#carlton lassiter imagine

[crazyk-imagine]

The Ocean plus Shawn equals Chaos

Pairing: Carlton Lassiter x Female!reader

Characters: Carlton Lassiter, Female!reader, Shawn Spencer, Burton "Gus" Guster, Henry Spencer, Juliet O'Hara, Buzz McNab

Warnings: Fluff, classic Shawn screams, psych vibes, Lassie is a simp for his baby girl, Henry is a wise man, we listen to him at all times, reader lowkey lightly trying to kill Shawn, McNab makes an appearance

Word Count: 655

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You don’t know how it started but, you pull the blanket tighter around you to get warm.

You huff as you feel like you’re getting colder and colder by the minute.

You look up and notice the movement beside Carlton’s shoulder. You narrow your eyes and notice the one person you're thankful to see but also want to punch.

He gets closer with each step he takes. He feels bad about what happened and wants to apologize, he’s close to doing so until he sees the expression on your face.

You push yourself off the step on the back of the ambulance to chase after your idiot friend.

Shawn immediately starts running backwards and starts screaming like a little girl, which would have amused you more had the case not happened.

He runs around a car and tries his best to evade you but continues to fail with each turn he takes.

If he knew you couldn’t seriously fight him, he would have been able to use more common sense instead of running on “fumes”.

He runs past the crowd aka your other best friend, Shawn's dad, his crush, and Carlton, he continues to make poor excuses to hide from you even if they’ve already said no.

“Shouldn’t we help him?” Juliette asks, cringing every time he screams.

“No. He’s got what’s coming to him,” Henry says.

“Isn’t that a little harsh?” Gus chimes in.

“Do you want her to be the one chasing you?”

He sucks in air through his teeth, thinking it over and decides he’d rather live than be in the same predicament as his best friend. “He’ll be fine.”

“Well, I’m not fine. She should be on her way to the hospital by now,” Carlton says before standing in front of Shawn, who then screams in horror.

“Is this how I go? How am I supposed to live on when I never got to pass on my legacy to the children?!” Gus furrows his brows, “you don’t have any.” Shawn gasps, clutching his chest.

“And I don’t have any children!” You stop in front of him, but Carlton shoves him out of the way and grabs, pushing you back towards an ambulance. “Back to the ambulance.”

“Carlton, I’m fine.”

“Well, I’m not. Now you better get your butt back in the ambulance or you’re gonna have me to deal with.”

You avoid his gaze and listen to his advice, slowly trailing back to the ambulance where Buzz is, worriedly searching for you. “Oh, thank God. I mean- I knew where you were.”

You narrow your eyes at him, “you’re lying.”

He opens his mouth, looking like a fish out of water, scared to admit that he did temporarily lose you because Carlton will have his head.

“Lassie, I want to go home.”

“You can go home after you’ve been checked out,” he says with a soothing voice.

“Stop treating me like I’m five.”

“Okay, once you're done with the doctor, then you can go home.”

“That’s slightly better but thank you nonetheless.”

The corner of his lip’s curves upward, “it’s my job to make sure you're safe.”

You curl back into the blanket, reaching for his hand. “Thank you,” you tell him, understanding the hidden meaning behind his comment.

“Hey, Lassie! Are you two dating?” You stare at Carlton and smile, “I’m going to kill him. Please visit me in prison.”

He opens his mouth to ask what you mean but you’re gone before he could even make a sound.

Shawn squeals and takes off, passing Henry, who shakes his head. “Stop running!”

“No, you want to hurt me!”

“Maybe I wouldn’t if you’re crazy girlfriend didn’t try to drown me!”

“We were never together! I only like those who are reasonably crazy!”

“Well, then reasonably take my foot up your-”

“Okay, Gus, go stop them,” Henry tells him. “What? Why me?”

“You’re their best friend.”

“Not right now I’m not.” 

[silliestofg33sevik]

My brain made up a scenario based on something in the psych discord server and it's

Karen had some under cover world that needed two men willimg to do anything and lassie agreed way to quickly and Shawn thought it would be fun to see what they had to do so the convo would go like this

V: I need to men to go under cover who are willing to **anything**

L: I'll do it.

V: you don't know the details?

L: so? I don't need them.

S: I guess I'll join too

V: you're not a cop?

S: but I am psychic!

V: fine....but it's not what you think!

And this is what happend

Close ups😭

I truly think my humour has peaked with the

L:"I have a gun on me"

S:"w...WHERE!?"

[wolpertingerprompts]

Psych/Mythbusters crossover

Shawn and Carlton, and Adam and Jamie are both individually out somewhere and the two pairs meet for the first time.

Adam and Shawn find something to be their usual excites me selves about together, while Carlton and Jamie bond while fondly complaining about their hyperactive, adhd boyfriends.

[meltingsandwhich]

Being Shawn Spencer's sibling would include

First time writing for psych! Such an underrated show <3

Lots of banter and arguing, especially as kids

Your father always having to break it up

Your father would most likely train you along with Shawn

Facepalming at a lot because of his constant antics

Your brother probably showing up at your doorstep in the middle of the night more than once

"(Y/N), don't get mad-"

Everyone points out how different you are from him

Shawn brings you to crime scenes, much to Lassiters annoyance

Lassiter totally likes you more than Shawn

Being good friends with Gus and Juliet

All of you shaking your heads at Shawn

Threatening to tell your father about what he's up to all the time

Shawn always embarrassing you about your childhood

Shawn would give you nicknames like he does with Gus

Helping your brother and Gus on cases

All jokes aside, you'd both do anything for each other, and you both rely on each other

[obsidiancreates]

Henry Spencer Is A Bastard (With A Broken Nose)

Shawn and Jules have been living together for two weeks when Jules storms into the precinct, grabs Lassiter by the arm, and drags him into the interrogation room.

“O’Hara, what the hell is-”

“You’ve spent time alone with Henry,” she says, sitting Lassiter in the suspect chair. “What was he like?”

“What?”

“This is important, Carlton.”

Lassiter sighs, looking around the room for a moment before answering. “Unpleasant and judgemental. He had every quality of a great cop but none of an actual person I’d spend time with.”

“Which for you is saying something,” Jules mumbles, looking to the side. “Would-would you say you think he’s capable of intentional child endangerment or neglect?”

Lassiter sits up more. “What? O’Hara, what is this about?”

Jules takes a deep breath, looking down at her hands. “I was helping Shawn get some stuff from his old room, and we found an old journal from when he was a kid.It was mostly just doodles and half-finished homework, and he said to just throw it away, but… I kept it. I thought it was cute, to be able to look at what went through his brain as a kid.”

“O’Hara. If you’re alleging what I think-”

“I read more later while he was out with Gus and one of the pages was a failed writing assignment. He was supposed to write about what he did over the weekend and he wrote that his dad locked him a trunk and made him pretend to be kidnapped.”

Lassiter lets out a breath. “Okay. But you and I both know Spencer’s imagination-”

“Carlton, remember the kicked-out tailight? When he got shot?”

“O’Hara, I was with Henry through that whole investigation, and I don’t think I can say that the man I investigated with would purposefully hurt or neglect his son. He was like a machine through the whole thing.”

“There was more, though, Carlton. One of the assignments was to write about how they spent Easter and Shawn’s said he got cut on some glass trying to dig up his eggs. He drew a picture, it-”

She pulls out her phone and hands it to her partner. Lassiter looks at a crude drawing of a small stick figure on it’s hands and knees, overly-large shards on the ground in front of it, and an egg a good few lines below it. There’s a taller stick figure behind the small one, with a wide-open mouth and the words ‘You can do better, Shawn,’ written beside it.

The teacher’s note on the side says that Shawn needs to stop making up stories for assignments about his real life.

Lassiter hands the phone back. “O’Hara…”

Jules sits back in her chair a bit, the tension giving way to a slumped tiredness. “I know they’ve never had an… easy relationship, but Henry has always been so present, ever since we’ve known Shawn. I thought that was a good thing and Shawn’s discomfort was just Shawn being… Shawn.” She looks down at her hand in guilt. “What if I completely missed that he has reason, Carlton?”

Lassiter grabs one of Jules’s hands. “O’Hara, Henry Spencer is a bitter, unlikeable, and overbearing old man- but I really don’t think he’s capable of child abuse.”

Jules holds his hand back and gives it a squeeze. “I just… don’t know how to ask Shawn if these are real. He’s not exactly forthcoming about messy emotions and memories.”

Lassiter nods, and then blinks. “So let’s ask Guster. They’ve been stuck together like flies on a flytrap forever.”

Jules shakes her head. “If Shawn isn’t going to say anything, I really don’t think Gus will.”

“Well, you can either ask Guster if these are real, or you can worry about it forever and never get any answers.” Lassiter knows his partner well enough to know that’s unacceptable to her.

She gives his hand one more squeeze. “I’m just worried. Henry works here. He’s in charge of Shawn.”

“And I’m sure that when we talk to Guster about all this, we’ll learn that Spencer was just exaggerating like he always does.”

—-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Gus reads the page with wide eyes. “Wait, he was serious about that?”

Lassiter stifles the urge to shout ‘Come on!’ when he hears Jules suck in a breath.

“You mean you knew about this already?”

