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tsukimefuku · 8 months ago

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forgiveness is a collective resource ✦ satoru gojo

summary: as you're telling gojo about your most recent fallout, he ends up telling you in return the last question geto posed him before leaving.

tags: jujutsu kaisen, f!reader, platonic! gojo x reader, implied higuruma x reader, fluff, angst, our beloved white haired, blue-eyed sorcerer receives some well deserved comfort.

wc: 900

notes, etc: i wrote this to the sound of i'm only human. it felt like a good fit. i wanted to write this one for so long, but never knew where i'd put it on the story. i'm happy to have found its place.

✦ collection of stories: "jujutsu partners au" → masterlist for fics listed in chronological order of events

I'm no prophet or Messiah ✦ You should go looking somewhere higher ✦ I'm only human, after all ✦ I'm only human, I do what I can ✦ Don't put the blame on me

"So, that's what happened," you concluded, taking another bite from your sandwich.

"Yeesh," was all Gojo mustered up to say, not being the best at comforting people.

You and Gojo were having a snack in the woods that surrounded Jujutsu High's HQ, and you had just told him about Hiromi's departure to Morioka.

"Having people leaving is shit," you noted, "especially when you care deeply about them. Feels like being left alone to fend off for yourself."

At that, he fell weirdly silent, and you wondered if maybe this would be the best moment to inquire about Geto. After a while, you had learned everything about their fallout — the death of Riko, how Geto had a sharp descent into madness, how he murdered an entire village and had been awarded the death penalty for that.

"The last thing Hiromi told me before he left was that he loved me," which was a twisted, painful little kindness, you thought. "What was the last thing Geto told you when he left?"

You noticed Gojo's demeanor changing a little, and his body becoming stiff. You gave him a few moments before he'd resume his talking.

After a sigh, he ensued.

"'Are you Satoru Gojo because you're the strongest, or are you the strongest because you're Satoru Gojo?'" He took a bite from his sweets, and continued to speak with a half-mouthful of sugar. "That was his final question to me before he left."

"What a stupid question."

"Huh?"

"What? You don't know the answer to that?"

He was silent.

You sighed. "You really think that low of yourself? Ugh. The latter, obviously."

The sorcerer was thoroughly surprised and somewhat dumbfounded, so he simply stayed silent in order to hear your observations, something that could be considered the highest form of respect Gojo Satoru was able to display for someone.

You shook your head before proceeding.

"First of all, Geto didn't know what he was talking about, because he wasn't seeing you, only a distorted reflection of his own resentment towards you for supposedly leaving him alone to spiral down madness on his own. Stop blaming yourself. You did what you could, all of you did."

You involuntarily sighed, trying to push the heaviness away from your heart.

"We sorcerers really need to put our God complex aside and learn to forgive ourselves."

Then, you took a pause to sip on your soda, proceeding.

"I blamed myself for years, just to have it all blow up in my face a decade later. Hiromi left a good new life he had built for himself to chase ghosts from the past," and Nanami, arguably the best one of us all, made a terrible decision that rendered him miserable, you thought, "all because of this wicked little thing called guilt. Guilt weighs us down, tethers us to the past and prevents us from moving forward. So here it is: I forgive you. Have my forgiveness."

"Your forgiveness? For what?" Gojo asked, slightly confused.

"For whatever you want to use it for. Use it to forgive yourself, since you couldn't find it in you for your own benefit. Have absolution. Forgiveness is a collective resource, and we can all forgive each other for our shortcomings. We're all human, after all."

For the very first time ever, you saw Gojo's expression softening underneath his blindfold, and you wondered if the one looking back at you right now was the teenager that failed Riko Amanai and Suguru Geto so many years ago.

The real Satoru Gojo, underneath all the silly cockiness.

"And just to finish answering the question Geto posed, that's precisely why you're the strongest because you're Satoru Gojo, and not the other way around. It was from your failure that the strongest could emerge, and your fallibility stems from you and your humanity."

You now knew how those days went, especially Toji's plan of wearing Gojo down to strike, and the way Gojo told you mindlessly about the first time he let his infinity turned on for days on end.

"You tired yourself in Amanai's benefit, and it put you in a vulnerable position, something only Satoru Gojo, and not the abstract concept of 'the strongest', would ever do. That's why that question is fucking stupid and offensive. You're more than the six eyes and infinity, and more than the people you couldn't save. Let it go," you concluded, taking another sip from your soda.

You were both silent for a moment, and you briefly wondered if you hadn't stepped over a boundary.

"Please, get up" he solicited, an indecipherable voice and expression to his blindfold covered face, getting up from the ground himself.

"Oh, okay," you answered, slightly surprised at the unexpected request.

In a second, Gojo leaned down his huge frame and embraced you, remaining still like that for a minute as you hugged him back, having your chin hooked above his shoulder.

At this moment, even if he was a giant in comparison to you, he seemed and felt remarkably small.

"Thank you," he said, his voice but a whisper behind your head.

You smiled, tightening your grip around his back, happy you could finally reach him and keep him true company.

"No problem, pretty boy. You saved my ass so many times. Thought I'd try to return the favor, which you should know is not something easy to do, since you're the strongest," you said with a laugh, "not all kikufuku in the world would pay off that debt."

He huffed a brief chuckle, letting go of you, feeling he might not be so alone anymore.

#jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jjk fanfic #jjk gojo #satoru gojo #jujutsu gojo #satorugojo #jujutsu satoru #jjk satoru #gojo saturo #gojo x reader #gojo satoru #geto suguru #jujutsu kaisen gojo

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effloradox · 1 year ago

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I love Taylor swift and twilight! Ur blog is perfection 💜! Do you mind doing more jasper fan fics!

thank you so much, you're so sweet 🥺

Jasper doesn't like to talk about his past. Conversions about his history are reserved for late night whispers, when it's just the two of you in the safe haven of your room. It's not something you hold against him, you can't judge him for something he did over a hundred years ago in bad faith, but you know he feels resentment for the person he used to be. You know how much he struggles with controlling his thirst, and it’s still not the easiest thing for you to deal with.

The problem with introducing a human into a house full of vampires is that it had the potentially to go fatally wrong. Control is something that all your coven take very seriously, it's the only way you can continue to exist amongst humans after all. Everyone knows that it's you and Jasper that have the hardest time controlling yourselves around blood, it’s not exactly a secret. It never fails to astound you the sheer amount of control that Carlisle exhibits on a daily basis in his job. You're getting better with controlling your urges, and you haven't relapsed for a while but introducing a clumsy human into the house felt like a disaster waiting to happen.

In a way you blame Edward. Your emotions towards your adoptive brother are complicated even on a good day, but the idea of him bringing his human girlfriend into the house for her birthday felt like a terrible idea from the offset. Part of you had hoped Alice would have some dramatic vision that would mean you could call the whole thing off but all she'd seen was an admittedly nice vision of Bella blowing out the candles on her birthday cake surrounded by all of you.

It seemed Edward had forgotten how unbelievably accident prone his new girlfriend was though. An unforgivable oversight on his part, one you'll definitely be calling him out on later. You'd turned your back on the birthday girl for a second, just to look over to where Alice and Esme were putting the finishing touches on the cake when you'd smelt it. The acrid coppery smell of blood hit your nose instantly and every fibre of your being is drawn towards it like a forbidden siren call. Your sisters had moved to your side in an instant, only partially caging you against the kitchen counter you'd been leaning on. It's hard trying to centre yourself and not give into the urges, and it's only what's taking place on the other side of the kitchen that really brings you back to yourself.

Jasper is looking much worse for wear. His senses have honed in on Bella and all of you can tell he's only seconds away from pouncing. Emmett and Edward have their arms around him in an instant, stopping him from beelining towards the injured human but it's clear he's putting up enough of a fight that they'll struggle to restrain him for a long time. You're in front of him in the time it takes Bella to blink, your hands cupping his face gently to keep his eyes on you. Edward had pushed her towards the wall as soon as he'd heard Jasper's thoughts so she's not as close as she was, meaning she only hears fragments of what you're saying to him.

"Hey, hey, Jas it's okay. It's okay. It's just a little blood. Look at me, it's okay yeah?" Your words seem to be having some effect but Bella notes that Emmett and Edward still haven't let Jasper out of their grip. Carlisle appears by her side and she's vaguely aware that he's speaking to her but her eyes are still trained on you and Jasper. Your words seem to be having some kind of effect on him and it sends a small pang through her chest that you have the ability to calm Jasper down even in the face of the strongest temptation when Edward sometime can’t even look at her as a result of his urges.

Her eyes are still trained on the two of you as Esme leads her out of the room to go and find the first aid kit. The last thing she sees is Edward and Emmett letting Jasper go as he collapses in your arms almost bonelessly. His arms wrap around your waist as his head rests on your shoulder, giving you ample chance to press a chaste kiss to the crown of his head.

#my writing #drabbles #jasper cullen x reader #jasper hale x reader #requested #twilight x reader

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luxcuriousao3 · 10 days ago

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Mutter (Chapter One)

Summary: When he looked at Lelia, truly looked at her without letting his fears and resentment get in the way, all he saw was a sad, scared girl too sweet for her own good. She was so easy to take advantage of, just like his mother had been. König wanted to protect her, and not just because of his instincts. But because in a way, it felt like he would be protecting his mother. Word Count: 5249 Warnings: vague/brief smut, mentions of past domestic/sexual abuse, König has mommy issues and also self-esteem issues and also intimacy issues (he can still get it tho), *** means POV switch, and -*- means timeskip but no POV switch. Notes: A new Leliaverse fic, since some of you showed interest and this has just been rotting in my drafts lol. This one is ABO and KönigxLelia. Dove still takes priority, this is just a side project atm. So updates won't be as regular for this fic. But the chapters are longer lol. I have no beta for this fic so all SPAG and consistency errors are my own, feel free to point them out. Comments and reblogs are highly appreciated! AO3, Masterlist

“I do not want her.”

The tiny omega standing across from König flinched, but otherwise didn’t react to his matter of fact statement. He felt a bit bad for phrasing it in such a harsh way—there wasn’t anything wrong with her, after all. She was beautiful—a petite girl, nearly two whole feet shorter than him with long, loose auburn curls, round, cherubic cheeks, a small nose, and thick lashes. He didn’t know what color her eyes were—she hadn’t bothered to look up at all since walking into the room, and her scent was clouded by fear. It was so potent he was surprised the officer he was speaking to couldn’t smell it, even if she was a beta.

No. It was less that he didn’t want the pretty little omega, and more that he could tell how very much she didn’t want him.

He endured rejection often enough from the beta women he slept with—they never wanted him for more than his huge cock and his even bigger knot, and he’d learned to accept that after a while—and had no desire to constantly be around a woman who was terrified of him. A walking reminder of how unloved he was, and how unloved he always would be.

“Sorry, Colonel, it’s KORTAC’s newest policy,” the beta officer replied. “All unmated Alphas, when on active duty, are to be assigned support omegas to keep them stable and help them through their ruts. Starting with the upper ranks.”

