#cant disagree w that rly
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I love my brothers so much i want to protect them all wasaaa
#.txt#i love my parents but i think they r harsh nd mean nd not self aware at all#my parents dont believe they were strict growing up#but my moms the same one who took my phone away for a while year bc i was depressed#my parents r the same ppl who didnt lwt me do anytbing growing up#i literally didnt ask them to do anything bc ik they wpuld say no#i was so paranoid in highschool i couldnt even enjoy my free periods without thinking id get in trouble from my dad#my parents are now being rly strict nd harsh to my youngest brother#nd im doing all i can to support him but its also hard bc the fee times i disagree w my parents they get mad#so ive leanred to keep my mouth shut nd talk to my brother privately about my support for him#u kno how messed up it is tht i cant side w my brother in front of my parents#i have a lot of trauma from my parents nd ive done A LOT to better myself so it makes me feel so bad seeing the same things happen to my bro#nd my other brother he is literally the poster child for traumatized kid nd its insane to me how my parents dont see it#he moved out the second he could nd hasnt been living back here since#my parents stress abt like oh why does he hate us blah blah blah its bc u guys r not nice 😭😭😭#like how r u not self aware omg kids turn out a certain way bc of the ppl who raised them come onnnnnnnn
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Thats partly why im absolutely baffled that ppl ship steve w eddie and/or billy bc like the boy could not be straighter and no there is absolutely NO internalized homophobia there, the reason he was homophobic in s1 is bc he was a homophobe (and also bc jonathan is so obviously bi) and now hes not homophobic bc thats character growth and the reason hes obsessed w trying to find love is bc hes desperately trying to get over nancy and he cant bc i think he genuinely does love her and want her to be the mother of his children bc he realizes that its ok not to have educational/work ambition, and also bc he has been abused and neglected by his parents and is determined to do better and also needs to feel loved
Anyway that digressed but if someone wants to explain to me their headcanon that Steve is bi/gay im happy to listen but i just cant imagine a world in which id actually be convinced. Also if you take that invitation as an opportunity to be a sociopathic jackass dont bother lmao hellcheer4lyfe
#op#dont start shit PLS dont start shit im not trying to inflame ship wars im rly not#i am a ship and let ship person im allowed to disagree w you and youre allowed to disagree w me#and we can live together and love the show and love the characters in a different way#that being said if youre a homophobic and/or misogynistic mlm shipper you can fuck right off#anyway#turning off rbs so ppl cant get unhinged (as if thatll stop them lol)#discourse
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my tags on that went on for so long i had to go back and edit them to fit tag limit and i still had to delete a bunch of them. Its the autism it literally is
#funerary practices and the afterlife and body disposal methods and just. grief and mourning in general r like. My bigggg autism thing i dont#talk abt it a lot bc 1 i just Dont shut up once i get going 2 a lot of ppl dont want to hear abt stuff like that which is fine. kicked pupp#expression. i just find it very very interesting to see how different ppl grieve and whats considered like. Right and wrong when it comes t#care of the body yk. bc like. most/every culture has their practices and anything outside of that feels wrong to them bc its like. yk its s#pivotal idr the exact anecdote/story but caitlin doughty mentioned it in one of her books where like. there were 2 groups and one cremated#their dead and the other practiced mortuary cannibalism and both viewed the other as barbaric and it rly shaped how i view it like. yk. its#rly something so personal where even when the way someone grieves makes you uncomfortable its like. you cant force someone to grieve in a#way thats palatable to you. yk. for a rly long time washing the body and being with the body after death was a rly important part of grief#in like. usamerican culture its only more recently that it became wayyy less common w the rise of funeral homes and stuff. and obv for many#ppl that wouldnt be comforting but i think it could be for a lot of ppl..