#cant wait to see what u all cook up...

[shy-writer-999]

happy kinktober, i hope i read the absolute nastiest foulest most depraved things i can get my hands on

[b4kuch1n]

grinning from ear to ear abt this final piece of the job

[chisungie]

.

[saturniolos]

besties (matt sturniolo x reader) ౨ৎ⋆ ˚｡⋆

notes: this took me days. i am going BLIND plz show sum love &&&&& hey——— come talk to me ! (btw this type of editing/social media aus have been around for ages- credit goes to the person who came up with it first!!)

yourusername

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yourusername happy 20th my boys. thank u for driving me around and feeding me and being the greatest airbnb hosts when i be acting up … 🦌🦌🦌🤍 love you always.

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christophersturniolo love you freak

sturniolohens their friendship >>

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sturniolotrippies THE MATCHING TSHIRTS WITH MATT ARE YOU KIDDING US Y/N

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yourusername

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yourusername i lvoe crazy bitchsees 😍⏰🪩🐎🦋 !!!◡̈!! guys i went skiing for the first time as well- can u tell :-)))…

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madifilipowicz ur soooo 🥹🥹🥹🦩🩷🦋🍬🍬🍩🌈

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megamatthew44 tears on my thighs frrrr

matthew.sturniolo

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matthew.sturniolo Huge toothpick fan

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christophersturniolo 👊🏻😊

nathandoe8 clean

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nicolassturniolo @yourusername …let’s get you to bed grandma 🙂

yourusername

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yourusername new year new me xo

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nicolassturniolo it’s February

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christophersturniolo y/n, don't listen to the haters. I love you, and you love me. We do not owe anyone anything. Our family is who matters. If you get likes and good comments great, if you get hate then whatever because THEY DON'T MATTER. I love you💕

yourusername 😳 bye

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matthew.sturniolo I love you 🤟🏼

[stararch4ngelqueen]

domestic jason hcs? >:)

(this ask feels self-indulgent but i was VERY inspired by this one buff dude i saw on insta reels baking in a not-so-sexual way but like women in the comments are down bad and i cant really describe it im so sorry 😭)

imagine waking up to jason baking something (doesnt have to be anything could just be bread). you wanna help but the only instructions he gives you is to sit pretty, wearing his shirt and all. everytime he moves around the kitchen, he give u a lil peck on the lips if hes close enough to you. youre just sitting pretty like he asked, watching this man work and looking a little love struck cuz all you wanna do is pull him down and give him the fattest kiss for being so husband material

(dude, im yearning so much. thank u for writing a lot for jason 💞 ALSO ive seen u around in the cod tag so another thanks for ur fics there too 💞)

I’m sticking with the prompt cause I had unholy thoughts. An thank you! I appreciate your appreciation for my works ✨

This may be the tiniest bit suggestive 🌝

Time Written - 5:51 a.m

Baking at an early hour was somewhat new for Jason.

Baking at an early hour after an intense ending to an incredible date night was incredibly new for Jason.

His hands were occupied with an intriguing scene of soft dough and hard, rich yellow butter on a marble countertop. His muscles at work folding in the pockets of butter into the dough, pressing it with the heels of his palms.

“Morning, mama.” His morning voice held that early rasp in his tone that tickled you just right. You reciprocated his greeting as you walk into the kitchen, dressed in one of his shirts he aggressively yanked off the night before.

There he stood in grey sweatpants. Baking something delectable for seemingly no reason.

“What’s the occasion?” You question as you approach the counter, admiring his bed rugged hair adding onto his every attractive appearance.

“Cloudy outside, which means baking time.”

“Baking time?” The slightest glance at your cheeky little grin made him amusingly scoff.

“Baked goods,” he clarified with a head gesture behind him. “Coffee’s ready for ya, babe.”

Soon, the kitchen will flood with the warm aroma of browning butter and cooking sugar, invading throughout your home for a very long evening. Neighbors will get jealous over the smell of bakery air, hopefully helping them ignore the noises prior to the other night.

It was quite a sight to watch, his muscles flexing with a focused flare along his brow. You almost didn’t hear his insistence the second time towards the cinnamon coffee waiting in the pot for you.

“Gonna stick around? You’ll get first glance at what I’m making.”

“Which is?” You pry, watching him approach the sink to wash his hands.

“Crossiants,” he admits after drying his hands, giving the tip of your nose a peck. “With chocolate.”

“Look at you, my man’s a baker.” You smile while leaning against the counter, feeling your heart throb romantically from his chaste kisses.

“Not what you expected, huh?”

“What, my Red Hood busting skulls and baking? So many single moms would chase after you if they could.”

That comment has him unexpectedly laugh. Not the worst thing he’s been told, so he’ll take it. Poor single mothers, too bad he’s already taken.

“I thought you meant the chocolate would be inside?” You ask after peeking at the dough he wrapped up in cling wrap.

“No,” He shakes his head. “See, I thought that, but I like the idea of dipping them into melted chocolate a whole lot better.”

“Where’d you get the inspiration?”

“France,” he amusingly huffs with a shrug after approaching to take the packet you handed to him. “Thanks baby. Where else?”

He slips the packet of buttered dough into the fridge before turning towards the stove, almost running into you as you beat him to it, peering into a saucepan full of melted chocolate.

“Hey, hey.” Cool, clean hands gently grasped hold of your shoulders, gently nudging you away from his little workspace. “Easy on those eyes, almost knocked you into an accident.”

“Need some help with anything?” You offer, reminding him of when he used to ask his mother the same question. Happy little memories that brought embers of warmth in his heart.

“You can be of huge help,” He begins, calloused hands grazing down along your fingerprint shaped bruised hips before hoisting you up in his arms like a little doll.

“By sitting pretty, an’ letting me work.”

He plops you down on a stool he pulled out from the island counter, giving you a perfect little spot to watch him work. You slouch after he turns away, watching him return to his little objective on the stove.

“You just melt chocolate in the pan like that?”

“Sorta,” Jason tilts his head after grabbing a spoon, stirring the smooth, ganache-like chocolate concoction around. “France’s version of hot chocolate. Some milk, cream, a little sugar.”

You hum as a response, watching the muscles along the back of his left shoulder move as he enacts upon such a simple, minor task. Jason probably said something else, along the lines of not wanting such a beautiful body of chocolate boil on the stove, but it wasn’t much of your concern as it was his.

Maybe your main concern was how exactly did the scratches you left along his back didn’t break skin, clinging onto him for dear life as they flexed along your greedy palms.

He probably knew that, he was hiding a smile for all you could tell if you paid any attention.

“My girl want a taste?” He offers, his real gaze snapping your mind back into reality. You nod, anxiously sitting up in your seat.

He spoons warm, melted chocolate on the top of your tongue, watching it dribble down your bottom lip. The pink of your little tongue swiped up the remnants, all for Jason’s adoring gaze to witness.

Your reaction varies upon the subtle lack of sweetness from the chocolate.

“It’s not that sweet. Is it dark—?”

Your words are stolen when he kisses you, cradling your face within his two warm hands after carelessly setting down the spoon.

His heavy lidded gaze meets yours after breaking off the kiss, his cheeks flushed with affectionate warmth.

“Don’t know,” his glistening lips curve upwards after licking his lips. “Tastes pretty sweet to me.”

He turns away, as if he hadn’t committed such a crime in the first place.

You’re left watching once again, anxious nerves preventing you from sitting still. Fidgety fingers lingering in your lap, grasping along the lower hem of your shirt.

“Also coffee,” Jason pitches as if he forgot. “Added a little espresso to enhance the taste. You, uh… never got your coffee, babe.”

Oh. Right. The first thing he told you when you came in.

“Sorry,” you sheepishly admit, slightly shifting your hips whilst on the stool. “Got a little distracted.”

He chuckles, not even needing a detective’s mindset to understand fully why. “Did you now?”

Not giving you a chance to answer, Jason sets the saucepan off the burner before turning full attention towards you. Swooping you off the stool you sat, hoisting you ontop of a warm, clean counter.

His torso pressed against yours, keeping you comfortably confined between a marble surface and a hard place. His hands caress along your torso, thumbs trickling over your stiff nipples through your shirt, still sore from his teeth marks.

“Took you long enough,” he grumbles against the shell of your ear. His lips press against your neck as you swallow, kissing down along your collarbone. “Figured you’d have stayed sleeping in ‘till I was done here. Guessin’ last night wasn’t enough for you?”

“Your fault for putting on a show.” You whisper, hooking your legs the best you could around his broad waist.

He chuckles against your neck, his excitement as palpable as his pearly smile expressed. “Your fault for watchin’, mama.”

[judeswhore]

fluff alphabet; jude bellingham

summary: fluff alphabet

pairing: jude bellingham x fem!reader

notes: you can find my masterlist here. u ask, i deliver🤭u can find the smutty version of this here

A = Affection (how affectionate are they? how do they show affection?)

so so so affectionate it’s sickening to other people but it’s ur favourite thing abt him. he loves hugs and kisses and holding hands and just touching u in general. will randomly come up to u in the house or while ur out w family/friends and wrap u up in the tightest bear hug for no reason other than he wants to love on u. you’ll be talking or just minding ur own business and suddenly he’s smothering ur face in kisses, gripping ur cheeks and just attacking u with his lips and his excuse will just be “cant help it, just so pretty baby”. and saying that he’s so affectionate w his words too. always telling u how gorgeous u are, how nice u look today in those clothes or just randomly compliments u when ur laying abt in the house bc he just needs u to know and never wants u to forget

B = Baby (do they want children?)

so so badly. he has baby fever more than u probably. he always sees his older teammates w their children and it sends him into a spiral bc even tho ur both pretty young he cant wait to start ur own family. he can never concentrate seeing u with children bc it’ll send his mind into overdrive and he’s always telling u how excited he is to finally have kids. probably has a lot planned out already such as how he’d wna decorate their rooms and his favourite names and the two of u probably talk abt it a lot. especially at night when it’s dark and it feels safe to whisper abt ur future together. just snuggling into him and whispering abt which names u like the most and whether they’ll be more like u or more like him and if u should paint their room blue or pink or yellow. i think his favourite thing to do wld be to plan a future that involves kids

C = Cuddles (do they like to cuddle? how would they cuddle?)

he loves cuddles!!! more than anything bc he’s such a big softie and just likes holding u/likes to be held. loves a tight bear hug!! just wraps u up completely in his arms and squeezes, rocks u a little and it’s so comforting to both of u. loves to cuddle in bed too even when ur not sleeping. he’s watching tv and ur reading but he’s on top of u, head on ur stomach while he’s got his arms wrapped around u

D = Dates (do they prefer flashy or casual dates?)

bit of both and it depends on the mood. he adores showing u off and spoiling u rotten so he’ll book expensive restaurants and buy expensive wine and food bc u deserve the best of everything. but bc of his fame sometimes he wants u to himself where u can’t be interrupted or bombarded by fans. so he youse will have a casual cinema date tucked away in the back of the theatre and then eating fast food in ur car parked up in the car park. or just date night at home, just the two of u. cooking dinner or ordering take away, watching movies and smuggling, just super quiet and low key

E = Emotions (are they an emotional person? are they good at expressing themselves?)

we can all agree he’s pretty emotionally mature and he wld be in ur relationship. if something was upsetting him or he wasn’t happy w something he’d tell u bc he’s been taught that talking is always the best way to solve things. he is pretty emotional but he’s not one to hide it, he’ll tell u when he’s sad or when he’s happy and he worn try and hide any of his feelings from u bc he wants u both to be open abt that stuff and there for each other. sometimes he’ll turn to the silent treatment but it wldnt last very long mainly bc he cant cope not talking to u but also bc he realises that it’s stupid and he misses u. he can be very stubborn at times tho so even tho most of the times he’s great at communicating his emotions the odd time his age will really show and his stubborn side will come out. that’s usually what leads to the silent treatment but again it never lasts that long especially when he sees u looking all snug in his hoodie on the bed and he just need to cuddle u. he’d mutter a little apology w kisses and you’d talk it out

F = Feelings (who caught feelings first?)

