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probablysimpledreams · 6 months

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You're All I Desire

(Dazai x reader: NSFW)

a/n: omfg it has been a moment since I've written a full fic but here I am !!! the idea for this one has been on my mind ALL DAMN DAY bc the Dazai brainrot has been so real lately my man <3 my man <3 my mannnnn <333 so enjoy some smut xoxo

cw: mention of masturbation (reader getting off by thinking of Dazai & Dazai getting off by thinking of reader), use of clit vibrator, gender neutral reader however reader does have female parts, Dazai refers to reader as "Bella" aka his famous Belladonna petname, Dazai eating reader out, thigh hickeys

word count: a tad over 1.6k

You mentally curse yourself as you pull up to your apartment complex, putting the car in park. After turning off the car, you and Dazai begin heading up into your apartment. Of course of all the days in the world, the day you're assigned to help Dazai with a case is the day you leave all the documents you needed to give him at home. It already took you an entire week to convince Kunikida to let you take them home so you could continue work later into the night with the comfort of your own TV and snacks right at your fingertips. If only you had woken up ten or twenty minutes earlier, then you wouldn't have been rushing out the door this morning.

"Okay they should be-," your eyes widen at the disastrous sight that was awaiting you behind the door. "FUCK ME!" you exclaim as you throw your shoes at the entranceway, Dazai's faint laugher in the background as he follows your lead. "I promise it's usually this bad," you sigh as you turn to Dazai, turning back to the mess of an apartment in front of you. This week you promised to cat sit for your friend, assuring them the cat would feel right at home in your apartment. What your friend failed to mention was their cat's love for wrecking havoc in new places.

"It's cute~" Dazai chuckles as he looks around your messy yet cozy apartment. "You have a good eye for decor," he mentions as he begins walking around the living room, giving himself a self guided tour. You smile at his compliment, trying not to show how nervous having him in your apartment makes you.

It was pretty obvious to everyone at the office that you had a little crush on Dazai. I mean, how could you not? Not only was he beautiful, but he was funny and smart and so much deeper than the persona he puts on for the world. Something deep inside wants to unravel these layers he hides himself under, both literally with bandages and emotionally with his charming nature.

You only allowed yourself to fantasize so much about him though since you were unsure what he felt about you. Sure he flirted with you almost daily, but at what point is that Dazai just simply being Dazai? You always allowed yourself to indulge in his flirting advances, but never forgot that it was just a workplace crush.

"Shit and they were right here," you sigh, palm of your hand hitting your forehead in frustration as you stand in front of your desk. Dazai looked over your shoulder, scanning the desk covered in old papers, a random book, pictures of you and your friends, and random trinket. A small smile forms on his lips as he studies these items, imaging you sitting here at night hard at work. The thought made his heart skip a beat. You were too cute for your own good.

"Time to get searching then!" Dazai exclaims, a little too excited for your liking. However, he was right as these documents needed to be found as soon as possible. You began looking around the desk as Dazai trailed off to other rooms. Too focused on finding these documents and keeping your job, you didn't may much attention to him doing as he pleased. Dazai smiled and hummed to himself as he peaked into your bedroom, admiring how your personality was so clearly visible through your decor. He couldn't help himself as he began scanning your book shelf before moving to your bed, poking the random plushies threatening to fall off your bed. He then finds his way to your nightstand, chuckling at the random assortment of things you sleep by. After scanning the small table, he raises an eyebrow at the halfway opened top drawer. Curiosity getting the better of him, he opens the drawer fully. Oh and is he happy he did.

"Phew okay Dazai I found the papers! We should get going or else-," your jaw almost dropped as you stared at the sight in front of you. Never in a million years did you image you would walk into your bedroom to find Dazai sitting on your bed, twirling your vibrator lazily in his hand. "Put that away. We're leaving."

"But I didn't get a chance to play with my new toy," he pouts.

"Dazai, I'm being serious." You try not to show how embarrassed you are, knowing it will only fuel his flames.

"So I am," he smirks as you walk towards him, trying to take the vibrator from his hands. "Tell me Bella~ Tell me all the fantasies you have of me when playing with yourself~" he teased, waving the wand around. You go silent at his taunt, face feeling flushed as you try to get words out. I mean of course you can't help yourself some nights, allowing yourself to get fully lost in the idea of Dazai touching you, pleasuring you. His name leaving your mouth in a muffled whimper as you finally find release. But he didn't know this, right? Because that would be weird. You wanted to yell at him for even thinking such nasty things, but your face gave the truth away.

Dazai's heart nearly stopped beating as he watched you fight yourself at his taunts. You usually never get this worked up over him, that's when he realizes: you actually do get off to him. His head almost exploded at the thought of you alone in your room, desiring him and only him. He was only half way kidding when he made this comment to you, not realizing you felt as much for him as he did you. He's had a full blown crush on you since you began working for the agency, but never expected his advances to go anywhere. He also was guilty of getting himself off to thoughts of you, letting desire run rapidly through his veins most nights. However, he wrote it off as another sin he will one day have to answer for. He would have never expected you to commit the same sin. The idea drove him crazy. Without thinking, he pulled you by your shirt into a sloppy kiss.

Your eyes widen as he pulls you in suddenly, but it doesn't take long for you to melt into the kiss. He helped you get seated on his lap, your body slowly grinding against his as the kiss deepened. You wrapped your arms around his neck, hands tugging at his hair as you two continued making out on your bed, like two horny teenagers. The last thing on either your or Dazai's mind was getting back to the office as you felt a familiar wetness between your legs, and Dazai's hardening cock. The two of you pull away from each other's lips, a smile on his face as you pant.

"You're easy to get worked up~" he teased, making you roll your eyes and chuckle. Even in a heated moment he was too much, and you loved him for. "Here, let me help you." He shifts where he is sitting, lowering you onto your back. Once you're comfortably laying on your back, he slides your pants and underwear off so he can begin softly kissing your thighs. You whine as his lips leave soft, teasing kisses along your flesh.

"A-aah," you shut your eyes as he bites down on your inner thigh, sucking on the skin until a dark mark is formed. He chuckles before tracing the area with his tongue, leaving more soft kisses along this sensitive area of your body. "D-Dazai....please.....please touch me," you whine, becoming impatient as he repeats this process along your other thigh.

"How could I ever say no to you, ______~" he smiled as he turned the vibrator on, immediately finding the highest setting. You scream out as the toy made contact with your clit, an amused smile spreading across Dazai's face. He began moving the wand up and down, eyes glued to the way your body trembled as the vibrations shot through your body. Your hands began gripping the sheets as you quietly moaned out his name.

"That won't do," he sighed before applying more pressure to how he was holding the wand, increasing the vibrations on your clit.

"D-DAZAI!" you exclaim.

"Much better~" he teases as he continues playing with you, practically drooling at the sight of you. You're so close to coming, and Dazai can tell. You whine as he suddenly pulls the toy away from you, head shooting up to look at him and see what on earth he thinks he's doing.

"Dazai what the f-OH FUCK," you throw your head back as his mouth makes contact with your swollen clit. You moan as his tongue swirls around, his hands gripping your thighs to keep your legs wide open. You scream a mix of curses and his name as your legs shake, Dazai's face becoming slick with your juices. It doesn't take too long until you reach your climax, pulling at his hair as your thighs practically suffocate him. Dazai doesn't slow down, making your eyes roll back in pleasure as you ride out your high. Your legs continue to shake as you try to steady your breathing, watching as he sits up to wipe his face, massive grin shining on his face.

You smile up at him, starting to sit up yourself. "We should probably actually start hea-," you're cut off by him pushing you back down on the bed with one hand as his other hand begins undoing his belt.

"Oh, Bella," he smirks, "we're only getting started~"

#bsd dazai #dazai osamu #bungou stray dogs dazai #dazai x reader #dazai x you #dazai x y/n #dazai smut #bsd x reader #bsd fanfic #bsd #bungo stray dogs #bungo stray dogs x reader #bungou stray dogs #bsd smut #bungo stray dogs smut

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madamechrissy · 2 months

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♡ Time after Time ♡

♡ ♡ Pairings ♡ ♡ CEO! Satoru Gojo x Fem Reader

♡ ♡ Warnings ♡ ♡ MDNI- Cunnilingus, explicit sex, choking, cumming, dirty talk, edging, overstimulation

♡ ♡ Word Count ♡ ♡ 3,772

♡ ♡ Summary ♡ ♡ Gojo Satoru is your boss And you've been his head assistant for over two years now. You do everything for him, including and not limited to cleaning his messes, picking out his clothes, and writing his speeches. Sixteen hour days... night calls... You are tired of being overworked and at his beck and call. You decide you are going to put in your two weeks notice. He is shocked, and wants to try to keep you, because you're the best. But you know better. Right? . You really wanna fucking quit. You also wanna fuck him. Also, fuck him.

Chapter 6 Masterlist

Chapter 7

Gojo leaned up, stretching like a cat, reaching over for you, but you weren’t there, just the spot you were in was warm and the blanket bunched up. For some reason it made him a little upset, he didn’t want to think of why exactly, but he enjoyed cuddling with you far too much.

Sighing, he sits up, hearing you faintly singing some Japanese song and positively butchering it. He smirks, standing, feet on your fuzzy pink rug next to your bed, his eyes going to the little picture of you two that was on the dresser still. The one with your pretty smile. He caressed it just a bit, and headed out towards your kitchen, finding you there.

You were swaying those tantalizing hips in time with whatever beat was in your earbuds, ass looking tempting in your boy shorts you had slept in. You were stirring something in a bowl, in your own little happy world, and Gojo thought to himself… that he could get used to this. To sleep next to you at night, to you making breakfast, how did he let himself get in the way so long he wondered, pushing this down.

You’d intimidated the shit out of him, you literally were perfect at everything, and he was always just trying to live up to shit put on him. You worked hard, so hard, and he had fallen into it, took advantage of all you could do, come to rely upon you for every little thing. A lot of it was simply the fact that he loved being around you, and found dumb fucking ways to get it.

For what though? And at what cost to you… now you were thinking of leaving, and it made him feel an odd emptiness thinking about not seeing you anymore. Even if you didn’t work for him, Gojo didn’t want to not be around you, for your very being was consuming him, in ways he couldn’t just let you know, in his dreams… at work… now.

You peeked over your shoulder, smiling shyly, a little faint blush that frequented your cheeks around him. You put the spatula down, popping out the ear buds, turning your body to him, breasts swaying gently in the thin silky night shirt, your nipples poking out for attention.

“ Waffles?” You ask, and Gojo just stares at you, those intense blue eyes boring into you in that way that touches you. You grow nervous as he does not speak, simply standing there tall in your kitchen, shirtless, making things ache that had been bothering you all night. “I can do something else if you want!”

He shook his head, seriously, coming to you and pressing you against the counter, entrapping you with his long arms, bringing you against his chest. You felt yourself reacting to it, trembling, a catch in your breath. Your hands went to his bare chest, hard and strong against you, and so warm. They just rest rather than push him away, for you know you don’t want to.

“Aren’t you hungry?” You ask softly, peeking up at him.

“Starving.”

His voice was husky, darker than usual, and before you knew it you were sitting on the counter, and he was easing your shorts down off your legs. You try to cover your tummy just a bit with your shirt, at the angle it was all squished, but he took your hands out of the way, shaking his head. You let them fall to his shoulders, his strong hands slid your hips forward.

“Gojo…” You whispered, and he got on his knees, so goddamn tall his head was now at perfect angle with your pussy, already getting slick from him just near you. He slid your legs over his shoulders, looking up to you, silky white hair all wild from his sleep, making him look even more attractive.

“You want it?” He asked, kissing your thigh. You nod fervently, one of your hands in his hair, gripping slightly, making him moan.

“Of course I want you.” Your own voice was cracking, and you two froze, him on his knees as if he would worship you, and you were speaking things in a way that you knew he realized what you meant. Then his tongue slid out, and he was tasting you, sliding up to your clit. “Oh, fuck…”

He flicked his tongue on you so fast it was hard not to come right there, in just a few licks, embarrassingly, before easing up, licking lower, to your entrance. You cried out in pleasure as shockwaves hit you where his tongue entered, fucking you, his hands spreading your thighs wider. How must you look, on your counter, with Gojo kneeling between your thighs?

You fucking loved the thought.

You were so tired of acting like you didn’t want this man, didn’t need this man, and everything about him. It was things you couldn’t comprehend, shit that made no sense at all anymore. Your desire for him made you rock your hips, shoving his face against you as he hit just that spot, making you start to fall apart. He moaned, letting you fuck his face until you found your release.

You started shattering, blinded by how fucking good the vibrations of his moans felt against your sensitive pussy, and you were coming. Your hot wet liquid was seeping out against him as you eased grinding on his face, and he pulled back, sucking in a breath, hair still wrapped in your hand. He was covered in your wetness, those eyes showing how much he wanted it.

“Fuck, fuck fuck.” You hissed as just his breathing made you twitch. “Satoru … please.”

“Another?” He went back down with a smirk, but you halted him, shaking your head and trying to yank him up. He stood, between your thighs, head dipped low so that his lips were on yours. “Please what, little brat?”

“Fuck me, Satoru. Please.” You had no more shame, it was just instinct, as you shivered, pressing against his waist, wrapping your arms up around his neck. His eyes went wide, and he searched your face.

“You’re begging me? Without me making you?” He laughed a bit, and you kind of wanted to smack him, but moreso you wanted him.

“Yeah.” You whispered, and his brows drew together. He caressed your face so gently, thumb along your lower lip. “I need you inside me. Please.” You ran a hand down him, finding him hard and thick. He paused you, grabbing your wrist, forehead pressing against yours.

“You sure?” He asked softly. You nodded, inhaling shakily.

“I need you. I can’t take it. This is not enough.” You were thoughtlessly grinding on him, as if some base instinct took over, just gazing into his eyes, hands now cupping his face, kissing him softly. “Please fuck me. Please.”

“Godammit.” He groaned, and then lifted you, slamming you into the kitchen wall, pressing hard against you as he yanked down your little top, kissing and biting and licking your nipple, sucking it into his mouth, as the other hand held you so tight. You lost yourself in his caresses, head falling to the side for him to kiss.

You cried out when he bit you, hard, hands digging into his shoulders, nails leaving crescent moons in his perfect skin. “Mnh.”

He picked you up from the wall, then, carrying you into your room as you just held on, falling on top of you on your bed. You leaned up to yank off your shirt, kissing down his neck, his hand tight in your hair. “I want you so...”

