#cant even read fics otherwise i get spoilers

[neptunezo]

I told myself I wouldn’t do it. I PROMISED myself I would never watch it. I’ve watched a lot of bad things before, but this? this takes the cake.

I have found myself, horribly and regretfully enraptured with this show. I am only on the second season and have quite literally not left the couch in 9 hours. I am not okay. This is not okay. This is not healthy. Screw you Supernatural!!

[counting-eyerolls]

this is me being angry about people's reactions to creative decisions in media so rambling under the cut.

jjk 236 spoilers for those who did not see the tags.

i think it's genuinely concerning how some people consume media. it's your comfort piece of art and something that you adore with all your being and you write about it and post about it and talk about it but the second your favourite dies (said favourite happening to be one of the "hot" characters) boom it's shit and you shouldn't have read it and you come up with insults and slurs towards the creator.

in the past 1.5h i've been awake today i have seem so much hate towards an artist all because of a newly posted chapter and the way it progresses/ends.

yes this is about jjk and chapter 236. (spoilers ahead, last warning)

i feel like the point of any creative piece (writing, visual art, music etc) is to send a message and have the readers/watchers etc feel something because of your work. it's to send an emotion.

remember how we all felt when geto was dying? i sure do. he was and still is my favourite, dead and all. broke my heart -- it all did, not just his death but everything leading up to it (in terms of satosugu moments and symbolism for example). i didn't see this much hate though. maybe this is because by the time he died, he had already become one of the negative characters and people already had new favourites to focus on, heck if i know.

still.

i mean obviously, nobody likes the fact that your favourite character gets killed but it is about the vision of the author/artist etc. geto dying gave us so much symbolism and so many parallels and character development (for gojo, for example) etc without which he probably wouldn't have turned into the character everyone is obsessed with. it was part of a complex backstory and character development, it showed us how the specific character was dealing with problems which aren't that easy to deal with, it showed how the influence of those around him (or lack thereof) affected him and why he ended up choosing the path that he chose etc. yes, it was sad that he died, but it was part of a bigger story. still i think it's unbelievable to insult and criticize someone so much because of a choice they made with the character they created. i get that it sucks that your fav dies or suffers but try to appreciate the fact that no artist owes anyone anything and they are still creating and publishing and putting their art out for you to consume and sharing their creativity with you. would you have preferred that you never had said art piece at all?

imagine you come up with a story that's so awesome to you and you're proud of it but halfway through you start getting hate for it because you kill someone in the middle of it. when it was your story to begin with ?? so you are allowed to do whatever you like ?? literally no rules. but the people criticizing you don't know what you plan to do with this in the long run so they just, well, hate. this is what i cant accept, no matter the fandom or the characters, whether they're fictional or based on real people or stage personas etc. not agreeing with a creative decision (in fiction or otherwise) is perfectly acceptable. sending hate to the creator because you do not like it? unacceptable.

stop consuming it then. it's just as easy to stop as it is to pick up.

and it disgusts me that people who should know better are doing this. people who are fic writers themselves. maybe not directly sending hate to the creator but commenting and posting about it (using dare i say quite shitty wording as well). this is not only telling everyone that you share this opinion but encouraging others who feel the same to follow your example, even if you are not explicitly doing it. you are encouraging, for example, followers that are younger and do not know better (not because "when you're young you don't know anything", but because it is true that at a younger age you are not able to fully understand certain principles and thought processes and what is right or not) to do the same and who knows, said influenced people (whether old or young, doesn't matter) can then take the hate further to the creator. you are inactively telling people who do not know better that it is okay to do this. why? because to you it is "so serious ong" or because "you are disgusted" by this creative decision and so on. as a fic writer on tumblr you sometimes become somebody that readers and those who do not have the confidence to share their work look up to. and you normalize this behaviour because you are upset that the sexy white haired guy died when you liked to write fics about him. you normalize this behaviour and find it acceptable to do this (because if you didn't find it acceptable, would you be doing it in the first place?) just because you refuse to take a deep breath and look at things from another perspective.

in my opinion it also shows that you are unable to take a step back and see the bigger picture or appreciate said creative decision in relation to the whole creative work. how do you know that your favourite dying will not change the story in the best way possible? you do not know, because the story is still ongoing.

so you are basically consuming the media but not actually appreciating any of the work and thought that go into it. you don't see it as something that is trying to send a message. you don't see the work that gets put into it. more importantly, you don't think that maybe the point of the author/creator is to do more than just write hot characters. so you are not appreciating the thought process behind it but when you don't like something? you are way too quick to criticize and insult. i am not saying you should like or agree or enjoy everything that happens. but you also cannot choose to insult and slur your way out of something you don't particularly like, especially when it doesn't seem like you give praise and what is deserved when you do actually agree and like the creative decisions that have been taken. so if you cannot do the opposite (aka being positive about moments in the media you consume) why do you feel the need to be so vocal and negative about things you do not agree with. has it occured to you that maybe you don't understand the full creative thought process?

disagree with creative decisions, come up with actual thoughts on why you think it wasn't right to do so or why it shouldn't have been done in the first place, come up with arguments and reasons why you think it doesn't make sense or why it isn't realistic. analyze the characters and the actions that the creator is making them do. maybe it's out of character or maybe it's a plot hole. who knows. come up with an opinion and justify why it is so "disgusting" for you to experience said part of the work. you will never achieve anything with insults and slander just because you are unhappy.

i don't feel the need for people to validate what i am saying or agree with me. but if you do not agree with me at least try telling me why. this is the essence of what i am saying: you can have a different opinion and not agree with someone but still be respectful of their decision to think or act that way. in art or in the real world.

you will also never know why the person thinks a certain way if you don't at least try to understand or ask them about it.

anyway yea.

[misc-obeyme]

This is just a rant;

I think I realised that I didnt truly like any other characters in om but when thirteen was introduced i was in LOVE..like i like them all individuals and they have their own quirks, and its probably my own depression, but now its meh..and looking back, i think i need to be in mt feels like with Lucifer from othet media they intrest me and i dont know why i cant get that mindset in to OM, and im currently playing Twisted Wonderland and im in love, and when going back i feel the same...also same with Asmodeus a character and demon who i have been intrested in since i was a young teen...its the feels... i dont know if that makes sense.. i feel guilty for actually enjoying nightbringer than the OG, cuz i had so many memories with friends and this whole fandom,

but as the months and years went by with playing the game i just cant be bothered, but i love how the characters are presneted im fanart and fics.. i havent opened om in ages, amd im currently playing NB

Yeah thats it, rant over

Going to read a book and then read some fanfics

You are welcome to rant here whenever you like, anon! Sometimes you just gotta let it out.

I also love Thirteen, she is just so great. It's like the ultimate goth gf you know what I mean? Her hair, her eyes, her outfit, the way she giggles and gets all those sweet hearts whenever she's gushing about MC to someone... I just want to hug and kiss her.

But listen, I totally understand losing interest in a media that you've been part of for a while. It happens! Sometimes, you just don't get the same feelings from it that you used to get. I definitely get what you mean about needing to have the feels - it's not worth it, otherwise.

I don't know much about Twisted Wonderland, though I have seen people talking about it on here. I downloaded it for like a day but then I realized that there was no actual romance aspect to it. Not that this is bad or anything, but I just don't have a ton of time for games, so I have to be picky about what I play. And I like being able to romance characters lol. Making them blush is my favorite thing. But if it's working for you, then that's all that matters.

Also you should not feel guilty for enjoying Nightbringer more than the OG. I don't think you're alone in that, actually. I personally enjoy them about the same, but I also consider NB to essentially be a sequel of the OG, so they're basically the same game? Just some different mechanics.

I also think there's something to be said for remaining in a fandom after you're no longer interested in the media that fandom is based around. I think it's perfectly fine to enjoy fanart and fanfiction of Obey Me even if you haven't played the game in years. The only thing you might come across is spoilers if you ever considered picking it up again or possibly references to things you haven't experienced story wise. But other than that, I say continue to enjoy it!

[practicecourts]

🔁 A fic you’ve re-read several times!

Ah such a good one…

So these are fics I’ve reread more than once, its not an exhaustive list by any means.

The Last Enemy by @chdarling 1 and 2 (maybe I’ve reread 2 more not because i like it more perse but because its still being updated so i need to refresh my memory) Although there’s a thing about chapter 2 where Lily talks with her dad and she goes have fun with some of her muggle work friends. Although if i had to pick a favourite chapter there are so many in that one (a Slughorn Xmas party, some menial labour, the shrimp fest, i won’t go on bc for some reason my app wont allow for a spoiler break…

Then there’s two shorter ones by you actually “never really” is maybe too new to have been reread… but it has. And I’ve enjoyed Purely coincidental a lot… It helps that the art by @constancezin that it inspired (or the other way around) is very nice to look at again and again ;-) > i hope these links actually work. If not I’m so sorry. Go look for it yourself!!

Another reread is by the masterful @scriibble-fics , i must admit to reread a lot of her stories, or just parts of them, chapters I love to relive the suberp tension that she does so well. My last rereads of Notes and Magic were right on time for the new story drop!! Even if they are so very different.

I;ve reread @wearingaberetinparis Royalty one shots and of course : it only takes a taste when you know it’s good, I must admit now that I’;m behind on reading her wonderful stories as they come faster than I have time to read (which is unbelievable!!!) here’s one that i def read more than once When love was king but there’s another one shot (bar hopping with the prince that’s so good!!)

Three strikes till your out by @theresthesnitch i reread the campsite chapter occasionally. Because that scene where they are dancing after s’mores…

@mppmaraudergirl has me rereading the wedding ring and just spoiling all men (fictional or otherwise) just because that james is amazing. I’d love to find a good reason (such as an update maybe - hahaha, i hope you know this is a joke!!) Of TRN… but I’ll admit I read that one more than once already (I love the way in all of these stories i get so wrapped up in them, they become real characters that i care about even if they have flaws or do stupid things, but they also don’t get boring (I’m sorry for saying this but sometimes only fluff and nice just is that…) when they do the exact best thing they are supposed to say or do in that moment! This is rambling but… my defense, if you havent read any of these i dont want to spoil anything.