“I mean, Shawn told me once that he liked Easter at my house way more because there was no ‘manhunt training’, but I thought he just meant something like when his dad would have him stakeout their porch.”

“He what?”

“It, sounds worse than it is. … I think.” Gus looks down at the old notebook again. “I thought. … I mean, Henry was always a little intense. When Shawn and I were boyscouts he used to set up challenges that were impossible to win, and then make us feel bad for not winning.”

“What do you mean, impossible to win?” Lassiter is starting to get concerned now. Shawn’s incessant need to show everyone up has been a pain in his ass for years, and if Henry reinforced that grating attitude and now acts like he tried to quell it-

“Stuff like telling us to go find a rocket in the middle of the woods and then going and grabbing it himself. He used to promise us ice cream if we won, then say he’d eat it himself if we didn’t win next time.” Gus’s face pinches the more he talks about the memories. “Gosh, I haven’t thought about that in years. I guess I didn’t realize how messed up that is until I said it out loud.”

“It’s horrible,” Jules says.

“But not criminal,” Lassiter reminds her. “And as… weird and dangerous as the eggs thing is, that’s not criminal either. … I think.”

“What about the trunk, Carlton?”

“... Yeah, that part’s looking pretty bad.”

Gus shuts the notebook. “We need to talk to Shawn about this. I don’t know if I’m even remembering right, but I know he will.”

“He’d never open up about something like this,” Jules says, gesturing to the notebook and letting her arms drop back to her sides with a flop. “He barely tells me about his childhood at all.”

“Well I was there for most of it, and I need to make sure I didn’t miss some serious abuse going down for our entire lives. Do you know how many times I’ve defended his dad to him, Juliet? … Oh my god, on that same boyscout trip with the rocket, he told me his dad had never said he loved him!”

Lassiter doesn’t need to look at Jules to know she’s probably seething with the rage of the entire underworld- if he believed in such a thing. 

Henry better hope they find out it’s not as bad as it’s seeming.

—-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When Shawn gets home, Jules, Lassiter, and Gus are all sitting on the couch looking somber. Well, Jules and Gus look somber. Lassiter looks mildly offput.

“Guys! What’s all this, are we having some kinda surprise party?” Shawn looks around for decorations, but there’s nothing. He looks back with excitement. “Is it a case? A big one?”

“Shawn, sit down, we need to ask you about something.” Jules gestures for him to take a seat on a different chair.

“Uh-oh. That’s not your happy voice.” Shawn sits down and leans forward. “Hey, babe, what’s wrong?”

Jules takes a deep breath, and pulls out the notebook. Shawn looks at it. “Oh, that? Please don’t tell me that my drawing skills when I was eight are a dealbreaker.”

“Shawn, did Henry…” Jules falters. Shawn’s expression… 

It doesn’t harden, per say. It just… shifts. Becomes a little closed-off.

“Spencer, did Henry actually make you dig through broken glass to find ridiculous holiday candy?” Lassiter says, offering Jules his hand for support. She takes it.

Shawn’s mouth quirks up in the corner, a huff-laugh escaping him. His eyes aren’t as amused, a dark look in them. “What? How-how’d you know about that?”

“Oh my god.” Gus looks sick.

“Guys, seriously, what is this?” Shawn reaches out and snatches the notebook, flipping through it. Fast at first, and then slower. The slight smirk disappears completely, and Jules and Gus know that habit of sticking his tongue over his teeth means Shawn is not in a good emotional space whatsoever as he reads.

He closes the notebook and tosses it onto the coffee table, sitting back into the chair and sniffling. “It’s uh- it’s nothing.”

“Dude, that is not nothing. I thought you were making that stuff up when we were kids!”

“What? Why would I make that up?” That just seems to confuse Shawn.

“Because you were always making things up!”

“Not about my dad! You were like, the one person I could talk about him with! You thought I was lying about everything the whole time?” Now he looks hurt. 

“Not everything, but crazy stuff like him locking you in a trunk in the middle of a hot day and putting broken glass over your eggs, yeah! Oh my go- this makes me look back on everything I know in a completely different light, Shawn!”

“Okay, you can’t actually be this surprised, Gus. I mean, you were at my house all the time, you know how he was. We couldn’t even play hide-and-seek without me getting a lecture about hunting perps the right way.” The bitterness in his voice is familiar to his friends, the way he keeps from meeting their eyes, the arms crossed over his chest and tense body language. It’s not that they’ve never seen him like this. But they’ve never seen him like this and truly understood it. Even Gus.

Gus, who looks increasingly horrified as he thinks back on more and more memories. “When we were really little and you told me your dad would throw you out for reading comics, were you serious?”

Shawn scoffs a little. “No, I wasn’t.”

“Did he actually ban them?”

“... Yeah. That part he did. He said they made cops look bad.”

“Good god, Spencer, you’re talking like everything in your house was about cops twenty-four-seven.”

“Gee, Lassie, I wonder why. You’ve met my dad, right?”

“But you’re talking like he expected you to be a perfect cop from the second you were born.”

Shawn goes silent. He still won’t look at any of them.

“Oh, my god.” Jules reaches out to put a hand on Shawn’s knee. “Shawn, did he expect that?”

“... Look, guys, it’s… it’s done, alright? It is what it is, and… I’ve accepted that, and I’m working on making things work with my dad. I don’t… I don’t need this. Okay? I don’t want to think about it and get all…” He huffs. “Last time I thought a little too hard about all this stuff I ended up on my motorcycle with nowhere to go, and-and I don’t want to do that again, alright?”

“Shawn, this is important. We’re all working with Henry constantly, watching how he treats you, and this changes how some of that looks.”

“How?” Shawn finally looks at Jules, right in the eyes. “How does this change anything? He’s the same person, Jules. He-he’s controlling, and-and expects way too much, and is disappointed in me. That’s not different now just because you know he went overboard with stuff when I was a kid.”

Lassiter lets out a deep breath. He’d really… really been hoping this wouldn’t be the case. “How overboard, Spencer?”

Shawn looks at Lassie, and then clicks his tongue and looks away again. “Not in that way, man. He never hit me or anything.”

“So what did he do?”

“Why is this an interrogation?” Shawn stands up, pulling away from Jules’s outstretched hand. “This is stuff for me, and my dad to hash out, okay? Just me and him.”

“Did your mom know about this stuff?” Gus asks. 

The mention of his mom seems to make Shawn shut down even more. “Now this is really over.” He walks away, and pauses for just one second to turn around and say, “Don’t- don’t go my dad about all this. I don’t want…”

“... Don’t want what, Shawn?” Jules’s voice is soft and careful.

Shawn doesn’t seem to be able to find the end of the thought. He just shakes his head and walks back out the door.

The three sit in silence for a minute. Jules has tears in her eyes. Gus looks almost shellshocked.

Lassiter stands up. “Alright, I’m officially taking lead on this case.” He looks down at his partner. “O’Hara, find out who in the precinct knew Henry well and still works there. We’ll interview anyone who he might’ve talked to his son about, see if we can dig up any leads there.”

“Whoa, Shawn just said he didn’t want his dad finding out we’re asking about all this, and we just learned he’s way worse than we thought,” Gus says, standing up too. “We can’t start poking around the precinct, because in case you forgot Lassie, he works there!”

“Part-time.”

“He’ll know something is up.”

“Please. I think I know how to run a discreet investigation, Guster.”

“Could you hide something like that from Shawn?”

“... Of course.”

“No, you couldn’t, and if you can’t hide it from Shawn it’s a safe bet that you can’t hide it from his dad.”

Jules stands up. “No, Carlton is right. None of us realized how these pieces fit together until we all talked about it with each other, right? If Shawn won’t… can’t, open up to us about it, the next best thing is getting as many witness statements as possible.”

“Why? It just feels like digging things up to dig them up at this point.”

“Because Henry is currently in charge of Spencer’s livelihood, Guster.”

“I know! He’s in charge of part of mine too!”

“Right.” Jules looks up at Lassiter. “And if we can prove to The Chief that Henry has a negative, unreliable bias against Shawn, we can lessen some of that control!”

“As much as I’d hate to see Spencer off the leash again, I’d hate to be helping enable an abuser even more,” Lassiter agrees. 

“Abuser is a strong word.” Gus doesn’t look like he feels that sentence is 100% true. “He wasn’t all bad a lot of the time. I mean, he loosened up on the comic thing when we were older.”

“We know he cares, Gus,” Jules assures. “But, caring doesn’t mean he didn’t do something wrong. Really, really wrong.”

Gus swallows, and then nods. “I know.”

—-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

They collect a good few statements over the next week.

One statement claims that Shawn would play poker with some of the officers when Henry brought him to the station- why Henry was bringing a seven year old to an active police station and then not keeping an eye on him was something that went unanswered- and that Henry was obviously upset when he discovered this. Another statement corroborated the story, and added that he caught sight of Henry taking all the money Shawn made from the games and shoving it into the police donation box.

One statement was from an elderly file sorter, who claimed that Shawn was sometimes sent down to grab files for his dad and used to complain to her that henry would only buy Shawn cop car toys, and no others. When she’d asked Shawn if he wanted to be a cop when he grew up, Shawn had reportedly said quote, “Something about not getting a choice.” Other statements claimed, when this was brought up, that Shawn seemed very excited by the idea of being a cop when he grew up- until his arrest.