He shoved you down then, cutting his own words off, your lips melted together, tongues knowing exactly what to do, as you felt Gojo hot and hard against your entrance. You arched against the hot skin, shamelessly, until he shoved your hips down, holding them hostage. “Please, please, please.”

“So wet for me, are you?” You nodded, and gasped when he rubbed the tip of himself between your lips. “Only me?”

“Only you, only you.” You watched the look of surprise mix with desire on his gorgeous face. You smiled a bit, tremulously, kissing him for a moment. “Yes I only want you, fucking dick.”

“Watch that mouth, brat. Should I teach you a lesson?” He demanded, and the thought fucking thrilled you, so you smirk right back at him. He grins, deviously, and then he’s out of your reach, back between your legs, licking you again.

“No! Gojo… I want your dick, ugh! Tongue… fuck that’s nice…but no...” He started bringing you to a peak so fast it was mortifying, and he grinned, sliding a finger in you. “Gojo, not the fingers. Your dick.”

He laughed at you, softly, making you scowl, pumping you full of his long fingers, hitting your spot and making you come again. He kissed your tummy. “So cock thirsty, are you, little slut?”

“Yes I am. Ugh! No fingers. Stop.” You yanked at his wrist when he slid another one in you, and looked directly at him as you sucked your wetness off them, watching his eyes go heavy, mouth part with desire.

His hand trembled, and you yanked him back up, tears in your eyes when his fingers found your oversensitive clit again.

“Please. Gojo…” You clung to him, and he watched you, just out of reach, grinning then. “Fucking… fine! Don’t fuck me then! Ugh!” You were shoving at his chest, and he kept making you ache, teasing you, until you felt yourself lose it.

“Are you crying ?” He demanded in a silky voice, a taunt, like a dick, like Gojo. You shook your head, but he eased off your aching clit, caressing your cheek, a salty tear falling down it to your lips. “Aww, you’re so pretty when you cry for me.” He kissed you, and you kept crying, so frustrated, so lost in what he did, wanting more.

“You ask me to beg you, you freaking jerk, and then when I finally do, you just fucking- ah!” Gojo thrust into you suddenly, hands on your thighs, so much pressure, burning, stretching you out. You struggle to breathe, to get a grip on reality, as he pauses over you, brows together, teeth gritted. His arms shake slightly as he looms over you, pressing further, making you scream.

“Is that what you wanted, fucking brat?” He demanded softly, as you struggled to adjust to his size. You nodded, gasping for air, as you tried to relax when he pressed further in. The pressure was so much.

“I… mnh… I…”

“Cat got your tongue, baby girl?" He whispered, then pulled back, sliding his cock nearly out, making you grit your teeth, before shoving in further than before. It was so fucking deep, you wriggled under him, struggling to keep ahold of anything, clinging to his strong shoulers.

“Mnh… Gojo… you… so big I…”

He smirked, kissing you sweetly, shoving his cock deep in your aching cunt, and it was too much of a contradiction. Gojo was a contradiction and so were you. Tears fell in some mix of pleasure and pain as his cock stretched you beyond your means. Achingly slow, just a bit at a time, in and out, his hips rolling. You were both moaning, strong hands gripping your hips so hard they’d bruise. You blinked, then sucked in your breath when he went even further inside.

“You okay?” He whispered, sincere, holding his weight off you. You nodded, shifting your hips a bit, making him moan. “So fucking tight, it’s ridiculous. I can play more?”

“I want it. I can do it.” He chuckled at you, and his hand slid down to your clit, making you squirm, playing it in gentle circles as he eased back. You hissed in pain.

“So stubborn. Focus on this for a few.” He said gently, and you nodded, letting your eyes close as you felt his sure fingers playing you, you loosened some as he eased back in, then out, then in, and soon it started feeling indescribable. So fucking good.

“Satoru!” You cried out his name, and he eased his finger off you, lifting a thigh over his arm, sliding so deep inside you could feel him against your cervix, making you nearly scream as you felt pleasure wave over you.

“Ready for this now?” He asked, again, and you nodded, heavy breathing as he slid back out. “Can you take all of me like a good girl?”

You nod. You’d say or do anything for it. “Yes, yes, I’ll do my best.”

He laughed softly, tenderness in his eyes, before it shifted to something serious, devious. “Hang on to me.”

You did so, and before you could ask why he shoved himself hard into your cunt, and you throb around him as he hit so deep you could barely function, starting to fuck you now. He was watching your every expression as he started bringing you to another orgasm, but so different from the others, the pressure and rhythm of him hitting every spot too much.

“Cumming already? So easy for me?” He teased you, but you just lost it, everything falling apart but him inside you, his eyes, his lips, that fucking cock so deep. He drank in your cries with his full lips, fucking you even slower, but hitting so goddamn hard, the smacks against your pelvis were loud in your little room, the wetness around him obscene.

You couldn’t find any words, eyes rolling back, chest arched, when his dick slammed you over and over, bringing you to another set of tears as you came again, pulsing, so wet you were slippery around the thickness in you.

“Goddammit you feel so fucking good.” He groaned the words, and then his strokes were faster, his kisses sloppier, just tongues and saliva, drinking each other’s moans.

“You. So good in me. Satoru… so … ah… mnh…” He fucked you harder, hurting in the most delicious way you could think, a hand sliding up to caress your throat, so big it neatly fit around you like a choker, bracing his weight on one arm as he fucked you senseless.

“So pretty cumming around my cock.” He whispered, and his hand just sat there, like waiting for permission to choke you. You pushed it further, nodding, as he leaned further into you, hitting your cervix with each intense thrust, eyes raking you in, touching you like his fingers, like his lips, you lost yourself more and more. "You want it?”

“Yes. Yes please.” He squeezed lightly, fucking the shit out of you now, and you had no clue how you even took him, ripping you apart and putting you back together with each stroke. Now his big hand was squeezing your throat, and things grew fuzzy, the hint of losing your breath as Gojo fucked you on top.

“If it’s too… mmm… too much, tap my wrist.” He eased up for a moment, and you nod, and then he’s fucking into you, choking you. Satoru Gojo is everything around you, all your senses are just him.

Your ears ring slightly, and you watch him, beautiful on top of you, hard thick cock railing you, your legs up high, and your throat is being squeezed just perfectly. You lose it, gripping his strong wrist as you come, struggling for oxygen, making you pulse around him, wetter than ever, your entire body reacting. He eases the hold and you gasp, fuzzy vision clearing up.

“You're beautiful, little goddamn brat.” He was kissing you, then, and his thrusts slowed, his hands were clutching you tight, and his eyes pulled back to watch you, his breathing halting here and there. He made you feel so beautiful, so fucking special like some goddess. You felt yourself intoxicated by it.

“You... I...” You wanted to say even more. Things that you couldn’t. You tried to bite back the words but you grew emotional.

He moaned, a little breathy one, his forehead on yours for a moment, clinging to you as he thrust slower and slower, hitting spots that brought you on the brink again. “I want to come in you. So fucking bad.”

You would’ve done anything for it. He was slowing, grabbing onto you, inhaling your scent, kissing your throat. You ached for him, for him to lose it in you, as you lost it with him. "Come in me, then.”

His gaze shot up, and it was wide eyed, before narrowing, exhaling, fucking fast all over again, eyes going wide and bright. His jaw tensed, as if he pulled himself together. “You want my come in you, little greedy bitch?”

“Yes I fucking want it.” You arched your hips up, rolling them, sliding him in so deep, and he gasped, losing his rhythm. “I want all of it.”

“Beg for it.” He gritted his teeth, slamming so hard against you, filling you up too full, too much inside of you.

“Already asked, fucking conceited…. dick … unh!”

“Beg. For. It. For me to come in this little fucking pussy. Fill you up.”

You were so close, but he stopped, and you growled, making him kiss you, unmoving, driving you fucking nuts. “Please come in me, Satoru, please.” You wanted it, something you’d never even done, wanted it so bad.

He started thrusting into you, so hard, raising your legs over his elbows, and you fell apart for a final time, this time so intense you struggled to keep your eyes open. Your lashes flutter shut. “Look at me.”

He commanded you, so you obeyed, and stared at him with glistening eyes as you came, and he fell apart himself, finally, groaning loud and holding on to you, kissing as he came hot, shooting and pumping his hot come in you. So much of it, pulsing inside of you, it brought you to the brink again, and you both cried out, clinging to each other, drinking your cries into your mouths.

He fell on you, spent, and you struggled to breathe, to get your bearings. It was so intense you could scarcely put thoughts together. When he leaned up to stare at you, he studied you, caressing your cheek, still in you, the smallest bit less intense now, but you felt tears hit your eyes.

“You okay? Was it too much…”

“It was perfect.” You paused him with a finger to his lips. “Did you…”

“Don’t you dare ask if I liked it.” He scowled, shoving in more, where you were sore and sensitive, making you cry out then.

“I…” Don’t say it. Don’t say some dumb shit.

He eased out of you, and you hitched your breath, empty, hurting, the air hitting your skin. “What is it, baby girl?”

Gojo was stroking your hair back, kissing your forehead sweetly. Your lashes fluttered in bliss. “I fucking loved it.”

He grinned then, and you saved what you were going to say, but you weren’t lying, because you did. “Yeah?”

“God yes.” He laughed, easing off you, and you missed his weight immediately, frowning.

“I fucking loved it too.” He gave you a little kiss. You sighed happily. “You sure begged and begged for it.”

“Shut it.” You flushed, and he laughed.

“It was hot.” He caressed your throat, eyeing you. “Was that okay?” He was so caring… so thoughtful, no matter how much he acted like he wasn't, you felt it.

“Yes, I really liked it.” You were bright red now, and he kneeled back. You winced.

“Are you sure I didn't hurt you?” He caressed your thigh gently.

“I can handle a little pain. I’ll get used to you. In time, right? That’s how…” He blinked at you, lips in a terse line. “Oh shit, I mean not if you only wanted this to be once? I’m so sorry ugh. I’m assuming…”

“You think I wanted this once?” He growled, yanking you up against him. “I've just started with you. I can think of a million fucking ways I want you to come. I’m nowhere close to being done with you.”

You buried your face in his chest, clinging to him. “Feelings… lots of things… I don’t wanna fuck this up.” You whisper, he tenses, before caressing your hair, kissing the top of your head.

“You won’t fuck anything up. Okay?” You shake your head.

“Feeling lots. Lots.”

“Scared?” You nod, spent, exhausted, looking back up to him.

“Terrified. Don’t think I can be casual about this.” You trembled, and he nodded, a serious look on his gorgeous face.

“Then don’t be casual. Keep me to yourself.” He kissed you, passionately, and you felt your heart shatter, so intense these feelings, heightened by what pleasure hed brought you. You did want him to yourself.

“Like a greedy bitch hmm?” You teased. He chuckled a bit.

“Yeah. And I’ll keep you to myself .”

“I’m yours.” You froze, and watched his expression, he was just as scared as you, strong, sure, conceited Gojo. “Keep me to yourself.”

“Yeah?” He caressed your face, and you leaned into the embrace. “Is this your orgasm brain though?” He tapped your forehead.

You giggled. “It’s never fully known. Just kiss me, yeah?”

He did.

Fuck.

You were falling…

“Alright, go cook those waffles. I'm starving.” He yawned, rolling to his back with a smug grin. You roll your eyes with a smirk. He loved to change serious conversations and at the moment it was welcomed. Your head was spinning.

“Fine, fine.” You went to stand, and your pussy hurt, your legs wobbled. You swayed, and he sat up, catching you.

“Poor brat can't even fucking walk can she?” He whispered, grinning like he'd won the goddamn lottery. You scowled, yanking your trembling arm away.

“Fuck you, I can walk!” You leaned against the side table, sighing, glaring as he laughed triumphantly.

“I'd say you'll get used to that, but no. Looking like fucking Bambi! Ha!” You threw a pillow at him then, and it didn't stop his laugh.

“A deer? Really.” He nodded. “Fine make your own fucking food, dick.”

“A beautiful deer!” He paused you, standing, holding your hand. You raised your free one and flipped him off. He was so sweet then…

Then… then he was just fucking Gojo.

You loved it, ugh.

“Make me waffles, pretty please ?” He batted long lashes at you. You sighed, hiding your smile as you turned away.

“Only because I'm hungry too.” He smacked your ass, hard, and you yelped.

No, you had fallen…

For Satoru Gojo.

The fuck.

Chapter 8

Ch on Ao3:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/55424137/chapters/141431791

#gojo x reader #gojo satoru #jjk gojo #gojo smut #gojou satoru x reader #jjk x reader #smut #jujutsu gojo #satoru x reader #jujutsu satoru #satoru x you #satoru x y/n #jjk smut #ceo satoru gojo

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hanyjar · 10 months

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rain sucks. (i'll make you love it.)

isagi yoichi x reader

summary: your story with isagi yoichi, told through five moments, a bus stop, and rain.

notes: [6.25k words.] idk if isagi lovers still exist, but in the wise words of taylor swift: this is me trying ;)

disclaimers: cursing, reader hates the rain and likes to talk, break up with an ex (not isagi) in part one, loneliness in 'one' and four', self doubt in 'five' but isagi is quick to comfort, fluff -> angst -> fluff, rain kisses, romantic gestures, strangers -> friends -> lovers.

edit: isagi likes rain here (as opposed to the info given in the light novel T_T so very sorry ahh)

masterlist.

ONE.

It has been a bad day.

No. That’s putting it too lightly. Today, June 20th, is the very epitome of shit.

The heated argument you had with your now ex-partner continues to linger in your mind. “I think we’ve been wasting our time” plays on loop like a broken record, and you wonder if you look as lifeless as you feel.

It’s quite a silly thing: how a single person can make you feel as if the whole world is ending. It’s even sillier how you devoted all this effort into a relationship that is nothing but a waste of time to them.

Waste of time.

Even after they crushed your already tattered heart and left it for dead, you can’t help but think how much easier it would be if you feel that way about them too.

Love is a stupid, stupid thing.

You appreciate mother nature for taking pity on you, at least. Rain in the midst of summer has never been your favourite thing - the air always being a little too hard to breathe and the dreary sky a tell-tale sign that the bus is going to be late that day. But today, you feel okay towards rain. The tears from the heavens above do well to cover up your own; the droplets become friends, accompanying you in your forlorn state. For once, you don’t complain about the broken roof at the bus stop letting rain in. For once, you find comfort in the very thing you hate.

And you cry a little bit inside, knowing that your ex has managed to break that part of you as well.

“...Bad day?” A voice breaks you free from your stupor.

You turn to your left, and you feel your breath being taken away.

