#can’t say im surprised-💛

[smutinlove]

WAIT WAIT THAT COLLEGE DICK GRAYSON ANON IS GENIUS

I gotta know about his dynamics with a snarky and smart reader who can keep up with his attitude (but maybe can’t keep up with him in bed..)

LOVE YOUR FICS BTW!! 💛💛

ngl i probably couldn't keep up with him in bed. dick is wild (fem reader btw)

yall are spoiling me <3

lets do it to your fav song

•ugh, we all know that college dick grayson is both wild and snarky. but meeting a person that can match his snark makes him FERAL.

•i swear to god an average conversation with this hot ass man will end with him running his hands down your body, teasing you relentlessly.

•if you fight/ argue with this man, just know that he will do EVERYTHING to get in your pants.

•this man majors in bigassology. he is freaky.

•with your witty and snarky comebacks, dick would be surprised that you can barely keep up with him when he's pounding into you relentlessly.

•his fingernails are digging into your waist, your hands are pinned above your head and he is just going at it while you're whimpering and moaning, feeling dazed.

•and dick's like "what's wrong, love? i thought you could handle all this dick." AHHHH IM GOING FERAL. he'd definitely say that.

•and omg when his eating you out, he cannot stop. he eats you out for both his and your pleasure. the "dick im soo tired" doesn't work on him. he's done when he says he's done. he'll purposefully shove his fingers in your mouth or start kneading your ass.

•on the days he's frustrated, he'll tease and make fun of you. just a bit, of course. "aw, baby, 'thought you were a good girl. don't worry, love, you can handle it." ugh he talks you through it too.

ugh i need him in all ways. i need to find me a man that'll take care of me 'cause im so tired of taking care of everyone. oh wait... men like dick don't exist :(

[papercorgiworld]

With you

About Mattheo, Enzo and Theo

You are depressed and struggling to talk about it, but your boyfriend notices something isn’t right and offers you comfort. 

Struggles take many forms and I've had my share, but I've never been depressed. So I hope I did this right and with respect to those who’re going through or went through that struggle. However, as a writer I want to bring words to all things scary and difficult so we might find comfort. So I hope our sweet Slytherins bring you exactly that: comfort. 💛 Sending you all a lot of love!

Warning: depressed reader, but hopeful/sweet ending

– The request –

Hi bestie, im kinda in a v angsty mood and I was wondering if I could request something for Mattheo, Enzo, and Theo (my favorite boys 🥰) having a significant other who has depression and how they’d react and be there for them please?

Also, please make sure you’re taking care of yourself and drinking enough water 💞

– The writing –

Mattheo: I’ll sit with you.

Mattheo stared at you as you flipped through the pages of your book, not managing to focus on reading it, but not putting it away either. He had noticed something, but he had no clue what it was. Lately you just seemed so absent? You smiled and laughed like normal, but it faded so quickly and it saddened Mattheo. “Can I ask you something?” His soft voice makes you look with intrigued eyes. “When Pansy asked how you were earlier and you smiled and said ‘yeah, fine’ were you? Are you… alright?” His question for an honest and real answer catches you off guard and forces you to think about something you had been wondering about yourself. 

“I don’t know.” You pause and there’s a heavy silence. “I don’t feel alright... Like, I’m sad, but not like sad sad more like I’m a dim light that can’t shine.” You explain. You’re surprised you finally manage to put words to the struggle that had slowly taken over your every day.

Mattheo moves closer to you, seeing your pain and wanting to fix it. "We'll find a way to fix it." Suddenly, finally the sobs fall. "Am I broken?" You ask in response to his words. A hurt look shoots through his face. "NO! You're not broken. That's not what I meant." Your tears keep on falling and the agonising sadness you've felt fills the room. Mattheo's heart squeezes in pain, he can almost physically feel your emotional pain. "You're not broken... far from it... and maybe that's the problem." You look up at Mattheo, eyes blurry with tears. "Let yourself fall apart for once. Break just for a moment, let everyone take care of you instead of you taking care of everyone else." Your chest heaves as your tears fall uncontrollably. "I can't break. I can't feel it all. It's too much. It numbs me." Mattheo wraps his arms around you and you curl up into a ball. “I love you.” He whispers as tears continue to roll down your cheeks. 

“I can’t do this anymore. I feel like there’s no light, no air or no life in me.” You manage to confess and he just squeezes you. His eyes get watery as he feels so pained, hearing you say those words breaks him as much as it relieves him to know that at least you’re not hiding it anymore. “It’s like no matter how hard I try I can’t be happy anymore.” You sob and move away from your boyfriend to dry your tears with your sleeve. Mattheo watches you for a second, giving you some space and keeping himself from holding you until all is fine again, until all pain is gone. He knows very well that he can’t magically cure the hurt you feel, he can’t save you or even know what you’re going through. He struggles to find the right words to comfort you. 

“I’m sorry.” You whisper, hating the weight you put on him, feeling like instead of feeling down you’re now also spreading misery, but over Mattheo’s dead body that he’ll let you believe that. He cups your cheeks and brings his face close to yours. “Whatever you’re feeling or not feeling, fear, pain, nothing… talk to me or just come to me and sit with me. Just promise me that whatever struggle you’re going through you’ll fight and search for life in all its bright colours. And that when you need someone you’ll come to me, you’ll yell at me until I see you because I’ll do anything for you! Promise?” You nod gently and Mattheo smiles so brightly that his happiness touches you and makes you sob again. 

“Love, is there anything I can do for you in this moment?” You meet your boyfriend’s eyes and let yourself drown in them for a few seconds. “Sit with me?” You whisper. “I’ll sit with you.” He simply and calmly states, like your request wasn’t that weird at all. He gives you a sweet kiss on your forehead and you both sit in silence, in peace and comfort.

Enzo: I’ll walk with you

Enzo is the light, not just in your life but in every room he enters. Recently you felt like you were bringing him down with your silence, absence and general sadness. You felt like you couldn’t keep up with his energised spirit and therefore weren’t worthy of being around him… or anyone for that matter. So you sought solitude, at least then you didn’t have to deal with the suffocating guilt of ruining everyone else’s joy. However, what you didn’t see was that everytime you excused yourself and left, your boyfriend lost the only light in the room that mattered to him. He had noticed something was going on with you but trusted you would talk when ready. 

After weeks of watching you exclude yourself from every occasion, he felt like you were slipping away from him and it terrified him. Not feeling sophisticated enough to come up with the right words Enzo trusted his instincts and did what he did best, show you an abundance of love. 

When he noticed you had a slow and silent morning. He had your favourite drink in your comfort mug ready for you at breakfast. That half sad, half sleepy smile was worth it.

When you forced a smile and it looked like you were carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders he would bring your favourite snacks by your room. 

When he saw your eyes get teary as you watched the stars he offered you a piece of chocolate.

It was like he was always stocked up with anything that could cheer you up.

You, Pansy and Enzo were walking through the hallways bantering. You laughed at her sassy comments and added some witty remarks, earning a wicked smile from your boyfriend. I love her sooo much! When Pansy announces that she’s got places to be and people to bother, Enzo sees you relax and as soon as Pansy leaves your face falls. You look less happy, but you also look more real to Enzo. That’s when it hit him. Now that Pansy is gone you're not pretending anymore. You are always so brave, being the joyful one for everyone else. What’s going on in that overcomplicated brain of yours? 

A soft sigh escapes your lips, but you immediately cover it up with a smile, but Enzo sees right through it. He opens his bag and searches for something and you narrow your eyes as he makes some goofy sounds. “Almost.” He says, his tongue sticking out a little as his arm fully disappears in his bag. “Got it!” He suddenly pulls out a small plastic bag with sweets and raises his eyebrows giving you a smirky half smile. “For my sweet lady.” He says opening it and offering it to you. You shake your head and chuckle softly, while letting your eyes roll over all the different candies in the bag. “Hey Enz, why do you always have snacks or sweets or random delicious things with you? You’re turning into that trolly lady on the Hogwarts express.” Enzo laughs at that and you reach for a particular coloury one, but then Enzo falls silent for a second. “You want to know the truth?” You frown and nod, surprised that there’s some serious reason behind the seemingly innocent tasty foods. 

“It’s my stupid attempt to make you happy, because I know you’re not… happy.” You’re terrified at what he just said, revealed, about you. I’m not happy…. You knew it was true but it still hurt to hear your boyfriend say it out loud. Your eyes get teary and part of you just wants to run away. “I don’t know what you’re feeling and you don’t have to explain it to me. Just let me try and make you happy or at least make your day a little less sad.” Enzo offers you the candies again, but this time your heart sinks and your stomach turns. “Is there anything I can do?” Enzo whispers and you just shake your head no. “Please?” Enzo begs just above a whisper. You stare in front of you for a moment. “Will you just walk with me?” You finally say and you lazily move your arm in the direction of your common room. A soft chuckle leaves Enzo’s lips and he slings an arm around you. “I’ll walk with you.” You walk together and in silence and that silent walk gives you hope for happiness. 

Theo: I’ll go with you

Your grades had slipped up, but what your professors were mostly worried about was your lack of effort. So it was Dumbledore himself that had ordered you to go talk to a professional. The idea had been bothering you for days as the appointment approached. You were nervously fidgeting with your fingers and Pansy slapped her book on the table in front of you. “Just don’t go. What are they gonna do about it? Your grades don’t have to be perfect and talking to someone sure isn’t going to get you studying again. They should just make these subjects less boring.” Your boyfriend snorted and smiled reassuringly at you. Yeah, how was talking gonna help? You laugh with Pansy and shake off your worries like you always do when you’re with other people. 

However, the day of the appointment you were lost. You didn’t want to go. You didn’t want to talk. Just thinking about what you would say almost made you cry, break down, throw up… you weren’t ready for this, but you were also in need of someone who could reassure you and help you, give you hope that this agonising feeling wouldn’t last. You didn’t know what to do but you also knew that you weren’t in a good place and needed to do something. Theo had just finished quidditch practice and decided to check up on you instead of hang with his friends. He really didn’t put any thought into it, but when he swung open your door and found your crying and pacing around he was grateful that he had decided to come see you. “What-?” He takes a step towards you and he looks so concerned that you instantly wipe away your tears. “I’m fine. Just stressed.” Your shaky body betrays you and Theodore calmly watches you, not saying a thing, just waiting for you to say something. 

