#cassian…………idk man what else could be said about cassian

[goldenspringmornings]

definitely something to say about how neither of acotar’s main couples actually talk about their feelings with each other or know any conflict resolution besides fucking but I absolutely do not have the energy to put it into words

[elainsgirl]

But Az showing zero concern for Elain when Elain was put into the Cauldron? Az being second to Cassian in offering Elain a dagger? Az not believing in Elain's ability to handle the Trove? Az not feeling Elain's vision was worth pursuing? Az putting Elain's life at risk for both Feyre and Briar simply because he wanted to be the hero who could do it all? Az avoiding Elain at her lowest and only looking into her riddles after Feyre asked it of him? Az looking at Mor with lust while Elain sat in the room with them? Az never giving her credit for her bravery during the war? These things do undermine the supposed feelings he has for her.

Azriel also didn’t act with a sense of urgency tbh. It was Nesta who ran to her tent after he said Elain was missing. It was Cassian who said they’ll bring her back. His siphons and shadows didn’t even react. Az literally saw Nesta and Cassian argue abt this and sided with Cassian to prove Nesta wrong. And even then, it was Feyre who made up a plan to rescue her.

look, as I mentioned previously- for me personally, I never viewed Azriel as a LI for elain in acomaf - I know he was in pain & screamed as Elain was placed in, which mirrored Nessian/Feysand when their mates were hurt too. Sure, Cass offered first but Azriel offered TruthTeller, the dagger he had lent to no one for 500 years. That alone had his brothers shocked. Why did he give it to Elain? He could have given any other dagger. But he didn’t, he gave his best, most useful and personal weapon. C’mon, that is special and a sign of care. If he had done this with Gwyn or whoever else the fandom shios him with - they’d all be celebrating how significant this scene was. I already mentioned how I found his concern valid and mirroring Cassians’ in the end it doesn’t matter what the men say or feel. The girls will do what they want whilst their Lis trail behind. Idk where you got the impression Az felt as though elains vision wasn’t worth pursuing, this man asked her about what she was seeing and actually listened & saw elain leading him too finding out she was a seer, something her so called mate failed at.

Again, I don’t expect him too have completely moved on from Mor by acofas, that is unhealthy and rebound behaviour. However once his feelings for Elain develop officially- that is the end of him & mor. By acosf, there are no longing looks from Az to Mor. Who would he tell? Everyone knew who stabbed hybern - did you want Az to carry a magaphone shouting it out to everyone that Elain stabbed him? Even Elain gives the credit to Nesta giving me the impression she doesn’t want to be known as a king-stabber. Also - Briar needed to be safe and it was Elain who told Briar to grab on ultimately rescuing her. Elain and az both wanted to save an innocent girl from the torture she was going through. As they should.

Where did Az avoid Elain at her lowest? Wasn’t he the one to take her to the gardens and spend time with her whilst she was still in her depression?

The shadows that stilled & darkened when Az found out Elain was hurt by her arguement with Nesta? The shadows that were ready to strike Nesta for insulting Elain?

This is mainly just interpretation. It doesn’t change the things he has done for elain which I already listed that do show he cares and has genuine feelings for her. Az already knew something was wrong when Elain was kidnapped, he didn’t need to confirm it. Nesta was in shock and wanted to see for herself. Yh sure. Cass said they’d bring her back, but it was Azriel with rage in his eyes after being told he’d die - “IM getting her back” which he did as stupid & disadvantageous as it was. They were going into enemy territory- a plan was needed. It doesn’t matter who made the plan,

Az kept his promise and brought - sorry, cradled elain to his chest and brought her back.

At the end of the day, you can interpretate scenes and cherry pick but when you look at full picture- Az genuinely cares for Elain.

[sjmgirlie]

“I see so much potential for Lucien and Elain”

Where?

There has not been a single scene in 2 novels and 1 novella since we found out they were mates that alludes to any potential at all?

They haven’t even had one conversation where Feyre isn’t there carrying it? He lives on the other side of Prythian? Can't stand to be around her? She wants to leave the room each time he's there? Specifically sits away from him? Like where is the potential other than some sort of imagery (which I'll get to)? It ain't there.

“I can’t imagine a single conversation happening between Elain and Azriel”

Really?

They had one the first day they met. Talking about flying.

Not to mention on Solstice they stayed up to talk to each other when everyone else went to bed.

How do we know they didn’t talk when they were in the garden together?

“Azriel just stifles Elain. She’s just a damsel in distress”

You sure?

He literally gave her the knife he had literally never let anyone touch in 500 years to protect herself? Cassian didn’t want Nesta finding the troves either? Are we trying to say that a man who wants to protect a women is suddenly.. unattractive? Like idk about you, but I would love for a bat boy to save me lol. Or tell me not to do something for my safety. But okay.

“It’s just lust”

Let’s not even go there because a male willing to participate in a blood duel and renouncing his own religion is not just trying to have sex

“Lucien is the son of Helion and Elain needs sun!”

Ya?

Well Lucien has never had sun imagery. It’s fire from his Autumn Court heritage and in Hybern he released himself with SPELLS. Feyre was actually the person to cast out a bright light to break the wards, and we find out later that it’s a gift from the Dawn court. Lucien tells us this. Lucien has fire magic and is a spell cleaver, not the sun. ELAIN is the sun. Day court does not equal sun for Lucien. Sorry.

“Elain will never accept Azriel’s profession”

Oh?

Pretty sure she’s already accepted everyone in the Night Court. They all have jobs that are borderline sus. And considering the countless instances where we see Elain is actually very observant, I’m sure she knows what he does, yet she still leans into his touch. Not to mention Mr. fashion police Cassian also tells us that Elain is not a loyal dog. That she saw everything Nesta did and understood. Doesn't seem like she's not accepting to me.

"Azriel just wants a mate!!"

Seriously?

If the male wants a mate why would he bother spending time with a female he knows has one? Why wouldn't he be sailing around Prythian looking for her? Because she sure as shit isn't in the Night Court. And let's be honest, I don't think he will even be getting a mate if it's not Elain through some sort of different bond. Because there is no one in canon right now that could be his mate, and we only have 2 more novels and 1 novella left. And his book is next. Apparently we can all agree on that, but can't accept Elain is also getting the next book, aka their book together. And no, Gwyn is not his mate, because it would have already snapped into place. We had an 800 page book where they were in the vicinity of each other through all the training monologues (so maybe more 400 pages) and it didn't happen? Rhys knew before they left under the mountain. Literally happened at the end of the book. Cassian knew the first day he met Nesta. Lucien knew the second Elain took her first breath lol... it's not happening.

"Elain should be with Lucien and they would be High Lord and Lady of Day Court!!"

Ew?

You want to kill off Helion??? I want the novella to be about him and the Lady of Autumn tbh (even though it's likely Mor). Like? No, I need some sort of scene with Helion in each remaining book. I need more of him, biblically and spiritually. Also, have we forgotten “You can not resent my decision to lead a small quiet life..” ??? Elain said this in ACOSF to Nesta, like, do you think this girl wants to be High Lady all of a sudden? No. She doesn't.

"Elain needs to give Lucien a chance!!"

Why?

I swear everyone who says this has never been in that "Oh, well he's just such a nice guy!! Give him a chance" type of situation. Like why should I? WHY SHOULD SHE? He literally was an accomplice in her human life being stripped away from her. Should they end up being friends? Yes. Together romantically? No. If she doesn't want to give him a chance, which she clearly doesn't, then she doesn't need to. Stop diminishing choice in character arcs. Her whole arc, with Azriel and Lucien, is centred around choice in the first place.

"Azriel's shadows danced for Gwyn, so they are endgame"

Huh?

Don't get me wrong, the shadows are a part of Azriel, but I don't think they literally determine his life for him. Actually, I know this 100%. His shadows are under his command. Also, they danced for her breath, not Gwyn. Which is weird. Not to mention his shadows alert him in times of trouble and to gain information. Is it not weird they didn't alert him that she was there? Like that's not being wing-shadowy, that's screaming something sus is going on. (And no, I'm not anti-gwyn or even saying she's evil. Is she a lightsinger? Probably. The evidence is there. Does it mean she's bad? No.)

"Azriel's shadows hide from Elain, so they can't be together"

Lol?

Again, are Azriel's shadows the ones that command him? Or does he command them? And his shadows have disappeared for half of the IC. They disappear when there is no threat. They disappear when he doesn't want them there. Pretty sure Azriel's whole character doesn't just revolve around shadows. Sure, they are a huge part of his identity so far, but do we truly think that he wants to be reduced to them? Doubt it. He's probably had a very hard time coming to terms with the fact people have always looked at him differently because of it. I wouldn't be surprised if him becoming a Shadowsinger (since they came to him later in life in the dungeon) was a result of unfathomable trauma. Azriel does not only equal shadows only. We just don't know him yet.

"The BC sunk Eriel"

Truly?

You mean the bonus chapter where Azriel was about to get on his knees for a taste? The bonus chapter where Elain was giving him offer and permission? The bonus chapter where Rhys was the reason they DIDN'T actually kiss? The bonus chapter where Rhys became their obstacle and lifted the stakes not only on a personal level (with Elain thinking she was rejected, with Az and Rhys having a wedge between them) and politically (the potential downfall with god knows how many courts since Lucien is a drifter and the human lands)? Like we need the stakes!!!! This is what makes it worthwhile to read?? Forbidden romance? That should be enough intrigue. Plus anyone who genuinely thinks an author would write a male character willing to drop to his knees for a female (we've seen this with both Rhys and Cassian btw) only to have him move on in the next book is just idk. It's not possible. It would be so UNROMANTIC for them not to end up together. Like I would never forget Azriel wanted Elain's coochie so bad only to end up with someone else??? Ya, that's not romantic.

"Elain and Tamlin would be perfect mates"

Throws Up

So Elain is going to go to the only court where there is no gardening because the HL magic keeps everything in eternal bloom, only to shack up with her sister's ex who that same sister almost married and her mates ex best friend? Make it make sense. You're truly showing your hatred for stereotypical feminine qualities my friend. Tamlin needs some time to lick his wombs and maybe learn how to cook. He needs to stop isolating himself. And again, Elain is not his mate. Also, let's just add Elain is not ever leaving the Night Court. The series is about the Archeron sisters, and her sister is the literal High Lady of NC, not to mention her other sister is mated to the Illyrian General. Like be for real right now.

The End. 🌹🗡❤️🦇

[lunaatthezoo]

This took me so long lmao. I made this playlist of random niche indie/alt songs that I associate with acotar characters/couples.

I am so scared to admit this on the Internet but I am just not a Swifty or Lana girly please don't hate me 😭 I have absolutely nothing against them it's just not my vibes! Please don't cancel me lol.

Here is a playlist for my alt friends?? With a lyric from each song below. Absolutely not exhaustive, just random brain wiggles.

Wings/Teeth Playlist

✨ Calm Down aka I Should not Be Alone (Ezra Furman)/Marigold (WHY?) - Tamlin 😬 after Feyre leaves him (yikes)

~Panic-stricken, sweating in my bed/could someone help me down/So I catch a ride instead/Never ending movie playing in my head/Of the dress you wore and all the shit you said

~She dyed this coat with marigold/But the stain is still visible/This mess is not repairable/And the aftertaste is terrible

✨ Reason feat. Lala Lala (WHY?)/Wait So Long (Trampled by Turtles)- Cassian when he's pining after Nesta

~I've been carving my elbows/I might just take flight/Give me a reason to go there/Give me a reason, I'll leave right now

~I could never pretend that I don't love you/You could never pretend that I'm your man

✨ Dark Bird is Home (Tallest Man on Earth)- Rhysand after he is taken and pre-mating bond

~And suddenly the day gets you down/But this is not the end, no, this is fine/We're still the towers in the valley/Still winds down this dream/Still we're in the light of day/With our ghosts within

✨ Metamorphosis (Infinity Song)/Every Feeling (Ezra Furman)- Nesta

~ And sometimes I don't like myself, can I be someone else?/Someone who makes their dreams come true and drinks from wishing wells

✨ Two Lovers (Delicate Steve)- Feysand

~instrumental (also the song I walked down the aisle to 😭)

✨ Atreyu (WHY?) - Feysand

~ In health or disease/You're here with me/My salty eyes/You kiss them dry

✨ Seven Devils (Florence + The Machine)- Feyre Under the Mountain

~Holy water cannot help you now/See, I've come to burn your kingdom down

✨ Into The Shadows Of My Embrace (WHY?)- emo Azriel (😭)

~oh, am I clean?/lord, please, why me?/I wish I could feel close to somebody but I don't feel nothing

✨ I Wanna Destroy Myself (Ezra Furman)- Nesta after the war (😭)

~I wanna destroy something/I wanna destroy myself

✨ Can I Sleep In Your Brain (Ezra Furman)- Nesta and Azriel (separately)

~Can I sleep in your brain tonight, stranger?/Can I spend just one night on your mind?/I can't live with this pain, with this anger/And I need some place else to go

✨ Cosmic Love (Florence + The Machine)- Elriel

~Then I heard your heart beating, you were in the darkness too/So I stayed in the darkness with you

✨ Wild Rosemarie (Ezra Furman)- Elain post-cauldron

~And I thought about Wild Rosemarie/How that was who you used to be/How the wilderness sprang up around us/This dry desert heat

✨ The Gardener (The Tallest Man On Earth)- Elain (it's literally about a gardener who grows flowers over the dead bodies of his enemies and listen if that's not our girly in her book idk what is)

~So now we're dancing through the garden/And what a garden I have made/And now that death will grow my jasmine/I find it soothing, I'm afraid

✨ Soon It Will Be Cold Enough (the entire album, Emancipator)- Winter Court

~mostly instrumental

✨ The Letters, Etc. (WHY?)- Elriel when they inevitably have drama before they get back together

~How strange to be strangers after what we was/In a soft separate life with heart we held the center part of us

✨ Bangarang (Doomtree)- Night Court IC

~Wings, fan the flames/Teeth, with the fangs

[gurugirl]

in the Count is Harry bi or pan or sexually fluid? Because its said he's slept with Cassian but then obviously he loves y/n too. was wondering this too but for vampires is there a difference in male blood and female blood? do they just crave anyone who has warm blood regardless of their gender? i haven't read the latest part of The Count. still on the part before so you may have mentioned on this in the newest part. idk.

