#cant explain properly. but u understand

[c-kiddo]

watching downfall . only just met her but i have seen spoilers and asha is so san princess mononoke coded 2 me

[mimiruku]

I say 'peculiarities' as if I don't mean toddler Miruku is a contemptuous hater. He isn't impolite, but he loathes being around people so much that it has him seriously ill. ( literal ) ⸻ a quick way to have him denouncing your right to exist would be touching him without his explicit permission, which is to say he dislikes 99% of the population because most people do not respect a child's boundary.

Deep down inside, Miruku hasn't actually grown from this, just that he tolerates & allows himself to enjoy the pain of flareups. ( love is sacrifice, this is what he learned very earlier on but he wants to possess love enough to go through with it )

[potatobugz]

Noelle Holiday? (Yes this is a bingo request that I guess is a semi-sequel to the previous one for Susie)

thgey call her noelle holiday the way she. brightens up. your day

[o-sunny-day]

@forgettable-au Babybones Fancomic ✨

“Keep Reading” for the rest :3 (10 Pages)

*deep breath*

you hear that?

thats the sound of AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

ok. I spent. 31 Hours of my life on this. And i dont regret. a GODAMN thing.

i will go on, but first, A N A L Y S I S

PAGE 1

The title “Radio Star” comes from the song “Video Killed The Radio Star” by The Buggles. Its lyrics I believe are absolutely perfect for this AU, Examples being “Rewritten by machine and new technology” , “We hear the playback and it seemed so long ago” , and “We cant rewind we’ve gone too far”

The title also refers to how…1, they build a radio-

and 2, Sans calls Papyrus a Star at Grillbys if you call him “uncool”

PAGE 2

Nothing to note

PAGE 3

This is the first real scene I had in mind. The entire concept came from me imagining how Sans’ memories of Wingdings got overwritten, so where in memories he’d call Wingdings by his name, he calls him Papyrus.

In an animation with audio, itd be like “Aw cmon, P A P Y R U S” and be a silly little jumpscare.

Buttttt then ofc the idea turned into a thing where I couldn’t shape it into a “fake” memory.

I wanted to play with their characters as they WERE not how they remember them being.

PAGE 4

Nothing

PAGE 5

As they travel to the barrier, Wingdings is leading, and COMPLETELY focused on his goal. Ignoring Gerson (social interaction) while Sans takes his time and looks around getting “distracted”. This exemplifies the nature of their relationship.

Them in Hotland, they’re actually right next to the lab. Taking the elevator the guards were…guarding. So Sans is looking at the lab like “hey. Hey wingdings, look, look at that building, thats so cool”

PAGE 6

At the bottom is just another example of Wingdings being deadset on his goal, while Sans is helping out but still stopping to smell the flowers

PAGE 7

This panel makes me so happy-

It works??? vs It works!!!

Wingdings doesn’t come across as the kind of guy to doubt himself, I just think he’d be shocked at himself regardless that he pulled this off. Meanwhile Sans is just thrilled 😭

PAGE 8

N/A

PAGE 9

Oh boy this is the finale of explanation.

This conversation that Asgore and Sans have. Is REALLY important to me

Asgore/everyone that isnt sans, cannot understand Wingdings. So, Sans is talking for him. It may come across as him taking all the glory or whatever, but NO. look at his dialogue boxes! they’re not blocking out WD, and he’s like “YEAH 😊 MY BROTHERS SO FUCKING COOL”

Meanwhile Asgores boxes are completely blocking WD out. He thinks Sans built it cause hes doing all the explaining, and Sans isnt getting the hint that Asgore THINKS THAT HE MADE IT its a whole thing

Wingdings appreciates Sans, but he doesn’t appreciate people thinking he did all the work-

Asgores dialogue box when asking “How did you build such a thing??” is covering Wingdings, and he’s looking at SANS. he’s asking Sans how he built it, meanwhile Sans, still not getting the clue, is looking at wingdings like “:) cmon bro, tell him, you know ill translate for you!”

PAGE 10

Sans then understands at least that Wingdings does not want to indulge this- and goes into explaining mode, as hes done it so many times before-

Sans saying “You cant understand him” instead of something like “his font is hard to understand” is important because he is putting the “blame” on you. He’s fully aware this is something Wingdings WISHES he could change about himself so badly, so he just kinda naturally changes his tone which I find really fun when writing dialogue :3

This comic, I feel is an example of how much this AU/comic series means to me-

As much as I obsess over and LOVE comics as a medium, this is the first ever I have ever properly finished. ofc there have been like 2 page ones, but YEAH this is the first BIG one i have ever finished in my entire life.

These characters- as much as they’re Tobys, they are also Sunsestarts in my opinion. The situation they are put in of JUST the font trouble alone is something i’m SO fascinated by and clearly- had the time of my LIFE writing and playing with. And thats ignoring all the other shit that happens BECAUSE of that.

Undertale is special, The Forgettable AU is SPECIAL- THESE SKELETONS ARE SPECIAL

Im on the edge of my seat waiting to see what happens next because I know whatever it is, its gonna be special

also, I made this while listening to Slipping Through My Fingers on repeat. I regret nothing

((ALSO I HIGHLY RECOMMEND TIME/SPACE BY ALEX G, ITS A GREAT SONG IM DEFINITELY GONNA STORYBOARD A FORGETTABLE AMV TO CAUSE ITS REALLY REALLY GOOD, ID TOTALLY TIE IT TO THIS COMIC- BUT ITS MORE FOR PAPYRUS AND GASTER INTERACTIONS RATHER THAN BABYBONES???)

[saewokhrisz]

have u ever talked anywhere about your coloring or composition processes? u are honestly one of my favorite artists and i would love to hear any insight on how you make pieces 💓

wahh thank you TTT !!! I did sorta give a very simplistic answer here but it was more of my simpler sketchy style so lemme redo that, ill try to be consise and make this understandable ?? its a bit hard cuz it honest to god depends on what Kind of piece im even drawing, cuz for some i go the whole length of doing lineart flats and all that, others i just just fuck around untill it looks right?

i do usually start with a rough sketch or colour draft, especially with more compley pieces this helps with figuring out the feel, honestly i should spend more time drafting properly, figuring out poses and such but im so lazy i just go w the first thing that looks good

then just lines over the colour draft, fixing lots of anatomy and proportion stuff, and depending on how i wanna do the colours ill either keep the colour layers or merge them together and have the edited colours as the base colour (this might not even make sense help)

see this piece at the time gave me an insane ammount of trouble with lighting and colours, so after trying to render i ended up merging everything together....which i dont USUALLY do but the rendering is pretty similar except usually i have colours be seperated by layer,

ANYWAYS sadly i dont have a process on how it got from flats to this specific render for this piece...but i still followed my initial drafts/plans with vibe and colours and just painted over it, its why i make it after all!

but honestly a lot of times its just very simple colours and just trying to mainting good contrast and values !!!! and THEN fucking around with colours and rextures, for other pieces i kinda just paint as i go? i have this timelapse of my justice piece that may be a bit more help!

it includes the initial colour draft, the cleanup/lining process, flats, rendering, and all that so its probs the most accurate timelapse of my morecomplex work processes, with stuff that doesnt include heavier backgrounds, which is a whole OTHER topic honestly

im sorry if i cant explain it more cohesively, i genuinely barely know what im doing most times and go by muscle memory and stuff i Know but cant. Explain? like i know how light and folds work since i observed and studied them but i cannot put it into words at all )--)0

my brushes also contribute a lot to how i render and colour, depending on what i use, you can find the swatches for them here !

[ultimateloserboy]

GIANT FLUFFYBIRD POST

@onlyballs i saw in my phone notifs you sent me an ask but tumblr isnt showing it. HOWEVER. I believe you asked for fluffybird, and of course I will deliver!

i suggest searching the fluffybird tag on my blog if u want more thoughts. because i have said a LOT of stuff. but of course ill always talk about my guys!

