#can't tell if i should just make this a weekly scheduled post or if i should just toss em out whenever i hit a limit. up to god

[tkachukisms]

happy saturday caturday everyone. sadly this doesn't work because there isn't a cats game today but if you look into your soul there can be! | yeah these are all going to be max images now. I'm also unsure how we got here, yeah

[ownworldresident]

Side by Side Chapter 9: Renewal

Me: 'promises to post weekly' ... 'vanishes for three weeks' ... 'still loves you all I promise' now back to schedule...

Book: The Royal Romance.

Premise: With new additions to their family, King Liam and Rayne must re-evaluate their relationship dynamic.

Themes: Found family, hurt/comfort, angst, fluff, family.

Word Count: 3.2k per chapter, 18 chapters. About 60k.

Note: This story started just after TRR3 ended, and isn't related to TRH. See also Side by Side Masterlist & Master Masterlist Link

Rayne

A private balcony waited for Rayne and Liam when they arrived at the restaurant. They ordered the waiter's recommendation and their drinks were swiftly followed by a dish of local fish; Rayne made a mental note to send compliments to the chef.

Everyone was friendly, and reminded Rayne with a small pang of resignation that the only people who weren't were at the palace.

"What are you thinking?' asked Liam as she sighed.

"How refreshing it is to be here," she answered, smiling. Liam's own smile crinkled his eyes, and he seemed happy with her answer.

Their conversation was light -deliberately, Rayne thought- and as they ate she looked over the bay, pristine dark waters and lights along the marina… the simple beauty reminded her of a less complicated time, before she made that decision. Before she plunged them into this mess.

When next she looked at Liam he was watching her, a nervous half-smile on his face. They had reached a lull in their conversation, new drinks had arrived, and her meal sat comfortably in her stomach. She felt tired after the meal, and made another note to restock her vitamins. The routine was a comfort but also another boundary, a reminder. She was nearing 30 now; Liam had crossed that threshold while she was pregnant, but it didn't seem to have affected him as much as it did her. In his heart he had always known his path, with some minor deviations. Her feelings were a little more complicated.

"So, what did you need to tell me that required dinner at a restaurant and a new dress?" she smiled as she said it, but the expression faded when Liam didn’t reflect it. She reached across the table and laid a hand on his. "Liam, why are you so nervous?"

"I suppose…" Liam blinked back to the present and met her eyes. "It's significant news. I want you to know that nothing about us has to change, okay?"

Rayne swallowed. "You're scaring me. What could you have to say that would change things between us?"

Liam took a deep breath, and a smile settled on his face.

"I divorced Madeline."

For a moment, the only thing in the world were those words. Rayne stared somewhere over Liam's shoulder, transported back to the reverse of them. 'You married Madeline' had been the barrier for them for so long….

She blinked, but the next memory that surfaced was finding Liam unconscious in his office.

"Of course you did…" she said quietly, her mouth suddenly dry.

"There wasn't any other choice this time," Liam continued. "I think we both knew that."

He squeezed her hand, and brought her focus back to him.

"This will change a lot of things, but I don't want you to feel like our relationship has to be one of them. I'm not going to ask to commit to something you don't want."

He curled his hand around hers and laced their fingers together. He was warm, and steady, but there was a strain in his voice. Rayne's eyes fell on their intertwined hands, her other hand trembling in her lap.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, feeling as if a veil was tearing from the world she had constructed. Liam should have freed himself from that woman a long time ago, but he had stayed because of Rayne… she squeezed her eyes shut. "I should never have convinced you to stay married to her. If I hadn't… if I'd just…" she looked up to him again, eyes hot. "You deserved so much better."

To her surprise, he chuckled.

"It's true you are stubborn," he said, "but I'm sorry to say you aren't so much a force that I can't make my own decisions. I chose to remain in that arrangement, and to marry Madeline. Do you remember when we were on the engagement tour, and I asked if you would stay with me, even if I married her?"

Not trusting herself with a verbal response, Rayne nodded.

"Well that was selfish of me. I shouldn't have put you in that position. The fact that you said yes, emphatically at that…"

"Of course I stayed," Rayne breathed, surprised. "You were frightened when you asked me that, but that isn't the reason I stayed. I made my decision long before you were married. You know that, don't you?"

After a moment, Liam sighed, and nodded.

“That won’t stop me from feeling some guilt at the position I put you in. And so many things since then... but I wanted to come out tonight because I think you deserve a break, and Clair’s arrival helped you free up some time.” He reached across to take Rayne’s other hand, meeting her eyes a moment before continuing. “Nothing in life gives me greater pleasure than the time I spend with you and our children. My situation doesn’t change how I feel about you, and we don’t have to look tidy from the outside to be happy.” He smiled, and Rayne cursed her decision to wear make-up; in the face of Liam’s generosity, she felt tears welling again and pulled one hand back to wipe at her eyes.

The difference in Liam occurred to her then. He was usually calm and always affectionate, but this version of him was lighter, freer, without the weight of his relationship with Madeline. This version cast a dark shadow over the man she thought had been happy for the last year. Had he been happy? Or had he been struggling more under that burden than he had admitted? Had she underestimated the toll that such a division cost him?

“Rayne, are you okay?”

She had been the one to stay, to encourage him to maintain the arrangement, to pretend he was okay when he very, very clearly hadn’t been.

“I’m happy for you. I hope that… I hope…" Rayne stopped as a lump rose in her throat. She stood. Liam frowned, uncertain, watching her closely..

“I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“No, it’s just that…” she looked away from him at their surroundings. The table was beautifully set, the meal had been amazing, the view was spectacular, the night was calm, and it was just for the two of them.

“I don’t deserve this,” Rayne gestured to their surroundings, “after everything I’ve done to you, I don’t deserve any of this.” She wiped a few more tears from her eyes, trying to contain her emotion. She didn’t hear or see him stand, but when his arms came around her she fell into them. All pretence evaporated, and she was the Rayne who had cried when she had been taken from the Coronation ball; the Rayne who had cried every night at the Beaumont estate, and the first week of the engagement tour.

She fell back to a time before her skin was thick. Everything came forth, and she grasped handfuls of his shirt to hold herself up.

Liam’s arms tightened around her, and Rayne knew then that she was not okay, that she had not been okay for a long time. Too much had been ignored, and not only had she not allowed herself to really feel, but she had inflicted that on Liam.

“It’s alright,” Liam said gently. “It’s alright, I’m here.” His voice strained, and Rayne’s sobs grew louder as she shook her head and tried to answer.

“I’m - so - sorry - Liam,” she cried into his chest, and then she felt his arms shaking, his whole body shaking, and wrapped her arms around him in kind.

“It’s… it’s okay. You’re… we…” she felt him take a shaky breath. “I love you so much.”

Rayne tried to answer, but her body was overcome as she cried, and he cried, and she didn’t know how long they stood there before they ran out of tears. And then they held each other as if they hadn’t in months, and maybe they hadn’t, not like this. Eventually, she pulled back, and looked up at him. His eyes were red, and his cheeks glistened with tears. Rayne knew she must look the same sans his smile. Her makeup was smeared on his damp shirt, and the corner of her mouth curved up just a little at that.

“Sorry,” she said, biting her lip. Liam followed her gaze to his shirt, then huffed a small laugh, and pulled her close again.

“I meant what I said. I am never as happy elsewhere as I am with you and the twins, and nothing about what we have has to change.”

She nodded against him, listening to the steady pace of his heart.

“I dream about it sometimes,” she started, swallowing the lump in her throat and looking up again, “about that day at Ramsford, when I said I didn’t want to be queen.” And his expression when he had realised what she was saying.

Liam smiled now. “I know.”

“You know? How?” Even as she said it the answer occurred to her. “Do I talk in my sleep?”

“Yes.” Liam pressed his lips to her forehead and she closed her eyes at the touch. “Can I ask you something?’ He searched her eyes, and she did the same, a flutter of nerves in her chest as she tried to discern the question.

“Yes.”

“Do you regret that decision?”

There was no room in her for another emotional response.

“Yes.” Rayne wasn’t sure what his reaction would be, but to his credit he simply nodded, as if it had been inconsequential and not the biggest turning point in their relationship, and waited for her to continue. “I regret it for the pain it has caused you, and for encouraging you to stay with Madeline. I was angry, and upset, and scared, and I’m sorry. It was wrong of me.” She looked away from him, unable to meet his eyes. He had paid dearly for her decision. Liam lifted her chin to face him again.

“I didn’t mean to imply that your decision was a mistake. I only wished to know where your pain was, so I could help you.” He moved his other hand to caress her cheek, and she leant into his touch. “It’s all I’ve ever wanted, my love. To be there for you, as you have been there for me, so many times.”

The understanding of where they stood settled as they looked at each other. The night was quiet, and the only sounds were distant chatter of the diners downstairs, the gentle waves against the marina, and their own even breathing.

“I love you.” Rayne smiled and looped her arms around his neck.

“And I you.” Liam moved one hand lower on her waist, the other up to her neck, and she closed her eyes and met his lips halfway, and the world faded around them. It wasn’t deep, it was gentle and slow, and when they parted she was breathless. Liam cupped her face and ran a thumb across her cheek, then kissed her again, briefly, and leant his forehead against hers. They stayed like that, enthralled in the intensity of the moment, until Rayne’s body got the best of her, and she shivered.

Concern flitted across Liam’s face. "You're cold."

"A little."

"Let's go home."

They kept their fingers intertwined on the seat between them in the car ride home. They didn’t talk much, not much needed to be said, and Rayne spent the time reflecting on what had passed between them on that balcony.

Entering directly to the royal wing, they walked together through silent, familiar halls.

“I am very sure your friend has taken over our bed,” Liam said calmly when they reached that hallway . Rayne chuckled.

“I have no doubt she has.” She leaned against him as they walked. “Wherever shall we sleep?”

“There is always our old bed,” he replied as they reached the door to the royal suite, his own rarely used rooms. Rayne squeezed his arm.

“I’m sure Clair won’t mind caring for Leo and Evie for the night.” She winced at her own words, glancing back toward her door.

"Did you want to go and check on the twins?" Liam asked, noticing her apprehension.

"No," she answered after a moment's consideration. "I trust her." She would have to apologise for not warning Clair of this possibility. It was likely, if Rayne knew her at all, that she had assumed they would stay in Liam’s suite.

“I’m glad you feel comfortable allowing someone else to care for them,” Liam said as he reached for his door key. Rayne, however, was already holding her own.

“I didn’t realise you still carried it with you.”

“I always do.” Rayne returned his smile. It might not be regularly used, but the suite was something of a comfort for her and the twins, in a wing that wasn't entirely comfortable for her. And it smelled like Liam. "So am I," she added, to answer his earlier remark.

Once inside she locked the door and tucked the key in her dress, turning to see a grin on Liam's face that she hadn't seen in some time. He pulled her into a warm embrace, and she leant up to kiss him.