#my personal belief on it is everyone should be allowed to grieve and dispose of the dead As they want and that should be like. yk. theres#the nebulous term of Desecration which is legally rly difficult to define there r a lot of states where the law is 'if it would outrage#normal family values' which is just so fucking stupid obviously like. whos family. bc every single person has a different view on whats#appropriate yk... IDK. i think as long as its relatively safe for the living and as long as its not like. Against the wishes of the decease#like. if someone says they want a burial and then theyre cremated (not out of necessity like 4 financial stuff) im like. yk. obv theyre dea#but i think its important to honor their last wishes... yk. and that should go for like. If someone wants an open pyre cremation that shoul#be available... if someone wants aquamation etc. IDK. etc. like. another thing is with embalming while i wish it werent De Facto ppl r#railroaded into it i entirely disagree w ppl who say it should be wiped out entirely like. there r environmental ramifications 4 sure and i#love for that to be more like. talked abt... but embalming is rly important to a lot of ppl and idt its right to shit all over that. idt it#necessary for every death i personally dont see the point of embalming for like. a peaceful death with a quick funeral and theyre getting#cremated after. but ik like. for a lot of black families embalming is very important for like. a reclamation esp in violent or traumatic#deaths its very important to have like. a funeral with a viewing. and i think thats something that shouldnt be taken away from anyone ever.#even like. ik this is controversial but extreme embalming w/ posing and stuff as long as thats what the decease wanted like. i think its#awesome !! i Dont agree w taking the corpses of the poor or disenfranchised to prop up for art pieces Personally but like. there r ppl who#want to be displayed like that like. riding their motorcycle one last time or ummm. that posthumous concert that happened. i get how it can#seem morbid or wtvr but like. the families r happy with that its what those ppl wanted and it like. its a celebration of their life and#their interests and i think thats super important. BASICALLY.#ok tag limits coming so im cutting myself off for sure this time. but wtvr. i hope this makes sense to anybody else sorry i rambled. im ver#passionate abt it KJBADKJBDKJ
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im generally very skeptical of the kneejerk "technology is the devil and edison was a witch" reaction to social media so ofc the criticism of tiktok is always suspect
but i cant deny that truly the minute i uninstalled it my mental health did like a full 180. i started to do my hobbies more, and have fuller conversations w/ people. my attention span had been whittled down to nothing which is saying smth seeing as i still have ADHD
obv i think the real answer is that its a combo of factors (my own self-control, the unique social drain my job already provides, etc.) but like. i cant say any other social media has rly done that to me. smth was going on
****disclaimer: this is in agreement w a post that was tiktok-critical but against the legal banning of it, i dont think that legal choice is the one to make. but im disagreeing w the idea that negative criticism of tiktok is inherently unfounded. no one twist my words there please
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Just went on Instagram to look at more DR art (because tumblr won't let me see a lot of DR art for some reason) and saw hinanami discourse out in the wild which made me say, out loud, "oh, are we still doing this 💀"
Like idk if I've just aged out of the fandom (on Instagram) but just seeing that hinanami rant made me realize I've been spoiled by the DR community on Tumblr bc I'll scroll on here for 2 minutes and see a text post that will literally SHIFT my entire view of a character/ship and CHANGE my LIFE in just a small analysis that was probably written by op while they were on the toilet💀
Anyway it made me think of the post about Maki and Chappel Roan that I actually recited by memory out loud to my friend last night [gooning over wlw content together after watching Muriel's Wedding], And also that one post abt Monomi and Monokuma being Junko's satire of her own rivalry with Mukuro, and Junko not liking that her friends don't appreciate her fursona doing stand-up 💀💀 and like compare that to Instagram discourse and it's like "Komahina is stupid bc hinata isn't straight" like 💀
Anyway maybe it was the same on tumblr before [it probably definitely was] but now that I'm older I'm really appreciating mature convos/takes about danganronpa because good fanfiction/fanart/fan interpretations are truly adapting the story+characters in much better ways than the creators could ever imagine circa 2010 [pointy objects] [peaches and cream] [anything w/autistic nagito] [anything w/transmasc hajime]
