#cat form alcor

[the-real-couchrat]

Doodle dump bc I wanted to post something part two (part one here)

Alcor outfit doodles, including my Clown Alcor, and Magical Girl Alcor! (Also him at a mermaid bar (at an embassy) mentioned in chapter two of RB, using @that-ghosts-art mermaid Dipper design) also an Off-Model Alcor from TBOB

Quarantine AU dipper (based on Giving up, Giving in by @toothpastecanyon )

More Clown Alcor

(The ballon was going to be human intestines but I forgot)

I think it’d be cool if Lucy Ann and Dipper sometimes hang out in their animal forms to be less noticeable. I don’t know how TAU vampires work, but for now I’m gonna say that Lucy Ann can only turn into a (vampire) bat, while Dipper’s most common animal forms are a cat, a crow or a raven, and maybe a bat when spending time with Lucy Ann.

I made Alcor a fruit bat (a flying fox specifically) for a few reasons

He’s fruity

They’re cute

Big and scary to a lot of people

Bigger than Lucy Ann’s bat form (I want her to be able to ride on his back)

Dark with golden-ey colors

[anxi-aashi]

high seas and gnoses (pt 1)

current chapter | next chapter

tartaglia x gn!reader

words: 1.9k

warnings: cursing, scary tagtag, thats pretty much it tbh

summary: somewhere out there is a dragon that thinks you stole its treasure. who better to help you return it than a pirate captain with an addiction to adrenaline?

a/n: this is the 1st chap of a series i came up with while watching a youtube vid on pirates of the carribean and i remembered how much those movies slapped and thought "what if i slapped genshin on this and made it even better" so here's the beginning to a pirate au you didn't ask for but I'm delivering anyways. super exited to see where this goes, i have some ideas for how its gonna work out already!! maybe smut later on but i haven't decided ;);) didn't proofread this so good luck lolololol

They came at the crack ass of dawn.

As you slept (read: tried not to throw up and embarrass yourself) on the damp floor underneath a stranger who was practically sweating through his hammock, the scout above deck screamed his warning:

Pirates. 

The crew around you burst into action as if none of them had been snoring loud enough to rival a warhorn just seconds before. A menacing alarm bell pierced the frenzy of orders that suffocated everyone below deck. What remnants of drowsiness you had were officially gone. 

Pirates. You hadn’t even been on sea for a full 24 hours and you were already being raided by pirates. They couldn’t have at least waited to board and slaughter you all until you’d had some breakfast?

The men and women of the Alcor scrambled about. Your hand flew to your trouser pocket— it was still there. With your conscience slightly eased, you grabbed the shoulder of a young girl as she rushed past you. She turned, clearly a bit irritated at your interruption; you were only a passenger, of course. You weren’t one of them. “Can you—” she began.

“What do you need me to do?” Your voice shook while you said it. You weren’t even sure if she could hear you over all the noise. But you knew if you sat still long enough, the panic would take over and devour you whole.

Her gaze softened a bit. “Follow me.”

It was in the middle of lugging a cannonball under the young girl’s instruction that you were caught.

A large hand grabbed a fistful of the back of your shirt, forcing you to drop your load. It slammed into the wood boards below you, narrowly missing your toes, and forming a little crater in the floor. 

You tried to wiggle out of the stranger’s grip. “Hey! Get the fuck—” 

A slap, and suddenly your head was turned to the side, your cheek tingling. Your jaw hung open in shock. “Stop squirming,” your captor grumbled. He was a large, heavy-set man, his face almost completely obscured by a mask and hat. 

To your left, the young girl hung over the shoulder of another pirate, dressed and built similarly to the one that handled you like a mother cat to her kitten.

The both of you were carried to the top deck and plopped unceremoniously in line with the rest of the crew. On the horizon, the sun peeked above just enough so that its rays shone directly into your eyes.

You squinted and hung your head down to let your eyes adjust. A few of the pirates muttered amongst each other while the rest carried crate after crate of food and valuables from the ship's hull. Their heavy footsteps creaked on the deck. It only made the silence of the sea that much more deafening. 

You took a deep breath. Focused on a hole in the wooden plank below you. Though you weren’t a sailor by any means, the gentle swaying of the ship managed to calm your nerves a bit.

As your eyes adjusted, your eyes settled on the wood-carved narwhal heading the massive vessel. It formed a majestic arch, its horn pointing proudly at a perfect 45-degree angle. 

Your heart sank. The relic in your pocket suddenly felt infinitely heavier. Of course, the first pirates you ever encounter are the crew of the Childe of Abyss.

“Fantastic! Is that everyone?”

The cheery voice ripped you from your thoughts. You glanced to your left. The crow’s nest scout, Kazuha, kneeled next to you; a few people down from him, the Alcor’s captain, Beidou. She glared up at the man who stood in front of her.

At first glance he was short. He was a short man with obnoxiously orange hair that you quickly realized was natural and not dyed. But then you took in the way he leaned over Beidou, towered almost, and it dawned on you that this man was not short, the rest of the crew was just freakishly tall. 

And when Beidou aimed her angry, “Fuck you,” at the lanky ginger, it clicked that this was his crew. 

He let out a laugh that almost sounded genuine. “You’re not my type but I appreciate the compliment! Now,” he scanned over you all and placed his hands on his hips, “empty your pockets.”

“What, are the three chests of gold you dragged up not enough for you?” Beidou snarked. 

No one moved. A pirate sporting a hood and mask that covered the bottom of his face had his dagger at her throat in an instant.

The ginger chuckled and placed a hand on the man’s arm that held the dagger. Slowly, the dagger was put away. “A bit antsy today, aren’t we?” He cocked his head. “Normally I’d love to fight this out with you, comrade, but unfortunately, I didn’t sleep too well last night. Why don’t you take a look around you instead?” 

Beidou held her glare, then glanced around at her crew. When she looked at you, a twinge of remorse appeared. 

The ginger bent down to catch her eyes. “You’re a good captain. I can tell you care for your crew. You want what’s best for them.” He straightened up and crossed his arms over his chest. “I want what’s best for mine. And I’m nothing if not thorough.”

The captain of the Abyss didn’t reiterate his command, but it went unsaid. Beidou gave a short nod, almost imperceptible if you weren’t looking for it, but it was all her crew needed.

Everyone shoved their hands in their pockets, dredging up the last of their wares for the awaiting hands in front of them. Lockets, trinkets, crumpled pieces of paper— Kazuha even produced a pendant and a blunt.

You, however, were frozen. You only had one thing in your pocket, and it was something you could most certainly not give up. 

The pirate in front of you brandished his gun at your forehead. You tensed, but kept your gaze forward. 

“Pockets,” he repeated. 

“I don’t have anything. I’m a civilian.” It was only half a lie.

He cocked the gun’s hammer.

“Ah, a stubborn one so early in the morning?” 

Your eyes flicked up to see the captain resting an elbow on his subordinate’s shoulder. It was a little too high up for it to look natural. Despite the gun to your head, you couldn’t help but let out a quiet laugh. 

The captain cocked an eyebrow. “Somethin’ funny?”

You averted your gaze and shook your head, smile fading.

He crouched down to your level. This close— without the sun as a backlight— you could see him better. An expensive-looking red earring dangling from his left ear. Freckles blooming across his face from hours spent in the sun. Eyes like the ocean; deep, dark, and holding secrets you probably didn’t want to know the answers to. 

He held out a gloved hand. 

You held his stare. You kept your hands where they were. 

He frowned, no, pouted as your defiance, then stood up. “Kill her.”

“Wait!” you blurted out. “I—” You looked to everyone surrounding you, enemy and ally, then back to the captain. He held a hand up to the man holding the gun, looking at you expectantly. 

“Can I speak with you? In private?” you asked. 

The captain sighed and looked at you. And looked. And— “Okay.”

He strutted off to the captain’s quarters without another word. 

You blinked and shot a glance at the man still holding a gun to your head. He shook his head in a way you’d only ever seen tired dads do around their rambunctious toddlers, but holstered his gun. You took that as your cue and dashed after the man who held your life in his hands. 

When you opened the door to Beidou’s quarters, the captain was waiting for you, leaning against the desk that centered the room.

The door automatically closed behind you with the motion of the ship, making you jump.

The captain watched you curiously, but the way his fingers drummed against the rim of the desk told you his patience wouldn’t last forever. 

You steeled your nerves and reached into your pocket, hesitating.

The captain huffed out a laugh. “Jeez, you really know how to up the suspense, don’t you?”

You glared at him. “I’m nervous because I know you’re probably going to think I’m crazy when I tell you what I need to. And my life quite literally depends on whether you do or not.”

He held up his hands in mock surrender, but his amused smile didn’t fade.

You pulled the relic from your pocket and showed it to him.

Amusement dropped into a blank stare, directed at the small, golden pillar in your hand. “What the fuck is that?”

You ignored him. You expected this. “Have you ever heard of the Seven Gnoses of Teyvat?” you prompted.

He snorted. “You think I've managed to live my entire life as a pirate and not know what a gnosis is?”

You rolled your eyes. “It’s a yes or no question.”

“Fine. Yes,” he amended.

“This is the Geo gnosis.”

The captain stared at you in what could only be described as bewilderment. Then a laugh bubbled out of him. His shoulders shook as he dragged a hand down his face. When his laughter subsided, he spoke. “What’s your name?”

Your eyebrows furrowed. Did this mean he was going to let you live? “(Y/N),” you replied.

“(Y/N), sweetheart, I hate to be the one to tell you, but that is a chess piece,” he concluded.

Before you could launch a tirade, he cut you short. 

“A very fancy chess piece, I will say! But, still a chess piece. You’ve been duped.” Pity was written all over his face.

You collected yourself. The last thing you needed was to piss him off while trying to convince him to keep you alive. You clutched the gnosis with an iron grip. “Don't patronize me. Whether you believe me or not, the point is, I’m not supposed to have this. And there is someone— some— the owner of this chess piece,” you spat out, “is looking for it. I’m trying to return it before they find me.”

The captain reached up to scratch behind his ear, making the red stone in the earring flicker in the dim light of the cabin. “And what does this have to do with me not killing you?”

“The owner of this… relic is very, very rich.” Not technically a lie. An estimation based on what you had read about dragons. “Personally, I just want to drop this thing off and be rid of it. Which means, if you take me where I need to go, whatever treasure we find is yours for the taking.” A lie. You had spent all you had on passage aboard the Alcor, which was now in the hands of one of the worst pirate crews in Teyvat. You would be taking at least one thing for yourself. 