"We needed this," he murmured against her lips, then pulled back to add, "but I don't think either of us would have admitted it."

"No," Rayne said softly, leaning her head against his shoulder as he held her again. "We wouldn't have. "

Earlier in their relationship, Rayne supposed their clothes would be half on the floor by the time they reached the bedchamber. As it was, she was tired, and so was Liam. She had a feeling he was as lost in thought as she. They parted wordlessly inside the door and entered their individual walk-in wardrobes to change.

When she removed her make-up, which was a mortifying mess, and removed her dress, she smiled at the lacy underwear Clair had forced her to wear.

"Not tonight," she said to the mirror, running a hand over the scar on her abdomen, not quite as tender as it had been but still sensitive. Blinking back to focus, she switched the underwear for more comfortable pyjamas before returning to find Liam had done the same.

"What would our friends think of us?" Rayne smirked.

"Does it matter?" Liam raised an eyebrow, then closed the distance between them and swept her off the ground in a sudden burst of energy. Rayne laughed as he spun her and set her down, ending the spin with a deeper kiss and pulling her tight against him.

“I guess not,” Rayne said, smiling. “You aren’t as tired as I thought.”

“Oh I definitely am as tired as you think.” Liam brushed his nose against hers and kissed her again. “But I haven’t done that in a while and needed to make sure I still could.”

Rayne beamed at him, then held him close, closing her eyes as the small burst faded and her tiredness set in again. “Bed, please.”

“As you wish.” Liam picked her up again, more gently this time. He set her down on what had always been her side of the bed, then came around to climb under the covers as she did. Rayne curled up against him, instantly warm.

“I love you,” he whispered as he rubbed her back. Rayne smiled, and slept better than she had in a long time.

Liam

Late the next morning, Liam left Rayne sleeping to check on Evie and Leo. Clair had had them for almost twelve hours now and he rarely went that long without seeing them.

Entering Rayne’s suite, he took a moment to adjust to the dark, and froze when he saw something move on the lounge. Frowning, he flipped the light switch, and recognised the messy head of blond hair.

“What the hell are you doing here?” he demanded, not loud enough to wake the twins if by chance they were sleeping. His brother turned over with sleepy eyes, squinting at the light. He smiled as he sat and pulled off the blanket.

“Waiting for you of--” he yawned, rubbing his eyes “--of course.”

Liam sighed, shaking his head. “A likely story. Rayne’s friend? Seriously Leo? This is the reason you weren’t told when she would be here.”

“The fault is on Rayne, I’m afraid,” he rolled his shoulders back and shrugged. “Her friend is cute.”

“You better not have slept in Rayne’s bed,” he said in a warning tone. Leo chuckled.

“I would never do that, little brother. Like I said, I just wanted to see how things went with Rayne.” He frowned. “Why do you call it her bed anyway? You sleep there as well.”

Before Liam could think of an answer, Clair appeared in the doorway.

“Are you still here?” she asked Leo. Evie was in her arms, looking around the room curiously. Clair smiled at Liam before raising an amused brow toward his brother.

“Why do I have to explain myself so much? I’m a devoted older brother and I wanted to see how things went last night. Judging by that stupid grin on his face, I’d say pretty well.”

“Hmm, I don’t know.” Clair chuckled. “Jury’s out.” She carefully handed Evie to Liam when he came to take her.

“Thank you for taking care of these two,” he said, pressing a light kiss to Evie’s head and gently rubbing her back. He turned back to Leo. “I guess when Rayne wakes up you can get a second ruling.” he smiled. “And where’s your stupid grin, Leo?”

“He foolishly thought he might find it here.” Clair smirked and winked at Leo, who sighed and shook his head.

“On behalf of Rayne, myself and our bed,” said Liam, “I am very glad he didn’t.”

Leo shrugged. “As I said, only concerned about my brother.” He clapped a hand on Liam’s shoulder as he walked past, speaking quietly. “Later, okay?”

“Later.” Liam nodded.

--- ---

Side by Side Tag List: Current tag list: @tessa-liam @twinkleallnight @umccall71 @kingliam2019 @angelasscribbles @mainstreetreader @malblk21 @queen-arabella-of-cordonia @tinkie1973 @lovingchoices14 @indiacater

Permatag List: @leelee10898  @umccall71  @indiacater  @speedyoperarascalparty  @brightpinkpeppercorn  @riseandshinelittleblossom @bella-ca @custaroonie  @thequeenofcronuts  @lodberg  @kuladekiwi  @mfackenthal  @carabeth  @romanticatheart-posts  @blackcoffee85  @whenyourheartskipsabeat @fromthedeskofpaisleybleakmore

(If you’d like to be added or removed from this list please let me know)

[elvisabutler]

so hi y'all, so full disclosure this month has not even remotely gone the way i planned. as i am sure y'all can tell with the fact that i have barely posted anything, let alone fic, and i have, in general, been not so much around. it wasn't my intention to do that, and honestly, i had planned on giving y'all a feast of fics. so i figured y'all deserved a little explanation in the form of this month was a perfect storm of my honestly chronic sleep deprivation ( if I was lucky i was getting fours hours of sleep before work, which isn't good for how much i am on my feet ) for the past year plus coming to a head, a schedule shift that happened just this past monday that i haven't ironed out the kinks with ( and won't for another weekish ) and some years long personal business that's finally getting all settled next thursday.

sprinkle in a tiny bit of sickness at the beginning of the month, and you have me with half finished fics everywhere and me becoming a hermit. all this to say, i have been trying to work on things, and i have made progress so ideally ( and i mean really truly ideally, i am not gonna make a single promise about this ) by/on halloween y'all will get spark among some other fics and i should be able to get back to a weekly fic posting schedule. i can't thank y'all enough for being patient, especially when it comes to spark and it should be worth the wait now that i think i have fully busted through a writing block i had with regards to it.

i know i kind of have fallen off reading and doing much of anything as well, but with any luck, i am gonna do more of that, too. as always, my inbox is open for whatever y'all want to swing by and drop in whatever you want in it, be it screaming about a fic or asking if i am updating or just saying hi.

[genericpuff]

Any tips on writing a buffer? I'm trying to make a LO "fan" series too but i have no idea how to write one ;^;

So I guess like... I mentioned I mostly focus on writing when I do my 'buffer' in a previous post, but 'buffer' isn't really the right word for it, it's more just like... plan ahead, y'know? 😂 A lot of webtoon originals creators are great at drawing but painfully not great at writing and honestly, I can't really rag on all of them equally, many of them did just start off with a neat central idea that got picked up by WT and then they had to essentially pants the project. I think one of my favorite examples of a webtoon you can tell had a lot of writing and rewriting put into it is City of Blank. It's got a very interesting plot with very goal-oriented writing, especially by its 2nd-3rd season when the stakes REALLY start to get high. Highly recommend you go check that out if you want to see a serialized webtoon with a very strong narrative foundation.

Anyways, I'm getting off-topic, but when it comes to like, "planning ahead" with your writing, really all I can recommend is:

Have a goal in mind. Where are your characters starting and where do you want them to end up? Is it a physical journey, or an emotional one?

You don't need to have every single detail planned ahead, but you should, at the very least, plan out as much of a beginning, middle, and end as you can, with major events or plot points in between. I tend to write 'event by event' so I'll essentially plot out all my major plot points, make sure they all work together in the overall theming of the narrative (so that every plot point has an actual reason to exist) and then hone in on the smaller details to ensure all those plot points connect and work together. Some people tend to do this while also pantsing (i.e. 'writing as you go') which is what I also think RS does, but there's a difference between writing as you go in front of a live audience and just writing as you go while you're drafting. Until you have a solid plan, keep it in the drafts, read it, rework it, re-read it again, etc. Have a plan, especially if you're planning on doing a serialized (i.e. weekly, monthly, etc.) series where you release things on a schedule.

Get feedback! Find some pals or people in the community who would be open to reading over things with you and giving feedback. Be aggressively open to feedback. Even Rekindled isn't just the sum of my own parts, I've gotten so much awesome feedback and suggestions from people in the community, particularly in UnpopularLO as its the community who got to see me start Rekindled from the very beginning. Many of the people in there have gotten to see Rekindled stuff before it ever made it onto Tumblr and I honestly don't think I could have made it this far without a lot of them LOL

There is no "right" or "wrong" method to planning. I use a combination of Scrivener, Excel, and notepad files to write my stuff out in a way that's comprehensible to me. After all, whatever you draft, it's for you. There's no pressure to try and make your drafts look presentable, they're your drafts. Make a mess, write stuff down, talk yourself through the process even if you think it looks crazy to type at yourself in your documents. Get your thoughts and ideas on paper and out of your head, even if it's not meant to be seen by anyone else yet!

[g-on-ef]

Hey, saw the summary for lan jer story and it looks so good, can't wait for u to update it. I am also excited for Nikobran story although I have a doubt, in which story the culprit will be revealed like in nikobran's story or in lanjer's story?

Although I don't want my baby bran to suffer but lan and niko will be there

I also wanted to know if lan will ever find out that niko visits bran at night in the heart was built to break cuz if he does then it will be chaotic and I can see lan going overboard in protecting bran

P. S I love ur writing 😁 hope to see ur new stories soon

Anon asked: Hello, thanks a lot for replying. I am. Excited for the new nikobran stories and also to see how it proceeds in the heart was build to break ( which I am loving a lot) poor bran believes that lan is keeping an eye on him all the time and yet certain things miss lan's eyes . Will landon ever find that niko visits bran at night?? If he does it will be so chaotic plus I am also excited to see niko's possessive side plus also the kidnapping scene too ( can't wait for it)

Anon asked: Hiiii, I read your kill for you dies for you fic and I loved it I hope u will update more. Can u tell me what is the schedule for that, is it similar to the heart was build to break fic i.e bi monthly? ( just curious about the schedule) also I am excited for the new nikobran and lanjer fics btw I also saw how u added some changes in 1st chap of the heart was build to break and I loved it, r u gonna add anymore changes to other chaps also?

Thank you so much for all the love you guys give to my fics I'm so excited for you to read them and see what happens

The culprit will be found in both stories they'll intertwin and there will be clues in both to see what happens ^^

Niko and Bran will definitely be there to protect Bran and they will be working as a tag team to protect him ^^

Lan is gonna find out but once he does oh boy shits gonna hit the fan and poor Bran is not sure what he's gonna do though I should mention I left a hint in my sneak preview post on what's to come ^^

Kill for you die for you spill blood for you is gonna be update bi weekly so I should have a chapter up hopefully this weekend ^^

Yes I made some changes and expect changes to be make because I am rereading the story and want to add and/or change things around ^^

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

Hi, I have hard executive dysfunctions but had some (temporary) results using to-do apps and stuff. For everything, brushing teeth, eating, etc. But it always end (very quickly) by me adding 30+ to dos for a day and working 10 hours to get them done until I break down. I can't not do it. Once I think about it, there is sooo much to do, so much I neglected.

