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My mother doesn't hug me. she doesn't know what to do with me.
my father has the kind of anger all fathers do; loud and terrible. it lingers for your whole life.
you robbed me of my life. i could’ve been human, i could've been alive, but you took my heart and you murdered it. you made me into this.
the blood on my face didn't make me brave, it only made me hurt. i was full of rage and he didn't ask why. he didn't even notice.
i have a very childlike rage, a childlike loneliness.
You are allowed to grieve over the child you could've been.
#it always haunts me that the wishes his parent's friends had for him was that he wouldn't be put in the car at a young age#and still it happened and he was robbed of a childhood#he could not dream anything else but what his father has made him to#and isn't that a tragedy?#a murder of his present self#and a murder of what he could have been#done by the very hands that should have cared for him#jos verstappen#when i find you jos.#credits to @/lealu for the sophie kumpen quote!#max verstappen#formula 1#web weaving#web weave
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devastating to go into the tag for an obscure vampire movie I've been quietly obsessed with for years to find mostly gifsets of minor characters (played by big-name actors) and review blogs saying they didn't like it :(
@ everyone who made a post saying "I liked it :)" I am blowing you a kiss. everyone who made a lovely gifset or photoset of the cinematography I am tipping my hat. that one poster that said "bro did y'all just miss the Entire Message about class and race or???" I am shaking your hand with enthusiasm there was SUCH a message about class and race
anyway everybody should watch Night Teeth and revel in glitzy flashy modern vampires in LA with me
#finx rambles#night teeth#vampires#apparently the marketing heavily overemphasized megan fox (she has a bit role. she's in like one scene)#so that one's not on the fans#but I am sad about all those people fuming bc it didn't have a poly ending#girl this is hollywood? what did you expect?#invent it yourself? that is what fandom is for?? queer reads have always been about discarding endings and living in the liminal??#(side note I love queer readings of fairy tales. fairy tales class was so fun. god I need sleep or something my brain is on SUCH tangents.)#frustrated by that one post saying 'the vampire-slaying gang leader spends the day after a catastrophe befalls#trying to get his shift covered at work? unrealistic'#bro he's working class. he's poor. he's gotta put food on the table. do you think your job cares about your personal tragedy#this is in fact part of the Themes At Play wrt class. believe it or not.#sad also about those reviews that are like 'eh it was mid' but I've never needed critics to agree with me and I'm not about to start now#I did think the gifmakers would be on my side though#the lighting in this movie???#that whole opening sequence in the credits with the storytelling done through reflections in cars at night?#the color choices??? the lighting??!?!?!?!
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Artist: watermarked on post
#I’d take care of him so well please Jo give me a chance#he so boyfriend coded like that is a man that would not let you open a single car door or bag of chips yourself#togame is a big ole koala and needs to be held#togame jo#wind breaker satoru nii#not my image#credits to the artist
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the funniest thing about having to report fraud on my credit card today was the girl on the phone listing all my transactions to me to see if i recognized them and literally 100% of them were all media purchases liiiiike wow I really have 1 hobby and 1 hobby only don't I
#it was like#netflix? prime? criterion channel? disney+? youtube?#yep yep yep yep all me#cineplex? nintendo? local bookstore? kindle? patreon?#yep all me as well#also the awkward moment where i had to confirm i paid for tumblr this month lol like who does that#literally i think the only purchases she listed that werent me being a nerd about media consumption was my car insurance and phone bill#anywayz someone used my credit card to buy something that was 540 dollars on amazon today!!!!#locked that shit down#they bought a deep cut band saw that they were trying to send to a suburban house in whitby ontario#the way in which i can literally google street view the asshole's home who stole my shit because they added their address to my account...#i dont know how they got it but MAYBE this will force me to get a new computer since i know outdated ones are bad for getting scammed on#somebody was also selling all my 1 cent stupid steam trading cards with my steam account last night#i cant even use frikkin steam to play games right now yet i can still get scammed on there apparently argh. so many passwords to change#i wish they'd do away with that fuckass steam trading card system#like i don't even care about those at all but that's the second time that this has happened to me now#p
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bruh idek what i'm supposed to do at this point. like the only way i could physically make enough money to pay all of my bills including making a payment of $250 on my credit card (which would have me making payments for the next four years btw), my student loans, and my current rent, and be able to reasonably afford to eat i'd have to make like $2500 after tax, so basically 21/hr. i have no fucking clue how to make that much money
