi since Nawaki was under his watch. So he started to act cold and emotionless and was trying to distance himself from his teammates.

9. Jiraiya was in Ame while Dan died.

10. The whole his orphans mission was a bit irresponsible tbh. They already fought Hanzo and as he stated the conflict between Konoha and Ame is going to an end with Konoha's win. It's weird to stay here for three years in the middle of the war while there were other lands to fight. He left his teammates for some idea. Maybe that caused another crack in their team friendship.

11. If Tsunade would have find a way to live on with her trauma and follow the will of fire and stuff it would affect Orochimaru as well just as her grief affected him. It's like he would get an example that you can live on with this pain. So death isn't above human capability and we are not just the slaves of mortality (sounds stupid but i dont know how else to describe sorry). But as we know what he actually saw is that it broke her crucially to the point she couldnt be herself again. And so the death is above everything.

12. Oro wasn’t just acting as a cold pragmatic bitch in that cave but also tried to save Tsunade. Jiraiya knew it and that’s why he showed this sign to him like "I see what youre doing here" and that stunned Oro because he would prefer to look rather like a cold pragmatic bitch hehe

13. Just a thought. People in the village probably treated Oro as a foreigner or just wouldnt accept him because he looked so differently and had a weird attitude. That's why he sometimes didn't feel that Konoha is his home. After the wars where people were treated as means and tools, even the children, he himself developed this view on people - he dehumanized them and used as the means to his goals, just as his village did. Funny thing some people were straightly dehumanizing him too like Ibiki thought that he was a demon (tho he was a child). And he probably weren't the only one. Anyways the point is that it's logical that Orochimaru don't care about anybody but some few people, he's the product of his era. He's like Naruto that would chose the hatred way. But naruto had some good and understanding people around him and.. Orochimaru had them too, but match how Iruka treated Naruto and this Hiruzen's "I sAw tHe mAliCe in This cHiLd fRoM tHe BegGinNinG". And oro didn't even have a big ass evil fox in him. sry i hate hiruzen

ANYWAYS the moral of the story is not "go criminal if they hurt you" but always treat people like people. Waving my hand to Kant.

14. The reason why Orochimaru didn't pick some good morals to stick with through the hard times no matter what (like, idk, Jiraiya or Naruto) is because 1) I think he is/was pretty depending on people around him 2) the war fucked him and his friends up too much (Nawaki incident + Tsunade) 3) twisted addictions (though I don't think he's that sadistic, we never saw him torturing randoms just for fun, it was always some science experimental shit. He tends to get fun out of cruelty only when it's personal) that maybe developed as a way to sublimate anger and sadness caused by his parents loss (that's what they share with sasuke - unlicke naruto, they knew their parents and it's other kind of pain. Sasuke developed a revenge issue and Orochimaru - cruelty pleasure which... is kinda the same but less epic and more occasional lol).

15. Speaking of that, Orochimaru cared for Sasuke because he saw himself in him.

16. Oro hold grudges against Hiruzen for not choosing him to be Hokage not only because he was ambitious and/or egoistic, but also because Hiruzen was some kind of a father figure for him and his approval was important tho i doubt he was aware of that. He also probably could tell that Hiruzen was suspicios about him when he was a child and that led to many conflicts and was hurting as well.

17. Tsunade knew things weren't pretty with Orochimaru after the wars but she never expected them to be this bad. During the week that she was given in her arc she thought not only about how much she wants to see Nawaki and Dan again despite how wrong would it be but also was trying to bury all the good memories she had left of Orochimaru so it would be easier to kill him.

18. She poisoned Jiraiya exactly because she knew he would not let her do it. Jiraiya was always hesitant to kill and inclined to forgiveness, while Tsunade, as mentioned by Orochimaru, could be merciless (so much so that he was not surprised when Kabuto suggested that she wanted to use Jira for Edo Tensei).

19. That was one of her traits that scared Jiraiya and fascinated Orochimaru.

20. Remember how Oro grabbed Jiraiya's neck when the latter was trying to cover with hair jutsu? On the snake, in Tsnade's arc. Orochimaru could have easily kill Jiraiya by pulling the sword out of the mouth (arteries are right there) but he didn't. As well as he could kill Tsunade when she was still shaking - just aim for the neck or the heart. Instead, he just injured her lung and kicked her which is not a big deal for the kind of shinoby like her at all.. Also he helped Anko not accidentally kill herself but it would be way much profitable to let her do it. "Orochimaru has no feelings".

21. The reason he suddenly wanted to kill Tsunade instead of forcing her to heal his arms as it was planned (which is weird since it will not going to get him heals and he kinda said that he wouldn't want to kill her just minutes ago) is that not only she refused to help him (he thought he could work it out) but she also prefered the village over him (from his point of view). Out if everyone she was the closest to being able to understand him since the village caused her painful losses too but nevertheless she agreed to be on it's side.

22. He wasn't fighting her back in the end partly because he thought he deserved that. Somewhere deep inside hahah.

23. Tsunade got a fear to develop deep bonds so they probably weren't very close with Shizune (also the way she knocked her down in this hotel.. oh).

24. Orochimaru will be here when she'll die.

25. Orochimaru's eng dub to Tsunade: "I often wondered what it would be like to ring that pretty neck yours". No comments.

26. Orochimaru is either bi/pan or ace. Anything or nothing lmao

27. Hiruzen knew about at least some of the Oro’s illegal experiments and was okay just as he was okay with the Foundation all the time. Because it’s useful. Then he has discovered he went too far OR he knew everything and oro just became too inconvenient because of his methods. The way Orochimaru tells Sasuke about reasons they are well treated as the criminals is based on in his experience with Hiruzen.

28. As you may know the lyrics in Orochimaru’s music theme goes “don’t talk with the silence of the heart”. It was taken from one Indian song that also had lines like “don’t question life too much”, ”pain arose somewhere in the chest”, “don’t speak to the wounds of the heart”. Though I’m not sure 100% because I was translating it with some hindi dictionary with like zero knowledge of hindi

29. I like to think that this “silence of the heart” theme and the fact that he called his village a hidden sound village are somehow connected. The hidden sound is the possible explanation of all things waiting to be listened to but the truth is silent and you know it deep in your heart and it bothers you. The world is silent just like the life is meaningless but people can only hear. *Sigh* anyways

30. Orochimaru’s journey is the one about accepting death. When he saw Karin released her chains while was trying to get to Sasuke he understood that the death is a part of human’s strength.

Can’t wait to feel that everything I wrote is wrong or not enough or stupid and obvious lol. Anyways, it’s something that I wanted to share until I move to some other fandom.

[rocksanddeadflowers]

Tumblr keeps hiding the reblogs I'm looking for today for some reason ..... think I finally got it. (Also you had better get better sleep soon! Hope you're doing alright.)

Agreed I refuse to think Carmilla would purposely name him Brian... at least in this timeline. I like how you put that she may have heard his name. Maybe even snooped around for it after he was stable to be certain? I think she certainly either heard the name and assumed/hoped it was his (and further discussed that later if he would want to be called that or to choose a new name, since I'm banking on Carmilla being open about but not very knowledgeable on what happened to Brian) or (the only other option I can think) that she didn't know his name and let Brian choose one himself. At the time, Brian found it to be a very unique and splendid name, maybe even the name of a musical artist he adored. Also idk where we're setting this specific AU but Beauty and The Beast was French right? I don't think Brian was a common first name in 1700's France, so maybe at the time and place of picking it, however Carmilla and Brian got the name, it was special! I still don't think Carmilla would purposely pick Brian without reason tho. I also thought maybe Brian is actually an acronym, but that kinda feels dehumanizing for the mother-son vibes here to me. Also I'm bad at acronyms.

OBSSESED WITH HOW YOU WROTE CARMILLA FINDING BRIAN BTW. EATING THAT. Carmilla could probably detect the heartbeat faster and easier than normal people bc of her powers too I'm sure.... this is fully were I think she mixes her mechanics and magic btw!!! Using magic to ensure the beats don't tapper off as she runs homes, hooking what's left of him to things in her workshop to keep the heart functional and not die or dry out, casting spells to ensure its safety and all... already falling in love with this new life she's taking under her wing. Going full mama bear yes!!!! Exactly!!! So the village wanted a witch to prosecute? Let her shown them real magic then. And oh after Brian being tied to a tree again... uagh!!!! Brian rides off on horseback and reaches the castle quicker, but Carmillla is close behind and fully tears the mob a new one after they're tossed from the castle. (<- she only isn't immediately following Brian to ensure his and Jonny's well being because she trust Brian to do it right on his own, and following behind protectively, no matter how badly she wants too, could screw the whole thing up for Jonny and everyone else, and she's aware of that as the actual enchantress.)

To be honest the name change was a half asleep joke I made lmao... whoops :). Though I might keep that name for something else entirely unrelated bc it sounds neat. Marius will always be von Ram in my heart (and Lyf has to say von Raum like that. Whether or not it's written in a fic you just know it's said that way). Maybe when someone first points out the meaning of Marius's last name they're like"???? that doesn't make sense???" and suggests the other name to make more sense (idk why. Maybe since Gaston is a hunter so, so is Marius? Or he at least wanders in the woods a lot acting like he's hunting and completely knows what he's doing. totally). Marius is like "no it makes perfect sense" with zero elaboration and ends up on the towns' witch watchlist or something. "We're not certain he's a witch or anything, he's just very odd. Suspcious. Maybe an accomplice to one?" He isn't one yet but he probably will be soon lmao.

GOD everything you wrote about Tim and Lyf and Bertie!!! Sobs........ wails even........... I will also say that I was picturing dialogue between them as I fell asleep last night (brainrot lmao). (Also dialogue is not my strong suit so I'm mostly paraphrasing my thoughts.) Lyf crying, almost completely yelling if they had had the voice to do so, about the pair taking everything. Their home, their loved ones, their culture, everything they knew rubble and waste. (Of course, Tim and Bertie caused the same of their own home, but that was their choice.) They might even have a small, dulled knife brandished in front of where they're curled in on themself as they yell. "You're right," Tim would probably say. "We, well- we didn't choose to fight this war, we never wanted war, we just wanted it to end, but-" "-but it doesn't excuse our actions." Bertie might finish. "We know that. What's done is done though, and right now you're sick and hurt. We only want to help you. We can't bring anything back, but you don't have die here." That's basically what was in my brain last night. (You literally made me scream with "we just wanted it over." btw.)

