#cannot and will not recover from this lyric

[tillxthexearthxstartsxtoxcrumble]

I used to be a real go-getter

I used to think it'd all get better

[river-of-wine]

If it’s meant to be, then it will be

[firstofficerkittycat]

the way when i was 13 rings of akhaten destroyed me mentally (derogatory) and then i rewatched it to make that edit expecting to feel the same way and am now coming back to That Scene like 8 times a day and it is destroying me mentally (affectionate)

[why4anne]

Juno

Pairing: Joe Burrow x Reader

Category: Social Media au

Summary: Pop star Y/N L/N cannot behave herself on social media. But who can blame her when her boyfriend looks like that?

Face claim: Sabrina Carpenter

Masterlist

yourusername:

liked by joeyb_9, taylorswift and others

yourusername: Just a little something I wrote recently🤭

Juno out tonight 8pm EST

view comments:

user1: Girlie is finally releasing music again?? Album when???

user2: Pop is back!

user3: you'll find me SCREAMING

user4: Juno?? Like the goddess of love and marriage..?

- user5: Wait! You're onto something!!!!

- user6: y'all what if she means the movie

- user7: what movie?

- user6: Dang, you're making me feel old

taylorswift: They're not ready for it

- user8: TAYLOR????? HELLOOOO??

- user9: REP TV REFERENCE!!!

- user10: easter egg??!!!

- user 11: girl that's a whole easter basket

joeyb_9: nice dress

- user12: excuse me? sir?

- user13: I just know they're up to something

lahjay10_: Joe has not stopped smiling all morning practice

- user14: It's about him then???

- user15: He's giggling and kicking his feet I just know it

user16: Joe can you fight??

- joeyb_9: yes I can

- user16: oop- I was not expecting that

- user17: he gagged you fr

user18: I don't know if I wanna be her, or be with her

- user19: the struggle is real

yourusername:

liked by joeyb_9, zendaya and others

yourusername: oops... wrong pic🤭 Juno out now btw

view comments:

user1: you're this thirsty on main????!!!!

user2: girl calm down

user3: NOW THATS WHAT I CALL AN OVULATION SONG

user4: I'm actually speechless after listening to this...

- user5: No becuase WHAT DO YOU MEAN MARK YOUR TERRITORY???!!

user5: hold me and explore me??? GIRL!

user6: SOMEONE NEEDS TO CONTROL MY GIRL Y/N

- user7: we need to spay her frfr

user8: tf you mean freaky positions???

user9: I mean, have you seen her man??? I don't blame her

- user10: The only pop-girlie with a hot boyfriend I fear

- user11: Louis Partridge exists yk

user12: I was gonna say you swan🦢 he frog🐸 but I fear can't

user13: how are you able to look your parents in the eyes after this girl???

user14: She and Joe be freaky like that ig

joeyb_9: I feel honored

- user15: YOU GUYS ARE INSANE!!

- user16: did not expect this when I woke up this morning

- user17: Joe, are you well???

user18: I always knew they were freaky

yourusername:

liked by joeyb_9, milliebobbybrown and others

yourusername: One of me is cute, but two though?

Surprise! Double whammy you guys 34+35 out now!

view comments:

user1: SHE'S INSANE!

user2: nah what do you mean 34+35??? you freakyyyyy!!!

user3: tf you mean "got the neighbors yelling earthquake"????

user4: What kind of freak-juice do they put in the water in Cincinnati?

user5: Let me breath, damn. I haven't even recovered from Juno yet

joeyb_9: I can make sure that there is two of you by this time next year

- yourusername: I just might let you🤭

- lahjay10_: BRING BACK SHAME!!!!

- jjettas2: NORMALIZE BULLYING!!!

- user6: Ja'marr?? Justin?? hello???

- user7: I stand with Justin and Ja'marr because writing this on main is CRAZY

- user8: WE NEED TO PUT BOTH JOE AND Y/N IN HORNY JAIL!

user9: That's enough screen time for you missy

user10: THESE LYRICS ARE CRAZYYYY

- user11: They're not even trying to be subtle

user12: Didn't Joe say in one interview that he goes to bed by like 8pm. Tf you mean "we started at midnight, go 'til the sunrise"??

- user13: One of them is lying and I think it's the blonde one

- user14: both of them are blonde

- user13: @/youmissedthejoke

user15: yall are acting like this is sum crazy shit but if I had a boyfriend who looked like that I would be acting WAYYYY worse

- user16: FR! Like if I looked like Y/N and my bf looked like Joe, you would not be catching us leaving the house

yourusername:

liked by joeyb_9, alix_earle and others

yourusername: Have you ever tried this one?

view comments:

user1: Ma'am there are kids on this app

joeyb_9: yeah we did it last night, remember?

- yourusername: no, can you remind me😇

- lahjay10_: EW EW EW EW EW

- lahjay10_: THAT'S ENOUGH!

- lahjay10_: I NEED BLEACH FOR MY EYES

- lahjay10_: I'M TELLING MANAGEMENT!!

- lahjay10_: THIS IS AN HR ISSUE

- user2: is Ja'marr okay?

- user3: He's crashing out

- user4: bro is tweaking

user5: we can try it out if you want to🤭

- joeyb_9: She's busy

- user6: we need lock him up or something

- yourusername: would handcuffs suffice?

- user7: EXCUSE ME!!???

- user8: Girl this is a public comment section!

- user9: Saying that on Beyonce's internet is CRAZY

user10: looked at myself and sighed

user11: girl, who is in charge of your social media??

user12: we need to lobotomize her or something

lahjay10_:

liked by teehiggins, andreiiosivas and others

lahjay10_: The trenches look a little different when you in the inside of the Spectre.

view comments:

user1: #unblocky/n

user2: #unblocky/n

user3: #unblocky/n

user4: #unblocky/n

joeyb_9: #unblocky/n

- user5: help- not Joe joining us

- user6: y/n is this you?

- joeyb_9: Nope, this is actually Joe

- user7: I can't with this man😭

lahjay10_: aight what the hell is going on?

- user8: #unblocky/n

- user9: #unblocky/n

yourusername: I'VE BEEN UNBLOCKED!!🥳

- user10: welcome back queen

- lahjay10_: hope you happy now

- yourusername: the happiest😁

yourusername:

liked by joeyb_9, andreiiosivas and others

yourusername: AAAAAAAHHHH! JOE BURROW PLEASE PUSH ME UP A WALL AND THROW ME ACROSS THE ROOM! I wanna climb this man like a tree. I wanna gnaw on his biceps like a beaver and I wanna scratch his back like a goddamn feral cat!

view comments:

user1: is she okay?

user2: I can just tell that she's ovulating

user3: well you can actually do that if you want to #wearenotthesame

user4: on main is CRAZY

user5: I didn't realize this was Y/N's account, deadass thought it was a horny fan-account💀

joeyb_9: That can be arranged

- user6: He's so nonchalant with it😭

- user7: I know I should be used to this by now but at the same time his comments never fails to flabbergast me

- user8: Remember when we used to have shame?

- jjettas2: pause.

user9: Yall are calling her crazy but she's so real for this

user10: I can't with this girl💀

andreiiosivas: are you okay?

- user11: Help not Andrei lowkey being concerned😭

- user12: She just ovulating, don't worry

[This post has been deleted]

yourusername:

liked by joeyb_9, lahjay10_ and others

yourusername: Juno is now number one on the Billboard hot 100! Thank you so much to everyone who streamed🩵

view comments:

user1: this caption does not sound like my girl Y/N

user2: where is crazy Y/N?

user3: did you get your social media hacked or sum?

user4: I think her team took her social media away😭

- user5: yeah cuz her last (extremely unhinged) post was deleted too

- user6: Noooooo! I lived for Y/N's posts

- user7: me too girl😔

user8: I'll miss you diva💜

user9: #wewanty/n

- user10: #wewanty/n

- user11: #wewanty/n

- user12: #wewanty/n

user13: congratulations, but please give my girl back her account

user14: The biggest sign that this isn't Y/N is that Joe didn't comment

- user15: fr! he always comments on her posts

- user16: he's silent protesting💀

lahjay10_: I can finally scroll on instagram without getting a jumpscare🙏 I used to pray for times like this!

- user17: Ja'Marr😭

- user18: Bro rejoicing💀

joeyb_9:

liked by lahjay10_, sam_hubbard_ and others

joeyb_9: Since someone got her social media privileges taken away, I had to be the one to post this photo of her because she said: "I look cute in this photo, the world deserves to witness it"

view comments:

user1: get yourself a man who posts you on his instagram when you can't!

user2: she was right, I had to witness this🙂‍↕️

user3: mother is mothering!!!

lahjay10_: you down bad bro

- joeyb_9: and?

- user4: THAT'S A MAN!

- user5: I swear my pants were JUST on

jjettas2: what happened to the social media break?

- joeyb_9: boyfriend duties called

- user6: When he breaks his social media break for you>>

user7: Thank you for blessing us like this🙏

user8: I am straight, I am straight, I am straight

user9: Joe is so lucky😔

- user10: He gets to wake up to this everyday😫

- joeyb_9: It's a pretty sweet sight ngl

- user 11: STOP😭

- user12: bro be reading all the comments

- joeyb_9: gotta make sure only nice things are said

- user13: stop that's so cute🥹

One year later:

yourusername:

liked by joeyb_9, jjettas2 and others

yourusername: I let him make me Juno

view comments:

joeyb_9: Prettiest mommy in the whole world ❤️

user1: OMG I AM TOTALLY NOT FREAKING OUT!

user2: mother is a real mother???

user3: Those unhinged posts actually led to this???

user4: CONGRATS!!!!

jjettas2: Congratulations you two! So happy for you!

teehiggins: QB loading...

lahjay10_: Blessed to be baby Burrow's uncle🙏

sam_hubbard_: Congratulations!❤️

andraiiosivas: The best parents!

user5: when mama y papa actually become mama y papa🥲

[love-belle]

i bet you think about me !!!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ in which their post break-up era is just them shading each other on instagram and co parenting their cat.

or

for when you know they're thinking about you. ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

social media au // lando norris x fem!reader

sequel - i'll be loving you for quite some time ⋆·˚ ༘ *

warnings - language. both the reader and lando are petty bitches having a petty virtual stand-off.

author's note - hello!!!!! so sorry for the wait, i've been busy with stuff :/// i really hope u like this <3 thank u so much for reading!!! i love u <3

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by carlossainz55, pierregasly, lewishamilton and 786,416 others

landonorris happier than ever.

8,927 comments

username THE CAPTION

username oh.

username no bc why did this hurt me.

username my heart can't take it what the fuck

danielricciardo unnecessary caption but alright.

-> landonorris i did not lie though???

username WHY IS THIS HAPPENING

username i haven't recovered from their breakup and now ur telling me that they ended on bad terms??????

-> username no they're fine!!!!!!! this is just lando being silly!!!!!!!!!!!!!

username no bc why THE FUCK is lando out here looking all fine while my girl y/n was seen crying in front of her mom yesterday

-> username weren't there rumours that they broke up bc y/n was committed to this relationship more than lando was????

-> username oh what the fuck

username "happier than ever" like we didn't see u and y/n all those years with eachother

maxverstappen1 👍

*liked by landonorris*

username nah bc if i was y/n i would be so hurt by this what the fuck.

-> username imagine going through a breakup after being together for more than 2 years and they post THIS after a WEEK like

lilymhe fake ass bitch

*this comment has been deleted*

username god i love lily defending her wifey

username LANDO HOW AM U SUPPOSED TO DEFEND U LIKE THIS

username no bc my heart's aching for y/n she doesn't deserve this

charles_leclerc need to talk to you real quick.

-> carlossainz55 just a friendly chat!

-> username oh they're maaaaaaad

username im a child of divorce what the fuck

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

yourusername i’ll think of something else your initial can stand for

*this post is not available*

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by lilymhe, carmenmmundt, danielricciardo and 789,979 others

yourusername blocking him isn't enough when i want to throw tomatoes at his head like he's a medieval criminal

8,926 comments

username PLEASE

username SOMEONE TELL ME THEY SAW Y/N'S LAST POST

-> username NO BC WHEN U TELL U MY HEART BROKE

-> username "i’ll think of something else your initial can stand for" do u want me to cry.

username bet lando feels like an asshole after seeing that post 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

-> username imagine fumbling so hard 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

lilymhe replace those tomatoes with concrete blocks and we're good!

