#canon grievous is a hero

[generalgrievousherothefactualcw]

You're slower than Jar-Jar Binks if you think Grievous, a hero fighting for freedom from a tyrannical Republic is a "villain".

Grievous is a hero and it's a fact!

[bluemoonscape]

No no listennnn it’s the way Obi-Wan drags out the first ‘a’ in Anakin’s name. It’s the way everyone else ignores the hyphen in Obi-Wan’s name and runs it all together but Anakin pronounces every syllable slowly and clearly. It’s how Anakin was the only constant in Obi-Wan’s life from the time Qui-Gon died, how he threw all of his energy into keeping Anakin safe and sheltered, because he’d already seen too many horrors as a slave. It’s about how Anakin went to Obi-Wan’s room every night for a year because he was afraid he would disappear like Qui-Gon and his mom, and Obi-Wan lost sleep because he doesn’t know how to swim. It’s how Anakin grumbled and complained about Obi-Wan’s teaching to others because his feelings were so muddled and confused and yet he would die for him in a heartbeat and thrived on his approval. How Anakin, hours after losing his mom horrifically and suddenly, threw himself into a battle with Count Dooku on Geonosis and lost his arm to save Obi-Wan because he couldn’t lose him too. How Obi-Wan tried to steer Anakin from attachment but in the process became irrevocably attached himself, admitting multiple times to loving Anakin, passing down the gift his own Master gave him for his birthday years ago that meant nothing to Obi-Wan when he got it but meant everything to Anakin because it was from Obi-Wan, holding onto Anakin’s lightsaber and cloak when all else of him was lost, taking care of his children because they were living pieces of him. It’s that they called each other and asked after the other constantly when they’re apart during the Clone Wars. It’s that Ahsoka was technically Anakin’s Padawan but they thought of her as theirs and she called them her parents to others. It’s the little things like Anakin modifying Obi-Wan’s R4 droid to look like his own R2 unit. It’s the big things like them being able to sense one another from lightyears away even after Anakin turns. It’s Obi-Wan willfully turning a blind eye to Anakin’s violations of the code because he wanted him to be happy more than he wanted him to be a good Jedi. Anakin still referring to him as “Master” even after their apprenticeship is over, to their last battle; Anakin wishing that Obi-Wan would stay with him in his time of need rather than go to fight General Grievous and end the war; that they were the greatest Jedi to live, at the end of the age of heroes, “the best for last” and they were so insanely, disgustingly, beyond attached despite the Code’s teachings on what made a Jedi good, and they were the best. They were the best because they were together. Because they were Kenobi and Skywalker and that became one name, the name of the Open Circle Fleet, name of the greatest duo the Jedi had ever seen. I consider almost nothing from the sequel trilogy canon EXCEPT for the force dyad because you can’t tell me they weren’t one and never even knew because that was just how they were. They just figured they matched each other’s freak too hard. That’s just them.

[charmwasjess]

I think I heard somewhere that George created Dooku and Grievous to reflect/foreshadow two aspects of Vader (gentleman politician villain and cyborg killer). What do you think of the relationship between Dooku and Grievous?

It changes a bit in canon I think, Dooku now has less a direct hand in his origin story.

Hell, Dooku changed a lot in canon. I’m glad he’s less a human supremacist now.

Yessss, Geode, coming in with the fun ask!!!! :D 

I’ve read arguments that Maul fits into this as well to complete the whole “the prequel villains all represent pieces of Vader.” Almost as avatars for RotS Anakin’s past, present, and future. Maul is the angry enslaved boy, Dooku is the fallen Jedi/former hero who betrays everyone he loves, Grievous is the coldblooded cyborg killer who lives only to destroy. 

I sure am grateful that we lost the tacked-on space racism (spacism) for Dooku, but I’ve felt that current canon does miss some of the prior rich characterization we got for Sith-era Dooku, as opposed to how much they’ve explored Jedi Dooku. And of course, that Jedi-era stuff is invaluable to me because I write mainly in that era (and I too-well remember a time in fandom when writing Dooku as having once been a good Jedi was considered outright OOC - whew, you should see some of the hate comments I got!) but I miss the Sithly depth. The Clones Wars 2008 in particular drives me crazy (affectionate) because it’s so fucking good, there’s so much beautiful subtext and tension to some of Dooku’s plotlines: untold stories and fascinating opportunities. I think a richer version of Dooku as a character was fully present in the TCW writer’s minds, it just got deprioritized to tell other character’s stories, so you just see the tantalizing shadow of it lingering in small details. 

Grievous is interesting as he’s almost a physical manifestation of what the war is intended to do to the Jedi Order. He’s a literal Jedi blender. A machine intended to break both their physical bodies as well as weaponize and pervert the ideals held sacred to the Jedi, that of life and choice and light and even lightsabers, these ceremonial objects with huge cultural significance to the Jedi which they spend their whole life training with. And yet, Grievous, without any holy connection to the Force, can pick up Lightsabers for Dummies ghostwritten by CD, spin his arms, and win. And win, and win, and win. 

And I think it’s interesting how Dooku’s participation in his training or origins gives the perception that Dooku understood this and did it deliberately. It really speaks to how far Dooku’s own soul has fallen, particularly since lightsabers and Makashi seem to be one part of his Jedi life that Dooku genuinely still values and finds sacred. In that way, like so much else, Grievous seems almost designed to be an act of psychic self harm for Dooku. (And that’s before you get into Legends and Dooku giving Grievous literally Sifo-Dyas’s blood and lightsaber.) 

There’s a tremendous scene in the EU book Labyrinth of Evil where Dooku shows Grievous a recording of Anakin and Obi-Wan fighting well together and just… gushes over it, genuinely happy and interested with their lightsaber development and expecting Grievous to take a lesson from this, while Grievous is like just sooo bored and wishing the Count would get to his point so he can leave. His own monster doesn’t want to talk to him about his dumb hobbies. It really epitomizes the way Dooku had built himself this cage for his own loneliness, constructed out of everything he used to love. 

Bonus Round

Narratively, in current canon, I’m glad we swapped in “Dooku gives Sifo-Dyas a Jedi funeral” instead of the EU version: “Dooku keeps Sifo’s corpse in a snow white style coffin in his basement to monologue most divorcedly at and then later stick all his blood in Grievous.” 

But Warren Fu being so proud of his design being chosen as the movie version for Grievous that he snuck his own face on Sifo-Dyas’s first visual appearance in that comic and made him Grievous’s blood donor is so fucking funny. I follow him on other platform and his birthday message to George Lucas this year was just a little clip he’d made of himself and George in front of his beautiful Grievous concept art. He's so proud still, almost 25 years later.

[marvelstars]

I usually like to talk about star wars in general and I don´t like to demonize any character be it one of my faves or not but tbh some fan takes really make me mad, takes like:

"Ahsoka wasn´t being fair in her judgment of the Order"

I am like "The Jedi Council, Obi-Wan and Plo Koon included" sentenced her to face a military trial that most definitely was going to end in her execution.

