#can't promise I won't delete this one later

[pfhwrittes]

child free!reader thoughts that have been bubbling away in the brain soup document below the cut.

kyle garrick x gn!reader but with appearances from john price, john mactavish, simon riley and the beloathed brandon (who i've shamelessly stolen from @dragonnarrative-writes)

tags/warnings: pregnancy mention right at the end of the fic (not the reader character), fluff, vague allusions to eating at restaurants (non descriptive).

(banner by @/cafekitsune)

child free!reader who has "child free, that means i don't want kids - not even yours!" as the first line on their dating profile.

child free!reader who goes on a date with john price. he's charming, polite and funny. john tells you early doors that he misread your profile but he didn't want to be rude and cancel the date on short notice so he hopes you don't mind sharing a meal with him. you don't mind as he's good company and takes care of the bill like a gentleman and apologises for wasting your time. you part ways amicably and both wish each other well with the dating scene.

child free!reader whose next date is with john mactavish. he says he doesn't mind if you call him johnny. he's good company and makes you laugh so hard that other people in the restaurant look over at your table. you're having a great time but he brings up his flatmate simon an awful lot. you end up gently suggesting that maybe johnny would prefer to take simon out for dinner instead. johnny gapes at you like a fish for a minute before realising, that yeah, he really would. you exchange numbers at the end of the date and ask him to keep you in the loop with how things go with the mysterious simon.

child free!reader who goes on a date with brandon. it's a crap date. he's late, doesn't apologise, presumes you want to head back to his place and gets annoyed when you pull the brakes on the whole thing. brandon then tells you that he doesn't care any way as he has to pick up his kid from their mum's house in the morning. you leave him to foot the bill and call johnny on your way home to complain about how crap the date was and how you should never have agreed to go on a date that your friend vouched for.

child free!reader who goes out to brunch with johnny and simon the following weekend. you spend a good portion of the brunch watching johnny lean up against simon with a little smile on your face and waggle your eyebrows knowingly when simon steps outside to smoke a cigarette. when simon rejoins you both, you tell them how you're considering deleting your dating profile and embracing singledom forever. simon makes you promise to keep your profile for at least another three days which is weirdly specific but you agree.

child free!reader who gets a message on the dating profile from kyle garrick two days later. you're pretty blunt about not wanting kids and how you won't change your mind and neither are you looking for some short term fling. despite that, kyle is friendly, funny and a little bit flirty over messages so you agree to go out on a date with him. he's even prettier in person than in his photos. kyle is flirty without being pushy, asks you questions about your hobbies without prompting, and he admits that it was simon that gave him a gentle push to message you when you explain that a friend stopped you from deleting your profile before agreeing to go on a date with him.

child free!reader who agrees to go on a second date with kyle after he tells you that he got a vasectomy at 21 because he knew even then that he never wanted to be a dad.

child free!reader that messages the group chat you have with simon and johnny absolutely gushing about kyle's eyes, arms and smile. johnny replies with endless eggplant emojis and simon sends a singular thumbs up.

child free!reader that after four fantastic dates (and one mind blowing night together) decides to delete their dating profile after kyle sleepily mumbles into your neck about wanting to be exclusive.

(and a little bonus scene that i just can't scrap)

child free!reader who goes as kyle's plus one to john price's wedding a year later and you both laugh yourselves silly when you tell your boyfriend that you went out on a very nice date with the groom once upon a time. you toast the bride with matching flutes of a non-alcoholic mocktail as she rests her hand on her very pregnant stomach at the sweetheart table she shares with her new husband.

[varesai]

SEEING YOU TONIGHT....

...it's a bad idea, right?

aventurine x fem! reader - in which you're his ex who, after seeing again, felt a desire to have back.

giyssssssss im feeling motivated to write again i feel great!!!!!!!!!!! busy busy weekend tho so idk how much more i can write hmm... but i'm going based off of song titles now lol. btw i deleted all of my past drafts and requests, so if u want something written, please request a song u want to hear with a character/scenario

exes to whatever is inbetween exes and lovers, one suggestive comment at the end, fem reader

he saw you at the bar last night, and that did it for him.

he knew it was wrong, and he shouldn't feel attracted to you anymore. but oh, the way you shine, how prominent your curves look in that gorgeous white dress. it makes him regret that he ever left you.

but you were thinking the same. he looked older now, he looked like he matured a little bit. you found him really attractive, but you were too ashamed to admit that when your friend prodded at your side, asking you what you were looking at.

you had no choice but to brush her off. she was the one who knew about aventurine, the one who had been there for you during the breakup, and the one who doesn't do anything but shittalk his name when he's brought up. that would be a betrayal to her if you were to give into your thoughts.

soon enough, your friend caught on, a dissapointed look on her face.

"seriously, y/n? why are you staring at him as if you just found the love of your life? do you remember what he put you through???"

she shook you by the shoulders and took you off the dance floor before sitting you down at a booth in the back corner of the building.

"you can't get back with him. you're going to get hurt all over again."

you sighed, understanding where she's coming from. you remember everything, all of the details in perfect order, but still are thinking about approaching him.

a couple hours later, the bar was mostly empty. your friend went home, bored of staying in the same place. you promised her you'd get back safe and not have too many drinks, so she bid you farewell and left.

there were a couple patrons left, mostly just drunkards laying wasted on the bar counters and the tables. but one thing you did notice, is that aventurine never left.

you both made eye contact, accidentally staring for a second too long before you turned your head away and pulled your phone out, pretending to distract yourself.

you soon heard footsteps inching closer to the table you were sitting at. you closed your phone and saw aventurine, leaning over your table, his arms planted on the tabletop for support. he gave you a sly smirk and you just kept looking up at him.

"do you need something?" was the only thing that would leave your mouth in that moment. you tried to tell him to back away, leave you alone, but that wasn't what your heart wanted.

"just came to say hi. i saw your stare all night. you weren't very sneaky."

you weren't really trying to be sneaky at all. this was what you wanted to happen. he knew that better than you did.

he soon cleared his throat to break the silence, before continuing to speak.

"but i won't deny, i was looking at you too. i'm sure we have the same intentions."

you looked away. you're also sure that you have the same intentions- those to hook back up. maybe it would betray your friend, maybe it would betray the people who helped him through the breakup, but you didn't care. you were only thinking about yourself right now. and so was he.

"i'm sure we do, aventurine," you decided not to engage too much, not now. you wanted to see where this conversation went. with a smirk plastered on your face, you continued to speak. "but why me?"

he gave his signature chuckle. you knew why he picked you out of every single woman who filtered through this bar tonight. but you wanted to see how far he'd allow you to take the conversation while answering with honesty.

"well, i already know everything there is to know about you. we're exes, not strangers. and plus, i've never not found you attractive. i'd assume we've both changed and matured over the past couple years, and i don't know if i'll be able to see you again after tonight anyway, so why not take my shot?"

good point. he usually went out for business a lot, and you were on the move a bunch for your work, too. so it was rare that you'd end up in the same place.

"fair enough."

you grabbed the collar of his dress shirt, one you'd grown farmiliar with seeing whenever he'd come home from a long mission, and smashed your lips into his. you don't know what took you over, but it was definitely not your brain thinking.

he didn't pull away. instead, he deepened the kiss, turning it into a full blown makeout. you gasped into his lips before closing your eyes, drowning in the moment. it felt so good to finally be back to him. it felt even better to know that you still have a place in his heart.

the kiss felt like it went on for ages before it was broken apart, a string of saliva connecting you two for a split second before splitting as well. you were shocked and out of breath, unable to do anything but stare at him, a content grin on your face. you snapped out of it after aventurine started to talk once more.

"well, how nice. i'm sticking around for the next couple weeks. meet me back here tomorrow night, same place? maybe we can take it to the sheets."

[yangbbokari]

Skz As Toxic Cheating Men

Pairing: OT8/skz x fem!reader A.N.: Don't ask this just randomly came to mind

CHAN - Who'll make you believe that he's so kind-hearted but will do an entire 180 when he gets you where he wants you - Who'll victim blame all the time - "But, Baby... If you would have loved me more I wouldn't seek for it in other people." - Who'll coax you into forgiving him, which you do, and the cycle begins

MINHO - Who won't hesitate cheating on you from the start - You could be the other woman and wouldn't know - Who begs for you back and you forgive him each and every single time - Who your family doesn't approve of but they don't even know what's good for you, right? - (Or at least that's what Min told you) - Who makes sure you don't find out about the fling he's having with one of your friends right now - "Don't worry about her, baby. You're all I want."

CHANGBIN - Who is the most manipulative type - Who won't allow you to meet other people and you must be with him all the time - Who doesn't allow you to have any social media when you guys begin dating - Who always has your phone and limits your usage of it - Who claims its for your own safety because after all he has these muscles for a reason - Who will disappear after you fall asleep to hook up with a random girl - Who you'll wake up beside in the morning with kiss marks on his shirts collar but you choose to ignore it like you always do - "Why are you staring baby?"

