#can you tell I’m being deeply paranoid right now lol

[finniestoncrane]

this is going somewhere better in my new house than just the kitchen but it felt nice to move it in!!

i’m feeling very sensitive lately, very paranoid. it’s all because of the move and the transitions and changes, i’ll get past it!! and the things i can’t get past i just have to come to terms with!!

i’ll always be a little bit nervous, i’ll always struggle with rsd, i’ll always worry about what people think about me based on assumptions they’ve made or have been given without getting to know me

but i think i’m a good egg and i try my hardest to approach everything with kindness and make friends or acquaintances where i can, and i’m hoping once this move is over i can keep doing that and getting better every day u-u 💚

[donald4spiderman]

OKAYYY so for the angst request- reader is very paranoid and insecure from past relationships and needs a lot of validation and one day for some reason spencer is in a bad mood (maybe a bad case) and snaps on her and she’s like 😮🙁 and then spencer apologizes later on but she’s just like k lol!! or she can forgive him idk i just like this concept and love how you write angst

YES THIS IS MY KIND OF SHIT

sry this request took so long to do it guy buried in my inbox

TW: fighting uh oh, angst, unhappy ending

-

She’s been paranoid for a long time. Spencer Reid is the best boyfriend in the world, and for the past three months, everything between them has been effortless. But they’ve been dating for so long without some fuck up that she’s starting to anticipate something horrible soon.

Spencer knows about (Y/N)’s issues to a certain extent. She’s always been a guarded person, even before they started dating— always expecting the worse from people, never revealing anything personal, keeping everyone at a distance. This is her first steady relationship in four years, and she can’t help but be worried, even though Spencer’s given her no reason to be.

It’s three am, and she hears shuffling around her bedroom. She instinctively reaches over to wrap her arm around Spencer, but he’s not there.

She opens her eyes slightly to find that he’s slipping on a pair of pants and buttoning up his shirt.

“What’s going on?” She mumbles, her voice thick with sleep.

“I have a case.” He states dryly, obviously irritated that Hotch called him in the middle of the night. “I’ll be gone for a while.”

“Oh.” She sighs, wide awake now. “Do you have any idea when you’ll be back?”

“No,” He scoffs. “That’s the thing about my job— I can’t just tell you exactly when we’ll catch a serial killer. It doesn’t work like that.”

Her usual tender and sweet boyfriend has turned into a snappy, on-edge jerk. They’ve never had an issue surrounding his hectic schedule. She’s always been completely accommodating. It’s strange to see him behave this way.

She’s never seen him like this before, it makes her skin crawl and her smile fade into a dim frown. “I never said it works like that. Why are you acting like this?”

“I don’t know. Maybe it’s because I’m being interrogated at three in the morning by someone who couldn’t possibly understand the complexity and spontaneity of my job? Although, I shouldn’t expect much from a middle-school teacher.”

“Spencer!” She exclaims, sick of his offensive rant. “All I asked is when you’ll be home. Aren’t I allowed to ask when my boyfriend will be home? You don’t have to insult me!”

“I’m not insulting you— you’re just dramatic, (Y/N). I’m tired and you’re trying to fight with me right now and I don’t have the time for it!”

Her hands grip at the air in frustration. “I’m not trying to fight. You’re the one snapping at me. I’m just trying to be a good girlfriend!”

“You’re sure doing a shit job at it.” Spencer bites, the severity of his words washing over him when he sees his girlfriend’s lower lip tremble. She never cries. At least, he’s never seen her cry. It’s a whole new thing for him, and now he feels like a piece of shit. “Baby, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—“

“No.” She interrupts with the point of her finger, inhaling deeply and shoving her sadness deep down inside. “If that’s how you feel, then you are no longer welcome in my home, Spencer.”

“(Y/N), c’mon.” He pleads.

She shakes her head, “No. You don’t get to pretend to be all sad as if you didn’t just berate me for the better half of ten minutes because I asked when you’ll be back home. Well, luckily for you, this is no longer your home. You can go, Spencer. You’re not welcomed into my apartment or my heart if you think you can treat me like that.”

“Are you b-breaking up with me.” Spencer stammers, tears slipping from the whites of his eyes and down to his cheeks.

She nods, lips pursed. “I’ll pack your stuff up once you leave. I’ll drop it off at your place so you don’t have to force yourself to come back here.”

Spencer stands in shock for a solid minute before wordlessly waking out of the bedroom. She hears the jingle of his keys turning in the lock, and finally allows herself to breathe.

It’s so early. (Y/N)’s awake before the birds are, imagining how different things would’ve been if she stayed asleep long enough for him to leave.

[makeste]

Do you think Deku will ever get mad at All-Might for keeping so many secrets from him? Deku has been giving All-Might free passes on things he should have known about like AFO, previous holders of OFA and now that Tomura is Nana's grandson. It feels like AM needs to be held accountable at some point.

I think it’s likely; he’s gotten fairly mad at him about this before, back when All Might hid the truth about his falling-out with Nighteye.

and he’s probably going to feel a bit betrayed at the realization that All Might is still keeping things from him even after this conversation. and it’s not like it’s just small things, either; these are some pretty major things that Deku is still getting blindsided by as a result of All Might’s secrecy. it feels like AM hasn’t really learned his lesson at all and is still Dumbledoring his way through this mentorship.

but the thing is, I can understand All Might’s point of view here as well, and I get why he keeps doing it, even if I don’t agree with it. I’ve been meaning to write a post about this anyway, especially since it ties into the matter of the Fourth OFA User and his quirk, so let’s take a look at All Might’s ever-growing List of Secrets, because there’s a pattern there.

1. OFA

starting with the big one. now obviously Deku is very much in on this particular secret. however it is still a secret from just about everyone else, and it’s probably the one secret that All Might has been the most adamant about keeping, going to increasingly elaborate lengths even as it becomes more and more obvious that all of these efforts are eventually going to prove futile.

the thing is, it’s pretty obvious why he’s been trying so hard to keep the truth of Deku’s quirk hidden. OFA paints a huge target onto Deku’s back, one that would attract notice not just from the villain side, but from the hero side as well. OFA is basically the ultimate prize. it’s probably the most powerful quirk in existence, aside from AFO. and once word gets out that this power can be passed on to literally anyone simply at will, things could start getting very ugly.

Deku would suddenly come under pressure from all sides, with people trying to use and control him (well, I say “people”, but mainly I mean the HPSC sob). that’s if they see him as a useful tool and a weapon in the battle against the League, mind you. but if they decide that he’s not, or that he’s not ready, there would instead be pressure for him to give up OFA to a “worthier” candidate. either way, Deku himself isn’t going to be taken into account. his thoughts, his feelings, what he wants, what he deserves; none of that is going to matter to these people.

and these are the good guys, mind! that’s not even mentioning the villains, who have already destroyed an entire city in pursuit of him. Deku is in a lot of danger now. and so far, Tomura/AFO have been surprisingly honorable in their attempts to get ahold of OFA, in that they’ve been targeting Deku directly. but AFO is a notoriously underhanded guy, and it concerns me that there are a ton of more underhanded methods still on the table for him to try out. because we’ve already established that Deku is notoriously self-sacrificing. I mean literally notorious, as in both his friends and enemies alike have all picked up on this trait and made a note of it. so imagine if Tomura ever decides to take hostages, for instance. “give me OFA or I’ll kill so and so.” then what?? jesus.

so yeah, all in all it’s pretty clear why All Might has been exceedingly careful about keeping OFA a secret even from most of Deku’s allies. this isn’t even getting into the whole U.A. traitor thing as well, but I mean, you get the idea, right? the reason All Might has gone to such lengths to keep OFA a secret is to protect Deku.

2. AFO

and now we get to the first of many things that All Might kept hidden from Deku himself! and these are generally going to be a lot harder to defend. like yeah, you probably should have told this barely-pubescent child that that the quirk you were giving him came prepackaged with a built-in mortal enemy, All Might. might want to actually lead with that part next time.

so why didn’t he tell Deku about AFO? well first of all please understand that I’m not trying to justify this decision, lol; I’m just trying to rationalize it from All Might’s point of view. he was less than six years removed from his fateful battle with AFO in which the both of them were gravely injured. and yes, he said that he believed AFO had died from his wounds; but if he really thought that was true, why didn’t he listen to Nighteye and pass OFA on to someone else back then? why did he stubbornly stay in the field for as long as he could? his actions just don’t line up. if he really thought AFO was dead, you’d think he would have been able to retire in peace, as there wouldn’t have been such a great need for the Symbol anymore.

so honestly, what I’m learning towards here is that he didn’t really believe it, deep down. but once his powers really started to wane, he felt like he had no choice but to pass the quirk on to someone else and just hope for the best. and then, once he met Deku, I think he really started to want to believe it was true. because he empathized with Deku and he saw himself in him, and he wanted to give him that chance. Deku wanted so badly to be a hero, and All Might saw that he had the heart and the spirit of one, and only lacked the physical ability. and there All Might was, with a quirk he could bestow on him that could potentially make his dream come true. he wanted to believe he could do that. he convinced himself that the threat of AFO really was nonexistent -- after all, it had been six years! -- and that it wasn’t a burden he was passing down onto this child anymore, but a gift.

and so he didn’t tell Deku about AFO because he wanted to believe it wasn’t something Deku needed to know. so in this case it wasn’t just Deku he was essentially lying to, but himself as well. so yeah, not the best rationale in the world, but a very human mistake for him to make, and one that once again has its roots in wanting to protect Deku. or more precisely in this case, wanting to protect Deku’s dream. he wanted to believe it was all right for him to hand down this power which he so strongly believed that Deku deserved.

3. the Vestiges

honestly it’s a bit up in the air whether or not this one was really a secret, because All Might genuinely didn’t seem to realize that the Vestiges were conscious inside of OFA. or so he says at any rate. regardless, I’m going to include it in the list because he was definitely acting pretty cagey about the subject back during the sports festival, and I’ve never been fully satisfied with his explanation.

if you ask me? I think one of the reasons why he didn’t want to discuss this more in depth with Deku back then was because he was afraid it might inadvertently lead to some other topics that he wasn’t yet ready to discuss.

the idea of the previous OFA users living on inside the quirk is comforting in some ways, but that’s also a conversation that inevitably leads to the subject of AFO and AFO’s brother just for starters. not to mention Nana, whose death was deeply traumatizing for him and which I don’t think he was emotionally prepared to bring up just yet.

but I think the biggest factor that led to All Might being mum about this was the fact that he himself was included among the Vestiges. because I’m thinking he might have been a bit paranoid about avoiding a conversation like this:

All Might: “hey Midoriya-shounen, I just wanted to let you know that those weird little shadow figures you saw during your fight were the ghosts of the previous users of OFA, who are all living on inside of the quirk. my master once told me, 'even if I die one of these days, we can always meet again inside One for All.' so you know, that’s nice.”

Deku: “huh okay, so you’re telling me I have the souls of eight other people trapped inside my quirk, well that’s pretty trippy but I’m a weird little boy who lives for this kind of wild quirk shit so I’m okay with it! but it’s not like it matters though anyway since you’re still here to guide me haha! it’s not like you have any reason to suspect that might not be the case in the very near future, right?”

All Might: “...right.”

so yeah. once again, the reason for All Might keeping this a secret is because he doesn’t want to burden Deku. spoiler alert, the next two secrets also have the exact same reasoning behind them. in fact I’m just going to go and lump them both together.

4. Sir Nighteye, and 5. Sir Nighteye’s prophecy

so #4 is the one that actually finally set Deku off in the scene I posted earlier lol. and yeah, All Might should have told Deku, especially since it was inevitable that Deku was going to find out anyway. once he learned about Nighteye and All Might’s falling-out, him finding out about the prophecy was a given. and so once again I want to stress that I’m not actually trying to defend All Might’s decision here lol. just trying to relate to it.

anyway but that said, the reason why he didn’t tell Deku is pretty straightforward: he didn’t want to burden Deku with that knowledge. he knows Deku looks up to him. he knows that Deku looks to him for support. and All Might has spent his entire career doing everything he could to be that strong support for everybody, for the entire nation. he wants everyone to feel secure and safe. he wants nothing more than to be able to keep them safe. and it’s so hard, when you have that mindset, to let yourself show weakness and allow the cracks to show and to admit and accept that you can’t protect people from everything, no matter how bad you want to.

how do you tell the kid you’re mentoring, the kid who’s come to depend on you for so much, that there’s a good chance you might not be around much longer? that there’s a good chance he’ll be left to deal with everything all on his own, the same way that you were? how the hell do you even begin to approach that conversation? especially knowing what kind of person Deku is, on top of everything else. for a hero, someone who’s dedicated their whole life to helping and protecting others, nothing is more devastating than being told that something terrible is going to happen, and that no matter what, there is nothing you can do to change that fate. that alone would have been reason enough to not want Deku to know. he didn’t want him to experience that kind of helplessness.

and Deku is still just a kid!! Nighteye, a fully grown man and a hero with years of experience, completely fell apart after that prophecy. meanwhile Deku just started hero school less than a year ago. he’s only sixteen. he is far, far too young to have to deal with all of this. yes, he needed to know, both as a matter of trust and as a matter of practicality. but the fact that he needed to know is pretty fucking cruel on the universe’s part, and I get why All Might was so reluctant to tell him. I get it.

side note!! I feel like it’s worth mentioning that this one is still a secret as far as a certain other person goes. like, I feel that’s pretty noteworthy. pretty much every other person who knows about OFA also knew about Nighteye’s prophecy, including Rat Principal, Recovery Girl, Gran Torino, and Nighteye himself. (although it’s not clear whether or not Naomasa knows, come to think of it. but it’s likely, since All Might probably physically can’t lie to him lol.) and of course, Deku now knows as well.

but aside from Naomasa, there is one other person who’s notably missing from that list.

Kacchan knows about OFA and AFO, but neither All Might nor Deku have told him about the prophecy. even though Katsuki has firmly elbowed his way into the OFA Scooby Squad and knows about all sorts of other things including SIXQUIRKS and the Vestiges and all that jazz, and he’s been helping Deku train and has been included in pretty much everything for months now, he still doesn’t know about this.

and honestly, this might be the one time where I actually agree with All Might’s decision. I say that as someone who loves Katsuki to pieces and very much wants him to find out about this, because I’m mean and because I love angst. but once again, I get it, though. because you probably don’t want to tell the kid who was thinking this...

...that at the time, when you came to save him back at Kamino, you were thinking something like this:

yeah. I’m just saying. I don’t think it does Katsuki much benefit to know that All Might originally went out to Kamino fully expecting that it would be his last battle, and fully prepared to die the horrible death that Nighteye foretold. like, on the one hand there’s definitely an argument to be made that Katsuki should know about the prophecy just so that he’s prepared in case anything does happen, because he would then be the one to have to step up and replace All Might as Deku’s primary support. (and this is something All Might already seems to have been grooming him for in recent months, which is a bit of a red flag as far as All Might’s mortality prospects are concerned, but that’s another discussion for another day.)

but on the other hand, Katsuki is a pretty smart kid. and if and when he does find out about this, there’s a good chance he’s going to connect the dots and realize that Kamino was actually a hell of a lot riskier than All Might ever let on. and there’s close to a 100% chance that he starts blaming himself all over again if he ever learns that. I don’t think it would set him back too much, because he’s made a lot of progress, but I do think that even now it’s still something that he feels a lot of responsibility for. and so really this is just an additional burden that he doesn’t need to be carrying on his shoulders. Deku’s not the only one who’s still just a kid.

anyway! so tl;dr this is yet another case where All Might was keeping something a secret because he didn’t want to burden Deku. and is, in fact, STILL keeping it secret from Katsuki because he doesn’t want to burden him, either. basically just trying to protect both of these kids here.

6. Nana’s relation to Tomura

almost done with the list now! for real though, it’s crazy how many of these there are. how can one man have so many secrets. like seriously, calm the fuck down, All Might.

so! again, Deku should arguably have been told this as soon as it became clear that the responsibility of dealing with AFO and Tomura was going to fall to him. except, I guess, the thing is they didn’t think it was going to fall to him. or at least they hoped it wouldn’t. AFO was in Tartarus, and Naomasa and Gran were planning on hunting down Tomura and the League themselves. and Deku is just a high school kid with an internship. so in an ideal world, he would have never gotten near Tomura, and vice-versa. the adult heroes in BnHA may be inept as fuck, but I’ll give them credit where due: none of them wanted this kind of responsibility to ever fall on any of the kids until they were ready. even during this arc, the kids were all originally assigned to the evacuation teams, and the handful who were on the front lines were there because it was essential to the mission. and even then they pretty much had assigned babysitters (Midnight, Fatgum, etc.) shadowing them the whole time and ready to haul them back out as soon as their tasks were accomplished. like, don’t get me wrong, the child soldiers thing was and is still very fucked up, lol. but they were clearly trying to keep them out of harm’s way.

anyway! and so of course this applies to Deku as well. never mind that he’s All Might’s heir and well on his way to becoming more powerful than anyone could have ever dreamed. he’s still just a teenager. and we don’t send teenagers out to hunt the bad guys. we leave that to the adults, supposedly. and so in these guys’ minds, there really wasn’t any reason to tell Deku about the whole Nana/Tomura connection, because even if it was true, in their minds it’s not really relevant to Deku. they weren’t planning on him and Tomura becoming arch-nemeses. and so it was really just another thing that All Might presumably didn’t want to burden him with at the end of the day. “by the way, Midoriya-shounen, you should know there’s a possibility that Shigaraki Tomura is actually the grandson of my late mentor whom All for One killed.” that’s basically just a very unfun fact that Deku can do absolutely nothing about, except feel bad about it. it doesn’t change the fact that Tomura is still a mass murderer who’s eventually going to have to be captured or killed. so in All Might’s mind there’s really no benefit to telling Deku about any of this.

anyway! and so now finally, last but not least,

7. the Fourth OFA User

so now we finally get to the one secret we don’t actually know yet! OFA IV, and his whole mysterious deal.

All Might, after doing all that research on the previous OFA users and their quirks, suddenly changed his mind at the last second and decided not to tell Deku about this one specific user and his quirk (and notably, his cause of death). why is that?? “I don’t want to speculate and talk about things I’m not sure of...” really?? so you think the better option is for him to be unprepared and to not have any idea of what’s coming, then??

no, seriously. I’m seriously asking that. does All Might, in fact, think that it’s actually a better option for Deku to not know anything about the fourth user than for him to be aware of it. I am genuinely asking that question, because I truly suspect that this might actually be the case.

because, you see, that’s the pattern. if you look at all the other things he’s kept hidden either from Deku, or from others on Deku’s behalf, that’s the one thing they all have in common. he kept them secret in order to protect Deku. either to shelter him from the burden, or to keep him safe from people who might try to do him harm.

so I think it’s safe to say that even though we know absolutely nothing about this particular secret yet, it’s still going to follow that same pattern. All Might isn’t telling Deku about the Fourth yet either because he doesn’t want to burden him with something, or because he thinks there’s some other reason why Deku is better off not knowing.

here are a few other things we can extrapolate here:

All Might’s next line after this is “because I’m worried for him”, so yeah. whatever the reason, he’s trying to protect Deku somehow.

All Might has a history of avoiding truths he’s not ready to face yet, such as AFO still being alive. so even though he says here that he’s “not sure of” whatever it is he found, it’s very possible that he is in fact pretty sure of it, but just doesn’t want to believe it.

the fact that he wrote something down but then crossed it out would seem to support that as well. he says “not yet”, but I’m definitely not convinced that’s actually the case.

whatever this secret about the fourth user is, it’s something All Might isn’t willing to tell Katsuki either, even though Katsuki specifically presses him about it. this makes me think that it’s not just something shady or unpleasant about the fourth user’s past (like him being a villain for instance), because if it was just something like that, I don’t think he’d be so insistent on hiding it from Katsuki as well. and also that wouldn’t explain why he’s keeping the quirk a secret, especially since he knows Deku is going to manifest it at some point.

so my thinking is that it’s not something about the Fourth’s history, but rather something about his quirk. and after all, the Vestige storyline is mainly about the SIXQUIRKS anyway, so that tracks. and so if it is something related to the Fourth’s quirk, and this something also convinced All Might to hide the Fourth’s cause of death, I think the most likely explanation is that something about the Fourth’s quirk ended up killing him, and All Might fears that this quirk could potentially harm or kill Deku as well.

“but if the Fourth’s quirk is potentially dangerous, then wouldn’t it make more sense to tell Deku about it so that he can be prepared?” well, yeah. definitely it would. unless, of course, All Might has somehow concluded that the danger to Deku is actually GREATER if he knows than if he doesn’t know. in other words, the risk of the quirk manifesting with Deku unaware of what it is, is outweighed by the risk of Deku knowing and manifesting it on purpose.

and this, I think, is where the rest of Katsuki’s conversation with All Might in ch 284 comes into play:

All Might has no doubt observed the same thing himself. and so what I’m thinking is that this must be some kind of super high-risk, high-reward quirk that Deku, if he knew about it, would be tempted to use while battling someone like Tomura, even knowing there was a risk of it hurting or even killing him as well. this is Deku, after all. Deku, who takes himself out of the equation. Deku, who is ALREADY pushing himself to extremes with OFA and has been doing so from the start. Deku, who barring a miracle will be lucky to have even 1/10th of the normal function in his arms when this arc is said and done. and that’s just with normal, everyday OFA and Blackwhip and Float. if you were to go and add some sort of super-self-destruct quirk on top of all that?? jesus christ. they’d be picking up the pieces of what was left of him, probably.

so yeah. if this really does turn out to be the case, and the Fourth’s quirk really is a potential suicide quirk? I could absolutely understand why All Might would keep that hidden from him. once again, it’s all about protecting him and keeping him safe.

and it’s problematic though, for sure! and most likely futile just like all of his other secret-keeping efforts have been. at some point he’s just going to have to start trusting Deku to handle this stuff, and letting him know these things. like it or not, he’s not going to be a kid forever, and Destiny is currently being Thrust Upon Him at a fairly alarming rate! pretending like all of these threats will just magically go away all on their own is not it. if you didn’t want peril lusting over him at every corner then you shouldn’t have chosen a motherfucking Shounen Protag as your motherfucking heir, my dude.

anyway! so those are all of my thoughts about All Might and his secrets. I do think Deku is gonna call him out on it again soon, and I think All Might will be apologetic for not telling him about Tomura and Nana, but I don’t know if it will be enough to finally get him to change his ways and reveal everything else. he is an overprotective dad filled with anxiety over his trouble magnet son and his arm-exploding ways, and it’s a tough position for him to be in, knowing that either way there will be pain that Deku can’t avoid. it’s rough. anyways, maybe I’m too soft, but while I don’t necessarily want him to just keep getting free passes on everything, I kind of hope they don’t rake him over the coals too badly for it either. he means well!! he is doing his best. hopefully they can manage to talk it out, sob.

[deniigi]

my supervisor fucked me over with all my other coworkers present. can I request a one shot from you to cheer me up featuring Sammy?

Did I give y’all the fic about the hotpot?

Well if I didn’t, I’m giving it to you now.

Title: hotpot

Summary: Ganke checks the comments for the Blindspot comic daily and there’s this one asshole anon who keeps talking shit about BT.

--

The Blindspot comic went live in the fall and Ganke couldn’t stop checking the hit count every five seconds. All night there had only been ten hits.

He told himself not to be disappointed. The only person who really mattered had read and loved the comic.

Miles said that BT had even forced everyone on the team to read an abridged version of Journey to the West, and had gone as far as to make a quiz to determine everyone’s character.

Miles refused to disclose who he’d gotten.

BT had clearly rigged the game to make himself Sun Wukong and Ganke was proud of him.

That kind of enthusiasm was exactly what he’d been hoping for, anything else now was just icing on the cake.

Even though it would be cool if it wasn’t just BT reading his own comics.

That would be pretty cool, right? Like. If people online all started reading BT’s comic. That would be sort of amazing.

Kind of excellent.

Definitely worthy of an A+ and double pats on the back.

Right?

The hit counter didn’t think so. But hey, five more people had opened the page since last night. That was something, wasn’t it?

 MM: dude why not just ask Sam to tweet out the link?

 How dare you, Miles Morales.

How dare you waltz into this place with logical thought.

GL: I can’t do that. That’s like. Idk. Inflating the views.

MM: okay yeah explain to me how appealing to the person in control of the largest part of his own fandom is inflating the views

GL: I see your logic and I’m banishing it

MM: I’m messaging him

GL: DON’T

MM: too late

MM: he says ‘gimme link’

GL: asdksjsjdks

--

 @blindspot: hi I know y’all can’t get enough of me to the point of asking shockingly invasive questions and for you I say good news! Some amazing folks have gone through the trouble of making a Blindspot comic. it’s good guys check it out [link]

--

 It helped.

A lot.

It helped a lot.

--

 People, on the whole, had great things to say. The panels were screenshotted and tagged and sent all over social media and even though Miles was pretending to be chill and aloof about the whole thing, Ganke could imagine him smiling big and bright and white at his phone non-stop.

Mom and Auntie saw a few of the bits on Twitter and tittered over them in the kitchen like pigeons.

The pride rose like a wave. Ganke kept waiting for the crash.

--

 It came two days later in the form of a comment that read ‘Christ, look at all this fuss. BT is fine. I hate his brother.’

It felt like someone punching the wind out of Ganke’s lungs.

He took comfort in the handful of people who leapt in to shout down the commenter. They emphasized that if the anonymous commenter didn’t like the story or the characters, then they didn’t have to read it and they, especially, didn’t have to say anything about it.

Ganke appreciated those guys. He got the feeling that a lot of the people on there knew that the whole thing had been done but a couple of kids.

Not that Anon cared.

Anon replied to all these comments ‘No, I’m gonna keep reading, thanks. Anyways, the brother is lame. The smart part is cool, but why’s it always gotta be a guy?’

The part that haunted Ganke even after he’d shut his laptop and had gone to stick his head out the window for some big breaths of cleansing air was that Anon was kind of right.

--

 GL: should we have made Guotin’s brother a sister?

MM: no

GL: why not?

MM: cause BT’s always wanted a brother

 Oh.

Okay. Then it was fine?

 MM: yeah man ignore them. it’s chill.

GL: k thanks my ego is huge and fragile

MM: trust me I know

 Asshole. Fine, moving right along.

--

 It didn’t stop. Anon commented on every page. Every. Single. Page.

Ganke didn’t know what to do or say. On the one hand, clearly this person was dedicated and deeply engaged with the comic, on the other hand, they needed a Rude Alert button. Ganke wondered if Ned could code one for them and them only.

The latest of their fury was directed at the big reveal in the second issue—BT’s face.

Having now met Sam, BT, Blindspot, Ganke’s whole image of him had changed.

He was not conventionally attractive as far as like, K-Pop idols and famous Chinese dudes went. His eyes were puffy and narrow and his face was round everywhere but the jaw. He leaned more towards ‘cute’ than ‘sexy,’ which Ganke sort of loved about him.

He was friendly. Stressed and grumpy and feisty as hell, yeah, but first and foremost friendly.

Miles claimed that he called it his ‘number one asset in employability.’ Which was wild because hello, Blindspot.

Obviously, BT couldn’t help his face. But Miles and Ganke could help Guotin’s.

Ganke had sent Miles about fifteen different images of Chinese celebrities and had told him to do his worst. They’d reviewed the final few drafts and had picked one that was most like a young Chen Kun. His face was more oval-shaped than BT’s. His chin and lips were slimmer but more defined. He was pretty, but not so pretty as to be called ‘feminine,’ which Ganke thought was a solid compromise between ‘handsome as sin’ and ‘looks like he’s got a quirky sense of humor.’

Anon hated him.

Anon thought that he looked like an idol, and they were not here for it.

They told ‘the artist’ to give him a mole or something, anything to make him look ‘less pristine. God, I can smell him from here and he smells like Dior and staph habitat.’

Ganke had to look up what a staph infection was. He regretted it. He asked Miles if they should censor Anon.

Miles said ‘mmmmm, idk it’s not like they aren’t saying anything that isn’t true.’

Ganke resented that. Clearly this was defamation of BT. This person hated him and was taking their feeling out on the comic.

 MM: I mean yeah but it’s not like they’re talking about the comic, man. They’re talking about the style and like, thinking about it, a mole or smth to help you tell him apart from other folks would kind of be helpful. Like, especially if we ever put him in a crowd, you know?

 HHHHHH.

Fine.

Anon could stay. But they were on thin ice.

--

 It was hard not to be bitter about Anon’s comments, especially when they arrived daily, as though Anon knew exactly what they were doing and which page they’d left off at. They couldn’t possibly be reading the comic one page at a time, this was intentional.

Ganke’s jaw hurt from all the tooth grinding he’d endured as of late.

This latest one read ‘yo, has BT ever mentioned fighting with a sword? I don’t recall him mentioning. Someone should take that thing away from him before someone loses an eye—or maybe even two.’

That felt like a pointed jibe.

That turned the churning irritation in Ganke’s gut into something much, much colder.

Did Anon know about BT’s black and blue eyes? How could they know? Was it a coincidence? It seemed to be more than a coincidence.

The pile of critiques was growing bigger and bigger, and now that Ganke thought about it, they all seemed to take issue with things that didn’t match the real Blindspot’s personality.

It was as if they knew him.

 GL: miles did you read the new comment from AnonTheAsshole?

MM: lol yeah

GL: tell me if I’m talking out my ass or whatever but like

GL: you don’t think they could be Muse, could they?

 Silence.

 MM: oh no

 Yeah. Fuck.

 MM: chances are low.

GL: they know so much tho??

MM: might be stalker? Maybe someone who’s over-invested in BT’s social media pages?

GL: maybe.

MM: hold on let me ask Spidey to screen it

GL: does he know Muse?

MM: no, but he’s paranoid and he’ll get Wade to be paranoid with him, and then they can decide whether its worth giving to DD for verification. He knows Muse.

 Ganke’s head was spinning. His fingers shook with guilt and the thought of Muse’s pale body hunched over a secret, cracked cell phone in a high security prison who knew where.

In Ganke’s head, he smiled wider and wider, until the skin on his cheeks cracked. He dug out scraps of paper and redrew Blindspot—Sam—with gaping holes for eyes and a screaming mouth and he drew dismembered corpses in black lakes and he laughed.

He just kept laughing.

 MM: hey ganke

MM: it’s going to be okay. It’s just a comic. I’m sure AnonTheAsshole is a stalker. They’re not threatening anyone.

MM: Sam can deal with a stalker. And we can too, okay?

 There was a reason that Miles was a hero. Ganke wiped at his eyes and swallowed.

 GL: okay. Thanks for doing that.

MM: 👍🏾

--

 It took a few hours because Spidey and Deadpool had lives outside of being Spidey and Deadpool, but not so long that Ganke ran out of nails to chew.

Miles messaged him back and said that Spidey had read through everything and ‘escalated it.’ This meant that whatever he’d seen had caused him enough concern to take it to DP.

Miles said that he’d get back to Ganke with DP’s verdict as soon as he had it. In the meantime, he’d run the comments by the other Spideypeople and they thought that it most likely wasn’t malevolent but was maybe something to keep an eye on in the meantime. He tacked onto all, somewhat stiltedly, that he had a weird feeling all of the sudden. The pink Spidey’s tone had changed. She’d shut down and gone cagey, which allegedly wasn’t like her at all. Then she’d told the taller guy to DM her and they’d vanished from the chat. Miles wasn’t sure what was going on there or if maybe they knew something about stuff going on that he didn’t, but he wasn’t super comfortable with it.

 GL: crossing my fingers its nothing?

MM: same man, same.

--

 DP escalated it.

Ganke couldn’t stay still in his room. There was no comfortable place to sit or stand or lay. There was nothing to do that would make him stop thinking about everything.

 MM: It’s gonna be fine, man, DD always knows what to do.

 Miles kept saying that for every step of the way, and yet here they were. Double escalated. Ganke wasn’t so sure he even knew what was happening anymore.

That was scary. Miles was supposed to be part of the in-crowd.

 MM: Wade doesn’t think it’s anything that can’t be nipped in the bud.

 That was easy for a contract assassin to say, wasn’t it?

 MM: he says that you and I are fine. Doesn’t see any links there. Waiting on DD for confirmation of tone.

 Hurry up, Daredevil. Your apprentice’s life might be about to take a nosedive into a heap of trash.

--

 Two hours. One text.

 MM: >:/

 Ganke couldn’t contain the bubble of laughter.

 GL: good news?

MM: [image]

 He opened it.

 SC: HANNAH YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE. STOP BEING A BITCH ON MAIN

HC: You can’t tell me what to do

SC: I CAN

HC: Mom he’s being MEAN

SC: Mom she’s scaring children online

HC: I scare children everywhere I go why are these ones special???

SC: Because I said so

HC: that doesn’t fucking work Samuel you’re not her

SC: I am your older brother

SC: your ELDEST brother

HC: YOU AINT SHIT

SC: THEY DON’T COUNT

SC: HALFSIES COUNT

 What.