There, a stranger stands. From first glance, the boy is nothing but ordinary. His navy - almost black - hair did little to set him apart from the rest of the crowd, and he dons the same Ichinan uniform that you (and the multitude of students in the area) wear. But there is something within his cerulean eyes. A fervour of sorts, one that is begging to be unleashed for the whole world to see. To the untrained eye, he is the very essence of average; to a trained eye, the stranger is utterly beautiful.

…Or, that’s what you would say, if he didn’t look like a wet cat. Not the ones featured in those animal shampoo commercials, but one of the sad, pathetically cute, on the verge of tears, literally sopping wet ones. Your breath is taken away, simply because the boy is a mess.

You can’t help but think that this stranger has had a shit day, too.

“Like you have no idea.” You say, voice drenched in exasperation. “Though… You look like you’ve been through a nightmare yourself.”

“A nightmare is an understatement,” he cradles his left temple with his palm. You laugh at his antics.

“Try me, then. Nothing can be worse than getting dumped, right?”

The smile on his face immediately falls, and you can’t help but feel a little bad for dropping a bomb like that to a stranger. “My god.” He exhales, “I am so sorry.” His crestfallen expression makes you feel as if he truly means those words.

“Don’t be. You didn’t know.” Your eyes look down to the soiled concrete. “I’ll be fine, time will pass, after all.” (You say that more to yourself than him, if anything.)

The bus stop is silent for a while, and you feel as if you’ve ruined everything - for the second time today. It’s almost as if the bus stop boy knows, and is eager to change that.

“Well. My name is Isagi Yoichi,” he begins. “And my soccer coach told me that I am mediocre at best; that I don’t have what it takes to do what I love professionally.”

You look into his eyes once more, and the fervour that was once there is now shrouded in a sense of agony you know all too well. The same agony that is, without a doubt, present in your eyes too. Words fail you. And for the years you have shrugged as the therapist friend, you find yourself at a genuine loss.

“...I guess we’re in the same boat then.” You muster out, lamely. “But are you seriously going to let some old geezer tell you what to do with your life? I mean, he’s literally the coach of a no-name highschool team.” Your hands make their way onto Isagi’s, clasping his in-between yours. “Your coach has no right to tell you that when he’s failed at that dream already. Don’t let your coach dictate your worth; don’t let him stop you from shining. Ever.”

He stares at your hands for a second, eyes widened and mouth agape. You are quick to detach yourself from him. “Forgive me,” a sheepish smile grows on your face.” “I speak too much sometimes.”

“No need,” Isagi’s hand moves to rest on the nape of his neck. “Thank you. I needed to hear that today, I think.”

Isagi smiles boyishly. It suits him.

“It’s no problem.” You fiddle with the straps of your backpack, suddenly feeling bashful at his gratitude. “Adults like that? They think they rule the world, but in reality—”

The squeaking of tires interrupts you, and the bus arrives exactly eleven minutes late.

“That’s my cue,” you say, and for a second, you could swear that Isagi seems disappointed. You make your way towards the bus, head turning towards his way before you get on board. “Thanks for the chat, stranger. I’ll see you around.”

You make your way through the barren bus, the driver eyeing you up-and-down for your soaked figure. And just like that, uncertainty and dejection return in waves. Talking to Isagi was a good distraction and all, but you can’t forget that your partner of two years just fucking broke up with you. You are alone now.

You want nothing more than to sleep it all off. This feeling of loneliness is a type that you would not wish on anyone - even your worst enemy. (Well, maybe someone. Your ex, being the said someone. But you like to think that is just the anger talking.)

“Hey!” Isagi’s voice echoes out. Like a ray of sunlight breaking through the grey skies of your mind, it is his turn to make your eyes widen; his voice bypassing the sheet of glass separating you two and reaching the storm that surrounds your heart. “Don’t let that past relationship stop you from shining too, okay?”

…Perhaps, you aren’t so alone after all.

The bus sets off, and Isagi sees you smile at him through the rain-stricken window. The boy hopes that his sentiments have reached you; he hopes that you’ll follow the same advice that you’ve given him.

But above all else, he hopes that he will see you again.

TWO.

“I hate this bus stop and its stupid roof.”

Isagi stops typing away on his phone. “You say that like, all the time nowadays.”

You’ve definitely sucked the life out of that phrase recently, but you take it as a good sign. An indication that you’ve healed.

The relationship that you once held dear is nothing but a mere memory of the past. The countless sleepless nights and time spent wallowing in your own self-doubt have all but ceased to exist. You realised that it simply was not worth your while to cry about a lost love, and to instead surround yourself with the love that remains from those around you. If anything, you are grateful for it: you have grown from that experience tremendously. By no means would you ever consider it to be a waste of time. And in the process?

You garnered a friend. A confidant. That break up led to the beginning of something magical. It led to a friendship with Isagi Yoichi, or, who you like to call, your bus-stop boy.

After the fateful day, you started to notice his presence around more. At first it was in the halls of Ichinan, a mere wave shared between you two here and there. Then the new school year began, and Isagi was shuffled into your homeroom. You began seeing him from once in a while, to literally everyday.

His presence began to bleed more and more into yours, and your lives ended up intertwining together until there was nothing you could do to untangle them. Eventually? Isagi was your deskmate. He was cooking lunch for you, you two eating his homemade lunches together in comfortable silence. You began waiting for his soccer practice to finish, and Isagi would wait by your side at the station until the bus came. A rhythm that you two fell into, almost as easy as breathing.

In your chapter of new beginnings, there is no Isagi Yoichi without you, and there is no you without Isagi Yoichi. An inseparable duo, you two are dubbed as.

You like to think you know a lot about him now. Maybe even go as far as to say you know everything about him, as he knows everything about you.

“It lets the rain in, Isagi.” You whine. “And besides, why is it even raining in Spring? Tsuyu* season isn’t for like, another month or two. There’s no way anyone could like this weather. No way.”

“I don’t know… I don’t mind it every now and then,” he says. “I like rain. I think it’s nice.”

Pause.

Well, maybe you don’t know everything about him.

“What? Since when?” You put your hand on your heart, gasping in mock-offence. “I didn’t know that I’m friends with a traitor.”

He rolls his eyes at you. The audacity. “A traitor, really? Just because I like a bit of rain here and there?”

“It goes deeper than that, Isagi!” You say. (It really doesn’t. You just want an excuse to complain a little, and a sassy Isagi Yoichi is always a fun sight.) “What’s there to like anyways? I don’t get it.”

“I can try to explain it for you, if you’d like.”

“Please do.”

“Have you ever seen what it looks like after it has rained?” He asks. You shake your head in response. You’ve never been the type to stick around long enough to see the sky stop crying. “You should. It’s wonderful, y’know: the glow it leaves afterwards. The streets look like they’ve been reborn - you can literally see the dirt on the concrete being washed away and given another life. If you’re lucky? A rainbow might come and say hi.” Isagi smiles at the little comment he makes.” That sight alone is worth getting your books wet and missing the bus every now and then. And it is just one of many reasons I have, honestly.”

You find yourself smiling at his enthusiasm. It’s cute, when he’s like this. You’re glad that he’s comfortable enough around you to show this side of himself. “I like it when you infodump, Isagi.”

“Did my infodump manage to change your mind?” A tinge of hope emerges in his voice and eyes. You shake your head. The hope is gone just as fast as it came. “Well, maybe the main reason will.”

He gives you a mysterious smile, and proceeds to say nothing.

“Aren’t you going to finish that sentence?”

“Nope, I don’t think I will.” Isagi says. You shoot him an incredulous look. “I’ll tell you… If you don’t fail your social studies paper.”

“Wha— Hey! Now that’s just being mean!”

He laughs. “So then… Why do you hate rain so much, anyways?”

“Changing the subject, really?” You say.

He merely shrugs in response, giving you a teasing grin. “Just roll with it. I promise I’ll tell you,” he pauses. “One day.”

You kick his foot in response, making an impromptu game of footsies ensue.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” Isagi lifts his hands up to the side of his head, surrendering in a fit of boyish laughter. “No but really, I’m curious. Why do you hate it so much?”

“I don’t really know. It’s just—“ You stick your leg out precariously, as if the rain is going to melt your foot. “I hate the rain. I always have, and probably always will.”

A lull of silence passes by - not dissimilar to the one that happened on your first meeting with him. It’s different this time, though, as it is not a silence that is born out of two strangers not quite knowing what to say. It went deeper than that, more intimate, more comforting. Isagi puts a hand on your shoulder, turning you around to face him. “Well,” he begins. “One day, I hope I can show you how beautiful rain can be.”

Isagi smiles - a pretty, pretty thing.

There, amongst the dreary skies and wet cherry blossom leaves, is sunlight. Sunlight, in the form of him. Him, the Ichinan forward. Isagi, a boy who has nestled his way into your life almost too easily.

Yoichi, who leaves your heart hammering a bit too fast for comfort.

“Come on, you’re going to miss your bus.” Isagi’s hand finds its way to yours, locking into place like they were made for eachother. “It’s darker than usual. I’ll walk you home today, okay?”

He drags you towards your usual window seat, tapping the two matching keycards you share while entering. Isagi whispers a quick goodnight as he sits on the seat next to yours.

A smile makes its way towards your lips. Warmth filling up your entire body, entire soul.

You adore his sleeping face; you adore him.

Wait. Adore? Uh oh, you think. I might be falling in love.

*Tsuyu: The rainy period in Japan, generally spanning from May to July. The direct translation is ‘plum rain’, because it coincides with the season that plums ripen in Japan.

THREE.

Isagi is the first one to break the silence.

It’s weird, how he called you out to the bus stop out of the blue. Meeting together here in the past was always out of necessity: one born from a desire to go home and to have a chat with your best friend to end the day on a high note. Never, is the meeting at your sanctuary intentional, like it is now.

You couldn’t help but rush to get here. Not when he texted you like that: frantic and brimming with urgency.

“Sorry for making you come all this way, especially at this time of the night.” He says, carefully. As if he is tiptoeing around eggshells. Like you are strangers again. Isagi is never this careful around you, and hasn’t been for a while now. The change of pace perpetuates fear into the depths of your soul like no other.

“It’s fine.” You tentatively look up from your lap, preferring to look at the night sky instead of his face. I’d do anything for you, when you text me like that. “It’s just… Your message; the tone you’re speaking to me in right now. You’re seriously worrying me, Isagi.”

Isagi lets out a sigh, one quivering with nerves and worry. He places a hand onto your clenched ones, rubbing comforting circles onto the dorsal side. That’s weird. You didn’t even realise you were shaking. “You know that letter from the Japan Football Association I got a few days ago? The one we were so excited about?”

“The one I forced you to accept, right?”

“That’s the one.” He smiles fondly at the memory. The one of the two of you in his room, him being at an absolute mental blank, while you - the ever-so lovely you - was crying tears of joy - a stark contrast to the tears you shed earlier that day, watching him lose the qualifiers. You egged him to accept it, because ‘nothing would make you happier than to see him pursue his dreams’, you said. Words that sent an elation of joy to flood across his body, for he didn’t think that he could love you more. “…Well, I went to that address they gave us today. And that letter didn’t exactly tell the whole story. Of what it is, what their goal is.” Isagi continues; you feel a lump beginning to form at the back of your throat. “Yes, it’s a player improvement project. But I have to stay at this camp, I think. I don’t know how long I’ll be staying there, and I can’t contact anyone that’s not a part of it either. All I know is that it starts tomorrow. Officially.”

“What…” You muster out, at a complete loss for words.

“It’s called Blue Lock, and I’m going for it.” He places his unoccupied hand onto his chest, eyes igniting with a kindred spirit like no other. “I think this is my best shot at becoming the best. To play beyond a national level, and make you proud. But…” He pauses, pinching your chin with his index finger and thumb, forcing you to look him in the eyes for the first time in this conversation. “I won't go if you don’t want me to. I won’t, and will never do anything that you don’t like. So just say the word, and I’ll stay. Right here, right by your side.”

It hurts so damn bad. All of this, how it is so out of the blue, how there’s a possibility you may never see the boy, who has been such a pivotal aspect of your life for the last year or so, ever again. You want to be supportive - heck, you’d go to war just to see Isagi shine. But it hurts. You love him, for goodness sake. Every bone in your body wants him to stay, to not break the sacred normalcy that you have shared with the man that makes you smile brighter than anyone else can.

But the skies are clear. And the right answer, the solution to all of this, is even clearer.

“You’d have to be stupid to not go.” You say, voice unwavering with confidence. However, your eyes are anything but. “You have to go, Isagi. I don’t want to destroy your dreams like that and ruin the potential you have. I could never live with myself if I made you stay.”

Isagi kisses you on the forehead, once. “Thank you,” Twice. “Thank you, so much.” He leans his forehead against yours, and his teary ones meet your equally watery ones. “I’m going to miss you more than anything. I promise, I’m going to become number one. Just for you.”

“You better.” You chuckle, choking on a sob. “Shine brighter than anyone else, Isagi. I’ll be watching you every step of the way.”

He nods in response, and you stay like that for a while. For minutes, hours, even. Foreheads kissing each other, and staring into his cerulean eyes like it’s the last time you’ll ever see them.

“I never told you the reason, didn’t I?” Isagi breathes out.

“What?”

“The reason why I love rain as much as I do.” He says. You let out a careful no, wondering if he did tell you, and you just weren’t listening.

“It’s because,” Isagi begins, reaching for your right hand and opening it, palm facing up. “It was raining when I met you.” You feel him reach for his back pocket, and Isagi pulls out a pristine white envelope, placing it into your hand. It is sealed with red wax and decorated with golden swirls. Beautiful. Like it came right out of a fairytale. “…And you are the best thing that has ever happened to me.”

Your body quivers, and you feel the tears threatening to return again. “You’re so corny,” you say, half-flustered and half-shy. “And I still hate the rain.” You reach a hand up to his cheek, looking at his lips in a way that just friends don’t. “But Isagi, you. You are the best thing that’s happened to me too.”

He looks at your lips too, and you anticipate for something more - to go beyond what you two have built so beautifully. To go beyond friends, and transform into lovers.

Isagi pulls you in for a tight hug instead. You reciprocate. Those thoughts disappear as fast as they came.

“So..” You clench the letter tight within your hands, and you cringe at the feeling of droplets meeting your shoulder. (Truth is, you didn’t know if you were cringing at the fact you wished he had kissed you, or if it is the impending sky-fall. You choose to believe the latter.) “Do I open it now?”

He pulls away from the hug first, and smiles, embarrassment painting his features. “I’d prefer it if you read it later.”