Again, a 16 year old whose only support/family/people she knew in her life abandoned her to be executed by the goverment she fought for three years as a child soldier.

Sorry but considering this, any take she has on the Order, the obvious love she still has for Jedi´s ways, people and life but also the criticism is completely valid on her part and she should say it, in fact I believe she was quite calm in her reaction considering all of that.

Same with her warm dedication to Anakin´s memory as her "older brother" you know given he was the ONLY ONE who thought about getting her a lawyer and solve the mystery to keep her from being executed by their own government, he was her master and treated her like actual family and didn´t break his links with her after the Order expelled her on circunstancial evidence or thought she was wrong for leaving after all of that like Obi-Wan did.

There´s Jedi unreasonable hate and there is reasonable, based in the story criticism and this is part of it.

Another fandom take that really gets on my nerves is:

Anakin was a child problem for loving his Mom, his Mom was like a Jedi and understood she had to "let go of him"

I am like: Shmi was a literal slave whose only way to keep Anakin from sharing the same fate as her was to give him up to a bunch of strangers, Shmi didn´t know anything about the Jedi but knew being free was better for Anakin than being a slave.

Anakin loving his mother and missing her isn´t attachment, it´s normal for a 9 year old to miss his mother, he also had a right to be mad with the republic for allowing slavery out of convenience and with the Jedi for supporting the republic on this instance because it wasn´t jedi bussines.

"Anakin was an incompetent leader"

Anakin was one of the best Jedi leaders out there in the clone wars, that´s why He and Obi-Wan got the harder missions dealing with Grievous, who killed a lot of Jedi or Count Dooku who also killed Jedi.

He got the moniker "hero without fear" out of the sheer victories he got for the republic and the many planets he helped free from separatist attacks, he also established training for what would become the first cells of the rebel alliance.

He wasn´t just a competent leader, he was a brilliant general, recognized by his enemies and friends alike.

"The clones are not a slave army"

The Clones were purchased with republic credits by a Jedi Master, that makes both the Republic and the Jedi Order their owners, this is canon in Attack of the Clones and in the Clone wars.

They dont get a salary because they are merchandise, property of the republic and the Jedi Order.

The Jedi Order didn´t know about the purchase but the fact they didn´t say anything post fact about the clones being slaves doesn´t give them a good look as "peace keepers to the galaxy" they were more, in this instance, supporters of the status quo.

And no, nothing of this makes valid Order 66, the Jedi Order didn´t deserve to be anhiliated for all of this but the Jedi Order definitely were a flawed organization made up of people with virtues and flaws who unfortunately supported blindly a corrupt system. The Republic was the mother of the Empire after all.

I feel like sharing some of my problems with fandom takes, rant over :)

[thrawn-created-reylo]

Star Wars: Thread Of Fate (Fanfic)

Summary:

"Four months into the Clone Wars, Jedi Knight Shika Jarrend finds herself face-to-face with the new fearsome leader of the Separatist Droid Army: General Grievous. Determined to bring the cyborg to justice, the Jedi High Council assigns Shika to Republic Intelligence, placing their knight behind enemy lines and unknowingly weaving her thread into the grand tapestry of the Sith."

-------------------------------------------------------

-Rating: T+

-Tags: Slight canon divergence, "Fix-it fic" but its fixing Grievous' lore, written like Clone Wars (2008) episodes, Hero/Villain, Enemies to lovers, slow-burn, Beauty and the Beast tropes.

-Warnings: Contains violence, warfare, torture, mention of slavery, ect. Expected content warnings for Star Wars apply throughout the fic.

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Read the first three chapters NOW on Ao3!

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[kroganloveinterest]

Getting to know your mutuals

tagged by @illusivesoul thanks so much for tagging me!!!

I'll tag @baede-6 @spaydekingcayde @silverforestglove @crystariumrose @heywizards @herrshepard but don't feel any obligation to fill it out or anything. Also if you've already been tagged in this or completed it, I apologize for the extra tag!! And please still fill this out even if I didn't tag you! You can still tag me if you do. :3

(questions under the cut)

What's the origin of your blog's title?

It's a quote by the Spider from the Scavenger's Fate loretab in Destiny 2.

Favorite Fandoms: I'm listing these by what I personally enjoy engaging with, rather than what the fandom space in general is like. With that said, Destiny, Pokemon, My Hero Academia, Mass Effect, and The Elder Scrolls are probably my top 5.

OTP(s) + shipname: I really only have one technically, which is Thel 'Vadam and Rtas 'Vadum from the Halo series. I believe in them so passionately...even if I no longer am the ThelRtas blogging giant I used to be years ago on here lmao.

special mention to all my indulgent oc/canon ships too naturally.

Favorite color: I really like blues!

Favorite game: Of all time? Pokemon Crystal probably. First Pokemon game to have the option to play as a girl, the Western release date was on my birthday, and Johto/gen 2 is my favorite....it was written in the stars ngl.

Song stuck in your head: For once, there isn't a song looping through my mind at the moment.

Weirdest habit/trait? Only thing I can really think of is that I tend to idly pick at the skin of my fingertips semi-often. Hard habit to break so far.

Hobbies: Video games and making gifs. Seems sad that I can't really think of anything else at the moment. They're just always my main go-to for an enjoyable time killer.

If you work, what's your profession? Unemployed atm.

If you could have any job you wish what would it be? I always wanted to be a marine biologist or some aquatic science/biology job since high school, but that's no longer an option.

Something you're good at: Nothing comes to mind.

Something you're bad at: Writing.

Something you excel at: Nothing comes to mind.

Something you love: Beefy fictional characters keep me going ngl.

Something you could talk about for hours without off the cuff: Good question, not in a self-deprecating way, but in a "I genuinely don't think I have anything I'd be able to talk for hours about" lmao.

Something you hate: Moths, tbh. I very much respect them and don't go out of my way to kill them or anything, but god do I simply not like them fluttering about near me.

Something you collect: Nothing now, but I used to collect General Grievous figures and Godzilla figures too so I have a modest sized collection of both.

Something you forget: To take my medication. Literally still forget about it even with a daily phone reminder plastered on the lock screen.

What's your love language? Not sure.

Favorite movie/show: Movie I'd say 2004 Van Helsing, and for TV show I'd say Monk.

Favorite food: Steak.

Favorite animal: Crocodilians. Sharks, dogs, sloths, and elephants are also up there.

Are you musical? Not anymore, used to play the flute for 6 years in grade school though. I miss it. :C

What were you like as a child? Unhappy, repressing trauma and near constant traumatic experiences, extremely withdrawn and shy, really low self-esteem, undiagnosed anxiety/depression, etc....but now I do what I can to take care of that little kid still inside me to this day, rip.

Favorite subject at school? Math, believe it or not! It just always made sense to me and that was comforting. I always liked my science classes as well, but math for sure was always my favorite.

Least favorite subject? I loathed English and History classes because I thought they were so boring, honestly. There's definitely a "no wonder you suck at writing and can't even discuss media in a meaningful way" jab opportunity there, but that's honestly just what my preferences were back then.

What's your best character trait? Not sure.

