#caption was originally ‘you were always meant to be by my side’

[lovinglin]

reassurance

[use-your-telescope]

When Everything's Made to be Broken - Chapter 8: You're Just Business

Summary: Loki confronts Theo about her avoidance of the other Avengers.

Author's Notes: Fun story/trivia about this song: In an interview with the Grammy Museum, it was revealed that some of the phrases in this first verse resulted from producer Tony Berg’s mishearing of Jon Foreman’s original lyrics: “You come ‘round like a prison ship” was misheard as “pirate ship”, and “You got a fist for a lower lip” was misheard as “fish.”  Ultimately, the band decided to record the song with the mondegreens as the song’s final lyrics. I like to think that Theo was aware of this little tidbit and it led to part of why she chose this particular song.

Side note, would anyone be interested if I shared more of these goofy little trivia bits/non-spoiler reasons that certain songs appear at certain times (and maybe even captions that Theo might have posted with the covers)? I’d share them on tumblr as a little “behind the scenes” sort of thing. 

I’m posting this a day early because tomorrow is the last day of helping my parents move, which also means saying farewell to the house I grew up in; I’m sure I’ll be all up in my feelings and distracted, so rather than risk missing my (self-imposed) deadline, I’m doing something wild and posting early.

If you enjoy, please reblog!! I'm a lil' blog and reblogs really help me out <3

Content Warnings: None?

Word Count: 5,314

Read on AO3 | When Everything's Made to be Broken Masterlist

Song: I need you (to be wrong) - Switchfoot

You come 'round like a pirate ship You're just business You got a fish for a lower lip You're just business You're the parentless, nightmare kid You're just business You don't answer for any of this You're just business

The end of onboarding meant the return of lazy days off.

Other than the sound of a sleety-drizzle outside, it was probably quiet enough in the tower to hear a pin drop. Any reprieve from commotion could best be described as blissful, and not needing to peer around every corner so Theo didn’t run into the Avengers brought a different kind of relief. 

In a normal day, Natasha and Steve were always the first to emerge, since they liked early morning training sessions. With how they timed their workouts, Theo typically had to wake up at the ass-crack of dawn just to have 30 minutes to get into the kitchen, make herself a cup of coffee, and then slink back to her corner of the tower or get the hell out, which meant going down to the hospital to get ready for work.

Then again, when Theo got back to her suite at night and heard the commotion and the raucous laughter echoing from down the hall, something painful twisted in Theo’s chest, making her miss her life before the Avengers. It didn’t help that ever since she visited Mémère, Theo caught herself weighing whether it was worth trying to make friends with anyone while she was here.

She hadn’t planned on staying with the group after her favor was done, so on the one hand she didn’t want to grow attached, then ditch them. On the other hand, now that she couldn’t see her other friends, life had become little more than work, which was a lonely way to live. And though she loathed to admit it, Loki’s visits and Julie’s perspective on the Avengers made Theo wonder if her trepidation was truly warranted.

Then again, the Avengers didn’t know the full extent of her history or her powers. Given the reactions from people who knew her sob story, she didn’t anticipate they’d like her very much if they learned the truth. That meant every social interaction felt like it required Theo to put on a show; every word, every action was a calculated risk. She’d been doing it for so long that it felt like second nature, but it didn’t mean she liked it.  

However, none of her concerns around socializing mattered, at least for the time being. According to the side discussions before the most recent debrief,  all of the Avengers had plans for the weekend which took them away from New York, so she had the entire tower to herself. Wanda and Vision snuck out on a weekend getaway to Maine, Tony and Bruce were presenting at some science conference in Switzerland (and Peter tagged along), the super soldiers agreed to help with an event for the US military down in DC, Natasha and Yelena decided to visit Clint and his family out at their farm, Shuri happened to be in Oakland, and Thor had gone to New Asgard for something. Theo assumed that Loki had gone with him, since he was also an Asgardian prince and all. 

Regardless, Theo’s agenda for the day consisted of one thing: reading. A mountain of SHIELD reports loomed on Theo’s desk ever since she started, consisting of both recent and past missions that would hopefully provide the context she needed to offer her expertise on the shadow creatures. Even if she would have rather been marathoning Queer Eye or visiting Mémère, a rainy Saturday morning without anyone around seemed like just as good of a time as any to check the reports of her never-ending list of things to do. 

But even before she dug into the stack of reports, she needed coffee.

Theo padded through the halls of the tower, relishing the echo of her footsteps and the lack of chatter filling the air. Upon entering the kitchen, Theo decided that rather than work her way through the reports in her suite, she’d indulge in a change of scenery and set up shop at the kitchen island.

After starting the coffee, Theo brought out her laptop and the pile of reports, scattering them across the breakfast bar for easy review. She placed her headphones over her ears, cranked up her music, and became so absorbed in reading about the fallout of Ultron and the Sokovia Accords that she forgot about the coffee brewing… 

… She also failed to observe that she wasn’t the only one home. 

A coffee mug appeared next to her out of seemingly thin air, to which Theo yelped and practically flew out of her seat.

“What the – “ she tore her headphones off and whirled around to find Loki standing there, holding his own cup of coffee. “Jesus, Loki, creep around much?”

“I was in no way creeping. Your decision to wear headphones impeded your ability to hear me.” Loki’s tone remained cool and unaffected as he took a sip of his own coffee, leaning back against the counter. “Perhaps you might demonstrate some gratitude toward me; after all, I prepared your coffee for you.” 

“In my defense, I also didn’t realize I wasn’t the only one home – I thought you went back to New Asgard with Thor.” Theo protested, trying to ignore the searing heat that rose on her cheeks. She palmed the mug of coffee in one hand, glancing briefly at the swirls of steam rising from the ceramic cup.

“I’ve no reason to be in New Asgard at present.” He shrugged, before narrowing his eyes at Theo. “If you believed you were alone, why not use Stark’s audio system to listen to your music? It is not as if you would cause a disruption.” 

“It’s a habit,” Theo shrugged casually, allowing her focus to travel to her new teammate. Unlike Theo, whose heart still pounded in her chest from the surprise, Loki's casual posture and amused expression left him looking cool as a cucumber, because of course he would. “Besides, high quality headphones have better sound quality than any stereo system Tony Stark could build – it’s easier to hear the nuance and little details in the recordings.” 

Loki cocked a skeptical brow at her before sauntering over to the refrigerator. As he bent down to rummage through the contents, Theo took advantage of the opportunity to drink in the full sight of Loki in the mornings. 

Loki’s Saturday morning attire was more relaxed than she had ever seen from him. Black joggers slung low on his hips and followed the line of his slim form, while a gray t-shirt clung to his torso and hinted at the toned muscle beneath. He pulled his black curls back into a loose bun, but left one strand hanging down to frame his face, highlighting a jawline that cut like glass. 

For all the jokes Julie made, she wasn’t kidding about Loki’s attractiveness. But that was like saying the sky was blue - no one would question that a god was objectively attractive.

In comparison, he probably thought Theo looked a bit sloppy in her oversized sweatshirt and yoga pants, her own hair tossed up in what looked less like a bun and more like a rat’s nest…

Channeling her inner gremlin, as Max would say.

Loki turned around and caught Theo studying him. 

“Are you enjoying the view?” He smirked.

“I’ve never seen you in anything remotely casual before,” Theo said, mirroring his expression. “Looks good on you.”

Loki hummed, something devilish twitching on his lips to match the glint in his eye. “I should hope so.” 

Theo rolled her eyes. Of the many traits Loki held, humility did not seem to be high on the list. Then again, Theo knew that if she was that attractive, she wouldn’t be humble about it, so it wasn’t like she could hold that against him.

Instead of feeding Loki’s ego, Theo returned her attention to the Sokovia report. She knew herself well enough to know if she didn’t make substantial progress on the reports that day, she would never catch up.

However, Loki either did not get the hint that Theo wanted to be left to work or he chose to ignore it, positioning himself across the island from Theo. With each passing moment, Theo felt his burning stare intensify.

“Keep looking at me like that and I’ll hit you over the head with a chair.” Theo threatened, not even glancing up from her work.

“Darling, such a temper from you this morning.” Loki practically purred. “I would have expected gratitude - after all, I prepared your morning coffee for you.” 

Theo rolled her eyes, but couldn’t help the hint of a smile that quirked up. Of course the prince would make a big deal out of a small gesture. “Well, thank you for the coffee, your highness, now will you leave me alone to work?”

“How are you settling in?”

Ugh. 

He couldn’t have been that dense, right? He must have known Theo did not want to talk to him at that moment. No one became a renowned diplomat if they couldn’t understand basic social cues. 

“Fine,” Theo drawled, “Better if you leave me to read in peace.”

“You never choose to spend time in the common areas like this. Why today?”

A loaded question, delivered with a deceptively light tone, had Theo’s hair standing on the back of her neck. 

No, he wasn’t clueless or dense - Loki wanted something; information, probably.

Something unsettling lurched in Theo’s stomach.

“Because I thought I was going to be alone?” Irritation colored Theo’s response; she gritted her teeth, debating if she should try to divert the conversation or just piss him off so he’d leave her alone.

Her morals leaned towards the former, but her temper leaned towards the latter.

For the moment, she held her tongue.

“Perhaps this will surprise you, but you are allowed to venture into the common areas while others are around to spend your leisure time and… Do whatever it is that you are doing,” Loki casually gestured to the stack of papers scattered between them. “As you previously stated, you are not a princess to be locked away in a tower.”

“Currently, I’m reading reports,” Theo muttered, “And you’re proving to me exactly why I don’t do this in common areas – because you’re distracting me.” 

It took a significant amount of willpower not to slam her computer closed and retreat to her suite; after all, the heavily redacted report about Budapest that was next on her list looked like an enticing read.

“See, that brings me to my next question: why, when you have a beautiful Saturday morning to relax, are you spending your time reading reports and paperwork?” A playful, lighthearted tone graced Loki’s question, but Theo’s patience wore dangerously thin. “If you wish for quality reading material, you only need to ask. I’ve plenty of recommendations.”

“Okay, since apparently you refuse to get the hint, I’m just going to be blunt: I am trying to work. I don’t want to talk right now. Quite frankly, your impromptu interrogation is pissing me off. So for the love of all that is holy, can you leave me alone?” Theo huffed, outright glowering at Loki. 

“You may not be interested in speaking, but I’m certainly interested in answers to my question.” Loki arched a brow at Theo, sipping his coffee as if he could wait all day for a response.

“Because the world isn’t going to save itself and I have a lot of background knowledge to catch up on if I don’t want to fuck up one of these missions and get a bunch of people killed.” Theo’s frustration made its open debut, but amidst her ire she failed to hide the undercurrent of anxiety in her answer. 

Before Theo even finished, Loki’s demeanor shifted from taunting to serious - he must have recognized that he struck a nerve. 

Shit. 

She let her guard down and he latched onto it instantly… Careless mistakes like that could get her killed.

“Are you aware that it is not a requirement to memorize every piece of SHIELD’s history?” Loki leaned in so he could look at Theo over her laptop, face shifting to something unreadable before he continued. “Generally speaking, we have only enough knowledge to complete the individual mission. You need not push yourself to learn everything so that you might recall it at a moment’s notice.”

It wasn’t about knowing everything - it was about assessing the risks. Theo needed to know the history in order to understand the potential risks. If she was in an emergency department, she knew the environment. She knew the variables. She had control over her situation.

But in the field? Knowing anything was a laughable thought.

“It’s not about memorizing, it’s about learning what I got myself into,” Theo flatly replied, hoping to make up for her slip. “I know Fury is fond of leaving out important details in favor of creating a narrative, so I want to make sure I know what he hasn’t told me before I’m sent out into the line of fire.”

“And you believe reports are the way to learn such information?” Skepticism dripped from Loki’s question. 

“I didn’t say I liked it, but this,” Theo gestured to the mess of documents around her, refusing to let her nerves show once more, “is better than letting Fury trot me around like a prize horse or his little puppet.”

It was a half-truth; he didn’t need to know all the details, but perhaps she could spin it to take some of the pressure off.

“I do not believe you’re giving yourself enough credit.” Loki stepped around the island so he stood next to Theo, then shut her laptop so she would look him in the eye. He certainly accomplished the goal, but earned a frustrated groan from Theo in the process. “You’re an immensely sharp and powerful sorcerer – I can feel the magic pouring off you. You easily handle extreme physical duress during training, you effortlessly adapt to any social situation, and it has not escaped my attention that you’re extremely well-studied in a variety of areas.”

Sure, Loki saw Theo spar with Steve, and obviously they’d hung out a few times; they spoke at the party from the first night, and showed up to the soccer game and the bar show…  But a handful of interactions wouldn’t have been enough to draw those conclusions, right?  

Maybe it was a bluff, or an attempt at wooing her with his famed silver tongue so she would give him the information he wanted. 

It wouldn’t be the first time someone lied to her in hopes of gaining her trust. 

“First of all, I’m not sure whether I should be flattered or creeped out that you’ve been watching me so closely,” Theo retorted with a scowl. “Second of all, what’s your point?”

“If you are concerned about your ability to defend yourself on a mission, you need not fret.” Loki sounded cocky, almost arrogant – how would he know what they were up against? “You realize you are not the only one responsible for your safety in the field?”

“You really think that the others, who look at me like I’m a terror, give a shit about my safety?” “They do not believe you are a terror.” 

“Cool, tell that to my grandma when she has to deal with my dead body,” Theo muttered. She attempted to snatch her laptop from Loki, but he held firm.

Loki may have been nicknamed a silvertongue, but the only thing his tongue had done was piss Theo off. 

Enough was enough.

“ I don’t have time for this shit.” With a flick of her wrist, a swirl of shimmering runes encompassed the reports and her laptop, teleporting them back to her quarters. Theo snatched her coffee mug, then offered a final wave and a bratty sneer before transporting herself to her suite.

In the solitude of her suite, Theo let out a sigh.

So much for a peaceful Saturday morning.

I got a body, but I lost my mind I'm just business Placeholder with a bottom line I'm just business Please don't take this personally It's just business

Standing in the kitchen, Loki gaped at the empty seat before him and replayed the events which led to his current predicament.

In some ways, he could have foreseen such an outcome. Initial interactions with Theo had been far more successful than Loki anticipated, to the degree that he almost believed Theo might actually wish to befriend him. Thus, it was inevitable that he would ruin his progress in a truly spectacular manner.

In his defense, walking into the kitchen and finding Theo there had not been something he anticipated. The circumstances practically begged for Loki to engage; when else would he see Theo anywhere besides her workplace or mandatory Avengers engagements? 

Yet, after a handful of occasions spent casually making each other’s acquaintance, Loki expected something with a bit more banter, or at least something more lighthearted. Instead, she met his questions with barbed remarks and vicious glares, culminating in another disappearing act.

The Theo that Loki encountered in the kitchen was vastly different from the Theo he first met, or the one that he spent time with in the research library; that Theo seemed confident and self-assured, sharp-witted and formidable regardless of the circumstances. But when caught off-guard, she became aggressive and downright irascible, to the extent that Loki questioned whether or not it was the same woman who he’d spoken to before.

However, deep within Loki’s chest, something uncomfortable twisted. He recognized the behavior, mostly because he had once acted in such a manner;  if he was entirely honest with himself, he knew exactly what motivated such behavior:

Protecting oneself at all costs.

Seeing Theo in such a state brought to mind his mother’s gardens in Asgard. When flowers were cut and taken from the gardens, they eventually wilted and withered, unable to adapt to their new surroundings. Roses, one of his mother’s favorite flowers, eventually developed thorns all along the stem, which made cutting the blooms a much more challenging task; a defense mechanism that evolved over the course of millennia. 

Like the thorns that protected the roses, Theo’s hostility served as a defense mechanism, an instinct developed to protect herself from something which previously scarred her, something which might have caused her to wither and wilt until nothing more than a shadow of her former self.

In Theo’s behavior, Loki saw himself. There was once a time where he had been so guarded that the other Avengers called him a cactus because of his prickly, sullen demeanor. Though the moniker had become a relic, the instinct remained firmly ingrained upon Loki’s psyche.

Theo was by no means a cactus, but she certainly had some thorns. 

Loki sighed, smoothing calloused fingers over his hair. Ideally, he could remedy the situation with minimal lingering damage to the delicate kinship he struck with Theo; yet the manner in which he could achieve such a feat eluded him.

If he approached too soon, she would only recoil, particularly if she felt cornered. If he waited too long to speak to her, she might suspect his intentions stemmed from less than savory desires - exploitation or a means to an end.

After much dithering, Loki settled upon a plan: if he did not see Theo around lunch, he would knock on her door. If she failed to respond, he would try again at dinner time.

If he still had not heard anything, he would send her a message through his mobile, leaving the onus upon Theo - if she wished to interact she could, however he would not push further.

Any and all confidence Loki held in the plan dwindled when noon came and went with no sign of the silver shadow. Despite the aura of magic radiating from within, Loki’s knocks were met with silence, only dampening his spirits further.

To be on the receiving end of rejection brought a certain discomfort which Loki had not outright encountered in quite some time, and it remained at least as unpleasant as he remembered (if not moreso). Midgardians never outright rejected him - first, they feared him, but over time some came to lust after him. As for the Asgardians, they knew better than to disrespect a crown prince, even if his lineage brought disgrace upon the throne. The more he dwelled on the matter, the clearer it became that he could not remember the last time someone outright turned away from him in such a blatant manner.

Without any sign of Theo in the afternoon, or around the time when the others typically took their evening meal, Loki braced himself for the worst and made the trek down the corridor.

As he approached, the faint sound of music could be heard from inside Theo’s quarters, which combined with her aura confirmed she was present. After pausing for a moment to gather himself, Loki rapped his knuckles upon the door.

Much to his surprise, the music stopped. Footsteps grew louder as Theo approached the door. The noise ceased for a beat, then the lock clicked, and the door swung wide.

Theo stood before him, arms crossed and brows drawn tight as she scrutinized Loki.

“I don’t know if I should be impressed or annoyed by your stubbornness.” Theo skipped any formal greeting, leaning against the doorframe as she gave him a once-over. “Then again, I’m the one that answered the door, so maybe your strategy is effective, or I’m a glutton for punishment. Either way, are you here to continue badgering me about work, or is there something else you want?” 

Loki drew in a deep breath. 

“It seems I struck a nerve,” he observed. “For that, I apologize.”

“Is that all?” Theo eyed Loki warily, as if she knew other matters remained on his conscience.

Loki sighed; it seemed as good of a time as any to address what Midgardians often referred to as ‘the elephant in the room.’

“I noticed you’ve not yet made the acquaintance of the others.”

“I socialize with the other hospital staff,” Theo countered.

Loki scoffed. “I am referring to the other Avengers.”

“I know.” Theo answered as if she had no intention of continuing the conversation. Loki raised his eyebrows at her in a silent question; she rolled her eyes and sighed. “Look, I’m sure they’re fine, but I’m not really interested.”

“Dare I inquire as to why?”

“For one thing, the only reason they’re pretending to be interested in me is because Fury gave them the mission of convincing me to stay on as an Avenger.” Theo cocked an eyebrow at Loki as she slouched further into the doorframe. “So it’s not like they’re really trying to be my friend. And besides, most of them were more than quick to jump to conclusions about who, or what kind of person, I was.”

“If that is so, then why have you not shunned my company?” Loki challenged. “How do you know I am not making your acquaintance to win over the director?”

“I don’t,” she admitted, “but you don’t seem like the type of person to crave Nick Fury’s adoration, or like you’d let him make you his bitch. I suppose I could be wrong, though.” 

“Such rousing praise,” Loki drawled. “Truly, the utmost of faith you place upon me—“

“Okay, fine - you really want to know why I’m willing to talk to you?” Theo interrupted, silencing Loki in the process, “Because in that first meeting, you didn’t automatically assume I was the villain.” 

Something painful twisted in Loki’s stomach. Nowhere in the list of potential responses that Loki developed prior to asking the question was Theo’s answer, yet what she described was an experience he knew all too well. The memory of Barton’s initial reaction to Loki’s presence remained painfully vivid to the Asgardian, which only diminished Loki’s confidence in his argument. 

Still, Theo’s perceptions of the situation were not entirely true. “I was not the only Avenger who made no assumptions about your morality—” 

“Not out loud,” Theo agreed, “But you were the only one who didn’t look at me like I was some kind of terror. You actually looked at me as a person.”

If anyone could empathize with Theo’s experience, it would be Loki. Joining the Avengers, a group who he didn’t truly know or trust, and who didn’t know or trust him… For quite some time, Loki believed wholeheartedly that he made a terrible mistake. 

Months passed from when he first relented to Thor’s pleas to become an Avenger to when Loki partook in a movie night, and that only happened because Thor physically dragged Loki from his quarters. He lost count of the number of times he turned Maximoff down before finally relenting to her constant requests to spend time together. 

In the end, it took over a year for Loki to feel remotely comfortable simply existing in the common areas during the day, going on missions without his brother, or speaking to anyone that was not Thor. Even after so long, he still questioned whether the others valued his contributions to the team, or if they simply tolerated his presence.

“I will admit, the others are not always the most… open-minded, shall we say. Not in the beginning, at least.” Loki chose his words carefully, recognizing the delicate nature of the situation at hand. “However, I truly believe they have moved past the false assumptions, and I would highly recommend you use the opportunity to demonstrate that you are not the terror they assumed you to be.”

“And how do you know that they even want to get to know me?” Theo pressed, piercing blue eyes scrutinizing Loki’s every move.

“Because I was once in a similar position.” The answer slipped out before Loki could stop it. He carefully schooled the surprise from his features; meanwhile, Theo made no effort to hide her skepticism.

“I understand that you may not fully trust me yet – I’m the trickster god, I have a history of manipulating people. Quite frankly, it would be in your best interest not to trust me. But!” Loki admitted, then continued before Theo could get a word in edgewise: “You remind me quite a bit of myself, when I first became an Avenger. I believed the others assumed the worst in me. I held no trust in the others, and in turn they placed no trust in me. It remained as such for quite some time – too long, in hindsight. 

“The change in my relationship with my colleagues came when I finally relented to my brother and Maximoff’s incessant attempts to force me to socialize with the others. If it were not them, I would still remain hidden away in my quarters at all hours. 

“Honestly, at the time I desired nothing more than to kill them in a spectacular manner for their belligerent pestering and sickening optimism. But between you and I, it helped me far beyond simply becoming a part of the Avengers – it helped me move on from the past that used to define me.”

To be so genuinely forthcoming was a bold decision. Had it been anyone else, he would not have dared to reveal such information, particularly someone so new. However, Theo had a knack for drawing the unexpected from Loki, even if it often caught him by surprise. Additionally, the mystery surrounding Theo piqued his curiosity, which only grew with the reluctance to socialize with the others. 

Without taking a risk, there would be no reward.

Theo narrowed her eyes at the God of Mischief, chewing the inside of her cheek as she mulled over his words.

“I remind you of… you?” Distrust clung to every word, only amplified by the doubt written across her expression in big, bold letters.

“Well, yes,” Loki replied coyly. “but you are far more charming and engaging. When I first arrived, I was simply full of spite.” He chuckled, earning a hesitant smile at Theo as a faint hint of pink rose on her cheeks from his compliment. “Had there been no consequence, Stark would have gleefully made a spectacle of launching me off the top of the tower.”

Theo’s shoulders bounced as she chuckled at Loki’s remarks. A sense of relief washed over Loki - perhaps he hadn’t made a mess of things after all.

“The winter soldier, the scarlet witch, myself - at one point or another, we were enemies of various factions of the Avengers. Romanoff is a former black widow, as is Belova. If we can be accepted into the Avengers, I’ve no doubt that you can as well.” Loki assured her, his confidence building with every passing moment. “However, you must be willing to engage.”

Before Theo could roll her eyes and offer a snarky dismissal, Loki held up a finger to silence her.

“At least humor Maximoff once,” he bargained. “I’ve listened to her prattle on endlessly about her excitement at your addition to the Avengers ever since she learned the news, and if I have to endure any more of her moping because you’ve rejected her invitations to socialize, I very well might lose my mind.”

After far too long of a pause, Theo finally answered.

“Okay, fine. I will stop turning down the invites to hang out and I’ll try to ‘play nice’ with the others,” she relented, sounding none too pleased as she straightened up. “For the record, I never agreed to any of this. I am here reluctantly, at best.”

“Yes yes, the reluctant Avenger - you’re not the first one. I wrote the book on it.” Loki ribbed, earning a real laugh from Theo. “Now come, it is far too beautiful of a day to spend it reading such dreary reports. Why not spend your time on something you might enjoy?”

“You know it’s raining outside, right?” Theo pointed to a window behind her, where an onslaught of water undoubtedly pounded against the glass.

“Of course I do;” Loki lightly scoffed. “That’s why it is such a beautiful day - it is perfect for settling in with some literature and forgetting about the tomfoolery the rest of this dreadful realm subjects us to.”

Theo didn’t argue with him, but she continued to peer at him rather suspiciously. 

“You have worked non-stop ever since you started here. What is the phrase that you mortals love? All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy? I fear you might become dreadfully dull if you keep this up.”

“Good thing my name isn’t Jack.” Theo winked, her quick-wit making its blessed return. 

“All work and no play makes for a rather wretched existence.” Loki amended his statement, smirking at Theo. “What you ought to do is put those reports away, find a novel that you actually enjoy, and join me in the sitting room to indulge in some reading. We might even listen to some of your music over the speakers, since you seem to be averse to silence yet easily startled when you wear your headphones.”

“I don’t know, this Budapest report looks like a great mystery to crack.” Theo shrugged, though her tone no longer held any trace of the tension or animosity that had previously dominated her replies.

Loki rolled his eyes, though he couldn’t bite back a smile. 

“Okay,” Theo finally agreed, “let me put this stuff away, and then I’ll come join you.”

As she joined him in the corridor, Loki concluded that one thing was certain: he much preferred Theo’s banter to her thorns. 

I need you to be wrong  (All along wе both were wrong) I need you to be wrong  (All along wе both were wrong)

[twdmusicboxmystery]

Dead City 1x01: Old Acquaintances and 1x02: Who's There?

So, I didn't do a post about the first episode of Dead City last week. (Can I just point out that the abbreviation for Dead City is D.C.? As in, Beth's D.C. spoon?)

The pilot episode was fine, but it was setting up the story, and we didn't see a ton of symbolism or Beth callbacks in it. Episode 2 this week was a different story.

Here is just a little bit of discussion about ep 1:

@wdway:

I finished that Dead City a little while ago. It's the pilot episode, some interesting things but they're just laying the groundwork, trying to get the story started which is very much expected. I just want to mention two things .

One is about Herschel. We knew that this is supposed to be a few years after the take down of CW. I'm just questioning tptb thinking in choosing their young actors for whatever age they're supposed to be, they change so rapidly that it would make more sense to me to have kept the original Herschel because the new replacement is obviously a few years older and yet, I swear by the end of the sixth episode he'll look like he's ready to be married with children, haha.