So I saw this nice bullet journal in a shop today and took it with me and need some ideas how to make it, to not end like the others:

I thought about a symptom part, how good did I sleep, what mental health issues do I have, etc pp.

I am completely unsure if I should ad any "chore to-dos" or only self care/mental health ones. But even those feel like chores so...

And my energy level varies strongly so I thought about keeping it vague like idk "do one relaxing thing"-like maybe. So I could decide on that day, what I think I will get done. But that's pretty unsatifying.

Ah and, as much as I love such book and diaries etc, writing it down feels like a chore too so... It sounds worse than it is, I had some results but everything in this world sounds like a chore so I am unsure how to make this fun and manageable and neither go to the extreme nor give up.

Give me all your ideas and examples and plans.

Hi anon,

As soon as I saw your ask I just knew I wanted to answer it ~ I have ADHD, but because of other chronic health issues - I cannot take stimulant medications for it and rely on my adaptations to manage symptoms (and yup, some of my mental energy does get used up doing it this way - but it is possible for some of us!). I wanted to start by sharing some resource links and articles first:

The Best Work Schedule for ADHD Brains: Flexible or Rigid? (with resources at the end, and lots of reflections from a variety of folks who benefit from both - great starting point to see which style resonates with you)

Adults With Executive Function Disorder (scroll about halfway down for tips and resources)

Tips and Tricks for Executive Function Disorder (geared towards the caretaker of a child with it, but still impactful suggestions, including movement breaks and reward systems)

Executive Function Disorder: Bullet Journal (one person’s personal bullet journal and how an adaptable reward system - shaped like a bingo card - really helped them) 

But also wanted to share what I use/tell myself throughout the day/week to help: (under the cut to help avoid the post getting super long)

I personally use an adapted planner for the overall schedule, it’s got enough blank spaces where if I want to “change it up” I can do that week to week, but in general this is the place where I store my overall monthly calendar and every Sunday night write out my week ahead of “big things” (apps, time sensitive errands, etc).  

I take a picture of my monthly calendar, as well as my weekly so even if I’m out and about I can quickly refer to it if someone asks about a date - versus saying “I’ll check my calendar later and get back to you” . . . and then - never doing it, whoops!

People in my life are used to it by now, but essentially if someone tells me something like “next weekend is so and so’s birthday” - I’ll take a moment to set an alarm reminder to add it to my calendar when I’m home, and or make a text message note on my phone, and set an alarm that essentially reads “don’t forget to add your text notes to the calendar” (some days I can have like fifteen alarms going off throughout the day, but this way I also manage to add the information I need to, versus feeling like I’m constantly forgetting something, or worse, expending limited mental energy constantly cycling through a “don’t forget don’t forget don’t forget” concentration).

I timeblock my day every morning before everyone else is awake, for example: 7 to 8 - studies, 9 to 10 - social, and so on.  By doing it every day, I can refer back to it throughout the day and adjust as needed but also not plan too far ahead with no adaptability to changing circumstances.  I also ensure that for a chunk of “serious chores” I also schedule in what I like to call “serotonin boosts” - whether that’s some friends time, or creative time, whatever sparks joy for you.  There have definitely been days where I felt like I could not do one more email - and then reminded myself that as soon as I got through the five I scheduled myself for, then I could draw for an hour (a basic ‘this, then that’ reward system).  Suddenly, I manage to push through it, and often quicker than I had originally thought it would take - allowing me to have even more time with something that brings joy.

If I have to be somewhere at a certain time, I set several alarms, almost like a countdown 

I like to use fun color pens, or even pens with like fuzzy balls, or some other sort of stimming part to it as I work - it allows me a moment to stim if I need it, even when I’m tackling the “boring brain dump” stuff.

No amount of telling my brain “just do it” for twenty minutes is going to magically create the dopamine/serotonin it needs to do the thing.  So if a reward isn’t working, I get up and move with a timer to get it going that way, and then try again.

I’m sure there’s plenty more ideas/tips/tricks - anyone stumbling on this, please feel free to comment, reblog, and add to it, but I hope it’s a helpful start for you and anyone else out there looking for adaptions. - Mod Kat

[pumpkin-spike18]

✨Weekly Progress #22-25✨

Hello. I'm sorry about missing a month of updates 🙇‍♂️I'm not sure how it became a month, but better late than never...??

Weekly Progress #22

Worked on BAF jam stuff

Some marketing discussion/planning

Sketched EKL game page

Messaged about OtomeJam work

Finished all EKL pages linearts

Finished 3 EKL pages

It feels a little silly to talk about EKL now when the game's fully released 😂 But here's a WIP shot for one of the comic pages.

Yo, I hate accidentally ctrl+z on a tumblr post, this is my second time writing this.

lineart -> final

Ta-da, this is how one of the pages look altogether!

At this point, the handwritten word bubbles was for anything I wanted to animate. The other text was written in my sketches and all word bubbles were added via GUI + programming.

Screentoning has been my savior this whole game. I cannot tell you the relief of just blocking out a single color, going to CSP and setting the layer to screentone mode 😅

Weekly Progress #23

Finished all EKL pages

Checked some shipping costs…

Downloaded some new gamedev programs

Coded SAiD sprite

Wrote 2.9k words for SFB (Draft 1 finished!)

Rendered and programmed all EKL sprites

Programmed EKL scenes 0 & 1

Updated EKL GUI

Sky of Falling Birds (SFB) will be my next big project after SYVNH. You can read a bit more about it here, but I'll talk about it in detail another time. I'm happy the first draft has been finished at 21k+ words though!

Saintess Alasdair is Dead (SAiD) is an otome jam project I'm working on with @akuakourin and Amiralo as a programmer. ...I'm not sure how much I should be sharing here, but... back in Week #23, this was how my progress looked.

(Art by Akua)

The demo for SAiD is almost complete now and will be available for dark otome players June 30th!

Weekly Progress #24

Finished EKL programming

Finished and programmed 2 more EKL sprites

Programmed all SAiD sprites +updated GUI

coding week.

Another project where I pretend to know what I'm doing!

Weekly Progress #25

Worked on EKL gamepage

Finished +Programmed EKL main menu art

Started scripting SAiD

Built, published, and submitted EKL!

OtomeJam assets discussion

Future Projects discussion

Updated BGs, fonts, music, and SFX for OtomeJam

Updated OtomeJam gamepage

Started WinterJam project outline

A lot of indie gamedev is about meetings! ...I forget that because it usually feels like I'm just chatting with friends in discord and suddenly we're working on a project together.

Game page and main menu planning for EKL. The idea was to make the game page look like the back of a manga, and the main menu like the cover, spine, and back of a manga book.

Some elements didn't necessarily make it into the final cut.

And as I mentioned before, most of the SAiD demo is done!

(Art by Akua)

Okay, that's everything!! 💦Can you believe half the year is now over... Next week is a holiday so I should finally have time to get some proper devwork done and answer some comments and questions! (I read them all and I appreciate every one, I'm sorry I often can't always answer them;; )

I'll be scheduling my time for my ongoing projects. Thank you everyone, for sticking with me and playing all my projects!

[unsc-offical]

(I'm just gonna reblog my answer and not tag 9 more people because I only know like 3-4 people in halo tumblr)(and they've already been tagged)

Honestly up until 2-3 weeks ago I figured that faking my death and pretending to be another officer was enough but considering people keep attempting to kill me everyday I'm gonna assume I've been re-found so I guess I may as well answer

Last song-

Favorite color- navy blue and most other colors like that. Sometimes I like yellow.

Currently watching- so many things, I have weekly shows like whatever star trek is on at the time (lower decks currently, go watch it NOW), or only murders in the building, I'm also rewatching buffy tvs but that's all with my family, personally I've been watching red versus blue, any walking dead stuff I can get my hands on for free (webisodes) a YouTube series about the comic and tv show differences in the walking dead, I've also been digging into Garfield's weird lore and internet presence. I also am sad to admit I've been watching a very long playlist of one of my favorite gaming YouTuber's old... [Audible sigh] among us videos. I'm sorry I'll delete the blog now. (Hey at least it's not stupid "among us poppy playtime squid game Minecraft Ohio gyatt at 3am buzzword buzzword buzzword consume consume consume con-" it's normal stuff every YouTuber was doing back in 2020-21, I have standards. Anyway moving on)

Sweet/spicy/savoury-

All at once 😈😈😈

I'm a big fan of all three. Also umami or whatever.

Relationship status-

Single. No time for relationships when you're dropping into hell

Fr though I'm aroace and a minor so

Current obsession-

Read this to the tune of the nations of the world by wakko Warner, or don't, I can't tell you what to do, the list probably won't be long enough and this part will just come off as weird. Maybe I should just shut the fuck up and get into it; halo, lord of the rings, Garfield, starfield, battlestar galactica, deep rock galactic, aliens (franchise titled aliens), starship troopers (THE ONLY GOOD BUG IS A DEAD BUG), the walking dead, Garfield, <small>among us</small> , star trek, hollow knight, archery (the sport), (I could go on but this post is already longer than my entire fanfic lmao)

Last thing I googled-

Seth Gilliam (I was watching starship troopers for the first time and I was like wait is that Gabriel (the walking dead) ?)

Currently working on-

Halo Straight into hell (doing such a good job with my schedule, I'm no longer making promises because I clearly can't stick to them. Maybe a post tomorrow), making benches for a campsite I'm working on, school stuff, and raising baby cats.

@oni-official don't add this to my next psych eval I stg

9 People You'd Like To Get To Know Better

Tagged by @aqgarts. Bold. Thanks.

It'll be me, the Director, answering since I reckon 26th century media is overdone.

Last song: Plenty - Alternate Version by aeseaes. ONI playlist coming soon.

Favourite colour: I like my gray-scale shades but, outside of that, matte/dull gunmetal blue.

Currently watching: You, reading this. (I have a lot of trouble getting into series.)

Last movie: The Highwaymen.

Currently reading: Men at Arms - City Watch Arc, Discworld, Terry Pratchett.

Sweet/spicy/savory: Spicy/Savoury all the way.

Relationship status: Single. That's the thing about being a spook-

Current obsession: Halo. How ripe with potential.

Last thing I googled: 350F to C (I was baking cookies)

Currently working on: Fallen Angels [File 3.1], a retelling of an ODST squad's mission on a world lost to the Covenant, recently declassified. I swear we'll have this out soon.