What's your worst character trait? Also not sure.

If you could change any detail of your day right now what would it be? To not have all my close friendships be eroded away to nothing so now I feel like I don't have that support system like I thought I did? That's what's been killing my mental health lately anyway lmao.

If you could travel in time who would you like to meet? A dinosaur.

Recommend one of your favorite fanfics I'll rec @intrepiddreamx 's Destiny 2 fic Diplomatic Ties any day, any time. 😌 (please mind the rating if necessary)

[lizzle-the-edu-nerd]

One of my favorite things about Monoma Neito fans is that they understand the ludicrous nature of MHA because our boy embodies the extreme.

Does anyone realistically bend over into a bridge when laughing?

Of course not... But Monoma does.

Would someone still be standing so quickly after being karate chopped, hit with a baseball bat, or otherwise pummeled by their friends on a daily basis? Much less call them "friends"?

NO! But Monoma can and will.

So I thank you all for not filling my feed with the hilariously ridiculous attempts at legitimately calling out "human rights violations" on the FICTIONAL hero school that trains MINORS to push themselves to the brink of GRIEVOUS BODILY HARM, as well as inflict it on others, in a SHONEN ANIME.

It's totally cool to write your non-canon fic.

Go on with your bad self!

But it's just that, non-canon, my homies.

Shout out to those that love the extremes!

[the-gay-prometheus]

Hear me out. Long theory time, probably (definitely) not super canon. This theory is based on the understanding that Bill's home dimension is heavily based on the novella (or at least one of the two films based on it), Flatland.

In Flatland, discussing (or even hearing discussion about) a "third dimension" is such a grievous breech of the law that anyone doing so could be imprisoned, or worse, executed. We know that in Bill's canon home reality, it is also illegal to discuss the third dimension. So here, have this fun little theory.

Within the canon of Flatland, whether you were imprisoned or executed for discussing the third dimension was based on class. Class is based on number of sides, so triangles are considered the lowest class. In Flatland, anything above a triangle would be imprisoned. I'm sure you can guess what that meant for triangles.

Now, Bill's parents are lucky. From what we've seen, they may be equilateral triangles like Bill himself. They're still below squares in class, but they're higher up than other triangles (because the more equal your sides the higher up you are in society). In Flatland, they would've been merchants - potentially even important or wealthy merchants, given their somewhat elite taste in fashion (top hat, bow tie). So of all other triangles, they might be given a bit more grace.

When their son starts talking about a third dimension, they are warned that he needs to be shut up, or all three of them will be executed. They take him to a doctor to try to stop him from having these 'visions of a third dimension.' The doctor tries to chemically blind him (supposedly canon, I forget where we found this out from) - it's not just visions, it's all he can see, so best to make it so he can't see at all. Bill obviously is resistant to this treatment, and is adamant that the third dimension is out there. His parents at this point know there's no stopping him. It's all over for them.

The execution date is set. Of course it will be public, the rest of Flatland always needs to see the fate of those who dare to speak of the third dimension. Meanwhile, Bill is thinking as hard as he can about what he can do. If he could just prove to everyone that the third dimension exists, then they wouldn't be able to go through with the execution. He could save his parents, he could save himself, he could save any other who believes in a third dimension or can see the third dimension who would otherwise be executed or imprisoned for their beliefs or for what they can see. If everyone saw the third dimension all at the same time, then nobody could be executed or imprisoned for it.

Showtime. As his parents are being presented to the crowd before him, he jumps into action. He'll show them. He'll show them all. He'll save everyone. He'll be a hero. And everyone will know it.

Obviously, it doesn't go as planned. Instead of saving everyone, everyone he knew and loved - including his parents who he was desperately trying to save - is brutally killed by his actions. The devastation is too much for him to bear - he's still a child, after all. In the midst of the destruction, his traumatized mind tries to rewrite the memory.

He freed his parents. He freed everyone. He's a hero. Everyone is safe. Everyone is totally ok.

He picks up his father's hat and his mother's bow, and puts them on himself, and stares into the hole he tore in the multiverse where his dimension used to be.

[just-prime]

8 : Oh so boring

The horrifying MCU-ification of the Star Wars universe is in horrific display as 8 episodes lead nowhere but setup.

Before I get to everything else, I do want to say, Ray Stevenson's passing is a true tragedy, and I appreciate the love and care he clearly put into his character. He was the only compelling one, and I shudder to think of how Disney will probably heartlessly recast.

Now, on to the episode

Well, all the leaks that said it was zombies were right, to the surprise of no one. This is the MCU now, we need something more than just a fuck ton of stormtroopers to blow through, we need an undead CGI army.

First off : The Jedi, The Witch, and The Warlord...FUCK OFF FILONI. YOU ARE NOT CUTE.

The show opens with the attempt to lull Legends fans back into a Sion reference for no reason. Also, Thrawn's super baggy pants seem unnecessary, especially since the design in Rebels always has him in perfectly tailored clothes. Nothing during his decade abroad that would have cause the pants to change that drastically, so it just feels like an unnecessary change that is not an attractive look :(

Morgan's power ups make no sense, and as soon as she got them she was going to die. Her eyes had me making a half dozen Supernatural jokes for obvious reasons. The whole "Blade of Talzin" thing is also very dumb given the fact that I assume Mother Talzin would have used every weapon in her arsenal to stop Grievous, and I would think a lightsaber proof sword is on that list.

The entire "Ezra makes himself a new lightsaber" scene filled me rage for a few reasons.

A) Ezra literally just turned down Sabine's offer of the lightsaber for the martial arts force powers which we never see him use again.

B) Huyang knowing about Caleb and Kanan being the same person feels kinda weird to me to be perfectly honest.

C) Ezra's new lightsaber is boring. Full stop. This is the kid who built a gun into his first one, it makes no sense that he'd make one that looks this mediocre.

D) All of Sabine's family dying horrible deaths on Mandalore has always struck me as a cop out. It's just lazy writing to isolate Sabine.

The Stakes

Spoiler alert : THERE ARE NONE

We knew this was going to end in a cliffhanger for a while now, which means none of the main cast was going to die. Morgan has always been a means to an end for Thrawn, not that her loyalty was ever explain...But none of our heroes were gonna bite it (regardless of how I hoped for Huyang to explode) so there were no stakes. Thrawn had to escape, despite the fact that he is weirdly shaken, so he does. Ezra had to get home, so he does. Sabine and Ahsoka are now trapped on some stupid Mortis world??? Okay, pause, I'm getting ahead of myself here...because before that...

Sabine has the Force now

My deepest condolences to anyone who is finding this out from me, but Sabine is offically confirmed and shown to be Force sensitive. Yes it is dumb. Yes it makes no sense. Yes this is something we all saw being foreshadowed from day one, unfortunately. Especially with the playing down of her Mandalorian-ness (she's constantly losing her helmet, her gun accuracy has utterly gone, she barely uses her gauntlets, etc etc) it was obvious that Filoni wanted to do with her, what he was too cowardly to do with Grogu.