The droplets fasten, quicker and quicker, and Isagi pulls you closer to him, putting you out of the rain’s way. “Oh come on! It has to rain now, out of all times?” You heave a great sigh, burying your head into the nape of his neck.

“It gives us an excuse to stay here for a little while longer, doesn’t it?” He gives you puppy dog eyes.

“As much as I’d love to stay with you all night, it’s getting late,” you say, laughing inwardly. “I don’t want to worry your parents. Actually— have you even told your parents about Blue Lock yet?”

He shakes his head. “No, I wanted you to be the first one to know.”

How sweet. “Then you should hurry home,” you whisper. “I shouldn’t hold you up.”

“You sure?” Isagi holds your hands tighter than before. I don’t want to leave you yet, his eyes scream.

“I’m sure.” You squeeze his hands in response. I don’t want to let you go either, your eyes say.

Isagi leans in once more, bumping your noses together, eyes meeting in a silent agreement. But we have to. And we’ll be okay.

“Promise that you won’t forget me?”

“I could never.”

And so he goes. But you stay. You remain seated, sheltered beneath the shoddy bus-stop. A sense of déjà vu passes, it’s just like all those times before. But it’s almost painful this time. Your bus-stop boy is walking away from you, instead of seeking shelter alongside you. You laugh at yourself, bitterly. You don’t know if you’ll ever move on from him, or if you even want to. Not when your forever-person has pried his way into your heart like this, not when Isagi feels like home.

You pry the wax seal off the letter, unfolding the paper that is encased inside in a hurry, a tinge of excitement coursing through your veins.

‘I still haven’t shown you the beauty of rain. Will you wait for me? Love, Isagi.’

A laugh escapes your lips. Of course you would. You’d wait forever, and forevermore for him. He didn't even have to ask. It’s something that you would’ve done as one would breathe air. And in a way, you realise that there’s a certain calamity to your circumstance.

You love him so much that you’d willingly let Isagi tear down everything you’ve ever known. Whether it may be something silly like your animosity towards rain, or the idea of letting someone love you again. You’d let him do it all.

And that is terrifying. But exquisitely so.

A barrage of steps sounds itself out in the quiet of the night, a figure making its way to you - closer, closer, and closer. Oh god, someones not trying to kill me, are they?

Then you see a familiar sight. A boy with his hair in disarray, black outerwear soaking wet, looking just like the wet cat from your first meeting but this time more mature and more determined, and suddenly he’s pulling you into the rain with him, grasping onto your shoulders, locking his eyes onto yours and oh. He’s kissing you on the lips now.

“I’m sorry,” he says. “I couldn’t leave without kissing you first. I think I’d go crazy if I didn't.”

“I think I’d go crazy too,” you chuckle, resting your head against his chest. “And yeah. Of course I’ll wait for you, dummy.”

“You opened it already?”

“I can’t wait to see how you’ll make me love rain.”

…You should’ve known he would’ve given you that kiss first.

Isagi is not the type to leave you disappointed for too long, after all.

FOUR.

The days seem to blur together in Isagi’s absence.

The last year or so was, for a lack of a better word, lonely. Filled with rumours that you drove your best friend mad and he ran away, or that you murdered Isagi and the police have yet to discover his body, you felt as if the only people in your life for the last few months were your family and Isagi’s parents.

The sudden isolation is getting to you. And you know it. It shows in the dreariness of your demeanour; bears its teeth in the darkening eye bags that have crept their way onto your face. You’re not certain that he will be able to recall your face anymore. Heck, you can’t recognise yourself anymore either. Gosh, who would’ve thought that being Isagi-less for a little while would do this to you?

But today brings something new to the table: hope. Confirmation that all of this waiting has been worth it after all. You’ll get to see him in an hour or two come morning, and it will be enough.

Or, at least, that's the timeframe you predicted last night.

“There have been reports of mass delays in the Saitama Public Transport Network due to heavy storms and rainfall. Civilians can expect their regularly scheduled buses and trains to be postponed for up to two hours or more—“

You throw a pancake at your TV and scream.

The what-would-be one hour trip to Tokyo is now possibly three, and since your butter fingers slipped and set the wrong alarm last night, you are already running late.

You just hope that Isagi’s parents are still waiting for you outside.

Ding!

You reach into your pocket for your phone, and a message from Isagi’s mother illuminates the screen.

‘Sorry, Honey. We left already. Issei is worried that the traffic is going to hold us up from getting to Tokyo in time.’

Great. Just great.

It seems as if the universe is practically begging for you to not see Isagi today. But after not seeing him for months - not even a hi, hello, or a single sign that your Isagi is safe and sound - you only have one thing on your mind.

Screw the universe. I need to see him. Screw it all.

You chuck on a pair of navy converses, making your way towards the bus stop that started it all. The streets are busier nowadays. With various roadworks and several shops getting renovations left and right. However, the one location that you know like the back of your hand remains abandoned, frozen in time, almost. Still on its last leg, with a leaky roof and ivy adorning the wooden frame.

The seats have grown moss on them from the increase in rainfall nowadays. And so you choose to stand instead - quietly observing the pouring downfall, thoughts running amok.

It’s almost scary, how time has simultaneously been impetuous and sluggish lately. And you know it ties back to Isagi. It always does. You haven’t seen the boy in ages, actually. And that, in itself, is an understatement. It isn’t in the 'two weeks off school’, or the ‘we haven’t talked since summer break’ way, but in an ‘I’m honestly forgetting your face since it is now a new spring without you’ way.

…You don’t think you’ll have the heart to ever tell him that.

There is one thing that scares you more, though. And that's in the way that you’re forgetting how Isagi looks when he wears his smile. Does his lips curve upwards or downwards? Do his eyes turn into half-moons when he’s happy or does he bear his cerulean eyes for everyone to see? All of these are questions that invade your mind during sleepless midnights. Questions, that you never thought you would ask at all.

You can only hope that his smile is better than you can imagine. That he glows radiantly like he does in the fragments that appear in your memory every once in a while. Will happiness look good on him? Will it feel like a shame that you’ve been missing out on it all this time?

Maybe that’s the real reason why you’re worried that Isagi won't remember you: because you can hardly recall his face yourself. As in, truly, know what he looks like. You know Isagi from the blurry photos on your phone taken at 3AM sleepovers, and the display frames lined around his family’s home. The big picture itself is easy to see. The little things - the quirks of his that made you fall - have been much harder to recall.

But you do remember a few things. Arguably, the most important ones.

Your love for him; Isagi’s promise. The way he kissed you like he needed you to live; the way you cried for him amongst the skyfall.

The way Isagi taught you that it’s okay to love.

And it’s okay to be loved back.

For now, that is enough.

Droplets continue to batter against your woollen jumper, the rain drenching your entire being. It soaks your hair, makes the knuckles on your clenched fists a light violet, disguises the tears falling down from your face. The rain is ever so violent, leaving a mess of you in its wake. For the second time in your life, you let the rain do as it pleases. You let it destroy the outfit you meticulously planned, wreak havoc on the converses Isagi gave to you on your birthday. All in hopes that it will eventually cleanse your soul. Cleanse the pain, the happiness. Wipe the slate clean, as the rain does with the pavement, until you are reborn from the ashes and live a life where you aren’t so, irrecoverably in love with your best friend.

But you know, deep down, it will never save you from your calamitous love. That even if you are reborn, one word will remain in your heart. One, sacred word that you keep like an oath.

Promise.

You wonder if Isagi remembers his promise in the same way that you do.

It’s the only reason why you are going to the game today, after all.

Your hands loosen from the fist you’ve been keeping this whole time, deep crescent moons adorning the insides of your palm. A slip of paper flurries out from your hand - swishing with the wind in a way that a feather would. It dances around, until it lands in the puddle that has formed beneath your feet.

Shit. The ticket.

You bend down and clutch a now-soaked sheet of paper in your palm, tiny inscriptions that adorned the sheet now bleeding together. The only thing now visibly readable being: ‘JAPAN’S U20 VS BLUE LOCK’.

Rain really, really sucks.

(You’ve never hated it more.)

The bus finally arrives amidst the downpour.

(Yet, for some reason, a small part of you is excited to see the rainbow that comes after the storm.)

FIVE.

Isagi has always loved the rain.

Ever since he was a young boy, the rain has always had a certain allure that captivated him more than most. In his eyes, puddles held miniature worlds within them, with pebbles acting as land formations and stray twigs imitating people. Enchanting. Raindrops race each other down window panes, with him as an eager viewer. Simply spellbinding. However, nothing has ever beat the feeling of playing soccer amongst the rainfall. The feeling of watching the opponents around you struggle to run in the mud, as you calculate the best direction to head in; pieces of grass decorating your cleats in the aftermath like a badge of honour. Getting sick afterwards is a simple price to pay if it means transforming the pitch into a battlefield. Rain makes the game something to remember.

It’s the duality of rain that makes Isagi treasure the phenomenon dearly; rain can be simultaneously beautiful and destructive at the same time. Which, shockingly to him, is the very same fact that makes you despise it so much.

Your face appears within his mind. Isagi smiles.

Ah yes, you.

The person who despises rain more than anything else in the world. Who groans at the slightest hint of darkening clouds, and acts as if drizzle is akin to acid rain that will obliterate everyone in an instant.

Nowadays, media outlets constantly poke and prod into your relationship with one another as Isagi’s reputation grows - at a speed only fathomable in his wildest dreams - wondering how he can love you so much when the two of you are so different in every sense.

“…They just don’t understand,” he said to you on a day where it was all too much. “They’ll never understand how you’ve changed my life, is all.”

“Me? The person who nearly forgot you? Who doubted you and thought that you would’ve forgotten about them too?” You angrily clenched your head. “I don’t see how you’ve forgiven me so easily for that.”

“I told you already,” he began. “When I was gone I had the same thoughts as you. I forgot you for a bit, too. I doubted you, as well. I could never hold that against you, because I did the same, and– and… I regret it everyday; I know you regret it too.” Isagi inhaled sharply. “But at the end of the day, we both remembered the promise. And that’s enough.”

“…Right. I’m sorry, Yoichi.” Your eyes locked with his through the gaps between your fingers. “I love you so much, y’know that?”

“I know.” He grabbed your left hand, giving it a swift kiss. “I love you more, infinitely.”

Isagi cherishes you like he is a marauder and you are the finest jewel; he looks at you like you’re the only person who ever matters. And that’s true. Because to him, you are. With the countless sacrifices you’ve made for him; sticking by his side every step of the way; waiting and waiting for years; being the brunt of scrutiny from the media - heck - even your peers in high-school prior to his Blue Lock debut, Isagi is unsure if he will ever be able to repay you for all that you’ve done.

…But he does have an idea on where to begin.

Isagi averts his attention to the sights outside the bus window. He wonders why the rain is extra pretty today. The beauty of the raindrops seem otherworldly currently - a cascade of water flowing down overflowing gutters, iridescent hues lining the streets that he grew up on, children jumping into puddles with no care in the world. The rainy downpour from the heavens above seems unfaltering - even against the brilliance of Saitama’s lights. And amidst the hustle and bustle - adults finding their way into comforting warmth - there is you. Waiting in the rain for him underneath the bus stop, face twisted in discomfort, twirling the umbrella in your hand round and round.

It is no coincidence that the rain is so charming today.

No.

It’s prettier, because of you.

Always, you.

His sweetheart of many years.

“Hey, stranger.” You greet him as Isagi steps outside of the vehicle he practically grew up on, ushering him underneath the umbrella you brought with you.

You, who he loves more and more everyday.

“Hey yourself.” His eyes twinkle with mirth as he takes the umbrella from your hands. “It’s been a long time since we were both here, hasn’t it?”

“It has,” Your face lightens up with the smile that he loves so much. “To think the last time we were here together was when…”

He looks into your eyes, face erupting with a mix of his boyish smile and laughter. “...When I kissed you. Yeah. I don’t think I could ever forget that night.”

The look on your face tells Isagi that neither could you.

“Even though we’ve had countless other kisses since then, that one is still my favourite, y’know?” Your hands move up to cup his face within your palms. “Yoichi, you don’t do romantic things like that anymore.”

“Are you sure about that?”

“Positive.” You stick your tongue out at him.

Isagi lets go of the source of shelter you are sharing, and lets it drift away with the wind. “Hey! We’re gonna get soaked!” You turn your back towards him, hands desperately trying to catch the stray umbrella that seems to be more than happy to escape. “C’mon Yoichi! What was that for?”

“Turn around for me.”

“What?”

“Just do it.” He says, a smile evident in his words.

Isagi sees you gasp, the sight of him knocking the wind from your chest.

There he is, kneeling with his right knee down to the floor - pants getting soaked from the wet concrete below. And in his outstretched hands, lays a small, black velvet box, a diamond ring embedded within its centre.

“Will you marry me?” Isagi asks, starry-eyed. Voice soft and vulnerable.

One day came, and now you know Isagi is right.

Rain can be beautiful.

EXTRA.

“Hey, Isagi. What’s the date today?”

“June 20th. Why?”

“No reason,” a small grin makes its way to your face. “Just curious.”

#blue lock x reader #isagi yoichi x reader #isagi x reader #yoichi x reader #isagi yoichi #blue lock #yoichi isagi x reader #blue lock isagi #bllk x reader #bllk imagines #isagi yoichi bllk #bllk #blue lock imagines #blue lock fanfic #isagi yoichi x you #isagi yoichi x y/n

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lavenderfilledcoffin · 22 days

Text

embrace

verb

hold (someone) closely in one's arms, especially as a sign of affection.

*♪¸¸.•*¨･:*ೄ·*♪¸¸.•*¨･:*

Urbanshade. Hadal Blacksite. Oh how you wish you could forget it all.

Being falsely imprisoned and given a second chance at life if you were to bring back an "important" crystal.

The money was tempting, and you were on the brink of going crazy.

You wish you had never taken their offer.

Eyefestation was a total pain. The sight of her caused your brain to melt, literally.

Squiddles are terrifying in your own way if you don't watch your step.

Anglers...

"Shi—t!" You yelp out, pushing yourself out of the locker while almost getting caught by an angler.

You started to hyperventilate, the anxiety of being in the locker being all too much to bear.

You check your vitals, your health was not in good shape and you needed to find a med kit soon. "Damn." You whisper to yourself.

You look up, the numbers displaying 34 in bright green. Almost halfway there.

After narrowly escaping death every few doors, this place's true nature started to finally set in.

You found an office room, away from everything. You couldn't help but sit down and lean your head against the wall.

Your loved ones. Did they still think of you? Did they believe those lies of those false murders? Did they even miss you?

