#can’t reveal that context yet to spoil the story

[kyoobie]

More art for the fic I haven’t released yet…

But I know my fellow Klance lovers will appreciate it with or without context :)

[wander-wren]

Are You There, God? It’s Me, Matthew

Time for the promised defense of our favorite asshole, with analysis of my favorite song from the show, “Are You There?”

Brief disclaimers: I haven’t seen a staging of the show in YEARS, so there may be some missing context, but I have done my best. I am also coming at it as a complete outsider, being both an agnostic raised “non-denominational” Christian and someone firmly removed from most of the drama in my own high school.

I want to make this post accessible to non-Bare fans, mostly so I can foist it on my unsuspecting friends, so I will begin with a synopsis and do my best to explain everything.

Bare: A Pop Opera is a coming of age story about two boys, Peter and Jason (secretly dating) at a Catholic boarding school. The central conflict is that Peter is tired of being closeted and wants to come out, but Jason is terrified and refuses. Orbiting them are their friend group, Nadia (Jason’s sister), Ivy, and Matthew, who each have their own set of problems that gets tangled with the boys.

“Are You There?” takes place at the point where all of the setup begins to coalesce into conflict. Our situation is thus: Jason and Peter have had multiple fights over whether or not to come out. Some of this was instigated by a rave they both went to, where they danced together and no one batted an eye; Peter uses this to argue that the world isn’t so harsh, while Jason thinks Peter is naive and a rave is very different from the whole world. We’ve also been introduced to Jason’s father (from Jason’s perspective, at least), who appears to be very hard on his kids and emotionally absent. Jason is also popular and has a reputation as a “ladies man,” whereas Peter seems more reserved, awkward, and unnoticed, which gives Jason more to lose socially by coming out.

In the background, we have Ivy, who has a reputation for sleeping around and seems to be generally regarded as a bit spoiled and vain. We’ve seen her and Nadia trade a lot of insults, but outside of that she seems to be grounded and sweet, and sings a song called “Portrait of a Girl” where she struggles with how people view her.

Nadia isn’t too relevant here, unfortunately, but she’s awesome so everyone say hi Nadia, we appreciate you.

Matt has yet to have too much characterization. He deals drugs to the student population and acts as the ringleader for the rave adventure, but otherwise doesn’t do much. He does have a song called “Wonderland” where he tells the group about some new drug he wants them to try. He also sees Jason and Peter dancing at the rave, but I’m not sure if we know this when “Are You There?” occurs; he reveals it later in another song, but without seeing the whole production I can’t say if we’re meant to know before that. We also know he has a huge crush on Ivy that she doesn’t reciprocate, but she hasn’t outright turned him down.

“Are You There?” takes place during Ivy’s birthday party, a week after the rave. Matt and Peter both escape the party separately; Matt because Ivy rebuffed him and went to dance with Jason, and Peter because Jason is dancing with Ivy. They pray about their issues, then discover they’re not alone outside and talk. Peter comes out to Matt and reveals he and Jason are dating, which Matt at the time accepts.

Later in the show, Matt will start a fistfight with Jason and call him a faggot, and a bit later out him and Peter to their entire class. Based on the fact that Matt only targets Jason, this is less out of homophobia and more out of petty jealousy that Ivy likes Jason instead of him. The outing, among other problems not relevant here (and institutional homophobia, which is relevant), leads Jason to suicide.

So, uh, Matt’s an asshole. But! I like him anyway, and we’re gonna talk about why. Rewind to Ivy’s party, this song, and this pivotal conversation between Peter and Matt.

Matt begins the song by asking God, “Do you know—well of course you do— / What it’s like to stand outside? / To watch the world and wish / you didn’t hurt so much you cried? / I know I’m not the only one / and I know I shouldn’t care / but I feel these things are real / I wish I felt you there / And if I did, I’d ask you / How come life is so unfair?”

I believe this is the one time in the show we see Matt’s real feelings. The rest of the song I think is also probably very genuine, but Matt is the type to put up a front even around his friends, so it’s hard to be sure.

So this gives us a lot of new information about Matthew right away: he feels alone and like an outsider, he’s depressed, he’s conditioned to dismiss his own feelings but doesn’t want to, and he’s struggling with his faith.

I’ve already made a post about the theory that Matt had a relative who died during the school year. You can read that, or, TLDR: A dead girl named Megan Lloyd is referenced in a throwaway line in a song that comes after “Are You There?” Since Matthew’s last name is also Lloyd, it seems like they are probably related, and this could contribute to his behavior/attitude, especially since her death is treated as a joke and never brought up again.

It’s possible that Megan’s death (and its dismissal) contributes to Matt feeling apart and to him wrestling with faith.

(An aside: I do love this song because of it’s opening verses. Something about the interjection of “of course you do” is very humanizing of God and very sweetly telling of the boys’ view/relationship to him. I also think “of course” is one of the best phrases in the English language, generally. Of course.)

Peter sings a verse with similar themes, and the boys sing together: “Are you there? Are you there? / Do you watch me when I cry? / And if it’s in your power / how can you sit idly by? / I try so hard to please you / but you never seem to see / Is it my fate to sit and wait? / Wonder what my struggle means? / I wish I knew that someone out there cared / Cared for me.”

I’ve italicized the lines that Matt sings alone (with Peter singing the lines following each one alone). Overall the chorus doesn’t do too much except nail home how lost and somewhat bitter both boys feel. Matt wishing that someone cared about him serves to highlight his loneliness, even though he has friends and seems popular.

At this point the boys briefly stop singing and just speak. Matt calls, “Who’s out there?” and when Peter responds, “Matt?” he says, “Yeah, are you alright?”

The way Matt says this line in the official cast recording, at least, has always stuck out to me. He sounds so gentle and genuine, and you remember that they’re friends. We see that Matt isn’t oblivious or self-centered, even though on the surface he just seems like he’s being dramatic that his crush doesn’t like him back.

Anyway, the boys sit together and Matt offers Peter some wine. They commiserate vaguely about the party and life, and then Peter admits, “It sucks to be ignored,” to which Matt says (beginning to sing properly again), “Ugh, I know! I always fight to do what’s right / and this is my reward.”

It’s very odd to me that Matt says this. It does make him seem kind of childish and entitled; which, he’s a seventeen year old boy, they can be that way. But I wonder if it’s a hint to some inner world that we’re never properly shown, some moral struggle Matt has. Or he’s just being dramatic. Who knows!

The boys sing together again: “Are you there? Are you there? / Can you make some time for me? / They tell me that you’re out there / And they tell me that you see / I try to find the meaning, God / You know how hard I’ve tried / But I don’t know where I’m going / and I don’t have any guide.”

This verse doesn’t really give us too much that’s new. Wanting more from God and feeling lost are very very common feelings.

Matt then sings, alone, “They said things would get better / but I guess they lied.” This line always makes me want to cry a little bit, this hint at Matt’s utter hopelessness and sort of resignation to it.

Peter then sings, “Are you there? / He needs to give me more,” and Matt agrees, “I’ll drink to that.”

Peter is referring both to God and to Jason, but Matt of course only thinks he’s talking about God. Probably. It is kind of funny to read it as Matt agreeing Jason owes Peter more. But what I’m more interested in is the fact that Peter’s line is diegetic, since Matt responds to it, but Matt’s line right before doesn’t get a response, at least not in this recording. Did Peter hear him say things won’t get better? What would he think about that? Peter seems a pretty hopeful person in spite of it all.

At any rate, Peter continues by saying, “Who cares what people think? / We’re fine, we’ve been through this before / One day he’ll wake up / and realize all he needs is me / Until then, God, I wish I knew / I need a guarantee.”

So here is where the relationship is confirmed to Matthew. Matthew says nothing to him, instead directing his next line back to God: “I need to know for sure that you’ll be there.”

Peter echoes that sentiment and the song proper ends, fading into a soft piano. At this point Matt and Peter begin to dance together, with Matt asking “Who’s leading?” and Peter answering, “I don’t know.” Matt asks “Who usually leads?” thereby acknowledging Peter and Jason’s relationship (and subtly asking who tops, lmao).

Peter whispers into Matt’s ear, which we can assume is him properly coming out, then says goodnight and leaves.

Now. It is absolutely possible to read Matt as deceiving in this song and a so-closeted-he’s-homophobic type of guy, between the dance and his treatment of Jason, but as I said before I don’t believe his behavior is rooted in homophobia. I also don’t believe he was lying about his feelings to earn Peter’s trust and gain information from him. There’s nothing to suggest that is Matt’s goal.

I think Matt is straight and starts the dance as a genuine show of support for Peter. Remember, this show was written and takes place in ~2000. Matt is touching Peter, doing an intimate activity with him, right after Peter has come out. It is extremely significant and sweet. Asking who leads is an even more overt gesture of acceptance; Matt wants to hear about them and what their relationship is like. This moment is unbelievably special and I believe that’s why Peter decides to come out rather than play damage control.

Okay, so, that’s all well and good, but what about the part where Matt’s a total dickhead later on? Well.

Matt fights Jason and calls him a faggot the very next day, but he does so during their rehearsal for the school play, where a fight is already scripted; he just takes it too far and adds the slur, whispered for only Jason. I think that this was a response to Jason dancing with Ivy and Matt wanted to let Jason know he held something over him; I believe that if Jason and Ivy had gone no further, Matt wouldn’t have either.

But instead, when Peter arrives and tries to convince Jason, again, to come out, Jason breaks up with him.

Shortly after (it’s unclear how long; possibly the same day), Ivy approaches Jason to apologize for being so forward at her party. Jason says it’s okay and pretends to reciprocate his feelings, clearly in an attempt to be “normal” and distance himself from his queerness/relationship to Peter. He and Ivy end up having sex, and then everyone splits for spring break.

When they return from break, Ivy asks to meet with Jason before a play rehearsal, where she reveals that she’s pregnant. Jason loses it and they begin to argue. Matt appears, as well as other students ready for rehearsal, and tells Ivy that Jason is gay and will never treat her the way she deserves (like he would, if she would date him).

Peter runs in and asks what’s going on. This is the only time Matt is even a bit mean to him, asking “Ivy’s pregnant and your boyfriend’s the dad / So what does that make you?” Peter tries to deny it, and Matt tells him not to play dumb.

Jason shouts at Matt to shut up and Matt taunts him about seeing them dance at the rave. Jason shouts at him some more, trying to salvage the situation, before Peter reveals that Matt does know what he’s talking about, because Peter told him.

Jason storms out, has a crisis, etc, and ultimately ends up getting drugs from Matt and overdosing on the night of the school play. It’s not clear whether this drug deal was already arranged or not, or why Matt lets an obviously unstable classmate have pills. We don’t get to see his thought process.

I think that Matt genuinely didn’t grasp the severity of what he was doing. He knew it would hurt Jason, but he didn’t expect it to destroy him. As Jason takes the pills, Matt even says, “You know we’re still cool, right?” in a sort of clumsy, teen-guy attempt to smooth things over. It seems to cross his mind what Jason could do with the drugs, but he’s too nervous to confront him about it directly. Maybe he assumes he’ll have more time, to talk to Jason again or warn someone closer to him.

Matt apologizes better to Peter later in the same scene, saying, “Peter, what I did…that was messed up. I didn’t mean to, I’m sorry.” (Peter only replies “It’s done,” for the curious.)

It is interesting how Matt responds differently to each of them, and implies he’s closer and more comfortable with Peter (makes sense, given his animosity/rivalry with Jason). I read this both as a real apology to Peter and an attempt to soothe his guilt over Jason; maybe he’s hoping Peter will put in a good word for him, though Peter and Jason are barely speaking at this point either.

The next we see Matt is in the final song, which takes place during the graduation ceremony. He begins his valedictorian speech, stammering, “I’d like to start with just a— / If we could take a moment— / If maybe we were silent / Or we had spoken / I tried to find the words to— / Just the right quotation / But I must confess I came up empty.”

Matt never seems unsure of himself before now. While metaphorically, yes, he sings a song about uncertainty, he doesn’t stumble over his words or have nothing to say. I would say Matt is acutely aware of his position, and that while he is referencing his speech when he talks about coming up empty, he’s also referring to that last moment of contact. That brief second where he could have said or done anything, could have made a difference, and only let Jason go.

That’s all we have of Matt. A conflicted, lonely, potentially-grieving kid who made a stupid, fucked-up choice in a fit of envy and has to deal with the consequences.

I’m unsure, at the end of all this, whether I have the dominant opinion. I’ve never really interacted with Bare’s fandom. I hope I have the dominant opinion. Matt’s pretty easy to hate and narratives are pretty easy to twist.

But I keep coming back to a dance outside a party. And I don’t believe Bare is a story in black and white.

[tavyliasin]

BG3 FicFeb NSFW - Day 8

This one was a little fun, more suggestive than full action smut but I spoiled you with a longer piece yesterday and still have my Baldur's Date piece to write~ As Tav has tried a great many things, and keeps none of them secret from Astarion as she shares her diary with him as they agreed, there's little he doesn't know about what she wants. But there is one thing she has been loathe to admit out loud... CWs and Tags here are pretty tame~ Voice kink, blindfold use, and a slight hint of power play, praise kink, and a lot of teasing.

Smut below the cut! ----- -----

Day 8 - Tav/Durge Explores A Secret Kink With Their LI

Tav was laying back against Astarion’s chest, his legs either side of her hips and his arms draped loosely around her shoulders, as comfortable as a familiar blanket, a deep feeling of warmth and safety in the embrace. In his hands he held a book they had borrowed from Gale, his head resting against hers. She was the faster reader of the two, so it was little need for him to ask when to turn the pages and continue. The moment of peace was well earned, claiming the room in the Elfsong Tavern for nothing more than a chance to rest while the others sought their own entertainment. Or at least, that was their plan.

“This is ridiculous,” Astarion complained, a hint of amusement in his voice, “a sword like hers would not be able to cut through the thick hide of a fully grown owlbear in one swing. My darling, I am getting the distinct impression the author has not been in a single real fight in his life.” 

Her heart skipped a beat at the sound of his voice, much as she tried to ignore it. “Well, you can’t expect everyone to have the kinds of adventures we’ve had, can you?” A little thought occurred to her in that moment, born of the blush creeping unbidden up her neck at the sound of his quiet laugh close beside her ear. “Maybe you should change the story a little. Read it to me, won’t you? My eyes grow so weary of staring at the pages~”

“Such theatrics, my love,” he kissed her quickly warming cheek as he relented, “very well, now where were we?” 

“The brave heroine took down the foul beast-”

“Of course… So, the body of the creature fell at her feet as her breasts heaved from the effort.” He hummed quietly in thought, the feeling vibrating from his chest to her back. “Do they really heave? Well. Moving on.”  

—

Astarion continued reading, his voice soft by Tav’s ear, noticing with a hidden smile how her body was growing warmer without a single touch, her head leaning back more onto his shoulder and her eyes fluttering closed. 

Perfect, he thought to himself with a devious idea, now she will have no idea when I change the story…

He was subtle at first, changing a few lines to a slightly more seductive context, taking note of how she reacted. Then he began to lower the book, freeing his hand to caress her soft skin, almost surprised to note just how hot and flush she felt. 

“Should I stop reading now, darling?” He kissed her ear softly, a pleased shudder through her back palpable against his chest.

“Please don’t,” she whispered, “I…like hearing your voice.” 

“Next time I will have to ask for one of his more lewd novels then, if you enjoy those stories more~” The last words came with a slight growl, earning a small gasp from her parted lips.

“It isn’t that,” even her breathing was quickened, “you could be reading the most boring treatise on the proper use of illusion magic and I would feel the same…”

“You have some very strange taste in erotic literature, love~” He continued to speak soft and low, putting more playfulness into the tone, relishing how her body would subtly move of its own accord.

“I…” She paused, as if embarrassed to go on.

“Tell me, my love,” he kissed along the edge of her ear again, a few teasing bites with sharp yet gentle teeth. “What is it you desire? I have read all of your exploits in the diary we share, and played my part in many. Nothing you could reveal would make me think less of you.” 

“Your voice…” She moaned as he continued to tease her with the slightest touch. “I…really love the sound of your voice.” 

“Why didn’t you say so sooner, darling? That is an easy wish to grant you…” He stroked her hair softly before bringing his hand over her eyes. “Shall I take your vision from you, so you can hear me more clearly?”

—

Tav couldn’t stop the moan from slipping out into the quiet room. “Please, Astarion-” 

“Then hold still, love, I will give you everything you want.” He reached over to grab a small dagger he kept in easy reach even now - old habits die hard after all - and cut away the silken cover of a nearby cushion. 

The fabric strip easily covered her eyes, blocking out the remaining light. The removal of one sense had the tendency to heighten the others temporarily, and she felt the truth in that with every word. 

“Now, not a word from you, but there is no need to stay silent…let me hear how I make you feel~” Astarion’s voice melted through her, soft as velvet, long practised seduction this time without any false promises. 

She nodded, just a small sound with it not finding a full syllable on her tongue.

“Good, darling, just like that.” He purred, wrapping his arms around her waist and caressing the line of her hip. “Your body is astonishing, how just a few words can have you squirming against me without so much as a kiss upon your soft lips.”

As he spoke, Tav’s body responded again, without any input from her will. His fingertips found her wrist, trailing up to her elbow.

“Such strength and skill, and yet all it takes is a little talk and you’re already melting into me.” His teasing was infuriating. “Should I continue telling you everything I love about your body, how you moan so sweetly for me, how I want nothing more than to rip off your clothes right now and taste every part of you…”

Tav nearly stopped breathing, already feeling the depth of her lust pooling deep in her stomach, every muscle in her body coiled tense like a spring…

“Or shall I make good on that promise, and keep talking while I do it?” His hands drifted away from their soft caressing, depriving her of any touch but his body against her back and his lips on her neck.

“Please…anything, just so long as I can hear you.” She begged, forgetting the one instruction that she had been given.

“Naughty little darling,” he purred with an edge of seductive threat, “but I will forgive you this once.”

Tav felt him press a line of kisses from her neck to her ear, directing the power of his voice to the very centre of her desire.

“Truth be told, love, your own voice can have a similar effect on me when I hear you beg so very beautifully for my affections~”

[maybe-boys-do-love]

On episode 8 of Last Twilight now and perturbed about how Day and Mhok are casually cruel to each other in a way that I don’t think the narrative indicates is as mean-spirited as it is. After feeling butt-hurt about getting teased, Mhok pranks Day by pretending to leave him stranded??? Day’s initiating prank isn’t as cruel but it def reiterates how he has still yet to contend for his spoiled attitude that has been explicitly stated as preceding the onset of his condition, so we can’t read it as related to his growing acceptance of himself as a blind person. That brattiness really impacts so many people, though, including Mhok, and I’m just waiting for it to be dealt with by the story, because I actually find his character pretty unbearable (And I love spoiled brats in my romances!)

I hopped on tumblr specifically to see if others had reactions to it while watching, and no one else seemed to note it, but this episode is really the first indication that despite all the research and detailed depictions about the facts and routines required for blindness (truly the first piece of media I’ve seen to go into this level of depth!), the series is missing out on the felt experiences of blind people to an extent, and relying on our pity for Day’s condition and its impact to his self-esteem to make him likable as a lead, since really not much else has been done. And that would all be fine if the show had an intention behind it, but I don’t see it yet. I don’t see much work being done, either, to construct Mhok’s character for us as truly showing Day kindness that’s not directly related to supporting him with the challenges he faces due to his blindness. So once again, it relies on our pity for Day’s blindness to make us care about Mhok, too. Adding this to the disconnect I feel regarding the actors’ chemistry just renders the whole thing a bit flat for me.

With the Aof pieces I’ve seen so far, he usually has developed a really grounded pathos for his bratty or resistant characters by this point (Pran’s forced transfer and watery eyes in bed in episode 4, Pete trying to maintain his single mother’s reputation at work, Uncle Jim’s grief, Tian’s shame about his heart transplant, and P’Med is just literally dead). When we compare the those characters to Day, we can see how most of them relate to their conflicted sense of obligation to others. Centering Day's emotions about his blindness makes his character self-centered and harder to root for.

I recognize there are elements related to Day’s family yet to be revealed that will add some depth to his character (hopefully outside of the context his condition but my expectations are low). Still, if I had watched this scene while it was airing, I would’ve been pissed and wary. I probs would’ve tried to keep my faith because it’s Aof, but even with my tendency toward a generous interpretation of writers’ work, this is ringing alarms.

[eldritch-muppetshow]

onceler askblog digital horror/arg brainstorm session, go

(tw: implied suicide ideation within the story)

(also major spoilers for an arg that doesn’t exist yet and may not happen. i’m not super concerned abt spoiling people though, because in the end i want to get this idea out there somehow even if it never fully materializes beyond these notes)

story

- have “starting point” be a fake blog planted into the onceler fandom as an “archive” of old fandom content, with particular interest in a since-deleted blog that no one can seem to find

- set up the “lost” blog with a url that makes it seem like it’s been deactivated. it’s not, but it’s password-protected so that no one can access its contents right off the bat

- have the fake fandom blog rb select posts from the “lost” blog, hiding the horror content until people unlock it by finding and entering the password

- hide hints of the password to the “lost” blog in the fandom blog’s content

- The reveal is that the onceler featured on the “lost” blog is in fact still alive (probably with some body horror-laden imagery bc you know me), still aware of everything after 10+ years and desperate for reprieve but unable to truly rest in any material sense. at this point, the setting and plotline of the blog has withered away to nothing— all that remains is the main character, driven mad after losing everything he knew + understood, being isolated for over a decade, and yet still persisting after everything around him is gone

- the players’ new goal is to find the password that will deactivate the blog. lots of dramatic irony in how the featured onceler seems to believe it will put him out of his misery, but the reader knows it will not fully “release” him in the sense of erasing him from existence— he will still live on in other people’s memories and reinterpretation of the character. leave the reader uncertain if he is truly “free”

- tie in the horror of the persistence of an idea/art; the idea that you can’t fully “kill” an idea once it’s out there, the horror of being permanently defined by/praised for art that you aren’t proud of— and the persistence of a character beyond what you wanted to set as the end of their “life” under your writing

what is this project trying to say (if it’s meant to say anything at all)?

