#can’t exactly erase trauma

[rt-closetcryptic]

How does Dogday view Kickin and Catnap?

In short, Dogday currently views Kickin in a good light! He however is greatly worried about him and the slight changes he shows. Not to mention the peg leg-. For Catnap, he’s not exactly happy that he’s around. It stresses and irks Dogday. Especially since Catnap and the minis are the reason why he ended up in two to begin with…

It’s going to be a long and bumpy ride.

[thefirstlioveyou]

the one thing that reassures me that mike is actually gay is because fans were right about will being gay.

before season 4 (specifcally part 2), even suggesting Will could be gay struck fans’ nerves so deeply. It was so weird.

The ‘Will being Gay’ theory during S3 era and its reaction was horrid.

im gonna be completely honest with you, i was not a byler back then. i was a melvin because if everyone else is rooting for it, then it had to make sense, right? i was younger and lacked lots of media literacy, then on top of that internalized homophobia.

however despite me being a melvin shipper, i never really cared for byler or byler shippers. but i did notice how people would react to it

this is exactly how it went during S3 era:

“i think will is secretly gay and likes mike.”

“umm.. what? 🤣 the lgbtq community is getting out of hand now. will is NOT gay. he is traumatized from being in the upside down, he lost his childhood. he misses his best friend and feels left out that they all have girlfriends and are growing up. why do you people see two boy characters and immediately assume they are gay? boys can’t even be friends now because of you people. not everything has to be gay. youre erasing will’s trauma. also, hes 13 YEARS OLD! thats disgusting calling him gay.”

people who believed the theory were called delusional because god forbid there just be even a little chance of a character being… [shutters] gay…

and guess what? this theory ended up being right in the end. the clues and subtext they found that pointed to will’s sexuality that were deemed delusional and ‘manipulating the narrative’ were RIGHT.

the ‘Mike is Gay’ theory is supported with evidence found by the SAME people who guessed Will’s sexuality right. fucking hell, theres even triple the amount of evidence for mike than there was for will. (will was more explicitly implied… yet still so ignored… wonder why… homophobia)

the similar theory is recieving the same reaction as the Will one.

THATS why i don’t doubt mike is gay. the cycle is just repeating.

[artheresy]

I can’t stay quiet about this, I need to scream it to SOMEBODY ANYBODYYY

Dan Heng and Blade were Dan Feng and Yingxing. “Dh and Bld are Df and Yx!” Nope, their current selves aren’t them, that lacks nuance. “Dh and Bld aren’t Df and Yx!” THAT ALSO LACKS NUANCEE they are still connected and fundamentally shaped by their past identities, they aren’t entirely separate from them while also still being separate in a way. The best way I can describe it is like a venn diagram, there is overlap, but there also are still areas where they don’t.

To expand more, I wanna talk about the way they foil each other a bit in this sense. For Dan Heng, even if he is a botched rebirth, simply a “de-aged Dan Feng” not fully reborn, he is still not Dan Feng. While Dan Feng has made up the basis of his personality and he accepts him as his past, I think we forget that Dan Heng had his own entire childhood after the molting rebirth was completed. One he spent imprisoned by the Ten Lords Commission, and then he was exiled when he was old enough leading to his whole journey until he became apart of the Astral Express crew etc etc. Dan Heng is made up of a basis of Dan Feng + All of his own memories and experiences. While he shares traits with Dan Feng such as personality aspects like his stubbornness, his technique with a spear, and being able to connect with his old items, he also is very much himself with his own outlook and traits shaped by what he’s learned rather than what he has been born with. To treat him as if he is Dan Feng exactly is a disservice to both of their characters and the greater narrative that they apart of. He may still carry the burdens and karma of Dan Feng, but Dan Heng is still making his own future.

Now, Blade. Blade similarly is not Yingxing, not completely. Though he accepts Yingxing’s sin as his own and is intent of repaying the sin of Dan Feng and Yingxing (and getting Dan Heng to repay it too), there still are distinctions between him and Yingxing. In fact, I’d argue there are more things separating them. I could talk for so long again about the layered use of craftsmanship to connect, or rather disconnect, the two identities of Blade and Yingxing, but there’s more than that. “Now, ██ had died. His first — and only — death.” “From this moment on, that body will be the one and only "Blade."” Although Blade was Yingxing, a disconnect exists between them through the death of Yingxing. He awoke with no memories of his past, no even his name, until Jingliu came along, instilled in him her ideologies, made him remember, not only his past sins but the feeling of death so that he might inflict it onto others. As she said, he was reborn and had even given himself a name…

I want to add that the specific ways in which their current identities exist in proximity to their past ones foil each other. As I said, Dan Heng, in part as his sabotaged rebirth, is built upon the foundation of Dan Feng and all of his own experiences and memories. He has the capacity to gain back more memories of Dan Feng as his DH IL character stories outline, and though he is still himself and still moves forward, we see him accept his relation to Dan Feng eventually. Though that past life of his is clouded by fog and mist, he may eventually be able to push away the clouds that block him and understand more, about Dan Feng and in turn about himself. With Blade, it is so heavily emphasized in game from his relic lore to the very sword he uses that his mind is essentially broken, due both in part to the trauma of Jingliu’s “teachings” and the mara that was brought on by those lessons. He can’t fully remember everything about Yingxing, in fact actively remembering such or seeing familiar things is harmful to him. Like his shard sword, he is made of broken pieces, put together in a way that can never erase the cracks, and continuously shattering before being glued together again. His life is shaped by Yingxing’s past, the trauma he has endured is directly caused by his past actions. Unlike Dan Heng, he hasn’t had this whole life to build up and live. Though he’s experienced new things, they don’t shape him and change him in the way that Dan Heng’s built his identity up.

Where Dan Heng basically has supplements to Dan Feng’s identity that make him who he is, Blade is the broken shards and pieces of Yingxing that weren’t lost to the waves, making him who he is. Dan Heng is a next chance, finally free from the Preceptors’ control and of the role that stripped his past selves of their individuality, meanwhile Blade is the husk left behind of Yingxing’s regrets, broken by trauma caused due to Yingxing’s past actions, forever tormented by his past until he inevitably is able to die. If Dan Heng is more than just Dan Feng which is why he is separate but intertwined with him, than Blade is less than Yingxing, in a way that has caused such a severe disconnect that has caused Blade to have his own identity still shaped. And looking at this, not to again bring up my craftsmanship post about Blade, Dan Heng can connect to Dan Feng. He can clear the fog, remembering his memories through dreams even if he can’t fully connect emotionally to him, and he finds sentiment in many of items that once were his, smth not many Vidyadhara actually are capable of doing. To contrast, Blade is forever separated from connecting completely to Yingxing’s identity. His memories will always be fragmented, his own path entirely changed. He can’t connect to Yingxing’s past goals and passions, seen through the distinct decision made in his character stories to talk about how he can no longer use his hands to forge weapons (something that completely defined Yingxing’s life and legacy, tied to his childhood trauma and hatred of the Abundance, something that became his genuine passion), and how none of that mattered to Blade.

All of this, the ways they foil each other and the separation between their past selves and current, just makes me love their dynamic and their lore a lot. Makes me want to cry most days of my life if I’m honest. And it’s part of why I do take issue with the way nuance has completely left this argument, only having two extremes of “Dan Heng is Dan Feng!” Or “Dan Heng isn’t Dan Heng!” Again… Dan Heng WAS Dan Feng, he wouldn’t be Dan Heng without Dan Feng, but he is still himself. That’s part of the tragedy between them. They are still fundamentally defined and shaped by their past selves, similarities able to be spotted if they can be remembered, but they’ve also experienced so much that has changed them, and they can never truly go back to being Dan Feng and Yingxing. It would never be fully the same again.

[televisionlassie]

“I’m not including duke because I don’t know how to write him 🥺”

He was introduced a decade ago, how have you not learned how to write him? Jon Kent was introduced AFTER Duke yet he gets FAR more attention from writers and the fandom.

I noticed years ago that this fandom has a problem with their POC characters where they’re either ignored, whitewashed, or villainized.

Both Damian and Dick are POC characters but this is often ignored or forgotten despite the fact that their childhood is shown with them having a connection to their culture. Other times they are both villainized for their actions against the white male characters in the bat family (specifically Tim AND Jason).

Duke is RARELY featured in any fan works despite becoming an integral part of the Batfamily. He’s been in a Batman movie (batwheels) and he’s been a focal point in the Wayne Family Adventures series (I’d argue the main character but I can’t say that)

What really pisses me off is that Jason Todd is glorified in comparison to the POC characters. In the comics Jason is NOT a good person, he literally kills people with no regard for how that will affect other people. He continues to try and hurt or kill his “family” members. His trauma is an explanation for this behavior but NOT an excuse, yet the fandom treats it as exactly that. There’s a whole deeper rant for me to give about my issues with how Jason is treated but the main point I’m trying to make is that Jason (a canon white man) is forgiven for all his actions despite showing no change and clearly not learning from them, but characters like Dick and Damian are not given any grace for their actions in a comic series from the 90s.

Can someone explain to me why Tim Drake would forgive Jason Todd, who tried to brutally murder and ridicule him, but not Dick who suggested he get therapy?

I’m tried of how Dick and Damian are treated by the fans of Tim and Jason but I’m especially tired of how Duke is completely erased from the family even though he’s been there for 10 years.

It’s so frustrating because this isn’t just in the Batman fandom or even just the DC fandom but EVERYWHERE, take a look at any show, book, comic or whatever form of media. Now take a look at how fans treat the POC characters. A few that come to mind for me are, Lucas from stranger things, Jal in skins, Sam Wilson, and I know some people might find it ridiculous but Ravi from Jesse (honestly his treatment among the writers and audience set the Indian community back).

There is such a simple solution to this problem, take the time to reflect on yourself as a person, think about how you felt about that one POC character that you thought was so awful. Think about what they did that made you feel that way and think about how you would feel if your favorite character had done the exact same thing. Knowing your bias is the first step to eliminating it.

[blindbeta]

Hello, I hope you are well. The main character of a book I'm writing is blind and I want to make sure I'm not being disrespectful.

He's had both retinopathy of prematurity (stage one) and recurring glaucoma that have left him with 20/200 vision, photosensitivity, and trouble processing visual information. He can see pretty well for a range of around six feet, eight if he really focuses (which he rarely does because doing it too much will give him a massive headache and exhaust him.) He doesn't have a cane, as he's spent his entire life in the house (long story short, he's adopted and his birth parents kind of want him dead) and he doesn't need it when he already knows where all of the obstacles are, but he does have a guide dog (she's mostly for his mobility issues and physical disability, but she can also do guide dog stuff.) When the story begins and he has to leave home and go into an unfamiliar situation (boarding school when he used to be homeschooled,) he couldn't bring his dog with him and didn't know a cane was an option, so one of his friends, the only one who already knew he was blind, has been subtly guiding him. He hides his blindness at first, not sure if revealing the information could put him in danger, but eventually the other characters find out. They do initially get kind of protective, but they quickly find out to not do that because if they tell him he can't do something, he'll do it anyway just to prove them wrong. He really wants to be independent and hates it when people assume they know his limits better than he does and they try to tell him what he can and can't do despite his objections.

(The character also has Williams Syndrome, epilepsy, intellectual disability, PTSD, IED, and a major injury that renders one of his legs near useless. He uses a modified cane in place of his leg as a weight-bearing limb because working with crutches wasn't possible with old breaks in his arms.)

He's transgender and in a relationship with three other characters (all aware of each other and all fine with polyamory,) two guys and a girl. One of the guys has some trauma-sourced physical disability, CPTSD, and kleptomania, and the girl has NPD and CPTSD. They all love each other very much and all put in the effort to make their relationship work. He also has two sisters who are also blind (all three of them were premature and the glaucoma is genetic,) one who's completely blind and one who has a little bit of light vision, and there are a few other blind and low-vision characters.

Here's the problem, it's his magic. I kind of added in the blind detail after deciding his magic, and I'm worried it could accidentally count as erasing. He can shapeshift like his older sister, but neither of them use it to fix their eyes because it's a massively complicated change and because they've been blind their entire lives and their brains wouldn't really know what to do with enhanced vision. And then he has an energy ability. He's always been scared of the energy ability because he nearly killed his adopted dad with it, but one of the other characters, not knowing he's blind, recommended trapeze to help him get used to using it, because he can sense things through sensing the kinetic energy. This is only used to help him get used to his power and he only uses it for trapeze (he saw it and fell in love with it before anyone could tell him not to. With a bit of adaptive technology for his leg and small, humming sound devices, each at a different pitch, on every trapeze platform, he actually does really well at it,) but does it count as negating his blindness? He can't really see with it, it's closer to hearing a projectile coming close but not being able to hear exactly how far away it is.

(These are more minor details, but there are also other details in the story about his blindness- his adopted parents got him a Braille printer and translated a few books for him, and then his younger sibling decided he liked typing on the Braille printer and started translating a bunch, so he knows how to read Braille and has a massive collection of Braille books because they're easier for him to read. He also uses voice-to-text and text-to-voice on his phone and laptop. One of his friends gets him a bunch of talking technology, like a clock that tells him the time when he presses a button, and some things like oven rack covers and colour-coded kitchen utensils, and another friend takes notes for him using those 3D ink pens so that he can easily translate them to Braille and have his own notes to study.)

Thank you for running your blog, your posts have been a great help

Photophobia, Service Dog for Someone Who Can’t Leave Home, Multiple Disabilities, Choosing Accommodations and Assistive Technology, Giving Gifts to a Blind Person, and General Blindness Stuff

This post is a big one. If you are not the asker, feel free to use the big text titles to explored the subjects that interest you. Additionally, please forgive any lingering typos in this post. I did my best to address them all, however they may still occur due to the length of this post.

-

I tried to address as much as I could in your ask. Please let me know if you have more questions.

Photophobia, Health Care, and General Advice for Writing About Blindness

I can see how staying in the house all the time might lead to an even bigger increase in photophobia when venturing outside. Even if he has a backyard he can use safely, I imagine being in the outside world regularly would exacerbate his photophobia. If you plan to give him sunglasses, be sure to connect them to the photophobia and have him remove them on occasion, such as when indoors. This post might be relevant.