#i'm really hoping the extra sales/repair money from this current job is worth it#but it did piss me off that the manager is talking about cutting my hours back to 32 from 39 after my training is over#i'm gonna talk to him and tell him i was not signed on for part-time i was hired to do full time work#but even then just the baseline pay after taxes and health insurance is just barely enough for me to reasonably live and that's WITHOUT pay#paying my rent bc my parents are paying it for me rn :/#and its like its not just one bill it's like all of my main shit is so expensive#i can't get my car insruance down my car payment is 330 a month#and i cant get out of paying my student loans unless i want to tank my credit#i just feel so fucking stuck rn#i wouldnt even care about having ot have my nose to the grindstone if i could look forward to saving money to do fun things in the future b#but i'm literally so fucking far from that reality it's not even funny#literally the only reason i havent gone crazy and am still doing things every now and again is bc i've put myself in debt 😭
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the thing about getting a car tho when u dont have a car and also cant drive is ghat all the cars are a distance from you. That is difficult to get to without a car. Also. Very confusing legal stuff regarding whehter u can even get car insurance when u dont have a liscense
#But alas#My life will never change if i dont put effort into changing it#it also pisses me off to no end that u legally cant drive a car if u dont hvae insurance on it. Like bruh#its MY CAR why do YOU CARE if its insured. it should be called something else#so that it makes more sense that its legally mandatory#also also. no credit bc im 18 and have never.. had a credit card or anything of the sort so#idk how going about paying a car off monthly will go? but im mostly looking at ones i can actually pay for in full w the savings i have rn#but even w those i would prefer to pay it monthly over time. so that i dont just suddenly have only like 10% of all the money i have now#kind of scary
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@bylertruther's post has got me thinking about jonathan driving all the way into the city to lonnie's house to look for will. jonathan volunteered first to go find him, and then ignored hopper's explicit instructions to stay put ("stay here with your mom, she needs you"), went to school only to put up will's missing poster, and then skipped the rest of the day and willingly went back to a place where he'd have to face his abuser - the man who walked out on them, the man who left jonathan to work two jobs at sixteen just to make ends meet, the man who was supposed to protect their family but ended up being the person who they needed protection from - just on the off chance that will, his little brother who he loves more than anything, would be there. just because will might have needed his brother there too.
#rewatching 1x02 and every single one of jonathan's scenes reached through my screen n stabbed me in the chest#my baby boy checked the trunk of lonnie's car for his brother because he KNEW that if will was with that man he was not safe#the man that treated his own son's disappearance so nonchalantly and then came back for the funeral just bc of the fucking money#the man who rly had the audacity to say 'that boy was never very good at taking care of himself' even though will was TWELVE-#-and never should have had to take care of himself because he should have had a father who would love him and care for him#godddddd the byers brothers were fucking robbed of the childhood they deserved and it's all bc of that POS lonnie#jonathan does not get enough credit for going to lonnie's house tbh that took so much courage and love for his brother#brother of the fucking century everyone.#jonathan byers#will byers#best brothers !!#stranger things#rae.txt
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tumblr drama goes crazyyyyy
#nothings happened too recently but man people love to try and start shit back up with me and I just don't have the time or energy to care#like i have a job i go to almost every day#and my car just broke down. and i got my credit card stolen.#so i have other adult shit to worry about man!#i just can't be bothered anymore#if you see me on someones dni just assume that it's old shit at this point cause i haven't gotten myself into internet drama since like.. ll#last year I'd say. to be honest#shrug#shut the up soda
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Feeling so incredibly sad and hopeless and defeated these days and this time i can’t even blame it on being a teenager. I cant just “grow out of it”. It’s real now…
#and im not really sure what to do about it#i dont have anyone i can talk to that isnt also dealing with a lot#they say money doesn’t buy happiness but literally money would solve every problem i have#broken computer? money would fix that#credit card debt from my mom? money#student loan debt? money#the cap on my tooth that is loose? money#a place to live? money#proper care for the migraines i get? money#clothes that fit? money#access to space where i can take care of my body? money#no jobs near me? money for a car and gas and insurance#im real tired