-> yourusername alright slow down

-> username HELP

username y/n liking all the comments roasting lando but blocking all the ones who are hating on him is actually so personal to me

-> username like girl hates him but only she's allowed to do it

-> username my parents!!!!!!!!! divorced but parents nonetheless!!!!!!!!!

charles_leclerc i can arrange the tomatoes

-> carlossainz55 i can lock him in a room for you to throw tomatoes at him

-> danielricciardo i can stand by and record the whole thing for you to look back on and laugh

-> yourusername i adore each one of you wtf ☹️☹️☹️

username that prev caption hits hard knowing that lando got her a necklace with his initial 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

username THE LYRICS TOOK ME OUT OMG

username imagine breaking up with ur bf and seeing that post he posted after you posted a heartbreaking yet wistful post abt him like

-> username ngl that's gonna be my last straw

francisca.cgomes asking pierre to show it to him brb

-> yourusername LMFAOOO PLEASE

username this is so chaotic i CANNOT

username mother is mothering so hard after her breakup

-> username she broke free of the shackles 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

*liked by yourusername*

username babe it's okay me and our kids forgive u just come home ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

maxverstappen1 sending this to him

-> yourusername do it no balls

-> username pls she's so unserious i love her 😭😭😭

*liked by yourusername*

username i KNOW he looked at this post and cried

*liked by yourusername*

username me when they still post abt eachother but indirectly and with shady undertones 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😘😘😘😘😘😘😘

username i will get over a lot of things but i will never get over y/n and lando breaking up

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by pierregasly, carlossainz55, maxverstappen1 and 758,989 others

landonorris pov: you're better now 🤍

7,926 comments

username pov ur a liar.

username lando it's okay honey u don't have to lie

username he said this yk like a liar

maxverstappen1 not me watching you wipe your tears right now

-> landonorris LEAVE ME ALONE

username the way i've been crying since i found out and it's not even my relationship like DAMN.

username lando how does it feel to fumble a bad bitch like y/n 🎤🎤🎤

username no bc i KNOW the drivers reallllllllly gave it to lando after they found out about the breakup

username IS THAT Y/N'S CAT

-> username they're co parenting caz 💀💀💀

-> username it's weekend with dad ig 😭😭😭

danielricciardo pov: you're a liar ❤️

-> landonorris choke ❤️

username max and daniel really calling him out on his bullshit 💀💀💀

-> username as they should

username the way i fell to the floor when the articles first came out abt their breakup

username so y/n WAS committed to this relationship more than he was

username me having a nice day and suddenly remembering the fact that lando once said that y/n was everything he had spent his life looking for and everything he thought he'd never find

-> username I WAS HAVING A NICE WHY DO U DO THIS TO ME

username "pov: you found your soulmate" hahahahahaha!!!! im fine!!!! totally not going crazy over this!!!!!

-> username do u get deja vu

carlossainz55 lies.

-> landonorris blocked.

username need them back together again for mental stability i fear

username they're actually very happy together my delusions told me!!!!!!!

username no way they're just over like that when we could SEE how much they loved eachother like

-> username the articles being all "they had different priorities" NO MF THEY KEPT SAYING HOW THEY COULDN'T WAIT FOR THEIR FUTURE TOGETHER

-> username to the person who wrote those articles, drop the addy i just wanna talk :)

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by lewishamilton, francisca.cgomes, lilymhe and 779,189 others

yourusername when u know he's gonna think u every time he hears a taylor swift song and it'll make him want to CRY

7,532 comments

username the ultimate revenge

username the way i lit up whenever i see one of them posted but it's literally just them shading eachother like I CANNOT.

username LMFAOOOOO

carmenmmundt he'll listen to lover and it'll make him want to cry

-> georgerussell63 playing that the next time he walks in a room

-> yourusername thank u for ur service carmen's bf

username the way this whole thing is like a tennis match 💀💀💀

username ngl this is so entertaining

username couple weeks since they broke up and this is how their post breakup era is going

-> username when they're still so 🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼

username they're just being silly!!!!!!!! just a prank y'all!!!!!!!! silly y/n and lando!!!!!!!!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

danielricciardo can confirm that exile was playing when i walked into his driver's room

-> yourusername HELP OMG

-> username not exile LMFAOO

username why are u so pretty

username post break up glow be hitting different ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

*liked by yourusername*

username women become 1000000x more beautiful everytime a m*n disappoints them

*liked by yourusername*

lilymhe asking alex to make all the playlists just taylor swift babe we're destroying his peace

-> yourusername OKAY SLOW DOWN FOR A MIN

username y/n telling her fans to be kind and lando straight up to ignoring everything does tell u a lot abt them tbh but some people are not ready for that conversation yet

-> username the way y/n and him were FINE after their breakup until he posted with that caption likeeeee

-> username nah bc what if.............HE WAS THE PROBLEM

-> username men need to go back to war

lewishamilton can't wait to see you next week!! roscoe misses his favourite dogsitter!!

-> yourusername missing my buddy so much 🤍🤍🤍 see you both next week!!!!!!!

username the entire grid adores her i can TELL

username this is what he deserves

username no bc i know im supposed to sad that they broke up but them posting abt each other indirectly while having the other person blocked is so hilarious

username my y/nlando heart 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

username the grid still being close to y/n is so 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by lewishamilton, charles_leclerc, danielricciardo and 799,186 others

landonorris how i feel every time i hear a taylor swift song and my mind goes straight to her

7,931 comments

username NOT HIM USING HIMSELF AS MEMES

username so who's gonna tell him.

username people who follow both of them 💀💀💀💀💀

username lando...babe...

username no bc they DO shade eachother and roast eachother since they broke up but the fact that y/n tells all the ppl hating on lando to "shut the fuck up and get a fucking life" and lando straight up blocks them is so 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

username IT'S WHAT SHE WANTS

danielricciardo chuckles knowingly

-> landonorris WHAT DO YOU KNOW

-> danielricciardo NOTHING

-> landonorris WHAT

-> danielricciardo NOTHING OH MY GOD

username smirks

username good.

username yes cry abt it x

username the way "the 1" is literally them LIKE

-> username "it would've been fun if you could've been the one" 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

-> username CAN U HEAR ME CRYING

charles_leclerc this is interesting

-> landonorris ?

username lando being confused is sending me 😭😭😭😭😭😭

username y/n fr manifested this 💀💀💀

username IM GIGGLING THIS IS HILARIOUS

username someone send this to y/n

*liked by danielricciardo*

maxverstappen1 we get what you mean but please stop playing the 1

-> landonorris none can do sorry

username NOT LANDO PLAYING THE 1

username im so 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

username y/n is chuckling rn i can feel it

lilymhe this is interesting!

-> landonorris WHAT IS

username OH MY GOD

username them shading eachother while having the other person blocked is top tier comedy i cant

username the next race is gonna be so interesting I can't wait 🗣️🗣️🗣️

username PLEASE OMG

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by lewishamilton, lilymhe, carmenmmundt and 1,829,851 others

yourusername i bet you think about me

8,467 comments

username MOTHER

username ATE

username HOLY SHIT OH MY GOD

username step on me please.

username i KNOW he looked at this post and cried

lewishamilton as pierre taught me, slayed the house down with boots or whatever

-> yourusername LEWIS OH MY GOD

-> yourusername but thank u that means sm to me 💌

username SHE'S SO SVANAKDJDMKSJSJ

username iconic.

username taylor swift always right !!!!!!!!!!

carmenmmundt pretty pretty

-> yourusername yeah you you

username my bi awakening

-> username that's so real actually

username THIS IS PERFECT

username someone thank daniel for showing lando's post to y/n so that we could get THIS

*liked by danielricciardo*

username WOMEN

lilymhe marry me rn idc i loveeee u ur so pretty ahahahaha pls.

-> yourusername babeeeeee i love u sm we're absolutely getting married idc abt ur bf we're eloping

-> alex_albon it's not even noon yet give me a break

username carmen, lily, kika and y/n ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

username YEAH I BET U THINK ABOUT ME

username he DOES think about u

username no bc if i was lando i would be in my knees screaming crying throwing up for her to take me back

-> username real like how will u explain to people that u ended up fumbling a bad bitch

francisca.cgomes GORGEOUS

-> yourusername I LOVE YOU

username "i don't wanna think of anything else now that i thought of u"

-> username DIDN'T SHE POST THAT WHEN SHE ANNOUNCED THEIR RELATIONSHIP

-> username lord i am not strong enough for this.

username kinda missing them together ://

-> username i miss lando panicking in the comments section everytime y/n posted like homeboy was down BAD

-> username frrrr like he was down SO bad it was almost embarassing

username I JUST GASPED OUT LOUD HOLY FUCK

charles_leclerc can confirm

*liked by yourusername*

username I NEED LANDO'S REACTION TO THIS OMG

username both of their pr personnel are having a field day with this

-> username i would not want to be either of them today 💀💀💀

username exes beefing is so entertaining i swear im here for this petty bitch fight

[everythingne]

all american bitch -- ls2

After a successful concert in Miami, your twin sister is caught having a little moment with her boyfriend outside a club. Most people jump to conclusions, but you have a way to shut everyone up (and give half of the F1 community a heart attack in the process)

logan sargeant x singer!reader

warnings/notes: cheating allegations, cursing, so many sexual innuendos, sexual lyrics, terribly written lyrics should count as a warning... also I wrote this to celebrate logan 2024 <3

fc: gracie abrams

-

04 MAY, INSTAGRAM

urusername made a new post!

liked by logansargeant, oscarpiastri, sistersacc, and 450k others

urusername: miami!! u were ELECTRIC!! a great finish to the first leg of the tour. oh and thank u to both @ logansargeant and @ sistersacc for joining me in miami tn ahead of the gp <3

tagged: sistersacc, logansargeant, williamsracing

lilymhe: LAST PIC??

urusername: people keep sending logan text posts to me and its amazing

user1: girl explain what u were doing last night

user2: patiently waiting on her downfall fr

user3: MOTHER IS MOTHERING!!!

logansargeant: I LOVE YOU BITCH ASS

urusername: I LOVE YOU TOO FUCK HEAD !!! 💙💙

williamsracing: y/n. ur electric.

urusername: im leaving logan for u williams admin

logansargeant: dude what the fuck :(

user4: so we're gonna act like no one saw her cheating?

sistersacc: AAAA SO MUCH FUN THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE U MAD <333

alexalbon: thank u again for inviting me and lily i cannot express the joy of finally meeting the woman logan never shuts up about

user7: not everyone jumping to conclusions jfc

logansargeant made a new post

logansargeant: thank u williams for the incredible season and for trusting this american guy and taking a chance on me. thank u @ urusername for being my rock. see u all next yr 💙

USER HAS LIMITED COMMENTS ON THIS POST.

urusername: so so so proud of u baby <3 u did incredible

logansargeant: thank u <3

alexalbon: see u in a few weeks

oscarpiastri: great job man u did amazing

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EXTRATV made a new post!

liked by 456k others...

extratv: While rumors are spiraling of potential cheating allegations against Y/n L/n, she was spotted with Taylor Swift at a local park in Miami after day two of her residency in the Kaseya Center. Has the checkered flag waved for the American 'It Couple' of F1?

user1: bro its so over for us.

user2: NOOO Y/N SARGEANT PLS </3

user3: people see taylor and think its an immediate break up. taylor literally helped y/n start music bc their moms are besties idk what y'all are on.

user4: reputation era real

--

"Do you see this shit?" You turn to look at Logan behind you, who currently has his face smushed into what was previously your pillow as he attempts to recover sleep from his season of traveling just about everywhere. You would be in the same boat as him if you weren't being hounded over doing your skincare and such everyday for tour. Because of that hounding, you had to take off all the makeup you had put on for dinner as soon as you got home. The dinner was with all your family and friends to celebrate the end of a season and the end of the first leg of your tour.

"No?" Logan blinks open his eyes and you cross the room from your shared bathroom, he lifts the blanket so you can slide in next to him in the bed as the fleeting Florida sun nips warmth into your skin before his warmth envelops you in the comfortable blankets you have across the bed as the fan above rotates on high.

You flip your phone, showing him the pictures of your sister people were using to say you cheated on Logan.

"Oh be so serious." He groans into your side as he looks at the photos, arm draped lazily over you before he plucks the device out of your hands and drags you fully under the blankets with them.

"Don't worry," He murmurs, sleep in his voice, "It'll blow over if we just ignore it."

"Logan they're trying to cancel me on Twitter." You deadpan, rolling into his embrace and snuggling against him.

"Write a song about it like everyone thinks you're doing with Taylor, play it on tour or something.'' He mumbles into the skin of your neck before giving you a soft kiss.

You hate how enticing the idea is.

"You're gonna have to review the lyrics before I post it, because I might make it absolutely filthy." You warn and Logan's eyes widen as he perks up from where he's cuddled into your side.

"Oh please, please, do." His little shit eating grin makes you burst into laughter as you nod, pulling out your notebook from your bedside table and a pen as Logan adjusts so he can watch you scribble down ideas.