I’m assuming he has access to reliable medical care, considering all his conditions. Blindness generally requires regular optometrist visits, particularly for glaucoma. Same for epilepsy. He may also want psychotherapy treatment for PTSD, adoption and childhood trauma, and managing other symptoms that come with his disabilities. Since he has access to a computer, virtual therapy and virtual check-ups are possible. That said, certain testing or treatment cannot be conducted virtually. I am not familiar with weight-bearing prosthetics, but he will need to be fitted for that as well and have access to help with up-keeping it. You probably don’t need to spend a lot of time on this subject, although considering it may add realism or relatability to your story. If he takes medication for epilepsy, pain management, or if he’s on testosterone, access to medication should be considered as well, both at home and the boarding school.

For his difficulty processing visual information, he might benefit from using a screen-reader, audio descriptions, and audiobooks. He might like the tactile sensation of Braille since you mentioned Braille books. So a Braille display might be more beneficial than a Braille printer and more effective considering cost and physical space. He can get Braille books from plenty of programs, so he won’t go without, supplemented with audiobooks and the Braille display as he gets older. I have seen Braille printers at schools. Not so much in homes. Although I suppose people with access to Braille printing at school would not have much need for them at home. This might be different if he and his siblings are homeschooled.

I suggest considering what options he and his siblings prefer and why. What makes sense for their home, finances, school needs, reading needs, writing needs, and personal preferences?

For school work, slate and stylus or computers are also options.

Braille literacy is declining. I’m honestly happy to see Braille mentioned at all. These are just extra topics to consider.

You also mentioned he can see about 6 to 8 feet in front of him. I think you’re on the right track with mentioning that he doesn’t try to strain himself. A lot of blind people with residual vision are expected to use and even rely on it. Because seeing is effort for us, this can be exhausting or even painful. Eye strain is real thing. Feeling tired from using your eyes a lot, such as for reading or navigating dim, unfamiliar spaces, can cause eye strain.

Other than that, I suggest focusing less on his exact level of vision and more on using techniques to make his life easier. More on how blindness influences and enriches his life. Maybe he uses lamps instead of harsh over-head lights. Maybe he has his screen-reader read an article to him instead of having to stare at his phone. Maybe he cuddles his guide dog when it rains and his old breaks are aching. Or maybe he has brightly colored kitchen stuff to increase contrast while he cuts veggies or bakes muffins for his family.

Needs for a Service Dogs: O&M Skills and Getting Out of the House

I can also see how the lifestyle and limited mobility, exercise, and access to healthcare would influence his other disabilities, including his mobility concerns. Having a service dog who can act as a guide as well as provide stability sounds helpful. Although I wonder how training with his service dog would go, given that 1) he would need to have proficient O&M skills, including cane skills, before getting a guide dog and 2) guide dog applications require not only training with new guides, but also routes that are traversed regularly.

The Samsung Guide Dog School in Japan lists this requirement here which reads:

“There should be a daily destination to maintain activity.

School → Student, Working place → Worker or Self employment

Other social activity → Homemaker, Freelancer”

Guide Dogs of America also lists a similar requirement in this list of qualifications here which reads as follows:

Are you legally blind?

At least 18 years of age or older?

Have you completed orientation and mobility training?

Are you physically able to walk one or two miles a day?

Do you have three or more routes you walk on a regular basis?

Financially able to appropriately care for a guide dog?

Additionally, this section refers to the necessary O&M skills, particularly navigating and cane skills I mentioned earlier: “Orientation and mobility is training that visually impaired individuals receive that helps them confidently navigate the world. O&M focuses on things like sensory awareness, spatial concepts, relationships which exist between objects in the environment, searching skills, independent movement, sighted guide, protective techniques and cane skills. Every potential GDA student must submit an O&M evaluation before being accepted into our program.”

With these qualifications in mind, consider these questions and how your story can explain them. He may not need to walk exactly one or two miles a day, nor does he need to go far with his guide dog. Even walking to a general store, the vet clinic, and a neighbor’s house would work. As I explained in my post about canes and guide dogs, financial concerns also vary as well, with some schools covering all veterinary care and others only covering some food for when the dog and handler leave training. You can get flexible with whatever fits his situation best as long as the general outline is there regarding training, routes, exercise, and care for the dog.

Some things about training to consider are:

How did he get the service dog and train with her if he can’t leave the house? If he needs to stay inside for safety reasons, a program that allows him to go away and train with his service dog might actually be to his benefit. Or he could choose a program that includes training in his own home and community, depending on if it is safe enough from the people who want him dead. While a lot of programs that I can find include training at a specific location which the guide dog handler travels to, there are some programs in which trainers go to the handler instead. For example, Sadi the Blind Lady discusses this type of training with her guide dog in this video here.

As for development of cane skills, he would need to spend at least some time outside, such as when learning to cross the street safely. This would also require at least some exploration outside even with an instructor meeting him at his house. Traveling to other indoor areas to practice navigating is important as well. For example, my indoor cane skills involve finding and using escalators, elevators, stairs, and ramps safely. Finding landmarks is also a useful skill. He can use some of his residual vision for all of these tasks, along with his cane.

Exercise and routes for guide dogs are also important. These are big dogs that need at least some time outside. Most programs want a handler walking a few routes daily or a few times a week.

I can’t speak for other types of services the dog in question is trained to do, but I know that some guide dogs are also able to provide stabilization for DeafBlind handlers.

My suggestion for all these concerns would be to either come up with a reason he is safe in his general community or an area around his home rather than only inside. This might allow him to learn O&M skills, train with his guide dog, and go on short walks.

I am imagining a quiet village or perhaps a community that is secluded. Perhaps he lives in the mountains or the forest. Even a rural area could give him a little more freedom to leave his house without risk.

One last point I wanted to mention is that the requirements I listed above suggest handlers should be 18 or older. However, some schools accept 16 and older. Some accept handlers as young as 13. I’m less concerned about the more common age requirement so long as service dogs are portrayed accurately.

The Boarding School and Mobility Aids

The boarding school should allow the service dog, as service dogs can go anywhere. I also feel that him not knowing a cane is an option is confusing, especially given that cane skills are a prerequisite for guide dogs. Forgoing a cane and his dog also reduces his independence both as a blind person and someone with mobility issues. This, coupled with a drastic change in living situation, lifestyle, and amount of socialization, could be challenging. If used for plot reasons, this could be effective for creating emotional and physical struggles. However, it may be quite a lot for what sounds like a story already filled with different problems to face.

In my opinion, going into an unfamiliar situation without his usual mobility aids would probably cause additional strain. Instead of having a familiar dog by his side, he would go into this situation with no source of familiarity. Therefore, a guide dog there might help him in several areas, while also leaving his blindness less obvious than it might be if he used a cane. This is because canes are meant to be indicative of visual impairment in addition to mobility tools. Service dogs, on the other hand, can be utilized for multiple purposes, as is true with your character’s dog. This means that if your character does not want to disclose his blindness, which he is not required to do, he can explain that the dog is a service dog trained to provide assistance for various disabilities. As far as other characters know, these tasks could be anything from stabilization, medical alert, retrieval, or psychiatric support.

This post on service animals might be of some use.

This post I made about mobility aids might also be helpful.

The Spectrum of Blindness

I like that you have a few other blind characters, displaying the spectrum of blindness and different experiences. I wonder what mobility aids the other characters use.

Boarding School Accommodations and Assistive Technology

If he isn’t sharing about his blindness, how does he do schoolwork? I mention this because of little things that come up in classrooms, such as print being too small on exams, teachers writing on the boards without verbalizing, or students needing extra time. Eye strain can also be a concern in classroom settings. If he can talk with his teachers about accommodations he may need in order to do his schoolwork, this might help. He doesn’t necessarily need to let anyone else know unless he chooses to.

Conversely, you could also show the difficulties of not having accommodations or not having them fulfilled properly. The frustration, confusion, and helplessness often felt in these situations could be relatable to readers. Eventually, he could receive accommodations and advocate for himself, displaying the difference accommodations make. These can take the form of teachers and friends helping him in ways he would like to be assisted.

Accommodations put blind students on an even playing field. As long as you don’t normalize not having them, you’re probably good going either route. I wanted to include my thoughts here just in case, as you only mentioned a friend taking notes for him.

About note taking with a 3D pen—I’m not sure if that would work for notes. 3D pens are fun to use for drawings and art, but the ones I used weren’t very reliable, plus there is the size of the letters to consider. 3D letters are meant to be tactile, which means they would need to be larger than usual. This means reading an entire page of notes might be challenging.

He might be better off using other options, such as large print, for notes, particularly notes for maths or other materials written on the board that are not said out loud by the teacher. In this case, the notes his friend takes might be supplemental, with him taking his own notes by listening. He has a few options for this, including Braille, a laptop, or recording lectures. Since you mentioned he has a laptop with a screen-reader, he can probably use that with headphones. Refreshable Braille displays and note takers are also options, although they cost money. Typically they are provided by schools, governments, or scholarships.

When choosing assistive technology, consider his personality, his level of vision, how comfortable and knowledgeable he is with Braille, and how comfortable or uncomfortable he is with potentially standing out in some way. I’m not sure if at this point he’s still hiding his blindness or being open about it, but if he wants to hide it or avoid standing out among his peers, he might choose something like large print, a laptop, having a friend help take notes, or a combination thereof. Of course, if he has trouble processing visual information, large print might not be an option. In this case, a laptop with a screen-reader would allow him to take his own notes as well as read any that are emailed to him. If you go with him hiding his blindness, a laptop is probably the best option.

If he is comfortable with others knowing about his blindness, he might be more likely to use a Braille note-taker with headphones. He can also use a combination approach depending on his needs as well. For example, maybe he also records lectures because he is a slow note-taker or he gets distracted easily.

So far, you have a good use of assistive technology and Braille so far. I do wonder how he and his siblings learned Braille. Did an instructor come to their home to teach them as part of their homeschooling?

Some Thoughts About His Friends Helping Him

Other characters assuming his limits is pretty true to my own experience, as well as the reverse, such as people assuming he can do things that are actually hard for him because they can’t relate to his amount of vision. Vision can also change depending on environmental factors, lighting, fatigue, stress, eye strain, or anxiety.

While I don’t have a problem with friends making the mistake of being overly protective of blind friends, I think it is important that the behavior is also addressed and changed. His friends are not more knowledgeable about what is safe for him than he is. They are not more knowledgeable about what he can do than he is. [Bolded for emphasis.]

I also wonder, why hide his blindness and not other disabilities? Is it because blindness is a bit easier to hide than the others?

Consider how his various disabilities interact with each other. For example, blind people and people with cognitive disabilities are often infantilized, which can make advocacy difficult.

Lastly, you mentioned his friend subtly guiding him, of which I feel wary. If he asks his friend to do so, that would give him more agency, if you weren’t already alluding to that.

Oh, and another point I wanted to mention is that you have a lot of disabilities represented, some of which are highly stigmatized. Consider finding a few sensitivity readers for those as well, such as CPTSD, cognitive disability, and NPD, or at least the things you don’t already have personal experience with. @sensitivityreaders is a good place to start, as well as conducting general searches on tumblr and twitter.

@cripplecharacters is also a great resource for writing disabilities. Check out their master-posts for sure.

Avoiding Erasing Blindness Wth Shapeshifting and Energy Abilities, Plus Blind Person Learning Trapeze

The shapeshifting and energy stuff don’t seem like erasing blindness as far as you have described them here. Since one of your characters also has difficulty processing visual information with his residual vision, that means that the overwhelm would double for him. This isn’t even considering his photosensitivity. Additionally, eyes are complex structures, so messing about with them is probably not advisable if you don’t know what you’re doing.

Also, disclaimer, I know nothing about trapeze. The set-up your have sounds plausible to me, especially if you throw in magic. My main concerns are about possible light sensitivity from spotlights or light changes, as well as his stability problems making trapeze more arduous for him.

A quick search online brought up two blind trapeze artists: Sarah Houbolt and Rachael Storey.

As long as you can make trapeze accessible for him, you’re probably fine. Relying on audio and energy cues sounds like a good way to do that, as well as following regular procedures for training and safety. If anymore more familiar with trapeze can help, feel free to do in the notes and OP can contact you.

His Friends Getting Him Blindness Stuff Feels Off to Me

You mentioned that his friends get him stuff for cooking. Is he also cooking for himself at the boarding school?

A talking alarm clock and a Braille watch might be useful for school.

My only concern about his friends getting him such tools is that sighted people usually don’t know what is available, let alone where to order these items. Doing so could show that they paid attention and were proactive about doing their own research. However, what tools help can depend on the person and it might be important to establish that he expressed wanting certain items already.

Some blind people enjoy receiving blindness stuff as gifts. It shows the giver put extra consideration into choosing it. However, some blind people are sensitive about receiving items that specifically relate to blindness, unless they communicated wanting it beforehand as a gift option. Personally, unless I specifically asked for something Blindness Stuff TM, I would feel strange if a friend showed up with a talking alarm clock and gave it to me. This might be because I would rather something more personal, less utilitarian. Also, when sighted people talk about accessibility tools with me, I have usually already heard about it, didn’t want it, or already have it. The exceptions to this are if I, for example, want money to go toward something like an expensive Braille display. Or one of my blind friends gives me something I’ve been talking about for a while. With the exception of Braille cards or considering general accessibility where possible, none of my blind friends have gifted me Blindness Stuff.

@askablindperson made a video about giving blind people gifts that might also be useful. It captured some of my awkward feelings related to receiving blindness stuff. Link here.

My last suggestion for increasing general accessibility is to watch blind content creators, such as on this list linked here.

Closing

There is quite a lot to chew on in your ask. I tried to address everything. Please read any notes that might be added with anything I missed. I would also highly suggest a few sensitivity readers for the blindness and guide dog aspects.

I hope this helps.

[thescarletkiller]

The aftermath of the Mikaelys Family

[Since I made a blog for this AU now, I might as well post my headcanons here instead of sending them out to a different blog]

This takes place after Francis’s execution/after Anastacha murdered him (one of the few bad endings). Just to clarify that while Francis does have a few good endings with his family, this post focuses on the bad ones.

