#can’t believe it’s been a year since I posted here holy shit

[amaru-sagedraws]

saw Book IX’s trailer and Loki pulled a Sephiroth and my hand started moving

[wintrwinchestr]

an overture of indulgence (joel miller x f!reader oneshot) 18+

summary: it's been a long time since you've seen joel, and some things have changed, but a lot has stayed the same. namely, how quickly he can still get you on his knees for him, ready to show him exactly just how much you like what has changed about him.

warnings: 18+, smut, post-outbreak, jackson joel, d/s relationship dynamics, pet names (baby, babygirl, sweetheart, sweet girl, etc), body worship, belly kink, talk of weight gain, belly riding, m/f masturbation, lil bit of humiliation kink, lil bit of edging, reader is an adult but age otherwise unspecified, reader is shorter than joel and has hair long enough to grab, let me know if i missed anything :)

word count: 4.3k

a/n: just fuckin outing myself left and right these days huh. idk what came over me with this one. started this late last night and here it is now. belly enjoyers rise!!!!!!! nice comments/reblogs appreciated if you enjoyed <3 you can't kink shame me bc i like getting bullied so now what. also i avoided daddy kink for once in my life please clap. i know i’m spoiling y’all this weekend don’t get used to it.

divider by @saradika

“...Joel?!” you shout, your leisurely walking pace quickly turning into a hurried jog as you leave Tommy behind, making a beeline toward the man you would swear on your life is Joel Miller. A small handful of years ago now, he was kind of your boyfriend, kind of not, kind of something else more complicated and unlabeled, because who can afford to put a label on anything in times like these?

Joel’s head turns in your direction at the sound of his name, and as soon as you spot that crooked scar across the bridge of his nose, you’re certain it’s him.

“Holy shit, I can’t believe it,” you half-cry, throwing your weight into him as you wrap him in a tight embrace. He’s much taller than you, but you still managed to knock him off his balance a little. He envelops your whole body in one of his signature, all-encompassing hugs, and it’s like no time has passed at all.

The two of you had ended whatever it was you had on good terms, no hard feelings or animosity shared between you. It was just hard to maintain any kind of relationship in a world like this, and trying to nurture romance in the Boston QZ was much like trying to grow a rose garden in toxic, radioactive soil. You can put as much care and effort and something like love into it as you have in you, but the circumstances will just never allow it to reach its full potential. The end of your “relationship” was mutual, but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt. Especially when he had disappeared one day without so much as saying goodbye.

When you had stumbled upon Tommy and a group of patrollers in the snowy forest outside Jackson just earlier today, you were alone, tired, and losing hope that this rumored safe haven even existed at all. You had heard crackles through the radio in the QZ about the community, and even though it sounded too good to be true, what else did you have to lose anymore? After months of travel and survival and pain and hunger, you’d never been so happy to meet a bunch of strangers in the woods in your whole life. You didn’t hesitate to get on the back of Tommy’s horse, and let him lead you to the sanctuary they spoke of.

As he was giving you a tour, proudly showing off their electricity, running water, fresh food, and clean houses, you had started to look forward to what the future may bring, for the first time in a long time. You could never have imagined you’d ever run into Joel again, that this is where he had ended up, of all places. And now here the both of you are, bodies pressed as tightly together as possible, breathing in each other’s familiar scents and never wanting to let go again.

Joel is the first to break the embrace, grasping your head in his large hands and frantically searching your face for any sign that he could be dreaming, that fate hasn’t really brought you back together again after all.

“Jesus Christ, it’s really you,” he breathes, and you swear his voice breaks just a little bit as he presses his lips to your forehead, closing his eyes as he does.

When he blinks them open again, he meets Tommy’s gaze, who’s standing quietly a few yards back from where you’re having your sentimental reunion. Tommy gives an understanding nod, and gestures that he’ll be waiting inside the community’s dining hall, gathering that whatever this is happening between his brother and some girl he only just met, he shouldn’t interrupt. Joel is grateful for many things today, one of them being the rekindled bond he has with Tommy, the other being how you somehow miraculously found your way back to him.

Small groups of other Jackson residents follow Tommy into the dining hall shortly afterward, and as the sun begins to set behind the mountains, Joel realizes it must be about time for dinner to be served.

He detaches his lips from your forehead, brushing some of your hair away from your face as he takes you in again. “You poor thing, must be starvin’ I bet,” he wonders aloud, giving you a sympathetic look.

“Kinda always am, just as a rule, but yeah,” you reply, trying to make light of your situation. Though, Joel doesn’t seem to find the humor in it the way you do.

“Long as you stay here, ain’t ever gotta worry about that again, that’s for damn sure.” He runs his tongue across his lips as he finishes his sentence, already knowing that whatever meal they’re serving tonight, it’ll be some of the most delicious food he’s had in a long time. He suspects you’ll feel much the same. “C’mon, let’s get you inside. Get you warm and fed for once in your life.”

–

Your heart, your stomach, your soul, all feel full as you relax into the comfortable couch in the living room of Joel’s cozy home. He wouldn’t even entertain the idea of you staying in an empty house all by yourself tonight, insisting that if you’d like some company while you settle in, you were more than welcome to his. He had let you spend as long as you wanted to in his shower, and he didn’t mind if there was hardly any warm water left by the time you were done. He sure as hell wasn’t paying the bill, and you deserved to feel truly clean. He can remember clear as day how he felt after his first Jackson shower, like he had stripped off a layer of grime he hadn’t been able to scrub all the way clean in twenty years. He had gone to Maria to get you some clothes and underwear while you were bathing, and set them silently on the sink counter for you to put on whenever you were done.

And now here you sit, feeling full and clean and satisfied and comfortable and safe, watching Joel stoke the logs in his fireplace as it casts the whole room in a honey orange glow. You take a moment to admire him while he isn’t looking, and even in the dim and flickering lighting, you can see he’s just as handsome as he was the last time you saw him. He looks older, with more gray in his longer hair and meat on his bones, the latter trait likely due to years worth of the hearty cooking you both indulged in tonight. He looks… good like this.

“It really is nice to see you again, you know. You look…” you start, not being able to help the way your eyes wander to his soft lower belly, the way it pushes taut against his tucked-in flannel shirt and just barely spills over the edge of his jeans.

He turns his head away from the fire to face you. You’re not very subtle in your staring, and he knows what you’re referring to right away. He huffs a light chuckle, trying to brush off the way he thinks you’re poking fun at him.

“I know, I know,” he acknowledges, placing a hand on his stomach. “Been tryin’ to get Maria to give me some more patrol shifts, see if I can get some of the weight off. But hey, you try havin’ three square meals a day for the first time in twenty some odd years, see what it does to you, huh?” He pivots his attention back to the fireplace, and he seems to turn his body further away from you on purpose, so that you can’t see the round profile of his tummy as much.

“No! No, it, um… It suits you. I was gonna say you look good, actually.” You’re quick in your reply, trying to make it clear that you didn’t mean to offend him, without letting too much on. 

He scoffs. “C’mon, you don’t gotta flatter me, sweetheart. I know I don’t exactly look the way you remember–”

“Joel, will you stop?” you interrupt, your voice laced with exasperation. “I’m being serious. Do I look like I’m making fun of you?”

He cranes his neck to look back at where you’re perched on the couch, and gives you a once over. “Guess not… Look a lil’ like somethin’ else, though, if I'm bein’ honest,” he says with a teasing smirk. And there he is again, the same quick-witted Joel you remember from back in the QZ.

You choose to engage in his banter, just to see where he’s going with it. “Oh yeah? And what’s that?”

He shrugs, beginning to mindlessly poke at the firewood again. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you look like you might like it.”

He’s just kidding around with you, trying to rile you up, you’re sure. But when he gets silence in return instead of the sound of you jumping to defend yourself with another playful jab, he turns to face you once more, and is met with your stunned expression. 

“Oh…” Joel looks down at himself, then back to you again, just in time to catch your eyes flitting from his middle back up to his face. “What, you like ‘em big, sweetheart? ‘S that it?”

The truth is, you do, you always have. It was never a requirement, of course, as the guys you’d been with before Joel all had varying body types. But you’d be lying to yourself if you said that your eyes didn’t linger just a bit longer on guys with a little more to them, with wider arms and thicker legs and a softer middle. You’ve never admitted your preference to anyone before, and Joel calling you out on it now has your face running hot, skin feeling prickly as he sees through you like you’re made of glass.

“I-I don’t– I mean, I do, kinda, but not like that… Well, it is like that, I just mean–” You stumble over yourself, fearing you’ve revealed too much, wishing you could rewind the conversation and just tell him it was nice to see him again, plain and simple.

Joel lays the fire poker down on the granite ledge of the fireplace, approaching where you’re sitting and cupping the side of your face with his calloused hand. 

“Sh, sh, stop, baby. ‘S alright if you do, nothin’ to be ashamed of,” he comforts, and it takes all the willpower you have left not to let your eyes drift down to his stomach, so close you could kiss it, if he’d let you.

“It’s just… I missed you. I thought about you all the time, wondered what ever happened to you after you left. Didn’t even know if you were alive until today. I’m just happy to see you… doing so well. To see that you’re healthy, and everything.” You swallow hard, hoping you sound convincing enough that he’ll let this go, forget all about your little admission just now. But of course, Joel is as stubborn as he’s ever been, and he doesn’t plan on releasing you from his trap now that you’re ensnared in it. 

“That’s sweet, baby, ‘s real sweet,” Joel says, softly, stroking his thumb across your cheekbone as he speaks. “Thought about you too, all this time. Practically every day…” He rakes his eyes over you, noticing the way his touch has you starting to melt already, how you’re looking up at him with your wide, needy eyes. “Why don’t you show me just how much you missed me, hm? How much you love seein’ me healthy, as you put it.”

You’re stunned into silence once again, jaw slack and pupils wide as you search his gaze for proof that he’s just messing with you, making fun of you just to watch you squirm. But you don’t find any.

“O-okay,” you agree in a half-whisper.

Joel smiles down at you, satisfied. “All these years later, still just the sweetest thing, ain’t you? You still just as obedient, too?”

You nod without even thinking, words catching up with your instinctual response a second later. “Mhm, yeah, I am…” You had forgotten how easy it is to submit to him, how good it feels to let the hypnotizing tone of his voice carry you somewhere far away from yourself, when you need it the most. Whether it was after a shitty day of working for shittier rations in the QZ, or after a harsh trek in harsher weather to a forested oasis, Joel always knows how to make you feel like submission is your most natural state. 

“Good… Kneel for me please, sweetheart,” he commands, and you obey immediately, his hand slipping from your face as you slide from the couch onto the woven carpet beneath you. Like second nature, your hands automatically fold themselves on your lap, remembering how you were never to touch Joel until he permitted you to. He takes note of this, and praises you accordingly. “Look at that, didn’t even have to ask. Such a good girl.”

He’s so enamored with you, he almost forgets where he was going with this until he watches your eyes flash to the growing bulge in his jeans, then back up to him. “Not tonight, sweetheart. Was thinkin’ you could put that pretty mouth to use on somethin’ different this time, hm?”

You knit your brows together, not sure what he means, but he doesn’t let you wonder for long. Slowly, he starts to unbutton his flannel shirt, starting at the top and working his way down. He tosses it onto the ground, then pulls his undershirt off over his head, adding it to the other discarded clothing. Without the confines of his slightly-too-tight button-up, you can see how much he really has filled out. Everything about his upper body is just a little more plush, with petal pink stretch marks adorning the soft skin in various places. You want to make it your personal mission to kiss each and every one of them, commit their exact coordinates on his body to memory.

There's a deep scar, you notice, to the left of his belly button, that has almost successfully disguised itself as one of those pretty marks. It’s definitely new since you saw him last, and it looks like it hurt, especially with the evidence of how crudely it had been stitched back together.

“What happened?” you wonder aloud, worried eyes glued to the healed injury.

He has to peer over the curve of his belly to see what you’re looking at. “Long story. Happened on my way out here, after I left Boston. Nothin’ for you to worry about, sweet girl, hardly even hurt. Forget it’s even there, most of the time,” he answers, still with a dominant edge to his voice that does a mostly good job of convincing you it’s the truth.

“Can… Can I?” you ask, waiting to receive his permission before you move your hands from your lap. 

“Yeah, baby, go ahead,” Joel allows. 

You reach out a small hand to gently trace over the raised scar, then press your lips to it with your hands splayed out on either side of your head, just barely pressing into his belly. He releases a soft groan, cradling the back of your head with one of his hands, applying the lightest amount of pressure to let you know this is where he wants to keep you. 

“Why don’t you keep goin’, sweetheart? Gimme some more lovin’ like that, know you wanna,” he encourages, and you think you get the idea now, what it is he wanted to put your pretty mouth to use for.

With his explicit permission to continue, you don’t need telling twice. You move your face to hover just in front of his belly button, admiring the dense salt and pepper happy trail that sprouts from where his jeans push into his soft skin. You drag your tongue along the hair, nipping at the soft curve of where it disappears into the divot in his stomach. He makes a noise in response, half pained and half pleasured, but he doesn’t stop you. Just for good measure, you place a kiss to the little blushing mark where your teeth had scraped him.

Almost of their own volition, it seems, your hands begin to knead at his stomach as you make good on your promise to yourself to kiss every single one of his stretch marks. You allow your tongue to dart from your mouth on the last one, and Joel sucks in a breath.

“Oh, fuck. Forgot how good that wet lil’ mouth feels on me, sweetheart. Keep goin’,” he says, voice coming out strained. His fingers curl tightly into your hair, and he begins to maneuver your face around his belly. You lave your tongue over his skin as he does, slicking him with wet, sloppy kisses. “Yeah, baby, you fuckin’ worship it, show me how much you like me like this.”

It’s a little humiliating, but just enough that you like the feeling. You’re breathing hard and fast, letting out little whimpers as your fluttering cunt begins to soak your underwear. He brings your face to a stop at the most tantalizing part of him, the part that truly evidences how much more he’s allowed himself to indulge since settling in Jackson. The ample curve of flesh that just barely conceals the waistband of his jeans, the part you’ve wanted to get your mouth on since you first saw how it strained the lower buttons of his shirt. You latch onto it, massaging the skin around it as you use your teeth and tongue to suck a mark into him.