There is, of course, zero pressure to respond since ONI already knows everything about you, but we wouldn't mind updating our files -

@sign-language-is-pretty-handy @tvlovesfandom @mel-a-art @holyshonks @ageless-aislynn @dougielombax @gameknigh @unsc-offical @monitorchakas

[enluv]

they clumsily reveal your relationship

— enhypen hyung line x fem!reader

warnings: none! all fluff :)

◜heeseung◞

he forgets to turn off vlive 😬

Heeseung is smart, and yes I say that a lot but it's because he really is. I don't think he'd even register that he didn't turn off Vlive like he'd be like "okay bye!" then shut off his phone and that's when you walk in and hand him some snacks and maybe even tell him how well the live went. Right as he's going to pull you into his arms the door is flung open and a staff is whisper yelling that the vlive is still on. Poor boy literally freezes and just turns to his camera slowly opening back up his phone to turn off vlive (he checks it thrice to make sure it's off). I think it's safe to say that he trends for a while that night till the next and even though people don't see you, they just know that you're his significant other.

◜jay◞

flashes your contact name on live 😐

Jay is scheduled to have a vlive in the morning but since he can't sleep, he asks the staff if he can do it the night before rather and without hesitation they agreed (this is one of their biggest regrets to date). Normally Jay keeps his phone on dnd and just chills with engenes but he really does not anticipate a call from you so he leaves it off and while he's showing off a picture he'd taken earlier that day, your call comes in, flashing thousands of people his contact name for you, "y/n ❤" (a lil basic but it gets the point across). Not even going to lie...Jay just pretends it didn't happen. No seriously he slides it away and goes back to showing his pictures. Of course internally he is freaking the frick out but he knows that if he plays this off right, then it'll be okay.

◜jake◞

admits it on weekly idol 🤥

Weekly idol is known as one of the funniest shows an idol can appear on. It's host know exactly how to get idols to let loose and spill all the piping hot tea on their fellow members, and it never fails without a doubt. This time around their targets are none other than new boy group Enhypen's hyung line and it seems that the tactis worked because here is Jake Sim, confessing on record that he does in fact have a significant other whom he loves very much. Now that really shuts everyone up, and Jake doesn't realize his mistake until it's too late and the hosts are trying to get more facts, ones he's not ready to give. It's safe to say the segments cut out but anyone who's anyone knows about your now semi-public relationship.

◜sunghoon◞

posts your date pictures to weverse 😔

Sunghoon is one of the few members who is consistent with Weverse posts and most of the time it's a cute little selca or a fit post. Well not this time! Having your boyfriends notifications on was a must in his books (you're not sure why when he literally sends you the pictures right before posting asking if he should post them 💀) so when you'd gotten the "Sunghoon has shared a moment" notification let's just say you were definitely not expecting to see your face plastered along with his in a cute cheek kissing pose. Sunghoon deletes it immediately but the damage is done and fans are speculating who you could be. Not going to lie, it's a bit of a mess but things calm down when he addresses it on a radio show the next week, he tells the fans that you're a close friend (with your approval of course) and not to worry about it much. He'll continue to answer questions about you here and there and fans speculate but let it be, because as long as he's happy so are they!

coco's note: this posted by accident last time and I freaked out omfg but anyways here it is <3 hoon's is a lil iffy since I wasn't sure where to go with it but enjoy!

[hkblack]

Hello :) I have a question about communicating with beta-readers: When I'm updating my fic, am I supposed to tell my beta-readers that I just uploaded a new chapter (that they previously edited) or is that unnecessary?

Oh good question! I think the answer is "it depends."

Is it a story that is complete and you're just dragging the posting phase out? Is it a story that isn't complete but is on a set schedule for posting? Did this reader do just one chapter or all of the chapters? If the story is still a WIP, is this reader sticking with you for the long haul?

Personally, I subscribe to any multi-chapter fic I have beta-read that is not posted in one go, or any multi-chapter fic I am actively beta-reading that is a WIP.

I'm doing a long answer behind the cut for you anon, cause I started a new job last week and my brain is mush. So this counts as this weeks Weekly Post.

I asked @ambrasue, who beta-read Beyond Grace (Good Omens, T) for me, for her thoughts. BG started posting after it had been completed. We were 100% done with the editing process when the first chapter was posted. I actually talked out a posting schedule with Ambra as part of the beta-reading process. I wasn't sure if I wanted to post it all at once, stretch it out to once a week, or clip along at twice a week. Ambra ultimately helped me decide to post two chapters a week, because she and I both knew I was going to go back through every chapter for a final brush up before posting. Giving myself a few days in between each chapter gave me the ability to do that. So she knew when to expect chapters. She has informed me that despite knowing the schedule (and despite me interrupting many conversations about totally unrelated things going "oh shit I forgot it's a BG chapter day, hold on. Pick a snippet for tumblr I can't choose"), she also subscribed to BG, so she got notifications that way. She says that much like me, she subscribes to multi-chapter fics she's read as they are posted. I think I can speak safely for both of us when I say, it's sort of part of the cheerleading process. Seeing that last chapter post, even if you haven't looked at that story in a hot minute because the heavy editing is done, is the actual moment when you get to put your beta-reading hat down and go "YOU DID IT! WE DID IT! CELEBRATE!"

When it comes to WIPS, I've recently started working with @aethelflaedladyofmercia on Custody Battle (Good Omens, M, Mind The Tags). When we first were diving into the story together, she let me know that she posts chapters on Saturdays. Like I said, Custody Battle is not complete, so me knowing that schedule is essential to our beta-reading relationship. I have a deadline for myself for each chapter so that Aethelflaed can have the time to make changes. I have also subscribed to Custody Battle so that I can see when those chapters go up. Do I need the subscription? Probably not, because I know that things get posted on Saturdays. But it's nice to see when in the day things were posted. If the chapter goes up later and I didn't get the editing done until later in the week, it might not be my fault that that chapter went up "late" but it's a reminder of my part in the process. If it goes up earlier, I know that when I said "no really, this is perfect, don't change anything," there's a shared confidence there. Or like. I dunno. Maybe Aethelflaed is going to the zoo and wants to get the chapter up earlier so she doesn't have to think about it later. Doesn't really matter. But by subscribing, I can start to see what "normal" is for Aethelflaed so I can adjust my own reading schedule to match.

So again, it depends.

Is the story complete, and are you just stretching out the posting timeline? You should tell your beta-reader that the first chapter is posted, and maybe let them know what your posting schedule will be (maybe if you aren't sure what kind of schedule to keep, you can use them as a sounding board as you did for the rest of the story). In my opinion, you don't need to let them know about every individual chapter.

Is the story a WIP, and you're posting as you go? Then your beta-reader should already know when you're posting. They need to know what they can still help edit, and what has been locked by virtue of being published. Maybe you don't have to send them a link every time you post, maybe they will subscribe themselves, but you should at least be providing a running commentary on your process, "Hey I'm skipping posting this week because I'm going to the zoo," "I know we're not 100% satisfied with this chapter, but I'm going to post it as is. Let's move on," "Here's the line of no going back! This is all posted so we're working from this highlight on!"

What if they only read one chapter in a long multi-chapter work that you needed help on? You should treat it as if it was the first chapter. "Hey, I posted the chapter, here's a link to the whole story, the chapter you helped with is chapter x, thank you again!"

And of course with all of this, you should give credit where credit is due. I do beta-reader shoutouts in the first chapter and final chapter for someone who is with me the entire way. And if someone provides expertise for one chapter, or only does a single chapter for me, I'll say something in that chapter's Author's Note.

I hope this helps!

[youremeimyou]

Old Lovers

pairing: Min Yoongi x reader genre: angst with sprinkles of fluff, ex-boyfriend au word count: almost 5k warning: some passionate kissing

Description: Min Yoongi is your ex-boyfriend that you’ve parted ways not on the greatest of terms with. But in the makings of a mixtape, somethings will be rekindled. Will it be friendship or maybe more?

A/N: I’ve started writing this so long ago but only recently got to finish it. I haven’t been able to post any fics in a while even though I’ve got a lot of wip. I’m graduating uni and my life’s basically a chaos right now. But I liked writing this a lot. I hope you enjoy! Please let me know what you think of it :) [posting again cuz it’s not showing on tags ughh]

Going back to school has never been this painful to you before. Of course assingments, exams and longer than necessary lectures were always there to welcome you back to hell every year but no new semester intimidated you quite like this one does. Especially after the very much disconnected summer break you had.

Spending the summer in your hometown of Gwangju was a rushed decision that was actually forced upon you at the time. But it turned out to be exactly what you needed. At least, Hoseok made sure that it was. Being your life-long friend, he took matters into his own hands when you couldn't pull yourself together after the rough patch you've been through. The Hoseok-ie rule he called it: No getting in touch with anyone in Seoul. And while it was a little hard not reaching out to close friends in Seoul, you couldn't risk breaking the Hoseok-ie rule. He's sweet and you love him but that guy is one scary motherfucker when he's pissed.

Now, summertime's over and you're definetely not prepared to face your demons. It doesn't help that Hoseok's classes aren't starting until next week, either. That means you have to go through this alone.

On your way from the subway station to the campus, you check the new weekly schedule once more and it makes you let out a dissappointed huff. You can't blame anyone. You made this schedule. But do you have any idea why you decided to put music theory at 9 in the morning while you were making it? No.

Your legs take action before you know it and suddenly you're now turning to the other street. They continue to take you through another familiar path. As you close in on the shop at the corner, the calming smell of coffee reaches your nose and you realise why coming here was more tempting than attending class.

This coffee shop was your safe haven for the past three years and this semester isn't going to be any different. Even though it's so close to campus, not many people know about it and it's never hectic. Which is something you love and right now, definetely need. Some peace and quiet before starting the semester...

You enter and head straight to the barista, who happens to be a friend of yours since you're a regular.

"Hey Ryu."

"Well well, if it isn't Miss I'll come everyday this summer that never showed up once." Ryu has sarcasm alongside with mischief in his voice.

"I know but Hoseok kept me in Gwangju as a prisoner the whole summer, I'm sorry."

"Where's that dancing machine?"

"He doesn't have classes until next week so it's just me for now." You're still not over the fact he left you on your own for the first week.

"It's fine, you're not alone. Look!" Ryu points to the back where the tables are. You're confused as to who he could be pointing at. You and Hoseok are the only ones you know that come here- except...

In a flash, you stop turning around and hurriedly order a black coffee. "Please make it quick." you plead quietly but what's done is done, he already knows you're here. In fact you can hear footsteps approaching.

"That drink was great, dude. What's it called again?" He appears on your right side in his all-black outfit with a snapback. Nothing's changed about him, you think. Except you see some of his hair through the hat and it seems to be bleached. Something he hasn't done for a while. For the two years you two were together, to be exact.

"Oh, it's called yuanyang. You think I should put it on the menu?"

"Definetely, go for it."

It seems like he doesn't even acknowlegde the fact that you're right next to him. But why the hell did he even come here? You totally introduced him to this place and Ryu. So, you should get to keep this place after the break-up. Aren't those the rules?

He takes out his wallet to pay but pauses for a second. "Ryu, can I get two cookies to go?" he asks and hands over his card.

