#can you tell i've thought about this a lot

[alexafaie-asd]

Ok, so I'm kind of exhausted because I couldn't sleep at all last night (couldn't stop thinking how to word this all clearer than I tried to in the comments), but I am going to try to actually talk on this more in full.

Putting it all below a read more because this got very long and most people probably don't actually give a damn about learning about how disabilities can affect people so way easier to let people expand it if they want to read it rather than scroll through just to yell "not reading all of that".

The reason I responded as I did is because if you read the above post, it is saying one thing, but its very obviously pointing at something else. What are they trying to say about a person who does not listen to rap? Well it is probably the big classic gotcha of "if you don't listen to this one singular genre of black music then you are most likely a racist". That's the unspoken part.

But in truth that is a very very narrowminded outlook on why someone might not choose to engage with a genre of music.

I thought that I would give just one reason why someone might not choose to listen to rap which is NOT to do with racism - my own experience with how my auditory processing disorder affects me.

Below is a screen shot of what I wrote:

I unfortunately can not share screen shots of what was written in response as the person has either deleted their comment or decided to block me.

But the gist of it was to ignore most of what I wrote. To insist that I should just try harder. They ignored the examples I gave of genres of black music I absolutely adore (motown and soul being the genres I included but there are others my tired brain couldn't retrieve at the time). They ignored me expressing sadness that I can not process what I am hearing, they ignored that it sounds the same as auctioneer speaking.

So I tried again to explain a bit clearer what I meant by how my auditory processing disorder affects me:

I've tried to listen to different artists and have the same issue each time. To try and explain it clearer, with a lot of rap music (at least what I have been exposed to) there is usually a strong drum line, strong bassline and relatively little melody/instrumentals outside of that. The vocals are within the same kind of frequency range as the bass and drum parts. In addition, the music often makes use of distortion and in the production phase it is often quite heavily compressed.

This means that the vast majority of the sounds in the music are within a very narrow band which can make telling the vocals (mostly spoken not sung) apart from the drum and bass parts actually quite hard for me. It blurs into noise. By noise I mean the acoustical definition of "one that interferes with other sounds that are being listened to".

The suggestion of reading the lyrics would be useful if I could tell where the words are spoken enough to follow along. Or in cases where you might think you're mishearing a word - for example eggs and ex can sound pretty close to one another but would vastly change the meaning of the song so you might look the lyrics up to see what is being said.

But if you can't pick out the vocals properly at all? At that point I would just be reading a poem if I read the lyrics. Nothing wrong with poems, but reading a poem is NOT the same kind of experience as listening to music. I usually listen to music whilst I am doing something else, for example working on my cross stitch. I can't be reading lyrics whilst also following a pattern and sewing. And if I am reading something then I don't have music on in the background because I can not focus on both at the same time. (I also have sensory processing disorder so not only issues with processing sounds, but also other forms of sensory input, particular if they are concurrent). I can't do subtitles when watching something on TV for example.

Back to what I said last night though:

That was me trying to explain more that I'm not *wanting* to have this issue! I tried to discuss how I appreciate that a lot of time and effort and skill goes into creating the music. That I would love to be able to experience it how other people experience it.

I got more responses that ignored that, still treated me like I'm choosing to hate on it for no reason when I am not even hating on it. I am saying I respect the genre! I just can't process it into anything intelligible.

And yet again, someone choosing not to actually read what I said, but act like I'm doing something wrong by not listening to a genre of music that my brain can not process.

Rap is just one of the multitude of facets of what makes up black music. Its just one genre. I can understand having a "maybe this person is racist against black people if they refuse to engage with *any* music created by black people". I would agree. But rap is only the one genre. There is so much more to black music than that. Why is it the one genre than gets people all up in arms crying racist? I don't see people saying it about Motown, or Soul, or Gospel, or Blues, or Funk, or Jazz, or Disco... I don't see people saying it about Work Songs, or Ragtime, or Barbershop, or the OG Rhythm & Blues, or early Rock & Roll. All genres that I have listened to at various points throughout my life. Less so gospel if I am being fully honest, but that's simply because I'm uncomfortable with religious music in general (I'm not a religious person at all), but I would say its the best religious music I have heard.

Ultimately, for me to be able to process what I am hearing, I need the words to be clearly sung, not spoken. I don't do well with processing guttural sounds. Those blend in with drums too much. I don't have much luck being able to process spoken word or poems when read out loud. I also struggle to process audio books so don't listen to those either. And there are white bands whose music I avoid for a similar reason - like Muse for example. I know they are skilled musicians, but all the lyrics sound like "nurrr nuurrr nuurr nurr muurrr drrr brrr nnnrrr nrrr" to me. I can't process what they are saying. I also struggle with Coldplay. Loads of people love them so I'm sure they're doing something right. Can't tell what the fuck they're saying though.

Rap just happens to use multiple things that are hard for me to process. I know they make use of the voice more as rhythm than melody - and that is hard for me to process. And this is all before we talk about the kinds of words used. If it is a word I am familiar with then I am more likely to be able to pick out what is being said. However this isn't always the case. There are plenty of times where my partner has spoken to me and I've had to say "I'm sorry, I heard that you were speaking to me, I saw your lips moving, but I did not process a single word you just said, can you please try and say it in a different way?".

I did get one person trying to actually understand & offer suggestions that I might be able to try:

I can certainly give those a go to see if I can understand them enough to enjoy them.

I've already kind of touched on the "broaden your horizons a bit" thing further up in talking about genres, just of typically black music which I have listened to and enjoyed. And so continue to listen to and enjoy. There's also a wide array of genres I listen to within metal (one of my current faves being Ad Infinitum, Melissa Bonny has such a beautiful voice!) and folk music from around the world. I frequently listen to music in other languages, and generally when the words are sung in a melodic way, I'm able to pick out enough that I can just look at lyrics to figure out the few words I'm struggling with. But there are genres of metal that I avoid entirely for the exact same reason I don't listen to rap. I can't tell what is being said. This even goes for Metallica. I have their S&M album which is so well recorded and produced. I can manage to process a lot more of the words sung in the versions included in this album than the original album versions of the song. Even with the lyrics up I struggle with a lot of their original songs - there's a lot of distortion going on, quite a bit of guitar feedback creating noise, the recordings were done in a very cheap studio and are low quality, making the words not very clear as the vocal range is in a similar frequency band as the music. In comparison, the S&M versions which featured the San Francisco Symphony Orchestra in addition to the band's usual line up (for the time) and that additional melody, plus it being very well recorded (different mics for each instrument) meant that it is much easier for me to pick out what is being sung. I still struggle with some of it, but its enough that I can look up what I am missing. But even knowing the words now, I still don't process them properly if I listen to the original versions of the songs. So I don't listen to the original versions. I listen to the versions I CAN process. Plus the extra melody just makes the songs better even without the lyrics.

I still don't think I have really fully done this justice. It sounded way clearer in my head, but I do struggle with putting the words down as I think them.

But I will try the suggestions @eurekq recommended as they at least have been able to come at it from a place of trying to understand (does help that they have auditory processing disorder too). I can't guarantee I will like any of it of course. I suppose it depends on how strong the melody is. Because I really need a strong melody to enjoy the music.

rap has probably been the most consistently popular and influential genre of music for the past 40+ years but your average person on tumblr is less willing to listen to it than a random white teenage boy in the suburbs or a 4channer who lurks on /mu/ every once in a while

[jellymochii]

Stray Kids - Valentine's Day Headcanons

ᡣ𐭩 pairings: OT8 SKZ x fem!Reader

ᡣ𐭩 genre: fluff, smut

ᡣ𐭩 wc: 1.5k

ᡣ𐭩 cw: smut, dacryphilia, oral, mentions of bondage/d!ldos, dry humping, unprotected s3x (pls don't unless you want STD's for Valentine's Day)

↪author's note: hello! sorry I've been gone so long and not finished my NingNing fic, but to make it up to you I've whipped this up. happy Valentine's Day and hope you enjoy!

**THIS IS PURELY A WORK OF FICTION AND DOES NOT REFLECT THE TRUE NATURE OF THE PEOPLE MENTIONED**

ᡣ𐭩Chan

His dad always taught him to be a classy man–and so he's gonna make sure you're well taken care of for such a special day.

He bought you that long red dress you've been eyeballing for a while and adorned you with shiny pearled jewelry. (And a giant bouquet of flowers)

He takes you to the most high end restaurant in the city (which took 6 months reservation in advance) with a staff member dressed all nice like a chauffeur.

Expensive steaks, lobster tail, or even chicken nuggets. Whatever you want, he'll get you.

Lots of food in your belly to prepare for…y'know, the baby he's about to put in you.

What, like he wasn't gonna fill you to the brim with cum after you looked this good for him?

It's almost as if he knew that you were planning on skipping your birth control that day in the hopes you'd finally get to be filled.

Oh and you're up for hours, he's not stopping until your poor cunt is leaking with all his babies, and he'll get a few more loads in just to make sure it stays put in your cervix.

“C'mon baby, you don't want anything leaking out d'ya? Right, now stay still and let daddy give you that baby you wanted~.”

There's nothing more romantic to both of you than being given a cute little symbol of your love in 9 months.

ᡣ𐭩Minho

The bad news is that he did not, infact, get the day off work. There's lots of love he has to send to STAY before he can get home to you.

The good news is that now that Idol Minho is off work, Chef Minho has arrived!

He always keeps your favorite dish in the back of his mind and he knows you've been begging him to make it these past few weeks, but he wanted to save it today to make it extra special.

You'll smell it from a mile away, but as soon as you walk in the dining table is lit with candles and a big flower centerpiece to top it off.

Looks at you with so much love as you absolutely devour your plate like a wild tiger.

Speaking of absolutely devouring

Normally you and Minho have a strict dom/sub relationship with him asserting and taking control.

But today he just wants to show you that despite all the harsh punishments he has to give you, you're still the love of his life.

And that includes devouring your cunt for hours.

“Mmmh, my precious little pussy. You're this wet just for me?”

ᡣ𐭩Changbin

CRUISE TIME BABYYYYY

No but fr he wasn't sure what to do and even asked Chaeryeong what kind of stuff girls like.

Eventually he settled on taking the week off and spending time with you by the seaside, providing both a relaxing and loving vacation.

You two get to explore some cute islands and eat feasts of chocolate alongside a paradise of other loving couples.

And sometimes you'll spend alone time too! He'll work out at the cruise gym while you relax by the poolside soaking up the island sun.

Oh and it's a good thing it's a honeymoon cruise (even if you two aren't married)

God bless whoever decided to make all the rooms on the ship soundproof because you're definitely gonna need it while he's rearranging your guts.

But let's be honest, the whole ship can still hear your strangled moans and the plap plap plap sounds coming from your room.

“Anngh, yeobo, you're so tight, I love this pussy.”

At least you can tell your kids they were created by the sea.

ᡣ𐭩Hyunjin

You can expect nothing but the sweetest from your lover boy.

He had Versace create a giant bouquet of your favorite flowers in a beautiful signature gold wrap.

His first thought on a date was doing the painting swap challenge from tiktok and seeing what the two of you could create.

There's paint on both of your noses by the end and kkami with an accidental blue spot on his fur from the crossfire of your paint war.

He tried to salvage your original drawing to no avail, but he still insists that he thinks it's perfect because it came from you.

His next surprise was a custom mold of his cock for you to play with whenever he was away on tour, but he insists on trying it on you first for “Quality Assurance” as he calls it.

It feels almost exactly like the real thing and reaches into your favorite spots exactly like his.

With his new ability to use the dildo AND his mouth simultaneously, you cum so many times that you're brain dead.

“You're so gorgeous, my angel. You look so pretty cumming on my cock–God, I love you so much.”

And he may have snapped a few photos of you like this to help him when he's not there next to you.

ᡣ𐭩Han

Have you ever dreamed of having a whole mixtape/album come out all about you?

Cause Jisung's got you covered

He'll have a whole listening party with some of his friends as you sit there trying not to cry from how sweet he is.

You can't stop kissing him and adoring him the rest of the night, it's like your wildest dreams have come true.

How could you not reward such a good boy?

Oh you both are getting the NASTIEST sex tonight.

Dildos, cuffs, chains–every toy gets brought in out of desperation.

You're both just so desperate to fuck eachother before you even leave that he's pressed up against you on the subway humping your ass like a dog.

“Mmmph, please! I-I need more!.”

You're in for a long night of multiple orgasms from both of you.

ᡣ𐭩Felix

You've been eyeballing the amusement park 2 towns over for a while now, and what better time to take you than now?

The illuminating fair lights turned pink for the special day makes you both giddy.

The first stop is obviously the Rollercoaster, you're having the time of your life while Felix is fighting off demons trying not to pass out.

Then you'll get to go on the new pink ferris wheel and give your lover a kiss at the top.

Alongside buying you all the fair food you can eat, he spots a pair of gold rings from a vendor that he just HAS to buy you.

