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childrenofthenightt · 3 years ago

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That’s The Way (Chapter 2)

Pairing: Jimmy Page x Reader

Word count: 3.3k

Warning(s): mentions of cheating, cursing

Author’s notes: Hey y’all, welcome to Chapter 2! Thank you so much for all your positive feedback and responses. A little heads up: Jimmy is not in this chapter...since this is a slow burn, he’ll be introduced in Chapter 4, but it won’t be long, I promise. Just sit tight! As usual, please enjoy, happy reading, and send us messages if you have theories, comments, music recommendations for the playlist, or if you want to be added to the tag list :)

Chapter 1

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Evening of 4 May 1965

Walking into the kitchen, Y/N slid into a seat between her brothers, Tommy and Charlie, just as her mum was placing platters of that night’s dinner on the table. A sinking feeling in her stomach plagued her all day, as she knew that she would be interrogated intensely by her family about the previous night. More importantly, she knew that if they felt that any of the musicians had viewed her as a possible love interest, she’d be in big, big trouble.

“Dad, can you pass me the vegetables, please?” Y/N asked her father, sitting a few seats down from her. If the girl hadn’t been glancing down at her plate to avoid eye contact, fighting the gut feeling that the inevitable would soon occur, she would have seen him glance at her from over the frames of his glasses.

“Sure, dear,” he replied, briefly looking up from the newspaper he was reading as he gave Y/N the dish. The clanking of utensils on plates was all that could be heard until Charlie broke the seal by asking the dreaded question.

“So Y/N, how was the concert last night?” he asked, raising the glass of water in his hand to his lips. Y/N couldn’t blame Charlie for asking, because he had no idea what had happened, but she knew that this conversation could go south fast. Tommy’s hums of laughter quietly escaped his lips, and Y/N nudged his arm from under the table, giving him a glaring look that sent daggers from her eyes. It screamed, “Shut up!”, and another bout of giggles was the only response.

Tommy knew the outcome of last night because of what Carolyn had babbled to him on the car ride home, and was doing everything in his power to tease his sister.

“Why are you laughing, Tommy?” Y/N’s mum asked, finally taking a seat between Charlie and Lillian. Silence settled over the table as all eyes locked on to the oldest daughter, and Tommy evilly smiled at Y/N, who only glared at him again. “No reason. Actually, I think Y/N should tell you instead.”

Y/N huffed as she put the dish of roasted chicken, generously seasoned and herbed, back in the middle of the table. She painted on a smile before answering, “It went pretty well. Brilliant show.”

“That’s it?” her dad asked, folding up the newspaper, knowing his daughter was downplaying it.

“Yeah, Y/N, that’s it?” Tommy added. Y/N knew he was taunting her, but the rest of the table did not pick up on it. From under the table, Y/N’s leg begins to bob up and down, and she bites her lip, debating whether or not to tell the whole story. It’s obvious they’re not going to be happy…

“My God, Tommy,” With an exasperated sigh, Y/N, very annoyed at her brother’s pushing, throws her hands up in unwilling acceptance. “Fine, Carolyn and I were invited backstage, and we met the band.”

The table audibly gasped, the loudest of course being Lillian, who looked disappointed, almost devastated at the revelation. Her lips turn down in a sulk, and she rests her cheek, almost permanently flushed with youth, on a fist. “You promised me you wouldn’t let any boys mess with you, Y/N!”

Y/N reached her hand across the table to hold her sister’s in an attempt to coax her. “They didn’t, Lil. We just talked for a while. I just made some new friends last night, that’s all.”

Lillian’s frown turned upside down, content that her sister was safe, a naïve smile that Y/N felt a little guilty about. She, along with Charlie and their parents, didn’t know that most members of the band had shamelessly flirted with her and invited her back to see them again. Tommy was the only one aware, and Y/N made him promise to keep the whole rendezvous a secret. Carolyn had brought the flirting to Y/N’s attention on the car ride home, because in the moment, she didn’t think much of it.

“If they’re mean to you, I’ll be mean to them, just for you!” Lillian exclaims through a mouthful of mush, and the table burst into laughter, shaking their heads in amusement.

“How did it go?” Y/N’s mum asked, cutting into her chicken with a knife and fork. For the first time over the course of the whole dinner, Y/N broke into an unadulterated smile at the memory. “It was really nice, genuinely. They were all so sweet to us, and we just bonded over music and stuff.”

Y/N’s mother quirked her brow. “No ‘you know what’?”

“No Mum, nothing explicit. It was good, clean fun. Seriously.”

“Alright, I hope you’re telling the truth… I’m happy you had a great time.”

“She is telling the truth, Mum,” Tommy quipped through bites of roasted potatoes, “I can attest to that.”

Y/N’s mum smiled, but her dad piped up with some two-cents of his own. “Musicians are a tough crowd, Y/N. Very fickle blokes, their attractions change all the time. You can’t get too attached to them, dear, you’re just a small fish in a very big sea.”

“I know, Dad,” Y/N replied, trying to sound understanding. She couldn’t lie to herself, though. The Yardbirds made her feel very special last night, and disappointment was lurching in her stomach at the comment. As much as her father’s words stung, she harbored a small feeling of hope that they truly enjoyed her company and meant what they said.

After everyone finished dinner, and Charlie and Lillian left the table to go play in another room, Tommy, wallet in hand, walked over to his mum, who was washing the dishes with the help of her husband.

“Hey Mum, I’m gonna take Y/N for ice cream,” he whispered, glancing at Y/N who was sitting in a chair in the living room, almost unconsciously playing with her fingers and staring out the window with a pensive countenance.

“Okay, love. Just bring something home for Charlie and Lillian,” she replied. Tommy walked over to Y/N, tapping her shoulder. The girl looked up at him, confused.

“I’m taking you for ice cream. Let’s go,” he said, already walking towards the door. Y/N grinned, then chased after her brother to the car.

~~~~~~~~

27 June 1965

Y/N and Carolyn weren’t able to attend as many Yardbirds gigs as they would’ve liked in the end of May and beginning of June, as they had exams at school. Now that they were over, Y/N could be fully immersed in the travelling British rock and roll circus for the greater part of the summer.

The girls agreed to make a venue change tonight: instead of going to the Marquee, as they usually did, they decided to go to the Crawdaddy Club. Y/N hoped Jeff, Chris, Paul, Jim, and Keith would remember them by their faces instead of just their clothes, because there was no need to wear school uniforms anymore.

Carolyn decided to drive to this particular gig, probably because she was expecting the two of them to go backstage again, as having her own car would grant them more time with the band then that first night at the Marquee.

The Crawdaddy Club was architecturally and aesthetically different from the Marquee; there were no chairs or booths, so standing was the only option, and the boundary between the stage and the audience was virtually nonexistent. The ceilings were low and beamed, and the stage backdrop had a painting of a measure of music. Y/N thought that particular touch was a bit cheesy.

Carolyn and Y/N walked in together, squeezing past the army of fans already hoarding the front of the stage. They managed to find a spot by Jeff’s side of the stage, his amps towering a few feet from where they stood. Thankfully, they were able to see most of the stage, including Jim’s drum riser in the back. The conversations among all the audience members were deafening, but Y/N heard a loud whisper within her periphery that she could just make out.

“Pssst! Y/N!” a familiar voice whisper-shouted, which was followed by a wave.

It was Jeff, widely smiling with his guitar slung over his shoulder. He was walking out the backstage door, meticulously making sure the door wouldn’t harm his guitar in any way. He then waited near the stage steps to go on, which the girls discerned could be any minute now.

“Oh my God, Jeff!” Y/N replied excitedly as she walked over to the steps. She made her way through the crowd, a lot more ungracefully than she would’ve hoped.

“It’s so cool to see you at some place other than the Marquee,” Jeff said. He looked genuinely happy that she was there. Maybe Y/N’s dad was wrong about these “fickle musicians”.

“We’re happy to be here! I’m so sorry I couldn’t make any more since the last time… exams and school and all.”

“Oh, that’s where you were! I hope you got good marks,” Jeff playfully grinned, “because you ought to mind your studies, Miss Y/N. Sam was starting to think he scared you off and that you didn’t want to come back.”

Y/N scrunched her nose in a confused way, as if to say “who?”, which resulted in a soft chuckle from Jeff.

“‘Sam’ is Paul’s nickname.”

Y/N nodded in understanding with an endearing smile. “Oh, okay. That’s definitely not it, then. I was just stuck with exams and graduation, that's all. Be sure to tell him that.” A wink punctuates the end of her sentence, and, gearing up to respond, Jeff is interrupted by a sharp noise next to him. Mere seconds later, another familiar face entered the scene, walking out of the door. Chris Dreja, also with his guitar slung over his shoulder, warmly smiled at Y/N as he closed the door behind him.

“Hello, Y/N. It’s so lovely to see you again,” he greeted. She noticed that he had a substantially deeper voice than the other four, something she hadn’t the last time they met since he was talking with Carolyn and Keith.

“Hi Chris! Same to you,” Y/N grinned.

“No uniforms this time I see,” he teased, discreetly scanning how stunning he thought she looked.

Y/N laughed. “Yeah, I’m off from school for the summer so there’s no need anymore, thank God. Now I can attend your shows more frequently, and wear a decent outfit too!”

“That’s great to hear. We do love your company.” Y/N beamed at his comment, unconsciously tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. Chris’ eyes track the movement, and he couldn’t help but feel a little guilty. He thought Y/N was beautiful, but he had a wife and a child on the way. He also felt a little jealous that Paul and Jim had their eyes on her, but there was not much he could do about it. If he was cunning and quick enough to steal Y/N before they had the chance, though, and if his wife never found out…

Quickly regaining his wits, he remembered why he was sent out. “Jeff, Keith needs you backstage again.”

Jeff groaned. “What? I thought we were starting, like right now!”

“I know, I know. We were supposed to, but he wants everyone backstage again for some reason.”

“Ugh, this is why he can’t fucking be in charge,” Jeff replied, clearly annoyed. Then, as Chris was heading backstage once again, Jeff pulled something out of his pocket, a knowing smile on his face.

“Here, love, have this. You’ll be needing it after the show,” he said, placing a card with a lanyard attached to it into Y/N’s hands. Y/N smiled giddily.

“Thank you. Good luck with that meeting, and good luck in the show, even though you don’t really need it,” Y/N replied playfully.

“Oh, I think I need it more than you think I do,” Jeff smirked, disappearing behind the door.