Fat tears welled up in your eyes. "No..." You mumble, clinging onto yourself for false comfort.

'Get the crystal, and get out of here.' Those words repeated in your mind, playing over and over again like a broken record.

The stinging pain near your solar plexus didn't help either, it felt like this was hell already.

You forced yourself to stand up, wiping the tears away as you look up to the next door.

Door 50.

You pushed on, your health slowly declining. A sharp pain in your thigh becoming more and more apparent. It's a wonder you haven't passed out from exhaustion yet.

You make your way into door 51, then you saw 52 in bright blue. Shit. A keycard door.

As if on cue, a vent cover suddenly flew open, "stranger, over here."

A muffled male voice spoke out, it lulled you but you were still hesitant. What if it was an entity mimicking a human voice?

You had no other choice, you were alone in this horrible place with no one to communicate with.

"Welcome, welcome! Don't be afraid, I'm not going to hurt you—" He continued on, introducing himself and his little shop he has for expendables like yourself.

You walk up to his tail, noticing the huge size difference between the both of you. You gulp, shaking subtly while grabbing a med kit, and handing him loose assets. His form of payment was simple, DNA vials, usb sticks, and other files that were junk to you.

"Thank you." His ear fins and tail wiggled with excitement, his hands rubbing together.

You use the med kit, healing yourself with the sterile gauze and septic spray inside of the small box.

You awkwardly smile at him, taking your leave after purchasing a lantern, and grabbing the keycard.

He watched your form disappear through the vent. "Stay safe now." He advised, sighing to himself as he heard the door's keycard scanner chime and unlock.

Well. That was new.

Death after death, you just wouldn't stay dead. What the hell was going on? This truly must be hell-on-Earth.

At least it meant you could see Sebastian.

"Oh, you're back, lovely." He pulled his lure down, causing it to flicker on, and he greeted you with his usual smile.

"I was so close to retrieving the crystal but... I couldn't leave you." Memories of your last run played in your head, that split second decision of leaving Sebastian behind and going back home, or continue being tormented by these creatures...

Sebastian.

"Better luck next time." His voice interrupted your thoughts, playfully ruffling your hair up with his third arm.

You hum in response to his words, deciding not to dwell on the fact that he ignored how you chose him over freedom, basically.

He picked you up with ease, two of his arms holding you up like a cat while his third rest on his hip.

His eyes shone into yours, it's almost blinding, but you didn't mind.

"Stay here with me." His words stunned you. Your eyes blink repeatedly as if it would help you process them quicker.

"W... What?"

"You heard me."

"I..." You weighed your options carefully. Was it worth it? Abandoning your life to stay with this abnormally large fish?

His company is pleasant, but what would happen if you were to be injured? What if he was hurt, what if—

"Hey, eyes on me." His voice brought you out of your trance. "Well?"

"Okay. I'll... Stay." A knot of excitement and regret tightens in your stomach.

"Good." He sets you down on his tail, turning you around so your back is against him.

Sebastian then started fiddling with the explosive on your neck, opening the back compartment, being met with all sorts of wires.

Your blood turned cold, cold sweat started to form as you anxiously anticipated the results.

You shut your eyes tightly, trembling a little, but he reaches his third arm to reassuringly rest it on your shoulder.

You expect the worst, a clink is heard and you yelp; expecting it to blow up.

But it falls off, a weight, literally, has been lifted off of you.

You reach your hands up to your neck, absolutely astonished.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you." You repeatedly cry out, wrapping your arm around where his waist would be.

He wrapped his arms around you in return, a smile plastered on his face. "I enjoy your company, [Name]."

"I do too, Seb."

"Using nicknames now, huh?" He chuckled at his own words, patting your head with his left hand.

"I'll allow it, only because it's you." He scooped you up into his arms, cradling you as his tail acts as a cushion for himself.

"Tired?" You question, his lure's light flickering softly.

"Maybe." He yawns after, shaking his head to shorten the dizziness period.

You rest your head against his chest, closing your eyes.

"Goodnight. Or, whatever time it is." You mumble, already falling asleep, somehow.

Sebastian reaches a hand up to his lure, pulling it down, and it turns off. "Goodnight, dear."

#sebastian solace x reader #sebastian solace x you #sebastian pressure x reader #sebastian pressure #sebastian solace

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wonfilms · 6 months

Text

genre: fluff | word count: 0.8k

warnings: a little bit of kissing, 7 minutes in heaven | a/n: maybe this is my 3rd time writing for hee recently but dykw i'm proud now. this was so word vomit icl

out of all the things you were planning on doing friday night, being trapped in a cramped closet with lee heeseung was not at the top of your list... it was dark, and hell you couldn’t even see the boy, but knowing his annoyingly pretty face was right in front of you made your stomach churn more than you wanted it to.

“this is… nice” he speaks, sarcastically. you catch the glimmer of his eyes.. “yep… so.. nice.” you reply, hearing the laughter echoing right outside the door.. jake teases from outside the door, “just kiss already~! time's ticking!”. you could see heeseung roll his eyes even in the darkness. then another slightly muffled voice comes from outside again, “they both like each other what’s taking them so long!?”

you could you weren’t supposed to hear that from the way you could quite literally see heeseung’s face drop resulting in a deep blush of embarrassment.

you smirk taking the opportunity to try and meet his eyes.. “oh really?” you smiled, folding your arms. he scoffs, its a pathetic attempt at a cover up.. he then teases back, which wasn’t quite in your plan. “oh right so you like me too? that statement wasn’t just one sided huh?” you could hear the cockiness in his voice, it made you want to slap him and kiss him silly all at once.

“like you? please i can’t stand you” you lie through your teeth, you can’t help it. maybe it’s the way your head swam with panic that made you imagine it… but you almost notice him smile, and come a little closer.

“cat’s out the bag i guess..” he says it quietly, like he’s testing the waters.. it was the like the walls were closing in on you two but all of a sudden you’re standing chest to chest, and hes looking down at you all doe-eyed. “i guess.. i don’t actually really hate you…? but you better admit it too, because you’re so stubborn i know you won’t say it out of free will”

it’s a poor confession but the way he smiled so widely at your words made your heart flutter with emotion.. “that’s a shit way of telling someone you like them lee heeseung” you tease, grasping onto the tiniest bit of leverage over him before it comes crashing down when you feel his breath on your lips.

and he gives out a soft little laugh that makes your damn stomach flip with butterflies,

“maybe it’s not the best…”. your heart is about to give out at the stupid smile on his face. “fuck…” he murmurs, looking at you with affection…? in his eyes…

since when did he get so close…? and since when did you like it?!

your mind goes blank, his nose is against yours, his lashes slightly grazing your cheek as he whispers, breath mingling with yours. “fine, have it your way.. i really like you.”

his damn lips are right next to yours, it’s almost embarrassing the way you instantly folded at his words. “i like you too” your own words come out in a rush, maybe if you said it quick enough, you won’t feel so overwhelmed.

and then he kisses you. lee heeseung kisses you.

and it’s probably something you’ll replay in your mind before you go to bed tonight, and tomorrow night, and probably forever with how your heart leaps out your chest..

“oh my god they’ve gone silent..” you can hear jake whisper shout as they all listen intently outside the closet. you can feel your face heat up at the idea of facing everyone afterwards, but for once you let yourself enjoy this, kissing him back with as much fervour as he did.

hating on lee heeseung sure was fun, but making out with him was just a little better.

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pommpuriinn · 8 months

Text

˖ 𖥻 사랑해- 🪐 TO DO EP.128 LEAVING NEVERLAND TO GO TO EVERLAND PART 1 AND 2

.˚ *꒰ঌsynopsis໒꒱ * ˚. It’s tubatu’s lucky day! They finally go to the famous Everland and meet the superstar herself Fu Bao the panda. Along with eating amusement park food and riding rides all day.

.˚ *꒰ঌauthor’s note໒꒱ * ˚. thank you for 204 followers! I appreciate you guys liking my work and I hope you enjoy this one

outfit | makeup | hair | nails

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ “I’m so excited~” Joohyung squealed with excitement. “Noona has never really experienced the whole Everland experience.” Yeonjun told the staff. “Well it’s everyone lucky day because you guys can do whatever you want including enjoying the food, but of course you need money so-“ the staff member pulled out the company card. All the members gasped at the sight. “Is it a black card?” Taehyun joked around.

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ the group started walking and talking about how it’s been so long since the last time they came or have some didn’t even ride the rides before. “Are the rides scary?” Joohyung asked Beomgyu who was holding her hand inside his sweater pocket. “Many aren’t.” He tired reassuring her. “Don’t worry Joohyung-ah they aren’t that scary.” Soobin chimed in. “Ok~” she mumbled with a pout (cue the baby noise the editors like to use).

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ they headed to the gift shop before anything to get deck out in Fu Bao merch, well mostly Yeonjun. He wanted to make a good impression on the princess herself. On the other hand Joohyung cooed at how cute Kai was being as he mimicked a red panda with his cute headband. “Kai let’s match.” Joohyung said, while getting the same hat and ears as him.

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ Joohyung lightly gasped at the sight of Taehyun, “why are the babies so cute today.” Taehyun was wearing the brown hood with ears. Truly looking like a squirrel which warmed Joohyung’s heart with cuteness. The group quickly took pictures before heading to meet Fu Bao.

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ Joohyung laughed at Yeonjun’s giddiness while they were heading to the panda building just before seeing the main event. The building was covered in panda photos and facts. “Wow, they really love their pandas.” Joohyung looked all around while sitting on the couch in the middle. “Noona look up.” Joohyung listened to Kai. “Woah you look a cute cat~” Kai giggled at the photo.

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ “oh my god, oh my god!” Joohyung whispered yelled as they made their way to actual see Fu Bao. “She’s so big and cute.” Joohyung followed the boys and pulled out her phone to take her own pictures, but she accidentally pulled out her iPhone instead of her Samsung from her shoulder bag. “Oh shit.” Everyone looked at her in shocked. “I’m sorry.” Joohyung tried holding in her laughter. “You disrespected her.” Beomgyu was pretending to be offended at Joohyung. “I’m sorry Fu Bao.” She gave the panda a small bow.

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ Joohyung was must excited to go on the Safari World tour. She sat in between Kai and Beomgyu waiting to enjoy the little tour. First it was the Korean tigers, lions, and bengal tigers. “Oh. My. God. They’re so cute!” Joohyung wanted to just go out and lay with them. “This one looks like noona.” Soobin pointed at the tiger that was sunbathing on a rock. “I literally have a picture of noona sunbathing exactly like that, but on our couch.” Taehyun giggled.

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ next were the bears, “so cute~ I just want to pat their chubby butts.” Joohyung looked out the window with big eyes. “Look they’re playing.” Joohyung pointed at the two brother bears play fighting.

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ after the fascinating safari tour the members immediately headed to the food stand and started deciding on what they wanted. It was they’re first meal of the day so they went a bit crazy, but who can blame them they woke up so early just to get to experience certain things without lots of people around or following them. They went behind a building to enjoy their food and drinks and as they were munching away Soobin did a quick head count and realized Joohyung wasn’t standing with them. “Where’s Joohyung?” The members eyes widened, but the panic quickly dissolve when they spotted Joohyung sitting on the floor back against the building eating her churro with her sweet tea in the other hand. “Ya you scared us!” Soobin playfully scolded her. “Sorry I just wanted to sit down and eat.” She smiled at Soobin.

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ “I hope the director gets wet.” Yeonjun teased. “Don’t say that because then we’re going to get wet.” Joohyung chuckled, as she was sitting next to him on the Amazon Express water ride. It wasn’t long until karma got Yeonjun and unfortunately got Beomgyu too both getting a bit wet with the splash. “See I told you. You dummy!” Joohyung yelled while holding her glasses in place, scared that they might fall off her face. Water splashed on Joohyung causing her glasses and short bangs to get a bit wet. “Ah!” She screamed in shock.

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ “noona your bangs.” Yeonjun laughed at the sight of pouty Joohyung. “Here let me help you.” Yeonjun ruffled her bangs trying to fix them. “Thank you.” She mumbled, as she wiped the water drops off her glasses.

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ again Joohyung went by Beomgyu’s side and hugged his left arm while hearing the members discuss about a roller coaster they want to go on. Soon they were met by a spinning coaster which was very intimidating to not only Joohyung but Kai too. “Let’s just start with Rolling X Train.” Yeonjun led the way.

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ “don’t worry we have each other.” Joohyung sat next to Kai which they couldn’t decide if it was a good idea seating the two scary cats together or not. Joohyung intertwine her hand with Kai’s. The ride started and Joohyung let out a small whimpered. “It’s ok noona just hold my hand tight.” Even though Kai was scared he just put on a brave face for Joohyung. As soon as the ride went down on the drop Joohyung started screaming with her head down, and bringing her and Kai’s hands to her head squeezing his hand. Both of their souls left their body as the ride slowly went back to the start.

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ Yeonjun, Soobin, and Taehyun went on a different spinning ride which Beomgyu, Joohyung, and Kai opt out on for obvious reasons. “They’re crazy.” Joohyung shook her head ‘no’ while staring at them. Kai kept on taking pictures of them which he captured a scared looking Yeonjun who was sideways. “Why does he look like that!” Joohyung laughed at the photos.

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ they made their way back to the first spinning ride still deciding if they wanted to go on it. “I’ll ride it.” Yeonjun said, while taking off his little Fu Bao backpack. Soobin soon agreed to go with Yeonjun who still looked a bit hesitant. “I’ll go too hyung.” Kai rised his hand. “You’re so brave.” Joohyung gave Kai a comforting hug before staying with Beomgyu and Taehyun. Right when the ride started moving Joohyung Kai sighed probably asking ‘how did I get here?’. “Aw Kai looks so nervous.” Joohyung rested her cheek on Beomgyu’s arm, as she watched Kai. “Ya, I can only hear Yeonjun’s screams.” The three laughed at Yeonjun’s screams, as the ride turned back and forth.

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ it comes with a surprise that Joohyung actually enjoys riding the Viking than roller coasters. Kai hates this one. So he sat in between Joohyung and Yeonjun who at first were having fun then they two hugged Kai for comfort throughout the whole ride. “I was squeezing noona’s arm.” Kai said, as they got off the ride. “I saw you pulled her down with you.” Soobin teased, as they walked. “Kai are you okay?” Beomgyu asked, looking back at him. “Kai wanted to die.” Taehyun laughed. “Leave my baby alone.” Joohyung gently punched Taehyun’s arm, making everyone smile at her protectiveness of Kai.

