#cannot connect names to faces to save my life. very unfortunate

[gay-jesus-probably]

You have a relative that won the Stanley Cup I have a relative that didn't win the cup but played NHL and was in the Olympics

I'm Native so I get the big extended family thing I think he's a second cousin or something

Oh nice, olympics hockey is always a blast; if your second cousin plays for Canada, I hope they're damn good lmaoo. And to be fair, I would not call Jean Beliveau a close relative of mine; like, I know we must both be descended from one specific guy who came to Canada in like 1650 (Antoine Belliveau), aaand I think the extended Belliveau clan also all has a mutual ancestor in Pierre Belliveau about a century later; pretty sure he was the only Belliveau to survive the Acadian genocide. But he had like eleven kids, so like 250 years later I think there's like two thousand Beliveau's scattered around Canada and the northern US, under various spellings of the name. It's honestly not that big a deal; I'm related to Jean Beliveau the same way anyone with the last name Broussard is related to Beyonce. Very distantly, but damn if it doesn't feel cool to brag about it to people.

(...that's not a joke btw, Beyonce is also Acadian, Francois Broussard came to Acadia in 1653, and Beyonce is one of his many descendants; if your name is Broussard, you're Beyonce's very distant cousin. You're welcome.)

But I feel you about having a whole bunch of something-th cousins; none of my aunts wound up having kids, so I've just got a whole bunch of cousins of assorted flavours. Made more confusing by the fact that my dad grew up with two of his cousins and considers them to be his sisters, though they're not, and I genuinely can't tell if the two of them have a third sister or if she's a different cousin, and frankly at this point it's far too late to ask. I have no idea how the fuck I'm related to anyone in my family; at this point all I really know is that of my surviving family I've got one grandma, one aunt, two aunts that are actually first cousins once removed (and maybe it's actually three but I don't know), an uncle that's actually my great-uncle and oh my god I just realized I actually have no idea where great-uncle Sulo fits into the family tree, I think all the cousins I know came from great-uncle Jerry. FUCK. My dead grandma only had two brothers, this should not be so hard, but oh dear lord is it ever hard.

And that's just one branch of dad's family. Jesus lord. Don't even get me started on mom's side of the family, which is also fucking enormous; my paternal grandpa had six siblings, and all seven of them had children, while my living grandmother also has a bunch of siblings with their own kids. It's so much, I literally couldn't even begin to guess at how many maternal cousins I have, it's absurd.

[teeterarting]

here's a list of things i love about PSMD for no reason other than i think it deserves appreciation (spoilers)

the hero gets adopted by a nuzleaf. Hero, a young child that doesn't know why they were brought into this world, attacked by beheeyem, scared and alone, finds someone that takes them under his wing and gives them a home. it's really sweet that once Nuzleaf brings them to the Village, Hero's not alone anymore.

yes it was all a trick, he deceived you. but being betrayed by your father figure hits so much harder. it's much more personal, especially when both Hero and Partner are kids. and when Nuzleaf goes through all that ordeal in the post game, then gets accepted back into the village?? And his little speech to Hero????? it's heartbreaking and incredibly touching at the same time

everything is just so cute!!!! you go to school with your new friendo and you're friends with the schoolkids, and you make the trip to school every morning taking in the scenery, the smell of dew and fresh grass, and the sun on your face... and you take classes about Mystery Dungeon mechanics, and principal Simipour is a big BRO, the school nurse Audino is super kind and helpful... and you get to play with your pokemon friendos in summer vacation, and explore a dungeon with 'em... AND your bond with your Partner begins to form, getting stronger and stronger from then on. PSMD's beginning arc is so warm and pleasant, it's like reliving childhood memories all over again, when things were happier and you didn't have to worry about how cruel the world is. this story section's one purpose is to get the player used to the game's mechanics, as well as foreshadowing. unfortunately most of the school kids get forgotten later on, but I still love this part for everything it is, even if unintentional.

it's not just the beginning that's cute. PSMD'S ENTIRE WORLD IS ADORABLE. It's just filled with life every town you go. there are a bunch of pokemon locals and they all have interesting things to say, in the main story and the post-game. there's a point where their comments get repetitive, but that's bound to happen in any PMD game. Even then, the days are never the same. one morning you wake up and the Lively Town locals are exercising, then the next they're having singing lessons, and then they're practicing martial arts. and you get to connect with (or recruit) some of them just by.... chatting!!! Sitting next to that big ol' venusaur and sharing stories, laughing and having fun. it's good stuff.

Sometimes you find travelling pokemon in dungeons and it's jsut the coolest thing. Imagine you're exploring a dungeon, then your Connection Orb notifies you there's a fellow explorer in the floor. First thing you do is try to find them, and when you do - oh dang a travelling Archeops!!!! And then they just,,,, exchange their experiences and thoughts on exploration and how hard it is to fend off those enemies and the cool treasure they found the other day (the game calls it "[Team Name] and [Traveller pokemon] compared notes"). then the traveller heals you, fills your belly and restores your PP. and they go on their way. idk man it's such a cute interaction. explorers chatting, empathizing and helping each other, bc their job is not an easy one...

PSMD Partner is the most developed Partner in any PMD game yet. They start off as this naive, hyperactive kiddo, then stuff happens, and worse stuff happens, and you get to see how they grow and change and by the end they're a different person than they were before (in more than one way ...). It's just so nice to be by their side, from the beginning to the bitter end, and watch their growth. in contrast, Hero is a little unbalanced in that their backstory is not explored as much, and their personality is kind of a blank - probs meant to be vague so the player can be in their shoes. to me this just gives you the opportunity to shape their character however you want, so you can have tons of different hero/pardner dynamics.

The music is rlly flippin' good. Some of the tracks are recycled from previous entries, but when they go original??? it's a blast!!! "Echoes of the Mystical Forest" is one of my favorites in all four entries, it has no right being so amazing for a random dungeon. "Time to Set Out" makes me cry immediately (also i think it would be a better fit for the parting ways scene at the end...). Don't even get me started on "Second Dark Matter Battle", it has everything an epic climax needs and MORE. the Partner remix????? absolute genius

speaking of which, Dark Matter ITSELF,, is freaking amazing. Its actions were foreshadowed in the very beginning, though they were not blatant through the game. i do think they could have done a better job at showing the pokemon's negativity raising in the world, as well as negative feelings in the characters... but it's not like Gates did a good job at it, either (outside of cutscenes, all the locals in Post Town are incredibly nice to you and fights didn't "break out often". it's like the game tells you the world is a dark place, but what it shows in gameplay doesn't add up). so i'll cut them some slack. Still, I find Dark Matter a more compelling villain than the Bittercold for several reasons. it is sentient. its speech is a jumbled amount of voices all talking at the same time - the anguished voices of the world. It actually concocted a plan to hurl the planet into the Sun, using pawns like Nuzleaf and Yveltal to do its dirty job. in the Voidlands, Hero and Partner discover its past, and how it'll come back after defeat, like a cycle. when Partner accepts Dark Matter, they accept negative feelings as something everyone has within themselves. Most of all, the fact that Dark Matter is a manifestation of negative feelings doesn't make it just a generic threat, a final obstacle to be defeated so the world can be saved. It makes Dark Matter - negativity itself - a natural part of the world, the yin to its yang. and that's why I LOVE IT SO MUCH DANG IT EVEN THANKS PARTNER FOR THEIR ACCEPTANCE

The fact that Dark Matter can possess pokemon that have "even the smallest amount of darkness in their hearts". it makes me think of Mr. Nuzleaf and what he might have gone through in the past to make him so easy to be controlled. Did he hold a grudge against someone?? Did he commit a crime?? Had Nuzleaf always been malicious???? And if so, is this why he shows so much remorse in the post-game??????? because he had always been this vile fiend and then he met this small kid and got attached, but still carried on with his evil actions because his malice was still stronger than the positive feelings and Dark Matter's hold on him intensified?????? I don't know!!!! and as much as i wish the game could have given us that sweet mr. Nuzleaf backstory, it's pretty fun to have freedom to come up with your own version.

Everything about Super's climax is just phenomenal. Every single flippin' legendary is there to help you. Arceus is in the game. MEWTWO IS THERE. and when things are looking hopeless, they really seem hopeless. First the Tree of Life is dying, then your allies get turned into stone and sent to hell The Voidlands, Arceus gets turned into stone, the entire world is stone (except for several mon' that are still safe and holding onto hope, but they're so few). Your Harmony Scarves stop working and you and your Partner are back to your feeble, basic stage forms. You are bordering exhaustion, you have no Emeras, it's just you and your Partner against an eldritch abomination that's killing the life on the entire planet like a parasite, devouring all hope. but you still fight back. Given how adults in the game always discourage the village children from going adventuring, that they cannot do this or that because they're so little and fragile, it's awesome how Hero and Partner beat Dark Matter as tiny kids.

PSMD is not a flawless game. in fact there's plenty of things that hold it back and i even mentioned some... but it's still full of love put into it and it resonates w me more than PMD Explorers of T/D/S and Gates to Infinity (Rescue Team is a close second). its my all-time favorite PMD game.

[padme-amitabha]

Anidala Week 2021

 Day 1: Missing Scene or Favorite Scene(s)

Anakin Skywalker could not take his eyes off the girl. He noticed her the moment he entered Watto’s shop, even before Watto said anything, and he hadn’t been able to stop looking at her since. He barely heard what Watto said to him about watching the shop. He barely noticed the strange-looking creature that had come in with her and was poking around in the shelves and bins. Even after she noticed he was staring at her, he could not help himself. He moved now to an open space on the counter, hoisted himself up, and sat watching her while pretending to clean a transmitter cell. She was looking back at him now, embarrassment turning to curiosity. She was small and slender with long, braided brown hair, brown eyes, and a face he found so beautiful that he had nothing to which he could compare it. She was dressed in rough peasant’s clothing, but she seemed very self-possessed. She gave him an amused smile, and he felt himself melting in confusion and wonder. He took a deep breath. 

“Are you an angel?” he asked quietly. The girl stared. “What?” 

“An angel.” Anakin straightened a bit. “They live on the moons of Iego, I think. They are the most beautiful creatures in the universe. They are good and kind, and so pretty they make even the most hardened space pirates cry like small children.” 

She gave him a confused look. “I’ve never heard of angels,” she said. “You must be one of them,” Anakin insisted. “Maybe you just don’t know it.” “You’re a funny little boy.” The amused smile returned.

“I’m sorry,” she said quickly, looking upset and embarrassed. “I don’t fully understand, I guess. This is a strange world to me.” He studied her intently for a moment, thinking of other things, wanting to tell her of them. “You are a strange girl to me,” he said instead. He swung his legs out from the counter. “My name is Anakin Skywalker.” She brushed at her hair. “Padmé Naberrie.”

Both Anakin and Padmé were laughing now, and their laughter increased as they saw the look on the unfortunate creature’s long billed face. Anakin looked at Padmé and the girl at him. Their laughter died away. The girl reached up to touch her hair self-consciously, but she did not divert her gaze. “I’m going to marry you,” the boy said suddenly. There was a moment of silence, and she began laughing again, a sweet musical sound he didn’t mind at all. “I mean it,” he insisted. “You are an odd one,” she said, her laughter dying away. “Why do you say that?” He hesitated. ” I guess because it’s what I believe…” Her smile was dazzling. “Well, I’m afraid I can’t marry you..” She paused, searching her memory for his name. “Anakin,” he said. “Anakin.” She cocked her head. “You’re just a little boy.” His gaze was intense as he faced her. “I won’t always be…” he said quietly.”

— Terry Brooks, Star Wars : Episode I - The Phantom Menace

This is one of my favorite Anidala scenes ever because their story starts so sweetly. This scene is so unique to them and after watching the OT, it’s fascinating to see a young Darth Vader as a sweet and innocent child. His interactions as a slave boy with a young queen in disguise is also fits with the fairytale-ish tone and themes in Star Wars. Anakin and Padmé’s first meeting is just precious. 

This is probably the only time, Anakin and Padmé can be themselves without older figures telling them what to do. This is one of the few times Padmé is Padmé Naberrie - not Queen Amidala or Padmé Amidala. It’s interesting to see two young people from different social classes and vastly different cultures and worlds sharing a genuine moment of connection. 

I can add very little to this scene but Anakin proves he has enough clairvoyance (as Admiral Motti mocks him in ANH) to be certain he has met the girl he would marry someday. Even in TPM, little Anakin Skywalker is just as much a slave to Watto as he is to the Emperor in ANH. 

Even Padmé is somewhat surprised by his intensity at such an young age. Anakin also emphasizes on his identity as a person so this scene has dark undertones and references to Darth Vader.  

Another scene I love is the chilling visual parallels with Vader and Padmé in ROTS. The stark contrast between their “deaths” but also the similarities show that they are still connected even while their lives hang in balance. 

Padmé gives birth to life and Anakin loses his humanity. She is in a well-lit medical facility and he is in a cold, dark one. Even their heartbeats are in sync as if they are connected via the Force (which could very well be true, since she was slightly force-sensitive from carrying the twins). 

As the mask lowers on Vader, he whispers (since his vocal cords are badly burnt), “Padmé, help me” and Padmé, always on Anakin’s side, hears his plea and tries to tell that to Obi-Wan with her dying breath. It’s very likely that she heard him through the connection they shared like their connection during the ruminations scene and how Leia felt Luke in ESB and but she was unable to respond as she had given birth and probably lost the temporary force sensitivity. 

 As Anakin takes his first breath as Vader, Padmé takes her last. 

Vader rises like Frankenstein’s monster and Sidious marvels at his new “creation”. Padmé dies all in white, like the angel Anakin believed her to be. The parallels are also reminiscent of the “Death and the Maiden” motif.

Anakin has always felt connected to Padmé since he met her and this is the last time he feels their connection. And that’s how he knows Padmé is truly dead and he has lost her forever.  

Even the chorus “I am a Sith Lord but I could not save her” (even though the lyrics are actually Sanskrit) is haunting. This is where the colors of the republic fade and the black and white symbolism of the empire begins. 

Anakin is now Vader - more machine than man - and stands beside Sidious to assist him in building a tyrannical empire while Padmé dies and takes with her all the colors, love, laughter, cultural beauty, and freedom of the Republic era. Padmé was the personification of the Republic - a flawed but well-intended system and her death represents the democracy whereas Vader represents the Empire. 

Her funeral arrangement makes it seem like she’s drowning like Ophelia - implying that she’s returning to where she belongs. (Her planet Naboo is mostly associated with water and Padmé has often expressed her love for water and lakes in AOTC).

Padmé dying of a broken heart is also fits in with the fairytale whereas Anakin finds himself in a very different world after he wakes up - a world where most of the Jedi had been slaughtered and the survivors were declared traitors, a world where democracy doesn’t exist anymore. And he finds himself kept alive my machinery and he cannot die like his beloved, even if he wishes to. He is now very much a part of the new empire - with his humanity and limbs lost - and he gradually accepts his role as the imperial enforcer. 

Anakin and Padme’s story comes to a conclusion here as their reverse arcs are completed. They have both come a long way since TPM and Padme’s experiences mold her into becoming more emotional and in touch with her feelings from the stoic, reserved Queen Amidala whereas Anakin’s dreams, compassion and search for his identity are lost as he becomes his master’s servant and becomes colder and more stoic. Padmé’s journey was to become more human and learning to put love and family over duty and transition from Amidala to Padmé as Anakin’s unfortunately was to become more inhuman and machine-like, from Anakin to Vader. 

These scenes are where the prequel trilogy ends and the originals begin. 

[hacked-by-jake]

Take you home ²

𝐃𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐇𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐫'𝐬 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞...

>𝙿𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝟷

Summary: Jake can’t accept that this has been done to you, the thought torments him, and all he wants is revenge, and he gets it.

Words: 4,2k

Genre: Angst / Fluff

Warnings: Swearing, insulting

A/n: Well, hi.

So, this one has taken on some dimensions again, they weren’t planned, about 3k. Now, it is a bit more. Actually, the whole thing should not be quite so extensive, but well, once Jake starts, he doesn’t stop.

Thank you alls so much for the support in part one, I was really surprised. And thank you very much for wishing Part Two, which means a lot to me. ❤️

So, that’s a bit more related to alternative two of part one. Actually, it was supposed to get a little darker and generally the plan was different. The ending should be different and longer, but I think it’s good as it is now.

I hope you’ll like it.

And apologize for the mistakes.

(I think I wanted to say more but I forgot xD)

Anyway, have fun, stay healthy and take care of yourselves.❤️🌹🎭

There lies the hacker now, in the early morning hours, not even the sun has risen already, wide awake, full of emotions and agitated.

In his arms, you, fortunately asleep, deep and firm.

He also wanted to sleep, he has been trying for two hours but it doesn’t work. And how should he? After the past hours it is practically impossible to sleep.

The only reason you sleep is probably the effort you had to experience. Your body was finished after the shower. You were still shivering from the adrenaline, agitated and yet so terribly tired.

So now he lies here, doesn’t know what to do with himself, doesn’t know how to react, how to feel. TThe pure fear that lay in your voice when the call came suddenly, gives him goose bumps again, crawling all over his body.

This fearful tone of your voice won’t let it go.

What if he hadn’t been there in time? If he hadn’t been able to save you in time? If it took him a minute longer? If something had gone wrong?

He can’t even imagine what could have happened. At this horrible imagination in his head, he pinches his eyes tightly. Try to remove the images from his head that make him sick, he would like to vomit, so horrible is the thought of it. He shakes his head, tries to drive away the thoughts, but they don’t go away. His fingernails drill deep and firmly into the skin of his palms. It hurts, it’s uncomfortable, and if he still squeezes even harder, he’ll start bleeding, but he has no control over it. In his mind, the worst scenarios circle and he can only imagine, if even he feel so bad now, how bad did you feel in this moment?

He controls himself to be quiet, exhorts himself to loosen up again so as not to wake you. You need sleep. You deserve sleep. But these pictures, these fucking pictures, they're not going away. The imagination that someone would touch you- NO!

The hacker opens his eyes wide! He must not go in this direction, he must look straight out and make sure that you get your revenge, as you deserve! That he protects your honor, that he makes everyone see what happens when someone wants to do something bad to you.

He’s Jake, one of the best hackers in the world and now he’s gonna show what he’s capable of.

-

His breath is so heavy, so full of anger and hatred, so full of negativity that he would like to hit the next wall.

He bites his lower lip when he thinks about leaving you here alone. He needs to be in his study. He just has to find out who this guy was. That bastard.

Just really reluctant, actually he would just like to lie here with you, but he has to, he's winds cautiously out of your embrace.

He can’t lie here and wait, he has to do something. Now!

Even if he feels weird with it, he opens the laptop that is in his bedroom and directs it so that he can see your sleeping shape. He will simply connect the laptop to his PC to keep an eye on you. As soon as you get restless or wake up, he could be with you right away.

That’s how he’s gonna do it.

He gives you a final and gentle kiss on the forehead before going to his study.

-

After he has prepared his work setup and everything is ready, he wastes no time and immediately gets to work. Quickly scan the data of the man who was tracking you.

Everything that had ever happened in his life, the hacker would find out now. And of course, the most important information is quickly obtained.

Name

Age

Date of birth

Address

All bank accounts

His social security number

Where he grew up

As what he works

What friends he has

With whom he is friends

His pets

On what elementary school he went

On what high school he went

Who his parents are

The siblings

All information about each individual family member

And at the very end, the police certificate of conduct with all the information who are important for him. And that’s more interesting than he thought. The further he read the information from the police, the more his emotional state changes.

It starts with drug abuse

Bodily injury in two cases

Insult

Gun possession

Domestic violence against his ex girlfriend

....

The list is shockingly long: a two-year stay in a prison, probation and community service.

The further Jake read, the more worried he is that he couldn’t have been there in time with bad luck. But he’s all the happier he could save you.

At the same time, he’s thinking about telling you who the guy is, because he doesn’t know how you’re gonna take this information. But he would worry more about that later.

As he glances at the laptop’s camera, a smile creeps up on his lips. Meanwhile, you are lying on his side of the bed, your arms are tightly wrapped around his pillow and your head is pressing into the soft fabric, as if you were looking for his proximity in your sleep.

How perfect can a person be? How perfect is this beautiful being lying in his bed? Immediately the tingling starts in his stomach, as always when it comes to you.

He’s so terribly in love. So insanely strong.

Again, he begins to regret that it has not progressed further between you. Everyone knows that he loves you, and everyone knows that you love him. And yet you both have not yet managed to finally do what you both so much want. But the fear of destroying everything is so great. You two spend so much time with each other, become best friends, best friends who feel more for each other than just friendship.

