#can you imagine a book like that being released in traditional publishing

[sirenofthegreenbanks]

there is a novel about a woman getting her wife back alive after she was assumed to have drowned in a catastrophe on the high seas while she was conducting scientific studies there or smth. but the wife comes back wrong. and the story is about memories and grief and loss and what happens at the bottom of the sea and WHYY THE FUCK DONT I LIKE THRILLERS THIS SOUNDS INSANE

[jewel-odom]

Book Review: The Wild Iris (1992)

A quick author's note: this is the longest review I've written (so far) and the only one about a volume of poetry (so far). I get pretty nerdy in this: the first half is about the structure of the volume as a whole, and the second half zooms in on specific poems and stuff like syntax, diction, and rhythm. Also, I don't have any spoiler warnings, since it's a volume of poetry and the rules are a little different in terms of a 'storyline', so fair warning if that bothers you. Okay, let's get into it:

I was surprised when I found out The Wild Iris by Louise Glück was published in 1992. It is, to me, the most inventive and clever poetry volume I have read in quite some time; for this reason, I assumed it had been published recently. Hailed by the Poetry Foundation as “…one of America’s most talented contemporary poets,” Glück released thirteen volumes from 1975 to 2022, has been awarded the Nobel Prize for literature (the first American-born poet since T.S. Elliot), served as the United States poet laureate from 2003-2004, and two of her volumes have won the National Book Award and the Los Angeles Times Book Prize, respectively, among other accolades. Glück passed away just last year of cancer but leaves an impressive legacy as her poetry lives on.

The Wild Iris, which was awarded the Pulitzer Prize, comes in at just sixty-three pages, but there are several attributes that deserve acknowledgment. The one that steals the show, so to speak, and can distract from other, more subtle elements, are the poems titled after specific plants. These poems embody the voices of the titular plants; for example, “Violets”: “…we do not grieve / as you grieve, dear / suffering master; you / are no more lost / than we are, under / the hawthorn tree…” (21). This dramatic choice, including eighteen (or more) different natural voices, ascribing a distinct personality to each plant found, presumptively, in her backyard, immediately catches a reader’s attention and draws them into the story Glück is crafting. But what really cements this volume as something incredible, for me, is that she doesn’t just stop there. She also gives God a voice, then she argues with him. She imagines him chiding her, she imagines the plants being critical of her as well – sometimes gently, and sometimes harshly. I can see, in this volume, a woman struggling with her marriage, her faith, and her depression. I feel that I can safely presume – and hope – that writing this volume was a release; one good, long therapy session, for Glück.

Another notable attribute is the repetition of two different poem titles throughout the volume: “Matins” (traditional Catholic morning prayer) and “Vespers” (traditional Catholic evening prayer). These poems are always in the voice of the human speaker, who I personally feel is Glück herself, or otherwise a closely adjacent character. The titling choice of “Matins” and “Vespers” gives the volume a distinctly religious overtone: a sense of ‘Catholic guilt’ that couples nicely with the hints of divorce and questioning of ‘god’ that occur throughout the poetry. Lilies also make a repetitive appearance in poem titles (while also being the title of the volume), a choice that’s deeper meaning can be debated. On the most basic level, a quick Google search confirms that lilies are a common symbol of purity, love, and fertility, as well as being a popular funeral flower.

My final observation regarding the volume’s structure is the sense of time and movement. Moving chronologically, poems are scattered throughout with titles like “Clear Morning” (7), “End of Winter” (10), “End of Summer” (40), “Sunset” (57), and “September Twilight” (60). The speaker of these poems is the ‘god’ figure, usually in conversation with the human speaker. The human speaker occasionally references other names and significant events, most often regarding the speaker’s husband. This is where those undertones of divorce I mentioned come in, as mention of the husband is often accompanied by a reflective and nostalgic tone, something verging on regret, musing on how things end. Even poems not directly talking about the husband linger on how the human speaker wishes for time to stop: “I wanted to stay as I was / still… the moment / nothing is as yet past…” (“The Doorway”, 33).