BUCKLE UP BROTHER ITS A LONG WAY TO THE BOTTOM!!!!

to kick things off let me explain their characters and relationship. duck sees red as his absolute best friend, the one person in the world he truly gets along with. he loves red very proudly and openly. when it comes to the world and its horrors, duck doesnt much remember but also doesnt quite care. why would he? he has his best friend right there with him! he also loves yellow very blatantly even if he doesnt show it properly. theyre his family, and this is his house, so why would he want to change things or leave? even when hes aware of the pain that he (especially) experiences— he STILL doesnt want to leave— because as his bigger boy self says “this is as good as it gets!”

red sees things completely differently. red obviously does care for duck, but the majority of the time he will deny it. even at ducks FUNERAL red denies caring for him. red is so obsessed with coming off as the calm and collected one he ends up making himself look apathetic to the point of cruelty. duck can also be very cruel, but hes very blatant about the people he loves whereas red will deny ever loving anything. duck isnt afraid of love, but red very much is.

when it comes to the world, red remembers a bit more than duck does. yellow actually seems to remember things too, but his batteries keep his thoughts fogged so he cant properly articulate them. red can remember AND articulate things from past episodes. its not perfect, and he absolutely doesnt understand whats going on— but he DOES remember— and unlike duck, he actually HATES it. theres an argument to be made here that duck doesnt remember because he simply doesnt care to. duck doesnt care so he doesnt remember, while red cares A LOT so he remembers more. but i digress.

red wants to get out of the torture of the house, but truthfully he wants to be a different person altogether. he wants a new life not just because this one sucks— but also because he dislikes himself. he just wants something different. hes restless. even if the house was perfectly safe hed most likely still be running. he’s desperate to find a place that feels like home— but until he accepts his own differences he wont be comfortable anywhere. he refuses love from anyone that isnt his perfect made-up family because duck and yellow are “weird” and if he accepts their love that makes him weird as well, which he fights to not be.

if you really look at red, he doesnt actually want to be loved. he wants to be someone else and have everyone love that guy. but it just doesnt work that way.

duck loves red as he is now. or as he was yesterday, and who he’ll be tomorrow. it comes naturally to duck— he doesnt remember meeting red or developing a relationship with him because he never had to. he was put into the world already prepared to love red. its what he was designed to do. the three of them were designed to be a family, and duck is happy to comply with that script. although he doesnt see it as a script and sees it as his own choice to love them— which isnt technically wrong! i feel the house doesnt give them feelings— only puts them in a situation. so while they have no choice but to live together forever— its their choice to enjoy that life. duck chooses to.

red isnt happy to comply with a script at all, but he was also designed to live with duck and has his entire existence. theres a point at the funeral where red slips up. he refers to the plates on the ground as “our plates” while arguing that he doesnt know duck at all. theres an intimacy in sharing everything down to plates. they also share a room and bathe together (shown MULTIPLE times!) so no matter how much red denies it— he is extremely close to duck. he has no choice but to be. i feel thats one reason why he denies it so much— because he sees it as forced, and he doesnt want that. but i think duck would choose him anyway even if they werent forced to live together and thats why it works.

duck doesnt see it as forced because hed love red no matter the situation. no matter if they were chained to each other or free to go— duck would stay right there. but red wants that freedom. so he presents himself as if he dislikes or doesnt know duck to give himself the illusion of freedom from their shared cage. he doesnt think hed miss duck fully if he was gone. he even gets excited at the idea of living apart in transport.

but its all denial. because he would also choose duck if they werent stuck together! when theyre in the dark and red cant see him— he realizes he WANTS to look at duck. he WANTS to talk to him. he would CHOOSE to do so if he wasnt forced, and he HAS chosen to do so throughout the entire show, whether or not hes realized it. red gets more comfortable at the idea of spending time together because, yes, they are technically forced to share the house. but it doesn’t have to be that way! not in their hearts. not in their minds. thats the way duck sees it, anyway.

they might not always agree on things, but when they do it sometimes devolves into something terrible. There is a point where red guy gives up. he starts to give into the lessons because its easy. because sometimes he DOES enjoy them. sometimes hes just too tired and falls into the pattern he hates because its simple to do so. and maybe after years of being beaten down into submission he starts to agree with duck and see no hope of escape. thats when, at least from how i see it— they evolve into bigger boys.

its not shown how the boys get bigger but its obviously a progression. a slow ascent into madness. i think it starts with them becoming hopeless, and then finding hope in the lessons. theres nothing else to latch on to— so they latch onto them with everything they can. they learn everything they possibly can. they grow and grow and get higher and higher until theyre dangerous. until theyre more self-centered and cruel than theyve ever been. eventually they become too knowledgeable to be taught anything. they become a part of the house rather than occupants of it. soon theyre pulling the strings and torturing smaller creatures for their own enrichment. it gives them a sense of power over themselves knowing once they were in that creatures place. they finally feel in control of their lives but at what cost?

all of this is done with them completely glued to the others hip. despite getting more self-centered they just cant let go of each other. theyre tangled together like weeds. they love each other and they cant let that go— but they cant admit that or indulge in proper companionship because thats vulnerable, and theyre too BIG now to be vulnerable! so they sit across the room. never quite separate but never quite together. its better to be 10 feet apart and never look at each other than to be without each other. loneliness was always their greatest enemy and even while being trapped in close proximity forever they cant seem to escape it.

but there is a smaller version of them, a small moment in time where theyre happy together. where they can sit and have a conversation without fear of judgement. theres no stage-lights on them and the darkness hides their shame. they can actually tell each other how they enjoy the others company. they can be honest and vulnerable.

to duck its normal to tell red he appreciates him (in his own way) but for red to say so is shocking. duck is surprised. but hes happy. and they can spend time together being completely honest and loving each other without it being a big deal at all. without any worry. but those are the moments that always go first. the moments in their memory that deteriorate the quickest. maybe if that moment lasted— maybe if their walls were broken for long enough— they couldve started to get better. they couldve grown to be kinder. they couldve grown to be happy together. but they never have the chance to keep it long enough.

they live everyday as close housemates. they slip into a domestic life that comes naturally to them even when they may not realize. but when they actually start to think. as soon as a song comes on its so much more than that. and neither of them really want it to be— or they do but they dont know in what way or how. they dont know how to explain things to each other. they dont REMEMBER enough to discuss it. so it festers until it ruins them. every single time

tldr fluffybird is like this:

i cant keep reliving the same day every day. I cant bear to forget it all again. even when im too tired to fight ill still have the belief deep inside of me that theres somewhere out there better than this. that theres a version of me out there better than the one i am. i hope to find it some day and i hope to have you with me. i wish i could leave without you but im too much of a coward. This cant be all there is and i will prove it to you someday.

im fine reliving everything as long as its with you, exactly as you are. as long as youre willing to listen when i repeat myself. this IS all there is and im alright with that. an organ or two is a small price to pay to live forever with my family. youre ungrateful for wanting to run, think of all weve done together! but i know you will anyway. so ill be waiting to say “i told you so!” and then we’ll walk home. it might tear us apart but its still our home. this is as good as it gets.

RANDOM FUN FACT AND FAVORITE SCENE TIME!!!!

easy one first— RED is ducks favorite color! which is made even more fruity with the context that duck enjoys specifically LOOKING at red guy!

red and duck have matching pillows! theres two green pillows that you can see in the living room. sometimes theyre together on reds chair and other times theyre split between his and ducks chairs! theyre also in the webseries on their beds— but ONLY on theirs! yellow doesnt have one of these. at least i dont remember so. might be wrong but from what i can tell these pillows are always for duck and red only. at least most of the time if yellow does ever have one!

there are multiple pieces of concept art of 1: them being silly and 2: them being closer than in the final scenes. the original concept for the big boys shows them sitting MUCH closer and their arms intertwined, whereas in the final shot theyre not touching each other at all and duck is moved completely across the room (they are fucking ginormous irl tho to be fair)

some of my favorite pieces of concept art tho are this little selfie of duck and red with his little peace sign and their arms wrapped around each other in front of a mountain <333 AND THEN DUCK DOING REDS HAIR :DD

one of my favorite scenes of them is in jobs when red is rambling about his lanyard and duck says “what have they done to you?” it sounds so genuine and its a really nice line. it really points out that as judgmental as duck is he worries when red isnt acting himself

speaking of jobs theres a running gag of duck disliking when red is clothed starting with this episode (ironically the first episode) when he walks into reds office he asks “what are you wearing?” and laughs at him. its obviously not about the suit itself because duck also wears a suit— so its easy to assume duck is mocking him because he looks silly in any clothes at all. red isnt supposed to wear clothes— and he also feels uncomfortable in them. its not HIM and duck thinks he looks like an idiot for trying to play someone else. he also gags when red wears denim in friendship which is honestly foul of him 😭. no matter the reason tho he canonically prefers red naked.