 MM: so.

MM: she’s not Muse.

MM: Red’s laughing his ass off at all of us for taking this to a level three

GL: wait I don’t understand

MM: Hannah is Sam’s little sister. She’s found a new hobby in our website.

 Blindspot’s little sister was reading the comic??? Holy shit.

 GL: she hates him?

MM: no I’ve been informed that they would literally commit murder for each other but this is how they express love.

 No way. Siblings were wild.

 GL: so we’re good?

MM: [image]

  SC: apologize 🔪

HC: eat my ass

SC: apologize or else

HC: or else what? You gonna come in here and sit on me? Huh? Huh????

SC: I know your email password. All 3 you cycle through. What was his name? Uuuuuuuuuh Jing?

HC: you fucking bastard

SC: Hi Jing, it’s me, Hannah. I’ve been in mad crush with you since sophomore year. Please notice me senpai 😖

HC: Die

SC: kill me

HC: I will.

 The giggles that came this time were a mix of relief and genuine intrigue. This lady read the comic every day. She took the time to scroll through pictures of her brother being an absolute lunatic and fighting with a huge monkey. Then she hopped into that comment box and took him—not Miles, not Ganke, specifically Blindspot--down a peg.

She must miss him a lot. Ganke wondered if this was her way of keeping him in her thoughts.

 MM: I don’t think we’re getting a sorry, man. DD says Sam’s been at this all morning and has been tricked into apologizing himself twice

GL: so you’re saying that she’s an evil genius

MM: idk but she’s def Sam’s main nemesis. I always thought that older siblings got like, rights or something over younger ones, but idk anymore. Angel says this is normal.

GL: do you think she misses him?

 Miles took a long time to respond.

 MM: yeah

 Yeah, Ganke thought so, too.

 GL: should we change Guo tin’s brother’s name to ‘hamish?’

MM: ASDLDSDSFKdsjf

MM: one moment.

MM: sam says yes. Hannah says that she thinks our comic is shit and we need to draw everything uglier

GL: she’s kind of funny

MM: 👀perhaps she would like to be a consultant?

GL: 👀👀👀👀

MM: brb asking

MM: sam says no. Hannah says she’s got better things to do than proofread comics on the internet. She’s also not sorry. She wants that to be clear. DD says that the conversation has moved from English to Chinese and to maybe duck and cover for now. He says all is good tho. Thanks for checking in.

MM: Muse doesn’t use punctuation and talks in riddles, so if we get any of that, we’re supposed to send it to DP right away.

 Oh, nice. That was a relief.

 MM: oh

MM: sam wants to put us in a chat. Can I give him your number?

 Uh, only if he wanted Ganke to hyperventilate.

 GL: sure

 --

  [GL has been added to a Secure Chat]

 It was a page of characters and emojis that were somehow more menacing than Ganke had ever seen them before. Miles popped a little waving hand into the fray, as though testing the waters, but the characters just carried on scrawling around it.

Ganke wasn’t quite sure what to do.

 GL: hi? Are y’all okay?

 There was finally a pause. Then a few shorter lines of characters. And then finally, Blindspot switched from Chinese to English.

 SC: yes we’re FINE. We’re GREAT. Aren’t we, sibling from hell?

HC: who’re you? Why are you in our family chat? This is a family only zone, can’t you read?

SC: God Hannah he’s Korean don’t be a dick

HC: I can’t not be I learned it from you

SC: fair but pretend in the face of company

HC: okay fine. Hello losers.

MM: adksadfadsdfldfsldf

MM: hi

GL: hi?

SC: go on

HC: UGH

HC: fine

HC: I didn’t mean to shit talk your creation. Only my brother.

SC: also a sin, we’ll get to that later

HC: no one cares about you Samuel, stop spreading lies

SC: you first. We both know this is no lie, my white dad cares about me a whole lot

HC: well we can’t all have white dads now can we

SC: don’t be jealous

MM: lol you really call Matt your white dad??

HC: who is this person and how do they know our mutual parent’s name?

SC: this is not a mutual parent situation how many times have we been through this. He’s mine. Get your own.

MM: hi! 👋🏾I’m Bitsy! Spidey no. 4

GL: I’m his friend. He draws the comic. I write it.

HC: oh. nerd children x2

HC: anyways yeah Matt is our dad

SC: ffs

MM: he’s sort of dadly ig.

HC: ?? oho

SC: mind your face. Think about your face. Think about how much you like your face.

HC: little spider, did you not hear?

SC: kay everyone out. We’re done here

MM: hear what?

HC: lol Sammy you didn’t tell them about how Matthew Mcconaughey adopted you in all ways but paperwork?

 Ganke held his phone away from his face as far as it would go.

 MM: …wait are you for real?

SC: no. okay out.

HC: awwww Sammy so shy now. What are you embarrassed about? It’s cute.

SC: Hannah literally shut up I’m not playing

HC: damn okay sorry

MM: can I be honest?

SC: no

MM: I’m going to be anyways: I think we all sorta knew.

SC: …

HC: right?

SC: what does that even mean?

MM: idk, it just felt right, you know? You two are always fussing at each other and red lost his shit that time you got shot. He doesn’t treat you the way he treats the rest of us and we’re his teammates. He doesn’t even treat spidey like he treats you. So like, yeah. It fits.

MM: I’m really happy for you guys.

MM: is there a reason it’s a secret?

 Ganke eased himself back down onto the mattress. This was real. This was like, actual, real information. Something that he and like, four other people in the world now knew.

He kind of wanted to forget it. It didn’t feel right to know.

 SC: I dunno.

HC: if sam has an honest emotion towards anything he has to calculate its weight so he can make space for it in his collection of satellites.

MM: wh

SC: you’re so not funny.

HC: it’s called emotional repression, darling. It’s all the rage in this family.  

MM: oh

MM: so that’s why you and Red get on so well

SC: HHHHHHH

HC: HA

SC: okay but listen his is different, I’ve only seen him cry at his wedding. I cry at least 4 times a week. Obviously under the bed, but that can’t be emotional repression. That’s expression. That’s clearly expression

HC: I can make the old man cry watch me

SC: please don’t I’ll die

MM: awwwww

SC: shut up it doesn’t even matter.

MM: AWWWWWW

SC: LEAVE ALREADY

MM: no I like it here. I want to hear you talk about how much you love your white dad

SC: I don’t. He loves me. I’m fine with this because it results in food, shelter, and continued employment.

HC: uh huh

SC: I’m using him

HC: yeah because you’re like the most manipulative person I know.

SC: thank you

HC: /sarcasm

SC: I know I ignored it.

MM: so wait why do you actually pretend like you hate him tho?

SC: wh

SC: what the fuck am I supposed to do? Just go on up for a cuddle? Have you met Matt? The second someone starts crying, he finds trash to take out to the bins. Hell no. Life is easier for everyone if I stab him with a stick and he kicks my ass in training. It’s fine.

HC: Sam is learning how to be a Manly Man. This is step one.

SC: I’m plenty manly

HC: you’re what mom imagined as manly

SC: which is perfect. That’s all I need.

HC: mama’s boy

SC: must suck to suck, no one’s kid.

 Wow. Ganke had never been more glad that he didn’t have a sister.

 GL: That’s kind of cool, though.

GL: that you and DD are close like that I mean.

GL: Its different from all the other mentor/mentee superheroes we see who like, sort of hate each other.

SC: wh

SC: OH. you mean Peter and Kate. Peter doesn’t actually hate Stark, fyi. And Kate calls Hawkeye the Old bi-weekly to make sure he’s still breathing. It’s actually pretty normal.

MM: he doesn’t mean like that Sam. I mean, like those guys don’t associate with their Olds now that they’re grown up and stuff, but you and DD stick together. It’s like you’re family.

MM: and that’s super cool. Idk if Spidey would ever consider me family. I don’t think he wants that for us.

SC: I?

SC: oh shit

HC: CLARITY ON THIS FINE DAY. What was your name again, tiny spider?

MM: miles

HC: PRAISE BE TO MILES

HC: AN EMOTION WAS HAD

SC: get fucked

HC: An epiphany was obtained!

SC: would you shut up

HC: Something has finally permeated that non-porous, two-inch thick skull of my esteemed eldest brother

SC: I’m your only brother

HC: you’re not

SC: they don’t fucking count

HC: now will you FINALLY invite our mutual dad to hotpot?

SC: Hannah he doesn’t want to come to hot pot we’ve talked about this. it’s too spicy for him.

HC: I’ll make it 1/3 less spicy

SC: that’s still too spicy

HC: I’ll make it 2/5 less spicy

SC: 3/5

HC: listen

HC: I have all this fucking equipment that SOMEONE left here callously

MM: what’s hotpot?

SC: 👀

HC: 👀

GL: 👀

SC: well fuck

HC: EYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

GL: have we never taken you with us for hotpot???

MM: no?? is this the sticks?

HC: can be. Where do you live?

SC: Hannah no

HC: Hannah yes. We’ll make one here. You’ll make one there.

SC: do you know how much shit I’ll have to buy? Where are we gonna put it?

HC: this wouldn’t be a problem if you’d taken your goddamn inheritance with you to SF

SC: HHHHHH

MM: you guys are actually being serious?

HC: I am. I am here all on my lonesome. Abandoned by my only kin. I require enrichment.

SC: try doing your fucking homework

HC: did anyone hear something?

MM: lololololol I like you

HC: 😊

SC: wh

SC: oh no. No no no.

SC: you two don’t get to be friends

HC: come here bb pspspspspspsps

MM: I’m here

HC: got ‘im. Let’s have hotpot. Sammy send me resippy. We’ll do it together over video so I don’t fuck it up.

SC: I’ve got to go. This has been traumatizing.

HC: byeeeeeeeeeeee

HC: is he gone? Hell yeah, he’s gone.

HC: hey thanks for making that comic thing. It’s hella rad. He loves it. Mom used to call him Monkey when he was little.

GL: omg aw

HC: ikr? P cute. He misses her a lot so I think it brought back good memories. Anyways, I’m actually going to make hotpot. Come over and have some with me, it’s more fun with more people.

MM: you’re not joking

HC: nope, it’s been ages since your whole team has gotten together, right? Ask them to do it. I’m a shit cook, but Sam’ll show us how not to screw it up. And he’s playin’, he’s totally down to hang out with us. We never had more than three people. It’ll be new. Exciting. Enriching even.

MM: are you secretly a nice person, Hannah?

HC: the fuck do you mean ‘secret’??? I’m a delight.

MM: Okay I’ll ask the team and my mom

MM: ganke?

HC: 👀

 That—

Sounded kind of nice?

 GL: I’ll ask my mom.

HC: nice. You can tell them that it’s a friends dinner or whatever. Idc. I promise I’m not going to kidnap and murder you. I’ve got like, class and work and shit. I don’t have time for that.

MM: 👍🏾

GL: 👍🏼

HC: great here I’ll message you my number. This is legit our sibs chat so Sam’ll freak if you’re still here when he gets back.

MM: thank you! And sorry for thinking you were muse!!

GL: yeah that too

HC: lol np ttyl                                    

 That…had really just happened, hadn’t it?

Ganke needed to sit down even though he was already sitting down.

 GL: they’re so nice???

MM: ikr?

GL: are you actually going to ask your mom?

MM: Im gonna ask BT if its cool first. Then yeah. Why not? Our team really hasn’t gotten together in a minute. Everyone’s been super busy. It would be a nice change of pace, and if everyone brings smth then Hannah doesn’t have to pay for anything.

MM: ah, Sam says it’s okay. He says sorry his sister is weird and that he’ll make sure she doesn’t poison us.

GL: I kind of love her

MM: same

MM: okay will check in with the others. Talk to you later.

GL: yeah see you later

 Damn, at this rate, Ganke’s family was going to triple in size, and all thanks to a comic.

Before he left for downstairs, he made a note to make Guo tin’s brother snarkier.

[papers4me]

Fruits Basket, Se03, ep10 (part 1)

“ What to do? & how to do it? the answer & the method are so simple, so simple but difficult as hell. it was hard for me to get them, & that’s exactly why I treasure them/ makes them valuable”. kyo~ This is my favorite quote in all anime.

How many times a domestic abuse victim was told just leave this abusive partner? report them? easy. just make a call. Report your abusive parents? tell someone. easy. Just speak up. It is true. It is easy but difficult as hell. To believe it is your right to fight. No, to believe you deserve to fight. to Live. This abuse is not a punishment you must endure. Hope is not dead. How simple yet so difficult to do that. ugh! my heart!

- Seeing Death vs Facing Death: ( The abuser who was stopped):

Abuse is a form of slow death. An actual intentional murder of an innocent soul. Abusers suck the life out of their victims & kyo’s biological dad is the poster monster for that. His appearance:

thin deathly demeanor, lack of nourishment, excessive drinking, lack of desire get out of the abyss, wide eyes, tiny pupils, manic laughter. shaky body movement. pathetic outlook at things.

heavy breathing, lack of logic & distorted facts, blurry speech, bizarre mentality, toxic behavior, tendency to hurt, injure, both physically & verbally.

inability to grasp reality, desire for inflecting pain on others, finding joy in that as it justifies his entire toxic mentality.

Fear of being hurt like he hurt others & being paranoid since he KNOWS he should receive punishment.

Kyo stood watching this man spit, rage, shake, scream. The man from his past, the authoritative figure in his early tender years, the person who must always be right: a parent. Facing his dad, Kyo’s entire gradual change was fantastic:

Kyo went from feeling utter fear from this man, hatred towards him, grief at the loss of a father & a mother, to force himself to stand his ground & not leave” easy but difficult as hell“ , to talk ” easy but difficult as hell“ , to announce that isnt gonna die ” easy but difficult as hell“ to say I’m loved & I want to to be with someone ” easy but difficult as hell”

to then realize the source of his mom’s misery isnt him after all, but this jerk! & not crumble at this realization ” easy but difficult as hell“ to grief over his mom’s tragic life & still announce again that he’s anit throwing his life away ” easy but difficult as hell“ to still look at his dad with pity rather than immense hate & anger ” easy but difficult as hell“ to remove his hand & leave him behind in the past while he moves forward ” easy but difficult as hell“ to say “ i’ll come visit again, cuz I anit afraid of you anymore, I’m not running, but I’ll try to extend a hand if you wanna do the same one day. It is your choice to be the abuser who must be stopped or the one who is atoned! you can choose, dad! We heard his choice as kyo was leaving, didn’t we? locking himself in an eternal cage that he made for himself. After all, he is the monster in his own story by his own choice.

-Seeing death (1): Kyo watching his mom’s suicide is a traumatic experience especially considering she chose such a graphic way to exist this world. Kyo once said to tohru “ mom went flying”, he now said“ mom threw her life away” very graphic ways to explain her death both literally & figuratively. This alone coupled with his father accusing him, resulted in a 4 year old screaming” I’mma yuki & kill myself, this would make you happy, dad”. This explains kyo’s 2 meetings with yuki as kids“ I hate you” at the sohma estate, the 2nd meeting “ I hate you” at the street. Mimicking the toxic behavior of the dad. Why didn’t kyo mimic kazuma? cuz trauma doesn't work like that. Kids can live safely for time then one traumatic experience shatter their self-worth into an endless cycle of self-hurt, low self worth & anger issues or withdrawal. The writing that set kyo/yuki against each other is perfect.

-Seeing death (2): Kyo watching kyoko’s death hammers all the insecurities of child kyo deep down into teenage kyo. Kyoko too, went flying, blood everywhere. too much pain happening again, crashing hope & killing his fighting spirit over & over. Be with tohru? why? to kill her, too?

-Seeing death (3): Kyo watching tohru’s injured body. Yup. You caused this. not by pushing her or failing to catch her. No. but by hurting her with harsh words. by forcing her away from you.

-Facing death (1): Kyo facing his dad, the symbol of deadly-abuse. To stand & announce to live is huge. -Facing death (2): refuse death: being caged till death, -Facing death (3): To say, I wanna be loved & love someone, life is not just being outside, heck! kyo was outside for 17 years! life is abt being with those who give it meaning! -Facing death (4): To not demand others to die as a punishment. Walking away from his dad without igniting the cycle of revenge & hate. ahhhhhhhhhh~~~  Chef’s kiss!

-Seeing eye to eye: ( I don’t need to be you, but I appreciate you):

Kyo & yuki toxic relationship has been ongoing since their birth. The moment kyo’s dad was dismayed that he got the cat of all zodiac & the moment yuki’s mom was delighted she got the rat of all zodiacs. From that moment it became: look how lucky the rat parents? You shamed me? Look how pitiful that cat? eww! stay away from his filth. The explosive nature of kyo’s tragic fate tainted him with the blood of his mom & the daggers of his father’s hateful words, while the nature of yuki’s sheltered & locked fate tainted him with fear & isolation. They meet & both carry out the feelings of rejection & hate all while envying the other. The toxic nature of their relationship consist of fights & condensing words. Tohru connected both. Through her, they became civil. Even talking abt perverted shigure. Now that she is hurt, they are lost without her. Their lives are empty.

Yuki’s “ kyo has his own pain & reasons”  (to not see tohru) is my fave line! even better than all the epic lines after they confess their feelings. cuz this like happened before they connect. it shows that, I see his pain, I get he has his reasons. But whatever issues he have shouldn’t hurt tohru. this is when yuki interferes in kyo’s choices. For tohru. This is also when kyo really allows him to. For tohru. Had tohru nor be part of the fight, kyo wouldn’t even engage in it & yuki wouldn’t initiate it.

-“I wanted to be you!” : Kyo said it first. I loved this so much! Cuz kyo said I hate you first! it is so fulfilling that the truth is now out. From kyo first. Cuz really... that hate was all toxic inheritance from a toxic father & a toxic system.

- “Why do you have to say it firs!” Yuki was mad, cuz he was struggling with it for the longest time. to be kyo. He even mused on how kyo interacted with ppl in school, got himself his own mini kyo. lol. studied how kyo filled tohru’s world just by existing. yuki can't do that for tohru. he looked for someone whom he could do that for! yuki/machi scene at her house paralleled kyo/tohru scene at her room when she was sick (se01, e023) & when they eating the somen together (se02, e02), yuki/machi chalk scene paralleled kyo/tohru scene at the beach where he coaxed tohru to tell her mom’s story (se02, e07). Yuki really was having a hard time finding his true self & accepting it without needing to learn from kyo. It is hard to say “ i admired you” after being rejected by you! so kyo saying it first helped yuki say his after. Also, both boys were hella shocked they admire each other. Like both were deeply shocked! stupid boys! XD

Side Notes:

Kyo’s confrontation with his dad is furuba’s most powerful scene & most well-written one! From the fear of facing him, to talking to him with low voice, to physically stopping him, to the exposed last piece of locked memory abt the mother, to the freedom gained by walking forward! Heck, even how it was weaved psychologically to perfectly mimic children’s self-defense mechanisms & children copying their parents theme. The realistic depiction of abusers both in their most powerfully menacing moment & in their weakest cowardly moment. Top-tier writing! Hands down my fave furuba scene! Can’t ask for better! Can’t even imagine better! genius- writing Takaya-san!

The boys had a necessary fight & confrontation & the yuki’s entire speech was valid & perfect speech. However, as usual, I’m not a fan of how violence is depicted in furuba. I was actually “warned/ ordered” by an anon to not “ sh*t” on the boys fight scene. I don’t know why someone who’d read my reviews would think i’d have anything but love for both boys. I criticize the writing not the characters. Also, furuba fans have always been good to me, I state my opinion frankly & they talk to me! “ talk!”. You don’t have to throw virtual fists over different perspectives on fiction. Talking kindly does magic, also having different opinions is natural & normal for humans.

I love yuki so much, he’s one of my top faves in furuba & I get why the boys would quarrel & throw fists. I get the history between them, the current state of mind, their emotions & mentality & I get it’s fiction & drama that needs its “ OMG” moment. However, I cringe when I see violence used as a bonding moment in fiction in general. That’s just me. I wish the fight was done in a more artistic style without showing that scene where yuki corned kyo & punched him in full view of the screen. (again not hating on yuki nor the fact that they needed to fight). I’m jus saying I didn't need to see a one-sided beat up from a character I love to another one I love. That’s just me again~ feel free to enjoy this moment to its fullest. It’s fiction & I’m not judging anyone at all, nor hating anyone from real life or fiction <3<3<3.

Yuki’s last piece of character development is in my part 2 review! Along with machi. Also, yuki’s Japanese VA was awesome!!

Also, let yuki have deep various facial expressions!!!! ugh! In the fight scene they did yuki so dirty with his hair covering his eyes all the time! then followed by low quality shots of him breathing! Why?! The voice acting sold the entire excellent emotional rage more than the animation! Yuki can look pretty even when mad, heck! screw looking pretty! just give him deep facial expressions to mach his feelings! boy was hella mad like he never was his entire life! always forced to wear a mask or be diplomatic! now he’s screaming his lungs out, you hide his face??? really?? Sigh~ the anime always do this wit yuki, replace facial expressions with hair on eyes or having his eyes without light. I wanna see them expressive eyebrows so bad!!!

Another powerful VA performance was both kyo’s dad VAs! both the Japanese (with his excessive breathing) & the English VA (with his range). They sold the mad abusive character! they gave me chills!

Also, I sound like a broken record, but kyo’s both VAs did phenomenon in the dad’s scene & tohru’s scene. Honestly, I only watch the dub to hear Jerry! I learned his name & would watch the dub for him!

Akito, Arisa, Kureno in part 2 of my review as well.

Shigure/yuki returning home scene is call back to ep1. Ok, everybody loves a call back scene & the full circle thingy. but C’mon! you dont have to copy everything! the walk, the scenery, its purpose, dialogue & all! The anime really took advantage of kyo being missing. XD

Tohru’s dress/top color matches the color of kyo’s old hat (The hat). symbolic of him finding her? As if he did find her when they were children? cool. I love this detail. But i do NOT love this color on tohru at all !! lol. it is so dull on her. The dress style/ design mimics her same dress in se01, ep26 as she was talking to kazuma & kyo fought him. Their first intimate moment after nearly loosing the other. Heck! tohru was even hurt on her hand as well. but the color was a nice pastel yellow. It suited tohru. The hat’s bluish-greenish color matches tohru’s own pajama at home!!!! & kureno’s hospital pajama! T_T... why couldn't the hat be red!!!! a color that both represent kyo & yuki! both were compared to red before~ oh well~~ minor issue~

[karajaynetoday]

you got soul girl, don't let no man take none | calum hood

Hello friends! I’m trying to do a little bit of writing every day or so to get my creative muscles back in shape, so here’s a short Calum piece inspired by The Thundamentals’ cover of Brother by Matt Corby (the italics in the blurb are lyrics from the cover). I’m a little unsure about this one and I feel like maybe the plot jumps around too much, but let me know what  you think :) It’s angsty yet again because maybe I can’t write anything else lol who knows! 

More writing here | send feedback/thoughts/suggestions here

Word count: 964

Warnings: mention of domestic violence (not very graphic), implied cheating and the word c*nt (lol)

(This is a fem reader insert)

And you can see it in his eyes yeah,

And I can tell you've thought about it,

Give me an idea,

From the stories that i hear,

Of course you doubt him,

The breeze outside makes you shiver as you sit alone on the park bench. The sun is shining, but the warmth doesn’t reach you like it usually would. Your daughter shrieked with delight as Calum pushed her on the swings, giddily chanting to go higher and higher and higher.

At first glance, Calum was a friend of your brother’s from school that you hadn’t seen in years, until you saw his friendly face at your neighbour’s pool party, and then you ran into each other in the park one day while he was walking his dog, and ever since it had become a routine sanctuary of sorts. Calum didn’t ask too many questions, and he never complained about how tiring your daughter could be.

He’d met your daughter’s father at the neighbourhood gathering, and they’d crossed paths here and there. It was all friendly enough, and you never thought for a moment that things could be misconstrued, but after you came home from time in the park one day, your daughter couldn’t stop talking about how much she’d had with Calum, and how excited she was to go back to the park, that her father had lost it and thrown a mug against the wall in the kitchen, yelling about how she was his daughter and he was her father and wasn’t that enough for you. At first, you’d been too in shock to react, but your daughter’s cries brought you back to reality as you rushed her out of the room. He’d left that night, but returned a few days later looking guiltier than ever before and begging for forgiveness. 

Safe to say that now he's underneath your skin,

While you cower in the corner with no power left within,

But you're his lover,

Even though you know he'll never love ya,

You suffer just being his insignificant other,

You’d fallen for the promises, for the empty words, for the guarantee that things would get better. It all felt like normal again, until he started coming home late, or not at all. You brushed it off, because in your head your daughter needed her father, and surely you were just being paranoid. And then one day you were downtown on your way to the movie theatre (because Calum had begged you to go and see Frozen 2, his treat) when you saw them, cosied up in a cafe across the street, arms and legs and lips intertwined. You want to vomit and run away and scream and yell but your daughter is tugging on your hand because she’s seen Calum up ahead and she wants to walk faster to get there. You give in and move away, closing your eyes and breathing deeply, but once you reach Calum you can’t help but look back behind you to make sure you saw what you think you did. You thought Calum was too engaged in listening to your daughter’s babbling, but then you meet his eyes and you know he’s seen it too. A curt shake of your head cuts him off before he can say anything to you, and you head into the cinema without another word. 

It's a tragic way to end it,

But if he can't even pay attention,

And if he can't even make the effort,

It's way too late to save

A few days pass before you see Calum again, in the park as usual. Your daughter happily plays with Duke in the grass because the swings are occupied, and Calum takes a seat beside you on the bench. 

“Did you confront him?” He asks, gazing at you cautiously. 

You shake your head and swallow nervously. Calum scoffs, and turns his body and clasps your hands firmly in his.

“I know you love him, and you want him to be there for her, but you can’t let him treat you like this. You don’t deserve to be treated like this. If he thinks he can act like a cunt and still keep you, then what kind of parent and partner do you think he’s going to be for the rest of your life? And your daughter’s life?” It was the first time you’d seen Calum get so vocal about his frustrations. 

“What am I supposed to do, Cal? Kick him out of the house that HE owns? Run away with HIS daughter and make her suffer because he can’t keep it in his pants? Who’s going to deal with us and all this goddamn baggage? Who’s going to love us?” You snap, pulling your knees up to your chest and tugging your hands out of Calum’s grasp. 

“Anyone who can’t make you two the number one priority in their life doesn’t deserve to have you. It’s not going to be easy but it’s not fair on you to suffer through it either. You know your mum will let you stay, or you can move in with me, or you can buy a fucking caravan and travel the country - but you know you deserve better, love.” Calum’s tone was softer this time, as he ducked his head to meet your gaze. 

He was right, and you knew it, but that didn’t make it easy. You took a deep breath and nodded, and Calum squeezed your hand reassuringly. Then you felt the warmth from the sun despite the chill of the breeze, and this time you felt it in your soul. 

It’s a cold world no man's safe from,

You got soul girl,

Don't let no man take none

More writing here | send feedback/thoughts/suggestions here

[mercury-minded]

Message from Your Spirit Guides - Pick A Card 🔮

When setting this reading up, I asked my own guides how many cards and groups I should utilize: “6 and 6” - when I double checked the meaning of angel number 66, I was not surprised! This is a powerful number symbolizing unconditional love and trust in the Divine. This is no coincidence - they want you to know they are right there with you! Using your intuition, pick a card (left to right: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6) and see what else your spirit guides wish to tell you ✨

Group 1

There is quite a bit of air energy emanating from this group! Your guides are recognizing and acknowledging your feelings of stress and being overwhelmed. You seem to not only carry your own burdens but take on other people’s problems as well. You have a lot of drive and passion but your guides warn that even someone like you can get worn out. They’re really reminding you that you don’t have to do everything alone. There’s a lot of pressure that you put on yourself, you may feel like you often have to defend your choices and you hate to ask others for help. You’ve set the bar so high for yourself…don’t be afraid of making mistakes and being human. For some of you, this lifetime may be one of the first times you’re having a “human” incarnation. It’s important that you find “home” here, and become comfortable in your own skin. There’s a compromise to be found in regards to using your intuition and logic, don’t be entirely dependent on one or the other. Utilizing both will help transform you from the Page to the Queen: someone capable, independent, perceptive, and sensible. One last thing I’m picking up is your guides admiration for your fighting, strong-willed nature, and your free-spirited, idealistic tendencies. They don’t want to see you lose that!

Group 2

A very active heart chakra was something I noticed about this group right away, along with a strong fire and jupiter influence (so sagittarius especially!). You have so much to offer but are you giving it to those who really deserve it? Your spirit guides are emphasizing travel to me(for some of you this may be literal). Whether it’s getting out of the house, out of town, out of a relationship, or out of a career, they are stressing to me that better opportunities may lie elsewhere. Currently, you may be very drawn to someone/something…you have such a strong belief in them/it that it’s like you’re giving them/it your power! Is what/who you’re so drawn to worth it? Your guides are really giving me the sense that getting away or letting this thing go is really going to free you of expectations. There is freedom, patience, healing, and peace of mind to be gained when you move on. You aren’t going to feel so tied down or constrained by other people’s opinions. Breaking free of this illusion you’ve found yourself in is going to allow you to identify and follow a path better suited for you. Something else that is standing out to me is 44 - this angel number signifies that your guides are close to you and trying to communicate…they want to encourage and reassure you that you’re not alone on this journey. 

Group 3

Holy cups! I would not be surprised if some of you have a strong water influence, or a connection to water in general. This spread is really indicating to me that your guides are preparing you to wake the hell up, essentially. There seems to be a lot of untapped spiritual potential that they want to introduce to you. The rainbow symbolism is pretty evident here as well - a reminder of the beauty and mysticism that can be found after periods of unrest and darkness. I’m really sensing that whatever bad times you were going through are soon coming to an end. A new beginning with creativity, love, and generosity are waiting for you. Your guides insist that whatever it is that is bringing you joy or making you happy: keep pursuing it, keep focusing on that. The money/abundance is sure to follow. Your guides are also reassuring you that it’s okay to feel naive, inexperienced, or unprepared right now. They want you to allow your curiosity and intuition to guide you. Being fluid, adaptable, and open to change is paramount for you - just relax and keep going. This spread also speaks to completing a cycle - and in this case, I’m getting that it’s in regards to your emotional nature. Your guides admire how deeply you feel things, but they also want to help you control and manage this…a certain level of emotional maturity and understanding is to be found at the end of this particular cycle.

Group 4

Something I’m getting hit with right away is your feeling of hurt. Your guides are trying to help you see that feeling trapped by your negative memories is a choice. Yes, you were let down (perhaps repeatedly) and/or deceived by someone/something, but you have it in you to start over. There is the possibility of new love/opportunity in the future, but you have to allow yourself to seize it. Your guides are also really stressing that the universe is on your side - it wants to help you create the reality you desire. Find a way to utilize what you’ve experienced and gone through without letting those feelings hold you back. Balance those memories with what you hope to achieve. The message I keep getting is that “it’s been broken, but not beyond repair”. You survived everything up to this point, and you have it in you to keep pushing forward. Identify what motivates you, what inspires you, and dedicate yourself to this fresh start. Your guides really don’t want to see you give up or call it quits. For some of you in this group, the arrival of a new relationship is very promising. It feels like a new, serious thing, not some casual fling (ayyy rhyme lol). Others who are already in relationships may see it improving as well. If you were fighting with one another or going through a rough patch, I do see it working out (if that’s what you want) - one of you is still very keen on trying. One last thing I’m getting is that you have something very magnetic about you - utilizing manifestation would probably work out really well for you!

Group 5

There is so much pisces, aquarius, and MOON energy radiating from this spread! This group definitely has roots as star children or moon children. You may feel “not from here”, or like you don’t really belong - something may feel missing or off. Staying grounded and realistic may really prove to be a challenge for you. Your guides are acknowledging your spiritual gifts and tendencies, but also warn not to push yourself too far too fast. It’s like you often fluctuate between the conscious and subconscious realms, but you may not always take proper care of yourself as you do. Breathe and let your guides help you navigate the metaphysical. You may have some fears about not having enough time to do everything you have your heart set on - that you are “too late” or overwhelmed by the mundane, everyday things of this reality. Don’t abandon this world for the one in your mind’s eye - you have plenty of time for both. You can tap into the wisdom of the subconscious realm, and draw inspiration from it, but don’t get lost in there. For some of you, your spiritual journey may have just started. Your guides know how eager and excited you are but they also want you to be careful. Understanding the forces you’re dealing with is important - don’t go rushing into anything unprepared. Your spirit guides are also really trying to tell you to take care of and nurture your childlike wonder and fascination - it feels like your energy can get easily bogged down and “muddied”…don’t quit dreaming!

