#it finally broke the art block curse

[noctilia]

[touchme-teezme]

hi mimi! idk if u take requests but last pick was everything to me like i lovedddd the book that inspired you 😭🥹 can i PLEASE get a san version with the “did you want to watch me burn” poem? just destroy me. my heart is yourssss

This Time.

PAIRING | collegeboy!san x fab!reader

TAGS | arguments, smut with a plot, kissing, oral, angsty unprotected breakup sex, san has great pull out game, and a (sort of?) cliffhanger… again? idk i suck at writing tags and proper endings lolololol

RATINGS | NSFW 18+ (minors pls DNI/if it makes u uncomfortable don’t read it)

SONGS | No One Noticed - The Marías, Not You Too- Dr*ke & Been Like This - Doja Cat

SUMMARY | The breakup for this couple was on the horizon. One of them was in denial, and it’s not you.

AUTHOR’S NOTE ▸ thank you all for showing Last Pick a lot of love & anon for enjoying it. since a san version was requested, here ya go :) lmk which member should be next if you'd want me to actually make this into an angsty atz smut series. kinda like the idea they’re all connected?¿ like a smutiverse… im a little tipsy rn writing this part. also if u catch mistakes, no u didn’t. kk bye love uou

inspired by a quote from Save Me An Orange by Hayley Grace: what more did you want from me? i gave you my heart my soul my body i let you build a home inside of me but you still went to the store and bought a lighter just to set me on fire did you want to watch me burn?

You’re usually an optimist but it wasn’t until San smashed the vase you bought and painted together at that one arts and crafts store that you realized optimism could only take you so far.

A screaming match broke out immediately. Words bounced off the walls, echoing in your small apartment as fingers were being pointed. He followed you around the entire house as you tried to walk away from the conversation, pinging in your ear like a fly.

San gets emotional when he cares. It was the first thing you liked about him when you first started to talk. How nice would it be to be with someone so well in-tune with their emotions that they don’t why away from it?

If only you’d known it would result in this.

The relationship was done for. It had been for a while. He had been far too busy juggling classes, work, and his new friends who seemed to suddenly fill all the time he used to spend with you. You’d barely even seen him in weeks, and when you did, it was like you were fighting for scraps of his attention.

San’s voice cracked as he shouted behind your head. “You think I don’t know I’ve been busy? I’ve been juggling everything, trying to keep it all together, and you—you—think I don’t feel guilty? You want me to just drop everything? Stop hanging out with my friends? Quit school? What do you want from me?”

He was following you now, not letting you get a moment of peace. You forced yourself to focus on the task of cleaning up the shards, trying to block out his words as you looked for the broom around your house.

“Do you think I want this? You think I want to feel like this? You think I want to hurt you? But you keep demanding more from me, and I can’t do it anymore! I can’t just stop living my life to fix yours!”

“Oh fuck off!” You barked back, finally finding the broom that was in an odd spot in your wardrobe (probably because San had placed it there the last time he used it). You were now growing more annoyed.

“Don’t curse at me! Listen to me for goodness sake!”

Your hands trembled around the broom handle, but you marched towards the vase shards and started sweeping, trying not to hear the poison dripping from his mouth. You had given up on fighting—there was no point anymore. He was too far gone, wrapped up in his own world that was so difficult for him to show up.

“You’re too much, alright?” he spat, his voice cracking with frustration. “I can’t breathe, I can’t think. Every time I try to focus on something else, you’re right there, needing something from me. I can’t fix this. I can’t keep being suffocated—“

You dropped the broom.

You turned slowly, meeting his gaze for the first time, and in that moment, you never felt like this about him before.

“Do you hear yourself?” Your voice was shaking, but it was steady, sharp. “In that whole rant you just forced me to hear, not once did you mention us—not once did you mention me like i’m not in this fucking relationship with you! Not once did you mention all i’ve done for you, and the only time you did was to insult me!”

San opened his mouth, but nothing came out. He just stood there, eyes wide, lips trembling.

You stepped forward as if to challenge his speechlessness, your heart pounding in your chest. “What the fuck are you still doing here then?!”

The room fell silent.

And then, out of nowhere, he tried to reach for you.

It was a movement fuelled by panic if he was truly honest, it was a final desperate attempt to fix things without actually knowing how.

He just knew that he had to have you in his arms and you’d melt. His hand caught yours, pulling you closer, but you yanked it away.

He stepped closer, his breath ragged, reaching for you again with a look in his eyes that was pure guilt you knew all too well.

Your stern face broke when he managed to get you in his large strong arms that wrapped around you.

You stood there, shaking, breathing hard, barely able to hold back the tears.

“Why do you keep doing this to me?” Your cracking voice was muffled against his hard chest.

And then, in his painful silence, he cupped your face and pressed his lips against yours.

You did not stop him.

In fact, you couldn’t.

His next kiss was more desperate and frantic than the last, like he was trying to compensate for all the times he had utterly let you down.

When he finally found the self control to pull back, both of you were panting, faces flushed, hearts racing. He looked at you with a mix of fear, guilt, and longing in his eyes. He wiped your damp cheeks, cupping the sides of your face.

"I don’t mean to," He whispered. “I-I swear, everything I said, I-“

You shook your head in denial, wanting to just shut him up with more kisses knowing if you both talked, you’d eventually argue.

For once, you didn’t want to fight. If the relationship was crashing and burning right now, might as well get one last lick out of it, right?

Metaphorically, and quite literally.

San groaned softly into your mouth, his hands coming up to tangle in your hair and snake to the small of your back as he deepened the kiss with his tongue.

"You drive me insane," He breathed against her lips, breaking the kiss to look into her eyes.

It was true, you always had, in the best and worst ways possible. The feeling was mutual as you stared back at him.

He couldn't resist your pull, the way you were in the moment consumed him entirely. His hands roamed your curves, and reached down to grip your ass firmly as he walked you backwards towards the couch.

You let out a soft gasp, your fingers digging into his waist as you let yourself get sat down with him positioned above you. His knee perched up right between your slightly parted legs.

The friction his knee brushing between your legs sent a jolt of desire straight to your core. He could feel your pulse quickening, and your breath hitching as he sucked and kissed the sides of your neck.

Your hands slipped beneath his black shirt, seeking for skin. With a slight eager tug, he took it off without any argument, revealing his lean muscled torso that you did not hesitate to touch and admire knowing it was going to be the last time.

Instead of letting that knowledge crush you or him, with a low moan, he just leaned into your touch.

“Tell me to stop…” He breathed out, hands on your shoulders to steady himself. He struggled to maintain control as his arousal throbbed against the inside of his zipper.

“Keep going.” You replied in a husky whisper.

With a groan, he gave in to the temptation. His tongue met yours, as his hands slid down to your chest to cup your breasts through the thin fabric of your top, having to bite back a smirk when your back arched into his technique.

Your nimble fingers freed him from his jeans. Unbuttoning, and then zipping down before massaging his hard on through the fabric of his underwear. A breath of relief escaped his lips when his throbbing cock was finally freed.

He helped you out of your top, watching you stroke his impressive length in your hands from above. His hands glided down your back and unclasped your bra, letting your breast sit in all its glory.

He was going to take care of you first until your mouth engulfed him without missing a beat.

“O-oh my god.” His hips bucked involuntarily forward as your skilled hand continued to stroke, the dual sensations of her and her fingers wrapped around his member threatening to overwhelm him.

San’s eyes rolled back as you took him entirely into your mouth. His body weight leaning on his forearms that were on either sides of your head, holding onto the back of the couch for dear life.

Your skilled tongue and throat working in tandem to bring him to the brink of madness. The wet heat blanketing his aching cock was almost too much to bear, each bob of her head sent him more and more over the edge.

"Oh f-fuck!” His mouth hung open as he fisted your hair and fought the urge to thrust deeper.

A part of him couldn’t make sense why this was happening now of all times. He could’ve just taken your desperation to touch him for granted but something about it didn’t feel right.

With effort and a hell lot of focus, San gently stopped you before he could cum. He stroked the side of your face when you looked up at him confused. He shot one of the sweetest dimpled smiles at you.

Seeing that dimpled smile light up your face.

With a hand behind your head, he laid you back on the couch gently. Your hands politely stayed on your own chest, cupping them as you watched his next move.

In one swift motion, he tugged down your underwear with your pyjama shorts and tossed them away.

One of your legs get thrown over his shoulder, and he used his other hand to part your leg wider. His head moved down to your glistening sex and his tongue licked a strip up your folds.

Air got caught in your throat. You let out a shaking deep breath through your lips. His hand on your thigh moved up to your chest, intertwining his fingers with your fingers against your racing heartbeat.

You gripped onto his fingers every time he’d do something that sent shockwaves through your body either with his lips, tongue or his nose. He kissed your sensitive clit, alternating his tongue between that and pounding into your entrance.

“San,” You whined, which only encouraged him to keep going. You tilted your chin upwards, facing the ceiling as tears began welling in your eyes. Unclear if it was the pleasure or the sinking feeling in the out of your stomach.

Then you felt that body shock again, jolting you as you let out a loud moan.

You met his eyes. Those cat-like eyes staring back at you between your legs with laser focus before lazily shutting when he turned his head to the side to lap up your slick arousal from the inner part of your thighs.

He got up and took off his underwear before hovering on-top of you, centring his hard shaft just past your entrance as he supported himself up by the armrest behind your head.

His chain necklace to drop down and dangle in your face.

He gazed into your eyes, reaching down to rub your slick folds once more. He leaned down to kiss you, tasting yourself on his lips as he readjusted his hard dick between your legs. Your hands wrapped themselves in the dip of his waist as your knees pressed against his hips.

“We can’t keep fighting forever,” You told him in a faint whisper.

Leaning down, he distracted you by capturing your lips into a tender loving kiss to slowly pushed in. He felt your teeth on his lip as your walls adjusted to him.

“I know.” Was all he could murmur against your face as a hand cupped one side of your face.

He kept having your lips in between his as he started to move, his hips rolling in a slow rhythm designed to slowly ease into you. Small gasps escaped your lips and you clutched onto his biceps for support while your neck stretched upwards.

“Baby, you feel incredible.” He picked up the pace slightly, his thrusts growing deeper, and more insistent, as he chased the intense feeling coursing through him.

The way your body clenched around his length, the soft gasps falling from your lips.

With your moans of approval, he seized the opportunity to go even deeper and quicken the pace in your wet welcoming heat. He pulled in your mouth for intoxicating searing kisses he couldn’t get enough of.

“I miss you,” You whimpered out the truth between the kisses. “S-so much.”

He snapped forward with new determination accentuated by the lewd sounds of your skin slapping against each other.

He let go of your mouth to focus on your chest. "I'm right here baby." He mumbled over your breasts as he cupped one in his large hands, brushing over your nipples before reaching down to lick.

He alternates between wet kisses and whirling his tongue, aimed to only give you pleasure. In his defence, he hasn't had the opportunity to do this in a while.

You grabbed a side of his face to look into his lustful eyes. “I really did love you.” You breathed out.

“I love you too.” He replied, too entranced by the moment to catch that single word in your sentence.

You crashed your lips against his. The technique of his kissing made you moan loudly into his mouth, and then against his jaw with your eyes shut when he was hitting the perfect spot over and over.

Your body was tensing up tighter and tighter as the pressure of the inside you. You could feel yourself teetering on the edge, ready to shatter into a million pieces at any moment.

“I’m close,” San panted. “Come for me. Come first.”

As a result of his husky words, your walls clench around him, and your climax comes crashing in. One passionate thrust as he buried himself inside your convulsing sex, the intense orgasm shook your entire body violently.

While your final convulsions faded, you slumped against the couch, panting heavily. Meanwhile, San rode off your enjoyment only to abruptly slip out of you before blowing a load inside you without a condom on.

He released himself from your legs that were wrapped around him and hurried to your nearby bathroom, his hard-on in his hands.

You lay there in a daze, trying to make sense of everything, feeling a mix of confusion and shame. You covered your face with your hands, desperate to hide from the reality of the situation.

Slowly, you pulled yourself up from the leather couch to sit up, its surface sticking a little to your sweaty skin, before you reached for your underwear lying forgotten at your feet.

You managed to get most of your clothes back on when he returned. The sight of him—his broad athletic build and that confident stride—distracted you just long enough for him to lean down and kiss you, his hands gently resting on the side of your neck.

You instinctively covered his hand with your own, locking eyes with him.

“Everything okay?” His voice was soft.

You stayed quiet for a moment, the weight of his question sinking in.

He kissed you again, his lips warm and insistent, and for a moment, the thoughts swirling in your head began to fade.

Before you knew it, he lowered himself down onto the floor across from you, wanting to pull you on top of him to straddle him.

“Stop. No more.” you murmured, pushing him away gently.

Your heart pounding as your knees pressed against the hardwood floors when you realised you were already sitting on his thighs.

San sharply sighed, a little disappointed, but he didn’t fight it. He let go of his grip on your waist, and you slowly kicked yourself off him.

The two of you lay on the floor, side by side, your breaths finally slowing after whatever that was. The silence between you wasn’t comforting in the slightest.

He reached for his underwear with his feet, slipping it on slowly, his eyes never leaving you. He was trying to read you, trying to understand what was going on.

You turned your head to look at him. His eyes turned to the ceiling, his expression unreadable, distant even though he was right there.

“San,” you began softly, your voice breaking the stillness. “I think we—”

His phone buzzed, cutting through the tension, and he glanced at it with another sigh. You felt the moment slip away as he got up and fumbled for his phone left in his pants by the couch.

“It’s Mingi,” he muttered.

“San,” you tried again, your tone heavier this time, begging for his attention. But he’d already answered the call.

You stayed on the floor, your chest tightening as fragments of their conversation reached your ears.

“Dude, what? I’m in the middle of… Huh? No, I haven’t heard from her,” San said, his tone sharp but tinged with concern. “She’s been dodging everyone since that night at Yeosang’s when you wouldn’t shut up about your conquests.”

Your frown deepened as you propped yourself up on your elbows to watch him. His brows furrowed, his full attention on the call like you weren’t even there.

“Well, maybe you should go check on her then,” San said, leaning back against the couch. “What, come over? Her place or yours?”

A pause, then his expression shifted—confusion, followed by clear exasperation.

San ran a hand through his messy hair. “Fine, whatever. I’ll come over later.” He hung up, tossing the phone onto the floor like it had personally wronged him.

“Mingi needs help with something,” he said it like that was enough explanation.

You stared at him, baffled and angry, “So you’re going?”

He turned to you, guilt flashing briefly in his eyes before he looked away. “I don’t have a choice,” he said quietly.

The words hit you like a slap, but what was worse than the sting was the inevitability that this was always how it would be. You, waiting for scraps of his time, his attention. Him, running off to play hero for everyone but you.

“You always have a choice. You just never choose me.”

Guilt and shame took over his tired expression, “That’s not fair.”

“Isn’t it?” You shot back. “You couldn’t even let me finish breaking up with you before answering his call.”

“What? Babe, it’s not like that. Look, he really likes her and—“

“Save it,” you cut him off, your voice sharp. “Since you’re always serious about everyone else, just go.”

He hesitated, his hand hovering near his phone. “You’re being—”

“Go,” you repeated firmly, tears welling in your eyes but your tone unwavering. “And don’t ever come back this time.”

For a moment, he looked like he wanted to defend himself, or to stay, but then he stood up. He pulled the rest of his clothes back on, grabbed his phone, and shoved it into his back pocket without a word.

He glanced at you on his way out, his gaze searching for something, anything, to make this easier. He convinced himself he’d call you tomorrow, that this wasn’t really goodbye like the other times you both have tried to end it. He didn’t realize how serious you were this time.

He walked past the shards and the broom and left. The door clicked shut behind him.

[simplydannie]

“I’m A Twin” Velvet Art

Me and @fairytypingg are trying to come up with some ideas for various species of Under Rageons. Some here were inspired by them and a TikTok I once saw!

Velvet now wears her brother’s beanie… She is pained, she is numb… She’s just trying to escape the hurt that haunts her. One day, she finally hears those dreaded words… “Where’s Veneer?”

3 months ago…

All you could hear was the sound of their feet against the concrete down the alley. Velvet strung Veneer by the wrist, pulling him violently behind her. She lead them behind a dumpster big enough for them to hide. Velvet pulled him close.

“Quiet!” She whispered to him. Veneer covered his mouth attempting to hide his staggering, broken breathing… he was scared. Velvet peeked around the dumpster; she saw shadows and quick movement far off the alley.

“Where the hell did they go!!!”

“I saw them come this way!!!”

“Cursed Rageons! Find them now!”

She heard their footsteps and voices leave, “We’re okay… for now.”

“What do we do? Where do we go?” Veneer asked her.

“I… I don’t know… Why in the hell did they send us back here in the first place?” Velvet looked at the glooming under-city of Under Rageous. Way above she could see the dazzling lights of Mount Rageous. “We’re not supposed to be back down here.”

“…. I broke their contract. When I told everyone what we were doing… I’m sorry Vels. I didn’t mean for this to happen. I was just scared that….”

“… that you were loosing me. Well thanks for the protection Ven! Look where we are at now! You idiot!” She yelled. Velvet took a look at both of them…they were back into their under-city clothing. Veneer had his stupid purple beanie again… god she hated that thing. “You look ridiculous.”

He turned away frowning. Veneer had never intended for this to happen, for them to be hunted down, for them to be living in fear again, “I’m sorry Vels.”

“Shut it! We need to get out of Rageous for good. It’s the only way we’ll be safe. Follow me.” She led them through the alleys away from the any eyes. For one they stood out, their kind of Rageon was known for pale skin, the bright green hair didn’t help much either. Velvet knew of a back way out of the city, an opening they could take…and leave for good. Only thing is, where would they go?

As if reading her mind Veneer responded, “Can we make our way to the Trolls?”

She rolled her eyes, “Why are you still thinking about those damn Trolls?”

“They’ll take us in. I know Floyd would.” Veneer said.

“No. We’re not going to those Trolls. We’re going to find another way.”

“But Vels…”

“I SAID NO!” Velvet turned around and stabbed a finger into her brother’s chest, “I am not listening to you any longer Veneer! Look where that got us! From now on you do as I say…GOT THAT!”

Veneer was hesitating to respond…

“I said go that!”

“O-okay.”

“….I hate you….” She told him before continuing…They walked a few minutes in silence before she started recognizing the layout; they were close, the opening to the outside world was not far off…

“There you guys are!” A happy voice boomed from behind them. The twins turned to see a Rageon with glowing blue eyes staring at them, he had spirals where his pupils should be…he was a Strobe. “Thought you could run away huh?”

“Let’s go Ven!” Velvet grabbed his wrist and started running again. Their feet barely touching the ground on how fast they were running. “We’re almost there!”…But she skid to a halt as two more Rageons appeared blocking her way: Both had pointed like ears with slanted pupils, when they grinned they bared sharp pointed teeth… Those in Mount Rageous called every one down here “defects”, the product of years of mutation from the horrible, harsh environments.

“Go back, go back!” She turned around to find more Under Rageons surrounding them. “….shit.”

“Corned like little mice. We’d get you one way or another.” The Strobe Rageon approached. He snapped his fingers. The other Rageons came in and grabbed each twin firmly by the arms, a grip so tight that they could feel their arms grow numb.

“What the hell! Let us go! What did we do to you? We don’t even know you!” Velvet cried out.

“True. True. You don’t. But we know you. The failed superstars Rageous. You’re name definitely went down in history. I mean you could’ve gone far if it wasn’t for this yapper here.” He pointed towards Veneer, “You guys have done nothing to us, by all means you’re innocent.”

“Then let us go please.” Veneer begged.

The Rageon nodded his head, “No can do.” He pulled out a knife, playing with it in front of the twins…he was taunting them. “You know how Under Rageous feels about you Succubi Rageons….cursed, the sight of your kind is just bad all around. And then who get’s pulled to be up at the top from the hundreds of thousands of Rageons in the under-city? A pair of bratty teenaged Succubi Rageons with no damn talent, other than stealing abilities of others and sucking their damn life! Funny how your kind makes a living like that.”

“Don’t even go there! Our kind is the one that gives you guys the Trolls you so happily buy in the Black Market!” Velvet declared.

The Rageon snickered, “Ah yes there’s my other reason. Turns out that Trolls have a negative effect on everyone. A poison if you will. Pretty nice way to try to wipe out the rest of us when your kind take their claim in the under-city.”

“That’s a lie!” Veneer cried out.

“….One by one, we have been taking Succubi Rageons out….cleansing the city of them for good.”

“You can’t do that! There’s, there’s families! Kids!” Veneer cried out.

“And those kids will grow to be soul sucking creatures just like the family that raised them… just like you two.” He told them.

“Some don’t!” Veneer continued.

“Ven, shut it!” Velvet warned.

“Some kids were just like me and my sister. We didn’t have parents to help us control what we have! Our parents were good people too. They didn’t want us to do what we did. We were just stupid. We believed in the wrong person…”

“Veneer that’s enough…”

But he continued, “It’s not us anyways! Those up in Mount Rageous is what caused our separation in the first place!”

“Oh my gosh!! Blah, blah, blah! Don’t you ever just shut up! I don’t care what you have to say kid! I just really dislike your kind in the first place…. They took everything from me!” The Rageon screamed.

“… I’m sorry. But that wasn’t us…”

“I had enough of you! Bring me the yapper!” The Rageon holding Veneer dragged him to their leader. He pulled out the knife again and gently skidded it across Veneer’s porcelain skin.

“No….No…NO! LEAVE HIM ALONE!” Velvet cried in desperation. Veneer’s eyes grew wide in horror, tears beginning to fall from his face, his body began to tremble.

“Oh! Listen to that boys! She begs.” He laughed as he continued to glide the knife across Veneer’s face and down his neck.

“Leave him alone! Out of all of us he’s the most innocent!” Velvet continued to cry.

The Strobe Rageon licked his lips, “No Succubi Rageon is innocent…You’re all guilty…You’re all cursed…”

Veneer struggled against the Rageons….he began to grow desperate, he began to grow more afraid. Veneer continued to beg for his release, for the release of his sister…His eyes began to glow a hue of pink. The Rageon holding him down began to panic, “Boss…What’s happening?”

“The poison effect first hand.”

But something else began to happen…Veneer pulled and struggled, trying to break free, “Please let me go he begged.” As his eyes glowed, something began to happen to those around him…their bodies illuminated light as Veneer began aborbing their essence…their life force. They could feel themselves growing weaker, their bodies growing numb.

“Stop it….STOP IT!” The Strobe Rageon yelled.

“He can’t control it! Just let him go please!” Velvet yelled struggling against her captor. She tried, she tried her hardest, but she couldn’t break free. Velvet hoped the high of the poison would come to her…but it didn’t. What’s going on, she thought to herself. The Rageons around Veneer grew weaker and paler.

“Tell him to stop!” The Rageon holding him cried. The Strobe Rageon put a hand around Veneer’s throat, grasping it hard and firm.

“No please! No please, leave him alone!” Velvet cried as her tears began to fall. Holding Veneer’s throat, the Rageon brought out his knife again…

“Cursed brat”…

…..Veneer began to cry out in pain…

“NO OH GOD! NO STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT! VENNIE!! PLEASE LEAVE HIM ALONE HE CAN’T CONTROL IT! HE CANT CONTROL IT! IT’S NOT HIS FAULT PLEASE!!! OH GOD STOP IT, STOP IT! VENNIE!!!!!!”

Present day…

Velvet was on a bus that lead away from the city she resumed in for the past couple of weeks…

It had taken three months, but she had finally found where Floyd would be at, where the Trolls lived. She carried with her a small duffle bag with only a few belongings she had acquired on her small journey. Velvet still had on her Under Rageous attire, one of only two outfits she’d switched back and forth too. Her hair now fell in loose curls around her…on her head, her brother’s purple beanie…

Velvet could feel the stares of those riding in the bus with her…Rageons were not common outside from Rageous, the sight of one was extremely rare, and quite alarming. She didn’t care to make any eye contact or conversation. All that mattered was for her to reach her destination and finally rest…perhaps be rid of the pain she had been carrying for the past three months. Velvet leaned her head against the window and stared at the scenery outside. She had no more tears to cry…she was drained…she was numb. Velvet had grown paler and duller…as if the life was completely sucked out from her….and it was, it really was.

Night had fallen and the stars shown brightly. Veneer would’ve loved this, she thought to herself. He was always curious about what world lay outside Rageous, about what life was like. Everything in Rageous was artificial, well, mostly everything. He was an idiot, she told herself….Nope, still no tears…

“BergenTown. Next exit.” The words displayed on the over-head. This was her stop, finally, after three months…at least she’d hope those in BergenTown would be able to help her…She really had no other option.

The bus came to a halt at the stop. Collecting what she had, Velvet made her way out of the bus and into the bus stop. The doors screeched behind her as they closed, the tires of the bus whirring against the asphalt is it drove off. There was a road that lead away front the bus stop leaving her no choice but to follow it through. The road lead her through the outskirts of a wooded area… it wasn’t barren like the woods in Under Rageous but rather green and sprouting with life, with creatures she had never scene before or even knew existed….She hated it, she hated every last little bit of everything she saw..…it reminded her of him. Velvet averted her eyes from the scenery, she continued to walk with her eyes glued to the ground.

Eventually, she came upon the gates of BergenTown, home of the King of the Bergens, “Really? This is it? Not much.” She pushed the small button that rang the bell of the gates of the Bergen Kingdom…

“So tonight what she would do? I was thinking like a game night! Oh even better! A dance off game night!” Poppy beamed.

“Oh boy.” Branch exclaimed next to her. The little Trolls had decided to spend the evening with their Bergen friends. Normally it would be all the Trolls, Branches brothers and Viva, but this night, Poppy just wanted it to be a couples evening really.

“How about we just play some board games? I brought out some pretty cool we can play. For this one I was thinking we do boys vs. girls!” Gristle chimed.

“Great idea Grissy!” Bridgette clapped her hands.

Branch pumped up his arms, “Be ready to go down Poppy!”

Before they could begin their game, a guard came into the room they were gathered in, “Sire, forgive me but, we have a visitor who requests an audience with you.”

“A visitor? Is it a Troll?” Gristle asked.

“No sir. It’s not a Troll, it’s not a Bergen either.”

“Oh! Maybe a Vacationer! We’ve been getting more Vacationers since Bruce advised our kingdom.”

“No…No sir not a Vacationer.”

Bridgette looked at Gristle with an arched eyebrow, “Then what?”

The four of them followed the guard to the main entrance…That’s when they stopped and realized who their visitor was.

“Oh no. No, no, no. She has to get out of here!” Branch exclaimed.

“Velvet?” Poppy’s voice sounded.

“Yes, yes. It’s me in the flesh.” The Rageon said sarcastically.

“Are you out of prison? Because we promised the other kingdoms we wouldn’t harbor fugitives.” Gristle stated.

Velvet crossed her arms and scoffed, “I’ve been out of prison for the last couple of months. Thanks a lot.”

“Okay good. Now go somewhere else!” Branch scrunched his face as he looked upon the girl.

“Such a happy little grudge Troll.” She teased.

“Why are you here?” Gristle asked.

Velvet let out a sigh, “I need….I need a place to stay. It took me three months but I finally found you all. I left Rageous. I’m done with that place. I just need a fresh start, something new.”

They fell silent. Should they turn her away? Gristle didn’t want to risk any friendship the Bergens had with the Trolls. Velvet may just mess that up if the Trolls found out she was staying here…but then, she needed help, she needed a place to say…she needed a home…but they couldn’t help feel that something was missing. Seeing her standing there alone felt odd. That’s when the dreadful words were asked, the words she didn’t want to hear, the words that she knew would be asked when the Trolls or anybody that knew her saw her again…the words that stung her heart…

“Where’s Veneer?”

[okeydokeylackey]

Infamous Foe

drawing @theepicmirroregg's boy Maxwell finally broke me free of this art block curse (seriously I have been absolutely fighting for my life recently) if i owe you a comm please just shoot me a DM so I remember to do it, I have the memory of a goldfish

[helloescapist]

Bento Confessionals | Fat Gum

Word Count: 3960

Setting: early established relationship; Fat Gum x gn!reader; SFW, short

Content Warning(s): brief hint of assault, hint of objectification

Summary: being in a relationship with a pro-hero is something that happens over time, and as work picks up for Fat Gum following the Shie Hassaikai Incident, you reminisce of your time together, determined to do everything you can to support him.

A/N: just me considering a whole bento confessionals series... 🫣

[not my art, credit goes to the artist!]

Sunlight filtered through the room, glanced pass sheer white curtains that smelled of the breeze that dared to drift through the open window. Its warmth danced across the humble balcony into your small one-bedroom apartment. The distant sound of the hustle and bustle of the day, gentle and unassuming. At one time, the hush tones of the market had been quite the adjustment when you had relocated to Esuha City.

The almost serene atmosphere having given rise to a nameless anxiety, and practically convinced you that there must be something lurking within the shadows. The peaceful abode a stark contrast from the hectic life you had lived in Tokyo, you reminisced as you maneuvered your small section of your loft apartment dedicated to the kitchen. The small number of necessities for life alone cleanly put away, and the trace of chocolate ivy dangling from the top shelf; it was a humble kitchen, one your parents had openly scoffed at, but it was your kitchen. The only other tenant the occasional house plant you had impulsively brought along to make the space feel more inviting, less alone. Their presence warmed the lower white counters nestled against a simple fridge, and wood counter tops, as you adjusted the faucet’s water levels. The slightest hint of chocolate ivy from the plant who had made its home at the top of the highest cabinet tickled your nose as you folded over the daikon, cleansing it from any soil or pest that might have snuck aboard its leaves. Their yellow bright amongst the blanched background, reminding you of the day you had first met him.

Boxes piled on boxes, chairs resting on tables to leave the floor beneath exposed, packaging delicately removed to reveal glassware, you had just moved from Tokyo in nothing short of a fit of rage and humiliation. The mere idea of your employer suggesting you relocate from your hard-earned role as the restaurant’s Sous Chef and abandon any claim of climbing the kitchen hierarchy to be… a mascot? Oh, the rage that had coursed through your trembling body, the curse words you had bellowed in the short man’s face as you fumbled to untie your apron, smacking it into his tacky mustache with all the might you could muster. His muttering of utilizing quirks as his excuse to depose of you, for the good of the health of the business. Stating that your quirk and pretty face made for the perfect opportunity to boost morale and draw in consumers. Oh you had seethed from every pore of your being, your face redder than the tomatoes you had tossed in his face when the word slipped past his thin, rat lips. Mascot. MASCOT. Fought to free yourself of the buttons of your double-breasted jacket, willing to expose yourself to the whole staff—the patisserie had certain caught a glimpse, but whatever it took to rid you of the fine cuisine’s establishment embroidered on your breast. Trampling the material in one final attempt to swing at the executive chef, the saucier having blocked your route, having simple to settle for being hoisted out of the restaurant by the chef de cuisine alongside a few of the waiting staff. When the news broke to your family, things had only grown more turbulent (and provided fuel to your fire) as they struggled to comprehend your refusal of “promotion”. Reminiscent of the days preceding your graduation--- the shades of red your father had turned when you retired your hero license in pursuit of a life of merit. Except, this time had been worse, and left a permanent mark on your already tense relationship. You, unwilling to compromise your beliefs, and your family concerned that you had selected to live life on the difficulty setting. So. You said goodbye. Well, not a permanent goodbye, but, you did welcomed the space and freedom to spread your wings. Waved fair well to the crowded metropolis, packed away all of your belongings in whatever you could find, found a listing online, signed what could have easily been questionable loan opportunities (thank goodness for your older brother’s guidance and generosity), and escaped to the Kansai region of Japan.

                The café space was smaller than you had expected, perhaps far too familiar with those provided by the Tokyo experience. With a small eating set up—by obviously you meant a single table with two chairs nestled outside of the loft building, and a few opportunities in doors. The window framing the occupied space in aging stonework. Old dusty lanterns left by the former owner clung to the ceiling, a select few booths with seats that would need replacing, each booth composed of a small intimate screen, and a counter pace with seats close to the kitchens in need of maintenance of their own. The overwhelming amount of work beckoning your attention, and earning a remorseful laugh from your older sibling all the exhaustion of the move running through his mind as he placed the last moving box down on a dusty, wobbly table. “[F/N]? You okay?” His eyes wandering the silhouette of your back as you gazed around the location. “H-hey,” he had muttered before wrapping a warm hand on your shoulder. Only to be met with the look of determination flickering in your eyes before a confident smile crawled across his lips. To you, this building all though in desperate need of care, it represented a world of opportunities. A real chance to thrive, and to earn your own place in this world, from your own hands rather than your face, or quirk. “Just promise me, you won’t open a cat café,” he teased before bidding you farewell, home bound to Tokyo, and likely your parents’ restless inquiries, as you rolled up your sleeves and set to work.

                The demands of the job hand been more than you had initially expected—your fine dining experience had certainly familiarized you with heaving garbage (at the executive chef’s horror, the notion of a beautiful face wasting away in the recycling, but never before had you been on the ground floor, building a business. The long hours of cleaning and preparing for opening day had claimed most of your senses. On the last day of preparation is when you had met him.

                Deep in the final box of your belongings, you had missed the initial ding of the front door opening. So early in the morning, you hadn’t considered yourself at risk of pedestrians wandering in from the sidewalks. He had made his way in, his body tired from the long hours of patrol, and full intending to go home, having pulled an all-nighter, a snack and bed sounded divine, but the distant glow of your business had drawn him in. The cute trees that you had watered beginning to bloom in the weeks of your preparation. The store front hadn’t seen life in some time, and it had been a while since he could see through the windows, something about it the atmosphere seemed comforting and enticed him to push open the front door. “Hello?” He had called out, the giant smile encompassing all of his features, his round shadow drifting into your view. Causing you a shock as you popped up. “Is anyone here?”

                “I- Oh, um, we’re n-not open yet!” you sputtered, your wide eyes meeting his own. An uncomfortable smile spreading across your features, before slapping your mouth over it to conceal it. Too late, you thought, practically drowning in the misery of realization. He had seen you. The way his cheeks burned through his black mask despite the way it cupped his cheeks, drawing back pass his forehead. The hood of his costume bright despite the faint light of the morning hours. A giant F followed by a capital G, and what you assumed was an inverted F printed alongside the other letters, his grin evident and rosy.

                “Oh, no, no,” he reassured, waving his hands at you. The grin growing steadily, and a cheery disposition forming over him, “I’m sorry. I just wanted to welcome you to Esuha City!” His voice was practically booming, optimistic and bright as the morning sun as he bent forward, bending as well as he could with his round body. “Welcome!” Accidentally plopping into the furniture as he did so, the embarrassment evident in the way he rebounded, his hand on the back of his head as he forced out a laugh. As he ran through the introductions, you rushed to right yourself, quickly concealing your features with a black mask. This was your fault, you thought with a sigh. The  rosy complexion and affectionate way he regarded you. You had been so diligent since your arrival to the area, made sure to keep mouth covered despite the inquiries the grannies in the neighborhood had made, and now that you thought about it, they had spoken warmly about the pro-hero that stood before you.  The distinct rumbling breaking his rambling introduction, what you had believed to be the result of your quirk, Allure. His direct exposure to your smile, albeit an awkward one had ensnared him, and it would be a few hours before he recovered, drew your attention. “A-Ah, well,” he laughed, “I’ll have to stop by when your open, thank you for your time ma’am.” Surprisingly deft on his foot as he twirled from you, tripping over a table that he hadn’t seen in his peripheral vision. His forehead popping into the grain of the wood, and leaving a noticeable mark as he turned his head at you. Another awkward chuckle, and big smile. One that formed one behind your mask.