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I miss my echo so fucking much whenever I get "this day x time ago" I have to like. Stop myself from crying. Especially the interior shots god it was beautiful
#i need a car and this is what the bad credit dealer has that i can afford right now#piggy too but thats to be expected#i put so much fucking work into that car. not alot of money just alot of time and care#it speaks#it was beautiful#i cant wait till i pay off my spark so i can sell it and get an older prius or a baja maybe or something. just outright no payments#i hate my spark so much which i feel bad about bc like. its a good car#i abuse the hell out of it and knock on wood it gives me no trouble#but its completely uncustomizable its minorly uncomfortable and i cant fix it myself easily#its an car#i do need to go get the thermostat&ac fixed soon but Nushki's yearly vet stuff totalling to over $500 was. unexpected at best.#its a korean plant chevy so its not that bad. and i do like cruise control ALOT#i just miss my echo and i think it really never had a chance bc of how much i miss my echo
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A quick, sloppy little comic about Magritte
[OC's]
(image description under the cut)
[Image Description: It's a vertical comic strip of 14 panels arranged one under the other. The style is realistic, done with sketchy lines in a dark burgundy. It is not colored or shaded and there is no background. The comic features the interactions of a couple, Magritte (also called Margie) and Rafael (also called Raf). Magritte is a young woman, she is wearing a baggy armhole tank top with a tight fitting black top underneath, shorts and boots. She has a messy bun and a small messenger bag slung over her left shoulder. Rafael is her partner, wearing baggy pants, sneakers, fingerless gloves, V-neck t-shirt and an open button-up jacket with a hoodie and the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. His hair has short side with long top bangs and a short goatee.
(First panel): There's only Magritte visible from the waist up. Off screen, Raf says to someone else: “Magritte has our tickets.” Magritte is excited, looking straight forward. Her left hand in on her bag's strap, her right hand rummaging inside her bag. Magritte says: "Yeah! Even made sure to put them in my wallet so that I wouldn't- uh..."
(Second panel): She is beginning to look concerned, now with her face turned to her back, both left hand holding the lip to open the bag wider and her right hand still rummaging inside. Magritte says: "wouldn't forget.... Hang on, it's not on it's usual pocket. Haha." The last is a nervous laughter.
(Third panel): Magritte is kneeling on the ground. Rafael is standing to the side and behind her, only his feet visible. Magritte looks frantic, searching inside her bag. Her right arm is forearm deep digging in her bag. Magritte says: "It's definitely here-! It's the one thing I never forget 'cus I never take it out of my bag!" Rafael says, firmly: "Margie, when you took it out to put the tickets in, did you put the wallet back in the bag?" The letters are bolded, with the word "back" underlined for emphasis. Magritte says: "Give me some credit, there's no way I'm that stupid." The last three words are underlined for emphasis.
(Fourth panel): The scene has changed and now Magritte and Rafael are in a car. We see them from the passenger's side. Rafael is driving, looking straight ahead at the road. Magritte is hunched forward, hugging herself with the left hand. Her right hand is holding her head. She is looking out the passenger window, avoiding Raf.
(Fifth panel): Rafael turns slightly to look at Magritte.
(Sixth panel): The point of view is now a side profile view from the drivers side. Rafael has his left arm leaning on the open window, his right hand on the wheel. Magritte is hunched over facing the passenger window. Rafael says: "I'm not mad at you, if that's what you're worried about." Magritte says: "I can literally feel your disappointment."
(Seventh panel): Back to the passengers side, Rafael is looking at the road. Magritte is frustrated, no longer leaning her head against her right hand and instead her hand is palm upwards. Rafael says: "Well, yes. It is a disappointing situation, but-" Magritte interrupts: "You'd think I'd be able to do the one thing I was asked to do-! That I'd at least learn from the last billion times I forgot shit. Rafael says, quieter: “that's not where I was going with this...”
(Eighth panel): Magritte has her right hand holding her face with the palm on her cheek, left hand placing the tips of her fingers on her left temple and eye brows. She is frustrated and angry. Magritte says: "It's not like I've got anything more important rattling around in my brain. But, for some reason, if it's not my music, or like.... food or something, then it's just not a priority. I can't make myself care enough to make it a priority!"
(Ninth panel): She now has both hands in front of her, elbows bent, finger extended in a vague hand gesture as if there was something in front of her. Magritte says: "I'm an adult in my 20s and I still manage my responsibilities like a child. I'd be more dependable if I could just stop and think for a second, but I'd probably forget to even breathe if it weren't for the..."
(Tenth panel): Her frustrated expression turned to confusion. Her hands are still in the air in the same position as before. Magritte says:"... why are we parked?" Her noticing this stopped her rant.