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ “it’s time to rest.” Joohyung stretched her arms out on the table of an empty little dinning room they went into. The members all laid their heads down and close their eyes trying to gain their energy back with a quick power nap. Well it wasn’t really a nap but at least they closed their eyes for a second before talking about their favorite parts of the day plus memories of similar experiences they had.

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ as Beomgyu was talking Joohyung was watching has he pushing one side of his hair back. “You’re pretty.” Joohyung whispered, causing Beomgyu to looked back at her before getting flustered with her stare. He quickly laid his head back onto her arm so she wouldn’t see his rosy cheeks and ears.

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ “the cat family was so cute.” Joohyung recalled at how cute they looked sleeping on the rocks. “Oh! I found the picture I was talking about earlier.” Taehyun stopped eating and pulled out his phone to show the camera and the members. “This was when she visited us.” Taehyun let the camera zoom in on his phone. “Please put and side by side comparison.” Yeonjun asked the staff which they gladly did.

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ then they started talking about the rides and which one was the most intense one to Yeonjun with all the rides he has ridden before. “How about the one in Las Vegas?” Taehyun asked Yeonjun. “That one was scary. I’m surprised Joohyung even went on it.” The group shared laughs. “Noona was sitting next to a foreigner and they were holding eachother screaming.” Taehyun added. “With fear we became friends during those short moments.” Joohyung laughed at the memory.

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ “overall we had lots of fun and let’s have more fun in the next-“

“To Do~” the group chants after Joohyung closed them out.

#txt 6th member #txt additional member #kpop added member #kpop additional member #kpop female addition #txt female member #txt female addition #kpop female oc #txt scenarios

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shiveringgroovy · 7 months

Note

Got any RITHOTD headcanons?

YES SIR/MA'AM/ENTITY OF THE SLOP I DO!!!!!! spoiler they're all autistic and i'm gonna project onto fyodor like nobody's business

Fyodor

Class 2 Autism with debilitating executive dysfunction (no i don't take criticism i know damn well that weirdboy can't get shit done. sincerely someone with class 1 autism and debilitating executive dysfunction)

Paranoid Schizophrenia with religious delusions

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder

REALLY picky about sensory stimuli

Can't Stand: spicy food, mushy textures, dried mud and paint, velcro, hot environments, having dry hands, overwhelmingly sweet scents/tastes, the smell, texture, and taste of blood

Really Likes: soft/long hair, smooth textures, wood smells, carbonated drinks (listen idk why but i think as soon as shit like monster energy was released he was INSANE)

REALLY loves nature, but doesn't interact with it often

Favorite Animals: Rats, Spiders, Roaches, Tardigrades, Cats

Really poor eyesight, needs glasses but hates having things on his face

Pushkin

Class 1 Autism

ADHD with major executive dysfunction

Major Depressive Disorder

Arthritis

Also really picky about sensory stimuli

Hates loud noises and scraping sounds in specific. wears earplugs/covers his ears with his coat hood to block out some noise

Not a huge nature fan, but likes most rodents and canines

Had a service dog for a while, probably a boxer or a doberman

Uses a cane, but would prefer crutches

Listens to classic rock like a fucking NERD. probably has a last.fm account too. someone introduce him to goreshit

he's my babygirl.

Ivan

Class 2 Autism

Epilepsy

Psychosis

UGGGHGHHHHH I WANT THE BEAUTIFUL PRINCESS WITH SEVERAL DISORDERS SO BAD I'M GONNA [gets crushed by a rock]

World's most normal Throbbing Gristle fan (the band)

Loves nature, especially invertebrates

Favorite Animals: Roaches, Beetles, Isopods, Centipedes

Stims by blinking rapidly, cracking his joints, and throwing rocks around like a cat toy for himself

Stands with his feet crossed and twisted to keep his balance

Often manipulates the ground below him to keep his balance as well, it pisses Pushkin off because he ends up falling

Mushitaro

people seem to forget this guy (was) in the rats blehhhhh (i like him :3)

Class 1 Autism

Owns exotic animals (macaws, old-world tarantulas, axolotls, etc)

Music taste varies. He'll listen to "whatever" but still skip through a ton of songs to get to one he likes

The worst backseat driver of all time

Has trouble regulating his voice volume, normally very loud

Has kept hundreds of diaries, this guy doesn't play about journalling.

Loves brightly-colored things

Hawthorne

Borderline Personality Disorder

Really good at baking and cooking

He literally CANNOT stand up after a fight because fym he intentionally loses that blood????

I'm ngl I was never interested in this guy

Cat and dog lover, hates invertebrates and considers them "dirty"

He's a total lightweight trust me. has one drink and starts sobbing

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mxnson13 · 2 years

Note

Hey i love your fanficion i was wondering could u write about female best friend reader masterbating in her bedroom to the thought of eddie and moaning Eddie's name and shit but what she dosent realise is that eddie has just arrived at her house and is now standing at her bedroom doorway watching her eddie and the female best friend reader end up having sex you can add some of your own ideas in their to I don't mindddd

BABY this took a bit because i got high and then i got horny. i hope you like it!

“should we talk about it?”

pairing: eddie munson x fem!reader

warnings: smut, oral male and female receiving

summary: you stole your best friends shirt and he catches you doing something you’re not proud of.

you’re not necessarily proud of what you’re doing but it certainly doesn’t stop you. you laid on your bed nude except for your best friend’s metallica shirt. he’d worn it at his last show and you’d snatched it right off his bedroom floor the same night.

you can’t remember when your crush on eddie went from ‘he has the prettiest eyes i’ve ever seen’ to ‘fuck me daddy’ but your poor clit was the one being punished. the amount of times you’ve found yourself in the same position imagining him just holding you down and fucking the life out of you was getting embarrassing.

your gasps are just barely muffled by the mix tape eddie had made you. you flicked your clit in time with the music wondering if eddie would do the same.

the shirt smelled still smelled like him. you pull it up to your nose, not caring about exposing yourself since you’re the only one home. you inhale the scent of sweat, cheap beer and cigarettes. his cologne had almost worn off but you can’t still catch whiffs of the spiciness.

“what the fuck?”

you freeze, shirt in your face and fingers on your clit. you were supposed to be home alone.

“what the fuck?” eddie is standing in your doorway when you finally peek out from behind the shirt. he looks like the cat that’s just gotten the canary.

“hey,” you pull the shirt down immediately to cover yourself. “what are you doing here?”

“ah,” he rubs the back of his neck awkwardly but his smile never falters. “just enjoying the show.”

you stare at him for a moment, way more embarrassed than turned on now. “i’m just gonna go kill myself.”

eddie laughs boisterously. “you could but i’d be very sad.”

you groan and pull your blanket up over your face.

“you know,” he starts as he walks over to the bed. “i was wondering where that shirt went.”

“oh my god just take it so i can die in peace.”

he laughs again goddamn him. “you can keep it. it looks better on your anyways.”

“you’re not mad?” you ask sheepish over the top of the blanket. he reaches out and pulls the blanket away. you sit still as he takes you in wearing his shirt, still flushed from your previous activities.

“quite the opposite really.” you hazard a glance downward and notice he’s hard in his pants.

your brain went a little fuzzy and your core ached. your mouth drops open, panting a little. eddie’s watching your face with excitement.

“do you-“ he cuts you off with his lips pressed to yours. his warm hands coming to rest of your face and neck. you’re kissing him back eagerly, clutching at his shirt to pull him closer.

“so i didn’t read this wrong?” he asks attempting to move on top of you. you take advantage of him being off balance and pull him onto the bed. quickly you climb on top of him.

“nope.” you giggle leaning down to kiss him again. his hands grip your hips, grinding you down on him. you moan into his mouth.

“should we talk about this?” you ask pulling your (his) shirt over your head.

he stares at you dumbfounded. “you can’t ask me a question and then show me your tits that’s not fair.”

eddie’s nimble fingers dance up your hips, stomach to just under your breasts. you wait with baited breath as his thumbs rub over your nipples.

“eddie,” you grind down again, bare pussy against his jeans. your dreams were literally coming true, it was almost overwhelming. “can i blow you?”

“fuck yes!” he exclaims giddily. he helps you shimmy him out of his jeans and shirt leaving him in just his boxers. you’re sitting between his legs, eyes locked on the outline of his cock.

you trace your nails down his happy trail and he shivers underneath you. you bury your nose in the coarse hairs, it smells like his shirt. if this was a dream you didn’t want to wake up.

you suck a bruise into the side of his hip just because you can. eddie’s watching you with wrapped attention like he can’t believe it either.

finally you pull down the waist band of his boxers. his thick cock springs free. you try not to stare but it’s the prettiest dick you’ve ever seen. it’s warm and heavy in your hand. you close your eyes and try to commit the feeling to memory.

eddie ruts up against you hand and you take it as your queue to stop fucking around. you ease your fist up to the head of his cock to spread the precum with your thumb. his face contorts as he groans you name.

slowly you lick the tip, just kitten licks that leave him panting and begging. you wish you had turned down the music so you could hear him better.

sucking the head into your mouth he loses it and tries to buck up. you’re able to avoid choking or biting him by pulling off. he’s apologizing profusely but you just push his hips down.

“try and stay still.” you smile at him sweetly before engulfing him again. you go slow to keep him steady, but also to try and commit every moment of this to memory for later.

eddie is thick in your mouth and throat. drool pools at your lips which helps to ease in the slide of your hand. you feel empty as you think about him filling you, stretching you full. you can’t help but moan. his balls are heavy in your hand as you squeeze gently.

he’s babbling praise under you, one hand in your hair and one clutched in the sheets. he’s not holding you down, but the way his fingers keep tightening you think he may be close.

he spills with a shout, down your throat. you suck down every drop until he’s trying to pull you off. you sit up, beaming with pride as he catches his breath.

“wow,” he lets out a breathy laugh. “that was…awesome.”

you giggle. “should we talk about it?”

“did you cum?” he asks sitting up in his elbows.

“no.”

“ok then.” eddie lays back down and pats his cheek. “hop on and we’ll talk after.”

you laugh because the situation really is silly but you’re also giddy as you scooch up his body.

“you’re fucking soaked.” he gasps as you hover above his face. he yanks you down quickly and all your weight goes onto him. he moans loudly, tongue dipping between your folds.

eddie laps at you, kisses, sucks before driving his tongue inside. you’re gasping above him, riding his face. clit grinding into his nose.

your thighs were already shaking in pleasure. both your hands buried deep in his hair. he’s moaning into your pussy as you pull.

“fuck, eddie,” you cry feeling your orgasm bubble in your stomach. his fingers dug into your thighs pushing you over the edge. your release blurs your vision and makes your head go fuzzy. he helps you off of him and makes room for you to lay down next to him.

“i think you squirted.” eddie says after a few moments. you’re jaw drops as you notice him drenched down his chest. “that’s the hottest thing ever.”

“i,” you watch him grab his metallica shirt from where you discarded it to wipe off his face. “i’ve never done that before.”

eddie groans loudly. “that’s even hotter.”

you lean in to kiss him, happy when he reciprocates. the kiss is soft and sweet, sometime more akin to a first kiss.

“should we talk about it?” you ask trying to hold back a yawn.

“we can later.” he pulls the covers up over the both of you. “how about a nap first?”

“ok, that sounds good.” you nod snuggling into his chest.

“goodnight babe.” he pressed a kiss to your forehead. you feel your heart skip a beet. “sweet dreams.”

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson x reader smut #eddie munson smut #mxnson13

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ofj-art · 2 years

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i actually think kyubey isn't inherently a bad guy. he doesn't have feelings, he was made for one purpose only: to save the universe. its not really his fault, that he doesn't know any better. and in the end, its for a nobel cause. just my two cents tho. i still think the "real" antagonist is homura, because of her selfish actions. don't get me wrong, i love the relation between homura and madoka, and wanna rip that little cat-looking-shit apart with my own two hands. but i just wanted to share a different spin on how to view the anime.

Ohohohoho Madoka opinions I see, don’t mind if I give my own take here. >:3c

I say this with a respect, because we’re all allowed to form our own opinions on media and such, but as someone who’s recently been gettin pretty damn into analyzing the series + rebellion, I can’t help but wholly disagree.

Starting off with Kyubey you gotta ask,

What makes someone a bad person? Their intent? Or their actions?

You’re right that Kyubey doesn’t possess emotions and their ultimate goal is to generate enough energy to sustain a universe being eaten by entropy. And I’ve seen several times before people feeling sympathy for Kyubey or thinking really he isn’t all that evil because the magical girls agreed to his contract.

But I think this falls exactly for the trap of his character.

He’s introduced in a way that is supposed to invoke sympathy, he’s hurt and running from Homura. He takes up the role of magical animal companion who reaches out to the series protagonists of magical girl shows to pull them into the fantastical world and plot. He is an allusion or stand in precisely for those characters. Of whom are entirely friendly and on the side of the protagonists. His appearance is disarming and cute, although a bit uncanny and unsettling the longer you stick around.

Kyubey doesn’t see himself or his kind as the bad guys, because why would he? He’s helping save the universe! And well, the girls agreed to this destiny, right?

But that’s an obfuscation of the truth.

Kyubey is manipulative and untrustworthy. He specifically targets the girls when they are at their most vulnerable. We’re introduced in a lighthearted tone enough, following Mami around as the girls consider making a contract. Mami tells her story and it indicates it was making a contract or literally death for her. She is without a family and lives alone, she entirely lacks a support network, because of this, despite only being a year older than the other girls, she puts on a more mature and put together persona.

She knows this life is dangerous but desires companionship and allies. She’s a victim of this system as much as the others, and once she dies a reality of magical girlhood is faced head on. There’s no denying or sugar coating it, and the whimsical cover of the nature of magical girls gets stripped away.

I’ve heard people say Madoka is indecisive in the series but I strongly disagree. Because it’s clear in her behavior that she abandons the idea of becoming a magical girl after the death of Mami. She has people she loves and can’t leave behind, she places her notebook in Mami’s empty apartment and asks for her forgiveness.

However, Kyubey hasn’t left. He is still stalking the girls. And each time they are presented with an option to make a contract there is a clear pattern. They are vulnerable, they are powerless, and they are desperate.

For the rest of the series Madoka is approached when she is stuck and her heart is breaking for others, true to her giving nature. She wouldn’t even be involved in the world of magical girls again if not for her best friend becoming one.

Kyubey tries repeatedly to take advantage of Madoka’s desperation and heart break for her friends, promising her power to stop all these bad things- if she just agrees. But it isn’t a bad handful of events- these are the specific consequences of a malicious system that Kyubey and his kind have intentionally constructed to trap innocent young girls and drive them into despair.