~~~~~~~~

Just minutes later, The Yardbirds came out and played their set, which lasted a couple hours, and didn't fail to stun the crowd. Y/N and Carolyn received a lot more smiles of recognition than the last time at the Marquee, since the boys knew who they were now. The only similarity to last time was the electrified fans who were completely immersed in the music.

Jim McCarty, in particular, looked at Y/N a lot more often throughout the show than he did last time. She caught him a couple times, which was really embarrassing on his part, but not the entire time, much to his pleasure. He didn’t think it was possible, but it seemed that she had grown even more beautiful than last time.

Was it absence that made his heart grow fonder? Possibly. Was he in love? Yet another possibility. Did he know for certain? Perhaps, but he wasn’t exactly sure yet.

Besides focusing on the music, Paul’s mind was elsewhere. He was planning on asking Y/N out on a date with him sometime this coming week. He hoped she’d accept, since she did an awful lot of blushing and giggling around him when they met in May, but he didn’t want to get his hopes up. Paul was concocting the perfect formulation of words so that she couldn’t refuse the offer. She looked like the type of girl who would enjoy a nice dinner date, and he would do anything to make that a reality for her.

Chris’s mind was the opposite of Paul’s: he didn’t want to think about Y/N because in the event he did, he knew he would mess up a chord or two on the guitar.

God, he thought, she was perfect. Purely enchanting.

Jeff was just happy, almost giddy, that he’d found a new friend in Y/N. He knew she was special, and he hoped she trusted him, because some people in this business could be very sleazy. She was different from all the girls a lonely musician would find on the road. Y/N was the type of girl that Jeff wanted to see after a thousand and one nights touring, catching up and sharing stories over a pint. Sure, he had a steady girlfriend, but something about Y/N was comforting, friendly, and trustworthy. Just what he needed in a friend.

The set was similar to the one at the Marquee, but with little variations here and there, still holding the audience under a trance. After the performance’s conclusion, Y/N rummaged through her pocket and showed Carolyn the backstage pass given to her by Jeff, to which Carolyn squealed with delight. Y/N took Carolyn’s hand and walked with her to the door, showing the security man her prized relic. At once, they were granted access, and they skipped and trotted and leapt down the hall in excitement.

When the pair got to the correct door, Y/N took a deep breath and knocked a couple times; momentarily, they were greeted by a smiling, but sweaty, Jeff Beck.

Y/N didn’t care. “Brilliant show, my friend,” she gushed, giving Jeff a congratulatory hug.

“Thank you,” he replied gratefully, reciprocating it with a beaming smile, “security didn’t give you trouble I hope?”

“No, we were fine, thankfully.”

“Good to hear, good to hear. Well, come on in!” Jeff exclaimed, getting out of the way of the doorframe, “do you fancy yourselves a drink?”

Y/N and Carolyn walked into the room, starstruck once again by all five of The Yardbirds being in one place. This time, some members of the road crew, management, and lighting company were there as well, chatting and planning among themselves. They all greeted the girls amicably, and grabbed some chairs and arranged them in a similar formation to the Marquee.

“Um, yeah, sure, if you don’t mind,” Y/N accepted as she sat down, throwing a kind “thank you” over her shoulder at the roadie that had brought her chair over, voice a little lost in amazement at the current happening.

“Here, I’ll get it,” Jim said with a smile, “you stay put.”

“Thank you, that’s so sweet,” Y/N grinned appreciatively. She could feel herself warming up to these guys, as she didn’t feel as nervous as the last time. But a little twinge of it was still there, rippling through her stomach.

Jim was turned away from Y/N getting the drinks, so she wasn’t able to see him blush. He found it unbelievable, the effect she had on him.

The whole group was sharing conversation and laughs over drinks for almost three hours, but it was almost as if time did not pass. They talked about music, books they liked, restaurants they recommended, places they’ve travelled to, philosophy, history, the environment, conspiracy theories...you name it.

Y/N and Carolyn stood up from their seats, as a cue to the party that they had to leave soon. Paul, who again was sitting next to Y/N, tapped her shoulder. Turning to face him, Y/N could see the flush on his cheeks, and the way he was almost curled into himself.

“Hey Y/N, can I ask you a question really quick?” he asked, much more nervous than he sounded a few seconds ago.

“Yeah, sure,” she smiled. Y/N, taking his outstretched hand, found herself being whisked away by Paul to a corner of the room, near a row of vanities attached to the wall. She hoped that the others were all too distracted talking, so that no one would notice her and Paul’s absence.

Looking at each other, face to face, the two smiled happily, as though there wasn't a care in the world.

Paul then took a deep breath, his expression turning more anxious. “Okay…” he exhaled, “here goes.”

“You don’t have to be nervous,” Y/N chuckled, “it’s just me.”

Paul’s face softened a little, gazing down at her. “But you see, that’s the whole point. It’s you. I have every reason to be nervous.”

Y/N’s face cascaded into a red flush, her lip quivering in the hopes of concealing a foolish grin. Paul reached down and grabbed Y/N’s hands, holding them in his own as Y/N’s heart started racing at what felt like two thousand miles a minute.

“I just wanted to preface this by saying that I, uh… I have been absolutely bewitched by you, and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you since the night at the Marquee,” he began. Y/N melted with every word, but at the same time, she felt as if she had been electrically shocked. When she looked into the twinkling depths of his eyes, she couldn't help but swoon.

“So,” he continued, “I was wondering if you’d like to go out with me sometime. If you’ll let me, of course.”

Y/N was at a loss for words, composure, and any sort of rationality. She never thought, in her wildest dreams, that a musician in a world-renowned band would fancy her. Just able to restrain an awestruck grin, she finally gave in.

“Yes,” she replied, happily breathless and dazed, “I would love to go out with you.”