One statement, given by someone Lassiter vaguely remembers being rookies with back in the day, lends more credibility to the recollections of the elderly woman. The statement claimed that when the rookie would go on ride-alongs with Henry or work under him, Henry would almost always complain about Shawn. Everything from Shawn having an interest that didn’t relate to being a cop, to Shawn ‘acting like a child’ when he would have been under twelve according to the timeline, to Shawn ‘not even trying’ during a specific incident where Henry claimed Shawn forged his signature to go on a field trip and quote “hesitated for a second with his pen or something- I remember it was something really minor, and Henry couldn’t stand it. I thought it was weird that he was teaching his son how to forge signatures and then expecting the kid to never use the skill, but it wasn’t really my place to say.”

By the end of the week, Jules is steaming and Shawn hasn’t come around the precinct at all. Gus keeps dropping by, digging up old journals of his own to use as cross-references when possible. Shawn is quiet with Jules at home, like he’s waiting for something big to happen and he’s worried he could trigger it early.

It makes Jules more upset at Henry, because now her boyfriend’s emotional immaturity seems a lot less like a natural childish nature and a lot more like having genuinely never been taught how to handle anything.

No, according to the information she and Lassiter have gathered, it looks like all Henry taught Shawn was that winning is everything, being the best is non-negotiable, and Shawn was born to be a cop and anything that didn’t align with that idea just… shouldn’t be there.

“Wow.” Lassiter tosses the latest statement onto his desk. “And I thought Henry didn’t discipline Spencer enough as a kid. Some of this stuff makes it sound like Spencer grew up in a boot camp.”

“He basically did,” Jules says bitterly, reading over one of Gus’s old notebooks. “Gus wasn’t even looking for evidence of it, and these journals are full of casual, offhand observations that look worse and worse the more we know. Listen to this one. ‘Today Shawn was in a bad mood, and when I asked him why he said his dad stole his mood ring after showing him to turn the box upside-down. I said that’s cheating, and Shawn said it can’t be if his dad said to do it.’ Who the hell steals a mood ring from a kid?”

“You’re getting caught on the small stuff again, O’Hara.”

“I know, I know. I just- now that we know some of the major things, even the small stuff is making me just unbelievably angry.”

“Yeah, it’s rough to read. At least you and I wanted to be cops.”

“Right? No wonder Shawn ended up a psychic detective, how do you just do something else after being raised so specifically like that? And no wonder he-he buys EasyBake Ovens and goofs off all the time, he had it so strict as a kid…”

“Mmmmm… let’s not excuse every antic, O’Hara. A lot fo it is still just him being a jackass.”

“I won’t get into this with you again, Carlton.”

“Good, I don’t want to get into it again either. … Heads up.”

Jules closes the notebook and tucks it into a desk drawer as swiftly and inconspicuously as possible, Lassie doing the same for his file. Henry walks past them, barley sparing a glance as he makes his way somewhere else.

Jules stares daggers at him so intensely that if dropped to the ground covered with enough puncture wounds to imitate Julias Caesar, Lassiter would think it was a mild scene all things considered.

—-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It’s three weeks since Jules found the notebook when Shawn rolls over in bed, puts his arm around, and mumbles “I have an eidetic memory.”

Jules puts her book down and looks at Shawn with furrowed brows. “What?”

Shawn sighs and sits up properly. “I have an eidetic memory,” he says again, “And… I don’t like looking back, because I remember everything perfectly. Which means I usually remember what I felt perfectly too, and it usually wasn’t great feelings.” He can’t look her in the eyes this time, either, but instead of the tense, protective body language of before, he’s holding a pillow close to his chest and slightly burying his face into it, almost sagging around it.

Jules starts to rub his back. She knows how hard this kind of… difficult emotional discussion, is for him. Now she even knows why- suspects why, really, because not all of it is proven in full, but still she thinks she can cout is as knowing. “Why didn’t you tell me about this before?”

“About the memory?”

“Yeah. That sounds… really difficult to deal with, Shawn. Does Gus know?”

“Yeah, he knows. I think other than my dad, and… and you, he’s the only person who knows.”

“Shawn…”

“I just, I just want you to know… that I’m not asking you to drop it for no reason,” Shawn says, “Or-or because I don’t feel like it’s important. I know it is, I do. I just…”

“Don’t want to relive a lot of it,” Jules says softly. “... Shawn, does this mean you remember everything perfectly? All the time?”

“Eh… fifty-fifty. The ADHD gets in the way sometimes.”

“... But when it doesn’t?”

“I just try not to think about a lot of it.” Shawn moves again, to look her in the eyes, He takes a deep breath, and he looks a little pained. This kind of thing is painful for him, he’s so unsure how to navigate it. “I have to keep moving forward, Jules. It’d be so… so easy to just get stuck, forever, in all the stuff stored in my head. And I’m really, really trying to, I mean that. It’s difficult, and I’m not… always great at it, but I’m trying.”

“And you’re worried we’ll set you back?”

“No! No, I… I don’t know.” Shawn lets Jules pull him close to her chest and begin running her hand through his hair. “My dad and I don’t solve stuff, Jules. We just… argue over it. I’m getting tired of it.”

“... I understand.” She kisses the top of his head. “But I don’t like him being in charge of you when you’re a grown man anymore.”

“You think I do? … But it’s making him a lot happier than he’s been in a long time.”

“You should be happy too, Shawn.”

“Hey. Hey, I am happy.” He looks up into her eyes. “Look at me right now. I’m being cradled like a sweet little baby seal by the most beautiful, badass woman in the entire world. Of course I’m happy.”

Jules laughs a little and contorts a bit to kiss him on the mouth. “I’m glad you told me that, Shawn. And I promise, I won’t ask you to relive anything else for me.”

“... But you’re not going to stop investigating my dad, are you?”

“Did you stop with mine?”

“... Fair enough.” Shawn lays his head back down, and soon enough Jules hears soft snoring from him and mumbled phrases in his sleep.

…

An eidetic memory. Perfect recall.

—-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When Jules goes over everything they have so far knowing Shawn has a perfect memory, it makes her angry to such a degree that she thinks it might kill her. Not literally, but it feels strong enough.

She has some of Shawn’s old report cards, some statements she got from former teachers via social media contact, and some copies of pages of one of Gus’s old journals laid out in front of her, and she sees a pattern.

Shawn didn’t do good in school. His report cards are less than average, and are packed with notes about how he doesn’t pay attention, doesn’t seem to absorb any information, and doesn’t remember anything he’s taught. The statements from the teachers describe Shawn as hyperactive, passionate about everything but his schoolwork, and having difficulty with staying observant in class.

Gus’s old journals are full of the same, but also the opposite. Shawn didn’t pay attention in school, but sometimes he could pull something the teacher said from his memory word for word without even trying, and then a few entries later Gus would mention Shawn failed a test on that exact subject. Shawn got beat up because he told a bully he memorized the pattern of answers used in the math tests, but his dad told the teacher and let Shawn know he was doing it. And most of all, Gus writes about how freaky his friend’s ability to look at people and figure them out is. How Shawn notices almost everything almost all the time, and usually makes some dramatic conclusion that isn’t right, but he still notices things and Gus can’t figure out how Shawn fingers things out.

Detective training, and an eidetic memory, and psychic visions. Jules is now pretty sure that Shawn covers up some of his deductions using his visions- he’s known enough impossible information that they can’t possibly all be deductions in disguise, but when she thinks back there’s a few times where it’s obvious in hindsight he used his abilities to cover up the fact that he’s an incredible, highly-trained detective.

Maybe she’s jumping to a conclusion, but she finds herself thinking ‘Because Henry made him hate that he can do it so well,’ as she pieces it all together.

Gus’s journals lend a lot of credit to that theory. Shawn is smart, and Gus knows it, but Shawn acts dumb sometimes and Gus doesn’t understand why, and then Gus mentions that it’s weird that Henry kept Shawn up all night before to stakeout their porch and now Shawn is tired during Little League and Henry tells him to get his head in the game because Henry is the coach.

Henry is the coach, Henry is the chaperone on the field trip, Henry is their Scout Master- he’s in charge of every part of Shawn’s life except for school. And Maddie is rarely brought up, even when Gus writes about spending all day or night or even weekend at the Spencer house. Jules hasn’t seen Shawn’s Mom since Yang almost blew her up, and she just figured that Maddie wanted to stay out of Santa Barbara after that, understandably. She’s getting a different feeling about Maddie staying away now. It seems a lack of presence was her main impression in Shawn’s life, or at least, Shawn’s life through the lens of Child Gus.

So it was basically just Henry. And her heart aches for the thought of someone being stuck in a bad marriage, basically raising a kid alone, and that kid being as hyper and curious and chaotic as Shawn. But the ache is smothered in the sense of righteous rage when she reads other entries about things like a girl throwing a ball at Shawn and missing, and an ostrich choking on the ball, and Henry dragging Shawn away. The entry goes on to say that Shawn told Gus that Henry didn’t believe him when he said he didn’t do it, even after then-superior officer Captain Connors came in and tried to vouch for Shawn.

