#can you tell i have some resentment from trying to find fic for the very few het ships i've ever had that doesn't reduce their personalities

[marley-manson]

Out of curiosity, how would you describe ways people are misogynistic about female characters they like? I can probably guess, ("she's a perfect angel", "she's two dimensional now because everything she does is excusable", "she's the mother", etc.) but I would like to hear your take on it

Yeah that's definitely one of the categories of commentary I was thinking of. Reducing her down to a badass lady with the sole braincell, ignoring flaws and complexities and completely smoothing out her personality, mom friend lol, you nailed that. Also the classic awesome lady and her silly boys style threesome stuff, or the canon love interest in m/m who is totally understanding and supportive and steps aside or welcomes an open relationship happily. It's super annoying and tbqh I'd by far rather see people completely ignore a fictional woman's existence than frame her like that. Honestly, I'd rather see genuine character bashing of a love interest lol, because at least in those fics she usually has a personality, and sometimes even gets to do interesting things.

On the het fan side of things I'd also include a loooooooot of the ways people write and talk about het romance. I see a lot of female character fans, usually the kind who are resentful of m/m and call gay shippers misogynist a lot, who act like their favourite fictional woman can only attain personal fulfillment if she gets together with the dude they ship her with and see anyone who doesn't ship her with a dude (often including f/f fans) as like, maliciously depriving her of happiness lol.

But also all those little heteronormative things that add up - the woman is 'spunky' or 'sassy' (because the man has the power), she falls very neatly into the small weak feminine category to contrast with the manly dude with rough calloused hands (no matter how effeminate the dude actually is lol), she's nurturing and comforting and reads the dude's mind to provide him exactly what he needs and is tolerant and indulgent of his shittiness, her good looks are pointed out a lot, she's a great mom no matter what her canon personality is, etc etc.

And then there's the ship wars lol. Being a fan of a fictional woman absolutely does not mean you love all fictional women, and a lot of the absolute nastiest most misogynist statements I've seen in fandom have come from rival hetshippers wanking. You want to see a woman called a screeching harpy or a fugly slut or a manipulative whore or whatever else lol dive into a fandom with rival het ship wars. My favourite woman is practically perfect in every way and deserves the dude, your favourite woman is a wanton hussy.

This also holds true for the very few f/f fandoms that have rival f/f ships ime. Even Xena fandom regularly had plenty of misogynist things to say about any woman who makes eyes at Gabrielle who isn't Xena lol.

Also I would argue that wider f/f fandom's really fucking annoying compulsion to smooth away all relationship and character flaws and write two perfect women braiding each others' hair and maybe delicately finger-fucking at best in fear of problematic dynamics and kinks is also misogynist at its core, at least as an inescapable trend if not on an individual basis. Though, on that individual basis, the rhetoric around policing problematic f/f is absolutely misogynist (and homophobic). Good women don't get off on power and abuse, we can only like totally egalitarian sex, you're probably a predator if you're into dark fiction, that kind of shit.

And of course that also goes for the rhetoric around fic in general and how much misogyny is aimed at women writing kinky shit or m/m etc, but that's a bit of a digression since it's aimed at real women rather than fictional characters, so I'll stop there.

Thanks for asking and giving me a chance to complain more lol <3

[lexirosewrites]

popping in for slick sunday again with another bit on a fic im working on :) i hope you enjoy :)

(warnings ahead for mpreg, angst, and some medical stuff that probably doesn't make actual sense bc i possess no more than a basic knowledge)

this fic's big focus is secret pregnancy. steve and eddie are not dating, but they have this more "friends with benefits" type thing going on. that is, until eddie leaves. he's off with Corroded Coffin, trying to make a name for themselves in the industry. what eddie doesn't know, and what steve finds out a few weeks later, is that steve is pregnant (with twins).

steve decides to keep it a secret because he doesn't want to "ruin" eddie's life. he knows eddie would come back the second he knew, and he didn't want to be the reason eddie gave up on his dream. steve doesn't tell anyone for the first month or so, and then slowly, their friends start being pulled into the loop. robin first, of course. everyone promises not to tell eddie, even though most of them aren't happy about it. eventually, even wayne and the rest of corroded coffin find out about it.

wayne insists on being part of their lives, if steve will let him. which obviously he does, because he loves wayne and would never want to keep him out. so then it's weekly dinners at the trailer, and wayne offering to babysit when steve has to work, and wayne coming over to their apartment often. the twins spend a lot of time with wayne, and he spoils them whenever he can. he's really the only grandparent figure they have, and he's more than happy to take on the role.

when eddie does, eventually, find all of this out, it's not under the best circumstances. it's been about six years since he left hawkins without looking back. the band is at the studio, recording for the new album, when eddie gets a call. the first time he's heard from steve since he left. his entire world is flipped when steve drops the news. eddie has pups he's never known about, and one of them is sick. really sick. the doctors don't think she has much time, and she needs a bone marrow transplant, but finding a match is taking longer than they'd hoped. eddie might be the only option left to save her.

of course, eddie's on a plane back to indiana that same night, no questions asked. well, very few questions asked at least. his mind is reeling the whole time. he doesn't have the full story. all he does know is that he has to get back. he meets the twins separately. first, his daughter, before she's taken for more testing. she lights up, so excited that he's there and asking 100 different questions all at once. he loves her so much already. he meets his son a little later, and it's different. he's more closed off, wary. he's sitting on steve's lap glaring daggers at eddie across the room. it's clear that he holds some resentment, and eddie can't say he blames him. when eddie tries to explain that he's there to help, that he'll be there however long they need him, the boy blows up. he's angry, spitting back at eddie that they don't need him, they never did. steve immediately tries to step in, but eddie stops him. he's right, and eddie knows that. he deserves this.

it may have been steve who kept the twins from eddie, but eddie's the one that never bothered to come back. never called. never visited. he's just as much to blame, and he knows that. all he can do is try to make up for his own shortcomings, and hope it's enough.

happy slick sunday!

oh my god my heart is broken😭

[strifentines]

Hi! Can you tell us more about what’s going on in your roleswap au? I love the composition!

hello! so sorry if this is really late, i'm assuming you mean the most recent version!

put simply our au only swaps out the roles of zuko and azula, so technically it's not a full roleswap, but... who cares! not me! anywho.

i'll explain what we have so far in chronological order — so everything before the series stays pretty much the same up until zuko and ozai's agni kai. somehow ozaiheard through the grapevine that the dai li were capable of controlling minds, so he contacts them, and says pretty much, “the fire nation won't make a second invasion attempt on you guys if you give us your mind control tech.”

the dai li readily agree, and ozai uses their tech to convince zuko of the following while he's in bedrest instead of banishing him:

1. ursa was the bad parent, ozai has always been caring and loving toward him, and ursa had to leave because she was so cruel

2. zuko got his scar from a training accident

3. the fire nation was working for the good of the world the whole time, none of what they do is unjust in anyway, they're just trying to save everyone

Ozai keeps zuko stuck at home so that nobody is able to show the truth to him (though he tells zuko he can't go outside because he's very sick and weak), and puts up a front of being a loving and caring father to better manipulate him. because zuko no longer holds doubts about himself in his mind and has been so heavily brainwashed by ozai, he becomes a much better firebender, and slowly falls into the same manipulative, crazy habits that azula has.

azula is then pushed off to the sidelines because of this, and feels very unseen. This makes her start to resent ozai and zuko and want to overthrow them, so she remains selfish and working for the fire nation at first.

Zhao is who ends up getting sent to find the avatar, but after he escapes Pohuai stronghold, ozai sends azula and iroh to go find him in his stead to “make use of them”. this is how she ends up taking the role of zuko.

azula ends up failing and turning at the siege of the north just as zuko did, so ozai lets zuko go with a ship full of people to “take care of” (monitor and continue brainwashing + worship) him. zuko so genuinely believes that he's working for the good of the world here and wants to make everyone friends with him, but as time goes on, his frustration and small memories of his past grow, and his behavior becomes more unhinged.

we have been working on this au together for a while, but it's not fully fleshed out yet, so that's all i can say for certain (+ no spoilers unless we create a fic or anything in the future!)

pls remember my best friend has been helping me a lot with this! her account is @dimlylitsmalltown, she mainly only reblogs, but if you get the chance go show her some love guys!

[tsukimefuku]

forgiveness is a collective resource ✦ satoru gojo

summary: as you're telling gojo about your most recent fallout, he ends up telling you in return the last question geto posed him before leaving.

tags: jujutsu kaisen, f!reader, platonic! gojo x reader, implied higuruma x reader, fluff, angst, our beloved white haired, blue-eyed sorcerer receives some well deserved comfort.

wc: 900

notes, etc: i wrote this to the sound of i'm only human. it felt like a good fit. i wanted to write this one for so long, but never knew where i'd put it on the story. i'm happy to have found its place.

✦ collection of stories: "jujutsu partners au" → masterlist for fics listed in chronological order of events

I'm no prophet or Messiah ✦ You should go looking somewhere higher ✦ I'm only human, after all ✦ I'm only human, I do what I can ✦ Don't put the blame on me

"So, that's what happened," you concluded, taking another bite from your sandwich.

"Yeesh," was all Gojo mustered up to say, not being the best at comforting people.

You and Gojo were having a snack in the woods that surrounded Jujutsu High's HQ, and you had just told him about Hiromi's departure to Morioka.

"Having people leaving is shit," you noted, "especially when you care deeply about them. Feels like being left alone to fend off for yourself."

At that, he fell weirdly silent, and you wondered if maybe this would be the best moment to inquire about Geto. After a while, you had learned everything about their fallout — the death of Riko, how Geto had a sharp descent into madness, how he murdered an entire village and had been awarded the death penalty for that.

"The last thing Hiromi told me before he left was that he loved me," which was a twisted, painful little kindness, you thought. "What was the last thing Geto told you when he left?"

You noticed Gojo's demeanor changing a little, and his body becoming stiff. You gave him a few moments before he'd resume his talking.

After a sigh, he ensued.

"'Are you Satoru Gojo because you're the strongest, or are you the strongest because you're Satoru Gojo?'" He took a bite from his sweets, and continued to speak with a half-mouthful of sugar. "That was his final question to me before he left."

"What a stupid question."

"Huh?"

"What? You don't know the answer to that?"

He was silent.

You sighed. "You really think that low of yourself? Ugh. The latter, obviously."

The sorcerer was thoroughly surprised and somewhat dumbfounded, so he simply stayed silent in order to hear your observations, something that could be considered the highest form of respect Gojo Satoru was able to display for someone.

You shook your head before proceeding.

"First of all, Geto didn't know what he was talking about, because he wasn't seeing you, only a distorted reflection of his own resentment towards you for supposedly leaving him alone to spiral down madness on his own. Stop blaming yourself. You did what you could, all of you did."

You involuntarily sighed, trying to push the heaviness away from your heart.

"We sorcerers really need to put our God complex aside and learn to forgive ourselves."

Then, you took a pause to sip on your soda, proceeding.

"I blamed myself for years, just to have it all blow up in my face a decade later. Hiromi left a good new life he had built for himself to chase ghosts from the past," and Nanami, arguably the best one of us all, made a terrible decision that rendered him miserable, you thought, "all because of this wicked little thing called guilt. Guilt weighs us down, tethers us to the past and prevents us from moving forward. So here it is: I forgive you. Have my forgiveness." 

"Your forgiveness? For what?" Gojo asked, slightly confused.

"For whatever you want to use it for. Use it to forgive yourself, since you couldn't find it in you for your own benefit. Have absolution. Forgiveness is a collective resource, and we can all forgive each other for our shortcomings. We're all human, after all."

For the very first time ever, you saw Gojo's expression softening underneath his blindfold, and you wondered if the one looking back at you right now was the teenager that failed Riko Amanai and Suguru Geto so many years ago.

The real Satoru Gojo, underneath all the silly cockiness.

"And just to finish answering the question Geto posed, that's precisely why you're the strongest because you're Satoru Gojo, and not the other way around. It was from your failure that the strongest could emerge, and your fallibility stems from you and your humanity."

You now knew how those days went, especially Toji's plan of wearing Gojo down to strike, and the way Gojo told you mindlessly about the first time he let his infinity turned on for days on end.

"You tired yourself in Amanai's benefit, and it put you in a vulnerable position, something only Satoru Gojo, and not the abstract concept of 'the strongest', would ever do. That's why that question is fucking stupid and offensive. You're more than the six eyes and infinity, and more than the people you couldn't save. Let it go," you concluded, taking another sip from your soda.

You were both silent for a moment, and you briefly wondered if you hadn't stepped over a boundary.

"Please, get up" he solicited, an indecipherable voice and expression to his blindfold covered face, getting up from the ground himself.

"Oh, okay," you answered, slightly surprised at the unexpected request.

In a second, Gojo leaned down his huge frame and embraced you, remaining still like that for a minute as you hugged him back, having your chin hooked above his shoulder.

At this moment, even if he was a giant in comparison to you, he seemed and felt remarkably small.

"Thank you," he said, his voice but a whisper behind your head.

You smiled, tightening your grip around his back, happy you could finally reach him and keep him true company.

"No problem, pretty boy. You saved my ass so many times. Thought I'd try to return the favor, which you should know is not something easy to do, since you're the strongest," you said with a laugh, "not all kikufuku in the world would pay off that debt."

He huffed a brief chuckle, letting go of you, feeling he might not be so alone anymore.

[effloradox]

I love Taylor swift and twilight! Ur blog is perfection 💜! Do you mind doing more jasper fan fics!

thank you so much, you're so sweet 🥺

Jasper doesn't like to talk about his past. Conversions about his history are reserved for late night whispers, when it's just the two of you in the safe haven of your room. It's not something you hold against him, you can't judge him for something he did over a hundred years ago in bad faith, but you know he feels resentment for the person he used to be. You know how much he struggles with controlling his thirst, and it’s still not the easiest thing for you to deal with.