number one rule of modern fandom experience (at the very least with media that has a propensity to draw Certain Crowds [looking especially hard at danganronpa and p5]) is CURATE YOUR OWN SPACE AND STRAY NO FARTHER ‼️‼️‼️ i personally escaped the early era dr fandom (pre v3 localization/the 2019 Danganronpa Renaissance) but time capsule posts tell me i dodged something of a bullet there ❤️ in that vein 2019/2020/covid era discourse was still crazy insane (<- was a part of it for sure LMFAO) but it had a much different Flavor than it did way back when. and the same is true of present-day: still a little kooky if you search hard enough (insta/tiktok/twitter/tumblr all have their own demons). but at least This go around i have largely avoided that by picking my people that i trust not to be Weird and just living in my own bubble wrt the dr fandom at large. and thats served me very well the past year+ since i got back into dr <3 and i have also seen MANY of those perspective-altering posts in that little curation circle that has deepened and made better my experience THE GOOD IS OUT THERE ‼️‼️‼️
THE JUNKO FURSONA POST ALSO LIVES IN MY BRAIN its so real and just one of many takes i’ve seen fly by in a post and been like This is so real and it’s mine now. many such cases <3 i follow people like that and simply block people expending energy on discourse i DOOOOOONT care about. like simply enjoy kmha (I SURE DO ‼️‼️‼️) if you like it and ignore hnmi/kmnmi if you dont (cant relate I LOVE YOU TOO HINANAMI + KOMANAMI ‼️‼️‼️) and live your life happy not angry ❤️
like re: maki lesbianism (which was written on the toilet no lie) she is The most lesbian of all time i could write 10,000 scholarly articles on her comphet + traumatic past of being made to hurt people keeping her from fully coming to terms with herself as a lesbian and as someone who wants to Protect the people she loves (an integral pillar of butchness!!!!!!!!) and it is so important to me. and MANY people disagree! and i simply just dont worry about it <3 but i DO think about the people that agree (and the people who i Influence to agree…..that makes me so happy to hear you talking about it with people :D) and that makes fandom FUN!!!!! not arguing over word of god or whatever that isn’t going to change anyone’s opinions anyway 😭
there is a LOOOOOT of good discussion and character/scene analysis and genuinely fun unique takes on tumblr (+ im sure other places but i rly only interact with dr on her & Occasionally by liking a twt post on my main) and that’s where i’ve made my niche <3 people having fun with the media they enjoy and trying to salvage its shortcomings and missteps because they love it!!
and putting little old Me up amongst the dr goats (transmasc hajime) (autistic nagito)………..framing this ask tbh the HIGHEST honor 4 me……..thank you my beloved cider as always KISS MWAH MWAH
#ask#bittercideristaken#dr#un ange#i Looooove this stupid shitty series and i love people who love it and i think we should all have fun and kiss and smoke weed instead of#arguing about stuff you can simply filter tag or block over <3#do what you want forever and ever ❤️ thats what im going to keep doing because hey ITS WORKED OUT SO FAR!!!!!!#also re: struggling to find art: i follow character tags and scroll thru the tab every week or so and thats how i find my art/analysis here#mostly <3 and following blogs that post in the tags a lot! i havent needed to traverse insta/twt for art But admittedly i am mostly#obsessed with The danganronpa characters of all time (nagito)(hajime) so there is no shortage of content. gonta however……..💔#rules for danganronpa ONE curate your fandom experience for enjoyment TWO have fun THREE if theres no content MAKE IT!!!!!!!!!!!#<- true of saigoku. and non-killing game development of main v3 squad + kiibo + gonta. and transfem nagito. kmha sdr2 rewrites not so mych#BUT THEY WILL EXIST IN MY VISION BECAUSE I SAY SO ‼️‼️‼️#i luv u writing. hit a really good spot in new pointy objects chapter i am EXCITED TO WRITE!!!!!!!!! ❤️❤️❤️
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i. may have asked this before (if i did i absolutely forgot) BUT do you have voiceclaims for any of your ocs' normal and/or singing voices ??
you havent i dont think!! it is a good question and one i think about a lot.. a difficult one for me to answer with 'they DEFINITELY sound like this' bcuz my brain has a hard time attaching itself to particular voices for my characters, and wanting them to have trans va's etc. so these r mostly like approximations or ideas!
