#cat's fanfiction

[coolcattime]

Waves Lapping Where the Children Grew: Chapter Three

Relationships: Captain Capsize/Sonja Firefoxx, Captain Capsize & Skipper Redbeard

Characters: Skipper Redbeard, Captain Capsize, Sonja Firefoxx, Jordan Captainsparklez, Tom Syndicate, Lady Ianite, Rupert the Grey, Earl Bluebeard

1 - 2 - > 3 < - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10

In the throes of the coldest winter he can remember facing, Redbeard has been dealing with repeated attempts from an entitled suitor to abduct his ever-sleeping sister. Though assured by Lady Ianite that she has dealt with the man, creeping paranoia and isolation wreck his mind to the point of illness.

When two more visitors arrive to the island, he doubts his ability to face them. But, alone as ever, he has little choice but to push forward.

AO3 Link

Afterwards: Winter

Winter had come on far stronger than the year previous. Even thinking back to his childhood, Redbeard could not remember a winter that had been so bone numbing. One that had left the ocean on the coast of the island frozen. However, that was the cold he currently found himself in.

A somehow even quieter landscape than the abandoned island previously was, leaving him dwelling on his isolation all the more.

The cold had left his head feeling thick. At least, that was what he was blaming his illness on despite knowing it was not the true cause. Yes, of course, it likely wasn’t helping, but he knew the main cause of his apparent illness was exhaustion.

He knew he should stop pushing himself and just sleep. He was alone on the island, so if he collapsed, he’d be in trouble. He couldn’t afford to be in distress when he was meant to be the protector here.

But he hadn’t managed to wrench the paranoia from his mind since the prince.

He had come at the beginning of the season. A prince, somehow more entitled as any he had ever met, had arrived to try and wake Capsize. He was not an unusual type of visitor. Nor was the look of disgust that he received despite barring the same title as the man anything less than typical.

However, when Red had started his typical questions to see if he would allow the man inside, the encounter had taken a worrying turn.

The prince had begun talking about some old alliance between his kingdom and Ianerea – as if that meant anything when he stood in its ruins. Still, that by itself wouldn’t have been any worse than anything else he’d experienced. But the things the bastard had confessed to wanting to do with Capsize… Banishing him with the blade had been nothing short of a relief.

For any other visitor, that would’ve been the end of it, but not this one.

He’d sent others to the island. Soldiers or mercenaries, Redbeard had no idea which, but all had come barring the bastard’s crest and all had come with the sole goal of attempting to abduct his sister.

All it had taken was one unlucky day. One had managed to slip past him and…

They’d laid their hands on Capsize and been thrown back by an incredibly pissed off goddess.

That particular soldier had been turned to ash as they failed to give Lady Ianite an adequate explanation for why they had been trying to take Capsize. She had taken quite a while to look over his sister after that. He couldn’t blame her. Despite how Capsize was quite unable to die, he too was concerned that the kidnapper could’ve done damage to her.

Thankfully she found nothing, she had reassured him of that fact several times over as she checked over him. Just repeated over and over as if she had gotten caught in the throes of madness.

“Capsize hasn’t been harmed. I’m going to make sure no one working for that prince ever steps foot here again.”

Given the tone of her voice and the fact that her words had held true, Red was half convinced that the prince’s kingdom was just as much ash as his soldier was. However, the other half of his mind was incapable of taking any reassurance.

He wished that he could just take Lady Ianite’s word. After all, he knew that she wouldn’t make any false statements that would place Capsize in danger. She had done so much to ensure her safety while she was stuck in this vulnerable state.

Yet, all his mind could focus on was that his own incompetence had nearly caused his sister to be lost. No amount of reassurance was going to shift the paranoia that such an experience left.

Hence, he had barely left Capsize’s room since.

Dreadfully unhealthy, he knew, but being able to physically see Capsize had been the only thing that had shifted even the smallest amount of the fear he held of just finding her missing. But it did not shift nearly enough of it to actually allow him to sleep.

Hence now, a good couple weeks later, his head felt thick as he’d barely managed a couple of hours of sleep each night. Even the knowledge that he would wake if anyone were to arrive did nothing to allow his mind to rest. He remained restless to the point of sickness, sitting by the fire but somehow still cold as he watched his ever-unmoving sister.

It was as if the cold had taken what little hope he’d had left and smashed it apart with as little care as a child playing with ice.

The loneliness only made it worse. The silence that came with snow just made the lack of replies when he spoke with Capsize all the worse. Before this curse, he couldn’t recall a time that he had been completely alone. Even now, after over a year of the state, he still wasn’t used to it.

He was beginning to look back on his arguments with Jordan with fondness.

The champion had actually stayed away in the months since his birthday. Redbeard had no notion that the man might be looking for Dianite’s champion. He doubted he’d ever see him again. But he couldn’t exactly take his words back now, nor would he if the champion actually made an appearance.

The hopelessness that came with isolation though made it hard to not regret.

His rose-tinted recollections were interrupted by the all too familiar prodding in his head that alerted him that someone was on the island.

He sighed deeply.

In his current state, anyone showing up was worrying. He knew without a shadow of a doubt that he was in no position to fight. If they were here for the same reason as the last, then… Oh gods, he didn’t stand a chance.

The sinking feeling only got worse as he felt a second presence join the first.

He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to prevent his quickening breath before it took a hold of him.

He shouldn’t be presuming that he would need to fight whoever these two were. There had been so many visitors that he hadn’t needed to – just not within the last few months. Though, given that he wasn’t even sure he was able to walk, the worry that he may need to do anything more was beyond worrying.

He looked towards his sister.

If their positions were switched, she would not allow anything to get in the way of defending him. How could he allow his exhaustion to overwhelm him?

He forced himself to his feet, hating how his body shook.

He could give the appearance of strength. He was sure he could. If it proved necessary, he would fight them off. If he couldn’t then he’d just be failing her again.

As he made his way outside, he was still biting back paranoia. He trusted Lady Ianite, if she said no one else working for the prince would step foot on the island, then she meant it. Even if he for some reason wanted to doubt his only ally, the soldiers had all been incredibly quick to move towards the castle. Whoever these two were, they hadn’t even left the docks by the time he actually stepped foot outside.

Then he was biting back against the cold. His boots crunched against the snow as he walked through the otherwise silent landscape. On the horizon, anchored just beyond the ice currently surrounding the island, he could see the visitor’s ship.

The sight gave him a pang of homesickness, despite how ridiculous such a statement was. After all, he was technically home.

But this island wasn’t home. This ruin wasn’t where he had grown up, even if it literally was by geography. This island was now only two things: his sister’s resting place and a horrible reminder of a life they’d left behind but hadn’t been able to escape.

His home had been the ship that Capsize had stolen all those years ago. The ship where they had become pirates and he’d seen his sister actually grow happy in life. He hadn’t seen it since the night the curse had struck, since Lady Ianite had brought him here and he’d found Capsize…

A lump formed in his throat as he remembered that he had never told the crew about what was going on.

Capsize had been so certain that she’d found a way to break the curse. She’d been sure months before and, unlike every other attempt, her faith in the method hadn’t faded. She seemed convinced that she’d found her true love, so sharing her secret when she had been so confident hadn’t even crossed his mind.

By the time it had become clear that her confidence had either been misplaced or just faked, it had been far too late for him to give any explanations.

Seeing such a similar ship on the horizon to the one he’d left behind gave him a bittersweet longing that he could not afford to linger on.

It couldn’t be the same ship, he knew. The lack of sleep was just getting to him. Yet he still found his eyes flickering back to it as he walked ever closer to the docks where the visitors still were. More than ever, he longed for the days on that ship back.

But, again, he could not afford to linger on such thoughts.

He heard the visitors before he saw them, their voices muffled by the snow. It was a usual occurrence as few expected this place to have any sort of guard.

However, today such a simple thing as overhearing made him freeze.

“What if we’re wrong, if it isn’t them?”

“Then hopefully the rumours of Lady Ianite protecting this place aren’t false and she can tell us what happened to them.”

He heard them talking to each other. Again, utterly normal, except he recognised those voices.

It wasn’t possible. None of the crew had any reason to come here. But it was also undeniable that those were the voices of Earl Bluebeard and Rupert the Grey.

Red stood frozen wondering if he had finally lost it. Maybe the loneliness and the lack of sleep and the cold had all compounded and now he was hearing things. Maybe there were no visitors at all, and he was even imagining the magical prodding in his mind.

Despite knowing that the far more logical and far less worrying situation was that the two were just here, that was not precisely the comforting idea that it perhaps should be.

Because how was he supposed to explain any of this?

Not a soul among the crew knew about his and Capsize’s life prior to running away.

Capsize had been so happy to escape her life as a cursed princess who was only ever looked at with pity. She’d held nothing but fear at the idea of the crew finding out about her royal title or her curse and suddenly treating her differently.

Though Red had had less misgivings about his old life, he would be lying if he said that he missed his life as crown prince of Ianerea. The weight of a thousand expectations placed on his shoulders for the misfortune of being born a few minutes earlier than his sister. The scornful looks from his parents as he knew they forever wished he had been cursed instead of Capsize.

Needless to say, they had kept their titles well hidden from the crew. Never had to explain why two royals had run away from home if no one found out they were royalty in the first place.

They barely mentioned their lives prior to the ship theft at all if they could avoid it. When pushed they’d simply said they’d run away from home at a young age and now there was no home left for them to return to.

How was he meant to explain all that they had kept hidden?

His breath started to catch in his throat as he could not bring himself to either move forward or retreat.

He couldn’t leave, if he was wrong about who was here, if he was hearing things and more attackers had come, then he’d be leaving them too much of an opening,

But if he was in his right mind, if it was Rupert and Earl, he couldn’t face them. He just couldn’t.

He stood frozen, breaths beginning to sting his throat just as the cold stung his exposed skin. He couldn’t bring himself to do anything.

In the end, the decision was made for him as the two finally left the docks and came towards him.

Within moments Red could see them. And it was them: Rupert the Grey and Earl Bluebeard. Two men that he had not seen in over a year stood before him, having somehow found him despite the odds.

Most would’ve found it a joyous event. But Red was already beyond overwhelmed. He could feel nothing but ever rising panic.

Just as he saw them, they saw him.

Briefly, Red saw their expressions change, their eyes widening. Perhaps they turned to excitement or joy, or they merely remained shocked, but he would not learn. His panic got the better of him.

He turned on his heel and began to run.

Behind him he heard his name being called in panic, but he daren’t look back. He couldn’t face them, he just couldn’t.

However, in this moment, with so many fears swirling through his head, was when his lack of sleep finally caught up to him.

Red couldn’t tell the cause, be it his sickness or ice underfoot. He just knew that he was sent tumbling into the cold icy ground.

But whether he had tripped and fell, or he was simply so exhausted that he had passed out, the result was the same. His consciousness faded and, much like the one he self-charged to protect, he was forced into slumber.

🌊 🌊 🌊

Redbeard did not awaken on the cold ground as he expected to. Nor did he awaken on the slightly warmer floor of Capsize’s bedroom where he had been sleeping for the past few weeks.

Rather he awoke in comfort on a soft, warm bed where he wished he could remain forever. He relaxed further into the warmth, everything about it feeling joyous.

Then it clicked.

He shot up, looking around his surroundings in blind panic.

He was in his bedroom. A perfectly normal place to awake yet it filled him with a horrible panic as he saw the darkness outside and realised that he had no idea how long he had been asleep. Anything could’ve happened to Capsize in the meantime.

What if he had been sleeping and she’d been taken?! How could he even dream about relaxing when she was defenceless?

He rushed out of his room, having no thoughts in his mind aside from checking on his sister. He just needed to see her then he could relax.

However, the moment he was through the door, he was caught.

A strong pair of arms held him in their grip. He struggled fruitlessly against them, thrashing and trying to reach for his sword only to realise it was no longer on his belt.

If he had been able to remember why he had been so panicked prior to falling asleep, he wouldn’t have been trying so hard to grab his weapon. However, he was far too consumed by panic to properly process those memories or consider that the person holding him may not be an enemy.

“Calm down, Red,” The man holding him said as he struggled to keep him from running off.

The voice, gruff but concerned, slowed Red’s struggles. He began to remember who had arrived here. Though he still feared that reality more than he likely should, now his thoughts were not completely soaked with exhaustion, he no longer believed that he was hallucinating.

Somehow, Rupert and Earl had found them. And for some reason that he couldn’t fully process, that left his breathing quickening to the point that it was burning his chest.

Rupert, though himself quite fearful for what might happen as he did, loosened his hold on Redbeard. He did his best to keep in mind the words of the exceptionally panicked goddess that had appeared after the lad had collapsed.

Even if they had been vague and not made much sense, she had made clear that Red had been facing threats alone for quite some time now. Such would drive anyone to paranoia and exhaustion.

He stepped back, hoping that showing that the only people here were himself and Earl would calm him. “We’re not gonna hurt you lad. It’s just us.”

“It’s just…” It was difficult for Red to wheeze the words out. He knew, of course, that it was just them. That he and Capsize were in no danger, but even with his mind screaming that his body just wouldn’t accept it.

Every worst-case scenario was stuck swirling through his mind, each one choking him as his breaths got ever faster trying to combat the tightness in his throat they caused. His eyes stung as he became sure that he would collapse again.

He lent against the doorway to try and steady himself. “How did you find…”

He tried to ask the one question that he couldn’t get past. The question that, despite how plain reality was before him, made all of this feel like a trick.

How could they have found him? What could’ve possibly possessed them to come to this ruin of a kingdom where, seeing that they had no idea of his past, he should have no reason to be?

The two pirates looked between themselves. This was not precisely the reaction they had been expecting, but that didn’t matter.

They had finally found him. They’d do what it took to calm him down.

“We’ve been looking for you and the Captain since you both disappeared last year,” Earl began, trying to keep the explanation as concise as possible.

Admittedly, shortening the beginning did make it sound like a far more immediate thing than it had been. It had taken longer than he cared to admit to realise anything had been out of the ordinary.

The Captain had never much liked her birthday, so her disappearing during the day hadn’t exactly been cause for concern. But the way Red had been acting… He should’ve realised that when he’d disappeared too it hadn’t just been to check on his sister.

But he hadn’t. None of the crew had. Until it was the next day and neither had returned – not exactly unlike Red but it was certainly out of character for the Captain.

Suddenly they’d been faced with the possibility that the two had walked off into danger and not one of them had done a thing to stop it.

The idea that he had been missed was enough to start breaking Red’s panic. His breathing ever so slightly calmed at the notion that anyone cared enough to still be looking for him and Capsize.

His surroundings less blurred, he properly looked at the two before him. By the gods, they looked worried.

