#can’t wait for the copy of the study tbh

[in-tua-deep]

Huh in interesting scientific news there are differences between the tau proteins present in the brain caused by Alzheimer’s and ones caused by chronic traumatic encephalopathy (hella concussions)

and my father, the overachiever, had both! so now he gets to have a study on him published since he’s the first subject they’ve had with both!

he always did like to be first :’)

[3dmanswhore]

do you? | k. bakugou

3.2k words

content: nsfw, mdni, aged up characters, fem!reader, established (ex) relationship, friends w benefits, fluffy smut, unprotected sex, unedited & lowkey badly written

tbh didn’t even plan on writing this as smut but it just kind of turned into it as i kept writing it 💀, might have to go on another 2+ year hiatus over the embarrassment

other than fucking with no strings attached, Katsuki and i hadn’t seen each other much since our last year at UA. especially at ungodly hours such as right now.

when he would sneak into my dorm after a big fight, silently cuddling up to my half-asleep figure. i would mindlessly stroke his hair and fall back asleep, sometimes waking up to him, or just after he had left.

but here he was now.

at 3am, in my apartment.

only having had the key to unlock the place because i gave it to him for the sake of convenience. for when he calls on me in the middle of a drunken night.

he’s standing at the foot of my bed and staring straight at me, the lit up screen of his phone which he used as a flashlight illuminating his tired features in the dark.

“the fuck are you starin’ at”, he says in his usual bitter tone.

i grimace at him, “the fuck are you doin’ here?”, i say in a slightly softer tone, only because i was too tired to try to outmatch him in a field he was far too experienced in: yelling.

“what do you think?”, he says matter-of-factly. and while i usually don’t mind the booty calls. in fact, sometimes i even seek them out, i’m definitely not up for it right now. not without warning, at least.

i groan as i prop myself up on my elbows, “the hell is wrong with you? i told you i’m not fucking you unannounced, especially not when you just let yourself into my apartment.”

he lets out an annoyed groan, pulling his phone up to his face as he starts to vigorously type on it.

a few seconds later, i hear a ping from my own phone. picking it up, i see the far too familiar text message pop up as a notification: i’m coming over.

“you’re already over, dumbass”, i groan as i scoot to the far end of the bed, making space for him.

he shuts his phone off, laying it down next to my own one.

he takes his shirt off, flinging it to some dark corner of my room.

he gets into bed, his hand brushing against my shoulder as he pulls the sheets over us both.

and he…

turns around?

his back facing me?

my eyebrows scrunch in confusion. “what the fuck are you doing?”, i ask in a slightly raised whisper.

without even turning around to face me, he answers, slightly muffled as he talks into the pillow. “what the fuck does it look like?”

“i have no idea”, i answer honestly, “did you seriously just come here for a sleepover?”

i hear him shuffle in the dark as he turns around to look at me, propped up on his elbow as he glares down at me. “you just said you didn’t wanna fuck. i’m tryna sleep”, he looks at me expectantly, as if waiting for a nod of approval before he can go back to sleeping.

“is this like reverse psychology? you think i’m gonna wanna fuck if you suddenly don’t?”, i’m still confused on why he even came over.

he tsks in response, flinging my forehead, “you think you’re all that”, he says harshly but i can sense a playful undertone in the words. “i can’t fall asleep in an empty bed, you should know that from our failed relationship.”

i stayed silent and he turned to lie on his back, facing the ceiling with his hands clasped over his bare chest. his eyes were open but he didn’t say a word, just steadily breathed as he waited for a response from me.

“i didn’t know that”, i said softly as i adjusted my position, scooting a bit closer to him as my face was now mere inches from his shoulder.

he hummed as he kept blinking at the ceiling. “why do you think i always came back to you”, he said just above a whisper, as if he didn’t even want me to hear it.

“well, i would like to think it’s due to how amazing of a girlfriend i was”, i said sarcastically as i copied his posture, studying the ceiling with him as if we were stargazing.

he snorted sarcastically, which admittedly, slightly hurt.

“what was that for!? i wasn’t that bad”, i said in disbelief, sitting up slightly as i stared at him with a shocked expression.

he side-eyed me, and i could almost notice a smirk playing on his features. “you were fuckin’ psycho, y/n”

i hit his chest, rolling my eyes as i laid back down, accidentally resting my head on his shoulder.

i thought he might shrug me off, but instead he extended his arm around me.

we were now cuddling.

i can’t remember us cuddling much even when we dated.

he said he hated the unnecessary heat coming from my body, though i would always wake up to him spooning me, or squeezing me to near death like i was his plushy.

“i was only psycho because you gave me reasons to be”, i retorted, knowing it was only partly true.

it’s true that, in my reckless and hormonal teenage-hood, i could be extremely jealous and possessive. but he could have worked out less, or gotten a bad haircut, or done something to get the girls to stop fawning over him.

the only thing that pushed away the flocks was his shitty attitude, but i’m sure some were even more turned on by it.

“despite your beliefs, i never cheated on you once”, i know he didn’t. “hell, i never even looked at another girl besides you”, he must have meant ‘while we were together’, but i guess it was common sense that didn’t need to be specified.

still, it made my heart churn: the possibility that i was the only one who managed to capture his attention, ever.

the idea gave me a disgusting sense of importance. one so suffocating it might throw me into old habits of trying to get his approval at all costs.

instead of saying something that would ruin the moment and push him away, i hummed in response as i turned to wrap around his warm, and slightly sweaty torso.

thankfully, because of his quirk, he never smelled bad. if anything, i think the sweet-scented sweat made him just that much more intoxicating.

the hand he had wrapped around me rubbed soothing circles into my shoulder, and i could tell by his quickening heartbeat and uneven breath, that even the great Katsuki was capable of feeling nervous.

“i miss this”, he says softly, and i’m sure it is a sentence he will regret muttering in the morning — when he’s not affected by the drowsiness and hypnagogia.

my heart skips a beat as i continue tracing the lines of his muscles, “you do?” is all i can say to not reveal my own feelings on the matter.

“do you?”, he asks instantly, so much so i’m not even sure he meant to say it aloud.

he grabs my tracing hand with his free one, bringing it up to his face as he kisses at my palm, and each section of each finger, the kisses becoming more hungry as he digs his face into my touch like an abandoned hound.

i can only utter his name, my voice shaky as i mindlessly inch my face closer to his.

his usually angry eyes almost look like they are pleading now.

his arm has now moved to my waist as he tries to pull me closer, our chests touching not being enough.

his other hand moves to the back of my neck as he pushes my face down on his. he hungrily nips at my lips, and if i wasn’t so used to his touch i would think he was trying to devour me whole.

we hadn’t kissed like this in such a long time. even during this weird arrangement of ours that had been going on for months, we’d only lock our lips for the sake of muffling the moans and gasps.

as he pulled me in even closer, my shirt now having ridden up almost completely — my chest the only thing stopping it in place, i was now straddling him as he moved his hand to somewhere more interesting than my bare waist.

he squeezed my ass and i let out a gasp to which he only deepened the kiss, stealing the air from my lungs.

i wasn’t sure whether i was feeling lightheaded because he was so inebriating or because of the lack of oxygen going to my brain.

but my judgment was clouded, that was for sure.

i didn’t even want to think of what would happen between us in the morning. perhaps he really was just using psychological tricks to get me to sleep with him tonight. i definitely wouldn’t put it past him.

but i couldn’t care enough right now. i just wanted his touch. i needed it. i had missed it for so long. not the lustful, mindless one i’d been feeling recently, but this — the hungry, desperate touch that leaves bruises in places no bruises should be.

he detaches himself from my lips and moves to nipping on my jaw, and my neck.

i hung my head in the space where his neck and shoulder connect, breathing heavily and whining right into his ear as he teeths at that sweet spot he knew so well of.

he bucks his hips up, searching for even the slightest friction as he continues working on my collar area.

i close my eyes, trying to stop the dizzying feeling in my head. but breathing him in while listening to his quickened heartbeat doesn’t do much to help.

he pulls away, forcing my hips down onto his own and causing me to sit up as i use his heaving chest as an anchor.

he squeezes my bare thighs, his fingers hooking themselves around the waistband of my underwear. he pulls on it softly as if testing the elasticity, his red eyes gleaming at me hungrily.

“did you know i was coming? is that why you only wore this?”, he gruffly said, still playing with the waistband of my panties as his other hand rubbed my back, riding up my tank-top even higher.

i think he knew this was just how i always slept, that it had nothing to do with him. but in this moment, he must have just needed to hear me say it: yes, katsuki, all of this is for you.

so i did, ignoring the fact that it wasn’t true.

he closed his eyes for a moment before sitting upright, holding me to his chest so i wouldn’t fall off as he readjusted us both.

“i’ll make it worth your while”, he said reassuringly, cupping my face with his calloused hand, giving my cheeks a squeeze as he planted a kiss on the tip of my nose.

melting at his touch as i always did, i rested my forehead against his as he looked down at his boxers, trying to pull them down with my legs still straddling him.

i lifted myself up to allow him space as he finally managed to kick them off.

i sat back down, his sprung up cock twitching between our torsos.

he stroked it once, the precum leaking onto my bare stomach as he slapped it against me.

i felt myself leaking on his lap, grinding on him, desperate to feel him inside me, but playing it off as just readjusting myself.

but he knew the truth.

he knew i needed him just as badly as he did me, maybe even more.

he slowly pulled my top off, admiring the way my tits bounced at the motion.

he squeezed my waist, muttering a curse under his breath as we locked eyes again.

“d’you have a condom?”, i asked as i ran a finger through his hair, watching as his eyebrows knitted at the pulling sensation.

“fuck”, he said more clearly now as his head fell, and i knew what the answer was. at least i was now sure he didn’t come here just to fuck.

i shook my head reassuringly, “i’ll get the morning-after pill tomorrow” i knew it was a dumb idea. even in that drunken passion haze, i knew it. i knew it was too risky, and that those things were only about 90% effective — and that is if i remembered to take it on time.

but i couldn’t pass on this opportunity. i couldn’t let him just go home after all of this.

Katsuki was smart, he knew it was a dumb idea, too. but he stayed quiet, nodding silently as he once again started playing with the band of my panties.

i planted soft kisses on his temple, nipping on his ear knowing it was one of his many weaknesses.

he let out a long sigh, mumbling something about ripping off my underwear.

they were an expensive pair, so i’m not sure why i agreed to it, nodding vigorously as i mumbled his name desperately.

like it was just a piece of string, he ripped them off swiftly, pulling them out from under me and throwing them somewhere to the side.

i once again rested on his forehead, watching as he slowly pumped his thick cock against my folds, squealing at the sensation.

we both knew there was no need for further foreplay. maybe when we were younger, we would take hours getting each other off with just our hands and mouths before finally sealing the deal.

but now, there was no need. not only because we were both as horny as one could be, but because we were also so exhausted. unsure whether it was due to the fact that it was nearly 4am and we were running on almost zero hours of sleep, or simply because we were getting older and didn’t have the same stamina we did when we were eighteen or nineteen.

he grabbed my thigh with one hand, lifting me off slightly as i grabbed his shoulder for support, squirming as he rubbed his tip all over my leaking pussy before finally sliding it in completely.

i let out a loud whine, hiding my face into his hair as he kept both hands on my ass.

i wrapped my arms around his neck and he kissed my shoulder, “you good?” he asked as he moved one hand to rub my upper arm in comfort.

i nodded as i let out a sigh, mumbling his name and a pathetic command to fill me up.

he listened, of course, rocking his hips up into me as he simultaneously lifted me off himself, trying to create a rhythm between the two movements.

“c’mon baby, ride me. you know how well you do it”, he almost begged. praise wasn’t something Katsuki practiced in our bedroom life, ever. if anything, he did the opposite. but i think in this moment, he was too exhausted to carry both our loads and get himself off at the same time.

i obliged, lifting myself off him slowly and dropping back down. he desperately bucked into me, unsatisfied with the speed i was going at.

i swirled my hips on him, as if i was tracing patterns with the movement. he let out a broken whine, sinking his head into my chest as i finally picked up the speed.

the sound of skin slapping skin echoed around the room, and i was sure i would get noise complaints from the neighbors in the morning.

he left wet kisses on my chest, breathing heavily as i continued bouncing on him.

i was starting to get tired, my pace faltering as i whined nonsense into his ear. “you fill me up so good, ‘tsuki”, i knew the effect my dumb nicknames had on him.

he always pretended to hate it, and only wanted me to call him by his name. but i always noticed the way his eyes would glint when i’d throw a petname into our conversations.

he suddenly wrapped his arms tightly around my torso, stopping my ability to move as he started pounding into me. the bed was creaking, and i’m pretty sure we even managed to push it from its position as i tried to grab onto the wall behind it.

i let out a loud moan as i wrapped myself around him again, feeling his thick cock fill me up as it pulsated inside of me.

his length hit the deepest part of my insides, and the rhythmic pounding of that sweet spot overwhelmed me with pleasure as i heaved desperately into his ear.

“don’t stop, Katsuki”, i whimpered into his ear, letting out more moans as i dug my fingernails into his back to try and suppress the feeling, but to no avail.

he groaned, holding me tightly as he suddenly turned us around so i was lying underneath him.

he kept up the pace, resting his forehead against mine as he stared into my eyes.

i let out a cry of pleasure, my breath hitching as my heaving mixed with the mumbling of his name and pleads to keep going.

he didn’t stop, but over time his thrusts became sloppy. i watched his face distort in pleasure as he closed his eyes to focus on the thrusts, resting his head in the crook of my neck.

“don’t stop, baby, i’m so close”, the only words of encouragement i could think of in this moment. i ran my hand through his hair, pulling his head up so he could see how good he was making me feel.

he let out a desperate whine, coating my chest with peppered kisses as he kept thrusting into me.

now the sound of squelching and mixed liquids filled the room, along with our desperate wails of pleasure.

“fill m’up with your cum, baby. ‘want to feel you inside”, i whimpered incoherently, pulling him in closer as i wrapped my legs around his hips.

he let out a groan as his pace quickened once more. he held one arm besides my head, propping himself up — while he slithered the other one down to my heat, rubbing my clit until i couldn’t tell whether i was moaning out of pleasure or pain.

the combined sensation of his sex filling me up and his rough fingers overworking my clit proved to be too much as i unraveled all over him, crying out his name desperately as i clung onto him.

his breathing started getting heavier as he kept pumping into me, trying to bring himself to a finish as he rode out my own.

i moaned words of encouragement into his ear, peppering kisses on his jaw and neck until i finally felt his cock twitching inside of me.

he let out a prolonged moan as his semen squirted inside of me, Katsuki pumping himself inside a few more times to ride out the orgasm.

i felt the juices leak out of me as he tiredly pulled out, still lying on-top of me as he tried to pull the blanket over us.

he kept his head sunken in the crook of my neck, his breathing easing as he muttered something incomprehensible.

i brushed through his hair, listening to his calm breathing and feeling his heartbeat slow down to a normal speed.

“i missed you too, ‘tsuki”, i spoke softly, not even sure whether he was still awake to hear it.

[itsbeeble]

Sour

Summary: Your story began with sour candies, and it’ll end just the same

Genre: Smut, angst

WC: ~1.9k

Pairing: song mingi x afab!reader

Warnings: small smut scene, Mingi is horny tbh, hurt and no comfort, alcohol mentions (wooyoung is drunk)

ALL PARTS: pt 1: Sour | pt 2: Bittersweet | pt 3: Tangy | true ending | alt ending

Your story began in a convenience store, over a bag of sour candy. It was a Sunday night, the day before your finals began during freshman year of college. You’d shared a class together, Calculus, but never shared a word amongst each other. That night you in the convenience store had sparked…something. Something that even you weren’t quite sure about. 

You’d been in your pajamas, just sweatpants and a sweatshirt with your hair tied back so you looked somewhat presentable to the public roaming the streets at the stroke of midnight. The straw for your half empty iced Americano rested against your lower lip, your eyes focused on the candies in front of you. He came up beside you, dressed in a tight black shirt and loose cargo pants, saying nothing to let you know he was there until he reached for a pack of sour gummy worms. His deep, gravelly voice startles you out of your thoughts.

“I say go for these,” he says, flicking the package before grabbing it off the shelf. “They taste good, not too sour and not too sweet.” You turned your exhausted gaze to the tall man with fiery hair and headphones half covering his ears. There was a small smile on his lips, one that offered little comfort to you. 

“What if I didn’t want something sour?” Mingi just shrugs and begins to walk away.

“Up to you, really. I just figured I’d give you my opinion.” You follow him to the register, the same bag of sour candies in your hands. He glances down at you, his smile growing just slightly as the tired young cashier rings him out, and he waits for you while the cashier rings out your candy.

“Why are you up, anyway,” your fingers rip open that small blue bag easily while you two walk back to the dorm buildings. 

“Studying, mostly.”

“Song Mingi?” You say in mock shock. “Studying? I never thought I’d see the day!” The taller boy laughs loudly, and you can’t help but laugh with him. It was true, though. In your class he always had his head down and the professor learned to just leave him alone during everything except exams, where he’d somehow excel. She didn’t need to know that you’d been leaving him a copy of your notes on his desk at the beginning of the next class all semester. In fact, he doesn’t need to know that either.

“Well, I never thought I’d see the girl who leaves me all of her very well organized notes stressing over a final that should be a breeze for her.” He counters, leaning down to you and nudging your shoulder. Your cheeks flush, and you turn your gaze away from him. 

“You knew?”

“You do know that I was never actually asleep, right?”

“Coulda fooled me, Mingi.”

“I do appreciate it, though.” You look at him again, and he’s still looking down at you. His arm brushes against yours, but neither feel the urge to drift back away from each other. “I need to repay you, somehow.”

“It’s not a big deal.” You shake your head, and he hums. 

~

You probably should’ve known it then. Should’ve known that getting mixed up with Mingi might not have been the best idea you’ve ever had. But fuck, if the way he fucked you didn’t feel like heaven on Earth.

The first time he fucked you, he had your back pinned against his chest, one of his feet planted firmly on his mattress, his hips pounding into you from behind. His hands pinched and tugged at your erect nipples, his face tucked into your neck as he sucked dark marks into your skin. Broken moans fell from your lips, your vision swimming with pleasure that built itself up and up, seeming to never stop. Your warm walls fluttered around his cock, squeezing him tightly every time he pulled his hips back only to thrust back into you harder and faster than he had been.

Your hair stuck to your skin, your hands flailing and reaching for something, anything to hold onto to ground yourself. One of your hands fell to his hair, gripping it tightly and forcing a low groan from his throat. He pulls away from your neck, lips finding your own and you can taste the hint of sour gummies on his tongue when you suck it into your mouth. You let him lick into your mouth, practically shoving his tongue down your throat with how furiously he kissed you, but you didn’t mind. 

You probably enjoyed it a bit too much, his cock abusing that spongey spot inside of you, his heavy balls slapping against your ass, one of his hands slipping down to play with your clit. The stimulation is enough to send you over the edge, spasming around him and crying out against his lips. His orgasm arrives soon after your own, thick ropes of warm cum spilling against your walls and spilling out of you while he continues to fuck you until the overstimulation becomes too much for you. 

~

It becomes a regular thing for you both, fucking each other whenever you get the chance. You both have become…something that you can’t quite name. Not quite exclusive, but not fucking anyone other than each other throughout the next few years. It confuses you, to say the least, the fact that you’re both beginning your senior year in college and still don’t have a label. 

Although now, as you sit with your body splayed across his lap and a bag of sour candies being shared between you two at a party neither of you could care less about and your fingers tangled in his bark hair, you can’t find yourself caring. Not when the kisses he places against your throat have your body thrumming with arousal. He doesn’t care that your friends are right in front of you, doesn’t care that Hongjoong keeps trying to get him to keep his hands to himself. All he sees, feels, hears, smells, and tastes is you. All he cares about is you, and the way you’re running your hand up and down his toned arm. 

“You two,” Wooyoung slurs with a plastic cup in his hand. “Are kinda gross.” He squints at you, pouting when he notices that neither of you are really paying attention to him. Your peer over at him, an eyebrow raised as he stumbles to the couch and sits next to San. You feel your eyes starting to flutter when Mingi sucks at a spot underneath your ear, your grip on his arm tightening a bit. You feel him smile against your skin. 

“Mingi,” Seonghwa’s voice is sharp. His eyes are narrowed as he looks at you both. Anger. Is that what the emotion is? The emotion in his eyes, his fists tightening at his sides. Yunho sits next to him, more uncomfortable than angry. “Can I talk to you for a second?” Your…lover? Friend? Partner? Whatever he is. He sighs against you, reluctantly pulling himself away from your skin and sliding you off of his lap to follow Seonghwa and Yunho further into the house. 