(Eleventh panel): Magritte straightens up and faces the window entirely, left hand crossed over her body to lean on the car door. Rafael, off screen: "Margie." Magritte says: "Oh." Magritte's inner thoughts are written around her. "He stopped the car to scold me. No, not ‘scold’. Don't be a child about this. He's disappointed and just needs to make sure you understand so you can do better next ti-"
(Twelfth panel): Magritte is still looking out the window, but now with a shocked expression. Rafael reached with his right hand, and its now resting gently on her upper back. Rafael interrupts her inner monologue with "I need you to stop repeating the shit your parents and teachers and such yelled at you growing up. They were wrong, and nothing you just said makes sense."
(Thirteenth panel): The perspective switches back to the driver's side profile. Rafael says: "A poor memory isn't synonymous with poor priorities. Nor does it speak to a lack of maturity. The priority was there, we just have to build a better habit of checking things before we leave the apartment. Both of us. It's gonna take time. You afford everyone else a ton of patience, all the time. Can you please afford some for yourself? The situation sucks, we were both looking forward to this. But it's not the end of the world. We didn't forget things on purpose. So let's take it easy and try to end the day on a good note. Alright?" Magritte says: "Okay... c-can we um...."
(Fourteenth panel): Magritte has turned to face Rafael and her eyes are filled with tears and they're running down her cheeks. Rafael looks startled, lifting his arm off Magritte's back. Magritte says: "Can we get some ice cream on the way back?" Rafael says: "O-of course!" End of description.]
This description was written and provided by Hiwi.
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If I absolutely have to feel like shit could it at least be cause I let it happen again instead of cause I feel like I didn't do good enough
#beatin myself over the head w/ a stick like YOU. DO. NOT. NEED. HIS. APPROVAL.#he's just tryin to dig in any insecurity he can get his goddamn hands on it doesn't mean shit#like yea i know i'm ~ outta practice ~ cause that literally just means i'm not performin at a professional fucking level#you couldn't tell the difference if you stopped tRYIN TO SHOVE THINGS DOWN MY FUCKING THROAT FFS#i shoulda just walked out but it. doesn't even register til much later cause of all the praise n cause i'm probably dissociating like hell#like. are you fucking negging me#yes. yes he is#or some other adjacent tactic that rly shouldn't work on me anymore but here we are#it'd be funny if it wasn't so damn pathetic#which is smth i say a lot lately#i have no idea if i should like......try to give myself some credit for the few boundaries i did manage to hold#cause i mean i did......refuse to sleep anywhere near him w/o surveillance#especially not in the damn car cause i could end up literally anywhere#my mistake was compromisin on the sex stuff cause when i say no it becomes a negotiation n i always end up agreeing to smth#which woulda been fine if he didn't then go on to be a dick about that something#n also if it wasn't pretty fucked up to take it as a negotiation startin point#if i say i don't wanna have sex you know damn well i mean the entire thing no matter how many loopholes your definition has#hard limits aren't the fucking startin point for a compromise they're the bottom line#but he knows all that. he's not stupid he just doesn't care.#meanwhile i'm a fucking idiot for lettin him get away w/ it#i was doin so well. i mean sure i was losin my fucking mind but i wasn't even struggling not to go to him#why can't he just fucking leave me alone if i'm not even a good fuck anymore#spdrvent
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Babysitter - Part 1
Pairing: dad!Toji x babysitter!reader
Rating: Explicit – MINORS DO NOT INTERACT
Word Count: ~1.7k
cw: age gap (reader is 21, Toji is in his 30s), language, cheating, smut – PIV sex (doggy style), breeding kink, daddy kink
Summary: You're hired to babysit little Megumi for the summer, but you end up taking care of his father, Toji, as well.
Author’s Notes: This is repost from my old blog! I initially got this as a request and it became my first Toji fic ever, and certainly not my last lol. I'm posting this again because I actually wrote a Part 2, check it out! Thanks for reading! Divider credit to @/fic-dumpster.
You stand in front of a quaint house, checking your watch for the time. It’s been almost ten minutes now since you knocked, no answer. You gave the number from the listing a call, still nothing. Rolling your eyes, you take a seat on the steps leading to the door, waiting.
It’s the summer before you head back to university for your senior year. In an attempt to make some extra cash, you took a job as a babysitter through local ads in the paper. The first two clients were completely normal; this one is already leaving a bad taste in your mouth.