im not including every oc here just like, major ones for me, or ones who i have an idea of what their voices sound like better
blue: so what i know for him he has a masculine voice, something that can get screamy, but hes technically skilled enough as a vocalist to pull off a ballad no problem (this is not uncommon for rock vocalists). one thing i want from him is sounding similar between talking or singing, you can tell its the same guy. ive always had trouble finding a fitting voice for him.. i associate nightlife with him in some ways i think bcuz hansel romero has a very clear voice, and i could see smth like a foreign affair being.. adjacent-ish for him (u can see how much i struggle to find smth truly fitting for him). neither of these bands rly play the exact kinda rock music i think he sings tho so yknow, grain of salt here. kid me thought he sounded like dane cook. for better or for worse i cant rly like.. disagree with that lol. i also used 2 think he should have a grungier voice but thats kinda changed w time lol he looks more like he could pass as a member of a boy band nowadays
edit: coming back later on mobile without an ability to link songs to also throw magnolia park into the blue ring bcuz they kinda have a modern nu metal growl going on i like and think is very bluey
edit 2: bmth adjacent or smth for blue maybe actually sorry. i fight between more grunge and more pop punk esque
elle: i havent successfully found anyone who really fits the vibes i want from her yet. she has a gruff low voice, like a smoker or something, her voice breaks a lot when she sings. none of these musicians rly match what i want from her but i could see them working in other ways: stand atlantic, nxdia, or tolü makay. all these ppl have the wrong accents for her i just realized LOL. imagine all that but southern
edit: coming back to elle (on mobile again so cant link) to suggest maybe ada rook or something for her. i suggested that for roxy too but yk <3
malani: she sounds like foxcult
dakota: keshi maybe.. i have always been at a loss with them lol
kaisa: something like quay dash or trapselyna maybe
edit: i don’t know how i forgot this but i literally already thought she sounded like blessing jolie LOL
angel: im actually very solid on the vibe and sound of her voice: something like chase icon, scene queen, or nattalie blake
pose: ayesha erotica. or whichever one of the superfruit guys sang guy.exe. theres no in between
gem: maybe arca
griff: jxdn or isaac dunbar probably
nasir: plvtinum i think. i wasnt gonna include him but it just felt too fitting.. i also thought about tobre for him
cain: oh i know this one for sure. alaska thunderfuck
casimir: alexsucks or binki
lucas: jelani aryeh
angus: duckwrth probably
cole: i dont think any of my other characters sound like streamers (i barely know any) except cole, the streamer, who sounds like astralspiff LOL very 'some guy'
izzy: he probably sounds like the sleeping with sirens guy tbh. or wolf & bear or something
level: honestly probably kesha
roxy: something rough industrial/noisecore-ish, maybe ada rook or backxwash
#thank u for asking !! i am very . unset w voiceclaims but its fun to think abt :)#ive always liked to keep things open bcuz i wanted to work in animation as a kid so i thought they WOULD have voice actors#cuz theyd be in tv shows or smth yknow. so i didnt want to get dead set on someone only to not get them#at least when it comes to older ocs like blue and elle who have existed since i was a kid#keymintt#asks#ocs
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wish more slash fics w riddle rly delved into the whole situation w merope gaunt...like not in the "he was conceived under a love potion so he cant feel love" (which i disagree/dont like but whtevr) but in the "your obsessive and harmful ways of love have passed onto me"
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Hmm I see your point.
I guess to me it seemed like Sarah rly wants us to know who’s next (unlike her publisher) and trying to point in Az’s direction w/o her actually being able to tell us. Like nudging us along haha
Like the Rhys thing I can see why she kept a secret. But what mate secrets are truly left that she’d have to keep mum about? At least in regards to major characters who’ll have books. We know elucien mates and she’s hinted at gwynriel being mates. She doesn’t have to “hide” any of that any longer. The “who will end up with who” isnt as a big of a question within the books.
And the Elain statement. Yeah, it’s not exactly what Sarah said but how she said it. In contrast, when she answered the question about Az book she was a lot more excited.