In addition, his fear of putting you in danger is added. He is not a simple man, no one who prefers a regular daily life, no fixed working hours, no fixed income, even if he earns more than most others. As a hacker you have one or the other possibility. Nevertheless, he is still wanted by the government. Not as strong, and the danger is not as great as it was a few months ago, but it still exists.

But last night’s incident somehow inspired him to think, and he feels different when he thinks about it. He wants you, he wants you with everything you have, he wants you by his side. He always wants to protect you, he always wants to be there for you, he wants you by his side, he doesn’t want to live alone in this apartment anymore. He doesn’t want to be alone anymore, he needs you, he has always done it and he will always need you, he wants you so bad!

This incident clearly shows that life is always uncertain, and this incident shows him that he is lying to himself. He wants to be able to say that you’re a couple, he wants it so badly. So fucking urgent.

"I want to share my life with you," the hacker murmurs, driving through his face with his hands. Now his thoughts have drifted in another direction again, but you’re just sitting in every corner of his mind. You are the biggest and most important part of his life and that since the first time you met.

But now something else is more important. After that, he can think of you a lot, but now revenge counts.

He breathes in and out again before turning back to the screens and begins to gather more information.

-

About half an hour later, he releases himself from his cramped posture. The further he delves into the life of the man, the more aggressive he becomes.

This guy’s not a petty criminal, the way he thought he was, this guy’s got dirt on him through and through.

And the further he reads, the more he wonders why this guy is on the loose and not in a maximum security prison.

From organized crime to gang activities. Drug dealing, counterfeit money, prositution. All the shit every gang is involved in.

Disgusting chat histories, images, threats of other people, extort protection money. And the hacker just assumed the guy is just a disgusting bastard. But he thought wrong.

And yet, it’s actually only good for him, really very good, because Jake has now a lot more options than he thought.

He thinks hard about how to proceed. How best to tackle this whole situation, so that he has the best chance of success.

But what’s also positive for is the fact that this guy really doesn’t deserve anything other than what the hacker’s up to.

To destroy a person’s whole life is actually nothing that he would do; he simply cannot reconcile this with his morality. Even if it’s about you, but now he’s not just doing it for you, he’s doing it for everyone. This is a favor he does to the whole society.

Oh and he’ll do it with pleasure.

-

Meanwhile, he has gained access to the man’s laptop and can take a closer look at the living room. He also got lucky and found some camera shots taken by a bakery that is on the street where you were being followed.

Unfortunately, it has no sound and yet it is more than enough. He saved the recording and censored you on it.You don’t have to be broadcast in video format all over the world.

But it is still clear that he's persecutes you. It is more bad than quite recognizable on the videos that he is angry and that he shouts something, but when you see the video, everything is explained by itself.

That was number one on his list.

Let's continue with point two.

And point two is a summary of all the information he could find that could even remotely involve anything criminal.

And this is a really long list, he can prove everything, he can prove every single point. With all the information that will help.

Videos, chats, pictures, recording of conversations. Locations, meeting places, other names.

Because his plan has changed, and it’s not just about destroying this man anymore, it’s about destroying all the criminals around him.

-

Point two, finish! Now, point three, and that’s the confrontation with the man.

The most important information is in front of him as he puts on his headset and leans back relaxed.

The recording program runs as soon as he turns on his microphone. The recording is automatically converted into the computer voice and then sent as a video along with his sign, the eye, as a gift to his new friend.

He puts one leg over the other and folds his arms in front of his chest.

"Hello Ted, my identity doesn’t matter. All that matters is that you’ve made some serious mistakes, and about this, I will teach you now."

-

And send.

Soon the man’s cell phone will start ringing, and it will only stop when he gets up and then listens to the hacker’s nice message on his laptop, which will breaking his little world in which he lives.

But it’s his own fault.

A look at the camera of his own laptop tells him that you still sleep quietly and calmly, which makes him happy. -

The ringing of the mobile phone and the terrible ringtone of the persecutor annoy the hacker so slowly. He didn’t think it would be that long before Ted wake up. But when it finally happens and a door is opened, a slightly arrogant grin appears on Jake’s face.

It’s Showtime.

"What the hell?" grumbles the sleepy guy as Jake makes the video file pop up.

The eye flickers on the screen and Ted skeptically approaches it.

He pulls back his desk chair and sits down.

"What the fuck?" he hisses angrily and pushes a button on the keyboard.

"Hello Ted, my identity doesn’t matter. All that matters is that you’ve made some serious mistakes, and about this, I will teach you now."

Amused and eager, Jake follows the course of the situation.

Ted becomes more and more hectic, the more facts the computer voice enumerates. He probably didn’t expect this to ever come to light. He wildly presses all the buttons he can find, tries to turn off the laptop but he has absolutely no control over it.

At the very end, after all the crimes have been enumerated, the computer voice informs him that he has video footage of his nocturnal activity.

"That was a big mistake, Ted, and it’s time you understood that you understand how unimportant you are in this world"

-

After Jake has decided to leave Ted alone, with the knowing that he can now say goodbye to his life as he knows it, he move on to point 4.

And point 4 involves sending all the information to everyone who can do something with it. But don't worry, that’s not the finale.

The finale will be something special.

Everything collected is sent first to the police in Duskwood. He doesn’t think much will happen, but the police will certainly not be the agency that will take care of Ted, in the end.

After the police, Jake sends the information to his place of work. He won’t be needing the job in a few hours anyway even longer.

Then his sister gets an e-mail with everything there is about her brother. Because Jake found out that poor girl always had to take care of him. Had to pick him out of the cell at night, had to pick him up of the hospital one or the other time and things like that. Among other things, good Ted broke into her apartment once, but this was not reported to the police. Jake saw in a chat that Ted promised to stop doing criminal things. This didn’t work out that way. The hacker feel sorry for the sister, she certainly doesn’t deserve it and yet this is about more than just that.

And after all the important people have received the information, he finally go to the final, which the hacker is most looking forward to before he can finally return to you.

Back to you, to his bed where you lie, this day can’t be more beautiful, can it?

Well, the morning show on TV sounds good, doesn’t it? The channel is littered with scandals and really unscrupulous means of getting attention.

No one will be angry with him if the actual broadcast is interrupted for a few minutes to do something good. And to appease his vengeance. All he has to do is fade in everything, play the video and the rest would come by itself. The spread on the Internet. The information is forwarded to other authorities like the State Police Authorities as it is about more than just the pursuit after revenge for his love. Gang crime is not liked by the state.

So then, curtain up, the final begins.

-

About half an hour later, now it is shortly before 9  in the morning, the whole took longer than he had expected, he sinks back on the soft mattress. Satisfaction spreads and seeing you sleep so peacefully also makes him tired.

Carefully he pulls the blanket over himself and then grabs again around your body to bring you back into his arms. He hides his head in your neck bend and a few moments he falls asleep with a smile on his face.

He couldn’t stop himself from posting some things on Ted’s Instagram page for his personal feeling. Pictures that Ted prefers not to watch for the Internet, but Jake doesn’t care; in a few hours, Ted will never have access to the Internet again. Hopefully Ted makes friends in prison fast, or it won’t be so funny for him.

Well, don’t mess with the hacker’s love.

----------

When you open your eyes, Jake still lies peacefully asleep beside you.

His hair stands wildly off his head and he has put his arms protective around you. Immediately a feeling of home spreads within you and you smile.

His body nestles warm against yours and you wish you could always wake up like that.

Bu, if you didn’t have to use the bathroom.

Carefully peel out from under his arms without waking him.

With leaving Jake’s arms and getting out of bed, the first pictures of last night immediately come back into your head. A few moments you stare at the wall before you shake your head. You don’t want to think about it. Actually, you never want to have to think about it again, you just want to forget it, focus on everything that’s more important now. And this is you, your feeling that you don’t want to get involved in this situation, you don’t want to leave room for this man. You don’t want him to have room in your life, and you don’t want to investigate any further. Actually, you don’t want to know who this guy is. You just want to focus on how lucky you were, that everything went well, that Jake saved you, and that nothing happened to you.

Jake!

You want to focus on Jake! And most importantly, that you finally want to be with him! He was there to save you right away. He was ready to help you immediately, he protected you, especially the way he protected you. The way he sounded, as if he was doing everything he could to save you. And this irrational fear that this could not work with you two, it’s bullshit! You want him with everything he has and you don’t want to be just friends anymore. You long for his lips, for his kisses that don’t just go on your forehead or cheek. You want to finally be able to say that you are a couple, you want him so badly, so damn badly.

Like a miracle cure, the thought of Jake really distracts you. You didn’t even know where your thoughts went, it just happened. But it always is, it’s just in every corner of your mind.

-

After you left the bathroom, you turned on the coffee machine. You’d stay awake and pass the time until Jake wakes up and you could have some breakfast. While the coffee is cooking, you drop down on the small sofa in the hacker’s living room and decide to pass the time with a little bit TV.

You switch through the channels looking for something interesting but don’t really find something you like.

When the Coffee machine gives you confirmation that the hot drink is ready, you quickly jump up and leave the remote control there.

While you prepare your coffee, you listen to an advertisement about an electronic toothbrush and then one about the latest vacuum cleaner.

With your cup you go back and then put a thin blanket from the sofa around your legs.

The News Show that you sometimes see starts broadcasting.

And you really expected a lot, really a lot, but you never expected what was actually going on.

While the news announcer reports on a gang crime, a picture is displayed. There’s a man to be seen, and you’re a thousand percent sure that’s the man who chased you yesterday.

Silently and with your mouth open you are listening as a whole gang was arrested, warehouses and factories were stormed. Drugs and counterfeit money were confiscated and in the end, how a hacker uncovered all this.

During the narration about hacking another channel and the materials shown there such as images and video, your heart begins to beat faster and faster.

And when it is shown what was published there, you put your hand infront your mouth in shock.

"Oh my-" you watch the camera shots where you can clearly see the street, which is only a few streets away from your apartment.

And then you see a censored shadow running, a few moments later a man.

You and the man who was now identified as Ted.

Jake.

That was Jake, you know it!

You don’t know how to react. While the pictures and videos scare you, since this man met you yesterday, you feel moved to tears on the other side. When the hell did he do that?

Did he do it because of you?

Where does he get so much information? Sure, he’s a hacker but THAT?

When the news anchor finally ends her post with the words "This man will probably never see the light of day again" and "The whole Internet speaks about this man and the victim who was persecuted by him. When you see this, we wish you all well!"

You have the feeling that you are breathing again for the first time. Like you’ve been holding your breath all this time without noticing.

You stutter at things, try to explain, sort out and understand your feelings. But somehow, just like last night, it’s too unreal.

"You shouldn’t know that in this way"

Startled you turn around as Jake’s sleepy voice appears behind you.

He's leaning in the door frame and yawns once.

With an open mouth you stare at him, "Did you-?" but you break off immediately because you have no idea what to say.

"Is everything okay? Shouldn’t I have do that? I wanted to tell you myself but now it’s too late. I wanted to teach you gently," explains the hacker, and his gaze slowly turns into a worried one.

"Did you- I mean- you were -" you stutter, can’t bring out a normal sentence. Point you to the TV, to you and back to Jake.

"I’m sorry, MC, I didn’t mean to hurt you or anything," he explains straight away." It was just, I don’t know, I was so mad! I still am! This disgusting bastard was following you, he-"quickly breaks off. His hands are clenched into fists, his eyebrows pulled together and his breath accelerated. However, he doesn’t want to remind you unnecessarily, even if that didn’t work out so well through the news. He really has to hold back from screaming completely and somehow making sure that Ted gets more than what he already has.

"No Jake, I-I" you just can’t find the right words and before you know it, you threw yourself awkwardly over the sofa, rolled over it and stood two steps later directly in front of Jake. Without control, you reach into his neck with one hand and pull his head down towards you. Not quite gently your lips hit on his.

And just as quickly as the kiss came about, you finish it as quickly.

"Oh, um, I... so.. I-" you laugh nervously, still holding his head. "Um, sorry?"

Jake also laughs nervously.

"I shouldn’t have done that," a little embarrassed, you let go of his neck and kick a few steps away from him.

"No, no, everything was fine, I thought it was great, so I mean-" a slight redness adorns Jake’s cheeks.

"Sorry" you mumble with a much too high voice and try yourself on a grin that probably looks like you’re in pain. Jake makes an waving off hand move, then it’s quiet between you for a moment. You chew on the inside of your cheek and let your foot slide across the floor in a semicircle, "Did you..- Did you say you thought it was great?" You ask as unimpressed as possible, as if it were a question about the weather.

Jake’s eyes grow big, "Did you find it bad?"

"No, no, of course not!" you assure him quickly." It was great, I would do it again and again."

You sigh.

Smiling, you put one hand to your forehead and look back at the hacker. Jake smiles too, and then you start laughing out loud. Until you have to hold your stomach and the first tears run out of your eyes.

"We’re so ridiculous," you chuckle, shaking your head over you two.

"Do you think?" Jake asks, grinning, "I find us great together"

"Me too" you agree and look back at him.

"Jake I-"

"MC I-"

At the same time you start to speak and then both of you are immediately silent to let the other go first.

"Do you first" you offer and he returns it to you.

"No, I’m fine, say what you wanted to say," you confirm.

"I can wait, you start"

You’re twisting her eyes again.

However, Jake understands this wrong and at the same time the magic words leave your lips "I love you"

Masterlist

-

And thank you @a-d-alison your submission gave me a lot of motivation🤭❤️

-

[pandaluc]

Fated To Be Apart; Together By Heart

Pairing: Zhongli x g!n Reader

Genre: fluff, hurt with no comfort

Warnings: mentions of war, death. slight mention of blood and corpse, grammar and spelling mistakes.

Zhongli was a man of composure, sincerity and wisdom. Yes, he often forgets about mora, but his personality is not all that. In fact, he was a loving man. A reason why you had fallen in love with him. He had so many experiences, and you admire him for that. One of his many experiences is death. He had lost so many loved ones, to the point where whenever he meets someone, he will always tell himself to prepare for their death. Because of his years of living, he got used with deaths... but do you think that such will be applied to everyone? Or maybe he secretly prays to the celestial gods to protect and save a particular someone from death? Will the celestial gods hear him?

You and the traveller were friends ever since the two of you talked to each other in Mondstadt. A reason why you were friends is because the both of you are travellers, seeking the same thing - to know more about this unknown god. Ever since the two of you knew this similarity to each other, you would travel Teyvat together. You both were like duos - you would plan things out while they act these plan out..and well Paimon would be the source of your mental strength, cheering the both of you up if times get rough. Alas, you and the traveller reached Liyue, and met this man named Zhongli. Just a day being with him made you look up to him so much. From his words to his beliefs, you. admired them. Even if he did not have mora with him, some part of you admired him for that since he doesn't pay too much...attention, yes, to prices. He was smart, caring, and gentle. Little did you know that that exact moment, Zhongli had also admired your stories and personality.

Time goes by, and you fell for him even more. As if every minute you spend with him, there is warmth in your heart. Everytime you look at his shining eyes, you end up being in awe.. what a beautiful man, you tell yourself. Though you were careful with being in love with him. From what you knew, he was a mortal while you are a traveller of realities being thousands years old. But alas, it has been made known to you and the traveller that he is an archon, alive for more than 6000 years. You felt better with being in love with him, and thought that maybe that is one of the reasons why you felt some strong connection between the both of you.

After you and the traveller saved Liyue, the traveller had to leave you in order to go to Inazuma - a closed nation that unfortunately, you cannot go in. Though you were sad that you have to leave the traveller in Inazuma, you were happy when you realized you could spend more time with Zhongli alone. And so, the both of you did. Each day, the both of you fell more and more in love with each other to the point where you cannot handle your feelings being hidden anymore. So you confessed. Part of you were scared, but you knew Zhongli was mature enough to not let your friendship fade away if ever he doesn't like, no, love you back.

"Does this mean that we break our friendship now?", Zhongli's words startled and hurt you. "Why..? You don't have to love me back, I am alright with that. But why must our friendship be ruined because of my feelings?", you ask him looking straight at his eye as you do everything you can to not let your tears escape your eyes. "If two people become in love with each other, don't they leave the stage of friendship and proceed to be in a relationship together?", Zhongli replied in a stern yet blushing face. Yoh look at him with shock and jokingly hit his chest. "First off, why must you scare me like that? How rude.. And second, where did you learn how to say these kind of things?". A part of you was upset that he had scared you like that, but you still had a wholesome smile in your face, a result of happiness because he had felt the same way towards you all along. Zhongli simply chuckled, which is quite rare, to your flustered state and proceeded to put one arm on the back of your head, pulling you to a hug while your head relaxes against his chest.

And starting that day, you and Zhongli was in a relationship. At first, it was quite awkward. After all, Zhongli never had been into a relationship or at least, been years since he had been into one again. You're relationship was also private. The both of you did not do pda too much. But behind closed doors, Zhongli loves to hug you and put his head on top of yours, relaxing to your embrace as he forgets all of the cruel things in this world. One day, the traveller came back to Liyue to perhaps bring you in Snezhnaya with them, but you preffered to be selfish for once and declined. You still wanted to know more about the unknown god, but at the same time, you are already contented with the life you have with Zhongli. The traveller understood that and made their way in Snezhnaya, you reminding them that if they need anything, they could ask you for help.

Zhongli was quite surprised with your decision. He did not want to be a distraction to your goals, however, you insisted that it is alright. In which he became secretly happy about. He is, after all, very in love with you. So much that no word can describe the amount of love he has for you. As an archon, he had met a lot of people and lost lots. He was used to it, and often times, he would prepare himself if anyone he meets dies. But you. He knew that he was nowhere near prepared to see you dying, or simply disappearing from his life. He wanted you to stay. And he will do everything to do so. May it be strict contracts or bloody fighting, he will do it just so that you will stay alive. He at first thought that it was pathetic for him to act and think like this all because of one person in his life. All because of you. But instead of burying himself with these thoughts, he simply decided to do everything he can to make you stay. Everyday, he thanks the celestial gods for such a wonderful partner and asks them to protect you with all their might.

But alas, all lovely days come to an end. The traveller's experience in Snezhnaya sadly was very complicated. It caused the fatui to attack Liyue and Mondstadt. It caused Venti and Zhongli regret losing their gnosis because now, all they can rely on is human power and celestial gods' mercy to protect their nations...

A lot of people in Liyue proceeded to hide from the fatui, going through mountains and forests just to survive the war going through. The adeptus, as well as those with visions and the traveller, was doing everything they can to help Liyue. You decided to help as well. Zhongli, at first, was hesitant. He did not want you to fight as your chances of dying will increase. All he wanted to do was for the two of you to run, hide, and if anything happens, simply defend yourselves together. But no. A part of you thinks that if only you had went with the traveller, none of this could've happened. You had a tearful argument with Zhongli, just so that he could allow you to fight while he runs, saving himself from the war. Before leaving him in a cave both of you found and hid in, the last conversation you had with him happened.

"Please..dear. Please stay safe. Please do not die on me. I trust you, but I hope you know that I can never manage to lose you."

"Zhongli, my dear, you know that I cannot just leave Liyue to suffer when I have the power to defend the nation."

"But I cannot afford to lose you. I rarely do these type of things, but I am begging you to go back home harmless and safe."

"We both have lived for thousands of years. We both know that this was bound to happen."

"I do know that such is bound to happen, but I am not prepared to lose you. I never want to lose you. I want the both of us to spend each day in our life together. So please, don't just leave me. Promise me that we will still be with each other, together, even after this war."

"I will try."

You refused to look at him as you two had this conversation. But you know he was crying. You know he was suffering. You knew, however, that you need to help defend Liyue. And so, you bid your last goodbye as you left him miserable.

He waited for you. He remained awake at night, hoping to see you just by the cave entrance. But you never came home. However, he still waited. He wanted to keep his promise to you to stay safe no matter what. A day of waiting, turned into three. Three days of waiting had turned into five. Five days of waiting, turned into a week. He trusted you. He listened to you. He prayed to the celestial gods. But he cannot sit in the cave anymore, simply waiting for you. He went outside with his polearm, and tried to find you.

He went to rivers, lakes, and forests but he cannot find you. After a few days of searching, he finally sees you. Your cold rotting body, dried blood all over you, your eyes and mouth open. It was a sight he imagined might happen but he never wanted to see. He ran to you, cupped your face. Uncontrollably, many tears had fallen from his eyes as his hands shake while holding your dead corpse. He lost you. He was too late. He felt stupid. He should've done more to make you stay. And now, you're dead. The one he loved so so much, is now dead on the ground. He screamed, not caring if there is anyone near by or if there are any fatui members that could hear him and kill him. He found life suddenly useless. He found his heart empty, mind filled with so many regrets and memories of the both of you. He thought to himself why must it end this way? He was mad, sad, disappointed... Even if you were dead, he held your cold hands and hugged you for one last time.