“We honestly hadn’t had any luck. You two really know how to make yourselves disappear. No wonder you managed to steal a whole ship as kids,” Earl laughed, trying to hide his own shame at how long they had gone without any leads. “But then we heard a rumour about this place. Didn’t really sound like you two, talk of a cursed princess and a loyal guard. But they said the princess was protected by Lady Ianite… Ain’t a soul that fits that description except Capsize.”

“I’m sorry, we should’ve told you what was going on… Capsize thought that she’d found a way to stop all this. We would’ve warned you all that we were leaving back in spring if not,” Red apologised, his frazzled thoughts attempting to explain a situation not yet explained.

It had always been the plan. Tell the crew about the curse half a year before it was due to strike. Give everyone time to figure themselves out. But then that spring had come and Capsize had been so sure that she’d found a way to break the curse. And, Red, fool that he was, hadn’t pushed to give the crew a warning for the worst case scenario. He’d been just as ready as her to cling to any escape from this future he was now stuck in.

“Lad, what did happen to you both?” Rupert asked carefully. “We’ve heard the rumours that led us here, and when you collapsed, Lady Ianite appeared and told us… Well honestly not much. Just that she’d been protecting you both.”

The goddess had been vague. It seemed that she was unwilling to say anything that Red and Capsize hadn’t shared themselves, which was next to nothing. And while Rupert could obviously respect that, now it left the undead man beyond concerned as he’d never seen Red in a worse state and, despite how they’d been here for hours now, Capsize had yet to make any sort of appearance.

Red swallowed. He could trust them, he reminded himself. Even if he didn’t believe that, he owed them an explanation after how long they’d been searching.

“Capsize is cursed. She has been for as long as either of us can remember. Always this looming threat that we knew would trigger on that birthday... We’d planned to warn all you lot, let you figure out a livelihood for yourselves for when she’d no longer be around. But then the time had come and… and she’d said she’d found a way to break the curse,” He couldn’t look at them as he explained. He was so scared that any emotion they may wear would cause him to break and never finish.

“And you know Capsize, she can’t lie for the life of her. The way her face lit up, the excitement in her voice, I was so sure that she had actually found a way. But then our birthday came. Lady Ianite… She must’ve felt what had happened because she was so panicked. She brought me here and… And we found Capsize…”

He choked back a sob as he remembered seeing her laying still in a pool of blood.

He should’ve been with her that day. Maybe he could’ve stopped all this.

A hand touched his shoulder. A comforting touch that coaxed him into actually looking up at his friends.

As Rupert struggled for any words that could comfort a man that had told such a tale, he had never wished more that they had found him earlier.

“It’s alright, lad. It’s alright,” It wasn’t, but what else could he say? “Where’s Capsize now? Is she…”

He could not bring himself to finish the question. He knew from seeing the state that Redbeard was in and the fact that they had not encountered even a trace of her presence that it was unlikely that she was in any way okay. However, he could not bring himself to ask if she was dead.

“She’s in her bedroom… I can show you,” He knew that there were a dozen ways he could simply explain her curse and condition, but he did not know if his soul could take it at this moment.

Neither man had any objection. How could they? They had already come this far.

The walk to her bedroom was quiet.

It was oddly nerve-racking for Red. Even with all those who had come to try and wake Capsize, he could still count on his hands the number of people who had actually seen her. So few he had trusted to lead through these corridors to his sister. So few he believed had even the slightest chance of waking her.

Even when he knew he could trust the men following him, he still could not stop hearing his heart thumping in his throat. Still he hesitated for a moment at her door, the protective instincts of the past year eating away at his mind.

He forced himself to push forward.

He could trust them. They wouldn’t hurt Capsize.

He opened the door.

Rupert and Earl froze as they saw the state of her.

Even from the doorway, they could see Capsize’s completely still form. They could see their Captain, the woman they had been looking for for over a year looking so close to death that even her chest rising and falling did not fully convince them that she lived.

Red walked over, a mix of numbness and relief that she remained in the same state as she had been prior to his own forced slumber. He stood before his sister’s bed and looked down at her.

“All the more magically inclined people we’d gotten to try and break it called it ‘a living death’. She’s alive, but she’s stuck in time. She can’t die, can’t even age, but she can’t wake up. Not unless she receives true love’s kiss,” He said, basically just reciting words he’d heard before because trying to explain in his own would just end in broken sobs. Even the borrowed words he had to force out, still feeling far too much like he was explaining her cause of death.

It was impossible for the men in the doorway to miss the grief in his voice.

“Have you been alone with her all this time?” Earl asked, though he was sure of the answer the moment the words passed his lips.

“Ianite comes by to check on her quite often… Her champion used to as well, but I ended up having to chase him off. I can’t leave her, though. The people who come to try and wake her… I can’t just let them come and leave her defenceless,” He couldn’t rid himself of the thoughts of what that prince had threatened and the soldiers he’d sent once he’d been banished.

No matter how maddening this self-implemented isolation was, he would manage. It was a far better curse than hers. He would face this alone for as long as necessary.

But, for the first time in over a year, Redbeard was not facing this prospect alone.

Rupert walked across the room, once again placing a hand on his shoulder.

He knew he needed to say something, though he struggled with what precisely that should be as he looked down at the Captain. Despite all the time that had passed, all the growing she had done, he could still see the mouthy kid with a stolen ship he had met a near decade ago.

She should not look deader than he did.

“We’re here with you now, lad. Until we can wake her, we’ll take this task with you,” He assured. Now that they’d found the two of them, they weren’t leaving.

For the first time in a great many months, the hopelessness left Red’s bones. Even if he was stuck guarding her for the rest of time, at least he wouldn’t be alone any longer.

As snow once more begun to fall outside, the island was no longer silent and the light that came from the ruin of a kingdom held some life.

[raileurta]

I was reading some transformers fanfiction and it's a solely underutilized idea to have humans and Cybertronians be in a symbiotic relationship. In nature all the time big animals will rely on smaller animals' help.

For example humans could give repairs, clean them, and help them reach smaller places. Cybertronians can give transportation and protection of course. They're emotional benefits too; humans are really nice soft things to touch and humans like having big robot friends :3.

So I'm imagining transformers realize how useful it is to have a human partner around so they start going around trying to get one. Anyways this leads to shenanigans of course and a lot of cracky moments.

Suspiciously nice looking car in a driveway with its door opened: ....

The random human who owns the driveway: ...

Human: *turns around* Screw that! I'm not becoming part of the human distribution system today, no sir I am not.

Cybertronian: *sad beeping noises*

[im-totally-not-an-alien-2]

Danny covered his mouth to prevent them from hearing him. This was the third year in a row that Danny was pranking the waynes by hiding christmas gifts all over the mansion. This year, Batman himself had come out to play and Danny was doing everything in his power to troll the guy.

Each day, he would hide the next round of presents, and the batman would have elaborate traps that Danny would have to either evade or escape from before the big bad bat came and snatched him up.

He looked pretty livid, which would be fair if Danny's theory about Brucie Wayne being Batman's Sugar daddy/secret boyfriend were true. He's been trolling Bruce the hardest the last 3 years, what with all the annoying toys and indoor glitter bombs. The grand finally gifts from last year was everyone in the Wayne household getting kazoos and a packet of the most annoying songs you can play on one. That year was torture for the billionaire playboy. He even got to see Brucie cover his ears with couch pillows!

For now, though, he just needed to stay invisible and hide Damians present in his room... now only if this little tuxedo cat would stop following him around and meowing at him. Go away, kitty! I don't have your food, and you're going to give me away!

[jazzmasternot]

He’s a red flag but red means good fortune and love in my culture 😘

[corinthianrm0]

the cyberpunk Gale no one asked for (G4l3?)

BLAME MARU (lexindre on bsky)

[m1smatched-starsigns]

At some point over the years, Hawkfrost has been cemented as the "spare" for me. You only need one son for an heir; the second son is just the spare. He's not important until something goes wrong.

In my headcanons, Tigerstar wants Brambleclaw to be his successor. He needs Hawkfrost to lure Brambleclaw in and disarm him, but Hawkfrost is just a pawn. Hawkfrost knows this and it burns him, he wants to be the important son, he wants to be the one his father wants. He'll do anything to earn Tigerstar's approval.

[kacchanot-fucking-deal-with-this]

Bakugou secretly loving it when Deku calls him Kacchan is one of my top five favorite tropes of all time and it will never not be good. it's literally canon. and even if it wasn't you can't change my mind.

[a-scary-lack-of-common-sense]

More of Stanley's sketchbook because he makes me sick /pos

(Just imagine he was looking in a mirror at the subway to draw this anshfhwj. The london bus ticket is unrelated, it's just a random knick knack he had lying around<3)

People weren't the only ones Stan met on the streets.

------

+ this is an absolute fucking batshit WILD oneshot I initially wrote for these drawings that got WAY out of hand, if you feel like reading that.

The oneshot below is a stand-alone now, and in no way is related to the drawings above, but I just wanted to show you guys because Jesus Christ

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Winter of 1981, at a subway station Stan doesn't remember the name of-

The sorry excuse of a transport system that this hellhole of a city called a functioning subway was hardly anyone's first choice of a warm place to stay the night. And yet, here Stanley was; standing like an idiot in the middle of a small bustling stairwell that led down to the full screeching chaos of a train stop on a Tuesday evening. A rowdy crowd of exhausted office workers streamed out like a tidal wave from the entrance of the station, the bustle of their footsteps all too eager to go home and relax after a long day of work.

The faint, stuffy stench of old piss and sweat followed the crowd to the surface from the deep depths of a less than sanitary and overcrowded train station. The pungent smell intermingled with the crisp stinging winter air in a cocktail of shitty city gloom often associated with this time of the year; when the holidays were too far away and the sun seemed to come and go with practically the same 9 to 5 schedule as the workers had, leaving them going to work in the pitch dark and coming back out in the inky black as well.

He might have looked like he belonged there, depending on how one would want to look at it. He stuck out like a sore thumb amongst the sea of prim, pressed suits and neart uniforms. His ratty old jacket and generally unwashed appearance certainly didn’t help his case, but he also knew that stations like these also tended to shelter quite a number of homeless wanderers like him, especially during the winter. So, it wasn't exactly uncommon to see other sore thumbs seeking reprieve from the biting cold and the dangerous likelihood of frostbite from within the enclosed walls of the subway station.

Heck, if most of these underground kingdoms didn't also happen to be a breeding ground for several illicit activities, he might even have followed their lead. But, believe it or not, Stanley's already had enough experience with illegal activities to last him a last time, and he isn't looking for a new fill. He was satisfied with what meager shelter his trusty car offered him, as little a difference it might make in terms of safety.

Stanley's obstruction of the already narrow stairs with his loitering went unappreciated, as shoulders roughly shoved past him and swinging briefcases repeatedly bumped into his sides, usually coupled with a nasty glare and a snide comment or two. He paid them no mind, however. He wasn't here to start a fight with some random bum with a dead end job, as much as he thought it would probably do them both some good to duke their stresses out on one another.

The hours ticked by with wave after wave of new crowds being dropped off by a train and left to pour out of the station into the streets. By the time the streetlights turned on and the pale pink in the sky slowly faded to make way for the stark glittery black of the night sky, the tide of people had slowed to a trickle and rush hour was long since over. He was now the stairs’ sole occupier, with a few occasional stragglers stumbling up the steps and hurrying past him without a second glance.

Stanley did not move from his spot, however. He stood resolutely in the middle of the stairway, fervently rubbing his arms and stamping his feet in a futile attempt to try and regain feeling in his extremities as he waited. Rocking on his heels, he titled his head backwards to let his eyes roam the constellations that carpeted the endless expanse of the sky stretched out above his head, almost losing himself in the scintillating canvas of stars.

It reminded him of old times; of the sparkling beach sand twinkling in the dim moonlight, and the soft sound of lilting waves hovering in the background as he lay back on the cold wooden deck of his ship and watched the stars dance.

He still remembered every name his brother had once recited to him time and time again as he pointed out each star and galaxy from the night sky.

Then, like clockwork, he was broken out of his reveries by a telltale meow coming from below. The sound was a familiar blanket that immediately melted away the tension that had begun to build in his chest as he practically sagged with relief.

His body moved almost automatically as he leaned down to detach the frail tabby cat that was attempting to literally fuse with his legs, purring up a storm and rubbing her head against his pants as though her life depended on it. The cat gave a soft chirrup of dissatisfaction at being manhandled, which Stanley absentmindedly replied with a chiding click of his tongue as he lifted her up his chest and gently tucked her into his jacket in a practiced motion.

She thankfully remained blissfully limp in his grasp as he shifted around some more so that she was nestled comfortably inside the dark pocket of warmth inside his ratty jacket. The tiny warm lump that rumbled contently against his front radiated with heat, and his fingers finally began to feel like actual fingers rather than useless stiff frigid lumps of meat and bone attached to his palms.

A pointed cough startled him from his clumsy wriggling to get the cat to settle down. An oddly familiar security guard stood at the entrance of the station at the bottom of the stairs, leveling Stanley an unimpressed look with the metal gate in his grip already halfway closed, ready to seal the subway for the night. He must have been a comical sight; caught awkwardly bent over while trying to get his newly acquired cat to stop kneading biscuits on his stomach, with said cat peeking out from the gap between his collars.

Stanley faintly recognized the guard. He was a much older man, with a shock of thinning white hair neatly tucked underneath a dark blue cap and a strange depth in his eyes that reminded Stanley of the sea; with countless unspoken truths lurking far beneath the surface, but no less grand and knowing of all that the universe had to offer, as though he had already lived a thousand lives before this one.

He had seen the man around before, at another station, doing the opposite of his job by ushering stray buskers and homeless stragglers from the streets and into the (relatively) safe walls of the subway, instead of doing what any other law-abiding security guard would do and kick them out into the elements. He wasn't sure what the older man was doing here, of all places, since all the previous stations he'd seen the man at had been several states over, practically on the other side of the country.

A brief spark of panic shot through his spine at the thought that this man could be following him, but he quickly discarded the ridiculous notion as soon as it entered his mind. He had never even seen him before, and hardly ever even interacted with him; there was no reason for there to be any sort of bad blood between them. Unless he happened to be related to one of Stanley's many, many enemies, then perhaps his fear was a little warranted.

However, the old guard made no move to attack or do anything other than stare judgmentally, almost expectantly. For the first time in a long time, Stanley felt like a child being caught doing something he wasn't supposed to do. He tried his best to keep his uncomfortable squirming to a minimum under the unrelenting gaze, stubbornly returning the man's gaze with his own wary glare. His cat’s muffled whining came from inside his jacket. The traitor, she was leaving him to deal with the old man on his own.

With an exasperated jerk of his head, the security guard gestured towards the inside of the station. For a moment, Stanley stared dumbly, uncomprehending of what the old man could possibly want from him. Rolling his eyes, this time the man gestured more insistently at the small gap that still remained between the metal gate and the entrance, his arm sweeping the air in a low arc as he dramatically urged Stanley inside. Suddenly, it clicked, and Stanley shook his head.