                “Please, sit,” you instructed. It was the least you could do, you had concluded, and despite his reassurance that he was okay, you had pushed menus into his hands, offering a vague request to fold them before setting to work. Your prep for the day to come had made assembling breakfast effortless for you, and when you placed your well thought out apology meal before him, you could see his smile glow with joy. Because of this quirk, you thought sadly, careful to avoid his eye. You were familiar enough with the pro-hero, Fat Gum, not so much as you were with Endeavor or All Might, but his accomplishments were known to cross newsfeeds from time to time, especially now that you were in Esuha City, he was essentially the pride and joy of the community, and you grasped the base concept of calorie intake in relation to his quirk. His eyes glistening at the spread before him. Mentions of it wasn’t necessary, and sorry for the inconvenience, things like that, that you quickly dismissed, “for folding the menus.” His enthusiastic praise over every dish, tearing at your heart. Was it your quirk, or did he actually enjoy the kabocha miso soup? Did he even like the natto—it was kind of an acquired taste. The takuan, picked daikon as yellow as his shirt bit down quickly, followed after a bite of tamagoyaki, as he hummed over the sizzling mackerel. The growing sense of melancholy ebbing at your belly, as you listened to him fill the air with cheerful chatter.

                If only you had known at that time he had in fact, not seen your smile. No, upon entering the Kappa Kitchen, he had only heard your soft hums, a song, one he wasn’t yet familiar with, and when you shyly peeked from behind the counter, he had only seen the filter of morning light reflected in your eyes. Sparkling and dazling in a way he couldn’t quite put his finger on, something warm like hot chocolate, or as comforting as nikujaga on a winter day, or perhaps the allure of takoyaki under festival lanterns. The charm of something familiar and charming sending his heart into a small strum.

The giggle of the memory of his stumbling along the small restaurant formed on your tongue, and shaded your cheeks. He had been so sweet, that you had been convinced that initial reaction had been coerced. As you diligently layered protection over a chicken cutlet. Before skillfully wielding your mallet, reminiscing over the weeks that had followed. Upon the opening of the shop, Kappa Kitchen officially in business, you thankfully had your hands full—and no more mask slips either! The flow of costumers was steady some brought on by curiosity, there were those excited to experience home cooking on the go, and goodness knows that the onslaught of students during lunch and after school hours were enough to fit the utilities. It was in fact, none other than your present-day boyfriend who had shared rave reviews for anyone who would listen, mostly because his stomach was next to his heart, but he did in fact care about the financial wellness of everyone under his car. It was during this time; you would often see him pass the shop on patrol. Some days, he would peek into the window, an evident grin despite the fact that he was in fact, very much visible (to the chiding of the grannies in the neighborhood). A few times, he had successfully blended in with the crowd, taking advantage with your familiarity with only his alias. Other times, he would send a hero in training to retrieve a pick-up order. To the obvious dismay of the chittering older women who frequently stopped by, eager to see how your relationship developed, and the poor intern as well, who would sputter through the interaction, and read a joke off a script Fat Gum had provided. In time, he would slowly level up from casual greetings while you were out shopping to picking up orders himself, to indoor dining, to the daring requests for you to sit across from him at the end of the day’s work as your last customer for the day. It was all puzzling to you… your quirk had never extended pass six hours; why he acted as though he were still enamored was beyond you, but it was on one of those rare nights that he had arrived especially late that you saw a new side of the Pro-Hero.

The light had long since evaded the night, the later hour evident by the absence of by the lack of foot traffic outside. The quiet ticking away of the frog shaped clock giving away the time as you fiddled with the hem of your apron. The little frog motifs adorable despite your low mood. Your brows wrinkled as you hesitantly looked at the packed order before you, too embarrassed to admit that you had assumed your frequent costumer would stop by. You weren’t aware of all the specifics, he had only shared that he would be working with the police, but offered nothing more nor did you dare press for specifics. The information was shared over one of his late nights, and you had grown accustomed to his drop ins, and dare you admit… welcomed them. So much so that before you rested a bento packed with cutesy bear shaped onigiri, chicken katsu, a variety of vegetables you had painstakingly sliced into… hearts. Oh god, your hand met your eyes, shielding you from the carefully wrapped meal. Your cheeks burned, was it from the reality of how deep your emotions had delved over the past few weeks, the fact that you had longed to see his smile at the end of the day, or the fact that you were crushed with disappointment. Biting your lip, and releasing a sigh, you pulled yourself from your seat. Peeling your eyes away from the packed food, you had decided that you would leave it until the morning. Maybe some part of you just didn’t want to deal with it because in some way, having to dispose of it meant having to face your own blooming affections, and the fact that tears threatened to spill down your cheeks. Maybe some part of you, wanted to believe that he was just running late, and would collect the box after you had gone to bed. Whatever the motivation for procrastination, you left it there as well as the door unlocked. Numbly turning off the light in the dining room before dragging yourself to the kitchen to clean up from a day’s work.

That night had been the driving point in your relationship, you mused to yourself as you carefully mixed together the flour and cornstarch. Draining the chicken from the marinade as you thoroughly allowed it resist before beginning to drudge it. Yes, that night had been the true starting point although you didn’t like to think about it.

You were careless, and way too trusting. You had left the door open in the hopes that Fat Gum may stop by, never considering someone else would have taken advantage of the opportunity, and if he hadn’t arrived in time, things could have ended far worse than thrown glasses, a torn mask and a bruised cheek. You had seen a new side of him that night too, well actually two of them. You had been introduced to Toyomitsu Taishiro, a well muscular man with quite the temper on him, and no holds barred against your would-be assailant. His late nights with the police having drained his fat deposits, revealing a man who shared a beautiful, gentle smile the same Fat Gum adorned, one hand pressed to your quickly bruising cheek where the man had slapped. Delicately checking you over, whispering reassuring words as the realization of what had happened flooded through you tears that fell, and crushed you into a hug. His eyes falling on the scatter ingredients of a bento littered across the floor. Little heart shaped carrots scattered around, and the conclusion that he didn’t ever want to see your tears again.

                Shortly after, he would treat you to a festival date. Blonde hair that glistened under the festival lanterns, eyes as beautiful as the purest daffodil that wandered the stalls in amazement. The opportunity to indulge in the wide variety of treats, full of wonder and excitement, but what stuck with you was how good it felt for his large hand to be clasped around your own. And how away from prying eyes under the glow of summer fireworks, he had delicately removed your mask. Slowly and tenderly, cautious to be sure he had your consent. The evidence he would withdraw should you show the slightest hint of discomfort. An indescribable heat that burned in his eyes as he slowly slipped the thin fabric pass your nose, exposing your lips to the night air before pressing his forehead against your own. The pounding of your heart as his hand clasped the back of your neck, the tickle of his breathe against your cheek before you daringly tilted your head forward, pressing your lips against his own. The soft hum of content that radiated from him, and how your heart felt as though it had joined with his own.

                Because the truth was, your quirk had no affect on those who loved you.

The distinct sizzle of the oil when the chopstick pressed into the pot before quietly adding the breaded chicken cutlet to the frying pan lead you into the next part of your task. Determination captivating you. It had to taste amazing, it needed to be perfect. Among all of the usual demands Taishiro endured, something had happened in the past few days. Something that had set off a wave of fires so to speak, lit up news stations, captivated newsfeeds, and flooded social media sites, and from what had happened the night before, you suspected had involved your pro-hero, personally.

It was late. Very late, but you had known he wasn’t intending to stop by for his usual order. In fact, he had mentioned work had picked up, and he would be busy over the next few days. You had grown accustomed to the vague exchange of information, such was the duties of a hero, and the burden of loving one was yours to bare. At the time, something about it had sat hollow in your stomach. Bubbled quiet doubts, an odd ebbing feeling that had nagged at you over the past few days since your departure. You were used to his long, odd hours. Familiar with absent periods, and even unsightly marring across him from unfortunate scuffles. Didn’t share a moment of doubt over his need to pack on extra calories, of course he did, but it was something about the way he had left you. Pressing his forehead against your own, his amber eyes gazing into your own. Something about the long pause, and deep breath he had contained when he held you. As though he were doing everything within his power to memorize your shape, the way you fit in his arms, the languid fresh scent of miso that hung to your hair. Craved your touch, and hesitated to leave… that wasn’t him. He had always been optimistic, confident that he would return. Always kissed your forehead before, sensually uttering, “I’ll be home soon,” in your ear. But not this time. Forehead pressed against your own, a soft smile as he gazed into your eyes. Instead of his usual farewell, “I love you.”

                Something wasn’t right, you knew it. Every fiber of your being planted seeds of anxiety, betrayed your sanity, and had you resting against the bed, a pillow wrapped in his sweeter breast against your beast. Tucked under your chin as you traced the floor, telling yourself to trust him. To believe in him. He would come back. He would, but the shatter of silence of the front door opening about broke you. He had come home, but not all in one piece. Taunt muscles, all of his excess adipose storage burned through. Lesions scattered throughout his frame, and even his uniform in shreds, Taishiro looked exhausted. His body heavy, his eyes obviously full of concern and the shadow of things he would rather you never witness evident before collapsing in your arms. He had shared things with you, things you hadn’t expected. Whispered things about Hassaikai, uttered conditions of his interns through broken speech before exhaustion had finally snubbed him out. Collapsed in a heap in your arms, sound asleep from fatigue that robbed him of his awareness, locked in your arms and weight pressed against you as you ran your fingers through his hair.

What had happened, was slowly but surely becoming known, and you suspected he had done his best to shield you from the situation, afraid of worrying you, but much like the circumstances that lead you to moving to the Kansai region, it did the opposite. It fueled you. Determination had flooded you, and consumed you as you carefully placed each ingredient with intention in the bento. Placing bear shaped onigiri snuggly in the corner, followed by a powerful salad packed with every vitamin, and antioxidants you could google, chicken kaarage decorating the side. A slice of lemon, a  sprinkle of katsuobushi, and the addition of fully garnished takoyaki artistically placed in the bento before you closed the container. Laying out a pink flower printed fabric, you paid close attention to centering the lunch box in the center, bringing corners together to knot it securely together. Uttering a protection prayer as you did so, your heart focused on Taishiro. Bidding farewell to the house plants as you locked the door securely behind you, departing on to the street. Destination: Fat Gum Agency. Sure, there were fears, such were the relationship hazards of dating a pro-hero, but more than that was determination and adoration.

                You would do everything to support the man you love.

[autumn-foxfire]

19). "There has to be a way to lift this curse!"

"There has to be a way to lift this curse!"

It was an impassioned plea, one that would make most people cave to their sympathetic urges and shower the man in apologies and reassurances however Dabi was not like most people.

Instead he just glared at the man, who was now wasting his precious time by insisting that somehow he, one of the best curse breaker on this continent, was somehow wrong in his assessment about the man's "curse".

"No, there isn't," he said flatly, "Because I can't break a curse that doesn't exist."

The man gaped at him as the crimson feathers of his, admittedly impressive, wings fluffed up as if to flaunt their own presence like their obnoxiously bright colouring, and the fact that a man somehow had wings, hadn't already done so.

"What do you mean I'm not cursed?!" the man screeched in a bird-like wail that had Dabi wincing and if he hadn't been such a prideful bastard who hated to show any kind of weakness in front of people, especially strangers, he would have reached up to cover his now aching ears.

"Are you blind?! What do you think these-" the man spread out his wings to show off their wingspan, taking up the entire room of Dabi's small tent as he did so, "-are caused by?!"

"Your mom fucking a bird," Dabi answered dryly, "Now leave, I have customers with real curses that I can break."

With how the man had previously taken his rejection, Dabi was prepared for the man to put up more fight and having to deal with him through force however the man just folded his wings back behind his back and dropped his head to the floor with a sigh.

"…Do you really think it's not a curse?" he asked in a defeated tone.

It was a question and a tone too hauntingly familiar to Dabi, one he had used years back when he had approached a curse breaker, who would eventually become his teacher in the art of breaking curses, and asked him to break the curse on his own frail body.

"It's not a curse kid, it's just bad luck you were born this way."

Dabi turned away, a self-depricating smirk on his lips as he repeated what had once been told to him, "Sorry kid, it's just bad luck you were born this way."

He paused and turned slightly to shoot the man a side-glance, "Though out of all things people inherit from their parents, I don't think wings is something most would be upset about."

The man laughed sharply, "These things have brought me nothing but pain," he sneered, "And I'm not a kid, the name's Hawks and I'm the new bodyguard for the Crown Prince of Endeavor."

Dabi's body turned to ice before he broke out into a harsh cackle that scratched his throat made his curl up at the waist.

"My, my, I didn't know I was in the presence of such an important person," Dabi grinned manically, "Maybe I can help you after all!"

Hawks looked at him with unease, clearly wary of Dabi's sudden change of heart, "But you just said it wasn't a curse?"

"It's not," Dabi agreed, a grin still curled up at his lips as plans formulated through his mind, "However that doesn't mean there isn't magic in this world that can't alter someone's body and I just happen to know some people who might know what we're looking for."

"What's the catch?" Hawks asked immediately, golden eyes narrowed with distrust.

Dabi just continued to grin, "Nothing much," he assured him, "I just want to meet the Crowned Prince."

And finally take his revenge against his father once and for all.

-

I wasn't sure what to do for this to be honest so I hope this is okay! I know most of my followers like Hawks and I've always wanted to write some snark between Dabi and Hawks so I wrote this prompt based on them.

It was nice to get the creative juices flowing, I feel like I've been a bit blocked in writing so these small drabbles might be what helps me get back into the groove (though I should also answer my waiting asks too T-T)

[feelingdozy]

A Sickly Sight - Suguru Geto

Summary: Suguru doesn't show up to class, and by now, he'd have texted you. You're getting worked up with anxiousness thinking the worst. But when you get to his place, you're met with a sweaty and burning up, sickly Suguru staring right back at you.

Art by @/YSD2_0 on twitter

wc: 1.4k

warnings: mentioned yelling, half naked Suguru, worried reader, sick Suguru, annoying Satoru, fluff, can be read in alternate au/no curses or normal universe - no direct references

Your eyes glanced down at the bright screen in your lap, sneaking stealthy looks at it in class when the teacher's eyes were focused on the board. Waiting for any sort of text from your best friend, your phone was otherwise lonely and empty to say the least- any other notification ranging from apps you either didn't care about or hadn't used in months. The others were notifications long ignored were from Gojo, ranting away about his usual complaints.

Growing worried, you raised your hand and your voice broke through the silent classroom.

"Teacher, can I go to the nurse's office? I don't feel good." The older-looking man at the front only nodded as his head stayed focused on what he was writing out, not paying full attention to you. Gojo shot you a look from where he was seated beside you with his head resting atop his palm in a slouched pose, the other seat to your left side remaining empty- and as he noticed the empty spot in that direction, suddenly he was positive you weren't going to the nurse's office. A tiny, malicious grin spread along his face at the realization, whispering annoyingly pestering questions, asking where you were actually off to.

"Shut. Up. Satoru. I swear to god-" You said, threatening the boy, although it meant nothing- only there to soothe you with the hope he'd quiet down.

"Missing Suguru, hmm?" He said teasingly, making your face grow hot as you collected your bag from its place on the floor, hoisting it over your shoulder. You only spared him a scowl before rushing out, heading for the exit, eager to get out of the stuffy school.

The dorms weren't far away from the school grounds, so you were quickly met with the familiar apartment block, running up the stairs to find his apartment number. Anxiously scanning each door you passed and got closer, your eyes widened in achievement yet anxiousness as you finally found where you wanted to be. You scavenged your pockets for something. Loud rustling could be heard in comparison to the quiet outdoors you stood in, the trees blowing quietly with the little breeze apparent in the early spring day making the only other noises. The sun sparkling right in your eyes didn't help, impairing your sight and warming your face after it cooled down a bit from Satoru's relentless teases.

Finally, you found what you wanted, pulling a key from within a random pocket of your bag. The reflection bounced off it, making it look like the perfect shining object you had finally retrieved, putting it quickly yet clumsily into the lock as you struggled to find it for a second, twisting before even thinking twice to knock out of politeness. You two were way past that stage anyways, and you doubted you'd find the man naked.

Yet instead you were left dumbfounded- a stripped Suguru laid on his couch slouchily with his arm hanging off, a blanket only covering his lower half, leaving it unknown if he was actually undressed from where your gaze could see or if he was fully naked. The air from a fan placed cleverly to the side blew his dark locks like something out of a movie scene- the sun through his kitchen window striking him beautifully, making you silently and unconsciously admire him before seeing his head tilt your direction.

You were met with wide eyes- a little jump of shock when he saw someone had entered his dorm and was just standing there menacingly. Now facing towards you, you analyzed the man's features, seeing that his face was flushed and forehead dripping with an odd amount of sweat. It was as if he had the heat on, yet a cold, constant stream of air constantly blew at him.

You sighed in relief at the sight that the boy was okay and alive- you had always been one to think the worst had happened. He broke the silence of your thoughts, making you laugh awkwardly as he said your name in confusion.

"Y/n..?" He said hoarsely, voice seeming unused and sore- one that wasn't the normal tone of Suguru.

Slowly, you made your way toward his relaxed figure on the uncomfortable-looking couch.

"Suguru? Hey.. are you..?-" You began to speak, but before you finished, you touched his forehead to be met with a blazing heat- one that caused you to hurriedly cup the rest of his face in your hands with a look of fear. His hands caught yours, rubbing your arms up and down, trying to get you to let go by caressing you- attempting to convince you everything was normal

"Y/n, hey? I'm fine, don't worry-"

"You're fine? Don't worry? How can I not worry Suguru! Why didn't you text me, huh?!" You said cried with a raised voice. One in the middle of yelling and a normal speaking voice, trying to get a point across without seeming like a rage filled nuisance and cause more hurt for him than he might've already been in. He only chuckled nervously, trying to play off the now apparent sickness that tore through him.

"It's just a cold, dear, don't worry," He muttered out, but he knew it would be useless to oppose you now.

"Of course I'm going to worry! I'm getting you medicine, right this instant!" About to storm off out to a close convenience store, you freed his head and rested it slowly back on the couch cushion it had laid on before. You turned around, but within seconds, his hand once again grabbed onto yours, but in a harder grip. This time a groan came from his throat, making your attention immediately turn back to him, head whiping around.

"Suguru..!" You exclaimed, kneeling by his side.

"Y/n, please stay", he took a pained breath, grabbing you a little harder, "I don't wanna be here alone again.. I'm sorry- I regret not telling you sooner." He admitted.

You looked at him with a frown now, not knowing if it'd be better to get medicine or take up his request because he had realized his wrongs. Before you could make a rash decision, he spoke up again when he saw the hesitation on your features.

"Forgive me. Please?" His dark eyes enticed you, begged you- making it hard to decline. You gave in, only nodding your head, too worried to answer him with a proper sentence.

With a lazy grin on his face, hardly any strength or effort was used to pull you into him, letting him guide your body to lay right next to his. Now snuggled up with him on the couch, His hand wrapped around your waist, holding you so you wouldn't fall away from him or off the couch made for only one and a half to lay on.

Being so close to his chest, you cuddled up to it, uncaring of the sheen layer of sweat that coated his body. You huddled so close you heard this raging heartbeat at your presence by his side, putting your arms firmly over him now. Not caring about the moistness present, your eyes began to struggle to stay open in his peaceful and caring hold. Yet, you reassured him before letting any eyes close fully.

"I'm here now, don't worry. I'll never leave you.."

And with that, soon you'd both fall asleep, leaving a breeze to coat the two of you, and by morning, now people were looking for the both of you.

Satoru sighed, turning to Shoko with an annoyed look on his face and an obnoxious tone, showing her his phone of the text messages you'd slipped him on your way out of the class- "I'm going to find Suguru. Brb"

"She was going to look for him, and now, they've both disappeared! And I don't have a spare key-" He said as they walked up to Suguru's dorm just as you did, twisting the knob as it unexpectedly opened. To their surprise, not only was Suguru there- but you as well, both encaged in each other's arms with a twinning sweat dripping down your foreheads, yet a cool breeze was landing on you in contrast. The fan took up the silence as Satoru was stunned for a second, recovering as his loud voice booming out made your eyes flutter gently open, only to turn around and be met with a camera facing you.

"Great, now they're both sick! And cuddling!" You only sighed at the voice, turning around to Suguru's sleepy eyes as they opened slightly, noticing a little drool from sleep spilling from between his lips, signaling a peaceful rest- one had without worry or concern- one had while feeling safe. He smiled sleepily at you, speaking mumbled words only your ears could catch.

"You did stay.." Drifting off before anything else could be said.

© feelingdozy 2024, do not repost, modify, republish or duplicate any of my works

[shima-draws]

It’s official: I can no longer draw

[nonclassyparty]

The First Love ( J.YH)

Part one of the Subtle Variations of Heartbreak series

summary: a retelling of the first heartbreak that you experience by the hand of the boy next door.

warnings: mentions of smut, angst, cursing

wc: 12k

taglist: @itbtoblikethatsometimes​ , @alecanal93​

You fall in love with the boy next door.

His name is Yunho and you've known him since you were six years old when his family moved into the two story house right next to yours. From the very start he had peaked your interest simply because he was the first six year old on the block besides you and you were excited to finally have a friend your age to play with instead of running behind all the older kids.

For the first week while the new family settled in, you would spend an abnormal amount of time in your backyard, playing on the swing your uncle set up for you, hoping the boy would notice you and approach you first. It took another two days for a six year old Yunho to peak out of his house and near the fence separating his backyard from yours. Finally, you introduced yourselves with red cheeks and shy smiles.

Being Yunho's friend came easily. It was like you were two missing pieces of a puzzle, forming picture perfect childhood memories of innocence and laughter.

When you would be annoyed that he would rather play with his soldier action figures instead of house with you; Yunho would put all his effort into making a fort for your Barbie dolls which the soldiers would protect.

He once almost broke your nose while playing football in his backyard. You were supposed to be the goalie, standing in front of the mini goal his dad has placed in the corner of the backyard near the bushes but you didn't really expect Yunho to have such a strong kick. The ball came flying straight to your face, at such speed you couldn't even blink before you were knocked off of your feet.

You remember wailing so loud with blood dripping from your nose, your shorts covered in grass stains and head pounding. Yunho's mom ran out of the house towards you with a gasp as her son stood in the other corner of the backyard watching his mom pick you up from the ground and console you. He seemed scared of the repercussions but also extremely sorry that he hurt you.

As he stared at you sitting on the wooden table in his backyard as his mom wiped the blood away from your face, Yunho realized that you really were a girl.

Not because you sucked at football but because if he hit his boy friends like that, they would simply stand up and kick the ball twice as hard back at him. Heck, they'd probably be fascinated by the blood dripping from their nose because boys were gross.

He realized how fragile you actually were. Even at the tender age of seven he noticed that you bruise easily and were too clumsy for your own good. It made him want to protect you.

You were joined to the hip with Yunho for those next couple of years. You were in the same grade in school, you would ride the bus together, you would sit together in class and you would do your art projects together in your dining room. He was your best friend, you were sure of it.

Nobody else knew that you had a stash of candies in the bottom drawer of your dresser and nobody else defended you against the other boys who made fun of your braces when you were eleven; except for Yunho.

Nobody else knew that he would leave his bedside lamp switched on purposely because he was scared of the dark and how the scar on his left hand was from when he broke his mom's favourite vase and one of the shards of ceramics cut his hand as he tried to clumsily clean up the mess before she got home. Nobody except you.

Yunho and you were best friends. He was the person you ran to when you had a problem with which your mom couldn't help, the person you play catch with through the windows of your bedrooms which faced each other. You were sure you would be best friends for life because what could possibly happen to ruin the bond you shared with the boy next door?

You might've been a little bit too optimistic but you really couldn't have predicted the horrors of puberty.

When you woke up to blood on your underwear and horror on your face as your mom sat with you on your freshly changed sheets explaining what was happening with your body at the age of thirteen. When the first zits appeared, when even your hair texture became different, when you became too sensitive regarding your body and Yunho's teasing comments would sometimes hurt you and you couldn't understand why because they never did before.

You were changing, Yunho was changing and without even being aware of it; your relationship with him was changing as well.

He started hanging out with the boys from his football team more, opting to spend time with them in the center of the cafeteria instead of your usual spot outside that overlooks the whole quad. He'd invite them over to his house nearly every weekend and they would play video games or practice in his backyard.

You spent your time with the girls from the dance team, exploring make up that you had taken from your mom's make up pouch and reading the newest issue of some teen magazine. Sometimes you would discuss boys which was always the most fun part of it all.

You would still sometimes hang out with Yunho but it was becoming rare and soon it ceased to exist at all. You hadn't even noticed when or how you went from best friends to friends to neighbours because it was so subtle and slow but sudden enough for your mom to notice his absence around the house.

It's not like you guys fought or anything, you were still on speaking terms. You would say hi to each other as you left your house in the morning on the way to the bus stop and you would greet each other if you saw him in the hallways or shared a class with him.

Over time, you just drifted apart it seemed. You think how it was ridiculous to think that your friendship would last forever because when does anything last forever?

By the time you entered high school, it was like Yunho was never your best friend at all. You barely saw him around the neighbourhood and in school he would still greet you but it was more like an obligation, out of the kindness of his heart, not because he actually wanted to. Things weren't any different for you either at the time, you had a life of your own and everything that didn't involve your favorite boyband or your current crush just simply wasn't worth much time.

You ran in different crowds at school and your parents have long stopped trying to meddle and mend your broken friendship. You never viewed it as broken in the first place, to you it just seemed faded.

Nobody keeps the same friends they meet at the age of six to the end of time. No matter how much you force it and try to push it, you simply outgrow each other and that is okay. The world can't blame you for not having the same mindset and feelings you had when you were a mere child.

You didn't miss Yunho and you doubted he missed you. You barely even thought about him for a particular period of time, too busy trying to adjust to finishing middle school and starting high school, meeting new people, focusing on your studies and the dance team.

Yunho was doing his own thing as well, albeit slightly better than you. He joined the football team and quickly excelled, his talents gaining him quite the reputation around school. He had a bunch of new friends who listened to whatever he said with bated breaths and he finally got rid of the God awful bowl cut he's been sporting for the past thirteen years.

Sometimes he would come over to dinner with his parents and it would be some of the most awkward three hours you could recall experiencing and you couldn't for the life of you put a finger on what was the problem.

You weren't angry at each other, you didn't hurt each other, you simply stopped being close to each other. So why couldn't you look him in the eyes? Why would he get shy passing you the bowl with the mashed potatoes? And why would half of the time you sit in your bedroom, side by side while your parents have coffee downstairs pass by in an uncomfortable silence?

You had no idea that someone you spent a big portion of your childhood with could be a stranger now, no matter if you stopped being friends or not.

He replaced his soldier action figures for a football and inappropriate magazines stashed under his bed and you replaced the Barbie dollhouse with posters of boy group members and ribbons and somewhere along the line, you realized how you had absolutely nothing in common with the boy sitting next to you anymore.

By the sixth dinner, Yunho stopped accompanying his parents to your place and you felt yourself finally breathe during the visits. Letting your shoulders relax at the thought of not having to go through another suffocating dinner with him across from you and the expectations of your parents to be the friends you were when you were six.

The real problem with Jeong Yunho began after the summer before your junior year of high school when he came back from football camp he was in for the last two and a half months.

You were hanging clothes fresh out of the washing machine onto the drying rack set up in your backyard, the scorching sun hot on your skin as you bent down to retrieve another article of clothes from the laundry basket when a football flew across the fence and onto the grass of your yard, rolling under one of the bushes.

Dropping the shirt you were gripping in your hand back into the basket, you made your way to the bush and stretched your leg under it to retrieve the ball, completely unaware of the watchful eyes that followed your movements.

Picking up the ball and bouncing it a couple of times in your hand before you turned around with the intention to throw it back across the yard it came from, you jumped when you caught sight of the boy standing on the other side of the fence.

"Hey." Holy moly.

Now, growing up with Yunho, you always thought he was cute. Cute eyes, cute cheeks, cute smile and cute laugh and the fact that he was nice and your friend made him even cuter.

When you heard of all the girls fawning over him after you started high school, you didn't really get the appeal. He was lanky and it seemed like his arms and legs were too long on him sometimes, plus he had that terrible haircut. He was still cute but you couldn't ever imagine seeing him in the same light as the other girls from school.

It must've been from the summer heat hitting your head because you swore at that moment that you were wrong. Because Jeong Yunho looked...different.

He was taller. Much taller then you remember him being at the end of sophmore year. He was broader as well, a T-shirt stretching across his toned chest and hugging his biceps that almost made your head spin. He grew into his body and boy, did camp do him well.

Maybe it was because you haven't seen him in awhile but you swore he never looked like this before. The baby fat on his face was long gone. His lips seemed fuller and so naturally pink that it was almost unreal. His black hair fell across his forehead in soft waves, his dark eyes peeking under it.

His expecting gaze was what snapped you out of whatever daze he caught you in and you remembered that he greeted you while you stood in front of him, gaping like a fish out of water because fuck, Yunho was hot.

"H-hey." You responded back, licking your lips that went dry at the sight of him. When you caught sight of the grin pulling on his lips, you quickly brought your gaze away from him looking around until it fell on the ball in your hands. "Oh, here!"

You neared the fence, handing the ball over to him. His fingers brushed yours as he took it from you and you quickly retreated your hands back to your sides.

"Thanks." You noticed how even his voice changed, it was deeper, gruffer but carried something honey-like that made it incredibly pleasant to the ear.

"Yeah, nothing." You awkwardly laughed, blaming your red cheeks on the summer heat entirely. You turned to head towards the drying rack again, the clean laundry in the basket getting completely forgotten because of the boy next door.

"What's up? How was your summer?" You turned towards him again, trying not to look too surprised that he was actually trying to hold a conversation.

"It was...fine. Nothing special." You responded with a sigh, gesturing to your task at hand and implying that you basically were lounging around the community pools and doing errands for your mom the whole summer. "Just hanging out. You?"

"I was at camp. It was fun, wasn't really used to being away from home for so long." Yunho responded with a chuckle, scratching his neck. The ball now sitting against his side, supported by his arm.

"Cool. Uh, I gotta go finish with the laundry before my mom kills me." You gestured to the full basket laying on the grass, he nodded with another smile that never looked as sweet to you as it did in that moment. What was happening?

"Okay. I gotta go back inside, as well." He said, "See you around."

"See you." You responded and he was gone while you were left wondering what the fuck was that.

During the entire time you spent organizing the laundry on the rack, you kept replaying the moment with Yunho in your head. A part of you was scolding yourself for the blush on your cheeks because this was Yunho but another part was reveling in the butterflies in your stomach that seemed to be going berserk ever since you had seen him because this was Yunho and you were trying so hard not to let a grin crawl to your lips.

You glanced towards the direction of his house again, noticing how the curtains on his window were pulled shut completely and with a quick headshake you went into your own house.

The image of his tall, athletic build and sweet smile weighing on your mind for the rest of the day, you thought you were experiencing a heatstroke.

But when the heatstroke carried on to the first week of junior year where, by some stroke of luck, you had almost every class with Yunho and all you could do was sit in your seat and think about how soft his hair looked and how big he has gotten and just how pretty his hands were, you realized it wasn't a heatstroke. It was a crush.

A crush you didn't know how to handle because suddenly, Yunho was everywhere. You would see him in the hallways, leaning against his locker. You would see him in class, a pen dangling off of his fingers. You would see him at home, kicking a ball around his yard or hanging outside with his friends.

After going so long without thinking about him or seeing him all that much, suddenly he was occupying your every thought. Not letting you have a moment of peace even in the confines of your own bedroom where all you could think about was him as you hear his laughter from the backyard when he hung out with the rest of the guys; Yunho was everywhere.

You were sprawled across your bed, eyes skimming over the pages of the book in front of you as you enjoyed the gusts of cool air that came from the fan positioned in the corner of your room. Your mom was at a friend's house for dinner, so you enjoyed having the house to yourself to the fullest as you popped another jellybean into your mouth, returning your gaze to the book.

A buzzing of your phone was what caught your attention and you stretched to your nightstand with a groan, grabbing your phone. You froze a little in surprise when you saw Yunho's name on your screen. As a force of habit, you looked through your window which faced his own and sat up when you noticed him with his head out the window, smiling at you as if he was waiting for you to notice him.

With a confused expression, you looked down to the screen of your phone again, opening his message.

Yunho: roof?

You couldn't even hide the smile pulling on your lips as you looked up through the window again, he hasn't moved from his previous position, his smile only growing wider at your own.

You quickly jumped from your bed, pulling on an old hoodie over your T-shirt because it was nearing October and the nights weren't as warm anymore. You stopped in your tracks and turned towards your dresser, opening the last drawer and pulling out a bag of gummy candies all while grabbing the opened pack of jellybeans on your bed and stuffing both in the pockets of your hoodie.

You ran downstairs and out of the door to your next door neighbours.

When you were around eleven or twelve, Yunho and you had a little tradition of hanging out on his rooftop when either of your parents weren't home. It would've been dangerous if the Jeongs didn't have a neat staircase leading up to the roof and a little open space of concrete which was unused but perfect for the two of you. You would sneak up with your candies and snacks to share and just sit there for hours, talking. Doing something you know you're not allowed was always fun and made you feel like a grown up but that time, you felt nostalgic.

Yunho was already waiting with the front door open and that sweet smile intact, dressed similarly like yourself in a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie.

"Come on." He chuckled, nodding towards the upstairs and you followed without hesitation with your hands in your pockets and a small smile on your face.

"Wow, your house hasn't changed a bit." You noted, looking around as you climbed up. The roof entrance was already opened when you got up to the second floor.

"Nah, my parents are way too lazy to re-decorate." Yunho said, climbing up the small staircase leading to the roof and you quickly followed after him.

"It's still nice." You said letting out a breath as you finally reached the rooftop. You were caught of guard by the view, "Woah."

When you were little, you never paid full attention to your surroundings because you would've definitely remembered the beautiful view the rooftop of his house provided you with. You could probably see the entire town from here and it seemed like you came out at the perfect time, the sun was setting and you were graced by a breathtaking view of colors meshing together. It almost looked like a painting.

"Come on, Squirt, sit down. I got something for us." Yunho quips from his spot in front of you, already sitting down on a big piece of cardboard on the concrete.

"You got what?" You question, sitting down next to him criss-cross applesauce, your knee touching his thigh.

Yunho smirked at you, pulling a rolled up blunt out of the pocket of his black hoodie. You gasped, your eyebrows almost disappearing into your hairline from the sheer surprise because you never expected Yunho to be smoking weed. Something about that made him all the more attractive.

"Is that-?" You questioned not finishing your sentence. Yunho let out a small laugh that went straight to your heart as he nodded.

"You ever tried it?" You only shook your head in response, staring at the blunt dangling from his pretty fingers.

"Do you want to? You don't have to." He clarified quickly, his grin dropping a little to let you know he completely meant it. "San gave me one last night and I didn't want to smoke it alone."

Something about that made you a little sad. He didn't invite you to the rooftop because he wanted to hang out with you, he just didn't want to smoke alone? You quickly suppressed the disappointment that blossomed in your chest, reminding yourself that you and Yunho weren't exactly friends anymore.

"No, I want to." You responded back and his grin was back on like clockwork. "But..."

"But what?" He asked, grin dropping again in an almost concerned expression and you sighed fishing through the front pocket of your hoodie.

"Now I feel kinda stupid bringing these with me..." You explained, pulling out the gummy candies and jellybeans that were stashed in the pocket and throwing them on the cardboard.

Yunho let out a laugh at that and you pouted, feeling incredibly childish.

"That's perfect actually, we'll need those for later." He chuckled, placing the blunt between his pink lips and lighting it up. His lighter had a little ice cream cone on it and you bit your lip to stop yourself from smiling. You watched him inhale the smoke and you scrunched up your nose a little at the unfamiliar smell.

He exhaled the smoke out of his lungs with a satisfied sigh and you watched it dissipate into the air. You looked at him insecurely, not knowing what to do when he handed the lit up blunt towards you.

"I'll show you." He assured with kind eyes and you grabbed the blunt from his hand, his fingertips brushing against yours.

