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newtonian-tragedy · 2 years ago

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[Review] Dark Matter: The Private Life of Sir Isaac Newton

I guess I’m just writing this review for myself, as I have so much to process, but nowhere else to go with it. Alas, I am literally the only one in my ‘book club’ who actually has the time/patience to read books, so there’s no one to discuss anything with at the end of the day. So sperging into the void it is.

I just finished reading a novel about Newton that puts more of a detective/murder mystery spin on his days working at the Royal Mint in London. Although the plot is a work of fiction, most of the characters and broader events actually did take place.

I wanted to like this book. I really did. I loved how the author seamlessly wove so many of Newton’s quotes from throughout his life into the dialogue. The humor ranged from Newton’s dry wit to the scatological to some outright raunchy descriptions of a sexual nature, mostly involving lewd women and their “bubbies” and “cunny parts”—the kind of offensive humor that you can’t help but be amused over, unless you’re super uptight.

Awkward, to say the least. But she also could’ve just, you know, not done that in front of him. But as you will see, there isn’t much she isn’t willing to do while her uncle is under the same roof.

The thing I enjoyed most of all was Christopher Ellis’ (the narrator’s) relationship with Newton, and how the book explored his own shifting attitudes toward his master and the total loss of his religious faith that resulted from a deep understanding of the scientific lens through which Newton viewed the world.

Unfortunately, the thing that ruined it for me was Ellis’ doomed-to-fail relationship with Miss Barton.

As far as I can tell, Ellis, despite being an actual person, was never romantically involved with Catherine. And despite the vague warning in the beginning of the tale that things don’t end well (and whether or not you know that Catherine was ultimately fated to marry John Conduitt later on), the book still does a damn good job of building your hopes up and making you root for the two to remain together—all the time they spend together at Newton’s house, Catherine lovingly nursing Ellis back to health when he falls ill, etc.

…Only for it all to just fall apart, and on the very same night when they finally become intimate for the first (and final) time.

I would laugh if it wasn’t so depressing.

This feels all the more cruel once Newton invites Ellis to stay over at his place for the first time in months for the purpose of serving as his bodyguard after a recent assassination attempt. He tries to mend things with Catherine, but she is colder than ever and tells him that she cannot help with his “repugnant views” because “faith cannot be taught”.

I say “cruel” because I get the feeling that Newton knew all along and was unnecessarily insensitive to Ellis’ feelings (which he also knew full well about). I doubt it was just autistic obliviousness on Newton’s part either, especially when Halifax was not only an old friend of his from Cambridge who was in and out of his house where his own niece lived as well, but he and Ellis had only just gone to meet with him to inform him of some very important plot exposition.

That, and the book makes him into this Sherlock-like character who could tell what kind of person you are just by looking at you, so I seriously doubt something like this would escape his notice.

I mean, it’s quite obvious to me at this point that Catherine (like so many modern women today, unfortunately) was just another shameless whore who used men to ascend the social ladder. This seems to be the case even outside of fan-fiction, as she latched right onto John Conduitt (another wealthy man who would be elected as a member of Parliament shortly after their marriage) hardly before Lord Halifax’s grave had a chance to cool.

She didn’t need her uncle to pimp her out for his own benefit, certainly, but still… neither did he have any reason to complain, because there was nothing to lose and everything to gain.

I’m thinking maybe he purposely conspired to lead Ellis on for selfish reasons as well—in order to try and keep his assistant/bodyguard from becoming too emotionally incapacitated to focus on what was unquestionably a critical case?

Just… fuck me, man.

I guess the point I’m trying to make is, did the fictional Ellis really deserve such a tragedy? Could the author really not have employed a little more artistic license and tweaked the ending for his sake?

TL;DR: It's a good book over all, and I certainly recommend it if you're a Newton fan or even just into 17th century mysteries, but if you have a soft spot for characters who are left coping with the injustice of a "bad ending", then I should warn that it's going to leave a bitter taste in your mouth.

#isaac newton #books #dark matter: the private life of sir isaac newton #review

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specialagentlokitty · 3 years ago

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Natasha x Autistic!reader - Trust

Autistic female reader x Nat where she notices reader is following her around because she's new to the team and she feels safest around her? - Anon💜

After a few days, Natasha noticed that you would follow behind her, and when she looked you’d turn invisible or hide behind something.

Today she headed to the kitchen and you took a seat on a chair near the corner, legs crossed as you looked at your phone.

“She’s still following you?” Yelena asked.

“Yeah.” Natasha nodded.

“Why not tell her to stop.”

“I don’t mind it so much, she seems to know when she can and can’t follow me.”

The pair looked over at you before turning back to one another.

Natasha was making lunch, and while she was at it she made extra for Yelena and you.

Giving her sister her lunch, Natasha walked over and set the plate gently down next to you, though you still jumped a little bit, instantly making yourself invisible.

“It’s okay, it’s just me. I made you a sandwich.”

You revealed yourself and looked at the plate, giving her a soft smile.

The remembered the briefing about you, you were really shy, you didn’t speak to anyone, and you turned invisible when you felt scared.

She decided to sit at the smaller table with you, silently eating your food together.

It wasn’t long before she got up to leave, noticing you were still on your phone, she stood against the counter.

“Are you coming?” She smiled.

Lifting your gaze, you quickly stuffed your phone away, put your plate in the sink and jogged over to follow behind her.

“Can I ask you something (Y/N)?”

You nodded your head at her.

“Do you follow anyone else around?”

She knew the answer already, but she was curious about what you would say to her.

You simply shook your head, and she hummed a little.

“How come you follow me?”

You stopped and shuffled a little, flicking your eyes from her to the floor.

“I don’t mind it, I’m just curious is all.”

“You... make me feel safer...” you mumbled.

Natasha froze for a second, as an assassin she was used to making people scared or uncomfortable.

The fact that you felt safe with her made her happy and a soft smile spread across her lips as she walked to stand in front of you.

“What about the others, do they not make you feel the same?”

You shook your head and gently pulled at the bottom of your hoodie, doing anything to avoid her eyes.

Feelitn uncomfortable you turned invisible, and Natasha laughed softly, she reached out but she noticed that she couldn’t feel you.

“Are you still here?”

“No...”

“You don’t have to hide from me, I’m glad I can make you feel safe (Y/N). I promise I won’t let anything happen to you while I’m here.”

You showed yourself and smiled softly at her, it was a smile that seemed so bright but so unsure.

Natasha had so many questions about you, but she knew to take it slow, let you get comfortable before she starts asking.

She knew what it was like to be the new person on the team, and it wasn’t a very nice feeling.

“Well, I have a meeting, but you can come too.”

She started walking and you jogged after you, smile on your face as you trailed next to her. You liked her, she was probably one of the nicest people you ever met

#marvel #marvel x y/n #marvel x you #marvel x reader #marvel imagine #avengers #avengers x you #avengers x reader #avengers imagine #natasha ramanoff #natasha romanoff x you #natasha x reader

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tatney · 3 years ago

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saw first time viewing livewatch thoughts

* adam is so transgender <3

* oh so the quality of my ill eagle copy isn’t that bad it’s just that the lights were off lol

* his name is lawrence gordon. he’s a DOCTOR

* mr elwes sir please stop mumbling my autistic ears cannot hear your

* MR FAULKNER STANHEIGHT IS A WHOWERE. WHY DID YOU SHOW HIM YOUR TIT

* aha lawrence is t posing :)

* adam. my widdle boy

* lawrence telling him to take his shirt off 👀

* GSMSHSKWYKSBSKSUWLHD JOHN IS SUCH A BITCH

* I KNOW EVERYONE IN THE FANDOM CALLS ADAM PATHETIC BUT GOD

* john mulaney hmm gross!.jpeg

* okay but i WOULD have checked under the toilet lid first. the things you’ll do for an older man 😔

* these two are so bad at playing catch. the kids who didn’t run the mile representation

* if i could see cary elwes’ eyebrows better i’d find him s*xier

* JOHN KRAMER I’LL KILL YOU MYSELF. I HATE THIS MAN I CANNOT STAND THIS MAN

* so the editing really IS like that huh

* yes he IS a murderer you stupid son of a bitch. there is no “technically” about it you fucking idiot

* we’ve got two bitches from lost my beloved :)

* THAT’S THE PRESIDENT FROM THE BLACKLIST TOO

* all of sing’s clothes are too big for him. small man :)

* MANDY MANDY MANDY MANDY MANDY MANDY MANDY MANDY MANDY MANDY MANDY MANDY MANDY MANDY MANDY

* PLEASE GOD I LOVE HER I LOVE HER SO FUCKING MUCH I’LL CRY

* i knew that the editing was like THAT but not that MUCH ya know goddamn

* oh a giallo style shot. lov that <3

* MISS SHAWNEE SMITH DESERVES EVERY AWARD ACTUALLY

* motherfucker on his liddol tricycle

* i would piss on that fucking puppet

* futurama they must learn our peaceful ways by force.jpeg

* that’s just john’s vibe

* i wonder how much of saw inspired the batman arkham games thinking emoji

* how am i only half an hour way through

* tbh i want this kid’s duvet not kidding

* girl you in DANGER

* and i want that big snake :)

* HE’S NOT PLAYING THIS LITTLE PIGGY. NOT IN A MOVIE WHEREIN PEOPLE DON PIG MASKS BC THEIR REPRESENT REBIRTH AND PEOPLE ARE CONTINUOUSLY CUTTING THEIR FEET OFF. MR WHANNEL I WOULD LIKE TO HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH YOU

* “she’s beautiful” he’s taking about the dog BSBNSYSLAYSLSBLSU

* “where’s the. uh lucky wife” and you mean to tell me that adam isn’t a homosexual when he looks at lawrence like that while saying this line

* “i’m always missing from the photos” oh sir i’ve been on saw tumblr just you wait for the dramatic irony to hit just you WAIT

* oh god i though jigsaw wrote a slur in there good GOD

* very billy from black christmas vibes, harold finch from person of interest :)

* excuse me mr tapp but who’s amy and why do you have her starbucks order

* OOOOOOOHHHH FUNKY TRANSITION

* james wan you are such a KING

* “who said anything about a warrant?” sir that’s illegal

* sir that’s breaking and entering

* sir that’s a LOT of paperwork that you won’t be able to complete bc you’ll be dead soon but STILL

* did jigsaw plan on lawrence wearing blue or was that a funny coincidence lol

* john’s wearing his bathrobe

* HIS ASSASSINS CREED BATHROBE HOLY SHIT

* ooh slidey door. wonder if there’ll be more of those later on teehee hoo hoo

* somebody show tapp the “that’s not your depression bed; that’s your nest omega” tiktok and see if that does anything

* “what do you want me to do? i’m on a leash” DOGBOY ADAM DOGBOY ADAM DOGBOY ADAM

* “you wanna put something in this room in your mouth?” “YES!!!!!!” are these lines from fanfiction verbatim

* adam you’re so fuckin stupid why would you spy on a man but keep the flash of your camera on

* OOOOOOOOOOH IT’S THE CINEMATIC PIG CARPARK SCENE

* “whatEVER” “i’m dealing with a juvenile.....” this is what happens when you have a sugar baby lawrence

* INFAMOUS ADAM GENDER SMOKING FAKE DEATH BREAKDANCE SCENE LET’S GOOOOOOOOOO

* little dogboy twink photographers have me in a perpetual chokehold they really do

* i mean he’ll waste a lot of film but. okay i guess this is a horror movie after all gsmshsksynbsmahsp

* BEATS THE SHIT OUT OF YOUR GAY LITTLE PUPPET WITH MY BAT

* oh adam really is serving jonathan byers teas with the baseball bat and the camera as weapons. fuck

* cary elwes posh little accent coming THROUGH

* adam doesn’t make sense as cis man. he just doesn’t look at that man he’s so transgender

* ok but lawrence’s “mistress” is GORGEOUS actually omg

* i’m still gonna say that he’s gay tho. u can’t take that away form me lol

* adam’s wrists are so LIMP holy shit

* lawrence gordon classist moments

* mr elwes please control your accent sir i’m struggling not to laugh

* ok ally’s a girlboss then !