I guess sometimes I get confused cause I’m like why does the fandom seem more confused than they should be?😭 I understand having differing opinions, but at some point we all gotta reach the same conclusion. There cant be more than one right answer. But instead of the disagreements being on the how, ppl are disagreeing on the what and it leaves me flabbergasted. But I guess that’s fandom
Alas, I’m excited either way, no matter which order. I love both couples and I know we’re gonna an epic romance for both💚 thanks for answering
She is under contract so I'm not sure how much she can subtly hint at without risking breaching if that's Bloomsbury's plan.
Or whether she gets a kick out of making everyone look one way then later surprising is with something we weren't expecting.
And I do agree that SJM has loved talking about things she's excited for while also keeping other things secret. She said she didn't even reveal the crossover to her husband and was pretty quiet on Yrene reappearing in TOD until it was time for that book. Since there's precedence for both scenarios, it's tough to say which this is 😂
We'll all be here with bated breath to find out which it is!
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https://www.tumblr.com/youturningintodust/735765266414387200/yes-this-is-rape-culture-done-by-women-well?source=share
invert in op's bio
honestly the invert stuff is whatever to me bc i guess she’s a gnc lesbian so it’s like.. that was what they were called back then. if she feels it’s more succinct and fitting than terms nowadays, that’s fine, her choice. as a term it’s tied to homophobic ideology but i cant assume that’s her point in using it.
i personally don’t like the strap fixation online or in lesbian spaces, because it has made me & many other lesbians feel like weirdos tbh like. we feel like there’s sth wrong with us for NOT liking that but i guess she’s speaking from a diff perspective here, so that’s fine too.
i disagree with framing it as “butch/femme sex” & i dislike the assumption that there being a masc & a feminine woman within the same relationship means we’re having sex a certain way. it’s rly not like that and it sucks when ppl assume that butches can’t possibly enjoy reciprocal sex and only want to give instead of receive any sex acts. or, perhaps less damaging imo, that feminine women only want to receive and not give. it’s just… not the case. how we present to the world doesn’t say much about how we have sex.
the idea that not liking the fixation with strap that can be found in many spaces for women into women is tied to the idea that u need to “use your vagina (penetratively)” is also odd to me. there’s definitely lesbians who don’t enjoy receiving any penetration but enjoy receiving oral for example, or clit stimulation, or some form of rubbing like tribbing or scissoring or w/e else. idk why theres this assumption that it’s either u wear the strap or u get penetrated?? like. it’s not that rare for lesbians to not enjoy or want penetration, actually. maybe its rare to never want any form of penetration, but that’s also not that rare nor is it limited to butches??
but yeah if someone expresses only wanting sex in one way, to guilt trip them in any way or shame them in any way for not wanting to have sex the way YOU approve of is rapey and gross. she’s right about that.
idk why she’s acting like topping being “alien” to lesbians is normal tho…most of us enjoy reciprocal sex, meaning we are mostly vers. if a woman acted like topping is a totally weird thing to do, i reckon most women would not be compatible with her.
again rly hate the equating of female masculinity with being a stone top! she means stone butches, she should say that. it’s more common among butches, but it’s neither exclusive to butches to only want to have the type of sex she describes nor do all butches fit that standard either.
i’m sure what she describes exists but honestly the phenomena i’ve noticed more often is the opposite where people expect butches to not want to be penetrated or not want to have sex acts done onto them… i agree w her ppl who feel entitled to do that to butches are awful tho.
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sparknotes version here but when i actually wrote it it was beautiful and metaphorical and shit
this is set in america. undefined time has passed since the collapse of society due to climate change unsustainable system and nuclear warfare. humans now exist in small numbers, but they aint rly human no more. theyre mutated, skins of unnatural colours and four eyed etc something like that. most live in either small settlements or travel around in small groups.