The captain takes a moment to assess you. Then, “Okay.”

Again? “... Okay?”

He huffed a laugh. “What kind of pirate would I be to turn down the promise of a haul like that? This is the most interesting conversation I’ve had in months. And of course—” The captain waved a hand about flippantly— “If you’re lying, I can just kill you later.” A smile.

You gulped. Though you knew you weren’t lying, something told you this voyage wouldn’t go anywhere near as simple as he was making it out to be.

“Somethin’ wrong, sweets?” And all of a sudden he was very close to you now. 

Your eye twitched at the nickname, but you avoided his eyes, afraid they might somehow see your thoughts, and answered. “No. Sorry. Thank you… um…”

A hand reaches into your line of sight, prompting you to look up. A grin stretched across his face, revealing faint crow’s feet at the corner of his eyes. “Tartaglia,” he winked. “Welcome aboard.”

[theratlivinginyourcouchcushions]

Equivalence AU Mabel ideas!

I wanted to experiment with God!zar(?) Mabel, bc I hadn’t seen any designs for it yet. I was also going to try drawing Mabel in her super-demon-y form, (which is apparently blinding white with abyss for eyes and tiny burning pupils) but was two invested in the outfit to really lean into it.

Now for some of my headcannons!

While drawing Mabel, I started thinking about her bird wings, and what kind of traits she might have similar to animals (like dipper and cats) and then it hit me. BIRDS.

An entire class of animals characterized by their ability to DEFY GRAVITY FOR HOURS TO DAYS AT A TIME. (And the ones that don’t are pretty cool too) and I got to thinking about how cool birds are, to achieve this through nothing but MILLIONS of years of evolution. (My thoughts on this are not very organized, but I hope you get the gist.) so anyway, what cool things do birds do, and wouldn’t it be cool if Mabel did them too?

Mating dance. Since it’s pretty much canon that Mizar is still alloromantic and allosexual, wouldn’t it be goofy if she would do a funky little dance when trying to ask people out? (She definitely did this for Henry as soon as she was corporeal for him)

Roosting. Basically making nests in high places out of things she likes, probably perches in it to preen her feathers. (I originally had a similar hc for Alcor, but whatever, they’re demons. But maybe he roosts like a bat instead:) )

Preening. She has a set of ridges under her lip (in front of her gums) for preening her feathers. Her loved ones have little tools to mimic them, and help her get hard-to-reach places. (She often falls asleep during this, similar to Dipper with his hair.)

Migration. I’m still not super organized with this one, but she might try to take off during the winter for long periods of time before coming back, or maybe just circling around to get out energy. Either that or she just tells people that she’s flying south for the winter when she doesn’t want to hang out with them. (This was also a hc meant for Dipper, but now I’m wondering if he tries to hibernate during winter.)

So those were my Equivalence AU headcannons, now for the design choices I made!

I talked a little bit about them at the start, but I still want to talk about it so, here we go!

The fashion was all based on @that-ghosts-art / @that-ghost-pal ‘s Mabel/Mizar designs, and I was very happy for the chance to test out different fashion styles, as well as the braid and shifting tattoos. (For the tattoos I just drew whatever I felt like at the time, and I added a scorpion barb at the end of the braid just for fun.) I added gold-tipped feathers to the wings, and some extra pink bits in her eyes (except for the angry one) I also gave her a crown instead of a top hat.

For God!zar(?) I tried to give her wings a more feather-y feeling than God!cor’s, and made the chest star more like her symbol on the cipher wheel. I muted the colors, and messed with her crown bc God!cor’s hat is a halo, and I didn’t want to copy that directly. I struggled with the hair color for a while before deciding to just bite the bullet, so please excuse any eye scorching color choices (It was originally planned for galaxy hair, but that was given to the wings, and I’m not great with overlapping colors)

Thanks for reading this far into my ramblings, and take a few moments to marvel at the existence of birds (and bats!)

Edit: I’m just now realizing that I forgot to draw the fire.

[momijiba]

watching  ren's  expression  is  one  of  kazuha's  favourite  things  to  look  at  as  his  fiance  is  so  expressive  in  every  situation  that  he  can't  help  but  stare  and  enjoy  the  scene  unfolled  in  front  of  him.   making  ren  happy  was  one  of  kazuha's  main  goals  in  life,  or  at  least  that's  how  he  viewed  it.  he  wants  to  show  the  world  they  live  in  ren  of  its  beauty. as  he  is  getting  led  to  the  tree  that  his  fiance  was  occupying  just  moments  ago  he  notices  a  couple  of  felines  sitting  there,  as  if  they  are  waiting  for  somebody's  return.

wait  a  minute... oh. that's  where  you  were?!!

kazuha  was  wondering  where  umi  went  after  he  and  the  rest  of  the  crux  crew  couldn't  find  him  on  the  alcor  earlier  that  day.  umi  recognised  kazuha  immediately  and  walked  up  to  him  (  similar  to  how  ren  was  just  moments  ago  )  and  rubbed  himself  against  his  leg  before  being  picked  up  by  him.  umi  would  purr  and  rub  his  face  against  kazuha's  rubbing  his  scent  all  over  him  as  if  telling  the  other  cats  to  not  touch  him. 

                ❝   we  were  worried  about  you  umi,  but  i'm  happy  to  know  that  ren  was  the  one  keeping  you  safe   ❞ he  knew  that  ren  was  a  natural  attraction  to  animals  and  it  was  something  that  kazuha  admired  because  it  was  a  form  of  nature  protecting  him. 

ren  isn't  the  sort  to  make  a  big  deal  out  of  his  birthday  —  on  the  contrary,  recently  it  seems  as  if  that  responsibility  falls  to  OTHER  PEOPLE.  he's  always  preferred  to  keep  things  simple;  no  extravagant  gifts,  no  elaborate  foods,  and  the  thought  of  a  party  wherein  he  is  made  the  center  of  attention  sounds  synonymous  with  his  definition  of  A  NIGHTMARE.  it  isn't  even  technically  his  date of birth  so  much  as  it  is  a  placeholder  —  and  beyond  that,  the  wanderer  finds  very  little  reason  to  celebrate  his  being  brought  into  this  world  to  begin  with.  he  told  kazuha  he  wanted  to  see  him,  though  that  alone  was  more  of  an  indulgence  than  he  would  ordinarily  allow  himself  to  seek  out.  his  birthday  has  gone  ignored  more  years  than  it  has  ever  been  acknowledged,  and  ren  finds  the  sudden  change  (  the  sudden  flood  of  people  who  CARE  )  just a  bit  jarring.

sharp  eyes  pick  out  a  splash  of  that  familiar  red  among  the  greenery.  the  wanderer  jumps  from  the  tree  that  has  been  his  HIDING  PLACE,  anemo  slowing  his  descent.  he  trots  over  to  kazuha  much  like  a  cat  sauntering  over  to  demand  ATTENTION  from  its  favorite  person  —  yet  surprise  still  lights  up  delicate  countenance  when  he  finds  himself  presented  with  a  gift.

❝  you ...  ❞   ren  starts  to  say  —  only  for  the  words  to  trail  off  into  silence  just  as  quickly.  he  shakes  his  head,  exhaling  an  AMUSED  huff  and  reaches  out  to  take  the  carving.  the  stone  glows  softly  in  his  hands,  as  if  lit  by  a  radiance  from  within.  the  wanderer  trails  a careful  thumb  across  its  edge,  RARE  SMILE  pulling  at  the  corners  of  his  mouth.  

❝  it's  perfect.  ❞   ren  murmurs  —  then  looks  up.  ❝  you're  perfect.  ❞  he  always  is,  as  far  as  the  wanderer  is  concerned.  free  hand  then  extends,  fingers  curling  loosely  around  kazuha's  wrist.  ❝  ...  and since  i  have  you  here  already ...  mind  if  i  show  you  something?  ❞   gaze  briefly  flicks  to  the  tree  he  had  previously  been  occupying.

[theitalianscribe]

Ally Cat

Lance was always on the fence between cats and dogs. On one hand, cats could be very well-mannered and they were small enough to move anything important out of the way. On the other hand, dogs gave you an excuse to go outside for exercise, were arguably more loyal, could be trained, and could be great conversation starters outside the house. After the week he had, Lance was definitely a dog person.

“Is it true that Yggdrasil just makes you act like a cat?” Lance heard his sister ask. He peeked into her room and found her working on homework with the dreaded Dreambender.

“Who told you that? That’s supposed to be a well-kept family secret.” The dreambender faltered from his position hovering cross-legged above Destiny’s bed.

“Family?”

“Uh, don’t worry about it. But you can’t prove that what you said is true.”

“Well, I did read it from a few different sources on the internet, so they could be wrong. But it does sound like you.

The dreambender laughed. "I don’t need drugs to become a cat. Observe!”

With a wink, the demon disappeared and a cat took his place. The golden eyes and black fur with white paws was a common enough combination for cats, but the smug expression and floating minature hat gave it away.

“Knowing a demon is bad enough. If you were trapped with the mentality of a cat, I would not clean your letterbox.” Lance leaned against the door frame and glared at the cat. “Now, enough with the chit-chat. Aren’t tutors supposed to talk about the subjects?”

“Maybe her homework is on demonology.” Alcor defended. The voice didn’t come from his mouth, but was clear in Lance’s head. And judging by the laugh his sister let out, Destiny could hear it as well.

Lance just pointed to the algebra textbook open to the page on the Pythagorean theorem. “Yes, because triangles are soooo demonic.”

“You’d be surprised,” A low voice echoed in Lance’s head.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Lance asked

“What’s what supposed to mean?” Destiny looked between the cat on her bed and her brother.

“Maybe your brother just doesn’t have an appreciation for math and how you can use what’s inside a triangle to measure what’s outside it.” Alcor made his way from Destiny’s bed to her vanity, across her windowsill, and onto her desk. He placed a paw on the page, “Now, to solve this, you just…”

Lance decided that watching his sister learn math from a cat was beyond his fill of absurdity and walked out of the room.

Later, while the siblings were cleaning up the mess from dinner, Destiny talked with the dreambender. Their parents were watching Celebrities in the Ballroom at a fairly high volume so her conversation was at least fairly safe. Plus, she had a headset connected to her phone and had her phone on silent. Lance had to admit that it was pretty clever. If he didn’t get chills and wasn’t familiar with the context of their conversation, he would be pretty convinced himself. Apparently one aspect of his sister’s connection to the Dreambender was that she could see him while others couldn’t.

“If only I could have a real cat,” she sighed, “No one is allergic and we have plenty of room, but my parents aren’t convinced that we could handle it.”