Even after he’s arrested in the Asylum ending, Francis will haunt Nacha and Anastacha literally and metaphorically

I don’t think Nacha and Anastacha will recover from all this

It’s like the premise of the novel Rebecca, where the mother and daughter are haunted by the traumatic memories of Francis. And a bit like Wuthering Heights where Francis’s ghost will come to visit them from time to time to haunt them outside their window. (Can you tell I’m interested in gothic fiction?)

After their ordeal, Nacha and Ana would develop PTSD. It’ll be hard for them to trust people again. They’re more anxious of their surroundings and remembering the thought of Francis will send them on an anxiety attack and constant night terrors.

They can’t see milkmen or dairy products the same way ever again.

It’s a long path of mental recovery for both mother and daughter. They’re the closest they have for support. They stuck together during the difficult times they experienced together.

If they’re encouraged to seek therapy or if they can afford it, they’ll do it together. Or in the Asylum route, they can finally get the courage the confront Francis and cut him off (which leads to his schizophrenia ending). It would be a huge weight lifted off their shoulders. Sure, they’ll heal as long as they need to but that doesn’t erase the horrible trauma Francis inflicted upon them.

What it means for Anastacha:

Whether or not we’re going by the route Anastacha killed her father, the love and respect she felt for her father turned to immense fear, betrayal, hate and sadness

I hc she was just 10 or 12 when it all happened. It was a lot for her to take in that her father turned out to be a monster.

She was just a kid. She couldn’t understand why her previously loving father turned crazy and restricted her and her mother’s freedom. How could her father who loved them so much became so controlling and possessive over them? If her father loves her mother so much, why would he kidnap them, tie them up and try to chop off her legs?

Anastacha tried asking herself these questions for the longest time. She thought that if she could understand the reason behind her father’s actions, if she could see the logic behind him, she can make sense of her father and her own trauma. That doesn’t mean she can forgive for everything he’s done. She knows her father loves her and Nacha in his own twisted way but no matter how much love he had in his heart for them, she believes what he had done is wrong. Nothing justifies keeping his own family hostage.

Once she learned her father is a serial killer the whole time, this newfound knowledge would worsen Anastacha’s fear and shock for her own father. She knew he was a bad person for what he’s done but she didn’t think he’d be an absolute monster.

After learning this shocking revelation, Anastacha became afraid of becoming exactly like her father one day. And if she were the one to kill him, the guilt would weigh heavier on her. She didn’t want to kill again and become a murderer like Francis.

And so Anastacha avoided getting close to anyone for a long time to avoid getting hurt or avoid hurting anyone herself, including her new classmates in her new school. When someone asks about her father, she pauses, hesitates at first before saying “my dad’s dead. Whatever.” (Can be true in the literal or figurative sense). And if anyone pries further such as “how did your dad die?” Ana would withdraw from the conversation and refuse to elaborate further. She would also drop out of a conversation when the topic is about fathers.

Since Anastacha takes after Francis a lot (like his eyes, tired demeanour and the “mmm” verbal tick), she feels disgusted and scared of the fact that she’s gonna look like him when she’s older (like how Francis couldn’t look at himself in the mirror because he looks too similar to his father). She tries not to say “mmm” though it’ll slip out accidentally out of habit, which causes her to bite her tongue out of frustration. When she’s older, she’d use makeup to hide the bags under her eyes so it won’t look like her father’s.

Whenever her mom is having panic attack or night terrors, Ana would wake up in the middle of the night just to comfort her. The same happens for Ana as well. At this point, both mother and daughter have became each other’s support system.

Every time she dreams, it was always about her father keeping her and her mother hostage or her father spiraling them down to hell with him. She has countless nights of endless nightmare. She couldn’t get a wink of good sleep after everything.

Sometimes she could feel her father’s presence looming over her, even if he isn’t actually there to begin with. If she did end up killing Francis, her guilty conscious will manifest into a ghost of him, whispering unwanted thoughts into her head about how he killed her or giving her urges to kill, which leads to her screaming that she’s never going to be like him or throwing/breaking stuff.

She and Nacha become each other’s support system now. They’ll cry onto each other for comfort after a ptsd flashback or confide in each other now that they barely trust anyone but themselves now.

If Anastacha got the help that she needs, she’ll slowly regain her trust in people again. She can begin to open up a little and start making friends. She’ll be cold, distant and touch averse when she grew up but she learned how to be empathetic and understanding towards other people no matter their circumstances.

For romantic relationships, I’ll just say that Anastacha isn’t interested in finding love. It’s not just because I headcanon her as a romance-repulsed aroace, it’s also because she doesn’t want to hurt any potential partner she may have. She believes she needs a long time to heal if she can settle down (which she probably never will).

She’s not used to showing affection to anyone else besides her mother because remembering the suffocating way her father smothered them with affection makes her sick to her stomach. She also doesn’t like being touched by strangers and would tell them off, even coming off as rude if she does so.

When it comes to her close friends however, she would allow them to hold hands and occasionally accept hugs from them but that’s just about it.

Since her past had affected her so much, Anastacha questioned why people behave the way they do. What drives them to do bad things? What causes people to become the way they are? That’s why in the future, she studied to became a psychiatrist. Needless to say, her mother is extremely proud of her.

She chose this career path because she wanted help anyone going through trauma, mental health issues or difficult circumstances. She wants to give people a chance at recovering so they won’t have to go through what she experienced in the past with her father.

It was rewarding for her helping people on the path to recovery, especially if they’ve been in toxic relationships, domestic violence situations and/or suffering from mental illnesses. After rationalising what she’s been through in the past and understanding her father’s psyche, she can use it to help her patients.

I also like to imagine that Anastacha uses music to cope with her negative feelings and trauma. She grew to have a preference for heavy music like rock/metal/punk so I can see her picking up guitar or drum lessons during her teens to vent her anger out. And maybe in her 20s to 30s, she’ll form her own death metal band as a side gig and release an album about the shit she went through as a kid. Nacha would prefer that her daughter should do more ladylike hobbies but whatever helps her cope.

Also, Anastacha would likely visit her father at the asylum once she became a trained psychologist (assuming he didn’t die or escape and track them down).

Francis: Anastacha? Is that you? *gasps* IT IS YOU! Haha…I CAN’T BELIEVE IT! ANA! IT’S YOU! MY LITTLE GIRL! I thought I’ll never see you again! And you’ve grown! You’ve grown up so fast!

Anastacha: *unfazed* hello Francis. It’s been a long time. And don’t call me your little girl or whatever.

Rather than a friendly father-daughter meet up, Anastacha would visit her father to get answers out of him, not just closure from herself but she wanted to understand her father better.

Francis: sweetie, why can’t you understand. I love you and your mother so much. All I wanted was to protect you both from this rotten world. But you both ran away from me? Do you even know how hurt I was? You both left without a word!

Anastacha: then tell me. If you love us so much, why would you keep us away from everyone like we’re prisoners? What good is protecting us when you wanted to cut off mom’s legs? How is that part of our ‘protection’ or whatever?

Eventually it got to a point where Francis tell his daughter about his past. Or when Ana tries not to break down and lash out in front of her father for all the terror he caused. She eventually came to understand why her father became the way that he did. Due to the abuse he experienced as a child, he developed extreme loneliness, abandonment issues and an anxious attachment disorder. Due to losing a lot in his life, he has a strong fear of losing the ones he loves. So by keeping them with him, he won’t have to worry about them leaving.

And yes, Anastacha does acknowledge that her dad loves his family in his own twisted fucked up way. He never cheats on Nacha, he provides for them both and he has shown his affection to them (in the most suffocating way possible). But does that mean she forgives him? Of course not! There’s nothing he can do to erase all the harm he caused, especially after he tracked them down and tried to chop off Nacha’s legs as a last resort to keep them as his ‘family’.

There’s still a part of her that feels sympathy for her father. Not for the man he is now, but the boy he used to be. She just wished he could’ve gotten the help he so clearly needed before he became a monster. Then he could’ve been a father that she could love again. This only drives Anastacha further to help anyone in abusive situations, so they don’t end up like her dad.

Even if Anastacha did try to reason with Francis and break through his delusions, he’s beyond fixing at this point now that he’s murdered so many innocents. It’s simply too late.

Francis: mmm, so you won’t forgive your father?

Anastacha: hmm, I would. If you didn’t become worse than your own father.

If Anastacha went to visit her father after she and Nacha confronted him years ago, this would be a different story. Once she learns that her father has been now reduced to a catatonic, empty husk of a person he once was, she would be horrified yet pitied the state that she’s in, even though cutting him off was the right choice. He’s too far gone now.

No matter how deep Francis is in his deluded state, she’ll try to get him to come to his senses.

Francis: …Ana?

Anastacha: Francis?

Francis: mmm…Ana? Is that you? My little girl?

Anastacha: yes Francis. It’s me.

In this route, Anastacha didn’t get the answers she needed but she’s left to fill in the blanks herself. She told Nacha all about it.

Nacha: what? What happened to him?

Anastacha: Francis is gone. He’s schizophrenic. No matter how much I talked to him, he barely recognised me. *sighs* Whatever. It’s too late. There’s nothing I can do.

Anastacha’s fear of her father is diminished though the hatred is still there. In the end though, she doesn’t completely hate her dad. She can never forget what he’s done but a bit of that hatred has turned into understanding for his part. She’ll visit Francis until the day of his execution and she’ll cry along with her mother once he dies. Now, that the source of all their trauma is gone, they’ll be relieved yet it doesn’t feel like a victory. All that leaves her and her mother is a deep hollow feeling. It’s still gonna take a long time for Anastacha and Nacha to recover from this.

This, this starts a new chapter in Anastacha’s life now that Francis is dead. She’ll heal on her own one step at a time. Eventually, she can find peace for herself and her mother.

What it means for Nacha?

Nacha won’t be doing so well either.

After her husband has been arrested/killed, she’s been haunted by the memory of him. All of the happy memories she had with him had been poisoned after he kidnapped her and attempted to chop off her legs. She couldn’t believe that the man she married turned out to be a monster. Finding out that her ex husband is a serial killer made her fear of him much worse.

She became really anxious as a result such as reacting violently to sudden noises or being too wary of her surroundings. Her imagination is running wild because she’s afraid Francis might pop up and take her hostage again.

Like Anastacha, she would get countless nightmares about Francis holding her and her daughter hostage. Or dreams about Francis as a demon locking her in a gilded where he plans to do all sort of stuff with her. (@hellosweetart iykyk)

All his lovesick words, his possessive touches, his presence, everything about Francis just gives her goosebumps but in a frightening way. He’s became a ghost of her past and he’ll haunt her for the rest of her life.

Nacha doesn’t trust herself to get close to anyone now, let alone get married to someone new. Not after what she’s been through with her ex-husband.

Thankfully, she has her daughter in her life for emotional support. She got separation anxiety if she’s left in a room alone so Anastacha had to check on her often. Thankfully with therapy, she’ll gradually be able to handle being alone in a room by herself. Though for her mother’s sake, Anastacha promised to live with her mom when she’s studying in college or when she’s finally working to support her emotionally and financially. If she has to move far away for her job, she’ll bring her mom along with her.

After getting into therapy, her emotional and mental state has improved. She still haunted by the memory of Francis and still dreams of him but she tries not to think of him much now.

Nacha prefers calm, quiet peaceful sceneries like the one in the countryside to clear her mind. It makes her feel at peace with herself and the world.

She cooks and bakes more as an outlet. Cooking has always been her passion now she holds onto it more than ever. She doesn’t make beef stew and strawberry cheesecake as much anymore, because those are Francis’s favourite dishes he makes.

And once Anastacha becomes a psychologist, she’ll help with her mother’s therapy as much as she can. Nacha’s proud that her daughter has got a good job that helps people, including herself. She does feel guilty about having her daughter be her personal therapist now but Anastacha assures her she’s cool with it and she doesn’t want her to suffer again.

Years after years of reflection, Nacha’s feelings for Francis become complicated. She loved the man who loves and cherishes her as a person and a wife. Not a lot of the men she used to date did that. But the moment her husband’s love turns extremely obsessive and she found out that he’s a monster in human skin, she began to fear what Francis will do to her and Ana. Yet her love for him still remains. Even though his methods of caring for them are suffocating, Francis works hard to provide for his family and he loves them unconditionally. Her immense fear of her husband clashes with the love she has for him. It’s just that her fear has overtaken her and she chose to run away, understandably so.

And after Francis traumatised her, her immense fear and trauma overwhelmed any love she had for him. Nacha just wants him gone from her life after all he’s done. She just wants to forget about him forever. Any mention of Francis or any reminder of him is enough to break her down.

Anastacha gives her updates on how Francis is doing in the asylum. She told Nacha everything, how Francis was an abuse victim growing up, how his mental state is, how he’s sorry and misses her and wants to see his family again.

Now Nacha is conflicted. She’s obviously terrorised by him and resents Francis for traumatising them. She can never forgive that. But a part of her still does care for him. She knows it’s a wrong feeling and she tries to deny it but after hearing about what Francis can go through, she does feel sympathetic for him. If things hadn’t gone down that badly, she wishes she could understand him better and questioned why he became that way. She still misses the happy family life they could’ve had together and the pleasant loving moments they used to have. But it was too late.

If this is the schizophrenia ending, Nacha would be horrified to learn of the current state her ex-husband.

“What?! Oh dear god! What happened to him?”

Even due to her trauma, she would still feel sympathetic to hear that Francis has been reduced from a homicidal maniac to a broken shell of a man. This is why watching his execution wasn’t easy for her either. She had to watch her formerly dangerous husband who was never saved put to rest for good. Nacha knew Francis had to be put down for good. It’s for the best. She’ll finally be free from him yet at the same time, she isn’t either. Like her daughter, Nacha couldn’t totally hate Francis in the end. She knows she still shouldn’t have feelings for him but it’s a complicated case for her. She couldn’t tell why. (Ana makes sure she doesn’t tell Francis this. She doesn’t want her father to win. He doesn’t deserve that).