The woman shrugged, then nodded at the omega, who was still staring at the ground.

“She’s yours, now.”

König growled. The beta officer paled a bit, and the omega’s shoulders hunched, like she was trying to make herself smaller.

“I. Do. Not. Want. Her,” he repeated forcefully. “Take her back. Or find me a new one,” he added the last part reluctantly. He didn’t want an omega—any omega. He knew they would all be afraid of him, that none would care about him. But perhaps, if he had to have one, they could give him one that didn’t look like she was two seconds away from bursting into tears just because she was in the same room as him. As pathetic as it was, it stung. He knew he was a monster, completely and utterly undesirable except for his Alpha status. But her terror made him feel like the scum of the earth.

“Each omega volunteer was scent matched to an Alpha to find the best possible fit for all parties involved,” the officer said after a long moment, swallowing nervously. But there was a hardness in her gaze as well. A glimmer of anger. “I’m afraid you can’t simply swap her for a prettier version like she’s some sort of toy. Sir.”

König flushed beneath his sniper hood, feeling like a scolded child. An embarrassed, ashamed child. He cut a glance to the omega again, wincing when he saw her skinny arms wrapped around her middle in a sad parody of a hug.

“That is not—” he started, before cutting himself off with a sigh of frustration. There was no use protesting. This was happening, whether he liked it or not. He would simply do his best to avoid his new roommate. It’s not like they could force him to mate with her. “Fine. Fine. I will take her.”

“Wonderful,” the officer said flatly. “Your omega’s belongings have already been delivered to your quarters, along with additional pillows and blankets to use as nesting materials. Necessities will be provided for her, paid for by the new program.”

König rolled his eyes. Paying for her living expenses was just an excuse to keep him from rejecting their stupid new policy, not a kindness like the beta was making it out to be.

“Come along then, Fräulein,” he said, trying to gentle his tone a bit so as not to terrify her any further. But he couldn’t hide his displeasure with the situation, and it was clear in his voice. She jumped, but then scrambled to follow him, having to run to keep up with his long strides as he walked out of the meeting room. He forced himself to slow down. “Tell me. What is your name?”

“Lelia, Alpha,” the omega replied in a whisper, eyes darting up to meet his for just a second before she looked back at the floor. They were big and round like a newborn doe’s, and the prettiest shade of light, honeyed brown. König hated that he felt his heart flutter in his chest at the sight of them.

“You will call me Sir,” he told her firmly, grimacing under his mask at the use of his designation. He was not her Alpha. He would not have her claim him as such. Not when she couldn’t even stand to look at him with his mask on. No, he would rather her speak to him as if she was just another one of his soldiers. “Or Colonel.”

“Yes, Sir,” she replied obediently as they arrived at his quarters. He opened the door and gestured to her to go in. She did so without protest. She had been well trained, it seemed. It made him sick to his stomach. He hated seeing omegas stripped of their personality, their autonomy, taught to be nothing but a slave to their Alpha’s whims. It reminded him far too much of his mother.

She reminded him of his mother. Small stature, red hair, meek attitude… even a similar name. Lelia. Lia. He gritted his teeth and looked away. Her fearful scent was already stinking up his room, and his stomach turned. He couldn't deal with this, with her right now.

She had already moved over towards her bag, a small suitcase that couldn't possibly contain more than a few items of clothing. He supposed she would have to get used to wearing whatever plain clothes the program provided her with, rather than the smart, sophisticated dress she was currently wearing—one that looked like it cost half of what König made in a month. She was clearly used to luxury—he wondered why she would leave all that behind to volunteer to be a stranger’s fucktoy? Because that’s what this damn program sounded like to him, no matter what the beta officer had said. Giving a bunch of rough military Alphas fragile little omegas like her… it was madness. König wanted nothing to do with it.

“I will be back by dinner time,” he told her, not even having stepped inside. “You may put your things in the closet. The toilet is through the other door.”

With that, he was gone, the metal door slamming shut behind him.

***

Lelia's new, masked Alpha was terrifying. But he already seemed kinder than Andrew.

Her husband—ex-husband now, she supposed—would have shoved her onto the bed and taken her the second they were alone. It was what he had done on their wedding night. And then again, every night since, until over a year went by and he had nothing to show for it. No baby, no strong little Alpha son to take over his father's company when he was old and grey.

What he did have was several million pounds of debt.

A debt that was cleared by selling her and her useless, barren womb to the owner of a German strip club. Which was then raided by a private military company less than a month later for human trafficking.

Lelia, one of the victims they had recovered, was given two options: be returned to Andrew, or remain in KORTAC’s custody by joining the pilot wave of their new ‘Comfort Omega’ program.

It wasn't much of a choice, really. Anything was better than Andrew.

Her new Al—the Colonel's scent permeated the room. Gunpowder and cloves—the warm, spicy kind. Something else that was woody and slightly sweet. Oud, she thought.

There was a hint of smoke to his smell too, but with a grassy undertone that neither her father’s cigars or Andrew’s cigarettes held. One she didn’t recognize.

All in all, it was far more pleasant than Andrew or Rodolfo—the man she’d been sold to—ever smelt, and her omega wanted to properly scent him. Lelia wanted no such thing, and doubted the Colonel would even let her.

Even still, Lelia was wary. She hung her clothes up in the closet, taking up as little space as possible, but left her toiletries in her bag, which she tucked into the corner next to a pair of huge, muddy boots. She hesitated, but then pulled the leather monstrosities out, digging around for a buffing kit. Once she found it, she carried everything into the toilet, and spent the next half hour meticulously cleaning the Colonel’s boots. She knew he didn't want her—even found the fact strangely comforting, though her baser instincts made her want to whine and whimper at being rejected, again—but she would still be a good omega. She didn't need him to want her. She would prefer that he didn’t. But if he liked her, he would treat her decently… she hoped.

Once his boots were clean, Lelia put them and the kit back into the closet. She changed out of her day clothes—a cream, knee-length tweed dress with half sleeves and an oversized white bow at the collar—and into a set of pink silk pajamas. The bottoms were far too short for her liking, but at least the camisole was oversized and not see through. Rodolfo, the owner of the club she’d been traded to, had preferred to keep his girls in lingerie at all times. Lelia, being his favorite, had been allowed slightly more modest options, as well as a single proper dress for when he took her on ‘dates.’ KORTAC had allowed her to keep some of her clothes when she’d been taken into custody, and she’d chosen the least revealing pieces. She still wished she could have stayed in her dress, but the mud from the Colonel’s boots had stained it. She hoped he would let her get it laundered rather than just throwing it away…

She did her best to wash the stain out, but with only harsh soap and water, a dirty brown spot still lingered. Lelia sighed, blinking back tears, and simply hung it up in the closet. Then, needing comfort, she finally allowed herself to begin building her nest.

All of the materials she’d been given were painfully sterile smelling, and so, unable to resist her instincts, she swapped one of the Colonel’s pillowcases for her own—taking the time to make his bed after, so he would be less likely to notice. She felt better the moment the new pillowcase was added to her nest. Perhaps she would grow to despise his scent, but for now, it soothed her terrified omega.

She curled up in the pile of pillows and blankets she’d made under the Colonel’s desk. She knew that even if he didn't intend to take her tonight—which she still wasn’t sure about—she wouldn’t be sleeping, anyway. She couldn’t sleep if she wasn't alone. She hadn’t been able to since about a month into her marriage, when sleeping meant waking up in the middle of the night to Andrew on top of her, forcing himself inside her as he covered her mouth and nose with his hand. He'd learned his lesson after the first time, when her screams of pain and fear had woken the household staff.

Lelia shuddered at the memory, forcing herself to shut her eyes, pulling a blanket up under her chin and hugging a pillow close to her chest like it was her precious teddy bear. She often wondered what had happened to the stuffed animal, after she’d been married off. She hoped Ulyana, her childhood governess, had taken it. Perhaps the old woman had gone back to Russia to be with her own family, now that she didn't need to raise Lelia anymore. Perhaps Lelia’s teddy slept soundly in the arms of Ulyana’s granddaughter every night… Lelia liked to imagine that was the case. That her faithful stuffed friend, her only friend, was still loved and treasured, rather than falling apart somewhere in a landfill, all alone…

Lelia sniffled, scrubbing her eyes harshly. It was best not to linger on memories. She wasn't that innocent little girl anymore, that hopeless romantic who believed in true love and adored stories and films about it. That thought someday, she would marry the love of her life, and he’d give her two beautiful children, one boy and one girl, for Lelia to dote on and shower in all the love she’d never received from her own parents. That dreamed of going to Uni and becoming a famous poet, so she was praised for something other than her looks and obedience…

No. Lelia was not that girl anymore. She no longer lived with her head in the clouds. She was grounded firmly to earth, and all its horrible realities.

It wasn’t long before sleep found her. She’d grown used to taking the opportunity to rest whenever the chance presented itself, in preparation for her sleepless nights. She only hoped she was too exhausted to have a nightmare.

***

When König left his quarters, he immediately went in search of a beta he knew would be happy to be dragged away from their duties for a quick fuck.

He found one in a pretty blonde nurse named Isa, who he had taken plenty of times before in the storage room of the base’s hospital, where she worked. She was a nice girl, always greeting him with a smile on her face and a hunger in her clear blue eyes. She wasn’t the only one he hooked up with, but he wasn’t the only one she hooked up with, either. Just the best, according to her.

She was also quite talented, though he refused to rank the women he fucked. It was unbecoming of a superior officer. Besides, he was lucky enough that they let him drill his oversized cock into them, despite the fact that he always wore his mask when he did. He never knotted any of them either, no matter that some of them begged for it. That was far too intimate.

After twenty minutes, Isa stumbled out of the storage room with a slight limp, her hair mussed and a pink flush to her cheeks. He followed, straightening her shirt discreetly, not wanting to shame her. He always made sure that any woman he was with was satisfied—multiple times. He enjoyed it. Enjoyed hearing them moan and whimper from the pleasure, breathily telling him how good he made them feel…

And secretly, he always hoped that if he did well enough, they’d tell him that he was a good boy and that they were proud of him.

Of course, they never did. They probably assumed a big, strong Alpha like him would be offended. And he could never just ask for it, for the same reason. His partners tended to gossip about their trysts, and if anyone ever heard about how König would come in his trousers just from being called a good boy, his men would lose every ounce of respect they had for him.

So he kept his desires to himself, as always.

After Isa headed back to her station, König sighed and left for the mess hall, still keen to avoid his quarters—especially after his plan to fuck away any thoughts of his new problem only seemed to make it worse. He’d caught himself thinking of Lelia a few times while sunk halfway into Isa’s pussy. How different would it be to fuck an omega? Would she be able to take his entire cock, unlike the beta girls he was so often with? Would she beg for him to knot her? To fill her with his seed and make her belly grow round with his pups?