A growl rumbles from deep in his chest, and he curses under his breath. “Like it that much, huh? Fuck, naughty thing, look at you.”

You’re so fucking turned on, you’re shivering, rocking where you kneel and squeezing your thighs together in an attempt to get some kind of relief. You let one of your hands drift to the hard shape in Joel’s jeans, and it seems he’s enjoying this as much as you are. He spots your pathetic little squirms as you rut against nothing, and then he’s using his grip on your hair to pull you up from the floor.

“Got an idea. Up,” he commands roughly, and you detach your lips from his belly to obey his order. “Get these off, there we go.” He pulls down your sweatpants and underwear, helping you step out of them. “Christ, you’re soaked,” Joel teases, eyeing the sizable wet spot in your panties as he tosses them aside to join the other forgotten clothing. He reaches a hand toward the apex of your thighs, teasing your wet pussy and gathering some of your slick on two of his fingers. You let out a tiny yelp, but let him play with you, and then he’s bringing his fingers in front of his face and examining the sticky strings of your arousal when he spreads them apart. “All this just from lettin’ you worship all this, huh?” he taunts, patting his stomach once for emphasis. “Who’d’ve thought? Not that I’m complainin’...”

He quickly rids himself of his jeans and briefs, then reclines onto the couch with a quiet groan, stretching out his body along the length of it. Your mouth waters at the sight of his cock, hard and leaking as it bobs against his belly, his precum adding to the dampness still there from your tongue. “Come sit, sweetheart,” Joel says, softly, motioning with both of his hands for you to come closer.

You grip a hand onto the backrest of the couch to balance yourself while you move to straddle him, prepared to sink down onto his length for the first time in way too fucking long. “Uh uh, not there, baby,” he instructs, smirking when he sees how you hesitate in confusion. “Take a seat right here for me.” Again, he pats that most tempting area of his lower belly, and you just about fall apart at the sight of how his flesh ripples in the wake of it.

“Yeah, there you go, good girl,” he praises, both hands gripping your waist as he helps you settle your weight onto his soft abdomen.

“I dunno, don’t wanna hurt you–” you start, but he cuts you off swiftly.

“You won’t, baby. I’m a big man, ain’t I?” he teases, flashing you a devilish and knowing smile. “Go on, sweetheart, ride it.”

You inhale a shuddering breath, then place both of your hands on his shoulders to hold yourself up. You start an experimental buck into his belly, and that trail of dark hair tickles your clit so perfectly. It takes a few tries for you to get the positioning and pressure just right, and then you’re truly riding him, using his full stomach to get yourself off while he watches. 

“God, that’s good. Use it, baby. You love me bigger, love that I’ve been eatin’ so good, prove it to me, c’mon,” Joel goads, and it spurs you on to grind against him harder, faster, as incoherent mumbles and curses tumble from your lips.

“Love it, Joel, you look so good, fuck. So fucking–mmh–so big, makes me so… so–”

“I know it does, sweet girl, I know. Makes you fuckin’ soaked is what it does, god damn. You gonna get my belly all messy, hm? Gonna rub your lil’ cunt all over it, get me all fuckin’ wet?”

“Uh huh, yeah, gonna… I’m gonna–” you whine, eyes shutting tight as your hips pick up their pace. You move your hands from his shoulders to place them on his stomach instead, grabbing at handfuls of his tummy in an effort to create something more solid to rub yourself against. 

You’re already embarrassingly close, the humiliating edge to your earlier worship having gotten you most of the way there on its own. So swollen and sensitive it almost hurts, you won’t need much more to reach your high.

“Not without me, you ain’t. Gonna be right there with ya. You remember how we used to do it?” Joel asks, as if you could ever forget. He’s referring to your many late nights, early mornings, in his bed or in a back alley or wherever in the QZ, where he liked to make sure you both finished at the same time. You’d always be the first one to reach the edge, because he’d focus all his attention on getting you there before him, just to make you wait. It was never something punishing, just something he liked to do as an extra bit of control and dominance, and he knew it always made your orgasms that much more powerful and satisfying when he would finally permit you to let go.

With your eyes closed, so focused on your own pleasure, you hadn’t noticed that he had reached behind you to start fisting his cock some time ago. But you can hear it now, the wet schlick of his hand moving up and down his shaft as he works himself. “Hold it for me, sweetheart, I know you can. Keep rubbin’ your pretty pussy against me, jus’ like that, almost there…”

You mewl, screwing your face up as you force yourself to slow down your thrusts, muscles tense as you try to keep your orgasm at bay for as long as you can. 

Thankfully, he must be worked up enough from seeing you fall apart for him so easily for the first time in so long, that his permission comes just a few minutes later.

“Come for me, babygirl, soak my fuckin’ belly, c’mon,” Joel growls, and you fall forward immediately, twitching and spasming and crying out into the soft muscle of his shoulder as you ride out the shuddering shocks of your orgasm. He groans next to your ear as he comes, and you can feel the warm ropes of his own release as some of them land on your lower back. You’re both wet, heaving messes, as you embrace each other for the second time today and work on catching your breath.

So exhausted from the day you had, you must’ve fallen asleep against his chest as you laid there, because then you’re being woken up by the dull scratch of his fingertips against your scalp and his familiar voice working its way through the thick fog that clouds your tired brain. 

“You alright, baby?” he asks, and you can hear that he’s smiling, amused at this sleepy little thing he’s got clinging to him.

“Mhm, jus’ tired,” you answer, a barely-there mumble of a sentence.

“I’ll bet… You wanna get cleaned up? Get all tucked into bed?”

You shake your head against his neck, and he chuckles.

“No? Whatcha wanna do then, hm?”

“Jus’ lay here. Missed you. Don’t wanna let… go…” 

Your sentence drifts off into silence before the temptation of sleep allows you to finish it, but Joel gets the idea. He smiles to himself, kissing the top of your head, and hugs you closer. Both of you are still sticky and damp, but satisfied. And together again. And that’s a hell of a lot better than the alternative.

So he agrees, and you stay like that for the rest of the night. Joel doesn’t worry about whether or not he remembered to set his alarm clock for his extra patrol shift the next morning, or if he’ll even hear it all the way from his bedroom upstairs, because it doesn’t matter anyway. He has you, and you made it very clear tonight just how much you like him exactly the way he is. 

Maybe, your rose garden can finally begin to bloom, now that the pair of you have somewhere safe and comfortable and healthy to try your hand at nurturing it again.

tag list: @beefrobeefcal @iamasaddie @rebel-held @dilfgestivo @zliteraturehoe @joeldjarin @kamcrazy123 @hellowoolf @rexamongthestars @stevie75 @luxurychristmaspudding @noisynightmarepoetry @mewantpeepaw @pedritoferg (if your name is crossed out, it won’t let me tag you!!)

[mimasroom2]

Hot tub time ٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و

Ellie x reader modern au/slice of life

I have a hot tub but we need to get it fixed. I’m literally so eager so I wrote this LMAO. I LOVE SLICE OF LIFE ELLIE X READER SM!! Expect a bunch more, I have so many ideas written down😚 Im so sappy grrrr,,, I already wrote kinky ass sex so here’s soft sex for u guys😋

C/w: smut lol. Ellie + reader have their own house YAHOO! A bit of fluff in this one >•<. Au but Joel is still dead 😞. He’s mentioned like once. Cunnilingus😝 (r! Receiving) I feel so awkward using y/n like seriously and unironically ahhhh.

W/c: 2.4k

𓆟. ° .• .𓆝 .• ° . 𓆟 . ° .• .𓆞

“I’m actually so fucking bored I’m gonna gouge my eyes out.”

You scoff and roll your eyes. Ellie is always so damn dramatic. You glance over and she’s pretending to pull her hair out, large fistfuls in each hand.

You playfully shove her, “Okay, shut up Ellie.” And you both laugh. It was winter, and she was right… sadly. There was nothing to do during this time of year. Well, besides stay in and cuddle. The only problem was.. you’ve already done that. You two were both off work for the holidays, and you’ve already spent the wholeeeee vacation laying in bed together, so you guessed that Ellie wanted to do something a little more active.

“Wanna play Mario kart? I think the switch is in the bedroom.” You try suggesting, absentmindedly rubbing her leg.

“Nah,” she stretches her arms out on the couch, “Somethin’ more like physical yknow. Gotta keep these pretty muscles toned.” She winks at you, and you roll your eyes.

“You’re actually such a gym rat, you should just live there at this point.” You smirk to yourself, examining your nails.

“Maybe if I did I wouldn’t constantly trip on all the shit you leave around here.” Ellie remarks back, lightly kicking you on the knee.

“Hey, I keep it pretty clean considering we both share a room, thank you very much.” You cross your arms and huff.

Ellie gasps and starts kicking you more, so you yelp and start shoving her away. Suddenly she stops, holding out both her hands. “Holy fuck, babe. Yknow what I forgot about?”

“Huh.”

“Hot tub.”

You sit up at lighting speed, “OH DAMN YOURE RIGHT!” You actually can’t believe you forgot about that thing. You try to remember the last time you even used it.. must have been last summer. The hot tub was one of things that you’re OBSESSED with at first, but then you use it one too many times and you forget about it for a couple months. And then the cycle continues.

Ellie leaps off the couch and bolts down the hall. “GET YOUR SWIMSUIT ON WE ARE GOING IN!!”

~

You come outside and see Ellie lifting up the top of the hot tub. The whole things underneath a roof outside, so there’s not much snow in the porch where you two are standing, but it’s still really cold. You look up at the sky. The sun is starting to set, it’s been a little over an hour since you two had dinner. Delicious deer soup that Ellie made from when she went hunting a couple days ago. You always said that if Ellie was stuck in a post apocalyptic world, she would survive.

You suddenly remember the cold air hitting you, breaking you out of your thoughts of your girlfriend. You shiver, and pull the robe you’re wearing tighter around your body. You glance over at Ellie still messing with the top of the hot tub. All Ellie’s wearing is her classic swimsuit: plain black top and swim shorts. Her tattoo flexes as she finally pops the top off and turns the hot tub on.

You jump up and down in your slippers, trying to move to stay warm. “Ellieeee how much longer?”

She reaches down into the water and starts poking around at the buttons and jets. “Hold your horses, y/n, I gotta check all the filters n shit. Haven’t used this in a hot minute.”

“Mmmm I know but it’s cold.” You groan in protest. You know damn well you’re being a brat, but you swear you’re not built for any weather too hot or too cold.

“Well you wanna shut up and help me? Make it go by faster..” She looks up at you and you shake your head vigorously. “Yeah thas’ what I thought.” She smirks at you.

After what felt like foreverrrrr in the cold, Ellie turns the jets on and says you can hop in. There’s steam coming off the water as it hits the cold air. You can barley wait, you’re hyping the hot tub up in your mind. It’s something that feels like a luxury to you. The only thing that can make you stop thinking about your precious hot tub is your precious Ellie. You look up at her and get butterflies, even though you two have been dating for about 2 years now. She looks soooo beautiful, just standing there, folding up the tarp from the tub. You shake your head, thinking it’s so damn stupid to be drooling over your girlfriend who’s literally just standing there, doing the most mundane possible thing.

Some snow falls on top of your head so you brush it off. It’s getting too cold for you. You lick your lips, turning around to shed your rob, you’re still slightly shy undressing in front of Ellie, even though you’re still in a swimsuit. You hang your cute pink robe up on the hook where the towels you brought out are.

Turning back around to head into the tub, you see Ellie with her back towards you, messing around with the water guns from last summer. You check her out unapologetically, looking at her ass before you snap into reality again and take your slippers off to step into the hot tub. The hot water feels like it burns your skin, compared to the cold winter air. You take a couple minutes slowly sliding more of your body deeper into the water.

Ellie turns around, with one water gun still in her hand. “Feel alright, babe? Not too hot?”

You sink in deeper, up to your neck, “Mm feels good.” And then rise up again slowly, “Come in, Els. I’m gettin’ bored in here.”

“Oh yeah?” She closes one eye and lifts up the gun, suddenly shooting a short stream of cold ass water at you. “Not so bored now, huh?” She laughs and walks closer to you.

Your jaw drops and you scream when the water hits you, “ELLIEEEEE WHAT THE FUCKKKK!”

“What?” She fakes a pout, lowering the water gun. “I told you I gotta keep these muscles in good shape, right?”

Before you can retort, she’s already getting in the hot tub. “God, shove over. I’m freezing.” She accidentally splashes you as she’s hastily getting in.

“Ellieeeee! Don’t splash me! >~<“ you whine, but she just laughs, and this time splashes you on purpose. You sigh dramatically at all her antics.

She doesn’t reply, and just sinks in deeper, and you take no shame in watching her stretch her body out. Ellie groans slightly at the hot water enveloping her body. You sigh and blink at her, watching her eyebrows furrow. She slowly leans her head back against the headrest of the hot tub. You swear she’s egging you on, because she moans softly, giving you the perfect view of her neck, which she knows is your favorite place to kiss her. Suddenly, Ellie opens her eyes and says something that breaks you out of the trance you’ve had all day, “You keep lookin’ at me. What’s goin’ on?”

You let yourself float away from her in the water ever so slightly, “Nothing. I’m not looking at you.”

“Yknow I can like,,, feel your eyes burning into my back whenever you stare at me.”

You cover your face with your hands and

face away from her. She laughs to herself. She finds it so cute you still get flustered around her even after all this time you’ve been together.

“That’s too bad because I’m reallyyyy not looking at you.”

Instead of a snarky remark back, Ellie’s abnormally silent. You slowly bring your hands down to face her again, and she’s just looking at you with this look in her eyes. You think it’s somewhere in between concern and contemplation. “You trust me, right?” She says softly, after a few moments. You’re surprised, this is probably the quietest Ellie’s ever been with you.

“Of course I do. What’s wrong, Ellie?” Her tone is completely different than what you’re used to. This only happens on the rare occasion you guys have a disagreement. Or when you talk about something serious.

“Jus’ don’t want you thinking I’m gonna leave you.” She says, almost ashamed. She’s fidgeting with her fingers like how she always does, and avoiding your gaze.

You laugh softly. “Were you….. going to?” You can feel your heart rate speeding up.

Ellie’s eyes widen, “No. no no no.” She sighs, slowly, taking a few moments to collect her thoughts. “I get scared thinking about the future.” She mutters.