You don’t say anything and feel a sudden fatigue fall over you, so you sit down on your bed. Theodore follows you and gently sits down next to you. When he tries to wrap an arm around you you move away to lay down on your bed. “Is it me?” He asks and you shake no, but don’t meet his gaze. “Is it someone I can punch?” Is his next question and normally this would earn at least a faint smile, but nothing. “Is it-” You can’t bear it anymore, his painfully worried voice hurts you and you were already hurting enough. “No. No. It’s no one. It’s nothing. Everything is fine. The world isn’t falling apart. Okay.” You sound agitated, but Theo isn’t shook by your tone at all. “Sure, looks like my world is falling apart.” He states, staring intently at you. Finally you meet his eyes. “I think I should talk to someone.” You whisper utterly terrified of your own words and of your boyfriend's reaction. “Good thing Dumblredore set up this meeting right?” You offer Theo a weak smile. “I’m afraid to go.” You whisper and Theo thinks over your words, taking them very seriously. “Want me to go with you? I’ll go as far as you need me to go.” You feel fresh air rush through your lungs. With one simple suggestion he had offered you so much, but immediately worries take root in your mind. “You don’t have to. I don’t want to bother you with stuff like this.” Theo lets out a soft laugh and gets up from your bed. “You say that like I have better things to do than be with my girlfriend. Come on, get up. I’ll go with you.” You watch him as you still lay on your bed. “I love you.” You whisper as you summon all your strength and get up. 

[smoshyourheadin]

Maybe u could do a Spencer besties to lovers? Like they've known each other a long time yk

Thankssss no pressure if ur busy ofc <3

It’s Always Been You

cw: reader has a boyf who she breaks up w bc he���s an alchaholic!! don’t read if you aren’t comfortable, i’ll catch you another time ml 💛

a/n: EEK IM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG THANK YOU FOR BEING PATIENT ANON 🫶🫶💛💛 also im taking this as smosh spence not cm spence so feel free to re-request if you’d like <33 ps, ive written that he listens to pink floyd here so thats who syd barrett is if you don’t know :))

requests r open!!

///

pairing: spencer agnew x fem!reader

florida, 2002

you and spencer were scurrying around in the freshly mown grass of his backyard, playing tag.

“you didn’t get me, you cheated!” you exclaim, ducking as he reaches out to get you again, tumbling to the floor.

“did too!” spencer retorts, his grazed knees dropping to the floor so he can lean over you. he meets your eyes, pulls a tongue, and hoists himself back up to run to his tyre swing.

all 11 years you’d known, you’d known them with spencer. your moms had been great friends since way before you were born, being in the same book club. or was it an art night? you didn’t exactly know, but you did know that because your moms were best friends, so were you and spencer.

as you sprung back up to your feet, your moms watched your antics through the kitchen window.

“whoever can swing the other the highest gets to have the last red popsicle!” he yelled as you ran over

“oh you’re so on!”

your hands gripped the tyre and you pushed like your life depended on it.

“y’know,” your mom said “one day, they’re going to end up together.”

his mom looked over at yours and smiled,

“i’d be surprised if they didnt honestly.”

los angeles, 2024

you walk through the door of your apartment, and you kick the door closed behind you. your bag slides off your shoulder, and you throw your keys onto the dresser next to the door. you only manage a long groan before flopping onto the couch.

“heya, charlie!” you scrunch your face up as you feel your dog’s cold, wet nose press against your cheek, as he gently wags his tail

“i missed you too boy, work was so tiring today.” you work at smosh with spencer, and have done for the past seven years after you left your job at another channel to join him. it was basically the best decision you’d ever made, every day filled with laughs; practically just a 24/7 hangout. you work with spencer on smosh games, but rarely ever go on camera, even if spencer’s there. you enjoy it anyway though.

you sit up and scratch behind his ears. he wiggles his body contently at your fondness. and then your stomach growls. it made sense, it was currently 6:43pm, and you last ate at noon, so you get up and drag yourself to make some mac n cheese.

as the pasta boils your phone starts ringing.

it’s james.

rubbing your hands over your face, you answer the dreaded call from your boyfriend james.

“heyyy~ sweetheart, y’doin okay? you were hic bein’ a bit of a bitch today, didnt answer my calls, what, you hate me or sumn?” he rambles, most of his words just slurring off.

“james, are you drinking again?” your voice is agitated, hearing the chattering and the low bass of a bar in the background.

you know he has a problem, and you’ve tried to get him to stop so many times. but you just can’t. he just won’t take your help.

“wha- i mean- well- no- but um- well y’r just gonna be mad at me like y’allways are” he stammers, not wanting to tell you the truth.

“no, i’m done with this. you say all this to me when you’re drunk, and then act like everything is fine! i’m sick of it! you spend so much time at the bar, and its the only place we ever go on dates, and i just end up babysitting you! so yeah i am mad! but for the last time! fuck you james.”

you hang up.

you start to tear up, the knot in your chest tight as your emotions come rushing to you, face heating up as tears begin to fall. the hissing of something behind you snaps you out of it.

“shit!” you rush over to to your stove, where the water from your pasta spills over the sides, the flames licking at the bottom of the pan.you take it off the heat and turn it off. it looks done anyway. you add some butter, and, of course, cheese. stirring gently, you sob.

james was so nice to you, always showering you with gifts and praise and love. but it was all for nothing. he just didn’t love you like he loved drinking in the end.

pouring the mac n cheese into a bowl, you call spencer.

“hey lemon! how’s my favourite person this fine evening?” you smile at the nickname.

florida, 2007

“spencer, you’re a boy. why are you so complicated? i mean, its just annoying!” you walk into his bedroom after his mom let you in, clearly pissed off. being 16 isn’t fun, especially when boys you like are rude to you.

“what did he do?” spencer doesn’t look up from his computer, just slightly turn his head.

“he said that i must eat lemons because of how bitter i am. i mean come on!” you lie on his bed and watch him play runescape.

“lemon… hmph” he just smiles and continues whatever he was doing on his game.

“what? nothing to say? ugh! you suuuuuck!”

los angeles, 2024

“yeah, i mean, no. i broke up with james.” you sniffle, and eat a forkfull of your food, elbows resting on the cold marble of the kitchen island.

“i mean- um- yeah thats horrible…” he says

“you’re allowed to celebrate, i know you hated him. and so did everyone. but still. im fragile right now!” you giggle through your gentle tears

“well, i mean, honestly? glad he’s gone. he sucked dude. not sure why you didn’t do it sooner. well, one positive to come of this, your pillows won’t stink of beer next time i nap at yours!” he replies, clearly happy for you.

“yeah,” you chuckle at the memory of spencer falling asleep on your bed, then completing his hair smelt like budweiser “that is true.”

“all seriousness though, are you okay?” his voice is genuine this time, filled with concern.

“no, not really. it’s just… different i guess. but, not much has changed y’know? like, it already felt like he wasn’t my boyfriend anymore…” you begin to ramble for at least 20 minutes, only to be met with the occasional ‘mhmn’ and ‘yeah’ from spencer. mid sentence, there’s a knock at your door.

“oh one sec, someone’s here.” you get up from your table and swing the door open to see a very sympathetic looking spencer, two target bags in his hands.

your jaw is on the floor. you were just crying to him over the phone, and he’d stayed whilst going out to get what you can only assume is things like sour patch kids and vanilla ice cream, which you could see at the top of the bag. your favourites.

“girls night?” he smirked and raised the bags at his sides.

all you can do is smile ear to ear, and wrap him in a tight hug. he leaned into you, basking in your sweet citrusy perfume.

“you’re my favourite, spencie.” you say into his shoulder.

as you both walk inside, charlie comes bounding over to spencer, his favourite person.

“who’s a good boy! charlie is!” spencer was now crouchedby your kitchen island, fussing over your dog as you walked to put on something more comfortable. you slid on some track pants and an old atari hoodie. walking back into your kitchen, spencer has unpacked the bags, and is creating his favourite conconction, The Agnew Sundae. basically the most sickeningly sweet ice cream ever. his dad made it for you both in the summer, and it consisted of:

vanilla ice cream

chocolate syrup

caramel sauce

whipped cream

sprinkles

mini marshmallows

chocolate chips

m&ms

and some crushed oreos to finish.

god, you know you’re going to regret this later, but boy was it a good way to cheer you up.

also strewn on the counter was his switch and copy of animal crossing, a few of his dvd’s for you to watch, and his mom’s chocolate chip cookies.

“spencer, how on earth did you get these? your mom lives across the country!” you hold up the baggie, and raise an eyebrow.

he looks up from his ice cream assembly station, and smirks.

“a magician never- ow!”

you cut him off by lightly jabbing his arm

“okay okay, she visited not to long ago - when she took you to the mall? and she gave me these to freeze and keep for an important event. i think she’d agree this is important.” you cant help but smile at his remark. you missed you moms.

“i’ll have to ring her later to thank her.” you say.

the night goes on, and you and spencer sit on the couch under a blanket watching barbie princess charm school. because what else are you going to watch?

as the movie goes on, and the effects of the agnew sundae kick in; you were dozing off on his shoulder. towards the end of the movie, so does he. he drifts off, comforted by your soft hair occasionally brushing against his face.

you stir awake, the sun beaming into your eyes through your semi-open blinds, and you’re hit by a wave of memory. everything that happened last night comes flooding back.

james’ call.

spencer’s call.

spencer showing up for you.

at the latter, you smile slightly. you prop yourself up on the sofa, and notice the absence of spencer’s warmth by you. frowning slightly, you walk into the kitchen.

“morning sleepyhead” his sweet voice rings through the room

“hey. i thought you’d’ve gone home”

“no, im not that mean! who do you take me for?” he retorts, his attention turning back to the pancakes on the stove.

“pancakes? what time is it?” you come up behind him, putting your chin on his shoulder.

“yeah, and it’s about 10:30.” he leant his head on yours, flipping one. you had to admit, they look pretty good.

“10:30!?” you lift you head in surprise, looking at your phone “shouldn’t we be in work?”

“nope, i called us in sick. said my mom was having surgery. which she is, but i made it sound dramatic so we could stay off.” he looks at you, and smiles slightly.

“well, send her my love! i think i’ll go get dressed now.” he hummed, and you left the room.

opening your closet, you pick out a yellow baggy t-shirt and some grey sweatpants. you pull on some fluffy socks, and slip on a zip up hoodie. walking back out into the living room, spencer walks in with two plates piled high with pancakes, drenched in syrup and strawberries

“so,” you say, a fork full of pancakes in your mouth. “whats the plan for today?”

he looks over at you, and shrugs slightly. “not sure, we could go to the book store you like?”

“ah, you know the way to a girl’s heart“ you put a hand over your chest and giggle a bit.

a few hours later, you walk into the store, door creaking just a bit as a small brass bell chimes overhead. the air is filled with a comforting mix of old paper, leather bindings, and a hint of freshly brewed coffee from the corner cafe that you and spencer like to get tea from. you breathe it in deeply, a sense of calm washing over you. as you walk over the creaky wooden floorboards beneath you, soft warm light filters down from antique lamps, and cast a gentle glow over the rows of books. you ghost your fingertips over the cloth spines while the quiet murmur of whispered conversations and the occasional rustling of pages create a soothing background noise, almost like a lullaby. through spencer’s airpods, syd barrett serenades you both, and his voice blends seamlessly with the ambiance of the store.