HYUNJIN - Who breaks it to you softly just to do it again - Who promises you he's a changed man but we all know that's a lie(except you) - Who likes to string you along like a puppet - Who secretly deletes all the chats between you and any male relation because he can definitely cheat but you can't - Who tells you he does it for fun and will come back to you at the end of the day anyways - "I don't know why you're making such a big deal out of this. It's not even that serious."

JISUNG - Who makes an entire scene when you confront him about it - Who refuses to admit to his adultery - Who in the end turns the entire situation on you - Who will purposefully send you explicit things that’s going on between him and his fling just to get you riled up - Who denies that that’s him in the video - Who basically tells you that you no longer satisfy him so it’s only fair that he finds it elsewhere - “I would never cheat and you know it. If I did then it must be because of you.”

FELIX - Who does it discreetly - Who tells his entire friend group and about the other woman and then “accidentally” sends you a text - Who proceeds to say the text wasn’t meant for you - Who gets violent when you ask him about it later on - Who slaps you across the face when he catches you searching his phone - Who threatens you he’ll break-up with you if you continue with your “nonsense” - “Why can’t you just trust me!? Never touch my phone again!”

SEUNGMIN - Who begins cheating and gets wary about you - Who will constantly cheat even in your own house - Who brings random girls at night when you’re working the night-shift - Who tells you it’s not him when your friend sends a picture of him kissing a girl at a bar - Who then begins questioning you - Who asks you if you’re the one cheating because cheaters are always worried about their partners cheating when deep down he knows he’s talking about himself - Who gets jealous when he sees you talking to a coworker - Who deletes all your male contacts and blocks them on your socials too - Who thinks you’re cheating on him too because it’s only right for you to be doing that or he wouldn’t be doing it to you - “I bet you’re fucking cheating on me! We all know you’re a fucking slut anyways!”

JEONGIN - Who claims that he just didn’t know it was wrong - Who uses his puppy eyes and says that he truly didn’t mean to - Who says it was the woman who seduced him and he’d never do that to you - Who claims he’ll never do it again - Who’s cheating on you the week after that - Who smiles at is phone like a teenager and says that its his sister when you ask - Who knows he’s caught in a lie when he says so since he only has brothers - Who begins crying hysterically and claiming that it’s just because he’s been so lonely when you’re gone - Who plays victim until you fall into his trap again - “But you love me, don’t you, noona? If you really love me you’ll forgive me, right?” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A.N.: Y’all notice how each member’s got longer. Yeah I got a little carried away

[marshallsgirl]

Don't leave part 2

Pairing: Eminem x Fem¡Reader

Warnings: 🔞 MATURE READ AT YOUR OWN RISK

Recommended song: The One - Kodaline

Author's note: I'm working on my graduation final project, that's why I haven't been so active lately. I wrote this and I don't know how I feel about it.  I may delete it later or idk. Hope you all enjoy it. I love you guys so much! Sending all of you a warm hug🫂🤍

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January 14th, 2006

It's pretty late at night. I'm watching the news when once again I have to run to the bathroom. I'm throwing up again. I'm feeling sick. I can't even explain why I felt like doing this but...I'm taking a pregnancy test. I bought one earlier this morning but I couldn't do it. I was too scared. But I'm doing it now. I can't be pregnant. I mean...it would be nice to be...No, I am not pregnant. That thing is going to be negative!

The news reporter started to talk. Maybe it got my attention cause they played a song in the background. An Eminem's song.

"Today January 14th at 5pm Eminem and Kim got married for the second time around their fifteen anniversary. Kim said to People Magazine: 'Marshall wanted to do it because it was our fifteenth year together from our original day we started going out'. They repeated their vows from their first marriage..."

As the reporter is talking I'm looking down at my pregnancy test and I found the word "pregnant". And I started to cry. I've been waiting a long time for this moment but it isn't how I imagined it. I just found out that I'm pregnant and that my baby's daddy is married again. Even knowing this I feel the need to call Marshall. But I can't do that. He's probably on his honeymoon right now. He is probably spending such a great time being a family again. I know he did all of this for Hailie's happiness. I know he is trying hard to put his family back together. I can't call him.

So I called Proof.

"Oh, you saw the news, didn't you?"

"No...I mean yes, but I'm not calling about that" I said trying to control my tears.

"Are u okay? What happen?" I could tell he was concerned.

"Well...I kinda need an advice, man"

"Why? What did you do?"

"Nothing...I just..."

"Hey, y/n you can talk to me. We're good friends, aren't we? I don't care what happened between you and Marshall. You and I, girl. We can still be friends"

That made me lost control of my tears.

" Yo, y/n what happen?"

"Man, I'm pregnant" I confess. "Proof, I don't know what to do. I just found out that I am and I saw the fuckin' news..."

"Wait what that...you pregnant? Is it..." he didn't finish the question

"Yes, of course it's Marshall's"

"Shit...you got to tell him, y/n"

I knew he would say that, but I was hoping to be wrong.

"No, I can't do that to him"

"You know him, y/n. If you don't tell him he is gonna hate you"

"I know he deserves to know but he just got married and I know he wants to be happy with his family"

"So? I mean, he can be happy with them and at the same time he can take care of your baby, his baby. I know he'll want to be a responsable dad. You have to tell him"

"Proof, please I just can't...I'm too scared"

"Y/n, I want you to hang off the phone and call Marshall right now"

I needed time. Maybe tomorrow I'll be more brave. But saying this to Proof won't work.

"Listen, I'm going to do a blood test tomorrow just to be extra sure. Okay? If it is positive I'll call him right away"

"If you don't call him by tomorrow afternoon, I'll do it"

"Please, don't. I promise you, I'll call him".

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The blood test confirmed that I'm pregnant. But when I tried to contact Marshall he didn't answered his phone. So, I called Proof and he planned a reunion for us at Marshall's studio.

"Y/n?" he said when he saw me. "Are u looking for Proof? He'll be here soon, actually I'm waiting for him" he added.

"He's not coming. It's me who you are waiting for. I called you but you didn't answerd so..."

"I'm married" he said rapidly

"I know, Marshall. I just need to tell you something important"

"Go on then. I need to go back to my family, you know" it was something weird in the way he said that, like it was something he had to say it to believe it. I can explain it, I just know him too much. But I didn't ask him about it. So, I extended my hand to him. Letting him know that he needed to grab the paper (the blood pregnancy test) that was on my hand. He read it and then looked at me shocked.

"Is this some kinda joke?" he asked. "Why are u doin' this?"

"I am pregnant, Marshall. And listen I just thought you deserved to know. Even Proof told me that I should tell you 'cause if I didn't you'll hate me forever". I started to say. "I know you think I'm doin' this 'cause I want us to be back together but I promise you I'm not. I would never do something like this to make you leave your family".

"You really are pregnant...How long? How are you feeling?"

Now I could tell he was concerned.

" I don't know how many weeks I am. I just found out that I am pregnant, so I have no idea. And I've been feeling sick"

"Let's take you to the doctors then"

So we made a prenatal appointment.

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"The baby is 7 week and 1 day!" said the doctor.

I looked at Marshall's face. It looked like he was counting.

"So, you got pregnant on november 2005..." said Marshall as we both realized that my pregnancy started on the day he left me.

"Which means the due date is September 1st" the doctor told us.

"Oh, a virgo baby!" I said.

"Is it just one or there is more than one?" Marshall asked. I could tell he was really curious.

"I can answer that next week. The next appointment will be an ultrasound appointment, okay?"

I saw Marshall's face lighting up.

"Oh my! Our first ultrasound appointment?" I couldn't wait for that. That's exciting! I'll get to see my baby for the first time.

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In the car on the way back to y/n's home.

"Did you tell Kim about me? I mean, about me being pregnant" I asked. I was really curious to know if she got a certain reaction. But "no" was the only answerd Marshall gave me.  "So, are u going to hide this from her?"

"I don't want to talk about it right now. Let's get you something to eat" he said.

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Time went by and Marshall finally told me that things were not good between Kim and him. He assure me that it had nothing to do with me or my pregnancy. Then he mentioned the word "divorce", but made it very clear that he wasn't doing it because of me.

"I'm really happy you are pregnant, y/n. But now it's not the time for me to be in a relationship" he said.

"Are you going to tell me what happened? It must had been something really serious. I mean, you got re-married and now just three month later you want a divorce"

"I trust you, but I really don't wanna talk about it. Can we talk about the baby?"

"What exactly you want to talk about?" I wonder

"Do you feel it's a boy or a girl?"

I really didn't know how to answer that. I've done all the things to predict the sex of the baby and it's pretty even. I mean, I got 50% girl and 50% boy. So, I have no idea.

"They'll call me soon to tell me my results on the last exams I did and they could tell me the sex you know"

"Are you going to surprise me?" he asked and then leave a kiss on my belly. We're both laying in bed. I was to tired to do the normal things I do like cook and clean. And Marshall volunteer to help me. I couldn't say no. For real, even if I say no he would probably throw me to bed and lock me in my room.

"Yeah, I'm going to surprise you. I don't know how yet but I'll do it".

"Okay, then I'mma go buy you something to eat. Any cravings?"