-

urusername made a new post!

liked by logansargeant, oscarpiastri, lilymhe, and 215k others...

urusername: im so sorry to @ williamsracing in advance. my new single miami burn comes out tmrw 💙

lilymhe: get em girl.

logansargeant: i apologize in advance to my pr team

williamsracing: logan please.

oscarpiastri: some times i wonder about u two. and then i hear about you and it makes me wish i never asked.

logansargeant: wow love u too man

landonorris: no i heard the demo im with oscar on this

arthurleclerc: prayers to ur pr team !

williamsracing: well now im scared.

[fbfh]

we all know leo is probs a switch. but how do u think he would he do with sub reader??

YO. rip all of us because SHAKING SQUAKING WRITHING MOANING.

Leo with a subby s/o is like an unexpected paradise for him. he literally is such a simp. he's such a munch that his brain short circuits around you. he would let you toss him around like a rag doll. but when he finally shoots his shot and makes a move on you, the moment he sees your eyes go all fuzzy and your brain melt when he touches your face with his big warm hands that smell like metal and firewood??? when he watches your eyes flutter shut and you let out this soft little sigh???? Leo goes fucking ballistic. he can't believe it. he cannot believe that the gorgeous breathtaking angel on earth he's been heartsick over is sighing because he touched your face. he needs a minute to recover from that. then he gets curious. he starts teasing you a little, he starts making eyes at you and watching you flush and get all nervous. he starts touching you casually, an arm around your shoulder, a hand on your waist or your thigh, he starts playing with the waistband of your shorts to see how you react. and every single time it's better than anything he could have possibly concocted in his brilliant little mind. when he kisses you he has to hold you so you don't fall over. tbh it just makes him want to kiss you more. anytime he tries to ask you why you get all dizzy and fuzzy when he kisses you or touches you, tries to work out why your brain melts for him the same way he tries to work out problems in his engineering designs. he tries to figure out the way your pretty mind works, what makes you tick, what it is that makes your cheeks flush and gets you flustered like you do. but every time he does, he's already been kissing you and touching you and paying so much rapt attention to you that you can't form a coherent thought, much less express one. that's when it clicks. that's when he realizes that he's the thing that makes you like this. when I tell you this realization makes him burst into flames it's not an exaggeration. he did not think he could get anymore into you, but here Leo finds himself, pinning you against walls and touching and kissing you all slow, teasing you with his hands and his quippy little comments muttered into your ear more into you than he's ever been. he can't keep his hands off you after that and you don't want him to. by now you know that he knows the power he has over you. and he's still so tender and emotionally intimate and soft and playful with you. and GOD does it drive you wild. he fucks you slow and soft, drawing out orgasm after orgasm from you, knowing just what to do, and he kisses you all over until you feel like you can't breathe. he's so warm, so attentive, and he cannot shut up. he talks you through every single one. every. single. one. he teases you and praises you and gets you so wound up for him, he bites your ear and sucks hickeys into your neck and encourages you to make those pretty noises for him, to drag your nails down his back and pull his hair. and it's bliss. there are no words. and yet, just like it always does with Leo, somehow things get better. after you're both so fucked out that he's been shooting blanks, when you finally collapse into each others arms, you cling to him so tight. you bury your face in his neck and wrap your arms around him. you wish you could crawl into his skin. you breathe in his scent, listen to his blood thrumming through his body and Leo realizes that no matter what you are not going to get tired of him. you actually just like him so much that it's never going to be enough to satisfy you. and he pulls you close in his buff arms and rubs your back and kisses your head. he plays with your hair or taps little morse code messages into your skin, he talks to you, he hums songs, singing pretty spanish lyrics under his breath. and he can tell just by looking at you that you've never felt more at peace. you feel safe with him. you want him. and he is never ever going to disappoint.

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

Odd question but - I'm looking to study in the UK this fall, and I'm trying to get to grips with the grading system. Could you explain the grading boundaries to me please? It's different from the US, as far as I can see!

I found this handy table which you might find useful - I don't really understand the US system either lol.

Here's what I will say though - I have many times before seen Americans online seeing the percentages for the UK grade boundaries and immediately wax lyrical about how EASY and SIMPLE it must be to do well in the UK because OH MY GOD I could tooootally get 70%!!! In the US that's barely a C!!! Wow education must be soooo simple in the UK -

And uh. I have seen very few Americans in those discussions stop and ask themselves how much harder it might be to hit 70% in the UK. Which, as the international academic office in every university will tell you, is the crucial question you absolutely should be asking. Does an American 70% look the same as a UK 70%?

(It Does Not.)

So don't be fooled by that! Over here, at undergrad the pass mark is 40%. 40-49% gets you a third; 50-59% gets you what's varyingly known as a lower second (formally), a 2:2 (most commonly), or a Desmond (by sad people. It's a reference to Desmond Tutu - two two). A 2:2 is also the most commonly awarded degree classification over here.

60-69% is a 2:1, or upper second class honours. And then the top level is the first - 70% and up. The vast majority of firsts are earned by students who got 70-79%. Exceptional work pushes into the 80s. It is incredibly rare that you ever see a mark in the 90s, and when you do, it's almost always on maths papers where there are right or wrong answers and that's it.

I can't remember how the US's summa cum laude etc stuff maps onto that, though you could probably find that on Google as well. But as a rule of thumb, think first = excellent, 2:1 = good, 2:2 = fair, and third = you need to be careful and see what you can do to improve (although that is still a pass at university and that is not to be sniffed at).

Ooh, as a final point, though, there's also how assessment works, which again, I know is very different over here (again I don't really understand it in the US). Your lecturer cannot set random work here and there to count as summative assessment. Every module is different in how it's set up, but let's give an example:

Module: Coastal and Marine Conservation Two assessments, each worth 50% of the final grade. Assessment 1: A report on the biodiversity of Ramsey Island in the Pembrokeshire Coast National Park. Explore the cause of the lower biodiversity there than nearby Skomer/Skokholm; how was this challenged/rectified? How have species recovered since? What should be done into the future? Assessment 2: A two-hour closed book exam. Half of this exam (50 marks) will be a mix of short and medium length questions; things like "Define these five terms (two marks each)", or "Describe the process of longshore drift and its impact on sedimentation patterns (15 marks)" or what have you. The second half is a 50 mark essay - pick one of three essay questions offered, and off you go. (Essay questions are a staple feature of exams over here, and multiple choice questions are extremely rare and generally frowned on as being Not Sufficiently Academic.)

Now, in the case of this module, these are the only two assessment points. Both the report brief and the exam paper are registered with the academic office in the summer before the academic year even starts, and both are triple verified - by the lecturer who writes/sets them, by an internal verifier in the department, and an external verifier from another university. This is part of quality control.

If, for some reason, you fail one of these, or cannot submit them by their due date, or what have you, you still have to do them. If you claim for Extenuating Circumstances (e.g. "I was made homeless and my cat blew up, so I couldn't do it in time") then you get an extension on it; as long as you submit by the end of the academic period, you're fine. If you don't, you need to resit it. This normally means over the summer after the main term ends.

But, in the UK system what we can't do is go "Okay never mind, how about you submit a write-up of the volunteering you're currently doing with SeaLife instead and we'll count that?" The reason being, under the UK system that is not a quality-controlled solution. That has not been checked and verified as an equivalent assessment to what the rest of the class has done; so if you do that and get a 2:1, there is no assurance that you are actually of the same academic quality as one of your peers who got a 2:1 for that research report on Ramsey's biodiversity.

Which... don't let it scare you! As I say, there are a LOT of systems that can help you if things start going wrong (always, always, always keep Student Support and your lecturers in the loop). But that is a different system from what I understand you might be used to, so heads up on that.

(I am not arguing that one is better than the other, by the way. Last time I explained a difference in the UK university system I got a very hostile and aggressive American in the notes throwing a right strop over how terrible the UK system clearly is because XYZ, right up until I had to actually say "I am literally just describing how it's different, not claiming superiority," and then they went mysteriously quiet and stopped replying. So to forestall that, I am only describing the differences. There are advantages and disadvantages to each.

The UK system is certainly more inflexible. But it does, incidentally, at least free you from the tyranny I see reported so often by US students of the dreaded Tenured Professor who deliberately as a matter of pride sets impossible exams that everyone fails. Over here, that shit Does Not Fly. So there's that.)

Anyway - hopefully that answers your question! Any others, hit me up. Good luck, and enjoy your studies!

[harmonysanreads]

Pressed Periwinkles

characters: scaramouche, venti, zhongli, raiden shogun (ei), yae miko, yelan, al haitham, kamisato ayato

cw(s) : none. just some very much needed comfort and fluff to all my stressed birdies. there... maybe some implications but don't worry your pretty head over it and enjoy being spoiled and spoiling them <3

──⚝ scaramouche

Whenever something troubles Scaramouche, he seeks you out to press his ear to your chest and listen to you heartbeat. If you were to ever bring it up to him once he's recovered although, he'd never admit to literally have knelt for hours suffocating you in his embrace. Not like it affects him at all, he could stay in the position for days and weeks if he wanted, the only detriment would be you (ugh, the fragility of the mortal body). You cannot see his expression in moments like those but you feel every shift of emotions through the strength in his grip waxing and waning or from how closer and closer he buries his face in your clothes, desperate to not lose the timbre of your heart. Not even the hymns of the winds, streams, birds or fairies would rival to the simple marching of your soul ; the simple fact of your existence. He would be betraying himself if he never admitted to feeling envious of you, how lucky you were to be gifted with such a beautiful heart. His thoughts would wander to days long past, days painted in regret and blood, grip tensing so much it causes you pain but then, as if sensing his distress you run your hand through locks of the deep night, your free hand securing him and he curses himself. Wanting to slap the fool in him for even having that thought — because it is not the heart itself that is beautiful, it is the bearer and, he vows to eternalize its blessed prance.

Scaramouche is not a verbal person in terms of comfort, thus, his care is shown through the protective embrace he engulfs you in ; now, close to where his heart is supposed to be. It's a re-confirmation of your position, it's a reminder of your power over him, it's a beckoning that says—just say the word and I'll bring the world down to its knees. You hear it, loud and lucid and it intimidates you a little. The awareness that you hold such power over the Harbinger, over this being neither human nor divine, capable of any command leaving your lips — the absence of a heartbeat from such proximity intensifies your shudder. Worse, you feel the unadulterated sincerity behind this silent declaration. Doubt bubbles in your soul, were you even deserving of such love? Wouldn't it be just using Scaramouche if you were to confide? A stolen look to his eyes has you halt, taken aback by the significance barely contained in those cryptic orbs and you understand. Not uttering a syllable yet, you merely shuffle closer for ; what response proves itself appropriate to the man who gazes at you like you're the soul centerpiece of his world, rivaled by nothing bar the confines of it?

──⚝ venti

Venti knows you're feeling under-the-weather even before you do, all it takes is for you to release the first sigh after reaching home and he's already cradling and cooing you. You can't even find it in yourself to be bemused, melting in the bard's lulling embrace, the beat of the rocking of his body in symphony to the soothing lyrics leaving his lips. You let yourself sink further in that cocoon, far, far from the worries that were chasing you. For you know that as long as Venti's here, everything will be fine. If you're in the mood to rant, he's just the perfect person for it! No kidding, he matches every disbelief laced around your sentences, the dripping sarcasm and "can you believe this person's audacity?!" What you don't know is that he knows what/who's troubling you way beforehand (he's the wind, silly) but, Venti will still listen and be bewildered, annoyed, mad. His carefree smile hiding the schemes brewing in his head to teach annoyances a lesson. You'd never be notified of this shift of attitude though, much too smothered in his pampering.

“My dear Cecilia, why do you fret? You will get through it all, just like all the times before and then, you'll look back, smile and be proud of yourself. So stop worrying about something you've already won!”

And when he's certain you've drifted off to the land of dreams, he lets the muscles of his face relax, the shine of his emerald orbs fade in the slightest. The zephyrs cease their tunes and his grip tenses, firms and borders on desperation. He clings to you as if you'd be blown away like the dandelion seeds should he loosen his hold, he doesn't dare to think of that outcome. All things will wear out by the flow of time, even the strongest Cecilia will oneday take the wind's hand. He knows and Celestia, does he hate it. Despite the knowledge that only serves to burden him, he still indulges ; in hopes that you wouldn't leave him just yet, not so soon, not so suddenly. These momentary wisps of solace keep him sane : the warmth of your body molding in with his, your steady breaths and small mumbles of incoherence — all reminders that no, you're right here, safe in his arms.

So the winds rest, too.