“anything good today lemon?” spencer says as he shimmies up next to you in the aisle of towering book shelves, his voice like honey rolling off his tongue. his hair was unruly as always, but he looked so pretty in this light. his face was littered with freckles that you wish you could kiss. he’s smiling at you, and it snaps you back to reality, and reminds you of the fact you’re staring at him

“uh, yeah, i think i’ll get this one” you smile back, holding up a copy of memoirs of a geisha by arthur golden

“cool, shayne likes that one i think. but he likes every book so…” he smiles at his own remark “um, you want me to grab our normal seats in the cafe while you pay for that?”

“yes, please!” you reply eagerly, smiling as he walked off.

you walk up to the cashier, an older lady who always gives you a bookmark.

“thank you m’darlin’, have a lovely day!”

“you too mrs bryson!” you reply, heading over to spencer who’s sat in some plush leather armchairs. as you sit in comfortable silence with him, time seems to slow down, and for a moment, it's just you, spencer, the books, and the comforting atmosphere of this charming bookstore.

“i got you your sweet tea.” he says, handing you a plastic cup filled with your favourite tea.

he remembered.

fuck.

you were in love with spencer agnew, and it took you him handing you your favourite tea to realise it.

“thanks spence.” you say, still grasping the feelings in your chest.

while you read you book and drink your tea, you feel your attention drifting to him. you can't help but glance up from the pages every now and then, watching him as he sits across from you, his focus on his own book. his fingers absently tracing the rim of his coffee mug, his brow furrowing as he reads. the way the sunlight filters through the small window, casting a warm glow across his hair, highlighting the subtle streaks of lighter brown among his dark curls. you find yourself smiling at the sight of him, wondering when these small, mundane moments began to mean so much to you. the bookstore is quiet, aside for the murmur of others reading or talking in hushed tones. yet, with spencer sitting just a few feet away, the world feels like it's faded to the background. it's just you and him, sharing this space, this moment. you watch the way his lips move slightly as he reads, how he occasionally tilts his head in concentration, and the way his eyes light up when he finds something particularly interesting. as he looks up and catches you watching him, you feel a rush of warmth spreading through your chest. he smiles at you, a slow, easy smile that makes your heart skip a beat. he raises an eyebrow, and you quickly look back down at your book, feeling your cheeks flush. but you can't help it; your gaze finds its way back to him, like he's the most interesting story in the room. he seems to notice the shift in the air between you. he closes his book and leans forward slightly, his elbows resting on his knees.

“everything okay?” he asks, his voice gentle, his eyes filled with genuine curiosity.

“yeah,” you reply, trying to sound casual, though your heart is racing. “just... glad to be here with you.”

he nods, his smile growing a bit wider. “me too.”

as he settles back into his chair, you realize that this simple exchange has changed something. the air feels lighter, the connection between you stronger. you may have come here to read and relax, but now, sitting across from spencer, you know you've found something else entirely - something you never want to let go of.

as you leave the store, you’re panicking slightly as you realise you don’t know what to do. so instead you make up an excuse.

“i forgot my keys ," you blurt out, looking back at the bookstore. it's a thin excuse, but spencer doesn't seem to notice. he simply nods, a hint of concern in his eyes.

"do you want me to wait for you?" he asks, already reaching for his phone to check the time.

"no, it's fine," you reply quickly. "you can go ahead. i’ll just be a minute."

spencer seems reluctant to leave, but he nods, offering a warm smile before stepping out onto the street. you watch him walk away, his figure blending into the crowd as he heads toward the main crossing. your heart sinks a little as he disappears from view, and you take a deep breath, trying to steady your racing pulse.

the bookstore feels different now. the warm glow and soft murmurs are still there, but without spencer, it's like the color has faded a bit. you stand by the door, uncertain of what to do next. you could go back outside, catch up with him, and just say it. tell him how you feel. but the words seem stuck in your throat, and the thought of laying your feelings bare feels like too much, too soon.

you step back inside, pretending to look for something you might have left behind. the stacks of books seem to stretch endlessly in front of you, a maze of comforting distractions. you wander through the aisles, hoping to calm your racing thoughts, but all you can think about is spencer - his smile, the way his eyes crinkle when he laughs, the warmth of his voice.

eventually, you find a quiet corner and sit down, closing your eyes for a moment. you know you have to do something. you can't just let him walk away without knowing how much he means to you. but the fear of rejection, of changing everything, feels overwhelming.

you realize you need time to sort through your feelings, to figure out the best way to approach this. with a heavy heart, you decide to make your way home, hoping the familiar surroundings will bring clarity. as you step out onto the street, the cool breeze brushes against your skin, and you take a deep breath, trying to calm the storm of emotions raging inside you.

on the journey home, you replay the moments with spencer in your mind, each one a bittersweet reminder of how much he means to you. you know you can't keep hiding your feelings, but you also know you need to approach this with caution. as you unlock the door to your apartment, you make a silent promise to yourself—to take the time you need, to listen to your heart, and to find the courage to follow where it leads, even if it means risking everything for him.

when you get home, spencer tries calling you as he paces around his bedroom, his phone pressed against his ear. the ringing continues, but there's no answer. he frowns, feeling an uneasy twist in his stomach. maybe you're still in the bookstore. maybe your phone is on silent, or maybe you're just busy. he tells himself there's a reasonable explanation, but the doubt lingers.

as he walks to his kitchen, he dials again. this time, the call goes straight to voicemail. his instincts tell him something isn't right. the keys excuse felt odd, and your hurried departure only amplifies his worry. he takes a moment to think, then leaves his apartment, jumps in his car, starts the engine, and drives toward your apartment.

the streets pass in a blur as he navigates through the evening traffic, his mind racing with possibilities. he finds a parking spot near your building and heads to your door. the hallway is quiet, save for the distant sound of a tv from a neighbouring apartment. he takes a deep breath and knocks.

nothing.

he knocks again, this time a little louder. the knot in his stomach tightens. what if something's wrong? what if he's too late? he knocks a third time, and this time, he hears a faint rustling from inside. the door opens slowly, and there you are, standing in the doorway with a look of surprise and confusion.

"spence?" you say, blinking at him as if he's the last person you expected to see.

"i - i was worried," he stammers, rubbing the back of his neck. "you didn't answer your phone, and i - i didn't know if you were okay."

you tilt your head, trying to process why he's here. his eyes search yours, and you can tell he's anxious, almost desperate to explain himself. "i'm fine," you say, "just had some stuff to think about."

he nods, but you can see he's not entirely convinced. there's something else, something deeper. he takes a step back, as if he's about to leave, but then he hesitates. "i - i have to tell you something," he blurts out, his words coming out in a rush. "i like you. like a lot. like i think i love you? and i know it might be weird, and i don't want to mess things up, but I just had to say it - because i couldn't keep it to myself anymore.”

he looks at you, his eyes full of emotions you can't quite decipher yet. you nod, urging him to continue, even though your own heart is racing. there's something in his gaze that makes you realize this isn't just any confession - this is something that's been building for a long time.

"i've liked you since we were kids," he says, almost breathlessly. "i mean, you were always the coolest person I knew. you didn't care what anyone else thought. you were smart and funny and just... so genuinely kind. i remember when we used to ride our bikes around the neighbourhood, and you'd always be the first one to try something new. like, remember when you climbed that huge tree in mr lawson's yard just because you wanted to see the view from the top? i thought you were so brave."

he chuckles softly, his gaze softening as he reminisces. "and then, when we got older, you were always there for me. when my parents split up, and i felt like everything was falling apart, you were the one who came over with a pizza and just listened. you didn't try to fix it; you just let me talk. that's something i've always loved about you. you're a great listener, and you care about people. like, really care."

he shifts his weight from one foot to the other, his eyes locking with yours. "it's not just that, though. It's the little things, too. the way you laugh at the dumbest of angela’s jokes, the way you get excited about your favorite books, and how you always know the right thing to say when I'm feeling down. you make everything feel... lighter, you know? like, even when things are tough, you find a way to make it better."

spencer pauses, his voice growing more earnest. "so yeah, i've um, been holding onto this for a while, and i just, couldn't keep pretending that i didn't feel this way. i like you - a lot. and i don't know if you feel the same way, but i just couldn't not tell you anymore."

he takes a step back, the tension in his shoulders indicating that he's prepared to leave if needed. "i don't want to make things weird between us. if you don't feel the same, that's okay. i just had to say it, because you're the best thing in my life, and i can't keep acting like you aren't."

his confession takes you by surprise, but as he speaks, you feel a surge of warmth in your chest. the words you were struggling to say are suddenly so clear, so obvious. you watch as he starts to turn away, his shoulders slumping in resignation. before he can take another step, you grab his arm and pull him back, your lips pressing against his in a gentle, yet desperate kiss.

he freezes for a moment, stunned by your sudden action, then his arms wrap around you, pulling you close. when you finally break the kiss, you look into his eyes, and there's no doubt, no hesitation.

"it's always been you," you whisper, your voice soft but sure. "you're my person, spencer."

he hugs you tightly, his grip firm and comforting, as if he's afraid you'll disappear if he lets go. you rest your head on his shoulder, feeling the steady beat of his heart against your cheek. it's a perfect moment, one that feels like the beginning of something new, something beautiful.

and as you stand there in each other's embrace, you know that everything's going to be okay, because you have each other. and that's all that matters.