the story is set in what used to be nyc. starts w a beautiful paragraph, describing this mutated deer drinking from a pond in a meadow, pans out to describing how in the background and ariund, nyc has largely become forested and taken over by nature, collapsed building entangeled in vines and giant trees etc. life continues but not as it was, its devastation but it has been reclaimed and it is beautiful
follows these two sisters, a younger and an older one. their parents died in either a hurricane or tornado or something else i dont remember. these kids after so long live in a cultural mindset different to our own and they largely dont even understand what happened in the past fully, but theyre trying to piece it together. the younger one is the one which throughout the story keeps coming up with theories from the remains that something horrible must have happened by these ppl called humans who they may or may not come from, kinda thinks they were responsible for it. the older sister on the other hand thinks theres no way a people which build such giant cities and other stuff could be so stupid as to destroy the planet
the journey follows them getting to nyc for a reason that i cant remember, maybe because theyre both kinda obsessed with trying to figure it all out, little anthropologists of the future ans anyway theyve got to keep looking for food and shelter. they get to nyc and que a series of sweet scenes of them exploring the city for the first time, its beautiful and sweet but also tragic. they have different views on it tho. they keep coming across things from thr past and keep having different interpretations of them, they get into a fight at some point over their very conflicting attitudes and understandings of the past and the world they live in. over how they are the way they are because they are mutated, over their parents deaths, over their struggles. the younger says any species which would live in such a concrete city would have been mad, so disconnected from nature, more proof, the older disagrees, tensions are rising but are mosrly calmed down and over it, when they notice the weather is changinf quickly. hurricane moving in, an unnaturally giant superstorm, acid rain gently starts and the winds picking up
they take shelter in a skyscraper. it keeps getting worse outside. the older is trying to comfort the youngest. they somehow find a tv which still has electricity, they turn it on and its still playing one of the last messages send out to humanity. talk about how the planet has been destroyed, the climate, the war, the resources, how the nuclear bombs will strike soon. the storn is raging outside worse and worse. the older syster finally breaks down. all her rage and fury comes. she tried so hard to have hope that these people of the past must surely be smarter, that they were victims of something they coulsnt control, she tried to look up to them. but she realizes that indeed theyre the ones that did this to the earth. she hugs her little sister tightly que u were right sobbing etc
anyway. they both end up dying in the hurricane, an unnaturally large hurricane, the leftover effects of the actions of humanity. they die holding esch other, bitter and knwoing the truth, in a skyscraper which collapses, the remains of an old civilization. they die, two innocent mutated kids, thousands of years into the future because of the failures of the past. they die like their parents did, by the hand of mistakes and atrocities which have left scars on the earth forever
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god i thought i was the only one w some of those opinions ??? esp jeonghan . also idk how 2 explain it but jeonghan also comes off as one of the most ‘masculine’ of the members ?? like blah blah i get it long hair and is visibly empathetic ! (11/10 prime traits for feminization according to like a billion people, truly what great reasoning :/) but idk how to explain it bc i cant rly explain how i see masculinity (and i feel like most ppl would disagree bc he’s not as buff as some of the others lmfao) but idk this doesn’t rly make much sense my brain is fried.
i see all these posts that are like "i judge carats based on how they treat seungkwan" "i judge carats based on how they treat dino" but i fr judge carats based on how they treat jeonghan bc some of yall have SHIT takes (not you anon i love you) but like cmon...
#like no one in svt is super masculine or feminine to me#but like the hyperfeminization of jeonghan in some people's minds#NEEDS to stop#looking at everyone who mourned his hair when he cut it off#rru.answers#anonymous
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im weirdly emo abt an ign interview and the "twitch makes an ow map" stream so let me throw my stream of consciousness here
alec mentioned in said interview that their plans to make new heroes includes a bigger effort to pull more existing characters from the lore, which is good
the map stream gave us a lot of cool insight into the actual tools used to build the game, and aaron rly felt like he was in his element (which is much better than him trying to imitate jeffs yule log stream)
but it all reminds me that the jeff era is well and truly over. and it had problems (tons and tons) but its also what made ow... ow. ow2 is still ow, but its not the same.
there was (i think) a kind of quirky charm to the spontaneous "thats a cool idea, lets put it in our game" that defined jeffs tenure. thats part of what made ow1 so charming (altho the community grew out of it).
ybarra (whomst i do not trust) also put out a press statement talking abt how blizzard has restructured since the 2021 crisis. even if i dont like him personally, i cant disagree w the notion to employ general franchise managers to steer their ips, determine/design roadmaps, and plan for new releases years in advance. a more consistent release schedule likely will help maintain players, attract-plus-retain talent, and improve morale. but it also means the days of whatever the ow team was cooking post-titan are p much done.