Paul, ecstatic with her answer, beams down at her as she launches into his arms in a sweet embrace. He asked for her phone number and address, and, spotting a nearby miniature legal pad, she wrote everything down, signing it with a cartoonish smiling face and a heart.

~~~~~~~~

After Y/N and Carolyn had said their goodbyes and left the Crawdaddy Club, the five musicians were left alone in the backstage area, to relax after such an electric show. Jeff and Keith approached Paul, who was collecting his belongings in the corner of the room.

“Did you do it?” Jeff asked, face a picture of feigned nonchalance as he took a sip of his beer.

“Yes, I did it,” Paul grinned, bending down to grab something of his that had fallen on the floor.

“I guess she accepted by the look on your face,” Keith observed, a sardonic smirk on his handsome features.

“You’d be correct,” Paul replied.

“You wanker,” Jeff shook his head disapprovingly, “why would you bloody do that? You’re gonna break her heart!”

Paul’s expression quickly turned unimpressed. “Because if nobody here tells her, she’ll never know.”

What Paul had failed to tell Y/N was that he had a wife, with whom he shared a home. He felt bored, with all the travelling and the touring and the nonsense, so he wanted a lovely, intelligent young woman like Y/N to “keep him company”.

He knew he wasn’t in love with Y/N. Sure, he fancied her immensely, thought she was ethereal, but his heart truly belonged to his wife.

“Congratulations, Sam,” Keith said sarcastically, “you just potentially ruined a friendship with a very pretty bird.” It was clear that Jeff and Keith cared very deeply about Y/N and her happiness, because she was a great girl.

Paul rolled his eyes, annoyed. “You lot have to do me this solid and don’t say anything to her. It’ll work out fine. Oh, and spread the message to Chris and Jim so they don’t spill the beans either.”

“You fuckin’ owe me, Sam,” Jeff warned, already walking backwards towards Chris and Jim, “you owe me big time.”

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Taglist: @blood-on-blood @reincarnated70sbaby

#that's the way #jimmy page #the yardbirds #led zeppelin #jimmy page fanfic #jimmy page fanfiction #led zeppelin fanfic #classic rock fanfic

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bibliophileiz · 3 years ago

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cue a “back in MAH dae” type speech, but when i was a kid we didn’t read YA fantasy we read historical (in)accurate fictional diary accounts of people throughout history, which is my pretentious way of saying I used to hoard those Royal Diaries books which definitely began my lifelong quest to read as many historical biographies on women from political dynasties as possible. ahem.

but the point of all that is to say they don’t make the Royal Diaries books anymore, HOWEVER, i found a bunch of them on thriftbooks.com for like $5 or less each and i bought eight of them.

I read the one about isabel of Castile tonight (it was boring) and i am now even more low-key obsessed with Beatriz de Bombadilla than i was when I read Kristin Downey’s biography on the shitty queen (I mean, shitty as in a shitty person. as a queen, isabel was actually quite effective and more competent than her husband. but she was effective at doing shitty things, so *cue gif of Chidi saying, “You get how that’s worse, right?”).

isabel Royal Diaries book author Carolyn Meyer has a brief couple of pages about Beatriz SPYING ON ENRIQUE’S NOBLES and reporting back to isabel, which i’m pretty sure was not in Downey’s bio. (in fact if i remember correctly, Downey wrote that Beatriz was loyal to enrique and against isabel marrying ferdinand.) So my question is, is there a biography on BEATRIZ? And i’m low-key wondering if, as Meyer suggests in one of the only interesting parts of the book, Beatriz WAS a spy? Has a historian posited that as a theory or did Meyer just add that for desperately-needed color in her book about a princess waiting to get married?

if there’s not a bio on Beatriz, there’s gotta be some kind of book on Medieval ladies spying for other Medieval ladies. i would read the shit out of that book.

in the meantime, i’m reading the shit out of the rest of these vintage Royal Diaries books. (Cleopatra is up next, and she gets her name capitalized, unlike isabel, because she’s awesome.)

#history #i*abel of castile #beatriz de bombadilla #royal diaries

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mostlysignssomeportents · 5 years ago

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Volcano gods demand workers

"Re-opening" isn't about saving ordinary workers and earners. You can't save someone by infecting them with a deadly disease. In a world without contact-tracing, therapeutics, tests, PPE, santizing products, etc, more contact means more risk of illness and death.

"Re-opening" is about saving investors: the 1% who constitute the major shareholders in large firms whose calculus goes like this: "30% unemployment means that for every worker who dies on the job, ten more will apply to take their place."

These people are willing to risk workers' lives and shoppers' lives because they believe they do not have a shared microbial destiny with the rest of us.

They think they won't get sick, and if they do, they think they'll get better.

That's because they never had to go without medical care because they lacked insurance or because their insurer-imposed rationing denied them the care their doctors advised them to get, so they are less likely to have chronic illnesses and other comorbidities.

They can afford premiums to gougers for PPE for shopping trips, and if they do get sick, they can afford private rooms, hoarded ventilators, and home care (with PPE for the workers who care for them).

For the investor class, "re-opening" is low risk and high reward.

There's only one fly in the ointment. People don't want to throw themselves in a volcano to appease the economy gods. The vast majority of Americans think re-opening is a bad idea.

https://pluralistic.net/2020/05/07/just-look-at-it/#national-unity

That's why the gloves are off, like in Ohio, where bosses can use a confidential snitchline to rat out workers who won't come back for fear of their lives: these workers will lose their unemployment benefits, their homes, their grocery money.

https://pluralistic.net/2020/05/06/moloch-demands-death/#life-or-death

It's not just Ohio. Iowa also has a snitchline for bosses who want to punish mulish, uncooperative workers who think their job isn't worth their lives. These workers also face a choice: starve or sicken.

https://popular.info/p/return-to-work-or-else

Iowa Workforce Development Director Beth Townsend: "fear of catching the virus would be considered a voluntary resignation, which disqualifies workers from receiving unemployment benefits."

Of course, everything's bigger in Texas, including (especially) the terrorization of the workforce. After the shortest-in-the-nation lockdown, Texas re-opened with an injunction to bosses to "report any job refusal."

https://www.twc.texas.gov/news/frequently-asked-questions-about-unemployment-insurance-benefits-related-covid-19#employerQuestions

Ideologues - like the mayor of Las Vegas - tell us that we can reopen because the market will drive employers to find safe ways to operate. They are wrong.

https://pluralistic.net/2020/04/23/riot-baby/#carolyn-goodman

In Dallas, workers at the Hillstone Restaurant Group - which reopened last weekend - were told that if they wore masks to work, they'd be fired, because " face masks don't complement the restaurant group's style or level of hospitality."

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/face-masks-coverings-dallas-restaurant-workers-coronavirus/

While Amazon lied to Southern California warehouse workers, telling them that the state's paid sick-leave law didn't extend to warehouses and warned them that they'd be fired for missing shift. Sick workers are coming in and infecting others.

https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2020/may/07/amazon-warehouse-workers-coronavirus-time-off-california

Right wing politics require alliances between elites - (rightism is essentially the belief in rule by elites) - and large groups of turkeys who'll vote for Christmas.

Evangelicals: "we'll support domination by the finance sector if you'll give us performative cruelty to brown people, queers and women seeking abortions."

https://pluralistic.net/2020/04/19/shared-microbial-destiny-2/#trickle-down

But these alliances are destined to fracture. The finance sector and the ultra-wealthy got billions in helicopter money. Workers got $1200 as a ten-week "liquidity bridge" are now being sent into death-traps on pain of starvation.

https://pluralistic.net/2020/04/19/shared-microbial-destiny-2/#trickle-down

The antidote is a peoples' bailout, like the $2,000/month stimulus proposed by Bernie Sanders, Kamala Harris and Ed Markey, retroactive to March, for every adult and every child.

https://thehill.com/homenews/senate/496747-harris-sanders-markey-propose-2000-monthly-payments-amid-coronavirus-pandemic

"If we can bail out large corporations, we can make sure that everyone in this country has enough income to pay for the basic necessities of life." -Bernie Sanders.

Related: Rashida Tlaib's proposal to mint 2 $1T coins to fund a $2K one-time cash infusion and $1k/month every month until the crisis has been over for a year.

The problem (for investors) with these proposals is that they take away the leverage employers want to use to get workers to risk their lives. A worker receiving this stimulus would only go back to work if it seemed safe - not because it seemed preferable to homelessness.

