#can’t get anymore doomer than that

[unounoo]

I’m so lonely.

[kimsmuse]

yandere coworker !!

i don't remember who i got the idea about this from but i just thought of someone who wasn't like too older to the reader yet in a powerful and manipulative position.

also i wrote this back in july lolol someone give me back my ability to write or else i'm doomer completely

this is very very rough but it’s hard to say if i’ll ever write this whole thing, but let’s talk about something.

no warnings except typical yandere content, mentions of drugging and manipulation. don't ask me the word count but this is just a short thing that just popped into my head at one point.

yandere coworker, who’s in love with as soon as you stepped in the office as a new recruit but love at first sight is cheesy, so he dismissed it as some casual admiration. but when his boss calls him to his office and asks him to teach you the ropes of the job, he’s internally screaming on how something like this is literally a sign from god himself.

and he talks to you, jokes around because he can see you’re nervous but there’s no need to be nervous, darling. (it’s all in fun and games that he’s calling you that, obviously) because you’re more than capable of doing it, it’s not a very hard job and even if you do mess up, there’s no reason to worry because he’s one of the seniors here, and he’s going to excuse it no matter how bad it is. (doesn’t tell you the whole part, just that he’d manage if you made a mistake. it’s okay, darling. everybody makes mistakes, even he did)

yandere coworker who is more than thrilled to find out you’re great at your job!!! (kinda disappointed tbh that he doesn’t get to coo over you making a mistake and then using it to get an upper hand 😔 but it’s okay there’s going to be plenty of opportunities he’s sure of it)

he takes you out to dinner for doing such a great job!! you’re truly one of the most efficient workers in the office and this, in just under a month! isn’t that wonderful? his darling is so intelligent! but as you talk to him over dinner, it opens a side of an informal relationship with your coworker, you both have inside jokes that you can remind each other of, even during the weekend and which gradually turns into hang outs with just the two of you and you insist on the fact that you both are “just friends” to your own friends, who obviously don’t buy it. but you feel guilty about it because your coworker has been nothing but nice and respectful and maintained his boundaries with you, he doesn’t even feel that way about you!

the turn of events come in the form of a new guy, an intern that you’re required to train and you’re more than happy to because it’s something that your coworkers didn’t get an opportunity on, even with their years of working with the company and you landed in about 6 months. ofcourse it’s your hard work but it’s also something our yandere coworker helped in, put in a good word about you. made sure you got the job and the increase in pay that came with it.

but god, oh god, how he wishes so bad that he’d thought it through as he walks around the office (instead of sitting in his comfy cabin. oh, the things jealousy makes you do) in the echoes of your laughter as the intern makes you laugh. what did he say that was so funny? and why weren’t you working? did you lose your professionalism for this guy? this guy who hadn’t even been here for a day? pathetic. he did not expect his darling to do that.

after about 3-4 days, he can’t physically take it anymore, he has to do something about it. now he knows he can’t say anything to the intern or else he’ll get scared or something. so he calls you in his cabin.

“all the other staff is complaining about your and the intern's disturbance, my dear, please keep it low. and maintain professionalism, okay?” you nod your head. he had never talked to you like this before and it took you a little back that the people you called friends had been backbitching about you? because you had been nothing but nice to everyone around. but you nodded, you thought you might have been stepping over the line. but what you didn’t know is that none of the coworkers had even noticed, they were doing their own job, so tangled up in their stress and why would they rat out one of their own?

you minimise contact with the intern as soon as he knows what to do and keep it to a subtle wave for a “hi,” and “goodnight,” he notices but he thinks that you were being nice to him in the initial days as a way of welcome and he’d heard so many horror stories about coworkers not being nice to each other that the fact that you weren’t at least bullying him made him thankful.

your office friends try and invite you to dinners and karaoke afterwards but you just can’t bring yourself to go because you were already so reserved and closed off but then you find that the people you actually trusted had been complaining about you made it difficult to pretend that it was all okay. because it had been just them for you as friends, since you spent majority of your time with them.

so nowadays it was just walking home early, ordering some food, watching something and then heading to sleep. which was perfectly alright for you, you didn’t need the hangovers that came with drinking on weekdays. and on the weekends.... it got hard but there was music, there were books to read, it kept you busy.

that’s when he texted you.

your yandere coworker was around your flat, could he come over.......? his formal and passive aggressive tone still repeated in your mind, but it wasn’t his fault. he had to do his job. so you gave him a green signal. “yes, sure,” and deep down you’d been craving company so much.

when while talking how he mentions how he doesn't have an instagram account yet, (and he needs one to stalk you btw) you just laughed and he made a joke on his age, it wasn't his fault he was not up with the trends. you offered to help him set it up and show him the ropes. and as you do that, set up a username, find some accounts of interest that he might like, he finds your adorable features all focused so cute!! and you're doing it for him so he gets up and decides to get you something to eat from the shop downstairs!!

but, um, this was really careless on the yanderes part because. how the fuck do you leave your phone w someone else? and when you have an entire album full of photos of that someone else which aren't even taken from the ones you've posted but its a photo of you from one of your work gatherings which you don't even remember this guy attending! and so many photos from the same angle after that, from his cabin to your cubicle...

being a boomer really sucks because this would not be a problem for me i know of a thing called a secure folder so !!! <3

but yes, back to it, when he rings the bell, you panic, you can't not open the door, right? and even if he had been clicking those pictures or whatever, he hadn't proved harmless yet. and what if its just a crush he's clicking pictures of. sometimes people did that. it was normal, wasn’t it?

the yandere might be delusional but you give him a run for his money if your job was having delusions !!!

but as soon as he goes home that night and looks at the tabs opened on his phone (he‘s not that much of a boomer that he won‘t know what recent tabs are) he's scared and when he connects the dots to your offputting but not so much that he would actually suspect it behaviour. it made sense. he sat down for a bit - beating up his table and running his hands through his hair, how could he have been so careless?

he realizes with a sigh that he needs to work quickly now, if he ever wants to have a chance with you. it's now or never. and yandere coworker is anything but someone who backs down from a challenge.

so what he's going to do is simple, he's going to invite you over, preferably in the next 2-3 days to try out this new recipe, and he's gonna knock you out then, (he's sorry it has to be that way) and as for the rest he's quite confident he can make you fall in love with him quite easily!

[punkymaysnark]

I'm finally playing Goodbye Volcano High.

Despite the love-hate relationship I have with it, it feels like an important game for me to play as a doomer who's starting to doubt I'm female at all. You know I legitimately care about experiencing something when I actively hold off on spoiling myself. I read the Warrior Cats wiki more than I do the actual books.

But this is the second time I've had explicit LGBTQ+ media in my possession. (unless you count Danganronpa and Dungeon Munchies) The first time was when I checked out this graphic novel called Magical Boy from the library. Mom found it. She forced me to return it. Then I got a scolding about not buying into transgender "mumbo-jumbo". Doesn't matter whether or not I'm actually questioning my identity or just trying to be more open minded, she won't even do with me picking up LGBTQ+ media out of curiosity.

So I feel pressure to get through GVH as quick as possible. If I play it for more than two hours, I can't refund it anymore. It's in my library for good and then I'll have to eternally worry about the possibility of my parents finding my Steam library. Chances are low, but never zero. Especially after the Facebook episode where my parents were immediately recommended my new account, then they forced me to friend them, so I can’t use Facebook at all now because Mom vets my posts and makes me delete the ones she doesn't like.

I have a very "this is very not allowed" feeling.

It's overwhelming. I feel that my best course of action is to just go for a refund while I have the chance, now that I've tasted the game and verified it'll run well on my laptop on the day when I'm no longer worried about what my parents will think.

Maybe I should've just asked someone on Reddit to gift it for me.

[bruhhhh-huhhhhh]

Greetings and salutations, hope I don’t bother you to much. If you don’t do matchups anymore PLEASE just completely ignore and delete this, please and thank you. May I please have a romantic matchup for dbd? And or a slasher? Whoever works tbh.

I use they/it pronouns and I’m pansexual. My Myers Briggs type is INFJ and Enneagram type is 4. My star sign is Taurus, moon sign is Gemini.

Im about 4’11..not to happy about it. I’m rather introverted, and can be considered not a people person. I find life a little nihilistic. I’m into dressing in all black and taking a liking to gruesome and morbid things like slashers, analog horror, death games, true crime documentaries, poetry, necromancy and anatomy. I typically consider myself a "Gorehound". I also like to visit abandoned hospitals and houses just for fun, along with playing quite a few escape rooms. I just have a genuine comfort in the uncomfortable.

I get a lot of monikers from friends and family like "discount vomitboyx", "doomer boy", and "Remake of Daria" before. I’ve come to the conclusion I just scare people off. In reality, I’m intimidated by everyone around me and find it hard to start conversing, which may or may not come off as rude to people.

When I finally become comfortable with someone I start to become really sarcastic and joke around with them with witty banter. Most of my humor comes off really insulting, but I’ll apologize and say it’s a joke if it becomes a problem. Even though I do have a hard time understanding physical social cues.

Lots of people don’t like me or stay away from me because of my rude behavior. I’m not good with overly sensitive or overly annoying people at all because of that, and I can’t stand kids. Idiocy can get on my nerves too sometimes. I’m a huge animal person though. I have my moments where I can get really feisty, or very quiet and closed off. I’ve been told I’m also a laidback person.

I’m the type of person that has lots of opinions on things but I keep them to myself and bottle them up. If pushed far enough I’ll become unforgiving, and aggressive. Especially with the types mentioned above.

I find the most comfort in just being in my room drawing, reading and or listening to music ( Motionless in White, Deftones, System of a Down, Slipknot, Rob Zombie,,, sometimes Will Wood, The Front Bottoms, Jazmin Bean or Mother Mother, etc. ), or even occasionally playing video games or reading and talking about Greek mythology or some random documentary I read. I also do acting in my spare time, which I find really fun. My interests tend to be very restricted, and I shut down easily getting into new things.

I’m a plushie maniac and when I fall asleep you can always see me cuddled up to one of them. I find it because I’m really touch starved. I’m guilty of being very submissive and maybe even masochistic- and a bit of a pyromaniac. I dissociate or daydream a lot, so you can often catch me starring.

I suffer from a handful off mental and physical syndromes like autism, GERD, arthritis, asthma, depression and anxiety. These have all been diagnosed professionally, and I’m definitely not trying to make myself "quirky". I have stims where I bite the inside of my cheek, pull my hair, crack or pop my bones, pick at scabs, fidget with my fingers or toy and bounce my leg. I even hiss or squeal when I’m upset. I’ve also been developing a eating disorder. You don’t need to rocmantasize this stuff ofc, but I think it’s good to know so the person can tolerate me.

you do get to this, thanks for your time.

No Problem! I decided to do a Dbd matchup, I hope that's okay! If you want a different one, just message me and I'll re-do it!

I match you with...

Frank from The Legion!

This man loves that you're shorter than him. It makes him feel in powerful and he like that he can lean down to kiss you

If you two met in the real world, the reason he noticed you is because Julie probably brought you up wanting to bully you. He thinks on it for a bit and decides not to after watching you for a bit. You two talk more, and then start dating after a while

If you met in the entity's relm, however, he noticed you because he always sees you by yourself and never with anyone else during trails. He even went to the edge of the camp one time to see if it was just a trail thing, but no, you were alone there too with only a few people you talked too occasionally.

Needless to say, you interested him. He takes the time to not kill you and actually go as far as to talk to you and let you escape.

The two of you have similar music tastes, so he'll let you borrow his stuff from time to time.

You two bounce sarcasm off each other often, and you both love it. His favorite thing to hear after a successful trial is your sarcasm

He also hates kids and annoying people, so the two of you can complain to each other about that. If someone is being especially annoying to you and you complain about it to him, he will ask you if you want him to kill them. If you say yes, bam, they're dead. If you say no, he won't unless they annoy him. Then he'll do it anyways.

If he sees you stimming in a way that might hurt you, he'll gently guide your hands away from that area

If you hiss at him, he might hiss back. Just saying.

Will hang out with you when you're doing your hobbies. Might even try some of them out. If you start talking about Greek mythology, he'll put everything down just to listen to you

He loves talking to you about gruesome things. He’ll take pictures of his “work” and show them to you just to see how you’ll react if he’s told you about the legion. 

If the two of you are in the real world, he’ll take you on dates to escape rooms. 

[absolutepx]

So I've been playing Death Stranding lately. Wait, that's not what this post is about. Well, it kind of is. Hang on. What is Death Stranding about?

A: Norman Reedus getting bare ass naked B. Sneaking around ghosts with the help of your sidekick, an actual baby C: Carrying 50 Amazon packages up a hill while trying to not topple over D: Waking up in the morning and drinking 5 Monster Energy™ for breakfast

For those following along at home, the answer is actually none of the above. Despite the set dressing being bizarre to the point of near absurdity, what the game is actually about, like thematically, is actually really simple.

See, the development of Death Stranding was actually quite a trip. Hideo Kojima is the video game world's equivalent of an auteur director. He has a very recognizable personal style. It's thoroughly horny – he caught a bunch of shit for the design of Quiet in MGSV, but like, a lot of Kojima characters are just -like that-, including the dudes. Also, this is going to possibly be important later.

Anyway, so Kojima was going to do a rebootmakequel of Silent Hill, and the demo actually made it to the PS store and I could actually write a whole side essay about why P.T. (it was called P.T. for some reason btw) was brilliant game design for how it used the same hallway over and over and it was somehow beneficial to the overall feeling of horror. So Konami it turns out kinda sucks nowadays and they like, fired Kojima (they were huge dicks about it behind closed doors, too) and scrapped the project and kicked him out on the street and kept the Metal Gear series which was his baby (literally the baby in the sink in P.T., he snuck a bunch of messaging about the Konami situation into the demo like a breakup album) and Kojima would go on to form his own studio and poach some of the people who worked with him to boot. So the thing about Kojima is this: he's got a reputation for already putting some wild shit in his games, like a ladder that takes like 10 real time minutes to climb in MGS3 for dramatic effect, and a boss in MGS3 that summons the ghosts of all the people you were too lazy to stealth past and killed, or a sniper battle with a really old guy that he wanted to have last two weeks or some shit until he died of old age but he was "told that "this was impossible and not recommended." That is a real quote I just looked up. So he's coming off the heels of making this hugely successful game with MGSV and the hype of the P.T. Demo and he fucking, he like took all the people that were going to be working on P.T. Along like Guillermo Del Toro was going to co-write it and Norman Reedus was going to star in it, and he's like, I'm going to make this game called Death Stranding. And the first trailer comes out for it and it's completely nuts. Norman Reedus wakes up naked on a beach crying with a baby and there are floating people in the sky? So we're all like hooooooly shit, there's no one to tell him "this is impossible and not recommended" anymore. What's he going to make now!?

So the whole time the game is in development I keep seeing these tweets where it'll be like, Kojima and one of his homies smiling with some saccharine message about being spiritual warriors and changing the world. And not just Del Toro and Reedus, there was Mads Mikkelsen (another guy Kojima puts in the game just because he apparently loves him), and the band Chvches, and also like, Keanu Reeves at one point? You know how everyone has just kind of accepted that Keanu is a being of light? Here he was endorsing Kojima. The hype was pretty confused and frantic.