on a similar topic— there arent many dirty jokes in the show but when there are they almost ALWAYS come from or are about duck. but occasionally red will get caught in the cossfire. the CONSENT teacher shows up after something duck says in the big room. conveniently a room they share without a yellow normally there. thats then followed up by a rock teacher appearing which is a bit awkward considering duck has “private business” with a rock in transport. then to make matters even worse in the bigger room yellow tells them to “experiment on each other”(?!!?) to which duck turns to red and goes “would you be keen?”(😭⁉️)

(the scene where duck looks red up and down in the car is debatable but ill mention it anyway!!)

its hard to ever truly confirm this one because it was never recorded but the reason fluffybird kicked off so hard back in 2022/23 was because a producer on the show during a qna told everyone to continue shipping red and duck! there were multiple people from around different corners of the internet who went to this qna and all had the same story, so i dont think its a lie but i still cant tell you we have full proof. i know becky and joe repost and encourage fanart of them tho, and thats basically the same thing so. anyway

when dhmis won comedy awards they held the trophies together <333

do i even have to mention the fridge scene? well i am!! theres something to be said about how their little confession happens in an episode about and titled “electricity” when electricity and “sparks” between people is a very common trope/phrase in romance. this one is sort of a stretch but i think its neat!

i dont know if becky joe and baker terry had any intentions back in the webseries days for them but the LOVE episode and the way red and duck were left alone at the picnic (mirroring the fridge scene!!!) looks gay as fuck with hindsight bias

when duck comes back from being dead and red is surprised to see him i think the way he says “oh.. hi!” and duck says “helloooo :DD!” is really sweet :(( not to mention the whole argument at the funeral itself. absolute messy ass gay ppl. i dont want YOU i want my BEST FRIEND !!!! and duck was going to leave red his diary… yes it was empty but its still his DIARY!!

the way they email EACHOTHER during computer day is so fucking cute theyre so fucking stupid i love them 💔

the way duck reacts in the food episode isnt talked about enough!! he tears down EVERYTHING to find red. he literally knocks over a camera!! he literally broke reality because he was so desperate to answer the phone. he missed red more than anything and was doing everything he could to find him :(( not to mention how he had to fight his OWN memory in order to remember who red was in the first place! hes always loved him in whatever way :((

the way red laughs when theyre picking on yellow together.. its fucked up and also red is a hypocrite but duck made him laugh and thats something!

the way red tried to comfort duck in the beginning of electricity when he starts to freak out and worry about yellows behavior. he wasnt doing a good job and you could argue he was doing it for selfish reasons and not to actually comfort duck but i really feel it was both. just trying to calm the both of them down.

speaking of electricity again… the way hes washing dishes while duck does a crossword makes me wanna throw up. theyre literally a family. its one of my favorite scenes in the entire series. just in general. i love yellow here too its not abt him rn but i love my son :(((

alright there’s definitely more but im really tired lol so bye fluffybird nation hope this post was fun!!!!!!

EDIT: OH MY GOD I CANT BELIEVE I FORGOT TO MENTION STAIN EDWARDS! In death red molds someone else into being duck, looking like duck, sounding like duck— all because he cant let go of him. yellow goes out to dig him up but red doesnt think its possible so he just makes a new one. and you can hear how desperate he is to make sure hes JUST RIGHT. even stain edwards asks him if he has “issues he needs to work out”… which clearly he does. i cant believe i forgot to mention this cuz this is some insane levels of homosexuality. off the fucking charts

[creaturing-your-faves]

(If you're comfortable with this) could you make a tutorial on how you make your creations??? It'd okay if not, thank you for making them :D

WAA i can try!! baby's first tutorial ft. this guy

🐾 first, a picture of your blorbo

i use waifu2x to up the quality, not always neccessary but it makes everything a bit easier and prettier. i use firealpaca to edit but you can use whatever you like, im not your mom

🐾 probably get a reference

yeah i dont always do this. but you should! i should! so google whatever creature you want to turn blorbo into and maybe scroll for a bit to get a feel for what they look like :3

try to find one at a similar angle to your blorbo picture and paste it/open as a layer. look this is close enough ↓

🐾 onto the actual editing! human ear surgery

in case you prefer just one pair of ears. you have to understand the style so you can imitate it.... so look at their hair, maybe theres more colors or gradients than you can see at a glance or something ! i colorpick a bunch of them and put them over their ears, then blend them together with a low opacity watercolor brush

ALSO, notice the.. lighter glowy aura thing around his ear in the og? i try to imitate details like that too, used watercolor for this again

now maybe you wanna make it look like theres something covering that spot, since theres kinda nothing there now. soo if that looks weird to you, (open a new layer and) put some hair over it. i cant tell u how to imitate Any style so just. study it and keep trying

with enstars here the lines are pretty soft, so i go over it with watercolor brush after doing the general shape. with a higher opacity you could probably just use a softer brush from the start, i just like starting with the basic pen

🐾 the lines!!!

nowww i lower the blorbos opacity to around 50%, bring the reference somewhere i can see and just kinda... start sketching. lot of redrawing and transform tooling here sometimes

TIPS 1. you can clean the lines up at the end so dont stress

2. think of your blorbos new ears as a real tangible part of their body and how they fit on their head since you dont wanna make it look too flat !

3. and for the placement i always end up at roughly one human ear length above their og ears if that makes sense. tried to visualize it

as for inner ear fluffs phew i dont know either. draw a circle and start from there? maybe there are actual animal ears in blorbo artstyle out there you could reference

🐾 coloring 🏳️‍🌈

finally some progress huh. i color the lines in a contrasting color first so i see the lines properly and dont miss anything, then fill it in with the actual color :3 OH and for gradients i just use the airbrush at the ear tips or sides

noww shading! new layer, basic pen brush and try to follow the shapes in the og art. it's best if you pick the colors from the actual picture!!! take notes mentally and just do your best i dont know how to explain this more

taking this as an example, the shading is mostly in pretty simple wider areas, so not a lot of seperate strands in there. and its again pretty soft around the edges of shades and highlights, so i'll go over it with my beloved watercolor. keep things like that in mind so the creaturing blends in well :3

if you like more detail better you can still go with that. or less detail on a complex artstyle. the world is your oyster

🐾 and the rest

what else could there be???? making the lineart more cohesive for example ★ oftentimes it's not one solid color, thicker or thinner than yours, things like that.

for things like piercings or fangs you can just draw them on top i believe in you <3 if its like an intricate earring use the lasso? magic wand? the one that lets you select an area to copy and move on top of your ear layers

+ remember details like shadows, if you put a tail on top of say blorbos leg there's gonna be a shadow under it! put a layer under the tail ones and freehand draw the shadow, OR copy the tail layer, put the copy under the og one and change color/opacity until it fits

[ge]

can I hear more abt your trans chung myung thoughts please

.