What he did not however was that you were still there. That the celestial gods had listened to the both of you - that the both of you will stay together. However, you are only there beside him as a spirit that he is not able to see. You felt horrible. You tried your very best but you failed. And now, the both of you are covered in tears. One decision. Only one decision of yours was what led the two of you to this.

The war had ended. Lots of people died, including you. Ever since the day you died, you followed Zhongli everywhere as a spirit. You would hug him, kiss him, and hold his hand especially when he cries about your death. You know that he won't feel your affections and hear your words, but you stayed with him just like how you would as a human.

Maybe Zhongli became slightly crazy. Maybe he knew that you were a spirit. Maybe it was just his way of coping. But a lot of times, especially when he is alone, he would pretend that you are still with him. Everytime he cooks food, he pretends to talk to you and tell you about his day. Everytime he eats, he always put on two plates on the table, one for him and one for you. Everytime he sleeps, he leaves a space for you and wears a shirt of yours, and hugs the pillow you used to lay on, and he does not decide on washing anytime soon. Even in times where he would take a walk, he would have one hand open, pretending that you are there to hold it. Some had noticed this habit of Zhongli, especially the traveller and Paimon. They would think that such coping mechanism is unhealthy and will just hurt him more. Some also thinks that it is quite delusional of him to do such things. But they preferred not to tell him these because they knew how important you are to him. They knew how your death affected him so much, and decided to just let him be.

Bonus:

He and Childe are still friends in some way. Childe indeed was a part of the fatui, but was against with the war that happened. In fact, he helped the traveller and tried to save you. It was also because of this war why he had left the fatui and hated it instead. Sometimes, Zhongli and Childe would have a conversation together. Childe would even cook for Zhongli at times. And since he knows how Zhongli copes with his loss, he would make sure that there is an empty chair for you anytime, as well as a plate of food meant for you. You can't help but feel sad and happy at the same time. You were sad to see Zhongli like this, miserable and dead inside. But quite, just quite, happy that he still acknowledges your presence even if he does not know you as a spirit, but knows you as a part of his memory and imagination.

Author's Note:

Felt like writing hurt today so here, I feed you this. Archons know how much grammar and spelling mistakes are in this post, so forgive me for that. I don't know if it is sad enough to make people cry, but I wish it is because that is my goal after all. I love y'all and stay safe, have a good day <3 sorry if this is also ooc, i main zhongli but uhh :D i only know osmanthus wine

[softomi]

happier

lyric prompt: then only for a minute, I want to change my mind, cause this just don’t feel right to me. 

song: Happier (Stripped) by Marshmello and Bastille 

pairings: oikawa x reader, osamu x reader

general taglist: @graykageyama

special mentions: @peachysatoru

Thank you for calling Engineering The Mind, please listen to the following options and select the option that applies to you. press one if you are inquiring our Love services, press two if you are inquiring our Mental Health services, press three if you are inquiring our Synaptic Pruning services, please stay on the line for a representative to assist you.

You’ve pressed three, please stay on the line and one of our representatives will be with you shortly.

“Good morning and thank you for choosing our Synaptic Pruning service, could I get your name and date of birth?”

“Actually, I have a question?”

“Yes?”

“If I wanted to erase someone from my memory, am I able to do that?”

“Yes! As long as there is consent from both parties.”

“But can I do it myself?”

“Unfortunately, the procedure requires both parties to consent and participate, the new law states it is considered illegal to synaptically prune another person from your memory without the other party’s consent.”

“Is there a way I can notify the person without personally contacting them?”

“Of course, as long as you know their name, date of birth, and social, then we can reach out to the other party to inform them that you have started the forms for a synaptic pruning procedure and they will have 30 days from the day of their notification to begin their forms.”

“What happens if they reject?”

“If the other party rejects, then unfortunately we cannot move forward with the procedure.”

“Okay. I’d like to start a form and have them be notified.”

“Perfect, let me just quickly get the information of the other party. What is their relationship to you?”

“Ex-husband.”

“Name of the other party?”

“Oikawa Tooru.”

His luggage drags against the airport’s floor, the sunglasses on his face protects against the amount of camera flashes. Oikawa waves to the cameras, waving to fans, momentarily stopping to take in the bustling Japan airport. Home felt so distant for him.

“Is it true you’re here for a procedure?” A reporter is walking alongside him.

Oikawa merely smiles, “No. I’m just here on vacation, I missed Japan so much, the last time I was here I wasn’t able to do many of the things I wanted to. I’d appreciate it if I am treated as any other citizen.”

“There’s rumors that you’re in Japan to possibly be scouted for one of the Japanese teams, care to explain?”

Oikawa stops, staring directly at the camera, “Like I said, I’m here on vacation and on my own dime. I’m here to attend a wedding of a very close friend and have no plans on looking into other teams, but I can assure you, I plan on playing for the Argentinian team for as long as I can.”

“Do you think your previous injury will affect your current position on the Argentinian national team?”

Another reporter manages to squeeze in, “It’s been almost a year since your injury, are you considering retiring your number if your injury doesn’t improve?”

Oikawa laughs. The television screen cuts off. He’s been in Japan for almost a week now, at least that’s all you know of since he had texted you once he had arrived. From what you can gather through social media, he wasn’t in town. He was frolicking through his childhood neighborhood, meeting friends and family who haven’t seen him since the Olympics.

It’s early morning in your home, the sheets hug you with warmth, you’ve been awake for some time and if you were honest, you didn’t think you slept at all. Ever since he’s stepped foot back into the country, you haven’t been able to sleep properly.

The head on your chest stirs and the male’s breathing falls steady back into slumber. His body is entangled with yours, body weight practically all on top of you, and his breathing brings a sense of dread in you for a moment. It feels similar to him.

You lift your arms, holding out your hands in front of you to gaze at the small diamond. It’s tucked between your pinkie and middle finger, it’s bright and beautiful just like he was promising your future with him would be.

He, your current lover; the man you absolutely loved and adored. The man who spent the last five years keeping you sane.

“Osamu.” Your fingers tugged his hair lightly, “It’s time to wake up.”

“Five more minutes.” He tightens his grip around your waist, “I just want five more minutes with you.”

Your finger drags along his spine, “You say that every morning.” You slap your palm on his back and he groans, “You have to open the restaurant soon.”

He hums, eyes blinking, trying to adjust to the darkness. It’s too early in the morning, “You’re going in for a check up today?”

Your fingers that play with his hair stops, “Yes.”

“Are you sure you want to do this?”

It was your decision, something Osamu had reminded you a hundred times. The decision to try and erase someone from your memory; he always found it to be a hard pill to swallow. But it was something you thought about a million times, it kept you awake at night, and even when you called a few weeks ago to start the process, it felt surreal.

Osamu lifts himself, leaning on his forearm to peer down at you, his beautiful bride to be, “I can still close the shop and come with you.”

He was an absolute sweetheart, “I told you I’ll be fine. And you can’t close the restaurant every time I go to the hospital?”

He brings his lips to meet yours, “Is that a challenge?”

You laugh against his kiss, “Go get ready or else.”

“Or else what?” He straddles your legs, pressing kisses on your neck to your chest. His fingers ride up his shirt you’ve declared yours, pressing his lips along your abdomen, “Good morning.”

“Call me if anything happens.” Osamu presses a chaste kiss to your lips at the doorway, “I like you.”

Your lips are in a grin, “and I like you too.”

The door shuts behind him and you’re left alone with your thoughts. If you were correct, you’d be seeing him again. Oikawa should be meeting you at the hospital. You’ve texted him a reminder. It’s marked as read; he doesn’t bother to respond.

The sound of a buzzer makes you jump, it draws you to the look at the video cam that views the front gates. You’re grinning thinking Osamu has forgotten something, but the smile gets wiped off when it’s him. Oikawa Tooru is standing at the gates of your home.

“What are you doing here?” You speak into the microphone.

Oikawa seems to have discovered the camera, “Can’t visit anymore? I thought we could catch up.”

What reason would there be to catch up? If everything goes smoothly, you’ll be without a thought of him in the next few days. You’re reluctant to let him in, you want to tell him to go away, but you’d have to meet him later any way. The gates buzz open and Oikawa enters the front yard of the home.

It’s exactly the same to him, after all, this was his and your home first. The Oikawa residence. He bought the house without your knowledge, saved up as much of his paychecks could get him.

“May I come in?” Oikawa smiles upon seeing you.

You’re holding the front door, still small as ever, like you were guarding the home with your life, “Yes.” Your voice is tiny, giving him room to enter the house.

Oikawa takes in the smell of the place, still the same, still has your scent and he concludes you’re probably still lighting the same scented candles he liked. He wonders if he should be flattered by the information.

“Do you want something to drink?” You inquire, pulling out a mug to pour yourself water and another mug for whatever Oikawa wanted, “Peach tea?”

It was his favorite; you can remember it as clear as day. He’d drink it breakfast, lunch, and dinner. He said it paired nicely with the milk bread and he called it sweet; just like you. You shake the memory as you pour the hot water.

There was nothing but awkwardness between the both of you. You’ve distracted yourself with your morning routine and Oikawa silently sits. If he’s going to fantasize for a second, he’s pretending you’re still his wife. Shamelessly daydreaming like you were his.

“We have to be at the hospital by noon.” You say without looking at him, your head dipping back as you slip the pills into your mouth.

“Sounds good to me.” Oikawa taps his fingers against the dining table.

It brings back memories of dinner with you, on days when he would be able to find a week off practice to see you. You’d eat with him until two in the morning, trying to squeeze in as much time with him as possible before he hopped on a plane back to Argentina, and he would pretend as if he didn’t hear you crying while washing the dishes.

“So how have you been?” Oikawa asks innocently.

You drink the rest of your water, a simple nod of your head, “Fine.” Your gaze falls briefly on his knee, “And you?”

Oikawa instinctively puts a hand over his knee as if that could hide the ache, “Fine too.”

Yet Oikawa and you know, everything was far from fine. It was the same way towards the end of the marriage, communication was blurred, there was too many missed connections, and the only news you’d get of Oikawa was from the sports channels.

“Do you still work at the public library?”

You tilt your head at him, “You mean the university library? When I was doing work study?”

“Oh.” Oikawa rubs the back of his neck, “Guess you’re not”. He’s trying to think why it feels so hard to talk to you again, “How are your parents?”

You freeze and he realizes his mistake. He remembers the arguments, the sadness of the conversations, the way your parents loathed him for proposing so early. Oikawa married you fresh out of high school, he promised you happiness and yet towards the end of the marriage, he shattered your heart.

“They’re great!” You smile, “They really love my fiancé.”

You were purposely trying to hurt him.

“What’s he like?” Oikawa was curious or was he jealous?

“What do you want Tooru?” Your voice is sharp as you set down your mug, “Why are you here?” You know him too well, he doesn’t do things just because; he always has a motive, “Are you here to try and stop me? I want to move on.”

“Then why can’t you do it yourself? Why do you feel like you need to erase me?” Oikawa, he was sad. He had never felt more crushed than when he had received the phone call; you were requesting to remove him from your mind and he’d only accepted to see you again. He wanted you to look him in the face, feel the hurt that he had, “Did you not think of my feelings?”

“No, you didn’t think of mine when you naturalized as an Argentinian citizen.”

It was always the same argument, Oikawa stares at you, it wasn’t that different from years ago. When he blinks, he’s transported to seven years ago. Your eyes red as you looked at him, the fighting was reaching two hours and the bags in Oikawa’s hands signals he’d be leaving for another few month. But this day was different, the fight was wearing you down, especially when you read news of Oikawa becoming a naturalized citizen. Oikawa blinks and he’s back to the sun lit room.

“This isn’t how you move on from a relationship?” Oikawa says, “It takes time.” Time was seven years, since the divorce seven years of broken hearts have passed. Oikawa knows deep down that you still loved him and he knows in his heart that he wants to ask you to run away with him, “You know that this is wrong.”

“But it’s my choice.”

Oikawa’s eyes begin to water, “And you’re making me choose too?” Tears fall from his cheek, “It’s your choice but you’re forcing me to choose also.” His chest becomes heavy, “Please don’t do this.” He openly sobbing in front of you, “I don’t want to stop.” His wail makes your heart clench, “I don’t want to forget what it was like to love you.”

“Tooru.”

“I don’t care.” Oikawa blubbers, “I’m not going to do it.” A pit grows in your stomach, “All I ever did was love you.”

Your eyes glossy, it was like you were going back to the worst nights of your life, “You stopped caring about me.”

“No, I didn’t!” Oikawa stands, “I never stopped. I was doing everything for you!” He was a tearful mess in front of you, “You left me! You abandoned me!”

“You can’t say that when you were halfway across the world!”

“For you!” Oikawa screams, “If you had waited one more year, I could have brought you over.”

You wipe the tears from your face, a sigh on your lips, “Why didn’t you just ask me to go with you in the first place?”

It was always the question that nipped at you. When he was confronted with the opportunity of staying in Japan or joining an Argentinian team, he never hesitated and you waited for him to ask you to go with him; but he left you behind with the house, sending money every two weeks like you were an afterthought.

“It was complicated.” Oikawa’s eyes soften, “I just, I didn’t want you to leave behind your life here. Your friends, your family. You would have had to quit school to come with me, to a place where you didn’t know the language or the place, and with me practicing, you would have no one.”

You shake your head, “No. You were worried about yourself. You made the decision to leave me behind without a second thought because you wanted to focus on volleyball and where has that gotten you; injured.”

Maybe that was why you wanted so badly to erase him from your memories, you still clung to the thoughts of him. Still stayed updated on his life, still worried about his health, still wondering on the what ifs with him. What if you had just left with him? What if you hadn’t gotten married to him? What if you weren’t so hopelessly still in love with him?

“Just let me be happy.” You whisper, “Just let me forget I was ever in love with you.”

The ride to the hospital ached. The cab silent and melancholy. It was only a consultation and yet it already felt like the end of everything. The waiting area didn’t make it any better, the air was thick with tension from other couples. Oikawa’s status had the two of you placed priority and it didn’t take long for a doctor to come into the room.

“I would like to inform you that we use the term ‘erasing memory’ loosely. Our procedure merely detaches you from the other party. You’ll still have the memories, but you won’t feel anything, and you won’t remember them as much as you might today.” The doctor hands you and Oikawa separate forms, “If you both sign the consent forms, we can schedule the procedure as soon as possible.”

The pen in Oikawa’s hands hover over the signature line, he can hear you scribbling against the paper and his heart is shattering. Sloppily, he signs his name on the line.

“Sorry, I forgot to ask.” You look at the doctor, “Is the procedure safe for pregnant women?”

Oikawa’s world crumbles.

“The procedure is set for tomorrow morning.” The receptionist is talking.

You smile, “Perfect, thank you.”

She prints out two different instructions for you and Oikawa to prepare for the procedure. You overlook the instructions, no longer sparing a glance to Oikawa as you walk away.

“Hey.” The voice makes your head snap up. Your fiancé walking towards you.

Instinctively, your arms wrap around his neck, “What are you doing here?”

Osamu presses a kiss to your temple, “I came to pick you up.” He looks over your shoulder, spotting the man he knows too well from various photos, “Hi.” He reaches out to Oikawa, “I’m Miya Osamu.”

Oikawa grips Osamu’s hand, “ Oikawa Tooru. It’s nice to meet you.” Oikawa says bitterly.

Osamu’s hand rests on your hip, in a matter of seconds, he’s leading you away and Oikawa is left to stand all alone.

The night is restless. It’s instructed that you and Oikawa get a good night’s rest, but who can rest soundly the night before a procedure. You sitt on the edge of your bed, your fiancé sleeping soundly, and you stare at the moon. You play with the ring on your finger and a tear lands on the back of your hand. You suck in a heavy breath, trying to quell the sound of sobs.

Oikawa sits knees to his chest on the couch of Iwaizumi’s who was gracious enough to let him stay at his place. The moon is bright, and it shines a spotlight on Oikawa. His eyes are tired, but he stares at the screen of his cell phone, finger swiping continuously through the photo album. Your smiles reflect in his eyes and even when Iwaizumi snags the cell phone from him; Oikawa looks up at him bawling.

Six in the morning, you’re sitting on a hospital bed, Oikawa laid next to you. The silence is deafening.  

“I hope you know.” Oikawa whispers, “I’m very happy for you.”

You look at him, taking in what might be the last time you feel love for him, “I love you.”

Oikawa smiles, “No you don’t,” He’s tricking himself, believing that you loathed him, that this was the better option for you, “but I love you too.”

They say, the longer the relationship, the longer the procedure takes. Similarly, the more you loved, the harder it was to subdue the memories. It required patients to stay awake, to go through every little detail, to talk about everything from the beginning to the end.

Your fingers were initially interlocked with his, something to help the anxiousness, or was it to cling to him for a moment.

“I met you when you came to cheer on the volleyball team in high school.” Oikawa stares at the white ceiling, he hears the machinery, the typing of a computer, “You looked so pretty.” The memory becomes hazy.

“He kissed me on the school’s rooftop.” Your lips curved in a smile, “He kept asking me if it was alright.” Your smile slowly falls to a thin line, “I suddenly can’t remember what I said back.”

“It took me a week to find the perfect ring.”

You laugh, “You got impatient, proposed with a paper ring on the school’s rooftop after we snuck into the school after dark.”

It feels empty, your heart feels a weight lifted. Your fingers slowly let go of Oikawa’s. He begins to weep.

“Why are you crying?” You ask.

He sniffles, “Was that the last time you felt happy with me?”

“No.” Your voice soft, “I was always happy when you came home.” There’s another weight off your heart, “You always came in running, always excited to see me. Sometimes, when the front door opens, I think it’s going to be you.” You’re hit with relief.

Four weeks pass in a blur. You honestly don’t remember much of the week after the procedure, but you stare at your loving fiancé. A hearty giggle on your lips as you move to straddle him on the bed. Your palms are squishing his cheeks and Osamu is chuckling. His hand resting on your small baby bump.

“We’re getting married!” You’re kissing him, excitedly jumping on him as though you weren’t knocking the wind out of him.

“Alright.” Osamu sits up, lips stealing your breath away, “by the end of the day, you’ll be Mrs. Miya.”

You laugh into the kiss, “I can’t wait.”

The wedding venue is bustling, everyone is itching to take a picture with the bride and groom. You’re grinning widely at the way Osamu bickers with his brother, the photographer taking photos despite the twins poking at each other.

“May we take a picture with the bride?”

Your smile grows; four men dressed in their best suits approach, “Is this a high school reunion?”

One man lingers briefly behind, your husband presses a hand to the small of your back before leaving. Oikawa takes over the place of your spouse.

“Fancy meeting you here.” Oikawa tilts his head with a beam.

You roll your eyes, “At my own wedding.”

His voice falls to a whisper, “Are you happy?”

Your eyes stare in the direction of your husband and you nod, “Yes.” When you look at Oikawa, there’s a small tug in your heart, it’s tiny enough that it disappears within moments, “Thank you.” 

[bl00dgutsgl0ry]

The Ghost of You

Pairing - Xiao x reader (wow someone different for once Blood good job).

Warnings - Character death, mentions of violence, very angsty ( ; ω ; ).

Other Comments - Am I reliving my early 2000′s emo phase whilst simultaneously living through Genshin Impact? Absolutely. This is OBVIOUSLY based off the song The Ghost of You by My Chemical Romance  o(≧▽≦)o. I don’t think this is real, but in this Xiao has the ability to see who’s spirit is who’s when he stumbles on a Seelie. Also a little background about my interpretation of the Seelie: I wanted it to be that whenever you guide a Seelie back to its torch you are finally putting that spirit to rest, which is why most of the time you get a chest in return; like a thank you. I genuinely made myself sad writing this so I hope you appreciate this!

      Xiao was infamous for being the stoic and intimidating Adeptus who resided around the Wangshu Inn. There was a brief moment in his life though, where that stoic façade chipped away at something more genuine, but only when he was around the one person he let see it. In the beginning it was a positive change, as he found someone who had truly began to understand him, and bring in this blinding light into his life.

       But all too soon, that light was snuffed out; resulting in a horrible dismay to fall upon anyone who happened to encounter the Conqueror of Demons. No one knew what had happened to the once strong Adeptus who now seemed to be so broken.

      Xiao was no longer the fierce man he knew himself to be, not after the passing of his beloved. The other Adepti didn’t quite understand how strong his connection with his beloved was, but they saw the toll it was taking on him; so they allowed him a break from his duties as they were strong enough to cover for him if they were ever needed. The Adepti were never needed much with the return of Rex Lapis anyway. 