You look up at her. You knew Ellie gets scared. Of course she does. When she told you about Joel dying on what, your second date, you knew she’s not as… sturdy.. as she pretends to be sometimes. But that was in the past, and to hear Ellie admit she is worried about her own life ahead of her.. honestly made you surprised.

“Like.. I just want you to know that I’m always gonna be here for you.” She looks so concerned, like she might cry if you guys talk about this for any longer. She’s still looking down, trying to make herself smaller.

“Oh, Ellie.” You raise your hand up and softly tilt her chin to look at you. “I know. Okay? And nothing bad is gonna happen to you. Or me. Or us.”

She looks into your eyes for a second, before she gently tucks your hair behind your ear, leans in, and kisses you.

The kiss is as soft as she’s been talking - all emotion and thought as her lips move slowly against yours. She puts her hand on the back of your neck, pulling you in closer. You sigh into the kiss. She was so tender with you right now. You were so used to fervent and desperate make out sessions with her. Not that that was bad, at all, but you didn’t realize how nice of a change this was until it was happening. You grab her waist, pulling her in closer to you. All of her is so soft and warm against you: her lips, tattooed arm, thighs.. and not just because you two were in the hot tub.

She pulls away to look at you, and you want to melt from the look on her face. She looks like she’s actually in heaven.

“I really love you.”

You smile softly at her, tracing over her tattoo lightly with your finger. “I love you too.” You pull her back into a kiss. After a couple more minutes, she’s more intent with her movements, like how she usually is. She’s not afraid to run her hands over your thighs and squeeze you nipple under your swimsuit.

You gasp at the sudden contact, and moan a little into her mouth.

She pulls away, “Cmon, baby. Need more of that.” and kisses you again, almost immediately licking your bottom lip, asking for entrance. She’s not as soft anymore, back to her usual self wanting to make you moan in pleasure as she works your body. You don’t even try fighting for dominance, just letting her tongue dance around yours as she pleases.

“Ellie…” is all you have to say, and she understands, shifting her position to let you have more of her. You want to press yourself down onto her, and please you both at the same time. You lift your legs up, trying to hook them around her, but you start floating away in the water. You’re not even going fast, it’s so comical how slow the jets are pushing you. You snort and reach out to grab Ellie’s hand.

“Ohmygod!” Ellie starts laughing and she grabs your hand, “Can’t exactly scissor in the water, I guess.” You blush and scoff at how forward she can be.

“Cmere. Let’s get ya propped up.”

You untie the knots on you bikini bottoms to take them off, tossing them somewhere you’ll pick up later. She grabs your hand and gently guides you to sit on the edge of the hot tub, on one of the corners so you don’t lean back and fall off. She brings your arm down to her face, and kisses you on the back of the hand. You smile and giggle. You swear you feel like a little girl again. You’re a princess and Ellie is your prince. You glance up at the sky - the sun is setting. An array of orange and pinks.

Ellie’s below you, turning down the jets of the tub a little, and getting into her favorite position: right between your thighs. You really couldn’t ask for a more perfect fantasy if you tried.

“This okay?” She asks, lightly rubbing your thigh with her thumb.

“Yes,” you breathe out, “please, Ellie.”

From where she is, you’re practically a goddess towering above her. You feel powerful and confident, and fucking desperate, wanting Ellie to just devour you already.

Ellie only hums in response before kissing your clit. You gasp sharply, you swear no matter how many times she eats you out you could never get used to the heavenly feeling. Her tongue starts lapping you up, and you moan loudly. You silently thank the neighbors for never being outside late during the winter, and that the hot tub is reasonably private, so no one can see you.

Maybe it’s just the cold frigid night air in comparison to Ellie’s warm, wet mouth, but you swear this is some of the best head she’s ever given you. Ellie never stopped licking and kissing at your clit - eventually she didn’t know if you were shaking from the sex or shivering because of the cold, but either way, she could tell from the volume of your moans that you weren’t going to last much longer.

“Mmmmmm- gonna cum soon..”

Ellie just nods, her face still buried into you. You can feel her cute little nose bumping up against you, and both her hands are up on your knees, spreading your thighs open for her.

She knows you’re close when you start whimpering and gasping for air.

“Ohmygod ohmygod Ellie,, fuck- you’re gonna make me cum..”

As soon as you warn her you’re throwing your head back, and your hips snap up as your orgasm takes over you. She keeps licking you clean until your breathing slows and you let yourself sink back down into the hot water.

You can’t even think of anything to say, so you grab Ellie’s arm and wrap it around you, as a way to ask her to cuddle you.

“Always such a cuddle bug after you cum..” Ellie mutters, mostly to herself, as she rests her head on yours.

You just chuckle and look up into the sky as the sun finally sets. You sigh in and out the cold winter air. Ellie kisses the top of your head, whispering one more ‘I love you’ as she pulls you closer into her arms.

𓆟. ° .• .𓆝 .• ° . 𓆟 . ° .• .𓆞

[silversodas]

Interesting Alastor Insights

I think I may have figured out what was up Alastor’s ass in Dead Beat Dad. On one hand it may be a deeper issue that I am missing some context for, but I actually think it’s a little simpler then we think.

Even before Lucifer arrived, Alastor was clearly not happy about him coming over, and yes Alastor was 100% full of shit in the dad off song, BUT! Something note worthy is that he was not only being possessive of the Hotel (claiming to be its host and even greeting Lucifer as the master of the house does) but is also weirdly possessive of Charlie

And right down to the “fuck you” to Lucifer’s face it was projecting “get your feet off of my damn coffee table and get outta my house” energy. At first I was wondering what crawled up Alastor’s ass and died, and then Hell’s greatest Dad starts playing and..

“Who’s been faithful as a Nun? Who’s been here since day one?”

And it dawned on me and I was like “Alastor, why are you acting like your being replaced?” And Charlie is just as confused at Alastor’s behavior, like this came out of nowhere. Apparently Alastor was determined to show Lucifer who the Genie of this bottle is. But I didn’t believe it at first, I was like “nah it has to be something else” but then Mimzy gave some VARY interesting insight

When Mimzy first arrived, Alastor has a look that says (oh this is all I need right now) but he still seems happy to see her

Like holy shit, he happily reciprocates the hug, but that’s not to surprising if you know who Mimzy is if you have been fallowing Viv for a while

When she mentioned that he frequented the club (speakeasy)that she preformed in I was like “oh! They are drinking buddies!” Drinking Buddies are someone you generally only know the fun side of because you only hang out together at the bar, but Mimzy highlights a different side to their relationship

“Put on some Jazz, and pour a few fingers of Rye, and he becomes a kitten”

This gives me insight that while they were alive, she wasn’t just his drinking buddy and dance partner, she was his comfort zone. The way she phrased this sentence, made it sound like this was something she used to do for Alastor when they were alive, maybe she was a soothing presence as well as an entertaining one in Alastor’s life. But bar friends can sometimes be pretty high maintenance friends outside the bar, actually I think a lot of us have had something close to a friend like Mimzy in our lives. Apparently she is so bad that even Husk is concerned enough about Alastor to try and talk to him about her

“You and I both know Mimzy only shows up when she needs something. That bitch is trouble, and who knows what demon she fucked with to come running to you this time”

Alastor’s response threw me for a loop

“It’s nothing I can’t handle, don’t worry Husker, who would cross me?”

So Alastor is not immune to having toxic friends? I always assumed he would just drop anyone who became to much trouble, this is an interesting surprise. And on top of that he’s…an enabler!? Huh…that is super interesting to know. Putting a pin in the rest of this interaction for another post because there is a lot to unpack with husk and alastor. Except for the being on a leash thing because it made me realize something.

What if the reason he felt upstaged by Lucifer was not because Lilith told him to keep him away (yeah I am subscribing to the Lilith theory, it’s to much to Be a coincidence) but because he is legitimately afraid of no longer being needed by Charlie? What if, if he isn’t needed by Charlie then he has to go back to wherever he was the last 7 years? Everyone assumes he is free because he acts as such, but is he? Like real question, what if he was a straight up gift to Charlie in a way? Even if it was a “look after my daughter” command I would still call that sending a gift.

And oh man, what if he was suppose to tell the whole truth to Charlie but gave the whole, “I am here for entertainment” speech instead.

And your probably thinking, Charlie wouldn’t tell him to leave. Yeah but does Alastor know that? And he probably thinks Lilith might call him back anyway if he is not needed but just hanging out. But as we have seen, he cant even except his own situation

I will unpack this whole encounter later, but for real I don’t even think he is that mad at husk, he was mad at the reminder that his soul doesn’t belong to him any more. Like look at his face, it’s the most upset we have ever seen him, and it’s so detailed. He looks enraged, but also hurt at the same time. He and Charlie are not friends, yet, but I think he does feel some what safe at the hotel and maybe that’s enough for now

I also think there is some stock in Alastor hating that Lucifer is a bad dad theory, because that contempt was so raw and he did calm the fuck down a little bit during the “more then anything” song

But those are my random insights of Alastor, there were more but this is already to long I just hope it’s coherent

[dixons-sunshine]

You hummed quietly to yourself in the kitchen of the small two-story house you and Daryl occupied in Alexandria. After a harsh, intense period of fighting with not only the undead but the Saviours as well, it was nice to have some semblance of peace in the aftermath. It had been a grueling process to rebuild the remains of Alexandria from the ground up, but with the help from everyone in the community, as well as from people in other communities as well, Alexandria stood tall and proud once again. With all the houses rebuilt and with additional houses built as well, you and Daryl had opted to claim one of the smaller properties as your own, a sanctuary away from the bustling crowd of Alexandria after an exhausting day.

The paragraph of my first ever work in the The Walking Dead writing community. The story that kick-started this blog into what it is today. in SICKNESS and in health, posted February 25th 2024. Honestly, it feels like a lifetime and no time at all has passed since then. It’s such a surreal feeling.

When I wrote that story, I definitely did not expect anything to come of it. I remember being on season seven at the time of writing that, and feeling my heart break with what happened to Daryl in the sanctuary. I wrote that little comfort fic for myself at first, just to feel better about the hurt that was season 7, but then I thought “hey. I might as well post it. I’m sure someone out there will enjoy it.” And that’s what I did. I posted it and exited Tumblr directly after, and did not touch it again for a whole day. And when I did…

I saw my notifications showing me a bright blue ‘99+’. And I had gained a whole 20 followers, putting my follower count at the time at 29. Seeing that made my heart burst with joy. I could not believe that people were actually enjoying what I wrote. Also, I remember scrolling through my notifications and stopping dead in my tracks when I saw that @angelwings-crossbowstrings, aka one of the people whose stories inspired me to try my hand at writing for Daryl in the first place, had not only liked it, but reblogged it and followed me. My poor mom got bombarded with “holy shit, this amazing writer just followed me!” messages that day. She had no idea what I was yapping about, but she was supportive.

After that, I tried it again. Wrote something, posted it, and it got notes. And then again. I wrote my first installment for my “Shopping Spree, Hangout Dreams AU” as my third ever fic, which is still my most popular series to date. That fic also served as the gateway to people sending me their amazing ideas via requests.

And the hits just kept on coming after that. And I still can’t believe that I get to say that people like my writing. Take that, my third grade English teacher.

This year had its ups, and it definitely had its downs. Due to the fact that I was so excited to get this blog up and running, I pushed myself too hard a lot of times, and I have burnt myself out on more than one occasion. I told myself that if I didn’t pump out fics every day, people would be disappointed in me. I had set high expectations for myself, and I felt so bad when I couldn’t live up to them. However, through lots of reassurance and guidance, I realized that it was unhealthy for me, mentally speaking. I was pushing myself way too hard, and I needed to slow down if I wanted to keep the fun of writing alive for me.

This year, I also had a moment where I was scared. I found something that made me realize that my blog could have potentially been the next target for a known plagiarist, and it made me fearful. I pour my heart and soul into every story that I write, so having the safety that I associate with writing threatened was a terrifying thing. However, thanks to the vigilant creators behind the @fanfic-plagiarism-watchdog blog, my worries were settled. (Although I still keep my eyes peeled for any suspicious activity on that other blog.)

Now, for the ups. Let’s get the negativity out of here. We’re ending this year with a bang.

I never celebrated this, but I reached 1k followers this year! It happened so quickly, I barely had time to register and think of how to celebrate it. At the time of posting this, I’m a little less than 70 followers away from 2k, and I just wanna say thank you to each and every one of you for deciding to stick around. Your love and support means the world to me.

I had a work of mine surpass 2000 notes! That number is still so surreal to me, oh my god.

Not something writing related, but I moved this year. It was definitely a good decision and I don’t regret it at all. It was hard moving everything from one house to the next, but in the end, it was definitely worth it.

I also met some amazing people because of this blog. I still can’t believe that I get to say that I know them on a somewhat personal level. @lazyneonrabbitt, @angelwings-crossbowstrings, @enlightndone, @shadowcitrine, @dixondystopia, @dix0nvix3n, @deansapplepie, @snailss, @remnantsofsleep and @yevmarie.

And I can not forget about my girl @holdmytesseract. You’re one of my absolute favourite people ever and I love you. Keep being your awesome self, sweetheart.

And @thevegandarkelf. I still can’t believe that I get to talk to her on a daily basis. What started out with a comment about how our angels (our OCs, Vec and Georgie) would have been friends in an alternate universe spiraled into, if I may be so bold, a friendship. Taylor has become a huge part of my day-to-day life, and I honestly can’t believe that I get to just text you randomly throughout the day about anything at all. I love you.

I would also like to give the biggest of thanks to @daryl-dixon-daydreams. Her fic entitled “Plan A” was the first ever work of Daryl I read here on Tumblr, and she was one of my biggest inspirations to start writing after my long hiatus. So thank you for blessing us with your amazing writing, and I can’t wait to read more of what you put out.

Now, to finish this off, I thought I’d give my personal favourite fics I wrote this year:

Daryl Dixon:

Hazelnut—Daryl Dixon x Fem!Reader

Was It was Boogeyman?—Daryl Dixon x Fem!Reader

Shopping Spree, Hangout Dreams—Young!Daryl Dixon x Fem!Reader

Needs To Be Perfect—Daryl Dixon x Fem!Reader

Crushes Are For School Girls—Daryl Dixon x Georgianna Hawkins (OC)

Scud Frohmeyer:

Look At Me—Scud Frohmeyer x Fem!Reader

Perfect End—Scud Frohmeyer x Fem!Reader

Performance—Scud Frohmeyer x Fem!Reader

Murphy MacManus:

Make A Move—Murphy MacManus x Fem!Reader

The Safety—Murphy MacManus x Fem!Reader

Irish Man In A Closet—Murphy MacManus x Fem!Reader

Thank you all so much for sticking with me this year. I love each and every one of you so much, and I can’t wait to embark into the new year with all of you.

Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays, and happy new year in advance!

[god-mouths]

Scott pilgrim is a modern retelling of Dante’s Inferno, and I want to talk about it

Hi . Brought this up very briefly a while ago but i rewatched spto with friends last night and got my gears turning. I don’t usually make posts like this but It’s been on my mind and I want to share. Here we goooo. Under read more becwuse I wish not to disturb my beloved friends with a long post

First off, let’s start with theeeee obvious.

Say hello to our Dante and Beatrice.

I don’t think I need to go into this first one much, but Scott and Dante are of course the heroes(term used lightly. Scott is not a good person and honestly neither was fuckinh Dante of all people) of their respective tales, going through hell and back to win over this ethereal, “too good to be true” heavenly dream girl. Scott even dies to get her in the end, like Dante venturing down into the depths of hell, dying and then ascending to get to Beatrice. If I wanted to really stretch it I could say the dreamscape is a sort of purgatory but I don’t think there’s enough evidence for that one.

Next,

Our Virgil. What’s up, Wallace.

In the comics Wallace acts as a sort of guide to Scott. We end up seeing him less as the comic progresses, which I find lines up with Virgil having to part ways with Dante before he enters heaven. Not much to say otherwise admittedly. Love you though buddy

Now for the symbolism of hell. Since there are nine circles of hell, it obviously can’t match up one to one with the exes unless we add some of scott’s relationships to the mix, which both doesn’t make sense, causes this analysis to get stupider than it already is, and leaves some characters left over that already don’t fit in to these parallels.

Luckily, however, there are The Seven Deadly Sins. Going to be going in sin order rather than ex order here

Firstly,

MATTHEW PATEL - PRIDE

- the first boyfriend and the first sin very conveniently line up, which threw me off track because I thought the exes would go in the order of the sins. Enyways

- in the movies, comics, and shows, he is insanely flashy with how he presents himself. It’s the entrance, the dances, the expressive clothing (“that guy’s dressed as a pirate” “pirates are in this year!”, modifying Gideon’s suit to fit his color palette, the outfit he wore while kicking gideon’s ass). The theatre kid in him essentially

- taking the lead in the musical Knives and Stephen presented him with— they knew how to cater to him, because he views himself as the coolest bitch on the planet. Which honestly he kind of is but don’t tell him this

- so headstrong in his pride that he fucks up. Repeatedly. First to get killed, too cocky, spends all of gideons money “I’ve lost billions!”

- believes he’s entitled to Ramona as soon as he wins the fight against Scott

GIDEON- GREED

- I don’t feel like I have to explain this one but I will because I enjoy him greatly

- CEO, billionaire. Money money money mr rich

- literally “owns” or tries to excersize ownership Ramona in the comics and movie as if she belongs to him— with the glow, or with the chip implanted into her neck with his logo on it.

- has all of his past girlfriends cryogenically frozen. All for him none for anyone else. They should only love meeeeee.

- wants everything for himself in excess. Women, fame, money. Almost considered pride for him also but greed is more fitting

KEN AND KYLE- ENVY AND LUST

- holy shit this image has five pixels so sorry about that I’m on my phone and Google images sucks

- anyways of course they’re sharing sins

- not much to say here as they don’t show up much, and it’s easy to make the argument of envy or lust for ANY of the seven exes. These two were the hardest to figure out. Not as sure on Envy, but can definetly advocate for lust— playing around with women, thinking they were playing around with Ramona.

TODD- GLUTTONY

- this one was the easiest one for me. Like come on

- breaks vegan edge in the comics, movie, (vegan police), and show (Wallace breakup event 2 dead 5 injured)

- his whole persona revolves around food. Of course gluttony doesn’t always mean food but here it most definetly equates. Even when he’s vegan he always makes it a talking point of how superior he is to others because of this fact, only for it to blow up in his face when his enjoyment of non vegan food catches up to him.

ROXY- WRATH

- a very angry girl to be sure. Takes her emotions out using violence, attacking Ramona the first time she sees her, even though she is going out of the order of the league and supposed to be attacking Scott (although I guess that point is moot because they all think he’s dead at that point)

- “I’m bi-furious” line from the movie deserves a shout out here I think

- (completely justified) Unending rage against Ramona in the show, and scott in the comics and movies. She is PISSED.

Lastly,

LUCAS LEE- SLOTH

- also one of the easiest ones. Could have made an argument for pride (tries to prove he can land a sick ollie so hard that he dies) or greed (movie star who lives in huge mansion), but sloth ultimately fit the bill the best.

- even before we get into his reoccurring theme of “whatever” in the show, it’s pretty evident in the comics and movie that he doesn’t care enough to extend effort. He tells Scott he’ll leave him alone and say his ass got kicked if Scott gave him a twenty dollar bill, sends his stunt doubles to fight Scott in his stead.

- onto the show, he lets his stardom slip out of his fingers with his attitude, not even caring to read or memorize the script anymore (“is that why half the lines in your last film were ‘Let’s Party’?” “I uhh, read the title.” Etc). Just spends all his time messing around and skateboarding. The title of his episode is literally “Whatever”. He doesn’t give enough of a shit to care. Which. Respect I guess

Extra; the exes ARE referred to as “the seven deadly chumps” in the show.

In conclusion;

[daughtersofzaun]

I want to make a long post about the hyperspecificities of arcane that have been eating me alive for the past couple months, for a couple reasons. For one, they are all I have been thinking about since I watched the show. It felt almost disoreinting how represented I felt while watching season one, and that was a new feeling for me. The second reason is because I see other people saying the same thing, and for the first time in a really long time, I dont feel alone in my relationship with my sister.

I heavily relate to Jinx. Part of that is the fact that she is a really good representation of CPTSD and BPD, and that isn’t something that is very common to see in my opinion, but more importantly, its her relationship with Vi. My parents are very good people and I never doubt that they did their best, but they never really cared much about me, and I was neglected. Most of the time it was just emotionally, so you know not really the end of the world, but it did mean that my sister was my only person. I have written a couple paragraphs on here about Jinx where I really have just been projecting, but let me write out the specifics of my situation and then you can try and spot the difference:

I had just turned 13 (powder act 1 is estimated to be 11/12?). I was already fairly mentally ill and it was probably going to get worse but it wasnt the worst thing in the world. I had my family that I’m sure loved me but I didn’t see or believe that at the time. I was really not doing that well, but I did have my sister. My sister was smart, and funny, and so insanley creative and talented and I absolutley worshipped that girl. Everything she did, I wanted to do it too and be just as good as her (I never was). And then my sister (who was 15 at the time) killed herself. And while this is obviously not the same situation as Jinx and Vi, I can’t help but obssess over the similarities. When my sister left me I felt so betrayed. I was angry that I was now alone, and even more than that I was angry that I had failed as a sister. After spending my entire life just trying to be like her and be like someone that she could like as much as i liked her, I was cut off. I no longer got to try anymore. It was essentially the world telling me game over. And I felt like I was the one that died. The disconnect from myself, my childhood, and even my name, were all things that I have spent years thinking about. And not only did I disconnect, but I went a little crazy. I ruined relationships, I destroyed any semblance of my old identity, and I yelled. A lot. I only started season one of Arcane back in November, coincidentally less than two weeks after the seven year aniversary of my sisters death, and holy shit. I saw me and her in jinx and vi before even finishing act one, and then I saw us even more in the following acts. Season two was maybe even worse. Some of the reasons for this I just physically cannot write out (maybe for lack of the right words, or maybe I just don’t want to), but one thing in episode eight was just discustingly specific. CW nightmares and suicide for the following btw:

For a couple years after my sisters suicide, I got these horrible reccuring nightmares. And they weren’t all the same, but the generaly plot line was that my sister was about to kill herself and there was nothing I could do about it. One of the specific ones- and you might see where this is going- was this nightmare where I was in some type of cell (occasionally a traditional one, other times something a litte wierder and more dream-like) and my sister was going to leave to go kill herself, and she woud tell me this. And there was nothing I could do. Anyways, there was something crazy gutwrenching about seeing the nightmare that made you afraid to go to sleep for years animated in a tv show with charcters you’ve already projected your entire life on.

Also, sibling grief is not a commonly relatable type of issue. Especially not sibling grief that was violent and traumatic. And after feeling so alone for so many years, seeing myself represented and seeing other people relate to these characters has been really intense.

I’m probably not ever going to be done rambling about them, but for now I think I am.

[fallingrealms16]

Sterek Fic Recs PART 7 <333

I cannot believe I have read enough sterek fic to be able to make a part 7?!?! It's been over a year and between work and my social life all I do is read, read, read!

Well here it is, sterek fic recs part 7, LETS GO !!

(ps. this is a long post so buckle in)

This Might Be Irony by thepsychicclam

38K Words // Chapters: 1/1 // Hits: 190K // COMPLETED

//MATURE//

Stiles and Derek have been close friends since the Hale siblings moved in next door after their parents' death. But Derek's in the popular group, he's a star baseball player, and he dates popular Pep Squad captain Jennifer Blake. Stiles doesn't have any of that, just his skateboard and a hopeless crush on Derek (oh yeah, and his Vote Lydia Martin Prom Queen button). As prom and the baseball state championship grow closer, Stiles and Derek start rekindling their friendship. And it all begins with two white boards.

But Then What... by Stoney

24K Words // Chapters: 3/3 // Hits: 182K // COMPLETED

//EXPLICIT//

Senior year is almost over, and all Stiles needs to do is keep his head down to survive. A teacher calls in a favor, leaving him stuck tutoring Derek Hale, one of the most popular jocks in school and a member of a group of douchecanoes who have bullied Stiles for years. He's someone Stiles totally hates. Totally. Like, doesn't like him even a little bit. DEFINITELY isn't attracted to him. Except that is a total lie. Fuck his life, seriously.

When You're Close I Feel the Sparks by Leslie_Knope

39K Words // Chapters: 4/4 // Hits: 156K // COMPLETED

//MATURE//

The guy is hot as hell, sure—leather jacket and glasses, Jesus, be still Stiles' poor, bisexual, beating heart—but more importantly, it must really suck being new on the first day of senior year. “We’re adopting him,” he decides, tugging Scott and Kira by the elbow in that direction. “Let’s go.”

What To Expect When You're Expecting (A Litter of Sourwolf Puppies) by Brego_Mellon_Nin

17K Words // Chapters: 1/1 // Hits: 176K // COMPLETED

//EXPLICIT//

The Sheriff sighs and plops down in a chair opposite his son. “Stiles, I’m going crazy here. We need to get you to a doctor. You sleep like you’re trying to get into the Guinness Book of World Records, and your eating habits are bizarre! You vomit around the clock and for some reason only the tea your mother used when she was pregnant will get your stomach to settle down for any length of time. Is there something you aren’t telling me? Can werewolves get guys pregnant? I’ve noticed how you look at that Hale kid-” Stiles meeps and flails, sloshing tea down his front. Luckily it’s not scalding anymore, but still hot, so he jumps up and wrenches his shirt off. “God, dad, no! Guys can’t get pregnant, that’s ridiculous, it’s like...” “Like werewolves being real?” his dad questions, deadpan.

More Than Biology by DiscontentedWinter

45K Words // Chapters: 13/13 // Hits: 60K // COMPLETED

//EXPLICIT//

Stiles is a teenaged, unmated omega whose sixteenth birthday is fast approaching. Derek is the beta who loves him, and promises to claim him. And then it all goes to hell.

SPECIAL FIC RECS:

The Soul Knows What the Heart Wants by isthatbloodonhisshirt (wasterella)

163K Words // Chapters: 9/9 // Hits: 74K // COMPLETED

//MATURE//

“Holy—shit,” Stiles breathed, Bacon stopping in what he was doing, still staring at him intently, as if begging him to understand, for someone to finally understand. Stiles felt like he’d been electrocuted and he leapt out of his chair, kneeling in front of Bacon and grabbing at his furry face. “Holy shit! Oh my God, are you—wait, holy—you’re not fucking with me, right?!” Bacon let out two quick barks, which Stiles chose to interpret as ‘no.’ “Oh my God, are you a real person in there?!” Stiles shouted in the wolf’s face, staring him right in the eye. He was still holding the wolf’s head with both hands, but Bacon dipped his muzzle in confirmation and Stiles officially lost his mind. “Oh my God!” he shouted again, releasing Bacon to clutch at his own hair. “Oh my God! Dude, for real?! You’re—holy shit! Holy shit!” He didn’t know how to react to this news. He had no fucking idea how to react. This was a person?! But how?! How was this a person?! People didn’t just turn into wolves!

Whisper Through the Din by HyperLittleNori (Shiguresan)

38K Words // Chapters: 4/4 // Hits: 11K // COMPLETED

//EXPLICIT//

He wasn’t good at knowing the best thing to say, knowing how to comfort someone. He never had been. That had always been his mom or Laura. He thought of them then, of his mom’s warm eyes and Laura’s thoughtful expression. He remembered that night she’d tucked him into the Camaro, smoke still clinging to their hair and clothes, remembered what she’d said and he thought those words would stick with him until the day he died. He watched Stiles for a long heartbeat; his own head slightly cocked as he listened to Stiles’s heart simmer back from the enraged crescendo it’d worked itself into. When it settled back to something sad and steady, like the vibration on a string instrument, Derek offered an uncertain echo of Laura’s words. “We’ll work this out, Stiles.”

This isn’t the OK!Cupid I thought I was signing up for by changez

21K Words // Chapters: 12/12 // Hits: 8K // COMPLETED

//MATURE//

Stiles and Scott are enjoying their relatively quiet life on the East Coast, but everything is turned upside down by the appearance of a very familiar black wolf stalking the nearby woods. A lone hunter forces Derek to make a last second decision to give Stiles the bite to save his life, but the circumstances bring a seemingly fairytale legend to reality. Derek feels remorse for what he’s done to Stiles, but before he can make amends, he’s captured. Stiles will have to come to terms with more than just the bite before it’s too late.