HIM. he knew u was in deep the second he met u, stumbling over his words and getting all embarrassed, trying to be funny and failing bc he was so nervous. but after a few dates he’d know for certain how much he liked u. making him work for it a little bit and refusing to date him for a while and that just makes him fall for u more but from the get go he likes u so so bad. always flirting, always complimenting u, talking abt u none stop to his family and his friends. he’d talk abt u so much to his mam that she’d know u so well before the two of u even met. him being the one to catch feelings first he’d also be the one to initiate ur first kiss bc he just can’t wait any longer and then after he’d be a giddy little mess and wld have to kiss u again. and again. and again. until ur both giggling and u have to hold him at arms length

G = Gentle (how gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

he’s a baby and a gentle soul in person no matter how angry he gets on the pitch. he’s always so soft and careful with u (unless u ask him not to be) bc he’s aware of how much bigger and stronger he is and he doesn’t wna hurt u. always holds u carefully and kisses u softly until ur demanding more and then ofc he’s complying but if it’s not one of those situations he’s always so gentle with u. he’s always reminding u he loves u too at any given moment, even if ur in the middle of an argument and he can’t leave without making sure he says it

H = Honesty (do they share everything with you?)

yes. ur the first to know anything abt anything bc ur the first person he thinks to call or text or go home to. no matter what it is he tells u, whether it be gossip from the team or his friends or news abt his career he tells u it all. even bad stuff, he shares all of it with u bc he knows you’ll sit and listen and will offer advice if he needs it

I = I love you (who said “i love you” first?)

so even tho he caught real feelings first u were the one to say “i love u” first. saying it after one of this big matches and ur just so so proud of him and the second he’s in front of u u dive at him, wrapping urself completely around him and going on abt how proud u are and then slipping in that little phrase and jude wld think he’d misheard at first. he’d pull away and set u back on ur feet and ask u to say it again and ur smiling so bright at him, taking his cheeks and kissing him so softly while repeating it and he’s just so overwhelmed bc maybe he’s been wanting to say it for a while but he’s been a little scared but now he’s not holding back. smothering ur face in kisses and in between them he’s saying he loves u. just so sweet and cute and neither of u are focused on people around u

J = Jealousy (how jealous do they get? what do they do when they're jealous?)

i feel like he’s very confident in ur relationship and how much u love him so he usually doesn’t get jealous bc he knows if anyone’s coming on to u ur not interested and wld brush them off immediately. but sometimes he can’t help himself, usually if it’s his friends or teammates that have a thing for u bc to him that’s crossing a line. he doesn’t really do anything too drastic, usually just a “subtle” reminder that ur his. will usually wrap an arm around ur shoulder or waist or pull u in for a quick kiss, just something to say “yeah she’s mine u can stop looking now”. it sometimes makes him a little pouty but ur always quick to kiss that away and send him a smile and a reminder that u love him

K = Kisses (where do they like to kiss their partner? where do they like to be kissed?)

loves loves loves giving forehead kisses!!! will just cup the back of ur neck and then dip his head to press his lips to ur forehead. sometimes he’ll linger for a little while and you’ll feel him smile and it’s honestly the cutest thing. does it all the time. to say hello, to say goodbye, to say he loves u, just bc, while he’s laughing over something you’ve said, to placate ur jealousy, as a way of making u feel better if u sad, literally will kiss ur forehead all the time and for so many reasons :(

he likes when u kiss his jaw bc it makes him all fuzzy inside and u often do it before kissing him properly so it’s like a build up. just slowly kissing his jaw until he’s all impatient and then finally slotting ur lips over his and he’ll give this quiet little hum of happiness every single time. also likes when u kiss his thighs, not even in a sexual way (although he does love that). just laying w ur head on his thigh while watching tv or scrolling on ur phone and then you’ll just turn ur head and pepper his thighs in kisses just showing them so much love and he always gets a stupid grin on his face bc he thinks it’s adorable

L = Little ones (how are they around children?)

oh he’s an absolute angel we all know this. is so happy to be around children no matter what, will talk to them, play w them, teach them little football tricks if they ask like he’s just the sweetest and u adore it. if u have little neices/nephews or siblings he’d love being around them, like wld wna babysit all the time and wld have the best time and they’d love him. the way he is w children always makes u broody and he always teases u abt it and jokes that all the babysitting now is to prepare u for future little bellingham’s

M = Morning (how are mornings spent with them?)

some mornings he has to leave before u and if that’s the case he’ll be so so quiet while getting ready and then wld leave with a little kiss on ur head and wld text u immediately after leaving the house to say he’s left and good morning and he loves u :( but if ur able to spend a morning together it’s usually relatively slow. neither of u are morning people so it’s usually quiet, sharing soft kisses and muttered “good mornings” while still tangled in the sheets bc u always take forever to finally get up. when u do u brush ur teeth and everything in silence, jude occasionally squeezing ur hip or nudging u softly in a little loving way. making breakfast together and he’s behind u, arms around ur waist to cuddle into u while u talk quietly abt what ur gna do that day. it generally is just slow and loving and quiet but that’s how u like it

N = Nights (how are nights spent with them?)

SNUGGLES!!!!! nighttime routine together first tho, whether that be showering together or wtv and then doing ur skincare (forcing him to do the same as u bc u wna keep his skin beautiful) before getting ready for bed. he always always puts ur pjs in the dryer while ur doing ur skincare bc he knows u like them to be warm. either snuggling on the sofa w blankets or in bed to catch up on a show ur watching together and he’s got u tucked up against his side, head on his chest and he’s stroking ur arm and ur head and soothing u to sleep. it’s always so slow and soft bc usually u don’t get a lot of time together during the day so nighttime is for the two of u just to relax and bask in each other’s company

O = Open (when would they start revealing things about themselves?)

i feel like it’d take a bit of time at first, not like loads but he’d definitely be a little hesitant at first revealing certain things bc he’s still so unsure if he can trust girls given his fame :( but from the very start you’d make it clear u aren’t interested in any of that and it wldnt take him long to realise and he’d trust u a lot more than he does a lot of people even early on. he’d like u so much from the very first meeting so as soon as he’d figured out he could really trust u he’d have no problems spilling things abt himself, even the most embarrassing of his secrets

P = Parents (do their parents like you?)

oh god yes. like more than they like him and jobe. u and his mam are practically best friends and u always do things w her without jude. always shopping and going out for meals or going to spas and she’s always calling and texting to see if ur okay and jude’s always like??? “hello i’m here too” and she’d just brush him off bc ofc he is but she needs to know how ur feeling today. being just as close to his dad and u and him always bullying jude bc he’s always showing u old baby pics that u can use against ur boyfriend

Q = Quizzes (how much would they remember about their partner?)

every. single. thing. from the very first time u spoke to each other bc he’s been down bad ever since. like remembers things u told him on ur first date and ur like??? how is that even possible. always remembers if u say u like something, even in passing, and then wld get that thing for u and wld act so casual abt it but it means the absolute world to u. being at dinner w friends and they’re offering drinks/food and before u even know what’s going on he’s all “no she doesn’t like that, she’ll have ___ tho” and it’s the exact thing u wld’ve chosen and it makes u all giddy inside how well he knows u

R = Remember (what is their favourite moment in your relationship?)

the first time u went to one of his matches. he remembers being so nervous at first to have u there, tucked in w his family, bc he wanted to impress u and wanted u to see how good he was (as if u didn’t already know🙄). but the second he spotted u he was so giddy, grinning so bright and just wanting to kiss u silly bc u looked so pretty in his shirt. you’d told him that morning that u knew he was gna score bc u could feel it, joking u were a good luck charm and he did score dedicating the goal to u and feeling so happy abt how shy u looked when he pointed ur way. after the match he’d gone and pulled u into a hug and kissed u like he’d been wanting to all match and he’ll never forget ur smile and all the praise u threw his way. u did that after every match following, no matter the outcome, always telling him how proud u are but nothing wld beat that first time

S = Sad (how do they like to be comforted?)

loves back and head scratches :)) if he’s feeling down he doesn’t even really need to tell u bc u can just tell, letting him know he can talk when he’s ready while coaxing him into bed or onto the sofa. he likes when u let him lay on top of u, face tucked away in ur neck ur while u gently graze ur nails over his back and shoulders or over his head :( like i said early he’s good at talking abt his feelings so after a while he’ll eventually tell u what’s wrong bc he knows how good u are at giving him advice or just cheering him up a little bit he won’t move from that position even while ur talking so you’ll spend a good chunk of time just slowly rubbing over his skin until he’s ready to move

T = Try (how much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

he deserves a medal for how much effort he puts into the relationship. even tho he’s a busy boy he still makes sure he’s treating u right. dates are always planned to perfection no matter what they are. he always goes all out on anniversaries and bdays, books time away to ur favourite places as a surprise and buys u the sweetest gifts, often new pieces of jewellery bc he just likes spoiling u. even just day to day he’s so attentive and sweet. leaves little notes on the mirror or fridge if he leaves for training before ur awake, gets ur coffee and breakfast ready so u don’t have to rush when u do wake up. will sometimes bring home ur favourite snacks or something if he’s passed a shop bc he knows the thought alone will make u smile

U = Ugly (what would be some bad habits of theirs?)

he’s a boy and is sooooo messy and doesn’t clean up after himself. definitely leads to arguments when he leaves dishes out or leaves his clothes all over the floor. but then he’ll just flash u that charming smile and give u a kiss and a sickly sweet apology

V = Value (how valuable is your relationship to them? is it a top priority?)

absolutely it’s a top priority. he knows he’s busy and his career means ur apart a lot and he knows that can be difficult but he never lets u think he’s putting that before u. he puts so much effort into making sure u know he loves and appreciates u even if u haven’t seen each other in a while and he’s always inviting u to events and matches so he can keep up w his career and while not neglecting u or ur relationship. if you’ve been apart for a while bc of matches he’ll make sure that as soon as he’s free again u have all his time even if that’s just spending the day at home together

W = Wedding (do they see themselves marrying you?)

yes 100%. he thinks abt it all the time. probably more than u (he’s a massive romantic okay idc). he’s definitely talked to urs and his parents abt it, urs more so in passing as tho looking for approval (which he was given immediately) but w his mam especially he’s talked abt it a lot. he’s looked at rings online a couple of times trying to find which ones he thinks u wld like the most and you’d already told him ur dream destination and he’s looked into it. he’s more than ready for when the time actually comes and ur both ready for the next step. BUT i feel like he’d wna have kids first bc he wants to see them as little flower girls/page boys like nothing wld make him happier than marrying u and having ur children there to see

X = Xylophone (what’s your song?)

mardy bum by arctic monkeys. jude’s always teasing u abt how moody u are sometimes (especially on ur period) and whenever u get in a real mood w him he’d gotten into the habit of playing that song or singing it to u and most of the time it’ll make u laugh, usually bc his singing is so awful. he likes singing it really loud with u in the kitchen even when ur not in a mood, spinning u and dipping u until ur both giggling and almost falling over. mardy bum is also one of his nicknames for u bc of ur love for the song

Y = Yearning (how do they act when they miss you?)

calls and texts u constantly. i’m talking bombards ur phone until u answer and it’ll be w the most pointless messages but u adore it bc u love knowing he’s thinking abt u. he’ll send u updates on what he’s doing, what he’s eaten, pics of things that remind him of u, memes, tiktoks, random “i love u. i miss u” texts. also always asks if u can fall asleep on facetime together sometimes bc he doesn’t wna stop talking to u :( like he really is a big softie. definitely sends u lots of flowers when ur apart w cute little notes attached like “these r pretty and they reminded me of u” he turns into the biggest mush when he misses u

Z = ZZZ (how do they like to sleep)

loves spooning!!!! either big or little he doesn’t care. prefers little spoon after a bad match/bad day bc he likes u to hold him and he always feels safe and loved like that :( but also loves to be big spoon so he can just wrap himself around u and hold u tight, always gives u little shoulder kisses like this while he tells u goodnight. moves abt a lot in his sleep tho so youse never wake up like that the next morning. but he also likes falling asleep w his head on ur chest!! locks his leg around urs and snuggles against ur boobs and asks u to stroke his back or scratch his head and he’ll fall asleep almost immediately bc ur so comforting and cosy to him

[thisgirlnamedblusy]

pspspspspsps here kitty kitty kitty (Joking,... now you laugh) ....

Italian, Fem!Reader, that had traveled briefly to the village, to sell some books, movies, and whatnot -- just to grant the vilagers some sense of like.. the outside world? If that makes sense?

Reader, having already timed their escape, decides to go to that peculiar house up on the hill, across the bridge, before their departure, -- maybe the residents, who, Reader thought, was an old couple, or a very wealthy woman, .. maybe even one of those trust-fund families.. yes! Reader BET that the inhabitant of a place so grand would spend a pretty penny on some foreign knowledge.. maybe, Reader could even upsell. Yes! That would be enough to pay off Readers risky carriage fees.. (nervous laughter)

Reader, ignoring all darkness, all red flags and blatant signs of danger, because, well, Reader is very oblivious, and very optimistic, -- and, well, they barely know English, so, .. how would Reader know what the villagers say about the owner of said.. Oh-so large mansion? Pfft. As if.

'Oh.. its getting dark. Jeez, the trees sure do make this place gloomy!' 'Uhhhh.. why do i have a blaring sense of discomfort, nausea, unease, and a will of fright that makes my stomach churn with instinct to yeet myself the opposite direction? Oh, man, i knew i shouldnt have eaten that un-refrigerated fruit!'

Angie, if i remember that dollies name correctly, answers .. takes one look at Reader, in all of their 'Italian-beauty-standard-fitting', 'italian-book-carrying', 'Donna-language-speaking' glory (Donna language speaking because.. Italian. That was also a joke. Plz laugh), and immidiately, with that screechy voice calls Donna over

Donna fucking FAAAWNNNSSS over everything Reader has, buys their entire stock, then, out of pure gushy-ness, of how nostalgic, and amazing, and flavourful (meaning, how much stuff that Donna was desperately searching for, Reader has in stock) Readers 'for-sales' are, that she, spur-in-the-moment, ushurs Reader inside, makes them tea and whatnot,

well.. so much for Readers plan of escape. Poor bus-maid Reader hired, they thought, as they sat awkwardly beside the lady in black, veiled thickly, who was talking in Italian, since, well, Reader has little to no knowledge of english. Atleast shes also Italian. Thats nice. Wait.. why does Reader feel their cheeks heating up? Gosh, darn it, Reader has read (aha) far too many romance books.

Make it so that, since Reader, who, now, cant escape the Village, since their little plans of flight had been SPOILEDD!! (reference. Chuckles) they stay with Donna, then, after awhile, after teaching Donna everything they know about Italy, and get really comftorable with her, and sees her without her veil on accident, and cooks traditionally, does fucking .. house chores, because, well, they're an unpaying guest in a strangers home, they both start catchin' feelsies and all that sweet stuff. I'll leave the deciding of when and how to you! How generous of me!