Two cookies? You know he doesn't like sugaries that much. You're almost sure he's meeting someone and it makes you scoff, unconsciously. Both him and Ryu side-eye you but you avert your gaze. "Chocolate ones, please." he adds. You think he must be ordering your favorites just to spite you.

He recieves the cookies from Ryu, fistbumps the guy and starts walking out. But then, just as he passes by you, he leaves one of the cookies on the counter in front of you and exits without another word.

First, you're shocked. And so is Ryu, apparently. You glance at him and he confusedly shrugs. Then, you're pissed. In a moment of anger, you blast out of there to go after him.

"Hey, Min Yoongi!" you shout.

He stops but doesn't turn around for a while. Just when he's about to, you appear right in front of him, the cookie in your hand.

"What's this?"

"What does it look like to you?" he retorts back, his eyes avoiding yours. And you frustratedly huff.

"What are you trying to pull?" you ask with hints of accusation in your voice. That's when he meets your gaze.

"Nothing at all. My fault for trying to be nice."

There it is, the Min Yoongi venom you were waiting for. He opens his mouth to say something else but you beat him to it.

"Ryu doesn't seem to know that we-" you pause. And immediately regret pausing. Why couldn't you just say it?

"Oh, right. You must be thinking that life stopped while you were away." And only as he says this that you notice the dark circles under his eyes. "He knows. So do a lot of other people, by the way."

Well, shit. You might've been away from all the post-breakup commotion but he was here. He was dealing with everyone of your social circle, alone. And what's the first thing you do when you see him for the first time after all that? Lashing out at him. And when he was just trying to be nice, too. Great...

"Can you move? I'm missing class." he says coldly. But despite trying to hide it, his voice sounds tired. Which makes you step out of his way and let him go. Instead, you start making your own way to class, being already late as it is.

Safe to say it's an awkward walk to campus, with you on one side of the street and Yoongi on the other. The bad news is, you constantly find yourself looking his way. Even though you curse under your breath everytime you catch yourself staring at him, you can't help but look again. But his eyes are completely fixed on the road, not even sparing you one glance.

To escape the awkwardness, you decide taking the longer route to class by heading for the stairs at the back while he takes the ones near the entrance. Since you're late and afraid of Professor Sol, you fasten your pace. Once you reach the door, your hand clashes into someone else's. Yoongi's. Of course, you think to yourself. You should've known he's taking music theory from Professor Sol. He's the best student when it comes to music and the best teacher here definetely wants him on his class.

It's too late when you realise you haven't removed your hand because he opens the door with yours under his, making it feel as though you're holding hands.

"So you finally decided to grace us with your presence? You shouldn't have. The class is about to end." Professor Sol scolds the two of you. She isn't exactly wrong. "I can pardon a student who already excells but the one who barely passes classes, I hope you know what you're doing Miss Y/N." One thing about her is that she notoriously discriminates between students and she's never liked you.

Yoongi's hand and yours is still connected and you feel him tense up. He actually used to be your guardian when it came to Professor Sol. And apparently old habits die hard because he grabs your hand harder and steps up a little. "The last I checked, at least eighty percent of your class fails every year, professor. It includes people who rank highest in some of the other classes. Strange, don't you think?"

Only Min Yoongi has the guts to do this. And only he gets a free pass after doing it. When the professor simply points you in the direction of the seats, Yoongi pulls you by the hand he’s still holding and sits you down. There’s immediately talk going around, people discussing if you were back together and all that. That’s when he snaps out of it and lets your hand go. So you’re finally able to let out the breath you were unknowingly holding. Then, he goes to one of the back seats and sits down himself. And you quietly wonder why that hurts you.

It's Hoseok's first day back and the two of you are enjoying some coffee at Ryu's shop, after a long school day.

"Y/N, I've got some bad news." he says, looking gloomy all of a sudden.

"Wha- hurry up and tell me." You hate the suspense, it makes you worry.

"I haven't been able to find a studio that we can continue the album with." He looks really upset. That's only natural, he's been working on this project for over a year now. Before you broke up with Yoongi, Hoseok was writing and producing a mixtape in Yoongi's studio with you and Yoongi's help. After you parted ways, the mixtape was put on hold.

"I've saved a lot of money this summer. We can look into some expensive ones too, I'm sure we can-"

"It's not the money, Y/N. I can't work on it the way I want to in any of those other studios. Even if it's one of the expensive ones." he cuts in. Yes, Yoongi was probably the only person to let Hoseok do his own thing.

"Well then, you should talk to Yoongi. I'm sure he'll be cool with working with you, still. As long as I don't show up, it should be fine."

He rolls his eyes. "I can't do it without you, Y/N. I'll need your help, so you'll have to show up eventually."

It's your turn to roll your eyes. You don't want anything to do with that studio. But you know how important this mixtape is to Hoseok, so you say okay. Even though you doubt Yoongi would be fine with you being there.

Speak of the devil and he shall appear. In his damned, cursed, beautiful leather jacket... This time there's no hat so you can fully observe his bleached hair and notice how it's grown longer.

"Would you really be okay with it? I don't wanna put you in this position, no. Let's just forget it-"

"Hoseok-ie, you're lovely. But for now, shut up." You get up and make your way to Yoongi's table. Hoseok's mixtape has to be done, no matter what. Seems like he hasn't noticed you so you clear your throat to grab his attention.

"What?" he asks, not looking at you. Your blood slowly starts to boil.

"I need to ask you something-"

"Ryu, I kinda need that coffee asap, buddy!" He cuts you off by hollering at the barista and starts to gather his things. He really must want to get on your nerves.

"Actually, first things first, why in the bloody hell are you still coming here?" You can't help but lash out again. You discovered this place after all, you have the right to claim it.

"Excuse me?"

"I showed you this place, it's my territory. Don't you know the break-up rules?"

He laughs at that. In such a condescending way that you regret saying it. He stops getting ready and settles on the table once again. "You're cute."

Oh, you're so close to smacking him on the head.

"And you're an asshole."

Ryu comes with Yoongi's order and leaves it on the table. "I thought you were in a hurry." He says while heading back to the counter.

"I suddenly wanna stay longer." Yoongi states, looking straight at you.

Every fiber of your being wants to avoid his eyes and run away from there, he knows exactly how to make you vulnerable. But you endure. For Hoseok.

"I'll get to the point. Hoseok needs to keep working with you. Our situation shouldn't effect his mixtape, don't you think?"

He switches to serious mode quickly. "Was this your idea or his?"

"What does it matter-"

"I'm only okay with it if he wants to do it on his own will and not by you forcing him."

Okay, you do get a little bossy sometimes but he didn't have to put it as harsh as that.

"He wants to. He refused other studios and all that."

You think you see his lips curve into a small smile for a second. Hoseok and Yoongi got along very well, actually. You never wanted for them to stop being friends, anyway. This might be a chance for them to catch up even. Of course, there's a slight problem.

"But- he says he can't do it without... well, me. He wants to make sure that you're okay with-"

"Not a problem." Yoongi unexpectantly cuts you off. You're rendered speechless due to shock. He finally turns his head and looks at you. "My studio is a workplace, Y/N. Why would it bother me when you're there for work purposes? Especially when you're essential to the process."

Yoongi's sense of kindness is a very strong thing. But it's well hidden under all the coldness and sarcasm. You'd know, it had taken you a while to get to it. But when you did, it made you fall for him even harder at the time. And now, even though things between you are over, you can still see it.

"Thanks..." is all you can say while turning around to go back but suddenly your feet stop and turn back around. "Actually, thanks for before with Professor Sol, too. Even though you don't need to stand up for me anymore-"

"It's not that I needed to, Y/N. It's that I wanted to."

He goes back to gathering his stuff and you head back to give Hoseok the details of how it went. Just as you're about to, Yoongi stops by your table before leaving.

"Hoseok-ie, text me later to come up with a schedule for studio hours, okay?"

Hoseok is visibly happy and responds with a big smile. "Sure thing."

It's been three weeks since Hoseok started to work at Yoongi's studio again. But today is the first time that you'll be going there since the break-up. Even though time has passed, you're still not used to being around Yoongi all the time. Like having to attend almost all the classes with him and also, well... without him.

Without him sitting next to you, practically glued to your side, while you both silently giggle in the middle of the lecture as he whispers stupid jokes in your ear. The fact that you're consantly around him (not by choice by the way) prevents you from getting over him.

And now the studio... One of the most dangerous places for you now because of the memories you have with him there. You know, an intimate, indoor space with dim lights... A perfect spot for activities you definitely don't want to be reminded of. But for your best friend Hoseok, you have to go.

When you arrive, you call Hoseok to open up the door, too nervous to ring the doorbell. Once you enter, your giggly friend drags you hurriedly into the recording room.

"Okay warm your voice up. We should start with the vocals-"

"Wow there, pickle." you say. Vocals were maybe the only thing you told him you wouldn't do. What did he think? That he could hurry you into it and you wouldn't notice? "What vocals, Hoseok? I'm here to arrange, mix and maybe write some melodies, you know that."

"Shhh... look you gotta. Otherwise Yoongi's gonna have some other girl do it and I don't want that."

What girl? For as long as you can remember, Yoongi has tried to get you to sing. For Hoseok's and other albums. But you don't have confidence in your voice so you've always refused. And now he just wants some other girl?

"Have you told him you don't want that?"

"Yes, obviously. He told me if I can't convince you, we had no other choice. So c'mon, just try for me? Pleaseee?"

You sneakily glance out the window to see Yoongi talking with the said girl. She’s probably from your school even though you haven’t seen her here before. She’s standing a bit too close to Yoongi’s chair and leaning on him a little but that’s none of your business. And you definetely don’t care. But still, you can’t have someone whom Hoseok’s not comfortable with, sing in his own damn album.

You go out the room and toward Yoongi and the girl. “We need to speak.” you say and head for the other room. Yoongi huffs while following after you.

“What is it miss grumpy?”

You roll your eyes. “Are you really pulling an ultimatom on me like this? Hoseok clearly isn’t okay with this girl-”

“Hoseok isn’t okay with anyone but you. This isn’t my ultimatom, it’s his. Marley’s like the third person I asked to do this and he didn’t like any of them. Because what he wants is your voice. You really can’t see that Y/N?”

He sounds fed up and exhausted. What he says makes sense too, since you know how stubborn and sneaky your best friend can be.

He continues. “Look, if we want the album to proceed there are three options. First is Marley does the vocals and Hoseok will be unhappy about it. Second is there’ll be no female vocals which will make the whole thing empty and far from what we planned. Or third, you can do them and save us all the grimace.”

He makes it seem like he doesn’t care which you’ll go with but in his eyes, you can see hope that you’ll say yes to the third. But no. You’re not ready, you can’t. In your mind, you suck. So you convince Hoseok to go with Marley for now.