~

That should’ve been your first warning for the night. 

The second should’ve been Hongjoong’s pitying look toward you every few moments while you talk with Jongho about one of the classes you share, the excitement for your final year in college. 

Your third and final warning, the one you listened to.

“I’m glad Mingi won the bet.” 

All eyes turn to Wooyoung, the drunken man completely unbothered by his sudden declaration. There’s a mixture of emotions now. Confusion on your behalf, panic on everyone else’s. 

“What?” Hongjoong tries to shush the younger boy, but he’s persistent.

“The bet!” He chirps. “You know, if Mingi got you to sleep with him, then he’d get $100 from each of us? Didn’t he tell you?” 

It’s like the whole room goes silent. You feel the tears welling up in your eyes. You feel the horror and the realization setting in as you figure out what exactly Wooyoung just told you. What your friends had been hiding for so long. Though, could you really call them your friends now? Now that they’ve told you the truth? 

Your eyes search the house for Mingi, and you find him already looking at you. You can’t read the emotions in his eyes, but you can see him gnawing at his lip and his eyebrows furrowing while Seonghwa yells at him about something. It makes sense now. Why he didn’t want to put a label on you two.

In hind sight, you should’ve seen it. Although, how could you have? He always seemed like a nice guy. Always helped you if you were struggling with something, always brought you those stupid fucking sour gummies. You were completely blinded by the idea of someone showing you true affection for once that you couldn’t see the pity behind his friends’ eyes. 

~

“Y/N.” 

You don’t turn around when he calls your name. His voice cracks and trembles when he speaks. You can’t help but scoff, but you put on a brave face before you turn around. You plaster a smile onto your lips, your wipe the tears away from your eyes and pray that you can hold yourself together long enough to talk to him and get out of there, to take your car and run far, far away.

“I’m sorry.” He takes a step toward you, but the step you take back makes his stumble and freeze in his place. His hands are shaking, a far cry from the confidence he always seems to radiate. 

“It’s okay,” you force the words out, digging the nail of your thumb into your palm to keep the tears back. “I’m not mad.” You see him clench his jaw, see him start to stretch his hand out to you.

“You should be.”

“You’re right.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Stop saying that.” The tears are starting to well up again and you take a deep breath, turning your gaze away from him. “At least you got a good fuck out of all this, you know?” The laugh you let out turns into a sob, and you put a hand over your mouth to muffle it, to try and calm your breathing enough to continue speaking. Mingi takes another step forward, and then another, grabbing onto your hand before you can get too far from him. 

“That’s not— that isn’t why I did this!” You stare at him in disbelief. 

“So why then? Why did you make the bet in the first place?” There’s no answer from him, and you bite down on your tongue. You pull your hand out of his grip, and he lets you walk away.

There’s a sour feeling boiling in your gut, and as soon as your car door shuts, you allow it to spill over. The sobs free themselves, and you let the tears run down your cheeks. 

A breakdown. One you’ll have to handle on your own this time. No one to bring over snacks and drinks while you watch stupid movies and cuddle on your couch. No friends to fall back on when you need help. Nothing. 

You’re back at the beginning again.

Alone.

[diezmil10000]

do you have thoughts abt lysinette...

ouughghghhhh many!! many thoughts!!!! i’m still bitter that a lot of good ships didn’t get an A support and lysinette is on par with dorogrid, which is one of my favorite ships in the game. they wrote two girls who are incredibly passionate about magic, love sweets and are younger than most of the other characters, made them fight and make peace about overworking themselves and refused to elaborate. don’t get me wrong, i like their support chain, but—uh. wait.

fe3h spoilers under the cut because we’re talking about lysithea

i just can’t believe they didn’t give annette the opportunity of knowing about lysithea’s crests when she can’t shut up about them in all her other supports. they literally refused to elaborate on why lysithea seems naturally gifted in annette’s eyes, and to me that would have given their fight a better closure that what they chose to end it with. annette should have also been one of those characters who help lysithea remove her second crest if they could end up together, despite her being a teacher and not a researcher in most of her endings.

what i’m saying is that if they can write 3243347 supports of hilda needing help with cleaning and 23789432 supports of sylvain hitting on women who dislike him they could have made a linhardt-lysithea support chain copy with annette. just that, instead of the autistic gay boy with zero empathy (i love him) that wants to study her, lysithea has to deal with the hyperactive girlfail with no filter that wants to study AND kiss her.

i’m just realising i’ve been complaining for a while, but i hope that i don’t sound too negative – i do have other thoughts that aren’t pretentious attempts to Fix The Bad Game. if lysithea developed feelings for annette during the academy phase she would be sooo embarrassed like what do you mean i have a CRUSH? on a GIRL who is a NERD? and her stupid classmates (claude and hilda, maybe leonie) would find out and tease her forever about it. like c’mon lys ask her to dance with you at the ball!! and she does and annette is stupidly oblivious and she just gives up because she doesn’t have time for that.

the reunion post-timeskip would be awkward as fuck for both of them too: annette comes back fully grown and serving cunt while lysithea-- she looks exactly the same tbh but she is 12 whole ass centimeters taller and that’s wild. if they had any prior feelings for each other the timeskip would be like boom! gay reason spell that always crits!! it’s been 5 years and the girl from the other class is now a soldier, and i’m a soldier too and i fight by her side and she’s beautiful, but the war isn’t stopping and no one is stopping me from kissing her either. we’ve grown so much and so differently and i don’t know where to start teaching her the kind of magic i now know about, if she even wants me to. if she even wants me. and goddess do i want her.

anyway. thanks for letting me talk about my brainrot, i’ve been reading a lot of fics about them (something i should have done in 2019 when i first played but hey, better late than never. i’m so thankful for ao3 and all the fanfic writers out there, it’s so rewarding to get back to an old fandom and find all the cool stuff that has been written while you were gone). i hope you have a nice day anon~

[petersbaby]

Stepbro!eddie installment #2

*disclaimer that you are 18*

Warnings: I can’t think of any, other than stepcest. the smut in this one is pretty vanilla.

This version sucks tbh, I accidentally pressed “cut” on the story that I had finished writing yesterday when I was trying to copy it from my notes app. It kinda made me wanna scream. I was so happy with it too.

-

“So, you do a lot of studying last night? Do you think you’re ready for the test today?” Your mom asks.

You four were eating breakfast. You, your mom, your mom’s boyfriend, and you stepbrother Eddie.

“I did, and I’m ready. Gonna do well, I hope.”

“No you didn’t, you stayed up and watched a movie with me last night. And we-“

You kicked Eddie’s shin underneath the table. You chug the rest of your orange juice, grab your backpack and slip into your boots as you head out the door. With the gravel crunching beneath your feet, you walk up to Eddie’s van and hop in so he can take you both to school. You wait, wondering what the fuck he could possibly be taking so long for. Impatiently, you reach over and honk the horn. Moments later, he comes out of the door with a pop tart in his mouth. Approaching the driver’s side door, he yanks it open and gets in.

“Can you get it moving? Your slowness is gonna make us late.”

“You are so annoying. You know that?” His voice sounds different from one that matches the words. You can tell he’s just joking, but get a little sassy anyways.

“You’re the annoying one.”

“Am not. How am I annoying?” He questions, his mouth full and you look away as it’s gross to see the food in his mouth as he talks. “Gross”, you mumble to yourself.

“Well for one, you’re constantly teasing me. You keep almost telling them.”

“I do not.” He says with a frown.

“You literally JUST did it five minutes ago. Sometimes you just can’t shut up.”

“Chill out. Your mom or my uncle will only find out if you keep being loud like you were last night. ‘Oh, Eddie, ohmygod’” he mocks your moans. You punch him in the arm with enough force that he winces.

“Shut up.”

Once you arrive at school, you quickly jump out of the van, not wanting to be seen in his rust bucket of a vehicle. You run to the main entrance, leaving him behind.

Once home that day, you drop your bag at the door and kick off your shoes. Today was a short day for everyone, getting off an hour early which meant your parents were likely still at work. All you knew is at least for now they were, both cars gone when you pulled into the driveway.

As you walk to your room, you’re pulled into the hallway bathroom. You gasp slightly at the surprise. Eddie closes the door behind you both, as he presses you up against the bathroom counter, to which you jump up to sit on the surface near the sink. He kisses you desperately, like he can’t breathe without his lips on yours. He runs his hands up the curve of your waist underneath your t shirt, eventually venturing upwards to grab your breast and squeeze it over your bra. You’re flustered, but finally remember that you shouldn’t be doing this.

“Wait stop, they’re gonna be home soon.”

“You have no idea what it does to me to see you at school looking all cute, not being able to touch you or kiss you in front of anyone.”

He places kisses up and down your neck while continuing to grope you beneath your shirt, lightly as to not make marks.

“You’re so beautiful, I just want you all to myself. I own you, you’re mine. My pretty little sister.”

At this sensation of his breath on your neck and his possessive but exciting words, you cave. You pull him off of your to look him in the eyes.

“Okay, but you’ve gotta be quick.”

“I can do that.”

You unbutton your jeans, lifting your backside up off the counter as you slide them off. He’s so desperate, ravenous, and takes no time with unbuttoning his own, taking off his shirt as well. He presses against you again, this time more intimate because you can feel his clothed boner against your clothed pussy, just begging for direct contact.

You kiss passionately, deeply, but not so deep that tongues were involved. The perfect medium, his lips were perfect, always soft and plump,

“These need to go. Take them off.” He says, pulling at the waistband of your panties and you oblige, slipping them off your legs leaving you half naked. You watch as he eagerly gets out of his own underwear, coming back to line himself up to you and push inside.

You moan at the feeling, the perfect feeling of him being inside you. He returns to your neck, licking up and down it, and kissing and nibbling on your ear which gives you goosebumps.

You throw your head back as he pushes the deepest he can go into you, the cool countertop against your ass as he thrusts.

“Who’s are you? Who’s pretty pussy is this?”

“Yours, eddie, it’s yours. I’m all yours”

He loved to be in charge, to remind you what your place is.

As much as you were enjoying it, you were paranoid. “Have to hurry, remember?”

You had realized you wouldn’t get to cum this time, but were fine with it. You just wanted him to get off so that you could get out of this risky situation.

“Right, fuck, okay”

He picks up the pace, looking down at the point where the two of you meet, watching himself go in and out of you.

“Please cum, I want it, need you to cum”, whisper in encouragement. The words made him falter, beginning to get sloppy with his movements.

He grabs the hem of your shirt, pushing it up just in time as he pulls out and cums all over your thighs and lower stomach. He catches his breath for a second, then grabs a towel from the little bathroom closet, wiping down your skin and getting all of the sticky liquid off of you.

He hands you your clothes back, and gets his back on. He kisses your forehead sweetly, right after which you hear the front door unlock and you panic, scrambling out of the bathroom and to your bedroom, attempting to look like you didn’t just have sex. Like you’d been there all along, reading a book in your bed.

[realcube]

speaking 💗 uwu 💗 to the haikyuu!! boys pt 2

part 1

characters: suna, matsukawa, kyōtani, tendō & akaashi

tw// illness, swearing, sexual references, cwinge   

Rintarō Suna

bitch- he was shocked

he was feeling sick so you were taking care of him while he lay on the couch looking like the cutest lil’ potato you’ve ever seen

so while you were handing him the soup you made him, you said something along the lines of ‘here’s some wuv-filled soup for my poor honey~’ in the uwu voice

that was the best he felt all day lol

like honestly, you expected him to cringe which is kinda why you did it but he was all for it lmao

‘wait- please do that again, (y/n).’ suna groaned, slowly taking the soup from your hands 

you snickered, gently stirring the spoon to cool it down slightly, ‘no. now drink up.’

you picked up the spoon to jab it at his mouth since he was clearly too lazy to drink it himself, but his lips didn’t part no matter how desperately you poked 

he shook his head, keeping his lips together 

you rolled your eyes, dropping the spoon back into the bowl, ‘stop being a baby and drink the soup!’

suna continued to shake his head, ‘not until you do the voice again.’ he said, his voice hoarse and low.

‘bitch.’ you muttered while rubbing your temples, you were way too tired to deal with his clownery today 

‘please, (y/n).’

‘why are you so needy all of a sudden?’ you pouted, trying to think of something to say in the voice that wasn’t too embarrassing

‘i don’t know.’

‘uwu eat your fuckin’ soup, bi--’ you couldn’t even finish your sentence before wheezing at how silly it was to say something like that in ✨the voice✨ 

suna chuckled, immediately pulling his arm out from underneath the blanket to slurp up your delicious soup

the bowl parted from his lips as he let out a refreshed, ‘ah’ then dropped his gaze to meet yours, ‘you’re so cute.’

Issei Matsukawa

he would look you dead in the eye and smirk 

‘what’s wrong with your voice?’

WAIT BUT DON’T TAKE IT THE WRONG WAY BC HE JUST SAID THAT COZ HE PREFERS YOUR NATURAL VOICE LIKE PLEASE DON’T CHANGE IT YOU SOUND SO DIVINE 

‘nothing~’ you hummed, still holding your voice at a higher pitch

matsukawa quirked a brow, wondering if he was missing something

the thought occurred to him that maybe this a prank of some sort and you were waiting for him to give an interesting reaction

well, i mean, he’d hate to disappoint so-

he leaned forward to place a kiss on your cheek and wrap you in hug

‘what are you tryin’ to be all cute for, angel?’  he muttered against the sensitive skin of your neck 

a light blush dusted across your cheeks so you buried your face into the crook of his neck to hide it, ‘i don’t know.’ you replied in an awkward mix of your natural voice and the uwu voice

matsukawa snickered, rubbing up and down your spine with the large palm of his hand, ‘so you’re not gonna tell me, huh?’ he asked, playfully flicking your spine, resulting in a slightly whimper escaping your lips

‘is this a prank?’ he inquired further, holding a tight grip on your waist so you were unable to pull away - not that you wanted to anyway.

‘kinda.’ you snickered at how surprisingly quick he caught on

‘i fucking knew it.’ he chuckled, pushing you away from him to pressed a rough kiss against you lips, ‘but keep your real voice, angel. not to sound like a simp but it’s one the sweetest things i’ve ever heard.’

‘simp.’

‘shut up.’ he smiled and lightly flicked your back once more 

Kentarō Kyōtani 

he thought it was a sex thing-

you were just showing him your new-found talent while he was blushing furiously and just like ‘shut up, (y/n)! we’re in public! 😡😳’

and you just kinda shuffled awkwardly ‘what does that have to do with anything?’

‘you can’t just do stuff like that in front of everyone!’

he’d probably pull you onto his lap and cover your mouth with his hand to silence you

in his mind, the uwu voice = calling your s/o ‘daddy’ or ‘mommy’

like- just a bit too taboo to do in public-

you were so confused

‘kyōtani, get you’re filthy, dry hand off my mouth right now’

he wasn’t exactly sure what you said considering that his hand served the purpose of muffling your speech but he did hear that you called him by his full surname opposed to just ‘kyō’, ‘baby’  or ‘babe’ hence, you were probably angry 

‘i’m going to move my hand but i swear to god if you do that fucking voice again.’ he growled into your ear, that alone probably should’ve made you feel threatened but knowing kyōtani, he’s all bark and no bite; well, at least when it comes to you 

he slowly removed his hand from your mouth and you just shot him the deadliest glare 

he’s never going to recover from that one tbh- your eyes alone just scarred him for life 

without a word, you grabbed your bag from under your desk to search through it for a moment until you pulled out a small bottle of lotion

‘give me your hands.’

‘no.’ kyōtani rolled his eyes; he didn’t like the idea of putting lotion on his hands bc it’d made his hands slippery and if his hands were lubricated how was he supposed to GRIP?

‘i wasn’t a question.’ you scoffed, grabbing his hand and squeezing a dollop of lotion onto it, ‘have you ever moisturized in your life? your hands are so ashy.’

‘right, okay.’ kyōtani murmured, not even bothering to answer your silly question

‘ashy hands~’ you absentmindedly cooed in the uwu voice while spreading the lotion evenly across his palm

after realising what you hand just said, you immediately shifted your gaze onto kyōtani to see if he was livid >:)

but actually, he was painted a deep shade of red with his head turned away from you 

‘you’re going to hell.’ he hissed, not daring to meet your gaze just in case his face erupted in a blush once more

‘i’ll see you there~’

Satori Tendō

he’d look you dead in the eye and try to copy you lmao

like what else was he supposed to do? lmao

plus, he was sure of the fact he could do it better than you ✋

‘uwu-’ he choked on his own spit as that hellish sound left his mouth

‘TENDŌ!!’ you wheezed, covering your mouth to prevent an ungodly noise escaping, ‘sir, your vocal cords-’

‘wait do it again, do it again!’ he encouraged, clasping his hands together to plead

you snickered before raising the pitch of your voice once more, along with throwing up a little peace sign, ‘you’re such a swut!’

now it was tendō’s turn to wheeze

after a while, he was finally able to compose himself and attempt to imitate ✨ the voice ✨

‘you’re a whore!~’

you gasped, slapping a hand over your mouth, ‘WAIT, SATORI THAT WAS SO GOOD!’

tendō quirked a brow, shuffling in closer to you, taking your hand in his and placing a kiss upon the tips of each of your fingers absentmindedly, ‘really?’

‘yeah’ you nodded rapidly, not even bothering to hide the blush that was spreading across your cheeks at his random kisses 

‘i love you, baby~’ you hummed, pursing your lips in hoped he’d pick up on what your were asking for

‘i love you way more~’ he cooed, leaning in and connecting his lips with yours

honestly, y’all probably never use the voice again after that 

(other than when you play a prank on ushijima :P)

but it’s a fond memory lol

Keiji Akaashi

you did it as a prank but akaashi thought it was for his attention lol

he was just sitting at his desk, ‘studying’ hard (by ‘studying’, i mean he was blankly staring at his notes while thinking about you) while you were sitting on his bed, taking a well-earned break

then you saw a girl on your fyp try the prank out on her bf and ofc you had to try lmao

i mean, it was harmless :)) unlike some of the other pranks floating around

the only thing that could possibly get hurt during this prank was your pride

so you immediately tried it out

‘angel~’ you cooed, trying your best to keep the voice on and stifle a snicker as you watched him visibly perk up upon hearing you, ‘are you hungwy? do you want me to make you some snacks?’

akaashi turned around his chair to look at you and shoot you a sweet smile

HIS SMILE OEIHNFEVBEI pls it’s so holy 🥺🙏

anyway, he replied in his equally as angelic, mellow voice, ‘i’m fine, love. thank you though, you’re so sweet.’

you nodded in response, thinking that you weren’t going to get much of a reaction out him so you were about to go back to scrolling until he inquired further

‘by the way, what’s with the voice?- don’t get me wrong, it’s cute; i’m just curious.’

you let out a sigh, a smile gracing your lips as you figured that you’d end the prank here- you were too impatient to continue lol

‘it was just for a little prank thing.’

an understanding ‘ah’ fell from akaashi’s lips before he got up from his desk and slowly slinked towards you, cupping your face in his soft hands, caressing your cheek gently with his thumb as his lips teasingly hovered over your own

‘well, i’d be lying if i said i’m not fond of it.’ he hummed, his gaze fixated on your eyes for the most part but every few seconds it’d drop to send brief, longing looks at your lips 

he stole a quick kiss before backing away slightly, his hand staying glued to your cheek for as long as possible 

‘i’ll go fetch us some snacks- i’m suddenly craving popcorn.’

he left you in his room alone, blinking rapidly while trying to process what just happened

you just unlocked suave! akaashi

[caramelcal]

You can’t sit

Request:  Anonymous said:omg Can I Sit? was so cute sofmsmfmadmandma can a make a lil request based on it? like it’s their usual thing sitting together since that day, BUT one day nat arrives and somebody sat on her seat? retired assassin mode activated? 🥴

Word Count: 1.3k

a/n: OMGGGG, THIS!!!! this request, wow. amazing. i literally wrote can i sit back so long ago but yes, of course you can make a request! i’m definitely going to be taking more nat requests now omg, also wanda?? steve?? eye- oh lordy just anyone tbh 

Also, just to clear something up, at the end it speaks about y/n waiting for nat to do something, that’s cause you’re too scared even though you know nothing bad would happen. (Trying to keep this ague but informing, it isn’t working)

Natasha walked towards the small coffee shop with a smile on her face, maybe a slight bit too excited to see you. You both had been meeting up at the coffee shop ever since, but the excitement buried in the pit of your stomachs never seemed to go away no matter how normal the meet-ups became. It was a nice feeling, talking into the late hours of the day, talking over the phone, and sending each other little flirty and joking messages.