"Can you get me some donuts?"

"Yeah, I'll be back soon" he says and before he leaves he press his lips on my belly once again. "Love you" he added.

"The baby loves you too" I said.

"I love you, too y/n" he says letting me know that  he said it for both of us, the baby and me. He is driving me crazy. I don't understand him. And people say women are the complicated ones. He doesn't want to be in a relationship and that's why he is getting divorce. So, I think he comes to see me and do shit for me just because the baby but then he is telling me he love me?

"Hey! I said I love you, y/n" he was already by the bedroom door. I know he won't leave unless I say it back.

"Stop it! You are going to get me all horny and shit"

"You’re horny preggers, aren’t you?" he says walking towards the bed.

"I’m fat and horny. It’s disgusting."

" Nah, you could be 300 pounds I’d still do you".

Maybe it's because I'm hormonal but I'm touched and I start crying.

"You're so fuckin' romantic" I say

He sitting by the edge of the bed now. He is touching my belly. His touch is soft. I want to say that I love him. But, honestly I'm just to scared to do that.

"I feel it's a boy. And I can't wait to see the way you're with him. You're gonna be incredible"  he says "I love you, y/n" he assures me.

"I'm nervous..." I manage to say

"I'm nervous too"

"No, you are not!" I replied

"Y/n, I'm not divorce yet... The truth is I'm just waiting for that to be done so I can...so that we can try to do this right. You're my home and I'm sorry it took me a lot of shit to finally understand that. You've always been there for me. I've always came back to you, every fuckin' time. I was so stupid. I'm truly sorry. I promise you I'll never ever hurt you again. I won't leave you. I promise for as long as we're together, to never, ever put you through anything like that again."

"Marshall..."

"Wait, I know it's going to be difficult almost impossible for you to forgive me, but please try. Please, y/n. 'Cause I miss you a lot and I love you even more. You don't have to say it back, though. You don't have to say nothing at all right now. I completly get it". when he finished he got up and left the room really quick. He didn't give me time to express myself.

"I love you, Marshall" I said to the nothingness.

A moment later my phone starts to ring. It's my doctor. She started to tell me about my result and how everything was normal and that I need more vitamin C and then she said:

" This also tell us the sex of the baby. Would you like to know?"

"Yes!"

"Would you like me to tell you over the phone or..."

"Over the phone it's okay" I didn't even let her finish her question. I was to excited!

"Over the phone it's okay?"

"Yes"

"Okay, let me open it up...Alright it looks like you are having a baby boy!"

Omfg! I'm crying, now. Marshall was right! Oh, man I'm having a boy!

"Omg, thank you!" I manage to say

"Congratulations!" said my doctor before ending the phone call.

I couldn't wait to tell Marshall. I needed to surprise him. So, I figurate out a way to do so. I grab a white mug, his favorite mug actually (and it's not his but mine). But okay, it's his favorite. And I wrote inside at the buttom of it: "it's a boy". Then I prepared him a mixed berry smoothie.

He came back just in time.

"Here, try this" I said giving him the mug.

"What are you doing out of bed? Why are you holding my mug? What is this?"

"Marshall, just drink it! It's a mixed berry smoothie and...it has the sex of our baby!"

And just as I finished to say that he started to drink it. He finished in seconds! And as soon as he read what was inside, he ran to put the mug on the table and then ran back to hug me and lift me in his arms.

"Marshall, we're having a boy!" I got my arms around his neck. Enjoying that moment. I was crying but all happy tears.

"Yes! Oh my God, what the fuck! Life is crazy!" He kept saying this words. He was really happy too.

"God is so beautiful!"

"I told you! I knew it was a boy! I fuckin' told you!" He said as he put me down.

"Holy shit, I know that's crazy!"

He knelt in front of me and kissed my belly and then said:

"I knew you were in there the whole time. I love you, son"

[koji-haru]

What gave you the inspiration to make your AU?

Short answer? I'm delusional lmao.

Honestly, I was just bored during summer and thought, "why not get back to writing again?". I wasn't actually planning on staying long, like maybe write a few chapters and then dip and maybe delete the account once I'm bored. But here I am still, lol.

For the time travel au, I answered this before in another ask, but I just made my own version of @ironbatpaperturtle's time travel au since they deactivated and I really really wanted a continuation of that au. That, and I was just reading a couple of revenge stories, and as much as I love it, I also hated it when the authors usually make the mc not go through their revenge plot - 'revenge is bad' blah blah blah and then they get the bad end of the stick even though they were the initial victim. So, if you noticed with how I wrote the first parts of the time travel au, I made Adam very adamant and determined with his goals (he still is even in the latest chapters, even though he feels less worthy of the garden now). Now, I'm not saying the way I wrote Adam makes him a 'victim', my guy didn't even bother and try to maybe be friends with both Lucifer and Lilith in his second life. He's just a hater, and yes, that's a flaw, I'm not excusing it. I mean, at the start he was just cozying up to Mike to have a backup just in case things go bad. He does soften up in later chapters though.

Essentially, what I'm trying to say is that I mainly wanted a story not necessarily heavy on plot, but more so on the mc's development as a person.

For the swap au, well, I just love a good old role reversal story. It's just fun. Also, I'm not sure if anyone has noticed, but *kinda spoiler-ish* the swap au is, in a way, like the opposite of the time travel au. In what way? I won't elaborate lol. But it's fun! I love creating 'foils'; either for characters, developments, themes, or even whole stories. So, I guess, in a weird egoistic way, my own time travel au inspired me to write the swap au?

Honestly, I can't really properly answer what inspired me to write my aus. At the simplest reason, I just wanted to convey a theme or a feeling. That's how I usually start writing. Maybe I listen to a song, read a poem, see a nice picture, feel something, etc. Like I could be walking and something random would inspire me and I would just quickly make a note of 'the feeling' in my phone. Like one time I was on the bus and I thought the gloomy sky with the sun behind dark grey clouds looked pretty cool at that moment. It kind of reminded me of a hole in the sky, somewhat like a portal or a signal to the world ending, so I took note of that and now I have another story in the drafts (I don't think I'll ever get to it though, with how busy I am).

Sounds really lame, but I write to make an atmosphere, I guess? I just want to capture that sensation permanently into writing; doesn't matter if it's negative or positive or neither, I want it saved forever. So anything inspires me really, from the most random tunes to the prettiest words, and then I just piece them all together. I don't really have a singular inspiration.

What keeps me writing? I'm just too stubborn to leave things unfinished. There's also the fact that I'm currently obsessed with Adam lol.

On a somewhat related note, 'Birds of a Feather' by Billie Eilish really suits the time travel au.

So... Time travel au -> a soft, blooming change from within Swap au -> more like a crashing, unwanted change Promises au -> lonely people finding comfort with each other (I was probably just feeling lonely when I thought of this au tbh)

I'm not sure I answered your question properly, but, eh I tried. Really, I'm not artsy enough to draw proper, solid inspirations, I'm just a delusional student who's heavy into STEM - so no imagination at all lol.

Did I go off topic? Yes, multiple times. Did I answer your question, anon? Most likely not, sorry.

[jace-duh]

hc for my rook x Davrin having a kid (besides Assan)

an: hi. i know i said i wasn't gonna do something like this again, but i lied. i have no clue where i got this idea, but here it is. this is after the game takes place, and there will be a spoiler. and for context, my rook is ftm trans. any and all transphobia and homophobia will not be tolerated and will get deleted and blocked. sorry this is so long.

head canons (and the spoiler) below the cut.

general:

rook and Davrin have a baby girl and name her Ophielia. dgaf, that's the name they chose.

the baby is somehow a perfect 50/50 split of them looks wise.

the team was ECSTATIC when they all found out. i mean, throws a huge baby shower with all the factions kind of ecstatic.

everyone was floored when the found out, but more on that later.

Harding dies in my canon, but we all know she would've been an amazing auntie.

Rook and Davrin are gentle parents. they definitely teach their daughter to be respectful. but don't think she can't and won't defend herself. (she gets her sass from Rook, and will not hesitate to kick someone's ass.)

Jace "Rook" De Riva

kiddo calls him dad.

was absolutely shocked when he found out that he was pregnant. i mean, he really shouldn't have been because we all know that elves are plucky breeders, him and Davrin go at it like rabbits.

admittedly panicked and went to Emmrich, who told him to go to an actual doctor.

decided to keep the baby, although was a bit nervous about stopping hormones. went back on them as soon as the baby was born.

absolutely SOBS when him and Davrin get gifts for the baby and always tells everyone that it's happy tears.

one time, he saw Assan do something cute and cried for an hour.

this guy absolutely gets annoyed (although he doesn't show it) whenever someone helps him. then he will immediately take nap after he's finished a chore.

wants the baby to have a matching stuffed animal, so he goes out and finds the EXACT same stuffed animal as his childhood stuffed animal for her. did not give his up though, cannot and will not part with that thing.

he's a side sleeper, so he gets one of those pillows that let him sleep on his side.

my Rook and HoF are cousins, so he went to my warden for parenting tips because him and Zevran have kids.

calls Davrin a dilf every five minutes.

he was so unbelievably nervous about having a kid after growing up in the Crows, but promised himself that he was going to give this kid the best childhood he could.

celebrates when he finds out that his daughter beat up a guy for being a creep.