[soleilnomoon]

nsfw where y/n accidentally eats an aphrodisiac but zoro doesn't understand what's going on and he just wants to train in peace (but in the end he gives in please)

ahh so sorry this took forever, ty ty for your patience 😊💛 i do love disrupting zoro's peace with nonsense & i had fun writing it; i hope you enjoy <3

2.7k words, fem reader (no pronouns), nsfw, 18+, mdni; a bit of angst, there's some fluff if you pretend that zoro not choking her is fluff, smut shenanigans; feat. zoro being a lil mean (he's a petty bitch when he's jealous im sry), reader being dense and pouty and ridiculous, a wild sanji appears! other cute things like: pussy slapping, oral (f receiving), fingering, yk the vibes.

the last thing you remember, is a small, obnoxious voice in the back of your head saying don’t do it; but the thing is, once you’re told not to do something, you feel that much more inclined to see it all through. it’s sound logic in your opinion, one that you employ whenever — and, more importantly, wherever — you can.

except this time around, you fuck up in a slightly irreparable way.

from an outdated catalog, you order what you assume is an herbal tea to help with sea sickness among other various ailments. and while you can’t exactly pronounce or read most of the names on the ingredients list, you assume that it will be remotely harmless. it’s tea, after all. so, imagine your surprise — once the water is boiled, once the bag has been steeped, once the hot liquid settles in your stomach — when it feels like everything has stared to slow down around you. something shifts inside of you, suddenly it feels as if your body’s been transformed into a gelatinous thing, your organs bouncing against one another, your legs nearly give out when you try to stand up.

naturally, you feel a little off.

it starts again with a small itch underneath your skin; no matter what you do, no matter where you scratch, the itch remains — spreading all over your body, making you wholly too sensitive to touch, which is a fucking shame as your crew mates are always touching one another in some way. you’re not exempt from that, although today you do your best to keep your distance, finding it rather difficult to let anyone’s touch linger for longer than a moment. in the middle of the day, during your quest to avoid your crew mates, you run into sanji — or collide more like — and he reaches out to steady you, as if it’s a regular occurrence for him. which, it is, but that’s not the damn point right now.

you’re in the middle of a crisis.

he grips your shoulders firmly, lips set into a straight line as he checks you over; once he’s satisfied, his playfulness comes back. “where are you running off to?” you choke out a small laugh, one that makes you look less panicked and more like your usual self. he has absolutely no idea that you really do need to run away from him, and you maybe feel a little bad that you’re lying to him — however, in your defense, you’re certain that if you don’t find a way to alleviate that bothersome ache in between your legs, you’ll riot. now, normally, that extreme way of thinking would be cause for concern, but given the circumstances, you’ll forgive yourself for this transgression.

sanji raises a brow at the way you can’t seem to stop fidgeting, your snap your fingers quietly, almost as if you’re trying to ground yourself. he’s unsure why you would feel the need to do that, but he doesn’t press the issue. “i haven’t seen you all day.” his words are harmless, you know that, but he carefully drizzles them onto your skin — slow-moving, honeyed, potentially life-ruining — and they bring an inescapable heat to your body. your self-preservation is practically nonexistent right now; and you know that if you’re not careful, you’ll cross a line and may not survive in the end.

you’re sure this must be some punishment for a crime you committed in a previous life, because it makes absolutely no sense why his hands sliding down your arms makes you want to—

“nowhere,” you blurt out suddenly, cheeks deeply flushed as you shimmy out of his hold, “i’ll… talk to you later.” your words are rushed and jumbled, but you’re beyond caring; you work your legs as fast as you can, hoping sanji won’t think to follow after you. if you had better sense, you wouldn’t have drank the tea without properly investigating it first; but you’re foolish, so very, damn foolish.

something hot rolls over you, making it difficult to think straight; without realizing, your feet take you to the very last person you should be around right now.

everyone knows that when zoro’s training, he’s not to be bothered unless absolutely necessary; yet there you are, disrupting his focus. typical. you pop up behind him breathless, throat dry, chest heaving as if you can’t quite catch your breath — everything about you is clumsy and loud, so he sighs when he turns around to face you.

“what is it?”

you blink slowly and absently lick your lips; his question lingers in the air and circles around you — a solemn vulture, ready to tend to the dead. while normally a lush, vibrant place, your mind goes blank. zoro narrows his eye at you and your newfound silence. it’s suspicious, really — you’re a chatterbox, one that he constantly tells to shut up, albeit this is mostly done out of affection from him — so he’s unsure if this is a trick on your part, but he refuses to participate.

“make it quick, i need to get back to training.”

despite knowing that he really does want you to hurry up, you can’t bring yourself to say anything. not out of fear of upsetting him, but because you’re not sure how he’d react to you telling him the truth. clenching your teeth, you consider your options, rocking a bit on your heels as you look around; again, he thinks you’re being strange and refuses to beat around the damn bush any longer.

“spit it out,” he says gruffly, annoyance buzzing around inside of him. he’s trying to remain as patient as he can, but you’re taking too long and if he lets you have your way, he’ll be standing there all day waiting.

“okay, okay,” you squeak, voice lowering as if you’re afraid of someone hearing you, “there’s something wrong with me.” the words tumble out of your mouth faster than you can manage, making you stutter over them, further confusing the thick-skulled swordsman before you. his frown deepens, and he prompts you to repeat yourself. slowly.

it's his turn to blink at you stupidly. “why would you drink it without knowing what it would do—”

you let out a strangled noise, frustration piling onto your chest the more you talk about this. “i get it, i messed up, can you just help me out?” the flush hasn’t left your cheeks if anything it burns so badly that you refuse to keep eye contact. because the longer you stand near him, the more you struggle with keeping your hands to yourself; the longer he looks at you, the more you want him to see all of you. with a sigh, you explain all of the things that happened to you — in detail, since he insisted and you’re too wound up to fight him on it — which leads him to understand that the tea you drank contained an aphrodisiac of sorts.

why else would the idiot cook even seem remotely interesting to you if that wasn’t the case?

it’s not out of jealousy, he tells himself as he places his swords down carefully; but maybe a part of him likes that you came to him instead of anyone else. he refuses to give it a name and won’t think about this any harder than he already has; he has a feeling that if he lets it fester, it’ll turn him into a lovesick fool — like sanji — and there’s no coming back from that.

somewhere in between his sly smiles and teasing comments, zoro’s presses you against the wall, mouth every bit as sinful as it is disrespectful when he drops a playful kiss on your lips. he’s testing the waters — to see how much you can take before you implode; unfortunately, his experiment is short-lived, you’re already pulling him back, annoyed with his games. you almost tell him to fuck off, but you need him — and you refuse to keep on suffering like this by yourself. your lips are on his rather quickly, soft and eager, tongue flicking against his bottom lip before slipping inside of his mouth.

kissing zoro is a risky endeavor; it’s all-consuming, dizzying, and electrifying at the same damn time. if anyone were to ask you what year or century it was, you wouldn’t have an answer for them. not one that makes any sense, at least. when he slips a hand into your shorts, you turn into putty. your panties soaked, arousal clinging to your skin when he pulls the fabric aside. you should feel mortified at the startled cry you let out when he strokes down your slit, fingers thick and rough, hips rolling forward as you try to tell him to hurry it up. he chuckles at your impatience, which only makes him want to tease you more, but he understands that you’re in a precarious situation — one he’s set on solving right away.

“i know,” he says against your ear, goosebumps prancing along your arms when his fingers rub circles on your pussy, “don’t worry, i’ve got you.” you want to ask him what he means by that, but by the time the question forms in your head and travels to your mouth, zoro’s pulled off your shorts and panties before boldly thrusting his fingers inside of you. with trembling legs, you cling onto his shoulders, press your face against his chest as he thrusts his fingers in and out of your tight hole. the moan you let out is loud enough to rouse the dead —which only encourages zoro to pump his thick fingers faster. he enjoys the way you can’t stop whimpering, and the way that you squeeze around his fingers; that level of desperation arouses him, but he ignores the growing bulge in his pants to take care of you first.

something tells you to keep your voice down, but with how fast zoro’s fingers are fucking you, it’s damn near impossible. and when you place a hand over your mouth to silence yourself, he slaps your pussy in retaliation. you stare at him incredulously, stumbling over your words, hating the way your hips bucked from the force of the slap. zoro, in turn, gives you a dark look, one that fizzles out whatever smartass remark you were ready to give him.

you’re not sure what possesses you, but when he thrusts his fingers back inside of your pussy, thumb rubbing firm circles around your throbbing clit, your head spins, making you say something ridiculous. “s-sanji would’ve nev—” he swallows the rest of your words when he kisses you roughly, teeth tugging on your plump lip. his tongue is commanding, stroking yours with such familiarity that you have to remind yourself that this is real. the kiss is more sensual than necessary, making you forget your point altogether. he knows the only reason why you mentioned the cook is to rile him up, and while it did work, he refuses to let any it fuel his jealousy. he has things to do today, after all.

“if you wanted the damn cook so bad, why did you come to me?” his voice is gravelly and husky, a dangerous combination for you given your current state. you want to tell him that you don’t want sanji, that you want him, but you’re also quite childish and petty at the most inconvenient times. you know, you know, you know. you’ll work on it one day. possibly. he doesn’t expect an answer out of you, especially when he drags his tongue down the length of your neck, nipping and biting your soft skin. you know that once he’s through with you, you won’t be able to face the others for a while.

by the time he inserts a third finger, your skin is littered with dark red marks and his hand is coated in your slick arousal; it trickles slowly with some of your wetness spilling onto his wrist. and since he’s so damn chivalrous, he holds you steady as you thrash against him, hips bucking wildly as you moan his name loudly. you’d forgotten that you were committed to keeping quiet, but with zoro you tend to be louder than necessary. he loves it though; his smirk is proof enough. he pulls his fingers away, much to your disappointment; you pout, grab onto his arms, and ask him why. grinning slyly, he tells you to watch your mouth and kneels before you.

zoro grabs your leg and drapes it over his shoulder, his tongue running flat along your slit, giving your pussy a long lick before dipping inside. you thread your fingers through his short, messy hair, grab the strands roughly, moaning louder, breath coming out in shallow puffs as he devours your pussy. you’ve never known zoro to be a messy eater in general, but the way he messily slurps and licks, flicking his tongue against your clit hard, making you tense and shriek. you’re sure everyone’s heard you by now, but you’ve lost the capacity to care — not while zoro’s eating your pussy like it’s the only meal he’ll consume for a long time. he should probably ease up, and almost considers it until he remembers that you brought up sanji and what he wouldn’t or would do with you.

he slips a finger inside of your needy hole as his tongue circles around your clit. you know you won’t last longer at this rate — it’s a miracle you lasted this long anyway — but he starts sucking on your clit hard and you lose the remainder of your sanity. the orgasm claims most of your life, and your voice is incredibly hoarse by the end of it. zoro works you through the orgasm, finger pumping in and out swiftly, his tongue flicking your clit repeatedly, which only prolongs things. your wetness drips onto his chin, some of it landing on the floor. you’re so embarrassed by it all — by the shameless way you rode his face, by how needy he makes you feel without even trying — and you’d hide your face if zoro wasn’t so busy ruining your life.

“zoro,” you say softly, feeling weak but you still manage to yank on his hair hard enough to catch his attention. when he finally does pull back, he takes a breath and licks your arousal from his lips. he knows that sooner or later he’ll have to take care of his erection — it presses against the front of his pants painfully, and it takes everything in him to just walk away from you — but he’s not done training and he’s wasted enough time as is. you know you shouldn’t ask for more, but the desire to seek him out later grows stronger by the minute. you watch him for a moment, admire the broadness of his shoulders, the thickness of his arms, until you remember that you’re half-naked and that anyone can come in and see you like that.

your embarrassment nearly triples as you trip over yourself trying to get dressed again; your hands shake and your legs can barely hold you up, but you can’t let him see just how much he affects you. you whisper a soft, thank you before taking off. you still feel his lips and hands on your body, and you feel like you’re being burned alive. despite finally finding relief, a different ache plagues you, crawls around your lower abdomen and throbs so much that you decide to sleep the rest of the day away.

with his back turned, he can pretend that he’s composed, even though he’s everything but — he knows there’s no way he can go back to training after he had his fingers and mouth in your cunt. if he were the poetic sort, he’d say it was the highlight of his month, but thankfully he’s not. still, it doesn’t stop him from looking over his shoulder, watching the way you scurry off, hips swaying, ass even more appealing the longer he stares at it. when you’re finally out of sight, he lets out a defeated sigh, internally berating himself for getting too carried away. if he had more discipline, he’d have been able to resist you more — or, that’s the lie he’s going to tell himself until he starts believing it.