* michael emerson my beloved. when you try to be evil you have all the menace of a disgruntled bunny rabbit

* “lawrence get up! i need you!” now when you fuckers told me these two were gay you didn’t say THIS gay

* at least ally and diana are ok :)

* ok my headcanon is that lawrence is originally from england but was moved to america as a kid bc i need in contextual reasons for all of the accent slips that i can’t take seriously

* ADAM GIRLBOSS MOMENT

* “don’t worry i’ll bring someone back i promise” YOU LYING TRICK ASS MOTHERFUCKER I’LL KILL YOU MYSELF /j /affectionate

* at least john’s got that ARCH

* IT’S THE SCENE IT’S THE SCENE

* god that movie fucked. that movies fucked SO hard good god no wonder gay people love it

* ok i think that ill league gull copy broke my laptop lol

#BRO I’M SWEATING THAT WAS SO GOOD HOLY SHIT YEA #gonna try to fix my laptop now lol <33 #saw #adam faulkner stanheight #lawrence gordon #john kramer #amanda young #zep hindle #david tapp #steven sing #alison gordon #diana gordon #chainshipping #mine #long post #ns/fw #i haven’t gif a clue what half of this says but <3 #*got i haven’t GOT a clue #if you got this far. i am high-fiving you and interlocking our fingers <3

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asexual-abomination · 4 years ago

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Plat!Yan!Chrollo x Autistic!Reader x Plat!Yan!PT - Soulmate AU Part 1.5

This is only a partial continuation, as I'm largely setting up some hopeful future plot points. Still not too much yandere yet, but we should be getting into it in the next full part!

Credits for this idea came from the lovely @kiame-sama.

I have no traditional education in writing, so any advice for writing is highly appreciated! I'd also like to once again mention that this work is largely self-indulgent and for a very specific niche.

Hope you enjoy reading!

-----

The next day, you woke up early in the morning, getting started on your morning routine. As you got some simple cereal prepared, you walked past Jo still asleep on the shabby sofa. Looking at their sleeping face, you felt a type of joy that everyone had always told you was reserved for soulmates. Jo was much tougher than you, broader built and louder by a long shot, and they had protected you in your childhood. You knew in your heart that no matter how perfectly matched you were with your soulmate, no-one would ever overtake Jo in your heart.

It was quiet in your home as you ate, still processing what had happened the night before. You wondered how your soulmate's friends were talking about you to him. Were they laughing about how weakly you spoke? Telling him that there was something off about you, that you didn't act like any normal person should?

"Ah, you're up!" Jo snapped you out of your thoughts. "Do you wanna talk right now? Maybe I could tell you about what we said to your soulmate?"

You asked them to tell the story of the previous night, and they excitedly launched into it. Apparently, your soulmate was very polite and well-spoken, asking respectfully about your life and listening carefully to the stories they would tell. You were glad to hear that he seemed less excitable than the others who worked for him, but the fact that he had still forgotten the day of your switch still hid in your mind.

The morning went on quietly as you decided against telling Jo about the worries you had for your soulmate. The events of the previous night were still setting in, as you attempted to rationally think of why your soulmate would possibly let such an odd switch happen.

Jo decided instead of pressuring you to start brainstorming how to find your soulmate, and what you should do when you finally met in person.

"You should show them all of your trivia and merch, I know you love rambling about that stuff of yours!"

You smiled and laughed just slightly, but didn't assent to their suggestion. It had taken so long to begin showing even Jo your most personal habits and collections, you weren't sure you could show those things to someone you had only just met.

"Oh, come on! They're your soulmate, they'll love you no matter what!"

"Yeah... Yeah, whatever."

The lower tone ends the conversation rather well, but there is an air of annoyance from both of you, reigniting the fear that you may have upset your closest friend once again. It was nothing you hadn't said to them before, but they eyed you with a grim expression. You could understand Jo's plight though, their own soulmate having passed away just shortly after their switch. They wanted to ensure that you had the best possible time with your soulmate, so your insecurity pissed them off.

"I've got to head home around now, but I'm always available to call, okay?" They got up and grabbed their keys, waiting for your confirmation before leaving. You replied in the same low tone that had overtaken you at the end of your chat, and Jo quickly nodded and walked out of your small home.

-----

Bonus - Shortly after the switch.

-----

"Aww! Look at them!" Shalnark's voice pierced the car, almost making Phinks flinch at the high pitch his voice took on. "They're just the cutest!"

Shalnark's phone was passed around the car, a picture of (Y/N) and some basic information listed to the side on the screen. As every passenger took their chance to check the image, they couldn't help but agree with their excited companion, thinking you were absolutely adorable, especially for their closed-off boss.

Machi sighed, "They look exactly like how they talked, we shouldn't leave this one out in the world for too long."

The others nodded and hummed in agreement, knowing the fate that could await someone like you if your soulmate was discovered.

Chrollo, who had still barely spoken since he returned from the switch, spoke up at that point, "Hmm... We shouldn't have to worry too much, but I agree, they can't be left unattended for too long."

"What the hell do you mean, 'we shouldn't have to worry for too long'?!" Nobunaga exclaimed, "I don't know what you see, Boss, but I can't see this one holding their own if any assassins or hunters get sent after them."

"I understand your concern, and it's true they may not be as strong as we are..." Chrollo trailed off for a moment, a look of anger overtaking his features, "But there is someone protecting them already, who I'm sure can prevent any harm until we get there."

"Really, you think some friend of theirs is gonna be able to protect them from people who are after us?"

"Yes. Unfortunately." A moment of confusion took over the atmosphere of the car, "I trust in that friend of theirs to keep (Y/N) safe while we get there, but once we arrive they must be disposed of."

The passengers in the car could only begin to fathom the depth of emotion that was overtaking Chrollo's heart in that moment, but they could tell simply from the shift in his aura that there would be no mistakes in retrieving this soulmate.

"And Shalnark?"

"Hmm?"

"Call in the rest of the Troupe."

-----

Thanks for reading!

#hunter x hunter #hxh x reader #hxh #chrollo #machi #phinks #shalnark #nobunaga #phantom troupe #yandere #yandere hunter x hunter #yandere phantom troupe #yandere chrollo #platonic yandere #x reader #autistic reader #yandere x reader

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hellyeahheroes · 4 years ago

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Robin(2021) #1 Review

Opening this comic with an assessment of a character that I have no choice but to agree with is a cheap way to score points with me.

Anyways, we caught heat for being unfair to this story since it was announced because all of us wanted it to be a Cass story since forever. And it became yet another thing Damian absorbs. I mostly ignored it because I’ve always been open about my disdain for the character and his fandom for nearly a decade. I never liked Damian because put these characteristics on a non-white passing character, they’d be dead inside of year. Then again I hate almost all of Grant Morrison monstrosities.

Regardless, new story who dis is in full effect here. We open this bad boy up with Damian gone missing and the Batfamily searching for him. Nightwing tried asking Damian’s old Teen Titans team and they obviously don’t know and probably hope Damian is dead. Tim checked Arkham Ruins(???) and Damian wasn’t there. I honestly don’t think Tim was trying to find Damian. Steph and Cass checked Damian’s farm and Steph concluded Damian has been there at least because while Damian may be a little shit, he loves his dog and pet bat dragon. Barbara checked facial recognition pings and his transactions and dude is an IRS nightmare.

Damian is missing. Bruce is worried that maybe making a violent murderous preteen Robin raised in a cabal of killers to be chief murderer was a bad idea and is worried. Barbara ensures him that they will find his son and we cut to Damian fighting Snake guy in some musty ass fight put somewhere. Because of course it’s a musty ass fight pit because while the story is well drawn, it never claimed to be not cliche.

Damian hands the scrub his ass and it turns out Damian is trying to earn a marker to participate in some tournament. I liked this panel.

Not because of the artist flex of changing the art style, but it establishes Damian with a relatable hobby, reading manga. And not just a Shounen as you expect him to read but a slice of life manga which kind of puts his life in perspective. Also the lesson in the manga is reflective of what happens in the comic. Damian’s mastery is reflective of how he sees Hana. Hana decides to go beyond what her masters taught her. She decides to innovate and make her art her own. And that’s indicative of another flaw of Damian: Damian leans of the prestige of his teachers. He is the student that replicates the style 1:1. He wants to inherit Batman’s mantle, but doesn’t want to shed his teachings that he is proud of. And it comes down to this idea that Damian refuses to innovate and adapt because he is hiding behind his masters.

This panel saved the story so good job.

And after a talk with dead Alfred, it’s revealed that Damian is on this journey as a way to mirror Bruce’s journey into becoming Batman. It’s his way to iron his resolve without a catalyst to find a need to. It highlights his naïveté. He thinks that he can just simply copy the steps and get the same results.

Regardless what happens next simultaneously undermines the story or the impact of it.

Okay, when you think of Martial artists in DC, you immediately think Batman, Shiva, Deathstroke, Black Canary, Bronze Tiger, Richard Dragon, and Shiva. Why I said Shiva twice? Because Shiva is the pinnacle.

So to reveal that three premier martial artists in the universe are not only not participating but they were paid off to not participate, cheated out, or were subbed in as an entry replacement, it undermines the promotion. It’s like going to a Beyonce Concert only to find out that between the words in small print Beyonce and Concert was ‘s Sister’s and now you are watching Grammy award winning Solange. Sure, it’s an unique experience but it ain’t Beyonce.

And also, there is no amount in the world that would keep Shiva away from this tournament if it’s as prestigious as it’s led to be. Let’s be real. If anything, it’s far more likely that she saw the roster of scrubs and decided to make some scratch.

There are two characters that I recognize: Connor Hawke and Rose Wilson. I am not familiar with Connor so I am not sure if he is out of place. Rose is fine but y’know, scrub. I’m sorry Rose Wilson got her ass handed to her by Cass in the previous universe. There is no universe where I take her seriously in a fighting tournament to crown greatest fighter because the ass stomp was so thorough that Cass was beating Slade’s ego by proxy.