The game eventually comes out. A lot of game journos hate it because I think there was this expectation it was going to be, you know, less weird and have more of the conventional structure of a video game. That's not to say the average gamer wasn't also dismissive of it, but I think on the ground level there was more of an understanding that like, yeah, Kojima just be like that sometimes.

Because the game was a timed console exclusive and your homie don't play like that, I spent the first year or so cautiously viewing Death Stranding from a distance. I wasn't sure I was going to like it – except for being really impressed with P.T., I wasn't actually a big fan of Kojima's games as games – but I -was- sure that I was going to buy it, because of the way Konami fucked him over, just out of support. And the shit I was hearing was really out there. The primary mode of gameplay is just delivery packages. You collect Norman Reedus' bathwater and pee and use it as grenades. You get a motorcycle that looks like the one from AMC's The Ride with Norman Reedus, and when you sit on it, his character in the game says "Wow, this thing is like the one from AMC's The Ride with Norman Reedus!"

But I didn't really want to know that much about it. Something has that much fucking crazy person energy, you want to go in mostly blind, right? So maybe people just weren't talking about this, or maybe I wasn't seeing it, but then I watched Girlfriend Reviews' video about it and they came right out and said it (link provided if you want to hear Shelby say it more articulately than me):

Death Stranding is basically about the exact opposite of Twitter. It's about remembering how to be kind to each other, how to reconnect in a world where people are so often hostile to each other by default. Prophetically, it's about a world where people are afraid to go outside or touch other people and how damaging that is. It's not a game about carrying packages, it's a game about helping people by being brave enough to walk through a wasteland carrying their burdens because they can't. It's about rebuilding the lost connections between people, about restoring roads and giving people hope. I bet, for Kojima and the people close to him, it's about how to answer hostility with compassion. You can't kill people in Death Stranding. You can and are absolutely encouraged to fucking throw hands with people sometimes, but all the tools and weapons are nonlethal. So I think Kojima took all the Twitter heat he got over the Quiet nontroversy, and all the feelings of isolation he had from Konami separating him from his team during the end of the development of MGSV, and all the support and encouragement he got from his bros Del Toro and Mads and the rest, and decided to channel that into making a game that was a statement about all of it. And sure, it's a little heavy handed, and sure, it's a little saccharine, and sure, the gameplay sometimes borders on miserable in service of creating emotional payoffs. For me, especially in 2020, this message is a huge success. Social media should be an opportunity for all of us to feel more connected to each other, yet primarily it feels like one of the main forces driving people apart. Why is that? Why is the internet of today such a hostile place? I'm old enough to remember web 1.0: I can haz cheezburger memes; YTMND; the early wild west days of Youtube... What happened to us? I've thrown the blame at Twitter in the past, and I think the architecture of the user experience on Twitter is absolutely a big piece of the puzzle, because it fosters negative interactions. But in terms of the behavior, people have observed that 2018 Twitter was actually almost exactly like 2014 Tumblr. (For the record, Tumblr is now one of the chillest places left on the internet, because so few fucks are left to give.)

I think part of it is the anonymity. The dehumanizing disconnection of the separation of screens and miles. Louis CK, before he was cancelled, had a great point about cyberbullying, and why it's so much more savage than kids are IRL. When you pick on someone in person and you are confronted with seeing the pain you caused them, for most sane people it causes negative feedback and you become disgusted with your actions and eventually learn to stop being a shithead. Online, at best you can "break the wrist, walk away".

At worst, you can become addicted to "clout chasing" and the psychological thrill of being cheered on by your social ingroup. It's even worse if you feel like it's not bullying and your actions are justified because whoever you've targeted is a bad person so you don't have to feel bad about what you do to them. This is where reductive, unhelpful catchphrases like "punch a nazi" come in. For every argument, one or both sides have convinced themselves that the other side is subhuman because their beliefs are so disgusting. And sometimes it's even true! A lot of times, especially these days, people really are acting like animals or worse online. Entire disinformation engines are roaring day and night, churning out garbage and cluttering the social consciousness. (Kojima talked about this bit, too, way back in MGS2. As if I wasn't already in danger of losing my thread through this.)

The human brain was not built to live like this. You can't wake up every morning, roll over and open your phone, and be immediately faced with a tidal wave of anger and indignity. It wasn't built to be aware of fully how horrible the world is at any moment ALL AT ONCE, ALL THE TIME. And you will be. Because of another way that our brain works – the way we are more likely to share negative opinions. And because of the cottage industry built on farming outrage clicks, and because of constant performative activism.

It's not that I don't agree that being informed is important.

It's not that I don't agree that the causes people get riled up about are important.

They are. They absolutely are.

But we can't keep living like this. The constant, unending flood of tragedy, arguments, and hot takes. How much of the negativity we associate with online culture is the product of this feedback loop? What if the rise of doomer culture has been, if not entirely created by, has been nourished and exacerbated by our hostile attitudes toward each other?  Incels and TERFs, white supremacists, radfems, tankies and Trumpers – it seems like on every side of every issue, there are people simultaneously getting it wrong in multiple directions at once and there are more being radicalized every day. They are the toxic waste left behind by the state of discourse. And any hill is a hill worth dying on.

So what am I actually advocating? I don't know. There are a lot of fights going on right now that are important and we can't just climb into bunkers and ignore our problems hoping that Norman Reedus and his fine ass are going to leave the shit we need on our doorsteps. We need to find the strength to carry those hypothetical packages for ourselves sometimes - and hopefully, for others as well. Humans are social creatures. We need interaction and enrichment.

We need love.

So just try to remember the connections between humanity. Try to put more good stuff into the world when you can. Share more shitposts and memes. Tell your friends and family that you love them. Share good news when you hear it. Go on a weird fucking tangent about Death Stranding. Find a way to "be excellent to each other, and party on, dudes."

[doomedandstoned]

Gangrened Conjure Dizzying Atmosphere in ‘Deadly Algorithm’

~Review by Billy Goate~

Before us lies an enigma called 'Deadly Algorithm' (2021) by Finnish band GANGRENED, whom we've introduced you to before, when they dropped that wonderfully dreary doomer 'We Are Nothing' (2014). Let me share with you the diary of my thoughts as I immersed myself in their recently released full-length.

Deadly Algorithm by Gangrened

Deadly Algorithm starts with gentle, quiet picking that echoes faintly, but already surrounds us with a strange, if inviting, airspace. A melodic line develops as "Harrbåda" gains volume, building it seems towards a crescendo -- then suddenly stopping as a drumroll interrupts. The atmosphere returns to quirks and quarks, increasingly distorted notes, spikes of reverberating rhythm. All the while, the same short impermanent melodic motif makes its statement, until it flitters away into the void.

Deadly Algorithm by Gangrened

"Triptaani" makes a strong entrance, this time with galled vocal attack and a slow, but strong, guitar lead girded by the fuzz-sparked gears of bass and drum languidly moving this machine along. A hail of shredding follows, with cymbals crashing to a throbbing beat, leading to one ardent chord laid upon another. Eventually the pace slows to a crawl, with dissonant harmonies, and a wild solo from Jon Imbernon that's almost overcome by the industrial crunch of Lassi Männikkö's dumming, Joakim Udd's vile spew of noise, Mikko Mannistö's declamatory singing.

Deadly Algorithm by Gangrened

"Hologrammi" features more familiar doom pacing with a searing riffage, a slow burn flow of bass and drums, and clean (but pissed off) crooning. It's surrounded by a mesmerizing jumble of pedal effects, noise, downtuned instrumental buzz, and crackling amps -- of which make its climactic moment of vocal delivery emphatic and powerful.

Deadly Algorithm by Gangrened

Intricate guitar trilling action introduces “Kuningatar” and it sounds almost like temelos dancing upon its appointed harmonic scale in those opening moments. By the time the rest of the crew sounds off, it turns into a frightening ensemble, indeed. I imagine this would be quite chilling to experience in a live setting. While the vocals feel swallowed up in the great reverberating wall of sound, it seems to add to the mystique of the whole dim sound environment. Psychedelic noodling returns six minutes and if you listen carefully you can hear a seething malediction pronounced sternly beneath the fray of scattered noise, synth, and pedal effects. Great doom returns to ground us to reality and the band improvises a swirl of activity that makes me think of the wandering spirits released from the Ark of the Covenant in Raiders of the Lost Ark.

Deadly Algorithm by Gangrened

”Triangeli” grabs hold of us with a rumbling bass line that establishes the song’s basic theme, soon to be reinforced by guitar. Meanwhile, words are spoken with accented cymbals and hypnotic drumming. The song ends with whispered lyrics uttered over a soundgarden of riffage, soft cymbals, omnipotent bass rumble, and the cycling sounds of amp feedback. I don't know the words, and the singer refuses to share them, so that means what he's singing is left up to your fertile imagination. Or you can just enjoy the vocal aesthetic and what it contributes to this dense, dark atmosphere.

A cathartic journey, indeed, which I ventured on while I was in an especially discouraged and pissed off mood. Even though I understood not its words, I felt its sentiment and it was in some way cleansing. Available digitally, on vinyl and compact disc as an independent release (order here).

Interviewing Gangrened Guitarist Jon Imbernon

By Billy Goate

You've been a band for quite a while. I understand you are one of the founding members, too. How did Gangrened form to begin with?

Well, we were a bunch of guys living in the same area around ostrobotnia, between kokkola and new karleby, here in the center west coast of finland. so few of us had the idea to do the band so we asked the others, but none of those guys except me are still in the band. high level of mobility because studies in this area of small towns, to bigger cities of Finland.

It sounds like there are challenges keeping a band together in Ostrobotnia? I imagine it makes it ver5y challenging to get new band members to replace the old. Is there much of a music scene to speak of?

Yeah, actually I'm not from here myself. I'm Basque/Spanish and in the specific area I live, like around 110 kilometers or so, there's no real bands or scene, but if you go forward you reach Oulu in the north or Seinajoki, bigger cities with more bands and such. And yes, from the exact spot I live now, I have needed to look more than 100 kms to find new members. I'm moving in a near future to Tampere, so that should help in strengthening the line-up.

So how long has the most recent crew of Gangrened been together?

Since May of 2015, just after some dates we played with Bongzilla in Finland, the entire line-up shifted.

Gangrened basically means "gangrene" right?

It's like "corrupted," you know? Yes, the name comes from the illness.

My grandfather's big toe got infected from a cut because he didn't treat it properly. When he finally went to a doctor, they told him he would have to amputate his foot to live. He refused, stating he wanted to die with both of his feet on. So he officially died of gangrene!

Ouch! Okay...

Did you pick Gangrened for any special reason, like the corruption of society or something like that?

Yeah, that kind of reason. I wanted some grimmy name, but actually now it's getting a bit inappropriate, as we are not so typically doom sludge anymore.

How would you describe/characterize your sound now?

Well, I would say it is deep and varied. Actually, I think this record is like transitional, just because, for example, one song "Hologrammi" is an old song we included. But newer stuff goes beyond what has been previously recorded, take songs like "Triangeli" or "Kuningatar."

Deadly Algorithm by Gangrened

We reviewed 'We Are Nothing' back in 2014, and at the time we described your sound in terms of: "Slow, behemoth sized riffs. Excessive feedback. Fuzz worship." What would you say has changed or is different now, as your sound, style, and general musical approach has evolved?

Well, at some point, just as an exercise of abstraction to what we were doing, how it was turning out with songs like "Triangeli" or "Kuningatar" I decided to look into my whole musical background, and keep on adding elements from it. Also I got bored of the regular sludge-doom thing. So I considered it more interesting, and more comfortable to me, to keep an essence of slow and heavy music, and atmospheric at times, but not so defined inside the regular sludge-doom thing. The atmosphere feels very trippy, even psychedelic at times.

Let's talk about the new album. Why is it called 'Deadly Algorithm'? I think about 10 years ago, I never used the word "algorithm," but now it's a common word that most people at least understand in concept.

Well, I'm studying now in the university again, engineering in information technology, and at same time i'm a person a lot with strong progressive values, so through my studies and also digging on related topics like online privacy or the evolution and development of the new technologies I found alarming how the new technologies are going and its implications.

There are several key things that many people do not think about: smart phones have like six sensors on average to spot your location, plus no company gives services for free. If so, it's because the product is the user of the service. There's no other reason for that. So beginning with these facts, there are a lot of things going on that everyone should be aware of, and the album theme is all about that. Nowadays, data algorithms are making more and more decisions in our lives that no more take into account true needs as humans.

It seems like we have created our own virtual prison, without even realizing it.

Yes, but the thing is who runs the prison? not ourselves at all.

Getting into the songs themselves, are they all sung in Finnish?

Yes. At first some were in english but then the singer decided to sing all songs in Finnish.

Starting with the first song, can you tell us what each title means and what themes you explore?

The first song ("Harrbåda") is simply the name of a coastal area around here. The second ("Triptaani") is a medicine for headaches. The third song ("Hologrammi") is named obviously after a hologram. The fourth ("Kuningatar") means "Queen" and the last ("Triangeli") is "triangle."

Is there any conceptual, thematic, or spiritual relationship between these tracks?

It's quite a personal thing to the singer, he wrote the lyrics and I can't exactly tell you their meaning because Mikko Mannistö is a bit secretive about it. But personal things, yes. Personal matters to him.

Tell us a little bit about the recording process. Where did you record, with whom, and are there any memories that stand out from that time?

Well, we started recording the record in june 2018, with a friend of the singer, at some big rooms in a youth center house. We did most of the recordings with him until February of 2019. At that time, we asked a few people to mix, master, and finish the process. but nothing worked and there was some time wasted waiting for answers.

I decided moving forward we would go with someone who is recording records all the time and known by us, so we asked Tom Brooke, an English guy who lives close to Jyväskylä, runs a studio, and is the live sound technician for Oranssi Pazuzu. So we finished the record, a few more guitar tracks, mixing, and mastering with him.

I remember there was a long time between sessions, so new ideas were constantly coming to us to add to the songs for the next session. That’s why some guitar tracks were added for mixing just the day before starting to mix.

I'm sure you were relieved once all the recording, mixing, and mastering was finally done!

Yeah ! like this is the record and now its totally defined and wrapped up. As a guitarist, what can you tell us about the guitar writing on the new album? Anything that you are especially proud of or that you think the listener should pay special attention to?

The intro is all played by me, and then the weirdest stuff, noisy guitar here and there, and the first half of riffs of triptaani , i'm quite proud of the first two or three riffs, and I used to be proud about some riffs in the middle of "hologrammi." The noisiest and more psyched out guitars of kuningatar.

Tell us about what you, as a guitarist, used in the studio while recording 'Deadly Algorithm'

Well, so I used three guitars to record the album: one Gibson SG Standard from the late '90s, another SG Standard from 1980, and a Gibson Les Paul Classic from around 1991. The SG from the late '90s was ultra-modded -- I changed the finish, pickups, electronics, tuners, but in the end sold it and now it's owned by David from Slomatics. The 1980 I just bought for the recording, so it was all stock. Later, I changed the pickups. The Gibson Les Paul also had all replaced tuners, circuit pickups, and so. It's my main guitar and I used it in most of the songs. The SGs I just used for "Triangeli," the last song.