The problem with introducing a human into a house full of vampires is that it had the potentially to go fatally wrong. Control is something that all your coven take very seriously, it's the only way you can continue to exist amongst humans after all. Everyone knows that it's you and Jasper that have the hardest time controlling yourselves around blood, it’s not exactly a secret. It never fails to astound you the sheer amount of control that Carlisle exhibits on a daily basis in his job. You're getting better with controlling your urges, and you haven't relapsed for a while but introducing a clumsy human into the house felt like a disaster waiting to happen.

In a way you blame Edward. Your emotions towards your adoptive brother are complicated even on a good day, but the idea of him bringing his human girlfriend into the house for her birthday felt like a terrible idea from the offset. Part of you had hoped Alice would have some dramatic vision that would mean you could call the whole thing off but all she'd seen was an admittedly nice vision of Bella blowing out the candles on her birthday cake surrounded by all of you.

It seemed Edward had forgotten how unbelievably accident prone his new girlfriend was though. An unforgivable oversight on his part, one you'll definitely be calling him out on later. You'd turned your back on the birthday girl for a second, just to look over to where Alice and Esme were putting the finishing touches on the cake when you'd smelt it. The acrid coppery smell of blood hit your nose instantly and every fibre of your being is drawn towards it like a forbidden siren call. Your sisters had moved to your side in an instant, only partially caging you against the kitchen counter you'd been leaning on. It's hard trying to centre yourself and not give into the urges, and it's only what's taking place on the other side of the kitchen that really brings you back to yourself.

Jasper is looking much worse for wear. His senses have honed in on Bella and all of you can tell he's only seconds away from pouncing. Emmett and Edward have their arms around him in an instant, stopping him from beelining towards the injured human but it's clear he's putting up enough of a fight that they'll struggle to restrain him for a long time. You're in front of him in the time it takes Bella to blink, your hands cupping his face gently to keep his eyes on you. Edward had pushed her towards the wall as soon as he'd heard Jasper's thoughts so she's not as close as she was, meaning she only hears fragments of what you're saying to him.

"Hey, hey, Jas it's okay. It's okay. It's just a little blood. Look at me, it's okay yeah?" Your words seem to be having some effect but Bella notes that Emmett and Edward still haven't let Jasper out of their grip. Carlisle appears by her side and she's vaguely aware that he's speaking to her but her eyes are still trained on you and Jasper. Your words seem to be having some kind of effect on him and it sends a small pang through her chest that you have the ability to calm Jasper down even in the face of the strongest temptation when Edward sometime can’t even look at her as a result of his urges.

Her eyes are still trained on the two of you as Esme leads her out of the room to go and find the first aid kit. The last thing she sees is Edward and Emmett letting Jasper go as he collapses in your arms almost bonelessly. His arms wrap around your waist as his head rests on your shoulder, giving you ample chance to press a chaste kiss to the crown of his head.

[purplekiwis]

Summary: It's no secret that as a figure skater, you're fed up with the local hockey team being treated like royalty... and your ex's status as a player isn't helping much either.

Genre: Exes to Lovers (Enemies to Lovers if you blink 😉)

Warnings: it's angsty and smutty

Wordcount: 8K

A/N: ummmmmm holy shit?! you guys really liked this fic 😫 i wasn't expecting this amount of love for this AU at all but your feedback has been making me so happy! i really hope you guys love this last part as well💙

THIS IS A 2 PART SERIES | YOU CAN READ PART 1 HERE ❄️

OTHER WORKS BY ME

You couldn’t resist.

As much as you hated him you couldn't resist. 

You didn't even waste time putting on your pajamas. As soon as you got to your room, you threw yourself on the bed, unzipped your jeans and finished off what Harry had started with the recollections of what he’d said and done to you on repeat inside your head.

And you didn't even feel bad about it as you laid in bed afterwards… motionless, apart from your hand that was still gently touching under your panties, playing around with the wetness as you slowly came down from the high. Honestly, you just felt extremely relieved… and sleepy, you were getting sleepy.

But the more you calmed down, the clearer your ideas became, and something Harry had said stuck with you. That last thing before you left - “now you know what it feels like to be left stranded” what the hell was that supposed to mean?

There was only one thing that you could think of that could fit that narrative, and that was you ending things before he got to take your virginity. As in, you made him wait for months and then just when he was about to get some, you broke things off.

As much as you wanted to believe that was the case and reinforce the concept that he was trash, that didn’t sound like something Harry would hold a grudge on... especially since he could have taken it if he wanted to. He was the one who suggested you’d take things slow. Besides, it wasn't like he had any trouble finding people to fuck with… as you were well aware of.

So why was he upset?

You couldn’t figure it out, nor could you figure out his reasons for doing what he had done earlier. Not the part where he stopped - that part you recognized had been some sort of vendetta.... but why had he kissed you like that? That hadn't been planned. You could tell.

He couldn't possibly be that desperate, could he? He had to be having sex, right? You probably would be if you weren't a virgin and stuck in the ridiculous belief that you should wait for ‘the one’.

Honestly, what a stupid concept.

Months ago you were certain that Harry was ‘the one’ for you and look where that got you.

Luckily though, you never blamed yourself for what happened. It might sound surprising, but it hadn't affected your self-esteem much or made you feel inadequate in any way... If anything, it had only taught you how real people function. Prior to it, you had a very black or white view of how things worked in relationships. Perhaps it was your innocence... but you had always thought that only bad lovers could do bad things.

Turns out that good lovers also can, and good lovers also will.

And no matter how much you try to taint your memory of them with anger and resentment in order to make sense of it all, you won't get to. The memories will always be clear and sweet and full of joy, even when reality isn't.

After what happened between you and Harry, moving forward in life was strangely uncomfortable.

Even though you thought about what happened by the bus all the time, it still didn't feel entirely real, or recent... more like a disturbingly vivid dream, or perhaps an old memory you only recently realized you had.

It didn't help that you hadn't told anyone about it - not even Niall - which was also weird. You felt as if you were keeping something from him, which to be fair… you were. It would have been easier to pretend nothing had happened if he hadn't been there that night, but he was, and obviously noticed how upset you were as soon as you got back in the car.

He still asked about it now and then, which was a little disconcerting and off character for Niall, but it was also the only proof you had that something had happened that night, and you weren’t completely hallucinating it.

In terms of your relationship with Harry, it had reverted to its previous state, which meant you weren’t talking or interacting in any way. You might have caught a glimpse of him at the rink or seen his car parked nearby, but nothing beyond that. He was gone like a ghost, once again, and you were mourning his absence.

But, as strange as it was to return to normalcy after such an unexpected turn of events, it felt good to be back on track.

To put on a costume, cover your face in shimmers, and take on the role of someone who wasn't really you. This girl was cheerful and optimistic; she wasn't depressed because a boy wasn’t in love with her. She had a lover who loved her back and held her tenderly while he danced with her over ice. And even if it only lasted for a short while, you got to share her joy, and felt it pour out of your own chest as the sound of applause took the place of the music...

And then that goddamn whistle blew.

Not just any whistle... but kind you improvise by taking the tips of your fingers to your mouth and blowing. It was familiar, for sounding so completely out of place amid the conventional clapping.

Your head snapped up to face the audience, eyes unapologetically searching for a particular face in the crowd.

Harry’s,

That was his whistling. The one you hadn't gotten to hear in months. The one you never thought you would miss if it wasn't there, but you did... a lot.

Funnily enough, you'd reprimanded him for doing it before, for considering it wasn't appropriate for this type of competition, but he always said he didn't care what other people thought; he'd cheer for his girlfriend regardless and clapping just wasn't his style.

There was no way this could have been him, though...

Harry hadn't attended your championships since your breakup, and you couldn't think of a good enough reason for him to come back now… unless he had come to see someone else, but if he wasn't here for you, why would he be cheering so hard for the competition?

You'd already given up on scanning the crowd as you skated off the ice, but when Niall turned to you and asked, “What’s Styles doing here? Did you invite him?” that stubborn, burning itch was rekindled inside of you.

“No, of course I didn’t invite him.” Your voice was quiet, but it still sounded startled. “Was that really him, are you sure?”

“Yeah, I'm sure… but you can check for yourself if you want. He’s sitting right next to exit B.”

You tried to sneak a peek, but you didn’t get the chance to because as soon as you got close to the border Paul, one of the skating coaches you worked with, came over to discuss your performance. As much as you would have liked that not to be the case, there was no truth in saying that the coach's arrival took your mind off Harry right then and there, but you forced yourself to focus. There were more important things. He wasn't the top priority. He was a baffling enigma.

“Do you think we did well? I got the feeling my landing after the Toe Loop was a little wonky…” You asked, concerned about the ranking. You were pleased with how you had performed in the short program, but the technical errors made during the free skating segment worried you a little.

Niall grunted a laugh in response to your question. “You think yours was bad? How about mine during the Axel? I completely messed it up.”

“We'll work hard to improve those for the next phase of the championship, which I'm still confident you'll be cleared for.” Paul attempted to reassure you before you began hurling more questions at him. He wasn't usually one to try and avoid other people's drama, but he did during championships, since his stress levels were already at an all-time high. “The duo that came before you were technically very good, but they had a big issue with emotional delivery, which is not a problem for you two.”

“Do you really believe that we’re clear then?” asked Niall, who was beginning to look a little more relieved.

“I’d be outraged if not, but let’s wait for the judges' verdict... they’ll announce your score at any moment now. We’ll still have to wait to see how the other pairs do, but I’m not expecting any big surprises.”

Sure enough, not long after Paul finished speaking, you heard what sounded like the beginning of an announcement. “Oh God, I think it’s happening- quick, someone hold my hand.” Niall stepped forward as soon as you asked, and when your scoring sheet came, you both immediately focused on it - scrutinizing all the details of the technical elements and program components of your performance. “Please, please, please, please…oh my- Ahh!!” Your muttering turned into a shriek as Niall’s arms encircled your shoulders in a tight embrace. You both laughed out loud and started jumping up and down as soon as you hugged him back. It was a thrilling moment.

Despite a few technical flaws, you were able to match your score from the previous year, what indicated that you would not only progress to the next phase but most likely also make it to the podium.

“It was well deserved, my dears… bravo!” Paul, who had been peeking at the sheet from behind you, commended with a clap.

“We wouldn’t have done it without you, coach.”

“I appreciate the compliment, but it was your hard work that got you here. I only made a few tweaks here and there.” In all of his extreme campiness, the man grinned broadly and clapped enthusiastically. “Oh, what an amazing effort and outcome! I can't say I'm surprised when you are my favorite skaters to watch… together with the new girl who arrived from Xiamen, of course.”

“Mei?” A flustered Niall asked upon hearing the coach mention the girl he knew well.

“Ah yes, she’s marvelous! I tried to pair her up with Maurice as soon as she got here but sadly, she refused. Said that apart from you Niall, none of the male skaters were at level with her and well, what could I say? She wasn’t wrong.” Niall's flushed cheeks escaped Paul's notice because his attention was drawn somewhere in the back. It was well-off because if it hadn't been, Paul might have had the urge to play cupid. If there was one thing he adored more than teaching, it was putting pairs together, especially when they were actual lovebirds. “Oh no, I believe I just saw one of my students explode into tears...” Despite the way he took his hand to his chest in dramatic fashion, there was a hint of amusement in his voice. “Better go check out the situation over there now… but once again, my darlings… congrats, and good luck!”

“Thanks, coach.” You both spoke as Paul fled the scene. But as soon as the two of you were alone together, Niall turned to you and exclaimed, “Wow, did you hear that? How cool is it that she thinks I'm at level with her?” He grinned to himself like lovesick fool, “Do you think there could be any another meaning to that?”

“I think it means she thinks you’re cute.” That sounded like something one would say if they were interested. “And, has probably fantasized about being your skating partner, which won’t happen because I’m not up for trading you with Maurice either, but you should definitely ask her out.”

“Do you really think so?” You made a gesture as though the answer was obvious. “What should I ask her to do, then? I'm not even sure what options there are. I'm terrible at planning dates.”

“Hmm… she seems a bit competitive, so I imagine she would like something she could beat you at, like bowling or the arcade. But you could also play it safe and take her to the aquarium instead; that's always a win.”

“Oh man, you're really good at this,” He noted down your suggestions on his phone so he wouldn't forget them later. “Oh, and by the way, I didn’t want to switch partners either... you know how gassy I get when I'm nervous for a performance. I can't let her see me like that.”

“Yeah, I know. Don’t remind me.”

Since Niall seemed to be distracted by his thoughts and phone, you took the opportunity to approach the rink's edge and have a look at the benches near exit B.

The sight made your stomach drop.

Harry wasn’t there.

However, there was a vacant seat in the back, suggesting that someone had been sitting there up until recently. You thought he'd stick around until you left...

Your heart had been racing at the prospect of seeing him after the contest was over, but now that he was gone, you were beginning to suspect that you weren't the skater who had enticed him to attend.

That empty seat - it sent your mind into a tailspin and brought back the one reason why you had broken up with that…

Backstabbing traitor.

Honestly, you were furious at your own stupidity for harboring expectations. He didn't care about you. Never had, never would. He only cared about himself.

Niall joined you at the border, leaning against it like you were. “We have to go out tonight to celebrate. I don't even care if we make the top three; the fact that we're sure we'll go to the next phase is enough for me.”

You put on a brave face. “Where were you thinking of going?”

“I don’t know. Somewhere we don’t have to drive to. My goal is to consume enough alcohol to have no memory of how I got home tomorrow morning.”

“Huh uh, and then it's up to me to put up with your drunken gibberish and drag you to bed at the end of the night… got it.”

“Eh, I'm sure I’d make it on my own... it wouldn't be the first time.” He half- shouldered and after a brief moment of silence, offered a suggestion. “I heard there will be a party tonight at the sports bar. It'd be fun to go, but I don't know... there’s a chance the hockey team will be there.”

You took a deep breath in, “I have no problem going if you want... even if they're there. I don't give a damn about them.”