Okay, maybe not quite that bad but I'm just looking at this young man thinking he is going to age up real quick. They've already basically said that they'll be other seasons, that this is just the first, so obviously Herschel will be aging rapidly and I don't know if it will match the timeline going forward.

First there was the all the empty chairs in s11 then we had the green empty chair in Fear. In dead City near the start of it we see Negan with a motorcycle on one side of him and this empty chair on the other. Coincidence I'm sure. That empty chair nor that motorcycle doesn't has anything to do with the plot of the episode, so I'm not giving anything away, but it's a visual that I suspect Gimple had something to do with it.

@galadrieljones

A character named Ginny?

They called Virginia “Ginny” in Fear, I think!

@wdway

Morgan, I believe called his wife Jenny, with a J, but still.

@galadrieljones

Yeah I always thought that Virginia/Ginny/Jenny was meant for Morgan. Like he was being haunted.

I am looking at the caption under Negan though in that picture. Who’s he talking to? Is there someone named Ginny in DC?

Also idk why they keep casting weirdly old characters in TWDU. It’s not typical for them and I’m wondering if maybe there was some new rule or by-law passed by SAG or something to do with child actors and they can’t cast anyone under the age of like 13, or they can but it’s a major pain so they’re just asking us to suspend our disbelief.

@wdway

You'll find out who Ginny is pretty quickly. I won't go into it, not that it would spoil anything, but I think we'll see more of her going forward. She doesn't appeared to have a big purpose, which tells me that her character must have a purpose going forward.

Discussion on Episode 2: Who's There?

@wdway

I enjoyed the episode. There are things they're holding back to lead us along, I hope this isn't too big of a spoiler, but we don't find out about Annie or the baby. I think we probably won't for a while.

@twdmusicboxmystery

Just finished watching DC. I actually really liked this episode (minus all the intestine-spillage). I thought there were quite a few Beth callbacks in it. My favorite line? Maggie spun some yarn about "Canada and a shipwreck." 😱

@wdway

When Maggie mentioned Canada, I immediately thought of Tales. That he was headed to Canada. Of course, the shipwrecked parts stood out because well you know...

You guys know how bad I am with names so just excuse me. The girl that was originally with Negan who is being watched over by the group (I guess Maggie's group) while Maggie and Negan are away, they brought her to what is the kids’ school and was introduced by saying that she was from Oceanside. I'm wondering where this group of people, this community that Maggie and Herschel have been with is located.

@twdmusicboxmystery

Yeah, I don't know. Obviously, she isn't gonna just stay put and wait for Negan, so it will be interesting to see what her storyline is. When she left in the night, she went over to a bike. That's all we saw, but still. Bicycle symbolism.

Negan told a story about a girl "holed up in a car." He said she was "just a kid." Sounds like she was tortured and killed by the Croat eventually, but still. Negan then talked about having "one shot" and "missing." He was talking about the bad guy, rather than the girl, but they were all related, and it felt like a Beth parallel to me.

Then there was the part when the Marshal went into that apartment. I got such heavy WHAWGO vibes. There was the picture of the two brothers.

They weren't twins, but they were situated spatially in the photo the same way Noah's twin brothers were, and the way Robert Patrick's character and his twin brother were. Finding the dead guy, one of the brothers, in there felt similar to finding Noah's brothers.

And then there was the rosary he laid over him. We did see one of those with Carol at the end of S6, but Beth wore the original around her wrist at Grady. Oh, and the Marshal covered him with a blanket, much like Bethyl did to the Rich Bitch walker, and like Daryl almost did for Len, before changing his mind.

Even Maggie and Negan being imprisoned in the bathroom jumped out at me. I've harped on bathrooms since S4 when Rick escaped the Claimer house through the bathroom, and the walker that came after Carl in the pudding house (the one he shot in the forehead in the EXACT place Beth was shot) came out of the bathroom.

I also thought of The Same Boat. That wasn't a bathroom per se, but it was filmed on the same set as Saw, which featured a gross bathroom, toilet and all, and had a man who was presumed dead suddenly stand up and reveal himself to be alive at the end.

That may be all I have for now. I didn't really take notes, so I'm doing this from memory.

Negan had some funny lines. I loved his "how about everyone just untwist their undies." They featured it on the after-the-episode part, so I heard it twice, and laughed both times.

I also thought the flashback between Maggie and Hershel was super interesting. Not sure where they're going with that, but I look forward to learning more.

What do you think the purpose was of Maggie not making it all the way across the chasm? That seemed too purposeful to not foreshadow something, but nothing really came of it here. Just had me wondering.

@wdway

It's hard to tell right now because they're just lying and foundation for the series, I did appreciate the description of the three (3) separate groups. I didn't take notes either, but I was so glad the showrunner/writer explained what was going on.

When Negan was talking about the girl in the car, I immediately thought of Beth. Not that I thought he was talking about Beth, but I felt that that was purposely put in to give a nod to us. I don't know that there will be any clues that would lead to anything about Beth in this spinoff, but I do think that they will sprinkle reminders throughout.

I have the same feelings as you did when I saw the bathroom, that it was a reminder of Same Boat.

That scene where Maggie was somewhat freezing up as the Walkers were coming at her and she was so hesitant to use the zip line, then got hung up. It did seem kind of purposeful and I was trying to wreck my brain to whether or not we had known she has a fear of heights, kind of like Carol in the caves in s10 with it being a reminder that Carol was claustrophobic, but I couldn't remember anything from Maggie's past. It might be something in recent years (in the show) that we will find out later about.

@twdmusicboxmystery:

I was getting some screenshots for it. That always reveals new things to me because I'm watching more closely, instead of casually. It's nothing super groundbreaking, but I saw some interesting things, and a few insights on what we've already discussed.

First, the thing where Maggie didn't make it across on the zip line. Rewatching that part, I realized that the physics reason for why that happened is because she hesitated. She was clearly frightened of the distance down, and didn't want to just go for it. Her foot literally slips off the box, so she doesn't get the same momentum Negan and the first lady did. That's why she didn't make it to the other side. I still think that's a foreshadow, tho. Maggie being hesitant rather than going for it, and something goes wrong or something bad happens because of it.

The scene with the marshal we compared to WHAWGO? Watching it a second time, I realized it doesn't explain why he went there or how he knew to go there. He went looking for a gun, but it was gone. All he found was the box the gun used to be in. But how would he know it was there?

I think it's obvious he had been there before and knew the man who's body he found. That's probably why he covered him up: because he knew him. I'm wondering now if he, the marshal, is the second brother in the pictures. If so, that means he left his brother behind at some point. Between that, covering him up, and laying the rosary over him, it's an even more potent parallel to Beth.

Also, in that scene, he sees the corpse of his brother first in a mirror. I didn't catch that at first. So, it's a mirror image and then he turns and goes into the brother's room. Just kind of interesting.

And then about the girl--Ginny right?--who was with Negan? Something is bothering her about the water barrel. It's at Maggie's community, and like 3 different times she stops and stares at it, including at the end just before she steals the bike to leave. No idea what it means, but the fact that it's a water thing caught my attention. That's all. ;D

What did everyone else think about DC ep 2?

[aro-comics]

Music (Part 2)

NOTE: This was originally uploaded in 2 parts (too long for instagram) but it was intended to be read as one, so I’ll be pasting the descriptions one after the other as well as putting a complete image description for the whole post after.

Part 2 - in which amatonormativity makes it near impossible to have things to fully relate to and enjoy like everyone else does. Personally, it didn’t really hit me that listening and singing along to songs about romance was something you COULD actually relate to. I thought it was a kind of melodrama that everyone just did because it was a social norm/code, not because people actually felt that way 😭 The song in the second last slide is Before I Cave In by Too Close To Touch :) Do y’all also love very messy breakup songs for the drama and the drama only??

Part 3  PART 2 CONTINUED - this one's a little more personal, haha. The songs are Wolves, Survive, and Architects, respectively, all by Rise Against. Sorry if rock/punk/post-hardcore isn't your cup of tea 😭 Listening to this kind of music was one of the first times I understood what it meant to relate 100% to a song. To sing every word and mean it, from the bottom of my heart. A lot of the music I liked growing up were about break-ups and romantic relationships gone wrong, but even if I enjoyed the melody, I knew deep down that I didn't fully understand what the song was about or was interpreting them in a different way than was intended. With songs like these though, messages about finding the strength to keep going, deciding to actually do something when you know things are wrong and taking charge of your own fate ... it’s way more relatable. I had a rough childhood, and lyrics like these remind me of what it took to keep going even when I wanted to give up on everything (not to be negative lol, I’m doing a lot better now 💚). Was there a song/artist that made you realize what it meant to relate to music fully (or is this just me)?

[Image Description:

Slide 1:  Title slide. “Music. II: Non-Romantic” In the background are drawings of headphones, stationary, a portable music player and a sheet titled ‘lyrics’. 

Slide 2: Text Slide. “Amatonormativity makes romance entrenched in our music.”

Slide 3: Slide shows an alternating series of small drawings and text. 

“Whether it’s a breakup,” (to the left, a drawing of two people having a fight) 

“A crush,” (a headshot of a brunette with a broken heart drawn on their shirt)

“Unrequited feelings,” (a drawing of a girl staring at another girl who doesn’t notice her)

Slide 4: Previous slide’s format continues onto this slide. 

“Falling in love,” (a drawing of hands holding a note. Inside is a stereotypical heart with arrow, inscribed with initials ‘H+J’. Bottom says ‘-luv u’)

“Jealousy,” (the person who was holding the note looking up, annoyed. In the foreground of the sketch the object of affections is leaning woefully into the arms of a girl, melodramaticallly saying ‘woe is me’)

“-it’s always about romance.” At the bottom left Celia stands talking to viewer, looking a bit dejected. 

Slide 5: Panel of Celia talking to the viewer but looking down. “As an aro, to be honest, it’s really alienating.”

Slide 6: Celia singing with her eyes scrunched shut, her fist raised in front of her as she pretends to be upset like the lyrics of the song. The background is a sharp goldenrod yellow to indicate the musical nature. 

In the background the lyrics are drawn in rough white brushstrokes: “Two hearts that beat in sync but they could never be”

Slide 7: Panel switches back to usual colour, and Celia seems to have snapped out of the moment. She says “- well that was … not relatable. At all.”

Bottom right corner: “But it’s also nice to sing along with things that you really believe in, relate to.”

Slide 8: Celia sitting on the ledge of an outdoor table. In the background are mountains and a forest. She is listening to music on a set of large red headphones. Caption at top reads “I guess that’s why I like rock music.” 

Slide 9: Text slide: “It’s not that I think pop, or other music genres aren’t socially aware. But I find that there are some great rock, punk, and post hardcore bands that sing about social issues, past traumas, healing, growth, and thriving.” 

Slide 10: Text slide: “I love singing along with them, acknowledging all of the unjust things which exist in this world, but still finding the beauty in life and the strength to not only survive but try and make things better.”

Slide 11: A musical slide with illustrated lyrics and a bright yellow background. Celia sings with a microphone in one hand, and her other hand raised in a stereotypical rock hand sign. 

Lyrics: “The smoke you ignored is a flame you can’t contain.”

Slide 12: A musical slide with illustrated lyrics and a bright yellow background. Split panel of Celia singing back to back. For the left side, she is signing more aggressively and seems to snarl. On the right, she stands up straighter and seems more hopeful. 

Lyrics: “Life for you has been less than kind/ -but how we survive is what makes us who we are.”

Slide 13: A musical slide with illustrated lyrics and a bright yellow background. Celia continues singing, smiling with her fist raised again. 

Lyrics: “Let’s decide to be the architects the masters of our fate”

Slide 14: Celia lying on her bed, listening to music on a set of headphones connected to her phone. Caption: “... it’s just so much more relatable than romance, I think.”]

[junicai]

Relationship with NCT 127

➣ Taeil ☾ taria 

taeil is the Sole Protector of aria’s sanity 

taeil loves his maknaes so much, but he literally looks at her like she put the stars in the sky 

the Proud Dad smile :’)

when aria first debuted, czennies thought that she was the same age as jungwoo - because she acted older than her age - but with taeil she lets her inner kid come out 

highkey dependent on his approval for things in relation to singing

“was, was that ok?” “perfect, ari.”  “ (O_O;)  - (◕‿◕)♡”

she will fight mark and donghyuck for his attention, and she will win

for a while, the two had shared a dorm room before they were rearranged, and taeil let her slip into his bed when she was feeling homesick 

the offer is still open, but aria takes him up on it less and less

taeil is NOT sad about that. absolutely not.

he’s vehemently against any and all diets she tries - saying that if she gets any smaller he’s going to be able to pick her up with one hand

que him dragging her out for ice-cream after a promotion, paying no mind to her protests

aria helps taeil with translating a lot of things into english during lives and interviews - so much to the point where he’s picked up a bit of an irish accent and the others never fail to clown him for it 

taeil still has the small braided bracelet that aria gave to the members on their first anniversary of nct (he keeps it in the drawer beside his bed)

aria is his self-professed happy virus. he told czennies in a vlive once that her smile makes him feel really happy and he wants to protect it to the best of his ability

aria always fixes his micpack before they go onstage if its crooked, because she comes out after him in the lineup

they have monthly movie nights and they alternate who chooses the movie / show (taeil normally goes for mystery or drama themed ones, while aria enjoys making them both sob miserably)

FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT.

aria and taeil singing “I See the Light” from tangled for the NCT Music channel, and the tears that were shed by both moonis and realtai alike. sm really popped off with the staging and the lighting of the whole video - between the smiles that were on both of the singers faces and the whole ambiance created, its a cinematic masterpiece 

no one was surprised when it hit 2 million views in a day, and a lot of solo stans were born from that video

➣ Johnny ☾ johria

indisputable siblings 

there is not a single czennie who ships these two romantically, and that’s because they’re just too wholesome 

johnny is one of the few members that aria calls “oppa”, mainly because of the age gap and sm wanted her to appear respectful, but also because he thinks she looks so cute

very chill, excellent vibes

their vlives are either chaotic messes or the closest thing to therapy since ice cubes 

the blanket on aria’s bed? that was a gift from johnny - she had been complaining to mark about how cold she always was anemia tings

czennies are begging for sm to allow aria to open up a solo instagram account, becuse they see the amount of pictures johnny takes of her

in the park? he’s making her pose in front of the flowers. backstage before a show? the lighting, c’mon.

big big bear hugs - the height difference make nctzens want to die 

185cm vs 158cm? p l e a s e she’s so tiny in comparison  (/ =ω=)/

when she gives him backhugs it looks like a little kitten trying to wrestle with the family dog 

play fighting about vernacular:

“ITS CALLED A SIDEWALK” “S I D E W A L K, ITS A FOOTPATH YOU BUFFOON”

very vocal about her wellbeing, and has asked fans before to remind her to take better care of herself and get to sleep sooner

aria, starting a vlive at 3am: hi hi~

the comments: NO GO TO BED

johnny helped her a lot when it came to the style change in choreography, as aria was used to soft, flowing movements and not the powerful, sleek style that most nct dances have 

consistently forgets the fact that she is not the fourteen year old he first met, and is, in fact, an adult now. “you’re a child” “im 18″ “...no”

is the person to get angry on her behalf when interviewers belittle or ignore her 

FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT. 

during a fansign, a fan asked aria who did she think was the most comforting when she was stressed (besides mark and donghyuck) and aria said johnny. “he’s so, constant? like nothing seems to knock him or throw him off, and that’s really comforting when i feel unsteady.”

johnny is now known as aria’s weighted blanket. 

that is all. 

➣ Taeyong ☾ ariyong

taeyong took one look at aria the first time she showed up for group practice and immediately adopted her (not literally, but he would if he could)

eomma meets highly protective older brother meets life coach type beat? 

so so soft for her its sickening 

says he doesn’t have favourites and will then spend an hour cooking for aria because she’s been in the studio for the whole day and he knows she hasn’t eaten yet

when aria was given a duet to do for the sm stages, she had to pick another member to do it with and her first choice was taeyong

she always has said that taeyong is one of the pillars keeping her upright and sane - without him she wasn’t sure if she would have been able to complete her training

because of all the schedules they share together, if aria isn’t rooming with mark then she’s definitely rooming with taeyong

whenever she does his makeup (more often than you’d think) she point blank refuses to cover his scar, even when he asks her to 

“please? i don’t like it.” *gasp* “how dare you.” 

sleepy aria! snuggling into taeyong’s shoulder when a schedule ran late! 

he gets uncomfy when the stylists put her in too revealing clothes, and has spoken to them on numerous occasions about dressing her in age-appropriate attire, no matter how “sexy” the concept might be 

he keeps little bags of sugar-dusted strawberry sweets in his bag incase she forgets to eat and feels faint after the last time (they used to be blueberry flavoured, but he heard donghyuck throwing out any and all “blueberry-contaminated” food one evening)

taeyong doesn’t tolerate hate towards aria, especially in person, so he always makes sure to sit down the line from her so that he can see when people skip intentionally her

FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT. 

taeyong had just been awarded the solo bedroom on the last night of the Mtopia series, and was staring off into the corner looking rather uncomfortable. aria, who was meant to be rooming with baekhyun looked over and saw his mouth curled downwards slightly. 

“baekhyun-oppa, is it ok if i room with taeyongie-oppa tonight? i ran out of my tablets, and he has some in his bag..” 

baekhyun looked down at her with a small smile and agreed, while on the video edited captions appeared with the words, “a cute maknae, asking to room with a younger member...”

➣ Yuta ☾ nakamiya

the president of realtai 

this man is absolutely, completely and irrevocably whipped for aria and she is not afraid to use that to her advantage

she beat him at arm wrestling because she pouted at him - she’s too powerful 

aria.exe stopped responding when yuta started to playfully flirt with her the first few times

*winks* “hu-wha-”

one of the most outwardly protective members of her, because he feels a sense of responsibility for the younger girl

he was one of the trainees she first befriended, aria’s korean not being good enough to hold a decent conversation, and yuta happy that there was another japanese trainee 

9 times out of 10, when the members are making their way through crowded areas like airports yuta is always behind or directly beside aria

during a fansign one of the fans asked why he did that, and he said that he needed to keep her in his line of sight or else he’d get anxious that she’s so small that she could get swallowed in the crowds 

yes aria hit him for the short comment 

yuta, 50% of the time: you’re not allowed date until you’re 35

yuta, the other 50% of the time: bro where’s your boyfriend

he complains that she isn’t as sweet as she was when she first joined, and that hyuck must have corrupted her (╬ Ò﹏Ó)

he let’s her braid his hair when its longer, them both sitting on a bed with yuta in front and aria kneeling behind him so she can reach 

he was the first person to take her home for the holidays, because ireland was too far to go back for a week over christmas 

“what do you mean you’ve never been to japan???” 

bitching about the other members in japanese? more likely than you’d think 

when aria turned legal in korea, yuta took her out drinking and made sure to post pictures of her with her flushed cheeks on his instagram story with the caption “aish, i told you to pace yourself....” “happy birthday riri”

FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT. 

you know that one clip of the sasaeng getting absolutely trashed by nct’s bodyguard and taeyong jumping 7 feet into the air? 

well taeyong wasn’t the only one startled; standing beside yuta, aria was closest to the wall of fans when the girl ran forward towards the members. aria jumped in fright, while yuta barely made a face (#unbothered). he simply wrapped an arm over her shoulders and pulled her around to the other side, tucking her underneath his arm.

tsundere!yuta

➣ Doyoung ☾ dori

*ahem* WHIPPED *ahem*

doyoung adores aria so much 

was he unsure about a girl being added to a group of boys? yes but it was moreso concern about how he was going to make sure she wasn’t accidentally trampled

they bonded over a night in the recording studio when he found her sitting on the floor with music sheets scattered around her 

a whole mentor when it comes to singing 

aria always turns to him after singing - especially when it wasn’t planned, like at a fansign - to see if she did a good job

doyoung has yet to tell her that she hasn’t but sue her, she appreciates the validation

the original mother and Will Not Let Taeyong Forget It

doyoung, dragging aria out of the studio: now listen here young lady-

kitten and bunny friends RISE

no seriously sm released merch of a kitten and bunny plushie and it sold out in a day

when aria had the accident that led to her two month hiatus, doyoung was the one who rode in the ambulance with her after refusing to let go of her hand 

“i’m sorry sir, only family are allowed in at the moment-” “we are her family” *nurse looks around the room at the 14 other boys sitting anxiously*

he is a weak, weak man he will crumple on any decision if she smiles and slash or whines at him even slightly 

carries band-aids and support strapping in his practice bag because he knows that she gets really bad blisters when she hasn’t practiced while wearing her heels in a while, and he makes her wrap her ankles for the first few sessions incase she falls 

FAN FAVOURITE MOMENTS.

NCT 127 Take a Friendship Test (Glamour - 2020)

“ahh, my first impression?” *laughs* “actually, we first met in a recording studio, at like. 3 o’clock in the morning? he stuck his head in the doorway and i was so tired that i thought i had died and an angel had come to save me...”  (*μ_μ) 

➣ Jaehyun ☾ jaria

you know how cheetahs in the zoo get emotionally support puppies?

this is the same type of vibe

very snuggly together? but only in specific scenarios, like when jaehyun is too tired to move after a movie night, he’ll just kinda engulf aria in a hug and make her sleep on the couch with him 

any back hug she gives him turns into a piggy back, its non-negotiable 

likes to randomly compliment her to see how red he can make her face go

did she have a crush on him when she first moved to korea? yes, but who didn’t

that faded really quickly though once she started into the group officially - now they are more like siblings

they don’t interact that much on camera? rip to the jaria shippers

but that doesn’t mean they aren’t close with each other its just that a lot of their interactions happen off-screen

naturally, jaehyun began to think of her as a younger sister over the years they performed together 

jaehyun will end anybody who lays a hand on aria 

a little bap bap if you will 

he asked her to take him ice-skating one day, and the entire time was spent with aria laughing her ass off as he ate the ice nearly fourteen times before getting the hang of it 

he takes her out for food when he notices that she’s been put back on a strict diet plan (aria thinks she’s good at hiding those pieces of paper, but she forgets that when she puts it on top of things, that other people are a lot taller than her and have a higher vantage point)

the prince and princess of nct? check 

head pats

he likes to pat her head and she’ll swat it away immediately until she gets tired and just lets him do his thing 

FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT.

jaehyun was wearing a flower crown placed carefully on his head as he bent down slightly to run his hands through the damp grass. a soft shutter sound went off, before he heard a hum coming from behind him. “jaehyun-ssi, could you take off the flowers? we can’t see your face clearly because of the shadow.”

jaehyun glanced backwards at aria’s retreating figure, being chased by donghyuck with hands still stained green from the grass she had shifted through to find the fallen flowers. she stopped and waved at him before resuming her run.

“i’d rather not, if that’s alright. i think it fits quite well with the theme.”

➣ Jungwoo ☾ ariwoo

oh my god someone please stop these two

once jungwoo taught aria about the power that aegyo holds for persuasion tactics against the older members of 127, they were unstoppable 

you should be afraid of them

100% have plotted someone’s murder before (and have succeeded, czennies always wondered where that last manager went after The Incident)

aggressively cute together - to the point where your teeth will rot 

jungwoo will intentionally flirt with aria just to fluster her because its “so easy to do”

not very physically affectionate, but jungwoo has no hesitation calling out “uri fighting haeyadwae!” to her when she looks like she needs a little encouragement 

jungwoo is the reason she wants to do a bachelors degree after finishing high school 

he used to help her with her maths assignments after school when she was struggling with managing her time 

they’re called the “aegyo duo” of the group, and there has yet to be an outright winner of the competitions to find the cutest member (its aria. jungwoo said it himself, its aria but we been knew)

they have an odd dynamic of looking like best friends the first second, evil masterminds the next and then siblings who want to murder each other but they make it work 

will and has flopped down on her while she was laying on the practice floor and then whined when she tried to get up 

he spilled the tea that aria gets super emotional and affectionate when she’s drunk 

cutest shit ever that made ariwoo shippers lose their absolute minds was the clip that got released in the behind the scenes filming of Kick It, where jungwoo was half asleep in the corner and aria just pops up out of nowhere to shove a folded jacket under his head and made sure to prop it in a way that he wouldn’t get a sore neck when he woke up

jungwoo is the reason she knows korean curse words (dont tell doyoung)

FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT. 

aria wobbled in her heels slightly as she stepped out of the van, trying to hold a blanket up to protect her legs while she slid off the seat onto the ground. jungwoo extended an arm around her waist, gripping the blanket in his other hand and carefully holding her to make sure she didn’t trip on the cobbled stone.

➣ Mark ☾ mari

1/2 of the best friend crew

honestly at the beginning, mark and aria weren’t very close, having only really seen each other in passing or with johnny 

but after being dropped into training together the two quickly became fast friends, and now they’re borderline inseparable 

you thought you knew pain? watch aria’s reaction to mark’s graduation from dream :)

mark’s the reason why aria felt confident enough to pitch some of her lyric ideas to the team, after staying up until 4am to help her make some edits so she was as confident as possible 

kinda just, rests his head on her shoulder? and wraps his arms around her waist when he’s tired 

mari being confused in foreigner: ??? 

aria said once in a vlive that she finds mark really comforting to be around - when she feels stressed or worried about something she’ll go to mark’s room and just sit on his bed for a while

aria is so close with his parents - “ahh, how’s my favourite child” “i’m doing great mom.” “no not you, how’s aria?” “wh-hu-MOM?” 

you’d swear sometimes mark is younger than her, considering the pout he puts on and how much he whines when they’re not on the same team together for promotions

mark big protecc boi but also little small cuddly boi 

they’re so soft for each other ( ╥ω╥ )

in one of the fancams for mark’s solo stage during superm, someone zoomed into aria singing along with him in the wings and dancing to herself with the Proudest Smile(tm)

he’s! so! proud! of! her! constantly! she could be walking and he’d be like “omg get it” 

when aria refuses to get up and make herself food (this happens way too often, she just gets into the groove of her work and doesn’t want to move) mark gets her to by threatening to do it himself 

consistently caught by czennies just standing behind her and holding her hand in crowded areas - airports, waiting rooms, etc. 

FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT. 

mark and aria were standing off to one side as the mc explained the rules of the game they were about to be playing. mark looked totally confused, and elbowed aria in her side before looking down and mouthing “what?” to her. aria opened her mouth, before closing it and looking down at the ground, muttering to herself, “결합... 結合..... le chéile.... le... le.. oh oh - combined! we have to put them together, markie.”

and thus, a new confusion meme was born

➣ Haechan ☾ arichan

the other half of the best friend crew

absolute heathens to be around when they are together 

donghyuck is the person aria is closest to, and someone she’d call her best friend (only when she was sure he wouldn’t hear her)

she calls him “the demon child i can’t get rid of” but will, and has definitely pouted when he ignored her for too long 

generally aria is a pretty soft spoken person, but not with hyuck around - he brings out all her chaos energy (please pray for the patience of dotae)

the pair have a little tradition of kissing the back of each others’ hands before going on stage for good luck. they can’t even remember how it started, but now its an unnegotiable pre-show ritual

he’s so clingy with her absolutely everywhere its painfully adorable  (ಥ﹏ಥ)

interviews? hyuck has a hand on her knee, or if she’s wearing a skirt he’s tucked his hand in between their chairs so she can hold it discreetly. in the dorms? full body tackle onto the couch, where he proceeds to lay on top of her completely. 

because of hyuck’s nickname being the sun, and aria always being around him, czennies gave her the nickname “moon” to go with him

fans thought that aria was older than hyuck for a good year and a half before she released her birthday on a vlive, because she’s normally the one tasked with reigning his chaotic energy in during promotions (that is, if she hasn’t already joined him)

but off-camera, aria is absolutely hyuck’s baby there is no disputing that. aria’s sad?he’s there with ice-cream and a blanket and a baseball bat.

the winnie the pooh character that is on aria’s bed was a gift from hyuck for her 17th birthday, after she made him watch seven episodes of the show on netflix with her one night 

yes he complained, but he slapped her hand away when she went to change it to something else 

a twitter thread of a czennie comparing their horoscopes together went viral when people realized that it was quite plausible that the pair were each others (platonic) soulmates 

after an incident involving blueberries, donghyuck took it upon himself to check the ingredients of every. single. food item in their dorm to make sure it was ok for her to eat 

hyuck clowns her for her irish accent, and aria curses him out in japanese

tldr: they cute or whatever 

FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT. 

donghyuck was doing a vlive in his bedroom, sitting and talking to czennies when aria opened the door to his room quietly. she didn’t say anything, just waved slightly with almost closed eyes before she crawled underneath his covers and tucked her plushie underneath her chin. hyuck didn’t even blink at it - so it must have been a regular occurrence.

[mayansmcsblog]

the prank war has began

sooooo i saw this gif and instantly got an idea but as i wrote it, the idea completely changed and somehow it turned into this.

there is a ton of swearing😂

credit to @thedevilsmoonshine​​ for the gif!

thanks to @withmyteeth​ for helping me with some ideas of what to add in.

this is the first time I've wrote anything in years and the first time I'm ever publishing my work. sorry in advance for any spelling mistakes

A persistent ringing was what woke you up at 2am for the 3rd time this week. You already knew who it was, let's face it who else would be calling at 2am other than him? Opening your eyes you rolled onto your back, staring at the ceiling debating if you should let it ring out or answer

What if he’s hurt? No, that would have happened during the day not in the middle of the night Maybe he just needed someone to talk to? That was the likely option.

 You and bishop always had a ‘vibe’ as some people said. You were friends for a few months before he introduced you to the mc, of course it was a shock at first but after a month it slowly became your life. All the parties? you were there. Club events? You were there.

Overtime you and bishop had gotten closer, he would come over to your place all the time, announced or not.

he would come over in the dead of the night when his mind got too loud ,When he needed someone to talk to ,When he simply wanted the company of a friend that did not judge him for the things he did for the mc. He would come over any opportunity he got.

You could swear he was at your place more than he was his own Most of the time he would spend a few weeks at yours, only going back to his to get clothes.

Over the course of the last 6 months you and him had gotten a lot closer, he spent the night a lot, his stuff is all over the place but you two aren't dating , you didn't have any type of label. Why? You couldn't be sure. Most people assumed you two were dating but they were wrong. You two did everything normal couples would yet- you had no label. you were never his girlfriend and he was never your boyfriend.

Taking a deep breath you reached to your bedside table and grabbed your phone but as you could pick it up, it stopped ringing.

That’s not a bad thing right? Maybe he didn’t want to wake you up. Before you could set it back down you reserved a text, scrolling down your notification panel you read it;

📲: Bishop 🖤

You up?

Two words. That’s it just two short words.

Should you ignore it? Yeah, that's probably the best option. Did you want to ignore it? No

Another ping brought you out of your thoughts

📲:Bishop🖤

The guys are being children and I could either use some help over here or a way out😂please tell me you're awake and not just reading this from your notifications and watching Netflix again.

he knows you too well. Being a night owl you normally go to sleep around 3am, maybe 2am if you have work the next day. Normally you would just ignore bishop till the next morning but somehow he always knew when you ignored him and when you were actually sleeping.

Taking a look at your notifications again you saw you had a lot for snapchat, a  few from Coco, a few from Angel along with one single snap from Gilly.

Looks like the trio is having fun.

Opening bishop’s texts you finally reply;

📱: I’m awake just debating on if I should open all the snaps I have from the trio and reply to a seemingly annoyed jefe.

Almost immediately you got a response

📲:Bishop🖤

Ha-ha very funny. Come and sort your boys out, they are messing with that shitty ass car again, trying to do something with the engine

📱: my boys? You're their president, you sort them out. What makes you think they listen to me🤧?

📲: Bishop🖤

They actually like you😂they will listen

📱: keep telling yourself that, they only listen to me when I’m getting them food

📲:Bishop🖤

That counts as listening

📱: whatever

Locking your phone you got up out of bed knowing there was a slim chance you would go back to bed till the early hours now that you were awake. 

Putting on a pair of shorts and a shirt you got your phone and went to the kitchen, deciding to get on a bottle of water and find some shitty Netflix show you wouldn’t even pay attention to

Grabbing a bottle from the fridge you heard your phone vibrate on the counter. Pulling down the notification panel once again you saw it was a text from Ez

📲; smart ass😂📚

Please come and get these children, I can't deal with them anymore

Okay something is seriously going on here.

Face timing Ez you set the phone back on the counter, moving towards the window to open it and let the cool air flow thru the room

Within seconds he accepted and his voice came over the speakers

"Ayyy y/n where you at? Come get the children. Me and bishop are going crazy over here" you could hear a hint of playfulness in his voice 

Picking up your phone you saw he was sitting on the steps outside the club, his phone in his hand angled so you could just see the side of his head while he was looking at something in the distance. 

"I'm at home like all of you should be by now, leave the children alone to play. Are they hurting anyone?" you said as  you headed towards the front room and sat on the sofa

"Not yet"

You could hear cursing being thrown around by numerous people in the background along with the clacking on metal and rock music in the distance.

"Yet?" You questioned

"Yeah, I mean other than themselves" he laughed

"Of course"

There was a few beats of silence before you heard Coco shouting

"Boy Scout! Who’s that eh? You got you another girl?" By his tone you could tell he was definitely high

"No it's y/n dumbass" he responded, turning the phone so you could see Coco walking towards him.

"Ohhh damn I thought you was about to get some man" by now Coco had took over the whole screen "heyyyy y/n what you doinnnnn"

"I’m about to hang up on your dumbass"

"No, no, no don’t do that" taking the phone off Ez he stood up "that’s not nice is it"

You could hear Ez asking where he was going with his phone and be replied with a simple "shhhh" as he walked back to where he originally came from

"Want to see something funny?" He said. You weren't sure if that meant he was going to show you Angel tied to a chair again or Gilly attempting a backflip.

Both are amusing but it's doubtful it would happen three times....

"Did you tie Angel to a chair again? What did I tell you about playing nice hmm?" You put on the most sarcastic voice you could

"Ha funny and no...We couldn't find and ropes"

That made you laugh way more than it should have because you knew that Bishop had hid them in the meeting room and under Ez's trailor after the last time they guys got drunk and thought it was a good idea to put rope all over the place like an obstacle course

"Coco you're gonna kill someone at this rate”

"Hush ight? Jesus be quite ino want em to know your here"

"Okay?" Putting yourself on mute you could hear Angels voice in the background along with Gillys and bishops

"Listen," Angel said , slapping something metallic, clearly as high as Coco was and seemingly having one of his 'genius idea' moments

"OI dumbass listen to meeeee" he said again

"What?" Gilly responded along with a sound of something metal hitting the ground "dammit Angel you made me loose the fucking 10mm socket again"

The camera was still pointed at Coco’s shoulder as he walked over

"Boys, boys, boys" damn he sounded like a child "what would you say if I told you I could get y/n  to being us food"

You audible groaned as he suggested that, there was no way you was going to get them food this late at night.

You heard both Gilly and Angel say "what" then "tell her to get McDonalds" or "let’s get subway" by they were quickly cut off

"Oi children! Stop it, it's  2:30 in the morning, leave her alone '' bishops' voice was closer than you expected. He was probably sitting in the garage with the others observing what they are doing and making sure they don’t kill each other

You couldn’t help but unmute yourself

"Sorry Obispo but the children need their food" your tone was playful, kind of, half of you was saying it just to annoy him, the other half was wanting to see his reaction

"Gimme that phone" within seconds Coco was gone from the screen and Bishop was in the frame 

"So this is why you haven't replied to me hmm?" You couldn’t tell if he was serious or playful

You hadn't missed his text? He never responded to you right?

"Hold that thought" you pulled down the notification panel and saw he did text you.

2:15

📲:Bishop🖤

I’m kicking these guys out in a few minutes

2:20

📲: Bishop🖤

I’m giving them 3 more minutes till I kick them out.

2:23

📲: Bishop🖤

Can I come over if it's not too late after these children leave? "

"Oh, sorry I was busy talking to Ez and then being stolen by Coco" 

"Nah you were just ignoring me wasn’t you?" He responded

"No totally not"

"Sure I totally believe you" he laughed

"I think Ez might want his phone back"

"Wow, nice to see you like speaking to me"

"Well then why don't you call me instead? At least smart ass wanted to talk to me, even if it was about the children of the mc"

The line went silent for a moment. All you could hear was the guys cursing about finding the 10m socket and the sound of bishop walking.

"Okay, I’ll be back in like 20 minutes" with that the line went dead, he didn’t even give you time to respond

 Wow he deadass hung up on me, how mature.

Maybe it was time you opened those snaps. What else did you have to do?

Opening snap chat you saw there was a purple bubble next to Coco, a red bubble next to Angel and a blue bubble next to Gilly.

You opened Gilly's first

12:22~

"What time does McDonald’s close?"

Followed by

"Nvm its 24 hours isn’t it😂😂"

You quickly replied "dumbass" and moved onto Angel’s chat.

Opening the snap it was a picture of Coco, Gilly and creeper sitting opposite him, beers in hand, while seemingly talking along with the caption

"Come party with us"

Skipping past the snap you was presented with another one, this time a video where Coco was sitting on the roof of a car while Gilly was attempting to push it

"C’mon man it's not that hard" Coco said

"Yeah man come on" Angel said from behind the camera

"Shut up before I make you do this" Gilly responded

What the hell have these guys been up to all night?

The snaps just got worse from there. 

Coco’s was full of them doing random stuff, throwing things at each other and even them sitting on Ez trailer roof? How did they even get up there, and how did it not break?

One of them definitely stood out from the others. It seemed like someone else was filming on his phone while Coco was trying to rip off a car door by the handle but it snapped off, sending Coco across the garage and into the wall while Gilly, Ez and Angel laughed at him

His only response was a simple "okay you mother fucker this is war" followed by his practically running like a horse in battle towards the door kicking it resulting in a bent. Unfortunately that's where the snap ended.

Is this what they had been up to? No wonder bishop wanted out.

When the cascade of snaps finished you saw there was still a blue bubble next to Coco's name, clicking on it you could see it was a video around 3 minutes long. 

You saw part of it was what you had already seen. Coco trying to pull the door, being flung into a wall, the guys laughing along with Coco kicking the door once again except this time it didn’t end when he kicked the door.

"Bro you’re not doing it hard enough" Angel stated while moving Coco out of the way

"Look you gotta-" he kicked the base of the door "-start from the bottom-'' he kicked it again causing the bottom to cave in slightly "-see? It's easy"

"Shut up man I’m stronger than you let me do it" Coco pushed Angel out of the way

"No" Angel responded, pushing coco slightly

"Yes" Coco pushed back

"No" Angel pushed again

This went on for a few moments before Gilly set the camera down on some type of surface before walking over to them

"Yo I'm stronger then both of you let me do it"

Coco stopped pushing Angel and turned to Gilly "Nah man you will steal all the shit and run off again like last time"

"Shut up man"

All three of the men were too busy arguing to notice Ezekiel had come into the garage in search of something

"Why the fuck are you guys arguing?"

All of them spoke at the same time

"Coco is sayin he’s stronger than me"

"They are children!"

"Angels tryna be a smart ass"

"You guys are fucking stupid" Ez moved towards where the phone was but didn't pick it up, rather opening the draw of the desk that was below it and picking something up, as he pulled back you could see he was holding some keys.

"Move“ He pushed Angel out the way of the door and unlocked it, grabbing a duffle bag out of the back seat, handing it to Coco

"Here"

All of the guys stood in a state of shock. Coco was the first to speak

"Why the fuck didn’t you tell us there was keys!" He exclaimed

"Because watching you guys be idiots and is fun to see you struggle"

"I swear to God I’m going to say no on your patch vote" Gilly butted into the conversation.

Ez just laughed as he walked away, the video ended shortly after all three of them cussed.

Shaking your head you laughed, of course they are dumb enough not to look for keys.

You quickly texted Coco

"You guys are dumb as shirtttt, you’re lucky Ez is around to help your dumbass's. Did the door not want to play nice hmm? Did you put a dent in the wall again with your fat ass? What was so important in that bag?"

Checking the time you saw it was 2:45

Thank god it's a Saturday tomorrow.

Setting your phone on the coffee table you realized you never put the TV on when you sat down, you were obviously too distanced by FaceTime, meaning you were sitting in silence.

Was silence a bad thing? No

Was it somehow deafening? Yeah

Grabbing the remote you turned on the TV, quickly going to Netflix in an attempt to find something decent to watch.

Your watch list was full of horror movies and crime documentaries. Definitely not the best thing to watch on your own. There were a few suspense movies on there but none of them seemed to interest you.

Going to the movie section you passed almost every more option from horror to romance to action because nothing grabbed your attention or seemed interesting.

Going back to the home page you looked at the screen for a few minutes

Was it even worth putting something on? It was almost 3am after all.

Grabbing your phone you decided to scroll through Instagram.

After a few minutes bishop’s name appeared, taking over your screen with an incoming FaceTime.

Accepting the call you were immediately greeted with the site of his kutte, followed by him putting his helmet on. By the angle you could tell his phone was resting between his handlebars and the fuel tank.

"I take it you're still awake then" he wasn’t looking at the screen. Rather he was looking in the distance just above his phone

The background suddenly filled with the sound of bike engines. He seemed to say something but it was overpowered by bikes, so you didn't hear what he said. His bike wasn’t turned on yet because the phone wasn't vibrating.

Suddenly Bishop reached his arm out to someone just out of frame and you saw him lift upwards off the seat slightly, someone’s hand patted his shoulder blade.

By the look of the tattoo on the wrist you could tell it was Coco.

Looking away from your phone you looked back up at the TV. You could still hear engines coming from your phone but now it sounded like 3 of them.

Almost simultaneously they all revved before pulling off. The sound slowly faded out as they got further out the compound.

You were still looking at the TV, you decided to look at the top 10 of the day, maybe there was something good on there.

The Meg

Reading the description it actually seemed like a good movie. Putting it on you set the remote down and looked back at your phone

This time bishop wasn’t in the frame at all. Rather you could just see the length of his bike and the wall behind where it was parked.

Where did he go?

Your question was quickly answered when he picked up the phone.

By the sound of the wind you could tell he was jogging somewhere. The phone was at his side facing outwards, you could see him approaching the steps to the clubhouse. He quickly went up them and opened the door

"Prospect!" He shouted "make sure you lock up, I’m heading out"

You could hear Ez reply with a quick "okay" from somewhere in the back

He picked up his phone so you could see his face. unlike before, you took the time to actually take in his appearance 

His eyes looked tired, his beard was longer than it usually is, he looked...well, you couldn’t describe it. He just didn’t seem himself.

You were too busy looking at him to realize he asked you a question

"Y/n"

"What?"

"Did you not hear me?"

"Oh- no sorry I turned my volume down because of the bikes"

"Oh" he paused "I asked if your door was open"

You looked at the screen for a second

"What?"

He placed his phone back on the fuel tank and straddled his bike

"I said, is your door open. You know like your front door.....to your house" he repeated, grabbing his helmet, he must have taken it off while you were looking at the TV, once again he was fastening the buckle.

"No? Why?"

"Do you want to unlock it?" you could see him kick the stand of the bike up by the way his leg moved.

"Why?" You asked he looked at the screen for a few seconds before laughing at the way your face changed as you realized what he meant

"Obispo are you inviting yourself over once again?" You questioned

"Yep"

"What if I don't let you in?" You challenged. Of course you would let him in but sometimes it was fun to mess with him

"What if I climb through a window?" He said, pulling a cigarette out his pocket and lighting it

"Okay now that's just creepy" you laughed. He shook his head as he blew out the smoke from his lungs

"So? Can I come over or not?"

Looking around your front room you saw it was a little messy but you could easily clean it up within 5 minutes.

"Sure"

"See you in 20 querida" he winked as he started the bike before ending the call.

~

You finished cleaning the front room, kitchen and your bedroom up within 10 minutes

Checking the fridge you saw that there were only 4 beers left, taking a mental note to get more the next time you go shopping.

Sitting back on the sofa you realized you had missed around half of the movie.

Pointless watching it now

You knew by bishop coming over there was a good chance you two would be awake till 4am talking about random stuff and watching something on Netflix or playing some type of game.

You also knew he liked action movies so you went to that section in search of one that sounded entertaining 

The platform ~ that didn’t sound so bad right?

Watching the preview, you became interested and wanted to watch it, forget Bishop you can watch it on your own.

"The ones above, the ones below and the one before" the voice of a man came over your speakers, he sounded young but old simultaneously.

You had just got past the introduction when you heard the rumble of a bike in the distance. For a moment you wondered if it was off the TV but as it got louder you realized it was bishop.

Getting up from the sofa you walked towards the door.

You set your hand on the door handle for what seemed like hours as you waited for him to pull up outside. Did you normally meet him at the door? Nope. Most of the time he would invite himself over and just sit down on the sofa with you for hours.

Sometimes you two spoke the whole time he was over until you both went to bed, other times you would sit in a comfortable silence- just happy to me in one another's presence.

You heard the engine cut off just beyond the door. You counted to three before unlocking it, as you did you saw Bishop was parked on the curb, still sitting on his bike while setting the helmet on the handlebars. He was yet to notice you standing at the door.

Taking a cigarette out his pocket he turned towards the street, looking at the houses to see if your neighbor's were awake, you had no idea why he did it but every time he pulled up, whether it was in a car or on his bike he always seemed to look at the neighboring houses.

He lit the cigarette, back still turned to you as he looked down the street. Leaning against the door frame you looked him over you could see that his posture was slouched indicating he was tired, he still had one hand resting on the handlebars almost like he wasn't just looking down the street but also trying to crack his back. The other hand was on the cigarette in his mouth, even from the distance from the doorway to the curb where he parked. You could see his leg was bouncing and so was his hand slightly, now that definitely wasn't normal.

 As he exhaled the smoke he turned around towards your house, jumping slightly when he saw you standing at the door. He seemed to compose himself as he took the keys out of the bike and stood up, walking towards you, his head bowed slightly as he tossed the cigarette onto the food

“I hope you are going to pick that up” you said 

“I will” he looked up at you, he was just beyond the porch steps. His eyes looked tired, there were clearly bags underneath them. He was definitely tired- if you knew anything about him ,he probably hasn't slept for a few days, and if he did it was for a short time

“You look tired”

“So do you” he cracked a small smile, by now he was standing in front of you

“Maybe because someone woke me up at 2 in the morning then I had to deal with grown ass men asking me to bring them food then suddenly someone decided to invite themselves over?”

“In my defense i thought you were still awake and the children wasn't my fault” 

You laughed as you moved away from the door frame and towards the kitchen “just come i stupid before i lock you out”

“Ouch that's harsh” he put a hand over his heart “that insult really hurt” he walked threw the door and shut it behind him, hanging his kutte up on the coat hook in the hallway along with his jacket

“Stop being a wimp” 

You heard him move into the front room and sit on the couch.

“Want a beer?” you asked as you went in the fridge for another bottle of water

"Yeah- what's this?" He questioned

“What's what?”

”On the TV dumbass” 

Walking back into the front room you saw he had his hand behind his head, his phone was on the table along with his keys.

“Oh, the platform. It seemed interesting so I started watching and only someone distracted me” you said as you handed him the beer and sat on the sofa, leaving some space between you and him.

“What's it about?”

“Not too sure something along the lines of some type of prison system where the food is on a moving platform, I only just started it”

“Hmm” grabbing the remote he pressed play while sipping his beer.

You two sat in comfortable silence while watching the movie but every so often you would look over at bishop, partly to make sure he wasn't asleep and partly to see if he was okay.

Over the time span of 30 minutes you noticed he wasn't watching the movie, rather he was looking at the wall clearly spaced out somewhere in his own mind. He was sitting so his right elbow was on the arm rest and his right hand in his mustache, messing the hair lightly. He always did that when he was thinking about something. His other hand was resting in his lap holding the beer you gave him.

“Bishop?” you waited a few moments but he didn't respond “Bishop'' you repeated, still no reaction. Taking the beer from his hand you set it on the table, putting your hands on his cheeks you turned his face toward you “bishop”

“Hmm?” he finally looked at you. Removing your hands from his face you looked him in the eyes

“What's wrong?”

“Nothing” he said shaking his his head

“Don't lie to me” your tone came out harsher than you intended he raised his eyebrows at you

“sorry didn't mean to sound like i was being mean” you pulled away slightly with the intention of going back to where you originally sat but that idea was quickly thrown out the window when he grabbed your torso and practically picked you up, sitting you on his lap. He put his head in the space between your shoulder and neck while rubbing his hands down your back

“What's wrong Obispo?” you asked once again, putting your hand in his hair, playing with it slightly.

“I'm just stressed” his voice was muffled as he spoke into your shouder

“About?”

“Everything” he moved his head so he was looking up at you “the stuff with Marcus leaving, the mc as a whole with the guys turning against each other ,all the shit going on with other clubs. Everything is just a mess and it's stressing me out” he explained. You kept on hand playing with his hair while the other went to his cheek

“Can you do anything about it?” you asked, he cocked his head to the side slightly clearly not understanding what you meant ”can you do anything about that stuff?” he looked at you for a moment before shrugging his shoulders

you continued “Marcus made his own mind up, you can't do anything there. The mc always sorts itself out, members fight, it's normal, you of all people should know what.” you explained while using your thumb trace the lines across his face caused by the lack of sleep

“Yeah, i guess you're right” he leaned up and kissed you softly “I have to say, I'm a president of a fucking mc and yet your smarter then me”

“I'm not smarter than you, I just look at what's happening and think about in the moment, where as you” you poked his chest lightly “ seem to think its a good idea to overthink stuff and look at consequences a year in advance that will probably never happen” He hummed in response before putting his head back into your neck

“Can i ask you something?” you asked

“You just did”

“Very funny” you moved to get out of his lap but was quickie pulled back down

“What was the question?”

”What the hell was in the duffle bag? coco sent me the video them trying to get it and it seemed like they really wanted it”

“Oh” bishop almost immediately started laughing to the point his whole body shook and his head was thrown back.

“Tell me stoopid” you slapped his chest slightly, playing with his shirt

“Well you see- me and Ez thought it would be funny to lock it in a car that needed scraping while they were getting high and then tell them the doors didn't work to see how long it would take for them to it but Gilly ended up pushing it from the front by the fighting cage to the garage” he managed to get out

“That didn't answer my-”

“Just wait” he cut you off “neither me or Ez knew what was in it but those three are too stupid to just break a window so they were attempting to get it for a good 20 minutes before Ez opened the door and got it out” he explained still laughing slightly “turn out it was just full of junk food and snacks they brought to eat once they get hungry later ”

“You two are evil”

“No we was having fun” he laughed

“Evil”

Just as bishop was about the respond his phone started to ring, you moved out his lap and sat back on the couch while he get up and went out the back to answer it.

looking at the tv you realized the film wasn't interesting you at all. Grabbing you phone you saw you had a snap from coco and one from angel 

what did they do now?

opening the app you clicked on to yours and Angels chat only to find a simple text

“if coco send you a video, delete it”

what?

“why” you replied before swiping off the chat and going onto Coco's. inevitably you where present with a video and a chat 

“Pease, please watch this it will be the best favor you ever do for me 🙏🏽”

your curiosity got the better of you, clicking on the video you immediately recognized the place.it was Angels front room. Gilly was chuckling lowkey behind the camera while coco was next to the door on a stool with a bucket in his hands while laughing. The camera panned down to show Gilly holding a bag of flour, now you could only assume that the bucket was full of water 

surely this couldn't end good

within a few seconds the door opened and angel walked in, coco immediately reacted throwing the contents of the bucket on top of his head while Gilly threw the flour over him.

Angel immediately froze, his face going into a startled expression followed by on of anger. Shutting the door behind him he shook of the excess flour before locking the door.

Gilly and Coco where in hysterics as Angel turned towards Coco and lunged for him, coco had a quick reaction and ran towards the backdoor , only to find it locked 

“fuck” he cursed looking for ways to escape, looking at the kitchen window he seemed to weight out his chances. by now Angels attention had gone towards Gilly who was still stood in the same place laughing. Angel lunged for him, tackling him to the ground while coco grab the phone from Gillys hand and made a run for the kitchen.

There was a lot of laughing from Gilly and shuffling in the background along with Angel cussing him out , then there was a bunch of laughing from them both of them but you could make out Angel saying “you think that shits funny huh?” “watch me key your bike” “ I'm gonna get you back so hard man

suddenly the phone was tossed out the kitchen window, shortly after you could see coco's head and body slowly emerging from the kitchen window. after a few seconds he finally managed to crawl out. picking up the phone he began to jog down the front yard 

“ha bitchesss I'm freeeee!”he exclaimed “the one time being skinny pays off”

in the background you hear a door unlock followed by Angel shouting “run bitch cuz I'm fucking coming for you”

then the video cut off

you where sat on the sofa crying from laughing so hard you quickly saved the video and texted coco back

“that is the best thing I've seen in months😂”

just as you started to calm down you started to hear bishop laughing from outside the backdoor. almost imminently he walked threw the back door in hysterics 

“did you-did you see-” he could barely talk in-between laughing 

“did i see the video?” 