About effects, I use a Big Muff Fuzz mainly, but also a custom Dunwich Amps FuzzThrone for the ultra heavy parts, like at the end of "Kuningatar." Other effects I used were the Dunlop Echoplex pedal and the Strymon Capistan. I love tape echo sounds and these pedals emulate it. Also, another effect I really like and couldn't live without is the Earthquaker Devices Transmisser. I used it in three of the songs.

Amps used included an '80s Laney AOR Pro Tube and Orange OR120 from 1975 and a late '70s Matamp GT120. Every rhythm guitar track was recorded with two of them at same time, mainly the Matamp and the Laney. That probably is the main sound of the album, but I think "Hologrami" I recorded with the Orange and the Matamp. About cabs, I used two Orange cabs -- one with Eminence speakers the other with WGS speakers.

Have you had a chance to play live at all since the pandemic?

Nope, we haven't been rehearsing either.

If you had your choice to tour with any five bands and play in any five places, what would they be and why?

We are keeping it for when there's no risk of cancellations, we have some date plans and so on, but it sucks to cancel things so we are just waiting. I would play with Unsane in New York for example then some bands I have liked recently, even if some are inactive at this moment. Belzebong, Nightslug, Domkraft, Follakzoid, and the body also.

That would be a sick line-up!

What parts of the world would you like to travel to?

Well, I've never been to America or Asia. I have been to Europe, the UK, and Russia only.

Okay, yeah it would be cool to have you come over here and play for us sometime.

Yeah, would be nice

Lastly, did you all wear your heart on the opposite sides of your head for this photo to give the illusion that your heads are on backwards? Or was it digitally manipulated to make it look like your heads were on the wrong way? I love the concept!

I made that pic myself. I took two photographs, one of us in front and another in the backs. So then I took the heads of the back picture and put on our front bodies pic, with Photoshop. David lynch-ish vibes!

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[soulvomit]

I’m running into issues with younger people and people my own age, unless they lived through significant material hardship (and I don’t mean their feelings getting hurt - I mean actual survival.) And it couples with aging parents (his mom is disabled and my mom’s slowly going blind) and climate change.

Behind “Read More” because this is probably triggering or anxiety inducing and there’s a lot of doomer shit in it.

I feel like this awareness has left a gulf opening up between me and a majority of my same-age friends. The friends I’ve started to really pull closer are the older ones. Part of it is that I’m afraid of losing them, but another is this... I really need adultier adults in my life and my other friends aren’t that. I need to spend as much time as I can learning what my older friends have to teach while they’re still able to teach it, or... I don’t know. I will probably fucking die and so will my loved ones, because most of the people I know my age - unless they grew up poor and or they are extremely, unusually resourceful people - can’t survive without their money and privilege and they can’t think their way out of a paper bag.

When I was a child and teenager, things I’d seen and lived through made it difficult for me to relate to middle class people my own age. People would get offended or act like I was bursting their optimistic joy bubble if I talked about The Real World.

I’m feeling the same thing right now. 99% of what I think about now is survival. I’m not Fun anymore.

There are certain responsibilities that I know I will have and now that I am middle aged and so many people around me are actual elders (with fuckoff offspring who think they aren’t responsible for anything), the time of dreaming and wonder and the perpetual summer of reinvention is OVER.  

For example: I KNOW that I will end up the one who’s responsible for the majority of the elder care of several elders and it’s because I don’t hate these people and because I owe them a great deal (and in some cases, my life) and it’s because I’m the only one who can.

AND I will still have to work AND that work won’t actually be enough to make up for this AND nobody will consider the stuff I’m doing to look after the rest of us (I’m the only one in my group with any domestic, care, or practical skills) to actually be meaningful or worthwhile.

I know that my life being centered around myself, is fucking over now that I’m in middle age. I know this because I was a caregiver and because I’ve known so many people who have said, “it won’t happen to me.”

But if you’re poorish and your parents are alive, IT WILL PROBABLY HAPPEN TO YOU. If you’re a woman, double that.

I feel different things about womanhood and feminism than I felt in my 20s, because almost none of the addressed concerns these days really deal with people who aren’t privileged and middle class. Now it’s 100% about materially based concerns, devaluation of the domestic sphere that I’m going to be forced to inhabit whether I planned to or not simply because so many of our parents are not rich enough to afford home care or to move to a senior community. I’m the one who is going to end up doing this whether I want to or not.  When I talk to younger people, they don’t believe me and they say “you don’t have to take care of anyone you don’t want to take care of.” Maybe it’s youth but maybe it’s also privilege, because a person could reasonably say that whose parents are upper middle class/have good pensions/aren’t at risk of losing their homes because of being aged out of their jobs.

I really don’t give a fuck about what characters on TV are empowering anymore. I’m just not there anymore, and the fixation on this makes me want to put my fist through a wall sometimes tbh.

My fiance’s social world revolves around geek culture here, and the thing is, that’s not even clicking with me anymore. I’ve sat out so much. I just can’t think about my game characters when I’m worried nothing is going to grow and we’re all going to starve next year.

Many of my Gen X women friends who are now seen as “problematic” because they’re not up on every single piece of media or every stupid middle school maturity level controversy? They’re going through this right now, too, to some extent because their politics have shifted to being about *real things.* But none of them are at where I’m at, they’re all in better spaces and their parents managed to pay off their house, and their parents all have a better situation than either my impoverished parents or my fiance’s parents have. Their parents don’t actually need and rely on them. (The irony is, the one of my parents that’s Native is the one I’m the LEAST worried about, because he and his wife have a really good support system through the tribe. The rest of us should have this. My dad has younger people he teaches and who look up to and help him, and a community that values him, none of the rest of them fucking do. I fucking hate it all. Seniors don’t need “senior communities,” they need to be part of THE community! Fuck’s sake!)

I desperately want to move away. I’m convinced I’ll die here. But I can’t, because I have responsibilities, so hi, I guess I’m just going to die here and I guess we won’t get out of here before California becomes the Ash Bowl and we’re dealing with a mass exodus.

[things2mustdo]

The Ascent Of Money by Niall Ferguson is an introduction to modern finance and the rise of money lending, presenting a favorable view of their effects upon the world.

…financial innovation has been an indispensable factor in man’s advance from wretched subsistence to the giddy heights of material prosperity that so many people know today.

…poverty is not the result of rapacious financiers exploiting the poor. It has much more to do with the lack of financial institutions, with the absence of banks, not their presence. Only when borrowers have access to efficient credit networks can they escape from the clutches of loan sharks, and only when savers can deposit their money in reliable banks can it be channeled from the idle rich to the industrious poor.

…approximately $1 of every $14 paid to employees in the United States now goes to people working in finance. Finance is even more important in Britain, where it accounted for 9.4% of GDP in 2006.

The book gives an interesting history of some of the world’s most famous bankers and the power they accumulated, particularly the Medicis and Rothchilds, who brought value by facilitating trade and commerce while reducing transaction prices. It also described the role of European bankers during the American Civil War.

Though others had tried before them, the Medici were the first bankers to make the transition from financial success to hereditary status and power  They achieved this by learning a crucial lesson: in finance small is seldom beautiful. By making their bank bigger and more diversified than any previous financial institution, they found a way of spreading their risk.

One of the biggest financial innovations was fractional reserve banking, pioneered by the Swedes. Other European countries improved finance while the Spaniards, still obsessed with silver and gold in their American colonies, kept defaulting time and time again, not understanding that the true nature of money lay in debt and not mineral reserves. One of the more interesting parts of the book was its description of the bond market and its powerful stranglehold on world governments.

…the bond market is powerful partly because it passes a daily judgement on the credibility of every government’s fiscal and monetary policies. But its real power lies in its ability to punish a government with higher borrowing costs. Even an upward move of half a percentage point can hurt a government that is running a deficit, adding higher debt service to its already high expenditures.

…countries that defaulted on their debts risk economic sanctions, the imposition of foreign control over their finances and even, in at least five cases, military intervention.

While the book paints a rosy view of finance, it also highlights cases where the abuse of it through hook and crook caused problems for entire economies, particularly through price inflation. A recent example of that was Goldman Sachs’ commodity manipulation that caused the price of common foodstuffs to rise. On the other hand, ignoring finance and having inflexible monetary policy can turn recessions into depressions. He suggests that Helicopter Ben Bernanke actually did the right thing in showering Wall Street with money to prevent a depression. He also thinks Alan Greenspan is a great man for admitting he shouldn’t have kept interest rates so low.

Economies that combined all these institutional innovations—banks, bond markets, stock markets, insurance and property-owning democracy—performed better over the long run than those that did not, because financial intermediation generally permits a more efficient allocation of resources then, say, feudalism or central planning. For this reason, it is not wholly surprising that the Western financial model tended to spread around the world, first in the guise of imperialism, and then in the guise of globalization.

You’ll also read about:

The abysmal effects of Britain’s weflare system on their economy

Argentina’s failed destiny to become an economic superpower due to bad economic decisions and poor leadership

How the “risk free” LTCM fund imploded and almost took the world economy with it

My problem with the book is that his explanations were too light. He glossed over tough concepts like sovereign bonds and other financial instruments without providing much in the way of examples, unlike a writer such as Matt Taibbi who explains the most complex concept in a way that laymen can understand. I felt like I had to read this book in front of Google so that I could look up things he mentioned only in passing.

The book also seemed hurried with its historical research, especially towards the end when it become a jumbled mess. Overall it’s an okay book but I don’t recommend it for the neophyte.

…it’s not owning property that gives you security; it just gives your creditors security. Real security comes from having a steady income.

Read More: “The Ascent Of Money” on Amazon

https://www.returnofkings.com/10595/there-is-no-hedge-against-inflation

You’ve seen him: an older man sitting next to a roaring fire or maybe  walking the grounds of his ranch or he might be  in a suit facing the camera. The messages are all the same: something about  “troubling times” and “safety and security” —maybe they mention the  federal reserve or money printing. Times are bad and could get worse, but  they can help you. They have the answer. What is this company selling? GOLD.

Why would you want a gold coin or bar? It doesn’t earn interest and it  doesn’t grow or produce anything. It is vulnerable to theft. The price can  move down with astonishing speed as we saw last April (as of the time of this writing it has retraced over 50% of that selloff). But could it go up in value, could it “skyrocket” as the gold shills say?

Keep in mind that gold has already gone up a lot recently, about  fivefold  in the past ten years. And to simply say that gold is a hedge against inflation is misleading. If you compare the price today, let’s say $1500 per oz, to the average price in 1974, about $150/oz, it actually exceeded  inflation. Using CPI over this period gold’s value increased at about double  the rate of inflation. However, if you bought gold in 1980, average price that year about $600/oz, you’d have to wait until 2006 for the price to come back to that level and not inflation adjusted dollars either (inflation destroyed about 65% of the purchasing power in that timeframe – and this is using CPI which notoriously understates real world prices). Gold prices and inflation are not as closely correlated as the gold sellers would have  you think.

But what about “these troubling times”? It’s different now, right? It might be. This is basically what they’re talking about: the federal government and the federal reserve have been acting in tandem to recapitalize the U.S. economy after the 2008 crisis. The government has been spending like crazy and running huge deficits (and buying lots of votes, funny how that  works out for them). These deficits are financed by the issuing of bonds of which the federal reserve bank has been the main buyer under the guise of  Quantitative Easing  and the Zero Interest Rate Policy. This what they mean by printing money –  the fed can buy whatever it wants and it has been buying these bonds that are loans to the government.

The Fed doesn’t need money, rather, it creates it. It is the central bank and it can just put the bonds on its balance sheet. A lot of people, this author  included, think the government and the Fed are nuts to think that this course would enable economic growth and it will probably only lead to  inflation which could become severe and maybe uncontrollable. Without turning this into a financial doomer article, let’s just say both sides make their case and we won’t know which one is right until this QE and ZIRP experiment is over.

This is what it comes down to: if the price of gold in dollars goes exponential in a hyperinflationary situation everything else  priced in dollars is going to do the same. You can’t expect that your gold coin will buy the same goods that it would buy now if this happens. The actual purchasing power of your gold will surely decline as day-to-day essentials  become prioritized. Put another way, if 1500 this week buys you one gold coin or 250 basic meals, in a hyperinflationary situation that gold coin might exchange for the equivalent of 100 meals or maybe not even twenty. Of course, 1500 in a bank account or your mattress would be worth much less – maybe not even one meal. The possible hyperinflation scenario is the most compelling reason to hold gold now. It’s not about getting rich. It’s about retaining some savings in the face of a massive financial collapse.

In reality, nothing keeps up with inflation like you will want. Agriculture futures are seasonal and your position has to be rolled over every so often costing you fees and changing your cost basis. Your  inflation hedge could get destroyed by a good harvest or weak global demand.  Stocks are typically seen as an inflation hedge but in a real collapse your brokerage company or even your local bank might not even exist anymore. You may eventually be made whole on the companies you own but this will take years.

Outside of a financial crisis the case for gold is weak. If you’re holding gold the best case scenario is unclear. Perhaps the price rises faster than inflation but that’s probably a longshot. Consider that if  interest rates start to rise, if the Fed sees the light on the harm ZIRP is doing, and if inflation is mild then those holding gold are going to be screwed as many decide to sell, preferring actual cash. Expect gold to lose at least 30% from today’s prices and it could happen in a day or two. Don’t  expect your dealer to give you a good price or even answer your call or email if everyone comes in selling.

The risk of gold losing value in the face of an improving economy is something you need to be aware of and in a crisis it won’t provide the kind  of financial safety that the gold bugs allege. If you still need a place to park your savings you might consider silver. It’s incrementally cheaper to get into and has more industrial value than gold though it is historically more volatile. Or what about booze? A case of good whiskey or rum is highly barterable, doesn’t spoil, tracks inflation as well as anything, and if times get better (or worse), you can always drink it.

[thereddeath2093-blog]

2020A_CW-210 personal blog post

DOOM

By Steven Bunch

                 I spend a lot of time thinking about doom. It’s a rather abstract concept to preoccupy oneself with, but still I find myself living a “doomed” life. I listen to doom metal, I watch movies and TV shows full of doomed people on doomed worlds, I fantasize about the doom of the planet and my own personal doom. It even gets so much more specific to the point of absurdity; my favorite rapper is MF DOOM, my favorite super villain is Dr. Doom, I even play DOOM the video game.

               Half of my time spent thinking about doom, is trying to understand what the word itself really means. What is doom? What does it mean to be doomed? This as you can imagine inspires all sorts of philosophical questions about life and death, fate and inevitability, as well as many others. For all my pondering, I can’t really come up with a solid answer or something definitive. Sure, I could go with a typical dictionary definition of the idea, but it is more than that to me. It encompasses too much to be summarized and completed in a single or simple string of sentences. It’s an aesthetic, an ideology, and a state of being to me, something transcendental unto itself.

               The aesthetics of Doom are easily recognized but much like the idea itself, abstract and difficult to definitively explain. There are rather obvious tropes and visual elements that appear in art and media that are representative of what I’m talking about; ruined buildings, smoke filled skies, destroyed cities, dead bodies, anything apocalyptic really. However, the idea is much deeper than that. A piece of art, or anything visual, that can inspire feelings of dread, despair, or hopelessness exemplify this aesthetic in its purest forms. This has a place in the greater sense of the word and the idea of Doom itself.

