#can't draw so making edits is the next best thing lol

[pixelatedraindrops]

A story told in 4 images 🌡️

Yuma develops an almost dangerously high fever almost collapsing outside the agency and returns to the base per Shinigami's recommendation.

Yakou proceeds to check him, sit him down and get him a blanket to keep him warm (his own bed's blanket) as well as a thermometer to read his temperature. Shinigami remains by her master's side the whole time, with slight concern.

Then he lays him down and tries to cool him off with ice, cold water and uses whatever medicine the agency had during his restless sleep.

The NDA likely cannot afford professional healthcare or a hospital visit, so Yakou's on his own here ;-; Though he doesn't really know what he's doing, he's trying his best. He felt responsible for him. He wouldn't let anything happen to him.

~

Don't worry, it works out in the end c:

After hours of hard work, the high fever breaks down to being only slight. The medicine and ice water worked.

Yakou's relief felt is so immeasurable he practically almost cries, and a very dazed Yuma wakes up with next to no memory of what happened, confused by his chief's exaggerated reaction.

Until he recalls it later and thanks him for tending to him.

💕💊

[sysig]

Stop being so pretty already, gosh (Patreon)

[s0lar-ch3ri]

what if i wanted to make another insane promo post?

yeah, ik, its promo time again. BUT this time around i do wanna add in the post both my cousin and niece

one thing i did get wrong, heartz is my niece, starz is my cousin! this will basically be going over what each of these 2 do (...and im also adding in a bonus competitor/promoed person, well actually 2 because I GOT A CHANNEL YIPPEE)

each channel will be seperated up so yeah lets go!

first channel:

Starzzz.andgalaxy (my actual cousin, lol) is a great yter who absolutely deserves to be celebrating more then just 170 subs! since shes actually here with me, i can let her say a lil something on the matter:

"hello! I would love to reach 200 subscribers at least, I think my hard work should not be for nothing!" <- her typing

shes very very fun (and also with this i hope all the god damn hate comments shut lol) and does very cool things such as:

Roblox videos

(comment is from me lol, we'll get there soon) For right now these are just rating videos of her avatar, but I find them very fun (plus since I play roblox if needed I can help with filming lol)! Not much to say on it cause it's not a common kind of post, so onto the next form, which is:

2. Art

As you can see, she does very cool art, this one in particular is a tutorial on how to draw bodies. Is it the best? No, but the fact she's trying makes it great! (this is also where I've seen a couple hate comments come up, so yeah, I'm trying to be mature enough to not commit violence for her upon them) She does admit this video isn't her best work, but she does A LOT of very very cool drawings! Go check them out and her channel of course! There is one thing she also posts about which I love most of all...

3. Paper Dragons!!

(the first image is her first dragon, second is her most recent i think) I don't get how these things are "paper furries", but I do know THEY ARE SICK AS FUCK. I got to see one in person and they're very cool, all with different stories! I honestly wanna ask for one but right now, I'm gonna stick with watching them.

Channel link can be found here:

(this section was finished on january first of 2024, so at the point of this being posted she wont be over here, but i had her here so yeah :D i love my cousin)

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Second channel:

Heartzzz.❤️ is my niece, and she does similar content, but still does good content! A couple of videos of Starz and Heartz are them promoting each other, so yeah. While she is on vacation and can't be here to give her reasons to subscribe to you, I certainly can!

Memes

One thing I forgot to mention my cousin doing (well, actually my cousin's section is just kinda old because it's from when she last came over, but she's back to help me again, yay!) is making memes like this. Sometimes they do involve a paper dragon, but I think they're pretty funny and/or relatable (also dragons very cool)!

2. Edits (and Undertale related things)

I'm putting these 2 in the same category just because of the example image above. While my cousin has recently started doing edits, Heartz is the only 1 of the 2 to make anything Undertale related. While the Undertale stuff comes once every blue moon it seems, that doesn't make it any less enjoyable.

I actually found in her description a run down on what she does post, so here:

Link to her channel can be found right here:

(okay ik this section was really short, again, she posts similar things to my cousin, and i didnt wanna repeat, so yeah, if you want more reason, here's what the cousin herself says: "[Heartz] is really nice, she's a good artist, and she's creative"; time i finished this section was 1/15/2024 lol)

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third channel:

Boli and gang (or as their original user is + the profile picture says, Boli the bear) is the channel belonging to 2 kids I babysit! They're pretty new to making content, but they have a promising start already! Currently, their content consists of...

Animations

One of them has really been getting into animation, posting things like ball loops and such on their account. They're very interesting to watch personally!

2. Cool places

I'm not sure if this is going to be a common theme, but there is around 3-4 videos of places like this one. I have to admit, this has to be the prettiest of them all.

3. Art (+FNAF/Five Nights at Freddy's Content)

This is another one grouped together, but because this is the first drawing related one I've seen. They're very big FNAF fans, of course leading to things like this. Is it the best? No, but they tried very hard of course, and maybe you could leave some tips for them to improve with!

(they also post memes and funny videos, but I'd rather not do repetition; FINISHED THIS ALSO ON THE 15TH LETS GOOOOOOO)

Link to their channel can be found here:

Oh, one final reason, their profile picture is super cool! Can you guess who made it? This actually provides me with the perfect transition into...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

fourth/final channel:

ITS ME!!! FINALLY I CAN STOP DOING PROPER ASS TYPING

yeah, i have a youtube now, and there's like nothing on it minus a couple videos. all of them are made back in like 2021-2022? cant really remember, but i posted them for younger me's sake. i have like a couple more to get through, but afterwards im probs gonna do a bigger variety of content! art videos, jrwi edits, animations, rambles, essays, you name it! (might even stream again on twitch if that seems what the people like lol)

you may want actual reasons to subscribe, but i currently dont have any. i can only make promises of better future content, but right now i can admit theyre shit. i dont post often, its only oc related rn, all very vague, nothing that interests most people on my blog (cause i know a lot of you are here for jrwi content, huh?). this channel, the choice to subscribe is fully up to you, im not gonna sell myself to it, im simply just saying its real.

Link to the channel is found here:

if you at all took the time to read through my part, i appreciate it, but please do actually check out the other 3. after all, you can always find me here, but you cant find the others anywhere else!

(FINISHED THE REST OF THE POST ON 1/15/24 LETS GOOOOOOOOO)

[magical-wishies]

To love or not to love, that is the questio-

Ok whoops wrong reference. Happy Valentine's Day everyone! I made a MV of the song "Darling Dance" by Kairiki Bear featuring my favourite little tricksters for the occasion!

I'd rather you go straight to Youtube to watch it because Tumblr always finds a way to cut the quality, lol.

Eng subtitles are available too!

Here it is! Hope you enjoy my pride and joy. Basically like a hopeful child but in video format. Reblogs are specially appreciated because Youtube sucks at promoting new channels!

This also acts as a behind-the-scenes post, so let's get straight into that, shall we?

MV Project 1 "Darling Dance"

Illustration time: 37 hours

Editing time: Approx. 30-35 hours

Total: 70 hours

*Cough* Holy freakin' moly does making an MV take so long. Before you roll off your bed, I'll say that part of the reason making the art took so long was because I have trouble drawing Marx consistently.

Here's some unused assets! Look at them, they're all salty over not making the cut.

In all seriousness though, a lot of times I don't really see a lot of editors/ MV makers getting appreciation for their efforts. And now that I've personally experienced making an MV for the first time, it's also increased my admiration to the people who dedicate their time to this! All the kudos to them.

Now, I'll go scene by scene then comment along the way! Spoilers ahead!

Verse 1

Pretty good for what it is. In the first image, you see that heart behind Magolor? I discovered the motion of it on complete accident lol. Capcut is hard to figure out..

I also really like the color palette of 2nd image. That art of Marx was the last one I did during production (aka I drew it this morning), and just look at him. He's such a bastard he's the best.

Pre Chorus 1

Mmmm yeah it sure is the pre chorus! I put a bar behind the text in the middle because I didn't want people to stare into their soulless eyes for too long. That probably worked!

1st Chorus

When I first added in the expression change, I fangirled over it a little on the first rewatch. Like, come on! They suddenly look mischievous, and the color change on the background! I know I drew it but still!

For the rest, I experimented a little with all the "Nah"s! I think it ended up well. Most of the lyric editing in this MV is completely original, so I had a couple of things to try out!

Verse 2

This song is horrifically outdated because it says Twitter instead of X!! (/sarcasm)

This scene is my second favourite. I'm really proud of the details on the tabs and the editing at the beginning! Wish I could put more images but the app only allows ten. Bummer.

Pre Chorus 2

I think it's cute, and I used it as my pfp on YouTube! That's about it though.. image limit is killing me I can't put anything here :(

Chorus 2

...Not gonna spoil it! I like how I drew them, but there ain't anything notable. Unless you look at the last image I put right before the bridge. :)

Bridge

This is where my editing comes in freakin' clutch. Ooooooh it's so satisfying to look at. Chef's kiss. Also those Marxs (Marxes?) are really cute.

The second part of the bridge is nice as well! I tried to make the lyrics snap to the rhythm. Glad I added that tv effect in the bg too!

Chorus 3

This scene is my favourite! Wanna know why?

This sequence right here. I think I will etch it into my brain forever... I love me some snappy editing. Like a lot. Like a lot a lot!

The second part of the chorus is like the original song's MV! I loved the hearts popping in and out whoever thought of that is a genius. Putting it into the MV was a good decision!

And that's a wrap! Hope you enjoy the MV as much as I enjoyed making it. And, stay tuned for next time! I have a feeling a certain jester is getting his own solo MV...

Feel free to leave your thoughts either in the Youtube comments section or here. See you around!

[mystycalypso]

Any HN/HNWTRB blogs you recommend or just think are really cool?

Anonymous you have no idea the basement door you've just unlocked.

Alright let's get into it. (Not gonna post any art, but highly recommend just looking at the blogs for yourselves <3) also hope you guys don't mind getting mentioned lol

First up, @ravenbrookz

I genuinely didn't know if there was WTRB art that wasn't uh... deviant art based before I stumbled onto their Tumblr and fell in love with their art style. It's so squishy and adorable and I love their aus, especially Alien Trinity

Ru in general just seems super awesome, highly recommended

Next, @welcometoravenbrooksz

Another one with a scrumptious art style, they don't post as often but when they do it's very worth it ^^

@thewokemachine

My life has been made better by DuckTales on the ps3 jokes. Also like Ru did in making me love Tricky, they've made me absolutely adore Nenzo. Their art is silly (I need more ways to describe art but literally I'm just here nibbling on any hello neighbor art I can find like a raccoon in the garage)

@dogrwo

Ivan >>>>>>

Ivan art needs more love. Ivan needs more love. Please go look at the Ivan art guys. Pls pls pls-

@emiscringe

Yknow what else is yummy?