[carlos-in-glasses]

Thank you for the tag @im-overstimulated-and-im-sad @thisbuildinghasfeelings @lemonlyman-dotcom @fallout-mars @strandnreyes @redshirt2 @sznofthesticks @heartstringsduet 🧡💛🧡💛

This is from Where All This Love Comes From Chapter 11: Lonely as a Sparrow In the Rain, which will be posted on Sunday. A little moment between TK 'Soothing' Strand and Carlos 'Blobfish Reyes:

“Hey, baby, how are you feeling?” TK yawns from the couch when Carlos enters. He’s still in his pajamas – still trying to reset his body clock after his final night shift for a while – and he appears to be eating red jello from a glass dish. “I made jello. Don’t know if you saw my note on the refrigerator. Cap had a clear out and asked if we’d want a jello mold shaped like a hippo, so obviously I said yes. It doesn’t really look like a hippo – it’s more like a blobfish. But it’s delicious and will be easy on your stomach. How’d your morning go? Baby?”

Carlos can’t speak. He swallows. His throat hurts. He wanders over and slumps down next to TK on the cushions.

“You’re puffy,” TK says, “Tell me why you’re puffy?” He places his jello dish onto a coaster on the coffee table so he can freely stroke Carlos’ hair. 

Usually, Carlos would sigh or hum with pleasure at the sensation of TK’s fingers working over him, but today he whimpers.

Staring mournfully at the jello, he thinks it wobbles like a struggling, living thing, but shines like cut rubies where the sun catches its nebulous edges. Grossly beautiful. TK made a hippo jello. Life goes on in this way.  

“Tell me why you look even worse now than you did earlier?" TK prompts softly. "Tell me why you look like a blobfish?”

“Gutiérrez texted.” Carlos’ voice hits the words and cracks. He hears himself, squeaky and weak. He hates it. “That lead we thought was sound…It was no good.”

“Baby.” TK snuggles up to him a little closer. "I'm so sorry." 

Carlos sleepily drops his arm over TK’s legs, tugging at the soft brushed cotton of the pajama pants patterned with blue diamonds. A surprise replacement gift for TK after the fire. He’d never bought TK pajamas before, and it felt so intimate in a new way.

TK hadn’t said anything about Gutiérrez’ lead when it first came through, but he’d thought it was one hell of a longshot even though Carlos became excited and determined. Now his husband is a crumpled heap on the couch. “Do you want me to rub your back?” TK asks.

“Head,” Carlos says.

“In bed?”

“Okay.”

Open tag and tags below!

@reyesstrand @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut @louis-ii-reyes-strand @ladytessa74 @alrightbuckaroo @liminalmemories21 @carlos-tk @noxsoulmate @chaotictarlos @taralaurel @lightningboltreader @orchidscript @jesuisici33 @herefortarlos @eclectic-sassycoweyes @wandering-night19 @never-blooms @my-little-tilly @whatsintheboxmh @fitzherbertssmolder @inkweedandlizards @three-drink-amy @ambiguouspenny @chicgeekgirl89 @sugdenlovesdingle @theghostofashton @spaghett-onaplate @welcometololaland @rmd-writes @freneticfloetry @paperstorm @sanjuwrites @goodways - if you want to share/ haven't already! No pressure ever! ❤️🩷🧡💛💚💙🩵💜

[tadpolesonalgae]

Hi hi! Im usually a lurker (first time sending anything in actually) I couldn’t help myself this time though and just really needed to say you are one of my favourite writers! Went from binging cbmthy to binging everything else. Thank you for sharing all the amazing writing🙇🙇 I hope you’re taking care of yourself!!💝🌸

…Moving forward…I’m sorry for my ramblings🫠 there’s just so much to talk and love about your stories

Ngl the first line of chapter 22 already made my heart ache🫠 just cause i felt it so deeply that reader almost routinely wants to talk to Bas. The thought of someone being such a big part of your life and just being gone one day over a terrible situation (whether it’s a good or bad thing that they’re gone), atp it’s so built into your routine that you can’t help but check on them or think of them even when you shouldn’t.

Idek how to feel about her sisters constantly wanting to buy things for her room. Cause I understand her sisters wanting to make her room feel more cozy again, and wanting to make her happy with the time she has left AND most importantly, conveying that it isn’t a “waste” to buy her things. BUT I ALSO UNDERSTAND READER’S MENTALITY AND I WILL ADMIT IVE GOTTEN FRUSTRATED IN SIMILAR SITUATIONS. Genuinely it does not feel good when you feel like you’re wasting other people’s money or time

Now Az…man Az…I’m probably in the minority of rooting for him even when the worst interactions happened between them (I say it’s cause I have massive faith in your writing ability to make their relationship come together☝️✨) BUT WJDJJWD I was almost thinking “just what is it that he wants??” Cause first, he’s the one who keeps seeking reader out now(? 2-3 times isn’t that many but I digress) while also flashing from decently warm (decently is important here) to extremely cold or indifferent.

“You kissed me back” EXCUSE ME? WHAT? LIKE- OKAY??? AND?? YOU DIDNT HAVE TO INITIATE IT ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU KNOW SHES SO DOWN BAD(???)

Okok and now the part I’m slightly confused about right? Now it’s very clear that reader isn’t the most emotionally stable and she is very very deadset on the belief that they hate her. So it wouldn’t surprise me if she took Az’s reaction wrong. What may look like ‘a horrible secret being revealed’, could actually be Az just- almost not knowing what to say to make things better? Or just…not knowing how to handle this? The line I’m questioning is “Azriel doesn’t care if she hit the nail on the head” how I took it is that what she said wasn’t necessarily correct but it doesn’t matter cause Az doesn’t want her to think he reciprocates but he also doesn’t want to reveal a “part of himself”👁️👁️ CURIOUS, VERY CURIOUS. And so he opted to be cold so she would hate him which I almost think that’s cause of his own deep rooted fears and hatred for himself (especially cause of the ‘if she thinks she’s in love with him, she should know how awful he is’ line). And that’s the part he doesn’t wanna expose to her (MAYBE??) as well as he actually probably pays way more attention to her than she thinks (Mr. I-know-you-have-a-small-scar-from-the-arrow)

Anyway that’s my rambling, please let me know if I misunderstood some of the text with Az!! THANK YOU FOR THE BEAUTIFUL, HEART WRENCHING CHAPTER, EXCITED ABOUT THIS PRISON BREAK SITUATION💝💝

‘Hi hi! Im usually a lurker (first time sending anything in actually)’

Ahhh hello!! Very happy to have you here (whether you’re lurking or chatting in 🧡💛)!

‘just really needed to say you are one of my favourite writers! Went from binging cbmthy to binging everything else.’

Really?? ☹️🫂🫂 I’m so happy you liked cbmthy enough to explore further! I hope none of it was too jarring to read—I imagine hopping from angsty cbmthy to smut riddled basically-everything-else might be a bit surprising at first 😭

Please do not worry about rambling, I love love love hearing from people and chatting!! 🧡💛 (I also find it very helpful too—anyone who’s been here since the beginning of cbmthy will be able to confirm I relied—and still do kind of—a lot on feedback to help me measure angst levels and steer the story progression 🫣)

‘Ngl the first line of chapter 22 already made my heart ache🫠 just cause i felt it so deeply that reader almost routinely wants to talk to Bas.’

Yes! And it’s not like anyone other than Mor might have any reason to go to the Winter Court so it’s like he’ll be completely out of reach once he’s gone!

Though while I think it will be painful for reader to lose him like that—in the way that he won’t be completely gone, but just far enough she can’t reach him—it might push her to venture further in attempts to find a way to get another third space for herself (or I guess technically second space, since she’s only really in the River House now with her sisters and the IC)? I think that might be exciting to see?

What you said about doing things out of habit though, expecting someone to be there once they’re not…do you think anyone might spot a single empty chair and pause? Or pass a pair of gloves and remember sensitivity in their fingertips? After six months has passed, I mean

‘Idek how to feel about her sisters constantly wanting to buy things for her room.’

Yes, even though Rhys is probably horrifically wealthy, and even if that wealth is extended to Feyre and her sisters, I don’t imagine reader would ever really feel like it was hers. Or that she’d earned it.

If reader could accept that offering I think things could be very happy though. Imagine having an entire space designed specifically you? With the colours you like, evidence of hobbies scattered around? A safe place to be?

Also being on the other end of reader’s illness, I think it would be natural to want to make someone’s life as happy and as comfortable as possible if you knew it was coming to the end. It’s just unfortunate there’s still that small barrier between them :/

‘Now Az…man Az…I’m probably in the minority of rooting for him even when the worst interactions happened between them’

Yes! Yes! Finally! I’ll shower you in metaphorical flowers!! Thank you!! I promise it’ll get better, just stick with me and everything will be fine!!

‘Cause first, he’s the one who keeps seeking reader out now’

I think it’s very funny that they keep meeting, and trying to have a normal conversation and just,,,failing,,,consistently 🤭

‘“You kissed me back” EXCUSE ME? WHAT? LIKE- OKAY??? AND?? YOU DIDNT HAVE TO INITIATE IT ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU KNOW SHES SO DOWN BAD(???)’

I adore that I could practically hear the indignant splutter through the screen 😭🧡💛

To be fair, in that moment Azriel thought that reader was accusing him of sexually taking advantage of her which is why he opposed her in a way that was kind of embarrassing for her, when reader was actually talking about Azriel using her to get a read on Elain (which yay, reader’s keeping that in mind now!!)

‘So it wouldn’t surprise me if she took Az’s reaction wrong.’

👀? To be fair, if she’s convinced herself that everyone hates her, I imagine convincing herself that Azriel might try to kill her out of revulsion wouldn’t be a tricky task 😭

‘The line I’m questioning is “Azriel doesn’t care if she hit the nail on the head” how I took it is that what she said wasn’t necessarily correct but it doesn’t matter cause Az doesn’t want her to think he reciprocates but he also doesn’t want to reveal a “part of himself”👁️👁️ CURIOUS, VERY CURIOUS.’

So I’m actually very curious to see how people interpreted this part because I think it’s the closest we’ve gotten so far to understanding an element of Azriel’s cold behaviour towards Reader?