               The ideology of Doom, unlike a lot of ideologies, is not one that is readily “chosen” in the same way one might choose to be a democrat or one would take up the cause of conservation. This is a kind of mentality that people usually fall into, and more so often than they might realize. Unlike the aforementioned aesthetics, the ideology is easily explained and familiar to most people. While chiefly the mentality is signified by feelings of doom or feeling doomed, it is a little more complicated than that. A true ideology of doom comes when this mentality is reflected out into the world as a whole rather than the individual. More than a simple feeling of personal helplessness, an ideology of doom encompasses the whole of humanity, to see the entire human race as doomed. As you can imagine, this is not a particularly hot-take, especially these days. That being said, embracing this fact would be the key difference between someone who is merely cynical and someone who is waiting with baited breathe for the apocalypse. Which is essentially what I’m talking about.

               People would scarcely admit to themselves, and even more so to each other, that they want the world to end. But the fact of the matter is that most people on some level do. Being a “doomer” has even become a popular internet meme. You get a sense of this feeling anytime someone has a particularly fashionable doomsday prophecy or something like this virus breaks out. People talk about “what if this gets worse?” and “what if this is the ‘big one’?” and they do so in very practical sensible ways, but it’s not hard to see something under the practical nervous façade everyone displays. There’s a part of it that is exciting to everyone. There’s a little voice in every one’s head that says “well fuck, if the world ends, I don’t have to go to work on Monday”.

Now that might seem rather funny like a Sunday newspaper comic, but there’s something deep in the psychology of that mindset. People don’t want to have to go to work, but more than that, they don’t want to be expected to participate in the societal machine that makes people go to work and earn money. Part of being an adult is accepting and fulfilling obligations that are somewhat thrust upon you from outside regardless of how one feels about those particular obligations. People are to a degree forced to participate in a society that they don’t agree with, or at the very least, do not like their position in. An apocalypse frees the shit scrubber and the burger flipper to eat his boss and give a finger to the man free of any guilt of any financial or typical consequence. All of us have someone higher on us on the ladder we wouldn’t mind making a meal out of.

Naturally this all extends outside of working relationships and obligations, but to the far reaches of civilization as a whole. Every person from pauper to prince is well aware, that the “system” in place is not only incredibly flawed and corrupt, but also antithetical to the very human soul itself. Obvious injustices such as bigotry, war, poverty; as well as little things like traffic, wasted time, rudeness, all support the notion that something is wrong .“The system” as your local pothead would call it, isn’t designed to crush people into machines and thoughtless consuming automatons, but one can’t be faulted for believing it so, considering how often said system produces such hollow beings. One of the mindset of “Doom” recognizes that the easiest way for these things to change, if they can be changed, is to wipe the slate clean entirely.

                This is the point where most people will close this page because I’m starting to sound like a cultist of some kind. But, those people aren’t remiss to do so. This is the kind of mentality that leads people into cults. Nearly every cult is a “doomsday” cult of some kind. Even Christianity for all its pomp and circumstance, is hardly ever different. Some of the most colorful and interesting passages of the Bible come from the book of Revelations and the prophecy for the end of the world. That’s how natural this all is, how prevalent it is in the human psyche. We have always been waiting for the end of the world, because unlike most animals, we are very poignantly aware of our own mortality, and this awareness manifest itself in strange ways. The strangest of all being embracement.

               This leads to my final point about Doom itself as a state of being, the embracement of death. Now again, I’m not trying to get all death-cult on you, but there is something to be said for not only accepting one’s own mortality, but embracing it. The fact of the matter is, life sucks, and not just these days or in a particular circumstance. Life, on the whole, is a tragedy. We are born into fragile bodies against our will, bodies that will very slowly decay with us trapped inside them. We are born into families we do not choose, with people who do not know but are entrusted with our entire existence, and then as an adult expected to serve someone else entirely. We are expected to work and struggle and to get sick and to suffer until we are physically incapable anymore. And if you whine about it, there will always be someone to chime in and remind you that your particular suffering isn’t even close to the breadth of suffering humans can experience because “someone always has it worse”. This is a world where a good death is considered “getting old”, which is essentially just fermenting and rotting longer than anybody else.  

               To be “Doomed” in this sense is a recognition and rejection of fighting these things. If we are all going to die, then there can be no “good death”. All death is natural, all the world is transient, a passing image. Nothing, least of all people, last forever. You spend a lot more time dead than alive in the grand scheme of things, and in that, being dead is more of the default state. That’s not to say that this is a suicidal feeling at all. This isn’t some philosophy of suicide in so much as it is a philosophy of embracing the inevitable end of all things. Someone in the “doomed” state of being isn’t going to go out and seek the end of their own life, but they aren’t the kind of person to shy away from it either. They allow themselves to fall away and let go of life’s worries much more readily. There is a reason that coming to terms with one’s own mortality is a huge part of Zen and eastern spiritual learning.

Why would you shy away from death and doom if the world is a bag of ass and you’re going to die anyway?

               After many hours wasted thinking, I have come to the conclusion that this is where I draw my artistic inspiration from. All of my world view is painted with a funeral veil. I find myself obsessed with the aesthetics of doom because I constantly live in that state of being. I can’t help but feel a compulsion to drive this aesthetic as far as I can. I feel the innate urge to draw visions of monsters, destroyed cities, and the sky shredded by cosmic terror so naturally. I can’t help but express this feeling through my artwork. Something within me wants to say to people, or remind them; “hey, not only are things like suffering and death very real, but sometimes they are the only thing that is. They are inevitable and they shouldn’t not be cowered from, but embraced and mastered.”

Now, maybe I’m projecting too much. (I tried not to be too first person, oh well). Perhaps I’m just trying to explain my own morbid fascinations I can’t otherwise do so with. Maybe I’m just too edgy for my own good or it’s because I have a very strong belief in the afterlife. Though it’s not out of the realm of possibility that there’s just some people out there (myself chiefly included) who are just sort of depressing, death obsessed freaks. However, I gamble a stamp, that considering how many depressing death obsessed freaks are really out there in the world, that I’m not entirely off-base when I talk about these things being prevalent in the subconscious of the human race as a whole. I believe something deep in the human psyche craves a change, craves destruction to make way for something new. Something in each of us wants these things no matter the cost, something in each of us, craves Doom.

[sinrau]

Here’s a tiny secret. One that Coronavirus should have clued us into. Normal is over. The age of normal is finished, done, a relic of history. Things will not go back to normal. From here, they societies only grow more unstable, economies more depressed, nations more fractured, and lives — yours and mine — more surreal, difficult, and troubled.

There isn’t going to be a return to yesterday’s normal — if by that we mean something like stable, prosperous societies, steadily growing economies, and smoothly functioning nations. That was the rich world, and even in the poor one, normal is over, too. The idea that you can get rich by simply selling stuff to the already rich world — like South Korea did, or China tried — that’s long gone, too.

The effects of Coronavirus are going to last for much of the rest of the next decade. We’re already about six months into a global pandemic, and there’s already no end in sight. Yes, things are reopening — but even that reopening is hesitant and cautious, in wise nations at least, very much unlike yesterday. In unwise nations, like America, reopening is already making the pandemic much, much worse. The lesson is simple: try to go back to normal — bang! — you’re done.

The rest of our lives are going to be much like the last six months. We’re explorers in uncharted territory right about now. How are we to survive things like pandemics, climate change, ecological collapse, mass extinction — and the shattering waves of depression, upheaval, and panic those unleash? Coronavirus is just a warm-up, a drill, a very very tiny taste of the rest of your life.

What’s going to change over the next few decades? What isn’t, is the better question. Now, bare with me. This next part will be a little scary. But stick it out until the end.

Let me give you a small example.

It’s 100 degrees in London today. It should be maybe 75 or so — normal. By 2030, climate change is going to go from intense, to catastrophic. What’s that going to do to you?

There you are, already struggling to eke out a living, like the average American, 80% of whom now live paycheck to paycheck, unable to save a penny, dying in debt they’ve never been able to pay off their whole lives long. You might think: “well, climate change can’t make my life any worse, more unstable, more anxious. What’s the big deal!”

You’d be wrong.

Right about now, you pay something like a quarter of your income for utilities. Water, maybe 5%, electricity, another 5%, insurance another 5%, and so forth. Fast forward a decade. The world is now running out of water. Clean air. Livable temperatures.

Guess which bills suddenly spike? Your water bill now comes to 20% of your income. Your electricity bill — you’ve got to run extra ACs now, night and day — comes to another 20%. Bang! There goes your life. You’re already in perpetual, unpayable debt. What’s going to happen when the costs of the climate crisis land squarely on your shoulders.

Then, one day, you get a bill from the insurance company. Your home insurance premium’s going up 50% a year, you realize, because of the risk of fire, flood, quake. You feel a sudden surge of panic. Your income’s been stuck most of your life. All your credit cards are perpetually maxed out. How are you to afford this? What do you do?

By the 2040s, mass extinction will go from troubling to implosive. The world’s great chains of life will begin to topple, keeling over at the base, as the littlest things finally die off — taking everything else with them. There will be an intense, terrible struggle to keep humanity fed, water, clean, and nourished. The fish don’t clean the rivers anymore: double whammy no food, no water. The insects have stopped turning the soil. Quadruple whammy: less harvest, hotter temperatures, less water, less oxygen.

It all seems abstract to you, until you notice that food prices have been spiraling out of control, as have prices for everything from beer to juice. You used to spend somewhere between 25 and 50 percent of your income feeding your family. But now you can barely seem to accomplish that task on that much. To feed them well, you realize, over the last few years, you’ve had to spend much, much more. And what about all those air purifiers in your home? All those masks everyone wears? All those allergy pills you take? It all adds up. And you realize, horrified, that you’re spending more than half your income now, on such things — the things of basic sustenance, whether decent food, clean air, or drinkable water.

No wonder you’re so deep in debt. No wonder your debts rise every year — and when you think about your financial position, you have panic attacks.

You’re paying the price of mass extinction now — only you don’t quite know it. And it’s bankrupted you, which is why you survive on a lifeline of credit, which, if it were to vanish, would leave you and yours destitute and starving in a matter of not even months, but weeks or days.

By the 2050s, the Final Goodbye will begin. The earth’s great ecosystems will begin to die off, irreversibly. The Amazon. The ocean currents. The glaciers and ice at the poles. All the great systems which keep life on planet earth as we know it breathing, eating, drinking, thriving. But that includes you, too.

And this time, the effects are even more catastrophic. It’s not just water and food bills which rise. Now there are mass shortage of things you once took for granted. That juice, that meat, that bread — it’s not made anymore. It never will be again. The rich have it on the black market, at extortionate prices. That kind of furniture, this kind of clothing, that kind of fabric, this kind of wood — bang! Gone. It’s now the stuff that billionaires keep under lock and key, a trophy, that once used to be a mere shrugging everyday good.

Then there’s medicine, drugs, pharmaceuticals. Without nature to provide many of the basics, medicines, too skyrocket in price. Everything from simple ones to sophisticated ones. Soon enough, you’re spending another huge chunk of income on that. And you get medical insurance bills that make the 2020s look quaint.

But it’s hardly just medical insurance. Insurance of any kind seems to be a luxury now. Who’s going to insure your home, in an age where flood and fire are everyday realities? Who’s going to insure your life, when life expectancy is plummeting? Who’s going to bother insuring your for anything at all — when you’re a pauper, living on life support, who doesn’t have a hope of ever paying off your debts? And you can hardly afford it now, anyways.

Most of your income now goes to two things. One, basics — water, air, food, whether used for cleanliness, nourishment, or sanitation. Two, debt servicing. Even at a relatively low interest rate, you’ll never pay off what you owe.

Meanwhile Amazon and Google hadn’t paid a penny in taxes for decades now. So who can fund a functioning society? You’re spending everything you have on the basics. They’re taking everything they can, and stuffing it in bank accounts. The result is that society’s systems are now simply breaking down, from healthcare to food to water to energy.

You feel a sense of bitter disappointment. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. You try to calm yourself, after a moment seeing red. After all, you’re smart enough to see the effects living at the edge of despair has had on society. Massive waves of people seem to have lost their minds. They cling to bizarre superstitions, spend all day in escapism, flee to conspiracy theories — or worst of all, join one of the many new doomsday cults flourishing everywhere. You remember, hazily, that people used to call the GOP a doomsday cult. It was just the beginning of one. Now there are vast networks of them, people who’ve given up on tomorrow. The skyrocketing suicide of the 20s never stopped rising. Some days, you understand the crushing, mind-numbing fear, too. But the doomers? They’re inconsequential, in the end.

Living without any hope in the future, constantly getting poorer, with no end in sight — it’s created a new politics of fascism. A politics where people are happy to die, as long as their tribe prevails.

Politics is now a brutal contest of power. Which tribe can seize this last morsel of water, air, food? Men with guns roam your streets. You don’t venture out much. You try to make sense of it all. They belong to this faction, that faction. Which one should you join? The idea of a rule of law seems to be a quaint, distant memory. You have to look out for yourself and your own. The tribes distribute these last few resources according to their hierarchies — in which the most violent rise to the top. You’ve never been that kind of person. What hope is there for you, in a world where only the brutal, cruel, selfish, and stupid seem to thrive? How can you protect your kids, and raise them well — or even care for them much at all now?

As civilization’s basic systems have begun to fail, so too have the everyday systems they depended on. Kids going to school need clean air, water, food, energy. All those things are in short, short supply now. Who can afford to run a world class school system when the prices of those basics have spiraled out of control? Your kids go to school — some days. But it’s a charade, a place they stay busy, maybe out of trouble, for a while.

What happens, you wonder, if you need healthcare? If a school needs clean air, water, food, a hospital does, too, all the more so — and then some. It needs medicine, a constant, dependable supply of energy, sanitation, hygiene. But all those things, too, seem to be vanishing. There are brownouts now, days when the water just stops flowing, days when the smog is so bad you can barely leave the house. You can go to the hospital, sure — but like the school, it’s a barely functional, decrepit place, a broken system. You’re probably better off at home, you realize, taking your chances.

After all, at least at home, you won’t get infected by any of the strange new diseases ripping through society. What had begun to happen in the first decades of the 21st century, it later emerged, was a trend. Ebola, SARS, MERS, Corona. Zoonotic viruses. They weren’t an anomaly — but another kind of catastrophe. As humanity had encroached on nature, its poor and hungry ripping came in contact with, ate, drank, touched wildlife anew. And diseases crossed the species barrier like a great river.

It seemed there was a new one every decade, every five years or so. Coronavirus had been a shock, but only because it was the first one. Now, the world was used to them. And the truth was that the world in 2020 had been both richer and had more willpower to fight. Now? People just shrugged, and went about their business. You took your chances.

The world had grown poor. People’s spirits had broken. Life had become a bitter, brutal contest for self-preservation. It was you against everyone else. You woke up, and had one job: try to acquire the basics for your family to survive this day, this week. From anyone and everyone else. How were you going to get water, food, air?

Economists put that in a different way. The global economy had now become a zero sum game. For basics. Sustenance and nourishment. Hygiene and cleanliness and sanitation. Health. Money to pay off the interest on the debt, without which you wouldn’t have credit, and then you’d die.

Everyone competed against everyone else, every day, for these basic things.

Why? Because the globe had underinvested during humanity’s most critical period. Instead of three massive, historic waves of investment — the first to fight climate change, the second to fight mass extinction, and the third to fight ecological collapse — all those catastrophes had come true. And so had their side effects, which ranged from economic depression to social upheaval to pandemics.