Back to the comic, Damian interrupts the host and basically is the fighting tournament trope of overly confident disrespectful guy with too many accolades which he will proudly tell you about them. What I like about this is the nice nod to the previous manga panel. Damian is not a great fighter. There I said it. Damian’s ability hinges on the idea that he was trained by the greatest killers and Batman but the issue is that name prestige doesn’t make great fighters. Too many times, comic books overly rely on this idea of fighting being a what you know and not being a game of not getting hit and getting hits in. It does not matter if Damian is trained by the League and Batman and it’s questionable as to how much Batman taught him in the first place. Hence why we see Damian with a sword or staff to compliment his lack of range. Damian can’t read muscle twitches like a Cass or Shiva so he has a normal reactive response and comics never highlighted his ability. The most impressive thing I’ve seen Damian do is catch a Batarang which is something I’ve seen Tim do. Damian overly relies on the idea that his teachers taught him to be the best when they simply taught him to survive in a fight.

“But why does Cass get away with it?,” you ask. Cass has this broken hax that is reading muscle twitch and immediately knowing the instant of what you are going to do before you do it or decide to do. Cass doesn’t need range because to her, you are screaming your intentions. She doesn’t need to block an attack when she can just parry. She doesn’t need to step back when she can just step forward while slipping all attacks. She is an autistic savant at fighting with an absolute defense. Damian is just another badass teen in a world of badass adults.

And the humbling of Damian begins...again.

Pros:

-Damian’s new costume. I like that he is branching out and starting to own his own colors. It’s nice.

-Using a character flaw to make it a theme. I like Chekhov’s gun via teachable moment. In tournament arcs, what separates the good ones and the bad ones is the idea that the hero simply must overcome their opponents and not their own self. This is why Yuyu Hakusho is awesome.

- Great art and nice continuity. It’s nice that Damian’s past wasn’t ignored for once and they didn’t just throw his Teen Titans characterization down the tubes. Say what you want, but it was arguably Damian’s longest run in spite of his fans hating it. And contrary to what they believe, it was very much in character for him. My fear going into this that Damian would not face any fallout and lo and behold he ran away.

- it’s a good start for a Damian story. Say what you want, but it’s unique in that the little shit gets his comeuppance immediately. And not that just by losing, but by dying. Damian has killed before and readily justifies it because he never realizes the weight of taking someone’s life. He’s been killed before but those were painted in a way that he is valiant. Here, this is death caused by his own arrogance. He mocks a fighter for talking shit and gets murked while talking shit. He spouts names of his own teachers and expects people to care or be weary as if Rose Wilson and Connor aren’t there. It’s a tournament sponsored by the League of Assassins, Damian. They have been taught by the league too.

Cons:

-Look I get promotion. No promoter is going to undermine their product but the fact that this tournament reeks like ABA is killing my interest to give a shit. It’s a convenient caveat to say that, “Well, a character won this so they can have the title but the title doesn’t mean anything.” I know of regardless of whom wins this, they aren’t the best. Go ham or don’t at all.

-not enough emphasis of the importance of this arc. Why even have this tournament? What’s the prize? What’s even the point?

-While the art is nice, the action is framed poorly. I like physical action like this to be nearly choreographed in a way I can see and piece movement in my head. The two fight scenes we get are somewhat disjointed in that it’s just poses. For example, Flatline’s first kick makes no sense at all and I don’t get her follow up. Trying to picture the movement hurts my head and in an action concept like this, it’s best to frame action scenes as more than doing poses. Here is a good example:

This only emphasizes the action and gets the reader to acknowledge that this a tournament of great fighters or at least a great fighting story.

All in all, do I think this story is off to a good start? Yes. Is it going to change my opinion on Damian? Hell no. My reaction to Damian getting his ass handed to him was this.

The issue is that it never sticks. Damian can learn and be a better person but the development never sticks. It becomes a cyclical series of events because whoever writes him next will just keep writing him as this shitty entitled murder rich kid who never learns anything and gets validated somehow. It’s been over a decade and I’m tired of the same excuses of his shitty behavior. I am tired of writers validating it or excusing it.

Damian losing isn’t an outcome I care for because it’s wasted on him. Honestly I am more interested in Connor and Rose being there. I have no faith that it will stick nor does it undo the shitty idea of the character. I have never wanted to see Damian fight. It’s never been fun to read about nor has the impetus of his character emphasized the ability or style. Placing Damian in an Enter the Dragon style tournament lacks the pizzazz of Cass doing the same thing. For example, let’s try Marvel.

Let’s say someone pitches an idea of a tournament arc styled after Game of Death. Immediately you think Martial Artists non-powered. Danny Rand, Daredevil, Elektra, Shang-Chi, Pei and Colleen Wing. Okay, instead of giving those characters the honor, you give the story to Black Cat. Honestly, I’d read it because Felicia could sell me a documentary on grass and I’d buy it but the point stands, why does Damian have this Bruce Lee inspired Martial Arts story versus the actual Chinese or East Asian Martial Arts focused member of the Batfamily, Cassandra Cain?

But this has nothing to do with what could have been. It’s a fun beginning of a possibly fun arc. In that regard, it delivers but what’s the point?

Like I said, fun story.

@ubernegro

#dc #robin #damian wayne #batman and robin #batman #tim drake #stephanie brown #cassandra cain #batgirl #barbara gordon #oracle #dick grayson #batfamily

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werevulvi · 3 years ago

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You know how often I ask myself, why can't I just be normal? It's quite a lot. I wanna talk about something I've never told anyone before, aside from a few strangers online. I've suppressed this my whole life, since childhood. I've acted with anger towards others with the same thing as me, told them how it's offensive and awful. Refused to allow myself to even think about my own urges and desires. It worked for a long time, until I wrote my book this summer, a fiction story about a couple who end up disabled from their dangerous work as assassins. My intentions were just... to try to give good representation and explore something I knew very little about.

So I did a lot of research into my characters' disabilities, and even briefly pretended to have those specific disabilities at home alone, just to get an idea of what it's like to manage daily life with them. It was just a writer's thing, just being a dedicated writer, I told myself, as I researched those disabilities far more in-depth than I did about assassins...

At one point, I would cover my eye with a makeshift eye patch, as one of my main character's loses an eye, and I... it brought forth what I had suppressed my whole life, and I can't suppress it anymore as a result of that. The bottled feelings have escaped and I can't put them back in again.

I think I have Body Integrity Identity Disorder (BIID.) There, I said it.

It's a very rare mental illness that makes you want to become disabled, usually in some very specific way. Most are males, and most desire amputation, but it can pertain to wanting blindness, deafness, or I guess, any conceivable disability. There's only been a few thousand reported cases, but it's also said to be a very secret disorder, so numbers are probably not accurate. It's very poorly researched, poorly understood, and still not recognized as an actual disorder. So you can't be diagnosed with it currently, and there are no set criteria for it. However, it will be in the upcoming ICD-11 (the International Classification of Diseases.) It will then also be re-named to Body Integrity Dysphoria (BID) as it's being recognized as a form of dysphoria, and as a neurological condition.

And now for the obligatory life story:

I don't remember when it started, but as a child, I'd say roughly age 5 or 7, I was obsessed with fictional characters that had a distinct scar over one eye, and either blind in that eye or entirely missing it. I would on occasion play around with a hand covering one eye, and wished I could have that for real. For a long time, I didn't know why I was so obsessed with that. If I was just admiring that kinda physical feature, or wanted it myself, or both. Throughout my teens and adulthood thus far, I've made a lot of drawings of people with only one eye, and scarred faces. I wrote another book back in 2013 with one of the main characters being a woman with a large scar across half her face. I've always been a little too fascinated with facial deformities, having only one eye, and facial assymmetry. And I've tried to express it with assymmetrical makeup looks (not made to look like I'm injured) throughout my teens and 20's.

So it's been with me for a very long time, even though I've tried super hard to suppress it, and tried to tell myself that I should just be happy to have a mostly abled body. But that wish/urge/whatever it is, has never gone away.

When I first heard of BIID, back in 2016 or so, I was angry, and thought of people with it as despicable. I was in deep denial of how much I could relate to them. Didn't want to think of that. But since learning more about the condition, and listening to others who have it, and learning it is actually a real condition... I guess that has helped me eventually come to this point that, well fuck... it me.

Up until recently, I thought it was just a self-harm desire, as I used to be a cutter, but now I understand that the self-harm was not the intention behind what I want with that, but merely the means to achieve it. Kinda like how I wanted to cut my own tits off before I had my double mastectomy. It wasn't about specifically wanting to injure my chest, but to not have tits anymore, and I much preferred the much safer way of doing it, through proper surgery. However, wanting half my face re-arranged is a little bit harder to achieve through elective surgery, even if surgeons were allowed to treat BIID through surgery. So I do not think my desire to get rid of my left eye and surrounding tissues is about wanting to harm myself. It's about wanting to have and live with the result of such an injury. Although I get that might be very unimaginable.

So then, have I ever made any attempts?

Yeah... I have. Once, I think it was when I was 22, I took a blade to my face, but chickened out, and ended up only making a very superficial cut on my cheek, which I was then extremely ashamed of. I didn't want for people to find out I had made it myself. Since then, I've stopped self-harming and have no desire to make a second attempt. I'm scared I'd fuck it up and cause damage I don't want, or... not enough damage. And I'm worried I'd be beyond myself with shame if I would take out my own eye and then other people would show sympathy for my injury, knowing I'd have caused it myself. I just kinda wish it would happen accidentally somehow.

So, to clarify, my BIID targets my left eye and left side of my face. Why left? Honestly because I'm deaf since birth on my left ear, so it would be extremely inconvenient to be deaf on one side and blind on the other. Much more manageable to have one side be blind-deaf and the other fully seeing and hearing. But at first it didn't matter to me so much which side of my face would be affected. I have no desire to become an amputee or fully blind. I also don't have a fetish for disabled people.

Would I date a disabled person?

Yes, but that's because some attractive people just so happen to be disabled, and I wouldn't think I'm particularly judgemental, not that I find their disabilities in and of themselves attractive.

I try to quell this desire, to lose an eye and half my face, by on occasion wearing an eye patch in secrecy. I know it can worsen my vision, but why on Earth would I mind that? It's kinda what I want. But my mom almost caught me wearing it today as she came by for a quick visit, and I have worn it at the grocery store, and out and about in my village. It feels so damn right, yet so fucking wrong...

Let's tackle this question as well: Do I feel like an ass towards disabled people?

Yes and no. Thing is, I'm already disabled myself. I'm not an abled person to begin with. I live on permanent sickness compensation, classified unable to work, for life, with little to no chance at improvement, due to my autism and adhd. I have the energy levels of an old cellphone that drops to 2% battery ten minutes after being fully charged every time. And I hate it. I hate that there's so much in life that I'll probably never be able to do. So disability, is already part of my life, and always has been. So why then would I want to become more disabled, instead of less? Well, yeah that is what I want...