After coming back from buying them and watching you struggle on the shooting game for a giant teddy bear, he steps in and uses his gamer experience to win it for you!

And he's gonna make you hump it for him as soon as you get home.

Don't worry, he'll fuck you eventually, but watching you desperately get off on the fluffy fabric while staring at him with teary puppy eyes makes his dick throb.

“Fuck you look so sexy like that. Keep going so I can cum on your pretty face, mkay?”

ᡣ𐭩Seungmin

Since your first date was at the vintage arcade down the street, he decided to bring you right back to where it all started.

Life's been a total dream since you two started dating, but you're reminded in times like these why he's such a tease.

He'll never let you forget how much better he is at video games than you are, especially Guitar Hero and the OG Sonic.

You're also getting your ass whooped at Dance Dance Revolution too.

He'll let you win at 1 or 2 games though just so you don't pout at him later.

You know what his favorite game is though?

Edging you, duh.

You swear you have no idea where he learned to use his fingers so skillfully. He's throat deep in your pussy while his fingers twist your nipples to perfection.

“Why are you squirming away? I thought you loved it when I broke you down jagi.”

And you do, there's no better gift you could've gotten today than being nothing more than a brain dead fuckdoll for your sweet boyfriend.

ᡣ𐭩Jeongin

You guys are still fairly new to your relationship and it's your first Valentine's Day.

So he wants to make it as perfect as possible. He asks Chris and the rest of the boys what kind of stuff he should do for you and tries to pack it all together in one night.

Unfortunately for him the place he wanted to take you caught on fire, the flowers got delivered to the wrong address, and the ring he ordered you was smaller than what he wanted.

The poor boy can't even look you in the eye as he’s telling you all of this, but you reassure him that none of the material stuff matters–as long as he’s by your side.

The two of you settle for takeout and a movie at your place with lots of cuddles and kisses.

There was still a chance for him to have one thing he planned go his way though.

While the two of you have dealt in the occasional oral/fingering, he wanted to overcome his fear of intimacy and actually have sex with you.

Thankfully all his wildest dreams came true the moment he slipped into you and was immediately sent straight into Heaven.

“F-fuuuuck, you’re everything–so beautiful, perfect and tight.”

Even if Valentine's Day didn't go the way he originally wanted, he wouldn't ask for anything else–bring inside of you and feeling your love was all he needed.

[woozinhos]

HI BABY I LOVED THE KID ASKING MINGYU FOR ANOTHER SIBLING

can u do the same req but w Joshua😭 I feel like that’s so him coded🩷💘💐

Notes: guys this fic slaps love it oh ma gawdddd I feel like I’m getting better at writing hehe

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.

It was a sunny afternoon, and you were lounging on the couch with Joshua when your daughter, Emily, came running up to you. She had a determined look on her face, and you could tell that she wanted something.

"Mommy, Daddy," she said, climbing onto the couch and snuggling between the two of you. "Can I ask you something?" You exchanged a glance with Joshua before nodding. "Of course, sweetheart," you said. "What is it?" Emily looked up at you with her big, innocent eyes. "I want a baby brother or sister," she said bluntly. "I'm tired of being an only child."

You and Joshua were both taken aback by her request. You hadn't expected her to ask for a sibling so soon. Joshua cleared his throat and spoke up. "Emily, having a baby is a big responsibility," he said gently. "And it's not something we can just decide on a whim." Emily pouted, clearly not satisfied with his answer. "But I want one now," she insisted. "All my friends have siblings and they're always playing together."

You could see that she was getting frustrated, and you knew you had to handle this delicately. You took Emily's hand in yours and gave it a reassuring squeeze. "I understand that you want a sibling," you said. "But having a baby takes a lot of planning and preparation. It's not just about wanting one, it's about being able to take care of them." Joshua nodded in agreement. "Your mommy is right," he said. "But we'll talk about it, okay? Maybe we can have a family meeting later and discuss it more."

Emily seemed satisfied with that answer and snuggled closer to you, resting her head on your lap. You stroked her hair gently, feeling a mixture of emotions swirling inside you. Joshua leaned in and whispered in your ear. "She's getting so big," he said. "I can't believe she's already asking for a sibling." You nodded, a small smile playing on your lips. "I know," you whispered back. "It feels like just yesterday she was a little baby."

Emily looked up at you again, a mischievous glint in her eye. "Can I have a baby brother?" she asked. "I want a little brother to play with." Joshua laughed and ruffled her hair. "We'll see, sweetheart," he said. "But for now, let's focus on being the best big sister you can be." You felt a pang of guilt as you looked at Joshua. You knew that having another child would mean more responsibilities, but you also knew how much Emily wanted it.

"Hey," Joshua said, noticing your expression. "Don't worry about it too much. We'll figure it out together." You nodded again, feeling grateful for his support. "I know we will," you said, leaning in to kiss him.

Emily made a face at the display of affection, clearly not interested in seeing her parents kiss. "Eww, gross," she said, covering her eyes. You and Joshua laughed and pulled away from each other, your attention returning to Emily. "Alright, enough about siblings," you said. "What do you want to do today?" Emily thought for a moment before grinning. "Can we go to the park?" she asked. "I want to play on the swings!"

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.

You and Joshua were lying in bed, the room dimly lit by the moonlight filtering through the curtains. Emily was fast asleep in her room, leaving the two of you alone. Joshua turned to you, a sly smile on his face. "So," he said, tracing patterns on your arm. "About what Emily asked us earlier..."

You groaned and buried your face in the pillow. "Don't remind me," you mumbled. "I can't stop thinking about it." Joshua chuckled and pulled you closer to him, his chest pressed against your back. "It's okay," he said, his breath hot against your ear. "I've been thinking about it too." He began to kiss your neck, his lips leaving a trail of soft kisses down to your shoulder. You shivered at his touch, feeling a familiar heat starting to build inside you.

"We could start practicing," he whispered, his hand sliding up your thigh. "You know, just in case." You bit your lip, trying to hold back a moan as his hand continued to move higher. "You're insatiable," you said, arching your back against him. Joshua chuckled again, his fingers now tracing the waistband of your pajamas. "Only for you," he replied, his voice huskier than before.

He nipped at your earlobe, his teeth grazing the sensitive skin. "Come on, baby," he whispered. "Let me take care of you." You turned around to face him, your eyes dark with desire. "Okay," you said, your voice barely above a whisper. Joshua claimed your lips in a heated kiss, his tongue delving into your mouth as he pushed you onto your back. He settled between your legs, his body pressing you into the mattress.

His hands roamed over your body, exploring every inch of you as if he hadn't touched you in ages. You moaned into the kiss, your hands gripping his shoulders tightly. Joshua broke the kiss and began to kiss his way down your neck, leaving a trail of hickeys in his wake. He continued down to your collarbone, his tongue tracing the line of your bra.

"You're so beautiful," he murmured against your skin. "So perfect." He reached behind you and unhooked your bra, tossing it aside and exposing your breasts to him. He immediately took one of them in his mouth, sucking and biting gently. You gasped and arched your back, your fingers tangling in his hair as he continued to lavish attention on your breasts. He moved to the other one, giving it the same treatment, before making his way down to your stomach. He hooked his fingers into the waistband of your pajamas and slowly began to pull them down, revealing your lace panties.

"These are new," he said, a smirk on his face. "Did you wear them for me?" You blushed and nodded, feeling a mix of embarrassment and excitement. "Yes," you admitted, your voice breathy. Joshua groaned and leaned down to kiss your stomach. "You're trying to drive me crazy, aren't you?" he asked, his lips brushing against your skin. He hooked his fingers into the waistband of your panties as well and pulled them down, tossing them aside with your bra. He spread your legs apart and settled between them, his eyes roaming over your naked body.

"You're so wet for me," he said, his voice filled with desire. You felt yourself getting even wetter under his gaze, your body aching for his touch. "Please, Joshua," you begged, unable to form any coherent sentences.

He chuckled and leaned down to press a kiss to your inner thigh. "Patience, baby," he said, his breath hot against your skin. "I want to take my time with you." He began to kiss and nibble on your thighs, purposely avoiding the one place you wanted him the most. You whimpered and tried to squirm away from him, but he held you down firmly.

"Be a good girl and stay still," he said, his tone commanding. You bit your lip and nodded, trying your best to keep still despite the growing frustration building inside you. Joshua continued to tease you, leaving love bites all over your thighs and hip bones.

He finally reached your core, his hot breath ghosting over your sensitive skin. "You're dripping," he said, his voice filled with awe. "I love how responsive you are to me." You let out a loud moan as his tongue makes contact with your clit, only to have it ripped away as he pulls back. You looked at him with pleading eyes, your body trembling with need.

"Please don't stop," you whimpered. "I need you." Joshua smirked and leaned back down, his tongue flicking out to tease your clit again. "I love it when you beg," he said, before diving in and sucking on your clit.

You cried out in pleasure, your hands gripping the sheets tightly as he ate you out. He sucked and licked at your clit with fervor, his fingers digging into your thighs to keep you in place. He inserted two fingers into your wet pussy, curling them upwards to hit your g-spot. You moaned loudly, your hips bucking against his face as he continued to work you with his tongue and fingers.

"You taste so good," he groaned, his voice muffled against your pussy. "I could do this all night." You felt yourself getting closer and closer to the edge, your orgasm building with each thrust of his fingers and each flick of his tongue. You knew you weren't going to last much longer.

"Joshua, I'm gonna cum," you panted, your body tensing up in anticipation. He hummed in response, the vibrations sending shivers down your spine. "Cum for me, baby," he said, his fingers pumping in and out of you faster. "I want to taste you when you come." With a few more flicks of his tongue and curls of his fingers, you came undone, your body convulsing as waves of pleasure washed over you. You cried out his name, your back arching off the bed as you rode out your orgasm. Joshua continued to lap up your juices, his fingers slowing down as you came down from your high. He finally pulled away and looked up at you, a satisfied grin on his face.

"You're so beautiful when you cum," he said, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. You lay there, panting and spent, as Joshua moved up to kiss you deeply. You could taste yourself on his lips, and it only made you more aroused. He broke the kiss and nuzzled your neck, his hand gently stroking your side. "I'm not done with you yet," he whispered in your ear. You watched as he removed his boxers, revealing his rock-hard cock. You bit your lip, feeling a mix of nervousness and excitement.

He positioned himself between your legs again, his tip pressing against your entrance. "Are you ready for me?" he asked, his eyes dark with desire. You nodded, your heart racing in your chest. "Yes, please," you said, your voice barely above a whisper. Joshua slowly pushed into you, groaning at the feeling of your tight walls surrounding him. He gave you a moment to adjust before he started to move, his thrusts slow and deliberate at first.

"You're so tight," he grunted, his hands gripping your hips tightly. "You feel so good around me." You wrapped your legs around his waist, pulling him closer to you as he began to pick up the pace. He leaned down to kiss you again, his tongue exploring your mouth hungrily. He angled his hips slightly, hitting your g-spot with every thrust. You moaned into his mouth, your nails digging into his back as pleasure coursed through your body.

"I love being inside you," he whispered against your lips. "You're mine, Y/N. Only mine." You nodded again, completely lost in the pleasure he was giving you. "Yes, I'm yours," you panted, your words interrupted by moans and gasps. He started to thrust faster, his hips snapping against yours with a bruising force. The sound of skin slapping against skin filled the room, along with your moans and his grunts.

"Say my name," he demanded, his voice low and rough. "I want to hear you scream my name as you cum again."

"J-Joshua!" you cried out, your nails raking down his back as you felt another orgasm building up. "I'm close, please don't stop!" He grunted in response, his thrusts becoming even more erratic as he neared his own release. "I won't stop until you're a complete mess," he growled, his fingers digging into your hips hard enough to leave bruises.

With a few more powerful thrusts, you came undone again, your body trembling uncontrollably as you screamed his name. Your walls clenched tightly around his cock, sending him over the edge as well. He buried his face in your neck, biting down on your shoulder as he came inside you, his hot seed filling you up. He rode out his orgasm, his hips still moving against yours as he pumped you full of his cum. You both collapsed onto the bed, sweaty and exhausted. Joshua rolled off of you, panting heavily as he tried to catch his breath.

He pulled you into his arms, holding you close as he placed gentle kisses on your forehead and cheeks. "You did so good, baby," he said, his voice soft and gentle. "You took me so well." You snuggled into his chest, feeling completely satisfied and happy. "I love you, Josh," you mumbled, nuzzling your face against his skin. He smiled and kissed the top of your head. "I love you too, Y/N," he replied, his hand stroking your hair. "More than anything in the world."

You were about to say something when you suddenly felt a wave of exhaustion wash over you. You yawned and snuggled closer to him, too tired to form any coherent sentences. Joshua chuckled and held you tighter. "Looks like someone needs to get some sleep," he teased, amused by your tired state. Joshua smirked and ran his fingers through your hair, enjoying the way you were cuddling up to him.