The other avengers found out two months after you and Natasha exchanged phone numbers. Natasha, who was normally void of any emotion on her face couldn’t help the smile erupting on her face one time as she checked her phone during a break from training and, as usual, Tony felt inclined to ask. Despite Natasha shrugging it off, after a lot of careful watching, it became pretty obvious as to why Nat was suddenly 'too' smiley.

“So Nat,” Tony had asked, a sly smirk on his face as Natasha’s green eyes broke away from her phone and up to the billionaire, “Who’s the lucky guy?”

Clint tried to hide the laugh that traveled up his throat, it was very obvious that Natasha was not into men. Sure, she hadn’t outwardly said so towards anyone but Clint or brought a girl home, but you could just tell. Natasha placed the phone down on her lap, crossing her arms over her chest, “Why would you think there was a guy?”

“Come on,” Tony drawled, sassily rolling his eyes before he pointed towards the phone in her lap, “The smiles, constantly checking your phone. Sure, you didn’t really participate in conversations to begin with but at least you acted like you were listening. We’re pretty interesting people y’know, Natalia, but clearly, the guy on your phone is much more interesting.”

The rest of the avengers watched on, some sitting silently awaiting Natasha’s answer, Peter with wide eyes at the semi-interrogation and Steve with a raised eyebrow, completely oblivious to what was going on.

From the corner of her eye, Natasha saw Wanda’s eyes flash red briefly before she let out a small snort, “Oh this is going to be good.”

“There isn’t a guy,” Natasha shook her head, sending Wanda a sly smirk as Tony’s eyes furrowed and he opened his mouth to interject. Yet, before he could, Natasha continued to speak, “There’s a girl though. If that’s what you’re asking.”

Silence filled the room. Tony’s mouth dropped open, eyes wide as he stared at the redhead, many of the other avengers copying his movement.

His face was a picture that Natasha wanted permanently tattooed on her brain, Tony’s jaw practically dragging on the floor, eyes wide and stuck like a statue in shock. Natasha knew you would love the story and would find him finding out just as funny as you would, so as she pushed the door of the coffee shop open, an eager smile was on her face.

However, her smile dropped when she caught onto your figure. You were still as beautiful as ever, hair in a hairstyle she has often seen on you, yet it still blew her away every time she saw you in it. You had comfy yet stylish clothes on, and Natasha wished you’d wear it more often but her mind didn’t stay on that long; she was too busy trying not to snap the person’s neck that was sitting beside you. In her seat.

Your hand was grasped on the back of your neck, rubbing it awkwardly as you tried to get the boy in front of you away. You were shrunken against the seat, almost like you would rather the chair swallowed you whole than being in this position and hoping that Natasha would have come sooner. Because then he wouldn’t be in her seat.

He looked about your age, and from what you had heard from himself as he ranted on, he was in university too. He maybe would have been cute, but you didn’t like people that were full of themselves, and so far all he had talked about was himself, not even letting himself take a breath in between his sentences. Maybe he would have been more attractive if he was a certain redhead assassin, too...

The coffee shop was practically empty anyway, a few people dotted around, some studying, some on dates but there were still plenty empty tables. Natasha knew that you didn’t want him there, and she certainly didn’t. She would be damned if she let this boy ruin the time you guys spent together before your next class.

“Excuse me,” She coughed, arms crossed over her chest and tone clipped when she interrupted the boy. She saw the way you looked up at her, letting out a sigh in relief and letting a smile cross your face but the boy didn’t seem as pleased. He rolled his eyes, glaring up at the assassin.

“What?”

“That’s my seat,” Natasha stated bluntly, arching her eyebrow at the way the boy was talking to her. She would be damned if she let a little boy talk to her like that, especially one that was hitting on you.

He let out a short laugh, pretending to look around the seat before he looked back up at the older woman, “Don’t see your name on it, sweetheart. Plus, me and this lovely lady are having a great conversation here so if you could hop along that’d be great.”

His sarcasm definitely wasn’t welcomed by Natasha and you knew that, letting out an involuntary wince as he started to try and get Natasha riled up. However, Natasha kept her cool a lot better, at least she didn’t snap the boy’s neck, that was a plus.

She cocked her head to the side, sending the boy a sarcastic sweet smile, “Might not have my name on it, kid, but my girlfriend was keeping it for me before you stole it.”

It took him a few moments before his mouth fell open, letting out a stutter of shock before looking over at you. You, awkwardly, watched the two of them and seen the smirk that rose to Natasha’s lips as he looked over at you, “Y-You? Her?”

You nodded with a smile, tucking hair behind your head as he watched the two of you. Natasha, rolling her eyes, continued to speak, “Kid, get out my seat.”

He didn’t waste much time before he jumped up, shaking his head and grabbing his jacket. Instead of sitting at another table, or ordering something, he simply walked out of the coffee shop. His gaze was on his shoes, maybe trying to hide the blush on his cheeks either from the embarrassment that he was trying to chat up someone who had a girlfriend or in rejection. Probably both.

Natasha slid in beside you, taking you into a hug; one that not many people got to experience. You both held smiles on your face, glad to see each other and get to talk to one another in real life and not over the phone. It had been over a week since you guys had gotten to do that, so you both missed each other a lot more than you’d say.

“So girlfriend, huh?”

Natasha simply hummed into your neck in reply, making you let out a small giggle in reply, playing with the ends of her hair fondly. Even if you guys weren’t officially dating, everyone knew that neither of you would be against it.

You were just waiting for the day that Natasha would ask.

[chihomichannel]

in ferris wheel and cotton candies

| pairing: choso x gender neutral! reader | genre: fluff | warnings: none | word count: 1847 words

| a/n: hi! this is clem! this is the 2nd part of “bittersweet lollipops” so read the first one before this but it can also be read as is. all of the 3 parts of this series is a stand alone but i just made it into a series ‘cause why not. tbh, for the 2nd part, i had no idea what to do because my plan for this series only consisted of the first and the third part. but i felt like i need to have the 2nd part so yep, this happened. i’m not entirely happy with this one but here ya go hehe. hope you like ittt  ♡~(>᎑<`๑)

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Sweet and salty, Choso named the taste of the lollipop that creamed in his mouth. Salted Caramel, that was the flavor of the lollipop that he played around with his tongue, circling and nibbling on it, a slight bruxism when the sweet met his teeth. Choso cringed, a sting ringing in his jaws. He glanced down beside him and saw you slurping down your cup of ramen. He watched as you closed your eyes in content, letting out a quiet “Ahh” when you gulped down the spicy broth of your instant ramen. Groaning, you let out a sigh of satisfaction, the spice still left lingering on your lips and tongue. Sad that your cup is now empty, you looked beside you to see that Choso was already looking at you. You smirked, head slightly dipping on your side as you looked at him mischievously “A picture would last longer” you teased.

“A kiss would be much better” Choso let out a low chuckle at your bashful face, a smile painted on his lips. He leaned his elbow on the table and supported his head with his hand, his eyes slightly drooping, his heart very endeared. Pursing your lips into a tight line, you grumbled under your breath refusing to look him in the eyes. Pushing yourself away from the table, you grabbed your trash and dropped it in the trash can as you pulled the door open, a chime ringing as you did so. Now away from the cold atmosphere of the convenience store, the warm breeze hit your skin. You glanced at your watch and saw it was already half-past four in the afternoon. You felt Choso stand next to you, tearing your gaze away from your watch. You studied his face, blushing again from his earlier remark.

Puckering your lips together, you sheepishly reach for his hand. Interlacing your fingers with his long ones. Choso gazed at your joined hands, his heart swelling at the sight of you making the first move. It was usually him who initiate things between the both of you and having you wordlessly hold his hand had him feeling so high. On the other hand, you felt like digging yourself underground. It wasn’t that you hated holding his hand but rather the fact that you are holding his hand. You had never been one for physical touch but you have always yearned for it. It was just that there was never anyone to hold you and having Choso in your life made you adjust to a few things. And one of them was keeping him a secret from the world.

Except for you and a few sorcerers, the jujutsu world wasn’t very keen on having Choso running around. As he is a cursed spirit, albeit half human, his existence scared those who didn’t know him personally. It was a challenge as he wanted to know more about the world, and you wanted to show him everything that he was deprived of his entire life. Right now was one of those rare cases he was allowed to go out. And taking this opportunity at hand, you took Choso out for a nice day out in the sun.

Getting on a taxi, you snuggled close to Choso and he reciprocated by wrapping his arm around you. You sighed, pushing yourself deeper into his warmth. The traffic passed along in your peripheral vision of the window, your eyes closed in the warmth wrapped around your body. You heard Choso hum making you peek at him with one of your eyes. You saw he also had his eyes closed, taking in the feeling of you pressed against him. He had a small smile on his lips, almost intangible but still there enough for you to see it. You were so in the moment you hadn’t realized you arrived at your location. Quickly giving payment to the driver, the two of you ushered out and were met with the hubbub of chatter. You tighten your grip on Choso’s hand and the two of you walk side by side in a slow manner.

The sunlight was blocked by the row of trees that stood together, the rays of sunshine peeking through the gaps and hitting those who walked under it. Across from it was a lake where people of all ages had built camps by the shore, basking under the sun as they continued their chatter with each other. You and Choso strolled by the pavement that was connected to the shore, hands intertwined. You watched as a leaf descended with the wind guiding its direction and softly landing on Choso’s hair. You giggled, reaching out for the leaf on the top of his head. Choso watched you enchantedly as you focused on the leaf before pocketing it “Why’d you keep it? It’s trash”

“No, it’s not trash” You told him with a grin “I’ll use it for a scrapbook” Choso tilted his head, asking “Scrapbook?”

“Yeah! It’s like a photo album but better” “But that’s a leaf”

You let out an airy laugh, patting Choso in the back “You’ll see. I’ll give it to you in the future when it’s done” Nodding, Choso’s eyes went back to his front “I’ll look forward to it” You hopped slightly as you walk, feeling giddy. Choso pulled you to a sea wall where the two of you settled down. While Choso was busy rummaging the bag, you looked to your right and stared at the ferris wheel that boasted itself with its size, making everything else beside it look small. You watched as lights flickered on the wheel, alternating its colors as the ride leisurely moved in circles. Your attention was broken when you heard a snap from beside you.

Turning, you saw Choso holding a polaroid in his hands, the frame oozing out from the bottom of the camera. You felt a smile tug on your lips and a blush paint your cheeks “Add this to the scrapbook” said Choso. You nodded, taking the photo from his outstretched hand and shook it as you waited for the picture to appear. You felt Choso scoot closer to you, feeling a kiss land on your temple. Surprised, you looked up at Choso whose eyes glinted under the orange sky. He surprised you again when he pressed his lips on your nose, his touch still lingering when he pulled away. You learned early on in your relationship that Choso enjoyed catching you off guard “Choso!” You whined, the pink in your cheeks getting brighter with his actions.

Choso leaned his head on your shoulders, muttering “This is nice” his hair tickled your nose. You buried your face in his hair, breathing in his smell. Your heart swelled in the smell of his hair, it was the same smell as yours as you use the same shampoo. A grin fought its way to your lips. Choso could hear you breathe, wrapping an arm around your waist to pull you in closer.

Choso lifted up his head and planted his chin on your shoulder, his eyes landing on a vendor handing a kid a cloud-like thing with a stick on the bottom “What’s that?” Choso asked as he watched the kid bite into it. You pulled away from him and followed his line of sight “Ah! That’s a cotton candy”

“Candy?” He mused, attention on the kid munching on the candy “Yeah, want some?” You asked, already standing up as you wanted one yourself. It’s been a while since you had one and you couldn’t help but feel nostalgic at the sight. Choso nodded at you, following your actions and held onto you as you led the both of you to the stand.

Ordering one strawberry and one bubblegum flavor, you posed to Choso both the candies “Let’s share!” Choso took the pink one and stared at it for a while before copying what the kid had done earlier and launched his face into the cotton candy. You cackled, holding onto your stomach at the sight of Choso with a mouthful of cotton candy. He gave you a poker face as he chomped on the candy “Whar?” He asked, his mouth still full. You laughed even more loudly, cheeks fully red. He was too cute for you to handle sometimes.

While you were busy laughing, Choso’s attention shifted to the ferris wheel. Like a child in an amusement park, you felt a tug on your arm as Choso pulled you running to the ferris wheel. As there was no line, the both of you only waited until the ferris wheel stopped spinning. And then the two of you ushered into a yellow pod. Feeling the vibration when the ride started, you smiled as Choso eagerly watched as the world slowly turned small the higher the pod went. Taking a bite of his cotton candy, he shifted closer to you. The pod had stopped and you reached out for his cotton candy “Can I have some? I’ll give you mine too”

Choso obliged, tearing a piece from yours and putting it into his mouth. He moaned as the candy melted in his mouth and you can’t help but snicker at his sweet tooth. Choso pulled on his cotton candy and guided it to your lips. You grabbed a bite of it but Choso’s fingers was still inside your mouth causing you to flush red. Letting his hand go, you muttered a “sorry” as Choso moved his fingers to hold your chin. His eyes stared right into yours, he’s so close you could feel his breath on your cheeks. He laid his forehead on yours and whispered “Can I kiss you?”

With a nod, you found your lips pressed against his in a warm, soft kiss. His lips moved slowly into yours, savoring the taste of your lips morphed against his. The sweet strawberry and bubblegum flavor danced around in your mouths as Choso nibbled on your bottom lip with a groan. Handing you his cotton candy, he pulled you into his lap as you wrapped your arms around him, both of your hands preoccupied with your sweets. Gasping, Choso took the opportunity to slip his tongue into your mouth earning a moan from you. You felt him breathe, his warm breath hitting your cheeks. You pressed yourself further into him and Choso held you tighter in his arms. Feeling the need to breathe, you pulled away only to be pulled right back into his lips “Cho-” “Hmn” Choso gave you one last chaste kiss before pulling away, his hands on both of your arms, holding you close to him.

With his forehead still pressed against yours, his eyes fluttered open and stared right into your endeared orbs. He smiled, truly smitten by you. You could feel his eyelash, and blinked and gave him a butterfly kiss “I’m in love with you” He said, arms taking you in. You smiled softly, putting a hand on his cheek “And I love you” And you swore at that moment, you had never felt so in love.

taglist: lawlesshedgehog​

p.s. @lawlesshedgehog, i can’t seem to tag you the normal way so i did this thing where apparently i’d be able to tag you. i’m not sure if it worked but yeah, if it didn’t sorryyy

if you want to be removed from the tag list, feel free to say so in the comment section ​

[kindahoping4forever]

5, 13, 20, 25 since I can’t sleep 😌

Aww, I'll try to bore you to sleep with my answers, Rach, dw. 😌

5) character you were most surprised to end up writing

I would say Gardener!Ash definitely surprised me in that I never expected him to be the center of an ongoing series and to have become the fully formed character that he is. I, of course, try to make even my one shots as detailed as I can but for the most part, I was just trying to clown out on that first story so the fact that I've done 4 fics of him (and have a few more planned) is wild to me.

13) your strengths as an author

I'm my own biggest critic so this question is difficult for me tbh 🥹 What I enjoy most when I read my own stories back is the dialogue between my characters, or as its often referred to "the banter." It's often fun and entertaining to read but I also love the way it shows how comfortable they are with each other, that they kind of have their own little language that they speak with each other, their own rhythm. I think that's typical of a lot of relationships (romantic or not) and I like that it conveys a certain kind of intimacy before anything notably intimate even happens.

20) do you write in long sit-down sessions or in little spurts?

Honestly it's usually both at the same time! 😅 I'll sit down to write for hours at a time but will often walk away with only a small amount of progress bc once I'm at the computer, I've thought of 12 other things I need to do online or something else will distract me (content, friends, "research" for a fic etc.) and so I'll have these little bursts of writing within that day of sitting at the computer.

25) copy/paste a few sentences or a short paragraph that you’re particularly proud of

The first thing that came to mind for this my camping fic, To Love Him Is To Need Him Everywhere, which is almost bordering on self-indulgent because of how flowery and dreamy the descriptive language gets but I think it'll always be one of my low-key favs because the imagery is just so vivid and it reads just like I pictured in my mind.

He lays behind you, wrapping his arms around you and breathing a soft sigh of your name against your hair. The two of you lay in loving silence, basking in the contrast between the cool breeze blowing across your skin and the warmth of your lover’s body on you.

Ash is such a large presence, literally and figuratively, you love the firmness and safety of being enveloped by him. But after a few minutes, you find yourself needing more and you turn over to face him. His eyes are closed and you stop to study him, taking in every detail: how long his lashes are, how much you love the shape of his nose, how structured but soft his cheeks are, how kissable his lips always seem to look, how his sharp jawline still makes your stomach drop after all this time.

You notice the dimples that you love so much starting to form as he smiles at the feel of your stare. He opens his eyes and with a single look, he’s able to read your energy and know exactly what you’re needing. He fits his hand under your jaw and slowly kisses you, letting you lead the way, inviting your tongue to take and taste all you need from him.

He waits for you to be the one to break the kiss and then he’s gently pushing you onto your back so he can lay his head on your chest. You stroke your fingers through his hair while he uses his to trace designs on your bare stomach.

“I don’t know that I’ve ever been more grateful to be sharing a moment with someone,” Ashton says quietly, the thought still formulating in his mind. You look down to see his hazel eyes gazing fondly at you. “I’m glad it’s with you.”

Get To Know Your Author Asks!

[jisungsmochi]

library meetings - l.y.y

(not my gif !) 

library meetings - lyy

genre: college!au, fluff (lots!), mutual pining from the beginning tbh

word count: 2.5k

summary: finals were quickly approaching. after running into the frantic boy in the library, and sharing a study room with him wouldn’t be so bad.

a/n: ahhh the summary is kinda bad but i really liked writing this piece so enjoy!!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

you let out a small huff, in search for an empty table in the library.

“gosh why is this place so busy?” oh wait, finals were approaching, no wonder there were so many frantic university students. you were able to spot an empty study room, quickly pacing to the door. as you were about to enter the key code to the room, you felt someone bump into you. you gave them an annoyed expression, looking up to see who they were. your expression softened once you caught sight of the light brown bangs and glamorous smile of the one and only, liu yangyang.

“oh were you going to use this room?” he started off, pointing out the obvious. no words were able to leave your mouth, resulting in a gentle nod in response. yangyang sighed, slightly annoyed as he was losing time to study for his first exam. you could tell he really could use the private space as more students were entering the library.

“how about we share it? just study separately” you suggested as his eyes lit up.

“oh yeah that sounds good, ladies first” he cracked a small smile as he gestured for you to enter the room. you let out a quiet ‘thankyou’ before seating yourself on one side of the large table. yangyang closed the door, trying not to make any loud noises. he shuffled over to sit across from you, immediately pulling out his study supplies. you watched as his eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“you okay?” he looked up at you, nibbling the side of his cheek.

“uh i actually forgot my pencil case, i was in a rush to get here” he explained as you listened closely. without any more words being exchanged, you handed him a spare black pen and green highlighter from your own pencil case. yangyang raised an eyebrow at you, wondering why you were being so helpful to him. he had seen you around campus a few times. you always had earphones in and most of the time, you were reading or tapping away on your phone. everybody in your year knew of yangyang. he was loud, energetic and seemed to get along with just about everyone he met.

“thanks...um” he stopped himself, realising he didn’t even know your name. you caught on to his ongoing confusion, finding it endearing.

“y/n” you introduced,

“i’m yangyang” he shot you another award winning smile, pulling his hand out to shake yours.

the next two hours was filled with silence, but it wasn’t as stiff and awkward as you previously presumed. yangyang would often tap his pen on the table top, which distracted you. he eventually caught on, mouthing ‘sorry’ multiple times. you also found yourself reading aloud, as it helped you retain information. yangyang caught on, giving you a look that said ‘are you good?’

“i just remember it better if i say it out loud, was i being annoying?” you worried as he shook his head.

“no no, i’m actually curious to your method. i might have to try it for myself” he assured you as he kept the conversation running.

“you definitely should! especially the night before your first exam” you started before shutting your laptop. “our time is up for using the room, unless you want to pay, and honestly i’d rather spend money on some food” you shrug as you finish packing away your things. yangyang follows in suit, listening along to you,

“agreed, we should do this again sometime” he blurted out the last part, not realising what he had just said.

“oh i mean, yeah sure. if you’re up for it! how about tomorrow?” you suggest, an uneasy feeling making its way to your core.

“yeah i can do tomorrow, around this time? here, take my number” yangyang wasn’t sure why he was being so confident with you. he did get along with everyone but he wasn’t usually the one to ask girls out.

you took the small piece of paper he scribbled on and placed it in your bag. you both exited the small study room and made your way to the entrance of the library.

“well i guess this is where we part ways” yangyang smirks down at you, part of him wishing he could spend more time with you.