Davrin

poor man felt terrible for getting Rook pregnant but was over the moon when he was told that Rook wanted to keep the baby.

definitely built his and Rooks house, so it's guaranteed that he built all of the furniture and everything. the house is big enough for him, Rook, the kid, Assan, and any other pets. (may or may not have carved little griffons into the baby's furniture.)

he was so prepared to have a kid after Assan. total dad material.

Davrin goes above and beyond for both Rook and their daughter, which has definitely earned him some teasing from Lucanis, Evka, and Antoine.

chose the name for the baby, Ophelia.

this motherfucker is cheesy, and hums to the baby while Rook is pregnant.

also sings to Ophelia.

convinces Rook to get a mabari, although that wasn't hard. literally only had to say, "let's get a mabari."

takes Ophelia on picnics with Assan and the dog. says it was Antoine and Evka's idea. (it was actually his.)

takes naps with Ophelia on his chest when she's a baby. his chesticles are a perfect baby pillow.

also calls Rook a dilf every five minutes.

he gets called pops.

Taash

has to make a conscious effort to NOT crush the baby when they first meet her. (Taash totally gets bad cuteness aggression and that is not talked about enough.)

definitely has a shirt that says, "#1 themcle" (them and uncle) and wears that shit loud and proud.

"HAVE YOU SEEN MY NIECE?" and "MY NIECE IS BETTER THAN YOURS."

wants to take the kid dragon hunting immediately and is told that they have to wait until the kid is older.

Taash definitely made Ophelia (again, the kids' name) a total dragon nerd.

gets sad sometimes because they know Harding would've loved this kid.

#1 cheerleader outside of Rook and Davrin.

they take Ophelia out to the Rivain Coast to feed the birds.

Taash and Isabella teach the kid how to do a proper pushup.

Neve Gallus

COOL WINE AUNT. totally lets Ophelia have wine when they hang out.

totally takes Ophelia shopping because, "i will not let my niece have a bad fashion taste."

uses the cutest nicknames ever. Lia, Opie, Fee. and not just nicknames based on the name either. think of any cute nickname and she probably uses it.

also uses "Baby Rook" as a nickname, too.

girls day with Ophelia and Bellara are a must.

skin care QUEEN. Rook is great with skin care, but Neve is at a whole new level.

her and Lucanis actually got pregnant around the same time as Rook and Davrin.

the two kids are besties.

Bellara Lutare

BELLARA IS LITERALLY THE SWEETEST AUNTIE EVER.

i feel like she would be really good with kids.

is so so so happy to have a family again. having a baby around helps her heart heal after seeing Cyrian die for a second time.

for sure accompanies Neve and Ophelia on shopping sprees. tells the kid to just wear what she wants because it doesn't matter if other people like it.

gets Ophelia into writing and journaling, but is pleasantly surprised when Ophelia starts scrapbooking.

her, Ophelia, and Rook scrapbook together on fridays.

is such a huge help when Ophelia gets her first period. not that Rook didn't know anything, but Bellara is a good deescalator.

Lucanis Dellamorte

bad influence, but in the best way possible.

"oh, you're getting bullied? kill them."

has to argue with Spite and tell him that that's a bad idea to do with a kid. but he does find some of Spite's ideas funny. (will be caught dead before admitting that out loud.)

did scare Ophelia one time when she was a baby. it was funny at first, but then he felt bad.

definitely tries to take Ophelia on a contract with him when she's like 5, but that was a hard no from Rook and Davrin.

Lucanis is so like Zevran, and will tell the kid stories about his contracts. (in the kid friendliest way possible.)

Emmrich Volkarin

go to babysitter.

also great with kids.

gives the best advice to Ophelia.

when Rook told him that he was pregnant, Emmrich bolted to tell the group.

but then had an oh shit moment and made something up on the spot.

him and Strife dote over the baby every. single. day.

totally has Manfred make toys for Ophelia.

tells Ophelia that having too many sweets can be bad but ends up eating a shit ton of cookies and brownies with her.

Teia Cantori and Viago De Riva

Viago is so excited to be an uncle.

"Uncle Vi" and "Auntie T"

Viago was the first to give Rook and Davrin baby gifts. got them so much.

i'm talking baby clothes, soft blankets, toys... everything.

Teia told Viago that he was going overboard, but she helped pick everything.

"Teia, my baby brother is having a baby."

they both definitely have a room in their respective homes dedicated to that baby.

much like Neve, these two are absolutely spoiling the kid with both items and love and affection. (so are all of them, to be honest.)

Viago is the first to meet the baby.

[markthekng]

Hey non-tiktok users on Tumblr, especially the non-Americans that want to be kept in the loop. Let me tell you about the bullshit going on cause I made the mistake of drinking two cups of coffee before bed and am livid.

For years, our government has been shouting about banning TikTok for being a Chinese app. Trump has been the one to start the argument, claiming TikTok was a security risk.

The United States Congress has been blatantly racist to the TikTok CEO, claiming Singapore isn't real because they've never heard of it and insisting that he is a member of the Chinese Communist Party. During this time, the CEO was also making posts about how he supported free speech and the world needed free speech.

We have been asking as soon as we heard the ban would take affect what would happen. We got nothing from the creators of TikTok. We had people theorize that it would slowly fade from existence, but no mention of what was actually to come.

On Saturday, January 18th, TikTok went dark, claiming that the ban was in effect and that the creators would be working with the future trump administration to get the app back. Two hours before the promised time. No one could get in, no one could do anything. We didn't even get to say goodbye.

Then, January 19th it's back up, claiming that "President Trump" brought it back. This is bizarre. Why? Trump isn't president yet, he has no power to bring back an app yet. Yet the pop up claims we have him to thank.

The pop up in question:

But whatever, everyone is happy to be back right? Wrong.

For starters, Lives are banned. We cannot access the part of the platform that encouraged activism and protests and allowed those who couldn't attend protests to show their support. It won't directly tell you you can't access lives, it will give you a pop up error and tell you to try later. There is no later, it doesn't work.

Then we get into the political aspect. The CEO is a bootlicker. Because as soon as we came back, he made a video praising "President Trump" for "fighting for Tiktok" he thanked the man who started the fire for putting it out. Then of course, meta platforms also seem to have accounts now on TikTok, and they are being pushed heavily to the users.

But how about the people speaking up, that's the thing, you have to tiptoe. You can have as many anti-biden or Kamala tags you want, but no longer can you create anti trump, Elon, Zuckerberg, or any fascist or CEO tags in videos. And as for the contents? Well, a lot of users have been getting shadow banned for saying things. Comments on videos speaking out against oligarchies and fascists are being hidden or deleted before the video creator can approve of them or delete them themselves.

This has affected me too. I made one video to a song with only text, no tags, and a caption about patriotism. This video had no problems other than the expected struggle with reach. The other, I made a joke about how everything feels forced and like someone is being controlled with the caption "Something ain't right, I'm going back to cat videos on xhs" and immediately the video was put under review.

The video, which never got the chance to reach the public:

The American public is being censored and propagandized. We do not support Donald Trump no matter what videos show up. Our fyp is soulless and refuses to show us anything that might stir an opinion against their funding principle. Billionaires are controlling our narrative and trying to rewrite it to make themselves look like the good guys. We are not okay and our main source of spreading social and political information is now being censored. The app is also slow and wonky , and anyone who deleted it during the "ban" isn't getting it back. No one is happy, but there's no one to listen.

[queerfables]

Several Sentences Sunday

Tagged by @iphyslitterator. This is from my au fic where Tommy is the villain, but I picked this section for you because I feel like its Buck/Tommy vibes are still really good. Without giving too much away, Tommy is being authentic with the feelings he's expressing, but he has some seriously distorted thinking about his past that is gonna inform his future with Buck.

No pressure tagging: @aroeddiediaz @glorious-spoon @asexual-fandom-queen @uttermywish @decadent-prince

---

"Is it true?"

"Evan..."

"Is. It. True?"

"That's not the whole story."

"I can't even look at you. Get out."

"No, wait - "

"You know what? Stay. I'll go."

He grabbed his keys and slammed the door behind him.

His phone vibrates in his pocket, making him jump. It's a scam message from someone pretending to be his bank, complete with a misspelling in his last name.

Below it, there's a notification telling him he has one new voice mail. The call must have come through while he was driving, circuitous blocks with no destination in mind. Buck's thumb hovers between listen and delete.

It's just the one message. That has Buck off kilter, and he doesn't know why. Maybe he expected Tommy to fill up his memory bank with pleading and apologies, or the angry rantings of the guilty and caught. But it's just the one message, sent only ten minutes after he'd left, and it's that more than anything that has him pressing play.

"Uh. Hey," Tommy says, rough like he's holding back tears. "Listen, Evan, I didn't mean to chase you out of your own house. I can - I'm gonna go, okay? I'll lock up behind me, I know you took your keys. You need time, I get it, we can talk later. Or..."