I just know i missed things here (oh, yes i did @mabeltothknows i reread and leave a comment only to find that the last comment on such a chapter was actually also by me…. Hahaha. But the sentiment was very much the same) i love that war one shot so much (i;m sorry i should link it but i cant find it that fast… AND THE PUTRID CORPSE …

A one shot that i keep rereading that’s old, is somewhere hidden om tumblr here where lily has a one night stand and the next day goes to her new job … guess who. It’s chapter 4 or 5 of these on ffnet…

I think I could just go on. (Room service by @maraudersftw Good old fashioned love letters by @theesteemedladydebourgh just popped into my brain… ) And the reason i feel that way is that this is by no means a complete list. SO instead of agonising to find the one fic or 20 that i now forgot but I’ve enjoyed so much that i occasionally go back to reread because they brought me joy I’m going to finish this post ;-)

[noelle-holi-gay]

i just. finished reading the last chapter of dream come true and like. god. theres a lot to unpack.

first off i was always a krerdly believer for the series. ever since we saw berdly being a fucking disaster and ask everyone but kris out i was cheering for him to ask out kris. and oh boy you fucking did it. you actually fucking did it im so happy and grinning like an idiot even though berdly asking kris out actually made me die of secondhand embarrassment. the little cringefail gamers going together. what a dream. also kris in a dress supremacy lets fucking go im bad at visualizing stuff in my head but they mustve looked so gender and i am envious.

also a mini fangame thing for the actual epilogue????? oh my god im actually gonna explode. like actually so so so so excited for it.

and finally. i just. want to express my disbelief at how its finally ending. i remember meticulously going through the deltarune tag because i just got sucked back in and i wasn't there for the initial chapter one release of deltarune so i wanted all the content i could get my hands on. and of course there were already some chapter 2 stuff in there, and i saw dare to dream, and thought "oh, that's a nice suselle fic, i'll go check it out" and i fell in love with it. just good pining and fluff, with a little bit of worry about carol in the last chapter but like. ok. and you uploaded a sequel and i was ecstatic and you kept writing. and writing. and writing until eventually we're waist deep into your own headcanon lore with whole new characters and dark worlds and it was just. amazing. actually one of my favorite fic series i've ever read, deltarune or otherwise. every chapter you put out somehow outdid the last and its been such a joy eagerly awaiting the next update and godddddd i cant believe it's finally over.

thank you so much for it all. i genuinely cannot express enough how much dare to dream means to me. the hit of serotonin every time i get the little notification in my emails. me actually having to stop in the middle of reading chapters and walking all over the room. rolling and squealing and flailing in my bed at fuck o clock in the morning. trying to guess what happens in the new chapter and searching through my playlists for mood appropriate music to read to and then changing it when the epic battle turns into a reunion and then lore exposition. its been such a wonderful ride and im looking forward to the epilogue and your future works as well because whatever you decide to put out next, im sure it's gonna be a great one.

im gonna CRY!!! im gonna CRY!!!

Thank you so much for the kind words, and thank you so much for sticking with the fic this long. God, I was already pretty emotional just posting that chapter, and then all of you fuckers have been so goddamn NICE! I'm scheduling this for tomorrow because of the spoilers, but as of time of writing, I haven't even read through all the comments yet, and i just KNOW its gonna fucking destroy me

Anyway. Yeah the Krerdly thing was a looooong game and im so glad I got to pay it off like this here lmaooo

[catboy-steve]

I posted 10,738 times in 2022

That's 4,245 more posts than 2021!

64 posts created (1%)

10,674 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@bakedbananners

@pax-thuban

@gaygaara

@demipunk

@pocketramblr

I tagged 682 of my posts in 2022

#toh spoilers - 62 posts

#naruto - 10 posts

#so true - 9 posts

#lmao - 7 posts

#incredible - 7 posts

#nicos art - 6 posts

#jason todd - 5 posts

#prev - 5 posts

#harley quinn - 5 posts

#jonathan sims - 5 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#and even bill seacaster while i would never call him responsible (unless it comes to like teaching them battling skills) he is so loving !!!

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

percy is hazel and nicos big brother and u can not tell me otherwise

27 notes - Posted September 24, 2022

#4

just thinking thoughts abt how harley literally watched ivy die in season 1,,, wish we had gotten to see her deal with that post s1, just what if  harley started being more protective of ivy and starting taking hits for ivy because she cant go through losing ivy again 

47 notes - Posted July 3, 2022

#3

i love all might and think he’s a cool dude, but sometimes i think about how he told a random 14 year old a state secret before crushing his dreams, and then later gave that same kid a power that he couldn’t tell anyone the details about inadvertently cutting him off from his support systems (deku wasn’t allowed to tell his mom or his teachers or his friends) that weren't all might or someone all might knew and i understand all for one, just a little bit 

58 notes - Posted April 4, 2022

#2

i have been thinking and i have formulated a list of ppl who should be allowed to kill the joker/ppl i want to see kill the joker

-harley (duh)

-jason (duh)

-dick

-alfred

-tim (specifically at age like 12, i’ve read multiple fics where he has killed the joker or been directly involved in the jokers death and its great)

-i think it would be funny if they let damian kill him, but specifically 10 year old damian

-barbara 

might add more later im not sure

89 notes - Posted November 14, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

made this for trans day of visibility, its probably the best thing i’ve ever made 

image id: a trans flag with a picture of garfield in the bottom right he is visible from the chest up with his right arm slightly out of frame he has sunglasses on he is holding up with his left hand and his ears are back, his expression is serious. there is a stock image of an explosion behind him that is bright orange. in the top right there is another much smaller garfield popping out with a design around him that makes it look like he bust through paper. in the top middle there is orange text over bright green that reads: fun facts with garfield. a little bit below that text is more bright orange text over a bright green square that reads: being tans automatically makes you 100 times cooler and hotter. this is why so many trans people are so cool and hot. in the bottom left there is a picture of naruto pointing at the viewer, he is visible from the waist up and has a blue backpack on and his usual orange jumpsuit. his right eye is closed and he has a big open mouth that is smiling. there is a text bubble above him that reads : naruto uzumaki approves this message! believe it! end id. 

171 notes - Posted March 31, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[marcus--666]

@decaying-vamp said share with the class so ima share with the class >:D

okay so one thing my self-insert ocs have in common is having "Disney Princess Powers" aka just able to befriend basically any animal because thats something i wish i could do irl lol

this kinda gets long so ima put a read more here lol

I'm still planning out the details, but the oc, Ha'ku (my AFOP oc but for the film timelines, otherwise known as Y'ou in the game universe) is still a Sarentu, but not part of TAP, he was instead "rescued" by a pair of scientists who found him as a kid (like 3 or 4 years old) all by himself in the forest while they were doing some biology stuff. he was being "stalked" by viperwolves (spoiler alert, they were trying to protect him) and so they took him back to their base of operations. the scientists wanted to be the first to raise a Na'vi to be more human. it failed miserably, as Ha'ku clung to his Na'vi/Sarentu side fiercely, even when his "parents" became abusive and tried beating the Na'vi out of him (and also refusing to acknowledge the fact that he is also a boy not a girl).

the other science teams and the Avatar program knew about them attempting to raise Ha'ku (not about the abuse though cuz he was heavily isolated), and Grace tried desperately to get him away from the racist couple, even offering to have Ha'ku be part of her school, but was refused. Parker let them do what they wanted, since he really couldnt give a shit about a Na'vi child, so long as in the end he can use them

from my googling and game knowledge, the RDA wasn't fully aware of TAP, and im pretty sure Grace also had no idea of its existence. Im not too sure if i want Grace and the others to know Ha'ku is Sarentu, or even who the Sarentu are, though I would assume she would know the Sarentu? At least maybe from the Omaticaya mentioning the lost clan? Anyway, he has the mark of the Sarentu though he has no idea what it entails

eventually the Avatar program get the green light to gain custody of Ha'ku a little after the massacre that happened at Grace's school since he's basically the only Na'vi they can interact with, the "parents" dont like that and try to slit Ha'ku's throat since theyre all "if we cant have him, no one can" and are fully delusional and believe he's their human daughter at this point. they fail, but leave a gnarly scar on Ha'ku's neck. Ha'ku is like,,, 17 when this happens? its hard to tell the timeline for me, but like apparently Neytiri is 18 when the first film takes place?? by the time the first film begins, Ha'ku is 19

depending on whether or not the RDA/Grace actually know about the Sarentu and the mark, Ha'ku is gonna be either ignorant to it or know the bare minimum about his heritage going into it

ok most of the backstory stuff done, lets get into the actual fic ideas i have lmao

thanks to the abuse from his tormentors, Ha'ku has severe social anxiety so he keeps to himself in an area near where the Avatars sleep, the only person he remotely trusts is Grace, who noticed his affinity with animals when she first took him out into Pandora, and also the unbridled joy on his face when he got to be free

film stuff happens off screen, Jake meets Ha'ku the day they go into the forest, he's confused why they're bringing this quiet af Na'vi ("he's not even an Avatar, Grace??") with them, but once they land, Ha'ku opens up a bit and gestures to Jake to follow him when Grace and Norm are doing their science stuff, the scene with the Helicoradian happens, but instead of the hammerhead titanothere charging at them, Ha'ku calms it and gently stokes the creature, being all like "see? he's a good boy :D" to Jake, of course thats when the thanator shows up to fuck shit up, but wow Ha'ku also calms it down before Jake can get trigger happy, even resting his forehead against the creature's own

all is well right? nah the other marine shows up and begins shooting at the thanator, which pisses it off (wow what a shocker), and it grabs Ha'ku's arm and runs off, to everyone's shock. Ha'ku is trying to get it to let go, but it wont, in fact it breaks the skin of his arm thanks to the angle it's dragging him at. soon enough, it lets him go across the river near the waterfall and runs back towards the others. Ha'ku has no idea what to do, but he spots an atokirina floating nearby, like it wanted him to follow it. using his jacket to cover his kinda torn up arm, he slowly makes his way through the forest after the atokirina, softly humming the Sarentu song to himself to keep him calm. eventually, he's led to a viperwolf giving birth, though it's in distress. Ha'ku understands that she's scared since this is her first litter and doesn't want to be alone, so he stays with her until all her pups are born, which takes all day and evening.

this is where Tsu'tey finds him

idk if i should like put the entire outline here or not but yeah heres some of it lol its very self indulgent but i have no shame

I have such a huge self-indulgent fic idea with my Na'vi oc and Tsu'Tey >:)

[i-will-physically-fight-you]

Are you going to finish the Tiny Virgil AU? Cause the last chapter ended on a cliffhanger. If you don't feel like finishing the whole thing, you could maybe give us bullet points of what was supposed to happen?

Ahaha whoops, I kinda forgot that fic. at the rate I'm going, it'll take like ten years for that or any of my other fics to get finished. Tbh, I actually have a whole outline for that one? Acantha (@theeternalspace) and I brainstormed the rest ages ago and then I took our thoughts and bullet-outlined it out.