The right loves to talk about "moral hazard" in the context of social safety nets ("if we let people see a doctor without paying, they won't take steps to keep themselves from getting sick or injured").

But reality demonstrates, time and again, that the real moral hazard comes from letting investors socialize their costs and privatize their gains.

#pluralistic

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villanevest · 5 years ago

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you know what the ke fandom needs more of? more AU fic. like gimme some chaotic college au or coffee shop au or neighbors au

U are so right. Honestly hit me with ur suggestions.

I didn’t want to leave you waiting until any suggestions came in or my brain started working so here’s my totally lame, unsolicited and rushed dot-point take on a Villaneve in the film industry:

- Villanelle is a notoriously bratty but EXTREMELY talented actress

- like she’s a total costume thief and honestly kind of difficult to handle on set if Konstantin (her manager) isn’t around

- but she’s also a one-take wonder when she wants to be, she can just turn on the character, bam, nail it, then go back to the Kraft table and hoard doughnuts

- she starts out doing short films and indies and then swans right into big pictures in that way that almost NOBODY does, but she does

- it’s never occurred to Villanelle that everything wouldn’t fall into place for her, and it’s almost like through sheer force of confidence that it actually does.. people just don’t question her because she’s so obviously got It

- she’s all over the place, doing the most eclectic projects, bouncing from superhero flicks to deep dramas

- she’s a magazine darling bc she has the wildest fashion sense, but in interviews she’s chatty and conspiratorial and funny in this way that means you don’t really notice she hasn’t actually told you anything real about her until much later

- anyway Villanelle wraps the last block for her latest movie and then she’s herded off to London to do a music video with Sebastian, who she’s really not that fond of (she doesnt even listen to his songs)

- but Konstantin’s management group also reps him so she’s bribed into it

- Eve is a director (and aspiring screenwriter), and she’s good, she’s really fucking good, but she’s mostly stuck doing music videos that she’s not all that interested in because her boss Frank won’t cut her a break

- he always promises that “after this next one” he’ll send her through to one of his television buddies, but he never does

- “oh Eve, you’re too good here, just let it go”

- in her spare time, Eve’s writing a TV series, and it’s Ready, and having something she’s happy with and passionate about just makes the sets she’s on seem even more stagnant

- Kenny, an AD she’s had on a couple of projects (who is Very Supportive of her show idea), is the son of Carolyn Martens, who is like THE head of creative development at a huge production company

- and he manages to accidentally-on-purpose get them to run into each other so Eve has a few minutes to pitch

- and Carolyn tells Eve she likes her idea, but it’s kind of off-beat, really fresh in that shiny-new way that makes dusty dinosaur investors uncertain about profit margins

- like maybe it’s Too New, too much of a gamble

- but she says if Eve can find a way to make it more of a sure thing then she is IN

- so then Eve is directing the music video of this (honestly kinda basic) dude singer and this famous actress chick is gonna be in it

- Hugo their sound guy is Hype to meet her

- but Elena is like “yeah I’ve heard she’s a Problem” so Eve is all okay, Here We Go

- and then she sees Villanelle and there’s this whole stretched moment of just seeing her

- and then she remembers hey she saw this woman once in an arthouse film and she was incredible

- and obv That’s why her heart is doing That

- Eve just admires talent when she sees it, okay??

- and Villanelle as always goes from zero to a hundred

- like she can barely be bothered to be there but then she sees Eve and it’s Wow I Can’t Believe Music Videos Are My Actual Passion

- and yes Villanelle’s beyond into it but she’s also an ass, and like, what’s she going to do, NOT try to drive Eve up the wall? As if

- she Has to know what Eve looks like flustered

- has to know if Villanelle can fluster her into dragging her into some props closet and tearing her clothes off

- so from Eve’s side

- Elena’s sources from wardrobe departments across the country were not kidding

- Villanelle is a total nightmare

- but also not

- like every time Eve tells her to do or try something she always pushes back, has to ask fifty But Why questions

- it’s impossible to stay frustrated with her though bc once she’s on board she absolutely brings it, will keep going until she’s got it perfect

- and then once Eve can see she’s got that to work with she starts trying to really push too, to see what she can get out of her

- but… It’s a music video, not an Academy contender, so they get caught up in this “well how about this” back and forth until Kenny’s like… Uh Eve remember we only have like five days to shoot this whole thing

- Elena thinks it’s funny because there’s going to be a HUGE disparity between Sebastian’s fumbling help-I’m-just-here-to-sing acting and Villanelle’s totally committed nuanced performance

- then suddenly they’re done, and it’s been this total blur and Eve is kind of on a high from it because it’s the closest she’s come in so long to being able to make something she’s actually engaged with, that means something

- and she’s not willing to trudge back to Basic Town so she bites the bullet and just goes for it, like Fuck Frank

- and yeah Sebastian is … A little ordinary… But he’s commercially successful and has a pull with the 18-35s, so Eve approaches him after they’ve wrapped

- she pitches him being the featured artist on the soundtrack of her TV show

- he gets exposure, she gets his brand

- it’s not ideal – his isn’t the image that’d be her first choice to tie with her series, it’s not really the same vibe – but she’s not going to wait for Carolyn to forget about her

- and Sebastian says he’d like to help her, but he’d have to check with his managers, and what about his tour schedule, and does she need original music, and um –

- and then Villanelle’s all “oh I couldn’t help but overhear… You know, Eve, I’m looking to get into TV”

- Eve goes, “you are?”

- well she is nOW

- nevermind she’s turned down a dozen offers over the last few years to focus on her film career

- but her film career is going great

- and none of it is as FUN as winding Eve up this last week has been, and this was only a shitty music video

- a TV shoot would be a few months, would give them both so much more time and space to see what’s the best (and worst) they can really bring out in each other

- and Eve’s a bit lost

- because Villanelle is the It Girl du jour

- and Eve’s show hasn’t even been officially optioned but here’s all the free publicity she could want

- and she never bothered to consider it before but actually, Villanelle would be completely perfect for the lead

- perfect

- and now Eve’s thought about it it’s all coming together and she doesn’t want to let go of it again

- (and working with Villanelle some more wouldn’t suck, honestly, not completely)

- (might actually be – well)

- “are you for real?”

- “so for real,” and Villanelle’s drawling, eyebrow raised, almost smirking, but Eve can tell she’s serious

- oh this is so far above and beyond what Carolyn needed

- and that’s the start of it all

#killing eve #villanevest #ke #villaneve #villanelle #eve polastri #mine #villanelle x eve #eve x villanelle #villanevest writes #villaneve fic #villaneve au #saltandsunscreen

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welcometophu · 5 years ago

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Into the Split: Reconstruction 2

Twinned Book 3: Into the Split

Reconstruction 2

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Nikolai almost expects a celebration in Haverhill the next day, but there is nothing overtly done. Instead there is an air of calm that replaces the anxious expectation that had suffused them all in the recent weeks. In many ways, that’s easier. Nikolai feels like he can finally relax, even if there are still things that he needs to do. The worst of it is over; they have time for the rest.

His home will still be there, his family alive and waiting for him, and that’s the most important thing.

The delegates drift away, most of the older crowd and Clan leaving earlier, while many of the Mages linger. Rory says goodbye to his parents and grandparents, but Valentine stays, her daughter trailing after Alaric like a brightly-caped duckling, while her son lingers around the edges of the PHU crowd, listening intently.

At one point Cass turns to Elijah, her lips pursed. He blinks, as if surprised to gain the regard of one of the older people. “You’re staring,” she says curtly.

“So?” he retorts. “You do the same thing. Besides. I might want to go to PHU someday. I’m studying you.”

“Hmph.” Cass crosses her arms and turns her back on Elijah. At the same time, she takes a step to the right, a little closer to Nate, making space for Elijah in the circle.

He hesitates before stepping in and allowing them to include him.

Dayton makes a late entrance, moving as if she doesn’t have a care in the world while the rest of her community’s contingent waits impatiently to start the long drive home. Stormy trails behind her, barefoot and still in a rumpled sleep shirt and shorts. Stormy rubs at her eyes, yawning, stretching just as Dayton turns around and reaches for her.

Stormy falls against her with a small noise that turns to a low rumble as Dayton kisses her, then rubs her cheek against Stormy’s. Dayton sets her back on her feet, and Stormy sways slightly, her cheek flushed from the attention.