and i wanna specify those years were bad for a lot of workers. even if jeff and ow leadership were better than the rest of the old guard, there were likely still ppl who got hurt. we needed to move past this.
but its also just... idk if im saying it well, im just having weird contradictory feelings abt the whole thing.
i guess this rly is the time for ow2 to redefine itself. and thats not a bad thing. its just something that makes me a little sad bc i have such an emotional attachment to ow1. i love ow2, warts and all, and i think it will (mostly) improve w time. esp pve my beloved. but its just very different and i have Feelings abt that this week.
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today is 6/30/2024 i just wanna write up a log of the things that i've tried so far i guess
i feel like my chinese learning journey is kinda interesting bc . i'm more addicted to trying to innovate/revolutionize/optimize how to learn chinese more than actually learning chinese . and sure some of that could be attributed to instant gratification or wtvr, but also i am also rly addicted to trying to solve physics-esque/mathy problems and that's just what my brain is inclined towards doing, like if it recognizes smth as mathy and nonoptimal then it'll compulsively search for a solution lol . usually this activity doesnt actually turn out to be super productive (and a lot of the time it can seem like im just Wildly Overcomplicating things, and there's definitely an argument for that, yes) but i believe it's at least Somewhattt useful + at least i enjoy the rush (sometimes) + maybe one day ill finally get some Good idea and then ill make millions !!! or maybe that is just what i tell myself to cope . Lmao . anyway.
chinese course at brown
hellochinese
made the whole diagram thing (i was so anal abt this (and esp its application to music) and eventually changed opinion to yeah sure it was correct but not a good way to approach learning bc kids arent just magical sponges but instead the reason that they learn quickly is bc 24/7 private tutor (their mother) + fast iteration)
anki spoonfed chinese too hard
may 23 night - may 24 day
call w regan, she inspired me to just go thru my chinese textbook bc she made me think damn maybe i should just try being normal for once
went thru half of chinese textbook
felt like i wasnt rly learning well past lesson 5 (and lessons 1-5 were mostly review anyway)
may 24-25 ish
found lazychinese.com comprehensible input
found other CI people existed
searched through a Lot, couldnt find much at my level, either way too easy for total beginner or too hard nothing to grasp onto or just no variety of sentence structures
may 25 night
salena sent me the gay guy i could sorta understand him, like i could latch on to smth
coded the thing
went over the video w transcript for a day or two
may 26 day
saw the baby in pool
may 26 night
watched n followed funny easy chinese ig/tiktok accts
may 26/27
tried peppa pig / cartoons / stories on yt / etc, still too hard
may27
up until now, really mostly input little output
peppa pig longest sentence
turned on chinese keyboard
chatgpt convo
texting w friends
wow im not bad
hearing is impt, then pure imitating, then say it while pinyin, then understand
u will not see gains intra-day 1 bc gains r slow obv u need multiple days etc wtvr 2 bc gains happen during Sleep (ie After the learning session, Not During)(analogy to gym, u dont get stronger inside of one session, ur muscle builds up After the session is done)(i notice improvement after one or two days)
do many short sessions, but also include some long sessions
imitating a sentence/paragraph whole-part-whole . listen to the whole thing, then split into parts, then put the parts together . like learning a piano piece . (also this is fractal - if too big, split up)
around this time i tried brute forcing comprehensible input via lazychinese.com, but found it too slow/unoptimal/wtvr
flirting w krashen's hypothesis and i see so many success stories abt krashen (e.g. https://www.reddit.com/r/languagelearning/comments/wetbjo/i_learned_english_through_magic_and_input_krashen/)
this was interesting too, i forgot what i got out of it but it was interesting (https://www.reddit.com/r/languagelearning/comments/r9g1s3/i_immersed_in_spanish_for_900_hours_without_any/)
eventually i disagree w krashen and think he's stupid bc my brother cant speak tagalog
opinion abt tutors
also found out that it lines up with more modern language acquisition theories and critiques of krashen: swain's comprehensible output + dekeyser’s skill building
hypothesis abt memorizing stories might be better than flashcards
like a memory palace but it's stories not palaces
du chinese analysis failed (unique word density starts at 12% then goes to 6%)
i think about here i stopped being so anal about the whole ... diagram that was rooted in kids being sponges
i dont hate language classes as much
trying to brute force grammar
current hypothesis/method:
trying to brute force grammar
same hypothesis abt memorizing stories to learn vocab, but now using AI generated stories (unique word density starts at 32% then goes to 20%. much better!)