(No smut, please. Aroace look'enne for sum intimate, not-so-intimate love. Aha. Joke again. Just a little giggle, please 😨)

Hope ya have an amazing day!! Yes, i know im too descriptive, im just awesome like that. Much apreesh, Anon. 💗

(p.s, thank u blusy 🫂🫂🫂 virtual hugs from italy. ciao bbg.. or.. bbb.. i dont .. i dunno)

Yesss!!!! Well, that was quite long request, but it was funny to write!!! Thank you for sending it and for your funny words!!!! I hope you like it and sorry about the language(s) mistakes!!!!

Foreign Business

Pairing: Donna Beneviento x Fem, Italian! Reader

Warnings: fluff, Donna being Donna

Word count: 8,585

Summary: Should you leave that gloomy village?

N/A: Sorry about the language mistakes!!! Requests are open!!! I'm waiting yours!!! I love you all!!!

“17:30, do you hear me?” the young woman driving the small bus said.

You rolled your eyes and nodded, picking up your stuff.

“I don't think it will… How do you say… take long,” you murmured with an innocent smile, taking out your suitcase as best you could, letting it fall into the snow.

“Hey, stranger,” the girl said, with a gloomy look. “You have to pay me now.”

“Cosa? No, I'll pay you when I get back,” you said with a frown, crossing your arms.

“I'm leaving,” the girl whispered, starting the vehicle again.

“Hey, hey, hey, hey! No, no, no…” you said comically running towards the small bus. “Why are you in such a hurry?”

“Look stranger, it's clear that you have no idea of what’s going on in this place, right?” the driver asked, with a raised eyebrow. You shook your head and smiled innocently.

“Hey, I was invited,” you protested confused, giving up and taking out your wallet.

“Who has invited you?” she wanted to know.

“I have a relative in this country who is also a businessman,” you explained, putting on your coat because of the cold. “He says he is known as… The Duke.”

The girl looked at you curiously, but finally shook her head.

“No idea…” she murmured. “Besides, that doesn’t matter to me. My job is to bring you here and take you back to Bucharest. If for… Well, for whatever reason you don’t come back, I’ll be left without my money, do you understand?”

“Why wouldn’t I come back?” you asked nervously, looking down the hill, where the old village stood in a frozen mist. “I'm just going to sell my stuff and…”

“You bore me,” the driver sighed, with a mocking laugh that made you burn with rage. “Just pay me now, spaghetti.”

“Mm, politeness is not your best virtue, is it?” you murmured, wishing to say other things, other not-so-elegant words.

After all, that stupid girl was your only transportation in that place in the middle of nowhere… You should control your desire to insult her with all your might.

“I'd rather be rude than stupid,” the young woman laughed, extending her hand for you to give her the money you were holding, squeezing it tightly.

“Ugh, here, your money,” you grumbled, getting a satisfied look from the driver, who turned off the engine, reclining her seat and picking up a magazine.

“A pleasure doing business with you, spaghetti...” she sighed with a sinister laugh.

You, without her seeing you, made fun of her, angrily picking up your suitcase and walking towards the path where you had met with the Duke.

“Stupida...” you hissed, shaking your head, observing the landscape around you.

The trip had been exhausting. Dodging the mountains, those snowy landscapes had taken you too much time, but, that seemingly remote place had a special charm that made it worth it.

You were always a saleswoman, descendant of a family of merchants that expanded throughout old Europe decades ago. Sell, buy, repeat… That was your way of life. Trading in the villages of your country, Italy, was something simple for you, perhaps too simple.

The lack of interest of people in the modern world for something as simple as books, films, or any element of culture, had caused your business to falter, and you had no more than four clients in your area.

You always believed in tradition, in following the family legacy, even when circumstances were not in your favour. You could say that you were also a bit stubborn. Your family branched out to all possible places, places like France, Germany, Spain…

They all seemed to be haunted by the same curse, the same lack of interest in a good book, in knowledge itself.

But there was one place, a place where the tentacles of your family had arrived to stay for a long time, a place where the past lived, where present and future seemed not to exist at all.

A distant relative, the Duke, was for you the luckiest member of the family. Not even your parents knew how long that man had been in that village, in Romania. There were even rumors that he never came, that he never left, he had always existed.

Nonsense and legends in your opinion.

What you did know was that in that place, there were some business opportunities.

You had heard many things about the Duke, about the place where he worked. Apart from old superstitions and legends of witches and vampires, things you didn't believe in, you had heard that the people of the place lived completely oblivious to the outside world.

A unique opportunity. How much would a person pay to know what the world around them was like?

You didn't really care much about the reasons, those strange rumors. You didn't even wonder why that village seemed to be frozen in time. The only thing you thought about when you got on that plane was business.

“Qui...” you sighed when you reached that meeting point the Duke marked.

Without having anything else to do but wait, you sorted your merchandise while you studied the snowy forest that surrounded you, trying to decipher the old wooden signs that indicated illegible directions.

“Re-Reser-Reservoir...” you stammered, removing the snow from one of those signs, looking around. “Un bacino idrico?” you asked, scratching your head. “Mm, interessante...”

Yes, maybe if you finished soon you could do some sightseeing and, above all, you could see the enormous castle that seemed to guard the village.

The minutes passed, you couldn't tell if quickly or slowly. Nothing, there was no sign of the Duke. You might not have known what he looked like, but… In reality, you hadn't seen anyone pass by that path.

The cold began to mix with impatience, making you shiver.

“Ah!” you shrieked when, out of nowhere, a flock of black crows appeared, passing over you, close, too close.

Those black birds seemed like an evil omen, but you were too eager to know that place to realize it. Simply, with a proud cough, you stood up from your crouched position, shaking the snow off your dress.

“Uccelli…” you growled furiously, watching how that flock of crows moved away with sinister sounds.

Checking that your merchandise was still intact, you closed your suitcase, crossing your arms, slowly losing patience.

As you sighed for the umpteenth time, you realized that maybe you were in the wrong place. Asking wouldn't do any good, and besides, there was no one you could ask.

“Mm?” you muttered when you noticed something different among your stuff, a sealed envelope that you could swear wasn't there before.

Looking around confused, thinking no way those crows left that envelope, you slowly picked it up, opening it with a frown. As you began to read, you looked nervously at that forest again. It was a letter for you, in the middle of nowhere.

Dear (Y/N)

I'm afraid something unexpected has come up. It prevents me from attending to you, even though I was certainly looking forward for us to meet. I suppose that, since you are my family, to trade in the village on your own won't be a problem for you.

I'm sorry for the inconvenience.

PS: A word of advice, listen to what the villagers tell you, I wouldn't want the wolves to devour you, or anything worse. Please take care of yourself.

Duke

There was no doubt about it, that letter had arrived there by magic. The idea of ​​messenger crows seemed less and less crazy. But the reality was overwhelming: you were alone in that unknown place.

You had two options: You could take your suitcase, walk back in your tracks and go to the bus, writing yet another failure in your diary, a very expensive one. On the other hand, you could ignore those chills, that feeling of being where you shouldn't be and do what you had come to do.

I wouldn't want the wolves to devour you, or anything worse…

That warning seemed like an irony, a little joke that was surely common to all outsiders like you. Well, it's not like it was a place where there could be wolves but… That wasn't the disturbing thing. What could be worse than being savagely devoured by those beasts?

Curiosity or cowardice, that was your dilemma.

With a thoughtful sigh, you looked at those two possible paths, imagining that, under each of them, there was a line of text that told you which page to go to, like those adventure books that offered several possibilities, some of them fatal ones.

You always fantasized too much thanks to those books. Maybe if you had been as rational as the protagonists of those great adventures, you would have considered your possibilities better.

Shrugging, not wanting to have wasted your money on a fruitless trip, you didn’t listen to the Duke's letter. After all, your job was to talk to people, you didn't need his help, or so you thought.

The castle was increasingly imposing as you approached. It was fascinating, a place from a novel, full of possibilities. Surely when you returned home and read one of those books, you would imagine that gloomy and mysterious landscape.

The glances traveled to your eyes passively. These villagers were definitely strange, they seemed to either fear you, or wish you away, you weren't sure.

Unfortunately, your eagerness to offer knowledge to these poor souls was unsuccessful.

Muttering things you didn't quite understand, in an English that was practically incomprehensible to you, which, on the other hand, was bad luck, since you didn't fully master the language either, each one of the doors of those old cabins closed in your face.

“Hey, I haven't even said my name!” you protested after the tenth disinterested grunt from one of the inhabitants of that place. “Cazzo…”

The door opened again and a young woman with an apologetic look appeared.

“Forgive my father. He doesn't trust outsiders,” the young woman said. Well, at least she spoke to you. “My name is Elena.”

“Sono (Y/N),” you said politely, shaking your hand with the young woman's, who frowned upon hearing you speak that way.

“It's clear that you're not a villager,” the girl joked, closing the door.

“No, I'm Italian,” you said, with a business smile that you had already rehearsed.

The young Elena nodded curiously, glancing at your suitcase.

“Are you a merchant?” she asked, pointing at your merchandise.

You nodded slowly.

“Yes, I've come on behalf of a relative... His name is, or he calls himself... Duke,” you explained with a trembling voice. Your nerves couldn't fail you. At least you had managed to talk to someone.

“The Duke?” the girl asked, with a surprised look. “Wow, I didn't know he had a family.”

“Yes, but he seems to be the only one who is successful,” you murmured jokingly, pronouncing the words in the best way possible. “Well... Elena, right? Are you interested in something?”

“No, I'm sorry. I'm afraid we have everything we need,” she said, shaking her head with a kind smile. “My father says that books are a waste of time.”

“Sciocchezze,” you sighed with a mischievous smile, showing her a vinyl record. “What about music? It's the sound of the soul.”

“No, no, I... I'm afraid we don't need anything like that,” Elena shook her head again.

“Oh, great,” you said, letting your smile fade at the thought that you couldn't even get enough money to recoup the investment of the trip.

“Don't be offended, just…” the young woman said, gesturing with her hands to emphasize her apology. “… We just work to live, that's, that's all we do, anything else would be entertainment.”

“Oh,” you said curiously, arching your eyebrows.

“But, um…” the girl said, looking around. “Maybe, maybe I know someone who might be interested.”

“Do you?” you asked.

Elena nodded, briefly pointing to a large house that stood out from the orchards.

“Luiza has always been a very cultured woman, and she is very kind. Maybe she would want to listen to you,” the young woman explained, in a kind tone. You blinked, looking at the indicated place, and smiled. “She lives up there, in the orchards.”

“Elena!” A loud voice was heard inside the cabin and the girl shuddered.

“I'm coming, father!” Elena shrieked, with another apologetic look. “Sorry, (Y/N), but…”

“Oh, of course, there is no… Pro-problem,” you said nervous about the impatience of that unpleasant man. “Luiza… Okay. Ciao!”

At least that girl helped you not to lose hope.

Elena wasn't lying, that Luiza seemed a bit different from the rest of the villagers, kinder, smarter, with an understandable English... It seems that you interested her enough to invite you into her house.

“Wait there, I'll make tea,” she said kindly, indicating that you sit at a table where a man seemed to be sharpening a knife with a distrustful look. After a few tense seconds, the man left his task, looking at you with distrust.

“So you're a merchant...” he whispered, tilting his head and crossing his arms.

“Yes,” you answered, with that well-rehearsed smile.

“And an outsider...” he whispered, with a sinister smile. “Luiza says you are related to the Duke...”

“That's right,” you said, without losing your merchant composure.

He laughed, shaking his head.

“Wow, I didn't know the fat man had a family,” the man said, with the same surprise in his voice as the young woman before. “Where are you from?”

“Italy,” you said proudly, ignoring those dark eyes, which hardened when they heard you answer.

“Italy, you say?” he asked, leaning a little towards you, narrowing his eyes. “You say you're related to the Duke?”

“Y-Yes,” you stammered, confused by that change in attitude.

“Mm, are you sure you're related to the merchant?” he asked suspiciously, making you nervous. “Hey, maybe by any chance you know...”

“Ahem,” Luiza interrupted, serving you the cup of tea. “Marcus.”

“What? I'm just asking, the girl says she's Italian,” the man, her husband, apparently, protested. “You and I know who…”

“Marcus,” Luiza said, with a firmer tone. The man shook his head, sighing in defeat. “Don't scare the poor girl.”

“Bah, if she's not scared yet, she must be brave, or stupid,” Marcus commented, laughing amused. You made an effort to smile at that little joke, smelling the delicious aroma of tea.

“Okay, (Y/N), unlike my husband, I’m interested in those foreign items… Do you have any opera records?”

“Oh, sure, sure,” you said, as if coming out of a confused thought, opening your suitcase and putting on a display of everything you had.

Well, you did manage to sell a few things. You would always be grateful to that woman, the only kind woman in that place, apart from the young girl, of course. But even with that partial success, you didn't have enough to feel like you had succeeded.

If that woman had bought you something, nobody was telling you that there couldn't be more Luizas in that place. You just had to find them.

You were ready to leave that house, when a small book caught your attention. It looked like a book full of old photographs of the village. You approached it with curiosity while Luiza kindly opened the door for you.

“Um, sorry, but... Can I take a look?” you asked, pointing at the book. The woman looked at her husband and he shrugged, making a vague gesture of farewell.

“Of course...” the woman sighed, faking a smile. You returned it gratefully, starting to turn the pages of that album. “This village is an old one.”