Group 6

This group is feeling very emotionally “pent up” - your guides have seen and felt your pains and frustrations, and they’re telling me what you’ve gone through is more like a blessing in disguise. If you’ve been obsessing, jealous, or holding grudges, sooner or later you’ve got to let those things go. You can still view things critically and discerningly (as you tend to do!) without being paranoid. Your guides are stressing that all these negative feelings are temporary, and it’s important that you don’t become numb, or reluctant to feel. You have such a great capacity for love, and they’d hate to see you keep that hidden away. You may be finding yourself at a crossroads, stuck between feeling like an outsider and having the emotional and physical intimacy you want. Your spirit guides are really stressing that that choice is entirely yours, you just have to make it. There’s a stubborn energy coming from this group - it gives me the feeling that some of you may have the fixed signs in your natal charts. Don’t let that stubbornness turn into “walls” you keep around yourself. In every life there is pain, and from it we are able to grow, mature, and gain perspective. Your guides are enforcing that you have a powerful transformative ability within you, and challenging times provide that catalyst for such change.

Thank you so much for letting me read for you! Please keep in mind this is a very broad and general reading - so not all aspects may resonate with you. If you’d like a personalized spread, my tarot services can be found here xx

If you’d like to support me and what I do, please consider buying me a coffee ☕️💕 

[barn3sandnobl3]

Tongue Tied - Part 3

Holidays are crazy so here's a long-ish one

Happy holidays everyone, hope everyone's had a safe and joy-filled time with friends/family/loved ones ❤️

Summary: Bucky has to go undercover in Hydra as The Winter Soldier again to help the team shut them down once and for all. As complicated as this mission already is, he wasn’t expecting the added complication/risk of a beautiful, mysterious assassin that Hydra has recently acquired.

Pairings: Bucky x Reader (SHE HERE)

Warnings: violence, anxiety, sadness

Note: this starts off basically at Bucky's POV before the mission, I realized it doesn't flow as well but as I edit/write/post I realize these things are lil choppy lol sorry my friends

----

As Bucky and the Hydra strike team were gearing up, he heard steady footsteps approaching them. He glanced up to see the general accompanied by a young woman with an emotionless expression on her face. She was dressed in a combat uniform and it took Bucky by surprise, although he didn’t show it. He hadn’t seen any women in the compound yet and this one seemed very…tiny. As the two approached the group of men, she was introduced.

“Soldat, men, this is Y/N. She will be accompanying you on this mission.” Bucky met her stare and the lifelessness in her eyes matched his, if not more. He nodded in acknowledgement as the general continued, “she joined us a few years back while you were gone, and she’s been a loyal asset ever since.”

Bucky looked back to her expecting a smug or proud look but was met with nothing. 

As one of the strike team men were about to ask her about her specific skill set, the general interrupted with a raised hand.

“She doesn’t speak. Ever. I’m pretty sure she’s a mute, so you two should get along just fine,” he laughed as he looked at Bucky, “Oh, and don’t let her physique fool you, she can take down anyone, I've seen it myself. Even an army. Even you, Soldat.” he grinned as he pictured the idea. “Anyways, she knows what’s required for the mission, so there won’t be much need for conversation anyway.”

“Why doesn’t she speak?” Another soldier asked, Bucky taking in her features as she blankly stared back and he noticed she was actually quite beautiful.

“She doesn’t say” the general laughed, walking away. 

An uneasy feeling settled over Bucky from how much the general laughed and smiled. It told Bucky that he was much more careless with human life than those last in command that Bucky remembered. That he didn’t take it seriously. 

He shook the feeling as he, the strike team and Y/N climbed aboard the jet and set out to Wakanda.

The 16-hour flight felt much longer than usual. Bucky had nothing to do to pass time. He was the Winter Soldier right now and he couldn’t exactly be seen playing Sudoku or listening to Spotify. He simply sat in his chair, perfectly still, staring straight ahead of him. It wasn’t until he saw something move out of the corner of his eye that he broke his stare and caught Y/N fiddling with knives, figuring out where to put the multitude of them in her tactical suit.

"Need help?” he offered blankly. She looked up to him, met him straight in the eyes, and went back to sliding knives in various places. 

Right, he thought, like she was going to answer. 

He didn’t notice until now that her eyes were an extremely bright Y/E/C. They almost sparkled. With a small shake of his head, he remembered that he needed to concentrate. This was the first mission he had as the Winter Soldier and he was expected to behave as such. He can't be staring into someone's eyes before battle..no matter how gorgeous they were.

Instead, his mind started and wander and he began to worry about fighting the Wakandan soldiers without actually killing them. He had to make himself look lethal, but he promised himself he would never take another innocent life. Natasha taught him a move that would render the other person unconscious, making it look like they had their neck snapped. It looked fairly easy, but it had to be performed with the perfect amount of pressure, otherwise, they really would be killed.

Bucky glanced down at his metal arm and closed his eyes. He hated this thing, the weapon of destruction. How many people had he killed with this arm? How many lives did he destroy?

He opened his eyes to see the beautiful landscape of Wakanda and was thankful they had finally arrived. He needed to pull his head out of his own thoughts in order to pull this off. Please let this go well, he thought to himself, as the jet landed.

--

Bucky huffed out as he finished knocking out six men that had cornered him. He had successfully knocked them all unconscious without causing them too much harm, for which he felt relieved.

The team still had a long way before they reached the weapon’s chamber, which had Bucky hopeful. 

Maybe we’ll be forced to retreat soon, he thought.

He looked over to see that almost half the team had already been killed by the Wakandan soldiers and Bucky had to suppress a smirk. 

Good riddance to you, assholes. 

Seeing the rest of the team in the middle of the battle didn’t interest him, it wasn’t until he caught Y/N in the corner of his eye that he stopped to look. 

She was ruthless. 

She had three men attacking her at once and she didn’t even seem phased. Bucky noted that even when she fought, barely a single sound left her mouth. He only heard a small groan when one of the men punched her ribs, which almost caused Bucky to run and help her, had she not retaliated with a brutal kick to the man’s face while using the other man’s body as leverage. 

Bucky was impressed. Her moves were fluid and graceful, yet strong and sturdy. One of the other strike members cried for help, pulling him out of his gaze. Bucky took a step forward to ‘help’ him out, until he was being side tackled, hard, and brought into the next room, crashing onto the floor as he and his attacker broke through the door. Bucky was so caught off guard, he immediately went on the defence and grabbed his attacker by their neck, only to realize he was squeezing red titanium alloy.

“Relax, asshole. It’s just me” Iron Man called out.  Bucky quickly did a scan of the room before realizing the rest of the fighting had drowned out the noise and Tony’s voice. His head fell back to the floor with relief and he let go of his neck.

“What are you doing, Tony? You can’t be talking to me. This is too dangerous” Bucky huffed as he stood up. Tony’s face mask withdrew in time for Bucky to see him roll his eyes.

“Not even a month in Hydra and you’re already back to being incredibly paranoid? Jeez, Frosty.” Tony pulled out a small, thin USB and handed it to Bucky, “we want you to plug this little guy in one of their main computers. It’s a system that’ll send us the ‘where’ and ‘when’ for their future missions. It’s easier than you relaying the info to us each time. Less chance of you getting caught, and hopefully less time you have to spend with them” Bucky took the USB apprehensively.

“Isn’t this more dangerous? I have no reason to be near the computers, I’m just the muscle. If I get caught, they’ll be suspicious. And if they find the USB, that’ll be even worse.” Tony didn’t have time to answer before Bucky spotted Y/N reaching the doorway and seeing him and Tony just standing there, neither of them in defensive positions. Bucky reacted quickly and threw a hard punch straight to Tony’s face and thank God Tony’s mask came back on and he moved out of the way just in time. Bucky prayed she hadn’t seen Tony hand him the USB or heard any of their conversations. His heart was racing at an incredible pace. Tony, seeing Y/N, responded with two shots from each of his hand repulsors, aimed at both soldiers. Each of them rolled out of the way, ending up standing beside each other. Bucky spoke with as much harshness as he could.

“We need to fall back. Our men weren’t prepared for the Avengers to be here.” He looked to Y/N and her lips were in a tight line, blood coming down from the side of her face where she was cut deeply. She gave a curt nod and threw the closest possible thing towards Tony with such force, it surprised both men in the room. The object seemed to hit its target with a loud clang, and Tony stumbled backwards. Bucky and Y/N ran out the door to find less than half their team still standing. Bucky briefly wondered if Steve was also here. God, that’s just the last thing this mission needs.

“We’re leaving. Now.” Bucky barked at the rest of the men, and you didn’t have to ask them twice as they immediately broke out into a sprint towards the jet. Hydra’s strike team may be incredibly lethal, but they knew when they were beaten. When they had finally reached the jets, Y/N didn’t hesitate to sit in the pilot seat and start it up. Their actually pilot was either killed or too injured to come back with them, but neither Bucky nor Y/N cared.

He knew the question was ridiculous at this point, but he asked her anyways,

“You know how to fly this?” the look Y/N gave him made him shut his mouth and sit in the co-pilot seat. How was he supposed to know what she saw back there? How could he ask her? Would she tell the general if she did see something? Bucky knew he had to find out the extent of her silence as soon as they touched down back at Hydra. This wasn’t going to be fun. Bucky knew this was most likely going to end badly, and violently. His time at Hydra was getting cut extremely short.

[ghosty-schnibibit]

much earlier in the day than usual taz liveblog! ^o^

the only reason this is going up so early is i haven’t slept yet lmao, i fixed my sleep schedule for about a month and then went right back to being nocturnal.

i've spent the last four nights or so staying up til around ten in the morning binging the magnus archives (i'm about halfway through season three right now) and enjoying the hell out of it. for anyone who followed me bc of my taz liveblogs, rest assured i'm still going to be keeping up with graduation and taz in general :P

without further ado, here we go!

i fucking forgot about “thundermen”

awww, argo made friends with the kitty ^u^

snippers my sweet prince

"i think i take a great deal of delight in that" fitzroy you lil bastard man ilu

clint asking the important questions here lol

you've just described hell travis

did clint already forget the name of the school

jesus that's depressing argo

god i wish i'd had a gary during college to remind me of stuff

i vill tell you the story of melon

i love firbolg and argo so much, they are my favorite best of friends

aww firbolg ; _ ;

fitzroy i am suspicious of where your folks even are

yes fitz get your cloak back you silly boy

i love firbolg so much holy shit

i hope we get to see the boys hang out over spring break, that sounds like a fun episode

"that's good narrative!" travis ilu

oh god the capitalism owl is back

“i vill not do this thing” mood

justin's about to hit us with that sad shit i just know it

called it ; _ ;

... well damn that made me sadder than i expected

i'm still very suspicious about that dog

fitzroy you dumb little shit ilu

make sure higglemis isn't pulling a sazed lmao

you are being very paranoid fitz but that’s okay

"you don't curse well" he's a good sweet boy

jesus christ fitz maybe don't say this to the dude in charge of the school

fitzroy my sweet boy what is your deal, please tell us

... so fitzroy basically wants a venue to prove himself to be a good person that doesn't revolve around performance and artifice. he wants a way to gain power on his own merits without relying on status to boost him up, and felt knighthood was a better way to accomplish that than going to a school where he’s basically being trained to fit a specific role in life

i can see where higglemis is coming from with his worldview given that he's been forced to play second fiddle to his brother for so long

i have a sneaking suspicion that hieronymus thinks he can better manipulate or keep fitz under his thumb in the villian track

fitzroy you dumb himbo baby, my sweet stupid son who i love so much

well that was fucking tense as hell, jesus fuck

yes, on to my sweet boy

c r e e e e e p y

ilu jackyl

why would he want a pocket watch though?

i feel significantly better in argo's ability to do challenge this now that there aren't any life altering consequences

this is going well so far

argo this is such a dumb plan, you are smarter than this my boy

"i'm drawing a word picture" ilu clint

argo this is a dumb and bad plan and you need to roll for this!!!

clint my sweet son

yeah!!! that is how it works!!!

A R G O  W H A T  T H E  F U C K

i cannot fucking believe that worked holy shit

idk if it's just because the creepy voice is gone but i'm trusting jackyl more and more

ARGO WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING

take your caffe back to chicago 

he got a fuckin tattoo holy shit

what is this reference justin

argo is deeply committed and i love it

this whole bit has been so good

oh damn that was quick edit, holy shit, i didn't even realized we were going into the money zone

there we go, there's the regular intro, i missed it

yay! my favorite girl's birthday :D

awww, argo and firbolg being bestest buds is so wonderful

a knight's tale is the only one of those movies i've seen, please juice don’t dunk on me like this

i know i keep saying this over and over but i love their friendship so much, it warms my heart dearly

fitzroy my sweet boy, he cannot cuss for the life of him 

"as partners" y'all

i love them so much, my sweet loves

god this is cute as shit, i am sold, i am sailing away on the fitzrain ship

... argo were you about to give her the same thing???

argo where the fuck did you- oh okay, nevermind lol

oh firbolg my sweet son

oh my god this is the best holy shit

rainier is my sweet darling girl and i love her so much

i need art of this so bad this sounds so cute

argo why are you busking at your dear friend's birthday party

good god argo really is shaping up to be the magnus of this campaign in terms of rolling and bonuses

yay! festo is back :D

what was that noise travis

festo is going to dance with the wee crabby, i love this so

WHY IS THERE DUBSTEP NOW

i need this as a ringtone asap 

i am so bad with names, is buckminster the nice one or the malfoy one??? oh yay good he is the nice one

oh no, what happened to leon? D:

"he wouldn't leave me!" ... are they together?

gross griffin, gross

yes! show love to your sweet crab!

i love these sweet dumb friend boys

oh dang, so the blacksmith professor is in the group too??? interesting

not liking that emphasis on "when someone needs stopping," this is extremely interesting but i'm worried about the narrative implications of this, vís a vís argo being made to turn on his friends

this is so powerful, wow

i'm gonna cry but in a happy way ; u ;

oh snap this is already so cool, wow wow wow

how many teachers are in on this, dang

WAIT WHAT??? why do they want dirt on fitzroy?????

so higglemis was the one who controlled him???

"you may forget" WHAT IS GOING ON

OH FUCK, HIGGLEMIS WHAT ARE YOU UP TO? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO SWEET LEON???

dang there was a lot of development this ep, plot and character-wise! i’m very worried for literally all three of my boys, but also very excited to see what travis has planned from here on out now that some conflict appears to be brewing!

see you guys next right thursday~ ^u^

[fallingin-like]

november 21

push to talk by @alexjosten​ [requested by @nikothespoonklepto]

see which other fics i’m reviewing this month! / my review request post!

this is a delightfully engaging fic based on the game firewatch that follows neil as he spends a summer as a fire lookout, isolated except for radio communication with andrew, a fire lookout in the adjacent sector of the park. this is such an intense, fun, beautiful, and humorous fic.

i remember enjoying this so much as it came out, eagerly awaiting each new chapter. you drew me in so easily and deeply that i watched a whole playthrough of this game. i can fully appreciate how well you were able to translate the plot, gameplay, interactions between characters, and the stunning visuals so so seamlessly and have it aftg so well.

some parts that stood out to me:

”dusk settles on the trees like clay powder, dusting the evergreens with a red tint” woah this is such a gorgeous way of starting off this fic.

”the moon extends her helping hand to guide him out into a clearing. here, neil can see. but also, he can be seen” i love these descriptions, and our introduction to neil. 

”he ignores his sleeping bag and the strict instructions to camp at nightfall and continue during the day” ah yes, Neil I Do What I Want Josten strikes again, with little regard for what people tell him to do

”if he’s not careful, the black dirt beneath his feet could bleed crimson. the exact combination of colours he came out here to avoid” this is stunning. i am immediately drawn into this fic, wanting to know what or who exactly neil is running from, and where he’s going

”buttermilk rays whisk the shadows of leaves into a dance on the forest floor beneath his feet” !! buttermilk?? somehow that works so so well

”the irony of calling it that in his head isn’t lost on him, and he vows to avoid that comparison again” what a subtle detail, but so telling! i am pretty bad with reading tags a lot of the time, so this was a great introduction to raven!neil

”it’s as exposing as it is freeing. he can’t feel trapped when he can see for miles every way he turns” wow it’s still so early in the fic, but you’ve already done an exceptional job at justifying neil choosing to come here, to escape.

foxtrot tower is such a cute name! i love that it’s not something directly taken from the books, this name seems to fit this au so well. i know that you likely had the game as reference for the tower, but i really liked the way you describe it, you were able to establish the same tone that exists in the game, but you did it through words instead of visuals and audio, something that really impresses me

”glad to hear you’re literate enough to have read the dossier” ohmygoodness ANDREW

”andrew’s tone is playful. neil thinks it might even be flirtatious, but he doesn’t care enough right now to find out” as much as i enjoy oblivious!neil, i appreciate that this version of neil is more aware, he seems more in tune with things around him. it fits better with this story, with the isolation and only communication being through the radio

”the sky slips into a more comfortable pink, the sun laying down to rest amongst the mountains” am i ever going to get over your descriptions of the environment? i don’t think so

of course neil goes for a run, basically right after doing a super intense two day hike in one day

”andrew sounds agitated” I LOVE THIS

oh dang, neil’s panic is so sudden, i’m so immersed that i immediately felt nervous too

”it’s our job to watch the horizon, neil. it’s not my fault you’re on mine” oh this is so good

”neil doesn’t believe in coincidences. he believes in traps and ill intentions, because that’s all his life has been until now”  it’s honestly amazing how quickly the atmosphere of this fic has turned to something a little bit darker, kind of scary. we know neil as a runner, but the idea of someone finding him so soon and trying to lure him out? gives me chills

“he doesn’t realise his hands are shaking until he struggles to press the push-to-talk button” PUSH TO TALK I AM SO FOND OF FICS THAT INCLUDE THE TITLE OF THE FIC IN THEIR FIC. also shaky hands are my kryptonite

”he also takes the cleaver from the kitchen counter” NEIL I- I AM SPEECHLESS

”a small sensible part of his brain tries to convince him that there are much easier ways to kill him than leading him out in the middle of nowhere, in a forest that he told nobody from his past life that he would be living in, where he uses a new name that nobody knows” !! good to hear that neil has a sensible part of his brain LOL

”but underestimating his enemies and their taste for dramatics would be a mistake” neil of all people does have a good reason for being paranoid. i love that you have this separated as a different paragraph, i read it differently because of it and i think that it adds more gravity to the sentence

”there, he finds a lipstick-red tent, zipper teeth yawning open to reveal two pink sleeping bag tongues” the imagery!!! incredible

”he feels like a walking timebomb” yeah i am definitely nervous for neil

”’girls don’t do it for you?’ andrew’s curiosity has a hopeful slant” OHMYGOODNESS ANDREW

”andrew’s voice is a firm, solid reassurance” bless andrew

”neil never thought he’d be relieved to meet someone who didn’t like exy” i also never thought that. neil you are a changed man

ooh the backstory to the fireworks is so good! i was also thinking it was a little out of character, but this is the perfect reason that renee would let it slide!

”the stars are withering in the purpling sky” i could cry because i love your writing so much

A MAN I AM FREAKING OUT. WHO IS HE

the easygoing banter between andrew and neil is so great, their conversation is interesting and flows really well

”he’s almost home” it amazes me and really shows something about this version of neil that he’s so quick to call this tower his home

”i know i needed to do this, but i am not sure i am ready to be so alone” woah break my heart why don’t you? this hits really close to home,, how dare you make me feel emotions

”i usually take a more straightforward approach” andrew never lies, but this is the truest thing he has ever said

”they’ll probably never meet, because neil intends on spending the rest of his summer without meeting another soul, andrew included” hmmm why do i have the sneaking suspicion that this will not be the case?

”neil’s not sure what grindr is but his face heats up all the same” this sentence is a MOOD (except i do know what grindr is)

”andrew’s response is sharp like a blade. ‘why? because one of the girls called you scarface?’ neil feels himself flinch” hhh i am secretly a very big fan of scenes that include neil’s scars, so you got me here

”andrew keeps neil company on the hour hike up to the north of his sector, but his usual commentary seems a bit strained today” uhH what’s going on, i’m getting scared

DID ANDREW BRING NEIL OVER JUST SO HE CAN SEE WHAT HE LOOKS LIKE? 

ohmygoodness, neil leaving andrew pictures and a sweatshirt? so so so cute

”he imagines the fear they felt when they saw him holding it wasn’t too unlike the fear that used to paralyse him when his father, or lola, would threaten him back home” woah this is good

i would bet that allison was the one to write that letter haha i can imagine that renee is likely kind of shaken by the incident, otherwise she might not have let allison leave it behind

andrew is such a good companion for neil, calming him both by his presence and by logically explaining what could have happened to the tent. he’s an anchor

”he feels like the cleaver he had attempted to defend himself with on his first day now carries a foreboding aura” YEAH I’M GETTING PRETTY NERVOUS TOO

WAIT NATHAN IS DEAD? THANK GOODNESS

woah so interesting to learn about neil’s backstory and his reason for not going pro “his offers to join pro teams curled up like dead leaves in a fire” dang, referencing both his burns and his new job? so good

ANDREW MINYARD IMITATING A VALLEY GIRL I NEED THIS IN MY LIFE PLEASE

oo that subtle way of mentioning andrew’s memory

i am so emotional, andrew is just so so good. makes me feel all the feelings ;-;

”andrew sounds like a bristled up cat tail” CUTE!!

i am dying to know what is going on in andrew’s head, during this conversation, when he left his tower to see neil, and really, just throughout this whole fic

woah i really like the way that you had neil describe his asexuality. it’s something that i recognize in myself and i like the way that you handled it.

 >:C 

them drawing each other?? peak cute. i want that to happen to me (have someone who doesn’t know what i look like try and draw me)

”neil waits for him to say more. he doesn’t. oh. that’s why. ‘heh’” LOLOL

you know what, i actually,,, only recognized the name draco malfoy LOL

ANDREW PRETENDING THAT HE DOESN’T ACTUALLY KNOW AARON OH MY GOODNESS. I CANNOT BELIEVE HE PRETENDED TO GET HIS NAME WRONG. “i look like him. but hotter and better dressed” ANDREW HOW GOOD TO YOU DRESS YOU LIVE IN THE MIDDLE OF A FOREST. this whole section is hilarious and really helps lighten the tone and keep things playful

”’why would i wear that?’ andrew’s response is too quick and defensive” *unintelligible screaming*

ANDREW DRAWING NEIL IN TINY RUNNING SHORTS. THIS! MAN! I CAN’T HANDLE HIM

”neil gets into the routine of falling asleep next to his radio, talking to andrew deep into the night, far past his ability to keep his eyes open. they take turns drifting off mid conversation…” this is the softest thing ever

”considering neil’s job is to prevent forest fires, there’s a certain irony in how beautiful the park is when painted the colours of flames” oh (like a good oh)

ANDREW REJECTING NEIL REALLY JUST BROKE MY HEART WHY DID YOU DO THAT TO ME

”his heart tumbles from his chest and falls to the bottom of the ravine. he doesn’t understand why it was so close to the railings of his ribcage in the first place” this is so so beautiful even though it’s describing something so sad. makes me feel achy

drunk andrew. how is it that you, alexjosten, seem to know everything that i love in a fic?

”neil’s cabin floods with light. how real is neil josten without nathaniel wesninski filling his shell? with a snap, it’s gone.” uh this is so incredible, i love how you split everything up into its own paragraph, their conversation so similar to the storm. ugh i can’t get enough

”still, neil feels the change: the undeniable part of him where his branches have been torn asunder and his bark has been scorched away to expose his core” every time i think that this sentence is the best, and every time you blow me away again. i can’t describe how this sentence makes me feel

the scene of neil rescuing allison and renee fills me with adrenaline, it’s so intense

having the girls recognize neil was like being trapped in a nightmare, there was nothing i could do but read on and see how it ends. dajsflks. but also i really hope that neil got back his jacket and sweater lol

WHAT IN THE WORLD NEIL HAVING TO PLAY A GAME ON CODEINE, RIKO TRYING TO KILL NEIL ON TV, THIS IS SO INTENSE. also, i love what you’ve done with this

dang, how does andrew know kevin?

andrew’s gifts for neil are so cute. i am here just freaking out!!!!

A PUFFBALL DANDELION 

“you sweet, sheltered city child” oh my goodness adorable

”you’re going to go nuts when i tell you what a caterpillar turns into” ANDREW

THE BEAR. THE JUMP

honestly, i’m a little surprised that neil wasn’t supplied with bear spray

”’andrew, i don’t think they’re coming for me.’ ‘of course they’re not.’ neil’s heart sinks. ‘they’re not?’ ‘i am’” KFAJSDFJPOJAFD THIS GLORIOUS INTERACTION WILL FOREVER BE WITH ME

THEM TRAVELLING AND EVERYTHING WITHOUT EVEN KNOWING WHAT THEY LOOK LIKE BECAUSE OF THE DARK. ALSO ANDREW BEING SUPER BUFF AND PICKING NEIL UP NO BIG DEAL

”we had your face on a dart board in the break room” AHHHH

”the only consolation is it smells of the andrew who just walked two hours to rescue him from the side of a cliff, and then spent another two hours carrying him here” i don’t even know what to say

wait andrew knew who neil was the whole time oh my goodness

THE GAME IS ANIMAL CROSSING. this is now and forevermore considered canon! 

ANDREW DROPPING THE GAME HE’S SO TIRED. ANDREW MY BABY

ANDREW’S DRAWING OF NEIL

”half of andrew’s sandwich is in his mouth, and he kind of looks like a hamster” adorable!

okay okay jean and jeremy being the two trading letters? so so good.

THE ENDING WITH ANDREW TELLING STORIES ABOUT NEIL BEING DEAD

the last chapter was amazing, i loved the way that you wrote the interactions between andrew and neil, they fit so well together. i also appreciate that you deviated from the game and had them meet! it is infinitely more satisfying. this was such an easy fic to read, everything felt right. i love your characterization of both of them. to have andrew treat neil the way that he did, knowing who neil was? amazing

also, can i just say that the moodboards that you include at the beginning of each chapter are amazing? they really helped with establishing the tone of the fic.

this fic is so intense, i was constantly amazed by how i was so fully immersed in it. everything that neil felt, i felt. your descriptions were gorgeous and i could not get enough of them. there were so many small details, sentences that were pure gems, that rereading this was just as, if not more, enjoyable than the first time. i really cannot put to words how much i loved reading this. thank you so so much for writing it!

[cazziamo]

Runaway [7]

requested: no lol

group/member: EXO/ Baekhyun

word count: 3.9k

summary:  All it takes is being at the wrong place, at the wrong time for you to be dragged back into the world you had tried so hard to leave behind.

[a/n]: lol new gif bc i couldn’t get the usual one to work today for some anyway sorry i suck at updating regularly lol this one has some sweet shit and we finally meet the brother !! things should pick up from here but who knows how long lololol enjoy

Once you all got home, the first thing you did was slip into your room and call your brother. The phone rang five times before cutting to voicemail. The immediate pain you felt in your chest was like your heart stopped, irrational panic seeping into your veins. Your hands were already shaking badly enough that it was hard to click on his contact again, but you managed to hit it and raised the phone up to your ear again. This time, it only rang twice before going to voicemail, like someone had hit the 'decline call' button. You opened up the messages instead. Call me. It's important. You sent. Almost immediately the check-marks turned into a little eye, meaning your message had been seen.  At work rn. He sent back. Call u on break. You had never let out a bigger sigh of relief in your life. You couldn't explain it- you knew that your had killed Hyojin for a fact, and you can't order a hit on someone when you're dead. But even dead, Hyojin still had followers, and EXO could only control them so much this early on. Someone was bound to be overly dedicated, loyal to a fault even, and try to complete Hyojin's goals. Even still, the more paranoid side of you could only consider the possibility of him being taken and the kidnappers having control of his phone, trying to keep him hidden for a while longer until they had a solid plan. You knew how it would go- you had been the kidnapped before, and been the kidnapper.  You wanted to go out and see him, but you knew that showing up at his work wouldn't go over well. He really was a hard worker, and he liked to do his best in hopes of getting higher pay. He had always insisted on helping out with the finances, saying he didn't want to rely on his big sister for too long. Besides, he would ask you where you had been lately, and that was a conversation you weren't ready for. He didn't take well to having promises broken. He was a lot like you in many ways, sometimes too much so. It was hard for him to trust, and even you, his own sister, had to fight desperately just to come back into his life. The one condition that your brother had was that you stay out of the dark. No gangs, no fights, no illegality as long as you were around him. You had been doing so well, too, but look where you wound up. It's almost like you were supposed to have this kind of life- running constantly, hiding, fighting for your life, stealing and killing others. You were supposed to be alone. However, just because you saw him, doesn't mean you have to see him- or that he had to see you. Maybe if you were to just pass by, verify yourself that he was safe and really at work, it would help put you at ease. You had some shopping to do anyway, so what was the harm in taking a short detour just to peep in and make sure? When you came back, you might finally be able to get some sleep.

But there was another problem. You had no idea how you were going to be able to get out of the base. It wasn't like Suho was going to trust you all of a sudden just because you killed Hyojin. That had been personal, anyway. So how were you going to get out? You could try to sneak out; this was just the main base for the members, after all. None of the lackeys were here, so if you were careful, maybe. Or you could ask someone for help, but the thought of it made your skin crawl. There was only one person who knew about your brother here, and that was Baekhyun, who you had been desperately trying to avoid. Ever since the other night it was like a barrier had broken between you and Baekhyun, but it didn't necessarily feel bad. It just felt... awkward. And you didn't do well with awkward. 

Then again, he really is the only one who would be willing to help you. He would bust your balls over it for sure, and probably demand a favor in return, but at this point you were feeling so itchy and antsy that you would do anything to go see your brother. So you grabbed your jacket from off of the bed and shut your door quietly behind you, stepping carefully into the long hallway. You knew almost everybody's room- like D.O.'s was right across from yours, on the right of your room was Chanyeol, and across from him was Chen. Baekhyun's room was on the other side of the hallway, four doors from your own. Naturally, it was locked, but you just picked it with a bobby pin and made your way over to his bed where he was sound asleep.

"Baekhyun," you hissed, reaching out to shake his shoulder. "Baekhyun, wake up."

He rolled over and groaned, eyes heavy with sleep as he tried to force them open. His eyes narrowed again when they focused on you, before he yelled and scrambled backwards. "Jesus Christ, what the fuck are you-"

You slammed your hand over his mouth as quickly as you could. "Shut the fuck up!" You whispered aggressively. "Be quiet, I need your help."

He rolled his eyes and slapped your hand away. "How did you get in here?"

"I picked the lock, duh." You told him bluntly, looking at him weirdly.

"What do you mean you picked the lock?" He hissed.

"What do you mean, what do I mean? I mean that I picked the fucking lock, Baek."

"How in the hell-"

"Obviously I took the bobby pin out of my hair, bent it, and stuck it in the damn lock-"

"I know how to pick a lock!"  He whispered angrily, trying to kick you off of the bed. He inhaled deeply, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose. "Okay. Okay, whatever. You broke into my room because you need my help. What do you need me for?"

"I need you to take me outside the base. I'm gonna go and see my brother." You bit your lip, one hand playing with the end of your sleeve. "After everything, and the threats that Hyojin made on my brother, I- I just need to go see him. To check on him, I guess? Just to- Just to make sure...? I don't know."

He blinked at you once, then a second time. "Oh. Oh, okay, yeah, uhm-" He tried to throw the blanket off of him but because you were still on it, it got caught and you were sent tumbling down to the floor, cocooned in the comforter. You heard Baekhyun snort (obviously trying not to laugh, the shit) and his head popped over the edge of the bed to help you up. He was in pajamas- a t-shirt and some sweatpants- and before he started to speak he was heading towards his dressers. 

"So you can watch if you want, but I'm gonna get changed so we can go." His eyes flickered over to the door, an eyebrow raised slightly. He was teasing you, you knew it, and everything in you wanted to snap back at him. The only thing is- he was helping you without any obligation or order to do so. He didn't have to come with you to check on your brother, and even if you went without him, we wasn't obligated to keep it a secret from the others. But he was doing all of these things just because you asked him, and you felt that he deserved a little bit of leniency. So you slid off of the bed and hurried over to the door, opening it slightly first to see if anyone was in sight. There wasn't, so you told Baekhyun that you would wait outside his door for him. 

He was dressed a few moments later, and you had to admit (he looked good-) that it was strange to see him dressed in everyday clothing. It was just a pair of light blue jeans with holes in the knees paired with a comfy looking hoodie and some sneakers, but it was different from how you've seen him before; not that it was a bad thing, of course, even you could admit that he looked good in most of what he wore. Dressed like this, him nodding his head towards the exit and telling you, "I'm ready, we can go now." all just seemed so... docile. Then again, you could just be weird due to the years of fighting and double-fighting the men around you. You were used to much harsher things, not soft things like Baekhyun handing you a plate at breakfast or holding you while you cried or-

You could feel your cheeks flaming as you managed to think of the incident again. You knew for a fact that you had fallen asleep in his arms- you knew it. But when you woke up he wasn't there, and he had never brought it up afterwards. You would rather die than be the one to mention it first, but it was weird for him to have ammo on you and not use it. You really didn't want to think of Baekhyun as a decent person, but the more interactions you had, the more it was beginning to sink in. 