I’m not going to elaborate on this part because it will be expanded upon later in the series and I don’t want to spoil anything, but yeah. It was fun to write those two paragraphs from Az’s perspective 🥲

‘as well as he actually probably pays way more attention to her than she thinks (Mr. I-know-you-have-a-small-scar-from-the-arrow)’

I want to say I ADORED that scene and I think reader was probably frozen from awe too. I mean, we know how flustered she gets from holding a conversation with him alone, not to mention when close proximity is added since Reader was obviously raised human, and time alone with a man + TOUCHING??? = Marriage. Horse and carriage. COURTING. (I’m being hyperbolic 😶)

Since I think that’s how reader’s been raised to view those things, I imagine she attributes much more meaning to them than any of the born-fae do, hence all the flushing and embarrassment and elevated heart rates 🤭

(That’s not to say that Azriel was flirting with her. More that they have different perspectives on how to display intimacy—also will be elaborated on—and while reader knows Azriel doesn’t mean those things in the way she understands them, that doesn’t remove their significance for her which makes her feelings much more difficult to temper :) )

Like him touching the spot atop her heart?? Much more intimate than a one night stand where it would only be physical nakedness 😭

‘Anyway that’s my rambling, please let me know if I misunderstood some of the text with Az!! THANK YOU FOR THE BEAUTIFUL, HEART WRENCHING CHAPTER, EXCITED ABOUT THIS PRISON BREAK SITUATION💝💝’

I loved reading you ramble and I’m so flattered you had so much to say about it!! Obviously I enjoy cbmthy since it takes up quite a lot of my time, so getting to hear people like yourself who’ve decided to read all the parts and then further decided to take some time to type messages out into my inbox? 🧡💛🫂🫂🫂

I love it, so much, so thank you for reading and enjoying!! I hope it continues to be a fun adventure! ☹️🫂

[mapoeggplant]

i was reading some chapter discussions since im catching up on skip and loafer and i saw someone call mtsumi self-centered like always and this was surprising to me because i've only seen her as a positive character! do i just have shima vision in thinking she is always right? i just cant think of how she is a self-centered character and how someone could get that impression!

oh anon……i want to say i’m sorry because i’ll write a lot about this topic.

honestly, people see her like that because of the breakup chapter. i don’t quite understand why people see mitsumi as a self-centered character when all she was thinking about was shima’s feelings and a way to preserve their friendship, for the both of them.

i’ve seen people saying she’s self-centered because, in their mind, she forced her feelings on shima, which was never the case. she was always open to listen to what he had to say and gave him a chance to speak up while they were having the picnic, but she knows how hard and confusing it is for him to open up and understand his own feelings. when she started to talk about wanting to focus on herself, it was clear to me that she was just making up an excuse to preserve their feelings.

we, as readers, need to reming ourselves that we are the ones with the “bigger picture”. we know what is happening behind the scenes, we have the power to read people’s mind and understand their emotions. not the characters. mitsumi doesn’t know ANYTHING that happened with shima or his internal battles. all she knows is what he’s ready to tell her and she respects and appreciates that. she never forces anything out of him or make up stories on her mind, all she does is respect his space.

when shima says “mitsumi is always right”, this comes more from his admiration for mitsumi rather than the absolute truth. he thinks she’s this amazing person who always knows what to do and always understand her own feelings, someone that he’s not. that’s why he sees her as someone who’s never wrong.

he keeps on repeating “mitsumi said i don’t feel that way about her” and that is already a point for people to say “see, mitsumi is imposing her feelings on him”, which is not true at all. shima never had the chance to be in touch with his feelings and be the one to determine what he feels. when someone he admires and think is right says something, ofc he’ll be “oh, yeah she’s right”. but that doesn’t mean he stopped and simply accepted: he’s questioning if this is truth since the day she said it — i mean, the fumi scene? the crab scene? the talk with mukai? all he wants is to understand his feelings and see if mitsumi was indeed right or if there’s something more that he’s missing.

that reminded me of another point that people broght up once that absolute make no sense to me: people said that, when fumi said mitsumi’s only good at studying, she’s just poking fun at both of them (mistumi and shima) with how terrible they are with love and understanding their own feelings. in fumi’s point of view, shima DOES like mitsumi’s romantically, and she’s surprised that mitsumi can’t see that herself, since she said “he doesn’t feel that way”. she’s not, at any point, confirming that mitsumi is selfish nor saying that she only thinks about herself.

i don’t know…mitsumi showed to be one of the most selfless characters out there. we even have a chapter with her exhausting herself to help everyone with the festival, starting to work just so she could buy her sister another wallet, asking the girls not to treat shima differently after knowing about the breakup….she’s ALWAYS thinking about others, which, in my opinion, isn’t even that great for her, i wish she would think more about herself and be more selfish!

anyways, sorry for the long rant, but this subject kinda makes me mad!!! like how can people see that sunshine as a self centered person?? absolute crazy!

hope i made myself clear!!!!!! but we can discuss more if you want, i’m always here for it 💛

[taylorswiftstylequestions]

user @taylorswift loves Sarah confirmed 🥲

SARAH!!!!!!! The stress levels I was feeling knowing that we were down to your last surprise song, and then BOOM Debut just for you!!

TTWAS FOR YOUUUUUU OMG

SARAH TTWAS OMG I COULD NOT BE HAPPIER FOR YOU

SARAH TTWAS I AM SOBBING FOR YOU AND ME 😭😭😭

GREEN DRESS AND TTWAS?? SHE SAID TONIGHT IS FOR YOU 🥺🥺🥺

TIED TOGETHER WITH A SMILE IN YELLOW WITH GREEN LIGHTS YES SARAH!!!

TTWAS!!!! DEBUT!! FOR YOU!

TTWAS WE MANIFESTED

SARAHHHHH she knows you’re there she did this for you ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

SARAH!!!!! TTWAS!!!! 😭😭😭

Oh Sarah! Listening to TTWAS during Seattle N2 and crying happy tears for you! 🥹

SARAH!!!! Soo happy you got TTWAS!!! Blondes in Yellow!! And blondes in green with her folklore dress!!! 💛💚

OH SARAH IM SO HAPPY THAT YOU GOT THE GREEN FOLKLORE DRESS AND TIED TOGETHER WITH A SMILE DEBUT STAN WINS!!!!!

SARAHHHHHHH! I KNOW YOU'RE PROBABLY GETTING 130000 MESSAGES BUT. SHE DID THIS FOR YOU!! I AM CONVINCED!! CONGRATS ON TTWAS 💚

IM CRYING IN MY LIVING ROOM IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU

as soon as i saw that taylor played tied together with a smile my first thought was "i'm so happy for sarah!" debut stans win tonight!

TTWAS!!!!!!!  SARAH I AM SO BEYOND HAPPY FOR YOU RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚 

Omg Sarah!!! I have never heard this song before. It’s beautiful. So happy for you. 

SHES PLAYİNG TTWAS YEEEESSSSS!! TSSER MANIFESTATION CIRCLE WORKED

I'm genuinely so happy for you Sarah, I hope you're having the best time!

Greeeeeeen folklore, Blonde In Yellow™️, and THE Debut song, TTWAS! I'm so happy for you Sarah, Yay!!!!!

THIS IS WHY SARAH ///CAN/// HAVE NICE THINGS💚💚💚💚💚

SARAH ARE YOU OKAY???? SHE SANG IT FOR YOU SARAH I JUST KNOW IT BUT ARE YOU OKAY????

sarah!!!! debut 😭 so so happy for you babes 

My reaction, all the way from Australia, upon finding out that tied together with a smile was Seattle N2 surprise song- *gasps very dramatically* “YESSSSSS!! YESS!!!” I’ve never been happier about a surprise song and it’s not even my eras tour show. All the manifesting worked 💚

I was there tonight and thought of you as soon as she came out in green and started singing ttwas. Hope you had the best night ever; sad I couldn't pass on  a bracelet to you but overjoyed about the rest of the night >4

hi Sarah 💚 when I saw that Tay played TTWAS last night, I just thought THAT WAS FOR SARAH!!! omg 🥹🤧🥰 you got it!!!! Manifesting works!! 💚 No one is ready for the re-record of debut! And then they will realize.

YES SARAH!!!!!!!! Love that your surprise songs were from Red, Rep, and Debut - so on brand so wonderful so deserved. AND you both wore GREEEEEEEEEEEEEN. Genuinely buzzing for you 

I just woke up to the news that Taylor played TTWAS last night?!?!? and in YELLOW??? So happy for you sarah I hope you had the best time!! ❤️❤️

WE DID IT TTWAS WAS JUST FOR YOU

You got Debut tonight!!!!! I'm so happy for you!!!!!!

Not just any debut soldier, but TTWAS 🥹  so happy for you. I hope you didn’t black out & are able to remember it. 

Hi, Taylor 👋 I know you come on TSS(Q) sometimes & want to say thank you for giving our big sis Sarah a debut bb last night 💚

DEBUT FOR SARAHHHHH

I just woke up and saw that Taylor played TTWAS last night! So happy you got one of your debut songs!!

Congrats sarah on your debut soldier !! Ttwas is so good. And its really cool that she played debut so randomly (or is it random *wink* *wink*)!!

sarah!!! you got the greeeeeeen folklore dress, a blondes in yellow moment for surprise songs, and tied together with a smile for the piano song. WHAT A NIGHT FOR YOU!!! 💚💛

I have no words. Just the “we did it, Joe” meme. 😭😭😭🥹🥹🥹💚💚💚

The first thing I did when I woke up this morning was check if she sang a debut for you and was so happy she did AND it was ttwas!!!! 🥲💚

Hi Sarah, I’ve been following your blog since the beginning. I thought of you immediately last night when Taylor sang TTWAS!! It made me SO happy! I can’t think of anyone more deserving. 😇

I woke up today and saw she sand TTWAS. My first reaction was “omg Sarah must’ve freaked out!!!!!” 🤣🤣🤣 i came here immediately to see if you’ve posted anything  

---

Back home from Seattle today to my inbox which was an explosion of green hearts and sobbing emojis which is so on brand I can't even begin to tell you.

We really did it. That really happened.

😭🥹💚

[frzerburn]

Hello. First off I am here to say you can’t be given me life updates then fall off the face of the earth! I need to know what happens next, we drinking more coffee? We fighting off bitches? We out here dancing? 😂

Anyways, I hope you are well friend. I like hearing all the things and hopefully this makes you laugh a little. 😊

This is coco and she makes the best faces when she wakes up from naps 😂

🤣….Im Sawwy!