Henry always assumed the worst. Assumes, the worst, still.

Shawn tries so hard, sometimes, with his dad, and Jules is starting to realize that Henry doesn’t put the same effort in. He tries some, she knows it, she’s seen it, but she also sees him constantly berate, put down, and insult Shawn, publicly and privately. 

Suddenly she remembers something from when Shawn went undercover on the dating show, something she’d been too upset over about Shawn being there at all to really take in in the moment.

“I’m sorry, this woman is way too good for my son. If it was me, I’d vote no.”

She doesn’t have Shawn’s memory, so without rewatching the clip she can’t be totally sure those are Henry’s exact words, but she’s certain that it’s the exact sentiment.

First of all, she takes a little offense to that for herself. But secondly and more strongly, she takes offense for Shawn. As she thinks about it she can remember the way Shawn tried to cover up the awkwardness in the clip, the way the girl on the show whispered “Is this a joke?” and the way it absolutely was not. The way Henry said that on TV, to Shawn’s face, with no hint of shame.

“O’Hara.” She looks up to see Lassiter holding a cup of coffee and a bagel for her. She takes them and Lassiter says, “There’s more steam coming out of your ears than there is that cup.”

“Sorry,” she sighs. “I just… I don’t know if I can control myself tomorrow when Henry comes back in. The more I dig into this, the more I want to just- go back in time and pick little Shawn up and take him somewhere better.”

“Well as much as we don’t like it, O’Hara, Spencer is who he is because he was raised the way he was raised.”

“I know. And I like, who Shawn is!”

“Inexplicably.”

“Carlton.”

“Mmm.”

“Anyway… I love Shawn, and who he is, all of him, but I still wish he could’ve been who he is without going through all of this. It’s not okay.”

“No. No, it’s not.” Lassiter sighs. “Look, O’Hara, put the case down for a while. At this point we’ve got enough to at least make The Chief doubt some of Henry’s intentions and judgements when it comes to Spencer and, well, that was the goal.”

“... Yeah. Yes, okay, I will… I will put this down for a few days.” Jules closes up the file and puts it back into her drawer. “Shawn is still less than happy I’m working on this, anyway. He understands why, but I know he wishes he didn’t.” He probably understands a lot of things he wishes he didn’t. Jules has had to grapple with the realization that she actually doesn’t know as much about how Shawn’s mind works as she thought she knew, and that it’s possible she’ll never know a lot of it. There’s more than just psychic visions to the mystery of his mind, and some of those mysteries are locked up with a key cast out of self-resentments and resentments of his dad.

God, she hopes she can keep up a poker face when Henry comes in.

—-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Her file is missing from her desk the next day, and so is Lassiter’s. They both know why.

They march over to Henry’s desk just as Gus comes in to collect a check, and all three end up standing over Henry as he openly and unashamedly reads through the Spencer Upbringing Case File. Gus takes a step back when he realizes that’s what’s happening, as does Lassiter.

But not because of Henry.

Jules looks murderous.

Henry purses his mouth in a frown and nods, raising up the file and then closing it and tossing it onto his desk in one smooth movement. “It’s comprehensive,” he says, like he’s grading a paper. “But it’s a bunch of biased bull.”

“Give them back.” Jule’s voice is ice-cold. 

Henry shrugs, moving his head side to side for a second, still frowning, and then says, “Nah.” He takes the files, and drops them in the trash. “I think you owe me an explanation for why the head detective and his partner are investigating the way I raised my son. Why’d Shawn put you up to this?”

“He didn’t.”

Henry scoffs. “Yeah, right.”

Jules slams one hand onto Henry’s desk. The whole bullpen goes quiet.

“I was helping Shawn get something from your house, and I found a notebook,” she says. 

“Oh, so, you found one of Shawn’s little projects where he exaggerated things to make himself look like a victim of the world?”

“I found the writings of a little kid who didn’t seem to realize at the time of writing that being locked in a hot car trunk and digging through broken glass for Easter Eggs wasn’t normal.”

Henry laughs, crossing his arms. “That’s what you have a problem with? It’s called training, detective. You went through it yourself.”

“When I was an adult, by my choice, and I sure as hell never had to dig through glass.”

“You’re really hung up on that.”

“Because it’s genuinely evil!”

Henry’s smug look melts into a scowl. “How dare you.”

“How dare I?! Do you understand how much all of this is still affecting Shawn, even right now?! He can barely talk about all of this!” “Oh, well, he sure seem capable of reminding me of it.”

“Because you did it! You’re the only other person in the entire world who understood what was done to him in the name of training because you did it!”

“Done to h- you’re overreacting, detective!”

“I, agree, what is going on out here?” Chief Vick hurries over to Henry’s desk from her own. “Detectives, there had better be a damn good reason-”

“There is, Chief.” Lassiter reaches into the trashcan and pulls out the files.

“Karen, Detective O’Hara has allowed her romantic entanglement with my son to-”

“Henry was borderline abusive during Shawn’s childhood,” Jules interrupts, facing her Chief. Chief Vick’s eyes widen and her mouth drops open, a disbelieving laugh escaping her even as she accepts the files and flips them open. “You understand what it is you’re alleging, O’Hara, and against who?”

“I do, Chief, and I think our case file speaks for itself.” All eyes are on them now. Jules doesn’t back down. “I’m well aware of my emotional ties to this case, but I assure you I’m not allowing it to cloud my judgment. If I was, I wouldn’t have used the word borderline to describe the conclusions I’ve come to.”

“Karen, this is ridiculous.”

But Chief Vick is focused on the files in her hands. Her eyes flick up to Henry. “Is it?” She looks over to Gus, who’s been watching with the quiet tension of a prey animal waiting to make a run for it. “Mister Guster, can you genuinely testify to the validity and accuracy of the claims in these files?”

“Oh, um, well, most of those are from my own journals.” Gus’s eyes flick between Henry and Jules. “I’d say that’s even more reliable than just plain memory.”

“It certainly is.” Chief Vick turns her eyes back to the file. “Henry, I think after I’m done going through these we’re going to have a chat about some of your current responsibilities and extent of authority over consultants.”

“Oh, come on, Karen!” Henry looks around at the entire precinct staring, and judging. “This is completely unfounded, and-and blown way out of propor-!”

Henry doesn’t finish the sentence because Juliet O’Hara punches him in the nose.

There’s gasps from everyone in the room. Jules’s fist is bloodied. Henry’s nose went CRUNCH! when her fist made contact.For a long moment it’s like the whole room has collectively stopped breathing. 

“I don’t make unfounded accusations, Henry,” Jules breathes. “Especially not when I have been building a case for over a month, and have watched Shawn completely close off whenever I asked him about this.”

Henry holds his nose, looking at Jules with fear that Lassiter and Gus don’t think is nearly intense enough. “Juliet,” Henry pants, blood streaming out from between his fingers. “This is insane.”

“Quiet, Spencer.” Lassiter moves Jules a little farther away. Her fist is still raised. “I won’t tolerate you disrespecting my partner, especially not in the same way you do your son.”

“What?! You can’t believe all this too, Lassiter.”

“You know I’m not Shawn’s biggest fan, but if you think what O’Hara has done over the last month is anything less than the best damn investigation possible then I have to seriously reconsider some of our shared opinions of your son’s work.”

Gus glances at a box of tissues on Henry’s desk- and then subtly moves to knock them on the floor and kicks them away.

“Herny, I’m going to have to ask you to step away from the precinct for a few days while this gets handled. O’Hara, I’m going to need to speak with you in my office.”

Jules lowers her fist, and nods. She knows she can’t just punch Henry and get away with it scot-free, and she accepts that.

No-one moves to help Henry. Not a single soul. He grumbles as he makes his way past Gus to grab a different box of tissues.

“It’s like he just sucks the respect out of people,” Henry grumbles. 

CRACK!

No-one is more surprised than Gus when his fist slams into Henry’s jaw. Gus reels away immediately, shrinking and cradling his hand, as Henry goes down.

“Mister Guster!” Chief Vick moves forward to try and catch Henry.

“Uuuuh!” Guss whines, shaking his hand. “I-I mean, you don’t get to say that about Shawn! He asked us not to keep doing this! You gotta stop assuming the worst of him all the time!”

“When he earns it!” Henry barks out, then groans and spits. It’s mostly blood.

“You won’t let him earn it!” Jules is furious again. “How many killers does he have to catch for you to see that your son is an amazing man?!”

“It’s not about catching killers,” Henry says, spitting again. “It’s about growing up.”

“Says the grown man who can’t even tell his son ‘I love you’.”

“He doesn’t say it either.”

“That’s not helping your case, Spencer.” Lassiter has his eyes on Jules and Gus. “And considering I’m the only one on said case who hasn’t taken a shot at you yet, I’d say keep your mouth shut.”

“Oh, what do you know.” Henry spits a third time. The Chief looks about ready to punch him herself. “Father-son relationships are complicated, especially when the father wants what’s best for the son and the son just wants to throw everything away and get himself killed!”

“You wanted him to be a cop, Spencer, you didn’t exactly put him on a path to a peaceful and easy life.”

“I put him on the right path, and he never appreciated it, and that is what your case file should say!”