"Okay," you muttered, turning sharply and heading for the door. The subject was just so confusing for you and it was getting to a point where you weren't sure what you felt anymore. That was the scariest part. 

"Have you talked to your brother at all?" Baekhyun asked you suddenly, his voice seeming scarily loud after moments of tense silence. 

"Yeah, I texted him when we got home because I was worried. He says he's at work." You responded, loosening up a little. Your arms, which had been crossed over your chest before, swung lightly at your sides before you tucked them into your jacket pockets. 

Baekhyun visibly perked up. If he were a dog you knew his ears would be standing straight up, flicking around. "Where does he work?"

"At a cafe," you told him. "The one down the road from where the fair usually comes. Speaking of, isn't it that time of year?"

"For the fair? Yeah, it usually comes during fall." He hums. "Why, wanna go?"

Your cheeks flared red again at the thought of going to the fair with him. "No," you snapped. "You'd only make me wanna jump from the top of the Ferris wheel." Pouting, you sped up, rounding the corner first in hopes he didn't see your face. Like you said, interactions with him were beginning to be a big problem for you, and what sucked the most was that you used to be so good at hiding your emotions. But for some god awful reason you couldn't chill out around him. What was worse was that even as you walked ahead of him you could hear him laughing; you hated that it was making you smile.

"I'm serious!" He said, still laughing, as he ran up behind you. "If your brother gets off of work in time, bring him and go to the fair. I'll make myself scarce." 

You stopped suddenly- abruptly enough that Baekhyun nearly tripped over his own feet trying to stop himself. "Why are you being like this?" You hated the way it almost sounded like you were whining. 

"Being like what? Nice? Helping you out?" He scoffed. "Gee, I wonder."

"Baek, I'm being serious!" You hissed, slapping him on the arm. "Ever since we ran into each other, it was always hostile, always messing with each other, but ever since the- ever since you-" you cut yourself off, feeling the heat creeping up your neck. "Now you're nice to me and I don't know how to handle it."

Baekhyun did nothing but stare at you for a while, to the point you were starting to get uncomfortable. People were casting glances your ways (and a couple of curses as some had to navigate around you) as the two of you blocked the sidewalk. Then Baekhyun snorted, throwing his head back as he launched into raucous laughter. "You-" He tried to say, but it died out as he wheezed and gasped for breath. "Jesus, you- I'm so- what-" The more he laughed, the angrier you started to feel. You lashed out and slapped his arm again, which made him laugh even more. If you though the looks from before were bad, then what you were getting now was enough to make you wanna crawl in a hole somewhere. 

"What's that-" He stopped to chuckle again, coughing loudly to stop himself. "What's the rule about boys picking on girls?" He managed to ask semi-seriously, an eyebrow raised despite the teasing smile on his lips. 

"That the boy likes the girl he's teasing." You said smugly, thinking you've gotten the upper hand here. "Why, do you like me Baek? Got a crush?"

"Yeah, actually." 

That sobered you up real fast. The smirk that was on your lips before immediately dropped and now you were the one staring. He slapped an arm around your shoulder and pulled you close, guiding you forward. "Let's go. Your brother's cafe is just up this road right?"

"Y-Yeah." You answered, to stunned to say anything else. You didn't even think to pull away from him as you walked, and soon enough you were outside of your brothers cafe. You could see him through the window, dressed in his cute little barista's uniform; he was smiling as he talked to customers (most of who were girls, much to your chagrin) and was making drinks without paying attention. He was good at this job, and even though it was a relatively easy job once someone got used to it, you were so proud of your baby brother for how he turned out. He was mature and responsible, and you liked to think that you taught him most of that. 

Your home situation had never been good, and it was to the point that you, although young yourself, had mainly taken care of your brother. Your parents had always been fighting, your father leaving for days, sometimes weeks, at a time and your mom almost mentally checking out, doing nothing but throwing herself into work or drinking when your father wasn't around. You had never lived up to your moms expectations- you hadn't done to well in school, you weren't very social, you didn't really care for your appearance much; these were all things that mattered a lot to her, and you just turned out to be the opposite of what she wanted. You had excepted that a long time ago, but then she had started to blame your father for the way things turned out once you started middle school. It had escalated to a point where your dad had gone to visit his family in a western province for a weekend and never came home.  You had dealt with it the best you could, but the underlying guilt that everything was your fault ('why couldn't I do better' or 'why couldn't I just make more friends' were frequent thoughts of yours) was constantly there. It had never hit you harder than the moment you explained to your brother that his father wasn't coming home, that he wasn't going to be there for his birthday the following week. He had been turning eleven years old, and you don't think he had really been the same way since. That was around the time he stopped talking about himself, he became quiet and a lot more observant. It broke your heart, really.  You had been able to live with that, though. What you couldn't live with was the almost immediate replacement your mother had brought in, one who was much more impulsive and prone to violence. Things had escalated, and led to you being essentially thrown out of the house by the time you were in your last year of high school. She hadn't even let you in to take any clothes, and when you tried to sneak in the next night she had already changed all of the locks. She was committed to leaving you alone, and isolating your brother from you. That was around the time Han had found you- curled up in the corner of a bench, nestled in between the large, arching roots, hugging yourself to keep warm. You had eaten next to nothing in the last few days, and you had taken the apple he offered you without second thoughts. He had taken you in, cleaned you up, taught you to protect yourself so that no one could hurt you again. He had helped you regain contact with your brother years later, only for him to completely shun the life you were living. You kept in touch best you could, and eventually convinced him to let you help after Han was killed.  He hated the life you lived, but you wouldn't be able to hide it forever. You knew that, you really did, but part of you wished it was possible. You finally had your bay brother back in your life, and you didn't know what would happen if he left you again. He was an adult now, he could make his own decisions. But that didn't mean you had to tell him immediately.  As you got up to the door of the cafe, you noticed that Baekhyun still had his arm around your should when you saw your reflection. Your ears heated up and you hurriedly brushed his arm off your shoulder, throwing the door open quickly. There was a small chime from the bell above the door, and your brother glanced over, already starting to greet 'the customer.' "Hello!" He called brightly, almost out of instinct. "How you guys doi- [y/n]?" You grinned just as brightly as he had before rushing in. "Hi, couldn't wait for your break." He rolled his eyes but excused himself from the girls he was talking to and came to your side. He didn't acknowledge Baekhyun at all, instead wrapping his arms around you for a hug. His grip was tight- just as tight as yours on him, but he let it go much faster than you would have. He cleared his throat and fixed his shirt, finally glancing at Baekhyun. "You are?"He asked with a raised eyebrow. You laughed to yourself- your baby brother (you insisted on calling him baby brother even thought he was already inches taller than you) was acting a tad protective, and it only made you think of him as cuter. "Down boy," You snickered, reaching up to pinch your brothers cheek affectionately. "This is Baekhyun. Baekhyun, this is my brother, Tae-soo." "Just Tae." Your brother cut in coolly, before redirecting the conversation to you. "What's up?" "I needed to see you. What time do you get off, because we... we have a lot to talk about." He glanced at the clock and pursed his lips, a habit he had for when he was thinking. He cracked his knuckles on his right hand before answering slowly. "I've worked a double this week already, and we're kinda slow right now, so I can probably get off within the next twenty minutes or so if I ask. We going to my apartment?" You glanced over at Baekhyun, obviously hesitating, but he simply nodded encouragingly. "Actually, can we...." You swallowed thickly. "Can we stop at the carnival for a little bit? We haven't been to one for a really long time." You trailed of nervously at the end, because yes, it would be really fun for you, and you would probably cherish the memories of your brother smiling, wind wild from the coasters forever. But it felt like you were just avoiding the conversation that was bound to happen, like you were running away from it. To be honest, you probably were. Tae raised his eyebrow at you, huffing and shaking his head. "You can be so childish sometimes." He muttered, but the corners of his lips were twitching. "Yeah, we can go to the carnival first. Let me go tell my boss I'm getting ready to leave." He didn't wait for a response before leaving, and you could see that he was happy from the little bounce in his steps. As soon as he disappeared into the backroom, you whirled around to Baekhyun, who had remained completely silent throughout your interaction with your brother. "He said yes!" You whispered excitedly, grinning widely. 

Baekhyun smiled at you. "Yeah, I was there when he said it, stupid." He flicked your forehead after he spoke, still smiling at you. "Do you want me to hang around or disappear for a bit?"

"Stay." You answered almost immediately, although even you realized it wasn't like you. The more you thought about it, however, you realized it was the right decision. Baekhyun had been really kind and generous towards you as of late even though you had (admittedly) been a huge pain in the ass. You were rough and mean and closed off, but he didn't seem to mind; this was more than you could say for almost everyone who had been in your life so far. Despite how much you 'hated' Baekhyun, it seemed like he was the closest thing you had to a friend in the group. You had allies now, sure, but no one would save you if you were hurt, or comfort you if you cried, or ask you how you've been, or help you if you needed it unless it benefit them in some way. Baekhyun checked off every single one of those boxes. 

"I want you to stay." You repeated, slower this time, while making eye contact with him. "But if the roller coaster has two seats, I'm not sitting with you."

He grinned brightly, looking happy enough that you found yourself smiling again. "I think I'm okay with that." He said, throwing his arm over your shoulder again. This time, you didn't push it off, even when your brother came darting out of the break room, uniform folded neatly in his arms as he hurried towards you. 

Tae's eyes flickered up to your shoulders and you stiffened, but otherwise ignored it. You opted to smile at him instead. "Ready to go?"

"Yeah," he told you, tucking his uniform into his bag. His voice was airy, like he still didn't have enough air in his lungs. From the way his shoulders shook slightly, you could tell that he had finished as fast as he could. It was nice to see him this excited- he hated seeming like a little kid but sometimes he deserved to act like one; you wanted to give him that.

"Okay, let's go then!" Baekhyun cheered, spinning quickly and heading for the door. With you under his arm still, he wound up dragging you along with him out of the door, leaving Tae-soo hurrying after you. 

"Hey," he barked angrily from behind you, making Baekhyun speed up. "Hands off my sister, doofus." You laughed and Baekhyun pouted, making a point to pull you closer. They bickered like they were brothers themselves the whole way there. 

"Don't tease him, Baekhyun-"

"Don't take his side-"

"Tae, I was literally telling him to leave you alone-"

"Yeah, Tae-soo, listen to your sis-"

"Stay out of it!"

You sighed and pinched the bridge of your nose, already feeling the headache coming along. This was going to be a long walk.

[ilovereadingandilovebreathing]

Sorry to ask lol but could you do a teacher AU where the students find Roman or Virgil on Tumblr and just freak out

Lol you’re good; I haven’t done teacher stuff in a while. This is a very real fear, soo...this’ll be fun.

I’m not sure if you want the kids or teachers to freak out, but trust me, there’d be way more freaking on the teachers’ end of things.

I went back and forth on this because on one hand Virgil might be too paranoid to have a tumblr as a teacher but on the other hand if he had it in high school....Roman doesn’t have time for tumblr these days, tbh, but I’ll include him since you asked for him specifically!

Idk if this is as freak out as you wanted; I’m boring and went for realism so sorry if it’s not up to standard lol

That Tuesday started out like any other:

His Tuesday/Thursday homeroom kids were as chatty and apathetic to announcements as ever.

His first two classes of Honors American Lit. kids were as attentive as always, offering brilliant and insightful connections between themselves, society, and The Crucible.

By all accounts, it was a normal Tuesday.

Until his Mythology students came trailing back from lunch, some of them barely hiding giggles and elongated stares from their desks.

“Alright.” Virgil began teasingly as the final bell rang. “Do I have something on my face? My shirt?” He threw a glance behind his back. “Did Randy tape something to my back again?”

Half of the small class exploded into laughter, but the other half gazed between their teacher and peers wondering what great joke they’d missed out on.

“It’s nothing, Mr. Anderson.” An outspoken and bright student named Cam spoke up. “Kya just made an interesting discovery last night and shared it with the whole lunch table.”

“I’m sure I don’t even want to know.” Virgil grinned and rolled his eyes as he passed out their class set mythology texts to each of his 15 students.

“Today we’ll be tackling a classic story: Baucis and Philemon. It includes love, hospitality, and a couple of God’s playing make believe.”

A choral snicker ran through a certain side of the room again, but Virgil fixed them with a look and pulled up an interactive PowerPoint.

The rest of the lesson went off without a hitch, and the students seemed eager to jump into their assigned tasks to teach the class (finding allusions to Jupiter’s and Mercury’s roles or Baucis and Philemon’s roles in movies, books, or TV shows.)

Partway through work time, though, Cam sauntered up to Virgil’s desk and perched there for a minute before cupping a hand over his mouth with a conspiratorial glint in his eye.

“So, Mr. Anderson, I have a question.”

“Sure, Cam; what’s up?”

“Well, I’m wondering: is ‘student A’ in ‘A Crazy Halloween Story’ referring to Jessica Simmons or Kaley Aldrin? Because both have you for honors and dressed up as Harley Quinn for Halloween.”

Virgil’s brain stuttered to a halt, and he took all of his energy to school his expression, making certain his eyes didn’t give away the screaming anxiety erupting within his chest. “I’m not sure what you’re talking about, Cam.” Virgil cocked his head to the side in an effort to lighten the tension only one of them felt. “What do Jessica or Kaley and Halloween have to do with Baucis and Philemon?”

“Oh, right. You gotta play it cool. Can’t let the kids know about your social media. I gotchu.” Cam nudged Virgil with an elbow and a stage wink. “Secret’s safe with me, Anxious Orpheo-I mean, Mr. A.” Cam pushed off of the side of his desk and went back to his group, the other members having abandoned their work to stared wide-eyed and open-mouthed at Cam’s boldness.

“I told you-”

“Holy crap-”

“You’re full of it, Cam; he never confirmed it.”

“You heard me, Emily! He can’t!”

Virgil inhaled and exhaled deeply, hands gripping and releasing under his desk as he fought to keep the fear from his features. Thank god he had planning after this.

-

When the bell rang some time later, Virgil let out a huge sigh, smiling at his last student, Kya, as she meandered toward the door, paused, and rushed over to his desk.

“Mr. Anderson. I’m so sorry I told everyone about your Tumblr. I mean....everyone in this class. Well, really on that side of the class, but anyway, I haven’t told anyone else I swear! And I didn’t even mean for Cam or Emily or anyone else to find out; I was just showing your posts to Liam at lunch, but Cam was being nosy and overheard. I’m so so sorry, and I’ll try to make sure he doesn’t tell anyone so you don’t get in trouble! Oh my god I’m just so sorry.” Kya took a deep break, and Virgil let his guard fall just a hair, his eyes turning down at the sides.

“It’s alright, Kya. Students have spread far worse rumors about teachers before. Me having a Tumble isn’t the worst thing someone can say.”

“Tumblr.” Kya corrected.

“Right.” Virgil smiled. “I appreciate your apology, Kya, but don’t worry about it too much, okay?”

“Okay. Thanks, Mr. Anderson, and I really am sorry.”

“I know. Now go on before you’re late.”

“Oh, yeah, right. Bye!” Kya waved and sped out the door.

As soon as she was definitively gone, Virgil slumped into his chair, eyes staring dejectedly at his dark computer screen before sighing and running a hand through his hair. Well, this was certainly not how he expected things to go today.

-

“Oh, Virge, you’re in here!”

Virgil’s head shot up to see Roman peeking around his doorway.

“Yes, it’s shocking to find me in my own classroom.”

“Well usually Ortega is in here during planning.”

“They’re in the computer lab working on a paper.”

“Oh, nice...Anyway, your copies have been sitting in the work room since this morning.” Roman strutted into the room revealing the large stack of copies against his hip.

“Thanks, But...Roman....you’re not on planning right now.”

“As per usual, you are correct, my dear darkling, but you also know that those kids are pretty self-sufficient. Plus Remy is staying all day today since our first show is tonight.”

“They might as well not have a teacher at all.”

“Take that back! Remy is a great co-teacher!”

“When he’s working. He’s not even on the clock now. He’s probably on his phone.”

“Fair point, but you’re not Logan, so why are you pointing all of this out?” Roman set his stack on a nearby desk and pulled up another, sitting on the hardtop as he looked Virgil up and down. “What’s up? You’re tense.”

Virgil sighed. “Shut the door first?”

Roman scurried to the classroom door and made a show of closing it quietly. “Ooo something juicy?”

“Kind of. Not really. More horrifying and embarrassing.”

“Oh joy which was it this time?” Roman asked dramatically as he perched back on the desk, his feet in the chair and hands steepled over his knees.

“....one of my mythology kids found my tumblr and accidentally told half of the class about it.”

“1) That sucks. 2) How do you ‘accidentally’ tell 8 people about something?”

“Another kid was being nosy.”

“Unnamed kid you tell me about?”

“One of them.”

“Ah.” Roman considered for a moment. “I mean there are worse things.”

“I know. That’s what I said too when the bean spiller apologized, but...I’ve had that thing since I was their age, Roman, who knows what kind of shit they can dig up! I can’t remember half of the emotionally charged stuff I posted on there, and I know there’s posts about my sexuality on there, too.” Virgil froze. “Oh god, what if they find my old fan fiction?!”

Roman couldn’t contain a small chuckle at that. “Then they’ll know you’re a legit writer.”

“Ro, this is serious.” Virgil folded his legs into his chair and leaned back, sighing again and staring at the speckled ceiling. “What if they find something...objectionable and tell their parents? And the parents tell the principal? What if I get fired?!”

“Did you post anything that bad?”

“Probably not....but I did post stories about stuff that happened in class.”

“Oooo...yeah that can be tricky territory. Did you get super specific?”

“In the story part, I guess.”

“Did you drop names, kids or the school or anything someone could use to identify?”

“No.”

Roman sighed. “Well, I mean what can you do, you know? You didn’t explicitly give names or the school or any concrete identifying information, right?”

“Right, but all they’d have to do is look at my phone.”

“What reason do they have unless the kids complain about it? You can always put a lock or something on it, right? There are private accounts.”

“I don’t know if I can at this point, but I guess I can try. Don’t know how much good it will do when I already have a few hundred followers.”

“Just 300?”

“Almost 1000.”

“Ooo yeah that is a little more significant. Geez tumblr has millions of followers, and somehow they stumbled on you.”

“Yeah. It sucks.”

“I mean....the initial kid apologized, right?”

“Yeah. She claims she won’t spread it anymore and will keep blabbermouth kid quiet, but we’ll see.”

“Don’t stress about it too much. They seem like good kids, so I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

“God, I hope so.”

“Well, it’s probably about time I get back to my little rugrats. You’re coming to our show, yeah?”

“If I don’t self-combust first.” Virgil pulled out a small smile. “Yeah, I’ll be there.”

“Great!” Roman vaulted off of the desk, grabbed his stack of papers, and made for the door. He paused for a moment in the doorway and turned, his expression softer than Virgil ever remembers seeing. “It’s gonna be okay, Virge. Don’t let it get you too worked up, okay?”

“I’ll try. Thanks, Ro.” Virgil waved him off and sighed before sitting back up to try to get something done.

“Uh, Mr. Anderson?”

Virgil’s jaw clenched involuntarily at the familiar tone, and he looked up to find a familiar blonde in the doorway. “Cam. I thought you had chemistry this period.”

“I do, but I finished my lab already, so Mr. Harris let me ‘go to the bathroom.’” He accentuated with air quotes. “Um but I really came here to apologize.”

“What for?”

“Kya kinda ripped me a new one during chemistry. She has this really scary way of being really angry and really quiet at the same time. It’s freaky.” Cam made a show of shivering violently. “But yeah she chewed me out during lab because of what I did during class, so....I just wanted to say I’m sorry if I freaked you out. I promise I won’t tell anybody. It was just kinda crazy to hear that our favorite teacher is like us, you know?”

Virgil forced up a smile. “We are human, as crazy as it sounds.”

“So....is it you? Wait, I probably shouldn’t ask that, so there’s no evidence or whatever....I’m just gonna assume. Scientific method.”

“Apology accepted. Go back to chemistry before he sends someone after you.”

“He won’t, but I’ll do it just for you, Mr. A. See you tomorrow!”

“Bye, buddy.” Virgil calls as the kid disappears. He pulls out his phone and sends Roman a quick message.

[Virge]: Blabbermouth just came and apologized. Promised not to blabber. I don’t know if I trust it, but I guess it helps.

[Ro]: wow

Nice

It’ll be okay

And if it’s not I’ve got your back, okay? Don’t stress.

[Virge]: Thank you, Roman.

Virgil sighed for the last time and put his cellphone away. He picked up his favorite dark purple grading pen and pulled out the American Lit. kids’ written responses, gearing himself up to grade by playing his Grading Playlist from Spotify on his personal laptop.

Everything will be okay.

Again, sorry if it’s not as crazy as you wanted or is really too neat, but a lot of students I interact with as was around as a student were chill, so. Yeah.

[dancing-with-dichotomies]

“Lone Pearl Cowgirl” Ch5 update/Important mentions

I've been feeling... Pretty super horribly awful down lately, like bottom of the bottom... Been fighting several things at once. A persistant seasonal depression, probably. My massive damn writing block that's haunted every single thing I've tried to write all this damn year, and part of the last too. My damned body that just Won't. Stop. Hurting. EVER...

And my abusive family, my family that is literally in a damn cult, my family that "lowkey" supported the second-coming of the worst kinds of evil, even though not a small portion of our family once escaped that... Them holding me down, manipulating me knowing I am disabled, isolating me all my life and using me...And I can only hope that being able to live away from them won't just be a dream when I'm disabled but can't get disability, live in one of the priciest damned states in the country, and my parents keep sabotaging me and using me and manipulating me. I've tried to claw myself away from them. It hurts to keep seeing them selfishly sabotage me and having others judge me. So much of my life hurts, but especially lately, around winter, around my birthday... And they always actively dunk on me harder around my birthday...

That, plus my pain increasing, and... and, and, and... Well, you probably already get it if yer one of the ones who even really cared, so I won't go on if yer not, but...

Anyways I feel like it so I wanna tell the people who REALLY helped me to survive what was one of the worst bouts of depression I've had in years, even knowing I generally get depressed periodically... You guys are really the ones who made a difference this time and you should know it.

crappy-crapolice  -- Change yer nickname already, Crappy. Yer the awesomest. XP XD Really dude, most of the time we just BS and have fun with various fandom shit, but you've seen me at my lowest points not just once but a few times, seen me get paranoid and doubt you a few times, but you've always been so patient and amazing about reminding me that it's my mental illness making me think/believe those things. And you've always been so great at reminding me when I need those reminders, but without judging me or shaming me. You've been so nice about really listening to my issues and realizing how many struggles I face that the average person doesn't, how I get way less help, way more demands, and way more obstruction than the average person, and you've showed me real sympathy instead of the usual "get over it already, nobody cares about what happened in your past only that you can contribute in the present" or "I'm sorry that happened to you, but also this bores me, can't we just talk about nice things 24-7..." type 'sympathy' most people settle for all too quickly... You've been the one to remind me of my own limitations when most people don't even want to hear about it, won't even let me finish before they judge me. Most just settle for assuming that someone in a bad position must deserve it. That they're not working hard enough or something. You're one of the few that really understood... Because you're one of the few who really listened long enough and didn't just blow me off or dismiss me. You treated me like I'm still a normal human being even when I've been in the midst of going kinda crazy from the stress, and that's what's managed to bring me back sometimes... Also, I hardly ever even TALK about the fandom we started out in anymore, I actually kinda dislike that fandom more than not after it all was over with, and you've still treated me like a friend. A lot of people would just drift away if you weren't interested in their fandom anymore. But you care about not just my other fandom interests too, but my original work. That really means a lot to me, NOT-Crappy. Thanks, dude. <3

Iris - People like you give me hope for the future. You work so incredibly hard for such a selfless cause. People even really mistreat doctors where you're from, and you're still determined to make it your life mission to heal and save and educate as many people as you can. Of course like I've told you to, you need to remember to make time for yourself! But I'm so incredibly grateful you've made time for me too... Again, we fandom BS a lot, but we also talk about the heavy stuff too, and I wanna let you know I appreciate it, that it helps make it feel lighter about it overall and I hope you do too. You always really listen and talk with me, have answered questions I've had, and are concerned about how I'm really feeling, instead of just rushing to cover up my troubles. It's doubly impressive that you manage to be so patient when you work so long and so hard. I have some pretty bad issues with feelings of being abandoned and "disappeared", so I really especially appreciate you talking me through that. It's also super impressive to me that despite us having a couple times where we both kinda unintentionally offended the other saying things that didnt quite come out right over the keyboard, that we managed to talk to each other about how we felt about it and clarify that no harm was meant. I know you're really busy and sometimes a while goes by where we don't talk, and even still it's easy to trust that you wouldn't just disappear on me, and that you'd really care if I truly disappeared too... I just want you to know. You're not just a My Hero-fan, you're a legit real life hero to me and I know to a lot of other people too. <3 <3

closet-cryptid/Michelle - We sometimes go a while without talking nowadays, I know we both know how hard it is with a little one, and that yer net sometimes goes in and out. But again, yer one of those friends I trust enough that it doesn't  matter. It actually amazes me even more because there was a time where we had a pretty big disagreement to say the least, and both said some pretty harsh things. I was fully prepared to burn our bridge of friendship, but to my deep surprise, you actually apologized some time later, and I did too, and I feel like we're better friends for it now. And again, yer one of those people who don't just  try to cover up troubles with fandom. We have our fun fandom discussions, but you've always been really willing to listen and really be sympathetic when I need to be sad too, you care about the real me and not just the me that made content for the fandom, and that's why we're still around to still putz about the fandom junk too. IZ FOREVER! XD (and I hope you and your sisters feel better too <3)

csp124 - Yer a newer friend, but yanno, you've proven to be a good one. Again, we can putz about fandom junk or other fun stuff, but you've been truly understanding about allowing me to talk about the bad junk that's been worrying my mind so much lately. You've been really helpful especially lately because you didn't just give up on me because my illness wouldn't let me stop "being negative" for a while, as some people reduce it to. Even though I didn't want to look on the bright side for a while, you kept bringing it up to me. It took a while, others gave up on me and got frustrated or angry with me, but you're one of the ones who kept being positive when you knew I -couldn't-, not that I just -wouldn't-, and understanding of my darkness too...

unified-multiversal-theory - Everybody here has helped me along a lot in various ways this year, but you've shown a special interest in my original work especially that really helped give me the inspiration I needed to get this latest chapter done. I feel so proud and relieved to have gotten chapter five finally done, and have more hope than I have in a while that the rest might be possible too. It's really deeply disheartening, a whole new level of isolation and depression, when so many people time and again, even other creators you'd hope would get it or at LEAST encourage you a LITTLE instead of being overly critical, especially those that get heaped with praise themselves, either ignore you completely/never give you a chance or even tear your creations down, claiming that they're trying to be "helpful/constructive". It's not that I can't handle constructive criticism, but I can recognize my characters being torn down by someone who is being overly critical because they dont really care one whiff about my work and REAL, ACTUAL -constructive- criticism like the kind you gave me, where you actually found a few errors that, while it depressed me for a moment to realize I had forgotten something so silly and needed to rewrite almost a while page because of it lol, IT ACTUALLY HELPED ME FINALLY FINISH THE DANG CHAPTER INSTEAD OF PARALYZING ME WITH DEPRESSION AND FEAR ABOUT MY ENTIRE WORK. You actually discussed my ideas and plot in detail and that's been so incredibly helpful. I know like Iris yer busy, so I wanted to say thank you for taking the time to help me with this especially. This work means more than a lot to me, a lot of people just blow it off like a silly story but it's SO much more than that. Helping me with this has really improved my outlook on life lately. I know everyone knows I love and live for my daughter, that she's the reason I keep existing... But she's not the reason I was made to exist in the first place. I feel like this story and her sister-stories are. Sometimes I confuse it because everything is confusing in this world, and because there's a sea of people who think the crazy shit Christians and Muslims and men in general do makes sense but somehow I'M the really crazy one, but... Just, thanks. I just feel a lot saner now that I made progress on something that means so much to me, and to know there's at least a few people out there who also really take interest in and appreciate it. <3

itsmorethanjustafantasy - We actually don't talk too much at all lol, here and there we talk a bit about fandom, but yanno... I just wanted to mention again how nice I think you are for sending people holiday well-wishes. Growing up with 90+% of my family in the Jehovah's Witnesses cult, and because of how sick I was growing up, my birthday and other holidays were especially hard times for me. Always on the outside looking in. Trained to tell other people it didn't matter and reject any holiday wishes or gifts given to my face when they were around, but deep down always feeling so lonely and isolated and excluded. You're one of those people who just out of the blue wishes people well on the holidays. For most people it's probably just nice. I just wanted you to know it did a little more for me though. It was nice to do for me, but it also made me feel included, and like someone remembered me. Thank u for that. Belated Happy Halloween, and upcoming Merry Christmas!

In general, there were a few other people that popped in when I was temporarily mad with grief and pain and helped talk to me about the rough stuff, bookrebelwordwarrior, kendallandherstuff, and a handful of others, sorry if it's been a while and I forgot anyone specific, but yeah. To everyone who really helped me and and didn't just give up on me, who not just remembered the good in me, but helped me to eventually see it again too, and help that goodness actually -grow-... Help bring out what -I- feel is really the best of me, not what others want me to be... Thank you. I can't say I'll never be depressed again, I've seen too much and there's so much stacked against me, but I'll try my best to keep trying, to keep believing progress is possible even when it feels like your life is currently stagnant and there's an ocean of people who don't care if you die or that you even ever existed. It's sad that there's so few, but life is just barely bearable when people really show they care. <3

So, consider this latest chapter of Lone Pearl,  "Faithful Phil and the Martyred Mother", dedicated to you guys. <3

https://archiveofourown.org/works/20041537/chapters/51013765

[thisbibliomaniac]

Been a while since I’ve done this so all the asks please and thank

You’re lucky I love you 🙄 1: How tall or short do you wish you were? I’m perfectly average, and I’m good with that

2: What’s your dream pet? (Real or not) A tiger 🐅

3: Do you have a favorite clothing style? Classic 50’s / 60’s

4: What was your favorite video game growing up? Mario kart

5: What three things/people do you think of most each day: My religion, my work, and whatever fiction (book, show, etc) I’m into at the time

6: If you had a warning label, what would yours say? WARNING: DON’T ASK ABOUT HER CATS

7: What is your opinion on [insert person/thing here]? Need a person/thing dude

8: What is your Greek personality type? [Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Choleric, or Melancholic] Uhhhhhh idk it’s in my bio

9: Are you ticklish? No

10: Are you allergic to anything? Maybe??¿?

11: What’s your sexuality? Straight

12: Do you prefer tea, coffee, or cocoa? TEA

13: Are you a cat or dog person? Cats

14: Would you rather be a vampire, elf, or merperson? Elf

15: Do you have a favorite Youtuber? Crowder

16: How tall are you? 5'5"

17: If you had to change your name, what would you change it to? Anything, I hate my name. I’d ever prefer if it were the French spelling

18: How much do you weigh? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!] No idea tbh

19: Do you believe in ghosts/spirits? In the biblical sense 😂

20: Do you like space or the ocean more? Space

21: Are you religious? Very much so

22: Pet peeves? Audible chewing / breathing / snoring

23: Would you rather be nocturnal or diurnal [opposite of nocturnal]? Diurnal

24: Favorite constellation? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

25: Favorite star? How?

26: Do you like ball-jointed dolls? I guess

27: Any phobias or fears? Oh yes

28: Do you think global warming is real? Nope

29: Do you believe in reincarnation? No

30: Favorite movie? Sabrina 1995

31: Do you get scared easily? No

32: How many pets have you own in your lifetime? Family pets? Many. Mine own? Snuggles, and technically part of Stitch

33: Blog rate? [You’ll rate the blog of the one who’s asking.] 23/30

34: What is a color that calms you? Pink

35: Where would you like to travel and/or live? Paris

36: Where were you born? Ohio

37: What is your eye color? Brown

38: Introvert or extrovert? Introvert

39: Do you believe in horoscopes and zodiacs? No

40: Hugs or kisses? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

41: Who is someone you would like to see/visit right now? You. Come visit me.

42: Who is someone you love deeply? Obi

43: Any piercings you want? I’d like my second ear piercings back :/

44: Do you like tattoos and piercings? Depends

45: Do you smoke or have you eiver done so? Noooooo

46: Talk about your crush, if you have one! Indians #22 😍

47: What is a sound you really hate? 21 pilots

48: A sound you really love? When Loki sits in the hall and yells

49: Can you do a backflip? Lol no

50: Can you do the splits? LOL no

51: Favorite actor and/or actress? Errol Flynn and Judy Garland

52: Favorite movie? Didn’t I just answer this?