I've faced a shit ton of ableism since childhood, and I actually think that's why I got BIID. Because my actual disability is invisible and not taken seriously in society. And I think that's what I deep down want: to just have my disability be visible and taken seriously. Physical disabilities are taken more seriously. I've even heard that straight from the mouths of people who have both mental and physical disabilities. How often have I not been called lazy for something I've been literally unable to do, just because I "look" capable? How often do I get to hear I "don't seem autistic?" How often do I get told that autism is not even a disability, but merely a personality trait and being socially awkward? How often do I get told I would be able to work if I just tried harder? All. The. Fucking. Time.

I think that's why, ever since I was a child, I've wanted to have a physical disability, which is fully visible, and cannot be ignored. And what's more visible than the face? We interact with it the most. Because I don't really want to be less capable or lose a lot of movement, I just want for my already disabled existence to be visibly disabled.

So that's a big reason for why I think I have BIID. Which is to say, I don't feel like I'm being an ass towards disabled people, because I'm already disabled to begin with, merely wishing I was more disabled and in a more visible way. Had I been abled to begin with, I think that would have been different, but even abled people with BIID don't choose to have this condition. I read a quote from a person with BIID, who got the amputation he wanted, and he said basically that he didn't know what's worse, having BIID or being disabled. I can relate to that. And I think that is the irony here, that simply having BIID is like being disabled in and of itself already.

That said, however, I do understand why disabled people would be greatly offended, angry, or otherwise insulted, by people with BIID. Honestly I cannot understand why they would not be. I'm greatly offended by people who say they wish they were autistic! And I'm offended at myself for wishing I had a facial deformity and only one eye. Why do I want this!? I keep trying to shake sense into myself. It's what's causing my shame and wishing I could just be normal. No disabilities, and no wish for disabilities I don't have. That'd be great.

There is one more aspect I also feel the need to tackle: Transabled.

BIID has recently been rather often labeled as "transabled" in the same vein as "transracial" (wanting to be another race) and transgender. As a transsexual, this comparison is of course something that I have not missed. I'm painfully aware. This is how I see it, alright: Although I do feel like my body integrity dysphoria is incredibly similar to my sex dysphoria, I feel like it would be extremely rude and tone deaf to identify as for example vision impaired, deaf or an amputee, without actually having those disabilities. And I do not know if anyone actually does this. As far as I've seen, some people with BIID may pretend to have the disability they want (like with me walking around with an eye patch despite having no medical need for it) but they don't lie about it, or they try hard to avoid ending up in a situation where they'd feel pressured to lie. So I dunno how much validity there even is in anyone with BIID genuinely identifying as transabled. But regardless of that, I think it's absolutely abhorrent to identify as disabled in ways you are not. And I'd never tell anyone that I'm missing an eye when I do not.

So, I really do not like the term "transabled" and much prefer the BIID and BID terms. I do not like BIID being conflated with being transgender, although I want to very carefully say that the two conditions are so incredibly similar, that... I think that's another big reason I ended up with both. That I've always felt a strong disconnect from my body, which has merely expressed itself in a wide array of ways, ranging from sex dysphoria to body integrity dysphoria, dissociation and even having previously identified as otherkin. I don't think that's a coincidence at all. But then what caused all of that? I don't think there is a simple answer, but a multitude of reasons, and it may even connect with my autism as well as my trauma.

So, I'd say most likely it's caused by a cocktail of neurological and social issues. I was just clearly meant to be a broken person, making the most of my life with the sucky cards I was dealt, and on good days... I guess I'm kinda okay with that. At least it's not boring. Let's end on that not super tragic note. Feel free to ask me anything, if you’ve got any questions.

#biid #body integrity dysphoria #body integrity identity disorder #finally accepting i probably have this #im not happy about it but it is what it is i guess #ok to rb #transabled #im only adding that tag bcos i know many dont know what the condition is actually called

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amysgiantbees · 3 years ago

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Head-cannons for me for MHA DND

Urarka is grey ace pan. She likes to perform cantrips or float a little to alleviate stress. Socialist, ACAB. Trains with Bakugo regularly, they’re very close friends. Her parents are poor builders. They live in the poor area of the city and do a lot of community and charity work.

Kirishima is a trans man. Loves meat, particularly red meat. Big protein guy. A whole homosexual. He has two mothers, one is a gladiator, the other is a stay at home mom. He does yoga and meditation. Absolute golden retriever, mourning person. He cracks his knuckles when stressed. Always goes for a mourning run. He knows how to speak Bakugo so he knows when is or isn’t being a dick.

Denki is nonbinary they/he, Bisexual. Denki loves flirting with people’s parents especially Bakugo’s. His parents are awful and resent him for being chosen by Kord as they are very stuffy, devout followers of him for years and never recieved similar attention. Dyslexic and ADHD - ticks ALL the boxes, like can pick up talents very quickly, like the lyre. Night owl, puts all his work off till night then sleeps till noon. Gets jitters and ticks when stressed. Massive flirt. No filter. Lack of self preservation. Would be a fantastic dancer if he didn’t overthink it so much. Was in Jiro’s band. Lichtenberg figure. When he short circuits it’s numbing. He can’t think and his thoughts come slowly too him at best. He often ends up drooling. He can’t focus on his surroundings. Can’t feel anything so people can easily take advantage. Usually can only form enough thoughts to reassure people and put his thumbs up to show he’s okay.

Sero is nonbinary, they/them. Demisexual panromantic. Skateboards exist just for Sero. He is from a large family. Two fathers, one mother. They’re part of a traveling commune. Sero is just sleepy, isn’t a morning or a night person. Best wingman, very observant. Very laidback. Rubs arm and elbow when stressed. His family are tattoo artists, did his elbow tattoos as his magic focusses before he left for high school.

Whole Bakusquad are Kord fans.

Mina is ace/aromantic. her parents are assassins' that specialize in poisonings. Night owl. Loves fashion, and visiting Bakugo’s parent’s store. Sensible one out of the Bakusquad. Bakugo is usually the brains behind their plans but she’s the primary authority on whether they go ahead. Kirishima tends to hesitate - look to others for advice, Sero hesitates too - wants to think it over and take his time, Denki just dives in on instinct - what feels right, Bakugo is impatient - does not hesitate at all and often doesn’t factor in people’s feelings. Mina is the perfect balance of everyone. Thinks it through, has good instincts, is brave, doesn’t need to ask but is open to suggestions.

Aoyama is gay. He has IBS (Alcohol, chocolate, caffeinated beverages are potential culprits as are certain types of carbohydrate known as FODMAPs). He massages his face when he’s stressed.

Tsuyu is ace and homoromantic. Her dad is a grung florist and her human mother is the accountant for the flower business. She has two little siblings, a twin brother and sister.

Jiro is a sex positive ace bisexual. Jiro’s family are very popular travelling bards. Songwriters too, they’ve patented songs. Night owl. She plays with her hair when stressed. Plays instruments to relax. Can get stage fright. Likes to sing to calm down people after a monster attack, help people with both her talents. Loves her parents.

Nejire Hado grew up as an orphan raised by the local temple of Sune. She has grown to have a stronger connection with Mystra now as she’s grown into her own person but she still loves and worships Sune. Nejire asks more questions than she answers. Gets over excited very easily.

Bakugo is pansexual - he just likes them strong. His mother is half-orc and a model and fashion designer for her and her husband’s clothing business. It’s called Green with Envy. Masaru has terrible shyness when it comes to modeling. So all of their clothing is made to be gender neutral and Mitiski models everything for the flyers and posters. Totally has ADHD, impulsivity, avoids lengthy tasks, feels restless, can’t stay seated. Never drinks, this man treats his body like a temple, he has a bed time, morning person. Bakugo cracks his neck and joints when stressed. Can play drums, was in Jiro’s band.

Tokoyami is ace and grey aromantic. He can play the lyre, was in Jiro’s band. Dark Shadow likes to collect shiny things. He pets and talks to her her when stressed. He loves poetry and ballads. Often spends nights in taverns listening to dark songs. Writes his own poetry. Only his best friend Shoji and crush Aoyama get to read it though and even then it’s very reluctantly.

Shoji is very nervous to date, very insecure. grey ace, panromantic.

Ojiro is pan. Everyone likes to play with his tail when he grows it. He plays with it when stressed.

Koda is ace and aromantic. Likes to hide, be somewhere small and confined when stressed. Terrified of bugs, but mostly just the crawly, scary ones.

Sato is grey ace aromantic. Stress eats. Solves other peoples problems with food too. Giving gifts is his love language.

Izuku is also pan he really likes them strong. His mother has a tiny cake shop in her house next door to Green with Envy. Night owl, anxious. ADHD - shows in impulsivity, distracted, very observant, fidgeting, can’t stay focused, talking excessively, interrupts, intrusive. He fidgets with his hands when nervous. Holds grudges and guilt trips when upset. can’t forgive himself, apologizes too much. Stubborn, doesn’t know when to give up.

Heroes are gladiator esque. They have posters, dolls, figures, homemade wood carvings. They work as adventures but some are paid by the heroes commission to remain in one city and participate in gladiator battles (not to the death) too.

All Might is currently ranked number 1 in the world by the hero commission and has permission to teleport anytime to other countries to help but is based in Faerun, Masfutu.

Izuku and Bakugo try every year to win behind the scenes tickets to the coliseum.

All Might is ace/aro. He’s always been naturally talented at picking up new skills - ADHD - and is thrown that he hasn’t quite taken so well to teaching. Struggled for a bit but is taking it seriously and putting in the work finally.

Grand Torino and Recovery Girl are in love and they spend their dates hassling and messing with the Youth.

Cementos is struggling with a divorce

Mic and Aizawa are married. They have been since a couple of years after school. Aizawa had a whole flamboyant, elaborate proposal planned for Mic, but the day he was going to propose Mic said “we should get married” while gazing lovingly in his eyes and Aizawa was so relieved.

Mic is nonbinary trans he/they. Before he got married to Aizawa and teaching when they took a break from each other he was a world famous Bard. He sings in class and Aizawa has to always bang on the wall to get him to shut up when it gets to loud.

Aizawa is trans and Shinso is son with an ex he jumped into a relationship with after he finished UA. He was never a “hero” in the coliseum, didn’t want the attention, he was a freelance adventurer for a little bit before becoming pregnant, then teaching.

The reason Power Loader never wears a shirt is because he is a huge fashionista and he doesn’t want any of his clothes getting wrecked because he refuses to own no more ugly clothes than required.

Ibara Shiozaki is straight. She’s from a whole family of temple worshippers. (Fantasy) bible before boys.

Jurota Shishida is the lone survivor of a werewolf attack and an orphan. He lives at the school permanently.

Iida is mostly straight. He swings his hands when stressed and musts his hair. plans everything. Morning person. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day.

Yaoyorozu is the local royalty. She has lead a VERY sheltered life. Never left the city except when directly teleporting to other fancy locations. Iida is very dedicated to her as his family is one of her family’s vassals. She rubs her chest when stressed. Absolute capitalist. Only knows how to ball dance and can play the piano. Was in Jiro’s High School band. Doesn’t get to do her own shopping a lot so loves to whenever she can. Loves spoiling people. Kind of naïve.