“Seriously? Awesome then! It's going to be fun; you'll see... and there will be other girls there too. I think Natalia will, at least... I saw her posting about it on Facebook.” Niall reported enthusiastically, already animated about the plans. You tried to look lively as well, or at least smile a little.

“Will Mei be there?”

“Oh, I have no idea. I hope not... or yes, I don't even know.”

You forced a smile again, thinking to yourself that that was exactly how you felt about a very, very infuriating player.

It was almost certainly the worst party of the century, and you'd gotten dressed up for it.

There was music playing, but it was at such a low volume that it was completely drowned out by the sound of the television, which was, predictably, broadcasting sports nonstop. An NFL game was currently on, but you weren't even interested enough to bother finding out who was partaking. The whites were pitted against the blues. That was all you needed to know.

You and Niall had taken a seat in a quiet corner, wanting to hold a table in reserve for when the bar started getting crowded. That hadn’t exactly happened, at least not in the way you had anticipated. Several people had arrived, but none of them were especially fascinating to you.

There was an old man drinking alone, three suit-clad men in their 40s, a group made out of six male friends and two supportive girlfriends, a super fan of one of the teams playing who spoke more to the television than everyone else in the room combined, and, interestingly enough, Natalia.

She was the only reason why you stayed instead of going elsewhere.

When she walked into the bar and saw you and Niall, a look of great relief had taken over her entire face. She'd sat down at your table and hadn't gotten up since. Five consecutive beers later, Niall was already slightly boozed up.

Because of your early bird sleep schedule, you guys didn't typically come out for drinks much. As a result, it didn't take long for him to start getting a little drowsy while staring intently at the TV, leaving you to listen to Natalia's ramblings.

That was what you got for choosing soda over something stronger.

She had been telling you about how she’d went there to meet a guy she was casually texting with, but apparently the night had changed his plans and he had ended up going to another bar with his friends.

She still had plans to meet him there until the night was done but was currently pretending to be busy and unconcerned as payback. All he had heard from her in the last 2 hours was that she had ran into some friends and decided to hang out with them a while. “You know… just so he doesn't think I’m that interested,” she had confided to you after taking a sip of her beer.

Speaking of beer, Niall had practically passed out on top of his. He was officially knocked out, and you were going to have to take him home soon. This party was shit, but the mere thought of dragging your well-built friend up the stairs of your apartment was making you want to stay longer.

Fortunately, Natalia offered to help you carry him because she was also going in that direction, and ultimately ended up assisting you in putting him to bed, and using your bathroom as well. On her way out, you offered to walk her to the door, at which point she gave you a once-over and questioned, “Would you like to come to this other party with me?” 

You blew air out of your cheeks. “Ha, thanks but I'm not sure I want to go out again...”

“Oh, okay. It's just….you’ve dressed up so nicely. If I were you, I think I wouldn't resign myself to that lame party we went to. I would have thought it would be a waste of that outfit.” She bounced on her heels. “Just for a little while? It's not far. It's practically right next door.”

“Where is it again?”

“At the other sports bar—I know, it sounds dull—but this one is packed because the hockey team is having a party there.”

You knew which bar she was referring to, and its location wasn't exactly what you considered to be right next door. Sure, it was within walkable distance, but it was getting late. A little too late for a girl to be safe walking by herself outside.

You realized that keeping Natalia company just because you didn’t want her to walk alone was dumb since you would be putting yourself in the same predicament on the way home, but you still felt bad knowing she would be walking by herself there.

Besides, she was right; you deserved to be seen by more people. And, especially by a certain hockey player who had been dumb enough not to appreciate what he had while he had it. The only problem was that, as usual, he wasn't really in the mood for being appreciative.

He was in the mood to be nasty, and his expression made that clear when he didn't look the least bit pleased to see you arrive.

The razor sharp glance he sent your way caused your confidence to dwindle. He didn't want you at this bar, and fortunately for both of you, you weren't in the frame of mind to defy his wishes. As a matter of fact, you had already turned around and exited the same door you had entered through, but then you heard him approach you from behind. “What the fuck are you doing out here alone?” His intervention stopped you in your tracks, but you never turned to face him. He crossed the sidewalk to get to you. “Where’s Niall?”

“In bed.” You responded candidly. “I just came to walk a friend, but don’t worry… I'm already leaving.”

“Alone?”

“Obviously. Unless, of course, you have any intentions of walking home with me, which I doubt.”

“Why would I ever wanna do that?” He asked brusquely, but his voice instantly grew softer when he noticed your dejected grimace. “Would you like me to?”

“Would it make any difference if I did?”

He shrugged. “Maybe.”

“You know what? Fuck you.” God, that felt great to get off your chest. “Seriously, why do you have to act so goddamn cold around me all the time?! It's aggravating!”

He snorted in disbelief. “Fuck me? No, fuck you. It was you who made me in this way! You broke me.” He got closer, until he was practically in your face. “How am I supposed to act Y/N? Tell me, how do you want me to act after what you did to me?”

“After what I've done to you? I was in love with you, you jerk!”

“Why did you break up with me, then?”

It didn't matter that you weren't scared of him, you still weren't immune to the pressure his eyes were putting on you. Your façade was crumbling. “You know why.”

“Cut the shit, Y/N.” He insisted, practically snarling. “You're lying to me, just like you did before. I saw it in your fucking eyes the other day, and I see it right now! Why did you break up with me?”

Harry’s agitating proximity was making you lose your cool. For the first time, you felt compelled to answer the question truthfully, so you did, “Because I found out you were cheating on me.”

His face fell. “What?”

“Don’t play dumb with me, Harry. I saw your dms all right? ‘can't talk right now, gf’s here. i’ll hit you up as soon as she leaves’, does that ring any bells? No? How about ‘nah, we’re fine. she won’t get sus.’?”

“I swear to God, I have no idea what you're talking about.”

“Really? Well then, maybe you forgot the texts, but I'm sure you remember the nudes she sent you, don't you?”

“What nudes?”

“Stop, okay? I saw it with my own eyes! She was sending you disappearing photos. I’m not stupid, Harry- I know what that feature is for! And then you asked for more, from different angles, and when she sent them you were all like ‘wow. those look amazing’… Oh! and of course, my personal favorite, ‘definitely much better than hers lol’.”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“I am talking about a skater who came here in the last competition. The one you were going to meet up with behind my back.” He appeared to be totally lost as his brows were furrowed deeply. “Oh wait, I think I get it now. She wasn't the only one, was she? That’s why you don't remember. You’ve probably lost track.”

“I never cheated on you.” It almost sounded true the way he said it. Shame that you knew he was lying. “I might have talked with a girl or two while we were dating, but never with that purpose in mind and I’ve certainly never made plans to meet any of them.”

Your scoff was loud and clear. “So you want me to believe that it was all a coincidence that after you cancelled our plans that day, I happened to walk into the locker rooms and there was a girl saying she was going to be meeting up with you at the time we were supposed to be hanging out?"

“And you believed her?”

“Why would I not believe her, Harry? She showed me the convo. She showed me your profile. It was you!”

“Hold on, wait- you said she was a skater?”

“Yeah, and-” Unexpectedly, Harry started laughing, as if he thought this was some kind of practical joke that you were playing on him. “What are you laughing about you maniac?”

He kept laughing, but his laughter had become cynical, like he couldn’t believe this could actually be happening. “That bitch. That big fucking bitch…” He wrapped his arms over his head and started pacing aimlessly. “She came up to you and told you that bullshit? How did she even know who you were? ‘Cause I didn’t tell her… wanna know why? Because of this! Because I know how bigmouthed skaters are and I didn't want her to start spreading shit around.”

You crossed your arms. “Oh, so you're admitting to it, then?”

“No!” Harry shouted; a bit louder than he meant to. “I mean yes, I talked to her, but none of what she told you is true.” You rolled your eyes, still not convinced. “I don't get how you believed her though. What, some girl comes up to you like “hey, sorry to break it to you but your boyfriend is a cheater”, and you just believe her? Is that really how little you trusted me? I mean, fuck Y/N…”

“That is not how it happened, asshole.” You responded defensively. “I overheard her talk with her friend, so I butted in on their conversation. I pretended I was just a fan of yours and asked her to give me the scoop. She got all haughty and told me everything, including the juicy bits.”

“What juicy bits? There were no juicy bits…” He brought his fingers to his eyes and rubbed them ferociously. His anguish was evidenced by the tic. “Why didn't you ask me? Couldn't you just make a scene? Slap me? Call me names? I mean, shit… If you had asked me I would have explained myself and all this shit would have been avoided. But no, of course you couldn't just ask. You had to break up with me through a text out of the blue, saying you liked someone else and leave me thinking you were in love with fucking Niall or some shit.”

“You thought I was in love with Niall? Are you actually insane?”

“Is it really so far-fetched? I mean, you two are always together, and when you're skating he's always holding you and touching you and whatnot. I always thought he was a bit too handsy with you, so it wasn't hard to assume...”

“Harry… Niall is my best friend.”

“What are you trying to say, then? That nothing happened between you two? Even in the past few weeks, whenever I would ask you something, you would always be like, “Oh, I was just with Niall doing this or that”. It was like- like you were rubbing it in my face.” You felt glad that Harry was finally speaking up and expressing his feelings, even if his words were still tinged with bitterness. “I went crazy on Tuesday when you told me he was waiting for you in the car. Just the thought of him taking you home and touching you like I used to made me so... resentful, I guess that’d be the best word to describe it. I wanted to get even with you. To make you feel used in the same way I did. To prove to you that I was better and that you had made the wrong choice by picking him. I wanted to give you a taste of what it was like and then take it away. Even worse, I wanted you to feel guilty about cheating on him, without any real gratification to back it up.”

You exhaled in disbelief, shaking your head. “So that's what that thing on Tuesday was about? It was revenge ‘cause you thought I had left you to go be with Niall? Christ, Harry… I never imagined you'd think it was him, much less that you’d care if it was.” You paused, taking a deep breath before telling him the whole truth. “I only said I liked someone ‘cause I thought getting dumped would hit you harder if you felt like you were easy to replace. I didn't want to give you the satisfaction of knowing you had hurt me, so figured if you thought I wasn't that into you, I'd have the upper hand in some way.”

“Fuck, Y/N…You really fucking crushed my heart that day. I've never felt more miserable in my life.”

“It was your fault for having conversations with other girls behind my back. And just to get things straight, even if it was just sexting and you had no intentions of doing anything, that still counts as cheating and it's enough reason for me to be glad I ended things with you.”

“I told you already, I never sexted with her. There was only one reason why we were talking and that was because I was going to buy something for you.”

“What-” You choked momentarily. “What are you referring to?”

“Your coach said you needed to get a replacement for something. Something you didn't want to ask your mom money for because she had just bought you a new outfit for the competition.” You blinked twice, as recollections prior to that day began to flood back to you. “Do you remember now?”

“What, you mean like the new blades for my skates?” There was an urgent expression on Harry's face, as well as a look of impending madness in his eyes. He nodded his head. “What does that have to do with anything?”

“Did you notice her skates?”

“No, not really.” You replied honestly. You supposed that your indescribable rage at the time toward her and your ex-boyfriend might have prevented you from noticing that minor detail, but so what? Why was that relevant?

“She was wearing Riedells, but she used to wear Jacksons, the exact same model you have.”

“Okay…?”

His hands touched your arms as he came closer. “She added me on Instagram, and I saw that she was selling her old skate blades for a good price. She had to get new boots and ended up changing brands, so she opted to get new blades too.” You were a bit baffled, but nevertheless interested in seeing where he was going with this. “The point is she was looking to sell her Jackson blades second-hand, and I was going get them ‘cause they were practically new, and even had that cool purple finish you liked and all that. The so-called nudes you thought she was sending me were actually pictures of her skates because I wanted to make sure everything was in good shape before I bought it.”

His revelation shocked you to your core, leaving you shaking your head in bewilderment. “Why in the world would you do that?”

He locked his wide-eyed gaze on yours, as if the answer should be evident. “‘Cause your crusty, old-ass blades were holding you back! You were off the ice sharpening them every 10 minutes. Everyone could tell. Even your coach kept pointing it out.”

“Yeah but why would you do something like that behind my back?”

“Because you would have thrown a fit if I told you beforehand. You would have never let me get them even if it was a good deal.” He took his phone out of his coat pocket and started fiddling with it as he spoke. “Here. Just for the sake of transparency, I'd like you to read the whole thing. That way you can get rid of any suspicions you might still have.” After some scrolling, he found the old conversation, opened it, passed the phone to your hands and waited.

His body language indicated that he was impatient for you to finish reading, but he gave you some time to do so. “Are you done?” He inquired as soon as you stared at him. Face now dotted in tears from regret upon realizing he was telling the truth.

“I’m sorry, I-” Your tone was broken. The moment after you handed back the phone, you practically collapsed to the ground, shielding your eyes with your hands to try to contain your tears. “I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions based on what that girl told me... she was lying and I- I fell for it like an idiot when I should have known better. You were my boyfriend, and I- I should have given you the benefit of the doubt. I should have confronted you and asked for an explanation instead of just breaking up with you without telling you the real reason why.”

“Baby, hey…” Harry knelt beside you and supported your back, refusing to let you sit on the street floor. “We’ll figure it out, okay? We're talking. There's no need to be sad about it now. Come on, let's sit on a bench or something.” You stood up after saying yes with your head. As Harry sat beside you, his hand clutched yours. He touched it lovingly before and after he began speaking, “I'm really sorry too... for being too proud to question you about it. After your text, I kind of just assumed you had been using me to make Niall jealous and stuff. It made me feel stupid, which is why I didn't initially intervene when our coach messed up your practice. You were right, I could have said something, but as childish as it sounds, I saw that as a way to get back at the two of you.”

“I suppose we were both idiots, right?” You asked, turning your head to face him with a sniffle. “We’ve ruined something good just because we were too scared to speak of it.”