Fifteen minutes have passed. You try once more, pounding on the door with your fist as loud as you can. Heel turned, ready to leave, it suddenly swings open, revealing a muscular man with black hair, glaring at you. “What the fuck do you want?”
You step back, startled by his intimidating presence. Stuttering, you answer, “I’m the babysitter.”
He continues to stare at you, eyes following your body up and down, studying it. “Babysitter?”
Before you can explain any further, you hear a car rolling into the driveway. A woman in professional attire steps out quickly. “I’m so sorry I’m late!” She rushes towards you, holding her hand out to shake yours. “We spoke on the phone. I got stuck in traffic, I’m so sorry.”
You smile at her. “It’s okay.”
She faces the man, expression switching from cheery to dreary in an instant. “Toji, where is Megumi?”
He scratches his head. “Huh?”
“Megumi. Our child.”
He sighs. “Right. Uh, I’ll go get him.”
While he’s gone, the woman pulls you aside, speaking in a hushed voice. “That’s Toji, my husband and Megumi’s father. Unfortunately, he’s a complete deadbeat. That’s why I want to hire you. I started my new job and I need someone to take care of Megumi while I’m gone during the day.”
She swallows hard, blinking to fight off oncoming tears. “I have no one. I’ve been shunned by my family, my husband doesn’t give a shit about ours, and I’m all alone trying to give Megumi a good life. I know this is a lot to ask, but I’m desperate. This is just until I can save enough money to hire a full-time nanny.”
She grips onto your wrist with both her hands, begging for help. Truthfully, it’s a lot to unravel, more drama than you anticipated. But the anguish in her eyes tugs at your heartstrings. Plus, knowing it’s temporary doesn’t make it seem so difficult. How bad can it be? “Okay. I’ll do it.”
Relief washes over her. “Oh thank god. Thank you. Thank you. Let’s go inside and I can give you a tour.” She leads you through the entrance, removing her shoes as you follow her. “Oh, and one more thing.”
“Sure.”
“Toji is home most of the day, but he’s always couped up in his room, doing god knows what. Just leave a meal or two outside his door twice a day. That should be enough.”
“Huh?!”
She glances at you with a nervous smile on her face. “Yeah. I told you, he’s good for nothing.”
You don’t respond while you maneuver through the house, barely paying attention while she shows you around. It almost sounds like you’ll be babysitting two children…
~~~
The first two weeks of your new job go by smoothly. Megumi is an adorable baby; he’s almost two-years-old with hair as black as his father’s. While he never really smiles, he doesn’t cry either, expression usually stern, unless he needs a diaper change. He’s self-sufficient, always immersed by his own toys until it’s time to eat. Overall, he’s easy.
Toji, on the other hand, is another story.
You follow his wife’s instructions, leaving two meals outside his door, breakfast and lunch. And this asshole has the audacity to critique it! The bread wasn’t toasted enough. The eggs were too runny. There wasn’t enough seasoning on the meat. All this criticism while each plate is licked clean, not a crumb to spot. He’s never even uttered a simple thank you.
But what he lacks in social skills or personality, he makes up for in his physique. In between meals, he works out in the living room lifting weights, doing push-ups, sit-ups, and pull-ups at the frame of the door. It lasts for over an hour, and by the end of it, he’s shirtless, dripping with sweat. You’ve done everything in your power to avoid staring but it doesn’t prevent your mind from conjuring all types of lewd thoughts about him. You’re ashamed to admit that he is physically attractive, only because everything else about him is utter trash. Still, it doesn’t hurt to look, right?
On the third week, there’s a shift in energy between you two. When he isn’t working out or going out to meet with his sketchy friends, he’s usually couped up in his bedroom, ignoring you and Megumi. This morning, he actually joins you in the kitchen. You stare blankly at him, stunned by his sudden appearance. Megumi is unfazed by his father as he tries to pull your wrist towards him to get a spoonful of mushed up peas.
When he catches you, Toji glares. “What?”
“Um, nothing. Just surprised to see you here.” You clear your throat, focusing back on the baby.
He rolls his eyes. “This is my house. I can do whatever I want.”
“Yes, of course. Sir.”
For some reason, this triggers him. He stands up abruptly, stepping to you, leaning his face towards yours. The scar on the corner of his lip twitches when he gives you a wicked grin. “That’s right. I’m in charge here.”