The thing is? Like, emotionally I want to hold onto my thoughts and finish it, but if I am to be completely honest, realistically it probably won't happen. Because I wanna prioritize Gibbous over it and all.

so tldr: I'd like to write more installments, but in the case I never finish it and/or you don't care about spoilers, check the read more for what happens.

warnings: hurt/comfort, crying, morally grey sides (all sides are present so beware idk its been awhile im not up to date with how the fandom handles this sorta thing)

Chapter 5

Anx cant believe he forgot about Thomas!

He was so caught up in Creativity wanting to play with him, he's forgotten about his whole purpose

He goes to the real world, worried about all the things that could've befallen his host without his guidance

Anx is confused to be faced with adult Morality and another...side?

"Thomas?"

Thomas is big, Anx is not

This can't be real, can it? How can he protect Thomas like this?

Roman shows up, but the damage is dealt (Ro and Pat converse a bit)

Virge starts panicking and panics even more when he sees Thomas affected by it

Ro & Pat try to comfort Virge but no use

It's Thomas who gets to him. Who is...helping? Why?

"Wh-why are you so nice? I'm bad, I hurt you--I do bad things."

Thomas looks sad at that. He tries to explaining that he doesnt think Virge is bad, he can be good

Virge doesnt really understand but at the same time...Thomas loves him??

Thomas offers him a hug and he accepts it. Still so confused but at least his host loves him.

Chapter 6

Virgil ends up tuckered up in Thomas' arms

"Crying is exhausting, don't like it" He complains to Roman.

"I know. You've been very brave, little prince."

It's not that late but Thomas seems nervous. "I should go to bed." (Basically feels like if he doesnt adhere to his childhood bedtime, he'll get in trouble aka lil Virgil's influence)

Patton asks if he'd like for him to accompany him and Thomas nods

Roman and Virgil end up back in the mindscape with Patton promising to follow soon after

Roman tucks him into bed

Patton comes back, looking tired, and both Roman and Patton agree to talk with Logan in the morning about things

in the morning with Virgil still asleep, Lo, Pat and Ro talk briefly

Logan shares some theories (Age regression maybe?)

Patton tells them what's up with Thomas

Roman decides to bother the Dark Sides. "If this happened before in the past, they would know, wouldn't they? And if they're behind it this time then I can get them to stop it"

They decide to have Patton look out for Thomas again and for Logan to watch over Virgil while Roman ventures out to the Dark Sides

Chapter 7

Logan mulls over what is happening

Grateful that Thomas is going to bed early at least

He is not worried, he is Logic

Tries focusing hard on his book

Virgil wakes up, disappointed to see Logan and not Roman

Roman ventures through the dark mindscape

infodump detail on how it differs vs. the regular mindscape, quiet, silence nobody is around

"HELLO" Roman screams as his brother pops up

"What do I owe brother dear for this visit?"

Virgil is worried about Roman, but Logan placates him a bit

The two end up doing a puzzle

During which Virgil randomly hugs Logan

When Logan asks why, Virgil explains "You're scared. Hugs make me feel less scared"

Logan thanks him for the sentiment but insists he is not scared

"You're scared, I can feel it. It's okay, I get scared lots of times so you don't have to." Virgil says

And then Logan's fear dissipates

He stares at Virgil, shocked, because did tiny virge take his fear away??

And if so, if tiny virge knows how to do this, has adult Virgil been doing it without them knowing??

Chapter 8

"I know you did it" Roman growls. It makes sense really. Remus did random things for sh*t and giggles

Remus blinked "Oh! You found out about ____, didn't you?"

"What no!" Roman says, disgusted. "I'm talking about Virgil."

"Wait, you think I did it with Virgil? Mr. Emo?"

"NO!" Roman snaps. "Stop playing dumb!"

The two have a scuffle, ending up with Remus having a sword at Ro's throat (who is stuck in green goop)

"I really don't know what you mean." Remus says, "What is it exactly do you think I did again?"

Logic must hate him, Anx thinks, otherwise why would he be looking strangely at him?

but its okay, even if it really really really hurts, Anx has done it before and would do it again to keep from any of them feeling pain

He asks if Anx took his fear away and he nods

surely this must be a happy thing but Logic seems even more upset

the fear grappling tiny virge is foreign. It's so different than fears he's taken before. He finds himself drowning in it. he doesnt quite understand most of it. But there's fears about himself, Logic being scared for him, not of him. (basically oh boy adult fears are much harder to process for a child Anxiety)

Logic grips his hand and asks for his fears back

"I can't" Tiny Virge says, shaking like a leaf

Logan asks it again. Virge shakes his head "I can't, I--I don't know how!"

He really doesnt know how. Usually he just holds it all in until it explodes.

Logic echoes some of what the fear is telling him, that Logic cares for him. And weirdly, it means a lot for him to hear that Logic actually cares.

But noooo he must only care because of Thomas, right?

Anyways this is resolved somehow idk lmao and then Logan is called to help with Thomas

Virgil promises Lo he'll be okay, not wanting to stop him from being able to help their host

Logan promises he'll back momentarily

Virgil squeezes Zola and tries his best to stay calm

Previously on Rem and Ro

Roman spills the beans on whats up

Deadbeat silence

Remus then babbles about how he has no clue what Roman is talking about, but is super intrigued and wants to check this out for himself

He sinks out as Roman grabs onto his ankle, but isn't enough to stop him from sinking out.

Chapter 9

"Hiya!"

Little Anx squeaks, shadows gathering at his feet, ready to strike at....

A Green-Dressed Creativity? He dresses fancily like him.

"Princey?"

Green laughs. "No, I'm The Duke! Princey's my brother!"

And Lil Virge is kinda confused but rolls with it because Creativity pretending to be someone else/splitting himself into two is a very Creativity thing to do and isn't too worried about it.

Roman shows up, fuming

However, because of Virgil, he has to play nice

They end up having a pretend tea party

Roman finds himself shocked that Remus is decent with kids? Or at least a Kid Anxiety??

He still says outrageous things but Virge giggles at them (Basically kids really have no baseline for moral right-or-wrong, they find talk of murder funny)

Roman feels a bit guilty/regretful realizing he never played much with Remus growing up

Eventually, Logan pops up slightly frazzled

He's relieved to see the twins there looking after Virgil

Explains the situation w/ Thomas to Roman while Remus and Virgil play

Patton pops up, looking slightly weary, leading Roman and Logan to insist he take a day off from watching Thomas

Upon seeing Logan & Patton, Virgil runs up to hug Logan, but shies away from Patton

Patton tries to hide his disappointment about this

Remus tries to leave upon seeing Lo and Pat are here

but Virge clings to him, insisting he stays

The Others agree, and Remus perks up a bit.

Somewhere, there's a discussion about Virge again, late at night?

Logan reveals Virgil taking fears from him

At some point it's decided to leave Janus out of it as it's unknown how little Virge would react to him and the fact that Janus most likely knows what's up and has chosen to stay out of it

It's decided that Remus and Roman will traverse the Imagination to see if there's a solution there

Logan will be with Thomas

Meanwhile Patton will look after Virgil

Chapter 10

Patton's POV

Little Virge is upset about both Remus and Roman leaving

they try to placate him but it does little. (Telling him how they'll stay safe and they don't want him going because they want to keep him safe)

Patton's heart breaks but he has to holds back Virge.

Eventually the two have heart-to-heart

Apparently the two had a classic childhood spat, that means a lot to Virge even tho poor Pat doesnt remember the spat at all.

Pat tells them they're the best of friends now, even shows him evidence

Virge feels a little better

Sees a snake stuffy in Pat's room, asks about Dee

Patton deflects

The two end up making cookies together

The Imagination is a bust, although the twins return squabbling in a good mood

And Remus has a "present" for Virgil, who delights in it.

They chat, when suddenly Virgil screams

Chapter 11

Virgil's POV

He's been trying his best to stay calm, to hold back the anxiety gained from Logan and also the other fears swelling inside of him

But it's too much, and push comes to shove. A burning sensation occurs

And it explodes

He has a panic attack and realizes it extends into the real world

Overwhelmed and upset, he runs off.

He runs off to his hideaway and sits there

Getting bombarded with fears

He's there for what feels like hours when--

"Oh my dear Anxiety" A crooning, unfamiliar yet familiar voice says

Virgil looks, surprised, to see Deceit!! There's a lot more scales and he's wearing a funny outfit but it's him

He is happy to see him albeit sobbing into his capelet because of what happened.

Dee holds onto him going, “Shhhh everything’s alright. Shhh it’s not your fault. It’s my fault, I’m sorry—“ and Virgil interrupts shrieking it can’t be his fault, because in his mind Dee would never do anything bad and it hurts Dee to know that young Virge has so much faith in him.

"You'll hate me" But Little Virge refuses to accept that. "You're lying, you don't mean that"

"Okay, you caught me. "We stay best friends forever" OR something along those lines

Dee convinces him to bring back to the others, that they don't hate him

When they return, the others "freaking out" is a mild understatement.

Dee slowly produces tiny Virge out of his capelet.

Hisses at them to keep their distance because crowding Virge will only freak him out

Apologies and misunderstandings are made clear

Thomas summons all of them and they all have a sleepover

Virgil falls asleep snuggled between Remus and Dee

Chapter 12

Maybe Roman's POV?

Along with Thomas, they have a discussion

Dee waits a bit, before revealing that he's behind the reason for Virge's current state.

As his role Deceit, he has access to both truth and lies. One lie is that Virgil believes his kid self died and is no longer a part of him--attempting to actively repress those memories

He then points out the childish aspects of each side's function. (Maybe Logan input something about growing up and stuff)

P: "But why would Virgil think this?" J: "oh gee, I wonder why. It isn't like he was made to feel like an outcast from a very young age or anything"

Instant Guilt for all

Anyways Dee explains some mishap occurred, thus reverting Virgil back to this state

You get the sense Janus isn't telling the whole truth.

Janus says he has a way to fix things, and that's when there's a noise

"Anx?"

Virge is there, standing incredibly still, slightly heavy breathing

"Anx, it's okay, we're not upset"

Little Virge heard everything and is upset but he understands

He knows Thomas needs big him, and the others reassure him that they'll be there for him, each having a small moment with him

Then he starts glowing brightly, causing them all to be alarmed, Janus included

Chapter 13

Virgil is back and boiiiiiii is he freaked the heck out

The Others including Thomas are all there, F*CK how can he ever recover after they saw him like that?