Also extra tidbit I feel like after they finally convinced Lyf to join them and they make their way out of the ruins of what may have been Lyf's home, they have to lay low and hid out as they travel. So there's DND style quest camping nights. (My brain runs fully on creating images I am cursed to only bring to life through word so bear with me anytime I say I pictured something lmao.) I pictured them, on the first night together, huddled in a cave near the edge of a mountain range in the woods, not far from the ruins but far enough to feel safe enough to crash for the night. They get Lyf settled down first, and one prepares a small fire while the other digs around their bags for anything useful. Water, food, medicine/first aid, clothes, etc. The pair treat what they can, give Lyf medicine or bandage their wounds, whatever they have that Lyf needs. They find rations and water if they're lucky, and settled close to the fire. From the mouth of the cave, they can only see the forest extending before them. Above though, despite everything, it's a clear night. Clear enough to spot constellations or the moon phase, whatever one make be knowledgeable of. An end of year breeze still fills the cave, the lack of day chilling their bones of cold. They keep close to their fire, and close to each other. Who knows what tomorrows brings? Hardships, but hopefully something new, something kind. Even if mistrust and hurt lies between them, they sleep close to each other that night.

(Yes exactly!! Big dumb brothers!! I'm so soft for the protective older brother(s) character trope...... there's something special about the older siblings bullying and beating up their younger siblings but going above and beyond to take care of them in the real world. "The only person/people that can mess with my younger sibling is me/us!" trope!!!!!)

And exactly! I was about to bring up Carmilla being the royal enchantress too! You are actually fully in my head.............. Carmilla being everyone's mom as always. Also putting the taking in servants that way..... I love that so much. I've been watching Dimension 20's Fantasy High a lot recently and this makes me think of Jawbone!!!! (A werewolf NPC who lived a crazy life and got offered the school counselor job by the student PCs, so he fully turned his life around! I adore him.) I felt like Jawbone having an insane and traumatic past makes him far more empathetic and understanding to kids when he becomes the school counselor! Easier for unwilling kids to open up to him when they need to too I feel like. I think sure maybe he shouldn't be as open about certain things with actual 15 years old, but that brutal honesty is refreshing to some kids. Or at least it was for me at that age, considering the random lore drops from my mom lmao.... My point is! Not only are these parents empathetic to the strays they're taking in and giving good work and housing too, but having a "colorful" staff to take care of their kids while they're gone is just really cool! Their past experiences might make it easier to connect to their kids verses people who were trained to be constantly formal. These kids don't really need all these servants, they need genuine people to be there with them when their parents are gone. I went on a bit too long about that but I hope that made sense? ("Jonny! How could you call your own mom a kooky old cunt?! Apologize!!!!")

Also Nastya being close and learning certain charms and stuff, but not being fully an Enchantress, same as Brian. After their parents are gone and Jonny gets worse and worse, Carmilla and Nastya prepare to leave and already has everything planned out with her. Carmilla saying Nastya doesn't have to take the fall, but Nastya insisting. Between the two, Jonny might still listen to Carmilla before Nastya, so she needs him to have less of a grudge against Carmilla when they both leave. Carmilla leaves a few months in advance, returning in secret only the cast the spell with Nastya. Carmilla again asking if she's fully prepared for that, or is she would at least want to stay with Carmilla after all is said and done. Nastya sticks her to plan, though. She pretends to cast the spells, Carmilla does it, and they go their separate ways, but hoping to be reunited again one day under good circumstance.

Jonny loving the little casual braids!! Brian curled into Jonny as he does it gods........Jonny acts aloof and neutral about them but he refuses to have them taken out ever. (Bonus points: final fight scene and Toy's blade nicks a braid clean off, and Jonny is pissed)

Nastya totally has things for everyone! She carried them as a comfort at first, that eventually she'll be able to gift them these. God how ecstatic she would be for that to actually happen in the end!!!! Also when she finally returns and has a chance to pass around her gifts, Marius totally pouts about not getting anything (mostly joking), and she's just like, "Um, I didn't know you??? Do you want this cookie?" and he almost cries.

EVERYTHING YOU WROTE ABOUT HER RETURN!!!!!!! (Also in response to Nastya asking about Marius, Lyf (now finally taller than him) grabs him by the ear, "He's my problem, unfortunately," with a small smile as Marius mumbles "Ouch!! Rude!!!!") Just! Her being so overjoyed to see everyone again!!! So proud and happy Jonny learned how to love!!! Gods!!!!!!! ("So you preferred the beast form then? Even though the curse is lifted? I figured you might..." "It grew on me, okay?" "You were always a weird little creature," "Little!?")

Also about him staying a beast- imagine if after the curse broke, it was similar to Sophie's ageing curse where in the end that part of it became less of a curse and more of his character. But the amount of beast he looks can now shift based on his emotions and stuff after the curse broke, like how Sophie's age fluxuates based on her feelings. Jonny usually remains normal beast sized, because that's how he feels genuine and true, so it takes a while to figure it out. But eventually something happen to make him shift. A nightmare or bad storm throws him into a bad panic, and he becomes smaller and less furry and as he shrinks in on himself. Someone or something endangers Brian and sends him into enough of a fury to almost double in size and become genuinely horrifying to look at. It usually has to be something intense to shift, though. After that they work on him controlling and understanding it better! This is also an aftermath effect Nastya and Carmilla had no idea would happen.

With Marius- Yes exactly!! He felt so embarrassed about his fear of them until he found out they're the Tim and Bertie who demolished two kingdoms..... validation!

Oh yes Raph backstory!!! I love it!!!!! I feel like her getting hired was like "No, we don't really trust you as the doctor, but you're good with knives like that, want to be a chief for now?" which she takes. She does always suggest letting her vivisect people like prisoners who did some seriously bad stuff. It's usually still a no, except for when someone tried to assassinate their kids. They let her have the assassin for whatever she wanted. (Or, if the assassin was hired, let her carve the information out of them to find the person who paid them, so she could have them to study too.) For the most part she might channel that energy into messing with butchered farm animals as she preps for dinner! I can't think of anyone who enjoys processing animals like that, so anyone else in charge of food or livestock probably always lets her have that. Also she has a little sharp knife like glint in her eyes (dangerous curiosity) that terrify people who aren't used to it. Also she might love science stuff in general, but anything like that, namely from a woman, could also be considered witchcraft anyway. So there were many limitations until the castle (she's shocked she even got the doctor role, but that town was pleasantly desperate).

And oh!! I hadn't seen that title idea yet- I like that one more!! The one I tossed in was just a couple stand in relevant words to help me find this post later. The Consequences of Creation and Love. Neat!

Beauty and the Beast, but it's the Mechanisms.

Jonny must be the beast because feral Jonny and the whole heart thing... prove me wrong.

Tim or Brian is Belle.

Rest of the Mechs are the servants in the Beast's house. With an exception for Marius as Gaston cause I can totally fucking see it. He would suck at it though because it's Marius. And also, short Marius HC.

This is probably not new. But it's been brewing in my head for a good few months, ever since I put my Mechs OC in the iconic Belle dress.

[sam-t-a]

Okay. 

*Deep breath* 

I think I’m finally calm enough to put into words exactly why I hated the finale and why I wasn’t completely surprised that I hated it. 

(Heads-up: this is really long and pretty negative. If you disagree, I would of course appreciate your point of view and love to hear it, but just thought I’d let you know in case this is the kind of post you would like to avoid.)

To me, it felt like every character on the show got betrayed in some way or another, but the main ones are Han Seo (devastatingly), Chayoung (obviously) and Han Seok (bear with me). 

Cha Young: 

She started out as a solid FL who annoyed some people for sure, but who had so much promise as someone unconventional and bold. The way her mother’s death affected her and caused a clear shift in her personality was a super interesting plot point that really never got explored. We have no idea how she came to sacrifice her morality in joining Wusang, just that she wanted to spite her father, which is a very superficial exploration. She gets cute idiosyncrasies in lieu of an actual character and an actual character arc. 

We also, halfway through the show, seem to forget that her father's death was the initial trigger. Cha young does not suggest bold ideas or intricate plans, she doesn’t fill the gaps Vincenzo is incapable of filling (because that would require that Vincenzo have flaws, and that’s not something the writers can abide), and she’s literally victimized in episode 19 and bedridden in episode 20, and that is IT. 

Someone who started out supposedly as Vincenzo’s equal just became another piece in his chess set, no matter how important a piece she may be. 

So her role as a badass avenger is trashed. That leaves her role as a love interest. Now, as Vincenzo’s love interest, she was supposed to get kidnapped in like episode 5 or 6 at the most if the villain has any brains whatsoever (Han Seok may or may not, more on that later). We need a reason for that not to happen too early. Cue villain is somehow in love with her for all of 15 minutes or so throughout a 20-episode series because a love triangle is inconceivable with the show’s current structure and for its purposes. 

So, she spends 15 or so episodes making the first move on Vincenzo, every time, putting herself out there, creating cute moments, getting nothing in return, and then he leaves. No confession, nothing much, he wasn’t even going to say goodbye or give her the choice of coming with him. 

I’m sure more chayenzo-oriented fans have already expressed all the necessary outrage over this, so I’ll move on to the part that I’ve personally been way more emotionally invested in from the get go: the Jang brothers. 

Han Seo: 

I was among the minority that  hated the “Vinny hyung” angle from the get-go and I’ve ranted about it in another post, so I won’t get into it here in-depth, but basically it was because I felt like Vincenzo hadn’t earned it, so to have the last words Han Seo hears be “You deserve to be my brother” or whatever the fuck he was on about PISSED ME OFF. It’s VINCENZO who doesn’t deserve to be Han Seo’s brother and hasn’t done a single thing to earn it. He was a good ally. The situation he allowed Han Seo to be a part of was beneficial to him, but Han Seo’s attachment to him was neither healthy nor heartwarming, and it certainly wasn’t returned on the level he offered it.

Vincenzo’s disregard of his death didn’t strike me as odd because I never saw enough indications that this was a two-way street and Han Seo’s safety and well-being came second so often that I didn’t get the impression Vincenzo was doing much to keep him alive. This is what I meant when I said the show was glorifying a torture survivor’s trauma responses. Han Seo himself, as a torture survivor, meant nothing to them. He was just there to create one more contrived comparison between Vincenzo and Han Seok. Instead of recovering from the trauma, it’s simply employed to someone else’s favor. He doesn’t go to prison for Han Seok, he takes a bullet for Vincenzo, and we’re supposed to see that as so much better.

All of that might (JUST MIGHT) not have ruined the show for me if he’d died better. 1) It was narratively pointless and totally avoidable, 2) they could’ve framed it as heroic, but instead Han Seok’s hand patting his head is pushing it down, so he can’t even get shot with his chin up and his back straight, Taec’s already taller, so the angle’s fucked and the whole cinematography screamed “kicking an injured puppy” and most certainly NOT “survivor finally stands up to his abuser”. The final nail in the proverbial and literal coffin is that he is mourned by no one. They’re FLIRTING not 3 MINUTES LATER, it felt so tone deaf and left such a bad taste. As I said, I didn’t expect significant mourning from Vincenzo (gotta say, I didn’t expect no mourning, that was a shocker), and Cha young and the tenants had no real interactions with him and no reason to mourn him, which left only one person who could. 