"Okay. So, take a drag and hold it for a second. You gotta let the smoke go into your lungs otherwise you're just wasting good weed. So, just relax and take a drag, stop overthinking it!" He playfully scolded when he noticed your worried expression. "No-one is allowed to look that stressed while trying to smoke weed, just relax."

But it was easy for Yunho to say that. Yunho didn't have a crush on the boy sitting next to him who was currently teaching him how to smoke weed for the first time. He didn't have the need to impress anyone here.

"Okay." You sighed and with shaky hands brought the blunt between your lips, taking a drag.

You held your breath for a second, letting the smoke fill up your lungs just like he told you as you looked at him in question. He only watched with a small smile, paying attention to when you start choking. And as expected, it didn't take you much because at the first exhale you ended up a coughing mess, holding the blunt at an arms length as you coughed.

Yunho laughed a little, gently patting your back as you coughed. When you came back to your senses, you brought the blunt near your mouth again but not before looking at Yunho again.

"I'll try again." You clarified with wide, watery eyes from the coughing as you placed the blunt between your lips again.

"Okay." Yunho nodded with a surprised but still incredibly amused smile as he watched you take a drag.

The second drag was easier to digest, still slightly clumsy and you ended up coughing a bit more but you managed to exhale the smoke without bigger problems.

"Hm."

"Good?" Yunho asked, amusement dancing in his eyes. His smile seemed to be permanently etched onto his face.

"I don't feel any different." You said with a pout and he let out a laugh again.

"You have to wait for it to hit, Squirt." He explained, carefully grabbing the blunt from your hold and bringing it to his lips, taking a drag.

You blushed at the old nickname. You used to hate it when he would call you that just because he was a mere three months older than you but at that moment, you kind of enjoyed it.

It took approximately ten minutes for the effects of the weed to kick in and the more you inhaled the lighter your head got, the worries dissipating from your mind and all that was left was Yunho. Handsome Yunho with his dark eyes and sweet smile.

"So..." Yunho exhaled another cloud of smoke, crushing the bud of the blunt against the concrete and rubbing his hands together to get rid of any remnants of the ash off of them, "What have you been up to? It feels like ages since we last talked."

It's because it has been ages, you wanted to say but even in your intoxicated state you knew better than that.

"Honestly, nothing special. I'm either busy with school or the dance team and I sometimes hang out with Nari and Yeeun. That's about it." You explained, yawning a little. "My mom has a better social life than me."

Yunho chuckled a bit at that.

"What about you?" You asked softly, turning to look at him only to catch him already looking at you. He diverts his gaze to the view instead.

"Not much different that you, school and football. Although, I go out a bit more than you do." Yunho teased, nudging her with his shoulder.

"Oh, whatever." You said with a scowl. "I don't feel like I'm missing out on much, anyways."

"Yeah, you aren't. The parties are lame like 80% of the time." Yunho adds, closing his eyes briefly to enjoy the breeze.

"What about the other 20%?" You ponder out loud, grabbing the opened bag of jellybeans and popping one in your mouth.

"The 20% is when it's fun because you're making out with someone." Yunho says with a smirk that turns into a full blown grin quickly as you let out a squeal.

"Gross!" You whine, hoping he doesn't notice the sudden redness to your cheeks. Yunho laughs at your reaction.

"Why? It's normal!" He exclaims with another small laugh as you roll your eyes.

"It can't be that much fun." You grumble and he furrows his eyebrows, turning to look at you.

"How come? Didn't you ever kiss someone?" Yunho questions, his interest suddenly peaked as he turned to you completely on the cardboard, his long legs criss-crossed. You squirm at the sudden attention.

"I did...but it wasn't anything special."

Your first kiss was with a boy you had a crush on in sophmore year, he was from a school in the next district and you met him at a dance competition. Everything that led up to the kiss in terms of the exchanged messages and meet ups during tryouts was cute and made you giddy and excited but the kiss in itself was horrible. He used too much tongue and grasped your face uncomfortably tight and the second his tongue met yours (which you didn't have to wait long for, to your sadness), his hand started trailing up your skirt and that was when you just pulled away and ran after giving a poor excuse. You ignored all of his messages right after that.

"Maybe he just didn't do it right."

"What?" Your head snapped to Yunho in almost a daze, the weed making you think what he said was just some weird hallucination. A fever dream.

"Maybe he just didn't know how to kiss you." He said quietly, his eyes trailing from the arch of your eyebrows over your eyes, the slope of your nose and finally to your lips before quickly going back to your eyes. You blushed at the serious expression on his face, looking away and clearing your throat.

You were outside but suddenly, you felt like there wasn't much air around you two instead it was replaced by something heavier. Something that made your blood boil under the surface of your skin, leaving you feeling way too hot for an autumn evening. Something so obvious and common but still unknown to you and never having experienced it before you had no idea what it really was.

"Whatever." You chuckled awkwardly, feeling so shy all of a sudden as you clutched the bag of jellybeans and started throwing them into your mouth.

Yunho stayed quiet for a second but you could feel his eyes on you which only made you even more reluctant to bring your gaze away from the bag of candies in your hand. After another beat of silence, he sighed and reached over you for the unopened bag of gummy candies, his arm brushing your shoulder in the process.

"You shouldn't worry about it too much, I'm sure there's someone out there who's going to kiss you right."

It was almost weird how easily you fell back into the same rhythm with Yunho, it was like the last couple of years of awkward greetings and uncomfortable family dinners never happened and you just started from where you left off except...

Being Yunho's friend wasn't as easy this time as it was when you were six. The ten years of difference certainly meant something because this time, along with being Yunho's friend, you were also in love with him.

You didn't know when you stopped labeling the feelings you had for him as a crush and when it turned to 'being in love with him'. It wasn't an overnight change but somewhere in the middle of spending lunch with him under the old oak tree near the entrance of the high school yard and going to the mall on the weekends to pick up new CDs for yourself, you fell in love with him.

Nobody could blame you. Yunho was a lot to fall in love with. From his easygoing personality to the ability to pick up and remember the smallest details about you to the fact that he was just so fucking sweet. How could you possibly not fall in love with him?

You sometimes wondered if he could tell. You thought you hid it pretty well, you're usually excellent with controlling your emotions, your red cheeks being the only thing to give you away at times but there's nothing you could do about those. Still, with his ability to notice everything, you often wondered if he noticed how you would get shy when he'd hug you in the school hallways or if he noticed how you would stare at him unwaveringly during his football matches or if he would notice just how sulky you would get every party where he would find himself talking to some other girl.

You slumped in the seat you have claimed on the dark green couch of the basement where a typical high school party was held by one of the kids you vaguely knew from school. There wasn't many of you there, no more than twenty to be exact but it was enough to make the basement crowded and stuffy from the smoke that lingered in the air and the cups that littered the coffee table.

Pursuing your lips, you watched from the corner of your eye as Yunho laughed with some girl, her hand grazing his chest as she threw her head back. He dragged you to that party and then was pulled away quickly as soon as you arrived by his other friends and dumped you in San's arms. San sat next to you on the couch, thigh pressing against yours, as he conversed with another guy sitting next to him. He barely spoke a word to you.

You didn't really care because you were not in the mood for small talk either as you tried not to be too obvious in your stares towards the tall boy leaning against the wall with the girl right next to him. She was familiar so you definitely concluded that she went to your school, you may even share a couple of classes with her and she might be a nice girl but the way she was leaning into Yunho's side made you hate her a little bit.

You hated that you were sulking at a party. Ever since you started hanging out with Yunho again, you started going out more and you didn't even mind the parties all that much...when he wasn't with other girls. You were aware that wanting his attention only on you was selfish but you simply couldn't help it.

"Why don't you just tell him?" The whisper against your ear said, snapping you out of the borderline creepy observing as your head turned to San, his nose almost touching yours from the close proximity. You instantly moved your head back a little bit and looked at him in fake confusion, knowing very well that you were caught red handed.

"Tell who what?" You ask quietly, trying your hardest not to seem annoyed at the fact that he might know one of your biggest secrets yet. But how big of a secret can it be if even San figured it out?

"You know who and you know what." The boy responded with a know-it-all smile as he ran a hand through his raven hair which immediately returned back to it's original place. "You're only torturing yourself like this."

"I'm scared." You admitted, "What if he doesn't like me back?"

"Then you'll at least know it, better than thinking you might have a shot for the rest of your life." You threw him a glare, not really comforted by his words and San laughed a little at you.

"He'd be stupid not to like you back." San says after his laughter subsided and his lips settled into a small smile. "Just tell him."

You turned to where Yunho stood, half expecting to see the worst for a teenager with a crush which was his tongue in another girl's mouth, instead your heart skipped a beat when you noticed his eyes were on you.

When your gazes met, he threw you a small smile which you returned with a smile of your own that probably resembled a grimace more than anything. Yunho politely excused himself from the girl and made his way to the couch where you sat.

He was so handsome, dressed in a simple sweatshirt and a pair of black jeans with his hair styled to show off his forehead. At times, you couldn't believe he was your friend. He seemed too good for someone as average as you.

"You wanna go home?" He asked when he sat down on the arm rest right next to you, probably noticing that you weren't in the mood for a party. Still, you didn't want to ruin it for him.

"No, I'm fine." You said with a small close mouthed smile. He wasn't buying it, tilting his head to the side as he stared you down.

"You sure? Because I'm kinda bored as well." Yunho said and you sucked your lips in, contemplating if you should continue pretending that you want to stay in that basement. You opted for the truth in the end.

"Actually..." He grinned at that and it almost made you want to take the words back but you really didn't want to be there anymore. "Yeah, let's go home."

Yunho immediately stood up and you followed after him grabbing your jacket from the hanger next to the stairs, both of you waving San goodbye who watched you leave.

The night air was chilly on your skin, the jacket you had on doing little to protect you from the cold of the early spring nights. You wrapped your arms around your torso to try and warm yourself up as you and Yunho slowly walked down the streets of the neighbourhood you both grew up in.

There was a comfortable silence between the two of you ever since you left the house where the party was held as you walked side by side, your arms brushing on occasion.

"Is everything okay? You seemed like something was bothering you when we were inside." Yunho said not bringing his gaze up from the concreted side walk.

"Just wasn't in the mood." You muttered, suddenly remembering the girl and how close she was to him. How pretty she was and how good they looked standing next to each other.

"And why's that?" He asked, you were too busy trying to walk in a straight line while you sulked to notice the small mischievous grin that was starting to form on his face as he watched you.

"Just because, Yunho." You huffed, rolling your eyes at his persistence. Can't he take a hint, you thought.

You gasped in surprise, stumbling mid step when you bumped into his chest after he quickly stepped right into your line of vision.

"Tell me why." Yunho all but whined, gripping the sleeve of your jacket and pulling on it like a child.

"Wh-" You took a step back, not used to the sudden closeness but it seemed like he didn't mind it at all as he instantly closed the gap by taking a step forward.

"Tell me why." He whispered and when you looked up you almost got the breath knocked out of you by the intensity of his gaze. His eyes staring right into your own with such a soft tenderness that it left you paralyzed. He urged once again, his hand hesitantly reaching up and resting on your shoulder. "Tell me."

You continued to stare at the boy in front of you; the boy who you have known for a bigger portion of your life, the boy who was your best friend, the boy who you were foolishly in love with.

You were in love with Jeong Yunho and he seemed to know that. He had to know that by now.

"You know why." You replied timidly, the cold air doing absolutely nothing against your red cheeks as you looked down, using the hair that fell over your face as a curtain in hopes of shielding you from his affectionate gaze.

Soon, that wasn't enough and you pulled yourself closer to him, tucking your head under his chin as you buried your face into his sweatshirt, inhaling the clean scent of his laundry detergent.

You didn't understand where you got the bravery to go into his embrace after basically admitting you do have feelings for him, feelings that he might not return, but you just knew that you had to hide. And the only place you could think of, as you stood in the empty street of your small suburban neighbourhood, was tucked below his chin and gripping his sweatshirt.

The faint chuckle that rumbled from his chest caused you to pull yourself into him even more, was he laughing at you?

Yunho pulled you away from him by your shoulders and you finally got the courage to look up at him only to be almost knocked off of your feet by the enormous grin that covered his face. The street lamps did nothing to deter away from his beauty.

"I do know." He said in a low tone. You faintly wondered if you were dreaming when his right hand left it's place from your shoulder and came down to intertwine with your own. "I feel the same."

Were you actually dreaming?

"Y-you do?" Your voice was high pitched from the nerves and your blush tripled as he let out another melodic laugh that caused your insides to swarm with butterflies.

Yunho leaned down, placing a chaste kiss on your forehead before he rested his own forehead against yours and you finally felt yourself process what was going on.

He liked you? He liked you. He liked you.

"I've liked you since I was fourteen years old and we'd have those awkward dinners together with our parents." He admitted with what you guessed was a shy chuckle and you felt like your heart was about to jump out of your chest from the gymnastics it was doing in your ribcage.

"I-" You opened your mouth, pulling away to look at him again.

You truly didn't know what to say to that. You never could've guessed because he never treated you any different. He was always generous with his affections towards you but you assumed he was like that with everyone else as well. Were you just too stupid to notice? You were always a little aloof when it came to recognizing someone's advances but you always thought you knew Yunho enough to differentiate between friendship and flirting at least with him.

When he saw how at loss for words you were, Yunho gave you another sweet smile and tucking a strand of hair behind your ear, he leaned down again. As your noses brushed together and breaths mingled, the same hand came to cup your cheek.

"Can I kiss you?" He whispered and you let out a faint 'yes' nodding your head for more confirmation because you didn't trust your own shaky voice.

The moonlight bounced off of his face one last time before he leaned in and kissed you. Lips tender and soft against yours, moving in sync as he pulled you closer.

Your heart rattled against your chest, goosebumps erupted on your skin as Yunho's hands cupped your jaw. The kiss was more than you had imagined it would be, it was perfect. From the moon casting shadows upon you to his soft breath you felt under your nose. It had been perfect.

You and Yunho spend another three hours sitting on the sidewalk two houses down from your own and wrapped in each other's arms as you spoke to each other in whispers between shared breaths. Fingers adventuring up sides and arms, caressing down legs. It's a little past midnight when he assures you into your house and waves you goodbye. You've never slept sweeter than that night.

You start dating a month after the first kiss, after Yunho takes you out on your third date to the local diner. Between laughing about something stupid that one of the kids did at school and sharing fries and milkshakes, he asks you to be his girlfriend and you say yes.

You think that the time you spend dating Yunho is the happiest you will ever be.

The stress of staying on top of your classes and turning in assignments on time doesn't seem as bad with him by your side, supporting and encouraging you in everything that you do. You go to his every football game, screaming his name at the top of your lungs from the bleachers that he blushes when his teammates tease him because his girlfriend is so in love with him.

He comes to your dance recitals and competitions, giving you a big smooch when you win and an even bigger smooch when you lose, all the girls tell you that you're lucky that you have a guy like him by your side and you can't help but agree.

Your mom tells you that she's happy for you and Yunho, how she sees just how much you two care about each other and it's good to see you out of the weird limbo of constantly staying in your room from back in sophmore year. And she might be happy and glad that her daughter has found the perfect boy to date but she doesn't allow you and Yunho to hang out in your bedroom with the door closed anymore.

You can't exactly blame her because you have discovered that Yunho liked kissing you a little bit too much.

You swat the hand sneaking up your shirt as he breaks into a fit of giggles, burrowing his head in the crook of your neck where he continued to place light kisses. You let out an airy giggle as well.

"Yun, your mom is downstairs." You hiss warningly, despite the fact that you're thoroughly enjoying where this was headed.

His lips trail up your neck, nipping at your jawline before pressing a chaste kiss to the corner of your mouth.

"She won't come upstairs." Yunho responds back and shushes your protests with his lips.

Your lips move together and you throw a hand around your neck as a white flag, laying down on his sheets. Yunho smiles into the kiss, moving the textbooks laying around the two of you out of the way as he climbs on top you. All the apprehension leaves your body as he licks into your mouth and you pull him closer, slotting his body between your legs.

So, yeah. You two kiss a lot and study a lot less when you're in his bedroom which is why during exam seasons, you study either in your or his dining room where there are no beds and you can focus on everything else besides his pink lips and pretty, veiny hands.

The first time you take it further than kissing and hands groping under each other's shirts is at the New Year's Eve party during your senior year.

You stumble into one of the empty bedrooms of your friend's house where the party was held with Yunho right behind you, his hand holding yours and quickly turning you towards him and catching your lips in a searing kiss.

You're both kind of tipsy and it doesn't take you long to be a mess of meshed tongues and tangled limbs on the neatly made bed. The kisses are more desperate than usual and the air is hot and as a high schooler who doesn't get a lot of opportunities like these with her boyfriend, you're excited and needy.

Your hands are running through his hair and he is gripping your hips tightly as his bites at your lower lip before pressing his lips fully into yours once again. You kiss him back with equally as much enthusiasm, your head fuzzy from both the alcohol and Yunho.

He pulls away, starting to kiss down your neck and then over your collarbones and downwards until he reaches the sweetheart neckline of the silky, dark green dress you bought especially for this party. His hands running up your legs and slowly bunching the skirt of your dress up towards your hips as his teeth sunk into the naked flesh of your chest that was peeking from under the neckline.

Yunho continued traveling down your body, his lips pressing kisses into your clothed stomach and all you could do was sigh in satisfaction and enjoy the sight of his swollen, pink lips and hooded eyes as he finally reached your hips and his hand came in contact with your panties for the first time...ever.

"Wait, is-is this okay?" He asked, his hands splayed over your hip bones and fingers playing with the waistband of your underwear. You almost melted with the overwhelming affection towards this boy not because he did the bare minimum of asking if what he was doing was okay but because you simply loved him. You loved him.

You nodded with a shy smile, thinking that it was good that you had a couple of drinks before climbing upstairs with him because you wouldn't have the guts to do this while sober no matter how much you wanted it.

The first time he went down on you, it was clumsy and he had no idea what he was doing which was okay because neither did you. Throughout the act, he would ask what felt good and what didn't and you would occasionally reach down and show him with your own fingers how you liked to be touched and he would follow your movements, using the notes he made watching you and applying them with wide, curious eyes.

You felt slightly awkward in the beginning but it slowly melted away because if there was anyone in the world you were comfortable with, it was the boy kneeling in front of you. He didn't try to put on an act like you heard some guys do from your friends, where they would pretend like they're sex experts at the ripe age of seventeen but actually didn't know which hole is the right one.

Yunho was just Yunho even during that, he didn't hide the fact that he was clueless and you liked it.

You did the same when you were returning the favor, when he unzipped his jeans and slid them down to his knees and you saw his dick for the first time you couldn't help but stare. No amount of porn or internet surfing could prepare you for the real thing.

You both bursted into fits of giggles when he snapped you out of the staring contest with his lower region and you wanted to smother him in kisses when you noticed his flushed cheeks and shy eyes. You of course apologized profusely, letting him know that he had the prettiest dick you have ever seen despite both of you knowing that it was the only dick you have ever seen which only made him laugh harder.

The laughter and clumsiness of doing something this intimate for the first time made it all the more enjoyable.

"You can't really go wrong, just stroke it up and down and I'll be done in no time." You busted out in laughter at his words after you had asked him with his dick in your hand on what you were supposed to do and he fell into laughter right after you.

After you were both done, you laid in bed half dressed and talked about anything and everything. The fireworks were still going strong even though it was almost three hours after midnight.

Yunho tells you he loves you that night and he assures you multiple times that it was definitely not because you were the girl who gave him his first blowjob no matter how much you tried to joke about it. You say it back, of course, because you mean it. You loved him with all your heart and at the time, he loved you too.

Your last semester in high school was stressful. Between applying for colleges and trying to achieve the highest GPA you possibly could for the sake of your application and partying with your friends because you are going to say goodbye to a lot of them very soon, you are tired.

Yunho was no better. He had football matches almost every weekend for which he sometimes had to travel to bigger cities and he spent a lot of his extra time getting tutored so he can do his best on the entrance exam but of course, Yunho could never miss a party so he was always with you if you decided to go. He was pushing himself to his limit that semester and it left him exhausted and stressed.

Still, you managed to make time for each other and the fact that you were next door neighbours certainly was a huge advantage. You would go to each other's houses at the end of the week or hang out on his roof if the weather was nice. Despite both of you being extremely thin with your nerves those couple of months left of your senior year, you rarely fought which you always thought was a blessing and if you did fight, it would be about something irrelevant and dumb in the end and one of you would come over after an hour or two when you both cooled off and apologize.

You didn't think you would've been able to survive sometimes if it wasn't for him.

You get accepted into the Seoul National University to study architecture while Yunho gets accepted into Busan National University to study electrical engineering.

You both call each other when you read the acceptance letters and scream and laugh out of happiness into your phones, you were proud of both of you.

"Aren't you worried that you're going to break up?" Nari asks, munching on a piece of lettuce as she turned her gaze to you waiting for an answer.

"What? No." You say confidently, "It's only two and a half hours away. That's nothing."

"Hm, that's true...and you guys are like really close even after a year and something of dating." Your friend nods and you smile at her, "Yeah, I'm sure it's not going to be a problem for you guys."

And you believed her.

The thought of a two and a half hour train ride being the thing that would be keeping you away from Yunho never made you doubt the strength of your relationship. You were positive he was the one for you and you would be damned to break up with your 'the one' for a measly 329 kilometers of distance.

In fact, you were so sure that nothing will change after you finish high school that you never even spoke about it to Yunho. And he never mentioned anything about it to you either which only served as a bigger comfort. He wasn't even thinking about it so you were definitely going to be okay.

Graduation comes and goes. You get your diploma on stage and you and Yunho take pictures with your mom and Yunho's parents. After the event all of you go to a nice dinner and when you're done with the food, you and Yunho sneak away to a party at San's house where you get absolutely hammered from the alcohol.

You walk hand in hand down the deserted streets of your neighbourhood at almost dawn, your heels dangling from your hand.

"We can go to the waterpark next week." Yunho says as you stand in front of the mailbox separating your driveway from his, he swings your hands side to side.

"Yeah, for sure. We can make it like a group thing with San and the guys and Nari and Yeeun."  You respond with a tired smile, fixing his messy hair. His eyes are bloodshot half from the exhaustion and half from the substances you both took a couple of hours prior.

"Sounds like a plan." He quips and leans in for a kiss to which you happily oblige.

"Goodnight." You pull away and start heading towards your front door.

"Night."

Everything was working out perfectly and you were so happy.

Summertime was always your favourite season because you had the chance to do absolutely anything you wanted which was nothing at all. There was no school, no responsibilities and no worries. Just you, a nice bathing suite and a pool. You'd hang out with your mom in the backyard, help her dye her hair or just sit with a cool drink and gossip.

Summers with Yunho were especially fun because he hated doing nothing and he hated wasting time around even more. Like the summer before senior year and the first summer you've spent together as a couple, almost every other day there was some new activity you were up to from going to the local pool, to driving to the waterpark, to going to the aquarium. If you weren't doing that, he'd at least drag you out of the house for a bike ride near the time the sun disappeared under the horizon or just going out for ice cream to the local parlor when the night fell.

On one occasion at the beginning of that summer, Yunho's dad allowed him to borrow his car and Yunho and you drove up to the old ruins of your town, parking in a secluded little spot which overlooked the entire town.

You were dating Yunho for a year and a half and since having sex in the back of a car is like a rite of passage for teenagers, you both lost your virginities to each other that night.

The teen movies and books you've read made it seem like it would be something that earthshattering and you would wake up feeling a completely different person and after you were done you realized that it was all bullshit.

In reality; losing your virginity was painful, a little awkward and over in two minutes.

But you still wouldn't change a thing about it because in those couple of minutes of seeing each other fully naked and exploring your bodies to the fullest for the first time, you fall in love with Jeong Yunho even more.

He makes you laugh through the tears and pain, trying to soothe you in the best way he knew how all while experiencing sex for the first time himself. You giggle and kiss his forehead after he quickly finishes inside the condom and begins profusely apologizing which you find endearing to no end.

As you smile and softly kiss each other, your limbs tangled uncomfortably in the cramped space of the backseat you learn that this has to be it; this has to be what the books talked about and what love making is because you didn't care that you didn't cum or that it hurt, you still enjoyed it because it was with him and it was so fucking sweet.

After that something shifts between the two of you; something more touchy, intimate and lighter. Neither of you can keep your hands to yourselves when you're around each other that even your friends get sick of you.

You spend that summer in complete and utter bliss. From trying to spend as much time with your mom before you went off to college, running around town with Nari and Yeeun during the day and spending the summer evenings hanging out together with Yunho and his friends.

The two of you were close to inseparable that summer, if you weren't at his house you were over at yours. Watching movies in your bedroom, cooking and messing up your mom's kitchen, hanging out in the backyard, spending the entire day at the local pools and having lots and lots of sex.

You were never that happy before and you never saw it coming either.

Ten days before you were supposed to leave for college Yunho comes over to your house.

"Hey, come in." You say opening the door wider for him to step in.

"Actually, let's go for a walk. It's nice outside now." He says with a smile that doesn't reach his eyes and you should've known right there, that everything was about to go to shit.

"Oh, sure. Let me just go tell mom." He nodded and you turned around, jogging through the house to the backdoor. After informing your mom that you were leaving you skip through the front door, beaming at your boyfriend who smiled back at you.

Yunho was right, that was a lovely evening for a walk. It wasn't as humid as it usually was, in fact it was almost kind of chilly outside and reveled in the slightest drop of temperature after almost three months of scorching heat.

You noticed how Yunho was unusually quiet as you walked down the streets of your neighbourhood, he looked deep in thought not bringing his eyes off of the sidewalk as he walked and you started growing slightly concerned. He always had something to say, something to talk about especially with you.

"Is everything ok-"

"Let's head to the park." He interrupts you, pointing to the park which was just outside the suburbs you grew up in. You rarely ever spent any time there but still, you nodded, not really caring where you both were headed.

"Are you all packed for college?" You ask, waving to the group of kids playing on the front lawn of one of your neighbours houses.

"Uh, yeah. Almost." Yunho responds with a small smile, kicking a pebble from the sidewalk. "I'm leaving a bit earlier."

"Wait, what?" You almost stop in your tracks but he doesn't look back instead just keeps walking ahead of you and you're forced to follow.

"Yeah, like orientation or whatever. It got moved up to an earlier date."

"So...when are you leaving?" You question with furrowed brows. Why didn't he tell you sooner?

"In five days."

"Oh, okay." You say not knowing what to respond otherwise. It's not like you can do anything about his schedule. You're a little disappointed that he hadn't told you sooner but maybe they let the freshman know about the change in schedule a little late that year.

You feel relieved because you think that's why he was so closed off when he came to pick you up. If he thought you were going to be upset that he had to leave earlier, you weren't. You understood.

"Did you get that new jacket you were telling me about?" He asks as you both enter the park and you give him a look at the sudden change of subject but still respond.

"Uh, no. It's too expensive, I might not even need it since my old one is still good."

"You should get it. It's warm and of good quality, I heard it gets extra cold in Seoul during the winter."  Yunho sits down on one of the swings and you sit right next to him on the other one. Immediately, kicking your feet against the ground slightly to start swinging.

"Okay?" You laugh almost awkwardly and it's so fucking weird and unfamiliar to be doing it when you're in Yunho's company. "I'll think about it, I don't know."

He only nods at your response and a moment of silence sets in. You start thinking that the movement of the orientation date wasn't the only thing bothering him. You watch as he sits on the swing not moving from it, instead opts to stare at the sand below his feet with an empty gaze.

The more you stare, the more you notice the dark circles under his eyes and the look of pure exhaustion on his face. He wasn't like this the day before.

The day before you were hanging out over at your place since your mom was gone for work the entire day. You finished the last episode of a TV show you both liked, ordered a pizza and you even had sex for the first time in your bedroom.

It was the best sex you've had with him actually. Deeply passionate and torturously good that it left tears stains on your cheeks from the orgasm that made you almost see the stars. And what came after it was even better, just you and Yunho laying in bed and talking about nothing and everything all at once. It was a great day so what could have possibly happened in the span of the not even twenty hours you were apart to make him so detached and guarded.

"I need to tell you something." It was like he could read your mind and you snapped your head towards him, intently hanging onto every word he said.

"Okay, what is it?"

When he says the next words you almost believe you misheard him. You almost believe you were in the middle of a heatstroke and that the sun hit you a little bit too hard today. You almost believe he's pulling a prank on you but you know he would never joke about that.

"I think we should break up."

You stare at him as he stares at his feet, his sneakers digging into the sand below you. As the words process in your head you don't move your eyes away from his hunched form on the swing, instead you wait for a follow up of 'I'm kidding!' or at least a bit more of a fucking explanation.

"You-...what?" You ask quietly, completely lost on what was happening at the moment. Yunho keeps quiet, his lower lip caught between his teeth and he still refused to fucking look at you. "Did you just say we should bre-"

"I think we should break up." This time the words came out with more determination. It was as if he said them with hesitation the first time and he was completely sure of them the second. He turns his head towards you, a serious expression on his face and it finally starts sinking in, he wasn't playing around.

"Yunho, why? Did I do something?" You try to backtrack the last couple of days with him, trying to remember if you said something that might've hurt him so you can apologize for it but all you could remember where the two of you having a good time in each other's company. You rarely even bickered since the summer started, that's how good you got along.

"No, you didn't do anything." His usually bright eyes were missing it's crinkles and instead seemed sad and apologetic. "I just think we should break up."

"You think- Can you give me a fucking reason?" You remember the panic that started clawing it's way up your throat and it was evident by the way you were progressively starting to get more worked up. You could always read him fairly well but now when you needed it the most, he was a closed book.

His eyes went shut for a split second as he took a deep sigh, running a hand through his black hair.

"We're going to different universities, in different cities and I just..." He pressed his lips in a line, not continuing so you did it for him.

"You think we should break up because of distance?" You question, "It's only two and a half hours by train, that's nothing."

"It's not nothing." Yunho responds quickly, as if he was annoyed that you were reducing the 329 kilometers from Seoul to Busan to nothing. "It's a big deal. We won't be around each other as much, anymore. We won't see each other every day and we'll get too busy with our lives to keep up with each other."

"That's not true! We can FaceTime and text each other and I can come visit over the weekends and-"

"I don't want to do long distance with anyone." Not even you.

"You don't even want to try? You don't even want to give us a chance before you give up?" You ask, trying desperately to keep the tears lining your lower lash line at bay.

"Because I can already see how it will end!" He rarely ever called you by your full name in the last two years, it was almost always some dumb nickname that you pretended to hate but secretly enjoyed.

So when Yunho uttered your name after that sentence, you felt as if you had already lost him. You felt as if he already set his mind to it and there was absolutely nothing you could say to change his mind.

"How will it end?!" You say as equally loud and he lets out a frustrated sigh, his knee starting to bounce.

"It will end with us hurting each other a lot more than we will if we break up now." You're hurting me already, just enough.

"You don't know that, Yunho!" You're crying, small sniffles and tears blurring your vision and he does absolutely nothing to console you.

"Look, you're my best friend and I love you but we wouldn't survive." His smile almost seemed as if he was pitying you. "You will meet new people in Seoul and I'll meet new people in Busan, how can you be so sure that you won't end up finding someone new to fall in love with there? Or someone who you're at least attracted to?"

"Because I fucking love you!" You respond frantically, gripping the chains of the swing as if they were your life line. "Is that what this is about? You want to see other people?"

"No!" He said almost as if your assumption was ridiculous, "I'm just saying how can you be so sure that you won't meet someone in Seoul who you will eventually get to know a lot better and realize that they might suit you more than me? How can you be so sure that I'm the only person out there for you?" His words go from one ear through the other, you don't want to hear out why he wants to break up. You don't want to break up.

"C-can we please not do this? Can we t-talk about this so-"

"I love you. That's why if that ever happens, I don't want either of us to find ourselves in a position where we start lying to each other about our feelings just to spare one another. I don't want us to start feeling like we're stuck with each other because we've been together since forever, it would only lead to resenting one another and I don't want that!"

You simply stare at him with parted lips, tear after tear rolling down your cheeks and at a complete loss of words.

You realize the orientation date wasn't moved up, it was a lie so he could escape quicker after he broke things off with you.

"We grew up in a small place and we've known each other since we were six. Aren't you curious about all the people in Seoul you're about to meet that maybe waited a long time to meet someone like you?"

"Wh-"

"We've been in our own little bubble ever since I can remember. Even when we didn't hang out in middle school and then when we became friends again and eventually started dating, you're all I've ever known."

"And what's wrong with that?" You question through a sob and he pulls his gaze away from you almost as if he was burned. He always hated seeing you cry.

"We depend on each other too much and it's not healthy. Now, we're entering a stage in our lives where we get to explore and learn about ourselves away from our parents and all we're used to and I want both of us to make the most of it. I want you to meet new people, new friends, new guys and I want you to go out and do stupid shit because you can! And I want to do the same!"

You hated how calm he was. You hated how you seemed to be the only one in pain right now. You hated how his words made sense although you didn't want them to. You hated how he was eighteen years old but always too wise for his own age. You hated all of it.

"Yunho, don't do this." You felt like a petulant child getting told no and getting scolded for asking stupid questions with obvious answers. You hated that you couldn't even speak properly from the tears clouding your eyes and choking down on your words from the hiccups.

"I'm sorry but it's for the best like this."

"Don't tell me you're sorry, I don't want your apologies! And how can you possibly know what's for the best?!" You doubt he understood half of that sentence because you were crying so hard and no matter how much you tried, you just couldn't get the words out properly.

He sighed one last time, his eyes which you often felt like they carried the stars of the universe had nothing else but sadness and grief in them now. Yunho slowly got back on his feet from the swing and you felt your chest cave in, you felt something deep inside your being ache as you watched him stand in front of you.

"Yunho..." It was all you could say, no matter how pathetic it felt.

"I'm sorry. I hope you get safely to Seoul." He said as he takes his first step back and you feel the tears clogging your senses again.

"Yunho...don't."

Yunho looks at you one last time, as if to memorize the first girl who's heart he broke when he was eighteen years old, and he turns around and leaves. Through tears you watch his back disappear into the distance and you feel as if the world is caving in on you, flipping upside down and swallowing you whole.

As you make your way back home, you notice that Yunho left through the gate on the other side of the park which leads to the town's center and is usually the longer way back home. You know he did it to ensure you could get to your house without running into him despite the fact that it meant he would have to circle around the whole town to get home.

Even after doing what he did, he is nothing but considerate towards you and it almost makes you hate him a little bit. Almost.

Your first heartbreak comes in the form of Jeong Yunho, the boy next door who you give a piece of yourself to. When it ends, you don't know how you will survive and you are sure that you will never love someone else ever again. That heartbreak will try to destroy you and you will wish you were dead.

But you are only eighteen years old and one day you will be whole again, it's just that you're going to have to go through hell to get there.

[panic-at-the-fiction]

Family

Summary: (Y/n) after decades of keeping her distance has finally found herself tangled up with the Mikealsons again. This time in small Mystic Falls. Hopefully she can reunite the family she once knew.

Warnings: cuss words I guess.

A/N: listen I’m sorry I haven’t been active and that this is all I can offer now. It’s just something thats been sitting in my drafts for a while. Don’t even know if I’ll ever finish the rest of this story but I need to post again.

“Damon, stop. Let’s talk about this first,” Elena pouted. They stand, blocking the traffic of people on the sidewalks outside the small store.

“Why? Katherine said this was our best lead to scare Klaus”

“No, she said this was our last result, and you trust her?”

“Of course not, we just need to distract Klaus for a while. Someone else he can be mad at for once, but either way, this might be our best way to get Stefan back. He’s obsessed with finding Klaus’s weakness.”

“Fine, but you should just let me do the talking.”

The inside of the art gallery was filled with local and foreign artworks, but no customers. “Hello?”

A woman with a frustrated look came from around the back. “I’m sorry, but you must have the wrong store, we're closed.”

