#catkua

[noctilia]

[project-catgirlpillar]

It's a Classic Story. Girl meets Girl. Girl tries to have Girl murdered. Girl threatens to murder all of Girls Friends and Family. Girl threatens retaliation If her Friends and Family are murdered. Girls Scheme at each other. Girl murders 100.000 innocent civilians. Girl Rips Out Girls Heart for murdering 100.000 thousand innocent civilians. Girl binds Girls Soul to Her cloak and forces her to Work as an adviser as punishment for murdering 100.000 innocent people. Girl wriggles her way into having a little Bit more autonomy in her role as Girls cloak Slave Ghost. Girls Go into the dark to try and enslave an entire Race together. Girl has her Soul Cut Up by evil gods. Girl argues in defence of Girl to the evil gods even though there's nothing in it for her. Girl decides the best way to punish Girl is to redeem her and make her face the consequences of her actions. Girls become Friends. Girls Fall in Love. Girl rejects Girl because she murdered 100.000 innocent people. Girl Runs Back to her evil Empire. Girl realizes she's unhappy in her evil Empire and helps Bring it down. Girl rejoins Girl. Girl accepts being eternally bound to Higher being as a way to Trap her. Girls kiss. Girl Kills herself as Part of Binding. Girl comes Back every couple decades to hang out with Girl and presumably fuck. Tale as old as time really

[kvothbloodless]

Yknow its Extremely sad that the objectively best redemption arc and enemies to lovers arc ever written will always be obscure because it takes place over a 3.5 million word web serial.

[alicelufenia]

Untraveled Road

A Practical Guide To Evil fanfic I just had to share, in which Catherine and Akua are sent back in time to when it all began. Now what, losers?

It's only 4 chapters in but already it has me HOOKED. Plus I happened upon it just when I'm at this exact point in my re-read. The author almost perfectly emulates the charm of EE's writing, everyone acts and sounds exactly how they should, both in the time they're in and from where in the story they came.

Note: Big Spoiler Notice, basically picks up from the absolute end of the story, just finish reading the Guide before touching this one.

But if you have, and you like these two as much as I do - OH BOY I think you're in for a treat.

[captorations]

once again thinking about how batshit insane catherine and akua's situationship is. like. catherine looked at this girl who killed a hundred thousand innocents under catherine's protection, and said "no, death isn't nearly enough. instead, i will use you, and befriend you, and turn you into the kind of person who understands the indelible nature of the sin she has committed, who regrets, who truly feels the pain of her actions... and then i will kill you, slowly and painfully."

except. catherine wasn't just punishing akua, she was punishing herself. because she failed those people, and sees akua- at this point- as a mere force of nature, a vessel for a higher power, rather than a person making her own decisions. catherine blames herself for failing to understand and stop akua. catherine also recognizes akua's potential to be important to her, and the wonderful person she could become if she breaks away from the culture which raised her to be unflinchingly vicious. so catherine committed herself to the murder of not only a person she would grow to love, but one who had the potential to do so much good. a person who would end up better than catherine herself.

and catherine knows how stories work. she understands the narrative forces driving their reality; they are her greatest enemy and her most powerful weapon. catherine knew she would try to back out, and be forced to follow through anyway. and she did. and she was.

what the fuck

[kvothbloodless]

For a ship defined in part by the complete lack of gay sex, they sure did have "a lot" of gay sex

a collection

[lukore]

man. catkua real

[typellblog]

Finishing pgte again on Valentine's Day felt a bit like fate so here's some of my favourite Catkua moments

Toxic doomed yuri of all time

[daughterofwoe]

Catkua in a nutshell

[indigocotton]

latest Guide chapter is exactly what we’ve been waiting for for *counts on fingers* *gives up* at least 250 chapters

pls EE stop killing me like this

“You do not love me, Catherine,” she said.

[kvothbloodless]

Nobody asked but im doing Catkua anyways

[captorations]

on a grander scale, it's absolutely insane that catherine and akua only get to be together when calamity strikes, because akua IS calamity. every chance they have to meet is paid for in the blood of innocents. that has me chewing drywall, sure enough.

but also consider the little things. every time catherine has any tiny stroke of bad luck she gets to blame akua. and akua might even be actually responsible. and that's so fucking funny. when you're in love with the herald of misfortune what is every stubbed toe or lost coinflip but flirtation

[resplendent-chungus]

Aaaand the results are in: how many of you got it right, and what the fuck are any of these options about? Well, to explain:

You can argue some over who's the greater scope villain, between Neshamah/The Dead King or Yara of nowhere/The Wandering Bard, but given that Yara's there since book 2, and the last Catherine-centered chapter is them finally dealing with her, I'd say she's the main big bad. I love you, you immortal/genocidal bard...