Which brings me to Han Seok. 

Han Seok started out as a solid villain, clear goals, clear skills that help him achieve his goals and basically make him a villain worth defeating, and a very complex relationship with both his own psychopathy and his brother. 

Let me get it out of the way: I do not believe Han Seok is capable of killing Han Seo because he had every reason and every opportunity to do so in previous episodes and couldn’t do it (I say couldn’t because a certain degree of reluctance is in itself inability). Han Seo’s danger far outweighed his material value the minute he shot Han Seok and then completely lost any value once he came out to the world as the chairman and it became clear that the prosecution would be going after him if anything happened, and not his brother. But time and again, he’s proven he’s all bark and no bite when it comes to Han Seo (killing-wise, specifically). 

The scene where he asks him to beat Vincenzo to death could be interpreted as him wanting to give Vincenzo the “painful death” he would have given him, but honestly, I think he was way past that point. He just wanted him dead in the “You crazy? we have to kill him before he kills us” sense. To that end, killing off a key ally of Vincenzo’s, who betrayed you and almost got you killed a bunch of times, should take priority, but Han Seok’s priority is reclaiming Han Seo by forcing him back onto his side. Now, much like his “love for Cha young”, Han Seok’s keenness on not killing his brother was essential to the writers so that Han Seo can justifiably make it this far and still be useful to Vincenzo (he can’t help if Han Seok completely excludes him from all events, plans and management processes, so Han Seok needs to want to keep him on his side enough not to do that even when it’s more prudent). 

All of this isn’t to say it’s unbelievable that he would kill Han Seo, but it’s DEFINITELY unbelievable that he would stay the same man after killing him. Someone here (I’m sorry, I don’t rememebr who) once said that Han Seo had become, over time, far more of a foil to his brother than Vincenzo was. To me, this means that Post-Han Seo Han Seok would be out of balance (tilted screen), unhinged in a way he never was before. The Han Seok we see shrugs and “oh, well”-s and moves on in a flash, not really any different from the villain he was four minutes and a whole brother earlier. 

This is very consistent with the way the show has been de-humanizing him from the start. I’m not saying this to defend Han Seok in any way, he’s a serial killer, an abuser and a total maniac. But you can be all those things and still a human being. In fact, you can ONLY be those things if you’re a human being. The show used its villain vs villain idea to justify a lot, but in the end, Vincenzo had to be a protagonist. He had to follow up every “I’m a villain” with a contrived “but at least I’m not (insert something worse)”. 

On the level of humans:

1) Vincenzo is supposedly different because he doesn’t hurt children or women (unless the women deserve it, and shooting a parent in front of their kid doesn’t count as hurting.) 

But we never see Han Seok hurting women or children either. In fact, if we proceed with the “chayoung is the myung hee of the good guys” comparison, he hasn’t hurt any women nearly as badly as Vincenzo did. 

2) Babel vs Mafia 

Babel’s corruption is compared a lot to the mafia, with Vincenzo commenting repeatedly that the people are WORSE than the mafia...which is bullshit. Babel is a set of companies that provide goods and services, but use illegal means to maximize their profit, so they hurt/kill people in the process because they want more money and care about money more than ethics. The Mafia is an inherently criminal organization that functions PURELY on the basis of its criminality. Every single dime Vincenzo spends is blood money. None of it is clean. And while we’re on the topic, I find the whole “taking Miri under his wing” thing pretty unreasonable too because he tried to have her killed you guys, I cannot believe we’re just glossing over that. He had everyone who worked on that vault killed, just random fucking construction workers. And he’s not sorry. And the show tells you he shouldn’t be. 

3) Repentance

Han Seok says outright he won’t atone, and while Vincenzo says no such thing out loud he just...doesn’t repent, I guess. He keeps the blood money, he goes back to being a full-time mafia dude doing mafia things. He leaves the same man he arrived. 

So, if on the level of harm inflicted upon humanity, Vincenzo and Han Seok are pretty much equal (and Vincenzo might actually be worse), then why should we root for Vincenzo? 

Well, my friend, that’s where the dehumanization comes in! 

I was initially very excited to see their portrayal of a psychopath because of the very interesting ways in which the informal moral code and official justice system surrounding a psychopath/sociopath/narcissist affect their behavior and their chances of not turning out rotten, and the show looked like it was looking at corruption in general. 

But as the show went on, the villain vs villain thing proved not to be enough, Vincenzo has to be better in some way (or if you’re as obsessed with him as the writers are, then ALL ways), so it became a villain vs monster narrative. Vincenzo isn’t ethical or fair or in any way interested in having a remotely positive impact on society, but at least he’s A HUMAN BEING unlike SOMEBODY. So, the characterization goes to shit, Han Seok becomes a cartoon card-board cut out of a villain and emphasis is put on how pointless his violence is, as opposed to how purposeful Vincenzo’s is. 

This is dangerous on multiple levels (and I promise this is the last point I’m making). 

1) For people in general, dehumanizing abusers/murderers/etc. makes us very liable to forget that you don’t have to be “a monster” to cause harm, and it makes people complacent in their belief that they are “not bad people” since they aren’t total monsters. The Banality of Evil is a thing, and in this series, it goes completely ignored. No one is inherently incapable of good or inherently undeserving of humanity. 

2) For victims of abuse in specific, it’s dangerous to portray abusers (including serial killer and non-serial killer ones) as entirely bad and unlovable, because it poses the dual risk of making victims less likely to acknowledge their abuse if it comes from someone who cares about or loves them on some level because the idea that someone cannot both love and hurt you is so stereotypical. Your abuser can genuinely want you in their lives and need you and, on some level, love you, and IT DOESN’T MATTER if that love doesn’t stop them from hurting you. 

On the other hand, portraying the victims of abuse as capable of flipping an off switch and hating the abuser with no hesitation or second thoughts to the point of unapologetically and cheerfully helping someone kill them and having no mixed feelings about it sends the message that if you CAN’T do that, then are you really abused? Are sure you’re not complicit in your own abuse? Do you even want to get rid of them? 

So this is basically why the way the show ended was so painfully disappointing for me. And the main reason it hit so hard was that it was initially so good and had so much promise. I really expected more.

[distinctlywhumpthing]

Together 4: Glass.

Previous — Masterlist — Next

CW: explicit language and content, torture, captivity, wounds, implied sex work, strangulation, choking, suicide (hanging), suicidal thoughts/explicit planning, mouth whump description (bleeding, asphyxiation, choking), breathing, attempted noncon, bruises, beating, conditioning, dehumanization, noncon touching, drugs, alcohol, multiple whumpees, multiple whumpers, whumpee as caretaker, letmeknowifimissedany

August once asked what they do to me. Mouthed it, like he couldn’t stop himself from forming the words, but didn’t bother voicing it out of horror or just because he knew I couldn’t answer. I wouldn’t fucking know where to begin anyway.

Probably down on my knees.

At this point, our situation boggles my mind even more than when they trained me to be silent. That was logical when you psychoanalyzed it but shit got fucked sideways when August came into the picture. It’s just senseless now, an unending labyrinth of manipulation and control. Double the captives means double the fun. I was lucky to be alone for so long. There were two others before him but never like this. In the grand scheme of things, they’re all mere drops of water in the swimming pool of my time here. It was another woman first, although I never learned her name. She seemed like a Tiffany or a Heather and was really pretty, too but never trusted me. Wouldn’t even look at me, as if I wasn’t just as much of a prisoner as her.

Poor thing was in the wrong place at the wrong time and saw something she shouldn’t have. She didn’t last long at all. Unraveled faster than you can say, “Money’s on the table.” You’d think she’d have a little more grit. I mean you hear stories and can only imagine the shit they put up with in that industry, but it was like something out of an exorcist movie. Crying hysterically, throwing herself at the walls and doors, and trying to strangle the life out of me like I was sitting on a key. They came in and intervened but not before she’d purpled my neck so I could barely breathe. That was the only time they ever took the shock collar off. She spent the next bit catatonic and then one day when they brought me back, she was dangling by her own diamond-studded jeggings from a pipe on the ceiling, toes just a few inches from the ground. Damn slow way to die. They took out the pipe.

I’ve given it a hell of a lot of thought myself. She’d obviously been trying something similar with smacking herself into the concrete walls, but that will only get you a concussion that makes it feel like you’ve gone a few rings deeper into Hell. No, thank you. My choice would be the naked lightbulb on the wall, next to the door. If I shoved it far enough down my throat before it broke, I’m pretty sure I would asphyxiate before they could do anything. The key would be to bleed enough into my bronchial tube and inhale enough shards of glass to shred my lungs a bit. A little internal bleeding down my esophagus wouldn’t hinder the cause but certainly wouldn’t be fatal on its own, never mind the risk of just cutting my tongue and mouth to ribbons if it breaks too early. In that case, I’d be fucked. That’s why Wyatt leaves it there, uncovered, even though other lightbulbs down the hallway have metal cages screwed over them. Tempting me to risk it. He also knows that, now, I’d never leave August. I feel responsible and that’s why he holds my life in his hands. The torture will never stop and August is better off with me to take care of him in whatever way I can, even if it doesn’t even come close to reparation.

—

The next guy was probably mid-thirties and built like a truck. I can’t begin to imagine what he did to wind up here. He didn’t take to captivity well either. Everything they’d put into him, he’d let out onto me. The first time, he was angling to get a sweeter kind of release than just wailing on me. I was pretzeled around one of the legs of my bed frame, while he punched and clawed at me, so hell-bent on not letting go, I was screaming my head off for help despite the collar. If there’s one thing I know, it’s that Wyatt doesn’t like anyone to touch me. That went over like a lead balloon. Playing off his proclivity like somehow I had any right to decide not to be raped. Wyatt would have stopped it anyway and I could have saved myself the next few days of my bunkmate beating the living shit out of me undisturbed as long as he left it at just that. As soon as Wyatt decided I’d learned my lesson, or was sick of seeing me limping and bruised, that guy was fish food.

The second bed was empty for a long time after that even though I’m sure there were others. Wyatt has a list a mile-long of people he’d like to get his hands on for one reason or another, but I never saw them. Wyatt would still bring me out to toy with me in his usual ways. The buffoons would bring me out when he wasn’t around for entertainment but they know better than to touch me more than cursory shoves to keep me cooperating and even then, more often with their phones or other inanimate objects, rather than their hands. To them, it was endlessly entertaining to get me high out of my mind and mess with me or make me play Emma Fortyhands until I puked all over myself. I should have known Wyatt wasn’t wasting any time during this plateau of suffering. From what August says, he was here for a handful of days, maybe even two weeks, before they made us roommates. Wyatt just talked to him, drilling him for hours. He had been screening him, looking for the perfect match before binding us together in torment.