“I knew that was flirting when you met her,” Rory mutters.

“It wasn’t, not then, but oh man, she is fun,” Stormy admits. “It’s probably not a long-term thing, but it is going to be a good time every time we meet up. When are you planning on staging another crisis? I’ll pencil in another round of crisis survival sex.”

Mac coughs around a laugh while Rory looks pained. “I don’t need the details,” he mumbles, while Stormy nudges him with her shoulder.

“You’re still taking me back to PHU for the festival this weekend, right?” she says. “I promise to behave better than Thorne. Just let me go shower and pack up, and I’ll be ready to go.”

“It’s not hard to behave better than Thorne!” Rory calls after her, and Stormy laughs as she blows him a kiss before walking away.

Heather’s phone pings, and she opens it up, frowning. “I think I’m missing an exam. I don’t even remember an exam being scheduled this week. Why would anyone schedule an exam for election week? Everyone skips classes this week.”

“The professor’s a dick, remember?” Cass mutters. “I’m pretty sure he scheduled it on purpose because everyone still on campus probably got drunk last night.”

“Your absences are excused,” Pawel says. “I spoke to administration and you have all been noted as working on a special project for me, details to be provided upon my return to the school. You’ll be able to make up the exam next week, just in time for finals.”

“Lovely,” Heather mutters. “I didn’t have enough work to do in the next two weeks. Is there any chance they’ll just drop those grades? We did save the world.”

“I don’t think there’s any magic you can work for that one,” Nikita murmurs, her arm around Heather’s back. “But that’s okay. We just need to get through the tests—we can scream a lot during primal scream time—and then we get a whole summer off.”

“Some of us have to work for the summer,” Rory points out.

“You’re touring,” Nikita counters.

“That’s work! Have you ever set up heavy equipment, then spent an hour performing on a hot stage, and then lugged that heavy equipment off stage again so you could pack it up before getting stuck in a small, beat up van for hours on the road? It’s hard work,” Rory grumbles. “Plus it stinks. And I think Andy’s fiancé is coming along with us, and that’s just going to make all the arrangements at the motels messy. Plus we have an album to record. That we need to write songs for.”

Someone else counters with an example of working on a farm for the summer, and someone else complains about serving ice cream to hoards of small children. It’s all outside of Nikolai’s frame of reference, but it sounds like it’s normal for them.

Seth wraps his arms around Nikolai, whispering, “I’m looking forward to getting back to Havenhill and getting our own jobs. It’ll be hard work there, but it’ll be safe. Imagine what it’s going to be like when nothing’s chasing us, and the world isn’t falling into darkness.”

It sounds like bliss.

“Dax!” Cass’s voice breaks through the low chatter as Dax comes into the room. His light jacket is unzipped, hanging open, and his curly hair is windswept. He smiles, and there’s something lighter in his expression as he approaches Cass, wrapping his arms around her and kissing her quickly.

“Well?” Alaric asks.

“It’s done,” Dax says, his smile infusing his tone. “Orson’s settled, finally. He might still be around; I get the impression he wanted to stick around for you and Drea, if you want him to. But he’s not worried about war anymore. If he’s worried about you in general, that’s something you’ll have to solve yourself. If you go there to talk, he might be listening.”

“Is there a point, if he can’t talk back?” Alaric growls softly. Chris’s hand on his back stops him from stepping forward, but his expression is gloomy.

“Would it make you feel better?” Dax asks.

Alaric rocks back, gaze dropping.

“Let’s take a walk,” Chris says quietly. “We don’t have to leave right this second, and I don’t mind heading out there.” He slides his hand into Alaric’s and waits.

Alaric huffs, a disgruntled sound. “Thanks,” he grumbles before he turns away.

“Hey.” Carolyn touches Nikolai’s arm. “Can we talk for a second? Before we all get into cars and things get even more chaotic than they already feel.”

Nikolai glances at Seth; with his tacit approval, they both head for the back of the house and Carolyn follows them outside.

They sit on the bench that says for cats.

“Del left early,” Carolyn says quietly. “She woke me up before she went, but Sam and Shawn wanted to get home, and I think they were worried that if she stayed, she’d go back into the Dreamscape.”

“They think taking her home is going to change that?” Nikolai knows Carolyn understands from the way she smiles. “I don’t think anything will keep Del out of the Dreaming.”

“It wasn’t always about that for her,” Carolyn admits. “A long time ago we were very different people. We’re still trying to catch up with who we are now. But yeah, she’ll be there. She said to tell you that she’ll stay in touch with you, and that she promises not to get lost.”

Nikolai isn’t sure he believes that. He thinks the Dreamscape is a siren’s song to Del, something that wants to pull her in. It’s different from how it usually is for other Dreamwalkers who want to pull the Dreamscape into the real world instead. “You can tell her I’ll come find her after I’m home,” he promises in return. “But first Seth and I have to figure out how to get home.”

“Actually.” Carolyn twists her hands together. “I have a favor to ask you. Before you go.”

Nikolai can’t think why she’s nervous, unless��. “Does it involve staying? Because we really don’t want to unless we’re stuck,” he admits. “You’ve got a lot of good things here, but home has Josef and Mikhail.”

A soft, rough laugh. “No, I know you want to go, and I don’t blame you. I can’t imagine being somewhere separated from Kit, and yes, we’re twins, so maybe it’s different, and actually that—” She looks at him sideways. “Have you thought about what it’ll be like to be apart from Nikita now?”

“We aren’t that kind of close.” The words come easily, because they aren’t. Not like twins who were raised together, and not even like his brothers, despite the years when Nikolai thought they were dead. “It’s more like we’re the same person, not like siblings.” He likes Nikita, but he can handle the idea of being in a different world again. That seems more right than how they are now.

“I’d actually like to take a look at that scientifically.” Carolyn’s fingers tighten where they’re tangled in her lap. “This probably isn’t a thing in your world anymore; maybe it was before the Split. But we do a lot of genetic testing. People can send off their spit and have it come back with a report saying whether they’re related. People are always trying to find out their genetic heritage, or seeking out lost relatives. But I was thinking that I’d like to see how you and Nikita are related. If you wouldn’t mind.”

“Does it hurt?” Nikolai asks. When Carolyn shakes her head, he adds, “Is it dangerous?”

“Not at all. It’d just be a blueprint for who you are, and nothing really could be done with it.” Carolyn wrinkles her nose. “It might cause some confusion with the government since technically you don’t exist, but that’s what Sera’s for, I think. We can have her take care of things.” Her shoulders are still hunched and tense. “If you’re leaving, you probably won’t ever find out what—”

“Tell Del, have her tell me if you want to make sure I have that kind of closure,” Nikolai suggests. “You’ve already said she and I have a date to lie around in the meadow and watch butterflies, right?”

Carolyn’s shoulders soften as she laughs. “Right. I guess you do. I think—this might tell us something more about the genetics of Talent. Which I really would like to know more about, even though that’s not my field. I think it’ll help Kit, though. He wants to be a doctor. And I want to study why people do what they do, and sometimes knowing how things work helps. And the more we know about these twinned worlds—”

“The more of them you can go off and save?” Nikolai asks.

Carolyn gives him a startled look. “That’s not—”

“You said your Traveling is linked to the same kind of Talent that Dreamwalkers have and Shadowwalkers have, right?” It makes a kind of sense to Nikolai. “Now that the Split isn’t a pit of darkness, maybe it’s something you can use, too. Maybe you’re more like a traditional Shadowwalker than the corrupted kind that had been Emerging, and that’s why you couldn’t figure out how you fit in.”

“I—” Carolyn cuts off, her mouth slightly open.

Nikolai figures that’s a thought for later, because it might take Carolyn some time to come to terms with it. He reaches over, covers her tightly clasped hands with his own and squeezes. “Maybe I’ll see you again someday, too. I’m not sure I can say I’m glad about all of the things that have happened, but I’m glad we met, and I’m glad we were able to help each other here.”

He rises, Seth coming with him. When Nikolai reaches, Seth’s hand is there, fingers tangling together like they’ve always fit.

Carolyn stays where they left her, head bowed, brow furrowed.

“Do you want us to tell someone—”

Carolyn shakes her head. “Pretty sure Kit won’t let them leave without me,” she says quietly. “I’m just going to sit here and think for a little bit.”

“That was a hell of a theory to drop on her,” Seth whispers as they walk back into the house. Voices come from the front and they head in that direction so they can catch up with their ride back to PHU. “I didn’t even think of it.”

“I might be wrong,” Nikolai says. He doesn’t think he is, though. The more he rolls it over in his head, the more sense it makes. And he suspects that’s how they made it from one world to another in the first place. She might not be able to control it now, but he suspects that Carolyn is some kind of hybrid Shadowwalker that let her use the Split as it was. And hopefully as it is, eventually, too.