- basically an elaborate commentary on death of the author in fandom and the persistence of ideas, through the lens of a fanon/au character as a sapient being. the loss of the setting/characters surrounding the “lost” onceler is one big metaphor for how popular au characters in fanon tend to lose the context surrounding them as people only make content for a single popular character— and in turn, they only remember that character

- (could also be commentary about how almost nobody gives a damn about the rest of the 2012 lorax movie outside the onceler, but eh)

- a pretty interesting thought exercise i’ve had is: can you name the original creator of underswap? what about the creator of underfell? or the heroic au in the villainous fandom? i’m sure there’s someone reading this who does remember, but my point is: these aus and characters persisted long after the creators’ involvement with their respective fandoms, and they’ve shifted enough from the original author’s intent that if you ask a couple fandom members “who are these characters”, i guarantee they’ll all have a slightly different answer.

- despite how the project is written, the intended message isn’t necessarily “we need to stop using characters/aus FOREVER if the creator stops being involved with them”. i consider the dark aspects of the story moreso a byproduct of its status as a digital horror story (and my own fears as an artist) rather than a deliberate condemnation of fanon persisting after the creator stops their involvement. because there are cases where the creator willingly gives their art to the community, or is otherwise fine with people continuing it in their place

- also i’m gonna have to set up a fuckton of blogs for this if i’m gonna make this a fully-immersive experience and not rely too much on the suspension of disbelief lol

[eyebright-iris]

Review: The Priory of the Orange Tree by Samantha Shannon

Where to begin. I think I’d forgotten how it feels to be breathless in the wake of a truly incredible book, heart racing and hands shaking against the back cover. Shoutout to Samantha Shannon for reminding me of that feeling.

The Priory of the Orange Tree is a beautiful flame-coloured hardback that has haunted my shelves since 2019 when it first came out and I grabbed it because it sounded dope, looked gorgeous and there were dragons on it (your first special interest never quite leaves you). After about three and a half years, and after resolving to read every day of 2023, I decided enough was enough; time to tackle this beast.

While other works of Shannon’s have been on my TBR before, Priory is the first of hers I’ve read. It’s my return to epic high fantasy after a long absence, and I can’t say I’m disappointed. Far from it, in fact. This book rattles with its own intensity, the stakes for each character, the rising romance and drama and the freefall towards devastation that builds all the way until about book five of six (for context, the huge 800-page novel is split into six smaller “books”).

I adored Priory. This review will likely be tragically short in an effort to avoid spoiling some of the fantastic reveals and brilliant storytelling, but for now I’ll discuss the things I loved so much about it without revealing too much.

Our four narrator characters are brilliant. They are flawed, messy, human and devoted. Ead is a secret mage tasked with protecting the Queen of a foreign nation; Loth is a kind and devout young man with much responsibility and too sweet and authentic a heart for the puppeteering courts he finds himself in; Niclays Roos is a bitter and jaded old alchemist with a deep core of darkness and a fierce hunger in him; and Tané is a 19-year-old striving to prove herself and take up the mantle of an honoured dragonrider. All four of them work to bring the rich world of the novel to life, each from a different background, with different goals, all eventually clashing and - perhaps, if the greatest evil is to be overcome - aligning.

I’ll briefly touch on the diversity in Priory. Of our four narrators, two (Ead and Tané) are female; both are also women of colour (Ead is black, and while Priory does not take place in our own world, Tané’s home of Seikii shows clear parallels with Japan). Niclays is the only white narrator, and he is gay; Loth is black. Ead and Queen Sabran are both lesbians, and for those who, like me, fall on the aro/ace spectrum, Tané’s arc has no hint of romance, and there is a strong case for aroace Tané. Not only do we have diversity, but well-written diversity too (I know that you can have all the representation you want, it’s not really worthwhile if it’s all terrible). Shannon draws on both Western and Eastern mythology for this fantasy epic, split between two great worlds of the East and West, divided by a vast sea known as the Abyss. Yet within the hemispheres there is conflict and diversity, Seiiki and the Empire of Twelve Lakes in the East, and the various states of the West - Inys, Mentendon, Yscalin, Lasia, Hróth…

One of the greatest aspects of Priory is the way it interrogates history and genre. A story of a queendom ruled only by women, passed down from mother to daughter for a thousand years, sounds feminist until you realise there is more below the surface. When a queendom is passed unfailingly from mother to daughter, everything suddenly hinges on a woman’s ability to give birth - and how feminist does that sound now? There is also the brilliant weaving of conflicting histories, and how those histories have shaped the world as it exists. Institutions that are founded on a single principle, says Priory, will invariably corrupt everything around themselves to maintain that course, even when new evidence says otherwise. When those who claim to know the truth still operate with only half the story, even they can see the real truth as a threat to the status quo.

Priory sings with vibrancy, it clamours with depth. Not a single character comes out unscathed, but that of course begs the question that the novel, on some level, is asking: what is the price we pay for tomorrow? What is it worth to us, what will we lose, to see the sun rise on a better world?

[dxitydoo]

Okay it is now morning!

So!

I can tell you a lil bit about 1 and 3, just can’t necessarily tell you the context of the lines coz they’re from chapters that aren’t published yet.

So 1 is from a chapter that I’ve had written for a Long Time (I think I had it written back in 2020 kinda long). It’s from a miraculous ladybug fic I’m writing called And They Were Housemates. It’s on my ao3 if you wanna check it out. Here’s the link for you if you’re interested:

I don’t wanna say too much more coz the chapter isn’t out yet but it hopefully will be soon. But if you do read it you can probably put the pieces together and work out the rough context of what it’s about. But don’t worry. I got an entire 2 more chapters about it yet to post so it’s not spoiling everything.

3 is from a fic I’ll possibly finish one day. It’s based on a show called Chuck made by NBC (which is relevant coz I’ve found that the easiest way to find stuff about it is to type NBC Chuck so). Basically a guy accidentally downloads a top secret government database into his brain because of some Incredibly Hand Wavy Science Shenanigans and then the CIA and the NSA send their top agents to protect him.

In s3, he and the love interest of the show decide to run away together. Eventually the other characters catch up to them and get them to sit down and talk and they realise that neither of them actually wants to run away so they don’t. Later in the same season, the computer in his head (known as the Intersect) starts malfunctioning. So this fic was an AU or s3 where they actually ran away and the Intersect still malfunctions but this time they’re on the run and can’t access help. And it was my idea of what might happen then. As I said, it’s in the very early stages of writing so I don’t really have anything other than a bullet pointed list of things that might happen. But I like the idea and I love the show so maybe one day I’ll write it properly.

2 I can give you the most info on, however.

So as I said, 2 is from a rewrite of a story I wrote back in 2018 I think? It’s called Attempted Murder is Still Illegal. You can find it in various places atm if you’re interested tho the original version is a bit eh now, hence the rewrite. It was based on a writing prompt which may have been from a writing prompt book I had? I can’t remember.

The original synopsis sums it up pretty well imo:

Alfie Sawyer technically didn't exist. Or, at least, he hadn't existed until a few months ago.

After a failed attempt on his life, reclusive billionaire Oscar Brady goes into hiding.

Reinventing himself as private investigator, Alfie Sawyer, he vows to find the person who had almost cost him his life and make them pay.

Joined by well-known freelance detective, Jacob Wilson, Alfie starts the hunt. As the case progresses, the two find themselves warming up to each other and, for better or for worse, a budding romance begins to form between them.

But Jacob has a few secrets of his own: secrets that, if revealed, could cost them everything.

Tho, like I said, some parts of the plot are changing a smidgen for various reasons.

But anyway I love Alfie and Jake. My boys. My beloveds. (Tho really I feel I can only claim co-parental ownership at this point with my friend who beta’d the whole thing for me the first time around and has also helped me come up with many ideas for the characters)

Every now and then I’ll go back to this story and I’ll write a bit more about the characters coz I genuinely love them. I’ve written a couple of mini short stories about them aside from the main story. I once used them in a marked piece of work for uni. One time I was really into assassins creed so I started writing essentially an assassins creed AU of AMISI. Stuff like that.

Sometimes friends quote lines from this one at me and I think it’s quite funny. I also occasionally reference it myself coz it’s a bit of an inside joke at this point. Mostly the “I meant your cup” line. That one seemed to be a favourite for quoting at me lol.

But yeah. I had to reread what I have so far for the rewrite for this post and idk I usually get very judgey about my writing coz. Well. I wrote it y’know. But rereading it, I was genuinely enjoying it and was So Annoyed when I only had 2 chapters. So maybe I’ll go back to it soon. That would be nice. Tho of course I’m a fool and I don’t know where all my notes for the new plot line have gone so. Fun fun.

🌹🌹🌹

You put three roses and I wasn’t sure whether you wanted 3 sentences from 1 WIP or 1 sentence each from 3 WIPs but I figured the latter was more interesting? Technically only one of these is really actively ongoing atm but one day I’ll return to the other two promise.

This one is from a fanfic that I’m writing. It started as a short slightly cracky premise and accidentally grew angst and about 20 more chapters so.

He could feel each memory slip away like sand in an hourglass and he could feel the empty hole it left behind.

This one is from a rewrite of a story I wrote years ago. One day I will actually finish this rewrite coz I actually really like these characters and I miss them. You can have two lines for this one coz I think it makes more sense.

It wasn’t just the ever-busy aisles filled with people far too busy to be in a supermarket at this time of day; or the people who swung their trollies around each corner, not caring who or what they knocked down in their determination to get in and get out in thirty minutes tops—though they certainly didn’t make the experience anymore enjoyable. But, even after three months, Alfie still found himself constantly fighting the urge to check over his shoulder.

Okay I was gonna put another original work in here but i couldn’t find the one I was looking for so instead, here. Have a line from a fic I have barely started which is for a somewhat obscure fandom.

He’d thought he’d caught Sarah looking at him once or twice after he’d taken a few seconds too long to respond, her expression calculated, unreadable, but she’d never said anything and he’d never volunteered anything.

I tried to keep them somewhat vague coz the first one especially is technically mild spoilers for that fic. The second one is less of an issue coz the original story is finished and published online but I wanted to change some things in the rewrite so y’know. (Tho I will quite happily answer questions about it coz I adore these characters). And the third one is literally just two paragraphs rn so don’t wanna get anyone’s hopes up.

[crapmagak]

Engage Drip Marketing: Clan

Whelp, looks like we’re getting characters every Thursday and Friday. It may not seem like a lot, but we have around 17 weeks until this game comes out, so potentially over thirty characters will be revealed. Not only that, but there will probably be surprise recruits that won’t be spoiled by drip marketing.

Today, we finally learn the name of the male twin… Kind of. These are ultimately shaky translations of the japanese name. Still, gotta call him something, and Clan seems to be the most common interpretation I’m seeing.

Translations of the first tweet goes...

Clan is a 33rd generation "Dragon Guardian", protecting the Divine Dragon in the Holy Land of Lithos. He defends Alear together with Vander. Is the twin brother of Flan, and was beside Alear when they woke up. A gentle boy, he takes care of Alear as part of his job but is also a fan of them.

The personality tweet goes…

Clan's self-introduction. A young boy with a kind air about him. His hair is braided on the opposite side of Flan's.

The dialogue is…

Clan: "Sorry, I was so shocked earlier that I didn't even introduce myself... I'm a 33rd generation Dragon Guardian, Clan. Pleased to meet you."

Note: All of these translations were kindly done by twitter user SatsumaFS

So, all in all, Clan seems to be what was on the box. Such things are to be expected from a character featured heavily in the trailer. Still, nice, soft boy characters are always pretty appealing. Him being in the 33rd generation of Dragon Guardians is interesting though, I guess because when Engage comes out it’ll be around 33 years since the first game. This also confirms that Vander is only a generation above the rest of the cast making him a dilf rather than a gilf. This is important information. Trust me.

Another thing I’d like to get into is that in the trailers, we can see that Clan has an engage form with Micaiah. He’s shown with it in a chapter where the playable characters are level 9, and the enemies are level 11. Pretty soon, all things considered. So, there will likely be a map or two where Clan has a lot of story relevance. I’m curious to see how that all ends up shaking out.

Now, as for his class tweet and clip…

Clan's starting class is Mage. Fires magic using tomes, good for hitting enemies that are far away or armored.

It’s confirmed Clan is a basic mage, but it’s neet to get one so early. I am curious about how mages will shake out in these games. Tomes have no class advantage, so it seems we’re relying on the classic “only five classes have magic resistance worth a damn” balancing act. But, considering Clan also has a wind tome in his inventory, I’m curious. Will mages be like in the gba games, where anima magic scales from Fire < Thunder < Elfire and so on. Or will it be like awakening where fire, wind, and thunder tomes each have their own divisions of and ranks? In awakening, fire magic felt kind of useless, not as fast or good at taking out flying units like wind, nor as strong and crit happy like thunder. Still, I guess that’s something that's yet to be seen.

Also, I think the mage’s crit animations are definitely benefiting from the new crit format. In the past, their crit animations have always been a bit lackluster compared to those with weapons. The reasons are obvious, the action and motion lies in the spells themselves, and you can’t make a new crit animation for every spell. Getting a close up shot of the mage, seeing them surround themselves in spectral pages, really manages to sell them charging power, though. Perhaps when we see sages and sorcerers, we’ll get to see them do stuff like float as they charge too.

As for the map itself, we have a lot to chew on. It’s pretty big in comparison to the others, and it’s one we saw briefly in the first trailer, when Framme was showing off her martial arts moves. Now that we see the map, we have a bit more context.

First, Clan is level 4 at the start, and characters like Chloe and Louis are already in the starting positions, meaning this map likely takes place right after the windmill chapter that was heavily showcased in the trailer. The area seems to be a castle of sorts, perhaps even the one showcased on the map. We see blue banners along the walls, with five petaled flowers depicted. From a story perspective, it’s likely that Elusian forces have captured the Firenesse castle, and it’s up to our heroes to recapture it. Still, I’m rather surprised we’re already doing something like this so soon.

The map itself is divided into three sections. We have the main stairs at the bottom, where our heroes start. In the upper left, we have a path leading to a treasure vault. To the upper right, we have a throne room. It seems that door keys, chests, and breakable walls will return in Engage, and this is the chapter where they’re introduced. There's also some conscious enemy placement, like having a group of fighters next to a group of myrmidons, so the player has to be careful with their spear fighters. All in all, seems like a fun time.

As for story predictions, it’s likely that after Lythos is invaded, our heroes are transported to Firenesse, and in a vision, the little girl who’s obviously the divine dragon gives Alear their quest (find the twelve rings, stop the fell dragon). Our heroes then run into Alfred and Celine, along with their likely retainers. Then they come across a group of corrupted attacking a village, and two Firenesse soldiers (Chloe and Louis) need their help. Once the chapter’s over, our heroes learn that the Elusians are invading, and our heroes head out to recapture the capital.

Again, I’m kind of surprised at such a fast plot progression. Hopefully this means we’re in for a dense story, and not a short one.

[siswritesyanderes]

If it had been Jasper-Sadie or Alice-Sadie as the vampires and finding their third later, how if at all would any of the “prior” story (the Twilght saga proper) have changed?

This turns the timeline inside out, but Meyer was never great at those anyway.

(Hi, if you're from the Twilight fandom stumbling across this post without context, Sadie is my OC in a yandere Alice/yandere Jasper/OC fic that you can read here.)

Ohhh, so much potential there! I can't answer that in full, because doing so would spoil what Sadie's potential vampire ability is. (Super sorry about that. Feel free to ask again after that information has come up in Rule One!)

I can say that both Bella and Edward would take to confiding in her and seeking her counsel with regards to their relationship. Especially if it's a Sadie-Alice duo; Edward would be super close with both Sadie and Alice (like he's close with Alice in canon), and while he sometimes gets frustrated with Alice, he pretty much always respects Sadie. It's like, Alice would be Bella's best friend and Edward's partner in crime (since she's still the one who would agree to kidnap Bella, whereas Sadie would never), and Sadie would be Bella's confidante and Edward's moral compass. Both Bella and Edward would go to Sadie for advice about each other, and Sadie, though startled by their neediness, would always have something valuable to say.

(Picture Bella or Edward bursting into Sadie's room with a question, and Sadie, wide-eyed, putting down whatever she's doing and saying, "Alrighty then, have a seat.)

Edward trusts that Sadie wouldn't lie to him, so the urgency in having Bella run to him in Italy before he sparkles in front of people (lest he read Alice's thoughts and assume she's lying to him) wouldn't be a thing; Sadie just runs Bella to Edward with vampire speed and is subjected to that whole reunion as an awkward third wheel while Alice parks the stolen car.

Also, Sadie would tip every fight slightly more in favor of the Cullens, but she would also have a habit of really wanting to talk to the enemies instead of attacking them. This is good/useful with the Volturi but not so good/useful with Victoria and Riley.

Oh! Also, Sadie would realize that Victoria will probably follow Edward's scent, in Eclipse, and Sadie would accompany him and Bella in sitting the battle out, so that they have more backup against Victoria. Jasper and Alice wouldn't be privy to the fact that Victoria is coming; this is just a realization that Sadie has that Edward hears in her mind. (As far as Jasper and Alice are concerned, Sadie is sitting the battle out just to be safe, and they're happy that she won't be in harm's way.) This is where Sadie's need to talk to enemies would become a problem, because both Victoria and Riley are too far gone to listen to reason, but Sadie really believes in them and wants to convince them they don't have to die today. It still turns out fine, though. Sadie gets a little hurt, but she's fine. Alice and Jasper would be absolutely smothering, after. Victoria is lucky she's already dead, because they would make her suffer.

And Sadie would think to explain things to Irina before Alice realizes that Irina is going to the Volturi, so that whole misunderstanding never happens.

All of that being said, the thought of "Yandere Alice meets Sadie first" and "Yandere Jasper meets Sadie first" got really interesting to me. So I have to talk about those scenarios immediately.

I'm going to place Sadie sometime in the twentieth century in both cases, and I'm going to try to let the time period matter as little as possible, but feel free to imagine them in 50s or 60s attire, lol. (Or 70s or 80s; again, it doesn't matter that much; I'm just placing her in the twentieth century to keep the rough order of events the same, kind of.) I'm approaching this with the assumption that Alice and Jasper still become vampires in the same way/at the same time as they do in canon; they just meet at different times. I'm not dealing with the Confederate thing here, though, because I'll be dealing with it in Rule One.

I'm gonna go ahead and put it all under the cut. (And if your experience of Rule One is more invested in the potential for wholesome romance than the yandere aspect, maybe the rest of this isn't for you, because this is definitely more yandere-leaning, lol.)

Alice-Sadie

Alice knows three things: 1. Her own name. 2. That she is going to join the Cullens. 3. That Sadie, whom she has not yet met, is her soulmate.

Though she slips up every now and then, Alice does her best not to eat humans. She wants to fit in with the Cullens by the time she finds them, so she's accustoming herself to the animal diet. Anyway, she has a mate out there whom she will meet as a human, and she has to get herself under control before she can risk being around her.

The thing is, Alice knows about Sadie before Sadie is actually an option, so she has to kill time so that she doesn't meet Sadie too early. And Alice hates waiting, so she goes ahead and introduces herself to the Cullens before Sadie. She tells them all about how she'll have a soulmate soon, and how it's killing her to keep her distance but she knows things will be way better if she never meets Sadie as a child. She decorates her room with things that Sadie likes, anticipating that one day she'll be sharing the room with Sadie. Honestly, if it weren't for Edward's mind reading, the rest of the Cullens might think Sadie was an imaginary friend or something.

(Rosalie would normally take issue with Alice's plans to intrude on the life of a human she's never met just because of a potential future where they're in love, but she doesn't really take Alice's fantasizing seriously until it's too late.)

One day, Alice just sort of disappears from the Cullen house, and only Edward knows where she's gone.

Sadie is finally at the right age; it's time.

Alice appears in Sadie's life, and everything she says and does is perfect. She rockets from stranger to friend to best friend at an impressive rate, her precognition easily compensating for Sadie's hesitancy (and Sadie would start off more wary than she is in Rule One, due to the time period). Having left the rest of the Cullens, for the time being, there is nothing (read: no one) holding Alice back from being absolutely surgical about making herself important in Sadie's life and subtly isolating her. She gives expensive gifts, and comprehensive compliments, and she always knows what to say to make Sadie like and trust her more.

When Sadie starts to become suspicious about the evolution of their friendship, Alice drops the vampire bomb and the soulmate bomb all at once, showing Sadie her speed and strength and sparkles. There was no better way to do it. Alice checked; this was the absolute best set of circumstances for the reveal.

Sadie asks for time to process the information. She asks for space. Alice graciously allows it; she's practically living with Sadie at this point, anyway. (Not that Sadie knows it. But yeah, she's in Sadie's house pretty much 24/7 (minus her hunting trips), dodging notice with stealth and psychic powers.)