They always take me first and bring me straight to Wyatt. He likes to talk to me about what he has planned for August, trying to get a rise out of me. Like I’d be dumb enough to think that any amount of disgust or fear on my part would make a lick of difference for August. If anything, Wyatt would double it just for my reaction. Next, Wyatt makes sure I’ll make it through what he has planned for me without passing out. The humane thing would be to give me a second meal or something but instead, he gives me whatever his henchmen have lying around. An unpredictable twist added to my slow destruction. I’m lucky if it’s an energy shot or some gross drink that tastes like fruit-flavored battery acid and leaves me shaking. More often, it’s “just a bump” of something that makes my heart race and the whole session so unbearable I’m screaming in my head at the top of my lungs until I come down.

One time, he gave me a tab of acid. His favorite kind of experiment, the ultimate demonstration of his success. To no one’s surprise, I’m conditioned enough that I still didn’t speak and followed every instruction. That was, no contest, my worst day on this fucked-sideways merry-go-round. I was tripping so hard. Too slow and too fast at the same time, no distinction between myself and everything around me. Wyatt’s barbaric plan turned into a barbaric fuck-up. A small part of me understood what I had done even before I came down and when I stumbled out, I was met by silence instead of the usual dumb peanut-gallery comments. They threw me into the shower after, like always, but left me there for hours since I was still tripping. I was hysterical by the time they let me out. By some miracle, or just Wyatt perversely delaying the end, he had actually called a real doctor.

—

Today, Wyatt hands me a double shot of whiskey because it’s “cute” to watch me struggle when I’m tipsy. I knock it back in one swallow, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of knowing how much that frightens me. He finishes getting me ready and then smacks me on the ass to get me moving. Once I’m in the room, he starts feeding me instructions even though I already know what he wants from me today. This way, he’s in control of my every action, like he’s thinking for me, while I just focus on getting air into my lungs, fighting through the alcohol hitting my bloodstream and burning in my empty stomach. I can throw it up in the shower later if I need to. I just need to survive this.

By the time I stumble out, I’m inevitably a mess. Crying, shaking, and covered in sweat, even on the days I get the raw, straight edge experience. One of the baboons walks me to the small concrete room, empty except the industrial-looking shower head in the ceiling above the drain. The controls are on the outside of the room which is how they make sure the water is ice cold and stays on for exactly five minutes. They take the collar off and I get a bar of soap before they lock me in. It used to be orange soap bars that made my skin feel dry even wet. After that, it was green with the same problem but a stronger smell that clung to me all the time, which wasn’t half bad. Lately, it’s a white, rounder bar, that’s distinctly feminine, and leaves my skin soft, which would be concerning if I wasn’t already too balls-deep in my worst nightmare to care.

I used to dance in and out of the freezing shower while I soaped up but now I stay under the whole time. It’s the only thing that makes any damn sense anymore, the one small touch of reality in this shit storm. I stand under the frigid water and then shake and shiver once it’s turned off until the cold becomes a buzz on my skin and in my veins. Depending on the day, I wait for seconds or hours until they toss me a small, scratchy towel and clean clothes. The waiting is part of it. Not because I’m covered in goosebumps, muscles cramping so that I have to curl in on myself for heat, but because of what I know is waiting for me next.

When they finally let me out and lock me into the collar, it’s all I can do not to run back to our basement hole as fast as my legs will carry me to make sure August hasn’t bled out or gone into shock while they kept me from him. It’s all I care about anymore, helping him survive, making him as comfortable as possible. Honestly, it is the least I can do. It’s my fault he’s here at all, kept to be part of a set. Not to mention the heinous torture. If I had known, I would have done my damndest to kill him before it ever even started.

And I would have inhaled that fucking lightbulb immediately after.

Previous — Masterlist — Next

Taglist: @deluxewhump

[yandere-daydreams]

Kinktober - Day Eleven

Prompt: Office Desk

Pairing: Kuroo/Reader (Haikyuu!!)

TW: Non-Consensual Touching, Abuse of Power, Implied Financial Manipulation, Sexual Harassments, Delusional Mindsets, and Dehumanization.

It wasn’t even his desk.

Kuroo didn’t have one, technically. He had a dedicated conference room, three different phone numbers, and business cards he found a reason to hand out so often, you’d learned to put in a request for replacements every other week whether or not he asked, but he didn’t have a desk, he just wasn’t on-site enough for there to be a need. You had one, though. As his personal assistant, you had your own office, something you never would’ve dreamed of when you first signed up for an internship under the Volleyball Association. It’d seemed like a miracle when he first showed off your new territory, and you thanked him so profusely and so wholeheartedly, you were almost scared he’d revoke the privilage just to calm you down. For a few weeks, you’d loved it. For a few weeks, it made you feel like you belonged with your infinitely more qualified coworkers. For a few weeks, it made you feel like you were an actual professional.

Now, it just made you feel like a trophy, one who’d been more than happy to lock itself into a gilded case.

You find yourself wishing you hadn’t put so much effort into decorating, a lot of the time. It might’ve made it easier to let Kuroo bury his face in the crook of his neck if you didn’t find your attention drifting to the painting you’d hung on the closest wall, just over his shoulder, from your current perspective. If you’d never brought in a succulent, short and round with needles that were softer than they were sharp, it might not hurt so much to hear the ceramic pot hit the floor and shatter as he shoved it to the side, your skin stifling soft curses as dirt and shards of clay spilled over the carpeted floor. You might not feel so filthy, if you hadn’t thought to bring in a framed picture of your family, all smiling faces and bright expressions and prying, unblinking eyes that burnt holes in your back as his fingers brushed against your thigh, as his teeth brushed against your shoulder, as he touched you in a way that was anything but appropriate for the workplace you thought you could grow to love. The workplace you really, really wanted to love. The workplace Kuroo had laughed at, crumpled, and ripped to shreds the moment his hand dipped to your lower back and he admitted you’d be doing more than just making spreadsheets and scheduling appointments.

He’d just come back from one of his frequent business trips earlier that afternoon, and it showed. You should’ve made and excuse the moment he called you from the airport, the moment he told you he’d be stopping by the office to finish some post-contract paperwork, and you should’ve screamed when he took you by the wrist and asked you to stay for just a few minutes longer than the rest of the staff, for just long enough for you and him to have the floor to yourselves. You’d just nodded, though, agreed and let him drag you onto your desktop, posed like a perfect, complacent, obedient doll as he took you by the hips and forced his tongue down your throat. You could only consider yourself lucky he’d gotten bored of your mouth quickly, and his lips were on your neck, now, biting and sucking until he knew he would leave marks.

The receptionist would probably ask you about it tomorrow, and you’d laugh and say your date last night had gotten a little intense. It’d be a lie, but at this point, telling the truth sounded more implausible than any amount of fictional one-night stands and nonexistent boyfriends ever could.

You wished he wouldn’t talk, you really wished he wouldn’t talk, but Kuroo had never been very good at keeping quiet. ��A week.” He was muttering, mumbling, talking to himself and only barely bothering to process the idea that you might hear him. You couldn’t blame him, honestly. You tried not to talk when Kuroo got like this, and he liked to fill the silence. He didn’t seem to care whether or not you were listening. “Those fuckers kept me away from you for a week. I couldn’t think about a damn thing,” He chuckled, shaking his head. You couldn’t see him, but you felt his grin as it pressed against your shoulder, Kuroo eager to get you as close as possible and trap you there, until he was forced to let go. “Almost fumbled the deal ‘cause I was so desperate to get back. I thought I was losing my mind, for a second there.”

“You could’ve called.” It was a weak attempt to placate him. You were thankful for every hour he was gone, for every minute you could concentrate on your work rather than the needs and urges of your boss, but you might be able to tolerate more exposure to him, if it just meant he was a little less touchy when you saw him in-person. “It’s not like I have anything better to do, when you’re not here.”

He pulled away, at that, just long enough to send you a playful smile and bring up one of his hands, nimble fingers soon toying with the buttons of your shirt, undoing them with all the grace and all the speed of someone who had far too much experience. You didn’t bother trying to stop him. Last time you did, he’d left a ring of bruises around your wrists, and your back had ached for days, afterwards - hell, he’d even threatened to cut your pay for ‘insubordination’. If you resisted, it meant he got to be rough with you. And if he was rough, he wouldn’t stop being rough until he knew you were too beaten-down to make the same mistake twice.

“Missed me that much, huh?” You didn’t deny it or indulge him, but Kuroo was already moving on, tugging on your sleeve and letting crisp, white fabric wrinkle and pool, exposing the top of your chest. Your fists tightened as he kissed over the area above your collarbone, your nails biting into your palms as his teeth sunk into tender flesh, harsh enough to draw specks of blood. There was a moment to let the indents set, a second of searing, burning pain, then Kuroo withdrew, looking over his work with a satisfied huff. “You shouldn’t say things like that, baby. Every time you do, I think about how sweet it’d be to bring you home.”

There it was, the ever-looming threat, the worse alternative - he was going to bring you home. He’d told you about the life he wanted countless times, ranting about how nice it would be to have someone to keep his bed warm, about how he’d always like the idea of a stay-at-home partner, about how cute you’d look in an apron and little else. Spending a third of your day dealing with Kuroo was bad enough. You couldn’t, absolutely couldn’t let him monopolize your personal life, too. “I like having a job,” You managed, hastily, straightening your back and forcing yourself to take him by the shoulders. “I’ve never been very good at cooking and cleaning, I’m a lot better with--”

“You’re a lot better at keeping your dirty mouth shut.” Instantly, you fell silent, and Kuroo hummed contentedly. “I know you can learn, (Y/n). You’re so smart, and resourceful, and beautiful - that’s why I hired you.” You winced at the admission, but he didn’t seem to notice. The only hint that he acknowledged your disappointment came in the form of a fleeting peck to the corner of your jaw, an arm snaking around your waist and pulling you towards him, until your chest was flush with his. “You know how to do what's best for yourself, and I know what’s best for you. My pretty little secretary is never gonna work for anyone else. I’m the only one you whore yourself out to, right now, and I’ll be the only person who gets to see your face everyday, nobody else can.” He paused, but he didn’t hesitate. His tone was arrogant, when he continued, confident. As if there was no doubt in his mind you couldn’t take care of yourself, not on your own. “Nobody else deserves to, besides me.”