“Actually we’re searching for someone with information for us. You see, we have this problem back in our hometown.”

“Nope sorry can’t help you. I don’t do favors for sluts.” She said nonchalantly.

“Excuse you!” Elena tries to go after the woman, but Damon holds his arm out to stop her.

“Elena, I got this. Now see here Miss, I’m looking for what my informant calls a “jealous power hungry bitch” who can help us with our original vampire problem.”

“Well, you have a Petrova doppelgänger on your hands, so it sounds like you're covered in that department, so if that will be all.”

“Wait, do you mean Katherine?” Elena questioned.

“Don’t you dare say that bitchs name in my presence,” the woman’s voice was cold and seething with rage this time.

“Hey, hey, it’s all good. We hate her just about more than anybody on this planet. She turned me into a vampire. What’d she do to you?”

“She slept with my husband.”

“Yeah, that'll do it. We hate Kathe… I mean that bitch, and you do too, so will you help us now?”

She mulled it over… “Fine, follow me to the back.” She walked back through the curtain to a room filled with strange artifacts.

“Who are you exactly?”

“My name is (y/n) and you two are?”

“I’m Elena and this is Damon.”

“Yes, but why are you coming to me for help?”

“Klaus Mikaelson, the hybrid, broke his curse, and now he wants to use her blood to create more hybrids. My brother Stefan on the other hand will stop at nothing to bring Klaus down. He’s all bent up on finding this vampire hunter that Klaus fears, but I hear you're pretty scary too. Though you're not what I expected, what, were you a Mikaelson groupie back in the day?”

“I had my encounters with the whole family, but I haven’t spoken to any of them in years. Thanks to the Mikaelsons I haven’t seen my husband in almost 90 years now.”

“I'm so sorry for your loss.”

“Didn’t you say your husband cheated on you? Sounds like they did you a favor.” Elena glared at Damon and slapped his arm.

She turned back toward (y/n), “Ignore him, he doesn’t behave well with others.”

“Big surprise. Let me make sure I understand that you want me to give you information on the Mikaelson?”

“Well no, we were more hoping you would come back with us and distract Klaus. We have a plan, he has these coffins he needs with him, Stefan thinks it’s his siblings, he currently has all of them daggered right now. If we take those, we’ll have some leverage on him but until we find the coffins we need him distracted and scared. We figured you’d be easier to negotiate with than the vampire hunter.”

“Yes, I’d like to think so. Well then I’m in, let me pack my bags, and I’ll tell you what I can on the way.”

Finally, back in mystic falls they arrive at the Salvatore home.

“You can stay here while you deal with Klaus, but we want him to be after you, not us, so keep this on the down low.” The other Salvatore brother joins them in the hallway.

“Uh Damon, who’s this?”

“Stefan this is our new best friend (y/n), she’s our Wikipedia for the mikaelsons.”

“Great, but we don’t need her. I have a plan to steal his coffins, remember.”

“Yes, brother, but we still need all the help we can get, and she’ll keep him busy while we find them.”

“If I can interrupt, I know where he would keep them at. Klaus always likes to keep them at an easily movable location in case he flees town. Basically, I’m saying I doubt he ever unpacked them during his move.”

“Last I saw, he had them on a moving truck.”

“So they’re probably still in that truck.”

Stefan sighed, “fine, maybe she can be of some help, but I told you Damon. This is my fight against Klaus, not yours so stay out of it.”

“We’ll if it helps, I have my score to settle with Klaus. It goes back 90+ years, so I’d like to be included.”

“How?”

“I figured I’d cause some trouble.”

The idiots of this town have been awfully quiet for a few days now. Klaus thought as he walked down the street. Sure, by now the teens of mystic falls were off licking their wounds and sighing in defeat. He turned the corner at the end of the street, waiting for the light to turn green to cross.

“Out for a walk Niklaus?” He jumped slightly at the sound of her voice. “Here I thought you hated any light in your life. You did always find a way to snuff it out.”

“What are you doing here?” His voice quivered slightly.

“I heard you broke your curse and were living all on your own now, so I thought I’d stop by and catch up.”

“You need to leave.”

“But I just started to get to know everyone in town, and they’re all so kind. I think I might stay awhile. I’ve been staying at this lovely boarding house actually and the two brothers are just such a treat to be around. They tell me you're making hybrids now. You’re still chasing after that unconditional family love, aren’t you niklaus?”

“How would you know, you never even had a family that loved you?” He sneered back.

“Don’t project onto me, Klaus, we both know that one's a lie.” He frowned and looked away from her, “I’ll be seeing you soon, Klaus, I have big plans for you.”

Klaus looked back at where she had been standing, but (y/n) had walked off and disappeared.

Damon searched around the house until he walked into the kitchen and found (y/n). “There you are, I've been looking everywhere for you.”

“I was just getting some food, what’s the matter?”

“We have a way to track down the coffins, but we still need you to distract Klaus.”

“Well, what is he after, what is important to him in mystic falls?”

“He wants to make Hybrids, and he needs Elena for that.”

“Then I will use her as bait and taunt him while you guys get his coffins.”

“What? No! We can’t use Elena as bait.”

“Why not? He won’t kill her, he needs her.”

“It’s too dangerous, what if he kills you, then what?”

“Then will do it somewhere where he can’t reach me, a house he isn’t invited into.”

Damon went to continue arguing with her when Stefan walked in. “What’s going on?”

“She wants to use Elena as bait for Klaus.”

“Okay, and what the problem. He won’t kill her as long as he wants Hybrids.”

“Exactly.”

“I say let her.”

“Great, then it’s settled, I'll get ready.” She walked out of the room and up the steps. Stefan went to follow, but Damon grabbed his arm.

“You can’t possibly put Elena in that situation.”

“Of course not, I’m not stupid. I’ll call Katherine, and she’ll take her place. Neither Klaus nor (y/n) will know.”

“If she finds out, she won’t be happy.”

“Like that’s my problem.”

Katherine waited inside the Gilbert house with Jeremy as Damon and (y/n) pulled up to the house. Damon walked inside, but (y/n) waited at the door.

“You know this only works if I’m invited in?”

Jeremy sighed, “Come in. Can we go now, Damon?”

“Yeah, yeah, hold on just one second. Remember (y/n) you're not actually harming Elena, just keep Klaus here.”

“I know, I know. I’ll call him as soon as you leave to get him over here.”

Katherine gave Damon an annoyed look as he left with Jeremy. She paced the room back and forth as (y/n) stared at her.

“You don’t have to be nervous. Klaus won’t get in.”

She tried to put on her best Elena impression, knowing she’d be dead if (y/n) knew who she was. “I know, I'm just worried about Damon and Stefan.”

“They’ll be fine. I’m going to go ahead and call Klaus now, I promise this will all work out just as I planned.” She picked up the phone and dialed his number.

“Hello?”

“Hello niklaus.”

“How did you get this number?”

“I looked you up in the phone book.” She said sarcastically. “Just wanted to let you know I met a friend of yours today. Elena Gilbert, she was kind enough to go ahead and invited me in. I told you I had big plans for you, niklaus. You might want to get over here, though, I’m getting quite thirsty, and I’d hate to waste all her valuable blood.”

She hung up the phone. “He’ll be here soon. Time to put your game face on.” (Y/n) waved her hand and blew the front door wide open. She pushed Katherine into the hall and wrapped her arm around her neck, putting her in a tight choke hold. “Better smile for the camera.”

Klaus finally ran up to the door, seething in anger. “I swear if you spill even a drop of her blood, I will rip you apart myself (y/n).”

“You’d have to get in first, Nik.”

“You of all people know how long I've wanted this! How dare you try to threaten me when I’m this close to creating my own pack.”

“Klaus, you brought this on yourself, and you know it. You’re worse off than when I last saw you, Nik. You’re alone and you always will be.” She twisted her grip on Katherine's neck and snapped it, her body hitting the floor with a loud thud as (y/n) tossed her body into the living room.

Jeremy, Stefan, Alaric, and Damon all worked to move the last two coffins into the basement of the witch house as Elena and Bonnie checked the other three.

“Hey Damon, this one's a lot lighter. I think it’s empty?”

“Well, then who's missing?” Before they could look, his phone began to ring, “It’s Katherine, Hello?”

“Damon! You have to get over here (y/n) gone crazy. She snapped my neck and threw me in another room. She and Klaus are battling it out currently. I think he might tear the house apart.”

“I have to go now! Elena, come with me.”

They pulled up to the house and entered through the back door. (Y/n) was ducking down in the kitchen as Klaus threw things through the front door.

“(Y/n) what the hell did you do?”

She smiled, “I distracted him.”

“You pissed him off, is what you did! And you said no harm would come to Elena!”

“Oh please, you think I couldn’t tell that was Katherine the moment I walked in here. You're lucky I didn’t rip her heart out.”

Elena came around the corner into the kitchen. “Katherine's gone.”

“Good, she finally knows what’s good for her. I’m surprised you even got her in the same house as me.”

Damon huffed and walked out into the hallway with Elena. “Klaus stop! It was Katherine, Elena's fine!”

“That changes nothing! (Y/n) still threaten me and my chances of creating more hybrids, she can not…” he began to scream and clutch his head as he kneeled.

(Y/n) came out from hiding with her hand extended. “Oh Niklaus, you forget, I’m not just some other enemy of yours you can scare.” She squeezed her hand and he screamed louder. “I put Mikael down, remember, even you feared him. Now leave before I show you how.” She dropped her hand, and he stood up and took off. “Alright, so back to the house for tea?

“Was that magic you used back there?” Elena asked everyone sitting in the living room. “I thought you were a vampire?”

“I am, but many many years ago I used to be a witch. When I turned, my mother had the whole coven find ways for me to continue teaching witches our brand of magic. I spent a few hundred years finding ways to practice even a tiny scratch of magic. I can’t use any of my own power, but I can channel some power to scare idiots like him off.”

“So what, you thought you’d just “kill” Elena and then scare him off. If we hadn’t come along, you would be dead.”

“Hey, you asked me to distract him, this is all part of my plan. He hates me, as well as he now thinks I’m not on your side. If I was working for you, I would never have harmed “Elena” now he thinks I did it all on my own.”

“Well then, can you let us in on your master plan next time?”

“Sure, does that make you feel better?” He barely opened his mouth. “Good, I’ll go get us all some drinks then.” (Y/n) smiled and walked up the stairs.

“Did she just walk off?”

Before anyone could respond, there was a loud knock on the door. Stefan and Damon cautiously went to answer it.

They didn’t even have the door all the way open when Elijah pushed it wide open. “I need to speak to my wife.”

“Wait, weren't you daggered?”

“Your wife?”

He walked through the doorway, ignoring the brothers. “Don’t bother stopping me, I've already been invited in, (y/n)!” No response came. “No reason to hide, Klaus told me you were here.”

(Y/n) appeared at the top of the stairs. “I don’t hide, Elijah.”

“Would you please give me a moment alone with my wife?”

“Is wife really an appropriate term? Doesn’t Louisiana have a statute of limitations or something for couples who have been separated? Surely, after 90 years, we aren’t still legally married?” She smiled, but he kept his serious face.

“You two were married?” Elena asked.

“He slept with Katherine?” Damon blurted out.

“Oh do tell them the story Elijah, I’m sure they’d love to hear it.”

“I think it’s best if you give us some privacy now.” The boys shrugged and ushered everyone back to the living room. (Y/n) walked off into the dinning room and began to fiddle with the record player.

“Where are they?”

“Who?”

“You know who.”

“It’s still nice of you to ask.” She turned the music up slightly.

“The rest of my siblings, I swear if you’ve done anything to even a single one of them.”

She turned around, her face hurt. “I would never hurt any of them, you know that.”

“Then why are you here angering Klaus? Helping these fools harm our family?”

“I’m not helping them, I'm helping our family!” Elijah stood silent, shocked. “They’re next result was Mikael, for god's sake. After all I did to put him down, they would have just woken him up and brought him back with no regards to what he would do. I’ve had a plan from the beginning, you just have to listen to me.”

Part two: the electric boogaloo

[anashins]

The Art of Distraction

Title: The Art of Distraction

Pairing: Taeyong x You

Genre: romance, schoollife, smut

Warnings: protected sex, cunnilingus, blowjob, lots of teasing and cursing

Word Count: 5.304

Summary: You have to study for your upcoming math exam, but your boyfriend is bored and has something else in mind instead of letting you pass it.

________

“I’m bored.”

“You wanted to come over, Taeyong, so look for something that will keep you entertained, because I won’t be done anytime soon over here.”

For days, you had been studying for an upcoming exam in the worst subject ever: math.

Ever since the third year of middle school, you started to dislike it, and it hadn’t even taken you a year more from then on to declare it as the subject you were the worst at.

Even now in high school, your liking for math had never increased. Your teacher with his high expectations didn’t make it easier either, and just the mere thought of the upcoming exam on the next day made your stomach turn upside down in fear.

Sometimes, you thought you actually understood the topic when it was being explained on the board, but as soon as the numbers and letters changed, everything didn’t make any sense anymore to you. The questions the teacher asked made you even more confused along with the exercises he gave the students to solve at home. You always wondered why your classmates to your left and right had such an easy time solving everything, whereas you ourself didn’t even understand the question.

You settled with the thought of being a hopeless case, but you were still panicking about how you’d ever pass this exam.

It was the most important, the final one in school. There was no way you could fail it, and you had actually studied more than ever before for a subject. It had been days since you had last left the house, and you only went downstairs to eat dinner and talk with your parents about some things which should distract you, but it certainly didn’t help.

Your mind was a big blur of numbers and letters. You got the feeling that, the more you studied, the more you forgot and the more you made yourself go crazy.

Now, staring at the combinations of different numbers and letters again, you didn’t even get the meaning of the question which was written above the exercise. You ruffled your hair and let out an annoying, frustrating sigh.

What value did you need to search for? How did you even calculate this? What did all of the things you had written in your notebook even mean? It was like everything was slowly being erased from your mind the longer you stared at it.

You shifted in your seat, unable to find a proper, comfortable position which didn’t increase your mood at all. The sound of the pencil rolling over the paper had stopped a long while ago, and since then you had been doing nothing other than staring blankly at the sheet in front of you, not paying attention to the exercise anymore. It was like you just stared at the paper, your thoughts drifting to nowhere.

It was loud music blasting through the room, interrupting the pleasant silence which made you flinch and pulled you out of your thoughts. You almost let your pencil fall, feeling your heart pumping heavily against your chest.

“Taeyong!” you yelled in annoyance and turned around to see your boyfriend playing around with his phone.

He flashed an apologetic look in your direction. “I’m sorry, so sorry! I just stumbled over this funny tik tok video, but the volume was on, wait...”

With a few hand movements, he managed to turn off the volume, the music being broken by silence again.

You shot an angry glare at Taeyong who just shrugged with a grin on his face which was way too sweet to let you be mad at him any longer. Turning around in your seat, you hovered over your papers again, tapping with your pencil against the edge of your desk, the rhythmic noise giving you a little reassurance.

*Klonk*

“Taeyong!”

Once again, you turned around and found him kneeling in front of your nightstand. He had just knocked over the picture frame which showed both of you and now, he put it back on its place, wiping over the glass to make sure that nothing was broken.

He moved his head aside and smiled shyly. “I’m sorry! It was an accident…”

“Can you just… sit down and do nothing for the next few hours? It’s getting on my nerves!”

The glance you gave him was reflecting pure annoyance and anger now. Without even paying any attention to him, you got back to your math sheets, hearing Taeyong placing himself on the bed, rustling the sheets as he laid down.

It was silent again and you inhaled deeply, trying to concentrate yourself. You held the pencil convulsively in your hand, wanting to write something down, but your mind was somehow blocked.

Not by letters and numbers though, but by something immerse and black in your thoughts, preventing you from doing anything productive now. But you needed to, the exam was important, you needed to…

“Am I really getting on your nerves?”

It was Taeyong’s arms slowly wrapping around your shoulders and pulling you into an embrace from behind which broke your thoughts once more. His cheek brushed over your ear, and you could feel his warm breath on your skin as he repeated,

“Am I really that annoying?”

He kissed your earlobe, his hair tickling your neck as he pulled the skin between his lips, slowly nibbling on it.

You didn’t know that you had been holding your breath until you exhaled deeply. This was your sensitive spot. Your very, very sensitive spot. And he knew. You gritted your teeth and just answered,

“Yes, you are!”

But it came out more like a gasp than the strong and commanding answer you actually had in mind.

His kisses went further to your neck, trailing down to your shoulders. He kissed every spot he passed, and it was until he reached the collar of your shirt that you realized you had actually rolled your head back to give him space to go on.

“Doesn’t seem like you’re annoyed by my presence at all,” he whispered, and you could actually see his smug grin in front of your eyes.

That little shit.

Taeyong’s embrace around your shoulders loosened and you breathed out, expecting him to finally back off and go back to whatever he was doing and leaving you alone - but you were absolutely wrong.

Taeyong’s hands wandered down to the hem of your shirt, and it was when he fiddled with the first button that you gasped once again. Slightly dumbfounded, you lowered your head, looking down at your cleavage which was being revealed inch for inch with every button he opened.

Taeyong chuckled beside you and followed your gaze. When you turned your head aside, you could see him smirking.

“Taeyong, that’s…”

You held your breath as he slid his hands down your upper body from behind, parting your shirt to reveal the white lace bra you were wearing. The moment you wanted to open your mouth again, this time to protest in your strongest volume, he had his hands already in your underwear, cupping your breasts as his lips attacked the side of your neck again.

“Oh god,” you breathed, feeling him squeeze your breasts and massaging them as the straps slowly slipped down your shoulders to give his hands more freedom.

You hadn’t let go of the pencil in your fingers until now. Your grip tightened more like you just wanted to hold onto something to get support as Taeyong’s thumbs brushed over each of your peaks, flicking over them and tweaking them between his fingers.

Your legs closed automatically and your body arched, craving for more. He sucked on and nibbled on your neck, teasing your skin with gentle bites and kisses.

“So… I’m really annoying, aren’t I?”

Fuck. His voice sounded meaningful as though he was up to something, and seconds later, one of his hands slid out of your cup just to run towards your navel. He was making his way to the focused area very slowly, teasing you with his skin on yours and causing you to get goosebumps on your stomach. You stared at his hand passing your navel and moving further downwards, the tip of his fingers finding a way under the hem of your pleated skirt.

“No!” you yelled and freed yourself from Taeyong’s embrace.

Your body was heated up from his touches and you still struggled with breathing as you pushed your boyfriend away. You felt him letting go of you by himself and took a deep breath.

Staring at your notebook, you pulled up the straps of your bra and fiddled with the buttons to close your shirt, but with your trembling fingers, it was not easy work. This was not the right time. You had this exam tomorrow and couldn’t be distracted - there were so many things you still needed to learn, there…

“Taeyong!” you scolded again, totally shocked as he shrugged your legs off, spreading them wide apart in front of him.

When you looked down, you found him kneeling in front of you, looking up to you as he licked over his upper lip sinfully.

For a moment, you stared at each other – he, with a lustful gaze and you, with a feared one because you knew, he wouldn’t stop once he began. You shook your head, trying to close your thighs, but Taeyong held them apart with his strong hands so that you’d never have a chance.

“Yongie,” you begged, “Yongie please, I need to learn, I need to…”

You struggled in his grip, but the longer you tried, the more you were assured that this would have a different ending than you had imagined.

“You need a distraction,” he ended your sentence and flipped your skirt back to lower his head on your right thigh.

The pencil fell out of your hand when he licked over the sensitive skin on your inner thigh. He left a wet path as he licked a line, massaging either side of your thighs with his hands to relax and tease you at the same time. Regardless of how much you fought against it, you leaned back in your seat and your hips even bucked against his head, wanting more.

Taeyong hooked your legs over his shoulders so that your swollen sex was open to his upcoming attack, covered only by a single thin layer of panties. His lips were being pressed against your left thigh, kissing forward and approaching your wetness which was hiding behind the fabric.

The closer his kisses came, the shorter your breath got until you stopped for a second when his lips reached the waistband of your panties next to your entrance. Taeyong let his tongue glide along the band, partly along your skin, causing you to bear down a moan by covering your mouth with your hand.

You didn’t want to give in yet. You kept your gaze at your math sheets, but no matter how much you tried to concentrate, Taeyong was quite a dangerous and good distraction. You thought it would help to make him stop if you pretended not to be bothered at all, but on the other hand… that boy was so good.

His hands moved up and down your thighs, his palms brushing over your skin which got intensely hot due to his work. With his index finger, he hooked on the waistband and put the thin layer aside, clamping it with two fingers and revealing your wet folds as he stared at your core lustfully.

“Taeyong!”

It was a scream, replaced by a gasp as he placed his tongue flat on your wetness, applying pressure before he licked up. Finally, after you had tried to resist so hard, you moaned. It was a rather quiet moan, because you still refused to give in to the fullest, but Taeyong knew that it wouldn’t take him much effort anymore to get you where he wanted you. Smug as fuck, he smirked against your skin and placed a kiss on your nub, making your hips jerked-knife off the seat.

“For someone who doesn’t want this, you’re already really wet,” he teased and licked up the juices dripping out of you.

“Shut up!” you returned, but your voice faded away in a moan when Taeyong dipped his tongue into your entrance. “Oh god!”

You closed your eyes and circled your legs around his upper body, bringing him closer to you, because obviously, the tip of his tongue was by far not enough.

Taeyong chuckled and hummed against your skin, causing the vibrations to turn you on even more. You brought both of your hands up to cover your mouth fully and bite down your loud moans like that.

For your boyfriend, it was an amusing view, because he knew you had finally given in. Whimpers escaped your lips as he licked over your entrance again, sliding his tongue along your folds like he was tasting some kind of candy, letting out a delicious groan. He stopped at your nub and you knew, when he began to play on it now, you were totally screwed.

“Ohhh!” you moaned as his tongue flicked over your clit, bucking your hips against him, wanting more and more.

Screw math, screw the exam, screw studying. Just for now.

Taeyong sucked on your clit and rolled it in between his lips. He let you grab his hair as your arousal caused your core to pulse against him. Taking a large breath, he allowed the scent of excitement to wash over his body and he found it exhilarating as it infiltrated his system.

His tongue trailed from your clit down to your folds before he plunged it deep into you again. All along the way, you cried out, shifted in your seat and bucked your hips to meet his licks, tangling your fingers in his hair and scratching his head. Forgotten were the numbers and letters you had studied before. Everything in front of you went black as you closed your eyes to give in to the fullest of pleasures.

Taeyong’s left fingers suddenly dipped into your centre, causing you to jump at this sudden movement. You wiggled in your seat, trying to get him deeper into you and as smug as he was, he just grinned and pushed into you with one hard thrust.

“Ahhhh!”, you screamed, one hand clasping his neck and the other one holding onto the edge of your seat just to look for support in case you’d pass out soon.

Each thrust coming from Taeyong’s slender hand made you jerk in pleasure, struggling with wanting to stop now and continuing until you’d probably swoon.

Whatever Taeyong was doing down there, it made you become a mess. Cries and whimpers fell from your lips, somehow mixing together to noises you didn’t even know you were able to make.

His approving groans sent vibrations to the region around your clit, making the pleasure in your groin just build up faster. Your hips bucked up and down, wanting him to go faster as the knot in your lower stomach grew bigger and bigger, just begging to be released, to explode.

“Hmm, are you feeling good?” you heard him saying. “Much better than math isn’t it?”

“Tae-… Yongie, oh god…”

Screw math. You were gasping for air, crying out his name over and over again. The pleasant feeling pooled up inside of you and you knew that, when he’d go faster, you’d be finally released.

“Faster?”

Taeyong knew that as well. He rolled his tongue over the sensitive bundle of nerves, flicked and sucked on it harder while the tip of his fingers pumped in and out of you. He nudged your clit, pressing his lips against it to intensify the coiling feeling in the pit of your stomach by doubling his speed. He hummed in pleasure, sending vibrations throughout your body as you felt your orgasm nearing.

“Are you going to sum?”

Shit. You loved when Taeyong dirty talked. It was always such a turn on. You could practically see him smirking down there.

“Ohhh, Yongie...”

You threw your head back, anticipating the release. Your thighs tensed around his neck and he felt your walls begin to flutter around his fingers. A little more. Just a little more.

But then he stopped the motions coming from his fingers and lips as sudden as he had attacked you. You whined, suddenly feeling so unfulfilled and empty. The feeling of not getting the chance to release yourself while your orgasm was right around the corner was almost ripping you apart. Tears fell from your eyes and you half-screamed his name, partly in annoyance and partly because you were begging him to continue.

You watched Taeyong, who was still kneeling in between your legs, pulling out his fingers fully just to lead them to his mouth. His gaze pierced through your eyes as you watched him parting them slightly, a sticky substance sticking on them.

He flashed a smirk at you before taking them into his mouth and sucking it gently. Your face flushed instantly when he pulled it out, showing you that he had sucked all your juices off.

“You taste good,” he said as he got up and you looked at him in disbelief. “Too bad I’m just an annoyance.”

Taeyong sighed dramatically, yet playfully, and walked towards your bed. You shifted in your seat, still confused over the fact why the hell he had just stopped and didn’t continue. It was surely not the first time that this little fuck was teasing you like hell, but never had he been that cruel to stop right before you were about to cum.

“And too bad you want me to sit down and do absolutely nothing the next few hours.”

You stared at him seating himself onto the mattress, still feeling heated up and so turned on.

“It’s a little hot in here, isn’t it?”

As much as Taeyong wanted to hide his grin, he just couldn’t. That little shit was playing with you, and you knew that, from the moment you had let him in between your legs, you had already lost.

You clutched onto the lower hem of your skirt, feeling your core still dripping when Taeyong pulled his shirt over his head and laid back down on the bed, practically presenting himself on a silver tray. He was offering himself to you, and it was only a question of time until you were going to attack him back. He crossed his arms behind his head and watched you struggling with your priorities with much amusement.

Your instincts told you just to jump at him, but your mind told you to calm the fuck down and concentrate on your studies again. Math wasn’t done with you and neither was the exam which would be in around 12 hours. You should have never allowed Taeyong to come over. Never. But on the other hand… that boy, lying half naked in front of you, was your super hot boyfriend, wanting to pleasure you in every way possible.

Fuck everything.

With your head lowered, you stood up, causing Taeyong to raise his brows in surprise. With one fluid motion, you opened the two upper buttons on your shirt and let the clothing slide down your shoulders, draping around your ankles as it fell on the floor. Taeyong watched you in amazement with sparkling eyes.

Quickly, your skirt followed, gliding down your hips to fall onto your feet as well. You took a step forward to get out of the pile of clothes and flashed a deathful glare at Taeyong who had a half-smirk around his mouth.

You walked towards him and he sat up to welcome you with open arms, “If I’m going to fail this exam, you’re so doomed.”

He just laughed and wrapped his arms around your body, pulling you into an embrace and placing you on his lap.

Taeyong attacked you in an open-mouthed kiss, bringing your bum just a little closer so that you were sitting right on his crotch. He lifted his hips, brushing against your core and with that, the familiar feeling from before started to rise once again. You let out a light moan against your boyfriend’s lips as you hooked your arms around his neck.

“Hmm… I think a distraction is everything you need right now.”

He bucked his hips once again, making you cry out his name when your hips started to move and rub against the bulge in his jeans. Just a few layers were separating you two and neither one of you could wait until they were fully gone.

With your legs on either side of Taeyong, you slid up and down his crotch in a grinding motion, now causing him to whimper instead of you.

“Lay down!” you commanded and Taeyong tilted his head in confusion before you put your hands on his chest and pushed him back into the pillows.

Moving backwards a bit, you opened the button and unzipped his pants. Hooking under the waistband, you flapped his boxers and his erection sprang out, slapping against his stomach. Once again, you wondered how he was able to keep it in his jeans for that long.

“My turn now,” you said and licked over your lips.

Taeyong watched you in excitement and anticipation as you bent down and opened your mouth, letting his swollen length pass your lips.

He threw his head back and sighed in relief of finally being taken in, covering half of his face with his arm he had just placed on his forehead. You swallowed further, letting him slide in slowly while his other hand clenched the sheets to his left.

When you reached your limit, not being able to continue anymore, you popped him in and out of your mouth while either of your hands were embracing the base of his cock. He was pulsing against your palms, the blood running through this body part with a high pace like never before.

With a slurping sound, you let go of him and wiped your mouth, giving Taeyong a teasing look.

“Shiiiit!” he groaned with a husky, deep voice and you could swear that it was the sexiest sound you had heard in a long time.

“Hmm, I’ve barely even started, Yongie,” you said and giggled.

You put your tongue on the base where your hands were, letting it slide all the way up to the tip, leaving a wet path with your saliva. Massaging his balls experimentally with your fingers, you made him shift his hips in anticipation, hearing him inhaling deeply just to let out a long-lasting moan which sounded like music in your ears.

You flicked your tongue over his tip, tasting the precum dripping from it. Dipping your tongue into the crease, Taeyong groaned again, this time louder and impatient. It was until then, when he began to swear as you bobbed your head up and down the upper half of his cock, making him nearing his pleasure. Now opening your mouth, you took him in all at once until you reached your limits.

“Fuck!” he cursed, tangling his fingers in your hair and scratching your head.

His pants mixed with groans, turning him into a mess under your touches like he had just done with you before.

You continued bobbing your head up and down his length, taking him to the furthest you could and letting him slide out of your mouth just to take him in again. The pace was rather slow, but it had its effect.

Taeyong was so, so close. You intensified his feeling by massaging the area around his base, then letting your hands help you by gliding up and down the lower part of his cock. You then stopped at the head to suck with your lips on the tip, nudging it with your tongue before letting it pass your wet lips once again.

He was twitching in your mouth in anticipation for the upcoming release, and it was right before he was reaching his climax when you let go and sat up, wiping your tongue over your lips.

“We’re getting a little bitchy over here,” Taeyong panted as he saw you stopping and crawling back to pull on the waistband of both, his boxers and jeans.

“Tit for tat,” you just answered, and within a blink of an eye, your boyfriend had already grabbed your waist on either side and flipped you over so that you laid underneath him. “Oh, we’re getting a little impatient over here, aren’t we?”

Taeyong just let out a laugh when he got on his knees and hovered over you, reaching under your back to open your bra with one fluid motion. You arched your body to make it easier for him to remove the clothing. He placed himself on top of you and lowered his head to take one of your nipples in his mouth.

His tongue moved over your nub in circular movements while his other hand grabbed at your breasts to massage them intensely with his fingers. He took your peak between his teeth, sucking on it roughly and making you gasp, partly in slight pain and partly in excitement as he gently bit into it.

“God, Taeyong!” you screamed, digging your fingers in the back of his neck while he kissed down to your navel. “Just…”

You didn’t even need to speak it out. He sat up and put both of your legs over his shoulder to slide off your soaked panties. You could still feel your core pulsing from the things he had one before and it probably only got worse now that he was so near, but still not in you.

Taeyong peeled off his jeans and boxers, getting entangled with the clothes in eagerness. When he was finally freed and completely naked in front of you, he reached over to your nightstand, grabbing one of the condoms out of the package. You reached out your hand to grab it and before Taeyong could even realize, you hooked your legs around his waist and made him turn around, pushing him back onto the mattress so that you were sitting on top of him again.

Flashing a triumphant smile at him, you put the silver pack between your teeth and opened it. Like an expert, you rolled the rubber down his length.

“Shitshitshit.”

Taeyong had every right to curse. He loved it when you were riding him. It was rare, because he was a kind of a very dominant guy, but when it was your turn, you always managed to give him the best ride ever.

You crawled closer to his crotch and by grabbing on his length, you directed him at your entrance. The tip poked into you, and although you planned to tease him a little more, you couldn’t continue to do so. Not when pleasure and release were so tangible. Your eyes fluttered in bliss as you threw your head back, letting your lips part in satisfaction the further his cock slid into you. Feeling him inch for inch, you bit your lip in excitement and exhaled in relief.

You placed your hands on his chest and started to move your hips in circular motions, gyrating against Taeyong’s hips. You could hear him groan and feel his length twitching in your core, anticipating more.

He grabbed on your waist and followed your movements, thrusting upwards when you started to raise and lower your hips on his cock. You clenched your muscles and glided up and down his member, increasing your pace with every movement you made. Your pants, moans and groans filled the room from the first time you had led him into you.

Probably neither of you exactly knew what you were doing anymore by now. All you could do was give in to the pleasure, being led by the coiling feeling building up in your groin once again. It was fun on top, but it was exhausting as well. Usually, Taeyong would…

“Out of breath yet?” he asked as he sat up, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear before he kissed you with his mouth slightly open.

His tongue glided into your mouth for a deep kiss, but not one of the sort where it was all sloppy and wet, but one of the sort where it was all passionate and hot. Bringing your legs around his waist, you hooked your ankles and let yourself be placed onto the mattress without him pulling out.

“I can’t anymore,” you breathed, running your fingers over his chest before grabbing onto his shoulders. “Yongie, please, I—“

“I know, I know.” He kissed you once again, and it was the moment he started to thrust when you threw your head back, angling your hips against his.

“Ohh… Oh god…”

Your nails dug deeper into his skin and he lowered his head to look you in the eyes intensely, the tip of his nose slightly touching yours. Sweat was glistening on his forehead, wetting the tip of his hair.

It was over with slow and tender motions now. Taeyong reached out for the headboard and held onto it as he increased his pace. He practically slammed into you mercilessly and roughly, making you scream endlessly this time.

“Taeyong!” You clenched your eyes shut, just feeling him hitting the right spot in the right angle over and over again. “Fast... please faster!”

The bed creaked loudly under you, and you were glad that your parents weren’t home now.

“Shit,” Taeyong panted, keeping his thrusts quick and steady. “God, you feel so good…” He went faster and faster. “I love you,” he exclaimed suddenly, “I love you so fucking much.”

Just in the moment you wanted to return something, the orgasm ripped through you. You let out a high pitched scream, experiencing a climax as powerful and mind-blowing as always with Taeyong.

He felt your walls tightening around his length, your thighs tensing and closing around his waist even stronger. The orgasm shot spasms through your body, making you hold onto your boyfriend even more desperate when you lolled your head back as no more sound wanted to come out of your mouth anymore, your body arching against his.

Feeling himself getting close too, he cupped your face and kissed you passionately. You could tell from the pace of his pants that he was so close to his release as well, and it was only seconds later, after a few more thrusts, that he finally came too. His body shook as he let out a deep groan, falling on top of you with a long moan.

You both breathed heavily from exhaustion, and Taeyong pulled you into an embrace immediately after, placing your head on his chest and holding you tightly like he never wanted to let you go ever again.

“Screw math,” he then said and you could feel him smile as he placed a tender kiss on your forehead.

“Screw math,” you repeated and pulled the blanket over the both of you.

Yet, there was still something you hadn’t said back when Taeyong exclaimed it in release.

“I love you, too.” And with a smirk, you imitated, “So fucking much.”

In embarrassment, he got up and flipped you over again, wrestling with you on the bed as relieved laughter filled the room.

Forgotten was math and the upcoming exam. You probably wouldn’t have gotten anything in your head anymore anyway. And Perhaps, a little distraction to free your mind and clear your thoughts was more helpful than studying until you went crazy.

And your boyfriend was probably the best solution to every question anyways. There was no way you would fail the exam anymore.

[helliontherapscallion]

Going Mining (Adrenaline Junkie Part 2)

Part 1     Part 3     Part 4     Part 5     Part 6     Part 7     Part 8     Part 9     Part 10     Part 11     Part 12     Part 13     Part 14     Part 15     Part 16     Part 17

Spotify Playlist (collaborative)

Warnings: swearing, OOC sbi

Word count: 2,582

It had been about a year since you told your family about your tendencies. Since then, you quickly became efficient in the art of redstone wiring. The precious dust became your saving grace in a way, it was because of it that you stopped skydiving. Of course, you missed the feeling you got when you got close to the ground going at mach speed, but they were just intrusive thoughts at this point; you didn’t make any move to fulfill your desire. Redstone wiring took your mind off from it.