The Count hasn’t ever taken the time to think about what his label is. Before be turned into a vampire he likely lived as a straight man and might’ve been unaware that he could be anything else. But of course since he’s been around for so long he wound up learning he likes a little bit of everything and enjoys sex with anyone he finds somewhat attractive.

And blood can come from male or female bodies. Doesn’t matter as long as it’s human! And as long as the blood is extracted before the person dies they can store it - tho it’s best straight from a warm body. But certainly they may crave certain blood over others. Just like pheromones can attract or repel, it would be the same for some vampires with human blood.

Thank you hon! Good questions 😌

Xoxo

[emeriethevalkyriegirl]

“Just ask,”

A/N: A little something I thought about after watching the season 6 finale of Family Matters (if you know this one, you’re officially ‘cool 😎’). Enjoy! @cassianappreciationweek

Summary: Cassian being a good dad to not just his daughters but also his young soldiers.

Cassian: (sleeping with his wife)

Nesta: (dreaming about stabbing)

Both: (hears a hard bump)😳

Nesta: What the hell was that?

Cassian: Idk. Let’s find out

Both: (gets out of bed)

Nesta: (carrying a dagger)

Cassian: (carrying a bat)

Nesta: (whispers) Why do you have a bat?

Cassian: Why else? To kill them

Nesta: With a bat?! It’ll be too messy.

Cassian: Well I didn’t wanna kill them too quickly

Nesta: You look like you’re going to play baseball at 4 in the morning 😒

Cassian: Shh, someone’s in the kitchen.

Both: (slowly creeps into the kitchen and turns on the light)

???: (eating pickles)……oh hey General 😁

Nesta: General?

Cassian: wait a sec…Zach?!

Zach: (a young Illryian boy) Hey there. Sry, I meant to call but my phone bill went out

Nesta: Um honey, who the hell is this?

Zach: Oh you must be the witch that everyone’s been talking about. Name’s Zach.

Nesta: I wasn’t asking you

Zach: Someone’s grumpy 🙄

Cassian: You just broke into our house. What’s you expect? We give you some food and half our salary and let you run off?

Zach: 🤯 You’ll give me half your salary

Cassian: 😡

Nesta: Why are you in our house

Zach: Oh nothing much. Me and the guys are here to get breakfast

Cassian: Zach, this isn’t even-wait, the guys?

Zach: Yeah. Alex, Kenny, Mike, and Sal.

Nesta: There’s MORE of you

Zach: Sure there is. There’s this thing called multiplying where I come from. You see when a man and a woman love each other very much-

Nesta: I’m gonna rip out your tongue if you don’t shut up

Cassian: Where are they

All: (hears a toilet flush)

Alex: (faerie walks out of bathroom) Sorry. That casserole did not sit well with me. Btw you’re out of TP

Nesta: I’m guessing you’re Alex

Alex: Why yes I am madam 😏

Nesta: 🙄

???: Hey can someone keep it down? We’re trying to sleep

Zach: Sry brah

Cassian: (stomps over to the couch and pulls the cover)

???: BRIGHT LIGHT! BRIGHT LIGHT!

Cassian: Sal! Kenny!

Sal/Kenny: (Kenny’s and Illryian and so is Sal) (sees Cassian) 😳

Kenny: …hiya General

Sal: Lovely night.

Cassian: were you two…just-

Kenny: Oh no of course not.

Sal: Yeah we finished hours ago.

Cassian: (lost for words)

Nesta: Honey, who is it

Cassian: Two people who are about to be sent to the mountains if they don’t get the hell off my damn couch!

Sal: okay okay geez

Kenny: Who died and made him cranky

Cassian: (opens mouth to respond but suddenly remembers) Where’s Mike?

Sal: Huh?

Cassian: Where’s Mike!

Kenny: Oh Michael. Haven’t seen him yet

All: (hears the back down open reveal Mike, a high faerie)

Mike: Hey Zach, did you find any of those Lucky Charms I like

Zach: Nah sry brah. He’s out

Mike: General! How the hell are you out of Lucky Charms?!

Cassian: Mike I swear to the cauldron, I’ll-

Mike: The cauldron will bury you when they find out you don’t have any LUCKY CHARMS!

Zach: Calm down brah. It’s gonna be fine

Mike: Does he at least have some Cocoa Puffs

Zach: Yeah next to the Cheez-Its

Mike: Awesome! (Goes into the pan tree to get cereal)

Nesta: So, how did you get in here? Our house is blocked with magic wards

Zach: The spiral stairs. Took forever

Nesta: Then how did…(gestures to Mike)

Mike: Mike

Nesta: Mike get in here?

Zach: Oh I create a temporary window after I found my way here so the guys could get in. It should be closed now

Mike: SCORE! (Finds the cereal and eats it from the box)

Cassian: Alright that’s it! Out! Everyone out now!

Alex: But I didn’t find my Cheez-Its

Cassian: I said OUT!!!

Sal: killjoy

Kenny: And I wanted to try that French cheese too

Alex: Hey General?

Cassian: What

Alex: Isn’t a little late for you to be playing baseball?

Cassian: 😳……😡🔥

Alex: (wisely keeps his mouth shut)

Mike: (eats all the puffs) Oh a toy!

Zach: Whatcha get?

Mike: That orange bird guy on the commercial.

Zach: Sick man

Both: (high five!)

Cassian: BOYS!!!!

Mike: Cya tmr morning Zach (rushes out of the house)

Zach: Cya (goes to the front door to walk out when Cassian grabs him)

Cassian: Not. You

Zach: 😳

Alex: Uh oh~

Kenny: Someone’s in trouble

Cassian: And the rest of you will be in trouble if you don’t GET YOUR ASSES OUTTA MY HOUSE!

Kenny: (quickly carries Sal) Let’s run away together my dear

Sal: LET’S!

Both: (runs away into the night)

Alex: (walks to the door)

Zach: Wait, don’t leave me!

WAlex: Sry brah. Nothing personal. (Leaves)

Zach: 😑

Cassian: 😡

Zach: 😅 Um…nice…house?

Cassian: (let’s him go) Sit.

Zach: (quickly sits on the couch) 😥

Cassian: You’ve got five seconds to explain why you were in my house

Zach: Uh you know…uh…for a prank! Yeah, it was a prank

Cassian: I don’t believe you

Zach: Why not

Cassian: Cause you’ll never admit to a prank. At. All.

Zach: well it was

Cassian: Fine. A month in the freezing mountain would be good for your wings

Zach: No! Wait!

Cassian: 🤨

Zach: …………

Cassian: Zach

Zach: Well…the thing is……um…

Both: (hears a growl)

Zach: (shyly looks away holding his stomach)

Cassian: ……when’s the last time you ate

Zach: Uh…the pickles! A moment ago

Cassian: Before that

Zach: ……(looks away)

Cassian: Zach…do you not have anything to eat at home

Zach: Course I do. I have……water

Cassian: What about food?

Zach: Phew. Food’s overrated

Cassian: 😠

Zach: 😔 okay fine…I haven’t eaten in 3 days

Cassian: What?!

Zach: My parents got divorced. My dad left. My mom and I are offically poor and have no food left

Cassian: So for the past 3 days you haven’t eaten anything

Zach: ……

Cassian: (sighs) Wait here (goes into the kitchen)

Zach: 😕

30 minutes later

Cassian: (comes back with a plate full of food)

Zach: 🤤

Cassian: Here. It’s for you

Zach: (eats it really fast) (burps) Th-Thanks. You didn’t have to-

Cassian: Do you have a place to stay?

Zach: Yeah my mom’s. But…we…

Cassian: I know.

Zach: 😔

Cassian: Alright. Tell you what. My brother, the High Lord-

Zach: Wait?! The High Lord is your brother?!

Cassian: Yes and if you don’t want me to tell him about you and your friends, stay quiet and pay attention.

Zach: 🤐

Cassian: My brother’s looking for an assistant sense me and Azriel, my other brother are preoccupied with the soldiers and the Valkyries. I’ll tell him about you. And I’ll see if I can get you a well paid job.

Zach: 😳 R-R-Really

Cassian: If you do the work right, and still show up for training, I’ll see what I can do.

Zach: That’s…amazing! Idk what to say.

Cassian: But, on one condition.

Zach: Anything

Cassian: No more sneaking around to get food. Especially not at my house. And that goes for the rest of your pals. Got it?

Zach: Totally

Cassian: Next time you need food, just ask.

Zach: Sure thing. Hey uh, Gene-

Cassian: Cass is fine

Zach: Cass…can I have…seconds

Cassian: 😁 You can have as much as you want

Zach: (zooms into the kitchen)

Nesta: (comes in) I heard bits and pieces. What’s going on?

Cassian: Tell yeah in a bit. Right now, for the time being, we have another mouth to feed.

[riorsonxaden]

I’m the previous anon that sent in the ask about Nesta not having another book. I strongly believe that the Valkyries will take over the Prison with Nesta ruling over it as a general. From political standpoint, it makes a lot of sense, or to me it does. And I just love the idea of the Prison being this little sanctuary for the Valkyries with maybe some Pegasus in the future.

As for Azriel’s book, I definitely think plot wise it will involve Illyria for obvious reasons, I know some believe an Illyrian rebellion might happen. And definitely Enalius because of Truth-Teller, Ramiel could be his plot or Elucien’s (or split in half), same with the Autumn Court but it feels more for Azriel’s story since Eris is more connected to Autumn than Lucien, and like you said, Eris has been working with the IC, and then the theories that Gwyn is a Vanserra. Imagine the drama that would unfold, but it would be funny imo. Especially since Azriel hates that family.

I think Gwynriel romance won’t start until the middle of the book/second part of his story, which I’m fine with. I want the slow burn to burn. Please make that man grovel. The first part could be him working on his self worth, unresolved feelings for Mor, and then maybe what happened with Elain. But dealing with Mor feels more important since he spent 500 years obsessing over her. I’m not sure if Merrill will be a villain or not. I’ve seen theories on Gwynriel being a retelling of the Little Mermaid. I think Gwyn helping with research is going to come into play and in the Blood Rite we saw some spy qualities from her, so maybe she’ll go on missions. I think Azriel and Gwyn will become closer from training, teaching each other Illyrian and Valkyrie techniques, late nights researching together, and if she does do spy things then he’ll have to train her for certain things. Also, I think it’s very possible that Gwyn will find Narben based on some things from ACOSF. The Prison is Valkyrie territory, and Nesta is the general that rules over it with Gwydion and Narben safely in their possession.

I could see Azriel and Gwyn discovering something with Ramiel that could be used to build up the plot for Koschei and the mortal queens. Some crumbs might be sprinkled. I have a lot of ideas with Gwynriel. Elucien’s book will be Vassa’s curse, taking down Koschei, dealing with the Spring Court, and perhaps the mortal queens. I want to see courtier Elain and Lucien. They’re the courtier couple. Sorry for the long ask! I’m in an excited mood!

Hey nonnie! Sorry I got busy and then fall asleep didn't mean to leave ya hanging! Don't be sorry for the long ask! Be excited!! I love it!.