He's both embarrassed and mortified

Not to mention it hurts to have two sets of childhood memories rattling inside his head. One that was lonely and painful, and the other that was happy but fake

He snaps at Janus and ends up fleeing in his room

He doesn't duck out

He cant do that

He just doesnt....go out. He doesn't want to hear the jokes start. He doesnt want the babying or the pitying to start.

He does his job and that is that.

(inwardly he knew this would happen, but not like this)

They try summoning him (Thomas included) but he wont come out. His door is locked.

Patton slips a note under the door but Virge refuses to look at it.

Blares MCR

Somehow Zola appears in his room, and he'd like to tear it apart or something, but he can't help but squeeze the stuffed bat tight and cry for the childhood that never was.

A week passes, and there's a very sad prince at his door

Virgil ends up letting him in because look, he's not a monster

it's very...awkward at first

but they eventually have a heart-to-heart and some snarky banter

and Virgil is very confused when Princey feels the need to apologize to him

They also discuss Janus and Virgil very reluctantly agrees to talk to him

Virgil ends up talking with Janus over tea

Janus doesn't really look at him, staring at his teacup as he explains himself

and dammit, Janus has hurt him (but then again so has Virgil hurt Janus)

But a part of him really misses him. A part of him that has always missed him.

Janus explains he just wanted to know where he went wrong in their friendship, that he went the round-about way because knew Virgil wouldn't talk to him but messed with things he shouldnt and accidentally caused Virgil to revert to the age before their friendship started fraying by accident.

He admits that he almost wanted to leave Virgil that age, to take advantage of it as a way to start again, but ultimately couldnt let himself take advantage of virgil in that way

He also apologizes, telling Virgil "Showing weakness isn't bad. I told you once that you had to stay strong and not let anyone see it, but I was wrong" and that he understands if Virgil doesnt accept his apology right away or if ever

And Virgil doesnt completely accept, not yet, but he's willing to try

It ends happily with them going down to dinner with the others. (possibly Virgil having moments with the others??)

the end

BONUS, Written Scene from Chapter 11 w/ Virge's and Janus's reunion because I was self-indulgent and wrote ahead

“Oh my dear Anxiety,” A silky voice croons, so achingly familiar.

He sniffles, raising his head to meet eyes with the much older face of his best friend; Deceit. It has to be, there is no other side whose left side of face is reptilian in nature. He’s crouching beside Virgil, only one set of arms present at the moment. He’s wearing a funny outfit, but then Deceit has always dressed funny, just like Creativity. Neither of them have ever been worried about standing out.

“Dee!” Anxiety cries out, all but flinging himself onto the older side. The velocity of it flattens the two onto the ground, with Deceit letting a small grunt from the impact. He’d be more worried about possibly hurting Deceit if he wasn’t too busy bawling his eyes out into the strange cape Deceit is wearing.

Deceit strokes his hair, so soft and gentle. Then two sets of arms hoist Anxiety upwards, settling him onto Deceit’s lap. Deceit hugs Anxiety, cocooning him in a warm embrace. For a moment, everything feels normal again. As if they’re all kids still and Anxiety had sought Deceit for comfort after a bad nightmare.

Then Deceit speaks, saying words meant to be comforting. They are comforting at first, until Deceit says things that don’t make sense. And Anxiety knows Deceit is a liar, that he says things that aren’t true. But he knows when Deceit isn’t lying. They’re best friends after all.

“Shhh, it’ll be alright. Shhh, it’s okay. You didn’t do anything wrong, it’s not your fault. It’s mine. I hurt you and I’m--”

“No!”

“No?” Deceit repeats.

“No, it--it--you didn’t do anything bad, you wouldn’t!” Anxiety says, nearly shrieking, “You’d never, ever, hurt me. We’re best friends and best friends don’t do that.”

A strange, choking noise erupts from Deceit. Anxiety looks to see Deceit’s human eye glistening. His best friend’s lips quiver, like Anxiety gets when he gets too scared to speak. Except Deceit is never scared. He always knows what to say in a situation, confident in ways Anxiety could never be.

“Oh, I’ve forgotten what you were like at this age,” Deceit whispers, so low that Anxiety thinks he wasn’t meant to hear it. Then Deceit shakes his head, a weird laugh escaping him. “You’re going to hate me, Anx. Or rather, you’re going to hate me more after this is all over.”

“You’re lying,” Anxiety accuses, his fingers tightening around the fabric of Deceit’s cloak, “You don’t mean that. I love you, Dee, you’re my best friend and--and...Big Me is still best friends with you, right?!”

Deceit inhales sharply, as if there’s something stuck in his throat. Before Anxiety can even grow concerned for his well being, he breaths out a long dramatic sigh.

He rolls his eyes, smirking, “Alright, you caught me.”

“I did?”

“Yes. I was only lying to scare you out of crying,” Deceit assures him, “I didn’t mean to scare you into thinking we weren’t best friends still. Of course we are.”

“G-good,” Anxiety huffs, “don’t scare me like that, Dee, I don’t like it!”

“I won’t do it again, I promise,” Deceit says, his smirk fading a bit as he takes on a somber expression, “it still isn’t your fault for what happened, Virg--Anxiety. Neither I or any of the others think it is. They certainly despise you for it.”

“Despise?” Anxiety’s heart jumps a bit, “Oh! You mean...you’re saying...they don’t despise me?”

“I don’t know,” Deceit raises an eyebrow, “Why don’t you try reaching out? See what their fears tell you.”

Anxiety closes his eyes, sticking his tongue out in concentration. If he thinks super hard, he can envision everyone's fears like spider webs, branching all over the mindscape, interconnected in some ways and in others, completely disconnected in each side's little corner.

And he is the itsy bitsy spider, that scuttles about and maintains the webs to some degree. Because a little bit of fear is good, it helps keep Thomas alive. So he traces the webs and searching for what Dee suggested. There is one thread present, in every nook and cranny of the web, he searches, even in the splinter-offs. One fear that repeats and loops through the whole network that he has never seen before.

"Oh." Anxiety breathes, eyes widening. They're not afraid of him. They're afraid for him, worried about his safety and wellbeing. Anxiety doesn't know what to think of that.

[an-army-of-nightmares]

I have read your peppermint rot-- I just haven't had the energy to reblog them but I really like it so far!

For asks: I don't know if you get that out of the fic, but how does Sir Lanyon feel about the fact that he accidentally killed his "son", more than the fact that he killed someone at all? How does Henry feel about it-- unless we are getting that revealed later so you can't say? Jfjfjf

Criticism: so far I think you have done really good! All I have noticed is that you tend to mix punctuation a bit (I have no energy to go read through all chapters so I'm going by memory rn) like you tend to do ',,' a lot instead of '.' or '...' if that makes sense? Sometimes it does feel like feeling descriptions are a little lacking but that can very well be a style choice and I just like to have things obvious for me fjfjf

Otherwise I think you are doing really good! I might be nagging a bit and I certainly do not mean to do that, but if you'd ever feel like wanting a beta reader, my offer still stands, I promise I won't bite ;;

I had not considered writing Lanyon Sr seem upset about Henry's death! Tbh I had kinda been thinking that despite being his "favorite" the minute Jekyll was dead Sr had simply stopped caring about him. Though I maybe can make him a bit sad

I dont think how Henry feels about it will ever be directly mentioned, it feels like an unnecessary detail to me when I think about with the whole story. The fact Jekyll is haunting Lanyon Sr. In the first place and all the "gifts" Hastie is about to get, feels like it conveys, at the very least, that Jekyll is quite vengeful. How Jekyll feels is more of an "Actions speak louder than words" type of deal

",,," simply has a different vibe from "..." and I do not take criticism on this /lh

Yeah honestly better descriptions would even give me a stonger wordcount. But I simply do not care for writing details bbdkzbdks. Like I could expand Sr.'s running in chapter 3 to like a full paragraph of it's own. his quick breathing, his heart beating strongly in his chest, possibly even pushing servants out of the way, the lighting strikes illuminating the halls (that's what all those flashes in chapter 3 were btw, while Lanyon couldn't hear anything in that room, I was simply gonna make that clear in 4 rather than 3 bsksbks) this is all due to a combination of me not wanting to like I said earlier, but more so me not thinking about it. When I'm writing Hastie running from point a to point b, I think about him getting there rather than the journey itself. Also when I'm describing that the floors are tile or whatever it always feels forced to me. I just, consider many things to be unnecessary details bdksnxks.

Though! I have noticed that I am a bit better about adding details if I'm imaging the story like a comic outline, as if I'm gonna draw the scene "oh what does Lanyon Sr.'s room look like? I bet itd have a rug and long curtains covering long windows, everything is definitely well made and crafted. Oo I better write that down." The lack of descriptions can be like, 1/3 style choice though, I like having the reader stuck in Hastie's pov, they can't know things he doesn't, cant pay attention to details that Hastie doesn't pay attention to. And they cant know what all of London or others feel about the situation, not even knowing how Jekyll feels, unless Lanyon Sr. hears or mentions anything about it.

Thatd be spoilers though, nothing new is gonna happen until the end to be fair, but spoilers nonetheless. Also I wiil bite *chomps you*

For a real answer, I dont doubt youd be nice about it, and I dont doubt having you as a beta reader would help me alot. But I just, don't know? Everytime you ask the question my mind just instantly becomes "?????" Idk why but I just, don't know

[gundhams-pandemonium]

For the talent swap thing...may I request Kokichi, Maki aaaaanndddd Chiaki?

If it's too much you don't have to do all of them!

Stay safe and hydrated<333

Have a good day/night! <333

I am drinking soda so I may be doing the opposite of staying hydrated

But! I appreciate the sentiment [and I promise to drink some water] 💕 Thank you so so much! Now, here these three are:

[IMPLIED V3 CHARACTER BACKSTORY SPOILERS]

[IMPLIED EATING DISORDER (Maki) ]

Kokichi: Shsl Fanfic Creator

[So! I actually have short fic with him in it! It should be on this blog under "kaz writes" or, if you cant find it "kokichi ouma". If you are intrested and cant find it (or if you perfer to read on ao3) just dm me and I'll send it to you]

*He has SO much merch from so many differnt fandoms. He is also willing to trade and sell [<selling only happens if he has doubles of things].

*Collects Pokemon Cards; has those card holders that are supposed to be for Baseball cards FILLED with them. Also has all those limited time gold cards~

*If he finds out someone irl he knows writes fic he's immediately asking for the username and is now in your face. Oh my gosh do you have 20,000 WIPs too?

*He prints some of his favs (whether they are his own or other people's) out. He has multiple copies of each fic he's working on too

*Crack fic is amazing even if he doesn't write as many as you'd think he would. He appreciates a good crack fic

*Been in several Zine's, he's on multiple fanfiction hosting sites, etc.