“yeah”

“yes i saw it” you laughed

taking his phone he turned it towards you, it was a FaceTime from angel covered in flour, his beard was a littler of loose flour and a clumpy mess of flour and water. you couldn't help by laugh at his serious expression

“not funny y/n” he said clearly angry. in the background you could hear Coco and Gilly laughing

“you watched the video didn't you” it wasn't a question rather a statement 

“yeah” you replied still laughing 

“fuck sakeeee” suddenly he cut the call of cause both you and bishop to laugh even harder

~~~~~~~~

so yh this was men to be a fluff with bishop but i got distracted and it just kind of turned into the start of a prank war between Coco, Angle and Gilly.

[bucksblr]

#showyourprocess

From planning to posting, share your process for making creative content!

To continue supporting content makers, this tag game is meant to show the entire process of making creative content: this can be for any creation.

RULES — When your work is tagged, show the process of its creation from planning to posting, then tag 5 people with a specific link to one of their creative works you’d like to see the process of. Use the tag #showyourprocess so we can find yours!

Thank you so much for tagging me @lan-xichens​, I’ll try my best to explain how I made this set from start to finish hehe ♡ and also a big thank you to @suibianjie​ @highwarlockkareena​ @nyx4​ @aheartfullofjolllly​ and you as well Kris for putting this all together! Content creators get a lot less recognition than they deserve for all the time they put into their content, so getting everyone to see the (sometimes excessive) process we all go through to put our content in our blog, I hope it creates a positive change!! 💖

1. Planning

The set in question was actually requested by someone so they could celebrate their friend’s birthday! At first I wasn’t entirely sure if I was going to be able to finish it on time (college is very hectic right now) but I was able to finish it three days before the deadline which was may 1st! ^-^

The first thing I did was decide what characters I wanted to use in the set, I first reached out to the person who requested the set if there were certain characters they wanted me to use but they said they didn’t know enough to really give me any directives outside of the quote. I decided, since the quote is applicable to the entirety of the show, that I would try to put in as many characters as possible.

Thus, of course, came the hunting for scenes. Those of you in the net discord surely know I came into the content help channel a few times to ask for certain scenes here and there, and eventually I had to download an additional 10 episodes to the back then 20 or so episodes I had in my CQL episodes folder.

As you can see I have 30 random episodes of CQL downloaded (slowly but surely getting to the point where I have all 50 episodes downloaded) and I think I ended up using scenes out of at least 20 of those episodes.

I planned out beforehand what characters I would use per gif. I knew obviously I would start out with Wangxian, them being the main characters of the show, and then would work my way down the list. The second gif consists of Nie Huaisang, Nie Mingjue, Jin Zixuan, Jiang Yanli, Wen Qing, and Wen Ning. They’re all family pairings, two being siblings and one being a married couple. The next gifset consists of the Yi City characters, then the fourth gif consists of the juniors, and the final gif has Jin Guangyao, Mianmian, Jiang Cheng, and Lan Xichen in it.

I have to admit though that when I had made the first four gifs I’d forgotten who I would put in the last gif and the when I thought about it the first time around I could only think of Lan Qiren and the very cursed Yaoyang ship 😭 it was only at dinner time that same day that I remembered I hadn’t put Jiang Cheng in my gifset yet and that’s when I thought of the other characters as well.

I had already made my first two gifs when I went to check Hanyi’s blog for layout inspo and eventually I decided I wanted to try a triangle-ish layout, which I doodled below. I eventually ended up changing the layout of the last gif in the final design. It was also the first time I would work with a triangle-ish layout so I was a bit nervous as I was scared it wasn’t going to work out...

2. Creating

I use Avisynth 2.5 and Adobe Photoshop 2021 (the paid version, unfortunately, I need it for school except I didn’t need it this year but I wanted it so I paid for it with my own money ouch) to make my gifsets! I always start out with trimming down all the scenes I’m going to use into three to five second videos and putting them through Avisynth. This time around I did it separately for each gif I made, simply because I needed so many scenes. I would include a screenshot of my “gif vids” and “temp” folders but I’ve already deleted all the videos, which is what I usually do immediately after a set is posted.

I’ll try my best explaining this gif by gif since each one had a different layout!

2.1 Wangxian

I think I had up to five different designs of this gif 😭 it started out with the gif on the left originally being more centered and the quote right smack in the center but somehow it felt a bit too... empty? I changed up the design and pulled the gif over to the right and put the two closeups on the left, the exact opposite of the gif I eventually ended up with. I switched things around one more time and saved the gif as you can see it right now, except I didn’t include the lines yet. It was only as I finished up my fourth gif that I decided this gif needed lines as well so I added them ^-^

2.2 Nie Huaisang, Nie Mingjue, Jin Zixuan, Jiang Yanli, Wen Qing, and Wen Ning

I got the inspiration for the font layout on this gif from this Wenzhou post! I hadn’t tried it before and when I did for this gif I was very happy with the way it turned out :D I wanted to portray that life is a pile of good and bad things, as the quote says, in CQL by mirroring these happy scenes side by side with the sad scenes

2.3 Yi CIty

My first time working with the triangle layout!! Putting in the lines and making sure they would line up with the second gif took me the longest of all actually  😭 I think once I got the line on the left in I just copy pasted it and flipped it horizontally so I didn’t have to fiddle around with angling it anymore :’) my original idea was to get a happy Song Lan scene and a sad A-Qing scene, but when I stumbled upon this A-Qing scene in ep38 I just had to put it in there because her smile is so precious 🥺 Xue Yang and Xiao Xingchen in the center are also supposed to be mirrored, with Xue Yang embodying the “bad things” and Xiao Xingchen the “good things” ! I also think the Yi City characters fit this part of the quote very well!!

2.4 The Juniors

Ah yes, the junior quartet!! :D I had this planned out from the very beginning, that I would include happy versus sad juniors in the “vice versa” part of the quote, and I think it worked out quite well! My first idea was to put the “vice versa” completely in the special font and have it typed out over the gifs like I did with the “vice” but as I typed out the “versa” I realized it had one letter too much to be able to do that 😭😭 it took me a while to come up with how I would position the “but” and “versa” and after some moving around I decided to just place them the way I did in the final gif! For the font, I duplicated the “vice” and added a stroke to the duplicate, then I changed the fill setting to 0% so I could slightly drag the duplicate away from the original layer to create the effect that’s in the gif — also, finding a scene in which Jin Ling smiles is really difficult.... he barely even smiles in the scene I ended up using :(

2.5 Jin Guangyao, Mianmian, Jiang Cheng, and Lan Xichen

The final gif!! I feel like this might come a little across as “I promise I didn’t forget these characters” because they’re a very odd quadruplet to put together, but they were the most important characters left to put in the set! I was thinking of putting Nie Mingjue in here together with Jin Guangyao and Lan Xichen, but I did feel he fit more with his brother up in the second gif. Mei @mylastbraincql​ cheered me on making this gif for which I was very grateful :D <3 the layout came to be after I googled “how to evenly split a rectangle in four” because I didn’t want a repeat layout in the set  (*/∇＼*)

2.6 Coloring

For the coloring I pretty much did all of the tweaking on the first gif and then copy pasted all of it onto the second, third, fourth, and fifth gif. This is usually the way I go about my coloring, I will always edit certain gifs if necessary but I don’t think I had to change the coloring much on any of these gifs? Maybe I added in a curve layer here and there, but nothing major! This is really one of my preferred coloring styles, even though I try to step outside of my comfort zones with other sets ^-^

3. Posting

I will always upload sets into my drafts and edit the caption in there as well, clicking on “preview post” a couple times to check everything looks good on my blog as well, before I post a set. However, this time, since there was a deadline and I finished before the deadline, I put this set in the queue so it would automatically post on the 1st of may! Knowing myself, I would’ve forgotten to do so </3

Whew that was... a lot 😭 did it make any sense? Probably not, but it was fun to ramble （ ´∀｀）

I’ll tag

@blinkplnk​ with this set !

@wuxien​ with this set !

@wendashanren​ with this set !

@wanyinxichen​ with this set !

@yibobibo​ with this set !

@mylastbraincql​ with this set !

@sugarbabywenkexing​ with this set !

@yiling-recesses​ with this set !

@jiancheng​ with this set !

Please feel totally free to ignore this if you’ve already been tagged and don’t want to do it again!! <3

[bringmoreknives]

HOW TO RECOGNIZE REPOSTED GIFS/EDITS

lately, i’ve been seeing a huge rise in reposts of gifs and edits, and of spreading those reposts. i don’t think it’s a malicious thing at all from people who reblog them, but it’s important to be able to spot them in the future so that we can stop perpetuating this kind of behavior. so without any further ado, here are a few ways to recognize reposted gifs and edits. please keep in mind that it’s usually a combination of a few of these factors, and that one of them being present doesn’t necessarily mean the post is DEFINITELY a repost. be smart, but also be vigilant!

1. non-matching watermarks a watermark is a (usually) small/unobtrusive placing of the gifmaker/editor’s url or username somewhere on the gif. for example, here’s a gif i made; you can see my tumblr url, bringmoreknives, very lightly in the upper left corner.

now, just because you see a post from a blog with a different url than the one in the watermark doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a repost. editors and gifmakers change their urls, just like everyone else does. however, the watermark is a good place to start. you can always go to that original url and see if you can trace them to the blog that posted the post in question. and if you’re an editor, make sure you watermark your shit and leave a clear trail to your new blog -- i have redirect pages set up on all my old urls, all the way back to when i first made this blog in 2013. 

2. mismatched gifs or edits being posted together, or media being posted in an awkward way in my opinion, this is the best indicator of reposts. oftentimes, because they don’t make the content themselves, reposters don’t understand the logic of making a cohesive gif or edit set, and so will cram a bunch of random gifs/edits of different sizes, video qualities, and psds/effects together into one post. they also might post gifs that were meant to be side by side on top of each other or vice versa, resulting in a reduction of quality and everything looking super pixel-y. 

in a post, this will look like:

dramatically different colorings on gifs being posted side by side (not just, like, one or two black and white gifs in a clear color scheme, but one sepia-toned, one original colored, one extremely lightened, etc)

parts of some images being cut off due to different image dimensions

media from a bunch of different events, appearances, episodes, etc. that isn’t tied together by a common theme

3. use of tumblr mobile “fonts” in the caption this is a super obvious one, imo. again, on its own it’s not necessarily a giveaway, but i don’t know any editor who posts original gifs from their phone, simply because you need photoshop to make them, and therefore the files will be on your computer.

4. captions that comment on the content, or a lack of caption at all lack of a caption is less indicative of a repost than an odd caption is. but reposters often caption their reposted comment with something relatively irrelevant, like “omg he’s so cute” or something. additionally, many original posts will have a link to the video source in the caption -- so if everything else checks out AND there’s a source linked, it’s probably fine. (again, lack of a linked video source is not a marker of a repost: tumblr recently changed the rules where any post with an external link won’t show up in tags, so many creators leave off source links now.) also, worth mentioning that people DO often repost with the caption “not my gif/edit/pic,” and this is a great reminder that that is not an acceptable alternative to simply REBLOGGING  POST FROM THE ORIGINAL SOURCE.

5. lack of a tag to indicate that the work is the poster’s own creators will often have tags for all of their original content. this can be anything from “mine,” “my stuff,” etc. to a series of asterisks or other punctuation marks that aren’t likely to be used for anything else. additionally, many creators will prominently display a link to this somewhere on their blog, if they have a custom theme. if a post doesn’t have some kind of tag indicating ownership that you can click on and browse to see more original content, that can be a major red flag.

6. crosstagging/adding irrelevant tags reposters want to get their posts seen, reblogged, and liked by as many people as possible. they thrive off clout for stuff they didn’t make. therefore, they have a tendency to add a SHITLOAD of tags that don’t really have anything to do with the actual subject matter. for example, if it’s mcr reposts, they might tag all of the band members, even if they’re not all featured, all of the album names, a ton of bands in the same musical circles, and even instagram-esque hashtags like “cute,” “emo,” “scenecore,” etc.

and there you have it -- here are some of the ways i know to spot reposts from seven years as a creator on this site. you get better at it the more time you spend in a fandom, because you’ll recognize content that popularly gets reposted, and also just learn to have a trained eye for this sort of thing. but until you reach that stage, i hope that this helps. please reblog to spread the word, and don’t be afraid to call out reposters, with links to the original post if you can find it, because creators on this site have a hard enough time as it is. and feel free to add anything else you use to spot reposts!

[skekheck]

Theory: UrVa’s Arrows Were Originally Meant To Incapacitate, Not Kill, skekMal

Maybe this is common consensus, but it’s something I’ve been thinking about for a while. On the surface, it seemed like urVa had wanted to put an end to skekMal at the Circle of the Suns and the Hunter escaped before he could finish the job. But then there was this line in episode 10 that always felt odd to me:

urVa: I had a dream that I was one that became two that became one again. I looked through my dark half’s eyes and knew Aughra was right. [...] ...The Hunt must end. 

It’s just “but urVa, weren’t you doing just that a day or so prior?”. But then after rewatching their standoff again it hit me: maybe urVa’s intentions were not to kill skekMal but to incapacitate him.

Let’s look at the scene again

SkekMal was shot a total of three times: the first one through his upper arm, the second around the bottom right of his torso, and the last through his upper leg (possibly thigh?). 

(Sorry couldn’t find a better pic of his leg shot)

Weird places to aim for if urVa had wanted to kill him, right? Wouldn’t he have gone for targets that would more likely result in death, like the throat or through the eye sockets? It’s not like he would miss: urVa’s a master marksman. Instead, all three shots prevented (or at least was an attempt to stop) skekMal without taking his life.

The first shot prevented skekMal from harming Rian. The second was retaliation for ignoring the Archer’s warning. UrVa flat out told him to not approach the Gelfling but you see the Hunter take a step forward anyway, prompting him to release the second arrow. The final one was an attempt to stop skekMal from escaping with Brea. Seeing as how urVa immediately collapsed after firing that arrow, it would have worked. However, he underestimated how committed skekMal was to the Hunt, considering he pushed through the pain to get what he needed done.

Those arm and leg wounds aren’t inherently life-threatening. The arrow in his torso, though, is more concerning. It’s possible it could have had or at least be at risk of damaging his organs. Now, the Skeksis have weird-as-fuck anatomy (that goes without saying) so we have no real way of knowing if it was endangering him or not. But considering the nature of his other two wounds, I don’t think it was a kill shot. A more serious wound, but not deadly if tended to. And that’s probably what urVa intended: he aimed for that spot in the hopes skekMal would stop to take care of his wounds. 

But Weren’t Both skekMal and urVa In Critical Condition?

Oh yeah, they still were and skekMal’s partially to blame for it. It’s not a great idea to move around too much with arrows lodged in you. The arrow heads and shaft could move around and cause more internal damage. SkekMal moving made what would have been minor to moderate wounds way more serious. Not to mention, he never stopped to pull them out and heal himself: he kept those things in. 

And let’s not forget how far of a distance between the Circle of the Suns and the Castle is. There are multiple versions of maps of Thra that have some siginifcant differences, but the main point is those two locations are pretty far from each other. Even if he used Bennu to fly all the way over to the Castle, skekMal would still have to deal with Brea thrashing around on his back. And it looks like he took a detour to grab a cage for her, which he then dragged through the Castle’s corridors. Baiting Rian and his friends just so he can fulfill his Hunt was apparently more important to him than his well-being (which is ironic if you believe skekMal’s philosophy surrounding the Hunt is his own way of self-preservation).

EDIT: Wanted to add that skekMal was in a difficult position in terms of what he wanted. He would know that if he’d pull those arrows out he would have to treat them right away otherwise he’d bleed to death. At the same time, he would also had to keep Brea from escaping. I think he weighed his options and found that he’d had more success just pushing through it and keeping them in then treat them later. SkekMal might had also thought the other Skeksis would be able to treat him if it was serious enough? 

And SkekTek Made It Worse

SkekTek is no doctor. He can cut up and research on animals all he wants, but that doesn’t count as medical knowledge. It’s painfully obvious he has no idea what he’s doing: his diagnosis and treatment of skekMal’s condition is enough proof of that. And speaking of which, skekTek’s diagnosis is full of nonsense:

Skektek: Subject suffers severe exsanguination. Extreme distress to the humus. [...] Imbalance of intrinsic fluids. Manifold ruptures in corporeal morphology. [Checks for a heart beat] Ah. Ah... . Expiration... is... [dramatic pause] inevitable.

Literally he’s saying skekMal has multiple holes in his body and he’s bleeding out. You know, pointing out the obvious. Also, I tried finding out if “humus” related to anything biologically, but all I could find was it’s a term for... soil made of organic matter. I’m not sure what he was trying to refer to, I think he was just misusing it to make himself sound smart.

EDIT: I have been told by a few people that skekTek might be referring the humerus, which is a bone found in the upperarm that’s forms joints at the elbow and shoulder. This would make more sense and would mean skekTek made a proper diagnosis. However, at least to me, it still sounds like he’s saying humus. Another skeksis repeats him and they also say humus, not humerus. Turning on the captions also has it as humus. This could either be a typo or skekTek did mean humerus, but said humus instead. 

And how he actually treats skekMal is atrocious. 

He pulls the arrows out without making any attempts to stop the bleeding, clean the wounds, or apply stitches. He’s letting him bleed out and he should at least know they need blood to live. Do you know what happens when someone loses too much blood? Among other side effects, organ failure and falling into a coma. SkekTek did eventually made an effort to heal skekMal by giving him essence, but it was too little too late. SkekMal’s condition was so far gone at that point he really needed Aughra’s essence to survive.

UrVa’s Intentions

And now we’re going right back to urVa. While thinking over on urVa’s actions, I started wondering if he anticipated skekMal wouldn’t stay put and that the Hunter would do his own self in by moving around with the arrows lodged in him. I mean, urVa is a mystic, an indirect kill would make sense. But giving it more thought, I don’t think that’s the case. A lot of his actions during the series suggests otherwise. 

UrVa was very contemplative, even saddened, about having to end the Hunt for skekMal. He is not like his other half: he respected and appreciated all life on Thra. He also sees the cycle of life as well as the wilderness as something untamable. This is implied while he was talking with Aughra in episode 4:

urVa: We do not get to decide when our part in the song is finished.

While urVa is one of the more proactive Mystics, he still is... a Mystic. He doesn’t believe he should manipulate or control what goes on around him and let things be. The Bestiary book points to the fact that while urVa did keep tabs on skekMal, he never interfered with his hunts. So it was a big deal when Aughra quested him with the task of stopping skekMal. 

Also I’d like to point out urVa and Aughra’s final conversation because it’s also important for this discussion:

urVa; And where does my path lead? Aughra: Into the sands to face the Hunter. urVa: [sighing and looks away from Aughra for a moment] I cannot defeat my dark half. Aughra: You will find a way. But not without sacrifice.  urVa: And if I fail? Aughra: The heroes of Thra will be lost. urVa: Mm... [pauses and takes a deep breath] I will end the hunt. Aughra: Good. Get a move on. You Mystics are not known for your swift speed. We have much to do. [...] urVa: [pauses and looks at Aughra] Will we meet again, Aughra? Aughra: [stops walking, saddened] Hm... [faces him] Some things... even Aughra cannot see, old friend.  [urVa pauses and then groans, walks away from Aughra as they both parted ways for the final time]

He shows a lot of hesitance in completing this task. I’m sure he knew what Aughra was implying: that he may have to take skekMal’s life away but he still went and asked if they would meet each other again anyway. I think he was hoping for a positive answer, that it wouldn’t have to come to that, and seemed disheartened by her answer. But he still tried. He tried to stop skekMal in a way that, while not exactly peaceful, was not meant to be life-threatening. UrVa even pleads for him to stop... twice! The first time as skekMal was making his get-away and the second time while urVa helplessly watched him go after Rian again through the Hunter’s eyes. 

These two only had one scene together so we don’t really know the extent of their relationship. But if there’s one thing that’s clear was the conflict between them. I mean, during their whole duel, the characters were purposely placed on opposite sides of the room while making sure to show that skekGra and urGoh, a pair who were able to find harmony, were always side by side. It’s also in the way they address each other: while urVa does refer to him as his dark half, he also called him by his name. SkekMal, meanwhile, only ever referred to urVa as his title and nothing more. 

But I don’t think urVa had any ill-will towards his Skeksis. He seemed understanding of him and valued his life as much as he valued all living beings on Thra. I think if they both didn’t end up in a near-death situation, he’d try incapacitating skekMal again. However he understood and accepted his situation towards the end: with skekMal on an essence high, incapacitation method was no longer possible. If he allowed it to go on, all of Thra would be at risk. It was a desperate situation, but he knew Aughra was right. She gave up her life for the preservation of the world and urVa knew he had to do the same: for her and for Thra. The Hunt had to end and in order to protect the world he cherished he had to make the ultimate sacrifice. 

[jengarie]

#showyourprocess !

From planning to posting, share your process for making creative content!

To continue supporting content makers, this tag game is meant to show the entire process of making creative content: this can be for any creation.

RULES — When your work is tagged, show the process of its creation from planning to posting, then tag up to 5 people with a specific link to one of their creative works you’d like to see the process of. Use the tag #showyourprocess so we can find yours!

Thank you, @rinielle for tagging me! She chose the piece above (original post), and oh boy this one was a whole ass rollercoaster ride! Unfortunately, I hadn't turned on the timelapse feature for this but I'll try to go through each part of the process as best as I can!

The photos I'm gonna upload are gonna be a mix of screenshots and literal photos of my screen, because I'm taking some of them from my updates to friends, since a lot of the steps got lost in my painting process.

But before that, let me tag some other amazing creators!

@dragonji: this gif art!

@candicewright: this yibo painting!

@wendashanren: this gifset!

@mylastbraincql: this gif!

I haven't been able to keep track of who's been tagged so apologies if you've already done this! Also, no pressure to do it at all if you would rather not! <3

Planning

Sometimes, I get an idea first and find reference photos to go with that idea. But for this one, I sought out a reference photo first, and built an idea on top of it!

After that, I roughly sketch out the base pose. Usually, this looks very messy, but it doesn't really matter as long as I understand which part goes where!

The idea for the background didn't really come until the creation process because I don't think I really planned this to be a full piece.

Creation

Sketching

Honestly, from this point on, it's more of trial and error.

So, I redid the the initial base pose—made it cleaner and a little bit more detailed. See: the added definition in their arm muscles, the rearrangement of Wei Wuxian's legs, and Lan Wangji's hand on Wei Wuxian's back. If you look at the second photo, I also changed the pose a bit midway—I tend to edit as I go sometimes when I change my mind. (For this, I thought, given the Lan arm strength, it would be better to make Lan Wangji look more at ease carrying Wei Wuxian. This gets covered by the robes anyway though, so it didn't matter much in the end.)

I also started adding details to the base! I usually start with the face and then the hair! I usually go for the clothes next, but I dreaded the robes in this piece so I guess that's why I ended up with a basic idea of what I wanted for the background instead LOL I also figured out how I want the final crop to look like, so I blocked out all the other areas with an extra layer!

Okay, onto the part that killed me like ten times: the robes. There are a lot of interactions between their robes here given their pose, and not to mention they also have layers upon layers on each of them! So, to maintain my sanity and to keep track of which part is which, I color coded them into the most colorful sketch I've ever made.

Another reason why I filled in each layer of robe with a solid block of color, is so that all the lines underneath gets covered. Without all of the colors, the actual outline actually looks like the one on the right. What a nightmare!

I also ignored the crop again for this part, because it's always better to draw past your borders, in case you decide to rotate or tilt or whatever your piece later on. I didn't do the feet anymore though, because that I was sure wouldn't show in the final piece anymore.

After that, I did the sketch one more time and then started adding the base colors. (I didn't have a screenshot of just the base colors, and the final CSP file is a nightmare so I copy pasted the layers into a new canvas to show you guys :') )

By the way, I drew their robes flowing this way, because I wanted it to frame the lower arch of the moon behind them for the composition. It was a little frustrating that I couldn't get Lan Wangji's robes a little higher because of Wei Wuxian's legs but I later filled in the empty space with his forehead ribbon anyway, so it all worked out in the end!

Painting

Because apparently, I was a masochist back then, I merged the base colors all into one layer and started adding shadows to the robes. (These days, I add shadows first and then, merge. It's much easier this way.)

And then, I started painting! Again, I did the face first and then the hair, before finally the robes. This was my first time painting side profiles and honestly it was quite a pain to figure out LOL but !!! I think I did a good job and I'm proud of how it turned out. I again used reference photos for this one but I can't link any because they were just several random Pinterest photos that I didn't save.

Another thing to note is that I use the mesh transform tool a lot, especially on faces. That's largely why Lan Wangji's face looks so different in the latter two!

And then I went with the robes. Somewhere along the way, I realized I didn't like how I planned to do Lan Wangji's sleeves and the flowy part of Wei Wuxian's robes and I... decided, with much dread, to do them over. So I sketched on top of the painted layers and redid the robes, again.

It was at this point that I decided to take a break from this piece because it was honestly very draining! I think it took about three weeks before I decided to open the file again and continue it.

When I did, I just finished painting the rest of the robes and their hands. The blue details on Lan Wangji's outer robes were painted on a separate layer that I put on Multiply. I probably did more adjustments to the face and hair and stuff, because my painting process is honestly a mess :')

Final Adjustments

I added some correction layers on certain areas to fix some of the colors. See: Lan Wangji's sleeve becoming much brighter and paler; Wei Wuxian's legs having less contrast. And then I merged all of the layers (excluding the background) and added a bit of blur. See: Wei Wuxian's ponytail; the entire lower part; the flowing forehead ribbon. My reasoning for this is so that most of the detail (and therefore the flow of the eye) goes to their faces and expressions!

And then, I put a blue Overlay layer on low opacity to make Wangxian blend better with the background, added a bit of shadow on the inside and the lower sections and added the glowing details for the added flair. I initially wanted sparkles and/or stars but they didn't turn out as well as this did. I also upped the contrast by a little for the entire piece!

Aaaand, that's it! In truth, I did a bit more color adjustments to the whole piece, but I was a dummy who forgot to turn them back on before posting so ... oh well.

Posting

Before posting, I upload it either on my spare private Twitter account or on a drafted Tumblr post so I can check the colors on my phone. This is because the colors on different devices can look very different, and I would at the very least want all my pieces to look nice on both of my devices!