Akua, who Catherine ends up falling in love with by the end of the story, starts the story off as Catherine's evil nemesis; she proves this definitively in book 3 when she poisons a major city's water supply and turns them into her undead army the hard way. Catkua's such a fun ship.

Laurence Du Manfort, aka the Saint of Swords, is iirc somewhere in her eighties when the 11th Crusade drags her into the story. Technically, you could say she dies because Catherine uses a curse she's been building up for months, but that curse is "woe, decade of age be upon thee" and I don't think there's anything not old-age-related that could be trusted to put her down. Granny kicks ass!

Masego, Cat's best buddy and one of the strongest mages on the continent, comes up with a spell that smites shit without involvement from angels, who are normally, y'know, required for the whole process. The Choir of Mercy thinks it's real neat, and actually encourages the whole endeavour, though we don't hear from any other Choirs.

The Drake, an antagonist in book 6, has a variety of tools to help him survive just about anything. Once regeneration isn't enough, is final trick is to pull out one of his teeth and throw it, possessing whichever poor fool touches it.

Early on, historical Dread Emperors of Praes are discussed; one of them, Emperor Traitorous, successfully overthrew himself several times, and famously managed to betray a guy named The Betrayer.

Midway through book 7, the heros can't work together, so Catherine forces them to get on the same page before the Big Final Battle by trying to eat the Book of Some Things, which contains all the heroic narratives that help them triumph and also is a literal physical book that she is trying to eat.

Hakram, Catherine's ironic right hand man, gets an arm chopped off in book 2. No worries, the Warlock gives him a cool skeleton hand to replace it! Then in book 4 he chops the other one off to prove he's not going to kill Vivienne (it's complicated) and eventually just kinda. Wills a spirit hand into replacing it. Then in book 6 he gets fucked up by a demon and has one (or both) of those cool replacement arms chopped off, and this time only has a regular prosthetic.

And, by process of elimination, the false statement is...

Indrani is NOT a flat earther! As @lilietsblog pointed out, she only pretends to be a flat earther because it annoys Masego and she is nothing if not committed to the bit. A solid 13% of respondents got this right, which I'm not sure if I should take as a victory or a defeat.

This was very fun, and many thanks to all the people who voted and reblogged it.

[clarissaexplainingitall]

Still don't like catkua cuz she's (akua) mean :( and evil :(

The ship is interesting from a character perspective but when it comes down to it my monkey brain just doesn't want akua to be happy

It has been a minute since I read the later bits of the story, though. Maybe she stops larping as triumphant when she gets to be a ghost and I'm fixating too hard on the whole liesse literal diabolical plot

They're all mean and evil homie lmao

But to be fair, that's completely valid (Liesse was fucking incredible levels of "how low can you go" and Akua is almost certainly irredeemable unless she pulls some serious balancing on the cosmic scales so I completely get it), and you do you, but monkey brain sees Akua being absolutely fucking unhinged and is like "evil lady hot."

(Part of this is, again, because everyone in the story is pretty nasty in what they enable, do, and excuse. Akua, I think, scares me less than Masego - but I also like Masego a lot! She's just brilliantly intelligent and uses that to commit every crime she think will help her advance her own goals, and I so rarely get to see just a vile woman who starts to grow).

To be fair though, I feel like Cat would find new and advanced ways to make Akua miserable given any opportunity. So I can't see a way in which them starting something would necessary make either "happy," per se - it's more like a "you're the only one who gets me on this level" sort of deal.

(And yeah, it was like. It got to be far more fascinating for me on the character foil front once I got to ghost!Akua.)

[lilietsblog]

Seeing you add commentary on obstacles for a slow burn romance, I was shocked that none of your examples read as "literally just Catkua"

oh Catkua was the original inspiration for writing that post and it was in my head non-stop

but it just didn't quite fit you know? just, "one of them fucking hates the other for fully deserved reasons" was just a bit off topic

although come to think of it i should have totally written "one or both are consumed with guilt and punishing themselves by refusing to engage in romance" ah well lost opportunities it was the middle of the night you know?

[lilietsblog]

#ship dynamics#Not actually Catkua but if you squint…

catkua reached the point where akua was actually the more moral of the two and i think we need to talk about this more

“I’d kill for you. Please ask me to kill for you.” “No.” Is a top tier ship dynamic no I do not take criticism