Idk about the prison cause they need the prison, and idk how the Valkyries would feel being basically guards there. Not to mention, the IC never wanna go there unless needed. So Cassian and Az, especially if Gwynriel happens, will have something to say about it. Unless they wipe out the prison, maybe which honestly begs the question of what or who else is the prison. But I'm living for the idea of the Prison becoming a place for Peagus so if the prison comes down in here for it. I wouldn't mind them taking over this spot. I just don't want them to become badass prison guards lol.

100% on the second paragraph and I highly doubt the Illyrian rebellion is done. You're telling me it was a huge focal point in acofas and then somehow, off page it was resolved??? Yeah I doubt that. I don't know how to feel about the Gwyn is a Vanserra. I get where people are coming from with it so it would make sense if sjm does it. Since there's already an established family drama plot line with Lucien idk feels like too much of the same to me. But if she's going for Kardashians level of drama for the Vanserras then yeah let's do it.

I have seen the Little Mermaid theory around too and my advice is like for or other folktales and mythology that can be franksteined into it. It's a fairly sound theory but Sarah is and has never been straightforward with a retelling. There are always twists that pull in elements from other fairytale, folklore and mythology. And yeah I definitely agree with your Gwynriel/Az book points. It has to be slow burn for so many reasons. Yeah he says he's over Mor and let it go but did you my guy??? Did you??? The necklace needs to be addressed although I don't think it's going to be this huge thing that alot of readers believe it will be. I think it's gonna be one scene that plays out, and there's gonna be a visceral reaction from Elain. It's gonna be a catalyst for both or one pairing. Regardless if Elain and Az both moved on its still kinda weird to see a gift given to you on someone else. I also think it's important for a Gwynriel romance to be slow burn bc Az is fucking clueless and needs alot to work on and Gwyn has a lot of healing to do.

And yes, I would love to see Lucien and Elain play courtiers. I think, well, I know Lucien can play the court politics game, but Elain would fit into that so well. They both have so much charm, charisma, and observation skills. It's gonna be so good. I'm so pumped for their book. I know a lot of people want and are expecting Gwynriel/Az book. I, too, think it's possible.. but ugh, I want The Elucien book so bad, and I've always been in the camp of its next.

I guess it's gonna come down to who's the big bad...Koschei or Merill? I doubt it's the mortal queens

[jyndor]

I think you conveyed my point better than I did. I expected Andor would be tough to watch if it was going to tackle serious issues. What I didn't expect was Bix not being an "active participant" in the show. Like you said, she is treated like a punching bag. Even if Bix gets to fight back in future episodes it will still mean she spent most of the time suffering in different ways. Same for Cassian. Rogue One doesn't spend half the movie showing Jyn being in Wobani. The Force Awakens doesn't fill Poe's screen time with his torture.

Andor is educating through shock value, which seems to be working for some viewers. It doesn't for me. I think there are others like me who wanted to be inspired by representation in a Star Wars story and instead are watching their representation be treated like punching bags. Which is different from people who don't like the show's message. The type of suffering is not surprising. The amount of it is. I think it's too much and that they could convey the same message with less. This makes the show a hopeless slog to watch at some points.

I don't understand why other people aren't sympathetic. Is nobody else upset with how horribly Bix has been treated compared to any other female lead? Even if people don't agree, they should at least be respectful. Thankfully you have been which is why I'm writing this in the first place.

I want to second the other anon that was excited for Bix and Cassian. I understand what you meant but I thought the tension in their relationship would come from the plot. Now it seems they are simply terrible for each other. Like you said the show would be a lot better if Cassian was younger. Watching an adult man try to pay off his debts while the woman marketed as his romance gets tortured was not what I signed up for. Even if Cassian turns out to have been a rebel this whole time like you said, it's too late. -- Bix anon

Anon I cannot possibly be saying my point correctly because no one understands that I get the point of what the show is saying but that I struggle with WHY the WRITERS decided to GO IN THIS DIRECTION lol like I do not know how I can put it any other way besides they're doing what they've decided to do very, very well but I don't get why they made some of the decisions they did.

I think what I'm hearing from some people is that they feel validated by seeing the realities of fascism and white supremacy in the treatment of these characters. I cannot speak to that and I feel uncomfortable even pushing back when someone says that because like... yeah it's never going to be my experience.

I personally don't agree that it is using shock value to educate, but I understand why you feel that way. To me most of the show has actually not been gratuitous - it's served a narrative purpose and wasn't just there to get eyesballs on them or like idk to make people gasp. but there are some choices that make me think there needs to be some more voices in the writer's room (Clem's execution for instance is one that I'm sorry it just doesn't sit well with me.) Like shock value for shock value's sake is the og Game of Thrones to me, but also what is and what isn't gratuitous is very personal. It's literally you know it when you see it. Everyone will have different standards.

And that's very important for you to decide. Is it too much for you? It may be. That's disappointing as hell but I don't think there's anything wrong with people who are too close to the issues they're talking about needing to step back and not engage with the show.

I've seen much worse examples of torture porn but I cannot deny that Bix's passivity is something I don't like as a literary choice - not as a realistic thing or unrealistic thing. Maybe if the show has these characters take on serious leadership positions (we know Cassian will be a captain at some point so I'm not worried about him rn even if I am disappointed) in rebel cells that will help? I didn't have high hopes or really much feeling about how their relationship would go because they called them on and off and I just hate on and off relationships LOL.

I do think it's telling that the show has handled most of the women characters so nicely but Bix has been treated like a punching bag. It does feel odd, but I don't even hate them having an angel of death kind of Mengele character, like I think that's important! but idk it felt a little unnecessary to see her being tortured - the aftermath would have been enough imo. THAT felt like the most gratuitous moment in the show.

Not for nothing, I want to flag something because I don't know that I would be as concerned about how passive a character (as opposed to dynamic, again, not in a political sense I'm talking academically in a literary sense rn) Jyn is also very passive in her own story. Things happen to her - in the film she is abandoned by her parents, picked up by saw, trained and raised as saw's daughter and a partisan rebel, abandoned by saw, is in prison, is broken out of prison, is put on a rebel mission with Cassian, and is given Galen's message by Saw - ACTIVE MOMENT she goes to try to save her father and then gives her message to the rebel council - and then she is given an army by Cassian, we don't even see her planning the Scarif attack or anything. She is pushed along by the actions of others with a few exceptions. I think part of that is a result of the reshoots - which Tony Gilroy did so much of that he is credited as screenwriter of Rogue One. He did not write the screenplay, he did a LOT of the reshoots so he changed the story enough to have that credit (it's a union thing iirc). I don't know where it happened but somewhere Jyn sort of lost a lot of spark (as well as a lot of dialogue).

I want to flag that not because I think like Gilroy is some misogynistic demon lol and I think he's done a great job with the politics of the show for the most part. but I don't want to ignore the feeling I have that Gilroy has some blindspots and women may be one of them.

the funny thing is that I am actually loving the show and I don't know how else to say it. I don't know that I'm being clear, and I feel like I'm just repeating myself over and over again at this point and it's a little aggravating tbh because I just feel like I must not be saying my feelings clearly.

[rhysismydaddy]

Unholy Matrimony Pt. 1 (Nessian)

Nesta’s part of the Damnation Series.

OOF this took so long sorry. I rewrote it, changed it, then deleted it entirely about 9 times. I literally started writing the version before you, from scratch, on Sunday. All parts are linked below, so I’m only tagging people on this version! To go to the next chapter, there is also a link at the bottom <3

ALSO, an important caviat: Nesta is an only child in this one! I originally wrote it for her to be adopted and not know it, but it wasn’t really relevant to the story, so... idk. Just ignore that plot hole I guess.

Parts 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 -- pls like each part I’m insecure

______________________________________________

~Cassian~

“You’re getting married.”

The glass of bourbon halfway to my mouth pauses, because despite being known for being rash and unpredictable, even I’m surprised by the sudden change in conversation.

My eyebrows raise as I look over at Rhysand, my best friend and Capo, trying to figure out if this bastard is serious. His tone says he is, but that doesn’t make sense, because before a few seconds ago, the word “marriage” was in neither of our vocabularies.

He’s been single for as long as I have, although I’m starting to suspect he’s got a bird in the city. He’s too damn happy these days, and the other day I saw him laugh at something on his phone.

Which is weird, because we both know long-term commitments don’t really do well with our lifestyle.

We were raised to not give a shit about anything except the job. We kill without remorse, live in the shadows, and whatever other shitty euphemism you want to use. Settling down in some suburban, picket-fence prison has absolutely no appeal to Made Men.

Don’t get me wrong, most of us get married at some point. But never for love.

Some men choose a bride that’s pretty and sweet. Someone who will donate to charity and help clean up their image. Governors’ daughters, women from old-money families, and social princesses make up this category.

Some men marry to advance their station in the Family. Second sons who will never inherit the business marry daughters of Underbosses to get a nice boost to their status.

And then there’s the ones who are forced to marry by their capo--ie. me-- so they choose whatever attractive woman that’s in the Family and available. Those are always the happiest.

But regardless of the reasoning, marriage in the mafia is heartless, political, and for me, unnecessary.

I know I’ll have to pick someone eventually, but there aren’t a whole lot of desirable options at the moment. Not many of the other Underbosses have daughters that are over the age of fifteen right now, and I have no interest in doing the child-bride thing.

Plus, there’s no way I’d marry someone outside of the family. At my rank, it isn’t an option.

That leaves... a widow?

The only one I know is Ianthe, and considering I highly suspect she killed her last husband and the fact that she’s crazy, there’s no way in hell I’d legally bind myself to her for life.

So he must be joking.

I take a pull from my cigar and look over at Rhys with narrowed eyes. “Uh huh. Sure. To who, exactly?”

“Volchonok.”

The Wolf Cub.

The cigar snaps in my fingers.

“You’re fucking kidding,” I say, honestly hoping that’s the case. He’s either that or insane, and I’d hate to lock someone who’s like a brother to me in a padded room.

Rhysand’s unflinching gaze doesn’t change, but his tone morphs from that of my friend to my boss. “You will marry her, Cassian.”

“She’s a fucking Russian,” I spit, not understanding. That should be reason enough for him to be joking.

In our world, being Russian is a crime similar to stabbing the Pope.

We’ve been at war over New York with them ever since they decided to try and get a stronghold on the east coast, and I’ve killed more of them than I can fucking count. Now I’m marrying one?

“Yes, she is, and so is her father, Alexei Olov.” Aka the Bratva Boss responsible for blowing up half of St. Petersburg last year when the local police refused to buy his weapons. “You will marry her, move to New York full time, and run the city with her by your side.”

“Why? Two or three more years, and we’ll have the city anyway.” Every day the Russians get weaker, and I’ve been responsible for pushing them out of my city block by block.

So there has to be a reason we’re suddenly okay with the enemy.

Rhysand sighs. “It was his idea, not mine. Orlov has agreed to sell our coke in Moscow and Seattle instead of his usual dealer and will supply us all the weapons we need for five years. There will also be no more midnight raids, bullshit arrests on bullshit charges, or missing shipments. He’s offering you a dowry, too.”

I don’t need his money, but the old fashioned term makes me laugh.

“Yeah? And how much does he think his wolf cub is worth?”

His lips twitch. “Ten million.”

“She must be a real pain in the ass, then, if he’s going to pay me that much to take her,” I chuckle.

Not that ten million dollars is anything but pocket change for the man. Orlov may be losing the fight in New York, but the bastard is richer than sin. 

Selling arms to half of the entire world will do that to a person.

“I hear she’s beautiful,” he says, trying to tempt me to not fight him.

“Then you marry her,” I shoot back, not ready to give up the argument.

“I don’t feel like it.” Fucking typical. Rhysand sighs. “You and I both know we can work this deal to our advantage, so what will make you say yes?”

He could order to me to say yes and I’d have to, but he hates enforcing that kind of authority with me.

So I think it over, make a show of lighting a new cigar. “I want Sera.”

It’s a burlesque club in New York I’ve always been a little envious of, owned by Orlov and operated by his men. I’d tried to buy it a few years back but hadn’t had enough leverage on the Russian to strongarm him into selling.

Now I do.

Rhysand--the only one who knows about my failed attempt to buy the place--nods and tells me he’ll make it happen.

“When’s all this happening, anyway?”

He looks like he might laugh. “Wedding is in a month, but she’s flying in tomorrow night.”

A quick laugh forces its way out of me. Also typical of him to give me absolutely no time to change my mind.

Well, I have a month. That’s already longer than any relationship I’ve ever had. 

Sighing, I stand and shake his hand, cementing the deal before I can even lament the loss of my bachelorhood.

~Nesta~

“Chto sluchilos?”

I slide my gaze to my father, because seriously, that’s the stupidest fucking question I’ve ever heard. 

What’s wrong? What’s wrong? Everything.