Other miscellaneous shit

It turns out that Ahsoka's shuttle is Jedi era...which makes no fucking sense.

The nightsisters being totally on board with the Empire feels like their ability to tell what's going on in the main universe might be a bit sketchy do to the fact that they missed that the guy in charge of the Empire is the one who ordered Dathomir razzed.

100% of the problems that the gang run into would have been solved if Sabine had a fucking jetpack

They pull the "Thrawn knew Anakin" card out of nowhere in the dumbest possible way, which really just goes to show how much FIloni hates the new canon Thrawn books.

Chopper recognizes Ezra (which was rather cute) before Hera does, because he decides to show up on a New Republic cruiser in full Thrawn stormtrooper garb. Also we don't even get a hug between Hera and Ezra.

Shin (because she exists, remember?) who is also stranded now, goes and appears to be taking over the bandit camp we saw earlier. Have no idea where they are taking that...but honestly, good for Shin doing something for her, this seems like a selfcare move.

Now, the ending...Fucking Mortis

So, the final shot we get of Baylan, he is standing on a giant statue of The Father (there is a statue of The Son, and a destroyed statue of The Daughter) pointing out towards something on the horizon.

Back at the hermit crab people camp, Ahsoka and Sabine (and fucking Anakin's ghost, because that's right people, instead of hanging out with his son, Anakin has been just hovering over Ahsoka this whole time apparently) here this chirping, and it's a fucking creepy hyper realistic CGI Morai.

So yeah, that's clearly how all of the trapped characters are going to get off this planet...the World between Worlds. Now, this brings up a fuck ton more questions...Chief of all being how did Ezra not use this to escape years ago???

And I get that Mortis is not everybody's favorite Clone Wars arc. Which is fair. I don't hate it, but I never loved it, and Filoni dragging in the dumbest piece of Force lore that he created is infuriating. ESPECIALLY with this being so obviously aimed at those who've not watched Clone Wars or Rebels. I'm curious to see how much he immediately recons about it, given that it's been his go-to move since before even Mando s3...

I fear they're going to do something like "Bayan is The Father, Ahsoka is The Daughter, and Shin and Sabine have to fight over being The Son" or some stupid bullshit like that.

I'm glad this is the last Filoni property we're getting for a while, since I'm pretty sure he's not involved with Skeleton Crew at all writing-wise.

I am just so happy it's over!

In the meantime, if you are as annoyed at Filoni as I am, spite him by reading the new canon Thrawn books!!! They are really fantastic and give Thrawn a lot of facinating depth, along with having an incredible cast of side characters.

For those of you who are new or just finding me because of my Ahsoka rants, please stick around!!! I'm sure I will be having other annoyed Ahsoka thoughts in the weeks to come as I think back about the full series and about just everything that it's fucked up. Feel free to pop into my ask box if you're curious about my other Star Wars related opinions, I'm more than happy to answer, though know that for the majority of the recent shows, I do not look fondly.

But if you are looking for some vindication on not enjoying recent Star Wars things, then this is the blog for you!!!

[alistair-blackwood]

Bloodweave Fic Recs (01/21/24)

[banging ladle against pot] Come get y'alls soup!

Previous fic recs here, here, and here!

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skin deep by howeverlong (G, 800+ w || Hurt/Comfort, bonding over covering up scars) Astarion pouts. “Why, Gale,” he simpers. “You're normally so accommodating. What if I actually came to ask you something?” / Gale gathers himself together. “Well. What can I help you with, then?” / “Oh, I didn't,” says Astarion. “But what if I had?”

Some Culinary Advice by Asidian (G, 1k+ w || Pre-Relationship, Cooking, Fluff) The air smells fresh and vibrant, resplendent with the scent of growing things, and wood smoke, and – Gale pauses in his reverie. Sniffs at the air, delicately. Burning soup. It smells quite a lot like burning soup.

At Arm’s Length by varsicles (T, 1k+ w || Pre-Relationship, Canon Typical Violence) Astarion is a puzzle that Gale is determined to unlock. It’s unfortunate that one of the keys is his own grievous bodily injury.

All-Consuming by bloodweaving (shipwreckblue) (T, 2k+ w || Pre-Relationship, Chronic Pain) He can’t really call it hunger, is the thing. What the Netherese Orb does to him is something entirely different.

Ante Up by LuckofTymora (FelixFelicis) (M, 1k+ w || Established Relationship, Non-Explicit Sex, Fluff) The lads get up to a bit of gambling at Elfsong Tavern and turn it into a competition. Neither one particularly likes to lose. Pillow fighting ensues. Also they are in love.

The Inconstant Moon by FridayMorning (M, 4k+ w || Hurt/Comfort, Developing Relationship, Angst with a Happy Ending, Post-Canon) “You’re going away. Someplace I can’t follow.” / Astarion blinks. Remembers the body beneath him. Feels the palm cupping his cheek. They had not even gotten to the good part. They had not gotten to the good part again since reaching it on Astarion’s grave. How many moons ago was that?

Sigils by Cowboyselkie (M, 8k+ w WIP || Alternate Universe - Historical, 1890s, Angst, Gothic Horror) “My previous clientele are usually more particular in what it is they want protection from, you see.” / “I do,” said Astarion, his voice trailing thin. He was quiet for a moment. “Vampires.” / “Pardon?” / “That’s what I seek protection from,” he said, more clearly. “I want my home to be safe from vampires.”

Deo volente by cyranonic (M, 9k+ w WIP || Post-Canon, Angst, Slow Burn, Implied/Referenced Torture) The villains are defeated. The heroes claim their victory. Astarion sinks down to exactly where he started. Gale plots his apotheosis. Somehow, they meet in the middle.

Missing Piece by thealphaaxolotl (M, 10k+ w || Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Torture) Astarion was moving before Tav could respond. In a second, he was across the room, pinning Gale to the wall with a knife to his throat. “What,” he said, lips curling into a snarl. “Have you done with him?” / Or, Astarion doesn't realize he has feelings for Gale until the wizard is taken by Orin.

The Season by Linnetagain (M, 59k+ w WIP || Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Dancing on Ice AU, Ice Skating, Slow Burn, Enemies to Lovers) In which Astarion is an ex-olympic figure skater and Gale is a famous musician. They get paired together as Dancing on Ice's first ever same sex couple. Shenanigans ensue.

Untouched And I Want You So Much by Lunarwench (E, 2k+ w || Body Worship, Control Issues, Predetermined Boundaries) This is about Astarion being in control. Not so much being in control of Gale, but being in control of what happens to his own body. In control of how and when his body is consumed, if he allows it at all. After so long with no bodily autonomy, no say in how he was used, no say in his pleasure or pain, sometimes Astarion needs to remind himself that the only person in control of his body now is himself. Or; Astarion works through some issues, Gale is there to help.

a delicacy of undeath by shroomonabroom (E, 3k+ w || Ritual Cannibalism, Angst, Dead Dove) Gale finds an alternative cure to vampirism: a spawn needs to kill and then consume their Master’s heart.

squirm by TheEarlGreyAlpha (E, 3k+ w || PWP, Inappropriate Use of Evard's Black Tentacles) “Well, good to know.” He held out an expectant hand, and waited for Gale to return the amulet to him. But when the wizard finally stopped his preening and noticed, he was clearly in no rush to hand it back.