Edits.

Even more so bc I can't edit for shit

Also it's really fun talking theories with them hehe

@simming-squadz

Another incredible artist (tumblr is where all the best Hello Neighbor artists hide /hj)

They also made the running memes for wtrb and those things make me giggle sm every time.

Their hn memes in general are great

@powertooled (the @ doesn't work for some reason sob)

Have you guys SEEN the way they draw Trinity?! It's amazing, incredible, stunning. Not to mention their theorizing, I probably wouldn't have rewatched it 50+ times if it weren't for stuff like theirs making me look even closer at tiny details

Last but not least @daradiostarzz

GOD TYSM FOR CONVINCING ME TO READ THE BOOKS

Also yes. Again, incredible artwork and I love their 1980 au as well as Trans Aaron <3

But seriously if it weren't for how they talk about the books and specifically their character tier list I wouldn't be able to work on my own au to be so much more character accurate and also I'd still hate Jay and Luanne... now I only hate the in show versions /hj

Pls go give all these guys love (if you're not already following them all with w/notifications on because any slightly Hello Neighbor-related post makes me so excited)

Theres also definitely more great blogs out there as well and I can't wait to find them hehe

[crabbng]

i actually got some in process shots for this #WebcomicDay ! they are of an episode 12 page, so this doubles as a sneak peek 🤣 you can see i forgot to take a pic of the finished lines before i started on coloring (whoops)

there are a few secret steps after finishing up backgrounds etc. (scanning, cleaning up) but since this is a sneak peek, i didn't want to put the Final Product out there.

I guess I'll ramble a little bit about The Process below the cut.

SKETCH: I don't plan out my pages as much as I should other artists do. I think about the next couple shots I want, what I can probably fit on the page, and then decide how tall the panel should be. after that I draw a big line across the page 🤣 sometimes the panel gets bisected, usually not trisected. I love it when people consider the whole of the page and make the paneling choices that elevate the art. I just don't do it lmao

luckily for me, I don't have a requirement to make every piece of my comic pages The Best. So, I focus on what I enjoy: expressions and conversations.

LINE DIALOGUE AND PANELS: For inking/lining, I ABSOLUTELY have to put in my dialogue/dialogue balloons first. Since I'm doing everything on the same page of physical paper, I can't really shift things around partway through to make the dialogue and art fit better together. I also have to make sure it all fits within the panel lines I have planned. I've gotten into situations where the WORDS fit in, but in order to make a word balloon with decent space around the words, I cross over a line. Sometimes it works, but for me.. it doesn't work most of the time. So, gotta plan ahead.

You can also see down in the final section, I handwrite my dialogue! So, if I mess up, I sometimes have to add in a few letter that I can substitute in during editing.

FINISH LINES & ERASING: All I have to say about finishing lines/erasing, is that erasing can be such a challenge lmao. JUST YESTERDAY... when I was erasing.. I tore a page a little bit. And I often accidentally crinkle a corner while erasing. The obvious solution, and what I know people do, is to sketch on one page, and then use a light table (or equivalent) to do a cleaner, lighter sketch on a new page, and then do lining on that. Which is a good idea, maybe someday I'll try it lol.

COLOR FIGURES: There's really no good reason I start with the figures, besides that I like watching them come to life with the colors. It feels weird when they're blank on the page. They're also generally the most important part of the page for me, and seeing them colored helps me decide on which panels I want to do flat color backgrounds for.

But! This means I can't go back and edit skin tones etc. to be in different lighting after the fact, unless it's to make them darker! So that's something I have to be cognizant of and plan for in advance.

I use Copics for most part of the figures, except when I know there's going to be several large areas to color, like Aoife's hair or her sweater and pants. I have character's hair planned in Copics, but I have several browns from other brands (Prismacolor, Blick, Winsor and Newton, Artist's Loft) that get pretty close to her hair color. Clothing that has large areas that need to be colored are planned as being from one of those other brands from the start. I don't want to use up all my Copic juice on them!!

Also don't you just love seeing the texture of the paper through the marker? I love it. I love the natural variation you get.

BACKGROUNDS & OTHER DETAILS: Color everything else! Backgrounds and shadows generally. For backgrounds I'm once again using my alternative brands. I've got a lot of space to cover, and those markers, along with being cheaper, are generally larger than my Copics. So it works out.

Sometimes I tend to go a bit wild with the single color backgrounds, to the point where I think it can get distracting. So I have to rein it in and leave some panels with white backgrounds, so the reader isn't just blasted with colors from every angle. My rule of thumb is to try and only have color on one panel in each of my lines of panels, and to alternate sides, if possible. I feel like that guides the eye easier.

Doing things traditionally means I don't really get any shortcuts when it comes to backgrounds, including just flat color backgrounds. Every square millimeter has gotta be colored purposefully by me. And maybe that seems like a pointless use of time and effort! But man, I love the end result. I'm all for shortcuts, it's just a lot of the ones I see floating around don't apply to me 🤣

I'll talk about my other steps here too, might as well.

SCANNING: After colors and everything, I scan the pages. They're too big to fit in my scanner, so I scan the top and bottom halves separately, and stitch them together (I use PhotoStitcher).

From there, I rotate it to (more or less) make it straight on my canvas, make a .clip version, and send it off to my iPad!

I got my iPad in a workplace raffle, and though there's a lot about the UI I don't love, it's been really convenient!

EDITING: Editing consists of: cleaning up things that should be white (like eyes, teeth, and word balloons), and then cleaning up marker that's bled over into areas it doesn't belong, and is distracting. I try not to overdo it on marker cleanup, because 1) it takes a while, 2) it can stress me out if I decide I need it all to be PERFECT, and 3) it feels slightly disingenuous, just TO ME, about my OWN work. I don't think 3) is valid, so I try to ignore that part, but sometimes in my head I'm like 'mm but Jacki can you say its traditional if you have to do so much work in post to make it presentable??' (said in a very snobby voice). I went from not really caring -> REALLY caring -> hopefully I'll get to caring a reasonable amount.

FINISHING: Last steps are to send it BACK to my computer, where I have two auto actions to size the page and to export it as a .png in a large and a small size. I should be rightfully criticized for how I size the pages lmao, it's 2647x3560 pixels. Why that number specifically? That's 1) how I've done it since the beginning, so they are all this very strange size, and 2) it's about the maximum area of scanned page I can consistently get.

I think that's it? I don't know why you would, but if you have any questions, feel free to hit me up and I'll answer them to the best of my ability. Hope someone finds this interesting or helpful LOL

bye 💕 happy webcomic day!

[will80sbyers]

One of the things that made me stop reading analyses in the Byler fandom is how people just tend to pick 'parallels' that they like while ignoring or dismissing other parallels that do not suit their takes. Especially the most/more obvious parallels that are put on the show. For example Byler being paralleled to other romantic ships show that byler is also romantic but apparently Mlvn being paralleled to Byler and other romantic ships don't count as a romantic parallel. Mike being paralleled to Vickie apparently isn't a parallel because it doesnt support the intended *parallel meaning*. They literally framed Vickie and Mike in the same way and gave them same lines while paralleling Vickie's ex and El, and Will/Robin.

People will analyze all Byler scenes back and forth to show how it's romantic meanwhile completely ignoring Mlvn's romantic moments on the show. Even when Byler itself literally parallels Mlvn..... And it happens all the time not just with parallels but with other stuff like framing/editing or set design clues.

And these are not even ''minuscule details'' or ''subext'' stuff that you have to analyse. They are like the most obvious parallels that the show put.

Dont get me wrong, i like finding clues and reading analyses but they just kinda feel extremely... disingenuous sometimes when you just pick stuff that you like while ignoring other stuff just bc it doesnt support your argument.

Yeah, I get why you feel like this!!

I don't understand the point of ignoring those parallels too, the existence of byler-minteven parallels is part of why I can't think Matrioska is not romantic, that and like also the framing of their scenes where they are framed with a romantic meaning very very often, especially in the first seasons but also in season 4 they have some moments framed as romantic too!

I didn't stop reading the theories because of that though, I hear people out many times even if I don't personally agree and I like seeing all the little details that maybe could be intentional... But I do stop reading the theories in the posts when they are phrased in a way that sounds pretentious to me or seems like they are saying that if you don't think that then you are stupid, but even in that case I just ignore it as long as there is no biphobic idea involved I'm fine with people ignoring what they want to ignore in the show... I just don't care xD

I think it's also a thing about a different interpretation of stuff, I tend to not be able to ignore the big picture of what I see all together, so stuff like the "boys only" thing or the drawing in El's room etc doesn't seem like a good enough reason to say Mike is gay to me I see it as sort of general queer coding for Mike like saying "from now on for you it's only one boy aka Will"

But I also see him as acting genuine with El and also liking kissing her a lot in s3 and other people watch that and are convinced he hates it because he moves her hands...so I just think it's all about the subject that is watching for some things and it can never be super objective because of that unless you are literally the writers

But you know, I still think they all should be allowed to ignore what they want tbh even if I think taking that into consideration gives the best fair judgement on the show if you try to be the most objective possible by looking at everything... but like I'm not here to police people about what they should talk about in the tag so I just skip it and continue my day lol I get annoyed if the arguments used are clearly born from biphobia, for the rest I don't care much tbh

in the end it's not that important if he's gay or bi or just queer the important thing is that he's happy and kissing Will Byers next season

But I definitely still think he's a messy bisexual until they confirm he's not, because that's what makes sense to me for now 🌈

[chayscribbles]

chayscribbles’ monthly writing update ☆ february 2023

☆ STATISTICS.

words written: 11 606

projects worked on: Andromeda Rogue; The Gemini Heist; and a Third, Secret WIP

proudest accomplishment: i'm about halfway through with AR1 draft 2! and i finished like, a bunch of drawings

books read: Architects of Memory by Karen Osborne; All Systems Red (Murderbot Diaries #1) by Martha Wells;

☆ GENERAL COMMENTS.

why do i feel like i wrote a lot less than i actually did. like i looked at my total and thought "now that can't be right... there's no way i wrote that much."

things are going better for some wips (AR) than they are for others (GH) so maybe my head is cancelling it out lol.

reading comments: Architects of Memory was basically "a corporate war over alien weapons featuring messy sapphics in space" and i liked it but it wasn't quite a coup de coeur, 4/5 stars. All Systems Red was an absolute delight, 5/5 stars, will be reading the rest of the series once my holds on Libby come through.