That was the thought that had brought him to orgasm, and he’d barely had time to pull out of Isa’s warm, wet pussy before his knot expanded, locking them together when he thrust too deep.

Thus the poor girl’s limp.

König killed as much time as he could get away with in the mess hall before finally admitting defeat and returning to his quarters. When he opened the door, the first thing he noticed was that the sour fear-stink had faded somewhat, allowing him to smell what must have been Lelia’s actual scent—something floral and sweet that reminded him of the garden he’d grown up tending at his grandparents’ cottage, as well as his favorite dessert—vanilla pudding. He instinctively closed his eyes and breathed in deeper, trying to place the flowery smells. Rose was immediately obvious, though there was almost a sugary hint to it. A rose flavored candy, maybe?

He recognized peonies after another moment, and he stiffened. Peonies had been her favorite flower—his mother’s. He left them at her grave on her birthday every year. The only time he ever visited.

The second thing he noticed, when he opened his eyes again, was that Lelia was gone.

“Omega!” He snapped, panicked. Where was she? Had she gone out into the base? That wasn’t safe, there were far too many ill mannered, unattached Alphas that could snatch her up and claim her, and there would be nothing she could do to fight back—

The fear-stink returned full force, and he heard a terrified gasp followed by a crash and then a pained whine. He looked down at his desk, where the sounds had come from, and saw a pillow sticking out. Crouching down, he was met by a pair of wide, scared brown eyes brimming with tears.

“S-sorry, sorry A-Alpha! I— I m-mean Sir, sorry Sir, I’m sorry—” the omega whimpered as she clutched the top of her head, sniffling as she tried to keep from crying. König’s instincts didn't even give him a chance to resist—he reached under the desk and grabbed her slight frame in his massive paws, carefully pulling her out. She went stiff as a board when he did, shifting her arms to cover her face as her shoulders hunched, like she was trying to curl up into a ball. König growled. He was used to being treated like a terrible, violent brute—and he was. He had a deep rage inside him, from years of merciless bullying and a mother who chose drugs over her son. That was why he had joined the military, to give that rage a safe target. He would never hurt an innocent woman. An innocent omega.

“I will not hit you,” he said angrily. Lelia flinched in his lap, not lowering her arms. He tried to gentle his tone. He was marginally successful. “You have already hurt yourself.”

He smoothed his big hand over the top of her head lightly, feeling for a bump. But she began to squirm wildly in his arms, trying to escape, her scent sharp with panic. He let her go, and she practically dove back under the desk and into the nest she’d made there.

“Fräulein,” he huffed, confused and exasperated. But then he caught sight of the fogginess in her eyes, and he paused. That was the look of a soldier who had been on the frontlines for too long. Who had seen too many horrors to ever truly recover. König saw that look in the mirror often. His expression softened beneath his mask in sympathy, and he sighed. “I will leave you be.”

He stood up, joints creaking in protest, and turned around. He was greeted by the sight of a neatly made bed, which he knew he was certainly not responsible for. He glanced at the desk again. It had to have been Lelia. No one else but her had access to his quarters.

“Thank you,” he said awkwardly, unsure if he would only make her more afraid by speaking, but unwilling to seem like a mannerless oaf. “For the bed.”

There was no response for a long moment, and König headed over to the closet to take off his boots. As he opened it, a tiny, nervous voice spoke up from under the desk, though when he looked back, she was still hiding under it.

“I cleaned the boots in the closet,” Lelia said. Then, “I can— I can clean the ones you’re wearing now too, Sir.”

König blinked, looking down at his spare pair of boots. They were spotless, practically looking brand new. His heart thudded hard in his chest. It was such a kind, motherly thing to do—making his bed and cleaning his boots. Small things to make his life easier, to show she cared…

She doesn’t care about you, a harsh voice in his head said. König flinched. She probably thinks she has to do these things for you.

“That is not necessary,” he replied, unlacing his boots and putting them next to his newly cleaned spares. He looked back up to grab his sleepwear when he noticed the feminine clothes taking up a sliver of space in his closet. Curious, he flicked through them. His cock twitched at the frills and sheer fabric, and he blushed beneath his mask as he spluttered. “What is this?”

He heard Lelia’s heart skip a beat, and he turned around to see her young, anxious face peeking out from under the desk.

“My clothes,” she answered after a second of hesitation. “They’re all I have… except for my white dress. But it— it got mud on it.”

From cleaning his boots, no doubt. He felt a bit guilty about that, but he was still too stuck on the fact that she was claiming the pretty lingerie hanging in his closet was clothing to think much about that.

“This clothing is not fit for a whore!” He exclaimed, flustered. Perhaps he was exaggerating—for lingerie, it was quite tame, actually. It was soft and pretty, exactly the type of thing he liked on a woman. And that was why he was so upset—because now he was imagining coming back to his room everyday only to see this beautiful, unclaimed omega looking so perfectly fuckable, when he had already promised himself he would do no such thing.

His cock was half hard from the fantasies alone, and it took him a long moment to shake them from his head. That was when he recognized the salty scent of tears. His eyes widened and he looked back at the desk to see Lelia had disappeared beneath it once more. He couldn't hear a single stuttered breath or gasping sob, but that she was crying, he had no doubt.

Immediately, he was swarmed with guilt, and he quickly approached her nest, crouching down once again. She was just a small lump under a blanket at this point, one that was trembling from the force of her silent cries.

“Oh, Lelia…” he whispered helplessly, fighting the urge to reach in and pull her out again, to place her in his lap where she would be safe. Where he could keep her safe. Damn his Alpha instincts. “I am sorry. I did not mean to insinuate that you— that you are—”

His oversized hands gestured uselessly. She wasn’t even looking at him. But he couldn't bring himself to repeat what he had said, knowing how it had hurt her.

“I was just… surprised. Your clothes are— very pretty, but I do not think they are clothes, Schatz. They are for sleep, and— other things.”

König was bright red beneath his hood. He hated that he had made her cry. And not even because she was needlessly afraid of him—but because of his stupid big mouth. This was why he tried not to speak very often. He always ended up saying the wrong thing.

“I know,” Lelia whispered, voice small and endlessly sad. “But they’re all I have.”

“I will get you new clothes,” he found himself saying. What was he doing? He didn't even want an omega. Not when he knew they wouldn’t want him back, not really. Especially not one as sweet and pretty as Lelia. Especially not after he’d just accidentally called her a whore… yes, exactly. That was why he was doing this. Not because he wanted her, but because he felt bad. She had done him a kindness despite his standoffishness, and he had been rude in return. He needed to make amends. “Tomorrow. I will request them from the program. Or— you can shop online, if you would prefer, ja? I think the clothes the program will provide will not be very… fashionable.”

Lelia seemed like the type to care about that, if the pretty dress she’d worn today was any indication. Though that begged the question—if the dress was now in his closet, did that mean she was wearing lingerie now? Surely not, he would have noticed earlier when he held her… though he had been quite focused on checking her head for injuries…

“Are you going to fuck me?”

König choked on his spit, staring wide-eyed at the lump under the blanket, wondering where the hell that had come from. Until he realized he was hard as steel and practically soaking the room in aroused pheromones, just from the idea that the sweet little omega in front of him was dressed in nothing but frills and bows…

König tried and failed to reign in his scent, and the resigned, despondent voice continued.

“If— if it’s not too much to ask, could you— could you shower, first, Sir? I promise I’ll be good, and I’ll make it worth the wait, I just— it hurts my omega… to be t-taken if I can— can still s-smell someone else on you…”

König’s arousal abruptly died, mortification and shame replacing it. He had known she would smell Isa on him when he came back—had walked around base with her scent on him just to show just how displeased he was with the ridiculous Program. To show that he didn’t need or want an omega. And he hadn’t cared about how it would affect Lelia. It was thoughtless. It was cruel.

“Nein,” he responded firmly, and the blanket lump deflated, growing impossibly smaller. He quickly continued. “I am not going to— to take you.”

The lump perked up, and after an agonizingly long moment, Lelia sat up, the blanket falling off her shoulders and pooling in her lap. König’s mouth went dry and he swallowed as he saw the oversized pink camisole she was wearing. It had sweet little ruffles along the straps, and obscured the shape of her body, puffing out in front—but that only made her look pregnant, stirring his earlier fantasies about breeding her. He quickly looked away.

“Because you don’t want an omega?” She asked hesitantly. “Or— or because I’m a whore?”

König cursed himself in German, tugging anxiously at his mask.

“I did not mean to say that,” he answered, looking back at her, neck bent at an awkward angle so he could see her. She still had tear tracks on her face. He swallowed thickly. “That was unkind. I did not mean it. I do not think you are a whore.”

Even though he found it beyond strange that any omega would volunteer for a program like this, he wasn’t lying. When he looked at Lelia, truly looked at her without letting his fears and resentment get in the way, all he saw was a sad, scared girl too sweet for her own good. She was so easy to take advantage of, just like his mother had been. König wanted to protect her, and not just because of his instincts. But because in a way, it felt like he would be protecting his mother.

But Lia Adler had been selfish, choosing drugs over her son at every turn. Lelia, on the other hand, seemed like she would be a wonderful mother. He could make her one, if she wanted.

He immediately shut those thoughts down. Lelia was not his mother. She was not his anything. Conflating the two of them was so very wrong. Craving maternal affection from her even as he thought about knotting her… It was disgusting. König was disgusting. He looked away again.

“I will not take you,” he repeated. “I can smell your fear. You do not want me to claim you. I will not have an omega that does not want me.”

I will never have an omega at all, he thought, pained. No one ever wants me.

“You aren’t going to force me?” She asked warily. König had already known she thought he would, but hearing it still hurt. He would never force himself on a woman. Ever. And he would certainly never claim an omega against their will. “Or just fuck me without claiming me?”

“No,” he said sharply. “You do not want me to touch you. So I will not touch you. In any way.”

The sour smell of her fear was gone, though the saltiness of her tears still lingered in the air, tainting the otherwise delicious scent of flowers and vanilla. If she were his omega, he would make sure she always had a fresh bouquet. But she wasn't. And he didn’t want her to be.

“I don't understand,” she finally whispered, tone fragile. König frowned underneath his mask. Was it really so hard to believe that he might not be a complete monster?

But you are a monster.

“What is so hard to understand?” He asked, his accent growing thicker to hide his hurt. “I believe I have been very clear!”

Lelia cowered as he raised his voice, and König exhaled sharply through his nose as he tried to calm himself. She did not want him. Not even his cock like the betas he slept with. She was afraid of him. If he was going to survive this forced cohabitation, he had to stop scaring her.

“I am sorry,” he said through gritted teeth. Then, a little steadier, “We will sleep now. It is late, and I am tired.”

König stood up once again, returning to the closet to grab his sleep clothes. He hesitated before going into the small, cramped toilet to change. She would probably think he was going to rape her if he started undressing in front of her. He suddenly groaned as he realized he was going to have to sleep with his mask on. He couldn't risk her seeing his face… his quarters had truly been stripped of their safe haven status. There was nowhere left on base where he could relax.