His voice cracks.

"Or not, if that's what you want. Just, please be safe, okay? I know how you get when you're upset. Don't crash your car because of something I did. I couldn't - I couldn't - shit."

The phone crackles, but doesn't cut out. Buck thinks maybe Tommy moved it away from his face. He waits through fifteen seconds of silence, trying not to think about Tommy crying on the other end of the line. When his voice comes back, it's calmer again.

"I know you might not listen to this, and that's okay. But if you do, can you just... send me something. Anything. So I know you're okay. That's all I'm asking for. I promise I won't try to talk before you're ready. And I'm - I'm grabbing my stuff now. I'll be gone when you get back."

One final hesitation.

"I love you, Evan."

The call ends.

Buck swipes a hand over his face and takes a deep, shuddering breath. God, what a mess. He hates Tommy, all the more for being so human, and he hates himself, because the person he hates most of all is a stranger in his DMs telling him things he never wanted to hear about his boyfriend.

That's not the whole story.

But not, 'That isn't what happened'. Is there a version of this story Buck could ever forgive? He doesn't want to think about it.

[limeade-l3sbian]

Sorry, this is probably a heavy thing to put on, feel free to delete if this is too much for you to handle, I promise it won't upset me. I'm really considering suicide. I have a lot going on in my personal life and now that my eyes have been opened to how much the world hates women I find it difficult to cope. I truly don't know how to navigate the world knowing half the population wants to cut me up, use my reproductive organs, rape me, kill me, slather me in makeup, mutilate me, beat me, degrade and humiliate me just for being female. I can't trust or make friends anymore. I feel hopeless. Idk what I expect you to say, I just need to get this out and know that at least one person sees it and understands.

I don't know how helpful this will be, but I hope you know that I've been feeling the same way as well. It's part of why I haven't really been super active lately. I've been going through it as well, so I at the very least, hope you don't think you're alone.

This is a very shitty world and we are in this strange limbo right now of things either staying shit or getting shittier. And it's important to me that I don't give you advice that wouldn't personally help me. I think the best advice I can give you is this:

You're not going crazy. This hopelessness you feel is happening in record numbers. And your feelings about all this are completely valid. I hate that they're valid. I wish I could tell you, "But why do you think that's what's happening?" I wish i could be indignant and suggest that perhaps you were just looking too deeply into nothing. But you're not, and that's the biggest curse in being aware of the world around you.

I don't have the perfect answer for you. I wish I could write three paragraphs worth of inspiration and you hit me up two minutes later and tell me that after reading all that, now you want to conquer the world and nothing was going to stand in your way. I don't even have the perfect answer for myself.

I guess the best answer I can give you is that if you left, the world would just be a little more shittier. It would have just a little less sparkle to it that it is already sparse on. Someone's life (including mine, now that I know you exist), will dim in its quality if you were to do it. That hope that everyone grabs onto will lose just a little more grip without you. The world itself would shift in a way that isn't perceivably to you or me.

And that's not to say that you would be selfish to do it. An argument that I absolutely hate. But life would just go from 480p to 360p.

You should stay because what you are contemplating is going to come anyway. I have a post somewhere on here where i talk about how if you are suicidal, the best way to go about doing it is to live. Go out and live more than you ever have. That's when most people die. When they are out living and something out of their control happens. I would rather you die while ziplining with friends than crying and alone in a bathroom.

This sounds harsh, but I would rather all of this than give you some bullshit, "Oh, it's okay, sweetie. Have you talked to anyone? What about therapy? Did you do breathing exercises?"

You should go out and live, anon. And that doesn't even mean spend money. A full life isn't inevitable, but death is.

[writingintheshadowsforever]

Hi Let Me Explain

Quick Note: This might be a long post so I don't blame anyone who doesn't read the whole thing. This is an explanation, an apology, and an update all in one.

Hi everyone I'm back this time for real. I won't make any promises to posting three to four times a week. I won't make any promises on what series or request will be updated first. I will reassure all of you than none of my series or requests are forgotten about. I have them saved somewhere and plan on finishing them. The plan here is to take it one day at a time. One fic at a time. As I start my journey to finding the joy in writing again.

You see I've been doing a lot of self reflection these past couple of weeks. I've been at war with myself on rather or not to let a dream go. That dream to become this big time bestselling author one day. I didn't want to admit that dream which has always been my biggest dream since like high school was doing more harm than good. The dream of being a published writer is destroying my love for writing. So I need to let it go before I find myself hating writing altogether.

Its never easy to walk away or let go of your dreams especially for creatives. I sort of feel like its harder for any type of artist in whatever field to admit that they want to move onto something else. Because we grow up having to listen to parents and teachers telling us. Its not a plausible goal and to pick a safer path or at least have a backup goal. And most of us decide right then and there no matter what we're going to prove all those people wrong. No matter what obstacles we have to face, how many times we fail, or how long it takes. We are determined to find success with our craft and make them eat those words.

Some of us refuse to even consider another interest or path. Some of us put all our eggs in one basket. Some of us let our craft become our entire identity meaning. Later on if we want to walk away or maybe just put on the back burner for a while. Its like losing who you are as a person. You feel like you've failed yourself and at life for letting go. I say letting go and not giving up because I will never give up on writing or more specifically storytelling.

Storytelling made me the person I am today. I wouldn't be here today without my love for storytelling. It got me out of some dark places as a kid and still does today. Storytelling is the only real magic in this world.

As a writer who feel like the heart of storytelling is dying because of capitalism. I can't let it go. I can't let my love for it die which is why for now I have to let the dream go. It doesn't mean my dream still won't come true one day. And its not like becoming a bestselling author is my only dream. I have other dreams that have take the backseat, and I think its time to move them to the front seat.

For now on I write for the joy of it. I write to get those stories out of me. When it comes to my writing I don't ever want it to be about money or fame. Starting now I'm going to stop stressing over traditional publishing and rather or not I'll ever be good enough.

I'm sorry everyone for being gone so long. For a while a part of me started to contemplate giving up on writing altogether and even deleting this account. I was starting to hate writing because I was so stressed trying to figure out how to achieve success as a professional writer.

I once had a stranger who I didn't know at all tell me that one day I was going to be a great writer. Never met or talked to this guy a day in my life. I felt like it was a sign from God, the universe or whatever you believe in. Either way it was some divine intervention moment letting me know I was one day destined for a long and great career as a professional writer. But do you have to be a professional writer to be a great writer? Is it the same thing? Can someone be great at something but never find traditional success? Those are the questions that have been running my head every time I thought about letting go. I still going to struggle with those questions, but I hope one day I find the answer. What makes a great writer?

After going through my old fics the ones I'm going to get started on are:

Queen Ramonda x Reader Enemies to Lover

Part 2 to being Namor's daughter and choosing Wakanda over Talokan

Steal Your Heart

Not Who You Think I Am

New Marvel Stuff

New Addition

My Hero Academia imagines because its my new anime obsession

[anderii]

The accidental Lolitas.

Aiden and Sam had been gaming for a while it was time for some snacks.

Raiding the kitchen however proved to be very disappointing. There were no snacks too be had. Aidens parents were out shopping but wouldn't be back for ages.

My sister sometimes has snacks in her room said Aiden maybe we could raid her stash?

Just remember Aiden said don't touch anything, leave the searching to me, if she realises we have been in here she is gonna create a real stink.

What is with that dress Sam laughed is she going to a Disney princess party or something?

No man she's into some Japanese fashon, like kawai and lolita or some kind of stuff, just don't touch anything. She has all kinds of outfit, I think she spends every penny she gets on it and meets up with other girls for tea partie, that's what she's up to later.

Aagh I can't find anything, maybe there's something in the wardrobe.

Look at all these outfits this some kind of obsession she's got, I have never seen anything like them.

Oh yeah Sam, well I'm sure you'd look super cute in one, your scrawny enough to fit and I think pink is definitely your colour.

OK then let's see which one to try.

Wait i didn't mean it, don't touch anything, she will kill us!

Nope too late, give me a hand to do it up would you.

Ok but just take care and we have to put it back exactly how it was ok?

Yea ok, just give me a hand this is harder than it looks.

Hah told you it would fit, nice collar too, so how does it feel to be a princess then.

Its kind of nice, it feels sort of snug but in a pleasant way and it sort of swishes nicely. Hey why don't you try one, come on I'm sure wh have time and if it will fit me it will definitely fit your weedy bod.

Oh ok but just for a minute, let's see what about one of the black gothic ones?

Yea that sounds sick, come on i can help.

Damn that's perfect so how do you feel ?

Its odd like you said surprisingly comfortable and kind of nice. Quick let's grab a couple of pictures and get them put away before sis gets home.

Oooh wait I'm going to try one of the blond wigs too, then we can be sisters!

Dude your getting a bit too into this.

Na just joking.

Ok couple more pictures then done OK?.........OK.

Oh don't stop on my account gurls....

Sis!! Um it's not what it looks like, we were looking for snacks and......