When Sadie is ready to talk again, Alice pours out every reassurance: how she will never stop loving her; how she would never hurt her; how she thinks about her all the time and loves her so much. Sadie isn't fully won over by the whole vampire lover concept, but Alice does convince her to come meet her family.

They go to the Cullen house. Alice shows her off to everyone, and Rosalie is stunned, and Emmett laughs incredulously. Edward and Carlisle make polite introductions, and Esme hugs her, just glad to see Alice so happy. (Esme has been so worried about her newest daughter, so flighty and constantly pining for someone who wasn't there. And then she disappeared, and anything could have happened to her! But now she's back, and she's brought someone lovely, and she looks happier than Esme has ever seen her.) Carlisle and Edward give Sadie a more in-depth explanation of how vampires operate and why the bond between mates is a big deal. Esme cooks her a huge meal. Before they know it, nighttime has come, and Sadie falls asleep in Alice's room.

She wasn't drugged or anything; Alice just perfectly orchestrated a set of circumstances in which she would be tired by this exact time.

When she wakes up, Alice is an utter angel, offering her breakfast and a bath and telling her that there's more to see, around the house. She hasn't seen Rosalie's garage, yet! She hasn't seen Esme's garden. And soon enough she's sleeping over again.

On that third day at the house, Rosalie pulls Sadie aside to say that she'll drive Sadie home, if Sadie needs her to. But Alice has done her job well; Sadie likes Alice, and she likes the Cullens, and most of all, she's so curious about vampires and the world thereof. She's willing to stay and learn, provided she can visit her friends and family, and provided Alice doesn't try to change her. She fills several journals with what she learns about vampires, all in the span of a single year. She learns so much, and she's never satisfied that she's learned enough.

When Alice asks her to let Carlisle change her, she chooses exactly the right conversation, exactly the right approach, and exactly the right time. Sadie agrees and becomes a vampire. (She kind of has to, for this prompt, lol.) Rosalie is annoyed, but she knows that Sadie thought the matter over thoroughly.

When the day comes that Alice sees Jasper in their future, she drags Sadie off to meet him, barely explaining herself beyond "We have another mate!". Sadie goes along with it because she's used to Alice's antics.

They meet this crimson-eyed, roguishly handsome vampire, and Jasper is pretty instantly enthralled with them both. He's curious about their golden eyes, charmed by Alice's forwardness, and amused by Sadie's mix of intrigue and wariness. The emotional flavor of Alice's joy and cheerfulness, and of Sadie's curiosity and uncertainty, are enough to pretty much have him wrapped around their fingers right away.

Sadie's reaction is more "Ohhhh, Alice, this guy eats people..."

Alice just goes, "It's okay. Jasper will be willing to change his diet if we ask him to. Won't you, Jasper?"

And it's so presumptuous, but also he's into it, because Sadie has already made it clear that eating humans is a deal-breaker for her, and he doesn't want this meeting to end.

He joins the family, and it feels like the best thing ever; he has two amazing soulmates, and he belongs to a large coven that will always be safe from strangers. The animal-eating thing is a downside, but there's no help for that.

The dynamic for the next little while is that Alice is already in love with both Jasper and Sadie, Jasper is already in love with Alice and Sadie, and Sadie is in love with Alice and polite to Jasper but isn't quite sure about him. Like, she's in a peculiar place of "We are soulmates, and I do like you and feel an attraction to you, and I understand how our personalities are good together, but I don't know how long it'll take me to become comfortable with your past", and Jasper is just falling over himself to earn her approval, but she's comfortable with allowing it to take time.

(Rosalie is secretly very entertained by the whole thing, and Emmett is not-so-secretly entertained.)

Unlike in canon, Jasper would never suggest eating any human ever again; even once Sadie is comfortable with him, he never wants to risk making her doubt him the way she did in the beginning.

Jasper-Sadie

So at this point in his life, Jasper is eating people. His eyes are bright red, and he is ruthless, and Alice isn't around to temper that side of him.

This is absolutely a kidnapping situation.

When he runs into Sadie (entirely by happenstance), he doesn't know immediately that he is in love with her; he just knows that he wants to follow her, so he does. He stalks after her like he has stalked lots of prey in the past. Her blood doesn't sing to him, though; after several hours of just tailing her, he realizes that he just likes to hear her breathe and speak and laugh. He likes to look at her. He likes to taste her emotions on the air. He likes this human.

Then he realizes that he's in love with her, as much as Peter is in love with Charlotte.

He never wants to stop looking at her, listening to her talk...

He manages to get her alone, and he introduces himself in a charismatic, gentlemanly fashion. He kisses the back of her hand (managing to ignore the feel and sound of her pulse so close; he shouldn't take a risk like that again) and says, "Good afternoon, ma'am. My name is Jasper Whitlock. May I ask what your name is?"

She notices the coldness of his skin and the redness of his eyes (and again, time-period-wise, this interaction is very weird), but he is sending her the most powerful waves of comfort and calm that he can. She is dazed and perplexed, but not afraid, as she answers, "I'm Sadie Gilder."

It's the most beautiful name he has ever heard.

He abducts her pretty much then and there; he leads her away with a request that she accompany him and a heavy layer of mood control. Sadie is able to break out of the daze (through sheer overthinking) after they've walked together awhile; by the time she asks, "Wait, where are we?", they've reached the secluded mansion of an old widow.

(Jasper doesn't need a place to sleep, but his Sadie does, so he quickly identified this place as the best option.)

The order in which Jasper eats the occupants of the house and brings Sadie inside the house is up to your imagination, as is whether or not Sadie ends up seeing any bodies or seeing him with blood on his face and clothes. Either way, just the kidnapping itself is enough to have Sadie panicking, and he hates to feel her fear.

He holds her, gives her calming energy, and whispers to her. "Don't be scared. I won't hurt you, Perfect Sadie. I won't eat you. You're too special. Just gonna keep you right here." (He's just eaten a lot of people, so he's okay with breathing right next to her, so that he can keep whispering to her.) She falls asleep in his arms. He doesn't stop holding her, and he doesn't stop whispering. (Also, remember how the first thing he says to Sadie in Rule One is that she's warm and soft? Yeah, he still says that, pretty much verbatim, in this scenario. I'm not putting it in quotes, because it sounds dirty in a kidnapping context, but he for sure says it.)

The next day, since he's keeping up the comforting vibes to keep her from being afraid, Sadie asks Jasper a lot of questions. He tells her everything he knows about vampires. He isn't fully versed in vampire mating, so he isn't able to really inform her that his obsession with her is, to some degree, an inherent vampire trait, but he is very good at conveying to her that he is obsessed.

With no one to tell him to cool it with his power, and with his diet of human blood making his power more potent than it would be on animal blood, Jasper uses it at pretty much full capacity every time, instead of subtle shifts in emotion. So, while Sadie does notice that it's happening, she can't keep herself from the effects of his power by self-awareness alone.

He generally doses her with the same kind of peaceful calm he uses when he meets strange vampires for the first time, instead of the lethargic calm he uses to keep prey docile. He uses the latter when he wants her to sleep, but for the most part he just wants her to be unfearful and communicative.

She eats the food that's in the house. When he's able to convince himself to leave her unattended (usually after he's put her to sleep), he picks up more groceries and abducts some humans for himself. He keeps them in the cellar, far enough away from Sadie that she needn't know they're there but close enough that he can still hear her when he goes down to eat them. It's actually very convenient, not to have to hunt often; he just has to pop down to the cellar and enjoy a few of the already-injured occupants. Having a steady home has its upside. It's a shame someone will eventually notice the widow missing and he'll have to move with Sadie. But there will always be another empty mansion, or a mansion that can be easily made empty.

(When it's time to change homes, Jasper carries Sadie to the new destination while she's sleeping.)

Partially due to the mood control and partially due to the upfront-ness of everything, there's honestly very little tension between them. There's fear, sometimes (The one time Sadie tries to leave the mansion while Jasper is eating, he runs up from the cellar to stop her, and he's still covered in blood, and she's terrified, and it takes him a lot of soothing to get her calm again. It upsets him when she's scared.), but no tension. Sadie would like to leave, but she gathers that she can't, so all there is to do is maneuver within the new situation and learn more about her captor.

And neither of them is inherently a romantic. Jasper loves her, but even he isn't under the impression that they're dating or something. As far as he's concerned, he's keeping her; as far as she's concerned, she's studying him. Jasper is ecstatic with the arrangement, and Sadie is as comfortable as the situation allows.

Peter and Charlotte follow Jasper's scent at some point, wanting to hang out, and Jasper socializes with them outside the mansion, explaining that they can't go in because there's a human inside whom he is invested in keeping alive, and he can't risk them eating her. When they learn that he's in love, they ask if he plans on changing her, but he says that he can't yet. His control isn't good enough.

One day, Alice shows up.

She meets Jasper while he's in town, gathering food for Sadie and himself. They still have the little "You kept me waiting" "My apologies" flirtation, but he's a little more guarded, because he has to get back to Sadie, and as much as he is already beguiled by this weird-eyed stranger, he doesn't want her following him home. She's a vampire, and no vampires are allowed near his Sadie.

Alice really wants to skip the wooing; she's already seen herself with Jasper and Sadie. But she knows that mentioning Sadie too soon could make Jasper defensive, so she has to sprinkle herself slowly into Jasper's life, meeting him when he comes to town and letting his instinctive attraction and fondness for her grow into trust over a span of months (even moving towns when he does). She doesn't say anything about him switching to an animal diet, either; she tells him that she eats animals, but trying to influence him at this stage could alter her chances of seeing Sadie. Better to just let him murder.

Once they're at the right place, trust-wise, she tells him that she is already as in love with Sadie as she is with him, due to her psychic visions, and she asks to meet her. At first, Jasper isn't ready, but after she's asked a few more times, he allows it.

Alice has to be extra careful, because she wants to just run and hug Sadie as soon as she sees her, but if she makes a sudden move, Jasper will react badly. (Especially since the speed that comes with her small frame makes her a genuine threat to Sadie, even with Jasper there.) Not to mention, she has to endear herself to Sadie, whose only experience with vampires has been abduction.

"Sadie Lily Gilder," Alice says, barely restraining her excitement. "I am Alice Cullen. I'm your other soulmate."

Sadie is mostly perplexed and a little exasperated, but Jasper feels suddenly as if the sun has broken through the clouds. (Which means a lot, since he was already happy before.) Alice's joy at finally getting to see Sadie seems to fill the room, and this is his first time hearing Sadie's middle name, and...

"I like seeing you together," he realizes.

For the next few months, Alice is allowed to visit Sadie every now and then, under full supervision from Jasper. He can feel that she loves Sadie as much as he does, but he's still got to be careful. Humans are so fragile, and he's used to only trusting himself. When she comes, Alice brings Sadie little gifts that she never thought to ask Jasper before. She brings a new spritely energy to the house that Sadie comes to enjoy.

The following few months, (and after Jasper has watched her hunt animals) she's allowed to stay over full-time. They watch Sadie sleep, together. She's able to answer more of Sadie's questions.

Alice introduces Jasper to the idea of joining a family she's seen in their future. He doesn't want that many vampires around their Sadie, but as always, Alice says just the right things: they're all animal eaters; she hasn't seen a single future where any of them hurt Sadie; and the eldest of them could change Sadie for them.

(She also has to convince Sadie to want to become immortal with them, since she knows that Carlisle and Edward would be against turning her against her will. It helps that Sadie has been captured by a vampire for a while, now, and being a vampire herself would give her a chance of exerting some control over her future.)

When they meet the Cullens, Alice acts like they're already best friends. Jasper is more formal in asking the patriarch if he can change Sadie for them.

Edward calls them out on kidnapping Sadie, but Sadie points out that, unless things come to blows between the Cullens and Alice and Jasper, the only way for her to no longer be kidnapped is by becoming a vampire.

So Carlisle changes her, and she stays with the Cullens so that she can have someone to help her overcome her thirst during her newborn years without slipping up and hurting someone. Alice and Jasper stay with the Cullens, too (and the Cullens tell Jasper that he has to switch to the animal diet if he wants to stay). Eventually, all three of them are close enough to various members of the Cullen family that they just sort of become part of it.

Having been kidnapped at the start of all this, though, Sadie exerts her autonomy in pretty much every way. In her newborn years, in which she is more temperamental (though that isn't saying much; she's still pretty mellow by newborn vampire standards), she confronts Jasper for what he did, and he pretty much just takes it; things have worked out pretty great for him, so it's only fair to let her get it off her chest. Sadie can feel the bond between her and Alice and Jasper, but she can also feel that he didn't have to do what he did. She goes to visit her human family, once she knows that she won't eat them; she and Rosalie go on lengthy road trips; she and Emmett go to football games; she goes volunteering and home renovating with Esme; she learns languages and musical instruments from Edward; she learns vampire history from Carlisle and even joins him on a trip to Volterra.

She lets Alice buy her clothes but overall gives Jasper a wide berth.

Alice, having gained full trust from Jasper, is able to convince him to allow Sadie her space for a while, as she comes to terms with everything that happened. Jasper agrees, since Sadie isn't so fragile anymore and he knows that Alice is keeping an eye on her. So long as they know where Sadie is at all times, and so long as she is accompanied by at least one of the Cullens, he can bear to spend uninterrupted one-on-one time with his newest mate, especially if doing so will help Sadie to forgive him.

The diet of animal blood makes him less wild (but more tense, as he can feel that he is weaker), and the newness of everything in Sadie's life raises her spirits. Maybe eventually she'll be willing to hang out with him again, but it'll take a few years.

[tazzytypes]

1, 11, 14 :-)

Ahhhhh someone actually sent questions 😱 I’m so happy!

1. What inspired you to write the fic this way?

So, originally, the story I had for Ilya and Silco was completely different. Ilya lived in Zaun and ran a shop with her family where she met a younger Silco and Vander during the early days of the Children of Zaun. This was actually the context into where my small fic, [Business], took place as well as the origins of [this] art piece.

I still consider that plot to be Ilya and Silco’s “original” story — Glitter and Good acting as sort of an AU for that. However, I’ve always had a weakness for the arranged marriage trope. Especially for Ilya as a character. She’s stopped believing anyone could truly love her and even that love is real — same with Silco. Having them on opposite sides also gives more tension to their relationship than I had before which makes good storytelling haha.

11. What do you like best about this fic?

Oh no this is a hard one 😅 I am super critical about my work to the point that it takes every bit of self control not to edit the chapter again and again after I’ve posted it.

What I like writing about this piece is the breadcrumbs. I love writing breadcrumbs — those super tiny details that won’t make sense/aren’t obvious until the dramatic reveal.

A lot of what I like about this fic is stuff I have yet to write 😅. There are three or four arcs to this story that I have planned thus far — one that is our current arc, one that encompasses the time around the events of Act 1 of the show, the third that encompasses the time jump, and finally an arc that contains the last few chapters of season 1.

I will say, I like the way Silco and Ilya’s relationship pans out and some dramatic moments I have planned out. Can’t say more than that without spoiling lol

14. Is there anything you wanted readers to learn from reading this fic?

I wouldn’t necessarily say learned. Fanfics for me are just fun and cathartic. I guess if I had to say something, it would be that arranged marriages aren’t great. Story wise? I like it. It gives characters an obstacle and narrative tension from the get-go. Realistically? Not so much (as you can see from Ashanna and Hoskel’s relationship already).

At the end of the day, though, we’re all here to have fun. So have fun! Read what you want to read. Write what you want to write. Don’t worry about other people liking it — just write for yourself and you’ll be happy.

[wecantseeyou]

a word on color - how line of duty series 6 uses wardrobe color to frame narrative (pt 4)

Author’s note: this is the conclusion to my essay on wardrobe color and how it’s used to inform narrative in series 6 of line of duty. Previous parts can be found here: Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3. This part covers episodes 5, 6, and 7. Heads up, my analysis of episode 7 is actually quite short because of my focus on Jo, but I have many, MANY thoughts on Kate’s second to last scene and the general wardrobe choices for Kate in this episode.

Thank you to everyone who has been willing to entertain my ramblings here. While I have a background in theatrical production, this kind of meta analysis was quite new for me. I was relieved to see (most) of this theory actualized in the finale. Now, this part is nearly 8k words, all four parts together clocked in at over 20k words and nearly 40 pages, single-spaced, so I’ve officially written a third dissertation (after the other two took me 10 months…). 

Regular warnings apply: I’m American and therefore may be missing certain cultural context. Spoilers abound, but I stick to Jo’s storyline for the most part, and don’t include my thoughts about the finale writ large (I may write an analysis of the series 6 storytelling separate from this, if there’s interest).

Read on below the cut.

EPISODE 5

Episode 5 opens with Lomax briefing Jo and Kate about connections between the armed robbery and Gail Vella's murder, showing them results for an industrial estate that matches the description given by one of the robbers. Jo is wearing the same outfit she ended episode 4 in, the orangish brown sweater and navy suit, while Kate is wearing a grey jacket over a white shirt, buttoned all the way up. A side note - this grey jacket does not fit in with the rest of the wardrobe Kate has been in all series, and from a meta perspective, this is because they have to conceal the firearm Kate is now carrying. Ryan watches from the other room, again in a call back to the way Jo was watching Kate in episode 3.  Kate tries to talk to Jo, but she's quickly brushed off, much to Kate's chagrin.

Jo’s outfit, which we’ve seen her in numerous times, again demonstrates her pull between what’s right and pressure from the OCG. After all, Ryan has just threatened her twice. She knows that the investigation is heading in the right direction, which she both wants and is afraid of, and she is panicking. At the same time, she’s wary of letting Kate get too close lest she suspect something and acts on it, putting them both in danger.

Kate’s outfit actually shows some of that forced distance Jo is causing. We’ve seen her wear a white shirt buttoned all the way to the top once before - when she spoiled the raid of MIT by AC-12. That outfit showed her pull between Jo and AC-12, and we’re seeing that here again. This time though, the grey jacket shows that she’s leaning AC-12.

We see this in the next scene where Steve, in his grey suit with a white shirt and red tie, is directly paralleling his former partner’s wardrobe. Kate visits AC-12, and it's been revealed that she has permission to carry a concealed firearm because of the threat Ryan Pilkington poses. Now, call me crazy, but I believe we’re meant to understand he’s a threat to her at least in part because of her relationship to Jo, but I’m uncertain. When Ted asks for an update, Kate notes that Jo has become "cold and distant" toward her, and the team reveals Jo has been put under surveillance, which Kate isn't happy about. It's then revealed that Jo is related to Tommy Hunter (from series 1 and 2) through incest, which is of course horrifying, though we don’t know the full story of it quite yet.

Back at her apartment, Jo checks the laptop to find out the OCG won't let her go because of AC-12's continued investigation, which she promises to take care of. She’s surrounded by her blue flat, in her navy and orange outfit, her actions and heart still at conflict with one another. She’s distraught, and stuck.

Later, Kate and Steve meet in an underground car park in their matching navy coats. Steve shares that Lakewell gave him information off the record, which is that Gail Vella had been looking into the death of Lawrence Christopher at the time of her death. He also tells Kate about his discovery that Hastings gave Steph Corbett the missing $50k of supposed bribe money (from series 5). The former partners match here because they are coming closer to being full partners again, working in tandem and trusting one another with information. They have been at odds this series, particularly when it comes to Jo, but they have remained on the same page in their disappointment in the gaffer and belief in finding justice for Gail Vella.

Back at MIT, Kate is looking into the industrial parks that may hold an OCG workshop.  As she researches, she repeatedly looks over at Jo in her office and seems to have an idea. She then steps out of the office and calls Steve, though we don’t see the details of their conversation. Kate returns to the office and goes into Jo's office, telling her that they may have found the OCG workshop. She asks to brief the team immediately to avoid leaks, which Jo allows while glancing out at the bullpen. We can see once Kate leaves that she was looking at Ryan, who is watching her closely.

We don't know it yet, but Kate has found a way to test Jo’s loyalty and her belief that Jo isn’t bent. She tells the team about 1 location, makes them hand up their phones (which pisses them all off), and Jo makes them all stay within the MIT offices just as Ryan is about to step out. As the briefing ends, Kate goes to Jo’s office once more and demands to speak with her, despite Jo’s rude and annoyed response.

It’s later revealed that Kate then tells Jo there are 3 total locations to be looked at, but they’re starting with just one. Meanwhile, AC-12 surveillance teams are stationed at all three locations to see if people are tipped off and by who.

In these scenes, Kate is wearing a navy suit with a light blue shirt buttoned to the top, while Jo is wearing a grey suit with a grey turtleneck. For both women, the high necklines that fully encircle their throats indicates their discomfort and their desire to have a wall up for their own protection. We see Kate in all blue as she’s on a crusade to prove the truth - Jo isn’t bent, and this will reveal who is (as she suspects Ryan). Jo, meanwhile, is uncertain, and her monochrome grey outfit reflects that. Normally, this is the type of thing she would be expected to tip off to the OCG (as she did with Carl Banks), but Kate has cleverly made it so she can’t. She’s trying to push Kate away, but Kate keeps pushing herself right back in. She’s meant to be wary of Ryan, but she stopped him from an opportunity to send out a warning - and that’s before she knew there were three potential locations. All Jo knows is that she wants out from this lie and constant threat she’s lived under. She’s in all grey, not true blue but certainly not a warm tone, because she hasn’t decided what her next step is yet. Temporarily neutral.