"You're so cute when you're tired," he said, his voice filled with affection. "I guess I did dick you down pretty good, huh?"

[count-on-mi]

Twice Interactive Story Part 14 Push & Pull (Jihyo, Feat. Sana, Dahyun)

You put a penguin doll in Mina's arm before you leave quietly, you see Mina smiles again when she gets something in her arms again.

You get in your car and check your phone to see did anyone find you, Nayeon is not on the list. There are messages from Dahyun, Momo and Jihyo.

Dahyun 'Oppa, I am coming over tonight, remember pick me up!'

Jihyo 'Y/N, are you ok? I saw Nayeon cries when she back home last night, and she leaves again this morning.'

Momo 'Y/N, why would Nayeon know our relationship, you told her? She send me this' Momo's message and attached with a photo of Nayeon's selfie when you are fucking in doggy style just two nights before with a message 'Leave my boyfriend alone.'

You finally understand why she will stop moving for a while suddenly that time, she was taking photos.

I check how long ago the message from Dahyun was and respond accordingly. I tell Jihyo that things have changed and she doesn't have to worry about it. I tell Momo that I didn't tell Nayeon anything and that I just told her that I still went to you as a personal trainer. After all that I go home quickly to change.

You reply to Dahyun that you are going to pick her up tonight and reply to others accordingly.

You arrived home and see Jihyo resting on the sofa, 'Welcome back, Y/N. What happened yesterday, Nayeon leaves in the morning before I wake up.' You did not reply but immediately check your wardrobe, Nayeon did not bring her belongings back to her home, is it means there is still a chance for you?

"It’s nothing Jihyo, don't worry about it. My relationship status may have changed, so sex might be off the table now." I tell Jihyo as I poke my head out from my room. I start to pack Nayeon's clothes in a bag or suitcase before I have to pick up Dahyun.

'I'm definitely not asking for sex now, Y/N. But did Nayeon just find out that you have friends with benefits, I can feel it from her reactions. It's just like me before.' Jihyo comes in and helps you pack Nayeon's belongings.

"It was one person particularly. Nayeon sent a message to them about staying away from me. That being said that doesn't change anything with you staying here that way Daniel doesn't find you. Also my sisters are staying for a while." After I finish packing, I check the time.

Seeing still have some time left before you going to pick up Dahyun, you and Jihyo back to living room for some coffee.

Jihyo and you just chit-chat while waiting, 'I'm curious Y/N, if you have one more chance, will you still hook up with other girls and then break up with Nayeon? She's definitely not like me that can tolerate so much time.'

"There are two paths, if it's relationship over I'm just going to be single for a while. If she chooses to stay with me for some reason, I'll won't do it again. I've learned my lesson. If you don't kind my asking, why did you deal with it for so long?"

Jihyo looks at the ground when she hears your question, 'I once believed he will change for me, I innocently thought the marriage could make him tied to me, but I was wrong.'

'So you and Nayeon have officially broken up? Maybe we two injured souls can try to be together?' Jihyo teases you.

I chuckle before looking away "I don't know if we are broken up, if we are I wouldn't mind trying with you. But would you really be willing to try again with someone like me?"

'You know you are playboy too huh, Y/N?' Jihyo spanks your shoulder and giggles. 'I don't know, my heart always comes before my mind. But I guess I have a lot of competitors, your colleague, your friend with benefits, and also your little secretary. Mina is so obvious you know?'

"Mina does make it obvious, she'd be your biggest challenge. She's always so helpful and willing to put me first. She should really find someone better." I say with a laugh.

'Maybe She thinks you are the best for her.' Jihyo smirks and looks at the clock, '30 minutes before you got to go, a quick one?' Jihyo comes closer to you and sits on your lap.

"I don't know, what if Nayeon comes back?"

'OK, so you gonna abstinence until you know the results? Can you do it, haha? Jihyo catches your cock before she backs to her room, 'I will miss you, big guy.'

'Hey, Y/N, better finish dinner with your sister before coming back, don't wanna act like your new girlfriend when we first meet, so awkward.'

"Yeah, I will." I walk out of the apartment and head to my car to get to the airport early.

You waiting for Dahyun at the terminal while playing your phone, and you receive Momo's message that she wants to see you tonight. When you wanna reply to her, you see Dahyun rushing to you, 'Oppa!'

'Hey, Dubu, still so tiny huh.' 'Yah, Oppa.' Dahyun wants to hit your head but she's too short to reach it, so she just hit your chest.'

'Where is Nayeon eooni, I thought she is with you already.' Dahyun turns around and try to search for Nayeon.

"She won't be around Dahyun. Let's get you something to eat. What do you want to eat?" I ask to distract her.

You help Dahyun get the suitcase and guide her to your car. 'I miss the food you cook, Oppa. How about you cook for me.'

Remember what Jihyo told you, you only can reject Dahyun's request. 'Sorry, Dubu, not many ingredients left at home, maybe next time? We will just casually eat tonight.'

'Ok... I forgot how long did we last meet each other, you are much thinner, so much stress on work?'

'Nah, Dubu, just as usual, I'm fine. Did you start finding jobs, you have graduated for half a year already.'

'Ummm, I am trying, just give me sometime, oppa. I am working on it.'

"Ah Dubu, you need to look harder. And if you don't choose a place to eat I'll choose." I say as I start driving.

You drive to a random restaurant and have dinner with Dahyun, you two talk about all the things that happened from last time you meet.

'OH, Oppa, I guess I don't need to share a room with Chaeyoung, right? if Nayeon eooni is not here.' Dahyun smirks.

Your home has 3 rooms, usually, Chaeyoung and Dahyun need to sleep together when Nayeon is staying, as you don't want to cause any embarrassment to your sisters, although Nayeon is not here, now Jihyo has occupied 1 of them, maybe it's time that you should tell Dahyun you have a guest.

I explain to Dahyun the situation Jihyo is going through and that she will have to share a room with Chaeyoung.

'OH, come on, Oppa, I have expected I can have my own room at your home.' Dahyun shows a sad face. You caress Dahyun's head, 'Dubu is a good girl, right? You should understand what situation Jihyo is facing, you won't be happy too right?  And you can occupy the room until Chae arrives, don't be sad!'

'Yes, but does Nayeon eooni knows you bring a girl home?' You are a little bit frustrated that Dahyun is keep mentioning Nayeon.

"Dahyun, Nayeon and I are going through a rough patch right now. I'd appreciate it if you didn't mention her." We finish the meals and begin our ride home.

Dahyun's emotions are hard to describe, but you can catch her happiness before it disappears when she hear Nayeon and you have some arguments. You two did not talk about Nayeon again through the dinner.

You two finished the dinner and ready to back home. 'Oppa, what if we buy some snacks and watch movie together tonight?' In the meantime, you remember Momo wants to see you tonight either.

I quickly send Momo a message and ask if we could meet another time for the reason that I'm picking up Dahyun from the airport.

'Y/N, I am just so afraid that why Nayeon will know what happens, if you can't come today, how about tomorrow.' Momo replies immediately. You then drive to some snacks before back to home.

Jihyo is sitting on the sofa again when you arrive, 'OH hi Y/N, and little sister, your brother should have mentioned about me, Nice to meet you, sorry for disturbing your family day.'

I send Momo another message to say I'll meet her tomorrow, then I introduce Dahyun to Jihyo. I ask Dahyun "Dahyun would it be alright if Jihyo joined us for the movie?"

'Sure Oppa, your friend is my friend too.' Then you three sit on the sofa and start watching the movie.

You sit between Jihyo and Dahyun, each of you covering a blanket or pillow while enjoying the movie. You suddenly feel Jihyo 's chest pressing on your arm, you turn around to check Dahyun, she is too focusing on the movie and not paying attention to you.

Jihyo put a finger on her lips, tell you to keep quiet, and start caressing your cock under the blanket.

I keep quiet recognizing that if I said anything it would give it all away.

Jihyo is happy that you are so obedience and not making any noise, she put your hands into your pants and start stroking you slowly.

Seeing your body shivers from the sensation, Jihyo blows hot winds into your ear and whispers to you, 'You seems so excited when I am stroking you next to your baby sister, enjoying it?'

I whisper back "stop it, you're going to get us in trouble."

'Relax, Y/N. Let me handle it, Dahyun won't know what's happening, she loves the movie so much.' Jihyo starts stroking you faster.

You try your best to not release any moans, but Jihyo's hand is really good, and you wanna cum. Jihyo feels your cock pulsing in her hands, 'Cum for me, I am ready.' Jihyo then kisses you to cover your moan.

I cum in Jihyo’s hand, I'm grateful for the kiss as I'd otherwise release a huge moan. Once we break it off, I whisper to her "I'm going to get you back for this."

'Wow so many, you are really so excited, don't you?' Jihyo pulls out her hand and start licking it. 'You know where to find me if you want to thank me.' Jihyo whispers again before she moves to bathroom to clean her hands.

You notice Dahyun is still focusing on the movie and doesn't know Jihyo has left for bathroom.

As much as I want to get Jihyo back at this moment, I keep myself in my seat for a time before going to the bathroom.

You wait for Jihyo's return before you go to the bathroom to tidy up yourself, Dahyun finally out of her concentration and wanna sit closer to you.

'Oppa, that part is so good, isn't it? The tension is so strong.' Dahyun tries to talk about the film, but actually you are totally into Jihyo's handjob at that moment, so you could just simply answer her yes.

'Oppa, the smell is so strange suddenly, what is it?' Dahyun turning around to check what smelling strange in the living room.

"I'm not sure, did you fart Dahyun?" I joke to her, as I make sure she shouldn't see anything.

'Ya, Oppa!' Dahyun spanks you and then move back to her seat. You just giggle and start watching the movie. Finally, Jihyo has come out from the bathroom, you rush inside immediately before Dahyun could find out anything.

The rest of the night just spend normally, all of you are going to bed after movie has ended. You see Jihyo winks at you before she enters her room.

I help Dahyun get set up in her room before going back to my own.

You help Dahyun unpack her luggage, and you see some formal dressing in her suitcase, Dahyun pushes you out before you ask any questions. 'Now get out, let my enjoy my own room.'

'Aren't you have whole of the house when Chae is living in dorm, huh?'

'That's different, Oppa. Goodnight.'

You go back to your room, laying on your bed, ready to end the day. Your phone buzzes, and it's Sana message.

'I heard you have some fun with Mina alone today huh? On sick leave together and she applies it for you. The office is talking about you two again, I wish I was there too.' Sana attached a photo of her opening her clits for you.

"I was hungover from the night before Sana. I was in no condition to come in." After I respond, I just lay back and relax for a minute.

'Oh, sex after drunk? I wanna try with you too.' Sana attaches a video this time, a self cam in a high angle, she is not wearing bra in the pajamas, you can see her nipples clearly while she is playing with her tits.

"Sana just get some sleep." I delete the conversation logs after keeping things safe for myself.

'It's Friday night, why can't I have some fun before I sleep?' Sana sends you another video where she is sucking her finger while looking at the camera seductively.

You back up the video to the locked folder and prepare to clear the message log again, Sana's text comes again, 'Maybe we can try phone sex tonight? If Mina or your girlfriend is not beside you😏😏'

"Not interested Sana. You enjoy yourself." I respond before I head to the kitchen to make myself a snack.

You head to Kitchen and grab some chocolate for night snacks, you check your conversation logs with Nayeon, she still hasn’t online since last night.

You sigh and return to your room, you see Jihyo slightly opens the door of her room, enough for you to peek inside.

I look at the door debating if I should go, but first I check on Dahyun. Putting my ear to her door to see if she's awake or not.

You hear no sound from Dahyun's room, she should be asleep already. You back to the corridor and your phone buzzes again, It's Sana again.

This time the video is she masturbating with a dildo and moaning your name, 'having a dildo in my pussy, but it's nothing when comparing with you.'

"Sana, nothing is going to compare to me" and then emoji with the tongue sticking out is what I respond with. I put my phone to vibrate only and then I head back to Jihyo’s room.

You slowly enter Jihyo's room and lock the door. Jihyo is sleeping on her bed, with a sexy lace pajamas, you can see her got body inside the pajamas. You don't understand why Daniel would still hook up with others even he has a such needy and hot wife at home.

I get beside Jihyo and pull down her pajama bottoms before I start teasing her pussy. I get my other hand ready to cover her mouth, so she doesn't make noise.

Jihyo wakes up from your assault, she grabs your hand on her mouth in her pajamas to play with her tits and turns around to make out with you. You can see the lust burning in her eyes, seems she is really needy as her husband ignores her for a long time.

"Seems like you really want this Jihyo." I say as my fingers go under her panties and inside if her.

'Stop teasing me, Y/N! Put it In!' Jihyo bites your lips and row over you, wanting to ride you.

Her tits keep bouncing as she breathes heavily, you put your hand on it and start playing with it.

I roll her over so I'm on top again. Covering her mouth again, and thrusting my fingers into her pussy. "Oh no, Jihyo. You teased me earlier, it's my turn."