When he was done, he found Lelia curled up in her nest once again. He disliked the thought of her sleeping on the floor. It wasn't right. The gentlemanly thing to do would be to offer the bed to her while he took the floor. His Alpha, on the other hand, wanted to insist she sleep in bed with him, where he could protect her.

König did neither.

He laid in his bed and slid under the blankets, turning to face away from the little omega tucked under his desk, hoping she would feel a little calmer if he wasn’t looking at her. He could feel her eyes on him, assessing, but after a few moments, it seemed to work, at least a little bit. Her heart rate slowed down, not near enough for her to be asleep, but at least no longer drilling a hole into his eardrums with her anxiety.

#k��nig fanfiction #könig cod #könig call of duty #könig #könig x oc #konig fanfiction #konig cod #konig call of duty #cod fic #cod fanfic #call of duty fic #call of duty fanfic #call of duty oc #call of duty #Leliaverse

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esosage · 4 months ago

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Just came up with a stobotnik au idea.

Somehow, while still in hideing, stone and robotnik accidently have kids, and now have to learn how to be responsible parents, while hiding and being on the run from the government. Trying to give their kids as much as a normal life as they can (well, normal by their standards which isnt very normal at all,) to varrying degrees of sucsess.

It would be fun to seeing how the kids grow up in a situation like this and discovering that this is infact, not normal. Because i dont think ivo, nor stone would tell them that their parents are wanted criminals.

Like, how would they make freinds? Would they be able to make freinds? And if so, how would robotnik and stone react to them makeing freinds? How would their schooling be handled? How would they feel about moveing all the time? Would they be confused why everyone their age lives in a house, while they live in a giant crab robot? Would they even be allowed to meet new people? And if not, would stone and robotnik eventually cave and let them socialize a bit? Would either of them grow to resent the two?

It also gets more fun when you concider stone and robotniks reaction in realizing: "oh fuck, we're dads now." How would they parent? Would it be good or bad? Would either one grow to resent their kids and pretend they dont exist, or would they try their best for them? How would they house two children in the crab? How would they feed them? How would they clothe them? In trying to steal stiff for them, would they almost get caught by the government? How many close calls have they had trying to care for them? Would they concidering abandoning them? Would they try to abandon them? Or would they accept their new position?

Honestly, it could go a lot of ways. Though if i were to write a fic about it, i'd probobly hone in on robotniks perspective a bit more than stones, since it be neat to see him react to this. I mean he's a terrible person yeah, and i dont think he'd do the best job in raising them, but he's also an orphan. Family has always been a soft spot from his lack of one, and now he's suddenly been thrust into a role he never expected nor wanted to be in.: being a father goes completly against the image he has of himself.

And thats not even mentioning his past trauma with being abandoned, and neglected. I think its quite possible, that in the heat of the moment, (while they're still babies,) he decides he just cant and tries to get rid of them. Chooseing to just hand them off to an orphanage and just be done with it... but, when he really thinks about it, mulls the plan over, he just... he just cant. He's been in an orphanage before, he's been left by his supposed to be caretakers before, and he just... cant bring himself to do it. Thinking about all the hurt he went through in the orphanage, by his supposed "guardians," he just cant subject them to that. Maybe the final nail in the coffin that gets him to turn around and walk home, is them wakeing up. Wakeing up to giggle at him, make grabby hands twards him, to be delighted by his presence. A reaction that nobody but stone has twards him.

Im thinking that stone eventually finds him while he's on his way back (because lets be honest, he would not think to tell stone he's giving them away, he's very bad at communication,) of course the agents freaked out by them suddenly going missing, but calms down a bit once he see's they're safe.

Robotnik would NOT tell stone about the moment he had. he hates talking about his feelings, and talking about what he just tried to do would deffinetly prompt that. So, instead, he makes up some excuse that seems to satisfy stone.

stone would find out later down the line, when the kids have grown up a lot more. Giving some juicy family angst when they seemed to have more firmly settled in their roles. (Also because i like the twist of: "hey! Remember this thing you never thought was going to come back? Well its back!" And to also give robotnik some consequences to his actions.)

Im also thinking that how the kids find out that their parents are criminals, (they never found out because the government covered everything up,) is that when their adults, one of the kids brings home a signifigent other who also happens to be a G.U.N agent! Which robotnik and stone promptly flips out over to varying degrees.

Btw, little side note that i probobly should have brought up earlier, is that the kids are twins. Just for funsies.

#stobotnik #eggman #jimbotnik #dr. robotnik #ivo robotnik #agent stone #sonic movie #sonic movie 3 #my au #DO NOT SUPPORT PARAMOUNT!#DO NOT WATCH THE THIRD MOVIE!

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1lostsoul0fishbowl · 8 months ago

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In lostys universe, Gare and El are long distance during some of their college years.

Do they ever have any big fights or miscommunication during that period?? Any conversations about what their future together will look like as the years peel away to adulthood? Just curious 🥰♥️

Still loving that greatmage lore 💜🩷

Ohh girl this made me think A LOT. because my first instinct was to be like “noooo my pookies never fight!” but that’s completely unrealistic. So I dug deep and came up with a few ideas… and of course it got really long so I’m putting it under a readmore…

- I think their biggest fights would be about money, but not in the typical way a young couple fights about money! In both Next Time I Fall and Lost and Found I alluded to El and Kali getting large settlements of “hush money” from Hawkins Lab, and at the end of Next Time El even suggests to Gareth that they use some of that money to get married. But it’s the late 80s and I’m sure Hopper had repeatedly impressed upon Gareth the importance of The Man Being The Breadwinner and the need to Properly Take Care Of His Daughter, so Gareth wouldn’t feel right about letting El pay for anything.

Finally El sits both Hopper and Gareth down one day and tells them look, Chrissy helped me find this super cute house and I can easily afford it so I’m gonna buy it. Gareth, you’re welcome to live there with me if you can get over your pride about it. And Dad, you need to mind your own beeswax. (Will taught her that phrase, and he almost chokes trying to hold back his laughter when he hears her repeat it.)

- Another thing I can imagine is the long-distance thing just wearing on both of them (they’re cuddly koalas and they can’t stand being apart for too long) but I could see that manifesting in different ways. For El, I think insecurity would be something she’d struggle with; especially if school interfered with time they wanted to spend together, she would feel neglected and get a little pouty about Gare thinking his work was more important than her. And I can imagine if he got impatient or exasperated about that, her mind would immediately leap to “you don’t love me anymore?” She needs a lot of reassurance after everything she’s been through.

But this, I think, would probably lead to Gareth never wanting to speak up about his own needs or problems, because he does truly want to be that steadfast source of reassurance for her, but also sometimes he feels a little resentful, as if she doesn’t trust him enough to keep loving her even when he’s irritated. And then that makes him wonder if she feels that way because of everything with Mike, and he gets pouty thinking she’s comparing him to Mike. Oh, kiddos.

- I imagined all of this coming to a head one weekend when Gareth wasn’t planning to come home because he was exhausted and had a ton of work to do, but El getting upset with him and kinda giving him a guilt trip about it until finally he gives in and says okay fine I’m coming. But he’s so tired that he ends up falling asleep behind the wheel and getting into a minor accident, which naturally freaks El out, and I think that would lead to a very deep heart-to-heart talk where they both end up resolving to communicate more honestly about their needs, and trust that their relationship can withstand temporary separation when needed.

- On a much happier note, conversations about the future!

I know a lot of people headcanon El as wanting tons of kids, but for some reason I imagine that pregnancy would be total body-horror for her. (Maybe I’m drawing that from my personal life? Lmao) I do believe she’d want a family of her own though, and I think she and Gare would have a lot of conversations about fostering and/or adoption to help troubled kids. And there’s a lovely fic that was gifted to me about the two of them preparing to welcome their first foster child.

I think they’d want pets, too— I imagine them going to an animal shelter just to look around, and El overhearing an employee saying “nobody will ever adopt this one, these dogs are monsters.” She instantly demands to see the monster dog, and of course it’s not a monster at all, it’s the cutest tiny little pit bull puppy, and El and Gare instantly fall in love with her and name her Bosco since she’s chocolate brown. 😊

I think El would have a lot of trouble deciding what she wanted to do after high school, as far as more schooling or a career or what, and they’d have a lot of discussions about that.

And of course they’d talk about traveling— there’s so many places they both want to see, and experiences they want to have for the first time together. Also I think it would be super cute if they went to Wales with Granny and Granddad Emerson to visit relatives and friends there. 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿

This got way longer than I thought it would lmao but thank you so much for asking! I always love sharing my ideas and headcanons with you! 💕

#ask losty #losty headcanons #greatmage #el hopper #gareth emerson #two schmoopies in love

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witchofhimring · 3 months ago

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Maris Baratheon Profile

This is both a character study and my personal headcanons for the character. This is part two of the "Daughters of Borros Baratheon" series. This template will be used in all my upcoming fics unless otherwise specified. I find it hard to write characters who do not have a cemented personality so I decided to make some up.

Space divider provided by:@firefly-graphics

Background and theories:

We do not have as much information regarding Marris as we do Cassandra. The first time we heard of Maris is when Aemond arrives at Storms End. Her introduction is quick but dramatic. She is said to be clever (although it is treated as shrewishness on the book). I suspect that Maris had been unfairly maligned in Fire and Blood. Her sharp tongue was obviously too terrifying for the maesters. Maris is clearly very bold and a touch confrontational. Unfortunately we know little else about a character who could be very interesting. What is interesting is that she alone shows jealousy. Did she feel the rejection more keenly than the rest? Maria’s introduction is made though her father, who tells Aemond if he wants a clever wife she should take Maris. From the way Maris is depicted you get the feeling she is not well liked by the writer. Given this is Fire and Blood, in which sexism is a large theme, I believe this to be another example of women being put down for not being conventional. Maris is essentially blamed for starting the dance. Of course Aemond could not have withstood the taunts of a pre-teen girl 🙄.

Now, if Fire and Blood Maris is younger than in my headcanons. This is partly so that I can enter them into stories and because they are older in the show. A detail that is often overlooked is how Maris is treated as if she were a grown up, despite not even having hit puberty yet. This is implied when Borros says his eldest will be the first to flower. Meaning Cassandra is anywhere from 10-13 is years old. Maris would in that case be even younger. Fire and Blood talks about Maris as if she were a woman grown, and yet it is not acknowledged that she was so young.

Maris ends up being sent to the Silent Sisters. We do not know why this happened. It is speculated that her mother forced this on Maris, however there is no way of truly knowing. Borros was aware of his daughters intelligence and publicly acknowledges it, so perhaps there is pride.

Relationships: (headcanons)

Borros

As a little girl Maris was close to her father. He enjoyed her tenacity and outspoken personality. This changed as Maris grew older and Borros felt that as an older girl she should conform. Bitter, Maris's wit turned to biting insults at the expense of others. Father and daughter drifted away over time so that when he died the two were hardly on speaking terms. Borros was proud of his daughters intelligence, but it is mixed with his belief that girls have a certain role to play.