Beg by Salazar101 (E, 4k+ w || Boot Worship, Hair-pulling, Begging) Astarion has what Gale needs to stabilize his orb. He just wants him to beg for it, is that too much to ask?

[smut-wars-exchange]

Masterpost | Ask | Rules | AO3 | 2024 Tagset | Dreamwidth | Discord

Nomination Queries #2

If you nominated any of the following noms, please contact us as soon as possible. You can reply to this post, send us an ask (ideal if you wish to remain anonymous), leave a comment on this post on dreamwidth or send us an email at smutwars@proton.me.

With no response from the nominators, changes will be effective on June 1, once the tag set is closed.

Alek | Darth Malak/Revan; Alek | Darth Malak/Female Revan

Nominator, please edit to either Alek or Darth Malak for the first character. Concerning Revan, we do not accept Revan without a gender modifier. Please add Any Gender or a gender of your choice. Unless we hear back from you: the mod team will accept these nominations as Darth Malak/Female Revan and Darth Malak/Any Gender Revan.

Female Jedi Knight | Hero of Tython/Lord Scourge; Nonbinary Jedi Knight/Lord Scourge

Nominator, if you want to nominate the specific Hero of Tython character, please edit to Female Hero of Tython and Nonbinary Hero of Tython. If you want to nominate an original character, please nominate Original Nonbinary Jedi Character. Unless we hear back from you: the mod team will accept these nominations as Female Hero of Tython/Lord Scourge and Nonbinary Hero of Tython/Lord Scourge.

Original female clone character/original female character; Original clone character/original female character

Nominators, we do not accept Original Characters if they are not paired with at least one canon Star Wars character. Please add at least one canon Star Wars character, such as Leia Organa/Original Female Clone Character/Original Female Character. Unless we hear back from you: the mod team will reject the tags.

Commander Fox/Senate guard

Nominator, did you mean The Senate Guard as the group within the Coruscant Security Force, the Coruscant Guard as the corps under Fox's command, or an Original Senate Guard? Unless we hear back from you: the mod team will approve the tag as Commander Fox/The Senate Guard Security Force to avoid confusion.

The Bad Batch/Female Reader

Nominator, who do you include in the Bad Batch? Do you include Omega? Do you include Crosshair? In this instance, the group might lead to confusion. Unless we hear back from you: the mod team will approve the tag as Crosshair/Echo/Hunter/Omega/Tech/Wrecker/Female Reader.

Original Female Character(s)/Original Female Character(s); Original Female Character(s)/Original Male Character(s); Original Male Character/Original Male Character

Nominators, we do not accept Original Characters if they are not paired with at least one canon Star Wars character. Please add at least one canon Star Wars character, such as Finn/Original Female Character(s)/Original Male Character(s). Unless we hear back from you: the mod team will reject the tags.

Ships including clones with their designations, such as RC-1207 | Delta-07 | Sev/RC-3222 | Atin Skirata/RC-8015 | Fi Skirata and Padmé Amidala/CT-7567 | Rex

Nominators: as stated in the rules, please take the designations away. Nominate Rex instead of CT-7567 | Rex, Sev instead of RC-1207 | Delta-07 | Sev, etc.

Ships including (disambiguations), such as Omega (Star Wars: The Bad Batch)/Hera Syndulla and The Armorer (The Mandalorian TV)/Ahsoka Tano

Nominators: as stated in the rules, please take the disambiguation away, nominating Omega instead of Omega (Star Wars: The Bad Batch) and The Armorer instead of The Armorer (The Mandalorian TV).

Ships including diacritics, such as Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Obi-Wan Kenobi/Reva Sevander | Third Sister, Obi-Wan Kenobi/The Son | Fanged God, Grievous | Qymaen jai Sheelal/Obi-Wan Kenobi, Reva Sevander | Third Sister/Anakin Skywalker | Darth Vader and Mon Mothma/Thrawn | Mitth'raw'nuruodo

Nominators: as stated in the rules, please pick a single identity.

Pick either Ben Solo or Kylo Ren;

Pick either Reva Sevander or Third Sister;

Pick either The Son or Fanged God;

Pick either Grievous or Qymaen jai Sheelal;

Pick either Anakin Skywalker or Darth Vader;

Use Thrawn instead of Thrawn | Mitth'raw'nuruodo.

Unless we hear back from you: the mod team might reject these tags.

[generalgrievousherothefactualcw]

The Acolyte Got Casual SW Fans Hurt By Facts!

I haven't watched The Acolyte yet as I'm going to binge watch the whole thing once it comes out but I'm laughing at these r*tarded SW Youtubers like a certain Thor guy and some other people trying to defend the Jedi's villainy. George Lucas already said that the Jedi are evil in the Prequels as he literally said "Anakin had to chose between two evils. The Jedi are after power and the Sith are after power." The Jedi are villains and it's a fact in Pre-Clone Wars and the Clone Wars.

So for these so-called SW "fans" getting mad sound r*tarded and need to get mental help because the Jedi's evil actions aren't heroic. This is not Good is "bad" now and Bad is "good". This has always been the facts but because of the biased portrayal of the Jedi, you were taught to think they're "heroic" when they're clearly villainous. In the biased portrayal mind, Good (Grievous & the CIS) is "bad" and bad (Jedi/Republic) is "good".

Nobody is saying the Sith are "good" either because they're just as villainous as the Jedi. Being murderous cultish zealots willing to commit genocide on innocents and other heinous acts to any who don’t stand with the Republic and kidnap children, then indoctrinate them and send them off to their deaths to further their agenda is what the Jedi do and is not heroic in any shape or form.

Grievous is a hero and it's a fact as he's killing the villainous Jedi and avenging his people. So all these people acting like The Acolyte is "portraying the Jedi wrong" you're the delusional one and you're not a SW Fan at all. Plus, they already said that the Jedi are gonna be portrayed as villains before the show came out because everyone is tired of the biased portrayals. Shut up and stop crying about the FACTS!

[aquaticasart]

Something a lil different, I'm going to try posting some writing to see how much interest there might be.

A long form piece inspired by and extending upon the excellent work of @1-800-daylon with oversight and blessing

With a Heavy Heart - Chapter 1

Next Chapter ->

Summary:

After a disasterous mission, Raven demotes Li Ling from his rank as Operations Chief. He is placed under the tutelage of Drew, who is tasked with his re-training and assessing when, or if, he is able to earn his title back.

In his brash attempts to regain his lost position and pride, Li Ling stumbles into long-buried pasts, and comes to realise the terrifying depth to his unassuming teacher and the house he served.

CW

Contains themes of emotional hurt, grief and loss, with mention of Canonical character death, and use of organised crime-adjacent tropes.

Chapter 1

Raven slammed the holo-disk down on the table with a crash that sent papers and stationery flying. The abused disk sputtered into life, replaying a short clip of a ruined building collapsing into rubble on constant, destructive loop.