*Don't worry he still talks about his "Secret Organization Planning on Taking Over the World". DICE is constituted of his 9 childhood friends who are just as nerdy as him. They still have the clown/checkered asthetic [And he still has his scarf~]

Maki: Shsl Fashonista

*She doesn't like to talk to any of her classmates; she's convinced they're all their to betray her.

*She has to look her best 100% of the time and be at the top of every fashion chart. Otherwise... she'll be replaced.

* Any Charity Funds she makes goes to Orphanages. There's one in particular that always gets a portion

* Kids still love her, they see her as the most amazing person. Some will run up to her and hang on her arms. She always tells her body guards it's alright, she tends to have photo shoots with them (So bold, so determined, so cute)

*She smiles more- But rarely a genuine one.

*She has a very particular diet, and even then she is afraid of gaining too much weight. She'll often skip meals if no one's watching. (Tho, when she got to Hope's Peak there was always this dork classmate with a goofy grin and was too loud and would always make sure to invite her to meals.)

Chiaki: Shsl Anthropologist

* "What do you study Chiaki?" " "...People. I think"

*She started studying Anthropology because she thought she'd get a better grasp at social interaction. Certainly, it'd be easier to make friends if she learned the basics?

*Hyperfixation go Brr and a few years later she's accepted into Hope's Peak and still has 0 clues on how to make friends.

*She so desperately tries, sometimes even pointing out something she learned and relating it to the conversation at hand.

*Her class accepts her, and sees her determination and kindness. Even if others see her as spacy or even lazy.

*She enjoys taking trips to see other places first hand! But any time she flies on a plane, no matter for how long nor how many times she's done it before, she gets jet lag and sleeps for the entire first day at her new destination. (Her narcolepsy doesn't help with this)

*She wants to take her new friends on all sorts of trips, and starts to plan some out. Unfortunately she has some many ideas on where to go she can't decide. Fortunately, she gets her friends to take a poll.

[superpixie42]

41. Name a fic that has a perfect ending. (Have to make you work for this one 😂😂😂)

OHKAY @smmahamazing​ get a snack and settle in because I went through my 83 AO3 favs and my 58 FFN plus all my author subscriptions... but decided I would only look at completed stories and not include perfect chapter endings. (and then wait til I could pull out my laptop so I could place my comments Below the Cut to avoid spoilers). These all have perfect endings and all for different reasons. Most of them are oneshots and I think that makes sense since multific endings are more complicated and then epilogues complicated it because is THAT the ending now or is the ending the ending? Anyways. I ramble baby was up at 4:30 and hates me today. Y’all enjoy this hyper caffeinated answer that is gonna scare off anyone else from ever sending in an ask again. 

HERE BE POTENTIAL SPOILERS FOR The Way You See Me by Kingbaka, Given by @dangerouspompadour​, She’s Mine by shantie84, A Moment by @akitokihojo​, When She Comes Back from Karaumea, Missing by @ajoy3fanfics​, Lovely View by snoring,  White Dogs on Blue Cotton by @artistefish, Tainted Love by SplendentGoddess

The Way You See Me is one of my top 5 favorite stories in general, and I could do a whole post on why. However, the ending is so perfectly in character of Inuyasha trying to say something sweet and accidently being a little bit of a dick about it. Plus, I like fics where demon!Inu isn’t just a mindless killing machine, and this fic hits that perfectly.

Given is lovely because I like “first time sex” fics that acknoweldge the massive shift in their relationship but ALSO acknowledge that dick doesn’t fix everything. This piece does that really well I think. 

She’s Mine...the ending makes me laugh SO HARD even after having read it a few times. Inuyasha’s absolute glee at getting to so openly brag about his and Kagome’s relationship just tickles me. 

A Moment is such a sweet story about how Inuyasha and Kagome support each other. We see a lot of Kagome supporting Inu, but by ending it with Inuyasha supporting Kagome in a it-could-be-canon-you-cant-prove-otherwise moment is just perfect. I also like that Inuyasha doesn’t try to discourage Kagome from crying and instead encourages her to lean into her emotions. I have serious issues with the whole “strong people don’t cry” mentality and so akitokihojo is fantastic in my book for hitting this so directly on the head.

When She Comes Back is subtle. Yes, I like the flashback to his fantasy of what it would be like to share a home with Kagome, but the fact that in all of his fantasies he NEVER imagined them with children and so her being pregnant makes him realize this is a real moment is just..heartbreakingly lovely. 

Missing was a pretty intense ending and I like the fact that ajoy makes it clear that even though Inuyasha is “better” there is still a lot of damage control and healing that needs to take place. I like that she has him and Kagome living together again at the end, too, since that is what Inuyasha was fighting for the whole story (in a way). 

Lovely View just fills my belly with happy feelings. It just feels so right that after a fairly big confession of affection and attraction that those two would bicker over semantics. SO cute. 

White Dogs on Blue Cotton is also one of my top 5 I think because of how many times I’ve read it. I love that there’s no mocking of Kagome’s admittedly silly coping mechanism and that it’s respected for what it was: a small way for Kagome to keep her hope alive but to not be a public spectacle about it. 

Tainted Love I felt I had to include because safe sex is best sex. I like that there was a conversation about contraceptives and that it was a reasonable conversation to boot. Plus who wouldn’t giggle at the phrase “man sword”? 

THERE IS ALSO ONE THAT WAS ORIGINALLY GOING TO BE THE ONLY THING MENTIONED IN THE POST BUT I CANT FIND IT AND ITS DRIVING ME CRAZY.

Modern AU oneshot where InuKag get into a huge fight that ends in car-based make up sex AND THEN IN THE END you find out the whole fight was orchestrated by Sess to get back at Inuyasha for a dick move he pulled while they were in grade school. I’ll update the post when I finally find the story. Because that was the best ending. 

[sargentr]

my fave drarry fics of all time, part one

so, after discovering i’ve officially been reading drarry fanfic for 4 years now, i decided to show my (quite big) list of favorite drarry fics. there are 46 in total, but i’ve listed 10 down below. the first three are my absolute favorites but the rest are equally as good

most of my notes are fresh from when i wrote them post-reading. i’ve changed some, seeming less like a crazy unstable bitch, but fuck these were all emotional as fuck. enjoy

ps: i dont really know how to tag people i dont follow. i cant try and tag the authors later. soz!!

pps: most of these i read when i was really into a bottom!draco phase, so most of them contain that, some are switch tho (as it should be, yikes past me)

1. Everything That Happen is From Now On / ~43K 

After surviving a brutal assault, Draco tries to navigate the tumultuous waters of his mind, and embrace a bit of love and trust in his life. After all, the smallest steps forward can begin to heal the most fractured of souls

okay so before i get in to how beautiful this story is, i wanna say that it does touch on rape quite explicitly. i cried like an idiot reading the entire thing, because draco’s pain is navigated in the most beautiful and realistic way. it touches on a subject very risky for me, very personal, and i still can’t think of a better drarry story. draco’s very draco about it all, and harry is very harry about it all. it’s just perfect, and messy, and tender, and sad. i’ve reread it more than any other fic, and it doesn’t disappoint. 

2. Pocket Full of Starlight / ~46K

When Scorpius Malfoy and Jamie Potter meet at Quidditch camp, they take an instant dislike to each other. Then they discover their lives are more connected than they could possibly imagine.

ah yes. the magic of kid fics. the TASTE

parent trap au. i read this one recently, like 3 months back, and absolutely fell in love with everything about it, partially because the parent trap is legit one of my top 10 favorite movies of all time. its just. the essence, the IDEA, is soooo mf beautiful. i cant get enough of reading when harry or draco finally meet the other twin, or how they cant stop loving each other even after 11 years. my heart clenched throughout the whole thing. 

3. Temptations on the Warfront / ~180K

Draco Malfoy is forced into hiding with the Golden Trio and dragged into their search for horcruxes. What ensues is a journey of redemption, unexpected friendships and an unwanted, turbulent romance with Harry Potter. Warnings for swearing, sexual content, and dark themes. 

this was the first drarry fic ive ever read, and before this mf i HATEDDD this pairing. so you can imagine how much it took to convince me otherwise, bc i was 100% scorbus before this.

to be fair, horcrux hunting with draco involved is, possibly, my favorite trope ever. its unique. theres tension, both sexual and life threatening. in some ways it romanticizes the war, but fuck it it aint a real war. 

slowest of burns. amazing. life changing. long as hell. nothing else to be said except read it right now i demand it.

4. Clouding the Senses / ~58K

As everyone returns to Hogwarts for a final eighth year, some people are coping better with the aftermath of the war than others. After encountering a very drunk Draco Malfoy one night, Harry realises that maybe those that lost loved ones aren’t the only ones trying to escape the war. Blaise Zabini seems to think Harry can help Malfoy, that the Slytherin might actually listen to him. Harry is not so sure. Dependence is a tricky thing, and one addiction can quickly shift to another.

everyone that reads drarry loves 8th year fics, but this ones just kinda different from all those normal (yet entertaining) ones. draco’s an alcoholic in this, and one night harry tries to help him and whoops, one thing leads to the other and they start having casual sex. its really, really amazing how both draco and harry navigate the addiction, i really cant say it has any flaws. 

i know the author got a lot of hate on their fics and thats why they took them down, but they’re truly one of the best drarry authors out there. i’ve reread this a couple of times, and the tenderness, the love and confusion is all very on character. a+

5. Restraint / ~153K

Someone casts the Imperius curse on Draco Malfoy, and whatever the instructions may be, Harry finds himself an unwilling target. The encounter leaves him torn between pleasure and revulsion. As they fight in the aftermath, a tense game begins. Harry fights to convince Malfoy, and himself, that he was not affected by that initial encounter, or any of those following it.

Faced with a series of escalating encounters, Harry must come to terms with desiring things he never thought he could, things he wishes he didn’t respond to. They each use signs of arousal as weapons against each other in a mad struggle to finally shame the other into backing down for good. 

But it’s only after the game is over that Harry starts to understand.

this is by the same author of clouding the senses, and i read this just this week. at first, it’s shocking, because it plays around with consent in a very unsettling way. when communication comes in, and its starts getting healthier, you can really understand where the author found the idea of playing with consent. it is, in my opinion, 100% characteristic of how they would behave post-war, with that grief and confusion. it’s also dom/sub in some parts, and that’s mf hot. 

it also has my favorite tropes in it, but it’s a spoiler to say which one. i’ll probably mention the trope in the list along with a bunch others, but when u finish reading you’ll know which one ;)

6. Humbug / ~30K

Draco has been taking his casual relationship with Harry for granted. Visits from four key ghosts the night before Christmas just might shake up his priorities in life.