“I see,” you commented nodding, turning pages and pages full of snowy landscapes. “My family had told me about this place, but... Well, not much. What is this?” you asked, pointing to a kind of square guarded by four large statues.

“Those are the… The four founders of the village,” Luiza explained. “The Dimitrescu family, owner of the castle; the Moreau family, owner of the lake lands; the Heisenberg family who owned a metal factory on the outskirts of the village, and the… The Beneviento family, the doll makers.”

“Oh,” you sighed interested, not even hearing the names very well, you were more attentive to those old photographs. “Does anyone live in the castle? I'd like to visit it.”

“Um, no, I…” the woman stammered, making you frown. “I don't think you should go near it, (Y/N).”

“Isn't it open to the public? What a pity,” you said with a disappointed voice.

Luiza made a strange gesture, shaking her head.

“Young lady, take some advice from me,” the woman said, speaking in a very low tone, approaching you with a hand on your shoulder. “You must leave this place.”

“Why?” you asked, confused, looking away at another of the photographs, one with a beautiful mansion, guarded by a waterfall.

It quickly caught your attention, even making you ignore the kind woman's warning words.

“Because…” Luiza sighed, with a broken tone, as if she were afraid of something. “It's not the best place for an outsider.”

“Oh, yeah, well,” you said, amused, gesturing with your hand. “I have people skills. That's not a problem. Tell me, is this house in the village?”

“Oh, that house…” Luiza murmured, looking at the same photograph.

“It's impressive,” you said curious. “Does anyone live there?” you insisted, running your hand over the drawing of what looked like a symbol, one with a moon and a sun.

“It's, it's far from here,” the woman commented, closing the album and subtly pushing you towards the exit. “Listen to me, don't go near that place. It's very dangerous.”

You shook your head with wide eyes, pulling your suitcase.

“Everything here seems very dangerous,” you commented with a low voice and a frown. The woman put on a sad look, caressing your cheek in a strange way.

“Go away, (Y/N), go away before the shadows invade you,” Luiza whispered, turning her back on you and closing the door softly, leaving you petrified on the floor.

“Cosa diavolo non va?” you asked yourself with a strange grimace, slowly moving away from the house.

Ignoring these strange warnings, you walked aimlessly through the village, looking for someone who wasn't afraid of your presence, or who wouldn't bow their head, ignoring your greeting.

Tired from your erratic walk, you decided to lean against a stone sculpture, in the middle of another snowy square. Failure loomed in your thoughts, in your mind, wondering if perhaps with the Duke present, things would have been different.

You looked at your watch and sighed, it was still early to leave, and even more so when you had barely sold four things. You had to make an effort, either that, or try another nearby village.

The crows flew above you like a bad omen that you couldn't interpret. The sky was dark, gloomy.

Don't let the shadows invade you...

Luiza's words echoed in your ears, words you didn't know how to interpret, or rather, that you didn't want to interpret. You were in a different country, in a different culture, lost in that snowy, sinister village. Even though you believed that nothing could go wrong, a bad feeling began to haunt you.

Yes, maybe it was time to leave.

You stood up with a defeated gasp, shaking your head, depressed by your ridiculous failure. But, you had barely taken two steps when something caught your attention.

In front of you was a wooden door, a kind of fence that separated a private property. Above the frame, there was a symbol, one that you remembered having seen before: that moon and that sun.

Your mind was left thinking. Yes, surely that would be the way to the waterfall house. It had to be. Luiza warned you to not get too close but… Curiosity was calling you.

Okay, it wasn't a huge castle but… Still, that mansion couldn't belong to just any villager. The curious relationship of wealth, bigger houses and kindness that you found in the village made you think that maybe someone rich lived there, a person or family with enough money to think about leisure or wisdom.

“Mm,” you murmured curiously, approaching that place, looking at that symbol closely. The door was open. You almost thought you heard whispers that encouraged you to enter that dark path.

You swallowed when a cold breeze came out of that darkness. Your body trembled for no reason, but your mind was blinded by greed. You couldn't miss that opportunity to know what or who was on the other side, who lived in that place.

The sunlight illuminated the path you had to follow with increasingly less intense rays. Slowly, you followed that luminous advice, entering through the wooden door, walking towards the unknown.

It didn't seem like a very strange place, or so you thought. The trees seemed sad, that place seemed devoured by time. Strange objects hung from the almost rotten branches, which you passed by without flinching.

You simply kept your mind busy, like a danger blocking mechanism that seemed to alert your subconscious. Instead of worrying, when you saw that those things hanging from the trees were dolls, you simply whistled, making your way through the branches with a slow walk.

You passed an old wooden bridge, one that said: go away in all possible languages. You were never good at interpreting those words, those screams from your mind that demanded your attention.

The sunlight diminished as you walked, it was getting dark. The branches of the trees drew disturbing shadows that surrounded a pair of ruined cabins.

“Brr,” you shivered when you saw those wooden claws stalking you.

The smile never left your face, but your body began to notice the symptoms of that inner fear; a dizziness, a feeling of heaviness in your stomach... All of these were physical signs that seemed to want to stop you in your tracks.

You even thought that the tea or the fruit you ate at Luiza's had upset your stomach. No, you didn't see the danger in any way, or rather, you didn't want to see it.

Finally you reached a clearing, where a mound showed a sinister grave you didn't want to approach. Your stupidity and your desire for wealth were so strong that you thought it was perhaps a simple decoration.

“Un ascensore...” you murmured when you reached a red door, surely the entrance to that curious mansion.

Biting your lip, you rubbed your hands entering those metal bars. Of course, whoever lived in that place had to have a lot of money, and, above all, a great desire to spend it. You fantasized about what you were going to find: a rich family? A widow, perhaps? A wealthy man? Maybe one of the founders of the village’s descendants? It didn't matter who it was, but you could smell money from miles away.

When you got out of the elevator, the sight in front of you forced you to stop. There was that house, that huge house with a beautiful waterfall next to it.

“If this doesn't work, I'm leaving the business,” you said, rehearsing in your head the phrases to say to the inhabitant of that place, greetings, smiles, all your charms.

The sound of the falling water relaxed you, although you didn't know why you were even nervous. The word danger whispered in your mind like a premonition or intuition, but you let the waterfall completely eclipse it. The beauty of that place couldn't entail any danger, you were convinced.

You cleared your throat as you approached the door, slowly climbing the steps. At the moment, there was nothing that matched Luiza's warnings, nothing, until, before you could knock on the door, it opened with an ominous creak.

“Um, hello?” you asked, seeing how, in front of you, there was nothing but a beautiful wooden room, with a rocking chair that moved by itself. “Ciao...” you repeated in a lower voice.

There didn't seem to be anyone in that place and you sighed, relaxing your shoulders and looking around.

“Oh!” you squealed in fear when you looked down, where, what looked like a ventriloquist's doll was standing looking at you. “Oh... Cazzo... What...” you said upset. “Good... Good trick...”

Smiling, thinking that, like the gravestones in the clearing, this was just a joke, you crouched down curiously, looking at that puppet.

“Hello?” you repeated, standing up again and ignoring the doll, which, perhaps because of the accumulated fatigue, you thought was following you with its gaze.

“Down here, stupid!” a high-pitched screech scared you again, making you fall backwards, tripping and crashing your body against the hard stone of the porch.

But neither the pain of the fall nor the fright were the worst. Yes, you were not dreaming, if it was a joke, it was the best one you had ever seen.

That doll, that damn doll moved, moved its articulated mouth, laughing out loud.

“Who are you?” the puppet asked, approaching your collapsed body. You backed away scared, crawling until you reached those small steps.

“Ahhh! Una bambola parlante!” you shrieked in fear, standing up as quickly as possible with your hands in front of your body.

“Who are you calling a talking doll, you silly, silly?” the puppet asked.

No, there was no doubt. There were no strings, no ventriloquist, it was alive.

“Ah, io, io… What?” you stammered nervously, shaking your head, blinking hard to make what was undoubtedly a hallucination go away. It didn’t.

“Wait, wait, wait, can you repeat that?” the doll said, approaching with a comical step. “What did you just say?”

“Cosa?” you asked, grabbing your suitcase, ready to run away. “Sorry, I… No, no… What?”

“You called me a talking doll,” it said, crossing its arms.

 You nodded confused.

“I'm, I'm, I'm sorry... No, no...” you stammered, still shocked and scared by the impossibility of that old toy. It couldn't move, it just couldn't.

“Who are you?” it asked again. “Why do you know Italian?”

“I-I-I'm Italian,” you stammered, shaking your head.

The doll tilted its head curiously, looking you up and down.

“You're a long way from home, you silly Italian,” the doll commented in a mocking tone.

You blinked again, scratching the back of your neck, searching all over the doll for the mechanism that was supposed to make it behave like that. You didn't find it.

“I-I'm a merchant,” you said with a broken voice. The doll nodded, walking towards you quickly, climbing up your dress. It was too close, you couldn't move.

“Merchant?” it asked again, looking at you as if it was reading your soul. “What do you sell?”

“I sell… I sell… Books and… Vinyl and… Movies…” you explained when the doll finally got off your body, without taking those cold eyes off you.

“Books and movies?” the puppet asked.

You, nervous, still scared, nodded erratically.

“Do you have Italian stuff?”

“S-Sure I have,” you whispered in a small voice.

“Mm,” the doll murmured turning around, but looking at you several times before disappearing into the darkness of the mansion. “Donna, Donna! You have to see this, come, come!”

“Donna?” you asked yourself, gathering enough courage to walk back to the door, where, after a few seconds, the sound of heels approached.

In front of you was a woman, a woman dressed completely in black, with a veil covering her face. She had a stoic pose, she emanated danger, and even more so when you saw that she was holding the doll in her arms.

Even if she was the most experienced ventriloquist in the world, she could never have done that, it was simply impossible.

“She's pretty, huh, Donna?” the doll said, nudging the lady, who sighed tiredly. “An Italian beauty knocking on your door, not even in your dreams could you imagine something like that.”

“Angie…” A hoarse, dark voice came out of that black veil while the woman lowered the doll to the floor. It laughed amusedly, staring at you again.

“Um, well…” you murmured confused, with your gaze fixed on that black veil, on those invisible eyes that you knew were watching you. “H-Hello…”

There was no answer. The lady didn't even seem to be bothered by your words.

“Um… I'm… I'm (Y/N),” you said, putting fear aside and politely extending your hand towards her, who looked at it briefly, without returning your greeting. “No? Okay… Well…”

“I'm Angie!” the doll shrieked, grabbing your hand instead of its owner and shaking it roughly. “Nice to scare you!”

“H-Hello… Suppongo…” you whispered, still confused but, mysteriously, more relaxed.

“Forgive her, she doesn’t like to talk,” the doll explained, pointing at its owner in a mocking way. “Shall I tell you a secret? She's Italian too.”

“Oh, really?” you asked, looking at the lady, who nodded briefly. “Che strana coincidenza…”

“Perché strana?” that hoarse voice asked again, the voice of that mysterious lady.

“Oh, well…” you said embarrassed, of course, that doll hadn't lied to you. “No, it's nothing…”

“Che vuoi?” the lady in black asked again, her tone lighter, but reflected impatience.

“I'm, I'm a merchant,” you said again, trying to smile, making a superhuman effort to make that strange situation stop being so strange.

After all, she was the inhabitant of that place, and she was also Italian. The business seemed to call you…

“She sells a lot of things, Donna!” the doll shrieked, pointing at you. “Things you like!”

“Mm,” the woman in black murmured, looking over your shoulder at the merchandise. “Me li può mostrare?”

“Oh, sure, sure…” you said nervously, heading towards your suitcase and opening it on the floor, closely followed by that strange doll, which didn't seem to want to leave you alone.

“Look, Donna, your favorite record!” the doll squealed, rummaging through the merchandise without any kind of hesitation, under your watchful gaze, and hers.

The lady took that vinyl, observing it carefully. You almost thought you heard a slight laugh coming out of that veil.

“È, it's a special edition,” you murmured when you saw how interested she seemed to be. “You, you know… Come prima… Più di prima…” you sang in a timid and horrible way.

The veiled lady looked up with a sigh.

“Are you also a singer?” she asked with a weak, whispering voice.

You laughed nervously shaking your head, with your cheeks slightly blushed.

“No… The truth is, I’m not… Although, although they've always told me that I have a beautiful voice,” you said timidly, looking sideways as Angie rummaged through the books.

“Mm,” the lady murmured with disinterest, looking at the vinyl again.

“Donna, Donna! Nonna's favorite book!” the doll squealed, handing her one of your books in perfect condition. “Look, look, this one isn't broken!”

“I have that one on sale… If, if you're interested… Donna, right?” you said with your voice cracked by nerves, playing with your sweaty hands.

“Donna? Lady Beneviento for you, silly!” the doll snapped at you, in a haughty tone.

“Beneviento?” you asked involuntarily, knowing that you had heard that name somewhere.

Of course you heard it. Like a whisper of help, your mind recalled Luiza's words, those that explained to you the families who had founded the village. Of course, that Donna Beneviento was an important person in that place. Despite everything strange, your greed took precedence, she seemed truly interested in what you were selling.

The mysterious woman nodded slowly, leafing through that book with curiosity.

“I’m sorry, Lady Beneviento,” you said elegantly, lowering your head. You knew she was not an ordinary villager and therefore, you could not treat her as such.

“Vieni,” she whispered, gesturing for you to enter the house.

You nodded nervously, closing your suitcase and pulling it into the mansion, with an extra weight. That living doll had climbed on top of it, swinging its legs in a playful way.