Jihyo's tits till bouncing, her body twists due to the sensation, 'Ah, faster Y/N, please put it in. At least I let you cum.' Jihyo starts to moan louder to contest your teasing.

"Don't worry I'll let you cum." I say as I kiss her. "Get any louder and I'll stop right now." I continue kissing Jihyo to make her be quiet.

Jihyo cannot hide her moan so she just grab your head to kiss harder, you are feeling her become tighter, you thrust your finger faster until she reaches her orgasm.

'Ummm....' Jihyo moans in your mouth when she reaches her orgasm, you finally let go of her lips and let her catch her breath, but still slowly thrust your finger in her pussy.

Her bouncing tits are so eye-catching, so you just can't wait to suck her nipples.

As much as I want to continue this I continue, i pull my fingers out and have Jihyo suck them clean before I leave.

You let Jihyo clean your fingers before you leave, 'What? That's all?' Jihyo looks in disbelief when she sees you leaving her room.

"Yep, I just wanted to get back at you." I walk back over to her, rub her pussy again. "Don't you worry, I'll make sure to fill you up next time." I kiss her cheek and then leave.

'I wear this pajama for you, Y/N. Even Daniel hasn't seen me wearing it.' Jihyo said with a sad face. You comeback and give her one more kiss and leave eventually.

You back to your room and finally start to sleep, it's already midnight. You think about tomorrow's date with Momo before you fall asleep.

I'll wake the next morning well rested and ready for the day.

[lesmiix]

hc for Hyun-ju confessing? I’m or out of games? Idk whatever sparks your interest ❤️

HEADCANON: Confession

Hyun-ju x g/n reader

Summary: How would Hyun-ju confess her feelings to you? (in the games and out of the games)

Warnings: None, just fluff.

a/n: English's not my first language, there may be some grammatical or orthography mistakes 😞

💗HYUN-JU REQUESTS ARE OPEN!!!💗

In the games:

You both met during red light green light, as you both helped a guy who was injured.

Since then, You've been together, talking about everything and nothing, being there and comforting each other when you were down.

You were the first person in that place that she admitted to that she was trans. And you being the first person to accept her only strengthened your relationship.

You used to sleep together, if it wasn't in the same bed, it would be in beds that were next to each other.

You once woke up in the middle of the night, and the urge to go to the bathroom kept you from sleeping, so you slowly got out of bed, not wanting to wake up Hyun-ju, who was sleeping next to you.

"Where are you going?" Her voice startled you a little.

"I have to use the bathroom"

She wouldn't let you go alone, afraid that someone would do something to you.

"I'll come with you".

You both were washing your hands, in a comfortable silence but as you looked at your reflection, you noticed the nervousness on Hyun-ju's face

"Hey Hyunnie, is everything alright?"

"Y/n... I have been thinking..." She softly muttered.

You looked at her, slightly confused.

"I think... I think I've started to fall in love with you. I know is not the right place or the right time, but... Seeing the circumstances, I guess is better to let you know." She let out a soft chuckle. "So it's okay if you don't feel the same, I don't want things to change between us." She looked onto the floor, a bit embarrassed, thinking what could be the worst thing you could answer.

Seeing that she didn't get any response from you, she turned her gaze to you, only to find you staring at her in disbelief.

"I'm sorry I shouldn't have-" She started, anxiety starting to run through her body. You really found her really cute, so you didn't lose the chance and leaned in for a soft kiss.

"No no, Hyun-ju, it's okay, is just... I've never thought that you'd... like me back." You said nervously as you pulled back, not knowing how to react. Not knowing how she would react. "Actually, I've liked you too for a while now... I was trying to work up the courage to tell you."

That was the best night of your life.

Out of the games:

You and Hyun-ju have been friends for years now, since you two were kids. You had always been there for each other, even when she started her transition and her family kicked out of her house, you welcomed her into yours.

Those close interactions between you both, like you going to her bedroom at night, to ask her if you could sleep with her as you were scared of storms, watching movies on the couch, leaning on each other's shoulders and sharing the food made her star to develop other feelings for you.

One day she finally decided to tell you how she felt about you. So she decided to take you out for dinner to a nice restaurant.

You had an excellent dinner, the food was amazing and you had a very smooth and entertaining conversation. You really had a lot of fun that night.

You both decided to go for a walk, just to enjoy the breeze of the summer night.

You were walking on the beach, along the shore, the cold water crashing against your feet.

Suddenly you noticed how Hyun-ju held your hand. You didn't push her away, instead, you grabbed her hand firmly, enjoying the warmth.

"Thank you for today, Hyunnie" You said, smiling at her.

"Don't thank me, you've already done a lot for me, it's the least I can do." She let out a giggle. "You know, I really appreciate everything you've done for me these past few years... You know, with all that transition stuff, letting me stay at your house and making me feel loved every day." Her eyes met yours as she smiled back at you.

"Of course, pretty girl, I'm glad you feel that safe with me" She suddenly stopped the step.

"You don't understand, darling."

"Huh? What do you mean?" You innocently asked.

"I like you, y/n, I really do. I've done it for a while now." She shyly looked into your eyes, trying to read your reaction.

You were too shocked to react. Your body did the thinking before your brain could and you slowly leaned towards her, Your gaze lowering to her lips, and back to her eyes, searching for permission. Finally she closed the space between you.

a/n: I genuinely loved making this, I hope you liked these too!!

[rookamell]

There are people who are going to disagree with me on this for thematic Rook/Solas reasons and that's ok, but I've been stewing on this for a few weeks now and I truly believe the Regret Prison was the biggest missed oppertunity to have a Fort Drakon Part 2: Electric Boogaloo.

So Rook falls in behind the statue of Varric, and the screen fades to black, and it switches to the companions in the Lighthouse library. I can't decide but I'm leaning toward the scene indicating that a substantial amount of time has passed (three weeks in game? That's a good time?) and the companions are arguing, because of course they are, because Rook isn't there to 'lead'.

Idk how, but somehow Emmrich locates Rook in the Fade, but there's some sort of barrier, obviously, because Rook can't find their way out of their own in this scenario: so We (the team) have to go in an find them.

BUT! Oh no! Emmrich can only hold the Fade open (or however you say it) long enough for two people to get through. So your love interest obviously immediately jumps at the chance, and then whichever companion you have the highest bond/ most approval with goes with them. (Could be a good way to incorporate the bond/approval thing they have going on in the game, because I don't think they utilised it enough AT ALL) if you didn't romance anyone, it's just the two with the highest approval.

So you play as these two, and you have to work together to face Rook's Regrets. (You could even have a callback here to the Gauntlet in Origins when you have to get Andraste's Ashes when you fight whichever companions you brought, but instead maybe its whichever companions you fucked over so Neve/Bellara, Lace/Davrin, Neve/Lucanis <- sucks a little that Neve is there twice but this is a work in progress, ok?) and obviously you face a bunch of other stuff (maybe have to answer some questions about what Rook did for the team like in Inner Demons? Idk) and the 'final boss' is Varric, who is already standing with Rook.

The kicker here is that the 'boss fight' is not a fight, your success or lack thereof depends on 1.) how much your companions approve of you and 2.) if they are all heroes of the Veilguard (aka if you actually did as Varric asked and 'looked after the team for [him], kid')

And then Rook and whoever is there share a moment before they all move on and get back to the others yadda yadda.

I get why they didn't do this because 1.) I think it would take A Lot to implement in the game actually and idk if they had the time/budget for that, and 2.) there is a theme there with Solas being stuck in his regret and Rook being able to make their way out.

But as for 2.) I think you could still say there's a Rook/Solas thing there because Solas pushed everyone away while Rook embraced their team/friends and so they got out because they had people willing to help them get out. Like I said, I know people aren't going to agree with that but it's just my take.

It would have been a cool way to show how much the companions do care about Rook and also gain some insight into Rook that's not their perspective. Also it would actually add to the whole 'found family' thing the game tries to tell you is what's happening in a very tell not show way. This could be the 'show'.

Just some thoughts anyway

[spencewalterreid]

V-day Bouquet

Summary: You'd just spend Valentine's Day alone like always, but why would you when he lives right across the hall?

Pairing: Spencer Reid x gn!reader

Category: fluff!

Warning: making out. kinda fade-to-black smut. rated tv-14..? i think?

Word Count: 1.8k

Author's Note: y'all like the pink? I hope you don't like it too much because it is not staying:) I just thought I'd be festive. This is only one of 3 fics I'm gonna do for V-day! The other two will be on my other two blogs; I'm gonna do an Ellie X Reader (probably, almost positively smut) and some destiel! I've never posted fics for either other blogs so I'm excited:) I've been doing a lot of angst and sadder stuff lately so here's some kinda dirty, mostly innocent fluff:) enjoy and remember to REBLOG if you enjoyed it!!

It's Valentine’s day. Your 19th Valentines day all on your own. As always, your plans are riveting: Gilmore Girls, your couch, and a heart-shaped cardboard box bought with your own debit card. Except…

See, there's this guy that moved into your apartment complex.

He's probably taken. You’re sure. You’ve heard him talking on the phone about "cases", so he's either a lawyer or some kind of law enforcement. Either would be impressive given he can't be more than 5 years older than you at the most. Nonetheless, you find yourself wondering how he might react if you brought these chocolates to him. On your way to the checkout, you stop. Turning on your heels, you traipse down the aisles to the card section and find a relatively ambiguous one, then select a bouquet of flowers. You decided on sunflowers. He always looks so tired, you’re sure he could use something cheerful.

***

Spencer sat hunched over his laptop at the kitchen table, the soft glow of the screen illuminating his concentration. The house was quiet, save for the occasional clack of keys and the faint murmur of the TV playing in the background - some cheesy Valentine's Day special that no one was watching.

He had been working for the past few hours, pouring over case files and forensic data, when there’s a knock at the door. He glances up, his eyes jumping between the laptop and the front door as he considers whether to ignore it. He’ s in the middle of something important, after all, but the knock came again, more insistent this time.

Standing up, Spencer makes his way to the door and opens it to find you standing there, looking uncomfortable and nervous. You’re wearing a t-shirt and jeans, your hair a bit disheveled. You look like you’re trying to work up the nerve to say something.

"Can I help you?" Spencer asks bluntly, wanting to get to the point.

You swallow hard, glancing down at the heart-shaped box in your hands before meeting Spencer's gaze. "I'm sorry to bother you, but I've seen you around the complex, and..."

You take a deep, long breath, steel yourself, and continue. "I just think you're really pretty. And you're probably taken, and I'm sorry if that's the case and I just totally overstepped, but you only live once, right? And, like, I was just gonna watch some rom-com or something-"

Spencer blinks slowly as you ramble on, surprised by the unexpected invitation. He knows he should refuse, should tell you that he was too busy for such frivolous activities. But there’s something about your nervousness, your sincerity, that makes him hesitate. It had been a long time since anyone had wanted to spend time with him just for the sake of it. Normally people avoid him, put off by his intensity and social awkwardness.

Against his better judgment, Spencer finds himself considering the offer. "I...I don't know," he says slowly. "I'm pretty busy with work most of the time."

"I get it," you reply quickly. "I totally understand. It's cool, no pressure or anything. I just thought I'd ask."

Spencer is silent for a long moment before nodding slowly. "Alright. Okay." He turns around and does a once-over of his atrociously messy apartment, and against his better judgement, presses the door open further. "Come in.”

Spencer leads the way into the apartment, glancing back over his shoulder to make sure you’re following. The living room is a mess, with stacks of books and papers strewn across every surface. An old couch sat against one wall, covered in blankets and pillows. A box-television stands in the corner, the screen flickering with the near-muted images of a Valentine's Day movie.

"Sorry about the mess," Spencer mutters, grabbing a few of the books off the couch and tossing them onto a nearby chair. "I haven't had much time to clean up lately."

He turns to face you, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. "So...uh...what did you want to watch?" he asks, trying to make conversation. Small talk is not his forte.

Spencer watches as you look around the apartment, taking in the chaos. He can see the surprise in your eyes, the slight wrinkle of your nose as you try to make sense of the disarray. He knows it’s a lot to take in, but he can’t help feeling a sense of pride at the same time. At least someone was interested in him, even if it was just for a night.

"I don't really have a preference," you say with a shrug. "Whatever you want to watch is fine with me."

Spencer nods, considering the options. He isn’t much of a movie buff, but he does have a few favorites that he likes to watch when he has the time. "How about Pretty Woman? I rented it last weekend but never got around to it," he suggests, grabbing the DVD off a nearby shelf.

A small smile tugs at the corner of your mouth. "I love that movie," you say, impressed that someone like Spencer would want to watch that, let alone rent it.

Satisfaction washes over him at your reaction. Maybe this night wouldn't be so bad after all. He pops the DVD into the player and settles onto the couch, patting the spot next to him for you to sit down.