Valentine stands in the hall, meeting them before they can get to the crowd at the front. “I spent some time talking to Alaric,” she says.

“About Havenhill?” Seth asks, nodding as soon as he asks. “Okay, yes, about Havenhill.”

“Empaths are honestly a little disturbing,” Valentine replies. She looks down the hall, then motions for them to move into the great hall. It’s empty and echoing, aside from some tables around the edges, and a few chairs.

Nikolai really isn’t in the mood to sit down for another serious conversation again. “He told you about Val?”

“My counterpart that’s married to Alia’s counterpart? Yes,” Valentine agrees. “And that I apparently helped create this safe haven, and that I’m Alia’s right hand there, and her reasonability. And that I told you to leave.”

“It was a group decision, I think,” Nikolai says. “And we didn’t argue it. We broke the wards and let the Shadows in. We broke the rules of Havenhill.”

“Do you get to go back?” Valentine asks.

Seth laughs dryly.

“If we can figure out how,” Nikolai admits. “Why?”

Valentine stands with arms akimbo, hands resting on her hips and wrists bent with her elbows wide. She turns on her heels, looking out over the large room. As she exhales, tight shoulders lower and loosen, although her stance remains stiff. “Do you think you can carry anything back with you? I’d like to send you some research to give to the me of your world. They’re things I’d understand, and things I might not have thought of because we’re just different enough.”

“If we can carry it, maybe,” Seth says slowly. “Or if we read it, we might remember enough.”

Valentine makes a small displeased noise. “I think it’s going to be more than you’ll want to memorize. And you aren’t traditional Mages. You don’t know the Rituals and if you make mistakes when translating it through your memory, it might not go well when Val tries to use it. I’ll email Pawel. He can print it, and if you can carry it, fine. If not, well, I tried.”

“And what about here?” Seth asks.

Valentine turns back slowly, her weight resting on one heel as she turns. “What about here?”

“You’re going to work toward forging a relationship with Alia now, right?” Seth says firmly. “We may have pushed out the darkness created by the Shadows, but you still have a government out there that created them in the first place. You’re going to need each other.”

“What kind of relationship do you mean?” Valentine says curtly.

Seth raises his eyebrows. “The alliance kind. She’s married. I’m guessing you have a husband somewhere—”

“We divorced,” Valentine interrupts.

Seth makes a motion with his hand as if that isn’t important. “I’m not saying to get involved with her romantically. But befriend her. Forge that alliance between here and Burlington, the same one that Alaric already started.”

Valentine rocks backwards, turns away again as her hands slowly fall from her hips to hang by her sides. “We’ve started, too. I met with Theobald yesterday, and with Alaric, and we aren’t going to stay separate. We need each other, you’re right. The world needs to change, and I’m ready for that. From what I’ve heard of your world, it sounds like that change was pivotal to helping keep Talented people safe. We aren’t as endangered, but there are things here, as well. Like the virus that broke out in New Hampshire. Like the Shadows. Like the old histories between us that we could repeat again if we don’t watch out. So yes.” She turns back slowly. “We’ve made our alliance. This might not be your Havenhill, but we will work on creating a haven, both here and in Burlington, and possibly amongst the other communities as well. We are bringing our world together.”

Seth hesitates, his expression intent as if he’s trying to read her. He finally nods, and reaches back to tug Nikolai forward. “I think we’re all set, then. I’m glad things are in good hands here.”

Valentine doesn’t ask before stepping forward, her arms around both of them as she tugs them in. It feels awkward and strange, as she kisses first Seth’s cheek, then Nikolai’s. This Valentine is much more open—much less hardened—than their Val.

“Don’t look at me like that,” Valentine says. “Give her time to warm up to you. And to relax. I can imagine what she’s like.”

“You should see Alia,” Nikolai mutters.

Valentine laughs at that.

She keeps her arms around them as they move through the house and out to the front, where most of the cars are gone, but a few still linger. Pawel stands with Alia, his hand out and clasped in hers. She stands almost relaxed, her shoulders rested and loose as they speak quietly before Pawel finally draws back.

He looks up at waves as Nikolai and Seth emerge from the house. “I’d wondered if I was going to have to go find you. Mac’s already in the car. Ready to go?”

Pawel still looks like he’s half a ghost. His skin is pale, his eyes darkly rimmed in shadows. But there’s a life to his step that’s been missing, and Nikolai suspects that he’s slept more than anyone else. Which is good; he needed it.

Nikolai pauses by the car to take one last look at the big house. Alia stands on the step, as Valentine turns to go inside. It’s familiar, but not, and Nikolai hopes that the next time he sees something similar, he’ll be home.

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#welcome to phu #welcometophu #into the split #phu twinned #twinned #its reconstruction

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desertdollranch · 5 years ago

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what would maryellen or samantha's life be like as adults? i'm loving all the 'future' asks! :D

I had to think about this one overnight because I have a few different ideas.

Samantha would have a LOT going on. With no need to work and no desire to settle down as a wealthy man’s wife, then I’m sure she would focus a lot of time on things she cared about. Grandmary won’t live forever so eventually she’d leave the house and her money to Gard, who’d be happy to give Samantha access to both. He’s got his own money, and always felt that excessive greed was in bad taste. He’s so proud that Samantha wants to use it for good.

After university, Samantha and Nellie would be running a school for girls in New York City, similar to Crampton’s Academy but for girls from the working class, from immigrant families, and orphan girls. Free tuition and free lunch. Bridget and Jenny would be involved in some capacity. Possibly it would be connected to a settlement house some way, so that Cornelia could also be involved, as she so enjoyed doing.

The 30s are a little rough for Samantha and Nellie but they make it through okay. During the Great Depression, Samantha would have done something like the Kittredge family and opened the Parkington house as a boarding house. No need to hoard such a huge house for one person when people are being evicted and turned out on the street. I think it was Welcome to Kit’s World that talked about how wealthy people with huge houses were pressured to do this, since one or two people occupying a house was seen as wasteful and unfair to the people who had nowhere to live.

Hawkins and Mrs. Hawkins are old and retired by then and Samantha makes sure they’re well cared for. Jessie has several more children, and so Samantha pays her a little more to work from home when she feels up to it. She offered to support Jessie without working, but Jessie still considers the dresses she makes for Samantha to be pieces of art.

Despite all of her charitable pursuits and caring for others, Samantha still makes time for herself. She hangs out with Agnes and Agatha a lot and plays cards and board games with them while drinking lots of wine. She takes her young cousin William sledding any time there’s enough snow. She visits all the museums in New York City.

And once a month in the warmer months, she makes a solo trip out to Piney Point to work on her paintings. Sometimes she paints what she sees, sometimes she paints what she remembers, and sometimes she what she neither sees nor remembers. She visits Teardrop Island so much that she builds a little one-room cabin there, and calls it the Crying Cottage. Both it and the island certainly live up to their names.

Maryellen I have a vastly different feel for. I think that around the time she turns twelve, her mother would have a seventh child, a girl, and at that point Maryellen would be a little exasperated. Joan had just moved out, and now they’re back to six kids again? And this one is moving into the girls’ room, which had just cleared some space? Maryellen loves her new little sister, of course, but after Carolyn moves out the year after, Maryellen is the oldest child at home and has a lot of responsibility for the younger kids.

So she’d be eager and anxious to get out on her own, and at 18 she moves out to Missoula, Montana to attend university there. That road trip she took at ten years old had a huge impression on her, as she realized that the rest of the world is very much not like Florida. She loves the big sky, the dry air, the beautiful and colorful autumns. She never lost her love for science, and decides to study geology. She gets to go on lots of field trips to Yellowstone National Park and Glacier National Park.

In addition to her research and teaching at the university, Maryellen also does a lot of volunteer work with her local Girl Scouts. She gives regular lectures and leads activities teaching about earth sciences, and does guided hikes with them to places that are geologically interesting, which are easy to find in the mountain west. She also gives presentations at elementary and middle schools, since she has such a gift for communicating science in a way that kids understand and connect with.