Things like working financial, social, economic systems — banks, hospitals, schools, jobs? A distant memory of better times. Now life was just this endless combat, for survival.

The world hadn’t learned the lesson of the rich country which had become a poor one. The powerful one which had ended up a failed state.

The world had gone American. It had become poor, broken, dysfunctional — and proud of it, in many places. It was now incapable of taking any kind of collective action at all. Predatory elites laughed, and profited from the ruin. The poor begged the rich to be their servants. A new feudal-aristocratic economy had emerged, in which collapse-peasantry and extinction-serfdom were the new bitter realities. Poverty, despair, ruin were watchwords. Nations imploded, as politics became self-destruction — and those were the lucky ones. The unlucky ones descended into chaos, a free for all of every person for themselves, by way of nihilism, theocracy, fascism, and hate — just like America had, in the 30s.

There you were. The average person, trapped in this vicious cycle of self-preservation, too poor, weary, broke now to do anything but watch, in panic, in fear, in fury, as a new dark age fell, and one by one, the lights of civilization went out.

I know that the above is scary — but my point isn’t to scare you. It’s to say that there are profound changes to come over the next three decades, some of the greatest in human history. We can be proactive, and take it upon ourselves to make those changes in manageable ways. Or those changes can and will be forced upon us in ways that we are unlikely to be able to cope with. Coronavirus is just one such change, but there are many more on the way as climate change, mass extinction, and ecosystem collapse unleash waves of depression, upheaval, and dislocation to rival history’s greatest catastrophes — over and over again. So don’t consider this a prophecy — consider it a warning.

Umair June 2020

[ihatemyselfbutidolovetea]

10/10/19

So a youtuber I used to be a big fan of and former art senpai got hacked, and no longer on Youtube. And now I feel like I took her work for granted. 

So I’m not gonna lie, I haven’t felt on good terms with Reitanna as a person. I don’t think she’s a piece of shit or anything, just deeply troubled. I found out about Rei twice actually. Once from these two creepypasta events (Candle Cove and Booth World Industries) and the other time from her IZ yaoi comic. When I first watched her, she had this alluring glow to her that I can’t exactly explain. She felt like this cool quirky friend in high school where you can rave about Invader Zim “RAWR XD so random” culture, makeup, anime, and hot punk/emo/goth/alternative boys. I loved her personality, written work, artwork, characters, and music. I didn’t mind that she would make videos about her trauma and tough life and mental disorders. A lot of youtubers I watched seemed so fake, so it was refreshing to hear a person be real and talk about their experience, even if it’s hard and can make people uncomfortable. Only I would end up listening to her life story, seemingly on repeat. Constantly bringing it up when she felt wronged by someone. She has every right to talk about whatever she wants though. But it gets really off-putting after hearing about it over and over. Slowly, but surely it felt like Rei was close, or had already swallowed the black pill. Her personality went from warm bombastic and inviting to doomer. And it showed in her more recent content. I think this started around 2016 or 2017...? Her content felt more like a waiting game to see if she’ll get “better.” I’m not trying to criticize her, I’m not asking her to change, I’m just explaining why I couldn’t follow her content anymore. As much as I want to make people happy by supporting them, doomers influence my down a path I don’t want to go on. I’m sensitive and very prone to bouts of depression and existential crisis. Yeah you could call me a pussy and to grow a thicker skin. It’s just way too easy to fall down the doomer rabbit hole for me. Because of that I had to unsubscribe, even though I really didn’t want to. Though I never stopped following her art on DA, mostly because her DA was more content and creative based. And after I unsubbed, I ended up forgetting about her a lot. And on occasions she’d creep back into my mind and I’d think to myself “Huh. I wonder what Reitanna is up to?” And I’d either take a small peak or go on a nostalgia binge with her creative works. 

Today she creeped back into my mind. I thought “Ya know since Invader Zim is popular again, maybe she updated her zadr stuff” (wishful thinking, I know) I was aware a few months back that her DA got deleted because.... I think she got reported for inappropriate content....? I don’t know. When I watched her address it in a video she surprisingly took it well. I felt rest assured this was a bump in the road and things would be back to normal with her. But when I searched her name on youtube, I was sorely mistaken. All I found was “Reitanna got hacked” and “What happened to Reitanna?” And when I saw those thumbnails my heart sank... I felt like a huge shallow bitch for unsubbing her. And that I took her work for granted. 

Just some quick thoughts. I thought it was better than dwelling on this tough week some more.       

[wearethegladiators]

WHERE ARE THEY NOW? RACHEL EDITION

fc: leighton meester

age: 27 (it’s been very confusing because she’s sometimes born in 1991, sometimes in 1993. I think we made her older so that she could legally inherit from the DCH so let’s make her 27 - or about to be. I see her as more of a end of the year/winter child tbh.)

job: head of dch bitch 

(long post ahead buckle up kids)

Backstory-wise

 Rachel’s back-story is a good 99% inspired by shitty téléfilms but I wouldn’t change most of it, she’s had it and that really defines who she is as a person. (I mean, she definitely did not have a split personality disorder wth? I watched too much Heroes for sure. She may be struggling with an Intermittent Explosive Personality Disorder though, like Liam in TW). The plane crash thingy may be a bit too much, but... I mean, Rachel IS the final girl. I’m used to playing survivor but l’essence même de Rachel c’est d’être une survivante. Ah si, aussi, her father is now called Louis Seymour and no longer Lewis Seyfried (wth did all our characters had such American names???? Lewis’s French, goddamn it). Oh and we’re gonna be talking disability as well.

I couldn’t find her comprehensive back-story so let’s just go with the flow. Aurélia and Louis definitely were not married, they probably did not even have a stable relationship (I mean how could you have a stable relationship with Aurélia). But I can see them dating for a while, Louis may have been touring in the U.S. to show his work and skills, anyway. I don’t think Aurelia ever told him about her pregnancy which DRAMATICALLY parallels Tyler and Rachel’s story (actually I pretty much think she did not tell anyone…). Or maybe she did, years later. Or when she left Rachel at an orphanage somewhere in Canada. So yeah Rachel was abandoned aged 1 J She mostly grew up in that structure, but she had behavioral/anger issues and she was bullied by other kids/did not stay for long with her foster families. So Rachel, a SURVIVOR, ultimately freaking ran away from that orphanage (probably around 10-ish years old) and pretty much… lived in the streets for a while, and walked a lot (boi she’s got so much in common with Lukas yo). She was ultimately found by a family which put an “ad” in the local newspapers and that’s how her maternal grandmother found her. For some reason the maternal grandmother decided not to keep her (she stayed max 1 year with her) and to send her back to her father in France (either in the South or in Normandy). Then they took the plane, let’s say they had no crash and Rachel found her dad and she lived at his place until she was 14 years old (when he was killed by Z) and she was very happy about it. That’s pretty much where she learnt how to ride because bah mdr she probably had never done so before, or only in colo or shit like that; she also learnt at least “French” French (she potentially knew Québecois). I don’t think she ever was a jockey though or that Z and GG shot her horse during a race MDRRR (remember it’s 2019 we have plotlines now). But her father was still killed by Z and euh well… she ended up once again with no parental figure and was supposed to be brought back to foster care/an orphanage, which was not very cool, so guess what? SHE RAN AWAY BITCH. I can see her hitchhiking and pretty much stealing stuff and maybe hanging out with weird people in some squats (but NEVER doing drugs that’s so not Rachel), and ultimately she ended up in Paris where she thought she could “disappear”, maybe find a job or something – anyway, opportunities. She probably had a fake ID that said she was 18 and maybe she was even able to buy a car (but just to sleep in it mdr) (or to drive illegally, I mean, yeah). And I guess one day she found the DCH and asked John and Elodie if she could work there for some money and they took her in and now she’s a star!!

Also there was an interesting aspect to Rachel when I first started playing her (a while, while ago): she had that big accident while riding a horse and was pretty much left disabled by it and did not ride for years until boom, DOOMER bitch. I don’t think she would have been able to survive the way she did with a disability but I kind of like this storyline so I guess maybe she had this “accident” with no big consequences but she was heavily traumatized by it (her horse may still have died in it but that would seriously echo Cassey’s story – I mean that happens but still). So she probably did not ride for a while after that, yeah.

Started from palefrenière ended up CEO BITCH

 Professionally

Well I mean, Rachel’s pretty much at the top of her career… I think she’s pretty big now, people are starting to respect her in the business. It was quite hard being in charge at 18 because no one would take her seriously but she’s proven repeatedly that she’s to be counted with by now. There are probably people coming to the DCH just to learn about their methods. Maybe they are little girls looking up to her. She’s definitely holding Ted-Talk-like conferences btw. Maybe she had her own Ted Ex?

She made the DCH much bigger, they probably have more horses now and they DO have an administrative/business/executive team, YEAH. She also definitely worked on the “social”/”horses heal” aspect, probably extending the procedure Tyler benefited from, maybe opening up séances once or twice a week for people in rehab or neuroatypical people, because that’s the crap she does – Rachel cares, yo.

She went back to class! Remember Rachel never got the Bac because she was fired from high-school mdr? She went back and got it, probably around 2013-2014, Sarah Manning style. And then she did a BTS in accounting to take care of the financial aspect of the DCH (because Jake’s great, and everyone’s great in the new team, but everything Rachel does is obviously greater). I think she even got a Bachelor degree in Management by now! MY GIRLLLL

She stopped her career as a jockey as soon as she found out she was pregnant. Doomer had another jockey for some races but stopped winning mdr so he’s now retired. None of them are running anymore, it was a once-in-a-lifetime thingy. <3

Rachel’s popular but she doesn’t get to play it all funny like Jade and Lucie do. She’s the business women. She has to negotiate and go hard. So she’s definitely not as liked as the jockeys are, and she’s definitely not as famous as they are but she SO strives to be, she’s definitely doing ads for yoghurts and shit yup. She does not get to travel as much as they do either, but… She likes it. Being in charge. And she’s good at it. She’s a workaholic, a girl boss, a fashion icon.

Tries to care on her time to teach stuff but she’s soooo busy. Mais c’est elle qui supervise toutes les formations et tous les programmes et personne a rien à dire hihihi

 Personally

Well, she had a baby… I don’t think 1) this came as a big surprise (she definitely was not on the pill and I don’t know but I can’t picture Tyler and Rachel as extremely careful people smh) and 2) she even questioned keeping it. Like she was already pretty much the mother of Chelsea (who was a baby!!) and Mike, but having a baby of her own is like a totally different thing. Rachel is a survivor first and foremost but she’s also… such a mother??? So nurturing and stuff. Like she never really had a parental figure (or never for more than 3 motherfucking years) and yet I think she was super good at taking care of the Howkins children?? She also had experience as a “single parent”, and she felt she NEEDED that baby to recover (especially if Tyler was presumably dead). So yeah, of course she kept it. She probably learnt about it WEEKS before telling the team btw, just to act surprised and be like “omg, maybe this a bit too late……..” mdr I love her

Honestly even if Tyler isn’t dead I don’t think she would have told him. And see that’s the big difference between Rachel and Cass: she doesn’t run after people. If they leave, they leave. If they drown, they drown. It’s all about survival and she’s not letting anyone take her down, not even her first love. So no, she wouldn’t tell him. And she wouldn’t ask him anything ofc. So yeah mdr, ambiance when he comes back after 2 years hahahaha

Also I think she’s raising a very good, very woke kid. Which is surprising because Rachel is very tolerant but you know, she’s also very closeted, she’s very traditional in some ways, definitely the less likely to vote on the left side… It’d be interesting btw if the kid (who has a cute name like Timothy/Timothée/Titouan) ends up “different” in some way, I don’t know, neuroatypical, autistic, or just gay?? I mean I don’t know but that would be interesting for her character

Also mdr poor kid must be a bit confused about his parents. Josh was there pretty much all the time to help take care of him for the first 2-3 years of his life and maybe he even moved in at some point, for some time. If Tyler never came back the kid would legit have thought that Josh was his dad hahaha

 And I mean Rachel’s a sentimental bitch, she’s into long relationships and she’s very committed and… if Tyler comes back there will always be an attraction and an attachment and they’re definitely still hooking up once in a while… which must be very weird for the kid… because Rachel is sometimes also hooking up with Josh… I mean… (Josh/Rach are pretty endgame I’m sorry but they’re… it’s complicated) (gosh Josh is the Rachel’s Jake mdrrrr)

I think btw Rachel has been in a long-term relationship (like at least a good year) with some guy outside of the DCH and they broke up because…… she cheated on him with Josh, or Ty, or both, maybe for some time mdr. WHAT A MESS I SWEAR my girl just dreamt of being married having kids and living in a little nice farm but I guess dysfunctional people just work… dysfunctional…

Oh I think she REALLY likes Lukas btw. They’re even more similar than Dan/Rachel and that’s a good way of actually appreciating Daniel… without actually appreciating Daniel. Wouldn’t be surprised if they had hooked up too (nothing is okay dans ces écuries), but yeah, probs a good friend, plus she misses one since Jake left (the fact that he helped with the administrative shite?? probably made them even closer tbh, what a good guy)

She really cares about Daniel too, tbh. She definitely can see some pieces of herself in him and… well she doesn’t like that, but still. Actually I think if he was the one to run away she may have run after him… to kick his ass, BUT STILL. Maybe she’s the one taking him to the meetings when Cassey can’t?? :’) I also like to think their relationship has matured – but in a Dan/Rach way. They can tolerate each other but yeah, every freaking meal they yell at each other at some point, but talk in a very normal/casual way two minutes right after. Everyone’s shook but that’s ok for them. They’re kids basically. I like them.

I don’t think she’s so close to Bella anymore… Like I said Rach is really not the type to cling onto relationships, if people live far away she’s not gonna make efforts. She doesn’t have time anyway. Still likes her a lot, still would be freaking happy if she came visiting

Jake and Rach are very good friends; Jade and Lucie are like her two big sisters who have literally seen her grow up from her 15 year-old self to her 27-year-old GOSH I’M EMO. One of them definitely is the godmother of her son, maybe both. Jake’s the godfather. Omg family meetings must be so chaotic

I think she really likes Emeline, too, she was kind of a vent de fraîcheur and she appreciates her for that

ADAM. THIS GODDAMN ASSHOLE. Well Adam’s blood. And he’s the only family she’s got (left). So it’s ride or die bitch. I mean Rachel always had a very grayish moral code… so it’s not a big surprise she stuck with her brother whatever shit he did. Definitely kicked his ass every step of the way but… she stayed. Always. Which is surprising for Rachel, but Adam is actual family and I think she really cares about that cause god she never had a family. They’re still in touch. I can see them going in holidays two weeks a year and doing absolute bullshit that could get them in serious trouble. Yeah. She really cares. (I mean, she’s the one he called when he crashed a freaking police car so i hope he cares, too.)

SHE SAW AURELIA. FINALLY. I mean it obviously did not go well, she probably tried to strangle her at some point or something like that but… she did it. Probably when she was pregnant for drama purposes. And they’ve seen each other for a few times, ever since. Maybe Aurélia has even come to the DCH. But Rachel absolutely refuses that she builds a bond with her son. There’s a lot of drama, and Aurélia’s often on the road, but… they’re trying to make things right with their problematic personalities. I honestly think Rachel picked a lot on Aurelia’s side.