“i guess so. i’ll see you tomorrow, yangyang, have a nice evening!” you smiled softly at him before pulling up the strap of your backpack and making your way back to your dorm room.

yangyang couldn’t wipe the smile off his face that night as he walked into his own dorm.

“dude what’s with the blushing? you good?” his roommate, haechan teased.

“i’m great. honestly, couldn’t be better” his friend gave him a look, confused as to why he was acting so weird. yangyang wouldn’t admit it, but he was secretly waiting for you to message him that night. he stuck to his phone like glue, mind completely off of studying for his exams. but you didn’t end up messaging him, only due to the fact that you weren’t sure if you were meant to. you thought the only reason he gave you his number was to talk about library meetup times. you were lying to yourself if you said you didn’t want to message him. but you were exhausted, you couldn’t wait for tomorrow.

//

you were standing outside the library doors, your thumbs hovering over yangyang’s contact name. you wanted to message him that you had arrived, but nerves were slowly taking over.

just as you were about to type the message, a figure approached you.

“hey there” yangyang’s voice rang through your ears. you immediately shut off your phone and look over at him. he was dressed in simple black jeans and a comfy black hoodie with a detailed dragon design on the back. you noticed you were wearing a similar outfit. a black hoodie with black jeans.

“h-hi” you recklessly blurted, yangyang gave you a soft smile, eyes scanning your outfit.

“dang, you really had to copy my fit, didn’t you?” he joked, causing you to make a fake shocked face.

“hey! don’f flatter yourself!” you teased back, leading both of you to the same study room. you had booked it prior to your arrival, avoiding the cluster of stressed students.

you sat across from yangyang, just as you had done the day before. he gently ruffled his hair, pulling out all his materials.

this time, you felt yourself shifting in and out of focus. the information just wasn’t absorbing into your brain the way you needed it to. yangyang could sense your frustration, unsure of how to comfort you. he watched as you rubbed your eyes, sore from staring at your laptop screen for what seemed like hours. you let out a short huff, eyes finally meeting his. he gave you a furrow browed look,

“you okay?” he practically whispered, still uncertain of how to comfort you.

“uh yeah, my mind is just going blank” you sighed, shutting your laptop. yangyang nodded along, placing his pencil down on the table before leaning back. he deliberated for a bit, looking back over at you.

“do you want to take a break? maybe go get something to eat so you can refocus?” he suggested, catching you off guard.

“but don’t you still have to study? i feel bad for cutting this session short” you honestly admitted. it was yangyang’s turn to be startled, you enjoyed spending time with him?

“it’s fine really, i can study more when i go back to my dorm. you, on the other hand, need a break. so let’s go” he hurriedly jumped up from his seat, packing his things into his backpack. you slightly chuckled at his urgency, copying his actions. as you exited the library together, yangyang began leading you to the campus cafe.

it had a range of sweet treats, as well as some basic lunch meals such as sandwiches and wraps.

“ladies first” he smirked as he opened the cafe door for you. you felt heat rise to your face, letting out a small ‘thankyou’ before leading him to a booth.

“anything grabbing your attention?” he asked, eyes scanning over the menu.

“i think i’ll just have a grilled cheese and maybe a chocolate milkshake. how about you?”

“i’ll get the same, actually” he softly smiled at you. he wasn’t sure why he felt so comfortable, going on a lunch date with someone he had just met the day before, he just knew it felt right.

“ahh you just love to copy me” you rolled your eyes playfully before pulling out your wallet.

“uh, i’ll pay, i insist” yangyang interrupts you suddenly, causing you to halt your actions.

“are you sure? i’m gonna feel so bad” you pouted at him, yangyang swore his heart was about to combust.

“i’m the one who suggested we come eat, it’s only right if i pay”

“alright fine, but i’ll pay for next time” you blurted out, eyes slowly widening at your own words.

“next time huh? i’d like that” he winked at you before making his way to the counter to order. you swear you felt your heart stop after he said that.

why did he have this effect on you?

you both enjoyed a chill lunch together, conversing about whatever came to your heads. it truly felt like you’d known him forever. the way he listened closely to your stories, eyes always locked with yours, made you swoon. he offered to walk you back to your dorm, in which you kindly accepted. it was getting cooler outdoors, you felt yourself shiver lightly. yangyang noticed, debating whether he could give you his jacket.

“are you cold?” he decided to ask first,

“uh kinda yeah” you admitted, blowing into your hands to keep them warm.

“here” he pulled out his jacket that was stuffed into his backpack, and draped it over your shoulders.

you were lucky to blame your pink cheeks on the cold, rather than the fact you were blushing.

“t-thankyou” you muttered, avoiding his eyes. yangyang just smiled at you, continuing to walk alongside you as you both jumped back into a heated discussion on whether cats were better than dogs.

“i can’t say much, i have both at home” yangyang chuckled, stopping in his tracks as you both reach your dorm room.

“aw that’s cute, i want to meet them sometime” you gawked at the image of yangyang playing with animals.

“yeah that’d be pretty fun” he smiled back softly,

you returned a similar look, eyes drifting to your door and then back to him.

“well i guess this is where i leave, goodluck with finals! i’m sure you’ll do well”

“fingers crossed, right? you’ll smash yours for sure!” he responded, really not wanting the evening to end.

“thanks yang, it means a lot. and maybe we can catch up after we’re done with all our finals? i mean that’s if you want to, i won’t force y-“

“i’d love to, you don’t even know how much i want to” he blurted, covering his mouth slightly with his right hand. you couldn’t wipe the wide smile off your face,

“see you soon, yang” you gently shake your head at how adorable he was. he watched as you opened your door, turning to wave him goodbye. he copied your gesture before turning to walk back to his own dorm. for the first time in a while, yangyang was excited to study and ace his exams.

//

after two gruelling weeks of constant exams and stress, you were finally finished with finals. the moment you exited the examination hall, you pulled out your phone to text yangyang.

you: hey! i finished my last exam, meet at the cafe in 15?

yang: yep! celebratory milkshakes on me!

you: you’re the best

you walked into the cafe, eyes meeting those of a cheery yangyang, sitting in the same booth you both did the first time you came.

“how’d you beat me here?” you sat across from him, before placing your bag next to you.

“just happened to be nearby when you messaged me” he shrugged, but in reality, he knew that you had your final exam today and was going to meet you at the hall, until you messaged him to come to the cafe.

he had already ordered you both chocolate milkshakes,

“cheers to not having to stress for the rest of the year” you exclaimed, clinking your glass with his.

as you both took sips from your delicious drinks, you noticed that yangyang seemed to be on edge. you didn’t want to say much, but he seemed more reserved and quieter than usual. you initially deemed it as exam burnout affecting his mood.

as you were both walking around campus, yangyang led you both to sit on a small bench under the large oak tree, in front of the library.

there was a short silence before yangyang spoke up,

“can i ask you something?” he murmured, almost too quiet for you to hear.

“of course, what is it?” you questioned, paying full attention to the boy next to you.

“i’ve been meaning to bring this up, but i really don’t know how. here goes nothing, i think you’re really awesome. and hella fun to be around. i like spending time with you” he paused briefly to look at your reaction. you stared back at him with doe eyes, urging he continue.

“what i’m saying is that, i don’t want to be just friends with you anymore. i wanted to know if you’d go out with me?” his lips pursed at the final words, uncertain of how you could respond. you hesitated for a bit, wanting your words to flow out smoothly.

“i like spending time with you too, yang. it’s been really fun, you’ve made me laugh more than anyone ever has. and, just between us, you really got me through finals. of course i’ll go out with you” you shyly looked away from him after you said the last part. yangyang couldn’t contain his happiness, he pulled you to his side, his right arm slung over your shoulders.

“i don’t even know what i was worried about, how could you have resisted me?”

he teased, ruffling your hair slightly. you rolled your eyes, playfully shoving your elbow into his torso.

“better start counting your days, yang” you retort, eyes meeting his.

“counting the days we are together? sounds like a plan to me” he chuckled, softly stroking your hair as you looked up at him.

from that day onwards, yangyang was no longer the clueless guy you’d seen on campus. he was no longer your unofficial study buddy. he was much more than that. and you couldn’t wait to see how the rest of your relationship would grow.

[zirkkun]

I can't sleep so I'm gonna ramble for a minute here about. uh. 2020 i guess lol everyone else is so might as well jump on the bandwagon.

Be aware this is really really fucking long so it's a commitment to read it lmao sorry i just cannot sleep and i guess i had more on my mind about this year than i thought. I also did not proofread this at all. I just started writing and didn't look back lol

This year was... Weird for me. It started out with me feeling my best in January, comfortable and positive as I did my nth playthrough of DBH with friends and finally having enough alts of my boy Alfonse in FEH to have a team of Just him to fight with. (Priorities, right?) February hit, and things were still going good. I met Ray Chase and had him sign a print I did of Roy and Alfonse in some casual outfits for a scrapped au I wrote years ago. (And I gave him one 😊). Hell, like, covid was just coming around when me and my friends went to the con that weekend and a breakout of it hit the city just south of where the con was like a week before, but I was genuinely so excited for it that like I was like "Yeah, if i die, i die. Whatever happens happens." God, at this point, the Alfonse gc I was in was still alive and I still didn't talk to anyone in the group outside of that gc. Lowkey miss it tbh. But oh well. Things move on.

But that con was like... Stressful. I usually have fair amounts of stress at cons, being around so many people, I fear theft, unwanted contact, y'know, the standard; but my friend group was so filled with tension that it was absolutely painful. We'd been split most of the weekend, and if the two groups came together, it was hell, because it just caused unwanted arguments. I felt really bad cause I didn't want them to be upset, yknow? But i also wanted to hang out with my friends all at once. So i swapped between the groups a bit over the weekend. And blew WAY more money than I should have and lowkey it kind of fucked me over for the rest of the year cause I haven't had a job all year outside of, like, a local church job that pays at a rare max of $100 a month ;w;

I'd been struggling in school the previous semester already, about halfway through having just stopped going to classes altogether, yet still somehow managed to pass everything with B's and A's. The next semester rolled around, and I thought at first the distraction and inability to do anything was because of the con, and as it persisted after, I thought it was just post-con depression. But, as it turned out, no, it's just been my biggest relapse of depression since the end of high school, and frankly, it's only gotten worse since. I can't sleep rn because I'm between not wanting to do anything because I have a lack of emotions and motivation and not feeling deserving of sleep lol. I checked out of school on February 28th, however, I was convinced I was merely demotivated by my surroundings -- at this point, I was studying Japanese, and one of my friends at the time was a (although probably unintentionally) complete braggart about how much he was studying and how he was improving... not to mention he was textbook example of "This is an Actual Weeaboo, don't Fucking Do this." (One of many reasons i said friend at the time lol) it was just... So draining being around him, and I had to see him in class every day of the week. I barely scraped together assignments last-minute and never studied under the idea of "What does it matter if I'm not putting in my 100%?" So I checked out, with plans of transferring for the following semester.

Well, then March hit. Y'all know how March went down lmao.

I pretty much locked myself in my room at all times during March, going between Animal Crossing and BOTW (which actually racked up like 200ish hours i think according to the nintendo year in review i had lmao). I started making a bit closer online friends at this point, notably @levitumbling who decided to take me in as his channel designer for YouTube and I've been ever since! But. Of course. My first task? A Sans meme. My payment? One Switch copy of Undertale because he considered it a disgrace that I'd never played the game before.

Now, let me tell you. I was fuckin scared to play this game. I held onto it for weeks between the fear of "My friend bought me this and i should play this" and "I told myself I'd never touch this game with a 20 mile pole because of how much it's been shoved down my throat over the years." So, one day, I don't remember when, early April, I said, fuck it, I'll play it for a little bit, just enough to say "hey i played it for a bit!" and then never go back.

The only thing that stopped me from beating the whole thing in one sitting was it was the crack of dawn when I passed out, extremely tired and extremely frustrated by the fact I couldn't beat Muffet. Yes, I got that far in one sitting I intended to play for 15 minutes tops.

Now. Let me fuckin tell you. About my first playthrough of Undertale. I haven't gone into a game knowing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING about it like... I think ever. Usually I know what style of game it is, the genre, the main plot premise. I knew nothing other than the existence of Sans (and, as it turned out, I'd heard some of the soundtrack pieces before, notably Bonetrousle I heard this cover of it in a radio livestream a while back and never really looked it up, but was always excited when the radio looped back around to it being on; and I'd heard Dating Start! because that's Alpharad's go-to sponsorship ost lmao.) But anyway. I was completely in the dark. Do yall mind if i just go through some highlights of my favorite memories? This is supposed to be a summary of the year but I mean, I think this made a big enough impact on me to really like. Discuss it a bit.

I watched the whole opening cutscene, started a new game under my old screenname, "Yoru," since in naming the "Fallen Child," I assumed they were dead. Well, I was a little surprised to just be that child, alive, two seconds later, but whatever, I rolled with it.

I genuinely trusted Flowey right away. Like no shit. He told me run into the "friendliness pellets" and I didn't even fucking question it. And when Toriel came in? And she said to follow her? I straight up was like "Why the hell should I trust you?? That guy just tried to kill me what says you wont?" I followed only because the game made me but i was Wary the whole time. It took me a LONG time to warm up to Toriel.

Now. Let me tell you how stupid I am as well. The game says over and over right, "Don't fight. Spare. Have Mercy when names are Yellow." Well, I took this literally. I didn't understand the Act mechanic most of the time, and when something didn't work I just said, fuck it, and fought them. If their name didn't turn yellow, I just fought them. "They don't want Mercy if their name isn't yellow, right?" After a while, I'd started getting bored of fighting and would just run away, but like, I came to a point where I was like "I have a really low level, I'm really going to regret this later on if I don't grind for a while."

I don't know when I stopped but. I think I was only one or two kills away from a genocide run accidentally my first playthrough, based on how I think I was LV 3 and looking at genocide playthroughs, you're LV 3 or 4 when you fight Toriel. Like. Holy fuck. I can't imagine what I would have thought of this game if that happened lmao.

Speaking of Toriel, still didn't trust her, at all. When we got to Home, and after I did Every Single different phrase she says when you go downstairs before you talk to her reading about snails; I did not Hesitate to ask "cool uh when the fuck can I leave?" When we got to the Ruins exit I was like, ah, here it is. The betrayal from her I was expecting, where she tries to kill me. Well, nothing on the Act menu worked, right? So... I fought and killed her. I didn't really care, actually. I just kept going.

Then meeting Sans and Papyrus happened. I lost my fucking shit at this part, mostly when they were talking, because every time Sans made a pun it would zoom in on him and do a rimshot. The puns were not funny and I was definitely on Pap's side of "oh my GOD shut up." But that fucking zoom in and rimshot was just so fourth wall breaking and unexpected. Fuck, it still gets me. Anyway. Game continues. I again lose my shit at (insane spinning in random directions) "OH MY GOD! IS THAT A HUMAN?" "uh, i think that's a rock." "OH. WAIT! WHAT'S THAT IN FRONT OF THE ROCK?? (IS IT A HUMAN??)" "(yes.)" "OH MY GOD!!!" and still think these two moments in the game are Peak comedy. Oh, and let me tell you, I did not like either of these two at this point. Sans I was like, okay, hes kind of a dumbass in a funny way, but Papyrus is a dumbass in a way that just annoys me. Genuinely the archetype that misses social cues and therefore has miscommunication usually just annoys me to no end. (Mostly for the miscommunication. It's my least favorite trope and makes me unreasonably angry.) But yeah. Wasn't really a fan. But out of everyone so far? Definitely found Sans to be the most tolerable. But that's about all I thought of him lmao.

Getting to Snowdin, with the Papyrus battle, remember how I said I didn't like Papyrus? And yes, this was something I genuinely thought at one point, I genuinely hated Papyrus, imagine that. What a wild world that is. But anyway. You know how his Act menu has the "Flirt" option? I, for no reason, gunned it for the Flirt option, even though I did not want to. Then when he was like "WE'LL GO ON A DATE! LATER!!" i was like yea sure okay lmao. Again, couldn't figure out the Act menu to turn his name yellow, so I fought him, and he was one or two attacks from dying (miraculously) when he ended the battle. I spared him here cause, well, he spared me, it was only fair. Then this guy again is like "ILL BE AT MY HOUSE WHEN YOU WANT TO GO ON THAT DATE!" and i was like haha funny but still turned around to go on the date. Like why? I have no idea. I think I was more like "haha hes probably not gonna be there and its just cause i picked that option and lo and behold there was an actual fucking date. Oh my god. I have never in my life been on a video game date where one party was convinced I was infatuated with them and im here on the other side of the screen like "oh my god make this end i can't stand being around you.???" But still. The date was. Really fucking funny. I wish I could experience it for the first time again like holy shit. There are few playthroughs I did after this where I didn't go on the Pap date, even if I just spedrun through it.

So then you get to Waterfall and Sans is there like "hey wanna go to grillbys" and i was like sure why not so we go there and my choices were fries & ketchup (so i did not get the legendary scene where he chugged a bottle of ketchup, but i sure did my second playthrough, and let me tell you, i was disgusted). But like. This whole experience at grillby's like, the whoopee cushion, him using a comb on his bald ass skull, him just fuckin unapologetically scratching his ass for no reason?? Bro i was like "why the fuck is this guy part of the Tumblr Sexymen™ group ??? He's so ????? Gross???????" and like i still have this question tbh lmao. But like. Okay so he asks you "what do you think of my bro?" And my genuine answer was "uncool" and he was like "hey man sarcasm isnt funny" and can i just mention how like inheritly manipulative sans actually is like fuck he does things like this where he throws your answer the other way a few times and Every time it actually swayed me the other way. Because right here I went. "Oh. Maybe Papyrus is better than I thought." Like holy fuck maybe i should be more aware if something like that can sway my opinion so easily LMAO.

Anyway waterfall i genuinely was very bored of the whole time. I spent like a genuine 20 minutes figuring out the puzzle where you have to talk to a wall and I actually didn't realize you could move the telescope around. What helped me solve it is my friend's advice before I played it. "Inspect everything. Even talk to walls. Trust me." And literally thats how I solved it. But pretty much everything in Waterfall otherwise bored me. I did think it was pretty though, and did enjoy reading the lore, but when it started talking about monster biology my one fear had been realized: oh god, oh fuck. My original species for my own series also has physical Souls and die by turning to dust because they're made entirely of magic. God fuck. My luck, it has to be something popular, so now everyone's gonna think I'm a ripoff. But, at the same time, I do think it helped me understand monster biology (and it helped me come up with the ULR biology) better, because I've put in a lot of thought to existence of a species that exists only by magic and a Soul (which, mine only actually have half a Soul, as a full Soul makes a being immortal, which was also similar to the boss monsters in a way). It definitely made a lot more sense for like, the skeletons n stuff for me, because like my characters are wholly shapeshifters but usually take human form, and while they have "organs" in the places humans would have them, they don't operate. They're just placeholders, because they just live with their Soul. So I've always thought the same with UT monsters, since the skelebros can live without organs, that means so do the rest of the monsters, even if they have animal-like appearances.

Off topic lmao. Back to UT. So, the Undyne fight was kind of the turning point for me. She was pissing me off so much during this whole game and like I was like "if theres another fucking part where I have to run away from her im going to scream." Well, once again, her name wasn't yellow, so I wasn't going to spare her... and, actively, I made the decision to kill her, because I didn't want to deal with her still chasing me later on in the game. It took me a long time to beat her, and when I did, I texted my friend (@cheshiregrinnbuttoneyes ) in excitment like "YES I FINALLY KILLED UNDYNE" and she texted back like "YOU DID WHAT?????" and i was like "i.... Killed Undyne????" she replies, "YOU DONT HAVE TO OMFG WHY" and im like "I DIDN'T HAVE TO?? THERE'S OTHER OPTIONS?????" and shes like "YES OMFG THAT'S LITERALLY THE PREMISE OF THE GAME" and im "WHAT."

So then. I get that call from Papyrus like. "HEY! YOU ME AND UNDYNE SHOULD HANG OUT SOMETIME!"

oh my god the guilt i felt.

alphys on undernet being like "omfg i forgot to watch undyne fight the human. ah ill ask her about it later she never loses <3"

bro. i nearly fuckin cried. i was like. Not to mention I'd gotten the crush question right for Mettaton's quiz in answering Undyne (bc i was like "plz be gay plz be gay") so it fucking cut like a knife what I'd done.

I don't remember when I let myself get passed it. But I do know that the whole story arc between Alphys and Mettaton went way over my head. Like, i know im probs the minority on this, but I adore Alphys, I have since I first met her in game, and like, when Mettaton was like "ALPHYS HAS BEEN LYING TO YOU!" i just went "...nah."