Cementous and Exoplasm are the oldest teachers at UA and best friends.

Shouto is a grey ace demiromatic gay man. He darts his eyes when nervous. He’s autistic. Knows how to ball dance.

Hawks is pan. He’s a workaholic so he’s up at the crack of dawn. Always seems laid back but is VERY observant. High alcohol tolerance. He plays with his feathers when nervous but is aware of this tell so tries to just do nothing and only does it if very stressed. Favourite food is birds, like chicken, as that’s hawks primary food. He has tetrachromats eyes so can see ultraviolet light. Female hawks are generally larger than males. Hawks prefer open habitats, like deserts or fields. Probably lives on the outskirt of the city, lots of windows. His preferred time to work is just before nightfall. He will likely only live to his 30s at most. He’s mostly based on red-tailed hawks. Perfectionist. Orphan, is the adopted child of the head of the commission.

Shouto’s father is so desperate to find him and keep him because he knows that news of his reputation is vital. Enji is not royalty by blood but by marriage. He’s aware that if he doesn’t keep a tight leash on his family they could ruin his reputation as he’s human (mostly) and the rest are half-elves. So they’ll all outlive him. He’s already lost Touya so he’s desperate to as discreetly as possible find Shouto. Momo is helping him run away and hide out and paying for his school tuition. Enji was at first a hero like All Might until he managed to secure his marriage with Rei. He’s very aware that there’s only so much he can control his reputation as his whole family will outlive him. So will he redeem himself or double down?

Dabi is the League’s reluctant big brother. Likes to mess around with Toga most of all, she reminds him of his little siblings.

Vlad King is one of the founders of UA and is over 100 years old.

* These are purely notes for myself for a dnd game coming up for myself which is why I’ve nicked ideas from tiktoker lia_faye.

#myanalysis

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moiraineswife · 4 years ago

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Jasnah Meta - The Importance of Context

AKA: PLEASE stop saying that Jasnah is pro-genocide when she is. Not. At all. In any way. Shape or form. Whatsoever.

TL;DR: Nowhere, at any point, in four ginormous books of text, does Jasnah ever say ‘you know what’s great? Genocide.’ She never even implies. It she never even actually, seriously, suggests it. Please stop saying she does as though it’s canon I lose 12 years of my life every time it’s mentioned.

AND NOW FOR THE LONG VERSION BECAUSE Y’ALL KNOW I CAN’T LEAVE IT AT THAT!!!!!

PLEASE NOTE! THERE WILL BE SOME MINOR RHYTHM OF WAR SPOILERS IN HERE. PLEASE AVERT YOUR EYEBALLS IF THIS IS A DISTRESSING CONCEPT TO YOU.

So first things first, let us discuss The Scene Itself:

“Yes. The answer is obvious. We need to find the Heralds.”

Kaladin nodded in agreement.

“Then,” Jasnah added, “we need to kill them.”

“What?” Kaladin demanded. “Woman, are you insane?”

“The Stormfather laid it out,” Jasnah said, unperturbed. “The Heralds made a pact. When they died, their souls traveled to Damnation and trapped the spirits of the Voidbringers, preventing them from returning.”

“Yeah. Then the Heralds were tortured until they broke.”

“The Stormfather said their pact was weakened, but did not say it was destroyed,” Jasnah said. “I suggest that we at least see if one of them is willing to return to Damnation. Perhaps they can still prevent the spirits of the enemy from being reborn. It’s either that, or we completely exterminate the parshmen so that the enemy has no hosts.” She met Kaladin’s eyes. “In the face of such an atrocity, I would consider the sacrifice of one or more Heralds to be a small price.”

“Storms!” Kaladin said, standing up straight. “Have you no sympathy?”

“I have plenty, bridgeman. Fortunately, I temper it with logic. Perhaps you should consider acquiring some at a future date.”

So the only time Jasnah actually brings up this concept it’s to, hyperbolically, point out that asking the Heralds to return to Braize and trap the Fused may not be the worst idea.

She’s not actually suggesting this as a valid or legitimate tactic. It’s to contrast the plan Kaladin just called her ‘insane’ for suggesting (I bet that’s gonna hurt a million times more than it already does in 900 years when we get Jasnah’s book and backstory but hey. Back on topic) and point out that, in the face of the apocalypse, this is the kind of level they have to think on.

I’ve already talked about the nuances of this scene at length here, so I’ll just do a quick summary: Jasnah is not as composed about any of this internally as she makes out to be - even what she suggests with the Heralds.

When we see her alone with Ivory, reading Taln’s repeated mantra, Ivory notes that she’s troubled. The words (and where he was/how he was being treated when they were recorded) is enough to trigger a twenty year old flashback in her.

This scene is one of the clearest moments (along with the Kharbranth thug scene, I suspect) where Jasnah’s outward projection of her internal feelings and thoughts least matches up with reality.

In spite of the inflammatory remark that sparks this all off, she doesn’t want to assassinate any Heralds. She quite clearly says she wants to “see if one of them is WILLING to return to Damnation.” She wants to have a conversation with them, understand the Oathpact, and see if any of them would consent to buying them some time. She is not suggesting they knife one of the Heralds in a back alley. That’s Moash’s job.

This is supported by what she does in canon. Jasnah is actually the one who recognises Taln and Ash and, somehow, manages to persuade them to join her at Urithiru and help. She treats them with nothing but dignity and respect in her scenes with them in Rhythm of War, and tries to find out more about the Oathpact and their options - as she said she wanted to do.

But since Jasnah is a Kholin, which means the ‘D’ in her DNA stands for DRAMA, she doesn’t say that, instead she says: “let us find the Heralds and kill them.” (I love her so much y’all. Ahem. Anyway).

But there’s method to this madness, too. Please click the ‘keep reading’ button to discover why! (have to turn my own posts into clickbait bc they’re so long I have to put in a cut to spare ur dashboards).

Jasnah likes to push people. She likes to force them to think, and consider all angles of a problem, and come to terms with their own thoughts and opinions. This is one of the things that frustrates Shallan about Jasnah in TWOK:

Shallan caught a victorious glimmer in her eye. She wasn’t necessarily advocating ideas because she believed them; she just wanted to push Shallan. It was infuriating. How was Shallan to know what Jasnah really thought if she adopted conflicting points of view like this?

-TWOK 36

Jasnah doesn’t want to brutally murder the Heralds and force them to return to their maddening idea of hell. But in phrasing it as she does, she can get an insight into Kaladin. Despite the fact we know him very well at this point, this is, this is the first time Jasnah has interacted with him on-screen, and only the second time she’s met him ever.

“That Windrunner. What do you think of him, Shallan? I find him much as I imagined his order, but I have only met him once. It has all come so quickly. After years of struggling in the shadows, everything coming to light—and despite my years of study—I understand so very little.”

Oathbringer, 33

Jasnah in that scene is deliberately being as exaggerated, ruthless, cold, and harsh as she can get away with. She’s trying to push Kaladin. She wants to bait responses from him, to get an idea of what kind of man he is, and what he stands for. She focuses entirely on him on that scene, and the reactions we as readers get see that as well.

“If you wish, Captain,” Jasnah snapped, “I can get you some mink kits to cuddle while the adults plan. None of us want to talk about this, but that does not make it any less inevitable.”

“I’d love that,” Kaladin responded. “In turn, I’ll get you some eels to cuddle. You’ll feel right at home.”

Jasnah, curiously, smiled.

Jasnah likes to be pushed as well. She likes to have people push back with her, and stand up for themselves, assert themselves, make their arguments. She all but encourages Dalinar to publicly do so in RoW.

Socially, in spite of Kaladin’s rank or status as a Windrunner, it’s probably 100% Not Acceptable to ask an Alethi princess if she wants a basket full of eels to cuddle because she is one, effectively. But Jasnah’s unphased - and even pleased - by Kal’s response. She likes that she’s seeing this from him, that he’s unguarded, and passionate, and more than willing to go toe-to-toe with her, which few people are.

Also, because I foresee potential problems in this meta that I would like to nip in the bud right now, I don’t think that Jasnah is doing this to play with people? That’s not really in her nature or who she is. There’s a purpose to everything she does, and there’s a purpose to her doing this, too.

With Shallan it was to encourage her to think for herself and form her own thoughts and opinions. Just before in that scene, Shallan asked why Jasnah couldn’t just tell her what to think and what was the right philosophy to have in life. Jasnah replied it was something she had to discover for herself - and that’s how she approaches all of their studies.

Jasnah never teaches Shallan what to think, or even what happened, despite that being the meat of her study. Instead, she teaches Shallan how to think, how to study, how to learn, how to critically reason, and how to form and argue her own thoughts and conclusions.

With Kal, I think it’s a quick and brutal way of quickly getting to grips with a new, very important, element in what’s going on in her world. Remember, too, that one of Jasnah’s most obvious aims, aside from protecting the world, is protecting her family. And Kaladin is very close to everyone that she loves and holds most dear, while she knows nothing about him.

However, something else that’s important to note, which, for me anyway, RoW all but confirmed: Jasnah has low cognitive empathy.

She’d come to realize, early in her youth, that she didn’t approach relationships the same way everyone else seemed to. Her partners in the past had always complained that she was too cold, so academic. That had frustrated her. How was she to learn what others felt if she couldn’t ask them?

Chapter 99 really was an absolute fucking gift, I mean really. Asexuality AND low empathy, all in one go. What a delight.

This little snippet can be read as her being asexual, potentially, but I actually think it reads more heavily and obviously about her being neurodivergent? And specially low cognitive empathy. Brandon says that, to him, Jasnah is not autistic spectrum, but you just keep giving me more evidence to say she is buddy!! Anyway. Diagnostic debates aside.

I would guess some of y’all don’t know what the heck I mean by ‘cognitive empathy’ (I didn’t before I researched all of this a couple of years ago).

There are two types of empathy, in strict psychology terms (and then there’s the colloquial way we use it to just mean ‘a good person with feelings’ which drives me BANANAS but that’s a rant for another day):

Affective empathy - which basically means ‘this person around me is happy/sad/excited, I am also now feeling that way. Because emotion is infectious like a cold! How thrilling’.

Cognitive empathy - is the ability a person has to pick up on/know what others are feeling without having to be told. Using tone/body language/facial expression etc etc. It’s something I, and a lot of other autistic people, are bad at.

So is Jasnah!

Her previous partners disliked her probably verbally vibe checking them every other week to find out where they were at. Jasnah was frustrated because how the heck else is she meant to know wtf?? What an absolute mood this woman is. Anyway.

This revelation/confirmation makes a LOT of Jasnah scenes make a lot more sense. Including: chapter 64, and her insistence, to the point of it almost being illogical, that she fight without her Surgebinding to try and get as clear a picutre of what her soldiers are facing as she can. Jasnah starts off that chapter by saying she’s never actually been in a war before, and states throughout that she wasn’t prepared for what it was actually like.

Her low empathy means that, without a personal context/experience to relate to and draw emotional experience from, she struggles to understand exactly what her troops are going through.