53: How are you feeling right now? Good

54: What color would you like your hair to be right now? I like the color it is

55: When did you feel happiest? Reading

56: Something that calms you down? Crochet

57: Have any mental disorders? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!] LOL probably

58: What does your URL mean? I like books

59: What three words describe you the most? Uh idk you tell me

60: Do you believe in evolution? Noooooooooooo

61: What makes you unfollow a blog? The sight of their url fills me with annoyance

62: What makes you follow a blog? A real person who posts like a real person

63: Favorite kind of person: Lots of people

64: Favorite animal(s): Cats

65: Name three of your favorite blogs. No, too many

66: Favorite emoticon: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

67: Favorite meme: Cow poetry

68: What is your MBTI personality type? Istj

69: What is your star sign? 🌟

70: Can your dog roll over on command, if you have a dog? No, it’s a constant source of amusement

71: What outfit out of all your clothes do you like to wear the most? None

72: Post a selfie or two? No

73: Do you have platform shoes? No

74: What is one random but interesting fact about yourself? I need another MRI!

75: Can you do a front flip? No

76: Do you like birds? No

77: Do you like to swim? Yes

78: Is swimming or ice skating more fun to you? I used to like both!

79: Something you wish didn’t exist: Taxes. Insurance.

80: Some thing you wish did exist: More space

81: Piercings you have? Ears

82: Something you really enjoy doing: Crochet

83: Favorite person to talk to: Stell

84: What was your first impression of Tumblr? Funny

85: How many followers do you have? I’ve been hovering around 1200 for months

86: Can you run a mile within ten minutes? Idk probably not

87: Do your socks always match? Never

88: Can you touch your toes and keep your legs straight completely? Uhhh idr? Maybe

89: What are your birthstones? I think Pearl?

90: If you were an animal, which one would you be? Cat

91: If a flower could aesthetically represent you, what kind would it be? Plumeria

92: A store you hate? Menards and I’ve never even been there

93: How many cups of coffee can you drink in one day? None!!!!

94: Would you rather be able to fly or read minds? For

95: Do you like to wear camo? No

96: Winter or summer? Winter

97: How long can you hold your breath for? No idea

98: Least favorite person? Rory

99: Someone you look up to: Elinor dashwood

100: A store you love? Earth fare

101: Favorite type of shoes D:

102: Where do you live? Ohio

103: Are you a vegetarian or vegan? If so, why? Nope! 104: What is your favorite mineral or gem? Turquoise? 105: Do you drink milk? Sometimes. A2 low temp 106: Do you like bugs? NO 107: Do you like spiders? NOO 108: Something you get paranoid about? SPIDERS 109: Can you draw: No :( 110: Nosiest question you have ever been asked? “Can you draw?” Oh also, “Why no ring?” By a patient I did not like. 111: A question you hate being asked? “How do you feel?” Hate it a lot. 112: Ever been bitten by a spider? Yes :/ 113: Do you like the sound of waves at the beach? Yes 114: Do you prefer cloudy or sunny days? Cloudy 115: Someone you’d like to kiss or cuddle right now: Obi, my puppy 116: Favorite cloud type: Uh. White? 117: What color do you wish the sky was? Pink 118: Do you have freckles? Some. Not as many as id like 119: Favorite thing about a person: Sense of humor 120: Fruits or vegetables? Both!!!! 121: Something you want to do right now: Get some work done, but SOMEONE needed every question answered 122: Is the ocean or sky prettier? Sky 123: Sweet or sour foods? Both 124: Bright or dim lights? Both 125: Do you believe in a certain magical creature? Dragons 126: Something you hate about Tumblr: The users 127: Something you love about Tumblr: The users 128: What do you think about the least? I think about most things a lot 129: What would you want written on your tombstone? That’s one to think about. Suggestions? 130: Who would you like to punch in the face right now? Me. No, whoever invented insurance. 131: What is something you love but also hate about yourself? Everything, but mostly hate 132: Do you smile with your teeth showing for pictures? Yes, because as bad as that is, the alternative is unthinkable 133: Computer or TV? Computer 134: Do you like roller coasters? No 135: Do you get motion sickness or seasickness? No 136: Are your ears lobed or attached? ?? 137: Do you believe in karma? No 138: On a scale of 1-10, how attractive would you say you are? -6 139: What nicknames do you have/have had? N/A 140: Did you have any pretend or imaginary friends? Yes 141: Have you ever seen a therapist/shrink? No 142: Would you say you are a good or bad influence to others? Good I hope 143: Do you prefer giving or receiving gifts/help? Giving 144: What makes you angry Politics, and people who insist on talking about them when you’re really not in the mood 145: How many languages do you speak fluently? None 146: Do you prefer boys, girls, and/or non-binaries? What 😂😂😂😂 147: Are you androgynous? Hahahahhaahhaha 148: Favorite physical thing about yourself: None 149: Favorite thing about your personality: Definitely none 150: Name three people you would like to talk to right now in person. There’s so many questions here 151: If you could go back into time and live in one era, which would you choose? 1890 152: Do you like BuzzFeed? No 153: How did you meet your spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend/partner? [If you have one.] I didn’t 154: Do you like to kiss others’ foreheads or hands for platonic reasons? No idea 155: Do you like to play with others’ hair? No 156: What embarrasses you? Second hand embarrassment 157: Something that makes you nervous/anxious: Being late 158: Biggest lie you have ever told: Idk 159: How many people are you following? A lot 160: How many posts do you have on your blog(s)? Lots 161: How many drafts do you have on your blog(s)? So many 162: How many likes do you have on your blog(s)? Uhhh 163: Last time you cried and why: No 164: Do you have long or short hair? In between 165: Longest your hair has ever been: Very long 166: Why do you like, dislike, or have neutral feelings about religon? Depends on the religion 167: Do you really care how the universe and world was created? Extremely 168: Do you like to wear makeup? Yes 169: Can you stand on your hands or head for more than thirty seconds? No 170: Did you answer the questions you were asked truthfully? Yes Happy?

[fightevilandthengetblownup]

CHAT: Anna+Ruby ALL

#1 - Anna and Ruby post Grey and Anna fighting in the alleyway; starts with Ruby and Lilith arguing, followed by Ruby targetting Anna

<Anna> *Lilith smirks at her leaning back against the wall* “You know it was cute seeing you trapped like that and by that fallen angel no less.”

<Jo> “What can I say, I learnt cockiness from somewhere not altogether bright, Lilith.” *Ruby gives a silent sigh* “What are you doing here?”

<Anna> “Oh nothing just watching you huff about. What’s the matter can’t find her?”

<Jo> “Why do I truly not believe that? And as a matter of fact I can’t. Seemingly the angel or whatever is left in her has disappeared.”

<Anna> *In a sing song voice* “I know where she isssss.” *Lilith smirks even more at Ruby.* “Infact I know that right now, the angel is laying in the emergency room of hospital after someone found her laying in an alley.”

<Jo> *Tilting her head to the side, Ruby looks at Lilith skeptically* “You’re saying that that scheming little bitch of an angel is lying useless and vulnerable in some hospital without that crazy watchdog keeping guard and you just happen to know where? That sounds almost too good to be true, Lilith.”

<Anna> “Gray’s twin found her and she mouthed off to him. It was an amusing show, very much a bonus since I was only after him.”

<Jo> “The other shadow? Mr. Weak-Monster-Eater himself took out the angel.” *Ruby smirks slightly, pondering to herself that she didn’t end up with a complete weakling on her blackmal cards* “What were you after him for? I would have thought you’d be after some Heavenly revenge after Gabriel had you pinned for so long.”

<Anna> “Oh I’ve taken care of Gabriel. I was celebrating and going to have some fun with the monster. Instead I got to watch him drain that little angel and kick her around a bit.”

<Jo> “Uh huh. …Any chance you’ll tell me where I could go kick her around myself?”

<Anna> “Normally I wouldn’t but since Grey said he wouldn’t feel bad if you killed her, I want to see if that’s true.” *Smiling Lilith tells Ruby the town name and the hospital, that the nurses had contacted Jo and they were waiting for the hunter to get there*

<Jo> “Of course you do. Now if you don’t mind, I’m going to go see what amounts of revenge I can get out before the little blonde slut shows up. And if I’m walking into a trap Lilith…” *Ruby shoots the other a look even though she can sense the other is back up and fighting, before zapping away to Anna’s bedside*

<Anna> *Lilith chuckles leaving, there was a daycare near by and she felt like having a snack*

<Anna> (So cute Ruby is paranoid of traps now)

<Jo> *Ruby comes in easily to find Anna in an empty semi-private room, something hunters seemed to try and get a hold of so it was understandable whatever Anna was covered with would do the same* “Wake up angelbitch. Or maybe I’ll try out my defibulator skills.” *Ruby flicks through the chart saying Anna wasn’t in a coma at least, as she waits for the other to react*

<Jo> (Lol she is just a tad. Damn Anna)

<Anna> *Anna remembers when someone found her, she had tried to get them to not call 911 but she was slurring and the fact she couln’t stand up and walk made it useless, a few hours later and a few shots of sedation she had been cleaned, changed into a gown and examined..she was simply waiting for the last shot to wear off enough she could run when she heard Ruby, reaching weakly for the call button*

<Jo> “Uh uh uh, not this time.” Ruby moves around to catch her wrist, noticing the slight purplish bruising and giving it a nasty tug before jerking the bed rail down and the bed away from the other option* “You and I need to have a little conversation about just where you think you are on the food chain. And I mean that literally.”

<Anna> *Swallowing Anna pushes herself up, the drugs still in her system to numb her she blinks at Ruby..* “You’re trapped..” *She says slowly like she hasn’t fully figured it out that Ruby is actually here and this isn’t some after effect of Grey feeding*

<Jo> “And down came the rain and washed the fires out, so then incy wincy demon came out the devils trap.” *If she were Lilith she would have been singing, but Ruby just speaks boredly, leaning her forearms on the end of the bed now Anna cant call for help* “Now, it’s your chance to get a little taste of your games.”

<Anna> “Jo..they called her, she’ll be here any moment.” *Anna isn’t sure when Jo will be here, she moves to try and stand up wincing as they braced her ankle where she twisted it trying to get away from Grey.* “Nurses and doctors will be in soon too.”

<Jo> “Unlikely. See, I, unlike a lot of demons, happen to know the score between you two and I don’t think Barbie will be rushing any time soon to help you Kelley.”

<Anna> “Go back to hell” *Anna looks around for her bag, reaching to pull the IV out of her arm.*

<Jo> *Ruby shakes her head, barely containing a cruel laugh at Anna’s attempts to move before going to the side not tugged down and reaching for the velcro straps holding the mattress to the bed frame and quickly rips them off and straps down Anna’s wrists together to the railing* “Not so fast. Like I say, its your chance to realise what you do to others. Or maybe the little monster did that for you

<Jo> already, hmm?”

<Anna> *Anna struggles are weak as Ruby forces her back down and she can’t help but feel her heart race as she straps her arms down, the heart monitor giving away her fear as it beeps faster.* “I don’t do anything, you all get what you deserve..demons..monsters..”

<Jo> “Angels.” *Ruby snaps back at her, whipping out a hand automatically to hit the other woman across the face before turning to the heart monitor and pulling the back out of it to avoid a passing nurse hearing for the time being, expecting one to come in soon enough to find out the issue* “Maybe we wouldn’t treat you so bad if you’d learn /you’re/ place and what /you/ deserve.”

<Anna> *Anna’s head jerks to the side feeling the blow, she can taste blood in her mouth and takes a deep breath* “My place? Even at it’s lowesst is above you.” *Twisting her wrists she tries to get the velcro to come loose but it isn’t and she looks around the room for anything she can use, kicking out with her leg, knocking over a table, hoping to make enough noise to get someone’s attention*

<Jo> *Giving a sigh, Ruby snaps out her hand again to grab Anna’s chin and cheeks with one hand, looking blankly at her* “That’s right, I’m just a demon. Which means any human that comes in here to check on you will be dead before they can let a scream out, because I just don’t care. But that doesn’t mean I’m below an abomination like you.”

<Anna> “Just kill me, get it over with.” *Anna glares at Ruby, her head more clear now as she jerks again at the straps* “Angels are pure, humans are pure..you’re the abomination, a perversion of everything God made. Filth, trash..” *Anna thinks that if she can talk long enough she will be able to provoke Ruby to killing her*

<Jo> “And yet you’re neither an angel or a human. You’re /nothing/.” *Looking blankly back at the other, Ruby moves around to open and shut the draws of the little medical cart in the room, obviously looking for something in particular* “And that’s worse than what I am.” *Turning back to the redhead, Ruby approaches, pulling the safety cap off of a scalpel and pressing her thumb against it to test it*

<Anna> <Jo> “And yet you’re neither an angel or a human. You’re /nothing/.” *Looking blankly back at the other, Ruby moves around to open and shut the draws of the little medical cart in the room, obviously looking for something in particular* “And that’s worse than what I am.” *Turning back to the redhead, Ruby approaches, pulling the safety cap off of a scalpel and pressing her thumb against it to test

<Anna> (woops, making a fan mail lol)

<Jo> (LOL its cool)

<Anna> *Anna watches Ruby, breathing deeply, trying show herself as calm like an angel would be.* “I’m still better than you, I’ve been greater than you. Remember what Alastair called you, just a slut, a whore.. Even demons think you are nothing.”

<Jo> “And yet I’m alive, and he is dead. Funny the way the world works.” *Pulling her thumb off when it starts bleeding, she presses the pad of it against Anna’s forehead before dragging it along her nose in a disjointed line much like a surgical marker* “You play the angel card, but really you’re closer to something worse than I am these days. Fuck enough beasts you’ll start acting like one.”

<Anna> *The touch of a demon is digusting but the feel of the blood is worse, the corruption of the human the demon is in and it makes Anna shudder* “Already an abomintion according to you.” *Kicking out she bites her lip, her ribs sore from Grey kicking her as she tries to kick Ruby* “How many years did you last in hell before you started throwing yourself at your torturers to get free?”

<Jo> *The second Anna kicks out, though it lands against her hip bone in a way that /would/ have hurt if it werent for the awkward angle and lacking force, Ruby spins the blade to poin downwards in her fist before stabbing it into the top of Anna’s thigh and twisting, as she continues to dot blood line down her chin and onto her neck* “You are indeed. And much longer than you lasted against the

<Jo> weakling monsters. And seemingly Crowley if your neck means anything.”

<Anna> *Anna screams  as the scalpel enters her leg and it gets louder as Ruby twists it. She hates Ruby bringing up hte marks Crowley made on her as she pants through the pain, feeling Ruby making her trail of blood dots, her skin crawling with each one.* “Crowley has never touched me like that.”

<Jo> “Maybe not like that, but I’m sure he’s touched you. Not as thoroughly as that monster has, but then again, I doubt anyone has.” *Jerking the scalpel out of Anna’s leg, Ruby vanishes only to appear on the opposite side of Anna’s bed where the railing was down and she could see the neck mark clearer* “How about I do you a little favor and fix that up for you, hmm?” *Without waiting, she grips onto

<Jo> Anna’s jaw and presses the blade against her neck cutting lightly in three lines across the word, just enough to break up and scar over the scars rather than cut a vein*

<Anna> *Anna tries to jerk her head, to drive the blade deeper, still believing if she was dead it would be better.* “Fucking bitch, I hope Crowley knows you are breaking them and comes to kill you. Maybe I’ll call for him, sure he would want to know that some trash demon is messing with his favorite pet!” *Blinking Anna glares up at Ruby through tears that are starting to run down the side of her face*

<Jo> *That finally gets a chuckle out of the demon, shaking her head as she works and gives the ‘angel’ a cold grin* “I think you vastly over estimate his interest in worn out toys. If his last little pet was able to break you so bad, I doubt he’s going to really care about a few scratches here and there. 'Course, trying to kill yourself isnt going to help either.”

<Anna> *Anna jerks again hard, Ruby’s expression starting to make her angry and she pulls at the straps holding her wrists before starting an exorcism, maybe this she thinks will provoke the demon to killing her*

<Jo> *The second she starts up with the exorcism again, Ruby slaps her hand out again and again across the others face before pausing a second and reaching to grab the others tongue* “Stop those infernal attempts to exorcise me or I will make it so whatever your little monster likes using you for will be a waste of his time.”

<Anna> *Anna stops long enough to bite as hard as she can onto the fingures Ruby has in her mouth to grab her tongue, the moment she can she begins again, it’s not the fast exorcism but it’s the most painful she knows and she glares up at Ruby*

<Jo> *Ripping her fingers away, she lets out a snarl as the exorcism starts again, having been ignoring it last time before she jerks her hand down and stabs the scalpel into Anna’s stomach with a painful jerk from the attempts* “I’d shut up before.. I carve you like.. Lilith does babies on Thanksgiving. You’re in a hospital, you’ll get help before you could die.”

<Anna> *The pain in her stomach stops her as Ruby screams at her about Lilith and she chokes some gasping as she wants to put her hands down to stop the bleeding feeling the blood soak into the grown, adding to the blood that’s already on the gurney from her leg* “Did..you fuck Lilith too? Or just Alastair?”

<Jo> “Demons lie, you fucking bitch.” *Ruby shakes her other arm to get rid of the pain from the exorcism before pulling the scalpel out of the other with a slick noise.* “Make up your mind, you want me gone or you want me to talk about Lilith and Alastair?” *She reaches out for Anna’s hospital gown, wiping as much blood off the blade as she can*

<Anna> *Anna whimpers feeling the blade slide out of her stomach, she’s shaking now and she swallows looking at Ruby.* “Want you to kill me. Course listening to you talk is a slow death and torture combined. When you were manipulating Sam, was it to free Lucifer or did you enjoy making him into a fool?”

<Jo> “I’ll think about it, though slow and tortuous is soundly lovely.” *Ruby sneers down at her for a moment before setting the scalpel just out of Anna’s reach, as though testing her to see if she’d try to attack her or try to kill herself first second she gets to escape* “I did what I did because it kept me alive. I’m not Lilith or Alastair, or Azazel or even his Golden Girl Meg, or any of the other

<Jo> big namers. I’m just a demon whose the best at staying /alive/ through any means necessary and who could outwit, outlast, out-you know the rest any of the other demons on the island that is Earth alongside the hunters. I was the only one who would live through it, and it was the only way I was going to continue living.”

<Anna> *Anna gives a painful laugh* “So your'e nothing..just..doing whatever you can to survive. A useful piece of trash that knew how to get into a desperate human’s pants. Pathetic..” *Anna smirks weakly at Ruby eyeing the scalpel and she pulls on the straps seeing if she can reach her fingers out to it.*

<Jo> “I’m better than all of them though, don’t you get it? I was the best, I /am/ the best. Because I’ll keep existing while they all drop like flies. I win the game, which you’re going to join the pile of losers soon enough.” *Ruby gives a shake of her head, zapping across the room to the medical cart again, digging through it for a few items, stashing them in her coat, before zapping to the bed end*

<Anna> “Best who gloated and got herself killed with her own blade.” *Anna breathes slowly through the pain in her middle, she coughs and it hurts, she can’t tell if the blood she tastes is her own or Ruby’s where she bit her, the taste of demon hasn’t left her mouth yet.* “You should have did your duty and enjoyed the victory from a distance.”

<Jo> “Learn from your mistakes, also, like I gave a fuck. I’d already outlasted all but Meg - and that little viper is likely to see the next Apocalypse come and go with the way she spreads herself about. Course, I’ll see it with her this time around.” *Sighing, Ruby crosses her arms and slides a hand out to catch one of Anna’s ankles and jerks her towards her as a way to twist the others wrists*

<Anna> *Whimpering as Ruby jerks her down, leaving her in a awkward position, painful as the stab wound in her stomach is pulled on.* “You’re still boasting…didn’t learn the lesson well enough, you need to be taught it again”

<Jo> “Maybe, but you’re not going to be the one to teach it.” *Giving the other a small glare, Ruby digs into her pocket, pulling out another scalpel and driving it into the side of Anna’s uninjured ankle, right towards the back behind the ankle socket and bone, with a small look of glee*

<Anna> (did she just cut the tendon??)

<Jo> (I believe so yeah.)

<Anna> (ILU RUBY)

<Jo> (LOL WHY?!)

<Anna> (she’s making lilith all warm and dewy)

<Anna> *The pain explodes up the back of her leg, Anna tries to jerk her foot away but it doesn’t move, hanging limp as Ruby stands there holding it off the bad, the scalpel scraping against the bone.* “I hope you live..I hope that when everyone is done with you they keep you in an eternity of agony!” *

<Jo> “I hope you live too, angelface. I hope you live through your monster being torn apart by Crowley and his dogs, I hope you live through every friend you know getting burnt alive to a crisp by Lilith in a jealous rage that she didn’t get to finish your prized possession off, I hope you live through your siblings being summoned and slaughtered like the dumb sheep they are, and I hope, more than

<Jo> anything that when this is all over and you have nothing left, that somebody keeps you alive and breathing so you’ll never know the sweet nothingness and escape of death again. Just like you want to get right now.” *Ruby speaks calmly to begin with, her face twisting and voice getting harsher as she goes on, digging and twisting the scalpel in Annas ankle against the bone and what muscle was left*

<Anna> *Anna is twisting, on the bed, her body jerking everytime Ruby digs the blade into her leg.* “Kill myself first..” *She can’t speak, her breath catching as she screams when Ruby digs the tip of the scapel in between the bones, finding the nerves, her leg jerking as she tries to get it away*

<Jo> *Giving the metal another sharp twist, she jerks it out before moving around the side of the bed, running a hand up Anna’s calf as she does until she’s at her knee, gripping it tightly and angling the scalpel just against the gap between the join and her knee cap* “You say that like you’ll be allowed to die.”

<Anna> *Shaking her head Anna closes her eyes, fighting down the feeling of being sick. She wonders if this is what it would ahve been like had the demon ever captured her the first time as she feels Ruby’s hand run over leg, picking it up* “No one cares about me enough to bring me back..”

<Jo> *Trailing the edge of the scalpel around her knee cap, pressing hard enough to break the skin, Ruby gives Anna a withering look* “Some of us hate you enough to.”

<Anna> *Trying to move her leg away from the blade she looks at Ruby* “Good thing you can’t..demons don’t work that way. Get in line behind Crowley if you want to keep me to torture.” *Her breathing is fast as the pain radiates up her leg the muscles spasm as she tries to move her foot*

<Jo> “Careful, careful. You might damage yourself, and that wouldn’t be good at all.” *Ruby gives something which would look like a smile on anyone elses face as she continues to circle Anna’s knee even as her leg jerks, cutting out of the line occasionally like a child’s very focussed attempts at drawing* “As for that - who do you think would keep you alive long enough for that all to happen?”

<Anna> *Ruby’s chiding tone makes Anna cringe, she bites her tongue to stop herself from telling the demon to go fuck herself. The blade is still tracing around her kneecap and everytime  Ruby presses down her leg jerks* “No one would..like you said..not that interesting”

<Jo> “Good thing I have friends in high corrupt places then. I could even convince it was for your own good, I mean, who wants their siblings to die when they could stop it from happening?” *The look on Ruby’s face turns into the widest smirk thus far, the scalpel not leaving Anna’s skin as she moves the blade back down Anna’s calf - pressing deeper the further she gets down*

<Anna> *biting her lip Anna can feel more tears running down ehr face as Ruby runs the blade her leg, feeling it going deeper and deeper but she can’t help but give a broken laugh as Ruby suggests she has an angel on her side.* “Now I know you’re lying..you can’t corrupt an angel, not that good.”

<Jo> “And yet a no-talent monster corrupted you. It’s amazing what you can do when you know how.” *Smiling coldly, Ruby pulls the scalpel away before dropping it on the side of Anna’s bed not near her bound hands before moving towards the heart monitor and turning it back on, the blaring beeping making her scowl*

<Anna> “He didn’t. Wanted him, was tired of trying to live like I was still an angel, wanted to just live.” *Anna is laying back on the bed, her eyes half closed now, her leg where Ruby dropped it not moving as she flinches from the blaring of the heart monitor*

<Jo> *Ruby walks around the head of Anna’s bed, pushing it forward a few inches from the wall as she bend forward over the pillow to look Anna directly in the eye, smile still in place though a little more ferral* “Sound like any brothers of yours we know? Give it time, you’ll see.”

<Anna> *Glaring at Ruby with as much anger as she can summon Anna spits in the face of the demon as Ruby leans over her head* “Gabriel ..you are delusional if you think that.”

<Jo> *Wiping her face, Ruby’s face contorts for a moment before she smirks back at her* “Maybe. But then again, there are plenty of angels in the sky. And you saw how far big brother Lucifer fell, how had do you think it would be to drag another one down, hmm? I think grandly, not delusionally, though like I say - give it time, Anna. Give it time.” *With a flick of her wrist the velcro holding Anna

<Jo> captive vanishes and the rail on the other side of the bed pops up, as there seems to be something the pushed the nurses button* “Good luck, bitch, you’re going to fucking need it.” *And as the nurses start heading in, Ruby vanishes away*

<Anna> *Anna’s nearly unconcious from blood loss on top of the feeding from Grey. She doesn’t fight when the nurses come in only weakly protesting with they start yelling at her, asking her what she had done, how had she managed to go it. She felt them grab her wrists, pads going around them, attaching them to the bed again. She won’t remember the doctors coming in or them taking her off to surgery*

#2 - Anna decided to target Ruby for entertainment and got more than she expected.

<Anna> *smacks Ruby*

<Jo> LOL She’s giving you a grumpy look

<Anna> lol

<Anna> *smacks her again*

<Jo> “….What do you want?”

<Anna> “I’m bored and I figured after you fucked up my leg you owe me some entertainment.”

<Jo> “I figure otherwise. You brought that on yourself, Anna, don’t try to get me into more hit list with your moronic counter part or big brother, okay?”

<Anna> “if I wanted you on a hit list I would have already done it and I don’t have a counter part.”

<Jo> “Oh really? That’s news to me.”

<Anna> “Next time I break up with someone I’ll make sure to tell you first..”

<Jo> “Glad to hear it. What’d you end up doing this time, huh? Did you screw around on this one too? Or was it a case of getting a little too broken the last time we spoke?”

<Anna> “Try none of the above. The honeymoon ended is all.”

<Jo> “So you finally screwed your brain back in the right way? Maybe that little drug spell I heard about actually recorrected that mind of yours”

<Anna> “He was the one that decided it needed to end, I just tossed him out.”

<Jo> “Role reversal then, Anna? What really happened that broke the magic spell, hmm.”

<Anna> “Oh geez you sound like Jo, just more bitchy and that is hard to do.”

<Jo> “Guess that means you’ll be falling in love with me next then. But aside from that, I’m going to go ahead and guess that Prince Charming really was you dressing the toad in a crown and cape yourself before fucking him.”

<Anna> “You know I could just send you back to hell now..”

<Jo> “But you won’t. Because you’re bored and you’ve alienated anyone who even remotely likes you so all that’s left is blind hatred.”

<Anna> “I’m starting to rethink that bored thing..”

<Jo> “No you’re not. You’re enjoying this, and you know it. We used to get along, if you don’t remember, before you joined me in sleeping with a Winchester that is.”

<Anna> “You mean when you were still fooling Sam and feeding him blood to set lucifer free which led to my death.”

<Jo> “When i was still fooling everyone, get it right.”

<Anna> *Anna rolls her eyes*

<Jo> “Oh whatever Anna, either way you don’t want me to go and leave you to be bored and alone once again. You’ll take whatever kind of interest someone can give you. /What ever/ kind.”

<Anna> “You know that I’m not that desperate, I’m going to assume that you’re sticking around because Gabe is through with your skank ass.”

<Jo> “Gabriel has had nothing to do with my ass, I’m sticking around because it’s way too amusing to watch you suffer.”

<Anna> *Anna says the first few words of an exorsicm* “Careful, while you can blow hot air, I can actually make my words sting”

<Jo> *Cringing, Ruby glares at Anna* “Yeah, maybe, but I can make your body hurt much much worse” *With that she directs a kick to the underside of Anna’ foot, right over the ankle*

<Anna> *Anna breathes in as the pain radiates out* “Get in line behind Crowley.”

<Jo> “Crowley? Whats the big bad wolf doing skulking about now, Anna? Did he like my handiwork in slowing down his pets running?”

<Anna> “Oh he wants to thank you specially.”

<Jo> “Well thats just super. Next time you see him, let him know that if he wants something to be his, he should piss on it first, just like the rest of nature. Not sure you’d enjoy that though”

<Anna> *Anna begins to say more of hte exorcism* “"or maybe you should think twice before going around and pissing off the demon with all the souls.”

<Jo> *Giving Anna a look, Ruby kicks at her foot again before stomping her boot down across the top of Anna’s foot as well* “Keep the exorcisms up and I’ll see what fun I can have with the other leg, you get me? As for pissing off demons, he hasn’t caught me yet.”

<Anna> *Anna moves back, stumbling till she’s sitting on her bed, rubbing her hand over the cast.* “Right, like you would be stupid enough to try and break me further knowing Crowley is already unhappy over this”

<Jo> “Who knows, maybe he’s just upset there isn’t any symetry..” *Ruby smirks slightly, following after Anna and quickly jerking her hand up, pulling at Anna’s unharmed leg with her powers before catching her ankle in her hand*

<Anna> *Anna glares at Ruby* “Or maybe I’m just going to  use you as present to him when he comes back.” *She tries to pull her leg away from Ruby, keeping her expression calm even though she can feel her heart racing*

<Jo> *At Anna’s jerking, Ruby digs her fingers into each side of her ankle, fingernails popping the skin with the force as she looks down at the other’s glare with a smirk* “Maybe. But I’m thinking this might be to your advantage as well.”

<Anna> *Anna hisses as Ruby digs her fingers in, she’s starting to shake and she can’t hide it* “How is this to my advantage?”

<Jo> *Her smirk widens at Anna’s shaking, running her other hand up her calve and back down, knowing just how much the angel hated touch from a demon* “Easy. If you’re broken, then Crowley isn’t going to want to play until you’re back to better. It gives you some time from his highness.”

<Anna> *Her skin crawls as Ruby runs her hand over her leg, swallowing as the demon talks about being broken and Crowley’s idea to simply remove her leg.* “Somehow I don’t think it realy matters to him if i’m broken or not.”

<Jo> “Oh but it does. Unlss he really doesn’t care who plays with his toys and how.”

<Anna> “Why don’t you ask him yourself if he cares then?”

<Jo> “Because, you’re more fun to play with, of course.” *Ruby grins back at Anna, digging her fingers in again after relaxing them as she gives the small apartment a once over with a frown*

<Anna> *Anna stiffens as Ruby digs her nails into the skin again.* “You don’t like the decore? You should get comortable, you’re going to be seeing it for a while till Crowley comes back.”

<Jo> “I don’t think so, Anna.” *Ruby gives the ankle in her grip a firm twist before moving back towards the small kitchenette area, flicking through some drawers* “Whatever trap you made, you made a deal with me to break it.”

<Anna> *Anna gasps as Ruby twists her leg and then drops it to go rummaging through the drawers. She doesn’t think anything is in them since she hasn’t stocked the kitchen* “I did agree to break it. I never said when though.”

<Jo> “I can make you agree.” *Ruby slams the drawer back in when nothing shows up, turning around to approach her again instead, clenching one hand* “I could make you agree to let me out easier than anyone has ever made you agree to anything. I will be allowed out of here before any of your little plans to trap me with Crowley work and theres nothing you can do but let me.”

<Anna> *Anna sitting on the bed she’s pushed herself back to lean against the wall.* “Why are you so special? You think that i’ll agree to you faster than I would Crowley who is a real threat? You really do think high of yourself.”

<Jo> “Oh I do. And do you know why? Because if you don’t, whatever little plans you have going to stop that bastard are to waste. I am the /only/ one who knows about the barbie hunters plan to find that little spell of Crowleys that can get into and out of Hell without capture, and if you keep me here for Crowley to waste then you’ve just fucked over your one chances of stopping this whole ordeal”

<Anna> *Anna tilts her head to the side and she smirks* “What makes you think I want him stopped? That I haven’t said screw all of you and have decided to go with the side that is the sure side to win. I made that mistake before, fighting against the Winchesters, maybe I have learned.”

<Jo> “Because, you wouldn’t have that little broken leg still”

<Anna> “Your logic amazes me.” *Anna shrugs at Ruby.* “Crowley enjoys the suffering but just maybe the more I turn to him the less I suffer and the more you do in my place.”

<Jo> “My logic is correct though. Because you wouldn’t be this nonchalant, and you certainly wouldn’t be speaking as though the whole world is screwed including yourself if you were Team Crowley all of a sudden.” *Ruby sneers down at her, catching her ankle again and twisting sharply* “Though you do seem to jump sides when you jump from cunt to cock … to cock?”