So, days go by. Marley comes pretty often to record. Hoseok’s not frowning that much about it anymore. And you notice how every chance she gets, Marley is pulling the moves on Yoongi. Which seem to work, since sometimes they come in or leave together. None of it bothers you at all, you tell yourself.

One day, you come in pretty late at night remembering you left your notes there. Since you have a spare key, you think you can be in and out unnoticed. Silly you because once you hear Yoongi playing the piano, you can’t just leave. You wait outside the room until he’s done and some stupid momentary courage makes you go in.

“Oh- I’m sorry.” you instantly say when you see Marley sitting next to him. “I just forgot my- I was leaving-”

“Wait!” Yoongi says hurridly to stop you. “We were done here anyway.”

Marley doesn’t look happy but gets up and leaves.

“No really, I got my notes and I was about to head out. She doesn’t need to leave on my account-”

“It’s not on your account. But since you came in here, you must have something to say?”

Why does it feel like he wants you to say something? Why does it seem like he wants you to stay? You’re convinced it’s your own mind playing tricks on you.

“No. I don’t.” you lie with a broken voice. But your feet aren’t leaving. And Yoongi is still staring at you with a cold attitude but expecting eyes.

“Fine.” you give up and say. “I thought the piano room wasn’t allowed to just anyone. I guess since she was in here...” you cut yourself off. The piano room was kind of your special place when you were together. Nobody other than you was allowed in here. This is the place you two would spend hours and hours coming up with songs. Or just talking about things you shared only with each other.

“I’m just giving her piano lessons for some extra cash. And this room doesn’t mean much to me anymore.”

His answer dissappoints you. Not the part that he indirectly said they weren’t dating. The latter part. “And here I thought the whole secrecy of the piano room was just your way of pulling the moves on whoever you’re dating.” As long as the sentence is finished, you regret saying it. You know it isn’t right. What you said is unfair to every intimate and meaningful moment you had with him here. And your words come down like the last drop on his patience.

He shoots out of the seat. “If I wasn’t so goddamn sure that you already know how you’re the first person I ever brought in here, I’d be hurt. But instead I’m just pissed.”

He’s right to be. So you can’t say anything back.

“How can you even-” he stops for a moment. “But that’s just your way, isn’t it? Spit out venom whenever you don’t like something.”

“Me?” you ask in shock. Now this you can’t have. “No. Poisonous words are your specialty.”

“And you already left me for it, didn’t you? You left me so why would you care who I bring in here anyway?” He’s switched to his shouting voice now.

“You’re right, I’m sorry. But I left because you pushed me away, Yoongi.” He averts his gaze to the floor while you continue. “I know that you love music more than anything else but what I also happen to know is that you use it as an escape. An excuse to not get too close. But guess what? We were already too close for me to not realise what you were doing! And that is why I left!”

Both of you are obviously done shouting and silence takes over the room for a while. You already had to push back tears like twice now, so you decide to leave but just then, Yoongi has something to say.

“This room will never have any significance with anyone else besides you. Just know that.” he silently admits with his eyes still fixed on the ground. You don’t say anything and just walk away.

It’s nearly the end of the semester and Hoseok’s mixtape is finally finished. He was so exited that he accidentely published it three times in a row on soundcloud. And the fact that he’s getting some great feedback is the icing on top.

In the meantime, you’ve been doing a lot of thinking. After that fight with Yoongi, you’ve started to seriously consider the fact that maybe leaving him just like that was a mistake. Because yes, you were hurt that after all you had been through, he was still trying to keep you at bay. You felt like as you were falling completely and irreversably for him, he was still holding back. But when you left, you were gone all the way. Leaving him all alone when you knew he was hurt.

Spending the last couple of months together, you finally admitted to yourself that you missed him. And that it did bother you seeing him with other girls. It bothered you that Marley was so obviously into him. Even though he made it clear he wasn’t interested, you still felt... jealous.

But you never mustered up the courage to talk to him about any of these. Even though it seems like lately he’s trying not to be cold around you, trying to strike up random converstions in efforts to perhaps recover at least your friendship. For some stupid reason you can’t seem to dare let him back in.

Your buzzing phone pulls you out of your thoughts. You check and see it’s your best friend that you’ve been feeling extra proud of these days.

“Yes, my successful, on his way to become a star best friend?”

“Oh my god, Y/N. You won’t believe this!” he squeaks while talking. And you hate the suspense so you tell him to hurry up and tell you what’s up.

“Yoongi’s friend in radio 12 agreed to play the title song!”

“What??” you start to squeak in exitement as well. “When? When will it be on?”

“In about two minutes! Just put the station on, now!” he orders and hangs up immediately. He’ll probably call his parents next. You quickly do as he says and for sure, the next song is Hoseok’s title track. You start hopping in your bed, dancing around in your room with the dumbest smile on your face but then-

The bridge comes and it’s your voice. That’s impossible, you think. But it is you singing the bridge. And then it hits you. That one night you snuck into the studio with your spare key and recorded this exact bit, just to see how it’d be... As always, you thought it wasn’t good enough. But instead of deleting, you hid the file. Guess you couldn’t hide it that well, after all. Was it Hoseok that did this? Or...

Your phone buzzes again and once again it’s Hoseok. “Y/N- This was the best surprise you ever made for me. I’m literally about to cry, you sound so good! Thank you for doing this.”

It wasn’t Hoseok, then. But you’re thrilled to know he likes it that much. You’re thrilled to hear yourself on a freaking radio station that so many people listen to! It feels amazing. It gives you so much confidence. So much that after ending the call with Hoseok, you decide to go to the only person left who could’ve done this.

You’re at Yoongi’s door. You haven’t been here for a long time but despite the nervousness, you manage to knock. It’s pretty late but you know he’s a night owl, he should be up. Soon enough, he opens the door. He’s taken aback to see you at first but then his surprised expression turns into worry.

“I know why you’re here. I’m sorry I used the recording without your consent but-”

You launch yourself onto him and crash your lips on his. His response is so quick that it’s almost automatic. He pulls you in even more, closes the door with his foot and traps your body againts the wall with his own. All the while not parting your lips once. Your hands go to his hair. You’ve been wanting to brush your fingers through his hair ever since you’ve seen that he bleached it again after two years. You pull at the tips slightly. It makes him hum into your mouth.

“Wait-” he says while he pulls away suddenly. “You-” You’re both out of breath. “Are you really okay with what I did?”

“Yes.” You close the distance once again and this time he moves you to the couch. You’ve missed this couch. You’ve missed him...

He pulls back again. “Y/N- wait. What are we doing?”

“What do you think?” you tease as your lips travel down to his neck.

“I wanna talk to you first, though.” he manages to say between his panting.

“So talk.” you say and go back to the week spots on his neck, secretly smiling against his skin.

“You’re not-” he swallows a groan. “exactly making it easy.” He then pulls your head up to face him and gives you another long kiss. But this time not out of the heat of the moment. Instead with so much meaning engraved on it.

“Y/N... I never meant to hurt you.” he says staring into your eyes. “You were right, I was a coward but- I swear if you give me another chance, I will give it my all. I’ll be a thousand percent in.”

You smile. He looks so much like a lost puppy that it makes you want to tease him. “Well, prove that to me right now then.” you say slyly.

“Uhh- I will. I- I’m gonna go dye my hair brown, right now. I bleached it to get your attention, anyway. Not to attract others, I promise.” he says in panic.

You burst into laughter. When you first started dating, you talked him into not bleaching his hair anymore. You always said it was only for his health but he always knew you were jealous of girls getting attracted because of it, too. “No, don’t. I actually missed how even hotter it makes you look. Let’s keep that for now.” you say. “I was kidding, you don’t have to do or say any-”

“I love you.”

You pause. It’s not the first time he tells you that. But this time he says it in such a way that you’re certain it’s the real thing. Even more real than before. “I love you, too.”

“So...” he leans into you and whispers in your ear. “Couch or bed?”

You both giggle. “Surprise me.” you whisper back and he quickly tries to lift you but fails, making you both laugh out loud. “Umm- I haven’t been working out lately, baby. I’m sorry.” he says between giggles.

Between all the laughter, you silently thank him for giving you another chance, too. And make a mental promise that you won’t give this up so easily ever again.

....

A/N: This was my first Yoongi fic and I feel good about it. It’s really hard to imagine Yoongi not being a god at music so anytime I use him as a character, he’s always a prodigy lol. I can’t help it he’s just really good. Anyways if you’ve bared with this, thank you sooo much for reading and I hope you liked it. Let me know if you did. Always wash your hands and stay healthy :)

[msgrumpygills]

I gotta say, the more relatable the Pads try to seem, the more they piss people off.

I am a mother two. My husband constantly works to keep us afloat and I take side jobs when I can as long as it works with my kid's school schedules because we can't afford child care. I don't have multiple nannies to watch my kids or help with housework and you know what? I don't complain about how hard it is. It's the life I chose to have. I don't expect praise for doing what I am supposed to do. My husband works 5 days a week and when he isn't working, he's spending time with us. Sometimes he'll even take the kids off my hands for a few hours so I can get a break because that's what a good father and husband does. When he posts about them on social media, it's always talking about how grateful he is to spend the time with them that he does get to spend. And we all get on each other's nerves. The kids drive both of us crazy and we drive each other crazy, but we don't try and pretend like we're perfect. We're a typical family.

A family who can afford to have staff on hand at all times, a mother who never has to worry about bills and education, who never has to feel guilty for taking a few minutes to herself because she knows someone else is there to take care of whatever she's putting off, a mother who has time to do anything other than provide for her spouse and her children...a father who spends all his free time away from home, who complains about how hard it is to be around his kids, a man who praises his wife for all that she does without acknowledging that she has help, all while pretending that they are perfect...that's not a family, that's Hollywood.

Pictire perfect doesn't exist and anyone with a brain knows that. If they want to peddle their crap they need to stop trying so hard and be real for once because, lets be honest, you cant live off the money of adoring fans forever. People lose interest in thing over time and Walker isn't exactly thriving. Eventually the spn crowd is going to fizzle out (of course there will still be those few who stay forver) and a handful of people emptying their pockets to line theirs isn't enough to keep their lifestyle. People don't want to see perfect and they sure as hell don't want to listen to people with more money than anyone needs and help around every corner complain about how hard life is for them. And sure? Celebrities have struggles, but those struggles are not on the same level as the people they're trying to relate to. People definitely don't want to keep shelling out their hard earned money give to a celebrity so that celebrity can donate a portion of it to a charity when thay celebrity has more than enough to reach the goal that they set on their own.