[spacerockfloater]

holy fuck this is crazy okay so i’ve been thinking about studying at national and kapodistrian university of athens and i’ve been searching around the internet seeing people’s opinions on the school and i saw a post you made about studying there which is such a coincidence because we are moots! anyways i just want to ask how do you like it there? is there anything i should know before applying?

OH MY GOSH, OH MY GOSH, OH MY GOSH!!! I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS!!!

Okay SO, I have a bachelor’s in classical studies and linguistics, I think Americans call that a double major? That thing was EXCRUCIATING, it was 60 subjects in 4 years, plus an internship and a thesis. My master’s, which is in computational linguistics and data analytics, has been even harder. I have too much to say about this topic, so I’ll categorise all the shit I need to speak on and hopefully this will help you!

Academics: The education is top notch. There’s a reason it’s one of the top 100 universities in the world in many lists. There’s no department that has a bad reputation. You’ll have to do a lot of individual studying, though. We’ve got well equipped libraries. The professors are really good at what they do. I’m not sure whether you wish to pursue a bachelor’s or a master’s, so keep in mind that we have almost no Bscs where the lessons are delivered in the English language and only a few Master’s, which I believe are about Medicine, Law etc. Almost always, the lessons are conducted in Greek and you’ll need a Greek language certificate to get accepted to a greek university. UNLESS OF COURSE you’re only here for Erasmus or you’ve managed to find an english delivered programme, in which case you’ll be totally fine. Just make sure you check!

Finance: All bachelors’ are free. Almost all masters’ are 100% free and if they aren’t, they don’t cost more than 2k euros for the whole duration of your studies, and even then you can apply for an exemption. Now, since everything is free, there’s no such thing as financial aid or loans for students here, so you’ll have to find a way to cover your life expenses yourself. I’d say the average person needs about 800 euros - 1k per month in order to lead a somewhat decent life in Athens without a roommate. Your uni schedule will allow you to work (if your visa allows you to) since attendance is not mandatory here, except if you have any labs. Also, as a student you’ll have major discounts almost everywhere, so make sure you ask about it everywhere you are.

Premises: Please bear in mind that the actual university buildings in Greece suck MAJOR ass. They’re old, they’re brutalist, they’re bare, they’ve got no heating or air conditioning and so on. They are horrible. Generally, the more prestigious a faculty is, the worse the condition of its establishment. Picture soviet union buildings. There are very few dorms available in Athens, so make sure to check if you meet the criteria for one or if you’ll need to arrange for accommodation yourself. Mind you, finding an apartment to rent in Athens is gonna be very challenging. The house market is so bad that it is unusual for Greeks to leave their parents’ house before getting married, usually in their 30s, so roommates ain’t really a thing here. The university does offer free breakfast, lunch and dinner every day though (there are certain financial conditions that dictate whether one is entitled to free food or not but they’re so lenient that almost everyone meets them, like your family’s annual income not being more than 100k or smth).

Administration: Now, when it comes to the administration of the university, it is quite decent. You’ll hear a lot of people complain about this, but honestly we Greeks do love to complain. The administration gets things done fast usually, as long as you make sure to have the right paperwork for your requests. We’ve also got a great career office, helped me land 2 different office jobs when I was younger.

Social life: Your peers are going to adore you. Young people here LOVE foreign students, everyone will want to be friends with you. We’ve got a bunch of different clubs you can join and nightlife in Athens is awesome. Winter kinda sucks ass, but spring and summer are totally amazing and you’ll be able to visit a shit ton of places. Greeks are generally insanely friendly and helpful. If you are a POC or obviously LGBT+ (meaning that people could clearly guess you belong in the community by glancing at you), I have to warn you that some old fucks or trashy people may glance strangely at you at the bus stop or the superkmarket, but the people you’ll actually have and want to socialise with here (fellow students, people your age etc.) will love you. The youth is very progressive here, and while old and middle aged folks can be a pain, they may scowl at you but nothing worse.

ALL IN ALL: EKPA or UOA is a great university, meaning that it is a very good place to acquire knowledge. Our facilities are kinda shit, though. You can only accept it for its inner beauty, lol. Our libraries and lessons are filled with material in the Greek language mostly. Education here is free. The university has a lot to offer and our teachers are extremely experienced and knowledgeable. You’ll almost never have homework, your grade in a lesson will usually depend 100% on your finals. You’ll have to study a lot. Athens and Greece in general are very beautiful. The people here are very loving and understanding and you’ll have an amazing time here. HOWEVER, if you’re looking for an aesthetically pleasing college life, I recommend you skip it. It’s nearly impossible to romanticise EKPA. Will you have a good and fun experience here and will you come out a very educated person? Yup. Will you have a DREAMY college life and reality you’ll long for in the years to come? Fuck no!

Please feel free to ask ANY questions, I’m more than happy to answer. And if you do decide to come here, ΚΑΛΗ ΑΡΧΗ! ❤️

[desiccatedwithering]

WIP: bat!Eddie

Happy International Bat Appreciation Day! Figured I might as well use @batboysxprompts's Bat to the Bone event as an excuse to post a 1k snippet of my post-s4 bat!Eddie WIP (unbeta'd so ignore any mistakes) 🦇

“Ok,” Steve says, dragging the word out, hands raised to show that he’s unarmed. “How did you get into my house? And where did you come from? Did you, like, escape from a zoo? Should I be calling animal control?”

Eddie lets out an annoyed screech, and Steve jumps.

“...You don’t have rabies, do you?” he asks, eyeing him suspiciously.

Eddie grumbles and shakes his head, giving Steve a look that hopefully comes across as offended.

Steve drags his hand through his hair and mutters, “I’m going insane. There’s no way a bat just shook its head in response to my question. Maybe this is a hallucination. Weird fucking Vecna vision, though…”

Ok. Steve clearly isn’t going to guess the truth on his own. (Which is fair, honestly, because even after getting a crash course in the craziness of the past few years, Eddie doubts that he’d believe that a bat that randomly showed up in his house could actually be a person. It’s still extremely inconvenient, though.)

He wracks his brain, trying to think of some way to communicate with Steve when he can’t actually talk to him, and— Oh. He’s kind of an idiot, isn’t he?

He starts squeaking. Short short shot, long long long, short short short. Pause. Repeat.

Steve squints up at him. “Am I actually going insane, or are you squeaking at me in morse code?”

Eddie nods so furiously his whole body bobs up and down with it, letting out a high, fast chitter. Yes yes yes yes yes!

“Do SOS again,” Steve orders, still staring.

Eddie does.

Steve literally falls to the floor. He doesn’t seem to even notice, just sits sprawled on the carpet, eyes fixed unblinking on Eddie. “Holy shit. Ok. Uh, I don’t know any other morse code, so uh, gonna have to stick with yes or no questions for now.”

Thank fuck, since Eddie hadn’t really considered what might’ve happened if Steve had learned morse code or picked up a guide in… however long Eddie was out of commission for.

“Starting off with a stupid question: You can understand everything I say, right?”

There’s a brief pause where they both stare at each other expectantly.

Hey, big boy, you gonna tell me what I should do for yes and no? He gives Steve a pointed look then squeaks another SOS.

Steve blushes and smiles sheepishly. “Shit, yeah, sorry about that. Um. One squeak for ‘yes,’ two for ‘no,’ three for ‘I don’t know,’ and four for ‘Too complicated for a yes or no.’ Sound good?”

Eddie squeaks once. Honestly, that’s surprisingly thorough.

Steve lets out a sudden, hysterical burst of laughter, running his hand through his hair. “Fuck, I can’t believe this is my life. This is crazy,” he breathes. Then he looks up at Eddie again and says, louder, “I have it on good authority that I always ask dumb questions, so don’t judge me too much. Are you a normal bat that somehow gained the ability to understand English?”

No.

“Are you… from around here?”

Yes, Eddie squeaks. Then, corrects, No. Then, shaking his head in frustration, It’s too complicated for a yes or no.

“Huh,” Steve says, squinting again. “So that sounded like yes and no?”

Yes.

“Alright… Were you born around here?”

Yes.

“But you’re not from here.”

That’s not a question, but Eddie still squeaks that it’s too complicated.

Steve adjusts so he’s sitting criss-cross applesauce, drumming his fingers against his knees. “Fuck, do we have to switch to charades or something? I don’t—”

Yes! Eddie squeaks because oh Steve is a genius. Eddie’s literally a bat right now. He was made for this.

He leaps off the chandelier—falls, really, since he’d just been awkwardly holding on with his thumbs, wings wrapped around it—and takes to the air. Sure, he’s never done this before, but hopefully it’s as instinctual as flying was. He makes a wide arc, aiming for the chandelier again. At the last second, he tucks in one wing. The shift in his center of gravity makes his stomach swoop for a moment, before his feet hit the metal and latch on. Then he’s staring at Steve’s baffled face upside down. He spreads his wings wide, shaking them a little in a sort of Ta da! gesture.

Yes, he squeaks again, for good measure, wrapping his wings around himself in a very bizarre self-hug.

He’s got bat ears now, so he doesn’t have any trouble picking up Steve’s mumbled, “Yes to charades…” His head snaps up, eyes wide. He points at Eddie. “You flipped upside down after agreeing to charades.”

Yes.

“You know about the Upside Down?”

Yes!

“Just to make sure we’re on the same page: like, the Upside Down, which is what we call an alternate dimension filled with monsters.”

Eddie’s not sure if his eye roll gets across or if it’s the exasperated tone of his answering Yes, but Steve also rolls his eyes in response.

“Jeez, sorry for trying to get clarification from the enormous bat that appeared in my house and started communicating with me in morse code.”

Eddie’s ears droop in a hopefully apologetic looking expression, and he lets out a low chitter.

“Don’t worry about it. I get it’s probably frustrating that you’re talking to me rather than someone smarter.” Before Eddie can even think of a way to push back on that, Steve’s moving on: “Ok, so you were born here, but you’re from the Upside Down? Is that what you were trying to say before?”

Yes! Eddie squeaks, hoping that if it seems enthusiastic enough, Steve will realize that he’s doing an incredible job with this. Someone else probably would have called animal control, or wouldn’t be able to figure out Eddie’s mixed messages and ask the right follow up questions.

“Now, when you say you were born here, is that, like, here as in Hawkins or this planet or—? Shit, sorry. Were you born around Hawkins?”

Yes.

“Did you… live in Hawkins before being in the Upside Down?”

Yes.

“Have you always been a bat?”

No.

“Were you a person?”

Oh, Eddie could kiss him. He barely stops himself from dropping from the chandelier to curl up in Steve’s lap, and that’s only because he thinks Steve might have some trauma-based unpleasant reactions to a bat shaped creature suddenly diving at him.

Yes.

Steve takes a deep breath, voice wavering just a bit as he asks, “Did I know you when you were a person?”

Yes!

This whole time, Steve’s been curling into himself more and more, knees tucked to his chest, arm wrapped around his shins, hands clutching his sleeves with white knuckles. He’s balled up smaller than Eddie’s ever seen him. Looking terrified in a way he didn’t when facing down actual monsters and the literal end of the world. He looks like Eddie’s next answer has the potential to shatter him completely.

“…Eddie?” he whispers.

Yes! Eddie squeaks, loud enough that Steve jumps. He wants to repeat it, wants to say it over and over because honestly he never really imagined that someone would figure it out, let alone with a single conversation—but that’d be confusing, so he settles for a high pitched trill to convey his excitement.

[michaelcult]

I feel a bit silly writing this since this is quite literally my first post however, i have no where else to say this so here i go.

I still can’t believe it’s been a month since he passed. I really don’t want to believe it but i guess it is how it is. It’s been a year since i got into buck tick and oh my god, getting into them was the best decision i’ve ever made. I made great mutuals online and their music just always managed to help me in a way, you know? I wish i had gotten into them sooner but im just glad i got into them either way although my friends think im weird for liking old men .. LMAO.

Anyways, I still remember listening to dress and romance for the first time ( I used to get romance and kagerou mixed up ) and OH MY DAYSSS I WAS OBSESSED. These 2 songs made me get into them and it’s like really hard for me to get into bands so obviously i was gonna start obsessing over them 🤭.

I also think buck-tick made me find myself..i had absolutely no style or good music taste before i got into them and now im goth , once i looked more into them and getting to know more about each members i listened to the kind of music they liked and holy shit my music taste became so much better.

I wanna thank all the members for having such a huge impact on me at such a young age. I’ll never forget them even if they just stay as a 4 member band. I know it’ll never be the same without Atsushi though, i really do. I miss him dearly and he’ll always have a place in my heart. They all will.

[zephfair]

GO-FHRM Chapter 9

Yeah, this crap is still going. Still fluff, still nonsense, still Gansey/Ronan but some of us are still trying to get a threesome going so idk. Out-of-character? Probably. Boring as fuck? Absolutely. Still T-rated.

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8

Chapter 9 below the cut.

Hey, you! Thanks for reading! I haven't written anything this indulgent since Will You Accept This Rose? and that monster I edited the shit out of before I posted. This is pure first draft, and I'm too ashamed to post my yearning on AO3. Thank YOU for reading this mess!💖

Chapter 9

Ronan was already striding into the goat barn by the time Gansey spotted him. He hurried after and found Ronan methodically punching one of the feed bags.

“Well, I suppose that’s better than hitting the wall,” Gansey said weakly.

Ronan turned and with one blow splintered one of the boards of the stall.

“Jesus, Lynch!” Gansey caught his arm before he could try another swing.

“I’m fine,” Ronan gritted out from between clenched teeth.

Gansey cradled his fist anyway, pried his fingers open to check on their motion, clicked his tongue over the red, raw knuckles.

“I just can’t…” Ronan choked out and Gansey looked up in alarm. “I just can’t believe you and Parrish were fucking together for years.”

“We were,” Gansey said. “I don’t know what you want me to say.”

“I don’t want you to say anything,” Ronan roared but even as he pulled back, he took his hand away from Gansey’s grip so gently. “It just figures. I knew this with you and me was too good to be true. I figured it just meant you’d fuck around with me and then leave. I never thought it’d be this bad.”

“Lynch. Ronan. I can’t change what happened with me and Adam. But I’m here with you right now. You and he, that’s past. And now Adam and I are past too.”

Ronan turned his back to Gansey who politely ignored the sniffling sounds.