“You know what, Spencer?” Lassiter takes a step closer to the bleeding man. “I’ve put up with a lot of crap from both you and your son over the years, and you two are a lot more similar than you think. But one thing I can say that Shawn has over you is that he doesn’t mean it when he says stupid crap like that.”

“He looks up to you, you ass,” Jules adds. “And he is willing to put aside all of the things you say and do to him to have a good relationship with you. Do you understand how incredible that is? That you don’t even have to work to have him in your life? That he comes to you no matter how many times you tear into him for it?”

“He comes to me because he never listens when he needs to.” Henry’s face is starting to become very purple as the bruises set in. “I don’t know what he’s been telling you, but he needs, my help.”

“Exactly! And he feels like you’re reliable enough to give it to him, and you do! So why do you treat that as though it’s a fault? Do you have any idea what I would have given as a kid, and even now, to be able to just-just go up to my dad and say ‘I need help,’ and have him be there to help me? That means the world!”

“Not to Shawn.” Henry looks pained beyond just the broken nose and possible broken jaw. “The kid is too focused on himself.”

“You don’t know your son at all, then.” Jules turns and walks with The Chief to her office.

Gus shakes his head, grabs the check out of Henry’s paperwork pile, checks that it’s signed, and leaves. 

“Oh, really? It’s up to me to take him to the hospital?” Lassiter looks around and then huffs. “Alright, Spencer. Don’t bleed on my seats, or my dashboard, or anything but yourself.”

“I’m not a bad father,” Henry says, still holding his nose. “I care about my son.”

“Yeah, and somehow Shawn knows that even though you act the way you do.” Lassie buckles Henry in for him so that the nose remains pinched. “But here’s the thing, Spencer. Your son is an arrogant, attention-hogging, impulsive, completely absurd person, and he didn’t just become like that out of a vacuum.”

“Yes he did. I did everything I could. I did everything right as much as possible.”

Lassiter sighs as he gets into the driver’s seat. “You seriously think that? You’d be okay with your grandkid being raised that way?”

“If they had Shawn’s potential, yes.”

“... Dammit.” Lassiter turns to Henry, and punches him in the gut. Henry coughs, and then chokes on his own blood, and then coughs again.

“What the hell?!” Henry gets out between hacks.

“O’Hara would’ve done it. I feel like I owed it to her. … And honestly, Spencer, after compiling that damn case, I’ve been wanting to do it for myself anyway. I already knew you were an overbearing perfectionist with a control issue, but you wishing your son was more like that than he is is even worse.”

“Shawn’s no perfectionist,” Henry wheezes. 

“But he is overbearing with a control issue more often than not. Like I said inside, you two are a lot more similar than you think, and frankly I blame you for the parts of Shawn that go past mild annoyance and into infuriating obstacle.”

“I’d never just hand a collar over to save someone’s ego,” Henry coughs out.

“See, that’s where I wish Shawn wasn’t like you.”

“He’s handed you a collar twice.”

“What? He has not.”

And Henry must be a little delirious from the repeated blows, because Lassiter is pretty sure his next words of “See, this is why Shawn should’ve been head detective,” wouldn’t come out of him otherwise.

Lassiter grips the steering wheel tighter and makes a sharp turn into the hospital parking lot. “Well he’s not, and from the sound of things he never would’ve been anyway.”

“He could’ve been a perfect cop.”

“He’d have been miserable and you know it.”

“He’d be doing things right.”

“You’re hopeless.” Lassiter isn’t any gentler helping Henry out of the car than he was helping him in. “I’m not picking you back up when they’re done with you.”

“I’ll call Shawn.”

“Yeah, I’m sure you will.” And Shawn will come, and probably be mad on his dad’s behalf, and will definitely be mad at all three of the punchers, because he loves his dad enough to overlook years and years of mistreatment that most people would probably consider ground for cutting contact. “And Spencer? If you ever insult O’Hara’s work again, or say anything that gets her that angry, I will help her cover up your disappearance.”

“You don’t mean that,” Henry scoffs.

“Try me.” Lassiter gets back in his car. “And if I hear from her that you’re still badmouthing your son to his face, I’ll make you disappear myself.”

And then he drives away. 

And Henry walks into the hospital alone.

[bullet-prooflove]

For the nsfw alphabet, could you do b, o, s, u for Carlton Lassiter please?

Thank you so much for requesting for him, I’ve been looking for the chance to write more for him.

Baby:

Carlton calls you Bunny. You hate your actual first name ‘Bernice’ so everyone else just calls you by your last name Riley. For a while it wasn’t clear if Riley was your first name or last name so when he introduced you at crime scenes it was as Detective Riley Riley to get under your skin. The more he pushed on learning your real name the more, the more you refused to tell him and it became game. On stake outs he’s go through the long list of names he’d come up with and you’d veto each one.

The fact it’s a mystery drives Carlton absolutely crazy, he bribes HR and all he can find out is that it begins with the letter B.

“I’m calling you Bunny.” He tells you because you’re still refusing to give it up. “Detective Bunny Riley.”

“Go ahead.” You say, your lips curving up into a small smile because Bunny is still far better than Bernice.

It starts out as a way to rankle you but it quickly becomes affectionate.

When he brings it to bed he says it in that throaty affectionate tone of his.

“Oh Bunny,” He whispers as he clasps your jaw. “I’m going to ruin you tonight.”

In bed you call him by his first name and he loves the sound of it off your lips. Before you became a couple he was always Lassiter, using his first name really highlights the transition for him.

Overnight:

I think Carlton is very protective over you despite the fact you’re in the same line of work. He’ll cuddle up with you for a while but his mind will not allow him to fall asleep until he’s made sure all the doors and windows are locked and the alarm is on. Then he can sleep easy.

Submission:

I think Carlton can be quite dominant but he’s very loving with it. For him it’s about giving you pleasure as opposed to getting off himself. He’s very aware that it is his fault his first marriage failed and he’s endeavoured to learn from those mistakes. He wants you to have no doubts about he feels and part of that is the way he worships you through sex.

He gives you a lot of praise, always telling you how much he adores you, how good you feel around him, how he’s going to make you come.

I think he can get a little territorial sometimes especially when there’s young blood around, on those nights he’s leaving a mark on you to remind you both who you belong to. I can imagine him popping by your desk and gently fixing the collar on your blouse so he can see it. It gives him a little thrill.

You enjoy a little hair pulling and he loves the noise you make when he tugs your hair a little while he kisses your throat, whispering the filthiest things.

I defo think the cuffs have come into play more than once as well as his ties.

Sometimes Carlton needs some extra care and attention. It could be due to a bad case or running into his father in law either way those are the nights that you take care of him. He will never ask for it but you can read the mood. Those are the nights you bind his wrists to the bed and spend the night showing him exactly how loved he is.

He likes it when you get a little territorial, you always leave lipstick marks where no one else can see. Sometimes throughout the day he’ll undo the top few buttons of his shirt so he can run his fingers over them, it always gives him a little smile and a sense of belonging.

In my head he has a secret little photo kink. Never with his phone but he has an old polaroid camera. You’ve dressed up for him a few times and let him take pictures. He jacks off to them when your out of town.

Uniform:

You have a little uniform kink when it comes to him. That was the only good point to him being demoted.

Civil war attire. You as the fiery nurse and him as the injured general.

[pineapple-psychic]

i made a pjo/psych crossover

thanks to @autism-criminal for enabling me

Shawn Spencer, son of Hecate

henry and hecate hooked up once; thinking maddie finds out and its part of the reason for the divorce

this means shawn has real psychic powers!! yay!!

because hes a child of a titan, not a god, less monsters came after him so he was doing good until 18, when he ran away

him and gus looked out for each other :] bc of course henry cant see the monsters (and didnt know abt camp halfblood)

Burton 'Gus' Guster, son of Apollo

because pharmaceuticals and the god of medicine

absolutely HATES snakes. worse than dead bodies

i think itd be really funny to give him both the natural healing and the plagues powers because that would give him such a crisis

gus tries to go to college, but without the additional protection its more dangerous so he doesnt finish before asking shawn for help

shawn tells him abt this camp he found and whoo! shawngus in new york! (ik santa barbara is The City on Psych but listen theyre in pjo now)

Carlton Lassiter, son of Ares

this is mostly because of his obsession with guns, landmines, and the civil war

basically the only ares kid who gets along with athena kids. probably wishes he was one

and of course he HATES magic because it doesnt make sense so bam instant rivalry with shawn

part of the reason he doesnt get along with his mother is because of being lied to about his parentage, cause his stepdad is a dick and he wouldve been glad to know they werent related

Juliet O'Hara, daughter of Athena

pissed off at her parentage. she loves athena but she hates knowing that shes related to frank and not her mom

gets along great w lassie cause he may be an ares kid but hes not incredibly stupid like most of them

hates spiders of course

she joined the camp rather early in her life, because frank knew about the camp and she wanted to get away from him. ironic huh

Chief Karen Vick, child of Athena

they left the camp when they could to become a police officer up to chief, then returned to help Chiron out as a co-camp director because Mr. D does absolutely nothing

this way them and juliet are half siblings :D

Woodrow Strode, unknown

kinda just showed up one day

no one knows if hes a demigod or like a sighted mortal but he is just there

lives in the woods

hangs around the hades cabin a lot because death. also the Vibes

Busby 'Buzz' McNab, son of Demeter

can you imagine him tending to the gardens?? all 6'7 of him??? yes

also because buzz. bees. plants. demeter

i have basically no notes on him sorry

anyway im so wise. take my word as law (joking. do not do that)

[autism-criminal]

i never made an intro post 😨

so uh yeah here we go wheeeeeee

pfp by @starsandmindhkhk , isn’t it so amazing ???