──⚝ zhongli

Zhongli is his own genre when it comes to comfort. It's unpredictable yet never unwelcomed. There's a silver of sophisticated charm lining his actions, a touch of solemnity as you walk under falling autumn leaves arm in arm. Zhongli is not one to let any gesture of affection go to waste, specially if it were to be spectated upon by prying eyes. He considers every touch, every word and every moment shared with you to be exceptional. This sentiment materializes dutifully, too. You cannot think of a single memory with him proven trivial and neither can he with you. Liyue Harbor looks up to you two's unalloyed affections, too. Elders often seen smiling coyly, reminiscing their youthful day as children stare doe-eyed in curiosity, later re-enacting (or trying to) how tenderly the Consultant took your hand to his lips while playing house. You're the role-model couple of the City of Contracts, often analogized with the tale of the late Rex Lapis and his beloved and, whenever someone would bring the legend up, you two would share a shining gaze holding secrets between you two solely which instantly has the speaker feel perplexed. You two would simply dismiss it with the same smile and urge them to continue their tangent.

You, who always covers up Zhongli's blunders of leaving his wallet. Your disappointed sigh and stare doing nothing as he listens to your lectures, borderline enjoying the fiesty side of you. Arguments don't even occur between you two because of the level of mutual understanding you have with each other. You both value privacy, therefore, only show vulnerability in each other's sole company. Zhongli always cradles you in the firmest, safest embrace when your nightmares get too graphic to bear ; wiping your tears and whispering to you the tales of the days the Seelies pranced around every inch of Teyvat and the Moon Sisters would bless the land with their light. Every time, you drift away to sweet dreams of those days of peace. You love to comb and braid his hair, humming forgotten tunes as you do so and Zhongli never feels more at peace. At times like these, it's as if you're in your own little world of boundless serenity, safe from both the mortal and divine's scrutiny.

──⚝ raiden shogun (ei)

To Ei, you're the reason achieving Eternity is so important, so crucial. You're the reason she pushes through despite her grief, loneliness and despair. It's hardwired in the Shogun's constitution, too ; Eternity and You are beside each other. You're the lone candle lightening her darkened euthymia, one she will not allow to wane. Being the soul fuel of her actions might be a little bit overwhelming sometimes. Since she's always putting you before herself, you have to be the one to anchor her to the present and remind her that she's just as (if not more) important. Ei loves you, but you love her, too. It pains you to see her suppress so much pain, it frustrates you that she's not even giving herself the minimum care and how constantly runs from her trauma instead of learning to grow from it.

Which is why, sometimes it has to be her that's pulled away from her meditation to your arms, it has to be her laying on your lap with a hand loosening her braid in an inclining to let go, even just for an hour or so. Sometimes, she needs to forget about everything else and keep her attention on you as you lecture her non-stop. Often times, it flies over her head due to her stubbornness but since it's you... she tries her best. Eternity could wait, the Heavenly Principles be damned, right now, all that mattered was her and you.

──⚝ yae miko

You find it a little unfair, how the kitsune understands you even better than you do yourself. She effortlessly picks up on the slightest changes of your quirks to reach the conclusion that something is wrong. Once she's certain, she'd call you over to her side and pull you to her lap as a shrine maiden prepares tea. A stack of light novels set beside her along with all your favourite treats and you know you're up for a night of pampering and cooing. Your frustrations disappear quicker than electro seelies as she reads aloud the words to you in that smooth voice of hers, other hand occasionally shifting between running it through your hair or along your body and holding various treats for you to taste. When the night has deepened, the stack of light novels finished with and the lantern light has dimmed, she finally inquires of what (or who) exactly troubles you — if you haven't fallen asleep by then already. You, at rare times, want to refute to all her babying ; you cannot be blamed either, having Yae Miko's undivided attention can get a little overwhelming sometimes but the resistance is extinguished just as soon when you remember why you get this exquisite treatment. She's wasted no breath making it clear, too.

Miko loves both your rebellious spirit and how well you take it all. To her, you're just the perfect partner to get through a dragging existence. There's not much she demands of you either ; you just have to be by her side when she calls you (which is..a lot, frankly) and let her take the lead. It's peak entertainment for Miko as she spies the green gazes from her peripheral, aww, look how envious everyone is of you two! While she finds mild entertainment in jealousy of other people, that cannot be said when the monster decides to probe her, too. Kitsunes are territorial and regardless of how much of a refined one Yae Miko is, she's still not completely immune to it. No one will know of these irritating feelings bubbling in her chest unless she wills it. For the most part, she's chill because, she of all people would know that a random mortal is no threat to her or the trust you two share. But do not be mistaken : should an actual threat occur, she'll make it very clear to who you belong to.

──⚝ yelan

Yelan does not even know where to start when it comes to you and neither does she know where to put an end. Yelan despises sweets, you cannot go a day without that additional dose of serotonin ; she prefers chillies in everything and you cry if there's extra dash of pepper in the curry ; Yelan dances with the danger, you love your inner peace more than anything and yet, somehow, both of you fit together like soulmates. It stirs mixed reactions among people, too. Some think you're undeniably cute together while others raise their eyebrows in appraisal. She could care less, but she knows that you care a lot about other people's opinions so, she tries her best so that you'd remain innocent from their unnecessary judgement. It isn't difficult for her either to pull the strings and everything, benefits of being in the shadow.

There's much people are ignorant to, for example, how ruthless you can get with your words should anyone insult your loved ones, how unfairly good you handle bitter things, how unafraid you're of breaking the rules should the occasion call for it and she could go on. Her favourite memory with you would always be that time a handful of nosy people were jabbing at your relationship with her, even going as far as to throw suggestive comments at you right in front of her. Trivial matters such as this don't bother Yelan on normal occasions but due to her mood being already sour that day she lost her temper, how dare they? She was one breath away from causing a carnage until you stopped her, looked them dead in the eye, pulled her to press a kiss just shy of her lips and told them to pollute the air somewhere else — the memory still makes her swoon. Of course, she didn't waste the opportunity to join in, leaning to your already flushed ear to whisper loud and intended for others to hear, "You missed, darling."

(Those idiots never bothered you two again.)

──⚝ al haitham

Al Haitham who is like your personal bed from how often you fall asleep sitting on his lap. You don't need to worry about falling or the cold because he never loosens his hold of you, pulling his cape over your form like a cocoon when he notices your shivers. The intimacy is wordless yet conveys so much more than words could hope to express. It's such a win-win for him, too. He gets to hold you while reading in peace? To say he loves it would be an understatement. People also tend to bother him less when they notice this act of intimacy— and by people, he means his annoying roommate who but gags everytime he sees you draped over Al Haitham and him holding you like you're the most precious thing in Teyvat.

(Kaveh's just salty because he's single and lonely.)

There's another thing Al Haitham adores, looks forward to even ; lazy mornings with you, plus points if it's raining and none of you can go to work. Even if you insist on going out in that weather, there is no way the Scribe would allow it. Trapping you in his strong arms and being so affectionate you have to check if it really is the Al Haitham or not. The Akademiya won't be obliterated if you two skip— took a break for one day, come on, love. Your resolve would break pretty soon, too. How can it not when he's being so cutely clingy? So you two stay in and ruminate the remnants of your night's dreams in each others arms, the pitter-patters of rain and rumbles of thunder but background noise. For a spilt second, Al Haitham remembers the two keys still in his possession and the door being locked : aha, no doubt his roommate would have a lot to say (scream) about that. He notices your shuffles and a quiet ‘what's wrong?’ which he dismisses through a chaste kiss atop your head and beckoning to return to sleep.

──⚝ kamisato ayato

It's basically hardwired in Ayato's brain to seek you out when things get a little too strenuous. He likes to lay his head on your lap and just... enjoy the feeling of your skillful hands combing through his hair, hum him a song too, won't you? He's all yours to spoil. In this position, probably the only thing that would make him get up is if the Kamisato Estate caught fire. You shower him in all the affection you have to offer without hesitation, your way of saying thank you for everything, thank you for your hard work.

Since Ayato was deprived of the fancies of an ordinary child, he has an affinity for mischief and the twisted entertainment from rule-breaking. Nothing would make him love you more if you were to just randomly sneak in his office and whisk him away for some minutes. Running away from his duties wouldn't lessen them, he's aware. But just the thrill that comes from these little rendezvous washes away his fatigue and lethargy. It's both of your little secret, it's dangerous and frankly just plain indulgence. That would never stop him taking your hand and smiling like a teenager in love every time he hears you sing, let's run away?

[gravehags]

his mother's blood

Pairing: Cardinal Copia x f!Reader (Curator!Reader)

Rating: Teen

Tags: EMERITUS FAMILY DRAMAAAAA, tokophobia, revelations, nihil being a fucking shitass, reader being the voice of reason, sister imperator gets a first name and it's exactly what you'd think it is

Words: 2,727

Summary: You know it's just a joke but you can't fight the dread that settles in your stomach the moment the words leave Terzo's mouth.