HEHE ANYTHING FOR YOU MY ANGELS... trans chung myung is like my number one, most well loved & personal, firmest hc evur.. no matter what he is always trans to me idk..he is like the most trans character ive ever seen its sooo real to me.. ive said it once ill say it again, chung myungs lore is literally impact by his transsexualism and im the only one who sees it.. if u get it u get it... a little cw for minor transphobia out of ignorance, not prejudice..⬇️

i always imagined that chung myung knew he was trans since he was very young, like 'beginning to comprehend words and what they mean' young.. he always got angry and aggressive when his sect siblings called him young lady or samae, sajeo, etc, lashing out even at elders to the point hed get in trouble over it... i think pretty quickly everyone figured out if they just 'humoured' him, he'd get over whatever phase he was in and stop being so troublesome, so they did.. at first they began using more masculine terms and honourifics in a 'wink wink nudge' indulgent kind of way but they noticed as he got older, he started inserting himself into more male dominated spaces, even going so far as to bathe and groom himself w the other male disciples

at first it kind of set off red flags for everyone who were still under the impression chung myung was still just going through his little 'phase' but i think chung mun was the first who stepped up and actually ASKED chung myung about it.. he pulls chung myung to the side one day and asks WHY chung myung keeps doing the things he does and chung myung frowns and says because im a boy sahyung..DUH.. chung myung explains the best he can but bc he doesnt really know how to articulate himself on these matters (doesnt know any other trans people or experiences outside of his own and cant put it into words properly) and bc chung mun is cis, chung mun is still a little confused but now he understands chung myung isnt like..joking about this, or going through some sort of phase.. he seemed genuinely put out and upset when implied chung mun didnt understand him so from that day forward chung mun very firmly introduces chung myung to everyone in the sect as their littlest brother and that was pretty much that..

it probably took some people a while to wrap their head around, but because i dont want anyone in mt hua to be transphobic LOL they all understand and accept chung myung as their new baby brother pretty quickly and soon they dont even bat an eye seeing him train topless or bathe w the rest of the guys, doing other guy dominated activities, etc.. when he got older it was just normalized that one of their brothers had boobs..literally nobody gaf theyre REAL trans allies.. mount hua most PROGRESSIVE MARTIAL ARTS SECT

also majorly hc chung myung does not have any bodily dysphoria/morphia and is perfectly fine w the way he looks, especially after he gets older and starts building lots of muscle, so he never undergoes any gender affirming surgeries but he does take wuxia testosterone pills.. cuz i think the idea of wuxia magic hormone pills is hilarious and awesome

ive also put some thought into whether cho sams body would be trans or cis, because either could be interesting.. i feel like if cho sam were cis it would actually invoke body image issues and dysphoria in chung myung, having been thrust into a body so unfamiliar & alien to him than the one he spent the most time living in and caring for.. i dont really think too much in depth about this tho so my thoughts on it are pretty vague.. is cho sam cis or trans? (shrugs) up to you!

ummm *scratches ass* i cant think of anything else to say.. trans chung myung is so awesomesauce and i love projecting my own transmasc wants and desires onto him and into a world that accepts and loves him for who he is.. i have more thoughts about his relationship w tang bo and the world around them and how they view him but those are a little more personal and nuanced so i wont get into all dat.... when rotmhs gets more popular i hope trans chung myung hc blows up cuz its sooo real... something something chung myungs reincarnation into cho sam is a trans allegory

[powerpolyculeshowdown]

hey!! sorry im taking so long to start either of the polls, i was sick for a little while but some other things came up as well, which has made it hard for me to properly plan a whole competition (they take more work then i remembered!!)

i want to write a description for each polycule in the self indulgent one since theres no submissions i could take propaganda from, that plus finding good images takes quite a bit of work that i cant put in right now. But im not quitting!! It might just take me another week or two before i can start.

I debated for a while on whether or not to make a post explaining but (after many years of trying) i was finally able to get an appointment w a psychologist! its next week, im not sure how its gonna go, ive had amazing experiences w therapy as well as some shitty ones, so meeting a new therapist is always terrifying which means my anxiety is through the roof and unfortunately the polls moved down on my priority list because of that. But this is a good thing!! It's vrry hard to get an appointment using our universal healthcare system where i live so this is rlly good news to me!!

Meanwhile, if you follow other polyamory polls (be it ships or characters) that you'd like me to promote, reply to this post w their @ or send me an ask and ill happily share it!!!

thank u for ur understanding, and i will do my best to start the polls before multiamory march ends!!!

[pumpkinsy0]

idk how to describe this post, but just describing characters psyche lol

darry,dally, and tim- they have little to no genuine support system and have to harbor everything they go through pretty much alone and bottle shit up cause growing up quickly sucks

tim- his parents werent rlly parents, so he had to emotionally mature fast and understand what they did wrong in life and in having kids so that he could better take care of angela and curly, he learns quickly that looking out for ur own blood can save ur skin more than yknow it, his parents arent around rlly anymore and he doesnt exactly know where they run off to even if they come back home for a few days but he knows theyll never learn that

angela- she canonically had a break down about her life being actual dogshit and bryon says that in the morning she’ll go back to her own stone cold strong self cause thats just the way she is, that's just the way she's learned to go through life

literally every singular one of the characters LMAOOO- its self explanatory HOWEVER i will highlight darry here

curly- faces a shit ton of oppression (even if u dont agree w him being queer hes still black to me but if u dont see him as black hes still a poc and a greaser) so hes just learned to do whatever he wants bc no matter what he does hes always gonna b judged so y not live life to the fullest and in a way that makes him happy, he’ll still be shunned, but at least he’ll be happy

tim- i cant properly find the words to explain it, but someone needs to check up on this nigga fr, a good portion of the neighborhood is religious, especially the older ppl yet they always judge him for one thing and another, nobody is rlly genuinely hoping (or in this case praying) he gets better

curly- shameless reminder that i ship purly, so I thought about curly saying this to pony for a sec cause i think cures that type guy to just explore the world any way he wants and he'll do anything to get someone to join him in on it

this is also for very obvious reason two bit, soda and if u squint, steve

darry- he cares for pony sm it comes off to pony that he doesnt care at all, pony needs his space to breathe and darry doesnt wanna let em go

the shepards but most particularly angela- for some reason she held her parents in a high light cause unlike some kids in the neighborhood they had them both, curly and tim knew this wasn't rlly the case very quickly and as angela grew up, bit by bit she knew what they meant and would lay or even cry in bed over it

TAKE AWAY THAT THESE R COUSINS PLS ONLY PAY ATTENTION TO THE WORDS THATS WHAT IM TRYNNA HIGHLIGHT HERE IM BEGGING U

purly- either way u chose who's who the other has always felt like they weighted other ppl down (for ponys case) or like theyre just to far gone to be helped (for curlys case), they still love each others company because they see the other as being worth it/deserving of it

however if u dont ship purly or can't get over em being cousins this is literally darry and pony or johnny and pony for like the same exact reason

[moonferry]

new fsioy chapter? and its chapter 13?? i see what u mean..

first of all, thank you guys for being so understanding about me needing to break these up. you guys are literally amazing. i cant thank you enough for that. second of all, this is still not the "big one" ive been forewarning. yes, some things happen, but what im currently cooking is going to be worse than what you read here today.

warnings: rifle/gun use, self defense/killing in self defense, guilt, injury, knives, knife related injury, hospital mention, death/death due to self defense. scarring/scars

word count: 3876

summary: kent adjusts to the rigorous training of the new camp, briefly thinks about jodi, witnesses a demonstration of how to use rifles, and is thrust directly into the nearby territory to "look for resources". kent is attacked and injured, lee steps in to safe him but can't handle the cost.

ao3 link: here

other chapters: chapter master list

The day continued and Kent managed to make it through yet another round of training exercises. When he felt like his body was going to collapse from exhaustion, the general in charge blew a whistle and signaled they would have a short break. Kent was extremely grateful and sprawled out on the grass beneath him. 

He looked at the sky and felt a small wave of homesickness wash over him. He knew that, back in the city, Jodi was looking at the same sky he was. Kent missed Jodi and - because of all the commotion recently - hadn't been able to properly write her a letter. He didn't even know what he would say or what he could say. Talking about Danny made him upset but there wasn't anything else he could think about - other than his own selfishness and guilt, but that eventually tied back into the previous topic. Kent sighed, shaking the idea from his head entirely. 

He watched the clouds and tried to find any distinct shapes. Though, he couldn't help but remember how he had done something similar with Jodi before he left. That thought made his heart ache even more and Kent wondered how long it would be before he could see Jodi again. His Jodi. Well, while he called her that name, it wasn't entirely true. If anything, he was more “her Kent”.  After all, she was the one who had chosen to marry him. She could've had anyone in the entire world, yet she chose to be with him. He didn't quite understand why she chose him - all he knew was that he was grateful she did. He was happy to be her husband, to be “her Kent”. 

Kent looked at the sky once again, though it was soon clouded by a strange shadow blocking his vision. He glanced around confusedly before realizing someone had walked up to him and was now peering down at him from above. 

“What are ya doin’, lad?” Willy called out. He gently nudged Kent with his boot, raising an eyebrow. 

“Cloud gazing,” Kent replied. 