“Hey, do you mind?” you said nervously. The doll, obviously, shook her head.

You groaned, still in disbelief, and when you looked again you saw something strange.

There was a portrait, a portrait hanging on the wall of the stairs. On it, there was a woman, a really beautiful, gorgeous woman with a pale face, serious eyes and black hair. Next to her, there was that puppet, the Angie doll. Would she be the lady?

Lady Beneviento cleared her throat, getting your attention, letting you know through her non-verbal language, that she didn't want you to look at that portrait. You decided to be good and obey.

“Sit down, I'll make some tea and we'll talk business,” the woman whispered, pointing to a cozy corner of that house.

“Sure... Yes, um... Thank you,” you said with a kind smile.

The woman in black looked at you for an almost awkward moment and then turned around, walking slowly towards a hallway. You followed her with your eyes until she disappeared.

It was a strange situation indeed. Perhaps you should have listened better to your survival instincts.

After what seemed like an eternity, the lady returned, serving you a cup of tea with an elegant gesture and sitting in front of you.

“Grazie…” you whispered with a grateful smile, blowing on the steaming liquid. “Truth be told, I didn't expect to find someone who spoke my language… I've never been good with English.”

“You seem to speak it quite well,” she commented, with a regal pose, barely moving, not letting anyone see for a moment what that black veil was hiding.

“I have no choice, I guess,” you sighed, shaking your head.

“Do you trade all over Europe?” she asked curiously as you opened your suitcase again, your hands shaking.

You weren’t there to chat. You had gone to do business. You couldn’t forget that.

“No, I… Well, I used to trade only in Italy,” you explained with a sad smile.

“Where in Italy are you from?” she asked again as Angie, with the suitcase open again, rubbed her wooden hands, rummaging through your stuff with an evil laugh.

You looked back at the lady, a bit confused.

“Da che parte d’Italia vieni?” the lady repeated with a slightly darker voice. “Nord, sud…?”

“Oh, yes, Well… I was born in the city of… This may seem like a joke to you but… I’m from the city of Benevento,” you said with a shy smile.

 You didn’t want her to think you were laughing at her. It was just a stupid coincidence.

“Mm, why would I think it's a joke?” she asked, with a tired sigh.

“Well, because of your… Your last name… It's quite similar, isn't it?” you said with a fake smile. “Are you from around there?”

“No,” the lady answered dryly, without bothering to shake her head. “I was born here.”

“Oh, okay…” you murmured, glancing at the doll, who was shuffling through your books. “Hey, um… be careful…” you said to the doll, who made a mocking gesture, imitating your voice in an unpleasant way. “Hey, la, la bambola…”

“Angie”

“Yes, Angie…” you repeated with a frown. “Why is she alive?”

“That's none of your business,” she said, with a cold voice, one that ran through your nerves, putting them on alert again.

“O-Okay, sorry,” you murmured, looking down.

“Do you have Italian movies?” she asked after a tense moment, one that you took advantage of to hide your embarrassment in the teacup. “Film.”

“Oh, yes, yes of course…” you said nervously, reaching for the suitcase, rummaging through your messy things due to the Angie doll, who protested with a grunt at your hand. “I have a lot of these.”

“Mm?” the lady murmured, looking at the cover confused, opening it and taking out the disc. “What is this?”

“A, a movie,” you said, clearing your throat. “A DVD.”

“DVD…” she whispered, looking at her reflection in that shiny disc, visibly confused. You couldn't believe she didn't know it. That village was definitely stopped in time. “I'm sorry, I'm afraid I don't understand you.”

“Um, well…” you said, scratching the back of your neck, wondering how you were going to explain that to this mysterious woman. She didn't seem to be joking, at all.

“Hey, it's like a mirror!” Angie squealed, climbing onto her owner's lap and comically looking at herself in the disc, turning it curiously. “I want one, Donna, I want one!”

“Ugh, va bene…” the lady whispered, putting the DVD back in its place and handing it to the doll, who jumped victoriously. “It's still not what I'm looking for.”

“What… What are you looking for?” you asked, flashing your fake saleswoman smile again.

“Don't you have any 28mm rolls?” the woman wanted to know.

You nodded confused.

“Yes… But, but they are, they are special, I mean, I mean… They are… They are molto costose, you know… They are, they are almost museum relics,” you said, taking a metal box out of the suitcase and opening it, displaying its contents.

“Fine, I want them,” she murmured, nodding and snatching the box from your hands. “Money is not a problem.”

Well, that phrase fostered a more sincere smile on your face.

“Va bene… It is…” you said nervously, taking out a notebook in which you wrote down your sales.

“I'm not finished,” she interrupted you, leaving the box on the floor. “I also want those books.”

“Those? Which ones?” you asked confused by her vague description.

“All of them,” the lady said abruptly, leaving you glued to the seat. “I've been asking the Duke for that classic novel collection for a long time.”

“The Duke? Oh, well, I'm related to him,” you said smiling, taking the books out of the suitcase and leaving them on the table.

“You?!” Angie asked in a shrill voice, getting too close to you again. “Come on! You don't look like that fat greasy guy!”

“Fat greasy guy?” you asked amused. “Well, I don't really know him, but it seems that in this village you do it quite well.”

“Oh, yes, he's a scammer!” Angie shrieked laughing amused. “Isn't he, Donna?”

“Mm…” the lady nodded, distracted by the books.

That scared you.

“Oh, I… I'm not like him. I'm always fair with prices and… Cazzo, don't think I'm trying to rip you off or anything like that… Cazzo.”

“Do you mind stopping talking like that? I don't like rude girls,” Donna snapped at you, with a dangerous, annoyed tone.

“I'm, I'm sorry, it's just that... Well, I'm not used to being understood,” you explained with a different blush, one that was accentuated when a shy laugh came out of her veil.

“It was just a joke,” she said amused, more relaxed, surely fascinated by that collection of books she was looking for so much. “Do you want some more tea?”

“Oh, yes, per favore,” you said, extending your cup towards the teapot, with a calm smile.

“I still don't know what a girl like you is doing in a place like this...” she whispered after a moment of calm silence, one that served to, little by little, get you used to that sinister atmosphere, and that doll.

“It's a long story...” you sighed, leaning back on the old sofa.

“I have time,” she said, with the same tone as you. “I'm sure you'll appreciate having a chat in your native language, right?”

“S-Sure…”

As if you had suddenly forgotten what you were doing there, or how much time you had left to leave, you began to chat calmly with that strange woman.

At first she seemed gloomy, reluctant to hold any kind of conversation but… As you explained everything that led you to the village, your concerns, your goals… Well, her attitude relaxed quite a bit.

The short, dry sentences turned into a soft voice, into shy laughs from time to time. It seemed that she had gained some confidence with you, or so that living doll hinted. After your hectic trip through Romania, a chat in your language effectively lifted your spirits, it was almost like feeling at home.

On the other hand, that erratic behavior of the lady in black never ceased to surprise you. Like the rest of the villagers, she seemed not to understand or comprehend very well the outside world, the time in which you lived.

To your surprise, she had never even set foot on Italy. Yes, her family came from there, but, incredibly, Donna had never been there. But that was not the only thing that was curious, so were the words that claimed she had never left the village.

It might seem that this woman, with money, with power, from an important family, had little or no interest in traveling, in leaving this sinister time capsule.

But that was not the case. Her words were full of sadness, her sighs, that nostalgia with which she listened attentively to your words... It seemed as if deep down she wanted to leave, as if, for some reason, her stay in the village was some kind of condemnation for her.

The mansion grew darker as time went by as you talked, sharing impressions, tastes, hobbies… It was almost as if you had just met a friend, a friend with an interesting voice, with a beautiful body, with a subtle but intoxicating lavender perfume…

Your cheeks betrayed those erratic thoughts about the lady in black and you shook your head several times.

You, a cultured girl, a fan of romance novels, always tended to idealize that kind of situations. You didn't want to believe in love at first sight, but you certainly didn't know what it felt like, if it was even possible.

No, no, no, no… You couldn't think about that, despite how attractive Lady Beneviento was to you. Everything had an end, and sooner than you would have liked, yours came.

Sighing, finishing your last cup of tea, you looked at the clock and almost choked.

“Oh, cazzo!” you said hurriedly, getting up from the sofa. “5 o'clock, if I don't hurry…”

“What's wrong?” the lady in black asked, getting up too, playing nervously with her hands.

“I'd love to stay and chat but… If I don't make it to that stupida’s bus, she will leave without me and…” you explained, gathering that was left in your suitcase. Donna had bought almost everything without thinking about it.

“Are you going to leave?” she asked in a whisper, with a voice that, at least to you, seemed sad.

You looked at her and nodded with a polite smile, extending your hand towards her, a hand that, this time, she shook briefly.

Damn, her hands were very soft…

“It's been nice meeting you, Donna,” you said kindly, turning around to walk towards the hall.

“Are you going to let her just leave? Silly Donna…” you heard the doll whisper in an indiscreet manner.

“W-Wait, wait a moment,” the nervous lady said, running to meet you, making her veil move, inducing your mischievous eyes to look at what was underneath. “D-Do you really have to go?”

“Yes,” you said with a confused look, totally innocent.

“W-Wait, I… I…” she murmured, approaching slowly. “It's dangerous to go out at night.”

“Hey, can someone explain to me what it is that scares you so much about this place? And why are there living dolls?” you asked with an impatient tone, remembering each of the villagers' warnings.

“I'll explain everything to you, but, but only if you stay with me a little longer, just a little longer,” the lady said, in a tone that sounded curiously desperate. “Per favore…”

“Please, please!” the doll repeated in a shrill tone.

“Um…” you stammered, unable to find an answer, a desire to stay that you knew existed. But that village had already given you so much trouble, you wanted to leave, but at the same time, you didn't.

Damn senseless crush… How can you even know if you really liked that woman?

“Okay,” you said, letting your words speak for themselves, sighing as you looked at your wristwatch, knowing that, even if you ran, you wouldn't make it to the bus on time. “Hai un telefono?”

The lady nodded, pointing to a small table.

You walked slowly past her, checking how, in a disturbing way, the doll and owner followed you with their gaze.

“Irina?” you asked when someone finally answered, after a few tense moments.

“Oh spaghetti, it's you!” the driver of the bus screamed. She seemed agitated, as if she was running away from something, or so you sensed, there was too much interference. “You have to… Help me! Wolves… Monsters…! Call the… Lice!”

“Cosa? I don't understand you, are you okay?” you asked with a frown, that stupid girl seemed to be in danger.

“No…! No…! Mother Miranda!”

After those screams, the call was interrupted, leaving you disoriented. Seeing you like that, Donna approached, taking the phone from your hand and hanging it slowly, as if somehow those screams hadn't surprised her.

“It seems that there are some connection problems,” Angie mocked, laughing, but stopping when the lady suddenly looked at her, as if she had said something she shouldn't. “Oops…”

“I think she wanted me to call the police… Who is Mother Miranda?” you asked confused, with your heart racing.

“She’s the leader of this village,” Donna murmured, with a somber voice. “But don't worry, she won't hurt you, I won't allow it.”

“Hurt? Um, hey, Donna, I think, I think Irina was in trouble,” you said nervously, focused on finding out what had happened.

“You'll be in trouble if you go out at night, silly! You have to stay here!” Angie yelled at you, pointing comically at the floor.

“Oh, no, no, I don't want to disturb you,” you said with a trembling voice.

Your intuition wasn't wrong at all, but... In that house, you didn't seem to be in danger.

“You're not disturbing me, I like your company,” Donna said, with her hands in front of her body, with an elegant posture, unfazed by what seemed to be the death of the bus girl. “Do you want...? Do you want to cook something for dinner?”

“Oh, um, yes, dinner... Um...” you said confused, nodding without really knowing why. “Va...Va bene...”

As if you had forgotten what had happened, as if that call hadn't taken place, you went down to that dark basement with the lady in black and started cooking. It was a fun, entertaining time.

You both shared your own recipes, your special ways of doing things. Your mind had forgotten about going home, it had forgotten where you wanted to go, why you wanted to leave. The only thing you knew was that you wanted to stay with that dark Italian Lady. You wanted to talk to her, laugh with her.

Yes, you started to believe in love at first sight, you had no doubt that it existed, you were experiencing it.

Day and night began to dance before your eyes, the sun and the moon. How long had you been there? You didn't know. Had it been days, weeks, months? You weren't sure.

Cooking, reading, watching those movies… Any excuse was good enough to forget about your problems, to forget you had a place to go back to.

 Maybe darkness had invaded you but… You had become addicted to her, to Donna Beneviento, to that strange woman and her doll, to her voice, her words, her laughter… To the lavender of her perfume…

“Sale,” Donna said, extending her hand so you could give her the jar she needed while, like so many days, like so many times, you cooked with her.

A curious routine, cooking, cleaning, sewing… Something that your own conscience used as payment for being a guest who didn't pay for her stay but… Were you really a guest? What were you?

“I've never seen anyone making pasta,” you said curiously, leaning your elbow on the counter. Donna laughed amused, shaking her head. “Well, my grandmother usually…”

“You say I'm like your grandmother?” she joked, kneading calmly.

“No, not at all,” you said, amused, looking hypnotically at that curious dough. “I buy it ready-made, it's easier and faster that way.”

“Chi va piano…”

“Va lontano…” you finished, smiling again, with that damn blush on your cheeks. “It's true, you're right, Donna.”