a/n: this was a lot!!! title comes from the ethel cain lyric "jesus can always reject his father but he cannot escape his mother's blood" :) you know for extra fun family pain

~~~

You feel as if both time and your heart stops the moment the words playfully exit Terzo’s mouth.

So when are you two going to give me a niece or nephew, huh?

The five of you were having a lovely time, sitting around the patio table in the Papas’ courtyard on the early summer evening. The sun had only just started to dip below the horizon and you were already tipsy off the sweet wine Secondo had supplied you with. As soon as Terzo says it you feel the color drain from your face as Copia kneels beside you and reaches for your hand.

“Terzo, don’t–”

You see Primo and Secondo furrow their brows, clearly aware that this is a sensitive topic not to be broached but Terzo doesn’t get the hint and nudges your arm.

“Come on,” he says with a grin, “you’d look so pretty all round and glowing–”

“Silenzio!” Copia shouts as he straightens. You know it’s the liquor that’s making the tears drop one after the other into your lap while your lip quivers and you can’t bring yourself to look at any of them.

“Che cazzo?” Terzo asks, “I’m just poking fun–sorellina, it was just a stupid joke please don’t–”

“You don’t get to joke about that,” Copia says and out of the corner of your eye you see his balled up fist shake, “I don’t want to hear you mention that again ever, do you hear me? I’m not fucking kidding, Terzo Emeritus.”

A stunned silence settles among the brothers while you hastily wipe your tears with the sleeve of your linen button down. You know there’s no way the evening will be recovered after this if you don’t explain why Terzo’s words filled you with such visible dread so you take a deep breath and exhale shakily.

“Do you guys know why Sister Imperator hired me?”

Copia looks down at you, alarmed, and once again kneels by your side.

“Amore, you don’t have to talk about this, it’s none of their business.”

“I know. But I’ve been meaning to ask them for a while��if they knew. If they knew about any of it.”

“Knew about what, fiore?” Primo asks cautiously, steepling his fingers.

“Um…so about…I don’t know a couple, few months back Sister Imperator had me come to her office where she proceeded to tell me that I was hired because–” you take another deep breath and squeeze your eyes shut and then open, “because I was chosen by your Unholy Father…to carry Copia’s child.”

Once again the stunned silence among the five of you is electric. Secondo’s jaw is dropped, Terzo looks horrified, and Primo radiates silent rage.

“What?”

“Y-yeah. She tried to convince me it would be an ‘honor’ despite the fact that I-I told her I don’t want a baby, ever. Tried to tell me I had to do it, that it was my purpose–”

Terzo stands abruptly and the other brothers follow suit. Copia remains squatted next to you holding your hand.

“Guys what are you do–”

“Quella dannata stronza,” Secondo growls, “she’ll pay for this.”

You look around at everyone in a panic.

“No, no, no you can’t let her know that you know a-and she’s backed off on the topic after Copia and I confronted her–”

“Sorellina, we love you, you know that. To know that that woman tried to force a fucking pregnancy on you–unthinkable. She should be excommunicated for even uttering the words to you. Maledetto inferno, this is the last straw.” Terzo grabs your free hand and places a kiss to the back of it. “You do not need to come, bella mia. You do not need to see this. Neither of you do.”

You gently pull your hand from Copia’s and stand, wiping off your cheeks.

“I think I - we - should be there to keep you from…from I don’t know, doing anything you’ll regret. Copia and I have already gotten our piece said with her after she tried to fire me–”

“She what?!” Secondo halfway roars. Primo is already gone down the cloister corridor and the four of you hustle after him. He leads you to an area of the abbey you’ve passed by but never entered which you assume is Sister Imperator’s wing. Primo approaches a door and doesn’t knock, instead flinging it open with such force you wince at the sound of the doorknob denting the drywall. In the large sitting room, in two high backed dark green chairs are Nihil, in his usual vestments and Sister Imperator, who wears a dark red robe snugly cinched around her. Nihil has a deep scowl etched into his wizened features but Sister only looks mildly irritated as if she’s misplaced her phone.

“Gentlemen, what is the meaning of–”

“Stronza!” Primo thunders, and you recoil in shock from the volume of his voice. Copia holds you tightly next to him by your elbow. “How dare you, how fucking dare you attempt to force a child on this girl.”

She looks at you with such raw contempt it makes your stomach roil with nausea.

“Really?” she asks, addressing you and Copia, “The two of you couldn’t keep this to yourselves?”

“The fact that they didn’t tell us sooner is a blessing to you,” Secondo snarls, stepping in front of you and Copia and breaking her line of sight. “I would have killed you myself if–”

“Silence, boy,” Nihil barks from his chair, “and remember to whom you are speaking.”

“I wasn’t talking to you, old man,” Secondo hisses, his eyes burning, “but since you insist on inserting yourself, how could you fucking agree to this?”

Nihil scoffs.

“Don’t be stupid, this was the will of the Council. Sister was simply enforcing their decision. And she was right to do so, it is an honor. One clearly unworthy of this–”

“Be very careful about the next words that leave your mouth, Nihil,” Copia says softly and for the first time in the year of knowing him you feel a horrible thrill at the idea of what he would do for you. Everyone falls silent.

“The Council knew?” Secondo says, clearly floored by this information, “Psaltarian would never have agreed to this, let alone the Director…something that is such a clear violation of the tenets of our religion?”

“Why?” Terzo interjects quietly, “Why was it so important that Copia of all people have a child?”

“I think you already know the answer to that,” Sister Imperator says, idly studying her fingernails. You feel Copia squeeze your arms as he holds you tighter to him. Secondo and Terzo glance at one another, clearly puzzled. Primo turns to look at you both, apologetic.

“The Antichrist need not have a bloodline,” he says softly and Copia inhales sharply next to you. You see Terzo’s jaw drop and the color drain from Secondo’s face. 

“You knew?” When Copia speaks, his voice makes you jump. “You–you knew?”

The mounting anger in his tone has you panicking, turning to him to console him but he’s staring Primo down with such fury it makes you shy away from him. At once, Secondo is at his side gripping his bicep as Terzo gently extricates you from Copia’s ever tightening grip.

“Copia, I always suspected but–”

“You fucking raised me!” Copia shouts, and the raw betrayal cracking his voice instantly makes tears spring to your eyes. You try to go to Copia’s side to comfort him but Terzo holds you snug against him with a strength you did not expect. “You were more of a father to me than this pezzo di merda–” he gestures sharply to Nihil, whose mouth is pulled in a severe frown but blessedly stays silent, “a-and you just let me grow up thinking I was some kind of freak? With no explanation?”

“Topolino, you–”

“Don’t fucking ‘topolino’ me, Primo.”

“Copia,” Primo says, softly but with great power, “I only ever had suspicions. It was bad enough that I - that any of us - couldn’t officially acknowledge you as our brother, how could I hoist this burden upon you as well? If it were true, I knew that in time you would come to realize it…I just never expected the knowledge to be wielded like a weapon by someone so vile–”

“By his mother,” Sister Imperator says, her voice loud and clear. The brothers turn to look at her, stunned, then look to Nihil.

“Even more unconscionable,” Primo says after a moment, his voice low. “To not only place disgusting expectations on the woman he loves but to expect him to blindly go along with it…where were you when he had doubts as a child? When he cried at night from his bad dreams? When we celebrated every birthday, just the four of us, convinced that Copia’s mother was dead just like the rest of ours? We expected the worst from him–” Primo jerks his head towards Nihil, “--but how dare you try to step in now forty-nine years after abandoning him, pretending to give a shit about him or his purpose. Shame on you, Mary.”

Everyone in the room inhales sharply and you’re shocked at the reveal of her true name. You expect her to look infuriated but when you glance at her all you see on her handsome face is exhaustion. You remember her words in her office about how Copia was taken from her as a baby and you’re filled with sickening remorse.

“That’s not right,” you say softly, and everyone swivels to you, “s-she didn’t have a choice. The Council insisted she give up all ties to Copia after his birth. She’s been a shitty mom, I’m not arguing that and I’m not defending her…but so much of it wasn’t her choice.”

You extricate yourself from Terzo’s grasp and walk the length of the room to stand by Imperator’s side. The brothers look stunned and Copia gives you a tiny, gentle smile.

“Listen, I didn’t tell you guys about this shit so everyone could fight about it or bring up anything else. I told you because this is a family and I wanted to be on the level with all of you. Because I want to be a part of it. I’m so…tired of the fucking tension between us,” you gesture between you and Sister Imperator, “on the topic. I’m done, I’m over it. It’s not happening and she knows that a-and the Council knows that. Right, Sister?”

You look at the woman next to you, your lips in a taut line, and her gaze softens to something that resembles respect.

“Exactly,” she says, matter-of-factly, “it’s water under the bridge, gentlemen.”

“Enough of this bullshit,” Nihil whines, and everyone jumps after having forgotten that he was even in the room. “Doesn’t anyone care what I have to say?”

You swear in the chorus of “no’s” that echo throughout the room you hear Sister’s voice and you bite your cheek to keep from smiling.

“Are we done here?” she says, straightening her robe, “Because my programs are about to come on and–”

“Yeah, we’re done,” Copia says, and you leave her side to come to his. “Goodnight, Sister. Goodnight, Papa.”

She nods at him with a smile while Nihil waves his hand dismissively, turning from his four sons to continue playing Candy Crush on his phone. Primo, Secondo, Terzo, and Copia all file out of the room but as you’re about to cross the threshold you hear your name being called from behind you. When you turn around, Imperator is smiling at you peculiarly from her chair.

“You continue to surprise me, dear. Well done handling the situation,” she says and you swear she gives you a small wink.

“Yeah uh, you’re welcome for not letting Secondo kill you, I guess,” you say with a nod before exiting and shutting the door behind you. Copia is waiting for you, giving you a look just as peculiar as Sister’s.

“What?” you ask softly, taking his hand.

“Nothing. I just love you, you know?”

He draws you in and you rest your forehead on his shoulder, his hand tenderly cupping your skull. The two of you hold one another for a moment and you both jump when you feel another body and arms enveloping you both.

“I am so sorry, topolino,” Primo murmurs as he strokes Copia’s hair, “and you, fiore mio, you should have never have had to hear any of that bullshit from start to finish.” He turns to place a kiss on the top of your head and suddenly you’re aware of another pair of arms wrapping around your little group. When you lift your head, Terzo grins at you before waving Secondo over.

“Come on you grumpy old fuck,” he says and you hear Secondo scoff.

“I’m only a year older than you, idiota,” he growls, but you feel him join the pod all the same. It takes a bit of straining, but you’re able to look up at Copia, who has his eyes shut as if he’s trying to cement the moment into his memory. It fills you with such affection, not just for your beloved, but for all the men surrounding you, and you sigh.

“Love you guys,” you murmur, and Terzo’s hand comes up to pet your hair.

“And we love you, sorellina.”

“Had you said the word, I would have killed her on the spot with my bare hands,” Secondo says, his voice muffled by Copia’s back. “I’ve been looking for an excuse.”

“That’s…actually really sweet in a fucked up way. Thanks for having my back.”

“Can we leave this hallway before we overhear Sister and Nihil fucking because–”

The five of you separate, everyone either making violent retching noises or groaning.

“That’s my mother, stronzo,” Copia finally says, giving Terzo a dirty look.

“And your father too, unfortunately,” Primo grimaces, leading the group back down the hall, “but at least you have the benefit of being able to claim a different father, topolino. We’re stuck with him.”

You wrap your arm around Copia’s waist as you exit the wing and he wraps his around your shoulder.

“I eh, don’t know about all of you,” your love begins, “but I could use a fucking drink after that. Secondo…?”

“On it,” Secondo says, striding down the hall ahead of you in the direction of the kitchen. Eventually the group makes its way back to the round patio table, and a shiver runs through you.

“Shit, it’s cold now that the sun’s gone down,” you announce, “and if I’m going to keep drinking I need something to eat because I do not want to end the night with Copia holding my hair. Let’s go meet Secondo and see if I can bully him into making me a grilled cheese.”

Primo and Terzo both snort.

“‘Bully him’ as if he wouldn’t bend over backwards for you, piccolina,” Terzo says, imitating his brother’s voice when he says the endearment. You swat at his arm.

“Stai zitto, stronzo,” you snap playfully and Primo and Copia both turn to you looking impressed.

“She’s been doing the eh, Duolingo app,” Copia explains, and you smile at the pride in his voice, “Well done, amore mio.”

“Non è niente di speciale,” you say demurely with a wide grin. Terzo cheers loudly as the four of you enter the kitchen.

“Be quiet, you fucking animal,” Secondo snarls from his place at the stove, where he’s currently pressing a spatula into two pieces of bread between which cheese oozes. Terzo turns to you and winks.

“Told you,” he says with a smirk before heading off in the direction of the wine cellar. Primo shakes his head and takes a seat at the small table in the corner and Copia pulls you into his side to place a wet kiss to your temple.

“Love you, dolcezza,” he murmurs. When his hand drifts to the small of your back you’re reminded of the first time you set foot in this kitchen and the way he comforted you after you burned the bruschetta. You look over at Primo, who yawns wide, then over to Secondo, who is singing under his breath as he flips your sandwich, to Terzo, who bounds into the room with way too much energy and carrying an alarming number of wine bottles. You look over at Copia.

“Ti amo di più.”

[hrrtshape]

FAME DR — imperfections in my dr.

⋆  forgetting my own lyrics during a live performance and laughing it off like, “oops, guess i need to start practicing !”

⋆  posting a cute story on instagram and immediately deleting it because i noticed a super tiny typo.

⋆  taking a selfie or video for a press moment in your car, only to realise there’s an old coffee cup and crumpled napkins in the background.

⋆  over-apologising to fans when i run out of time for autographs, even though i’ve been signing them for two hours straight.

⋆  cetting caught with an unfiltered facial expression in a fan’s video, like mid-sneeze or laughing way too hard………lemme die.