He chuckled briefly, almost painfully. “Yeah, I guess so…” His gaze paused on his feet for a moment before returning to you. “We could still um... try, if you want to.”

You sniffled once more, this time with a glimmer of hope. “Try?”

“Yeah, to get back together. If you wanted to, I can't think of any reason why we shouldn't.”

Your mind wandered for a moment. There was something missing from the proposal. Your heart liked it, but something more was needed. “Do you even like me, or are you saying that just because it feels like the right thing to do?”

“Do I like you? Y/N, I love you.” It was Harry's hands that lifted your face off the floor, so you had to look him in the eyes. Those dazzling, bright green eyes of his. “Do you love me?”

“Yeah, I do, quite a lot…” With a big smile on his face, Harry brought his gaze to your lips, a silent warning of what was coming next. It was a beautiful moment, but the brat in you couldn't resist, “…considering Niall is still unavailable and all…”

Harry's fingers wrapped around your jaw and squeezed your cheeks a little. “Not funny.” His lips touched yours.

Your lips touched his. “A little funny.”

“Don’t upset me.”

“Why?” You nipped his lower lip. “What are you going to do, Harry?”

“It’s dirty...”

“Now I really want to know.”

He flashed a sly smile, then leaned over and touched your ear with his lips. “I’m going to take you home with me and have you make up for all the time you made me go without that mouth.” Your breath caught in your throat as you considered what he had said, and once you finally let it out, it came out as a whimper. His hand squeezed your thigh in response. “Gonna lick you too... make you cum… how does that sound, princess?”

A blur filled the distance between the bar and Harry's rented flat. The only thing you could recall was the warm dampness of his mouth stealing kisses from yours as he took your hand and led you there.

There were also reminiscences of kissing at the front door, in the hallway, on the bedroom wall, and finally on the bed, where you hurriedly undressed one another out of an intense desire to see and touch again.

Harry's eyes were filled with hunger. It was not surprising that a few moments later you were sprawled across the bedding, with a very hungry mouth lapping at the space between your spread-out legs. “You love it when I bury my face in your pussy like this, don’t you? Your thighs are shaking so much…”

“Can you really blame me? You're- ngh, so good.”

“Mmm, baby... when you're this tasty and creamy, it really isn't difficult. I could lick you around here all day…” He gave your pussy a thorough, slow lick, his green eyes fixed on yours. “Maybe I will,”

Holding his hair a little tighter, you let out a panting breath. “I think I'd cum a lot.”

“Mhm, you’d look so cute cumming in my mouth…” He lowered his head once more, this time offering not only his tongue but also some suction. “Are you gonna cum in my mouth, Y/N? Gonna let me lick it all up?” That was his final set of questions before he went down with the intent of not coming back up until he got what he wanted. From there, the rise was quick and easy. Within a minute or so, you were whining loudly and shaking all over.

“Mm-hmm… ah, mm… I'm gonna cum in your mouth. I’m gonna come in your- I’m gonna-” You muttered as you got closer and closer, until finally, that nice, warm feeling swept through your entire body, causing it to writhe on the bed.

Harry still licked you for a while longer, moaning at the taste on his tongue and mumbling something about how hot and wet it was. He was having fun, so you let him have it until your clit started getting tender, at which point he stopped and crawled up to kiss you.

He was being very loving and gentle, but his reproductive system had other ideas. The heat of his erection touched your skin, reminding you that he was probably already experiencing some discomfort from being so horny, so you told him to be still and got on your belly in between his legs.

“Fuck baby…” He moaned, letting his head fall back as soon as he felt your soft lips close around his tip and sucking it into your mouth. “That’s perfect… nice and slow, suck me just like that...”

You did as he said, not that you had other option because you had a sensitive gag reflex. You could never really get your head to sink all that far. As soon as your lips passed the halfway point in the length, you started to choke on it. You were a little self-conscious about it at first, but Harry had never complained. He loved your blowies regardless, and whenever you asked him if he minded, he always argued that what got him most was watching you suck with eagerness, not how far you down could take it.

Meanwhile, you always used your hand to make up for what was missing and tried to maintain eye contact because you knew he liked to look into your eyes - especially when they started to become watery from the effort.

“Yes. Right there, baby… that feels so good.” He praised when you began alternating between sucking and licking the underside of his glans. You could tell he was getting close. The taste of precum in your mouth had grown stronger, and the muscles at the base were starting to get twitchier. “Keep your eyes open, look at me. Shit, so fucking hot.”

You were expecting him to finish, but instead he breathed in deeply and gently guided your head away. “Did it stop feeling good?”

He smiled broadly and caressed your cheek. “No, it was too good, that's why I stopped you.”

“We didn't have to stop; you know I like how it tastes.”

“I know, but I don't want it to end like this; I want to try other stuff.” He explained as he guided your body up onto the bed and into a  laid down position. His proposition intrigued you, despite the fact you didn't really know what he was plotting. He had your trust, even when he placed himself between your legs and opened them wide. “Do you mind if cum over your pussy while I rub up on you? It's more intimate this way.”

“No, I don't mind. It sounds hot.” You replied with a small chuckle, so he drew closer and rubbed his erection on you - collecting the moisture between your lips and continuing to spread it up from your hole. When he struck your clit, you moaned and let out a small “…that feels good.”

“It does, doesn’t it?” His hands held your knees in place while his hips took care of the rest. Harry was right; it felt more intimate like this, especially because your pleasure was being shared rather than taken in turns.

Rubbing up on each other was all you did for some time, until things started to heat up more. Harry re-grabbed his erection, which was growing hotter and harder, and guided it down to your hole. “Don’t panic, I’m not going to push it in.” He warned before you felt his tip nudge your opening, applying just a bit of pressure. “I want you to want me to push it in.”

“God, you’re so hot.” It was impossible not to say it after hearing that sentence come out of his mouth. Especially being aware that his intention wasn't to encourage you to ask right away, but to assure you that he wouldn't do anything unless you wanted him to. He would always respect your limits, no matter how difficult it was for him to refrain from going any further while gently pushing the tip in and out. At times he would groan a little and push a little harder, but then, just when you thought he was about to give in, he would pull out and go back to rubbing around your clit.

“Push it in.” You blurted out suddenly when he was about to do it again. “I can't handle any more of this go, no go situation. It feels really good, but it's driving me insane, and I bet it's driving you insane as well.”

Harry chuckled at your directness. “Yeah, it is a bit. I'm dying to break you in as I’m sure you can tell. I really want to fuck you, but I’ll hold out until-”

“I don't want to wait any longer. We've already waited far too long.”

“Okay, um… if you’re sure you want to...” He smiled and caressed your legs as he spoke. “If we skip on the rubber, is that okay with you? It'll feel better like this… and since it's your first time, I'm guessing you want to know what the real deal feels like. I'll pull out before, so don't worry.”

“Yeah, I think I'd like to know how natural feels first...”

“You'll love it, I'm sure.” He climbed on top of you, seizing the opportunity to love up on you a bit when he felt you place your arms around his back to pull him closer. “I’m going to do the exact same thing we were doing before. The only difference is that this time I'll be pushing to get inside, okay?”

“Yeah, okay.” You nodded, pecking his lips again before saying, “You can go, I’m ready.”

Harry adjusted himself on top of you, getting into position, and then he pushed. Because of the foreplay, he didn't have to press all that hard for you to feel it slip inside. It didn't hurt nearly as much as you presumed. It was only a slight stretching, but it was a really pleasurable fullness. It was like, after all the buildup, your body was relieved to be getting what it had been craving.

Taking one step at a time, Harry’s hips swung back and forth to urge the rest of him inside as well. You were moaning under your breath from his thrusts, even though they were slow and tentative. “Are you alright? Is it hurting?” He asked when he noticed your noises becoming slightly louder.

“No, I'm fine- there’s no pain at all.”

“Good, that's awesome.” He said, clearly pleased with the news. “I'll move slowly at first. As we go, the pace will pick up a little. I promise to be gentle but let me know if you're uncomfortable with anything.”

“Okay but don't worry too much, I'm really enjoying it.”

“What if I do this?” As he asked the question, he moved his hips so that his tip was aligned with the inside spot his fingers always searched for.

“Oh- Mhm, that’s good.” It really was. It felt amazing- to be this close and full and have Harry holding you and grunting right next to your ear, all because your pussy was warm and making him feel good.

He began moving more freely once he sensed you letting go a little more. The sound of his hips slamming into yours was filthy, as were the sobs of pleasure coming from your mouths at every snap. “Fuck baby, you feel incredible around me.” Harry purred, “I'm glad we skipped the condom but being this close to you is driving my dick crazy. You're making it really hard for me not to-”

“It’s okay if you do, I don’t mind.”

You felt Harry’s head shake in response. “You before me.” He stated firmly, like that was an important criterion for him. His lips brushed up against your collarbone, then up to kiss your neck and your ear. “I’ll give you my dick all night if I have to. I don’t care how long it takes- you’ll cum on it.” He changed positions slightly and then, after checking his mouth for spit, lowered his hand and said, “…Perhaps a little extra would help-” before you felt his thumb start rubbing over your clit.

Your reaction was immediate – you twitched on the bed and made an obscene sound. Harry’s hips and thumb sped up in response to your moaning. “That's it, baby. Moan- show me what feels good.”

“Please nghh… I wanna cum, make me cum.”

“Fuck me, your pussy’s perfect.” By how tightly Harry’s other hand gripped your flesh, you could tell he was holding back not to burst. He usually held up well, but the time you guys had spent fondling had clearly affected him as much as it had you - not to mention the extra thrill of trying something new. “Come on baby, let’s go… just focus on the pleasure… think of how full you are-”

A moan and tremor accompanied your positive response to his words. “Mhm, that's me. You're full of me. It’s my dick inside you, making you feel good,” More spit was added to his hand, intensifying the sensations on your clit. “And that’s me here too… you can feel it, can’t you baby? Yeah, I know… do you like when I flick your little clit like that? It’s so wet… I bet it feels so good.”

Your unconscious was gripped by Harry’s words, that were forcing your mind to hone in on exactly what he was saying. “Oh my god,” You sobbed out loud as you began to feel your senses heighten beyond control and then, within mere seconds, your entire body was enveloped in a strong, warm sensation of pleasure all over again.

“Fuck- that’s right, baby. Cum for me- wanna feel you on my- Shit. Oh, fuck-” He pulled out at the last second – grunting as he jerked himself into spurting thick white cream over your clit and his thumb, that was still flicking over it to finish you off. “…Fuck yess.” That was his last growl, uttered once he started rubbing his dick on you again. His hand milked it down to the last drop, letting it sprinkle all over your swollen pussy lips.

Right after he finished, you looked into his eyes, and they were glowing. A big smile engulfed his face as he burst into laughter. His laugh was effervescent and contagious. You couldn't resist the urge to join him since the oxytocin rush was making you want to giggle as well.

“Are you okay?”

“Mhm, I’m okay. I promise.”

“Good, that's what I was most concerned about.” He explained as he stood up. “Let me just get something to clean you up while we unwind, okay? We made quite a mess.”

“Yeah, okay- thank you.” In an instant, Harry left the room and came back carrying a towel that had been soaked in hot water. He sat at your feet and began cleaning you gently. You smiled as you watched him. “Was it good for you?”

He returned your smile. “It was you, so… how could it not be good? It was like, way better than good… but uh, I want to know from your perspective. How did you like it?”

“It was perfect- everything was. Honestly, it couldn’t have been more perfect. I don't think many girls have a first time that’s this nice.” You tensed a little when you saw him inspect your hole; he touched it with his fingers and opened it to look. You had no idea what he was looking for, but you guessed he was just curious to see what had changed. “Am I bleeding?”

“Not that I can see, no. I was a little worried because I thought I might have been too rough. I don’t know, I wasn't planning on doing this today, but it happened and…” He paused, then knelt on the bed and kissed the area between your legs softly. They were appreciative kisses. “I guess I just want to make sure that you're okay and happy with how it went.”

Your fingers stroked his hair as he continued to kiss you. His eyes locked on yours. “I wasn’t expecting it to happen today either, but I'm happy it did, and I’m not saying it just for the sake of saying it. It was really perfect and no, not rough at all. It was really good... and special, like you wanted.” The sparkle in his eyes suggested how pleased he was to hear those words come from your mouth. “I’m really, really happy that it was you.”

“I’m really, really fucking happy that it was me too.”

taglist: @victoria-styles

[esosage]

Just came up with a stobotnik au idea.

Somehow, while still in hideing, stone and robotnik accidently have kids, and now have to learn how to be responsible parents, while hiding and being on the run from the government. Trying to give their kids as much as a normal life as they can (well, normal by their standards which isnt very normal at all,) to varrying degrees of sucsess.

It would be fun to seeing how the kids grow up in a situation like this and discovering that this is infact, not normal. Because i dont think ivo, nor stone would tell them that their parents are wanted criminals.

Like, how would they make freinds? Would they be able to make freinds? And if so, how would robotnik and stone react to them makeing freinds? How would their schooling be handled? How would they feel about moveing all the time? Would they be confused why everyone their age lives in a house, while they live in a giant crab robot? Would they even be allowed to meet new people? And if not, would stone and robotnik eventually cave and let them socialize a bit? Would either of them grow to resent the two?

It also gets more fun when you concider stone and robotniks reaction in realizing: "oh fuck, we're dads now." How would they parent? Would it be good or bad? Would either one grow to resent their kids and pretend they dont exist, or would they try their best for them? How would they house two children in the crab? How would they feed them? How would they clothe them? In trying to steal stiff for them, would they almost get caught by the government? How many close calls have they had trying to care for them? Would they concidering abandoning them? Would they try to abandon them? Or would they accept their new position?

Honestly, it could go a lot of ways. Though if i were to write a fic about it, i'd probobly hone in on robotniks perspective a bit more than stones, since it be neat to see him react to this. I mean he's a terrible person yeah, and i dont think he'd do the best job in raising them, but he's also an orphan. Family has always been a soft spot from his lack of one, and now he's suddenly been thrust into a role he never expected nor wanted to be in.: being a father goes completly against the image he has of himself.