“I have a car,” he said plainly, his voice echoing loudly in the desolate silence of the winter night that surrounded the unlikely pair.

He wasn't sure why he was so nervous, it wasn't as though he was lying. He did have a car, his trusty Stanley-mobile was parked safely away in the corner of an unassuming alley that wasn't often frequented by anyone. There was no way he was reaching it tonight, though; it was practically on the other side of the city, much too far away for him to arrive at a reasonable time. His nightly excursions to meet his small friend unfortunately left him with no other choice than to leave his car behind, the hunk of metal far too unwieldy and noticeable to drive around openly on the streets. He never knew who could be watching, after all.

He had simply been hoping to find himself a dark corner to tuck himself into with his cat, just for the night, but it seemed as though the universe had other plans. Or rather, this strange old man had other plans.

Although, if Stanley thought about it, the subway wasn't such a bad suggestion. This was one of the safer stations in the city; and with the rich neighborhoods being so close by, no rogue criminal or dealers dared to come near this area unless they wanted to be slapped with a hefty fine or face a higher potential to be arrested. And of course, there was the obvious shelter from the unrelenting cold that now seemed to permeate his bones, even with the purring warmth that was nestled inside his jacket.

So, that was how he found himself hunkering down for the night inside a shabby old subway station, with a satisfied cat still rumbling away against his chest and a strange old security guard locking down the gates behind him. The man said nothing as he hooked his keys back onto his belt and gave a firm pat on Stanley's shoulders as he walked past him, pausing to scratch his cat behind her ears before moving away. His footsteps bounced off of the grimy tiled walls with an odd reverb as he turned a corner.

“You'll be safe in here,” the man said, voice sage and gravelly. The words had a weight to them, and seemed to hang in the air with such a presence it was as though the old man had never even left his side.

The subway was empty, quiet. It was such a stark contrast to the loud rowdiness of the rush hour crowd these halls once held. Stanley hadn't yet registered the utter silence of the station as he aimlessly made his way down the winding, deserted halls of the ancient station. He mindlessly walked past the aged and peeling advertising posters plastered on the walls, his nose becoming accustomed to the stinging stench of the subway. The quiet seemed to swallow the sound of his steps as he explored the branching paths and endless tunnels. They were almost kaleidoscopic, dizzying, nonsensical. There were doors where there shouldn't be, and deadends where it didn't make sense.

The silence only began to truly settle in his bones the more he walked. He suddenly wished that he would head the telltale footsteps of the old security guard again, just to hear another sign of life in this underground hellscape other than himself. The ghostly memories of screeching trains and bustling crowds haunted the halls; now, only nothingness reigned supreme. He glanced down at his small feline companion, who slumbered away against his chest, blissfully unaware of his jackrabbiting heartbeat threatening to burst out of his ribs. The silence seemed to permeate every inch of space and crush the air out of his lungs. He couldn't breathe.

Stanley’s steps grew faster, more frantic as the walls and ceilings seemed to close in on him. They grew smaller, tighter; squeezing, trapping. He hardly even registered his cat's complaints as she was jostled around in his grasp, breaking into a full out run. His breathing sounded loud, too loud, and the world was collapsing around him.

When he finally broke out into a large, open platform, he could finally breathe again. He had arrived at the tracks, the empty tunnel where the trains would pass an empty, gaping maw in the wall that seemed to swallow all light around it and beckon him closer. He felt his cat wriggle out from within his jacket and hop out with a displeasured yowl, scampering away and disappearing behind a corner much like the old man had. True silence pierced his ears and thrummed like a deafening pressure in his temples. He was alone.

Stanley was stuck in that subway station for years.

[obsessedwithceleste]

The Cat Chronicles

(Or five times Theodore Nott *accidentally* stole your cat)

Theodore Nott x reader

word count: 5.9k

©️ obsessedwithceleste. all works posted here belong to me and should not be reposted or copied in any way or form.

1

The first time your cat went missing, you didn’t think entirely too much of it. You knew many of the Hogwarts cats liked to gather behind the herbology greenhouse where a particularly plentiful patch of catnip grew. However, Gladys was never one to miss meal time, and when the time came to 30 minutes after her usual feeding time, you knew something was amiss. With a sigh, you made your way out to your common room where you saw Cho sitting by the fireplace with several other of your class mates.

“Has anyone seen Gladys wandering about? She missed feeding time and I haven’t seen her much today,” you say as you approach the group.

“I haven’t, sorry y/n. We’ll keep a look out for her though,” Cho tells you.

You let out a small sigh of disappointment.

“Thanks Cho,” you say before heading out to wander the halls of the castle, hoping to find your elusive, black cat.

You start out by the greenhouse where you see a whole gaggle of cats, but none with the sleek black coat that identified your furry friend. You then walked around the grounds a bit more with no luck, before moving on to the kitchens where several of the house elves promised to keep an eye out for the small black cat. You even checked several empty class rooms before coming to a stop outside the library. It wouldn’t hurt to check. Twenty minutes later, you were still completely out of luck. Tired and frustrated, you were about to call it a night when a loud chorus of voices turn down the hall. You look to see who it was and find a hoard of Slytherin boys making their way towards you. You recognized them of course, but didn’t exactly know them. What you did know however, was the mop of black fur one of the taller boys in the back of the group was holding.

“Gladys!” You exclaim, rushing towards the group of boys.

Their eyes all turn towards you and at the sound of her name, the fiesty black cat springs from the arms of the boy and runs towards you.

With a large grin of relief, you scoop the cat up into your arms, feeling her light purr as you scratch behind her ears. Feeling several pairs of eyes on you, you look up to see the group of boys still staring at you and your cat.

“Um, thanks, for finding my cat,” you say awkwardly, squeezing the cat to your chest lightly. The tall, brunette boy who had just been holding your cat only nods silently before turning and walking off, the rest of the group following, except one.

“Hey, sorry about Theo. He means well, really. Man really likes cats, but doesn’t have one of his own, so he sometimes makes friends with cats wandering the halls. We’ve all told him that he should probably stop, ah, borrowing, people’s cats, but he can’t seem to resist. Names Enzo by the way,” the boy says with a friendly smile, extending his hand out.

You take his hand, shaking it cautiously before a smile creeps it’s way onto your face.

“Thank you, Enzo.” You say, hesitating a moment before adding, “You know, Gladys is a picky bitch. Theo must be a pretty okay person if she let him carry her around.” You tell him before disappearing with your cat.

2

The second time your cat went missing, you honestly didn't realize she was missing at all. Theo had found his way down to the kitchens about a week after the original cat incident. That's how he thought of it anyway. The kitchens were one of his favorite places to lurk as not many students knew of the secret entrance behind one particular painting of a fruit bowl. The real attraction that often drew the brunette boy to the hidden sanctuary however, was the constant stream of cats that often visited the house elves who happily offered up dishes of cream and other treats. Plopping himself down on the floor next to a particularly populated bowl of milk, Theo's eyes were immediately drawn to a familiar set of glowing yellow orbs.

"Hello there, Gladys," he said hesitantly, decently sure that was the name called out by the pretty Ravenclaw girl who had stolen the cat from him a few nights ago.

Well, stolen in this case was rather relative, as the cat was technically hers, he supposed. Hearing her name however, the little black cat pranced over, nuzzling her head affectionately against his leg with a soft purr. Picking the sweet creature up into his arms, Theo stroked her soft fur, thinking back to his encounter with her owner, a grimace reaching his face.

He had been a downright bloody idiot. That was for certain. Theo was not usually one to be rendered incompetent by the mere presence of a pretty girl. No. That was meant more for Enzo. Or even Draco sometimes. But never Theodore. In fact, Theo had quite the reputation for his tendency to sleep around which made the idea of his mind completely blanking at the sight of this cat's owner all the more embarrassing. Matteo had made fun of him ruthlessly later that night. What had he said again? Right. Absolutely nothing. Just nodded like a right dunce.

The only solace Theo had gotten from that night was when Enzo pulled him aside quietly and told him what the pretty girl from earlier had said about him. "He must be pretty okay." It was hardly a compliment, but after the fool he'd made of himself, it really was the best Theo could hope for. Shaking the thoughts from his mind, Theo once again focused on the little beast snuggling contentedly in his arms, carefully scratching behind the ears, a spot he'd found the cat quite liked.

The sound of the entrance painting swinging open startled Theo; and he honestly wasn't sure if he was elated, or absolutely mortified that the very girl who had been previously plaguing his thoughts was stepping through into the kitchens.

You honestly weren't entirely surprised to see the boy from a few nights ago sitting on the floor, cradling your cat, when you entered the kitchens. After Enzo had admitted to you that the handsome brunette had a soft spot for the castle's feline population, you figured it was only a matter of time until you bumped into him here considering it was a hot spot for the four legged beasts.

"Hello. See you've managed to find my cat again," you say, offering a small smile to the boy in front of you. After your encounter with that particular group of Slytherins, you did a bit of asking around, finding that Theodore Nott, while a bit known for his escapades with the female population, was actually one of the more talented wizards of your year. And one of the more level headed. (But in comparison to Draco and Matteo, you weren't exactly sure how much credit to give him there.)

The boy blinks up at you once before seeming to find his voice.

"She's a sweet little thing," he says finally, clearing his throat and looking anywhere but you.

You cautiously move forward, more worried about spooking the boy in front of you than the cats. Sitting down, you allow a pretty little Siamese kitten to wander into your lap. Gladys hisses with jealousy, but remains snuggled in the arms of the boy.

"She really seems to like you. Bit surprising. She's really not much of a people person," you tell him.

Theo nods at you, an action you found yourself growing familiar with.

"Enzo told me." He replies curtly.

You open your mouth to respond, but don't quite know how, so you let an awkward silence roll over the two of you.

"Well, I find that Gladys is a very good judge of character," you say finally.

Theo lets out a small smile at this, continuing to stroke your cat's soft fur. After that, the two of you fall into a comfortable silence with Theodore continuing to shower your cat with affection while you distract the many other felines, crowding the kitchen floor.

"Theo?" you wonder finally, the question burning away at you. The boy looks up, and you find yourself getting lost in the surprisingly soft brown eyes staring back at you. Breaking from the trance with a small shiver, you ask, "If you like cats so much, why don't you have one of your own?"

Theo's eyes immediately fall, and his hand freezes mid pet, much to Gladys' dismay. A pang of guilt washes through you.

"My father isn't much of an animal person," He replies stiffly.

You give him a small nod in response before rising from the floor.

"It's getting pretty late, I should get going," you say softly. "Gladys can find her way back to the tower on her own just fine," you add when you see Theo make no move to release the cat.

Without another word, you move to open the portrait door. You enter the hall with a small smile gracing your lips as you hear his voice quietly as the door closes.

"Thank you, y/n."

He knew your name.

3

The next time Theo met Gladys was much sooner than he expected. He had left the kitchens several hours ago and was now laying in bed. The clock sitting on his bed side now read 1am. The deafening silence was about to finally lull him to sleep when an insistent scratching at the door caused his eyes to fly open. Sitting up, Theo glanced at the door warily before finally deciding to cross the room to find out what was causing the noise.

As soon as the door opened, a black shadow darted through, making a beeline for his bed. How it seemed to know exactly where it was going, Theo had no clue. Making his way silently back to his bed, careful not to wake either of his roommates, Theo was finally able to make out the dark shape of an ever familiar black cat.

"Hi there, principessa," he whispered, gently stroking the cat's ears before crawling into the bed next to it. Gladys seemed to take this as an invitation to curl up in the nook of his arm, and Theo wasn't about to object. The last thought he remembered before drifting off was how nice it would be if Gladys' pretty owner was there too.

"Theo, what the fuck."

Theo woke with a start, to the loud voice of Lorenzo Berkshire ringing out above him. His eyes opened to see the other boy hovering over his bed, a look of shocked confusion apparent on his face.

"Is that y/n's cat?" he asks, leaning down as if to get a closer look at the fluff ball still snuggled in Theo's arms.

"No way," Matteo laughs from the other side of the room. "You stole her cat again? What, is this some sick and twisted new way for you to lure girls into your bed?"

Theo launches a pillow at Matteo's head. He doesn't miss.

"You better go return that thing before y/n starts to worry," Enzo advises, going back to his own side of the room. "And maybe just ask her out while you're at it hmm?" He adds, quickly ducking behind his fourposter before Theo has the chance to send another pillow flying his way.

With a heavy sigh, Theo comes to a stop outside of what he's pretty sure is the Ravenclaw common room. He's about to raise his hand to knock, when the golden eagle head mounted to the door springs to life.

"What gets broken, without being held?" The eagle asks, blinking at him slowly.

Right. Theo knew about this. The most annoying of the common room doors because instead of a password, the bloody door required you to answer a riddle. Theo was about to turn on his heel to leave when he felt a light presence behind him.

"Hello Theo. Hello Gladys." The platinum blonde haired girl said, giving the two of them an airy nod, before turning her attention to the door. "Would it perhaps be, a promise?" she asks.

The door swings open and Theo quickly hurries after the girl, making his way up the staircase. He'd never actually been inside the Ravenclaw common room, and his breath hitched when they reached the top of the stairs. The main room really was magnificent, nothing like the dark, eerie dungeons of the Slytherin common room. Theo eyed the shelves of books lining the wall longingly.

"Her room is just there, up and to the left," the blonde girl he'd followed in says, breaking him from his thoughts.

"Huh?"

"Y/n? Her room is just there," the girl repeats, gesturing to a door at the top of another small flight of stairs.

"Oh. thanks," Theo makes out, giving the girl a nod of gratitude.

"Name's Luna by the way. Luna Lovegood." She says whimsically before floating off.

With a deep inhale to calm his nerves, Theo makes his way up the stairs and knocks gently on the door. Gladys lets out a meow of protest. Absolutely nothing could have prepared Theo for what was on the other side of the door. He felt his throat go completely dry as the door swung open and you stood in front of him in what was probably the shortest, skimpiest set of clothing that could possibly be considered pajamas. Theo tried not to stare, he really did, but he was only a man. A very weak and smitten man.

"Oh! There you are Gladys. I wondered where you wandered off to last night!" you say looking at your cat and then back up at Theo, and then again at your cat before looking back up at Theo expectantly. "Um. May I have my cat back?"

Theo jolts back to life, realizing he'd been staring and looks at you sheepishly.

"Sorry, don't know how this little one found me. Snuck her way into the Slytherin common room and then into my dorm. Didn't want to leave her in the halls alone, so I let her stay the night," he tells you.

You stare at the boy in shock, realizing that was the longest string of words you'd ever heard out of him.

"Wow Theodore, I'm impressed. I think that's the most I've ever heard you talk. And here I was thinking you were secretly illiterate," you say with a playful grin.