“Why, though?” Willy asked, his confusion growing. 

“I’m not quite sure, actually,” Kent started, furrowing his brows as he tried to think of the reason for his actions. It soon popped into his head and he added, “I think.. I think it's because I miss my wife. She loves the sky, you know? She once told me she wanted to become an astronomer so I guess.. I sort of associate the sky with her.” 

“Ah.. I see,” Willy spoke with a small nod. “I've never been married meself, so I can't relate to that.. But, when you get done fantasizin’ about that lass of yers, I have a job for you,” He explained carefully, giving Kent another encouraging nudge with the toe of his boot. 

Kent pushed himself into a standing position, dusted off the hem of his uniform and followed Willy to a nearby shack. As Willy opened the door, Kent’s eyes widened at the contents. It appeared to be a weapons storeroom, filled to the brim with different rifles and ammunition. Kent gulped. He knew that was obviously a part of his training, but he hadn't imagined he would actually hold one in his hands - or even see one, for that matter. Willy grabbed the nearest one before carefully placing it into Kent’s arms. 

“Follow me. I'll show ya how to use one o’ these, buggers,” Willy instructed. Though he didn't wait on any protest or further comments from Kent before walking away - causing Kent to yelp and speed walk to catch up. When he finally caught up to Willy, he noticed several other cadets - one being Lee. He waved at his friend, though he noticed Lee seemed slightly queasy. 

The demonstration was very quick, yet somehow informative. By watching Willy, Kent was able to glean what was happening. Target practice, he concluded, and some people seemed to be having a tougher time than others. 

“Willy, do I really have to do this?” Lee asked, his voice filling with concern. His face turned slightly green with nausea. Kent knew Lee hated weapons of any kind. He felt sorry for his friend. 

“Aye, lad,” Willy confirmed, giving a small nod. “It's important you learn how to defend yourself.” 

“Besides, you will only use this for self defense, do you understand, son?” 

Lee gave a meek nod in Willy’s direction. He held the rifle securely in his arms, resting the butt against his shoulder before squaring his hips - aligning his feet toward the target. He took a deep breath, felt his finger tightening against the trigger. Kent said a silent prayer to Yoba - hoping Lee didn't accidentally miss and maim himself or Willy - before watching him aim directly at the distant target and release his finger. The gun resounded with a sharp bang and recoiled harshly against his shoulder. Kent gritted his teeth, trying not to wince on Lee’s behalf. He knew that must've hurt. 

Once everyone was properly trained, they were given assignments in what remained of the nearby town. Ideally, they would survey the town, scrounge up anything useful, and then report back to Willy with their findings. But nothing ever went accordingly, did it? No, Kent knew something would go wrong the second he stepped into the outskirts of the dilapidated town. 

He glanced around and tried to note anything that seemed interesting - which was a particularly hard task, since everything was ruined and appeared to be covered in a thick layer of ash. It made him wonder what exactly transpired. He also wondered what happened to all the people. As he kept walking further into the town, he had yet to see a single person (other than his squad mates, that is). It worried him. He knew there were rumors of the Gatoro Empire’s cruelty - how they wiped out entire towns or took civilians hostage. He shuddered just thinking about it. Maybe everyone was successfully evacuated and nothing bad happened? He hoped so, anyway. 

Kent continued his search - yet he still came up empty handed. Nothing seemed useful in this place, so why was Willy making them investigate? More importantly, what would happen if he didn't find anything of value? Kent shuddered once again. He really didn't want to find out, so he kept looking. Kent approached another building and carefully pushed the door open with the edge of his rifle. It edged open slowly and revealed a messy room: tables overturned, dishes broken and the shards of porcelain scattered across the floor, and a small, bare mattress in the corner. 

Kent sighed, assuming he had come upon yet another house that yielded nothing of value. He gave a quick look around anyway and, when he was met with nothing, he turned to exit. However, a small flash of movement appeared in his peripheral vision. Kent stopped in his tracks. The sound of shuffling and clamoring drew him closer to the overturned table. He carefully approached before peering over the edge of the table. 

To Kent’s surprise, he saw a woman - who looked no older than her mid twenties. Her eyes were red and puffy, as if she hadn't slept in several days. Her hair was jet black - long and tangled into knots around the edges. Her clothing was tattered.  Her eyes widened as she looked at Kent, noticing the rifle in his hands. She backed against the wall, afraid. Kent noticed her fear and frowned. 

“I'm not going to hurt you, okay?” Kent spoke calmly. He placed his rifle down, gently kicking it away before raising his hands to show her he was now unarmed. He waited, watching her scrutinize him before attempting to speak again, “I'm here to help you, I promise.”

Kent reached his hand out in an attempt to help the woman up. She grabbed it and moved into a standing position. Unfortunately her eyes flashed crazily and she leapt over the side of the table, tackling Kent in the process. He fell backwards, hitting the ground with a faint “oomph”. The woman hovered over him and unsheathed a small blade. Kent’s eyes widened. 

“Wait- I’m not gonna hurt you!” Kent protested, his voice cracking with fear. But it didn't seem like the woman heard him. The woman lunged and Kent held up his arm to block the blow. The knife slashed through his uniform, cutting into the skin beneath. He let out a groan of pain, gritting his teeth. 

He glanced to his left and looked at his discarded firearm. If only he could reach it. He stuck his uninjured arm out and attempted to grasp the barrel of the rifle. Unfortunately, it was much farther away than he anticipated. He tried to scoot himself closer, wincing as he used his injured arm to propel himself. Kent had almost managed to grab it when the woman struck again. He barely reacted fast enough to shove her weapon away, though it earned him another nasty gash on his forearm. 

Kent attempted to push the woman off of him but her knees dug into his chest. While he was attempting to free himself, the woman lunged once more - landing a nasty blow on the side of his face and sinking the weapon into the tender flesh of the corner of his mouth. He let out a scream of agony as the metallic taste of blood seeped onto his tongue. 

Kent’s scream was quiet, but loud enough to be heard by anyone in the general vicinity. Lee’s ears perked up at the sound and he rushed into the building, nearly knocking the door off its hinges as he forced it open. His eyes widened at the scene. Lee froze as the woman raised her knife once again. Kent attempted to roll out of the way and received another wound - a deep cut across the bridge of his nose. He let out another cry before glancing up and noticing Lee. 

“Lee!” He called out, pleading with his friend to do something. 

Lee’s hands were shaking. He held the rifle in his hands, the tremors nearly causing him to drop it. He looked between the two - his friend, being violently attacked, and a woman whom he didn't know. His mind raced. It was possible Kent had just startled her, she couldn't actually want to harm him, right? His ears rung with the sound of Kent’s pleas for help. Lee thought back on Willy’s words earlier that day. This certainly constitutes “self defense” he reasoned with himself. 

Kent called once again, groaning as the knife struck him once more. Lee hesitated, overtaken by indecision. He couldn't hurt anyone - no, he wouldn't hurt anyone, but if he didn't, he might lose another friend. He also knew that the longer he stood without acting, the worse the situation would become. 

Lee gulped. He felt something overtake him: a battle between two sides of himself, the pacifist and the friend. One half argued he could run away, to leave this situation to someone else, the other half knew that no one else was coming - if anyone was going to fix this, it had to be him. Eventually, one won over the other. He was tired of running away from things. Lee steadied his grip and silently hoped his aim was true. He closed his eyes and fired. 

A figure slumped and the faint clatter of metal was heard as the knife hit the floor. Kent scrambled backwards, pushing the woman off of him as a large red splatter seeped through the fabric of her torn shirt. He winced as he inspected his wounds - all of which were deep gashes that would take a while to heal, if they healed at all. 

Lee glanced at Kent and his breath hitched in his throat. He approached his friend and inspected him. 

“Oh, Yoba... Kent, you're bleeding,” Lee spoke, panic rising in his voice. His eyes widened and he looked around the room nervously. “Um.. I need to get you back. Let the medics look at you. Those look bad.” 

“I'll be fine, Lee,” Kent tried to convince his friend. Though, he winced as he tried to push himself up. His arms were shaking and the sleeves of his uniform were covered in rips. 

Lee frowned and motioned for Kent to stay still. He looked around the room and tried to find any sort of bandages. Lee gasped as his eyes landed on the woman laying on the ground, the pool of red spreading beneath her. 