Lance watched her as he wiped the table and groaned at the way her eyes lit up moments later.

“Hey! That could totally work.” She was quiet for a moment. “And you would totally be willing to do that? I doubt cat food tastes as good as it smells.”

Oh no. Lance had a guess to what they were planning, but he hoped that for once he was wrong. When he walked in from picking up the mail the next day and found Destiny petting a familiar cat, he groaned. Of course he was right.

“I found this cat on the street. He has a collar, but it’s hard to read.” Destiny explained to her parents. Said collar had a metallic charm that looked like a winged star with a hat. The cat refused to take the collar off, so a damp rag was used to clean it off and an etching was made of the engraved name and phone number. Their mother called this number and set the phone to speaker.

“Hello, Stanley Pines Memorial Library. How can I help you?” The voice on the other line sounded teenage.

“We found your cat,” Destiny said a bit louder than necessary.

“Our…cat?” The teen sounded confused. Lance fought back the urge to face palm. There was no way this would work.

“Yes,” Their mother said, “Its collar says its name is Ally Cat. My daughter found it and we wanted to get it home.”

The teen was silent for a moment. Lance could hear some typing in the background. “Oh, yes…Ally Cat. You found him!” The teen’s voice was worse than a group of students reading aloud from a textbook. And yet their parents seemed to detect nothing wrong. “My family went on a road trip near your area and he snuck away while we were at a park. We didn’t notice he was gone until we were halfway to the next town. Thank goodness he’s safe!”

Destiny discreetly puled out her phone and started typing on it. Lance inched closer to her.

“Well we have him and would love to drop him off or you could pick him up. Our address is…”

While his mom spoke, Lance peered over Destiny’s shoulder and spied her messaging someone named Ivy Pines. Lance peered at his parents to see if they could see what she was doing, but their mom was holding the phone and their dad was stroking the cat’s fur. He couldn’t believe it; his sister was building a plan with the girl on the phone and their parents had no idea. Unbelievable!

“I got you!” Ivy sent to Destiny, then said on the phone, “Yeah. Unfortunately, my family lives in Oregon. I can get my uncle to stop by your place when he picks up some books, but that won’t be until next week. I don’t mean to impose, but would you mind…”

“We could look after this little guy for you!” Their dad piped up. Alcor rolled off his belly at the phrase “little guy.”

“Could you? That would be great! And we can totally pay you back for any supplies you guys need!”

“That would be lovely, but maybe we can just have someone else…” Their mother trailed off as she locked eyes with Destiny’s pleading face. “Hold on a moment.”

“We are not taking care of a cat! You two have school and your dad and I have work. Cats are a lot of work.”

“Please! It would just be for a week, and I promise to change his letterbox every day.” Destiny begged

“They will reimburse us for supplies,” their dad added.

“What do you think, Lance?” No way! Brief visits were one thing, but letting a demon live with them was so stupid on so many levels. Still, Alcor was clearly protective of his sister, and it would be nice to get a cat if they could convince their mom. This was very risky on a demonic front, but a safe way to test his sister’s responsibility.

Alcor walked over to Lance and brushed against his leg. Then, with a glint in his eye, he touched his nose to the exposed part of his uncle and gave Lance a small shock.

If Destiny missed a chance to get a cat because of him, there were two people that wouldn’t let him have the end of it.

“As long as it stays out of my room, I don’t care.” Lance finally said.

Their mom nodded, “Okay, we’ll take care of him. Now, is your uncle available? I’d like to talk details of this meet up.”

With that, Destiny was granted a temporary pet cat and Lance’s doom for the next week was sealed…Oh, who was he kidding? His doom was sealed the minute he had locked eyes with the Dreambender in his sister’s bedroom and squirted him with a spray bottle filled with holy water. Come to think of it, where did he put that bottle? Something told Lance that he would be needing it.

The cat in question turned toward Lance and, be it by some trick of light, the angle he was looking, or something that should not be a factor when dealing with a cat, “Ally Cat” starred back at him with glowing red eyes.

Yeah, he was definitely going to need that bottle.

[mehiwilldoitlater]

Creator au but reader takes the form of a stray cat? Traveling around and sneaking into ships for long voyage’s (probably snuck onto the alchor)

The great thing about being friends with a piratefreaklover is that she'll answer all your questions about pirates and ships, and you know? This concept is not so impossible!

The Alcor crew were probably even searching for a cat (cats were useful on the ships because they hunted mice, decreasing possible diseases and protecting the supplies). One day, this mysterious cat just appeared from nowhere , and, since they were incapable of finding one in the city, they decided to keep the one that had just decided to use the ship as their new home! No one suspected anything. I mean, how could they? It was just a stray cat that maybe decided to take a nap and accidentally remained stuck there! No one suspected that it wasn't an accident, and that the cat knew exactly where they were and what they wanted to do.

The cat seems to be quite fond of Beidou and Kazuha! That's a good thing! They love to spend time with the captain and the young ronin, enjoying their presence, welcoming them every time they board the ship and spend the nights in their cabin or outside, under the starry sky.

However, that animal appears strange... it appears as if they can understand and respond to their words... but maybe it's just an impression, right? But that isn't the only strange thing that has happened: after adopting the cat, the ship never encountered any problems, difficulties, or danger on its voyage! Not only that, but it was like finding treasures. Fighting monsters or enemies was simple! The crew never once felt fatigued, sick or in pain. Maybe that cat was a lucky charm! They even suggested naming it "Lucky"!

If the crew decided to dismiss those strange phenomena, Kazuha's curiosity never once left his mind. What was the cause of this impressive good fortune? Why was he able to feel the sea alive? It wasn't something that he had ever felt before on the ship; it was new. When they faced the tides, the ocean reminded him every time that it wasn't their enemy or their ally, it was something that they needed to respect and just follow. Now it was different; it was protecting them every time!

Maybe,one day, he'll catch the truth about the secret of the Alcor, and maybe, he'll catch even a glimps of someone that every night slips away in the shadow.

[chocoenvy]

💳💥💳💥💳💥💳💥💥💥💳 MORE TRANS READER PLEASE. CRYING ACTUAL TEARS OF JOY. I AM DISSOLVING INTO A PUDDLE OF TEARS. NEW FAVORITE AUTHOR

A;SLDKFJASDFAS YOU'RE SO FALS;KFJASLDFKAS NICE PLS I LOVE YOU PLATONICALLY???????? I'M SO GLAD YOU LIKE IT!!! SO MANY PEOPLE HAVE SAID HOW THEY LOVE THE TRANS READER! I DIDN'T KNOW THERE WERE SO MANY TRANS PPL IN THE WILD!!! YOU'RE SO NICE I'M JUST-A;SLDKFJASLFKJASF THANK YOU <33333

MORE TRANS READER AS PER YOUR REQUEST! it's a bit of a mess but it's super fun and fluffy.

warnings: cult behaviors, dysphoria, lots of fluff :))

Nicknames and constant compliments.

They'd call you Prince/Princess, I don't make the rules

some of them start to get the whole dysphoria thing and will give you small compliments that mean the world

like "Your hands are so masculine/feminine!" "Wow your voice is so cute/handsome/hot/pretty!" "You've got a little fuzz on your face."/ "Your face is so smooth!"

stuff like that. the compliments that cater to your weird dysphoric needs.

I STILL WANNA STAY ON THE OUTFIT THOUGHTS OKAY?

Ningguang buying you literally anything you want.

Taking your kins or characters you find aesthetically pleasing to help you pick out outfits

Imagine buying a really masc/fem outfit and strutting around with the boys/girls in town acting like you own the place (because you do)

(Fem) imagine a flowy dress or skirt and flowy sleeves. Or a cute kimono from Inazuma with cute earrings you got from your favorite character. (Imagine getting cat earrings from Diona)

(Masc) Or a hoodie like chongyun has, a dress shirt, chains, rings. That necklace thing that Thoma wears.

PIRATE. APPAREL. A PIRATE HAT. pirate apparel is not gendered but imagine a super masc/fem version of pirate wear and boarding the alcor with Beidou i'm-

The amount of euphoria!

and if anybody ever misgenders you on purpose literally the entirety of teyvat will sneer at them

like wtf dude? that's basic human respect dumbass. you're creating a problem from nothing.

you'll never see whoever did that again :)) (childe took the "boil the homophobes" too literally)

Comfort from Dysphoria

as far as we're aware none of the characters are trans and understand dysphoria. But if there is anybody that would understand it would be the gods. Specifically Venti.

They can change forms, surely they understand that if they're in the wrong form everything feels wrong.

Whenever you approach Venti about this he understands. Not to the extent you do since he's not trapped in one body, but he does get it.

"It was such an awful feeling." Venti grimaced, "I changed my form as soon as I could to get rid of it. Is that what you go through everyday?" His eyes shone with pity. Sadness that his beloved god feels so awful all the time.

Venti, being the cutest dumbass bard that he is, sings a song praising you using your name and pronouns (think "He's a Jolly Good Fellow" but you and your pronouns. really dumb but cute)

It's so goofy that you can't help but giggle uncontrolably. Any thoughts of dysphoria or self hatred pretty much gone with the wind.

-Venti jokingly making his voice higher/lower to show you how masc/fem you are

-Zhongli giving you masculine/feminine jewlery custom made by him with pretty stones

-Ei doesn't know how to be comforting so she'll probably just be your supply of sweets on those really rough days. She'll also personally m u r d e r those that made you upset.

-IMAGINE Beidou and Xinyan helping you look like a masculine girl and Venti and Xingqiu helping you look like feminine guy. Like imagine for my trans mascs, looking like a boy but wearing a skirt!! Or wearing a tux and looking like a girl for trans fems!!

"Razor, what do I smell like?"

"Like...Lupical..."

"No, like, does my scent give away my biological sex?"

"Sex? Your scent... like lupical?"

"Razor I-"

"..."

"T-thank you Razor..."

":D"

-Someone is misgendering you and the traveler gets more and more pissed off while Paimon not-so-sutbly corrects them, her voice getting higher and higher everytime they use the wrong pronoun.

TransMasc!Reader: My chest is so big :(

Beidou: *proud* Not as big as these honkers *slaps her chest*

Transfem Reader begging the women of genshin to spare some boobage.

Aether and Lumine being the best older siblings:

Aether helping transmasc reader with his wardrobe and daily routine.

"i have long hair so you shouldn't worry about how long yours is"

He helps you do masculine makeup, "My sister taught me how to do it, i'll try to make is as masculine as possible :))"

if your hair is short but grows back super quick and you don't wanna get your hair cut every week Aether will jokingly put it in a tiny ponytail to match his braid.