You weren’t a secretary, you were an assistant. It was a small distinction, and aside from the name, there was virtually no difference, but it nagged you, eating away at something in the back of your mind until you had to say something. You almost corrected him. You tried to, but as soon as you moved to speak, there was a shove, a push that left you lying on your back and made your desk shake under the force. A jar of pens tipped over, a stapler toppled onto its side, and something made of glass fell over and cracked, loudly. Your picture frame. It had to be your picture frame, you were sure of it.

For some reason, you had a feeling you wouldn’t be replacing it.

[spookyboywhump]

Yo this drabble has been due for. A long time. But better late than never right-

Some content early on in Zander’s time with Cain

CW: Charles Whitaker is a big part of this one so obligatory child abuse warning (Cain is an adult in this piece though), pet whump, dehumanization, hand whump, brief mention of spiders

***

Daniel- no, Zander, learned the dynamic of the household within the first few days. Cain owned him, and though he made a genuine effort to assert that, he wasn’t very good at it. Cain got angry quickly, he got frustrated with any disobedience, but it was more discouragement than anything, as if he were irritated he couldn’t handle his own dog.

Cain, was owned by his father- only to be referred to as Sir or Mr. Whitaker, from Zander anyway, almost the same from Cain he realized. Cain was his son, but Zander quickly picked up on the fact that Mr. Whitaker treated him the way he expected Cain to treat Zander; like an animal.

As much as he didn’t like Cain, he didn’t like the way his father spoke to him more. He didn’t blame him from seeming to avoid the man, dragging Zander from the room whenever he came in, hiding in his room while his father was home, keeping Zander very close when he had to be around him. His father was rude, condescending, and he could see that Cain was anxious and uncomfortable every time they interacted.

He didn’t expect it to be this bad though.

It started out as an argument, though Zander wasn’t even sure what it was about. He had tuned out their conversation as he usually did, the easiest way to keep himself sane. They were in Mr. Whitaker’s office at the time, and he’d gotten caught up in watching the tarantulas in their glass tanks, trying to remember if he knew anything about the spiders.

It was a sound that startled him to attention, and at first he wasn’t quite sure what it was. He looked up from his spot on the floor, closer to the desk than where the two men were. Mr. Whitaker looked furious, a look that was even scaring him, and Cain… he was holding one hand to his face, visibly shaking. Zander quickly realized what had happened, and for a moment he was too shocked to even think straight.

He knew that Mr. Whitaker was a terrible person, he’d known since he’d first met the man, but this was… different. This wasn’t something Zander had experienced or even witnessed before, and as much as he didn’t like Cain, he still didn’t think he deserved that.

“Look at me when I’m fucking talking to you!” He shouted, roughly grabbing Cain by the arm. Zander barely thought before he jumped to his feet, anger causing him to act quicker than his common sense could tell him not to. He had raised his hand as if prepared to hit him again, and Zander was quick to roughly grab his wrist, his grip tight to keep him from further hurting Cain.

“Hey!” He snapped, glaring at the man, “Don’t fucking touch him!” For a moment Mr. Whitaker looked shocked that somebody would *dare* stand up to him, but that quickly turned to anger, and though it terrified Zander he still didn’t back off.

“Cain.” The man said through gritted teeth, “Call your dog off, or you're not going to have one much longer.” Zander didn’t like the implications of his words, but he only spared a brief glance at Cain, who seemed to try and compose himself.

“Zander, back off.” He said, almost sternly, but his voice was shaking, eyes almost pleading with him.

“Why?! So he can just fucking hit you some more?!”

“Zander, now.” He said, more of an order this time. He didn’t understand why, and though it just made him angry, he did let go, turning his glare back to Mr. Whitaker.

“Honestly Cain, you can’t be so useless that it’s that hard for you to control your damn dog!” Mr. Whitaker snapped at him. When Zander looked at him he saw the fear on his face, he saw how it quickly shifted to hurt. He didn’t even know Cain could feel hurt.

“I-I’m sorry, father, I’m going- I’m going to fix it, I’ll make him b-behave.” He stammered, desperately trying to end the conversation.

“You fucking better.” He said sternly. “Otherwise you’re going to end up just like him- another useless dog.”

Zander didn’t know why it set him off so much. It already pissed him off that he had hit Cain, but that threat in particular, threatening his son to put him in the same position that he was in now, something in him completely snapped. He moved without thinking, before he could tell himself it was a bad idea he’d balled up his fist and swung, punching him straight in the jaw.

Mr. Whitaker had stumbled back, Zander figured he hadn’t hit him hard enough, and he reacted quicker than he expected. He tried to move out of the way, thinking he was going to hit him back, but instead he grabbed him by the ear, his fingers catching on one of his hoop earrings.

“Fucking let go of me!” Zander snapped, trying to jerk back before he realized what he was holding onto, and instead of stopping him Mr. Whitaker gave a harsh yank, and suddenly Zander was able to step back without a problem. He felt the stinging from his ear but he assumed that was just from having it pulled on, but first he saw Cain staring at him with wide eyes, then he saw Mr. Whitaker, and the fact he was holding his earring still. He still didn’t quite get it, assuming it had just come off, but when he reached his hand up and touched his ear he quickly realized he was bleeding, jerking his hand away immediately to see blood on his fingers. It still didn’t hurt as much as he thought it should, he was more stunned than anything, which made it easy for Mr. Whitaker to suddenly grab him by the hair, dragging him from the room.

“You dumb fucking mutt,” He snarled, “You need to learn your goddamn place before I put you six feet under.”

“Fuck you! Let go of me!” Zander yelled, though he wasn’t having much luck at getting himself free. He was dragged down the hall, only to be thrown down the stairs, crying out in pain when he hit the bottom. His head had smacked against the hard floor and he swore he blacked out for a moment, dazed and in pain as he sat up. He didn’t get a chance to get away, he was too slow and he ended up being grabbed by the collar, dragged the rest of the way to that awful, sterile room down the hall from his cell. He’d only experienced it once so far, but he had a feeling that it would be a common occurrence. He was left on one side of the room, a short chain clipped to his collar and keeping him on his knees, forced to face the wall he was chained to.

“Raise your hand and hold it against the wall, boy.” He ordered him, but Zander didn’t move, instead he was trying to get himself free from the chain. After grabbing whatever it was he needed Mr. Whitaker stormed back over, he grabbed his wrist and yanked his arm up, forcing him to place the palm of his hand against the wall.

“The fuck are you doing?” Zander tried to see what he was planning, and his eyes went wide at the sight of the hammer he held, which he only saw just as it was brought down hard on the back of his hand.

He howled in pain, loud enough to block out the sickening sound of his bones breaking, his eyes screwed shut as he tried to jerk his hand away, but Mr. Whitaker had an iron grip on his wrist and even the slightest movement caused pain to shoot through his hand; he wasn’t sure he could even move his fingers at this point. He thought that would be the end of it, but he drew back again and once again his hand was hit with the hammer, harder than last time, and he only felt the excruciating pain for a split second before he passed out, the only relief he could possibly get in this situation.

***

He was still in that room when he woke up, but he wasn’t chained up anymore. He was laying flat on his back, staring up at the lights that were far too bright for him right now. He didn’t feel any pain at first, not until he tried to move, even the slightest twitch of his fingers brought all that agony back, it felt like he’d been hit a third time. He hissed in pain, squeezing his eyes shut again.

“Don’t move.” It was Cain, which for once, was of some relief to him. “Your hand is fucked.”

“I can feel that…” He muttered. He could feel blood had dried down the side of his neck, between getting thrown down the stairs and having his hand destroyed, he’d completely forgotten about his ear. He opened his eyes as Cain came over to him, and the first thing he noticed was his busted lip. “Fuck, did he-“

“Don’t.” He said bluntly. He knelt down beside him and helped him sit up, Zander wincing as he did so. Cain had brought a wet rag with him, doing his best to wipe away the blood that had dried on him. “You should consider yourself lucky. He’s done a lot worse to people for a lot less.”

“I don’t feel lucky.” He said, finally daring to look at his hand. He could only look for a second, it looked wrong and he had to look away before he passed out again. “Why are you helping me…?” He asked.

“Why did you punch my father?”

“He deserved it.” He shrugged, whimpering as even that movement hurt his hand more.

“And you deserve this. At least, this once you do.” He said, finally satisfied with having cleaned away most of the blood. “Your hand is going to hurt for a while, he said you aren’t getting it fixed until tomorrow.” Zander wasn’t entirely sure if this could be fixed, but he decided to just hope for the best, not that there was much else he could do.

Cain helped him back to his cell so he could at least be miserable on his bed. He’d never been in this much pain before, it wasn’t the first time he’d broken a bone, but when he broke his arm he’d been immediately rushed to a hospital, both his parents had been there, he wasn’t just left to suffer for hours. He felt sick to his stomach, even more so when he looked at Cain again after being helped to his bed and realized there was more than the split lip, the red marks on his face, around his neck. It made him angry all over again.

“Dude, are you- are you okay…?”

“I said don’t.” Cain snapped at him. “Just- just stop, okay? None of that concerns you, just, stay out of it. Sit down, stay quiet, just… pretend it’s not happening.”

“I can’t do that-“

“Well you’re going to have to.” He said. “It’s better for both of us, okay?” He hadn’t actually seen Cain like this yet, it seemed to come from out of nowhere but it was odd enough to him that he knew he was serious, that for once, he might want to actually listen to him. Well, he didn’t want to, but he might have to.

“Fine…” He muttered, and Cain seemed relieved.

“Thank you.” He sighed. “Try… try to take it easy for the rest of the night, okay? I don’t want your hand to get any worse.”

“Right…” He watched him leave the room, he seemed to hesitate for a moment but he left without another word, the door slamming shut behind him, leaving Zander alone in the dark room. He had no intention of getting up to bother with the light, in fact he tried his best to not move at all, tried to ignore the persistent aching pain that made him sick and brought tears to his eyes. He squeezed his eyes shut and leaned against the wall, taking a shuddering breath and hoping desperately that Cain was serious about him getting treatment.

***

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[sola-whumping]

Umbran: The New Master

CW: pet whump, dehumanization, treating a whumpee as a nonperson, nonhuman whumpee, fae whump, heavily conditioned whumpee, nonsexual nudity (taking care of wounds)

Word count: 3,306

Nox woke slowly, his senses returning one by one. The first thing he was aware of was the soft surrounding him and the gentle hand running through his hair. The second thing he was aware of was the soft feminine humming, it was gentle and soothing like a summer breeze. He listened to the melody for a while, getting lost in the sound. He didn’t want to wake quite yet and fought the awareness that threatened to come for him. There would be pain waiting for him when he woke, he was sure of it. The last thing he was aware of was the tightness of the bandages around his chest and throat and the pain they caused him. He gave a small whine of discomfort. His bandages were not so tight that he couldn’t breathe, but not so loose that they were useless. Eventually, he was dragged to consciousness. 