“So what do you call this?” She demanded of Li Ling, who was in the middle of using an extra arm to re-balance the dangerous chair lean Raven’s outburst had toppled as he sat across from her.

“I call that stopping the Shadow Decree from finding an occupied Miramon Shelter” Li Ling casually retorted, satisfied that his balance on the two chair legs had been restored.

“Oh do you?” Raven her voice rising in both pitch and volume with incredulity. “You see Shadow Decree agents stumbling into a building and your first instinct is to drop the building around them?”

“Well, they didn’t find it, did they?”

“Didn’t find – Alright, Li Ling, puzzle me this. Say you’re Hyde sitting in whatever sewer you’re squatting in. Two of your agents walk into a seemingly inconsequential ruin, and a Union Chief deems that a grievous enough transgression to topple the ENTIRE building around them. Do you think he thinks that area is important or unimportant?”

Li Ling didn’t answer immediately, still miffed he wasn’t getting the heroes welcome he was expecting.

“I…suppose they’d think it was import-“

“That’s right, I think they’d come to the conclusion that it was VERY important.”

Li Ling leant back and forth on his two chair legs, unperturbed by the lashing.

“Someone needed to show the strength to stop the Shadow Decree” He said in justification.

“If someone was trying to get into or out of the shelter, they’d be dead. What would your strength do THEN” Raven began heatedly.

“Not to mention the people inside. If the shelter wasn’t repaired properly, they’d be dead. If the shelter wasn’t stocked, they’d be dead. If the rescue operation I need to now schedule doesn’t get them out of the rubble in the next week, they’ll be dead. It’s a Godsdamned MIRACLE there are no reported casualties, and we’ll need to abandon the shelter ANYWAY because…”

She gestured for Li Ling to finish the sentence.

“Because the Shadow Decree know it’s Imp-“

“Because the Shadow Decree KNOW it’s IMPORTANT.”

Raven slumped heavily into her chair. She rubbed her good eye with one hand, pinching the bridge of her nose.

“I had hoped we were past this. I thought I’d trained you better.”

“In fairness,” Li Ling grumbled, “There are no rules in the rulebook that explicitly say don’t drop buildings.”

“Rules 1, 5, 6, 13 and 27.” Raven retorted.

There was a pause.

“…. what was rule 27 again?”

“Not Leaving a situation in more chaos than you found it.”

“Ah.”

Raven sat, deep in thought.

“What am I going to do with you?”

Li Ling decided, finally, to keep his mouth shut. After what seemed like an age, Raven rummaged through her desk, grabbed something inside, and balefully wandered to the large window looking out of her office. It was nearly sunset in Raven’s high-rise office overlooking Gyrate. the afternoon light was starting to tinge gold as the last remnants of the day’s sun burned as white-hot points on the glass sea beneath them. Citizens went about their lives far beneath them. In the distance, the Miracle hung imposing over the city, casting a long shadow in the afternoon light.

“Clearly we need to go back a few steps.” Raven said, half to Li Ling, half to herself.

“Effective immediately, you are relieved of your position and duties as Operations Chief-”

“Wait, what, you can’t- “

“-and you will be immediately reassigned to general Union Operations-”

“Raven, don’t be stupid, you NEED- “

“Additionally, you will be assigned a tutor who will evaluate your progress, and determine when, or IF, you are fit to have your station-”

Raven swept around and clamped a solid metal cuff onto one of Li Ling’s regular forearms. The cuff extended from wrist to elbow and tightened around Li Ling’s arm in a vice-like grip.

“-and your powers returned to you.”

As the cuff clamped shut, Li Ling felt it burn red hot. He felt his power, that he usually channelled effortlessly, flow against his will towards it and dissipate into a mirage of heat. He fell backwards on his chair as his extra arms started dissipating into magenta particles. On the floor, Li Ling felt helpless and heavy, as if the earth was suddenly pulling him down with twice the force.

“What did you-” he heaved.

“An emergency resource from the Nether Gaol.” Raven replied, coldly “for if we ever needed to handle a rogue Esper. And right now, that means you, Sunshine.”

Li Ling could only gasp. He felt like there was an iron weight on his chest as his power dissipated, sapping his strength and his superhuman energy.

“Report to Clara immediately to make sure there are no adverse effects from the gauntlet…”

Li Ling barely pulled himself to his feet, his own weight almost too much to hold up.

“...And await further instructions on your tutor and your new responsibilities. You are dismissed.”

It is said that there are fewer more powerful Espers who have lived than the patriarch of House Ramses. Certainly, other Espers may be physically stronger, or better known, or in command of more powerful energies, but none can be said to truly be more powerful. Few can say they have the ambition, the drive or a persuasive power to affect change on the world quite like he could. The Ramses Dynasty ascended to greatness on the back of Esperhood, being one of the first to recognise the power a single Esper could hold over the world, let alone many. He is remembered as kind, as grounded, as caring for the small folk of the world and while that may be true, few can say they were truly witness to his shrewdness, his cunning, his loyalty, and his cruelty. When Lateef Ramses died at the hands of an unknown assassin, it sent ripples throughout Grandis that resonate to this day.

[illisurevimurasi]

Luminara Undili Appearances

Books // Comics // Shows // Movies // Video Games // Misc.

Canon // Legends // Both

32 BBY

Cloak of Deception

22 BBY

The Approaching Storm (Supplemental: HoloNet News vol. 531 #54)

Star Wars: The Prequel Trilogy - A Graphic Novel

Star Wars Journeys: Beginnings

Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones (Supplemental: Dark Horse Adaptation)

Star Wars: The Clone Wars

Star Wars: Clone Wars Chapters 1, 14, and 16 (Supplemental: Cine-manga adaptation)

Clone Wars Adventures "Training Room"

Star Wars: Battle for the Republic

Star Wars: Clone Wars Adventures vol. 2 "Hide in Plain Sight"

Star Wars: The Clone Wars (Supplemental: Novelization)

Star Wars: The Clone Wars "Destroy Malevolence" (Hologram only)

21 BBY

Star Wars: The Clone Wars "Cloak of Darkness" (Supplemental: The Clone Wars: Transfer comic)

Star Wars: The Clone Wars "Lair of Grievous" (Hologram only, Supplemental: The Clone Wars: Grievous Attacks! comic)

Star Wars: The Clone Wars: Jedi Alliance

Star Wars: The Clone Wars: Republic Heroes

Star Wars: The Clone Wars "Holocron Heist"

Stories of Jedi and Sith "A Jedi's Duty"

Star Wars: The Clone Wars "Landing at Point Rain" (Hologram only)

Star Wars: The Clone Wars "Weapons Factory"

Star Wars: The Clone Wars "Legacy of Terror"

Star Wars: The Clone Wars "Brain Invaders"

Star Wars: The Clone Wars "Grievous Intrigue" (Hologram only)

Star Wars Adventures #20 "Tales from Wild Space: The Journey" (Exact placement unknown)

20 BBY

Star Wars: The Clone Wars "Gungan Attack" (Hologram only)

Star Wars: The Clone Wars "The Rise of Clovis"

Star Wars: The Clone Wars "Voices"

Star Wars Republic: Show Of Force (Issue #?)