You both accidentally ended up dressed as lolitas. Year i can see how that could happen and I have the pictures and video to prove it. Ha this is glorious! Oh I'm actually glad my afternoon with the girls got cancelled and I came back early.

P.ease sis you can't post that there has to be a way to work this out,,

Ok if you promise to do what I want with you today then I will delete everything and call it even. But if you muck around this goes out into the world understand?

Yes ok, Aiden and Sam mumbled .

It took a while but the boys were cooperative and Jen had them both done up and in full lolita makeup she then dressed and did her own and she then had them pose for photos with her, just like 3 sisters she kept saying.

Oh this is too good an opportunity to waste come on sisters out to the car we are going out.

Aiden and Sam reluctantly headed to the car, it had been kind of fun posing in the house but this was a bit too much, they started to complain but Jen just held up her phone, and threatened to send her ever increasing set of pictures to her blog.

You two do look nervous come on, this is your first girly trip out you should be more excited, show me a bit more enthusiasm and while we're at it I can't call you Aiden and Sam so it's Eden and Samantha OK, remember those names I won't be reminding you again.

The guys tried to show a little enthusiasm but they were both getting very worried and not a little turned on by the whole experience.

it turned out they shouldn't have been worried, Jen took them to a lovely cake shop where they enjoyed afternoon tea.

You see, Jen said, this is what I would have been doing with my friends but unfortunately they had to cancel and when I saw you two I thought it might be nice to bring you instead.

So your not mad? Sam said.

Well I was a little at first but there is a long history of boys wearing Lolita clothing, they are often called Brolitas and today you are my brolitas, for the afternoon anyway.

Soon it was time to head home Aiden wanted to make sure he as back before his parents returned and he had to explain the whole thing to them, but he had to admit, although he had been panicking when his sister took them out he had a lovely afternoon and wondered if maybe they could do it again sometime.

Hi girls Jen said as she met up with her lolita friends for another afternoon tea, I would like you to meet Eden and Samantha, the two brolitas I mentioned in chat, they were wondering if they could join the group?

[takami-takami]

Fuck if I know how to tag this lmao. I am safe!

Don't worry about this! I am simply doing an exercise in being open and honest like a journal, so do not feel obligated in any which way whatsoever to read or not read this or anything of any sort. 👍

I want to write coherent stories like the comforts i used to write. I wish I could. I want so desperately to be able to. I remember how it helped me. I'm sorry for editing this post.

But i picture the setting, and describing it. How am I supposed to write a comfort now in which the walls aren't melting? In which there are no analogies? It's all analogies. I don't know, I'm trying really hard to make this post make sense and maybe I can clarify it later.

But. I try writing about sitting on a couch, and the couch is so painfully, achingly red. It is velvet with gold tassels and as I say this, I remember my (I shouldn't be editing this. Do not touch this. Do not touch this. Why did you correct the typo.) grandmother's throw pillows looked like that. I traced a child's fingertip along the divots, I remember, royal patterns in gold, an ancient trinket bought from dusty flea markets by my grandmother. Eyes open, laid back, on days I was able to go to the living room, rare days.

And the more I look at it, I see that the analogies aren't analogous at all. They're secrets, woven in how my fingers type automatically and even this is difficult. I hope you understand how much care I am placing into you (scratch back, delete into you. Another analogous trigger reflecting something deep. What I meant to say was how hard I am trying to type what I "mean" rather than what comes natural.)

What I am trying to say is. I can write, it just won't make sense. I won't write. I can't stay focused on the topic, which I recognize is because in states like this I am unable to detach from the malignant mass that sustains me and my lucidity regarding trauma. Like, those masses that tree trunks get. If you tethered a child to it, and connected them to it via wires like the matrix.

I promise I am not trying to sound cryptic on purpose. I just literally cannot write anything at all right now. I don't really feel tethered to characters anyway.

I tried reading one of my fics I wrote and my eyes glazed over and none of the contents existed unfortunately. So I tried writing another one and it didn't work out, it just ended up like This clusterfuck of a post (I am masking! Look at me trying to appear clear and to my "actual" point!).

Anyway. I'm traumatized. This happens whenever I get retraumatized. Don't worry about it. I was going to say my brain is like an egg salad before remembering you don't fry the eggs for an egg salad, so.

This is the closest i can get. You can fill in the blank, if you'd like.

[return-to-twisted-wonderland]

💚anon - tw self harm

[Group Live (92)]

Comment: You should give yourself advice at every age you've been.

Emerald: Age 1: Enjoy the fact that you can't swim yet; people will hold you for longer and you will miss it one day.

Emerald: Age 2: Talk as much as you want, use your words—one day you will wish you had the courage to.

Emerald: Age 3: Don't drink the almond milk, you are deathly allergic to nuts.

Emerald: Age 4: Santa is real, and so is the tooth fairy; never stop believing in magic.

Emerald: Age 5: Always lick the batter from the brownie bowl and never let your mother stop you.

Emerald: Age 6: Be kind to the boy who sits across from you at lunch, he will not be here much longer.

Emerald: Age 7: If a boy is teasing you, it does not always mean he likes you, do not confuse love with abuse.

Emerald: Age 8: Wear the pink skirt and cowgirl hat to school; kids are mean, but no one will remember what you wore on picture day in the third grade.

Emerald: Age 9: Your first crush with green eyes and he won't like you back. In ten years you will find out he has a husband. You will joke about the irony later on.

Emerald: Age 10: Delete 'Kik', no you are not texting [Insert celebrity name], you are texting a 60 year old man. The Internet is a cruel place, you will realize this later on.

Emerald: Age 11: Be kind to yourself because middle school will not be.

Emerald: Age 12: Your friends are not cooler than you because they got their period first. There is no rush, slow down. In 5 years, you will have a needle shoved in your arm to stop it from coming each month.

Emerald: Age 13: Highschool is absolutely nothing like the movie High School Musical, and no, you will not get shoved into a locker or eat your lunch in the bathroom.

Emerald: Age 14: Put your phone down, enjoy your friendships now because they do not last forever.

Emerald: Age 15: Talking about your feelings does not make you weak, please put the kn*fe down, it will not relieve the pain.

Emerald: Age 16: Your first time will not feel like butterflies, it will hurt, you will cry to your mother about it after while your father goes to murder the guy.

Emerald: Age 17: The boy you meet at the beach is not the love of your life, but I promise you will love again—someone so much better.

Emerald: Age 18: The bottle of alcohol won't numb your pain or stitch the hole in your heart, but going to the beach and laughing with your friends will. Your body will not look the same when you were 13, and that is okay, you are beautiful then and you are beautiful now, continue to change and grow.

Emerald: Age 19: Believe in yourself. Start off your idol career that makes you happy and do it. Believe in the magic of being on stage the same way you believed in the tooth fairy. Not all stories are as simple as Cinderella, but sometimes dreams really do come true.

Floyd_Leech: Sis....

[thesweetnessofspring]

A chapter from the OG Roses and Pearls

My revised version of Roses and Pearls is shaping up to be pretty different from the original, now-deleted 2012/13 version. A major plot point of the Capitol bombing D13 in particular was very different and I thought it would be fun to share the original here.

Some VERY key differences: Peeta hadn't yet completely switched over to the rebellion, and he and Rosalia are still together. I'd changed a lot of the events around, so it came out very different!

Below the cut is the original chapter from Roses and Pearls, unedited and unchanged from how it was written 11 years ago.

Within hours, the attacks start.

Although Katniss promises me no one will get hurt as long as they stay in the shelter, I can't believe it. The walls tremble and vibrations shiver up into my core. I sit handcuffed on the floor of the Everdeen's tent, sick and worried.

"I can't believe she did this," I whisper.

"Really? You can't believe it?" Katniss frowns.

Would I have done this weeks and weeks ago, before I found out the truth, before I became friends with these people here? Yes. I would have. Rosalia still sees Thirteen as the enemy, the way I saw it when I first came here. She thought this would save her, set right what went awry that night on the rooftop garden.

"I guess…I guess I can believe it."

The walls rumble with the impact of another bomb.

"You sure picked a real winner, Peeta." Katniss draws her knees up to her chest and continues scowling.

"She's not…she's—"

"Are you defending her?"

"I'm not approving of what she did, but she's not a mutt like you're trying to make her out to be."

She makes a disgusted sound from deep in her throat. "Not a mutt? She has mutt in her blood from her grandfather, from the Capitol. And she proved that she has it by letting them know about us!"

"She's a prisoner! She's scared! She's been taken from her home, her life turned upside down, and she wants to go back to the way things were before. That's why she told them about us. Don't act like you wouldn't do the same if the Capitol captured you."

Katniss stiffens. "No, I wouldn't. Because the Capitol would brainwash me before I even got the chance, and they'd make me believe in things I didn't."

Her words sting like a slap on the face. She thinks I'm still a puppet for the Capitol. And why would she think any differently? I'm still handcuffed as a prisoner and defending Rosalia. I haven't told her that I remember anything about the past, even the slightest recognition that I loved her.

"I'm not saying what she did was right. I'm just trying to look at it from her shoes. If I thought it was right, I never would have warned you."