Also, I didnt like mettaton at this point, cause I thought he was being really obnoxious, and then the turn around to betray Alphys really kinda pissed me off.

But like.

Oh my god.

Remember how I said I swapped my opinion on Pap earlier bc of Sans's comment? Yeah that was a pretty fast turnaround, but it still took me a few times.

But the second i saw mettaton ex

I was like

"HIM. HE. HE'S THE ONE I LOVE."

Like, full turnaround from Undyne, I actively refused to kill him. All times I thought he was an asshole? Forgotten. Me thinking he's a selfish prick? Gone. Nada. Nothing. Pure adoration. Suddenly every flaw he had was pushed aside purely from how hot I thought he was. Also, fuckin, im really glad i played this when no one in my house was awake, because I still didn't understand the Act mechanic here, and every time you attack mettaton he has this like moan he does and im like oh my god. stop. omfg.

At the end, too, when there was the calls and everything, when he had his big turnaround, I was just so happy for him I genuinely cried. Also, I had to do his battle probably the most out of everyone's in the game (not including genocide), so when it came around to his battle during the (glitchless) speedruns i did, i was more invested in how fast I could rack up points, cause you need 10k rating points to pass, and I actually did get that before he lost his legs, but apparently he needed to lose those too before you passed lol. Unfortunate.

Anyway after Alphys talked to you and everything, i genuinely went to see if Mettaton was still there, but he wasn't :( so i just went to New Home. I was very ill prepared for the fight against Asgore and the only reason I struggled with it so much was because my only healing items were like. Something that healed like 10 or 12 hp and the snowman piece. I was LV 9 when i finished the game, so like, my HP was pretty high, but i didnt have the G to buy items, so i was pretty much fucked. Yes. I had to eat the snowman to win.

Oh speaking of terrifying shit though. Photoshop flowey? My god. I haven't been afraid of a video game boss so much since I was a little kid. It was like 3 am and i was not prepared for him to just delete my save file and then kill me on repeat, glitching and breaking everything as he pleased. Bruh i was genuinely scared. Like, not even just, "oh yikes :(" or something. Like, crying scared. Lmao im an emotional bitch by nature.

I of course had to restart from the beginning again to get the True Pacifist ending. I was very careful to never touch the Fight button literally ever. And, it actually took me a while to reset, because I hate erasing my original save files, yknow? But, well, as it turned out? While technically New Game+ by naming, resetting doesn't erase everything you did. It wasn't a new file. I was a little confused at first to be honest. Toriel saying things were familiar, remembering things I said, Papyrus and Undyne both recognizing me, like. It was unnerving.

When I got to the end, i had to look up how to get Alphys's date (since my friend told me the way to unlock TP was to go on all the dates, but Alphys's was definitely designed in mind of you turning around from New Home and going back to talk to people rather than a new reset. So after unlocking it, getting through Alphys's date (i still remember being like, verbally, "omg alphys you look so nice??" When she came out with the dress on and then had a thought to myself like... since when do i care about what people look like? since when do i compliment people? At that point, while I didn't consider myself to be a rude person, I definitely wasn't exactly all that concerned about others for anything. Sure, I cared about others' lives, but I tended to be a bit more judgemental internally, and just. Didn't really give a fuck about what people did in the most negative sense possible, unless it involved me. Yet, it rolled off my tongue like it was something id say normally to anyone. I really wonder if this is the true turning point for me this year.)

Getting to the end, with everyone cheering me on. Hoo boy. This was the start of many tears to come. Papyrus's "DO WHAT I WOULD DO! BELIEVE IN YOU!!" sticks with me the most. I wasn't surprised by Flowey's actions, but what fucking threw me for a loop was like. When Flowey was revealed as Asriel, I was genuinely jaw-drop shocked. I was like. Holy fuck. I thought he was dead. What the hell. To this day, though, i still think Hopes and Dreams hits me the hardest out of all the boss battle themes. It doesn't super bother me, bc like, difference in opinion is whatever, but like. Whenever I see Megalovania at the top of someone's ost list for Undertale I'm just... Why? Maybe it's because I'd overheard it meme'd to much before I played the game, but like, i dunno, it's not a bad song, but it's not the most emotional provoking piece for me, so it's pretty far down my list. Hopes and Dreams will still remain my #1.

I really did feel determined during this battle. I really felt a lot of emotion. I felt excited. I felt frightened. I felt ambitious. Asriel's battle is probably still the hardest for me, and yes, I'm counting genocide this time. I can't grasp his magic patterns at all, and I more so played it as a "okay, how much damage can i take? Whats his next move?" As i healed every other turn. It took me a very long time to beat him (though no 11 hours like Sans, this was more like, 2 or 3 max) and when I got to the part with the Lost Souls, most of the characters just said their "we hate you" piece and i was like "nope you're controlled" right.

But then there's Sans's "just give up. i did."

I genuinely had to stop. I set down my controller and just sat for a minute. I'd mentioned before how much I've been struggling with depression for years now, and it's at the worst it's been since high school. Maybe you'd think when I saw that, I was like "sure, maybe I should give up." But... It's really the "i did." that hit me like a rock to the stomach. While I do know a couple other people with depression, the most discussion we have with it is "haha i wanna die" kinda jokes yknow? Nothing really serious. And, well, I've always been the type to lean to fictional characters for support more than real people, since I've just been so disconnected from a lot of friends growing up and was too scared to talk about anything with my family.

So seeing someone else say "just give up. i did." hit me so fucking hard that I just started crying. I had already been in a real sappy mood cause the whole scene was so emotional as it was, even if merely the cliche of friendship will save all, y'know what? Its a good ass fuckin trope and makes me emotional lmao.

So, naturally, I was more hyperaware of Sans's implied depression from here onward. The conversations with everyone post-battle left me crying. God, so did the hug with Asriel. I was just fucking bawling.

Oh god. I didn't even mention. "Despite everything, it's still you." Another line that just hit me and I had to pause.

So admist my crying mess, I was telling my friend I'd beat Undertale again. He asks me "so... you gonna play the genocide route?" And I already had from the beginning. I always want to play every available route in a game. I see no point in paying for something and then not playing it all. I'd consider myself a completionist who doesn't ever actually finish anything lmao.

I definitely put my emotions aside for genocide. The absolute hardest kill for me was Papyrus, though. And i was absolutely fucking heartbroken when he said he still believed me as his last words. But I forced it aside. I didn't want to reset. I wanted to beat it to have it under my belt that I had. I was pretty sure the Sans battle would be here, since I hadn't heard Megalovania in the game yet, and I was aware of how hard the battle was, despite never seeing it.

Undyne's battle I'm more emotional about in retrospect than I was at the time. At the time, I didn't care, didn't like the theme much, and the dings gave me a headache. Undyne isn't exactly my favorite character (though definitely not my least favorite, that role is given to Frisk with Toriel not close behind ahdhsb im sorry), so I really wasn't concerned about it. Not to mention, I don't know why, but all of the battles I struggled with EXCEPT Undyne's I ended up liking the character more as a result. Maybe it was the dinging lmao.

Bro you shoulda seen how prepared I was for Mettaton NEO's battle to be hard as fuck. I was like sitting upright, took deep breaths before hitting fight, then when he died in one shot i just kind of "wh...what." Still very disappointed lol but I guess that's kind of the point of the genocide route.

Then came the Sans fight. As I said, I spent 11 hours on this. I genuinely didn't pay attention to what he said after a while, but I do remember the first time I read it, I was fucking terrified. Usually, sarcasm, hatred, and sass is very hard to convey through pure text, especially when it's said in the same tone as his usual talking. But the absolute harshness, the coldness, and the lack of any fucks given Sans had at that point was so plainly transparent through everything he said that it fucking scared me. Toby Fox's writing here was fantastic. I can only dream of being able to write like that. Frankly, I love his writing in general. Actually, fuck it, I love all of the artistic takes of this game. This is gonna sound weird but... The "childishness" of it just is so good. Like, there's no rules. Every socially accepted rule of art, writing, character design, speech patterns, and even basic grammar are thrown aside. He didn't just think outside of the box, there literally was no box. I call it childish only because like, children also create with no rules. They have no rules to restrict their creativity. And seeing that embraced in Undertale in every form possible just blows me away.

Anyway. The battle. It. Was hard. Thats a given. I spent about two weeks playing it on and off, and it's probably the most healthily I've treated myself in recent memory, because when it became too much for me to handle, I set it down and took a break. I would retain what I memorized and use it for the next time I picked it up. Frankly, it came to a point where every time I opened up Undertale to play, it was more just cause I wanted to see him lmao. The guy hated my existence at this point and it's not like i disacknowledged that. But it just felt like every time i opened the game... Idk. I don't know what I felt. I can tell you for sure this isn't the time when Sans started slipping into my favorite character spot over Mettaton, that didn't come until the development of Act to Flirt's first demo, which was a month or so later lmao.

I was very excited when I beat Sans.

But then, after it was over, I felt very empty.

I didn't feel good about beating genocide. I still don't. I want to play the boss battles again, cause they were really fun, despite how hard they were, but I can't bring myself to.

When I got to Chara, and everything went to black, I just wiped my save and started fresh. I think this was the first time I used the name "Willo" for anything. I just picked a random name to use, and Willo was the first thing that came to mind.

I beat neutral again many times, trying to unlock as many secrets as I could. I accidentally spent like, way too long trying to get Sans's room, because I couldn't figure out how to do it... which is when I started speedrunning the game, because I was just so used to going through it all. I timed myself once, and I got somewhere around 1:20:00 ish, which puts me at the very bottom of the NG+ Glitchless runs by like 30 minutes, but hey, it's still not too bad all things considered.

I'd started working on Act to Flirt sometime in between the speedruns. I was playing Papyrus's date again, and I had this thought of. What if Undertale... but all boss fights are instead like Papyrus's date?? I pitched the idea to my friend who was like "thats definitely been done before lol" and immediately I almost shut down the idea. But then I still had that glimmer of hope that, maybe, since I haven't made it yet, people would like my game because it was by me. Besides, quarantine was getting to me. I needed some way to spend my time. So on May 6th to May 7th, I spent the whole 24 hour period making the first proof of concept for the game, which was UI setup and Flowey's tutorial date. I hadn't made any of the art yet, so it was a black background with Flowey's undertale sprite. I originally was going to make everything more visual novel like in the sense that, so like on Papyrus's date, you could make choices like "unwrap the present" "dont unwrap the present" or "you look great" "you look terrible" and getting the ending would involve pretty much just saying the right things at the right times. But this alone was... Yknow, already done before, and part of what makes Undertale so great is that it's, despite its many outside influences, very unique in its gameplay. So I decided to make the dates more like puzzle-solving RPG's, and frankly, since doing that, I dont know if I want to go back to making other visual novels lmao.

After making the first demo and releasing it, I hit a creative funk. I wanted to make the next demo right away, but I forced myself to stop (since i was working 16+ hour days to finish it in exactly a week. I didn't eat much and i slept very little during this time too. Dont do this lmao). I didn't know if the game would be received, and frankly, I'd had many failed projects in the past due to lack of support. I lost a lot of support in the past due to the dropped projects I kept starting and quitting because I had such a small audience, and that made me lose a lot of interest and motivation to work on them. So I posted the first demo and waited. I was very shocked to have a YouTuber with over a million subs play it that weekend. Dantekris I think was her channel name. She speaks Russian, and I never understood a word she said, but I've still watched her let's plays because I enjoy seeing her reactions. I hate that YouTube keeps deleting my responses on her videos, probably because they're long and in English so it's marked as spam on a comments section full of purely Russian comments yknow. But it makes me feel like such an ass ;w;

Mairusu is the next large YouTuber who played it and my god I love seeing when he uploads a new update for my game because I genuinely have no idea what to expect from him. I don't know what it is but he's just so absolutely funny to me. He also seems to be the most common breaker of my game though. Stop making your own bugs!! I try to testplay to find the bugs he gets and it's like.... what did you do.... how did you skip that whole date im so confused thats not supposed to happen..... He accidentally skipped all of Muffet's date because of this too and hers is supposed to be the hardest in the game right now so I'm very upset by it;; i dont know how it happened, it never happens for me.

But like. I was definitely struggling a bit with the direction I wanted to take AtF. I wanted there to be a core message, like with Undertale and many other of my favorite things. When there's a core theme to write about, it makes things a lot easier to compose than if you have a plot with no meaning to it. It ties it all together for a common purpose. But, as I started diving more into the fandom around this time, finding not only it being still alive but still enormous and filled with passion.

Passion. Hm. That's familiar. That's the trait I gave the player character, rather than determination. While it was intended for giggles "haha dating game u have passion wink wonk," it started becoming more than that. It started becoming a manifestation of what I really felt upon finally soaking myself into the deep end of this pool I'd once been too afraid to step into. Passion. Everyone here is so driven by their passion for this game, the characters, its story. Everyone is so inspired and creative. That's it. That's what I wanted Act to Flirt to be.

A game made for those who have already dived deep into Undertale. A game made for those who have the same level if passion I've wittnessed. A game that someone might stumble upon, merely wanting any Undertale content they can find, and a dating sim leaves them grasping at straws, only to find it's a game instead deeply rooted in how much they care about this world and its people. You have a Soul of Passion, because your passion for Undertale brought you to this game. That's what the core message is. Every ending is supposed to depict different kinds of empathy, and True Passion shows you truly cared the most you could for all of these characters. Sans is so blocked from it because, well, how can he really believe it? "if we're really friends, you won't come back," right? But here you are. Again and again.

And Heartbreak. Whose heart is really the one breaking here? Taking the Hopes and Dreams of every single character you've grown to care for and crushing it beneath your feet... who is the one suffering in the end?

I just... I'm very excited. I've written that game with the player as the main character. Not Willo. Not Frisk. Not anybody else. You, the player, are the main character. I've honestly done a lot of looking around in the DDLC code to make this game as 4th wall breaking as I can (without like. Disrupting it as a game experience like ddlc is, with monika deleting things and stuff). Just enough to leave the player unsettled and confused. Like. "Me? Are you talking to me?" Yes. You. Directly to you.

I started sketching out designs and ideas for ULR around July. I genuinely loved Underlust after finding out about it, even though it was posed to me as an insult about the contents of Act to Flirt. I was both like "uh... Act to Flirt is nothing like this. Maybe in reversed roles at best but..." and also "okay but this? This shit is good. Thank you." But finding out it was discontinued and wanting more, well, that's when I decided to make ULR. I presented the idea to my friends, who were like "please stop making aus," and then continued onward. I told myself I wasn't going to work on it though until after I finished Act to Flirt... Then after the next demo came out... Then it turned out I was working on it too much and it resulted in me rushing my release of the 3rd demo of AtF because I'd been so distracted I was going to miss my release deadline of the end of August, before school. I... Still kinda regret that a lot. It's still very buggy. Though I hope I got them all for the next demo...

But speaking of school .... ha... Remember when i said i was going to transfer to another school? Well, I did, and for the first few weeks it was fine! Then I started skipping assignments I didn't want to do. Then I started panicking about my low grades. Then I started getting behind on assignments. Then I stopped going to classes. Then I lost all motivation to work on anything at all. I just locked myself in my room and did next to nothing with the occasional drawing here and there, for weeks. It came to the point where I was like "I just have to get through this semester, then I'll drop out." But if I ever wanted to go back to school, having all F's on my last report card would not bode well for my acceptance. Which lead to more stress. I didn't want to fail, but I also didn't have any motivation to work. I would do one assignment here or there, feel good about myself, then realize I was still months behind on work and suddenly oh god oh fuck finals are next week. And my solution? I just. Fuckin dropped out. Oh my god. It was such a relief to just get that weight off my shoulders that I'd been carrying for months on end, preventing me to do anything I wanted to work on.

Well. Then my car tires died. So that's a thing. But good news! Between commissions and gifts, I have enough money to get them replaced! I don't think I've ever like... Been so excited about that before.

And, well. Now I'm here, pretty much. God, I just went through my entire year summary, and it feels like it was both forever long but also not long at all. I don't get it. 2021 still feels like a far off future, despite the fact I'm now 5 hours into it. Yes, I spent 4 hours writing this. Whoops. Oh well. I couldn't sleep anyway, so it's not that big of a deal.

All in all though... Despite being locked inside, away from my friends, unable to talk to anyone about the things i was enjoying, and living in fear of getting sick at all ever with anything, 2020 definitely fuckin changed me for the better. It was a hellhole of a year and I'd never do it again or wish it upon my worst enemy, but I came out a better person... I think. I hope.

It seems cliche to bring back but fuck it. Undertale? My friend insists its core message was that anyone can be a good person if they just try, which I mean, it definitely probably was intended that way. But that never was the message I felt while playing it.

What lesson I took from it was "things aren't always as they seem."

Flowey betrays you immediately, but then you find out he's just the remnants of a boy who died years ago and is still grieving over the loss of his best friend, whomst, despite how much he cares for them, recognizes they weren't good to him and he'd been manipulated and used by them.

Toriel is a kind and caring woman, a still grieving mother over the loss of her children, who seems to have kindness to no end, but is actually filled with such hatred and depression that she regularly gets drunk, swears, and still, without resilience, hates her ex husband.

Sans is a playful character who is full of puns, a gross atmosphere, and decided to break physics just because he can. He's the embodiment of a comic relief character. But at the same time, he's suffering, struggling, in constant pain and worry. He's lazy, but quick on his feet. He's harmless but will kill without hesitation if need be. He's both caring and the least caring of them all.

Papyrus is like... a self-centered asshole in a way, when you first meet him. He prides himself and everything he does. Yet still, he's actually quite open and accepting and loves everyone. He loves talking with and being with other people, even if maybe sometimes he has a different interpretation of social interaction from the "norm."

Undyne comes off as cruel and deadly, such even being emphasized in many points. But, deep down, she's extremely caring for those who are close to her, and her only cruelty is dealt to those who have wronged her in some way.

Alphys is a sweet and nervous wreck who comes off as helpful and lacking a filter due to her tendency to ramble. She seems to be merely anxious due to likely social anxiety... But you eventually find out that she's a liar who merely wants to create a world to be a better place, and by doing so, she pretends all the bads do not exist.

Mettaton comes off as an absolute self-centered asshole. Like. There's no way around that. He seemingly has no regard for other people with only full intentions of helping himself. But, deep down, he actually cares a lot for other people, especially his family and friends, and just tends to get caught up in things while he's in the moment.

Muffet seems to be greedy with how much money she begs people to give her for the spiders, but, as it turns out, she's flat broke and drops no G when you beat or kill her. She merely needs the money to help the spiders.

Asgore, too, is built up to be this ruthless killer throughout the whole game, and when you finally meet him, he's an incredibly sweet guy who's only filled with regret, and because of his past decisions, has decided to put aside his hopes for the sake of his people.

I...

Didn't see any of these characters for who they really were right away. Why would I? Few of these archetypes are explored much in a lot of fiction lately, or at least what I've been consuming; and is more focused around how someone can change their flaws into something positive... Not how to accept someone for who they are, despite the wrongs they may have committed or the lives they lead. Everyone's different. Everyone's grown up differently. Everyone has a reason for what they do.

And it took me playing this game to realize such a simple concept that I probably should have learned years ago.

That's why I really think 2020 changed me for the better. I made a realization that I should have had many years ago, and it's made me a lot more confident in expressing myself, accepting people for what they do, and seeing the brighter side to everything. I say that, sitting here filled with nothing and void of all emotion whatsoever... But it's a conscious thought i have. My emotions are so weird... They're either on full blast or I feel nothing at all. But yet I have... Thoughts of what i should feel? It's weird. Idk. This is why I'm getting therapy LMAO

But yea. 2020? Fuck you. But also thank you. But mostly fuck you and good riddance lmao

[drethanramslay]

A funny thing called Fate: Chapter 2

Pairing: Bryce X MC (Aisha Khurrana)

Word Count: 4.6 K words (yeah yeah its more than usual)

Series Masterlist

Masterlist

Warning: None, just some cursing

Author’s note: The next chapter is here and it is in Aisha’s POV!!

I decided to take part in @choicesseptemberchallenge20​ and the prompt is heaven which you will find in bold. 

TERMS THAT YOU NEED TO KNOW:

- IIT, Delhi: It’s one of the most premier institute for engineering in India. Delhi campus is said to be the best one in the country. The majority of the Indian CEO’s like Google, at least have a degree of IIT under their belt. 