In the 90s, Davy wants to do a documentary about the volcanoes of Yellowstone, and he asks Maryellen to be part of it. This puts some of her research on the map and gets a lot of people interested in it.

She travels a lot but always comes home to Montana. She forms her own family of other women who grew up in the 1950s and felt the pressure to be anyone but themselves. The 1970s are good to her. She’s very happy with herself. She keeps pet snails and frogs and bird feeders in the yard.

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crows-scones-and-exy-thrones · 5 years ago

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1, 12 and 17 for the book asks :D

Thank you for the asks I appreciate you very much

1. Book you’ve reread the most times?

Probably Carry On by Rainbow Rowell, although I'm not sure if you count all the times I skipped past the slow burn like the impatient bitch I am.

12. Did you enjoy any compulsory high school readings?

I did! Farenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury is still one of my favorites.

17. Top 5 children’s books?

I never really read any children's books but here we go.

The Very Hungry Caterpillar by Eric Carle

All the Nancy Drew books by Carolyn Keene. I used to hoard these. I still own 10 or so. I'm going to include the Hardy Boys series by Edward Stratemeyer here because this is my post and I say so.

Goodnight Moon by Margaret Wise Brown

The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein. God, this book continues to hurt me to this day. Ugh. My heart.

Love You Forever by Robert Munsch and illustrated by Sheila McGraw. Another book that broke my heart. I read it in a Barnes and Noble a few weeks ago to refresh my memory and I was just sobbing in the kid's section in a book store.

Send me asks!

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glasskaleidoscopes · 5 years ago

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Chapter 6 - Sunday, November 1st, 2009

I feel like this chapter is so relatable, and has quite a bit of fluff. Let me know what you think :)

Carolyn woke with a start when her alarm went off. She was acutely aware of how badly she had to pee, so she flung off the comforter. To her horror, there was a large red spot around her pelvis. Carolyn’s eyes grew and she groaned when she realized that she had started her period. She was the last of her friends to start, as both Sallie and Vera both had already had their periods before they met each other. Carolyn was kind of hoping she would never get her period, since she had heard horror stories from Vera and Sallie about how painful cramps were and how annoying it was when their pads leaked. She had also seen firsthand how irritable the girls could be when they were on their periods. Carolyn stood up away from the mess and wrapped her comforter around her waist. Sam had slightly stirred at her alarm going off, but was already snoring again. She quietly opened the door and walked down the hall to Vera’s door. She knew Vera was still sleeping, but she needed her help. She pounded on the door, hoping to wake her best friend. She heard a groan from Vera, but no sign of her getting out of bed.

“Vera get up. I need your help.” Carolyn shout-whispered through the door, hoping not to call any attention to herself from the other Brudowski siblings. Thankfully Carolyn was usually the first of the children up, as Janet usually had to drag the rest of the high schoolers out of bed so they could get to school on time. Carolyn pounded on the door once more and then heard Vera get out of bed.

“What?” Vera asked sleepily, then she looked really confused as she noticed the comforter wrapped around Carolyn’s waist.

Carolyn leaned in closer to Vera and hissed, “I think I started my period.” Vera’s eyes grew wide, and now she understood why the comforter was around Carolyn’s waist.

“Finally! After you shower, make sure you put a pad in your underwear.” Vera explained with a smirk across her face.

“Where are they?” Carolyn asked, looking a little nervous.

“They’re underneath the sink in the girl’s bathroom.” The house had three bathrooms on the second floor, one was designated for the boys, one was designated for the girls, and the third was a small half-bath that was used if the other two bathrooms were occupied. Carolyn nodded and went back to her bedroom to get her stuff to shower. She was hoping no one had heard their conversation, as Vera was not one to be quiet with sensitive conversations.

Forty five minutes later, the five high schoolers somehow all ended up in the van with enough time to get to school on time. Carolyn usually sat in the middle since she was the smallest of the bunch, while the twins sat in front, with Andrew driving, and Jared and Vera on either side of her. Carolyn sat with her head down looking at her hands. She could not deal with Adrian’s ever-present eyes stealing glances at her through then rear view mirror.

Things between Carolyn and Adrian were just as weird as they were a month ago at Carolyn’s birthday party. Carolyn constantly felt Adrian’s kind eyes on her whenever they were in the same room. Carolyn was actually kind of glad that there was literally no privacy in the Brudowski home, because she was sure she would die if she and Adrian ended up in the same room alone again. But that didn’t stop Adrian from trying to make contact. Every so often, Carolyn would be going upstairs while Adrian was going down, and he would smile at her and say, “you look nice today.” Or when the hoard of kids were all shuffling out the door for Sunday church, Adrian would hold the door open for everyone and he would put his hand on Carolyn’s shoulder as she walked out the door. Even though each of these gestures were small, every time Carolyn felt Adrian’s hand on her, the heat from his hand would linger for hours, and she had to take deep breaths to calm herself down.

Not only were these little gestures and encounters completely encompassing Carolyn’s thoughts, but she was also completely overwhelmed with learning how to live with three teenage boys. Back in her old apartment, Sam would wander around in his pajamas all the time, but he was only 10 years old and clearly still a boy. It was very different when two 17 year olds and a 16 year old would hang around the house in their pajamas, which usually only consisted of a pair of pajama pants or boxers. When she and Sam had first moved in, most of the boys wore white t-shirts, but those had been discarded about two weeks after they had moved in.

Carolyn was frustrated because she knew no one understood her predicament. Vera had grown up with these boys, so it didn’t phase her in the least. Sallie had kind of experienced this, but most of the time when Sallie slept over, the t-shirts would come back on, or the boys would sleep in so late you wouldn’t even see them until Sallie’s parents had picked her up the next morning, or they would come out of their bedrooms already dressed in their Sunday best. Sallie has never seen these boys stumble downstairs on a random Tuesday morning in only a pair of boxers, with their hair still mussed up from sleep, and dried drool on their chin.

Sallie was very enthralled with the ‘secret details of living with teenage boys’, but it was much easier to hear the details than to live with them. These teenage boys were tall and thin, and they had a lot of muscular definition not seen in her 10 year old brother. This was all on top of the fact that one of the 17 year-olds had beautiful brown eyes and brown hair, and he actually seemed very interested in Carolyn. She didn’t know what to do.

These thoughts and dilemmas were what Carolyn thought about most of the time during classes. It was a good thing she did homework with Sallie and Vera, because she often had no idea what was said during class.

She met her two friends at their usual round cafeteria table for lunch. They were chatting about their classes and the current drama going around in the school when Vera changes the subject, “Carolyn, what’s going on with Michael? You haven’t said anything about him in forever.” Vera usually was not one to bring up Carolyn’s long-term crush, as she did not want to listen to her drone on and on about him for the rest of the period. However, Carolyn had said nothing about him since before her dad died. Vera expected him to be absent from Carolyn’s mind for a while, but Carolyn was starting to act close to normal, and she expected the obsession to come back in full force.

“Oh? Umm, yeah, I think I’m over him.” Carolyn was completely caught off guard. She had completely stopped obsessing over Michael ever since her birthday party, and wasn’t really sure how to explain to Vera why. Sallie shot Carolyn a worried look, as she of course knew exactly why Michael was no longer in Carolyn’s thoughts.

“What do you mean, over him? You obsessed about him for over a year!” Vera asked incredulously. She couldn’t believe her boy-crazy friend would just drop her crush, especially since there hadn’t been a new boy that captured her friend’s attention. So she thought.

“I guess I just realized that you were right. He barely knows I exist, so why waste my time with him, right?” Carolyn explained, hoping this would appease her suspicious friend.

This response made Vera smile, “I knew you would come around eventually. Glad to see you’re joining the rest of the world.” Carolyn ignored this slightly mean comment, because at least her friend seemed willing to drop the conversation.

A few days later, on a Wednesday evening, Vera and Carolyn were working on homework at the dining room table when Carolyn received a text.

-Hey will you come down to the basement?

Carolyn looked down at her phone and frowned, she didn’t recognize this number. She replied, who is this?