Obviously she knows that ‘war is bad, battles are scary and not fun’. But she has no way of emotionally relating/truly understanding what they’re feeling. This is one of the reasons I think it’s so important to her, despite Ivory’s chiding, to do it that way so that she can understand.

Similar thing is happening here with Kaladin. Jasnah struggles to instinctively Get Vibes from people, so she goes about things in a very scholarly way.

She does research and makes notes (see: her little folio on the highprinces (which, by the way, misses out on several important aspects of them Shallan picks up on pretty quickly by the power of Intuition), she asks questions - and she sets up scenarios that push people into blatant emotion so she can observe and get an idea of what makes them tick.

TL;DR TAKE TWO: Jasnah does not want to murder all of the Singers. Jasnah never says she wants to. Jasnah only uses it as a ‘see, asking the Heralds to go back to Damnation isn’t actually that bad now is it?’ hyperbolic counterpoint after Kaladin asked her if she was insane. Jasnah is not actually what she pretends to be in that scene. She is but a hapless gay who cannot detect emotions so she has to conduct her Vibe Checks differently from other people. She is highly valid in every way and i stan her.

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elriell · 5 years ago

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Book Rec’s

Going to try and add a lot of less known books that are amazing and not enough people talk about, this would be too long if I talked about each one in depth, so I am going to leave my fav quotes as that tends to give me a feel for books and whether I will like them and I will link the GR page for more info! Happy reading:)

Fantasy Vibes

From Blood And Ash by Jennifer L Armentrout (CLICK THIS TOO)

“Death is like an old friend who pays a visit, sometimes when it’s least expected and other times when you’re waiting for her. It’s neither the first nor the last time she’ll pay a visit, but that doesn’t make any death less harsh or unforgiving.”

“Fear and bravery are often one and the same. It either makes you a warrior or a coward. The only difference is the person it resides inside.”

“You're an absolutely stunning, murderous little creature.”

Storm And Fury by Jennifer L Armentrout

“What are you going to do if it does get worse?” he asked. “Maybe I’ll get myself a seeing-eye gargoyle.”

(HONESTLY BADASS GARGOYLES. SO UNIQUE AND AWESOME)

Demons At Deadnight by A&E Kirk

“I launched into a graceful ninja-like front roll, then stood my ground to face the monstrous heathen, fearless in my determination to vanquish the deadly foe.

Nah, just kidding. I bolted, discretion being the better part of not getting dead.”

“We are killers,” Matthias said. Bad news.

“Not girls. We don’t kill girls.” Good news.

“She’s no girl.” Insulting news?

“What? Of course she’s a girl.”

“Want me to check?”

“Shut up, Blake,” the rest of them chorused.”

The Cruel Prince by Holly Black

“If I cannot be better than them, I will become so much worse.”

“If you hurt me, I wouldn't cry. I would hurt you back.”

“I am going to keep on defying you. I am going to shame you with my defiance. You remind me that I am a mere mortal and you are a prince of Faerie. Well, let me remind you that means you have much to lose and I have nothing. You may win in the end, you may ensorcell me and hurt me and humiliate me, but I will make sure you lose everything I can take from you on the way down. I promise you this is the least of what I can do.”

MM Romance

Him by Sabrina Bowen & Elle Kennedy

“Our mouths fit together so perfectly. Every time we kiss, I fall even more in love with him, and it has nothing to do with sex or lust. It's him. His closeness and his scent and the way he soothes me.”

“I…” He clears his throat. “I’d let you do it, though.” My hand freezes in his hair. “You would?” Wes nods. “I’d let you do anything to me, Canning.”

Misfits by Garrett Leigh (Poly romance, its just so perfect ala herongraystairs!)

“Learn something. Read a book. Explore someone. Anger is just a hole where your life could be.”

In The Absence Of Light by Adrienne Wilder

“The light is a funny thing, Grant. We think it shows us what we need to see, but in reality, it blinds us. That’s why I brought you here. I wanted you to see me.”

“Morgan may be autistic, but he is a normal man with a mental condition, not a mental condition who is a man.”

HOneStly JUST READ IT

The Foxhole Court by Nora Sakavic

“It’s not the world that’s cruel. It’s the people in it.”

“I'm not a math problem." "But I'll still solve you."

“Is your learning curve a horizontal line?”

“Who said 'please' that made you hate the word so much?" Andrew gazed at him in silence for a minute. "I did.”

“I didn't think I was a personal problem. You hate me, remember?" "Every inch of you," Andrew said. "That doesn't mean I wouldn't blow you."

EVERY QOUTE IS ICONIC TBH

Vampires, Angels & Greek Mythology

Bloodlines by Michelle Read

“The greatest changes in history have come when people were able to shake off what others told them to do.”

“Takes a lot of tries before you hit perfection." He paused to reconsider that. "Well, except for my parents. They got it on the first try."

“No, thank you," said Adrian. "These hands don't sully themselves with fighting.”

“Everything's about my personal entertainment. The world is my stage. Keep it up- you're becoming a star performer in the show.”

Angels Blood by Nalini Singh

“Some things were worth the dance with danger.”

“You do realize this makes your wings even more unique." "Are you saying you shot me as a cosmetic procedure?”

“You ask a lot of questions for a dead woman.” “What can I say? I prefer to die well-informed.”

“You don't fear me," he said now. She wasn't stupid enough to lie. "I'm petrified. But I figure you didn't make me come all this way just so you could push me off the roof.”

Dark Lover by J.R Ward (warning OTT vamps if thats not your jazz either skip)

“Some bridges you crossed on your own, no matter who drove you to the edge”

“Vengeance was one hell of a roommate.”

Half-Blood by Jennifer L Armentrout

“Two people see each other across a room or their skin brushes. Their souls recognize the person as their own. It doesn’t need time to figure it. The soul always knows… whether it’s right or wrong.”

“It’s just words and words mean nothing. Only action does.”

“People do the damndest things when they’re in love.”

“There is a difference between love and need. Sometimes, what you feel is immediate and without rhyme or reason.”

Assasin-y Goodness

Grave Mercy by Robin LaFevers

“When one consorts with assassins, one must expect to dance along the edge of a knife once or twice.”

“I comfort myself with the knowledge that if Duval ever feels smothered by me, it will be because I am holding a pillow over his face.”

“Surely He does not give us hearts so we may spend our lives ignoring them.”

“There is no shame in scars, Ismae.”

Daughter Of The Pirate King by Tricia Levenseller

“I am me because I choose to be me. I am what I want. Some people say you have to find yourself. Not I. I believe we create ourselves to be what we want.”

“Lass, you've the face of an angel but the tongue of a snake.”

“Everyone has something dark in their past. I suppose it's our job to overcome it. And if we can’t overcome it, then all we can do is make the most of it.”

“Waiting. Not waiting. One lover. A hundred lovers. There should be no judgement either way. A woman is not defined by what she does or doesn‘t do in the bedroom.”

“Even a man who’s spent his whole life at sea has reason to fear her when she’s angry. But not I. I sleep soundly. Listening to her music. The sea watches over me. She protects her own.”

Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo

“No mourners. No funerals. Among them, it passed for 'good luck.”

“It's not natural for women to fight." "It's not natural for someone to be as stupid as he is tall, and yet there you stand.”

“I will have you without armor, Kaz Brekker. Or I will not have you at all.

“The heart is an arrow. It demands aim to land true.”

“Kaz leaned back. "What's the easiest way to steal a man's wallet?" "Knife to the throat?" asked Inej. "Gun to the back?" said Jesper. "Poison in his cup?" suggested Nina. "You're all horrible," said Matthias.”

The Kiss of Deception by Mary E. Pearson

“It can take years to mold a dream. It takes only a fraction of a second for it to be shattered.”

“Taking another life, she had whispered, even a guilty one, should never be easy. If it were, we'd be little more than animals.”

“Maybe there was no one way to define it. Maybe there were as many shades of love as the blues of the sky,”

“We all have our different skills. You’re patient to a fault, which sometimes doesn’t work to your advantage. I, on the other hand, have the patience of a wet cat. Only on rare occasions does that come in handy.”

“Maybe there were a hundred different ways to fall in love.”

Circus Vibes

Caraval by Stephanie Garber

“Every person has the power to change their fate if they are brave enough to fight for what they desire more than anything.”

“She imagined loving him would feel like falling in love with darkness, frightening and consuming yet utterly beautiful when the stars came out.”

“Some things are worth pursuit regardless of the cost.”

The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern

“You may tell a tale that takes up residence in someone's soul, becomes their blood and self and purpose. That tale will move them and drive them and who knows that they might do because of it, because of your words. That is your role, your gift.”

“Secrets have power. And that power diminishes when they are shared, so they are best kept and kept well. Sharing secrets, real secrets, important ones, with even one other person, will change them. Writing them down is worse, because who can tell how many eyes might see them inscribed on paper, no matter how careful you might be with it. So it's really best to keep your secrets when you have them, for their own good, as well as yours.”

Six of Hearts by L.H Cosway

“Note to self: Never try to out-trick a trickster.”

“So why not live with the magic? Be a kid again and believe in the fantastical. Life is more fun with a little smoke and mirrors.”

“We all have thoughts that we would never, ever vocalise. And people who say they don’t are liars.”

“I once read that people who have imaginary friends never reach out to touch them. There’s some part of their brain that subconsciously knows it will break the spell. That’s what it feels like with Jay.”

Amour Amour by Krista & Becca Richie

“We all traverse in and out of people’s worlds, leaving footprints. Some larger, some smaller, but there is always a mark. We can’t sweep it away.”

“Life is a rollercoaster with no volunteers. We’re all forced to take a seat and ride it out.

“I’m average. I’ve been average most of my life, but there are moments where I feel extraordinary. Invincible. Able to conquer any fear and step outside any box. There is no illusion, no fantasy. I can climb a forty-foot pole. I can fly eighty-feet in the air. I can be taller than tall. It’s a dream that I’m living. Every day. With him.”

More M/M Romance

The Song Of Achilles by Madeline Miller

“I could recognize him by touch alone, by smell; I would know him blind, by the way his breaths came and his feet struck the earth. I would know him in death, at the end of the world.”

“And perhaps it is the greater grief, after all, to be left on earth when another is gone.”

“He is a weapon, a killer. Do not forget it. You can use a spear as a walking stick, but that will not change its nature.”

“He is half of my soul, as the poets say.”

Axel’s Pup by Kim Dare (Shifter Romance & BDSM FYI if thats not your jazz)

"I want to screw you, and tie you up, and make you writhe from-you know all that. But I want so much more. I want the whole thing, not just a quick scene. I want twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. I want you to be mine. I won't take anything less."

Aristotle And Dante Discover The Secrets Of The Universe by Benjamin Alire Sáenz

“In your dream. You were looking for me.""I'm always looking for you,"

“He was funny and focused and fierce. I mean the guy could be fierce. And there wasn’t anything mean about him. I didn’t understand how you could live in a mean world and not have any of that meanness rub off on you.”

“He looked like an angel. And all I wanted to do was put my fist through his jaw. I couldn't stand my own cruelty.”