That’s why after Francis’s death, there is no victory for them. On one hand, they’re relieved but mostly, it has left the mother daughter duo this empty feeling that will stick with them for the rest of their lives.

But even after Francis still haunts her long after his death, she’ll still be on the long road to recovery with her daughter. She won’t be alone in this. One day, she gets to find peace for herself.

“Goodbye Francis.”

Francis’s Ghost

Now we get to the part where Francis haunts his family literally. This can happen after his execution or if Anastacha kills him. He died but he didn’t leave.

Francis’s ghost doesn’t get to rest in the afterlife, not after he murdered so many innocents. His soul will dwell in the astral realm but he’ll come back up the earthly realm to wreak terror amongst the living.

He’s a vengeful ghost that scares people in their nightmares and he’ll keep killing more people by controlling inanimate objects (specifically any sharp weapon) and murder them through his usual methods: mutilating their body until they die in a pool of their own blood.

There’ll be news reports around town about several suicide/homicide cases that seemed too similar to the Scarlet Killer’s modus operandi. The police and investigators are baffled as to what caused this? Could it be a doppelgänger or a new killer that mimics the Scarlet Killer’s methods. A popular conspiracy theory says that the Scarlet Killer manages to escape death and is still alive and at large.

Unfortunately, Francis doesn’t stop there. He haunts Nacha and Ana too, just to see how they’re doing and to watch after them after his death.

He’s the protector and the tormentor at once.

He’ll look over his wife and daughter’s very presence, making them feel fear for their every waking moment. In reality, Francis just wants to be with them, even though they would prefer to be left alone.

Francis also does his job of protecting them by fending off doppelgängers, creeps, thugs, anyone that dares to hurt them. Now they wonder what kind of invisible force is helping them.

When he haunts Anastacha, he just looms over her very presence, watching her go about her daily life. If she’s the one who killed him, Francis honestly doesn’t bear any grudge against his daughter for killing him. He acts like some sort of intrusive thoughts echoing in her head.

If Anastacha can sense her father’s ghost, she will break out in cold sweat and beg him to leave her alone. She’ll constantly apologise to him for killing him, over and over again until she begins throwing stuff at him.

Ana: stop it! STOP IT! I’M SO SORRY FOR KILLING YOU DAD! I DIDN’T WANT TO DO IT! PLEASE DON’T HURT ME AND MOM!!

Of course, Francis could never bring himself to hurt his own daughter. He just doesn’t like how she screams at him when she’s around. Whenever Anastacha begins crying, he’ll be the one who comforts her, even though he’s delusional to the fact that he’s the one causing her problems and Ana tried many times to shoo him away.

If anyone’s bullying Ana, Francis would not hesitate to kill them. Now, Ana questions why her bullies don’t show up the next day.

Francis also haunts his wife’s very presence too. Whenever she’s alone and in her dreams. He’ll always whisper to her that he’ll always love her and that he’ll be with her even after she dies.

Nacha is obviously not ok with this. “PLEASE! LEAVE ME ALONE FRANCIS! I DON’T LOVE YOU ANYMORE!!!”

But no matter how much she protests, Francis can never leave her alone. They technically never divorced nor did Nacha initiate a breakup with him. But even if she did, that doesn’t matter to Francis. He’ll always be her loving husband even after death.

Soon it got so bad to the point Nacha and Ana had to consult spirit mediums and exorcists for help. They were able to ward off Francis’s ghost for a while with dreamcatchers, holy water and crosses. But it won’t be useful for much long. Francis is a persistent man.

Every night, whenever Nacha and Anastacha look outside at the cornfields or moors, they could see Francis’s ghost waving at them from afar.

Or whenever they sleep at night, Francis’s ghosts will be tapping at their window, begging for Nacha or Ana to let him in. Just like in Wuthering Heights where Catherine’s ghost can be seen outside the window.

“Nacha…Sweetie…it’s me…Francis…i’m at your home…I’m so cold…let me in your window…please…I’m so cold, dear…”

Now the both of them barred the windows shut, draw the blinds and lock their doors whenever they sleep. And no matter how loud Francis knocks at their window, they’ll keep ignoring it until they can finally sleep.

And they don’t dare to go out in the middle of the night, knowing Francis is out there.

I know I said Nacha won’t find another man after Francis but on the off chance she did, Francis WILL NOT be happy about it. How dare that vermin steal his wife away from him?! He’ll find a way to get Nacha back.

Much to Francis’s surprise, it turns out he’s more powerful than he can imagine. Not only is he able to control inanimate objects, he can possess people too.

“HAHAHAHAHA! Oh my god… I never knew I could do *that*! I know exactly how I can use this!”

Now let’s say Nacha is on a date with a new man. And after they pulled away from the kiss, the voice of Nacha’s new partner gets layered over Francis’s voice and their eyes morphed into Francis’s tired ones. Horrified, Nacha began screaming at the top of her lungs because she realised her ex husband is back and has possessed her new partner.

“What’s the matter, dear? It’s me! Francis! Hahaha! Don’t tell me you forgot about your husband and replaced me with this fucking maggot?! Hahahaha! How hilarious! Don’t you see darling? I’ll never let you go as long as I’m here! And I won’t let some pesky vermin get in the way of our love!”

Worst case scenario is that Francis chases Nacha and Anastacha in the moors using Nacha’s partner’s body. Or! Francis being the vengeful spirit as he is makes Nacha watch as he mutilates her partner’s body himself while he’s still possessing them and die in a pool of their own blood as a lesson to never pursue another partner ever again.

But that’s just a hypothetical scenario.

Pretty soon, they can’t take it anymore. After Francis has haunted them so many times, it becomes maddening! That’s when Nacha and Ana took matters into their own hands.

The detectives still interrogate the Mikaelys family regarding the Scarlet Killer case. They mentioned that the few surviving victims recalled seeing a ghost with dark hair with black hollow eyes and mouth before blacking out.

With that new information, Nacha tells the detectives that they keep seeing Francis’s ghosts every night. At first, it may sound incredulous to believe but considering the victims’ first hand accounts, the detectives are now inclined to believe them.

The detectives concluded that the Scarlet Killer’s ghost is after his own family, so they instructed the mother and daughter to go the abandoned mansion in the middle of the woods because that’s the best place to exorcise ghosts, which the two of them believed.

So Nacha and Ana have a new plan. They brought everything they need to the mansion and waited until night time for Francis to strike.

Once Francis’s ghost arrives, they opened the window. Now, Nacha and Ana did everything in their power to fight him. But Francis’s ghost is getting more difficult to exorcise. Soon, they ran out of luck. And a blinding white light consumes them.

When the two of them woke up, they realised they’re in a dark, empty zone. Soon, they both discovered that they’re in limbo, which is a border to the astral realm.

Nacha: oh no! NO NO NO NO NO! This can’t be happening!

Anastacha: we’re not dead or whatever? Are we mom?

It turns out the detectives were in cahoots with the DDD all along. And since they needed to stop the Scarlet Killer’s ghost from wreaking anymore havoc, they hatched a plan on how to get rid of him for good since the Mikaelys family are his targets. (Afton is also in on the idea).

So they tricked Nacha and Ana by pretending to help them all the while they planted bombs outside the mansion Nacha and Ana were in. And once they failed, they detonated the entire house, instantly killing those two.

Now that the Mikaelys family are both dead, the Scarlet Killer’s ghost won’t bother the living anymore and pursue after his family.

Speaking of, you can imagine how ecstatic Francis was when he found out Nacha and Ana are in limbo.

“SWEETIE! ANA! YOU’RE HERE!”

Much to their terror, Nacha and Ana tried to escape from him again but there’s nowhere to run when they’re in limbo. They’re stuck together for eternity.

All they can do now is accept their fate. At least they have company.

“Finally…we can be together again.”

Note: originally, I was gonna have Nacha and Ana confront Francis at their own house and they talk it out. But that was anti climatic so I had help from @hellosweetart to help me write that last part. Thanks so much.

[howlsofbloodhounds]

Hey, I love your post and this is a little silly but who exactly is Stage 4 killer? Is he an empty vessel that only responds to orders?

Grr I love Stage 4 I would absolutely love to talk about my interpretation of it if anyone wants to hear about it. I mainly see Stage 4 as driven by Determination, purpose, and existential horror/dread/fear.

It thinks it absolutely must fulfill its purpose, always always always, or something absolutely horrid and awful is going to happen—in timelines where Killer has killed Chara.

Turning on Chara was absolutely incomprehensible for Stage 4. It can’t imagine ever ever doing that, or wanting to do that. It’s basically the height of blasphemy, and it just can’t wrap its mind around the idea that Chara could be gone when it stills hears Them and feels Them watching. Judging, angry, mad.

In this timeline, Stage 4 is filled with dread. A overwhelming feeling of failure, that it must make up for by killing killing killing. Destroy everything, tear down the entire world. Be Their avatar, even.

Make Them happy. Make Them happy and beg for forgiveness and They’ll come back to make things make sense again.

Basically. Stage 4 is looking for Chara.

Which is why I think the locket is the only matter of throwing it out of this Determined kill streak and attempts to Erase entire timelines and worlds, as They want. You can not reason with Stage 4 unless you first have the guts to attempt to control it.

Which you can only do by attempting to affiliate yourself with one of the worse versions of Chara. Which good luck attempting to do anyway, as every other Stage of Killer will resist you on every turn.

Stage 4 could attempt to be more than what it currently is. It just doesn’t realize it can, nor that it has any right to. Stage 4 would have to be helped by professionals in a safe environment, both for itself and others.

(Although admittedly I do like playing around with various interpretations, although this tends to be the interpretation I go with when I think of how Stage 4 is in the current “canon” context—such as in the Stage 4 comic. Its current thought processes and how detached it clearly is from the present situation Killer is in.

Stage 4 holds a lot of beliefs behind its motivations that many would consider delusional, but are driven by extreme trauma, dissociation, fear, and beliefs Killer has been led into believing.)

{ @raining-asteroids }.

[strawberrybuni]

GOOD LITTLE GIRL

Pairing: Vampire!Dabi x Fem!Reader Summary: You just can't help but develop feelings for the vampire who's taken interest in you, regardless of his red flags. Word Count: 2K CW: suggestiveness, biting

Most would probably call you stupid, and you’d agree with them. After all, what business did you, a simple human, have with a vampire who could kill you in a second? That’s what you asked yourself every night you venture down that familiar path into the woods where you’ll spend your night as you usually do with him, Dabi, a no good vampire who took what he wanted when he wanted.

You were always taught growing up to stay out of the woods, that creatures of the supernatural lurk within them. You were told horrific tales of people who were gravely injured by these creatures, or just never seen again. They weren’t kind to humans and wanted nothing to do with them. But, there must be exceptions to the rule, right? If there wasn’t, then why did Dabi seem to have taken such an interest in you ever since the night you two met?

Meeting him was completely by accident, as things tend to be. You were only supposed to be a meal for him. Just another girl alone at night going home from work, perfect for the taking. However, when some random man tugged you into an alleyway with ill intentions, he couldn’t stop himself from coming to your rescue, making a meal of the man instead. Of course, he could’ve just killed you right after as well, but for once he didn’t feel the desire to do so. Your scent made his head spin in a way he’s never experienced. So, he let you go. But it was far from the last time you had seen him.

Dabi had tracked you down with your scent, requesting that he let you inside after you had opened the door. “It’s the least you could do for the man who rescued you, doll.” He told you back then. Everything in you told you to not allow him into your home. While yes, he did in fact come to your aid that night, that doesn’t erase the fact of what he is. He’s still a dangerous vampire who could drain you of your blood at any given moment. But, against your better judgment, you let him inside. That was only the first night of many as you got to know him.

He’s a man with a lot of trauma and isn’t exactly the friendliest person on the planet. The most jarring red flag of his is how he hunted humans not just for food, but for sport as well. Draining the life out of a human gives him a power trip that he’s far too addicted to to ever consider stopping. Over time, you came to learn why he despised humans with a passion, and after learning about your past, you can’t really blame him. They’re the reason for his burns.

He was just an innocent child curious about the world and humans. As a kid, he harbored no inherent ill feelings towards humankind. However, the humans he attempted to befriend didn’t feel the same, attempting to burn him alive, calling him a monster. By some miracle, he survived with permanent scarring on his body and a deep rooted hatred for humans.

Yet here he was, feeling anything but hate for his favorite little human.

“Took you long enough, doll. Thought you were gonna forget about me” His smirked as he took a drag from his cigarette, stolen of course. “What took you so long?”

“Believe it or not, Dabs, but I have a life outside of seeing you. Be lucky I come out here to see you twice a week.” You playfully sass as you approach him. “Mm, you should feel lucky I continue to allow you to see me twice a week.” He retorts, blowing a bit of smoke in your face.

You coughed, waving a hand in your face, glaring at him with irritation when he laughs. “If that’s your way of saying you’re gonna kill me, you’re full of shit. You would’ve killed me months ago if you were gonna.” He hums in thought. “Maybe I like playing with my food sometimes, it makes the meal even sweeter.”

He always messes with you like that, taunting you with threats of doing to you as he has done to so many others. You never buy any of it though. He’s never even tried taking a sip of your blood, yet he claims he’s going to take it all one day? Yeah, sure buddy. You weren’t scared of him, and he liked that about you. You were so fearless, so confident, even on the night you met. You put up such a fight, ready to even fight him after he had helped you out. He thought you were cute, interesting, and something new to be addicted to.

He offered his cigarette, taking another drag when you denied his offer as you rolled your eyes. “Yeah yeah, whatever. You know, it would be nice if for once you could come to see me instead of me having to venture all the way out here to see you.” You huff, causing him to smirk. “Aww, is the little princess inviting me to her place? So forward, I like it.”

“That is NOT how I meant it.” Your face flushed at his insinuation, what a perv. “You sure about that, princess? We both know you like me.” 

“And what gives you that idea?” You scoffed, feeling your heart rate slowly picking up.