And thats not even mentioning his past trauma with being abandoned, and neglected. I think its quite possible, that in the heat of the moment, (while they're still babies,) he decides he just cant and tries to get rid of them. Chooseing to just hand them off to an orphanage and just be done with it... but, when he really thinks about it, mulls the plan over, he just... he just cant. He's been in an orphanage before, he's been left by his supposed to be caretakers before, and he just... cant bring himself to do it. Thinking about all the hurt he went through in the orphanage, by his supposed "guardians," he just cant subject them to that. Maybe the final nail in the coffin that gets him to turn around and walk home, is them wakeing up. Wakeing up to giggle at him, make grabby hands twards him, to be delighted by his presence. A reaction that nobody but stone has twards him.

Im thinking that stone eventually finds him while he's on his way back (because lets be honest, he would not think to tell stone he's giving them away, he's very bad at communication,) of course the agents freaked out by them suddenly going missing, but calms down a bit once he see's they're safe.

Robotnik would NOT tell stone about the moment he had. he hates talking about his feelings, and talking about what he just tried to do would deffinetly prompt that. So, instead, he makes up some excuse that seems to satisfy stone.

stone would find out later down the line, when the kids have grown up a lot more. Giving some juicy family angst when they seemed to have more firmly settled in their roles. (Also because i like the twist of: "hey! Remember this thing you never thought was going to come back? Well its back!" And to also give robotnik some consequences to his actions.)

Im also thinking that how the kids find out that their parents are criminals, (they never found out because the government covered everything up,) is that when their adults, one of the kids brings home a signifigent other who also happens to be a G.U.N agent! Which robotnik and stone promptly flips out over to varying degrees.

Btw, little side note that i probobly should have brought up earlier, is that the kids are twins. Just for funsies.

[1lostsoul0fishbowl]

In lostys universe, Gare and El are long distance during some of their college years.

Do they ever have any big fights or miscommunication during that period?? Any conversations about what their future together will look like as the years peel away to adulthood? Just curious 🥰♥️

Still loving that greatmage lore 💜🩷

Ohh girl this made me think A LOT. because my first instinct was to be like “noooo my pookies never fight!” but that’s completely unrealistic. So I dug deep and came up with a few ideas… and of course it got really long so I’m putting it under a readmore…

- I think their biggest fights would be about money, but not in the typical way a young couple fights about money! In both Next Time I Fall and Lost and Found I alluded to El and Kali getting large settlements of “hush money” from Hawkins Lab, and at the end of Next Time El even suggests to Gareth that they use some of that money to get married. But it’s the late 80s and I’m sure Hopper had repeatedly impressed upon Gareth the importance of The Man Being The Breadwinner and the need to Properly Take Care Of His Daughter, so Gareth wouldn’t feel right about letting El pay for anything.

Finally El sits both Hopper and Gareth down one day and tells them look, Chrissy helped me find this super cute house and I can easily afford it so I’m gonna buy it. Gareth, you’re welcome to live there with me if you can get over your pride about it. And Dad, you need to mind your own beeswax. (Will taught her that phrase, and he almost chokes trying to hold back his laughter when he hears her repeat it.)

- Another thing I can imagine is the long-distance thing just wearing on both of them (they’re cuddly koalas and they can’t stand being apart for too long) but I could see that manifesting in different ways. For El, I think insecurity would be something she’d struggle with; especially if school interfered with time they wanted to spend together, she would feel neglected and get a little pouty about Gare thinking his work was more important than her. And I can imagine if he got impatient or exasperated about that, her mind would immediately leap to “you don’t love me anymore?” She needs a lot of reassurance after everything she’s been through.

But this, I think, would probably lead to Gareth never wanting to speak up about his own needs or problems, because he does truly want to be that steadfast source of reassurance for her, but also sometimes he feels a little resentful, as if she doesn’t trust him enough to keep loving her even when he’s irritated. And then that makes him wonder if she feels that way because of everything with Mike, and he gets pouty thinking she’s comparing him to Mike. Oh, kiddos.

- I imagined all of this coming to a head one weekend when Gareth wasn’t planning to come home because he was exhausted and had a ton of work to do, but El getting upset with him and kinda giving him a guilt trip about it until finally he gives in and says okay fine I’m coming. But he’s so tired that he ends up falling asleep behind the wheel and getting into a minor accident, which naturally freaks El out, and I think that would lead to a very deep heart-to-heart talk where they both end up resolving to communicate more honestly about their needs, and trust that their relationship can withstand temporary separation when needed.

- On a much happier note, conversations about the future!

I know a lot of people headcanon El as wanting tons of kids, but for some reason I imagine that pregnancy would be total body-horror for her. (Maybe I’m drawing that from my personal life? Lmao) I do believe she’d want a family of her own though, and I think she and Gare would have a lot of conversations about fostering and/or adoption to help troubled kids. And there’s a lovely fic that was gifted to me about the two of them preparing to welcome their first foster child.

I think they’d want pets, too— I imagine them going to an animal shelter just to look around, and El overhearing an employee saying “nobody will ever adopt this one, these dogs are monsters.” She instantly demands to see the monster dog, and of course it’s not a monster at all, it’s the cutest tiny little pit bull puppy, and El and Gare instantly fall in love with her and name her Bosco since she’s chocolate brown. 😊

I think El would have a lot of trouble deciding what she wanted to do after high school, as far as more schooling or a career or what, and they’d have a lot of discussions about that.

And of course they’d talk about traveling— there’s so many places they both want to see, and experiences they want to have for the first time together. Also I think it would be super cute if they went to Wales with Granny and Granddad Emerson to visit relatives and friends there. 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿

This got way longer than I thought it would lmao but thank you so much for asking! I always love sharing my ideas and headcanons with you! 💕

[goldeneyedgirl]

I feel the NEED to talk about how much Deaf Mary Alice means to me because this story doesn't get enough love??? I have so many questions and thoughts and headcanons (headcanon over the fic yes because I can't help myself) Like.......Jasper just created a language to communicate with her?? Try to tell me this isn't the epitome of romanticism. I would very much like to know how were the first days he spent with her in South, the ideia that he let her get so close to him makes me so 😭💝🥰😫 (also this is very funny in my mind. I supposed she didn't know how to read back then so the communication had to be a challenge, especially if the only thing Jasper was used to teach people was murder)

Anon, I am SO happy and excited that you love Deaf Mary-Alice; I have fun writing a version of Mary-Alice that isn't as depressed and miserable. This version of Mary-Alice definitely tries to outrun her trauma and unhappiness and focus on the good.

I've only got notes for their first meeting (Mary-Alice is very much the 'lost kitten' that kind of keeps going to find Jasper over and over again. And all the other soldiers are bewildered by her, because the Major is *terrifying* and they wouldn't even make eye contact with him if they had a choice) because I keep changing my mind. I can't decide if Jasper did try to discipline Mary-Alice like the other newborns, or if he's always a little bit gentle with her.

Anon, I will cheerfully answer any questions about this verse, and squeal over your headcanons. I am always over the moon when people enjoy my weird little Jalice takes.

I've got a little snippet of some of Alice's feelings below, I hope you enjoy it!

deaf mary-alice.

Sometimes, it’s hard. Especially with the Cullens. She’s never really been bothered by the silence, especially with Jasper. It’s never about living in a quiet world - she doesn't remember any different.

It’s always been about not being alone.

But when her words run out, when she doesn’t know how to say what she needs to, the quiet presses down on her. How does she explain everything she needs Jasper to know? That all of the years, all of the darkness and rage and violence that she lived through, are still there - she just chooses to let it go? That she really does understand that she’s the weak-link, the canary in the coal mine, the thing that never should have survived? Jasper left her behind because it was a miracle she had survived her newborn year, let alone the ones that followed - at least he knew that she was surviving in the South. He had no idea if she'd last a day up North.

(That for Maria’s rage and resentment of Jasper’s defection, Alice lived because of the lingering affection and appreciation Maria held for the Major. That if she’d been the companion of any of the other soldiers, she would have been destroyed out of spite. Or maybe cast out and left to die trying to go north. However it might have happened, she wouldn’t be here if Maria hadn’t been truly fond of Jasper in the end.)

Monterrey is a time capsule, and she feels adrift and unanchored, and she’s really not sure of what can fix her. Jasper's grasp upon her doesn’t feel like enough most of the time, like something terrible is going to pull her from his grasp and this possible life will be lost to her.

She’s terrified he’s going to be the one to let go. That for all that she loves him and that he cares for her, it’s not going to be enough. Jasper will heal and want someone he can speak to, who can talk back; a girl who can fucking say “I love you” out loud. Who doesn’t get frustrated and bewildered when their words run out, when she has to take an extra beat to lip-read and decipher which language is being spoken. A girl who doesn’t need a buffer against the world to survive.

That's Mary-Alice’s biggest fear. That in the real world, the Cullen world, she’s not going to be enough for Jasper. That proximity had turned him in her direction, and now she was just faulty stock. She sure as hell doesn’t fit in with the Cullens - she doesn’t know how to be so neat and clean and calm. She doesn’t have the faintest idea how to be more human than she is. She can't even speak their version of sign language right.

But those are her problems. The ones she doesn’t really like to think about unless Jasper’s at school because he always knows how she feels. It’s only when she’s alone that she lets it all out, that crushing terror that she’s never going to be quite good enough.

(Maria wasn’t surprised when she was found in the wreckage of one of her last battles, leg torn off at the hip. Alice had still killed her opponent. But she knows there was a second that Maria considered just leaving her on the field to perish when scouts found her. Maybe even just douse and burn her; Alice had seen Maria do that before. The terror and determination had sat entirely in her throat. Her visions told her this could go either way, and she got to live.)

And yet, she’s still… hopeful. She might be terrified that Jasper is going to be the one to let go, but she’s clinging tightly to him. The room next to his becomes hers, and Jasper is the one that helps her paint it. It takes a day, as she painstakingly hand-paints mock-wallpaper; Jasper daubs her nose with paint, and she retaliates with a swipe of paint across his face. He laughs and kisses her, tracing the words they have for love down her spine. Later, she finds a heart painted on the wall near the window sill with ‘M-A & J.W.’ written on it, and that warms her right down to her toes.

(When she insists on painting all her furniture by hand, Jasper is the one that takes each piece apart for her; he sits with her as she works, a book in one hand, and the other locked in idle conversation about everything and nothing. He admires her work when she’s done, and she feels bashful, not having the words to explain that she wouldn’t bother with any of this if it was just her. This was her trying to build a ‘them’, trying to turn her room into theirs. She can’t offer him much, especially when it comes to tangible things, but she can offer him this.)

Edward tries to speak with her sometimes. He struggles with reading her mind; she thinks in the signs she and Jasper made together, in Civil War-era Spanish read from lips. He struggles even more to speak with her - he speaks text-book perfect American Sign Language, and flawless Spanish, and she speaks neither. Alice is also not entirely literate in either language, so passing notes is out. It’s messy. But he tries, and she’s grateful for the effort, she just wishes Edward wouldn't weaponize her deafness when she’s upset him. She wishes he would translate so she could be friends with Bella, instead of keeping them apart to protect the human girl. She very much wishes he wouldn’t try and correct her so often.

And when he tries to talk about Jasper, about the toxic thoughts that trickle around in her mind, and his efforts come across stunted and insincere.

(It’s easier to believe Edward’s stilted reassurances that Jasper loves her when she realizes that Jasper walks into the house and beelines to her, insisting upon a kiss before anything else. She obliges, and his greetings are hurried and disjointed as he pulls her close. Sometimes those greetings end in shedding clothing, his hands grasping and stroking bare skin; counting scars, tracing the seams on her skin. Other times, he gathers her up and tells her about his day, asks about hers. He’s gotten back into his old habit of signing all his conversations, even if she’s not in the room; the same way he speaks as he talks to her, a rumbling vibration that is uniquely him.)

[caffinatedcastiel]

explodes you

i read your fic (very interesting so far) and you said youd like to talk turtles ‼️ whats your interp of bad future donnie?

Is explodes

Hello there, my first turtle caller. I’m very happy to answer your question (with some information omitted to avoid spoilers for my Leader Future Donnie fic)

Im going to mostly focus on Donnie’s role as leader here- since that is probably where my interp of future Donnie differs from most fanon, but I can go into his interpersonal relationships and other details at another time too if that is of interest.

I like the concept of Donnie taking the lead at the start of the invasion due to Raph and Leo’s conflict that we see at the start of the Rise movie. Raph has learned from the end of the series that their way of life is not just dangerous, but is life-threatening. He’s seen this through Splinter’s memories and the death of Karai. So post-series and pre-movie, he wants to impart that onto Leo so he doesn’t have to learn it the hard way by losing people. Leo sees this as a lack of trust in his abilities and a criticism of his leadership, and gets defensive as a result. They both want to see their family succeed and thrive, but ultimately get in their own way while doing so. They are teenagers, they get insecure about their place. It unfortunately happens to play into a larger conflict they had no knowledge of.

This conflict and strife is what brings the team to fail circa the start of the first Krang invasion. Leo and Raph’s fears both come to light when they lose and resentment has the opportunity to boil over and poison the team’s dynamic. As such- neither are in the right mental or emotional headspace to lead effectively.

Enter Donnie. Donnie already has had a few lessons in leadership without actually taking on the position in the past. We can see this in a few circumstances.

In Donnie’s gifts and Mind Meld, Donnie is doing what he thinks will be best for the team. He gives his brothers technological aid (just as he has given himself with his battle shell) and enhances their mental performance (in a way that is exactly like him, focusing on intellect rather than other points of knowledge). And it doesn’t work because his brothers are not Donnie. He is the brother that probably understands best that trying to get people to do things the way he would, rather than they would, is not the way to lead.