“One of the secrets of the universe was that our instincts were sometimes stronger than our minds. Another secret of the universe: Sometimes pain was like a storm that came out of nowhere.”

Shattered Glass by Dani Alexander

"Tell me something good about your life," I whispered, needing to hear that he wasn't as broken as I thought him to be.[...]"You." It was so quiet I almost didn't hear it.”

“Is he my competition?” I asked. “Everyone is your competition.” Peter lifted his hand to his eyes and began lowering it incrementally. “It goes normal human beings, crazies, republicans, my hand, imaginary characters, corpses and then, in a moment of lustful psychosis, you.” By the time he was done, his hand was below the table.

Romance

Kiss The Sky by Krista & Becca Richie

“You’re not a pit stop. You’re my finish line. There’s no one after you.”

“People hope to touch the sky. I dream of kissing it.”

“I love the way he’s staring at me. It makes me feel more than just beautiful. I feel like I’m his. Like no one else could possibly compare to me. He doesn’t even have to say the words. I see it in his eyes. I can practically read it in his mind.”

“I’ve wanted so many things in life,” he says softly, “but you’re the one that has meant the most to me.”

Translation: I love you.”

Wallbanger by Alice Clayton

“You know those moments when everything is exactly the way it was meant to be? When you find yourself and your entire universe aligning in perfect synchronization, and you know you couldn’t possibly be more content? I was inside that very moment, and fully conscious of it.”

“The right woman for you wouldn't want you to change anything about your life. She wouldn't rock your boat, she'd jump right in and sail it with you.”

“It breaks my heart the way young girls pick themselves over, never thinking they're good enough. You make sure you always remember, you're exactly the way you're supposed to be. Exactly. And anyone who says otherwise, well, poppycock.”

Ugly Love by Colleen Hoover

“Ugly love becomes you. Consumes you. Makes you hate it all. Makes you realize that all the beautiful parts aren't even worth it. Without the beautiful, you'll never risk feeling the ugly. So you give it all up. You give it all up. You never want love again, no matter what kind it is, because no type of love will ever be worth living through the ugly love again.”

“Some people they grow wiser as they grow older. Unfortunately, most people just grow older.”

“Sometimes the spirit of a man isn't strong enough to survive the ghosts of his past”

“My grandfather used to say the placement of a birthmark was the story of how a person lost the battle in their past life. I guess you got stabbed in the neck. Bet it was a quick death, though.”

On Dublin Street by Samantha Young

“Gentlemen are gentlemen in bed. They make sure you're having a good time." "I'll make sure you're having a good time, and that you're okay with everything. I just won't be well mannered about it.”

“In truth it’s difficult to describe a broken heart.”

“Sometimes words aren’t needed for you to know a change has come upon you.”

Romance Series

Paper Princess by Erin Watt

“My skill, if I have one, isn’t dancing. It’s my ability to believe that tomorrow can be a better day.”

“My life is mine. I live it. I control it.”

“but a clean knife still makes a painful wound.”

“Fate is for the weak--those people who don't have enough power or will to shape life into what they need it to be.”

Foreplay by Sophie Jordan

“I’m not going to lie to you and convince you that I’m someone good and shiny like your guy that’s going to be a doctor.”

“You can’t even see it. I’m the safest thing you’ll ever find”

“That's what I wanted. Something to enrich me, to make me feel better about the things in my life that I could never change."

Wait for You by J.Lynn. (AKA Jennifer L Armentrout)

“You are really…” “Amazing? Awesome?” He paused, brows raised. “Astonishing?” “I was going to go with bizarre.” “Well, hell, if I had feelings that might actually hurt.”

“As long as the sun’s shining, shit can’t be that bad.”

The Deal by Elle Kennedy

“Sometimes people sneak up on you and suddenly you don’t know how you ever lived without them.”

“I want to murder him in his sleep, A. No, I want to murder him when he’s awake so he can see the joy on my face when I do it.”

“And the most important lesson I learned is that I’m not a victim—I’m a survivor.”

Romance w/ Epic Plots

The Unbecoming Of Mara Dyer by Michelle Hodkin

“This was the boy I loved. A little bit messy. A little bit ruined. A beautiful disaster. Just like me.”

“You could start a fire with the heat between you two.""You're mistaking bitter animosity for heartfelt affection.”

“You're supposed to say, 'All I want is your happiness. I'll do whatever it takes, even if it means being without you.'""Sorry," Noah said. "I'm just not that big of a person.”

“I’ll walk forever with stories inside me that the people I love the most can never hear.”

“We are far too screwed up for a goddamned love triangle.”

“You will love him to ruins.”

The Winners Curse by Marie Rutkoski

“He knew the law of such things: people in brightly lit places cannot see into the dark.”

“Isn’t that what stories do, make real things fake, and fake things real?”

“The Winner’s Curse is when you come out on top of the bid, but only by paying a steep price.”

“The god of lies must love you, you see things so clearly.”

Obsidian by Jennifer L Armentrout (are you getting the idea I love everything she writes? because I do!)

“I've always found that the most beautiful people, truly beautiful inside and out, are the ones who are quietly unaware of their effect."

“More books." His eyes went wide. "You have, like, them books you just said you haven't read." "Doesn't mean I won't get more books."

Angelfall by Susan Ee

“I never thought about it before, but I'm proud to be human. We're ever so flawed. We're frail, confused, violent, and we struggle with so many issues. But all in all, I'm proud to be a Daughter of Man.”

“Sometimes, as we're stumbling along in the dark, we hit something good.”

“I knew from the start that your loyalty would get you killed. I just never thought it would be your loyalty to me that would do it.”

Unique Reads

Dont Look Back by Jennifer L Armentrout

“I was stuck in a life I didn't remember, squeezed into the shell of this girl - this Samantha Joe Franco - and the more I learned about her, the more I was starting to hate her.”

“Things aren’t perfect. They are far, far from it,but they are getting there, and I wasn’t looking back. Not when there were so many good things in the future.”

Verity by Colleen Hoover

“I wasn’t heroic. I wasn’t simple. I was difficult. An emotionally challenging puzzle he wasn’t up for solving.”

“A writer should never have the audacity to write about themselves unless they’re willing to separate every layer of protection between the author’s soul and their book. The words should come directly from the center of the gut, tearing through flesh and bone as they break free. Ugly and honest and bloody and a little bit terrifying, but completely exposed.”

“No one is likable from the inside out.”

“Find what you love and let it kill you.”

Painted Faces by L.H Cosway

“We all paint on a face to show the world," Nicholas replies philosophically. "For some of us, that's quite literal.”

“I love him because he makes me laugh when I don't feel like laughing. I love him because he challenges my view of what a man is. I love him because I know I shouldn't love him and that he'll break my heart. I love him because he's a complete and total anomaly. I love him because I want to kill the sadness inside him more than I want anything else in the world.”

“You saw me, changed my life, made it better, and I’m completely fucking in love with you.”

Sorcery of Thorns by Margret Rogerson

“It was always wise to be polite to books, whether or not they could hear you.”

“Knowledge always has the potential to be dangerous. It is a more powerful weapon than any sword or spell.”

“When terrible things have happened to you, sometimes the promise of something good can be just as frightening.”

“You belonged in the library, as much as any book.”

“You unmanageable, contrary creature. You have made me believe in something at last. It feels as wretched as I imagined.”

Obviously not every book is going to suit everyone, everyone has pet peeves, and things that they won’t enjoy but hopefully this gives you some variety and I personally loved them all at some point! Pls feel free to come to my ask/chats to discuss any of them that would make me so happy <3 this took 4 hours damn

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lercymoth · 3 years ago

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So since I missed autism pride day and it's disability pride month, I might as well tell you all a little about myself.

Hi there! My name is Lercy, you might also know me as just Moth, if you met me on VRChat you one me as Ilija the Sniper. If you know me it's probably because of my video I posted of a bunch of tiny Hornets from Hollow Knight. Anyways, I'll talk a little about me and my disabilities.

Basically my entire life, I've always struggled academically. In 3rd grade I was in danger of failing my class, and my mom would have to argue really hard to make sure I wasn't held back. I think it was around middle school I got a diagnosis for ADHD. I struggled a lot in high school and had to retake algebra, and I struggled in college. In college, I really struggled to function on my own. I procrastinated a lot, missed a lot of assignments, and I kept telling myself "I'll do better next quarter." And each time I didn't. I kept thinking it was because I was lazy or some crap like that, and then when talking to one of my autistic friends, they started talking about autism and I began to realize it sounded a lot like they were talking about me. So I did research, and I slowly began to realize I was autistic. I didn't realize it before for a lot of reasons. First off, I barely knew anything about autism, let alone disabilities. I thought disabled only applied to physical disabilities. On top of that, the few things I knew about autism were stereotypes.

That being said, I'm not ashamed or regretful about the fact that I'm autistic, if anything I'm proud of it. It's part of who I am, it makes me different and that's okay. It's helped me understand people society tends to neglect, and that's made me into the person I am today.

Regarding my autism, I have a few things like stimming, echolalia, a few special interests, and sometimes I get meltdowns. I also tend to get loud on accident whenever I get really excited or happy. I like to usually fidget with pens by clicking them, I also like to pick up pebbles or just any small ball-shaped object and fidget with them (this led to me engaging in compulsive hand washing/using way too much hand sanitizer because I would tend to pick up random shit off the floor lol). I often takes bits of things other people say and tend to incorporate it into my own language, for example, penguinz0's "Fuck yeah baby, now we're cooking." line is something that kinda stuck with me for a little while. Meltdowns, I don't get them too often, just when something really frustrates me, which admittedly isn't too often. What I was younger, I used to find something I like and immediately turn it into a special interest. Right now my special interests are in fiction with a lot of symbolism in it, and philosophy in politics (more specifically, discussion surrounding what we can do to transition our current system in the US to a system where people are valued as more important than property or money. I'm sure you know what I mean). I'm also very interested in the new World of Assassination trilogy for Hitman, which really dives into the fact our world is ruled by people who just want to make more money. I also really like stories about defying fate and denying the idea of being locked into a destiny you can't control, which is why I really like The Dragon Prince.

Now, since I have barely done anything for Disability Pride Month, I thought I'd do something special. I really like @whitepeopletwitter, they've been my go-to for a lot of philosophical-political discussions regarding the way America is, I've relied on a lot of their posts in 2020 to learn about important issues since regular news outlets don't always give the truth, even what people see as 'leftist' like CNN, which is why I thought I'd make a new tumblr blog called disabledpeopletwitter. Similar concept, I find posts by disabled people and post them on tumblr, and not just random posts, posts bringing up important issues the disabled community faces, such as discrimination, hate, and eugenics so that both non-disabled people and disabled people alike can learn about them, but on top of that it's meant to advocate for the rights of disabled people all over the world. I'll probably also use it to signal boost disabled people needing help.

So yeah, that's a little about me, and my plan on what I'm going to do for disabled pride month.