A few moments later her phone buzzed, it’s Adrian.

Carolyn looked at her phone and her heart started thumping. She responded, how did you get my number?

A few beats, then, my mom gave all of us your number when you and Sam moved in.

“Who are you texting?” Vera interrupted.

Carolyn slightly panicked, “Oh just Sallie. She’s complaining about how her parents wouldn’t let her come over today.” What Carolyn had said was not wrong, Sallie’s parents had had enough of Sallie spending every afternoon at the Brudowski home, especially now that Carolyn was not actively grieving.

“Ugh I know, it’s so dumb. But text back in our group text, I feel so left out.” Vera agreed. Carolyn nodded her head, quickly texted Sallie, filling her in with Carolyn’s white lie, then texted back into their group.

Carolyn felt her phone buzz again, so will you come down to the basement? I want to talk to you. Carolyn took a deep breath. “I’m going to the bathroom, I’ll be right back.”

Vera nodded, this was also not out of the realm of possibilities. Carolyn’s first period had not spared her from any of the annoyances of menstruating. She had to change her pad every couple of hours, and was fully relying on the awesome power of ibuprofen to stave off her cramps. Not only that, but she knew her mood could swing wildly at the drop of a hat. She had almost yelled at Janet, and could burst out into tears after one upsetting comment. She wished she could control this, but when she was lashing out at the people she loved, it was almost like she was watching a stranger.

Carolyn walked down the basement stairs carefully. She rarely visited this room because it was an unfinished basement that really creeped her out. It was about 10 degrees cooler than the rest of the house, and contained mainly a couple couches, a big t.v., a few gaming consoles, and an old desk. This room largely belonged to Andrew and Adrian, because they didn’t care about killing the occasional spider, and they liked how the room was cooler than the rest of the house. Plus, they enjoyed the relative privacy of the room. They spent most evenings in the basement working on their homework and playing video games. When Carolyn reached the bottom of the staircase, she only saw one twin, and the room felt impossibly quiet.

Adrian turned around as he heard Carolyn come down the stairs. His eyes shone bright in the dim basement light. He stood up and walked over to Carolyn, with a small smile across his face.

“Hey. Sorry I know you’re probably doing homework, but I have to tell you something.” Carolyn’s heart leaped when her eyes met his.

“Where’s Andrew?” Carolyn asked, wondering why he was alone.

“He’s in his room. His girlfriend broke up with him after school today.” Adrian explained easily.

“Oh, I didn’t even know he had a girlfriend.” Carolyn was surprised she hadn’t heard anything about her. Really she was surprised she hadn’t heard her sneaking into Andrew’s room at night.

“They had only been dating for a month, but Andrew really liked her. I’m glad they’re broken up, I always thought that she was way too vapid for Andrew.” Adrian babbled on. Carolyn shook her head and looked down at her feet.

“Anyways.” Adrian started. He took in a big breath, “I want you to know that I think you’re beautiful. I’ve thought so ever since I met you.” Adrian tried to lock eyes to Carolyn. He wrapped his large hand around Carolyn’s arm, and she looked up into his eyes.

“Wh-, What?” Carolyn’s mind was imploding, she had no idea how to react to this older boy’s praise. She had never thought of herself as beautiful, and she was pretty sure no one had ever told her she was either.

“Carolyn, I like you.” Adrian looked steadily into Carolyn’s eyes, but he uttered these words much less confidently than he had previously sounded. Carolyn took a step back and Adrian’s arm fell down to his side. She couldn’t move any further back without backing up into the staircase. Carolyn’s mood changed from confused to angry.

“Why are you telling me this? What do you want to do about it?” Carolyn couldn’t contain the hurt in her voice. She had thought a million times about dating Adrian, but she knew it absolutely could never happen.

“I’m sorry. I can’t help how I feel.” Adrian quietly said, now he was the one looking down at the floor. Carolyn was taken aback at how vulnerable Adrian was. He normally towered over Carolyn easily, with his muscular frame dwarfing her slight frame. But now, with this sudden confession, he seemed even smaller than her. Carolyn wanted to soften, but she still felt so angry.

“But it’s not like we could even date. If Vera were to find out, she absolutely would hate me. And just imagine if your mom found out. She definitely would kick Sam and I out.” Carolyn explained, a little less harsh than before.

“Vera would not hate you. She would probably be weirded out for a little, but she’d get over it. And my mom would never kick you guys out.” Adrian gained a little more of his normal confidence, “but yeah, my mom could never know.” Carolyn looked into Adrian’s eyes, she smiled, but then shook her head.

“Yeah, it could never happen. Plus you’re a senior.” Carolyn’s expression turned stony. She never understood why Adrian was so persistent, or why he was interested in her in the first place. She was almost 3 years younger, and she was far from womanly. She wore the smallest bra size they had in the store, and her butt hardly made an impression in her jeans. She still had no idea how to wear makeup, so she didn’t even try.

“That doesn’t matter. Are you saying that if you didn’t live here, you would be willing to give us a chance?” Adrian’s look became hopeful, albeit still a little timid.

“There is no us to give a chance. Plus it doesn’t matter because I don’t have anywhere else to go.” Carolyn could feel her face heating up, and she knew she couldn’t keep talking or else she would start crying. Damn those hormones.

Adrian sighed and grabbed Carolyn’s hand, “Carolyn, I would never, ever ask you to leave. I know that this is an impossible situation. I just want you to know my feelings. You completely capture my attention as soon as you enter a room. I think you are stunning.”

Carolyn’s head was spinning, first she was beautiful, and now she’s stunning? She took a moment before she responded, “I don’t know what to say to that. I’ve never thought of myself that way. Plus I’ve never had a boyfriend, I’ve never even kissed anyone. And before you put your hand on mine, no boy and ever really touched me beyond pushing me forward.” Carolyn was right. All this attention from Adrian was a little overwhelming, and she really didn’t know how to react. She was so hesitant to even let herself have real feelings for Adrian, because he was older and more mature than she was. He had experience with experienced girls, and she could never stand up to that. Plus, he made her nervous; one look from him could reduce Carolyn to a puddle. Adrian stirred up feelings beyond her previous crushes, and she could barely keep track of them.

Adrian smiled at what Carolyn said, “well, everyone has to start somewhere. But I won’t push you to do anything you don’t want to.” Adrian dipped his head down so that he could look more into Carolyn’s eyes.

“Thanks, but I’ve got to go, I’ve been gone way too long and Vera is probably suspicious already.” Carolyn smiled as Adrian squeezed her hand. Carolyn jogged back up the stairs and found Vera buried in Spanish homework. Carolyn caught up to where Vera was in her Spanish homework, then glazed through the rest of the evening’s work. A couple hours later, Vera and Carolyn retired to their respective bedrooms. Sam was already asleep when Carolyn climbed into her bed. She felt like her head was so full. She couldn’t believe the conversation she had with Adrian. She was thinking that she would need to go over to Sallie’s after school tomorrow to first tell her everything that happened, but also to get a break from Adrian.

Carolyn still couldn’t believe that this 17 year old boy, almost man, thought she was beautiful. That he had feelings for her ever since they met. It didn’t make sense. The boys Sallie talked about seemed so much easier to deal with. You would like a boy, then befriend him until he noticed you enough to develop his own feelings. Instead, Adrian had sidelined Carolyn with heavy feelings that had never been returned to her. She was so used to liking a guy without him ever noticing her. It felt so much safer, even though it was painful to wish so much that the guy would like you back.

The way Adrian talked, she didn’t know what to do. She obviously was infatuated with him, what 15 year old girl wouldn’t be? She had always thought Adrian was cute, and she always thought he was cuter than his twin, Andrew. That’s also because Andrew’s personality was so much tougher than Adrian’s. The twins spent so much time together, but they had key differences. Andrew swung from girl to girl, he was always out on some date, and recently Carolyn was clued into the noise Vera talked about, which mostly came from Andrew’s room. Adrian, on the other hand, was one of the most gentle people Carolyn had ever met.

But Carolyn wasn’t sure how to feel beyond infatuation. She had no romantic experience with boys. She didn’t even know how to flirt. Sallie had tried to teach Carolyn how to flirt, and she saw Sallie flirting with boys all the time, but it all felt so awkward any time she tried. She knew Sallie had also never been kissed, but she had had a few ‘boyfriends’ in middle school, where they would hold hands and break up in 2 weeks. Vera had kissed a few boys before, but never really dated anyone, and she insisted that the kisses were nothing special. Carolyn fell into fitful dreams while she was analyzing the evening’s events.

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