Btw, Rachel’s really a family girl and I think she stalked the fuck out of her family whenever she could. So she probably knew that Aurelia had a son and that’s probably how she found out that Adam was her brother. And Aurelia… she definitely freaking stalked her daughter, too.

Hm, what else… I hope Fuadegh is still alright I loved that horse!!!! I hope he has a baby and that baby’s Rachel’s baby. Did that make sense

Yeah the DCH definitely has sort of “farm aisle” where the public does not go. It’s basically la garderie for all the kids mdr

I like to believe the Howkins kids turned out well. I mean maybe Mike had to process more trauma than Chelsea who really was a baby when things were bad. Maybe it’s resurfacing and he’s being a bit difficult at the time. I can see him very close to Josh. We stan Josh, all the kids do.

OH YEAH BIG THING. You know how Rachel has loads of anger issues and stuff… Well she calmed down somehow, but because she had no choice. She got into a very heavy dispute with some other director/jockey/breeder/whatever, a pretty influential one. And she  started threatening him – Rachel style. Le mec a ensuite porté plainte et ça a déclenché une perquisition au Domaine où la police a effectivement découvert que Rachel, that bitch, possédait plusieurs armes de manière totalement illégale hihihi. Elle a été condamnée, petit scandale, une assistante sociale est venue plusieurs fois au Domaine, on a menacé de mettre le DCH sous tutelle et tout c’était la cata. Donc elle s’est un peu calmée. Je pense aussi que Mike/son fils aurait pu avoir des problèmes d’agressivité à l’école, qu’elle se serait dit que ça pouvait venir d’elle, et que du coup elle ESSAYAIT, vraiment, d’être un peu une bombe humaine. (Puis il y a sûrement pas mal de plaintes contre elle, ne serait-ce que venant de Kevin, pour aggravated assault, donc elle a VRAIMENT intérêt à se calmer).

Random

She dyed her hair blond at some point. Everyone was like “Rachel no”, she was like “Rachel yes”, she did it, it did not turn so bad.

She still lives in her teenage bedroom!!! Elle a sûrement fait des putains de travaux sur la façade pour étendre un peu le truc pour quand elle devait dormir avec son bébé mais elle a jamais voulu de cette punaise de chambre. Tbh Jade’s probably the one living in the Howkins’ master bedroom hahahaha

I can see her dating an old business man for some time, probably did not last for too long tho. Can you imagine Lukas and his sugar mommy/daddy and Rachel with her old businessman?? (except she’s rich she doesn’t need a sugar daddy yo)

She’s got a bunch of tattoos. Quotes and very common ones

She’s definitely the one that looked the less traumatized because her whole life has been shit and this wasn’t honestly wasn’t so big of a difference… But I like to believe she’s been to therapy, has seen a psychologist, or maybe is in a full psychanalyse… Maybe she was forced to because of the investigation but it doesn’t matter, I want her to speak and to heal, she deserves that

She makes me think a lot about Malia Tate in how they’re both assumed to be “street-smart”, not exceptionally smart kids, savages actually, but they somehow manage to never fall behind in classes in spite of a very chaotic scolarité. My girl IS smart, she’s just very bad at showing it

[doomedandstoned]

Konvent Debut Neck-Breaking Death Doom Masterpiece

~By Willem Verhappen~

It's not often that I'm impressed by a demo, but every so often Bandcamp treats me to something special, a diamond in the rough. It was only last year that I came across the 2017 demo of Danish death doomers , but it stuck with me. This demo promised me a good mix of stuff I like, namely nasty death doom with some catchy stoner hooks molded into it. Just listen to "Square" to see what I mean. I'm happy to say that I wasn't the only one impressed by the demo, because Austrian metal merchants Napalm Records once again prove that they have an ear for talent, picking up Konvent and releasing their debut record, 'Puritan Masochism' (2020).

Listening to Puritan Masochism makes it clear that these women have developed their sound quite a bit in the last couple of years. The stoner influences are pushed to the background. What remains is crushing, relentless death doom. Straight forward, no-nonsense, hard hitting metal in its purest form, but with a keen sense of melody.

By the time you've reached the third track, "Trust," anyone who says they're not hooked on the riffs, is lying. If you're more a fan of the really heavy death metal, "World of Gone" will serve you well. Musically, I keep comparing Konvent to the slower Dutch death metal bands like Asphyx and Grand Supreme Blood Court. Heidi Withington Brink (bass) and Julie Simonsen (drums) deliver a pounding, sluggish base, while Sara Helena Nørregaard adds an extra dimension with her thriving, faster guitar work.

Rikke Emilie List's grunts are the (rotten) cherry on top. This woman has a set of pipes that would make many of her colleagues blush. Her vocals alternate between growls similar to those of Nick Holmes and the sub-bass grunts you'd expect on a Demilich record. On the stomping "Waste," List gets some help from Morild's Tue Krebs Roikjer, who throws some black metal screams in the mix.

While I consider this record more of a death metal record with doom influences, this is changes during the two-parter "Ropes." In the first part, the band is leaning more towards black metal, with dissonant melodies and some much needed air to breathe. "Ropes Pt. II" is by far the most dynamic song on Puritan Masochism, mixing death doom with faster parts, sounding almost like post metal, but dirtier. Much dirtier. With this the band proves that there's more to Konvent than just death and doom.

In their promo sheet, Napalm blatantly states that Copenhagen might become the new death doom capital, and while that might be a bit much, I can't deny that Konvent is a force to be reckoned with. It's not often I find a straight forward death doom record that manages to grab me from beginning to end, without being over 20 years old, but this is one of them. Up until now, I associated Denmark mostly with Mercyful Fate and Lego, but you can add Konvent to that list.

An interview with Sara from Konvent

First of all, thank you for this interview. 'Puritan Masochism' (2020) has been out for a couple of weeks now. How are the reactions so far?

Hi! And thank you so much for wanting to talk to us. Yeah, Puritan Masochism has been out since 24th January and we just finished our tour in Denmark, Norway, Sweden and Germany.

We’ve been overwhelmed with the attention our album is getting and it’s really exciting to see how people are reacting to it. The reactions have been really good and we couldn’t think of a better reception of the album. Of course it’s a matter of taste whether you like it or not, and we know that our album isn’t for all. But seeing so many people coming to our shows in cities or countries we have never been before, and people actually buying our vinyls and merchandise just makes us so happy and gives us the desire to keep on going.

Since this is our debut album we already got a lot of new ideas for the second album and we actually see this very much as a learning process where we are able to evolve over time. There has also been a lot of people wanting to talk to us and interview us, and we really haven't seen that coming to such an extent. But people have been really nice and it’s always fun to meet people. So we’re happy!

Puritan Masochism by Konvent

There’s quite a gap between your demo and your debut record and it’s clear you’ve grown as a band. Can you tell us a bit about what has been going on in the past three years?

Thank you so much! The first year we pretty much spent on getting to know our instruments and each other, but we quickly started working on our own material, and the demo that came out in 2017 was a result of that. Then we played a lot of shows around Denmark and that really helped us grow as musicians and as a group. During all these shows we were also working on songs for a debut album, but it was a very slow process. It wasn’t until after we got on Napalm Records, that we really stepped it up and got to finish it.

At the same time, it was also important to do it in our way and not let ourselves be pressured of someone else expectations to us. The demo was a big learning curve for us regarding our sound. It just expanded our minds on how creative we could get with the sound. This really helped us when we went into the studio with Lasse Ballade from Ballade Studios to record our debutalbum, because we spent a long time tweaking the sound of the instruments and putting small things in here and there. And Lasse was imminent in making the sound of the album! He is a beast at what he does and was such a treat to work with. I think this gap between our demo and the album reflects a lot of what many other bands are “struggling” with as well.

On the one hand, you really want to get out and play as many gigs as possible, but on the other hand you also want to prioritize making some great songs - and sometimes it can be difficult to achieve it all. It takes time. We also had many people asking us why we didn’t put some of the demo songs on the album. But we really wanted to make new songs, because some of the demo songs were from 2016 and we felt like we had evolved as musicians. So we knew we could make even better songs if we just pushed ourselves.

Demo by Konvent

What were your inspirations, both musical and lyrical for the record?

Our album isn’t a concept album, but if you were to put a theme on it, or around the lyrics of the songs it would basically be losing control over your life.

The song "Puritan Masochism" -- which is also the title of the album -- is about how everyone has a tendency to do things, or thinking things that actually hurt us, but we keep thinking/doing those things because we feel we have to, in order to fit into something or to live up to some imagined expectations. And sometimes we keep doing these things without even realizing it because you just go on autopilot. It’s sort of our way to say that we don’t have to live like that.

But our inspiration comes from everyday life experiences, both ups and downs, but mostly downs. Musically we all have a lot of different genres that we like. Julie likes hardcore and punk and Rikke likes tech death. So we all drag different genres and styles into the rehearsal place and it just goes on from there.

Your music has quite an old school vibe to it. Was that intentional?

We really wanted that raw, gritty sound, as if the music is coming from the abyss! And that’s why we chose to work with Lasse Ballade, because he had made a bunch of cool records that we really admired. Also, we don’t like too many guitar solos and a lot of effects and that was important to us when we picked our producer.

We never sat down and decided to play death doom. The only thing we talked about from the beginning, was to play heavy music with an evil sound and growling vocals. So after the first rounds of rehearsals where we were playing covers, we quickly felt like just playing something of our own. And we just jumped head first in there and made riffs before we even knew exactly what we were doing. I don’t think we knew in the beginning that the songs we were making sounded doomy and old school like and it wasn’t until other people heard it that the genre doom came up. We remember having to write something about our music before our first show in 2016 and just not knowing what to write. So we had to get people in, to get their opinion on it. We've also been compared to some bands that we didn't even know before -- we just play the music we feel like.

Your agenda appears to be quite empty so far. Can we expect to see you on tour again soon?

We just finished our Puritan Masochism Tour with 10 gigs in Denmark, Sweden, Norway and Germany. And we’re going to London and Oslo this month also. We also have some festival gigs for this summer. It’s a pretty big thing for us, when we’re able to go to new places or countries, we have never been before.

We are still a very young band that not a lot of people know of, so we’re actually really happy about our agenda this far. We’ve played at Roskilde Festival and Copenhell, which is the two biggest festivals in Denmark. And to see our first single “Puritan Masochism” on YouTube get so many views is crazy to us, too. Regarding people showing up to shows and buying merch, we’ve always been pretty lucky. People are really good at coming out early to see us and eager to support us in the merch booth, so that is a huge thing for us.

Of course, we would really like to go on bigger tours and play more festivals, as long as it can work out financially. And we are steadily getting more offers, so that’s really exciting! Our booker Thorsten, from Napalm Events is handling all our offers, but we often get messages directly from bookers who want to put on a show with us and then we just direct it to him. And, yes, we have more plans for 2020, but we can’t tell anymore at this moment, sorry!

Your label states that Copenhagen might become the next death doom capital. Do you agree? Are there any death doom or doom bands from your local scene that we should keep an eye on??

That’s a big statement! But there are so many great bands here in Copenhagen and the rest of Denmark. I don’t think that death/doom is the most popular genre here in Denmark. People tend to like it faster. But worth mentioning is the danish band Katla. We just played two gigs with them and they appear to do it pretty well on the Danish scene with a debut album to come in 2020. Otherwise we have bands like Alkymist, Bethmoora, Drukner, Dirt Forge and, of course, Saturnus.

The title 'Puritan Masochism' has a clear religious context. Is Denmark a religious country?

Not really. "Puritan Masochism" is the title for our first single from the album, as well, and it was the first track that was finished for it several years ago. The song is about how us humans have a tendency to put ourselves in situations where we don’t feel good enough. With this song we’re hoping that people will identify and question their habits of doing that. We felt like this would be a great album title because it was something we really resonated with. We did not think of it in a religious context.

Once again, thank you for your time. Any last words for our readers?

Thank you so much and thank you for wanting to interview us! Hopefully we’ll see you at a show at some point. And thank you to all the people out there listening to our music and buying our stuff. This means the world to us.

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[doomedandstoned]

A Listener’s Guide to ‘Defying The Righteous Way’ by Cardinals Folly

~By Billy Goate~

~Photographs by Murder Basement Studios~

CARDINALS FOLLY belong to the Reverend Bizarre school of doom, but also takes its cues from '80s Gothic rock. In this way, Cardinals Folly (who started life as The Coven in 2004) and Lord Vicar were among the first to pioneer a sound that soon caught on with other bands like Acolytes of Moros, Caskets Open, and Weird Tales, to name a few. Their style makes for a transfixing listening experience and I've been enamored of the band since discovering their first LP, "Such Power Is Dangerous!' (2011). Who would have dreamed then that the trio from Helsinki would one day be playing Doomed & Stoned Festival?

It's also hard to believe that the doomed crew of Count Karnstein (bass, vox), Nordic Wrath (guitar), and Battle Ram (drums) are now on album number five, with two EPs and two splits also under their belt. As prolific as Cardinals Folly seem, they don't seem to have lost their edge on 'Defying The Righteous Way' (2020). After all, this far into an artist's discography I'm used to picking up on notes of lethargy, with some bands having to really stretch the definition of a "song" just to get another album out there (usually under contractual obligation). When you do what you do for the love of music, the compositional pen flows freely.

Let's start with the title. Defying The Righteous Way is an obvious dig at one of the Norseman's truest adversaries: Christianity. When the religion of Jesus came to Finland it was an aggressive ideology of conquest co-opted by the Catholic Church. The Northern Crusades saw to it that one way or another the Skandanavian people were converts, even if in name only. Before metal, there was still a heavy underground, so to speak, comprised of resisters who may have given lip service to The Cloth, but a very pagan connection to the earth.

The modality of Cardinals Folly quite often marries doom with ancient mannerisms of song, illustrated in the stately Medieval rhythm and the chanting chorus of "The Great Santur." I think it is this aspect of the band's output I've enjoyed the most, as it feels like they're somehow bridging a connection to the past, when resentments simmered for clergy and king alike.

For newer listeners, Defying The Righteous Way makes as good an introduction as any to the band's characteristic sound and style portfolio. Cardinals Folly toggles between fast-trotting songs like "Witchfinders," mid-tempo stompers like "Last House On The Left," and the more traditional slow burners like "Stars Align Again." In this way, they call to mind Saint Vitus (especially the Scott Reagers-era) out of all the Fathers of Doom.

If I have any complaint, it's simply that there isn't enough sadness on the album for my taste, with the exception of "Last House On The Left," which has some very effective moments of melancholia in its second half. Maybe it's because Mikko Kääriäinen's vocals have always hinted of sorrow for me, but they're mostly used to express gravity. I suppose "Strange Conflict" does come closer to scratching my depressive itch. By the way, I do love its Joy Division-esque pulse during the six-minute mark.

While the songs may not pop out immediately in a sing-along sense, the collective vibe does grow on you. There's an undeniable energy about Defying The Righteous Way that reveals a band with finely tuned musical instincts and a damning fire within, still longing to Burn The Priest.

Give ear...