Lately, you spent most of your time in the basement where you set up your workshop to craft most of your supplies and write out blueprints. You were working on finding out a way to somehow launch TNT to make igniting it safer. You figured out that you could use a dispenser to plant the TNT, repeaters to prolong the time the TNT gets placed, a button to press to initiate the whole process, and use redstone dust to connect everything together. Now you have a working TNT launcher, but you have to find a block to use as a wall to protect the user from the shockwave of the explosion. You found out the hard way that the shockwave is enough to knock you back a few feet and give you small burns.

You reached over for more iron to make another repeater, but your hand came up empty. You furrowed your brows as your hand patted around the chest before finally looking over to look more closely. The chest was completely empty. You groaned in frustration, you could’ve sworn that you had more iron to work with. Looks like you had to go mining again. Sighing as you checked your redstone dust supplies, you supposed that you could look for more of that too.

Prying your goggles off from your eyes and placing them on your crafting table, you checked the time. It was almost sunset, which means it’s close to dinner time. You walked up the stairs and to the kitchen, where Philza was cooking dinner.

Sitting down at the dinner table, you greeted him. “Hey Dad, what’s for dinner tonight?”

“Steak and baked potatoes. How’s the TNT launcher coming up?”

“It’s coming along. At this point, I just need to figure out what block I could use as a wall to block the shockwave and how many repeaters I need.”

You remembered earlier today when you got the unexpected knockback in your backyard where you were building the launcher. Philza got used to the constant explosions, so he wasn’t phased when the explosion was louder than usual. He just thought you were using more TNT than usual, so he just resumed chopping wood. Soon after the explosion, he heard a thud and a groan coming from you. When he glanced in your direction, he saw you laying in the grass a few feet from the launcher. He chided you for not being careful with how much TNT you used, but he was proud of you for being so innovative. After giving you a health potion for your burns you got, he told you that you were done building for the day.

He hummed thoughtfully as he flipped a steak. “Have you thought about using obsidian? It’s pretty durable and it could withstand quite a bit of damage.”

You slapped a hand to your forehead. Why didn’t you think about using obsidian? Most TNT technicians used obsidian to shield them.

“...No, no I haven’t. You don’t suppose that we have any laying around?”

“I’m sorry hun, but we don’t. I could go mining for some though.”

“No that’s fine, I was actually going to find a cave tomorrow to restock on iron and redstone. I’m running low.”

“If that’s the case, I’ll lend you my diamond pickaxe. The iron pickaxe you have won’t mine through obsidian. Dinner’s almost done, can you go get your brothers?”

“On it!”

You ran up the stairs, hearing the strumming of a guitar growing louder as you approached Wilbur’s room. Knocking loud enough for him to hear over the guitar, the strumming stopped and he called out a “come in”.

Opening the door, you smiled at him. “Hey Wil. Dad wanted me to tell you dinner’s almost ready. That new song sounds great by the way.”

He put his precious guitar back into its case on his bed as he turned around and returned your smile.

“Thanks (y/n). Tell him that I’ll be down in a moment.”

Nodding, you closed his door and went across the hall to Techno’s room. Before you could knock, the door swung open to reveal your oldest brother. 

“I heard you tell Wilbur dinner’s ready. I’ll see you there.”

You stepped aside to let him into the hall and started to walk to Tommy’s room. You swung open his door and chuckled lightly as he jumped.

“Hey gremlin. Dinner’s ready.”

“How come you knock on Wilbur’s and The Blade’s door but not mine? I could’ve been naked!”

“You do the same thing to me. Techno and Wil knock on my door, so I knock on theirs. Now, get down to the dining room before your food gets cold.”

He stood up to his full height and casually walked over to you. In the past year he has grown to be almost 8 inches taller than you and he didn’t show any signs of stopping any time soon. To your surprise, he shoved you to the side and sprinted out of his room.

“LAST ONE TO THE DINING ROOM HAS TO DO THE DISHES TONIGHT!”

“NOT FAIR, YOU GOT A HEAD START.”

You sprinted after him, but he was ahead of you by time you passed your other brother’s rooms. By the time you got to the top of the stairs, he was halfway down them. There was only one way you’d win. You hauled yourself over the railing of the stairs and jumped, extending your wings to slow your descent. You swiftly regained your footing and sprinted towards the kitchen with desperation. You weren’t going to do the dishes when it was Tommy’s turn; it was your night last night. You laughed in an early celebration when you neared the door to the dining room. There was no way Tommy could possibly-

You yelped as you felt your body being pulled back and a slight pain in your wings. Tommy must’ve grabbed your wings. Falling on your ass, you quickly reached to grab Tommy’s ankle to bring him down on the ground with you. He landed on his stomach with a thud as you pulled him back as hard as you could. You crawled towards the dining room door, only to feel Tommy grabbing your wings again to pull you back. Wincing as you felt some feathers being yanked out, you cursed your wings for growing to be almost larger than your body and easy to grab. You slid across the ground as Tommy pulled you back and tried to crawl into the dining room. You reached out with your other wing and started battering his head to disorient him. It worked as he stopped and you felt him trying to swat your wing away so he could see. Making haste, you crawled into the dining room.

“OI THAT’S NOT FAIR. YOU STARTED HITTING ME.”

“All’s fair in love and war, gremlin. Besides, you pulled my wings first, so you technically started it. I wasn’t about to do the dishes for you.”

“I don’t know why you are the one calling me gremlin, you’re short as hell.”

“Oi, 5’2 is average height! You all are just way too tall!”

Despite you and Tommy arguing, you both were giggling and smiling at each other. The rest of your family watched you two in amusement for a couple of minutes before Philza spoke up.

“Alright you two, dinner’s gonna get cold if you keep it up. Tommy, (y/n) won fair and square. You will also pick up the feathers you plucked out after dinner. (Y/n), don’t jump over the railing again. I understand that you can fly but still that’s dangerous.”

You both murmured “yes, Dad” before taking your seats at the table. As the dinner progressed, everyone had small side conversations about how their days were. Dinner went by faster than usual, probably because everyone was tired. 

Tommy grumbled to himself as he picked up the feathers on the ground. Taking pity on him, you picked up everyone’s dishes and took them to the kitchen sink and filled it up with soapy water for Tommy. You washed and dried them by time he got done picking up your feathers. He was an annoying little gremlin, but he was your little annoying gremlin. You loved your little brother.

“...Thanks for helping me. You didn’t have to do the dishes.”

“It’s not a problem, Tommy. You already had to pick up my feathers. Er, sorry for hitting you with my wings, that probably hurt.”

He chuckled, rubbing his head. “It kinda hurt, but I deserved it for pulling out your feathers.”

You moved your wing in front of you to examine it. Only a few secondary feathers were missing, it was probably mostly your semiplume feathers he pulled out. 

“You didn’t do too much damage, no worries. I’m going mining tomorrow, is there anything you need me to pick up?”

His eyes lit up. “If you find a diamond, give it to me. My jukebox broke today.”

“I gotchu. It’s getting pretty late, T. We should go to bed.”

You gestured for Tommy to follow as you started to walk back into the dining room and into the kitchen. You two made comfortable small talk as you walked back to your rooms for the night. After changing into your pajamas, you plopped onto your bed and buried yourself in your sheets. You struggled to cover your wings before giving up and leaving them to droop off the side of your bed. You really needed to ask Philza how he covered his wings, they were larger than yours so he probably had a little technique he uses. 

Having wings kinda sucked sometimes. Besides not being able to cover them with a blanket easily, they didn’t fit on your bed if you wanted to stretch them out to their full length. When you were younger, your wings always fit on your bed and you would always keep them covered. But now with your wingspan being longer than your height, they were a pain to manage, especially at night. You always had to either sleep on your stomach or side and you couldn’t roll over without pulling a muscle in your wing. Because of this, it usually took you a little longer than most to fall asleep.

Your blissful slumber was interrupted by the light peeking in through your curtains. Sitting up, you stretched out your wings, smiling in satisfaction when you heard them crack. You stood up and grabbed your clothes for the day. Since you usually woke up a little earlier than your brothers, you always got first dibs on the shower after Philza. You yawned tiredly as you flicked on the water faucet and stepped into the shower. Now slightly more awake, you stepped out and started to preen your wings. Another downside to having wings is how high maintenance they are. 

After taking care of the rest of your morning routine, you went down to the kitchen where Philza was sitting at the table drinking some coffee looking as dead inside as ever. 

“Mornin’ Dad.”

He grunted in response. He was never a morning person, even after adopting four kids. You walked over to the chest where the food is kept and pulled out some eggs, bread, and beef. Usually, you made breakfast while Philza made dinner. You hummed a small tune as you flipped the eggs and turned over the beef sausages. One by one, your brothers joined Philza at the table and waited while you cooked. 

You grabbed four plates and sets of silverware from the cabinets and put on an appropriate amount of food on each, placing them in front of your siblings and dad. You grabbed your own before joining them at the table. 

“So, I’m going mining today. Is there anything you guys want me to get?”

They all chimed in with their needs. Philza wanted you to grab more iron and diamonds, Techno wanted some gold, Wilbur didn’t ask for anything, and you already knew what Tommy wanted. It sounded easy enough.

While the boys wrapped up breakfast, you excused yourself from the table and went back to your room to grab your satchel, pocket watch, iron pickaxe, and iron sword. Walking back downstairs, Philza gave you the supplies you would need today: a diamond pickaxe and a plethora of torches. “No staying out past sunset. Don’t mine down. Stay aware of your surroundings. If you see a mob, do not try to fight it, just try to run. If you get hurt, come straight home. If you get lost, follow the torches.”

“You worry about us too much.”

He sighed as he pulled you into a hug. “I just want you to be safe, hun.”

You smiled as you hugged him back and wrapped your wings around him. “I know, Dad. I’ll be safe, promise.” 

“You better, or else you’re grounded,” he joked.

You chuckled as you pulled away and said goodbye to your brothers for the day. Heading out into the brisk morning, you took in a deep breath and smiled to yourself. You had a feeling that this mining trip was going to be bountiful. You spread your wings and took off into the sky. 

Flying for a while, you spotted an opening in the ground. Grinning, you gradually landed before walking into the cave.

You spent hours mining precious ores, working your way deeper and deeper into the cave. You still had at least five hours before you had to start heading back to the house, so you thought going deeper wasn’t going to hurt anybody. 

You hummed to yourself as you passed multiple stalagmites. This cave was seemingly never ending, you’d have to mark it on your map so you could come back to it. The mouth of the cave kept getting larger and larger until it melded into a huge, winding cavern. You’ve never been this deep before, so you were excited to explore. Being mindful of placing down torches, you explored the cavern before you came across a strange looking block you’ve never seen before.

It glowed a luminescent green as weird looking projections (tentacles maybe? Was this thing alive?) flailed about before they fell into a relaxed movement and stopped glowing. Reaching out to poke it, you cringed as it felt weirdly moist and it made a slight squelching noise. It flailed about again as it glowed. You saw movement in the corner of your eye and turned to see another one of the blocks doing the same thing. How weird. 

Suddenly, the nearby lights started to flicker on and off, even your torches, as you heard a rhythmic thudding sound bounce off the walls of the cave. The thudding got louder and louder gradually as you frantically looked around for whatever it was and pulled out your sword. Hearing movement from behind you, you turned around only to freeze in fear. 

What the fuck was that?

[bounce-a-coin-off-your-witcher]

Hi love!

Can I please beg for Tangled Geraskier?

Rapunzel Jask. You know I’m a sucker for angst so including the scene where he cuts her hair would slay me 💖💖💖💖💖

TYILYYYYY

Hello, Stina dear! Sorry this took me actual months to write, but it broke me out of my writer’s block and for that I am eternally grateful.

I chose several pieces of the Tangled narrative to write Geralt and Jaskier into... enjoy! 

2k-ish words (please leave me comments I’m so tired my dudes)

tw: blood, injury, major character (near) death, if you’ve seen Tangled you’ve seen this

---

“So,” Jaskier smiles playfully up at the thief sitting beside him. “Roger Eric, huh?”

Geralt rolls his eyes but Jaskier catches the flush that settles high on his companion’s cheekbones. “It was… It’s a long and boring story about a lot of sad little children that I’m sure you don’t want to hear on such a lovely evening.”

Jaskier scoots closer, until the sides of their arms are pressed too tightly together for even a slip of paper to slide between, and leans his weight against the thief. He bats his thick eyelashes and pouts his lip in a way that always seems to work with his Father. “C’mon, Geralt, please won’t you tell me? Just one little story? I told you about my magical hair, after all.”

“Hmm,” the thief glares dawn at the doe-eyed blonde for a moment before nervously clearing his throat. “Fine. I… I got the name Geralt of Rivia from a collection of short stories that I used to read the other boys at the orphanage in Kaedwen; they were all about this knight who was loyal and brave and courageous despite his hideous appearance. He was rejected by princesses and noble women but was beloved by the people. Having been born with white hair… well, a lot of the folks that came looking for children thought I was under a spell or curse so…. I wasn’t their first choice for adoption.”

“You and Geralt were a lot alike, then. Different. Special… Kind.”

“I wouldn’t say I was spe-”

Jaskier’s hand darts forward and his long, slender musician’s fingers grasp Geralt by the wrist. The fledgling bard clings onto his escort tightly, his large blue eyes suddenly brimming up with tears. “Don’t you dare say you aren’t special, Geralt Roger Eric whatever your surname really is. I’ll never forgive you if you spew such nonsense where my delicate ears can hear it.”

Geralt swallows thickly and glances away. Jaskier always looks so sweet and sincere; the features on his boyish face flicker in and out of focus as patterns of light thrown by their small campfire play across his pale skin. His gaze is intense, focused on Geralt and Geralt alone. The thief panics and asks: “What is it, Jaskier? Why are you looking at me like that?”

“You saved me, you know. You saved me from those men back there at the inn, you saved me from being trapped in the tower all my life, you saved me from getting lost in the forest, you… you’re a good person, Geralt. Don’t let the world or the Captain of the Guard or anyone else change your mind, do you understand me? You are-” Jaskier’s hands scrabble frantically to grasp Geralt’s, as if the white-haired man might disappear entirely if Jaskier so much as loosens his grip “- you are the best thing that’s ever happened to me since I’ve been locked in that foul, awful tower!”

“Well I…” Geralt clears his throat again. He stands slowly, disentangling his hangs from Jaskier’s as he takes a slow step back. And then another. “I should go get more firewood.”

Despite the uneasiness in their parting, Jaskier smiles after him. 

The momentary spell cast by their closeness is only broken when Jaskier hears a familiar voice from just behind him: “Well, I thought he’d never leave!”

The blonde jumps up from his seat and spins on his heel to face the black-cloaked wizard. “Father? How… How did you find me?”

Stregobor wraps his arms around Jaskier’s shoulders and squeezes so tightly that it feels more like a threat than an embrace. “It was easy, I simply followed the sound of absolute betrayal.”

Jaskier flinches and tries to pull away but cannot yet escape. 

“I just brought you this,” his Father continues. He finally releases Jaskier and hands his son the worn leather satchel he’d found hidden in his tower. “If this Geralt creature really is the man you think him to be -and don’t deny it, little flower, I can read your thoughts- give this back to him and see how long he stays.”

“Father, I-”

“Goodbye, my child. See you soon, I’m sure. Just remember that Father knows best!”

And in a swirl of black smoke and confusion, Stregobor disappears.

---

“Why do you look so scared?” Geralt asks. He slows the small gondola he’s rented to a stop, turning it slightly more to the side so that they have a better vantage point to see the lanterns spread over the harbor from the city. Jaskier sighs deeply and shakes a stray flower petal away from his eyes, the enormous golden braid shifting ever-so-slightly against his shoulders.

“I’ve been looking out a window for eighteen years,” he says softly. Nervously. “What if… What if it’s not what I expected? I’m terrified to see what it all looks like up close because what if it doesn’t meet my expectations? What if it’s not everything I dreamed it would be?”

“It will be,” Geralt replies without thinking. 

“And what if it is?” Jaskier queries, voice growing frantic. “What if it’s even more spectacular than I could have ever hoped? Then my dream will have been fulfilled and I’ll just… go back to the tower again.”

“You’ll just have to find a new dream, I guess,” Geralt offers. When Jaskier settles down into the boat a bit more comfortably and smiles shyly back at him, the thief knows he’s hit the right mark for once. Behind Geralt, the first lantern lights up the sky. Jaskier gasps and points, eyes wide and sparkling with excitement; Geralt is utterly enchanted by his easy beauty. The thief digs two paper lanterns out from beneath his seat and offers one to Jaskier, giddy when he grins even more excitedly than before. “I got this for you… I hope you like it.”

“Oh, I love it! And I have something for you, too.” Jaskier turns and pulls something from behind him. The bardling hands Geralt his very own satchel, which the thief briefly accepts and then drops to the floor without a second thought. The anxious blonde musician beams over at him more gloriously than the midday sun and then turns away, blushing a sweet shade of pink. “I should have given it to you earlier, but I was so scared… and now I’m not! I’m not scared anymore!”

“Good,” Geralt smiles back. He’s elated. It feels as if his heart is glowing twice as brightly as any of the lanterns floating past and around them. “That’s very good.”

I know what my dream is now, Jaskier. Now that you’re here by my side I never want to see you frown again. You don’t deserve to be hidden away in a tower where your art is stifled… even if you don’t want to love me back in that way, I’ll still protect you. I want to see how you see the world, Jaskier. I lo-

“Geralt! Look! That one has runes painted on it, what does it say!?”

---

Geralt pulls his daggers from his belt but before he can stab them into the craigy stone wall and begin his ascent, the familiar tresses of Jaskier’s long golden hair topple down to reach him. Thank fuck, he’s still alive. 

“Jaskier! I thought I’d never see you again!” he calls as he grabs hold of the thick blonde strands. 

The thief climbs quickly, his arms and legs nearly cramping with the effort to hurry back to Jaskier. As he hauls himself through the large window and into the tower proper, however, he’s met with a confusing and unsettling sight: Jaskier stands across the room, a cloth gag pulled tightly between his teeth, his hands manacled together behind him. A short length of spare chain attached to the manacles keeps the frightened, struggling blonde tethered against one of the building’s thick support beams. Someone had knocked down a mirror or vase during the previous fighting; shards of pottery and silver lie scattered across the floor, working as a weak barrier to keep Geralt away from the bound man. Jaskier screams out in warning as their eyes meet: “Ghmphh!”

If Jaskier is being held captive then who let his hair do-

Before Geralt can finish fully forming his question, a bright flash of pain arcs out from his side and sends him toppling to his knees. A wet, sticky heat begins to spread from a spot beneath his ribs and when he presses his hand against his shirt it comes way red. 

Oh. Oh, no...

He hears Stregobor’s voice addressing the sobbing blonde, “Now look what you’ve done, Jaskier.”

Geralt collapses to his knees and then falls to his side, curling up in the fetal position and clutching at the wound as if that will be any help at all. He knows he’s doomed, but there must be some way for him to help Jaskier… to save his… his love. 

“Don’t worry, little flower, our secret will die with your little thief, here, and then we’ll be safe again. Just the two of us.”

Jaskier keens loudly and the sharp, desperate sound of it makes something deep in Geralt’s heart ache. The younger man pulls and yanks against the chains that hold him in place, his bare feet slipping against the polished floor as he tries and fails to reach the wounded Geralt. 

Stregobor yanks at the lead, pulling Jaskier back harshly by the arms. The young musician’s shoulders burn with the strain of it but Jaskier pulls forward anyway, uncaring. He must save Geralt, he must. The wizard tugs him back again, more roughly, and the jarring movement loosens his gag. He spits it from his mouth and cries out: “Stregobor! Strego- Father, listen to me!”

The wizard pauses, his interest piqued by Jaskier’s use of the word Father given the circumstances. “Yes, child?”

“Father,” Jaskier pants, turning to look at the man who’d held him captive for eighteen years. The man who kidnapped him from his cradle and forced him to grow up without the love of his real parents. The man who had, mere moments ago, stabbed the love of Jaskier’s life with the full intention of killing him. “I want you to know that I won’t stop fighting you. Every moment of every day for the rest of my life will be spent trying to get away from you. I will scream and kick and struggle and yell and you will have to keep me caged away as a bird or a mouse to make me stay by your side unless-” Jaskier pauses to take a breath, his shoulders sagging as his gaze drops submissively to the floor between them “-unless you let me save this man. Let me save Geralt’s life and I will follow you all around the Continent without a single word of complaint. I will never attempt to run away or hide from you, not once. Everything will go back to being exactly like it was before, Father, I swear on his life.”

Stregobor considers for a moment. 

He nods. 

“Alright, then. Let’s be quick about it, little flower.”

He removes the shackles from Jaskier and clamps them tightly around Geralt’s wrists instead, securing him to the bannister at the foot of the stairs. To keep him from following us, he remarks offhandedly. 

Jaskier pads his way across the floor as quickly as he can in his bare feet and falls to the ground at Geralt’s side. He pulls the wounded thief against his side to steady him and gathers two heavy handfuls of his own long hair. “I’m so sorry! Everything is going to be okay now, Geralt, I swear it.”

Geralt shoves his hands away weakly, “No, Jaskier.”

“You have to trust me, Geralt, I-”

“I c-can’t let you d-do this,” Geralt grunts, teeth gritted against the pain. 

Jaskier stares down at him, tears already gathering at the corners of his sky-blue eyes. His voice trembles when he whispers, “And I can’t let you die. I won’t let you die.”

“But if you do th-this then you-” Geralt coughs and Jaskier wipes a trickle of blood away from the corner of the thief’s mouth “-you will die.”

“Shh,” Jaskier quiets him, dropping one fistfull of blonde tresses to cup Geralt’s face instead. “Everything will be alright.”

Geralt smiles sadly up at Jaskier, his decision already having been made. He lets the back of his knuckles ghost across the musician’s peach-soft cheek. Jaskier’s eyes flutter shut for a moment and then open again, curious. “Jaskier, I…”

The thief uses the last of his strength to push up into a sitting position. The hand on Jaskier’s face slides back and gathers his hair at the back of his neck. Geralt’s other hand comes up, a shard of glass gripped tightly in his fist, and slices through the long blonde strands. He watches as Jaskier’s hair turns from radiant gold to chestnut brown. Geralt falls back with a short, sharp sound of agony, his vision already fading around the edges. The shard of mirror, dagger-sharp around the edges, clatters to the ground beside Jaskier. 

“No!” Stregobor screams, gathering up an armful of Jaskier’s still-blonde hair. The golden hue is already fading, shifting to match the short brown hair still fluffed around his head. The lost prince watches with wide, horrified eyes as the wizard trips over a loose floorboard and goes careening out the open window. 

More worrying than his kidnapper’s death, however, is the man lying in his arms, breathing shallowly. Jaskier gathers Geralt close, tucking the thief’s head against his neck and wrapping his arms around the older man’s broad shoulders. “No, no, no, no, Geralt. Stay with me, okay? Stay with me, right here.”

He grabbed at Geralt’s hand, holding it against the top of his head as he sang desperately. “Flower gleam and glow, let your power shine, make the clock reverse, bring back was once was mi-”

“Jaskier!” Geralt says, pulling his hand down to cup the prince’s face. He can feel his limbs growing cold and numb, distant from him and out of his control. “You… You were my new dream.”

Jaskier sobs, clinging to Geralt with all he’s worth. “And you were mine.”

Geralt manages to smile up into those beautiful blue eyes one last time. And then the world goes dark and his hand falls to the floor, limp.

---

Jaskier buries his face in the crook of Geralt’s neck and screams. He throws back his head and howls like a wounded animal, his heart shattering to pieces within the confines of his chest cavity. Then he quiets himself down, adjusts Geralt’s body on his lap, and finishes the song the way he’s been taught to do: “Heal what has been hurt, change the Fates’ design, save what has been lost… bring back what once was mine.”

A single tear falls from his eye and lands on Geralt’s cheek. A cheek that will never blush again, never turn up in a smile, never-

A faint yellow glow catches Jaskier’s vision, just from the corner of his eye. He turns his head to look at Geralt’s wound and gasps: the outline of a golden flower covers his abdomen, glowing so brightly that Jaskier must hide his eyes and turn away to keep from being blinded. When the glow fades enough that can safely look back again, Geralt’s wound is gone and the blood that was once staining his jerkin has disappeared. 

He leans over the white-haired thief with bated breath, waiting for a movement or a breath or something… anything. 

After a long moment, two honey-hazel eyes blink open. Geralt inhales quietly and then asks, with the sweetest smile Jaskier has ever seen in all his eighteen years of life, “Did I ever tell you I had a thing for brunettes?”

Jaskier squeals with glee and throws himself into Geralt’s waiting arms, pressing their eager mouths together for the first kiss of their Happily Ever After. 

[solarwonux]

Sunflower || Seokmin 

seokmin x f!reader: soulmate au 

w.c: 23.7k (its a long one get some popcorn lol)

warnings: angst, really really slow burn, suggestive themes (no nsfw sorry y’all) 

note: I’M SO EXCITED TO FINALLY RELEASE THIS FIC, it has been released before but I rewrote it a little and finally finished it. PLEASE PLEASE LET ME KNOW YOUR THOUGHTS IT WOULD MEAN SO MUCH TO ME AND YES YOU DO NEED TO READ CHERRY FIRST IT WOULD MAKE A LOT MORE SENSE IF YOU DO. 

cherry || masterlist

“Get up.” Seungkwan said opening the curtains in your room letting in the obnoxious rays of sunlight. You groaned turning over in your bed pulling the sheets over your head. A failed attempt to block the sunlight out. “I mean it get up.” He jumped on your bed, trapping you underneath him then tried to pry off the sheets from your body. Your iron-like grip holding them in place. You wiggled your body trying to wrestle him off. He scoffed placing his hands on your sides and jabbing them, an annoyed laugh falling out of your lips. He snickered grabbing onto your sheets and pulling them off your body. 

“Get up!” He exclaimed letting you go, bringing your sheets along with him. He stood at the foot of your bed, hands on his hips, waiting. You whined, flaying your limbs up in the air, which only made him roll his eyes in annoyance. “It’s too early, let me sleep please.” You grumbled finally sitting up on your bed, crossing your legs and arms in front of you. You blinked rapidly trying to get used to the brightness of your once dark room. 

“It’s almost two in the afternoon, I’m not letting you sleep anymore…so get up.” He commanded his hands leaving his hips and pointed an accusatory finger at you. “You’ve been doing this every weekend for the last five months and honestly I’ve had it.” He shook his head in disbelief and threw himself on your bed in despair. You rolled your eyes shoving him with your foot before laying down on your side, eyeing the unpleasant billboard outside your—well Seungkwan’s guest bedroom window. “Even if I get up, what's the point, I have nothing to do.” You sighed moving so you were now on your back, eyeing the ceiling fan as it turned with ferocity above your bed and attempted to count the times it went around in circles. Useless to say the least but helped calm you down.

“I talked to Vernon yesterday; he’s worried about you?” Seungkwan sat up poking your side again. The name that fell out his lips sent jabs of pain up your body and you tried your hardest to blink back the tears that had started to form at the sound of his name. “I’m fine.” You whispered turning over to face your best friend. His eyebrows furrowed as he searched your face carefully for any warning signs. “It’s okay not to be fine you know, it’s okay to admit it too.” He sighed wrapping an arm around your shoulder hugging you tightly. 

“How is he?” You mumbled. The question had been lingering at the tip of your tongue since the day the two of you decided to finally part ways. Since the day you moved into Seungkwan’s guest bedroom and since the day Vernon told you about his back-packing trip around South East Asia. That night the two of you cried together on Seungkwan’s overly expensive couch, because your new realities, that didn’t involve one another as lovers, finally started to settle in.

When he walked out the front door, he had promised to come back under one condition. You knew it was eating him inside, but he held his head high and told you to try everything in your power to find the person that was meant to be your forever. He had found his, in fact his was the reason why the two of you were in this mess in the first place. Why the color you had gotten used to seeing for nearly five years had been stripped away from you.

“He’s good, he arrived in Thailand last night and yes he’s taking his vitamins and eating well.” Seungkwan stated he sat up bringing you along with him. “But he keeps asking about you and I’m tired of lying to him, so I’m taking you out today.” He smiled brightly, tugging a strand of hair behind your ear and placing a soft kiss against your forehead. “So, take a shower before I dump a bucket of water on you.” 

“Where are you taking me?” You turned down the radio, your voice was hoarse from screaming out the lyrics to Dancing Queen with Seungkwan. A curious smile playing on your lips as you looked out your open window, the wind hitting your face making goosebumps rise onto your skin. Despite still not feeling like you could jump back and be the person you were five years ago or five months ago, you felt at ease.

“It’s a surprise.” Seungkwan stated in a matter of fact tone, finishing it off with a scoff. You rolled your eyes sitting back in your seat. The beginning melody of Toxic sounding through his car speakers made Seungkwan groan in protest. “Last time I let you pick the music.” He pointed out, turning on the turn signals. 

“Shut up you love it.” You teased. “Now please tell me where we’re going, we’ve been driving for nearly three hours.” You whined, closing the window and bringing down the car visor. You opened the little mirror and cringed once you saw yourself. Your hair was sticking out in different places, your red lipstick was slightly smudged, and your mascara had started to run. If Vernon was next to you, he would’ve told you that you still looked like the most beautiful girl in the world. You grinned letting out a small sigh and shook your head. The feeling of nostalgia making its way underneath your skin whenever you thought of him. To your surprise you hadn’t bursted into tears yet and maybe that was an indication that you were finally starting to let yourself feel happiness once again.

“It’s been an hour and a half, you’re literally so dramatic.” Seungkwan said in disbelief as he slowed down the car. “Anyway, we’re here, but you have to put on the blindfold before we go anywhere.”  He smiled, putting his car in park and shutting it off. He reached over the back seat and brought out a blindfold, cheekily showing it to you. 

“Kwanie I know I’ve been a pain these last five months but I’m literally begging you to not kill me today.” You said as you finished up fixing your face as well as your unruly hair before closing the visor and turning to face him. He rolled his eyes shoving the blindfold into your hand. “I can’t stand you sometimes, just put the damn blindfold on.” He whined, tapping his fingers impatiently on his steering wheel. You saluted at him jokingly before putting it on. “Done, lead me to my death.” 

“Let’s go drama queen.” 

“You’re one to talk.” You mumbled opening his car door. Seungkwan grabbed your hands leading you out of the car, resting his hands on your shoulders. “I promise you’ll love it.” He said the smile prominent in his tone of voice as he started to walk you forward. You jumped putting one of your hands over his in panic, your stomach turning in anticipation. Your mind goes through numerous possibilities of what would be on the other side once you removed your blindfold. A part of you hoping it was Vernon, but you knew that wasn’t an option. He was out, doing something he had desperately wanted to do for years and no matter how much he cared for you. He wasn’t going to put his dreams to halt for you. The two of you had done it for far too long and now it was time to finally live for yourselves. It was something the two of you deserved. 

“Alright we’re here.” Seungkwan stated as the two of you stopped walking. Your hands quickly went up to the blindfold and took it off quickly. A gasp falling out of your lips as you stared in awe at the black and white field of sunflowers. The heliotropic flowers swayed slowly in the wind as they reached up high towards the sunlight. Your stomach turning wishing you had never taken your color for granted. 

“Kwanie, I-I love it.” You smiled turning to face the boy who was looking at you smugly. You hugged him tightly, burying your face into the crook of his neck finally letting the tears spill out. He nodded wrapping his arms around you tightly, slowly caressing your back as he let you cry. Something he had gotten used to since you had started living with him, and something he would never complain about. The pain you were going through, he could not understand no matter how hard he tried. He had never been in love before, his soulmate mark remained untouched, the words etched on his wrist haunting him for years, slowly making him lose hope. And that’s how he lived for a while until the night when you called him sobbing. The words coming out of your mouth he couldn’t make out, but he heard the pain laced in your voice. His heart broke as he knew what had happened. 

Vernon had confided in him for nearly a year. At first, he didn’t agree with the way he was handling things, telling him that you should’ve been his first priority. But the more he thought about it the more he understood why he couldn’t. Vernon’s love for you was indescribable, he would’ve moved mountains and parted the red sea for you if he could. You were his light the reason he kept pushing even though at the end he knew what the outcome would be. The love the two of you had was pure art and Seungkwan could only hope to find something so perfect one day. Which is why he let you cry on him; let you curse out the world as he held you in his arms because even though he hadn’t found the person the universe had set him up with. He knew what it felt like to long for that person. 

“We can cut some and take them home. Trust me the apartment needs a little bit of brightness.” He pulled away, his thumbs wiping the stray tears on your cheeks. You nodded turning around, watching the people you had overlooked run around happily. Some were by the little white kiosk that held bundles of sunflowers and strawberries and you assumed that’s where you would go to pay the fee. Others were taking pictures with the daisy like flowers, while others were cutting off the stems carefully to take home, fighting with the bees. The whole sight made you feel warm and at peace and though you had already cried. You felt like crying again only because the happiness that was bubbling up inside of you was overwhelming. 

“Let’s go then and since you brought me here you will pay for them right.” You pouted batting your eyelashes up at him. 

“What kind of friend would I be if I didn’t” 

“The worst honestly.” You grabbed his hand leading him to the middle of the field. The skyrocketing flowers make you feel small as if you were an ant in the middle of a field of grass. “I wish I can see them in their truest form” You sighed taking one of the leaves in between your index finger and thumb. “But I can only remember what they would look like.” You nodded smiling sadly earning a flick on the forehead from Seungkwan. “Ow…what the hell Kwanie.”

“Stop getting all sad on me and smile please.” He said, bringing a pair of kitchen scissors from his back pocket. You cocked an eyebrow in curiosity, and you were about to ask him where the hell he had gotten them, until you noticed the miniscule flashes of color by his shoulder. You blinked rapidly, before rubbing your eyes forcefully not caring that you had smudged your mascara.

Seungkwan leaned up grabbing onto the flower stem, placing it in between the scissor blades and cutting it. A satisfied hum escaping his lungs, nodding in approval while he turned to you and brag. His smile fell once he noticed the look of distresses embedded onto your face. “What’s wrong, what happened?” He said dropping the flower along with the scissors and placing both hands on top of your shoulders. He shook you, your eyes turning wide while you looked around. The water pooling in your tear ducts and he tried to desperately grab your attention.  

The broken flashes of yellow, coming in and out at a faster than before. Faster than the morning you had met Vernon. Your heart was at your throat and you pushed Seungkwan’s hands off your shoulders, ignoring his worried statements and pushed past him. You kept walking, your hands shaking at your sides as the flashes of color became more intense. Seungkwan followed you, taking long strides to keep up with you. “What’s happening…did something happen?” He asked his voice sounding with concern and once again you ignored him again, trying to find the reason why you were suddenly seeing color again. A part of you wondered if this was how Vernon had felt that night. If he felt lightheaded. If his body grew weak while his heart broke slowly into thousands of pieces while the flashes of color came in and out. 

“Seokmin where are you going…what’s going on?” You heard a voice shout, your footsteps coming to a stop once your eyes found the ones of the person in front of you. The same look of distress you had on your face adorning his. You let out a sob seeing as the color poured in at a faster rate than before. The part of you that still loved Vernon breaking away slowly while you felt your heart start to beat out of time. Just like it had done that first time you met Vernon and you were introduced to a world of color. Seungkwan came up beside you, out of breath, his hand grabbing onto your arm, confusion written all over his features as he looked between you and the man standing a few feet away from the two of you. 

“Min, you’re scaring me.” His friend said, waving a hand in front of his face. He didn’t budge, instead his eyes only got wider, and he took it upon himself to take a wary step forward. “D-Do you see i-it too?” 

You nodded pushing the hand Seungkwan was using to hold you back off. “W-What’s your name?” You took a step forward, your body feeling as if it were on fire. Something you had never once experienced before.