You teasingly steal his sword and he just stares at you with his hand to his chin, humming, "You look very masculine with a sword."

Lumine dresses transfem reader all pretty everyday with fancy and cute dresses and jewlery.

Going shopping with Lumine and she points out every item she thinks would look good on you.

"Here take these dresses and model them for me!" She grinned.

The two of you had a whole fashion show in the dressing room.

Lumine puts flowers in your hair whenever she can because you just look so cute! (it was originally Venti's idea but Lumine beat him to it)

Lumine doing your makeup super fem and pretty. Matching makeup!! The two of you sitting at the vanity staring into the mirror, "What kind of look are we going for today?"

STYLING. YOUR. HAIR. doesn't matter how long or short it is, it's Lumine's to style! now She'll have a blast with your hair, she has lots of experience with Aether's hair and her own so she'll have fun and you'll definetely like the results.

[rindomness]

 Hello and welcome! Here you can find a masterpost of my published fics(+ an intro to my OC project at the very end). Let me know if any of the links are broken!

Persona 5

On Pitch (And Other Flammable Materials) - Homestuck troll AU, in which a TV studio is visited and a pitch crush is developed.

Darling, You’re Made of Lies - TAZ:Steeplechase AU. Akira works in Steeplechase’s underground and Akechi is the media darling of the park. Things aren’t that simple.

Burn Into the Night - Promare AU. Akechi works in Burning Rescue while hiding his Burnish status, and Akira leads the flame-terrorist group Phantom Burnish, and then things get complicated.

All the Words I Couldn’t Say - 3rdsem fic in which Akira died in the engine room, rather than Akechi. Alternately known as dead Joker AU.

Coming Alive - Post-canon short fic featuring an Akechi and Akira reunion. Written for the Rivals zine.

To Make Sure it Wasn’t Goodbye - Study featuring a demiromantic Akira.

to my enemies - Five years after Akechi’s disappearance, he re-enters Akira’s life. Adjustments are made.

- A Liar’s Guide to Hatred - Five years after 2/3, Akira sees a familiar coat in the subway and decides to investigate.

- Dandelion - Set during Liar’s Guide. Akechi and Yusuke talk about Akechi’s card, amongst other things.

Phantom Shuffle AU - Arcanaswap NG+ AU.

- ‘Cause You’re Only Going Up From Here - Futaba Isshiki is arrested for assault. It launches the start of a brand new adventure.

Dungeons and Daddies

Bloodstained Mind, Lonely Heart - A look into Normal’s thoughts during the murder of Tony Pepperoni.

The Nature of Dreams - A Lark Oak character study through various points in his life.

On Grief (You Were Just Here) - Very short piece in the middle of s2e47.

Coinflip - AU where Normal is the teen picked by Willy, not Scary.

- Something Bright, Something Foreboding - The teens learn about what’s behind the obsidian door, and Normal levels up a lot.

- I’m Sorry (Talk To Me) - After escaping Papa John’s, Sparrow finds out about Willy.

- Connection - Scary and Terry talk about Willy and form a bond.

- The Ethics of Managing a Dungeon - The teens return from Earth. Lark grapples with what Willy has done.

- Aftermath - Post-Tony-murder, Normal and Scary deal with the fallout.

- Alone on the Face of the Earth - The teens discuss Normal’s betrayal.

Welcome to Night Vale

Forbidden Thoughts Box - A Cecil character study set during year eight with a focus on memory.

Numbers - A Carlos character study, years 1-some of 6, about belongingness and love (and, of course, science).

Homestuck

Five Minutes - Dave and Rose talk in the time spent waiting before their god-tier ascension deaths.

A Hat in Time

A Rainy Day in Subcon Forest - a gift work for Beingverse, detailing some sibling shenanigans on a rainy day.

Twilight Rift AU - My AHiT AU. Hat Kid returns to Earth after the events of the game to learn some new things about herself and her past, along with the various places on Earth. In the process, naturally, shenanigans and found family occur.

- When the Bell Rings

Gravity Falls Transcendence AU

Gravity Falls, Florida - A crack fic taken seriously, in a universe where Gravity Falls was in Florida, rather than Oregon.

Five Times Dipper Napped - A short story about the weird places Dipper falls asleep.

The Misadventures of Sam Reese - My TAU arc. Sam Reese is a mizar going to college for demonology, where she meets Silver Wills, her roommate, and Alcor the Dreambender. Shenanigans ensue, as does found family.

- Hi, it’s Nice to Meet You!

- Welcome to the University of Gliese

- On Alcor and Related Dilemmas

- Summerween Memories

- The Moon is Bright and I Am Here

- Not-So-Happy Holidays

- Parties

- Dungeons, Dippers, and Disasters

- How to Handle Your Demon Cat

- There’s a Little Resemblance

Original Work

Asha and Azar’s Guide to Evading Cosmic Law - Asha Luxwell, daughter of influential figures in Luxianism, makes a gamble and calls Khashya the Demon to find a solution to her problems. Things go awry, a trip is taken, and found family ensues. (No links for this - still very much in the works, but you can check the #aagecl tag on this blog for stuff!)

[dailydianakko]

wdym with the tag ‘that is not how an eye should look’? It seems like he is winking to me...

This is a good question! He was sort of winking in that photo, but Alcor is a kiddo who has had historic eye issues. If you look closely you can see a slight protrusion of the third eyelid on that “winking” eye, as well as some redness/puffyness. You also can’t tell from the photo, but in real time, the eye is usually squinted as well!

Now this lil’ man is getting treatment for this in the form of eye drops and we’ve done multiple corneal stains to make sure there is no ulcer or wound on the eye itself. He is also slotted for a surgery on wednesday (because this issue is entropion and can’t get better with meds alone) so rest assured he is being taken care of.

Now if your cat’s eye ever looks like his, or is squinted for long periods of time, a vet visit would be prudent just to make sure everything is ok!

[thexam-union]

First folks from Norma Sector! They come from different districts, but tend to be filed together. All of them are magic in some way, though some more than others. All of them are friendly, even if Alphard comes across as indifferent at times. Do visit and talk to them, though, they’re lovely!

Dofida is unofficially the one people go to for advice, so she’s fine with taking questions about the sector as a whole. If she doesn’t know, though, she’ll ask around and get back to you. :>

Transcript below the cut!

Dofida:

Name : Dofida Pronouns: She/Her Division : Norma District : Duplo Valley Charge : Fairytale Brook Form : Human Local Duty: Storyteller Extra Abilities : General magic, just having entirely too many books. Not sinister, but it's good to have written down somewhere.

Dofida is a hermit, based in the forest and doing all the typical witch activities. You know, sewing, homesteading, keeping a cat well-fed, documenting stories that are on the cusp of being forgotten. Most people who ask to see her once tend to come back,and they often come to hear these stories. They're also willing to take donations of stories and make her guests a nice cup of tea, but nothing's obligatory, of course. For a hermit, they do appreciate the company.

As well as that, she does tend to be a mother hen to the group. This does mean that she's unofficially in charge of (almost ) all of the things, but she's out here and okay with the busywork. It's also not as if she has help, Alphard is incredibly helpful with getting everything in line physically as well as being what they call "an interdimensional mailman". They seem to enjoy themselves with the job! As well as that, having contact with the other Divisions is quite nice, given the differences between them. Corvus are particularly eccentric, and Aquila are constantly suffering arson cases, so you can see why it's definitely enlightening to compare Norma's relatively sedate and isolationist members to that, as well as exchange advice and stories.

As far as friends go, though, Dofida is incredibly close to Gumala, given the whole thing of magic lessons and the Knights of the Keep not wanting their house burned down, but it's not a problem for anyone involved. Intan also does occasionally swing by to just drop off research before disappearing for another three months, but they do still talk even on trips.

Gumala:

Name : Gumala Pronouns: They/Them Division : Norma District : Knights' Kingdom Charge : The Dragon Form : Dragon Local Duty : Magic Student Extra Abilities : Minor shapeshifting, very minor pyrokinesis

Gumala nestles themselves up in the keep of the Knight's Kingdom, typically trying to but failing to stick around in a specific form for a long period of time, having not mastered control over their appearance. Sometimes they have a snake-like tail and claws on the ends of their limbs, other things like that, but they quickly change things out if they're told about it, of course. They're too inquisitive for their own good, which gets them into a bit of trouble.

They also really love playing with shiny or interesting things, which tends to mean they get into bits of bother now and again as a direct result of their shenanigans. In their defence, though, they are interesting! Speaking of interesting, taking magic lessons is actually very entertaining! So much so that it has to be a private lesson to make sure no one trips over their tail. It's a safety hazard, apparently, but really people should be watching where they're going.

Something that's also quite entertaining is just adventuring! Going to check on other people! Dofida's lovely to be around, too, and between them and the wizards in the castle? They're learning a lot about a lot of things and having a good time doing it, which is always what you love to see with things. Just in general. Also, they're getting a lot better at not setting the castle on fire!

Other hobbies do involve just seeing what's available to do, even if those things are just exploring and trying not to be pesky. They do not want to be a problem!

Alphard:

Name : Alphard Pronouns: They/Them Division : Norma District : Ninjago Charge : Ninjago: The Ride Form : Human Local Duty: Courier Extra Abilities : They can just go places. They're void-touched, so they use it to travel and deliver things as well as occasionally exploring.

Alphard isn't on any side in the ninja-vs-whoever conflict, even if they're roped in on the ninja's side if at all. They're not fond of the attitudes that the 'official' ninjas have - they're just a bit too self-absorbed for their liking - but they can work with them if needs must. They're not a part of the team so much as an emergency button, but the truth is? They just don't really care if someone's causing the apocalypse, it's not as if anyone can get anything of actual impact done, so why do they need to stick around for people being pretentious and getting in the way? If anything's of actual risk, Alphard will go in, knock something over, and leave again so no one's caught up in the crossfire. Their weapon of choice is a Naginata that can be split into a staff and a long-handled blade for easy-carry.

When it comes to actual work, though, they managed to 'score' themselves the duty of being an "interdimensional postman", as Natasha puts it. If something falls over in any other Division, they do tend to be the first one to find out, given that they can actually just go to the affected area and report news back in person. They don't mind it as much as they'd tell the other people in their district for obvious reasons. They can't catch on that Alphard really just can't be bothered to deal with their nonsense.