Sayaka makes a deal after seeing Kyosuke in extreme distress, she decides this is a noble sacrifice. She is unaware of Mami’s appearance being a front to the vulnerable girl that she is, because Mami only showed her vulnerability to Madoka. Because of that she holds herself up to this impossible standard of a courageous and pure hearted magical girl who fights for justice. And every time she fails to live up to that she severely beats herself up, until she’s caught into a spiral the system of being a magical girl is supposed to invoke. Helplessness.

Magical Girlhood is helplessness that lures young girls in with a promise of agency, when that couldn’t be farther from the truth. If you become a MG you are promised power and freedom and a wish, whatever your heart desires. It’s dangerous but don’t worry, it’s a noble cause, right?

But its purpose is to drive these girls into becoming witches. Kyubey purposefully isolates them, approaches them at their most vulnerable. He pits magical girls against one another, he lets them fight because the more they suffer the better it is for him- and if Madoka feels so helpless watching them, well, he has the cure. He speaks with a subtle manipulation, making the girls feel special, placing guilt or doubt in their minds to drive them to conclusions her wants them to arrive to, makes himself seem without accountability for what transpires.

Not to mention he very intentionally hides imperative information from ALL magical girls. About the truth of their soul contract. Absolutely none of these girls can give proper consent to the contract because he is shielding them from the full truth of it. That this is a death sentence, that all magical girls share a destiny of death. Or, in his real intent, a fate much worse than death. Becoming a witch, a physical manifestation of all of your emotional anguish, trapped in a prison of your own worst, torturous feelings. To be executed by the hands of another naive girl.

And even if he was entirely honest these girls still could not consent. Not when he targets them while under emotional duress to twist their arms into making a deal, and most of all not when these are children. Tweens and teens. Is Kyubey a bad person while he sacrifices girl after girl to the altar, while they don’t even know they’ve signed a pact to their woefully premature deaths?

There’s several allusions in the series directly to Faust, a tale specifically about making a deal with the devil. And even if Kyubey may lack empathy inherently, that apparently doesn’t stop him from being arrogant. He looks down at the girls for being creatures of emotion. He compares them to livestock. He believes he is 100% justified in lying and coercing these girls. But in what world would that make anything he did any less cruel and underhanded?

Is he absolved of being a bad person because he believes he’s doing the right thing? Is that not what most all people in the world who commit heinous acts believe? That somehow, someway, they are in the right?

I believe fully that lacking empathy does not make anyone or thing incapable of expressing compassion. Kyubey and his kind have been observing humanity for centuries, they’ve had direct access to the same kinds of knowledge as humanity, witness to the same experiences. If that isn’t enough for Kyubey to know better I don’t know what is.

But Kyubey only sees these girls as disposable fodder, and any suffering they have on the way down is a positive for his ends.

Onto Homura.

Homura, by all means, is the protagonist of PMMM. Not initially, and not the only one, but definitely a primary one. The entire story is wrapped around the consequences of her quest to save Madoka’s life, and ultimately in Rebellion we are brought to the fulfillment of her arc from her POV.

It’s interesting you bring up selfish actions, because I feel like the balance between selfless and selfishness is a theme in PMMM. And like the series shows in its other nuanced portrayals, this isn’t a black or white game.

Sayaka, for example. We get to see her full experience as a magical girl, she is the quintessential magical girl experience- hopeful start to despairing end. She makes her wish to help the boy she cares for heal, something selfless of her to do. But she also has her own wishes that this will make him favor her in some way. Kyubey deliberately guilt trips her about this, and as her opinion of herself lowers and lowers she casts herself into a view of cowardice and selfishness.

To her, especially operating under the noble ideal she has constructed out her own desires for doing good, for purpose, and Mami’s incomplete legacy, to be selfless is to be utter devoted to her cause. It is a bar she feels she has been failing to meet because she’s imperfect, she’s flawed and she grows tired and bitter and sad.

She is confronted with someone who directly contradicts her ideology, Kyoko, and initially this drives her to a rage. This was another reality of magical girlhood she was faced with, the cutthroat nature of survival, but she instead only saw a disrespect to the remaining echo of magical girlhood as justice and mystique that her time with Mami had painted. But then Kyoko opens up to her and she realizes she isn’t some evil person, it isn’t black and white.

Kyoko is selfish. She puts herself first always, or at least she’s resolved to. This is a direct influence of her experience with her father, with her own experience of selflessness- and how bitterly it ended. But like how complete selflessness is an unachievable ideal, her own selfishness is a coping mechanism- a survival technique. She admires and empathizes with Sayaka and reaches out to her, attempting to halt her rapid downward spiral. But Sayaka rejects this, because to her she’s determined complete selflessness is the only honest and good path. She continues to see in black and white anyway, her literally lowest point is portrayed in black and white.

With her inability to prioritize herself or spare herself kindness it kills her. But in turn her heartfelt desire for good and justice inspires Kyoko, and her final act is an entirely selfless one meant for Sayaka, the girl who dedicated on giving to everyone but herself. She sacrifices herself to give Sayaka peace and reach out to her, to comfort her tormented soul. In her final moments she prays, because deep down she started fighting for the same reasons Sayaka did.

All of the magical girls fight for good, all of them fight to be selfless. But it is inherently a losing battle because they are trapped within a predatory system. Kyoko adapted to survive, and to a different extent, so did Homura.

Homura is firstly, and foremostly, extremely traumatized.

And I don’t mean this to excuse her actions but her past with the prior timelines and the trauma it instilled onto her is integral to understanding her character.

She started off very similar to Madoka. Shy, unsure, without much autonomy. She meets Madoka, who is already a magical girl, and makes her first real friend in who knows how long.

In the initial timeline things go as they probably would have if not for Mami’s death. Without the presence of the full truth of magical girlhood, Madoka, instead of being coerced, is now willing and makes a contract for herself, though her wish is still to help another (saving the life of a cat). This speaks to her loving and sacrificial nature being with her through and through, even here.

We see it in the beginning of the series, Madoka is pulled in by the allure of becoming a MG because she craves purpose and agency. Kyubey promises both, you get power, a wish, and a just cause. Madoka comes from a loving home and good friends, she becomes a magical girl selfishly for her own fulfillment. But as we saw with Sayaka, acting for yourself is not inherently a bad thing at all. Or it would be a good thing here, if not for the underlying reality she is unaware she agreed to.

But despite Homura not becoming a magical girl in the first timeline until the end, they become friends. They care for one another, and witnessing Madoka sacrifice herself Homura is overcome with grief and sorrow.

And who else would that kind of vulnerability and desperation summon but Kyubey himself- with his offer.

So Homura gives up her soul to save Madoka’s life. She wakes up and starts the cycle over, confident she can now help her friend. They rebefriend one another, and she trains her powers. She’s still meek and unsure, but is determined and keeps pushing to improve, much to the love and support of her best friend.

That is until she dies once more. And then again. And again. And again.

Over and over Homura has relieved this month trying so hard to save the person she cares for. Initially she immediately informs everyone when she learns of the dark truth of the nature of witches and magical girls. This ends in disaster. She sees the girls around her die again and again, and always in the end, so does Madoka.

When we see Homura in the beginning of the series she is cold and distant. And we see in her recollection how much pain this causes her. But she has devoted herself entirely to saving Madoka’s life, no matter the cost.

Homura is not cold because she is villainous or uncaring, it is because it is necessity. She has done everything she can to strip herself of weakness to survive, like Mami, like Kyoko, like Sayaka. Shoving down her inner vulnerability to keep pushing forward to save Madoka.

You could say her actions are selfish because she will do whatever it takes to achieve her goal, but her goal is literally entirely selfless. She has seen Madoka cry and suffer and die over and over. The one person who has been unquestionably kind to her and everyone she loves.

Homura isn’t just letting the fates of the others become numb to her because she wants to, we see her try to stop Mami from engaging with Charlotte to the point Mami ties her up to stop her from intervening. She’s seen Sayaka fall into despair before and she knows there’s no use in stopping her progression. She extends her allyship and tries to cooperate with Kyoko to take Walpurgisnacht down. But her main priority will always be to save the person she loves.

And what she sacrifices the most to do this is herself. Trial after trial she has pushed herself forward because failure, because despair, meant letting Madoka die. Not just die, but be sealed to this horrible fate where you are doomed to suffer. Homura knows what becomes of magical girls, she has literally seen Madoka become a witch.

She’s also nearly given up, asked Madoka to become a witch with her, stay by each other’s sides. But Madoka wouldn’t let her give up, she saved her and asked her to go back in time. Madoka asks her to stop her from becoming a magical girl. So she won’t be doomed to suffer like this. And after promising, Homura has to end her life before she can become a witch in the absolute most heart wrenching scene I have ever witnessed- her scream of agony gives me chills.

But arguably, just as selfishness and selflessness cannot be cast in a black and white for the other characters you cannot do so with Homura. She is not just operating on her own desires or wishes but Madoka’s as well. She is endlessly putting herself in harm’s way to do so. And there are plenty of reflections in Madoka’s and Homura’s characters, but here lies an important difference.

Background, something you wouldn’t even think much about on Homura’s part.

Homura does not value herself, she is given literally no indication of family, was in the hospital facing a feeling of isolation and helplessness for who knows how long, and previously went to a Catholic school- assumably being raised Catholic.

Whereas Madoka doesn’t value herself much for not feeling that she is doing enough for others, she is still coming from a loving home and a proper support system. She wants agency, confidence, passion, and purpose. Things all exemplary in her mother that she looks up to. She wants to find something she can dedicate herself to and find meaning and identity in that.

Homura is alone. She does not value herself because she does not see herself as capable. She is given value through Madoka’s kindness and when that is torn away and she wishes to save her friend, that’s when she becomes a magical girl. Not even for herself, as Madoka initially had.

When Homura becomes more capable it isn’t through a process of learning to be more confident in herself or trusting her capabilities. Perhaps for a short moment as she gets her footing. But as the cycle repeats her strength is drawn from necessity, from a necessary adaptation for survival. She clearly thinks very little of herself. She even distances herself entirely from Madoka despite the pain this causes her because she needs to dedicate herself to finishing this cycle once and for all. She is not operating on making herself happy, and every time she fails she spares herself no kindness.

But Madoka wouldn’t want that for her, because she sees her heart. That she’s a gentle girl who cares a lot for the people she loves, for Madoka. She’s been transformed over the series from her trauma, tenfold to the other girls because of the sheer amount of cycles she has lived.

Homura knows more than anyone else that the only way to survive this cruel system is to work as coldly and efficiently as possible. Because kindness gets you killed, and Madoka is kind, and it killed her in every single timeline before. Every single one.

I think people often forget about the scene in Rebellion in the field. Homura has broken down into tears faced with the reality she was left with without Madoka. When Madoka ascended she was left entirely alone in her grief. Not only did no one know her traumas, but no one knew Madoka, the entire reason she dedicated herself to her mission. A mission she failed. She knew Madoka’s sacrifice was noble, but she was left entirely alone in a world where her best friend was worse than dead and no one remembered her.

Homura brings up how at some point she doubted herself and wondered if she made it all up. The absolute pain of doubting your reality in such a way, the isolation of her experience, the grief and loss. No wonder she ultimately fell to despair.

But Madoka comforts her, she holds her close and braids her hair, as though she’s trying to rebuild Homura back into the girl she was before all of this strife transformed her. She tells Homura that she would never leave her loved ones, and to be away from everyone would make her incredibly sad.

And Homura’s eyes go wide and hair comes undone as she realizes this. A wash of emotion, of relief to hear her affirm this and a feeling of… something else.

If you think about the circumstances of Madoka’s sacrifice, she does it when Homura is facing death. Her family is in danger from the witch appearing as a storm, her friends are all dead. Madoka uses her karmic destiny to make the ultimate sacrifice, the ultimate act of selflessness.

But there is no pure selflessness. What she did was unequivocally good, good for all magical girls. Even Homura spent her time after her ascension trying to honor Madoka’s wish. But in it’s selflessness it erased the happiness and future of Madoka. Her kindness spread so much good but at the sacrifice of herself. Not just dying, but a fate far worse than death.

And Homura has done this over and over again, she’s had Madoka make her promise to stop her from becoming a magical girl before. She has only ever been fighting for a world where Madoka can be safe and happy. And hearing this admission, notably within the labyrinth- with Madoka’s memories gone and the constructed circumstances of all the girls peacefully being magical girls- the Madoka telling her this is the Madoka most resembling the girl she knew in the first timeline.

And she is telling her that doing something as drastic as she did would make her unhappy.

I think there is of course something to be said about Homura pulling her down from Heaven. That she acted without Madoka’s consent, forcefully tearing her apart and erasing her memory to give her a peaceful life. She’s trapped between dishonoring Madoka’s wishes and sacrifice, while simultaneously acting on Madoka’s wishes and well being. But she has been operating on these cycles for so long- why would this time be any different. Another failure of a timeline, Madoka is still suffering, so she has to start over anew.

And I think her self perception is important in her portrayal as demonic. She thinks extremely little of herself, and not only that, but again, was raised Catholic. In the film we see the rooftop of the middle school and among the many small changes within the labyrinth we see it now resembles a cathedral. There are many religious themes, the teacher opens speaking on the second coming, about the end of the world. Madoka is literally a god, Homura kneels down and hangs off the feet of her statue.

Homura has been raised in a religion that teaches of sin and guilt and she is, for one, in love with another girl. She has been strung along by fate again and again, trapped within it. She has been taught to supplicate herself before god but now seeks to rebel against such.

Her self actualization is once again a product of her trauma. She acts in a twist of selfishness and selflessness. She labels herself as demonic, she fails to recognize her own sacrifices or value. She imparts vindictive wrath onto Kyubey and Kyubey alone, she allows all the other girls to live happily. She even separates herself yet again from Madoka, in a world she can control she does not force them to be close. She would not do that, and thinks too little of herself now, and determines rather that they shall end up enemies.

Homura is not happy at the end of rebellion. She’s alone. She has got her way but it is distorted, not because of her inherent character but a reflection of her experiences, of her self perception. We are left in a delicate state of a universe, waiting for Madoka to awaken once again. But in the meantime, she’s given opportunity to live a normal life.

I’d say by the end of Rebellion Homura is antagonistic by her own choice and action. But seeing the scene in the field, knowing the full context of her experiences. Despite regarding herself as evil I don’t think that she is, and in the upcoming movie I don’t think Madoka will think she is either. She even tried to kill herself in her witch form before Madoka and their friends eventually free them from Kyubey’s trap.