The initial raid is not a success, so Jo informs the team that they'll move on to the other locations instead, revealing that she and Kate did not give them all of the information. Lomax is pissed off, and directs that anger at Kate. From his perspective, the boss just told them she doesn’t trust him or the team and treated them all like a potential rat, and he chalks that up to the former AC-12 officer’s involvement. In an interesting parallel, Jo and Kate are wearing the same outfits under their body armor that we saw them in during the raid in the first episode - Jo in her black jacket and Kate in her green jacket. 

During this raid, Ryan snuck out to call in the danger to the OCG from a burner phone, an act which was recorded by Chloe “the only real detective” Bishop. Steve, at the real OCG workshop, rushes in with his team which results in the deaths of two suspects. Jo and the MIT team arrive on the scene not long after, and Jo and Steve come to disagreement over jurisdiction, and she ultimately forces him to stand down using her rank (which we’ll see her flex once more later in the episode). I have to say, I have loved watching Jo and Steve come to blows in this series in part because Jo is so much better at it than he is. Steve truly has been Jo’s foil, contradicting her at every point. We see this even in their clothes in this scene. While Jo is wearing a grey turtleneck (typically in the AC-12 color palette), it is hidden under her black jacket, and Steve is wearing a blue shirt under his body armor. On the visual face, they appear to be working at opposite ends to one another, and in this moment they are.

Back at AC-12, Kate debriefs the team on what happened and let's them in on the honey trap* (*not really) Kate set for Jo, which she didn't fall for (but Pilkington did).  The team is taken aback, and Hastings points out how risky a move that was. "As far as I'm concerned, that's proof she's not bent," Kate replies, stubborn to the end. Steve has a different interpretation - Jo assigned herself to the raid on the location with the workshop, and took control of the crime scene from him. "That doesn't fit with what I've witnessed firsthand. I needed to know one way or another."  Kate will not back down from her staunch belief that Jo is not bent, an unfortunate foreshadow to Jo’s eventual betrayal. Hastings sides with Steve, but Kate clearly still disagrees. However, Steve does believe Ryan should be removed from MIT, even as Hastings wants to keep him there. This raises their suspicions because Kate had originally talked the gaffer out of bringing Ryan in, but the reality of the matter is that Ted feels he’s on a ticking clock with his forced retirement, and wants to handle this fourth man situation before he goes. 

Kate and Steve are again in coordinated outfits here, dressed head to toe in blue. We’ve seen this before, the former partners in clothes that parallel one another while seemingly at odds. Sadly, this is because they’re again both right about Jo. She is using her position (and even Kate’s trust) to manipulate the investigation, but that manipulation stems from fear for her own safety as she herself is being manipulated and doesn’t want to do what she’s done. She’s like a cat stuck in a box - bent and not bent.

On the Hill, Kate gives the team the low down on the OCG warehouse and their next steps. Jo congratulates the team and tells them to get to work collecting forensic evidence while Pilkington sends laser eyes her way. This time it’s Kate wearing a turtleneck, this one in black under an olive suit jacket, while Jo wears a grey suit with a grey-green sweater and a blue shirt buttoned all the way to the top. Again, the high necks of these outfits demonstrate the discomfort and reservedness both women are feeling, but we also see a subtle connection with the green tints of their clothes. As usual, green represents the pull between two different compelling interests. For Kate, the pull between Jo and AC-12, for Jo the pull between Kate and the OCG. 

Wearing these same outfits, Jo catches up with Kate outside of Hillside, where she confronts her about AC-12's knowledge of the raids. Kate tells her she tipped them off because they're making a lawful inquiry. "Look, I'm telling you the truth Jo, because I trust you with it." Jo takes advantage of Kate sharing the information with AC-12 and tells Kate to put in a transfer request, saying, "I wouldn't want to harm your career, Kate. It's best if you request a transfer." Kate is taken aback and asks "You've been distant with me for days. Is this personal?" Jo denies this, pulling rank the same way she did with Steve, "I'm your senior officer, I should be distant." Kate seems confused and concerned with her response of "But I thought we were friends. What's happening here?" And here we see Jo’s fear crack through her irritation, just for a moment, when she says, "So you can tell AC-12?" As much as Jo is pushing Kate away in order to get her out of the picture, she also has a real fear that Kate continuing to share information with Steve will get Jo killed. She’s playing up Kate’s betrayal to explain her anger, but she’s also hurt and she wants her to know that. Jo trusts Kate, even if she doesn’t trust her enough to tell her the truth on her own. Up until this point, Kate has worked with her and told her about AC-12’s work, even helping her get a leg up on Steve. Now Kate’s helping AC-12 get a leg up on her.

But Kate is nothing if not determined. "No, I wouldn't tell them personal stuff." Kate refuses to take the transfer, and Jo leaves in frustration and anxiety, leaving Kate confused yet again. 

Back at Jo's flat, she's on the OCG laptop again. She tells the user she can handle AC-12, but they claim she can't because of Fleming. Jo tries to ask for more time to sort it, but time's up. "Get rid of her." Get rid of Kate, the last person Jo trusts, the one who just broke her trust.

And here is Jo’s betrayal. "As long as it's my last job." She looks devastated after she sends it, and she is. What she’s about to do is unforgivable. But scared and vulnerable people often do unforgivable things to save themselves. Jo just wants to be free, and she’s willing to pay a price for freedom. 

Steve, in his iconic grey suit and navy tie, goes to visit Ian Banks in prison and learns that Ted is the one that disclosed John Corbett's identity that later got him killed. He later calls Kate to tell her the news. Matching Steve, Kate is in a navy shirt, but is wearing a black suit, only the second time we’ve seen her in this suit. The first was in episode 2, when she gave Jo the information about AC-12 and they later had dinner together. 

Kate heads back into Hillside after her conversation with Steve and runs into Jo in the hallway, who asks to meet with her outside of work to discuss their 'personal issues'. Jo specifically looks at officers further down the hall to confirm they're leaving before speaking to Kate. She also lowers her voice at her own mention of personal issues, adding an extra layer of privacy to an already empty hall. 

Checking to make sure there alone is something that Jo and Kate have done frequently throughout this series. In the handhold scene, they break apart when officers step into the hall. They mention how it’s easier to talk outside of work during both of their dinner scenes. When Kate tells Jo about Ryan’s spying, she dismisses Chris first, and later in that conversation when Jo puts her hand on Kate’s arm, they pull apart when they hear officers approaching. 

Kate is surprised at Jo’s sudden change in behaviour from the past few days, but she agrees to meet with Jo after work. As Jo walks away, Kate clearly knows that something is up with her, but seems willing to find out what it is when they speak.

What Kate is sadly unaware of is that Jo walks away to lock herself in the bathroom and have a breakdown, distraught at the machination she has set in motion against Kate. Her hand shakes as she locks the stall, she falls to the ground, she looks around desperately for salvation. Jo’s mask, one that she maintains so strictly, falls for just a moment (not dissimilar to her breakdown in her car after framing Farida). Thirty seconds in a toilet stall to breakdown, to think about the consequences of her actions, about what she’s done to Kate. But she takes a few deep breaths, wipes away her tears, and we watch as her mask slips back into place.

Back at AC-12, Chloe “my back is worse than Steve’s from carrying this investigation” Bishop has uncovered more about the racist gang that attacked Lawrence Christopher, including the investigators, Buckells and the current Chief Constable. This was the story Gail Vella was looking into when she was murdered, and appears to be the reason for her death. Steve is wearing the same grey suit and navy tie as when he spoke with Kate, and while he’s grateful for Chloe for digging everything up, he’s also concerned that the young Black woman had to learn so many details about the lynching of a young Black man. [Note: to be incredibly clear, the death of Lawrence Christopher as described by the script was a lynching, and the narrative did not do enough to reckon with that fact for anything more than relevance to the global racial justice uprisings reborn in late May of 2020. More than willing to discuss this further if anyone cares for my thoughts.] As they discuss the case, Patty Carmichael walks in with gusto (and damn if that voice isn't an incredible acting choice). She’s taking over AC-12, and she’s cancelling the surveillance on Jo and Ryan.

That night, Kate arrives at Frederico's to meet Jo, who calls her the moment she’s locked her car to ask to meet somewhere less public, for claims of privacy. Kate is immediately on alert, especially after her attempts to convince Jo to stick with the original plan. But after a small plea from Jo, she acquiesces, but not without caution. Kate immediately knows something is off - this is not how Jo interacts with her. Little do we know, Pilkington is skulking in Jo's backseat, coaching her actions.

As an aside, this is also the only time we see them meeting out of work while they're both wearing casual clothes, not just the clothes they wore to the office. 

Kate drives to the lorry park and calls Steve, because she's both an idiot and a genius. He’s wearing the same suit as before, grey with a navy tie. She learns that surveillance was pulled on Jo and Ryan, and explains Jo's odd behaviour, forwarding him the address. Unfortunately, their conversation is cut short by Carmichael, which immediately sets Kate on high alert and she ends the call. Just as Kate is about to leave, Jo pulls into the lot, and the tension escalates.

Steve receives the address and immediately informs Hastings and Chloe, ordering the team to get a unit ready. The team starts to rush out and Carmichael asks for calm, which Ted isn't gonna do when one of his people is in danger. AC-12 isn’t about to let Kate down.

At the lorry park, a distraught Jo gets out of her car and approaches Kate’s car. Kate tries to convince Jo to go somewhere else, but all Jo can say is that she's sorry. Kate is confused, but that goes away pretty quickly once an armed bent bastard steps out of Jo's car. He gloats to Kate, saying "Jo wanted to give you a way out. Should've put in for that transfer." Kate tries to convince Ryan to put the gun down, that the authorities will find him, but it doesn't work. Which is when Kate makes a gamble - she tells Ryan about the surveillance on him and Jo. Ryan tries to blame Jo for their situation, but she acts none the wiser (even though Kate told her about Ryan’s surveillance in the previous episode).

"Why would she come here otherwise?"

Sure, Jo is playing down her relationship with Kate for Ryan’s sake, but it isn’t quite that simple. Jo doesn't want to believe Kate had any faith in her. She wants to believe she was pretending, because she has no faith in herself. Her reaction does provide enough of a distraction for Kate to be able to pull her own weapon, and the most tense standoff ever begins...

One of the most key color choices of any outfits so far on the show are the clothes Jo and Kate wear to the lorry park where Jo sets up Kate to be killed by Ryan. Jo is wearing her grey coat, a blue sweatshirt, and a red top. Kate is wearing a blue coat, and a blue striped sweater with a band of red in the middle. These two outfits are ultimately the thesis statement between these two women. Jo is wearing red as her last layer, the one closest to her, but is surrounded by cool tones through her sweatshirt and coat. Meanwhile, Kate’s sweater has a stripes of red and orange surrounded by shades of blue. 

But it doesn’t matter that Kate is being visually connected to Jo, because Jo is about to be responsible for her death via Ryan ‘the bent bastard’ Pilkington.

EPISODE 6

Nevermind though, no death for our beloved Kate!

Now, I’m going to take the next parts of the episode slightly out of order in order to tackle Kate and Jo together before their ultimate confrontation with Steve and AC-12. First, a run down of the AC-12 crew: Hastings is in full uniform, which represents his ultimate faith in the system, despite the bad actors and groups that try to destroy it. Carmichael is wearing a grey coat, aligning her with anti-corruption, but it’s piped along the edges with red, which shows how she’s opposed to AC-12 (though not necessarily corrupt). Steve is in his classic blue on blue on blue under his body armor, which shows his dedication to justice and also his faith in Kate. Carmichael confronts him directly about Kate’s whereabouts, which he fastidiously denies having any knowledge of, but unfortunately Hastings is forced to admit that Kate was permitted to carry a concealed firearm for safety. Steve doesn’t trust Carmichael, and this is shown back at the office when he tracks what Patty C is up to, mobilizing Hastings when she’s on the move.

At first glance, Kate and Jo’s red and blue outfits read as a visual metaphor for AC-12 closing in on their location, but I posit that these outfits are also indicative of Kate's belief in Jo, despite her anger that Jo has just set up her death. It’s clear at this point that their simple flirty banter from the beginning of the season has evolved into a deeper connection, which is part of what makes Jo’s betrayal so painful - Kate has been on her side the whole time. Jo just didn’t know it. [note: wrote this before the finale so guess who has egg on her face now…]

After a time jump (of nearly two hours, based on someone else’s analysis of time stamps and radio calls), Kate and Jo arrive at Steve's apartment. Jo asks if Steve can be trusted, and Kate leaves no doubt. Jo also asks why the surveillance got pulled, and Kate informs her about the chief and Carmichael. Jo denies having any part of it, but Kate isn't sure if she can believe her given the whole, you know, attempted murder thing. In a desperate bid to prove her loyalty to Kate, Jo asks for her gun, intentionally putting her prints on the murder weapon. Again, their coordinating outfits are the outward manifestation of their connection. Kate, while still angry, seems to accept what Jo is offering to her, but is clearly trying to maintain distance in the moment.

Jo then tries to see if things between them were real, but Kate refuses to entertain the conversation. What Jo is completely unaware of at this point is the lengths to which Kate has gone to prove that Jo isn't bent, up to and including risking a crucial raid on the OCG workshop. To Kate, it's a question that doesn't need to be asked, [the egg on my face remains] but Kate is also in disbelief that Jo would question her feelings when she's the one who was nearly killed by Jo. It’s an inappropriate time to have this discussion, and Kate lets that be known. They find Steve's personal car, a slate grey Mazda because this show is nothing if not subtle with its vehicular choices - even their personal vehicles tie in to their allegiance with AC-12’s mission.

Driving in Steve's car, Jo asks again if Kate was pretending with Jo, and Kate diverts the conversation away from herself. Was Jo lying to her when she hired Kate because she was ex-anti-corruption? No, she was hoping Kate, with her anti-corruption background, would stop her. Would save her, really. They discuss Jo's ongoing work for the OCG, and Jo's fear that she'll be killed if she turns, just like Tommy. She insists that she's not bent and Kate implores her to prove it.

Kate is pissed [for the non-Americans, she’s very angry, not drunk…] in this scene, as she should be. She believed in Jo, she still believes in Jo, but she betrayed her in a major way. And now, when Kate is sticking her neck out for Jo again, she's still too scared to reveal what she knows. Jo does reveal that Tommy was her uncle, and that her father was a bent cop, which of course doesn’t align with what Kate knows. At Kate's further insistence, Jo directs them toward Gail Vella's house, and finally to the old print shop the OCG had used in the past that is across from Terry Boyle’s flat.

Kate and Jo arrive at the print shop, and Jo is finally about to reveal the truth to Kate. This act, coupled with putting her prints on the gun, earns Jo back a little bit of the trust she lost, and this is shown when the two women share the same shot. Most of the scenes between Jo and Kate have been over the shoulder shots where one woman is the primary focus, and this scene pivots to end with both of them together as the focus. This change happens in time with Kate dropping some of her much-deserved hostility toward the other woman.

But before they can step out of the car, flashing lights and sirens appear behind them - they've been found. The fact that they've been tracked shocks Kate, but she spends no time dwelling as she throws the car into drive and speeds away. AC-12 AFOs have set up an intercept point, which Kate ignores in a truly badass handbrake turn, no matter if it makes any sense that they could have possibly known the route Kate would take in order to set up a kind of road block.

Handbrake turn or no, the Mazda has been intercepted and Kate and Jo are stuck. Kate is still confused that they've been found, but Jo knows the jig is up and tells Kate she's going to say she forced her to drive. It isn't until Jo tells her they have no other choice that Kate gets out of the car. Once out, Jo puts her hands up, but Kate refuses. Just then, AC-12 arrives with Carmichael, and Kate is in shock. "Jesus Christ, Steve's in on it" - cut to Jo's panicked face. This is the man Kate said they could trust, and now he's after them too.

What follows is a very tense standoff between the two fleeing detectives and AC-12. Jo surrenders, but Kate refuses. First Carmichael tries, then Hastings (at which point Kate tells Jo she learned some shady stuff about him), and then finally Steve walks up to them. Jo begs Kate to surrender repeatedly, but the DI believes she’s onto her second major betrayal of the night and she isn’t willing to give in that easily. She thought she could trust Jo, and she nearly killed her, and to her mind she trusted Steve and he turned her over to Carmichael.

Kate is prepared to tear him a new asshole, but he swears up and down that he has no idea how they got tracked, he wouldn't do that to her. Once he promises to get the two women into safety, Kate surrenders. As he walks them in, Kate shared Ryan's confession of murder and Jo's clue about the print shop. To the end, Kate believes in justice and will pursue it.

We then see a disillusioned Kate in her all grey Fruit of the Loom being walked into her jail cell. She sits down on the plastic mattress, looking at a total loss.

Later that night, Steve and Hastings are discussing the events of the previous few hours. Steve is in a grey suit with a blue shirt and tie, same as he had been wearing during the chase. The gaffer questions why Steve didn't tell him about Kate, and Steve claims it was to prevent putting him in a difficult position with Patty C, who walks in with the same question. Apparently, the former partners have keys to each other's houses and vehicles, in case of emergency. Carmichael taking Steve's phone would've read to Kate as an emergency. Steve refuses to back down, and she appears to drop it for the moment.

Now, onto Jo’s interrogation. A lot happens in this thirty minute scene, but to boil down to the important points: Jo is wearing her best Fruit of the Loom, stripping her of her identity and any affiliations she has. The lighting in this scene is cold and sterile, completely cool in tone. Steve sits with Carmichael and Hastings on the other side of the table, dressed in a navy suit, white shirt, and red tie.

Something very important to note in this scene is Jo’s reliance on Steve. He speaks with her gently, acknowledges her pain, and encourages her to be truthful even when it is clearly very difficult. She takes Kate’s trust in him at face value and decides to trust him too. His outfit actually reflects this truth. He’s wearing the same red and blue that Kate and Jo wore while they were on the run - blue surrounds the red. As much as Jo is trusting Steve here because of Kate, Steve is being kind to Jo here for the same reason. His partner and friend does the right thing nearly always - if she was willing to go to these lengths to defend Jo, he owes it to her to learn the truth. Nothing exemplifies this more than when the conversation turns to Pilkington’s death.

Jo refuses to answer at first and actually waits for AC-12 to show its hand first. She notices that Steve hesitates when Carmichael instructs him to talk about the evidence regarding Kate's gun, and she realizes this is her in, this is how she can prove herself to Kate once and for all. It's only after this that she claims to have shot Pilkington and completely shifts the blame from Kate to herself. This catches both Steve and Hastings up, and they react in obvious shock, which changes how Hastings treats her through the rest of the interview and cements Steve’s belief in Kate’s trust. Afterwards, she looks to Steve, who nods. He understands what she just did for Kate, and Jo is relieved to see his comprehension. The questioning continues, and Jo only admits to what she can take direct responsibility for, but nothing that involves the larger network.

Once Carmichael and Hastings leave, she quickly turns to Steve and says a desperate "I'm so sorry." Sorry for hiding evidence in Operation Lighthouse. Sorry for framing Farida. Sorry for what she’s done to Kate.

And Steve, gentle when he can be, gives her a kind "Yeah, me too," in reply. I’m sorry you were groomed into the OCG. I’m sorry you were scared for your life. I’m sorry you hurt Kate, too.

Patty C goes to talk to Kate, and lets her know she won't be charged for Ryan's murder - Jo will be. Kate has a look of relief on her face as she processes the information. But Patty C notes Jo isn't firearms trained, and Kate is. She's telling Kate she knows what really happened, and she's letting it slide. This time. Kate is well aware that Carmichael isn’t stupid - she knows Jo was lying and is only letting Kate get away with it because it better serves her interests. Kate is free, and she sighs with relief and the knowledge of what Jo did.

Steve, still in the same outfit from the interview, and Kate, in a navy pea coat and yellow sweater, meet in an underground car park. once she's been released. A quick note on Kate’s coat: I’d love to say there’s a deeper meaning for the shift in her coat, but I genuinely think it’s just because filming was originally in the spring, then was moved to the fall and continued until November, so it was simply colder. The cut and color of the coat are generally the same, despite the style changing.

Steve offers to lend an ear about the shooting, and then Kate asks about Jo's interview. Steve tells her they didn't get enough information out of her, and Kate tells him that Jo told her that her dad was an officer. "She's scared, Steve. After what happened to Tommy, Dot, Lakewell, nevermind John Corbett". Kate’s anger seems to have dissipated at least a little at this point, because here she is, defending Jo by explaining why she wasn’t forthcoming with a lot of information. This is most obvious through her yellow sweater - still affiliated with Jo, even through everything else. Steve lets her know that Jo is in a secure cell with extra monitoring, which seems to appease her. Kate then informs him she's been made SIO at MIT, and will guarantee cooperation with AC-12. Lomax calls Kate, and the two partners are back working together.

Kate and Steve meet Lomax at the OCG workshop, where he goes over the forensic findings so far as MIT’s resident plot reciter. Kate tells him they need to look further, and orders him to dig up the floor, ruining the poor man’s plans for the evening.

Chloe calls Steve with an update on Thurwell. Then we get a weird scene of darkvision Spanish police apprehending Thurwell. Truly hate it. He's dead. It's a deadend. Clever writing, Jed.

The episode ends with Jo in her navy blue jumper being put into her cell at Brentiss. Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dee, Lindsay Denton’s besties, walk up threateningly before Jo is led into her cell and the door is shut. I do love the shot here of Jo through the door, caught in a small tight space that’s almost closing in on her.