As far as friends go, they do tend to enjoy being with the more sedate types. That typically means people over in Corvus, though a few notable people in Aquila are the Marquess, Alcor and Aludra. From Norma, just Dofida. Corvus, however, has people that both hit and miss. They didn't even know it was possible. Volans keeps things professional, and Flegetonte is quite nice to be around and always reminds them that they have a spare room going. Sometimes they take her up on the offer, they make exceptional tea.

[s-k-y-w-a-l-k-e-r]

50 questions you’ve never been asked

thanks to @ilygwilym for tagging me!

what is the colour of your hairbrush? Black!

name a food you never eat? broccoli

are you typically too warm or too cold? more likely to be cold

what were you doing 45 minutes ago? drafting social media posts for the boss

what is your favourite candy bar? Reese’s peanut butter cups (same, @ilygwilym!)

have you ever been to a professional sports event? yes! a lot. I saw Michael Jordan play with the Bulls in 1994, and since then have been to a handful of baseball games (Astros... breaking my heart, don’t @ me), basketball (various teams), women’s soccer (tickets are cheap and we should do everything we can to prove to U.S. Soccer they deserve more money), and of course, football games because I’m a huge Seattle Seahawks fan.

what is the last thing you said out loud? “no, I don’t have time to play,” to my husband, who is on his daily video chat with his coworkers who play games every lunch time. I am working on this survey in between things for work.

what is your favourite ice cream? cookie dough!

what was the last thing you had to drink? currently drinking coffee!

do you like your wallet? yes, because it’s part of my phone case and only holds three cards and Is super slim. i’d recommend it for everyone. mine has fish on it! and sometimes people ask if it’s because I like to fish or something. no. the answer is that I am a pisces.

what was the last thing you ate? salsa verde doritos because obviously i was making healthy choices last night

did you buy any new clothes last weekend? haha no, though I casually looked for sweatpants online

the last sporting event you watched? an Olympic qualifying match for the U.S. Women’s National Team. I saw Pinoe and Morgan and Krieger and all of them, it was AWESOME

what is your favourite flavour of popcorn? butter, I guess. I don’t really enjoy it because it really only takes one bite for me to get a kernel stuck in my teeth and I can’t stand the feeling

who is the last person you sent a text message to? my director at work. she is wonderful and I am not just saying that

ever go camping? definitely!

do you take vitamins? I have them...

do you go to church every sunday? nope, I slid into atheism 15 years ago but still go to church when I visit home because my mom plays the piano for the tiny church I grew up in and I like to sing

do you have a tan? not really. when i’ve had a healthy amount of sun, I get fairly distinct blonde streaks. I only get tan if I sunburn first, which obviously isn’t ideal

do you prefer Chinese food or pizza? P I Z Z A

do you drink your soda with a straw? no mas

what colour socks do you usually wear? I don’t wear a lot of socks in this climate, but my running socks are all gray + blue/purple/pink

do you ever drive above the speed limit? of course

what terrifies you? screwing up so badly that my boss gets politifact-ed (which happened once when we were talking about inequities on Latina Equal Pay Day and I have not recoverd from)

look to your left, what do you see? Airpods

what chore do you hate? cleaning the litter box/taking the trash out (we are equidistant between our complex’s two dumpsters, which is like a 10 minute walk)

what do you think of when you hear an australian accent? hmm. my first major exposure was Steve Irwin... so...? 

what’s your favourite soda? diet coke, i’m just basiiiiic

do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive-thru? when we’re not social distancing, I always go in. As someone who used to work at a drive-thru at an ice cream shop and at starbucks, I learned to love the pace of the people who walk up. way less likely to be a dick about being in a rush.

who’s the last person you talked to? the hubs

favourite cut of beef? I honestly don’t remember. Probably a new york strip. I eat beef on really rare occasions, and that’s usually in barbecue/brisket form because Texas

last song you listened to? I can’t believe I haven’t listened to music yet today! which means it was the Star Trek: The Next Generation theme song because that’s what I watched last night before bed

last book you read? hmm.. in full? probably A Song of Ice and Fire: A Dance With Dragons

favourite day of the week? Saturday, duh

can you say the alphabet backwards? tebahpla eht (sure, if I think about it)

how do you like you coffee? black

favourite pair of shoes? I don’t really love any of my shoes right now. but my greatest attachment is to my hiking boots.

the time you normally go to bed? midnight, on average

the time you normally get up? normally, it’s 7am but now that i’m working form home, 8:30am

what do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets? sunsets, I’m from New Mexico, after all!

how many blankets on your bed? a duvet and a sheet. don’t need much in houston usually

describe your kitchen plates. this has been a journey for us, but we have practically-indestructible Corelle plates with turquoise, teal, and blue dots and trim around the outside edge

do you have a favourite alcoholic beverage? red, red wiiiiiiiine

do you play cards? yes! the hubs is an obsessive game player. we do a lot of Hearts, Idiot, and Cribbage. I’m best at Cribbage.

what colour is your car? Dark gray

can you change a tire? the one time I was faced with the possibility, some stranger walked up and changed it for us on the side of a small town road in Idaho. also, when I had a crush on a boy in high school, he was obsessed with his jeep and I stopped by his house and he (i’m sure as a joke) asked me to bring over a new tire for him and it was huge and embarrassing

your favourite province? British Columbia!!!!!!!!!!!!11111 but I would probably also like Alberta too, I just haven’t been. wait, are we talking Canada? Australia? Somewhere else? If I had to pick a state, I’d go with New Mexico.

favourite job you’ve ever had? this one. I take photos and write social media posts and make graphics, and I basically made the job myself by showing my boss what I was good at. she was open to it. as a result, I have met famous politicians and been in military helicopters (and even communicated with Chris Evans’ A Starting Point production team). it’s an incredible opportunity.

how did you get your biggest scar? literally all of my scars have something to do with my cat. the biggest one is when I brought her home from college. she saw my dog—a dog she knew!!—as I was carrying her in from the car in my hands, and crawled up my face onto my head, catching my eyelid in her back claw. I had to have ten stitches put in the night before we left for disneyland!! thankfully it sort of blends in with the other natural eyelid creases I already had.

what did you do today that made someone else happy? aw probably not much, yet. it’s early still. but I did make a cute graphic for a Tiger King tweetstorm a bunch of legislators are going to take part in and my director really liked it (we probably won’t take part in the tweetstorm but I drafted just in case)

tagging @aoskirk @thehound @lukeslywalkers @alcors-floating-hat 

[theratlivinginyourcouchcushions]

How fluffy is Alcor’s cat form?

Shorter fur?

Or something closer to this?

[fatehbaz]

“The Cosmic Hunt” -- 15,000-year-old prehistoric mythology and astronomy-themed folklore from deep in the Ice Age demonstrates the importance of story-telling and indigenous knowledge in understanding human origins

The study of mythology and folklore is extremely important to understanding the deep ancient history of human land-use, expansion, genetics, and cultural development. Perhaps the most famous example of mythology as a utility for understanding the human past is the “Cosmic Hunt” myth. This myth is one of the single most important human stories in all of existence, because our knowledge of this story has huge ramifications for our understanding of human migration, the prehistoric human lifestyle, human environmental adaptation, and the interconnectivity of human cultures.

The Cosmic Hunt is a mythological narrative wherein some human characters are hunting a large mammal as prey - often a horned herbivore or a bear - and shenanigans ensue wherein an ungrateful human character becomes imprisoned in the sky. The myth relies on astronomical knowledge of stellar constellations; when story-tellers acted-out the story, they pointed to constellations to represent characters. The humans and animals in the story are represented most often by Cassipoeia, Orion, Ursa Major, and the Pleiades.

The myth is found among such dramatically different cultures as Siberian Urgic peoples; Sami reindeer herders; Iroquois and Ojibwa of the Great Lakes; Snohomish Salish in the Pacific Northwest; Indo-European people in India; prehistoric Europe; Iranian peoples in the Middle East; Tuareg in North Africa; and cultures of sub-Saharan Africa.

How ancient is this mythology?

The Cosmic Hunt narrative is just about the oldest human myth that modern scholars have been able to catalogue, a narrative that is recognizable as early in prehistory as 12,000-to-17,000 years ago, long before “civilization” and sedentary agriculture. The myth existed thousands of years before the end of the latest Ice Age of the Pleistocene.

The myth is so old, that it exists among both proto-Indo-European peoples of Eurasia and sub-Saharan peoples in central Africa, and also among Native American cultures who carried the story with them across the Bering land bridge. The land bridge disappeared over 12,000 years ago, meaning the myth is at least as old; It’s even possible that the myth existed and crossed into North America 20,000 to 25,000 years ago.

This myth is so old, that we’re talking 10,000 years before the existence of Ancient Egyptian civilization.

We’re talking thousands of years before the Pleistocene megafauna like mammoths and cave bear and sabre-toothed cats went extinct.

The myth exists in similar form among Tuareg of the Sahara, Kurds in Iran and the Fertile Crescent, nomadic peoples in Central Asia, shamans in Siberia, the Coast Salish of the Pacific Northwest, and Iroquois peoples of the Great Lakes.

The reason that the constellation Ursa Major is associated with bears is probably because of this myth.

-

Here’s how Julien d’Huy, one of the most prominent scholars of the Cosmic Hunt, summarizes the myth:

As the Iroquois of the northeastern U.S. tell it, three hunters pursue a bear; the blood of the wounded animal colors the leaves of the autumnal forest. The bear then climbs a mountain and leaps into the sky. The hunters and the animal become the constellation Ursa Major. Among the Chukchi, a Siberian people, the constellation Orion is a hunter who pursues a reindeer, Cassiopeia. Among the Finno-Ugric tribes of Siberia, the pursued animal is an elk and takes the form of Ursa Major.

-

Ursa Major, an important constellation in many Cosmic Hunt variations:

A 6,000-year-old cave drawing from Spain, probably depicting Cosmic Hunt iconography:

-

Now, check this out:

OK, take deep breath.

If nothing else comes from my monologuing, then please go visit these two diagrams to see them in their high-resolution forms.

These diagrams are what I call “the ultimate depictions of the Cosmic Hunt.” The first was made by Accurat Studio and was solicited by Scientific American, who wanted a graphic that encapsulated all of the wonderful data analyzed by the groundbreaking research of d’Huy as published in d’Huy’s definitive article on the Cosmic Hunt (referenced below in this post). I highly recommend checking-out the high-resolution version of this map, because it indicates not just which diverse cultures had a version of the myth and the trajectory by which the story spread from culture to culture, but the map also indicates which details change in the story (for example, whether or not one of the human characters gets killed, what kind of animal they’re hunting, etc.)