build a huge foundation (learn lots of textbook grammar and vocab) (get lots of clay), then iron it out (practice listening/speaking/reading/writing/wtvr to acquire more natural idiomatic expressions and also just increase your speed/skill etc etc) (roll the clay)
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also to talk abt bi kendall cus i Want To i kind of disagree w the take that ken can convince himself hes straight & convince himself his thing with stewy (in kenstewy world) is straight cus i think hes so hyper aware of his masculinity bc of logan and by extension his sexuality that the minute he like first Engaged in anything gay or even had gay thoughts that he was like Its So Over. I Might As Well Just Die. i think hes so hyper aware when hes doing gay shit theres no trying to Convince himself otherwise (keyword is convince). i think there is a active refusal to label and to a lesser degree acknowledge his sexuality. the only way he stays together knowing he sometimes Is Gay is by refusing to admit or acknowledge it out loud. so theres no real actual convincing himself hes straight going on there. thats just how i think abt it. but nothing is that easy either i think its rly messy and complicated too. as in i do agree he calls himself straight & will fight to hell and back to convince people hes straight even when he knows hes not. and i dont think hed ever call himself bisexual bc thats a level of Realness and Acknowledgment i just cant imagine from him. & he would never treat his relationship with stewy as a serious romantic endeavor nor ever label it as such even if they did "date" bc its again a level of Realness and Acknowledgment that kendall would rather Die than reach. idk. anyway. Guy who writes a paragraph about fictional character's sexuality
#text#2 me hes the type of guy to say hes straight unless hes actively participating in something gay#ALSO this is going off the idea he and stew were FUCKING or giving each other handy jays or whatever#i have separate thoughts for more canon accurate kendall.#also sry if this is jumbled i ltierally dont care im not trying to write a essay . Good Day
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actually fuck it i have more to say
it feels like the pop discourse is perpetually stuck at thinking of gender as a spectrum (were not yet ready for the term "social construct" ig) n i guess id be *mostly* ok with it, if it followed its own logic to the conclusion that if gender is a spectrum then so is sexuality, and the distinction between lesbian and bi doesnt actutally matter bc it cant be pinned down in a meaningful way.
but it always stumbles w this. i think its probably bc of the current dominance of standpoint epistemology in queer communities - an understandable reaction to being talked over abt ur own experiences - "listen to marginalized ppl" is a nice slogan and its hard to argue against. but it doesnt hold up in reality where experiences overlap and theres reactionary voices to be found among societys very most marginalized (which is why some of us moved on to intersectionality as a better framework but the pop discourse hasnt rly caught up).
anyway this flaw in standpoint epistemology leads to a lot of debate over "well is this person *really* this marginalized category if their experiences disagree w mine or are they something else". it makes ppl protective over identities bc they think their voice will be diluted. and w the way listeners interpret "listen to marginalized ppl it can amplify those reactionary voices which id argue is part of why we hear so much from t/erfs and other exclusionists
rly cool seeing this big backlash against someone who has objectively done a good thing bc its identity doesnt fit neatly into a box. rly validates my decision never talk about myself on social media
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shhhh hes reflecting
silly little doodle i made after going thru it :p
#aph portugal#hws portugal#hetalia#axis powers ヘタリア#also after seeing a reddit post emphasizing how foreigners kind of stereotype portuguese ppl to be melancholic spaniards#cant disagree w that rly#also i draw his hair rly long n loose like ALWAYS#pls deal w my wild long loose hair port agenda#it isnt gonna change anytime soon#axis powers hetalia
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