EPISODE 7

Before I fully jump into Episode 7, please be aware that I am doing a textual analysis. I’m not going to go into the fourth man reveal and its logic or even greater meaning (particularly because I’m looking at this show from a different political context as an American), and I’m not going to speculate on things not seen, at least in this analysis, because the focus is on wardrobe. You can trust I have many thoughts, particularly around race and the writing around female characters, some of which I’ve included but most of which I did not. It took me 9 full days to write everything for this one episode, and was shockingly exhausting. Forgive me if it doesn’t live up to my other ramblings.

We’ll jump right into things. I'm gay but Steve looks so good here in his AC-12 uniform. Anyways, Steve is watching Hastings' old interview with Carmichael about Ian Banks. His concern about Hastings is clear. He’s in pursuit of justice, even if justice puts him up against the gaffer.

Later, Steve and Kate discuss the gaffer and his suspicious behaviour, and he informs her that Ted is slated for retirement. Steve wants to let it go, but Kate refuses. She asks if Steph Corbett knows anything more, and suggests she may be blackmailing Hastings, but Steve is dismissive of it. This causes Kate to raise an eyebrow - oh god Steve's done it again. Steve pleads "It's not like that, mate, it's different," and Kate has never looked more disbelieving and annoyed. She responds, "She's a person of interest,” and their conversation is cut short when Chris calls Kate with an update. Steve is still in his navy suit, and Kate in her yellow sweater. The lack of coordination in these clothes show Kate isn’t quite on the same page as Steve yet, but they’re getting there.

Lomax tells them there was a case found in the floor of the workshop, much like the one holding Gail Vella's computers at the abandoned print shop that Jo led them to. No comment on the OCG’s evidence techniques.

Steve, who kept skipping his occupational health warnings, is in therapy. I didn't cover the OH stuff throughout this analysis since it didn't relate to Jo, but this manages to tie in later so here it is now. It ends in him agreeing to temporarily give up his firearms license. I'm not going to discuss the rest of the meeting, given that Steve seemed to kick his pill addiction and reliance on alcohol and pain relievers to deal with his back pretty damn quickly and it's a storyline of entirely no relevance except as something Ted holds over Steve in a moment of manipulation later. Steve also admits this to Hastings before Occupational Health can tell him. This entire storyline is frustrating. Moving on!

Kate is watching Jo's AC-12 interview at her desk on the Hill, specifically rewinding to parts concerning who Jo believed her father was. She pauses it on a frame of Jo’s face, the terror clear. Kate is dressed in a black suit and a light blue shirt, back on the side of AC-12 and in pursuit of justice, not only with regard to the OCG, but for Gail Vella and Jo.

Steph calls Steve again, and he ignores it, because he's being a bit of a dick. Then he steps out of his car and has a back spasm. This only comes up so Kate can ask about it later and show that Steve, wearing a blue jacket, listened to what she said about getting close to a person of interest. Would truly love to know why Steve parks by an underpass by a river for this scene, but needs must, I guess.

Back at Hillside, another Lomax briefing! Because Chris, Chloe, and sometimes Kate are truly the only people who do any detecting in the entire series!!! Anyways, Chris tells Steve and Kate about the contents of the box under the floor of the workshop. Conveniently, it held four murder weapons (can Jed Mercurio spell deus ex machina?) and neatly tied a bow on Corbett, Bindra, and Vella's deaths, and in a nice series 1 throwback, Jackie Laverty's murder! Kate is wearing a grey turtleneck which coordinates beautifully with Steve’s grey suit, blue tie, and blue shirt. This shows that they’re back on the same page and on the same team, despite their ups and downs this series.

Kate and Steve return to AC-12, where Kate in her new navy pea coat shares that the proceedings against Terry Boyle will be stopped. Except, to my knowledge, Jo already handled that...? They literally made a point of it in her interview. Anyway, Chloe, like Chris, did all the detective work and tells them that the IP of the OCG laptop is in the UK, not Spain as previously believed. Amanda from forensics, the only other person who does any real work, interrupts with a message that shows Jo is about to be targeted. Definitely is spelled wrong. I give up. They feel the need to spell out what JD and BP mean, but spend 3 episodes never explaining what a CHIS is. Sure. Chloe is tasked with finding the fourth man via spelling.

Also I'm truly not being funny by why is Kate on the investigation board in AC-12. Like. What. Was she a suspect? She’s not with the other victims!

A very forlorn Jo in her blue Brentiss jumpsuit is sitting in her prison cell before being collected for transport to Hillside. Jo is very aware that something must be wrong because she’s a damn fine detective. She's mad suspicious as they head out to the van, and lo and behold, Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum are on the transport team.

En route to Brentiss, they learn that Lomax and Kate's signatures were forged on the production order for Jo. Meanwhile, Jo is too smart for her own good, and questions the guard during the transport about the requesting officer. Tweedle Dee plays dumb.

And then… nothing happens. They intercepted the van in advance, removed Jo, and planted Steve and Kate on the van. Because Steve is such a great choice what with his being an UNARMED OFFICER AT THE TIME. They arrest everyone.  Steve ends up with a gun. Ok.

In an interrogation room, Kate and Steve explain what happened to Jo. Hastings looks on. Kate tells Jo she can apply to witness protection, and that all of her notes will show that she was under coercion from others, giving her a shot at the life she never had, but only if she reveals who the top man is, aka her father. Jo begins to cry, and Steve reminds her those OCG men were sent to kill her - this man doesn't care for her. Jo begins to tell them that she had no reason to believe Tommy was lying to her, all while speaking only to Kate. Steve encourages her further, telling her she's not bent. Kate asks her one last time for the name, and we see Jo resolve to say something before the scene cuts. Heaven forbid we show something happening instead of faking built suspense.

Now, I need to pause here for a small moment of rage. Kate should have been the one who got the call back line by telling Jo she's not bent. Not for any romantic reason, but because their little run from the police stunt was done at least in part under the auspices that Jo could prove to Kate that she wasn't bent. In fact, Kate pleads with Jo to do so. It's just frustrating, and gives Steve an emotional beat he hasn't truly earned with Jo, or at least hasn’t earned as much as Kate.

And Jo gives them a name! They search a prison cell, and find nothing. It's really built up to seem like it's Fairbank, who is revealed to be a confused old dude. Why Jo thought she was communicating with him this entire time is simply never addressed. Whatever. They ask about the murders and cover ups, and he offers nothing. Kate asks about Jo, and after some more pushing, Fairbank implicitly agrees that he and Tommy Hunter convinced Jo he was her father.  Hastings is pissed, but Chloe calls to save the day (again).

Chloe "I should be Chief Constable" Bishop brings the team up to speed on the text search for incorrect spellings of the word definitely. Which they've apparently managed to do in a matter of hours, even on handwritten reports from 17 years prior! Because Jed has definitely never needed to do a text analysis by hand before. They then proceed to NEVER NAME THE SUSPECT. FOR 1 MINUTE AND 10 SECONDS.

Oh but don't worry, because this is the perfect opportunity for our realigned partners to confront Hastings about the bribe money and his conversations with Ian Banks. Can't reveal who the fourth man is when the head of the investigation is also a bent cop, silly audience. And it's revealed that Ted leaked Corbett as a UCO because of Corbett's role in the attack on Hastings' wife. But it's okay because he's sorry about it!

To be hella clear: Hastings, an anti-corruption officer who prides himself on following the letter of the law, took actions he knew would result in the death of John Corbett and Kate later forgives him for it. Jo was under threat of death from the OCG and tried to get rid of Kate via transfer and then led her to an empty lorry park to be killed while she thought Ryan was under surveillance that could likely intervene, and we in no way see Kate react to that experience in this episode. Cool!

Finally, we get the interview with the fourth man, which is revealed 8 minutes and 32 seconds after the characters themselves learn the information. For some reason unknown to God or man, Kate is there despite not being involved in Buckells' case since she works for MIT, not AC-12. Frankly, not gonna delve into it. Kate is wearing a sweater we've yet to see her in, a blue crew neck that is frankly more feminine than anything we've seen this series so far, and moreso matches what she's worn in previous series. It’s unsettling. Steve is in his classic AC-12 uniform.

Just a quick q for the kids at home - if Buckells only ever communicated with people via a secure browser on burner devices, how in the hell did he get a laptop in prison? Also, why did he not break himself out of prison by having someone else plant evidence of some kind, especially since he supposedly had a lot to blackmail Jo with?

At what I can only assume is their local, Steve and Kate congratulate themselves on doing nothing beyond sit in interview rooms to catch Buckells. Kate might go back to AC-12 - even though she left because of the gaffer's actions which turned out to be WAY WORSE THAN SHE PREVIOUSLY BELIEVED? Sure, Jed. They have a chat about what's been happening with Steve and his painkiller addiction. Kate implies he should drive up to Liverpool to see Steph, which he doesn't think is a good idea. But don't worry, they've got each other, mate. Platonic soulmates forever (no romantic underscoring in this analysis).

And then, with no previous discussion in the script or even telegraphing by the camera, Kate is in therapy. Which is great, because she truly needs it, girl has been through a lot. She mentions her ex, and Josh who is apparently her reason for living but she's texted about him once and mentioned him offhand to Jo to tell her he'd be with her ex, and then her great friend and partner, Steve (which is true, but the romantic framing is gross and out of character).

Not being funny, Kate is wearing a truly horrendous mauve top here, over a white shirt. We've never seen her in a color like this, it doesn't fit in with the rest of the color palette in her wardrobe, up to and including all of the orange and brown she wore at MIT. It's honestly frumpy, and in no way aligns with the characterization shown to us through her wardrobe in the rest of the series. The last time we do see her in an outfit like that is during the interview with Jo. Jo left and took Kate's excellent sense of style with her.

Kate and Steve meet with Patty to discuss Darren Hunter's involvement in the murder of Lawrence Christopher, and discuss how there's more corrupt officers to be uncovered. Patty C isn't gonna do anything about that tho. Hastings strolls up to chat with Patty C, and we learn that Buckells will get immunity. The trio are about to leave when Ted storms back into her office to confess to his actions leading to John Corbett's death. He gets one more speech about carrying the fire and bad apples in policing before they all leave.

For the final outfits we may ever see them in, Hastings is wearing a blue shirt, Steve is wearing a grey suit, white shirt, and green tie, and Kate is in a white turtleneck with a navy pea coat. Again, this turtleneck is more effeminate than anything we’ve seen her in this series. Hell, even Patty C is wearing blue to show she’s aligned with anti-corruption and just kind of a bitch, not actually corrupt.

Finally, to the blessed epilogue. Shoutout to Terry and Farida for getting some closure to the bullshit they’ve been through.

Jo steps out of her little stone cottage in the country, dressed in a casual sweater of grey and blue, breathing in the fall air deeply. Her layers of clothing are gone, her hair is down and soft. Her Icelandic sweater shows that she’s finally free to honor her heart, and no longer feels trapped by her family and who she thought they were.

And then, a dog trots out after her, and we see Jo bend down to hug the retriever and kiss its head. This is the most free affection we have ever seen Jo give. A set of legs appear in the doorway behind her, and a redheaded woman steps out of the cottage to meet Jo and the dog. Jo smiles at her, oh so freely after the tension she carried for 21 years, and they clasp hands, walking down the country road away from their home. Because Jo is free, and she can freely love and live without fear in her new life.

Now, from a purely logistical standpoint, very little affection between anyone could be shown from episodes 3-7 because of COVID filming protocols (which seem to be far more strict on physical distancing than American and Canadian productions). The production team actually did a brilliant job using forced perspective and interesting over the shoulders to make people seem like they were closer together than they were. From a film nerd perspective though, they broke the 180 rule so frequently that I nearly lost my mind (glass boxes are great but they ignore all rules of perspective).

All that aside, the logistics of filming in COVID mean that moments where we do see physical distancing broken are all the more important. Kelly filmed this scene with an actress who she has not been working with for months, because it is so, so important to see Jo come out of the other side of her tragic life intact. It also matters that her partner is wearing a warm hat and has red hair (intentional casting or otherwise) and that their home has a red door, because it shows that those warm tones represent something different for Jo now. They don’t represent fear and betrayal and being trapped - now they represent home.

Additionally, there are a lot of comparisons made between Jo, Dot, and Ryan. All three had been groomed by Tommy Hunter since childhood to work for the OCG, all three were put into the Central Police to act as inside men, and all three committed terrible acts in their own interest. But there are differences here. Ryan was a little shit as a kid and he clearly had a terrible home life - his mom was the worst. He gravitated to an authority figure who offered him something different and who gave him power. He is a victim of circumstance - but he also found power and enjoyment in his terrible actions. He gloated about Maneet Bindra and John Corbett’s deaths, and he enjoyed wielding power over Jo when he was threatening her.

Dot is the blend between Ryan and Jo - he too was groomed by Tommy to enter this world of crime, and did many awful things without regret, including killing people who threatened to expose his identity as the Caddy. It’s not until his friendship, and burgeoning relationship, that his behavior changes. He almost gets away from the Central Police, despite Kate hopping on a lorry for a free ride to track him down, but when faced with the reality that this would mean Kate’s death, he sacrifices himself and gives her a final clue to dismantle the OCG within the police.

Jo, from what we’re shown, felt regret after everything she did, and the show made it a point to demonstrate Jo as a victim of her family and genuine fear for her life if she didn’t continue following the actions of the OCG. We never saw Ryan or Dot with a gun to their head or with a dozen locks on their door. We never saw them break down in bathroom stalls, or even framing people and discrediting them instead of killing them. And it’s ultimately her relationship with Kate that changes things for her - she tries to use Kate at first to get caught, and when they get close she tries to push Kate away in order to protect her, right until she thinks she has no other choice but to let Ryan kill her.

It’s interesting that all three characters meet their end with Kate (and a damn shame the show never chose to address that fully). She quite literally kills Ryan, has a standoff with Dot that ends with him sacrificing himself for her and giving a dying declaration, and goes on the run with Jo to give her time to prove she isn’t bent and who plants evidence against herself to protect Kate. Later, it’s Kate who convinces Jo to give up everything she knows about the OCG and the man who claimed to be her father, and Kate who offers immunity and witness protection. Finally, in their last scene together, Kate manages to save one of the people corrupted under the thumb of the OCG. She completes a task she first set out for in series 1, the first time she interviewed Ryan and tried to get him to realize there’s a better life out there for him.

Kate does what Jo was hoping she would: she saves her, and gives her the life she never thought she could have.

I wish I could end this with a perfect bow that ties the wardrobe threads of this series together, but frankly I can’t. On a macro level, cool tones remains the symbol of anti-corruption and the pursuit of truth and justice, and warm tones represent any force opposing those ideals. On a micro level, Steve’s clothing choices and what they represent remain consistent throughout the series, as do Jo’s. However, the character that ties Steve and Jo together, the person who believed in the truth of Jo despite what face value was saying, that person’s wardrobe gets thrown to hell in the final episode. Kate’s colors remain cool, and it’s understandable that the warm tones that represented her connection to Jo disappear as Jo turns on the OCG, but the actual physical clothing is completely different from what she’s been wearing before and doesn’t fit her characterization.

I think it’s crucial to note that her femininity is only played up when she’s back on a team with men, where her earlier androgynous dress became suddenly unacceptable. It’s a damn shame, because the emotional payoff for Kate’s growth outside of AC-12 could’ve been really spectacular, and she was stymied in the end in favor of her male colleagues.

[bookwyrminspiration]

So. Chapter 11. I have many thoughts.

First things first, absolutely amazing, every interaction the characters had felt so natural and fit together so well, and gosh I just...do not have the words to describe how much I adore your writing.

Now time for what I'm here for: you've got me all fired up again! It's been quite a hell of a while since I've done any real theory or predictions, so I might be slightly out of practice, forgive me if I get any details wrong!

And I don’t really know what all of it means yet, but let’s try to get the simple facts laid out first:

Bronte and Oralie send cryptic messages.

Sophie finds a dragon scale in a random desk.

Linh has a connection to the dragons, like Marella.

Dragons are connected with thunderstorms.

So, are we getting dragon!Linh? Because I am so here for dragon!Linh. At the very least, there’s some connection between them. But there’s…something else.

So, the messages from Oralie and Bronte are absurdly cryptic, and that’s so fucking cool and I love it, but I really really want to dig into what they’re saying now. So that’s what I’m gonna do!

Bronte’s message: Secrecy and redundancy compose the toolkit of those trying to hide. It takes a special someone to see the darkness in the world and not participate. Your infectious light is spreading.

Oralie’s message: Secrecy and redundancy compose the toolkit of those trying to hide. Play a melody for me, and tell me what it says. History will have something sweet to say about you.

And you (via Sophie) put a special focus on the words “infectious light” and “history”.

And I will eat my boots if that is not connected to some grand underlying secret underneath the entire story. Now, given that these two are Councillors and have access to confidential files, and Bronte as old as dirt, and the focus on the word history, I’m willing to bet there’s some dark secret within elven history (shocker, I know) that somehow relates to all this monster business. Cause like…it’s hard to make monsters! It’s crazy that the Neverseen and whatever the new group is called have managed to make so many!

(And I haven't figure out the Secrecy and Redundancy part yet, but I will tell you when I think I may have understood it.)

And what’s even weirder is how easy it was for Sophie and the rest of the kids to develop specific monster traits instead of just. Literally dying. And from weird potion mist, too.

Is there something about elves that allows them to turn into monsters? We know the monsters are unnatural, and when I’ve brought up the idea that elves are being turned into monsters you haven’t really denied or confirmed it, just kind of skirted around the topic. And this could also be the reason the humans haven’t been attacked by the monsters- the monsters are made of elves because elves are…somehow compatible with whatever the Neverseen are doing, and they attack other mythical creatures because I’m assuming they share traits similar enough to elves that the monsters have an interest in them.

But it’s also weird how Bronte’s letter (while actually being kind of a compliment, which I find so funny because it absolutely does not read like it, 100/10 characterization points) implies Sophie is spreading something, something infectious, and I’m sure the usage of the word “light” isn’t coincidence either.

Light is really important to elves, like really important, and it doesn’t seem like something Bronte would say, either, what with his…seeming respect for it (from how he acted when at the Point of Purity and journey back). He’d more likely say something like “bravery” or “strength”, given that (iirc) he’s even used those words to describe Sophie before. So there’s something about the word light specifically that was important, and something about the light being infectous.

And now, elves are living underground. And the monsters were said to appear out of nowhere, too, just…out of the blue. Are the Neverseen using the light to create more monsters? What are the monsters for? Can they turn whatever they’re doing off? Are the Council somehow aware of what the Neverseen is doing because they have access to lots of knowledge the main crew don’t, and that’s part of why they fled underground?

And what’s the connection with the dragons?

(I nearly forgot about the dragons.)

From what you’ve posted, you seem to really enjoy the part of dragons that is unknowable and out-of-reach, so much greater than pretty much every other creature in the world. And that also sounds like a way you could describe the void!

And if dragons could access the void, then that would explain how they appear and disappear so fast, and if they control weather that would be how the thunderstorms don’t come in over the horizon, and simply just happen.

But what does it mean? Why did Marella go to them in…what chapter was it again? I can’t remember. Why did Linh react to strongly to the dragon scales?

And Marella may have the wings, but Linh has the scales on her face (although iirc they’re a different color to the one Sophie picked up, so I don’t think it’s hers and I don’t see why she’d attack if it was), so is she a dragon as well? And if they are, are they different kinds of dragons? And since dragons are extremely territorial (from what we’ve seen and can infer so far) is that going to create problems? Linh already reacted terribly to another scale, so if her and Marella’s dragon instincts get worse, I can see how that would go terribly. Or is Linh a different kind of creature?

There’s just…so many thoughts. I barely got into any actual theories here, oops. But that’s…most of my thoughts for now. Hope you enjoyed? I know I personally enjoyed Chapter 11 immensely, thank you for this wonderful AU!

- pyro

woa this is a lot!! pyro!! i am speechless!! I am. I am ahhh!!! I'm glad the interactions felt natural, I was a little worried they'd feel too out of character but sometimes my need to let them mess around with each other takes over

those first four facts you've laid out do seem to be what I'm hinting at--whether you're correct though, I'll let you find out in later chapters. I have more to say about Bronte and Oralie's messages but I'll get to that later. also, I do have more planned for the dragons, which will be fun!!

will be entirely honest i forgot you all don't know what wings Linh has--but!! her connection to the dragons may be related to her wings! everyone has a pair of wings unique to them, so how that translates to her remains to be seen. Marella with the dragon wings and the interests may seem more obvious, but I think Linh is gonna have a lot more mysterious, confusing connection to the way everything works.