<Anna> *Biting her lip hard as Ruby grabs her again she breathes slowly.* “You’re the only one that sleeps with your enemies whore.” *She’s learned more from Ruby right now though than she’s learned from anyone else about what the plan is and she keeps prying. “So if you’re so important why are you doing the lap dogs work fetching spells?”

<Jo> “That’s true, I still /remember/ they’re my enemy.” *Ruby smirks slightly, usign her other hand to force Anna’s foot back at a bad angle as she looks about for something with enough force for some blunt trauma* “Who do you trust to get the important information? Not the stupid sheep or drones. If you want something done right, do it yourself or get someone better than you to.”

<Anna> *Anna can’t help but yelp as Ruby pushes her foot back and she kicks trying ot get her leg free, the only thing in the apartment is the bed, her bag and the table Jo kicked and broke* “So your the head sheep, the one that goes running off a cliff first in blind panic or who stands there bleeting while you’re stabbed to death.” *Anna refers to her gloating as Dean killed her*

<Jo> *Letting her foot go, Ruby notices the broke table leg, snapped off underneath the rest of it and grins widely* “No, I’m the wolf hanging around with the rest of the bleeters, but unlike the fairy tale, I’m not trying to hide it and I’m not going to get shot again.”

<Anna> “Sure you’re not, you’re going to help do away with Crowley and everyone is going to throw you a parade..” *Anna shakes her head, wondering if ego is a part of every demon or just the type of person that becoems one.* “I’m sure you’ll be dead as soon as Crowley is.”

<Jo> “Who says I will be around then? I’ll drop barbiedoll or your big brother the memo of what they need, and then disappear as always. And by then, they’ll have to watch out for /someone else/ instead from what I’ve heard.”

<Anna> “What do you mean..someone else?”

<Jo> “I mean, why do you think I’m not siding with Crowley?”

<Anna> *Anna starts another part of the exorcism* “What do you know Ruby that you aren’t telling the others?”

<Jo> *Ruby hisses at the exorcism starting again, lunging for the broken chair leg before spinning around and slamming the piece down on Anna’s uninjured knee with a snarl* “What makes you think I’m going to tell you?”

<Anna> *The pain stops her leaving her laying back gasping as Anna blinks trying to breath through the pain.* “Because if you don’t I will give you over to Crowley and this time I’m not bluffing!”

<Jo> *Ruby grins, swinging the makeshift bat with one hand into the other, watching Anna writhe and choke on her breath before shaking her head* “Lets just say, big brothers spells don’t work so well when they’ve been destroyed. And somebody is going to pay for it, sure I might be up there, but I’m too useful to be killed - at least those smart enough to realise it know it.”

<Anna> “Who is going to pay for it? What is this spell Gabe has you looking for?” *Anna is breathing hard, she hadn’t heard anything about this from anyone and she’s feeling even more bitter about being kept in the dark by everyone.*

<Jo> “Completely unrelated, Anna.  Gabriel tried to trap my old boss, and thanks to your master that’s broken again, and while everyone thinks its safe once Crowley is gone - she’ll strike.  And hard.   I personally plan to stay out of her way.” *Ruby swings the wooden leg down on Anna’s leg between sentences, before sighing and giving the other a look* “Barbie has me looking to stop Crowley. So does

<Jo> Gabe, but /he/ wouldn’t pass on any other information like huntress did.”

<Anna> *Anna screams as Ruby hits her leg again and she’s confused, it’s not just the pain making her blury* “Lilith has been free, why would things change once Crowley is gone?” *Her knee is on fire,  she can feel it throbbing with her heart beat as she tries to move away from Ruby*

<Jo> “Because, Lilith was trapped in her meatsuit for /months/.  She’s not going to be happy but isn’t stupid enough to act while Crowley’s around, of course.” *Ruby grins at Anna’s twitching, when she shifts away startng to hit along her calfbone instead* “Or! Maybe I’m just talking out of my ass for the fun of it?”

<Anna> *Anna screams with each hit, she moves her leg in the cast over her other leg in a desperate attempt to protect it.* “Lilith is just a demon, she can be dealt with, Gabe can deal with her.” *Laying on her side she can feel the tears run down her face, she’s not sure if Ruby has broken a bone yet or not, there’s nothing but a radiating pain going up and down her leg*

<Jo> “Just a demon, maybe. But your brother is just an angel, at the end of everything.” *Ruby snorts at Anna’s attempt to protect her leg, smashing the wood on edge down on her casted toes before jerking that leg to the side and instead giving a hard hit to Anna’s ribs instead* “I havent heard any cracks yet, be thankful.”

<Anna> *The blow to her ribs steals her breath as she lays there, her arms wrapping around her gasping for breath. Curling up, her leg starting to show an impressive bruising she breathes hard.* “Angel none of you can kill, angel who you are beating up on his little sister..”

<Jo> “Do I /seem/ frightened?” *Ruby leans in over Anna, grinning widely at her as she presses the end of the leg leg harshly against her ribs*

<Anna> *Gasping Anna quickly starts to say the last of the exorcism, trying to get Ruby to back off* “No but you do seem stupid.”

<Jo> *Ruby gives her a sharp look, bringing the leg down on Anna’s mouth as the painful prickling from the exorcism grows and wracks through her, before throwing caution to the wind and trying to vanish, almost surprised to find she could*

<Anna> *Anna jerks her head back seeing Ruby aim for her head as she feels the wood slam into her mouth just as her head hits the wall. She watches a blury Ruby vanish and she sags down, the taste of blood filling her mouth*

#3 -  Anna tries to sic Ruby on Grey. Ruby plays along...and then does nothing to Grey because #demonyo

<Anna> Anna is thinking about seeing if Ruby wants to go kick Grey’s ass

<Jo> LOL Ruby would prefer kicking Gray’s ass to Grey.  Grey’s on her payroll in contrast. Though she’d not be completely against ruffling his feather’s a little, but she doubts thats what Anna wants

<Anna> no she wants pain and suffering

<Jo> “That I can do. Death however, I won’t be handing out. I might need him”

<Anna> “Whatever, I just want him as useless as he think I am.”

<Jo> “So pretty much like he is now? That’s not asking much”

<Anna> “No I want him suffering.”

<Jo> “…Can I go through Barbie? No I don’t suppose you’d like that. Suffering though, what scale are we talking, your invalid foot for the forseeable future suffering or I no longer have the will to truly live suffering?”

<Anna> “No you can’t touch Jo or anyone else..and will to live, he thinkings hurting now sucks, he hasn’t suffered yet.”

<Jo> “Well thats going to be fun then.. …Any messages I should pass along or just say their from the redheaded witch who can’t stand to do it herself?”

<Anna> “Tell him that Crowley isn’t the one he should be afraid of.”

<Jo> “Speaking of, I’m not going to have him on my tail about breaking both his toys, am I?”

<Anna> “No I’ll make sure Crowley doesn’t go after you.”

<Jo> “Well then. What am I getting in return, Anna?”

<Anna> “I’ll owe you a favor.”

<Jo> “… …/Any/ favor?”

<Anna> “Within reason. What are you thinking?”

<Jo> “Oh, I don’t know. I just like having them up my sleeve. I’ve got a few favors still owed from your brother as it is.”

<Anna> “Well good for you.”

<Jo> “So… a favor if I ask it in future is my end?”

<Anna> “What?”

<Jo> “Did someone knock you around the head? Oh wait, yes I did. In return for making the little monster cry for the next however long until he’s as well suffered as you, I get to ask a favor some day, correct?”

<Anna> “Yes.”

<Jo> “Well then.. Sign me up.”

<Anna> *Anna smirks*

<Jo> “We done here? I have tasks to take care of and you’ve got a bed to be ridden in.”

<Anna> “Oh screw you the bruises hurt but not that bad.”

<Jo> “Oh yes? How about you stand up then? Give us a twirl”

<Anna> *Rolling her eyes Anna stands up looking at Ruby with a raised brow.* “Happy?”

<Jo> *Ruby considers her, stepping back a few paces* “Walk across the room and I’ll leave you be. Even organise someone to.. look out for things for you if you like.”

<Anna> *Anna glares at Ruby, taking several steps, the more she takes the more shakey she becomes but she does it.* “I don’t need anyone. I’m fine..”

<Jo> *Letting out a laugh, Ruby circles around her before pressing a finger right between her collar bones with a smirk* “Okay, back into bed with you. Damage yourself and whatever favor you might be able to do will go bye bye. How about I fetch that knucklehead researcher to keep you company? Or just round up some dumb monster to do so.. I think thats easier.”

<Anna> *Anna turns around and goes back to the bed, sitting on the foot of it, her legs aching now* “Jo’s been coming by, I’m fine.”

<Jo> “Call it insurance.” *Ruby grins a little too wickedly, before holding out her hand* “So, we’ll shake on it this time, okay?”

<Anna> *Anna rolls her eyes again reaching out and shaking Ruby’s hand.* “Fine, we’ve shook on it. Now go make the runt suffer.”

<Jo> “Gladly.” *Ruby lets out a laugh, vanishing away*

#4 - Anna and Ruby making a deal...

<Anna> *Anna spent the morning getting over her hangover at the hospital, she thought the sound of the saw they used to cut the cast off was something they created in hell but then everything seemed better once they looked at the wounds, they had healed but not how they had hoped. She suspected that was Crowley’s doing and she just nodded as they worked with her and fitted a plastic piece around the fron

<Anna> of her leg that would let her walk almost normally. They had set up appointments she wouldn’t go back too and when she left she breathed out, walking slowly. When she got home she thought about Ruby and Jo and she set everything up to summon the demon*

<Jo> *Ruby had been sleuthing about finding just the right pawns for the rest of her plan, double checking everything in such a way she could get this plan to unfold with her seeming innocence in tact when she feels the pull of a summoning. Staring at Anna when she arrives, she gives the other’s worse appearance a look* “So.. want to add another person to your little revenge route now?”

<Anna> *Anna is leaning against the wall when Ruby appears, she’s spent enough time in bed now that the cast is off and she shakes her head.* “No I want you to not go after Grey. I’m going to assume you haven’t because Jo hasn’t screamed at me.”

<Jo> “But, angelcake, I’ve already got everything set up. Ready to go. And I doubt Barbie would be screaming at you about it.” *Ruby almost sulks, not enjoying the idea of being told she needs to abort another game before her eyes flash back to Anna* “Would I still get my favor from you?”

<Anna> *Anna rolls her eyes as Ruby seems to sulk.* “Yes you still get your favor. Just things have changed and it’s for the best right now if you don’t go after him.”

<Jo> *Ruby smiles widely at the confirmation she still gets something, now out of doing nothing, before giving Anna a quizical look, moving around the small space to look out the tiny window* “So… just what has changed that sparked this change of heart? Not fucking the little monster now instead?”

<Anna> *Anna glares pushing off the wall walking away from Ruby.* “No I am not. I was asked to not do anything to him for right now and at risk of loosing hte last person willing to talk to me right now I’m doing what she asks.”

<Jo> “Jo, then. Interesting.” *Ruby lets Anna get a few feet away before disappearing and reappearing in front of her with a smirk* “You know.. my plan was going to include her. Just enough that she’d be a little too shaken up to even think about where this all came from. You’d have been free as a bird, and she might even prefer your company again over that of men.” *Sliding past and around her, Ruby

<Jo> adds quietly, her chin hooked over Anna’s shoulder and whispering in her ear* “Sure you want this over?”

<Anna> *Anna stops wincing as Ruby appears and she listens she breathes deeply..the idea that Jo wouldn’t want Grey around is what she wants and she’s thinking hard about letting Ruby do it but then  she feels Ruby’s chin on her shoulder and the demon is whispering in her ear and she’s snapped out of it.* “Yes I’m sure.” *Shoving Ruby away from her she crosses her arms*

<Jo> *Ruby laughs at the reaction, stepping back with her hands on her waist, smiling widely* “Absolutely sure? Because it’s costing you either way”

<Anna> “Yes I’m sure. Jo has made it clear that the first one of us that does anything else is going to be shot and so far that’s the one thing I’ve never experienced and I would like to keep it that way.”

<Jo> *That answer surprises her, raising an eyebrow at the redhead before nodding her head once* “Okay, sure, I won’t start my little plan. But if you change your mind.. your going to have to pay again”

<Anna> “And what would be the price for next time?” *Anna sighs wishing she had put down traps as she walks back towards the kitchenette, running a glass of water*

<Jo> *Ruby moves freely about the apartment, moving to sit down on the small bed, crossing her knees as she watches Anna* “Protection. From you. Forever.”

<Anna> *Anna laughs as she comes back sitting in the chair that goes to the broken table.* “I think I need more protection from you.”

<Jo> “True, but who knows. Big brother might give you a reboot if you ask him and then maybe you’ll want to get revenge for those little legs of yours. Which I’d rather a gaurantee that that’s not going to happen.”

<Anna> “That won’t happen. Angel isn’t in my future and as for my legs..I’ll get my revenge on you in time.” *Anna takes a sip from the glass*

<Jo> *Ruby smirks slightly, her lip curling up wider as she runs an eye across Anna;s little plastic tubing sticking out from her jeans* “I was just worried about your legs actually. Gabriel would be unlikely to want to make his sister so upset about the whole Grace and falling thing /again/. As for the revenge.. I want to make sure that doesn’t happen.”

<Anna> “I’ve already cashed in all my favors with Gabe. And as far as everything else..well..”*Anna shrugs taking another sip of the water.* “You can try but unless I want to make another deal with you. You won’t get protection from me.”

<Jo> “Glad to hear it then.” *Ruby sighs at Anna’s confirmation that she’d need the other to make another arrangement with her, but figures it was only a matter of time before she’d be interested in starting her little plan on the monster again* “We’ll see then, Anna.”

<Anna> “I’ve already warned Jo to watch out for you so don’t think about doing it anyway Ruby.” *Anna raises an eyebrow at Ruby with a bit of a smirk*

<Jo> “She wouldn’t know it was me if I did anyway, Anna.” *Ruby sneers back at her with a laugh*

<Anna> “Well she would now since I warned her.” *Anna counters right back*

<Jo> “What makes you so sure I was even going to be around when it hapened?”

<Anna> “What makes you so sure Jo wouldn’t summon you and I wouldn’t be around to let you out of that trap. Have you seen what Jo does to monster’s when she’s pissed?”

<Jo> *Ruby stands up, approaching the other and leaning down to look the seated woman straight in the eye with a smirk* “Again, what makes you think she’d know it was me?”

<Anna> “Because I’ll tell her.” *Anna raises a brow not understanding how Ruby is this stupid.*

<Jo> “And I’ll tell her it’s because you asked me to. Otherwise, what reason would I really have to fuck with her and her little boytoy since both are on my payroll?” *Ruby continues smirking, raising an eyebrow in response*

<Anna> “Jo already knows idiot that I started something.” *Anna stands dumping the water she blessed over Ruby’s head.*

<Jo> *Ruby lets out a shout at the water, jerking away from Anna with a scowl before scratching and shaking at her head to get it off before grabbing the corner of the sheet on the bed and using it to dry at her hair* “Doesnt mean you know what you started. And trust me, you wouldn’t like her knowing it was on your original incentive that that was going to happen.”

<Anna> “I’m not sure you understand how beyond caring I’m starting to be right now Ruby. Grey already wants to kill me and that’s fine and if Jo ends up hating me, well that’s just my luck and I haven’t even got to how bad things are with Crowley.” *Anna can’t help but enjoy watching Ruby smoke for a moment as the water burns the demon.*

<Jo> “Well then princess, how bout you tell me and I’ll see if I can’t actualy help out. What with our mutual hatred of that demonic pain in the ass.”

<Anna> “And what is the price for your help with that?”

* STATUS: Online

-

<Jo> “The same price I said, protection from you.”

<Anna> “No, I’m no threat and you know it.”

<Jo> “Doesn’t mean I dont think you may be in the future.” *Ruby shoots her an almost nice smile, though her snide tone betrays it*

<Anna> “I think it’s flattering that you think I have a future.” *Anna sits back down rolling the empty glass in her hands*

<Jo> *Shrugging a shoulder, she sits back down on the end of the bed, continuing to dry her hair and head with a sneer* “What can I say? I think you’d give the guy a good enough kick out of ruining you that he won’;t kill you yet.”

<Anna> “Oh you mean like you tried to do?” *Watching Ruby using her sheets she rolls her eyes* “There’s a towel in the bathroom.”

<Jo> “I tried to what? Kill him? Not likely, I’m not that dumb. Or ruining you? I think you’ve got your papers mixed up, Anna.” *She shoots the other a look at the suggestion, continuing to use the sheet with a smirk*

<Anna> *Anna gets up walking to the bathroom, she can’t believe she’s making small talk with the demon..this is a new level of low for her. Grabbing the towel she throws it at Ruby as she comes back into the room* “I’m refering to the hospital. I assume that one reason you just didn’t kill me. More fun for you to watch me.”

<Jo> *Ruby laughs at Anna fetching the towel, catching it with one hand and looking temptedly at the sheet still before using the towel instead to just triple check she wasn’t going to continue smoking* “Ah. Well, that is true. But more it was a case of your being more useful while still alive.”

<Anna> *Anna shakes her head, the demon thinks she’s still useful. She’s sighs as she sits back down* “So soon as my use is gone then you kill me?”

<Jo> “Why would I bother wasting my time doing that? I just wont talk to you, easy enough.”

<Anna> “True though you’re the one that can be summoned.”

<Jo> *Ruby sighs, tossing the towel behind she’s sure she’s not still got any water on her, giving Anna a sharp look before laughing* “But then you would be annoying. And worth killing.”

<Anna> “Not if you are trapped. I said I would let you out of them, I never said when.” *Anna smirks at Ruby*

<Jo> “I..” *Ruby frowns, staring at her for a second before laughing* “Well well well, you worked out the loophole. Here I thought those drugs might have scrambled your brain enough that it wouldnt have”

<Anna> “Why do you think I agreed to that to begin with?” *Anna glares at her just a  bit for thinking her that stupid.*

<Jo> “Sheer need? Either that or maybe you just wanted a kiss.” *Ruby smirks, leaning back on her hands as she looks about the room again* “So, any reason your face is all rearranged, angelcake?”

<Anna> *Anna reaches up touching one of the bruises from where Gray kicked her and she shrugs.* “Gray and I aren’t talking right now.”

<Jo> *Ruby’s brow shoots up, looking at her interestedly* “Really really? Well. That’s an interesting way to decide upon that type of thing.”

<Anna> “It’s better than the first date you might say. Sorry your weren’t the first to try and take my leg off.” *Anna chuckles some*

<Jo> “Well, looks like we’re well on the way to your being my willing bitch, right?” *Ruby smirks back at her, trying not to laugh again*

<Anna> *Anna glares and crosses her arms* “Keep talking and I’ll start exorsing you just to cause you pain.”

<Jo> “Oh, exorcisms. I like it when you talk dirty to me.” *Her tone is completely flat, looking back at the other*

<Anna> *Tilting her head Anna smiles sweetly and starts to talk to her in Enochian*

<Jo> *Ruby snarls, twitching and holding up a hand* “No. Okay, no thank you. I can’t understand you and that really hurt to listen to.”

<Anna> “It’s Enochian, listen closer” *Anna chuckles*

<Jo> “Doesnt mean it doesn’t hurt, good lord is that what you guys pass off as a language?” *Ruby laughs, shaking her head, not dropping her hand*

<Anna> “What, you never heard your daddy speak it? Alastair and Lilith know it, I guess you weren’t important enough to learn it.” *Anna keeps speaking in the angelic tongue*

<Jo> *Ruby rolls her eyes at her, shifting her hands and lying back, pressing the palms of her heels against her ears at the others talking, getting a few words here and there but little else* “That whole thing is archaic. I’d think if Lilith knew how annoying that damn well sounded she’d be turning all of Hell into a giant sound system playing that gibberish.”

<Anna> “Archaic but effective for sending demons back to hell.” *Anna grins as she speeds up, talking faster now, hoping to reach the end of it before Ruby realizes*

<Jo> *Ruby jerks upwards, looking at her with a snarl* “You want me back in Hell? Fine. I’m going.” *She sneers at the redhead for a second, calling her bluff and wondering to herself what she’s going to do with the broken shell of a girl she was sticking inside of if she continues*

<Anna> *Anna shrugs as she keeps speaking* “Call this payback for the leg.” *She can deal with the body, she’s got used to cleaning up after Gray and resumes her speaking*

<Jo> “Don’t bury the bitch will you? I like this one.” *She shudders slightly as Anna keeps talking, struggling to stay in her body now more than before as the other gets closer to fully springing her out, before Ruby feels the final tug and lets out a scream as she’s pulled out in her true form and sent back down with a burst of lightglobes*

<Anna> *Anna watches the body fall and she wonders how long it will take Ruby to find her way from the bottom pit she sent ehr too. Grabbing a hand she checks the body to see if she’s dead and she sighs barely finding a pulse..dragging the body out to the parking lot Anna calls 911 saying she found the girl coming back from dinner*

#5 - Anna and Ruby discussing collars

<Jo> *Getting out of Hell was getitng both more and less difficult as time went by, Ruby finding more paths blocked but new gaps popping up all the time, and while it took her what could be considered a few weeks to fight and sneak her way out, the time it took to locate her current prefered body ‘up top’ was more frustrating. Smoking out of the intensive care ward, she finds her way back to the

<Jo> angel’s apartment, hell-bent on getting a bit of revenge. The redhead is laying passed out on the bed when she arrives, an occurance Ruby hadn’t had the fortune of seeing yet and kicking her foot sharply against the heel of Anna’s feet she snaps nastily* “Rise and shine, bitch, I wanted to let you know how bad your little plan worked out.”

<Anna> *Anna getting home had went back out after hours of trying to work out a way to get the collar off, coming home again with a bottle she drank until she passed out, shutting her mind off from everything. The kick to her foot barely phased her and the sound of someone’s voice in the room with her has her blinking slolwy as she pushes herself up on her elbows.* “What?”

<Jo> *Ruby frowns at the slow reaction, before noticing the mostly-drunk bottle beside the bed and the blurry reaction, smirking slightly* “Oh I’m sorry, did you not hear me?” *Her voice gets louder as she speaks, a sneer on her face as she moves around near to Anna’s head, almost shouting* “I said, rise and shine you fucking whore.” *She spots the shiny metal around the other’s neck almost instantly

<Jo> once she was closer, though holds off questioning it as she starts tapping the others temple with a finger harshly*

<Anna> *The screaming in her ears is enough to sober her quickly and she tries to push Ruby away, her movements uncordinated and sloppy.* “Go back to Hell, leave me alone Ruby.” *Anna doesn’t want to deal with the demon, she can still hear Grey’s words from last night and she squeezes her eyes shut trying to bat Ruby’s hand away*

<Jo> “Hmmm, only if you come with me too, angelcake.” *Ruby smirks, volume still slightly higher than normal as she avoids the others attempts to avoid her easily* “Now I wonder what sent you to the bottle, Anna. Maybe the shiny new neck piece?”

<Anna> *Anna groans hearing Ruby’s loud tone and she tries to shove the demon away* “Crowley, there happy? Please leave.” *Sitting up she rubs her eyes trying to clear them, she’s not sure if still isn’t a bit drunk as the room sort of spins slowly*

<Jo> “Not in the slightest. You sent me back to fucking /Hell/!” *She shouts again, even if the redhead’s actions worked in her favor, she had no intention of letting her know that, reaching out to slip a finger into the very thin gap between metal and skin, pressing harshly back into Anna’s neck rather than actually being able to fit it, and tugging her forward*

<Anna> “Your the idiot that set there and let me!” *Anna snaps as her head throbs with every word Ruby shouts. She grabs Rubys wrist trying to push her hand away as the demon reaches for the collar, wincing as Ruby’s fingers dig into her skin, nearly falling off the bed at the tug.* “Leave me the hell alone!”

<Jo> *Ruby laughs cruelly at Anna’s flailing, smirking as she catches her with her other hand, twisting the metal ring slightly in curiosity* “But I want to know what’s so interesting about you that crazy fucker gave you a ring. Is your tongue action really that good?”

<Anna> *Anna winces as the collar twists her head leaning to the side* “Crowley is an ass. I’m not that interesting. He did this to Grey too so it’s nothing special!” *Digging her nails into Ruby’s wrist she tries to pry teh demon’s hands off of the collar*

<Jo> “Oh? I’d have to disagree given he kept that monster for quite some time - must be something of use that you both have.” *She smirks slightly, brow raised, beforeshe digs her finger back towards Anna’s throat* “I wonder just what this collar does..” *Ruby’s eyes widen in amusement as she decides to test it, scratching at the inside of the collar with her finger and powers alike*

<Anna> *Whatever Anna is about to say stops as the collar does exactly what Grey said it would do and she tries to scream as her body arches, the shock running down her spine, leaving her seeing stars for a moment in her hungover state*

<Jo> *The second she feels the jolt, Ruby’s tugging her hand away, watching Anna tense and bend as she lets out a strangled scream. Waiting a second, she laughs loudly* “Well. /That/ looks like something /fun/.”

<Anna> *Sitting on the bed, she holds onto the edges as she breathes hard, it only lasted a second but it felt like someone hit her hard and she looks up glaring at Ruby* “Fuck off”

<Jo> “I wouldn’t be getting angry with me right now, angelcake. I could set that off again in a second” *Ruby laughs again*

<Anna> “Fine, what do you want?” *Anna resists the urge to rub her temples, her head is throbbing now and her throat feels sore, like she’s starting t come down with something from the shock*

<Jo> “Well, I was coming for a little revenge, so…” *Ruby doesn’t so much trail off as reach out to press a finger against the metal again, pulling and scratching at it with her powers again, a dark grin on her face*

<Anna> *Anna tries to move away and the next thing she knows is she’s laying on her back blinking up at the ceiling breathing hard* “Fuck you Ruby* "Wincing her throat hurts even more and she glares up at the demon*

<Jo> "No, Anna, thats what that collars supposed to symbolise. Youre the concubine and you’re going to give one hell of a blow job seiving like that in the middle.” *The glare and words basically roll off, Ruby smirking down at Anna almost gleefully* “Your going to be even worse than that little monster ever was, arent you? Cause he delluded himself while youre going to get off in reality, am I right?”

<Anna> *Anna rolls over getting to her feet trying to shove past Ruby unsteadily.* “I’m not listening to you.” *She tries to block Ruby out, to not listen but she can’t and she tenses.* “That’s right I’m going to be a good fallen angel and I’m going to lay on my back and spread my legs because that’s the only way that I know how to keep people safe. There? Happy?”

<Jo> “Is that what you were doing with the other monster all this time?” *Ruby looks at Anna almost knowingly, smile twitching to show as she shoves her back down on the bed with one hand*

<Anna> *Anna looks up at Ruby before looking away* “What other monster?”

<Jo> “Don’t play coy, it’s not befitting” *Leaning down, pinning Anna with a stare, Ruby grins cruelly before speaking as though to a child* “Was that what you were doing with Gray all this time? Laying back and spreading to keep your little friends safe. I’ll bet that was part of it, wasn’t it? If he didnt hurt your pals, you’d let him fuck you til morning light.”

<Anna> *Anna’s fist comes up as Ruby leans down over her and she hits the demon in the mouth* “Shut up! You don’t know anything about what went on with Gray and I. It was never ever like that! *Anna’s pissed, she closes her eyes wiping them as she thinks about Gray.*

<Jo> *Jerking back, she rubs at her mouth before laughing* "I think I hit a nail hard on the head. Even if you can’t admit it. But oh well, I think I’ll leave you to your moping, angelcake, you’ve still got a fair bit of a bottle there” *Smirking, Ruby touches at Anna’s collar again, powers attacking harder this time before she vanishes away*

<Anna> *The pain hits Anna and she lays gasping, glad Ruby is gone and hating everything at the moment. Her hand reaches up feeling the collar and she crawls up into bed, crying herself back to sleep*

#6 - Anna and Ruby make another agreement, this is when Ruby discovers Jo’s knife

<Anna> *Anna sat in her apartment, she had the meds that Jo told her to get for Gray but she hadn’t gone back yet and she hadn’t seen Crowley again. She rubs her hand around the collar and she wonders if Crowley is as powerful as God or if there was a true limit to his power. Standing up she salts off an area and she summons Ruby.*

<Ruby> *Ruby was hoping the further away from Anna the less her collar would shock her - sadly that theory didn’t work, but the people in South Africa were dull enough given she couldn’t understand a word that she didn’t particularly mind staying there. Right up until the summons which has her snarling at Anna the second she appears hissing at the salt line across the part of the room she was in* “What.”

<Anna> *Anna looks at Ruby, she’s openly hostile and she  starts to question it but then she doesn’t, it doesn’t matter.* “I want to talk about finding a limit to Crowley’s power and I need a demon.”

<Ruby> “And I want to fry your ass for whatever bullshit you’ve been doing recently. If I let you do yours, can I do mine?” *Ruby glares back at the other woman, crossing her arms as she tries to work out what on earth she was doing there. if she needed a demon, she could have called endless faceless masses in all honesty*

<Anna> “What is your problem? I haven’t called you in ages.” *Anna stands at the salt line, arms crossed as she stares at Ruby. “Do you want to keep Crowley around? If so I’ll leave you here.”

<Ruby> “My problem is the cat and mouse you’ve been playing with someone - be it Crowley or Sparky or the other one. Quit getting your ass shocked to kingdom come.” *Ruby shrugs a shoulder, not answering as to whether she wanted the supposed king around*

<Anna> “What? What does my being shocked have to do anything? I haven’t talked to you because last time you decided to try it. Why do you think I’m behind a salt line?” *Anna rolls her eyes at Ruby, the demon had worst moodswings than her she thinks. Whatever Ruby’s been doing it’s not her issue.* “Now do you want to work on Crowley or do you want to stay here for a while?”

<Ruby> “Because it’s annoying and painful as all hell that’s what. You can get rid of the salt though, I’m not going to shock you any time soon. Or at all.” *Glaring still, Ruby pokes her foot as close to the salt line as possible, giving Anna a glare* “What did you want, Anna?”

<Anna> “Crowley didn’t like you playing with his toy did he?” *Anna smirks for a moment as Ruby talks about it hurting.* “Crowley once told Dean that deals can do practically anything, it’s basically the most power tool a demon has. I want to know if you can deal away his work.”

<Ruby> *Ruby raises an eyebrow at Anna’s suggestion about her not enjoying the playing, automatically lifting a hand to her neck before dropping it like she’d burnt herself even thinking about the collar around it. The question about deals makes her pause, staring at the other* “Deals /can/ do practically anything, it’s all in the wording and knowing your way around it. What did you want?”

<Anna> *Watching Ruby raise her hand to her neck and she tries to not smile, it’s the first thing in weeks that’s made her actually feel amused about anything.* “Did Crowley give you a presant Ruby?” *She doesn’t elaborate anymore about her idea, if Ruby was wearing a collar then maybe things changed in her original idea.*

<Ruby> *The look of smug amusement sets her teeth on edge, glaring across at the other woman with a heavy sigh* “What did you want, Anna? Anything to fuck over that pompous waste of energy is good in my books.”

<Anna> “Answer the question first Ruby? Are you wearing a collar?” *Anna raises a brow, still smiling as Ruby avoids the question. Bending over she tries to look at Ruby’s neck closer.*

<Ruby> *Anna’s approach just makes the demon step backwards, away from the other woman as the idea her interest might get the better of her little salt lines* “You answer mine.”

<Anna> “I can find out for myself, all I have to do is try and remove mine..” *Anna threatens tapping her collar, she’s not above it and she lifts her chin up as she waits for Ruby to call her bluff.*

<Ruby> “Touch it and I will never help whatever deal plan you have going on. And trust me, other demons won’t touch you with a ten foot pole. I’m your best shot, angelcake, and if you do that I guarantee I will do everything in my power to screw you and your little bitch over.”

<Anna> “So you are wearing one. Interesting.” *Anna smirks as she wonders just how many time Ruby has been shocked. It made having woke up the floor a few times a bit more bearable, the only times she didn’t think it was ever worth it was when Crowley had started her training.* “Do you think deals can undo what he’s done. Angel magic and brute force hasn’t worked on these, I tried for about a week”

<Ruby> “Oh, I know you did.” *Ruby mutters darkly, thinking it over but thinking it would probably end up not working, at least on the collars* “Collars, no. Probably not.”

<Anna> “What about unlocking them? Or giving us the way to unlock them?” *Anna wants to look at Ruby’s to see if it’s different but she can’t se it.* “Let me see yours.”

<Ruby> “No way in Hell, Anna. Mine’s just a little less… possessive than yours.” *Stepping away further until she’s as far as she can go, Ruby hisses the words out, crossing her arms under her chest* “And again, probably not. These are blocked from my abilities, otherwise I would have cracked it off before now. During whatever crazed attempt to kill yourself you were going through.”