(felt like it was valid to just paste what i wrote in my notes app after reading this)

(FUCKKKKKK HOW TO EVEN START?!!!?? just a fucking bonus, draco is THE best bottom o ever exist i love my bottom son so much. this story isnt only amazing it’s excruciatingly painful to read, harry and draco have been sleeping together but harry is completely in love with him. draco doesnt see how much harry cares for him or how much hes hurting harry by treating their fling like its just that, a FLING. with that, draco is haunted by three ghosts. one of the past, the present and the future, AND THEY SET THAT IDIOT STRAIGHTTTT 1800000/10. the gays DO KEEP MF WINNING!!!

7. in your arms, rests my world / ~24K

Harry presses his mouth to Malfoy's forehead; he wants to tell him that he’ll never leave, that he wouldn’t dream of it.

“You make me feel safe, Potter” Malfoy whispers. “You keep me safe.”

the friends with benefits trope doesnt ever disappoint, top 5 tropes fr, especially if its also 8th year. harry and draco get into their little thing, but of course nothing ever is simple between them. by the preview, you can clearly see how much draco likes harry (also another 10/10 trope, the ‘i’ve been in love with harry potter since i was 11′ one). my only tiny issue with this is that harry fucks it up just a tad, but it of course adds up to the drama of it all, which i absolutely love.

noting it also touches on non-con/rape and, and all in all, is extremely angsty. one i was tense from beginning to end. but i am gonna say it ends amazingly and v happily.

8. Playing the Hero / ~29K

Nobody kissed me like Harry did. He kissed like he flew; he kissed like he duelled - with his whole being, not caring about anything else. I had never felt as vulnerable as I did when he kissed me, seizing all and any control I had over myself. But when Harry kissed me, I felt free...

so the thing about angst is that it ignites that mf feeling side u that even tho it hurts you cannot get enough of. this fic was EVERYTHINGGG. it made cry and laugh and smile. also another trope i absolutely adore is them breaking up and not being 100% ok with that, bc ding ding!! YALL STILL LOVE EACH OTHER!! 

i cant describe how i felt, honestly. i would just paste my notes (i wont bc spoilers) but it looks like i went thru sum shit. deadass

9. fine i’ll hold my breath / till i forget it’s complicated  / ~ 15K with the two parts

Harry and Draco become friends with benefits, and Harry thinks it's more complicated than it actually is.

u know, fluff is a drug. i dont know if its beucase 90% of drarry fics are about angsty get-togethers, but i had butterflies in my stomach when i read this. its adorable. draco is so clearly in love, he jusT SMILES A LOT I CANTTT. 

its cute. i love it to death. have some fluff before starting your day.

10. Un Noël très parisien / ~14K

When Draco crossed paths with Auror Potter at a political function in Paris, he was not expecting their former animosity to change into something rather more intriguing. But he could be certain their casual flirtation would not last more than the night, couldn't he?

look. i know i named a lot of my favorite tropes here, but i cant end this without mentioning how much single dad draco affects me. i love scorpius and how much he changes draco in every fic he appears. i love parent draco and i shant be silent about it (especially when scorpius is legit just a year old in this. i died)

as it states, harry and draco have a one night stand but draco thinks thats it, that it was all he was ever gonna have. he’s wrong of course, and the path it takes, with both scorpius and harry there, just melted my mf heart.

well kids that’s all i have for now. imma work on a part two with 10 other fics i really love!1

[djhedy]

what was the most difficult fic for you to write and why?

hello there! ilu. q&a time

ask me questions if ya like

the first thing i wrote that was super emotionally difficult to physically write was: hold me close. because that was my first multi-chap fic for the fandom, and every single sentence in that fic is loaded, like it’s a real craft - i’m not complimenting myself, just saying that some fics are meant to be easy-going or lighthearted, hold me close you’re meant to feel every inch of neil’s anxiety, anger, or uncertainty, in every word. because he does. and i hope it works, because i poured every inch of my own anxiety, anger, and uncertainty into it. so i mean. shit man! that’s tough. being a writer - the kind of writer i am - means being super vulnerable with your stuff. you almost have to forget anyone’s going to read it! fanfic is great because no one who actually knows me in real life will ever read it so my emotions are safe with me haha. anyway this work remains my favourite. probably? IDK. there’s a scene on the beach where he’s shouting at andrew and i just. oosh. it’s a tough’un.

difficult EMOTIONALLY & PRACTICALLY: oh boy man like what did i even call tinder part 5. ummmmm. “what it means to us”? yes that one. rambling and spoilers below!

i cant even begin to explain how much i killed myself over this fic. writing and editing 20k took an entire weekend, plus a few hours dotted here and there over the two months before when i was struggling to get it down. if you’re not a writer, what you don’t see is how many hours are also put into thinking about writing.

it was originally going to be a story focused on how neil works out his sexuality. i wanted, initially, to write a short one-shot where neil has penetrative sex with andrew for the first time, and enjoys it more for the intimacy than the physical feelings, though he does experience both during sex (otherwise i think the kind of sex they have would be painful) - 

i spent months just thinking about how to do this right: I couldn’t have sex be the end-goal, because it isn’t for andrew, and that’s a damaging portrayal of happy demi relationships. sex isn’t the most important thing to everyone. so it couldn’t be to this fic. so it had to happen in the middle, and it had to be messy, and it had to be good demi-rep. showing something negative happening to people you want to show in a positive/happy light is difficult to balance. it couldn’t be like oh poor them sex is hard. it had to be like: oh poor them emotions are hard.

- and i knew it would be a really fucking tough scene to write, because i wanted the reader to enjoy the act as much as neil and andrew do, but then to experience the come down afterwards as andrew does.

so writing the sex scene was tricky and emotionally painful.

AND THEN

andrew took over the fic, in a sense

because he’s the POV, and because i realised where i thought one thing was happening actually two things were happening at once: neil’s confused sexuality and andrew’s trauma. andrew is an older and more sorted version of himself in this fic, but he has still never had sex with someone he really cares about. (he only started to care about kevin after they ended things.) and he always becomes distant after sex, but it has never mattered before.

andrew’s shutdown after sex was really painful to write. i have never experienced going mute, but i have had times where i cannot look at or talk to the person who is trying to talk to me about difficult things. i rarely make eye contact with my therapist, haha. so like having to be in that headspace, to put andrew in it, sucked. and then writing their arguments - i mean fuck man i hated that. i’m sure readers did too. it straight-forwardly sucked. neither of them acted perfect, but then no one does in long-term relationships. relationships are hard, and people aren’t perfect, and i wanted to show that too, but to get it to feel real i had to dig into what it had felt like to have arguments with my ex. AND THAT SUCKED BTW. you’re fucking welcome.

haha anyway

so i mean there’s both a lot of like emotional bullshit i had to experience to write this fic and it’s the most complicated thing i’ve ever had to plan in my head - i never write planning down, but in my head i shift things around, i problem-solve, i work through the consequences of different plot directions. and that took MONTHS. it’s why there was such a long break between Kevin and part 5.

(Kevin, btw, was written as context for neil feeling jealous of kevin. not because he thinks andrew will leave him for kevin, but because kevin is all the things neil is insecure about not being. sexual, an exy player, as unsmiling and cool and hard as andrew, tall lol. i wonder if anyone picked up on the fact that, at the end of kevin, neil says “so that was kevin” and andrew says “yep” and neil just says “cool”. in his head he’s like “hmm” and also “:(” because neil experiences emotions he just often has no idea what they are until matt sorts him out lol.)

anyway. I AM RAMBLING. good lord i could talk about these two all day because i’ve been thinking about them for months but i WONT.

tinder part 5

answering questions is fun thanks for sending them in :) :) :) love u xxx

[fuckyeahexofics]

Fic Search #216

1.

200705. m trying to find a fic i read several years ago. I think it was either kaisoo or chanbaek, and from what i remember one of the characters passed away (i think due to a disease) and somehow the other character ends up dying/on the verge of death as well and they see their partner again (in like a limbo) and want to stay together, but their partner says it's not their time yet and sends them "back". and when the character wakes up (in the ambulance) they are holding onto a pebble/stone?

2. 200706. Hey!! I’m trying to look for a fic that was written years ago! It was a bandau fic- Tao centric. Where Tao started writing fanfics about the members and he wrote in this “secret book” and all of the members tried to find a way to get the book and one time they even made lay go shower with him just to distract him while the others tried to get the book. Oh! And his fanfic writer name was something like “guccigirl~” and he was a popular fanfic writer. Sorry and thank you!!

3.  200710. hope you all are having a good day and staying healthy!! i was wondering if you know a fic that might’ve been master/slave au and had various pairings but focused on suho and chen owned him? i cant remember a lot and i’m trying to find it but the only thing i remember was this scene where chen fucks suhos throat and i’m pretty sure suho didn’t really like him? sorry if that’s not a lot of info but i appreciate everything you do!!

4. 200710. mochg26. OMG are you still in existance!? Like I just found you and I really hope you're still going here in 2020 because I have an ask! And this seems like the best place... should I do my ask here just in case? Okay well I'm looking for a Krisho fic that is like hybrid au where Jun is a barista bunny and Yifan is an alpha wolf and they're at the cafe and some wolves are bothering Jun and Kris comes to his rescue. It's not that long but I'm running out of words.. shit. I hope you can help TT

5.  200714. Okay so I found this doc on ao3 a while back but I can’t find it anywhere. I’m pretty sure it was sebaek, and it’s basically just a kink piece where baekhyun is a demon or an incubus or something that ‘feeds’ on sexual energy, and the story opens with him draining this older guy(joonmyun) by accident so he’s like well what about some younger guys and he ends up at a college party and flirts w Sehun but they are interrupted by approximately two guys (non exo) and it’s basically a gangbang

6. moonrise romance; sadly deleted 200717. Hi! I hope you guys are doing fine in this difficult times ♡ I am looking for a old fics I remember it was pcy/ksoo I remember yeol was a space soldier and Ksoo worked for the gov and he had a baby son with red hair. Yeol come back home for a mission. I remember they had to hide their powers and ksoo has a greenhouse in his home and i think they live in this kind of dome city cus air was really bad. I think there was chen too. I search in every tag and nothing :( thank for ur help ♡

7. 200719. Hi, I’m looking for a fic I’ve tried googling and searching but I must not have the right word combo! I believe it’s Kaisoo and abo but they had broken up but had a child together, Kyungsoo was seeing Baekhyun instead and he had bitten over Jongin’s bite. Kyungsoo didn’t want more children because he wanted them to have the same Dad. Anyway at the end (possibly because of Kyungsoo heat) Kaisoo get back together and have another baby. If you can find this thank you so much!