These circumstances also help to expose Donnie to failure. Of the turtles, Donnie has had the ability to fail and recover quite often (Lair Games anyone?). To fail is to be a scientist. It doesn’t paralyze his decision making process as badly as it might with his brothers. He just pivots to find the next thing that could work. (and some things he’s just bad at, but he does anyway!)

Additionally, I headcanon that Donnie is the turtle that came to terms with his and his family’s mortality first out of the brothers. The creation of his battle shell is especially telling here, but a majority of his tech also reflects this. The Turtle Tank having defensive and offensive capabilities, Donnie’s gifts, the Donnie pods… Donnie knows that at any point, something can come around that can hurt his brothers and take them out of his life. So- he chooses to focus on evening the odds rather than despair over the possibility.

I also headcanon this as to why Donnie is less in tune with his mystics at first. Hamato Ninpo is triggered by the desire to protect the family. Donnie’s always been able to protect his family with his tech. It’s only when that fails that he needs to look inward for other options. (Example- Raph unlocks his mystics when he jumps after Leo from Big Mama’s roof. Donnie didn’t need to. He had his tech to protect and catch Mikey). And it still manifests in the way he has protected his family in the past- through manifestations of things he can build.

While this has led him at times to feel that his tech is his best and only contribution to his family, he has also had opportunities to accept that isn’t true. This is especially evident during his time in Witch Town. He failed, seemed discouraged and hopeless about who he is and what he is able to do- but April pulled him out of that. It is just really unlucky that Leo didn’t have that chance as leader. His first major obstacle just happened to be near unbeatable.

End-all-be-all: Donnie understands he can’t do everything himself. He understands that he needs other people to succeed and people have areas of knowledge that he may not understand that will push them to their goal of survival. He’s grown out of his pride to an extent and is able to see how to make up for his weaknesses with other people’s strengths (though his ego still can surface, he is still a kid after all).

These experiences and details all combine into how I see Future Donnie operating. He makes sure people are put into positions where they can thrive and in positions where they can fail safely. He doesn’t want people to get discouraged at their odds, so a structured environment that is built for learning and growth is his focus for regular, non-leadership positions in the resistance. He’s seen how pressure has impacted the people in his family (including himself) and doesn’t want the life threatening and dangerous world they now inhabit to lead to an implosion of panic and hopelessness through any level of his ranks. He knows firsthand that is the best way to lose.

He also employs this logic with his inner circle. Mikey is a particular asset when considering the well-being of people during their day-to-day operations. April’s extensive experience from her many different jobs makes her personable and versatile in assigning positions. Raph and Casey aid in training staff and soldiers and Leo focuses on scouting and recon. (Donnie also makes sure people have a rotation through positions they are good at, positions they like, and positions that they need multiple people to learn. He doesn’t want anyone to feel like they are “just the science guy” or anything of the sort. He feels that the focus on roles in his family did ultimately lead to the divide that got them in this mess).

I like to think that if the Krang were any less unbeatable and Donnie and his family actually had time to prepare in the way they did with the Shredder- Donnie’s leadership would be successful. He got an impossible hand, but also does help queue up their actual success in the movie.

This turned really long- and I apologize if it isn’t exactly the answer you were looking for. But I absolutely love the purple turtle and could keep going on and on if I don’t force myself to stop here. Thanks again for the question ❤️

@docaid

[liberxi]

We will be waiting faithfully, in case you are ready to share three ideas with us…

Alright, since you asked (and since I like talking about my writing way too much haha) I’m going to share some of my thoughts about the future of the 12th grade AU. All of them contradict each other and neither of them will ever be written, so please keep in mind that they are not canon in any way. Every reader’s guess is as valid as mine, so if you decide to read this, don’t let it influence your own headcanon! Also, given the fic this is obvious, but there is a discussion of sexual themes under the cut.

SCENARIO A: The Toxic One

Gerard and Frank actually move in together when they go to college as planned.

Things seem to be better now, because Gerard is more stable being away from his family and the peer pressure of his old friend group.

However, he still relies heavily on outside validation, because he is very insecure, which means he easily jumps on positive attention. It only takes a couple of weeks until he cheats on Frank for the first time.

Frank is obviously heart broken, but we all know that Gerard can be extremely convincing. He doesn’t even try to act remorseful, but tells Frank honestly that he loves him and that the sex with others doesn’t mean anything, which – in a way – is true. He talks Frank into opening their relationship, and Frank agrees, because they just moved in together and all of his plans for the immediate future hinge on Gerard and he is not ready to give up on it, and he knows that what they have is special and he knows that at least Gerard won’t leave him. He also knows that the relationship will be a lot more open on Gerard’s end than on his own.

Their relationship continues and it’s definitely still rocky. Gerard has a hard time fitting in at college, making friends, keeping up with his classes, etc. and he naturally takes his anger out on Frank. He is not as violent anymore though, so Frank accepts that as an improvement.

After a while on campus, Frank actually starts making friends, specifically other queer kids. In a way, he has an easier time fitting in at college than Gerard does and Gerard kind of resents him for it. Frank strikes up his first good friendship with another gay guy and there might be a bit of sexual tension between them, too, and he does his best to keep his friendship secret from Gerard, because he knows even though they are technically open, he will be punished for it. Even if Gerard won’t outright say so, he’ll make Frank feel bad about it and he’ll find other excuses to take his anger out on him.

One day they meet though and Frank is convinced he’ll be punished, but instead Gerard is the most charming motherfucker imaginable. He ends up actually seducing Frank’s friend into a threesome that leaves Frank feeling miserable. Afterwards, he acts all innocent like “I thought you liked him and I was doing you a favour!”, but Frank knows that it’s actually punishment and that Gerard simply won’t allow him to have anything of his own, because he wants Frank to be completely dependent on him.

Later Frank finds out that Gerard has stayed in touch with his friend behind his back and is hurt again, but Gerard immediately breaks it off in a “see, I would do anything for you, I’ll never talk to that guy again only so you’ll feel better!” way.

Frank’s friend actually approaches Frank to inquire about Gerard, because even though they only hooked up briefly, he noticed that Gerard is into power play and he’s worried about Frank. But after the threesome, things are so awkward between them, that Frank can’t be open with him and gets pretty defensive on Gerard’s behalf. Because it’s one thing for him to be critical of Gerard, but he doesn’t feel like anyone else has that right, because they don’t know him the way Frank does.

Frank’s friends start worrying about him more and plan an intervention. Things between him and Gerard have been so tense lately, that Frank is close to breaking down and asking for help, but then Gerard sends him the sweetest, filthiest message and when his friends see it, they conclude that Gerard is actually a lot different around Frank than around anyone else, open and vulnerable and they conclude they don’t have to worry about him. And Frank doesn’t know how to explain that Gerard actually knew exactly what he was doing with that message and that he uses his vulnerability to manipulate, but he can’t say any of that without sounding paranoid.

So he goes home to where Gerard is waiting for him all sweet and welcoming. And Frank realises he will never let him go. He will always give Frank just enough love and tenderness to make it impossible for him to leave, because he needs Frank, because Frank is the only one who can handle him at his worst. And Frank makes his peace with that, because it might not be the love he deserves, but at least it means Gerard will never leave him either.

Now, this story is pretty dark and I trashed it before even finishing the original fic, because I felt like it did not do justice to the character growth they already underwent. What would have interested me in this plot is mostly the interaction with outsiders to a toxic relationship. In 12th grade, Frank is already an outsider without much of a support system to being with and therefore an easy target. So I was interested in exploring the ways in which Gerard would make sure that he would stay isolated as they changed their social environment in college. But again, while I think that is an interesting question, the fic itself already outgrew that scenario.

SCENARIO B: The (Relatively) Healthy One

This one would be set about two years into the future, during which they didn’t stay in touch at all. Frank has gone through a lot of therapy and he has a boyfriend now, with whom he is in a healthy and stable relationship. He has some trouble with intimacy, but his boyfriend is very understanding about it.

Then pretty surprisingly, he runs into Gerard at some art school exhibition one of his friends is participating in. Gerard is rather shy, but Frank immediately pulls him in for a hug. He feels ridiculously relieved to see Gerard and it just feels right to be close to him again and he knows that’s messed up, but it’s like he has become this big scary thing in his past that he kept running from and facing Gerard actually makes him feel safe, because he no longer has to be scared of just that, and it’s all very messy and complicated.

They sneak out for a smoke and have a very honest conversation. Although they haven’t spoken in so long, Frank feels like they still have this thing going on where they can just be open with each other, because they get each other. Gerard asks him honestly if he messed Frank up, because he’s been worried about that all this time. Frank tells him just as honestly that it’s difficult in his relationship, because he tends to get panic attacks, especially during physical intimacy. It’s the first time they actually use words for what happened between them. At the end of 12th grade, they are both able to finally acknowledge the abuse that took place, but they still don’t call it that. This has changed now, at least Frank is more open about it, and although it obviously pains Gerard, he makes a point out of listening, because he owes that much to Frank.

After that, they also reflect on the more positive aspects of their relationship and they talk about their regrets. Frank says that he regrets not telling Gerard that he loved him at a point where he might have said it back and Gerard tells him that he probably wouldn’t have said it back anyway, even though that’s how he felt. He also confesses that he regrets never eating Frank out and Frank gets really flustered by that. Gerard asks if he even likes it and Frank owns up that he doesn’t know because he never tried before and they end up talking about his sex life some more. He admits that part of the problems with his boyfriend are due to his ptsd, but that his boyfriend is pretty vanilla at the same time and that it bothers him. He always liked Gerard’s rough treatment and just because he’s been through some shit doesn’t mean he is unable to decide what he can handle now. Gerard is absolutely scandalised that anyone would have the chance to give it to Frank good and just not do it and that gets Frank even more flustered.

He invites Gerard to a gig he is playing soon, but Gerard tells him that he doesn’t really want to see him. He confesses that he can’t stop thinking about kissing Frank and he doesn’t want to try being his friend when Frank has a good relationship going on and it might just complicate things. Frank is sad, but he has to admit that Gerard has a point, because he is also attracted to him in a way he does simply not feel with his boyfriend.

They part, but a week later, Gerard shows up to his gig anyway. Frank realises how much he has changed. He is no longer the centre of attention in his friend group, but fades into the background and seems more shy, but also a lot calmer in general. He’s actually wearing a skirt to the concert, showing that he’s more comfortable with expressing himself these days and less worried about people’s opinions of him. He tells Frank that he changed his mind and that he did want to support him as a friend and not stay out of his life for selfish reasons.

Frank asks him to come along drinking with his friends and things quickly turn awkward, because they stay so close to each other and clearly have such an intense chemistry that everyone mistakes Gerard for Frank’s boyfriend and Frank constantly has to go “ahaha, no, that’s my ex actually, my boyfriend is over there”.

It’s clear that the situation isn’t feasible in the long run, but they try to become friends. They hang out a lot and tell each other stuff very honestly. Other than Frank, who really craved a stable and supportive relationship after what happened with Gerard, Gerard has decided that he’d be better off on his own. He’s sleeping around occasionally though and tells Frank about it, which basically drives Frank crazy with jealousy and want. He’s so head over heels for Gerard again, that he eventually breaks up with his boyfriend.

He basically just wants to jump Gerard’s bones immediately, but Gerard insists that they take it slow. They actually go on a couple of dates and do the actual dating thing they never got to do in high school when things were so messed up. Eventually, they sleep with each other and it isn’t vanilla at all, but very consensual and Frank finally feels good about what they have.

This one is the healthiest take, since they actually become friends first and learn to communicate instead of trying to solve everything through sex. They also acknowledge everything that went wrong in the past and are both relatively stable, even though it’s clear that Frank has found his footing a bit better at college, where he has picked up music again and build a solid friend circle. Gerard is more at terms with himself, but also more introverted and clearly still depressed. It’s still something that they share though and that makes their relationship so genuine.

SCENARIO C: The Dramatic One

This one follows a three-act structure with 12th Grade being the first part! The second part is set about two years into college and follows a similar premise as Scenario B. They run into each other again after not having had contact in all this time and the attraction is instantly mutual again. Gerard is now in his Black Parade era.

Frank has carved out a nice life for himself at college, build up a friend circle and he is sharing an apartment with Ray, who is not too happy to see Gerard back in his life again. Gerard on the other hand is still quite unstable.

Gerard has gotten heavily into the bdsm scene in the meantime, and he specifically explored his own submissive side more. He’s actually quite hesitant to get back into it with Frank, because he doesn’t trust himself. During their first times together, he gets Frank off, but keeps his own clothes on. Later, they start exploring things more, and especially when Gerard is upset, he asks Frank to hurt him. Their dynamic is definitely different now and Gerard has learned a lot about consent in the meantime. They both switch, but their sex can mostly be described as consensual, but not safe or sane. Ray will often enough come home to noises that make him believe his apartment will one day be an actual murder scene, but he gave up on trying to fix whatever messy thing they have going on.

Whatever it is, their sex life is actually bomb, but that’s pretty much the best thing about their relationship. Gerard is struggling with a serious drinking problem. It doesn’t turn him violent, but often enough, he’ll just pass out next to Frank. He still does that thing where he tries to run away from his problems, he switches courses, projects, friend groups, etc. Sometimes, he will also just disappear for days or even weeks at a time, but Frank has learned to know that he’ll blow up if he doesn’t let him go and he always comes back. They fight a lot and although their fights aren’t violent, neither of them is especially happy in the relationship.

They try to take a desperate road trip together like old times to patch things up, but they have to accept that they aren’t really able to help each other. Gerard gets a scholarship for an art program in a different part of the country and he takes it, running once again and hoping that things will get better elsewhere. They break off all contact.

The third part is set about 10 years after 12th grade. Frank has been in a happy, stable relationship for years and just got engaged to his boyfriend. There is just one problem. That last, desperate road trip he and Gerard took when they were 20 to fix their relationship? Yep, they got hitched in Vegas and never bothered to get a divorce.