"Please," the boy scoffs. "I'm the picture of eloquence."

Interested in where this sudden burst of confidence that you didn't normally see from him had come from, you take a step back, inviting him into your room. He hesitantly accepts your invitation, bringing Gladys along with him.

"No roommates?" he asks, perching on the edge of your bed as Gladys purrs softly on his lap. At the moment, you found nothing more attractive than this man absolutely pampering your beloved pet.

"Not many Ravenclaw girls in our year, we had the option to share, but most of us opted for solo rooms. Wanted the extra privacy, I suppose," you tell him, leaning on one of the posts at the end of your bed.

Theo nods his head at this.

"I have two roommates," he shares.

"One of them happen to be Enzo Berkshire?"

Theo nods again. "And Matteo. Riddle" he adds.

You cock your head at that with a grin.

"Interesting pairing," you comment, imagining the chaos those two must bring with them.

"It never gets boring," Theo responds.

A moment of silence passes.

"I was wondering if you wanted to study together sometime. I hear you're exceptionally talented at potions. And Charms. And everything really." Theo lets out finally.

You raise an eyebrow at the boy, internally screaming.

Trying to keep your cool, you tilt your head, "I hear you are too."

It's like a switch flips inside Theo.

"Well, we're obviously perfect for each other than," He replies easily, a cocky grin beginning to spread across his face. "Meet you in the library tomorrow at 7? And bring the cat."

You let out a laugh as Theo rises from the bed, gently placing Gladys down on the pillow, before going to make his way out of your dorm.

"You only like me for my cat," you joke, shifting to watch as he crosses the room to the door.

"Not just for your cat," he assures you, "I love the outfit, wear it for me more often, hmm?" he says slyly before the door thuds shut behind him.

You look down at your outfit, jaw dropping open and heat rushing to your cheeks.

4

Theo's head was pounding. Music pumped through the Slytherin common room and Theo could barely see through the crowds of people around him as he pushed his way to the circle of sofas occupied by his friends. Collapsing into a spot next to Matteo, the boy offered him another shot of who-knew-what which he quickly knocked back.

"When's that pretty little thing that's been occupying all your time gonna join us at one of our little gathering?" Matteo slurs out, gesturing to the large crowd around them.

Over the past several weeks, you and Theo had grown significantly closer; your first study date quickly becoming a daily occurrence as you found that you each were able to easily keep up with one another. Something about having a partner who was actually able to challenge you was exhilarating. From there, you found yourselves often seeking each other out simply for the sake of good company, Gladys largely increasing the number of these meetings.

"Don't know that Gladys would like it. Cat's aren't supposed to ingest alcohol," Theo responded, not quite drunk enough to fall for his friend's taunting.

Enzo places another shot in his hand, and Theo raises a brow at him, before knocking that one back as well.

"Did you ever ask y/n why in Salazar's name, she choose to name her cat Gladys?" Matteo asks. "If my name were Gladys, I'd being running off constantly too."

Theo thumps Matteo on the back of the head.

"You leave our cat out of this, she ain't do nothin wrong," he says, glaring at his friend.

"So now she's our cat is she?" Enzo asks, a smirk growing on his face. "Didn't know you and y/n were so serious."

"It's our cat damnit! If marrying y/n is what it takes to finally have a cat of my own, so be it," Theo says decidedly.

Enzo snorts at his clearly, very drunk friend. "Careful, or one might think you're only into her for her cat. And not the cunty kind."

Theo scowls at this. "Y/n says that all the time, but have you seen that ass? And the way she mopped the floor with Draco in potions the other day? She's perfect."

"Yeah? Why don't you go tell her that then?" Matteo says, wanting nothing more than to see a drunk Theo try to make his way to Ravenclaw Tower.

"You know what? I will. And I'll pet Gladys too." Theo states. A look of pure, intoxicated determination set on his face.

Lorenzo eyes his friend warily. While not exactly sober himself, he didn’t particularly like the look his friend was giving them.

“Aw c’mon Enz, don’t you try and be the voice of reason now,” Matteo drawls, sensing the hesitation coming from his friend. “Don’t you want to meet the lil thing our beloved Theodore has been obsessing over for weeks now?”

“I’m not obsessing,” Theo snaps, taking a sip straight out of a random bottle he’d picked up from the table.

“Let’s go. I’m gonna steal her cat. For real this time.”

With a wide grin, Matteo jumps up, ready to follow his friend wherever the night took him. With a low groan, Enzo followed suit, knowing that his pair of roommates would need some sort of guidance to prevent them from walking themselves straight of the edge of the astronomy tower.

You didn’t have a lot of expectations for the quiet Friday night that you were spending curled up with a book and your cat. It was late, and after a long and stressful week, the time alone with Gladys was just what you needed to really recharge. You had spent most of your day lounging out on the lawn next to the Black Lake with Theodore, studying with and harassing the boy. A small smile crept onto your face, remembering the way his brown curls had floated about in the soft breeze.

You really hadn’t expected for the two of you to become so close, so quickly, but you weren’t complaining. You’d grown quite fond of the boy, especially once he started opening up a bit more. You’d initially thought that he was a man of very few words, but quickly learned he was in fact very sharp witted and even a bit snarky at times. Time spent with him had easily become your favorite part of the day and was something you were constantly looking forward to.

A sharp knock jolted you from your thoughts, causing you to jump a bit where you were sitting, Gladys letting out a yowl of protest.

You quickly cross the room and open the door to find a very miffed looking Cho, a frown imbedded on her face.

“Sorry to bother, but could you please come get your boy under control? He’s upsetting the portraits.” She says.

You blink once. Then again.

“Sorry?”

“Your Slytherin fellow? He’s out in the corridor with two of his friends harassing the door,” she explains, turning to lead you down the spiral staircase.

You’re not even halfway down when you begin to hear the voices.

“Who in the bloody hell would want to be in Ravenclaw with this blast-ended skewt ass looking-“

“Matteo you can’t curse out the door.”

“I’ll curse at the bloody door if I want to bloody curse at it.”

You grimace, looking at Cho who looks back with a similarly displeased facial expression.

“Sorry bout them. I’ll take it from here,” you tell her when you reach the bottom.

With a slight nod, she turns to retreat back up the stairs. With a sigh, you push the door open, almost taking out Matteo who had been leaning on it for support.

“Hi amore, fancy seeing you here,” Theo slurs, a grin taking over his face at the sight of you.

Enzo leans against a pillar, face in hands, looking like he wanted to disappear. You could smell the alcohol on all of them.

“Hi Theodore. Are you sober?” You ask, already knowing the answer.

“I’m moderately functional,” he replies with a lopsided smile.

“I’m taking that as a no,” you say, glancing worriedly at Matteo who was currently laying spread eagle on the floor. “Let’s get you boys back to your common room.”

“I wouldn’t. Party’s not gonna end any time soon. They’ll just get more hammered and start wandering off again,” Enzo advises, head still in hands. “Like herding hippogriffs with those two.”

“And Theo hasn’t proclaimed his undying love for y/n yet!” Matteo adds.

You feel heat rise to your cheeks and Theo glowers at his friend.

“It’s okay Theo, I know he’s drunk,” you say, not certain if you were saying it more to comfort him or yourself.

Theo ignores you however, turning his attention back to the door.

“Let us in, I just want to pet the cat,” he tells the door, swaying ever so slightly.

For Salazar’s sake. Man gets absolutely wasted and just wants to pet your cat. You go to grab onto Theo to steady him, but he has other plans. Immediately, he wraps his arms around you, nuzzling his face into your hair.

“Hi,” he mumbles, picking you up just enough that your toes barely touch the ground. “I missed you. Can we see the cat now?”

Not knowing what else to do, you glance helplessly at Enzo.

“Would you be able to get Matteo up the stairs?” You ask.

“I can try. He’s a stubborn bastard though.”

You turn back to the door, knocking once. The eagle once again moves to life, glaring at the scene in front of it.

“If the day before yesterday was the 23rd, what is the day after tomorrow?” It asks crankily.

“We’re too fucking wasted for this bloody bullshit,” Matteo moans from the floor.

You try to ignore Theo’s tight grasp on your waist and Enzo prodding at Matteo with his foot before answering. “The 27th.”

The door swings open and you try your best to haul Theo through, Enzo following closely behind with a very disgruntled Matteo. Dragging the boys up the staircase feels like the most difficult task of your life as you constantly tell Matteo to lower his voice and mind his mouth while also trying to ignore the very minimal distance between yourself and Theodore. When you finally make it to the top, you rush to herd the boys into your room before slamming the door shut behind you with relief. Theo immediately stumbles over to your bed, collapsing face first in the middle and snatching Gladys into his arms.

“No roommates?” Enzo asks, looking around the room and seeing the single empty bed that you had pushed into the corner at the beginning of the year.

“No, thank Rowena. I would not want to have to explain whatever this is.” You reply, motioning to Theo and Matteo who was now wandering about the room.

“Room’s a mess. Coulda at least cleaned up a bit,” he says, poking at the various books and blank scrolls lying about.

“Had I known I would be having guests at,” you glance at the clock, “almost 2 in the morning, I’m sure I would have.” You say dryly.

Retrieving your wand from your desk, you point it at the spare bed. “Engorgio.” The wooden frame creaks as it expands until it can comfortably fit 2 people. You look at Enzo.

“Good luck with that one,” you say, almost feeling sorry for the boy as Matteo flops onto the bed with a groan.

“Looks like you’re gonna need it more than me,” he replies, gesturing to Theo who was out cold, Gladys trapped and bug eyed in his grasp. With a sigh you and Enzo each resign yourselves to your respective charge.

“Theodore,” you whisper, giving the boy a light shove. No sign of life. You give him a slightly harder shove, allowing Gladys is wriggle out of her prison. Frowning, you sit down on the edge of the bed, using most of your body weight to shove Theo to one side of the bed before sliding under the covers. Now deeming it safe, Gladys hops back into the bed, nestling into your arms happily. You’re about to close your eyes when you feel arms snaking around your waste, pulling you into the very warm chest of Theodore Nott. You freeze, holding your breath, not sure if the boy is asleep or not.

“Goodnight mi amore,” he whispers into your neck, causing the hairs to prickle.

Definitely not asleep.

“Goodnight Theodore.”

You hadn’t had any expectations for the night really, but you definitely had not expected to have multiple overnight guests who were trying to steal your cat. And you most certainly did not expect to drift off in the arms of Theodore Nott.

5

The next morning you wake up missing the usual lump of fur weighing down on your chest. Immediately you bolt upright, eyes shooting around for any sign of your furry companion before the events of last night wash over you. Enzo and Matteo are both still out cold and when you look down, your jaw drops open. Theo is fast asleep, back facing you, Gladys snoozing contentedly while cradled in his arms. Even in his sleep this absolute tosser had managed to steal your damn cat.

Careful not to wake the boys, or Gladys, you silently sneak across the room and disappear out the door. Once you’re safely out of hearing distance, you make your way quickly down the kitchens. A little known fact about the Hogwarts house elves was that many had once served in the homes of different wizarding families at one time or another. This meant that many of the elves were all too familiar with the valuable hangover potion that you sought.

Ducking in through the portrait hole, it wasn’t difficult to persuade the elves into handing over 3 glistening blue vials. You had always been kind to them, often chatting with them during your visits with the cats.

Your task complete, you made your way back to Ravenclaw tower, taking your time as you didn’t expect the boys to be up any time soon. They really had been plastered. Not even Enzo had been completely sober you recalled.

You’re just passing the entrance to the dungeons when a voice calls out.

“Hey! You!”

You’re ready to continue on your way before noticing that there was no one else in the corridor they could be referring to. You turn to see two girls you recognized as the Greengrass sisters hurrying towards you.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to startle you,” the shorter blonde girl says when they get closer. You’re pretty sure that one is Astoria. “You’re the girl Theo has been seeing right?”

You nod your head cautiously. You knew Theo had a reputation for getting around, so if that’s what this was about, things were about to become quite awkward.

“You haven’t happened to see him or Matteo or Lorenzo, have you?” The other girl, Daphne, asks.

“Draco said he saw the three of them leave the party together last night, but no one saw them come back,” Astoria explains.

You feel yourself immediately relax. Good. At least this was something you could help with.

“You two are lucky you found me then I suppose,” you tell them, gesturing for them to follow. “The three of them tried breaking into Ravenclaw tower last night, so I let them crash in my dorm.”

“Oh Salazar. Were they trying to steal your cat? I’m so sorry. When Matteo gets drunk he has a tendency to try and egg Theo on,” Astoria frets.

You give the girls a strange look. “You know about my cat?” You ask, surprised.

“Oh sure,” Daphne replies. “Whole group does really. Boys came back one night going on about how Theo was just smitten with some Ravenclaw with a cute cat. And I can see why. You’re gorgeous by the way.”

You blush at her statement, diverting the subject away.

“The boys should probably still be asleep. I just ran down to the kitchens to get these,” you tell them, brandishing the potions you had gathered. “Once they’ve downed these, they’re all yours.”

Astoria eyes the potions with jealousy and you realize the two girls were probably decently hung over as well.

“Oh you can keep Theo, we were really just looking to collect Enzo and Matt,” Daphne laughs, giving you a sly look. You open your mouth to reply, but stop realizing you had reached your common room door.

After a few attempts, you’re finally able to solve the blasted riddle and the door swings open.

“I don’t think we’ve ever had this many Slytherins in our common room before,” you joke, leading the girls up to your room.

Pushing the door open, you’re unsurprised to see the boys still passed out.

“This must be the infamous Gladys,” Daphne whispers, quietly approaching Theo who was still clutching onto Gladys as if his life depended on it. Again you’re surprised that these girls apparently even knew the name of your cat.

The two coo at the sight of your cat, coming to the conclusion that she was indeed worthy of warranting cat theft before Astoria finally decided it was time for them to get the boys out of your hair. They migrated over to the other side of the room where Enzo and Matteo were sound asleep, leaving you to deal with Theo.

You decide the easiest route, may just be to lure Gladys away, so you fetch her food dish before accio-ing her kibble container. At the sound of her food, Gladys was up and running, darting over for her morning feast. At the sudden loss of fluffy heat, Theo groaned, rolling over, face down into the pillows. After giving Gladys her food, you move back to Theo, giving him a rough shake.

“Come back to bed principessa,” he grumbles, reaching out and flailing his arm in your general direction.

“It’s time to get up Theodore. Come on, I got you three hangover potions,” you say, waving one over his head.

“Did someone say hangover potion? Give,” Matteo demands from the other side of the room. You look over to see Daphne and Astoria sitting on the side of the bed while Matteo and Enzo were groggily waking up.