“Oh.. my Yoba..” Lee exclaimed, his face paling. He suddenly looked as if he was going to vomit. A look of pure distress covered his face. He gripped his chest, hyperventilating as he back up against the wall. He slumped against the wall, sliding down to the floor and tightening his fist against the fabric of his shirt. 

“Did-. did I..? Is she..?” Lee stammered. His breathing sped up and Lee moved his hands to grip the sides of his head. He was rocking back and forth now, his eyes wide in a guilty panic. 

“It's not your fault, Lee,” Kent reassured, reaching a hand out and placing it on Lee’s shoulder. He winced at the movement. Kent was in unimaginable pain, but at least he was alive. All thanks to Lee. “You saved me, man. You did what you had to,” He added. 

Kent attempted to push himself into a standing position to comfort Lee further, though his arms were raw and achy. He didn’t manage to get very far before stumbling and landing back on the ground with a faint thump. Lee noticed the sound and shook himself out of his stupor. He couldn’t waste time feeling guilty, not when Kent was this badly injured. Lee looked at his friend and frowned - Kent was pale and had gashes lining both forearms and two deep cuts across his face. Kent also looked as if he was going to pass out any moment. 

“C’mon, man,” Lee spoke, momentarily pushing his own panic aside. He had more important things to worry about right now. Lee shakily stood up and approached Kent before reaching his hand out and attempting to help him stand. He hesitated, unsure of where to touch that would cause Kent the least amount of pain. Lee carefully wrapped his arms around Kent’s midsection and hoisted him upwards. Kent let out another groan of pain, though he let Lee help him into a standing position. 

“Can you walk by yourself?” Lee asked - his voice ripe with concern. Kent gave a small nod and attempted to take a shaky step forward. Unfortunately, he was still rather dizzy from blood loss and stumbled. Kent slumped against Lee’s side. “Okay.. I’ll take that as a no,” Lee added, a frown once again spreading across his lips. 

Lee exhaled a small breath as he thought about the best course of action. Obviously, he would have to provide some sort of support for Kent, but he couldn’t do that and carry both of their rifles at the same time. Asking Kent to carry something was out of the question, so Lee was limited on options. Eventually, he decided to simply make two trips. That seemed to be the easiest thing to do. With his plan in mind, he rested his hand on the small of Kent’s back - carefully draping Kent’s arm over his shoulder - and carefully guided him back to their camp. Lee glanced around, looking for the medical tent. He and Kent slowly crept towards the entrance of the tent. When they finally reached it, Lee flung open the fabric - accidentally startling one of the poor nurses inside. 

“Oh Yoba,” One the nurses exclaimed as she looked at the state Kent was in. She quickly approached the two boys and motioned for another nurse to clear a nearby cot. “What happened to him?” She asked frantically, his eyes widening with concern. 

“I’m not sure..,” Lee admitted, his brows knitting together. “We were on a mission - scouting for resources - and… and then I heard screaming from a nearby building. I ran in and saw he was getting attacked,” Lee explained carefully. 

The nurse nodded and motioned for Lee to follow her, Kent in tow. Kent was placed onto the edge of the cot. Kent glanced up at the worried faces above him and frowned. It couldn’t be that bad, could it? He felt fine, for the most part, just woozy and every part of him ached. He felt the softness of the padded cot beneath him and sunk into it, letting it cradle his aching body. 

The comfort of sleep compelled him and he began to slowly drift off. The two people above him spoke but it was distant and unintelligible. Kent didn’t feel like listening to them. He just wanted to sleep. To dream. He glanced up once again. This time, instead of the nurse and Lee above him, he saw the smiling face of his wife. Jodi giggled, clamping her hand over her mouth. Kent smiled up at her. Then everything went dark. Kent closed his eyes and finally allowed himself to succumb to the sweet siren call of sleep.

When Kent opened his eyes, he was incredibly confused - and sore. He wasn't aware of how long he'd been out. He could barely remember what happened. All he knew was that he was now covered in bandages and that everything hurt. Kent glanced around the dimly lit tent and tried to remember where he was. As he was doing this, Kent wondered where he friend had gone. He distinctly remembered entering - wherever he was - with Lee, but now the boy was nowhere to be seen. Kent thought it was quite odd. 

He continued to look around. His eyes landed on the slightly open flap at the front of the tent. He notices the silhouette of two people, one flailing their arms angrily. It sounded like some form of argument was going on outside. Kent strained his ears and tried to decipher what was being said. All he managed to catch was bits and pieces. 

“--Ever, and I mean ever, going to touch one of these things again.” 

“Aw, come on, lad, it’s not that bad.” 

“You weren't there. You don't know-” 

“I assure ya, I do.”

“I'm not ever going to touch one of these stupid things again. I don't want to hurt people, self defense or not.” 

With the last sentence, the figure on the left roughly shoved a long, awkwardly shaped object into the hands of the person they were talking to. Afterwards, the left figure stormed off, leaving the figure on the right shaking their head in disbelief. 

“Poor lad.. He's goin’ to get himself killed with that attitude..” The voice grumbled with a small sigh. They began to move, though not in the way Kent assumed. The figure approached the tent and Kent gave a small yelp. He laid back against the pillow and squeezed his eyes shut, pretending to be asleep. Maybe they wouldn't accuse him of eavesdropping? This could actually work! Kent thought silently as the man walked closer. He carefully peaked out of the corner of one of his eyes and noticed Willy pushing the flap of the tent open. 

“Kent, ya can open your eyes,” Willy spoke as he entered the tent. He continued, slight confrontation in his voice, “I know yer awake, son.” Guess not, he thought to himself. 

Kent opened his eyes and looked at Willy. The older man propped himself against the edge of Kent’s cot and leaned over, resting his elbows on his knees and hanging his head. 

“Ye know that friend o’ yers?” Willy spoke. His voice was rather calm, but Kent could tell he was exasperated.

“Lee? What about him?” Kent asked, tilting his head to the side in confusion. 

“You need ta look out fer him,” Willy explained, letting out a long sigh before adding, “do you understand me, lad?” 

“What? Why?” Kent replied. He knew Lee was particular about certain things, but that didn't mean he needed a babysitter. If anything, Lee proved himself far more capable than Kent. Kent couldn't save his friend, but Lee managed to do that. 

“He…” Willy started, pursing his lips as he debated how to say it nicely. 

“He..?” 

Willy took a deep breath and rubbed his sweaty palms against his thighs. He smacked his lips thoughtfully before speaking,  “Look lad, when I say this, I mean it nicely..” 

“Willy, please,” Kent pleaded and attempted to frown, though he winced as the skin around his lips moved. “Just spit it out. I'm sure I'll understand.” 

Willy closed his eyes, hesitating. Kent narrows his eyes in annoyance. Willy exhaled and finally blurted out his point, “I'm worried, about yer friend I mean. He refuses to use the rifles. With behavior like that.. well, I'm not t’ sure he’ll last long.”

“Willy, what exactly are you saying?” Kent asked, furrowing his brows. By the sound of it, Kent almost assumed he was insinuating something awful about Lee. Kent knew he was very sensitive to violence and that he absolutely despised weapons, but Kent didn't see how it could be a problem- it was just a personal preference, after all. 

Willy turned and looked at Kent, his expression turning serious. “I’m sayin’ he's going to get us all killed, Kent.” 

“What?” Kent asked, his voice coating with a mixture of shock and anger. He couldn't believe Willy had just said something like that - about Kent’s friend, nonetheless. His brows furrowed together and his lip quirked slightly to the side - not far, as Kent didn't want to harm himself further.

“Ah..” Willy spoke, realization washing over his features. He grimaced and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Look, son, I didn’t.. mean it like that, y’see? I'm just worried about the poor bugger. I don't want him to get stuck in a situation where he needs to defend himself and he can't.” 

Willy pursed his lips together, thinking. He thought some more before adding, “And - knowing you - you'd risk yer neck to save him. I don't want that to happen. So, please - for the sake of me poor ol’ heart - watch out for your friend. Try to convince him that it's a  necessary precaution.”