Almost got into a fight that i was trying to stop the other night with my barguest. I really want sum fucking coffee damn it!!!! I dont connect well with others so lets say im staving off bitches 😊. Also i dance behind the bar every night and i personally think its fucking amaze ballz! Btw u made my fucking night last night when i saw you wrote me literally made me smile cause tbh i dont genuinely think anyone cares about my life much at all,which is fine but this actually had me leaving my phone open in the service well lasg night with a thoughtful smile on my face. Hmmmmmm lets see…its 5:55am and i still haven’t gone to sleep since closing my bar at 1am. Ive been binge watching the office for the past week and a half for the 5th time now cause why nottttt mental health 😋. I met literally the sweetest couple and they love me and i think theyre the greatest and unfortunately theyre moving to Michigan so theres that but they’ve come to see me at my bar twice now and plan to come see me more before they leave. My hair has been looking very different and pretty dope and i love it because it helps my mental health. Ive been thoroughly enjoying a game on xbox with my best friend which i will say is the best game ive ever played! Busy football season is upon us and i need the money and very excited for the busy work seeing as im super hyper active! My jeep (Zoey) has been treating me right so were good there. Ive been posting alot about Border Collies because i really want a super active dog to run everyday with & they’re beautiful 😍. My Aunt Lily sent me $100 for gas last night and that was such a random surprise 😊💛. Oh ! Dare i say fall is upon us?!?!? 🍂 🍁 🍃

September & December both have Friday 13ths so im gonna get lots of piercings because those are my favorite holidays! Ive been deeping alot of awesome music like Jaded by Fordo , Lost souls Baby Keem ,Like we wrote LITHE & i just loving listening to anything EDEN! Like i absolutely have been listening to Zzz ALOT! Hmmmmm i havent read in a week now just cause my Adhd gets the best of me and i cant focus but thats life. Coco is fucking adorable!!!!!!!!! What a fucking cutie!

Thanks for being the best , friend and i hope you’re out here doing your best and if you’re not i wanna hear about it all! Seriously im glad u reached out to me! Means literally more than i can put into words! I have so much more to talk about but i wrote a fucking book bwahahahahaha! You’re so very welcome!

💛🍂🍃🍁

[dyinggoosenoises]

I know the last ones blue but here’s the ask for every question

:DDD yay!!

📷 What’s set as your phone’s lockscreen?

it says [lesbian panic] on a peach/pink background. its a heartstopper reference

🍫 Cheese or chocolate?

chocolate definitely, i dont like cheese

✨ Do you have any nicknames?

i have a couple, but they all have my name in them so i cant share them

🎵 Last song you listened to?

dial drunk - noah kahan

✏️ Have you ever written fanfiction?

nope

😏 Are you on discord?

yep

💛 Do you have any piercings?

yeah, both my ears are pierced

🐰 What do you think says the most about a person?

um. idk.

🍪 If you were a cookie, what kind would you be?

oatmeal chocolate chip 😌

🐶 Are you more of a dog person or a cat person?

cat person, but i love dogs too

🎧 Headphones or earbuds?

earbuds (with wires)

🌼 What’s the last thing you said out loud?

'love you too' to my cat when she bit me

🙃 What’s a weird fact that you know?

yesterday was the national day of remembrance and action on violence against women

🦉 Are you a morning person or a night owl?

night owl

🧸 Favorite place to nap?

i dont nap often but probably my bed

🏳️‍🌈 Are you a member of the LGBTQIA+ community?

yeah, im a genderqueer possibly demisexual lesbian

🦋 Describe yourself in three words.

hate, this, question

👖 Jeans or sweatpants?

sweatpants are always superior, theyre just so comfy

🥤 What’s your go-to Starbucks order?

i dont drink starbucks, but my drink order at tims is a medium steeped tea, one milk, one sugar

🧡 A color you can’t stand?

mustard yellow

💎 What’s your most prized possession?

my stuffed rabbit that ive had since i was born

☕ Coffee or tea?

tea obviously, coffee is gross

🦖 Favorite extinct animal?

the dodo bird :]

🌙 How long have you been on tumblr?

since march of this year

🌴 Desert island item?

swiss army knife

🐸 Describe your aesthetic.

uh. idk what my aesthetic is

🔮 What’s your dream job?

psychologist

💙 Relationship status?

taken by the most wonderful amazing beautiful perfect person in the whole world <3

🌿 Describe your favorite outfit.

these really comfy grey sweatpants, my internal screaming shirt, and my blue banff hoodie

🎤 Is there a song you know all the lyrics to?

i know all the lyrics to most of the songs i listen to, but i think the most impressive one is that i know all the lyrics of the entirety of hamilton

🤎 What color is your hair?

light brown

💌 Do you talk to yourself?

only in my head

💄 Do you wear makeup?

only on special occasions like a wedding or something

🌸 Best compliment you ever received?

i love all the compliments i get but one that i really remembered was when my friend told me i had nice eyebrows soooo......

💞 @ your favorite blog.

this will come to no surprise @idontliketomatoesleavemealone <3333

[oooohno]

Ask Game: write a little scenario for each of your selfships. Bonus: write for one or more moots a scenario with their selfships. It does not require to be long

I know I’m super late to answer this & I’m sorry for that but alas here are my answers 💗

Hirugami likes to be held after a long exhausting day. He doesn’t necessarily always wanna talk about what’s bothering him but he likes to be comforted in quiet ways. One of his favorite things to do is to cuddle on the couch while watching TV, he will lay between my legs, with his head on my stomach, his arms loosely wrapped around my middle. He will definitely fall asleep like that & then complain afterwards that his neck is stiff pfffff

Now on to my moots!!!

@ohtokki Komori loves to leave little notes in Laura’s pockets. Sometimes they are really sweet ones like ‘You look so pretty’, other times they’ll say confessions he’s too hesitant to admit like ‘I ate the last cookie pls don’t be mad :( <3’ or ‘remember when you said you can’t find your favorite pair of fluffy socks? Well I accidentally shrunk them…together with your yellow sweater with the little bee on it’. But don’t worry Laura he’ll 100% make it up to you 💛. Sometimes these messages will be more like actual love letters about his pov on your first date or the moment he realized his feelings for you. But these ones are always hidden inside your to-read books (see it as an attempt to get you to read more hehe)

@kyopmi Omi Omi would never admit this but he will sometimes steal one of your plushies/ shirts/ pillowcases/ some fabric with your scent on it whenever he has an away game & needs to spend the night away from you. The first time was an accident but the second he recognizes one of your shirts tucked into his suitcase he feels instant relieve that he has a piece of you with him to hold close. It’s gotten to the point where he will steal your favorite plushie/ blanket & shamelessly take it with him on his travels. Of course you’ve figured this out long ago but it’s so endearing to see him come up with silly excuses & reasons why some of your things just miraculously disappear & reappear whenever he travels 🤭

@1812p4n Osamu loves to learn all your favorite recipes for you. He will spend hours to perfect pelmeni to make you happy & nothing brings him more joy than to surprise you with a new dish & to see how your eyes sparkle & crinkle with your smile. Even if the food tastes nothing like it should, he preens under your compliments & attempts to cheer him up. (Atsumu was definitely subjected to be taste tester too but quit after one too many seasoning mishaps). He loves to connect with you over food & to share stories about your favorite dishes from childhood & he can’t wait to have his only family with you to pass on these traditions. Oh and he definitely asks you to create a cookbook with all your recipes inside bc he loves how creative you get with your journaling 🥺

@yuutakittie Kita’s granny gifted you two dancing lessons at the beginning of your relationship bc she instantly knew from the way kita spoke about you & behaved around you, that you were the one & she knew it would take kita a bit of time to learn how to dance & nothing would be more embarrassing than stepping on your toes during your first wedding dance. Kita was waaay to awkward & stiff at first but the more often the two of you swayed together & twirled around the studio the more comfortable he became. And those dancing lessons definitely paid off bc you two put on a show whenever you dance in the middle of the kitchen while preparing dinner & talking about your day. It’s one of his favorite things to do, to guide you around your shared home until the two of you fall into bed together.

@134340am Kuroo has one of those office calendars for his desk filled with little facts or details about you/ your & his life. He notes down things you told him about your day & whenever he misses you or just thinks about you he will look at an entry & it immediately lifts his mood. Like for example on April 10, you forgot your umbrella at home & got caught in the rain. You sent him a looooong text about your misfortunes with a selfie captioned ‘it’s giving wet pathetic kitten’ & he thought you were the cutest person ever!! He even drew a little wet cat right next to the handwritten calendar entry, to remind him of that day. Or June 29, it was extremely hot & your A/C broke that day & it led to you spending an entire week at Kuroo’s apartment & that was the week he realized that he never wanted you to go back to your own place. That his apartment wouldn’t feel like home anymore if you weren’t there <3

@kuroosdarling Whenever you & semi semi have an argument he will do the most (little drama queen!!) to make you talk to him again. He will hide your phone so you have to ask him to call you. All off a sudden all your own hoodies are in the washing machine so you have to put on one of his. He’s a little shit but you know that this is his way of making the first move, it’s to gauge your temper, are you willing to talk to him or do you still need some time to cool off. Once the ice is broken & your phone is in your hands or he can see you rummage through his closet, he will wrap himself around you & start apologizing for whatever it was that made you upset. Will definitely want to cuddle/ spend time with you for quite some time afterwards, almost like after-care after fighting. Even if the argument was no one’s fault, it just doesn’t sit right with him to know you’re out & about fuming bc of him :(((

[thinkingisadangerouspastime]

9, 29, and 30 for the ao3 wrapped meme!

9. Favorite pairing you wrote for this year?

OOOOOH THIS IS TOUGH!! y'know what? even though i wrote more kincoy than i did any other pairing this year, i think i have to go with mjflash, as seen in this thing of darkness (i acknowledge mine). don't get me wrong, i love the angst and sexual/romantic tension of kincoy, but mjflash was truly a blast to write because of their banter and the quiet ephemerality of it. while kincoy is ephemeral because, like romeo and juliet, their story was a tragedy from the beginning, mj and flash (in my fic) are upcoming college students. they like each other, and they want what they have to last, but how long can it? how long can their relationship stand on the back of missing memories and forgotten secrets? that dynamic was so fun for me to begin playing with, and again, they're so Snarky with each other 💛 i love sassy kids 😌

29. Favorite line/passage you wrote this year?

one story i was very proud of overall was it was more than worth it, my kincoy magnum opus, and that's because i played with tense and poetic intercutting in this fic much more than i usually do! im am 99% sure i've highlighted the following section of the story before...

thanks for your patience xoxo. this is from the very end of the fic:

Of quiet birds in circled flight. I am the soft stars that shine at night.

“—see a smile, Jack, come on!”

Jack’s childish response is to clamp a hand over his mouth, and Claire groans, exasperated.

“You’re such a shit.”

“Love you, too,” Jack teases from behind his hand, and the silence that falls in the photo booth is heavier than clouds before a storm as Claire stares at him with wide eyes.

“Do you?” she whispers, uncertain, and Jack’s hand slowly falls from his mouth.