“Nichego,” I lie, assuring him for what feels like the tenth time as I look out the window. The plane picks up speed and lifts off, taking me towards an uncertain future, an uncertain place.

I might have told him nothing’s wrong, but inside, I’m screaming.

Three days ago, I woke up to find a marriage contract on the pillow beside me. There was a blank space where my name had been typed and a pen waiting for me to remedy that.

I still haven’t.

I’m not signing anything until I meet this... Cassian. 

God, what an Italian name.

An image springs to mind, one of a slumped-over, hairy-chest beast with slicked back hair and a gold chain. 

I know it’s stereotypical and hopefully incorrect, but I’ve never been to Italy and Alexei strictly forbids me watching movies that portray Italians as anything except revolting. 

But looks aside, there’s one thing I don’t need to guess to know. 

My future husband will be like all the other men in my life: controlling.

Men in the world I live in take what they want, don’t ask for permission, and feel like they’re entitled to anything and everything. I’ve dealt with it my entire life, so it’s more amusing than anything at this point.

I guess I’m a bit non-traditional in that sense, considering most of the women around me have no problems taking orders from their fathers or husbands. But Alexei and I figured out pretty early in life that wasn’t going to work for me.

As he frequently likes to tell me, I started telling him to fuck off when I was five.

What did he expect? All the kids I hung out with were the opposite sex and at least five years older than me, so my vocabulary and mannerisms became pretty... colorful early on.

Regardless, I’m just not looking forward to having to deal with yet another man who thinks he can control me.

“Ty vresh',” Alexei accuses, lips twitching. You’re lying. 

“Konechno.” Of course. 

Of course I’m upset, but I understand what’s happening. I might have found out about it three days ago, but I’ve known it was coming for far longer.

As the only child of the great Alexei Orlov, Wolf of Moscow and Pakhan of the Russian Bratva, I’ve been told my entire life that I will one day be used as a pawn to gain more power.

It would--should--piss me off, but I’ve also been told I’m to one day take my father’s place and run his company.

So by gaining more power for him, I’m also doing the same for myself.

Not that I really give a shit about that kind of thing. I started officially working for Alexei years ago, and I already have enough money saved to never have to work again. 

But in the Bratva, there’s no getting out. I was put in this world by birth, and the only thing that will take me out is death. 

In case it isn’t obvious, I’m not a typical business woman. 

My father is an arms-dealer. 

A less than legal one, if you believe the heinous lies the media spreads about him.

He sells weapons to governments, private armies, and whoever the fuck else has the money to buy. 

He’s also built himself a shipping empire to haul said weapons around the globe, runs the drugs and prostitute rings in Moscow, and has enough real estate to rival most small countries.

It probably sounds like I don’t care, and that’s because I don’t. 

I like what I do in the sense that I have a mind for business. I went to business school and graduated at the top of my class, and I enjoy running the clubs and hotels I have. Trained by Alexei himself, I’m ruthless in negotiations, enough so that people started calling me the Wolf Cub by the time I was twenty. 

But despite being good at it, I’m not particularly fond of the aspect most people think of when they picture my career in the Bratva. I detest drugs, have never hired a prostitute, and don’t really enjoy selling arms to bad people. 

The alleyway meetups, the broken bones and bullet holes, and the blown up houses are all a little tiring to me.

Sure, it sounds exciting. And for a while, it was. I used to lose myself in the chaos, used to enjoy coming home with busted knuckles. But I honestly just got tired of it.

Right now, I don’t have to deal with it as much because Alexei’s still alive. But when he dies and I officially take over the family business, I’ll have to be more involved. Even if the thought makes me want to sigh.

I pull out my laptop and look over the financial report for Sera, my newest club in New York. As predicted, everything’s running smoothly. 

I turn the laptop around to show my father, grinning when he pulls out his reading glasses and leans closer. 

“Starik,” I tease. Old man. 

He flicks my forehead, then reads the report and nods. Then he turns to his phone, probably playing Angry Birds or some shit, and leaves me to work.

The plane ride goes by quickly, and by the time we’ve landed in Chicago, I’ve gotten ahead on my schedule for next week, slept, and changed into what I’ve chosen as the “meeting my future husband” dress.

It’s simple and sleek, the black material clinging to my curves without being obscene. It’s long enough to hide the holster on my thigh, not that I feel in any danger with four personal guards stationed near me at all times.

My heels click as I make my way down the plane stairs and across the tarmac to the waiting sedan, and once my luggage and belongings are unloaded, we head to the Italian Capo’s house.

We’re meeting here, finalizing the contract, and then Cassian and I are flying to New York. 

My new home.

“Try to look happy,” Alexei tells me, his heavily accented English almost ridiculous to hear. He speaks English only when he’s in the states, and considering he hasn’t come here since I graduated B school two years ago, he’s a little out of practice.

“I’m ecstatic,” I say, intentionally using a word I know he doesn’t understand.

His eyes narrow, because it isn’t the first time I’ve used this trick, but he doesn’t call me out on it. We continue to ride in ecstatic silence, eventually pulling up in front of the Capo’s... house.

It’s almost obscene to call it that, considering it’s fucking huge. Like obnoxiously huge.

I heave a sigh, step out of the car, and take in my surroundings. The neighborhood’s quiet, likely filled with friends of the Cosa Nostra too scared to make any noise. 

A butler--seriously, a butler--opens the door and welcomes us inside, and as soon as I step in, I have to repress the urge to roll my eyes.

The amount of dirty money in the air is suffocating. It drips off the vaulted ceilings, down the artwork on the walls, across the marble floors. It’s in the little details of the crystal chandeliers and the mahogany staircase. 

Ridiculous.

One look at Alexei’s disgusted face says he’s thinking the same thing.

Don’t get me wrong, we’re rich. Grossly so. Alexei could have ten houses just like this, if he wanted them.

But he doesn’t. He owns property all over the world, but most of it is commercial or apartment complexes--property that makes him money, in other words. This, however, is a massive waste of capital. 

The butler leads us further through the house and into an office where four men wait. 

One is immediately identifiable as their lawyer, his over-priced cologne making me have to resist the urge to sneeze. The humongous man in the corner is hired muscle, if the boxy shape of the guns under his jacket is any indication.

The man behind the desk is obviously in charge, so I’m guessing he’s the Capo. Rhysand or Rhyland or something weird like that. He takes me in silently, bright eyes not seeming to miss any details. 

That leaves the man leaning against the desk to be Cassian Azara.

My fiancé. 

Our eyes meet, his golden gaze beautiful and wild, and I have to remember to keep my expression bored. 

Because the stereotype, the horrible image I’d conjured up in my mind, couldn’t be further from the truth.

For one, he isn’t hunched-over. He stands tall, leaning a hip against his Capo’s desk with obvious confidence. But I see more than just self-assuredness in his eyes. He seems a little too rough around the edges, wild gaze almost like he’s daring someone to swing at him. 

If the confidence didn’t already make him attractive, his looks sure as hell get the job done.

His hairs long and dark and curly, half of it pulled up in a rouge manner that clashes with the suit he’s filling. He has a few days’ stubble, too, like standing still long enough to shave just isn’t an option. 

His shoulders are impossibly wide, narrowing down to trim hips and legs long enough to make him tower over everyone in the room. 

His knuckles are tattooed and split open, and there’s a cut above his eyebrow that tells me I was correct to assume he’s a fighter by nature. 

Usually, that would be a deterrent for me, but there’s something about the way he’s dressed in a dark suit jacket and crisp white shirt while also looking so untamed that has me cocking my head to study him some more. 

He studies me, too, beautiful eyes taking in the long blonde hair and bright blue eyes offset by pale skin. He looks at the dress like he can see everything underneath, and I have the strangest urge to blush. Jesus, he’s toxic.

He’s attractive, is what I’m getting at.

Which is not what I had planned on, considering I’d been trying to think of a plan on how to not sleep with him, but suddenly that’s all my mind can focus on.

His lips twitch like he knows what I’m thinking, and I realize we’ve just been standing here staring at each other for a bit too long.

So I turn back to Alexei and shrug like I’ve seen what my future husband has to offer and aren’t impressed in the slightest. 

I toss the marriage contract on the desk, grab the Capo’s fancy little fountain pen out of his hand, and sign my name on the blank above my name. 

Cassian watches, but I ignore him entirely until the ink has dried. Then I look up at him through my lashes and wink, turn on my heel, and leave the room.

~Cassian~

I think I’m in love.

Fuck.

She hasn’t said a single goddamn word, but the way she looked at me has me feeling itchy all over, anticipation and nerves rolling through me. I feel like I feel before I fight or something exciting happens.

Like I’m primed and ready and need it to happen now. 

Nesta Orlov, my bride to be, is nothing like I expected. 

I was fully braced for some meek little woman, similar to most of my friends’ wives, to come in and smile and say hello. 

But nope. Nesta didn’t smile; she came in like she was walking onto a battlefield. 

And she didn’t smile. She looked me over, clinical blue gaze noticing too much, and left me feeling winded. God, she’s beautiful. Just looking at her made me hot.

She also didn’t say hello. 

Just signed the contract and left, like this was nothing more to her than a boring business deal. I mean, that’s what it is, but... I don’t know, I expected more of a reaction. 

I’ve heard from some Underbosses that their wives cried or raged when they were forced to sign, but shit if that were the case with Nesta. She honest to God looked like she didn’t care.

Alexei, on the other hand, does look a little pissed about the situation, but I couldn’t care less of the old man’s opinion. He’s signed the contract, so to me, he’s irrelevant. Regardless, he and Rhys proceed to iron out some of the details about the wedding and other shit I’m not paying attention to.

Then they shake hands, and the Russian warlord turns to leave. 

He reaches the door and looks over his shoulder at me, and there’s amusement in his cold gaze as he mutters, “Udachi.” Good luck. 

As soon as he’s gone, Roman and the lawyer follow, leaving me alone with Rhys. 

He slides the contract to me, and I sign my name next to hers, making this shit official. 

“This should be interesting,” he comments, vague as usual. 

I sigh, because I have a feeling interesting isn’t going to cover it. 

_____________________________________________________

NEXT CHAPTER

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[gwyns]

I'm surprised I haven't seen anyone draw parallels between Feyre leaving Tamlin for her Mate to Elain leaving Azriel for her Mate. (Ignoring the fact I hate Rhysand, the books obviously want me to think he's the best person ever so I'll just pretend). Because that's what I see happening.

Elain and Azriel are so clearly rebounds for one another. Elain's still grieving her human love and life, and Azriel is still hung up on Mor. They're both quiet and available, so they jump to each other. That's it. The Azriel POV was purely about what he wants. How he wants to fuck her and taste her. He's just sex to her.

Even if E/riels had a more convincing case, it's not like SJM hasn't pulled a SIKE on us before. If she goes anywhere with E/riel, she'll undoubtedly pull it back. SJM doesn't take Mating bonds lightly, and she's stated that she loves Lucien. And if anyone deserves the happiness of a bond, it's him.

Feyre and Rhys, and Cassian and Nesta, all had relationships/lovers before Mating. Elain "liking" Az now, (which we're not even clear on), doesn't really mean much.