Frank now has to explain to his fiancé that he needs to get a divorce first and at first, he is amused. But then he figures who Frank is married to and starts freaking out a little. The thing is, Frank has told him about his first love Gerard and all the good times they had together. He also told him about the abuse he experienced in high school and the messed up relationship he had in college. He had, however, never made it clear that those people were in fact all one and the same. His fiancé is naturally questioning Frank’s sanity, because how could he be so fond of someone who hurt him that badly?

Anyway, Frank is dead set on getting married and leading a happy life with his boyfriend, who is nice and boring and stable. He has no idea how to contact Gerard, who just disappeared from his life, but he manages to get in touch with Mikey, who tells him that Gerard is now living in LA as a comic book artist. He is very nervous about calling Gerard, but he does and it’s surprisingly easy to explain the situation and Gerard doesn’t make it a big deal. He promises to come up to New York soon to sign the papers.

They meet at a diner. Gerard is now in his Danger Days era and Frank is quite honestly blown away, but hey, he is engaged! He hands the papers to Gerard, who is very nonchalant about it and wants to sign them immediately, pointing out how they were just kids and all that, and Frank is hurt that it seems to mean so little to him. So he calls Gerard out on it and asks him to not act that indifferent. Obviously neither of them got the divorce so far, because they were still kind of attached to each other and weren’t able to let go of the last thing connecting them. And Gerard puts down the pen and is like “you are right, Frankie, I do care. Let me meet him at least before I sign, so I can tell you are in good hands”.

Frank is hesitant but also kind of relieved about the delay, so he asks Gerard to come home with him to introduce him to his fiancé. And obviously, this is where things go to shit. Gerard is charming and a flirt and Frank’s fiancé is kind of into him and takes the whole thing a bit too lightly, half joking that they were married after all and that maybe they’d feel better about letting it go if they banged it out one last time. He definitely noticed the tension between Frank and Gerard, but clearly didn’t expect to set off an explosion.

Frank and Gerard start fighting immediately. Frank’s fiancé is shocked, because he doesn’t understand that for them, arguing and violence and sex are weirdly tangled up and he thinks he actually triggered something dangerous. Their fight is really just a struggle for dominance though and Gerard quickly gets the upper hand. They did this so much in college that they easily fall back into it and Frank basically goes under deep pretty much instantly. His fiancé freaks out, because he’s never seen Frank like this before and Frank realises that he put him off by letting him see too much of the “real mess” he is, which he kept hidden from anyone but Gerard in all these years. He has a panic attack that his fiancé also doesn’t know how to deal with. Gerard could easily swoop in and tear up their whole relationship, but instead he gives Frank’s fiancé very clear instructions on how to care for him and leaves before anything serious happens. His fiancé cares for him and calms him down, but he is obviously shaken.

Once Frank has it together again, he finds the signed divorce papers on the table and realises that Gerard has run off once again. He tries to patch things up with his fiancé for another day, but there is obviously something wrong. He wants to break up with Frank, because he realises how much Frank kept hidden from him in their relationship, about his past, about his preferences, all that stuff. His arguments are actually pretty reasonable, but all Frank hears is that his biggest fears have come true, that someone has seen him for who he really is and deemed him too much and unworthy of love.

His fiancé packs his bags and leaves and Frank is absolutely devastated, his mental health going to shit and he knows that he can’t be alone. He calls up Gerard, although he does not expect him to pick up, because disappearing is the one thing he’s good at. He does pick up though and Frank just says “he left me” and Gerard cancels his flight back to LA and shows up on Frank’s doorstep without hesitation.

He moves in without further comment, just getting Frank through the worst of it, making sure he eats and showers occasionally. Frank is convinced he’ll leave after a couple of days, but Gerard only goes home briefly to pick up his art supplies and more clothes and it becomes clear that he will stay as long as Frank needs him to, even though staying too long in one place and with one person isn’t his strong suit.

They just live together, so Frank doesn’t have to be alone. They are not really dating or sleeping with each other for the longest time. It basically mirrors the final part of 12th Grade, where Frank leaves with Gerard without question, because he needs him. And here we finally see Gerard doing the same – staying without question because Frank needs him.

Of course they eventually start having sex again, but it’s slow and weirdly natural. Frank is finally over his heart break enough to talk about it. He tells Gerard how he only ever wanted a family and that boring commitment that Gerard never seemed ready for and that it was more about that sense of safety than about the person, and he thought he finally found it, but apparently, it’s just not meant for him, because he’s too fucked up and doesn’t know how to be happy, etc. And Gerard just tells him that there is no need to get divorced after all and just for the time being, they already are a family.

Frank keeps waiting for the other shoe to drop though, because he knows Gerard and he knows he won’t stay. Eventually, Gerard tells him he has to go back to LA for his job and to his apartment, and Frank braces himself to be left behind. But then Gerard asks him to move with him. His apartment is bigger than Frank’s, he is a studio musician and will get more gigs in LA anyway and there is nothing holding him back. Frank is confused, because asking him to move into his space is very unlike Gerard. It means he’ll give up his retreat, so he won’t have a place to run to anymore, if Frank becomes too much and Gerard tells him that he’s finally done trying to get away.

He also tells Frank “I love you” for the very first time. He never said it during 12th Grade and not during their relationship in college either. Frank points that out and Gerard says “yeah, because the words are a promise and I didn’t want to give it unless I was finally sure I’d be able to keep it”.

They are definitely both fucked up in this and both feel like no one else would ever be able to put up with them, that’s why neither of them got the divorce in the first place. It’s not necessarily healthy, but by the end of it, they have matured enough to finally get more comfort than hurt out of each other’s brokenness.

[hiorintruther]

The scans have been out a few days now so I’m posting this. We just got Hiori’s backstory so let me expel more Hiorin headcanons onto you good people (seriously why are we so delusional abt this ship???) — obviously massive spoiler warning as of chapter 206 of the manga.

Also a cw for child abuse — these hcs pretty much all deal with their trauma:

Hiori and Rin have had a very long, very depressing trauma dump conversation about their families.

Rin has decided to add Hiori’s parents to the ‘I’ll fucking kill them’ list inside his head… which he totally has for no reason in particular…

Hiori likewise understands Rin’s resentment towards Sae deeply and doesn’t blame him at all for feeling so angry and upset.

The fact that the family members they hate are all telling them they aren’t good enough as they are (Sae explicitly, Hiori’s parents implicitly) ends up becoming a means of mutual understanding between them, allowing Hiori to feel a bit safer around Rin and Rin to not hate Hiori like he does the rest of Blue Lock.

Rin has tried to subtly allude to the idea that Hiori can move in with him at any time to get away from his family. Hiori has only half picked up on the signals though because a) Rin is shit at communicating anything nice, and b) Rin’s almost year younger than Hiori so it doesn’t actually make much sense to do that but it’s the thought that counts.

A lot of their conversations take place in the monitor room, in the dark, where they feel safest being vulnerable with each other (aka: see my fic on AO3).

Hiori has used dry, dark humour as a coping mechanism in front of Rin before and Rin has started doing it too occasionally.

So many “lol I hate my family, I hope they die, jk… unless?” jokes.

They end up having a mutual understanding for one another and can almost subconsciously pick up on when something reminds the other of their trauma.

For some more domestic, outside/no Blue Lock hcs (there’s a ton of food-related ones here idk why):

When they make dinner, Rin is sure to mix a healthy, balanced meal with convenience store foods coz Hiori hates eating a very strict diet. It reminds Hiori of the way his parents used to control everything about his life down to what he ate. Sometimes, Rin even makes a separate meal for himself because he wants to calorie count and know exactly what he’s eating, but Hiori’s had a bad day and really needs some instant ramen and pudding.

Hiori doesn’t have a big sweet tooth though, as a result of his parents’ conditioning. He didn’t grow up accustomed to sweet things so he finds anything too sugary difficult to eat (this comes from the egoist Bible where his least favourite food is cotton candy because of the sugar content). His love of salty food however is through the roof and Rin has to remind him to check the sodium contents on the meals he chooses at the convenience store.

Rin has stopped insulting or talking badly about Isagi around Hiori, purely because Hiori feels safe around Isagi. It’s a challenge, and mostly they try to keep Isagi out of their conversations altogether, but if he does come up Rin attempts to be neutral.

Sometimes, Hiori holes himself up in his computer room playing shooters. When that happens, Rin knows to leave him alone until he’s out of his slump, because it’s usually a sign that Hiori is remembering some bad memories. They both like their own space anyway, so it isn’t as if much changes in their routines.

While Hiori’s in a slump, Rin restocks their fridge with energy drinks and instant meals so Hiori can dip in and out to get food when he wants it. He eats alone unless Hiori texts him saying he’ll be out to get food.

Rin also doesn’t bring up anything to Hiori once Hiori re-emerges from his room, letting Hiori come to him if he wants to talk about it. Hiori knows Rin struggles with dealing with trauma, so he usually leaves it.

Once when Rin was having a particularly stressful time, Hiori bought him a whole box of his favourite ice creams (the ones he used to get on the way home from practice) and they had a competition to see who could get the most “winner” sticks. Rin won.

Hiori has also attempted to learn how to cook so he can make Rin food when Rin isn’t feeling up to cooking. Rin says he’ll just order takeout but Hiori insists on trying some of his recipes. How successful he is varies on how easy it is to throw the ingredients in a pan and let them simmer.

When sleeping together, they usually stick to their own sides of the bed but sometimes when Hiori is feeling upset he reaches out to Rin as a comfort. Rin isn’t the best at providing said comfort, but he lets Hiori into his arms in those moments.

On the flip-side, if Rin has been feeling angry or frustrated because of Sae, Hiori will slowly snake his arms around Rin’s torso and hug him close, becoming the big spoon despite being smaller. Rin places his hand over Hiori’s as a reassurance that he feels reassured doing this.

Sometimes, but not always, this nighttime cuddling leads to talking about their pasts. Rin always holds Hiori very close and says that Hiori was never in the wrong and never deserved to go through anything that happened as a result of his parents’ expectations (usually with a lot of colourful language). Hiori likewise will do the same for Rin whenever Sae gets brought up, although he’s less vulgar. His words are somehow even more scathing though.

They both find it easier to open up in the dark. It feels like a safety blanket that can hide their vulnerability, especially for Rin.

[saintsenara]

subluxation is a need and i would like you to talk about it

also please god talk about gardener’s question time. i’m so serious

thank you, pal, for two exemplary choices from the work in progress tag game list!

very funny to me that - having once declared yourself to not be a rare pair girly - you have come out swinging in favour of the two rare pairs on the list. the corruption continues apace...

gardener's question time is the result of a prompt i saw last year for a rare pair fest - which i didn't have the time to dive into at the time but which has stayed gnawing at my brain ever since - for a post-war fic with severus snape/andromeda tonks as the pairing.

and you'd better believe i was intrigued...

we're still in the early stages with this one, but the basic idea is to bring these two together through the complexity of their grief. [cheerful...]

the struggle when writing things in which snape lives is, of course, how you approach the fact that he has been living according to a script which has now ended. for all the implication of canon that dumbledore expected him to survive [why does he tell harry at king's cross that he intended snape to be the true master of the elder wand, if he wasn't planning for his loyal spy to reveal his true loyalties by helping deliver voldemort's final death blow?], snape can be very easily viewed as having presumed - and maybe even hoped? - that he would die in the second war.

how he deals with - for the first time in his life - having no master and having the freedom to choose to live on his own terms is something i think is always interesting to explore.

but i think it's particularly interesting to mash into andromeda's own finished script - the fact that her war has ended so devastatingly, with her husband, daughter, and son-in-law all dead; that she has gone from being a grandmother to teddy's primary caregiver [and the resentments that brings up - as we've talked about before, i'm wedded to the idea that she doesn't really like harry and isn't thrilled that he's teddy's godfather]; and, most thorny of all, that her sister is dead and there is now absolutely no chance of bellatrix seeing the error of her ways and trying to make amends [which, while i loathe the common trope that andromeda and her sisters would reconcile easily, is something i believe it's entirely reasonable for her to have hoped could be possible, even if she recognised it's unlikely it ever would have been.]

snape's post-war relationship with the malfoys - presumably absolutely torpedoed by the reveal that he was a spy - also has parallels with andromeda's post-war reckoning with narcissa.

the title is because andromeda wanting to grow a kitchen garden of medicinal plants [and healing through it! omg, a metaphor!] was the premise which sprang to mind when i came up with this. i may have been watching gardener's world [i'd risk it all for monty don] at the time.

subluxation is obviously something we've talked about a lot, seeing as its development has definitely run alongside percy entering his post-war flop era in beasts.

for the uninitiated, it's - in the main - the story of what percy's year of working for the death eater-controlled ministry during deathly hallows looked like.

i think we've both been struck by the fact that pretty much every fic which deals with this question has percy offering some sort of behind-the-scenes resistance to voldemort's regime - maybe not as flashy as that offered by the order members in his family [although, let's be real, what the order actually does in that year is... debatable], but fundamentally aligned with the goodies against evil.

and, i want to be clear, all of the percy-the-resistance-fighter stories i've read have been amazing. but they've still never managed to shake me from my conviction that he probably... didn't do anything substantive against the regime at all. that he just fucked around and then, as the battle of hogwarts approach, began to find out...

and i am choosing to take 'fucking around' literally...

have a little snippet from this month's chapter:

Audrey's gripping his hand.

Her palm is clammy. His isn’t much better.

She was called back from her day off an hour ago. The Minister’s full support staff is assembled in a row against the wall in Meeting Room J. Biagio is crying. Clarice looks like she’s about to be sick.

Rookwood - Mr Rookwood, they have to call him now - is slithering up and down the line, snapping at anyone with wonky knots in their ties or lint on their robes. The hum of chatter rolls in from the Atrium. It sounds warm, the ordinary murmur of people greeting old friends or needling each other over Quidditch rivalries. The staff from the canteen mingle among them with platters of canapes - the Death Eaters have upped the usual standard of refreshments, but perhaps that’s part of pulling off a coup, Percy wouldn’t know - and champagne. 