Defying The Righteous Way by Cardinals Folly

Cardinals Folly Frontman Reveals True Meaning Behind New Songs

Doomed & Stoned recently asked Mikko Kääriäinen (aka Count Karnstein) if he would illuminate the new Cardinal's Folly album, 'Defying The Righteous Way' (2020). He responded by giving us this in-depth track-by-track breakdown, which fans of the band will surely relish.

STARS ALIGN AGAIN

Defying The Righteous Way by Cardinals Folly

The wild "we're back!" opener track starts off slowly but picks up pace nicely, to introduce both faces of the band. Once our warlocks of heavy doom metal have re-animated their body again after finding it from the northern graveyard, to honor the old gods in Lovecraftian fashion, the doom hulk is ready to ride again.

DERANGING THE PRIEST

Defying The Righteous Way by Cardinals Folly

Once the Deranged Pagan Sons have been let loose, things can't be stopped anymore. Second track unleashes NWOBHM-influenced galloping dirty heavy metal goodness with anti-religious statement and fury. Continuing on the path set by the previous album and it's title track indeed, "Deranging the Priest" unleashes even more wrath upon the tyranny created by righteous men. This song is traditional doom's own church burner.

WITCHFINDERS

Defying The Righteous Way by Cardinals Folly

Vicious metal riffs combined with the pathos of a psychotic witchfinder, a modern day Matthew Hopkins who sets out to punish evil witches in his own right. Disappointment in women was probably a major fuel in this fire, heh! This is maybe my favorite from the album. What's funny is that we almost dropped it. Right before the studio we had this and another song with our finger on the trigger, we needed to drop either of them to cut the album down to 45 minutes. Luckily we chose right, because on our recent German tour, this became an instant live hit as well.

THE GREAT SANTUR

Defying The Righteous Way by Cardinals Folly

Originally meant as the album-closer track, "The Great Santur" again demonstrates our own take on nordic mysticism and it's epicness from the opening bell, and never lets it go. I love playing this song, because it's so ceremonial, and the chorus fills my mind with epic visions each time I sing it. The intro sample again is a throwback from the past, reminding us of "Secret of the Runes" from the previous album "Deranged Pagan Sons" (2017) and "Walvater Proclaimed!" from the Lucifer's Fall split (2019). I'm hearing a lot of Bathory, Summoning and even very early Amorphis in this one! We ended up choosing this as the A side closer, because it's slightly shorter than "Strange Conflict", and we nowadays plan all album structures with the vinyl format in mind, so it's divided in two halves.

THE LIVING DEAD

Defying The Righteous Way by Cardinals Folly

"The Living Dead" opens the second half of the album, which is an introduction to the B side, if you're listening to the vinyl version. It works the same way on any format, providing a brief séance and another visit to the bizarre horror classic "Psychomania" (1971), that we already tributed a track to on our third album "Holocaust of Ecstasy & Freedom" (2016)...

ULTRA-VIOLENCE

Defying The Righteous Way by Cardinals Folly

...which brings us to "Ultra-Violence", or more like throws it suddenly straight into our face. A fierce punk-doomer that deals with A Clockwork Orange and energy to stomp down a bunch of devotchkas after a hazy night in the korova milk bar. Slight doom part in the middle calms it down before the final attack. Music and lyrics for this one came from me already in 2016 before the previous album, but it was just waiting to boil up a bit. Definitely our most punky song so far. Anthony Burgess and Stanley Kubrick rule.

LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT

Defying The Righteous Way by Cardinals Folly

Doom, horror films and bloodlust definitely dominate the majority of the B-side of this album, and thus this song dedicated to Wes Craven's best film grabs the torch from its equally disturbing predecessor honorably, travelling through suburbs with Krug's horny and homicidal gang. It's grooviness is definitely one of the malicious and deadly kinds. As life escapes from the girls of this story, so does the groovy rockiness transform slowly into screams of horror, dirges of melancholy and hopelessness, and finally into a slow final riff draining our life into an uncertain death...

STRANGE CONFLICT

Defying The Righteous Way by Cardinals Folly

I guess it's an unwritten rule that every Cardinals Folly album should carry within itself some sort of homage to the "Prince of Thriller Writers", the late Dennis Wheatley (1877-1977). The title reminds us of the early works compilation we released through Shadow Kingdom Records back in 2013, yet it pays tribute to Wheatley's 1940 WWII black magic novel, where the nazis are determining the routes of the secret British atlantic convoys by using a witch doctor in Haiti, leading into an epic white magic/black magic battle. Musically it travels from epic doom to Iron Maiden-ish heavy metal takeoff, which boils down to the final slow doomed hypnotic dirge of the album, that floats us again towards uncharted seas and uncertain fates..

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[doomedandstoned]

Candlemass: 35 Years A Band

  ~A Doomed & Stoned Double Feature~  

Dare To Knock On   The Door To Doom

By Magnus Tannergren  

I don't know how well known it is that CANDLEMASS hails from the same hoods in the Upplands Väsby right outside Stockholm as both Yngwie Malmsteen and Europe. And it is a fact that Candlemass debut album Epicus Doomicus Metallicus was released just two weeks after Europe's smash hit album The Final Countdown. We all know that that album earned Europe worldwide fame. Candlemass, on the other hand, remained an underground affair for decades.

Yet the legacy of Candlemass cannot be underestimated in anyway when it comes to heavy music. Their slow, heavy Sabbath worship paved the way for a whole genre inspired by the heavy rock and proto-metal of the ‘70s that we call, up until this present day, doom metal. Ironically, Europe now days have returned to their roots and sound more like Deep Purple or Rainbow than anything else. The circle is complete.

Anyway, this is a review of the new Candlemass album 'The Door To Doom' (2019 - Napalm Records) and not a study of when two parallel universes collide. This album also completes a full circle for Candlemass in many ways, too. It sees the return of the mystery man who did the vocals on that legendary debut album that arrived more than three decades ago. It was shocking news when Johan Längquist was announced as the vocalist on the new album -- an album that was already done with vocals by longtime singer Mats Levén (Therion, Krux). Oh the drama...

But maybe this is exactly what Candlemass needed to get back on track. The band has not been able to really deliver the goods these past ten years or so, in my opinion. Maybe it's because of the lead singer issues that have been tormenting Candlemass for ages. The reunion with Messiah Marcolin back in 2004 went south, Rob Lowe had a great voice but didn't work out as a touring member, and so on. Add main songwriter Leif Edling’s struggles with chronic fatigue syndrome and it is easy to understand that this doomsday machine has not been firing on all its cylinders for a while.

Yet here we are now. The new album is out and it is a grand return to epic doom metal as we know it should be done by Candlemass. I am the first to admit that I was skeptical, as I always am, to these kinds of albums that try to summon the glory of the past by reuniting with old members. But I am also the first one to admit when I am wrong. This is a fantastic Candlemass album.

The Door To Doom by CANDLEMASS

The voice of Längquist has matured as a good wine. It depth and grandeur coupled with attitude and experience. The vocals add that extra drama to tracks like "Splendor Demon Majesty" and "Astorolus – the Great Octopus" (yes, there is a solo by Tony Iommi on this, so another completed circle), but there is also beauty to be had, such as in the epic ballad "Bridge of the Blind" with its echoes of the great old ones, like Dio. I'm glad Johan Längquist is back. His silence has been a waste.

Musically, Candlemass delivers an album that stands proud besides the classic first four albums Epicus Doomicus Metallicus, Nightfall, Ancient Dreams, and Tales of Creation. It measures up to the challenge to invoke the gods of doom in a way that sometimes sends shivers down my spine, as I recall the greatness of this band's early years. It bares the mark of true doom and the spirits of the old classics possess this album. The guitar works by Mappe Björkman and Lasse Johansson are stellar and the thunder of Edling’s bass and Jan Lindh’s drumming is spectacular.

The music bares all the marks that makes up the legend of Candlemass. It is, in the words of the band itself, “the sound of 666.” I already mentioned some of the highlights on the album, but I must also say The Door To Doom doesn't really have any weak spots. All the songs are very strong and the riffing is epic. Despite my skepticism, I got bewitched again.

A great doom metal record, indeed, executed with precision and power. I fully believe this material has focus to make Candlemass relevant as a scene-anchoring act in metal once again and I hope they succeed, because the world needs this band. On the other hand, if this turns out to be the last album by this legendary Swedish doomers, The Door To Doom will also serve as a fitting final chapter in the Book of Candlemass. I honestly hope it’s not.

Magnus is the founder and host of Into The Void Podcast. He is also a senior staff writer at Slavestate.se, one of Sweden's oldest and most important online zines about heavy and extreme music.

☠

An Interview with

Candlemass Co-Founder

  Leif Edling

By Willem Verhappen  

I must say I was very surprised when the new record was announced, since at the time of its release, you said 'Psalms for the Dead' would be the final Candlemass full-length record. What made you change your mind? >

The "House of Doom" single. It was great fun to write it! Also working with producer Marcus Jidell was fantastic. We're quite a team, I must say. There I got the inspiration back for an entire album. We had a couple of band meetings about it and it was very clear that the band shared the enthusiasm for a new record. They had been playing live without me for a couple of years, with good response, but without an album it is easy for you to become a retro band pretty quick. Don't want that to happen to Candlemass.

I see what you mean. It's quite a challenge to stay relevant as an "older" band, especially in this day and age, when everything retro seems to be cool. On one hand you have bands like Priest and Saxon, who are still releasing decent records, and on the other hand there's bands who've been past their expiration date for decades. Do you prefer to see a band over their top or just remember them as they were?

That one’s easy. Remember them as they were. But having said that, it is a joy to see bands like Angel Witch, Manilla Road, Pries, and Saxon today, because they can still deliver. When you can’t deliver the goods anymore, maybe stay at home instead. Hope somebody will tap me on the shoulder one day and say “Leif...It’s time.” (laughs)

"Too many discussions & arguments over the years. Maybe some heart was missing in it all."

Just before the Christmas of 2013, you had a bout with burnout and stepped away from live performances for a while. What made you realize you needed to take a break? How did you get the “fire” back again?

A bit better, but not 100%. I'm still struggling with it. I hope I can do the rest of 2019's shows without too many problems. Have to look after myself, rest as much as I can, eat regularly, not party too much. Well, this is very "rock 'n' roll" to say, but it is great to be back. You have to listen to your body. If it says "rest," you have to step back. If it says, “Go, you can do it,” I hope I can!

I hope so. too. As a diabetic. I know it's sometimes difficult to listen to your body and not get drawn into the excitement of the rock ‘n’ roll lifestyle. Is it difficult for you? What do you do in these moments?

On the Candlemass tour with Ghost, there was lots of partying on the bus after the shows. I was there, but took it quite easy. Went to bed early, but still I felt tired in the morning. So if we go on another tour, I might have to stop drinking totally, to pull it off. Playing live almost every night takes its toll. I’m 50-plus, struggling with fatigue syndrome, on a tour bus to hell -- talk about the wrong man in the wrong place! (laughs) Said "yes" to it instantly, of course.

In 2015, you released Avatarium’s second album, 'The Girl With The Raven Mask.' Was it difficult for you to pick up writing again?

Yes, it was. Well, not super hard. The burnout gave me the time to rest and get new inspirado for songs. In a way, I’m glad that it happened. Think many people just go on and on without taking a break. They just keep on going and get themselves an aneurysm or something. I quit before that happened. Got lots of time to think about future and what to do with it. Songwriting is one part. That Avatarium album is pretty good, I think.

I agree. It's my favorite Avatarium record. But you're saying this like you're not as happy with the other two records. Is that the case?

No. I love all three of them, but the second is the best.

We spoke briefly at Roadburn 2017 and I don’t know who was more nervous, me for meeting you or you for getting back on stage, playing the first ever live show with The Doomsday Kingdom. I remember that you were afraid no one would show up. Luckily, the place was pretty crowded and you guys gave an amazing show. I still get goosebumps when I think of your emotional performance of "The God Particle." How do you remember your return to the big stage?

The stage wasn’t that big (laughs), but it felt rather good. I could have played better, plus it's true I was quite nervous. It was the first small step to a full return, I would say.

In September of 2017, I spoke to Markus Jidell at an Avatarium show and he told me you were working on something very special. This was shortly before the 'House of Doom' EP was announced, so I assumed he was talking about that. Was he or were you already working on 'The Door To Doom'?

We worked on the House of Doom for about six months before we started on the full-length album. If I remember correctly, we started the demoing of the new songs on November 1st. The full album took exactly one year to make. Too long! Next time, I hope I’m better, then I hope we can deliver an album in three to six months. Shouldn’t take more time than that.

Does that mean there will be more Candlemass music coming our way?

Well, eventually. Hopefully!

The only surprise bigger than a new record was the return of Johan Längquist. How did that come about?

During the recording, we felt something was missing. We had too many discussions and arguments over the years -- all of us. Maybe some heart was missing in it all. I'd worked my ass off for this record, but was struggling with my health. Too much work, too much business, too many arguments, too much bull! In the end, we took a band decision to bring in Johan again -- go back to the "ground zero" of Doom, so to speak. Mats had done a great job, but we needed to do something in C-mass to find the spark again and Johan was the answer. Now we focus on having fun, not letting any business take over. I have no clue if it will last a year or two. At least we will enjoy the time left.

Lyrically, as well as musically, I think ‘The Door To Doom’ feels like a very dark record. What were your inspirations while writing this album?

It’s a good thing that people see the albums music and lyrics in different ways. I don’t think it is that dark. We have done darker things in C-mass, definitely. The songs are about the state of the world, how I feel myself during the burnout process, sea monsters, and reflections upon life in general. This time around, I’m pretty satisfied with the lyrics.

"I have no clue if it will last a year or two. At least we will enjoy the time left."

It's no secret that you’re a massive Black Sabbath fan, owning over half a meter worth of vinyl of their debut alone. I can only imagine how special it must have been for Tony Iommi to play on your record. How did that come about and what was it like working with Tony?

We just asked him. Seriously. We asked and got a "yes!" Our manager emailed his personal manager. Couldn’t believe it when we had the positive answer back. I was over the moon. Tony Iommi will play on my song! Hardest thing was to keep my mouth shut for three months. (laughs) But, you know, if you aim for the stars, you might succeed. He sent us the solo after a while and it was absolutely great! A dream came true.

Amazing how easily these things can happen.

Yes, Dio said once in an interview that he would have loved to guest sing on records but he never had the question put to him.

You’re currently on tour, opening for Ghost. When I went to see your show in Amsterdam, I noticed their audience is turning more mainstream. For instance, before your show, I heard someone say: “I looked up Candlemass online. They sound kind of like AC/DC.” Do you recognise this and how have the reactions been so far?

I have heard that we sound like Iron Maiden and Motörhead, to mention a couple. AC/DC? That’s a first. But the crowd reaction for our short set during the Ghost tour has been really good, actually. Better than we expected, so we must have done something right. The reactions for the album have been fantastic. Super great criticism from all over the world. And the Cardinal said to us, “You are special guest on this tour. You’re not the support act.”

With a band like Ghost, I can imagine the touring life is quite the experience. Did you have a chance to interact with those guys much beyond the stage?

Not really, they play a nearly three-hour long set and they take it seriously, as you should. We did have a couple of record hunting trips with the Cardinal that were very pleasant. He is a real vinyl buff, so we raided some shops here and there.

I can only imagine how these raids go about. What's your best find this tour?