The second diagram was also made by Scientific American, and contains even more information, and depicts pretty much every variation in the story (How many hunters were there? Were they accompanied by a dog? What were they hunting? Which constellations are involved?) Find it here.

-

Look at how widespread this myth is!

This map is just one of the many maps of the wide distribution of the Cosmic Hunt that Yuri Berezkin has made. The map shows distribution of just one variation of the myth. Check-out maps of other variations of the myth in this Berezkin’s article.

Here’s another look at some of the cultures where the Cosmic Hunt myth existed in its first- and second-oldest known variants, wherein the Big Dipper represents three hunters and their dog. In sites labelled “1″ - the three stars of the handle are hunters, and the dipper is an animal. In sites labelled “2″ - Alcor is a cooking pot. In sites labelled “3″ - either Orion’s Head or Betelgeuse represent the hunter’s arrow. (Source.)

Here’s a different variation of the Cosmic Hunt. The hunter is embodied by the constellation Orion and the hunted animal represented by either Pleiades or Cassiopeia. In these tales, the hunted animal is considered to be a bear. However, this map is not comprehensive. Most variations of the myth actually involve the hunting of an ungulate; these stories are more common in North Africa and the Middle East. (Map source.)

-

What important information does this myth tell us?

Early humans had sophisticated knowledge of astronomy.

The myth uses stellar constellations, especially Ursa Major, to tell the story of human hunters pursuing a large mammal. The mammal being hunted is most often a large horned herbivore or ungulate, but a significant amount of cultures depict the animal as a bear.

Among archaeoastronomy scholars and anthropologists, the Cosmic Hunt is also notable because it demonstrates that early humans maintained sophisticated and accurate knowledge of astronomy.

“Civilization,” sedentary agriculture, and commercialism are not essential to creating long-lasting cultures with sophisticated environmental knowledge, which is often story told in Western history books.

The myth is important to understanding early human migration and settlement.

Though most iterations of the story involve the chasing of a bear, some lineages of the story depict the hunted animal as a large horned herbivore or ungulate. It is these regional variations and minor differences in the story that allow scholars to reconstruct how the myth spread and therefore determine the age of each change in the story.

The ability to date the story via small changes in the narrative means that multidisciplinary researchers can also reinforce our understanding of the timeline of early human expansion across Eurasia and into North America.

Indigenous knowledge isn’t just an encyclopedia of environmental knowledge; indigenous knowledge also preserves historical information.

The reconstruction of the Cosmic Hunt myth and its history of transmission would not have been possible if various indigenous cultures had been assimilated by dominant imperial and colonialist powers. We only know about the majority of the Cosmic Hunt variations because they were kept alive by story-telling among the Sami, the Salish, the Objibwa, and other indigenous cultures. Had these cultures been further decimated by imperial powers, we probably wouldn’t have realized how important the Cosmic Hunt story is, and we wouldn’t have known about the sequence of historical transmission of the story.

Linguistic research is extremely valuable, and language is incredibly important.

Linguists are fascinated with the Cosmic Hunt because it demonstrates the utility of language and stories in deducing the age of cultural connections between apparently distinct cultures. We have our current knowledge of the Cosmic Hunt and its historic sharing across cultures specifically because different languages adapted similar terminology to name features and characters in the story. Linguistic analysis is what gives us our knowledge of the Cosmic Hunt.

Why is the Cosmic Hunt so important for multiple scientific disciplines?

The myth is routinely re-evaluated by researchers, who continue to repeatedly confirm its truly ancient origin in the Paleolithic era.

Why do so many scholars value the Cosmic Hunt? Here’s what a prominent scholar of the myth - Julien d’Huy - had to say in a recent analysis:

“Our phylogenetic approach of myths allows us to: 1/ confirm the Paleolithic datation of the Cosmic Hunt linked to a horned herbivore, 2/ reconstruct the first version of the myth, 3/ corroborate the hypothesis of a Europen post-glacial human recolonization of Europe and a part of North Africa from the Franco-Cantabrian refuge, 4/ prove the existence of a mythological root common to Berbers and European hunter-gatherers. 6/ document at least four migrations from Eurasia into America and suggest that there was reverse migration from Eurasia to Africa, 5/ find support for the punctuated evolution of myths, 6/ offer some suggestions to interpret prehistoric rock art images that should be discovered. Thus, the study of human mythology directly opens up new ways for genetics, archaeology and rock art researches.”

This passage was taken from one of the very best analyses ever made on the Cosmic Hunt myth and its spread among prehistoric cultures, a peer-reviewed article by researcher Julien d’Huy named “A Cosmic Hunt in the Berber sky: a Phylogenetic Reconstruction of a Paleolithic Mythology.” Below, I’ll share some of the best graphics and diagrams to come out of this study.

-

Here is an example of how studying the minor variations and changes in the details of the myth can help us determine the age of the story and the trajectory of how it spread from one culture to the next. This is a helpful visualization of how the story changed over time:

This diagram is the result of decades of evaluation of the Cosmic Hunt myth-motif. Taking cues from this diagram, we can make some observations, for example: the most common variation of the myth among about 74% of cultures involves a horned herbivore. In about 27% of cultures, the animal being hunted is a bear; we can begin to deduce that those cultures.

-

Here’s a look at the spread of the myth among Native American cultures (use this link to access the high-resolution version):

-

Here’s Orion the Hunter, and Taurus, in an illustration from Johann Bode’s Uranographia (1901).

So, story-telling is important. Scholarship on the Cosmic Hunt has given us incredible information about human migration, expansion, and early knowledge.

Ever wonder why Orion is depicted as a hunter and what his beef is (no pun intended) with Taurus? Regardless of the constellation’s association with Greco-Roman tradition, this is another manifestation of the Paloelithic Cosmic Hunt motifs. The Orion constellation was central to many variations of the Cosmic Hunt. Orion remains the protagonist hunter, and Taurus is the representation of the “large horned herbivore” that at the center of the story.

In other words, a 15,000-year-old folk tale predating civilization and created in the midst of mammoths is still fully intact and alive in modern culture and story-telling.

[the-alice-blue-rabbit]

“STAR STAR STAR STAR STAR STAR-”

The excited chanting was the only warning the robot master got just before a very energetic blur collided with him as he ported into the castle. Bituin, bless his galaxy-themed child’s heart, stood there snickering as Leo and Alcor stared at Rhapsody nuzzling the dazed Star.

“H-Hey Rhapsody.” He managed to stutter out, optics wide as he regained his bearings. “You’re certainly excited over something.”

The Elf popped up like a whack-a-mole, eyes glittery with joy. “Star! I met a whole bunch of new offworlders!” He helped Star back to his feet, bouncing in place with glee. “They’re friends of Lord Murkle and Lady Aliblu! There’s an adult and a brood of children!”

“Oh?” Star smiled as he watched his friend; there was just something so infectious about a grin, and Rhapsody’s was just so cheerful! Bituin had Leo in their arms now, Alcor floating near the windows to observe the stained glass pictures moving about. “Well I’m glad you met some more people. It’s about time you got to go somewhere other than the castle.”

Rhapsody was then found clinging to Star’s arm, nuzzling the robot master affectionately. “They can eat metal! And they look really cool, they look like Underlanders just like Lord Murkle!”

“Underlander?” Star repeated the word with a blank confusion.

Luckily, a deep familiar chuckle heralded cold arms sliding around Star’s neck, the cosmic bot glancing upward to see Giaselle grinning. “/He speaks, of course, of my species, Étoile./”

“Lord Murkle!” Rhapsody squeaked, face pinching in surprise as Giaselle’s hair formed a clawed hand which patted him on the head.

The elder Elf cuddle Star to his chest with a purr. “/Now now. Your teacher is my Adora, enough with the ‘My Lord’ schtick. Just ‘Giaselle’ will do./” He assured, snickering at Rhapsody. “/Besides, after all that happened in that place, I don’t think you have any need of formalities./”

The mysterious comment made the younger Elf tinge pepto-pink in the face.

“Well! Hello to you too!” Star smiled, quite used to Giaselle’s clinging by now. “But I thought you were an Elf? What’s ‘Underlander’ mean?” He gave Rhapsody a furrowed brow and pinched mouth, not sure if he should be concerned over the look of embarrassment.

Giaselle shifted forms, a cat now lounging on Star’s shoulders. “/Simply put, Underlander is another term for shadowfolk. Of which I am an example./” He lapped at Star’s cheek with a cold, cold, sticky tongue that made the robot master shudder a bit with a squicked expression. “/Also simply put, Underland is, well, underneath Wonderland. Quite literally, in fact. It’s the area that starts in the caverns below, and it maintains the barrier of Wonderland should the Queen ever fall./”

“Oh wow.” Star and Rhapsody’s eyes were lit with fascination. “I had no idea there was something like that here. It sounds like it’s important to Wonderland just like Aliblu and Skarlette, if it keeps the barrier up I mean.”

Another lick, and Giaselle’s paws started batting at Star’s hair. “/Well, important but certainly not welcomed, so yes, I suppose equating them is accurate./”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Star asked as Rhapsody added himself to the hug, Giaselle slipping back to allow them the space for affection. “I thought that everybody liked them?”

Yet again, a mysterious voice came to the rescue with info. “♫I suppose you also think everyone likes strawberry honey?♫” Mediote strode into sight, Giaselle perking and moving towards his Adora. “♫The Guardians may have been created for the role, but it wasn’t easy to get them into the reins.♫”

“Oh! Hello!” Star waved, Rhapsody purring into his chest. “I’ll take it you feel up to chatting today?”

He was given a dry sightless stare. “♫If only because a book having no pages between the beginning and end is boring.♫” Mediote uttered. Bituin and the Pokemon were led away by a maid, who assured Star she’d look after them, Mediote poorly disguising a sour face. “♫To the tower then, mine is closer. I don’t feel like standing.♫”

The hallways had plants and pillars imitating music scores and notes in shape, and as Star brushed a fern with thick strands, it chimed softly. Mediote’s door was a sliding model, and as he ascended the staircase Star took note that the steps were slanted forward so it was actually hard for one to misstep.

Mediote’s tower was rather plain; a large bed in the very back, a table with chairs to sit at, various cases that held instruments, and a rug covering every inch of the floor with what looked like music notes and magical runes.

Rhapsody sprinted in and lunged, landing on his front with a satisfied sigh. “The carpet is so soft~”

“♫I swear your obsession with rugs.♫“ Mediote shook his head as Giaselle snickered quietly, leading his Adora to sit at the table. “♫Now, let’s start with what you know. Since there ARE secrets they’d prefer not be told.♫“ He bidded to Star to seat himself near them.