-ku'uipo: Sweetheart

-'Ae: Yes

- Beta padhai par dhyaan do, dost aate jaate hai: Child, focus on your studies, friends come and go (TBH this is the one line which maximum desi kids have heard while growing up. That's why we can be uh.. awkward in making new friends lol)

-Main kya gadhi hoon: I'm such a dumbass (side note: gadhi (female) actually means donkey in hindi)

-Duniya main maine itna bada gaandu kabhi dekha nahi hai maine: I have not seen a bigger asshole than this guy. (yes I love swearing in hindi and what about it)

Forgive me if i made any errors

10 YEARS AGO- AISHA'S POV

My fingers ran against the spines of the book, my head tilted as I searched for a new book to dive into.

"Found anything of your liking, Aisha?" Tina, the librarian asked, her kind eyes twinkling. The old librarian loved me because I always helped around in sorting the books or with checkout. She suggested that if I were to help her, she would pay me so I decided why not?

But the lack of people coming to the library and their constant need to be fake on social media, flexing about their looks instead of textbooks often left the library empty which consequently resulted in free time.

Not that I minded.

In that free time I would either catch up on my study assignments or I would read the books recently added to the collection be it fiction, politics, history, astronomy... I wasn't picky about the genres.

But lately, my attention is being drawn to medical journals and textbooks. Yes, I'm 16 and that its definitely not people my age do but, to be the person balancing on the tightrope between life and death, the person who stands between existence and heaven... it's just a beautiful paradox that I can't help be captivated by the concept.

That and my strengths are biology and chemistry so its just an added plus. So, I definitely dream of being a world class doctor. 

Not to brag, but I know all the pulse points in the body and can name the bones of the skull in my sleep. My parents don't know that because... let's say there is a reason why I stay out of home for the majority of the day.

Are we again going to go over this? I am sick and tired of your fucking indiscipline. How I wish you could be more like Aditya... Mama's voice rung in my ears which made me close my eyes and take a shuddering breath.

Now is not the time to think about how awful you are. I repeated it in my head like a mantra, making it a point to message my brother and rant about the newest development.

Despite our parents trying to pit me against bhaiya, we were thick as thieves. We always had each other's backs and we're there to cheer each other up. Whenever our parents would scream at any of us, we would wait until they fell asleep to do something to lift the other person up. Midnight feasts, movie binge or just cuddling and imagining a future where we were away from them... That always managed to cheer me up and I knew bhaiya enjoyed it too.

I don't think we fought that much either because we were pretty close in age, with only three and a half years difference. We are pretty like-minded and scientifically inclined only he was interested in computer engineering while I was fascinated by the engineering of the human body.

It sucked that he is in IIT, Delhi while I'm so far away. We still manage to video call irrespective of the time zones but it is not the same as having the comfort of your older brother.

"I think I will take this." I handed her a battered copy of Gray's anatomy.

Tina just gave a knowing smile and I checked out. I headed to the nearby Fleming Beach Park, which is one of the most popular beaches in Maui. It was a five-minute walk from the library and the majority of the school population used to come here to hang out in the evenings.

Not that I was paying any attention to my oblivious classmates.

I headed to Kimo's Beach Shack and the owner gave me a gentle smile.

"What will it be, ku'uipo? The usual?" They asked as they wiped their hand on the dishtowel.

"'Ae." I smiled at them and they started making my favourite drink- Strawberry milkshake.

Precariously balancing my bag, the drink in one hand and my wrist-thick library book under the armpit of my other hand, I headed to the quieter side of the beach, away from the raucous.

I settle down under the shade of the palm trees and lean back against the rocks, taking in the view around me. I could see people from my school roaming around in their swimming suits either playing volleyball or surfing. As I sipped my milkshake (looking like an absolute loner, must I add) my eyes drifted to their happy faces as the joked around, laughing and having fun with their friends.

The two concepts that are so unfamiliar to me.

When I was back in India, I had a good group of friends who I would hang out with and play basketball with. It was good but shifting to a new place can strain those relationships. I do follow them on social media but seeing them enjoying and doing the things which we used to do together, it causes my heart to ache.

And I never really tried making friends here in Maui because a) The people here didn't consider me as one of them and b) My parents kept on saying it is temporary so there was no point focusing on that. Beta padhai par dhyaan do, dost aate jaate hai. My dad told me the one night I decided to express my excessive loneliness.

Thanks papa, real helpful. I shook my head, sipping my drink as I carefully opened my library book.

"You look sad." A childish voice spoke up breaking me out from my melancholy. I looked up and saw a four-year-old girl, her doe-like eyes staring down at me. She was wearing a pink summer dress and a cute bow hairband, taming her light brown hair.

"Huh?"

"You look sad... and lonely."

"I am okay, keiki... Don't worry."

The kid's eyebrows furrowed with confusion. "How did you know my name?"

My eyes widened. In the two years in Hawaii, I had learnt a little bit of Hawaiian and spoke in bits and pieces. And I'm pretty sure keiki meant 'child' in Hawaiian so you could imagine the shock I felt when her name was the literal translation of child.

Who the fuck names their child... child?

"A lucky guess. It is nice to meet you Keiki." She moved her hand forward and Keiki's hand clutched my big hand with her small ones shaking it. Her hand was as big as my palm.

"What's your name?" Keikie asked as she sat down next to me.

"I'm Aisha. And, what are you doing here all alone?"

"I came with my elder brother but he and his friends were playing and he forgot his promise to build a sandcastle with me. So I just went walking." She huffed and crossed her short arms across her chest.

"Well, your brother would be worried about you, won't he?" I asked as her eyes scan the crowd, looking for a guy who remotely looks like my little companion.

"Well, I think that's a go-good puni-shi-ment for him." She struggled with the big word.

Aisha chuckled and soon Keiki's giggles joined hers.

"You remind me of the times when I used to bother my elder brother like that. He would get so mad."

"Where is he now?" She asked as her hands fisted the sand, her eyes moving to look at the brunette.

"Well, he is in university, in a completely different country."

"Do you miss him?"

"A lot." I sighed. Her puppy eyes met mine and she reached to hold my elbow. I smiled down at her, appreciating the gesture. She opened her mouth to ask me more questions when we heard a commotion.

"KEIKI!! There you are!" A shout wafted towards us, interrupting Keiki. I saw a tall guy jogging towards us and when my eyes landed on him, I immediately recognized him.

Bryce Lahela. The golden boy of my school, with girls and guys falling for him, left, right, centre. And right now, he was approaching me completely shirtless, his abs glistening in the evening sun. He had a Polynesian tattoo wrapping around his left bicep and ending a little below his collarbone which had me feeling... uh thirsty?

Cool, cool, cool, just act like yourself.

Yeah as if that's helped you deal with your awkwardness. Her conscience snarked at her.

“Shut up.” I muttered to myself. But, I wasn’t subtle enough and Bryce turned towards me, a weird look in his eyes.

Off to a great start, Aisha. Keep up the good work. I mentally groaned as I went back to reading my library book. 

"Thank god Keiki you are okay... I was so worried." He kneeled and hugged her, immediately forgetting my weird mumblings. I could feel the body heat emanating from him and suddenly, the anatomy of the kidney seemed more interesting than the hot guy beside me.

"Its okay Bryce. I was talking to my new friend." Keiki squeaked as she pulled away from the hug, two sets of hazel eyes staring at me now.

My eyes widened and I subconsciously reached to push my glasses up my nose, feeling the back of my neck heating up.

"Well, thank you so much." His voice reverberated and I swear I felt as if I would combust at the spot.

I looked up and shot a tiny smile. "No worries. Keiki here makes a nice study buddy."

I internally smacked my head. Study buddy? Really? Who uses that term now?

"Of course. Daddy says that I'm a beauty with brains." She said with a smug smile.

"Well, that's the one thing that I agree with dad," Bryce said as he settled down on her other side. The one feet distance enabled my mind to resume working.

I smiled down at Keiki and I found that Bryce was looking at me intently.

O... okay?

"Wait... You go to my school right? Lahainaluna High School?"

I nodded my head. I was about to introduce myself when his eyebrows furrowed in concentration.

He was snapping his fingers when his face lightened up with recognition. "You are Aisha, right? The newbie who joined us last year I was in your chemistry class last year."

The drink almost fell from my hand and I had to clutch it tighter to prevent myself from making a bigger mess. Clearing my throat I smiled nervously. "Yeah, that's me. You are Bryce, right? You are on the basketball team, right?"

"You know me?" He asked, shocked and I could hardly stop myself from rolling my eyes.

"Duh?! You are Mr. Popular with really good looks and either people love you or hate you." I rambled off.

A small smile played on his lips. "And which category would you belong too? The love or hate category?"

I gave a shy smile. "Let's just say I'm on neutral grounds. Give me a good reason why I should like you."

"Because of my dashing looks? My tattoo?" He stretched his hands wide, gesturing towards himself. His hair caught the evening light, making it look like a halo. His hazel eyes had flecks of gold which threatened to drown me but before I could get lost in his sheer beauty, I shook my head to snap out of the daze of his presence and gave a mocking sigh.

"Aaaannnndd, he is just like other dumb jocks who is overly obsessed with his looks. Why are they all the same?"

Keiki put her hand sympathetically on my lap. "Don't worry Ash. I don't like Bryce when he talks about his looks either."

Bryce gasped. "Keiki you are breaking my heart."

"Good."

He reached for her and started tickling her which made her squeal with laughter. I had to get up so that the sand doesn't get on me, laughing at the sight. "Brryyccee!! Stopp!!"

"Not until you tell me I'm the best brother in the world."

Gasping for breath with tears in her eyes, Keiki breathed out in defeat. "Okay, okay. You are the best... brother in... the world."

Bryce pulled back a grin playing on his lips.

"Good."

My phone rang and I saw Mama's name flash on the screen which made me sigh.

"Your mom?" Bryce asked.

"Yep. should reach home before she turns into momzilla." We chuckled as I put my book into my bag.

"Bye Keiki, it was nice talking to you."

"Bye Ash. I like you. Can we make sandcastles next time?" I laughed and nodded, "Sure sweetie."

"Where is my goodbye?" Bryce pouted.

I rolled her eyes. "Bye Bryce. See you around."

And with that, I turned on her heel, and walked home, feeling much better.

PRESENT

Aisha felt like banging her head against the wall of the hospital out of utter embarrassment. In the span of 7 hours, she had pissed off her superior, met her ex from ten years ago, got stuck with a partner who hardly did anything and now managed to embarrass herself yet again in front of her role model.

Rookie... Are you hiding from me? The way Dr. Ramsey had an eyebrow raised, as if to question why she was hiding behind another intern and the appalled expression as she stumbled over her words were forever imprinted in her mind.

Not my brightest moment. Aisha recollected as she sighed at the way she stuttered and finally came up with an excuse.

I'm doing charts. She mocked herself as she shook her head. There was a table right next to me!! I could have come up with anything but that weak ass excuse.

And she had always dreamed that if she were to meet Bryce in real life, she would definitely insult the fuck out of him and then for the finishing stroke, she would probably punch him in his handsome face or kick him in the crown jewels.

But sadly, you seldom get the things you wish for.

I don't have time for this - Main kya gadhi hoon. She mentally groaned as she tried to shut off the part of her brain which was so hell-bent on making her feel humiliated.

She entered Annie's room to find her curled up in her bed, playing idly with her phone. She perked up a little when she saw Aisha, forcing a smile on her face.

"Oh. Hi, Dr. Khurrana."

"I just came by to see how you're feeling Annie."

Annie shrugged. "The same. The nurse came by and gave me some medication a little while ago.."

Opening Annie's chart she checked. "Yeah, antibiotics. It's too soon to see any improvement yet, but hopefully, we'll see some results soon."

Aisha was about to turn on her heel and leave when she heard Annie's small voice. "hey, could you stay awhile? It's... kinda lonely, being here all on my own."

Aisha gave an empathetic smile and reached to sit down on the chair near her bed. "Of course I can."

"Thank you once again doc."

"No, thank you. I haven't been off my feet since I got out of bed this morning. So Annie," Aisha leaned forward, "what are you studying?"

Annie blinked as if she was confused by the question. She took a couple of heavy breaths before attempting to answer.

"My master's is in... English... but my... my..." She swayed, her voice woozy as she tried to finish her sentence.

Aisha was on alert. "Annie, are you feeling okay?" She asked as she felt her pulse which was dropping before Annie passed out.

The heart rate monitor sounded a long, flat tone as her heart stopped.

"OH MY GOD!! Code blue, I need some help here!!" Aisha shouted, pressing the button near her bed.

"C'mon Annie stay with me." As Aisha stood on the nearby stool, performing CPR as she waited for the code team to arrive.

"Aisha?!" Jackie's shocked voice made her lookup.

"Jackie, where is the code team?"

"Room 502 called a code blue just before you. Just keep up with CPR. They'll get to you when they can!"

Aisha's eyes flashed. "That could be too late!! Help me, Jackie we are losing her fast."

"What were her symptoms?" Jackie asked as she snapped on the latex gloves and moved towards the bed.

"Symptoms were headache and nausea. Started during her vacation to Indonesia. Aurora and I did a blood workup and gave her cefpodoxime." Aisha opened the gown and Jackie's eyes narrowed in on the rash rapidly spreading on the side of the body.

"She is breaking in hives. She is in anaphylactic shock!"

"Now that I think about it, it may be because of her allergy to the antibiotics I gave... I had fucking asked her, dammit." Guilt made her chest heavy.

Jackie's face turned into a scowl as she wheeled the defibrillator cart closer. "It doesn't matter whose fault it is. This girl needs you now! We have to get her heart started ourselves."

Aisha nodded as she opened Annie's gown, baring her chest. She took a steadying breath. You have done this numerous times in AIIMS, you can do this.

Taking the paddles, she placed one paddle on the right side, beneath her collarbone and the other paddle on the left side, just beneath her armpit.

A small impressive smile made its way on Jackie's lips. "Good, now set the charge."

"Charging to 300 volts... Clear!"

Annie's body spasmed as the paddles discharged. Keeping them aside, Aisha resumed her compressions on Annie's chest.

C'mon Annie... You can do this... Come back to me. Aisha prayed.

The monitor beeped twice before Annie's heartbeat returned, accelerated but constant.

She let out a sigh of breath as she bent over the bed. Jackie clapped her back. "You are soooo lucky."

"Shut up. Now just give her an epinephrine injection and intubate while I maintain compression."

Jackie nodded her head and Aisha shot a grateful smile as she continued her compressions, her hands aching.

"What the hell is going on in here, Rookie?"

Yikes. Aisha winced at the tone and looked up to find Dr. Ramsey glaring from the doorway.

Time to own up, buddy. She sighed and spoke up. "Dr. Ramsey, she was allergic to the antibiotics I prescribed.

She couldn't gauge his reaction from so far away. "Well... at least you are taking responsibility. Sometimes patients don't know about their own allergies. That's why you always have to be cautious."

Jackie injected the epinephrine pen into Annie's tight. Still unconscious, Annie took a shuddering gasp of air.

"And now we intubate."

"Excellent work, Doctor...?"

A self-satisfied smile made its way on Jackie's face. "Varma."

"You were assigned to this case?"

"No, I was passing and I hear Dr. Khurrana calling a code blue."

A smile made its way on his face which shocked Aisha. This man voluntarily uses his facial muscles to smile? I wouldn't have known. "The patient's very lucky you were here. I'm not confident Dr. Khurrana could have handled this alone."

Now, wait a damn minute... Aisha clenched her jaw. This wasn't her first time she was getting insulted and yeah it was called for but it didn't help her feel any better either.

Jackie bit her lip and glanced at Aisha, which Aisha pointedly ignored. Watch her jump at the opportunity in 3...2...1

"Thank you. Just doing my job, Dr. Ramsey."

There it is.

Gulping down her annoyance, Aisha spoke up. "Dr. Varma really bailed me out." Aisha turned towards Jackie and nodded stiffly. "Thank you, Dr. Varma."

Jackie tried to read her, guilt swimming in her eyes.

She should be guilty, she took the credit of the save when I was the one calling the shots.

"...Anytime."

Fuck you. She narrowed her eyes slightly which made Jackie wince.

Luckily, Dr. Ramsey gave Jackie an out. "Dr. Varma, you should return to your patients."

A relieved smile made its way on her face. "Yes, Doctor." Throwing a backward glance towards Aisha, she walked out.

Dr. Ramsey swivelled towards Aisha, his face drawn tight with annoyance. "And you... you need to have a long hard think about whether or not you're ready to be here. It doesn't matter that it's your first day, or that you're still learning. Whether this girl lives or dies is on you. Is that clear?"

"Crystal, Dr. Ramsey."

"You still have no idea what's wrong with her, and your first attempt nearly killed her. This is the real world. No room for mista--"

"Hi, Dr. Ramsey? Sorry to interrupt." A short Asian intern interrupted him and Aisha let out a small sigh of relief.

This guy would give my parents a run for their money. Why do I meet assholes everywhere I go?

"For the love of God, what now?"

"One of the nurses told me... that one of the other interns told them... that one of the doctors said..."

Dr. Ramsey certainly didn't enjoy beating around the bush. With a biting voice, sharp enough to make both Aisha and the intern to flinch, he commanded. "Skip to the point."

"Dr. Toussaint needs to see you urgently." She rushed.

Dr. Ramsey pinched the bridge of his nose, muttered something about 'interns' under his breath.

Straightening his coat, who gave pointedly glanced at Aisha. "Remember what I said, Rookie. Next time I see you, you'd better have solved the case." He turned on his feet and stormed out making the petite intern jump.  

Aisha stepped out into the hall with the intern, leaned against the wall and let out a sigh.

"Thank god for Dr. Toussaint. I swear if he wouldn't have called, Dr. Ramsey would have burst a vein or something."

The intern leaned against the wall adjacent to Aisha. "Yeah... Too bad he doesn't actually need to see Dr. Ramsey."

Aisha's eyes widened and she turned to stare at the other intern. "Huh?"

"I made it up! I could hear Ramsey chewing you out halfway down the hall, I figured you might need a save."

Oh my god, that is the sweetest thing anyone has done for me.

Aisha smiled brightly. "Thank you so much. I really appreciate it. But you could get in serious trouble if he realizes it."

She shrugged with a cheeky grin. "If. Besides, I'm tougher than I look. I'm Sienna by the way. Or Dr. Trinh. Whichever floats your boat."

"I'm Aisha Khurrana. Thanks again." Aisha's pager beeped and she looked down and sighed. "As fun as our little adventure was, I need to get back to work. Nice talking to you Sienna and once again, thanks for the save."

"Bye, hope you solve the case. Also, wait! I heard all the doctors hang out at this bar called Donahue's. I think, just down the street. Apparently, it's like the place to go and decompress after a long shift. Wanna come?"

"Sure!! If only I survive my first shift."

Sienna gave a brilliant smile. "Assuming you live through the next few hours, I'll meet you in the atrium after we clock out."

And Aisha got back to work, tending to her other patients but Annie's unconscious face kept on flashing behind her eyelids and Ramsey's words echoed in her head, like a broken tape recorder.

You need to have a long hard think about whether or not you're ready to be here.

She took a shuddering breath, doubt slipping into her mind, making her question everything she did. Every patient she treated and every prescription she signed.

Am I really cut out for this?

She tried to stop the rising anxiety but it still continued to swell in her like a balloon. Her throat began to dry up and it felt as if the weight on her chest didn't allow her to breathe.

Oh god, it's happening.

Feeling like she was on the verge of a breakdown, she ducked into a dark supply closet so nobody could see her while she tried to pull herself together.

It's okay. You worked your way through med school to get here. You are worthy. She chanted, taking in gulps of air.

It had hardly been a minute when the door suddenly opened and she heard footsteps.

Aisha internally groaned in annoyance. "Get in or get out. Just quit holding the door." She turned around and saw Bryce.

Oh fuck.

He nervously cleared his throat and walked towards her, maintaining his distance. "I feel like I'm interrupting something. Are... are you okay?"

Thanks to the dark, he couldn't see her tear rimmed eyes. Sighing loudly she untied her hair and ran her fingers through it, something she often did when she felt like her life was on the verge of falling apart.

"Nothing. I'm just looking for something." She tried to speak in a sharp tone but it just sounded like her voice was cracking.

She knew that Bryce had definitely heard how close she was to crying. Concern laced his voice. "Hey, I know when we met I was nothing but a dumb, self-obsessed jock but it's different now. I... I know you are not okay. Want to talk about it? Or vent?"

Goddamit Bryce. "Fine! I almost killed my first patient and I fucking swear to god I saw my career flash before my eyes. But it was lowkey my fault. I should have checked for allergies. But I tried fixing my error by calling the shots and Jackie helped me. BUT that's not it! Instead of being a humble person, Jackie swoops in and takes the credit of my save and Dr. Ramsey just goes on congratulating her as if she won some fucking AMA Award-"

"Aisha, breathe."