Elenda

Mother and daughter never got along. Although Elenda's other daughters simply have no true relationship with her, the one between herself and Maris is bad. Maris was always resentful that her mother focused on having sons. The reason Elenda is hard on Maris is because the two are very similar and that bothers her. Eventually Elenda sends her daughter off to the Silent Sisters as punishment. Later on in life Elenda does try to contact her daughter, however the letters were never read.

Cassandra

They are not close but there is little bad blood. Maris was jealous when they were children as Cassandra was the favourite but that changed when Floris was born. Seeing Cassandra feeling rejected by their father she felt a sort of kinship. Despite this the two never became close and when Maris was sent to the Silent Sisters they never saw each other again.

Ellyn

Ellyn is Maris's punching bag. Because her mother is away, father is the lord, Cassandra is off doing her own thing and Floris is the favourite and protected by their father, Ellyn is the target. She often taunts her younger sister and puts her down when the opportunity arises. When Ellyn is betrothed to Prince Aemond Maris becomes very jealous, but by then there is nothing she can do.

Floris

She despises her younger sister the most. Floris is the favourite and is more in line with what a "lady" should be. Borros is protective of his youngest in ways he is not to the others so she is unable to torment Floris. Instead Maris puts distance between the two and hates her from a distance.

Personality: (headcanons)

-When she was little Maris was not unkind, but actually quite friendly. She had the whole world before her and did not mind her mothers neglect. As a second born daughter she had more freedom than Cassandra and used that to pursue her own interests. She would visit the castle maester and read through his books.

-Her cleverness is encouraged when she is little. Life is good and at first she does not hate Ellyn or any of her sisters. But as time goes by things change. Because she is older and not considered pretty, Maris is given a hard time and becomes bitter as the years go by.

-Soon the happy intelligent girl is replaced by a sour young woman who feels neglected and lashes out. Her wit is now not just shown in lessons and debates, but when she desires to put others down.

-Likes bookbinding

-Fondness for the taste of boar

-Like Cassandra she has the Baratheon temper.

#marris baratheon #house baratheon #asoiaf #a song of ice and fire #dance of the dragons #hotd #got #hotd headcanon #maris

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goldeneyedgirl · 4 months ago

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I feel the NEED to talk about how much Deaf Mary Alice means to me because this story doesn't get enough love??? I have so many questions and thoughts and headcanons (headcanon over the fic yes because I can't help myself) Like.......Jasper just created a language to communicate with her?? Try to tell me this isn't the epitome of romanticism. I would very much like to know how were the first days he spent with her in South, the ideia that he let her get so close to him makes me so 😭💝🥰😫 (also this is very funny in my mind. I supposed she didn't know how to read back then so the communication had to be a challenge, especially if the only thing Jasper was used to teach people was murder)

Anon, I am SO happy and excited that you love Deaf Mary-Alice; I have fun writing a version of Mary-Alice that isn't as depressed and miserable. This version of Mary-Alice definitely tries to outrun her trauma and unhappiness and focus on the good.

I've only got notes for their first meeting (Mary-Alice is very much the 'lost kitten' that kind of keeps going to find Jasper over and over again. And all the other soldiers are bewildered by her, because the Major is *terrifying* and they wouldn't even make eye contact with him if they had a choice) because I keep changing my mind. I can't decide if Jasper did try to discipline Mary-Alice like the other newborns, or if he's always a little bit gentle with her.

Anon, I will cheerfully answer any questions about this verse, and squeal over your headcanons. I am always over the moon when people enjoy my weird little Jalice takes.

I've got a little snippet of some of Alice's feelings below, I hope you enjoy it!

deaf mary-alice.

Sometimes, it’s hard. Especially with the Cullens. She’s never really been bothered by the silence, especially with Jasper. It’s never about living in a quiet world - she doesn't remember any different.

It’s always been about not being alone.

But when her words run out, when she doesn’t know how to say what she needs to, the quiet presses down on her. How does she explain everything she needs Jasper to know? That all of the years, all of the darkness and rage and violence that she lived through, are still there - she just chooses to let it go? That she really does understand that she’s the weak-link, the canary in the coal mine, the thing that never should have survived? Jasper left her behind because it was a miracle she had survived her newborn year, let alone the ones that followed - at least he knew that she was surviving in the South. He had no idea if she'd last a day up North.

(That for Maria’s rage and resentment of Jasper’s defection, Alice lived because of the lingering affection and appreciation Maria held for the Major. That if she’d been the companion of any of the other soldiers, she would have been destroyed out of spite. Or maybe cast out and left to die trying to go north. However it might have happened, she wouldn’t be here if Maria hadn’t been truly fond of Jasper in the end.)

Monterrey is a time capsule, and she feels adrift and unanchored, and she’s really not sure of what can fix her. Jasper's grasp upon her doesn’t feel like enough most of the time, like something terrible is going to pull her from his grasp and this possible life will be lost to her.

She’s terrified he’s going to be the one to let go. That for all that she loves him and that he cares for her, it’s not going to be enough. Jasper will heal and want someone he can speak to, who can talk back; a girl who can fucking say “I love you” out loud. Who doesn’t get frustrated and bewildered when their words run out, when she has to take an extra beat to lip-read and decipher which language is being spoken. A girl who doesn’t need a buffer against the world to survive.

That's Mary-Alice’s biggest fear. That in the real world, the Cullen world, she’s not going to be enough for Jasper. That proximity had turned him in her direction, and now she was just faulty stock. She sure as hell doesn’t fit in with the Cullens - she doesn’t know how to be so neat and clean and calm. She doesn’t have the faintest idea how to be more human than she is. She can't even speak their version of sign language right.

But those are her problems. The ones she doesn’t really like to think about unless Jasper’s at school because he always knows how she feels. It’s only when she’s alone that she lets it all out, that crushing terror that she’s never going to be quite good enough.

(Maria wasn’t surprised when she was found in the wreckage of one of her last battles, leg torn off at the hip. Alice had still killed her opponent. But she knows there was a second that Maria considered just leaving her on the field to perish when scouts found her. Maybe even just douse and burn her; Alice had seen Maria do that before. The terror and determination had sat entirely in her throat. Her visions told her this could go either way, and she got to live.)

And yet, she’s still… hopeful. She might be terrified that Jasper is going to be the one to let go, but she’s clinging tightly to him. The room next to his becomes hers, and Jasper is the one that helps her paint it. It takes a day, as she painstakingly hand-paints mock-wallpaper; Jasper daubs her nose with paint, and she retaliates with a swipe of paint across his face. He laughs and kisses her, tracing the words they have for love down her spine. Later, she finds a heart painted on the wall near the window sill with ‘M-A & J.W.’ written on it, and that warms her right down to her toes.

(When she insists on painting all her furniture by hand, Jasper is the one that takes each piece apart for her; he sits with her as she works, a book in one hand, and the other locked in idle conversation about everything and nothing. He admires her work when she’s done, and she feels bashful, not having the words to explain that she wouldn’t bother with any of this if it was just her. This was her trying to build a ‘them’, trying to turn her room into theirs. She can’t offer him much, especially when it comes to tangible things, but she can offer him this.)

Edward tries to speak with her sometimes. He struggles with reading her mind; she thinks in the signs she and Jasper made together, in Civil War-era Spanish read from lips. He struggles even more to speak with her - he speaks text-book perfect American Sign Language, and flawless Spanish, and she speaks neither. Alice is also not entirely literate in either language, so passing notes is out. It’s messy. But he tries, and she’s grateful for the effort, she just wishes Edward wouldn't weaponize her deafness when she’s upset him. She wishes he would translate so she could be friends with Bella, instead of keeping them apart to protect the human girl. She very much wishes he wouldn’t try and correct her so often.

And when he tries to talk about Jasper, about the toxic thoughts that trickle around in her mind, and his efforts come across stunted and insincere.

(It’s easier to believe Edward’s stilted reassurances that Jasper loves her when she realizes that Jasper walks into the house and beelines to her, insisting upon a kiss before anything else. She obliges, and his greetings are hurried and disjointed as he pulls her close. Sometimes those greetings end in shedding clothing, his hands grasping and stroking bare skin; counting scars, tracing the seams on her skin. Other times, he gathers her up and tells her about his day, asks about hers. He’s gotten back into his old habit of signing all his conversations, even if she’s not in the room; the same way he speaks as he talks to her, a rumbling vibration that is uniquely him.)

#my fic: deaf mary-alice #oh i'm sleepy so very few thoughts #i love the idea that jasper is always soft with her but he doesn't really know how to be kind and gentle so he's just really awkward

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caffinatedcastiel · 6 months ago

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explodes you

i read your fic (very interesting so far) and you said youd like to talk turtles ‼️ whats your interp of bad future donnie?

Is explodes

Hello there, my first turtle caller. I’m very happy to answer your question (with some information omitted to avoid spoilers for my Leader Future Donnie fic)

Im going to mostly focus on Donnie’s role as leader here- since that is probably where my interp of future Donnie differs from most fanon, but I can go into his interpersonal relationships and other details at another time too if that is of interest.

I like the concept of Donnie taking the lead at the start of the invasion due to Raph and Leo’s conflict that we see at the start of the Rise movie. Raph has learned from the end of the series that their way of life is not just dangerous, but is life-threatening. He’s seen this through Splinter’s memories and the death of Karai. So post-series and pre-movie, he wants to impart that onto Leo so he doesn’t have to learn it the hard way by losing people. Leo sees this as a lack of trust in his abilities and a criticism of his leadership, and gets defensive as a result. They both want to see their family succeed and thrive, but ultimately get in their own way while doing so. They are teenagers, they get insecure about their place. It unfortunately happens to play into a larger conflict they had no knowledge of.

This conflict and strife is what brings the team to fail circa the start of the first Krang invasion. Leo and Raph’s fears both come to light when they lose and resentment has the opportunity to boil over and poison the team’s dynamic. As such- neither are in the right mental or emotional headspace to lead effectively.

Enter Donnie. Donnie already has had a few lessons in leadership without actually taking on the position in the past. We can see this in a few circumstances.

In Donnie’s gifts and Mind Meld, Donnie is doing what he thinks will be best for the team. He gives his brothers technological aid (just as he has given himself with his battle shell) and enhances their mental performance (in a way that is exactly like him, focusing on intellect rather than other points of knowledge). And it doesn’t work because his brothers are not Donnie. He is the brother that probably understands best that trying to get people to do things the way he would, rather than they would, is not the way to lead.

These circumstances also help to expose Donnie to failure. Of the turtles, Donnie has had the ability to fail and recover quite often (Lair Games anyone?). To fail is to be a scientist. It doesn’t paralyze his decision making process as badly as it might with his brothers. He just pivots to find the next thing that could work. (and some things he’s just bad at, but he does anyway!)