“Good morning, Umbran, are you awake?” The humming had stopped in favor of speaking. Nox opened his eyes, remembering what had happened the day before. He had been sold again. 

“’M ‘wake.” He felt heavy, as if he’d been drugged. He vaguely remembered being bitten and recalled that this was the vampire, Evangeline. Gabrial had warned him about her. He tried to sit up, only to be eased back onto the bed. 

“You are hurt. You will answer my questions and rest. Once I am satisfied, you may have a bath and a meal.” The way she said it sounded a lot like mercy, though he knew there would be a catch. For the bath he expected ice water and to be held under. That’s what a bath had meant to Gabrial. The meal would surely be laced, if not outright poisoned. He was never fed that easily. Immediately suspicious but unable to do anything about it, he agreed. 

“What are your name and pronouns? I want to make sure I received the right creature.” Nox figured it was likely that she knew umbrans didn’t have any gender binary. Instead, they were physically non-binary, and while some leaned towards male or female (he leaned male), it was much more common that they were androgynous or didn’t fit the human stereotype at all. It was generally polite to ask an Umbrans pronouns or call them ‘they’ or ‘it’ instead of guessing. He also figured that Gabrial had promised her something better than him. 

“N-ox,” he croaked. His throat was dry and burned when he spoke. As soon as he made noise, the vampire lifted him and placed him in a sitting-up position. She put a cup of sweetened water to his lips, gently urging him to drink. 

He was grateful for the water. He hadn’t had any since before he was shipped. She turned cruel as soon as he tried to drink, only giving him a small bit of water at a time and then keeping the rest out of reach. Eventually, slowly, he drank the whole cup. He wanted more water. He was so dehydrated that he felt like he couldn’t get enough. He tried to ask for more, to plead if he had to, but his throat felt like fire, and when he made noise, he coughed weakly. 

His struggles were soon rewarded with another cup, filled with the same sugar water as the last. The only difference was that this one was a bit cooler and he was a bit less desperate. He still swallowed it down as quickly as he was allowed. 

The vampire gently reminded him of the question after the glass was stolen away once more. “Nox, m-ale pronouns,” he rasped. His throat felt a little better. He felt a little better. 

“Are you hungry, Nox?” He faintly realized he was desperate enough to not care if any food given to him was laced. Gabrial, his seller, had only ever fed him after he passed out and woke up again or in the days before shipping. He was more than hungry: he was starved. He gave a weak whine. He knew if she was asking that then she either intended to taunt and starve him or feed him, and he preferred the latter. 

She seemed to take the whine as his response, and in the next moment, there was a spoonful of something that smelled heavenly in his face. It was potato soup. He used to love potato soup. He was grateful to be allowed to eat something warm when he hadn’t done anything to earn it yet.. Something that wasn’t moldy bread was a treat in itself. 

He tried to rush and comply before she had a chance to change her mind about feeding him, trying to make it easier and maybe even feed himself. He failed. He was still heavy and weak and exhausted. All he managed to do was lean forward and open his mouth. His attempt was pathetic. 

“Good boy, that’s it. Easy, darling.”  She praised and cooed at him while he struggled for each bite. When the bowl was almost empty, she helped him drink bit more water before letting him finish the bowl. “Very good!” She ran her fingers through his hair and scratched his scalp. He was too weak to lean into the touch, but he felt a happy warmth in his chest. 

He hadn’t been called “good” or praised often, if at all, with Gabrial. It was no secret that the umbran hated him. He was often used as a plaything to beat around and hurt, rather than treated like the pets that were trained and sold. They got to find a forever home while he was rented for a party or a beating for a night or to someone who wasn’t sure if they wanted a Pet or not. He shivered at the memories and tried to focus on what was happening in the present. 

“Alright, sweetheart, it’s bath time. We need to clean those wounds and get you washed up.” Evangeline spoke to him as if he was a child. “Liam, darling, if you could.”

Suddenly, someone big and tall left the wall where they had been leaning and approached the bed Nox had been laying on. He hadn’t noticed them until they had moved and that worried him, he must be more out of it than he thought. He panicked slightly and keened in distress when he felt an arm slip under his knees and another tighten across his shoulders. He was lifted effortlessly- like he was weightless. Once he was picked up and stabilized, he could identify the figure as a tall human male- at least... he thought it was a male. Humans were supposed to have physical features that showed their preferred gender, but he could never tell. Gender was a human construct anyway. It was much better to learn the person rather than assuming. 

They spoke softly to him and he could feel their deep voice rumbling in their chest. “Hello, little birdy. My name is Liam.” Their arms felt strong around him and Nox almost felt… safe, being carried like this.

Nox gave a shy “Hello.” He liked Liam’s voice. They sounded calming and friendly even though their strength scared him. 

Nox was carried to another room. This one was painted a light blue. There was a big bathtub and shower. It was large enough that his wings wouldn’t be squished- if he still had them. He didn’t get to see the other half of the room until he was undressed and lowered into the already filled tub. There was a white foam on the top of the water that he considered beautiful. The water felt lovely. It was so warm that the heat immediately seeped into his bones. 

When he glanced up, something squeaked in his face, startling him badly and making him chirp in surprise. “Awww, Noxie, it’s just a rubber duck,” his master cooed at him, handing him a bright yellow toy. It was plastic and didn’t look at all like a duck. He squeezed it and startled himself again when it made a squeak sound.. He looked up to see her amused. 

He noticed some of the bubbles had clung to his arm when he moved. Curious, he licked it. It did not taste good at all despite how appealing it looked. His tongue stayed poked out as he recoiled. He heard his master laugh, and suddenly there was a dry towel wiping away the bubbles. 

“There, there, little darling, nothing to be distressed over.” She soothed. “Now we know that we can’t eat bubbles.” She sounded amused so Nox chirped at her, happy to have attention. 

He surveyed the water. If he was held under and waterboarded, it would be better than the cold water, right? Or would the bubbles compensate and make it worse. He couldn’t decide, so he figured he would have to wait and see. 

His master must have seen his expression because she spoke in a calm, soothing voice. “That’s Birdy bubble bath, made specifically not to hurt your feathers.” That hadn’t been what he had been worrying over- in fact, he hadn’t considered that the soap could hurt him at all-- but it was good to know. In response, he carefully lowered himself into the warm water, assuming that’s what she wanted him to do.  

Evangeline shielded his eyes and filled a cup with water before pouring it over him carefully to wet his hair. Then he felt something cold in the center of his hair. When he chirped a question, his master was kind enough to answer. 

“Just some shampoo, darling. I know I’m not supposed to use things like this on your hair, but I have to get the blood out somehow.” Her hands were gentle, not pulling or yanking even a little. He was fully expecting to be forced under, but- it hadn’t happened yet. The anticipation of waiting was almost as bad as the drowning itself. 

“Yes, ma’am.” He stayed still and quiet as the thing in his hair turned into more bubbles. They started white like the ones around him but soon turned a light pink. He was ordered to tip his head back, and upon complying, another cup of water was poured in his hair. 

This is it, this is where I get pushed under. He was in the perfect position; she could hold him under almost effortlessly like this. Not that he would fight at all. He was a good pet, and if she wanted to drown him, he’d stay under just like she wanted. 

“Sit up for me, treasure. I have to use conditioner, and then we will use the scrub brush and dry you up.” She led him up as he followed her guidance. As she had said, she put conditioner in his hair, carding her fingers through it as she went. 

Nox had to fight to stay still and not lean into the slight scratch of his scalp. He did adore being pet- not that he got the chance often. After she carded through his hair a bit, it became silky and smooth, though he knew it would be soft and fluffy once dried. 

She had him lean back again, shushing his little whimper as water got in his ears. He didn’t want to be drowned and this would be her best chance to do it. After this, she wouldn’t have to convince him back down into the water. He held his breath, but she only washed the conditioner gently from his hair. 

When he was let up again, he almost gasped out of shock. “Good job, little Birdy, you did very well for me. Now, I need you to stay still so I can clean your wounds. We don’t want them getting infected, now do we?” She hummed. 

Nox flinched. Cleaning wounds usually meant alcohol and painful healing and bandages wrapped so tight he couldn’t breathe. Getting an infection was usually kinder than the prevention methods. 

He flinched again when something gentle touched his back. His master placed a hand on his chest to stop him from moving away as she gently washed away the blood, cooing and soothing his whimpers when he started to get nervous. 

He was waiting for it to hurt, waiting for the salt and vinegar and alcohol to be poured. He wasn’t used to the gentle cloth wiping away his blood- not when he was still scared that the gentle touch would turn rough and rub his back raw. 

Nox took a breath to steady himself. Fear wouldn’t change the outcome. Whatever his master wanted to happen would happen and nothing he can do would change that. He took comfort in the helplessness. Nothing he could do would change anything, He repeated the words to himself, taking another deep breath and letting himself relax. Whatever will happen will happen. He focused on the hand on his chest and the cloth on his back, slowly cleaning the blood away. He took comfort in the helplessness. 

The water was a light pink now and some of his wounds had started bleeding again. His master pressed a cloth against the freshly reopened wounds to stem the bleeding and held it there until it had mostly stopped. 

When all the blood was gone, he was washed with something that smelled sweet and then taken out of the tub, only to be swiftly wrapped up in a warm towel. It was a dark color so the blood didn’t stain and could be washed out later. The towel was also strangely warm. His master had placed it on an odd sideways stand that radiated heat while he had been in the bath, presumably for that purpose. Regardless, he was grateful..

Nox was dried up and his hair was brushed before he even knew what was happening. He was a bit shocked going from the warm water to the cold air so quickly. He started to tremble from the cold. “Shh, we’ll get you warmed up, just hold on,” his master cooed, connecting an odd-looking piece of plastic to the wall. 

She turned it on, causing warm air to blow from it as if it was magic, creating wind effortlessly. He flinched when the warm air was suddenly on his face, then in his hair, then on the feathers trailing down the back of his neck. The magic wind felt lovely. It was nice and warm, chasing away the cold. After a few minutes he stopped trembling, his hair no longer wet. 

His master brushed it out and ran a hand through the now fluffy black mixed with brown. Now that he was clean, they could see the colors in his hair blended and mixed, like a molted feather pattern rather than anything human. His master hummed at him, thinking he looked adorable with his head tilted curiously at the blow dryer. 