Taking a lungful of air she continued. "- And don't even get me started on Dr. Ethan Freaking Ramsey. Duniya main maine itna bada gaandu kabhi dekha nahi hai maine. What a dick!! He should get fucking laid to work off all his anger issues-"

Bryce snorted but didn't dare to interrupt Aisha. From the short time they dated, he knew better than to interrupt her mid-rant, it only managed to instigate her.

Another deep breathe. "- Boy does he manage to make me doubt myself in every step of the way like am I worthy of being here? I mean, I threw my heart and soul into med school because I wanted to be the best doctor out there but dammit I don't think I am ready."

When he made sure she wasn't going to launch into a new roast session, he spoke up. "Wow. You managed so many years of med school, but eight hours into the shift and you're surrendering? Didn't take you for a quitter."

Excuse me? Aisha's eyes narrowed.

"You don't know me anymore Bryce. The Aisha you dated is long gone and dead." She said in a low voice.

He shrugged. "True, but I know that you still have the fire in you to do what you love the most. C'mon, you have dealt with worse but yet you are here, standing tall. This is just temporary. I know you can pick yourself back up and break down all the obstacles in front of you."

She looked up at Bryce, only able to see the faint outline of his body. He still was the same- tall, well built and with really good hair. "No offence but... you used to be the guy who would wet himself during chemistry practicals, what happened to make you so...?" She gestured her hand at him, accidentally hitting his hand.

He hesitated. "As you said, things changed and you don't know me anymore Aisha."

"Fair enough."

The lack of space and the awkward silence just fueled the tension between them. She could feel his converse bumping into her shoes and the heated gaze on her face.

There used to be a time when Aisha and Bryce would talk for hours on end and they never ran out of topics to talk about. Be it something as lame as which is the superior flavour of ice cream or as deep as life after death.

Look at us now... Aisha thought to herself, gulping.

Her hair fell on her face as she averted her eyes, unable to come up with something to talk about. Bryce's hand involuntary reached to push back the rebel strands behind her ear, his hands caressing her cheek in the process. It felt as if electric sparks shot up her cheeks, making her blush.

Bryce opened his mouth. "Aisha-"

The door opened and she heard a feminine voice. "Bryce I saw you giving me the look so I decided to join you-"

A woman walked around the corner of the help and Aisha's jaw dropped. It was not because she was shocked that he was dating, he could screw the entire hospital for all she cared but, no... she was topless.

"Oh." The unknown woman placed her hands beside her.

"Sam-" Bryce began and Aisha spoke up at the same time. "I was just-"

The confusion was interrupted again when the closet door opened again and a senior resident stood before them, aghast. "What is going on over here?"

"Oh fuck." The expletive spilt from Aisha's lips.

The topless woman, whose name apparently was Sam, quipped in. "Yeah what she said."

Well, this is totally not awkward.

AUTHOR”S NOTE #2:

Number one, yeah I dragged PB a bit in regards to Keiki’s name.. PB do your research challenge 🙄

Number two, okay so about the tattoo part, me and @bratzlahela​ were just talking about Bryce having Polynesian tattoos based on this post and I had to integrate it in my series lol

This is something I imagined 🤭

Number 3, Also I tried to change up the scene a bit with Jackie because tbh, Aisha is pretty fucking smart and she won’t be like “Boo-hoo. I don’t know anything” And about the part where she spoke about using the defibrillator numerous times in AIIMS, In India the medical education is a little more hands-on and focuses more on clinical practice rather than theory. Medical students from first year start doing ward duty and help around in the hospitals taking patient history, etc. Also, they have a mandatory year of internship without which you don’t get your license.  

Number 4, So about that supply closet scene, how many of y’all thought would you get a make out sesh?

If yes, here is your clown wig 🤡

Number 5, AND CAN WE TALK ABOUT TODDLER KEIKI I SWEAR I WAS JUST GUSHING THE ENTIRE TIME 🥺

Lastly, IT PHYSICALLY HURT ME TO ROAST ETHAN LIKE IM SO SORRY SWEETIE 😭🥺🤧

This was a pretty long author’s note heheheh

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[lollybliz]

bout to make a Monster of a fic rec post here we go

heyo @jinx108! We’ll start with the complete ones because sometimes you’re just not in the mood to wait for the last chapter, you know? I don't remember details of all of these so i’m just going to copy the author’s summary rather than write my own. I am literally just going through my bookmarks, I got 400 of these to sort through. if ive talked to or am familiar with the author im gonna mention them, but if I mention you and you don't want me to have Please tell me and i’ll remove it.

If you’re not into spoilers Please Tread Carefully, I don't watch out for that stuff so I wont know to label it

1>Crushing Truth by Bunzuku: Tododeku. “Romance is hard enough for a teenager to understand when they have a good relationship role model. For Shoto, it takes two excited meddlers for him to even realize what his feelings really are.“

2>Disowned by b00mgh: tododeku + others. Unrated, some traumatic elements. “Shouto freaks out under a bridge and I use the word "grass" a lot more than I really should. Izuku does his stupid martyr thing and everyone makes continuous references to his propensity to break his bones. Aizawa goes "oh FUCK my kids are dying again" and his students use him as emotional (and physical) support. A friend requests angst, I say what kind, she say idk make someone get disowned and i say oh this I can absolutely provide my good buddy.”

3>cotton candy hands by @chonideno: Kiribaku. I will take Any excuse to rec this fic, its the most fluffy pile of feels Good Lord. also the first fic I ever bound into a physical book. “Studying to become a hero requires knowing how to take care of yourself. Sometimes you might need help on the way so if your crush offers to do your hair for you or to give you a well-deserved back rub, it'd be stupid to say no. A series of soft vignettes in which a love-struck Kirishima and a touch-starved Bakugou care for each other and it's definitely not making their hearts jump through hoops, they’re never this close to kissing, no, they're totally best friends bro“

4>Catching Sight of the Storm by neo7v: Kiribaku, tododeku. A considerable amount of Whump and related angst, and kinda sad tbh. “Blind. Quirkless. Useless.The first two things were stated clearly by the doctor that sat about five feet in front of Izuku. The third was a word that Kacchan called him everytime he failed to make the jump on whatever forest excursion they were on or when he ran into a tree because he hadn’t seen it. “I’m so, so sorry, Izuku.” Was his mom giving up on him already? But he could still be a hero if he tried hard enough, right? Quirkless or not. Blind or not. Just because Izuku was useless now didn’t mean he would stay that way forever, right? *** A Blind!Izuku AU”

5>Yell Heah by fakecharliebrown: Chatfic. M a n y pairings. technically complete, but part of an ongoing series. “Iida creates a group-chat for Class 1-A. It doesn't go as planned.“

6>Sunshine by Rosey_Note: BIG SAD. tw- failed suicide attempt. KiriKamiBaku. “They didn't deserve to put up with his crappy mood. Because Denki Kaminari did not feel like Sunshine right now. And they deserved sunshine. In fact, Denki didn't feel much of anything right now.“

7>Electric Connection by  Onlymostydead: ShinKami. “Kaminari's quirk has always had... Weird side affects. Like his ADHD. And his constant energy. And his insomnia, which wouldn't leave him be right now, when he really needed to just get some sleep. But, thankfully, he has good friends.“

8>The Best (The Worst) by Onlymostydead: no romantic pairing. tw- rampant transphobia, both outside and internalized. “Bakugou Katsuki has known who he was since he was four years old. He was a boy, it was as simple as that. Around his friends, at school... But things couldn't just be that simple, could they?“

9>Lichtenberg Figures by Q_loves_you: no definite romantic pairing. “Kaminari Denki has a very powerful force of nature running through his body. Kaminari Denki doesn't want to hurt anybody. He doesn't always get what he wants, and "anybody" does generally include himself.“

10>Eventuality by KikaTouka: ill be honest I don't remember this one at all, I maaaay not have read it yet :/. anyway. ShinKami. “Shinsou learns more than just hero lessons after being transferred to 1-A.“

11>Pickup Lines for the Soul by MustardSoup: ShinKami. “Denki is twelve when he is flicking through the TV channels and lands on an old RomCom movie about soulmate marks – specifically the same type that he has. “I can’t believe I’ve had to walk around with a cheap pickup line written on my ankle my entire life because of you!” The leading lady yells at the leading man as he stares at her in awe. Denki laughs. “Oh no.” His mother says, watching him. “Oh no, indeed.” His sister repeats quietly.“

12>caught in my own web by @anxioussailorsoldier: ShinKami. “Shinsou needs some help after getting caught up in his capture weapon. Kaminari enters from stage left.“

13>not so summer love by nataliya: ShinKami. “Class 2-B’s common room, although typically quiet, was currently filled with five students—three slowly giving up on homework, one bitching about noise and another that rushes through the front door. “We’ve been waiting for you—” Mina starts, but Kaminari’s vaulting over the back of the couch, eyes wide as he practically buzzes out of his skin, emitting light like crazy as currents dazzle across strands of hair. “I have a big ugly crush,” He steps off the couch and onto the coffee table, much to Bakugou’s chagrin, “On big ugly Shinsou.””

14>Blamed by coldandhotsoba: ShinKami. Tw- they fuckin kill a guy and its a lil nasty. “This was not how the day was supposed to end. They were supposed to end the day like they do most nights.  Kaminari clutching onto him like a koala as he slept, wrapped in the millions of tacky blankets Kaminari had bought. Warm and safe in their bed. It was not supposed to end with both of them tied up in some cold metal room.“

15>Lightning Scars by Present-Mics-Scream (write_your_way_out): Shinkami. “It's hard to be confident in your abilities when you're surrounded by people with incredible quirks. Shinsou Hitoshi would know better than anyone. Sure, he was admitted to the hero course in his second year, but being admitted to the hero course, and keeping up with the rest of the class are two different things. Lucky for him, Kaminari is there to prove that the flashiest quirks come with the largest drawbacks.“

16>See No Evil, Hear No Evil by randomfan188: no romantic pairing. “Kaminari Denki is legally blind. When he forgets to wear his contacts and breaks down during math class, comfort appears in the strangest of ways.“

17>how not to enjoy the weather, an article by kaminari denki by dreamtowns: no defined romantic pairing. “If there was one thing Kaminari hated the most in a world wth villains, it would have to be thunderstorms.“

18>”Studying” by emmyrox22: ShinKami, EraserMic. “Shinsou and Kaminari have been “studying” together for a while (but not for school). Shinsou gets stopped by his dads on the way to another “study” session and mistakes are made“

19>Weaknesses by sunflowerstorm: ShinKami. “Kaminari's quirk and storms compliment each other in the worst way, but he's convinced he can deal with it on his own... until he really can't any longer. When Shinsou accidentally overhears Aizawa confronting Kaminari about recent changes in behaviour and hears about the hell his quirks been putting him through, he can't just pretend he never heard. He wants to help.“

20>it’s hurt denki hours by memeingfultrash: ShinKami + others. ““Certain members of our class are...under the impression that...you’re the traitor.” Denki’s body went cold and felt like he was going to short circuit. ~some of class 1a believes that denki is the traitor and avoid him”

21>Petition to replace Mineta with Shinsou- (signed by Kaminari Denki) by CharaTheQuartz: ShinKami + others. This is one of my favorites, I go back to reread it from time to time. It SAYS 41/42, but that's just a glitch cus chapter 36 doesn't exist for some reason, I talked to the author about it and its fine. “Mineta brings shame to the color purple. You know who does not bring shame to the rich color, but pride and sexual tension to one infatuated Kaminari Denki instead? Shinsou Hitoshi, aka sexy zombie man, aka the most perfect hunk of a man to walk planet earth, aka future husband. Shinsou has finally gotten his chance to prove himself to the hero course, and he did more than prove himself. The only question left unanswered is whether he will start in A or B, and how Kaminari can manipulate the end result.“

22>How to Get a Boyfriend (in Four Easy Steps!) by e1ana: ShinKami, EraserMic, + others. “Step 1: Get kicked out of the house by your homophobic parents. Step 2: Run headfirst into your brooding, mysterious crush. Step 3: Sleep in his dad’s (see: your homeroom teacher) house Step 4: Watch everything you thought you knew go to shit. This isn’t exactly the sweet, romantic plan that Kaminari Denki longed for. Will everything be ok, or will step 5 be to crash and burn?“

23>Bakugou and Todoroki’s Foolproof 5-Step Plan to Fuck with Mineta Minoru by Anubis_2701: Kiribaku, TodoDeku, + others. This is another one of my favorites, and the one I am currently folding and sewing into a physical book. you learn how to do funny things when bored and quarantined ig. “It was a simple enough idea; screw around with the resident bastard of Class 1-A to let him know that his medieval ways and perverted behaviour weren't going to be tolerated by even the most career-focused of UA's students. To say that things had snowballed was an understatement. Todoroki had no idea how he had ended up sitting on Bakugou's floor at 1 am, holding a dossier of incriminating material that would make the FBI slobber, but he wasn't sure he wanted to know. The long and short of it was, fuck Mineta.”

24>Colour Theory by chancellorxofxtrash: TodoBakuDeku. this one’s a series. “Midoriya/Bakugo/Todoroki slow burn soulmate AU. All three of them are nerds with their own emotional issues, trying to navigate their way through becoming heroes, and their own relationship with each other.“

25>Summer Sunshine by Mara97: TodoDeku. Ever want a Barbie in a mermaid tale/Bnha crossover? No? well here you go anyway! “Instead of worrying about college, Izuku spends his summer vacation finding out his father is, supposedly, a dead merman king and going on a quest to dethrone the current king, Endeavor. Along the way, Izuku becomes close to the three journeying with him, makes friends with strangers, starts crushing on an unattainable prince, and, in the end, learns to love himself. Oh, and he saves a kingdom, too.“

26>The snowflakes on our skin and the flames in our soul are one (and the same), my love by missunderstuffyou: TodoDeku, Kiribaku. this is one of the ones I keep a running reread comment going on. its at,,, 6, atm.  “Before your quirk begins to present itself, the soulmate link comes through, and suddenly whatever you write upon your own skin appears on the body of your soulmate. As your soulmate writes to you, the emotions they feel follow through the ink.Izuku Midoriya is four years and a few months old when he first feels the slight ebbing in his arms. It doesn’t hurt… he can just feel something, and it’s enough to make him sprint into his mother’s arms screaming that his quirk is coming. She had been washing in the kitchen, and the sudden screech as her son rockets into her side is enough to make her jump with panic, immediately grabbing at him and looking for cuts and bumps before she understands his words and the stupidly bright, alight smile on his face with large, watery, hopeful eyes. Shoto Todoroki doesn’t feel his soulmate connection open up. It is drowned in the aches of a small body worked far too hard.“

27>It was dark inside the closet by Chad_Champion69420: Pre-ShinDeku? maybe? its tagged shindeku but like. it’ll make sense if you read it. “Midoriya is invited to a party. He and Shinsou decide to play a little trick on the rest of the party during Seven Minutes in Heaven.”

28>how to woo your local trash gremlin: a comprehensive guide by Todoroki shouto by wonhaebunny: TodoBaku. this is the fic that dragged me into todobaku, fun fact. “five times shouto tries to confess to bakugou, and one time he doesn't bother tryingaka: wikihow is a scam and bakugou is a terrible, terrible boy“

29>top ten photos taken right before disaster by Shookspeare: ShinDeku. “Izuku participates in a harmless prank, only to end up ruining it and running for dear life.“

30>Secrets to Share by pechebaie: no definite romantic pairing. “Kirishima comes out first, and nothing changes. Kirishima and Kaminari still hang out to complain about class and talk about boys - and sometimes girls, too, in Kaminari’s case; he still plans stupid pranks with Sero that get them sent to the principal’s or nurse’s office every time; Ashido still kicks his ass at Mario Kart without hesitation; and Bakugou doesn’t get angry at him any more than he usually does.“

31>What One Hides by Pinalinet: TodoDeku. “All Might gives class 1-A an unusual assignment that results in Midoriya Izuku and Todoroki Shouto attending a weekly acting class. But with a mysterious villain targeting individuals without Quirks, and a developing issue of Todoroki's own, an after-school assignment is the least of their worries.“

32>whether or not we’re fated, we’re meant to be by juurensha: KINDA SPOILERY. TodoDeku + others. “Todoroki didn’t have a soulmark for most of his life.His siblings all did, but up until the day of the U.A. entrance exam, he had shoved the idea aside. It’s not like they could help him anyway. And then a 9 appears on his chest, and a green-haired boy barrels into his life with a fire and ice soulmark on his arms, and suddenly Todoroki cares very much about all this could mean.”

33>The Midnight Shift by meiishu @meiishu @totallytodoroki (idk which you’d rather I attach so I went with both): ShinKami. ““Hey Toshi,” Denki says, and he laughs, clearly embarrassed. He’s got on a jean jacket that did him absolutely no help and a white tee shirt that is currently stuck to his torso. It’s got a pikachu design in the center. “By any chance, do you sell umbrellas?” “You really went out in this weather.” Hitoshi deadpans, instead of dignifying that with an answer. or hitoshi works the midnight shift at the gas station, which also doubles as a pokestop for pokemon go. of course, denki is a regular.”

34>Rock the House by AkabaneKayo: ShinKami. “It wasn’t just his bed. It was his entire fucking room shaking. Only one thought crossed his mind at that moment: “Holy shit. My room is haunted.”“

35>Technically, they’re morning kisses by CharaTheQuartz: ShinKami. “Most nights, Shinsou cannot fall sleep. Neither can Kaminari. It seems counterproductive to have a sleepover then, but they try to make it work. And they fail, but that is okay.“

36>someone to call mine by nearly_theyre: ShinKami, EraserMic “From: Me wish you were here, denks From: kitten 💛💘💛 what if i was tho? OR Four times Denki snuck into Hitoshi's room and one time he walked through the front door.“

37>Pretty by Onlymostydead (noticing some repeat authors? me too): no definite romantic pairing. “(Or, Kaminari still can't figure out bra clasps.) Kaminari has never really felt good about himself. Herself? Whichever way, not knowing doesn't make anything easier. Especially when he (she?) and Mina have their bodies swapped during training, and everything seems too right.“

38>If I offer you my hand, will you take it? by bleukitsune: Kiribaku. SPOILERY. ““Why?” Kirishima leaned back on his hands, trying to create some space between them. Too close. The ash-blond looked really nervous, his usually arrogant and cunning demeanor gone. “What do you see when you look at me? Kirishima is worried. Bakugou is hurting. After his confrontation with Midoriya, he finally reaches out to him. “

Theres way more but I haven't tagged them properly yet so that m a y come later if I can ever finish going through and adding my sorting tags.

and then a last few that Are Not Complete but im really very fond of them. not as many as id like to add, but my hands are getting tired tbh.

39>State of Mind by GuardianOfTheLoaf: no relationship YET but its looking like it’ll be either tododeku or shindeku, probably the former. EraserMic. tw- childhood neglect and severe depression. Izuku’s not a happy kid. “Izuku was a late bloomer, his quirk lying dormant until his tenth birthday when in a fit of emotion he grabs his mother and she disappears. With All Might slowly restoring his confidence Izuku begins the difficult journey into becoming a hero.“ 18/? chapters.

40>Izuku Eats His Problems by CosmicAce: ShinDeku. Izuku’s a flerkin, what more could you want? “His whole life, Izuku Midoriya was taught to keep his powers, his Quirk, hidden from the world. His kind were feared, hunted to near extinction because of it. He just wants to show people he’s different. That he can be a HERO. And nothing is going to stop him. Even if his Quirk IS like an eldritch abomination.“ 43/? chapters

and then probably my current favorite bnha fic- although it fights with Apertum Mortem for that spot but that ones d a r k and not here-

41>family of the year by periiwren: EraserMic. “Hitoshi is done. Done with moving around every few months to a couple that will scrutinize him and eventually dump him right back where he started. Good thing he’s well past his strike limit now- at least he can stay in one place, be content to age out of the system and finish out his training with Aizawa. Maybe transfer into the hero course, maybe be a hero- but none of that was guaranteed. The only thing for sure was that he was going to stay in that center for the rest of his childhood. Or so he thought- because Aizawa Shouta and Yamada Hizashi have other plans.“ 24/? chapters. we’ve been informed that this one’s gonne be l o n g and im Very Grateful.

42>Here There Be Dragons by here_and_there: pre-ShinDeku. “Izuku looked at the small circle Aizawa had motioned to in front of them. "I won't fit," he whispered, thinking. He raised his hand, tentatively. Sighing, Aizawa grumbled, "What?" "I-I have a question. Actually, two." His teacher just stared at him, unimpressed. Izuku continued. "Can we activate our quirks before we step into the ring?" Aizawa looked up into the sky, muttering something Izuku didn't hear. "If you must." "O-Okay. Uh, second question. You said we have to stay inside the circle, right?" "Yes." The man looked disappointed, not only in Izuku but in himself for letting the kid speak. "Great. Uh... does that include tails?"“ 6/? chapters.

