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loving-n0t-heyting · 1 year ago

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Props to @holyninjaemail and @captious-solarian for their cultural refinement

For the rest of you asking for clarification: read this novel!!

Imagine that we as a species suddenly encounter some new and acutely horrible infectious parasite. Doesn’t kill, exactly, not right away, but causes constant and excruciating pain and cognitive/emotional deterioration. And it’s horribly infectious. It’s just the worst!

So we could kill them all, the drugs exist, but instead, out of the abundant kindness of our hearts, putting every buddhist monk to shame, we instead do our best to try and communicate to them in worm-ese: please, please just fucking stop. Ofc that doesn’t work, so we resort to the next most divinely merciful thing: individually isolate and house the great mass of these parasites in a little enclave, sometimes alone but more often with a bunch of other wriggly bloodsucking friends, filled with nutrients and artificial stimulation, away from vulnerable human flesh. Until suddenly, one day, one of the parasites breaks free of its bell jar as tho by magic, pulling others out with it, and starts wreaking havoc once more on humanity

Again, we could kill them all! Would be a piece of cake! But instead, we create a giant container to contain all the other containers still remaining, to wait and see if any of these others are able to pull this same bit of invertebrate!Houdini trickery. Or at least, most of us do. There’s an eccentric, tho, who tries a different tack. Bc he cares about these little fuckers. They are his special little buddies. Instead he picks one, his precious little fucking nightmare pet, to bring back into his own privately maintained demon habitat, doing his best to communicate with a tiny little worm puppet he crafted specifically to interact with the bastard. Waits for it to spawn younglings so he can set up them with their own living quarters. He even arranges a sort of pen pal programme where the worm can wiggle and get wiggled at by its monstrous broodmates, and eventually finds them all a particularly dangerous conspecific roommate, all the while tending to its every need thru the puppet.

Why? Why does he maintain this ludicrous arrangement with a little worm boasting fewer brain cells than he has has taste buds? Bc he is going to teach it to talk, and then converse with it to see how the other worm could have escaped, and build a way forward for the two species to live in harmony. It’s insane, ofc. Nobody takes him seriously bc it’s the stupidest idea they’ve ever heard. Any number of snide remarks are made by his colleagues (as much as anything bc they see in him their failures). But it works!! One of his ~100 iterations bred from the first manages to learn to speak in human speech! It’s a fucking miracle! And so he presses on with it, showing it the damage the outbreak has caused, pleading to help him find a solution to keep both species in safety and comfort

And what does this little platyhelminth bitch do? How does this pampered little tapeworm ingrate respond to these overtures of inter-phylum peace? Tells him it thinks the one to mysteriously break free was a hottie, that he should have somehow asked permission and better collaborated on the interior design of the terrarium with it before it had the gift of fucking language to convey its wants, that he was tooooo pushy in trying to talk about how to avoid species-wide relentless torture, and now its going to use what it learned in conversation to a) kill him and ii) escape to cause the plague to end all human plagues. And it does it! While he’s prone and vulnerable and screaming for mercy and avowing his confusion and refusing to defend himself, it fucking does it!!

God what an entitled little fucking bitch

#chirality angels #its so good

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