⋆  accidentally tripping on stage or at a big event and turning it into a cute, graceful bow.

⋆  constantly losing bobby pins, lipsticks, or sunglasses in my bag and having an existential crisis every time.

⋆  my personal assistant has a running tally of how many iced coffees i leave half-drunk on set.

⋆  retting burned by my friends for showing up late to lunch dates because my glam routine took too long.

⋆  overthinking my met gala outfit because some random person on twitter compared it to a baked potato. harsh. very harsh. 

⋆  laughing too hard during a serious photoshoot and needing five minutes to compose my because i CANNOT, for the love of god, stop giggling.

⋆  doing the peace sign in professional photos when i’m supposed to be "high fashion." and then doing that little facepalm. not funny. i’m dying on the inside. !!! 

⋆  accidentally clapping at the wrong moment during a theatre premiere and trying to recover with an exaggerated smile.

⋆  getting distracted mid-interview because a fan yelled “I LOVE YOU!” and i just HAD to yell it back.

⋆  getting overexcited while talking about a project and spilling spoilers by accident.

⋆  exhaustion from overcommitment because i say yes to everything: performances, interviews, meet-and-greets—but end up running on fumes and barely having time to sleep, let alone breathe.

⋆  running late to a private jet flight because i decided to stop for snacks—priorities, people. priorities. 

⋆  paparazzi catching me arguing with a GPS system because it keeps mispronouncing french street names.

⋆  forgetting my own drink order at a coffee shop because i’ve made it too complicated.

⋆  getting caught accidentally photobombing other celebrities’ pictures at events.

⋆  breaking into giggles during live performances because a fan in the front row is holding up a sign that’s too funny or sweet to ignore.

⋆  getting called out by friends for always forgetting my reusable water bottle and using sparkly plastic ones on set instead.

⋆ oversharing on live streams, like telling fans about my existential crisis over bagels last week.

⋆  homesickness, because, despite the jet-setting life, sometimes i ache for quiet mornings at home or hanging out with friends like i used to. the limelight feels isolating.

⋆  using song lyrics as Instagram captions but immediately cringing because fans call it “deep lore.”

⋆  signing fan merch upside-down because i was too busy chatting with them to notice.

⋆  forgetting the lyrics during a live performance TWICE in one night and making a joke like, “ok, this is officially my villain origin story.”

⋆  fan edits exposing my weird habits in interviews, like how i can never stop fixing my hair mid-sentence.

⋆  forgetting (yes, i always forget) to turn off your mic backstage and fans hearing yelling, “WHERE ARE MY SHOES?!”

⋆  forgetting to thank someone in my acceptance speech and spending the rest of the night dming them to apologise.

⋆  getting thé “bestie, what’s going on??” text from my stylist after wearing the WRONG heels with with outfit in candids.

⋆  accidentally walking into the wrong trailer on set and apologising profusely to some random extra.

⋆  tripping over my cat during a livestream and spending the next five minutes apologising to it. i apologise to every1 a lot. 

⋆  trouble saying ‘no’ i can still sometimes struggle to set boundaries with fans, media, or even my team, leading to overexposure and a sense of being pulled in too many directions.

⋆  accidentally liking a three-year-old tweet while scrolling deep into fan accounts and being mortified when they post, “OH MY GOD SHE KNOWS I EXIST.”

[aroacewxs]

sharing some of my rui headcanons :]

i mentioned this in that rui gender poll from a while back, but i am personally a believer of any/all pronouns rui with gender that cannot be labelled whatsoever. i think he'd generally consider and present himself as male, but doesn't have many strong preferences about it. doesn't actively make the effort to dress "femininely," but he'd probably fuck with long skirts if given the opportunity!

and all of you know how much i base my personality off of this by now, but. aroace rui :) aroace rui who has always understood romance as a concept, a trope. he can pick up on romantic cues, but purposefully chooses to pretend they don't exist. the mere thought of him experiencing romantic attraction fills him with so much disgust he has to distract himself for hours. i'd ramble a bit more, but then we'd be here for too long..

i think he'd have really good sleight of hand! he's always had an interest for things like card/coin tricks, and picked up more after learning from kaito :) he always has a little trick or illusion up his sleeve and occasionally performs them for kids at phoeniland or just on the street!

despite having really good dexterity with his tools and tricks, he is terrible with sewing and needles. tsukasa has tried everything in his power to teach him, but nothing stops him from accidentally pricking himself.

incredibly susceptible to cold temperatures. is usually wearing a couple more layers than necessary

doesn't get sick often, but when he does, the illness hits him like a TRUCK. it takes him at least a week to recover. he's huddled up in blankets like a poor and frail victorian child, and he can barely work up an appetite. the kicker: he doesn't realize he's feeling Bad until somebody points out how horrible he looks. and that's when it settles

always needs something in his hand to fiddle with! super super good at spinning his pens and pencils (sleight of hand), and is often found twiddling with his longer strands of hair. he also has a bunch of miscellaneous screws and trinkets and trash in his pockets that he keeps to fidget with.

rui has intrusive thoughts (projecting).. most of them come from his deep fear of hurting others and anxiety regarding social perception and safety

this is already kind of canon i think but. whenever rui ever makes the effort to actually clean his room (shocking), he almost always gets distracted by something he finds, and soon enough, cleaning is no longer of his concern.

shitty handwriting. he CAN write neatly, but he just chooses not to

i think he'd be really good at game pigeon word hunt. and sudoku. and crosswords. all the word puzzles. and it pisses tsukasa and nene off a lot. emu is his worthy rival

sensitive teeth. can't bite into ice cream...

this is a given, but aside from theatre, i think he'd be super into other performance arts like ballet. he'd be really intrigued by how storytelling can be completely reliant on visuals and motions with no words and lyrics. ballerina rui au is also something i've brewed in my brain a while ago but the logistics are funny

his opinion on mint chocolate ice cream: taste is perfectly fine but he doesn't appreciate the chocolate chunks at all

weird sock collection. he will die if he doesn't have a funky pair of socks on his feet at all times. aside from when he sleeps probably

lots of unfinished word documents.. he's had a few aspirations about writing an actual novel instead of a script, but the ideas are like ping pong balls in his brain that interfere with his other priorities so he never actually gets much writing done.. one day he will though

that's all i can recall for now.. i'll make more soon if i think of more! this is also a humble request for any other rui headcanons you may have that aren't mentioned here.. hehehe

[patrophthia]

hi, can i please request ravenclaw!hijabi!indian!fem! reader giving theo something she doesn't find spicy at all but he almost dies when he eats bc he's an european white boy and the only seasoning he knows is salt pls?? thanks xx

the way you worded this is so funny!!! ily omg and as an asian who cannot handle spice well i feel for this european white boy, but you asked so i shall deliver!!

too spicy for your heart | theo. nott

pairing: theodore nott x fem!reader

yeah the title is an aespa lyric so what 🤨🤨

You’ve been crunching on your snacks for a good fifteen minutes now, your fingers slightly tinged orange. Theodore has been eyeing you and your snacks —not that you aren’t one in his eyes, for an even better twenty minutes.

Based off of the packaging, the smell, and from what seems to be textures of the snack. He concludes that he’s never had it before, and though the redness of the snack scares him a little, he decides to be brave (a trait Slytherins —like him, tends to lack) and ask you about it. “What’s that?”

“Just something my mum sent me,” you answered, tilting the bag in his direction whilst watching him. “Want some?”

His eyes narrows onto the bag, his hand moving from where it was resting and onto his thighs: a safe distance from the potential threat (is it really though?). “Is it spicy?” He asks slowly.

“No?” You answer him slowly, not too slow for him to be suspicious yet not too quick for him not to be either. “I used to eat all the time when I was little so I doubt it’s spicy, just try it.”

You nudge it towards his direction once more and when it seemed as though he wasn’t going to try it on his own accord anytime soon. You took one of your chips and held it out for him. “Come on,” you say; having half a mind to tease him about being such a big baby about it. “Trust me it’s not spicy.”

Theodore eyes drift between you and the snack in your hand and took in a deep breath. He trusts you, he knows you won’t lie to him, especially when it comes to things like these. His lips part, and let you feed him your snack. His lips close and it takes him a second before his bites into it.

It’s okay, flavorful; that’s what he thought of it on his initial bite. It’s definitely flavorful, that’s what he registers when he begins chewing it. It’s so so incredibly flavor— ah fuck, what the fuck. Theodore coughs, choking slightly at the sudden heat.

He’s polite though, so he shuts his mouth as his hand flails aimlessly, silently hoping that you’d get his message and get him something to spit it out on. You do get his message and grabs him a tissue with a concern look. He takes it gratefully —though you can’t really tell just how grateful he was from how often he was coughing.

He spits out the snack, staring at you with wide eyes —as if you were something mythical he could only imagined as a child because how on earth could someone have been digging into the bag as much as you have and have no reaction to the spices at all.

“Are you okay?” You ask after a bit, a hand gliding up and down his back soothingly.

“No,” he croaks out, “my girlfriend’s witch.”

You bite back a smile, trying not to point out you were in one of the four houses within a wizarding school. You fail though: “and you’re a wizard, Theodore. What’s your point here?”

His eyes is still wide as saucers, still recovering as he glared at your bag of snacks —and this time you laugh, you actually laugh at his downfall. “How can you eat that? How can you say that it’s not spicy it’s so—”

“It’s as mild paprika.” You baffle him. Theodore shuffles away from you, sure he’s never heard of —or fully had a taste of paprika in his life (he doesn’t even want to try it), but he’s certain that he shouldn’t trust you on this.

“I don’t care if it’s mild as paprika,” he murmurs, “I can’t believe I’m dating someone who eats that because she wants to.”

You laugh again, and though it normally soften his heart; Theodore is frowning this time around. “What are we supposed to do when we live together? How are we supposed to feed one another?”

Theodore doesn’t pay attention to how his heart skips a beat at your words; not letting the idea of the two of you living together get to him. “You cook your own food,” he huffs, “and I mine.”

“And season it with what?” You have a smile on your face that he hates —it’s too pretty to look at, you’re too gorgeous for your own good and he hates it. “Salt?”

“Yeah,” Theodore mutters, “and pepper if I feel like adding a bit of heat.”

When you giggle at his words this time around, he doesn’t even bother to pretend hating how your glee comes from his suffering. Maybe you’re a bit too spicy for his heart, but he’ll learn to build up his spice tolerance for you.

[theboywithburninghands]

We’ve reached the day of the wedding. This chapter was a delight to create. Keep an eye out for cameos from characters made by my friends @noble-crimson and @cleoarrow. There’s also an embedded song link to better help you better experience one particular moment. I changed the lyrics though. Enjoy, I sure did. @fernstarsblog

T/W: Era appropriate sexism, discussions of abuse and drug addiction

Primum Peccatum Ch. 16: Like Rain on Your Wedding Day

It was a difficult decision, but Pomni and Altonicus ultimately decided to slow down the tapering process in time for the wedding.

Jax had mostly recovered from the worst of his opium reduction, to the point that he mostly only suffered from cold spells and occasional headaches. Of course, it would become severe again once they went from one drop of laudanum to half a drop. But, when this debacle was over, they could focus on fully getting Jax off of opium once and for all. For now, it was about getting the ceremony over and done with.

Pomni, naturally, told Jax about the encounter with Boone. Every detail. It was, after all, important to communicate in a relationship, so she had heard. She did make an effort to emphasize the fact that Boone was the one who ended up hurt, not her, but that was hardly lying. Journalists would call it “editorializing.” She despised Boone and by no means aimed to protect him, but her fiancé was ill and did not need to aggravate his condition by enacting vengeance on his brother. That would jeopardize both his health and also arouse Drexl’s suspicions, had Boone not already turned stool pigeon and betrayed them…

“He attempted to harm you..?” Jax said. His voice was eerily quiet.

“Yes he did,” Pomni said. “He did not succeed in doing so, and his apology appeared genuine enough… But he did.”

Jax took a deep breath. He closed his eyes in a slow blink, then reopened them.

“Help me to my feet,” he said.

“Do you need the lavatory?” Pomni inquired.

“No. I wish to discuss these events with my brother,” Jax said, pulling his bedclothes aside.

“I assume by ‘discuss,’ you mean ‘beat.’ And I can’t allow you to do that.” Pomni said.

“And why not?” Jax asked. His expression was like a hot anvil, unmoving and silent, but radiating palpable energy.

“For once thing, in your present state, you’d be trounced,” Pomni replied. “You have difficulty even standing without my assistance at the moment. I think I could even defeat you as you are now.”

Pomni smiled thinly.

“That was a joke. But the other reason is, you’d be walking right into the lion pit. Boone is at your father’s, and I assume your brother won’t hesitate to cower behind him. What if he reveals the truth of your withdrawals right there? There would be no way to avoid your father’s wrath, and who knows what that dragon is capable of when truly furious?”

Jax’s shoulders slumped a bit. He looked at the floor for a while before glancing up at Pomni.

“You raise fair points. I suppose Boone eludes the consequences yet again,” he sighed. “You are frightfully calm for what you’ve just endured.”

“Calm? Hardly. Though I may be placid on the surface, I assure you, I am not. If I’ve taken away anything from these past few weeks, apart from my love for you, it’s that I cannot change this country’s poisoned ideals through shouting and the gnashing of teeth. Think of it like a boil; squeezing and picking at it in blind anger will only aggravate the pain, as the infection runs deep beneath the skin. If you truly wish to be rid of the agony, it must be treated with surgical calmness, draining every last drop of bacteria-ridden filth from the wound until it can at last heal and be free of pain. That’s why I seem so calm. I am angry, but impotent flailing has gotten me nowhere. All the energy I would have spent on crying and cursing my lot in life has been spent on you and… the day of the wedding.”