I hope they wake up to reality soon. Otherwise they're gonna end up like the rest of us and as much as I would pay to see that wake up call, i don't wish that kind of abrupt life change on those children (being raised by parents who don't know how to function without gobs of money and never had to raise them alone could be seriously damaging)

I want to say that I commend you and admire you so much! I can’t imagine the strength and willpower it takes to do what you do, and if no one has told you today, you are so appreciated! <3 

Your family is the exact type that Jared and Gen are trying to portray. They wanna paint themselves as the hardworking parents that work so hard to support and take care of their three kids and how Gen is a hero for doing it all on her own while Jared is winning that bread. They’re definitely actors playing a role here and their “family” is as authentic as Jared’s sobriety. 

I think by trying to be relatable, they just make asses of themselves. Everyone knows they have a staff of help, but Gen acts like she has to fight to get time to herself. Jared acts like seeing his kids is the worst thing on the planet and he makes sure everyone knows it. Like I said, some parents joke around about the kids driving them insane, but it’s not every single post. On top of that, those parents who make those jokes once in a while are present all the time, they’re with the kids, they appreciate their kids, they don’t pop in for the weekly dad appearance and then complain about it the whole time. Jared might think he’s being cute and relatable, but he looks like an asshole. 

I don’t know if anyone else here ever watched Wife Swap, but I would LOVE to see the Pads swap lives with an actual family who has actual problems. They would implode. I think you’re right about the kids, they’re the ones who are going to suffer ultimately, more than they probably already are.  Their father is barely there (I wanna say Jared brought that up about his kids not really knowing him? Maybe it was someone else so don’t quote me on that.) and when he is there, he acts like he can’t get away fast enough. He just pops in for the staged “family goals” pictures and then shovels the kids back onto the nannies so he can go act like a 20-something college kid.  Their mother only pays attention to them when she needs them to pose for her charade of happy family on instagram. When she doesn’t need them, she’s shilling them onto the nannies so she can go have “me time” which she certainly doesn’t get enough of, being unemployed and letting ghost writers take care of her passion projects. When she should be a caring mother, she monetizes it. Nothing is genuine and you can tell that the kids are getting tired of being the performing monkeys for her clickbait social media posts. 

I’d hope that Jared has some money stored away and has invested it well so they’ll be prepared for when Supernatural fizzles out and when Walker (hopefully sooner than later) dies out. Gen won’t be able to jet around the country and buy clothes that are as much as car payments, and Jared won’t have the extra money to go blow on weekend getaways and traveling to anywhere that isn’t his compound. They might even have to downsize and what are they gonna do without their 3 gyms, tennis court, pool and guest house? 

I hope they get a wake-up call or snap out of it, but I don’t see that ever happening with these people. 

[foxymoxynoona]

Hello,

I've just binge-read Lowlander these past couple of days and my head is sPinniNG with everything that's happened. The fact that there's been so much plot and character development in one single month(!!) of Marguerite being there, and that you've managed to create so much context and feeLinGs, all kinds of feelings, leaves me in awe. M's thoughts bouncing everywhere all the time were very understandable and I love that she's still so strong and hasn't given up her wish to make a choice.

(ngl, can't believe I read 40 chapters so fast haha, wish i'd been as quick with the books i had to read in school and uni)

I didn't comment on ao3 at all bc I was too curious about what would happen next, but now that I'm done with the available chapters I've come here to just asdhjklhds @ you haha

I would like to know, though, if you have a posting schedule for its chapters, like you had/have for other fics(?) If you do, could you tell me what day of the week I should usually check ao3 for a new chapter? Or if you post every other week or in any other way? I don't mean to pressure you or anything, sorry if it comes across that way (๑•﹏•)

I'm all over the place with this ask oops

(PS: i'm also reading Amended and I swear it would make such a good book. I know I'd buy it and recommend it to friends if it ever got published hehe )

Anyway, take care 💜

I wish I still had a reliable posting schedule I could give you! I used to have set days but now I’m mostly writing as I go which is a little slower. So I post in a rotation. I update all my stories weekly but sometimes that means Mon-Thurs and sometimes that means Wed-Sat. Just sort of depends when I’m able to steal my writing time. sometimes one story gets a bonus chapter. It’s really hard to predict, so sorry! But at least the answer is “I update frequently.” No worries though, I don’t feel pressured, I’m just glad you’re looking forward to more!

Binge-reading Lowlander sounds exhaaaausting, haha. It’s such a roller coaster of a story. So much happens. We all aged 3 years reading this story, lol.

I’m so flattered you like Amended too! To be honest, and I think I made a note about htis in the beginning, I just morally couldn’t bring myself to try and publish something that glorifies police, not with how morally corrupt and evil the police institution is in the United States. So if I tried to publish it, I’d need to change it up to give JK a different profession... which maybe I will! But I don’t know, I’m just having so much fun writing guilt-free and sharing with so many wonderful people. Hearing from so many who’ve said my writing has helped them on bad days or get through quarantine has been wonderful “payment” for me. My only real benefit to trying the publishing route as I see it would be that it’d be sweet if I could quit my job and just write these stories full time, haha

Anyway, thanks for your support and kind words!  💜 💜

[bettsfic]

the thing is that I don't want to abandon them, it's just that can't sit down and write, my brain is mush w/o ADHD meds, I can barely keep my grammar proper without a beta reader. It's been years with some works and struggling with them became part of my weekly routine, but if ppl r starting to notice, maybe I should just give my babies up? Not as 'revenge' or anything hahah I just don't want to keep ppl waiting and having a reputation doesn't feel good.1

I wrote this entire intricate murder mystery story that is secretly a choose your own adventure type of deal (the story is set, the options just change the character's personal outcome if that makes sense), but the reception has been overall negative because no one wants to 'get hurt again', so now I'm stumped and wondering whether or not I should just marie kondo my files and retire those stories. I guess I might have a real hoarding problem? Why am I using u as a diary? 2

You can skip the two previous lowkey freakouts if you want hahah I guess my question is: how can you tell it's time to give up? How do you know you have nothing else to offer to a story? If I do publish the outline, do you think it'll just kill the odds of me ever finishing it? How do you stop treating your stories as living, breathing individuals that can and WILL be hurt if you delete some of their files? 3

well first of all, i would never delete anything i write. i put old stuff into folders labeled “x abandoned” (so they show up at the bottom) or “delayed” if i’ve put them down but think i’ll come back to them eventually. 

it doesn’t bother me to abandon stuff anymore, because i always set things down for a reason, even if i’m not aware of it. i got 40k into a novel and put it down, and it took me over a year to realize it was structurally all wrong, and that i need to completely rewrite it with the new structure. 

i have a fic that’s maybe 10k, and it really just needs a polish before it’s postable, but i haven’t done that and it’s been over 2 years. it’s a post-canon fic for a show that isn’t over, and the next season comes out in 2022 or something like that, so i might pick it up again after next season and see if it’s worth salvaging.

i think what might be helpful is to go through your WIPs and see, not which ones you like most, but which are the most viable to complete. make a spreadsheet with all the titles of your wips in one column and the status of those wips in another. when you do this, you’ll probably see that a lot of things were good ideas but are not totally viable to complete, and those are the ones you can put in your delayed/abandoned folder. of what remains, you’ll find that you have your fics that were maybe too ambitious, and your investment in them is not higher than the labor it would take to complete them. those can go in the folder too. 

what’s left will be the stories you’ve put a lot of work into probably and that you care the most about. order those fics by closest to completion, and do an estimate of how long it would take you to complete them. 20 hours? 40? 80? and really think about if you want to put that work in. if yes, schedule time in advance to do it. one hour every morning on the wip that means the most to you. you may also consider capping the workload -- anything that would take you over 20 hours to complete, you should set aside.

i know adhd is working against you in this regard, and that might make tasks like this more difficult than they would otherwise be. i hope you’re able to get treatment, because that’ll make tasks like the ones i’ve described above a lot less arduous. what might help is to hang out with a friend (in person or online even) who can anchor you while you work and with whom you can talk while you make these decisions, and they can give you feedback on the things you should keep working on or set aside. 

your goal is to narrow your list to 1 to 3 wips with a max workload of 40 estimated hours.

this is very prescriptive advice, but i know a lot of writers with mile-long wip lists and this is the process i take them through to narrow them down. do not feel bad about setting things aside or abandoning them -- one day, your interest in them might return, and they’ll be there waiting for you. or, you’ll use what you learn from one abandoned project to sow seeds for a different project. you may take language, images, conflicts, and characterizations from an abandoned work to give life to a new work. i promise, nothing you make is ever wasted. 

i hope this helps. feel free to keep me posted!

[omgsomeonesomewhereonearth]

I know I can't stand you, but please stay anyway? (pt 1)

Patton hates lying. Patton never tells lies. Patton has told a massive lie. Ethan can’t stand Patton. He has no reason to ever help him. Except, of course, the most obvious one. A fake relationship, a family Christmas, and other shenanigans ensue.

Warnings: Sympathetic Deceit, Deceit’s name is Ethan in this fic, Christmas

Pairings: Established side prinxiety, eventual moceit (initially one sided, and I guess this is also technically enemies to lovers?)

I have been informed that it’s okay to start posting chapters for a Christmas themed fic in late November so I am

AO3 Link Pt 2

“And then I told her that me and my boyfriend would both love to come over for Christmas!”

“Well that was a wonderful decision that couldn’t possibly backfire, I’m sure,”

“What? Patton, what were you thinking?”

“Were you thinking? At all?”

“You totally screwed up.”

“I know, I know, it was a really stupid thing to do, but I’ve done it now and I made a big mess and I really need you guys to help me, please?” Patton knew was whining, but at this point he had lost any sense of shame, or propriety he’d ever had. “I’ve been telling my parents for ages about this supposedly great guy that I’ve been seeing, and how he’s apparently too busy for them to meet, and now they’re sick of waiting.”

The group was gathered at Ethan, Roman and Virgil’s apartment for their weekly movie night. Ordinarily, by now they’d already be thirty minutes into the Beauty and the Beast, but due to circumstances, his friends had had to watch Patton pace and moan about his mistakes instead. It was really a testament to how good a friend Roman was that he hadn’t been punched yet.

Patton messed up a lot. He wasn’t quite used to messing up this hard.

He just hated to disappoint people! So, when his mum had called him up three years ago and asked about his love life, he’d made up a silly harmless little tale about a guy he’d met and started seeing. He’d meant to tell his mum that they’d broken up eventually, but she just seemed so excited every time she brought it up! Over the years, they’d established that Patton’s boyfriend was very painfully shy and worked a lot.

As his roommate and longest standing best friend Logan had pointed out to him when he’d first confessed the dilemma, he really should have expected that his parents would eventually want to meet his mysterious significant other. Logan was very clever.

“So let me get this straight- “,

“Good luck with that” chorused Roman and Virgil. Patton had to take a break to think about how cute they were together.

“…Not only have you been lying to your dear mother and father for three years, you’re now asking one of your friends to join you in your deceptive plot by pretending to be your boyfriend? How very disappointing.”