(also i started reading Hell Bent by Leigh Bardugo this past weekend, and i blame it + it's precursor Ninth House for putting me in the mood to work on Third Secret WIP lately, as Ninth House is partially responsible for the genre shift in Third Secret WIP.)

more specific wip-related comments + featured excerpt below.

☆ COMMENTS: ANDROMEDA ROGUE (draft 2)

i'm about halfway through this draft! i've passed 40k this month!

things are going super well. when i have the magical combo of time and energy and motivation to write i can get through scenes pretty easily, now that i don't have to worry about overall plot as much. plus i get to add little things here and there to beef it up.

i've mostly worked on the second act this month, which is where the team really starts going through things together.

there's one particular Azami chapter right before the midpoint that's a monster of lore-dropping. i had to rework it several times as i had an entire page of editing notes to make sure everything is coherent... and i'm still not entirely sure i've gotten it right 😭

☆ COMMENTS: THE GEMINI HEIST (outlining / draft 0.5)

not much to say about this one. didn't work on it as much. the plot for this wip continues to frustrate me. i'll find myself coming up with little ideas for the characters and the world... but when i try to sit down and come up with actual scenes and plot, my brain turns to soup.

☆ COMMENTS: THIRD, SECRET WIP

this wip is consuming me. devouring me with its teeth. i'm surprised to find i may actually have a plot. turns out letting it hibernate for 3 years and tweaking with the genre has done some good.

i might cave and post an intro in the next month. stay tuned...

☆ FEATURED EXCERPT.

this is from the like, one scene i wrote for gemini heist this month. i just think it's funny. for context, Leo and Gabi are trying to get access to some archives in a university library, and are posing as students.

As [Leo and the archivist] talked, Gabi slipped her hand into the pocket of her ridiculous jacket. Her fingers closed around a small round device. She glanced around. While Leo was doing a great job at keeping the archivist distracted, the commotion had caught the attention of nearly everyone in the room.

Just be normal, she told herself. She inched her hand out of her pocket.

“Which archives exactly do you need access to?” [the archivist] asked.

“Art of the early Viheldan Empiric era,” Leo said. “My paper is on the Gemini statuettes.”

“Ah, that might be why. You need a special authorization form from a professor or another faculty member to access those.”

Leo pouted. “But my professor said he got access for me!”

“Perhaps you can message him—”

“Ugh— can’t you just call him right now and ask? I don’t have time for this.”

“Alright. I’ll give him a call.”

Shit. Gabi wasn’t ready. She fumbled to take out the device, concealing it as best as she could in the palm of her hand. All she needed was to place it on the archivist’s computer terminal without him seeing a thing before he made that call.

The archivist’s fingers hovered over the screen for a second before pressing an icon at the bottom. With a starburst motion of his hand, he expanded a search window and began typing in the name of the professor. Panicking, Gabi slammed the device in her hand onto the side of the terminal.

The already quiet room went completely silent. All eyes turned towards her. The archivist’s were wide and stunned. Leo’s were sharp and furious.

“I, uh,” Gabi sputtered, awkwardly keeping her hand glued to the terminal. The device whirred to life, vibrating softly under her palm. “I-I thought I saw a bug.”

☆ TAGLISTS. let me know if you want to be added/removed to any of them.

general taglist:

@nicola-writes @dgwriteblr @the-orangeauthor @retrogayyde @quilloftheclouds @ashen-crest @writeblrfantasy @celestepens @stardustspiral @pepperdee @extra-magichours @avi-why @lefttigerobservation @chazzawrites @bardolatrycore @innocentlymacabre

andromeda trilogy taglist:

@bebewrites @nicola-writes @dgwriteblr @the-orangeauthor @retrogayyde @akindofmagictoo @quilloftheclouds @nora-theteawriter @ashen-crest @corpsepng @writeblrfantasy @toboldlywrite @celestepens @stardustspiral @pepperdee @cheerfulmelancholies @extra-magichours @writeouswriter @cilly-the-writer @lefttigerobservation @rose-bookblood @drowsy-quill @chazzawrites @cynic-and-chief @enchanted-lightning-aes @aesa

gemini heist taglist:

@florraisons @akindofmagictoo @cream-and-tea @nicola-writes @memento-morri-writes @antique-symbolism @rose-bookblood @afoolandathief @pepperdee @avi-why @zonnemaagd @chazzawrites @analogued @enchanted-lightning-aes @innocentlymacabre @kahvilahuhut @celestepens @cilly-the-writer @extra-magichours @retrogayyde

[canmom]

L'Aventur de Canmom à Annecy - Mercredi 4: WTF 2023

WTF (read 'what the fuck' in a heavy French accent) seems to be a kind of annual collection of weird online shit. Titmouse is involved in some capacity, although I don't think they're necessarily the ones who picked the films. And while I did recognise one selection (umami had a film) most of it was new to me and there were some crazy good ones...

... but most of all the atmosphere of the late night screening was amazing. I got in at the last minute and somehow ended up in a reserved seat for Titmouse, since I guess they didn't show? Which meant I had one of the best views in the house. The theatre was completely packed and full of excitement.

So then this guy comes out in the skintight purple vest and cape and rainbow stockings. The boss of Titmouse comes on stage and picked up one of the paper planes to invite whoever threw it to come and bite a balloon in half (which would have been a better bit if the person actually did it).

Then came the directors of the films, mostly to tell jokes ("there's too much business and not enough fucking at Annecy" declared one director, instructing us to have sex tonight). After these guys... some Gobelins instructors came out to throw shirts into the crowd, people went absolutely nuts for these shirts. Then: films.

Actually a bunch of these are available online so... here, watch along x3

To open we had this stop motion earworm, Du vélo à St-Malo, du kayak à St-Briac. By the second chorus, the audience was singing along. The images are a bit lolrandom but I can't deny it's infectious in its editing.

Next up came the debut of David by Patrick Ward, about a seriously injured footballer confronting his rival framed through the story of David and Goliath. Lots of little visual jokes that made it flow even if the overall thrust of the story remained a little opaque to me.

Umami's Safe Mode was a natural fit; if you've seen an Umami film you know what to expect. Surreal character designs and a guy with a monotone voice. Looking forward to more of this series.

The Rubbings of Trajectories by Cheng-Hsu Chung from Taiwan took things in a rather Adventure Time direction in its drawing style, full of wild perspective shifts and morphing. I was a little too caught up in the visuals to take a lot from the voiceover lol.

Insomnie by Paul Utkay leaned on Stable Diffusion interpolation for its surreal shifting visuals. This was I think the only time, besides the one after this, I've seen AI in the festival, and right now the main use of AI seems to be like this, a visual effect.

Following this came Two Gracious Uncles Smooched To The Beat (currently password locked so I can't embed it) by Jon Dunleavy, a completely frenetic sendup of the whole AI art 事件. Rather than being made by AI it's mostly deliberately janky cgi, rapidfire jokes, and wrong subtitles as an extra layer, which made for a fun watch. The thesis was maybe something like, "this is all a bit silly". As a programming move, putting this right after the AI film was kind of genius.

A Kind of Testament by Stephen Vuillemin was simply fantastic, absolutely the highlight of this collection. The framing device is that a woman stumbles on a website created by another older woman with the same name as her, consisting of incredibly elaborate animations based on her social media photos. As we watch more, we learn more about this mysterious animator, who died shortly after the protagonist contacted her. Ultimately though this framing device is just a vehicle for some really tight imaginatively grotesque shorts that gradually start to connect up more and more. I hesitate to call it ero-guro because it's not exactly ero, but it definitely put me in mind of e.g. shintaro kago. the framing device works just right, linking the shorts and providing a certain frame for interpretation - the animator is terminally ill, so jokes about foot killing parasites and regrets make sense - without being overbearing. honestly just a really great film, the perfect level of enigmatic. i hope i can show more than the trailer some day.

Internet Gaga by Reinhild Bidner slammed into a much faster pace, a pastiche of Radio Gaga by Queen with the music video consisting mainly of cutout animation and AI deepfake animation of memes. Two minutes was about the right length for this lol. But yeah, haha, the internet, what a mess amirite

Todo está perdido by Carla Pereira Docampo and Juan Francisco Jacinto Prados was a fascinating oddity though. Stop motion, with these wildly distorted models - built in forwards or backwards slants and birdlike eyes. The story concerns a suburban nuclear family where the mother lays eggs, which they mostly eat, but decide to fertilise one one day, resulting in a baby with a wrinkled head hatching. The B plot concerns their other child who gets a rat inside her skin by accident during surgery. As you can imagine it went for the squick reactions. I can't find an online video of this one but here's a previous project by the same directors.

From this point on things got pretty wild. First up we had Uncle Babysitter 2 by Tung Yin Ng aka Tungwood.

as far as toilet humour goes? This was actually great, just relentless gleeful escalation. I got to chat a bit with Tungwood and his friends after the films, and funnily enough he was very shy and would run up to people saying 'souvenir' and give them a card for the film. It was very funny talking to a group of animators, which in my eyes is like the peak of the world's professions, and have them act impressed when i say I'm a game dev.

Anyway, this was a really fun short about a baby's adventure inside a man's stomach as the man desperately tries to pull him out. The breakneck editing really makes the stupid jokes work, it's kinda Imaishi in that way.

Granny X by DD Sheahan relaxed the pace only barely, telling the story of an old lady in a nursing home having a vivid lesbian fantasy that in the waking world leads to her careening around strangling nurses and stuff. It was fun visually, although the humour seemed generally a little meaner.

Monsterfuckers by the Tohu Animation Collective led by Ori Goldberg was something like a multi animator project with loops contributed by different animators around the vague prompt of monsters having sex. So this one's like, straight up porn but weird porn so it gets to be in here lol. The editing to the music was tight and many of the clips were really creative - but no sign of it online as yet so I can't show you.

We were really on a roll at this point. The final part was the music video for Cool Party by Simon Medard for a band called Cocaine Piss, which pushed the jank factor to maximum. It didn't do a lot for me but it kept the energy going. After that we spilled out onto the lawn outside Bonlieu and everyone gathered in small groups. Not really wanting to just walk away, I inserted myself into conversations here and there, said some nice things to the showrunner, met Tungwood... and then at last time to go home, packed on the last bus like sardines.