      That was when Xiao had taken this time to wander the lands, trying and struggling to come to terms with this sudden loss. One of his last and best memories being with his darling during the Rite of Parting, watching as their eyes were blown wide in awe; the breath taking scenery of all the lanterns and the fireworks solidifying something in Xiao’s heart. That being his desire to spend the rest of time with them.

      Though unfortunately the thread of fate that held the two together was slashed apart, ripping his dear out of his arms and out of the fantasy he was trying so hard to bury himself in. It was almost like his punishment for letting his sweetheart go, not being able to save or protect them; and at this point he welcomed the punishment of reliving that horrible day over and over in his head.

      He had only seen the ending of your life, as he had been too slow to get there to save you from the Fatui Agents. A Cinic Mage made the final blow as the electricity shot from her palm into your body causing you to convulse. It was as if everything was playing out in slow motion, you falling onto your back, Xiao sprinting towards you screaming out your name, and the mage’s sadistic giggles as she vanished before Xiao could do anything to her.

      “No! No no no! (Y/n) you cannot go! I refuse to let you go!” Your eyes were still rolled into the back of your head as the overwhelming amounts of electricity consumed your being. Your shaking body being held tightly in Xiao’s arms. For the first time in the Adeptus’ life, he began to cry. There lay the love of his life, convulsing in his arms with nothing able to be done. He had never felt more helpless. He was supposed to be helping you, keeping you safe and protected.

      Xiao couldn’t remember when your body stopped moving in his arms, but when he realized this, you were already gone. Only then did he wake up from the flashback. He didn’t know how long he had been sitting in the middle of some random field in Liyue, but it was probably too long as it was already pitch black out besides the light glow of scattered lanterns far off in the distance.

      He couldn’t sit there forever, it would be to pitiful a sight. Walking was the best option for him, trying to keep his mind off of the memories as he scanned his surroundings. As he looked over the pathways in front of him, his eyes caught a soft blue shine a little further forwards. Part of him already knew what it was and the other part of him dreaded the answer.

      Xiao let himself jog up to the glow, and his suspicions confirmed themselves when he came face to face with a Seelie. His heart dropped to his stomach, as he watched and felt your soul dance around him. On one hand, he was excited to be able to at least feel your presence once again, but on the other hand its been months since your passing, have you really been wandering around all that time?

      While deep in thought Xiao felt something cold yet incredibly warm and comforting press against the palm of his hand, and when he looked down he saw that the Seelie was pressing it’s ‘head’ up against him. In comfort or just in a simple greeting he could not tell but he was ecstatic none the less. 

      “(Y/n) I am so sorry... I let you down. I did not protect you like I promised to. It’s all my fault that this happened, I miss you so much.” As Xiao spoke he lowered his head, tears filling his eyes once more. He didn’t want to make you see him cry, especially since out of the two of you he was obviously the better off one. The atmosphere suddenly changed, and as the sorrowful man raised his head, he was shocked to find a familiar pair of eyes looking at him. There you stood before him, ethereal. Xiao had to make sure he wasn’t going crazy.

      “(Y/n)…” The man’s voice was hardly about a whisper as he breathed out your name. A soft smile found its way to your lips.

      “It was never your fault Xiao. I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. There was nothing you could’ve done to save me.” Your soft voice felt foreign to Xiao’s ears. It had felt like eternities since he had last heard it.

      “Now please my darling, I will see you once your duties have been fulfilled. Take your time here, and protect Liyue. I know Rex Lapis had returned but that doesn’t mean you can stop doing what you promised to do.” Tears fell down the dark haired man’s face. Xiao was dreading having to lead you to your torch but he knew you had to move on.

      “Until we meet again my dearly beloved.” You were gone all too soon. Body faded off into the moonlight, as the Seelie settled itself down in it’s rightful place. A small chest suddenly appeared as Xiao opened it with delicacy. Inside was a locket he had given you the night of the Rite of Parting. And for the first time since your passing, Xiao allowed himself to smile.

      “Until we meet again my dear (y/n).”

[xxwritemeastoryxx]

Let It In

Gif for the celebration, my thought process is maybe instead of Niklaus being in Elijah arms it’s the reader. Maybe she switched her humanity off so Lijahs forcing her to turn it back on. I hope that all makes sense

Author: xxwritemeastoryxx

Pairings: Elijah Mikaelson x Reader

Word Count: 1.3K

Warnings: Mentions of character death. 

Author’s Note: Here’s some angst for you. I’m still working on my 1500 gif drabbles. But even then it seems I can’t really keep anything under 1k XD This was submitted by the lovely @xxqueenofgamesxx​

Feedback gives me life and motivation for future things. ♥

“Stop trying to save me!” You yelled out as you turned to face Elijah. “I’m not some broken toy you can just glue together with your words.”

For the last year, Elijah had been trying so desperately to get you to turn your humanity back on. Any time he’d come even a fraction close to getting you to flip the switch back, you’d take off not wanting to deal with it. A trail of bodies left in your wake as you left.

This time he had you cornered, no doubt with the help of his sister. The barrier spell surrounding both of you in this small space was one of her specialties. And at that moment, you hated Freya even more than you had since you flipped your switch.

“I have never thought of you as some toy, Y/N.” Elijah said keeping his voice calm as he took a step towards you. “You are my wife and I made a vow to not only love you but help you and keep you safe. That includes getting you your humanity back.”

A dark chuckle passed your lips as you shook your head. “I have been safe. No danger has come to me in years. If I remember correctly, I asked you to join me on this side of things, but you turned me down.”

You hadn’t missed the fact that he had been closing you in even more. You hated that he was and that you couldn’t get away from him. Elijah knew why you had asked him to switch off his humanity. He was the only one that could get you to flip it back. Especially since he was the only one who shared the pain you shut out.

“You had your reasons for shutting it off, Y/N.” He said shaking his head. “It was a hard time for both of us. But you were the one that was hurt by it the most and I didn’t do anything to help you or to stop you from making that decision and I regret it.”

You huffed. “I’d say since then, I’ve been doing just fine. Better even.” You said as a smirk pulled at your lips.

“We both know that isn’t true.” He said as he took one final step towards you, having you stuck in the corner of the room with the wall against your back. The space between you minimal as you looked up at him. “Once you let your humanity back in, Arick’s death would consume you-”

“Shut up, Elijah.” You said cutting him off as you narrowed your eyes at him. “Neither of us has spoken his name since that night and I’d prefer it that way. Might as well let that memory go with all the hurt, right?”

At your words, it was Elijah’s turn to narrow his eyes at you. “Arick was our son, Y/N. You cannot just erase him. Yes, his death was tragic and I have done everything in my power to ensure those that killed him were killed by my own hands. But you will not be the one to make it seem like he does not exist.”

Elijah had tried to keep his voice calm as he spoke to you. But he couldn’t stop the anger that came out of his words towards the end. You hadn’t missed it either. And that part of you that was hanging on to that off switch couldn’t help itself.

You kept yourself calm as you leaned up and brought your lips right next to his year. A devilish smirk pulled at your lips. “It’s your fault he’s dead in the first place. If only you cared less for your brother, our son would still be alive.”

The moment Elijah pushed you back, you couldn’t help but chuckle. You saw the hurt in his eyes and it didn’t bother you one bit. His eyes searched yours the moment the chuckle subsided. All he could see within them was emptiness. The flicker of hurt he saw moments before at the mention of your son was gone. But that didn’t stop him from trying again.

“What would he say if he saw you as you are now?” He asked.

Between the three of you, you always assured each other that facing the pain was a lot better than flipping the humanity switch. Especially for immortals such as yourselves. Unfortunately, Arick wasn’t an original vampire.

While born before both of you had transitioned, it wasn’t until Arick was older that you turned him. His first several years of life had been hard for both you and Elijah when it came to your bloodlust with turning. But you somehow managed to control yourselves a lot better than his siblings had.

Arick hoped that he nor his parents would become bloodthirsty as his aunts and uncles. It was a promise that the three of you had made after you turned him. And if Arick had seen you now, he’d be disappointed.

You rolled your eyes as you pushed him back, attempting to get some room between the two of you before walking around him. His arms came around you and his hold tightened as you tried to fight him off. The strength between the two of you making it difficult for either of you to win against the other.

“You loved him, Y/N.” Elijah said as you struggled against his hold trying to block out what he had been saying. “Yes, it was my fault you two were in that position in the first place. You shouldn’t have watched our son die.”

A memory that you had longed to forget had made its way into your mind. The way you had watched as your son struggled to get himself free from his captors. But the vervain that had been running through his system had made him weak, just as the very thing had done to you. But watching as the enemy had staked him right in front of you, had broken you in ways that you hadn’t believed you could ever be.

“Let go of me, Elijah.” You said through clenched teeth as you fought against him.

His hold had tightened, and part of him believed because it had been because you were breaking. “I will not let go.” He said as keeping his own emotions in check. Bringing up his son’s death wasn’t the easiest thing. And while he would be willing to express those feelings, this was all about you. “I will never let go.” He promised.

You shook your head trying to get the thoughts in your head out. But no matter how much you fought, Elijah’s hold on you tightened. And at some point, he moved his hand on top of your arm, just enough to allow a connection between minds.

Memories flood your mind. The memories of Elijah seeing you with their son. The way you cared for and protected him. Everything up until he turned he brought it to you. And the last thing he showed you was how broken you looked when he found you holding your son’s body. There was hurt and hatred in your eyes as you looked up at him. Through the memories, the pain being relived though it.

A cry of pain left your lips the moment Elijah stopped. You had stopped fighting against him and you slumped against him. He never once removed his arms from around you, wanting to comfort you as you let in every emotion that you refused to acknowledge.

“I’ve got you.” He promised as he held you, wanting you to know he wasn’t going to leave your side any time soon. This was the first step in getting you back and he was going to make sure that you wouldn’t find yourself wanting to go back to the numbness you had sought out.

Always & Forever Tag: @taylordrunkonwhiskey​ @thewolf-and-thesheep​ @wayward-dan​ @neeadinghugs​ @fafulous​ @kenmen02​ @elizamonet​ @dora-the-grownup​ @mschellehitt​ @xanderling​ @fandom-princess-forevermore​ @buckysarm4​ @hi-my-name-is-riley​ @helenasingers​ @alka16555​ @hellotvshowtrash​

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The Originals Tag: @zillahvathek​ @obsessedwithvampires​ @alien-sida @mikaelson-emma​

[aelaer]

First: welcome home & I hope you get the sleep you need to get back into your routines! Second: it's Feb. 2, a significant day to our beloved Stephen Strange. I know you're exhausted right now, and the timing is poor--but perhaps when you're up to, you could write a little one-shot about his feelings all these years later (is it 2022 or 2023?) on the anniversary of the accident that changed his life forever. Can't think of anyone better suited to write it! xx

This was sent a year ago but last month I planned to have it out for Feb 2nd, hah.

For canon, he comes back in 2023 in what I think was likely after Feb 2nd, so realistically he can address the anniversary again in 2024. It'd feel like only 3 years for him while, in actuality, it'd been 8. But when it comes to his experienced time versus actual passing time, Stephen's pretty messed up without the Decimation already (I'm not sure how I feel about the name of the "Blip" yet.)

The prompter also requested first person after I asked for more details, and I haven't ever written Stephen in first person so I thought I'd give it a go. I know first person isn't everyone's cup of tea, but if you're willing to give it a shot, call me very obliged.

Warning for canon compliance :P

——————

Staring Back In Time Rating: G (well, other than language)

An entry from the memoirs of Doctor Stephen Strange, Earth's Sorcerer Supreme, during his time as the Master of the New York Sanctum, several months after the Battle of Earth against Thanos:

February 2, 2024

Calendars don't mean as much as they used to. Once upon a time my life was ruled by the calendar. Consultation here, surgery there, society dinner over the weekend. Dates were important and generally set without change once marked down.

It doesn't work that way as a sorcerer. I keep a schedule, of course, one that marks down classes with apprentices and adepts and meetings with other Masters, never mind all the business outside of Kamar-Taj. But I learned early on that these set times shifted occasionally to accommodate the emergencies that the order often had to quash down, and it became obvious that as a Master, my schedule was more of a hopeful guideline than anything set in stone. Flexibility was a necessity.

Ever since my return to the living, keeping anything resembling a set schedule has been more of a laughable dream. Earth being the center of two universe-changing, Infinity Stone-powered events in a matter of hours did serious damage to the fabric woven about reality across the planet, and the Masters of the Mystic Arts are going to be dealing with the multidimensional repercussions for years to come. Nothing is predictable in my day-to-day anymore.

My relationship with time was fucked the moment I confronted Dormammu, so I can't say it's a large surprise that calendars have become mostly irrelevant.

If someone had told me that I, Doctor Stephen Strange, a man of order and precision, would learn to live with such unpredictability, I would have laughed in their face. But I'm not the man I once was (and thank God for that; that man was a dick). However, it's also because of this change that I didn't realize the day until it was nearly done.

I was reviewing my schedule for tomorrow, which I had set up on Google Calendar (Google had, naturally, survived the Decimation just fine, but like most other non-vital services, had many of their upcoming products delayed for years. But their email and calendar services continue to work great). Tomorrow's a Saturday, which means nothing in my world. My work continues on. The threats on our reality care little for weekends or holidays.

Still, it was only during this review, shortly before I planned to retire for the night, that I realized that today is February 2nd.

I won't ever forget the day, of course. It was both three years ago and eight years ago—or perhaps many lifetimes ago would be a more accurate description, though I lost track of time in both of my major journeys with the Time Stone. One day I'll write about them. Not now, but one day. Both memories are still too fresh.

The memory of the day of the accident, though? It feels both like yesterday and centuries ago. Some parts of the day are engraved in my memory like a film. I remember the last surgery down to the individual conversations. Christine's "thank you". Nick's watch. The cling of the bullet as I dropped it onto the tray.

I can remember my last conversation with Billy, too, in the car. Every damned word. But the drive itself is fuzzy, even in my head with my memory. I remember it began to rain during the drive, not beforehand, and I know the road was narrow and two-laned. I know I avoided a direct route to avoid traffic, driving first into Jersey before heading north and crossing the river again. But the rest is forgotten to time, or perhaps to trauma.

I was told that Billy was the first to call 9-1-1 as he heard the tearing of metal and shattering of glass before the connection was lost. The driver I hit—I learned much later that she escaped with only minor injuries—called a couple minutes later. But it was out in the mountains, dark, and raining. It took them hours to find me and extract me from the car.

Funny. Never thought I'd ever write about one of the worst days of my life like this. But I was told early on that personal journals were encouraged for all who stay in Kamar-Taj. Something about its therapeutic benefits was mentioned at some point. I only picked up the practice once I learned that each gifted journal was inaccessible to others until the time of their death, and after I mastered the art of enchanting a pen to write the words I spoke. Unfortunately this journal appeared to others after the Decimation, but Wong has reassured me that no one read it and it has since disappeared again from public view. 

Still, the point is that, one day, someone just might read this—account of a man who was part of an effort to save the universe. And it is difficult for a reader to judge my actions if they don't know how I was the one who ruined my life. My driving was reckless and stupid. I was running a little late, but it wouldn't have mattered in the long run had I been fifteen, twenty minutes, thirty minutes late. Not really.

Then again, I suppose it would have. I certainly wouldn't be here right now.

One could say that the accident and everything that has followed is some sort of penance for my hubris as a surgeon. I enjoy my newer abilities—quite a bit—but the responsibility that has come with them has not come without its own hardships and sacrifices. Perhaps the worst of the sacrifices were the ones I was unable to prevent others from performing, all for the sake of the universe.

Those sacrifices were made willingly, but I cannot help but feel responsible for them, regardless. 

During my first winter again returned to the living, when the days grew colder and my hands ached in the bad weather, and the only thoughts to accompany the pain were bitter, another thought was born. I was tempted, for the first time in a long time, to give it all up, restore my fine motor skills with channeled magic, and go back to the world I once knew, for a life much, much easier than this one is now. Even with all the troubles that had cropped up as people tried to reorganize a world that doubled in size overnight, it was miles away from the difficulties we were facing in Kamar-Taj.

Their sacrifices—the fates I pushed so many people towards—quelled the idea quickly. It did little to ease the physical pain or sting of guilt, but it lifted the temptation. And ever since that day, I have considered the situation and I don't think I will ever be tempted by the idea of giving up my duties for an easier, pain-free life again.

And I suppose that counts for something.

——————

(Hey look, my interest in geography's leaked again.)

I've always wondered where Stephen actually crashed mostly because New York City is *flat* and those mountains were *very much not flat*. I figured out the bridge that he crossed to get out of the city (there are like, 21 bridges that lead out of Manhattan) was the George Washington Bridge, and it leads to New Jersey—but that's not necessarily useful because it can quickly turn back into New York state if you turn north. We also know he crashed down into a body of water, which *might* be the Hudson, but also might not, but that the body of water is to his left, which narrows it down a bit. But again, not much. And the site of his crash is so dark in the videos and screenshots that I can barely tell what's on it. It looks like a bridge and some industrial building, so the Hudson's a good guess, but otherwise? Well, basically I turned on the topography part of Google maps and started searching.

The 202 on the east side of the river just north of Peekskill (again in New York) matches the movie road's windiness, height, and closeness to the river, and even has a bridge that could be just to the north of the crash site. Unfortunately the railing's off and there's no industrial building thingy by the bridge. It also makes the route out of the city via George Washington Bridge make no sense. Like the Stark Industries area in LA in the films, it's probably a completely fictional landscape.

But as I wasn't able to find a better locale that was still close enough to NYC to direct an emergency helicopter to, my headcanon for this scene is that he left via George Washington bridge to avoid some major traffic or something, crossed the river via the 287 a bit further up north to get back to the east side of the river, then went up the 9 to the 202. Unless someone who lives in the area can find the actual road he was driving (if it's real), this is what I'm gonna go with. (And if someone DOES please let me knowwwww). Funny enough, I don't see him getting led to *his* hospital totally unrealistic, because he'd need a very talented orthopedic surgeon with a specialty in hands to come in, and generally speaking a patient can be helicoptered to another hospital where such a surgeon is available. If Stephen is working at the Metro-General, it's likely they can afford a large cast of talented surgeons. So I don't think Nick was necessarily the lead surgeon in his case, just one of many necessary surgeons.

[coke-and-candy]

Fashion Editorial Special: Audrey Bourgeois

Inspired by this post link by @purrincess-chat 

Lila put herself out there in the public domain, and just because Marinette’s class and teachers might be stupid enough to fall for her lies, doesn’t mean that there aren’t adults out there who are...

The question was who? Who is critical and vicious enough to do so and has a HUGE audience to say things to, and who works closely with the modeling and fashion worlds and actually knows what they’re talking about...? 

Why! Madame Audrey Bourgeois! The Queen of Fashion herself. So please put on your best Devil Wears Prada reading hats on and enjoy as Audrey takes no prisoners. 

------------

“Gabriel Agreste Losing His Mind and Sense of Taste”

By Audrey Bourgeois

Published: 9/15/20XX

It is no secret in the fashion world that since the mysterious disappearance of Emilie Agreste, famous Parisian actress, model, and wife of Gabriel Agreste—the man who had single handedly built the Gabriel brand from the ground up—the once envied designer had shut himself away from the world. Living the life of a recluse and refusing nearly any physical human interaction.

That is not to say that the man had lost his ability to design and to run his business, he just now does it all from the Agreste Manor in Paris, France. According to sources he now mostly conducts business meetings via videoconference calls and oversees the employees of this fashion empire via his ever-present and faithful assistant, Nathalie Sancoeur.  It was not until a little over a year after the disappearance of his beloved wife that Gabriel Agreste, at last, decided to grace the world with his presence. Appearing, for the first time in public, at the Gabriel Spring Fashion Show, where his own teenage son and Paris heartthrob, Adrien Agreste (age 15), was walking the catwalk modeling one of the newest spring suits and featuring a stylish bowler hat, designed by a talented and young up-in-coming designer, Marinette Dupain-Cheng (age 14).

Despite certain incidents that occurred on that day. Part of which was caused by the gross oversight Gabriel Agreste (a first sign to be sure). The show could still be considered a success and did showcase to the rest of the fashion world that Gabriel Agreste’s talent and designing abilities still reigned supreme and are still a force to be reckoned with, regardless of any personal issues he may be facing in private.

It seemed as if Gabriel was making small steps towards the acceptance in his single life.

Turns out this one moment of public interaction may have been the first cry for help.

His latest decisions in regards to just WHO represents his brand have been nothing but questionable and completely and ridiculous, utterly ridiculous.

This past season Gabriel had introduced a new face to its teen fashion line. One Lila Rossi (age 15).

At first it seemed as if this was simply a pity shoot for one of Adrien Agreste’s little schoolmates, as they both attend the same school and are in the same class.

But, alas, this was tragically not the case.