She glanced at you briefly, giving you another of her beautiful laughs. You were so dazed that nothing mattered anymore, only waking up in that guest room again, only going downstairs to share moments with her, only her, only Donna mattered to you.

“Wait, let me help you,” you said, picking up one of the flour sacks and putting it on the counter with a loud thud, raising a thick cloud of white dust. “Cazzo! Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!”

The lady coughed, brushing the flour away with her hand, clearing her vision. It could be a comedian or a dangerous one, you didn't quite know. Her little apron was unable to stop all the flour, which landed on Lady Beneviento, including her veil.

“Tutto bene?” you asked timidly, brushing the dust out of your hair.

“Sì,” the woman in black murmured, accidentally removing her veil, shaking it in front of your wide-open eyes.

When she realized the mistake she had made, the mistake of showing you her face, she gasped nervously, shaking her head.

You stood petrified, admiring every inch of her beauty, a hidden one, one that you only sensed and you had just confirmed. No, a stupid scar couldn't be that important, it wasn't capable of hiding anything, of overcoming her beauty.

“Non… Non…” she whispered, turning around and covering her face with her hands. “Non guardami!”

“Donna, wait, wait…” you said nervously, putting a hand on her shoulder. “Don’t, don't cover yourself, You are… Sei bellisima…”

“No, no, no…” she repeated, nervously, pushing away your comforting hand. “Sei una bugiarda!”

“I'm not lying, Donna, really, I…” you said, trying to reason with those incipient sobs, with the trembling of her body.

“Now you'll want to leave… You'll make me hurt you!” she shrieked, completely out of control. You shook your head, ignoring that dangerous last sentence.

“Shh,” you whispered softly, turning her around, taking advantage of a slight moment of weakness. “I won't leave, I like being here.”

“No… Non é vero…” she said, moving away from your gaze.

You snatched the veil from her so she couldn't put it back on and, without thinking, you launched yourself at her lips, kissing them fiercely, just as you had wanted to do for a long time, you didn't know how long.

“Donna…” you sighed when you pulled away from the kiss, a messy kiss that she had a hard time joining.

Finally she did, caressing your cheeks, mouth agape by that sudden reaction, one that she was apparently also waiting for.

“You have come into my life like a savior, like a light that has passed through the darkness…” she whispered, kissing you again, losing that fear, that cowardice, the fear of being discovered, of you seeing her wounded face.

What Lady Beneviento didn’t expect, is that you would feel something for her.

“Per favore…Non partire…Rimani con me…Per sempre…” she murmured while your lips caressed each other, while the warmth of that unexpected love slowly passed through your body, until it reached your heart.

“Per sempre…”

[graysnetwork]

What kind of dads I think the 141 tf would be

༻━━━━༺❀༻━━━━༺

𝒥𝑜𝒽𝓃 '𝒮𝑜𝒶𝓅'  𝓜.

❀ Deffo a girl dad

❀ He has three girls with you and always rough housing with them—throwing them in the air and doing anything to make his little girls giggle

❀ ALWAYs giving you heart attacks with the trick he does with them

Once pushed his daughter abruptly into the pool after swimming lessons to see if they payed off (they did)

Then one of your daughters wanted to try a yoga tick and she definitely flipped when she wasn't supposed to.

❀ Always trying to make them happy

Takes them to the daddy daughter dances, takes them on daddy–daughter dates

Buys them anything they want whether it be food to the latest toy

❀ Takes pictures of them all the time!!! What can he say, he likes proof

❀ After a year of taking a break from kids you two try again and finally he gets a boy

He’s so excited

𝒮𝒾𝓂𝑜𝓃 '𝒢𝒽𝑜𝓈𝓉’ 𝓡.

❀ Girl dad all the way!

❀ Obsessed with his little girl and never lets her out of his sight.

❀ Gets teary eyed when she grows every month

❀ He was hesitant to have a kid but you two got the case of baby fever (and horniness) and made one. Now he's in love.

❀ Cherishes her and makes sure she's always happy.

❀ The burly man is suddenly so gentle and always doing peek-a-boo to make her smile

❀ You two wait at least three years to have another kid

Now he’s a girl and boy dad!

❀ Makes sure to treat the two of them so well and make sure they never experience what he did when he was little.

❀ Even with his son hes gently

Sees how Soap plays with his daughters and has a heart attack at the thought of them being in the air

But when his son grows up a bit and starts getting more “tough” (aka punching Simon with his little fists and Simon just thinks it his muscles spasming until he turns around and sees the little guy) he starts playing with him somewhat more rough.

Teaches him Krav Maga

Takes him to the shooting range (only after hes 15)

Also teaches his daughter Krav Maga and gives her enough self protection items to protect herself and the whole school

❀ He tries to not over do it but he's always spending his money on them (and u obvi)

❀ Takes them by base sometimes just to meet their “uncles.”

❀ He just loves them so much

𝒥𝑜𝒽𝓃 𝒫𝓇𝒾𝒸𝑒

❀ Girl dad.

❀ Doesn't have a boy—wouldn't be mad if he had one but he doesn't care, hes ecstatic with his two girls.

❀ Cherishes those precious little girls with his whole heart

❀ Very strict and tells them once they can understand words that they cant date until they turn 30

When they grow up it gets annoying but he's very insistent that they cant date—at least not in high school

❀ He does all the things “normal families do” when he's back home

Disneyland trips, road trips, dinners anywhere the family wants

Speaking of dinners—everyone votes which restaurant sounds the best and that's where you guys go

❀ Almost cries every first day of school

Always posting/sharing photos in family and friend gc’s to show off his daughters achievements

Example:

Price: (Photo of him next to his daughter after getting an award) My daughters amazing

Ghost: 👍

Soap: good kid, congrats

Gaz: let her know we’re proud!

❀ If he posts a picture i believe the caption would go: My little girl is always putting in the work! Best student I know!

He’s always having proud dad moments 🥺

𝒦𝓎𝓁𝑒 "𝒢𝒶𝓏" 𝒢.

❀ Two boys and then one girl

❀ Loves all of them so much!

❀ He’s always teaching them new things

​​He’s a teaching dad

Teaches them how to cook, play sports, bake, swim, ect.

❀ Takes them to sports events and concerts

He’s the kind of guy whos always giving them reasons to post pics

❀ Soaps a cool dad but he's a rowdy cool, Kyle on the other hand is cool chill dad

His kids are never embarrassed by him and their friends also love him

❀ (He’s the dad who the moms like)

❀ Not as strict on his kids but he is very protective

❀ He also teaches his kids self defense

༻━━━━༺❀༻━━━━༺

[vilapollo-arts]

keeping him awake

pairing: Xavier x gn!reader

tags: mdni, established consent, s*mno, blowjob, Xavier calls you pretty, creampie, not beta read/edited

You’re lucky that your shift has already ended early for the day. The sun had already begun to set so you immediately stopped by the grocery store to buy some ingredients. You decided to also stock up your pantry since someone has been sneaking into your apartment and get their grubby hands on your snacks.

“I should probably also cook for him,” you mumble to yourself. “I bet that man just slept all day.”

After paying for your items, you immediately get home and start cooking up a simple dinner. You’ve been eating take outs for the past week so you decided that today is the day you finally get to eat a home cooked meal. While cooking, you send Xavier a quick message that you’re currently cooking dinner.

He immediately responds back, to your surprise, “I cant wait. Im just about to hop into the shower”

As soon as you read that last sentence, you bit your lower lip, imagining your boyfriend naked and steamy from the shower. You feel the heat in between your legs growing the more you think about getting in bed with him.

Both of you have been so busy with your missions that it's been a while since you've slept in the same bed. You miss the way his voice whispers your name. You miss his warmth. You miss him.

Your phone dings once again, interrupting your thoughts. “I missed U. I cant wait to have U all for myself tonight”

This dinner couldn’t cook itself any faster, huh?

You send a reply back, “I’ll just finish up our dinner and head over to your apartment right away.”

You return your full attention back to the dinner you were making, which is a completely difficult task, considering how uncomfortable your underwear is getting already.

Once you’re done cooking, you decide to also take a shower while it cools down for a bit. When you’re done, you transfer the food to another container before heading to Xavier’s apartment. You decide to just use your own key to the apartment to let yourself in.

The lights in the kitchen and the living room are both on. Even the fan was on in the living room.

“Xavier?” you call out as you head into the kitchen.

There’s no answer.

You set the bowl down on the island before heading into the living room. You turn off the fan. He’s not here either. You decide to head towards his bedroom. Before entering, you knock lightly. The only response you get is the light snores coming from the other side of the door.

You decide to let yourself in. As soon as you open the door, you see him lying on his bed with nothing but his boxers on. His sweater and sweatpants are right beside him. You’re guessing that this man was in the middle of putting on clothes when he fell asleep. But that thought is immediately abandoned when your eyes travel down his body.

His boxers are bulging. It’s as if it’s gonna be ripped at any second from how hard his cock is. Even some of his precum is leaking through the cloth.

You swallow as you slowly approach Xavier's figure on the bed. You bend down and slip a finger under the garter. You pull it down, which is a bit of a hard task with how his cock is straining the boxers. His cock slaps against his stomach as soon as you get his boxers down to his knees.

The breath shivers as you become painfully sore down there, impatient of what's to come. You kneel on the floor and take his long shaft in your hands before starting to stroke it slowly. You collect your saliva on your tongue and spit it on the head of his cock. You spread the mixture of your spit and his precum all the way down to the base of his cock. You pull his boxers down completely and discard it behind you before putting your attention back to his cock.

It’s so hard and the tip is almost like an angry red. The thought of his cum exploding inside you while you’re riding him while he’s fast asleep almost makes you cum as you press your lips on the tip. It twitches in your hand as your lips start to slowly envelop his girth. His scent and taste consumes your senses. While the pain in between your legs keeps growing, you want to feel his cock in your mouth first. You want to hear him moan while you facefuck yourself onto his cock while he’s asleep. You need to know that you can pleasure the man with your mouth alone even in his sleep.

Suddenly, you hear Xavier groan. Your eyes flick to the expression on his face to see whether he’s awake. His eyes are still closed but his lips are now parted, taking in heavy breaths. This alone urges you on to further push his cock into your mouth. The more his cock gets pushed down your throat, the more heavy his breaths become. Soon enough, your lips touch the base of his cock.

You move your tongue around, reaching for his balls, massaging them with the tip of your tongue while his whole cock twitches in your throat. You let out a small moan as you pull your head back, feeling every vein of his cock against your lips and tasting every drop of his precum on your tongue. As soon as your lips reach the head of his cock, you immediately push it back down your throat. Putting your hands on his thighs, you start bobbing your head up and down on his length.

Xavier’s heavy breathing is followed by small moans. You can see how his abdominal muscles are tensing, but he remains asleep. This does nothing but urge you even more. However, his hips suddenly jolt upward, catching you off guard as the head of his cock hits the back of your throat. Your nails suddenly dig into his skin as you resist the urge to gag loudly. Tears immediately formed in your eyes. You slowly pull away.

You gasp as soon as his cock pops out of your mouth, spit coating your lips and chin. You wipe your lips and chin as you stand up. You slip out of your shorts and underwear before carefully crawling on top of Xavier. You look down on his face. His brows are slightly furrowed, but as you press your palms on his chest, his breath is even. After confirming that he’s still asleep, you grind down on his cock. You move your hips back and forth. Your own arousal coats his shaft.

You take his cock behind you as you lift your hips. You line his cock to your entrance and start to sink down on his length. You bite down on your lower lip, your head hanging backwards. You stifle a pained moan as his cock continues to slowly split your insides in half. Xavier stirs beneath you. You can feel his chest start to expand and contract a little faster as the tightness of your hole envelops the entirety of his cock.

“Fuck,” you sigh as you bury your face on his neck.

You immediately start moving your hips up and down. Your breathing began matching Xavier’s heavy breathing as well. The feeling of his cock being pushed back up into you is making it harder for you to stifle your moans. Despite that, you don’t slow down. You even bounce your hips faster, trying to find that spot inside you that Xavier always somehow manages to abuse whenever he fucks you brains out. You whine in frustration as you increase your pace. Feeling his cock inside you feels amazing, but something’s still missing that could bring you to the edge.

All of a sudden, your movements were halted by two big hands on your hips, keeping you in place. Below you, Xavier slams his hips upwards into you. And that particular spot you've been searching for earlier is now being pounded against with his hard cock.

“You're so tight, my love,” you heard Xavier's lust-filled voice say in a raspy voice.

The voices you've been holding back for a while now fills up the entire room. He adjusts himself below you, planting his feet on the bed and slamming his cock up into your tight hole. His thrusts are fast but deep, making sure to hit that sensitive spot inside of you over and over.

Your eyes roll to the back of your head while drool trickles down Xavier's neck.

Xavier curses underneath his breath. “Waking up to you bouncing on my dick,” he chuckles. “You couldn't wait for me to wake up, huh?”

He slaps your asscheek before rolling so you are now the one under him. He doesn't even take a moment before placing your legs over your shoulders and pinning your hands on both sides of your head before he starts fucking you deeper.

“You’re so pretty when you cry,” he whispers, leaning down to press his lips on your forehead without breaking his pace.

You don't even realize that drops of tears have rolled down your cheeks. The contrast between his soft kiss and the roughness of his thrusts easily sends your whole body into orgasm.

“Oh fuck, Xavier!!” you cry out as Xavier buries his cock deep inside you. You can feel his hot and thick cum coat your insides.