Additionally, I headcanon that Donnie is the turtle that came to terms with his and his family’s mortality first out of the brothers. The creation of his battle shell is especially telling here, but a majority of his tech also reflects this. The Turtle Tank having defensive and offensive capabilities, Donnie’s gifts, the Donnie pods… Donnie knows that at any point, something can come around that can hurt his brothers and take them out of his life. So- he chooses to focus on evening the odds rather than despair over the possibility.

I also headcanon this as to why Donnie is less in tune with his mystics at first. Hamato Ninpo is triggered by the desire to protect the family. Donnie’s always been able to protect his family with his tech. It’s only when that fails that he needs to look inward for other options. (Example- Raph unlocks his mystics when he jumps after Leo from Big Mama’s roof. Donnie didn’t need to. He had his tech to protect and catch Mikey). And it still manifests in the way he has protected his family in the past- through manifestations of things he can build.

While this has led him at times to feel that his tech is his best and only contribution to his family, he has also had opportunities to accept that isn’t true. This is especially evident during his time in Witch Town. He failed, seemed discouraged and hopeless about who he is and what he is able to do- but April pulled him out of that. It is just really unlucky that Leo didn’t have that chance as leader. His first major obstacle just happened to be near unbeatable.

End-all-be-all: Donnie understands he can’t do everything himself. He understands that he needs other people to succeed and people have areas of knowledge that he may not understand that will push them to their goal of survival. He’s grown out of his pride to an extent and is able to see how to make up for his weaknesses with other people’s strengths (though his ego still can surface, he is still a kid after all).

These experiences and details all combine into how I see Future Donnie operating. He makes sure people are put into positions where they can thrive and in positions where they can fail safely. He doesn’t want people to get discouraged at their odds, so a structured environment that is built for learning and growth is his focus for regular, non-leadership positions in the resistance. He’s seen how pressure has impacted the people in his family (including himself) and doesn’t want the life threatening and dangerous world they now inhabit to lead to an implosion of panic and hopelessness through any level of his ranks. He knows firsthand that is the best way to lose.

He also employs this logic with his inner circle. Mikey is a particular asset when considering the well-being of people during their day-to-day operations. April’s extensive experience from her many different jobs makes her personable and versatile in assigning positions. Raph and Casey aid in training staff and soldiers and Leo focuses on scouting and recon. (Donnie also makes sure people have a rotation through positions they are good at, positions they like, and positions that they need multiple people to learn. He doesn’t want anyone to feel like they are “just the science guy” or anything of the sort. He feels that the focus on roles in his family did ultimately lead to the divide that got them in this mess).

I like to think that if the Krang were any less unbeatable and Donnie and his family actually had time to prepare in the way they did with the Shredder- Donnie’s leadership would be successful. He got an impossible hand, but also does help queue up their actual success in the movie.

This turned really long- and I apologize if it isn’t exactly the answer you were looking for. But I absolutely love the purple turtle and could keep going on and on if I don’t force myself to stop here. Thanks again for the question ❤️

@docaid

#rottmnt #future donnie #future donatello #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #docaid #answered asks #tldr #Donnie’s time as leader is actually great!#until it ends #and boy does it end #rottmnt donnie #rottmnt donatello #leader Donnie! AU

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liberxi · 7 months ago

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We will be waiting faithfully, in case you are ready to share three ideas with us…

Alright, since you asked (and since I like talking about my writing way too much haha) I’m going to share some of my thoughts about the future of the 12th grade AU. All of them contradict each other and neither of them will ever be written, so please keep in mind that they are not canon in any way. Every reader’s guess is as valid as mine, so if you decide to read this, don’t let it influence your own headcanon! Also, given the fic this is obvious, but there is a discussion of sexual themes under the cut.

SCENARIO A: The Toxic One

Gerard and Frank actually move in together when they go to college as planned.

Things seem to be better now, because Gerard is more stable being away from his family and the peer pressure of his old friend group.

However, he still relies heavily on outside validation, because he is very insecure, which means he easily jumps on positive attention. It only takes a couple of weeks until he cheats on Frank for the first time.

Frank is obviously heart broken, but we all know that Gerard can be extremely convincing. He doesn’t even try to act remorseful, but tells Frank honestly that he loves him and that the sex with others doesn’t mean anything, which – in a way – is true. He talks Frank into opening their relationship, and Frank agrees, because they just moved in together and all of his plans for the immediate future hinge on Gerard and he is not ready to give up on it, and he knows that what they have is special and he knows that at least Gerard won’t leave him. He also knows that the relationship will be a lot more open on Gerard’s end than on his own.

Their relationship continues and it’s definitely still rocky. Gerard has a hard time fitting in at college, making friends, keeping up with his classes, etc. and he naturally takes his anger out on Frank. He is not as violent anymore though, so Frank accepts that as an improvement.

After a while on campus, Frank actually starts making friends, specifically other queer kids. In a way, he has an easier time fitting in at college than Gerard does and Gerard kind of resents him for it. Frank strikes up his first good friendship with another gay guy and there might be a bit of sexual tension between them, too, and he does his best to keep his friendship secret from Gerard, because he knows even though they are technically open, he will be punished for it. Even if Gerard won’t outright say so, he’ll make Frank feel bad about it and he’ll find other excuses to take his anger out on him.

One day they meet though and Frank is convinced he’ll be punished, but instead Gerard is the most charming motherfucker imaginable. He ends up actually seducing Frank’s friend into a threesome that leaves Frank feeling miserable. Afterwards, he acts all innocent like “I thought you liked him and I was doing you a favour!”, but Frank knows that it’s actually punishment and that Gerard simply won’t allow him to have anything of his own, because he wants Frank to be completely dependent on him.

Later Frank finds out that Gerard has stayed in touch with his friend behind his back and is hurt again, but Gerard immediately breaks it off in a “see, I would do anything for you, I’ll never talk to that guy again only so you’ll feel better!” way.

Frank’s friend actually approaches Frank to inquire about Gerard, because even though they only hooked up briefly, he noticed that Gerard is into power play and he’s worried about Frank. But after the threesome, things are so awkward between them, that Frank can’t be open with him and gets pretty defensive on Gerard’s behalf. Because it’s one thing for him to be critical of Gerard, but he doesn’t feel like anyone else has that right, because they don’t know him the way Frank does.

Frank’s friends start worrying about him more and plan an intervention. Things between him and Gerard have been so tense lately, that Frank is close to breaking down and asking for help, but then Gerard sends him the sweetest, filthiest message and when his friends see it, they conclude that Gerard is actually a lot different around Frank than around anyone else, open and vulnerable and they conclude they don’t have to worry about him. And Frank doesn’t know how to explain that Gerard actually knew exactly what he was doing with that message and that he uses his vulnerability to manipulate, but he can’t say any of that without sounding paranoid.

So he goes home to where Gerard is waiting for him all sweet and welcoming. And Frank realises he will never let him go. He will always give Frank just enough love and tenderness to make it impossible for him to leave, because he needs Frank, because Frank is the only one who can handle him at his worst. And Frank makes his peace with that, because it might not be the love he deserves, but at least it means Gerard will never leave him either.

Now, this story is pretty dark and I trashed it before even finishing the original fic, because I felt like it did not do justice to the character growth they already underwent. What would have interested me in this plot is mostly the interaction with outsiders to a toxic relationship. In 12th grade, Frank is already an outsider without much of a support system to being with and therefore an easy target. So I was interested in exploring the ways in which Gerard would make sure that he would stay isolated as they changed their social environment in college. But again, while I think that is an interesting question, the fic itself already outgrew that scenario.

SCENARIO B: The (Relatively) Healthy One

This one would be set about two years into the future, during which they didn’t stay in touch at all. Frank has gone through a lot of therapy and he has a boyfriend now, with whom he is in a healthy and stable relationship. He has some trouble with intimacy, but his boyfriend is very understanding about it.

Then pretty surprisingly, he runs into Gerard at some art school exhibition one of his friends is participating in. Gerard is rather shy, but Frank immediately pulls him in for a hug. He feels ridiculously relieved to see Gerard and it just feels right to be close to him again and he knows that’s messed up, but it’s like he has become this big scary thing in his past that he kept running from and facing Gerard actually makes him feel safe, because he no longer has to be scared of just that, and it’s all very messy and complicated.

They sneak out for a smoke and have a very honest conversation. Although they haven’t spoken in so long, Frank feels like they still have this thing going on where they can just be open with each other, because they get each other. Gerard asks him honestly if he messed Frank up, because he’s been worried about that all this time. Frank tells him just as honestly that it’s difficult in his relationship, because he tends to get panic attacks, especially during physical intimacy. It’s the first time they actually use words for what happened between them. At the end of 12th grade, they are both able to finally acknowledge the abuse that took place, but they still don’t call it that. This has changed now, at least Frank is more open about it, and although it obviously pains Gerard, he makes a point out of listening, because he owes that much to Frank.

After that, they also reflect on the more positive aspects of their relationship and they talk about their regrets. Frank says that he regrets not telling Gerard that he loved him at a point where he might have said it back and Gerard tells him that he probably wouldn’t have said it back anyway, even though that’s how he felt. He also confesses that he regrets never eating Frank out and Frank gets really flustered by that. Gerard asks if he even likes it and Frank owns up that he doesn’t know because he never tried before and they end up talking about his sex life some more. He admits that part of the problems with his boyfriend are due to his ptsd, but that his boyfriend is pretty vanilla at the same time and that it bothers him. He always liked Gerard’s rough treatment and just because he’s been through some shit doesn’t mean he is unable to decide what he can handle now. Gerard is absolutely scandalised that anyone would have the chance to give it to Frank good and just not do it and that gets Frank even more flustered.

He invites Gerard to a gig he is playing soon, but Gerard tells him that he doesn’t really want to see him. He confesses that he can’t stop thinking about kissing Frank and he doesn’t want to try being his friend when Frank has a good relationship going on and it might just complicate things. Frank is sad, but he has to admit that Gerard has a point, because he is also attracted to him in a way he does simply not feel with his boyfriend.

They part, but a week later, Gerard shows up to his gig anyway. Frank realises how much he has changed. He is no longer the centre of attention in his friend group, but fades into the background and seems more shy, but also a lot calmer in general. He’s actually wearing a skirt to the concert, showing that he’s more comfortable with expressing himself these days and less worried about people’s opinions of him. He tells Frank that he changed his mind and that he did want to support him as a friend and not stay out of his life for selfish reasons.

Frank asks him to come along drinking with his friends and things quickly turn awkward, because they stay so close to each other and clearly have such an intense chemistry that everyone mistakes Gerard for Frank’s boyfriend and Frank constantly has to go “ahaha, no, that’s my ex actually, my boyfriend is over there”.

It’s clear that the situation isn’t feasible in the long run, but they try to become friends. They hang out a lot and tell each other stuff very honestly. Other than Frank, who really craved a stable and supportive relationship after what happened with Gerard, Gerard has decided that he’d be better off on his own. He’s sleeping around occasionally though and tells Frank about it, which basically drives Frank crazy with jealousy and want. He’s so head over heels for Gerard again, that he eventually breaks up with his boyfriend.