Despite her clear lack of ascetic taste, especially when it came to her own hair. Really, someone should tell that poor child that hanging two sausages on both sides of her face not onlyfails to come across as ‘trendy’ but it sends an ENTIRELY different message.

I’m both surprised and appalled her mother would leave the house with that style.

I certainly would never allow my own child to been seen like that in public.

Unfortunately, that first shoot was only the beginning as Ms. Rossi has appeared alongside fellow model, Adrien, in three more shoots and a commercial that pathetically tries, and monumentally fails, in portraying them as a young couple in love.

I have worked in fashion long enough to be able to spot what works and what does NOT a merely a glance. But one does not even need to be an INTERN to recognize that the dynamics between Adrien Agreste and Lila Rossi is so utterly ridiculous to the point a shutter of nausea courses through one’s body.

While Adrien continues to hold his own in the modeling world, despite the large shadows that both his parents cast, he is able to shine on his own merit and truly does have the looks and talent to model and act (no doubt traits he inherited from his mother). The same cannot be said for Lila Rossi.

Lila Rossi’s whole look (if you can call it that) is simply not genuine. I have worked in this industry long enough to be able to tell the diamonds apart from the rhinestones. Lila Rossi may want for people to believe that she is a diamond, but she is, without a doubt a rhinestone. Cheap, easy to produce, and a one in a billion find. Oh, sure she may have charm and charisma to carry some solo stock picture photo shoots but in order to make it in the Fashion World one requires to have a certain light and spark that stands on its own.

To put it simply, this girl has no discernable personality. Her expressions are stagnant, as if she had to practice being human, her posing leads me to believe she is merely trying to look good for the camera instead of working to display the clothing and products in their best light, and she has close to no versatility in any of the photo-shoots she has done as all of her pictures can be simply described as her in different outfits but using the exact same four expressions over and over again.

When I say the same expressions, I mean—THE EXACT SAME.

The Sophia robot emotes more human emotion than Rossi.

It is Adrien who carries the shoots and is doing the lion shares of the work while Lila Rossi does her best to APPEAR like a model. To put it simply—she is NOT.

Her hair is just one issue, but it her overall presence that just scream ‘Fake’.

A picture is worth a thousand words, and unfortunately, there are many pictures to choose from.

In the very first photo-shoot that was done with Adrien as her co-model you can easily see the disparity between the two. While Ms. Rossi seems more than happy to be in a loving embrace by one of Paris’ most eligible young bachelors, the same cannot be said for the young Agreste heir. There is an obvious tension in his body language that does not show in any of his other photo-shoots, including ones where he and another model were portraying romantic feelings for those ads. The untrained eye can see the slight curve of his spine, as if he wishes to get away but can’t, the small tension in his smile that screams, “I don’t want to be here but I have a job to do”.

My final verdict to the latest photo-shoot from the Gabriel name, that once more featured Adrien Agreste and Liar Rossi, was that is was ridiculous, completely and utterly ridiculous!

Inside sources on location where the two teens have modeled have also confirmed that there does not seem to be any natural chemistry between them and that Adrien had picked up a habit of making himself scarce until he is needed. Other sources verify that Lila Rossi seems to cling to him as much as possible. Perhaps, in the hopes that someone will confirm her own pathetic delusions of the possibly budding relationship between the two of them?

And my does this girl have a number of delusions.

Not counting the one where she THINKS she can model.

According to several interviews that this girl has given to the sub-par tabloid blog, TheLadyblog, she claims to be the best friend of the Parisian super-heroine, Ladybug. Claims to have connections to multiple high-profile celebrities such as Jagged Stone and Clara Nightingale. Going as far as to claim that Jagged Stone even wrote a song about her. Lets ignore the legal implications of a man in his early thirties writing a song about a child for a second and continue examining more of said child’s claims.

According to another interview she gave on the same trashy blog, she claimed to be involved in multiple charitable organizations and causes, citing different projects that she has ‘supposedly’ helped with and oh so humbly placed most of the successes of those projects on her shoulders.

An official statement from Gabriel has stated that the girl has multiple health issues as well and is an inspiration on her abilities to overcome those obstacles in order to model and her other so-called various charitable actions. Very, well we won’t pry into a minor’s personal health.

Her public life, however, now that she is in the public domain is fair game.

It did not take even twenty minutes of searching to find absolutely NO validity to any of her claims.

Her claims of being a close personal friend of Ladybug: FALSE

-      The timeline does not match her arrival to Paris with her family. Nor does allow for ample time to establish any sort of close friendship.

-      Ladybug herself has the sense to never reveal anything about her personal life, but a little nobody is more than happy to broadcast their ‘supposed’ friendship on a blog that could once claim to be the best source for information on Paris’ two heroes? I think not.

-      Eyewitnesses from when the girl was Akumatized into Chameleon and subsequently defeated on the Eiffel Tower stated that Lila Rossi seemed to hold animosity towards the red clad heroine.

-      Ladybug has made no statements in knowing Lila Rossi and there has been no photo documentation of the two seen together, even though Ladybug can be seen almost daily swinging around and running along Paris’ rooftops with Chat Noir.

Her claims about Jagged Stone writing a song about her because she saved his kitten on airport runway: FALSE

-      Jagged Stone has never owned a kitten according to his personal assistant, Penny Rolling, and his exclusive interview with La Mode three years ago that revealed that the only pet he ever had other than his current pet crocodile, Fang, was a dog as a child in the States.

-      A quick Internet search also reveals that Jagged Stone and Lila Rossi have never even been in the same country together until four months ago. The rock star was still on tour in America while Ms. Rossi was in Paris, France.  The date of the Ladybloginterview is time stamped long before then.

Her claims to helping inspire and help co-write Clara Nightingale’s last album: FALSE

-      Countless interviews with the pop singer, and official statements upon the release of her album, Heart of Gold, will reveal that the inspiration for said album was her grandmother in her native home country of Brazil.

-      This was also the first album that Clara had written completely on her own in order to establish her own unique flair.  

-      I personally reached out to Clara herself and confirmed that she has never, met or even HEARD of a Lila Rossi. Strange? One would think that such collaboration would ensure that one of the parties involved would at least remember the other’s name?

Her claims to travel with Prince Ali of the Kingdom of Achu for environmental charitable work: FALSE

-      Again, a quick Internet search of the Prince’s official website and bio lists all of the organizations he is involved with. All of which focus primarily on children such as the International Coalition for Equal Opportunities, the World Health Organizations vaccinations drive, and the Refugee Children’s Fund to name a few.

-      A quick call to the royal family’s publicity affairs office confirmed that Prince Ali had never been in contact with Lila Rossi and are now looking into the matter for themselves. After all, an unknown person cozying themselves up to the second in line to the throne is matter of GREAT interest to the Royal Head of Security.

Her other claims of travel to international destinations in the middle of the school year: FALSE

-      According to the Italian Embassy’s official website Mademoiselle Maria Rossi had been stationed in Paris since her arrival almost a year ago and has not left the country, other than for a few short trips back to Italy to visit family members.

Her claims in having trained in gymnastics, ballet, and figure skating and even going so far as medal in gold in all three at major competitions in Italy: FALSE

-      Again, a quick Internet search reveals all winners of the top twenty major competitions in Italy for the past fifteen years. Names, age, date, and location of the competitions are easily and readily available to the public. NOTHING about Lila Rossi winning gold in any sort of athletic competition.

Her claims of being invited to have tea with her Royal Majesty, the Queen of England: FALSE

-      Any and all of the Queen o England’s engagements are public records as well as very well documented. Surprise, surprise there is NOTHING about a Lila Rossi mentioned in any credible new source, or even a single tabloid blurb. The only thing to sustain such a claim is the word a child who actually believes that her jacket looks good in light of day.

Honestly, I could go on and on and even be able to write a whole book. This girl has told so many tall tales she makes elected officials seem honest.

So let this be clear to the world of Fashion.

Lila Rossi is nothing more than a liar.

A liar who had only as gotten as far as she did because she was lucky enough to find someone with a decent online following that was both gullible and stupid enough to post those interviews online without ever once providing additional sources to verify them or double checking those claims. It was not that difficult disclaim every single one of those interviews.

I timed myself and it did not even take me my lunch break to do so.

The very fact that this girl is supposed to be the lead female teen face of Gabriel makes me question Gabriel Agreste’s sanity. Does he honestly think that having Rossi represent his brand is the smartest thing to do?

There clearly must be something in the water in Paris if Gabriel Agreste had not even bother to run a simple background check on the girl in order to ensure that there were no skeletons in the closet that would haunt his brand. Turns out she did not have any, but she sure did purposely create them.

I have to congratulate Monsieur Agreste on this achievement though.

Never have I seen the credibility of a designer go from as set in stone, to as questionable as a ‘designer gown’ bought in a Sale-Mart so quickly. What other decisions is he making behind the scenes that will further clue us in to his mental decline. Will the next Gabriel Show feature plaid parachute pants with matching toucan bird print dress shirts?

Yes, it seems as though grief has finally come to claim another once brilliant designer if he is unable to see past the paper-thin façade that Lila Rossi believes will be able to get her through this world. All the signs are there in same hideous orange Rossi insists on wearing.

Clue number one should have been her clear lack of any substance, versatility, and talent after the first photo-shoot she appeared in. The transparent aversion his own son has shown towards a fellow classmate should have been clue number two. And finally, clue number three should have been that this girls climb to fame was all due to a tabloid blog, TheLadyblog, run by the amateur journalist of all amateurs journalists that could not even be bothered to check their sources.

Or Google for that matter…

Gabriel has been known to take certain risks in the past, but the decision to hire Lila Rossi is nothing more than a mistake.

For the sake of all of our ocular senses, both Gabriel Agreste and Lila Rossi are clearly in need of psychiatric help.

The sooner, the better.

-----

Yay, nay? What did you guys think of this little Fashion Editorial by the Queen of Fashion of the Miraculous universe. Any thoughts. This was just so much fun to write I am so doing a follow-up to this. 

[princess-cordelias-writingblog]

Your Dark Side Pt.7 (Void!Stiles xReader)

A/N: The end! I did my best. I’ll make an epilogue and I’ll post it soon just to sort of close the whole story nicely :) -Danny

Words: 3,035

Warnings: Do I need to tell you what’s coming? I didn’t proofread this but I know you’ll find a way to forgive me. See you in the epilogue! :)

@all-alone-he-turns-to-stone @nitnat6245​ @big-galaxy-chaos @linkpk88

Previous Part // Epilogue

There was the sound of swords and kicks and yelps as Kira, Isaac and Allison fought against the Oni. Lydia had gone inside the building to retrieve Stiles and Scott. 

Void and Y/N were sitting side by side, the former looking at the scene with a mocking smirk, the second merely glancing at the ones who once were her friends, her head tilted to the side in mild interest.

“How do we stop them?!” Isaac asked in frustration.

“You can’t!” Yelled Kira’s mom.

“But,” Void said quietly, “I can definitely stop you.”

He grabbed Y/N by the back of her head and pulled her closer, she moved like a rag doll, completely at his mercy, the Nogitsune leaned and whispered, his mouth right against her ear. 

“Your turn, sweet thing,” He looked at the group with a triumphant smile. “Go play with the big kids...”

Y/N’s mouth twisted onto a monstruous grin, she looked back at them, standing up with the same air a cat would lift itself to catch a prey.

“If I were you,” She started, slowly moving towards Isaac. “I would stay very still while I finish you. I really don’t want to stain my clothes with your blood.”

“Don’t worry, you won’t get to touch any of us,” Isaasc growled. 

He was wrong, though. As soon as he launched forward Y/N slidded to his side, her nails growing abruptly and scratching accross his abdomen with ease. Isaac gasped, falling to his knees in shock.

“You ruined my nails,” Y/N pouted, carelessly cleaning her fingers on one of the Oni’s. “You’ll pay for that.”

She stepped back while Isaac stood up again, forcing himself to get up. Two Onis stood in front of the girl and attacked Isaac at the same time, Kira tried to knocked Y/N, but the girl was way faster now, for the first time in her life, Y/N wasn’t depending solely on her human strenght. She was something else, a blind, cold-hearted copy of who she used to be.

One firm punch to her friend’s chest and Kira flew across the place. Y/N walked up to her decidedly, and kicking her back to the ground when Kira tried to stand, and punching her in the face when she tried to push her away.

“You see,” Void stood up, looking at Y/N with satisfaction. “I know Stiles told you I was feeding of her, and he’s right, I was feeding of her. But she was feeding too, just different.”

Allison kept shooting arrows as fast as she could, Isaac was barely keeping it together. Kira and her mother were not doing great either.

“Y/N has feed of my own inmortality. Unfortunately for you, that means she got a few of my abilities, though they’re weak copies of my own powers, they work just fine on weak little trash like you. What I see,” He pointed to his eyes, then to her. “It’s what she believes. And all I see are enemies that need to be destroyed.”

“Y/N! Snap out of it!” Isaac yelled in anger. 

“Y/N, please wake up!” Allison tried. “We’re us! We’re your friends! We came for you!”

“No no,” Void raised his eyebrows. “No... you came to kill me. Tell me, Y/N,” He raised his voice, glancing at the girl. “Do you want to kill me?”

Y/N straighten on her place, her empty eyes searching for Void. Her expression changed into genuine sadness.

“Kill you? I would never hurt you, Stiles.”

 Void’s smile widened. “That’s what I thought.”

“He’s not Stiles, Y/N!” Kira shouted through her swollen lips. “He’s the Nogitsune, he’s playing with your head! Fight back!”

It was like talking to a wall, Y/N didn’t seem to hear anyone who wasn’t Void, she was locked somewhere in her head, unable to see and hear them, her only connection to reality being Void Stiles.

“Wasn’t that cute?” Void tilted his head, pouting mockingly. “That’s enough, Y/N. Stop playing with your food.”

“Y/N, please stop!”

“KILL THEM!” Void roared.

One of Allison’s arrows flew and got an Oni. The figure drop their sword, vanishing. But Y/N had already spurred into action, she ran to Allison and tackled her, forcing her to drop her crossbow. She turned her around and secured both of her arms on her back, offering her to the closest Oni. In time, the dark figure drew out his sword, and pierced Allison’s body.

Y/N dropped her, stepping back with a blank stare. 

“Y/N,” Void called her, his voice merely above a whisper. “Time to go.”

She turned away from the girl at the same time Scott ran into the scene, Scott called after her, but Y/N didn’t look back, not even once, as she disappeared into the shadows.

____________________________

Y/N’d heard it faintly, like a dream within a dream.

Lydia crying, her screams, her pain and sadness. 

She’d cried Allison’s name.

____________________________

“He’s not safe here.”

“He’s not safe anywhere.”

Stiles didn’t want to be safe. To hell with being safe. Y/N was gone. Allison was gone. 

He was the only one to blame.

“But Allison did kill one of them,” He heard Kira said. “Doesn’t that mean something? She killed an Oni.”

“Is that even possible?”

“I’m not sure how.”

“But she did it. She killed one of them.”

“Yeah, and then they killed her,” Stiles rasped. “Allison’s dead. And Y/N, she... is she gone forever?”

“Not if we act soon,” Said the woman. 

“And if we don’t?”

No one answered to his question. He looked down, bitterness pouring through his words. 

“I guess the only good thing is it looks like I’m dying, too.”

“He made a powerful move by splitting the two of you and submitting her to his will. But one can’t have all the good moves. It’s not possible, I believe he’s ran out of them.”

“What’s our move?” Kira asked.

“At this point,” said her father. “You need a divine move.”

____________________________

“Hi there,” Void talked to the recepcionist. The man looked up in mild annoyance. “Could you page Melissa McCall for us, please?”

The Onis appeared behind them and stabbed the man in the stomach, they watched them fall. Y/N scoffed. 

“Typical service. Nothing ever works around here.”

Void smirked at her with irony. “Well, I guess we’ll just have to find her ourselves.”

____________________________

“If the plan kills me, just go through with it.”

“The plan is to save you,” Scott said. “You and Y/N. That’s the plan.”

One last try, thought Stiles. 

____________________________

“Look, Y/N!” Void said calmly, then turned his attention to Derek. “Did you bring us a present?”

“I brought two.”

Void tilted his head in amusement. “I’ve heard of an Alpha pack, Derek, but not a pack of former Alphas. It’s a little sad, isn’t it?” He looked at Y/N. “This should be easy for you, darling.”

“I might not be an Alpha anymore,” Derek replied. “But I can still fight like one.”

Y/N stood up, her blank stare twisting into confusion. “Are they trying to hurt you, Stiles?”

Void’s smirk turned into a fake pout. 

“Oh, yes. They want to kill me,” He chuckled. “But you know what to do, don’t you, darling pet?”

“I’ll keep you safe,” She responded softly.

With that, she and the Onis charged into battle. She fought with everything she had and a little more, fifteen minutes into the fight Void called her out of the battle.

“Where the hell are they?” Yelled one of the twins.

“The jeep’s here they have to be somewhere!”

“In the school!” Shouted Derek.

“That’s right,” Void growled. “And they’re making things way harder than it should be. Come, dove. Something tells me you’re of better use to where I’m going...”

___________________________

Stiles picked up Kira’s sword from the ground and pointed its tip towards his stomach, a wild decision making its way through the heat of the fight.

“Stiles, no!” Scott yelled, being held back by a pair of Onis. “Stiles!”

“What if it saves you?” Stiles said through his shaky breaths. “What if it saves all of you?”

“What if it’s just another trick?” Lydia asked desperately. “Y/N needs all of us, Stiles!”

“No more tricks, Lydia,” Said the Nogitsune. “End it, Scott. Let your friend fall on his own sword. Do for him what he cannot do for himself. Do it Scott, be his kaishakunin...”

If Y/N was really gone... there was no point, he had no reason to stay alive, not after all the things he’d done. Not after ruining such a beautiful, pure soul...

“Give up the game...”

Then he saw it. In the reflection of the blade, there was something that didn’t quite belong in that place, something that gave away Void’s little game. A book was half-hidden in the snow, and a bit further away, he found a desk.

“You have no moves left...”

“I do,” Stiles replied quietly, lowering the katana. “A divine move.”

He stumbled back, Lydia caught him before he could fall, and he breathed heavily.

“Stop fighting them! It’s an illusion!” He let out. “You have to stop fighting them. It looks real and it feels real, but Scott you gotta trust me, it’s an illusion.”

Scott turned around, and the four of them walked towards the Nogitsune quietly, letting the Onis cut through their skin. They didn’t touch Stiles or Lydia, and she pushed both of their bodies forward. Scott grabbed the Nogitsune by the shoulders and pushed him against the doors, and in the blink of an eye, the doors were the only thing in front of him. 

They were safe.

“We’re okay,” Scott gulped. “We’re–”

Something tackled Scott and threw him a few meters away. It was Y/N. Kira turned around only to be slapped by Void, which knocked her out of the way. 

Y/N stood up from where she and Scott had landed, cleaning the sweat out of her forehead.

“This was my game,” Void growled. “You think you can beat me at my game?”

“Y/N please wake up!” Scott shouted.

“She won’t listen to you,” Void said with a hint of exasperation. “How many times do I have to say it? She’s mine now. I control her.”

“No,” Lydia said lowly. “You just tricked her.”

“It’s the same thing,” Void smiled. 

Stiles stared at Y/N, it was the first time he’d seen her after she got kidnapped by Void all those days ago. She looked like a corpse, pale paper skin, dark circles under milky eyes, lips white and broken... she looked like him. Void was feeding of the two of them, and only Stiles could stop him.

“No, it’s not the same thing,” Lydia insisted. “Because she’s not trying to protect you. She’s trying to protect Stiles, that’s why you’re still using his image... his voice.”

“She won’t listen to you, no matter how loud you scream while she pulls your guts out,” Void said menacingly. 

“You’re right, she won’t listen to me,” Lydia looked up at her friend. “But she will listen to you. Call her, Stiles.”

And Stiles, with the last bit of strenght he could muster, yelled at the top of his lungs:

“Y/N!”

________________________

There it was again, someone was screaming.

Stiles, she’d heard his voice all night, asking her for help, telling her he needed to be protected... she did her best, but now Stiles was asking her to... he was asking her stop, to... open her eyes?

She had her eyes open, the problem was that everything was dark... how was she supposed to find her way out of that place, wherever it was?

“I’M SORRY, PLEASE WAKE UP, WAKE UP, Y/N!”

“Stiles,” She cried desperately. “I can’t see you... I think I’m dead.”

Outside her mind Void was starting to look real angry, he could sense her slowly slipping through his fingers.

“Don’t listen, Y/N,” He replied. “Remember what he did. Remember what they all did to you. Who are you to them, if not a pesky little fly?”