And then, once I deem it satisfactory, I just try to think of a caption and post! Some artists wait for a certain time where most of their followers are active, but I didn't have a lot of MDZS followers at this point so it didn't really matter to me.

It still doesn't really; I haven't actually been able to figure out when my MDZS followers are awake even now.

[popculturebuffet]

Amphiba: True Colors Review or FINALLY THE  FINALE

We’re finally here all you happy people! Ten Months, 36 episodes, 20 half hours, a lot of gay subtext, a lot of bloodshed, and a lot of build up have lead us all here! One absolutely STUFFED finale: A trust is betrayed, a rebllion is had, a conquerer rises and NOTHING will ever be the same.. and yes htat’s thrown around a lot but this is one of those times where NOTHING WILL BE THE SAME. This is that kind of finale folks. 

But before I can get into all the juicy stuff you’ve been waiting for there’s a few things to discuss.. and the first is obviously the fact we had to wait three goddamn extra weeks to get here after spending all season leading up to this. 

You all know the story by now. Hell I even angirly ranted about it when it happened and rightfully so. But frankly the colossal delay is going to be such an integral and permeant part of this episode and this show’s history that not talking about it in this review would do it a diservice: So to recap: The finale was posted to air  May 1st, a weak after “The Dinner/Battle of the Bands”. I had it set in my schedule, it showed up in that month’s press release of Disney Channel Episodes, We were all ready to go with all the tight and intense build up leading up to this. 

Then the worst happened and Disney aburbtly, and with a funny face image trying to play it off as a joke annoucned via it’s animation twitter the episode would be delayed. Now in fairness to the twitter person there, they were PROBABLY trying to help massage a blow... but seriously dude, read the room next time.  Thankfully creator Matt Braly stepped in and explained it was technical delays. After what happened the next day I ASSUMED he was just trying to cover for them as it would turn out the episode was finished.. turns out, and I had to edit the review to reflect this the truth was somewhere in the middle. Edits were more discussed, likely due to the episodes very violent nature, and the episode was given a content warning. Given what happens.. I can’t blame Disney for wanting one or for thinking of editing it.. but canblamehtem for the “Things that could’ve been brought to my attention YESTERDAY’ nature of the edist and the insuing delay. 

I can also blame them for leaking the episode on ITUNES. Yeah if they were REALLY concenred abotu content then they would’ve held off longer and not brought this up five minutes before it aired, delaying the episode for many. Hell I DEFENEDED them in the original version of this, but they had MONTHS of this episode being in production to fucking say something. WHy do this five mintues before it’s finished? 

It just smacks of laziness and overly panicy stuff. A content warning would’ve been FINE. You ahve it for racisim on Disney Plus, just put one here and call it a day. You haven’t objected to the horrifying content in the series up to this point why start NOW.  And they STILL never apologized. For any of this. For the leak, for the delay, never properly explaining the delay (Matt didn’t either.. but given how twitchy comapnies can be about what their creators say, I can’t blame him for not wanting to clarify it was a post credit’s thing till closer to airtime), just in general not giving a shit abotu the kids or adults watching this. Just because kids watch thiis dosen’t me older kids don’t have social media, and it dosen’t mean teens don’t. If you want to pretend us adults watching this don’t exist.. fine. It sucks but I can’t do anything. But do not do this shit to kids and then not go to them. And again Matt could’ve.. but it’s not his fucking job. His job is to make a show, help make sure it gets to air and be a sweeheart. YOURS is to make sure things run smoothly and when their is a hickup,get your house in order. 

Matt shoudln’t of HAD to beg people not to watch it. Various va’s for the show shoudln’t of HAD to record funny messages.. it was appricated but it’s not thier job to prevent this from spreading. It’s yours. It’s yours to open your damn eyes and see adults and older teens watch this stuff too and to head that shit off. This incident is going to stick in my craw for god knows how long and ALMOST convinced me not to cover Owl House weekly (I still woud’ve likely done a review on each half of the season). I ended up renegeing on that and will be starting regular coverage of that in June and continuing coverage of this show whenever it returns.. but it was close. 

And it’s ultimately YOU GUYS that kept me hanging in there. It was thanks to a Disney show this blog exists in the first place, and contiunes to get the bulk of it’s viewers. It’s how I got my patreon, biggest fan and bfinacial backer Kev. I’ts why I can do what I love, talking about and analyzing stuff I enjoy and ocasionally loathe. You guys came back week after week for my ducktales reviews and stayed for Amphibia. I”m sure i’ll get even more for Owl House. It’s thanks to all of you I can keep going despite the hardships, the lack of patreons, the long nights, the weird sleep schedules. I wouldn’t of made it through 20 weeks of awesome tv without you. So for you, and for myself, i’ll hang in there but I expect better Disney. And i’m damn well gonna get it. So join me under the cut as the world turns upside down.. and there are a LOT of spoilers. Seriously if you want to wait for the tv airing do not go under the cut

So we open with a flashback to 8 months ago, the day all this began: Marcy was working in the library on her cram classes, getting texts from both Sasha, who was excited about Anne’s birthday, and her own father who wants her to come home right away as there’s something important they need to discuss. 

But before she can a book about the strange and what not naturally slips out and Mar-Mar can’t help but thumb through it.. and as you were no doubt dreading.. finds the box which is said in a large tv friendly caption to lead to other worlds. 

Naturally Marcie is intrigued and snaps a pick and heads home... and we cut to the END of that conversation as she tearfully runs out of the house , refusing to accept what they’ve told her and her dad coming off hella unsympathetic with his overly harsh tone, especially since we DO find out what he told her... and it’s a lot to put on her and a lot to just say “accept because I helped make you for all of two unsatisfying minutes. “ 

So while running away she passes the box.. and sets the events from both the show’s opening and the flashback from the last finale in motion. Marcy sent them here on purpose.

Yeah needless to say I DIDN’T see this coming. And it seems obvious in hindsight: Marcy being the one most desperate to keep thier friendship together, as we’ll see at it’s worst through this episode, her barely mentioning going home, and most tellingly the only things she talks about from earth were Anne, Sasha and her dorky intrests. All the things closest to the heart and that she’s most likely to make out with.. but while Anne brings up earth stuff every so often even after getting more screen time in Season 2b... Marcy NEVER talks about that kind of stuff. She has her girlfriends and a real life fantasy novel right here... but she DOSEN’T miss her parents or earth itself. And given her life was already shown to be as an outcast with only two people carring about her, three with her mom now we know, who never REALLY fit in and whose on friends very clearly didn’t share her intrests.. it probably made it all the more tempting: a real adventure, an escape from her problems, and a way to start over: become who she always PLAYED and not who she was. Everything just.. snaps into place with this revelation and makes Marcy an all the more heartbreaking character... even more so soon enough when we find out what her overall plan was. 

But that’s half an episode away: for now our party returns on Joe to Newtopia.. though clumsly. Marcy admits that they probably can’t fit more people on him. But with this our heroes are ready to finish this story and with a plan since obviously they can’t just walk into town with two wanted crminals: Marcy will present the box and THEN sasha and grime, who will cloak themselves to avoid attracting attentions, with literal cloaks Marcy hasn’t made a cloaking device yet, so hopefully they’ll get a pardon. 

Inside Sprig and Anne talk, with Sprig admitnig he’s sad this is the last adventure.. but Anne has hope. After all they have a way home now and that portal goes both ways. She can hop back any time and vice versa. This sin’t goodbye.. it’s just goodbye for now. And i’ts something I genuinely didn’t think of.. and not just because Andrias’ shady actions and Sasha and Grime’s machinations meant this was NEVER going to end well. 

Speaking of Sasha and Grime’s machinations those come to a head: As our heroes enter the castle, greeted by Lady Olivia, and we get our typical end of the RPG speech from the “Good” king.... Sasha swipes the box and Grime uses the hammer to knock everyone off ballance. The coup the two have been cooking up has come to pass. 

Anne and Marcy’s reactions.. are telling: Anne is utterly pissed at the betryal and done with Sasha and Marcy is begging both sides to stop as this was not how it was supposed to end. Sasha tries to use a box as a baranging chip, and plans to destroy it if Andrias dosen’t surrender despite destroying her way home. Given it’s implied her home life isn’t great either and she gets to rule an empire instead of a school, it’s easy to see why. 

Grime stops him from calling her bluff though by wacking him in the shins and then hodling him at hammer point to get the military of Newtopia to stand down while his covert Toad agents reveal themselves and runamuck. Grime has won. 

Anne meanwhile is livid, with Sasha not quite getting why MAYBE Anne would once again feel betrayed that once again Sasha is trying to do everything her way and once again lied to her and harmed innocent people. Anne breaks off their friendship which deeply uspets Marcy.. who weirldy. ISN’T trying to talk Sasha out of this. After all she gets what she wanted anyway. She IS upset when Sasha tries to send them home for defiance.. but the box dosen’t work for her and she simply has the guards escort our heroes and Olivia out till she can figure this out. 

Naturally though Anne, being pissed, heartbroken and pissed, and yes that was indeed intentional, HEADBUTTS the nearest guard and breaks them out, with the planatrs starting to fight back. Their still outnumbered.. but help arrives 

Or rather the Amphibia equilvent as both wolverines are busy with prep for the Hellfire Gala. Yes it’s General Yunan, who Lady Olivia cuts off probably not for the first time. Your lucky that’s one of her turn on’s lady.

So our heroes sneak out and head to Sals, while the Toads wreck up the town. Marcy... is of course desperate to fix things, but figures it’s easy. All they have to do is free the king, stop the rest of the army from arriving, their an hour away, and cementing grime’s foothold, get her girlfriends to reconcile and fix the inherent power imbalance so a rebellion doesn’t’ happen again. 

But Anne rouses them: They may be a goofus, a quick witted kid, an out of touch old man, a literal baby, am etaphorical baby, and a nerd.. but their a BADASS Goofus, kid, old man, babies and nerd... and two other ladies the toads actually know and respect. They’ve fought worse: Canibals, princess bride references, theater bandits, chicken elder gods, Poly’s addiction to angry mobs and paste pot pete and come back stronger each time. They can do this. They might only be 8 strangers, but together they can fuck up this shit. or to have a previously mentioned buddy of mine sum it up

So with that it’s time to split up gang: Marcy, Hop Pop and Olivia will go free the king using Hop Pop’s acting skills...which actually works despite Olvia’s doubts. Polly, Yunan and Frobo will put the hammer down and give them hell, taking out the toads in the city and drawing all of them away from the gate where Spriganne will trigger it thus saving the day. 

Meanwhile Sasha is feeling discontent. She got everything she wanted.. but she didn’t think about what to DO with all that power. At home she could do all sorts of things ruling a school but now she’s lost one of the loves of her life. Without Anne and Marcy i’ts just empty. Even Grime’s utterly heartfelt gift of an emerald sword, he knew she always wanted to duel wield that has a heron on it, a sign of how they met and a truly sweet gesture can’t cheer her up. So Grime suggests redecorating and the first thing to go is a sappy mural of Andrias and his subjects. What they find UNDER it though is horrifying.. and i’ts surprisingly not a bunch of spiders like you’d expect.. but a mural of Andrius as some sort of horrible king with an army of robot frogs like Frobo, with a LOT of frog, toad and newt skeletons piled up. Sasha and Grime are glad they dodged that bullet.. only to find Anne scaling the tower with Sprig, the two naturally going to stop them.

 The two try and turn the wheel, but can’t as there’s a doorstop... one they DEFINTELY saw earlier when looking out the window of Sal’s.

Regardless they send Polly for that.. and the rematch begins. Sasha TRIES talking to Anne.. but given she stabbed her in the back AGAIN for incredbly petty reasons, that’s not going to work and the two get one hell of a fight. Beautifully animated and rife with emotion as the two clash with Sasha DESPERATLY trying to get Anne to stop for a second and listen and Anne rightly refusing, while we watching know our hero winning will spell DOOM for this world despite her trying to do the right thing. Anna and Brenda’s acting here is just TOP notch. In any other episode this would be the best part of it.. but we’re only getting warmed up.

While they fight, we get a surprising and awesome bout I did not see coming: Sprig Vs Grime. And it gives me Spider-Man vs Kingpin vibes really: A rotund but still far more powerful opponent versus a smaller but quicker one. And that’s how even more shockingly, Sprig comes out the WINNER. While Grime has the hammer and more strength and skill... Sprig has speed and thus gets Grime to whack himself with it. Granted he can’t use the thing and comically spins around afterword.. but it proves Grime’s racist thoughts about frogs wrong and leaves Anne free to turn the wheel once she beats Sasha. The invasion is thwarted.

But naturally given the ooky spooky mural and the other hints of ominous shit like the watcher with a thousand eyes, this isn’t the end. Back at the throne room, with Sasha and Grime as prisoners Anne gives Andrias the box despite sasha begging her not to. But rather than send her home right away.. he has a history lesson for her first. And nothing good ever starts with someone delaying helping you to give a sinister history lesson let me tell you.

We find out the while truth: Amphibia was once a technological empire powered by the box, and prosperity SEEMINGLY reigned, and Andrias, much like our heroines, had two close friends, a toad and a frog. But one day they betrayed him, abandoning him and seemingly stealing the box , leaving his mechanical marvels powerless and Andrias bitter and angry. Hence the whole revenge ploy. 

In an unsurprising and invincible-esque twist, he reveals his ancestors were not explorers but CONQUERERS and he intends to finish their work, placing the box on a pedestal that turns his castle into a flying fortress glowing blue. It only gets worse from there: the castle’s awakening also activates factories around Amphibia similar to the one we saw back in “Fort in the Road” that gave us Frobo and it turns out their dark purpose.. is to create armies of unstoppable soldiers to secure his dominon.... and spread it to the other worlds. The reason he didn’t send the girls home is he figures correctly Anne and the others will try and stop him from TAKING it. 

So yeah Anne’s reaction is very naturally...

And despite being outgunned, outmanned, outnumbered and outplanned she plans to make an all out stand. She realizes that her own fight with Sasha only allowed something FAR WORSE to take hold. She’s not WRONG for fighting her, Sasha was being a shithead taking over and did so for flimsy and selfish reasons and she had no reason to listen to her.. but had she at least thought over giving him the box and not simply given it to him to spite her none of this would be happening. So she and the plantars get ready for round 2, with Sasha having her back this time, and Grime having Sasha’s. It’s a really sweet moment, showing Sasha has realized just how much her own greedy and controlling ambitions have cost her and that she’s brought about something far worse thorugh them, and is ready to make amends and Grime as always ready to stand by the only true family he has. 

But before the carnage can begin.. Marcy stops them... and then tearfully turns to Andrias “This wasn’t our deal!”. Andrias, now not having to play nice, dosen’t care and cruelly points out of course he did: He would’ve said whatever it took to get her to fill the box and she did it. He also hints at Marcy’s dark secret, with both girls wondering what the hell he’s on about.. but clearly starting to piece it together, with Andrias cruelly toying with Marcy to tell them before he does.. and barely gives her any time before going ahead with it anyway, knowing she’d be unable to. And with this we get the best line of the episode and Keith david’s best delivery.. and given he makes a fucking seven course meal of the entire second act, yeah that’s a high bar.

"Did it ever occur to you — Anne, Sasha — that one of you knew more than she was letting on? That one of you might've gotten you stranded in Amphibia... on purpose?"

The line itself hits like a sledgehammer. We knew for the full episode she did this on purpose.. but we also knew at some point it was clearly going to come out and hurt them both.. and to see someone Marcy clearly saw as a better replacement dad, someone she thought cared about her and was offering her her dreams for no gain on his end cruelly tell them clearly for his own amusment as he dosen’t remotely see them as a threat.. it’s utterly chilling as it is heartbreakiing and horrifying. 

Naturally Anne and Sasha are upset, Sasha a bit baffled and Anne just utterly broken by this: She’d already been betrayed TWICE by the other love of her life.. now MARCY had betrayed her.. and WORSE? 

And it only gets worse as Marcy heartbreakingly reveals her motivation and what this was really all about: Her dad announced he got a new job and they were moving a state away.. and like I said he’s a prick. Not for moving, that happens and it sucks but for having no freaking empathy about it. Maybe if he took a parenting class earth wouldn’t be on the cusp of a robot invasion. Marcy was about to loose her girls and was desperate.... so naturally Andrias claimed to simply want to take them all with him on his journeys, obviously leading out the conquest and likely genocide part, so they could go on and on FOREVER. And this whole thing gave Anne the plantars so it’s not all bad right? Right? But it’s clear she’s trying to desperatly lie to herself this was all okay as she’s been doing ever since she started this all 8 months ago and Anne pointing out she misses her family, something Marcy never considered given her own reasons for leaving and how Sasha likely dosen’t have a happy family life herself. 

This.. this is Haley Tju’s finest hour. She’s done good voice work before, especially in this series but here, with Marcy’s anguish, desperation and guilt all leaking out as she tries to get her girlfriend not to turn away from her. it’s all just amazing heartbreaking stuff and I salute her and the animation does her fine acting a service and shows every bit of pain in the poor girls face. 

Anne naturally does turn away a bit and Marcy cries.. but Anne quickly recovers... while she obviously isn’t entirely ready to forgive Marcy JUST yet, it’s clear she wasn’t thinking straight and did all of this out of desperation... and that the hulking dickbag who betrayed them all and is gloating about all of this manipulated her, preying on her desperation and anguish to finish his plan.  Marcy fucked up big time, no question.. but ANDRIAS is the true monster here, and if he’s not stopped this world she’s grown to love and the one she left behind will BURN. Anne may be many things: impulsive, kinda weird, easy to anger.. but she is over all that a HERO. And there’s a villian to stop

Andrias, while not seeing them as remotely a threat, does admit this will probably be fun and the fight begins, with our heroes, including Marcy, easily besting the Obsdian Swarm.. as i’m calling them now. It’s a cools equence.. but ultimately futile. Andrias is FAR more powerful than he’s let on with the box. And shows it off by destroying toad tower before coming at them with a fire sowrd, easily swatting them aside like flies. They try their best to fight back but it’s not much use, and Andrias NEARLY crushes polly to death under his fist. Yes a fucking child. What a dick. 

Frobo saves him... and sadly this is the end for our new friend as Andrias is mildly amused that one of his creations glitched.. then smashes him into robotic paste. Polly rightfully calls him a monster and his response is as chilling as it is wonderfully dickish: “Don’t worry, your next”. 

Thankfully though she got out of the way.. because she has LEGS now. It’s also why I keep saying 8 months, though it’s likely more like 9 given it took a month to get to newtopia: 

The prophecy has come true! And while she stumbles for a second Polly quickly proves she can really move, she has an attitude and she’s the fastest thing alive by grabbing the box seemingly winning.. except Andrias has sprig in his fist and is going to crush or drop him ulness she stops. And despite Sprig BEGGING his sister to let him go for the sake of everyone else, like any good hero she naturally puts the box back. 

Anne begs for him to let Sprig go since he got what he wanted and he’s her best friend in this or any world... but all this does is insprie Andrias to DROP HIM OUT A WINDOW, bitter over his own past and eager to torture her some more. This really shows off who Andrias REALLY is now the mask is off; a sadistic tyrannical bully who relishes in making his victims really squirm, revels in malevolence and is just so damn gleeful about it: Not to say BIll Cipher levels more of a cold, cruel enjoyment of things. 

As I said earlier Keith David makes a motherfucking Seven Course Meal out of the second half of this episode, utterly stealing the show now he can play Andrias as he truly is: not skulng in the shadows with ominus hints he’s evil or pretending to be nice, but instead as a sadistic brute who delights in suffering and wants nothing less than everything under his boothill. in short he’s an AWESOME antagonist and while Keith David has played TREMENDOUS villains before, this one will easily be his best if the writing holds. Andrias is Keith David at his fucking best and proves the Disney legend has EVEYRTHING left in the tank even as he approaches 70′s. Jesus I fucking love this man. 

So this causes anne to retreat into herself, leaving us in a black void as Anne remembers all the good times.. and goes MOTHERFUCKING SUPER SAYIAN. Well more accurately super sayian god super sayian, or blueper sayian if you will, but still i’ts a n utterly striking sequence and a clear direct shout out with Anne getting her powers the same way Goku did: loosing someone to an utterly cruel bastard. Same with Gohan’s upgrade to super sayian 2. It’s just a truly striking sequence as she powers up in a FULL rage, DEMANDNIG he give him back. 

Andrais is stunned, clearly knowing this was something she was capable of but thought she could no longer do as the box shoudlv’e drained her of the ablility, while Hop Pop and Grime wonder if this is a human thing. 

So Anne WAILS on the fucker, easily besting a shocked andrias despite his best attempts.. but she tires out and he swats her aside, gleefully noting she dosen’t know how to control it. Sprig turns out to be okay though. Marcy went and saved him while Anne was rippig Andrias asunder.. and then activates the box. Sasha and Grime hold him off while Anne makes a run for it with the plantars while Andrias gives out your standard villian big no. Anne and Fam make it... but Marcy is taking a sec.. and that second gets her GUTTED. Not an exageration or me being a smart ass like usual.. Andrias RAN HER THROUGH WITH HIS SWORD. 

His only response is “Look what you made me too and Anne and crew are warped away, unable to save her. 

So we end with our heroes landing somewhere and Sprig wondering where they are... where they are is on the top of a car on a busy Los Angeles Freeway... and in front of two very weirded out humans. Anne is home. 

So now for the part that wasn’t in the original release apparently: The teaser.. aka THE MOTHERFUCKING SEASON 3 OPENING. 

Hell. Yes. Just a few quick personal notes before we hit the wrap up: I love how the season will be on earth, a nice change of pace, how the Boonchuy’s have very clearly warmly welcomed the plantars, the expanded cast at the title card, and how Disney just let them go ALL out for this one. They’ve clearly stopped being cheap assholes when it comes to letting intro’s change or at the very least got this was the very end of the series and thus important enough to gussie up. But yes the end is nigh.. and probably not till late this year if this year AT ALL And I will return for it. Well return to doing this show anyway, i’m not going anywhere. They’ll have to pry this blog from my cold dead hands. 

Final Thoughts:

This episode is the series best so far. My only honest complaint is the Toad Invasion comes and goes really quickly and I question why it was crammed into half the episode. Don’t get me wrong, Andrias’ rise needed the full 10 minutes, but I question why we dind’t get an episode before this settingit up and THEN have it happen over half an episode, epsecially since we spent an entire episode on getting the other toad barons involved only for ONE of them to show up for all of five minutes. 

Otherwise though? Yeah no notes. The cast is at the top of their damn game, with Brenda Song, Hailey Tju and Keith Motherfucking David as the standouts, the animatoin is likewise, and it pays off a thing or two you wouldn’t expect like the acting episode. This is a truly outstanding finale, one that has now joined other all time faviorite season finales such as “You’re In Control”, “Reunited”, “The Crossroads of Destiny”, and “Moonvasion”. I will be watching this again when it comes to Disney Plus. Masterful stuff.

As for the season as a whole.. this was a great season. While it did start a bit rocky with the road trip arc, which I’m still not a huge fan of as I feel it mostly wasted an awesome idea of them going on a world spanning roadtrip with some fairly weak episodes, with the exception of standouts “Truckstop Polly” and “Wax Museum”. 

But once we got to Netwopia it got better, with better spotlight episodes, the pacing picking up and Marcy joining our merry crew. And it hit it’s peak with the second half of the season: the return to wartwood effortlessly combined slice of life with the compelling temple episodes. It was also a nice break before the utter hell that arrived in the finale, but still nicely lead up to said finale.  This season may of STARTED bumpy but it finished at it’s highest point and with one epic finale to go it’s only going to get better from here. 

As for this blog the same holds true: Review wise next week i’ll be taking a break from normal reviews to do a week’s worth of Goofy based content in time for his birthday, from shorts, to goof troop, to hosue of mouse, to an obscure special, all leading up to the Disney Classic A Goofy Movie. So stick around.

And if that dosen’t do it for you I have an ongoing retrospective on the story arcs of ducktales season 2, i’m nearing the end of one on Scott Pilgrim and in the middle of one of The Life and Times of Scrogoe McDuck. and if you prefer weekly reviews, as I mentioned earlier offhandidly i’ll be covering the Owl House! LIke Amphibia i’m starting with Season 2, but just like with this show i’m excited as all hell and hope you’ll join me. And if you need even more I have a patreon, patreon.com/popculturebuffet, where I have exclusive reviews if you choose to back me as well as exciting stretch goals, one of which down the line is reviewing season one of this very show. So join it and if not that’s okay too, either way.. it’s been a pleasure. 

[prettyboyjackhughes]

-Draft Day- |J. Hughes|

“Char, you know as soon as they announce his name, you’re the first person he’ll try to find.” Trev says, messing with his tie. Tonight was the 1st night of the NHL draft. Jack is expected to go number one, Trev and Alex not far after. I was super excited for all of them but I wasn’t able to be in 3 places to sit with all of them. Trev and I had shared every little thing since we were born, might as well share this too.

“Well good thing he’s not that far away.” Jack says, turning around and smiling at me. Alex and Madi are in the row behind us. Madi and I had gone shopping for draft dresses a few weeks ago. I had bought a gray, short, off the shoulder sweater body con dress. Madi’s dress was a black, short body con dress with puff sleeves. She had paired her’s with nude heels and I had worn mine with black knee high heeled boots that made me almost as tall as Jack. Jack was wearing a blue suit with red stripes and a red and blue checkered tie. Trev had on a black suit with a light blue tie. Alex’s suit is my favorite. It’s light gray with a navy blue tie. Jack turns around and looks at me again.

“Trev’s right though. You’re the first one I’m looking for. So you’d better be ready to kiss me.” I laugh and lean in to kiss him.

“Baby baby! Not yet! I don’t want lipstick on my face when I get called up!” I roll my eyes and lean back in my seat, crossing my legs, my dress sliding up apparently too far for Jack and my brother’s comfort.

“Seriously Char? Pull it down!” Jack says loudly. Luke laughs and looks back at me.

“For real Charlie! No one wants to see that!” Trev says, pulling my skirt down for me. I roll my eyes and Madi laughs. The announcer comes on and asks everyone to take their seats and I reach over, taking Trev’s hand.

“Welcome to the 2019 National Hockey League Draft. Our first draft will be from the New Jersey Devils.” Jack shifts anxiously in his seat and Trev reaches down with his free hand to pat his shoulder.

“With the first pick overall, The New Jersey Devils are proud to select, from the U.S. program, Jack Hughes.” Jack stands up, the biggest grin I’ve ever seen on his face. He immediately turns around and almost falls over the chairs, reaching for me. I stand up and step towards him. Our lips connect and I can feel the smile on his face. After a few seconds, he pulls away. He hugs the whole Hughes family, Turcs, Trev, and Madi, and then makes his way to the stage. He had left his suit jacket on the back of his chair; leaving him in just his button up shirt. It hugs his upper body and arms in all the right places and shows off the muscles he’s worked extremely hard to get.

“Damn, he looks good in red.” I say, leaning back and patting Madi’s knee as Jack pulls the number 19 Devils jersey over his head, his hair sticking up adorably. She laughs and we all sit, waiting for Alex’s and Trev’s names to be called. We politely clap for every guy drafted but all I can focus my mind on is the fact that my boyfriend got drafted number one overall and was gonna be playing in the NHL alongside my brother and his best friend. Along with what will happen after all this is over, what Jack and I will do when we get home. Jack’s parents and Dukes were all staying at Quinn’s apartment in downtown Vancouver. My parents and Alex’s parents were all at a hotel about 20 minutes away from Quinn’s apartment. But since this is a big couple weeks for the boys and they would be coming and going so frequently, the parents all pitched in and booked the 5 of us an Airbnb for the next 2 weeks. While Trev was the third wheel to both couples, I’ve been woken up by him sneaking a few girls out at 4 in the morning before he thinks we’re all awake.