I'd like to hear your thoughts! You're so good at this, and you always explain my thoughts so perfectly. Love and light 💕💕💕

honestly there are quite a few feysand/elucien parallels that people either don't see or choose to ignore.

rhysand was first presented as a villain to feyre, the same could be applied to lucien just bc of his envolvement with tamlin (that he wrongfully gets blamed for btw idk why e/riels love blaming tamlin's mistakes on lucien). feyre was engaged before she went to rhys, elain was engaged before she met lucien. both were/are? still hung up on their former fiances. feysand as a couple represents the night, elucien would represent (at least in part) day. it's literally night and day with them. they're similar but also wholly their own pairing, it's fascinating to me.

anyway i think i will use this ask to spill some of my e/riel opinions sorry about that! alright let's start off with this controversial statement: i don't think e/riel was ever meant to be endgame.

i've seen it said a few times over the years that sarah changed her mind about elucien and while that's possible bc she also previously changed her mind on lucien and nesta one has to ask themselves..... if she wanted to write a mate bond rejection why didn't she stick with her original plan of lucien and nesta being mates? she's said herself that they wouldn't work but she chose to change lucien's mate to someone who compliments him better, and it's to feyre's other sister no less. that tells me lucien is important and powerful, he's mated to one of the sisters, one of the key players of the entire series.

another point is we can assume (and we could be wrong, let me put this here before someone yells at me or vague blogs about it) that sjm had an elucien endgame in mind when writing acowar, right? and when she was touring for that book hadn't she already started work on acofas? and we know that she's never on social media, so if she had an elucien endgame in mind when she wrote all of the supposed e/riel "evidence" where does that leave us?

drama. tension. conflict. angst.

i think that's what it all comes down to. people will say that elucien was a front while e/riel is the true endgame but... it all seems a bit easy, doesn't it? e/riel is right in your face while elucien is silently brewing in the background. what if the bait and switch isn't elucien, but e/riel?

sarah has shown us before that she likes to use her characters as ways for her other characters to end up with their endgame matches. for example, without tamlin, feyre wouldn't have met rhys. and moving over to throne of glass for a second, if not for chaol, aelin wouldn't have met rowan. and in turn, if aelin hadn't given yrene the money she needed in tab, chaol wouldn't have met her.

are the e/riel scenes romantically coded? yes, probably. i'm not saying they aren't, some people picked up on it but i personally didn't get that vibe myself, especially in acowar, but acofas kinda blurred the lines a bit. but even then, i didn't think they'd work out and i still don't understand the arguments that are supposed to be in their favor from that book. elain says she doesn't want a male so that excludes lucien but not azriel somehow? that line means she doesn't want any fae, she wants a human man, she wants graysen. then we have lucien saying he can't even stand to be in the same room as elain which i never read as a "oh i hate this person" kinda way. no, it's bc the whole situation between them is awkward and it obviously makes both of them uncomfortable. it doesn't help when literally all of the inner circle is constantly around them, and being in the night court in general doesn't give them the privacy to get to know each other.

some people like to ask why build e/riel up at all if they're not going to be together? one thing i've always loved about sjm's books is how she can write relationships. now, let's say you meet someone irl and you like them, eventually maybe fall in love with them, and fail to notice how they're not good for you. maybe everyone around you can see it, but you don't. you want a relationship and you're in a decent one, it should work out. like they're not a bad person, this relationship just isn't right for you in the long run. why waste your time? it's life. sometimes things are good for you at a certain point in time but not later on. sometimes you just end up in a relationship that was never good for you. sometimes you fall out of love with someone. you're constantly learning and adapting to things and that's my stance on e/riel. i think they're both looking for companionship and they're the "safest" and most available option.

taking it back to acofas, azriel was relived to not have to get elain a gift and was still gazing longingly at mor. now in acosf he's avoiding talking about her while wanting to fuck elain and getting defensive when helion mentions mor. he's not over her. he's not going to just completely forget 500 years of pining bc elain showed up, especially when they haven't even helped one another to move on. if they had, we would have seen the proof of that. not just "oh she's hot we both want sex", that doesn't make a healthy relationship.

as for elain, she's been taught she has to act a certain way her entire life. she has to downplay her trauma and emotions to appease others so they don't worry about her. maybe she's even had visions involving lucien that upset/scare her somehow and she's reaching out for something else. i think they're both lonely and desperate (at least on az's end) for someone that they ultimately are drawn to the wrong people.

as for the lack of elucien development... this is how i see it. if they're endgame, why would sarah have all of their big moments happen off screen or as a throwaway line in acosf? elain is getting a book, we know this, and with how much of the story is tied to lucien and how much is left unresolved with him, we can also assume he'd get a pov at some point. so imo it makes sense for the fact we got little to no development for them in acosf. no, she wants a huge wedge between them so we can watch them come together. the payoff will be that much sweeter. kinda similar to how she put a wedge between nessian before acosf, sure they had more development in acowar than elucien but i think that's bc sarah knew they'd get the first spinoff. she had to give them that development whereas elucien can wait, a bit longer. it's frustrating yes but i do think we'll get something in acotar 5.

maybe i'm an optimistic fool, maybe sarah did at one point have an endgame in mind for them, but i find it hard to believe she wouldn't see how wrong they are for each other in the long run. she's very good at showing us how well characters fit together with just a few lines.

[highfaelucien]

I completely agree with how you feel towards azriel. Thinking about azriel’s character now vs how I used to view him during acomaf times is just... sad and so so so much more complex. Part of me still wants to love him for the character that was presented to us in acomaf and other small good moments, like his friendship with nesta. And then the other part of me is disgusted, disappointed, and honestly kind of terrified of who he may become if sjm allows him to continue acting predatorily/toxic. The whole mor/az situation really fucked me up. As someone who is also a lesbian and an abuse survivor, it broke my heart to watch the situation unfold in acowar. It still hurts seeing many readers (and sometimes even sjm) take az’s side and paint mor as some sort of liar/two faced character that is playing everyone. I kept thinking that things would be fixed in future books, but instead az has grown worse and mor was, once again, sidelined and written out as a character. And honestly... as much as I love the idea of gwyn x azriel ... I think his books would need a lot more focus on his own recovery/growth and not center on a romantic relationship. If anything, I hope it’s written as friends to lovers so az has a better way of interacting and forming relationships with women. Because right now... well, that shit is borderline predatory and isn’t coming across well. And I really really do not want that for him. Basically, azriel deserves a better arc than what has been written for him. I miss him :( he used to be a character that made me feel safe and now :/ idk anymore

I'm going to quote parts of this/chop it up and reply to them a chunk at a time. because there's a lot going on here and I want to try and reply to as much as I can because I resonate with.....all of it. Please forgive me for the length of this.

I completely agree with how you feel towards azriel. Thinking about azriel’s character now vs how I used to view him during acomaf times is just... sad and so so so much more complex.

He feels like a different character? There was always an anger simmering under the calm surface, we knew that. But it was an anger born of love, deep down, and the desire to protect his family, and his court, at the expense of himself. Az was always the first to volunteer himself for dangerous missions, to spare the others.

Now that anger is directed at his family, and at the world, for not giving him what he feels he 'deserves'. That has NEVER been Azriel. Azriel's deepest issues and insecurities have always stemmed from the feeling of being unworthy, and undeserving of anything.

She's just made him into......Every other dude in this series tbh. Snarling, and possessive, and wanting to fuck anything in a skirt that moves.

Azriel was actually somewhat of an original, complex character initially. It's unusual that we see trauma affect men in the way it did Az. Usually it makes them angry, and vengeful, and eager to prove they are the alpha etc. Seeing them withdraw, and think less of themselves/that they're unworthy is something not explored often enough. But bye bye nuance hello #Drama.

Part of me still wants to love him for the character that was presented to us in acomaf and other small good moments, like his friendship with nesta.

I feel this. I found a lot of comfort in Az's character. Particularly the way he reacted with Mor. I was a big fan of their relationship, and I wrote a few 'missing scenes' style fics in the gap between ACOMAF and ACOWAR. One of them was where Az went to her when she had pushed everyone else away, including Cassian, and comforted and calmed her.

I hate that Maas took that away from Mor. I hate that Az no longer does that for her. I hate that Az was the one to betray her along with Rhys and bring her abuser into her safe space behind her back. I hate that he is no longer a symbol of calm, stable, dependable comfort and support for Mor, but is instead a threat. I HATE it.

Every now and then Az has lovely, gentle moments - his friendship with Nesta is a good example, and something I hoped we'd see. But also quieter times with Rhys, and their similarities being explored. And I adored the flying lessons with Feyre in ACOWAR, and the training he did with Cassian and the others in ACOFS.

But then she goes and twists him and does something else that just makes me want to fucking scream. Like the High Lord scene where he 'frightened' Mor. And his entire POV chapter which is frankly fucking gross.

And then the other part of me is disgusted, disappointed, and honestly kind of terrified of who he may become if sjm allows him to continue acting predatorily/toxic.

I agree.

I don't know how she can write a series that explores the effects of emotional abuse so well with Feyre and Tamlin...And then write what she did with Az?

The possession to a traumatised, still impressionable and desperate young woman, who likely finds the same comfort and safety in him that Mor did. Before that got shot to fucking pieces.

He sounds like a whiny toddler 'Cassian has a mate, and Rhys has a mate, where is mine!?!?!?!?' I DESERVE Elain, because I'm your brother and you guys have her sisters and what the FUCK. Who let that shit get published holy mother of god.

It's just...It's so unhealthy? Like, not even talking ship wars here (which I'm aware are rampant, and which I'm trying my best to stay away from). But that just.

How can that ever be a healthy foundation for a relationship? A man who thinks that he deserves, not only to be in a relationship with her, but to be bonded to her. Not because of HER, not because of who she is, or how she makes him feel. No. Purely because her sisters are mated to his brothers?

The whole thing made me feel so uncomfortable. It's predatory and toxic, just as you said. It's not right, it's not fair. Forget alliances and Lucien, even if none of that was a factor, that sort of thinking is still not right. And it's completely unfair to Elain.

But it also just. It didn't read like Azriel. The first part, where he struggles to sleep, and pushes himself until he passes out, and the insight that his shadows are basically hovering beside him screaming SELF CARE YOU DUMB BITCH at all times was very pleasing.

And the part where he goes to Clotho and leaves an anonymous gift for Gwyn. No fanfair. No audience. No pressure on either of them to react/perform. That felt like Az, too.

But everything in the middle. Everything with Elain, was just...Gross and out of character. And this is not because I dislike E/riel as a ship. I could get on board with it, tbh, if it wasn't written the way it was.

But it's not about ships, for me. It's just. Everything felt out of character. The predatory way he was with her. The fact he lies awake and gets himself off to fantasies of her. How apparently quickly he was aroused by putting a necklace on her. Idk, maybe it's my ace ignorance, but that doesn't sound normal/healthy to me.

Nor does him having to leave a room because he can scent her mating bond with Lucien. Or not being able to control himself to sit and eat dinner with her?

This is the same dude who has, apparently, been in love with Mor for 500 solid years, and who never did a damned thing about it. Who always kept himself in check. Even while she's had other lovers. But he can't control himself through one dinner with Elain?

It just. It doesn't feel like him. It feels like...Honestly not even Cassian. It feels like Tamlin on horny, predatory steroids. And that's not something I ever wanted to see from Azriel's POVs.

She could have explored a darker side to him without making it sexual? And misogynistic. And having him treating Elain as little more than a fucking object that he feels entitled to because 'everyone else got one, where's mine?'. What the FUCK???

The more I write it the more angry I get.

Because SJM has consistently put Az in the position of saving women when they were in danger? He was the one who found Mor near death at Autumn. He was the one who rescued Gwyn from her attackers during the war. He was the one to retrieve Elain when she was taken.

She always puts him in this position and, for better or worse, presents him as a safety figure for these women. The first person who they saw come for them, and fight for them, and protect them.

And on the inside she makes him this vile, predatory monster who just thinks constantly about fucking them? Who isn't actually safe at all?? It's sad. And it's infuriating. Because this isn't about ships anymore. This is about female survivors who have an apparent safe person who's presented as almost as dangerous as the people who attacked them in the first place. And that makes me feel so sick and sad that we've gotten here.

It still hurts seeing many readers (and sometimes even sjm) take az’s side and paint mor as some sort of liar/two faced character that is playing everyone. I kept thinking that things would be fixed in future books, but instead az has grown worse and mor was, once again, sidelined and written out as a character.

This is yet another vile thing SJM has done to queer readers with this whole fiasco. Because it puts me in a position where I want to call out her shitty writing, and what she's done to Mor - sidelining her as soon as she became queer. Undermining her power and her strength. Undermining her role as the survivor to look up to. Saying her power is truth but then making her seem like a liar. Which is all shitty, shitty, shitting writing.

But I'm also a queer person. And I will always always ALWAYS want to defend a queer person's right to remain closeted. Regardless of their reasons for doing so. But in this case it's a concern for their safety/a fear of how those around them will react. And I will NEVER condemn that. I will never say Az is suffering more than Mor for her being closeted. I will never call Mor a liar/a manipulator/two-faced when all she's doing is trying to survive.

I WILL condemn SJM for making this a scenario. For putting homophobia in her world purely to cause pain for queer characters, and drama for her straight ones. And for sidelining Mor as soon as she can't write graphic scenes with her fucking men because now she's a lesbian so we best get her off the page so the guys can get their cocks out some more.

And honestly... as much as I love the idea of gwyn x azriel ... I think his books would need a lot more focus on his own recovery/growth and not center on a romantic relationship. If anything, I hope it’s written as friends to lovers so az has a better way of interacting and forming relationships with women. Because right now... well, that shit is borderline predatory and isn’t coming across well. And I really really do not want that for him.

This is going to sound sarcastic but I actually mean it fully and completely genuinely: 95% of the drama inducing problems in this series could be fixed with some fucking therapy.

But I agree with you. I think it's high time Azriel worked on his own issues. Even if they've apparently made a complete 180 from what they were in ACOMAF.

I...Like the concept of Gwyn/Azriel, but I'm not sold on the ship. Not with the way Maas has been writing Azriel lately. That kind of man shouldn't be with any woman right now. But especially not a rape survivor who sees him as one of the first men she's been able to trust in a long time.