MedStar I: Battle Surgeons (in flashbacks)

MedStar II: Jedi Healer (Hologram only)

Star Wars: Clone Wars Adventures vol. 8 "Versus"

Star Wars Republic #72

19 BBY

Boba Fett: Pursuit

Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith (Supplemental: Dark Horse Adaptation Issue #3)

Star Wars Republic: Hidden Enemy (Issue #?)

5 BBY

Star Wars Rebels "Rise of the Old Masters" (Supplemental: The Inquisitor's Trap, The Secret Jedi: The Adventures of Kanan Jarrus: Rebel Leader, Droids in Distress, Star Wars Rebels Webcomic)

[autisticsupervillain]

FTF: Boss Battle

The show where we put a team of characters up against one much stronger or haxier character.

This Week's Fighters....

Gordon Freeman vs The RED Team!

Conditions:

RED Team restricted to stock. Gordon has Full Arsenal.

Scenario:

G-Man wants Gordon to steal some Australium from The Administrator. RED Team tries to stop him.

BOSS: Gordon Freeman

Many shooter heroes have gone up against impossible odds. Conquered incomprehensible threats from beyond the stars and bested physical gods. And yet, the greatest of all these heroes isn't an uber space marine or a super masculine macho man. No, Gordon Freeman is simply an ordinary scientist with a crowbar.

Gordon Freeman was once a diligent theoretical physicist working at the top secret lab known as Black Mesa. However, one of Gordon's experiments accidentally punched a hole into another universe, causing an alien invasion. Gordon is forced to fight for his life and fend off the invaders, making him the savior off Earth. Unfortunately, this puts him on the G-Man's radar, forcing him to serve the mysterious being and his employers for the rest of his days... until Half-Life 3 comes out... assuming it will.

Luckily, G-Man mostly seems to want Gordon to kick alien ass and Freeman's got plenty of tools for the job. For starters, he never goes into battle with his trusty HEV suit. The Hazardous EnVironment Suit comes with a whole bunch of nifty features, boosting his otherwise normal human stats to superhuman levels. With it, he's durable enough to tank military air strikes with 134 megajoules of force behind them and survive hits from lasers that do this to solid steel walls.

Source:

Moreover, most of Gordon's stronger weapons can kill Alien Grunts, who are strong enough to completely obliterate steel gates. By using Gordon as a measuring stick to estimate the size and thickness of the wall, it can be determined that it would over half a ton of tnt to generate this kind of explosion, roughly 0.723 tons of tnt to be precise.

Source:

The suit also has a built in radiation detector and an ai voice that informs him of any grievous injuries. Upon sustaining an injury, he's pumped full of painkillers potent enough to let him shrug off bullet wounds. Similarly, the suit's antitoxins are strong enough to reverse the effects of headcrab poison, which leaves him on the brink of death with just a touch, in seconds. Hell, he can even tank hits from antimatter weapons, endure extreme heat and cold, endure dangerous acids, and shrug off high voltage electricity. Even morso, the suit can be upgraded, allowing him to leap several Kilometers when using the long jump module.

He also carries a large array of guns. While Gordon has the typical shotgun, AK, and RPG ensemble you would expect from a shooter protagonist, he also has some unique guns. He carries two crossbows, one shoots tranquilizer darts while the other shoots bars of molten metal. He carries the Gluon Gun, which shoots unstable Gluon particles so powerful that they make people explode, the Tau canon, which shoots Tau particles, or molecular particles that make up matter on the Quantum Level, and the hive hand, which shoots alien bugs at people like a wasp machine gun. His Pulse Rifle shoots energy projectiles and, when charged up, shoots a ball of antimatter that bounces around everywhere and erases everyone it touches on contact. His most iconic gun, however, is the gravity gun, which manipulates gravity to allow him to throw anyone and anything that gets in his grasp around like a ragdoll, even erasing people with its antimatter energy should he grab them with it thanks to a handy upgrade the Combine gave it. And that's not even the only gun in Gordon's arsenal that can flat delete you, as the Gluon Gun can destabilize the Gluon Particles of its target and rip them apart on the subatomic level.

With these powerful weapons, Gordon has fought off impossible odds with ease. He stopped an alien invasion within the span of a week at most and turned the tide of a hopelessly one sided war against a galactic empire in the span of two days. He curb stomped his way through the US Military, is fast enough to react to and dodge rockets, and has even impressed the reality warping G-Man with his remarkable abilities.

Source:

Having said that, he has a few weaknesses. For one thing, his suit's durability relies on its battery, so he'll frequently have to recharge it if he gets hit too often. He also doesn't wear a helmet, which leaves his squishy human head exposed for his superhuman enemies to crush.

Despite that though, Gordon Freeman is universally beloved as the savior of mankind and is dreaded even by godlike, reality warping aliens. That says a lot about a man who used to just be a pimply scientist. The right man in the wrong place can achieve just about anything.

Team: RED Team

It began in 1850. Wealthy English industrialist Zepheniah Mann, owner of Mann Co, was convinced by his greedy, idiotic sons to purchase land in the US to expand the company. Zepheniah agreed, only to discover that the lands he purchased were useless dust bowls and lifeless gravel pits. Not only that, but he'd contracted many horrific diseases during his trip to the states that quickly ate up his health. Dying bitter at his incompetent sons, Zepheniah would write his last will on his rotting skin, splitting the worthless lands between Redmond and Blutarch to ensure that they would fight over it for the rest of their lives.

Desperate to get the other's half of the fortune, the Brothers Mann would turn their halves of the company into Reliable Excavation Demolition (RED) and Builders League United (BLU) respectively, using them as fronts to wage eternal war on each other. In their pointless bid to get this worthless land full of fuck all to themselves, the brothers would hire nine of the greatest mercenaries in the world to fight for them. The exact same mercenaries. For both of them. Don't think about it.

They would cycle through numerous teams over the years, until the 1960s where we'd meet the most iconic ensemble of the RED Team. The Team that would come to be known as Team Fortress!

The Scout is fast talking brawler from Boston he thinks he's hot shit and thinks he's God's gift to women. Because he is. Canonically. God told him so. He's easily the fastest person on his team, more than quick enough to outrun trains and flat out dodge rockets. And while he's certainly not book smart by any definition, he's a good enough scrapper to kill a Heavy in one on one melee combat. If he can't bust you up with his bat, then the wide spread of his shotgun would likely shred you to pieces, while his pistol finishes you off. He's swift enough to somehow double jump, durable enough to drink radioactive soda, and strong enough to blow you out of the park with his taunt kill. Hell, he's durable enough to survive three of Soldier's rockets blowing up in his face simultaneously, despite being heavily injured, tanking a combined energy equivalent to 0.007 tons of TNT!