Hands are being shaken, and partners and children are being asked after, and holiday plans are being discussed, and absolutely nobody - not a single, solitary member of the great and the good of wizarding Britain - seems shocked to discover that the entire world has been upended in a matter of hours, on this completely ordinary day.

It's this which is so terrifying, that the Minister didn’t see any of this coming, but everyone else did.

Agnes Skim, who presents the six o’clock news on the WWN, kissed Mr Yaxley on both cheeks and asked if he and his wife were still coming over on Sunday. Mr Selwyn was laughing uproariously at a joke told by one of the Wizengamot’s most distinguished members as he showed him to his seat. Half of the Hogwarts governors are milling around the place, making cheerful conversation with mass-murderers. There are representatives present from Gringotts and St Mungo’s and the Diagon Alley Shopkeepers Guild. The Prophet’s chief political correspondent breezed in five minutes ago, gabbing away to Travers - Mr Travers - like he was an old friend.

Which, Percy supposes, he probably is.

The Unspeakables have crawled out of their domain to greet Mr Rookwood like some conquering hero, miraculously returned from a mission all thought doomed. And, out of all the mundane horrors of that afternoon, it is the sight of Mr Croaker - who sends his father a card every Christmas and complimented his mother on her hat at the last staff party - thumping him on the back and saying ‘bloody wonderful to see you, Gus’ and Rookwood saying ‘likewise, Saul’ and Croaker grinning and saying ‘this is quite the event, isn’t it? I hope he’s paying you overtime’ and Rookwood winking at him and saying ‘I shall pretend not to have heard that’ and both of them collapsing into laughter, which makes tears start to slide down Percy’s face.

But not for long. There is no time to panic, because Rookwood clicks his fingers at them and tells them to line up on the dais in the Atrium, as a hundred camera bulbs flash and blind them. Banners are draped everywhere, and while they show the Ministry’s insignia and not the Dark Mark, the fact that so many people are walking around with rolled-up sleeves makes clear that they are one and the same now.

The only comfort, he thinks, the only comfort, is that - as he looks out at the sea of chairs, signs affixed to them reading Avery - Dolohov - Mulciber - Carrow in elegant calligraphy, he doesn't see one labelled The Dark Lord.

A hush falls over the room as Mr Thicknesse, in magnificent burgundy robes, his hair slicked back, displaying his high forehead, steps on to the dais and places a series of notecards on a lectern. It is so quiet you could hear a pin drop. Percy wonders if the hammering of his heart is echoing in the room.

‘Wizards and witches of Britain,’ says Thicknesse, and there is an outbreak of applause. He holds up his hands to still it.

‘Wizards and witches of Britain. My friends.

‘This afternoon, following a special meeting of the electors, in which they voted unanimously in my favour, I was invited by the Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot to accede to the office of Minister for Magic. It was my profound honour to accept the position. I am humbled by your trust in me to steer our great nation through this time of turmoil.’

There is another outbreak of applause, another barrage of camera flashes. And Percy notices that Lestrange is standing at the back of the room, talking to a man who greatly resembles him. Who must, he supposes, be his brother.

‘I have sworn before the court and swear before you now that I will uphold and defend the values - and the dignity - of the Ministry of Magic.’

In the years to come, he will look back and wonder whether he can pinpoint the exact moment when his life changed. If he can unravel a single thread from the tapestry of a hundred thousand ordinary days and follow it back to one pivotal second.

‘But I consider it my duty to go even further. I consider it my duty not only to defend the dignity of the Ministry, but to defend the dignity of magic itself.’

And he will conclude that he can. That he can trace all of it, every single bit of it, back to Rabastan Lestrange leaning forward, and accidentally brushing against Rodolphus Lestrange’s injured shoulder, and Rodolphus wincing - only slightly, but enough to make clear to Percy that he is not a monster at all - and revealing himself to be an ordinary man, who is tired after a long day and who aches.

‘Because are we not tired? Do we not grow weary at the sight of our traditions being torn down and soiled? Do we not feel crushed as more and more of our values are washed away, as the ordinary, hard-working witches and wizards of this country are told that they should be ashamed of themselves for their faith in the might of magic?

‘I will be a Minister for those people. I will be a Minister for those who are proud to be set apart by magic. I will rid them of the filth which pollutes their lives and forces them into compromise and shame.

‘I will bring them something clean and true and refreshing.

‘Something proud.

‘And pure.’

[if you think this speech is copied from succession... you would be one hundred percent correct.]

[desceros]

Hi! I'm the person who was curious about the update! X• i am so sorry for coming out so rudely, i had no malicious intention! I didn't know you had a full time job and had wrists issues :S It was indeed insensitive of me to ask now that i think about it. Take allllll the rest you need, and if the fic is canceled, its totally okay! As long as you are happy and healthy X3

same anon: yesss i'm really happy you're looking after your wrists!!! i'm also glad to hear that your drive to write/post as often as you do comes from Wanting to, and not like.. feeling the pressure to keep entertaining the audience you (deservedly) have, which i think can affect lots of people in fandom who share their creative work and burn them out. tldr very happy you like writing and sharing, as a fan of your work, but even if you stopped i'd be thankful for what you shared anyway! (same anon again) also: ulnar nerve tension buddies 🤝 !! it's rare that i hear about it bc more people talk about carpal tunnel issues.

i suspected that was the case, hence why i didn't block you right away! but i do appreciate your apology nonetheless!

to clarify, i don't mind people telling me they're excited for an update. in fact, that's super awesome! it makes me feel fired up knowing that people are looking forward to stuff. but yeah, asking "when" or "is it cancelled" is. hm. i can only speak for myself, but i find it frustrating since i'm fairly prolific, so having someone ask "when is this going to be updated" when i'm already writing a lot really sucks! but i'm not the universal arbiter of what pisses all authors off. i have heard some authors who say they are motivated by that kind of ask.

i have done the Write For Your Audience thing in the past, and here's the secret: it sucks!! you can't make everyone happy, and you burn out soooo fast trying to pump out enough stuff to keep up with the demand, and you end up resenting both everything you write and the people for whom you write it. so yeah! don't do that. that's my number one tip to people looking to write.

and yes, i don't have carpal tunnel! wrong side of the wrist hahahha. it's all pinky-side, up and down the forearm when it gets particularly gnarly. sucks some big ass titties, let me tell you.

[annab99awritersdream]

Which of your OCs are you most eager for people to get to know?

...and...

Which of your faceclaims is your personal favorite?

Sending love and plenty of creative energy! ❤️

Hi! Believe it or not, this is a very difficult question although I'm very glad you asked it. I love being asked questions about my writings so I'll try my best to provide you with a satisfactory answer. I think I love all of my OCs— some of them are good people while some of them are simply obnoxious — but they all serve a purpose in my story, so it's really hard for me to actively dislike someone and I'm eager for people to get to know them all so that they can make their own decision and maybe pick their own favorite!

-Elarien (faceclaim: Pelin Karahan)

I think my favorite OCs in The Lady of Ithilien are the following characters (I'm also including their faceclaims):

She's showing up in the next upcoming chapter (chapter 4) and she's definitely one of my favorites. Let me tell you a little bit a about her background (if you're reading the fic or are interested in reading it, perhaps you might want to skip this paragraph as it contains spoilers. If you don't care and want to know more regardless, you're very welcome to keep reading 😊).

Elarien is Halbarad's youngest daughter and is one of Elenna's (my main OC) best friends. Well, technically at this point in the story they're getting acquainted and Elarien wants to strike up a friendship with Elenna. Elarien doesn't particularly like being in Minas Tirith and strongly resents Aragorn because she blames him for her father's death. She's confident but not cocky. She never talks down to anyone and is very kind. She's very independent as well.

-Eledhwen (faceclaim: Sarah Bolger)

Eledhwen is Elarien's older sister. At this point in the story she lives in the North (presumably Annúminas, I haven't decided that yet) with her Haradrim husband. After said husband passes away, she joins her sister in Minas Tirith and gets to meet Elenna. She's also confident and determined, but she's less fiery than her younger sister and has a good relationship with Aragorn. That's the main difference between the two, I think.

-Erionwë (faceclaim: William Moseley)

He's the youngest general in the Maiarin army. He worships Eönwë (as he should imo) and has a platonic crush on Elenna. He's really sweet and a bit naïve at times. He'll come to Middle-earth for Eönwë and Elenna's wedding in about ten years time. I think he's my favorite general in terms of likeability (there's three more).

-Silnur (adult faceclaim: Jacob Dudman; I don't know the name of the child actor I picked as I couldn't find it anywhere. I just saw the pic and went "oh, that's him")

He's the youngest Maia in all of Valinor and Eönwë's ward. He adores flowers and making people happy. He's a cute cinnamon roll.

Last but not least... Elenwë's children:

Faceclaims:

Mírion: Louis Partridge

Éowyn: Grace May Oleary

Eglantine: Amelie Child Villiers

Elanorellë: I swear I can't find the name of the actress, but I'll update the post as soon as I find out

Vanya (her full name is actually Vanya Elestellë): again, I looked everywhere but I couldn't find her name. She's from the show Magnificent Century: Kösem (currently binging) and she plays Hanzade Sultan. Unfortunately her name doesn't appear in the cast lists I checked.

Faramir: Çağan Efe Ak

They also have another son (who is not in the edit because it was a late addition). He's born two years after Éowyn and his name is Boromir.

Boromir's faceclaim is Alihan Türkdemir

HE'S SO CUTE!!! He's deserves his own gif.

These are my favorite characters/faceclaims, but as I said, I love all of my OCs!

Thank you for your question!

[witchofhimring]

Maris Baratheon Profile

This is both a character study and my personal headcanons for the character. This is part two of the "Daughters of Borros Baratheon" series. This template will be used in all my upcoming fics unless otherwise specified. I find it hard to write characters who do not have a cemented personality so I decided to make some up.

Space divider provided by:@firefly-graphics

Background and theories:

We do not have as much information regarding Marris as we do Cassandra. The first time we heard of Maris is when Aemond arrives at Storms End. Her introduction is quick but dramatic. She is said to be clever (although it is treated as shrewishness on the book). I suspect that Maris had been unfairly maligned in Fire and Blood. Her sharp tongue was obviously too terrifying for the maesters. Maris is clearly very bold and a touch confrontational. Unfortunately we know little else about a character who could be very interesting. What is interesting is that she alone shows jealousy. Did she feel the rejection more keenly than the rest? Maria’s introduction is made though her father, who tells Aemond if he wants a clever wife she should take Maris. From the way Maris is depicted you get the feeling she is not well liked by the writer. Given this is Fire and Blood, in which sexism is a large theme, I believe this to be another example of women being put down for not being conventional. Maris is essentially blamed for starting the dance. Of course Aemond could not have withstood the taunts of a pre-teen girl 🙄.

Now, if Fire and Blood Maris is younger than in my headcanons. This is partly so that I can enter them into stories and because they are older in the show. A detail that is often overlooked is how Maris is treated as if she were a grown up, despite not even having hit puberty yet. This is implied when Borros says his eldest will be the first to flower. Meaning Cassandra is anywhere from 10-13 is years old. Maris would in that case be even younger. Fire and Blood talks about Maris as if she were a woman grown, and yet it is not acknowledged that she was so young.

Maris ends up being sent to the Silent Sisters. We do not know why this happened. It is speculated that her mother forced this on Maris, however there is no way of truly knowing. Borros was aware of his daughters intelligence and publicly acknowledges it, so perhaps there is pride.

Relationships: (headcanons)

Borros

As a little girl Maris was close to her father. He enjoyed her tenacity and outspoken personality. This changed as Maris grew older and Borros felt that as an older girl she should conform. Bitter, Maris's wit turned to biting insults at the expense of others. Father and daughter drifted away over time so that when he died the two were hardly on speaking terms. Borros was proud of his daughters intelligence, but it is mixed with his belief that girls have a certain role to play.

Elenda

Mother and daughter never got along. Although Elenda's other daughters simply have no true relationship with her, the one between herself and Maris is bad. Maris was always resentful that her mother focused on having sons. The reason Elenda is hard on Maris is because the two are very similar and that bothers her. Eventually Elenda sends her daughter off to the Silent Sisters as punishment. Later on in life Elenda does try to contact her daughter, however the letters were never read.

Cassandra

They are not close but there is little bad blood. Maris was jealous when they were children as Cassandra was the favourite but that changed when Floris was born. Seeing Cassandra feeling rejected by their father she felt a sort of kinship. Despite this the two never became close and when Maris was sent to the Silent Sisters they never saw each other again.

Ellyn

Ellyn is Maris's punching bag. Because her mother is away, father is the lord, Cassandra is off doing her own thing and Floris is the favourite and protected by their father, Ellyn is the target. She often taunts her younger sister and puts her down when the opportunity arises. When Ellyn is betrothed to Prince Aemond Maris becomes very jealous, but by then there is nothing she can do.

Floris

She despises her younger sister the most. Floris is the favourite and is more in line with what a "lady" should be. Borros is protective of his youngest in ways he is not to the others so she is unable to torment Floris. Instead Maris puts distance between the two and hates her from a distance.

Personality: (headcanons)

-When she was little Maris was not unkind, but actually quite friendly. She had the whole world before her and did not mind her mothers neglect. As a second born daughter she had more freedom than Cassandra and used that to pursue her own interests. She would visit the castle maester and read through his books.

-Her cleverness is encouraged when she is little. Life is good and at first she does not hate Ellyn or any of her sisters. But as time goes by things change. Because she is older and not considered pretty, Maris is given a hard time and becomes bitter as the years go by.

-Soon the happy intelligent girl is replaced by a sour young woman who feels neglected and lashes out. Her wit is now not just shown in lessons and debates, but when she desires to put others down.

-Likes bookbinding

-Fondness for the taste of boar

-Like Cassandra she has the Baratheon temper.