“I don’t know everything that happened between you, I mean, you’ve mentioned an ex from your high school days that broke your heart. I assume you meant Adam. But you must really hate him to still be holding onto that hate even now.”

“I don’t hate him,” Ronan said, still keeping his back to Gansey. “I hated him for a long time, yeah, but it’d be stupid to still hate him for acting like a typical 19-year-old dickhead when that’s exactly what he was.”

“That’s… surprisingly mature,” Gansey said. “But you, in there, the things you said to him…”

“Just because I don’t hate him doesn’t mean I have to like him,” Ronan said, finally turning and wiping his eyes. “I couldn’t believe my fucking eyes when he got out of that car. I thought, I don’t even know. I thought he must be in town for his family? Maybe his fuckin’ dad finally kicked it and he was here to dance on the grave? He… we always talked like that, you know, bust each others’ balls. But when you said his name like that, and I saw your face and realized that he was your ex...it was just too much, holy shit. I don’t even know what he did to you, but I can still be mad at him.”

“You don’t have to be angry with him on my behalf. I’m quite capable of doing that myself,” Gansey said. Ronan snorted wetly and looked away. “But I appreciate you wanting to defend my honor.”

“Are you going back to him?” Ronan asked bluntly.

Gansey said, “He agreed to wait in the house until I talk with you—”

“No, I mean are you two making up? Are you going to dump me for him?”

“Ronan! No! That’s not even in my mind,” Gansey said. “He and I just need to talk over some things. I feel like I need to explain exactly what I am thinking, whether or not he agrees with it. Hopefully it will offer some form of closure.”

“Closure,” Ronan parroted. “That must be nice. Not just dumped and ghosted. Just watch out for his manipulative aide.”

“I’m well aware of that,” Gansey sighed.

“Oh yeah, I forgot, ‘cause you’ve been together forever,” Ronan slumped to sit on the feed bags, all of the fight suddenly taken out of him.

Gansey truly didn’t know what to say, but he walked closer and touched Ronan’s shoulder. Ronan just lifted his head and nuzzled into Gansey’s stomach, wrapping his arms around his hips to hold him closer. Gansey held him and ran his fingers through Ronan’s hair.

“Can you tell me why you’re so upset?” Gansey asked quietly. “Use your words?”

He felt Ronan shake his head then shrug. “I just can’t believe you two, the only two guys I’ve ever loved, were together and I was sitting here, the loser, all alone.”

It broke Gansey’s heart. He held Ronan tighter, saddened but also weirdly touched that Ronan let himself be so vulnerable. “Well, you’re not alone now,” he whispered.

“No, now I’ve got one asshole in the barn and another asshole in the house bogarting my fuckin’ dog,” Ronan said, pulling back with one last squeeze of Gansey. He aggressively rubbed his eyes. “Can’t believe she’s a fuckin’ traitor.”

“Chainsaw definitely does adore Adam,” Gansey allowed. “But I’m sure you can win her affections back. You’re the one who feeds her. And gives her treats.”

“I feed you. And I’m happy to give you treats,” Ronan said, wet eyes looking up into Gansey’s.

“And you have my affections,” Gansey assured him with a little smile, then leaned down and kissed him. Ronan stretched up and deepened the kiss. They stayed there together for a long moment. “I do have to talk to Adam. And I appreciate you letting him stay here tonight until we get things resolved.”

Ronan sighed and leaned his forehead against Gansey again. “Good luck with that. I’ll take care of the chores, if you want to go. And if he wants to leave after you dump his ass again, Persephone left us dinner in the fridge.”

“Thank you,” Gansey said and reluctantly backed out of his embrace. “Don’t be too long.”

He was deep in thought when he arrived back in the house. Adam wasn’t in the kitchen, but his overcoat and suit jacket were carefully hung over a chair. Gansey didn’t call out, just walked through the downstairs until he found Adam.

He was kneeling in front of the fireplace building up the fire in the sitting room. Chainsaw had abandoned her bed to press right up against him still. Gansey had to smile at the picture they made. Adam heard something and saw Gansey then stood.

“Let me guess. Lynch ran away to go hit something?” he said cuttingly.

“He has a lot of emotions to process,” Gansey said diplomatically. “This has been a very lot to process for all of us.”

“Gansey, what are you doing here? Why don’t you come home? With me?” Adam moved toward him, but Gansey gently dodged his embrace.

“I have told you. I should have been more explicit and told you this a long time ago. For that, and for leaving so suddenly, I am sorry,” Gansey said. “But Adam, you have ignored me and our relationship for a quite a while. I’m tired of taking a back seat to your job.”

“So you’re putting on an old flannel shirt and pretending to be a farmer? Just because Lynch is letting you play here doesn’t mean you’re going to enjoy it.”

“I am surprised I enjoy the farm work but it’s actually very validating to have someone who wants me to be here. Who makes time for me. Who not only listens to my passions but actually wants to partake in them. He supports me.”

Adam stepped back from the onslaught of Gansey’s words, not that they were angry but just the depth of emotion that he showed for once. Gansey knew his polished veneer was slipping, but he didn’t care.

“Lynch and I were best friends, but now we’re grown up. I feel like he values me. And he wants to be with me. That’s more than I can say about you the past, well, few years actually.”

“You never said anything,” Adam retorted. “If you were feeling so neglected, why didn’t you tell me?”

“I tried. I pointed out when you canceled dates, when you refused to go out with me, when emergencies at work happened and you had to spend all those extra hours at all times of day,” Gansey blurted out. “I thought it was just part of growing up and being part of a relationship. By the time I realized that you didn’t even want to spend time with me, I just didn’t know what to say. You are so adamant about keeping your career the number one priority. It makes no room for me.”

Adam tried to interrupt but Gansey held up a hand and went on. “You made me feel worthless. Like you didn’t value me. No matter how understanding I was, no matter how I tried to justify it, the truth is you were giving up time with me to be at work. And I am tired of feeling that way.”

“Oh Gansey,” Adam said and took him into his arms before Gansey could dodge. He stood stiffly while Adam’s well-remembered body curled around him. He found himself relax just a little, just from muscle memory. Adam smelled wonderful. Gansey recognized his most expensive cologne that Adam reserved for the most important occasions. His narrow frame felt familiar and good against Gansey and when he rubbed his smooth cheek against Gansey’s, his soft lips following, Gansey finally pulled back.

“No,” he said quietly but firmly. “You’re not going to change things by getting physical with me.”

“I know,” Adam said in the same quiet voice. “I lied to you earlier. Your sister <i>did</i> contact me because she said I needed to finish things with you. But it was something Tad said that made me realize.”

“Tad? Tad at work?”

“Fucking Tad,” Adam sighed. “But yes. He’s been asking why you weren’t calling, why I haven’t been texting you on breaks. I ignored him, but then last night, he brought dinner to my office, made himself at home and told me that he’s glad I finally broke up with you because—and I quote—I could do so much better and find someone way less needy. I told him that was inappropriate, and he had the nerve to remind me that I’ve spent more hours with him since October than you. That, that was eye-opening. Because I fucking hate being around Tad and yet here I was, actively choosing to spend more time at work with him which I hate than spending time at home with you, who I love.”

Adam reached out and brushed his hand against Gansey’s, still not meeting his eyes. “Tad went on to tell me that I shouldn’t let you boss me around and expect me to come when you called. Then he invited me on a ski trip this weekend and said we could share a room.”

“I always told you he has a crush on you,” Gansey said.

“I won’t argue about it again,” Adam said. “But he made me see how selfish I was being. If someone like him could see how I treated you then I guess it was pretty obvious. But I was too oblivious to see it. Or admit it.” He took a deep breath. “I’m sorry.”

Gansey knew how hard it was for Adam to ever say those words. It meant a lot but still.

“If you come back with me,” Adam started then talked quicker when Gansey tried to interrupt. “If you come back with me, I promise I’ll do better. I do appreciate you, Gansey, and I want to show you every day. I’ll spend time with you, I’ll show you how special you are.”

“Adam—”

“I love you, Gansey, and I don’t want us to break up. Please, come home with me.”

“Adam, I—”

“There’s something else,” Adam rushed to speak over him. “I took off work.”

“You what?!”

“I did. We finished the paperwork for the deal last night. I turned everything in this morning. And I told management that I’m taking off until the beginning of the year. And when I come back, I’m only working normal hours. No more 80+ hour weeks. I need to balance work and life, and he actually agreed with me. He was so impressed that I spoke up for myself and my team that he offered me another huge assignment, with the understanding I’ll be working the new hours.”

“Oh Adam,” Gansey sighed. “I’m so proud of you. And happy for you that you finally decided to take control and manage your career. That’s incredible. But—”

“Don’t say but. Please think about it. Imagine how good it can be again. We can spend every evening together. Go out on the weekends. Travel when you want.”

“And my research?”

“I’ll help you this time. Like our sophomore year when we drove up to Maine and hiked looking for that rock formation?”

“Adam, I appreciate that you’re making changes. And it is so good for you, and you’re going to see the difference. But, I can’t come back.”

“Because of Lynch?” Adam’s voice was back to ice cold.

“No, because of me. I know that I’m worth the effort that I’m willing to put in. Our relationship was so one-sided for so long, that I would have to see the changes before—”

“Then you’re not ruling us out? If I prove I’ve changed, that I don’t want to keep waking up alone. Not just alone but without you in particular. And everything you do for me.”

Gansey was shocked not by the words but by the sincerity on Adam’s face. Adam was looking him right in the eye, and he spoke with more naked longing than Gansey had ever heard from him. It was telling because Gansey knew that Adam Parrish didn’t bargain and Adam Parrish certainly didn’t yearn.

“I’m touched, Adam, I truly am. But when you gave me the ultimatum to come back or be done, I knew what I had to do.”

“And you fell right into Ronan.”

Gansey sighed. “Nothing happened with Ronan until we were done. But I’m beginning to believe you still have unresolved feelings for him, the way you keep bringing him up.”

“The only feelings I have for Lynch are disgust and regret,” then Adam made a gesture he had many times over the years. Without seeming to realize it, he used one hand to circle his fingers around his opposite wrist, touching right where his watch would be. Gansey had seen him do it many times when he was upset or angry or needed comfort.

Now, it made him wonder. Adam had always had a beautiful watch, a timepiece from a maker Gansey didn’t know, but he’d told Gansey it was a graduation present and left it at that. Even when Gansey bought him an expensive watch as an anniversary gift, he only wore it occasionally and kept his old watch for every other day.

“Did Lynch buy you that watch?” he asked suddenly. Adam’s fingers froze and he slowly dropped them.

“It was a present for my high school graduation.”

“From Lynch,” Gansey was sure now. “I’m surprised, from your reaction to each other earlier, that you would keep something from him.”

“Let’s not talk about Lynch,” Adam stepped over to him again, but Gansey shook his head.

“We need to talk about him sometime since we’re staying in his home.”

“I never thought I’d be at the Barns again,” Adam said softly.

“I’d bet you have a lot of good memories here.”

Adam glanced down at Chainsaw, who was still looking up at him with adoring big brown eyes. “Guess I do,” he said finally.

“Well, I think it’s a good idea for you to spend the night. I’d hate for you to be driving back so late. And,” he took a deep breath, “it might be a good idea for you both to talk. While we’re clearing the air.”

Adam’s jaw took on the stubborn tightness it did when he wanted to argue. Gansey just turned away. “I’m going to start dinner. You can make yourself comfortable or first, move your car down to the house.”

Gansey kept on walking and ignored the shocked, “<i>You’re</i> cooking dinner?!”

He really only had to take out the casserole dish and pop it into the oven. Then he put together a salad that he was rather proud of thanks to his recent practice. Persephone had even left them a homemade pie to serve for dessert.

Adam passed through the kitchen several times without a word, just staring so hard that it made Gansey feel like a spectacle. Ronan timed it perfectly as he stomped into the mudroom right when Gansey took the heavy dish out of the oven.

“What the hell is that?” Ronan asked. “It smells like shit.”

“I don’t know exactly,” Gansey admitted. “But I think it smells delicious.”

Adam sniffed theatrically from where he waited at the table. “Smells like shepherd’s pie.”

“Fuck, that’s what it is,” Ronan muttered. “Stupid psychics always butting their noses into my business.”

Gansey put down the dish on the table then poked it with a serving spoon. “I’ve never had shepherd’s pie that looks like this.”

“It’s Persephone’s version,” Adam said.

“And his fucking favorite,” Ronan said.

“Oh,” Gansey said. “How fortuitous. Lynch, are you joining us? Sit down.”

Ronan sat, and dinner proceeded. Even though he grumbled and complained, he ate just as much as Gansey did. Adam even had thirds. The pie also made Adam smile brighter than Gansey had seen in years.

“Let me guess,” Gansey said as he let Adam cut his own piece. “Your favorite?”

“I can’t believe how much I missed Persephone’s cooking. It’s better even than I remembered,” Adam said.

Gansey cleared his throat. “Is there anything else you remember about Henrietta that’s good?”

“Yeah, Parrish. What about the three or was it four jobs you worked? And that nasty-ass little apartment—”

“The nasty-ass little apartment that your church rented to me?” Adam snapped back.

Gansey pinched the bridge of his nose. “I give up trying to make you two be civil to one another. Do what you will.” He pushed his chair back and started clearing the table.

As he carried the first load to the sink, he was surprised that it was Adam who said, “How’s your brothers? Are they still in D.C.?”

“Nope, Boston.”

“That’s a big change.”

“Dicklan finally fell in love and moved to be with her. Matty went to school up there and stayed.”

“Wow, so Declan actually settled down?”

“Sure did. Wife, house, 2.3 kids and all.”

“Isn’t that supposed to be 2.5 kids?”

“No, she’s only in her first trimester,” Ronan said primly and Gansey had to stifle a laugh.

“So you’re Uncle Ronan?” Adam said.

“They love me,” Ronan boasted.

“I can see it,” Adam said then hastened to explain, “I mean that you’re basically a child so you can relate.”

Both Ronan and Gansey snorted, but with different intentions.

Ronan hip-checked him when he brought the rest of the dirty dishes and helped him load the dishwasher. Adam brought his glass and hesitated before handing it to Gansey. Gansey just thanked him.

“Ronan, why don’t you make sure Declan’s room is ready for Adam to stay?” Gansey suggested. “I’m going to shower.”