8. 200801. I'm trying to locate a fic that I'm sure was on AO3. I could've sworn the title was "when the lights go out and all the sinners crawl" or something like that. It was a kaisoo demon/angel fic where they get trapped in a circle kai made.

9. heartbeat highway by xiseoks 200726. hi! i'm looking for a baekchen fic i read a while back on ao3, and all i can remember about it is that it was best friends to lovers and took place in the 80s? i think? or otherwise had an 80s sort of vibe. thanks!

10. The Beauty of Death 200727. Hi! Can you please help me find this fic? BH and Lu were notorious thieves? While CY was just a normal dude. There was this scene, where Lu kidnapped CY. They were in a bar? when he took pic of CY and send it to BH. BH goes there immediately. I also remember, Lu & BH trained CY to seduce a woman. This woman has the jewel that Lu and BH wanted, they couldn’t do it by themselves because their identity has already been compromised that’s why they trained Yeol. Lu and BH we’re watching thru the cctv

11. ashore 200801. Hi! Asking about a chanbaek fic where chanyeol is a pirate and baekhyun is either a mermaid/siren and he gets in hugeee trouble for loving a human. His "mother" is this huuuuge sea creature. [SPOILER AHEAD] at the end, chanyeol has a daughter who mentions she's seen a mermaid by the beach who gave her a little trinket chanyeol had given baekhyun. I'm not entirely sure where I read it! Thank youuuu

12. 200806. momwoni. Hey, I'm wondering if you guys know this fic that I've been looking for a while. I'm pretty sure it was ChanSoo, where Chanyeol is an intern and Kyungsoo is his mentor? I think Chanyeol is Kyungsoo fan or admire him and in the end he choose to not work for that company. It's vague I'm sorry, but it'll be wonderful if I can read it again. Thanks for your hardwork all these years, stay safe guys! Lots of love for you guys

Thanks @pipatsu and anon!

[hwu-adventures-blog]

The Next Great Adventure:

(Ernest x MC):

A/N: I’m so sorry for this, I was in the mood for writing something sad so prepare for extreme angst and a bit of fluff (this fic also has references to a ongoing series set after the events of Desire and Decorum I am doing but haven’t updated in a year because I’ve been so busy but I’m definitely going to pick it up after book 3 has ended, called Family Life, so spoilers for that, I suppose so read that first if you want to read it and don’t want chapter 3 spoiled if not, go ahead and I hope you enjoy this!).

The year 1886, Edgewater Estate, England 6:30 in the evening:

The lights were dimmed on the night 31st October, setting the mood for what the overall feeling was at Edgewater Estate. Countess Beatrice Sinclaire was laying in bed surrounded by her four surviving children.

“Vincent, you’re the earl of Edgewater now, you have to-“ she was interrupted by a very strong coughing fit that was more wheezing than coughing

“Now mama, just rest and save your strength, there’ll be no talk of that now” Vincent, a man in his mid sixties said to his mother handing her a drink

“No- you know as much as I do that my time is drawing to a close, I must, I know that you’ll be good man, and make all the right decisions- my only regret is that I didn’t go away sooner”

“You’re a fighter mama, don’t you worry now” the third living child said

“Eustace, how are your children? I am sorry I called you over at such short notice”

“They’re doing well- they were disappointed they couldn’t visit you”

“Good, good, you look after them right, and keep fighting the discrimination against the fact you have a cane, I won’t be able to help much more, I’m afraid. Mary” Beatrice addressed her first born daughter next

“Yes mama?”

“Keep that head up and don’t let anyone tell you what you can and can’t do, you’ve come so far to let that stop you”

“I will mama, as long as you promise to let George know we haven’t forgotten about him”

“I can do that” she wheezed “Clem?”

“Mama?”

“You make sure they don’t twist any of what happened at Edgewater, yes? I don’t want any of the Karlingtons getting the facts wrong”

“I will make sure they remember”

“Good girl”

Beatrice swallowed her “I love you so much my children”

“We love you too mama, and give papa our regards” Vincent said

“I will, however, I almost don’t want to leave just yet- until I know you will all be alright”

“We will be mama, you don’t have to worry about that now, just rest, we shall be fine” Clementine spoke softly “you just worry about Papa scolding you for taking too long” she joked about the death of their father twenty years prior “he’ll be waiting for you”

“I’ve missed him so much, and I just can’t wait to see him again” Beatrice smiled weak in her old age before she shut her eyes to go to sleep

“Goodnight mama, sleep well”

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Beatrice Sinclaire opened her eyes, she was stood in a room and felt..... younger.

Instinctively, she glanced down at her hands, and to her astonishment there wasn’t a single wrinkle in sight. She was young again. She glanced around at her surroundings, Edgewater? Wasn’t she just laying in bed and not standing up? What was going on? Was this some kind of dream? She looked behind her, to see her children, all as they were before she went to sleep; surrounding a dimly lit bed. What on Earth was going on?

Then there was a slight creak as the door behind her opened with a bright light surrounding it and three familiar faces walked in. She turned around and shock settled onto her face along with confusion, this had to be a dream

“Father? Mama? Lady grandmother?” Beatrice looked bewildered at the three members of her family. How could they be here?

“Beatrice” Vincent smiled as the two parents embraced their daughter

“What’s going on?”

“Don’t be afraid, my brilliant daughter” Mary spoke with the gentleness only a mother could know before pulling back from her daughter

“Your time has come to join us” Dominique smiled at her granddaughter “you’ve done well to keep Edgewater’s legacy but now it’s time for that role to be passed to someone else”

It was then that Beatrice realised what was going on, they’d come to get her and whilst she was grateful, she was bothered. She always assumed Ernest would be the one to get her, not her parents and if that was a sign that Ernest wasn’t there then she wasn’t sure she wanted to go to the next place. She looked behind her, back at her children, she also didn’t quite want to leave them just yet, they’d be devastated and what about the future of Edgewater itself? What if it all was destroyed after her death? Not that she didn’t trust her eldest son but she could never be sure about what could happen, what if something happened that was beyond their control? She had to be there-

“They’ll be alright” a new voice entered the conversation startling the woman “I’m sure of it” and there, entering the room were two faces Beatrice hadn’t seen in years, a man and a child, her heart leapt when she heard the man’s voice and the Countess, well soon to be ex-countess smiled and ran to the two new figures as their shadowy figures stepped out of the light and towards her.

“Ernest!” Beatrice exclaimed as she was swept up into her equally young looking husband’s arms “My Ernest!”

“My Beatrice” he smiled gleefully as he spun her up into the air before putting her down “my beautiful wife!”

Beatrice then crouched down to the small child beside him, a boy about six years old, she reached out to touch the boy’s face

“George”

“Mama” the six year old wrapped his arms around her “I’ve missed you mama”

“I know, I’ve missed you too but I’m here now”

“You mean you’re not going away?”

George let go of his mother who stood up glanced back at the scene behind her before turning back once more. Knowing now that with Ernest’s reassurance, she knew that the future of Edgewater was in good hands.

“No, I think it is time I passed on don’t you?” She smiled at her ghostly family “I’ve been tempted to join you all for a while, and let my other children run Edgewater accordingly”

“However, It did only take you two decades for you to actually do it” Ernest said smiling slightly in an attempt to tease his wife.

“oy, I couldn’t just leave them so soon after you had gone, what parent could bare to do that?”

“I do believe that was a jest aimed at me” Vincent said to his daughter “and I take offence to that” however his smile said otherwise

“I am quite glad your quick wit hasn’t dampened since I left you my little girl” Mary added

“Are you ready to go?” Ernest glanced at his wife, who took his hand in one hand and little George’s in the other

“As long as you’re there with me, I’m ready for anything”

with a smile, the six figures stepped into the light together. And as they did, Beatrice Sinclaire, formerly Morse, the bastard child of Vincent and Mary, champion of the realm, once mistress of Ledford Park and Countess of Edgewater, breathed out her last breath, completely ready for whatever adventure the next life will bring.

A/N 2: Now I’m thinking of writing a part two where it focuses on Ernest’s death in particular would anyone be up to that? Oh and do keep an eye out for part four (or five? I cant remember how many parts are out already) Of Family life which probably coming over Christmas holidays or sooner depending on how much University work I’ve got but I’m working on it! Anyway, thanks for reading!

[memoriashell]

to you, who i write for

Characters / Pairing: Soriku; though it really just reads as Riku angst / pining. 

crossposted on ao3

Notes: This was the first thing I wrote post KH3 and I think I’m okay with putting it out at this point. So yes, warning for KH3 spoilers.

The formatting of this fic is a little weird quite frankly, because it’s a ( mostly ) texting based fic. I used strikethrough at points to indicate messages that were deleted / unsent, but since I know strikethrough can be finicky on some devices ( tumblr mobile ), so I’ve gone ahead and also italicized those parts as well.

There are also some obvious typos! Mostly for a touch of realism because Riku absolutely accidentally typos shit. There are other reasons that I hope are obvious when reading it!

Summary: Riku keeps sending messages because he doesn’t know how else to cope.

( somehow, i hope these words reach you )

[ Text : Sora ] I’m sorry I haven’t texted back in a while.

[ Text : Sora ] We’ve been busy. Not that that’s any excuse.

I’m sure you’ve been too busy to notice.

[ Text : Sora ] Mickey said to tell you he sends his best wishes.

Let me knwo if you need anything.

It’s an admittedly bad habit he’s gotten into, writing up messages that he won’t send. Riku means to cut off the urge before it become a habit, but here he is, still typing up messages for him and him alone.

It’s kind of therapeutic, to write up the things that he can’t really find the words to say aloud— and one would say he should invest in a journal before he accidentally sends a text he does not mean to, but he doesn’t think it’d be quite the same. Doesn’t simulate the same kind of conversation, even if that means a few things that he doesn’t mean to say slip through.

( If it were just anyone he was sending these messages to, Riku knows he might have more than a few reservations— but it’s Sora, who never judges him, even if there are more than a few things he would like to keep secret for him ).

So he continues typing up messages to get things off his chest, and if Sora finds it annoying that he spends more time typing up theoretical conversations than actually having them, he never says anything about it. Probably because Sora only understands how to use their gummiphones half the time to begin with.