Xavier buries his face into your neck and wraps his arms around your shaking body. You can feel every twitch of his cock inside you, making you shudder. The both of you lay there, bathing in the moonlight. He strokes your hair while whispering sweet praises into your ear.

“Such a good bunny.”

“It’s okay. I'm here.”

“You make me feel so good, my love.”

His other words blend in together as your eyes become tired. You suddenly feel that rush of tiredness enveloping your entire body. Xavier seems to notice this and tries to pull out to let you rest. However, you wrap your legs around his waist.

“Stay here,” you mumble.

Xavier chuckles. “Alright,” he whispers. “Let’s sleep like this.”

He adjusts himself on top of you so he’s not entirely pushing his whole weight on top of you. He knows how much having his weight on top of you comforts you. He doesn't know why but he complies anyway. He smiles as he looks down at your face.

“Sometimes, I can't believe such face can make the most sinful acts,” he mumbles, wiping off the tears that are still in your lashes.

He carefully takes the blanket and partially covers the both of you. With him still inside of you, the both of you fall asleep in each others’ warmth.

a/n: It's been a while since I've written a fic, but I hope you guys enjoyed it!! Requests are open so feel free to hop into my inbox!

Honestly, I wanted to publish 3 fics this week but I guess I overestimated myself because I felt rusty ;u; Still, I guess I can blame it on the illustration that I made because I wanted to publish a fic with an original fanart of mine.

Unfortunately, tumblr is having none of it and flagged my first post with the whole illustration. So if you guys are interested to see the full illustration, I posted it on my twitter account which is @/vilapollo_arts.

I do also have an uncensored version of the illustration. I haven't posted it yet since I wanted to post it once I reach my goal of 100 followers!! So, please help me reach my goal and consider checking out my twitter account. I do also have a Sylus fanart in the making which I will also be posting an nsfw version if I do reach that goal 😉

Thank you so much for reading!!

[divinit3a]

For the ask game 💕

💕 Time for a shout-out! What are some of your fav AUs from other creators in the fandom? ⭑ dca au ask game

^-^ ....OK! I shall set down all the cakes on the table for a full buffet! Get your forks & knives out! 🍽️🍽️🍽️

please don't hesitate to let me know if you'd prefer not to be @'d in the future, or to be removed from this post u_u <3 I totally respect folk's preferences!

✨ lets go! ⭑⭑⭑ ⭑⭑⭑ ⭑⭑⭑

@muzzlemouths Dead Mall Dare / DfTR AU(s) Dead Mall Dare was one of the first AUs I read (like, literally. 1-2 months ago!) & I went woooaaah they are fun removed from original context. Isn't that so neat ?? This isn't a rabbithole to fall in, tho. u_u No wayyy guys c'mon ... /j Likewise, DfTR is a treat to watch unfold & see people squirm ^-^

@r0b0-wannabe Botanical Garden AU (or just any of your stories, but I'm.. sticking to the law...s... ) Hi, I stayed up to 2-3am drawing ur boys bc Im normal about this AU & how endearing it is... obviously... (💚) I love your writing style & characterizations. Maybe this is silly, but, I also enjoy learning about plantcare, too :3

@sinister-sincerely 2nd Choice AU Oh, you are so evil. The username matches. (A COMPLIMENT!! Hehe.) Oh, you write drama, angst/no comfort, hurting/damaged characters making awful choices so well. It was wild doing a double-take to realize YOU! are the WRITER for 2nd choice!! Some day, I will get u. For now, run 💜🔪

@wyervan Human!Slasher AU :D Yay! Both the OG/Main storyline are wonderful. I find the community version very endearing as an AU-within-an-AU. (love that!) As someone who used to run RP groups (on god!) it fills my heart with joy to see people filling out a world with so much life. Your art style is delightfully grungy ^-^/

@pluck-heartstrings - Pluck My Heartstrings AU Ohhh. I am weak to fairytale/renfaire vibes, as well as the more classic harlequin jester aesthetic u_u<3 Plus, the Vocalist/Princess is just so dang compelling, too. Your design sense is impeccable.

@moon-buggg Haunted House & Mad Scientist AUs They are both so neat & I can't wait to learn more!! The Haunted House AU designs live in my head rent free along with the comics :3

@zenkaiankoku Broken but Better AU Lovely, torn-up designs! Yay, mechanical horror! Yay, angst!! And a delightful remix of their personalities, too <3

@authormeat Alienware AU ^-^ I am instantly delighted by the weird guy freak energy & that the yn IS an alien/monster. Thats all I want & more. I also love ur designs for other AUs

...

...

...... 🧍 I Have More to Say

And...And... Not.. AU specific, but 🏏💥BAM , BAM 💥🏏 LOVELY FOLKS!!!!!!

🍲 <{ @soupdweller THERE IS NO ESCAPE ok but fr.. I appreciate ya, homie :3 you are a joy to chat with!! beautiful art!! evil mind!! delicious soups. i cant wait for whatever u cook up ^-^ 🐤 <{ @luckyyyduckyyy I WILL READ UR AU STORIES!! RUN & HIDE!!! you are the goofiest goober in the wild west, by goodness. i love ur energy and the gorgeous designs u create!! 🐛 <{ @chickenchirps27 ACK I COULD STARE AT UR ART FOREVER! I'll have to start volleying over illustrators I think ya might enjoy... u are so sweet & funny!! 🐐 <{ @lurking-loaf YOU ARE SO KIND! Seriously, I appreciate the fun craft projects you recommended -& your words of support :') 🔮 <{ @anis-sketches :D HI! Happy to throw recs your way. Also, your art is adorable!! 🌿 <{ @craykaycee HI TO U TOO!! the tags u leave always make me smile, and i appreciate u stopping by to say hi... :3 & MANYMANY MORE BUT I NEED TO CUT MYSELF OFF OR ELSE

Per usual, I lost sight of the original goal. But! Consider:

🏏💥WHAM , BAM 💥🏏 GOTCHU >:)

[pumpkinsy0]

Hcs of curly taking care of pony if pony was REALLY sick?

lets all imagine im reading this to u guys like a kindergarten class

•curly has like 0 experience taking care of someone whos sick, at his house if ur sick, its tim who takes care of u, but even then its just like he cooks u food, leaves it on ur nightstand and u thug it out u less u yell for aomething

•however getting sick in his house is pretty rare so all of em arent too well versed in wtf to do when someones sick

•when ponys sick, hes used to someone just chillin right beside him, so curlys just forced to stay right by pony and look, no hate towards pony but he cant stay for that long, not bc of pony but bc if curly HAS to stay somewhere, no matter what hes always restless about it like he wants to b let out of his cage

•if ponys SICK sick, he starts mumbling shit and curlys just responding to that, “i like,,apples and bananas” “me too bro me too” kinda thing

•cant cook for shit and he doesnt want to wash any dishes so he just warms up a can of chicken noodle soup on the stove and hope it doesnt fall over or explode😭😭

•speaking of food hes a lil dickhead and goes “heres comes the airplane” while ponys like a sickly victorian child begging to see the sun one last time before he departs this mortal realm and enters through the gates w his parents waiting on the other side

•like i said, no clue what to do while ponys sick so hes just always checking ponys temperature and goin “feelin any better???”

•god forbid pony starts throwing up, curly HATES it so bad, he hates the sound, the look, he hates EVERYTHING, he left a bucket near pony and if he starts throwing up he leaves SO fast and closes his eyes, if not he’ll think about it while he eats and lose his appetite, he supports pony behind the door going “u got this man you’ll be fine” but hes also kinda saying it to himself a bit to calm himself down cause ughhhhhh

•curly still cracks jokes still and pony has no energy to say something back so he tries hitting curly but he cant even do that, someone get darry to do it for him</33

•when pony has a wet cough curly just stares so disgusted cause my GOD dude how did u get this sick😭😭

•after he gets better, curly makes pony take this concoction (i have NO idea what its called in kreyòl but it supposedly helps to build ur immune system) it taste like SHIT, but curly is NOT goin through allat again so he makes pony drink it, hes not gettin outta this one

[joviepog]

EEE HI JOVIE again i love love your writing and im so glad youve been enjoying my stuff!! anyway, sweet and simple request-- wilbur and reader having an at home dinner night :)) (if u wanna make it silly tommy could be their "waiter" LMAO)

much love !!

EEK I LOVEE THIS IDEA! ITS SO SIMPLE BUT SO GOOD AHHHHHH

-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡—♡-♡-♡-♡-

Lovely night

Who: Wilbur x f!reader

Warnings: i dont think there is anything but if there is just let me know!

Pronouns: She / they

Word count: I have no clue

Requests: @poraphia

Anything’s else: I actually liked how this turned out! thanks for the idea lovely requester!

This story is NOT proofread

Listen to this while you read! <3

Both you and Wilbur aren’t the richest people around. For you, this was absolutely fine. But for Wilbur?

Well, Wilbur is just a bit disappointed about not being able to spoil you as much as he wants. Since you both have met, he’s been obsessed with getting you little gifts and taking you to cute dates. But what he really wants to do is to be able to take you to the fancy restaurant down the street from your guy’s apartment.

He’s told you about this little problem of his and you cant help but giggle every time he mentions it. The conversation always ends with a kiss on the cheek and the same six words. “Wil, i dont need all that!” But lately he wont stop talking about it. He’s been daydreaming about you in a fancy dress and him in a fancy tux. Not the old cheep one he has for all those dumb occasions. No, he wants to be able to give you a bouquet of roses and a ring that means forever. But most of all, he wants to make you happy.

You’ve noticed that this was starting to get to him. Every time you got home he would give you a kiss and a hug -per usual- then he would start talking about this dress he saw on twitter and how beautiful it would look on you. “And that dress would be perfect for that restaurant!” And every time you say that you dont need all that, he looks like a kid being rejected of a puppy.

And so, you set up a plan. While he was gone on tour, you saved up, took cooking classes, and learned how to do your best makeup possible. You called him up one night, “Hi Wil! Are you busy?” There was a slight pause and he spoke quietly, “No, i just have to be quiet.” You gave a soft laugh and spoke quietly. “I just wanted to make sure i have the right day for when your coming back.” He raised an eyebrow and smirked, “Why?” You pouted, “Why? What, I can’t miss my boyfriend?”

He apologized at least 100 times before he woke Joe up. You said hi to Joe and hung up. “I love you Wil. See you soon?” You asked with a smile. “See you soon.” You hung up and silence fell on the room. You had 1 more week. You bought the dress he had mentioned 1,000 times, you made sure Tommy was free, and you made sure the house was clean. You were ready.

-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-

“I’m two hours away.” he spoke and you could hear the boys in the back teasing him.

you fake sighed, “I guess i’ll just wait here. all alone, and sad, and-“

he stopped you, “Yeah i’ll try to hurry up.”

“No take your time, darling.���

he sighed, “All i want to do is get home and hug you.”

“Aweeee.” you put another fake eyelash on, “I miss you too baby.”

“Wilbur! The taxy is here!”

you laughed and he scoffed, “I’ll see you soon darling.”

“See you soon.” you hung up and looked at yourself in the mirror. you looked amazing. you hair was fixed, and the dress fit nicely just like wilbur said it would. everything was perfect.

2 hours: Tommy got there with a suit and a tie that was ties badly

1 hour 30 minutes: You and tommy set the table and clean the house. you fail to figure out how to tie tommy’s tie

1 hour: you start dinner and Tommy calls phil to help him tie his tie.

30 mins: you finish up dinner and you get out wilbur’s favorite wine

20 mins: you double check everything for 10 minutes

10 mins: you wake up Tommy from his nap and cehck to make sure you look good.

5 mins: you triple check that you look okay and you serve the food.

1 minute: You light the candles

0 mins: You hear a knock.

“Is that him?!?” you say with a cheerful smile. Tommy smiles, “No it’s the mailman.” he jokes. you roll your eyes and open the door. Wilbur has the biggest smile on his face and he’s holding flowers. You close the door behind you, not wanting to ruin the surprise, and jump into his arms. he gives you small kisses all around your face and neck; your giggling at his touch. he finally lets you go and you were so excited to see his reaction.

His eyes widen at the sight of you in the dress and he begins to ask questions. “YN? Where did you-“ you stopped him and grabbed his arm, interlocking your arm in his. you yelled out to tommy, “Ready!” tommy opens the door and the smell of delicious food swept through the door.

The sight of warm lighting and wine glasses were shows on the small table. Warm jazz music was playing and you couldn’t help but giggle at the sight of Wilbur. His mouth was agape and his eyes completely widened. He turned to look at Tommy, who had his hair slicked back and a napkin on his arm (still holding the door open he cleared his throat.) “Welcome Mr. Gold and Ms. LN. I have your table ready right over there. He nudged his head towards the table and you and Wilbur walked in. Tommy quickly close the door and pulled out the chairs for both you and Wilbur.

Wilbur sat down, still in shock, and looked at his plate. Tommy spoke up, “You see, we already served you food because your girlfriend here, preordered. Wilbur laughed and Tommy grabbed the wine glass. “Tell me when to stop.” He started to pour the wine and Wilbur told him to stop about halfway, you did the same.

“Anything else?” Tommy asked.

“That’ll be all. Thank you.” Tommy winked at you and nodded his head. As he walked away you turned back to Wilbur. “So?” His mouth is still slightly open but soon enough, his cheeky smile appeared back on his face.

“Well, i feel like I’m a bit underdressed.” You both laughed and spent the rest of the night talking while Tommy took photos of both of you.

What a lovely night.

[alelathedragon]

Mr.Puzzles Ramble part 4009488383839393848

I added links to my other rambles if yo interested but all in all.....