Pulling out her wand, Daphne gestured for you to toss her the potions which her magic catches easily, levitating the vials over to the other two boys. Matteo snatches one out of the air, quickly downing half before offering the other half to Astoria. Enzo does the same, giving the second half to Daphne who graciously accepts. After a moment, the four of them are looking much more awake.

“Thanks for making sure these three didn’t drown themselves in the lake,” Astoria says, once the potion had really kicked. “And sorry you’re not having more luck with that one. He’s always been a late riser.”

“You’ll be lucky to get him up in the next hour,” Enzo agrees, rising from the bed. “Thanks again y/n.”

The four of them shuffle out of your dorm, a chorus is thanks and apologies strung along until they reached the door. Even Matteo gave you a nod of gratitude. Once they were all gone, you collapse once more onto your bed.

“They finally gone?” You hear Theo ask, as he rolls over to look at you. You nod, faces so close that your noses are practically touching and you can feel small puffs of air as he exhales. “Thanks for last night. I’m sorry for trying to steal your cat.”

You let out a snort at that. “Did you know when I woke up this morning, you had turned away from me completely, and stolen my cat away from me in your sleep?” You ask with a laugh.

Theo at least has the decency to look embarrassed as Gladys joins the two of you once more.

“I should do this more often,” Theo says finally, reaching out to stroke Gladys’s fur.

“What? Get downright plastered and break into my room, or steal my cat?” You scoff.

“Sleep in your bed with you.”

You freeze, looking up to see if the boy was being serious. His eyes blink back at you unwavering.

“You can come back any time,” you tell him, snuggling your way into his chest, ready to fall back asleep in the boy’s arms.

“Will Gladys be here?”

“Oh my god, yes she will be here,” you say dramatically throwing your head back.

Theo grins down at you, leaning in and pressing his lips softly against yours.

“I’m only joking amore,” he says, pressing another kiss to the top of your nose.

“Of course Gladys would be here, she adores me.”

“Get out of my bed.”

A/N

My biggest regret in life, is being highly allergic to cats </3

[mactavishsgfandwife]

Simon "Ghost" Riley and Your New Cat 🌷

simon having beef with a stray cat you brought home silly little idea i had no content warnings, just cute fluff, female reader :3 not proofread!

i just realised the cat’s name changes half way through 😭 i’ve fixed it now - 04/11/2024

"What the hell is tha’?" he laughed, rubbing the back of his neck as he stared in disbelief at the little black kitten in your lap.

"I found him. He’s called Lettuce," you grin, cuddling the cat to your chest. You’re well aware that lettuce is a stupid name for a cat, but it just seemed right at the time. The kitten was tiny, and had seemed very weak when you’d discovered him shivering in a box outside your apartment block. Now, he seemed a lot more comfortable, making a little home for himself on your sweater. He was so small - he literally fit in the palm of your hand - but his frizzy black hair stuck out at every angle so that he looked less like a kitten and more like a wiry pompom.

"Love," Simon laughed, rubbing his face with a sigh, "Lettuce looks like a flea. Where the hell di’you find ‘im?"

"Oi, he does not! Well, maybe a bit. I found him in a box. He was meowing at me, he looked so cold…" you stroke the kitten’s cheek with your thumb as you he meows up at you.

"You can’t keep him, he might have diseases. You should give him to a pet shelter." Your boyfriend wasn’t being harsh, he was just worried about you - he didn’t want your little heart breaking because you’d got all attached to a poorly little kitten who might not last the week. But it didn’t come off like that.

"Wh… what..?" you frown, cupping the kitty in your hands to protect it.

"I’ll drive you to the shelter tomorrow, okay?"

"What? Si, no!"

"Baby…" he sighs, trying not to upset you "you can’t just find a scruffy animal on the street and take it home."

"S’what I did with you ," you pout, pulling the same face at him as Lettuce pulls at your sweater sleeve as he paws at it.

"Look," he crosses his arms, about to explain to you the reasons why you two don’t have the space for a cat, nor the prior knowledge. What if the cat walks in on the two of you in bed? What if it bites you and his pretty girl gets hurt? What if you end up loving the cat more than Simon and it steals you away? But your pleading eyes and the tiny, stupid looking kitten chirping in your laps convinces him. If you really wanted anything, you know he’d get it for you, so he’ll let you have your silly kitten.

"Alright, fine. For now." He laughs, ruffling his hair.

"I love you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I love you!" you squeal, gently placing the cat down before jumping up with and wrapping your arms around your boyfriend. He rubs your back softly, watching the stupid fluffy ball on the sofa chirp for your attention. Just because he’s letting you have the cat doesn’t mean he won’t see it as his mortal enemy.

The next morning, after having gone out to buy cat food for you, Simon is sitting on the sofa, softly kissing your neck from behind. You’re sitting in his lap… completely ignoring his affection in favour of the kitty.

"Si, look! He can walk!" you grin, holding the kitten up so it looks like it’s standing on two feet.

"Mhm… cute…" Simon mumbles into the nape of your next, a strong hand wrapping around your waist to pull you into his chest. He is not watching the cat, he’s busy with you.

"I know right!" you ignore his advances still, gazing at your new pet with adoration, "I should make him a little hat, he’d look so sweet."

"Yeah, fuck, you’re so sweet…" Si keeps kissing you, moving between your neck and your shoulders, which are hidden inside his old tshirt.

"He’s so cute," you grin, stroking the back of the kitten’s head until it purrs, "I love him so much… he’s my baby."

That catches Simon off guard. He would never admit it to anyone, but he loves it when you call him your baby. He’s the only one you should be calling baby. This cat is stealing his girl. [gasp]

Si shoots the kitten a death stare.

"Oh yeah, he’s your baby?"

"Yeah, he’s the cutest…"

"Mhm. I’m sure," he pouts. When you’re not looking, he glares at the cat and points from his grey eyes to its little beady ones, like he’s trying to intimidate it.

A few days later, the two of you fall asleep together, with Simon spooning you and holding you close. But you forgot to shut the door. So your boyfriend is rudely awakened by a very small, scruffy kitten stomping on his chest.

"No, oi, get off of me," you can hear him grumbling sleepily as you start to stir, alongside the cute chirping of your kitty.

"Listen, Lettu- cat. Stupid name anyways. We can’t have you disturbing the Mrs, alright?"

You can hear him pause until he hears the kitten meow softly in response.

"Tha’s right, soldier. She’s my Mrs, not yours, and if you so much as try to change that, I will never let you see her again. My girl. Mine," he pouts.

The kitten meows again, as if he’s responding to Simon’s orders. You have to try your hardest not to giggle, biting your lip in the dark as you listen to your big, tough boyfriend have an argument with a little kitten.

"Alright, now leave the lady alone." You almost think you can hear him plant a kiss on the cat’s head before he sets it down at the side of the bed.

You’re away for the weekend, visiting family, without your boys (Simon and the kitten). :(

Simon’s fine, he’s a tough guy, he has no issue being alone - that is, until he’s poorly and he needs you to cuddle him and make him tea. But you’re not there, and talking to you over the phone only makes him feel worse.

So he resorts to laying in bed, in the shade, trying to nap. Poor boy feels too ill to do anything else (he has the man flu).

With the back of his hand over his forehead, one leg over the covers and one leg under, not quite sure whether he’s awake or asleep, he closes his eyes and frowns. A little black ball hops up onto his bed, waking him up a little.

It plods around in a little circle, looking around and exploring its new environment. When the fuzz creature spots Simon, he waddles over curiously, his little feet sinking into the soft duvet cover.

"Hey, cat," Simon smiles softly, watching the fluffy baby wander and get closer to his face. It looks up into his eyes, chirping, and brushes its fur against his cheek before settling into the crook of his neck.

He chuckles, closing his eyes as the tiny guy curls into a ball against him. The rivalry isn’t quite over for Simon, but that funny looking kitty is a little piece of you, and he’s happy to have its affection.

When you come home, it’s to the two of them, cuddled up on your bed. Silently, you change into a t-shirt and slip into bed behind Simon, planting a little kiss on his cheek.

"Told you he was cute."

how i imagine your kitten 💗

i spent way longer on this than i thought i would but it’s so cute and i loved writing it! hope you enjoy lovieeees

[todayontumblr]

Tuesday, December 19.

This cat looks like Cillian Murphy

I mean

@important-animal-images

[coolcattime]

Fortune's Fate: Part One [Mianite Mortal Deity Swap]

Characters: Captain Capsize, Jordan Captainsparklez

Relationship: Captain Capsize & Skipper Redbeard

Additional Tags: Major Character Death, Grief/Mourning, Suicidal Thoughts, Imprisonment

> Part One < 🎇 Part Two

AO3 Link

Full AU Tag

In this world, there are four gods who rule over the plains and tides of fate that control the lives of mortals:

Lord Tucker - God of the Overworld and Order

Lord Tom - God of the Nether and Chaos

Lord Jordan - God of the End and Balance

and Lady Sonja - Goddess of the Deep Dark and Secrets

However, though mostly forgotten to mortals, only a few short centuries ago another pair of gods ruled with the rest: Lady Capsize, Goddess of Fortune and Lord Redbeard, God of Misfortune. The twin deities disappeared without a trace - a tragedy grieved by their fellow gods as years begun to pass without any hint of their reappearances.

However, their disappearance was not quite as much of a mystery to all their fellow gods as they would let on to the world.

Part One: Fortune

It was, by all accounts, a completely ordinary day.

The world was, as it had been for many a year, completely at peace. The gods were in harmony with each other for the most part, their quarrels being merely that, rather than true fights extending to and affecting the lives of mortals.

The Goddess of Fortune was particularly fond of and found herself thriving in the peace. She always found her head far clearer when she was not receiving prayers for her favour from every soldier in a soon to be bloody battle. In times like these exactly how she chose to focus her domain had far less grizzly effects on the state of the world.

Thus, she liked these peaceful times where her own interests could be her focus. On days like these, she could grant her favour to whichever mortals that happened to catch her eye. To those she believed had the potential to become legends.

Though, Capsize did acknowledge the need to consider the balance. Fortune was meaningless if it was all someone experienced, after all. So, she kept herself in line with the misfortune that her brother was doling out. It was easy enough as the tides of fortune were second nature to her. Even if she couldn’t, she trusted her brother to do his job, just as he trusted her.

The siblings were not always in time, did not always react to what the other doled out immediately, but the understanding of how to balance the other was a part of their very beings. No matter how long one seemed to be in control of the fates of the world, the other’s domain would always rise back and return in kind.

Hence, Capsize saw little reason that having favourites among mortals was any sort of trouble. If she gave any one more fortune than could rightly be justified, then her brother would set them up with a fall.

And she saw no problem with that. It made their tales just that bit more interesting. Though she understood that setting up the mortals on purpose for such a stroke of misfortune merely for her own entertainment was, admittedly, selfish. So, she tried to keep her blessings balanced and let her brother dole out his domain as he willed - just as she did.

Today her interest had been caught once more. A mortal praying for fortune as so many often did, but this one had the makings of a legend. She could just taste it.

They were not a follower of either her or her brother. Few were as the twins were seen as minor deities that rather just assisted with keeping the world functioning. No, this particular mortal was a follower of Tom, Lord of Chaos. Just as most of those that happened to catch her attention were.

That was not to say that she never found interest in followers of the others. It was just… Well… Sonja had as few followers as herself and her brother, so it was quite expected for them to so rarely catch her interest. Meanwhile Tucker and Jordan’s followers just tended to be more strait-laced. Sure, she’d find potential among them occasionally, but it was just a little more difficult when few were ever as bold as Tom's followers.

Like this one that she was currently watching through the eyes of a bat as they ventured ever deeper into a cave network. She could taste the potential, the dreams and ambitions just dripping off them. It was delicious.

They were praying for her favour as they intended to find a lost city in the depths of the Nether. She could not remember herself if such a city had ever existed, but the journey itself she was sure would be worth a watch.

This was one that deserved her favour, she was sure. However, before she could actually bless them with enough fortune to guarantee the beginning of their journey, she was quite rudely interrupted.

“Capsize!” Lord Jordan’s voice cut through her observation, immediately dragging her back to her temple in the End. Thankfully she was used to such jarring transitions, it barely took a moment for her to adjust to her regular form. Though, while she was not jarred, she was certainly annoyed.

Jordan stood before her with his eyes piercing into her, annoyance written across his features as was typical of him when it was just the two of them. Yes, she had grown quite used to the expression and cared little about seeing it once again. His approval meant little to her, as did his petulance. She may aid with keeping the world’s balance, but she was not his to control as he seemed to believe.

His expression did not change as she frowned at him.

She supposed his glare would pierce right through a mortal. It carried the intensity of the unending void, his irises looking like purple stars that could burn just as easily as they could guide. She supposed most of his features were similarly quite intimidating.

So many of them were dragon-like. His skin bore scales, his head horns, his mouth fangs, and his back wings. When he was particularly angry – so most of the times she saw him – he would breathe the poisonous fog that his dragon did. His eyes would glow even more intensely too, which was perhaps why she thought of them as being like stars.

Truly he was the End incarnate. A guardian and a beast – the Lord of Balance, a symbol of his own domain.

She could comparatively be called more human, though only a fool would actually mistake her for one in her true form. Golden glowing freckles covered her copper skin that shone beautifully in the light of sea lanterns that decorated the pillars of her temple. She was human as a statue. The features were right, but she was more a representation than anything else.

And what a representation she was. Looking at the Goddess of Fortune was like looking at one’s greatest victory. It was an aura that most mortals could not fully comprehend, so the tales on the less poetic end of the spectrum tended to just call her beautiful.

However, despite the descriptions given in the tales that mortals spun, her glare was no less intense than Jordan’s.

“Is this important? I was quite busy,” She said with a relatively calm tone, not rising from her throne. She had quite the desire to snap at him. After all, how dare he drag her away from bestowing fortune when someone interesting had come along once more. The words were practically stinging her tongue, begging to be said. However, she did not currently feel like bickering.

“Oh, I know you’ve been busy,” He replied with venom on his tongue, clearly not sharing her mindset. She supposed he never really did. If she was forced to describe him in the nicest way she could, she’d call him ‘particular’. Particular in what he thought balance was. Particular in how he thought she should act.

She would prefer to call him condescending, possessive, or simply just annoying. Again, though, she really was not looking to bicker. She simply wished for him to stop attempting to control the way she influenced her domain and granted her favour.

But clearly, that wish was not going to be granted today. “How much fortune have you granted to Tom’s followers today without regard for anyone else?!”

“Oh? Have I completely destroyed the balance of the world?” She asked with an innocent tilt of her head. She hoped that asking the direct question when she quite well knew the answer to be in the negative would get him to back off. The balance of fortune and misfortune was utterly fine. Not completely perfect, but she and Red kept each other in check.