Overall, The Wild Iris seems to be a reflection, verging on judgement, on human nature and emotion. The voices Glück introduces work in conversation with each other; for example: “Sometimes a man or woman forces his despair / on another person…”, then on the next page, “No one’s despair is like my despair – / You have no place in this garden / thinking such things…” (“Love in Moonlight”, 19; “April”, 20). The first voice we can assume to be the human confessional voice, and the second to be the ‘god’ voice, casting judgement on the human’s self-centered pining.

In a poetry class I took last year, our professor (shoutout to Rose McLarney, an incredible poet herself as well as a lovely person) asked us how this volume subverted expectations around ‘nature poetry’. Most people, me included, think of traditional pastorals, Walt Whitman and the age of romanticism. These kinds of poems talk about the beauty of nature, but there is no human touch in these poems, no ‘I’ speaker. This volume contradicts those expectations by not only characterizing nature but also by turning the focus inwards toward the human psyche. How do humans interact with nature, and how does nature feel about it? Most people think of a walk in the garden as peaceful, but what if the garden is judging your every thought and move, because it is so much more alive than you are? The Wild Iris doesn’t treat the natural world as an inanimate object, a distinction that I think is incredibly important and part of why this volume is still turning heads and being taught in classrooms, even thirty-plus years after it’s release.

Another way Glück subverts expectations is the tone and personality she chooses for the voice of certain plants. One example is “Daisies”, which are typically a symbol of innocence, purity, and joy, but Glück characterizes them as harsh and condescending: “Say frankly what any fool / could read in your face…” (39). However, Glück’s control of diction almost always creates nuanced scenarios that invite deeper consideration. In the second half of the poem, a note of sympathy seems to arise: “No one wants to hear / impressions of the natural world: you will be / laughed at again…” Not only is Glück getting ahead of the critics (acknowledging what she is already aware of: nature poetry can get old) but she’s also created a three-dimensional character out of a simple flower. She also addresses a larger question, one that reverberates through the volume, about the nature of humanity: “the mind / wants to shine, plainly, as / machines shine, and not / grow deep...”

Something else I love about this volume is how unafraid Glück is of punctuation and wildly varying line and stanza lengths. One particular example is “Field Flowers”, where she uses question marks freely (perhaps a little too much) and exclamation points. She uses progressively shorter lines to increase the tempo of the poem, leading up to the proclamation of “…the soul! The soul! Is it enough / only to look inward?” (28). This moment feels like the poem’s ‘climax’, so to speak, demonstrating Glück’s mastery of syntax and pacing. Another example is “September Twillight”, where short, staccato lines build up tension. Occasional longer lines appearing amongst the short ones give the poem an emotional feel, as though the speaker is ranting but pauses to take deep breathes before the more impactful lines. The couplets that bookend the poem are a fascinating and satisfying choice; they could almost be read without the middle stanzas. Throughout the volume, Glück avoids a consistent format for her poem forms, making her choices intentional, controlled, and interesting.

The Nobel Prize committee, upon selecting Glück in 2020, said it was because of her “…unmistakable poetic voice that with austere beauty makes individual existence universal.” I could not agree more. The Wild Iris, whose form and point-of-view might steal the show at first, is an acutely emotional volume, addressing underlying themes of divorce, heartbreak, and death. If anyone deserves her flowers, it is Louise Glück. Don Bogen, a fellow poet and critic, once said of Glück, “She is at heart the poet of a fallen world.”

PHEW, I cannot believe how long this post has already gone – thanks for sticking around if you made it this far. As always, let me know what you think, and happy reading!

Jewel Odom

Sources:

The Wild Iris: https://www.harpercollins.com/products/the-wild-iris-louise-gluck?variant=32919807492130

Poetry Foundation: https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poets/louise-gluck

The New York Times: https://www.nytimes.com/2023/10/13/books/louise-gluck-dead.html

[sghosh15101999]

Family Library in Your Pocket: Ebooks for Every Member Anywhere, Anytime

In today’s digital age, having a family library in your pocket isn’t just a fantasy—it’s a reality with ebooks. Imagine being able to access a world of stories, knowledge, and entertainment wherever you go. This convenience is made possible by ebooks, which allow every family member to enjoy their favorite reads anytime, anywhere. Let’s delve into how ebooks have revolutionized our access to literature and learning.