“You’re gonna get hell from all the girls in love with him.” Trev says as they announce the 3rd pick. I shrug, not worried about it.

“They’re not the ones sleeping with him at night. I am.” I say, smirking and laughing. Madi high fives me and I flip my hair.

“Wow, real humble aren’t we, Char?” Alex says, shifting in his seat and putting his arm around Madi’s waist. I smile and Alex gently tugs a chunk of my hair. .

“And with the fifth overall pick, the Los Angeles Kings select, from the U.S. National Development Program, Alex Turcotte.” Alex stands up and pulls Madi up with him. He pecks her on the cheek, not locking lips like Jack and I did. He hugs Trev, his parents and then reaches for me. I stand up, hug him and whisper in his ear.

“I’m so proud of you Turcs, love you.” He smiles and heads down to the stage.

“Madi that’s your boy!” I laugh as she snaps pictures of him.

“I feel like a proud mom!” She says, smiling. Trev’s gotten quiet during the last few minutes. I nudge him, waiting for a response as he stares at his phone.

“Huh? Oh I’m okay. Just, taking it all in.” I can see in his eyes he’s off but I’m not sure why. The management at the Anaheim Ducks had talked to him a while back and had mentioned if he was still there when it came their turn to pick, they’d take him. He was happy about that, since that meant he and Alex would both be out in California, but it also meant he didn’t really have anything to worry about. He’d be getting picked in the first round no matter what.

“And with the ninth overall pick, the Anaheim Ducks are proud to select, from the U.S. National Program, Trevor Zegras.” Trev looks up, almost shocked to hear his own name. He stands up, a goofy grin on his face. I stand with him, pulling him into a hug.

“Trev, I’m so proud of you! This is our dream! Now go!” He pulls away and goes to Mom and Dad, pulling them both into a hug. He finally escapes the row and heads down the stairs to the stage, the big grin never leaving his face. I take a Snapchat of him pulling the Anaheim jersey over his head and shaking hands with the general manager. I caption it ‘Proud of my Bubs❤️’ and post it. Soon, after what seems like hours of watching boy after boy get called up, teammate after teammate of the boys getting drafted, we are finally dismissed and get to go meet up with the boys. We head to the family waiting area and see the boys, all huddled in a group, waiting for us. Madi and I take turns hugging each of them. Jack suddenly pulls me away and kisses me. He kisses me, tongue automatically slipping into my mouth. After what seemed like no time, he pulled away.

“Sorry, I had to finish that from earlier. But anyways, the boys wanna go out. But we don’t have to. I know we had...plans.” He says, very obviously squeezing my ass as his arm sneaks around my waist. I smirk as I see Trev’s face, who obviously saw what Jack did. Surprisingly, he doesn’t come to say anything.

“I’d rather go home. I’m kinda tired plus, I really want it.” I say, “accidentally” brushing my hand against the inside of Jack’s thigh as I turn around to face him. Trev sees that too and finally does come over.

“Seriously you two! What is your deal? Our parents are literally right there! Why not just walk over and tell them you’re leaving to go have sex?” He says, attempting to keep his voice quiet but Madi and Alex still hear and excuse themselves from Alex’s parents, making their way over to us.

“Good lord Trev, keep your voice down! Besides, we all know you’ve been texting some girl all night trying to get her to come hook up with you when y’all go out.” Alex says, elbowing Trev. His face flames red and I almost want to put an end to the embarrassment he’s suffering on his big night but after what he said, I decide not to.

“Okay no need to expose me like that and it was one, okay two girls. So leave me alone.” He says, crossing his arms. We all laugh and Trev’s signature grin returns to his face.

“Okay kids, I need pictures.” Alex’s mom says, coming over and bursting our little bubble. Jack’s hand, which was safely in mine somehow escapes and travels back down to its original place. I roll my eyes and elbow him in the side. His hand goes away and instead, he wraps his arms around my shoulders. He’s going through a phase where he always has to be touching me, no matter how. From his hand in mine to playing with my hair, he’s always touching me. And I’m 100% okay with it.

“I want the boys first then we can do the couples and Charlie and Trev.” Turcs’ mom is a family photographer and really successful in Island Lake, where they’re from. Jack is in the middle, Alex on his left, Trev on his right. They all have the most genuine smiles on their faces. I pull Madi over to the giant NHL draft logo on the wall and we take a few selfies in front of it.

“Charlie, you know that boy is in love with you, right?” She says, glancing up at Jack and nudging me. I look up and catch him staring. I smile and he winks. My stomach drops and I get butterflies.

“Yeah I know, Mads. And I’m in love with him.” I say, smiling and hugging my best friend.

[dreamsofzane]

Origins

It was 2009. The end of my senior year in high school. As per tradition, once I received my yearbook, I carried it around daily so that teachers, friends, and anyone else who felt like it could sign the back and crystalize their presence in my life.

We were all stepping out into the relative unknown. I guess I just had to be deep, so I used my yearbook photo caption as a declaration of how I saw myself and who I wanted to become in the world.

I can do the impossible, rise above the insurmountable, and reach the unreachable through Christ who strengthens me. It was was an adaptation of a scripture used in a song by Myron Butler.

When our yearbooks were printed, a friend of mine said something like, wow Ezra I saw your yearbook quote and it was all spiritual and serious. You're so crazy, I thought you would have put something wild in there.

I probably laughed, pondered on the sentiment for a bit, then tucked it away. But I never forgot it.

This moment was one of the first distinct times someone not only saw me clearly, but also perceived and verbalized the dilemma I existed in. It was a mirror moment for me. During that time I felt like I was straddling two conflicting worlds. And I so desperately wanted to fully belong to both. At home, I was a good Pentecostal storefront church boy in every sense of the word. I didn't see myself as just a church-goer. It was the essence of my life. It shaped my worldview. I was saved, and I yearned to be Holy Ghost filled. I barely had earthly aspirations. All I saw in my future was singing worship music. Maybe I'd go to Bible college and join a mega church's payroll, sing behind Israel Houghton, or somehow join Tye Tribbet & GA. Side-note for all my singers - that in itself was a pipe dream because to this day I am not a tenor, and back then even Tye's tenors were actually altos, very high-key.

On the other side of my double life, I secretly bagged my first real boyfriend right when I got baptized after freshman year. I loved all the secular music I wasn't supposed to be listening to. And just about every other joke that I made at school was something risqué and raunchy. That's how people outside of my family and church knew me.

I never really felt like I could be a whole person. I had no concept of what that meant. There was righteousness, and sin. Being in the world, but not of it. My feelings, my flesh – those were in conflict with God, and my job was to pick up my cross and deny everything else.

And baybee – those feelings?! My hormones were on fire and I wanted all the boys in my yard, watering my grass with milkshakes of every flavor. Because you know, high school was a diverse landscape. But if I didn't deny what I was feeling, back then I believed I would be riding the most lusciously, engorged, divinely-crafted – lawnmower, straight into Lucifer's hot burning bush as a result.

Over time the pressure to deny myself, built up so much that I had to leave the church and explore on my own. The years that followed felt solitary, ungrounded, and confusing to say the least. But I just had to allow myself to feel those things. And I'm so glad I did. I have to take a moment here to thank Bilal's All Matter & Who Are You, Erykah's Didn't Cha Know, and the movie Prayers for Bobby, for collectively forming a prayer circle around me during 2011-2012.

I could be projecting, but it's quite likely that the church adjacent boyfriends I've had over the years all lived with an unspoken heartbreak about having to either sever ties or awkwardly maneuver through their families of origin – families that were often times deeply religious, and thus explicitly, violently, and traumatically opposed our ability to even acknowledge our queerness – let alone claim it. But not one person I encountered who felt familiar to me (a trauma bond sort of familiar) seemed to really know what they were doing in earnest. Nor were they able to speak on it in full. Something always felt unreconciled. We were all young and unsure.

Ironically enough it was a moment during a church service that changed my life, affirmed me spiritually, and assured me that I had to leave the very home that raised me ideologically. More on this later.

What I will say now is that as hedonistic, irreverent, ignorant, or lost as I may appear to some – I was guided to where I am today. Perhaps because I opened myself up to it, the spirit world made itself known to me both within the settings I grew up in, and without.

I am the living result of generations of endurance. Love, grace and wisdom find their way to me. From the continent, to the island, to the concrete, through the altar call, through the divination. Somehow I continue to be found day by day.

BUT FIRST I HAD TO GET VERY LOST OKAY?!

Happy 30th Birthday to me!

Until next time – peace.

[calumance]

LA Devotee - Part XXI

Warnings: just a whole bunch of fluff, implications of sexy times

Word Count: 3.5k

Summary: Emily finally makes time to fly out to Calum while he’s on tour. Her true feeling slowly starting to eat away at her.

A/N: OOF it’s been a long time since I update this. I’m so sorry it took me this long, I’ve been struggling with wanting to update it or not. I’m updating it for the one anon who said they love this series. This one’s for you baby cakes. ❤️❤️ Feedback and requests are always welcomed! (Want to be notified when I post more of my writing? Let me know!)

Masterlist

donate to my ko-fi? 🥰

           You know when you’re excited for something and it makes everything else seem completely insignificant and that everything in moving in slow motion? That’s how my week went. By the time I got to Friday, the day I was leaving, it felt like it had been a year. Of course, Calum and I continued to take turns calling one another at ungodly times, but I was about to lose my mind. They weren’t kidding when they said time zones sucked. My flight leaves at five, and the clock on my computer at work said it was only noon. I dropped my head into my hands and sighed. Three more hours until Mikayla is taking me to the airport.

           My eyes barely left the clock for those three hours. Sure, I got work done, but the bare minimum. Once it was finally time, I packed everything up and met Mikayla outside of my office. My heart was racing as I nearly ran to her car with Mikayla following close behind me and my suitcase already in the back. As Mikayla drove, we went over my check list. I had my plane ticket, I had the name of the person who was picking me up once I landed, and I had everything I needed for a week out of the country. The tour had taken them to Paris, so I was flying into the Orly airport since it was closer to their hotel. In my head I did the math again. The flight is ten hours, which means I will land there at three in the morning LA time. Paris is nine hours ahead of Los Angeles which means I will land at noon Paris time. Which, according to Michael was plenty of time before they had to leave the hotel to get to the venue. “You’re lucky, you’re flying in the one day we don’t have to leave the hotel early. By the way, if I don’t meet you in the lobby, Ashton will. He’s much more of a morning person than the rest of us,” He told me yesterday when we solidified the plan.

           Mikayla dropped me off, hoping out of the car just long enough to help me grab my suitcase and give me a hug, telling me to have safe travels. It took very little time to check in and get my bag checked, probably the only good thing about taking a later flight. To keep my secret, and not have him call me while I was on a plane, or in the airport, I told him that I was hanging out with Mikayla tonight. I had told him that I had been feeling really lonely and needed someone to spend the night with me. He didn’t sound super thrilled about going a day without talking to me, but he agreed and understood. Before I headed to the gate my flight was leaving from, I stopped and got some food and some coffee. As I sat in the seat by the gate, I flicked my hair out of my face, and grabbed my phone.

           My eyebrows pulled together when I saw a notification from social media from Calum. My finger swiped through my phone to find the origin of the notification. There was a picture of us while we were laying out in the sun, a picture I took, but he obviously stole. The caption saying “My girl” with a heart emoji at the end. My heart fluttered and I double tapped the post to like it, then left a comment saying “My man” with a heart next to it. After closing out of the app, I scrolled through some other apps and sipped on my coffee while I waited for the flight to board. My heart jumping out of my chest when they announced that it was time to board. Once I found my seat, which thankfully was by the window, I put my headphones on and began the playlist that was going to help me get through this ten hour flight.

           Thankfully, I was able to sleep most of the flight. I was not ready to fight jetlag while I was here for only a week. I stared out the window as the plane started to descend quickly. I’ve always been that weird person that liked the feeling of their stomach jumping into their throat as the plane lands and pumps its brake, slowing as quickly as possible. It reminds me of a roller coaster as it suddenly comes to a screeching halt. The scenery around the airport was just like most airports, most of the city was off in the distance, but still visible. As the plane taxied to the gate, the pilot came over the intercom to announce the weather, and the time. All I cared about was I was finally in the same country as Calum, which meant I was just that much closer to being with him again.

           I kept my headphones in my ears as I walked through the airport, following the signs for baggage claim. As soon as I found the carousel that the baggage was coming from, I reached into my pocket and pulled out my phone, plugging in all of the things I need for it to work internationally. Once it was up and running, I received a text message from Ashton saying “Michael’s not awake yet, but I forced Calum to have breakfast with me, so he’s awake. According to the flight schedule you should have landed. Can’t wait to see you!” Just as I was about to respond, the carousel started moving and the luggage came out.

           Once I had my luggage, I followed the signs for passenger pick up and walked out, looking around for a gentleman named Carl holding a sign with my name on it. It didn’t take very long and once I found him and introduced myself to him, he smiled and took my bag from me. We walked together to the car where he generously put my suitcase in the back for me. Up until today, I had never been in a European car, so it was a bit interesting to have the steering wheel on the other side of the car. It was also slightly terrifying to drive on the other side of the road. As Carl drove, I pulled out my phone and shot Ashton a quick text message: “In the car with Carl, he said we should be there in about thirty minutes. See you soon!” A smile grew across my lips, one that I was sure I was not going to be able to erase until I saw Calum. Ashton texted back almost immediately: “I’ll be waiting!”

           There were a couple of reasons I wanted to keep my arrival a secret. One, because I wanted to surprise Calum. Two, he has made it clear that we are together, which I think would make people show up at the hotel. Now, I’m not anything special, but I’m going to guess that’s what would happen. Since only Michael and Ashton, maybe they told Luke, I wasn’t sure, knew, there was no one waiting outside the hotel. It made the arrival way better than when I went with Calum to the airport in Los Angeles. Carl pulled up in front of the hotel and helped pull my bag out of the back. He bid me a goodbye and I walked through the front doors of the hotel. As I walked in, I found Ashton sitting in a chair by the window, his sunglasses on, and his phone in his hand. When he heard the sliding doors of the hotel open, he looked up, a smile spreading across his face once he saw me. As he stood up, he slid his phone into his pocket, then walked toward me, quickly closing the space between us. He stretched his arms out and wrapped them around my neck, pulling me in for a hug. “I’m glad you got here safely. Did you sleep on the plane?” I nodded into his chest and he pulled me back. “Good, that’s the best way to combat jetlag.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a card. “We’re only here one more night, but I figured you should have a key as well.”

           As I took the key card from him, he motioned his head in the direction of the elevator. Ashton grabbed the handle of my suitcase and wheeled it behind him, “How did Calum feel about going to breakfast with you this morning?” I asked as he pressed the button to summon the elevator.

           Ashton laughed and ran his hand through his hair. “He was very unhappy that I forced him to go eat with me, he repeated to me that he didn’t sleep well last night about thirty times. He said he was going to take a nap before we left this afternoon, but I kept texting him to make sure he was awake.” Ashton laughed and the elevator dinged and the doors opened, “He’s probably really annoyed with me right now.” I laughed along with Ashton as we stepped into the elevator. Ashton pressed the button for the floor we were headed to and the elevator doors closed. As it started to move, I looked down at my feet and tucked my hair behind my ear. As excited as I was to surprise Calum, the further the elevator traveled, the more nervous I was becoming. It’s been two and a half months since we’ve seen each other in person. How was he going to react?

           The elevator came to a stop and Ashton grabbed my bag and started walking down the hallway. Soon, he stopped in front of a door and pointed at it. My heart was racing, but I nodded as if I was ready. Ashton knocked and then waited for a few seconds, leaning his right arm against the door frame. There wasn’t any noise coming from inside the room, and I suddenly felt horrible waking him up from his nap. Ashton tried knocking again, but again, there was nothing. With a slight eyeroll, Ashton pulled his phone out and called Calum, putting the call on speaker. “What is it, Ashton? I’m sleeping.” Calum’s voice was raspy, and I could tell that he indeed did not get much sleep.

           “Come open the door, I found something in the lobby that I think you should see.” Ashton smiled a coy grin and raised his eyebrows.

           Calum grumbled for a second, but finally said, “I’m coming.” Calum was way too nice to ever say no to Ashton, or anyone for that matter. Especially when it came to something they were excited about. My heart raced faster than it ever has. There were heavy footsteps on the other side of the door, then there was some fumbling noises with the locks. I held my breath as Calum opened the door. His eyes immediately landed on me, his eyes widening. There were no words spoken, just stares. He was wearing a white t-shirt and grey sweat pants, his hair was messy from sleeping. It was obvious he hadn’t found the energy to shower yet. I was still wearing the outfit I wore to work, and definitely needed a shower after sitting on a plane for ten hours.

           I went to raise my hand to wave at Calum, but Calum immediately placed his hands on either side of my face, pulling my lips to his in a needy kiss. A fire ignited in the pit of my stomach and I pushed Calum into his hotel room, Ashton pushed my suitcase just inside the door before it shut in his face. Just as my fingers started to reach under his shirt, gently grazing his skin, he let go of my lips and let out a quiet groan. “How did you get here?” He asked while he discarded my blazer on the chair in the corner of the room. His lips reattaching to mine as he bent down and grabbed the back of my legs. Once his fingers grabbed my thighs, I followed his movements and wrapped my legs around his waist.

           He carried me over to the bed and gently placed me on my back and disconnected our lips to pull his shirt over his head. “Michael helped me book a flight. I wanted to surprise you.” Once his shirt hit the floor, his lips found their way back to mine. As our lips moved together, his right hand moved under my shirt and over my stomach. It wasn’t until it started to trail upwards that I disconnected our lips to let out a pleasured sigh. While our lips were apart, he took the chance to pull my shirt over my head and tossed it to the side.

           As if it were instinct, his lips found my neck. He lips were warm and plump against my skin, my bottom lips finding its way between my teeth. Suddenly, he came back up and met my eyes, a smirk pulling at the corner of his mouth. “This is the best surprise I’ve ever gotten.” It wasn’t long until our bodies became one.

           Calum’s breath was still labored, but was beginning to slow. His arms were wrapped around me, and our legs were intertwined. My head rested on his chest, my fingertips grazing his skin as I drew shapes absent mindedly. His eyes were closed, but every so often he would press a gentle kiss to the top of my head. After a while of laying in silence, he finally mumbled, “How long do I have you for?”

           I lifted my head so I could see his face, and he opened an eye. “Seven whole days. My flight home is next Saturday night.” Calum smiled and opened his other eye before cupping my cheek with one hand and pressing a soft kiss to my lips. I repositioned my head and cuddled closer to Calum, his arms wrapping tighter around me.

           We laid there for a while before Calum looked at the time and groaned. “I have to get ready. We’re leaving for the venue in an hour. You’re coming with us, right?”

           I nodded against his chest, and then looked up at him. “I am glued to your side for the next seven days. Wherever you go, I go.”

           “Good.” He said pressing a kiss to my nose, causing my heart to flutter. “Want to take a shower with me?” After I nodded, we untangled ourselves and headed into the bathroom together. After we got out of the shower, Calum got ready using the mirror in the room, allowing me to have the bathroom. It didn’t take him much time to get ready since he usually gets ready for the show at the venue. However, I barely got ready in time, running out the door seconds after turning off my flatiron. Calum beat me to the elevator, but shot me a soft smile as I moved my hair out of my mouth. He pressed a kiss to my forehead and tucked my hair behind my ear. “I’m so happy you’re here.”

           After we stepped onto the elevator, I stood on my toes to press a kiss to Calum’s lips. “Me too.” When we made it to the lobby, the three boys were already waiting for us. Luke’s face when seeing me told me that the only two people who knew I was coming where Michael and Ashton. Luke wrapped his arms around me and hugged me tightly, telling me that it was “so great” to see me. Calum held onto my hand as we walked out of the hotel and to the car. He sat me on his right and put his arm around my shoulders after putting his backpack between his feet. As we drove toward the venue, the guys joked around, but I was too busy taking in the sights to join in the laughter.

           Calum must have noticed how I was looking at everything we drove past, because he chuckled and kissed the side of my head before saying, “We’ll do some touring tomorrow since we have a day off.” I grinned at him and nodded.

           When we got to the venue, there were already fans lining the sidewalk. Screams igniting as the car pulled into the lot by the backdoor of the venue. Once the car stopped, Calum popped open his door and hopped out, throwing his backpack over his left shoulder. He held the door open as I climbed out behind him. His hand pressed to my lower back as we walked into the venue together. Calum ushered me into their dressing room and then pointed to the couch that was pressed against the wall. As he dropped his backpack on the couch, I ran my hands up and down my thighs. “So, do you guys usually just hang out until show time?” Calum nodded and started to open his backpack. “Do you mind if I go walk around?”

           “Do you want me to come with you?” Calum asked, turning away from his backpack.

           “No, I’ll be back in a little bit, just going to waste sometime.” I smiled at him, walking backwards toward the door of the dressing room.

           Calum nodded, “Okay, just text me if you need me. I’ll be here.” I nodded and headed out the door into a hallway that had a few people running through it, helping to get everything set up. I followed the hallway and found myself backstage. Trying my best to stay out of everyone’s way, I made my way onto the stage and sat down at the front. My legs hanging over the edge. For a minute I looked around, admiring the architecture of the venue, but then pulled my phone out of my pocket. Mikayla was always an early riser, so hopefully she was awake by now. Whatever, I wanted to call her even if she wasn’t.

           “Emily! You made it alive I assume?” She sounded cheery and all around delightful.

           I chuckled, “I did. Calum was surprised, spent a good time in the hotel room before we left for the venue. He said they have a day off tomorrow, so he is going to take me touring. I’m pretty excited.” My cheeks felt hot as I thought about how much I adored him, and how deeply I was falling for him.

           “Have you told him yet?” Mikayla asked and my heart pounded.

           “No.” I said feeling slightly ashamed. My pointer finger running down the bridge of my nose. “I just got here. I want it to be the right time, you know?” She hummed in response and then she changed the subject. We continued to talk about what we normally talk about. It wasn’t until I noticed people started to flow into the venue that I pushed myself off the stage and quickly made my way back down through the hallways towards the dressing room. Right before I opened the door, I hung up the phone and slid it back into my pocket. When I walked through the door, Calum had a red cup in his hand, he had changed and his hair was styled.

           I couldn’t take my eyes off him. His smile grew across his face as he walked towards me, wrapping his arm around my shoulder, then pressing a soft kiss to my lips. “I love being able to kiss you before a show.” He sat his drink on the table next to us and tucked my hair behind my ear, his cold fingers causing my hairs to stand on end. His lips pressed against mine, my hands balling his shirt into my fists. He smiled against my lips and he couldn’t help but chuckle. “Maybe I shouldn’t kiss you, might get myself too worked up.” I let out a chuckle as well and pulled away from him. Biting my lip and rubbing my hand up and down my arm. Just as we let go of each other, Michael pulled Calum away as they started their pre-show routine.

           The show director opened the door and pulled the guys to the stage. Calum grabbed my hand and intertwined his fingers with mine. He let go of my hand so he could put his bass over his shoulder, pushing it to his back so he could put his in-ear monitors into his ear. The count down for them to get on the stage started and he grabbed my face and planted a hasty kiss to my lips. After he pulled away and the countdown ended, I wished him good luck and he walked up the stairs and onto the stage. I made sure I was the last one to stand in the wing of the stage, but able to watch him, every once in a while catching a wink from him. Watching him perform made my heart flutter. I chewed on my bottom lip and looked down at my feet, it was starting to hurt holding in how much I loved him.

************

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[letterboxd]

Best of Sundance 2021.

From pandemic-era stories, via portraits of grief, to the serendipitous 1969 trilogy, the Letterboxd crew recaps our favorite films from the first major festival of the year.

Sundance heralds a new season of storytelling, with insights into what’s concerning filmmakers at present, and what artistic innovations may be on the horizon. As with every film festival, there were spooky coincidences and intersecting themes, whether it was a proliferation of pandemic-era stories, or extraordinary portraits of women working through grief (Land, Hive, The World to Come), or the incredible serendipity of the festival’s ‘1969 trilogy’, covering pivotal moments in Black American history: Summer of Soul (...Or When the Revolution Could Not Be Televised), Judas and the Black Messiah and the joyful Street Gang: How We Got to Sesame Street.

The hybrid model of this year’s Sundance meant more film lovers across the United States—a record number of you, in fact—‘attended’ the prestigious indie showcase. Our Festiville team (Gemma Gracewood, Aaron Yap, Ella Kemp, Selome Hailu, Jack Moulton and Dominic Corry) scanned your Letterboxd reviews and compared them with our notes to arrive at these seventeen feature-length documentary and narrative picks from Sundance 2021. There are plenty more we enjoyed, but these are the films we can’t stop thinking about.

Documentary features

Summer of Soul (...Or, When the Revolution Could Not Be Televised) Directed by Ahmir-Khalib Thompson (AKA Questlove)

One hot summer five decades ago, there was a free concert series at a park in Harlem. It was huge, and it was lovely, and then it was forgotten. The Harlem Cultural Festival of 1969 brought together some of the world’s most beloved Black artists to connect with Black audiences. The star power and the size of the crowds alone should have been enough to immortalize the event à la Woodstock—which happened the same summer, the film emphasizes. But no one cared to buy up the footage until Ahmir-Khalib Thompson, better known as Questlove, came along.

It would have been easy to oversimplify such a rich archive by stringing together the performances, seeking out some talking heads, and calling it a day. But Questlove was both careful and ebullient in his approach. “Summer of Soul is a monumental concert documentary and a fantastic piece of reclaimed archived footage. There is perhaps no one better suited to curate this essential footage than Questlove, whose expertise and passion for the music shines through,” writes Matthew on Letterboxd. The film is inventive with its use of present interviews, bringing in both artists and attendees not just to speak on their experiences, but to react to and relive the footage. The director reaches past the festival itself, providing thorough social context that takes in the moon landing, the assassinations of Black political figures, and more. By overlapping different styles of documentary filmmaking, Questlove’s directorial debut embraces the breadth and simultaneity of Black resilience and joy. A deserving winner of both the Grand Jury and Audience awards (and many of our unofficial Letterboxd awards). —SH

Flee Directed by Jonas Poher Rasmussen