You flinch from him, scared, maybe even slightly aroused. He’s intense, that’s for sure. But part of you finds it exhilarating to be in his presence.
Megumi whines for more food, to which Toji grabs the utensil from your hands to start feeding him. “Damn kid, he’s hungry all the fucking time.”
You sit up in your seat, regaining your composure. “You shouldn’t curse in front of children.”
He faces you, chuckling. “Curse? Seriously? What are you, five?”
You cross your arms, answering, “I’m twenty-one.”
“Interesting.” There’s that naughty smirk again, as if he’s thinking something obscene in that twisted head of his. And while you should be turned off, you’re not. You squeeze your legs together, pussy throbbing between your thighs. And of course, he notices this. He must, because he leans forward, lips grazing your ear, whispering, “Come by my room whenever Megumi is taking his nap. That’s an order.”
~~~
This is bad. Very, very bad.
You're supposed to be better than this. Clearly, you aren’t, because you’re currently getting railed by your employer’s husband while his child sleeps peacefully in the next room.
“Fuck, this pussy is tight,” he groans, pumping his thick cock in and out of you. You’re bent over the edge of the bed, his hips smacking against your ass as he thrusts into you. He’s got a tight grip on your hips, nails digging into your flesh, pounding away at your greedy pussy, absolutely drenched with arousal and lube. Your face is sticky with perspiration, pillow soaked with sweat and drool. It’s a fucking mess, but it doesn’t matter, because all you can think about is Toji fucking you until you’re seeing stars. Until your head is empty and nothing but his fat cock is occupying your thoughts.
“God, you’re squeezing me so fucking hard, princess. You gonna come again?”
You nod erratically, reaching your fingers to your clit. He smacks it away, doing it himself, his thumb flicking against your swollen bud. “Fucking come on my cock then. Make it nice and creamy for me, got it?”
His cock is buried deep inside you, hitting your sweet spot over and over until you unravel, gushing around him once more. You’ve lost count on how many orgasms you’ve had in this short amount of time.
After your climax, he doesn’t pull out, fucking you even rougher. Your body is pliant around him, yielding to his every touch like putty. You’ve lost control of yourself, completely enraptured in the intense pleasure he surrounds you with.
He leans forward, chest pressed to your back, lips brushed to your ear. “I’m gonna knock you up. Give Megumi a little brother or sister. Would you like that?” He’s crazy. Completely unhinged. Absolutely fucking psycho.
“Fuck yes, I want that,” you moan. “Give it to me, daddy. Breed me.”
And apparently, so are you.
“Oh fuck yeah, take my fucking cum then,” he growls. The bed creaks violently below you, his backshots brutal and frantic now, cock desperate for release. “I’m gonna get you fucking pregnant. Make you mine.”
He shoots his hot load inside you, stuffing you full of his cum. He doesn’t stop until he’s fucked it deeper into your pussy, watching with that sexy look on his face as his creamy cum leaks out of your slit.
Lifting you up to lay comfortably on the bed, he rolls beside you, kissing you sloppily until Megumi’s whimpers blare through the baby monitor, indicating that he’s awake. Toji laughs, smacking your ass as you crawl over him to return to your real job.
~~~
You spend the remainder of your summer employed at the Fushiguro household until you have to go back to school. You and Toji continue to fuck each other silly every day that you’re working.
The day before you leave for college, you say your goodbyes to the family. Megumi’s mom, who remains blissfully unaware of your sins, hugs you tightly. “Thank you so much for all your help. I’ve finally saved enough money to afford a full-time nanny, so we’ll be fine.”
“It was my pleasure. I had a lot of fun. With Megumi,” you clarify, avoiding Toji’s gaze as he watches from the kitchen.
“Seriously. You’re a good person. I hope you know that.” She smiles, truly grateful. “And thank you for taking care of my good for nothing husband too.”
As the guilt of this dirty, filthy secret eats away at you, Toji stares at you from across the room, smirking.
#toji fushiguro#toji x reader#toji smut#toji x you#toji fushiguro smut#toji fushiguro x reader#jjk smut#jujutsu kaisen smut
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Both my cats had to go to the vet today and its going to cost me almost $300 for everything AND i just paid damn near $100 for my car at the shop which isnt bad by any means but i also just paid rent and have my car payment and student loan payment due by saturday and i dont get paid again until next thursday and im just like... fuck... you know????