Yet, as always, the Lord of Balance wanted to act as though she needed lecturing. So why not act oblivious? At least this way she would get back some of the entertainment that he had robbed from her. “Well, I can’t exactly take back the fortune I’ve already granted. Why don’t you bother Red about making them all trip over their own feet for a few days?”

She knew that the smile she asked with was bound to annoy him. Frankly, he deserved such a smile.

He would never annoy her brother in the way that he annoyed her. Nor did he ever go to him after these conversations to try and correct her apparent favouritism despite how that would be the way to correct it if it was actually a real issue. No, of course, he just liked bothering her.

It was as frustrating as it was obviously biassed. Yet she did quite enjoy prodding him into anger.

“Can you take the damage you’re causing seriously for once?!” He was already misting the air, purple fog leaking out his mouth. Why was he so upset about this today? She hadn’t even granted her new interest any favour yet - so what could it possibly be?

Yet clearly something had ticked him off since he was positively fuming. She was shocked that he wasn’t pointing an arrow at her throat with how close he seemed to be to physically lashing out. But Capsize supposed he did not want to bicker either. It just happened that his definition of arguing was quite different than hers. “You’ve gifted Tom a bottle of pure fortune!”

She tilted her head in confusion.

That was what had him this worked up? Her gift to Tom?

Why was he so damn boring?

The longer she remained quiet, the more intense his glare grew. She couldn’t just wait this out, she knew. His eyes were starting to get so bright that he was getting hard for her to look at. But what could she possibly say to satisfy him?

“You think that a gift that Tom is never going to use is causing damage to the balance?” She asked, raising her eyebrows as she lent on the armrest of her throne. She saw little point in taking this seriously when he was making such a big deal over nothing.

Her nonchalance only annoyed him more.

“It’s the potential of it, Cap!” He said, leaving her wrinkling her nose. He always lived in such silly what ifs and maybes, worrying about things that may never come to pass.

It was beyond unlikely that Tom would ever use the bottle that she gave him. He’d hide it alongside his other various treasures and occasionally bring it out to lord over his fellow gods. He liked being able to show off how she ‘liked him more than the rest of them’, using the bottle would rid himself of that possibility.

Besides, if he did use it, Red could negate its effects in an instant.

Yet, for some reason beyond her, here was Jordan causing her a headache over it. Fine, she could do the ‘rebalancing’ that he insisted.

“Very well,” She said, standing up. She approached the god, slowly and purposefully.

Jordan should not have been intimidated. He knew that she was not about to attack him. She was not so foolish. But seeing such a serious look always did send a chill down his spine.

With her shining skin and freckles, alongside the shards of diamonds, prismarine, and amethyst that adorned her curls and toga, she did not give the impression of a warrior. However, she was the Lady of Fortune. Her favour dictated the results of battles and wars. It was impossible to forget that when she approached.

But she did not strike.

Of course she did not. She was not attempting to start a war. She just wanted to get her point across.

So, she merely smiled at him. “I’ll go give a bottle to Tucker. That’ll keep the balance, right?”

She was taunting him, forcing him to admit that he did not want her to do such a thing.

Jordan glared with a barely controlled seethe. She seemed so damn proud of herself.

Still, Capsize merely smiled.

“Can we drink, Jordan?” It was as much a question as a command. He had rudely come into her temple and acted as if he had any rights over her domain. He should be glad she was willing to talk to him at all.

He looked quite like he was considering biting her head off.

However, that did not stop him from summoning two goblets of wine. He handed her one with a glare and scowl she found laughable.

She took a sip before speaking. It was sweeter than she expected, oddly floral considering what she knew of his tastes, but also far nicer than anything she expected him to conjure when he was in such a mood. “Why do you not trust me to manage my own domain?”

“Because you have never once acted with thought, and continuously favour Tom over myself and Tucker,” He said, in no way elaborating on the same tired points he always made. The same points that did nothing but annoy her as she knew without a doubt that he would have nothing to elaborate on.

He was at full strength. Balance was fine. He just seemed to resent her enjoying herself and not doting on his every whim. “If you could have any amount of care then we wouldn’t need to keep having this conversation.”

“I am careful. Though you would never deign to give me credit, my decisions are in fact made with great thought for how they affect the balance of fortune,” She said, the closest she had come to snapping throughout this whole conversation. He refused to acknowledge her as a deity just as he was. As a goddess that had a purpose and choice behind her decisions. He treated her as acting based only on whims and caring little if they lead to disaster.

She caught him rolling his eyes.

He was a self-centred fool. “If you wish to believe me the impulsive idiot that you continuously imagine, I will not remain here to be belittled.”

She downed her drink, shoving the empty goblet into his chest and caring little as it clattered to the ground. She would not be belittled in one of her own temples.

Maybe it was time to find her brother and discuss if it was time for a shift in the balance of their domains. She would remind Jordan what unbalanced fortune truly looked like.

However, she barely took a few steps before she felt so utterly wrong. Like a newborn fawn on ice as control of her body slipped away.

“I don’t think, I know you act completely on impulse,” Jordan said. His voice was dark in a way that it never had been before. He was approaching her as she stumbled and weakened, ready to take her where she would not be discovered. “But don’t worry. I’m sure we can figure that out in a more private setting.”

As he all but confessed to intentionally doing this to her, Capsize finally tasted the sickly flower. Pure wither rose essence, covered by the sweet wine. A deadly toxin to mortals, but it should be a mere intoxicant to a deity. With her powers of fortune, it should not have had any effect on her whatsoever.

However, Jordan had accounted for her domain. From the beginning of their conversation, he had been inflicting his own on her. Balance dictated that no one should have such a lucky life as her, that she was due a terrible event of misfortune.

She would be asleep soon, though she fought with all her might to remain awake. She did little but delay the inevitable.

She collapsed onto the floor of her own temple, left completely at the mercy of the Lord of Balance.

He stared down at her shining form. The Goddess of Fortune, a prize that had been sought by every warlord across the ages and she was his. Though he attempted to remind himself that this was just to teach her about the damage she was doing and correct the blatant favouritism she had been showing to Tom. However, he could not rid himself of the joy that he gained from having proven the legends wrong.

She was not an undefeatable goddess that controlled the fates of all. She was a fickle minor deity that cared little for the important role that she held.

So, he was going to make her learn. Even if his method was extreme. Even if he needed to do his job as well as hers. The protection of the balance was just too important to allow her to keep acting so selfishly.

⚖ ⚖ ⚖

Capsize awoke with foggy thoughts that were only made thicker by confusion. She had not been so weakened in many ages and the haziness that the poison had forced lingered even though she awoke with a fair amount of her strength returned.

Her eyes fought to stay closed. She was so damn tired.

However, she forced herself to resist, to force her own eyes open. When she finally did. The sight before her was enough to shock the exhaustion out of her bones.

“What…?!” She questioned as she found herself in a cage. A far too small cage on a tiny platform floating in the sky somewhere in the overworld. It was cramped, barely enough room to contain her as while she could sit or stand, she was barely able to do either and it certainly wasn’t comfortable.

Her confusion lasted only as long as it took for her head to clear. Longer than she might like, but her memories of the poisoning ran back into her mind, clear memories of Jordan’s betrayal. The memory itself was horrible enough on its own. One of her fellow gods imprisoning her was a terrible act that she had never so much as fathomed happening.

However, reality was only getting worse as the cage around her began to change. The iron bars glowed with a golden light – her golden light.

A draining sickness ran through her whole body, not painful but lingering. As this horrible feeling spread through her, she could sense fortune being granted to a number of cities of Jordan and Tucker’s followers. Far too much fortune for the current state of things.

As the glow faded, the draining numbness did not subside. Though it was such a horrible weakness, she should’ve been able to recover from it in mere seconds. Instead, it remained, drilling down to her very core. Surely, she couldn’t still be so weakened by the poison, but why else would she feel so empty?

That particular feeling, the wrongful emptiness, put an even starker fear into her.

No. He couldn’t have dared. It would be an act beyond just imprisoning her and using her domain. An act that even with all their arguments she never would’ve believed him capable of committing.

Yet, what little belief she had in him was dashed as she pulled down the top of her toga and revealed a gold fissure in her chest.

“No…” She kept staring in disbelief. He had actually taken it.

Her heart had been stolen.

She had been reduced to little more than a power source for whatever Jordan desired to do with fortune.

She had never been so consumed by anger. She slammed her fists into the bars.

It hurt, despite how the bars seemed to be simply made of iron. She should’ve been able to break them even in this weakened state. Instead, another wave of draining sickness flooded her body.

She forced herself to ignore it as she kept attempting to break the bars. Her desperation to escape overruled her exhaustion. She could not remain here, no matter what toll it took on her in this moment.

Yet, she did no damage to the cage. Not even a mere crack in the bars had been created as she collapsed to her knees, with her energy gone.

She was reduced to kneeling with her head leaning on the bars, shaking as reality descended upon her. What hell had she been placed in?

“Oh, you’re awake,” Jordan’s voice came into her ears with a far too casual tone as he appeared in front of her. Anger bubbled from within her, spewing forth as she looked up to see him smiling as if they were in a regular conversation.

“That’s all you have to say, you bastard?!” She shot back to her feet, launching an arm out towards the god.

She wanted to grab him, to choke the life out of him, to make him suffer the feelings he was inflicting on her. She struggled fruitlessly, attempting to grasp any part of him to gain even the slightest amount of leverage over him. But he stood out of her reach as one would a violent caged animal.

She pulled her arm back, keeping her glare fixed on him. He had the nerve to look shocked.

“I’m just correcting the damage you’ve done to the balance. I didn’t expect you to awaken so quickly, but now that you have, I’m happy to discuss the learning experience I’ve set up for you,” He spoke, ignoring her glare. She never liked listening to him. That is why he had had to resort to this extreme method.

Still, it would be but a moment in their godly lives. A mere uncomfortable moment, and he would be able to inspire her to finally take the importance of her domain seriously.

“Learning experience?! That’s what you call poisoning me?! Stealing my heart, my domain! And using me as a damn battery!” She spat at him, again slamming her fists into the bars. This was nothing short of an act of war. Even imprisoning a champion or messenger like this would be an unthinkable act except for the most hideous crime.

Yet, here he stood casually acting as though he was doing her a favour. As if she was an unruly child that he was justified in putting in time out.

It was infuriating. At least if he was acting like a warmongering bastard then she could be satisfied with the knowledge that the others would quickly realise what had happened to her.

But he seemingly wasn’t going to be making moves against the others. He just wanted to control her.

How long would it take for any of them to notice her absence?

Red would notice, she reassured herself. Her brother would know that it wasn’t her granting fortune in such an extreme way. And he, in turn, would alert the others.

That should’ve been a comforting thought, but she could not bring it to actually be so.

“If you ever listened to me, I wouldn’t have had to do something so extreme,” He said sternly. He had given her more than enough chances to consider her impact on the balance. She had chosen her own whims and fancies time and time again. This was a necessary lesson. Though, he did know how it would look.

This could very easily turn to war if the others found her like this when she was still so angry. None of them understood what it was like to have their domain so dependent on the other gods. They had no idea the sort of damage her fickle interests did to him. “But now you are going to listen.”

“No! You can listen!” She snapped. So many times, she'd been forced to listen to him witter on about the harm she was apparently causing the balance. Never had he ever had an example of harm that she had actually caused, but he wanted her to listen?! He’d taken this situation far beyond the point of just talking. “There is nothing wrong with the balance of fortune! Red and I can feel it! It’s part of us! If it was unbalanced, you’d see the physical effects on us!”

She had no better point to make - there was no other point that she should have to make. It was the same for all the gods, their appearance changed based on the current strength of their domains.

Even when she and Red were in a wave of purposely skewing the balance, they made sure not to weaken the other significantly. She wouldn’t weaken her brother for simple fancies as Jordan was clearly implying.

And her words did cause the smallest amount of hesitation in the Lord of Balance. Admittedly, he could not say that he had noticed either of the siblings looking stronger or weaker than the other. It only stayed for a moment though. After all, he was sure that Capsize’s skin shone brighter than her brother’s.

Clearly, then, something was unbalanced.

She was still just looking to be difficult. He was better off leaving her until she worked her spite out of her system.

“I’ll be back when you’re calm enough to discuss things civilly.”

“No! Don’t you dare leave me here!” She again tried to grab him. The action was just as pointless as it had been previously, but her anger returned thoroughly as he disappeared.

When she got out of here, she would kill him. Damn the consequences, he deserved it.

But he would never let her free willingly. Not when he genuinely thought she posed a risk to the balance.

So, despite knowing how it would drain her, she again flung herself into breaking the bars. She would not be trapped and contained into having to agree with his insanity. She would escape and he would suffer for this.

Her attempts once again proved fruitless, though she did not stop even when exhaustion began tugging. Only when sleep forcefully took over did she finally stop, entering a restless slumber with her forehead pressed against the bars that held her.

⚖ ⚖ ⚖

The shattering awoke her.

The exhaustion, frustration, and anger that had been completely consuming her were vaporised in an instant, replaced by sheer panic. She shot to her feet.

Immediately, she attempted to break the bars again.

She knew that she was attempting an impossible task. If she had been unable to break them earlier when she was at relative strength, what chance did she have now? This cage had been designed just for her. Every thrash was draining. With her heart stolen, she stood no chance at all.

But none of that mattered.

Her thoughts were all consumed by a singular panic. Someone was killing her brother, and she needed to reach him no matter the cost.

It was as if another part of herself was being ruthlessly ripped away. Herself and Redbeard were as much one as they were separate, their domains linked just as they themselves were. Even with all that had been stripped from her, she had still been able to feel him. In her slumber she had felt him trying to nullify Jordan’s actions.

It had always been the two of them. It needed to be the two of them. Misfortune and fortune both needed the other to exist. She was simply not meant to exist without her brother.

But he was dying. Their bond was being haphazardly smashed apart as she could only thrash and scream, unable to reach him.

“Red please!” She begged as if anyone could hear her. As if, if she asked with enough desperation, that if she just kept trying to reach him, he might fight that tiniest bit harder to live. Maybe somehow if she gave every drop of energy she had left to this action, she would be able to break free and reach him.

Had this been any other moment of her life, that is how reality would’ve bent. But with her powers stolen away, fortune no longer acted in her favour.

Far away and out of her control, her connection with her brother shattered. In the same instant, a wave of misfortune billowed out across the lands. A coming terror that none could see but her.

Capsize completely collapsed. Her cries of anguish carried through the night, heard by none but the animals in the plains far below her, but felt by all that had ever been touched by fortune. A haunting wail carried through the night until her exhaustion caught up to her and she was forced once more into slumber.

It could’ve been weeks, days, or merely hours before she awoke again. Once more, Jordan stood before her. Drained and exhausted, she looked up at her captor unable to muster the bite he was rightly owed.

Instead, with quiet numbness, she made the only request she could that would stop the oncoming plague.