“Yeah,” he says, honestly. “Yeah, I do.”

And a small, almost bashful smile tugs at Claire’s lips. “Good.” She reaches over to lace her fingers through his. “Because I think I might love you, too.”

Jack grins, too, because they are—

Do not stand at my grave and cry.

—standing at his door with wet eyes and weary faces.

“There’s been an accident, Jack,” Anita Van Buren says, her voice cracking.

“It’s Claire,” Adam Schiff says, older than he’s ever been.

Jack can’t breathe, because he is—

I am not there.

—kissing Claire Kincaid for the first time, his heart pounding out of his chest.

“We shouldn’t be doing this,” Jack murmurs, pulling away.

“I want to do this,” Claire counters, tugging him down into another kiss. She wants to do this, because she is—

I did not die.

28 years old when a drunk driver smashes into the left side of her car.

and there's more after that, but i won't drag this out 😂 im just so, so happy with the flow of that section 🥰 the inherent tragedy of kincoy!! magnifique!!

30. Biggest surprise while writing this year?

answered here!

[melis-writes]

hello i just want to say lately im having the impression youre writing certain things you dont want you dont want to write? i feel like people got v hyped over victonny and, even if good, you write it mostly bc people demand it and not much bc you want it. i just want to say write what you want. you've been gettig some anons that are getting demanding lately and theyre in no position to put that pressure on when you post and what you post. seems p inconsiderate to the author to me.

Hello sweet anon, thank you for your concern. ❤️ I really appreciate it!! Let me clear this all up!

As immensely popular as the Victonny ship has gotten with many, many prompts coming in by the day, I never write anything I don’t want to. Since I’ve started accepting prompts many, many months back, I have come across ones that made me uncomfortable or that I simply wasn’t interested in and that still applies to this day. I receive about ~15 prompts a day, varied in terms of ships, plots, films, characters etc! 😅

I’m very grateful people want to see smaller snippets of my writing on a more regular basis with everyone’s ideas and I always will be. 🥰 I love writing, it’s what I do! But I’m a human being, not an automated robot so I can’t write all the time or at specific times or everything all at once. That’s why I really appreciate everyone’s patience and love the anticipation. 💕

That’s why I don’t work on Victonny prompts everyday or all the time. I know how immensely popular it is, I know there’s a demand and a wait, but I also want to prioritize and work on the other prompts because I know I’ll get to Victonny later. 👀 I personally love the ship myself and I’m thrilled/surprised in the best way possible for how popular it got over a small shock scene in the actual fic, so I definitely would not write any Victonny prompts if I really didn’t actually want to. ❤️ There are of course some submissions of Victonny (for example) I received that I was not interested in writing.

Thank you, I really appreciate your outlook and support. ☺️ I completely get what you mean. The writing comes out when it comes out, I don’t work with my hobbies under pressure. 😅 That’s my golden rule. 💛

[delusional-mishaps]

OMG OMG YESSS I have so much to say so be prepared for yet another long ask 💕 really enjoying your replies omg they are so fun RAAAAHHHH!!!Op and I might have later replies because my dog is really sick, uuhhh yea not good

I FREAKING LOVE AND HATE ANIME TERMS. Like they are so cringe but also goofy, yes he uses them. And he likes Mob Psycho 100 BECAUSE I SAID SO OKAY LEMME PROJECT!!! HE MAKES REFERENCES TO REIGEN ARTAKA WHENEVER SOMEONE BRJNGS UP A SCAMMER AND PROBABLY BRINGS UP THE SEXYMAN TOURNAMENT LIKE “Oh yeah bruh people said an alternative version of me was hotter than him,” HE WOULD BE SO PROUD OF ORIGINAL SANS UNDERTALE WINNING THAT GRRRRR!!! And the fontcest was VERY disturbing, but my friends have sent me a lot worse (if they suffer, I have too also 😭😭😭).

Could not agree more on how goofy the mtt is with grandpa nightmare. ONLY FANON THOUGH. Canon is pretty messed up actually, but I ADORE the angst with all my heart. Omg epic sans angst also… we👏need 👏MORE👏

Cram and James also had an abusive owner though? WHO COULD HURT THOSE BABIES. HOW DARE THEY TOUCH DA CHILD, I WOULD BEAT THEM UP SO FAST‼️🤬 Also how did your sona react when they realized there were two more previous lil things in their pockets? And just wanted to say how right your motto in the description is, to be cringe IS to be free! THAT’S WHAT I’VE BEEN SAYING AAAAAHHH!!! And I remember you said you fell in love with epic after you wrote a request for him? WHERE IS THAT REQUEST I NEED IT NOW TO READ PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE 🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🤲🤲🤲🤲🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

Your coworker that you were posting about seems really yucky. Honestly I have no idea what you should do, but making it very obvious that you don’t want to hang out with him and telling your boss about it would be the best steps in my opinion. Also since he has an accent that you can’t easily understand, texting might be a good communication method. Just know that it is completely okay to feel uncomfortable and that there are people here for you. I love you platonically boo boo, stay safe. And if you ever need me, just use the words epic and sans in the same post and I SHALL BE SUMMONED (I check the tag everyday lol) there should be some in depth videos about what to do when feeling uncomfortable around coworkers also, it;s a pretty common thing and I would recommend maybe checking those out. Hope everything turns out okay, take my hearts ily again friend 🩷❤️🧡💛💚🩵💙💜🤎🖤🩶🤍💖💝💘💓💗💞💕♥️❣️💟🫀🫶

-sincerely, anon? Wait I don’t really have a name I guess lol. And hahahah, YOU’LL NEVER KNOW MY TRUE IDENTITY!!! (stay safe tho I might die if anything happens to you, care about you a lot)

ANOOON ❤️❤️🫶🫶🫶🫶

OKAY!! THIS (click here) is the post that made me fall head over heels for the cringe master himself i hate him i hate him i hate him i need to make out with him *get's assassinated* (this post was the reason i ever even looked into epic i never really knew abt him before that)

ISNSONEOEJ EPIC WOULD SOOO LOVE THAT UT SANS IS CONSIDERED SEXIER THAN REIGN.. ngl i dont watch anime anymore so idk what is going on in.. anime fandom anymore.. but methinks epic would totally still act like late 2000s/early 2010s fandom.. bro would "glomp" and .. wtv idk LMFAOOO

i adoreeeee angst im actually so surprised ive yet to write any angst with epic ngl (all my personal self insert writing is.. smyt... LMFAOOAOAOAI) actually thats a lie theres a lil angst bcs (bringing up my persona's lore mwehehe) they met epic first!!! and became friends eith him b4 they met cross!!!! and he had a lil crush on them but woyld ratger die than confess so then my sona and cross get together and epic is all emo bcs unrequited love but its ok theyre a power throuple now

i had this customer earlier who had like a rlly thick scottish accent and fr some reason i was like.. nightmare wiyha thick scottish accent would be so funny. the mtt would make so much fun of him fir how he says words and when he gets angry hes like incomprehensible. idk why i thought of that but its tlly funny to think about LMAOO <333 BUT ALSO imagine how a canon mtt would be.. because the mtt is veryyyyy fanon.. like everyone would hate each other 😭

OK CRAM AND JAM!!!! ngl when my sona (who's name is jet, and i'll be calling them that fron this point instead if calling yhem 'my sona' LMFAOO) realized they had two extra bitties they kinda just.. 🧍 <- stood there like that. but its not the first time they just had bitties pop up and decide to live with them they got an ink bitty that did like the same thing BAHAHAH he just decided to move into their apartment. jet doesnt rlly mind but theyre lil trouble makers >:(

ANOOON YOU'RE LITETALLY SO SWEET.. catch me crying on my break at work rn LMFAOO yeah im gonna tell my boss to not schedule me with that coworker anymore.. but man when i told my mom abt it last night her first response was "i remember when i had a stalker :]" LADY.. first of all THATS NOT FUNNY second what is the lore you are dropping cuz whaaat (she then threatened to go speak to him and tell him to fuck off she's so slay)

DO U WANT A NAME... you can be one of my lil emoji anons i love you guys :] and it makes it easier to recognize you LMAOO

[mioakem]

My fav song from each era and why

💚🦋- teardrops on my guitar: ughhhh it’s just such a good song, it’s a classic and it’s just so addicting

💛🫶🏻- fearless: THE crush song, I just feel so alive when I listen to it. I know it’s a bit basic but I still love it

💜🎆- enchanted: I know I’m seeming like a local so far but pls pls pls just listen to me 🙏. Enchanted is just so special to me and It just never gets old

💔🎪- everything has changed: it was my surprise song so I’m bias but it’s soooo good. It’s just such a sweet song and is wayyy too overhated

🩵📸- you are in love: I’m just such a hopeless romantic, I love love songs and it’s just such a beautiful song

🖤🐍- call it what you want: I DO WANT TO WEAR HIS INITIAL ON A CHAIN ROUND MY NECK. It’s soooo good I’m actually obsessed with it, but komh is a close second

🩷💍- daylight: again, I’m a hopeless romantic so obv the best love song of all time is gonna be my favorite off lover

🩶🪩- illicit affairs: im such a slut for the bridge. I just love this song sm and I can’t even begin to explain my excitement on Glendale N1 when she did it

🤎🍁- evermore: again, the bridge goes crazy. Honestly this might just be my fav Taylor song of all time. It’s just such a beautiful song

💙🌙- Labyrinth: ughhhhhh I’m so obsessed with this song it’s insane. It’s so beautiful, and ik I say that a lot but I’m being so genuine rn it’s just that

Honorable mentions are Mary’s song, you’re not sorry, timeless, back to December, atwtmv, I know places, komh, dress, Cornelia street, my tears ricochet, exile, tis the damn season, you’re on your own kid, sweet nothing, and every other Taylor song ever

[tadpolesonalgae]

i know you've said you'd write teeth and talons and cbmthy soon but im also waiting on please.. it's so good, i'm kinda scared it will be sad to the end but i wanna read it anyway. and tat and cbmthy as well, i need to know what happens next

I’m sorry this has taken so long, but I’m very happy to say please… part 4 is completed and will be uploaded tomorrow at 19:00 (England) 🧡💛

Little sneak peek below :)

please… Part 4

‘ Your brows furrow, but he lightly applies pressure to the soft hollow on the underside of your mouth, and you lean back into the seat, eyes content to close. It’s such a rare gift, you can’t bring yourself to deny yourself of it from any angle. You need to let the touch sink into your skin, to memorise how it feels, how the warmth seeps in and remains for a little without the stinging pain of leather, or the harsh bite of metal.

His fingers trace up the arch of your ear, light as feathers as you raise into the touch, so desperately seeking more. Your breathing settles into a steady rhythm, deepening with surprising swiftness, falling into the heat of his hands as they soothe your senses. ’