My names are Deary , Cellach and Nuke ! My pronouns are it/he and im a boy .3 I’m aroace , ambiamorous , and I think I’m biromantic or just gay !

I am professionally diagnosed with AuADHD , anxiety , and depression . I’m also robotkin !

If you’d like me to tag or tw something , please tell me , whether that be through dms or an ask !

I like drawing ! ask me to draw your OC and I will do so in the span of 2 hours-2 days .

Seven means a lot . Idk how much , but imagine seven is the biggest number in the world

I am like . fuckinf obsessed with FNaF, but I do not support Scott Cawthon’s anti-LGBTQ2IA+ views .

my top interests in no particular order

FNaF

Jurassic Park

Psych

The Hunger Games

The Gray Man

Ocean’s 11 (2001)

LEGO MONKIE KID ANSKSLSSJJA

Seabiscuit !! I love the movie and I’m reading the book about him

I love being tagged in things . Pls don’t hesitate to tag me in things

I LOVE NICKNAMES AIODCUOAKDOX

I speak some Spanish , and in a few years I’m even planning on studying abroad .D

oc lore so far

Silva, Shroom Guy, Notata and Apparatus Phobos 2 3 ( I probably have more lore for him but I can’t find it )

Tang angst !! Feel free to send requests for Tangst cause I have no ideas

headcanons / my rant about him the angst fic part two villain au !! part two ! part three part fourrrr the prequel part two part two and a half part three ( the best part )

VILLAIN AU THIS IS MY MASTERPIECE

Im cool, but you know who’s even cooler ?

@jadegrimm @edenthebat @felixxscott ( rip ) @whymustibefunny @fagtron2000 @finleyforevermore @treasure-goblin @doomed-to-be-obsessed @noodleedoodleeoodle @swagmaxxer @robotwithanr @nightmaresneedtherapy @t0esniffer69 @kirvee @angstycaninez @f1nch3z @just-hyper-active @11somecat11 @j-snapdragon @julietheidiot @cultedpersonality @starfish-spencer @clawdiia @starrystims @shawnaise @iceeericeee @beepboopchibbo @angel-devil-star @idonoiyo @thathingwiththepotatoes @tipsylemonwater @enchanting-grom-fright @breadonthestreet @small-giggle @beewasdeleted @bossbabyfan2 @slime-the-awesomeguy @munurufu <333

my platonic valentine !! even in September but who cares @idonoiyo <3333333

also, MY DAD !!! @wheredidmybooksgo !!!!! The best dad ever !!!!

and my grandmama !! @the-squishy-scrimblo !!!

check them out .D

▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀

my tags are as follows :

#rewatching garbity farls - when i rewatch gravity falls

#PHOBOS LORE - lore or just art for the siller

#best dad ever - for when I’m talking with the best dad ever

#best grandmama ever - for when I’m talking with the best grandmama ever

#lassieposting - for when I post about Carlton Lassiter or find a post that I think is related to Carlton Lassiter

#words ain’t wordin - a tag I pre-made for when I go semi- or non-verbal

#Tangst - posts about Tangst , maybe writing or just rambles

Please don’t send donation asks , I’ll just assume it’s a scam

that’s it B]

[couchcandy]

Psych x Community ??

I love psych and i love community so this vague concept of them existing in the same universe has been floating around in my head. 

The key connecting factor being the references to Shawn/Britta’s similarly eclectic off-screen pasts. They're close in age so I'm like okay - it would totally be possible for them to have known eachother/dated/whatever at some point before. 

psych aired from 2006 - 2014; Shawn born 1977

community aired from 2009 -2014; Britta born 1980

(Take these two quotes just as an example but it's referenced casually throughout both shows)

Britta’s Dad: I mean, every time we get too close, you run off. We sent you a birthday card to your apartment in New York, and the next week you’re setting fire to a Jamba Juice in San Jose.

Britta: How long is that gonna stick with me?

Britta’s Mom: Until arson is legal, sweetie.

Gus: Shawn, you’ve had fifty-seven jobs since we left high school.

Shawn: Yes I have. And they were all fun. But this one takes the cake.

Gus: Oh yeah? Better than the acupuncture clinic?

Shawn: I didn’t realize experience was necessary.

Gus: What about the summer you spent driving the weiner mobile?

Shawn: I did that for the hot dogs.

I think they fit somewhere in the ballpark of each other's types, both sluts(affectionate) and it makes sense for them to have crossed paths at some point during Britta's “anhercists” days. 

So that establishes a link between the groups, but what would it be like if they interacted? Take the arbitrary scenario; Shawn and Gus have gotten themselves and by extension the SBPD into another whacky shenanigan somehow who cares how i'm not writing this

I imagine initially everyone in the study group has a more or less positive impression of Shawn because he's charming, (with the notable exception of…you got it! Jeff)

JEFF

In typical jeff fashion is immediately threatened by Shawn because he has to be the coolestmostlikeabledude™ in the room at all times while simultaneously has to act like he doesn't care so he's quietly seething and - hey what's this new dude doing here making all my friends laugh that's my job! i must now make it my life's mission to prove this guys a fraud and reclaim my status no matter how much a fool i make of myself in the process (a la: advanced documentary filmmaking)

BRITTA

Normal standard “hey old friend” situation, remember when we *insane thing involving multiple felonies and property destruction* haha anyway let me introduce you to my friends - 

ANNIE

immediate skepticism that Shawn is able to sidestep pretty quickly by being charming/flirty (NOT in a gross way *hisses at the jeffannie shippers*) Her reaction being like when the dean “swaps bodies with jeff” or after abed’s don draper impression.

ABED

Knows Shawn isn't really psychic but goes along with it/doesn’t point out that Shawn’s hyper observant because he's invested in watching the psychic/cop show formula play out. He would! and I would too!

(quote from 5x03 Basic Intergluteal Numismatics):

Abed Nadir: [Pretending to read the crime scenes as a psychic] I see a man... using a social disorder as a procedural device. Wait, wait, wait, I see another man. Mildly autistic super detectives everywhere.

TROY

Obligatory: “you’re wrinkling my brain right now” and just general fascination, awe, and wonderment. Asks Shawn to tell him his future

SHIRLEY

Immediate judgment on Shawn's practices not being christian enough for her standards, but easily swayed to liking him once he picks up on something and comments on her ex husband being an idiot to lose her or something

PEIRCE

Does his peirce thing and tries to seem impressive and fails, something level five laser lotus blah blah - u get it thats enough on him 

THE DEAN

Is facilitating the psych crew being there because it might bring in good press for greendale and he def does the hand on shoulder thing when he meets him you know the one - omg and totally is into Lassiter furrowed brows “im packing heat” Carlton, please. – lassie is Not Amused™ 

CHANG

This depends on what point in community canon this interaction takes place because season 1 chang would prob be normal(for him), but like season 5 Chang would do/say something so insane and so chang that i can't even come up with it

As for our psych guys, Gus points out how weird and fucked up and bizarre Greendale is meanwhile Shawn is LIVING for it - signs them up for the Dean’s PA announcements class, and “Gus! buddy! I hope you don't mind. I used your credit card to sign us up for The History of Ice Cream. Come on, it starts in 20 minutes ! :D” Gus: “Shawn! >:0”

Lassie would just nonstop point out all the health and safety violations- he doesn't want to be here- calls a lot of people hippies, generally grumpy demeanor and we love him for it.

Starburns terribly hits on Jules - gets rejected, proceeds to try and sell her drugs - gets arrested.

[cryptid-moose]

tattoo hcs for psych characters

Shawn: - Has a shitty, partially faded stick n poke tattoo of a pineapple on his ankle he did when he was 18 or 19 and couldn't afford to get a professional one done - He also has his mom's birthday tattooed on his wrist (professionally done this time), first line in roman numerals, the second in regular english numbers. Having that little reminder of his mom helps him during times when his mental health gets really bad. - Sometime after Henry gets shot Shawn considers getting his dads bday on his other wrist, idk if he went through with it or not tho.

Gus: - Gus doesn't have tattoos cause if his mother were to ever find out it would break her christian heart....and also she'd probably murder him lol /nsrs - He almost got a tattoo when he was drunk, but he bailed out at the last second. This actually happens quite often. - If he did end up getting a tattoo I'd like to imagine it'd be something space themed :)

Juliet: - Has this really cool floral design with lots of big flowers on the back of her shoulder - She wants to get DOZENS of other tattoos but currently hasn't found the time to schedule an appointment, especially cause most of the tattoos she wants to get done would take multiple, hours long sessions

Carlton: - He, unfortunately, committed the cardinal sin of getting your partner's name tattooed. He's got his ex-wife Victoria's name in a fancy font across his collarbone, probably another attempt to save his marriage -He's going to tattoo removal sessions tho thank god -His pain tolerance is usually higher than most people (he literally drank scalding hot coffee without screaming out in pain lmao), but getting a tattoo makes him so physically uncomfortable that i dont think he'd every get one again, despite how fun getting a tattoo of his favorite gun sounds lol.