Honestly, even if it could have been a little weirder to be truly 'what the fuck', this event was a blast. I mean you know how much I like this kind of thing lmao.

As for Thursday... haha god it's 2am. I'll write about it tomorrow... or maybe on Saturday... but the very short version is that I saw Art College 1994 (solid, donghua with a realist style and richard linklater energy), Kensuke's Kingdom (impressively elaborate adaptation of a Michael Morpurgo story, had a bit of an Iron Giant feel visually), White Plastic Sky (a very compelling scifi dystopian drama from Hungary in a rotoscoped style similar to A Scanner Darkly), stood in line for two hours for Mars Express and still didn't get in, watched a bit of Perspectives block 1 (mostly bad, it's the block for serious social issues rather than compelling storytelling) and then tried Graduation Films 3 (sadly could not live up to Graduation Films 2). So a bit of an unfortunate end to the day but that's how it be sometimes...

Tomorrow I've got another packed day so I'm gonna end up really behind on these writeups but stand by lol. Annecy is amazing, I don't want it to end...

[buefried]

Im gonna copy past bullet points till I can get ti my computer and make a proper post

If you're the kind of person who thinks you need to carrot-on-a-stick yourself into writing by saving the fun part for when you finally write everything that happens before it: Stop. You're probably not a linear writer. You're making yourself suffer for no reason and your writing is probably suffering for it. At least give nonlinear writing a try before you assume you can't write if you're not baiting or forcing yourself into it!!

2. Rereading my own work.I used to hate reading my own work. I wouldn't even edit it usually. I would write it and slap it online and try not to look at it again. XD Writing nonlinearly forced me to start rereading because I needed to make sure scenes connected together naturally and it also made it easier to get into the headspace of the story to keep writing and fill in the blanks and get new inspiration.

Another thing I found from doing this that it became easy to see patterns and themes in my work and strengthen them. Foreshadowing became easy. Setting up for jokes or plot points became easy. I didn't have to plan out my story in advance or write an outline, because the scenes themselves because a sort of living outline on their own.

Ooh this next 2 are my favorite (mainly because I think it's something I struggle with

This also made it easier to let go of the notion that I had to write something exactly right the first time. (People always say you should do this, but how many of us do? It's harder than it sounds! I didn't want to commit to editing later! I didn't want to reread my work! XD) I know I'm going to edit it naturally anyway, so I can feel okay giving myself permission to just write it approximately right and I can fix it later.

GUYS GUYS SAMDOESART JUST DID A VIDEO ON THIS!! LIKE LITERALLY HE SAID AND I QUOTE (I think) "you make the best work when you don't have expectations" (example he made was drawing on your homework, and yk like you don't expect to make anything good but then you do because you didn't care, he explains it more susinctly)

3. Marinating in the headspace of the story.For the first two months I worked on [fic], I did not consume any media other than [fandom the fic is in]. I didn't watch, read, or play anything else. Not even mobile games. (And there wasn't really much fan content for [fandom] to consume either. Still isn't, really. XD) This basically forced me to treat writing my story as my only source of entertainment, and kept me from getting distracted or inspired to write other ideas and abandon this one.

This is why I draw tbh lol

As an aside, I don't think this is a necessary step for writing, but if you really want to be productive in a short burst, I do highly recommend going on a media consumption hiatus. Not forever, obviously! Consuming media is a valuable tool for new inspiration, and reading other's work (both good and bad, as long as you think critically to identify the differences!) is an invaluable resource for improving your writing.

side note this also means pacing yourself, not push yourself (hey that rymed)

Or you need to use the bathroom, eat something, or sleep. XD Seriously, if you're that stuck, assess your current physical condition. You might just be unable to focus because you're uncomfortable and you haven't realized it yet.

Inspiration isn't always linear, so writing doesn't have to be either!

Come back to me in like 8 hours I'm getting on a plane

How I learned to write smarter, not harder

(aka, how to write when you're hella ADHD lol)

A reader commented on my current long fic asking how I write so well. I replied with an essay of my honestly pretty non-standard writing advice (that they probably didn't actually want lol) Now I'm gonna share it with you guys and hopefully there's a few of you out there who will benefit from my past mistakes and find some useful advice in here. XD Since I started doing this stuff, which are all pretty easy changes to absorb into your process if you want to try them, I now almost never get writer's block.

The text of the original reply is indented, and I've added some additional commentary to expand upon and clarify some of the concepts.

As for writing well, I usually attribute it to the fact that I spent roughly four years in my late teens/early 20s writing text roleplay with a friend for hours every single day. Aside from the constant practice that provided, having a live audience immediately reacting to everything I wrote made me think a lot about how to make as many sentences as possible have maximum impact so that I could get that kind of fun reaction. (Which is another reason why comments like yours are so valuable to fanfic writers! <3) The other factors that have improved my writing are thus: 1. Writing nonlinearly. I used to write a whole story in order, from the first sentence onward. If there was a part I was excited to write, I slogged through everything to get there, thinking that it would be my reward once I finished everything that led up to that. It never worked. XD It was miserable. By the time I got to the part I wanted to write, I had beaten the scene to death in my head imagining all the ways I could write it, and it a) no longer interested me and b) could not live up to my expectations because I couldn't remember all my ideas I'd had for writing it. The scene came out mediocre and so did everything leading up to it. Since then, I learned through working on VN writing (I co-own a game studio and we have some visual novels that I write for) that I don't have to write linearly. If I'm inspired to write a scene, I just write it immediately. It usually comes out pretty good even in a first draft! But then I also have it for if I get more ideas for that scene later, and I can just edit them in. The scenes come out MUCH stronger because of this. And you know what else I discovered? Those scenes I slogged through before weren't scenes I had no inspiration for, I just didn't have any inspiration for them in that moment! I can't tell you how many times there was a scene I had no interest in writing, and then a week later I'd get struck by the perfect inspiration for it! Those are scenes I would have done a very mediocre job on, and now they can be some of the most powerful scenes because I gave them time to marinate. Inspiration isn't always linear, so writing doesn't have to be either!

Some people are the type that joyfully write linearly. I have a friend like this--she picks up the characters and just continues playing out the next scene. Her story progresses through the entire day-by-day lives of the characters; it never timeskips more than a few hours. She started writing and posting just eight months ago, she's about an eighth of the way through her planned fic timeline, and the content she has so far posted to AO3 for it is already 450,000 words long. But most of us are normal humans. We're not, for the most part, wired to create linearly. We consume linearly, we experience linearly, so we assume we must also create linearly. But actually, a lot of us really suffer from trying to force ourselves to create this way, and we might not even realize it. If you're the kind of person who thinks you need to carrot-on-a-stick yourself into writing by saving the fun part for when you finally write everything that happens before it: Stop. You're probably not a linear writer. You're making yourself suffer for no reason and your writing is probably suffering for it. At least give nonlinear writing a try before you assume you can't write if you're not baiting or forcing yourself into it!! Remember: Writing is fun. You do this because it's fun, because it's your hobby. If you're miserable 80% of the time you're doing it, you're probably doing it wrong!

2. Rereading my own work. I used to hate reading my own work. I wouldn't even edit it usually. I would write it and slap it online and try not to look at it again. XD Writing nonlinearly forced me to start rereading because I needed to make sure scenes connected together naturally and it also made it easier to get into the headspace of the story to keep writing and fill in the blanks and get new inspiration. Doing this built the editing process into my writing process--I would read a scene to get back in the headspace, dislike what I had written, and just clean it up on the fly. I still never ever sit down to 'edit' my work. I just reread it to prep for writing and it ends up editing itself. Many many scenes in this fic I have read probably a dozen times or more! (And now, I can actually reread my own work for enjoyment!) Another thing I found from doing this that it became easy to see patterns and themes in my work and strengthen them. Foreshadowing became easy. Setting up for jokes or plot points became easy. I didn't have to plan out my story in advance or write an outline, because the scenes themselves because a sort of living outline on their own. (Yes, despite all the foreshadowing and recurring thematic elements and secret hidden meanings sprinkled throughout this story, it actually never had an outline or a plan for any of that. It's all a natural byproduct of writing nonlinearly and rereading.)

Unpopular writing opinion time: You don't need to make a detailed outline.

Some people thrive on having an outline and planning out every detail before they sit down to write. But I know for a lot of us, we don't know how to write an outline or how to use it once we've written it. The idea of making one is daunting, and the advice that it's the only way to write or beat writer's block is demoralizing. So let me explain how I approach "outlining" which isn't really outlining at all.

I write in a Notion table, where every scene is a separate table entry and the scene is written in the page inside that entry. I do this because it makes writing nonlinearly VASTLY more intuitive and straightforward than writing in a single document. (If you're familiar with Notion, this probably makes perfect sense to you. If you're not, imagine something a little like a more contained Google Sheets, but every row has a title cell that opens into a unique Google Doc when you click on it. And it's not as slow and clunky as the Google suite lol) (Edit from the future: I answered an ask with more explanation on how I use Notion for non-linear writing here.) When I sit down to begin a new fic idea, I make a quick entry in the table for every scene I already know I'll want or need, with the entries titled with a couple words or a sentence that describes what will be in that scene so I'll remember it later. Basically, it's the most absolute bare-bones skeleton of what I vaguely know will probably happen in the story.

Then I start writing, wherever I want in the list. As I write, ideas for new scenes and new connections and themes will emerge over time, and I'll just slot them in between the original entries wherever they naturally fit, rearranging as necessary, so that I won't forget about them later when I'm ready to write them. As an example, my current long fic started with a list of roughly 35 scenes that I knew I wanted or needed, for a fic that will probably be around 100k words (which I didn't know at the time haha). As of this writing, it has expanded to 129 scenes. And since I write them directly in the page entries for the table, the fic is actually its own outline, without any additional effort on my part. As I said in the comment reply--a living outline!