Kent raised his eyebrow skeptically. What Willy said did make sense, but Kent wasn't sure it would work. He knew Lee, which meant he also knew just how much something like this meant to him. There were very few things that Lee absolutely refused to do, so Kent knew this one must be of high importance to him. He didn't want to overstep or tell Lee that his preferences were invalid. On the other hand, he had already lost one friend. Kent wasn't sure he could handle losing another. 

He looked back at Willy and nodded. Willy reached over and gave a fatherly pat on Kent’s knee before standing. 

“Now, get yerself some rest. Ya need to take it easy. The nurse said ye lost alotta blood..” Willy spoke as he moved away from Kent's cot. He looked at him and gave a faint smile before adding, “You're going to have some pretty good scars there, lad.”

[jtl-fics]

omg wow. the new chapter wow WOW. WHERE DO I START OMG. jsjdjdjsjs i absolutely want to reread this chapter again after this bc omg the BUILDUP WAS SO INCREDIBLE WOW SO MUCH HAPPENED THIS CHAPTER I HAVE NO WORDS SERIOISLY OMGGGGG

the talk with ichirou and our boy ff is so funny in sm ways holy shiet and i loVED that it was feom ichirous perspective like ff is one incredibly hot mess but only we (and ff and nicky and gs know that of course) but literally everyone else including head of the mafia (or yakuza?) think he is the most competent incredible and coolest person to ever exist like ajdjhdjsjjs

and omg neil <3 we love to see neil eating and being surrounded by the love and family he deserves <3 and im really loving aaron in this fic like ik he was an asshole in the books but u can also sorta understand it and i love how ur portraying him just like idk how to explain it but yas <3 i feel like hes always so overlooked and forgotten so im really glad that he has his moments here (esp love it when hes bickering w the other monsters so it feels so real i luv it)

grandma smith is a gem as always and i find her and kevins relationship so hilarious and cute

the mix of povs was so cool i loved it, the way it flowed & the suspense!!!! so good omg. esp when it finally jumped to ff at the end LMAO GETTING THE REAL INFO!!!!!!!! damn smithy did so well especially him thinking he was talking to the police!!!! like sm could have gone wrong & his thoughts at the end PLS SO FUNNY!! no smithy ur not racist <3 but omg pls hes so cute i love him so so much

i cant wait for the next chapter thank u so much for writing this ahsjdjsjja

Real tears at this comment! This was such a nice thing to wake up to!!!!!!

I keep thinking that when I get around to properly writing this in not draft form (looking at you earlier chapters) I'm going to write some scenes from other character's POV (Grandma's whole 48 hours with the monsters from her POV and FF's POV as he talks to the nice FBI agent Iruma Matsumoto). Writing from Neil's POV inbetween helped me a lot in keeping this chapter from being too heavy. (Also snuck in a bit of the Neil & FF friendship)

Ichirou's POV and like turning the shit that FF WOULD SAY into stuff that Ichirou could misinterpret took me sooo long it's why the chapter came out so much later than I wanted it to (that and I spent most of my weekend building that link tree for the AUs)

Lol I just said this in a conversation I was having on here but YOU READ THAT ONE POST ABOUT NEIL'S GLOW-UP FROM THE BEGINNING OF HIS FRESHMAN YEAR AND YOU NEVER RECOVER. He's still too skinny!

Aaron is one of my favorite characters who does not get used enough IMO. Like he's fucking funny! Yeah he's kind of an asshole Neil's freshman year but like he's a STUDENT ATHLETE in PRE-MED dealing with THE MAFIA. Also I really love writing the Monsters as just like...normal guys. Like it's not all overwrought conversations sometimes it's "No Kevin, putting vanilla protein powder in chicken stock is not 'Like Chicken and Waffles' it's a CRIME."

I do feel bad about how GS is just constantly like dogging him but in a voice that makes him preen but like to be fair.... vanilla protein powder into her sweet grandson's soup.

FF is always worried about the most important things when faced with a situation. Like 'At least it's a beautiful day I can cloud watch as Captain Neil and Andrew murder me.' , 'I hope there's a bathroom in this torture chamber' , 'Oh gross he didn't wash his hands before he left the bathroom to go murder Captain Neil', and 'Oh no I WAS racist and RUDE. Why the fuck didn't I ask for his name BEFORE I had that conversation. GS raised you better!'

[lovediives]

i always wanna hear oomfie, lay them on me

HELP MEEE.. THANK YOU OOMFIEEEE!! UHM. WHEN I SAY INSANE. I /GEN MEAN ACTUALLY INSANE. MURDERS AND SHIT LMFAO

before anyone has the chance. NO THEY ARE NOT YANDERES. they will never BE YANDERES. please do NOT call them yanderes. thank you <3 this is just the work on a mentally ill kid who dealt with a lot of violence and coped like this. okay disclaimer out of the way...

okay. so to give the tldr. this is edgy shit i had since like TEN YEARS OLD. will i ever change it!!!!!!! HELL FUCKING NO! i call them my erm, well, number ocs! cause they dont have names. theyre just numbered LOL

this is 1-5 in order. theyre my ltitle silly billy insane girls (SORRY FOR THE OLD ART </3 ILL REDRAW THEM PROPERLY AT ONE POITN IN MY LIFE.........)

theres also men but im ngl. im lazy and dont feel like it.

01, the one with the yellow eyes, is probably the most unhinged. kinda goes on insane killing sprees and then when shes done with them shes like "waahh why did u hit me :( i didnt do anything" (04 plucked her for killing people again or something)

02 acts like shes better so shes always like "g-g-guys! we shouldnt kill people" and then when some man (best boy lawrence) cheats on 01. she like. unironically tortures him for three days straight. funny.

old 02 and lawrence meeting for the first time <3

old relationship chart. basically theyre all kind of obsessed with each other. and they all hate each lawrence for being an outsider of their weird little polycule. lawrence kinda dont gaf because 01 is obsessed with him and theyre in love (sorta) here is some art of these little freaks. 01 x lawrence YOU WILL ALWAYS BE REAL AND CANON (because i said so)

imagine i have more art and stuff of them (i deleted everything one day. dont worry about that) this is just becoming about 01 - 02 - lawrence but honestly. i need to go back to compile everything properly into a google slides or something because the amount of lore and timelines all of them have would be too insane to explain in one ask. check this out too i suppose!

i forgot the most important part <3 01-05 were all experimented on when they were kids and now they cant ever properly die. so their understanding of death is so convoluted and confusing. they all have a hatred for those who were never stuck in the lab and that's why they kill people......!

[pasharuu]

welps, since i got a little skrunkling in form of ararycan, lets talk about him. i hope it'll be a short one. (spoiler: no)

also to those who bumped onto my post in their or someone else's dash somehow: english is not my first language. so be ready for numerous "memories" and "forget" cuz my vocabulary is thin just like that. and some other weirdness of course.

first of all, i hate the dottore clone theory with every single cell in my body, and i want you to know that if you like it i dont care, so neither should you care about me hating it. im only speaking opinion here.

and also this is rather my headcanon just not to stay alongside with the mystery while theres a dottore theory around. i honestly dont believe in dottore theory, but i still cant prove it wrong properly due to lack of info, and that annoys me. but this headcanon doesnt attempt to debunk the theory somehow, these are just two completely different things not worth comparing.

but rlly, did anyone on that planet at least once look at ararycan's leaves more than once? cuz it feels like no one knows what is the form of the pattern. the theory followers say these are circles, on my plush these are rounded diamons. wtf dear fellow folks.

the headcanon is trying to explain ararycan's memory loss, as there is no information about this in the game. traveler and paimon just decide that "welp, aranara are forgetful sometimes" though its not really true, but its really odd of them to leave us on this cliffhanger. i once said that aranara never forget stuff unless they meet some certain condition. i didnt explain that well last time so lemme speak a word (although its gonna be long i fear, so once again, the orange text is not necessary)

in the beginning we were given with the idea that aranara dont forget anything, or at least dont forget anything as easily as we do. this was really the very first fact i learned about them since i found messily written notes very soon after i began my first walkthrough of aranyaka (funfact: in russian localization its not clear who is the author of these if you only see the first set of it, and i definitely remember that i was not able to read the next page at a place, so i bet i found it even before meeting arama in the very first time. i also found it in the second time only after completing the entire questline so imagine my face at that moment), and author of the notes says that he doesnt forget things easily, but still decides to make records because its fun to do. basically saying that these lads dont ever need to record things up cuz they remember it all by themselves.