Flee is the type of discovery Sundance is designed for. Danish documentarian Jonas Poher Rasmussen tells the poignant story of his close friend and former classmate (using the pseudonym ‘Amin Nawabi’) and his daring escape from persecution in 1990s Afghanistan. Rasmussen always approaches tender topics with sensitivity and takes further steps to protect his friend’s identity by illustrating the film almost entirely in immersive animation, following in the footsteps of Waltz With Bashir and Tower. It’s a film aware of its subjectivity, allowing the animated scenes to alternate between the playful joy of nostalgia and the mournful pain of an unforgettable memory. However, these are intercepted by dramatic archive footage that oppressively brings the reality home.

“Remarkably singular, yet that is what makes it so universal,” writes Paul. “So many ugly truths about the immigration experience—the impossible choices forced upon people, and the inability to really be able to explain all of it to people in your new life… You can hear the longing in his voice, the fear in his whisper. Some don’t get the easy path.” Winner of the World Cinema (Documentary) Grand Jury Prize and quickly acquired by Neon, Flee is guaranteed to be a film you’ll hear a lot about for the rest of 2021. —JM

Taming the Garden Directed by Salomé Jashi

There’s always a moment at a film festival when fatigue sets in, when the empathy machine overwhelms, and when I hit that moment in 2021, I took the advice of filmmaker and Sundance veteran Jim Cummings, who told us: “If you’re ever stressed or tired, watch a documentary to reset yourself.” Taming the Garden wasn’t initially on my hit-list, but it’s one of those moments when the ‘close your eyes and point at a random title’ trick paid off. Documentary director Salomé Jashi does the Lorax’s work, documenting the impact and grief caused by billionaire former Georgian PM Bidzina Ivanishvili’s obsession with collecting ancient trees for his private arboretum.

“A movie that is strangely both infuriating and relaxing” writes Todd, of the long, locked-off wide shots showing the intense process of removing large, old trees from their village homes. There’s no narration, instead Jashi eavesdrops on locals as they gossip about Ivanishvili, argue about whether the money is worth it, and a feisty, irritated 90-year-old warns of the impending environmental fallout. “What you get out of it is absolutely proportional to what you put into it,” writes David, who recommends this film get the IMAX treatment. It’s arboriculture as ASMR, the timeline cleanse my Sundance needed. The extraordinary images of treasured trees being barged across the sea will become iconic. —GG

The Most Beautiful Boy in the World Directed by Kristian Petri and Kristina Lindström

Where Taming the Garden succeeds through pure observation, The Most Beautiful Boy in the World relies on the complete participation of its title subject, actor Björn Andrésen, who was thrust into the spotlight as a teenager. Cast by Italian director Lucino Visconti in Death in Venice, a 1971 adaptation of Thomas Mann’s novella about obsession and fatal longing, Andrésen spent the 1970s as an object of lust, with a side-gig as a blonde pop star in Japan, inspiring many manga artists along the way.

As we know by now (Alex Winter’s Showbiz Kids is a handy companion to this film), young stardom comes at a price, one that Andrésen was not well-placed to pay even before his fateful audition for Visconti. But he’s still alive, still acting (he’s Dan in Midsommar), and ready to face the mysteries of his past. Like Benjamin Ree’s excellent The Painter and the Thief from last year, this documentary is a constantly unfolding detective story, notable for great archive footage, and a deep kindness towards its reticent yet wide-open subject. —GG

All Light, Everywhere Directed by Theo Anthony

Threading the blind spots between Étienne-Jules Marey’s 19th-century “photographic rifle”, camera-carrying war pigeons and Axon’s body-cam tech, Theo Anthony’s inquisitive, mind-expanding doc about the false promise of the all-seeing eye is absorbing, scary, urgent. It’s the greatest Minority Report origin story you didn’t know you needed.

Augmented by Dan Deacon’s electronic soundscapes and Keaver Brenai’s lullingly robotic narration, All Light, Everywhere proves to be a captivating, intricately balanced experience that Harris describes as “one part Adam Curtis-esque cine-essay”, “one part structural experiment in the vein of Koyaanisqatsi” and “one part accidental character study of two of the most familiar yet strikingly unique evil, conservative capitalists…”. Yes, there’s a tremendous amount to download, but Anthony’s expert weaving, as AC writes, “make its numerous subjects burst with clarity and profundity.” For curious cinephiles, the oldest movie on Letterboxd, Jules Jenssen’s Passage de Vénus (1874), makes a cameo. —AY

The Sparks Brothers Directed by Edgar Wright

Conceived at a Sparks gig in 2017 upon the encouragement of fellow writer-director Phil Lord, Edgar Wright broke his streak of riotous comedies with his first (of many, we hope) rockumentary. While somewhat overstuffed—this is, after all, his longest film by nearly fifteen minutes—The Sparks Brothers speaks only to Wright’s unrestrained passion for his art-pop Gods, exploring all the nooks and crannies of Sparks’ sprawling career, with unprecedented access to brothers and bandmates Ron and Russell Mael.

Nobody else can quite pin them down, so Wright dedicates his time to put every pin in them while he can, building a mythology and breaking it down, while coloring the film with irresistible dives into film history, whimsically animated anecdotes and cheeky captions. “Sparks rules. Edgar Wright rules. There’s no way this wasn’t going to rule”, proclaims Nick, “every Sparks song is its own world, with characters, rules, jokes and layers of narrative irony. What a lovely ode to a creative partnership that was founded on sticking to one’s artistic guns, no matter what may have been fashionable at the time.” —JM

Narrative features

The Pink Cloud Written and directed by Iuli Gerbase

The Pink Cloud is disorienting and full of déjà vu. Brazilian writer-director Iuli Gerbase constructs characters that are damned to have to settle when it comes to human connection. Giovana and Yago’s pleasant one-night stand lasts longer than expected when the titular pink cloud emerges from the sky, full of a mysterious and deadly gas that forces everyone to stay locked where they stand. Sound familiar? Reserve your groans—The Pink Cloud wasn’t churned out to figure out “what it all means” before the pandemic is even over. Gerbase wrote and shot the film prior to the discovery of Covid-19.

It’s “striking in its ability to prophesize a pandemic and a feeling unknown at the time of its conception. What was once science fiction hits so close now,” writes Sam. As uncanny as the quarantine narrative feels, what’s truly harrowing is how well the film predicts and understands interiorities that the pandemic later exacerbated. Above all, Giovana is a woman with unmet needs. She is a good partner, good mother and good person even when she doesn’t want to be. Even those who love her cannot see how their expectations strip her of her personhood, and the film dares to ask what escape there might be when love itself leaves you lonely. —SH

Together Together Written and directed by Nikole Beckwith

Every festival needs at least one indie relationship dramedy, and Together Together filled that role at Sundance 2021 with a healthy degree of subversion. It follows rom-com structure while ostensibly avoiding romance, instead focusing on how cultivating adult friendships can be just hard, if not harder.

Writer-director Nikole Beckwith warmly examines the limits of the platonic, and Patti Harrison and Ed Helms are brilliantly cast as the not-couple: a single soon-to-be father and the surrogate carrying his child. They poke at each other’s boundaries with a subtle desperation to know what makes a friendship appropriate or real. As Jacob writes: “It’s cute and serious, charming without being quirky. It’s a movie that deals with the struggle of being alone in this world, but offers a shimmer of hope that even if you don’t fall in fantastical, romantic, Hollywood love… there are people out there for you.” —SH

Hive Written and directed by Blerta Basholli

Hive, for some, may fall into the “nothing much happens” slice-of-life genre, but Blerta Basholli’s directorial debut holds an ocean of pain in its small tale, asking us to consider the heavy lifting that women must always do in the aftermath of war. As Liz writes, “Hive is not just a story about grief and trauma in a patriarchy-dominated culture, but of perseverance and the bonds created by the survivors who must begin to consider the future without their husbands.”

Yllka Gashi is an understated hero as Fahrjie, a mother-of-two who sets about organizing work for the women of her village, while awaiting news of her missing husband—one of thousands unaccounted for, years after the Kosovo War has ended. The townsmen have many opinions about how women should and shouldn’t mourn, work, socialize, parent, drive cars and, basically, get on with living, but Fahrjie persists, and Basholli sticks close with an unfussy, tender eye. “It felt like I was a fly on the wall, witnessing something that was actually happening,” writes Arthur. Just as in Robin Wright’s Land and Mona Fastvold’s The World to Come, Hive pays off in the rare, beaming smile of its protagonist. —GG

On the Count of Three Directed by Jerrod Carmichael, written by Ari Katcher and Ryan Welch

It starts with an image: two best friends pointing guns at each other’s heads. There’s no anger, there’s no hatred—this is an act of merciful brotherly love. How do you have a bleak, gun-totin’ buddy-comedy in 2021 and be critically embraced without contradicting your gun-control retweets or appearing as though your film is the dying embers of Tarantino-tinged student films?

Comedian Jerrod Carmichael’s acerbic directorial debut On the Count of Three achieves this by calling it out every step of the way. Guns are a tool to give insecure men the illusion of power. They are indeed a tool too terrifying to trust in the hands of untrained citizens. Carmichael also stars, alongside Christopher Abbott, who has never been more hilarious or more tragic, bringing pathos to a cathartic rendition of Papa Roach’s ‘Last Resort’. Above all, Carmichael and Abbott’s shared struggle and bond communicates the millennial malaise: how can you save others if you can’t save yourself? “Here’s what it boils down to: life is fucking hard”, Laura sums up, “and sometimes the most we can hope for is to have a best friend who loves you [and] to be a best friend who loves. It doesn’t make life any easier, but it sure helps.” Sundance 2021 is one for the books when it comes to documentaries, but On the Count of Three stands out in the fiction lineup this year. —JM

Censor Directed by Prano Bailey-Bond, written by Bailey-Bond and Anthony Fletcher

The first of several upcoming films inspired by the ‘video nasty’ moral panic over gory horror in mid-’80s Britain, Prano Bailey-Bond leans heavily into both the period and the genre in telling the story of a film censor (a phenomenal Niamh Algar—vulnerable and steely at the same time) who begins to suspect a banned movie may hold the key to her sister’s childhood disappearance. Often dreamlike, occasionally phantasmagorical and repeatedly traumatic, even if the worst gore presented (as seen in the impressively authentic fictional horrors being appraised) appears via a screen, providing a welcome degree of separation.

Nevertheless, Censor is definitely not for the faint of heart, but old-school horror aficionados will squeal with delight at the aesthetic commitment. “I’m so ecstatic that horror is in the hands of immensely talented women going absolutely batshit in front of and behind the camera.” writes Erik. (Same here!) “A great ode to the video-nasty era and paying tribute to the great horror auteurs of the ’80s such as Argento, De Palma and Cronenberg while also doing something new with the genre. Loved this!” writes John, effectively encapsulating Censor’s unfettered film-nerd appeal. —DC

CODA Written and directed by Siân Heder

A film so earnest it shouldn’t work, with a heart so big it should surely not fit the size of the screen, CODA broke records (the first US dramatic film in Sundance history to win all three top prizes; the 25-million-dollar sale to Apple Studios), and won the world over like no other film. “A unique take on something we’ve seen so much,” writes Amanda, nailing the special appeal of Siân Heder’s coming-of-ager and family portrait. Emilia Jones plays Ruby, the only hearing person in her deaf family, at war between the family business and her passion for singing. While Heder is technically remaking the French film La Famille Bélier, the decision to cast brilliant deaf actors—Troy Kotsur, Marlee Matlin and Daniel Durant—makes this feel brand new.

But it’s not just about representation for the sake of it. A sense of authenticity, in humor as much as affection, shines through. With a script that’s 40 per cent ASL, so many of the jokes are visual gags, poking fun at Tinder and rap music, but a lot of the film’s most poignant moments are silent as well. And in Ruby’s own world, too, choir kids will feel seen. “I approve of this very specific alto representation and the brilliant casting of the entire choir,” Laura confirms in her review. Come for the fearless, empathetic family portrait, stay for the High School Musical vibes that actually ring true. —EK

We’re All Going to the World’s Fair Written and directed by Jane Schoenbrun

Perhaps the most singular addition to the recent flurry of Extremely Online cinema—Searching, Spree, Host, et al—Jane Schoenbrun’s feature debut ushers the viewer into a haunted, hypno-drone miasma of delirium-inducing YouTube time-suck, tenebrous creepypasta lore and painfully intimate webcam confessionals. Featuring an extraordinarily unaffected, fearless performance by newcomer Anna Cobb, the film “unpacks the mythology of adolescence in a way that’s so harrowingly familiar and also so otherworldly”, writes Kristen. Not since Kiyoshi Kurosawa’s Pulse has there been such an eerily lonely, and at times strangely beautiful, evocation of the liminal spaces between virtual and real worlds.

For members of the trans community, it’s also a work that translates that experience to screen with uncommon authenticity. “What Schoenbrun has accomplished with the form of We’re All Going to the World’s Fair is akin to catching a wisp of smoke,” writes Willow, “because the images, mood and aesthetic that they have brought to life is one that is understood completely by trans people as one of familiarity, without also plunging into the obvious melodrama, or liberal back-patting that is usually associated with ‘good’ direct representation.” One of the most original, compelling new voices to emerge from Sundance this year. —AY

Judas and the Black Messiah Directed by Shaka King, written by King, Will Berson, Kenneth Lucas and Keith Lucas

It was always going to take a visionary, uncompromising filmmaker to bring the story of Fred Hampton, the deputy chairman of the national Black Panther Party, to life. Shaka King casts Daniel Kaluuya as Hampton, and LaKeith Stanfield as William “Wild Bill” O’Neal, the FBI informant whose betrayal leads to Hampton’s assassination. Both actors have never been better, particularly Kaluuya who Fran Hoepfner calls “entrancing, magnetic, fizzling, romantic, riveting, endlessly watchable.”

Judas and the Black Messiah is an electric, involving watch: not just replaying history by following a certain biopic template. Instead, it’s a film with something to say—on power, on fear, on war and on freedom. “Shaka King’s name better reverberate through the halls of every studio after this,” writes Demi. A talent like this, capable of framing such a revolution, doesn’t come around so often. We’d better listen up. —EK

Pleasure Directed by Ninja Thyberg, written by Thyberg and Peter Modestij

A24’s first purchase of 2021. Ironically titled on multiple levels, Pleasure is a brutal film that you endure more than enjoy. But one thing you can’t do is forget it. Ninja Thyberg’s debut feature follows a young Swedish woman (Sofia Kappel) who arrives in Los Angeles with dreams of porn stardom under the name ‘Bella Cherry’. Although Bella is clear-eyed about the business she’s getting into, Thyberg doesn’t shy away from any of the awfulness she faces in order to succeed in an industry rife with exploitation and abuse. Bella does make allies, and the film isn’t suggesting that porn is only stocked with villains, but the ultimate cost is clear, even if it ends on an ever-so-slightly ambiguous note.

Touching as it does on ambition, friendship and betrayal in the sex business, Pleasure is often oddly reminiscent of Paul Verhoeven’s Showgirls. Or rather, the gritty film Showgirls was claiming to be, as opposed to the camp classic it became. There’s nothing campy here. Kappel is raw and fearless in the lead, but never lets the viewer lose touch with her humanity. Emma puts it well: “Kappel gives the hardest, most provocative and transfixing performance I’ve seen all festival.” “My whole body was physically tense during this,” writes Gillian, while Keegan perhaps speaks for most when she says “Great film, never want to see it again.” —DC

Coming Home in the Dark Directed by James Ashcroft, written by Ashcroft and Eli Kent

A family camping trip amidst some typically stunnin—and casually foreboding— New Zealand scenery is upended by a shocking rug-pull of violence that gives way to sustained terror represented by Daniel Gillies’ disturbingly calm psychopath. The set-up of this thriller initially suggests a spin on the backwoods brutality thriller, but as Coming Home in the Dark progresses and hope dissipates, the motivations reveal themselves to be much more personal in nature, and informed on a thematic level by New Zealand’s colonial crimes against its Indigenous population. It’s a stark and haunting film that remains disorientating and unpredictable throughout, repeatedly daring the viewer to anticipate what will happen next, only to casually stomp on each glimmer of a positive outcome.

It’s so captivatingly bleak that a viewing of it, as Collins Ezeanyim’s eloquent reaction points out, does not lend itself to completing domestic tasks. The film marks an auspicious debut for director and co-writer James Ashcroft. Jacob writes that he “will probably follow James Ashcroft’s career to the gates of Hell after this one”. Justin hits the nail on the head with his description: “Lean and exceptionally brutal road/revenge film … that trades in genre tropes, especially those of Ozploitation and ’70s Italian exploitation, but contextualizes them in the dark history of its country of origin.” —DC

The World to Come Directed by Mona Fastvold, written by Ron Hansen and Jim Shepard

Mona Fastvold has not made the first, nor probably the last, period romance about forbidden lesbian love. But The World to Come focuses on a specific pocket in time, a world contained in Jim Shepard’s short story ‘Love & Hydrogen’ from within the collection giving the film its name. Katherine Waterston and Vanessa Kirby are Abigail and Tallie, farming neighbors, stifled by their husbands, who find brief moments of solace, of astonishment and joy, together. What shines here is the script, a verbose, delicate narration that emanates beauty more than pretence. “So beautifully restrained and yet I felt everything,” Iana writes.

And you can feel the fluidity and elegance in the way the film sounds, too: composer Daniel Blumberg’s clarinet theme converses with the dialogue and tells you when your heart can break, when you must pause, when the end is near. “So much heartache. So much hunger. So much longing. Waves of love and grief and love and grief,” writes Claira, capturing the ebb and flow of emotion that keeps The World to Come in your mind long after the screen has gone silent. —EK

Related content

The 2021 Sundance Film Festival lineup by Letterboxd rating

Letterboxd’s ‘Official’ Top 50 of 2021

Awards Season 2020-2021: our awards-tracker list

Letterboxd’s Festiville HQ: our home for up-to-the-minute festival coverage

[akaashisupremacy]

Chasing Springtime

Summary: Kei Tsukishima, now in college, reacquaints himself with a childhood friend. They explore a museum together where they reminisce about their time in junior high. Old feelings that he has long shoved aside resurface.

Notes: Kaori Miyahara is an original character, but readers are free to put themselves into her shoes! This is my first fic and I love museums. There will be more chapters to come and let me know if you have any feedback.

Read it in (Ao3) 

Spring (February) 2018 || Sendai Modern and Contemporary Art Museum || Sendai City || 3:00 PM

“I haven’t been to many contemporary art museums before,”  Kei Tsukishima  admitted as he followed Kaori Miyahara into one of the temporary exhibit galleries.

Although Tsukki hoped to work in a museum after he graduated college, he mostly envisioned a historical or science museum. He hadn’t considered any art museums because he wasn’t too familiar with them.

Growing up in the suburbs, there was not a big emphasis on the arts. Tsukki later regretted not paying more attention to the subject because it would have made the Introduction to Modern and Contemporary Arts class he was taking far less daunting. The class itself was interesting and eye opening, but he had felt like he lacked the actual experience with such art to fully appreciate the course. Towards the end of last year’s winter term, he had a conversation with his classmate Kaori visiting more museums to have a better understanding at how his courses will be useful for his planned career.

On one of the last few weeks of the winter term, he entered the classroom to find Kaori with a bunch of museum brochures spread out on her desk. He plopped on his desk next to hers and took out his notebook in preparation for their class.

“What’s with all the brochures?” he asked. Kaori was also in her first year in university. He hadn’t been classmates with her for years, but even then her desk remained messy before class. Some things never change.

Kaori turned her body towards him, sitting on the side of her chair and waved some of the brochures at him. The professor had not yet arrived, everyone was milling around talking about the upcoming spring break.

“How many of these have you actually been to?” she asked.

“I’ve been to those two and that one,” he pointed to one of the brochures on her desk. He took out his headphones and began placing his notes and pens on his desk.

“I’m sure I’ve been to more when I was younger but I haven’t been in some of these in so long I’m not sure what their interiors look like anymore.” He shrugged his shoulders.

“Did you know that there were this many museums in the area?’ she asked, stacking the brochures on her desk.

“I guess not,” he shrugged, preparing to slip his headphones back on.

“I’m taking a class on Museum Management next semester and I don’t even know what most of the museums in the area look like. I’m not updated on their latest collections or their educational programs, I can already feel myself struggling at the subject.” she sighed. He could see a cloud of gloom start to gather on her head.

Tsukki honestly felt it was a little early to be panicking for a subject that started next term. He tried to reassure her, saying that many of her classmates would be on the same boat.

“There are so many I haven’t been to. I’ve been so focused on gymnastics when I lived here. I really should go to more museums.”she mumbled with her hands cupping her face, “I mean I’ve been to more museums when I lived in Tokyo because I was injured when I lived there. it’s great and all, but I’m not really taking my internship there.”

“Same,” he sighed, putting his hands behind his head, “Not about the Tokyo museums, but about visiting more museums. You shouldn’t be so hard on yourself. You’re competing on both a team and as an individual gymnast. Of course that’s time consuming.”

Most gymnasts only competed on either team or individual. Kaori was technically recruited to compete on the team, but sometimes she competed on her individual because she had some difficult skills in her arsenal from her elite days.

“I actually wish we were required to go to museums every two weeks or so that we’ll be more updated about their latest collections, ne?” she mulled over with hands clasped together staring into the blackboard.

“Kaori, I’m sure most of your classmates wouldn’t have gone to that many museums either. I mean you’ll probably go to more throughout college right? Why would you ask for extra work in class? You seem to be doing pretty well.

Beside, we’re reading up on a lot of the things inside the museum. Isn’t that enough?” he said. Tsukki waved his notes. He reached out to take a handful of brochures from her desk and looked through them.

Kaori shook her head.

“Reading about history and art is very different from seeing it in front of your eyes. I feel like I understand the subject better when I know and see what they’re talk about. Visiting museums is important even if it’s not required by class, Tsukki.”

“I mean you could still do it on your own right?” he asked, with one brow up.

Kaori pouted and gave him the side eye, “You’re placing a lot of faith in my self- initiative. I mean, would you go on your own will? Regularly?”

“If I had someone to keep me accountable I guess,” he shrugged, handing the brochures back to her. Maybe she did have a point about required attendance.

Tsukki convinced her to form a museum club for two where they planned to go to museums on every other Sunday afternoon. Their first trip was to the 3M Science Museum, which catered more to Tsukki’s interest and the city museum the session after. Today it was an art museum, which was more up Kaori’s alley.

“Should we head to the temporary or permanent galleries first…” he asked, browsing through the map on the brochure. There was a temporary exhibit on Southeast Asian art, a children’s biennale of sorts and of course the permanent collections.

“We’re a little pressed. We can always visit the permanent collections another time, so the temporary exhibit might be best.” said Kaori, mentally calculating the time they should spend on the temporary collection to be able to quickly go through the permanent collection.

“My mom’s from Southeast Asia and I lived there for a few years, so I’m always curious what their art has to say especially in exhibits abroad,” she added. They presented their tickets at the counter and the staff directed them towards the Southeast Asia exhibit.

“I thought you said your mom was Chinese?” he asked, a little bit surprised. Tsukki didn’t know much about Kaori’s mother from the times he has seen her. He just knew she was Chinese because Kaori almost always perfected the kanji sections of their exam when they were in Junior High.

“Yeah, but she grew up in Southeast Asia because her parents migrated there.” she answered.

A lot of the paintings that came from the exhibit were Social-Realists, which reflected the realities and struggles of the Third World countries. The texts explained that although abstraction was a widespread movement in the region, artists feel a responsibility towards amplifying the voices of the masses.

“Cool! A movie.” she exclaimed, kicking off her boots as she hopped onto the mats. Kaori promptly sank into a chair.

Tsukki read through the exhibit caption before he followed suit. Kaori had kind of just dumped her shoes at the edge of the mat. He straightened them up and placed them besides his at a corner.

“It says the Thai artist wanted to film protests for workers rights in a rural area in Thailand, then something about it being a larger commentary on capitalism. A lot of the works here are so politically charged.” he commented, dragging a bean bag closer to her, “Does any of this match up with your experience when you lived there?”

“Not really, but you have to remember that I was really young and that my mom’s family were well-off. Majority of the people in the region are not as affluent. That and I’ve never lived in Thailand.” she sighed, “I heard the food there is really spicy.”

“Isn’t poverty a universal experience though?” he said, sitting back onto his bean bag. “I mean poverty exists here in Japan too. Why is Southeast Asian poverty so special that you would base an entire region’s works around it?”

Kaori’s eyes widened at his words. She looked at him with her eyebrow raised and her mouth ajar. Tsukki jerked back and waved his hands side to side in apology - a break from his usual demeanor.

“Ah…sorry, that’s not what I meant. What I wanted to say was ahh...their poverty seems to be branded with their Southeast Asian-ness. It’s like regular poverty mixed with...the stuff from pre-colonial Southeast Asian history class. It’s like they’re really emphasizing how Southeast Asian they are through their poverty. ” he rubbed the back of his neck as he explained, “I’m not sure I explained it that well.”

“There’s a duo from the Philippines that told me that when they do that kind of thing, they are more likely to get funding from Japan. I met them at a Yokohama show when I was in Tokyo. They regularly get grants from Japan Foundation so it must be a formula that works.” she said matter-of-factly.

“Isn’t that a little disconcerting? That they have to show themselves as poor to get funding for their art?” he asked, shaking his head, “Shouldn’t there be a better criteria for funding? Like merit or something.”

Kaori sat back and looked at him in the eye, “All this almost feels like a show of how different and advanced Japan is. Since we don’t experience this kind of poverty here, it makes people feel better about their conditions you know.” She let herself slump at her seat as she talked, “The message is this: we don’t need these movements to be widespread because these problems supposedly don’t exist.”

Tsukki was surprised at the sharpness of her words. He had never thought about art that way. I mean he knew that art could be used as propaganda, but the subtlety of nuances of a Southeast Asian contemporary art exhibit was astonishing if Kaori was indeed right.

“Ahh I’m not sure how acceptable it is to say out loud. The Japanese can be prissy about discussions on politics. The culture here is rather compliant. People would rather obey than speak up.” she said, fiddling with her jacket as she stared at the film, “ And…I think I’ve made you uncomfortable. Just so you know, I’m not accusing you of anything. Compliance is a structure. ”

He shook his head, “…more than anything I think what you said has given me something to think about. I don’t feel targeted, don’t worry.”

Her vocabulary had become so sharp and radical. Kaori had the tendency to be critical about politics from an early age or “edgy” as some of the schoolmates would describe her, but even this caught him a little off guard.  

“Besides, just because this is all propaganda doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy its other merits,” he said standing up and preparing to leave.

Another couple entering the matted space turned to look at Tsukki. He looked slightly embarrassed.

“That’s right my leftist friend,” she said, winking at him, laughing inside at his discomfort. Tsukki nudged her side as she put her shoes back on.

“God, Kaori! You can be so cheeky sometimes.” he gritted his teeth, muttering at her, helping her up.

“Apologies, comrade.” she teased, walking on her tiptoes towards the next installation.

In the middle of the exhibit was a video installation that filled an entire wall. Mats covered the floor and bean bag chairs were spread all around encouraging visitors to sit and watch the film. A few visitors looking to rest were seated in the area. It looked like a casual film-viewing experience. After sitting in the area for a few minutes, they quickly moved onto to other works.

Tsukki’s favorite installation was probably one from Singapore. There wasn’t much text available about it, except that it made use of Ryuichi Sakamoto’s works such as Andata and Ubi that it was previously exhibited in the National Singapore Gallery.

The installation was fenced like a loose, dark maze. It was pitch black except for the patches of light emanating from tablet sized screens showing vignettes of apartment living rooms at night. The living rooms were shown from different angles all illuminated by TV screens as music by Sakamato, a renowned film music composer played in the background. Each tablet played a different piece.