…

Patton firmly reminded himself that if he couldn’t say anything nice, he shouldn’t say anything at all. Roman and Virgil’s incredibly aggravating roommate was a relatively new presence in their close-knit group, and not one that Patton was thrilled about.

Ethan was…snarky, to put it mildly. He had a flippant attitude towards everything and seemed to take pleasure in driving Patton up the wall. Most frustrating of all, you could never quite shake the feeling that behind the careless exterior, Ethan had some sort of secret motive, one that Patton could never seem to figure out but that he didn’t trust one bit.

He didn’t even particularly seem to like any of them and yet he insisted on tagging along whenever they hung out. If only he wasn’t so close with Virgil…

Ugh. Patton liked to think he was a nice person, but whenever Ethan looked at him with that infuriating smirk or said something sarcastic it became really hard for him to remember that.

But for now, he didn’t have time to be mad at Ethan. He had other problems.

“It’s just for one week.” He pleaded with his friends. “I’d call my parents up and tell them we broke up, I promise?”

Logan sighed. “I am afraid I cannot do it, since Patton and I have been friends since childhood. Patton’s parents already know me very well, and they would know immediately that we were conspiring to distort their reality.”

“Do you have to phrase it like that?!”

“Well, that is literally what you are suggesting Patton, regardless of whether you’re willing to admit to it.”

Ethan snorted at that and Patton counted to ten in his head.

He had really hoped that Logan could do it. They were best friends, his parents already adored him, and Patton didn’t even think he’d be that uncomfortable pretending to act all romantic with him in front of his parents. But Logan had a point. He always did.

“Roman? Virge? Please?”

Roman and Virgil turned to look at each other before answering.

“Sorry Padre, but it’s our first Christmas being together and Virgil and I have already made plans.”

Virgil shrugged apologetically at him and Patton immediately felt bad. How could he have forgotten?

To think, when they’d first met, the two silly kiddos couldn’t stand the sight of each other and now Virgil and Ro were practically inseparable. Patton was happy for them. He couldn’t help but think that he deserved just a teensy bit of credit for introducing them in the first place.

“Patton?” Logan’s voice broke him out of his thoughts. “What will you do now?”

“Huh? Oh… I don’t know, I guess I’ll just have to call my mum up and tell her the truth. Or something. I don’t really have any one else who I think would want to do it. I guess that’s what I get for telling a lie…”

“You haven’t asked me yet.”

Patton gawped at Ethan, who had been staring at his phone throughout the whole conversation. Was he serious? No. This was probably some cruel trick. He wanted Patton to ask him so that he could say no and laugh at him.

“I didn’t think you’d actually want to do it.”

Ethan rolled his eyes. “Well obviously I don’t want to do it. Honestly, I can think of few things that would be less appealing. However, one of those things happens to be spending the week alone while these two-“he jerked his thumb at Roman and Virgil – “are off making out in some cabin.”

“Does that mean you’ll help me?” Patton wasn’t sure what he wanted the other to say. On one hand it would solve his current problem. On the other hand, an entire week alone with Ethan and his family sounded like a whole bunch of problems on its own.

Ethan hummed as if he was considering it. Did he really have to be so infuriatingly calm when Patton was clearly freaking out?

“Oh, Patton, I don’t know how I could accept such a brash proposal, I’m a man of very high standards.”

Oh goodness, he was practically purring. Calling his mum and coming clean almost seemed appealing. Almost.

“Listen E, if you’re just gonna be a dick-“

“No, Virgil, it’s okay!” Patton hurried to calm down his friend. He was grateful that Virge was so quick to defend him, but he really couldn’t afford to annoy Ethan right now. As much as Patton hated to admit it, he desperately needed the snake’s help.

He mustered his bestest, friendliest, smile.

“Ethan, would you come to my parent’s house with me and pretend to be my boyfriend for the course of one week?”

Ethan tilted his head. What more did he want?

“Um… pretty please? With cherries on top?”

The grin that followed was practically wolfish. “Oh, alright, I suppose I could take a week out of my incredibly busy schedule to help out my dear friend.”

Roman looked confused “You were literally just talking about how you had nothing to do because Virgil and I were going out of town-“

“I do not understand the nature of your request Patton. Why would you be offering Ethan fruit in exchange for_”

As the group fell into their usual messy chatter, Patton fell into his thoughts. Ethan had agreed to help him. He hadn’t thought that the snake was capable of doing things that he had nothing to gain from.

No, wait. That was mean. Just because he’d never seen Ethan behave selflessly didn’t mean he was incapable of it. Patton didn’t have any right to judge him. After all, a person was innocent until proven guilty and Ethan hadn’t done anything to suggest that he had ulterior motives for helping him.

Besides, he thought, eyeing the tall man lying, stretched out on the floor. Ethan was – objectively – a perfect candidate for a fake boyfriend. He was (objectively!) very handsome and Patton had been to enough parties with him present to know that he could be charming when he wanted to be. He was intelligent – maybe not in the same way Logan was, but intelligent nonetheless. Maybe the week would be alright. He just needed to keep an eye on his unlikely saviour.

…

Roman pounced the minute Logan and Patton left the apartment.

“What are you doing?”

“… I beg your pardon?”

“Don’t play innocent, you slippery serpent! Since when do you have a soul?”

Was he meant to dignify that with a response?

Virgil snorted, leaning into his exuberant boyfriend, who pulled him into his lap without even breaking his ridiculous tirade. How revolting precious.

“Roman’s asking you why you’ve decided to do something for once that helps another person and poses no benefit to you whatsoever.”

Ethan needed new roommates.

“Exactly! And for Patton? The two of you don’t even like each other!”

Ethan was definitely rolling his eyes at Roman’s antics. He was definitely not doing his best to avoid Virgil’s knowing smirk. Furthermore, he had no idea why Virgil was grinning at him right now either.

“Cool your jets, Princey.” The aforementioned emo turned to wrap his arms around Roman’s waist and kiss his cheek. (Did they have to do this in front of him?) Turning to grin smugly at Ethan in between kisses, he continued, “I can assure you that in this instance E’s motives are entirely selfish.”

…And new friends. Ethan needed new roommates and a new best friend.

“What exactly are you talking about, my Dark and Stormy Knight?” (what the fuck did that even mean??) “Do the two of you know something that I don’t?”

And it was high time for Ethan to retreat to his room. Jumping to his feet, he grinned at Roman.

“I assure you that there is a number of things that we know and you don’t my dear prince.” He pretended not to notice Virgil frowning at the nickname. It was what he deserved anyway. “Why don’t you sit here and think about it-“

“Excuse me? I am not about to sit here and be criticised-“

“-And I will go catch up on my beauty sleep.”

Safe in his room, Ethan collapsed on the bed. His motives weren’t entirely selfish. And even if they were, so what? He would be helping Patton either way. Quality time with the little blue-eyed angel was really the least he deserved for his troubles.

He sighed, rubbing his eyes. He was going soft. There was a time when he’d mocked Virgil for the very same thing, when the emo had first started hanging out with Patton. Then he’d actually met the guy and it was Virgil’s turn to make fun of him.

It wasn’t his fault the other had been so adorably wary of him the first time they met, eyeing Ethan like he thought he’d pounce or something. He grinned to himself as he remembered the way Patton had squeaked, actually squeaked when the little blond puffball had offered his hand for a handshake and Ethan had kissed it instead. After that, how could Ethan possibly hold back? It was just a game at first. Flirting with Patton, making fun of him. Anything to coax out those ridiculously cartoonish reactions. He hadn’t meant to develop feelings.

And of course, it didn’t help that the object of his affections still didn’t entirely like or trust him. Patton and he had had many a “civil discussion” about ‘helping others’ and ‘telling the truth even when it’s difficult’. They’d consisted mostly of Patton talking about morals and Ethan thinking about how a person could be cute and ridiculously obnoxious at the same time.

And yet, he mused, all the moralising lectures seemed to be working, did they not? No matter how much he rolled his eyes and scoffed, he couldn’t deny that hearing Patton’s earnest little voice in the back of his head did make him want to do the so-called ‘right thing’ more often, and even if he was only helping people because he had a stupid crush on the most strait laced boy on the planet, who cared? The old ladies made it across the street in one piece either way.

Not that he agreed with everything Patton said. The difference was that when Patton looked at him like he was the bad guy, Ethan actually cared. That was a new feeling, for him.

In other words, he had it bad.

He had never been more glad that Virgil was not a mind reader.

…speaking of Virgil, if the noises coming from the front room were any indication, he really needed to start looking for a new place to live.

[derp-ology]

As a college kid who "swans in and begs for shifts" when I'm on break, let me tell you that you are not the only person in the world that needs money :)

The reason this particular post makes me so salty is because I had this exact situation. A little background - I am 19 and I have two jobs. Every cent of my college tuition that isn't paid for by loans and scholarships I have to pay for myself. My family would love to support me financially. But they're struggling immensly just to keep the roof over their heads, so they can't.

Over breaks, I come home and I work both jobs. I don't have the luxury of relaxing, spending good time with friends and family, catching up on schoolwork, or even just un-frying my brain. I work and I work and I sleep and I work.

It just so happens that I'm best friends with the daughter of one of my coworkers. This coworker is very much a bossy mother figure, but since I had that family-dynamic relationship with her before I worked with her, it didn't bother me. Over my spring break, I had asked my boss if I could open more often than working a day shift so I could have more than, you know, ONE HOUR in the day to be with my family. And my boss, being an angel, gave me a decent amount of hours, all but one shift being the opening one.

I had my best friend over to spend the night at like 1 am so we could get what little time we could together, and I found out that her mom. was. pissed.

She told me that earlier in the day, her mom had ranted about me "stealing" her shifts (she's the regular opener, but I should mention that SHE is the one that told me about this job, and I was trained by her TO ALSO BE AN OPENER) and how I'm not a good worker and I only make it harder for everyone else because their hours get cut when I come back. Not only was that upsetting because I had made it known from the start that it was my intention to work whenever I could, which includes my breaks from school, it was also really hurtful because this woman is someone that I viewed as a second mom. Her prattling about how I must be out to get her and that I don't do my job right, when I've done nothing but respect and love her since I met her, really f u c k i n g hurts!!!!! :))

That's just some backstory to my situation. I don't know who you are, but you have no idea what that girl could have on her shoulders. Does that make the burden on your shoulders any lesser? No! But you need to keep in mind that you get to work every week on a semi-regular, if not regular, schedule. That job could be the only job the girl has. In my case, I don't have a job at college because I don't have a car and I don't have time to work between class, homework, and club stuff. The income she gets from "taking" your shifts on her breaks could very well be the only income she gets, whereas you are on location and can work weekly as a regular, non-seasonal employee.

Tldr - other people have lives and expenses too and your coworkers have just as much of a right to work as you do.

My boss has been giving away my shifts to this girl who just swans in begging for shifts once she's home from Uni and I'm so mad? I need that god damn money, stop giving away half my god damn hours!