For just a second, fleetingly, you hesitate. He just looks so warm. He’s wearing a crocheted sweater and pajama pants, and his hair is a damn mess. You’re starting to sense a trend. Nonetheless, you trudge over to the piece of furniture and settle in next to him.

"Oh!" You remember the bag in your hand as you go to set it down, then come to your senses and put it in your lap. "I, uh, I got these for you." You first reveal the bouquet of sunflowers, peeking out of the top of the bag. "Sorry, they're a little jostled from the travel."

The boy lights up, grinning as he takes them from your hands. "They're perfect," he hums, delicately pulling the top of the paper back to inspect the petals. "Did you know that if you touch the petals of a flower, it will wither quicker? The oils on your hands are detrimental to the proteins in the petals."

You smile. "Yeah, actually, I did. My cousin told me that when I was little. I got these, too," you continue, handing him the chocolates and card.

He takes both of them, too, after gently laying the flowers down on the only clear spot atop the coffee table. He sets the chocolates on his lap and flips the card open, reading the hurriedly scrawled handwriting on the inside.

Beneath the generic "To someone special... Happy Valentine's Day!":

Pardon my boldness, but you look like you'd make for a pretty damn good Valentine. Be mine?

As you re-read it upside down alongside him, you realize how brazen it really seems.

"I meant, uh. I just meant to be my Valentine," you chuckle. "Not, uhm. Not mine. Sorry, I-"

"It's okay," he interrupts, tracing the handwriting with his fingertips. "I get it. I'll be your Valentine." The card joins the flowers on the table and he gets up. "You can play the movie, I'll just be a moment."

He takes the flowers with him and disappears into the kitchen.

You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding, sinking into the plush fabric and unknotting your hands you don’t remember arranging in such a tense manner. Your gaze holds on the doorway he’d just walked through. How lucky are you?

As the movie starts, Spencer finds himself glancing over at you through the top of the half-wall separating the two rooms, taking in the way you’re watching the screen with rapt attention. He has to admit, it’s nice to have someone to share this with. He isn’t sure how to feel about your abrupt appearance in his apartment, or about having a Valentine for the first time in his life, but he’d like to think he’s glad. After a few moments, he returns with the flowers arranged carefully in a vase. He sets them down gingerly on the coffee table, and when he’s satisfied they’re positioned just right, settles onto the couch.

You must feel bold, because you shift enough for your thigh to touch his.

You get to the point of the movie where the two main characters kiss for the first time, and you say, “I will never forget my first kiss.”

As you’re shaking the smile off your lips, you feel Spencer go rigid next to you. Shit.

“Have you had your first kiss?” No, no, no. Shut up. Would you be fucking quiet for once in your pathetic life? Why would you–

“No,” he replies, voice low and shameful, pulling you out of your miniature spiral.

Your brain quiets and stills, whirring to an abrupt standstill. Even the movie approaches a lull, and you look at him. “Oh.”

When he turns to catch your eyes, it’s made so much worse. His curls fall just perfectly over his eyebrows, and his lips are pursed in thought, and his eyebrows are knitted together, and he–

You’d really like to know what he feels like.

“Do you want to?”

The room is static. You can feel his heartbeat in his thigh against yours, can hear his breaths and almost feel them against your face with how close you are.

He doesn’t reply, but he nods.

He turns the movie down with the remote in his left hand but keeps eye contact as if he were afraid if he broke it, you’d disappear.

You bring your hand up and place it on his cheek.

Seconds pass like hours as he leans in, soft puffs of air against your lips and just as you close your eyes:

Fireworks. Tiny little jolts of energy turn into full-blown explosions, glass shattering and wood splintering.

He’s sweet and warm, but hard and firm at the same time. On instinct, his hands go to tangle in your hair and pull ever-so-slightly at the roots. He lets out a whine, high and delicate. It’s everything in you to keep the hand on his cheek soft.

Your free hand goes to his shoulder, and with absolutely zero confidence and feeling like your heart is about to come up with your lunch, you ask, “Can I get on your lap?”

Again, silence on his end, but his hands drop from your hair in favour of your hips to lift you onto him. Jesus, you were not expecting that level of strength.

Okay, so probably not a lawyer.

Settled on the tops of his thighs, one hand goes right back to your head, but the other goes to the small of your back to pull you into him. As lovely as kissing him is, you wonder…

You break from his lips to trail your mouth down. First the corner of his mouth, then his cheek, then his jaw, and the second you get to his neck he moans. No more whimpers and whines; this was a guttural, meaning thing.

“Please,” he groans.

Experimentally, you tilt your hips down and notice, quite jarringly, that he is fucking hard.

“Bedroom,” you gasp.

“Yeah.”

---

Let me know if you want a part 2 :)

[kitsunexgari]

Summary: You have been dating In-ho for quite awhile, and though things are amazing, there’s one fantasy you’ve always wanted to try. Something a bit darker than usual. One night he surprises you with your darkest desires. Tags: Edge Play, Torture, Fear play, Dom/Sub, Restraints, Consensual but pretty insane. Knife play, spanking, fingering, face fucking, orgasm denial, forced orgasms, humiliation, degradation, dirty talk, Read with Caution. Notes: This story is definitely not for everyone and may contain elements that people aren’t entirely happy with. Please read with caution. This story is for adult entertainment only. 

You have been dating In-ho for quite a long time now and both of you get along amazingly. Luckily when it all started you were both into the same things, wanted to explore the same concepts and eventually went from normal BDSM into edge play. Your sex life was anything but boring or vanilla but there was something in the back of your mind you always wanted to try. 

He always seemed kind of hesitant telling you that you wouldn't like it, that the fantasy was better than the reality. Not that he was really being dismissive or rude, just concerned that it could be too intense and scare you a bit too much. You reminded him that you had a safe word so if it got that way then it wouldn't matter but he didn't seem too keen on it. You figured that maybe he was right and you could live without that fantasy at least for now.

Still every time you entered the house alone it was on your mind. The thought of some intruder grabbing you, taking you somewhere “against your will” and forcing you into submission. Of course, the fantasy was for In-ho to do this while pretending to be someone else, and also, you knew he could because of who he was. You could see how it may not interest him, basically asking for him to “work” and also have sex with you but it never left the back of your mind.

In-ho had been out of town for a bit for work and you were returning from your own job. As you head into the kitchen to heat up some leftover food from the night before you are grabbed from behind. A knife presses into your throat as a hand covers your mouth. You scream and struggle until you realize you recognize this hold, you recognize this scent, you know exactly what and who this is even if you never expected it in a million years. Your heart is still pounding because he doesn't seem very keen on breaking the immersion of this fantasy despite your reaction.

"All alone?" He growls in your ear. 

"Yes I-" 

"SHUT UP!" he snarls, the knife pressing into your skin sharply cutting it just a bit. You hiss with pain but your body shivers with pleasure, completely stunned he's using a real knife but you have no complaints. He's done things like this before and you've always loved the little marks he's left to signify how much he owns you. "I know exactly what I'm going to do with you, little girl." 

You can feel him as he rubs against you a bit, how aroused he is already. You are a bit stunned as he always made it seem as if this scenario didn't interest him in the slightest but it is now clear that he'd been lying to you about it. He leans in and bites at your neck roughly, on the other side, as he keeps the knife pressed where it's already being held before he reaches up and grabs you by the hair yanking your head back so you are forced to look up at him at a nearly impossible angle.

"We are going to have a lot of fun," He grins. The switchblade he's holding is pocketed and you are pulled by your hair into the next room where he quickly pins you face first into a wall. "Such a pretty little cocktease you know I've been watching you for awhile." He grabs your ass, squeezing it painfully hard before yanking your arms behind your back and tying them at the wrists with some annoyingly rough and irritating rope but that just adds to the rest of the sensations that he is providing you. 

"Please-" 

"Please what? Do you think I fucking care what a little fuck toy like you wants? No...you're mine now and I will do what ever I please and you will do what I fucking say...got it?" He snaps though he doesn't give you any actual time to answer before he lifts you and throws you over his shoulder roughly. You squeal, not expecting that at all but he pays no attention to it. You are far too small and powerless to fight him, even if you actually wanted to, and now your arms are restrained behind your back making any effort futile. You kick your legs a bit which really only earns you a slap to your ass. Then another, then another. He's not being gentle either, in fact, he's using as much force as possible and it's harder than it's ever been. You are sure it will bruise but the idea of that only makes you wet. 

"Please...sir I don't want-" 

"The fuck did I just say about what you want?" He snarls and heads up the stairs with you. "Who's even gonna stop me, that weak little boyfriend of yours? Yes...I know." 

"He's-" 

"Oh no bitch...I'm your Daddy tonight." He cuts you off. You enter the bedroom and he throws you onto the bed with very little regard for your feelings, almost as if you are just a sex doll there for his pleasure. He looks you over with a gleam in his eye. The switchblade is once again removed from his back pocket. You whine and back up on the bed but there isn't much you can do with your hands tied like they are. The blade pops up and he joins you, crawling over you to hold the knife right where you can see it. Your eyes naturally focus on the weapon in his hand. "Going to be a good girl?" 

"Y-Yes..." You breathe but he slaps you roughly and then grabs your chin forcing you to look right back at him. 

"YES. WHAT?" He demands. 

"Y-Yes...Daddy." You whimper. 

"That's a good girl," He replies in a voice that is as sinister as it is soothing. He runs his tongue over the knife lewdly before he moves the blade down to your blouse, using it to slowly and meticulously pop off each button until he has it open. His strange grin gets even bigger when your breasts are partially exposed but he wastes no time cutting the bra open from the front to release them. "Fuck..." He leans in, starting to lick over your chest, seemingly making sure to leave behind as much saliva as he possibly can. 

"Please!" You beg pathetically, though what you really want is his cock you also don't know what kind of punishment you will get for not cooperating or what he'll do to you if you start begging like a pathetic little whore. 

"PLEASE! PLEASE HELP ME!" He taunts in a mocking voice before using the knife to make a cut across the top of your breasts, nothing that will scar or bleed too much but enough to sting. You cry out in pain and look away from him before he grabs your hair and turns your head back to look at him, roughly, and spits in your eyes. "You better start acting like the whore you are for him, you think I don't know huh? Bet you suck his cock real good little girl." 

"I...I don't-" 

"You don't what? I know what girls like you do...what you want...you fucking whore." He accuses moving the blade he's been using to your lips. "Give it a kiss...for Daddy." You whine and try to shy away but he persists until you have no choice but to kiss the blade. He laughs before violently stabbing the knife into the wall right by your head. Not expecting that you scream loudly, that seemed like a close call. 

"FUCK!" You yell then shy away from him as you notice that he didn't like a scream that loud in his face. 

"Fuck? Is that what you want? Thought you did, glad to see you're coming around on this." He grins. He pats your face roughly as if you are some sort of idiot lap dog before running his hand roughly up your thigh and under your skirt to your panties. "Looks like someone's hot and wet for Daddy..." He teases. You thrust up towards his hand and can't help but moan. He growls, shoving your panties aside to get two fingers in there roughly. You moan again and he leans in, capturing your mouth in a sloppy wet kiss. It seems he's intentionally being awful at this which only really makes it better.

"You think I'm really going to let you cum like this huh? Before me? Before DADDY?" He asks. You look at him, dumbfounded, then shake your head no slightly. He laughs, removes the fingers from your cunt and jams them into your mouth roughly, making you choke and gag, his other hand holding the back of your head in place so you can't possibly get away from this. "Think again...Daddy cums first and then maybe if you make it real good he'll let you cum too. Got that?" He pulls his fingers from your mouth and you gasp and cough trying to get your breath back. 

"Y-es Daddy...of course..." You pant. 

"Now...show me how you suck his cock." He tells you. He grabs your ankle and slides you down until you are on your back. Getting over you he unbuttons then unzips his pants, getting them down only far enough to get his cock out. He straddles you so he's right over your face, stroking himself a few times but he's already incredibly hard. Dripping precum. HIs hand moves to your jaw to pry it open before he jams himself in there angling his body in just the right way that he slips into your throat if you like it or not. "Oh yeah...fuck...that's a good little girl bet you don't ever let Daddy do this do you? No, you're too fucking good for that shit...stuck up little spoiled princess..." He's panting and even growling like an animal as he starts to fuck your throat almost as brutally as he'd fuck your cunt. It's restrained, of course, but it's still pretty rough. Not that you care, he hasn't ever done this before and you are in absolute heaven being used in such a fashion. 

"That's right...you're nothing but a dirty little bitch huh? I know you’re nice and fucking ready for me aren't you? But you aren't getting this cock...no you're just getting my cum going to take it like a good girl and like it." He pants and speeds up a bit. You know the best thing to do here is just relax and take it but luckily at this angle it makes it much easier for him to do what he's doing and keeps the gagging and choking to the minimum. You are already an expert at deep throating so that was never a problem but he's never attempted to literally fuck your throat. His groans are loud, coupled with angry almost feral growls as he continues his assault. Every so often he pulls back just enough to make sure you can get in a few gasps of air before going back to it until his hand grips at your hair tightly, yanking it back. 