“Well,” He started, dropping his cigarette before rubbing it into the dirt under his boot. “That little blush of yours gives you away fine enough. Even without that, I see the way you look at me when you think I don’t notice. The way you bite your lip, or stare for a little too long. I hear the way your heart races if I get close, or..” He trails off, pushing himself off the tree, in the blink of an eye spinning you so that now your back is against it as he cages you in with his body, his head dipping so his mouth is near your ear, his voice dropping to a low tone. “When I speak to you like this. There’s gotta be a reason for it, right? This couldn’t possibly all just be some coincidence, now could it?”

He wasn’t wrong, and you hated that fact. You’ve fallen for him pretty hard, even when you know that he’s bad news. He preyed on your kind 24/7, how could you possibly date someone who wouldn’t bat an eye killing your friends and family? Maybe it was the danger that excited you, the risk giving you an adrenaline rush like nothing else. You just couldn’t help yourself, not with the way he’s worked his way into your heart all while never overstepping his boundaries over these past few months. However, he wanted more.

You tried to think of some sort of rhyme or reason as to why he’s wrong, but you knew him well enough to know he can see directly through you. Lying was something you never could do with him. He always seemed to be able to call your bluff, much to your annoyance. He had just as much of an affect on you as you did him, and it’s causing you to slowly give into him.

“Well?” He asked after a few moments of silence.

“And what if I do, huh?” You ask frustrated, masking any signs of shyness with irritation.

“Then that means,” Dabi moves down to your ear, his breath warm against the sensitive skin. “I’m gonna have to mark up this pretty neck of yours.” If you weren’t blushing before, you sure were now. “Huh?”

He chuckled, pulling back and lifting his head so that he could look down into your eyes. “Come on, dolly, what did you expect? That I’m not gonna put my mark on a pretty little thing like you to show everyone that you’re mine?”

“And when exactly did we establish that I was gonna be yours, huh?” He rolls his eyes a bit at your stubbornness, but then smiles almost politely. “You’re right, my bad, let me ask you the right way.”

One of his hands comes up to your chin as he takes it between his index finger and thumb, tilting your head up slightly. He studies your face for a few moments in silence, his eyes trailing down to your lips. He remains silent as he runs his thumb across your bottom lip. He was only adding to your nerves. You swear he knows exactly what he does to you, that asshole.

His eyes trail back up to look into yours, a smirk gracing his lips before he speaks. “Will you be mine, Y/N?”

You took your bottom lip between your teeth, chewing on it while your mind spins from thoughts flooding your mind. You knew you shouldn’t, you really really shouldn't. That you should just stop seeing him all together. But you just can’t help yourself as you nod, causing his smile to turn into a smirk. You were ready to take on whatever consequences that come from being his.

“Good girl.” He praises, closing the distance between you two as he leaned in, pressing his lips to yours. Dabi started out slow but passionate, almost sweet in a way. You let him take control as your lips move in harmony with his. You can’t help but melt at the way his other hand slips behind you, caressing your lower back as he presses you closer to him. 

He then presses kisses along your jawline, down to your neck as he begins to kiss and suck on the delicate skin. Your body shudders each time you feel his fangs graze your neck. Even though he has never bitten you, it didn’t stop the occasional thought popping into your head about what it would be like if he did. Would it hurt really bad? Would it feel weird? Would you like it? With the way he's loving on your neck, it was only making you want to get the answers to your questions even more. Just the same way he’s been dying to know what you’ll taste like.

“Can I?” He asks, his lips now hovering over your neck, his sharp fangs teasingly grazing your skin once more. You hummed in approval, but he tutted in response. “Ah ah, pretty girl. Be a good little girl for me and use your words, yeah?”

“Y-Yeah um.. You can bite me, Dabi.” You stutter out shyly, your mind and heart completely mush from his words.

“That’s it.. atta girl, you’re so good for me, ya know that?” He places a kiss on your neck before gently sinking his fangs into your flesh.

You’re sweeter than anything he’s ever tasted. Just one taste and he already feels like he could get drunk off you. As for you, his bite stung at first, but with the way he’s sucking on your neck, all you feel is pleasure. Small whimpers began to fall from your lips as he drank from you, his hold on you tightening ever so slightly. A sort of possessiveness was beginning to course through his veins from your sounds, you driving him insane.

He finishes drinking from you, licking the excess blood before placing a tender kiss on the bite mark. “You did so well for me, doll.. such a pretty little thing.” He murmurs, inhaling your scent for a moment before pulling back and standing up right, cleaning off any blood from his lips with the back of his hand, feeling a sense of pride seeing his bite mark on you. “So beautiful.. Why don’t I take you on a proper date tomorrow, hm? We can’t do normal human things, but I sure as hell can show you a good time.”

“I’d love that.” You smile. You knew this isn’t going to be an easy relationship by any definition of the word. It’s going to be complicated with plenty of obstacles you two will have to work around. But you’re more than willing to try and make this work. 

“Oh, and doll? Maybe I will start coming to your place instead. So we can be more.. comfortable with some privacy.” He smirks, laughing as you hit his chest with a whine at his comment. “What?? That’s what you wanted all along, wasn’t it?” He teases.

Oh yeah, he’s going to be the death of you, one way or another.

[frogletscribe]

Until It Doesn’t Hurt

Chapter 13: I Wanna Be With You

Summary:

20 years since the RDA was pushed off of the moon of Pandora, they are back once more. The RDA thinks their only problem is the traitor Jake Sully and his family, but as it turns out, Jake wasn’t the only ‘problem’ left behind 20 years ago. 

Anthe was a child soldier, stolen from their home and forced to learn the ways of the humans, erasing any of their connections to the Na’vi from before. Finally free from the RDA’s hold after being trapped in cryosleep, they're about to make themselves everyone's problem.

---

A reunion

_____________________________________________

Pairing: Aged Up!Neteyam X Nonbinary!Na'vi!OC (OC and Neteyam are both around 20)

Warnings: Mentions of Past Violence, Mentions of Past Trauma, Mild Claustrophobia, No Use of Y/N, Blood, Self-depreciation, Neglectful Parenting, Suggestive Themes, Mutual Pining, Hurt-Comfort, Found Family

WC: 3245 words. AO3 Link Here

A/N: New working computer is finally here and I can actually be productive again! I can also finally play A:FoP, and have been doing so lol. At this point, its safe enough to say this fic follows a uh, different TAP facility, not the same one in game. Either way, I am still working on this, even if updates are slow.

Also thank you so much to everyone liking and reblogging my art! I really appreciate the support!

{ } indicate speaking Na'vi

Masterlist

Previous Next

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The sky was a dull grey as Neteyam sat with his siblings and Metkayina friends on the beach, finally finished with their chores. Tsireya warned them from swimming out too far, the storm brewing on the horizon making the waters currents unpredictable. Tenak had left in the early hours of the morning, just as the first rays of light peaked from behind the evening's eclipse, promising to return with Anthe and Spider as soon as he found them. If he even could. 

Neteyam did his best to stay upbeat, rough housing with Lo’ak and Ao’nung as if the previous day's events hadn’t shaken him. As if the photo of Anthe wasn’t burning a hole in his pouch pocket at his side. Kiri still watched him with poorly hidden concern, but for the most part, Neteyam was able to tamp down the lingering ache in his chest. It was getting well into the afternoon now, the fog previously lingering on the darkening horizon, now slowly crawling towards the village. A light mist was settling round the group, humid air sticking to Neteyam’s skin. It was only a matter of time before the rain started.

“{What’s that?}” Tuk asked, pointing out to the horizon. A dark shape was emerging from the fog in the distance. Neteyam stood, squinting as he tried to make out the shape quickly approaching the shoreline. As it got close he could see it was a purple Ikran, its rider crouched low in their saddle, obscured from view. It flew adjacent to them, the rider either not noticing, or avoiding the group below.

“{Who’s Ikran is that? Did Tenak come back already?}” Kiri looked between Neteyam and Lo’ak, as a sudden tension overcame the group, made worse by the heavy air.

“{No, his mount was yellow…}” Lo’ak murmured, coming to stand next to Neteyam as they watched the stranger land some yards down the beach. 

“{More friends of yours, forest boy?}” Ao’nung joked, but the young man was visibly tense as he flanked Neteyam’s other side, hand poised on his knife defensively. Kiri and Tsireya pulled Tuk behind them, watching warily as the boys set a line of defense. This was exactly the sort of thing Neteyam’s father had been worried about when Tenak arrived, that their location would be compromised.

“{Who is it? I can’t see!}” Tuk whined, trying to peer around Kiri as the older girl held their sister back. Neteyam kept his eyes forward, hand on his blade as they watched the stranger dismount. A large back shape was strapped to their back, swinging as they hopped onto the sandy shore. The Ikran chirped, rustling anxiously as its rider seemed to sooth it, their back still to the group of young Na’vi. A twinge of something familiar tugged at Neteyam’s gut, but he ignored it, not wanting to risk being wrong.

“{Kiri, Tsireya, take Tuk home. Tell mom and dad what's happening.}” Neteyam ordered. His first priority needed to be protecting his family.

“{No! I want to stay!}” Tuk was arguing, though she still clung to Kiri’s legs for safety. “{Dad says we have to stick together!}”

“{Tuk-}”

“Holy shit.” Lo’ak’s sudden use of English cutting off whatever Neteyam was about to say, pulling his focus back to the stranger now approaching the group. “{Is that…?}”

A strange awestruck expression crossed Lo’ak’s face, his eyes glued to the figure in the distance. They were Na’vi as far as he could tell, dressed in a tight black top and bottoms not dissimilar to the Metkayina style, and hair tied back in one long and messy braid. Their stride was at first slow, cautious even, and then they were running, the weapon on their back discarded into the sand, tripping over their own feet in their effort. Ao’nung tensed beside Neteyam, the Metkayina man letting out a low warning growl, but Lo’ak rushed to block him. 

“{Wait- Stop!}” Lo’ak was pushing Ao’nung back, but Neteyam was frozen, half convinced his grief-addled mind was just playing tricks on him.

“{Neteyam!}” A familiar voice, calling out to him.

Neteyam’s body was moving before he even fully registered what was happening, the world around him dropping away as he ran full sprint towards Anthe. 

They crashed into each other with such force that it nearly knocked them both into the sand, Neteyam barely holding his balance as Anthe wrapped their arms around his neck, pressing their entire body into him as if he could disappear at any second. Neteyam clung right back pulling Anthe’s smaller frame as tightly to him as he could, burying his face in their neck, the scent of salty sea air and smoke clinging to their skin. He felt Anthe pull back, a pathetic sounding whine escaping his throat as they pulled his face from their shoulder, holding his cheeks as they looked at him. For a moment, Neteyam worried they would push him away again. But they didn’t, instead Anthe pressed their forehead to his, eyes screwed shut as they took deep grounding breaths, their fingers carding through his braids and holding his jaw. 

“{You’re here.}” Neteyam breathed, his voice barely more than a whisper. His bright eyes taking in every inch of them that he could without pulling away. Anthe looked haggard, dark circles under their eyes and hair falling from their braid in windblown tangles. Their body trembled slightly in his arms, hands clinging to him for dear life and tail flicking anxiously behind them.

“{I’m sorry.}” Anthe’s voice cracked as they spoke, golden eyes welling with tears they struggled to blink away. Anthe’s thumbs caressed his cheeks, wiping away tears Neteyam hadn’t even realized had started to spill. 

“{Wait, so… it is another friend?}” Ao’nung huffed, sounding vaguely annoyed as he rudely butted into the intimate moment. 

“{Anthe is a little more than a friend.}” Lo’ak was grinning, the previous tension quickly fading. Neteyam scowled, shooting a half hearted glare over his shoulder at the pair. He felt Anthe shift, moving to see the rest of the group but making no move to leave the circle of his arms any time soon. Kiri and Tuk were quick to pile on with their own hugs and excited greetings.

“{Great Mother, are you okay?}” Kiri gasped, inspecting Anthe for injuries. “{You look terrible!}”

“{I’m okay. Just… tired.}” Anthe gave a half-hearted smile, the shake in their limbs starting to subside as they began to relax in Neteyam’s hold. They were clearly more than just tired, but clinging to the relief of being back with familiar faces and tentative safety. Neteyam nuzzled into their hair, ignoring his siblings giggling at him. 

“{Hello.}” Tsireya smiled as she approached, dragging a reluctant Ao’nung with her. “{I am Tsireya, and this is my brother Ao’nung.}” Tsireya made the gesture for I See You, but Ao’nung crossed his arms, a sour expression on his face as he looked Anthe over. Neteyam glared at the Metkayina man, ears pinning back as he anticipated the mans penchant for nasty comments, but Tsireya beat him to it, elbowing her brother hard in the ribs, still smiling sweetly as ever. Ao’nung doubled over, yelping in pain and swatting his sister away before huffing a stiff ‘hello’ himself.

“{Hi.}” They watched the Reef siblings with interest, returning Tsireya’s gesture. Their tail still flicked anxiously behind them, giving away their nervous state. Neteyam let his own tail catch Anthe’s, twinning them together and stilling their movement.

“{Did Tenak send you? Where is Spider?}” Kiri asked, squeezing Anthe’s hand hopefully. Neteyam felt Anthe tense immediately, watching their face fall from relief to confusion.

“{What?}” 

“{Your brother, Tenak. He was here, he said he was going to bring you and Spider back.}” Neteyam could see the realization cross both Kiri and Anthe’s faces at the same time. Tenak had not found Anthe. Spider was still gone.

“{Y-You saw Tenak?}” There was something raw and painful in Anthe’s voice, an old wound opening back up again. Neteyam squeezed them tighter to his chest as he felt them begin to tremble again.

“{He was here this morning!}” Tuk pipped, the tone of the current conversation going over her head entirely. Anthe looked dazed, their eyes darting back and forth between Kiri and Neteyam for answers.

“{He came out here looking for you. He’s been searching for you this whole time.}” Neteyam said, running his hands along Anthe’s back and hair to soothe them.

“{He’s alive?}” They looked almost bewildered, like the idea was to foreign to understand. Neteyam pulled their head to his chest, letting Anthe anchor themselves to him as they gripped onto his arm. 

“{Him, your sister Kala too.}” Anthe seemed stunned, their grip on his arm tightening. Neteyam fished around in his pouch pocket, pulling out the photo Tenak had given him the night before. Gingerly, Anthe took it, a choked sob escaping them as they realized what it was. 