Buzz: - Buzz canonically has had a Baha Men tattoo (removed), although this was according to Shawn so you can take that information with a grain of salt lol - Probably has a silly little lineart doodle of an alien somewhere - He and Francine have little matching tattoos of baby ducks <3, Buzz's has a cowboy hat and Francine's has a Wild Rag (the bandana thingies), the artstyle is very similar to the soft fluffy artstyle you see in older children's books, kinda like peter rabbit (but not quite peter rabbit) - Little banana wearing a cowboy hat 💪, Buzz likes cowboys and their hats - A couple doodles of his pets - He's like Kurtis Conner except not edgy (i dont actually think Kurtis is edgy thats just the only way i can describe the difference between them and their tattoos lmao)

Karen: - Has an Iris flower tattoo on her upper arm dedicated to her daughter - Probably has a book/movie quote somewhere - Other than that i don't really see her as being much of a tattoo person, she only ever gets tattoos if its something super meaningful to her

Woody: - Woody has a y2k style hello kitty tramp stamp, why? cause i think it would be funny as hell HSUADFVHUFE - He got it completely seriously too, was a gift from a "tattoo artist friend" (random guy he barely knows who bought a tattoo gun on amazon) - The linework is awful, Woody has never actually fully seen the tattoo, he just took the guy's word for it when he told woody it looked sick as hell. - Has shown it off to everyone at the sbpd, no one has the heart or guts to tell him how bad it looks, Lassiter almost did but Chief Vick stopped him - Has genuinely never occurred to him to ask someone to take a photo of it for him so he can properly see it

Henry: - You'd think he'd have a tattoo but surprisingly he doesn't yet - He would've gotten one already if not for the fact hes very indecisive about that stuff, the whole "drawing that will stay on your body for the rest of your life thing" is a lot of pressure for him - He just worries about getting something that he'll end up hating a few years down the line - Has considered getting a tattoo dedicated to Shawn on multiple occasions, but then Shawn pisses him off once more and he drops the idea again for another couple months lmao

[rotp-on-ao3]

Okay, My Psych Lovelies

I understand that this isn't Bury Me or my Untitled ABO Fic, however! I have a feeling this ficlet will tide you over until I can bang out Bury Me's ending. It’s set similar to my ABO fic, but might not be part of it. Keeping that vague as an option in case I wanna put this in.

(P.S. As a stylistic choice, anything italicised is either remembered dialogue or dialogue layered with the voices that once said them. Also, if you happen to spot any errant crocodiles [ > < ], let me know. I'm sure I got them all, but crocs, man[gender neutral].)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Title: How We Fucked Up So Bad/We Were Teens

Category: M/M

Fandom: Psych

Pairings: Brief Shawn/Gus, Pre Shassie

Characters: Shawn Spencer, Carlton "Lassie" Lassiter, Burton Guster (Mentioned), Henry Spencer (Mentioned), Unnamed Motel Owner (Mentioned)

Warnings: Mentions Of Underage Sex (The Shawn/Gus), References To The Shitty American Sex Education (Burn In Hell Reagans), Mentions (And Brief Statement) Of Abusive/Sexist Language

Summary: Shawn talks about the why Gus is painfully straight in a universe where everyone is inherently bisexual.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Did you know I'm the reason that Gus is straight?" Shawn asked as soon as Carlton stood next to him on the practically abandoned pier. "Of course, Gus would never say it was, but then again, he's a fantastic friend like that."

They stood in silence for a few beats before the omega turned around to gaze at the people instead of the water. "But then again, I'm sure the trauma of that day had blocked it from his memory.

The alpha stayed silent, assessing the younger man out of the corner of his eyes. He wondered where this was going.

"You know that male omegas basically function the same as women, right? So even guys that say they only go for women will occasionally go for a male omega. Not Gus." Shawn's hazel eyes took on a faraway look, as if living through the memory. "We were just clumsy teens, trying to figure shit out before we ended up having what could've been meaningless sex. Henry had to ruin that."

The alpha's head jerked around, so he could gaze at the omega in confusion. Shawn huffed a wry chuckle at the movement. "Hard to believe that kind of thing happened, right? Because we treat each other like brothers? That treatment only happened after that day."

Blue eyes softened. Guilt was faintly layered in the brunette's words. The older man finally spoke. "What happened?"

Shawn gave a faint humourless smile. "We were, oh, 16 or so. Knew next to nothing about sex, beyond using condoms, yay public education!"

It would be very easy to imagine the day alongside the retelling. To see it play out. A couple of teens on a childhood bed. A pack of condoms between them. Embarrassment colouring their cheeks. Easy to hear what was said that day in a more younger voice layering over the older voice.

"Come on, Gus! It doesn't have to mean much. Wouldn't you rather have a safe environment where we can laugh at each other? Instead of being laughed out of the backseat of your own car? It was a rather persuasive argument for a couple of teens. We fumbled, we laughed, and then found a rhythm. I'll spare the details." The imaging faded to just seeing a teen's door. One could imagine the various 'Keep Out' signs and warnings littering the space. One could suspect they went largely ignored. "Henry was supposed to have been working late. He wasn't even supposed to be home. Still don't know why he was home."

Watching in his mind's eye as Henry entered the house, pausing at the strange sounds, and silently creeping up the stairs, Carlton could almost understand much of Shawn's disdain for the man. "Really says a lot about him that he didn't clock what was going on before he barged in with his weapon drawn. Or maybe he did and just thought- I dunno."

"What the hell is going on here?!" (Faintly, carried on the wind.)

"Thankfully, Gus wasn't reckless and stalled any movement. That wouldn't have been a fun ER visit." Shawn gave another humourless smile. "Jesus, dad! Learn to fucking knock! Closed doors mean something to people, you know?! Gus was careful and I know any girl he gets with will be lucky to have someone so considerate."

And Carlton could almost see it clear as day: The teens, only partially visible over a younger Henry's shoulders, were using the blanket to preserve at least some modesty. "It was super weird to hear Gus' actual name after integrating the nickname into daily life."

"Burton. Get dressed and haul ass home." (Harsh, like a particularly icy breeze.)

"The first and only time Gus ever hesitated at what my dad had told him what to do. It took Henry barking out a 'Now!' to get him moving." It was small, but a fond smile found its way on the omega's lips. This was the easiest to imagine. A young Guster unsure of leaving his friend with a visibly upset father. The man snapping at the boy, getting him moving. A heartbroken smile on a teen Shawn's face as he watches his friend go.

"Henry yelled at me for hours. Flinging all sorts of slurs and epithets at me. Told me that I shouldn't rope Gus into any of my sick games like that and 'Thank fuck you were at least using protection so you couldn't tie the poor boy to you in some irreversible manner!' Eventually, he exhausted himself and I could go shower."Carlton could see the tears on the teen's face; expression set in cold fury, even as the tears kept rolling. He wouldn't rage after, no. He'd lock it away.

Carlton could see that, just watching as the omega recounted the event. The smouldering embers of a long banked rage, flared to life in those beautiful hazel eyes.

"Then came the start of my long list of ever changing careers. I left that night, once I was sure that Henry was well passed out." Shawn paused as he mulled over his words. "Don't know why he didn't alert every cop in the area after he was notified I wasn't in class."

From what Lassiter could suspect, it was a pride/ego/image reason. It would say to his colleagues, 'I can't keep my child in line.' It said, 'How can I do my job, if I can't keep my home life in order.'

Leaning bodily on the railing, hesitatingly, Carlton asked, "Where did you go?"

"Walked my bike a couple of blocks before riding off aimlessly. Ended up at an omega-run motel just north of town." Shawn lent his head back, gazing vacantly at the clear sky. (Seagulls swooped in and out of his line of sight, though he barely noticed them.) "Seems just yesterday, I was pleading with the owner to let me work menial jobs in exchange of lodging."

And the older man could see it. A young Shawn, duffle strapped across his body, walking his motorcycle a few streets down in the dead of night. Driving around, until exhaustion started to hit. Finding a motel and hoping they would look the other way, only to realise he didn't have the cash to stay.

"Please! I can work for lodging! Housekeeping, desk work! Just… please…" (Fervent pleading turning to a whispered beg.)

"The owner took mercy on me. Let me stay, as long as I completed all the busy work set for me. Stayed for a couple of weeks, until I felt okay enough to go back. The owner made sure that's what I really wanted." The barest of smiles flashed on the brunette's lips.

"You're running from something, honey. You sure you wanna go back?" (Concern was clear as the day they were having. Bright and confusing.)

"Told 'em, 'Can't run forever. Gotta face it at some point.' Turns out, I never had to face it." Shawn's face was worryingly blank, as if emotion fled from him. Carlton shuddered. "Went to class that day, late. Gus was asking if I really should be at school. Citing that I'd been recovering from a bad case of the flu. Not even a hint of what we'd done when I asked later. Just a 'What're you talking about? We never did anything that night. You were coming down with something and I didn't want to catch it.' And Henry…

I'm sure Henry knew something broke that day. We never had a normal relationship and from that point, we never would. He covered for me by telling the school that I had the flu, so he must've felt something." Blinking, Shawn put his head in his hands and scrubbed them down his face. His gaze locked onto the pier's planks. "Didn't even yell at me for up and leaving in the middle of the night. Just told me, 'I'm glad you felt well enough to go to school, kid.' It was something."