#i have minimal groceries and have less than a half tank of gas too like just euthanize me already#i also have to pay my credit card bill but i think i can hold off until after i get paid???#idk idk im just... so fucking stressed#im not even thinking abt all the other bills coming up that are all in my name bc my roommate didnt want to mess with it#which i get bc she had lived at home before this#but its so stressful trying to get everything paid esp if she doesnt pay me before they are due#i took the whole day off work to take care of the vet stuff and the car stuff#so i think when i get home im going to day drink idc idc#*is stressed abt money* *plans to spend $10 on alcohol to get drunk instead of worrying abt money*#good plan
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P!LINK COD MWII MASTERLIST (3) (🌽)
MINORS DO NOT INTERACT. STRICTLY 18+. ALL MINORS WILL BE BLOCKED.
BEWARE: DARKER THEMES BELOW.
P!LINK MWII MASTERLIST (1)
P!LINK MWII MASTERLIST (2)
PHOTO CREDIT: @GLUTT_R ON 🐦/X
KÖNIG
being forcefully bred and impregnated by your kidnapper.
letting virgin!loser!könig hump your ass.
popular!reader finally taking nerd!könig's virginity.
petite!reader taking könig's cock for the first time.
being overstimulated by your best friend.
könig drugging his favourite cosplayer to have his way with them in their hotel room.
‘face down, ass up...” with könig.
breeding kink compilation with könig.
rapist!könig who can't hold himself back from having you inside of his car.
popular!reader sucking on nerd!könig's tip.
letting cbf!könig lose his virginity to you.
perv!könig who's absolutely obsessed with your titties.
thigh fucking with perv!könig.
SIMON ‘GHOST’ RILEY
letting older-boyfriend!simon take your ass.
letting older-boyfriend!simon play with and tease your slick pussy.
‘face down, ass up...” with mean!simon.
being fucked by toxic!simon inside of his car after a breakup.
kidnapped!reader developing stockholm syndrome for simon.
letting dealer!simon use your holes as compensation because you're unable to pay him.
how mean!simon puts you in your place.
stepbrother!simon uses your asshole for the first time.
pounded into by your stepbrother as punishment after stealing form his stash of weed.
size kink with simon riley.
JOHNNY ‘SOAP’ MACTAVISH
stepson!johnny using his sweet stepmom's soft cunt to lose his virginity.
overprotective!stepbro!soap showing his stepsister what it feels like to be fucked properly after being cheated on.
treating cbf!soap to a blowjob.
making out and riding toxic!soap mactavish.
satisfying perv!johnny's needs.
letting perv!johnny obsess over your holes.
throat trained by johnny.
rewarding gamer!soap for winning a round.
taking care of sub!soap.
sucking off sleazebag!soap.
KYLE ‘GAZ’ GARRICK
rough sex with toxic!gaz.
taking care of gaz by riding him.
“face down, ass up...” with gaz.
rapist!gaz finally re-enacting his darkest, sickest fantasies.
size kink with gaz garrick.
having sex with standing up with gaz.
being kidnapped by perverted!gaz, for him to record your rape and profit from it.
stepbro!gaz who intoxicates you for his own amusement.
encouraging gym-bro!gaz by bouncing on his lengthy dick.
getting off using gym-bro!gaz.
getting drunk and overstimulated with gaz.
CAPTAIN JOHN PRICE
stepdad!price raping his stepdaughter as punishment for losing their virginity.
letting your captain grind against your pussy as a form of release after a mission went wrong.
showing off to your stepfather after being trained by your stepbrothers.
kidnapper!price bullying his sweaty cock into your cunt for the first time.
letting your stepdad have a taste of your cunt.
prostitute!reader being throat fucked by price.
watching a movie with your husband.
creep!price with his favourite little sex worker.
gang bang with stepdad!price and your stepbrothers.
#orla speaks#tw: noncon#tw: rape#tw: dark themes#tw: dark content#könig#konig#konig x reader smut#konig x reader#mw2 ghost#call of duty ghost#ghost mwii#simon ghost riley x reader#simon ghost riley smut#simon ghost riley x you#soap mactavish#call of duty soap#john soap mactavish x reader#john soap mactavish#gaz garrick#cod gaz#gaz call of duty#gaz x reader#gaz smut#gaz x you#kyle garrick x reader#captain john price smut#captain john price#captain john price x reader#john price smut
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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
Plain-text version:
Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
#hlep#original#mental health#my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it#i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support#and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of#huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the#longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel#i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop
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