“Seokmin, I-I thought I would never find you.” He confessed stopping until only a foot separated the two of you. His hands inside his jacket pockets itching to reach out to you. To embrace you, wipe away your tears, and tell you how beautiful you looked despite the mascara tracks staining your cheeks. 

He never imagined that this day would come. Sure, he had fantasized about it since the day he learned what soulmate’s where. He had practiced numerous conversations inside his head, to be prepared. But he never once believed that he would be able to find, certainly not in a field of sunflowers on the hottest day of the year. And certainly not with you standing in front of him crying as if your heart was breaking instead of mending.

“C-Can I give you a hug?” You spoke rubbing the back of your hand against your cold cheek, a sob catching itself at the back of your throat. He nodded quickly, taking his hands out of his pockets and shaking them at his side. The two of you stared at each other in silence, eyes running all over the place. Your bodies daring to finally cross the line. In the end, despite your heart feeling as if it were to fall out of your ass. You crossed it, wrapping your delicate arms around his torso, the sob you had been holding in finally breaking out of its confinements. 

Seokmin held you as if his life depended on it. His mind searching through the files of practice conversations he had over the years, trying to come up with something, anything to say to you right now. 

With caution he started to run his hands down your back, trying to offer you comfort. His gaze landing on the man that had been chasing after you. To Seokmin his features were unreadable, but the tears that had started to fall out of his eyes spoke volumes and it scared him. He could only hope he wasn’t your significant other because the last thing Seokmin wanted to do was make you choose. If your heart didn’t belong to him then he’d live with the consequences because despite not knowing your name yet, he knew you deserved more than what the world had to offer. 

“I-I’m sorry.” You pulled away; the residue of your mascara combined with your tears on his pale-yellow t-shirt. Your bottom lip trembles as the memories of your first meeting with Vernon came flooding back. “Everything is so fucked…I’m sorry you had to meet me like this.”

“Don’t be sorry, just because we met doesn’t mean we have to be together right away.” He nodded the soft pad of his thumbs lying against your soft cheeks. He studied your face closely, taking in everything as fast as he could. Afraid you would be taken away from him forever. He could tell something was bothering especially when you refused to look him in the eye. Only catching the subtle hint of sadness hiding behind your sparkling eyes. There was something you had to deal with, one that didn’t involve him, and he knew he had to put himself aside and you first. 

“I’ve waited my whole life for you…I can wait a little longer.” 

“Text him please.” Seungkwan pleaded falling on to your bed cuddled with your pillow. You stopped your typing and took off your glasses before looking down at him. His puppy dog eyes cause you to roll your eyes.

“I will once I’m done applying for this job.” You smiled sending him a playful wink. “No now, you always come up with an excuse to shut me up but this time it won’t work.” He sat up and hit you across your face lightly with your pillow, blocking your view. You whined feeling the weight of your laptop disappear from your lap and you knew this was a fight you weren’t going to win.

“Why does it matter, it’s not like I’ve been ignoring him, I respond to his good night and good morning texts every day.” You sat up and reached over to grab your laptop in which he was holding close and tightly to his chest. “Wow girlfriend of the year.” Seungkwan rolled his eyes, turning his body from your grabby hands.

“We’re not dating…please give me my laptop back.” You pulled at his arms as they got tighter around your precious device. You cursed falling back on your bed when you realized your attempts were going to be deemed as unsuccessful. 

You slammed your hands down on your bed in frustration. Seungkwan sighed and set down your laptop on your bedside table before laying down next to you. He poked your cheek, grabbing your attention, your pouty gaze making his heart sink. “I’m scared, what if the same thing that happened with Vernon happens again.” You confessed hitting your palm against your forehead, silently punishing yourself for your stupidity.

“We don’t get anywhere in life letting our fear get in the way of things.” He grabbed your hand and placed it on his chest. “And you can’t keep comparing this potential relationship with the one you and Vernon had because you’ve been given a chance to start over and fall without a care in the world.” He said playing with your fingers gently. “So, ask him out, I know he’s been dying to see you again.”

“How do you know?” You scoffed pulling your hand from his and resting it on top of your stomach. You looked up at the ceiling, counting the small indents that appeared over years of overuse. Your mind racing back to the events that occurred at the middle of the sunflower field as well as what happened after. Which was nothing, you had told Seokmin that you needed time before jumping face first into a brand-new relationship. He had agreed, told you he’d wait for you a whole lifetime again if that’s what you needed, and it broke your heart. You could tell he was a little disappointed. It was written all over his face, despite the smile that adorned it and you couldn’t imagine how he was feeling now, especially with your lack of communication.

“Soonyoung told me.” Seungkwan flicked your forehead bringing out of your daze making you glare at him in the process. You were thankful for him and everything he had done for you throughout your devastating break up with Vernon but sometimes you wished he wouldn’t worry so much. “Wait…when did you get his number?” You sat up leaning your body over and poking his side. He convulsed pushing your hands away before sitting up and crossing his legs under him. “That day at the field while Seokmin paid for your flowers.” He pointed behind you to the vase that held your withered sunflowers. “Also, when are you going to get rid of them, they’re looking a little dead.”

You rolled your eyes and shoved him as hard as you could. He was right, the flowers had been dead for almost two months, but every time you looked at them, they reminded you of Seokmin and that thought alone made you happy. “Never, I’m going to be buried with them. Now get out of my room I need to finish applying for this job.” He nodded reaching over for your laptop and handed it to you before getting off from your bed.

“Fine, but please text him, Soonyoung and I made a bet and so far, he’s winning, and I really really don’t want to give him a cent.” He laughed walking out of your room, holding onto the door handle tightly.

“Seungkwan my love life is not a game.” You shouted, throwing your pillow at him. His eyes grew wide in panic and he ran out of your room, closing your door quickly. Causing your pillow to hit the door and fall to the floor. You shook your head and laid back on your bed, your laptop and job application long forgotten as you eyed your charging phone. Your hands itched to reach out and grab it and finally send the text you had written countless times, but never sent because of fear.

“Fuck it.” You reached over and pulled it off the charging cable, unlocking it and opening your message app. Seokmin’s good morning text sat unread at the top of the list. Your heart palpitated as you typed the message you had memorized and counted to ten before hitting send. You panicked throwing your phone across your bed and getting off it, the sweat forming on your hands as they shook. You ran out of your room, down the hallway and into the kitchen, your eyes landing on a smug looking Seungkwan as he turned a wine glass in his hand.

“I sent it.”

“Finally, I’m about to be fifty dollars richer.” 

“How do I look?” You walked into the living for the umpteenth time that afternoon, this time you were adorning a sky-blue summer dress and white vans. “Every time you’ve asked me that I’ve told you the same thing, you look great now finish getting ready he’s going to be here in literally ten minutes.”

“I know but each outfit doesn’t feel right.” You threw your hands up and sat on the lounge chair putting your feet on top of the coffee table earning a look of disapproval from Seungkwan. “What if I wear the wrong outfit and the same thing as last time happens.” You pushed your hair back, lightly tugging at your roots. 

“Sometimes I find it hard to believe that I’m the dramatic one in this friendship.” He leaned over and pushed your feet off the coffee table making you pout. “A bad outfit isn’t going to trigger what happened with Vernon, so calm down and touch up your make or hair. Whatever you need to do because now you have a solid five minutes before he gets here.” Seungkwan stood up from his seat and pulled you up from the lounge chair.

“See, I knew my outfit was bad. Now I have to go change again.” Seungkwan rolled his eyes while he pushed you back into your room. “It was a hypothetical, you look beautiful, but what does look bad is your hair so fix it because time is ticking and neither of us are getting any younger.” He guided you to your mirror waving his hands around your disheveled hair, scolding at yourself for having the terrible habit of pulling on it whenever you were anxious or frustrated.

“Fine, but can you keep on the lookout.” You spoke your eyes growing wide, the feeling of panic rushing through your veins when the doorbell sounded. “Looks like I don’t need to.” Seungkwan grabbed your brush and handed it to you before exiting your room, closing the door behind him. “Don’t change or I’ll come in here and drag you out in whatever terrible outfit you have on.” He scolded the sound of his feet getting softer as he neared the front of the apartment.

You sighed putting down your brush and smoothed out your hair as much as you could before tying in back in a loose half up and half down style. You slowly counted to ten putting on your earrings and the rings you could find on top of your messy dresser. You gave yourself one last look, whispering words of encouragement and walked out. Seungkwan and Seokmin’s animated voices getting louder as you got closer to the living room.

“Tell Hoshi I’m expecting his payment by tonight.” Seungkwan jokes. Seokmin threw his head back in laughter, making you roll your eyes.  

“Sorry for keeping you waiting.” You cleared your throat, putting your cross-body bag on and gripping the leather strap tightly to keep your hands from shaking. Seokmin’s laughter died down as he turned to face you, a blush appearing on his cheeks as he took in your appearance. “It’s okay I didn’t wait long.” He shook his head smiling, he extended his free hand to you before quickly exchanging it with the one that held the flowers. “These are for you. I wasn’t sure if I should get you the daisies, the roses, or the lilies so I got you all three.” His nervous eyes left yours and looked around looking for another point of focus.

“I love them, thank you so much.” You took them from him, holding them close, a color of array of emotions bursting inside of you making you feel as if you were being reborn.

“Alright, you two get out of here, go have fun.” Seungkwan broke the silence taking your flowers from you. He gave you a pointed look as he shuffled the two of you out. “Have her home by midnight.” He opened the front door signaling the two of you out. “Will do, it was nice seeing you again Seungkwan.” Seokmin walked out leaving you behind to follow him through the compressed doorway.

“I’m terribly sorry about him.” You sent Seungkwan a glare, his tongue poking out at you in a teasing manner before shutting the door.

“He should meet the rest of my friends. I think they’d get along very well.”

Seokmin and you walked in silence, your hands brushing against one another daring to feel each other’s warmth. The sweet melodies of the night life filling in the pockets of the comfortable silence that was lingering in the air around you. A few sorry’s and excuse me’s were exchanged by oblivious passer-byes making the two of you exchange inconspicuous stares. Smiles etching from side to side, cheeks flushing dark crimson. Your hearts matching time unbeknownst to the outside world.

You tried to come up with anything to say though you ended up falling short. Even though the silence that was between the two of you was loud, blaring in forms of sirens. It wasn’t enough to overwhelm you, and for that you were thankful.

“We’re here.” Seokmin finally broke the silence, his shoulders settling to a calm composure. He grabbed the door handle and opened it, stepping aside giving you room to walk in.

The second you did you were hit with a colorful aroma of different tea blends, sweets and spices. The quirky designs and phrases decorating the different walls jumped out at you. And the calm soothing vibe warmed up your insides, calming your nerves.

Seokmin came up behind you finally crossing the line the two of you had unknowingly laid out. “I hope you don’t mind this is my favorite boba shop, I know it’s not ideal, but I was really drawing a blank when you texted me earlier.” Seokmin placed a hand on your shoulder, making your breath hitch as he stood behind you patiently waiting to be attended.

“It’s okay, I love it, plus we have other chances to go on more extravagant dates.” You exaggerated, giving him a warm smile. Seokmin swore he had been lifted up into heaven and dropped once he saw the light on your face.

“I’d love nothing more.” He gave your shoulder a squeeze before wrapping it around your front, gently pulling you close. “T-This okay?” He asked, his voice wavering at the end giving you the indication that he too was unfamiliar with this new ocean the two of you had plunged yourselves into. “Yes, this is perfect.” You answered a little too excited.

“Great, what do you want then?” Seokmin pointed to the menu behind the front counter. You looked up skimming through the various flavors and options silently before turning your head to face him. “Why don’t you choose me?”

“Are you sure, you’re putting a lot of trust in me. This decision could either make or break us.” He joked moving with you as the person in front stepped up to order. You smiled, shaking your head, bringing up a hand and intertwining it with the one Seokmin had around you.

“I guess you better choose wisely then.”

In the end Seokmin ended up ordering four different flavors of boba tea. All this favorite.

The cashier had given the two of you strange looks, probably wondering why the hell two people needed four drinks and it only made you laugh even harder. Seokmin had given you a pointed look before breaking into a smile, that you swore could light up every room. It made your heart skip a beat, fill you up with happiness that you hadn’t felt ever since that day at the park with Vernon. Making you realize that that was the last time you had felt that type of happiness. 

“So why four?”

“I just ordered all my favorites, just in case my favorite favorite wasn’t your favorite.” Seokmin placed two of the drinks down onto the table, the two of you indiscreetly walked too. He waited for you to take your seat before taking his, at his respectful side of the tiny booth.

“So, which one is your favorite favorite?” You leaned your elbows forward toying with the plastic wrap of one of the straws.

“The mango green tea one.” He nodded pushing the drink in question towards you. You snickered, breaking the plastic wrap, lifting your hand to break the lid, stopping short when you noticed Seokmin’s hand covering the lid. “Before you try it, promise me this won’t be our first and last date.” He whispered his eyes all but pleading making your heart sink.

Sighing you brought your hand down, setting the straw aside. You put your hands over his, lifting it up to your lips, giving them a gentle kiss. You couldn’t blame him for asking. You had ignored him for almost three months, only answering his good morning and good night texts. He had every right to doubt you and your word. Without his knowledge you were putting back the pieces that were left behind after five years of living in a perfect illusion. Vernon still lived in the back of your mind, sometimes his memories still made your heart flutter and the what if’s still kept you up at night.

It was a conversation you needed to have with Seokmin, he didn’t deserve to be lied to or kept in the dark, especially because your heart wasn’t all that there yet. And because his was still innocent and pure, but for tonight you would bask in your dream world. Make promises you weren’t sure you could keep yet, because a part of you was starting to desperately cling onto him. 

“Seokmin I promise.”

There was a first time for everything.

And for the first time in your life you had laughed so hard to the point you had milk tea coming out of your nose.

“Sorry.” Seokmin’s demeanor fell, stopping his over dramatic retelling of how he and his friends came to own a pottery studio. He panicked, a troubled expression replacing his soft gaze, scrambling to get a napkin out of the holder. You tried to regain your breathing as he handed you a handful of napkins, but your imagination took over and you doubled over in laughter, your forehead coming down onto the table. The images of Seokmin and his friends dressed as cats, dancing and singing along to the musical soundtrack in order to convince the previous owner to hand over the studio with the first six months of rent paid. Replaying in your mind like a movie reel.

“D-Don’t be t-that’s the funniest thing someone’s ever told me, and I’ve known Seungkwan for half of my adult life.” You panted and placed your hand on your chest, your stomach throbbing in blissful pain. Seokmin smiled, his cheeks blushing red. He reached over cradling your cheek gently, wiping your nose. The situation finally became clear and you flushed in embarrassment.

“You’re cute.” He whispered, his face lighting up before he gave your cheek an awkward kiss from across the table. “I think I’ve embarrassed myself here today more than I have my entire life.” You let out a small laugh, your hand coming up to your forehead and hitting it lightly with the palm of your hand. 

“Like I said, you’re cute.” Seokmin removed your hand, locking his fingers with yours before sitting back in his seat. “Can I come sit over there?” You toyed with the straw of your drink, signaling to the empty space next to him with your head. Seokmin nodded, tugging on your hand lightly signaling that his impatience was close to take over. You removed your hand from his hold and stood up. He eyed you carefully as you smoothed out your dress, the light blue hue brought out the beauty of your smooth skin. It complimented the sparkle that lived behind your eyes making them look as if they held the entire universe behind them.

For the first time in his entire life, Seokmin finally understood the hype around the color blue. 

He wrapped an arm around your shoulder after you sat down. You put your head on his shoulder, blushing when you felt his body stiffen. “Will you take me to the studio one day?” Your index finger coming up to play with the water ring your drinks had left behind on the table.

“If you do me a favor.” He swallowed trying his best to get his body to relax, but it felt as if it were on fire and no amount of water would be able to put it out. “I’m not dressing up as a cat and dancing for you, if that’s what you want.” You looked up as he started to cough, his eyes wide as he choked on air due to your statement. His mind wandered to places it shouldn’t ever wander and he wanted to slap himself mentally as well as physically. You sat up and patted his back, a knowing smile forming on your face and made a mental note to add what you had said to the list of embarrassing things that had happened today.

“N-No nothing like that, t-that wasn’t what I meant.”

“I know I was just messing with you.” You poked his nose and it only made him blush even harder, and it made your ego swell knowing you had such an effect on him. “What is it?”

“Please stop calling me Seokmin, it makes me feel like I’m in trouble with my mom.” He chuckled awkwardly, bringing up a hand to the back of his neck and rubbed it awkwardly. “What do I call you then?” You cocked your head to the side, bringing a hand up to smooth the collar of his button down shirt. It had been bothering you the entire night, but you didn’t have it in you to fix it. Afraid you were crossing a boundary either of you were ready to cross. But seeing as how the events were playing out you assumed it was alright.

“Call me DK.”

“Like the video game character?” Another fit of laughter threatening to break through the surface. Seokmin sighed, shaking his head in disbelief before pulling you close to his body. “Could be, but it’s short for Dokyeom.” He grabbed your hand from his chest and hooked his pinky with yours, swinging them in front of your bodies. You acknowledged, taking in your bottom lip in between your teeth. The butterflies that had been growing throughout the night in the pit of your stomach were having a field day. It was scary, you had only known him for almost three hours, and you were reading to risk it all once again.

“How about I call you baby instead?”

“Say it one more time?” Seokmin had you pressed against the outside wall of your apartment. Your hold on the doorknob faltered as you felt his lips hover over your own. “Baby,” You whispered, finally letting go of the doorknob and wrapping your arm around his neck.

“That’s my new favorite song.” He stated pressing your body closer to his, lifting you away from the wall. “Is that so…baby.” Seokmin groaned hiding his face in the crook of your neck. A tiny laugh falling out of your lips. You wrapped your hands around him, running your hands down his back gently.

“Please let me kiss you.”

Seokmin pleaded, lifting his head up to face you. A teasing smirk settling on your lips as you took the disparity behind his beautiful eyes. “Nope, you haven’t earned that privilege yet.” You pushed him away gently, stepping aside and finally entering the passcode to your front door. 

“Ask me to be your girlfriend first.” You turned the doorknob, his arms snaking around your waist, his breath tickling the shell of your ear, the adrenaline you had felt throughout the night intimidating a breakthrough. 

“Will you be my gir—.” You turned around quickly covering his mouth with your hand, the panic evident behind his glimmering eyes. “Not here, not now Seokmin.” You brought your hand down and he pulled away, taking his arms with him. “You’re right I’m sorry.” He hit his forehead gently with a closed fist, mumbling indiscreetly underneath his breath. For a second you thought you had ruined everything.

“I-I want you to be sure first, I don’t want to rush into anything.” You said as reassuringly as possible, the tiny fear demon in your mind finally coming out to play as it filled you with your doubts “I know, I’m sorry…sometimes I get too carried away, but I meant what I said the first time I met you.” He stuffed his hands inside his pockets, shrugging awkwardly. “I just hope that one day you can tell me what’s holding you back.”

“Seokmin it’s just that I—.”

“You don’t have to tell me today, but I promise I’ll listen to you when you’re ready.” He nodded closing the gap you had created and gave your forehead a gentle kiss. “Goodnight, sleep tight…baby.” He winked before stepping back and walking out of your line of sight leaving you breathless and overwhelmed, to the point where all you wanted to do was cry, because to say the least you were still scared and confused.  

You let out a sigh and turned around punching in the passcode, impatiently waiting for the door to click open. You angrily shuffled inside your apartment, closing the door behind you. You placed your forehead against it, toeing off your shoes and pushing them aside. You took a deep breath and counted to ten before facing Seungkwan who was without a doubt going to be waiting for you to hear all about how your date went. You plastered on your best fake smile, going over points Seungkwan was sure to ask in your head and turned around, expecting to see him on the couch dramatically twirling a glass of Rosé in his hand. 

And you wished that’s what you were met with, but like always the universe had its way of working and for a while it had been working against you. So of course, you were met with Seungkwan, a forgotten bottle of Rosé on the coffee table as he held onto Vernon while he sobbed into his arms.

“W-What’s wrong?”

The minute you laid eyes on Vernon you felt like your whole world collapsed into tiny shards of glass at your feet. You couldn’t breathe. It was as if your lungs were being crushed by two weights of pressure. You stood there in the middle of the living room, your words getting caught at the back of your throat, while Seungkwan ushered a sobbing Vernon out into the balcony of the small apartment. Leaving you behind to deal with your own curses. Seungkwan gave you one last sympathetic look almost as if he were telling you that he had everything under control. Yet, it didn’t help ease your newfound anxiousness as all you wanted to do was run outside and push Seungkwan away to comfort the boy you once loved. The same one a part of your soul still loved and held onto for dear life in fear that one day you would wake up and forget what it was like to ever be loved by him.

It was overwhelming. The feeling bubbled up inside of you as you retreated from the living room and made your way into your own room, looking for an escape. You were met with your four walls and memories that were buried deep into the archives of your mind started to play. Reminding you just how much you truly longed for Vernon. Reminding you just how much craved for his touch. 

It was cruel. The tricks your mind was playing on you and for a moment you let it consume you. Deciding that this was it for you and you had a good but unfortunate run but it was too much for your poor body to handle.

Like that the seconds passed and then came the minutes and eventually four hours had gone by with you having no recollection of what you had done. How you changed out of your blue dress or when you had replied to Seokmin’s text with a simple: I’m fine, miss you already. Another lie you could add onto your belt. Your self hatred growing as time slowed down everything around you making it seem as if you were underwater.

Maybe one day you’ll finally be strong enough to face him and tell him the truth. Open your chest up to him and let him in on your soul crushing secret because he deserved to know the truth. But that time wasn’t now, at least not while you sat against the door frame of your bedroom door. Looking out into a dark lonely hallway hoping that the next person to come through wasn’t the one you wanted to hold.

You wanted to scream out into the void. Scream at the universe for being so cruel. Scream at Seokmin for finding you when you were still hurting. And you wanted to scream at Vernon for showing up in such a state that made you want to drop everything and give him the entire world again. But whenever you opened your mouth nothing but silence came out. Leaving you behind to deal with feelings you didn’t fully understand.

“He wants to see you.” Seungkwan’s voice brought you back down to Earth. You looked up, running your hands over your tear stained face, meeting his pained expression. Another thing you could add to the list of things you hated about yourself.

Seungkwan didn’t deserve to be caught in between two broken people and act as their mediator. He deserved a life where he wasn’t constantly picking up the pieces and breaking his neck to offer comfort to two selfish people that clearly did not deserve it. Every night you found yourself hoping he’d finally realized this. You hoped he’d leave you behind and continue the life he had put on pause for you and Vernon. You hoped he could find better friends that finally saw him as someone more than just a shoulder to cry. Your wishes falling onto deaf ears because he was still here wiping away your tears.

“He wants to talk to you.” He crouched down in front of you and gently flicked your forehead. “I don’t want to see him.” You whispered resting your cheek against your knees as you avoided his eyes and looked out into the dark hallway again. “I’m scared.” A tiny sob fell out of his lips as he sighed, taking a seat in front of you.

“Not as scared as he is right now.” Seungkwan placed a hand on top of your head and smoothed out the frizziness that had occurred over your neglect. “I helped him as much as I could now I’m passing the torch down on to you because I think you can offer him a lot more than what I can.”

“I can’t...a broken person can’t help another broken person. We tried it before and it ended in a mess.”

“Then don’t try to help him and just listen to him.”

“What if I say or do something wrong and I just make everything worse?.” You lifted up your head and met Seungkwan’s frustrated gaze. He ran his soft hands over your cheeks wiping away the tears that had silently started to decorate your face again. He placed a soft comforting kiss against your forehead before standing up and offered you his hands.

“I doubt you can make him feel even worse than he already does.”

You held the beer cans Seungkwan had laughably shoved in your arms close to your chest. Your eyes stung from the salty tears that had been pouring out. It frustrated you because it seemed like the only thing you could do nowadays was cry. It made you feel weak and worthless.

There was a little voice in the back of your head that was scolding you. Telling you to suck it up because whatever was going on with Vernon had nothing to do with you or the beautiful tragic past the two of you shared. You had realized this hours ago, yet you still cried as if you were the one at fault or the one feeling his pain with him. 

That was something the universe didn’t take into account when she had rudely decided to split the two of you up. No matter what happened or where the two of you ended up in life you’d always be connected by a single string. Your life lines belonged to one another, the pain he felt you felt it to. 

Maybe that was the aftermath of this whole soulmate fiasco or maybe it was something you made up to give yourself comfort. But at least he didn’t have to endure it all alone.

You took a deep breath before sliding open the balcony door. The humidity of the summer air hitting you square in the face causing the feeling of suffocation to return. Yet somehow it still sent shivers up your spin as if it were winter. A side effect of being in the presence of your past lover.

His back was turned to you and you would’ve thought he hadn’t noticed you if it weren’t for the awkward shift of his legs and the tension in the air. He looked down at the nightlife that had started to crowd the streets for their daily rituals. A soft hot breeze blew dancing with a few strands of his hair, while the annoying billboard that covered the sky view from your bedroom window casted a faint spotlight on him.

“You wanted to see me?” You cleared your throat and closed the balcony door behind you. Vernon turned around, his swollen eyes and tear stained face matched yours. “Can I give you a hug?” He choked out, his lips trembling slightly. You nodded and placed the beer cans down onto the small patio table before closing the gap between the two of you. A broken sob fell out of his lips when your arms finally found their way around his frame. You held him tightly, breathing in his familiar scent, feeling the goosebumps rise along your arms as you rubbed soothing circles down his back. Your own eyes brimming with tears as you felt him shake in your arms and it broke you.

“What happened?” You broke the silence with the question that had been lingering in your mind for hours. Vernon raised his head and you reached over to gently wipe away his tears with the sleeves of your hoodie. He pulled away from you once you retreated your hands and walked over to the balcony railing, turning his back to you. You were left standing there unsure if you should follow him or keep your feet planted in the spot a few feet away from him.

“I think the world has a personal vendetta against me.” He shrugged, breaking the suffocating silence. You grabbed the beer cans and walked over and stood next to him. “That’s a pretty big claim don’t you think?” You handed him a can. His fingertips slightly brushing over yours, sending a jolt of sparkling shivers up your spine.

“The person I saw myself growing old with turned out to not be the person the universe had picked out for me and the person the universe did pick out for me died last night. I’d say it’s the right claim to make.” He laughed bitterly opening the beer can and taking a generous drink from it.

“L-Last night, Vernon you’re not shitting me are you? I just had lunch with them yesterday.” You shook your head bringing a hand up to your face and slapping your cheeks gently. Your head didn’t want to settle down and your heart was starting to speed up. It was impossible you had seen them not even twenty four hours ago. You had laughed over a funny video on their phone and bonded over a book two of you had been consequently reading.

“You two were friends?” Vernon exclaimed his voice containing hints of underlying shock and confusion. “I guess we were.” You shrugged and opened up your beer can. “I didn’t mean to befriend them at first. I reached out to them after you left cause I knew you were in contact with them and since Kwanie wasn’t telling me anything about you at first. I thought that if I got close to them, they would eventually bring you up and I’d finally know how you were.” You finished bringing the can up to your lips and took a few sips. The bitter taste hitting your tongue making you groan in annoyance.

“Did I come up?” He glanced over at you, a sneaky smirk forming on his lips at your confusion. “Only when they found a way to insert an apology over the events of that night. Even after all the times I had told them that it was fine. That I was fine.”

“Are you fine?”

“Shouldn’t I be the one asking you that?” You grinned, bumping your hips with his making him stumble. “Everyone already has. I wanted to spice things up for once.” He smiled up at the night sky. You watched making it obvious that you were. The stars sparkled behind his tired eyes reminding you of all the wishes you had made whenever you looked into them. Some of them came true others didn’t and it had torn you apart until one day it didn’t.

“I don’t matter right now Vernon.” You took a sip from your beer cringing at the taste once again. You had to remind yourself that you weren’t drinking for the pleasure, but for the strength you needed to be next to him right now.

Vernon blew out a raspberry and took the last sip of his beer before turning to face you. He grabbed your hand and brought it up to his lips kissing each of your knuckles before placing it on his cheek. He closed his eyes and leaned into your touch basking in the feeling of having you next to him again. You took a deep breath as the hand holding his beer can circled around your waist and brought you close. He opened his eyes once he felt your chest against his, soft eyes running over your features carefully taking in everything that had stayed the same but had also subtly changed. Vernon freed your hand letting his fingers run up your arm until they reached your chin.

His touch ignited your insides. The world falling away over the horizon leaving two broken souls behind reveling in each other's warmth once again.

“You will always matter to me.”

You tried everything to keep the tension between the two of you at bay. To keep your focus on his words rather than the way his lips moved as he explained his soulmate’s unfortunate death.

It had been a hit and run and it filled you up with anger. Anger that you had never once had the privilege of experiencing until the words escaped Vernon’s mouth. “I just feel guilty. I never gave them a chance. I ran away when I realized things wouldn’t go back to normal and now I’m sure I’m being punished for it.” Vernon sighed and brought his fourth beer up to his lips, taking a decent sip from it before gazing over at you. His eyes shined as if they held a thousand tiny little universes and you found it difficult to look away.

The space between the two of you disappeared and you found yourselves shifting closer to one another as if pulled by two magnets. Your legs were resting on top of his thighs and his warm hand wrapped around your calves, rubbing soothing circles against your skin. The light of the billboard casted a warm glow onto the two of you making the setting a little more intimate than intended. But neither of you found yourselves complaining. 

“Vernon, don’t say that...they understood our situation and they wanted to wait until you were ready.” You reached over and pushed a fallen strand of his hair back, your heart beating out time and you felt as if the entire world had stopped. It was a known fact that you two were reaching into uncharted territory but neither of you wanted to hit the brakes just yet. Maybe it was the unfinished business between the two of you or the lingering feelings that would always remain. But you had decided to blame it on your vulnerability, the stupid billboard light and the beers shared between the two of you.

Whatever it was, you didn’t want it to stop.

“I think I really could’ve loved them.” Vernon let out a sigh and sat back, his hand squeezing your calf. “Maybe not in the way I loved you, but in a way that could’ve been special between the two of us. I talked to them almost every day and each time I found my heart jumping out of my chest. It was as if I was a kid in high school again scared to comfort their crush.” He sighed and looked up at the sky, silently counting the tiny little dots of light that could’ve been stars or planets from universes across.

You watched him carefully, finally taking in how much he had changed from the last time you saw him. He had grown out a little bit of stubble, slight bags stood underneath his eyes and his cheeks were red from the sun. A clear indication that he had not once thought of putting on sunscreen and you wondered if he did it to hear your voice nagging him in the back of his mind. Or if he finally felt free to do whatever he wanted. Either way he was different, not just physically but there was something about him you couldn’t pinpoint. And it frustrated you because before you would have been able to read him as if he were your favorite book. Now you had lost a few pages along the way and you didn’t know where to turn too anymore.

“So what happens now?” You whispered tilting your head to the side, the droplets of your forgotten beer running down your fingers. He sighed and looked over at you before reaching over and massaging the creases between your brows. He always scolded you about it, told you your face was a piece of art and didn’t need any extra tension. And although you had never believed him before and brushed it off as a joke, the way he was looking at you as if you were his entire world made you believe him.

“Your guess is as good as mine. I can still see the world in all its glory, the colors haven’t faded and I don’t think they will.” He brought his hand down your face and cradled your cheek gently. “I think they were it for me. I just wish we had more time.” He nodded before running his index finger across your cheek and down the bridge of your nose stopping just above your cupid’s bow. “But can I tell you a secret.” His eyes filled with hope as the words spilled out of his mouth.

“As long as you don’t make me keep it.”

“You will always be my favorite color.”

It was wrong.

The way Vernon’s lips danced against the skin of your neck as he pushed you up against your bedroom door, was wrong. He wasn’t yours anymore and you weren’t his but you felt the flame burn deep inside you. One that had gone out long before the universe took the man in front of you away. You were feeling it again and letting it consume your entire being. You didn’t want it to stop. 

“We have to be quiet.” You moaned out, fingers playing with the hem of your old graphic tee that you were sure had belonged to him. From what you could remember it had smelled like him once and somewhere along the creases he had left his mark.

“Seems a bit challenging for you.” He teased and pulled away, his lips leaving your skin making you feel empty. He smirked and circled his arms around your waist letting them travel down your back and landing on your ass before giving it a squeeze making you yelp in surprise. He chuckled and pulled you close, “Thought you said we needed to be quiet?” He quirked an eyebrow before leaning down letting his lips hover above yours.

“F-Fuck...just kiss me already.” You whimpered and wrapped your arms around his neck and brought his head closer, but he restrained from closing the gap and you let out a desperate whine. “I miss you angel, I miss you so much I don’t think I can hold myself back anymore.” He confessed his words making their way into your heart and locking themselves in. The little voice in the back of your head yelling at you to stop but you pushed it aside, desperate to feel his warmth again.

“Then don’t”

Vernon’s lips crashed onto yours barely letting the words leave your mouth. You could taste the bitter alcohol on his breath, a reminder that neither of you where in the right mind to be doing this. Yet the fire between the two of you grew. You found yourself ignored the flaring alarms going off in your head again as you kissed him back with the same hunger he was kissing you.

He tapped the side of your hip and mumbled an almost incoherent jump and you obeyed, wrapping your legs around his waist while he held you as close as he could. He pushed the two of you away from the door, his lips desperately dancing against yours. The crude sounds the two of you were making bounced off your bedroom walls and you were sure the two of you were being anything but quiet.

Vernon pulled away and carried you over to your desk removing everything he could before setting you down on top of you. You pushed yourself against him letting the back of your hand brush against the collar of his shirt. He smirked and gave it a tiny peck before finally bringing your shirt over your head and throwing it somewhere behind him.

“Still as beautiful as I remember.” He hummed your face heated up as he attacked your neck again. This time making sure he was leaving his mark on you one last time. You threw your head back moaning his name lost in the pleasure he was giving you when your peripherals caught sight of something that made your heart stop.

The faded yellow of the withered sunflower’s Seokmin had given you were now staring at you in disapproval. You felt your breathing regain speed and it wasn’t because of the way Vernon’s lips traveled down the navel of your breasts. No, it was because reality finally decided to hit you and you were once again planted back down onto Earth.

“Vernon stop.” You choked out. The flame inside of you dying and quickly replacing itself with the poison fear brought with it. Vernon stopped his movements and pulled away as fast as he could. You saw the concern wash over his soft features as his eyes ran all over your face. “What happened, did I do something wrong?” His words raced out of his lungs at the speed of light and he cradled your face in his hands. The tears soon started up again as Seokmin’s laugh rang in your ears. His broken face staring back at you when you had denied him earlier that evening made you feel as if you were the worst human being on planet Earth.

“W-We can’t do this Vernon.” You shook your head trying to avoid his gaze and placed a hand against his chest before pushing him away. Vernon sighed, letting his eyes land on your flower face and somehow he had finally understood what happened. “I know, I’m sorry...I should’ve stopped the minute I kissed you.” His shoulders fell letting the guilt wash over him like a tidal wave. His confession left you broken but he didn’t try to fight you or himself. Instead he created the space you need to breathe and looked around your room for your shirt.

“It’s not your fault. I shouldn’t have egged you on.” You pushed yourself off your desk not caring about the things that had fallen onto the floor and grabbed your shirt from Vernon’s hand. He grinned watching you slip it on before sitting down at the edge of your bed, his forearms resting on his knees.

“We’ve got to be the most fucked up people in this cruel world.” He laughed letting himself fall back onto your bed. You shook your head before sitting down next to him. “Maybe we did something to piss someone off in our past lives and now we’re paying for it.” You shrugged, poking his side lightly making him fold over from the jab that ran through his body.