<Anna> “So then you’re a coward not even willing to see if we can deal you’re collar off.” *Anna feels herself growing agitated at Ruby’s reluctance, if she can deal these collars off and get Ruby to break the deal she can try again to break what Crowley did to Gray.*

<Ruby> “I’m just not stupid like you. I’ve checked in with the leading expert on getting to walk about looking like a trained monkey, and the only way these things come off is through Crowley. Deal with it.” *Ruby raises an eyebrow at the other, not quite getting how thick the other must be to not understand what she was saying - it’s not going to work*

<Anna> “So you’re great demon powers can give people the ability to find Death, get his scythe but you can’t even try to unlock a piece of metal? Or was that it Crowley was just better than you even as a demon?” *Anna stands at the edge of the salt line as she tries to provoke Ruby into trying.*

<Ruby> “In case you haven’t realised from these babies..” *Ruby points towards her eyes, flashing them black and keeping it that way as she steps closer towards Anna again* “I’m not a crossroads. Sure I can make deals, but I don’t have to - and I sure as hell already know you’re little idea WONT FUCKING WORK ON MY COLLAR SO WHY THE FUCK SHOULD I!” *That Anna was still pushing her was pissing her off enough to scream into the other’s face, glaring darkly as her face flushes in anger*

<Anna> *Anna runs her hand through her hair and she huffs.* “Fine then you’re no use. You won’t even try and to deal for a way to unlock them then get out. Oh wait, you can’t and Crowley will be back eventually.”

<Ruby> “Hold up a second missy. You were trying to suggest to deal /off/ these, not a way /to/ get them off.” *She’s still frowning, voice lowering back down again as she heard the change in proposition, though it also set off another round of anger through her* “Learn to fucking speak and suggest your ideas, angelcake, because to get a way /to/ unlock them, not unlocking them themselves..”

<Anna> *Anna shrugs at Ruby, stepping back from the salt line* “I did speak, getting them off instantly or getting a way to get them off all end in the same result, the collars off. There’s not guarantee that if Crowley dies these come off, if you want to live with them for eternity, go for it.”

<Ruby> “You… you have no fucking clue about deals do you? It’s all in the words. Getting them off is not something I can do, I told you that. And that’s not the same as getting a way to then get them off - which is something I /can/ do. Fucking Lucifer, I thought you angels were supposed to be /smart/.” *Ruby glares back at her, shaking her head in something between exasperation and amusement*

<Anna> *Anna chuckles, she’s amused at Ruby’s frustration. She knows very well about deals and how the wording works.* “So are you willing to work with me on a way to get them off? Or should I get you a chair to get comfortable and while I’m out I’ll leave the tv on infomercials for you.”

<Ruby> “Maybe you should make yourself absolutely clear as to what /your/ end of the deal will be, Anna. Given I can choose to completely ignore you and get some more unknowing creature to do it for me..”

<Anna> “The collars and something else I don’t want to talk about yet till I see if we can remove the collars. Of course, I make the deal and you break the contracts right away since I know you can do that.” *Anna gets serious as she walks back over to the salt line, she’ll break it once Ruby agrees.*

<Ruby> “What do /I/ get?” *Ruby just stares back at her, not sure Anna even understands how little she has to deal with* “I don’t get your soul, you don’t have one - and from what I can tell you’ve sold basically everything else. What do I get for helping you, rather than just finding some schmuck and getting them to ask for whatever will break these?”

<Anna> “I don’t turn you over to Crowley and tell him you came to me with this idea.” *Anna smiles at Ruby*

<Ruby> *That makes her laugh, shaking her head* “No deal. I highly doubt he’d be anything but amused at my trying to escape, he probably already knows I went to ask his little shadow toy about it. That’s not a good enough incentive.”

<Anna> “What do you want then Ruby? How about you tell me that instead.” *Anna can feel the frustration creeping back up, she’s so close to getting a real chance of finding a way around all of this and Ruby’s being greedy, she thought getting the collar off would be good enough.*

<Ruby> “Your sword.” *Rubys says it plainly, smirking slightly at the frustration showing up on Anna’s face* “Your angelblade.”

<Anna> “Why would you want that? And if you haven’t noticed, I don’t have one anymore.” *Anna doesn’t trust the demon with something that can wound and kill angels.*

<Ruby> “Oh really? You don’t have yours stashed away somewhere? You go and get it, and bring it back - and I will come with whatever it is that will get us out of these things. Deal?” *Ruby continues to smirk knowingly, quite sure that Anna would decide it was worth it in the end* “This is the point where we kiss and take off.”

<Anna> “No I don’t have one, haven’t had one in a while.” *Anna rolls her eyes at Ruby, she never expected Ruby to want an angel blade and she just isn’t sure that she can give her one even though she knows there are some at the bar.*

<Ruby> “Quit lying, Anna. You want that collar off, don’t you?” *The hesitance was making up for much more than it wasn’t, as Ruby waits for Anna to just agree*

<Anna> *Anna sighs kicking the salt line* “Fine, I can get one more than likely, why do you want it. Only angles can kill another angel.”

<Ruby> “Again with the lies. Or at least, it will be. So we have ourselves a deal - an angelblade for the way to unlock these.” *Ruby doesn’t bother waiting, keeping the words as short and untwistable as possible, before reaching over the broken salt line for the other getting more enjoyment out of the way the sharp kiss will probably freak out the other*

<Anna> *Anna would have been freaked out months ago but after everything recently, kissing Ruby isn’t even close to the top of her list of horrible experiences and she breaks it looking back at Ruby.* “Now get out.”

<Ruby> *Frowning for a second, Anna’s reaction brings out a mean laugh - realising that whatever must have been happening to the other must be pretty bad that she didn’t get more than a bland reaction* “Yeah yeah, you just get that blade” *Giving another laugh, Ruby vanishes away, searching the way the deal was tugging at her to try and find her end of the bargain*

<Anna> *Anna turns once Ruby is gone heading back to Gray’s hotel. She didn’t tell the demon that she had one in ehr bedroom at the bottom of her bag. She didn’t use it and hadn’t used it in a long time but it was a still a comfort to have.*

#7 - Ruby tells Anna about how to get her collar off from Jo, and Ruby gets her ARCHANGEL BLADE!!!! 

<Anna> *Anna has been to see Gray and she’s come back, she doesn’t trust staying for long for a number of reasons, Crowley mostly but it’s hard to be around him like he is and she’s almost the point of praying for something to help him. She still hasn’t heard back from Ruby and she’s getting close to summoning the demon to find out what she knowns.*

<Ruby> *It had taken a few days before the blonde hunter had left her house, but Ruby had caught her the second she stepped outside, explaining the situation, their own joint efforts and garnering an agreement and test on the demon’s own collar before getting the other to agree to help the angel. She’d found a way to get rid of the collars, and now she was set on getting payment. Appearing in the same corner as before, Ruby smirks as she announces* “Where’s my angelblade Anna?” *Her own collar was dangling, open and useless, from her hand*

<Anna> *Anna looks over hearing Ruby’s voice and she looks at the collar hanging in her hand.* “How did you get it off?” *Walking over to Ruby she moves the demons hair, looking at her neck to make sure that it isn’t a trick, she’s having to push down the hope that she can soon get Gray back to normal.*

<Ruby> “Our little hunter friend has a very special knife. She won’t hand it over, understandably - but as per our arrangement I just had to find a way to get these off.” *Ruby smirks, not reacting at all to the invasion of her space, tossing the collar far off to the other side of the room* “Barbie said she’d get yours off for you too, just so long as she keeps her little toy.”

<Anna> *Anna steps back blinking as Ruby tells her how she got it off.* “Jo..has a way to remove them?” *She wonders if her hearing has gone out on her because Jo hasn’t been in contact since she ran into her at Grays and nothing was said then to her about a knife.*

<Ruby> *Nodding, the demon leans back against the wall behind her, tilting her head to a said as she takes in the other’s shock* “She didn’t seem aware that she could, but I knew as soon as we made our little deal.”

<Anna> *Anna just frowns as she walks away to the bedroom, wondering why Jo has something like that and why she hasn’t said anything to anyone.* “How did Jo react when you said something to her about it?” *She asks as she comes back into the front room a few moments later, blade in hand.*

<Ruby> “Surprised. Very surprised. And she seemed reluctant to get it out as it was.” *Ruby’s eyes catch straight onto the blade in the other’s hand, smirk growing on her lips* “Though was happy enough to agree to help you out provided her little monster isn’t around when she does.”

<Anna> “So Grey doesn’t know either..” *Anna shakes her head she doesn’t know whats going on but she wants to find out. Closing her hand tighter she doesn’t want to give the blade over to Ruby and she hesitates.*

<Ruby> “Either that or she doesn’t want you around him for some reason.” *Shrugging her shoulder, the demon pushes forward, holding her hand out for the blade* “My end’s been done, time to cough up or get your runners on, Anna.”

<Anna> *Anna flips the blade around and offers it to Ruby, she’s still frowning at the fact Jo hasn’t said anything to anyone.* “We know it works on collars, will it work on anything else Crowley’s done? Do we know that or did Jo say anything about why she had it?”

<Ruby> *Quickly snatching the weapon before Anna could take it off of her, Ruby vanishes and appears behind her, the point of the blad pointing directly into Anna’s back while her other hand grips tightly around Anna’s hair, jerking tightly* “Oh I don’t know, frankly I don’t care why the little hunter is getting /actual/ presents from Mr. Almighty - she seemed pretty shut up about it at the time though. What I care about is you thinking a pathetic, featherless ex-angel like yourself can push me around.”

<Anna> *Anna steps back as Ruby grabs it and leaves, she’s not surprised at the demon and she’s about to step back when she feels the sharp point press against her skin and then the pain of her head being jerked back suddenly by her hair makes her yelp in surprise as Ruby talks behind her.* “You got your part of the deal and out of the collar!”

<Ruby> “True, but that doesn’t make up for the other times - and trust me, track this back and you threw the first stone. I’m not trying to destroy the world any more, and yet you yelled against me the same thing you did. So.. what’s to stop me from just killing you here?” *Ruby hisses, twisting her hand at Anna’s head sharply* “Especially now the collar’s off.”

<Anna> *Anna reaches back trying to get Ruby’s hand out of her hair, gasping as the demon twists it harder. She’s not going to admit it but feeling the blade against ehr skin doesn’t unnerve her but the kind of blade is making her nearly panic. It’s an automatic response that she can’t control even though she’s sure that it would just be like any other stab wound now.* “Nothing..”

<Ruby> “And what’s going to stop me in future from not just whipping this out and driving it through you?” *The way Anna was struggling made her smirk, the control definitely back in her corner and for once the both of them knew it*

<Anna> “Means that you plan on not killing me now if you’re threatening to stab me later with it.” *Anna winces feeling it scrape against her skin, something ironic and humilating to die as a human to an angelblade she thinks.*

<Ruby> “It does, doesnt it. Or maybe this little thing won’t kill you if I aim it just right - stab now, kill later.” *She shifts the blade so it was pressing at an angle against Annas shoulder blade, so if Ruby felt inclined it would slide cleanly underneath and out without hitting anything vital* “But whats stopping me, Anna? What power will you have to stop me? Ill give you a hint, it starts with ‘n’”

<Anna> *Anna whimpers feeling her move the blade and she swallows* “What is it with you demons and listening to the sound of your own voice..” *She’s not sure she can get rid of Ruby with an exorcism before the demon stabs her or if that would just prompt Ruby to kill her and she shakes her head.*

<Ruby> “Let’s call it over compensating, or at least most of them are. I, on the other hand, just want to point out trying to hurt me to get some benefit or exorcising me, is not a good idea. Just for future reference.” *Giving Anna a sharp shake, the tip of the blade pushing into Anna’s shoulder almost half an inch before she smokes back to her previous spot, letting the other go. Ruby sneers at her* “Go talk to Jo. And don’t fuck with me in future, alright?”

<Anna> *Anna breathes in sharply feeling the blade sliding into her skin before it stops and she’s left nearly falling when Ruby lets her go and she staggers back, her hand reaching behind her as she can feel the blood flowing down her skin. Glaring at Ruby she smiles* “Wonder what Crowley’s going to have to say about you playing with me again and getting his collar off…”

<Ruby> “Wonder what he’ll say about your little blonde friend helping me. I’d guess /she’s/ putting more on the line helping both me and /you/ than I have.” *Ruby sneers back, crossing her arms as she tucks the blade into the belt loop of her jeans until she can find somewhere safer* “I guess we /both/ should keep our mouth shuts unless we want all three of us on the chopping block, hmm.”

<Anna> *Anna just glares at Ruby, her shoulder aching and she’s not sure she’s going to be able to reach the spot on her own.* “Leave.” *Anna waves a hand dismissing Ruby, turning to walk away from the demon.*

<Ruby> “Gladly. Go talk to Barbie.” *Ruby grins, running a hand over the hilt of her new weapon before she vanishes, set on hiding low again*

#8 - Ruby and Anna make an agreement about getting the brands off of Gray

<Anna> *Anna stands in the apartment..she’s debating putting down a salt like after the last time but she wants to get Ruby to agree and if she starts out hostile it may just make Ruby leave so she lights the match and throws it in the bowl.*

<Ruby> *She’d been enjoying the freedom without the regular shocks the redhead must have been causing, but when she feels the pull of a summonings, Ruby is surprised that there isn’t a line or trap as she looks about the apartment* “You ever think of going bacl to your little protective den, angelcake? Got to be better than here.”

<Anna> *Anna shrugs and moves back sitting down.* “One place is as good as another.” *She chews on her lip trying to decide how to word what she wants from Ruby.*

<Ruby> “Right..” *Ruby gives the other a scrutinizing look for a second before leaning back on the wall nearest to her, arms folded* “So, what did you want /this/ time?”

<Anna> “Jo has a way to free Gray but she won’t. I want to make a deal to unbind him now that we know there is away.” *Anna looks at Ruby and she takes a breath as she watches the demon, her eyes scanning the body of the woman she’s wearing to see if she can see her angel blade.*

<Ruby> “Oh really? Got any idea why she won’t, because Barbie seems to be pretty comfortable these days - maybe Crowley doesn’t want him unbinded and the princess is listening to daddy dearest.” *Ruby sneers slightly as she speaks, internally rolling her eyes that Anna seems to think that she has anything of use to her to deal with or that Ruby’ll just jump into them.*

<Anna> “I don’t know, I don’t care. Screw what Crowley told Jo and screw Jo’s reasons.”  *Anna stands up and she walks over to Ruby.* “Why do you care about protecting Crowley’s orders? You should enjoy the aspect of getting Barbie in trouble with him.”

<Ruby> “Don’t tell me what I should and shouldn’t do, Anna. You’re the begger here, not a chooser.” *Anna’s approach sets off alarm bells, especially with the words she was saying as Ruby looks at her. One hand reaching behind her, she makes as though she’s reaching for what’s now her angelblade, a warning heavy in the action* “I don’t care about it, I just need to think on how to actually get something /out/ of this.”

<Anna> *Anna doesn’t move, if she stabs her again stepping back won’t exactly stop her.* “I know I’m the begger and I’m willing to pay at this point whatever you want.” *She smiles at Ruby, wondering if the demon is willing to deal, she’s beyond caring what price the demon names, it can’t be worse than how things are now.*

<Ruby> “Well…” *Ruby rolls her neck, looking skywards as she runs through her mind what she might need. Letting loose the psychopath should be fun enough, and if she can cover her tracks then she’ll be able to get out with her agreement with the blonde still in tact. It’s just a case of working out how to fix this* “For your complete and utter silence on my participation, that should you reveal which demon dealt with you for this - your little monster will go back to being the powerless little twerp he is right now. Because that’s the only way I will get a single iota of worth out of this” *Or at least as much as she could right now.*

<Anna> “You’ll do this for my never mentioning your participation?” *Anna raises a brow at Ruby, this seems far to easy but if that’s why Ruby wants then she can easily never mention her to anyone about this.*

<Ruby> “Not to anyone, not at all. And I will.” *Ruby smirks back at Anna’s almost confused look* “Like you said, getting Barbie in trouble is fun enough.”

<Anna> “Fine I won’t mention a single word to anyone.” *Anna shakes her head but she can live with this deal. It’s simple enough and she can do this easily so she smiles.* “You have a deal.”

<Ruby> “Let’s just hope the little monster or the hunter doesn’t try to get it out of you.” *Ruby sneers, as she reaches out to grip the back of Anna’s head - barely taking the smallest amount of time necessary to make the deal official. The second she lets Anna go, the briefest flashes of the suggestion of what needs to be done -the image of Grey like the other currently and Gray’s back slashed across- left up for her to interpret fill her head, sneer shifting into a knowing grin* “Well, now we know why hunter barbie wouldn’t play ball. You’re going to have to move the iron on your monster’s room, angelcake, and for what I’m going to do you might want to put him under.”

<Anna> “What do you have to do?” *Anna nods, moving the iron won’t be a problem and she can probably get Gray to take some pills to help him sleep since Ruby seems all the pleased with what she’s going to have to do to him.*

<Ruby> “You might want to find him some proper food too, while you’re at it. He’s going to need to heal some things, but like you said - you’re willing to pay any price.” *Ruby is already trying to formulate the best way in and out for her, with as little damage control for her own image as possible - not really caring what it might do to the monsters*

<Anna> *Anna nods, not sure if she should let him fee from her or maybe pay prostitute to be waiting the the room for when he wakes up and let him take it out on her.* “You didn’t say what you had to do to free him?”

<Ruby> “What makes you think I’ll tell you?” *Ruby smiles vaguely, shifting her weight as she moves away from the other - thinking that jumping suit for the other monster might be the smartest move*

<Anna> “You’re right don’t tell me, that way as you said if people try and get it out of me, I won’t know.” *Anna walks off, picking up a bottle of water and rinsing her mouth out from the kiss.*

<Ruby> *Ruby laughs at Anna’s rationalising why she shouldn’t know, even if the curiousity and desperation rolling off her to know what might happen to her precious little monster said otherwise. Still laughing, the demon appears beside Anna and pins her with a look* “I’ll be ready the second you move that iron - so you better hop to it, angelcake. Boyfriend’s going to be back.”

<Anna> *Anna jumps when Ruby just appears and she glares at her now starting to understand why humans find it annoying from angels and demons* “Fine, it’ll be moved tonight.”

<Ruby> “Good. I’ll take care of the rest.” *With that Ruby disappears away, automatically heading to storage area Jo was keeping the dagger in - figuring on her way the easiest way to convince the middle aged, balding owner*

#9 - Ruby meets with mindwiped!Anna

<Anna> *Anna hadn’t got the nerve up to go see Grey again, she had walked halfway across town to where the house was he shared with Jo but then she changed her mind. She couldn’t shake the idea that Crowley had changed the minds of him and Jo and she really didn’t want to think about it with Gray. Turning around she starts down the side walk, keeping the sweater pulled up around her, hiding the bruises on the side of her face that Crowley had left her.*

<Ruby> *Ruby’d been meaning to go prod the blonde hunter about getting her ass into gear over Crowley, when she noticed the redhead walking away from the house. The demon didn’t think Anna would have known where they lived to be able to be there at all, and deciding to see how her little arrangement went, Ruby appears in front of her with a snarl and slam of the other woman back into a nearby tree* “So.. Little Miss Angel all happy now her dirty works been done?”

<Anna> *Anna doens’t pay attention to the people around her, she guesses she should but she’s not a hunter and she doesn’t think anything dangerous would be in a town where hunters come to rest and drink. The appearance of a woman infront of her makes her jump, her mind instantly jumps to Gray and before she can ask if the woman is a monster she finds herself against a tree, the breath knocked from her as the woman snarls something about  dirty work. Blinking as she see’s stars she gasps trying to form a solid thought.* “Who..what are..”

<Ruby> “Don’t play dumb with me, Anna, because I’m really not in the mood. Your little game has obviously set /my/ plans to get rid of that psychotic crazy calling himself the king of all back a few fucking weeks - which I didn’t realise at the time, so seriously.. don’t try to fuck with me right now, Anna.” *Ruby sneers back at her struggling and blinking, finding the reaction amusing even as the anger at how badly hell is going to shit for her with Crowley’s psychosis still happening rolls over her*

<Anna> *Anna doesn’t understand, she pushes back against the tree trying to get away from this woman. She doesn’t know what plans there are and she tries to move around the tree, if she can maybe she can run or someone will see what’s going on and help her.* “I don’t know you! I don’t know anything about a game. I’m not trying to mess with you, I promise!”

<Ruby> *When Anna struggles and keeps squirming it just makes Ruby sigh, focussing for once on using her powers to keep Anna in place and stop moving* “What the hell are you on about you crazy bitch? I though Barbie stopped forcefeeding you the magic pills.”

<Anna> *Anna shakes her head quickly, watching Ruby. She knew she was a demon that she had a history with her, that she tortured her and she tries very hard to not make the woman angry.* “I woke up in a hospital, thought I had been in a wreck that messed me up. I..I’ve been learning that wasn’t true from others like Gray and Jo. It’s some kind of training or something from Crowley.”

<Ruby> “And you’re still talking to Barbie and the Beast. Intruiging.” *Ruby smirks to herself looking at the other curiously* “So you’ve got no recollection whatsoever other than what they tell you?”

<Anna> *Anna shakes her head again. Barbie must be Jo and Gray..* “No, I was told that I knew you before but that’s all. I’m not a danger to you, I promise.”

<Ruby> “Youre right you’re not a danger. You’re just some shriveled up ex-power whose had her brain sucked drier than a wraith on a bender.” *Ruby laughs to herself at Anna’s reaction, shrugging a shoulder at the others promises - figuring a promise from the redhead meant next to nothing*

<Anna> “So just let me go then..” *Anna tries to pull away from the tree but the power keeps her there and she doesn’t understand so many things that people say now.* “I was never anything, just a college girl..I grew up in a church, I don’t know why everyone is so interested in me, I know I did things I don’t remember and I’m sorry!”

<Ruby> “You are far too amusing right now, Anna. Now tell me..what do you remember? Actually remember.” *Ruby grins widely, moving around to stand before Anna with a wicked grin*

<Anna> *Amusing is hte last thin she wants to be so she tries to make herself as boring as possible to the demon.* “I was in college,  my parents were killed and I had a break down at their murder. I dropped out of college and found myself working in this city at a bar.”

<Ruby> “Cute… I remember you when you were like that. So cute. So naive. Absolutely terrified of me until we became best buds.” *Anna recollecting what Ruby remembered sending Sam and Dean to go and pick up makes her laugh, tilting her head to the side* “And what have you been told?”

<Anna> *Anna doesn’t want to be cute, she doesn’t understand what Ruby means by what she was like that before and it makes her feel sick to her stomach.* “That I’ve done bad things, that I’ve had relationships with people..”

<Ruby> “Oh come on, don;t be coy.” *Ruby snickers, prodding the others shoulder to see if she’d react like she used to to her touch*

<Anna> *Anna flinches back at Ruby’s prodding.* “I don’t know what you want to know..I knew Jo, Grey hates me, you don’t like me, Gray doesn’t want to be with me because of Crowley and Crowley says I need retrained thanks to Grey telling him that we..slept together..and trying to make me believe that. So I don’t know what I’ve been told!”

<Ruby> “That’s all I wanted to know. …And who do you believe, red?” *Ruby grins wider, tilting her head to the side as she notices a few people wandering past and mutes Anna until theyre gone*

<Anna> *Anna starts to answer but then Ruby squeezes her throat, silencing her till the people are gone and once they are out of sight she’s allowed to speak.* “Gray..I believe him and Jo..I don’t know to believe Grey and Crowley..he can make me think whatever he wants me too if he wants..”

<Ruby> “You know the monsters can too, right? They can make you think things and do things that they want you to.” *Anna’s words about Crowley and obvious trust in Gray makes her want to cause trouble, especially after Ruby’s plans to debunk Crowley have taken their sweet time*

<Anna> *Anna didn’t know and she just stares at Ruby* “I..didn’t know. I..know about Gray, what he is and Grey. That one of them kills, one doesn’t..but they can’t do anything to your memories can they?”

<Ruby> “They can if they want to. Those boys are.. they’re very dangerous when you realise just /what/ they can do.” *She almost hisses the words out, moving around the tree and almost reappearing beside Anna’s other side, smirk still in place* “Why couldnt they do things to your memories if they wanted to? They give impulses, desires, ideas. They plant a thought in your head..”

<Anna> *Anna jumps when Ruby appears on her other side, she doesn’t like the expression on the demon’s face, it made her feel like mouse being played with before a kill and she bites her lip, speaking quietly.* “Gray..wouldn’t. I don’t know about Grey..he..really hates me and I could see him doing it.”

<Ruby> “What makes you think Gray hasn’t? He might have tampered so much you can’t remember that he hasnt.” *Ruby smirks wider, reaching out a hand to brush the other’s neck tauntingly* “I’ve known you longer than all of them, every single one of them. I knew you back in the hospital days, actually. And I never thought you’d ever want to be with a monster like that.”

<Anna> *Anna tries to move away from Ruby’s touch, closing her eyes as she tries to shut out the words, everyone is telling her that memories could have been messed with and she’s not sure what to believe from anyone now.* “How did we meet, why would I talk to you, you’re a demon..”

<Ruby> “I sent some friends of mine to get you out of the hospital. You were in danger there, and I sent them your way to save you. It’s..kind of their job. And don’t be such a racist.” *Ruby smirks to herself as she moves back from the other, still not releasing her*

<Anna> “Sent friends?..Danger? Why was I in danger.. I don’t even understand how I became involved in any of this, I’m nobody, I come from a simple family..why me?” *Anna watches as another couple walk by, biting her lip as she thinks about calling out but she doesn’t want to get them hurt.*

<Ruby> “Because Anna, you’re special. But no one is going to tell you why at all.” *Ruby lets out a loud laugh, staring back at the other as she seems to realise the predicament she’s in*

<Anna> “Why? Why won’t they tell me anything?” *Anna looks at Ruby, almost pleading. The fact that everyone is talking around subject with her is wearing her down.  Only Gray had been open and blunt but maybe Ruby would tell her.* “Please..”

<Ruby> *Ruby sighs, looking at the other before smirking again* “Well, think about what people have called you, Anna. Really think about it. Their nicknames, their taunts, or just greetings. Try and find the connection about what it is about /you/ that makes you so so special. Because trust me, no one can keep their mouth shut about it, and you never could either.”

<Anna> *Anna hits her head against teh tree in frustration, fighting the hold that Ruby has on her. She’s doens’t know what Ruby’s talking about she’s been called angelfish, Ruby greeted her with angel..* “I’ve been called everything from bitch to angelfish to angel..but that’s just names people use.. I don’t understand what you mean.”

<Ruby> “…really? You can’t understand at all when something is being repeated, and I’m guessing from different sources too. Did Crowley take awya that brain of yours as well, or was that your monster?” *Ruby shakes her head, rolling her eyes at Anna*

<Anna> “I’m just a human!” *Anna practically screams at Ruby, she’s nothing more than that, there’s no way she could be anything else, she passed all the tests the hunters did on her.* “I’m just human..I don’t understand, I don’t.. I hate this..I hate all of you knowing and I’m not the kind of person that tortures demons or monsters. I don’t do bad things to people!”

<Ruby> “If that’s what you want to believe, Anna, go for it.” *Ruby snickers, dropping down the forces holding Anna back*

<Anna> *Anna stumbles forward when the powers let her go and she looks at Ruby.* “When you appeared..you said dirty work, what dirty work? I want to know, why were we working together?”

<Ruby> “Oh no, we weren’t working together. You were threatening and blackmailing me to help you. Theres a difference. I /work with/ Barbie, but you /made/ me do your dirty deeds.” *Ruby sneers back at her, crossing her arms and raising an eyebrow*

<Anna> “How could I make you do anything, you’re a demon..” *Anna shifts from foot to foot, something is screaming at her to stop but she can’t and she keeps asking questions.* “What dirty work Ruby?”

<Ruby> “Easily, you /really/ like being Crowley’s favored pet. It means you think you have liberties that the rest of us don’t.” *She snarls the words out, tilting her head to the side and shaking it with a laugh* “You’ve probably already heard about it, especially if you’ve spoken to Mr Grumpy Pants.”

<Anna> *Anna runs her hands through her hair in absolute frustration and she glares at Ruby* “If I knew would I be asking! If I’m dense it’s because someone’s messed with my brain, what’s your excuse?!”

<Ruby> “No, you’d be demanding that everyone bend over and do as you say. I don’t have an excuse though, I’m not dense. Infact, I’m possibly the greatest mastermind around. Who happens to be very busy, so if you’ll excuse me.” *Ruby sneers back at her, letting out a laugh as she disappears away*

<Anna> *Anna looks on where the demon was before making a sound of total frustration, walking back home as quickly as she can, really thinking about how she’s starting to dislike everyone.*

#10 - Ruby being Ruby

<Anna> *Anna hadn’t heard from Gray sincce they last talked, fought, whatever and her last conversation with Jo only helped her in her choice. She came home, took up the iron chains, swept up the salt and she tossed away everything but the cell phone from the bar. Everyone else could live like this stuff did exist, she could too. She went to scanning the paper for a new job and once she had one she would ditch teh cell phone she had from the bar, cutting the last ties she had to it.*

<Ruby> *Ruby’d been bored, Hell was a shambles and she wasn’t wanting to hang around down there or near any olther demons until she knew what was going on - what plays Lilith or the other demons were going to pull out next. So she went back to spying on those she had indebted or tied in some way to her - except the hunter-monster house was empty and that just spelt boredom, so she turned towards the redhead’s apartment, appearing over her shoulder and peering down at the newspaper* “You should give the seedy looking advert for ‘female assistants’ a call. You’re good at selling yourself, might as well be for money now, angelcake.”

<Anna> *Anna jumps at the sudden sound of a voice over her shoulder and she stands up quickly turning around, already turning red at what Ruby had said to her.* “Go away. I don’t want anything to do with you, any of you.” *She didn’t like what Ruby had said about selling herself and she just glares at the demon as she grabs the paper folding it back up quickly*

<Ruby> “Oh, don’t be a child. Let’s have a looksy.” *Ruby smirks back at Anna, reaching over her to yank the paper from her hands, opening it flat on the table in front of her, keeping the other woman pinned in her spot with a hand over either shoulder, scanning the paper* “Table dancer, not your style. Admin assistant, well - I’m sure you’d be /very good/ at getting your work done, lets circle that.”

<Anna> *Anna closed her eyes in sheer frustration. Shouldn’t demons be afraid of angels or whatever she was supposed to be.* “I said go away!” *She couldn’t stand up and the feel of Ruby standing over her was making her skin crawl*

<Ruby> “And I said, don’t be a child.” *She snaps back, flipping a page of the paper over far too gently for the angry tone, before turning her head to look at the other woman* “Or I’ll have to punish you like one. We’re looking for a bogus job for you, so lets try to behave like adults for a few seconds, okay?”

<Anna> “Punish..maybe you should go into the porn industry. I’m sure there’s plenty of girls there willing to sell their souls to you.” *Anna doesn’t look at that paper as Ruby turns the pages.“ "Why are you here?”

<Ruby> “Deano did want to see the both of us, so how about if you join, I join.” *The sarcasm comes easily as Ruby keeps flipping without looking away from the other, far too curious trying to work out what the other was thinking taking down the iron and salt, and looking for work* “What are you trying to do here, Anna?”

<Anna> “Find a job what does it look like.” *She doesn’t know who Deano is and she doesn’t care. She huffs slumping back in the chair not fighting Ruby’s hold. It’s like waiting out a child to get bored she realizes.*

<Ruby> “Why would you bother doing it /this/ way though? Why not try to sell off what you have instead of a shiney bright soul for whatever dream job you could make?” *Ruby smirks slightly as the other stops fighting to get rid of her*

<Anna> “Because there’s nothing to sell. You know that and I just want to go back and be normal. I’m done with this life and the people that come with it. I want..I want the life that I remember back.” *She’s aware of just how much she sounds like she’s whining and she crosses her arms.* “So just leave me alone.”

<Ruby> “I’m afraid I can’t let you do that, Dave.” *Anna’s petulance at wanting to ignore the bed she’d made before and forgot about amused the hell out of the demon, moving one hand from the table to ruffle at the other’s hair with a mocking smirk now that there was nothing to fear of Anna getting pouty and calling either of her big protectors* “You see, you’re not supposed to be normal. Never were.”

<Anna> *Anna slaps the hand away and runs her hand through her hair straightening it back.* “I can try. We control our lives. I just want to find a job, get away from the hunting.” *Glaring at Ruby she stands up crossing her arms.* “Why do you even care?”

<Ruby> “No actually, you don’t. Silly little humans think they do, and your trying to be a human makes you want to too. But really? You’re all just.. little clogs planned from birth until death.” *She speaks like she’s talking to a child, letting out a sigh, before continuing to talk as she turns her attention back to the paper* “Course, the whole Apocalypse being subverted kind of messed with that. But things always sort out - I’m sure one of your brother’s or sister’s will have started writing out a new book just so the whole place doesn’t go to anarchy. I should ask your brother next time I see him.”