“You need to kill me.”

If she was gone, fortune too would be released. The forces would be up to the universe, likely unbalanced and wild, but without a vessel for misfortune, it was the closest she would be able to get to balance. Carrying on her existence with her brother gone would have no point besides pain.

Jordan looked down at her, not having processed her words. He had never seen the Lady of Fortune look so weak.

Her shine was completely gone, her freckles looking more akin to blackstone than gold. Her copper skin had weathered, great patches of it now covered in a blue rust. Even the gems that adorned her seemed somehow faded.

He looked down at her with a building dread. Despite how he was still attempting to deny it, all his thoughts were screaming that her condition was his fault. If even he could not deny it, what would the others think if they discovered her now?

It would look as though he had done everything with the worst of intentions. They would believe that he had wanted to imprison Capsize to merely steal her power. They wouldn’t see the nuance, the necessity. And they would almost certainly believe he killed Redbeard.

Everything had gone wrong all at once. He had to fix this somehow.

“Please. Kill me,” Capsize repeated. This time Jordan heard her, and the request only startled him more.

“No!” He said, horrified at the notion. He would not drop to the level of killing his fellow gods. Even if they had had their quarrels, he did not want to even consider a world where she was just gone.

Capsize did not manage to hold back her sobs. Did he truly want her to beg? Or did he just enjoy seeing her in pain?!

“I shouldn’t exist like this! Without Redbeard, I’ll be forever weakened, and fortune will never be balanced! There isn’t another choice… So please,” She was not above begging if that was what he wanted. There was no pride left in her. She would twist her request into words he would have the highest chance of listening to, make a request that would make him feel justified and heroic.

Anything to escape this grief.

“No,” Jordan said again. His tone was softer now, considering. “There has to be another way.”

He was sure that there would be another way to restore the balance of fortune without having to kill her.

Perhaps the universe was mocking him. After all, he had wished endlessly that Capsize would take the balance seriously. Now here she was willing to make an impossible choice for the sake of balance, but she was requesting something he certainly could not do.

Even though he knew she was correct. Without a vessel for misfortune, balance couldn’t be restored…

Without a vessel…

“I could combine your domains. Make you the singular deity of fortune and misfortune,” He said as the idea cemented in his head. It was perfect. Balance would be restored and Capsize could remain alive.

Capsize, however, was horrified.

“No! No, it’ll take too long! Everyone will suffer in misfortune for centuries! You’ll weaken too! Please, just—”

“It’s okay. Losing some of my strength is a fine enough sacrifice for my part in this,” He assured her, not realising that his words were anything but.

Capsize did not want to survive. She did not want to take her brother’s domain and continue living alone. But she was entirely at Jordan’s mercy. If he was decided on this, there would be no talking him out of it.

But that did not mean Capsize would surrender herself to this horrible plan. She may not be able to escape by force, but she could build up her strength over time.

She would have at least a century before Jordan would be able to do such a thing. That would be more than enough time to gain herself eyes and perhaps a voice outside this cage.

She would escape this imprisonment, avenge her brother, and then restore the balance of fortune. She was content to wait as long as it took. Just as her captor’s, her mind was set.

[help-itrappedmyself]

Guys... I started a Cat!Danny thing

Danny is walking in a park. It’s unfamiliar to him, but his surroundings are the least of his worries right now. Because he’s a cat. Currently. Wobbling around on four legs, incapable of human speech. He has a brief thought that he’s lucky he was able to de-transform enough that he wasn’t a ghost cat, wandering around in a park. 

     Still, he’s a cat right now with no idea how to not be a cat anymore. The fact that he doesn’t know where he is doesn’t bother him until he gets out of the park and realizes he wasn’t just in an unfamiliar park. He’s in an unfamiliar city. 

     He sits and tries to think. There are people walking by, probably about his age. All wearing uniforms that he doesn’t recognize, but he can read Gotham Academy from the insignia on them. 

     He can’t hear what happens next over the traffic and chatter of teenagers, but Danny sees some kid push over another and goes over to investigate. He has no clue what he’s going to be able to do as a cat, but he can’t just sit here and watch if they decide to get more physical. 

     Luckily, he can cross the street while a traffic guard halts traffic for the flow of people leaving the school. Nobody notices him as he goes underneath a bush to watch the bully. 

     They mostly argue. The bully is being mean, but other than pushing the other boy down, seems to leave it at a verbal confrontation. The other boy got up, and the bully took his bag and threw it to the ground, spilling school supplies everywhere. Two pencils and an eraser end up rolling next to where Danny was hiding under a bush. Danny’s fur bristled.     “You’re so lucky you even go here. If your dad wasn’t Bruce Wayne we never would have let you in the gates.”     The bully saunters off and leaves the boy alone to pick up all his stuff. Danny, wanting to help, bites the eraser and brings it over to the boy’s bag. The boy sees him and stills, Danny drops the eraser and walks back to the bush, this time coming back with one of the pencils. He repeats this for the last pencil and the boy still hasn’t moved. 

     Danny sits and tilts his head at the boy. He tilts his head in response. The boy seems sad. Not in his face, which is blank, or in his body, which is still tense from the earlier interaction. More like his energy is sad, he seems rather resigned to Danny.

     “Mrow.” Danny forgets he is incapable of intelligent speech at the moment. But his noise makes the boy smile a little. 

     Danny does it again, leaning down and pushing the pencil towards him at the same time, trying to tell him to pick it up. 

     “Thank you.” The boy says politely, reaching over very slowly to grab his things. He finishes packing up his back just as slowly. Then reaches his hand out towards Danny.

     Danny tenses, but the boy stops his hand before it can touch him, fingers down. Aw, the boy wants to be friends! Danny bumps the hand with his head saying, ‘we can be friends’, which translates to  a small “mrrp”. 

     He wouldn’t mind being friends with the boy while he’s here. The boy slowly drags his fingers across Danny’s head, and Danny lets him.

     Then Danny is being lifted, and he is not okay with that. He is small! Heights are much higher when you’re this small!

     ‘What are you doing?’ comes out as “Mrrr.” Danny growls lightly in frustration, letting his claws out enough to gain hold of the boys’ shirt. He doesn’t want to hurt him, but he doesn’t want to fall either.

     “Shhh, it is okay.” The boy murmurs to him.“I want to take you home, I’ll give you food and shelter.” 

     Danny, for lack of a better option, thinks this is actually a great way to gain food. He’s not sure how he feels about cat food though. Danny lets out one short purr in response and the boy smiles another little smile.

     “You have to be good.” He tells him. “And no one can know you’re there, so you will be transported in my backpack.”

      Danny feels less good about that, and squints at the boy. The boy shifts his hold to one hand and rearranges his backpack so that the books are in the section meant for a computer, with cushioning to theoretically block them from hitting Danny. All small items are moved into the other pocket, and two books are pulled out entirely. They are placed on the ground before the bag is brought in front of Danny. 

     Danny looks between the bag and the boy twice. He ends up looking at the boy, and moves his paw to the boys’ cheek. He purrs once in confirmation, then turns back to the bag and crawls in. He curls up at the bottom, and looks up as the boy zips it almost entirely shut, leaving a bit of space between the zippers at the top of the bag. He feels movement as the boy gets up and starts walking, but the boy is careful. Danny barely feels anything, just looking through the crack as the sky turns into the roof of a car.

     Well, he’s committed now. Danny takes a nap.

[jinxs-gf]

Black Cat!Reader x The Team Headcanons

Black Cat!Reader x The Team

note: just because you’re in place of Black Cat doesn’t mean this is fem!reader! this is very gender neutral besides the mention of lipstick briefly…even then that’s not lady exclusive :)

content/warnings: this is seemingly set during s1 like my other yj fics but I imagine everyone being way older 😔🙏🏽 it’s weird but just roll with it pretty please. also…a bit suggestive??

word count: 3.6k

a/n: I wouldn’t have done this but this anon gave me the idea and I HAD to expand on it unfortunately

THE TEAM (platonic)

Lots and lots of flirting from reader, OBVIOUSLY. do y’all even KNOW Black Cat????? it would be relentless. and no matter how annoying and probably overwhelming it got, you wouldn’t back down

with even the toughest/hardest to crack team members

it’s not even like you’re attempting to lure them in…or get romantically involved (unless…), it’s just how you are. who can blame you! flirting is fun

you started off as just another “villain of the day.” Someone they could take on easily. They thought of you as a pity mission. An bad guy as small as a simple thief? What fun was that?! They’ve taken down Gods, magicians, robots…and Red Tornado assigned them a thief??? It was a joke.

until it wasn’t. until Batman saw potential in you (because of course he did. Robin was not happy about this.)

You earned the nickname Cat, which was a nickname in itself for Kitty Cat (Wally's idea, not yours, you gave him hell for it)

your first mission with them was definitely something. messy, to say the least

it was weird, the whole mind link thing. you made jokez and flirted through the link as a way of coping because…well you felt out of place

everyone was so close with each other, not to mention they didn’t come from a background of “bad guy shenanigans”

you felt like an outcast for the longest time, until everyone was revealing vulnerable secrets with each other before a mission. you finally spoke your insecurities with your place on the team

you and Artemis had the same worries (more or less) and bonded over that

you finally were able to let loose and just…be yourself around them

you became soft

the flirting and teasing was still there, however it was saved for missions

you preferred to keep Black Cat’s reputation

individual relationships

ROBIN (romantic)

He was very much against the idea of you being on the team. Sure you weren’t a crazy villain that hurt people (maybe not physically…but you were definitely a heartbreaker, Robin concludes)

You were still a thief at the end of the day. A bad person. And he didn’t like that.

It was Batman’s idea—and usually Batman had great ideas. This was a very bad one. He hated every bit of it.

…until he got to know you better

Taking you down was easy. “Easiest job I’ve ever had,” Robin boasts.

You pout, “that’s not very nice.”

Ha. He knocked you down a peg. Good. You needed a little humbling-

“-How come you’re lying to me, Robin? I thought we had something.”

Uh oh. He absolutely hated when you used that sickeningly sweet voice on him.

Of course you didn’t believe his lie. Of course you could tell how difficult that mission really was.

It’s not apart of his proudest moments. He hesitated to stop you on the mission, completely caught off guard by your flirtatious behavior. I mean, who wouldn’t be?!

In a moment of weakness, he let you go. Awestruck by the kiss you left imprinted on his cheek. Something he got teased relentlessly for.

The rest of the team finished the job for him after that.

In the back of his mind he knows the only reason he didn’t like the idea of you being on the team was because he…knew it wouldn’t end well for him. He was sure to be on your long list of broken hearts (a list that was never confirmed to even exist)

It made sense in his mind…he was Robin. A bird. And you were a cat. A right recipe for disaster. You’d trap him in your greedy little claws and eat him alive.

Over time that perspective changed.

Robin hates to admit it, but he’s softer now. Softer around you. For you.

“I know who you are,” he says with that arrogant smirk.

“So why can’t I know who you are?”

“Only…really important and trustworthy people know. The only person who knows besides Batman is Wally. He’s my best friend.”

“Why doesn’t that include me?” you’re practically purring, rubbing a finger down his face, “am I not important enough to you?” You pout for show

He looks dejected, like he was having an internal battle with himself. And you could tell which part of him was losing.

Your fingers inch slowly towards his mask, ready to lift-

“Robin.” And the stupid, stupid monotone voice that belonged to Batman interrupted you.

You’ll get him back for that.

Robin was now being scolded, but he was having none of it.

“It was a moment of weakness.”

“It will not happen again. No more moments of weakness. You’re growing, your body is going through a lot of different things. Keep it in your pants-”

“Whoa old man! Whoa! That’s going too far. And what about Selina?! You’ve had many moments of weakness because of her. You can’t scold me for this one time.”

“It’s because of my experience with Catwoman that I know better. I’m trying to stop you from…getting hurt.”

Robin calls bullshit on that. What could you possibly do to hurt him? (Thoughts that completely contradict his first impressions of you)

The next time he sees you he’ll spill everything. He’ll let you know that he does trust you and that you do matter. That you’re important to him.

Just to spite Bruce. And maybe because he really likes you and wants you to know it.

It was his idea to bring you onto the team anyways…he’s just giving Bruce exactly what he wanted. A warm welcome to a new teammate.

WALLY (romantic)

Wally was so happy someone FINALLY reciprocated his advances. And especially with a catch like you? Black Cat?! He was over the moon.

At first.

It quickly came to be too much. He's been waiting, praying for someone to match his energy, but now that he's got it? He's not exactly sure how to handle it. He's gotten so used to being blown off, teased, and scolded for his flirting that it was weird when you flirted back.

He was of course the first to tease you when you officially joined the team. He gave your your nickname, Kitty Cat. You despised the name and him for the longest time.

Wally was annoying. Taunting you at all times. Calling to you as if you were an actual cat.

He'd click his tongue, "here kitty kitty."

And for that, your flirting was meaner towards him (compared to how you treated everyone else). Which is the exact reason why he couldn't handle the teasing from you. It wasn't the normal way Robin would, "oh yeah, Wally can't phase the way Flash does. Otherwise he gets a nosebleed. Right, loser?" Or the way Artemis would, "ugh, you flirt like a divorced 40 year old who's desperate for a rebound. Loser."

No, your teasing was quite different. You laughed cruelly, throwing your head back for show, "Come get it before it's gone, loser."

So. He was still a loser to you, but it seemed you actually liked that about him. Maybe.

Wally didn't like it as much as he thought he would. It ruined his cool guy facade (one that didn't exist, Robin would say). It was humbling, the way he suddenly tumbled over his words, face flushed red and all.

More than humbling. It was embarrassing.

You bring him down to the mat with a loud THUD. Much like the time Black Canary beat him during their first time training. Except you used your weight, tumbling on him (and straddling him in the process. Great).

Embarrassing embarrassing embarrassing.

The only person that was able to truly catch him was his best friend, Robin. And that's with years of experience with the speedster. You'd know him all of a few months and you're able to do it?!

"It won't happen again,” referring to his teasing of your name, naming you Kitty Cat and clicking his tongue at you.

“Or I’ll have to teach you a lesson. Much different from this one.” And you casually walk away.

Wally desperately wanted to get up, to humble you back. But he couldn't. He felt physically incapable of doing so.

You had really done it. You slowed down the (second) fastest man alive.

Wow.

"Wow. That was extremely painful to watch," of course Robin had something to say about it.

"Shut up man."

KALDUR (romantic)

It was "unprofessional," he said.

Unprofessional your ass. It was perfectly professional. A lot of people on the teams had partners within those same teams. Black Canary and Green Arrow, Superman and Wonder Woman (exes—but that still counts for something), Conner and M’gann acted like a couple and no one said anything! So what was the problem?