He basically just wants to jump Gerard’s bones immediately, but Gerard insists that they take it slow. They actually go on a couple of dates and do the actual dating thing they never got to do in high school when things were so messed up. Eventually, they sleep with each other and it isn’t vanilla at all, but very consensual and Frank finally feels good about what they have.

This one is the healthiest take, since they actually become friends first and learn to communicate instead of trying to solve everything through sex. They also acknowledge everything that went wrong in the past and are both relatively stable, even though it’s clear that Frank has found his footing a bit better at college, where he has picked up music again and build a solid friend circle. Gerard is more at terms with himself, but also more introverted and clearly still depressed. It’s still something that they share though and that makes their relationship so genuine.

SCENARIO C: The Dramatic One

This one follows a three-act structure with 12th Grade being the first part! The second part is set about two years into college and follows a similar premise as Scenario B. They run into each other again after not having had contact in all this time and the attraction is instantly mutual again. Gerard is now in his Black Parade era.

Frank has carved out a nice life for himself at college, build up a friend circle and he is sharing an apartment with Ray, who is not too happy to see Gerard back in his life again. Gerard on the other hand is still quite unstable.

Gerard has gotten heavily into the bdsm scene in the meantime, and he specifically explored his own submissive side more. He’s actually quite hesitant to get back into it with Frank, because he doesn’t trust himself. During their first times together, he gets Frank off, but keeps his own clothes on. Later, they start exploring things more, and especially when Gerard is upset, he asks Frank to hurt him. Their dynamic is definitely different now and Gerard has learned a lot about consent in the meantime. They both switch, but their sex can mostly be described as consensual, but not safe or sane. Ray will often enough come home to noises that make him believe his apartment will one day be an actual murder scene, but he gave up on trying to fix whatever messy thing they have going on.

Whatever it is, their sex life is actually bomb, but that’s pretty much the best thing about their relationship. Gerard is struggling with a serious drinking problem. It doesn’t turn him violent, but often enough, he’ll just pass out next to Frank. He still does that thing where he tries to run away from his problems, he switches courses, projects, friend groups, etc. Sometimes, he will also just disappear for days or even weeks at a time, but Frank has learned to know that he’ll blow up if he doesn’t let him go and he always comes back. They fight a lot and although their fights aren’t violent, neither of them is especially happy in the relationship.

They try to take a desperate road trip together like old times to patch things up, but they have to accept that they aren’t really able to help each other. Gerard gets a scholarship for an art program in a different part of the country and he takes it, running once again and hoping that things will get better elsewhere. They break off all contact.

The third part is set about 10 years after 12th grade. Frank has been in a happy, stable relationship for years and just got engaged to his boyfriend. There is just one problem. That last, desperate road trip he and Gerard took when they were 20 to fix their relationship? Yep, they got hitched in Vegas and never bothered to get a divorce.

Frank now has to explain to his fiancé that he needs to get a divorce first and at first, he is amused. But then he figures who Frank is married to and starts freaking out a little. The thing is, Frank has told him about his first love Gerard and all the good times they had together. He also told him about the abuse he experienced in high school and the messed up relationship he had in college. He had, however, never made it clear that those people were in fact all one and the same. His fiancé is naturally questioning Frank’s sanity, because how could he be so fond of someone who hurt him that badly?

Anyway, Frank is dead set on getting married and leading a happy life with his boyfriend, who is nice and boring and stable. He has no idea how to contact Gerard, who just disappeared from his life, but he manages to get in touch with Mikey, who tells him that Gerard is now living in LA as a comic book artist. He is very nervous about calling Gerard, but he does and it’s surprisingly easy to explain the situation and Gerard doesn’t make it a big deal. He promises to come up to New York soon to sign the papers.

They meet at a diner. Gerard is now in his Danger Days era and Frank is quite honestly blown away, but hey, he is engaged! He hands the papers to Gerard, who is very nonchalant about it and wants to sign them immediately, pointing out how they were just kids and all that, and Frank is hurt that it seems to mean so little to him. So he calls Gerard out on it and asks him to not act that indifferent. Obviously neither of them got the divorce so far, because they were still kind of attached to each other and weren’t able to let go of the last thing connecting them. And Gerard puts down the pen and is like “you are right, Frankie, I do care. Let me meet him at least before I sign, so I can tell you are in good hands”.

Frank is hesitant but also kind of relieved about the delay, so he asks Gerard to come home with him to introduce him to his fiancé. And obviously, this is where things go to shit. Gerard is charming and a flirt and Frank’s fiancé is kind of into him and takes the whole thing a bit too lightly, half joking that they were married after all and that maybe they’d feel better about letting it go if they banged it out one last time. He definitely noticed the tension between Frank and Gerard, but clearly didn’t expect to set off an explosion.

Frank and Gerard start fighting immediately. Frank’s fiancé is shocked, because he doesn’t understand that for them, arguing and violence and sex are weirdly tangled up and he thinks he actually triggered something dangerous. Their fight is really just a struggle for dominance though and Gerard quickly gets the upper hand. They did this so much in college that they easily fall back into it and Frank basically goes under deep pretty much instantly. His fiancé freaks out, because he’s never seen Frank like this before and Frank realises that he put him off by letting him see too much of the “real mess” he is, which he kept hidden from anyone but Gerard in all these years. He has a panic attack that his fiancé also doesn’t know how to deal with. Gerard could easily swoop in and tear up their whole relationship, but instead he gives Frank’s fiancé very clear instructions on how to care for him and leaves before anything serious happens. His fiancé cares for him and calms him down, but he is obviously shaken.

Once Frank has it together again, he finds the signed divorce papers on the table and realises that Gerard has run off once again. He tries to patch things up with his fiancé for another day, but there is obviously something wrong. He wants to break up with Frank, because he realises how much Frank kept hidden from him in their relationship, about his past, about his preferences, all that stuff. His arguments are actually pretty reasonable, but all Frank hears is that his biggest fears have come true, that someone has seen him for who he really is and deemed him too much and unworthy of love.

His fiancé packs his bags and leaves and Frank is absolutely devastated, his mental health going to shit and he knows that he can’t be alone. He calls up Gerard, although he does not expect him to pick up, because disappearing is the one thing he’s good at. He does pick up though and Frank just says “he left me” and Gerard cancels his flight back to LA and shows up on Frank’s doorstep without hesitation.

He moves in without further comment, just getting Frank through the worst of it, making sure he eats and showers occasionally. Frank is convinced he’ll leave after a couple of days, but Gerard only goes home briefly to pick up his art supplies and more clothes and it becomes clear that he will stay as long as Frank needs him to, even though staying too long in one place and with one person isn’t his strong suit.

They just live together, so Frank doesn’t have to be alone. They are not really dating or sleeping with each other for the longest time. It basically mirrors the final part of 12th Grade, where Frank leaves with Gerard without question, because he needs him. And here we finally see Gerard doing the same – staying without question because Frank needs him.

Of course they eventually start having sex again, but it’s slow and weirdly natural. Frank is finally over his heart break enough to talk about it. He tells Gerard how he only ever wanted a family and that boring commitment that Gerard never seemed ready for and that it was more about that sense of safety than about the person, and he thought he finally found it, but apparently, it’s just not meant for him, because he’s too fucked up and doesn’t know how to be happy, etc. And Gerard just tells him that there is no need to get divorced after all and just for the time being, they already are a family.

Frank keeps waiting for the other shoe to drop though, because he knows Gerard and he knows he won’t stay. Eventually, Gerard tells him he has to go back to LA for his job and to his apartment, and Frank braces himself to be left behind. But then Gerard asks him to move with him. His apartment is bigger than Frank’s, he is a studio musician and will get more gigs in LA anyway and there is nothing holding him back. Frank is confused, because asking him to move into his space is very unlike Gerard. It means he’ll give up his retreat, so he won’t have a place to run to anymore, if Frank becomes too much and Gerard tells him that he’s finally done trying to get away.

He also tells Frank “I love you” for the very first time. He never said it during 12th Grade and not during their relationship in college either. Frank points that out and Gerard says “yeah, because the words are a promise and I didn’t want to give it unless I was finally sure I’d be able to keep it”.

They are definitely both fucked up in this and both feel like no one else would ever be able to put up with them, that’s why neither of them got the divorce in the first place. It’s not necessarily healthy, but by the end of it, they have matured enough to finally get more comfort than hurt out of each other’s brokenness.

#anon ask #sorry this reply escalated a little

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hiorintruther · 2 years ago

Text

The scans have been out a few days now so I’m posting this. We just got Hiori’s backstory so let me expel more Hiorin headcanons onto you good people (seriously why are we so delusional abt this ship???) — obviously massive spoiler warning as of chapter 206 of the manga.

Also a cw for child abuse — these hcs pretty much all deal with their trauma:

Hiori and Rin have had a very long, very depressing trauma dump conversation about their families.

Rin has decided to add Hiori’s parents to the ‘I’ll fucking kill them’ list inside his head… which he totally has for no reason in particular…

Hiori likewise understands Rin’s resentment towards Sae deeply and doesn’t blame him at all for feeling so angry and upset.

The fact that the family members they hate are all telling them they aren’t good enough as they are (Sae explicitly, Hiori’s parents implicitly) ends up becoming a means of mutual understanding between them, allowing Hiori to feel a bit safer around Rin and Rin to not hate Hiori like he does the rest of Blue Lock.

Rin has tried to subtly allude to the idea that Hiori can move in with him at any time to get away from his family. Hiori has only half picked up on the signals though because a) Rin is shit at communicating anything nice, and b) Rin’s almost year younger than Hiori so it doesn’t actually make much sense to do that but it’s the thought that counts.

A lot of their conversations take place in the monitor room, in the dark, where they feel safest being vulnerable with each other (aka: see my fic on AO3).

Hiori has used dry, dark humour as a coping mechanism in front of Rin before and Rin has started doing it too occasionally.

So many “lol I hate my family, I hope they die, jk… unless?” jokes.

They end up having a mutual understanding for one another and can almost subconsciously pick up on when something reminds the other of their trauma.

For some more domestic, outside/no Blue Lock hcs (there’s a ton of food-related ones here idk why):

When they make dinner, Rin is sure to mix a healthy, balanced meal with convenience store foods coz Hiori hates eating a very strict diet. It reminds Hiori of the way his parents used to control everything about his life down to what he ate. Sometimes, Rin even makes a separate meal for himself because he wants to calorie count and know exactly what he’s eating, but Hiori’s had a bad day and really needs some instant ramen and pudding.

Hiori doesn’t have a big sweet tooth though, as a result of his parents’ conditioning. He didn’t grow up accustomed to sweet things so he finds anything too sugary difficult to eat (this comes from the egoist Bible where his least favourite food is cotton candy because of the sugar content). His love of salty food however is through the roof and Rin has to remind him to check the sodium contents on the meals he chooses at the convenience store.