“{You said he was here this morning?}” Anthe finally asked, once they had gathered themselves again. Kiri nodded. Neteyam watched Anthe process, quickly shaking their head as if to dispel unwanted thoughts. 

“{Come on. Let’s take you home.}” Neteyam could tell it was too much happening all at once for Anthe. In one swift movement, he lifted Anthe into his arms, intent on holding onto them for as long as possible. They made no protests, save a small surprised yelp, but quickly settled, curling into his neck and shoulders as he walked them back down the beach towards the village.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

“{The Ta’unui’s Tsakarem sent me here. She said this is where I might find help, I didn’t think she meant you all were actually here.}” Anthe explained. They were exhausted, the emotional whiplash of the day exacerbating the tired ache of their body. Neteyam held close to them, letting Anthe lean into his side as they sat with the Sully family in their new home. Jake Sully listened intently to their story, his expression growing dark as they went on. Anthe fidgetted under the patriarch's gaze, fiddling with a bracelet Spider had made for them out of small river stones and twine. 

“{You’re sure no one followed you? No trackers?}” Jake questioned them. 

“{I’m sure.}” Anthe had been so paranoid about being followed, they’d done multiple checks of all of their gear and even tossed their Ikran’s saddle and tack into the ocean just to be sure.

“{Do you know how they even figured out we were out here?}”

“{There was a helicopter signal that got picked up on radar. I didn’t hear too many details, but Quaritch was sure it would be you.}” Anthe watched Jake pull a frustrated hand down his face, swearing under his breath. He looked back at his wife, pacing back and forth, her tail thrashing wildly behind her in agitation. 

“{Stay here.}” Jake ordered the group, pulling himself and his partner outside and out of earshot. Anthe swallowed, feeling guilty for having brought only bad news with them. Everything in them was screaming that they shouldn’t have come, that everything was their fault, but then they felt Neteyam nuzzling into their side, whispering comfort in their ear, and were reminded how that sort of thinking was exactly what got them into this mess in the first place. Anthe sighed, pulling Neteyam’s arms more closely around them. Neteyam let them, practically hauling them into his lap to bring Anthe closer to him.

“{What about Spider?}” Kiri pressed, brows knit in concern. 

“{He’s okay. I would have brought him with me, but there's still a tracker in his breathing mask. He didn’t want to take the risk.}” Anthe took her hand, squeezing it lightly.

“{Do you think they’ll hurt him?}” Lo’ak said it quietly, more to himself than anyone else, eyes avoiding anyone else’s gaze. He sat further away, knees tucked to his chest. It wasn’t hard to guess what he might be feeling, his brows knit in the same sort of guilty expression Anthe usually wore. Spider had told Anthe about how Lo’ak was usually the one who got into or started trouble for the Sully siblings, Anthe had even seen it for themselves. It wasn’t surprising that the younger man might feel responsible for Spider being taken in the first place.

“{Quaritch will be pissed but he’s…}” Anthe tried to answer, struggling to find the right words to describe the estranged father and son’s relationship. “{... attached to Spider, I don’t think he would hurt him. Spider might lose a little bit of the freedom he had, but if anything, this has just put me on that psychopaths shit list.}” 

“{Spider had freedom? With the RDA?}” Lo’ak scoffed.

“{You’d be surprised.}” Anthe couldn’t help but smile a bit at that. “{After a while, Quaritch let Spider, do pretty much whatever he wanted. The only thing holding us back were the trackers. We would have gotten out ages ago, otherwise.}” There was an unintentionally bitter edge to Anthe’s voice. 

“{You’re here now, that’s what matters.}” Neteyam said, softly brushing the hair from their face.

“{Neteyam’s right. Spider will come back to us.}” Kiri huffed, sounding more like she was trying to convince herself than anyone else.“{For now, let’s try to clean you up.}”

“{I’m fine-}” 

“{You’re a mess. Neteyam, do you still have the clothes I made them?}” Neteyam nodded. He reached back towards his bag, dragging Anthe with him as they refused to let him go, and pulling out a bundle of cloth.

“{You made me clothes?}” All Anthe had ever worn were RDA issue uniforms, or the clothes leant to them by Avatar scientists. Neteyam and his siblings had tried convincing them to wear more Na’vi garb, but Anthe had always felt too guilty and self conscious for the more revealing attire. 

“{It’s probably not ideal for the water, but it’s better than what you have on now.}” Kiri joked, tugging at the black nylon material of Anthe’s clothing. “{More comfortable too. Neteyam, go help them clean up and change.}” The younger woman pushed the pair towards another more private room of the marui, a sly smile not so subtly gracing her features.

Neteyam was smiling and rolling his eyes playfully as he pulled Anthe with him, closing a privacy curtain behind them. His hands only left them for a second, quickly returning to hold Anthe back in the circle of his arms, pulling Anthe’s back to his chest and resting his chin on their shoulder. From the moment they’d returned, Neteyam was holding or touching them in some way, even in front of the rest of his family. Before, such a level of affection had only been brief and in private, but Anthe found they didn’t mind the change, enjoying the feeling of closeness with another person.

 Anthe took the bundle gently from Neteyam, unwrapping it carefully to reveal the soft green and blue woven garments, and something else. A shining black blade, with a hand-woven and beaded handle and sheath lay tucked between the garments. Anthe felt Neteyam squeeze them lightly as they raised the blade, examining it closely. 

“{I wanted to give it to you before but it wasn’t done when you left…}” Neteyam mumbled into Anthe’s hair. 

“{This is for me?}” Anthe blinked up at him, unbelieving at first that something like this could be for them. Neteyam nodded, his cheeks tinged purple as he nuzzled them with his nose. The blades Na’vi carried with them were their lifeline, a means for survival and connection. Anthe just barely remembered having one as a child, before everything, that they had made with help from family that they could no longer recall. Now, Neteyam had made one for them, carved and assembled with such care and love that Anthe felt like they were short circuiting, suddenly too warm and soft to hold themselves together. 

“{Do you like it?}” Neteyam spoke softly, watching Anthe admire his handy work. Anthe nodded, pressing the gift close to their chest as they turned in his arms, pressing their face into the crook of his neck. Neteyam gave off a warmth that Anthe had desperately missed. It was different from anything they had felt with another person, the soft and comforting promise of safety and understanding. The only other connections they could compare it to was Tenak and Spider, and even those were still completely different. Tenak and Spider were their brother’s in arms, friendships born from the comfort of another person in the face of danger. But their closeness with Neteyam was not born out of mutual struggle and pain. It had come from a place of healing and understanding, built on a trust Anthe had never really encountered before. 

“{Come on, let’s get you changed.}” 

Anthe reluctantly separated from Neteyam, though his hands still held them, bringing them to a mat on the floor. He set about collecting a few clean cloths and freshwater, as Anthe began to undress. Previously, Anthe might have felt more self-conscious about their nakedness in front of another person, being raised by humans instilling a shame in their body that was hard to shake. A part of them still felt bashful, instinctively covering themselves with their arms as Neteyam gently began to wash away the dirt and sweat from their body, but they didn’t feel uncomfortable by any means. They let Neteyam take down their hair and help dress them in the clothes made by Kiri, a comfortable silence encompassing them. When they were finished, Anthe leaned back into Neteyam, who sat closely behind them. Neteyam ran his fingers through their dark hair, carefully pulling apart the tangles. 

“{I’m sorry.}” Anthe said finally, breaking the quiet. They felt Neteyams hands pause, then wrap around their middle and pull them close, his nose pressing lightly into their jaw.

“{You were right.}” Anthe continued. “{I should have stayed, I should have listened to you.}” 

“{Stop, please.}” Neteyam sounded hoarse, squeezing Anthe tighter to him. “{You’re here, you’re safe. That's what matters.}” Anthe turned themselves to look at him, hand cupping his jaw to make him look at them. Neteyams brows were furrowed with worry, his hold around them tight and desperate. He thought they were going to leave again. 

“{I want to stay here. I want to stay with you.}” Anthe pressed their forehead back to his, trying to will away his anxieties. “{I See You.}”  Neteyam took a deep breath, seeming to relax a bit with Anthe’s admission.

“{I See You.}” Neteyam repeated, a small smile replacing the worry. His eyes lingered a moment on their lips before flicking back up to their eyes. The movement was small, but caught Anthe’s attention enough for Anthe to register just how close their lips were to Neteyam’s. Their cheeks flushed, suddenly shy as their own eyes landed on the curve of Neteyams mouth. One of his hands ran softly up their back, holding the back of Anthe’s head, gently pulling them closer and closing the gap between them. 

Neteyam’s lips were soft, molding to Anthe’s mouth like two puzzle pieces fitted perfectly together. They pressed into him, chasing his lips in a desperate kiss they were loath to break. When they did finally break the kiss, both were panting, trying to catch their breath again. Neteyam grinned, pressing back in, peppering small kisses around Anthe’s face and making them laugh. It was pure relief. All the unsaid feelings and emotions, finally out in the open, and neither of them could get enough.

[elialys]

Per your lovely, lovely flawed show tag, I am curious what you think the flaws of Fringe are?

I’m sorry it took me so long to answer, I got distracted!

Fringe definitely had its share of flaws. I won’t even address the ones that can “be excused” by the fact that it was a show made before/early 2010s in terms of representations/inclusions, because you know, it is what it is.

I think my biggest ‘regret’/annoyance has always been the writers’ tendency to…shove traumas under a rug, or to not properly (if at all) talk about the consequences of some events that happened. I get that they had to make the characters go through a lot of drama because that’s the point of stories, especially on TV shows that have over 20 episodes per season, but the characters suffered through some terrible stuff time and time again, and they were just FINE. And it’s not like they didn’t know how to do it!

I’ve always loved the first few episodes of season 2 because they showed recovery. Olivia had a bad car accident, then she had to kill “Charlie”, and it took her time to get better from all of that, not just physically but emotionally, too. And yet, over and over again after that, she goes through horrible things and there’s…almost nothing? Like, I adore Marionette, I think it’s a brilliant episode through & through, but I still can’t believe Olivia went through all the shit she went through Over There (and coming back) and didn’t have some serious PTSD, on top of EVERYTHING ELSE she’d already gone through (aka why I wrote Shivered Bones). Peter too was barely allowed to mention what Walter did to him after he came back at the end of season 2, barely ever allowed to mention what Altlivia did to him either, except in some awkward bits of dialogue (I will discuss Peter’s character a bit more later).

Also, the whole REWRITING THE TIMELINE at the end of season 3?? Biggest cop-out. I mean, I’ve never hid the fact that any kind of ‘amnesia’ plot is honestly one of my LEAST favorite tropes, in anything. From the moment that season started airing and Peter reappeared being a complete stranger, I just disliked that so much on principle. But what will always pain me is how by doing so, the writers completely erased not just Peter but THE FIRST THREE SEASONS.

Like, poof, gone.

(adding a 'keep reading' because this is long 😂)

Conveniently, it erased Baby!Henry in the process, which the writers might have felt would be too much of an issue? Personally I would have loved to see that unfold. I know I’ve discussed this before on this blog, probably more than once, but they could have kept SO MUCH of season 4 the way it was, as far as the Bridge was concerned, could have come up with a brand new Vilain to do all the “NEW UNIVERSE” stuff Bell/Jones tried to do, while our core characters had to deal with the consequences of everything that happened in season 3 (including Peter being a dad, WITHOUT trying to force a stupid ‘love triangle’ down our throats, thank you). It would have made for great, impactful family drama, because who are we kidding. Anyone who loves Fringe typically loves it because it is such an emotional, family drama. So yes, I will forever mourn the universe(s) we had season 1-3, and endlessly daydream about what could have been.

Now let me talk about Peter Bishop, it’s been a hot minute. Peter Bishop, who was hated basically the entire time the show was airing, and still now is strongly disliked by a lot of viewers, and honestly, I can’t blame them? I’ve had over a decade to analyze his character, have spent hundreds of hours writing stories from his POV, explaining his traumas & mistakes, have written giant meta posts about him back in the days to explain his behavior, so I’m not exactly objective, but I’m also very honest about how flawed his character is. Not (just) as a human being, which is normal because humans are flawed. I mean, he’s flawed in the way the writers used him/wrote him.

He’s probably the most inconsistent of all the characters. He’s the character who suffered the most from the ‘let’s make this person act out a certain way to make sure it fits our plot’ syndrome.  I will never forgive the writers for how…clueless (for lack of a better word), they wrote Peter in early season 3 during the Switch. Yes, Peter was traumatized as a kid, yes he was in love, yes yes, I know all of that, I’ve written endlessly about it to explain his cluelessness so I know.

Still, Peter should have figured it out. Peter as we saw him in season 1 and 2, especially second half of season 2, would have figured out. He figured out BY HIMSELF that he was from another universe, ‘just’ from his dad and Olivia’s weird behaviors and the fact that he didn’t go ‘POOF’ on that bridge in 2x18. Peter went to another universe, he met Olivia’s alternate. He’d just spent weeks running from his life, trying to accept the fact that he was lied to all of his life. At best, he was suspicious, at worst, he was paranoid (as was mentioned in 2x20 in Northwest Passage). Literally 3 days after he gets to THAT OTHER UNIVERSE, and 3 hours after meeting Olivia’s doppelganger, Olivia ‘I hide from my own emotions’ Dunham comes tell him he belongs with her and smooches him, so he goes home. Yet the writers want me to believe Peter would not have still been reeling from EVERYTHING that just happened in his life, and not be a bit on edge?

Like, ‘damn, the woman I love and have come to know quite well these past 2 years is suddenly SO DIFFERENT? ALMOST LIKE SHE’S ANOTHER PERSON? A BIT LIKE THAT ALTERNATE VERSION OF HER I MET 48H AGO, THAT’S NOT A COINCIDENCE AT ALL’. But nope, Peter just accepts it, EVERY CHARACTER on that side just accepts it, when Lincoln and Charlie keep on looking at our Olivia like “Is this chick for real? WHAT IF THEY SWITCHED THEM?”