Well apparently there wasn’t a problem…seeing as this “relationship” was more welcomed—as in, Kaldur didn’t tell the Black Cat off when they made advances towards him. Besides when he called their behavior “unprofessional.” That was once. He didn’t say a word of it after that.

In fact, he allowed—dare anyone say encouraged it.

On missions you were attached to his hip. Even if he assigned you to be by Artemis’ side or assist Robin, you wouldn’t listen. And he didn’t say anything about it, instead informing the team to continue on with the plan.

His professional act as the team leader never faltered, not even you could break it down. He merely tolerated your flirting (his words, though you knew better. He loved it).

The team was each in their individual positions scoping out the area, ready to attack at a moments notice. Kaldur was squatted down and you decided it was the perfect opportunity to pounce on him (as you usually did). You wrapped your arms around his neck, now on his back.

“Does the team leader have time for some sweet talk?”

“I, we have a job to do, Cat. Focus.”

You hum, “What are we doing here again?”

He starts relaying the plan to you, you taking note of the way he doesn’t scold you (he repeated the plan to the team multiple times on the way over, he surely would’ve berated one of the other guys for not listening). You never had any intentions of listening, only wanting a chance to annoy him.

“Blah blah blah, is this your version of sweet talk?” You squish his face between your fingers and plant a kiss on his cheek.

He only sighs, “Later. After the mission is complete.”

For once, your find yourself surprised. He’s promising to reciprocate your advances?

This should be fun.

CONNER (romantic)

M'gann was more subtle with her flirting (not really, especially with the way she blushes), more timid and on the nose about her feelings. You? You got straight to the point. Kind of like how open Artemis was when she first joined the team. She had no shame letting the team know telepathically how attractive she thought Superboy was. Seriously, what was it with new recruits and taking an immediate liking to Conner? Why not the other three boys? What did he have that they didn't!

Although Artemis gave up on that crush at first sight almost immediately

You? Not so much. it was very noticeable that the Black Cat was adamant on cracking the boy of steel. it seemed like an impossible mission, but with a little determination and a couple sultry words? it was pretty damn easy

This is very much an enemies to lovers type relationship (kinda):

At the beginning, when you first met, he was open to new relationships. Getting to know people he could count on within the team, though that openness completely died down. Your flirting was nonstop. Even on missions! How was he supposed to concentrate on the task at hand when you found time to graze his arm or speak soft words to him?

You annoyed him, sosososo much it wasn't even funny. Even more than M'gann did. Both of you were insistent, that's for sure. But one was more bold than the other. He tried telling himself it was because he didn't like you: at least with M'gann he wanted a relationship to come from it (not necessarily romantic)

But with you...he hated you. No. He hated the way he reacted to your advances...he hated admitting to himself that your words affected him. That he felt something not so platonic for you. Damn you and your stupid flirting. It was surely going to be the death of him. And that's saying something: the clone of the man of steel actually breaking down? unheard of.

But you managed to do it. Unfortunately.

Conner finds himself thinking about you, more than he'd like. Another reason to dislike you. You take up his mind. Every waking moment and every dream. It's infuriating.

And now he was starting to worry about you during missions. He saw you get knocked down, away from the rest of the team. The fall looked nasty, and with the way you seem to lie there with no intention of getting back up, he's sure you've been knocked out

Conner tries to ignore the way his heart clenches at the sight, kind of like the way it does when concerning you in different context

It gives him the courage to voice his worries, he calls out to you, and as expected: he gets no response

The enemy leans down to your level, ready to do more damage. Conner is quickly snapped out of his daze and starts running over to you

Until he abruptly stops. Because you open your eyes to wink at him, jump up, and take the enemy down with ease.

It's right then that he takes back every thought of admitting he doesn't hate you. Because the stupid smirk you're sending his way reminds him of every reason why he dislikes you.

Everyone is home or in their respective rooms already, leaving you and him. You're behind him, massaging his shoulders gently (your touch wouldn't have persisted if he showed any signs of discomfort, he leaned into it in fact, allowing you to continue)

You bring your head down, cheek to his,

"Oh come on. You can lie to everyone and yourself. But you can't lie to me. I know you were worried back there. Just admit it, Loverboy."

He can only roll his eyes. And blushed. You were never going to live this down.

"I wasn't. Now leave me alone." If only his actions were as convincing as his stern words. Words that would've scared off the likes of M'gann had she been in your position. But you knew better, knew that his shaking hands and quickly warming face meant that his words had no meaning.

Your hand dragged from his shoulder to his chest, right over his heart. Yeah, his words were meaningless with the way his heart was beating for you.

Conner was finally warming up to you and you had him right where you wanted him.

And so you let go. "Whatever you say, Loverboy," and with a kiss to his pink cheek, you leave him alone to ponder his complicated feelings.

Feelings that were in fact not complicated at all. Because Conner was finally, finally ready to admit to himself and to you that he wanted you. So badly.

If only you hadn't pulled away so quickly, he couldn't reciprocated the kiss or two...it would've been an easier, showing you how he feels instead of saying it out loud.

He'll kiss you next time.

M’GANN (romantic)

The Martian can't hide her liking towards you for the life of her. She could’ve even if she tried.

It was near painful, you pitied her. You almost felt bad and stopped teasing her. Almost.

It was fun though, how could you stop?

M’gann would actively seek out your approval and attention when you joined the team. It was only natural, she did it with the rest of the members, so you were no exception.

Besides, the only teammate she was kind of close with was Artemis. Was it sooo wrong of her to want to get close to you?!

Nope! Though she does wish you weren’t so…forward sometimes. Not that it’s unwelcomed, she’s just unsure of how to act because of it. Is she supposed to reciprocate? M’gann has never seen nor experienced such a dynamic on Mars, much less on Earth. So she awkwardly blushes and smiles.

Eventually she gets used to it. And gets very much into it. She won’t vocalize her feelings, instead she’ll mind link and talk that way. Often times it’s easier to communicate through touch. Which says a lot, M’gann would rather use touch?? Not the mind link?? Which was the main source of communication on Mars? Whoa.

It was mainly because…she didn’t want to reveal all her feelings to you. She’s usually able to control what goes through the mind link, having done it since childhood, but you’ve made her mind a complete mess. She all but short circuits when you’re around.

Can anyone blame her?

"You know what I'm thinking?"

"No."

"Well you can read me, can't you Martian girl?"

She giggles at herself, how could she forget? "Hello Megan!"

Her smile turns timid once she reads your mind.

"Oh."

ARTEMIS (romantic)

It was honestly unfair how fast the blonde caught your attention. Her voice. Her stupid raspy voice.

Unfortunately for you, Artemis wasn’t exactly buddy-buddy with you at first. Well, she wasn’t really with any of her teammates. But with time she’s learned to get along with everyone.

“I just wanna get to know you, Blondie. What’s wrong with that?” You asked in the sweetest voice you could muster up, one that usually made everyone fall.

Yet she rolls her eyes.

So that’s how it’s gonna be, huh? Fine.

It was right after a mission, everyone was surrounding Red Tornado, relaying the events to your mentor.

“You know we could’ve took that guy down way faster had you not been on Robin the whole time.”

“Jealous Blondie?

“Stop calling me Blondie!”

You had sleepovers, movie nights, and other hang out outside of missions. With or without the rest of the team. They were fun, the first time you were alone with her is what really got her to warm up to you.

“Ugh! Of course literally everyone else canceled but Cat.” She really seemed to hate you.

You were outside her window, watching as Artemis complained to no one but herself. She once offhandedly commented on how her place was off limits for hangouts (refusing to explain why, which was okay with the team).

You were definitely crossing a boundary doing this, but she seemed upset in the group chat. You couldn’t just leave her by herself.

And then…the Sportsmaster walks in her room. One of the team’s enigmas. A thorn in their side. What the hell?

He does nothing but berate her for not “joining them.” Joining who? Then proceeds to say he’d be happier if she ever thinks to change her mind

“I’m never going to be apart of your messed up team, dad.”

Oh.

And then he’s just…gone.

You’re stunned, and only then does she finally notice you. She ushers you into her room, now berating you for your actions and spying and breaking her boundaries and…

“Your secret is safe with me, babe.” It was meant to be a term of endearment to reassure her,

Friends called each other babe, right?

“Babe?”

“You’d rather be called Blondie?”

She rolls her eyes, “whatever.” And as annoyed as she wanted to seem, she smiled and hugged you gratefully.

It was the only time you allowed yourself to be any kind of vulnerable around her. Or any of the team for that matter.

Once she got over her high horse, it was a very reluctant friendship turned…something more? That’s to be determined. But with the way she now flirts back? You’d say that was a good sign.

“Hey Blondie.”

“You calling me Blondie is the equivalent of Wally calling you Kitty Cat. Maybe I’ll have to teach you a lesson this time around.”

“I like the way you think, babe.” (You say not so platonically this time)

ROY (romantic)

You were on him as soon as he rejoined the team. How could you not be? He was even grumpier than Conner was when he joined, making him extra fun to mess with.

You had no chill when flirting with him, he decided immediately that was annoyed with you. And did not want to be friends.

Because his actual friends brought him joy, they made him laugh and they listened to him when he had bad days. You? You made a bad first impression, therefore he refused give you the chance to do any of those things.

Often telling you to buzz off and if you didn’t he’d “choke you with a hair ball.” Kinky, you replied.

He hated it.

Until you found out about his girl, his other Cat. Cheshire. That’s when things changed. You were less…on him.

"Me and her were never a thing!"

"Getting defensive there. Afraid I'll get jealous?"

"I could care less about your feelings."

“Oh really? Is that right?”

His eye twitched. He couldn’t believe he was trying to…reassure you? Was that what he was doing?

He was trying to make sure you knew he wasn’t with Cheshire. That her feelings were one sided. It’s something he shouldn’t be doing, he tells himself. In fact, he should be doing the opposite. Tell you that she means something to him, or maybe stay quiet and insinuate that they had something going on.

To get you off his back.

You seemed to back off completely when you found out Cheshire flirted with him often on missions when the goal was to take her down. Much like how the team’s predicament when they first met you.

It made you…upset?

And for some reason that made him upset.

“So you’re my Roy Toy? Mine completely?” Wally and Robin had originally griped about the nickname until it eventually made them laugh. They came to appreciate it.

“I’m no one’s. Not yours, not Cheshire’s, not the Justice League’s nor the team’s.”

“You will be mine one day, Speedy. And you’ll love it.”

Roy doesn’t respond but he feels like…there is some truth to your playful statement.

Maybe one day.

bonus:

THE TEAM

They all slowly turn towards you.

"...you've kissed all of us?"

You only shrug, “wasn’t that obvious?”

you can tell I got lazy lmaooo

I hate how I formatted this omg

[moonyflesh]

dating Logan Howlett would include…

WARNINGS: smutty. p in v, oral sex, fingering, breeding kink, orgasm teasing/control, mentions of aggressive/risky sex, (language, obviously), etc. - [🔞]

CHARACTERS: James “Logan” Howlett (MARVEL/X-MEN/WOLVERINE)

🐾 .*.. 🩹

- possessive smacks on the ass when you pass him in the hall.

- all talk, but no bite (he would never actually hurt you).

- routine scalp massages (on both ends), usually ending in you both being passed out on the other’s bed.

- having to label what food is yours, or he will eat it.

- constantly scolding him for his chapped lips…where he continuously looses the chapsticks you graciously lend him (he always buys you more).

- playful banter that usually ends with you bent over whatever flat surface is nearby.

- having to get used to loud chewing. i mean, it’s Logan. what do you expect?

- not much physical show of affection in public- that’s reserved for behind closed doors. (an occasional press of his lips to your forehead, or his hand on the small of your back is as far as he’s willing to put on display for the student’s prying eyes).

- thriving off of each other’s warmth at night- tangled up in each other under some thin duvet.

- country, bluegrass, and old as fuck music. don’t you dare even think about turning on “that shitty music you like so much” around him.

- being turned on by your makeup on him in some way— lipstick prints smeared along the collar of his white t-shirt- your mascara running down your face and smearing onto his fingers when he wipes it off.

- (^) just you making an absolute mess on him in general. he fucking loves it.

- needing to take sharp intakes of breath in between his kisses, since he physically can hold his breath for much longer than the “average mutant”.

- rough, meaningful sex. there is no such thing as a ‘quickie’ in his book. he wants to savor your moments of vulnerability.

- more teeth than tongue. he wants to feel how you squirm under him when his canines sink into your lips, shoulders, and inner thighs.

- (^) lovebites and hickeys. you’re not allowed to leave the house unless there’s something that’s marking you as taken. as his.

- wearing his clothes when he’s gone for long periods of time.

- long motorcycle rides, usually at night. (he makes you wear a helmet and plenty of protective leather, much to his enjoyment).

- soaking in your scent. he always knows when your needy. he can smell it on you.

- oh, and he smells like cedar wood and pine. Maybe a bit of cigar smoke- his natural sweat smell he can’t seem to get rid of? Something Iike that.

- (^) him going absolutely feral when he can smell himself on you- his cologne, cigars- just his general aura on you is such a massive turn on for him.

- lots of loving nips and kisses, though. constantly has his lips pressed against the nape of your neck or crown of your skull.

- sleeps with you in his arms. no way in hell you’re allowed to wake up before him.

- face sitting. he wants every pound of you on his mouth and nose, his arms wrapped up and around your thighs, pushing your cunt into his tongue.

- wanting to feel good too. no matter how hard he’s been going down on you, he wants release, too.

- praise. lots of shrewd language and name-calling.

><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

“fuck, that’s my good fucking girl- you’re doing so good, sweetheart- so pretty all sweaty and wet cuzzah’ me, huh?”

><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

- face fucking. he’ll stop no matter how close he is to his peak if you need him to, but he wants it so far down your throat. and you better swallow every last drop.

- breeding kink? idk i just feel like he’s super into seeing you carry his kid (only when you’re ready, though. he of all people knows what a big deal pregnancy is).

- decent aftercare. he at least puts some amount of effort into it; probably brings you a glass of lukewarm water, a damp towel from his bathroom, maybe one of his t-shirts if he thinks of it.

- expect to wait a while for him to say “i love you” back. he’s been hurt. too many times. he loves you, he breathes you, he craves you. he just doesn’t know if he’s ready to actually admit that to himself yet, let alone to you.

[kittydoremi]

Commissioned some more sketches from @smallpwbbles from my Sonic's Adventures in Wonderland fanfiction/au!

This time the sketches are from chapters 6, 7 and 8: The Rabbit Sends In a Little Bill, Advice From a Hedgehog, and The Cheshire Cat.

Featuring Sonic as Alice, Tails as the White Rabbit Shadow as the Caterpillar, Espio as Pat the Gardener, Blaze as the Cheshire Cat, and Jet as the Serpent Bird 🤭

I love how these sketches turned out so much 🥺💖

Check out the fanfic here 🦔💙