Rin has stopped insulting or talking badly about Isagi around Hiori, purely because Hiori feels safe around Isagi. It’s a challenge, and mostly they try to keep Isagi out of their conversations altogether, but if he does come up Rin attempts to be neutral.

Sometimes, Hiori holes himself up in his computer room playing shooters. When that happens, Rin knows to leave him alone until he’s out of his slump, because it’s usually a sign that Hiori is remembering some bad memories. They both like their own space anyway, so it isn’t as if much changes in their routines.

While Hiori’s in a slump, Rin restocks their fridge with energy drinks and instant meals so Hiori can dip in and out to get food when he wants it. He eats alone unless Hiori texts him saying he’ll be out to get food.

Rin also doesn’t bring up anything to Hiori once Hiori re-emerges from his room, letting Hiori come to him if he wants to talk about it. Hiori knows Rin struggles with dealing with trauma, so he usually leaves it.

Once when Rin was having a particularly stressful time, Hiori bought him a whole box of his favourite ice creams (the ones he used to get on the way home from practice) and they had a competition to see who could get the most “winner” sticks. Rin won.

Hiori has also attempted to learn how to cook so he can make Rin food when Rin isn’t feeling up to cooking. Rin says he’ll just order takeout but Hiori insists on trying some of his recipes. How successful he is varies on how easy it is to throw the ingredients in a pan and let them simmer.

When sleeping together, they usually stick to their own sides of the bed but sometimes when Hiori is feeling upset he reaches out to Rin as a comfort. Rin isn’t the best at providing said comfort, but he lets Hiori into his arms in those moments.

On the flip-side, if Rin has been feeling angry or frustrated because of Sae, Hiori will slowly snake his arms around Rin’s torso and hug him close, becoming the big spoon despite being smaller. Rin places his hand over Hiori’s as a reassurance that he feels reassured doing this.

Sometimes, but not always, this nighttime cuddling leads to talking about their pasts. Rin always holds Hiori very close and says that Hiori was never in the wrong and never deserved to go through anything that happened as a result of his parents’ expectations (usually with a lot of colourful language). Hiori likewise will do the same for Rin whenever Sae gets brought up, although he’s less vulgar. His words are somehow even more scathing though.

They both find it easier to open up in the dark. It feels like a safety blanket that can hide their vulnerability, especially for Rin.

#blue lock #bllk #blue lock manga spoilers #blue lock manga #hiorin #blue lock hiori #blue lock rin #itoshi rin #hiori yo #I’m having constant brainrot for this rarepair #10 fics on AO3 guys!!!#we’re being fed so much :’)#hiorin headcanons #hiorin hcs

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saintsenara · 1 year ago

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subluxation is a need and i would like you to talk about it

also please god talk about gardener’s question time. i’m so serious

thank you, pal, for two exemplary choices from the work in progress tag game list!

very funny to me that - having once declared yourself to not be a rare pair girly - you have come out swinging in favour of the two rare pairs on the list. the corruption continues apace...

gardener's question time is the result of a prompt i saw last year for a rare pair fest - which i didn't have the time to dive into at the time but which has stayed gnawing at my brain ever since - for a post-war fic with severus snape/andromeda tonks as the pairing.

and you'd better believe i was intrigued...

we're still in the early stages with this one, but the basic idea is to bring these two together through the complexity of their grief. [cheerful...]

the struggle when writing things in which snape lives is, of course, how you approach the fact that he has been living according to a script which has now ended. for all the implication of canon that dumbledore expected him to survive [why does he tell harry at king's cross that he intended snape to be the true master of the elder wand, if he wasn't planning for his loyal spy to reveal his true loyalties by helping deliver voldemort's final death blow?], snape can be very easily viewed as having presumed - and maybe even hoped? - that he would die in the second war.

how he deals with - for the first time in his life - having no master and having the freedom to choose to live on his own terms is something i think is always interesting to explore.

but i think it's particularly interesting to mash into andromeda's own finished script - the fact that her war has ended so devastatingly, with her husband, daughter, and son-in-law all dead; that she has gone from being a grandmother to teddy's primary caregiver [and the resentments that brings up - as we've talked about before, i'm wedded to the idea that she doesn't really like harry and isn't thrilled that he's teddy's godfather]; and, most thorny of all, that her sister is dead and there is now absolutely no chance of bellatrix seeing the error of her ways and trying to make amends [which, while i loathe the common trope that andromeda and her sisters would reconcile easily, is something i believe it's entirely reasonable for her to have hoped could be possible, even if she recognised it's unlikely it ever would have been.]

snape's post-war relationship with the malfoys - presumably absolutely torpedoed by the reveal that he was a spy - also has parallels with andromeda's post-war reckoning with narcissa.

the title is because andromeda wanting to grow a kitchen garden of medicinal plants [and healing through it! omg, a metaphor!] was the premise which sprang to mind when i came up with this. i may have been watching gardener's world [i'd risk it all for monty don] at the time.

subluxation is obviously something we've talked about a lot, seeing as its development has definitely run alongside percy entering his post-war flop era in beasts.

for the uninitiated, it's - in the main - the story of what percy's year of working for the death eater-controlled ministry during deathly hallows looked like.

i think we've both been struck by the fact that pretty much every fic which deals with this question has percy offering some sort of behind-the-scenes resistance to voldemort's regime - maybe not as flashy as that offered by the order members in his family [although, let's be real, what the order actually does in that year is... debatable], but fundamentally aligned with the goodies against evil.

and, i want to be clear, all of the percy-the-resistance-fighter stories i've read have been amazing. but they've still never managed to shake me from my conviction that he probably... didn't do anything substantive against the regime at all. that he just fucked around and then, as the battle of hogwarts approach, began to find out...

and i am choosing to take 'fucking around' literally...

have a little snippet from this month's chapter:

Audrey's gripping his hand.

Her palm is clammy. His isn’t much better.

She was called back from her day off an hour ago. The Minister’s full support staff is assembled in a row against the wall in Meeting Room J. Biagio is crying. Clarice looks like she’s about to be sick.

Rookwood - Mr Rookwood, they have to call him now - is slithering up and down the line, snapping at anyone with wonky knots in their ties or lint on their robes. The hum of chatter rolls in from the Atrium. It sounds warm, the ordinary murmur of people greeting old friends or needling each other over Quidditch rivalries. The staff from the canteen mingle among them with platters of canapes - the Death Eaters have upped the usual standard of refreshments, but perhaps that’s part of pulling off a coup, Percy wouldn’t know - and champagne.

Hands are being shaken, and partners and children are being asked after, and holiday plans are being discussed, and absolutely nobody - not a single, solitary member of the great and the good of wizarding Britain - seems shocked to discover that the entire world has been upended in a matter of hours, on this completely ordinary day.

It's this which is so terrifying, that the Minister didn’t see any of this coming, but everyone else did.

Agnes Skim, who presents the six o’clock news on the WWN, kissed Mr Yaxley on both cheeks and asked if he and his wife were still coming over on Sunday. Mr Selwyn was laughing uproariously at a joke told by one of the Wizengamot’s most distinguished members as he showed him to his seat. Half of the Hogwarts governors are milling around the place, making cheerful conversation with mass-murderers. There are representatives present from Gringotts and St Mungo’s and the Diagon Alley Shopkeepers Guild. The Prophet’s chief political correspondent breezed in five minutes ago, gabbing away to Travers - Mr Travers - like he was an old friend.

Which, Percy supposes, he probably is.

The Unspeakables have crawled out of their domain to greet Mr Rookwood like some conquering hero, miraculously returned from a mission all thought doomed. And, out of all the mundane horrors of that afternoon, it is the sight of Mr Croaker - who sends his father a card every Christmas and complimented his mother on her hat at the last staff party - thumping him on the back and saying ‘bloody wonderful to see you, Gus’ and Rookwood saying ‘likewise, Saul’ and Croaker grinning and saying ‘this is quite the event, isn’t it? I hope he’s paying you overtime’ and Rookwood winking at him and saying ‘I shall pretend not to have heard that’ and both of them collapsing into laughter, which makes tears start to slide down Percy’s face.

But not for long. There is no time to panic, because Rookwood clicks his fingers at them and tells them to line up on the dais in the Atrium, as a hundred camera bulbs flash and blind them. Banners are draped everywhere, and while they show the Ministry’s insignia and not the Dark Mark, the fact that so many people are walking around with rolled-up sleeves makes clear that they are one and the same now.

The only comfort, he thinks, the only comfort, is that - as he looks out at the sea of chairs, signs affixed to them reading Avery - Dolohov - Mulciber - Carrow in elegant calligraphy, he doesn't see one labelled The Dark Lord.

A hush falls over the room as Mr Thicknesse, in magnificent burgundy robes, his hair slicked back, displaying his high forehead, steps on to the dais and places a series of notecards on a lectern. It is so quiet you could hear a pin drop. Percy wonders if the hammering of his heart is echoing in the room.

‘Wizards and witches of Britain,’ says Thicknesse, and there is an outbreak of applause. He holds up his hands to still it.

‘Wizards and witches of Britain. My friends.

‘This afternoon, following a special meeting of the electors, in which they voted unanimously in my favour, I was invited by the Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot to accede to the office of Minister for Magic. It was my profound honour to accept the position. I am humbled by your trust in me to steer our great nation through this time of turmoil.’

There is another outbreak of applause, another barrage of camera flashes. And Percy notices that Lestrange is standing at the back of the room, talking to a man who greatly resembles him. Who must, he supposes, be his brother.

‘I have sworn before the court and swear before you now that I will uphold and defend the values - and the dignity - of the Ministry of Magic.’

In the years to come, he will look back and wonder whether he can pinpoint the exact moment when his life changed. If he can unravel a single thread from the tapestry of a hundred thousand ordinary days and follow it back to one pivotal second.

‘But I consider it my duty to go even further. I consider it my duty not only to defend the dignity of the Ministry, but to defend the dignity of magic itself.’

And he will conclude that he can. That he can trace all of it, every single bit of it, back to Rabastan Lestrange leaning forward, and accidentally brushing against Rodolphus Lestrange’s injured shoulder, and Rodolphus wincing - only slightly, but enough to make clear to Percy that he is not a monster at all - and revealing himself to be an ordinary man, who is tired after a long day and who aches.

‘Because are we not tired? Do we not grow weary at the sight of our traditions being torn down and soiled? Do we not feel crushed as more and more of our values are washed away, as the ordinary, hard-working witches and wizards of this country are told that they should be ashamed of themselves for their faith in the might of magic?

‘I will be a Minister for those people. I will be a Minister for those who are proud to be set apart by magic. I will rid them of the filth which pollutes their lives and forces them into compromise and shame.

‘I will bring them something clean and true and refreshing.

‘Something proud.

‘And pure.’

[if you think this speech is copied from succession... you would be one hundred percent correct.]

#work in progress ask game #asenora fics #gardener's question time #andromeda tonks #severus snape #subluxation #percy weasley #rodolphus lestrange

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