“I like this one,” he said approvingly, “It’s unlike anything we’ve read in class.It’s more than paintings on walls. It’s a whole room of art!”

“It’s a great way to portray isolation in the cities.” she nodded.

Tsukki had barely pinpointed what he liked about the exhibit. Kaori had already summed up what it was about. The closest work they’ve discussed at class in relation to the installation was probably Rothko, an American abstractionist who painted huge canvases of color in hopes of moving people through the sheer size and emotion emanating from the painting.

“Reminds me of Edward Hopper,” she said, bending down a bit, to look at one of the screens.

Tsukki, who was peering at one the screens placed so low he had to crouch to be able to look, sat up straight. Hopper…that name seemed familiar. He probably took it up in his modern art class last semester. Maybe an American artist.

“American modernist who portrayed isolation of the city living. He had some works portraying how empty cities were during World War 2.” she said, as if reading her thoughts. “The professor barely mentioned it. I became a huge fan of his work when I was younger.”

Tsukki breathed a sigh of relief. Today was a Sunday, but he felt like he was being tested in school. Both of them took their time viewing each tablet, relishing in the details of each screen. They had stayed long enough that the music began to change to atmospheric noises and other atmospheric music.

Kaori had decided she was done before Tsukki was, so she sauntered over his side about a meter away, as not to pressure him to finish up. He sensed she was done and turned to her.

“Do you like this installation?” he asked. Her shape barely carved itself in the dark, but he could hear her breathing softly and the rustling of her jacket gave way where she stood while patiently waiting for him to finish.

“I do. The use of music makes me think about how different this installation would be if the music choices were switched. Andata is looming and melancholic right? It sounds like a silent scream. It heightens the alienation implied by the empty living rooms. If I changed it into something else, the feel would be totally different.” she whispered so quickly that he had to replay what she said in his head.  

Tsukki could sense Kaori was brewing with ideas. She sounded excited, and a little distracted by her own thoughts as if a million thoughts were racing in her head.

“What song would you put in place to change the mood?” he asked.

Kaori brought out her phone. She looked around to see if the light would distract other viewers. Thankfully there was no one else in the installation. She tapped his headphones around his neck indicating that she wanted to borrow his chord. He drew out the chord from his phone in his pocket and handed it to her. His fingers touched the center of her palm.

Illuminated by the light of her phone, Kaori instructed him to look at the nearest screen. He put his headphones on. She played Mr. Sandman by The Chordettes which was a song from the fifties sung by a barbershop quartet. The song transformed the living into a scene of possible domestic bliss. The modern living room juxtaposed with a vintage song created the semblance of residents that liked a fun throwback.

She wiggled her finger and pressed another song, playing “Careless Whisper by George Michael". Tsukki smirked, suppressing his laughter. This was a sharp contrast to Sakamoto and Chordettes’ pieces indeed. He took out his headphones.

“But what would you play to describe your own living room?” he asked.

Kaori thought for a moment and searched through her phone, her face barely lit.

“Ahh” she exclaimed, gesturing for him to put his headphones back. The piece she played combined ambient noises in a park such as the croaking of frogs and chirping of birds and layered with a piano composition that mimicked the sensation of light rains and wind.

“Your living room in Karasuno?” he guessed. Considering he lived next door, the sounds they heard in their backyard were pretty similar.

Kaori nodded, “Sounds like your living room too when you open the windows.”

Kaori and Tsukki were neighbors during Junior High. Although Kaori’s schedule was always tight (even during their breaks) because she wanted to compete at the elite level of gymnastics, they spent many whatever time they had free in each other’s backyard, tossing a volleyball around or watching shows on Tsukki’s computer.

Sometime in their second year, Tsukki became embarrassed about being seen around Kaori in school because their classmates would tease them together. At a time when first crushes and romances were novel, Tsukki found the whole thing an irritable debacle. Although he easily stood up to bullies, the teasing still got to him. He didn’t want people to think Kaori was his girlfriend. Tsukki’s distancing did not sit well with Kaori. She understood his concern but felt that it wasn’t an excuse to stop being friends.

One afternoon, when Kaori’s parents weren’t home. She thought it was the perfect opportunity to hang out with him because there was no one around. The sound of a volleyball being tossed up in the air indicated that Tsukki was out playing in his backyard. It was a relatively peaceful day. The sun was out, the birds were chirping, frogs were croaking in the distance. Tsukki’s footsteps lightly scratched on the dirt beneath his feet.

She climbed the brick wall between them and propped herself up on her forearms.

“Tsukki! Tsukki! Hey!!!” she said, struggling to keep herself on the wall. Tsukki turned to the direction of the wall. He was jolted by the sound of her voice, stumbling back on his own feet.

“How did you climb the wall? What are you doing??” He hissed, scrambling to stand back up. Kaori was like a monkey sometimes.

“Do you wanna watch a musical? Let’s watch a musical!” she smiled, waving at him.

“No.” he sternly pouted, folding his arms and staring at her. He was determined to spend less time with her, the memory of school teasing still fresh on his mind.

“You just don’t wanna hang out with me, because I’m a girl right? If I was a boy, you’d totally hang out with me like Yamaguchi!” she yelled, “You’re not even busy-”

Kaori lost her grip on the wall and slipped down the wall. Tsukki gasped. He heard a thud into the dirt. In a shot of adrenaline, he scrambled up his side of the wall to check if she was alright.

“Kaori! Are you okay?” he asked, holding himself up on the wall. His feet were slipping. He urged himself to stay up.

Kaori sat on her butt. She rolled backwards and quickly stood on her feet.

“I’m fine. Thanks. Didn’t think you’d be concerned,” she said, sticking her tongue out at me “since you don’t want to be friends anymore looks like it.”

“I just don’t want people teasing that you’re my girlfriend because you’re not.” he said, his brows furrowed.

“Why can’t you just tell that? Do you really have to go around avoiding me sometimes? If you don’t want to be friends, I’ll just go find new friends!!!” she said out loud, crossing her arms. Kaori made friends easily, Tsukki had no doubt that she could easily find someone else to bother.

“Everyone nearby is kind of in college. Who are you going to be friends with?” he said, cocking his head.

“I’ll bike to the next corner!” she called out, raising her voice at Tsukki who was struggling to stay hanging on the wall.

Tsukki couldn’t hold on anymore and slipped back down to the dirt of his backyard. He tried to climb back up. He couldn’t. Although he was tall, he was relatively skinny for his height. He didn’t have a lot of strength or athleticism.

“Ok, fine let’s watch a musical. Just don’t be so noisy. You can come over. Bring your own headphones.” he sighed, talking to her from his side of the wall.

When he didn’t hear a reply, he called her name, “Kaori?” Had she gone into her house in deliberate measure to ignore him?

Kaori managed to climb on the wall with her arms folded in front of her.

“Yes? Did you try climbing over again? I heard some scuffles on the wall.” she grinned with a glint in her eye. Tsukki could just feel that she enjoyed watching him struggle.

“Just come,” he scowled, rolling his eyes.

“Ok!” she smiled, dropping back down into her side.

The two spent the next hour and a half in the Tsukishima family living room watching a live recording of “Singing in the Rain” off a computer. They sat squeezed together on the couch with the computer placed on each of their laps. Kaori tapped her fingers to the beat of the songs. Tsukki lightly hummed to the few melodies he was familiar with. Both fully absorbed in the story set at the end of the silent film era.

After they watched the musical, Tsukki got Kaori to toss the volleyball for him in his backyard.

“You should do a routine to ‘Singing in the Rain’! It would look cool with your clubs or hoop apparatus.” he said excitedly. He promised to get Yamaguchi to watch her competition if she did the said routine.

“I think it would be quite good with the hoops too! Hopefully my coach will let me do it next season. Almost everyone does Pop or Classical music in rhythmic gymnastics, it can get really boring.” she sighed, changing her toss to an underhand receive. She hit the incoming ball and sent it up high.

“Nice receive! You’re really improving.” he said, watching where the ball was falling. He promptly catches it with an overhand toss.

“Thanks, it’s from all this tossing that we’re doing.” she said, her eyes glued to the ball.

While they toss the ball back and forth, Tsukki begins whistling the main melody of Singing in the Rain.

“How do you do that? I’ve always wanted to whistle! ” she asked, trying to whistle but to no avail. Tsukki shrugs his shoulders. He tries to teach her how to shape her lips. Kaori tries a couple of times and sighs in defeat. His whistling blends in with the sound of chirping birds and they continue to play until dinnertime.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Who wrote this piece? It’s great.” he said, moving his headphones back down to his neck gesturing to ask for her phone.

“Belle Chen, she’s a contemporary classical musician. You should download her music” she said, showing him her profile. “What would you play to describe your house?”

“Sukiyaki is something my mom would play.” he thought. His mother had a penchant for 60’s pop songs that she would blast while she cleaned and cooked.

The two exited the installation into a series of dimly lit installations. They found themselves out on a hallway with colorful glass with a long net of wind-chimes on the ceiling.

“Pity that they didn’t put this outdoors. The wind would create more variations with the sound. Here it’s just being regularly blasted by the air conditioning.” she commented.

As Tsukki’s eyes adjusted to the light, he rebutted, “Maybe they placed the chimes here not for the source of wind, but for the light source. If this installation was outdoors, if this whole hallways was outdoors…the transition from a series of dimly lit areas into the sun would be quite jarring. The artificial light with the gentle rustling of the chimes would be a gentle reminder to the senses about the transition of spaces.”

Kaori still thought the chimes were best placed outside, reminiscent of the sound of chimes and bells during a temple visit but Tsukki did make a good argument for its current placement. They sat on the benches laid out on the hallway, listening to the chimes.

“What about here? What music will you play here?” he asked.

Kaori didn’t even blink. She extended her hand for his chord and plugged him in then played Sudden Rush of Memories by the Shanghai Restoration Project. Electronic synth music filled syncopations at the start that mellowed as it went on. Piano mixed with mimicked shuttling of a passing. It was colorful and evocative of a transcendental past.

It reminded Tsukki of the rustling of the wind, trees and sunlight peeking through the branches of “The Spot”. His first adventure at “The Spot”  when he was pedalling home after an afternoon spent at his volleyball youth group when he was 12 turning 13 on his first year in Junior High. He opted not to compete in his Junior High varsity team so his brother suggested that he sometimes practice with the adults from the town association to sharpen his skills in between his regular youth group. Practice had run later than usual and the sky was getting dark fast. He felt relieved that he didn’t have school the next day, so even if he had morning practice, he would have time to rest tonight.

On the last slope of the hill before he reached the street of his home, he heard a frantic pedalling from behind that threatened to derail his peaceful downward descent. He swiftly looked back to find Kaori Miyahara wide-eyed  and struggling to control her bike at the frenzied speed she was going.

In a split second decision, Tsukki hit the brakes on his bike and swerved into the nearest wall he could find to prevent colliding with Kaori. He lightly hit himself on the wall, relatively unscathed. Kaori hastily pulled the brakes as soon as she made it down hill. She pressed so hard that she almost flew off her bike.

Tsukki pedalled down and told her to watch where she was going as she picked herself up onto her bike.

“Can you watch where you’re going next time? That was reckless and dangerous!” he told her off. He re-adjusted his glasses and put himself back onto his bike.

Kaori seemed shaken up and as she looked up to apologise to him her eyes were at the verge of tears.

“I’m sorry!” she said, bowing her head.

Her shoulders started shaking as she slowly lifted her head. Tsukki’s eyes widened. He was tall, even for someone who was 12, so even if Kaori was over 5 feet tall, she looked terribly small to him, especially when she cowered as she cried and pitiable. He held back his impulse to call her lame.

“It’s alright. Hey, look it’s not a big deal.” he nodded, dusting himself returning to his usual nonchalant tone. Kaori would not stop crying. He sighed and got off his bike.

“I said it’s not a big deal. Why are you still crying?” he said, scratching the back of his head in genuine confusion. He had never really made someone cry outside of a volleyball game before.

In between sobs, Kaori explained that she had an early day off from gymnastics today and she had planned to find a spot that overlooked Sendai City to see the sunset. Her friend had suggested a spot and gave her directions, but she was lost for over an hour. With her curfew in mind, she started panicking while trying to make her way home finally coming out into a familiar street just about 10 minutes ago.

“This has been a terrible afternoon!” she hissed in frustration, “I even brought my analogue camera and everything. and now I feel like I’m about to get in trouble for coming home late.”

Tsukki resisted the urge not to laugh. Kaori was crying and fuming at the same time, it was like she couldn’t choose between which emotion to feel first.

“Where is this place?” he said, trying to sound serious. After picking up Kaori’s bike off the road, he walked beside his own bike. “Enough biking for today, let’s walk home.”

Kaori described a spot right off the main road. She said it was somewhere uphill near a small park of sorts where one could see the view of Sendai from a mildly sloping patch of grass. Tsukki kind of knew the general area that Kaori described but he hadn’t been there himself.

“Why don’t you just ask your friend to go with you?” he suggested.

“Well, Yuhana-chan lives in the opposite direction of that spot. It’s very far from her house, she will need her parents to drive her there if she really wants to go.” Kaori thought aloud.

Tsukki offered to draw a map that she could use to get to the said spot for tomorrow after gymnastics.

“Should I pack lunch and just eat there after gymnastics?” she pondered.

“The spot seems nearer from home than your gym. Besides it might be too hot there if you go during lunch. Might as well just go first before you head out in the afternoon.

Besides, there is no way that I’m doing that map tonight, so you’ll have to come back for it after lunch.” he said, raising his nose at her.

Kaori, who was absorbed in her own thoughts about the next day’s adventures, was unfazed by Tsukki’s expression. If the spot seemed warm, she definitely needed to pack snacks and something to drink.

“Sure, thanks Tsukki!” she said heading to her house while waving at him, “See you tomorrow.”

Tsukki rolled his eyes at her. She seemed to have forgotten her day’s ordeals already. Kaori rolled her bike into her house and Tsukki rolled his bike into the side of their house. While he took off his shoes, his brother peered out of the dining room to greet him.

“Okairi, Kei.” he smiled warmly. Unlike Kei, Akiteru was warm, friendly and cheerful. He was affectionate and supportive of his younger brother, conscious that his brother looked up to him. Like Kei, Akiteru was a volleyball player and an ace in Junior High. Tsukki idolized him both in and out of the court.

“Kei, you’re later than usual. Did practice run late to today?” asked Akiteru.

“Practice was alright. Miyahara-san got lost and panicked. She almost crashed into me on her way down the hill because she was rushing home. She was crying for a bit and I didn’t know what to do so I waited for her to stop crying.”

“Oh, is she ok?” Akiteru’s face was marked with concern. He hadn’t expected something so serious to have happened.

“Yeah, it’s like she forgot all about it when she saw her home.” he snorted.

The boys’ mother called them for dinner and the two quickly washed up before heading for the table. After dinner, Kei insisted that his brother helped him practice his passes and receives in their backyard. As Akiteru was tossing the ball and instructing him to bend his knees some more, he asked more about Kei’s day.

“Kao-chan is a free-spirited ne?” he said, passing him the ball through an underhand toss.

“She’s so dramatic. She cries over nothing.” Kei sniffed, receiving his brother’s toss with perfect timing.

“Hmmm…it wasn’t because you were being mean to her or anything right?” Akiteru raised his brow, looking at Tsukki straight in the eye. His younger brother could be cold to kids his age. He felt that Tsukki didn’t have many friends not because he wasn’t likable or inherently a bad person, it was because he didn’t try to be nicer.

Kei hesitated and looked to the side.

“No!…” he exclaimed.

Akiteru raised both of his brows at his little brother.

“…no? Maybe?” he muttered crossing his arms grumpily, “I told her to be more careful that’s all.”

Akiteru laughed and hit him on his side, “Kei, you are a terrible liar!”

Kei cursed quietly. His brother knew him too well.

After lunch the next day, Tsukki knocked at Kaori’s door with the map at hand. She answered the door and peered closely at his map.

“I won’t get lost if I follow exactly this map, right? This is not a prank.” she said, examining the roads he had labelled onto the paper.

“Why would I make a wrong map? That’s too much work.” he said, sounding exasperated that Kaori had doubted him. He was waiting for her to deem the map usable; they stood on her front porch.

“Are you super sure that this is right?” she said, rubbing her chin with her fingers while continuing to inspect the map then peered at him.

“I’ve never actually been there.” he confessed sheepishly.

“I’ll just go with you. I kind of know where it is but I don’t know where the exact place is.” he added, “When I get bored I’ll just bike back.” He was curious what this spot looked like. His brother was in practice anyways so he had nothing better to do.

“Sounds fair,” she said, accepting his offer with her hands on her hips.

Tsukki went back home to grab his book, his phone and his bike. The two met just outside their houses and biked off with Tsukki in the lead. The path to the spot was long winding and a little off the main road. It was overwhelmingly uphill that Tsukki for a while wondered if they should’ve just walked.

After a few wrong turns, they finally found the spot. Just as Kaori’s friend described, there was a patch of grass and a glorious view of the city from a vantage point with plenty of trees. The summer breeze blew by gently. The sight took their breath away.

“Wow….” said Kaori under her breath. She parked her bike on the ground and took her things from the basket. Kaori outstretched her arms and smiled. The wind tousled her hair and jacket.

Tsukki settled himself under a tree and put on his headphones. He opened  his book and folded his legs onto himself. He swiftly lost himself in his reading.

Kaori followed suit and sat near him. She pulled a bento box of sesame cookies and a thermos accompanied by two cups from her bag as well as her watercolor set, sketchpad and camera. Occasional gusts of wind would block her eyes with her hair, but she did not seem to mind. Kaori was busy being content.

When Kaori remembered the food she had set out, she tapped Tsukki on the shoulder and pointed towards the cookies. He took a cookie, thanked her and went back to the book. She poured herself some tea before standing up to take a photo of the view.

The two hardly talked while they immersed themselves in their separate worlds for the afternoon. Kaori sat painting away while Tsukki read with his headphones on. Kaori had packed her own music, but she decided that she liked the sounds of the wind rustling tree branches better.

As Kaori flipped through another page in her sketchpad, she looked up to see that Tsukki had fallen asleep with his hand on an opened book over his chest. She took another cookie and laid on her back. The light penetrating through the leaves of the trees filled her view. She held the cookie with her teeth and took a photo of the sky with her camera.

The click from her camera woke Tsukki from his light sleep. He blinked and turned towards her. Kaori took another photo of the sky for safe keeping - her film camera wasn’t always reliable.

“I like the light from here.” she sighed softly, “It’s like it’s leaking through the sky.”

“Isn’t there a word for that? Komorebi? The light that filters through the trees?” he yawned, picking up his book back up.

“Komorebi?” she whispered to herself. She liked it how it sounded and repeated it to herself a few more times. She stuck out her arms to see the shadows of the tree play on herself.

Tsukki went back to his book. She sat back up to continue to paint. They spent the afternoon on the grass, peaceful and unhurried.When the sunset became apparent, Tsukki began packing his things, preparing to leave.

“It’s time to go,” he said, “It’s getting late.”

Kaori had begun packing her things too. Her empty thermos was stowed beside the cups in her bag. She was carefully putting her brushes away then turned to him.

“Tsukki, but the sunset is just getting good. This is the best part! Can’t we stay a little longer?” she said, unable to look away from the magnificent gradients of the sky.

“I’m going to go ahead, you can stay.” he frowned, walking towards his bike.

“But I’m not sure I remember how to go home. Can’t we stay a little longer….please???” she pleaded, clasping her hands together.

“10 more minutes!” he sighed, sitting back down beside her.

Kaori brought out her camera and snapped a photo of the sunset oohing and ahhing its colors.

“Tsukki, you should have a photo with this view.” she insisted, shuffling him towards the front of the camera.

“Eh? No!” he said, standing his ground as she gently but firmly shoved him away from the tree.

“Come on, how else will you commemorate the discovery of this spot?” she said, poking his side, “Smile ok? Film is expensive. I can only take a few pictures, not like a digital camera.”

Tsukki begrudgingly humored her and smiled in front of the camera. Afterwards, Kaori asked him to take her photo too.

When the photos were taken and the camera was packed away, they headed back down the hill towards their homes. Kaori tried not to yell as her bike plunged down the steep hill. Tsukki biked behind her, afraid to bike in front her after yesterday’s mishap. He gritted his teeth and his bike accelerated into a speed that almost flattened his glasses against his face.

They biked quietly side by side after the hill. The ride was generally silent until Kaori spoke up.

“Thanks for today, Tsukki. That spot is the best place around here. You know I was starting to think this place was boring!” she beamed, “though I was thinking maybe next time we should just walk if it wasn’t so far…”

“We?! You’re planning to drag me here again?” he exclaimed, patting his hair back into place as he saw their street approaching. The sky was holding out its last light, turning into a light shade of purple.

“I mean you don’t have to come back, but I will keep going there and you can come if you like. It’s your spot now too!” she said, turning towards him.

Tsukki never had a spot to consider his before. He had his room, but that wasn’t really the same.

From then on, they knew that patch of grass as “The Spot”. Kaori would return to it. Sometimes alone, sometimes with Tsukki through the rest of her time in Miyagi. When she moved away, it was one of the places she missed the most.

“Kind of reminds me of The Spot…” he murmured, a little nervous as he spoke. Ever since he met Kaori in class, they haven’t really spoken about their past.

“It’s been a while since I’ve been there.” she wondered.

“Yeah, it has been, for us both but more for you I guess.” he said, turning towards her.

“Did you still go there after I transferred out?” she asked, turning to face him. Her eyes were wide and curious. He looked away.

He nodded, “Once in a while. The piece reminds me of our first afternoon there. It was a little windy, we watched the view. You painted and I read.”  

Kaori looked the other way, “We’ve been there so many times, I don’t really remember the first time. It feels like all my memories there have blended together some days.” She sounded quiet and a little embarrassed that she couldn’t remember more.

“At the end of the afternoon, you took a photo. I took one of you too. We watched a bit of the sunset, but we had to go back and you had already asked for ten minutes.” he said, staring down pretending to look at the piece’s cover art.

Kaori kept silent, her hands on her lap. Leaving Miyagi was such a painful memory for her. She tried to leave her memories behind when she landed in Tokyo.

“Why choose to come back to Sendai? You seem suited towards Tokyo.” he asked, genuinely curious. He stared at her, puzzled that she willingly came back to a place that she admitted had brought her so much pain. Kaori was not one for rural and suburban living too. She was a city girl at heart. Tokyo sounded perfect.

“Two words. Scholarship offer. The university offered me a full-ride plus allowance. I didn’t have my National Team funding so it would be expensive to continue doing gymnastics on my own.” she admitted.

Kaori checked the time. They had a little more than an hour before the museum closed.

“Let’s breeze through the permanent collection,” she suggested, changing the topic.

——————————————————

Once Kaori’s feet hit the tatami of her apartment, she hurriedly went through her boxes of photos which she brought with her from her time in Miyagi prefecture and later Tokyo. She found a box labelled “Junior High”. After a few minutes of searching, she found a pile of photos labelled "Others" which she used to refer to any event that didn’t have to do with her family, school and gymnastics life.

Her fingers find two copies of the same photo of Tsukki with their first sunset at The Spot. One of the copies had writings on the back.

She had written “Thanks for bringing me here, Tsukki. We should go back!” in her script, signed with her name and the date. She must have meant to give this to him, but totally forgot.

The photo untangled their many memories in The Spot and brought back a rush of memories specific to their first afternoon: the light from the trees, the cookies and Tsukki falling asleep beside her with his book. It had been almost six years and Tsukki still remembered it all as clear as day.

Kaori picked up her phone to text him. “You were right, I did take a photo. I found it. Will bring it to you when we see each other at uni. Find me in the library tomorrow?”

In the next hour, Kaori sat on her floor and flipped through her photos from that spring. She played “Sudden Rush of Memories” by The Shanghai Restoration Project as she carefully inspected each photo to see if she remembered when they were taken and with whom. At each syncopation and rest in the music, she felt her heart stop as she reminisced on her past that she had buried when she moved to Tokyo. The nostalgia of her time in junior High mixed with memory of her injuries and her parents’ separation brought a wave of inexplicable emotions.

The next day Kaori was in the library trying to cram some study time between her last class and her training when Tsukki pulled out a chair across her and brought out his books.

“How did you find me?” she jolted up, visibly surprised.

“You sat at this spot the last time I was in the library, thought I’d find you here again.” he said in hushed tones, “and didn’t you tell me to find you in the library before your training?”

Kaori ignored his question and slipped the photo to him. Tsukki’s expression asked whether she was lending or giving it to him. She flipped the photo over to show him the writing.

“I had two copies made because I wanted to make sure you got your own. It’s yours now.” she explained quietly.

Tsukki carefully slipped the photo into one of his books and began studying. He had some time before his training began. They sat absorbed in their separate worlds, catching up with their school work and passing the hours of their afternoon allowed by their schedules with their books.

When Tsukki got home after his training, his brother had already laid out dinner on the table. He had made cabbage salad, and pork cutlet curry bowls on top of the usual miso soup and rice. Akiteru greeted him brightly and shuffled dinner from the kitchen counter to their dining table.

“Let’s eat!” he said, gesturing for his younger brother to come sit. Tsukki put away his things and brought out one of his books from his bag.

Tsukki nods. He quickly puts his sweaty clothes away. His usual bag was getting smelly, he aired out his books while on his desk. He brought out one book to read during dinner.

Akiteru noticed the photo slipped into the book. He pulled it out to look at it. He flipped it around surprised to see the handwritten note at the back.

‘Who took this photo?” he casually flips the photo surprised to find the writing at the back. He smiles a bit.

“I didn’t know you kept this after all these years.”

“I didn’t. I met Kaori the other day. She gave me this.”  

Akiteru raised his brows, eyes widening as he inspected the photo.  He hadn’t heard about her since she left. When she moved, he assumed it was permanent. What brought her back?

“She’s in Miyagi again?” he commented with a neutral tone.

“Sports scholarship offer from the university,” said Tsukki.

“We were in the same class last semester and I ran into her the other day. That’s all.” explained Tsukki, sipping through his miso soup. His tone indicated that was the end of the topic.

Akiteru nodded and backed away from the topic. His younger brother was not ready to talk about it. He put the photo down and began digging through his rice.

Kaori’s relationship with Kei was unique in many aspects. For one, he calls her by her first name despite his persistent habit of addressing his few close friends strictly by their last names. Kei had always been private about the time he spent with Kaori. Even when the two were close, Kei kept his stories and comments about Kaori to a minimum.

After chores and homework were said and done, Tsukki laid down on his bed. He took the photo back out and played “Sudden Rush of Memories” with his headphones on. The piece took him back to many an afternoon, lying flat on his back as the spring breeze gently blew by. He could hear Kaori’s camera clicking beside him. Closing his eyes as if he was back on “The Spot” for the first time, he placed his hand on his chest and dozed off into the night.

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Read the rest of the chapters:

|| Chap. 2 (AO3) || Chap. 3