The self empowerment she does seem to project comes from her rebellion against fate, her feeling of satisfaction to no longer be trapped within it, to force Kyubey to take the burden of all the curses in the world. She finally has agency after being trapped in helplessness for so long. She was helpless before being a magical girl, and even more afterwards, trapped to the whims of fate. But now she has ripped herself free of it. But she doesn’t at all seem actually happy, we’ve seen her actually happy, and this isn’t it. And if this is her fate, it is, among the many tale of many other magical girls, a tragedy.

At least that’s my perspective/analysis. There’s more I could get into but this is long enough. Like I said, we’re all allowed to have our own opinions, I’m just trying to inform mine from what I interpret from my reading of the text. If anyone has actually read this all, thank you, and I’d love to hear your own opinions or takes!

#pmmm #pmmm spoilers #puella magi madoka magica #madoka kaname #homura akemi #analysis #kyubey #sayaka miki #kyoko sakura #mami tomoe #long post

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aromanticannibal · 2 years

Text

mha characters physical headcanons (does that even make sense idk im french). this is in absolutely no order im just popping these up as I go

shouto is blind on his burnt side, the good ol headcanon. his eyes is a very dull blue

shinsou has a scar across his face from forster parents putting muzzles on him

bakugou is hard of hearing

aizawa has a single tattoo and it's a cat sleeping on a cloud

mic has a shit ton of tattoos including but not limited to : a matching tattoo of a cat meowing on a cloud, a lot of clouds, aizawa's goggles and capture weapon, music notes and partitions of his favorite songs, his own hero name, etc

midnight is tall as shit, shes taller than aizawa. mic is only 1cm taller than her but she wears heels all the time so she's still taller. she loves to tease people about it

I know it's just a funky thing horikoshi does to his characters sometimes but shinsou is actually one of the only people in the show to have white pupils. people's eyes mimic his pupils when shinsou brainwashes them.

aizawas hair is really thick and curly, but he takes terrible care of it.

on the topic of aizawas hair, sometimes it floats a bit when he's flustered, surprised, angry, excited etc

shinsou's hair just does that. it stands on its own and it's terrible and shinsou used to hate it but he comforts himself thinking it kinda looks like aizawas.

midoriya and mina are blasian i am right

mina has vitiligo

kaminari has a bunch of lighting shaped scars. also he's south asian and brown skinned because I said so

this is literally just how I edit hori's sketches now lmao (cough cough @lunejump)

iidas legs are fucking covered in scars and he refuses to say how he for them

ochako's cheeks are naturally really pink.

ochako's has chubby muscle dad bod vibe kinda. she'll beat the shit out of you anyway. she's also super small and wears discreet platform shoes sometimes

tsuyu's skin is just straight up green. I really just want her to be more frog like lmao. she got frog eyes too. toad skin in places with the little bumps and shit. also she's autistic I KNOW I SAID PHYSICAL HEADCANONS BUT SHH

dabi desperately needs glasses. he also has terrible dry eye because of the whole no tear duct situation, so in general he just doesn't see shit. he pays a lot fo attention to noise because of that.

dabi's hair is very fluffy and thick naturally, but dying it (+yknow the burning) made it really damaged (its why it's spikier than when he was young)

toga has a bunch of vampire features, notably : glowing eyes, pointy ears, the good ol' fangs, naturally sharp nails, pale ass skin from being sensible to sunlight, etc. she really likes garlic tho dont get her wrong

toga also got tattoos at some point, not a lot tho cuz she started only a bit after joining the league. she has : a lot of hearts, a bat, couple of knifes, "stainy <3" (she did this one by herself so it's a bit wobbly). she wants to get tattoos that ressemble her friends from the league, especially for twice, magne, dabi and shiggy.

mic has piercings. obviously. he has nipple piercings (listen im just a man), a nose ring (he doesn't wear it when doing hero work), a bunch of ear piercings, and an eyebrow one.

when they were in high school, mic got aizawa to get snake bites. aizawa stopped wearing them somewhere in his 20s so they closed back, and mic is constantly trying to get him to get them redone.

midnight prolly has matching nipple piercings with mic honestly they'd do that

shigaraki's hair is surprisingly soft because kurogiri makes him take care of it. when kurogiri gets arrested, his hair starts to get more tangled because no one brushes it anymore.

fuyumi, rei and dabi have the same hair type (wavy, thick fluffy hair)

shinsou stays pretty skinny no matter how much he muscles up. he has a fast metabolism and struggles to take on weight

aizawa is so fucking hairy its terrible

mic's mustache is like that because it's the only thing he manages to grow

mic's hair is like the opposite of aizawa's. it's straight and stringy, and its pretty damaged despite mic's efforts to take care of it because of all the hair gel

bakugou has heavy acne on his face and back, which is why he takes very good care of his skin. he doesn't really care if people think it's ugly, he just doesnt want it to hurt like a bitch

hagakure is really pale because the sun technically never really touches her skin. her eyes and hair are a weird pale color for a similar reason. not like anyone sees it much though.

MOMO IS TRANS MOMO IS TRANS I AM RIGHT. she was able to transition early on thanks to her parents acceptance and money.

momo is a bit chubby and taller than most of the boys in the class. she's never shy about eating a lot, especially since its what makes her quirk work, and she tends to get really hungry after using it a lot.

jirou often gets overwhelmed because of how much she can hear. think of dolores from encanto she can hear a lot.

her earjacks are really sensible too, but she doesn't really have anything to protect them.

jirou's irises are a very bright red.

hatsume is blasian, she has pink dreads

her arms are pretty muscly from working a lot on heavy stuff. she also has a lot of different scars on her hands and some on her face from her lack of care for safety

concerning shouto, the carpet does match the drapes. he isn't that hairy tho.

shouto has a couple of burn and frostbite scars on his arms from training too much. the burn ones are older, since he didn't use his flames for a long time.

shinsou is the type of pale thats so pale you can kinda see veins under the skin. he calls himself a corpse pretty often. it's also why his eyebags are so visible.

mirko is probably albino tbh (this is 100% inspired by that one edit)

while bakugou's palms are always super hot and sweaty, midoriya's are very cold for no reason.

midoriya bites his nails and the skin around them, often 'til it bleeds, so his fingers are. in a state (im just calling myself out at this point lmao)

mic has heterochromia and is hard of hearing

all might's eyes weren't blue before he got ofa. I like to think ofa modifies the user's appearance a bit, notably with the eyes. all might's eyes changed so luch because he went from no quirk to mastering ofa.

midoriya's eyes are very green naturally but when he uses ofa a lot, there's a blue tint as well (think the overhaul fight)

kirishima's hair must be so fucking damaged man. his hair is naturally black but he dyes it a very bright color, so he probably needs to bleach it a lot. it's probably permanent dye too since he wants to keep it like that, and he probably dyes his roots often too. plus the hair gel. he probably went through the elastic hair pain

bakugou's eyes are an orangey red, while kirishima's are blood red.

similar to all might and midoriya, aoyama's eyes became that bright sparkly blue when he got gifted his quirk. they're probably kinda glittery looking. his eyes were probably brown originally

kendo has stretch marks and some scars on her hands from them changing size so often. it doesn't really hurt tho.

shinsou probably had braces at some point

kaminari has a tooth gap

sero is part latino. he has brown eyes also.

sero's skin gets sticky sometimes. he hates it because people think he's dirty. It's really just a side effect of his quirk.

because I'm trypophobic I refuse to think sero has holes in his elbows. his tape is probably a sort of extension of his skin, and the weird shape in his elbows are here to help produce the thing.

denki has an eyebrow piercing

shinsou's eyes glow slightly when he's using his quirk, but it's not that noticeable.

aizawa's eyes glow yellow (like in the manga because I love yellow). otherwise his irises are completely black. it's unnerving

aizawa actually isnt that silent when he speaks, unless he's trying to. he has a big voice.

mic is actually very silent when he wants to because he's used to controlling the volume of his voice. also, he's very good at doing weird shit with his voice.

similarly, shinsou is very good at mimicking voices and sounds. he struggles a bit with high voices because his voice is naturally deep, but he's good at imitating birds and cats. he can purr also because I said so.

im losing inspiration unfortunately. feel free to share ur headcanons in the tags or in reblogs (even if they go against mine it's fine lmao). have a good day

#mha #bnha #my hero academia #boku no hero acedamia #mha headcanons #bnha headcannons #midoriya izuku #bakugo katsuki #shinso hitoshi #present mic #ochaco uraraka

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mikki-does-simp · 1 year

Text

Words aren't worth shit. (Kuroiro Shihai x GN!reader)

surprise you guys, i came back from my grave for the kajillionth time! frankly, i'm slightly sick of interacting with almost of the MHA fandom, but my love for 1B seems to never ever waver, so i'll try my very best to stick to more longform fanfiction and post more-often so that the people who deserve it have actual content.

A/N: i wrote this in literally two adjacent blocks starting at 1AM and ending around 5 AM with a sleep from 4-4:30, so forgive any flow inconsistences or grammar/spelling mistakes because i say fuck the beta

edit: actually never mind next time i will appreciate a beta run more i left so many spaces that were just- *unfilled*

socially awkward kuroiro AND tactical manipulator kuroiro CAN co-exist, it just has to be written in a very specific way, though. despite that, with you, he feels like a cat covered in wet spaghetti, but like, in a good way.

Who the hell came up with the saying "a picture is worth a thousand words"? Or hell, who altered it to have it to relate an action? Kuroiro didn't really seem to convince himself of it, no matter how hard he tried. It wasn't like he was indifferent to works of art- after all, he considered himself a sort of artistic guy... but when it came to a flash, a picture in his mind, a memory- usually it only took up about thirteen words in his mind. He considered himself a writer. Dare he say a poet. He kept piles upon piles of journals of his writing, and where people could not suffice, pen and paper were his greatest confidants. As much as he liked pencils, pens were just- ironically more artistic; even if he had to scribble at the paper if he misspelled a word or accidentally placed the lettering way too close.

He clenched a few papers between his hands, skimming over the writing as he stood in wait for what might be a pinnacle moment of his life. There were too many mistakes in his mind- so many scribbles it seemed like a quarter of each page was just a section or a word, blacked out in ink. He sighed, inwardly admitting that staying up until two am in the morning writing this was a terrible idea it's not like the author is doing the EXACT same thing down to the hour, but he could just not wait. Thoughts seemed to be always running through his head at light speed, from dawn to dusk and in between his dreams like a sickness of his. This is when he started to pace around with the pages in his hand, having to really mentally prepare himself for what he set up on what seemed to be the first impromptu thought of his entire life so far.

Kuroiro had somehow deluded himself so hard that he decided that he was going to profess his feelings for you within the next moment. Or at the very least, his fond admiration for your pieces, large or small that create the entire puzzle. He had slipped a piece of plain notebook paper under your door, even; that's how casual he tried to seem about it, as it could mean a lot of different things under different connotations if you ask someone to meet you. It wasn't a fancy sort of greeting or letter like he would have spent countless hours imagining he would, but it would make due. His pen and paper were becoming restless in it's own right, sick of hearing the same thought in a different variant over and over and over again. He had decided to meet you about fifteen minutes before the dormitory curfew, as to both make it less inconvenient for you and to make sure he had an escape route if anything went wrong. Yet again, his mind seems to be in a race with everything around it, dreaming up every possibility. Every triumph, every pitfall. The churns in his stomach grew more intense as he began to doubt himself,

It didn't take too long for you to meet him, with the casually dressed notebook paper folded in one of your hands. You pocketed it, then closed the gap of distance between you and Kuroiro, standing in front of him with a curious look to the papers in his hand- and how he looked like how he was going to vomit up a hairball. It raised some eyebrows, sure; but you seemed to understand his nature- his mannerisms, his idiosyncrasies: you seemed to accept them as they were, with no complaints otherwise about who he was. Human. A breath of fresh air for a guy like him, really. He didn't even greet you properly for a moment, already seeming to clam up, enamored by your beauty. It took a couple seconds for him to actually remember why he brought the two of you here- but when he did, he slowly looked to the writing in front of him, starting to read it out. Unfortunately for you, it was incredibly difficult to decipher what he was actually saying- he used so many elusive synonyms that the average person wouldn't be familiar with in terms of linguistics, and he would often go back to read a part if he messed it up, or pause for a moment to try and figure out what he was trying to say himself. The more and more he talked, the more Kuroiro realized this the sole brainless idea he had in a very long time- at least in his book, so out of some sort of shame, he started getting quieter as he read. His posture crumpled up more than it was before, and he was mumbling so badly, that it was even hard for him to hear the words that were spewing out of his mouth as he tried to read back He dropped the small stack of papers, much to your confusion; then, much to his incredible embarrassment, he felt his legs start to buckle despite himself as he kneeled to the floor, covering his face with his hands and starting to mumble a little louder about how incredibly awkward this situation was and that you should just forget it ever happened. He couldn't anymore, everything seemed to catch up to him in his incredulity...

You kneeled down to the floor with him, starting to pick up the papers for him. His hand reflexively moved to instantly snatch the papers from you- to hide away and confide yet again in the caverns of pen and paper- but he stops himself, opting to ball his hand into a fist to do so as he starts on an attempt to quell his mild panicked breathing. He felt so... soppy. Dare he say even- pathetic in a way. It took a moment, but he eventually found the strength to look you in the eye, and they lock, the watercolor to his monochrome. You pick up the rest of the pages, and even if it is incredibly messy and out of order, you remember how he reached to grab them from you, and although it confused you on why he would do that, you respected him too much to pry; in a state where he was cracking on all sides of a sphere, where he looked so oddly vulnerable. If you weren't too preoccupied with being concerned about the way he was acting, it would have felt good, about how he seemed to trust you being within this state

"Hey..." you interjected, slowly starting to offer both your held papers; and your free outstretched hand over to Kuroiro, "Take the time you need. You'll find a way to say what you need to say... and I'll flag you down with signals so it won't- get lost within the waters."

You had sort of an idea what was happening- but you could ask for more context later, as Kuroiro seemed a little too nervewracked to answer your questions. He took the both of you off guard, as he shuffled a little closer, his own arms beginning to outstretch as he simply took your simple outstretched gesture to wrap his arms around you in a shakey but gentle embrace. In that very moment, he couldn't believe it but... no words could describe what he felt. He almost lost himself in trying to figure it out, but at the same time, you quelled the tide all the same as you held each-other there.

#mha 1b #bhna x reader #class 1b #mha #bhna #shihai kuroiro #x reader fluff #fanfic #writing #x reader #bhna fanfiction #bhna imagine #mikki fluffpost

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