This also made it easier to let go of the notion that I had to write something exactly right the first time. (People always say you should do this, but how many of us do? It's harder than it sounds! I didn't want to commit to editing later! I didn't want to reread my work! XD) I know I'm going to edit it naturally anyway, so I can feel okay giving myself permission to just write it approximately right and I can fix it later. And what I found from that was that sometimes what I believed was kind of meh when I wrote it was actually totally fine when I read it later! Sometimes the internal critic is actually wrong. 3. Marinating in the headspace of the story. For the first two months I worked on [fic], I did not consume any media other than [fandom the fic is in]. I didn't watch, read, or play anything else. Not even mobile games. (And there wasn't really much fan content for [fandom] to consume either. Still isn't, really. XD) This basically forced me to treat writing my story as my only source of entertainment, and kept me from getting distracted or inspired to write other ideas and abandon this one.

As an aside, I don't think this is a necessary step for writing, but if you really want to be productive in a short burst, I do highly recommend going on a media consumption hiatus. Not forever, obviously! Consuming media is a valuable tool for new inspiration, and reading other's work (both good and bad, as long as you think critically to identify the differences!) is an invaluable resource for improving your writing.

When I write, I usually lay down, close my eyes, and play the scene I'm interested in writing in my head. I even take a ten-minute nap now and then during this process. (I find being in a state of partial drowsiness, but not outright sleepiness, makes writing easier and better. Sleep helps the brain process and make connections!) Then I roll over to the laptop next to me and type up whatever I felt like worked for the scene. This may mean I write half a sentence at a time between intervals of closed-eye-time XD

People always say if you're stuck, you need to outline.

What they actually mean by that (whether they realize it or not) is that if you're stuck, you need to brainstorm. You need to marinate. You don't need to plan what you're doing, you just need to give yourself time to think about it!

What's another framing for brainstorming for your fic? Fantasizing about it! Planning is work, but fantasizing isn't.

You're already fantasizing about it, right? That's why you're writing it. Just direct that effort toward the scenes you're trying to write next! Close your eyes, lay back, and fantasize what the characters do and how they react.

And then quickly note down your inspirations so you don't forget, haha.

And if a scene is so boring to you that even fantasizing about it sucks--it's probably a bad scene.

If it's boring to write, it's going to be boring to read. Ask yourself why you wanted that scene. Is it even necessary? Can you cut it? Can you replace it with a different scene that serves the same purpose but approaches the problem from a different angle? If you can't remove the troublesome scene, what can you change about it that would make it interesting or exciting for you to write?

And I can't write sitting up to save my damn life. It's like my brain just stops working if I have to sit in a chair and stare at a computer screen. I need to be able to lie down, even if I don't use it! Talking walks and swinging in a hammock are also fantastic places to get scene ideas worked out, because the rhythmic motion also helps our brain process. It's just a little harder to work on a laptop in those scenarios. XD

In conclusion: Writing nonlinearly is an amazing tool for kicking writer's block to the curb. There's almost always some scene you'll want to write. If there isn't, you need to re-read or marinate.

Or you need to use the bathroom, eat something, or sleep. XD Seriously, if you're that stuck, assess your current physical condition. You might just be unable to focus because you're uncomfortable and you haven't realized it yet.

Anyway! I hope that was helpful, or at least interesting! XD Sorry again for the text wall. (I think this is the longest comment reply I've ever written!)

And same to you guys on tumblr--I hope this was helpful or at least interesting. XD Reblogs appreciated if so! (Maybe it'll help someone else!)

[castle-dominion]

5x13 recoil

OOH PLOT HEAVY

I love the editing in the clips here, we get the info we need, but also while I'm sure we all remember that some ppl were killed, like roy montgomery, we also get to see the dramatic clip of him getting shot & lockwood with blood on his face & these things are mostly for the drama, not the recap, really really well done bc we still get the recap.

I also like how she hits him immediately after he says he has the power.

Garbage can fire babey. gonna be a dead body. See? Plenty of people throw up when they see (& probs smell) a dead body burning!

RC: Well, I haven’t met him or approved of him yet, so it can’t be serious. All suitors must be met and intimidated by me personally before they can be considered for official boyfriend status. So true

Ew yucky

no dental records then... Ryan looks nice lol. & esposito's jacket is nice

Ryan pretty but meh. Esposito perfectly fine but meh Castle also pretty enough. Becks looks shiny shirt dc!? multiple times in just 20m? Might as well stay on the line.

Why would the boyf have an unlisted number? oh no ooof oof oof ooooooof she left a message hhhh

the phone falls & clatters... oof that is the best... except how would she end the recording? AFTER the phone clatters? the audio changes during "happens" like she moved to a different area, or passed a wall

Yeah smth falls & then like a ring hits the wall zippo? Or maybe he was ALREADY burning the body

Yeah lol u can't remember ppl when you are seeing a hundred a night, or more. unless she comes here often! She was a high end prostitute! BRACKEN? oh of course it was him, this is a plot heavy ep.

No wonder the phone call. & also dealt with OTHER people too! He did not just kill melanie & johanna & attempt beckett, & also raglan & montgomery & mccallister & possibly those other two lawyers or whoever beckett nice coat lol.

ESPOSITO NICE JACKET (& nice scarf on ryan) JE: You know, I was really hoping the next time I saw this guy would be down the barrel of my gun.

*fidgeting with his hand hanging by his legs* Met her there works for you non-paid consultant *stops* I know where I've seen you. I can't believe that he doesn't already have pics of beckett's close circles: friends, work, family,, gym

of COURSE he wouldn't do it himself! Ooh y'all got the fbi to do analysis? Nice! My grampa was able to tell what car, make model, year, idk, just by the sound of the engine.

Why do they need sirens on? They Ooh audio. Echo, loud, yells, I love it when ryan yells beckett's name. Why would they draw a diagram of the gun & do that sort of thing?

I thought beckett was ryan for a sec. That shiny suit jacket, I loved it, really shows off her waist. Then I realized ryan is amab he does not have a waist that small. Becks looks great tho & I like her with her hair back like that. Castle's red jacket & dark shirt are nice too & gates looks good with her red shirt adding colour from behind her black jacket/cardigan. Oh & ryan! light purple shirt with a square pattern (love that for ryan), dark thin tie (I'd call it black but it is not that dark) with multicoloured tiny equally sized polka dots, vest, ooh he's good. I grabbed a pic but idk if it is any good. at least I got a pic of beckett. Update from later in the episode: HIS WAISTCOAT HAS A SHINY SILVERY BACK PANEL SDLKFKSJFDLSKJF & it is tied in such a way that it hugs his hips man I'm such a lesbian fot him (both men) sounds like a disguise bright red shiny tie, really pops

this guy is assassinating him. that's why he insists that the senator goes. Gates my beloved Man has a jacket AND a coat. At least they are different colours

ugh the way she gestures for him to take a seat hhhhh so gooooood KB: Senator Bracken, do you have any enemies? Is there anyone you can think of that would like to kill you? cough cough WB: A man doesn’t get to my position without upsetting people along the way. Most of them aren’t crazy enough to want to kill me. (he gestures) Present company excluded.

JE: I’ll tell you something. If I’m her, I sit in there shuffling papers until whoever it is puts a bullet in Bracken’s head. KR: KR: No you wouldn’t. Because that would make you no better than he is. (well you are just not changing the trolley path. He's the one who tied people to it.) JE: The guy murdered Beckett’s mother. Captain Montgomery. Who knows who else?. ((exactly!)) Bracken’s got it coming to him. So I say let it come. KR: *uncomfy* I mean just two episodes ago esposito threatened to kill someone.

Nice pattern on esposito's shirt. Not an actual pattern, just the weave of it making it textured almost like heather. 24 hours exactly?

RC: Man, these people need to get a life. Most of these guys it seems like their only companionship is the space alien that talks to them through their microwave. *coincidentally finds the letter just as she says that* RC: No, I did actually. I liked the way you uh, dotted the ‘I’ in kill with a little heart. It was a nice touch. Oh yeah chinese food babey Man doesn't take his mug to the break room to wash it?? wait it was not the same writing my bad. it is all caps... In fact, it is the same letter, it was a rough draft.

Senator Bracken When you sleep at night do you dream of the blood dripping off your hands leaking into the ground filling up the valleys and the craters with new lakes and oceans lake hemoglobins the red ocean rivers of blood or do you drift away to some peaceful place unburdened by the endless bodies piling on your shoulders always more bodies never ending as you count the sheep dancing over fences but it isn't the sheep that calm your icy nerves it is their destination as they leap the fence toward the slaug//hter how their bleats and screams must fill that cavity in your chest where a heart should be with bostalgic joy for the suffering you have caused so many he was a boy a precious boy so filled with hope and aspirations and you took that in and you fed on him that boy my boy in the lion's den there is no way to avoid the night calls and the roats of the fearsome loathsome ((cut off)) ((Not going back to change typos; I touch typed this & my touch typing needs work))

Ooh the music also it is late she managed an appointment at this time of night? Are you sure that he is much worse? The one you can live with oof burning...

Coffee <3 Ryan looks nice, his clothes are dark which is less common. espt is wearing some kind of zip up hoodie like that's professional. Becks nice brown leather jacket with a good shape to it. "nothing significant"

Seeing gates with the half sister she kept the eltter phew

Why is castle Sitting at ryan's desk & then ryan leaning over castle pointing the stuff out to him? *interrupts* *looks at the letter while walking back & giving directions*

JE: I’m pretty sure we left Patterson five shops ago. *smacks the badge on the door* "How you doing?" McManus

Ryan looking like my hair lol

*sees him* Oh ooh ooh ooh it's him *shoots just a bit late*

No, castle. She did not miss. (tho it's kind of messed up that when they think that this fellow is an assassin you're allowed to shoot them...) you didn't & that's the good part. *hides her tears*

Not only do you know him but you also looked into him so you know about him. People say ryan is the touchy feely one in terms of emotions & yeah he himself acknowledged the cheesiness of the toast he was giving at the double date last season but esposito is the one to approach kate & talk to her.

She's good She's revealing that!? don't you remember what happened last time you revealed personal information without knowing who is behind the glass? gates is a cop tho, she was a detective, she does interrogations, she can see becks is truthing this room is so big & empty, DP did well. he DOES control everyone lol robert points to three people behind the glass lol, he can't see them blood on OUR hands. She's right, it is in hers bc she let him go! Except if she shot him he would not be available for questioning he might even be dead.

Oh thank goodness, we all thought gates was talking to her about That

What did you say that was right about her?

RC: Check this out. What better way to celebrate the end of a difficult case then with a bottle of – (he trails off when he sees her work) – what are you doing? YEAH NO IF HE'S OFF HIS MEDS THAT AIN'T GOOD KB: And what about Melanie’s body? He burned it and he knocked out her teeth to keep it unidentifiable. Me: Schiz often comes with paranoia, he wanted to be safe KB: And then he leaves a duffle bag in a stolen car for us to find? Me: ... That is not very meticulous of him......