I’m forever frustrated. It just doesn’t feel believable to me, never has. It feels like the writers went “we want everyone, and especially Peter, to be clueless the entire time so we can write our drama the way we planned it.” And that’s a shame, honestly, because that whole damn arc is already so good as it is. But it would been even better if Peter HAD figured it out, if he’d kept on pretending for a bit, if HE’D conned Altlivia the way she conned him. Like I mentioned before, Olivia already went through so much trauma during the Switch, they could have found ways to make her miserable upon coming back, without Peter having slept with her alternate for a few weeks—and the knowledge that he didn’t realize what was going on. More daydreaming on my part about what could have been.

I could go on when it comes to the way they wrote Peter honestly. The whole “maybe Peter has feelings for the other Olivia” crap in the second half of s3, and “the universe that will survive depends on which Olivia Peter chooses”, excuse me??? Altlivia basically abused him??? She used him in so many ways, including sexually. She wasn’t even herself, she was pretending, playing him the whole time. HOW IS HE SUPPOSED TO HAVE FEELINGS EXCEPT A LOT OF SELF-LOATHING AND MORE UNRESOLVED TRAUMA?

Anyway, I think you get my vibe and why I’ll forever be sad/mad about this. As a writer & storyteller myself, one of my strengths and favorite aspects of writing is figuring out the characters’ motivations, what drives them, and how it makes them behave. Peter’s character is just…wobbly, during those arcs. He’s inconsistent from plotline to plotline, and it feels off to me. He’s a lot more true and consistent to how I understand him in season 4, but in season 3, he’s a hot mess, meant as a plot device more than anything else, and that makes me sad. Characters are what drive stories and shape the plot, not the other way around. So yeah, I don’t blame people for always having such strong opinions/dislikes where Peter is concerned.

I could come up with more things, but this is already long enough 😂 In case that wasn’t clear, those flaws don’t stop me from having the deepest love for this show. What it did well, it did extremely well, and even all those years later, I still cry rewatching it, because the emotions were real. They're still real.

Plus it gave me Olivia Dunham, so really, it wins just for that.

[hahskeleton]

⚠️Sun and Moon Show Spoilers Below Cut!!⚠️

So….. Sun started drinking. Hmmmmmm what could possibly be on his mind? Eclipse? Death? Old Moon? Maybe he just wanted to try it like he said. Yeah, that sounds like something.

Wait a minute? We’re talking about the Sun and Moon Show, aren’t we? There’s no way Sun started drinking a bottle of wine per day just to try it. He’s probably worried about something so much so he’s been drinking a lot.

Moon mentioned Sun not hanging around the daycare or the Pizzaplex very much after work ever since Eclipse started his “alliance” with them. It’s possible he’s trying his best to avoid Eclipse at all costs, not wanting to get into any trouble around him. Sun does for sure know Eclipse can’t hurt him, but would you really want to hang around in the same building as the person who lived in your head and tormented you and caused your entire family trauma and unimaginable problems not to mention erasing your brother’s memory as well as his life?

i wouldn’t.

But, then again, he could just have wanted to try it. Alcohol is a tempting thing especially when loads of it is being delivered directly to your house every week. He’s probably got a considerable good excuse for drinking, whatever it is exactly. We won’t know until they release a “Moon searches Sun’s head” video or smth. Maybe an episode where Sun spills the beans to everybody from breaking under stress.

Of course, he doesn’t seem as stressed as he did when all the,,,,,, madness was happening. But I’m glad they finally got Solar to relax a bit :D

[myfairkatiecat]

Keefe (for bingo)

AHELDHKAUSHDKJAAHJSSHAKSBDKHSKSDSHAJAHDLDUSBSKSJSHALSHDHSKA

OK I CONTRADICTED MYSELF A LOT SO LET ME EXPLAIN

this is my favorite character of all time in any media, right up there with Anakin Skywalker from Star Wars, Nicholas & Nathaniel Benedict from TMBS (showverse) and Lancelot from bbc Merlin. Actually probably slightly above all those characters which is SAYING SOMETHING.

Is he comic relief? Yes.

Would I be his friend? Yes.

Has he done nothing wrong? Yes!! No he’s done many things wrong he’s so precious to me ok but the law he’s broken the law I love him so much he literally betrayed his friends I will always love him he has sooo much to answer for I’m glad Sophie forgives him after she chews him out she should chew him out longer but I suppose Fitz does that for her He has so many apologies to make but like he’s also done nothing wrong look I’m aware of my blorbo’s mistakes he’s honestly not as problematic as the tumblr fandom makes him out to be sometimes, and I MEAN that, but he’s also not as perfect and sweet as the eleven year olds on Wattpad make him out to be. He’s a LOT okay, you can’t analyze Keefe Sencen without the everything

Are my opinions unpopular? Yep! The other keefe girlies hate my opinions bc I acknowledge his character flaws and the Keefe haters hate my opinions bc I acknowledge the fact that he’s NOT an antagonist and actually has a lot of really good traits, and that’s NOT me making excuses. Also what are y’all on about saying he doesn’t get held accountable for his actions, like yeah Sophie forgives him pretty fast but not until she’s yelled at him, and the rest of his friends do NOT bounce back to normal (Fitz)

Do I relate to him? Yes, unfortunately. I have Fitz’s trauma and Keefe’s coping mechanisms (they aren’t good coping mechanisms but they’re literally mine)

Is the fandom wrong about him? Yes, the Keefe fans and Keefe haters alike. Don’t flatten this guy there’s SO MUCH THERE. (I’m not talking about my Keefe-negative mutuals—if I follow you, you didn’t flatten his character, I am very serious about Keefe Sencen)

Do I want to adopt him? YES I mean I’m literally his age but if I was old enough to adopt him I totally would, get that kid away from Cassius Sencen and kill Gisela Sencen. Honestly tho I’d settle for an Elwin adoption, dad!Elwin rocks

Did he need less screen time? *sighs in resigned Keefe fan* probably…objectively…yes…

Did canon do him dirty? I debated filling in this one. Because Shannon has made him a SUPER complex character. But also I swear if the ending of stellarlune isn’t the last time he steals something from Sophie to carry out a reckless plan he told no one about, I’ll riot. Don’t give him forward character progress and then erase it! If it’s a momentary relapse of bad habits I’ll allow it but I’m starting to want Shannon to let Keefe grow from all of that. Cause she keeps letting him get better—and then slip back. (Which isn’t unrealistic and I can work with!! I love him! But SHANNON PLEASE)

Do I want to study him? I want to get a full on PhD in this guy’s character arc actually

Did he need more screen time? Heh. Uh. Objectively NO. But also this amount of page time has allowed us to learn so much about his character complexities?? Like I’m torn between missing the other characters and eating up his character arc. Currently I’m gonna hope book 10 expands the other characters more bc I need more of them and 9.5 can feed my Keefe brain

Would I hit him with a golf cart? Listen my friend made this bingo game (hi Bods, if you’re reading this) and I know exactly what the actual intention was behind this square. But like. I want to slightly run into him with a golf cart. Just enough to slightly injure him and make him rethink his life choices (affectionate) (actually in the words of@phtalogreenpoison “I’d like to microwave Keefe. Just shortly”)

Does he need therapy? OH MY GOSH YES. I have thought this about other characters but SPECIFICALLY KEEFE HOLY GUACAMOLE GET THAT GUY THERAPY

Is he insane? Define insane. But I love him anyway (what is going on in his head half the time 😭)

Am I rotating him in my head 24/7? WELL YOU’VE READ THE POST WHAT DO YOU THINK

Do I have so many headcanons? Oh you guys don’t know the half of it. I have. So. Many. SO MANY

Is he wasted potential? Uhhhh I have too many thoughts on this to actually put it on this post. Genuinely love what Shannon’s doing with his character, like I said. But at some point she needs to. Address the things. Or he just becomes a guy with all these complications introduced that just kinda sit there and continue to change and grow and Keefe is the complex character to end all complex characters but Shannon you need to DO SOMETHING WITH THE MASTERPIECE OF A CHARACTER THAT YOU HAVE CREATED

The amount of bingos holy moly

Anyway

Keefe means a lot to me

Thanks for the ask anon!

[sunnynwanda]

The Darkside: Part 4

Part 1   Part 2   Part 3

Warning: mentions of physical torture and trauma, a somewhat graphic description of rape in the 2nd chapter, blood, broken bones, healing and aftercare for Villain, revenge, murder & death(s).

Sneaking back into the city wasn’t particularly difficult. Finding their former friends fast asleep in their beds wasn’t hard either. Kidnapping them and hanging them up by their toes in an abandoned building was almost too easy. Making several deliberate cuts and leaving them to bleed out as they beg for mercy was... a delight. The one thing that was actually hard was not letting them die. Not that easy. Not by Hero’s hands.

They smile to themselves as they dismount their motorcycle in front of the cabin. They left their former fellows chained upside down, helpless and slowly bleeding. They wouldn’t die. But they wouldn’t have enough strength to free themselves. Not until Hero returned, anyway. They grab their bag and stride into the cabin, directly to the kitchen. Villain is still asleep, so they make coffee to keep themselves awake and start preparing breakfast.

“You’re back.” The statement catches Hero off-guard. They whip around, smiling at how dishevelled Villain’s hair is. As if noticing their gaze, Villain runs a hand through their untamed curls.

“Morning,” Hero smiles, gesturing for them to sit down. Villain visibly limps, and Hero has to turn away to give them privacy. “Breakfast is almost ready.”

“You were gone for a while,” Villain states, their eyes narrow as they watch Hero’s back stiffen. They manage to find a comfortable position before elaborating. “I needed a shower before going to sleep. It took some time. You still weren’t back.”

“The closest town is quite far away,” Hero lies. They can feel Villain’s eyes boring into the back of their skull and turn around, forcing a smile onto their face. “Did you need anything?”

Villain shakes their head, falling into silence as Hero serves breakfast and sits on the opposite side of the table. They can tell something is troubling Villain but avoid pushing by focusing on their food. Villain does the same for a while, partly because they are starving after god knows how many days without a proper meal. 

“I appreciate everything you did for me,” Villain starts out of the blue. They are back in the living room, sitting with their back to the fireplace because their hair is still quite damp. Hero smiles at them from the sofa. “But that doesn’t erase what they did.”

Hero nods once, expecting Villain to continue. They do not, seemingly deep in thought. “Why are you saying that?” The question drags Villain’s attention back to the outer world. They glance at Hero for a moment, examining their countenance before speaking up again. 

“I’m past any reservations, Hero.” Determination is evident on their face, but that wasn’t exactly new to Hero. Villain clears their throat. “You can’t hold me back anymore.”

The wheels in Hero’s brain halt for a second, then start motion in reverse. They shrug. “Who says I want to?”

Villain’s expression is serious yet concerned. They wonder if their nemesis understood at all. “What?”

“I want you to unleash your rage on them,” Hero says matter-of-factly like that doesn’t mean eliminating their entire base and killing their mentor. “And I want to help.”

“Okay...” Villain is still processing the proposition. Since when do you have no problem with homicide? They are about to ask just that when Hero interrupts their deliberation again. The excitement in their voice makes the hair on Villain’s nape stand. 

“So, where do we start?” Hero paces the room before stopping by the window. Villain doesn’t exactly have a plan as of now, but that is the least of their worries, it seems. “Cause I might have done... something.”

They dart across the hall, leaning against the wall as Hero unlocks the metal door. It was only two hours ago that Hero revealed what they had done. Now, they are about to face two of the most respected crime fighters in the city. They walk into a dark cellar, waiting for their nemesis to turn the lights on. The scene that opens before their eyes would be disturbing in other circumstances. Right now, it brings a smile to their face. They watch their captors dangling from the ceiling, blood dripping down their arms and pooling under them. Hero stays behind, watching them approach the heroes, dagger in hand. They crouch down to be face level with them, dragging the blade across one’s cheek. The man whimpers, choking on their own tears. 

“Can’t even bring yourself to beg for mercy, can you?“ Villain asks, turning their attention to the woman that stepped on their throat while Superhero smashed their hand. “You know you don’t deserve it.” 

She lets out a muffled moan, nodding. Villain tilts their head, thinking for a moment. Then they rise, throw a short glance at Hero and release the chains, allowing their prisoners to land on the floor in a pile of twisted limbs. Hero remains silent. 

“I’m not going to kill you. You don’t deserve even that.” They cut the “thank-yous” short, ordering the heroes to shut it. “The only thing I regret is that Hero had to dirty their hands in your rotten blood.”

One of them tries to apologize, to come with an excuse of being forced by their boss, but Hero interrupts, stepping forward. “You will run without a glance back. Cause if you do, I won’t be as kind as Villain. I can promise you that much.” 

Their voice sends a shiver down Villain’s spine. They want to ask how Hero knew taxidermy cuts. Did Superhero teach them? Or perform those on them as punishment? Villain isn’t sure they are ready to learn the answers to the questions circling in their mind. What they are sure of is that no one can survive those cuts, not after bleeding out for so long.  

They reach the headquarters by sunset. Infiltrating the facility takes less than twenty minutes. They locate Superhero in the interrogation room and shut down the lights in the building, locking themselves in. When Hero swings the door open, Superhero doesn’t even turn to face them. It’s only when the door shuts behind Villain’s back that he reacts. 

“Lovely of you to show up,” he smirks at Villain, then turns his attention to Hero with sickening satisfaction in his eyes. “I’m glad you delivered, pet.” 

Villain’s blood freezes in their veins. They stiffen, watching Hero nod, then round the table to stand by Superhero’s side. No. It feels as if boiling water was poured over their head burning them to the bones. Their eyes start to water, and Villain blinks, unable to comprehend what is happening. No.

“What’s the matter, dove?” Superhero tilts his head and barks out a laugh, gesturing towards his apprentice. “Did you think they were helping you for real?

Hero doesn’t meet their eyes. Villain’s breath hitches in their throat, heartbeat frantic. They can feel their blood thumping in their temples. Their vision blurs, and they don’t even know if it’s tears or their body shutting down in shock. The room is spinning. They know they are outnumbered, but they also know they have nothing left to lose. And they won’t go down without a fight. 