then, during the part where we help guys in mawtiyima forest, we were told about the inscriptions on the walls. aragaru says that these are made only for humans, because aranara will not forget, while people have all the possibility to. all the other inscriptions on walls, if we keep the spoken idea in mind, are clearly made for humans as well. the only weirdness in this part is inscriptions in old vanarana, cuz the only one who needs these during the quest is arama, and its not really clear who these were written to in the first place. but we still cant say these were definitely written for aranara, or maybe i need to research more.

the events of agnihatora sutra and vimana agama are the ones that made people think that aranara are forgetful. the second one is the mystery we are trying to solve in this article, but the first one told you everything you need, but its absolutely understandable if you didnt get it in the first time (neither did i if u wonder). in agnihatora sutra the three are aware that the thing theyre going to commit is gonna make them forget everything, so they were hinting it for us carefully, yet not saying directly that they will forget us. in the very end of this questline they tell us about the sacrifice they're going to commit, and that sacrifice is actually their memories, even though its not shown on screen, unlike the sacrifice of arana's memories to get the bija. that is why we were later told that these guys dont emember us while everyone else do.

also there's the fact araja troubles to remember the events of the past, but this dude actually grew into a tree, and just like i said in the cinnamon arama article, that might be the reason of his memory loss. araja also didnt forget everything that he had expirienced before he became a tree, as sometimes he still recalls to some things as his own memories.

after all, aranara gain actual power with memories and it would be weird if you'd randomly forget stuff and lose yo power just like that. they cherish memories more than anything, either these are good or bad, and the idea of forgetting is terrifying to them (the most memorable to me was the moment when arama complained about alcohol cuz it makes people forget stuff. paimon said that sometimes there are things people want to forget, but arama was still negative about that). well, actually there is a thing they cherish more. this thing is called "friendship", and the idea is that even if you forget something, there will be friends who'll remind you, so thats why they are more dear to aranara, even more than the memories. this is as well the idea of "the forest will remember" thing, cuz aranara are friends to all the plants, animals, some humans and each other, so theres just no possibility for the entire forest (all of these things) to forget something. but that still doesnt remove the importance of memories cuz these are power and these are memories, it'll take a lot of time to gain them back, so losing them is only worth when its absolutely necessary. also remember that stories and memories are not the same, so just summarizing things up to someone wont work.

and that concludes my orange explaination, now back to vimana agama mystery!!!!

so my take is that ararycan mustve sacrificed his memories for something. if we'll try to recreate the chronological order of the events of the past, we'll see that aralohita, who possibly was some sort of a buddy to ararycan, disappears after ararycan lost his memories. or if he lost part of them, its possible that aralohita disappeared prior to that. both versions explain why ararycan still remembers the solution to aralohita's riddles.

ararycan once says that he was the one who brought the ruin golem part into the secret cave, but for now he doesnt seem to be as strong, he rather acts like a very brave weakling. as we know, aranara gain power with memories, so no wonder ararycan is a weakling now, not remembering everything. but still, his awareness about some things looking familiar makes me think that he might have lost part of his memories, but how come?

we know that ararycan most likely was the third one alongside royinjan and amadhiah in the past, so all the vamadhas, including the one that was sealing the secret base, most likely were set after the childhood of the two, which means that might happened not too long ago. that might line up with a fact that pir kavikavus accident happened around the same time, because vamadhas were obviously set for reason. i recall ararycan saying that vamadhas are set when aranara dont want nara to enter some certain places, but says that he doesnt know who set these. so i think that actually could be ararycan, but since he lost his memories, no wonder he doesnt remember about it. and so uh, setting these could be resulted in memory loss as it might take some power. he probably did know that amiti device might be used for no good by some foes, so vamadhas are only set in places that either have amiti device fragments in them or places related to it somehow (and nowhere else, by the way, so vamadha is for sure some kind of ararakalari that both ararycan and aralohita used to wield). we can see the direct memory loss from using ararakalari in case of arama, when the one hit one of ruin guards really hard and returned back to goofy. we dont know how the memories amount needed to do some action is measured, but if we connect the dots, it all seems possible.

the only question left is why the heck did ararycan move the detail into the cave and the answer is i dont know. it was def moved before the cave was sealed since roy (seemingly) confirms this place not changing at all since he was a kid, and probably even before the kids found this cave because otherwise someone said something like "dude, i recall this place empty, but then somehow this huge detail appeared here, no clue how tho i dont remember". but why did ararycan move it there is forever a mystery it seems, unless aralohita is confirmed to be his accompany most of the time and prolly found alive ofc. aralohita might say something about it in that case, unless he forgot everything as well. but its all just my silly wishes.

also arama, while summarizing the places we shall visit, says that ararycan may know something about the sus person we were looking for. ararycan later confirms he used to help kids in vimara village cuz arana asked him, but thats all he says, none of details were thrown after that. his wording that marana avatar is capable of the trouble feels weird, but marana avatar to aranara is many things, not only the actual marana avatar, so he could be calling fatui like that. i now think that ararycan could possibly help us with finding out who the sus person is but for whatever reason it was cut down by his own troubling.

and i know that at this moment it feels like im just coping but idc. once again, my speculations have nothing to do with the dottore clone theory, its just a thing im rather comfortable with. fact of the day: dottore is my least favorite character in the entire genshin impact (among some that are somehow major) and i'll be quite disappointed if my precious ararycan turns out to be his clone or creation or whatever. i wont argue with it, i'll only throw, tear and murder.

and that concludes my tractate. it took me the whole day to put in words and i feel empty rn, especially since i dont know many words, and if you ever ask me why am i speaking english if i could just use my first language - none of your business. if u ask me why i made this tractate - none of your business. till the next time.

[loycos]

the execution was bad. if u felt like caitlyn's turn was very abrupt, it means they didnt set it up properly. yes, desire is a strong emotion. but it has to be established well to sell the idea.

for this abrupt turn to work, i need to understand just how disillusioned caitlyn is with ambessa, but they gave me like 1 scene of it, which was 2 episodes ago. i need to understand exactly how caitlyn's vengeful rage went away. what is she thinking? last time we saw her she was turning very hostile towards zaunites. when did this change? how did it change? saying "time passed lol" isnt enough. i wanna see what she went through emotionally, and we didnt get that all act. act 1 was very good at establishing how she had changed from a sweet well meaning girl into a hateful revenge focused person, in a way that felt natural to her character. why cant i see it on the way back? why "ooop vi" enough to explain that away? and im not saying vi cant be a reason, but she cant be the only reason, and if she IS the only reason, why hadnt we seen caitlyn mention her or even signs of her THINKING about her?

so like u said. its about the execution. and the execution wasnt very good. hence, bad writing.

everyone crying over caitlyn dictator this caitlyn fascist arc that … everyone failed to recognize the power of a butch lesbian against generational cycles of violence. caitlyn most girlfailure dictator ever. saw her ex for 3 seconds and immediately folded. girl me too tf

[hellfire--cult]

just wanted to compliment u bc u take the most eccentric ideas imo and make them so immersive and well written that i just cant stop reading. like the alpha beta thing??? never did i read stories like that in my middle school wattpad days—which is when i remember them being popular. but suddenly im giving ur story a shot AND I CANT STOP READING. dont understand it fully but im here for the vibes!

or the stripper au first i was like:

pause… they’re WHAT???

but u write so beautifully it just makes sense like the stuff u integrate into the stories makes it mesh so well together. youre so brilliant just wanted to say that!!

OMG

thank you whoever you are 🥰🥰🥰

Seriously, it makes me really happy to read something like that. When I was in highschool I did some video editing, like pro effect filled things and it always had some kind of story!

I've always been creative, that's literally the only quality I am very confident in! I don't know if I am confident in conveying it properly, but I try my best and I am glad you can understand the stories so far!

Regarding the Alpha Beta Omega fic, EVERYTHING WILL BE EXPLAINED, I swear, but it's the trope of Omegaverse done in my own non-traditional way, but everything will be explained i swear!

Thank you so much again for your nice comment ❤❤