I don't (usually) smoke & I still have a lighter & matchbook music hhh not ALL the evidence, remember? Right, people OFTEN believe that the psychoaffected people don't know what they're doing or are dangerous or planted the bomb, nobody would look further into it

If you're right then you have gained his trust back. 41319 is her badge # btw

secondary area search? man is upset. He lost his temper, this is not normal.

THE LIGHTER I play with em like that too lol WHAT IF THE LIGHTER IS A DETONATOR btw I was right! It IS the assistant person (no they are both just nondescript white guys)

He was BESIDE the car, even if beckett was NOT there he would have been fine

Castle just TACKLED that guy

Five years, long play. Or paid money lol CASTLE ADMITTING HE WOULD HAVE STOOD & WATCHED

Ryan nice light grey jacket, pink shirt, possibly striped, dark tie to contrast, ugh he's so good. Esposito just wearing the kind of "I'm at home today" clothes I wear "just like you would have done" WB: Someone who’s gotten rich making powerful people promises that I need to keep. ((PARDON ME?)) What does a kingmaker do when the king no longer follows orders?

WB: You saved my life. KB: (rolls her eyes) Yeah well, you can’t win ‘em all, can you? a friend? He's right when he says "If I said no, would you really believe me?"

Nice transition to watching tv at home Benjamin Moss? Ah kingmaker. "plane crash" or "car accident" better story. oof.

Wow I'm half an hour ahead of schedule! I started watching at 9.30, so I should have been done the day's first ep by 11 but I was 20m early, now I should have been done by 12.30 & it is only five after, I'm doing well!

[grievedeeply]

Ahh my matchup was for rose earlier lol sorry it was like 3 in the morning for me- not too many brain cells then 💀

Male and Female - The Quarry

My Name is Rose, I got by all pronouns but mainly they/she. I’m pan with no real leaning, so both male and female would be great for me! I draw quite a bit and spend my time watching game plays. I wear glasses, have faded blue dyed hair (natural brown on top white on bottom now), I’m also littered with freckles. I write in my free time. I’m the proud owner of two cats, no dogs since I fear big ones.

My favorite things consist of

- art

-music

-editing

-everything 80’s

-pink

-badly timed humor

Lol again very sorry for not including a lot this morning! Have a safe and fun day <3 ~ Ro

Ps. Dylan in the 80s fit for my troubles

i love the dylan picture <3 he looks so good

i match you with... abi!

she's super into art and she talks about it with you a lot. she asks you for your advice on what she draws, even though she's a bit self conscious about her work

she loves your hair! she dyes her hair a lot and she talks about it with you sometimes, asking for what color she should do next. she thinks your hair, no matter what color, always looks good on you

she really likes your freckles. she thinks they're adorable and she has a habit of counting them whenever she's close enough to you to see them

she has a small music taste so she's happy to listen to what you like. she'll end up enjoying it even if it's out of the norm for her

i match you with... nick!

he loves your cats. he's a dog person for sure but he also understands your fear and his preferences don't stop him from making best friends with your cats

he'll always compliment you on your artistic skills. he can't draw for the life of him and sometimes he'll just lay around with you while you're doodling. it keeps him grounded

he's fascinated by your hair. he hasn't ever done anything to his before but now he's starting to think he should because of how good you look with dyed hair

he takes your glasses off of your face as a way to flirt with you. it's endearing and he always gives them back after a few minutes. he just likes looking at your face a lot

[formigabionica]

To add on to what @becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys has said, what they touch on at the end is what I think makes the bullet journal system most attractive and differentiates it from a planner: its versatility. I've been using a bullet journal since 2018 and it's taken many forms for me. It can be what you want and it can change depending on what you NEED.

Yes, it can work like a planner, so if you only need it to organise tasks and deadlines, schedule in future events and activities and remind myself of what needs doing, it can do that. In my case, if that was all I needed for my quirky brain (possibly ADD, waiting on a diagnosis) to not get overwhelmed, then a planner would do fine! But like OP said, a planner can be a bit stressful if it is too rigid and constrictive. I don't always need tasks scheduled at specific times. More importantly, I also need space to jot down ideas, thoughts that come into my head that I can't deal with right now thanks, I'm busy, I'll think about it later, I'll just write it down somewhere so I don't forget! I need to sketch out mind maps about the topic I'll be teaching next and draw that nice bird I saw in the park. If I had a traditional planner, I would be stressing about where all of that would go, or I'd have to carry around another notebook just for that and have both at the ready all the time.

If you follow the "original" Ryder Carroll BuJo method, it is simple and robust enough to use as a work or life planner. But it is also completely adaptable to what works best for you! I can easily keep track of tasks, cross off things I have finished, go back and find things I haven't done yet, and schedule in new things for the future. And if I'm in a meeting or have a sudden need to jot an idea down, I've got the space to do that without worrying! It can take more time to organise than a planner, as you have to write out dates and create the future log and monthly log etc, but if you do it yourself you can cater to your own personal needs.

As a more visual example, here are some pictures of my last notebook and what I used it for. Some of this has changed over time and I tried out several things until I found what worked best for me. Please note I am bilingual and learning mandarin Chinese, so there's a weird mix of languages. I have also edited these to keep out personal details.

First, a very sparse future log (for keeping track of the next 6 months, in my case), and my preferred monthly log format (art by yashassegawa on insta).

Below on the left, a normal page with three consecutive days in which I was mostly teaching and had a few meetings, so not many notes were taken. On the right, a very busy week over the holidays, where I had to visualise the next few days a bit more clearly to schedule in all the things I was going to do.

Edit: some notes on my system, which is almost identical to the original BuJo one. Dots are for tasks, I cross them when the task is done (sometimes I forget, tbh). Circles, "O", are for events, appointments, meetings, etc. and I fill them in when it's happened and is done. Dashes are for notes, with indented arrows as subtopics. If I don't need to do something anymore or an event is cancelled I just strike it through (or forget about it).

And lastly some random pages: notes on how to care for a plant, a fun little drawing using stickers by @carefree-ghost, and notes taken while I was translating a scientific paper on phytoplankton diversity in a river (I studied physics at university and knew nothing about phytoplankton, so I had to keep checking how to correctly translate the new jargon lol):

So yeah, here's an example of how someone can use a bullet journal differently from a planner. But everyone's will look different and be used differently. Mine might not look pretty or be hard to understand if you're not me, but that's just how my brain works and it definitely helps me with what I need it for! And that's what matters :)

Asking in completely good faith here - how is a bullet journal different from an already made planner?

I have a daily planner that has hourly increments and a place for notes. I color code it in terms of meetings, appointments, to-do list. I just put everything in there and it's for the year so if it's something for a future date I just flip to that date and put the item on that date. I check off my to do list during the day and anything I don't get done, I just put on the next day's to do list.

I'm just curious how a bullet journal differs?

Without actually seeing your planner and how it's set up/your system for it, I probably can't give an accurate answer. Plus I'm very new to this and still learning the basics. But my guess is it's probably in the simplification and customisation of a bullet journal.

There's a funnelling effect of going year-month-days that I think I personally am finding particularly useful - when I work out what I need to do for the day, I'm finding it very helpful to be able to go back to the monthly list and remind myself of tasks that have completely dropped off my radar because I was busy hyper focusing on something else. There have been points where I haven't completed a task, too, but haven't wanted/been able to migrate it to the next day; it's helpful to be able to pick it up days later instead. Again, the monthly log is great for that.

Àlso, for me personally, hourly increments would make me feel stressed, I think. But bullet journals are just notebooks, so you can space things however you like, which for me means avoiding adding phantom time pressures. I think that's probably the real answer - a bullet journal gives you freedom to arrange everything however you personally find it most helpful.

But, you know, you've found a system that works!

[digital-corruption]

This is probably not very well edited since I kept getting interrupted. 😒

Haunted by the Past Part 65

Back at the apartment Jake secluded himself to his office with all of the new gear. I was told he had to write his own custom modifications to get everything to work how he wanted it and ensure it would behave how it should on the day. In other words, it was time for serious Jake things so I left him alone to work on dinner.

Jake was so completely absorbed in his work that he didn’t even notice me serving dinner onto plates or me calling to him. I walked over to get his attention, but he was so focused on his programming that I couldn’t find it in me to interrupt him. I grabbed my plate and took it to the table to eat resigning to the fact I’d be eating alone, except I accidentally dropped my fork on the way.

“Is dinner done already?” Jake asked from the doorway.

“Oh, yes, I was about to eat,” I smiled as I headed back for a new fork.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he frowned.

“I did, like three times,” I laughed.

“Sorry,” he mumbled as he grabbed his plate.

We sat down at the table together to eat our dinner. Well, I ate. Jake shovelled food into his mouth, then took his plate back to the kitchen and went back to his office. I was alone again and sighed.

“It's going to take me a while,” Jake suddenly stuck his head out again. “I can feel the deadline looming, MC. For your sake, I can't get distracted.”

“It’s ok. You do Jake things,” I tried to mask my loneliness.

After finishing my dinner, I took my plate to the kitchen and cleaned up. Feeling a bit unsettled, I made myself a hot drink and took it to the couch to check on things on my phone. Sipping my drink, I could not find anything of importance to keep myself entertained. I eventually found myself in the never-ending pit of Youtube videos, as one does when bored. Dan must’ve sensed my boredom as he started sending me ridiculous memes.

MC: Haha, those are great

Dan: She lives!

MC: Of course I live

Dan: I don’t know, it is hard to tell if it’s really you or THAT guy

MC: WTH, Jake doesn’t try to impersonate me

Dan: Kidnappers have been known to do such things

MC: I haven’t been kidnapped

Dan: Graet, then let’s hang out! I've got whisky here wiht your name on it!

MC: ... Are you drunk?

Dan: Pfft no!

MC: How many glasses have you had?

Dan: Two

Dan: Three?

Dan: ... Four...

MC: Right, I see. What’s the occasion this time?

Dan: Ugh the sisters are arguing again. Hannah this Lilly that. It does my head in.

MC: What about?

Dan: Everything? Anything?

Dan: Not that I can blmae Lilly. Hannah's been picking fights.

MC: Wow, that sucks

Dan: Thank you!

Dan: I cant even get Tommy boy to join me.