Now! onto Bronte and Oralie's messages!! these stumped me for a while because I needed them to be cryptic, but also riddle-like with some kind of meaning that sophie could figure out if she gave it enough thought. of course, as of chapter 11 she hasn't even tried to figure it out, but it's planted that seed in her mind

a cool thing that I just want to point out: there are a few lines throughout the au that i have taken the structure of directly of from the books and altered their wording. One of those was in a previous chapter where I took the "but her mind was stronger than her body" from book one and changed it. I don't remember exactly what i changed it into as it's been a while, but I know that's one of them. and i did it again in this chapter! if you remember the message Bronte had Mr. Forkle give Sophie, "It takes a special someone to see darkness inside of someone and not condemn them," that's the quote I based his unique portion of the message off of. Oralie's also has a meaning tied to an interaction with her, but it's not tied to a specific quote.

for the "infectious light," you are right, that does have a meaning, and it was important it was those exact words. what it turns out to be, however, may not be entirely what you're expecting. and then there's the "history will have something sweet to say about you" which is a little hint to Sophie, whenever she figures that one out. they are trying to send her a message but she needs to figure out what they're trying to say first!! also, the secrecy and redundancy part does have something more to it, but I'll let you continue theorizing about that one.

my apologies if i'm focusing on this part for too long, but I legit spent like half an hour trying to figure out how to word this to set up future scenes and reveals, so I want to share some of that process!

and it is curious how the elven world is the only one affected...

there's a lot of theories for why it was so easy for them to develop those features, maybe their minds adapt to abilities so suddenly that they're predisposed to other changes as well, or they go quicker. maybe it's fragile, guilty minds that enable them to be taken over by horrors like these, whereas humans are exposed to violence and guilt and grief on a daily basis. I might touch on this later in the chapters, so I don't want to spoil anything, but there so many possibilities!!

moving on to the dragons!! you're right, i do think very highly of dragons and like the inachievability of them in this context. they're not just mindless creatures, they're a lot more complex, as we saw with them having abilities like elves. Sophie doesn't know exactly what it was, but she thinks it was tied to the explosive sounds she heard and the change in the weather. and I could tie them to the void! if we going with intelligent creatures having access to the void (like silveny, though her intelligence is very different) then it would make sense to continue that pattern. and it could explain a few of the mysteries left behind after chapter 7 (6? i forget which one)

like i mentioned before, I do have more planned for the dragons, and that does involve both Linh and Marella specifically. so!! I think some of your questions will be answered in the upcoming chapters, but for now I can't exactly answer without spoiling. but! you are asking the right questions!! you are on the right track!!

and it wasn’t exactly scales on linhs face, more they had they same pattern (the iridescent one) but I might've worded it weird so I can see where that came from. as for whether or not she's a dragon, the only thing I can tell you right now is that she doesn't have the exactly same wings as Marella, and i told you in chapter 9 (i think?) that she could easily hide them like Sophie, Wylie, and Biana. The whole mystery with the scale, however, is one of the things that i can't answer without spoiling, so I guess that tells you there's a lot more to that too.

i also have so many thoughts about the au and !! I loved reading all of yours!! I enjoyed it thoroughly!! chapter 11 may seem slower than some of the more action packed chapters, but it sets up a lot of the lore and background we'll need for future endeavors, so i'm glad you liked it!! I think i introduced a lot of questions in this one too...

I might've missed some of your points (there were a lot, which is excellent!!), so if there was something important I glossed over feel free to send another ask so I can go back over it!!

but thank you for reading this au!! talking about it motivates me to write more and make it more complex!! I mean, we're about 84,000 words in and I'm still going, so. there's a lot more to come!!

[furry-emblem]

You know what, after talking about how biases and stuff mess with 3H discourse, I'm going to go over my biases and personal experiences with each major faction leader because I feel like it. I don’t really want people arguing with me on these, but I would like to hear other people describing their experiences with these characters because that’s always interesting to read about. I'm listing the characters in order of how much I liked them.

Byleth

Also known as erotica, keyboard smash, Sothis, another keyboard smash, BoobBoob, and Boobama. I really dislike them. I’ve never been particularly fond of silent or self-insert protagonists. At best, they signal to me that the game isn’t going to bother with its story or character writing (and that’s fine when that’s the case), while at worst, it’s the writers taking the most important character in the story and then throwing their hands up and saying “we don’t need to write this one.” Byleth feels like the ladder and it’s to the detriment of pretty much everyone around them. Like, even considering that silent protagonists are supposed to be characters that the player projects onto, Byleth doesn’t do a good job at this because there’s enough canonical descriptions of them that you can’t really roleplay, but there’s so little going on that they don’t stand on their own two feet. So it’s like having a piece of cardboard dictate the fate of the country. They also primarily function as a wall for characters to exposition dump their backstories onto, which isn’t very interesting to watch. Like, 3H would have been better off without Byleth in it. 0/10.

Rhea

I just haven't had the chance to see a lot of her stuff, so I think I'm missing some of the stuff that makes people like her (and I'd prefer to not have that spoiled for me). Haven't seen her supports or the Church Route, but she just hasn't left me with a good impression. I don't like how possessive she gets of Byleth. Like, it creeps me out a little. I'm also a bit disappointed that you never get to play as her. I want the pope to bitch slap people (except not my people). I remember her being an antagonist in CF felt kind of forced to me when I first played because her reactions felt a bit silly. The problem wasn't whether they were justified or not, the problem was lack of context given and the fact that she was saying stuff like "You will BURN in the PITS OF HELL" while standing perfectly still and making this face >:(. And I just couldn't take that seriously for whatever reason because it felt cheesy and I didn't really understand what was going on. It also soured any endearment Rhea showed towards Byleth to me on future routes because her actions in CF gave me the impression of her being obsessive and controlling of Byleth. Like, she acted entitled to their loyalty, expected them to be something they never asked for, and flipped the fuck out when they rejected. It reminded me a lot of some abuse I've gone through and it made me dislike the character. Now that I have more context on the character, I get why she reacted so suddenly and violently because CF kinda threw all of her triggers at her. It feels like she dug her grave in that route, but she dug it in a way that resembles a Greek Tragedy more than anything else. My second route was Claude's route, which thoroughly disappointed me in terms of its writing. When Rhea was exposition dumping her backstory, I was like "I'm boooored," so that really didn't help my opinion of the character. I also don't really like how she gets damsels in three out of four routes. I still don't actively like the character very much because she left a really sour taste in my mouth, but I understand that I'm missing information and that there are reasons to like her. I'm open to learning more about her, but she just really rubs me the wrong way.

Yuri

I never finished Cindered Shadows and I have no real opinion on Yuri. I thought he was a girl when I first saw him and I think he's fun to play as in gameplay, so I guess there's that. I don't really see myself replaying Cindered Shadows if I even finish it because it lacks a lot of the major things I liked from 3H.

Seteth

Does he even get to count? Like, he's not in charge and Rhea should've probably been the leader of Silver Snow. Haven't played that route yet. I like Seteth. He's got good dad energy and also he's my wife (specifically in Verdent Wind). He's got good vibes. Also, if you kill Flayn in Crimson Flower, his English voice acting when he's like "Flayn Noooo" gets to me. I still really like Seteth. A solid 8/10 for me.

Dmitri

I wasn't following Three Houses advertising at all, so I didn't know anything about anyone going in. I was originally just going to skip him entirely because he looked boring and had shitty hair. So I did his route last. Partially out if curiosity for the character, partially because I might as well do every major route since I'd already done Claude and Edelgard, partially to get to know some of the Blue Lions, and partially because some of Edelgard's backstory is only revealed in this route and I was curious about that. Dmitri's route definitely has the best writing out of any of the routes. I really like how personal the route is and how much it focuses on how one specific event impacted all of the characters in it. There are some big problems I have with the route and Dmitri, like how the game uses psychosis to represent Dmitri being murdery and how him changing his mind felt more like Byleth's decision than his own due to their conversation being pretty bad. But overall, he has the best writing. I'd strongly recommend playing through his route if you haven't just because the writing's rather good there. The reason why he's ranked below Claude and Edelgard, however, is pretty simple: I just don't vibe with him. Like, the hero archetype bores the hell out of me, even when it is subverted like it is here. I also just didn't relate to the character on really any level while I did with Claude and Edelgard. The amount of Edelgard slander in his name also annoys me, but I don't think it really impacts how much I like Dmitri. He's a well written character that I just don't vibe with. I also remember his death in Verdant Wind and being like “wtf was that??” Like, the writers killed him offscreen.. twice. In the same route.

Claude 

I really enjoyed Claude as a character. He left a good first impression on me and I almost picked him for my first playthrough because he’s hot and sassy. Two good traits for any character. I ended up picking Edelgard, though, and he left a good impression on me during CF. I like that he held the alliance together and had a contingency plan for if he lost that battle. When I played his route, I ended up going Hard Mode NG+ Casual and I stuck everyone on a dragon. I did find it funny that throughout the school phase, Claude learns bow stuff repeatedly, then in one of the last months, he went up to me and was like “hey, can you start teaching me in axe and flying?” Which he had nothing in either. Then timeskip happens and he comes waltzing in on a dragon. Claude is where all the good memes in the fandom go. That said, I really disliked his route because Claude felt like an afterthought in it (because he literally was). I don’t like that I got out of the route and it felt like I didn’t know as much more about the character going out than I did going in. Some of that is because I didn’t see a ton of his supports, which is where pretty much all of the character work is. I like how Claude is open minded and actively tries to seek out the truth. So, overall, I found his route a bit disappoint but I still really like him because he’s a fun character.

Edelgard

I fucking love Edelgard. She was my first pick and therefore the character that introduced me to the game, and by extension, the series of Fire Emblem. I picked her because she’s pretty, she looked ready to fistfight god from the word go, and she seemed like the mascot of the game so I figured the writers might put a bit extra effort into her route (they didn’t, rip). My very first playthrough was actually a Normal/Classic run, but I had to abandon the run because literally everyone died four hours into the save (I swapped to Normal/Casual). Edelgard ended up carrying me through my first playthrough. I stuck her on a dragon and she killed literally everyone and everything. In my most recent playthrough of the game, I did CF and made her an archer mage dancer for the memes and that was also a ton of fun to play with. Her gameplay feel had a role in me liking her (like, Dmitri is also very powerful, but it was my third playthrough and I knew what I was doing better by then, so him being just as OP as Edelgard didn’t really influence my opinion on him as much as it did her). 

Besides the gameplay, Edelgard’s probably the major character that I relate to the most. Every character on this list (except maybe Byleth or Yuri, I know literally nothing about Yuri tho) has experience with trauma and is coping with it in some way. Edelgard copes by villainizing herself and shutting off her emotions, but despite that, she’s still a low-empathy person who’s still very compassionate person who cares about others and is trying to do the right thing. She also generally tries to express some amount of compassion to her enemies, even if it’s little more than saying “it sucks that Dmitri had to die.” She’s not as open-minded or as truth-seeking as Claude is, but she still tries to keep herself open to other viewpoints and will readily accept any she deems as valid at a moment’s notice. I just really like that about her because I share a lot of those traits in common with her. I also like the idea of her being someone who’s willing to do evil things to bring good to the world. That’s not something you normally get in a protagonist and I think that’s a cool idea. 

I still found her route to be very awkward, especially with no context. Like, I missed the line where Edelgard’s like “yeah, btw, I’m the Flame Emperor,” so I was just wondering what happened there. It’s an anticlimactic way to end the main plot of the first half of the game. I also didn’t really get Rhea’s angle at all. So the route just felt a lot like “I guess I’m doing this now??” In other routes, I found her deaths to be very hard hitting. The death in Verdant Wind only really got me because I really liked Edelgard and she was my original student and I could feel how much she wanted to make her future a reality and how her failing meant all of those sacrifices she made and the evils she’d done would now all be for nothing. I get that impression with Azure Moon’s ending too. 

Most of my appreciation for the character does come from her support conversations. I like how her chain with Bernie has her trying to learn how to not scare her off. Her interactions with Dorothea in their support chain are kind of sad because Dorothea is trying to show her admiration and love for Edelgard in a way that makes sense to her but then Edelgard’s low view of herself causes her to reject the offer. I really liked her Manuela support too (haven’t seen Hanneman’s but I’ve heard that it’s good). I like how with Manuela, Edelgard learns why people are religious and she that being religious doesn’t make you weak. I like her Linhart support where he calls her out for trying to dictate his life and she responds by trying to overhaul some of her own systems and assumptions about him, which leads to her giving him a role to the empire that also properly accommodates for his needs. I like how with Ferdinand’s supports, he has to learn to let go of their rivalry, but once that does happen, Edelgard takes into account his ideas and roles with them. I think it’s funny that she and Hubert flirt with each other by sending each other credible death threats. Edelgard just has a lot of very good supports. Don’t get me wrong, Claude and Dmitri also have supports that are good (I thought Claude’s support chain with Petra was cute and I really like Dmitri’s support chain with Flayn), but Edelgard’s supports go a long way to paint her as someone who is flawed but still really admirable.

Edelgard is definitely one of my favorite fictional characters, and I’d love to see more characters like her in the future.

[lizacstuff]

Sen Çal Kapımı Fragman 35 Asks

Speculation and Spoiler asks about the 2nd fragman under the cut. (also a few ep 34 asks as well) 

Anonymous said: Thoughts on the new fragman for epi 35?

[Sing-song voice]  Serkan said he loves her! Serkan said he loves her! Serkan said he loves her!

The reign of Deniz and Selin terrorizing them is OOOOOOVER!  The reign of Deniz and Selin terrorizing them is OOOOOOVER!  The reign of Deniz and Selin terrorizing them is OOOOOOVER!  

Serkan said he loves her! Serkan said he loves her! Serkan said he loves her!  [END Sing-song voice]  

Anonymous said: Liza.. That. Fragman!!!!! Whew I had a good feeling the memory loss plot was coming to a close after the 1st fragman revealed they were so close to the wedding day and a new character was announced.. not even mad they spoiled it bc tbh, I needed SOME kinda hope. Based on different translations I'm not sure if the wedding was real yet or not.. and I was wondering what would be the new "thing" for drama in the story.. but edser are back! if it is real, I have hope they're gonna face it together.

EDSER IS BACK!  What do we always say? Fragmans are misleading. And they really chopped up that scene, lots of cuts. So my gut is saying that they want us to think Deniz and Eda marriage is actually legal, but I don’t think that it is. I think it’s a misdirect. 

Because what does Eda and Deniz being married do? Eda will get the Turkish equivalent of an annulment and it’s over. If Deniz did something to trick Eda into a real marriage when she thought it was fake, that will only make her hate him so it’s not like he gets anything out of it. It’s time for this story with Deniz and Selin to be over, so after 6 straight episodes of them having the upper hand over Eda and Serkan, why would the show hand them one last win right as our protagonists are about to triumph over their lies and manipulations?

I saw one translations where the registrar said something like, “awhile ago these two signed a real marriage contract.”  If that’s true, who are these two?  Did Deniz trick Eda into signing a marriage contract awhile ago? Or does this have something to do with Serkan and Eda’s original marriage contract? I have no idea. 

Sadly, With the information we currently have, I assume that is the last scene of the episode and will be a cliffhanger so we may have to live with this question for 10 days, not 3. Hopefully, we’ll have more context after the ep, though.

Anonymous said: Fragman 2 came out I’m so excited!! But idk something is telling me not to get too excited? What if serkan is pretending to remember just to stop the wedding because he fell in love with her again?

I guess my question to you would be, what does it matter? Whether Serkan stopped the wedding because he remembered, or he stopped the wedding because he fell in love with her all over again and said that he remembered because it seemed like the easiest way to make sure she didn’t marry another man, in my mind it’s still all good. He still said I love you, stopped the wedding and is hugging her. I’d say that is plenty to be excited about!!!  

Anonymous said: Or shoot do you think the wedding/remembering might just be eda or serkan’s dream? :(

Oh boy, possibly, but I’m so tired of the speculation that the pivotal moment in every fragman is a dream. I know that the proposal in 25 being a dream eFFed us up, but honestly, it’s no fun to theorize or speculate when you assume everything is not really happening. If it is, so be it, but I’m not gonna spend a ton of energy on that theory.

Anonymous said: The more I think about it, the more I’m convinced that the wedding and remembering is serkans dream. The whole point of eda doing a fake wedding is to provoke serkan right? So if he wasn’t even there (he ran in late) why would she be acting it out, about to say yes? And would the writers really spoil the reunion in the fragman?

Okay, I guess I will spend some energy on it. Good point about her going to the point of fake saying yes when he wasn’t there, but in the fragman she says she’ll do anything to get him back. Maybe she was hoping he would come busting in and as long as its fake, does it matter? Here’s my thing, would the production actually spend a full day shooting with the ENTIRE cast at that wedding location for a dream? Seems like a pretty big expense for a dream. Also they showed a bunch of reactions. Engin, Piril, Leyla, Erdem, and Selin’s. Would a dream go into that level of detail? Complete with Engin being exuberant and Piril looking like she sucked on a lemon? Would Serkan dream about that and having a bruise on his face? Maybe, it would certainly clear away all the problems this scene potentially creates, but it’s not the most plausible scenario to me. 

Anonymous said: Maybe the confession is serkans dream, which makes him realize that even though he doesn’t remember, he still loves her so that provokes him to stop the wedding for real, and then the running/car scenes are real and the ep ends with him walking in on the wedding? Bc during the running/car scenes and when it looks like it first walks into the wedding he has a brown jacket but during the confession he doesn’t

Okay... I guess this theory is super popular. Obviously could be. However, check out the reaction shot of Engin at the wedding again, he’s holding Serkan’s coat.  So a lot happens (obviously) that we didn’t see. I guess somehow Serkan comes down the stairs and takes off his coat and hands it to Engin?

Anonymous said: I wonder why eda has a different wedding dress in each fragman?

Maybe Eda was just trying on dresses when he came in and perhaps there were several? Or maybe she decides not to wear the dress that caused Serkan to look at her like she was the stars and moon combined and say she was beautiful, to fake marry another man?

Episode 34 asks:

Anonymous said: In 34 when Selin takes the pictures to Deniz and they have their argument, did you notice that when Deniz angrily throws the photos/envelope onto the table, one (or two, I can’t remember) photos falls out unnoticed onto the floor? And when Selin takes the envelope back, presumably to dispose of the photos, she doesn’t pick up the one on the floor. Do you think this is significant at all?

I’ve seen this theory, but then I also saw someone point out that when Selin looks at the photos later they are both there. I think that might just be a continuity issue. However, we shall see. Someone has the copies and is texting them to Selin, so it’s not like there’s a shortage of ways for the show to get other eyes on the photos. 

Anonymous said: I agree with you that Eda slapping Serkan after the kiss was a little harsh. When I read the summary for the ep I was expecting him to say something mean, but what he actually said was the best case scenario. Him taking that big of a step in actively WANTING to remember her, especially after the way Ceren worded what she said to him about Eda, was a big deal! And I was like girl, did you not do this exact same thing to him in ep 29 in an effort to make him remember as well? 😂

I agree that his reaction was the best case scenario. She did do that exact same thing. And his reaction was to dazedly wander off and propose to another woman to try and stave off the feels and confusion her kiss wrought. All in all I prefer the slap. 

Personally, I think it was a huge thing that he wanted to kiss her, especially after Ceren’s unbalanced Eda-hate soliloquy at his loft. He didn’t seem to care about Eda being manipulative or selfish, he just seemed jazzed because if true it would mean that she hadn’t been able to move on from their love.

[happymetalgirl]

Album Chronology - Death

The whole ranking-albums-from-worst-to-best has been done to death to the point of staleness at this point, but mostly due to the format, at least to me. I’ve read so many damn worst-to-best lists at this point that they’re all kind of predictable even when they’re seemingly trying to force some kind of novelty or surprise factor by putting a fan-favorite or highly revered album really low in a ranked list. It’s all gotten pretty dry at this point, plus, to me, I can’t help but see a little bit of futility in compiling lists for active artists whose next release will render such a list so quickly obsolete. I honestly had the idea of doing something tier-related to make it less rigid a year or so ago, but lo and behold, tier-list videos are the newest horse getting beaten to death. So rather than jumping around an artist’s catalog and tossing in some spicy hot takes, I figured why not take the chronological approach and trace the story of the artist’s creative trajectory, and not spoil the #1 spot by revealing the #2 spot.

So why do these kinds of lists? Also, why Death?

I make this little chronology to offer my insight into Death’s discography partly for the reason so many others have made similar rankings: to appreciate Death’s music and the huge legacy Chuck Schuldiner left through it. But I also make this because I do think my perspective on Death is a somewhat unique one, at least among Death fans. Chuck Schuldiner was an incredibly talented musician and a beloved figure within the world of metal, and that aspect of his legacy has undoubtedly been enhanced by the untimeliness and unfairness of his passing. The guy certainly had a strong presence on the stage and a certain charisma off of it, and his cherishing of animals surely resonates with me as well. Death was also hardly my first death metal band, so I do think that gives me a bit less of a nostalgic perspective on their legacy. I still enjoy a lot of the same things about Death that most fans do, and at the end of this list, it might not really end up being all that shocking or controversial, just a slightly tempered version of what most fans would make. I’m pretty long-winded, so I’ll cut the intro and get into the music: Death.

1987 - Scream Bloody Gore

I have to reinforce my position right from the get-go about having a more measured view of the band’s catalog because the spicy takes come right out of the gate with Death’s debut album, Scream Bloody Gore. The sour really isn’t all that sour and it comes with a little bit of sweet right afterward too: I think this is Death’s worst album. But that just means it only gets better from here, and I do still really like it. It’s a classic in its own right that started Death on a more solid footing than the average debut project in very new territory at the time and I again do genuinely still like it a lot; I own it, along with the rest of the band’s catalog, on vinyl. But it is, as I mentioned, a first step into new territory, and rather naturally primordial, which indeed has its own appeal in the context of the era it came from and for which it deserves tremendous appreciation. There is indeed a lot to appreciate here. I love the persistence of the bass line in the title track, the hooks of songs like “Zombie Ritual” and “Baptized in Blood”, and the amped up Slayer-inspired extremification of thrash metal that would only snowball further as the band and the genre they helped pioneer progressed. But the primary role Scream Bloody Gore served was to lay the groundwork for Death to expand upon in that early era that would itself later become the groundwork for their more ambitious progressive tilt during the second half of their career. I’ll throw it out right here just to get it outbid then way, it’s not exactly a hot take, but some Death fans are partial the other way; it’s probably already evident, but I prefer the band’s second era from Human to Perseverance. Personally I think bands like Morbid Angel and Cannibal Corspe were more suited to this primal gory form of early death metal, and I think Death would have wound up being seen as merely a pretty good band in a tier below those guys if they had stuck with what they were doing with their debut and the two albums that followed for the rest of their career. Again, Scream Bloody Gore is by no means a bad album, or even a rough start, kind of a Kill ‘em All sort of debut that laid solid foundations and allowed for greatness to follow but indeed stands well enough on its own.