He lets out an almost glorious roar as he cums but he makes sure to move back to get it in your mouth and then stroke the rest of it over your face and hair. You swallow when you get the chance, gasping loudly as you don't expect the rest of it. He smiles and sits back, admiring his work before he grabs your throat and shoves you until you are sitting up and looking him in the eyes as much as you can through the cum he left on your face.

"You pretend like you don't know what you're doing but you fucking know...I know all about girls like you. Get up." He snaps. All you can do is nod and scramble to your feet the moment he releases you. He gets up as well, tucking his cock away as you feel a sad pang that you won't be getting fucked with that tonight and yet, it'll still all be worth it, you are sure whatever he's about to do will make up for that. Grabbing your hair again he forces you down to bend over the bed. You struggle with your restraints and he shoves your skirt up over your hips to expose you from behind. He pulls the belt from his pants easily enough and lashes you a few times roughly. 

"Such a pretty little cunt...nice ass too...bet he loves that." He snarls and strikes you again causing another scream. "FUCKING THANK YOUR DADDY FOR TEACHING YOU A LESSON BITCH!" 

"T-Thank...Thank you Daddy! I deserve this!" You yell back without thinking. 

"Deserve it...for...what?" He demands punctuating the last two words with the most brutal slaps yet. You are sure he has broken the skin there and you become more positive as the belt drops and he grabs your ass again, squeezing it tightly. You scream.

"Thank you Daddy! I...I deserve this for being such a horrible...cockteasing...slut!" You sob, mostly because you are so desperate to cum it's painful and he's only denying you the pleasure you seek. He chuckles and slaps your cunt with his hand next as it is in the perfect position for that with how you are bent over the bed. For whatever reason, that's enough to send you over the edge to your climax. You squeal and writhe against the bed, pulling at the restraints around your wrists roughly. 

"Oh....no no little girl no one gave you permission to do that, you cum when Daddy tells you to cum," He breathes in a deliciously evil voice. His fingers penetrate you again, roughly but knowing exactly what you like. You squeal, as you are hypersensitive right now but he doesn't show any signs of relenting. He starts to use his thumb to stimulate your clit. You scream in pleasure and in pain almost unable to catch your breath, struggling to get away from him just as much as you struggle for more stimulation your body doesn't really know what it wants. "Aww is the poor little slut tired of cumming already?" 

"DADDY!" You screech but it doesn't matter, a moment later you a climaxing again and again, against your will but fuck...is it amazing. Pain, ecstasy, everything combined into one until you are certain you will pass out. Seemingly only after he's milked your body for every last orgasm it can possibly get he stops and removes his hand. He pats your ass gently and picks you up in his arms kissing your forehead. 

"You okay?" He asks softly. You glance up at him lazily, noticing his playful grin despite all his protests about not wanting to do this before you can see how proud he is of his own performance, and yours as well. 

"Yes," You whisper, "Thank you." 

"Come on, let's get you cleaned up." He says, then carries you towards the bathroom. You don't think you've ever experienced anything so intense with him before and you are grateful that this is the type of thing you two can share and enjoy together. 

[midnightshindig]

what if cecil’s spouse was one of the guardians omniman killed in the first episode 👀

Cecil x OgGotG!Reader

Damn we all need some therapy, huh?

I've been getting a lot of angst requests and if you requested angst, and I haven't done it yet- especially if it's a Viltrumite reader, it's mostly because I'm mentally quite soft and it takes a lot more out of me to write good angst than good smut or fluff

Don't let this make anyone feel bad or stop requesting, I love it, but I just wanna be transparent about my process

You guys are amazing at requests though I eat this shit up EVERY time

Fic below the cut!!

I'll be honest idrk how to format this

Cecil and you are married in secret due to your status as a Guardian of the Globe

and it actually works out quite well

He's able to trust you to not die, and he's not constantly anxious you're going to get murked in battle

your power is super healing, like on some Deadpool type shit it should be virtually impossible to kill yo-

what the fuck.

Cecil and Donald arrive on scene at GHQ and there's blood everywhere.

Literally.

Everywhere.

Now Cecil is a tough man, he's been through stuff that would make the average person lose touch with reality

But this makes him almost throw up.

By far the worst part is that he can tell which blood Is yours because it's actively bubbling and trying to pull itself back together

The rescue team is trying to scoop you into a pile so you can reform, but there just isn't enough of you

Just blended and mashed guts and viscera, like your insides had been slushies before you'd died, and you'd been torn to shreds

but your blood was bubbling

could you even really die? Could you feel this? Could you think? What was Cecil going to do?

He watched you struggle to come back, and after THE IMMORTAL couldn't be resuscitated, he knew it was over

Your blood levelled and there was no effort to reform

maybe you'd finally died, perhaps you'd just given up

He didn't know.

He's pissy when he gets home, he can't cry, he's not sure he physically can

He wants to, but he's alone now, in his house, there's nothing stopping him

but he can't.

He looks at your wedding photos on the mantle, and down to the band on his hand

The cleanup team leaves yours in a box on his desk the next day

and he sobs.

He sobs so hard and so violently Donald clears the room, before excusing himself.

He hasn't cried since he took his job the GPA, this is decades' worth of tears just built up and pouring out of him as he clutches your ring to his chest

His was a black tungsten band, yours the very same band with Lonsdaleite set in. The two strongest materials available to him so you could wear it in battle.

He remembers asking you to marry him, and sobs harder

The two of you are on the beach, a ridiculous venture to get Cecil over his distaste for it. He's younger then, shortly after accepting his position at the GPA

"Y'know-" you start, adjusting your sunhat as he grimaces on the towel laid out for him, under a large umbrella "I don't understand how you can hate the beach, it's so cheery!"

"You get sand in your ass and the water is polluted, there are screaming children everywhere and this beach allows dogs."

You roll your eyes, leaning over to kiss the top of his head before standing back up

"Well I'm going into the water, you don't hate me, do you?"

"No, of course not. I know what you're doing, Y/n, it won't work."

"Noooooo, of course not" You wink at him, leaving him under his umbrella as you head into the water.

Ah hell.

He adjusts so that the ring box in his pocket isn't so obvious

This should go well. This has to go well.

You're at the beach until sunset, when Cecil is so anxious he springs into action without any thought

He doesn't have a speech prepared

He doesn't have anything prepared except the ring in his pocket

but fuck, it's so picturesque.

"Y/n- Y/n get out of the water!" He calls to you, but you just stick a tongue out at him

"If you wanna talk to me you have to get in!"

He can't believe you're doing this to him- or rather, he's marrying you because you do this to him.

And so Cecil plunges into the water, all the way up to his hips in it before he reaches you

You smile wide at him "Ahh you got in!! What's up?"

The wind blows the hat off your head as Cecil pulls out his ring, unable to kneel due to the water

"Will you marry me?"

"..."

"...??????" He's stressing out

"...!!" You're estatic

You tackle him into a hug, plummeting you both into the water

so much for not getting his hair wet

"Oh Cecil- this ring is beautiful!"

"Haha- I know, and it's resilient too, you can wear it while fighting..."

"and never take it off..." He finishes to himself, wiping the tears from his eyes and hoisting himself up, braced against the desk in front of him.

"Ugh... that's embarrassing. I can't believe it." He tries to put back on the tough guy act, but there's a pain in his heart and in his gut and everywhere. It hurts everywhere.

This is when Donald pokes his head back in with a box of tissues and a warm beverage

He doesn't say anything, just brings it over and sits in the desk chair next to where Cecil is holding himself up

After a long silence, Cecil nods at him, taking a drink from the mug

It isn't better, but it helps.

[fairuzfan]

I actually thought of both zone of interest and NOPE while writing this post i think both movies are amazing in their own ways but my issue is that these are outliers compared to the state of movies these days. Zone of interest especially since it's fresh in my mind vs NOPE which I haven't watched recently, has a relatively Avante Garde approach to sound design and acting which is why its so unique and I actually disagree with a previous post of mine about the menu being one of top 3 because of both movies mentioned which are on a different level imo.

But, at risk of sounding like a snob, I think a lot of movies these days fail in providing an actual cohesive story and a lot (not all of course but I guess from the ones I've seen) feel like separate events that don't narratively work together. For a movie to work imo the visuals have to tell at least part of the story either by providing information visually or by manipulating the camera and lighting to evoke a certain atmosphere. I feel like these days people treat movies as sanitized versions of real life in a way that feels.... instagrammy i guess if that makes sense. This could be though that I'm just not watching the right movies recently.

I haven't watched dune for a variety of reasons and I'm probably not going to watch it so I can't comment on it. But a space themed movie i did watch was interstellar and I think the only thing that made the film good was the soundtrack I think the visuals and story itself were average at best. Not to say it's comparable to dune but it comes to mind as an example of a movie that was considered really good but is actually meh. And the thing is I love watching interstellar, I rewatch it a lot but I don't think the storytelling is all that good.

I do agree tho that a vast majority of movies are not artistic masterpieces but I feel a lot of artistry in general is kind of an afterthought while making a movie in that storytelling feels secondary to "how much cool stuff can we fit into this movie to boost it's ratings and make money". I don't necessarily think that's the fault of movie makers themselves and moreso the state of consumerism today.

Like imo you can have below average visuals but if you employ the visuals in a way that furthers the storytelling it can be a good movie. But if you ruin the storytelling (both in how the visuals are used and how the story is written) but stunning graphics then it's a bad movie (cough cough marvel movies).

But tbh this is my personal opinion and I could be totally wrong I just think that there's a pretty obvious focus on consumerism that pushes movies away from cohesive storytelling.

You see movies have no artistry these days, I'm convinced they don't hire actual cinematographer and directors of photography and just hire random people, the color graders don't know how to color grade and scripts are mostly just slop these days. The acting usually sucks as well.

[castoff-comic]

Hi! I really liked how you introduced Liam as a transgender character so casually, making it feel like a natural part of the world. Can you tell us more about that? Are there gonna be more trans characters in the future?

Ye!! So in general I favor naturalistic storytelling- thinking of the characters as real people and we're just getting a glimpse into their lives. I don't like when characters have conversations that are clearly just exposition for the reader, it can feel really clunky and awkward.

Liam's "coming out to the audience" scene was tricky to write- I needed to be obvious enough that readers could catch on, but not so obvious it felt like the characters having a conversation just for the audience. I actually had a bunch of help with that scene in particular- several trans/nb folks from Spiderforest pitched in as sensitivity readers and suggested ideas and bits of dialogue, which I was very thankful for!

But yeah, in general, for Liam I was very specifically going for "trans character whose identity is not the main focus of their storyline". It's something I've seen lots of folks wish there was more of- trans people existing in a story without there being a huge focus on their identity. Just letting them be part of the world and going about their business. I know I've had similar thoughts about ace characters so I get it

As far as more trans characters in the story in the future, I'm not sure? I don't currently have any plans for too many new additions to the cast, but I'm keeping things flexible if opportunity arises. Also, I know we haven't gotten much of Liam or the rest of the Zera crew, but they'll definitely be getting more as the story goes on, there's some stuff coming up I'm hype about in upcoming chaptersssss

[heart-of-the-morningstar]

Hi! I've seen your rant about dating and being asexual. I know how you feel. I've felt like this for a long time, and no, you don't come off as bitter or envious. You're just hurt.

I'm spending this Valentines Day alone too. The person I love the most only sees the physique. Oh, and the sexual, which I can't because I'm really sex repulsed. People only seem to care for looks, and that really hurts when you're offering love and not just carnal things. So I get how you feel, I'm being through the same right now.

I felt really bad, because you always cheer up a lot of people with your fics. If I'm being honest, I don't usually read NSFW parts, I prefer to read just the cute and fluffy stuff to at least pretend I'm being loved, so yeah, I felt bad and needing to tell one of my favourite writers that you're not alone.

I'm being honest with you and telling you're a wonderful person, and if finding love is difficult for you it's because of how things seem to work this days. Being ace isn't easy this days. I agree with you on the waiting till marriage, it's a choice, but it seems to be less respected than chosing to just go sleeping with everyone. People want instant gratification, and casual sex gives that gratification without needing to give away anything like in a relationship.

It hurts really much. I guess you know how I feel when I see the person I love most, someone who've I always treated like the most precious person in the world, get into casual relationships that usually end up with that person getting a broken heart. So yeah, you're not the only one feeling like that. Unfortunately, society has forgotten about real love.

But there's still hope. There'll always be hope. I've seen that you're in your weight lose journey, and I must congratulate you. Being healthy is a good decision, not only for the looks, because it'd help your health, also the mental one. I recommend you that if you keep feeling like this, you should go to a therapist. They're usually really helpful, but I don't know much about your situation so you're the one who knows yourself better. Anyways, I'm losing my point with this shitty rant. You're expressing yourself through the things you like (in this case that really good fiction about Hell's greatest dad), you're getting healthier, I think this is the best moment to make a change. To start thinking that you're good enough without needing to please people. You can find love. I know you do. You're a nice person, and I'm sure that one day things will get better for you. Maybe you'll spend Valentines Day alone, but who knows? Everyday is a good day to find love. Maybe you'll start a relationship in March 6th or January 2nd. It doesn't have to necessarily be February 14th (I know that date really hurts, but just think about it: it's like a day to think about what you can do to be really comfortable and happy in the romance topic).