Dan: “Naw I gotta stick with Hannah. I can’t leave her alone right now. She needs me. Blah blah crowman blah.’

Dan: MC join me!

MC: You know I can’t

Dan: Bullshit!

Dan: You’re no better than the rest of them

Dan: Godamnit I miss Jessy...

MC: I miss her too, Dan

Dan: That car idiot too

Dan: Fuck it! Ill just drink alone then

Dan is offline.

I threw my head back into the cushion. Sorry Hannah, but I kind of missed the old days of playing silly drawing games with our friends. It felt horrible to think it when she was suffering then, but those were such innocent times. Even knowing now that we were being deceived, it was just simpler then. We have to bring this nonsense to a close, once and for all.

MC: Hey Cleo

Cleo is online.

Cleo: Hey! How are you?

MC: Alright, you?

Cleo: Yeah, well, can’t complain. What’s up?

MC: I was just thinking, it’s probably time to remove Jessy and Richy from the group chat.

Cleo: Yeah, you’re probably right. Best to do it before the next big thing happens.

MC: Plus Dan is currently drunk and not paying attention

Cleo: lol ok

Cleo: Oof, can you do it? Pressing the button is harder than I thought.

MC: Sure, no prob

I took a deep breath and went to the group chat. My finger hovered over the kick button for a few moments before finally making contact.

Jessy was removed from the group chat.

Richy was removed from the group chat.

I went back to the private chat with Cleo.

MC: There I did it

Cleo: Sorry for making you do that

MC: No sweat

Meanwhile in the group chat.

Dan is online.

Dan: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?

Cleo: Dan, please, it was time

Dan: YOU DIDN’T EVEN IT DISCUS IT WIT THE RSET OF US!

MC: Dan, I am the one who did it.

Lilly is online.

Lilly: What is going on?

Dan: THEY FUCKIJG KICKED THEM!

Thomas is online.

Thomas: Whoa, what?

Cleo: Look, we had good reason to.

MC: It’s ok Cleo, let me explain.

Cleo: Go ahead

MC: Jake and I have reason to believe that MWAF is accessing the group chat through one of the two accounts.

MC: Especially since Jessy’s phone was never recovered, it is a security risk.

Hannah is online.

Lilly: Through one of the two accounts? You mean you can’t even say for sure which one? Then how do you even know that one of them has been compromised?

Thomas: Good point, Lilly

Dan: Fucking good point! I call bullshit!

Hannah: Good riddance

Thomas: Hannah...

Lilly: How can you say that!? They were your friends too!

Lilly: Jessy spent her spare time trying to find you! She died trying to find information on your kidnapper!!

Hannah: lol idiot

Hannah is offline.

Lilly: Thomas!!

Thomas: Let me talk with her, ok?

Dan: Tommy boy it’s time. She needs serious help.

Thomas: She’s seeing serious help!

Thomas: She was making real progress until this whole thing started up again!

Dan: Yeha, why the hell hasn't hacker boy found him?

Dan: He must really suck at what he does

MC: Hey, we've got leads, ok? A lot more than we had before!

Dan: And? Finish it already!

MC: It’s not that easy...

Thomas: I know you two have your own thing going on

Thomas: But is it really more important?

Cleo: Thomas! That's crossing the line!

Lilly: OMG you've been around Hannah for too long

Lilly: Last time I checked, MC was the one getting threats, not Hannah

Lilly: Look, you may still not trust Jake, but I do. Those two found Hannah when the rest of us couldn't, don't forget that.

Cleo: Exactly!

Lilly: If you only knew the gravity of what they're going through...

Thomas: If you only understood how much your sister is suffering!

Thomas is offline.

Dan: Why are you flipping sides!?

Lilly: Because maybe they're right, it's time for us to move on

Dan is offline.

Cleo: For crying out loud

Lilly: And that's why I keep telling him no.

Lilly is offline.

Cleo: Well that went swimmingly!

MC: Like ripping bandages off open wounds...

Cleo: We do have to clean the wounds eventually, right?

MC: Yes of course

Cleo: Ok, see you around!

MC: Bye Cleo

Cleo is offline.

I was left again to my thoughts. What Hannah said bothered me. ‘Good riddance'. Of course, to the others it seemed insensitive, but knowing what I knew, maybe it wasn’t. She kept claiming she didn’t know who kidnapped her, but what if she had been lying. Or maybe she couldn’t admit it, especially not to the others. It would’ve been a very difficult thing to say, I couldn’t blame her.

I locked my phone and put it down next to me. I craved reassurance from Jake like nothing else, but I knew how hard he was working. I still couldn’t stop myself from getting up and peeking through the doorway. There he was, so consumed by his work and yet-

“What’s wrong?” he suddenly asked without looking away from his screen. “The group chat has been very active.”

“You haven’t read it?” I questioned.

“I don’t have time to. Just give me a summary,” he replied.

“I removed Jessy and... Richy from the group chat,” I sighed. “Not everyone took it well.”

“It’s about time. Pretty pointless to keep them in the chat,” he responded flatly.

“That’s not all. I think Hannah knows, Jake,” I sighed.

“I find it hard to believe she wouldn’t,” he said unsurprised.

“You told me not to tell her,” I frowned.

“Knowing and acknowledging are two different things, MC. She’s not necessarily lying whenever she says she didn’t recognize her kidnapper. He’s not the person he made himself out to be. It’s better for her to come to terms with it on her own rather than forcing it upon her,” Jake turned to look at me. “Come here.”

He lowered his chair as I inched closer. As soon as I was within reach he pulled me by my hips down to sit across his lap. I leant into him as he tilted my head against his. One of his hands held the back of my neck while his other arm draped over my legs.

“So much for no distractions,” I teased.

“I can’t ignore you when you’re upset,” he sighed. “All I want to do is hold you.”

“That’s all I need,” I smiled.

“Good, because I don’t know what else to do,” he kissed my forehead.

“Can I stay here?” I knew I was being selfish, but being in his arms just felt so comforting that I didn’t want to leave.

“As long as you don’t mind me doing boring work,” he pulled his chair a bit closer to the desk.

“I’m not too distracting?” I looked at him surprised.

“If you keep talking, yes, but if you want to just stay with me and rest, maybe sleep a little, that’s ok,” he caressed my cheek then twisted his head to kiss my lips sensually.

With just one kiss Jake could make the rest of the world disappear like none of it mattered. As he pulled away, I wrapped my arms around him and snuggled up close against him. He shifted in his chair a bit so we'd both sit a bit more comfortably, then he went back to work. My eyelids grew heavy and I let them close so I could just take in his warmth and his smell.

“I love you,” I mumbled without thinking.

Jake kissed me on the forehead again, “I love you too.”

[jengarie]

#showyourprocess !

From planning to posting, share your process for making creative content!

To continue supporting content makers, this tag game is meant to show the entire process of making creative content: this can be for any creation.

RULES — When your work is tagged, show the process of its creation from planning to posting, then tag up to 5 people with a specific link to one of their creative works you’d like to see the process of. Use the tag #showyourprocess so we can find yours!

Thank you, @rinielle for tagging me! She chose the piece above (original post), and oh boy this one was a whole ass rollercoaster ride! Unfortunately, I hadn't turned on the timelapse feature for this but I'll try to go through each part of the process as best as I can!

The photos I'm gonna upload are gonna be a mix of screenshots and literal photos of my screen, because I'm taking some of them from my updates to friends, since a lot of the steps got lost in my painting process.

But before that, let me tag some other amazing creators!

@dragonji: this gif art!

@candicewright: this yibo painting!

@wendashanren: this gifset!

@mylastbraincql: this gif!

I haven't been able to keep track of who's been tagged so apologies if you've already done this! Also, no pressure to do it at all if you would rather not! <3

Planning

Sometimes, I get an idea first and find reference photos to go with that idea. But for this one, I sought out a reference photo first, and built an idea on top of it!

After that, I roughly sketch out the base pose. Usually, this looks very messy, but it doesn't really matter as long as I understand which part goes where!

The idea for the background didn't really come until the creation process because I don't think I really planned this to be a full piece.

Creation

Sketching

Honestly, from this point on, it's more of trial and error.

So, I redid the the initial base pose—made it cleaner and a little bit more detailed. See: the added definition in their arm muscles, the rearrangement of Wei Wuxian's legs, and Lan Wangji's hand on Wei Wuxian's back. If you look at the second photo, I also changed the pose a bit midway—I tend to edit as I go sometimes when I change my mind. (For this, I thought, given the Lan arm strength, it would be better to make Lan Wangji look more at ease carrying Wei Wuxian. This gets covered by the robes anyway though, so it didn't matter much in the end.)

I also started adding details to the base! I usually start with the face and then the hair! I usually go for the clothes next, but I dreaded the robes in this piece so I guess that's why I ended up with a basic idea of what I wanted for the background instead LOL I also figured out how I want the final crop to look like, so I blocked out all the other areas with an extra layer!

Okay, onto the part that killed me like ten times: the robes. There are a lot of interactions between their robes here given their pose, and not to mention they also have layers upon layers on each of them! So, to maintain my sanity and to keep track of which part is which, I color coded them into the most colorful sketch I've ever made.

Another reason why I filled in each layer of robe with a solid block of color, is so that all the lines underneath gets covered. Without all of the colors, the actual outline actually looks like the one on the right. What a nightmare!

I also ignored the crop again for this part, because it's always better to draw past your borders, in case you decide to rotate or tilt or whatever your piece later on. I didn't do the feet anymore though, because that I was sure wouldn't show in the final piece anymore.

After that, I did the sketch one more time and then started adding the base colors. (I didn't have a screenshot of just the base colors, and the final CSP file is a nightmare so I copy pasted the layers into a new canvas to show you guys :') )

By the way, I drew their robes flowing this way, because I wanted it to frame the lower arch of the moon behind them for the composition. It was a little frustrating that I couldn't get Lan Wangji's robes a little higher because of Wei Wuxian's legs but I later filled in the empty space with his forehead ribbon anyway, so it all worked out in the end!

Painting

Because apparently, I was a masochist back then, I merged the base colors all into one layer and started adding shadows to the robes. (These days, I add shadows first and then, merge. It's much easier this way.)

And then, I started painting! Again, I did the face first and then the hair, before finally the robes. This was my first time painting side profiles and honestly it was quite a pain to figure out LOL but !!! I think I did a good job and I'm proud of how it turned out. I again used reference photos for this one but I can't link any because they were just several random Pinterest photos that I didn't save.