7/10

1988 - Leprosy

The band’s sophomore release just a year later showed immediate signs of improvement. The trimmed track list with more meticulously groomed songs (and a greater density of sick riffs) produced several live staples for the band, like the title track, “Left to Die”, and especially the ever-traditional concert-closer “Pull the Plug”. But there was more than just better riffs and more focus on perfecting the songs here. The production on Leprosy was clearer than the band’s debut the year before, and the writing was generally more sophisticated too, incorporating a bit more flashy technicality that would soon escalate to an echelon that would end up characterizing their sound more comprehensively. Soon-to-be vestigial characteristics of the debut album still remained: tons of wailing Slayer-sequence guitar solos, thrashy blast beats, the focus of palm-muted tremolo riffing, and more fantastical, brutal lyricism. But Leprosy presented these more mid-brow elements in a more impressive arrangement than its predecessor.

8/10

1990 - Spiritual Healing

My personal favorite of the band’s grittier first half of their career, Spiritual Healing was really just a more consistent continuation (to my ears at least) of the refined early death metal sound of Leprosy. The band were starting to develop a more signature style of riffing, as well as soloing that they would take with them into their next four albums. By now most of the gory detail was taking the backseat to Schuldiner’s psychological analysis of certain “Defensive Personalities”, parasitic religious manipulation by televangelists, and prenatal cocaine exposure. The more high-mindedness of Spiritual Healing also ushered in another ramp up in the band’s technicality that made the progression into the heady technical death metal of Human a rather natural one. The band’s last album in their so-called “traditional” or “brutal” or “classic” death metal era played around a lot more with the dynamic range of the genre and it really ran the gamut of what Death had done up to that point within that style of death metal and beyond, the title track being my personal favorite example of this ability the band had to contort the genre to fit their more expansive needs while keeping everything in the confines of death metal. It’s my favorite song on the album and of this era of Death’s career. At this point, Death had pretty robustly demonstrated their ability with the genre in its more primitive form, and evolved it along the way quite a lot at that, to the point where they really had nothing more they had to say with the style, an impressive feat after three albums. Sure they could have probably spun their tires in the mud for a few more albums (knowing now that Chuck Schuldiner sadly only had a little more than a decade left), but the direction this album had the band heading in was pretty apparent. The only question was if the band would take the leap into the upper echelons of technicality and explore the new frontier that they were headed toward. Thankfully for us, the band had plenty of ambition left in them. As for the last album of their first half of their career, it’s hard to find many complaints with, and one that capped off this era of Death in complimentary fashion.

9/10

1991 - Human

After reaching their peak with bruntly aggessive death metal, Death’s fourth album began a second act for the band, one that sought to elevate their style to a more progressive form of death metal. It was a change that was pretty strongly indicated by the direction the band had been heading in and the step up in technicality on Spiritual Healing. Human takes the solos and the fast-paced guitar passages and bass lines to new extremes that the genre had never seen before, and the lyrical shift to more heady, cerebral, existential themes fit well with the significantly increased musical complexity that the album introduced. The technically dazzling yet infectious riffing of “Together as One” and “Flattening of Emotions”, the still-tasty hooks of the former and “Suicide Machine”, and the tasty percussive rhythm of “Lack of Comprehension” made those songs live staples. The band were still kind of finding their footing with the compositional aspects of this new realm, but the grounding in the aggression of their previous work with the voyage into the techy unknown was a good thing to start with and a good way to explore some new sonic territory while safely tethered to what was effective for them previously that produced some pretty impressive results.

8/10

1993 - Individual Thought Patterns

Carrying forward the ambition for significantly increased technicality that began with Human on to their fifth album, Death were still getting the hang of things with Individual Thought Patterns, which isn’t all to surprising or something to impugn the band for given the difficulty mode that had selected to play the creative game on, and the band still made some significant improvements with the integration of the hyperspeed technicality into their sound. Even more than the subsequent Symbolic, Individual Thought Patterns made the technicality so much more of a focus where, to me, this was Death’s first bonafide technical death album. Human was definitely pretty technical, but on Individual Thought Patterns, Death cut the cord and let themselves float off into the dizzying cosmos of instrumental technicality and tailored their compositional practices to fit that need. If there was any contingent of fans struggling to keep up with Death’s progression or hoping for a scale-back to the more brutish early albums, they were left behind with Individual Thought Patterns, save perhaps for the consolation of more traditionally groovy closing track, “The Philosopher”, but rampant speed-fests like “Overactive Imagination” and odd-timed melodic groovers like “Trapped in a Corner” quickly became fan favorites. If there’s one thing Individual Thought Patterns lacked, it was balance, but that wasn’t going to be a problem for very long...

8/10

1995 - Symbolic

Ah, Symbolic, there’s not gonna be any surprising bucking of the trend or “bold” underrating here. In a catalog that so many fans regard as perfect, Symbolic stands out as the most common fan favorite, and for good reason. The album synthesized everything that had made Death such a force to be reckoned with in the death metal world. Weaving together the early era’s delicious primal grooves, the elevated technicality that had become a solidified facet of the band’s style, and their newly blossoming progressive inclinations, Symbolic remains the band’s most comprehensively representative and accomplished work, the best place for any newcomer to the legendary act to start, and the best album in their acclaimed discography. The song-writing is tight and interesting from start to finish, seasoned with both tasty riffs and captivating displays of technicality that enhanced the songs rather than the players’ appetites for indulgence, and kept consistently interesting with frequent tasteful dynamic shifts and surprising twists and turns. I would undoubtedly go on forever if I were to detail the brilliance of every song on here, the majestic melodies and winding structure of “Crystal Mountain”, the catchy commentary on mass surveillance of “1,000 Eyes”, the invigorating double-bass of “Misanthrope”, and the iconic riffing of the opening title track. Instead I’ll quickly highlight two songs that seem to go unnoticed that I find particularly beautiful for the unexpected compositional moves Death makes on them. The first is the song, “Without Judgement”, which abruptly drops its techdeath winding to hypnotize with a gorgeous and emotive melodic solo that seems rather uncharacteristic for Death that I just love, and the second is the closing track, “Perennial Quest”. It’s the longest song in the band’s discography up to this point, only to be just marginally eclipsed by “Flesh and the Power It Holds” on the subsequent album, and it embarks on a similarly proggy and melodic odessey to that of “Crystal Mountain”, but it’s the somber and mournful electric/acoustic outro that would soon become all too tragic for Death fans to listen to that concludes the album on such a heartfelt note in such beautifully fitting fashion. There’s no other moment like it in Death’s catalog, and it’s always a solemn, conclusive reminder of just how much light Chuck Schuldiner and Death brought to this world and how lucky we are to have albums like this. I’ll end my sentimental bit here and conclude by briefly summing up my thoughts on the album. Symbolic is Death’s magnum opus and a masterpiece among masterpieces that captures nearly everything that makes Death and death metal appealing and that had made the genre so predominant for decades since, and beyond being their best, to me, it is a perfect album.

10/10

1998 - The Sound of Perseverance

Death’s final album seemed to set them on yet another new musical course after the second run through the steady improvement over the course of a three-album cycle. The longest album of the band’s seven and including the longest songs in their catalog on average, The Sound of Perseverance took Death on quite the progressive joyride, and surprisingly (to me at least) it kind of split and confused some fans who had just gotten used to the band’s digestible technicality on Symbolic. Granted, I was just a little baby bitch boy when this came out, but personally I don’t see why this was such a shock to the system for so many fans (apparently), the band had always been pretty ambitious and this was a pretty logical next step for them to expand their continually expanding sound. The structures on the band’s seventh album are less conventional and more packed with extensive technical passages, and the band do pull out a good few more surprises than they ever did in any album previously, like the acoustic/electric guitar-solo instrumental “Voice of the Soul”. But The Sound of Perseverance is by no means any kind of contrived over-indulgence in ideas grander than what the band could accomplish or frothy wank-fest. The band was already developing a bit of a progressive bend in the previous three-album arc and they simply took it to the next level the same way they did with their instrumental technicality on Human. And fans did indeed vibe with plenty of songs on The Sound of Perseverance, with the impressively vocally high soaring “Spirit Crusher”, the angular and unpredictable “Scavenger of Human Sorrow, and even the lengthy, and indeed structurally confounding, prog-techdeath monolith “Flesh and the Power It Holds” making their way into the band’s setlists on their last tours. And of course the album ends on the well-earned, fun, high-octane cover of Judas Priest’s “Painkiller”, which finds Schuldiner incredibly nailing the songs high melody with his high-pitched death shrieking style (and finishing with never-before-heard clean vocals). For the reputation it has for eschewing balance for high-minded progness, The Sound of Perseverance is by no means a hard pivot from or unrecognizable from Symbolic. Its bold expounding upon aspects of their sound that already seemed pretty evolved while remaining musically engaging and not sacrificing what made their previous work appealing, and sheer magnitude and impressiveness of the band’s third venture into new territory again do sometimes make me question whether I like it more than Symbolic. While it did seem to pave the way for another new mind-blowing era of Death that death took away from us, The Sound of Perseverance has become a glorious and aptly titled swan song and a testament to the band’s and Schuldiner’s relentless ambition and, indeed, genius. Eternal cheers to Chuck and to Death.

9/10

And that’s it, eleven years and seven albums that continually revolutionized death metal and paved the way for so much of what we hear today. Anyone reading this of course probably knows most of all of this, but it’s still astonishing to think about how much Death did for the genre in such a relatively short time, and, for me at least, even having already been a pretty big fan of Death, listening to these albums from Scream Bloody Gore to The Sound of Perseverance, it reminded me more viscerally of the quality of the music and respected legacy of the band that I have always intellectually acknowledged and agreed with, which I figured I’d share here. If, somehow, you’ve come across this and you’re not into Death or death metal but you’re open to it and interested, you’re in for a treat. Put on Symbolic and just enjoy the trip down the rabbit hole.

[lillaxtrigger]

Young Hope: Chapter 40

The afternoon sun beats down upon the planes of suburbia just outside of Townsville; some of its warming light beaming straight through the window of a residence and cast upon the bottom half of a blue haired woman, who stands atop a step stool as she reaches up to her kitchen ceiling fan. Carefully does she continue to unscrew the fan’s frame keeping it atop the kitchen, each screw she twists out dropping down into the palm of her hand; one of them winds up slipping out from her grasp and falling to the tile floor. As she peers down to the screw that had just dropped, the woman is left astonished when finding a lone limb of pure black slither through the air underneath; the shock alone upsetting her balance and causing her to fall right off the stool and onto the floor. Amidst shaking off the short fall does the blue haired woman then watch’s the slithering limb split apart into two; one part reaching over to the fridge while the other heads up to the cabinet beside. From within the fridge does one strand pull out the jug of whole milk while the other takes out a tall glass out from the cabinet; pouring the milk right up near the rim of the glass before neatly putting the galleon right back inside before slithering back through the kitchen with glass in hand.

With a short breath escaping from her lips does the woman’s daughter race right on into the kitchen; giving the woman a hand as she asks:

“Mom! You alright?”

“Yeah Mally. Just got a little spooked by Roy’s new arm is all.” the mother explains as she’s pulled back onto her feet. “Oh yeah. It’s taking me a little bit longer to get used to too.”

“Don’t get me wrong. I’m so glad for Roy getting a brand new arm to replace the old one he lost several months back, but the way you described how it just came bursting out from his arm socket still has me concerned. Have you at least talked to him about it yet?” “I’ve been giving him some time to enjoy having both arms again before spoiling the fun. It’s been only a week now since we got back home.”

“Well when do you think it might be time to let the party train grind to a halt to check the cargo its got in the back?” “I think I might just start.” the orange girl answers before strolling off towards the hall.

Waltzing right through their hallway does Mally head towards the slightly cracked open door set along the very end of the hall; the roller bladder slowly pushing the door open and letting the hallway light seep into the darkened room. “Roy...You in here?” she says out tot he dark, baiting nothing but silence. Among peering through the dark recesses do a pair of violet glowing eyes emerge from the void; the silhouette they belong to lumbering closer as they stare upon the young lady. Finally pushing the bedroom wide open does the hallway light flood through the room and reveal the purple angel himself standing before the girl; Roy looking to her with a calming smile and uttering:

“Hey there.”

As the merc starts to drink the glass of milk held in his arm of pure black, the orange lass slowly steps into his bedroom as she asks:

“Hey Roy...So uh, h-how have ya been feeling this past week with your new arm?”

“Holy shit. It’s been so fucking great. I didn’t think I’d miss having both arms this badly. Plus with all that my new arm is capable off, I’m finding new ways to put it to use that his old limb could only gestural feint over; some uses far more pleasurable than before.”

“Yeah, I get it. You can have sex with people using your arm. What I’m really asking here is if you’ve felt even the slightest bit off since it came bursting out yer side? Any odd or upsetting thoughts going through your head...like more depraving than usual?” Mally retells. “Eh...outside of wondering if a dead body could be stuffed inconspicuously inside a recliner for about a week without no one noticing, haven’t really had much like that on the mind.” “Any physical pain or altercations?”

“Hmm...Nope.”

“Really?...Take your hoodie off then.”

“Whoa, whoa, Mal. I know were not blood related. But I still see you as a little sister so that’d be pretty damn wro-”

“Just take it off!”

“Alright, fine. Jesus.” the merc complies with, starting to slip off his treasure purple hood.

Upon finally beholding her brother’s bare chest do the skater’s eyes widen as her pupils shrink, nearly falling over as she screams out through the house:

“Holy shit!”

“Mally! What did I say about cussing in the hou- Oh my god!” the mom comes over to scold, though left just as taken aback when beholding the same sight as her daughter. Both of them are left horrified when discovering numerous black veins that run right across the purple merc’s bare chest like an encroaching infection and covering his upper body; Roy left wondering to both of them:

“The hell are you girl’s screaming about?” “You can’t be serious.” Mally utters.

“Honey, have you checked yourself in the mirror lately?” the mom questions with quiet worry. “Oh, you mean all these going through my bod. Pretty damn cool, right?”

“No!” the blue haired mother blurts out.

“I-is-is that-I Iiis all that even hurting you, making you bleed out or something!” Mally asks. “Chill, alright. I’ve never felt better. All this is just fine.”

“It’s pulsating veins are literally rooting through your body!” the mom adds.

“Oh my god. I seriously can’t believe you two. I finally gotten a break after all the messed up bull I gone through and your practically demonizing the prize I won at the end. Can’t you people be happy that I got an arm again, one that’s better than the old one?” Roy complains. “Roy, were not worried about you having a new arm. We’re worried about what it’s doing to you.” the mom specifies. “How do you two know it ain’t doing anything bad, maybe all this black veins going through my bod is improving me like nanomachines making him stronger; like that one guy in Metal Gear Rising. What was his name again? How the hell am I forgetting his name?” “We need to see a doctor about this.” the mom claims. “Mom, what would a doctor even start to make of this? I doubt they could give a feasible diagnosis over something this outlandishly dark appendage that came spurting out.” her daughter mentions. “What else can we do about it?” the blue haired woman questions back. ‘Uh...Alex said that this thing was made up of the same stuff he was. But that really doesn’t say much. Roy, you got his number right? Think giving him a call might be best on the table.” the skater comes to. “Already tried. Every call just goes to voice mail. Can’t sense him anywhere in Town either. Fact, he’s been off the grid since we got back. Hope the little gremlin hasn’t gotten into anything serious.”

“Right, fine. With that option out, we’ll just have to stop by a couple friends to see if they can help. But who to see first?” the skater wonders aloud. The merc suddenly snaps his fingers as he flashes a smile, stating how:

“Senator Armstrong! That’s what his name was.”

The very first stop that both Roy and Mally take under this investigation is with the potion witch herself, Serena; who they meet in the Townsville Library. More specifically within the recently uncovered underbelly of the library filled with enchanting books and mystical tomes. Sliding her finely polished nail across the wall of ancient hardback, the witch pulls out a lone book straight from the shelves; all the while telling the two behind her how:

“I seriously can’t thank you two enough for discovering this incredible collection hidden away underneath the library. All the new potion recipes that I’ve gotten from their pages have been one hot seller after another since you two dug it up.” “Ain’t no big deal. Really we just stumbled onto this by complete accident. I just hope the clean up crew removed all the trap set up in here.” the orange skater responds. Right on that mark do they all then here the sound of a magical explosion go off along the side; all of them peeking right over to find  one of the library goers having his lower torso replaced with that of a spider, all while scream out in an utter panic. “Ah! Ah! Oh god! Why!?” the poor bastard shouts as a batch of silk spews out from his fresh new abdomen.

“So...What’s this little book stop gotta do with what came bursting out my side?” Roy get back on track with. “During one of my little glazes through this uncovered library, I stumbled across a tome of Mythological Chinese stories. One of them kinda reminds me of your arm in a strange way.”

“Where’s that.” Mally questions. “Think I last saw that Tome along the very back of the right side of the library. It might be the one sitting in the middle of the shelf.” “Kay, gimme a sec here.” the purple merc tells them, casting forth his arm of pitch black out beyond the railing and right across the outlook; stretching straight out to the other side. Slithering through sections does the arm slide past several other library goers, each one of them left astonished as the limb moves past. Skimming along the spines of every single book on the shelf does the merc finally pull out one in particular labeled as “The mythical fables of the ancient east” and withdraws the tome back to his side. “This it?” “Yep. The very same one.” the potion witch confirms. “You know what that story you mentioned says?” Mally asks. “Mm. I’ve olny read about a paragraph or two while on my recipe hunt.”

“That case. Guess we better just crack this thing open and feast on the festering brain food dwelling inside.” the merc goes. “Roy, dial it down for god sake.” his sister tells him as they both head over towards a desk.

Slapping the old book right onto the ancient stone library desk do the two of them get started in the table of context as Serena tells them that:

“Alright you two. I’ll be looking through more of the shelves if you need me.” “Careful of tripwires along the floor.” Mally warns her with as they part. Cracking the tome right open, the two of them immediately begin their search through the table of contents; reading out the titles of numerous legends such as: “The Oni and the flowerpot” “The natural Maiden of white snow” “The myth of the True eye Hawk bow” “The meeting of the Nord and the Imperial Lord”. “Ah...Oh, here might be something, “The tale of the Samurai and the black demon.” the orange young lady grabs her brother’s attention with.

“Long ago in an ancient land, a great and powerful mass of black had descended from the heavens and arose as a powerful shape shifting master of darkness; determined to dominate the land of China and all who dwell within with unspeakable evil power unmatched. Before the mystical land could be swallowed by such unrelenting darkness, the land’s lord sent away his only son and the one katana of evil’s bane out from their homeland so that his heir would escape to one day defeat this powerful and liberate his homeland. Through out every corner of the globe has this young heir hone his skills with many masters as his guide; his abilities and way of the blade growing alongside his age throughout the many years.

After a long 15 years of grueling training, the boy, now a fully fledged samurai, was ready to return home; determined to free his people from the monstrous evil that had scarred the land of the east. Among his return upon a horse of white; the powerful demon stared down upon the Samurai as he had stepped forth to appose him; the monster burning eyes staring down upon the Samurai as he unsheathed the blade of evil’s bane. The battle for not just the Samurai’s homeland, but for the world over had finally begun its finale.

Long and harrowing was their fight, the demon assuming many forms in opposition to the Samurai; who with fleet foot, tore through the monster’s very form that no other mortal could. No matter what form the demon had taken, no matter what trickery or power it had fought back with, the monster of darkness could not stand against the holy weapon of the Samurai; the katana slicing off piece after piece of the demon’s body. In the final moments of the grueling battle did the demon lay helpless before the Samurai; it body scattering to dust when the last blow had been struck. Finally, after decades of suffering had the demon been defeated and the land of the east free from its harrowing evil; the Samurai, reclaiming his kingdom and bringing forth a long awaited age of prosperity and peace.

Yet despite this victory over the demon of evil, its remains are left scattered throughout the world; ever seeking, ever yearning to be whole once more with its very kin. Yet for what reason does it continue to live? To regain control over the world it once sought to rule, or to return from the very stars it once came to be. Only time shall bestow upon us all such an answer.”

Upon finishing this tale of triumph and warning, Mally is left taken aback by all that they have read; sitting back along the side of a stone shelf as she goes:

“My god. Can’t believe that demon just came down and took over China in just a day. If Serena thinks that monster might be related, what’s that even say about what’s attached to your side?...What’s it even say about Alex?” “Come on Mal. You’re taking this way too seriously. You really think this charcoal Spaghetti strand attached to my side is gonna turn me into an unsympathetic horrible tyrant?”

In thinking over this does Mally try to take a few moments to think over her brother’s answer; Roy’s expression souring with each passing second. “For fuck sa-. Fine, if you still on the fence, then how bout we stop over at Hank’s and have him call up Melvin. That boy got a sweet set of demon hands like my arm and the worst he’s ever been was a compact ball of insecurity and anger issues wrapped up on a 14 year old twinkus. And that was even before he got them.”