The two detectives stood in silence after that, unsure of what to say. The sea breeze gentle as it moved past them.

[notsaints]

#NOTSAINTS [ . . . ] a highly private + permanent low activity multimuse. content on this blog may be triggering, including but not limited to prominent themes of religion, death, violence, etc. do not interact if you are not 21+. muse list under cut. also can be found at drdebt, furters, backrows.

₀₁ CARRD. ₀₂ VISUALS. ₀₃ USFW. ₀₄ BOARDS.

television:

matthew kimble, the new adventures of old christine. mid 20s. therapist. bisexual.

reverend monsignor john michael pruitt (father paul), midnight mass. actually 80 but appears 40 ish. vampire. bisexual.

rupert giles, buffy the vampire slayer. mid 40s - early 50s. librarian, watcher. bisexual.

eve polastri, killing eve. early 40s. mi6 agent. lesbian.

carlton lassiter, psych. 48. head detective. closeted homosexual.

shawn spencer, psych. mid to late 30s. psychic detective. bisexual.

lucifer morningstar, lucifer. immortal. the devil. bisexual.

mazikeen smith, lucifer. immortal. a demon. bisexual.

eve, lucifer. immortal. the first woman. bisexual. no fc.

simon ferguson, over the top. washed up actor. early 50s. bisexual.

rupert mannion, ted lasso. mid 60s. bisexual but extremely in the closet.

film:

spencer rabbit, carter & june. crime boss. 44. homosexual.

shilo wallace, repo! the genetic opera. housebound daughter. 17.

jack daniels/agent whiskey, kingsman. secret agent. mid 40s. bisexual.

mr. (john) boddy, clue. merely a humble butler. early 30s. unknown.

julian marx, upgraded. renowned british artist faking his death for better sales. mid 60s. homosexual.

originals:

marcus white: serial stalker, professional chameleon, general pos. early 40s. hamish linklater fc.

michael west: bastard who copes with abandonment issues & heartbreak with drugs & alcohol. generally slutty. ceo by inheritance. vampire. permanently 28. anthony head fc, but use your imagination.

by request (send me a dm first):

russell edgington, true blood. vampire. 3000 years old. homosexual. canon divergent.

beverly keane, midnight mass.

johnny laguardia, times square. nyc radio show host. late 20s. bisexual.

larry gormley, blue money. irish cab driver with dreams of stardom. mid 30s.

for more information about each muse, please see my carrd. questions are welcome at any time about any character.

[wolpertingerprompts]

Prompt:

In an act of desperation and not really expecting it to actually work, Carlton summon demon!Shawn for help with a case.

Optional text:

Carlton can’t believe he’s even doing this, but he’s on 48 straight hours of no sleep and he can’t get the image of Mrs. Albermarle’s face out of his head as she’d pleaded with him to find her daughter’s killer.

[entomologistologist]

-suddenly remembers how i used to be deeply, deeply obsessed with carlton lassiter-

honestly i'm a little concerned i managed to forget about him during my recent reflections on characters i have been obsessed with. i want my memories of things that are/were important to me to last forever!! it's creepy that they WON'T last forever!! and imagine all the real, nonfictional people who once mattered to me but i will soon forget

[crazyk-imagine]

Psych Master List

Psych Gang

Another One // Ao3: Another One

Summary: Gus was busy. Shawn calls you to help him with a case. Long story short, you get thrown overboard and attempt to hurt Shawn. The psychic’s lucky your boyfriend was there to stop you. (P.S. Henry likes you more and Shawn’s a wee bit jealous)

Stealing is Not the Answer, but It Could Be // Ao3: Stealing is Not the Answer, but It Could Be

Summary: Shawn likes to point out unimportant facts. You have to stop him before he does something stupid. Gus is the smartest out of the two and decides it’s time to agree with you. It’s never a dull moment with those two. 

Shawn Spencer

The Call // Ao3: The Call

Summary: Shawn and Gus are in jail... again. No one’s surprised, except for when the station called for someone to come bail them out and pick them up. They were pretty surprised to see their old friend.

The Pants // Ao3: The Pants

Summary: You’re the newest detective at the SBPD. You might be an old friend of Shawn and Gus’s, but you moved away when you were all kids. A lot has changed, you all grew up so much neither Shawn nor Gus recognized you... but not so much Shawn, he’s still the same as he was when you three were kids.

The Coffee is Not the Murder Weapon // Ao3: The Coffee is Not the Murder Weapon

Summary: Shawn knows what happened and rushes to save you. Only, Lassie won’t hurry up when our favorite Psychic tells him to step on it, followed by Gus saying the same thing. You work at the place the coffee shop where the manager was murdered and happened to work with the murderer. Thankfully they arrive before anything could happen. 

The New Friend... before the Freakout // Ao3: The New Friend... before the Freakout

Summary: You know someone in the SBPD precinct. Shawn wants to know more about you. 

Technology is Not Our Friend // Ao3: Technology is Not Our Friend

Summary: Shawn points out the obvious and you want to strangle him.

Carlton Lassiter

The Ocean plus Shawn equals Chaos // Ao3: The Ocean plus Shawn equals Chaos

Summary: Things are never easy when it comes to working with and/ or knowing the psychic detective. He gets a taste of your rath first hand, and he already thought he had since you, he, and Gus have known each since you were kids. Carlton is the only who tries to stop you from maiming the psychic (shocking I know) so you could get properly checked out at the hospital, not just for your health but to also give him peace of mind. 

[bullet-prooflove]

send me a made-up fic title and i'll tell you what i would write to go with it...

"Seasons Change"

Maybe about Lassiter? (because I love how you write him). 🥺🤍

Tagging: @elefrog25-blog  @ineedbrainbleach  @secretsquirrelinc  @kmc1989

It’s spring and you’ve been Carlton’s partner for almost six months by now. The two of you have fallen into an easy rhythm, you work well together but it bothers him a little that he barely knows a damn thing about you.

“You are far too closed off.” He tells you in the midst of a stake out. “We’ve been partners for months and I don’t even know your first name. I’ve had to resort to calling you Bunny.”

“You’re one to talk.” You retort as you take a sip from your coffee cup. “Everything I know about you is surface level.”

He pauses then because he thinks that can’t be right but then he thinks back through all of his own liaisons since the separation, how he avoids the personal questions, immerses himself in his work. It’s the only thing he allows himself to talk about because anything else leaves him feeling too vulnerable, too raw. He’s never thought of himself as warm and cuddly but it isn’t until now that he realises he comes off as cold.

“Not cold.” You correct him with the shrug of your shoulders. “Just not forthcoming.”

“I can be forthcoming.” He snaps back at you because honesty he’s feeling a little wounded. He had no idea until this very moment how much he’d shut down, his defensive he’s become. “It’s you who has the problem.”

“OK then let’s play a game.” You say, setting your reuseable coffee cup down on the dashboard before turning your entire attention towards him. His breath catches in his throat because those eyes, they get him everytime. “You get real with me and I’ll get real with you.”

He loosens his tie then because it’s about to get all real up in here. He peppers you with questions and you volley them back like a tennis player in a semifinals match.

He discovers you like watching the sunset on the beach after a tough case because it reminds you that there’s beauty in the world. You left LA because your ex husband told you he didn’t love you anymore. You had just stepped out of the shower, you didn’t even have a towel wrapped around you when he told you that he was leaving you. You have an odd fascination with lighthouses, you don’t know why but you’ve always liked them, it’s one of the reasons you moved to Santa Barbara.

“You moved here because of a lighthouse?” He questions you, because if that isn’t the most impulsive thing he’s ever heard, he doesn’t know what is.

“The day after it happened, I just got in my car and decided to take a drive. There was too much stuff going on and I needed to think. I ended up here, parked outside the lighthouse and in that moment I just knew it was going to be ok.” You tell him, the edges of your mouth tipping up into a small smile. “My life was falling apart and I don’t know, just being there, it gave me a sense of peace amongst all the chaos.”

“I could have done with somewhere like that.” He says, shaking his head as he leans back into his seat. “Those first few months of the separation were rough, I didn’t think I’d make it…”

The words slip out before he means them to and he realises the enormously of what he’s just revealed. He never thought of himself as suicidal, not really but there were nights when he sat in that crappy apartment cleaning his gun wondering what it would feel like to pull the trigger, if it would drown out all the anguish he felt, the noise in his head.

Your hand comes to rest on his and he stares down at it surprised.

“There were times back in LA, that I thought about just walking into the sea. I would imagine the water coming up to my hips, my chest, my neck, the current just taking me…”

“I’m glad you didn’t.” He says quietly, his fingers entwining with yours. “Seasons change, the winter doesn’t feel so bad once the spring sets in.”

If that isn’t a summary of the past six months of your life that you don’t know what is.

“Yea.” You say softly as your gaze meets his. “I can’t imagine what the summer will bring.”

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