43>Another Option by sandersonsister: TodoBakuDeku, Touya/Hawks, Dabi/Hawks. Potentially Spoilery, depends on whether horikoshi has the guts to confirm Touya. this one is waiting around the corner with a baseball bat, its really cute, and then r e a l l y painful. it might be getting better though. maybe. it might be getting worse. “When Touya stops his mother from hurting Shouto, he decides enough is enough. He needs to get out of this house and he's taking his baby brother with him.“ 33/? chapters.

That's it i’m done for now, oof. maybe ill edit more onto this post later, maybe i’ll just make another one. hope some of these work!

[studyspiration-coffee]

how to study efficiently

don’t spend more time more time making your notes than actually revising them

note-taking itself honestly isn’t the best study method when used by itself; you’re overloading your brain with content and you can go on autopilot very quickly 

the key to note-taking being extremely useful for your studying is making testable notes. before uni I was into flashcards, but I was definitely guilty of making the mistake I first outlined; taking forever to actually flashcard everything and not using the flashcards enough times. the easiest way to get around this is making cornell notes, and I 100% recommend doing so digitally.

type your lecture/class notes like you would normally, and then in a separate document, create a table with two columns and make the column on the left side significantly narrower. copy the lecture notes you took and paste them into the larger column on the right. colour code these notes if you wish (I recommend it). I personally underline headings, use arrow subheadings, have yellow highlight for terms and bolded orange for any important information.

write the cue questions in the narrower column. 

this cuts down the time you take to actually organise/make your revision notes like no tomorrow, so when exams come around you can just say the cue question, recite the information verbally or write down your answer depending on what type of learner you are, and write down the information you missed on a blank sheet of paper.

rule of thumb: don’t handwrite EVERYTHING. it takes forever, and time is of the essence. type the things that will help you understand content, handwrite content that is super vital/you struggle with, which are definitely not mutually exclusive. think of typing as the bones and flesh, handwriting for the bones and any flesh that you keep forgetting about. weird analogy, let’s move on.

don’t listen to music when you study. or at least, try not to. this is crazy for me to say personally, because in high school I HAD to have music to be able to do any work. but first year has led to this bizarre shift of not listening to anything at all, and I recommend trying it out. if it’s still not working, I have a suggestion; listen to a genre of music that you NEVER or RARELY ever listen to in any other area of your life (preferably a genre with limited words). for me that was jazz. that way, you’ll only associate the playlist with studying. sometimes when I have zero motivation, I play my jazz playlist to get myself working, and then around 5 minutes in I have to pause the playlist to focus on my work. i never thought that would ever happen but here we are.

this one’s a little more ~controversial~ but don’t take super rigid and routinely breaks. say you have a system of studying for an hour and taking a ten minute break. a lot of the time, this will work and satisfy you. but sometimes, you’ll get to around the half an hour mark, and already feel tired/drained/antsy/not in the mood/done with the content already, you name it. it’s better to take a micro break then to re-energise so you can plough through that revision than wait for your scheduled break; you’ll probably spend the rest of the hour unfocused and impatient, and by the time you get to your break you'll probably end up taking a much longer one than you anticipated because you were tired long before. will you ever actually return to your work that day? hm.

so, allow flexibility for study and break times. 

examples of micro breaks; making a beverage, writing a quick journal entry, decluttering your desk (depending on how messy your desk is tbh, don’t worry, we’ve all been there), checking the news, staring at the wall for a bit (again, we’ve all been there), finding study quotes on google, looking at pictures of Elle Woods etc etc etc

if you’re in a time crunch and you can’t do as many timed essays as you need, please type up essay plans (I say type instead of handwrite because typing makes it 500 times easier to edit and add sections). low-key for certain subjects plans can be more helpful than writing full essays

past papers are your best friend, but only if you; mark them, write down why you got an answer wrong (usually best for calculations or mcq), edit your response with the marking criteria (usually best for short answers), rewrite the marking criteria word for word if your answer and the criteria answer are vastly different (i.e the energy of reading and comparing the two and wondering if the responses were for two completely different questions or alas even courses), redo the questions you get wrong (all of them pls). simply doing a past paper and adding some ticks and crosses here and there isn’t going to do anything, there’s no magic involved.

voice memos are also extremely helpful, especially if you’re an auditory learner. don’t drone out information for each topic word for word (the voice notes will be like three hours long, and if that isn’t enough to demotivate future you, listening to it will feel...well...will you feel anything at all? that’s the true question), but definitely record yourself explaining a topic or question type to yourself. voice memos are also really great for working on assignments. trying to flesh out your thesis? record yourself and title it thesis. trying to figure out what the heck your arguments should be? record yourself and title it what the heck are my arguments. trying to understand a crucial part of set reading? title it help me what is happening with ‘title of set reading’

definitely not saying you have to use all of the above study strategies at once (oh my), but I hope that integrating one of them into your study routine (or even using just one, it’s all about studying less but studying well) helps you out!

[shananigans402]

1-65 will do, please. Thanks fuck face :)

I knew exactly who this was and I was so tempted to not reply, but your punishment is having to read through all my answers and remember them forever or you fail the friend test. To everyone else, please do not click unless you want to be very bored, my answers are not interesting lol

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you? Nope

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you? Assuming 5 is the most, 1. Maybe 2. 

3. The person you would never want to meet? The person who sent me this (jk I’m excited for our eventual meet up where we hit up a strip club first thing 🙏)

4. What is your favorite word? I answered with ‘conniption’ the other day and still have not found a word I like more.

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be? Already answered this, fruit tree! I also like palm trees, maple trees, and willow trees. I know that’s not the question, I’m just saying random shit now.

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought? It took me a long while to remember where I was this morning. I honestly don’t remember, I was rushing to get ready for an early morning meeting.

7. What shirt are you wearing? My Orlando Strong shirt 

8. What do you label yourself as? Lesbian

9. Bright room or dark room? Bright room

10. What were you doing at midnight last night? Sleeping? Possibly checking on a feverish little beeb who was going through it with her second dose of the vaccine.

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far? No idea. I like various ages for different reasons, but this age so far is not bad. 

12. Who told you they loved you last? Probably my sister 🤷‍♀️

13. Your worst enemy? The person who sent this ask.

14. What is your current desktop picture? The apple pic of Catalina island that changes based on time of day (yes it’s the default, don’t judge me)

15. Do you like someone? Lol yeah I hope so 😂

16. The last song you listened to? Pretty Girl by Hayley Kiyoko 

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up? Definitely @raginage

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face? I feel like I can only attack Raginage so many times. Can I pick a fictional character? This week I was real mad at Dave in The Darkness. BaBe!​

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do? Lol no one, you’re talking to a person who feels very uncomfortable with anyone doing anything nice for them.

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional) Not this again. Last time I said eyes? Still no pics, sorry

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do? What would I look like? Do I get to design myself like a sim? I honestly don’t know what I’d do because I doubt the world needs another clueless white man walking around, so maybe just stay at home. 

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it? Nope. And my last answer to this was awful. I do think I have a fantastic ability to annoy my friends but in a way that’s just amusing/endearing enough to make them still want to talk to me 😌

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of? Unique? Uhm well my two big fears are confined spaces and deep water so a submarine is like my worst nightmare.

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal. Oh this is going to sound so odd. To be clear, I’ve had better sandwiches, but my go-to is provolone, turkey, roast beef, and spicy brown mustard or whole grain mustard. Please don’t judge me.

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it? Travel budget for future trips to visit my buds and get into trouble and eat food. I know $100 won’t go far, but it’s something.

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go? Well, after my last answer I want to visit my friends! But there are too many people to visit and I only have one ticket. So change of plans. I’m going on a solo trip to Greece. Or Argentina. Or Iceland. Or Bali. Damn, I’m indecisive. 

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be? Rabble red blend. Just a solid red wine. Also because @viola-lloyds stole my answer the other day (Juneshine; to be fair I asked her this question but whatever) and I don’t want to copy her.

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place? Oh I answered this one, something about respecting others. Yeah, a nice rule like that. Want to establish some healthy communication on this island.

29. What is your favorite expletive? It’s still fuck

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno? But what about my PLANTS. Can they count as loved ones? Probably my laptop, I know that’s lame but like...I have a lot of stuff on here. Or the collection of cards I have that my granddad drew little drawings in, I want to get them all framed.

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? To be honest, I don’t know if I’d change big life events in case it altered the trajectory of where I ended up. So idk maybe the ending of Bly, let’s give those lesbians have a happy ending!

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world! Italy! But wait, let’s get back to this sleeping with celebrities and super-powers bit...

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back? Oh that’s a really tough question. I always wanted to meet my great-grandma Olga because she seemed like a really awesome lady. 

34. What was your last dream about? I can’t remember, this is bothering me because I wish I could! I’m sorry. My gf recently had a dream where I kissed a dude right in front of her. It made us both very uncomfy lol

35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]? I hate this question because I can only think of one thing.

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital? For surgery, yeah

37. Have you ever built a snowman? But of course!

38. What is the color of your socks? Not wearing any? I was wearing blue ones earlier. Jfc my answers are so boring.

39. What type of music do you like? Lots! I tend to listen to indie, classic rock, and some pop

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets? Sunsets!

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor? Chocolate or a variant (chocolate peanut butter, chocolate caramel)

42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer) LA Rams or Seattle Seahawks. I know they’re in the same division. It’s tough. (Please don’t ask me why these teams)

43. Do you have any scars? Yep, mostly from burning myself on ovens. I simply get too excited for my food.

44. What do you want to be when you graduate? I...have graduated? 

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? Well bestie recently said I have “lesbian hands” and I think that’s code for man hands so maybe that hahaha

46. Are you reliable? I try to be!

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be? How many more times will I watch The Darkness before I learn my lesson? (Related: When does other bestie finally admit to her fetish?)

48. Do you hold grudges? Not typically, no

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create? A dog and an otter? Can we domesticate otters? No, a horse and a large bird, create a pegasus and then free travel.

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had? Oh god. I don’t even know where to start today tbh. Damie and pokemon and cosycon and looming and feet and [redacted] and developing apps for VP. So many fantastic conversations. 

In real life, probably the time I was at a laundromat in Italy and this guy wandered in with a beer, sat next to me and my male roommate, assumed we were a couple, and proceeded to give us bizarre life advice. I wish I could remember more of it, but it was so odd.

51. Are you a good liar? Hmm I’m okay at it I think, that is, I can convince people I’m serious when I’m actually joking. But I don’t like actually lying if it’s not just teasing someone. 

52. How long could you go without talking? Probably a few days if I had to.

53. What has been you worst haircut/style? The haircut I got before studying abroad! It was too short and I was so sad.

54. Have you ever baked your own cake? For a birthday? No. For fun? Absolutely.

55. Can you do any accents other than your own? Not well, no

56. What do you like on your toast? Butter and/or honey and/or jam

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of? My beautiful depiction of a scene of chapter one of Private Dancer. 

58. What would be you dream car? An electric car of some sort. I don’t know enough about cars tbh

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain. Nope but sometimes I’ll play music and dance and maybe softly sing.

60. Do you believe in aliens? Yep! Definitely 

61. Do you often read your horoscope? Almost never unless someone sends it to me.

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet? Already answered, A

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons? Dinosaurs! 🦕

64. What do you think about babies? What do I think about them? They’re pretty cool. Just tiny little humans. 

65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of. I was very nice and let you correct your mistake and submit one after the fact:

In your opinion what is the best thing you can cook, like your speciality? My favorite thing to make is pasta, I started making my own sauce and I’d love to make pasta from scratch sometime.

[radbutsafe]

ALL FUCKIN 35 OF THEM SKLNWESDJFPXO

I SHOULDVE EXPECTED THIS FROM YOU

1. From one to five stars, how would you rate your writing? (No downplaying yourself!)

A three! I think I’m mid range cause I ain’t terrible but there is still shit I gotta improve and grow in my writing

2. Why do you write fanfiction?

to manifest what canon won’t give me and to write more! (though yes it is mainly about the smooching and the— I’ll stop there LOL)

3. What do you think makes your writing stand out from other works?

Hm! My weird research details? I’m that “fun fact, did you know...” in my fics sometimes LOL! I plan on giving a penthouse for erina in a fic and I went through penthouse listings in Japan for floor layouts and locations💀 my research gives me inspo and depth to stuff I think I lack in comparison to others sometimes.

4. Are there any writers that inspire you?

In terms of fellow fic writers, one of them I can’t name here but she’s an inspiration with her exceptional gift for prose period and her lovely skill at comedy! I want to be as funny as her when I write, I love her ironic situational humor. Other fic writers are @takoyakitenchou, @royaldragonsevgisi15 who I always love sharing ideas with and motivate me to create more! For non-fic writers it would be V.E. Schwab, Leigh Bardugo, Oda, and Horikoshi! The last two may be mangaka, however they are writers as well to create their stories! The depth these creators have given their worlds and interesting characters theyve given life to are all what I aspire to be like!

5. What’s the fic you’re most proud of?

so far uh?? hm everything I’m currently writing are wips lol!! im proud of my wip that has been nicknamed ‘soma panics’ that is a multi-chapter fic that spans like probs 20 plus chapters maybe

6. What element of writing do you find comes easily?

dialogue! it’s so much fun! and character thoughts. I’ve said to people I may be better suited for script writing

7. What element of writing do you struggle with most?

I think it’s description, of like setting and showing action. also an expansion of my vocabulary LOL

8. Which character(s) do you find easiest to write?

erina! I think it’s because canon has shown us many of her different faces and range of emotion.

9. Which character(s) do you find most difficult to write?

SOMA!! chill ass mofo whos more carefree compared to the common shonen protagonist! for other shokugeki characters I’m not sure just yet because I haven’t flexed my fingers enough for the rest of them.

10. What’s your favorite genre to write for?

I guess I should say romance cause that’s what I mostly write LOL!

11. Who or what do you find yourself writing about most?

sorina and I try to get them to smooch eventually KEK and yeah it’s..usually romantic fluff lmao

12. Tell us about a WIP you’re excited about.

HONESTLY ALL OF THEM but “soma panics” is my brain child

13. First fandom you ever wrote for?

pretty sure it’s digimon....

14. What’s your favorite fandom to write for?

currently shokugeki no soma!!!!

15. What’s the weirdest fandom you’ve ever written for?

uhhhh I guess SNS? LMAO fandoms...all have their quirks to them.

16. Any guilty pleasure trope(s)?

characters cuddling!!!! or getting the urge to smooch!!!!

17. A trope you’ll never, ever write for.

unrequited love GOOD FUCKIN BYEEEEEE

18. Wildest fic you’ve ever written?

I have plot ideas thst can be wild potentially but so far nothing fits this criteria so far that I actually have written.

19. Do you prefer canon-compliant, AUs, or something in-between?

depends on the fandom, but if written well, all of it!

20. Gen fic or shippy stuff?

shippy 100% like I said I like smoochin

21. Favorite pairing to write for? (platonic or romantic!)

romantic is...*drumroll* SORINA! platonic, soutaku and erina and alice!

22. Do you listen to anything while you write?

Sometimes! There are times songs will be on loop and times I just shuffle a playlist. and if I’m writing in random bursts it’ll be with no music but it really does depend lmao I think music is when I’m forcing myself to write?

23. Do you prefer prompts and challenges, or completely independent ideas?

completely independent ideas, I’ve realized in the past prompts shoot me in the foot often unless I luckily figure something out. but I’m often driven by my own sporadic self interest with shitty ping ponging attention

24. One-shots or multi-chaptered works?

multi-chap I guess cause I can post without being finished LOLLL but tbh can I really answer? I haven’t finished anything.....

25. Have you ever daydreamed about side adventures/spin-offs from your fic? Tell us about them!

I can’t answer this question imo because I haven’t finished a fic yet so technically stuff could all fit in the one fic?

26. Is there anything you’ve wanted to write, but you’ve been too scared to try?

MYSTERY AND CRIME! I love the genre and I have plot ideas once a blue moon but I can’t dive in because I want to make details that work and reduce plot holes where suspension of disbelief isn’t as needed. I need to study it more (I need to study all the details for any of my fics imo to be confident sometimes LOL)

27. What’s the nicest comment you’ve ever received?

I don’t think I can say one comment was the nicest because I’ve gotten comments that have given me quite the smiles to my face many times! I know this is a cop out but it’s true!

IS WHAT I WAS GONNA SAY UNTIL REINA SENT ME THE FOLLOWING ON DISCORD LIKE TWENTY MINS AGO:

and also rad. i am never this vocal about my emotions like EVER but this needs to be said your fics are obviously far from perfect, as are mine and everyone else's. but the thing about your works is that they're so well-sanded that it's impossible to find any rough edges or faults in them in terms of cohesion to a plot. your cast is never OOC and the amount of effort you devote to developing your takes on the characters as accurately as possible is unimaginably awe-inspiring.

BITCH I WANNA CRY 😭

28. How well do you handle criticism when it comes to your writing?

I’d like to believe I take it often well to try and improve because that’s always my goal. if someone is rude lol that’s not constructive snd is unhelpful. If I disagree with criticism I’ll explain why !

29. Have you ever gone outside of your comfort zone for a fic? How did it turn out?

Not yet, but I have some plot ideas I think will let me test this.

30. Tooth-rotting fluff or merciless angst?

F L U F F.

31. Do you have any OCs? Tell us about them!

elliott fuji, a japanese-american award winning photographer who is erina’s boyfriend in ‘soma panics’ which..causes soma’s panic LOL he’s 30 with slightly wavy black hair. I still haven’t pinpointed his personality just yet...he kind of humble brags for sure an artsy fucker and flirts maybe I’ll make him a lil shy though. he teaches sometimes, and becomes an adjunct photography professor in Tokyo so he can be with erina.

32. Summarize a random fic of yours in 10 words or less.

a cook is unfashionably late in realizing his feelings.

33. Is there anything you wish your audience knew about your writing or writing process?

I am a slow. so slow. motivation who is she? I also write out of order, unfortunately a bit too often.

34. Copy and paste an excerpt you’re particularly fond of.

this should be for the fic ‘soma panics’ it’s either megumi or satoshi talkin to him rn, I’m leaning towards satoshi

“You thought she would always wait for you, didn’t you Soma-kun? To always welcome you home.”

Soma drags his palms down his face and groans. He doesn’t like this at all. He doesn’t shy from confrontation but this is a whole different ballgame. Soma doesn’t play any ball.

“I guess..?” Is his reply, because he thinks he isn’t sure how to answer that.

“You guess?”

Just being questioned again is enough to crack Soma’s pathetic facade as if it was dropped chinaware and he lets out the longest sigh.

“No.”

Coming home means coming home to Nakiri Erina too.

Nakiri Erina is his forever.

this is @takoyakitenchou’s excerpt she’s most proud of that I’ve written, which is also from you guessed it, the long fic soma panics

SOMA: I am, I mean I will be, I swear I will always come home to you, not spend as much time abroad, once I’m done with work I’ll come right back. I’ll make sure to message you. Nakiri, I’m in love you with you. Maybe for a really long time. You know how I say I dedicate my food to you? My dad—my dad said that the key to become a good chef is to find someone to dedicate your cooking to. A special someone. For my dad it was my mom, you know? For me it’s...

(this is a good piece of dialogue tbh so I am also proud of this)

35. Ramble about any fic-related thing you want!

I’ve mentioned it throughout this but the WIP I’ve nicknamed ‘soma panics’ is something I’m super excited to write, but it’s going on slowly...and almost completely out of order. out of all of my writing it showed off that particular habit of mine, along with “what is this, a shoujo manga?!” though the latter is currently being written chronologically now that I’ve posted chapter one and is pretty solid in direction. it was originally supposed to be a one shot but I got impatient and wanted to post at least something for the sorina / soueri fandom.

however, because ‘soma panics’ (I won’t call it that LOL) is my baby I want to keep true to my rule of refusing to post it until I have a draft of the entire fic finished and I’m satisfied with the main points pretty much. due to my writing out of order, I’m worried I’ll change my mind about scenes or want to reflect things in earlier chapters for later ones etc etc

I joined the SnS fandom extremely late, as season five was airing. I was a fan of the manga five years ago and dropped it because I forgot to check for updates when I caught up 😔 I really want to bang out the different fics and aus for sorina that I have before the fandom fizzles out entirely but tbh I’m writing for myself, I’m manifesting what I want to see and I’ll just share it with all my friends to read if no one else will. cause I’m slow broski I dunno what writing fast even is like LMAO I do really want to write faster though, so I can contribute more and let the words free from the discord dms....