“They don’t want me,” Y/N agreed, voice breaking. “I’m useless...”

“You’re not useless to me,” Void walked up to her, whispering to her ear. “No, no, dear pet... You know I look after you, right?”

“You care about me,” Y/N sobbed. “You need me.”

“That’s right,” Void said triumphantly. “That’s the truth...”

“No it’s not,” Stiles yelped, trying to stand on his own. “It’s not true, Y/N. I need you. I always needed you. I swear you’re the only reason, the only thing that’s...”

“Stiles?” Y/N blinked, “I don’t... I don’t understand...”

“Enough!” Void pushed Y/N aside, making her fall sideways. He walked to Stiles and Lydia with a burning glare. Void scoffed. “Divine move. Divine move? You think you have any moves at all? You can kill the Oni, but me? Me? I’m a thousand years old– YOU CAN’T KILL ME!”

“But we can change you!” Lydia exclaimed.

Void stared at her, his frown fell slightly. “What?”

“You forgot about the scroll,” Stiles replied tiredly.

“The Shugendo scroll,” Lydia breathed.

Three seconds of heavy silence passed. Void changed his posture.

“Change the host,” He concluded.

“You can’t be a fox and a wolf...”

Scott came out of nowhere and held onto Void’s arm, biting as hard and deep as he could. Void let out a howl, and as soon as Scott let go Kira stabbed him on the back.

“NO!” Y/N sat up abruptly. “STILES! NO!”

Void fell to his knees, and a single bug came out of his mouth, flying across the hall until Isaac’s figure cut it short, catching it inside a small wooden box. 

Void twisted and gawked, and Y/N followed the sounds, crawling to him and sobbing desperately.

“No no no no no no,” She said, streching out her arms. “What have you done? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?”

“Y/N,” Scott held her back, keeping her in place. “Y/N... why isn’t she coming back?”

“I said it already,” Lydia replied. “Void was not controlling her. He just twisted her thoughts. She did all this on her own... she fed on him and the negative emotions, his powers... were too strong. She couldn’t handle it, so she pushed her conscience to the back of her mind as a way of protection. I can still hear her but we need to bring her back before she gets lost forever.”

“Y/N?” Stiles tried again, softly grabbing her by the arms. “Y/N I’m right here, I’m not gone.”

He was so weak, he could feel himself drifting from reality but he had to stay up a bit longer, the fight was not over.

Scott let go of her and Y/N fell to her knees, sobbing uncontrollably. Stiles kneeled in front of her.

“How do I do it?” Stiles asked desperately. “You told me to call on her, but she’s not listening!”

“The same way she called you back,” Scott replied. 

Stiles remembered that, the way Scott had howl to get his attention. 

“But she doesn’t think she’s part of the pack,” Kira replied. “It won’t work on her, she doesn’t see herself as part of the group.”

“No,” Scott admitted. “But she was part of something.”

“She was my partner,” Stiles realized. “That’s it, isn’t it?”

Without waiting for a reply, Stiles cupped her face with both hands and steadied his voice.

“Y/N, I know you’re in there, and I know you’re listening to me,” He started. “Void told you to do all those things, not me. You hear me? I would never risk your life that way. But he knew you would only respond to my voice... you would only seek to help me. All this time, that’s the only thing you’ve been trying to do, right? To help me.”

“I wanted you to be safe,” She sobbed quietly, her stare looking blankly at the distance. 

“I know, I know,” Stiles continued anxiously. “I understand. You know why? Because I wanted you to be safe too. I still want you to. Please, Y/N. Please do this for me one last time, please...”

“What for?” She frowned absently. “I’m just a human, I’m weak, I can’t make a difference...”

“You’re not just a human, Y/N,” Stiles was crying now too, he was running out of time, his head was pounding, yelling at him to just close his eyes and sleep. “You’re my best friend. You’re... God, you have no idea how sorry I am, this is all my fault, you’re like this because I screwed things up... I know that, but it’s me who deserves to fade away, not you, Y/N. Don’t go just yet...”

She was losing her energy too, and her eyes were blinking slower.

“You’ll be okay, won’t you?” She whispered. “You’ll be loved...”

“Y/N!” Stiles yelled again, his grip tightening around her soft face. “Don’t you dare, don’t you dare to leave me! Open your eyes! Y/N L/N WAKE UP! WAKE UP RIGHT NOW!”

In a last desperate attempt, Stiles pulled her face closer, and kissed her.

_________________________

Y/N woke up abruptly, gasping for air. The screams, his voice, somehow had pulled her out of her darkness. Stiles’ face was a few inches away from hers, and his hands kept hers in place. 

She could tell that right away from the way his pupils dilated when their eyes found each other, the way his brow furrowed and his lower lip trembled at the sight, and his touch, the softness with which he held her in place... it was her Stiles, finally, after so long...

“You okay,” She said shakily, her own hands finding their up to his cheeks. “You came back...”

“You found me,” His eyes teared up.

“Stiles,” She cried. “I’ve done terrible things...”

“It’s okay... it’s...” Stiles’ eyes rolled to the back of his head, and the boy fell to his side heavily.

The last thing Y/N saw before fainting too, was Scott and Lydia kneeling to help them.

[ariainstars]

Feminism (and Not) in Star Wars

Warning: unpopular opinions ahead.

 During the last few years, I have often heard and read people arguing that the Star Wars sequels are “feminist”, that Rey in particular is a Mary Sue and, at worst, that “feminism ruined Star Wars.” So, I would like to add my two cents. 

It cannot to be denied that the end of the sequels, and with it of the saga as a whole, is highly dissatisfying. But feminism is not what caused it.

The sequels are not feminist at all. Especially not in Star Wars, where the greatest hero Luke Skywalker had ended the conflict through compassion and forgiveness. TRoS in particular is a slap in the face of female dignity and virtue, both for the male protagonist’s mother and for his love interest. 

Unfortunately, and that is one of my major issues with the sequels, many things are not being said or explained. This might be due to the fact that Episode VIII was subversive and that so many classic fans ranted and stormed against it; but that didn’t prevent Episode IX from showing, if not saying, a lot of things. 

Star Wars is all about subtext, that’s what makes it compelling. Please:

Read between the lines.

Look at what is not being said but shown.

Compare the attitudes of different people in similar situations.

  Rey

„You cannot deny the truth that is your family.” Lor San Tekka in The Force Awakens

  Rey was introduced as a positive female character but then, over the course of three films, her moral corruption was displayed under the lame excuse of a black and white morality (“I am all the Sith” vs. “I am all the Jedi”).

Rey seemed like a reboot of Luke Skywalker at first, but watching her throughout TRoS we see her fail in all instances where Luke had proved himself a hero.

  - Luke had forgiven his father despite all the pain he had inflicted on him and his friends. Rey stabbed the „bad guy”, who had repeatedly protected and comforted her, to death.

- Luke never asked Vader to help the Rebellion or to turn to the Light Side, he only wanted him back as his father. Rey assumed that she could make Ben Solo turn, give up the First Order and join the Resistance for her. She was thinking of her friends and her own validation, not of him.

- Luke had made peace by choosing peace. Rey fought until the bitter end.

- Luke had thrown his weapon away before Palpatine. Rey picked up a second weapon. (And both of them weren’t her own.)

- Luke had mourned his dead father. Rey didn’t shed a tear for the man she is bonded to by the Force.

- Luke went back to his friends to celebrate the new peace with them. Rey went back letting everyone celebrate her like the one who saved the galaxy on her own - the woman who was tempted to become the new evil ruler of the galaxy and had to rely on the alleged Bad Guy to save both her soul and her body.

- Luke had embodied compassion when Palpatine was all about hatred. Where he chose love and faith in his father, Rey chose violence and fear.

- Luke had briefly fallen prey to the Dark Side but it made him realize that he had no right to judge his father. Rey’s fall to the Dark Side did not make her wiser.

- Confronted by Vader’s disclosure of his true identity Luke was forced to face himself, to realize that he had been judgmental, arrogant and biased; and after the initial shock he accepted his origins as a part of himself. - Rey did not reconcile with Palpatine as a part of herself. (When she says to him “I don’t hate you” it’s not a sign of superior attitude. It merely shows that she sees him as separate from herself.)

- After realizing what he had done to his nephew, feeling responsible and disillusioned, Luke went into exile for years waiting for his death. - Rey also was appalled at herself, but she spent just a few minutes on Ahch-To until Luke appeared to her, this time telling her exactly what she would have wanted him to say to her on her first visit on the island. This scene was so ridiculously opposite to his attitude in TLJ that I believe he was a fantasy conjectured by her like Ben’s vision of his father.

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  Rey failed where Ben had been strong.

- Ben killed Snoke to save Rey. Rey killed Palpatine to complete her Jedihood. (Or at least, what she believes being a Jedi means, i.e. “being always right and winning at all costs”.)

- Ben loved Rey despite all she did to him and took away from him, and she didn’t even honour his name in the end.

- Ben knew the stories of Luke, Vader and Palpatine well enough to wanted to end the Jedi and Sith at last and start something new and better. Rey only knew scraps of old tales and wanted to have them her own way.

- Ben had been under an evil influence in his mind since before he was born; when he finally turned to the Dark because he had nowhere else to go, he was 23. Rey gave in to her Dark Side minutes after meeting her “mother” in the Death Star ruin; the same happened to her again with Palpatine on Exegol.

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  On the ruin of the second Death Star, Rey is at her lowest on the same spot where Luke had won over himself thirty years before in RoTJ.

- Vader had provoked Luke to make him turn - Kylo hadn’t.

- Vader hat traumatized Luke - Kylo had protected and spared Rey repeatedly.

- Vader hardly had had a kind word to spare for his son (except perhaps when he said to him “It is too late for me, son”) - Kylo had comforted her and shown her his human side.

- Vader had lured Luke into a trap twice in order to keep him by his side. - Kylo hadn’t, on the contrary, he wanted to prevent her from running into Palpatine’s trap.

- Luke did not know what had made Vader the way he was when he came to find him, but he was adamant to save him. - Rey knew by the time of their duel that Kylo was largely also a victim, and she stabbed him to death.

- Luke always fought fair. - Rey used the distraction made by Leia’s reaching out to him to impale him - the way she had seen him impaling Han.

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  It is ridiculous to say that it’s a victory of Good over Evil when a young woman uses Jedi training to kill her master’s own son, who was on the defensive, with his mother’s help and blessing. That their weird connection, which was already introduced during the first two films, is explained by way of their being a dyad (one soul in two bodies) only makes it worse. Rey will rather kill the man she belongs to, or die herself, than admit that she needs him. If that is supposed to be “feminism”, it’s a very distorted idea of female independence and strength. Just like it’s not automatically “feminism” to make a girl pose as the heroine because she wants to be a Jedi no questions asked.

Fans discussed and argued about Rey’s family for years; it was a great move in TLJ when she admitted her parents were “nobodies” and that they left her on purpose. It was refreshing to see her carve her life and personality on her own. TRoS shattered this by making her the descendant of the most powerful man in the galaxy; and what’s worse, she wound up being a usurper just the way he was, taking over the Skywalker mantle.

  The sequels are feminist only when the audience believes that it’s a happy ending if a female ends up alone with no one standing in her way. They are told from her point of view, so as viewers we will automatically believe that she’s the heroine and root for her (or not, but still believe that it’s her story). Looking only at the bare facts, Rey is much less heroic than she first seems.

  At the end of TRoS Rey is alone with two dead people behind her, on a desert planet in company of a droid and with an old, wrinkled woman as her only interlocuter, the way she began, and her mind still has hardly developed beyond that of a child. She is willing to embrace the legacy of both Skywalker family and Jedi although the fate of Ben Solo should have taught her how fu***-up both of them were.

  Rey doesn’t want to see. She’s in denial like when she pretended that her family was coming back for her on Jakku. Inside, she is still a child - everything she did was motivated by her desire to find the belonging she ardently craved. She can’t be blamed for that. But does that make her a “strong woman”, or even a “Mary Sue”, like many annoyed viewers claim? No.

  Leia 

“If you will not turn to the Dark Side, then perhaps she will.” Darth Vader in Return of the Jedi

There is something I find much worse than Ben’s patricide or Luke’s panic attack at the Jedi temple. Those were actions spurred by the moment and provoked by Snoke, and both men regretted it immediately. Leia’s behaviour shows an unpardonable attitude for entire decades. Being a trained Jedi herself, she could have taught her son - instead she sent him to his uncle. This seems a practical choice since she was politically active while her brother wanted to start a new Jedi Order, but from the novels we learn that Ben heard his parents arguing and talking about him like he was a monster ever since he was a child, and that when he was sent away this seemed to confirm to him that something was wrong with him and had to be fixed. (From the novels we also learn that he actually had no ambition to become a Jedi and wanted to be a pilot - true Skywalker and also Solo that he is -, but he had no say in the matter.)

 After the tragedy at Luke’s temple and the rise of the First Order, Leia fought with the Resistance for years knowing that her own son was on the other side. What if she had met him and been forced to kill him (or if he had come into the situation, as we see in TLJ)? In TFA, she sent his own father to bomb Starkiller Base knowing well that their son might be on board. Leia had felt Snoke’s influence on Ben’s mind when he was still in her womb; so, she knew he had been manipulated for decades, but when she heard of his fall to the Dark Side, she automatically assumed he had made the choice to be “evil”. Only after he had been a part of a criminal organization for years Leia sent her estranged husband to him. She only reached out to him when she was on her deathbed, and I still am not certain whether she wanted to help him, or to make him stop fighting against the girl she had adopted in his stead. 

Would Padmé have left her own son in the dumps? Never. Padmé refuted Obi-Wan’s disclosure about Anakin’s fall to the Dark Side adamantly, and went to a volcanic planet alone, with a highly advanced pregnancy, to see a terrorist and murderer because she still saw the good little boy he had been in him. And she would have gotten him out of that hell had Obi-Wan not interfered. If you don’t believe me, watch the scene again: Slowly but surely, Anakin’s expression changes totally on speaking with his wife. Padmé was literally reaching out to him, and she was succeeding. Love, as always, was stronger than anything else in him. And Padmé believed in her husband until her very last breath. “Obi-Wan, there is still good in him.”

Din Djarin, the Mandalorian of the eponymous tv show, is an outcast who earns his living with dubious business and has killed his fair share of people. But had anyone attempted to do to his little protégé what Snoke did to Ben Solo, I don’t doubt he would have marched on the Supremacy and strangled him with his bare hands. (At least, he would have died trying.) Han would probably have done the same, but Leia deliberately never told him of Snoke’s influence on her son’s mind ever since before his birth. By the time she finally does, as we witness in TFA, their son has been Kylo Ren for six years. 

Leia, the princess, the general, the war heroine, had feared her son before he was even born because she sensed that he was like her own father. But she had no qualms and no fear accepting and instructing the granddaughter of her worst enemy. Why? 

Because Rey doesn’t waver. She has no doubts. She is not conflicted between both Sides of the Force. In Leia’s eyes, Rey is pure Light Side, so she embraces her wholeheartedly as the child she always wanted. As far as I can remember, Leia has never, the way her brother did, offered love to anyone who didn’t fight on her side. And Rey, who had angrily confronted Luke for his moment of terror which “created Kylo Ren”, did not consider for a moment Leia’s responsibility towards her son. Despite training with Leia for a whole year, she never tells her about Luke’s failure which pushed her son into Snoke’s clutches. Nor does she realize that Leia’s love for her is not unconditional but that it is parallel to her Jedi training. Rey literally becomes both a little girl and a Jedi with Leia, down to wearing pure white for the whole of the last instalment of the trilogy. 

Most fans admire Leia for her rebellious, spirited nature. Nothing wrong with that, but it’s not necessarily such a good thing if one spends one’s whole life fighting instead of learning how to preserve peace. Leia is adamant that the side she’s on must win. Like every Jedi before her, she does not know, want or even consider that what the Force actually needs is Balance; and that both her father and her son were not evil because they were strong on both Sides, but that this meant they might have found balance, had they not met opposition to this in everyone they knew. 

Leia never approached her relationship to her father (at least as far as I know), never tried to understand him better and forgive him the way her brother had. Considering what Vader had done to her and her friends, she can’t be blamed for pushing away her memories and living in terror of the Dark Side. However, on the long run her incapacity or refusal for introspection is not a strength but a weakness. The one who paid the price is her son, and with his fall to the Dark, the whole galaxy again became prey to the terror that she herself had always fought against in first line. 

Vader had been right after all: Leia did fall prey to the Dark Side, though unknowingly. Not only did she give up on her son, she actively helped evil come back to the galaxy by believing to do the right thing: she trained Palpatine’s granddaughter, taught her to deny her own fears and weaknesses, gave her justification for her actions, helped her killing her own “evil” son. If that is not the Dark Side’s influence, I don’t know what it is. Leia denied her son’s potential for good and given up on him long before his fate was sealed, and in the same way she closed her eyes on Rey’s potential for evil. The same “bad” son had to prevent the girl she had taken under her wing from becoming what the old devil Palpatine had in mind, at the cost of his life. 

 Conclusion

 I am not an advocate for feminism on principle. If females can be independent and self-assured, if they shed the cloak of “damsel in distress”, on the downside this also means that they can be or become villains just like men. Many people tend to believe that a woman is naturally better, kinder, softer than a man. The Star Wars saga never bowed to this cliché.

 The idea that a woman does not necessarily need a man is positive on its own, but it becomes poisonous if it undermines female trust in men. Star Wars has a long story of lonely, unhappy men (all three generations of Skywalkers), who were denied their natural right to be needed by their women and to keep their families together. One of Anakin’s dilemmas was that he saw Padmé as being too good for him and wanted to prove to her that he was equal to her in his own way. Ben, ironically, felt that he was not good enough for Rey because he was tainted by his larger-than-life heritage, so he wanted to “let the past die” and start something new and fresh with her.

 A man naturally wishes to protect others, in particular wife and children. But in all three generations, we find these men whose personalities are split in two and cannot reconcile the two halves of their self: Anakin / Vader, Luke / Leia, Ben / Kylo. Due to the similarity in his two names, I expected the last of the Skywalker blood to finally heal the wound in his personality and become one. Had anyone wanted and needed both, Ben and Kylo, he might have. But Kylo was an aberration to everyone including Rey. Kylo was a villainous figure and as a male, he was aggressive and arrogant; but at least he made his own decisions and had chosen his own name, things Ben Solo never got to do.

 This is not to say that the sequels are against strong females or prefer the guys over them: no, the guys f** up at least as often as the women do. But to pretend that Leia’s and / or Rey’s portrayal is unrealistically positive and that “feminism ruined Star Wars” is either extremely short-sighted or a mockery of femaleness.

 It is true that women have more and larger roles in the ST, but I can’t see anything wrong with that. Not any more than with the fact that in the OT there was practically only Leia (the few other female characters almost had no impact on the story), and that there were few females in the PT, too. The Jedi Order consisted almost only of men, and you hardly hear anyone complain.

 I know that many fans dislike Anakin and Ben, but please let us consider why.

 One reason is that in an action movie we usually value coolness in a male protagonist above everything, and that the Skywalkers are hot-headed by nature. Most fans prefer Darth Vader, Han Solo and the likes to the Skywalker men.

 Another reason is that the filmmakers have deliberately manipulated our emotions. The prequels are told from everybody’s point of view but Anakin’s, and the same goes for the sequels with Ben, despite the fact that the trilogies are about them, not about “the Jedi superheroes saviours of the galaxy” or “the almighty and untainted Skywalker family”. So, as viewers we automatically identify emotionally with anyone but them. We never get to really know the “villain’s” point of view, we only see how other people react to them; and since these reactions are much more often negative than positive, we get to the conclusion that both of them are inescapably evil, that they chose to be so, and that they deserve their terrible fate.

 My suggestion: rewatch both trilogies again and this time try to look through Anakin’s or Ben’s eyes. (And possibly also read the novels and the Kylo Ren comics.)

  You could be surprised.

[g0dspeeed]

Unconditional Positive Regard, 2

Adam Smasher is very used to getting his way.

Until he doesn’t.

=========================================

De-escalation

 Adam Smasher is very used to getting his way.

Does he always get his way?

Majority of the time, yes, and primarily through intimidation. Intimidation was almost like a personality trait to Adam, the line blurring from who he was authentically and the stone-cold bravado he put out for the rest of the world to see. He utilized tried and true premeditated tactics such as calculated threats, blackmail, ransom, disrupting personal space, ignoring the spoken and unspoken rules of modern society, and frankly not giving a shit about what other people thought. Then again, said tactics occurred unconsciously, too. His physical presence alone made for a great argument. The man stands well over six feet tall, perhaps leaning more towards the seven-foot range, with broad shoulders and a deadly gaze to boot. Adam’s copper red eyes could give a look so menacing that other Arasaka operatives submitted to his authority without question.