<Anna> “I don’t have any siblings. I’m an only child.” *Anna reaches out grabbing the paper and ripping it in half before throwing it down. She feels childish right nowbut she just feels nothing but frustration and anger at Ruby’s taunting her.*

<Ruby> *Ruby lets out a laugh watching Anna tear up the paper, the reaction far quicker than she expected* “Don’t go pretending you don’t know what I’m talking about, featherless.”

<Anna> “That angel crap or whatever..I might have been one but I’m not now that’s obvious because you aren’t like running in fear or anything of me and I just don’t care. I’m done with it, I am. I’m done with Jo, with Gray..everyone can take their problems and just leave me out. I just want a life that I understand..” *Anna sits back down in the chair taking the pen on the table, fidgeting with the top*

<Ruby> “And that life would be, what, working in a crappy job all your life just because you don’t like being out of control of everything? For shame.” *She smirks down at the other woman* “And angels are only scary when you don’t know how to stop them. These days? I’ve learnt, so unlike the others of my kind, I’m not so fearful of the divine wrath. As for you… I’d suggest you take off your baby panties and go back to playing the big leagues with the squeaky little monster who might have a chance of scaring my kind off from bothering you.”

<Anna> “Yes I want a crappy job and crappy hours and maybe just the idea that nothing strange is going to come out of teh shadows at me or appear behind me! That monsters and demons are just not real!” *She hates that Ruby makes sense and she doesn’t want it to make sense.* “I’m not an angel, I’m not anything just a human and I don’t even know how to play with the monsters as you put it so what good would it do for me to stay in this life?”

<Ruby> “Oh please, you don’t want that. If you wanted that then the second you came back from the dead all free-willed and strong-willed up you would have regardless. You do what you want, Anna, always do - and you /don’t/ want to be a nine-to-five girl. Unless it’s pm to am.” *Ruby shakes her head at the others defense, moving around to lean her hip against the table* “You know how to play with the one monster you /actually/ like. The rest… are pretty much the same honestly. Such fickle, boring little things that lot. Not that demons are any better.”

<Anna> *Anna bristles at the continued jabs at her selling herself and she’s even more angry at Ruby’s attempt to talk about Gray.* “There’s no monster that I like, like that..not anymore and there won’t be another and you can go to hell with your continuing to call me a working girl!”

<Ruby> “Been there done that, lots of call girls down there.” *She snickers slightly at the other getting angry, the change in colouration on her face making it far more amusing than it would be otherwise* “I’ll quit with the working girl commentary when you stop lying. You wouldn’t get so angry if I wasn’t hitting a nerve.”

<Anna> “You’re very being here hits a nerve!” *Anna snaps throwing the pen at Ruby’s head.* “I’m not lyin about what I want! Everyone in this life is so screwed up including you and I just don’t want to deal with it!”

<Ruby> *Ruby catches the pen as it bounces off her cheek, twirling it between her fingers as she listens to Anna screeching thoughtfully before replying* “So, if your little old monster showed up at that door saying he was sorry for reacting like he did, and wanted to have a rational discussion about things, you wouldn’t want to deal with it? Even though you’re just as screwed up as all of the rest of them?”

<Anna> *Snorting she looks at Ruby before sitting down away from the demon* “It wouldn’t happen. Every is so stubborn and just I don’t know.” *Anna run her hand through her hair in frustration.* “I know I’m screwed up but I want to change, that’s why I want to be normal.”

<Ruby> “You’re really pathetic, you know that right?” *Ruby just stares at Anna as she moves about, obviously getting frustrated at the demons presence and questions, but that was all part of the point.* “You think being normal isn’t screwed up. That’s sheer idiocy I’d only expect… well.. of you.”

<Anna> *Anna just huffs.* “Right, I’m pathetic because I’m not runningback to the crazy that got me in this mess to start. Bite me Ruby. I’d be more pathetic if I spent all my time whining about Gray wanting to sleep around or the fact Jo’s supposed to be my friend but just mean.”

<Ruby> “Why don’t you just let him? Not like he’s going to revisit them. Or even actually do it if you don’t say no on request. Crazy thing about guys - put them on a leash and they’ll work out how to hang themselves with it to get off, leave them without a collar and they’ll stop growling at the other dogs, stick to their owners side - or failing that come bounding back when their master calls. And by their master, I mean their bitch.” *Ruby sneers back at Anna, shaking her head at the other’s assessment and honestly finding the chance to possibly screw about with the making up, again, to be worth the sappy talk now to see what happens after later down the track* “As for the bitchy hunter, unless she’s trying to roll you in oil and set you alight, she’s being nice. You both have all the right in the world to wanna kill one another.”

<Anna> *Anna doesn’t even know why she’s trying to justify herself to the demon but she feels defensive of the way Ruby makes her sound.* “I didn’t say he couldn’t! I just said that if he did I could as well..because it’s only fair. And then it just went down hill because it just seemed like all we had in common was sex and this is stupid, you need to leave. Just go !”

<Ruby> *Ruby lets out a louder laugh when Anna tries to shoo her offer, shaking her head shifting to sit atop the table rather than just lean on it, looking at the other* “Why should I? You can’t make me. Just a normal girl now, bet you don’t even have a gun lying around anywhere. So, I don’t think I will. Your hatred of practically everyone else but one another is another thing you have in common, Anna.”

<Anna> “I don’t hate anyone!” I just don’t like anyone. Everyone is stubborn and pig headed and just stupid!“ *Anna walks over to the kitchen grabbing the table salt, unscrewing the top.* "I don’t  a gun but I have salt..so you should go before things get uncomfortable for you.”

<Ruby> *When the other grabs the salt, Ruby lets out a laugh, disappearing only to reappear behind Anna, one hand grabbing the wrist holding the container* “And I can crack your wrist in an instant. Or see if the trick I did on your ankle would get the same reaction doing it to your hands as well.” *Tutting, she smirks back at the other* “You’re just as stubborn and pigheaded and stupid, Anna. it’s why you all really belong together. No one else sane enough would.”

<Anna> *Anna drops the salt container when Ruby grabs her wrist, she glad she doesn’t remember what Ruby did to her leg, the scars looked painful and the threat to do it to her wrist is enough to make her stand down.* “I don’t wnt to be like that! Why aren’t you listening? People can change, I want to change!”

<Ruby> “No they can’t. They just think they can. Delusion is one of the greatest parts of humanity, and you’re trying to very hard to be like them. Same as the other little monster - both decieve yourselves that playing human long enough will make you one of them, or that you can be like one.” *Ruby sneers at the other, pressing the front of her boot against the back of Ruby’s ankle with a growl before adding* “People don’t ever change. What they’ve done in their lives is what they’ll always be and will never be taken back. Why do you think even with the whole mumbo jumbo Sick Anointing that more and more people come and do the firey rumba? Get over your delusions Anna, you’re not changing again.”

<Anna> *Wincing Anna turns looking at Ruby* “What was your life like that you sold yourself to the pit. Is that how you know so much about being a whore? Just one more diseased girl, begging for pennies on their knees from men?”

<Ruby> “Not even in the slightest, and you don’t know a thing about the word diseased - least not any more. Don’t attempt to turn this mind game back on me, angelcake, we’re talking about you and how your dumb crusade to change yourself is pointless and futile beyond all else.” *Ruby grins darkly, twisting the others wrist*

<Anna> *Biting her lip she stares at Ruby* “So if people don’t change then you’ve always been a manipulative bitch. Coward that hides in the background. What did you get out of your deal Ruby?” *Anna hadn’t ever given much thought as to how old Ruby was but now she wondered about it.*

<Ruby> “I said we’re talking about you, Anna. Not me. I didn’t make a deal like you think, so if you’re that interested you can go snooping about for what it could have been.” *Ruby cocks an eyebrow back up at the other, looking blankly at her*

<Anna> “So you went down stairs through good old fashioned sin?” *Anna shrugs trying to pull her wrist away from Ruby.* “Did you kill your kids? Husband? How many times did you comit adultary like the town slut?”

<Ruby> *Anna’s attempts at narrowing down how se ended up downstairs makes her laugh, shaking her head in a fake sign of good nature before twisting harder* “D, none of the above. Really, you’re quite interested in what happened to a demon and with Hell for some normal girl, Anna.”

<Anna> *Anna yelps this time, her hand spasming as Ruby twists it.* “I..you won’t leave and if you’re going to hang out. Might as well get to know you. You enjoy knowing more about me than I know about myself.”

<Ruby> “This is true, I /do/ enjoy knowing more about people. I just don’t take kindly the the same being returned.” *Ruby hisses before dropping Anna’s hand, now that the salt was gone, before disappearing and reappearing back on the table top* “You don’t need to know anything about me. I’m not your /friend/. Maybe you should try turning that interest and 'get to know you’ attitude on people who actually /like/ you.”

<Anna> *Rubbing her wrists she can see the faint bruises already appearing she rolls her eyes.* “No one actually likes me. They tolerate me, it’s not the same as liking. And I tried to get to know people but all I keep getting is attitude. I’m sorry I don’t remember being a bitch..”

<Ruby> “If they didn’t like you, you’d be dead by now. No offense, people monsters or hunters don’t like tend to… disappear.” *Ruby smirks back at her, grinning widely when she notices Anna rubbing her wrists* “Let me put it like this, Red - your little friends, the ones you say you don’t like but for some reason feel like you do? If they didn’t like you, they’d have either killed one another or been fucking like rabbits for the last year long.”

<Anna> “Whatever Ruby.. Nothing that happens now matters. Everyone is just going to keep holding it over my head whatever I did before and I’m never getting past that with them.” *Anna sinks down into a chair, the fight going out of her as she shrugs her shoulders.*

<Ruby> “Maybe you should just try to find out difinitively what it is instead. Or tell them to shut the fuck up about the old Anna, because new Anna is here to stay and they should just suck it up that the numerous beatings and tearful screaming matches were all the renumeration they were going to get.” *She smiles cheerfully at the other, shifting to start picking at her nails now Anna’s not yelling*

<Anna> “Yea right..I don’t think any of tehm will let go of it and no one want to talk about it. Gray snapped finally and turned it back on me that I hurt him and I don’t even know what I did.”

<Ruby> “He got depowered, you reacted badly and treated him like his brother. It’s a point of pride for them /not/ to be one another, just so you know in future.” *Ruby continues cleaning at her nails, not caring whether sharing any bits of information for once aren’t getting her automatically something in return. She’s willing to wait for the profit later on.*

<Anna> “Treated him like his brother?” *Anna looks at Ruby, watching the demon cautiously.* “How did he get his powers back? Why did I react badly?”

<Ruby> “In case you didn’t get the memo - you and the little one hate one another. Another thing for you to know in future. And you made a deal with a demon for them to do what Barbie wouldn’t - cut up her little monster and free yours in exchange.” *She raises an eyebrow as she looks back at Anna, turning her attention to her other hand* “Dont know why you reacted weirdly though, probably because he got neutered power wise just to be able to be with you for a little while, and he wasn’t the same wanna be badass he usually tries to be. Freaked you out or something.”

<Anna> *Anna listens quietly, watching Ruby with her head tilted.* “So I made a deal, with Crowley? Is that why he says he owns my soul? or whatever I have?” *She’s not sure how much she can trust with what Ruby is saying but it goes back to what Gray said some and she feels bad for him.*

<Ruby> “Nah, you and Crowley had a different arrangement - bit fuzzy on the details of that actually. You don’t have a soul, you traded favors with whichever demon it was.” *Ruby carefully avoids mentioning which demon, shrugging a shoulder* “I found out because the damn thing couldn’t keep its mouth shut about torturing the other monster and waving about a super powered knife that belongs to Hunter Barbie.”

<Anna> “And what did we bargin for? What deals have we made? You keep talking about selling myself so I’m going to guess that we have made some kind of deal.” *Anna doesn’t trust Ruby and she wonders if this means she isn’t going to Hell then.*

<Ruby> “Us? We’ve had our exchanges. I’ve scratched your back, you’re required to free me from every Devil’s trap I find myself stuck in. Pretty good system, you and I.” *Ruby smirks back at Anna, not sure how she jumped to that conclusion that they’d made a deal but agreeing none the less*

<Anna> *Frowning she doesn’t like the idea that she has to let the demon out of a trap and she just nods.* “And what did I get out of it? What did you do for me?” *Anna wants to knock that smirk of Ruby’s face but she doesn’t know how.*

<Ruby> “I stepped into some.” *Ruby lets out a loud laugh at that, knowing that the other was never the most focussed on getting the words of a deal down and how much that one has come around to help her out*

<Anna> “No, what did you do for me?  There had to be something I wanted bad to make a deal to let you out of any trap you get into. You like talking so talk Ruby.” *Anna stands up walking closer to the demon looking at her as she dances around the subject.*

<Ruby> “I told you - I stepped into some traps for you. You needed a tester, I agreed on the condition you let me out of any trap I get stuck in.” *Ruby smirks widely at the other, not getting how the other didn’t understand her the first time* “You’re not very good at keeping track of the wording of things.”

<Anna> “Right.." *Anna sighs walking away, glancing back at the bedroom.* "Should I put you on the lease? Are you going to be moving in here or something?”

<Ruby> *She quirks an eyebrow at Anna’s looking about and comments, letting out another laugh as she shakes her head* “I thought you were done with the girly bits with your last landlady, angelcake. If we’re done playing Twenty Questions, I think I’ll leave you to your pathetic dellusion of normality for now.”

<Anna> *Anna rolls her eyes* “Please..don’t come back. You really don’t have to talk to me, it wouldn’t hurt my feelings if you’re the one person I never hear from again besides Crowley.”

<Ruby> “And here I thought you never wanted to talk to your friend and fuck again.” *Ruby snickers, before sending a glance about the house disinterestedly as Anna tries to shoo her off and gets impossibly boring now* “But I guess I’ll come back and annoy you in a few weeks. When you’ve finally either gotten drier than the Sahara desert or are back to being monster playfood.” *Ruby lets out another laugh\ before vanishing*

<Anna> *Anna sighs going and flopping down on the bed..she hates the whole ability of everyone to just randomly appear and disappear.*

[survivor-north-sea]

episode two: "You've never heard such spiteful fiddling." - Trinica

Tyler Frazier

I feel like AJ is doing a lot so I’m gonna have to tell her to chill soon. She wants to target returnees which like is weird and I’m not sure I wanna do that

Hairie

As expected, it was a unanimous decision and Fifi went home.

-

Finally forming an alliance with majority numbers. Stoked to get the game running but we need to kick butt in these challenges.

Trinica

OK I am absolutely letting paranoia get to me but it just occurred to me that jinx and clefford could possibly be playing together and getting everyone involved in this drama on purpose... I don't even know what that strategy would entail But I am absolutely fucked if they are working together so I'm going to choose to believe that everything's fine and I'm OK.

I have a feeling we're going to lose this challenge. we have some members of our tribe who go hard on challenges like me and aj and other members who I think slacked a bit on the 1st challenge. In this challenge there's no room for slacking, nobody will be able to pick up your load so I'm worried we're gonna lose if anyone goes MIA like with the first challenge. But if we go to tribal hopefully it's an easy vote for leifa since she hasn't really been around.

Hairie

I'm just afraid how much of an impact my 10% disadvantage would affect our overall score for this challenge. Putting in a 110% for sure!

-

JayJay is sacrificing so much sleep time base on the timezone she's in. She is a queen!

Tyler Frazier

So Aj is like super paranoid ab idols and advantages and like I don’t really care bc I have no clue what’s happening with them. I don’t even know how to start looking so idk what else really expects me to do ab that. Also I just wish AJ would sorta just chill out bc I think she could be a good shield for me but she’s gonna become a liability VERY soon if she isn’t already. I give her 4 tribals MAX before she’s booted if she keeps it up

Trinica

FUCK I just got exposed while hunting for an idol in front of the entire tribe. I want to believe that people won't think anything of it/will assume that everybody is hunting for idols, but I think it's more likely that they fixate on my name being out there as a threat.

I NEED us to win this challenge to avoid tribal and put some space between this fiasco and our first vote.

AJ asked me to take her on a double hunt tomorrow so she can hunt solo, which I'm fine with because I need a break from solo hunting for a bit 😅

Toni

Theme: "Two days in and Esteban is still TBC"

Hello World!

It's been an interesting journey so far. We won the first challenge so I was able to sleep lol. Thank God. I wonder if i'll be able to stay up tonight to strategise if we lose this one. I wouldn't want to be away from camp right before a tribal :')

In other news I definitely think Trinica and Jinx are my solid team. I've gone back and forth with Esteban and don't know what to believe now. Jinx believes Esteban is playing double agent with Clefford which doesn't make me feel good at all lol. Not to take it personal but it makes me think why did he decide to team up with Clefford instead of us haha. This is all speculation of course. My gut tells me Esteban hasn't actually found an alliance yet. So 2 days in and still no idea if I can trust Esteban. Perhaps I'll devise a test if we win this next round.

Onto AJ who by far is the greatest surprise yet in terms of how compatible we actually are haha. I know I wrote her off 2 days ago but what's the use of the mind if you can't change it. I thought there's be no way 2 strong type A personalities would get on but we're definitely getting on like a house on fire. What I appreciate about AJ's temperament is that I feel like she says what's at the top of her mind and you don't have to think too deeply about what it means because she's said what she means. You know? see what I did there? because AJ always says "yk". ha! BANTER.

Anyway, I'm petrified of Clefford I really need him to go asap. I've heard from 3 sources that he's targeting Jinx which is scary because we won immunity AND it's round one babe :') chill - it also means he needs to go because we could lose a number if he eliminates Jinx and that would weaken our alliance. I'm even more petrified of him because he hasn't made any effort to get to know me at all lol. I mean I get it though, I do give off unfuckwithable vibes. Even though i'm a sweetheart. Maybe I should have said the survivor player i'm most like is Drea. She was kind of unfuckwithable too. Balance is required in empathy, like I said Logic and Heart. Do no harm, take no sh*t!

P.S. I'm sure Clefford is a lovely human :') just a big threat in the survivor game.

Signing off still confused about Esteban? byeeeeeeeee

AJ

Alright it’s getting closer to seeing who got taken out of the other tribe and thus see what the next challenge is! So far Trinica and I have formed a core alliance - sorry Cleff - and are idol hunting together. We’re trying to rope in Esteban to take me on hunts so we can gather more coins and info on island stuff.

I’m also trying to see if I can convince Tyler to take me as well. If I can get enough people doing down a path with me as possible then they may be convinced to stay hunting with me for long enough that I can keep tabs on what everyone’s getting.

I've done it. I've convinced Toni to bring me on her idol hunt. Rn she doesn't know I've gone on duo hunts before so fingers crossed she doesn't find out. Aaaaand small islands are hostile. Cool cool cool.

Jinx

round one: part one of me being targeted for no reason by clefford even though we won immunity 🫶🏽 https://voca.ro/1opefEPnyumi

part two https://voca.ro/1ncski26u2Pq

9:49 PM imagine giving me a reason to vote you out! when we’re not even going to a vote! i prayed for times like these!

you know i am transparent and honest but i do know the cardinal rule of survivor you don’t have to show them all your cards to win

-

my best confessional to date welcome to the round two part one

https://voca.ro/1kOwf318dzBPHairieThank god Hidra took the mercy rule. Lowkey felt bad for Esteban

Trinica

https://youtu.be/2FDr13kJC3I

AJ

Alright I feel like this round was so short, and y’all really deserve a longer confessional so here it is. Welcome to the AJ Recap - coming to confessionals and a Viewing Lounge near you. So let’s get this whole thing started. The beginning of this is I guess when the next challenge got released early. I was so happy because it meant I wouldn’t be staying up too late that night. Tonight I’m staying up until four for the results though so I’m probably going to just stay up through the night. Your girl be ballin.

Anyway I’m also happy I stayed up last night because it meant I didn’t get put on fucking tug of war which would have been terrible for me. I say me but it would be awful for the tribe too, but bad for me because if we lose - which it’s looking like we may and it’s terrifying - I’d be to blame. Luckily I got battle of the wits (y’all will see my phrases in there for sure) and I got to have a more chill time. But I’m pretty happy with it.

Now onto more interesting matters. I’ve done my first lone idol hunt. It went pretty well all things considered. Better than Trinica’s. Trinica and I aren’t revealing we’ve hunted with each other yet. Now I managed to convince Toni to take me with her. Congrats to me I feel accomplished. It ended quickly but now Trinica and I know not to go to the small islands on our next hunt together. Toni also wants to take me tomorrow which is good. Now comes the issues. We’ve made an all girls alliance chat and hopefully unlike IRL survivor no one fucking flips.

Bad news is Jinx told us that Esteban has been saying he thinks Trinica and I are close because of how we keep pushing him about the idol hunt. I mean he’s not wrong but he doesn’t need to know or be saying that to anyone. So honestly I think he may be a threat that needs to get disposed of quicker than anticipated. He seems sweet but he’s really playing and he’s the oldest person here which means he’s got more life smarts just generally. I’ve played the I’m just a young superfan who is super excited to help out and play even an online version of this game card and it seemed to have worked. Trinica and I are trying to think of damage control though. So far I know Jinx seems to be buying it. If she really does idk but fingers crossed.

I’m trying to play a team player, and look sweet and helpful enough to be kept around for a long enough time. Besides if we’ve got a strong enough group of ladies to take the merge by storm then maybe we’re going to be a new BWB. Stay tuned y’all, trying to make Mother Parv proud. Until next time. (which if we go to tribal will just be chaotic rambling from me) I leave you with a sense of impending doom and a feeling we’re going to tribal looming over me. I can’t explain why I just have a feeling. Ok until next time y’all.

Tyler Frazier

So shockingly (not shocking at all) it seems people are starting to get fed up wirh AJ and Trinicas aggressive and messy gameplay right off the bat, particularly with the way they’re handling the idol hunt which is fine with me. If I need to let them fly off the rails I’m fine with that. Especially if someone else is leading the charge, since it still is so early on in the game the last thing I wanna do is make any waves right now. I’m gonna just go with the flow because there’s no need to really be playing hard early on.

-

As for my game in general, I think socially I could be doing a bit better it’d probably be good to chat some more but I feel good about a few people. Esteban, Clefford and Bethany are all people I could see myself working with. A big part of my strategy is not coming on strong at all. I wanna be perceived as the “chill young guy” who’s just here for a good time so that way nobody wants to target me in the near future.

Bethany

i'm honestly laughing so hard right now hearing about clefford telling people he is a newbie LOL in what world aksldfjsa;lkdfjakfja you are putting way more attention on yourself getting all worked up about it my friend!! just be chill!! it's okay!!! the newbies are not scary they are actually very nice!!! they are not on a witch hunt against you rn so don't give them reason to please

Chelsea

I had zero concept of what an “endurance” challenge would look like online and I am floored at what tribe mates are accomplishing in the Tug-O-War and Build a Boat challenges! I hope it doesn't look bad that I didn't want to do that...TrinicaOK I'm like 99% sure that we are going to lose this challenge and we're going to tribal tomorrow. More pressing is that Esteban has told Jinx, AJ, and Toni (and probably the boys) that AJ and I are tight and a threat. AJ and I are doing damage control now, but it's looking DICEY.

AJ also scares me a little lol. She's honestly diabolical, she puts on this "I'm only 18 and I'm scared" character like a second skin and I think she's got everyone wrapped around her finger. Thank God she's on my side (for now).

Toni seems to want to hold on to her relationship with Esteban, but I need her to see what a snake he is. Toni said that Esteban wants to work with her to break up AJ/I and Clefford/the boys. I have to really get Toni convinced that the girls alliance is strong and Esteban is too risky to work with.

Esteban

Round 2

This is tough. The challenge is tough. So I was tasked to do the tug of war with azri and Clefford. It is an odd choice of people to be in this game though. This is the opposite of what people who choose this selection as a good one.

So everyone had the chance to do hunting now and AJ and Trinica is pissing and exhausting me. I am all aware (if i am wrong then damn me) now of what the little kitties (AJ and Trinica) are doing. They ofc wants to excrete all the information they wanna get on me. AJ asking (assumely) most of us to go idol hunting with them as confirmed by Toni. They thought that they are in control of all but lets change this plot a little bit. I will be in a self-destruction mode and I don’t care if this will bite my ass up. I will rally CLEFFORD, azri and tyler to go against these amazing girls. Hoping with the backing of Bethany and Toni we will caught the purring cats on their game. ;) I’ve been playing dumb and nice for so long but I wanna try new things. :) so lets see how these things work. ——————— Not me devoting much on the challenge that iI know we already failed. I just want to see how the other group persist and used this story that i did my best on the challenge with my tribemates. I have more than 20 alarms in the middle of my classes! Lol ———————- People is kinda scared now about the result. I already knew that in our challenge (with azri and clefford) we already lost. It’s hard to really be against the vampires of the opposing tribe. Really hard! __________ Not trinica telling me that Jinx lose the challenge. I am curios and sus with that though. Heroes challenge. Alone? Is there any advantage? Hmmm probably. She intentionally lose that to gain advantage. ——————— Talked to Toni, Tyler, Bethany, Clifford and AZri of what Aj doing about the idol hunt. Caught her that she talked to most of us to work together in an idol hunt. Very suspicIous. I wish these people will work with me and vote either Aj or Trinica out. Or jinx? Idk. Lol this will be so intersting.

Chelsea

So mad that the Battle of the Wits was the only one we didn’t win outright! Want to make sure ppl see me as a competent person, but since we won no one else will probably even remember….fingers crossed!

Zach🤠

So the hero challenge was a slay. Jinx and I had so much fun. I let jinx have the idol so my tribe could win. And I think I aligned myself with jinx in the process if we both make it to merge? Zach and Jinx at merge with an idol?? power duo i fear

AJ

It's been crazy y'all. Shit hit the metaphorical fan before we'd even lost yet. I think we all knew it was coming and everyone's been scrambling every since. Esteban is spreading lies about Trinica and I, trying to make it seem like we're super tight and all that. Luckily I think I may have won over Jinx again, Bethany doesn't seem to want to write a girl's name down, we're just waiting on Toni.

In the meantime I know I have to be on top on idol hunting like nobody's business. There's five hours between tribal and Jay getting home so I should be able to manage. Wish me luck y'all, I'm not ready to go home just yet and I'm gonna fight to stay in this.Brandi I was so worried about this challenge but it was almost a full sweep!!! Proud of us 💪🏼

Trinica

Okay, so after AJ and I scrambled last night after finding out Esteban was snaking around trying to pull girls to turn against us, we did a LOT of damage and scrambling. In some ways, working with AJ is a dream- she's sharp and willing to put in the work, and it does feel like a democracy between us. On the other hand, she does sometimes tend toward emotional playing (especially now when she's worried the votes are coming her way) and last night, even though I told her NOT to initiate any game talk in the girl's alliance chat, she sent a giant essay about everything that happened with Esteban (and dropped my name about 20 times in it). The only way to ensure everyone thinks we're in a secret alliance is to refute that 20 times in a giant rant lmao. Jinx influenced her to do all that, and I need to watch that influence on AJ.

Toni reached out and told me that the boys are voting AJ and trying to pull Bethany and her in. I'm so glad I did the work with Toni yesterday to deepen our connection and ensure her I trust her. Bethany didn't say a word about it to me (though maybe she's still asleep), but Toni came right to me, and that's what I like to see. I also got her to post it in the group chat, which is huge because until then I don't know that she put a lot of faith in the girls. But I think we're all tied to each other now.

My biggest question mark now is Bethany, but last night she told me she didn't care who we voted, she just didn't want to vote a girl first, so hopefully she's on the level.

Also, Clefford and Azri both reached out to ask what my plan is after leaving me on read for like 12 hours lmao. I'm playing them like a fiddle put of PURE SPITE. You've never heard such spiteful fiddling.

Raffy

Brandi came to me and wanted to start an alliance with us and Champ. I feel like Els now because I'm in two alliances very early in this game. It also limits who I can target. Now, I can only really target Zach or JayJay, neither of which I want to vote out. I guess this is what I get for being nice haha. I'll just roll with the punches to be honest. I can definitely see the vote falling onto Zach if we go to tribal before a swap, but I really don't want that. So, instead, I am going to try to win every immunity lol. Good thing we won this last one. I wouldn't know what to do.

Esteban

Today, it should be AJ or I. If not AJ let it be me tbh. That’s the GOAL. 😉

I planted seed to all except TRInica AND JINX coz i know they will leak it to her.

I will let clefford think its his plan and cultivate it to other players. I have my SE ASIAN men “LANGIT” with azri and clefford. Toni trusted me ( i guess more than AJ) and clefford planting to her the POC alliance. Bethany my patagonia queen, and tyler home i played with in a live game which we worked together. If this works well I will be damned feel good.

If it’s not then well played my friends.

Tyler Frazier

So it’s looking like I gave AJ way too much credit. She will be voted out at the first tribal she attends! I mean technically I was right still I gave her max 4

AJ

Guess who the guys are gunning for. Spoiler alert it's me. Im hoping the girls stick with me like they say they will and we can get Esteban. Anyway I went idol hunting and it was soo promising but someone got there before me. I'm almost positive it's one of the guys. Anyway yeah I'm super nervous for tribal

Azri

https://youtu.be/mqsaRX7Jdto

Esteban

Self-destructing Esteban

I felt weird playing this kind of game play tbh. I don’t know what’s on my mind but am so into this plan. Reasons: 1) I wanna make a new version of Esteban’s game. 2) I am a little not to the ordinary Mental State. 3) I am just feel not respected by how AJ and Trinica makes me feel like a dumb person pushed to the limits. ;)

At this point IDC anymore if I am going home as long as the other votes goes to Aj. Just give her a little THOUGHTS to PONDER. Me going home tonight is not their bragging rights to take because I am aware of what I’ve done. It should not be me or Aj it’s should be CLEFFORD and / or TYLER. But, i took the risk and just went through it and probably saved these guys another day. :) as they deserve it.

My thoughts about the votes are:

SCENARIO A - my hope! Vote against AJ - (esteban, clefford, azri, tyler, Bethany, Toni) Vote against Tyler - (jinx, AJ, trinica)

Scenario B - bad

Vote against AJ - (esteban, clefford, azri, tyler, Bethany, Toni) Vote against Esteban - (jinx, AJ, Trinica)

Scenario C - Worst though IDC anymore.

Vote against AJ - (esteban, clefford, azri, tyler,) Vote against Tyler - (jinx, AJ, trinica, Bethany, Toni)

Are we gonna live another day or are we going home at peace? Let’s find out.

LOVE CHEETOS!

Tyler Frazier

inx just told me I’m the vote. That’s awk 🙃

Jayjay

Everyone did so awesome on this challenge, we were definitely determined to win this one and it shows with our results! I’m so proud of us! I don’t know if I should really be concerned with making strong alliances so early in the game however I have asked someone to go on an idol hunt with me. I think the player I’ve grown probably closest to is Hairie as well so I look forward to getting to know him better and possibly form an alliance with him. Glad we don’t have tribal council to go to tonight and am excited to see what’s for the new challenge!

Julia

The majority group on my tribe was formed with me in it and I’m honestly really stoked. I still feel closest to hairie and definitely still weary of raffy, but I’m just going to see where things goTrinicaThis vote is so MESSY. Azri, Esteban, and Clefford started reaching out this morning, fishing for a name to vote for but giving me NOTHING in return. I don't know if they realize how transparent they're being but it's truly sloppy gameplay. I fed them all Tyler's name, but if they're smart they won't believe me. Clefford said he'd make a chat for me and esteban and him, but then he ghosted me (obviously).

Jinx started the "in vecepia's name we trust" WOC alliance with me, them, and Toni. It's good to have, but I'm honestly nervous about both of them-- Toni because she wants to hold on to Esteban, Jinx because she's playing with her emotions (or at least trying to get us to BELIEVE she's an emotional player) and either way is a loose cannon.

Jinx has an idol and is hellbent on using it tonight (which is weird...I don't get her reasoning, I think there may be a time limit on the idol maybe?) but their plan is to just be as chaotic as possible to try to pull votes so they can use it, which is just...a bizarre move this early in the game. And I think what's happened instead is all the boys are paranoid we're voting Clefford, so I suggested switching to Esteban, but Jinx WILL NOT let that happen.

At this point, my prediction for tonight is: the boys have an ace up their sleeves, AJ goes home, my game is fucked, and lowkey it's Jinx's fault lol. Fingers crossed I'm wrong.

Arvin Bentonon

I am very happy that we won because I put a lot of effort in the tug of war. I have problems getting up with my alarms but I thankful that the other tribe surrendered.

Champ

So happy our entire tribe pulled their weight and we won. I’m nervous for the returning players because I feel like they’ll have an advantage over the new bees. Trying to stay as active as I can to read everyone’s messages and hopefully find an idol clue

Hairie

Wow we won almost all the challenges in divide and conquer! Impressive !!!

Bethany

https://youtu.be/zcWcLZY09wY

Hairie

Raffy did nearly 500 trunks. He’s scary and thankfully I’m in an alliance with him