“Can you walk, or should Liam carry you again?” She asked as she gently coaxed him into putting on a fluffy hoodie and some sweatpants. She would worry about decorum later, right now, her pet was in need of comfort. She had some rather strong words for his seller. She had ordered a pet, not a slave, and had expected him to have been treated with kindness rather than shoved in a box and strangled. She shook her head. It was practically animal cruelty, and the creature was so sweet that she didn’t think he could have done anything to deserve it. 

Nox had gone from gazing at the magic wind creator to backing in the warm blanket and the feeling of being clean, only to be snapped out of it with the question. “I-I can try, master.” He sounded terrified, but he did his best to suppress it. He hadn’t been hurt yet, and he didn’t think he’d be cleaned and dressed only to get all bloody again. Surely they wanted him for something else first- at least, he hoped. He tried not to be scared; vampires could smell fear, and being scared always made hurt time worse. They liked when he was afraid. Sometimes Gabrial said that the only good things about him were his pretty tears and his pleading. 

She almost cooed at him, the poor dear was so skittish. He sounded terrified of picking wrong. “That’s alright, darling, you just focus on resting. I’ll give you your rules tomorrow and I’ll write an email to that trainer of yours. They’ve been far too cruel to you.” 

Nox immediately tensed up when he heard email. That meant he was getting sent back. He didn’t even hear the rest of the sentence, too caught up in what he did wrong to warrant being sent back. Why would they clean him if they didn’t want him? Unless- unless he had answered wrong. Maybe they wanted him to be cute and helpless and need help with walking. Surely he was hurt before arriving for a reason. “I- I meant only if I was allowed, master- I didn’t want to assume- I’ve been so arrogant-“ he kept cutting himself off, too anxious to finish his sentence. “I’m s-sorry, plea-please don’t send me back” he pleaded. If nothing else, he begged well and cried beautifully for his masters. He hoped desperately that somehow he would be allowed to stay. He felt hot tears slip down his cheeks, sparkling with pastel colors. He truly was a pretty crier. 

The shine of light caught Evangeline’s eye. “Oh, sweetheart, what happened? What’s wrong, darling?” She tipped his head up by his chin and wiped away his tears, hushing the distressed umbran. “What’s got you so upset?” 

“You- you’re going to send me back,” he cried, distressed. He had been told if he was sent back before the first week, he’d be whipped again- it hadn’t even been a day. He couldn’t take it again so soon. He wouldn’t be able to stand it and the pain was unbearable. He was terrified of what would happen, less scared of Gabrial but rather the consequences that came with it. 

Evangeline was startled by his terror. “Oh darling, sweet treasure, you’re not being sent back, love.” She took his face in her hands and wiped away his tears. “Now that you’re mine, I wouldn’t let you go so easily.” It sounded like a comfort, but it wasn’t worded like one. Nox didn’t know how to feel until he felt a hand making its way  through his soft hair. Slowly, he let himself calm down. 

“Maybe a choice this soon is too much for you. Would you like me to pick for you?” She sounded like she was talking to an upset three year old- and Nox responded like one, nodding slightly and giving a small “mhm” as he was pet. 

“That’s alright, darling.” She cooed, turning to Liam. “Could you carry him? The poor thing is distressed.” Liam obeyed, moving to pick Nox up effortlessly. 

He carried Nox to his room. Liam set Nox down on his side in a little nest made of blankets rather than on his back. Then he stepped back so Evangeline could see Nox. she sat in a chair by his bed and spoke softly to calm him.

“It’s alright, sweetheart, you’re safe. No one will hurt you here. I’m sure you’re very tired, so I’ll make this quick, alright, darling?” She grabbed a great big blanket and draped it over him. 

Nox had started to relax with the soft voice. He felt safer under the blanket. It was cozy and warm and made him feel secure. When he looked up at his new master, he was greeted with a kind smile and a kiss on the forehead. She trailed a hand gently down his face so he would close his eyes. 

“Night night, Noxie.” And just like that, he was out.

✨Masterlist✨

Taglist: @haro-whumps @poisoned-by-royalty @sunset-avenuer @wide-awake-but-comatose @whumpsy-daisies @misspelledwitch @string-of-broken-hearts @captainseconds @lave-whump @whumping-out-of-time

[lexpressobean]

Headcanon: The Aburame Clan is Actually just as Bad as The Hyuuga Clan, but Aburame Branches act like Special Tributaries, not Condemmed Slaves

I just love the Aburame clan peeps okay? I love Shino, and Shibi, and Torune, and Muta, and Bug Ninjas are just so up my fucking alley, y'all don't even know. But as I expand my version of Aburame Clan Lore for my own enjoyment, I had a thought. Am I fully invested in this headcanon? Naw, I just thought it might be an interesting take but it's also partially fanfic too. I decided to share it anyways because why not?

Edit: oops I thought I had added a read more line.

••

Despite the obvious consanguinous marriage going on in the NartVerse, Shibi married Kiyo Hibiki (oc #1), a strong and accomplished kunoichi in her own right, but essentially a "village girl" with no historical prestige about her name. This was a rare instance of a complete outsider marrying into the clan, and even rarer, it was out of love. Because of this, Shibi refused to marry his predetermined fiance, which was his 4th cousin (oc #2) named Sarin. Sarin was the older sister of Yasushi (oc #3), who was also the last Formal Master of Kochu and Yoji Aburame's mother.

The main purpose of the coupling was simply a pattern that had developed over the clan's history to keep up the Main Familial line's pedigree in check and favorable. Unlike Dojutsu wielding clans, where Potency of the single Dojutsu is coveted, The Aburame clan has multiple branch families that specialize in certain traits and characteristics that are helpful to an Insect Weilding Shinobi, and many families specialize in specific Insect Usage for generations indefinitely. The Aburame clan is actually HUGE as a result. However, Kikaichu are the most coveted as they live off of and manipulate Chakra. Kikaichu Tolerance is a must for Clanhead Descendants.

Example: Lady Kakine (Shino's Pat. Grandmother/oc #4) was the daughter of the Aburame Clanhead and a Rinkaichu Master of that generation. Lady Kakine had a younger brother named Kachio (oc #5) who became the father of Shikuro Aburame.

Shibi and Shikuro were first cousins, and Shibi has evey ability to tolerate Rinkaichu as well. But like Kakine herself, who was the first "renewal" of that specific trait in a while, he was dismissed from Rinkaichu and was made to focus on Mastery of Kikaichu, the bread and butter of the clan.

The only exceptions to the rule made were if a coupling helped bring prestige to the clan, as with Lady Kakine and Lord Taibi Aburame (oc #6) a non-hive individual (*bad trait*), yet a member who built rapport with the Third Hokage as an accomplished ANBU operative with a special Hanekakushi Summoning (*compensation and benefit* **These were the leaders first bestowed Noble Status too, after defeating the Kamizuru Clan in defense of Konoha**)

***This is why Shibi was the one who took Torune in after Shikuro died. I REFUSE to believe Torune was left a touch starved orphan, LET SHIBI HUG TORUNE***

Because Shibi broke family tradition (not that Sarin minded, she and Shikuro HAD been a thing and also maybe most definitely encouraged Shibi to follow his heart because they were happy for him???) Shino was born with a muddled pedigree that definitely ruined a good amount of the Main Familial Line's poison resistance for one thing (Rinkaichu venom included). However, Kikaichu Tolerance IS what makes the Aburame clan, and has been so heavily emphasized that Shino showed no immediate or latent signs of intolerance. Shino also sparred heavily with other members as a child to test such things, especially with a non-hive member named Chiaki (oc #7), 3 years his senior and a Yellow Hornet/Apoidea specialist. Shino got stung a LOT. But at least he was able to tough it out lmao. That's all the clan elders cared about. Chiaki hated causing Shino pain, but also didn't want to lose more of his own insects to those monstrous Kikaichu than he had too.

Shino is currently recognized as Shibi's heir, but Shino had to WORK SO DAMN HARD to earn that fucking recognition. This is partially why Shino was so... asocial even as a young child, and so full of self doubt and anxiety when it came to simply being able to be CONFIDENT in himself and his abilities. He wasn't hated by his own clan, but older clan members were NOT the most approving of him. But they better have kept their opinions to themselves, because Shibi was an absolute horror to deal with when provoked. Younger clan members absolutely LOVE/D Kiyo and by association, couldn't bring themselves to ever see Shino in a negative light. So his mom was a commoner, what of it!?

Traditionally, Aburame couples with Specializations will have two children when that specific trait/characteristic is chosen to be the next add-on to the Main Familial Line. One child would be offered as a tribute and the other would continue that specific family's legacy. And as it was a pattern among many known and unknown traits of the Aburame clan, members could usually predict when a specific trait/characteristic would be in demand. It is considered an honor to be a Tribute, yet it is also an extremely tense time for the family of the tribute to the say the very least. Not to mention dehumanizing. But that's what makes Shino so special, he was made out of Love <3.

Bonus Headcanons for sticking around this long lol:

•Shibi passed Fire Release to Shino while Kiyo, passed Earth Release to Shino

•Shibi has deep viridian green eyes, Kiyo has bright golden brown eyes, so Shino has shimmering hazel green eyes, or the more flowery version, Shino has Central Heterochromia with outer green and inner brown and brown specks too!

•Shino is quite a literal mix of his parents in general <3

•Shino has a predetermined fiance of his own, but is TRYING to put that shit off for as long as possible. His fiance, Moya (oc #8) highly respects Shino but is in mutual agreement. Her trait is Venom resistance via Exposure, and as an adult works specifically as Konoha Hospital's Resident Toxicologist under Eirou Nara (oc #9), a lead Pharmacist within the Hospital. Shino and Moya have a good, but awkward relationship. If Torune were still alive, he'd ABSOLUTELY tease Shino AND Moya about it.

• I just like creating drama, man, it's kinda fun in it's own way.

So yeah, food for thought. Because as fun as it is play around with Kekkei Genkai in theory, all and all, being part of a clan must totally suck.

[stillness-in-green]

Thoughts on Chapter 314 (and surrounding events)

Being a loose summary of several things I thought about in relation to the leaks, what they say about the series as a whole, a bit of new operating headcanon on the Peerless Thief, and a dash of how fandom is responding to the revelations. Spoilers, obviously.