“Checking up on him might not be a bad idea. Last time we hung out wasn’t exactly a pleasant spelunking trip.” the orange skater agrees.

Along the suburban skies above does a young boy strapped into a decked out wheelchair glide through the clear blue skies; the chair bound boy yipping and cheering with the sort of glee a 10 year old on Christmas would make after seeing all the presents in the living room. Right below this airborne lad does both Mally and Roy finish up speaking to the chairbound pilots cousin; Melvin leaning along the side of Hank’s abode as the orange skater finishes explaining how:

“That’s pretty much how Roy’s new arm came out. Came straight out of his side like an actual chestburster.”

“Shit man. Way I wound up getting my hands ain’t nowhere as gory as that. Worse I got was some broken bones and bruises.” the young man claims. “Think you could go into detail about how ya got them?” the merc request. “Nah, fuck that. I ain’t tellin.”

“Can you at least tell us if you’ve felt anything strange or off since ya gottem. Any physical pains or strange thoughts going through your head.” Mally then asks. “Outside a couple of mildly weird dream. Got nothin going on.” Melvin ultimately concludes. “Huh...good to here at least.”

Its then that their attention is drawn up to the young man gliding in the skies above them, pulling off rolls and loop de loops as his cheering echoes across the neighborhood. “The hell he’s so giddy for.” Roy wonders. “Couple a guys came over the other day and asked him to join in some little club and he’s been flying high since.” Melvin answers. “Who came over?”

“The Vanguard League!” all of them hear he chairbound genius cry out, the three peering over to watch as Hank comes in for a landing; his wheels kicking up a cloud of dirt as he skids to a stop before them all.

“They came over!? That’s incredible, Hank! What position did you land a spot in?” Mally ecstatically questions. “Ya’ll looking at the new head of the Technological Department. Making new gadgets and inventions to help fight crime, save lives, and help people worldwide; all alongside the greatest of young minds this generation has to offer. I can’t wait to get started after the announcement this coming weekend.” “Had a feeling they’d come around to check you out sooner or later. I don’t think they picked a better boy for the job.” Mally congratulates Hank with, the chair bound genius letting out a bright smile. “What about you Melvin, you think about standing alongside your cuz and the other heroes?” the boy then questions. “You shitting me, right? You think you’d catch me being bossed around like that? Hell no.”

“What about you Mal?” “Uh. Leaning on it, but I ain’t too sure which department to join.”

“Hey, no pressure; just good luck with whatever ya choose. Meantime, I better spruce up and polish up my equipment before the weekend announcement comes around. Catch you later.” the chairbound genius bids farewell with as he presses a couple of buttons on his chair; an exhaust along the back firing out and rocketing him right on inside. From listening to several things crash and break from inside, Melvin decides to race right on after while exclaiming:

“Dammit, the hell did we talk about doing that indoors!?”

“Whelp, guess we don’t got anything to worry about. See ya.” Roy claims while in the midst of taking off out into the air. Before the violet angel could ascend too far up into the cloudless skies, the shell of a yo yo wraps itself right around the merc’s very leg; Roy peering down from the string to see Mally ready to bring him right back down. With but a single tug does the skater manage to send the purple merc straight down towards the earth; the angel crashing right down into the grassy backyard in a plume of dirt. “Yeah, were nowhere near done yet. We ain’t closing this case til we figure out what this arm of yours is made of and where it came from.” the orange lass claims. “Agh! That book we read up on said that whatever it was came from space; serious fucking doubt you know anyone else that came from beyond the star.” Roy explains while climbing out from the dirt, soon finding his sister wearing a knowing smile.

Traveling deep within the very heart of the woodlands just outside the city, the two of them step right on inside of a downed space ship; whereupon the violet angel beholds the alien trio that his sister had befriended.

“Hot damn, Mally. Can’t believe you were keepin this little part of the woods all to yourselves and didn’t bother saying a thing to us.” Roy smoothly exclaims. “Figured you might’ve sensed them all out anyway. Surprised you didn’t know until now.” Mally acknowledges. “You kidding. With all the weird shit that goes on in this town already? How you figure I was gonna stumble on this?” “Also thought they might enjoy the privacy and not have every government agent or crackpot conspiracy nutter come knocking at their door and demand to know what sort of part of congress they control or whatever excuse they pull outta their ass.”

“Still, not hard to imagine why you and your teach would want to keep these choice pieces of intergalactic intimates all to themselves; you serious stumbled onto one hell of a galactic goldmine with this set of sweet sweet alien asses. Definitely like to double down on the fish guy and the girl with the eyeliner in an intergalactic seafood platter; maybe finish off with the hooded piece of alien booty as dessert right there. This spread here’s the fucking motherload, and papa Roy here don’t want a piece, he want’s the whole fucking buffet.” the purple angel elaborates aloud, the three growing further upset and creeped out as she continues speaking.

Amidst the merc’s overwhelming horniness does a comically oversized wrench come flying and hits the back of the violet angel’s head; Roy holding the spot he got struck as he violently trembles. “Fucking…”

“While it’s flattering that you primates have at least decent tastes in knowing a fine catch when you see one. I am very aware when the line of thirst starts to cross harassment territory.” Vain assures. “Seriously kid, did you really just stop by just to have this purple prick gawk at us like an overly excited Splartian Hound in heat; ready to thrust its privates into anything that can bother pulsating in view. Cause I thought the fact that were stuck on this damn rock was getting you off enough.” Catastrophe questions. “Actually, we were hoping you three wound help us out with trying to figure out what exactly my bro’s new arm is made of.” the orange skater finally answers. “Really? I thought that human’s just grow their limbs back when one of them’s broken, just rip it right off to have another one come in the following week.” the charming alien fish boy comments. “That is...nowhere near how human biology works. Seriously hope you weren’t planning on testing that.” Mally worries. Right on that very queue does one of the boxes in the room tip over and partially reveal an unconscious man stowed away within; moaning aloud as he attempts to climb out with one of his arms taken away and stitched up wounds. Discovering this, Mally turns her upset glare over to the trio, Cat claiming that:

“Hey, don’t give us any bull. Dumbass just seriously wondered in here.”

“We gave him some amnesics to make him forget.” Tizzy adds. Clutching the barely conscious man by his shoulders does Cat stroll over to the door while dragging the poor guy along the floor; the alien girl tossing the guy straight out into the woods.

“Why you up and figure it was best to come here to try a figure out the hell is your bro’s arm.” Tizzy asks. “Well, one book we read on it mentioned that this stuff wound up coming from the depths of space and was hoping that-”

“Oh yes, I see. Since were not from your planet, that would make us the knowledge keepers of all that occupy alongside the stars. Is that it?” Vain accuses. “I was thinking since your parents were intergalactic conquerors, figured that maybe they’ve seen something like this before during a conquest.” Mally quickly gives context for. “Afraid your shit outta like, neither of our mom’s speak a mere mention of whatever disgusting growth came out of your brother’s side; pretty sure if we did, they’d tell us in the form of a terrifying bedtime story told to make ya piss yourself.” Cat explains. “Indeed. Truly humiliating.” “Vain, didn’t you wind up soaking your entire mattress once?” Tizzy wonders. “That was when we got back from swimming and you know it!”

“Kay here. Doesn’t this ship has some advance tech straight out from the realms of a shitty 90’s cartoon? You guys gotta at least got anything that can tell us what his arm’s made off?” Roy then interjects with. “If this ship didn’t take a crashing nosedive straight down into your planets crap that you call soil, we wouldn’t be talking right now. You really think that they wound up getting anything working in the span of a month since we touched down on this overpopulated rock in the middle of the space boonies?”

“Actually, I just finished getting the Material Analyzer up and running a few days ago. We could try that?” Tizzy then mentions.

“Ugh, fine whatever. The sooner you start, the sooner you leave. Make it quick.”

Somewhere within the ship does Roy have his arm of demonic pure black stuck right in a spherical chamber as numerous lasers and lights scan every single inch of them limb; all the data it collects showing up on a screen outside the chamber that Tizzy carefully observe. From this high tech device, a small beep them sounds off; queuing Tizzy to tell them:

“And the analysis is finished. You can take it out now.” “Holy shit finally. Started getting numb after the last half hour. Stuck my hand up something longer, but that’s a story for another day.” Roy states as he slithers his fresh pitch black arm out of the analysis machine’s inner chamber. “So, whatcha come up with?” the orange skater asks. “Well, there doesn’t seem to be anything else belonging to your brother inside. No bones, veins, blood, nothing. Kinda shocking given how close to unstable it is.”

“Anything else?”

“Well, there’s one detail that popped up that bothered me. The genetic make up of his arm primarily consists of strung together chemicals compounds such as Epinephrine, glutamate, Cortisol, Adrenaline, and slight traces of Serotonin. The stuff in your brains that make you feel angry, sad, and scared.” “Is that seriously... why did a bunch of emotional brain juice burst out from Roy’s side and solidify into a working appendage?”

“Maybe that’s something you should ask him.”

The alien suggesting this, the orange skater turns over to her purple brother to ask of him:

“Roy, what might’ve been going through your head moments before that thing came out of you ?” “Well...ya know how we were fighting that giant wood guardian in that hidden Jurassic land and how Alex got fucking impaled right through the stomach?”

“Yeah. I still remember how I felt when I saw that. But how did that wind up triggering you to grow an arm?”

“When I beheld the site of the little devil on a stick, something flashed before my eyes; an image that I felt burst out from the depths of my soul. Two figures, one stabbing the other through the stomach, one wearing a gleeful smile while the other leaked tears from above its horrified frown; both staring out with their hollow white eyes. That alone reminded me of a site that I kept buried deep down for years; and it all suddenly just came up at once like an explosion of confusion, regret, and rage. The closest I could describe it being like would be his mind of the proverbial traumatic edge; teetering on the cusp of madness.”

Upon hearing the purple merc elaborate on the thoughts going through his head is the entire room left at a complete silence; Mally gazing to her violet brother with a mixture of remorse, pity and regretful guilt. Before the orange girl could give even a little word of comfort to him do all of them hear a sharp whistle cut straight through the quiet; the three peering back towards the door to discover Catastrophe leaning against the doorway. “Now that shit’s a full season of a show right there. Closest thing to entertainment I got since crash down on this pathetic little rock.”

“Cat.” Tizzy lightly snaps out. “Something about my emotional trauma funny to ya?” Roy then questions. “You kidding? It’s like one of those shitty characters with a bad backstory crowbarred in to make idiots think they’re deep. Fucking riot right there.”

Amidsts stepping up against the hooded alien girl, the violet angel’s wings sprout forth as the fingers along his pitch black arm starts to get antsy; going on to trash talk on how:

“Guess being on your mama’s little warship for most of your life, ya never really got to feel what its like to be on the other end of life’s massive jackboot. Never really feeling what its like have shit throw right at ya. The fucked up thoughts going through yer head as the memories of all that ya lost come flooding out and crashing onto your psyche til your heads on the verge of melting from the madness…You wanna know what that sort of self inflicting degradation can feel like?”

“That a threat?” Cat wonders with a confident smirk; both of them stand face to face one another as the two give off an overgrowing sense of rising tension. Right as Roy was in the midst of transforming his new arm, something along his other side takes a gentle hold upon the merc’s other limb and breaches through to him, quelling the building rage within; the purple angel gazing off to the side to discover his little sister staring up to him with the look of “Please don’t do it” in her eyes.

In seeing the desperate plea set in his sisters eyes does the purple merc let out a small sigh as he finally breaks away from the antagonizing alien, marching right past Catastrophe and out to the corridor; the violet angel punching the side of the doorway hard enough to leave a hell of a dent. As Mally takes her leave after her pissed off brother, Tizzy approaches her sister with a hammer and tells her to: “Come on. You’re helping me hammer that dent out.” “Like hell I am. Why the hell should I fix something that our guest broke in his little pissy fit?” “Pretty sure you threw a pretty similar one when vain used your little blanket as a dung disposal cleaner.” “You swore never to bring that up!” the two of them hear their semi aquatic brother shout out to them.

As both brother and sister exit out from the downed spacecraft, the orange lass between them starts to apologize with:

“Roy...I-I’m so sorry. I just can’t believe that I didn’t catch on what was bugging you sooner than later. I-I didn’t realize that you were thinking about what happened at-”

“Mally, chill. Ain’t know way you could’ve known the sort of shit that was going through my head. I get you were just worried. But I’ll be just fine. Kay?”

“Hey! What happened back then effected Tore and I too. You ain’t alone on this...Anything ya wanna talk about, we’re here for ya.” “Hm hm hm...Thank’s Mal.” Roy returns with, a heartwarming smile etched across the merc’s face. “No prob...So...You thinkin about headin home?”

“Nah. Still got some stuff to take care of. I’ll be home a little later.”

“Kay. Just don’t get into too much trouble.”

Warning her brother of this does the orange skater swiftly don her skating gear and take off out into the woods; Roy in turn sprouting forth his angelic black wings and taking off into the orange twilight skies.

Among his glide above the nearly thick woodlands, Roy flies back out towards the city of Townsville with the setting sun glistening its twilight gaze at his back; his smile starting to dissipate the farther he flies. “You’ve been awfully quiet about all this.” he suddenly says aloud to break the silence. Out from the depths of his mind does a woman’s voice echo through the merc’s head; responding in kind to him with:

“What do you mean by that?”

“Hera, you usually just chime in in the middle of all this to give some sort of support or to stop me from doing something arguably reprehensible. What’s the deal this time?”

“Roy, have you ever thought a goddess such as I has other duties and responsibilities to tend to then communing with the only mortal I can converse with?”

“...You hiding something aren’t ya?”

“What!? Preposterous! What would urge you to accuse me of something like that?”

“Even with only having clocked in about 16 and a half years in this fucked up game some of us have to call life; I’ve been around long enough to see the warming signs of someone having a long list of secrets hidden somewhere in the bunkers of their head. And a goddess like you without a hell of a doubt’s gotta have some stowed away that vault ya call a head. With what’s on me having been once part of a mighty monster that nearly overtook the world; you think that keeping an eye on even a piece of it would warrant obligation. But Guess not, guess we’ll just blind move along through life; leaving me ignorant of what a threat this could possibly grow into until its far too late and lives are lost. But hey, what’s it with mortals wanting to question what may become of them midst affairs which affect their world, right?”

“Roy, believe me when I say I can’t bring myself to simply tell you with my own words. But if you really wish for the truth and what your arm has to do with me; then I can point you in the right direction.” the goddess in his head assures. “Eh, fair enough. Lead the way.”

The night upon Townsville had come to blanket the city in a think darkness, with nothing but the shadows to accompany the roaming night owls. Atop the mayor building, a dark winged figure hovers down to the very top of its dome rooftop; where upon its arm transforms into a sharp blade that cuts right through its very stone. Cutting a piece right off the roof, the figure lifts the piece right off and slips right on inside.

Along the inside the main office is the door unlocked when a substance of black fills the hole and turns the lock; letting the door creak open and letting the figure walk right in. Within does the figure behold the usual fittings of a mayoral office; books, chairs, desk, computer, bowl of mints, nothing out of the ordinary. And nothing to stop the intruder from venturing over to the desktop and taking a seat behind the screen. With the press of a button does the entire monitor let out an incredible bright light; Roy shielding his site from the intense glow as his eyes adjust to the glow, peeking between his fingers to behold his first obstacle. The password. Rather than blindly attempting to guess the password locking the desktop, the purple merc instead shoves his hand right into his pants pocket and pulls out what appears to be a lone thumb drive; plugging the drive right in and watching the password box fill with numerous letters and numbers until coming to the right code. As the desktop starts to load in, Roy is met with a site that honest to god just baffles him to no end. Is...is this seriously running on Windows 7? That’s 2010’s old. This a government owned desktop! Why the fuck haven’t they updated it yet for security!? Everytime on one of these government owned consoles, they always just have the most out dated Operating systems. One of the computers in the France federal agent building was running on Windows XP for shit sake!? Why!? It doesn’t make any god damn-...Gah! Whatever, not the problem here.

Getting over that strange conundrum, Roy takes the mouse and clicks right into the file explorer, where he starts his search right into the documents. See here...Billing info, Construction plans, Federal investigation, Homoerotic Fanfiction...Incident report. Clicking onto this folder is the purple merc astonished to discover the list of city incidents a literal mile long, the square of the scroll bar being absolutely tiny. Hmm...Dino monster attack, Fire monster attack, slime monster attack, Alien monster attack. Shit, alotta monster attacks here; practically makes up most of the list. Lets try sorting by date. Rearranging the reports by the date they had been documented, one title in particular catches the merc’s attention. “The lady of pink against the Cerberus. 1984” Interesting...Let’s have ourselves a peek here. Clicking right on this title, the document soon loads and present its very text through a writing application, starting his read on the incident beginning with:

“A terrible storm bellows from the east as horrible fires burn through Townsville, centers and businesses crumbling at the seems as a gigantic, dark three headed beast topples everything over in its rampage. Police and military efforts seemed ineffective as fired ammunition seemed to be devoured under the horrible cerberus’s tar like hide. Despite efforts to evacuate, few people escapes from the Chaos as dozens were left injured or burned; or a rather cruel mix of both. As hope for the city had waned to its worst, a female figure donning a heavenly pink glow had flown out from the roaring flames to face the terrible beast; her long blonde hair flowing in the wind. The best this report could describe the ensuing battle was of gods straight from tales of greek mythology; a recreation of the gods against the titans playing out before mortal eyes. With the godly woman of bright pink keeping the terrible beast of black at bay, officials were able to effectively evacuate civilians more effectively.

From what military that stayed behind described, the woman in pink had battled the vicious beast of dark with energy of bright light; her conjured weapons seemingly damaging the monster than any of our conventional weapons could only hope to do. Yet despite the warriors best efforts to defeat this great evil that had descended down upon the city, beast had ultimately worn down the woman midst hours of fighting; the horrible monster in the end devouring the woman in but a single gulp. All hope had seemed utterly crushed as the black demon had cackled upon its very victory; soon turning its burning eyes to the units that had stayed behind. All three of its heads bored a sinister smile as it crawled its way out towards the military unit; some of them fleeing from the seems on its approach while other’s stood their ground, knowing full well there was little they could do to escape from its wrath. Just as the three headed beast was on the verge of striking down the unit, the bowels of its stomach had began to glow a light of faint pink; a glow that quickly began to grow larger and brighter every passing second. In a matter of seconds did this very light explode in a flash of bright pink; blinding every single soldier that stood before the beast of darkness. Once the overwhelming glow had finally dimmed, the unit peered back to find the Cerberus that had terrorized the city was now but in pieces; all with no sign of the brave woman in bright pink light nowhere seen among the remains.

When the cleanup crew had arrived on the seen, most of the remains of the beast had been successfully picked up and stored away from researching purposes; those on the scene had described each piece of the monster as alive, pulsating and wriggling like worms plucked out from the soil. Other’s had witnessed some parts of the monster’s remains slipping away into the night and had attempted to contain every piece before they could escape; while most of the creatures remains had been successfully stowed away in containment, staff have admitted that few pieces had escaped into the unknown. What those pieces of the terrible beast had fled to or what they plan to do is as of yet unknown; something of which may never be realized, else that night may just be only the beginning.”

Its after having read every single paragraph of this report does Roy slump down into the office chair; processing every single detail that he had just read. “Can’t believe it…You gave up living alongside your family just so they could have a future.” Roy awe’s aloud.

“Indeed. And it was with that very sacrifice that I had been chosen to become a goddess.” Its in the midst of this realization that a small, uneasy chuckle starts to escape from him as he leans forward onto the mayor’s desk, Hera wondering in worry:

“Roy?...What’s wrong?” “What’s it worth becoming a god if it meant you couldn’t hold the people you love in your arms anymore; to not longer cherish their very presence as they take in yours? Why not just move on? Why not end it? Suppose those were your final moments inside that thing, weren’t they?” “Roy, when I was offered the position of a goddess. I was told it would involve ensuring the balance of the magical through the universe. Doing such, I could ensure those she left behind had a chance to live for themselves. It has not been easy since then...everyday, I wish to speak them once more, to hold my precious daughter and grandchildren in her arms.”

With all that he had discovered of the very beast that his new arm was once a part of, the violet angel gazes into the dark abyss held within the palm of his hand. “What do ya want done with it?”

“Pardon?” Hera questions. “Its thanks to the monster this arm came from that ya can’t go back to her family; to embrace the ones you loves in you hands. Just knowing that a piece of it is attached to the only person of this world you can converse with must piss you off to no end. Wanting to make sure what happened that night doesn’t befall anyone else.” “I assure to you Roy, that what happened to me that night was something I had decided for myself. I had chosen to give up my life so that others could live. But to make that choice for someone else...it something she could never bring myself to do. Whatever you decide, I’ll stand with you on it.” “No matter where it had came from, this damn thing had taken all the grief and anger that had wielded inside me and had given it a form; but only under my rage has it appeared and obeyed. With what Tore said he could do with life. I wonder if this is what I can do with what’s here?” “And is that what you wish out of it?” the goddess questions. Its in being asked this does the merc’s arm of pitch black clutch into a tight fist, the angel’s uncertain glare transforming into a determined grin. “That’s what it should be.”

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Thought that a little downtime would be appropriate here after the last chapter. Not a lot going on here beside a quick piece of lore and chemistry between characters. Though I purposely set this Chapter up as a repeat of the one where Roy was coping with the loss of his arm, thought it'd be thematically appropriate here.