Another thing to note is that I use the mesh transform tool a lot, especially on faces. That's largely why Lan Wangji's face looks so different in the latter two!

And then I went with the robes. Somewhere along the way, I realized I didn't like how I planned to do Lan Wangji's sleeves and the flowy part of Wei Wuxian's robes and I... decided, with much dread, to do them over. So I sketched on top of the painted layers and redid the robes, again.

It was at this point that I decided to take a break from this piece because it was honestly very draining! I think it took about three weeks before I decided to open the file again and continue it.

When I did, I just finished painting the rest of the robes and their hands. The blue details on Lan Wangji's outer robes were painted on a separate layer that I put on Multiply. I probably did more adjustments to the face and hair and stuff, because my painting process is honestly a mess :')

Final Adjustments

I added some correction layers on certain areas to fix some of the colors. See: Lan Wangji's sleeve becoming much brighter and paler; Wei Wuxian's legs having less contrast. And then I merged all of the layers (excluding the background) and added a bit of blur. See: Wei Wuxian's ponytail; the entire lower part; the flowing forehead ribbon. My reasoning for this is so that most of the detail (and therefore the flow of the eye) goes to their faces and expressions!

And then, I put a blue Overlay layer on low opacity to make Wangxian blend better with the background, added a bit of shadow on the inside and the lower sections and added the glowing details for the added flair. I initially wanted sparkles and/or stars but they didn't turn out as well as this did. I also upped the contrast by a little for the entire piece!

Aaaand, that's it! In truth, I did a bit more color adjustments to the whole piece, but I was a dummy who forgot to turn them back on before posting so ... oh well.

Posting

Before posting, I upload it either on my spare private Twitter account or on a drafted Tumblr post so I can check the colors on my phone. This is because the colors on different devices can look very different, and I would at the very least want all my pieces to look nice on both of my devices!

And then, once I deem it satisfactory, I just try to think of a caption and post! Some artists wait for a certain time where most of their followers are active, but I didn't have a lot of MDZS followers at this point so it didn't really matter to me.

It still doesn't really; I haven't actually been able to figure out when my MDZS followers are awake even now.

[everyhowlmarksthedead]

❛ A FIRST DATE ❜

with Johnny ‘Coco’ Cruz.

Request: Can I request a fluffy Coco imagine?? From his POV about their 1st date and his thoughts abt her and stuff? I really want some coco fluff lol. ❤❤🔥

BY ANON

Word count: about 1.7k

Aurora says: this writing hasn't been edited, you may find some grammar mistakes, I'm sorry about that!

Gif credits: to the author.

Masterlist. You can subscribe to my broadcast list, to be notified whenever I post a writing!

“Brother, just be yourself”.

Angel thinks that Coco is giving it more importance than it really has, after trying different outfits, without finding the perfect one. He doesn't have many clothes, because he doesn't really need it. But now, he's really pissed off.

“If I act like usually, she'll kick ma' ass in fucking seconds”. He grumbles sitting over his bed, rubbing his face with both hands.

You two met at the hospital some week ago, when he suffered some kind of accident that left him blind in one eye, for some time. He felt his heart pumping because of love for the first time, when he saw you after cleaning his healthy eye. And before that, he was already truly fascinated by the way you had to calm him down using your voice. A sweet and honeyed tone that he could be listening to his whole life. He couldn't help but think how good falling asleep every night hearing you talking would be. It took him almost two weeks to ask you out, but he couldn't feel more happy when you said yes without letting him finish the question. Coco felt strange when he left the hospital after it, experimenting a bunch of sensations stuck in his chest that made him feel better than ever.

Now, his insecurities are coming into the light. Everything he touches ends up destroyed, broken. You are too pure for his shit. You don't deserve to take that risk. Taking off his phone from his pocket, he searches for your number. Gilly and Angel are looking at him intrigued, until they find out what he's going to do. The big one takes the phone off from his hands, while the oldest Reyes holds him to guide him towards the door.

“You're not gonna flake on her, pendejo”. He grunts, pushing him outside his house.

His brothers follow him to the meeting place, watching you sit on a bench waiting for him, after twenty minutes standing up and walking around the big fountain. You look beautiful, dressed with a pair of shorts, a baggy white shirt with the sleeves rolled up on your shoulders and black sneakers. He turns around, trying to run away from your life again, facing his friends.

“I can't”. He just says, with his hands almost sweating. “She's too much for me”.

“She's perfect for you, man!” Gilly rolls his eyes.

“C'mon, Coco, don' be a chicken and get the girl”.

Licking his bottom lip, he just nods in silence, trying to find the perfect words to encourage himself. Turning over his Vans, he starts his way towards you, doubting for some seconds. And he's about to leave when you raise your eyes from your phone. The smile you draw with the corner of your lips gives him a heart attack, knowing that he could die full of happiness right now.

“Hey, I thought you weren't coming”.

Maybe it wasn't the greeting he was expecting and he feels so sorry for having made you wait. Stroking the back of his head, he forces a grin.

“Yeah… I was… 'bout to not comen'”.

Your gesture turning from enthusiasm to disheartening, causes him some bitter shivers inside his chest. He has already fuck up the good vibes between you two, that borned in the hospital. Seeing you nod in silence, shrugging your shoulders, makes him feel out of air; trying to think something to fix it up.

“I really… appreciate that, at least, you came to tell me that this isn't going to happen… It would be… humiliating”. You whisper putting your gaze away from him.

Coco can see the way your lips are trembling, as if you were about to cry, and it's painful. For him, it's painful.

“No, mami, lis—”.

“It's okay, Johnny, you don't have to excuse yourself”. Waving a hand on air, you try to make it easy for him. “I get it”.

He's missing the boat, watching you turning around and focusing your attention on the screen of your phone again. Maybe typing to some friend to pick you up, maybe about to call anyone else. But finally, the orders from his brain move his body to stop you.

“No, wait!” He says somewhat loud, grabbing your left wrist. “I wanna date you. I wanna have a lot of dates with you. This ain't you, mami, but me”.

Looking at his hand confused, you travel his arm until finding his dark and desperate eyes, talking to you in silence. Begging you to listen.

“My life is a shit. A mess... A chaos. I… had this accident with my eye because… of a dogfight with another gang. I didn' wanna lie to you, you know? I think you're smart, and pretty and… you don' deserve a guy like me who is… always in fuckin' trouble and that… used to ride a bike that probably would never ride again, just… with a shitty work on a scrapyard”. Coco is getting more and more nervous because you're not saying a single word back. He gulps with some difficulty, taking a step closer to you. “I ain't a good man, I don' do good things, but… I really wanna date you, mami. I've never been so true in ma' life”.

And he's about to give up with a crappy sensation running his body, when you tangle your finger with the ones that were gripping your arm.

“Maybe you can teach me to drive a bike, so I can ride for you”. You just say, hoping that it's enough for him.

“That sounds good, ma'”. He replies with no hesitation, feeling like for the first time he's having a good opportunity in his life.

Watching you smile again it's like seeing a rainbow after a destructive storm, putting his arm over your shoulders to start a low walk.

“Do you like pizza?” You ask then, raising your head toward his.

“Yeah, 'course”. He answers with an incredulous gesture on his face.

“Okay, do you know a food truck close to the hospital, with red and blues stripes?”

“No”.

“Seriously?” You almost scream, breaking into laughs. “You like pizza and you have never tried it before?”

Coco shakes his head, falling in love a little more after hearing your laughter. That simple gesture has made him feel more happy than ever before.

“You're gonna really, really love it”. You say with emotion, moving a hand on air to highlight your words.

“I'm sure”. He chuckles nodding. “You look pretty convinced”.

And you weren't wrong. Maybe not everybody would think that sitting on an edge of a sidewalk, eating pizza, it's the perfect date. But for him, it's the perfect one. He can ask for anything else that hearing you talk for hours about your hobbies, about what you would like to be in five years, about the things the two of you have in common. And he has never talked this much, either. But it's too easy for him to follow the conversation and flow it into another one, until the night falls over the town.

Coco insists on walking with you back to your home, just to be sure that you come safe. And even if he has had so much fun, he's doubting if you would like to repeat it. Maybe at the end you were just trying to be kind with him, because he seemed so desperate for being with you for a couple hours, to not make him feel bad. And maybe that was the reason why you didn't want him to take you home. But the real reason is that your housemates are waiting on the porch for you to tell them how it was. As soon as they see you coming closer, they run into the house ashamed and laughing, making your cheeks burn when Coco notices what is going on.

“Sorry, they're like children…” You say hastily, stopping your steps and placing yourself in front of him.

“It's okay, ma'. My… friends are waiting too”.

Between the two of you gets installed an uncomfortable silence for some seconds, until he sees you holding your bag, looking for something inside it. He breaks into loud laughs when his healthy eyes focus on the heart shaped lollipop, that you're offering him.

“I heard you the day you visited the hospital, so… there's your reward for being a good boy”.

Coco takes it, shaking his head and showing you a funny smile, before catching you between his arms. Embracing you tightly, he places a kiss on your cheek. A lovely one. Pulling himself away, he opens the candy to tuck it into his mouth.

“The best one”. He says tasting the strawberry flavor of it.

“Okay, ah… I have three kids to take care of”. You joke about your friends, pointing at your house for a second. “I had so much fun today…”

“Yeah, me too… We can repe—”.

“I'm free tomorrow”.

Hearing you interrupt him, after realizing that he wants to have another date with you. Taking off the lollipop from his mouth, he leans forward to press your lips with his, shortening the distance between both. Feeling your fingers getting tangled in his shirt give him some pleasant chills, ending up pecking your lips gently.

“What about breakfast? I know a place with the best pancakes”. He proposes then, giving you an eskimo kiss.

“I like it”. You nod, kissing his lips a last time.

“Pick you up at ten?”

“Pick me up at ten”.

“Have a good night, mami”.

“You too, pirate”. Puckering your lips, he laughs again. “Enjoy it, you're gonna see again in a couple months”.

He frowns a little confused, drawing slowly a huge smile on his lips.

“Spoiler of your next doctor appointment”.

“Is tha' why you told me tha' I could teach you?”

Walking backwards to your house, he sees you happily nodding.

“'Am gonna marry you one day, you know'et?”

These words may have been somewhat precipitate, or at least that's what he's thinking until seeing you nod again.

“I hope it”.

“Shit”, he thinks to himself, licking again the lollipop; not leaving your hood until you're inside your house.