Jax smiled weakly. “Preparations have been made, I assume…”

“Made to the best of my ability, darling,” Pomni said. “We can only hope things will play without too much issue.”

“Pomni,” Jax said. “Do you believe Boone will tell my father?”

“I believe he’s capable of doing so. But I warned him that should he, The Gentleman in Red that saved me will pursue him. I do not know if he believed me. But… you can rest assured that I will be the first line of defense should your father arrive.”

Pomni offered a hand, Jax taking it after a moment.

“Never alone, darling,” Pomni said.

—

All remained silent. It reminded Pomni of the eye of a hurricane, falsely still and bright before the thunder and torrential rain resumed. She occasionally waited until three or four in the morning downstairs in Mr. Kinger’s sitting room some nights, clutching anything heavy that could be used as a weapon. A fire poker, a bread knife, an old Dorvician kukri Kinger picked up on his travels, the blade long since tarnished but quite sharp. She eventually settled on a heavy brass candlestick. It was comfortable enough to keep in her lap while reading but heavy enough to knock someone’s lights out.

On one of these sleepless nights before the wedding, Pomni wrote her vows. To her surprise, it was difficult. Quite difficult, really. Writing what she promised to do was quite easy, anyone could do that. But making it sound genuine and not a cold statement of facts, that was an entirely different beast.

She wrote, then erased, wrote a bit more then erased. She leaned back in her chair and chewed the end of the art pencil she borrowed from Kinger. Pomni thought reading so many romance novels would prepare her for romantic writing, and yet, here she sat, at her wit’s end. She looked over at Jax.

He had managed to get to sleep. He had his arms crossed over his stomach, the book Pomni lent him tucked under one hand. She smiled a bit. He looked… peaceful. He deserved the rest. The two of them had been through so much together and it had only been three weeks… Three weeks? That short an amount of time… it had felt like an eternity.

She paused. Hm. That was a good opening line actually. She wrote it down, the well-oiled cogs of her mind beginning to turn. She continued to write, erasing every now and then, until the page was full. She didn’t need to read it more than once to memorize it. So, she supposed she didn’t need it any longer. She picked up the bit of paper, fully intent on ripping it in two…

She looked at Jax. He slept soundly. She smiled a bit once again. She instead folded up the bit of paper and tucked it into her purse. She might have not needed to read it anymore, but it would be a pleasant keepsake.

—

The day of the wedding arrived, and there had been not a single word from The Krolik Estate. Perhaps Boone had made good on his word after all, but there was little time to dwell on that. Pomni was led out of The Rooker Estate by Zooble, driving the family’s carriage. They helped her onto the passenger’s side of the driver’s bench, flicking the reins. Maple and Juniper flicked their heads, snuffling and heading up the road.

“Well, here we are at last. Are you prepared, Ms. Shutnyk?” Zooble asked.

“…I have prepared. But I am quite nervous.” Pomni said. “…Is it true father intends to sign me over to Krolik International as soon as we go through with the ceremony..?”

“I cannot be certain. He has been very quiet ever since the day Mr. Krolik floated the idea. What you saw the day you tried on your dress was the most he’d spoken before or since.” Zooble replied.

“I see… He’s likely still furious with me. I’m very sorry if it’s made your work more difficult, Zooble.” Pomni said.

“On the contrary,” Zooble almost chuckled. “Your parents have been so wrapped up in your wedding that my job has been rather simple. Merely housekeeping. I’m sure I’ll be back to carrying your mother’s superfluous purchases at the market by tomorrow.”

Pomni laughed a bit, but soon she was back to frowning.

“…Zooble. I wanted to say that… I’ll miss you greatly. You’ve been so kind these past three years. I would hire you on as our caretaker if I had the revenue.”

Zooble looked at Pomni. Their eyes smiled.

“I will miss your company as well, Ms. Shutnyk.” Zooble said. “No matter what course today takes, I hope you’ll stop by every now and then, if not for your parents, at the very least for me.”

Pomni nodded. After they arrived at Lakepoint, decorated with white frills and teeming with guests, some Pomni had never seen before and some she recognized distantly, Pomni threw her arms around her caretaker, who more than happily returned her embrace.

—

The ceremony was set outdoors, just by Falconhurst pond. Citronella candles burned on the edges of the property to ward off mosquitos. Two sets of white wicker chairs were arranged on the lawn behind Lakepoint, the grass meticulously trimmed and cleaned of waterfowl leavings. The guests had been instructed to dress simply, the only stipulation being that one’s outfit must include a blue or red flower, red for women, blue for men. On the left side of the aisle sat Pomni’s family. All of her father’s family was deceased or long forgotten in Telychia, so Mirella’s relatives took up these seats. They were Silurians at heart, outgoing, jovial and talkative, everything Pomni was not. She had hardly met any of them, yet she expected she would be well acquainted with them by the time the wedding was over. She held no grudges against them, but sincerely hoped they would ask before they touched.

Zooble had a place in the audience beside Mirella in the front row. They wore their usual tuxedo with two flowers, one red and one blue. Mr. Kinger looked quite dapper in his surprisingly well-preserved wedding tuxedo and top hat, although he did smell a touch like moth powder. He wore a blue rose lapel pin, a gift from the Sultanate of Dorvicia for his work on the biology of desert insects.

In the backmost row sat a shapeman in a red tailcoat, his head nothing but a large set of dentures with a pair of Heterochromic eyes. He held a cane in one hand and an empty wine glass in the other, which he occasionally pantomimed sipping from. The other guests found it wise to simply let him alone, as he arrived at the ceremony with an invitation identical to everyone else’s, speaking to no one and keeping his differently-colored eyes squarely on the altar. He wore no flower.

On the right side sat a rainbow of rabbits. Jax’s family, cousins of his from Drexl’s side of the family, as well as his late mother’s, most having arrived from Ediacara and speaking not a word of Hirnantian. A few other beastfolk derived from different animals sat amongst the many-colored crowd. A family of what appeared to be abnormally large deerfolk consisting of a father, his son and his daughter, a lone corvidae woman seated near the back, and two crocodile men, sitting sharply at attention. Old business partners of Drexl’s back in Ediacara, perhaps.

Drexl himself sat in the front row, sentinel-like in a cobalt blue tuxedo. Zuzanna sat on his left side, ghostly and pretty in a delicate pink dress and a red corsage about her wrist. On his right sat his three sons, all in matching black tuxedos and dyed blue roses on their breast pockets, and Kali, hand in hand with Alton in a red dress. She looked radiant, as always. Boone kept his mouth closed, tapping a foot rapidly on the grass. Osvaldo sat up straight, appearing rather nervous but altogether content. Alton looked as pleasant as he always did. Being a doctor, he must have practiced having a pleasant expression to avoid upsetting any patients.

Gangle sat just beside the stage on a rolling plywood platform, playing “Clair de Lune” on Lakepoint’s grand piano. Vladimir and Drexl wheeled the instrument out to the stage earlier that morning. Though Drexl could have done so on his own, given his mighty stature, Vladimir insisted that he aid him in some way, so was instructed to hold the piano steady on the platform as Drexl pushed it.

Sister Ragatha approached the stage. It was decorated with a white trellis backdrop and a wreath made from ivy vines and a bouquet of red and blue flowers. She wore her usual gray habit, the hood down and her bright red curls hanging free. A rose of matching hue was pinned to her chest. She put her hands on the pulpit, opening The Gray Accord to the appropriate passage, and smiled out to the crowd.

“Good morning, everyone,” she said, the murmur of conversation coming to a halt, Gangle taking her ribbons off the keys and placing them in her lap. “We’re gathered here today to celebrate the union of two wonderful young souls in marriage. Though they only met recently, Ms. Pomni Annabelle Shutnyk and Mr. Jax Bazyli Krolik have become an inseparable duo.

“In fact, you all should know that Mr. Krolik almost caught his death of flu two weeks ago. Ms. Shutnyk has remained vigilantly by his side every single day since, nursing him back to health and keeping him company through the most difficult of the symptoms. That is the kind of pure and dedicated love The Allfather aimed to instill in all beings from our inception.”

Boone appeared to shift a bit in his seat. The Gentleman in Red notably looked away from the stage to focus on Boone, and the beastman was still again. The Gentleman kept his eyes upon Boone a moment longer before looking back to Ragatha.

“I think it prudent to read a passage from The Gray Accord that discusses love. It’s a passage that has certainly inspired my own path towards enlightenment as a Gray Sister, and one that I hope will inspire Mr. and Mrs. Krolik’s union. Ahem…

“‘Love is the single most malleable emotion The Allfather gave to us. It guides us towards The Hereafter like a beacon of light, teaching us to seek the ones who bring us the most happiness and to forgive our enemies. But it can so easily be distorted into jealousy and obsession, or worse, corrupted and turned to mad hatred. That is what a true celebrant of The Allfather should strive for, this pure and soft love, as it will surely guide one to Him.’ Book 2, Verse 9.

“I wholeheartedly believe that the union that has formed so quickly between these two is a sign of this ideal love The Accord speaks of. Though drawn together by financial necessity rather than fate, these two young souls will foster a relationship that will endure through the ages. And I consider it a tremendous honor to deliver them into each other’s arms. Everyone stand, please.”

The crowd rose to their feet, Osvaldo getting up and exiting. Drexl made a move to put a paw on his shoulder, not being fast enough, and watched his second son disappear into Lakepoint with fiery eyes. Zuzanna hurried to his side and whispered in his ear. Drexl listened with a frown and shook his head, but appeared to acquiesce, waving a paw. Zuzanna smiled and followed after Osvaldo.

Ragatha looked over to Gangle, who nodded at the Gray Sister, furling and unfurling her ribbons before putting them to the ivory keys and beginning to play “Gymnopedie No. 1.” Not quite as grand as a church organ, but no one could be asked to move that behemoth.

Jax Krolik emerged from the back entrance of Lakepoint, dressed in an immaculate black tuxedo, custom made extra wide loafers and a bow-tie. On his breast was a dyed blue rose. Although he had dark lines beneath his eyes and his fur wasn’t quite groomed to perfection, he wore his signature wide Cheshire smile and carried himself with an air of pride. Zuzanna walked alongside him, arm in arm. She held her own head up rather high. She was the only woman who could serve as his escort after all, it was a high honor for a housekeeper such as herself.

The audience watched him approach with encouraging smiles. Some of his relatives gasped, having not seen him since he was a toddler. Alton and Kali beamed and waved. Drexl bore a faint smile. Boone made eye contact with his youngest brother and quickly averted it.

Zuzanna stopped at the altar and smiled at Jax.

“Jestem z ciebe dumny,” she said, kissing him softly on the forehead.

“Really now Zuzanna…” Jax said with a wave of his paw. He walked up the altar and nodded to Sister Ragatha, who offered her congratulations.

Gangle added a bit of flourish to her playing as she began The Wedding March, the section even children on the playground could hum along to. Everyone turned again to the back of the aisle and were greeted by the sight of the bride herself.

Pomni stood beside her father, in her iridescent feathered dress and clutching a bouquet of red roses. Her veil was thin as early morning vapor. Vladimir walked with her, arm in arm and with a proud grin on his face. Pomni smiled thinly, keeping her gaze firmly on the grass. All those eyes on her. Best not to look. She only exchanged glances with one guest, the nameless Gentleman in Red, who raised his empty glass in a toast. Pomni could be seen mouthing the word “You..?” before moving along down the aisle.

“She’s so pretty…” said one of Jax’s relatives, bright yellow like a blooming daffodil. Pomni felt a hot blush creep across her face, but felt significantly more emboldened, hearing such sweet words from a complete stranger.

Jax himself watched Pomni reverently. She was normally dressed so modestly, seeing her in such a gorgeous dress was a shock to the senses. She looked like a dove, petite and elegant. He blushed.

“Make me proud, lisichka,” Vladimir said, giving his daughter a hug. As she hugged him back rigidly, she made eye contact with Drexl. His affect betrayed no emotion, so Pomni offered none in return.

She ascended the three steps to the altar, placing the bouquet of roses in the awaiting ceremonial vase. Ragatha gave her a radiant smile. Pomni met her groom’s eyes.

“It’s alright,” Jax whispered. “Look anywhere. I won’t be offended.”

Pomni smiled gratefully and looked at the rose pinned to his chest. Roses didn’t bloom blue naturally, they had to be dyed that color. There has been cross-pollination experiments to create a blue rose, but they only ever came out purple- Oh, blazes, where was her mind? Ragatha had begun to speak, the crowd taking their seats.

“-gathered here today to witness the union of two souls in marriage. May The Allfather smile down from The Hereafter on this blessed day. Now, before we begin the vows, in lieu of having a speaker, our couple has requested a small performance from Jax’s brother and best man, Mr. Osvaldo Krolik. May I direct your attention to the grand piano?”

The crowd all turned to the piano. Gangle had risen to her feet as a gray rabbit approached the platform. There was a faint creak of wood from The Krolik side of the audience, like that of someone gripping the seat of their chair hard enough to break it into sawdust. Gangle went to take her seat on the Shutnyk side of the audience as Osvaldo sat at the piano, flexing his paws.

“Good morning. This is an original composition I wrote specifically for my brother and sister-in-law. I hope you’ll enjoy it,” he announced to the crowd, his eyes on no one in particular.

“Here we go…” whispered Jax with a nervous smile. He took hold of Pomni’s hand, and she squeezed his paw in response.

Osvaldo cleared his throat and closed his eyes for a few moments, silently counting himself off and beginning a soft piano melody. He sang a few wordless notes before he began the first verse.

“Would you like to say something before you leave?

Perhaps you’d care to state exactly how you feel?

We said ‘goodbye’ before we said ‘hello…’”