And he loved this. He truly enjoyed wielding such power, to walk into a room and have an air of dominance over every stranger that stood before him. Made things simple. Never there to make friends, to play nice, to compromise. The only thing he sought out to do in these god-awful meetings that Arasaka forced him to attend was comply with the given, short-term objectives to a tee. Going the extra mile was only an option to Adam if it benefitted him. Or if it made the job easier, but that stopped if it meant kissing any asses that didn’t have a direct link to his eddie account.

Intimidation was effective on mostly everyone that Adam Smasher worked with or unfortunately encountered in his line of work.

Then there were the others. The ones that didn’t get the message or simply chose to make regrettable decisions. To get in the way. To make Adam’s job harder. Those were the people that required more intention on Adam’s part.

And Adam was every bit intentional with those who refused to submit.

The city appeared calm on the morning of his meeting. Wellsprings was the destination and Adam arranged the AV so he would arrive onsite early. The ride in the AV was short, but allotted Adam time to observe the Night City skyline as sun beams cut through its shadow like knives, gold and sharp and warming the streets below. Like his hometown, Night City had no concept of sleep, its population below teeming towards their next meal, deal, job in a sort of lively frenzy.

Adam himself felt tired. He still required sleep like any functioning being, experiencing a downtime where his senses and sensors went offline, and his brain, his still very organic brain, unwound and processed all that he experienced that day. Unfortunately for him, his brain didn’t want to unwind the night before, too excited about the job, too curious at what Arasaka needed an outside opinion on, and having too many questions unanswered.

What made this job so special?

Why would Arasaka seek out the opinion of someone in Night City rather than in Japan?

What made this third party so important?

Who were they?

Why them?

Why did their opinion have so much weight?

Most of all Adam wondered why he even bothered to care. The image and reputation that Adam had worked so hard to cultivate this past century should have emboldened him with steel-clad confidence in himself and his abilities. Should have. Why the anxiety? True, Arasaka was being oddly theatrical in their deliverance, but if Adam were honest with himself, he would acknowledge that he allowed a dangerous feeling to creep inside, a feeling that’s lethality pushed him to put his life at risk more than anything else: hope.

“Approaching LZ, sir.”

The flat voice of the AV’s pilot pulled Adam out of his mental reverie.

Surveying the area, he felt his suspicion rise. The AV was lowering at the top of a multi-leveled parking garage that connected to a moderately large, white building. The glass windows were polarized with a shade of gold, giving no indication as to what occurred behind them. Adam also noticed a lack of sign or company name, save for a white emblem that looked like the image of a lighted torch. Clean and shimmering, the emblem rested on the building’s corner, as if it were a true, living flame.

As the AV pulled away, Adam headed near the large elevator that sat on the opposite side of his landing zone. Gravel crunched beneath him, the annoying sound adding to his already agitated mood. Just as he approached the control panel, the elevator doors opened with a faint hiss.

Out stepped a fit, middle-aged man with dark, neatly combed hair, navy slacks, and a trim, button-up shirt. The man was occupied with rolling up the shirt’s sleeves, revealing a variety of tattoos on each bicep. Adam noticed a large NUSA script standing out amongst the rest. The man’s face illuminated with a white smile when their eyes met.

“Good morning, Mr. Smasher,” he greeted, his voice deep and rich. “I apologize for any waiting that we might have caused you.”

Adam grunted as he sidestepped the man to enter the elevator. He didn’t have to duck his head, an odd experience for him.

The stranger seemed unaffected by Adam’s response, maintaining a polite smile and joining him in the elevator. As the doors closed, he stepped forward and pressed one of the buttons.

“When we arrive to the office, we request that you place all weapons-”

“No.”

A pause.

The man resumed.

“-in our reservoir and deactivate any and all combat cyberware.”

“Out of the question.”

Adam turned to face him. The smile had faded, but much to Adam’s chagrin there was a hint of amusement in the man’s hazel eyes.

“I know that our policy opposes your own,” he stated. “But it is a requirement of this office.”

The elevator slowed.

“Are you the third party in the contract?” Adam asked lowly.

“I am not,” answered the man.

The doors opened as they arrived to their floor.

“Then you are of no use to me,” said Adam.

Walking into the space, his brows furrowed. He had arrived at an open lobby that was full of soft chairs and with tall windows aligning the walls. There was a gentle scent in the air, something floral that added to the relaxing ambiance of the floor. Some art was on the walls as well, but what distracted Adam was the sight of a single set of large, double doors.

No one was there other than Adam and the man who continued to speak to him.

“Welcome to Torch. This is our Services floor.”

Again, the man received a cold reply as Adam ignored him and approached the large doors. Giving the doors a firm tug, they didn’t budge from the frame. He tried again, this time with more effort, and became agitated when they failed to give.

“This building prohibits the presence of any and all firearms, as well as combat cyberware,” stated the man, his tone informative and light.

Turning to glower at the man, Adam saw that he was gesturing to a unit in the wall.

“We have reservoirs on each floor, calibrated with genetic security software to guarantee that only you can have access to them. We do not sell or use any of the collected data. It is strictly for security. Not even our own staff can touch your things without your consent, Mr. Smasher.”

Adam stalked towards the man with heavy, deliberate steps.

“Open the door,” he commanded.

“I cannot-”

A hard, mechanical hand reached out to grip the man’s throat.

“Open the door,” repeated Adam. The man’s struggling body was lifted from the tiled floor with ease. “Or I will break you,” added the merc in a whisper.

The stranger struggled in his grasp, attempting and failing to loosen Adam’s hold with his own cybernetic fingers.

“Open the fucking door,” Adam commanded again, his anger growing with each passing moment.

“I-It won’t open,” gasped the man. “Not until I see you put your weapons in the reservoir.”

The lump in his throat bobbed against Adam’s palm.

“Think I give a damn about your policies and protocol?” he rumbled. “I can just pop off your fucking head clean off your shoulders, then I’ll rip open those doors myself-”

“A-And she still won’t see you.”

Adam blinked in confusion. The man had no fear in his voice. No, the opposite. Bold. Certain. His whole demeanor was solid, his eyes never breaking away from that of the mercenary.

“She won’t see you,” repeated the man. “She’s not one for intimidation. N-Never will be.”

With a new blaze of anger, Adam lifted the man higher. The man gasped heavily as the grip became tighter on his air way, his face reddening into a deep scarlet.

Behind them, the doors burst open.

“Mr. Smasher!” yelled a voice. A woman’s voice. “Put him down!”

His head turned in the direction of the sound, his anger near the tipping point of rage.

Standing in the doorway was a woman. She stood before a group of other women, all afraid, their eyes wide and trembling fingers touching lips. One of the fearful women looked to be attempting to pull the other back, but with no luck. She stood firm in a white, form-fitting dress, the garment hiding most of her olive skin and hugging her curves beautifully. Her hair was dark and fell in waves at her shoulders and down her back. Oddly enough she was barefoot, revealing a blood red polish on her toes that matched her fingernails. Simple gold jewelry complimented her complexion.

The woman’s face, though attractive, wore a look of pure admonishment.

“Are you the one hired by Arasaka?” called back the mercenary, his voice still strained.

“Put him down,” repeated the woman. “Now.”

“Answer my question-”

“Not until you put down Dr. Estrada.”

Their eyes locked. Gold like her jewelry, they burned intensely with a heat that Adam could practically feel. His own resolve faltered at her ultimatum, mostly because he wasn’t used to anyone, let alone a woman, making one.

The man’s body dropped loudly to the tile.

To Adam’s surprise, the woman immediately relaxed. Gone was the fire in her eyes and features. Posture eased. She then entered the lobby. The women behind her silently panicked, their mouths agape at seeing her walk past Adam, bare feet padding across the tile, to attend to the fallen man. The man had recovered after a brief coughing fit and was sitting up with a grin. He accepted her offered hand.

“So all of this,” she said calmly, directing the man to the doorway. “Is because of our weapons policy?”

“Are you the one hired by Arasaka?”

His tone was more level, matching hers. The anger was long forgotten.

“I am,” she replied.  “Will you be able to make our appointment or should we reschedule?”

Adam frowned at the question.

Without saying a word, he began walking towards the doors. Her frame stiffened. In a stride she stood between Adam and the opening.

“You want to keep our appointment,” she acknowledged. “Please put your weapons in our reservoir and deactivate any and all combat cyberware.”

And like a switch, his fury returned ten-fold.

“I’m not going to go by your bullshit policies!” he yelled. “We’re meeting today! Stop wasting my fucking time and let’s get this shit over with!”

Pulse raced in his body, so strongly that he swore they could hear it. The doctor stood behind the woman, eyes shifting between her and Adam nervously. He saw how the man’s hands tightened into fists, as if ready to intervene at any moment. The other women were frozen in fear.

What did these fucking people not understand?

Adam was here to do a job.

He didn’t have to abide by whatever policies they were giving him.

It wasn’t going to happen.

All appeared terrified and concerned.

All except for her.

That woman with the dark hair and powerful, golden eyes remained by her place at the doorway, her focus on Adam and staring directly at him as if he hadn’t just yelled at her. If she was afraid of Adam, she sure didn’t show it.

A moment passed before he got a response.

Her voice was touched with a new softness, her face gentle.

“I hear you,” she said. “You are strongly against what we’re asking of you, Adam, and we’re asking a lot. This is our policy. It is important that our clients feel safe here. If depositing your weapons and turning off your cyberware is not acceptable to you, that’s fine, but it is our expectation. You can do what we ask and retrieve your things when our meeting is over or we can reschedule when you’re ready.”

Dark eyes blinked in confusion. No doubt his anger remained, but at hearing her words, the calmness in her voice, he found it oddly abated. Only slightly, but abated nonetheless.

He swallowed.

“Out of the question,” Adam answered lowly.

As if expecting his response, the woman simply nodded.

“Okay,” she said, that damn smile once more spreading across her full lips. “That’s your choice. The elevator can take you to the floor that Dr. Estrada met you at. Please reach out to our office so we can reschedule.”

Before he could muster up a response, the woman quietly closed the doors.

[dolokhov-is-fierce-and-important]

Why "Pierre & Andrey" is the most complex and emotionally charged song of the entire musical

When I first heard this song, I didn't think too much of it. But when I watched the scene in a bootleg, I got 𝑐ℎ𝑖𝑙𝑙𝑠. Once I fully soaked it all in, I was absolutely astounded and obsessed with this one, three minute long scene. Here's why.

Everything that's happened thus far has been leading to this point. It's repeated again and again throughout the musical; ANDREY ISN'T HERE. Malloy makes sure to really drive home how important that detail is as the story progresses. It's the first line we hear in Prologue, and its repeated another TEN TIMES in that song. And while that line itself isnt repeated again after that, it's still painfully obvious.

Natasha is waiting for Andrey to come home so they can be together again. She and Sonya go to Moscow because Andrey isn't here and they have to wait for him. She goes to the ball and meets Anatole because Andrey isn't here to stop Anatole. Pierre goes out drinking with Anatole and Dolokhov, two men he doesn't really like, because Andrey isn't here to occupy his time or stop him, which leads to the duel. Natasha goes to the ball because Andrey isn't here to stop her or keep her busy. Natasha kisses Anatole because Andrey isn't here. Natasha breaks up with Andrey because Andrey isn't here. Anatole attempts to abduct Natasha because Andrey isn't here. Natasha tries to kill herself because Andrey isn't here.

Andrey isn't here, and that one detail is the reason we have this story at all. If Andrey hadn't gone off to the war, Pierre wouldn't be having (as much) of an existential crisis and Natasha wouldn't have had the affair with Anatole. But instead his absence causes a chain of unfortunate events.

And all throughout this, we still don't know exactly 𝑤ℎ𝑜 Andrey even is. We don't get to know him like all the other characters; all we have to go off of is how the characters feel about him.

Natasha is in love with him (for a little while, at least), and she sings an entire song about how deeply she loves him in "No One Else". Marya talks about how great it is the two of them are getting married in "Moscow" and how good it will be for the family. Pierre talks about how much he admires Andrey, his good friend, for fighting in the war in "Letters".

Everyone who talks about Andrey, talks about him in a positive light.

And then, we get to "Pierre & Andrey", and we get to see the 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑙 Andrey, and it completely shatters the way we saw him.

When he enters, light fills the room, and he walks through the large door we saw him leave through at the very beginning. All of the cast sits down except for Pierre and Andrey as the light returns to normal. And we're faced with that dawning realization;

Andrey is here.

For the first time, we actually see him fully, we hear his voice. No longer is he the name mentioned time and time again, the looming background force driving the story. No, now he is a tangible and very real character in this plot. And he is appearing right in the midst of all the chaos.

The scene begins with Andrey and Pierre jokingly insulting each other, as bros do, but the mood is far from what the lines suggest. There is obvious tension in both of their voices. They are trying to seem casual to one another, but both of them know it isn't a conversation that they're going to enjoy. No, shit's gone down, and they stand in the rubble face-to-face for the first time and have to deal with the consequences.

Pierre addresses the tension first, and Andrey brushes him off for a moment. Then we get then line.

𝑇ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒𝑠 𝑎 𝑤𝑎𝑟 𝑔𝑜𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑜𝑛.

Now I could go on for fucking hours about this one, single line because of how powerful it is and what it implies, but I'll try not to take too long.

It's the line we heard again and again in the first song, along with Andrey isn't here, but theres one other key change to it; it doesn't end with "out there, somewhere." And that's the most important part.

By not adding in that ending, it tells us that the war isnt something far away anymore. It isn't something can can just be brushed off or ignored anymore. No, Andrey has seen the war, he's fought in it, he's seen the harsh reality. But he's not only talking about the war between the French and the Russians. Now, theres a new war, the war between the characters.

Similar to Andrey being absent is a looming force in the story, the war is one too, though much more subtle. All of the characters didn't need to pay attention to it; it was something that could be ignored because it didn't affect them. They could stay ignorant to the horrors because of their wealth and turn a blind eye to what has been going on.

But now, the war isn't far away anymore; a new war is here, and it is affecting each and every one of them personally. With his return, Andrey has metaphorically brought the war back with him. It can't be ignored anymore.

After basking in that line for a moment, Andrey gets to business. He asks Pierre if what he had heard about Natasha and Anatole's affair was true, but there is more going on here than just trying to get the information. Firstly, Andrey refers to Natasha not by her name, but by her formal title, "Countess Rostova". This emphasizes how wounded her refusal was and how he is trying to save face by distancing himself from her personally. But another thing, he calls Anatole not by his name, and not even by his title, but instead refers to him as Pierre's brother-in-law. He directly calls out the connection between Pierre and Anatole, and by this we can start to see that Andrey holds a seed of resentment towards Pierre. Pierre is close with Anatole, so Andrey is questioning how something like this could have happened without Pierre's noticing.

Moving on, Andrey gives up the letters that Natasha had sent him, breaking all ties with her and giving them to Pierre to deliver so he wouldn't have to see her. He again refers to her only as "the Countess".

Pierre tells Andrey that Natasha is sick, near death. You can hear the tenderness and worry in his voice, showing how he cares for Natasha. And how does Andrey respond?

"I much regret her illness."

Andrey has to force out the words. He doesn't actually feel bad, and this is shown even more by the next lines; "Pierre: And he smiled like his father / Coldly, maliciously / Andrey: Well, it doesnt matter." Andrey isn't just unbothered by Natasha's illness, he's ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑝𝑦 about it. He is happy that after her betrayal Natasha is getting what he feels she deserves.

And this is the point where we really see him. No longer is he this great guy, this heroic figure, this savior. Now we see him for who he is, and it's not a pleasant person. He is compared to his father by Pierre, a vile and abusive old man.

(This similarity is also emphasized in the last line of the song, where the actor slips into his voice for Old Prince Bolkonsky to show how Andrey is becoming like his father. It's also extra emphasized when he walks away and pushes away Mary, instead sitting down in the chair we see Old Prince Bolkonsky sitting in during "The Private and Intimate Life of the House".)

Pierre is confused at this point as his view of Andrey as his hero begins to crumble. He says, "You told me once / A fallen woman should be forgiven." He's frustrated and confused, and you can hear it in his voice. He wants to support his friend but he's starting to realize that his friend isnt who he thought he was. He starts siding with Natasha over Andrey.

"But I didn't say that I could forgive. / I can't." Fuck, this line hurts every time I hear it. This is the point where the carefully constructed image that is Andrey The Good Guy completely dissolves. He is a hypocrite. He preaches about being good and forgiving those who have wronged you, but he himself cannot forgive Natasha for what she has done. She has hurt him and embarrassed him, and he can not forgive her, even if she is on the verge of death.

This isn't only a turning point for our view of Andrey, but for Pierre as well. This is his good friend, best friend, even. This is the man he's thought so highly of and looked up to for the longest time. But now he sees the reality, and he sees Andrey for who he is. His whole mindset built around Andrey and who he is comes crashing down.

But oh ho ho, it gets worse.

"If you wish to be my friend / Never speak of that again."

Andrey gets right up in Pierres face during this part, jabbing him in the chest and looming over him, essentially threatening him. You can see the fear and confusion in Pierre's face, and the way he stumbles back, the way he stares after Andrey long after he's left. Pierre is completely shocked by his behavior because he would have never imagined Andrey to do anything like that. His view has been permanently anc irreversibly shaken, and that's what drives him away from Andrey and to Natasha.

In just three minutes, this scene not only shows us the character that had driven the plot of the musical for the first time, but also manages to shake our foundations of who he is as a person. It changes Pierre's entire view of his hero and friend and drives him to reconsider everything he'd known about Andrey, and turns him against him and to Natasha.

This is the best climax one could hope for in a story, but if you don't pay attention, it could go completely over your head.

Thanks for coming to my TEDtalk. I'm very sleepy. This took 3 hours to write. Goodnight.

[lauras-collection]

Two Lies and a Truth [Part 1]

uni student!tom holland x female reader

Masterlist

Summary: Your first day at uni goes different than expected when you bump into someone from your past.

Words: 2.2k

Warnings: swearing, nothing else I think [there will be smut in future chapters]

A/N: Here it is! Finally, the first part of my college/uni tom fic! This has been in the works for quite a while and I really really hope you’ll enjoy it! (I originally wanted to post this tomorrow but I just cannot wait :D)

Now, this part is mostly build-up. But this series will be an emotional rollercoaster, you guys. 😅

Feedback is greatly appreciated!

“Yes, mum. I’ve got everything. Would you please stop stressing?” Your mum was running around the house like a headless chicken and you honestly didn’t know what the fuss was about. You were moving into your student residence today and with the way your mum was behaving you’d think that you’re moving to another country. “I’m only moving to London, Mum. If there’s anything I forgot I can simply come here and pick it up.” You zipped your suitcase shut and started carrying it down the small staircase.  Your mum sighed as she followed you downstairs.

“I know, I know. But I want you to have the best possible start at University, darling.” You reached the bottom of the stairs and turned around to look at her. 

“I’m sure it’s going to be fine. You don’t need to worry about me.” 

“Of course I worry about you! That’s what comes with being a mum. Someday you’ll understand that.” You only rolled your eyes at that and carried the suitcase through the front door. The sea breeze immediately tousled your hair and you tried to tame it with your free hand while dragging the suitcase towards the car with the other. 

You were going to miss living by the sea. Brighton had been your home for the past four years and you’ve never felt more at home somewhere.  You already knew that you were going to come home plenty during the weekends. If your workload allowed it. You didn’t really know what to expect from university but you were prepared for a lot of studying. You had decided to study Film and Comparative Literatures in London and were very excited to finally study something that you were actually interested in. School had mostly consisted of you studying hard to do well in subjects that you had no interest in whatsoever. 

Classes were starting in a week but the University was organising an introduction week for all first-year students and you were more than thrilled to meet new people. You felt like it was the start of a new chapter in your life. 

Your mum drove you all the way to your student residence and you were thankful that you didn’t have to handle all your stuff on the train and the tube. You checked in at the front desk and the residence manager, Corey, took you and your mum to your room. You were going to share the room with another student and you hoped that she would be nice, or at least a tolerable roommate. You had heard way too many horror stories. 

When you entered the room with your mum, a blonde was already sitting at one of the desks in the room. She turned around as she noticed your arrival and greeted you with a huge smile.

“Hi! I’m Kelly.” She got up from the chair to wrap her arms around you in a hug. Your eyes widened in surprise but you reciprocated the hug quickly.

“Y/N. Nice to meet you.” 

***

After your mum had helped you with all your stuff she reluctantly drove back home.

“Be good, okay?” She was holding you by your shoulders as she looked at you intently. “I already know, you’re going to do great. Don’t be a stranger, yeah?” You nodded and wrapped her in a hug as you saw the tears form in your mum’s eyes. 