Star took a seat next to Rhapsody, finding that despite it being the floor, it felt as though he’d just flopped himself down in a huge fur pelt. “Well, I do recall being told about a trial, and Skarlette’s mentioned a few things here and there, but that’s about it.” He laid back, enjoying the support of the rug fibers. “I know that they’re the protectors of Wonderland. I know people respect them, and that they’re not that fond of the fanfare they get at times.”

Remembering how Skarlette’s face had scrunched up when being called ‘Lady Hope’ kinda still made him snicker from time to time.

“♫Well it’s hardly something to be fond of when less than half a decade ago, there wasn’t a person or creature alive that would’ve hesitated to attack them.♫“

Something about the sheer spite in Mediote’s voice made both Rhapsody and Star pop up in surprise. Mediote’s hand was gripping Giaselle’s, the Shadow Elf looking worriedly at his mate. Mediote noticed the tension of the room, and his scowl relaxed and disappeared into his usual blank expression, and it occurred to Star that it must’ve been hard to withdraw such a strong emotion as that.

“♫...Sorry.♫“

Rhapsody held Star’s arm. “M-Master?”

“♫Come here.♫” He gestured to the rug in front of the table, Giaselle snickering a bit as the young Elf ‘swam’ across the floor on his belly, Star choosing to scoot in a more refined manner. “♫The tale of their beginning wasn’t pleasant. It’s their story to tell if they ever need to. But know this; those rabbits, our Ladies of Hope and Light, they have not always known kindness upon themselves.♫“

Mediote’s eyes were glassy, but Star still felt a chill as the Elf turned his head towards the robot master’s direction.

“♫And for such beings like that, trust is something they do not give freely. You should feel honored and be in awe of their cores as you’re held in such a high place to them. Star-Man.♫”

Star was silent for a moment. “...I do feel honored. But not just because they trust me. Aliblu and Skarlette are my friends, and...honestly, that’s all they need to be. You talk about this ‘honor’ and ‘being in awe’ stuff but you also said yourself that they don’t like it.” Mediote’s focus was entirely on Star. “Well. I don’t care then. I mean, I care about them, I’ll always care about my friends. But...No matter what they’ll end up telling me, or if they tell me all those painful things, it won’t change how I see them.”

The sight of a blue colored blaster aiming for him-

“I’m...The last person who should make any judgement based on the past.” Star gripped the Exhautrite charm around his neck.

Mediote, Giaselle, and Rhapsody were silent, tense. “♫...Then I suppose I can rely on you to be there when they’ll need you. Right?♫” Mediote’s gaze was still icy, but there was a slight gleam. “♫They may trust easily, but I don’t.♫”

"Of course." Star replied without hesitation. "I'll always do my best to stand by the people I care about--friends, family, and anything in between."

Mediote then waved his hand to his Adora. “♫That includes my Snowball and my student.♫” It wasn’t a question.

“Absolutely.” But Star still replied, his determined look fading a little as he glanced at Giaselle. “So, just to make sure I’ve got things right, Underlanders aren’t exactly welcome, right?”

Giaselle’s sheepish smile and nod were his reply. “/Oui oui. Just as humans fear the dark, so do those who live on the surface of this world, but moreso, as they know we lurk in the darkness./” He glanced down as his hand brought something out of his sleeve; a small very fluffy looking black rabbit doll. “/During the War, the Red Queen controlled a vast army of Underlanders, and I’m afraid trust for my kind was severely dwindled by that./”

“...I...don’t know much about the Red Queen. I mean, I’ve heard how she was the cause of this huge war everyone talks about, but...” Star admitted.

Mediote crossed one leg over the other, straightened up, and shut his eyes. “♫In the beginning, when the Elven Race broke free of the oppression of the Trolls, the event known as the Elven Rebellion, two monarchs took charge to lead us. Our beloved Queen Sapphire Immortartal, and equally beloved King Obsidian Immortartal. They were the first King and Queen, and...♫” Mediote’s eyes just barely cracked open to ‘stare’ at Star. “♫The parents of Blanca Immortartal and Ruby Immortartal, the White and Red Queens.♫”

Rhapsody was listening with a blank look on his face. It seemed like he knew this story already.

“♫Sadly, when the Queens, then Princesses, were almost of age, Ruby slaughtered her parents while they slept, and sealed Blanca away in a pocket dimension. She began a reign of violence and terror across all of Wonderland. Friends were turned foe, families ripped apart without mercy, bonds and trust that had only just begun to form torn so easily.♫“

Giaselle squeezed the doll in his hands, looking uneasy.

“♫It was only because of Saint Alice, bless her spirit and may it rest peacefully in the Guardians now, that Ruby was brought to justice. Our world may have magic, Star...But not everything can be fixed by magic.♫“ Mediote tapped his temple, seeming to direct the robot master’s attention to...Mediote’s eyes...

Star could vaguely place the chill that shot through his body at that moment as being the same chill he’d felt months before when he and Aliblu had been staring down a mass of water being thrown at them. Only this time it wasn’t momentary; it was a deep chill that froze the bottom of his stomach, all the circuits around it, his processor feeling like a gust of cold wind was being blown through it. The fighting he’d been through had certainly been terrible, but...The sheer implications of everything Mediote had just told him...

“....T-That was a piece of information I was not expecting.” Star finally uttered.

Mediote actually smirked. “♫Didn’t you learn by now? Expect everything and anything.♫” Giaselle ribbed his Adora with a flat look that made Rhapsody bite back a snort. “♫Ahem. But in seriousness, Star, I don’t tell you our history that easily. Because you are someone who can understand many views in the same story. Someone who can understand that much, I believe, is truly worthy of trust. The Guardians, and my own.♫”

“Aw~ Thanks Mediote-” Star began, feeling warm and fuzzy inside from the words.

However, the blind Elf’s hand on top of his head, squeezing rather tightly, cut him off. “♫I said you may have my trust, Star. But don’t think that means you can be so lax. You’re aware of my Snowball’s recent affliction, yes? I’m placing his well-being in your hands if he leaves this world to visit yours or Lady Aliblu’s, got it?♫” The scary smile he had on was an almost perfect mix of funny and terrifying. “♫The same goes for my student if he follow you around, it’ll be your responsibility to take care of them.♫”

“C-Certainly.” Star managed to utter, wide-eyed at Mediote’s hold.

Giaselle got his Adora to release Star, swatting Mediote’s fluffy hair. “/Stop that, Medi, he’s responsible. And I’m not a child you know, you don’t need to assign me a babysitter./”

“♫If anybody with him would make him a babysitter, isn’t it him?♫“ Mediote responded by pointing to Rhapsody, whose jaw dropped at being called a baby.

Star laughed it off, grooming back his hair. “Well, I feel honored I got to learn so many things today! I’ll do my best then to keep your trust, Mediote. Just you wait and s-” He immediately cut himself off, feeling coolant rushing as Mediote gave him a flat expression.

“♫No no, by all means, go ahead and dig your bed.♫“

Giaselle again swatted his mate. “/Don’t mess with him! You just said you gave him your trust!/”

“♫That’s that, and this is this. I’m playing around Snowball, you get on me about being social after all.♫“ Mediote shrugged.

The Shadow Elf’s hair curled like tentacles. “/Playing around hardly seems fitting a description! Be nicer to him then!/” Rhapsody nudged Star in the arm to get his attention as the two Councilmen bickered.

“This is how you can tell they’re married.” The young Elf whispered, Star sighing and giving a weak chuckle as he nodded.

[steampunk-magicalgirl]

I ship it!

Alright guys! It seems like we unfortunately won’t be getting any big celebration for TAU’s birthday this year. That doesn’t stop me from celebrating it in my own way though, so here’s a fanfic thats been sitting in my head for about two years now, enjoy!

(Also, just a note, Timothy is a r!Henry)

on ao3

Timothy Jackson, 15 years old was, in their own opinion, one of the best writers that had ever been born on planet earth! They had written both comedies and tragedies, made people of all ages both laugh and cry, and now, finally, their latest work had been completed. In just a few minutes it would be posted online for the world to see, and Timothy would finally receive all the praise and glory that they knew they deserved. Anticipation filled the room as Timothy carefully typed out the words that would make up the summary of the story.

‘Human! Alcor, human! Woodsman, high school-coffee shop au!’ they wrote ‘When a young student named Alcor looks for a new job in the town’s coffee shop what will happen when he meets his new super handsome manager? Will their love blossom despite the rest of the cruel world’s disapproval? Read to find out.’

They did not add the classic ‘fic better than summary’ comment that most authors liked to use. They knew they didn’t need it, Timothy’s summary was perfect! Just like the rest of their carefully crafted masterpiece. Sure, Woodcore might not have been the most popular ship around at the moment, but surely that would change as soon as people read this fanfic. Alcor and The Woodsman were perfect together, they knew it! People just needed a little help to realize what Timothy had already seen long ago.

They smiled to themselves as they pressed the button for publishing stories and made their hard work public. As soon as the story appeared on the screen Timothy refreshed the page to see if they´d gotten any reviews. When they hadn’t they refreshed again, and again, and again until their cat Mason decided to jump up on Timothy’s desk and sit in front of the computer screen, effectively blocking Timothy’s view in the process.

“Mason get down!” Timothy ordered, however the cat didn’t even seem fazed at all, in fact it simply laid down in front of the computer and started to lick at its paws, Timothy sighed and moved out of their chair to pick Mason up and carry him out of the room. As soon as Timothy and Mason walked out into the hallway they were met by Timothy’s mom.

“Oh hello darling” she said “I was just about to ask you if you wanted to help me make dinner?”

“What are we eating?” Timothy asked her, “We’re making hamburgers.” Their mom answered “I thought you might want to help me fry them…” 

“YES I DO!” Timothy happily exclaimed, and soon all thoughts of going back to the computer to refresh the page again were forgotten in favour of making dinner with mom, and when Timothy finally got back to their room after the meal they simply turned off the computer, and went to sleep.