She drops her gaze from mine and runs her fingers over the metal floor. I sigh. It feels like we'll never be able to understand each other about this.

"Do you want to go to bed soon?" she asks. "I can make up your bed."

I shake my head. "I won't be able to sleep through the attack."

"Me either."

"Stay with me?" I ask her.

She jerks her head up at me, eyes round. "You remember?"

"Remember what?" I have no idea, but suddenly, I wish I did.

She droops again. "Never mind."

The bombs continue through the night. President White issues one week in the shelter, allowing for the debris to cool and the Capitol to believe we didn't survive the bombs. After that, we'll head out for refuge.

When the bombs cease, I sleep for the first time in over twenty-four hours, so exhausted I probably could sleep through another attack.

I wake up a few hours later, not ready to get out of bed and deal with our situation. I keep my eyes closed, but I notice two people talking in the Everdeens' area. Katniss and Gale.

"Eleven will be able to get us food once we get to Twelve," Gale says.

"The Capitol will try to rein them in first, though. They'll die without Eleven supplying them," Katniss says.

"They're not stupid. Ever since you won and the small rebellions started, the Capitol has stocked up on food. They have a year's worth of it. Not exactly the extent of Thirteen's planning, but still good considering."

"I can't imagine those precious Capitol people eating canned food." Katniss's tone leaks acid.

"Woah, I thought I'm the one who gets to rag on the rich people, while you remind me of your precious prep team and that Effie woman."

"Just because there are some good but confused people in the Capitol doesn't mean they won't complain about their food. And not all of them are so great, either."

I count two breaths.

"What?" Katniss asks.

"You really hate Rosalia Snow."

"Don't you?"

"Yeah, but I think our reasons are probably different."

"Gale, she blew our cover, almost got us killed."

"Besides One and Two, all of the rebellions succeeded and none of us are dead. And anyway, did you expect anything else from her? She's an idiot."

"I don't trust her, and I don't think she's completely an idiot. Peeta…he acts like he's still in love with her, defending what she did. What did she do to him to make him think like that? Why would he love her, even after all of this?"

Did I still love her? A little, I guess. A small piece of me held onto what she'd been to me before, a refuge for the loneliness and pain, someone to make me forget about it all. But we'd grown to apart now, our goals too dissimilar.

"She is beautiful," Gale says. After a moment, he continues, "Well, she is. If you get past her freaky hair, she has a great body, and her face isn't too bad either. Huge lips and big eyes."

"But after everything she did. She can't be that beautiful."

"Look, I can tell you more about what I know as far as the rebellion goes, or we can keep going on about your hatred and Peeta's love for this girl."

"Fine. What else is important?"

"Like I said before, One and Two are still firm in the Capitol's hold. They're sending out back-ups to the other districts from them, because we never had a strong hold of the rebellion there, anyway."

"But Lyme knows Two," Katniss says.

"She does, which is why we had to break her out of the Capitol. Still, she can't do it alone."

"One shouldn't be hard to break, should it?"

"They've been taking up more kids to train as Careers. They practically have their own army now."

"We have all but those two districts. We're going to win, aren't we?"

"We should," Gale says. "But Two will be difficult to crack, and without doing so, we'll never be able to get to the Capitol. They could reassemble and take back the districts again. Just because we're winning now doesn't mean we will be in a few months."

"We've been going so long with this. I just want it to be over."

"I know."

Gale's voice is so understanding, even nurturing, that I can't lay down low anymore. I open my eyes and sit up in bed. Katniss and Gale sit a foot apart, not touching. I rub my eyes, remembering that Gale's married and Katniss told me she didn't love him more than a friend. I shouldn't worry about them.

But I still do, a little bit.

"Good morning. Or afternoon. Nighttime?" I say, uncertain here underground and without my schedule what time it is.

Gale checks his watch. "Afternoon."

"Here, I'll get you some food," Katniss says, standing up to get it.

While I eat, Katniss and Gale don't say anything else to each other, probably because I'm not supposed to know much, in case I spill their secrets to the Capitol in some way.

There's not much to do in the shelter. Most people wander around, visit other people. Delly comes to see us, her cheeks a little flushed.

"I did it," she says once she sits down, but still straight with excitement. "I told Bron how I felt."

"And…?"

She smiles and lets out a giggle. "He kissed me."

I have to admit, I'm shocked. Bron had seemed so distant, I didn't expect him to react so immediately to Delly's declaration. I grin, though, at seeing Delly finally getting what she's deserved for so long.

"What did he say?" I ask.

"That he's liked me for a long time, but he didn't say anything because he knew the war would be happening, and if he died or got hurt, he didn't want me to hurt, either. But once I let him know I was already crazy about him…well, why not enjoy what we have now, right?"

"I told you to just tell him."

Delly nods. "I think it was the bombs that really made me do it. We all might die any day now. Might as well live while we can."

Other people come to visit, mostly for Katniss and Prim. Quite a few young men come for Prim, actually. They all pay her close attention, but most of the time her answers are polite, and not interested. Katniss keeps a close eye on those boys and looms into their conversations to intimidate them. I think she might be doing it to help out Prim, but the way she glares at those boys might prove she has a different motive.

After the fourth day, Katniss asks me, with a sour look on her face, if I want to see Rosalia.

"No," I say. "I'm not ready."

And I'm not. I know what I'm going to do when I see her next. I'm going to take back the ring, once and for all. Not because of Katniss. I still doubt Katniss cares for me more than she cares for Gale. I'm going to break up with her because it's what the both of us need. I don't love her enough anymore. And if she lives through this war, she deserves for someone to love her like I used to. But I'm not relishing going to her and telling her we're done, watching her heart break in front of me and her sobbing. She'll get over me, although it might take a while. And she will find someone else to love her and marry her.

As I fall asleep that night with Katniss's pallet beside mine, I wonder if I'll ever stop loving Katniss like I've stopped loving Rosalia. If I'll move on and fall in love with someone else. Or will my childhood dream always follow me, always come back to me, no matter what brainwashing it goes through?

There, on the border of day and night, I realize what Katniss thought I remembered.

"Always."

This, my whole romantic life, has been made up of two things. Roses and pearls.

Rosalia's love had been a sudden bloom in my life, fragrant and entrancing. A beautiful sight to brighten up a gloomy day. But like all flowers, hers wilted, lost its scent, and died. A brief love affair, considering the whole of my life.

But Katniss was no rose. My love for her started out small, a few speckles of sand. Irritating, a little, with my frustration of being unable to talk to her and her closed nature. But still, I rubbed at it like an oyster. And through it all, the bread, the Games, even this hellhole in Thirteen, my love had transformed into the pearl. Beautiful, rare, and lasting.

Something I'll always treasure.

[graylinesspam]

Okay, there's been a lot of hot topic discussions about participating in fandom and the rules and expectations there in. Great discussions, I am loving the active shift to move back to a more traditional fandom etiquette. Being kinder, more supportive, more encouraging, ect, of creators is great. BUT lets be honest. It's not always easy. One of the biggest challenges we are facing right now is an environmental one. The worlds on fucking fire, we're all exhausted and scared and using our fandoms as escapism from everything else. That still doesn't give anyone the right to become entitled to fandom made media or to behave poorly in those spaces. But the tired and well meaning consumers of fandom who are just too burnt out to do much more than doomscroll are probably wondering how they can help to create a better environment without putting themselves out. I say this as someone who has been there, is there, and will be there again.

Structuring your fandom engagement can be immensely helpful for the fandom and your enjoyment of it. If you are suffering in any way and are just too exhausted to even think enough words to leave a comment on a fic. If your running on fumes and using a constant flow of fics, edits, ect to keep going. But you genuinely don't have the time to stop and engage with the media. If you are suffering from social anxiety and it's just too much to even try to shout into the void. Then this is my advice for you. Put it off.

Seriously.

As a fic writer myself I know how much writers sit on ao3 refreshing and waiting for hits and comments. I know how much I love receiving notifs on here for headcannon posts. And it is absolutely fact that creators must be interacted with and encouraged to make more content. But it is equally true that the media they make is meant to be enjoyed for the long term, not just the moment it comes out. And there are ways you can accommodate yourself.

starting with the things it doesn't actually take effort to do. The things you really should be doing right away. Like posts. leave kudos. use repost and reblog features of whatever platform you are using.

I know that in the past I have been held back from reblogging a post because I know that I will have thoughts on it. So I want to put it off until i have the time to get to it. But the truth of it is that there is no actual reason not to give the creator an empty reblog once or even more than once. Notifications feel good. The only thing that's discouraging you is that little social anxiety voice. I promise you it isn't embarrassing to reblog something more than once.

Creators won't think anything negative about you for doing so. If it's as easy as pushing a button. DO IT. Push the damn button.