Basically, azriel deserves a better arc than what has been written for him. I miss him :( he used to be a character that made me feel safe and now :/ idk anymore

"he used to be a character that made me feel safe" - This shit hit me like a tonne of bricks because this is EXACTLY how I feel about Az, too. You just managed to say it in a few words instead of 12 pages of rambling, like I do.

And I think this was intention. Azriel was presented as a very dependable character. He rescued Mor, and was respectful enough to keep his distance, despite his feelings, for 500 fucking years. Because he didn't think she was ready/interested.

He had a very calm, and calming air about him. Always in control of himself. Without the expected bursts of aggression and temper we'd seen from...Every other male character in this series. He was stable, and solid, and that was comforting. An anchor. And someone who would quietly, and without fuss, seek out Mor/others when they needed someone to talk to or comfort him.

That was a very soothing, reassuring presence in the book, I felt. And now she's made him seem...volatile, and unstable. With this dangerous anger that he can't control, that he uses not to protect, but to intimidate, and to fuel his entitlement and desires.

it's just sad. It's sad that she's taken this away from Mor, but also from other survivors who found comfort and safety in Az. Because I'm sure we weren't alone in that regard.

I miss him. And I mourn the character he was, and feel anger for the character he should have been. but instead he's become yet another possessive, entitled, snarling cardboard cutout dude like...everyone else.

And I ache for the Az/Mor dynamic that we had in ACOMAF. Even without it becoming romantic, there was no reason for that to be destroyed/ruined.

She could have written it that Az is the only one who knows about her sexuality, and that he pretends he's still in love with her as a shield/buffer, so no one looks too closely/to protect her and make her feel comfortable.

Instead she turned it into a soap opera style drama. And wrote it almost as though her sexuality was her cheating on him? Denying him what he deserved. And now she's just...just pussyfooting around it. And apparently he's just. Just moved on. Without them having any kind of conversation or closure at all. He just wanks off to the thought of Elain instead of Mor, now, problem solved /s

I miss what they were. I miss what he was to Mor. I miss when she had that support system, and that safety net. I miss when he protected her. And looked out for her. And understood her in a way that no one else, not even Rhys, did.

Mor deserved that. Azriel deserved that. WE deserved that. And she nuked it for some fucking twisted drama that punishes a lesbian because a man is thirsting after her. it's a fucking disgrace. I'm so fucking done with SJM, y'all. So fucking done.

[propshophannah]

Am I the only one who thought the book had a lot of sexist undertones? Like preemptively modifying your body to MAYBE one day give birth to your man's (male's) babies? I feel like the IC never tried to let Nesta heal in her own way, they just forced her to do things they thought would be good for her, while demeaning her along the way. And the shield thing around Feyre is very reminiscent of how Tamlin treated her in ACOTAR... I don't know, a lot of the book just made me uncomfortable :/

Hi Nonnie!

First, I want to say that I’m sorry parts of this book made you uncomfortable. That’s never fun. Second…

I think we can reasonably say that no matter what we’re looking at, we can find sexism if we want to. Now that doesn’t mean that some things are not just blatantly sexist. I think with this book there is a conversation to be had about what some of us read as sexist and what some of us read as not sexist or even pro different-forms-of-feminism.

It’s sort of in the eye of the beholder.

It’s also a fantasy world that has developed under a patriarchy. So some things are just as sexist as they “should be” because that’s the world building, right? 

So, like, territorial Fae males is fully explained in the world building and is therefore fully acceptable for the books, and is also, frankly, a kink. SJM caters to that kink. So we know we’re going to get that in these books. Most if their shit is NOT okay for planet Earth. (That’s why some of us actively seek it and enjoy reading it in books.)

So let’s get in it!

Nesta modifying her body

Now as far as Nesta modifying her own body to have children one day, I don’t see that as sexist at all. Because the alternative to her altering her own anatomy is her pausing for a moment and asking Cassian if she can strip him of his faerie race and make him something else that doesn’t have wings. If that happened, we’d be getting into race and identity and all kinds of other shit that is hella problematic. 

So, no. Nesta wanting to one day birth her own children is not sexist. Nesta deciding to alter her own anatomy so that she can safely birth her own children with Cassian, is not sexist. (Now if Cassian did it without permission, then we’d have a problem!)

The IC making Nesta heal their way

Now THIS is a conversation on choice. Not sexism. Rhys has long touted that his court is a court of choices and all that. So forcing Nesta to either go to the human lands (where she’ll very likely die) or go to the House of Wind (where she can’t readily leave) and train and work everyday, is a problem. If you want to make an argument that this is the equivalent of Tamlin locking Feyre in the house, I won’t stop you. I would only ask that you consider the nuance. 

And the nuance here takes us back to world building. They don’t have psychiatric wards or mental health services or rehab centers like we do on planet Earth. Nesta needed help. AND LET ME BE REAL CLEAR: I’m not here to debate what kind of help she needed. (We could run in circles all day long debating that.) What I am saying is that they recognized that: 

Nesta’s behavior was not good, 

that THEY WERE ENABLING HER, 

that they actually had the power to do something about her situation

They do not live in a democracy. They live in a monarchy. They have and hold absolute power and rule. And while that whole intervention—or whatever the fuck that was—was absolutely TERRRRIBLE, they had every right to do what they did. Why? Because it fit the world building.

They acted like rich parents fed up with a wild teenager so they cut her off and gave her a choice between getting kicked out of the house or going to work on grandpa’s farm in the middle of BFE. Essentially that’s what they did.

Do I agree with it? Eh... they didn’t have a lot of options and SOMETHING needed to happen (I’d have been VERY ANGRY had they left her to die like that). Do I like it? FUCK NO. They went about it all wrong and it was shitty.

Abandoning her in the human lands would have been fucking murder. But do you HONESTLY, HONESTLY think Feyre would have done that??? ALSO, LET’S BE REAL: Nesta would not have stayed there long because EVERY HIGH LORD knows about her power and would want her in their court. That whole shit about the human lands likely was NOT real and was a scare tactic. It was a shitty scare tactic. But again, it fit the world building. AND Nesta’s character (cuz it worked, she didn’t ask to go to the human lands). 🤷🏻‍♀️ 

This isn’t directed at you Nonnie, but what did people think would happen? There would suddenly be psych wards and rehab centers and Feyre and Rhys would start acting with compassion and kindness and like they themselves had gone to therapy for decades and suddenly be able to convince Nesta to sign herself into one of those facilities? 

I get it’s annoying. And it’s infuriating. And some of their bullshit talking out their ass moments made me want to throw the book across the damn room. Because that’s not how you act to people in the middle of a downward spiral/crisis like Nesta was. 

But here’s the thing: they have no basis for knowing better. They don’t have mental health services. Gwyn mentioned a priestess who counsels them, but that’s NOT the same thing as a therapist or psychologist or psychiatric NP or psychiatrist.

So what did people expect?

Also. Do you think for one second, Nesta would have responded well to compassionate attempts to get her help? She hadn’t hit rock bottom yet (where compassion would have worked wonderfully *depending* on the type of rock bottom she hit). She would have seen any attempt like that as pity and she would have rebelled.

Here’s how I get over being annoyed with Feysand and Amren for that dumb af “intervention” moment: I remind myself that

They recognized she couldn’t keep going down the path she was going.

They recognized that they loved her too much to let that happen (Feyre at least). 

They recognized that they held ABSOLUTE POWER over her in their realm

They recognized that they needed to put her in a place where she had a purpose, a routine, where she couldn’t fall back on old habits, and where she had the option to talk to other trauma survivors (if she chose to) 

That’s what they knew. Putting her in the House was their only choice. So they did. And guess what? It worked. 

Now, the forcing her to train thing was BULLSHIT. You can’t force other people to change, they have to want that for themselves. But guess what? Turns out Nesta wanted to change. Because she wasn’t against training. She was only against doing it in a place where she could be judged. 🤷🏻‍♀️ 

Also, exercising is FUCKING FANTASTIC for mental health. (Maas knows that.)

Now did they demean her along the way? Yes. 

Was it shitty? HELL, YES! 

Did Rhys finally learn his lesson that night with the nightmare? He sure af did! 

Did some people in the fandom expect too much from Amren? Yep. Lady was never going to show affection or be nice to Nesta. Amren shows respect. When you respect Amren, she respects you. That’s her ENTIRE character. We’re three books in with Amren. Idk why people are still butthurt about her personality. Like. You can’t get mad at Amren for not being a table when she’s always been a chair. (Doesn’t mean we have to like her behavior or anyone else’s. But it does mean that we only have ourselves to blame when she acts the way she always has.) This same logic applied to Mor and Feyre and Elain etc.

Also. Did them acting like assholes drive the plot forward? IT SURE AF DID! If they had acted differently the book wouldn’t be as good as it is.

The shield around Feyre

If you want to make the argument about how this is a Tamlin thing to do, I won’t stop you. But again, I’ll ask you to consider the nuance and the world building. 

In a world where anyone can scent a pregnancy, would you not try to hide your ruler’s pregnant scent and body from enemies and potential attacks? I would! 

Is it a little territorial? Yes. 

Does that make sense for the world building and what we know about Fae males? Yep! 

Could Feyre have told Rhys to cut the shit? Yes. 

Is it possible Feyre *maybe* use the lie of Rhys and Helion(?) having fun with shield as an excuse to have it around herself? Yeah. I’d probably do it. 

Look, if Feyre hadn’t wanted the shield, it would have been gone. They said it was a compromise, but you can’t tell me Rhys would force a shield around her against her own will (or that she, The Cursebreaker, wouldn’t bust through it in a heartbeat).

Sorry if this comes off as salty, Nonnie! I don’t mean to be. I just don’t really understand why people get mad at stuff in books *that’s perfectly reasonable* for the world building when the alternative that they would prefer would be out of character, out the world building, or create plot holes etc. 

Hope this helps!

[forever-rogue]

Hi, idk if you taking requests for Cassian but if yes, could you write Cassian x fem!reader where she is like part of his crew, pilot or something and he slowly catches feelings for her? thanks

In honor of it being May 4th tomorrow and my undying love of Cassian Andor, enjoy!

»»————-　♡　————-««

Cassian was...an interesting man. He was not a cold man, not a cruel man (unless duty required it), nor was he unfriendly per se. He was just...tired, battle hardened over a lifetime of rebellion, and that often to led to him as coming off as unfriendly. But you knew better; you’d been through the a lot of the same. When you joined his crew and he didn’t welcome you with open arms, but rather a small hello and set you up with some work, you didn’t think anything of it.

But over time, even after you had proven yourself time and time again, and had become fast friends with everyone else, Cassian still didn’t seem to be any more open with you. You didn’t expect to be best friends with him or anything of the sort, but you expected a little more than complete indifference. Unless he had to speak to you, he didn’t say much more than words required; if he had to chance to not work with you he took, he didn’t even give you more of his time than necessary.

At first, it didn’t bother you...but the longer and longer it lasted you started to wonder if maybe it was personal. If maybe he didn’t like you after all. You had never given him a reason not to like you, and you quite liked him. He was a handsome man, in a rugged and rough way, smart and witty, and a skilled solider, and when he was around the seemingly small number of people he enjoyed, he had a velvet laugh and a smile that could dazzle anyone.

One afternoon, after coming back from a small mission, you were in the hangar cleaning weapons and blasters, when you spied Cassian by himself, for once without his shadow K2, moving about the ship and taking inventory of everything. As you finished shining the blaster, you contemplated going and trying to talk to him, seeing if he would even speak to you. Setting the blaster down, you slid off the crate you’d been sitting on and trailed after him.

Once you entered the ship, he looked in your direction for a moment, giving you a slight nod before turning back to his list. You let out a small huff before moving right next to him and leaning against the counter and watching him. He seemed unphased by your appearance, but, unless you were mistaken, it seemed like he was making a pointed effort to stare at his datapad.

“Cassian?” you asked quietly, giving him a soft look as you wondered what he would say in response. He turned to you, his dark eyes meeting yours, an unreadable expression in them.

“What’s wrong?” he was perplexed as you to why you were coming to him, when you usually resorted to asking the others for help. A bit of the nerves were settling in his stomach as he trying not to let his gaze linger too long on yours.

“I was just...is there a reason you don’t like me?” you blurted out as his eyes widened in surprise at you rather direction question, “I just...you seem to like everyone else, but me and I just have no clue as to what I did wrong, or if something happened.”

“I don’t have any issues with you,” he said quickly, swallowing the nervous lump in his throat. He wondered if it would ever get to this point - if you would ever ask him what was wrong. Part of him had hoped it wouldn’t. Part of him was glad that it had, “nothing’s wrong.”

“Then why do...” you trailed off with a sigh as he set his datapad down and turned to face you, “then why do you treat me like I don’t exist?”