“Whatever it was...it must’ve been bad.” Vernon mumbled and looked up at your ceiling. The silence raining down over the two of you like a protective shield. Your heart was starting to return to its normal state but the guilt and confusion consumed you greatly. You knew you wouldn’t sleep tonight. You wanted to ask Vernon to stay and keep you company and you almost did as you watched him shut his eyes, peace washing over his body and you wondered what it was like to be held by this new version of him. But you quickly pushed those thoughts aside deciding that there were boundaries you needed to start setting up for both of your sakes.

After all, neither of you belonged to each other anymore.

“Where are you going to sleep?” You finally broke the silence after sitting in it for what felt like hours. He opened his eyes slowly blinking back the sleep as he sat up. “Probably the couch.” He stood up running a hand through his hair before turning to face you. His eyes bore into yours gently and you knew there was something he wanted to tell you but whatever it was it looked like you had to live without knowing because what came out of his mouth was not what you had expected. “I’ll see you in the morning.” He nodded before walking over to your door.

“Goodnight Hansol.” You whispered making him stop dead in his tracks, his birth name falling foreign onto his untrained ears. There was a time in his life where he loved the way your voice danced whenever you said it, but now he realized that he didn’t anymore and that was the hardest pill he would ever have to swallow. So he gave you the gift of a small nod before exiting your room, leaving you behind in your cold bedroom. Your soul felt as if it were in a pool of muddy water and all you wanted to do was call Seokmin, apologize and tell him everything.

“Can you please talk to me?” 

You trailed behind Seungkwan as he pushed the shopping cart into the frozen aisle of the grocery store. 

A week had passed since you accidentally found yourself pinned against your bedroom door with Vernon. A week had passed since the two of you decided to finally start setting boundaries for one another after Seungkwan had scolded the two of you like teenagers on the couch. Since then he had been giving the two of you the silent treatment. A punishment until you and Vernon came to terms with how wrong your actions had been, or so that’s what Seungkwan claimed. 

You knew you had been in the wrong, you knew you should’ve never let it get as far as it did. The disgusting guilt consumed you whenever you saw Vernon wander around the apartment like he owned the place. It tugged on your heartstrings whenever Seungkwan glared at you for standing an inch too close to your ex lover. It feasted upon your flesh whenever you stayed up until the morning dew fogged up your windows, talking to Seokmin. Nothing between the two of you was official yet, and that had been your doing because you couldn’t seem to find a way to confess to him without hurting him and yourself in the process. 

“Nope, not until you tell Dokyeom what happened.” Seungkwan huffed, stopping the shopping cart in front of the frozen pizza freezer. It was your weekly movie night. It had surprised you when Seungkwan brought it up in passing over breakfast that morning because you had assumed with how things were going, and now that Vernon had decided to stay, he would’ve cancelled it. 

“I will, I promise I will. I-I just don’t know how or when.” You walked in front of Seungkwan and opened the freezer door reaching in to grab the triple cheese stuffed crust frozen pizza. “I don’t want to hurt him.” You sighed as you placed down the large box inside of the cart that was filled with an assortment of junk food. 

“That’s the problem BooBoo the fool, you hurt him the second you let Vernon inside your heart again.” He held the freezer door open and reached inside grabbing the frozen hawaiian pizza, making you scrunch your face in disgust. In all the years you had known Seungkwan his taste in pizza was the only flaw he had, though he claimed it was an acquired taste that only the elite understood.

“What am I supposed to do then Kwanie, Vernon will always hold a piece of my heart whether I want him to or not. I spent half a decade loving him and shit like that can’t be forgotten in a few months.” You took liberty in closing the freezer door after Seungkwan had finished grabbing everything else you needed for the movie night. “I feel like you’re being really unfair right now.” 

“I’m not saying you should forget about Vernon, the guys living with us for crying out loud. And he is my best friend, but I’m trying to get you and him to realize that your story together is over and has been for a while. It sucks that the two of you got ripped away from one another, but you know how I always tell you that everything happens for a reason?” Seungkwan glanced over at you while you nodded along to what he was saying, “Then there’s a reason why the two of you were never meant to be.”

“And what reason could that be?”

“Let him go and you’ll find out.”

Whoever reserved Wednesday nights as movie nights, deserves the guillotine. 

Though as much as you hated that they were planted in the smack middle of the week. You will  never complain about it out loud, because you knew it had been your idea to hold them every Wednesday after a very heated argument with Seungkwan that you surprisingly had won. But if you dared to ever mutter out a complaint, he would make sure to never let you hear the end of it. 

“One movie, I have to wake up early for my job interview tomorrow.” You pleaded looking over at the clock that hung over the t.v, that also didn’t work. You had promised you would change the batteries to it months ago but forgotten. You suspected that the only reason Seungkwan hadn’t taken matters into his own hands was because he wanted it to serve as an annoying reminder for you. 

“Wait, you have a job interview?” Vernon exclaimed in surprise as he walked out of the kitchen in a hurry with the pizza box burning his hands. “Yeah, at the school a few blocks away from here.” You shrugged, throwing the pillows you were carrying in your hands onto the makeshift fort the three of you had tried to create. Keyword tired, it was falling apart the more you stared at it. 

“You’re going to be a teacher again?” Vernon’s face lit up as he set down the pizza box onto the coffee table that had been decorated to the T with all the junk food you and Seungkwan brought home. Seungkwan cleared his throat as he came into the living room again, his arms overflowing with all the blankets he could find. He threw them down landing on top of the pillows you had once held in your hands, before crossing his arms in front of him, closely eyeing the two of you.

You rolled your eyes and turned your attention to Vernon who had taken it upon himself to start digging into the hawaiian pizza, “I hope so, a job position opened up last week so I decided to send in my resume and they called me on Monday to schedule an interview.” 

“That’s great--ow, bubs, I’m really happy for you.” Vernon said as he fanned his mouth after stupidly biting into the fresh out of the oven pizza. You nodded and turned to face Seungkwan who was glaring at Vernon while he ate his precious fit for royalty pizza. 

“Let’s hope I get it, nothing is set in stone yet.” 

“They’d be fools to not hire you. You’re amazing. I know they’d fall for you the second they hear how passionate you are about teaching.” Vernon assured as he blew onto his pizza, stopping to look at you for a split second, “I know I did.” He shrugged before tearing his eyes away from yours and taking another bite out of his pizza, making an O shape with his mouth to avoid getting burned again. 

It was strange. If Vernon would have told those exact words last week out on the balcony, you would’ve melted at his feet. You would’ve never stopped him from going any further and you would’ve probably tried to erase Seokmin from your mind. But hearing those words escape Vernon’s pink lips now that he stood in your living room arguing with Seungkwan about hawaiian pizza. His words did nothing for you. They didn’t make your heart race, they didn’t make your palms sweat and they didn’t make your ears flare up in heat. 

The only thing his words did was etch their way into your heart and fill you up with nostalgia, but not the kind that had you longing for his touch. The kind that made you happy that you had once been able to call him yours once. Maybe it was sign or step one of you finally being able to move on.

“Thanks Soli, I’ll keep that in mind.” 

You were pacing in front of the main office for what seemed like hours, trying to calm your nerves down. You figured that moving around was better than sitting still and letting your thoughts race through your head, while you were at stand still. Though pacing wasn’t working either because your interview was scheduled to be at nine and it was nearing ten, and the dirty looks from the receptionist wasn’t helping your case either. 

“Jeonghan I don’t know what you want me to do? I already sat down with the two of them and told them violence is never the answer.” The door to the administration office finally opened making the receptionist sigh out a sign of relief. As you scrambled to collect the stuff you had placed down on the waiting chairs behind you, you made a mental note to apologize to her before you left today. 

“Seokmin don’t worry about it...I’ll contact the parents and see where we can go from there.” You felt the air catch itself in your throat as you slowly turned around to meet a very worried looking Seokmin. He hadn’t noticed you yet and you hoped he wouldn’t because the last thing you needed was to have him running through your mind during your interview. So, you stood there looking like a deer caught in the headlight while he continued chatting with the other man next to him. His voice filled with concern and it made your heart swell knowing how much he seemed to care about the issue at hand. 

“Oh you must be here for the new teacher position right?” An unfamiliar voice sounded making you jump out of your days and thank god it did because you were about to let your mind wander to what having kids with Seokmin would be like. And that was something you weren’t ready to imagine, especially not when he looked good enough to eat in his work clothes.

“U-Um yeah I’m--”

“Sweetheart, what are you doing here?” Seokmin finally noticed you. The excitement in his voice made the heat flare up along your face and you tightened your hold on your things pressing them against your chest,  as your eyes traveled from his sparkling ones to the very shocked ones of the receptionist and finally landing on the man next to him who was out of this world confused. “Sweetheart? You two know each other?” He questioned signaling to the space between you and Seokmin with his index finger. 

“Hannie this is the girl I’ve been telling you guys about.” 

“Oh, the one you never shut up about.” He nodded, sending you a knowing wink. Was there anything worse than your possible future boss finding out you were in cahoots with one of his teacher’s before actually getting the job? Probably not because you were currently wishing for the ground to swallow you up. But it made you feel a little better knowing Seokmin was wishing the same thing, judging from the redness of his cheeks. 

“I-I’m here to get interviewed for the new teacher position.” You nodded reassuring yourself more than anything. “I didn’t know you were a teacher, I thought you owned a pottery studio?” You looked at Seokmin who was cutely rubbing the back of his neck as he giggled underneath his breath. Your heart convulsing and now you weren’t so sure you wanted the job if it meant having your heart erupting out of your chest twenty four seven, seven days a week.

“I do, but Minghao runs it during the week with our other friend Mingyu. Soonyoung and I are in charge of it during the weekends.” He smiled and took a step forward ignoring the looks Jeonghan and the receptionist were giving one another, and somehow you knew this whole situation was going to be the hot topic of the week in the teacher’s lounge. “I’m really glad you’re here.” He finally closed the distance before pulling you in for a hug, “I’ll make sure to put in a good word for you.” He whispered before kissing your temple lightly and pulling away. 

“Alright, lovebird you have a science class to teach and I have an interview to conduct.” Jeonghan voiced shooing Seokmin with his hands making your sweet lover boy laugh. 

“Good luck baby.” Seokmin threw you a kiss before exiting the main office, the door closing in behind him. Leaving you alone and deserted with your smirking future boss and nosey receptionist. Your nerves had subsided to almost nothing but now your mind was consumed with Seokmin and you weren’t sure if you were going to survive your interview without letting your mind wander to the loving future that was creeping up on you. 

Jeonghan huffed and turned on his heels signaling for you to follow him, “I hope you know that just because my best friend and one of my teachers is head over heels for you, doesn’t mean you get special treatment. I still need to make sure you’re right for the job, and let me tell you sweetheart you have competition.”

“I didn’t expect you to go easy on me anyway.” 

Jeonghan closed the file he had in front of him before lacing his fingers together on top of them and leaned forward, eyeing you closely. “Can I give you some advice?” Jeonghan titled his head, his glasses that didn’t have lenses sliding off the bridge of his nose. The entire time he was interviewing you had tried your best to not laugh at his ridiculous antics. But seeing as this was your first and most likely last time you were going to see him, you figured that you would keep it to yourself for now.

“U-Um yeah...of course.” You rushed out a little too eagerly, your nerves once again getting the best of you. They had been in control for the twenty minutes Jeonghan had been interviewing you, but now as he stared you down, you felt your nerves coming crashing down like an ocean wave.

“I’m hesitant on hiring you, your track record is spotless and you’re probably the best candidate for the job--” He sighed and ran a bony hand through his dark hair while leaning back in his chair. You knew your rejection was coming but you didn’t expect it to be so soon. You were hoping to at least make it home cry about how awful your interview had gone before burying yourself in a pint of cookie dough ice cream while Seungkwan lectured you all whilst simultaneously trying to keep your hopes up.

“--But I don’t know how I feel about two of my teacher’s dating, especially if you’re going to have the evidence on full display.” He raised his pen and pointed to the side of your neck where you knew Vernon’s evidence was still on you, a reminder of the sin you had committed a week ago. Your eyes grew wide as you panicked and slapped your hand on the side of your neck. A smirk appeared on Jeonghan’s face as he smugly crossed his arms in front of him. The realization hit you a little too late because now it became clear that he was only testing you and sadly you had failed.

“I’m sorry, um...I--I.” You shook your head, your hand falling down slowly and landing on your lap. There was nothing you could say in order to fix your mistake, you could only hope that Jeonghan wasn’t one of those people who loved to gossip because the last thing you wanted was to ruin a relationship that hadn’t gotten the chance to blossom. “Can you please not tell Seokmin.” A soft whisper fell from your lips, aware that you were throwing yourself under the bus, but what else could you do?  You had already lost the job, you didn’t want to lose Seokmin as well, at least not yet.

“Ah, so it’s not from Dokyeom...bummer I was ready to tease him about it all week..” He shrugged and leaned his elbows on his desk along with his body. “So you’re two timing him? And here I was starting to believe that our precious Dokyeom had finally found love.” He tsked, shaking his head, “I must say I’m incredibly disappointed, I thought I was the cruel one.” 

“No, no, no, it’s not like that, it’s just--,” Your hands had started to shake on your lap, underneath Jeonghan’s amused stare. “--it’s complicated, more than you can imagine.” The confession stumbled out and you heard him let out a dry laugh. 

“I have no doubt in my mind that whatever the situation is, is not an easy one but I suggest figuring your shit out before roping in one of my friends. Dokyeom has been through enough and I have no idea how he still keeps that smile of his on his face knowing the shit he’s been through.”

“I know, I’m sorry, I know you don’t believe me but I have been trying.” 

“You’re right I don’t but I’m also not the one that needs to believe you.” He shrugged standing up from his chair and rounded the corner of his desk, stopping in front of you and leaning against it. “This isn’t a conversation you and I need to have, and all I ask of you is to have it with the person that’s meant to hear your words.” 

“You’re right, I’m sorry,” you nodded and smoothed down the wrinkles of your dress. “Thank you for the interview.” 

“Cheer up princess.” He laughed and extended his hand in front of him for you to take. You looked up at him hesitantly before grabbing his hand and letting him pull you up. “You got the job.” He smiled before letting go of your hand and walking towards his office door leaving you behind as you tried to figure out if you heard him right. “Now come on it’s almost lunchtime, I’m starving and we have a ton of paperwork to sign.”

“Wait you’re not shitting me are you?” 

“If I was, I would’ve told you to leave the second you answered my first question, now let’s go.” He signaled you over while opening the door. You scrambled tripping over the leg of the chair you had just been sitting in making him roll his eyes. Now you understood why he had called himself the cruel one because Yoon Jeonghan was quite literally the reincarnation of the devil. 

“Excuse my language but you’re an asshole.” 

“I’ve been called worse sweetheart.” 

“Are we celebrating?” Seungkwan’s voice excitedly boomed through the speaker of your phone as you climbed up the steps of your apartment building. After you had gone through the mountain of paper’s that Jeonghan and the school district had you signing. You had declined his offer on having lunch with him and all the other teachers, giving him the poor excuse of already having lunch plans with your best friend. You could tell he wanted to say something but instead he bid you farewell before telling you to come over on Friday after school for a tour of the school, as well as to show you where your classroom was going to be. “Please tell me we’re celebrating, I already sent Hansol to buy the cake, the streamers, balloons, champagne and the pizza.” 

“I get my classroom on Friday and I start next Wednesday.” You voiced while punching in the code to enter your building, the buzzer sounded indicating that you could enter the lobby. You heard screaming from the other side of the phone followed by shushing noises. “Focus on your job Kwanie.” 

“But this is more exciting,” He whined, making you shake your head in disbelief. If Seungkwan wasn’t the best entertainment lawyer at his firm you were sure he would’ve been fired ages ago. “How’d the interview go, I’m guessing good because now you’re employed.”

“It went awful, trust me I was expecting to still be unemployed.” You pressed the button to the elevator, watching as the numbers counted down slowly. The anticipation of getting into your bed again was killing you as the numbers got closer to the ground floor. “Then how do you have a job now?” Seungkwan questioned before letting out a gasp at the same time the elevator dinged announcing it’s rival. “You didn’t...you know, do inappropriate things to get the job did you?” 

“I’m offended that you’ve known me for years and yet still think so lowly of me.” You entered the elevator and pressed the number to your floor, leaning against the elevator railings and watched as the doors closed in front of you. “Of course I didn’t.”

“I don’t know after what happened last week, I feel like I don’t know you anymore.” 

“Jeonghan lectured me already about this after my interview. I don’t need you hanging it over my head again.” 

“Wait bubs, who’s Jeonghan.”

“Oh, my boss.” The elevator stopped and slowly opened its doors. You pushed yourself off the wall and walked out, bringing your purse in front of you to fish out the keys to your apartment. “I think you two would get along, you're both equally as cruel.” 

“I don’t know if that’s a compliment or an insult, but I don’t have time to be offended because now I’m just confused. How does he know?” 

“Surprise! Seokmin is my co-worker and I ran into him before my interview--”

“He’s your coworker and your future baby daddy. This is wild bubs I would not like to have a love story like yours… no offense.” 

“Whatever Kwanie, the point is the demon that is my ex boyfriend left a hickey on me last week and it still hasn’t gone away. So my boss saw, lectured me about it and somehow I ended up with the job.” You sighed, dropping your key back into your purse and pushed your already opened front door with the toe of your shoe. Vernon always had a habit of never closing the door completely and it had terrified you a few times, especially when word got around that there was a serial robber on the loose in the area the two of you used to live in. 

“Maybe you heard wrong, are you sure you got the job?” Seungkwan questioned and you could almost picture the raise of his eye brow along with his scold. “This doesn’t sound like you got the job to me, maybe you should call them just to make sure.” 

“I got it, I already signed all the paperwork.” You shook your head toeing off your shoes, noticing that Vernon’s vans were missing, which meant he still wasn’t home and you had maybe a few minutes of peace to yourself.

“This all sounds a little too suspicious now, but congratulations I’m proud of you...I guess.” 

“Thanks you’re the best, I’ll call you later I think I’m going to shower so I can contemplate all my life choices.” You said holding your phone between your ear and shoulder as you placed your stuff down on top of the kitchen counter. “Also pizza two days in a row are you okay?”

“I’m fine, can’t say the same thing about you though.” He scoffed. “I’m going now I hope your shower makes you realize how stupid you have been lately.” He spoke before hanging up without letting you get a word in. Sighing you brought the phone down from your ear setting it down next to you. Your thoughts were jumbled and jumping around from one thing to another. You wished you weren’t so scared of confessing something to someone, especially if that someone was starting to become the reason why you kept waking up and getting out of bed every passing day. But you also knew you were hurting him more letting the days pass and keeping him in the dark. Needless to say your life had become a mess in the span of a few months and some days you found yourself wondering how you could return it. 

Jeonghan told me…

Your phone buzzed making you jump. You grabbed it quickly watching as Seokmin’s contact name stared at you brightly, along with his message making your heart race. You cursed at yourself for trusting that the snake would keep your secret sealed behind his thin lips. And maybe he had hired you out of spite but whatever it was you were already typing your overdue apology in hopes you could at least salvage the tiny piece of Seokmin’s heart that he had selfishly given to you. 

Congratulations baby, dinner on Friday to celebrate?

Your fingers stopped as you let out an embarrassing sigh of relief, silently apologizing to Jeonghan. Quickly you erased the few sentences you had managed to write out before typing out a reply. You weren’t sure what spirit had possessed you but, who's ever it was, gave you the confidence you needed to hit send, because you knew what you were about to do was going to possibly ruin whatever relationship you had with Seokmin or save it. But you were tired of walking on eggshells not only around him but also around Vernon. He needed to know and you needed to finally let go. 

I’ll cook, I want you to meet some people.

Vernon walked into the apartment with everything Seungkwan had sent him out to get before leaving for work that morning. The bags he had been carrying for blocks were cutting the circulation in his arms, his fingers burning sweetly from the plastic. How they hadn’t fallen dead on the sidewalk a couple of blocks back was a mystery to him, and in truth the pain didn’t bother him until now, while he toe-d off his shoes as fast as possible. He felt his arms start to give up so he dropped them, like he usually did and let out an enormous sigh of relief. The circulation coming back into his arms at a rapid rate. 

He stretched his hands out mumbling incoherently. Coming to a stop when he saw your distressed form leaning against the fake marble of the kitchen counter. Phone clutched tightly in your palm, breaking the circulation, much like the plastic bags had done to him. Before, he could stop myself, he ran over to you. Stumbling over his shoes. The groceries and the tingling feeling on his fingers, from the blood returning to them, long forgotten. All he could think about was you and what was going through your mind. 

Without hesitation he wrapped his arms around your waist, burying his face into your neck as he felt your body grow stiff against his. The pang hitting him like a wave of unwanted air giving his heart a run for its money. “Are you okay?” He whispered bringing you close, hoping his comfort would somehow bring you at ease. He was never really good at comfort. He had learned that early on in your relationship, but he always tried as best as he could. Affection had been his major weak point, but now that he had lost you it had become his strongest suit. 

“No Vernon, I’m not.” You swallowed the lump of anger that had been lodged into the back of your throat before gripping his arms with your hands and prying them off. Vernon was taken back, the void returning to his chest and you tried your best to shoulder past him. “You almost costed me my job today.” His arms fell at their sides, your words catching him off guard.

No matter how many arguments the two of you had had during your past relationship, he had never heard you use this before. The venom became permanent, interweaving itself with the strings of your vocal chords and for the first time he had realized that he had finally lost you. 

“Me?” He questioned, standing dumbfounded. A shaking finger coming to view pointing to his chest. “What do you mean I almost ruined your chances at you getting a job. I’ve only been home and at the grocery store?” 

Vernon ran a wary hand through his dark looks, the confusion written all over his face when you glanced at him and pushed past him a little too forcefully. He tried to recall anything he could’ve done for you to look at him in such an unpleasant way, but his mind came to a halt stopping in front of a white wall. All he could remember was trying his best to stay away from you and failing. 

Every night he sat in front of your bedroom door while you talked on the phone for hours. He missed the sound of your laugh. He knew it was never going to be directed towards him anymore, but he would never get tired of it. At least it was a distraction, as unpleasant as it may have been at times. His life was ruined and his search for cheap apartments big enough for himself was starting to become a bust. 

He wasn’t stupid. As much as you and Seungkwan had tried to mask your distaste for his return. He knew he wasn’t welcomed and he was made more aware of it now that he could feel your anger caging him in. 

“This Vernon!” You yelled as he came out of his daze. His eyes widened when he saw you unbutton the first few buttons of your blouse, the nude of your bra peeking out making him swallow thickly. “This is why I was almost not hired today.” You pointed at the faded hickeys he had left behind. A year ago he would’ve smirked while making a slick comment before attacking you. The giggle would fall out of your lips as he led you to the couch while he deepened the lovebites he had previously made. 

Now he stayed put, watching the angry tears fall from your eyes and instead of feeling sorry. He was now starting to shed his calm composure letting it get replaced by a year’s worth of anger. He let it consume him, because he had had enough. 

It wasn’t fair.

It wasn’t fair that you and Seungkwan were faulting him for something that hadn’t been entirely his fault. 

“Did you get undressed in order to get the job? Were you really that desperate. Did he not like the fact that you were whoring yourself around when he saw another man’s mark on you?” He spat out, barely processing what he had said. His fist balling up at his sides while yours did the same thing. “I knew you were capable of things but this is a new low that I should’ve seen coming.” 

Vernon had never once said anything hurtful to you, he had given  silent treatments, left the house in fits of rage; but never anything hurtful. You were caught by surprise, your heart beating out of your chest angrily and tears flowed at a rapid rate. This was a new side of him and you supposed he was also seeing a new side of you. It made you wonder if you had truly known one another as well as you once prided yourself in. 

You forcefully threw down your stuff onto the coffee and took fast, long strides over to him. “Fuck you Vernon, I wish I had never met you.” You forced out jabbing your index finger into his chest as hard as you could, hoping you’d be able to hurt him even further like he had done to you. 

He stayed, not budging, looking down at you with an overwhelming amount of disgust. “You’ve ruined my life.” The whisper escaped your lungs before you could stop it, but the damage had already been done. The two of you had been stripped off of everything, left with nothing. Two once perfect colorful arrays of canvases now painted white. What more did you have to lose?

“And you’ve ruined mine.” He emphasized, making sure each word, each syllable was laced with the same amount of poison he was being consumed with. He wanted them to take a piece of your soul. The same way yours did with his.

It was the final blow he needed to deliver to finally be able to walk out of your life for good. To finally forget the way your presence had his heart doing somersaults. To finally realize he was and had never been yours to begin with. 

Vernon shook his head in disbelief blinking back the angry tears. He grabbed your wrist and slowly peeled your fingers away from his shirt he hadn’t noticed you were clinging onto. His body was shaking just like yours. Emotions he was now experiencing for the first time consuming him slowly. He pushed you away gently, a stark contrast from the hurtful words he had said earlier and quickly made his way to the front door. Hastily putting on his shoes, mumbling underneath his breath. He ignored the groceries again, and tripped over every miscellaneous item that was decorating the floor as he opened the front door. 

Déjà vu hit you like a tsunami, shaking arms wrapped around your torso, sobs falling out of your mouth as you watched him leave just like you had many times before. This time he didn’t love you enough to want to come back. 

When the world had once still revolved around you and Vernon, your fights would never last as long as this one had. It had lasted two days and six hours, but who’s counting? 

You were avoiding one another like the plague not wanting to admit fault. 

“Are you spaced out again?” Seokmin’s voice sounded through the speaker of your phone. You don’t know when the nightly facetime calls became routine, but they were the only thing you look forward to now. Especially after the nasty argument with Vernon two days and six hours ago. 

“Sorry Min.” You shake your head and turn to the side bringing your blanket up to your chin. “What were you saying again?” 

“I’m sorry we had to move dinner to tomorrow night, I forgot I had to babysit my nephew.” He pouted at the camera before turning his attention back to washing the dishes he had used for dinner. 

Since the two of you hadn’t been able to physically have dinner together to celebrate, you figured that having dinner with him through facetime was better than nothing. To keep him company of course and not because he filled the void you had been feeling for days on end. 

The entire time you were holed up in your room and witnessed how gentle he was when it came to his nephew. It made the butterflies in your stomach dance to the beat of their own drums. Once again you found yourself pushing the thought of Seokmin and children away. It was too soon. 

“Don’t apologize, I enjoyed watching you struggle with Minjae. Personally, baby, I’m a fan of when he calls you Min Min.” Seokmin laughed. His smile reached both ends of his face as he turned the faucet off. He dried his hands on a kitchen towel before grabbing his phone. “When I went to put him to bed he said you were pretty...and I mean he’s not wrong you’re gorgeous sweetheart.” He winked making the apples of your cheeks heat up with the light pink of baby flower petals.You watched as he shut off the lights and walked out of his kitchen, trudging silently through the hallway before reaching his room. 

“Since we’re alone now,” he started shutting the door to his room, “You want to tell me what’s been bothering you for the last few days?” He finished. The small complaint falling out of your lips as you hid underneath your blanket. It was amazing how in such a short amount of time Seokmin had been able to read you like a book from start to finish. 

It had taken Vernon a full year to be able to decipher the hidden meaning behind your words.

Vernon...you hated how much he was consuming your thoughts. Even when Seokmin was around. It felt like a curse with no cure. “Just got into a small argument with an old friend.” 

“Have you tried talking to them?” Seokmin walked around before placing his phone down and unbuttoning the first few buttons of his shirt. “You won’t be able to fix anything if the two of you haven’t talked.” 

“I can’t Seokmin, I said some hurtful things to him and honestly I shouldn’t have said them. I was angry over a situation that wasn’t entirely his fault.” You sighed, removing the blanket from your head and flopping down on your back. “If he didn’t hate me before he does now.” 

“I don’t know what happened with your friend, but I don’t think he hates you. Just try and talk to him and clear the air.” He nodded before laying down on his bed, grabbing the pillow and hugging it. “It doesn’t hurt to at least try.” 

You smiled and nodded. He looked breathtaking underneath the dim light of his room, “If you’re going to be right all the time, I think I might want a refund...again”

“Don’t say that baby...I’ll let you be right on odd days.” 

Saturday night came faster than you had anticipated and somehow you had managed to burn spaghetti. 

Your day had been awful and you were hoping that when nightfall came everything would’ve gotten better. Your wish had fallen on to deaf ears because you had burned spaghetti, Vernon was acting like a grade A asshole, and Seungkwan was ignoring you. 

When Seokmin had arrived. On time. He had found you scrambling in the kitchen trying to remake your famous (easy) pasta dish. Seungkwan and Vernon were arguing over the correct way to set a table...it was chaos.

 Neither of them were correct but you didn’t care enough to correct them. They weren’t talking to you either way. 

When you had managed to finally finish dinner. With the help of Seokmin. He had insisted after he saw how stressed out you looked, the four of you sat in complete silence. Seokmin at your side, holding your hand underneath the table, Vernon eyeing him down like he was his prey and Seungkwan mindlessly scrolled through his phone. The clinking of utensils and your heavy breathing was the only thing that was heard. 

You wanted to die. 

“Um...so I know Seungkwan, but I don’t know you. I’m Seokmin.” He nodded in Vernon’s direction before taking a bite of his pasta. You watched as Seungkwan locked his phone and put it down. His eyes traveled between the two male figures before they settled on yours and you watched as he slightly shook his head.

“I know who you are, you’re the one that she stays up talking to.” He signaled in your direction before setting down his fork and leaning into his chair, crossing his arms in front of him. “I’m Hansol but you can call me Vernon.” 

“Cool...so Vernon, how do you know each other?” Seokmin let go of your hand. The warmth and ease you had felt disappearing as you saw the two of them eye each other. As far as you could tell Vernon wanted to eat Seokmin alive and Seokmin was simply driven by his curiosity. “Did you just move in?” 

Vernon laughed bitterly before pushing his half eaten plate away from him. “You haven’t told him?” He questioned. The amused evil glint adorning his soft eyes. A look you had never once seen him give anyone and now that it was directed towards you. You were terrified. 

“Hansol don’t!” Seungkwan warned. You felt Seokmin’s body stiffen next to you as he looked over at you, an eyebrow raised. “So we’re just going to sit here and pretend we’re one big happy family when we’re all miserable because of her.” Vernon spat out digging his burning gaze into yours. You jumped and looked over at Seokmin who had retreated into himself. His eyes were burning holes into the pasta in front of him. 

“Min I-I can ex-” 

“What does he mean, what is he talking about?” Seokmin interrupted and pushed his plate away from him. Your appetite was gone and you could only assume everyone else was feeling the same way. 

“Tell him. Why don’t you tell him how you were moaning my name a few days ago just like you had done for the past five years.” 

You panicked, your body shaking in intervals of five and you tried to look for anything to say but your lies had finally caught up to you. The only thing you could do was drown and keep drowning, just like you had been doing before Seokmin came into your life and pulled you out of the water. Now you were pushed into it again and this time you were positive no one was going to risk themselves to save you.“Seokmin w-wait please.” You threw your napkin on the table and stood up, the corners landing into the pasta sauce as you turned to face Seokmin. You extended your arm to grab his hand, only for him to pull it back, ”You were just toying with me.” The legs of the chair scraping against the hardwood floor made you jump. Your body going into survival mode. “I saw the marks on you but I just assumed I had accidentally gotten carried away.” 

“You fucked him too, wo-” 

“Vernon, shut up for once please.” You yelled. Your world came crashing down again just like it had on that winter night; in front of the infamous coffeeshop. Both times had been Vernon’s fault. 

“I-I can’t be here.” Seokmin whispered, running a bony hand through his perfectly styled hair, causing it to messily stick out in random places. He sighed before pushing his char in forcefully as he gathered the few things he had brought with. He stepped on the soles of his shoes, not caring about how uncomfortable he felt. The only thing that was running through his mind was how he needed to get out and far away from you as possible. 

“Why can’t you guys let me handle things at my own pace. I was gonna tell him this is why I invited him but I didn’t want him to find out like this.” You shouted, making Seungkwan and Vernon to look at you as if you were a deer and they were the headlights. You shook your head and stood up running past them and the kitchen towards the door that Seokmin had left wide open. Your vision had gone blurry and you opted out at putting on your shoes. It would be a waste of time and you needed to get to him before he left. You were tired of not fighting for what you wanted and you wanted Seokmin enough that it hurt. 

“M-Min please wait! Let me explain.” Seokmin stopped as he was halfway down the first flight of stairs. 

“I understood. I told you I would wait for you because I knew something had happened to you. Yet I never pushed you to tell me. I started to fall for you, only to find out that you didn’t care that you never cared. T-That there was someone else.”

“I-It’s not like that.” You ran down the flights of stairs, ignoring the small pebbles digging into the skin of your feet. “H-Hansol was my soulmate, bu-”

“Was?”

“Yes Seokmin he was my soulmate, please just give me a chance to explain everything.” You grabbed his hand and brought it up to your heart that was going a mile a minute. “We aren’t together and haven’t been together for a year...i-it’s just complicated.” You pleaded. 

“But you slept with him right after our date I’m guessing?” 

“I-I...a...Seokmin please just let me explain. I didn’t sleep with him. When you left he was here and we talked and then one thing led to another but I stopped him because of you. Because I had the most amazing ti-”

“Is that supposed to make me feel better because it doesn’t.” He rolled his eyes and pulled his hand back, stuffing both of them into the pockets of his coat. Goosebumps rose against your skin. You blamed the cool wind of the beginning autumn months but you were very well aware that it was because of the coldness behind Seokmin’s comforting eyes. “Do you still love him?” 

“M-Min I-I...um. I-” 

“God, I really don’t want to look at you right now, I w-wished I h-had never met you.” He whispered. 

Your knees gave up at the realization of his confession and you fell down onto the concrete step of the stairs. You were numbly looking at his worn out shoes as he stood there wordlessly, broken sounds leaving his perfect lips. A breeze blew and you shivered, “I-I’m sorry.” You whispered before he turned around and started down the rest of the flights of stairs leaving you behind. 

When Vernon left, you were heartbroken. 

When Seokmin left, you wanted to die. 

It’s unclear how you made it back into your apartment on the couch under a plethora of blankets, shivering, teeth clattering against one another. You weren’t sure how long you had been out in the cold waiting, hoping for Seokmin to come back and take you into his arms. To hold your shivering body close to his warm one, while whispering the three words you longed to hear most. 

I forgive you.  

That hadn’t been the case though. You sat out there waiting on the concrete steps as the bitter cold overtook your body, until you couldn’t feel your bones anymore. In the midst of your unwavering head, you had lost track of time. And now you are sitting on your couch, listening to soft shuffles of rushed feets and hushed arguments. Tears frozen onto the apples of your cheeks, staring at the blank wall that sat behind the television set. 

“Hey,” Seungkwan’s voice sounded distant as he tried grabbing your attention, shaking you gently. 

The inside of your head was a mess, the files of all your memories going up in flames. You wanted out of your head, to look at Seungkwan’s face morphed with concern. You wanted to cry into his arms just like you had done many times before but you were done. You had let other people deal with your problems for you instead of facing them head on. So, you ignored him and his soft voice to stare at the blank wall. At least the wall wouldn’t be used by you. 

“I ran you a bath, come on.” He placed his palm on your back rubbing it up and down in a soothing manner. You cringed, shrugging his touch away and wrapped the blankets around yourself tighter, retrieving into yourself. “You’re going to freeze to dea-”

“I deserve it.” You mumbled. A tear trickled down your cheek and you looked down at your shivering hands. He was right, the color from your skin had been drained due to the bone chilling cold from the start of the winter months. But you liked wallowing in the numbness, it served as a reminder of how much you truly fucked up. 

“You don’t, now come on before you force me to carry you, you know how weak my back has been lately and you would be doing me a great disservice if I have to carry you all the way to the bathroom.” He said pointedly and tugged on your hands as he stood up taking you along with him. The blankets fell from your shoulders, taking residency on the couch. Seungkwan walked the two of you away from the couch, one of his hands on your back the other holding your arm tightly and tentatively. Almost as if he was afraid that you’ll escape and habituate yourself on the couch again. Your point of focus from the wall was no more, now you were staring around the silent apartment. Your eyes landed on the dinner table, where everything had been left untouched, like nothing had happened. And you wondered if ten minutes had gone by instead of an hour, just like you had presumed. 