#actually disabled #actually autistic #autism #adhd problems #autism pride #disability pride month

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postmodernmulticoloredcloak · 4 years ago

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Avatar: The Last Airbender episode 3x05 ☆ﾟ*･｡*･

Beach episode Fire Nation style! I was actually hoping we’d learn more about Mai and Ty Lee and hopefully this is our chance.

Zuko’s hair is getting so long lol.

They’re going on an island where they used to go every summer as kids. Oh boi. There are going to be flashbacks and it’s going to hurt, uh?

The island is cute... but they’re staying with the two old ladies. Who say the beach has some kind of magical power that can help you understand yourself and each other... and get in swimsuits.

Meanwhile the gang is also relaxing in a lake. But Aang gets seen by Fire Nation soldiers who send a message to the Fire Lord. *facepalm* You had one job.

Meanwhile the Fire Nation gang is the most dysfunctional bunch of people ever and it’s the funniest thing.

They get invited to a party by some dudes who don’t recognize them... Azula says she is intrigued by the idea of seeing how people’d treat them when they don’t know who they are. Ember Island reveals the true you...

Zuko’s assassin intercepts and destroys the message about the Avatar being alive. Helpful, thanks I suppose...? I mean, putting the assassin-out-to-assassine-Aang part aside.

I love how Azula is unable to say something funny.

“For some reason when I meet boys they act as if I’m going to do something horrible to them” no one in this family has a grain of self-awareness lmao

I don’t know if Mai and Zuko are the absolute worst or absolute best couple. Both at the time time I suppose. When it was first shown they were a thing I thought it was some kind of fake dating to spy on each other or something but apparently they’re just two human disasters and they click together.

I’m laughing out loud asdfghjkl Azula

This episode is a fucking GEM I fucking STAN whoever came up with this.

Whoops Zuko and Mai broke up. Yeah, the human disasters theory fully explains everything.

Whee the angsty part begins. Zuko goes to their old beach house and remembers the past...

Meanwhile the assassin arrives and his forehead tattoo apparently sends explodey rays. Yikes. Did you blow up Alderaan or something...?

Awwww the beach does indeed work as a therapy session. Everyone yells at each other and blurts out their traumas! Yay! Our favorite disaster muffin finally admits/realizes he’s angry at himself. Because he’s confused and it feels like he can’t tell the difference between right and wrong... you are so close to the point sweetheart you just need a few more steps.

Aww they get back together. Now that they’ve actually talked it can be a healthy relationship! Good, good.

Ooh even Azula gets affected by the feeling-y environment. It weighed on her that her mother thought she was a monster... “she was right of course but it still hurt”. Girl be a normal person for once please

This is cute. Like they’re murderous disasters but they’re cute. I also like the parallel between Aang burning his glider and Zuko burning the family portrait. Always need some good ol’ pars destruens in narratives.

Excellent episode, insight on Mai and Ty Lee was very due, Zuko getting a grain of awareness over his own feelings was very needed, and Azula is intriguing as more than just murdery machine. As I think I’ve already mentioned in another post, it’s interesting how they haven’t been just writing her as “well she’s evil and does evil things” but in a way that makes her really seem like she cognitively lacks a capability for empathy. She seems unable to muster certain basic social skills, understand how humor works etc. I’m intrigued to see the writers’ choices for her because she seems to be written as an autistic kid on whom her father installed a specific script; she was rewarded for sticking to that script and the rest is history. It would run in the family after all.

(We’re going with ‘Zuko and Azula have AtlA-universe special autism that works differently from our-universe autism and just skips several generations as a time or jumps around family trees randomly’ because this-universe autism is generally inherited by the father and we don’t want to be like ‘the genocidal Fire Lords are autistic uwu’ okay.)

#marghe watches atla #atla

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hoothalcyon · 4 years ago

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Care to spill about your newest oc if you’ve got one?

i don’t make oc’s that often so i can’t remember who my newest one is, but i’ll tell you about my favourite oc, espa!

espa is my skywing/earthblood oc, although their design is more skywing than earthblood :3 they’re non binary and aromantic asexual! they’re 24 yrs old, autistic, and are in a queerplatonic partnership with ram (the moonshadow assassin)! they’re also roommates with aaravos.

they’re more of a “just for fun” character than a “plays a part in a big story” kind of character, but I prefer it that way. espa is so special to me and they don’t need to have a whole arc for me to love them so much.

espa has a really bright personality and they’re down to befriend anyone! their gentle nature is hard to resist, and their competitive and energetic side is a fun complement to this. their wings are rounder than the other skywings we’ve seen in the show--they have elliptical wings that are made for short bursts of flight! they use this as a stim when they’re excited.

as I said, espa is autistic! as an autistic person i knew i wanted to make an oc who’s neurodivergent in (one of) the same way(s) I am, and it’s proved to be a great experience. i find comfort and happiness in giving espa some of the experiences and traits I have that are special to my neurodivergence.

art by @sufferingsouparts :)

#my posts #espa is my baby #espa

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sithqet · 4 years ago

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KOTOR Era

AWell, there’s the Exile and Revan, so might as well introduce them first but then I go off on a tangent.

Xerie Kolb/Revan

I’m going with the Memoryless!Revan image because, uh, they wear a mask most of the time anyways when they know who they are. Yeah, that’s the explanation I’m going with. This is Xerie, an :3 gremlin motherfucker, and so is Revan. The chaos in this form of this is more benevolent but they’re still. A Lot. A theatrical, chaotic, over-the-top presence.

Alexin Siladi/The Jedi Exile

Also known as Lex the Ex. She is also a :3 motherfucker but to a lesser extent because I actually think it’s impossible to match Revan’s chaos levels. Lex is the love of my life, the stars to my sky, my everything <3. She has a lot of issues she’s working through, as the Jedi Exile (you know how it is), aaaand she’s not. sure how to feel about Revan atm. She’ll get back to you on that. She is trying to be a kinder person tho so I’ll give her that <3

~And now for MY bastards~

Darth Eitqet/Keth Balgri

There’s an icon of them without the mask too but uh you’re not getting it. It’s not what they’d want. Eitqet is a Jedi-Turned-Sith near the end of the Mandalorian wars, but not for that reason (cough cough). They just. Were going through some stuff and ended up being taken advantage of by a manipulative motherfucker who was like “yeah, teenage angst. can use that to make a good sith.” and then he did and Eitqet has a lot of trauma from it tbh. They had a boyfriend named Isifel Balgri who was a soldier who worked for them and, uh, fucking died. But he had a little sister, Teelyn, who Eitqet secretly sent money to because Force forbid anyone know they care about someone. After they step away from the Sith, and their Sith persona, they take the name Keth Balgri because they’re trans and didn’t want their deadname or any association with it so just picked a name they thought was cool and got Teelyn’s permission to have her dead brother’s last name.

Also I call Keth redeemed!Eitqet a lot but they’re not lightside. Well, they are but they aren’t. They kinda swing back and forth depending on the day and who’s supervising. They are trying though lmao.

OH RIGHT PLOT they are looking for pieces of an ancient artifact called “The Puzzle” but Ceres has the map to the pieces and so they reluctantly travel with her. Ceres lets them travel with her because she can’t get through the Sith temples without a Dark Side Force user.

Ceres Beatrix

A Jedi who’s trying to find pieces of an ancient artifact called “The Puzzle” for... hm, reasons ;-) (I know them but it’s spoilers lmao) while trying to keep her chaotic crew of two children and a Sith Lord under control. She is a very sweet and kind healer who happens to be a sarcastic bastard who swears like a trucker. She’s also dogshit at fighting, unfortunately for her.

Mihya Endan

Baby Nautolan padawan c:. She’s Ceres’, like, 13 year old padawan who is just adorable tbh. When she was, like, 9, before she became Ceres’ padawan, she rescued Ceres from underwater assassins after having a Force Vision of them attacking her and Ceres was like “Hmm...”

She’s autistic (all of my characters are autistic coded tbh, and everyone in this era is especially autistic coded because GDI I want representation) and her special interest is animals? Like, you could go to any planet, point at any animal, and go “Hey, Mihya, what’s that?” and as long as it had been discovered before she could and would tell you all about it. This is also very helpful because she wants to make friends with any animal she sees, and does. Like, don’t get me wrong, it’s because she’s Force sensitive but there are very few animals she can’t get along with.

Also there’s a running gag of not being allowed to curse. She really wants to curse and Ceres is a fucking hypocrite.

Oh, she’s also the, like, great great aunt of my Hero of Tython Umeka Endan.

Teelyn Balgri

Another baby. She is Isifel’s 13 year old little sister who is barely scraping by in an apartment on Nar Shaddaa because Eitqet’s “hey i’m sorry your brother died under my command also i was in love with him :/” checks just cover the rent, basically. This gal has a lot of burden on her. Anyways, one day, when Eitqet & co. are on Nar Shaddaa, she ends up pissing off the Exchange who were going to hurt and/or kill her and Eitqet saved her ass but since they killed some Exchange folks it wasn’t, uh, safe for her to stay there, so this extremely normal teen girl just ends up being brought along for a Space Wizard Adventure. Also, she is the only one who can tell Eitqet what to do (and they voluntarily listen).

Isifel Balgri

Teelyn’s older brother, and Eitqet’s lover. He was a soldier who worked for Eitqet aaaand he died. Whoops. He was the only person Eitqet trusted. Shit sucks, man.

Darth Nos

Eitqet’s Sith Master. A manipulative prick who thinks he’s the shit. He’s not actually that cool but he did invent a Force technique and then used it on Eitqet, which still causes them issues to this day. Eitqet killed him for that, though. And because they thought he was going to kill him but that’s beside the point. Anyways, he’s bastard and very bad.

Segai Oake

The ancestor of Barsen’thor Tharril Oake :-)

Eitqet’s Jedi master. Eventually, like 10 years after Eitqet left the Jedi, Oake found them and confronted them and it, uh, didn’t go well for her. There was a big fight: Ceres and Oake vs Eitqet but Ceres was never good at fighting and Oake was unprepared and.... she, uh, died. Eitqet killed her. Yeah. Their worst moment, tbh.

Aria

Aria’s existence is a huuuuge spoiler for the end of the story. Aria is a talented Sith sorceress, but she has always been unable to limit her power. Because of this, when she was 6 years old, she accidentally orphaned herself. She spent the rest of her childhood and early teens trying and failing to learn to control her power, but when she got older, some Sith lords discovered the power she held and used her as a weapon of mass destruction. It quickly became apparent that abuse of Aria's powers led to her deteriorating health, which already had never been great, and that if she pushed herself too far she could put herself in serious danger. Her Sith masters didn't care, though, only caring about exploiting her power, only barely stopping short of killing her each time and eventually Aria had had enough, turning her power on them instead. She continued to work for the Sith Empire, and work to the same limits, but she always knew when she felt safe to stop and allowed herself rest in between bouts of exertion. Eventually, she was granted the title of Sith Lord and works to further the Empire's interests.

Doesn't seem to take anything seriously (she does, but she does not show it), likes to make jokes, tease people, and generally stir up trouble between people. She can be very annoying, and if she finds someone whose presence she enjoys she will cling to them.

She's very sadistic and enjoys hurting people, especially people who have hurt her.

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