He studied you quietly for a few long moments, and you wondered if you had set him off somehow, causing him to get angry or annoyed. But expression softened and before you knew it, Cassian put his hands on either of side of your face and crashed his lips onto yours. It was a searing kiss - hungry and frenzied. It surprised you for only a moment until you kissed him back with just as much intensity, wrapping your arms around his neck, and carding a hand through his dark hair.

It was enough to leave you breathless, drunk on his touch and his kisses, and you only pulled back from him, reluctantly, when you need finally needed some air. Cassian gave you an expectant look, almost as if he was unsure if you felt the same way, questioning if he should or shouldn’t have kissed you.

“I don’t hate you,” he said quietly, almost as though he felt the need to make sure you clearly understood, “I...ugh...”

“Yeah,” you beamed at him, “I gathered that much, Cass.”

He laughed lightly at himself before giving you a small smile, “I’m not...great with these kinds of things.”

“It’s okay,” you put a hand on his cheek, offering him a gentle touch that he leaned into, “we’ll figure it out together.”

[raveismysublime]

I am attempting to right a fic

So I am re-reading ACOWAR and am at the part where Nesta and Elaine go visit Graysen to try and get him to help the humans or something like that and Nesta is beating up Graysen for hurting Elaine. 

So my mind wanders and goes... what if Cassian was there to see this? and then.... what if Cassian saw this from his POINT OF VIEW!!!!!!! So I’m like let me write this, 

I have never wrote fan fiction besides some Lunar chronicles shit on Wattpad and Lesbian smut (don’t ask, it helped with my sexuality tho) SO please don’t come at me if you hate this 

I just really wanted this from Cassian's perspective, like watching Nesta be a bad bitch instead of a rude bitch ya kno? Idk but here yall go 

I apologize in advance if this is shitty ( it probably will be, please don’t hate I love u guys) and will probably never right a fic again but ok enough talking here ya go

Im gonna be taking parts of ACOWAR and typing them in so it looks believable 

**we’re gonna imagine that Cassian went with them for this to work okay**

-------------------

“So only the rich and chosen will walk through the gates?” Rhys asked, arching a brow. “I can’t imagine the aristocracy being content to work your land and fish in your lake or butcher your meat.”

This meeting was going nowhere, thought Cassian as Rhysand argued with the close-minded human boy. The fact this pitiful man thinks his mere father and some iron were going to protect him and the human lands from Hybern’s wrath was stupid, laughable even.

How he was able to land a Archeron’s sister was beyond what Cassian could think of. For once, he would agree with Nesta on the idea of this marriage. 

“We have plenty of workers here to do that.”  so the little boy speaks. Cassian wanted to retort, he wanted to desperately put this pathetic weasle of a man in his place but bit his tongue. This was not his fight, this was Elaine’s and at the moment Rhysands. He would not intervene. 

Because if he did intervene this whole place would come crumbling down and weasel boy and his father would be crying in their underwear. 

But Jurian said to the lords, “I fought beside your ancestor. And he would be ashamed if you locked out those who needed it. You would spit on his grave to do so. I hold a position of trust with Hybern. One word from me, and I will make sure his legion takes a visit here. To you.” 

“You’ll threaten to bring the very enemy you seek to protect us from?” Weasle boy said. 

 Jurian shrugged. “I can also convince Hybern to steer clear. He trusts me that much. You let in those people … I will do my best to keep his armies far away.” 

He gave Rhys a look, daring him to doubt it.

 We were still too stunned to even try to look neutral.

Cassian wondered if the elder lord might be the one who could actually be reasoned with. Especially as Graysen said to Elain, “Take that ring off.”

 Elain’s fingers curved into a fist. “No.” Ugly. This was about to get ugly in the worst way— 

“Take. It. Off.”

How humiliating, Cassian thought, to Elaine for everyone to witness this absurd man. If only he could reach around, grab weasel man by the neck, pin him against the wall and shove two of his knives into each of his balls-

That’s enough,” Rhys said, his voice lethally calm. “The lady keeps the ring, if she wants it. Though none of us will be particularly sad to see it go. Females tend to prefer gold or silver to iron.”

Graysen leveled a seething look at Rhysand. “Is this the start of it? You Fae males will come to take our women? Are your own not fuckable enough?” 

That was the last of it that Cassian was willing to endure. Was this man stupid? He should not be alive at this very second. He should be drowned in crimson and tears. 

“Watch your tongue, boy,” his father said. At Least he had some sense to shut his son up. Elain turned white at the coarse language.

Graysen only said to her, “I am not marrying you. Our engagement is over. I will take whatever people occupy your lands. But not you. Never you.”

Fucking bastard. To even speak to a women like this, to even dare 

He was going to rip out his throat 

Tears began sliding down Elain’s face, their scent filling the room with salt.

 Nesta stepped forward. Then another step. And another. 

Cassian watched her every move, every breath and the anger etched across her brow. He could do nothing but stare at her movements 

He could do nothing but stare at Nesta

Until she was in front of Graysen, faster than anyone could see. 

He watched her dress swish against her curves, he watched her fingers 

Until Nesta smacked him hard enough that his head snapped to the side.

He made a sharp intake of his breath. He had only ever seen her mad, furious, bitching to him or any other male. Never, never had he seen her so calm and burning towards someone else.

To him, she was snarky and he snarked back

To this man, she was calm and collected as her eyes burned into his face. Cassian would have never wanted to be on the receiving end of that look. 

She was devastating. 

 “You never deserved her,” Nesta snarled into the stunned silence as Graysen cupped his face and swore, bending over. Nesta only looked back at me. Rage, unfiltered and burning, roiled in her eyes. But her voice was stone-cold as she said to me, “I assume we’re done here.”

The power uttered in those words. The power in her

All Cassian could do was watch her. Watch her defend her sister to no end, watch as the poor boy looked into her eyes with fear. 

 Feyre gave her a wordless nod. And proud as any queen, Nesta took Elain’s arm and led her from the guardhouse. Mor trailed behind, guarding their backs as they entered the veritable field of weapons and snarling hounds waiting outside 

He enjoyed watching someone else take in the brunt of Nesta’s words and actions. It was entertaining to him to watch another male be weakened by her. He could get used to seeing that quite often. 

Nesta, Nesta, Nesta 

He couldn’t help laughing to himself.

She looked so beautiful when she was angry, he admitted to a small part of himself.

Gods, this women. 

-----

OKAY i know that was probably so bad but I tried? idk tell me what ya’ll thinkkkk i just really wanted this written somewere but admittidly it sounded better in my head haha 

I am just craving so much Nessian stuff at this moment like I am going to BURST where is this book. 

[andorerso]

This fic is a follow up to this and this.

Everyone who wanted to see more of the bodyguard AU... here’s the third and final installment at last! I don’t know if anyone’s still interested given how long it’s been but I’m happy I finished it at least.

The details of this are *handwaves* vague. Like I said in the first installment, idk why Cassian needs a bodyguard so none of this makes too much sense, and please don't look too hard into it. The point of this is really just some Rebelcaptain goodness.

@700teacups it’s been ages but you’d asked me on the previous part to tag you if I ever did a follow-up so if you’re still interested... it’s here!

“You idiot!” Jyn snarled as she threw open the door to Cassian’s home, storming in like a hurricane. Fury thrummed in her veins as she swept her gaze across the room, searching for the man she wanted to throttle – and there he was. Fucking Marlowe.

The man who lost Cassian.

Already on the edge of exploding, her last shred of self-control snapped at the sight of him. He barely had time to react before she threw him against the wall.

“How incompetent are you?!” She yelled into his face, taking immense pleasure in the way his eyes rounded out in terror. “I trusted you with him. I recommended you. How hard is it to do your damn job and not let your client get kidnapped?!”

She shook his shoulders for good measure, trying to find some semblance of an answer to how in the hell he could screw up so badly. She’d never made an error so grave. She never would have – if it was up to her, Cassian would have – he would still –

Damn it all to hell. Jyn waited, staring expectantly at Marlowe as he opened and closed his mouth a few times. He looked apologetic, at least, not to mention terrified in the face of her anger. Good.

“I – I –”

“What – what? You what? You’re an idiot? An unqualified buffoon, a good for nothing amateur?”

“Erso.” Another voice spoke up, and for the first time, she realized they weren’t alone in the room. Draven was there, along with, apparently, the FBI. Sitting around, talking, when they should be going after Cassian and whoever took him.

And – Kay. Jyn avoided looking at him.

Abruptly, she let go of Marlowe’s collar who stumbled as she stepped away and turned to face her boss. Draven was watching her with his typical expression – blank face with a hint of disappointment and chagrin. Warning her to behave.

Fuck all that.

“Did they contact you yet? What are they after? Is it money? Can we give it to them?”

She knew that was not how it worked – you never gave money to kidnappers. But what did it matter if that was the safest way to extract Cassian from this whole situation? What did it matter if his life was on the line?

“Slow down, Erso,” Draven said with infuriating calmness. “You’re not privy to that information since you’re not his bodyguard anymore.”

“Yeah, and that idiot,” she jerked a thumb back at Marlowe, “let him get kidnapped. So.”

Draven didn’t acknowledge her words. “We’re handling it. You can leave.”

Jyn stared at him incredulously, offended at the suggestion. Did he really think she would just leave?

“You can’t be serious.”

“You’re not in on this, Erso.”

She pointed a finger at him, her ire rising. They could not expect her to just sit around and do nothing. “You can’t shut me out of this. I was his bodyguard!”

“Was.”

“For months. For months, Draven, I know him better than any of these fools.” She threw a dirty look at the agents around them, still avoiding looking at Kay.

“Don’t you think that makes you a liability? Don’t you think you’re too emotionally compromised to deal with this? Storming in here like an enraged girlfriend.”

He threw the word out like dirt and it hit the bullseye. Jyn stumbled back a step as if struck.

She said nothing. She knew what it looked like, she couldn’t argue with that. She knew they talked behind her back for weeks at the agency after she left Cassian’s charge. She knew the whispers and rumors weren’t so far from the truth – nothing had happened between them but not for a lack of wanting on her part. She knew if this was anyone else, she would have calmly considered the situation and inquired to see if she could help; she would not have thrown his bodyguard against the wall for failing him. She would not be paralyzed by fear, she would not hear the blood rushing in her ear, she would not clench her fists and her jaw to keep from screaming.

Jyn looked away from Draven’s piercing gaze, staring at the floor in shame and embarrassment. She was too exposed to argue with him – she was emotionally compromised and everyone could see it. That was why she left, wasn’t it?

“Erso.” Draven said and she glanced at him without lifting her head, watching as he stepped forward and gave her an almost sympathetic look. “I’m gonna tell you one more time. Walk away.”

She did.

She was almost at the gates when a voice spoke her name.

“Jyn Erso.”

Turning around, she found Kay in front of her, watching. Jyn faltered. Confronted by the distressed face of Cassian’s best friend, Jyn suddenly found it hard not to cry. She deflated like a balloon, taking deep breaths as panic built up in her chest.

All of this was her fault, she knew, and looking at Kay, she couldn’t deny it anymore. She was selfish, she quit and she left Cassian’s safety in someone else’s hands. But she was the best and he had deserved that. No one else was as good as her. And if she hadn’t fallen in love with him, if she hadn’t let her feelings influence her work, she wouldn’t have had to quit and none of this would have happened. It was her fault.

Jyn thought she could accept it, move on, try to forget him. She’d gotten a new charge and it was not someone she was in danger of getting attached to. All was okay for a few months, even if she still secretly longed for Cassian’s presence, smile, and quick humor. She was determined to power through it. It was not like she hadn’t lost people before and most of them were dead. In contrast, losing Cassian was bearable because he was safe.

Then – it happened. It was all over the news. Cassian Andor, kidnapped, after he sneaked out from his home for a run.

The stupid idiot, of course he’d sneak out without his bodyguard. He used to do that to her, at first. But she always noticed and she always went after him. That was the difference between her and Marlowe that might have saved his life.

Kay regarded her coolly, his eyes blank behind his glasses.

“You love him.”

Jyn shuddered, closing her eyes, and letting a tear slip down her cheek. She did not need to say or do anything to confirm it. It was obvious.

“So tell him that. When you find him.”

Surprised, Jyn opened her eyes, frowning. “What?”

“He’s been inconsolable since you left and I do not wish to see him suffer anymore.”

Still, Jyn stared at him in confusion, unsure where he was going with this. His words barely made sense to her. Surely, Cassian couldn’t be so heartbroken, could he? Kay took a small pendrive from his pocket and handed it to her, glancing back at the house.

“Here. Everything you need to know is on this. If anyone can find him, it’s you.”