I'd say that I hope this helps you, but well, this is just a shitty anon who doesn't even speak English properly rant. I just saw your rant and thought "shit, I can't let this happen, I have to try to make things better even if I know I can't".

So I'm sorry if this was weird, stupid, didn't make you feel better... But in resume:

-You're not alone, being ace is kinda difficult this days

-You're a great person

-You're doing a great job overcoming obstacles, you now just need to learn to love yourself (it's difficult, it can take a lot of times, but I really hope you manage to).

-Don't stress yourself. February 14th hurts, but being single this day doesn't mean you'll be single forever.

My best wishes,

Just a random anon.

Thank you anon 💖

Firstly, your English is fantastic, knowing another language other than your native one is beyond impressive! And I’m so so thankful you enjoy my writing 💜

Secondly, it’s good to know that I am not alone in my feelings. Aspecs truly were not made for the world we find ourselves in today. I’m sex neutral/favorable, it varies day to day, but it is something I want to experience. But with the right person at the right time. Dating apps all feel so artificial and insincere, like no one on there is looking for a meaningful relationship. It’s all disheartening. I promise to keep my chin up and heart open. The worst thing I could do is close it off to any possibility of affection and romance.

I wish nothing but good things for you, anon 💖

[that-hazbin]

Your angel AU now has me by the THROAT.

I’m assuming that Alastor goes to Hell basically immediately after Emily tells him that Lucifer Fell and hopes that Lucifer didn’t just forget about him (even if everyone else had).

That reunion will be messy, and I think that in a way Lucifer didn’t forget about Alastor—I am now convinced that the apple on Lucifer’s hat is the one he meant to give Alastor and no one can convince me otherwise—but thoughts of him kind of fell to the wayside as other things took priority. I imagine Lucifer will be a mix of happiness to see Alastor, and horrified guilt because he was left in that garden for 10,000 years alone and it’s his fault. You said this whole idea was based on Spinel, so I’d think Alastor is a mix of terrible sadness and frothing fury, oscillating between the two in turns.

You have set up a situation that will have severe emotional repercussions that are delicious to contemplate; thank you for sharing your ideas and writing with us, and I respectfully request more.

I shortened a lot of this AU because I wanted people to make their own thoughts on it, but I've got a lot of personal thoughts for it that makes it fun. One of them is that in this AU, Alastor doesn't have wings. He was made for Lucifer as basically his doll, and so he wasn't allowed flight. If he needed to go anywhere, he needed Lucifer to fly him around. So leaving Heaven to get to Hell would, in fact, be really difficult. He can't just fly down the way Adam and his exorcists can.

Granted, since Lucifer fell, maybe Alastor thinks "alright I'll do that too" and just bodily throws himself over the edge. That would be a NASTY reunion for Lucifer. Sees some meteor falling from Heaven, flies up to stop it, only to realize "Hey wait is that a person— IS THAT ALASTOR?!"

Meanwhile Emily, who witnessed this poor WINGLESS guy JUMP FOR HELL, is frantically trying to call up Charlie and give her like. A warning. Perhaps an explanation.

Lucifer and Alastor would have the most messed up reunion in this case. Alastor is still operating on the idea that his whole existence is to please Lucifer in some way, specifically to make him happy, to entertain him. In Lucifer's mind, this means that Alastor literally condemned himself to the most painful action in existence because of HIM. He never managed to give Alastor the fruit of knowledge like he planned, and it resulted in this.

Unbeknownst to Lucifer, Alastor isn't completely bereft of free will. Otherwise, he wouldn't be... feeling the emotions that he's feeling. He's hurt, saddened, and filled with so much anger. And Alastor is not going to direct that anger at Lucifer, of course not, it's not his fault that Alastor waited for ten-thousand years for no reason. (Except, it kind of is, but NO IT ISN'T.)

Things will hit a boiling point, though, when Lucifer suggests getting Alastor back into Heaven. Because obviously Alastor doesn't deserve to be in Hell, it sucks here, and Alastor deserves better— except that's not what Alastor hears. What Alastor hears is that despite waiting several millennia for this moment, Lucifer doesn't actually want him around and is planning on getting rid of him. Wiping his hands of him. Why not, right? Every other angel in Heaven has forgotten about his very existence, and here's Lucifer, the one he was made for, trying to do the same!

Alastor would just. Explode. He's confused and so, so furious. What exactly did he do wrong this time? Why isn't his friend happy to see him, why doesn't he want Alastor to stay? Is he seriously going to abandon Alastor AGAIN?! TEN THOUSAND YEARS! He can't do it again, he can't.

It would take a while before Alastor calms down.

[ndrv3expert1]

Why Tenko Chabashira is a Great Character pt. 1: Tenko’s Backstory and PersonalityA

Another essay excerpt because that did better than I expected last time and I'm suprised people actually want to read my stuff.

Tenko Chabashira is an over-hated character in the fandom with people before the game even came out criticizing her and hoping that she died.

Now this is not everyone’s opinion.

I've seen many people praise Tenko, but it’s a widely accepted opinion that she sucks, ranking near the bottom on a lot of people’s tier lists and having people post on every social media platform how much they hate her.

I love Tenko.

She is my favorite character in NDRV3 and right now my favorite character of all time.

With the game already in its eight anniversary I thought, what a better time than ever to fulfill my civic duty as a Tenko fan and explain why she is a great character and doesn’t deserve nearly all the hate she’s gotten.

Backstory

One of the main reasons people hate Tenko is her hatred of men.

I would like to lessen this to dislike because Tenko shows multiple times in the game that she does not hate men and there are also reasons behind her sentiments.

Tenko took her master's teachings very seriously; he was like a father figure to her (which makes sense especially since her parents abandoned her), and she was adamant about mastering neo-aikido.

Tenko is also really gullible.

It's why she believes Himiko can do real magic, so she would believe her master wholeheartedly when he tells her that interactions with men would weaken her.

It's similar to a child being told by their parents that if they are good Santa will give them gifts.

Another factor contributing to Tenko’s dislike of men would be her crime fighting which not only adds to her childlike nature but gives more of a reason to her so-called “man-hating.”

In one of Tenko’s ftes with Shuichi, she says:

“As practitioners of Neo-Aikido, Master and I… are also heroes of justice! Master and I wear masks to disguise ourselves! We serve to save, whether it is day or night! We do everything! Help an old woman carry her belongings… Help a child cross the street…Oh, yeah! I caught a thief the other day! We also punish degenerates who cheat and bring divine justice to gropers on trains. And even help girls who just had tough break-ups!”

Even though those don’t seem like the best reasons to “hate” a whole gender overshadowed by being hurt by men emotionally or physically.

If you think about it, it’s not the worst reason either, Tenko was just a kid and her master filled her head with misconceptions and stereotypes about men.

(In the end, he was just trying to protect but there are many more ways to go about it.)

Of course, Tenko didn’t have to believe it, but by being exposed to bad men on the streets when she and her master were fighting crime, and not having many interactions with good men, you can start to see where she comes from.

She’s just like a kid who never grew out of the boys' cooties phase (with a little more trauma), and as a kid, she wasn’t taught that all men aren’t bad, she wasn’t shown that all men aren’t bad, and she wasn’t exposed to the idea either.

I don’t think we should blame Tenko for something really out of her control.

Children are very impressionable that's why they're easy targets (well them and elderly people).

Their frontal lobes aren't fully developed so they don't think critically plus when your a kid small and vulnerable you tend to look to your parents for safety and guidance.

Imagine yourself in Tenko’s shoes. The man who is basically a father figure to her tells her all these misconceptions about men—and that they will stop her from fully mastering Neo-Aikido, something she has dedicated years to. With her low self-esteem, she likely already believes she isn’t good enough.

(While most of her self-esteem issues seem to be tied to her physical abilities, strength could play a role in that too. )

Wouldn’t that make you dislike them?

Then when he takes her out and she sees the men doing exactly what her master told her that they would do it would not only prove that her masters teachings are true it would solidify that hatred.

Now at the beginning of this section I said that Tenko doesn’t hate men but now I’m saying she does?

I believe Tenko had bad teachings and exposure that made her man hatred reasonable.

I don't think Tenko hates the whole male species as she says she does but if you're a man who hurts women Tenko is going to hate you with a burning passion an important distinction I need to make.

Tenko’s backstory isn’t perfect I’ll admit that but based on how she interacts with men during the game and how she acts overall bad exposure and teachings are a fine reason.

Personality

She’s rather boisterous and is like a ball of energy and can be overbearing to other students especially Himiko since how she acts with other students (not just the boys) is not “normal” per se (but no one in this game is normal) many people chalk it up to her just being annoying.

Still, I would like to add something else that may be a factor in her upbringing which I know I have already discussed.

Still, Tenko grew up in a temple with priests she was sent there when she was very young (there isn’t a specific age but many suspect five to six) so we can assume that she didn’t have a lot of interaction with kids her age (especially boys) with the only time interacting with people probably being people going in the temples for religious purposes or the people she saved while fighting crime.

A person’s upbringing especially if it’s bad or not normal can influence how someone acts just take Maki Harukawa, for example, she grew up in an orphanage and was trained to be an assassin during the game when Shuichi and Kaito are fighting she makes Shuichi watch her teaching Kaito to assemble and disassemble a crossbow so that they can make up, and when Kaito is kidnapped she reverts to the only thing she knows and tries to kill Kokichi.

Or Gonta Gokuhara who was raised in the forest by wolves doing odd things like not wearing shoes, lacking general cultural knowledge, getting suddenly controlled by strong emotions and having trouble with language.

So it makes sense for Tenko to act strangely and lack strong social skills, given her isolation from kids her age when she was young.

Unlike someone who has been interacting with others their entire life, starting from kindergarten, her experiences have been limited.

Or you can just say it’s her lack of understanding social cues and she’s neurodivergent coded.

...

Tenko, while claiming she hates men, gets along fine with them and shows them support. Some of these scenes include:

Joining Kaito’s strategy meeting

Telling Shuichi not to be too hard on himself after Kaede’s death

Yelling at Kokichi when he makes fun of Shuichi without his hat

Promising to avenge Rantaro and Ryoma’s deaths

Complementing Gonta for being calm and reasonable after Kirumi accuses him

Feeling bad after flipping Shuichi over her shoulder and carrying him back to her room

Allowing Shuichi to participate in Aikido with her

Telling Shuichi he needs to gain more confidence in himself.

She is also lovely and caring, volunteering to protect all of the girls, placing herself at risk alongside Kaito and Gonta to save Kaede from her execution, and her friendship with Himiko, in which she tries to help her overcome her emotional suppression, demonstrates her compassion for others.

She is one of the most vocal characters when it comes to opposing the killing game they were imprisoned in, and she is always willing to offer assistance or emotional support.

Tenko has a wonderful personality. Her deep emotional core, supportive persona, and childlike thinking are qualities that I and many others can identify with.

These qualities, in my opinion, dampen the hatred of her "male-hating" mentality in some aspects and make her a charming character.

Tenko's development

While having many ‘annoying/ undesirable’ traits Tenko eventually does have character development.

The main one is her dislike of men. I've already discussed that this dislike doesn’t seem genuine because, since the beginning of the game, she’s been having friendly, kindhearted interactions with men but taking that out of account Tenko does develop from the beginning of the game to her death.

Tenko’s journey reveals layers of her personality, showcasing how bad experiences shape beliefs and attitudes.

And how a good experience can turn it all around for the better even if her transformation is not entirely linear and overshadowed by other major characters (Shuichi Maki and Himiko.)

In her Free Time Events (FTEs) with Shuichi, she is very mean to him.

Nicest thing she says is that he can improve himself through Neo Aikido and become a good man like her master.

However, the interactions in her FTEs specifically with Shuichi amplify her disdain for men making it seem worse than it is in the game.

Despite all this she still she moments of genuine growth realizing that not all men are as bad as the ones her master told her about and the one she saw while crime-fighting through her experiences with Shuichi and the other men in the game she slowly but surely alters her perspective, and the journey leads her to form a friendship--though some would say acquaintanceship--with Shuichi (a man 😱.)

It’s a shift for her from her initial male-hating persona as she learns to accept that not every man is as bad as she was taught to believe by her master.

I could go on but this is getting long so in Part 2 I'll delve deeper into Tenko’s character arc and development in chapter 3.

[utilitycaster]

Sorry for the incoming wall of text, but this is something I've been thinking about a lot in light of c3.