His voice was sweet and elegant, precise as the brushstrokes of a painter. He picked up speed, gaining a small smile.

“I hardly even like you, I shouldn’t care at all…

We met just six hours ago, the music was too loud…

Wed to you? I’d gain a day and lose a bloody year…

But I… Would like to know…”

He tossed his head back and began to sing louder.

“How do you feel, how do you feel?

How do you feel, how do you feel?”

He sang a few more wordless notes, one foot tapping along to the time signature in his head. Most of Pomni’s relatives had leaned in with interest by that point. Music was of great importance to Silurian culture, and Osvaldo had them enchanted. The Gentleman in Red appeared to sing along silently, even though Osvaldo never performed the song for anyone before today.

He continued.

“Not a single word was said, the night still hid our fears…

Occasionally you’d show a smile, my heart skipped a beat…

We met each other far too soon, yet the world seems fresh and bright…

“I see you lying in the sun, I wish that I was there…

Tomorrow brings another sky, another day with you…

Have you time before you leave to greet this lonely man..?

And I… Would like to know…”

He began the second chorus in full swing, everyone in the audience listening intently by this point. The family of deer exchanged looks of wonder, Gangle could be seen nodding her mask in time with the song’s rhythm, and some of Pomni’s relatives were speaking excitedly in Silurian.

The rhythm of the song slowed, Osvaldo’s eyes closed, his performance winding down in time with the music.

“Goodbye to you…

Now I bid adieu…

I’ll… say I love her one dayyy…”

Osvaldo gave a short aria, his piano-playing picking up speed before coming to an abrupt stop. He took a few deep breaths and placed his hands in his lap.

A few moments of silence and the crowd erupted into applause. Pomni’s relatives stood,

clapping and whistling, calling out “Bellissimo!” and “Chiedere un bis!” The Krolik side of the audience had gotten to their feet as well,

Altonicus cheering for his younger brother with Kali, Boone clapping discreetly along with them. Even some of Drexl’s business partners had risen to applaud, the corvidae woman clapping her feathered hands and repeating “Wonderful!” and the family of large deerfolk cheering as well. Osvaldo made eye contact with the son from that family, nigh on eight feet tall with warm, honey-brown eyes and fur the color of chestnut. He smiled at Osvaldo, who flushed and smiled back.

Drexl stood, but moved not an inch. His eyes were ablaze.

Osvaldo bowed shortly to the audience before walking up onto the stage and standing beside Jax.

“Excellent job, Oz,” Jax whispered.

“I was enraptured,” Pomni added.

Osvaldo sniffled and wiped his eyes. “Thank you both…” he whispered back.

“What a lovely performance from our best man!” Ragatha said after the crowd sat down. Drexl was the last to be seated. “Very well, if everyone is ready, we shall begin with the reading of the vows! Mr. Krolik, let’s begin with you, shall we?”

“We shall,” Jax said, pulling a bit of paper out of his coat pocket. “I actually only had a few days to write these due to being ill, but I’m rather proud of them.”

Jax cleared his throat.

“‘Pomni Annabelle Shutnyk. Before I met you, I had no idea what to expect. The daughter of my father’s business associate could have been anyone. I must admit, I was not expecting a 110 pound powder keg.”

A few people in the audience chuckled, Zooble included. Pomni smirked.

“I admit, I was nervous, yet intrigued. You were uninterested in the banal pleasantries of polite society. You did not even entertain the idea of conforming to the expectations of anyone but yourself. In short, you went where you wanted to go and refused to be led anywhere. And that is truly commendable.

“However, it was not until I fell into dire straits that I saw the warm and compassionate soul that you are. When I fell violently ill, not only did you stay at my bedside through all hours of the day, you sacrificed sleep and stayed awake with me so I would not have to face insomnia alone. You read to me, the entirety of Goethe’s The Ties that Bind-”

He briefly turned to the audience. “Excellent novel, might I add.” There was scattered laughter.

“-until your voice became a mere rasp. And not only have you been a gift to me, but you’ve also helped my own family as well. You’ve befriended my sister-in-law and eldest brother…”

Jax gestured to Kali and Altonicus, the former biting back tears and the latter smiling proudly with a nod.

“…encouraged my best-man and second eldest brother to pursue his dream of becoming a vocalist despite societal pressures…”

He gestured to Osvaldo beside him, who shrank somewhat but retained a diffident smile.

“…and have even helped my third eldest brother see reason, and that is, in itself, a monumental task.”

Jax gestured to Boone, giving him a severe look. Boone looked off to the side.

“I am thrilled to have found, by sheer chance, a woman with a wit as sharp as a bayonet, a will as stalwart as a mountain, and yet with a personality as refreshing as a desert oasis. I cannot wait to walk this world at your side. You have captured my heart, Pomni. I love you.”

He smiled gently and nodded, tucking his speech into breast pocket. Pomni’s mouth quivered. Allfather above, she was supposed to follow that?! She was flattered, certainly, goodness sakes she felt as though she might weep… But how could she ever match such gentle vows?

Well, she only had one set memorized, and was never much good at improvisation. There was only one option.

“Jax…” she began, then paused for a moment. Her mouth had courteously turned dust dry. She swallowed and continued.

“Jax. These three weeks before our marriage have been perhaps the most transformative of my life. Having been arranged to be your bride, I had myself quite convinced I would dislike you. I’m sure you remember my attitude towards you upon our first meeting in my father’s library. I believe I called you a mooncalf?”

Jax laughed, although he was the only one to do so. Pomni continued, swallowing again.

“But, since then, I’ve come to realize that there are few people I’ve met that are as intriguing as you. You are intelligent, forward-thinking and quite frankly… fun. For 25 years, I’ve felt alone in my interests, and thanks to you I’ve finally found someone who not only shares my passions, but who I can also match wits with. I have never felt so liberated as I do when I am with you… Despite the tribulations of the past few weeks, illness related or otherwise, I would not trade the time that we’ve spent together for all the crowns in the world. I, too, am so greatly looking forward to the life I shall lead with you…”

Pomni looked into his lemon-colored eyes with her own aquamarine pair. She felt perfectly comfortable, not a single itching sensation on her body.

“Thank you for helping me realize that I can devote myself to someone while still being my own person. Thank you for loving me as I am and not seeking to change a single aspect of my character. Thank you for… Thank you for making me feel wanted… I love you so much…”

Twin tears rolled down her cheeks. She sniffled and wiped them away, averting eye contact. Jax tried his own eyes with a knuckle.

“Join hands, please,” Ragatha said brightly, opening a small box in front of her to reveal two wedding rings, one with a royal blue sapphire and the other with a crimson ruby. Pomni and Jax held hands. Pomni hesitated only for a moment before gripping his paws. Love him she did, fears weren’t conquered over night.

“Do you, Pomni Annabelle Shutnyk, take Jax to be your lawfully wedded husband, in sickness and in health, through good times and troubled, ‘til death do you part?” Ragatha asked.

“I do,” Pomni said. Jax squeezed her hands. Pomni took the red gemstone ring from the box and slid it onto Jax’s left paw ring finger.

“And do you, Jax Bazyli Krolik, take Pomni to be your lawfully wedded wife, in sickness and in health, through good times and troubled, ‘til death do you part?” Ragatha asked.

“I do,” Jax replied. He took the blue gemstone ring and slid it onto Pomni’s right hand ring finger.

“Then, by the power vested in me by The Gray Church and the country of New Hirnantia, I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride.” Ragatha said, taking a step back.

Jax lifted Pomni’s veil, revealing her rosy face and nervous smile. He leaned down. She tilted her chin up. Their lips met for the first time.

The audience erupted into applause. Osvaldo applauded right along with them, but, after several seconds, hastily slid down off of the altar and hurried away.

“Osvaldo!” Drexl barked. He received no response.

Pomni Krolik remained on the altar with her lips pressed against her husband’s. It was the longest she had ever touched anyone. And for the first time in her life, she was unwilling to let go.

[missmyloko]

Hi Justine 👋😊

I had to admit that I wanted to ask you this question long time ago, but I was too afraid of being disrespectful.

On 3rd March, Two maiko had debuted in Yuzawa.

One thing that caught my attention was that the nigongami looked disheveled, and the quality of their shironuri seem lower than the make up I've seen in other maiko, geisha, geiko, geigi, hangyoku...

I decided to ask you today because I've seen the person from the Instagram account @geishamaiko has talked about them.

I don't know if by the time you are reading this the story is still available and I don't think that it is correct to add the image here, so I will write you what the post in his story says:

"I agree that many areas of Japan can recover their Kagai. but it cannot be done by copying Kyoto."

"The girls can't make a debut with a hairstyle like that. It is very ridiculous."

"They can't dance smiling and looking around. To maintain tradition there must be a basis. It becomes a tourist spectacle imitating Kyoto"

Also, he added this link, where you can see them dancing.

https://local-tv.marketplace.rakuten.co.jp/abs/mov/240308_02/?fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAabWEZGHeZhGRZPbah5Nqg7q4owq-BMvWLcVQoXbHJvIl3fQS0H3X9XeDjA_aem_AWU7tnBrKcxInP7znxencSeIqo0BlopsYbGjj8HyHWymGke6mHO84xpt-ezevos_Ye31NzmjeOOLTAUWQmHNeIYR

With that being said, what is your opinion about their situation?

Yuzawa's geimaiko population is relatively new as they've undergone a revival project to keep the traditions going there with new blood. This isn't uncommon for small pockets of geisha in rural areas across the country and most are even being helped by their local governments to do so. Yuzawa's traditions are based on Kyoto's, with their girls even wearing some kimono and obi previously owned by Kyoto okiya. They learn the Okamoto style of dance, but will also dance the Gion Kouta as seen in the video. This was the first time they've ever done a misedashi ceremony like the ones done in Kyoto, so they were trying it out as a way to show off their current members and to drum up some support for the new girls. Obviously the new maiko didn't look perfect as they didn't have professional makeup artists doing their oshiroi (the girls themselves likely did it) and their hair was likely done by their onesan (I don't think Yuzawa has a nihongami specialist, but I could be wrong), but overall it was a decent presentation, and as long as the girls and the guests had a good time then that's what mattered. To say that they can't dance while smiling or looking around just shows how uneducated the commenter is as traditional dance isn't as stiff or unfeeling as they seem to think. Yes, the Inoue style, who follows the Noh tradition, doesn't show much emotion at all, but other styles that follow the Kabuki tradition, such as Okamoto or Umemoto, can and do. This is why the finale of the Kyo Odori, which is choreographed in the Umemoto style, promotes a very expressive style of dance where even the singing of the lyrics to the song is encouraged! So, sometimes you just need to stop and analyze what's going on instead of just criticizing the outward appearance that you have no prior information about ^^

[kiirotoao]

I keep getting asked what I’d like to see / theories for s5, so I’m listing them here!

(In blurb form because I have too many lol)

MORE. WILLEL. OR. DEATH. I’d particularly love some parallels from s1, maybe Will talking to El in the void or something? Because

Will has powers!! I’d love to see him have some kind of time/energy/electrical/celestial powers to mirror his Will the Wise persona

JOPPER WEDDING OR DEATH ALSO THIS IS A NON NEGOTIABLE DUFFERS

Robin being a BAMF and impressing Vickie or vice versa (I’m currently more sold on Robin being the BAMF because if switched that’s just Ronance. Which also. Ronance endgame please and thank you???)

Stonathan endgame or at least bonding. Can you tell that the CGI snippets made me insane

Flickergate duh

Pocketgate!!! And specifically Mike confessing to Will, Will thinking it’s too good to be true, then Mike pulling out the letter to prove it in dear desperation

Based on the “6 little nuggets” anecdote, I think Steve might unfortunately be toast because he has his dream with The Party, y’know

There will be a dragon of some sort based on Will’s painting? Maybe like Vecna, the Mind Flayer, and the demogorgons will combine into one big ugly creature to defeat? Dramatic but I have no idea

The spores might also be more lethal and infect people? Or maybe cause widespread hallucinations? They were everywhere in that finale and that cannot be healthy. Yes I know that Hopper and Dustin didn’t suffer any side effects of them in s2 but Vecna’s still alive so I think maybe they could become a new force

I believe in the Kas theory! But not for Eddie. I’m between Kas being Will, El, or Mike

I hope that Nancy doesn’t end up with anyone or it’s implied that she, Steve, and Jonathan, are happy being single for that time until they completely understand themselves and what they want

Vecna appearing in nightmares!! I’d love to see the subconscious come into play and it would serve to flesh out our main cast even more than they already are (especially Mike Wheeler and his internal gay crisis)

Jonathan, Mike, Lucas, Erica, and Murray in the Upside Down please!! They have never been that’s why, and no, I don’t count the tunnels in s2 because they didn’t flip upside down to enter those so I don’t think it was quite the Upside Down

Full and integrated Hopper-Byers family scene at the end of the season. Like them playing Monopoly or something or just existing together in the same house. Being happy. Please dear God.

Will coming out to his mom or Jonathan or Dustin or Lucas or anyone, really

EVERYBODY WANT TO RULE THE WORLD BY TEARS FOR FEARS preferably in the ending scene but anywhere would suffice and I’m not saying this just because I love this song but the lyrics literally fit so well I don’t think I’ll recover if his song isn’t in s5

A gate may exist at the library - it’s in the center of the earthquake and it’s where Will was taken in s1. I think Henry may want to destroy it because it contains so much information

I’d love a s2 parallel where Lucas talks to his dad again. Maybe about Max, maybe about all the stress, something. More sweet parent moments

Based off of the Byler fights in episodes 3 (s3) and 2 (s4), I think maybe they’ll fight again in s5e1?

And then resolve by s5e5

Wherein Heros (Bowie’s og version) will play when Mike and Will kiss

I just really really want Dustin being the lord of the demodogs. Like d’Art returns and recognizes Dustin and they help to fight against Vecna like fighting fire with fire it’d be so epic you see the vision right?

I’d love to see a return of Kali!! Either as a friend or villain recruited/controlled by Vecna it’d be pretty cool either way

Max lives. Period