Chat

GET EM

[1]

[2]

[3]

I wanna talk about 2 episodes in particular for this ramble:

Mario loses his moustache & Mr.Puzzles lowest point

It is my humble opinion that this dude still does NOT know what the fuck a MEME is- cus look at his actions in each episode. In the first one he studies Mario intensely because this is the one who has been ruining his plans the most with his bullshit and FUNNY.

Mr.Puzzles is after the power of being funny but still finds memes disgusting/horrible, when he makes Pedro his intensions are to film the creature hoping to steal SMG4's fame in a SMG3 LIKE manor, instead of stealing the videos hes just stealing assets of an actor. Yes; he does say MEME OFF but im convinced this man has no fucking clue what he's talking about and thats made more apparent in the next episode where he's going through content creator depression.

When the children turn on their Brainrot Skibbity Toilet he rightfully finds it to be the most insulting thing to ever grace his face and wants it gone, but then he realizes; hey wait a minute ... If I do this, I can traffic people to follow me, make money, make the content I love and BAM!! I'll be popular!!!

However.... He gets in his own way, when the "fame" of a billion children liking his youtube channel hits, it gets to his head immediately and he gets distracted from what he really wanted to do! He doesn't wanna make this shit, he wants to make his art!!! He doesn't understand WTF he's made other than an abomination

Like this man is genuinely confused as to why people have not gone from his shitty youtube channel over to his REAL content on the TV bc he forgot the part where he's supposed to stop the youtube and make stuff he likes again. Too 1 track minded

Even to the SMG4 crew its not funny bc it is NOT a meme! Mr.Puzzles doesn't know how to do that.

He came into the convention wanting to talk about his interests, inspirations, how he wrote his screen plays... Alas the crowd was children who didn't give a flying fuck about his craft and this pissed him off. Like: WHAT DO U MEAN U DIDNT LOOK AT MY TV SHOWS AND ONLY WATCH THIS STUFF IM NOT PROUD OF!?!?

& funnily enough

That leads into another point where this guy gives up so fast on things. Like in the cannon he SAYS he's given up on TV but that's a lie, he's going to keep doing entertainment.

What I mean by him giving up easily is:

He is a pathetic little meow meow folks. Hes one of those villains that THRIVES off a evil plan but when he's caught. He puts up his hands and runs, or throws things at his enemies.

Like in WOTF, in the song all boyo does: is throw shit because he DOES NOT know how to defend himself bro lololol. He has the power of his imagination but this isnt his head or his rules so he cant just- imagine a kung fu master as himself and fight back: his natural defences are to

Run/ Hide/ Throw things/ Bat things away/ Retract/ Panic

So when a plan fails. That plan is practically gone until he can think of a new way to use it

Like i doubt we're going to see Mario losing his moustache for a long time, i think we're going to see it again!!! But not soon. Mr.Puzzles needs time to cook that thought in the back of his mind of if it's even worth trying again or not.

He coulda given up on that thought all together but we wont know til we see!!

And he gave up on the youtube too! Because he was disappointed in himself and bro really just; could not bear to use that money anymore. He looked at that cash and could only relate it to his cringe youtube channel that he didnt want to associate with anymore. The original plan to use the money to make the content he wants: ⚰️

"I can't just use the money to make the content i want now! Im ruined! They just see me as a kids play toy now and this cash is NOTHING!!"

He forgot the plan, thus it got ruined by his own hand, and sense it was no longer completable in the way he originally intended it to go- it was impossible to complete.

He's so silly. I love him so much

[the-s1lly-corner]

Hiya!! Can u do pomni, jax and ragatha x cold bug reader who makes silly bug sounds plssz:33 tysm!!!!

Pomni, Jax, and Ragatha x reader who makes bug noises!

i wasnt sure what counts as bug noises and what doesnt so i kind of made guesses! hope thats okay anon! writing this between waiting for my bacon to cook so if i lose my train of thought every now and then in my writing thats why </3 todays plans are all wonky since i got stuff i need to do and stuff i wanna do

POMNI:

probably thinks its an actual bug making the sounds before she realizes its you! a little put off by it but thats only because i can kind of see pomni being vaguely scared of bugs though im on the fence about that one... that said i do think over time she associates those noises with you, and thus, comfort! visibly eases up when she hears you chirping; bonus if sometimes your noises are your version of a purr and you start making them while you two are cuddling. i think she'd just melt right into you... hmm.. given that i already made the purring comparison i like to think she falls asleep against you while you're doing a long drawn out set of chirps, just very slightly vibrating as you do so. very nice very comforting

RAGATHA:

i think she would find it cute! shes only scared of centipedes, after all! loves when you make chirping sounds when she pats your head or gives you scritches... i know you said bug noises but assuming the reader is also bug like, ragatha like scratching between your antennae. like a funky cat! i dont think she would draw much attention to your noises, especially if theyre involuntary; though i think every now and then she might let a comment slip on how she thinks its endearing... hmmm... just dont make cricket sounds at night or when someone tells a bad joke it will drive her nuts/j

JAX:

speaking of cricket sounds, imagine making the noises when jax tells a really bad joke or one of his pranks fall flat. it drives him nuts, but he'll play it off with a half hearted "boooooo" and a thumbs down... you start using it as a subtle means to keep him in line/from going too far with his pranks/j except i think that might actually work though im unsure of the ethics behind that. i think sometimes he teases you for your noises, and i think this simply comes with being with jax but expect nicknames based on your bug like qualities. playfully swats you with a rolled up piece of paper every now and then. might sometimes subconsciously mimic your sounds. cant explain that one i can just see it

[sanzuballs]

monster trio and a accidental viagra !!

ft. monster trio (duh..) || fluff ish smut

okay. hear me out. i havent posted in a while but like like like… anyways thanks for all the love and support on these! thank u and enjoy.

—————————-

sanji :

“sanji, you never tried this thing that iva gave you.” you hold up a little glass jar with a winky face on it. sanji perks up and takes the jar and takes one of the capsules in his mouth.

“hmm. that sure isnt a spice.” he swallows it and you two presume cleaning around the kitchen.

eventually, you notice how he cant keep his eyes away from you. more than usual, which is real bad.

“is something wrong?” you ask. “hey, your face is red baby. let me get you some water.”

“no i dont need water. i dont know whats going on y/n.” he pants out. youre confused until you see the buldge in his pj pants.

“oh?” you smile at him, it was cute. he was loosing it. you wrap your arms around his hot neck and whisper into his ear. “its late, sanji. lets go take a shower.” he rests his head on your shoulder as he grips your waist tight.

“yeah, this damn kitchen can wait.”

zoro :

“which drink did you say was good?” zoro asks you.

“the one thats two below the one you usually get on the menu.” you say, taking a sip of your drink. you and zoro decided to sneak off into a classic bar while the crew stopped on a island to get more food.

“ah, okay.” you see a old friend and you two catch up as zoro orders.

“hmm, that usually isnt the color the drink is?” you question. he takes a big drink of the mystery drink. the bartender looks at him with slight awe. then she smiles at you.

“ro’, what drink did you order?” this was odd. no way he got confused from “two below”, right?

“the lustful dragon fire?” he looks at you. then you look at his empty glass in his hand. then you see the warning next to lustful dragon fire. “contants strong aphrodisiacs!”

“are you fucking serious.” you say under your breath. you decide not to tell him. you decide to wait and see what happens.

“y/n, please lets go.” his arms gripped your waist from behind. he nimbled on your neck. “i think i need you more than anything right now.” he grumbles. his hands cups your breast as the other roams all over you. you look at him to see a sleepy and extremely needy and horny swordsman.

luffy :

“are you sure you want to try this one? its got a viagra in it?” the cook asks him. you two decided to have a date night in a restaurant while stopping by a island.

“viagra, vagina. nothing i havent had before. it looks too yummy! im sure i want it.” he smiles at the waiter as the waiter runs off.

“luffy! you cant just say that!” you smile as you rub your eyebrows. luffy probably didnt know what a viagra was so you just waited to see.

“y/n, your hair looks really pretty.”

“y/n, you look cute tonight!”

“y/n, your smile is so cute.”

“y/n, lets go right now.”

you act clueless and agree to go with him. his hands are immediately on your shoulders and he hurried you to somewhere private. then you see the massive buldge.

“look at what you did pretty girl.”

[umeoniii]

aot women beige flags!

٩( 'ω' )و

mikasa, hange, annie, sasha, ymir, pieck

~

mikasa:

☆ gets super sick easily

and these sicknesses literally beat her ass

she just has a super weak immune system

can go out one time then when she comes back home she’s literally stuck in bed like it’s her dying days.

a common cold for her is like the plague

it seems as if she’s an old victorian child lying in her bed asking her mother for bread and water.

☆ somehow physic

not so much now, it’s not like she has powers

but she has a ‘6th sense’ and she can tell when something bad is going to happen

first time she did it you thought she was joking around

but then she was right because the building next to you caught fire (cooking error…)

you were totally scared of her after that bcs what if she was behind it

then you forgave her (she did nothing wrong?) and tried to convince her to give you a fortune

then she proceeded to tell you that’s not what the sixth sense is for

hange:

☆ really likes playing games

hanges a sore loser though.

this is super funny

super competitive with stuff like board games and video games. and she takes it seriously.

when she loses she takes it to heart.

she’ll throw a temper tantrum and get upset and everything.

she’ll do anything to win as well. cheats and switches the game all she wants, especially when she’s actually winning. but when you try to do it it’s all “no no that’s not how you play!”

you DO NOT want to play uno with hange. enough said

☆ makes impressions of people in public.

let’s say you’re in the car parked and you see a couple sitting on the bench talking.

she’ll give them names and make a voice and act what she thinks is their conversation.

it’s far funnier than it sounds.

if she sees a couple and their friend,

“eh barbra? i didn’t know you were gonna invite your annoying friend, you know how much i hate her!” she’d snicker while staring at the three people

and there’s actually times where you hate it bcs of how unserious she acts.

sometimes she would invite you along to voice someone else

and she would just sit and laugh like it’s the funniest thing ever!

annie:

☆ bargain queen

has coupons for everything in the whole wide world

she has all the apps for everyplace she goes so she’ll get some kind of deal.

her total at the grocery store would go from $135 to $80 bcs she’s a diehard user of coupons

she makes u use them as well and stuffs some in your wallet

she’s a karen for these things as well

if the price tag says it’s ‘$3.12’ then it’s ‘$3.12’ whether the seller says “well that’s last weeks price”

she’ll say “well maybe you should’ve changed it, how would the manager feel if i told them you’re not doing youre job?”

and she’d get it for $3.12

☆ greets an animal before she greets a person

if she seems someone she knows walking their dog she won’t even look at them let alone speak to them

she’ll crouch and pet the dog and start baby talking to them before she gets up and says something to the walker

she actually likes animals a lot

more than ppl

she’d have some kind of shirt displaying that as well

“im more of a dog person than a people person”

sasha:

☆ cant stay on track in a conversation

she could be talking to you about something she heard about someone. then she’ll be like, “speaking of her i remember when me and her went out for these awesome burgers.”

THEN she’ll say “wait because i was actually contemplating going vegan…. what do you think?”

the whole convo switches topics every 2 minutes or so.

you get so confused as to how the conversation went from work drama to when she thinks the world is going to end.

☆ takes the first bite of your food

it’s an unspoken rule.

she doesn’t even say “to test it for poison” she just does it because she wants

trying something new? she gets the first bite. you haven’t ate all day? she still gets the first bite. it’s your favorite food in the whole wide world? two words: first. bite.

and it’s not even a small bite, it’s the BIGGEST chomp she could take.

you��ve gotten so used to it that you don’t care. you just shove it in her face.

because if you were being honest if she just suddenly stopped you’d be concerned and sad.

ymir:

☆ cannot take some things seriously

she could be out w you at a restaurant and see this waiter’s name on their tag

“gaylord”

it’s not even pronounced “gay lord” but “gaylerd”

she’ll turn around and start hysterically laughing she doesn’t even care that the waiters right there

you can tell her a story from work or something that’s completely serious and she’ll still laugh no matter what

☆ lies out of her ass for no reason

you could tell her you tried some cool new exotic food and she’ll be like

“oh i had that when i was 5 and i almost died because i’m allergic to the spices in it”

and it’s kind of obvious it’s a lie but you don’t even say anything bcs she rides hard to defend herself and say it’s the truth

she’ll even go as far as editing photos and calling other people so it would be more believable

she sometimes doesn’t even lie to be funny but just out of habit

these aren’t bad kind of lies and she tells the truth when needed but she still b lyin..

pieck:

☆ cannot save money for her life

she can put aside some money for important stuff and it would be gone in a flash

worst part is the money is wasted on totally useless stuff

like finger puppets

what are you gonna do with finger puppets when you’re stranded for miles?

tries harder to not let it happen

then it happens again and she tries to justify it by saying that maybe a corn butterer was a great investment

(it wasn’t)

☆ can sleep anywhere at anytime

we all know this don’t we…

but it’s horrible

restaurants, floor, toilet

she could probably go to sleep in the club if she’s tired enough

she doesn’t look dead when she sleeps (unlike connie)

she looks very calm whether she’s in a deep sleep or taking a power nap

and she probably gets a decent amount of sleep at night, she just naps bcs… she wants to?

♡

a/n: at least 3 of these stories are actually real things i’ve faced with friends and family LOL so this is so funny to me. some of these aren’t even beige flags and are lowkey hcs, let’s just pretend alr!