This chapter makes it quite clear that the HPSC absolutely would have gone in and eliminated the PLF quietly, lethally, and wholly unlawfully if Hawks hadn't reported back the numbers that he did. The only reason the raid involved non-Commission-affiliated heroes at all is because the PLF's manpower was simply too much for the Commission to deal with via their usual methods. I'm both appalled that the disregard for human rights in HeroAca Land is somehow even worse than I thought it was and smug that that tiny little piece I recently posted criticizing the PLF's treatment has turned out to be totally justified and supported by the canon.[1] (Note that this does not absolve Horikoshi of the responsibility to, himself, treat the PLF better than paper dolls tossed into the incinerator of Plot Irrelevance when they cease being convenient to his story.) The fact that the Commission was forced to involve heroes might mean Re-Destro, Mr. Compress and the others are somewhat safer than might otherwise be the case. Because of the involvement of the unsuspecting stooges law-abiding heroes, and because the botched raid became such a huge disaster, there’s far more public scrutiny on this than would otherwise be the case. Of course, "accidents" can still happen,[2] especially in a chaotic environment, but the factors above (combined with Clone!RD murdering the bejeezus out of the Lady Prez) do, I think, suggest that there probably isn't an organized push for quick solutions going on behind closed doors.

I don't think Nagant has been around for a terribly long time or that there was an uptick in vigilantism in recent years—I think the scene where she mentions vigilantes becoming accepted as heroes is just in reference to the early history of heroism. It's in keeping with what Tsukauchi Makoto described in Vigilantes, and forms the basis of the current system—the current system that Nagant was a single cog in a big machine grinding away to preserve.

Speaking of Nagant and the system, it's interesting to me that one of the groups Nagant apparently targeted at the HPSC's behest was corrupt heroes—those who colluded with villains or specifically goaded/incited civilians into using their quirks illegally, thus turning civilians into capital-V Villains in the eyes of the law. One might easily say that targeting corrupt heroes (albeit using a much broader definition of "corrupt") was Stain's whole shtick, but it actually puts me more in mind of the Peerless Thief, Harima Oji. Harima punished greedy or corrupt heroes with theft, and presumably with a measure of declaration and exposure,[3] then distributed their money back to the streets. Someone who ridicules those who abuse their power, and gets away with it for long enough to build a reputation: that right there is a recipe for a folk hero. The HPSC, in whatever form they existed at the time, obviously couldn't let that go on—such repeated humiliations would weaken peoples’ faith in (and obedience to) the system the HPSC was trying to build. At the same time, though, it would also weaken faith in the system to openly acknowledge that system's flaws, to acknowledge that some pretty awful people had found their way into the heroics business specifically for the power and ability to abuse it that the title of Hero afforded them. Public trials would make it a matter of record that some heroes—and, accordingly, heroes at large—did not deserve the public's unquestioning faith. Obviously in a system that was built from the ground up on faith, that was unacceptable. And so Harima was branded a supervillain for exposing the system's flaws, while the corrupt heroes who embodied those flaws to begin with were—and continue to be—quietly disposed of at the HPSC’s discretion.

There's a lot of talk around about how Lady Nagant is stupid, or hypocritical, or delusional, or whatever other dismissive adjective people want to use, because she expresses a preference for AFO's rule over the HPSC's. Firstly, I think it's dubious Lit Crit to fault a character for not being a Paragon of Rationality, especially when they're under the cascading stressors Nagant has been under since she was, what, 13? 14? Forced to live this dichotomy of smiling gallant hero and ruthless covert assassin, had her life threatened by the man who'd taken her in,[4] probably dumped in Tartarus until such time as her trial could be held,[5] and kept in those ghastly, dehumanizing conditions for who knows how long? How shocking, that her objectivity might be somewhat compromised! Secondly, it's not like she's saying that AFO's rule would be a sunny walk in the park. The kanji she uses doesn't even mean "better"; while it can mean serene or tranquil, her more likely meaning is clear/transparent. Her phrasing indicates that she's aware it would be pretty bad; she's simply of the opinion that at least his rule wouldn't be a sham, a pretty lie. It would be bad, but everyone would know it. No one would have these comforting illusions they could lose at any time; if you stepped out of line and got shot in the head by an assassin, well, at least you would probably know you that being defiant was running that risk, rather than never seeing it coming because you'd been told all your life that Heroes Didn't Do That To People. Again, this is a woman whose life was shattered no less than three times by the duplicity of the highest acting authority in this comic.[6] She doesn't have to be Objectively Correct By The Standards Of Ethical Utilitarianism—nor do you have to agree with her choice that because she doesn’t want to live in the Matrix, no one else should get to either—for her opinion to make sense from her own perspective! Thirdly, while I think it's fair to say that the HPSC and AFO actually use fairly similar methods to recruit followers and punish dissenters, we have no idea how much Nagant herself knows about AFO's recruitment tactics other than her own brief experience of it. And while AFO is a controlling and manipulative bastard, at least in his case it's coming from a man who openly styles himself as a Demon King, not an organization positioning itself as lawful regulators of the protectors of society at large while secretly training child soldiers to flagrantly violate every law protecting the human rights and due process of that society's people.

Overhaul's presence is delightful, and yes, he is a victim of Hero Society, if only because Hero Society could have put him in some kind of prison-based rehab facility after Shigaraki was through with him, but chose to dispose of him in Tartarus instead, for absolutely no justifiable cause. I suspect it's only due to Horikoshi not being very interested in the harsh realities of the trauma caused by enforced isolation[7] that Overhaul is the only Tartarus escapee that talks to himself and has dissociated from reality almost completely. Overhaul's maiming was not the fault of Hero Society, nor did Hero Society force him to torture Eri and repeatedly commit cold-blooded murder. But his madness? Yeah, I'm pretty comfortable laying that one at Hero Society's feet, actually. I can’t wait for Deku to have to face the victim that Chisaki Kai has become due to levels of systemic cruelty and negligence that really ought to be criminal—and which, if this were real life, would be.

--------Lately, footnotes are really popular with us!--------

[1] Lady Nagant: *talks about how the Hero Society everyone believes in is illusory, a thin fake over a brutal reality, and that returning to the false simplicity of that status quo will only cause history to repeat itself* Me, two weeks ago: Hero Society will never stop creating its own villains so long as, every time it fails people, it does nothing but shrug and write off the victims as unavoidable, inevitable sacrifices for the greater good.

[2] Yes, I'm still highly suspicious of the "Destro committed suicide in prison" claim.

[3] Compress tells us Harima “preached reformation,” but regardless, you don’t dress up in a modified kabuki costume and waltz midair through nighttime cityscapes raining cash out of the sky if you’re trying to keep your activities a secret.

[4] And her family situation couldn't have been much better than Hawks', if she was targeted by the HPSC to begin with. I would guess she was an orphan in the childcare system, easy to move from whatever alternative care arrangement she was in, be it an orphanage, a group home, or simply mature enough despite her relative youth that she lived alone on government support payments—that kind of thing isn't as unbelievable in Japan as it is in the U.S.—to the HPSC's care.

[5] And given what we learned between this chapter and 297, I doubt she was even allowed to be present for it. Japanese law states that everyone by default is supposed to be present for their own trial, but as in the U.S, that right can be waived if the defendant proves themselves to be a threat to the safety of the judge, court staff and other attendees. And of course, what a threat the HPSC could have painted her as being!

[6] At least until Hori deigns to show us a damn Diet session.

[7] To say nothing of the physical consequences of spending six months stuck in a tiny room with no natural light while frequently being strapped into a straitjacket, of which there should also be several.

[nyerus]

hii what are ur thoughts about having friends like FengQing? i will totally dislike them for leaving my side w/o any good reason if they were my friends. AND idk if i will forgive them if they show up years ltr (uk what i mean?) like where were u when i needed u both? why show up only now? yes ik.. youre both busy with all the duties and all... but im? here? alone? for the past few years:( and yes ik maybe youre guilty but isnt it a little too late? i feel so bad for xielian tbvh

Hiya Anon!

To be honest, I agree. That's a lot of baggage and a lot of pain there. But ultimately, I think the XianLe Trio's dynamic is rather complicated as a result of their extreme circumstance. In our world, we will likely never experience such extreme situations so it's hard to say precisely, but bottom line: if my friends left me out to dry in my time of need, I would so not be as forgiving as Xie Lian at all LOL. Especially since Xie Lian suffered so much--of which, the two of them will never know the true extent. ;;;;; It really does hurt....

On that note, Hua Cheng being very antagonistic (especially towards Mu Qing) is completely understandable. He truly sees what they did as a straight-up betrayal; that Feng Xin and Mu Qing are nothing more than fairweather friends.

But in truth I think the two of them truly did care and wanted what was best for Xie Lian, but it turned out extremely Bad for a variety of reasons. Mu Qing almost certainly wanted to ascend in order to take Xie Lian and Feng Xin to middle heaven and keep them comfortable and safe (though he didn't not COMMUNICATE that whatsoever). Doesn't really forgive him betraying Xie Lian on the mountain, but he's a means-justify-the-ends type of man who figured Xie Lian's short-term emotional distress was worth his long-term well-being. Incorrect assumption there.... RIP. But empathy is not Mu Qing’s strong point.

Meanwhile, Feng Xin also was driven away by Xie Lian--but given how Xie Lian VERY CLEARLY suffered intense and unknown trauma, it's sad that Feng Xin didn't notice that it was an intense cry for help. But in his defense, he took care of Xie Lian's parents for that whole time and was utterly baffled by it all. (And poor Xie Lian was trying to protect himself from more trauma and rationalized "if I push him away first, it won't hurt when he eventually leaves me too" -- but it hurt him all the same.)

Additionally, I think it's also important to note that there is actually a 4/5-year gap between the end of book 2 and the beginning of book 4. (We know this because Hua Cheng was 14 when he made the promise on Mt. Taicang to never forget Xie Lian--right before Xie Lian was banished. And then Hua Cheng died when he was 18-19.) So Feng Xin and Mu Qing stayed with him for a while; they didn't up and leave immediately, so that’s there.

Ultimately it comes down to two things: 1) Feng Xin and Mu Qing both put Xie Lian on a pedestal. Different pedestals, but dehumanizing all the same. So when Xie Lian showed vulnerability, weakness, and other extremely human sides of himself, neither of them were able to process it well. This, coupled with their situation itself, caused their bonds to basically shatter under pressure. 2) To be fair to both of them, everyone has their limits. Sometimes, you do have to take care of yourself especially when things seem hopeless, so their respective reasons for leaving were not totally invalid. As shitty as it is. :/

Also, I think Feng Xin and Mu Qing probably searched for him--especially indicated by how the two of them immediately go down to help Xie Lian when he resurfaces (and yes, that's also due to their down guilt too lol!!). But since Xie Lian was very intentional about staying off the radar, it's understandable that neither of them were able to find or help him. After all, we know that Hua Cheng searched for him and was unable to find him as well--even though he got close. And Hua Cheng has perfect luck, and STILL couldn't find our boy lksdjflksdjfls. Truly unfortunate Lianlian.

And given that 800 years passed, I think Xie Lian eventually figured "there isn't any point in staying upset over the past." I'm glad they made up in the end, though also think they've got some stuff to work out as well lol.

Thank you for this ask!~ (´• ω •`)♡