He left the two staring at each other and went to shower. When he slipped into the master bedroom to dress, Ronan was standing by the window.

“You okay? Did you two fight some more after I left?”

“Nope. I pointed at Declan’s room, he’s stayed there before, and then I came in here.”

“Very cordial,” Gansey praised. “Are you showering next?”

“I guess,” Ronan turned. “Did you guys get your talking all done?”

“For now. We didn’t discuss any of the logistics of how we’ll actually handle all the details. I mean, we own our condo together and we’ll have all our property to divide…”

“I mean, did you talk about whatever it was that made you break up?”

“Yes.”

“And did he try to get you back? Of course he fucking did.”

“Ronan, I told you, I’m not going back.”

“I’ve seen the way he looks at you. I know that look.”

“You should know as well as anyone that you can’t just fall out of love or feelings with someone in a few days.”

Ronan sighed and dropped his forehead onto Gansey’s bare shoulder. Gansey patted his back. “Go take a shower. I’ll make you some cocoa.”

“Make it a Henrietta special.”

“Blue has ruined your palate,” Gansey teased.

Ronan just sighed again.

Adam walked quietly into the kitchen as Gansey waited for the milk to heat. “Would you like some hot chocolate?” Gansey asked.

“Sure,” Adam said, joining him at the counter. “It is so weird seeing you be so domestic.”

“I think I’m offended,” but Gansey smiled.

“Not in a bad way. Just, you didn’t used to ever cook or make us hot drinks at night.”

“No, but you were rarely home in time for dinner and you never drank anything with sugar after noon.”

Adam’s silence showed that he couldn’t argue the allegation. “Do you want alcohol in yours?” Gansey asked.

“He turning you into an alcoholic too?”

“I haven’t seen any evidence that Ronan is an alcoholic,” Gansey said. “It was Blue who taught me how to make their Henrietta cocoa.”

Adam repeated the name with a smirk. “Leave it to Blue.”

“So you dated her as well?” Gansey asked as he handed Adam his mug.

Adam winced, took a sip of the hot cocoa and winced again. Gansey waited patiently. “I did,” Adam finally admitted. “She worked at Nino’s. She was so pretty and so lively, always putting the Aglionby assholes in their place. We only went out for a few weeks before she told me it wasn’t going to work. Apparently, I spent all my time engrossed in homework and at my jobs and didn’t have any time left over for her.”

“Imagine that,” Gansey muttered into his mug. Adam looked at him sharply and he shrugged. “Did you have the same problem when you dated Ronan?”

“I heard my name. What are you two chucklefucks talking about now?” Ronan stalked in and sidled up behind Gansey so he could wrap one arm around his waist and grab his cocoa with the other while he leaned on the counter.

“We were talking about Adam dating Blue and then you,” Gansey said.

“You jealous he got a date with the munchkin and you couldn’t?” Ronan teased.

“You… you wanted to date Blue?” Adam shut his eyes. “Of course you did.”

Gansey shrugged unashamed. “I had such a crush on her when we went to Nino’s every week. I just couldn’t figure out how to ask her out because she always said she hated Raven boys.”

“Weird how incestuous this group is, huh?” Ronan took an obnoxious slurp of his drink.

“I wouldn’t call it—”

“Yes, it’s weird,” Adam agreed. “Like we’re all doomed to date within our group.”

“Maybe we all have excellent taste,” Gansey suggested.

“Maybe,” Ronan nosed into Gansey’s damp hair above his ear and made him shiver.

“Maybe,” Adam said, slamming his mug on the counter so that the remaining cocoa splashed out. “I’m going to bed.”

Gansey let him go then turned in Ronan’s embrace. “You did that to try and make him jealous.”

“And it worked. But I would have done it anyway,” Ronan said.

Gansey pushed him away. “Maybe I should sleep in Matthew’s room tonight?”

“Why? It’s not like I was planning to make you scream my name repeatedly all night long. Although, that does sound like a good idea.” Ronan smirked and pulled him close again.

“Lynch,” Gansey scolded but he kissed him anyway. “I’m going to bed. I’m too exhausted for anything else anyway. And we’ll see what happens in the morning.”

CHAPTER 10

[parislovesf1]

Personal photographer | LS

Social media AU | Lance Stroll X photographer!reader

Warnings: unedited & kinda rushed, cringe?,

Part 1/?

yourusername posted a photo!

Liked by astonmartinf1, formula1 and 36,079 others

yourusername Monaco, you were a dream!! still can’t believe I have the privilege to combine both my love for travelling & motorsport while getting the chance to working for @astonmartinf1 💚✨

@astonmartinf1 started following you

@formula1 started following you

Comments

@yourbff you have no idea how proud of you I am🥹

@username omg mother is finally working her dream job!!

@username my prediction is that y/n becomes a wag within the next year or two🔮🧘🏻‍♀️

@username our hard working mother is where she belongs in the world, humanity can finally heal✨

@astonmartinf1 happy to have you part of the team💚

@Astonmmartinf1 just posted a photo!

Liked by lancestroll, fernandoalo_oficial and 638,907 others.

@AstonMartinf1 bit of an appreciation post for the teams golden boy, we’re all so proud of you for managing to score your 3rd podium so far this season while still recovering! @Lancestroll 💚

Comments

@LanceStroll 💚

@username proud of you Lance!

@yourusername a future wdc in the making I reckon 🫶🏻.

*Liked by @lancestroll

@username idk what’s more impressive; Lance casually beating out the other top teams 3 whole races in a row, while still recovering from his wrist injuries or his cars pace with its new upgrades !

*Liked by @astonmartinf1 & @yourusername.

@yourusername posted a story!

Viewed by @astonmartinf1, @yourbff & @lancestroll & 107,942 others

@astonmartinf1 mentioned you in a story.

Viewed by @lancestroll, @yourusername & 472,905 others.

First person POV.

“holy shit” I breathed. The offical Aston Martin formula 1 account had just reposted your story for their employee appreciation post of the week. I’d barely been working 6 months full time for them in their media and administration departments.

They had already shown me so much love since I began my journey and I just new this was exactly where I wanted to be. I set my phone down as i lay on the plush hotel room bed, hair up in a towel & back to the headboard. Lost in my thoughts, head swirling with gratitude for the life I was now living.

A loud ding from my phone which has been sitting on my lap brought me out of my daydreaming daze, my eyes lightly scanning across the screen to the new notifications.

I could not believe my eyes, he had to be kidding right?

There was no way he decided to do this on his own accord me, I mean we had talked once or twice during media duties or in passing at the motor home. Small exchanges of polite smiles and quiet hellos before morning meetings or in the cafeteria on lunch breaks but I would’ve never bet my bottom dollar on something like this happening.

@Lancestroll liked your photo.

@Lancestroll started following you.

I screamed, giggled and kicked my feet at the thought of having one of my literal biggest F1 crushes follow me on Instagram.

What was I too do now? act like nothing happened?

Am I supposed to act like I didn’t just turn into a giant giggling mess because my boss followed me back?

Requests are now open in my DMs if you want one, sorry for being inactive. I’ve got a lot of projects coming soon, they’re just all in my drafts. I also habe not figured out how to organise my works on here in making a master list etc or how to layout some of these ngl lol.

[dancethroughthethunder]

Bobby from High School Chapter 1: Of all the Gin Joints

Pairing: Bob Floyd x Reader

Word Count: 2.4k

Summary: On a night out at the Hard Deck, a familiar face spots Bob from across the bar. Years after high school, somehow you and Bob have ended up in the same Navy bar and are working at the same base.

Author’s Note: So, despite also working on a sequel for hiccups & pens, I decided to full send this idea on a new Bobby x reader series. This is my first time posting chapter 1 of a series without having the majority of the rest written so this is a little nerve wracking but I'm excited. Right now I think we're going to land somewhere around 3-5 more chapters, but we'll have to see. This work can also be found here at my ao3. I hope you enjoy!

Bob feels out of place without his glasses on. As someone who wears them all the time, it feels like a part of him is missing without them, it feels weirdly vulnerable. Sure, it’s only been a few minutes since Fanboy ran off with them to clean off the beer that got splashed on them, but he’s really looking forward to putting them back on.

Frankly, he’s still not entirely sure how he ended up with beer-covered glasses. One minute he was talking to Nat next to the pool table and the next thing he knew, his glasses were coated in beer and Fanboy was apologizing profusely, grabbing the glasses right off his face and running off to clean them. 

Bob has the feeling that someone keeps looking at him from across the bar, but every time he looks up, he seems to miss them. Besides, without his glasses on, he doesn’t know that he’d really be able to recognize them anyways. Who knows, maybe it’s someone from a past deployment or a friend of a friend. Maybe they’re not even looking at him. Instead of worrying about it, Bob turns his attention back to Phoenix and the conversation she’s having with Payback and Coyote. 

Payback is recreating Fanboy’s disastrous beer spill when Bob feels a light tap on his shoulder.

“Hi, I’m so sorry this sounds like such a cheap pick up line but do we know each other? You look so familiar.” 

Bob turns around and finds a beautiful woman with a drink in her hand, standing there talking to him. He can’t see her features as well as he’d like without his glasses, but from what he can see, she’s beautiful. Thankfully, right then Fanboy comes running back over.

“Sorry again, Bob. Penny let me go clean them in the back, they should be spotless.” Fanboy hands Bob his glasses, which to his credit, are perfectly clean.

“No worries, thanks Mickey.” Bob says as he slides his glasses back on.

“Holy shit, Bobby Floyd! I can’t believe I didn’t recognize you with your glasses.” While Nat mutters something to Coyote about Clark Kent, Bob looks back at the woman standing in front of him and is shocked to see you.

“Hey, how have you been? It’s been a while, huh?” Bob asks as you pull him into a hug, noticing how careful not to spill your drink on him. Bob’s back is to his team, so he doesn’t see the amused and intrigued glances that they’re all giving each other, or the way that Nat pulls Coyote, Fanboy, and Payback a few steps to the side to continue their conversation and give you and Bob some privacy. 

“God, I know. It’s been, what, years? I think the last time we ran into each other, you were still at the Academy, right?”

“Something like that.” Bob smiles and agrees, even though he thinks he could probably tell you every detail about the last time you two saw each other, down to what you were wearing.

“So what are you doing here? Where have you been? I mean, obviously with the Navy, but have you been here long?” You ask, gesturing to his uniform and the Navy atmosphere around you.

Bob gives you a quick, abridged rundown of his time since the Academy before briefly explaining his time here in San Diego. Bob knows he’s biased, and maybe he’s reading too much into things but you look truly interested by everything he’s saying, even though he knows he’s not giving a lot of detail on his previous missions and detachments. 

“But what about you? Are you here visiting?” He really hopes that somehow you’re local.

“Actually, no. I’ve just moved here for work. Maybe I’ll run into you on base, I’m actually a contractor.” 

Bob must be dreaming. There’s no way that out of all the bars, in all the cities, his high school friend (and longtime crush) walked into the same one as him and is going to be working at the same base. You were always pretty in school, but looking at you now (with his glasses firmly on his face), Bob knows you’re gorgeous. There’s some small, possessive part of him that wants to firmly plant an arm around you, and tell the rest of the Hard Deck to get lost, that you were his first. But even if you were together, that’s not Bob’s style, and that would probably be a surefire way to freak you out given that this is your first time seeing each other in years. 

“Aren’t you gonna introduce us to your friend, Bob?” Hangman asks, setting down the pool cue as he and Rooster walk over towards the two of you. 

Ugh , Bob thinks. This is it. He’s seen how women turn their attention to his teammates, especially these two. You were always sweet in high school but it’s been years, he wouldn’t blame you if you ditch your plan to catch up in favor of getting to know one of the other Dagger Squad members. It was so nice getting to talk to you and have it just be the two of you, but now that his team stepped into it they’re either going to embarrass him, hit on you, or more likely both. 

Phoenix sees Hangman and Rooster make their way over towards you and notices the apprehensive look on Bob’s face. It was brief, blink and you miss it, but she knows him well enough to be able to guess what he’s thinking. Hoping to head off some of Hangman’s worst impulses around pretty women, she leads the guys back over too. It’s not like the presence of the whole team is a guarantee to make Hangman behave, but at least she’ll be within striking range to knock some sense back into him if necessary. 

“Hi,” you say, giving your name as you smile and wave at everyone, “Bobby and I went to high school together.” 

“Oh, this is my team.” Bob says as he walks you through introductions to the entire team. You greet everyone with a friendly smile, and Bob can hear you repeating everyone’s callsigns under your breath, trying to commit them to memory. 

“So is our Bob the same as he was in high school?” Hangman asks, trying to capture your attention.

“Well, my expert opinion based on the last 10 or so minutes? Yeah, he’s still Bobby.” You say with a sweet smile. 

Then, in a move Bob almost can’t believe, you physically turn your body away from Hangman and the team, to focus all of your attention right on him. 

“Want to sit?” You ask, gesturing to two of the nearby stools that he and Nat normally occupy. He nods and the two of you sit down, and continue catching up. You tell him more about work, and the two of you start reminiscing on high school.

“Okay, I know I’m going to sound like the world’s most incredible gossip but you’ll never guess what I saw on Twitter the other day.” You say, as you start leading into a story about one of your classmates who apparently went full right-wing grifter and tried to have her local councilman boyfriend talk the cops out of giving her a (very deserved) DUI. 

You two are so focused on each other, you don’t even notice how much time has passed until Phoenix comes over, jumping in at a break in your conversation.”

“Hey, Bob, sorry to interrupt, do either of you want anything else to drink? Next round’s on Bagman.” She says, smirking. 

Bob watches as you look down in surprise at your own, now empty glass and hop up off your stool. Without thinking, Bob stands up with you.

“Oh shit, I’m so sorry Bobby! I totally monopolized your time, I didn’t even realize how long we’ve been sitting here. You’re here with your friends, and my friends probably think I’m lost.” You say with a laugh that Bob suddenly realizes how much he's missed hearing. “Okay, I’m going to find my friends and let you get back to it, but you should text me sometime. I still have the same number, or I can give it to you.” You say, a little apprehensive over the idea of Bob deleting your number.

“I still have it.” Bob says with a smile, without even needing to check his phone. Bob’s the type of guy who never deletes a contact from his phone, because who knows when it might come in handy. Even if he was, he doesn’t think he ever would have deleted yours, just in case. 