The sound of rushing water brought you back to your senses as you and Seungkwan entered the bathroom. The lights were dimmed and he had set up the stress relieving candles the two of you had bought on a whim one Sunday afternoon. It was moments like these when you realized you didn’t deserve to have a friend like Seungkwan. A friend would drop everything and be at your side in seconds at the mumble of the first syllable of his name. Once again you were reminded how much better he deserved. 

“I-I’m sorry.” You whispered watching him through the fogged out mirror. His long fingers toying with the tiny zipper of your dress, unzipping it slowly, careful not to place his cold palms against your already freezing skin. In a different scenario you would’ve made a sexual innuendo about him seeing you naked, even though he had many times. The two of you lived together and the amount of times either of you had accidentally sleepily walked in on each other either changing or showering was almost laughable. At some point it had become so natural that neither of you strayed away from uninterested pairs of eyes. 

“For what?” He raised a brow at you through the mirror. Your dress had now fallen onto the floor leaving you in your matching bra and underwear set. Your arms wrapped tightly around your stomach as you turned around to look at him. 

“E-Everything, I’m the w-worst person ever and here you are t-treating me like a delicate flower. I-I don’t deserve you or Vernon or S-Seokmin.” You sniffed blinking rapidly to keep the tears at bay. It was a miracle that you hadn’t ran out of tears considering how much you cried daily. At least three times a week. 

Seungkwan let out a laugh and hugged you tightly, his hands brushing the hair away from your face, “You aren’t the worst person ever, right now you might not be your own favorite person or the favorite person of a certain individual.” He pulled back and flicked your forehead gently making you pout, the tears still free falling down your cheeks, his thumbs brushing them away. “I can name a few others that are way worse than you, now get in the bath before I seriously drown you.” Seungkwan treated placing a soft kiss against your forehead. “Sometimes I wish I could take away yours and Vernon’s pain.” 

“Then you’d be weighted down even more by pain that doesn’t belong to you.”

“If it gets the two of you smiling again, I’d take the risk any day.”  

Seungkwan always keeps true to his word.

While he was aggressively washing your hair, he almost did try to drown you and you had never been more scared for your life. 

“This is the last time I let you take care of me.” You pouted bringing your knees up to your naked chest, sending him an almost threatening glare. The tears had stopped along with your shivering, but now you could finally feel the emptiness inside of you. 

 “That’s gonna be hard, I like taking care of you. It’s like my hobby.” He flashed you a smile before turning his attention back to his almost empty wine glass. You sighed, placing your cheek against your knees watching as he poured himself another generous amount of the overly expensive wine you had bought solely for that night. 

“That’s the problem, you shouldn’t like to take care of me, you should’ve kicked me out after my third month here.” You grabbed the bottle from his hand and took a sip from it, cringing at the taste as it traveled down your throat burning slightly. For it to be so expensive you were expecting it to be crafted using grapes sent down from the heavens, but the wine from your corner store was a lot better. Maybe this is where you had gone from in the first place. You had tried to be something you weren’t for Seokmin. Tried to put up a front until you were ready to show him the real you. A foolproof plan that ended up backfiring in the end. You should’ve known. 

“Do you remember the first time we met?” Seungkwan took the bottle from your hand and placed it on the floor. He turned to look at you tugging his knees underneath him and leaned an elbow against the edge of the bathtub. 

“Yeah, it was New Year’s and you were spending it with Hansol’s family because you and your family weren’t on best terms.” You looked away from his glossy eyes and down at the water surrounding you. You dipped a pruned finger into the water creating a small ripple in the once warm, now lukewarm water. 

“Do you remember what you said to me that night before the clock struck twelve.” 

You swished your finger around in the water, watching the ripples grow bigger and bigger, your face breaking into a small smile. The first one you had let decorate your face since everything happened. “I said that whenever I felt down I would always think of you because every time I saw you around campus you always had a smile plastered on your face and your head held high.” You said placing your palm against the water surface and then pushing against it watching as the water swallowed your head. 

“Do you know how much your words meant to me?” He put down his glass on the edge of the bathtub, “I was going through the worst period of time in my life, my relationship with my family was strained, I was failing my classes and the person I was in love with was getting married but your words helped me get through that time in my life. And that’s why I choose to be there for you always...because you were there for me.” 

“Seungkwan I-.” He held his hand up, stopping you from speaking a distant smile plastered on his face as he grabbed the towel next to him and dipped his hand into the bathtub unclogging the drain, creating a tiny whirlpool. 

“I know you’re going to tell me that you were drunk and that your words didn’t deserve to have such an impact on me, and that you still don’t deserve my help, but I don’t want to hear it.” He tapped your shoulder signaling for you to stand, in which you obeyed. You watched silently as he wrapped your towel around you tightly, tiny water droplets chasing down your bare arms and legs. “No matter what happens to you, you will always be able to count on me no matter how annoying I might find you sometimes. I will always be there for you, is that clear?” He finished sternly before wrapping his arms around you, hugging you not carrying that you were getting his only designer shirt wet. 

“Crystal.”

“Can I ask you a question?” You beamed up at Seungkwan as he tugged you into bed after helping you dry your hair for an hour. If it were up to you, you would’ve gone to sleep right after you changed into your pajamas, but Seungkwan insisted with a nagging finger on drying your hair because “You should never go to sleep with your hair wet unless you want to wake up sick.” Or so he claimed. 

“Am I going to have to write a dissertation in order to answer it?” He sat down on the edge of his bed, tugging a leg underneath him, resting his elbow against his thigh, his chin the palm of his hand. 

“Nope but you might get mad at me for asking it.” You grinned, positioning your body to the side in a fetal position. Seungkwan rolled his eyes, mumbling how all his hard work in tugging you in had gone to waste and giving you the go head with a small nod of his head. 

“Where’s Vernon?” 

Seungkwan rolled his eyes before leaning over to turn your light off. “I don’t know. After he brought you inside he ran out saying he had somewhere to be.” He turned the switch leaving the two of you in darkness and silence. “Why do you ask?” 

“I want to beat him up for being a jerk.”

“I’ll film it.” 

The brightness of the morning sun made you stir in your sleep, making you wish you had listened to Seungkwan when he had suggested that you buy black out curtains, instead of the sheer ones you bought. With a heavy sigh you felt around your bed looking for your phone knowing very well you hadn’t plugged it in to charge. You wanted the battery to drain out that way you wouldn’t anxiously be waiting for a phone call or text that was never going to come. 

Frustrated due to the realization you continued your search, digging your palm into your sheets letting them melt between your fingers, wishing the other side of your bed wasn’t cold and empty. But the one person you wanted to be next to you didn’t want anything to do with you anymore. 

“Why are you pulling on my hair?” 

Your hand came back to you faster than a lightning bolt and you sat up, eyes wide as saucers as you looked down at the last person you were expecting. “Why are you here?” You brought the sheets up to your shirts, covering your arms that were adorned with the thin strap of the tank top you had used to sleep. 

Vernon buried his face in your sheets, giving himself a moment to recover from being woken up in such an unpleasant way. He had arrived home two hours ago, took his shoes off in a hurry and rushed to your room. He was met with your sleeping form. Limbs splayed out in all directions, your sheets sliding off your body taking up residency on your bedroom floor.

He smiled feeling the nostalgia take over his body like a poisonous drink. He longed to wake up next to you, with the sheets missing and your arm draped his face, while silent snores fell out of your mouth as you stayed sleeping without a care in the world. He looked forward to those mornings. Especially when he was losing you because it was the only time that felt like nothing was happening. The only time he wouldn’t have to avoid looking at you for fear of breaking down whenever he saw the hurt in your eyes. And as you had slept after the shit show that had happened earlier that night, albeit all his fault. He found himself longing for those few seconds of silence as he watched you sleep. 

So, he moved through your room with caution, dodging the specs of light coming in through your window. He picked up your from the floor and carefully placed them on top of you again before sitting down on the floor. His elbow on your bed, chin resting on the palm of your hand and he watched you sleep. The tears prickling in the corners of his eyes, this would be the last time he would be seeing you. At least for a while. He wanted to take everything in, engrave the image of your sleeping face in his mind so he wouldn’t forget about it for a while. 

Unaware he had fallen asleep, and now here he was. His heart thumping out of his chest feeling your eyes dig themselves into the side of his head. He could only be honest, his intentions weren’t malicious to begin with, and lying to you always tore him apart. “I came to say goodbye.” He whispered, raising his head. He brought his hands up to his eyes and diligently rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. His vision grew spotty from how hard he had rubbed them. 

“Oh...where are you going?” You sat up, resting your back against the headboard. It surprised you how soft your voice sounded as it left your mouth and you could tell it had surprised him too. You like him were expecting the coldness, but instead both of your ears were met with warmth. 

“I’m moving back into my parents house, until I find my own place. I was selfish in coming here in the first place. I thought that now because I was alone again we could be together again.” He nodded, focusing on your closet door avoiding your face as the words rushed out of his mouth. “I don’t think we should see each other anymore...at least for a while.” He tore his gaze away from the door and turned to his you. “I’m sorry for everything.” 

A veil of silence swallowed your waking bodies, as the rising sun finished its journey and stayed put. The golden hues of the rays illuminated Vernon’s side profile, bringing out the tiny freckles underneath his eyes. They were bloodshot, you could tell he hadn’t slept despite him just waking up, making you feel a little guilty. If you hadn’t prolonged this situation as much as you did then maybe things would’ve been different last night and this morning. Maybe you’d be waking up to Seokmin’s soft touches instead of Vernon’s broken and guilt ridden stare. 

“I wanted you here Vernon.” You whispered, wrapping your arms around your legs, resting your chin on top of your knees. “We’re equally at fault, though you had been acting like an asshole and I’m still a little upset with you. It’s not all your fault.” You nodded, skimming your hand down your covered legs and placed it on top of his. 

Vernon sighed removing his hand from underneath yours, your touch ignited something inside of him. Something he needed to keep at bay in order to let you go once and for all. “I talked to him last night.” He leaned back on his arms, his fingers digging into the fuzziness of your white carpet. He looked at you through his bangs, smiling at the confusion written all over your sleepy face. “Dokyeom, he’s funny.” 

The sound of his name sounded foreign coming out of Vernon’s mouth. You almost convinced yourself you had still been dreaming if it wasn’t for the clattering pans in the kitchen, obviously Seungkwan’s doing. “You’re lying to me again.” 

“I only lied to you once and I regret it every waking moment I see you, but this time I’m not.” He said crossing his jean clad legs underneath him, “I followed him after I brought you back inside, he punched me.” He laughed and pointed to the side of his jaw that had started to form a light bruise, making your brows furrow in concern. “It’s not as bad as it looks, my jaw is still intact, plus I deserved it.” 

“You did. If he hadn’t done I would’ve.”

“Yeah, and it would’ve hurt more coming from you.” He rolled his eyes brushing off the subject with a swipe of his hand against the air, “I apologized to him and he taught me how to make a vase...did you know he’s part owner of a pottery studio?” 

You laughed at the splendor in Vernon’s voice. The awkward air that had been crushing both pairs of lungs subsided, “I did he promised he’d take me one day but I guess it won’t happen now.” You shrugged, a side smile forming against your lips. “I’m a little jealous you got to live out my fantasy.” 

“Yeah his hands are big and muscular and soft, I felt safe in his arms as he taught me how to form the shape.” Vernon joked. You rolled your eyes and grabbed your pillow before hitting him with it, making him groan. “That hurt.” 

“Good, I was hoping it did.” 

“You’re just jealous that he and I share a birthday.” 

“No you don’t.” You pouted and laid down again crossing your arms in front of you like a child. The guilt consumed you once again but this time because you had been so focused with your problems that you hadn’t taken the chance to actually get to know Seokmin. You hadn’t actually tried to get to know him better and you couldn’t blame him for what he had told you last night. If you were in his shoes, you would also regret ever meeting you. 

“What else did he say?” You voiced, untangling your arms and turning your body to face Vernon’s sitting form. He smiled before standing up and brushing the invisible lint balls from his jeans. He extended his hand for your to take, earning a curious stare from you. 

“He wants to see you but first you have to eat breakfast.” 

After a very uneventful breakfast that consisted of Seungkwan’s nagging (out of love) and leftovers. The three of you helped Vernon carry his stuff out to his car. It was a bittersweet feeling, to see the same scenario play out the same way it did almost over a year ago. This time neither of you were hurting and longing for one another. 

“Get in.” Vernon shouted as he closed the trunk of his car, dusting his hands in front of him. He pointed to the passenger seat door, a wide smile on his face as he rounded the corner and opened the door. “I have to take you somewhere.” 

“W-What, but I-I haven’t showered and I’m still in my pajamas.” You looked between Vernon who was holding open the door and Seungkwan who had started looking around, whistling and you realized that whatever Vernon was planning, Seungkwan had been in on it too. 

“You look fine, now get in before I get punched again.”

“Kwanie help me please.” You pleaded grabbing onto the sleeves of his coat. Not knowing what was happening or what was going to happen only added to the stress of last night. 

“I think I left the stove on, I’m going to go save our apartment from burning down.” He winked peeling your fingers from the sleeves of his coat and shoved you towards the car. “Have fun, don’t stay out too late, you still have to clean your room.” He shouted as he turned around and started jogging towards the entrance of the building. 

“I have no choice do I?” You sighed looking at Vernon’s scheming face. He shook his head and signaled you to hurry up with the sudden movement of his hand. “Fine, if I end up dead though I’m coming back to haunt you and Seokmin’s asses.” You mumbled in annoyance, the skin of your legs gaining bumps as a cold breeze blew. 

Vernon waited, holding the door to his car open for you as you quickly got into the passenger seat of his car. While you got in quickly desperately seeking some kind of warmth. “Are you ready?” He closed the door gently once he was sure you were fully inside and buckled up, leaning his elbows against the open window. 

“To be kidnapped, nope. But I have no choice.” 

Vernon stopped his car in front of an unnamed warehouse, unlocked the doors and basically shooed you out of it, “The side door is unlocked.” He said, pointing to an inconspicuous grey door before speeding off and leaving you alone, your heart against your throat. 

You stood there in the middle of the parking lot, the bitter cold wrapping around you like a frozen blanket. And for once in your life you wished you had new friends, preferably ones that wouldn’t leave you in the middle of nowhere, in your pajamas and without a phone. You realized you had left it midway through your silent journey in Vernon’s old car. You had reached over for the volume knob turning it all the way down. The song that belonged to one of the mixtapes he had once made disappeared from his failing speakers.  He had laughed when you told him, “You won’t need it anyway.” He reassured, pressing his foot on the gas as the light turned to an obnoxious yellow. 

Now you were left stranded, cold and fearing for your life, refusing to move from your spot, eyeing the grey door in suspicion and fear. “Come in before you die.” You jumped as the grey door slammed open, revealing a boy with reddish hair and glasses perched on top of his nose, wearing grey paint splattered overalls. You contemplated ignoring him at first but then another cold breeze blew, followed by a few snowflakes and you knew you had no choice, but to follow the boys commands. 

“Who are you?” You questioned as you jogged towards him and then past him, your body engulfed with the warmth of the warehouse, and you let out a sigh of relief. 

“Minghao, I’m one of the owners of this place.” He said after closing the door behind him making you jump slightly at the sound of metal hitting metal. “You know we’re in the middle of winter, not summer.” He said pointedly, eyeing you down. And you felt stupid although your attire hadn’t been your doing. If it had been entirely up to you, you wouldn’t be wearing sleep shorts, a tank top, a thin sweater and soping house slippers. 

“Yeah, it’s a long story.” 

“And I’m sure I’ll hear it one day but your lover boy is waiting behind the curtains.” Minghao smiled and wrapped a black winter coat around your shoulders, rubbing your arms gently before pulling away. “He hasn’t slept, so please tell him too once you finish confessing your love to one another or whatever people do after a fight.” He shoved you lightly towards the creme curtains that separated what seemed like an art room from whatever room was on the other side. 

“Also if you need to do like gross couple stuff, can you do it in his room and not the living room.” He stated before grabbing a paint brush and sitting in front of a half painted canvas. Nothing had taken shape yet and you wondered if that was his intention or if he was stuck and just decided to paint whatever came to his mind. Whatever the reason was, you’d have to wait because the creme colored curtain was whispering your name at a decibel only you could hear begging you to reveal what was on the other side. So, you did, pulling it back harder than you had intended, your breath catching itself in the back of your throat. 

Your eyes traveled around what seemed to be a living room. The navy blue couch had been pushed to the far end of the room, the back resting against the brick wall. A whole wall filled with all the books you could imagine and you found yourself laughably fighting the urge to run your finger tips against all their spines. There was a kitchen, though it looked more like it had never been used, the overflowing sink filled with dishes told you otherwise. And finally sitting in the middle, on a paint splattered dining room table was Seokmin, his bright and pleading eyes taking your attention away from the bags that laid underneath them. A two tier crooked cake sitting in front of him, with the words “I’m sorry,” written in purple icing. 

“Seokmin I-” You started but the words escaped your mouth as your feet mindlessly made your way towards him. For a split second you stood in front of him as he looked up at you, his hands shaking on his lap, and you threw yourself at him, hugging him tightly as you buried your face into his neck taking in his scent. Fearing that this might be the last time you would be smelling it, as it almost was. “I’m so sorry, I should’ve told you sooner, but I got scared. I didn’t want you to think of me as different, as impure, used, b-broken. I-I don’t know.” Your words rushed out almost creating an incoherent sentence against his soft skin. You felt him suck in a breath before wrapping his arms around you tightly, his palms running down your back soothingly. 

“I’m sorry too I wasn’t completely honest with you either. I know how you felt, it wasn’t easy for me when I first lost the person I loved and I wasn’t expecting to find you so soon that day either at the field.” He whispered, kissing your temple gently before pulling back and brushing the loose strands of hair away from your face. “I told you that I’d wait for you but I think I was telling myself that too.” 

“Wait you mean...what...when?” You searched his face for any indication of incenserity but all you found was warmth, longing and love. 

“Around spring of last year, we were by the cherry blossoms when it happened.” He nodded and you felt the sting of colorful swirls erupt inside of you. “They left me that day and I haven’t seen them since.” He finished cradling your face in his hands, looking into your eyes with so much intensity you were sure you would melt. 

“That’s when it happened to Vernon and I.” You placed a palm against your forehead, your blowing out of their sockets because for the first time since that day everything had started to fall into place. 

“He told me last night, we also share a birthday which is crazy.” He said matter of factly, causing a small laugh to escape your lips, “do you think we can maybe start over?” He pouted, brushing the stray tears that had fallen from the corner of your eyes way.

“I’d love nothing more Seokmin.” You whispered and closed the tiny gap between the two of you finally connecting your lips with his, the butterflies erupting in the pits of your stomach. Behind your closed eyelids you could see the colorful burst of emotions harbored deep inside you, turning different shades of blue, purple and pink as the kiss deepened. It was something you had never witnessed before and to say it was overwhelming would be an understatement. You felt on cloud nine and you didn’t want it to stop, but the air was running out of your lungs the quicker the kiss got and you could tell Seokmin was feeling the same way as his chest started heaving underneath your palms, so you pulled back, your pants matching up with his. 

For the first time since you met him, your world around you seemed to intensify. Everything was brighter, glowing with a fierceness you had never once experienced. The two of you stayed silent staring into each other’s eyes, your heart hammering against your chest as you noticed the subtle specs of gold that were mixed deep within his dark eyes. You didn’t want to stop looking at them, not when you felt his hand cup your chin to pull you back in for another kiss. 

“Do you feel it too?” You whispered, your lips hovering over his threatening to close the gap again. 

“Feel what?” He teased, rubbing his nose against yours, heating up the blood in your body. And you prayed he wouldn’t see the slight sheen of sweat that had started to form against your hairline. 

“Like you’re home?” 

“Yes” The simple three letter word, sent you into a frenzy and you once again kissed him. This time with more fever than the last, because in Seokmin’s arms you finally felt like you could fall.

[awesomerextyphoon]

Madripoor Musings

Summary: You’re undercover as Zemo’s Sugar Baby while you’re with the team in Madripoor. You seem to like the position a little too much and Sam gets jealous.

Parings: Sam Wilson x Black Female Reader, slight Zemo x Black Female Reader

Word Count: 1,685

Rating: 18+ / Explicit

Warnings: FATWS Spoilers, Smut, Oral (f receiving), Light Choking, Angst, Semi-Public Smut,  Daddy Kink, and Slight Emotional Manipulation

A/N: Ran into another writer’s block so I’m using prompts from this list to get myself out of it. Enjoy!

Back to Masterlist

“So, are we good to go, everyone?”

The four of you were jet-setting in Zemo’s private plane to Madripoor to get info on this new version of super solider serums. Zemo came up with the idea of having Sam go undercover as the West African weapons dealer/smuggler, Smiling Tiger. Bucky returned to his ‘Winter Soldier’ mode and you were to become ‘Miss Erina’, Zemo’s new arm candy/Sugar Baby.

Your backstory was simple: you’ve been with Zemo since before he went to prison living in his many estates and luxurious apartments.

It took some time for everyone to get into character. Sam tried and failed to pull off a Nigerian accent while Bucky kept up his hard glare and glower routine. You and Zemo put on the perfect couple facade with the both of you placing semi-sensual touches on each other’s bodies and showering each other with (sometimes lewd) compliments.

“Oh, thank you for the necklace, Daddy!” you gushed loving the way Sam was fuming. Bucky almost broke his character trying not to snicker.

“Nothing’s too much for you, котёнок/kotyonok (kitten).” Zemo mused as he offered you a coy smirk and leaned in for a kiss.

You giggled as he placed kisses along your jawline, neck, and collarbone.

“We’ll continue this later, киса,” Zemo whispered while winking at Sam.

 ––––

 Madripoor was amazing, to say the least. It was a cyberpunk wet dream with bright lights at various angles and two distinct levels giving off a Black Lagoon/Blade Runner/Ghost in Shell vibe.

It felt like your kind of town.

It’s been like this since the Snap. Your older sister died in a car crash right after Thanos’ victory. Your father and uncle were blipped into the ocean dying instantly. Nowadays, your mother could barely talk to you without crying.

Natasha was dead and Steve fucked off to the 1940s to crush English pussy. Sharon got branded an enemy of the US Government and was forced to run. Some dumbass cracker (you will NEVER acknowledge his name) was given Sam’s rightful shield and mantle of Captain America by the craven, racist US government and had the NERVE to tell you to stay out of his way.

To top it all off, you found out that the US military tortured a man for 30 YEARS in order to ‘make the perfect soldier’.

You were finally in a place that matched how you felt.

“We’re heading into Low Town. Be on your guard, everyone.” Zemo warned as he lifted your chin and kissed you again. He insisted on walking towards your escort.

“Why do I have to wear this again? I look like a pimp!” Sam whined while looking sexy AF in his Ankara (I’m saying it’s Ankara) suit.

“Don’t mind him, Daddy. Sam has no sense of style.” You joked snuggling closer to Zemo.

“We’re not at the club yet.” Sam pointed out, vexed at the way you were clinging onto Zemo.

“We cannot let our guard down, Wilson. Selby has eyes everywhere.”

Sam relented and tried not to look your way. It was tempting due to you wearing an amazing Burgundy Fashion Nova Sugar Free Mini Dress with Black Bow Whoa Pumps. Your curves were out, but not in a shameless manner.

You had class, yet you were a tease.

 ––––

 The ride to Selby’s was nothing short of thrilling.

You were right about the overall aesthetic. Madripoor definitely has the ‘dystopian punk’ feel on lock.

“You look radiant, котёнок.” Zemo cooed as you kissed his neck liking how smiled at Sam and inwardly cackled at Sam’s glower.

 –––––

 Several men and some women moved to make a pass at you on the way to the club. A few audacious men learned that you were Zemo’s the hard way, Bucky made sure of it.

You had to mask your displeasure at how many people were shooting appreciative glances at Sam.

You just hoped this escapade would end soon.

 ––––––

 Zemo advised everyone to aim straight for the bar wrapping his arm around your waist as he strode into the club. Sam and Bucky followed suit slipping into their Apex and Winter modes respectively.

The bartender licked his lips as he looked you over, “Thought Selby told ya you ain’t welcomed here, Zemo.”

Zemo raised an eyebrow, “I know, but this is important,” he eyed several bouncers making their way towards your group. Their moves did not faze the baron. He simply turned to Bucky and whispered in his ear.

It didn’t take long for Bucky to let loose. You could’ve sworn a couple of people were ready to shit themselves.

 –––––

 Selby was...interesting. She/They gave off a pretentious ‘I’m always ten steps ahead’ aura with a bit of fake whimsy. She/They wanted to give you to one of her best clients and keep Bucky for herself/themselves (probably for sexual reasons, didn’t want to pry).

The conversation was going well...until Sam’s phone went off.

Insert facepalm.

You’ve told him time and time again to put his phone on silent and get rid of vibrate. Now he was gonna get y’all killed, but you said,” Fuck it!” and shot her/them and the #2.

The group had to book it and you cursed yourself for wearing non-running heels.

 _____

 Your asses were saved by a guardian sniper, Sharon. You were glad to see her again missing your bi-weekly movie nights and sporadic weekend brunches.

“It’s good to see you, Sharon.” You greeted as you hugged Sharon at the entrance of her High Town pad.

“It’s great to see you, too, even after you’ve destroyed my work.” Sharon lowered her voice while pressing her lips together in frustration and then lust at the sight of Sam’s deliciously thicc upper body.

You couldn’t blame her as you wanted to run your hands and tongue along his planes of muscle.

You listened in on the group’s conversation as you changed clothes seeing Sam’s distress at Sharon and Zemo’s words. They did have a point about how being a hero does ring hollow, but it still hurt to see Sam’s sadness and hurt.

 ––––––

 You found Zemo, bless his heart, dancing like a lost dad on the dance floor and started grinding against him while shooting Sam a sexy pout accentuating your sensually full lips.

Sam, for his part, was trying to look interested talking to a waitress with killer legs. He almost lost it when he put his arms around your waist.

“Let’s see if we can get a reaction out of him,” you whispered wrapping your arms around his neck. He knew that Sam hasn’t been giving it lately.

 ––––––

 Your little stunt lasted for about ten minutes before Sam stomped over grabbing your arm and dragging you into one of Sharon’s ‘private rooms’ after another man got too close to what was his.

“Why did you drag me away like that?!” you shouted secretly turned on by the raging fire in his eyes.

“So you like calling your men ‘Daddy’?” Sam demanded as he backed you into the wall.

“I’m your ‘daddy’ now, vixen.” Sam breathed while lightly dragging his finger up your thighs only to find no panties.

“No panties, huh?” he smirked as he twirled his forefinger around your clit causing you to moan.

“Fuck, I love hearing you moan. Say my name, vixen. Don’t care if Sharon finds out.” Sam murmured against your lips. He effortlessly lifted you in such a way to make you wonder if he got some SS serum. It didn’t hurt that you got to see his muscles bulge underneath his turtleneck as he landed your blessed backside onto one of the tables.

“Eyes on me, kitten,” Sam ordered as he forced open your legs and made his way your slit leaving open-mouthed kisses and love bites in his wake. “You're already soaking for me, baby.” he mused as he gave your slit a long lick.

You could barely keep yourself from moaning.

“Who's your daddy, baby?”

“You are!”

“I’m your ONLY daddy!” Sam shouted and dove in.

You were drowning in ecstasy.

Sam was hitting all the right notes with your pussy. He was always a G at eating you out. Sam swatted your hand away from your mouth, “I want everyone to know who your real daddy is,!”

He kept you on edge for nine excruciating minutes before he finally let you orgasm.

“No time for rest, vixen.” Sam chided as he flipped you on the table ass up with your dress bunched up around your chest,” Are you a good little vixen?” Sam breathed in your ear as he placed kisses along your ear, neck, and collarbone.

“Yes, daddy.”

“You’re damn right I am!” He sheaved himself into you in one swift motion. You moaned in delight at the sensation. He didn’t move no matter how much you begged him, “Tell the world who your daddy is,” he instructed as he slapped your plump ass.

You screamed out his name and Sam started thrusting. He gently wrapped his hand around your neck while demanding you to shout his name. Sam pounded into you at a relentless pace constantly hitting your ‘Cum Dizzy Sector’ turning you into a delightfully orgasmic mess.

Sam was reaching his limit so he played with your clit to make you finish first. You came with what felt like an earth-shattering orgasm with Sam coming with a primal roar not too long afterward.

Both of you were so wrapped up in orgasmic bliss that you didn’t notice Sharon, Zemo, Bucky, and a few other partygoers at the door.

“So, how did go?” Sharon teased as you tried to cover yourself up.

“How much did you see?”

“Hmm,” Sharon hummed while tapping her chin, “Enough for me to close a $19.8M art deal.”

“We’re getting a 10% cut.” Sam barked annoyed with the rest of the group reigning in on his smash time.

“Fine. Get dressed, I got a lead.” Sharon announced while smirking all the way to her quarters.

You smirked at Zemo as you made your way to the exit.

Worth it.

[passable-talent]

| part 1 | part 2 |

this storyline might end up being long 👀 so in order for me to get to other requests I’m gonna not continue it until someone requests an extension again. thanks y’all 💕💕

edit: EIGHT MILLION PEOPLE HAVE ASKED FOR THIS TO BE CONTINUED IT WILL BE U ITS OKAY

edit: | part 4 | part 5 | part 6 | part 7 | part 8 |

Rice seemed to be the morning meal. There was an abundance of it, and it was filling, and you wouldn’t complain, as you had food at all. What was weird, though, was standing beside Zuko as you waited for Katara to scoop you your serving.

As soon as you got your portion you left his side, making a beeline to Toph, sitting down beside her on the edge of the fountain.

“I’ve been practicing my seismics,” you told her, and she didn’t much acknowledge you other than a quick nod. You weren’t wearing shoes, as you tended not to in the morning, and you pressed the flat of your foot into the floor.

“Watch this,” you said, and you closed your eyes as you put a scoop of rice to your mouth. At the same time, you dug your toe into the ground, sending a small stone up under Sokka.

He shot up from the floor and rubbed his behind, scowling. Toph, on the other hand, burst out laughing.

“Toph!” Sokka shouted, a slight waiver in his voice with the cracking of his throat.

“It wasn’t me!” She said back, still laughing. Sokka turned his gaze to you, almost glaring, and you gave him back a charming, innocent smile.

Despite yourself, your eyes flicked for a moment to Zuko, and you found him with a smile on his face.

You had missed that smile, and you hadn’t known it until now.

Aang and Zuko disappeared for a while to rediscover Zuko’s firebending, which you thought was hilarious. Of course he loses his firebending, right when you need him to be a firebender. You spend the few days they were gone practicing your earthbending and wrestling with your emotions, but you got no further than you’d gotten the night he came and talked to you.

You still cared for him. And that made you angry sometimes.

When he returned with Aang, once again capable of firebending, you were glad that Aang once again had his teacher. But you were also glad that Zuko was back. You, just like Katara, were slowly learning to laugh at him, or with him, depending on the day. You were letting your guard down, bit by bit, and allowing yourself to look at him more and more.

There was this... tension whenever the two of you were in the same room. It was like neither of you were quite willing to speak first, out of pride or awkwardness or something of the like. You couldn’t tell what he was feeling, but to you it felt like there was something just out of reach, blocking you from taking a step closer to forgiving him. It frustrated you, because you did miss the friendship you once had with him.

One night, while the rest of the group were sitting around a fire, you decided to take your anger out on some rocks. So you travelled up the cliff side, to where you could pitch stones around without worrying about destroying the temple. You began by practicing your forms, the strong stances that earthbending martial arts were known for, but with the adrenaline and anger you felt you soon moved to different techniques. Earthbending’s kicks were very contact based- as though you would hit the body and stop. But your lean stature made it easier for you to practice other types of kicks, those that spun or involved jumps. It made the rocks move differently, but you knew that if you could master the style of earthbending that fit your frame, you’d be more unpredictable in battle.

That was the logic. Sometimes, you just needed to spin and jump and land with an impact. Sometimes you just needed to stomp and pretend it was the fire lord’s face underneath your foot, or Azula you launched that boulder into instead of a tree. You tried to picture one of your boulders knocking Zuko down a few pegs, but you couldn’t. He was being so kind- he made tea for the group and tried to make you all laugh. He helped Aang learn firebending, and offered to light a fire in your bedroom to keep you warm on a particularly cold day.

You couldn’t hold a grudge against him. Your grip on your anger was wearing away, and leaving behind what you realized was the root of it all, leaving behind that wall that had blocked you from stepping closer to him.

Fear.

You were afraid of how close you had once been to him. You were afraid that it would be all too easy to fall into old habits, and you’d be left betrayed once again. You were afraid of how much he meant to you, all this time.

And fear made you lash out.

You spun and dug your knuckles into the ground to launch a few stones into the air, the thit as they impacted with a tree satisfying to your ears. The rumbling of the earth as you pulled it’s rock from the ground made you feel better, and the slight stinging pain in your joints reminded you of your power, because even if you couldn’t control Zuko and your emotions, you could control the earth.

“Y/N?” Zuko’s voice startled you so deeply that a hunk of rock was punched in his direction before you even registered it was him, at which point you pulled your fist back and threw it to the ground, reversing the stone headed right for Zuko and burying it back in the dirt.

“Sorry,” you said, breathing hard with eyes wide. You’d almost smacked him. With a boulder. That would’ve been bad. “You scared me.” He laughed worriedly, reaching up to scratch the back of his head.

“Well you got me back,” he said, looking for a moment at the stone you’d put back into the ground after almost flattening him with it. He turned his gaze back to you. “Can I tell you something that you can’t tell anyone else?” You furrowed your eyebrows, but nodded.

“I have a feeling Sokka is going to do something very stupid tonight, and I’m not going to let him go alone. So I don’t know how long we’ll be gone, and I didn’t want to go without saying goodbye.” All sorts of emotions came rushing up your throat, and you frowned.

“What’s he trying to do that you don’t know how long it’s going to be?” You asked, before you could stop yourself. Knowing that he may not answer that question, you followed it up with a few more. “Is it dangerous? Do you think you’ll be gone more than a day?”

“There’s no way to know,” he said, and looked to the side. “It might be a few days.” You swallowed hard, one hand coming up to squeeze your other bicep. There was silence, for a moment, other than the croaking of the badger frogs in the forest.

“I, uh,” you let slip out, and you swallowed hard. “Just stay safe and come back, okay?” Your eyes caught his, and you found vulnerability swimming in them. You knew he must’ve seen the same.

“Yeah,” he said, and turned to renter the temple. You watched him walk away for a moment, overwhelming worry and dread overtaking you and keeping you rooted to your spot.

“Zuko?” You finally forced out, and he turned back to you. You broke from your stance and ran forward, wrapping his torso in a hug before you thought enough to stop yourself. You closed your eyes tightly, as though if you didn’t see him, you wouldn’t know how he reacted.

His arms came around your shoulders and he held you tightly, resting his nose down and onto your shoulder.

“Thanks for telling me,” you said, and he nodded. You pulled away and let him go, your hand pressed to the dirt to sense him as he travelled back down to the temple.

He was gone the next morning, along with Sokka. You kept your mouth shut, knowing that it wasn’t a fishing trip at all, and waited, simmering with the knowledge he’d given you. Your curse was the worst of all, as you knew that they were doing something dangerous, but you didn’t know what. You could only hope that they’d come back. And when they did, they brought with them Hakoda and Suki. It was a great surprise, and you hugged him when he returned.

You were relieved to see him alive.

He hugged you back, tightly, as though he was struggling with something, and you watched him when he pulled away.

“I need to talk to you,” he said, not meeting your eyes.

“Okay, why?”

“I ran into Mai.”

-🦌 Roe