“How naive,” the condescending tone awakes something absolutely feral in Villain. Their entire body vibrates with rage. They clench their jaw, pressing their lips together to hide the tremor that runs through them. “That’s what I always liked about you, Villain. You play fair. And I make up my own rules.” 

Villain’s mind is reeling, wailing in their head because they cannot fathom how dumb they were. They shake their head despite the lump in their throat that is threatening to explode into sobs with every passing second. They were so, so stupid to get deceived that easily, to believe the enemy, to trust someone trained by the very person that ruined them.

Hero takes a step back, gesturing for Superhero to proceed. The man smiles, nodding in appreciation. 

“Tell me, Hero, what would you like in reward for such a lovely gift?” He reaches for the handcuffs and licks his lips, a disgusting smile plastered on his face. “A taste of them, maybe? I could let you use them all you want, for torture or pleasure. I’ve had my fun with them.”

Villain growls, low and raving. Hero knows they will not hesitate to kill themselves if in a desperate situation. Villain draws their dagger, ready to fight for life or death. Superhero moves towards them, and that’s when Hero springs into action. Villain barely registers the movement when Hero grabs Superhero by the neck and bends him over the table, banging his head against it several times. They use a combat knife to nail one of Superhero’s hands to the table, cutting through the metal and disregarding the anguished roar from their mentor.

“How about I let Villain do whatever they please to you?” Hero kicks the back of Superhero’s knees, making his legs buckle and smashing his face with a fist until it’s covered in blood, nose fractured in multiple places. 

“What are you doing, pet?” The man wheezes out, struggling to pull himself up. “Have you forgotten which side you belong on?”

“I know perfectly well which side I am on.” Hero restricts his free hand, cuffing it to the table leg. “ It’s you that has lost it.”  

Villain is too dumbfounded to react. They stare with mouth agape, their brain refusing to process what is happening until Hero looks up at them. The expression in their eyes is batshit crazy.

“We’ll talk about the fact that you believed I’d betray you later,” their breathing is laboured as they speak; voice laced with emotions that Villain is unable to discern. “Right now, he is yours.” 

Hero gets off Superhero’s back and walks to stand by the door. Villain is motionless for a long moment before attacking with demented madness. They make cuts, one after another, the same ones Hero used on their coworkers earlier, except deeper and more painful. 

“You know what this is, don’t you?” Villain asks. Superhero snarls, muttering curses under his breath. Villain twists his hair between their fingers, bending his back, causing the handle of the knife in his hand to tear into the flesh. “Like how it feels?”

They circle around the table, bending down to look Superhero in the eyes with chilling calmness. “Should I show you what the rest of what you did to me felt like?” The man laments, trying everything to fight back as Villain drags their gun along his spine. “Let’s see how you like it, huh?”  

Hero steps out of the room. They catch a glimpse of the gun barrel and try not to think what Villain plans to use it for as they shut the door. They can hear the muffled cries and curses as Villain rips him apart for hours. Hero stays by the door for the entirety of it, pacing back and forth in expectation of a gunshot that’s never heard. They dare not open the door until Villain calls on them. It’s past midnight.  

When they walk in, Superhero is still alive and bent over the table; an expression of utter madness stains their face. Hero realizes his hand is no longer pierced by their knife when Villain hands it to them. Hero’s face is stern when they nod in agreement and position themselves behind Superhero. They fist his hair, arching the man’s back and making him face Villain. 

“Get a good look - they are the reason for your demise,” Hero growls into his ear before slashing his throat, cutting it open and watching blood gushing onto the table. They let go when Superhero’s body stops shaking. 

They are seated on a rooftop when Hero presses a button on their phone. Villain is gobsmacked as they watch the headquarters crush down, burying Superhero’s body under tons of concrete and debris. They gaze at Hero with wide eyes, anticipating a grain of regret or sorrow but catch none. All Hero offers them is a small smile of relief. 

Villain did not expect to find a friend in their foe or to become allies with the enemy. They did not anticipate the sudden change in their consistently cheerful and kind nemesis. They couldn’t have imagined how unhinged Hero can get once pushed hard enough. And they certainly wouldn’t have pictured themselves being the reason for that. Yet, when the sun comes up next morning, colouring the sky in hues of warm yellow, they sit on the porch of their cabin with a cup of coffee in hand and a friend by their side, watching the outline of the city on the horizon. A city rid of criminal minds and sadistic saviours. A city now free.

​ Part 1   Part 2   Part 3

Masterlist

Hi, loves!

This ended up pretty long and cruel, I hope you won’t mind either of those. Felt quite new to me as well, especially on this blog. You’ll be deciding what the next story is, so feel free to vote and let me know what you’d like to see. 

And thank you for reading this :) 

P.S. @pigeonwhumps tagging you as promised. 

Love, 

Sunny :)  

[theninth09]

While I think we can agree Theo is the more mentally fucked up individual between him and Liam, I totally think Liam hates himself as well. I think the fandom canonically forgets that Liam literally regularly self-harms, and while you can argue that this is also for control it doesn’t erase the conversation him and his stepdad have in season four. When talking about his IED and how kids like him “either hurt themselves or others” he is clearly speaking from experiences he’s had with Liam, nor does it excuse the clear self loathing in that scene.

So while I support Liam taking care of Theo when he’s depressed and down, I even more support Theo reminding and protecting Liam everything he vehemently loves about Liam, the boy that saved him but can’t save himself.

this!!! exactly this! i could not agree more, seriously. both the show and the fandom like to forget that liam has a mental disorder. im definitely no expert, but i doubt that the representation of IED in teen wolf is actually well done. from what ive read, people with IED struggle with a lot of shame and guilt due to their outbursts and have problems with keeping healthy relationships (friends as well as partners.)

this is a huge aspect of his character and the glimpses we see of this are absolutely devastating. how ashamed he looks in s4 in the shower when he tells scott and stiles about his diagnosis. that scene in s6 after brett provokes him on the field and he ends up destroying his locker. how shocked and scared he looks after, surprised by his own lack of control and strength. the way he hides that hes been struggling once mason and corey arrive in the locker room, pretending that hes okay: because hes ashamed, because he thinks he doesnt deserve help.

a lot of liams trauma gets ignored. "oh theo has nightmares/hallucinations" uhm. do we all remember s4 and how liam was so terrified of the berserkers that he couldnt fall asleep and kept seeing one about to attack him? dont get me wrong, i LOVE theo and dont want to downplay what he went through at all. but a lot of people focus on liam helping theo, when liam has just as much baggage that he could use help with.

i could go on (i love to yap) but ill stop here. theo totally helps liam through bad mental health days and i like to think they help each other unlearn their self-loathing.

[forsaire]

Reconciliation (Ghost x Soap)

Soap forgives Ghost for leaving. Soap spills his heart out to Ghost.

Chapter 44 excerpt of Don't Let Me Go on ao3.

For the first time since entering the room, Ghost risked a glance up and raised his head to peek at Soap. This encouraged Soap to take another step forward until he was standing directly in front of Ghost. Ghost looked up at him with downtrodden eyes, the life having been drained out of them.

This was it. Soap was going to lay it all out – exactly how he felt.

“You question whether or not I can look at you. I’ll tell you what I see when I look at you…”

Soap wrapped his hands around Ghost’s and gently pulled him up to stand. Watching Soap like he was the only thing in existence, Ghost let himself be led easily and without hesitation. Soap looked deeply into Ghost’s eyes, wanting to be seen and wanting to see Ghost. The words came out of him almost like a whisper.

“I see someone who is brilliantly smart, always determined, and incredibly kind.”

Ghost’s eyes softened and he let out a shuddering breath of relief.

“I see someone that has such a big heart yet can’t see it for himself. I see someone who has been forced to fight every day of his life. He is caring and compassionate, not because of the trauma he faced, but in spite of it. Despite everything the world has thrown at him, he still wants to give back to it. He still wants to make it a better place.

“I see someone who is scared of how much love they have to give…”

Soap blinked away his misty eyes before continuing.

“We have all made mistakes. None of us are perfect. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t hurt by what you did. I hurt every day. But I knew it always paled in comparison to what you felt, I just wish you could have let me in to see that.

“I care about you so much. I always want to be there for you when you stumble. We can both be there for each other.

“Even after everything I’ve been through… It’s… I couldn’t live with myself if I just gave up on you so easily. Turning my back on you when I know you needed me the most, it wouldn’t be right. I couldn’t do it. For both our sakes.

“I know that you of all people deserve second chances…”

Soap looked down at their gently clasped hands and raised them up slightly in the space between their bodies. He looked back up into Ghost’s endless brown eyes that he never wanted to leave again.

“You are so sure that these hands can only be used to cause pain. Well, I disagree. When I see these hands I think of them as being fiercely protective of their team. They are one’s that treat wounds with such a delicate and soft touch. These are the hands that hold me tenderly at night and erase all my doubts and fears. These hands have gracefully explored every inch of my body and made me cry out your name in pleasure.”

Soap raised one of his hands to cup the side of Ghost’s face which Ghost needily leaned into. Soap dropped his eyes to where he knew Ghost’s lips were underneath his mask. He paused for a longing second before trailing his eyes further down Ghost’s neck to the edge of the mask. He slowly moved both hands to gingerly grip the edge of the mask, feeling the fabric he’d memorized long ago underneath his fingertips.

Soap dragged his eyes up to look at Ghost, silently asking for permission. Ghost looked back deeply into Soap’s eyes. Any of the walls that Soap had previously been used to seeing had been smashed away.

Ghost faintly nodded his head, the weight of their decision permeating the whole room as the four walls began to close in on them. There was nothing in this room except the two of them. There was nothing in the world except the two of them.

Soap started delicately rolling the mask up, his heart beating fast in anticipation. He pulled it up past Ghost’s lips, which were still a delicious pink, and past his nose. He kept pulling the mask up achingly slowly, millimetre by millimetre. Ghost’s eyes fluttered closed as the mask was pulled over them before being gently slid off the top of his head.

Soap let the mask fall from his fingers onto the floor behind them and Ghost opened his eyes again.

“What I see… is you, Simon,” Soap whispered.

The composure that Ghost had been fighting to maintain the whole time suddenly splintered as he let out a racked sob. With frantic hands, he reached forward to pull Soap into a tight embrace.

As soon as Ghost’s arms were around Soap, he felt his heart soar through his chest, the sudden rush of happiness nearly overwhelming. Two months of anguish and heartache washed away so fast he felt dizzy. All thoughts left his mind except for the man in his arms.

Ghost pressed his face into the crook of Soap’s neck and cried, his body shaking with overwhelming emotion as well. With one arm wrapped around Ghost’s body, Soap used his other hand to tangle his fingers into Ghost’s hair, keeping them close. His hand trailed up and down Ghost’s back in soothing motions, the other gently scratching and pulling at his hair in the way that he knew Ghost liked.

“Forgive me, Johnny,” Ghost let out with an unsteady and pained voice.

Soap once again blinked away the tears that were threatening to escape his eyes. “Oh Simon…” Soap said softly, speaking into his ear. “I’ve forgiven you every day…”

Ghost’s embrace somehow got tighter upon hearing this. Soap felt as though the world would cease to exist once they broke their hold.

“Don’t let me go…” Soap pleaded.

“Never.”

It was said like a promise, spoken with such assurance and commitment.

They stood there wrapped in each other’s arms for an eternity – two eternity’s – forever grasping to have more of each other. Soap wanted nothing more than for Ghost to have all of him. He would take Ghost a million times over – the good and the bad. Everything. He wanted to be by Ghost’s side to face whatever the future had in store for them.

Eventually Ghost’s breathing started to become more steadied and calmer. His tears dried against his face and his body relaxed into Soap as it stopped shaking.

Ghost released his grip slightly and pulled back to look at Soap. It warmed Soap’s heart that he looked at peace. Assured. Content. He cupped both sides of Soap’s face with his gentle hands and leaned in.

“I love you, Johnny,” Ghost murmured with pure devotion. Soap’s breath hitched as soon as those words were said, having wanted to hear them his whole life. Soap leaned forward to press their foreheads together.

“I love you too, Simon.”

They were the easiest words Soap had ever said in his life.

Full chapter a03.

[bizlybebo]

Post Greyscale arc-

Xavier and Allen wake up confused, wondering why the Prime Defenders never responded, where Cantrip is, why they lost an entire day's worth of memory

What if they tried to break in again because they forgot what happened when they did before, because they forgot they had done it before.

What if the injections didn't work all the way, memories slowly seeping back into their mind and they remember the Prime Defenders betrayal. Williams betrayal.

What if the injections did work but they have a hatred of William in the back of their mind but they just can't figure out *Why* or why it grows when they worry about their missing teammate

What if Xavier has nightmares over the horrors William showed him, what he remembers but only thinks of it as a nightmare because William wouldn't do that. But he did

YEAH NO I KEEP TJINKING ABOUT THIS SOO FUCKING MUCHH LIKE. DAVID IS SO SHADY WITH EVERYTGIKG HE’S DONE AND CONSIDERING NOW WHAT WE’VE LEARNED FROM THE FINALE?? LIKE. HOLY SHITTT

and even if, somehow, david’s created something entirely capable of purging those memories so that they (xavier especially) forget, like. xavier’s still gonna be fucked up. he’s gonna wake up with a leg chopped nearly in half, with a still-healing alan (allen?) and no jade.

like surely there’s gonna be some kind of subconscious fear the next time xavier sees william because you can erase memories but i simply don’t think you can erase the effects of such severe trauma.

i almost wonder if he’d get flashes of jade’s distorted face, of the false image of her that william made out of smoke, and think that maybe he was there and something bad happened to her but he simply. can’t. remember.

maybe they’ll go back to bell tech and look for her phone. maybe it’s been destroyed too, though, considering how bell tech “took care of” things.

maybe xavier will see that they sent out distress calls to the prime defenders and they were received and viewed, but he can’t remember why exactly he sent them.

like literally there are SO many ways this shit can go and i’m fuckimg losing my mind about it. this is going to grow and fester and become a huge fucking problem in season 3, i just know it.

and gah. i miss xavier and cantrip so bad :( their friendship genuinely means so much to me. i think about them constantly