Jyn blinked at the pendrive in bewilderment for two seconds before snatching it from Kay’s hand and pocketing it in her coat. That was all she needed. If the agency didn’t want to let her help, that was alright – she still had contacts from her criminal days she could call. It was a risk and she swore she’d never go back to that life but for Cassian… well, for Cassian, she’d do a lot more and a lot worse.

“Thank you,” she said, unsure how to tell him how much this meant to her. He trusts you, don’t fuck it up.

“Don’t thank me, just find him,” Kay said simply, pausing before he added. “And don’t break his heart again.”

Right. Here it went then.

Jyn’s shoulder burned from the bullet she took earlier, but right now, she couldn’t care less. The kidnappers were taken care of, the guards were lying unconscious at her feet, and Cassian was bound and gagged, and a little beaten up in the middle of the room. He stared at her like she was a mirage his delirious brain had conjured up to comfort him, but she ignored his shocked look, making quick work of the ropes tying together his hands and feet. They were in the clear now, she was pretty sure, but the sooner they got out of this gloomy warehouse, the better.

His first words, when she ungagged him, were, “You’re bleeding.”

Jyn spared a dismissive glance at her shoulder. “Yeah.”

It wasn’t so bad, all things considered. She’d had far worse but she was pretty sure Cassian didn’t want to hear that. And she wasn’t in the mood for chit-chat right now.

“Come on, we gotta get out of here.”

There were a lot more questions in Cassian’s eyes but he held himself back and nodded.

“You good to walk?” she asked, just to make sure, even though a quick scan of his body revealed nothing more than a purpling bruise under his eye. Seeing him again after she’d left, after she’d broken her own heart, was like an electric shock to her heart, but she couldn’t go there right now. She had to focus.

“I’m fine.”

“Good.”

Together, they made their way out of the building, Jyn keeping an eye out for danger – but it seemed she’d taken care of everyone. Outside, she called Draven to let him know she found Cassian and once she shared their location, he sent the police and an ambulance their way. She knew she’d be in trouble once he got here, and a part of her wanted to run, but she wasn’t about to leave Cassian alone here. Once the phone call was over, she looked up to find him staring at her, half-concerned, half-shocked still. Now that he was safe, Jyn didn’t know what to say to him.

Tell him you love him, Kay had said. Right. If only that was so easy.

“They’re on their way,” she said, pocketing her phone. “Kay was worried.”

“How –”

“Kay,” she said again, a lump in her throat. “And I have my ways.” She paused, then shook her head at him with a frown. “You shouldn’t have sneaked out.”

His eyes darkened at that, a humorless laugh leaving his throat. “That’s not your problem anymore.”

Her blood pressure rose in response, irrational anger clouding her judgement. She just saved him; he could try being a little grateful.

“I’m here, aren’t I?” she snapped back, matching his petulant tone.

“Why?”

“Why?” she repeated, incredulous. There were a lot of things she could answer with but the truth felt too much to say. “Well, someone had to save your ass, right?”

He shook his head. “Not you.”

“Sorry if I’m not the cavalry you expected, next time I’ll let you rot in there,” she said, voice dripping with sarcasm. “Or maybe we could go back in, wake them up, and give you back to them, how about that?”

“Just stop pretending you care,” Cassian replied, voice cold, making her heart stutter in her chest.

“I care!” she burst out, her indignation turning to hurt, her arms flying towards him as she gestured wildly. But the sudden movement strained her shoulder and she winced as she pulled back, hand flying to her wound.

Cassian was instantly in front of her, all of his anger gone, replaced by concern as he stared at her.

“Careful,” he said, his hand hovering over her own like he wanted to reach out and soothe her. He didn’t. She tried not to let her disappointment show and took a few deep breaths before she looked up at him again.

“Do you think I would take a bullet for just anyone?”

His resolve fell and the walls he put around himself crumbled to dust. He was left bare in front of her, his pain evident for all the world to see.

“Then why did you leave?” he asked, sounding defeated. Somehow, that was what she needed to finally be brave enough.

“Because I knew I was falling for you and I didn’t want to,” she confessed quietly. She wasn’t sure what his reaction would be, but it was better to have told him she loved him than to let him keep thinking she didn’t care.

When she gathered the strength to look, Cassian was staring at her in bewilderment and awe, a slow smile creeping onto his face.

“You could have just said that,” he said, his voice suddenly light, his eyes almost… tender. But Jyn didn’t want him to smile because he wasn’t getting it.

“I was putting you at risk!” she burst out, desperate to make him understand. “I couldn’t do my job, not like I did before. I wasn’t rational around you – I’m still not.”

“And yet, you’re here,” he pointed out and Jyn stopped, unable to argue that. Fine, yes. But that didn’t mean she hadn’t done the right thing. She knew it had been for the best; she simply couldn’t be his bodyguard anymore.

“It’s a conflict of interest –” she started but he raised his eyebrows at her.

“That you love me and want to protect me?”

“I’m compromised,” she hissed, angry that he didn’t understand. “You’ve compromised me.”

He laughed at that, lighthearted and gentle, and Jyn stared at him incredulously.

“Then I think you’ve compromised me too.”

“Huh?”

“Jyn, I feel the same,” he said, and he seemed a little incredulous that she didn’t understand. Jyn’s heart skipped a beat in her chest, then restarted twice as fast. “You think I didn’t tell myself a hundred times a day that I can’t feel this way about my bodyguard? But if you had just talked to me about it instead of running, we could have figured something out.”

“Like what?” she breathed, dizzy from his confession.

“Like this,” he answered and kissed her. And yeah, Jyn thought to herself in that moment. This was definitely a better solution than running.

(Later, once Jyn’s shoulder was treated and the police had questioned Cassian and Draven had chewed her out for an hour and a half straight – later, Jyn put her hand on Cassian’s chest, winding her other around his shoulder.

“You know, I can’t be your girlfriend and your bodyguard at the same time,” she told him, although she was technically off-duty and suspended, and she wasn’t sure how much she really wanted to stay with the agency anyway.

“Then be my girlfriend,” Cassian answered easily, no hesitation in his voice. “And Marlowe can be my bodyguard.”

Jyn frowned.

“No. He’s not competent enough.” Then she shrugged and decided to leave the question for another day. “We’ll figure it out,” she said and kissed him instead. So much better than running.)

[melanoradrood]

So this is complete and utter shit, it’s unedited, it’s just a dumb idea, but literally... I’ve had this damn scene for the start of this fic in my head all fucking day, so I’m throwing it out there. Just... take this and idk.

It’s a pure miracle that anyone escapes. The fact that there’s so many, that so many ships had returned, that so many had been able to escape the beaches, that most of Blue Squadron was still alive, even the Profundity… but not everyone had escaped. Not everyone had lived. She hadn’t had time to stop, to check every body they had passed, to grasp the hands of the dying men… the Death Star had arrived, and if she was going to get Cassian off of that planet, get Bodhi to medical, save Chirrut’s life, save Baze from himself… she had to get them off the beach.

If Kay hadn’t added a secondary consciousness to the other KX unit they had passed…

He had only lost minutes of his memory, and had a new body, fully upgraded, and the ability to carry Cassian when Jyn could not. He could fly them and the ten others that were still alive, even Sergeant Melshi, off of the planet, all before Scarif was destroyed by the terrible weapon her father had built. It was alright, though. The very first things they had heard over the comm, once they were patched into the Rebel lines, was that the plans had been delivered. A good thing, given how the hard copy, the one labeled Stardust, had been shot by a Deathtrooper as Jyn ran towards the cargo ship they were on now.

She still had it with her, though, as the ship landed in the cargo bay. No matter the injuries on the other ships, she knew that those on the newly renamed Rogue Two were the most injured. They were the only ones to make it off the ground at Scarif, and no one in their group was uninjured. Somehow, Jyn looked to have taken the least hits of all, and she had broken her arm, was bruised and bloodied, and even had a blaster wound on her leg, right beside where the data files had been when they were shot.

Jyn would have been the last one down, making sure everyone else escaped, but Cassian… he was only barely still breathing. Falling had nearly broken his body, but climbing back up, climbing up to her, to save her… she had thought he was dying, and that was okay, because they were going to die on that planet together. Seeing Kay, seeing the ship, realizing that she might escape, that their bodies might escape, but that he might not live…

It wasn’t acceptable. That wasn’t in the equations. She had gone to Scarif with Cassian Andor walking beside her, step by step, knowing that her mission was his mission, that he believed in her, and she would be damned if she returned to Yavin, if she returned to the Rebellion, and she didn’t have him right beside her, every step of the way. And she would shoot anyone that got in her way of getting him to Medical.

“Please, we need a medic here. He’s the worst of the bunch,” she called out, and the crowd that was clamouring around them parted enough for medics to approach Kay, who was holding Cassian as steady as he could. His back, his spine… she had heard the crash of bone meeting metal, the sound reverberating in her ears, and she knew that the damage was extensive. He was laid out flat quickly, but the crowd was pushing around again, and there were so many on the ship, Chirrut now laid onto a bed, Bodhi’s shaking voice as he held onto his wrist, where his hand should be…

It was too much, so much. She had taken these people to Scarif, she had held onto the hope, she had tried to keep the dream alive, and yes, they had succeeded, but so many were lost, so many looked to her for salvation, and now their friends were around them, looking to see who lived, who they could help… she had seen out the window, before they had entered hyperspace, had seen the ships that had been destroyed…

And Cassian. Cassian might not live.

The reality of it all was crashing down onto Jyn, and whatever bit of strength she had held onto, whatever bit of sanity she had maintained, it was slipping fast. She had survived, she had carried out the mission, but so many were lost, the beaches covered in bodies, the pilots that had fired down, Saw, the Partisans on Jedha, the actual city of Jedha, her mama, her-

“Papa?”

The voice wasn’t hers, but it sounded… it sounded like a lost child, calling out for someone she loved, someone she needed, someone she relied upon, that she was scared was gone forever. The voice was not hers, but it sounded as she had, so long ago, calling out for him, hoping that the Man in White hadn’t taken him.

Was she losing her mind entirely? Was the stress of it all breaking her down, forcing Jyn to face the cruelties she had endured? Or, was there a child on this base, a child that was now missing a father, because Jyn had led them to their death. In truth, the first option was far more preferable. Enough children would lose their fathers in this war. None of them should be because of her.

“Oh, this is bad. This is very bad,” said Kay, and Jyn was startled to see that he was still standing beside her, rather than chasing after the medics that were taking Cassian from the hanger bay, and straight back to Medical.

She had been frozen for a moment, watching as the others were taken off, as Chirrut’s body was carried by Baze, as those that were missing blood and body parts were taken away… she should join them, should follow them. She was their Sergeant, promoted on the flight there. She was the one that had led them there. She was the one that had brought them home… with the help of Kay, of course. She should go with them, watch over all of them… especially Cassian.

“What is?” she asked, turning to look up at the droid.

If she could have described a shocked expression, it would be this. For once, the droid was speechless, which was concerning most of all. She had never seen him unable to find some sort of snapped remark, even when she had handed him a blaster, not that he remembered, or even really believed her now that she told him of it. To find him unable to speak now.

“I am not authorized to tell you, and yet, the probabilities of you discovering the truth are very very high, regardless of whether or not Cassian will survive.”

She had threatened to throw him off the ship if he had mentioned the percentages of Cassian’s possible survival… he had admitted that he refused to calculate them.

“Then tell me anyways, before I find out in some worse way.”

She was fixing him with a look that clearly said this was the only option, but some of the harshness had been lost, simply because she was too tired, too beaten down to fight it. The droid still looked unable to respond for a moment longer, and then-

“Kay? Kay, where is my Papa?”

Jyn was startled as she blinked, and saw a child, a very small child, standing next to Kay. She looked tiny beside the droid, only half of Jyn’s height as it were, but the droid was suddenly lowering himself down towards the child, and scooping her up, as tenderly as though he were a a child holding a kitten. What to make of this, she wasn’t sure.

“He was taken to medical, after sustaining an injury, but he will be quiet well soon enough. We were just going to check on him.”

Her head fell to the side as she blinked, first at the child that Kay was carrying like a parcel in his arms, and then up at the droid, who somehow looked softer. She understood this was a child, that the child was asking about her father, and she knew Kay… no one really trusted him, he was rarely out of even the hanger bay, as far as she was aware, and all because only Cassian held his trust, so for a child…

The pieces were all there, but putting them together was… creating a picture she had never imagined, couldn’t comprehend.

“Sergeant Erso, your arm is broken, and you have sustained multiple minor injuries. If you intent on fleeing, as you look to be considering, I recommend you do so after you have been looked at.”

She blinks again, and then follows for a few steps, hissing up at the droid, as though the little girl wouldn’t hear her. “Kay, what are you keeping from me? Just… just say it.”

The droid paused for a moment, then looked down at her. “This is the daughter of Cassian Andor.”