And this goes well beyond just posted works too. If there's a discord chat you don't have the energy to way in on but your enjoying reading. Hit them with a reaction. If there's a post in the making with multiple creators discussing something, reblog it. Engage, hit that button baby

Now for the less demanding tasks, You feeling demand avoidant to engagement. You feeling nonverbal to a mental degree. Head empty no words? BUT your absolutely digging the content your consuming? Great. You can literally save it for later. Your allowed. If you need some kind of authoritative permission to be late to things, This is me granting it to you. There is no such equivalent to liking an old Instagram post (or whatever it is the youths stress about socially). You want to say something in the notes of a post you liked? there's a fun feature of this here blog site that lets you save posts as drafts. You would not believe the amount of drafts that I have saved. Some are years old. Some are kept as permanent references for other works that I come back to.

Your ever find yourself adding to a post just to lose steam half way through? don't delete that response. Save to draft.

You want to leave something nice in the notes of some fan art but can't for the life of you think any words? (There's always emojis) save to drafts. Come back to it later when you feel more up to it.

You're allowed to put thing off. You are not obligated to jump at all fandom engagement as tax for being in the fandom.

Now, that being said, you should still actually come back to that saved content. You want to know a secret about me? I am terrible at leaving comments.

I know as a fic write, I should be better at it, but I'm just not. I came to conclusion very quickly that feeling guilty about that only made me do it less. Less engagement is not the answer. So here are some easily employable tips for being better at leaving comments.

#1 don't...I mean, don't worry about it right away. You just finished a fic, you feel like you should leave a comment in appreciation. You are allowed to wait.

Personally I use my reading history on ao3 to keep track of my reading. I rarely leave a comment after having just finished a fic. Usually I wait for a good mental health day, (or a day where I have to urge to write but my brain won't let me actually work on a fic) and I go through my history and leave comments on all the fics I've read since the last time I did this. I usually do this between every month and every other month.

I gave this advice to a friend of mine a couple years ago and she has decided to make a personal tag in her bookmarks that she uses to keep track of fics she plans on commenting on later.

I have also personally used the PRIVATE bookmark feature as a way to take notes on fics while reading them so I remember what I wanted to comment on later. Since these notes are nearly ineligible to anyone but me. And since they're invisable to the author, this feels private and organized enough for my brain to handle.

I find that this method not only make me feel good for spreading joy across the fandom in bursts but also sometimes lets me make more well thought out and articulate comments. It also allows me to go back and leave a comment on each chapter of a long fic with my thoughts, without disrupting my rhythm during reading. Which we know authors love getting a stream of new comments, so there's no need to feel bad about it.

#2 But wait, maybe you do want to leave a comment right away but don't have the words. Then you can leave an emoji or keyboard smash and just come back later to leave a better comment. Fun fact, you can, should, and are encouraged to leave multiple comments on the same fic/post. You are more than welcome to leave a string of emojis now and come back later. I personally just went back to a fic I read almost seven years ago just to leave a better comment. And while it's awesome to reread fics when you do this. You don't have to. I didn't this time. I just found myself thinking about the fic in question and wanted to say something that, at the time of reading, i just wasn't mature or educated enough to have put into words.

#3 Or maybe you just won't ever have the words to say exactly what you want. That's okay too. Sometimes concepts are just too big to get from you brain to your mouth. I hate it when it happens to me. And in the past it has felt very discouraging. But I promise you it's okay. There are about a million posts on this site giving you advice on how to word your comments so I won't use too much space up on that, but i will say, It's okay if all you can manage is an ok comment. Fanfiction comments are not something you need to have a good grade in. You are allowed to be dry. You are allowed to just say "I liked__ and __ and the way that you___", without elaborating. You do not have to explain yourself and all your thoughts in a comment. A compliment as simple as "I love the way you write." Is perfectly fine.

#4 Head empty, only blorbo? telling people you love the trope they're writing, or a headcannon you like about the character that they included is great to. Or something included in a drawing. As fun as it is to receive an annotated analysis on something, it's actually not mandatory for you to talk to someone about their actual writing or drawing skills. Sometimes all your brain wants is to think about the character or the headcannon or the scenario. And that's ok. Clearly the creator wants to as well, if they wrote about it.

The core of all of this advice is not to put too much pressure on yourself. Fandom is being consumed too fast and left behind to quickly. It's okay to take your time with things, Yes even if you also find yourself chasing the dopamine. You can like the latest trendy fandom, and also use any of the above methods to keep track of the whirlwind of content your eating through, and come back to it later. You can also use que features to space out your reblogs of some fandom content to spread out the appreciation.

If you are for some reason embarrassed to blow through someone's blog or fics, use the que feature. Making comments in a private bookmark and then add them to the fic later.

You are allowed to take things at your own pace. Fandom isn't just for right now. It's for the long term, but only if you continue to engage with it.

[keldjinfae]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers! Spread the self-love 💞

Okay, so first off, thanks to @dear-massacre for this one. I got to filter through a lot of things I wrote for other fandoms besides Teen Wolf, and while I won't be sharing them (purely because most of them fell victim to the Great Strikethrough Purge, and the "clean" versions I have up on the Pit that is fanfiction.net are... frankly, things I would delete if I could remember what the hell my log-in is), I did remember one I co-wrote with a friend of mine over a decade ago. And neither of us remembers how to log into that old account we created solely for the purpose of writing something together (let me just say, AO3 allowing for co-creators is a fucking godsend), so the link for that one will have to direct you there instead of AO3. I may be able to update this with an AO3 link, provided @caseyvalhalla (said cowriter) is able to find a full version of the fic in their backup drive (which would be outstanding, seeing as how my copy of the fic was lost at some point about three or four PCs/laptops ago).

I also left WIPs out of this list because I feel like that might be too cruel of a tease, seeing as how I haven't updated them since about 2011.

Freaks and Fools is a Halloween-themed fic that Casey and I brainstormed together in about two hours after the initial joke of mashing up Kingdom Hearts and Peanuts. One of us said "Axel is Snoopy, sleeping out on the lawn," and it suddenly turned into him also being Johnny from The Outsiders; what followed was a feverish brainstorming session of determining the perfect way to balance drama and humor. Then we wrote and edited the whole damn thing over the course of three coffee-laden weekends.

I'm Not Asking Questions, I'm Taking My Chances is the first fic I wrote for the Sterek Reverse Bang. I'd previously written a fic for the Sterek Reverse Quickie, and it was my very first Teen Wolf fic, period, while I fucked around and found out if I'd be able to write for the fandom. Turns out, I could. The minimum word count for the RB was 5k, so naturally I wrote something up in the 80k range because I have zero chill.

It's a fantasy AU that very loosely (seriously, so loose that you definitely don't want to be relying on this fic to catch you in a trustfall exercise) incorporates themes from the Merlin series. Writing it helped teach me how to better plan out scenes, in terms of "do I really need to write out this whole scene independently or could I just incorporate it briefly into this already-existing one?" It also gave me better practice at determining when I was going to have to let scenes go altogether, maybe with the notion that I might write them someday and add them on later.

You Gotta Promise Not to Stop When I Say When is a fic I wrote for the Sterek Reverse Quickie, during which I was paired up with the same artist who I'd written for during my very first RQ. She wanted comfort, made a moodboard about it (sadly, Discord stopped image hosting so the links to all of her previous artwork are all broken), and I decided I wanted to write comfort as well. I gave her two choices (Derek takes Stiles's pain, or Stiles is a vampire sharing a house with Derek, and both of them accuse the other of being a squatter--it's a long, stupid story that has gone off the rails in a meme prompt thread on Discord), and went with the one that both of us could sink into.

This one is probably my absolute favorite because I literally just wrote what I know. Stiles is disabled, Derek helps him cope with it. I can't really sell it any better than that, other than to say that I wrote my own personal experiences, but Sterekified.

We're Floating in the Moonlit Sky is a Sterek fic I wrote for a little something called the 1000 Cakes Challenge, which provided the writer and artist participants with a word, an action, and a setting, and had us all spin our own take on them. The word was "kumquat," the action was "pursuit" or "sleepwalk" (I incorporated both--again, zero chill), and the setting was a gorgeous painting of a snowy forest that one of the moderators made herself just for the challenge. Initially, I wasn't even going to participate because I'd literally just finished writing my latest Sterek RB fic and thought I was burned out. Then an idea smacked me in the face right as I was falling asleep.

I love this one because it's more or less just me allowing myself some pure self-indulgence. There's some angst, there's some drama, but most of it is just seeing how many Christmas carol references I can squeeze in as puns. Stiles is half-elf and half-frost sprite, Derek is still a werewolf, Peter is Krampus (thanks to @ice-mage, because "of course Peter is Krampus"), and Noah is Santa Claus.

My Echo, My Shadow, and Me is the Sterek Reverse Bang fic I wrote before I got started on Floating. I somehow managed to write 100k+ words in a bit under four months, and satisfied my desire to write a season 3a "fix-it" (of sorts--more like a revision) in the process. I don't know if the experience would be the same for @nerdherderette, who wound up beta-reading "the Beast in Blue" in the course of about 20 hours, but it was damn satisfying to write.

Essentially, all of season 3a still happens, but Jackson never leaves and Cora never arrives. I wanted to explore everyone's strengths and flaws, and I wanted to write an alternate take on the nogitsune without having to rewrite 3b as well.