“Of course. I’ll try to visit as often as possible. Give dad a hug from me, okay?” Unfortunately, your dad had to go on a work trip so you had had to say goodbye to him the day before and he couldn’t join your mum in taking you to Uni.

Your mum nodded. “We’re so proud of you, darling. Okay, I’m gonna go now before I get stuck in rush hour traffic.” With that, she quickly waved goodbye to Kelly and left your new home to get back to your old one.

You spent the whole afternoon getting to know Kelly while you placed your clothes into your new wardrobe. Kelly was sprawled out on her bed and scrolled through her phone. She had arrived earlier in the day from Liverpool and had already unpacked all her stuff before you arrived. 

“The residence manger…what was his name again? Clark?” Kelly raised her eyebrows in question and moved her gaze from her phone towards you.

“I think his name’s Corey.” You chuckled and she nodded quickly.

“You’re right. Anyway, he told me that there was going to be a little get-together tonight. We should go there.” She sat up on her bed and put her phone down on the nightstand, looking at you with a pleading look.

“No need to convince me with that look.” You pointed at her face. ”Of course we’re going!” 

A couple hours later you found yourself in the cafeteria. The room was buzzing with excited chatter. You loved it. Snacks had been prepared so you and Kelly grabbed yourself some sandwiches before sitting down at one of the tables. A few groups had already formed but people were still arriving.

You were hoping that you’d meet some people that were studying the same as you. Kelly was going to study Linguistics and unfortunately, you wouldn’t be sharing any classes with her. It would be nice to get to know some people before classes started next week. 

“Hi, sorry.  Is this seat already taken?” Someone had placed a hand on the backrest of the chair next to you and you turned your head to look at them. You were greeted with a tall, brunet guy. His blue eyes were looking at you with a kind expression and you quickly shook your head.

“No. Go ahead.” You gestured towards the seat and he sat down. 

“I’m Ryan.” He introduced himself. “Are you first-year students, too?” He looked between you and Kelly. 

“Yeah, I’m studying Linguistics. The name’s Kelly.” Kelly said before taking a bite from her sandwich.

“I’m Y/N. I’m studying Film and Comparative Literature.” You smiled at him. Meeting new people was easier than expected. His eyes widened a bit when he heard what you were studying.

“No way. Me, too.” His face broke into a smile and so did yours. 

Find someone who’s studying the same subjects. Check.

For the rest of the evening, the three of you got to know each other better and exchanged numbers. You and Ryan compared your schedules and it turned out that you were sharing a lot of classes. 

When the cafeteria gradually became less crowded you all decided to call it a night. 

“I heard the literature department is throwing some type of welcoming party on Friday.” He mentioned as you were walking towards the stairwell. “Would you guys like to join me and my roommate?” 

You and Kelly looked at each other for a second before you both nodded.

“Yeah, that sounds fun!” Kelly said while starting to climb the stairs.

“Awesome, I can come by your room and pick you up?” He offered and you shrugged your shoulders but nodded again.

“Sure. Our room is 106.” 

Kelly had already reached the door leading to your hallway. She was waiting for you with a mischievous look on her face.

“So, he was cute.” Kelly said as soon as Ryan was out of hearing range.

“He was, wasn’t he? A really nice guy.” You nodded pulling your key out of the pocket of your jeans.

“He was definitely checking you out the whole time.”  Kelly chuckled and you rolled your eyes.

“He was just being nice.”

“Nuh-uh. He couldn’t keep his eyes off you.” She wiggled her eyebrows while you unlocked the door to your room. 

“Don’t be ridiculous.”

***

The day of the party had arrived quickly. You had spent the whole week mingling with people and you were excited to meet even more and have a good time with Kelly, Ryan and his roommate Jordan. You had just finished coating your lashes with mascara when Ryan knocked on your door.  Because Kelly was closest to the door she went and opened it. 

“Hey, c’mon in. We’re almost ready.” Ryan entered the room and looked around for a moment. His hands were placed in the front pockets of his jeans. 

“I like what you’ve done with the room. Ours still looks pretty bland.” 

You and Kelly had decorated your room throughout the week. Both of you had stuck pictures and posters on your wall and placed a few decorative items here and there. Your mum had gotten you quite a bit before you moved here and it made the room look much more like a home rather than a hotel room. 

“Thank you.” You said with a smile as you tucked your make up away. 

A few students were having pre-drinks in the cafeteria so that was your first destination. Jordan was already downstairs and had saved a few drinks for your group. 

“Good to see you guys.” Jordan exclaimed and greeted both you and Kelly with a hug before handing each of you a drink. Throughout the week you had visited many introduction events with the two boys and Kelly and had gotten to know them quite well already, considering you’d met not even a week ago.

“To the start of our student life.” Kelly cheered and raised the bottle a bit. You followed suit and clinked the neck of your bottle against hers.  

The party was being held in a small club not far from the student residence so you collectively decided to walk there. The walk was filled with laughter and when you reached the club you got in almost immediately. You felt the beat thumping through your body as you followed Ryan and Jordan further into the club. You held Kelly’s hand clutched in yours so you wouldn’t lose her as you squeezed through the crowd of people. You were walking by the bar which was right by the entrance of the club. There wasn’t a lot of space for people to walk by and as you tried to keep your eyes on the dark green shirt that Ryan was wearing, you suddenly felt an elbow connect with your face. It wasn’t that painful but there was enough force behind the unintentional punch to send your head back a bit. Your hand cupped your cheek as you let out a groan.

“Oh my gosh. I’m sorry.” The person who had punched you turned around and placed their hands on your shoulder as you blinked repetitively. When you finally looked at the guy in front of you, you lost your ability to speak for a moment. Brown eyes were looking at you with concern and you closed your eyes for another moment wondering if you were dreaming or if the hit to your head had been worse than you thought. But he was still standing in front of you. Tom Holland. You hadn’t seen him in years. 

The last time you saw him you were fifteen, maybe sixteen, and the ripped guy in front of you had nothing to do with the scrawny boy you remembered. The white t-shirt he was wearing was tight over his muscles and a backward ball cap was covering his brown curls. 

You suddenly snapped out of it and looked back into his face his lips now pulled into a smirk.

“I don’t believe we’ve met.” He said. “I’m Tom.” He removed one of his hands from your shoulder and reached it out for you. You just rolled your eyes.

“We have, actually.” You raised an eyebrow either he didn’t recognise you or he forgot about you completely. You didn’t know which was worse. 

“Did we? I’m sorry I must’ve been drunk.” He chuckled a little. “What’s your name again?” You felt like not telling him just to spite him. But you decided against it.

“Y/N, we were next-door neighbours for ten years. Does that ring any bells?” You watched his eyebrows shoot up, almost touching his hairline. 

“Oh.” 

“Yeah.” 

“You look...different.” He almost stammered.

“Thanks?” You looked at him questioningly not sure if that was supposed to be a good thing.

“I’m sorry. I- uh, I should get back to my friends.” He pointed to somewhere in the back of the club. 

“Yeah, sure.” You nodded. You hadn’t expected him to want to talk about the good old times anyway. 

“Sorry again. For accidentally punching you.” You waved your hand in a dismissive way. 

“Don’t worry about it.” And with that, he disappeared into the group of people. When you turned around to Kelly she was looking at you with wide eyes. 

“Who the fuck was that?” 

“Tom Holland. We went to school together.” You shrugged your shoulders. 

“Hold up a minute. He used to be your neighbour and you went to school with him and he didn’t even recognise you just now?” She was pointing in the general direction of where Tom had gone. 

“He didn’t really pay much attention to me.” He had paid attention to you, but you didn’t feel like telling Kelly that your childhood best friend had betrayed you in the worst way when he decided to make your life a living hell. 

Part 2

Thank you so much for reading 💕

Tags:

tagging mutuals + favs in this first part in case you’re interested:   @parkeret​ // @parkerpeter24​ // @starsholland​ //  // @spidermanlondon​ // @tomhollandsblog​ // @mannien​​ // @thirsttrapholland​ // @starksparker​ // @madmadmilk​ // @keepingupwiththeparkers​ // @heyhihellowhatsup0​ // @angelic-holland​ // @screamholland​ // 

everything taglist: @rachaeldonnaspiteri1 // @localfangirlx // @averyfosterthoughts // @parkerpeter24 // @mrhollandisart // @tloveswriting // @tomhollandloverrrr​ 

Two Lies and a Truth taglist: @sad-sagita​

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[princessbunnyblossom]

First and last of her kind Ch 5 Meet the Off Colors

The small spinel stared up at the two gems who looked to be connected or maybe that was the darkness playing tricks with her eyes. Or so she thought, a red light appeared coming from their red gem which was located on their navel. Spinel could only stare in horror she didn’t know what she was staring at was real. Two gems connected by the hip. Before Spinel opened her mouth about to scream in terror a hand immediately pressed against her mouth silencing her.

“Shh.” The left gem said putting a dingle hand to their mouth looking worried.

“If you make too much noise p, that machine that was following you might find us.” The right gem told her.

Spinel stared at them wanting to speak but her throat felt so dry and raspy talking felt almost impossible for her. That and the years of not using her own voice must’ve taken it’s terrible toll with her. However the small gem still shook as she was scared of seeing something completely different. She didn’t even know what type of them they were.

“Hey it’s okay.” The left one said calmly.

“We won’t hurt you.” The right one spoke.

Spinel looked up and smiled softly at them she didn’t want to be rude but knew that speaking right now wasn’t really an option. She was great fun that they seemed to understand...well a little.

“You're not hurt are you?” The right gem asked.

Spinel shook her head

“C'mon we should go.” The left gem said calmly.

Spinel nodded and followed the two strange red gems down into the depths of the cavern. Spinel was relieved though they seemed to be far away from those scary machines and there seemed to be more emergence holes. Spinel wondered where they were going and honestly wanted to ask since it was probably best that she didn’t follow complete strangers but than again they did save her life so were they honestly strangers?

“We’re the Rutile twins by the way.” The right gem said to the small pink spinel.

“Who are you?” The left twin asked.

Spinel opened her mouth trying to say something p, anything but nothing came out. She tried again hearing something raspy come from her mouth which ended up swindling her into a coughing fit. It hurt. It really did hurt. Spinel could feel a bit of blood get onto her hands as she coughed trying to regain air. Despite not needing any. Both twins panicked a little when seeing her distressful display.

“H-hey! You don’t need to talk if you don’t want to. We understand.” The left twin cried.

Spinel painted softly her coughing dying down and she nodded wiping off the pink blood off of her bottom lip. She had no clue what had happened, she was just trying to speak and then last thing she knew she was coughing out blood. Six thousand years without talking really did mess her up she figured. Spinel shuttered not wanting to dwell on why she was unable to speak and simply followed the two Rutile twins and stopped when she heard a voice.

“I will predict that the Rutile twins will return safely and bring a new gem into our quarters,” a small orange gem chimed.

“We know Padparadscha, it already happened.” Another voice said coming out of their hole they had four arms and four eyes and at first it started Spinel seeing something so different causing her to yelp put in fear which caused the other gem to cry out in fear as well.

“Hey it’s okay, it’s just our friend Rhodonite. She won’t hurt you.” One of the twins said calmly reassuring the frightened spinel.

Spinel on the other hand felt terrible for scaring another gem who most definitely didn’t deserve to get scared. The small gem opened her mouth in attempt to apologize to the gem she spooked but knew that talking would prove to be pointless and she closed her mouth. The small pink gem instead gave the fusion gem an apologetic look to which Rhodonite seemed to acknowledge.

“I-Kts alright I’m sorry if I scared you too.” Rhodonite said and took notice of Spinel’s gem.

“W-wait? Your gem is a perfect cut. I’ve never seen a gem like yours before.” She said calmly.

“Maybe she’s a special gem?” Padparadscha said cheerfully.

“What type of gem?” Rhodonite asked out loud.

Spinel remained quiet as she stared at the two gems and gasped when her eyes caught something lurking around behind the two gems causing her to gasp and back away in fear.

“Oh that’s Fluorite she won’t hurt you.” Padparadscha states calmly.

Spinel nodded but she still seemed afraid of the odd looking gem.

“So what’s your name?” The orange sapphire asked.

Spinel looked down feeling sad for a moment unable to speak.

“She can’t talk.” The left Rutile twin said, placing a hand on her shoulder.

“She can’t?” Came a sad tone from Rhodonite.

“So sad.” Padparadscha said, looking swd.

Spinel looked away ashamed for being unable to speak.

“It’s alright. You don’t need to...if you don’t want to.” Said a slow toned voice from Fluorite.

Spinel looked up junking from what she saw but smiled and tried not to get so spooked by the gem she was seeing. Spinel was grateful. These gems, they understood her situation.

“We shouldn’t waste too much time Lars is waiting for us.” Rhodonite said.

“Right.” Both twins said in union.

“I will predict that captain Lars will be waiting for us to leave.” Padparadscha chimed.

Everyone began heading down another secret tunnel of the underground of Homeworld and . It was so strange Spinel could see so many holes of where gems had emerged from. Who knew that there were underground tunnels and kindergartens down here. Spinel could see from the other side of the tunnel that there was a spaceship waiting for them. There standing near the ship was a tall pink thing that Spinel couldn’t seem to recognize. They didn’t appear to be a gem that the small spinel had seen before, granted she never saw any gems ever since she was placed in the garden, but the tall pink creature didn’t seem to even look like a gem nor have one. So this must be Kars as the other gems called him

The pink captain looked to be wearing a cape and some gloves having a captain like appearance. His eyes scanned the small pink gem and he looked at the two Rutile twins as they spoke explaining the situation.

“We found her in the caverns.” The left twin said.

“We wanted to bring her along with us.” The right twin replied.

Lars as stared at the small pink gem and listened as the small orange sapphire spoke up.

“Can she come?” Padparadscha asked sweetly. Lars remained quiet which scared the small gem as she desperately needed needed to get out of Homeworld, she was deathly afraid of being shattered for her crimes of what she had done, she didn’t think she could fathom what they might do to her when they find her.

“She can come.” Came a calm voice p.

Spinel sighed relived on hearing that but looked up as he spoke again.

“I will ask, what’s a gem like you doing all the way here?” He asked her gesturing to her perfect cut gem.

Spinel stared at the pink human and looked down knowing of what would come next.

“She cannot talk.” Florite said slowly.

Lars nodded and stared at the small pink gem sensing her frustration.

The pink teen closed his eyes and sighed. They needed to get moving.

“C'mon let’s go. I don’t want anyone to find us.” Lars replied, turning to head into the ship.

Spinel jumped at the mention of being found, if she was caught she would have to find somewhere else to hide, or worse. She followed the gems inside the ship and watched as the ship's doors closed; this was it. She would leave Homeworld for good. In all honestly it did make her feel very sad thinking about how she’ll never be able to see her diamond again, how she’ll never be able to play in the garden like they used to or how she’ll never be able to see her beloved friend Pearl again. Spinel could feel her eyes water but she sucked in a breath. No, she couldn’t think of going back now. There was nothing there for her anymore. There were no games, no friends, and no joy. Just the dying garden and she didn’t want to got there anymore. Spinel shuttered, wiping her wet eyes. No she didn’t want to stay in that scary garden any longer it made her gem ache and her mind spiral downwards into not so nice thoughts.

Spinel stared out of the windows and watched as they flew out in one of the cave’s openings and into the sky and away from the machine-like planet. Spinel looked at the world below her staring at the white, yellow, blue and pink buildings and towers. It was so bizarre to see. All those years spent in the garden and only now was she seeing Homeworld. It both frustrated and saddened Spinel, but she tried to not think about it too much. She didn’t want to start crying all over again like a big baby.

‘Like a big crybaby that you were a useless whiny baby that Pink hated,’ her mind hissed.

Spinel teared her eyes away from the window when the pink boy spoke up.

“Since you're here now, can you tell us who you are? Or how you ended with the Rutile twins?” Lars asked her.

Spinel looked at him, opened her mouth and closed her mouth as she looked down, unable to speak. She gently tapped her throat and shook her head as if to tell him her unfortunate situation.

“Ah right forget, my bad.” The pink teen said and dug around for something.

Spinel looked away for a brief moment but gasped softly when this nice thing other than a gem handed her a pad of somwesort and a thin object.

“Can you write?” Lars asked her.

Spinel stared confused tilting her head. The young captain sighed . Right aliens he forgot. Yet he was determined to get any information about this gem.

“Well as you can guess I’m Lars. I’m captain of this ship.” The young teen said.

Spinel looked at him and smiled kindly at him which drew relief from the young captain. Well at least she understood what he was saying. That was a start.

“I assume you already met the off-colors.” He said.

The small gem stared at him confused.

“He means us.” Rhodonite added.

The small gem turned to face the odd gem and pointed as if to say ‘you guys.’

The Rutile twins nodded the right one speaking.

“Yes, that’s us. We were hiding from the machines you saw.”

“We needed to remain hidden so Homeworld wouldn’t find us.” The left Rutile twin said.

“If they did find us.” The left one said looking away.

“We would be shuttered without question.” The right twin said finishing the sentence for her other half.

Spinel gasped softly pink eyes darting around anxiously.

“It’s okay though, as long as we get to earth and meet with the rest we should be safe.” Lars said, trying to ease the sacred gem.

Spinel looked at the captain of the ship and replayed what he arias. Meet the rest? Did he mean that there were more gems? Gems like the Rutile twins and gems like Padparadscha and Rhodonite? Spinel remained silent thinking to herself. Earth, they were heading to earth? Was he being serious? Spinel snapped out of her daze when she heard the small orange sapphire speak up.

“What about you?” Padparadscha asked Spinel.

Spinel looked down trying to think for a bit, even though she was unable to speak and didn’t understand or know how to write she decided that she could maybe draw something out and try to explain her situation. Lars and the rest of the gems looked on as the small pink spinel began exposing her story in a drawing. First she should probably tell them her name. The little disheveled gem did her best to draw out the garden in space. She drew a large rock with a dome around it and herself surrounded by flowers and all organic matter.

“Is that….where you came..,from?” Florite asked slowly.

Spinel nodded..

“So you came from a garden in space.” One of the Rutile twins said out loud.

Spinel nods again.

“Alright. What else?” Lars asked.

Spinel hummed and began writing in very old gem language her name. At first it didn’t seem like anyone on ship seemed to understand the old text but Fluorite smiled.

“Spinel.” She said slowly yet there was a happy calm feeling in her voice.

“Huh?” One of the twins asked.

“That’s her name.” Florite said calmly.

Everyone on board looked at the small gem and smiled. Happy to know her name finally after some time without her even speaking and Lars smiled kindly at her.

“Welcome aboard Spinel.” He said causing the small gem to giggle happily though tege were some coughs mixed in with it.

Spinel then proceeded to draw her diamond, Pink Diamond.

“That’s your diamond who you served.” Padparadscha chimed cheerfully.

Spinel paused but nodded.

The small pink gem shows them her diamond asking yet not receiving a colony, then after asking so many times she finally gets a colony of her own. Earth. Spinel begins to draw herself and her diamond, both of them smiling and the small gem sucks in a breath trying to steady her hand as it keeps shaking. Spinel proceeds to draw Pink stopping Spinel from coming to earth. Spinel shutters But continues on drawing Pink telling her to wait in the garden. The off colors remain quiet noting her slight distress. Spinel slowly and carefully begins draws out her diamond telling her that this was a game and draws herself standing there with a smile.

The small spinel The begins drawing the garden dying off, the flowers withering the trees dying the garden losing its color becoming pale and disgusting it's once beautiful stature now lay in ruins for all those who are unfortunate to stumble upon it. However that’s when things began getting disturbing as Spinel began drawing the garden in a much heavier darker line with the pencil as she began to eerily and realistically depict what it was like for her. The dying grass in the garden rotted before her eyes. Pillars of the garden crumbled before her, the trees twisting and bark falling off of them while the breaches looked like massive hands ready to snatch anything up in their path. The flowers withered and dead shriveled up into morning but a disgusting disfigured plant and the butterflies no more as they too died alongside the garden. The pounds were nothing more but a sickly looking black goo with dead and dried plants of once water lilies and such. It overall looked dreadful to be in and her details in the drawing was nightmare fuel.

Spinel breathed heavily, her eyes were shaking and she was practically trembling, she she had managed to draw herself standing all alone in the dying garden and as she stared at the drawing she made she could feel an onslaught of tears flooding her eyes and she was unable to hold them back as she felt the, spill down her cheeks. It reminded whist as Lars spoke in a soft and gentle tone.

“She left you behind..” He whispered.

Spinel could only look up at him with sad eyes wet with tears and poked away not sure of how to respond to something like that then again she might not be able to at all. The small gem hid her face in her hands as she wept silently.