The first Steamhammer record. First press on Brain €50. I gave it to the Cardinal after the last show, since we really wanted it, too. He got it as a gift from me, saying thanks for a great tour.

Since you’re a record collector and a fan of old school metal, are there any new bands you’re into that you think everyone should check out?

I haven’t bought a record with a new band for several years. I have no clue what’s going on in the metal world anymore. I just buy old albums. Seems like they knew how to write songs back then. Lost art, unfortunately. Is Blood Ceremony considered to be a “new” band? They are pretty good, I think.

Do you have future plans for the band or will you be shifting focus to side projects like Doomsday Kingdom, Krux, or others?

We just released a new Candlemass album and the schedule for this year is already full, so I won’t have any time, this year anyway, to do anything other than C-mass.

True, your calendar is swelling with the Ghost tour and some festival appearances in the summer. Are there any shows you’re especially looking forward to?

Yes: Sweden Rock, Hellfest, Wacken and, well, all of them! (laughs)

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[doomedandstoned]

French Occultists Hua†a Deliver Cryptic Final Masterwork

~Doomed & Stoned Debuts~

Review by Billy Goate

Think you've heard it all and you're confident about closing the books on 2018 and putting out your best-of lists? I advise you to hold your horses, my friends, because you haven't heard this yet. Get ready for what is without doubt the grandest album of 2018. Guttural rumblings of bass collide with sublime organ tones, shooting holes through the dank chamber like laser rays of radiant sunlight. Soon this feast of sound will be joined by damning riffs and strangely majestic voices that layer melodies in shifting keys, one upon the other, until a spire is created like an ancient ziggurat.

The latest offering by French occultic doomers and Roadburn Festival alumni HUATA is like none other. The band, which recently made an appearance on our 'Doomed & Stoned in France' (2018) compilation, often configures as a five-piece. However, the consistent heartbeat of the project has been founding member, Ronan Grail, and long-time bassist Benjamin Morea -- both of whom constitute the backbone of the now 12-year old act that hails from Rennes.

Long renowned for their stirring live rituals, Hua†a have two extended-plays, two splits, and one previous full-length to their name already, the brilliant 'Atavist of Mann' (2011). However, nothing prepared me for the power of their crowning achievement, 'Lux Initiatrix Terrae’ (2018).

I find myself struggling for points of comparison to entice the reader to become a listener. Shall I draw parallels to the imposing architecture of Ufomammut, the sweeping compositional vision of Slomatics, the ardor of Inter Arma, the airy psychedelic soundscapes of Pink Floyd, the sanguine tenor of Pallbearer, or the harmonic resplendence of Chrome Ghost? At the risk of losing some of the faithful doomers, the most fitting association to the size, scope, and most importantly spirit of Lux Initiatrix Terrae comes not from the realm of metal, but from the world of classical music. I'm thinking of one ambitious work, in particular: Ferruccio Busoni's massive Piano Concerto in C Major, Opus 39 -- one of the most ambitious works ever written in its genre class. Like Hua†a, Busoni laced his work with cryptic references to the occult, ancient orders, and esoteric knowledge.

I hasten to add that Hua†a's magnum opus is not symphonic metal, though "symphonic" seems a most fitting adjective for it. Let's think of it as a rhapsodic fantasy marrying epic and gothic doom to atmospheric, surreal heaviness, whilst subtly flirting with spaced-out domain of psychedelic and occult rock. Some tracks ("The Golden Hordes Of Kailash," for instance) usher in surreal scales and unusual chord progressions that remind me of the creepy grandeur of the mutant worship service in Beneath The Planet of the Apes (1970).

This modern day Tower of Babel aspires to reach the heavens with a power, elegance, and resolute will encountered so rarely in the realm of metal or, for that matter, anything else across the many genres of contemporary music. During its exalting 70-minute run-time, I felt I was bearing witness some incredible modern cantata. This was more than my usual audit of a new promo; this was an all-absorbing listen and an altogether moving experience.

After hearing this record, I'm convinced that Hua†a have definitely given Batushka a run for their money at Psycho Las Vegas over the summer. No Vinyl Stage for these guys, though. Take them straight to The Joint, fellas! A sounds this large is worthy of the same immense theater that brought us Enslaved, SUNN O))), Godflesh, and Indian this year; Candlemass, Yob, Electric Wizard, and Sleep in the years prior.

I've been avoiding using well-tread power words like epic in much of my reviewing this year, but it's time to pull this one off the shelf. This is a special occasion, for Lux Initiatrix Terrae is the band's final work as Hua†a -- an emphatic punctuation to a long and fruitful career. You'll not encounter a band as fascinating as Hua†a or an album quite as majestic as the one before us this year, perhaps not even this decade. Make no mistake, Hua†a's strange, bold chef d'oeuvre will be discovered in this crowded year of excellent releases and, with any luck, reach wide appreciation. At the risk of sounding orgasmic, this record is a triumph.

Right now, you can sample two singles from the album -- its opener, "The Mystical Beast of Revelations" and the third track, "The Solar Work." Both will make you hungry to hear this regal heptad of hymns in all its fullness. On November 23rd, Hua†a's Lux Initiatrix Terrae will see a physical release on a very limited run of 200 cassettes via Sludgelord Records and Seeing Red Records, with vinyl available via French label Music Fear Satan.

To satiate the appetite while we wait, Doomed & Stoned is pleased to bring you the record’s finale, "Third Eye Nation." Though belying in the trippy ambience of its opening moments, the 16-minute monolith soon overtakes the soul.

Give ear...

Lux Initiatrix Terrae by Huata

Interview by Shawn Gibson

with additional question by Billy Goate

Recently, I sent away for Hua†a's new cassette and can't wait to get it! I already have 'Open the Gates of Shambhala' (2010) and 'Atavist Of Mann' (2011), but 'Lux Initiatrix Terrae' (2018) is my first preorder. I must have listened to album's opening track, "The Mystical Beast Of Revelations," four of five times in one sitting already. I play it as loud as I can during my daily commute. It's an amazing song that takes me to places not of this earth! The vocals sound different than the first two albums. The music sounds more sharpened and honed, though still very much the Hua†a we know and love. The organs add to the uniqueness and mesh well with the heavy, doomy vibe of multi-faceted gem of doom, ritual, occult, and psych metal. It was high time we interviewed the band, I thought. Following is my recent exchange of words with , in which they take us behind the veil of secrecy for a rare look at the musical minds that make up Hua†a.   (Shawn)

☿

I used to have a radio show and played "Diving In The Swamp" and "The Imperial Wizard," which I absolutely love. Your new album comes out on November 23rd, which happens to coincide with a full moon. That's a great time to release an album, intentional I would imagine. I'll make sure to listen to 'Lux Initiatrix Terrae' under the light of the full moon and be transcended!

Ben: Thank you for those kind words. We like "Thee Imperial Wizard," too. It was a good song to play live, really deep and slow, as we enjoy.

Who is presently in the band?

Ben: I play bass in Hua†a and also guitars on Lux Initiatrix Terrae, plus fx and synths. I am responsible for a lot of the musical arrangements and composed both the music and lyrics with Ronan.

Ronan: Currently, Ben and I remain in the band, but the last album was recorded with David Barbe on drums and Gurvan Coulon on organ. At this point, we must say it's hard to hold Hua†a alive. We've had a lot of lineup changes. As the founder and last remaining from among the original members, I played with dozens of guys. I don't feel proud of it at all and I can't deny the help and devotion we had from many of the former members. I just wish I had not to deal with these lineup changes.

"At this point, we must tell the truth. There won't be Hua†a anymore."

So Hua†a is now a two-piece? What does that bode for the band's future?

Ronan: At this point, we must tell the truth: there won't be Hua†a anymore. This album will come as a posthumous album. This is due to musical disagreement and I now realize why many bands used the same argument and how it's difficult to explain! I personally don't want to stop playing music like Hua†a, because it's a strong thing I need to do in my life. Like, making it real, see? The thing is, Benjamin is at least as much in Hua†a as me and I can't deny it. So what I want to do now is make music again and all the ideas that could help me to make music like Hua†a did would be welcome.

Ben: As Ronan says, we weren't on the same page, musically and emotionally speaking, anymore after 10 years of doom worshiping to continue this project. We started to write this album in 2013, record it in 2015, and release it in 2018. This lapse of time weighted on us very much, in terms of how we wanted to continue this band. Our wills, visions, and expectations have changed throughout this hiatus and this split is for the best. Now I'm focusing on my other project, Fange, which grew up fast and good, as well as a new experimental hip-hop act called Bienveillance.

Lux Initiatrix Terrae by Huata

Who did the artwork for Lux Initiatrix Terrae?

Ronan: Ben has done all the artwork in Hua†a, from our first release onward. He did all the T-shirts, too, all of Hua†a's imagery remains his vision.

Related to that, when you’re not making music what do you like to do?

Ben: Creating visuals, having nice drinks and meals with friends, playing board games, watching the NBA, and listening to music, obviously.

Ronan: I am currently training for adults undergoing kite to become a Cook. I had a lot of jobs before. I'm like a regular guy; I like to eat, to drink. I like those good things we can take in this world, as I tend to be epicurean. For example, I like to drink and discover a lot of IPAs.

What's a damn good book you've read?

Ronan: I am now reading, again and again, 'The Morning of The Magicians' (1960) from Bergier and Pauwels, and I can tell that the power of this book remains in the themes it tackles. Hörbigers’s Welteislehre, especially, retains my fascination.

Ben: 'The Morning of the Magicians' is definitely inspiring and so is 'The Secret Doctrine' (1888) from Helena Blavatsky. A few books from Robert Charroux were also big inspirations for us in the writing of Hua†a's lyrics and philosophy. Otherwise, ‘2001, A Space Odyssey’ (1968) from Arthur C. Clarke is brilliant, as is the Kubrick's movie adaptation, my favorite of all.

What makes you laugh?

Ben: Monty Python, The IT Crowd, Black Books, Ricky Gervais, etcetera. English humor is the very best. Ace Ventura is also one of my favorites, along with Les Visiteurs.

Ronan: Monty Python! I love the absurd humor.

I love to cook and eat. What are some good French foods you love?

Ben: All of it, man. Don't mess with French people about food. This is more than a cultural institution here; it's a freakin' religion! (laughs) French gastronomy is a masterpiece -- from meats, cheeses, and wines, to fishes and seafood, to even offal, snails, and frogs. All are great, without mentioning the quality of our pastry. But if I had to choose one stuff it would be the bread. Everywhere else's bread is shit.

Ronan: (laughs) Well, I'm actually learning a lot about this topic, as a future Cook. I'm now attending to make a "Poulet vallée d'Auge," a chicken flamed with calvados -- yummy! -- cooked with onions, fresh cream from Isigny, mushrooms, cider, and all of this with roasted potatoes and a good Merlot from our many varieties of wine grapes.

What are your influences musically?

Ben: The first bands I ever listened to as a child were Magma, Frank Zappa, Pink Floyd, and a lot of '70s rock, thanks to my father, so these records really influenced my musical approach. Black Sabbath is the obvious one, because I'm devoted to the art of the riff. Also John Coltrane, Karlheinz Stockhausen, John Zorn, and Trent Reznor are some composers I really admire, among many others. But for Hua†a, my influences were much more from the '70s psychedelic era than the doom-stoner one.

Ronan: I hear from my childhood rock, blues, folk and pop music. I'm not that much into metal music; I mean, not all of it. I'm now exploring some progressive rock music.

Hua†a is from Rennes, so I'm curious about some of the bands from area that you guys dig?

Ronan: I love Eat Roses. What they did was so deep and beautiful. Totorro also does good music. I'm not that much into thrash or death metal, but Hexecutor or Cadaveric Fumes are doing an excellent stuff. And the wave of garage rock bands -- I'm from Rennes -- is quite cool too, I even found Le druide du Gué Charette, which is from this wave and also wear monk robes like we did!

Ben: Eat Roses was the best, but DEAD and You, Vicious! are also quite good in the post-punk scene in Rennes, along with my mate, folk singer Dany von Del Baüt of Malaad Roy, and Straw Hair, who play hip-hop.

How is the metal scene in Rennes?

Ronan: There are the Roazhon Underground productions, Black Karma's new festival, and of course the "Tendresse et passion" scene. A lot of foreign bands visit the Mondo Bizarro or Terminus bars.

Ben: There was a big hardcore scene in Rennes in the late-'90s 'til the mid-2000s, but the metal scene didn't really grow up here. Can't say that there are obvious bands or venues, except the Mondo Bizarro, to really federate everyone, but some promoters are doing a good job to make it live.

What has been an awkward moment as a band?

Ben: Too much to remember, but most of them were more funny than weird moments, which makes good anecdotes, at least!

Ronan: There are so many I can't tell!

Your music has always had religious overtones, thematically and especially instrumentally -- namely through the use of organ. Do any of you have background in Christianity and Catholicism? I'm imagining, perhaps, the music of the cathedrals of your childhood, the grandiosity of the organ music there.

Some of us have been baptized and/or followed catechism class as children, but this has nothing to do with our reason for using an organ in our music, even if we are very impressed and enjoyed by organs in churches. There is nothing about religion in Hua†a, but there is spirituality and the will to cite many cults and convergences between ancient beliefs and occultism throughout history.

For this recording, what did you work with, organ-wise? It sounds like one of those incredible, elaborately piped church organs.

We would have loved to record a proper piped church organ, such as the one you can see on the alternative cover of Lux Initiatrix Terrae, but as with previous albums, we just recorded with a 1961 Hammond Organ -- which actually was used in a church in Brittany, back in the day. We chose to add an organ to our music because of our '70s musical background, but you're not completely wrong by saying that the majestic tones and serenity brought by the organ tones fit well with our musical purpose!

I'd love to probe the depths of each song, because I'm sure there are all kinds of fascinating details there our readers would love to know about. That said, I can understand if the band desires to preserve some mystery and leave it to the prerogative of the listener to search these things out. Certainly there are many rabbit trails to explore, not the least of which is the band's name.

Our lyrics and universe are very deep, indeed, and we do like to let our audience get into this if they want to. There is a big part of our work which remains hidden -- that's the purpose of the occult. To be honest, only a few really dug the lyrics, which are written in an ancient German code in our records, so you have to unscramble them in the graph way and by their meaning and references.

That is truly fascinating. Also, I noticed there were quite a number of contributing artists credited on the record.

We have had so many musicians throughout the years that it might be difficult to follow, I admit! We recorded Lux Initiatrix Terrae with a proper line-up, but summoned several extra-musicians to help us in expanding our musical palette. Their collaborations were even very mysterious, as we didn't meet in person with any of them -- except Laetitia, whom Ronan knows. They all recorded their own parts. We've only reached out to them with ideas of what we wanted and they managed to write what we were expecting.

I imagine there was a deliberate rationale for this?

Nothing extravagant, I'm afraid. They were just living in different areas of Brittany and the recording process took place in several spots over a two-year period. But it definitely fits the purpose not knowing who they are and having no interactions with them.

Not to end on a sour note, but I’m saddened to hear this is perhaps Hua†a's last album!

The decision to split apart was quit recent, but we were already in a hiatus for three years and no ceremonial activities in four years. As you may have gathered, we're a bit outside all these preoccupations we had back in the days, but it's always interesting and a pleasure to picture the whole frame of Hua†a with new disciples!

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