“Okay great. I’m so glad we ran into each other.” Turning to wave at the rest of the team, you add, “it was great meeting y’all! Thanks for letting me steal Bobby away for a bit!” 

Bob stands there, smiling, watching you make your way through the crowd of people as you head back to your friends. He feels a little bad having pulled you away from them for so long, but he could have kept talking to you for the rest of the night. 

“So, Bobby, huh.” Nat says, with a mischievous smile.

“Yeah. She’s the only one who’s ever called me that.”

“Did you always have a crush on her?”

“Yeah.” He says, much to Phoenix’s surprise who was expecting more resistance. He’s still watching as you chat excitedly with your friends, hoping that some of that excitement is about him. (It is.)

“Can I see your phone?”

“Oh, sure.” Bob doesn’t bother asking why. He doesn’t have anything to hide, and he trusts Nat. 

“Perfect.” She says, handing his phone back with a new text thread open with your name at the top. 

Bob: Hi, it was great to see you. You look great, by the way. 

“Nat, come on.” He groans. Maybe he shouldn’t have blindly trusted her. Now he’s worried he’ll come off too strong but he doesn’t want to follow up on the text and say his friend sent it. He’ll sound like an embarrassed middle schooler, and you do look great and if he tries to walk back Nat’s text, he worries it would come off like he doesn’t think you look good. So he sighs, and leaves it. 

The crowd has shuffled a little so he doesn’t get to see you pull your phone out of your pocket or the way your face lights up when you see the text.

You: Thank you. I’m glad to hear the Navy’s treated you well. It looks good on you, Bobby :) 

Bob blushes and doesn’t bother fighting it as Nat grabs his phone again. Thankfully, Hangman comes back with drinks and Natasha has enough sense not to make a big deal of your text in front of the rest of the team. Bob grabs his phone back and sends you a text taking a little bit of a risk, without any help from Nat this time.

Bob: It’s nice to have a familiar face in the area. Maybe we could grab coffee sometime?

Your response comes in almost immediately, to Bob’s delight.

You: I’d love that. I don’t know anywhere in the area yet, so you’ll have to pick a place.

Bob smiles as he puts his phone back in his pocket, and turns to pay attention to his team for the first time since you walked over. 

Eventually, he decides that he does want another drink. He was so busy talking with you that he didn’t take Phoenix up on her offer to send Hangman to the bar. He doesn’t mind going to get his own drink, so he lets Phoenix know he’ll be right back and makes his way through the other patrons to get to the bar.

“Hey, Bob. Who’s the girl?” Penny asks as he walks up.

“You really do see everything that happens here don’t you?” Bob jokes, wondering how she can keep an eye on when to ring the bell, pour drinks, cash folks out, and know everything going on all at the same time. 

“Nah, she came up here and mentioned you. What’re you having? She said your next drink is on her, paid for it, and left you a note.” Penny slides a napkin across the bar with your handwriting on it. 

“Oh.” Bob can’t remember the last time a woman bought him a drink without doing it to try to impress one of the guys. “That’s nice of her. I’ll have an ale.” He says, and Penny nods and starts pouring while Bob looks down at the napkin in front of him.

It’s been a long time since high school, but Bob laughs at the sight of your handwriting. You never did have the slow, methodical, flowery handwriting that some of your other classmates had, and you were always complaining that your mom thought your handwriting needed to be more ladylike. Bob liked your handwriting, it was legible (unless you were in a real hurry), and it just seemed fitting for you in a way he doesn't think he could explain, it's just something he knows.

Of all the gin joints, yeah? This one’s on me for interrupting you and your friends. Have a good night, Lieutenant Floyd. 

Clearly, you either asked around or paid enough attention to his uniform to discern his rank. Either way, Bob feels honored. He can’t help but trace over where you signed your name, a messy heart looping over the last letter. Suddenly, he’s flashing back to yearbook signing days, watching you add that same messy heart next to every signature. 

“What, it’s classic? Sorry I love my friends, jackass.” You’d said with an eye roll as another friend complained that it looked too romantic. 

Sitting here in the Hard Deck, looking at that little heart, Bob wonders how he got lucky enough for the universe to put you back in his path. He doesn’t know if anything will come of it romantically, but even just having you around as a friend is more than enough for him. 

He doesn’t see the way that Penny watches with a smile as he delicately folds your note and puts it in his pocket for safekeeping. Thanking Penny for his drink, he heads back over towards the corner where his friends are laughing, with his mind wandering to what coffee shops in the area you might enjoy visiting with him.

[charmwasjess]

Twenty Fanfic Writer Questions Okay, this is embarrassing, because I got tagged in this like two weeks ago when I was in time zone stupor, copied the prompts out, and then forgot, and I think it was @stellanslashgeode who tagged me - if not, I will cry with embarrassment so don't tell me if I'm wrong.

And :'D I don't remember either who was tagged when it was going around, so here's some no pressure tags (and hop in if you want to play and I didn't tag you!) - @bolithesenate @calcedon79 @purple-ant @reconstructwriter

1. How many works do you have on Ao3? 

10!! :D Which is totally amazing to me. Where did they come from?! Who made them?!

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count? 

Oh god, almost 300k… I don’t have any explanation. 

3. What fandoms do you write for? 

Just Star Wars! I can only handle one frenzied obsession at a time.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Sitting in the Dark, Five Days to Murder Sifo-Dyas, The Thunder Answered Back, Milk Run, and hey, aww, wow, Jedi Nights?! 

I’m a little surprised any of my Sifo-Dyas/Dooku stuff beat out anything else, it’s such a little tiny ship!

5. Do you respond to comments? 

I do, it's my favorite part. I get a tremendous amount of inspiration and energy from engaging with people who take the time to talk to me about my work. And friends, too! I have been in my fandom since I was like 11 or 12. I’ve made lifelong friends out of my comment sections.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? 

I'm a sucker for a happy ending so a lot of them end on an upbeat note, but I can’t imagine The Thunder Answered Back ending on anything other than a mixed note. I'm not gonna be able to undo Order 66, you know? It’s a salvage job, not a fix it. If Jocasta gets through the fic without killing Dooku, we will call it a happy ending.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? 

My corny Five Days to Kill Sifo-Dyas probably has the most classical happy ending for the saga but my favorite is the one in Sitting in the Dark - Qui-Gon waking up on the couch with Rael asleep next to him, and listening to Dooku and Jocasta and Sifo-Dyas wash up after the party. That little kid feeling of being safe and sleepy with your adult family happy and laughing softly nearby. 

8. Do you get hate on fics? 

Ohhhh, if I had a dollar for every time one of my friends made some joke about me writing Count Dooku porn! But I don't care about that, if they actually read my shit, their pervert asses would become terribly addicted to it. They’d be begging at my door. “More old man yaoi! PLEASE!” (This is a joke, my local friends have been very nice about my return to fic writing and the teasing is loving.)

Weirdly, the nastiest hate comment on a fic I’ve ever gotten was in the Before era, when I was writing fic on my old teen account. It was on a young Knight-age Dooku/Jocasta one shot. It was a simple, very vanilla romantic moment with a T rating at best so I don't really get why the person was so worked up about it? I think they just couldn't get around Dooku and Jocasta (OLD PEOPLE?!?) written as young and attractive. For years, I was horribly embarrassed about the fic, like it must really actually truly suck to have someone spend so much time writing such an extensive hate comment. I must have really fucked up. 

I went back and reread it recently and realized: oh, no, it's a regular fic, they were just a fucking loser.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? 

The…sex kind!!

But yes, I do! Mostly Sifo-Dyas/Dooku these days, but also Jocasta/Dooku and once or twice the holy Trinity of the three. 

I was REALLY shy about posting it at first and I still kind of can’t believe I did, but it was absurdly good for me as a person. Great for my religious purity culture baggage, my teenage years as a closeted queer person, just a really freeing experience. 

And it’s hot. And you get to think about Dooku saying or thinking the word “erection,” which is worth it just for that. 

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? 

Nah, I’m boring.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? 

Nope, but I have been lucky enough to help with the English in bringing several of Purple Ant’s remarkable works over from Russian. 

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? 

Yep! In the Before time, I cowrote a lot, although I don’t think I posted much. One stands out: I remember this big rambling self-insert (we called them Mary Sues back then) I did with my bestie where we were transported to Star Wars world and we had to… I don’t exactly remember, but I think Obi-Wan falling in love with one or both of us was a big part? I went back and deleted it years later because it was so cringe. But that’s silly too - we were like twelve, of course it was silly and cringe! 

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship? 

I tend to be pretty fucking stupid about Syku. 

It’s just. Two people who manage to collectively destroy their own universes together. They’re so connected in such strange, powerful, frightening ways, they know all of each other’s secrets, they were there on the worst days of each other’s lives, and will go on to be each other’s worst day of their life. And the way, even as they change, they can’t get away from each other, even though they both really try, it’s like they’re stuck in two orbits that have to cross. 

And then you read the dumb book, and see that they’re just stupid funny and cute together, idiots who finish each other’s sentences and call each other little nicknames… augh, the bizarre sweetness of it?! It kills me. It’s the narrative doom, but also the weird, enduring love that has Dooku giving Sifo-Dyas a Jedi funeral or trying so earnestly to tell Obi-Wan his crazy version of events with his death, or how Sifo-Dyas goes running back to him for the Clone thing after he already knows so much about how Dooku factors into the end game... 

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? 

I will definitely finish The Thunder Answered Back but I kind of doubt I’ll get to the two years worth of content and every individual character’s endgame storyline I envisioned out of it. I'll stick with Dooku, Jocasta, Scout, and Asajj.

16. What are your writing strengths? 

….this is embarrassing, but I tend to think I’m occasionally really funny. 

Even though my fics are really serious and I haven’t written any crack, I really try to put in moments of humor, depending on my POV character’s dialogue or internal monologue. I think my best humor comes about when I can get Dooku and Sifo-Dyas in A Situation, slinging shit back and forth. Those two just take off. 

17. What are your writing weaknesses? 

I overwrite. My fics would be a lot more successful if I tightened up and left more on the cutting room floor. I get over attached to small moments of character at the expense of the plot (and let's be honest, word count.) 

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? 

Hmm, does sign language count? That has been really fun in Rabbit Heart. A huge chunk of the fic happens in sign language. 

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Star Wars!

20. Favourite fic you’ve written? 

It’s got to be Milk Run, by a long shot. I’m really proud of that fic, but it was just such a blast to write. It was so fucking fun. And there’s all these little moments or tiny funny things I’ve left myself in it that are probably only funny to me, but they’re so funny to me. 

….Like, so, at one point in the fic, Sifo-Dyas is pissed at Dooku because he can tell he and Jocasta have been sleeping together, again, and this always happens, and he always has to clean this mess and play mediator when it inevitably implodes (and also maybe he is in love with Dooku a little bit?). So he’s furious about it, but pretending not to be, and so he bitchily tells Dooku the name of his ship is The Haru-Spicy, as in, a cooking pun, instead of the real name, The Haruspicy. And then Dooku spends the entire rest of the fic just wildly mispronouncing the name of the ship in his own POV chapters and to other characters? 

I love to imagine him saying it, all declarative, “The Haru-Spicy!” And everyone just stares like “do we correct him… or…?” Sifo-Dyas quietly soothing himself, chuckling over this small pettiness. Cracks me up.

[normaltothemax]

"With all due respect, which is none," Dick's eyes haven't left the figure of Natasha Romanoff since she appeared on his doorstep. She's here for Clint, of course, and generally Dick would let Clint deal with this himself, but after what happened? After what she did? After her decision hurt his fiance deeply enough to make him resign from the organization that's been his entire life for years? Dick is not staying silent this time. "You lied to me. Directly to my face. You let me believe my fiance was dead, and you let me believe that for weeks, until he turned up on my couch one night and nearly made me think I was finally going insane." He can see the almost hunted look in her eyes, the barely-there trace of guilt. Natasha's good, one of the best, but Dick isn't merely passively reading her now; he's watching, bringing every scrap of his own training and experience to bear. "Don't even think about hiding behind orders you were given. Fury's got his own share of the blame, yes, but you? You could have found a way to tell me, orders be damned. You're more than good enough to do that. You could have left hints, found ways, used phrases that would have told me the truth, and you could have done that at any time. I can think of about three different ways just offhand that would have worked, and if I can I know you can. But you didn't. You kept the truth from me. Deliberately." With a shrug, he continues. "Now, lying to me? I don't expect you to feel too bad about that. You might even try and justify it to yourself by thinking I should have known better than to trust the Black Widow, take her at her word. But I thought - and Clint thought - that you'd at least have enough respect for him not to do that. "Clearly we were wrong." [okay technically this is for the tumblr post starter meme but uh. have Dick going off on Nat in front of Clint >w>]

Clint doesn’t have any issues with answering Dick’s door for him. They’re engaged, Clint’s half lived here for ages, now—it’s his home, too. But Dick was closer, already standing in the kitchen while Clint was sprawled out on the couch. It’s coincidence that he’s the one to open the door.

Clint freezes at the sound of Natasha’s voice, entire body going cold and rigid. What the fuck is she doing here? What right does she think she has to be here, after what she did? It’s an anger he doesn’t feel often, burning slow and molten as he sits up, mixed in with the pain of a knife twisting in his heart.

Before he can even move to get to his feet, though, before he can say a single word, Dick’s taking over. Calmly and coolly tearing her a new one.

Clint can’t do anything but watch. But gape.

Because holy shit.

Natasha is left similarly speechless, though she’s making it seem more deliberate than Clint, her jaw tight. Her eyes find his, over Dick’s shoulder, and Clint finally gets to his feet. Makes his way to the door, never looking away from her gaze.

Stops just behind Dick and lets him all but shield him from his once best friend. “You should leave, Agent Romanoff.” She hides it well, but Clint sees the barely there flinch at the use of a title over her name, the tiniest bit of hurt and guilt in her eyes.

There’s a brief pause, a hesitation, and then, with a stiff nod, she turns and leaves without another word. Clint lets out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding and lets his head fall to rest against Dick’s shoulder blade. His hands are shaking as he wraps his arms around Dick’s waist. When did his hands start shaking?

“Fuck.” His chuckle is on the verge of hysterical, eyes squeezing shut. “You’re incredible, you know that?”

@dramatisperscnae