Source:

The Soldier, otherwise known as Jane Doe, is batshit crazy patriotism personified. He wanted so badly to fight in World War 2 that he went on a one man crusade against Germany for years before learning that the war ended in 1949. He's mad enough to wrestle bears while covered in honey and crazy enough to try to fly by shooting rockets directly at his feet. Which makes it sll the more absurd when it actually works. A madman with a rocket launcher is one thing, give him pseudo flight and you've invited death himself onto the battlefield, raining rockets down from the skies and bludgeoning your teeth out with a shovel when he lands. Or blow you both up with the grenades on his chest. Or just shoot you with a shotgun. Whatever works.

The Pyro is a mysterious pyromaniac of indefinitive origin, indeterminate gender, and very definite lack of sanity, viewing all the chaos and death he brings through the fantastical lens of Pyroland. In reality though, she's burning down everything in sight with reckless abandon, either with their flamethrower or with their bare hands. Ryu would be filling a lawsuit if he wasn't currently ashes. And lest you think that's all the Pyro has, many a foolish Soldier has forgotten about the power of airblast and paid dearly for it. With a burst of compressed air from her flamethrower, Pyro can juggle enemies in the air and send projectiles and rockets back at the enemy.

Tavish Finnegan DeGroot, aka The Demoman is one of best and most dangerous Demomen to ever roam the Earth. If he weren't, he wouldn't be able to discuss it with you, now would he? Despite his constant drunkeness and lack of depth perception, the Demoman can easily blow the enemy to pieces with both the careful placement of clever sticky bomb traps or the ruthless spamming of bouncing explosive pipes. He can even take a note from the book of his dear friend Soldier and blast himself into the air with his bombs.

The Heavy Weapons Guy is easy to mistake for a lumbering brute, but beneath the muscle and thick Russian accent is a brutal and intelligent mercenary. Mikhail is a gulag survivor who works to provide for his family and possesses a degree in Russian literature. With enough beef to out muscle the rest of his team and a massive minigun loving naned Sasha, the Heavy rarely needs to think too hard to mow down everything in sight. And if he does, he knows exactly how to best rip a man in half or blow the head off with a shotgun.

Deil Conagher aka The Engineer is a humble Texas gadgeteer with eleven PHDs. While his trusty shotgun gives him an option in a fight, Engie is much better off building supports for his team, such as massive minigun sentries with built in rocket launchers to protect the base, ammunition and health dispensers to restock his team, and teleporters to keep his team on the frontlines and tele-frag any poor sap who stands on the other end of it.

What Mr. Ludwig lacks in his regards for the Hippocratic Oath, the Medic makes up for in his mad scientific expertise. Don't let his lost medical license fool you, the Medic is a veritable genius. His most iconic invention, the Medigun, can heal the brutalized bodies of teammates, put people's bodies back together, and can, when fully charged, render whoever he's healing temporarily invincible. He was once able to resurrect the dead by just... putting their blood back inside them and even managed to steal his teammates souls and surgically attach them to himself in order to scam Satan himself. His bonesaw can hack to pieces and his syringe gun gives him a method of self defense from afar.

Nick Mundy is a rugged, relaxed outdoorsman from the outback with a tense relationship with his parents and also the greatest marksman on Earth. While his machete and SMG give him options for dealing with close quarters combatants, the Sniper is most at home sitting back and blowing the heads off whoever he's been paid to kill this week. He's a professional. Nothing personal.

The Spy is the mysterious master of disguise of the team, with a penchant for acquainting his knives to the spines of his unsuspecting foes. His watch allows him to turn invisible for a limited time to best ambush his foes, while his disguise kit allows him to impersonate anyone on Earth, from your teammates to even famous celebrities.

Despite the team's frequent zany antics and at times debatable intelligence, they are the greatest mercenaries on Earth for a reason. Together, they've beaten everything from killer bread monsters to evil wizards and even a robot army. They are, for better or for worse, the greatest team of gunmen on the planet. Often, for far worse.

Throwdown Theme:

Throwdown Breakdown:

So... Gordon doesn't wear a helmet. If knly the RED Team could take advantage of that somehow. Like say they had a, I dunno... Sniper of some description. Don't know anyone like that, guess Gordon stomps.

But in all seriousness, it's a question of if the RED Team can keep Gordon distracted for long enough for Mundy to get his shot. And, in short, no. Not at all. Naturally, Gordon is much stronger. Much. Much Stronger.

What I mean is that Gordon is a wooping 103x stronger! (0.723 tons of TNT vs 0.007). Meaning it's entire possible that Gordon simply mows throw the whole team before Sniper can even get a single shot off. That is a massive problem, as even Gordon's regular guns should be strong enough to reduce the mercs to giblets with a graze with that gap.

Hell, Sentry Buster explosions completely obliterate the mercs and those themselves are much weaker than Freeman at 0.09 tons of TNT.

Source:

Medic is a necessity for this fight to even be debatable. The Medigun's ability to pull mercs back together after they've been annihilated is safety net they desperately need. After Heavy and Pyro get shredded and put back together (they are the ones meant to be engaging head on after all), the team will likely split up to keep Freeman from decimating them all. I tragically don't see Heavy really surviving the early fight due to his low maneuverability and Medic possibly might not either. Once Gordon sees him resurrect someone, he'd likely make Medic a priority, leaving the team without their method of taking hits. Thankfully, Gordon isn't likely to wipe immediately. A bunch of people comparable to, if not superior to Gordon in speed all running in different directions means Gordon is guaranteed to miss a few of them at first.

However, this forced split up would turn the game into an intense game of cat and mouse, giving a certain stealth expert the time to shine. While any Merc could theoretically ambush Gordon and shoot him in his obviously unarmoured head if they play their cards right, Spy is in the best position to do so. Gordon has no way of seeing through invisibility and given Spy's specialty, he's liable to go invisible as soon as the fight starts. This gives him the perfect opportunity to just... shoot Gordon in the head while invisible. Problem solved.

Even is Spy does die in the early bloodbath, there are some scenarios where the team can still win this. Pyro is fast enough to airblast back some projectiles early on and kill Gordon that way, but he's unlikely to survive thr bloodbath due to a lack of mobility options. Similar to Sniper or Engineer. But, Scout, Demoman, and Soldier likely would due to their own movement options. One well placed sticky trap is that would be needed to get Freeman's head.

There's this misconception that the TF2 Mercs are all incompetent idiots who do their jobs by accident moreso than on purpose. And while some of them are fairly stupid and they're all very unhinged, it's pretty consistent that they can organize very well when the chips are down. They know how to fight. How to strategize mid-fight, and even how to plan. And against a threat as overwhelming as Freeman, that would definitely shine.

This Throwdown's Winner is...

The Red Team!

The Boss has been defeated!

[kaleeshbled]

UNSTOPPABLE. . . He is. . . Unstoppable. . .

★ Indie 18+ General Grievous of Star Wars RotS + CW ★ canon divergent + Legends based ★ A study into the fall of a war hero into a monster ★ carrd As salvaged by Captain ( 25+, they // them ) ★ uses beta editor + xkit rewritten ↪ multi muse SW sideblog over at antiquaanima + also found on ashenwinds