Of course, he does send actual messages too, even if perhaps less frequently. Short little blurbs when he can tell that by the increasing frequency in his messages that Sora is worried ( and as bad as Riku is at saying what he wants, he can at least make sure he isn’t worrying for no good reason ).

Notifications of social media updates, text messages that were a litany of errors between them; the buildup of numbers bring some form of comfort.

Until they don’t.

[ Text : Sora ] It’s not like it’s nothing new. Being separated from you two.

We’ve done it before in worse circumstances.

[ Text : Sora ] It hurts?

Is this what it was like for you?

I think I understand your pain now. Srry.

[ Text : Sora ] Are you coming home soon?

[ Text : Sora ] It’s still weird to not wake up to you clogging up my notifications.

[ Text : Sora ] I guess I can return that favor for once.

I’ll try to keep you updated on hwo everyone’s doing.

[ MESSAGE UNREAD ]

If he had been dependent on his phone before, then it was most certainly his lifeline afterwards.

Old notifications are left alone, a flashing number remains constant—as if the moment Riku checks it, it will disappear ( and some of the hope that he clings onto will go with it ).

He sends messages when he needs someone to talk to, so, nothing has really changed in that regard. He thinks about it a little more like writing letters than a journal. Sora will see them eventually, he hopes—thinks he would laugh at how many messages he sends and what kind of things Riku chooses to talk about.

It’s better than thinking of the alternative—

( The illusion is jarring and broken more quickly than he would like to admit because Sora has almost always been quick to check his messages, regardless of situation, the fact that the device will remind him of the fact that his messages continue to go unread is jarring and hard to get used to.

He willingly clings to the hope that something might change )

[ Text : Kairi ] Why.

[ Text : Kairi ] Why was it you?

Why was it him?

[ Text : Kairi ] Was it all pointless?

I think it’s my fault.

[ Text : Kairi ] For not doing something.

Sooner.

Better.

Whatevr.

[ Text : Kairi ] It should have been me, not you.

[ Text : Kairi ] I want to see you two come back.

[ Text : Kairi ] We should talk when you both are safe again.

[ Text : Sora ] It’s weird.

[ Text : Sora ] Sometimes it feels like you two are dead or something.

I mean.

You kind of are?

[ Text : Sora ] But you promised. You’d come bcak.

I’m holding you to that.

[ Text : Sora ] Sometimes it just.

Feels like we can’t talk about you for some reason.

Guess everyone’s still hurting.

[ Text : Sora ] They miss you, though. I can tell.

They miss both of you.

[ Text : Sora ] I miss you both.

[ Text : Sora ] Come home soon.

[ Text : Sora ] You promised.

[ Text : Sora ] If I called, would you answer?

[ Text : Sora ] I guess not.

There are some miracles evn you can’t pull off.

[ Text : Sora ] I’m trying to act like it’s okay.

[ Text : Sora ] You can probably tell otherwise though. You’ve always been good at that.

Even if you can’t pick up on other things.

[ Text : Sora ] Srory.

About everything.

I’ll try harder.

[ Text : Sora ] I know you’d want me to.

[ Text : Sora ] I can’t

I haven’t been seleep?

Sleeping.

[ Text : Sora ] I keep.

[ Text : Sora ] Dreaming.

[ Text : Sora ] About yyou? I think?

Thats not really somehting new, though.

[ Text : Sora ] But it’s dffrnet this time?

I think

I know?

I’m seeing hwat you’re doing?

[ Text : Sora ] Im.

[ Text : Sora ] I’m nnot sure?

[ Text : Sora ] I’m worr

[ Text : Sora ] Im scared.

[ Text : Sora ] I’m scared for yuou.

[ Text : Sora ] I haven’t mentioned it too anyone.

I’ll have to eventually because I’m not sleeping enough

Can barely make sense of what I’m writing.

Pretty sure Aqua’s going to start casting sheep spells on me soon.

[ Text : Sora ] I’m sure you would agree with her.

Probably would have beeen the one to fall asleep instead.

[ Text : Sora ] But.

I can’t tell them?

Not yet,

[ Text : Sora ] I don’t wwant them to have to hurt more.

[ Text : Sora ] I know you’d want me to rely on them but.

Trust me on htis one?

[ Text : Sora ] I 

I think

I know Im asking too much

[ Text : Sora ] I’m being selfish agian?

Sorry.  

[ Text : Sora ] Pleaes come back soon.

[ Text : Kairi ] I hate you.

[ Text : Kairi ] No.

I don’t.

I 

[ Text : Kairi ] I hate me.

I think you knew that already, though.

I’m sorry.

[ Text : Kairi ] I wish you were here.

I think you’d know how to handle thsi better than I do.

I miss being able to talk to you.

Both of you.

[ Text : Kairi ] I’ll make it up to you both.

Soon.

[ Text : Kairi ] I promise.

[ Text : Sora ] I miss you.

[ Text : Sora ] I’m sorry.

[ Text : Sora ] You two have been gone for a year now.

It’s weird.

I guess we can officially hold a funeral?

[ Text : Sora ] I’m joking. Kind of.

It was a serious consideration, I think. By someone.

[ Text : Sora ] Probably Lea.

[ Text : Sora ] Still having dreams but.

Less frequently lately.

I’m worried. Is everything okay?

[ Text : Sora ] Before, I could always tell you were alright.

Just a feeling in my heart that told me so.

I’m starting to wonder if I can actually tell that you’re alive still

Or if I’m just being hopefull.

[ Text : Sora ] We miss you.

[ Text : Sora ] We haven’t given up on you two.

[ Text : Sora ] So you better come back.

I think they’ll cry if you don’t.

[ Text : Sora ] Because you.

[ Text : Sora ] For them.

[ Text : Sora ] We just.

[ Text : Sora ] Aynways.

[ Text : Sora ] Just hang on a little longer. Please.

[ Text : Sora ] I sthis my fault for not doing anything.

[ Text : Sora ] For not saying anything?

[ Text : Sora ] Im

I 

It’s too late now, I guess.

[ Text : Sora ] I wish I could hcange things.

[ Text : Sora ] It wasn’t supposed to be you.

[ Text : Sora ] I’m sorry.

[ Text : Sora ] I miss you.

I wish I didnt.

I know it’s not weak to feel like this but.

[ Text : Sora ] I wish I ccould be stronger. For both of you.

[ Text : Sora ] Srory

[ Text : Sora ] Sorry

[ Text : Sora ] I love you.

[ Text : Sora ] It’s kind of weird.

Scary weird.

[ Text : Sora ] Sometimes it feels like everyone else has forgotten about you two.

[ Text : Sora ] I guess they’ve started moving on and I haven’t.

I always hold onto things too long.

[ Text : Sora ] Somehow it doesn’t feel that simple.

[ Text : Sora ] Don’t tell them, but

I’m scared they’re forgetting?

[ Text : Sora ] It’s happened before. Not tht you remember.

[ Text : Sora ] That’s why I have to keep sending you messages.

Even on the bad days. When I can’t

Dont know what to say.

[ Text : Sora ] So I won’t forget.

[ Text : Sora ] Sometimes I think I’m being irrational, though.

[ Text : Sora ] I know they still remember you.

[ Text : Sora ] They have to.

[ Text : Sora ] You haven’t forgotten about us either, right?

[ Text : Sora ] I can’t

[ Text : Sora ] Im trying

[ Text : Sora ] It’s.

[ Text : Sora ] Bad.

Feels bbad. Brken.

[ Text : Sora ] Haven’t written in a hwile.

While.

Sorry.

[ Text : Sora ] Cant figure out what I want to say.

[ Text : Sora ] Trying to be better.

[ Text : Sora ] Cloud be worse?

[ Text : Sora ] That’s not. Saying mcuh.

[ Text : Sora ] Sorry.

[ Text : Sora ] I’ll try to ttalk to you again soon.

[ Text : Sora ] Kairi came home today.

[ Text : Sora ] I’m sure you knew that.

[ Text : Sora ] We talked for a bit.

She couldn’t talk about you.

Can’t blame her.

[ Text : Sora ] You’re worrying me again.

What happened?

[ Text : Sora ] I think it’s been almost two years now?

Not srue.

Stopped keeping track.

Days keep blurring together.

[ Text : Sora ] I did a year before

So this shouldn’t be that much worse.

But it’s so much harder ths time?

[ Text : Sora ] Probably because I at least knew you were safe last time.

[ Text : Sora ] We’re trying.

[ Text : Sora ] Im try

We want you back home. Safe.

[ Text : Sora ] I’ll try harder.

[ Text : Sora ] Are you waiting for me?

[ Text : Sora ] I hpoe you’re just slaking off again.

[ Text : Sora ] Sora, I 

We

It’s so bad without uyou.

[ Text : Sora ] Please.

[ Text : Sora ] Come home.

[ Text : Sora ] We ccan’t.

[ Text : Sora ] I cant

Do this? Without you

I

[ Text : Sora ] We’re all still waiting on you.

His phone has become a definitive lifeline to keeping himself sane. Which isn’t saying much when he is haunted by another lifetime in his dreams, but—

He’s never cared for conventional, healthy methods, anyways. He takes too much care into making sure nothing happens to his phone because, well ( he doesn’t want to imagine what would happened if something happened— but he clings to the hope of a sign, anyways ).

The feeling of something distant in his soul, something missing— something rips at his soul and in the same moment something comes up on his phone—

He must have voiced some sort of anguish because he’s distantly aware of someone asking if he’s okay, but—

He can’t respond, eyes focused on the pop-up on his phone

[ ERROR: MESSAGE COULD NOT BE SENT TO RECIPIENT ]

[ Text : Sora ] I guess these aren’t getting to you?

[ Text : Sora ] That’s fine.

It was foolish for me to hope any of these messages could reach you.

[ Text : Sora ] I still haven’t looked at any of your old messages.

[ Text : Sora ] I like to think you were answering my messages.

Silly, but it helped sometimes.

[ Text : Sora ] Bfeore I could feel you. Knew you were okay.

But not today. What happened?

I know you can’t tell me but.

Wish you could.

[ Text : Sora ] Is this why Kairi couldn’t tell us?

[ Text : Sora ] I think the others can tell too.

That something is different.

[ Text : Sora ] I know I can’t call you, but can you call me?

[ Text : Sora ] It’s important.

[ Text : Sora ] Because I know

If you call, I’ll be able to find you.

[ Text : Sora ] Nothing could stop me from finding you.

Nothing.

[ Text : Sora ] So call for me?

[ Text : Sora ] I’ll see you soon, Sora

Promise.

[ ERROR: MESSAGE COULD NOT BE SENT TO RECIPIENT ]