  ----------------

 The next day after school Timothy threw their bag onto the bed as soon as they got home and eagerly logged on to their computer. Surely somebody had to have read their fic by now. They probably had a million kudos, maybe even a few reviews! Oh how they wished somebody was there so they could share their excitement, but Mason was nowhere to be seen at the moment, although that was probably a good thing considering what had happened yesterday. Timothy´s heart raced as they opened up the site where they posted all their fanfics, and just as they thought, somebody had left a review! Oh this was perfect, everything Timothy had always wanted would soon be delivered to them, all the glory and praise that the Twin Souls fandom could offer was just a click with the mouse away! Timothy opened up the review…. And their heart sank

‘umm not to be rude but this was kind of awful, I almost feel sorry for you! Alcor was just so out of character and I found at least a thousand spelling errors. Again I don’t want to be an asshole but I think you should practice you´re writing more before you publish anything, just some friendly advice lol! Then again, what would you expect from someone who writes woodcore? Micor is just so much better, plus it´s cannon‘

Timothy was shocked, how could somebody say that to them? After all their hard work, this was it? Was this really how the fandom would remember them? Just another failed author like so many others before them? No that couldn’t be it, obviously this person didn’t know what they were talking about. After all they seemed to believe that Micor was somehow superior to Woodcore. Their bad taste had to be reason why they were being so rude, people just couldn’t accept that Timothy’s fic was better than cannon, and thus they got mad at them. That had to be it, that had to be the reason, Timothy decided! Well then, if they wouldn’t accept a ship unless it was cannon, then it was a good thing that Timothy was such a good matchmaker… at least in their own opinion.

----------------

 Dipper was bored, and considering that he was an ultra-powerful demon who could alter reality at his will and make anything he wanted (well almost anything) happen with a snap of his fingers, that was really saying a lot. So when he felt the familiar tug of a summons, one that felt vaguely like he should already know the summoner, he didn’t hesitate to follow it! It felt too weak to be Mizar summoning him. He thought that maybe Cassie had managed to find his circle again and needed some homework help, or maybe it was a cult that had summoned him before that he´d just forgotten about, however he wasn’t prepared for what actually met him the moment he appeared over the circle. He was in somebody´s bedroom. That much was obvious from the bed standing behind him and the posters on the walls and, oh God was that a Twin Souls movie poster? Dipper immediately felt on edge, as he looked down to face whoever had summoned him, and was once again taken aback at what he saw. The child was young, probably in their mid-to-late teens, they had dark skin and bright blue hair, and was wearing a white dress shirt and black slacks (Dipper had to admit, they had good taste in fashion), but what really caught the demons attention was the antlers crowning their head.

“w̞͚̕hy̤̟̖̬̝͜ ̡͔̞̤h̢͓ͅa̶͖̻͖v̵̗̻̞͉̘e͢ ̸̹̳̱̪ͅy͔̜͞o̠̘u̢͖̫ ̯̺͕͍̦͙ͅsư͖̯̯̠̭͔m̰̼̪̭̺̱̖m͢o̷n̻̘e̘͔̗̳̲͟d͏͕͖̩̖ ̼̮̥͚͚͙̦͘m̥̺̤̣̯̘e̸͈ͅ?” Dipper asked, because this child might have his brothers’ soul, but they also had Twin Souls posters on all their walls and Dipper didn’t want to take any chances.

“Oh great, hot and powerful Alcor!” the child spoke “I have summoned you here because I wish to help aid you in your great quest for love!”

…. Okaaaay that was weird and not at all what Dipper had expected. The shock must have been visible on his face, because the child looked worriedly at him and asked 

“Is everything okay Al? You don’t look very good, are you sick?”      

Dipper just sighed. 

”l͚͓̟̱̻̠o̪͎ok̺̣̰̭ ͚̫ki̘̥̮̮͕d̩̱̘͚̫̘̬” Dipper began, “I ̹d̠͈o ̱͕̳̪̮͇̲n͕͕̩̖͙o͍̻̠̝̳t̠̻̫̻̳̳ ̬͇̭̬̪͎n̹ee͙̰̲d̬ ̖̺̯y͈͙͚͈o̭̪̯̘̰u̺̺r ̻̤ͅͅh̗͔͉̠̣̘e̺̪̲̞lp̣̭,̹̼̤̥ ̤͍̮̰̺I̲͖͕̫̲̮ ͙͈̝a̪͎͔̲m̼͚̼̝̯ ̗̭̬̘͕̣̰n̲͙o͓̺ͅt ͙͇͓̻̖͚͓i̬̻̤̗̳n̞͙v͍̖̭͎̖̘̱o͇l̙v̙̥̬̝͔͙̹e̞̥̹̞͚d̳͔̯ ͉͎̫̘̫͔͈i͍̲n̦̖̪͔̥̗ ̪͙̰̜a̮̜̲͎͇̯ny̗̣ͅ

ġ͉r̼͎̘̩̰e̟̹͇͛ͥą̒̔̊̌t͙̙ͨͪͮ͗ ̖̮̦̝̙̐̓͆́qͭ̓̋̔ͯͮu̺ͨͮ̏ͬ̉ͅě͓̘̱̰͈̼s̻̭̹͗̊t͆̆ͣ̐͛̾͛̕ ̳̗̩̓̓̌ͫf̭͔͔̼̟̗̞ͭ̃̃̽̒̕o̢̭̲̙̻̻̣ͯͦ̔̏͐r͙̉ͯ͛̒͠ ̖̌ͤl̻̻͖ͯ̂ͮ̊̔̚ȏ͍̟̅̓͗͟v̸̠̹̾̇e͇͕̠̝̦͌̈́͆͊͑̽ a̘͈̭͖̣̰n̥͓̳̱̳͓̝d̖̯͈ ̲̼n̺̯̦o̠. ̜̗Iț͙̙̫´̗̦s͍̘̹͇ ̗͓̪͕n͕o̬͓t͇̥̳̫ͅ ̪b̼̞e̟̳̞̺͎̥c͇͙̥̱̻̬͎aṵ̥͕͎se̦̺̘ ̤̬̮͚͙̞M͕̯͉͚̙̤̩i͈̜̞z̲͉̱̖̝͇͎a̤r͓͔̜̬̗̟̞ a̟͍͖͎̫͈n̺̤͉͔̪d͔͍̟̜̗̭͚ ̖̻I̟̪ a̮r̳̞ͅe͕̳͚ ̹̲̭̩͖͍͖a̪̖̞͔̥͖ͅl̙͍r̭e̝̼͈̥a̙̝͉͈ḍ̩y̭̭̺͎̯̖ ̱̦̮̣͚͎̟d̪̼̻̼a̞̥̫̞̙̳͎t̙̼̲i͕̩̲̼̗̻̳n̦̗͚̥̹g̮͉̬͎͙ ͈̩͔in͓̯ ̫͎̤f͔ͅac͍̝̗̺͇ṭ̩̠̟ ̼͎̭̰̞I´͔m͈̝̜̘̦̬̻ ̱̫n̮͙͔̘̺̖͚o͍͎͕͓̪t̰͚̣̯̠ ͚̮̜̩̖e͙v̩̣̝ͅe̘̺̰n̪̣̭ ̩͎̣͕i͚͈̖n̲̹̘t̜̖͙̜ͅͅͅer͓̭̪͙͈̱͎e̜s͚̠̻t̻̯͇͈̘e̦̖̫d͕̥ i̮̥̮ͅn̤̣̲̦̲̬̺-”

The child cut him off before he could finish his sentence 

“pffft I know that! As if you and Mizar could ever be a real couple. It’s so obviously not happening, I don’t even get why people bother to ship you two in the first place.”

Well that was DEFINITELY not what Dipper had expected. Just a few moments before he’d been ready to just leave and get out of there as fast as possible, but he was now curious, perhaps this child did have something worthy of his time to offer after all (and even if not, just spending some time with his brother would be nice) 

“Okay ̴th̀en,̡ t͜e͢ll̴ m̕e ̕Eͮ͊X̅͊ͯͪ͗̓A̔͂̐̿̋Ċ̛̓̓T̨ͣ̀̏̓L̀ͧ͌Y̅͋͑ͩͭ wh̨at y͞o̡u w̢ant.̵” ̂ͥ̆̿̚Dipper demanded, adjusting his position in the air so that he was floating cross-legged above the circle.

“Easy,“ the child said with a confident and knowing expression on their face “I know who you really love. And I´m guessing you haven’t confessed to him yet because you’re too shy. So, I´m offering to help coach you, trust me I’m great at encouraging people, and in return you could… uh, I dunno, make sure the fandom knows you love him I guess? And put an end to Micor ones and for all, what do you say?” the child took a step forward and reached out their hand to Dipper, seemingly ready to shake on it. Dipper had to admit that their offer was tempting, he´d love to see Micor shippers finally realize that it wasn’t cannon and leave him alone, however there was one detail in what the child had said that was bothering him 

“And̕ ͠w͝h͢o, i̴f҉ ̴I ͝mąy̵ aşk, ͜is ̨i͝t t̷hat ͠you ̷thìnk̢ ҉I͏ ͞l̸o͠ve̴?”  

The child grinned at him 

“The Woodsman of course!” they exclaimed and nooooooo, nope not doing this, Dipper was so DONE with this! 

“u̷͘m̨m͏͞ ̵̸y͢͏e͘͏a̵h͏̢,͟ ̴̨t̛h͘͠a̷͠͝t̡̀̕´̸s̛͟..͡.̡̛ ̛͜N͏̀͡o̡҉͏t̡̕͠ ̶̀h̨͠͞a͘҉̡p̡̧p̀͝é́n̵̡i͞n͞g̵̕.͘ ̷͏S̷o̧r҉r̕͜y͏̷̨ ̢́k͟i̛͠d͏̴͘!̧” “But wait!” the child cried out in shock, but Dippers form was already getting blurry, and before they could say more, he vanished.

Well so much for spending time with his brother. Oh well, there´d be more chances, hopefully Henry’s next incarnation wouldn’t be as weird as this one.

 ----------------

 Timothy stared in disbelief at the circle where Alcor had been floating just moments earlier. Why had he left? Did Timothy say something wrong? He probably got overwhelmed by happiness when Timothy understood his feelings, and got so confused he had to leave and gather his thoughts. Or maybe just being summoned like this finally gave him the courage to confess his love, and he left to do it immediately! That had to be it, totally!  

Timothy smiled proudly to themselves, knowing that they had been able to help Alcor with his love problems. And now all that was left to do was wait for the demon to make his affair public, in the meantime though, Timothy had more fanfics to write, and this summoning had given them the perfect fic idea. It would require some really good writing skills to get it perfect though. Oh well, good thing Timothy was such a good writer…

 … In their own opinion!  

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zalgo transcriptions for those who need it:

"why have you summoned me?" "I do not need your help, I am not involved in any great quest for love, and no it's not because Mizar and I are already dating in fact I'm not even interested in-" "okay, then tell me EXACTLY what you want" "and who, if I may ask, is it that you think I love?" "umm yeah that's... not happening. Sorry kid"