After seeing the post you reblogged about Trent, I was wondering: what are your thoughts on how CR in general seems to portray the intellectual pursuit of arcane magic (ie wizardry) as inevitably leading to corruption and potential world-ending consequences? The Age of Arcanum (in particular Aeor and Vespin Chloras, especially in light of how they were both understood/portrayed by Brennan) is the most blatant example, but in modern Exandria we've got Ludinus, Delilah, and everyone associated with the Cerberus Assembly generally being up to nasty shit, Vasselheim banning arcane magic only being portrayed as more of a justified overreaction rather than an injustice (given that it effectively bans sorcerers from the city), Essek being willing to re-ignite a war for the sake of knowledge, Vecna in general, and everything about the way the League of Miracles are written in Tal'Dorei Reborn.

Even wizards like Caleb and members of the Arcana Pansophical are portrayed as "one of the good ones" at best--Caleb I imagine at least partially because he's a PC and Liam was approaching from a slightly different angle than Matt, and the Arcana Pansophical are still portrayed as well-intentioned but elitist at best. You'd be hard-pressed to find a truly "good" high-level wizard in CR, while corrupt and elitist ones abound. The whole thing feels vaguely anti-intellectual to me (I don't think that was Matt's intention, but it is telling that the closest thing Exandria has to a "good" knowledge-based organization is a religious organization that doesn't seem to trust wizards in general).

I feel like you are reading things into the portrayal that I personally do not, and I also feel that the whole Wizards Vibe is directly discussed in Campaign 2, with this line from Yussa: "At a certain level of arcane practitioning, morality becomes a bit ambiguous..."

The thing about wizards is The Hubris Is Part Of It. Like if a wizard isn't kind of an arrogant prick, even if they're also a genuinely good person, they're not very fun, and also why wouldn't you be arrogant if you're a wizard? Other people have to get magic from pacts and deals and worship or sheer luck, and you worked for it and built it piece by piece yourself! I think some of it is that wizardry attracts a certain type of ruthlessly ambitious person. I also think that it's notable to consider wizardry vs. general scholarship; a lot of the scholars, notably the Cobalt Soul and Grim Verity, are portrayed very positively, and even smaller institutions that perform both arcane and general research like the Vellum Steeple and Starpoint Conservatory and Aydinlan Seminary and Marble Tomes Conservatory, are like, closed off and snobby at worst, which isn't even imo anti-intellectual so much as a valid critique of access to higher education.

I would also note that pretty much all Evil World-Destroying Wizards who had that intent come from two sources:

The Age of Arcanum's flying cities are generally portrayed as places that fed into wizard egos and led them to believe the world was theirs to conquer, but even then, the Raven Queen pre-ascension, Patia, Laerryn, Cassida, and even Vespin all in the end come off as deeply sympathetic people who, when the chips were down, tried to do what they believed was right but did not always have good judgement. None of them were evil nor malicious. There were plenty of selfish and horrible wizards (Vecna, the various wizards of Avalir and Aeor who prioritized their safety and power over those of the people of their cities), but we've seen a lot of really shitty fighters or warlocks out there too.

The Cerberus Assembly, a body cultivated specifically by Ludinus Da'leth from its inception, which means someone like Delilah, Trent, or Vess can thrive; I think the issue with Delilah was frankly the optics more than Ludinus having a problem with her (and even Vess had a bit of a too-late redemption, realizing that unleashing the Somnovem would do untold damage, and tried to stop it unsuccessfully; and I'm not sure Trent had any plans for the world, simply for hurting people). And even then, much of the assembly either fits the Yussa "morality is ambiguous"/hubristic and dickish but not evil, or is straight up neutral or good. Like, Oremid Hass is probably not a great guy but as far as I know he was just kind of a hardass with his students and a huge cat person.

Like, it feels you are really selling short the generally benevolent Arcana Pansophical wizards (Allura, Eskil, Drake); the many wizards of the Kryn Dynasty (of which we only specifically know Tuss Waccoh and Essek Thelyss); Yussa, who makes weird choices but does not harm people, and of course Caleb (and Lyra, while we're at it) to try to make an argument that doesn't make sense.

As for Vasselheim, I've always found that in-world the arcane magic rule was kind of...inconsistently applied. Like, it never really came up in Campaign 3, and they had no real issue with Allura, and Lyra and Zahra presumably are fine (and I'm not sure why, to be honest, you're mentioning sorcerers to me, the Sorcerers are the Rogues of the Casters Person, particularly since we straight up don't see sorcerers discriminated against in Vasselheim - Gilmore was totally fine and indeed appreciated in his assistance). It always felt like something that kind of got semi-abandoned in the lore and only came up to point out that Scanlan was being kind of a dick (which often he was)(affectionate).

So I guess what I'm saying is I feel you have standards for "good" that I think might be exceedingly high, or at least higher than I'd set them, as well as are conflating arcane prowess with the only form of intellectual pursuit. You are entitled to this reading, but it's really not one I remotely share.

[promptedwordsmith]

Omg omg just thought of an idea

So we know the mc has a lot of love interests

What if we had one where she had a bestfiend that she grew up with , fem! reader.

And this best friend has been with her since the thick and thin so when MC gets diagnosed with that protocore syndrome it devastated reader cuz the mc can’t do a lot of the stuff she used to do with her cuz of her heart.

Reader is in love with MC but can’t tell her cuz she knows that MC likes boys so she stays quiet.

What if she sees all the chaos that goes on in MC’s life after meeting the love interest , like being a hunter and also rafayals bodyguard as well as helping sylus and such. She’s always just there, she makes snips at time at the boys when they’re being to pushy or just in jealousy at time.

she sees the strain that it puts on MC and decides enough is enough , and has an argument with the MC when she tries to stop her from doing going off with one of the love interests on another one do their ‘dates/mission’.

This argument is pretty bad As reader talks about the boys and how they’re causing stress on her , but MC is just denying it and insults the reader about how she’s always rude around them - this leads them to not speaking.

They both ignore each other for a while but MC’s heart gets bad , reader hears this and makes a very drastic decisions

One day, Zane approaches MC with the fact that there is a heart available for MC, it matches her perfectly (somehow) , after getting the heart surgery to replace her old one, she missed Reader and wanted to speak to her, she asks whose it was , then Zane goes quiet cuz he knew.

He gave the clipboard of the persons information to the MC only for the MC to cry when she seen that it was her best friend that gave up her own heart for the MCs life, it was the readers silent way of confessing.

- 🧸

I hope this isn’t too complicated of an ask x

This was very interesting, I've never seen an ask for the MC x reader I switched some stuff up, hopefully thats OK and I named MC Noelle to keep my sanity!

You’ve known Noelle for as long as you can remember. Through childhood scraped knees and late-night talks about the stars, through laughter that made your ribs ache and silent moments when she felt like the only person in the world who truly saw you.

You should have been prepared for the day she got her Evol.

You weren’t.

At first, it was exhilarating—watching her light up when she realized what she could do, how she could be more. But then the reality of it settled in. The sleepless nights, the fights she threw herself into, the risks she took without a second thought. And worse than all of that, the diagnosis that changed everything.

Protocore Syndrome.

She was still Noelle. Still your best friend. Still the girl you—No. You don’t think about that.

But she wasn’t the same.

She couldn’t run beside you like she used to, couldn’t spend hours at the arcade trying to win the biggest prize, couldn’t do anything without the constant weight of her heart condition looming over both of you.

You tried to be strong for her. You tried to be the one constant in her life when everything else was shifting, when her body was betraying her. But watching her push herself, watching her smile through it, pretending it wasn’t tearing her apart—it was tearing you apart too.

And then came them.

One by one, they arrived. The love interests that seemed to pull her deeper into a world of chaos, each one demanding pieces of her in ways that made your stomach twist. Xavier, Rafayel, Zayne, Sylus, Caleb—every single one of them had their own gravity, pulling her in, stretching her thin. You watched as she threw herself into being a Hunter, into being Rafayel’s bodyguard, into chasing after Sylus’s reckless ideas.

You were always there. Always watching.

And when the teasing between them went too far, when they crowded her space, when they pushed and pulled at her like she was some prize to be won, your patience cracked. The words slipped from your mouth before you could stop them—snide comments, pointed jabs. Jealousy burned in your chest, a bitter, ugly thing you had no right to feel.

Because you knew.

You knew Noelle liked boys.

She would never look at you the way she looked at them.

So you stayed quiet. Even when it hurt. Even when she collapsed from exhaustion and still insisted she was fine. Even when the stress of it all made her Evol unstable.

Until one day, you couldn’t stay quiet anymore.

It was after yet another mission-date, another moment where one of them had whisked her away like she wasn’t already carrying too much. You tried to stop her. She refused to listen.

The argument was ugly.

You told her the truth—the boys were pushing her too hard, pulling her apart, making everything worse. But Noelle wouldn’t hear it. She denied it, said you were just being rude, that you had no right to interfere.

Her words cut deeper than you thought they could.

And so, for the first time in years, you walked away.

You ignored each other after that. Days turned into weeks. Every time you saw her from afar, something in your chest ached, but you told yourself it was better this way. She had them. She didn’t need you.

Then you heard the news.

Her heart had gotten worse.

You knew what you had to do.

It was the only thing you could do.

The moment you heard the news—that Noelle’s heart was failing faster than expected—it was like the world had already made the decision for you.

Noelle had always been reckless with her life. She gave too much, ran herself into the ground, ignored her own limits for the sake of others. You had spent years watching her push herself past breaking points. And now, she was at one.

So you did what she never would. You made the choice she never could.

No one could know.

You started preparing in silence. You ate better, exercised lightly—nothing that would draw suspicion, just enough to keep your heart in the best condition it could be. You went to doctors, had check-ups, made sure everything was perfect. Noelle needed a heart, and you were going to give her yours.

Because in your mind, it had always been hers.

Late at night, when doubt crept in, you let yourself imagine what it would be like if things were different. If you had met her in another life, one where you could tell her how you felt, where she looked at you the way she looked at them.

But this was the only way you could say it.

You put your affairs in order. Quietly, methodically. You wrote a will, signed the necessary papers, and left one last request: that your heart be given to Noelle.

And then, you wrote her a letter.

It was the hardest thing you had ever done.

When the time came, Zayne was the one who received everything. He found your will on his desk, an unassuming envelope with his name written neatly on the front. He didn’t understand at first. Then his eyes found the clause.

Heart donation to: Noelle.

The blood drained from his face. His hands shook as he flipped through the pages, hoping—praying—that he had misread. That this was some kind of mistake.

And then he found the letter.

A smaller envelope, this time with Noelle’s name on it, sealed with careful precision. His breath was unsteady as he read the note attached:

Give this to her when she’s well enough. Not before. I don’t want her to worry.

It was the last thing you ever wrote.

That same day, Noelle’s transplant took place.

The surgery was a success. She recovered quickly, her body accepting the heart as if it had been waiting for it all along. But as the weeks passed, an ache settled in her chest—not physical, but something deeper, something missing.

She wanted to see you. Needed to.

And so, when she was finally cleared to leave the hospital, she went looking for you.

That was when Zayne knew he couldn’t keep the truth from her any longer.

He met her in his office, his usual cool composure cracking at the edges. He didn’t say anything at first. Just placed the letter on the desk between them, his fingers lingering over the paper like he didn’t want to let it go.

“Noelle,” he said, his voice strained. “This is from her.”

The moment she saw your handwriting, something in her stomach twisted. Her hands trembled as she picked up the envelope, as she broke the seal and unfolded the paper inside.

And then she read.

—--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Noelle,

If you're reading this, it means everything went according to plan. Good. That means you're alive. That means you're okay.

I need you to know something.

This heart was always yours. From the start. From the moment we met, before I even knew what love was supposed to feel like, it belonged to you.

And if this is the only way I get to tell you, then so be it.

I hope you get to do all the things you used to love again. I hope you run as fast as you can, laugh until you can't breathe, play those stupid claw machines and win something ridiculous.

I hope you live.

And I hope, maybe in another life, I'll get to love you in a way you can see.

Take care of my heart, Noelle. It's always been yours.

—Yours always

—--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The paper slipped from her fingers. Her breath came in short, sharp gasps, the edges of her vision blurring.

No.

No, this couldn’t be real.

She stumbled back, shaking her head, as if she could deny it into not being true. But Zayne’s expression, the unbearable silence in the room—everything confirmed it.

You were gone.

And your last act had been giving her the one thing she never realized she needed most.

Her hands clutched at her chest, at the steady heartbeat beneath her ribs. Your heartbeat. Your love.

And for the first time since the surgery, she felt it—what had been missing.

You.

The realization shattered her.

She had spent so much time running towards a future she thought she wanted, surrounded by people who adored her. But the one who had been with her from the start, the one who had stayed through everything, had loved her quietly, completely—and she never saw it.

And now, it was too late.

Tears fell freely, soundless sobs shaking her shoulders as she gripped the letter like it could somehow bring you back.

But you were gone.

And she was here.

Living with your heart beating inside her.

Loving you too late.