Convenience and Accessibility for Everyone

One of the standout features of ebooks is their unmatched portability. Whether you're on a vacation, commuting, or simply relaxing at home, an ebook can be accessed with the tap of a finger. There's no need to lug around heavy books or worry about space. With a digital device, you can carry an entire library in your pocket. For families, this means that mom, dad, and the kids can all have their own set of books, ready to dive into at any moment.

Consider this: waiting for an appointment, and your child starts getting restless. Instead of handing over a smartphone with some game, you can provide them with an engaging ebook that not only entertains but also educates. Meanwhile, you could be indulging in a gripping mystery or learning something new from a non-fiction bestseller.

Diverse Content for Diverse Tastes

Ebooks cater to a broad spectrum of interests and ages. From colorful picture books for toddlers to young adult novels, and from technical manuals to self-help guides, there’s something for everyone. Here’s a quick breakdown of how ebooks serve different family members:

On-the-Go Learning and Entertainment

Ebooks aren't just about leisure reading. They are powerful tools for learning and development. For children, interactive ebooks can turn reading into an exciting adventure. Features like read-aloud, animations, and quizzes can make learning both fun and effective. Educational ebooks can cover a range of subjects from math and science to history and languages.

For adults, ebooks provide an opportunity to expand knowledge and skills on the go. Whether you’re catching up on industry trends, learning a new hobby, or diving into deep topics like philosophy or personal development, ebooks offer a versatile solution. And let’s not forget audiobooks—a perfect companion for those who prefer listening over reading, making it easier to consume content while driving or doing chores.

Economical and Space-Saving

In addition to their convenience, ebooks are often more economical compared to their printed counterparts. Many classic titles are available for free, and new releases are frequently offered at discounted prices. This affordability allows families to build a substantial digital library without breaking the bank.

Moreover, ebooks save physical space. No more overflowing bookshelves or piles of books gathering dust. A single device can hold thousands of titles, freeing up room in your home and reducing clutter.

Customizable Reading Experience

With ebooks, personalization is key. You can adjust the font size, background color, and even the lighting to suit your preferences. This is particularly helpful for readers with visual impairments or reading difficulties. Unlike traditional books, where the print size and layout are fixed, ebooks offer a flexible reading experience that can be tailored to individual needs.

Consider grandparents who might struggle with small text in printed books. Ebooks allow them to increase the font size, making reading more comfortable and enjoyable. Similarly, teenagers might prefer a dark mode to reduce eye strain during late-night reading session.

Conclusion: Embrace the Future of Reading with Writing Souls

Ebooks represent the future of reading, offering unparalleled convenience, accessibility, and a customized experience for all family members. At Writing Souls, we understand the transformative power of digital reading. Whether you’re looking to publish your own ebook or dive into the world of audiobooks, our expertise can guide you every step of the way. Visit us at Writing Souls to discover how we can help you bring your stories to life and enrich your digital library.

#Ebook #audiobook #book

[spotlightauthors]

Ella Quent

Ella Quent is a Poet/Author from Jacksonville, Florida. Her love for writing was birthed from a love for reading. As a shy, quiet teenager, Ella used poetry as her means of expression. The author of several romantic and poetic short stories, Ella published her first full length novel, The Evolution of Her, a poetry collection dedicated to women of color. Currently attending school to study Creative Writing, Ella hopes to continue writing poetry and stories to encourage and inspire others. 

Author Name: Ella Quent 

How long have you been writing? I have been writing since I was a a young girl. 

Did you ever imagine that you would be published one day? Becoming a published author has always been a dream of mine. 

What made you want to become an author? When I was about 8, my school took us on a trip to the library, I got my first library and fell completely in love with reading. It was from there that I started wanting to write books of my own. 

How long have you been published? I recently published my first book just this past month. 

How does it feel to be published? It feels amazing!!! It's almost surreal seeing my book on such a public platform for others to enjoy.

Are you self-published or did you go through a publishing company? Why? I am self-published as of now, but I am working on something I'd like to submit to a traditional publishing company.

How many books have you written? This is my first actual book, though I have several short stories available on Amazon Kindle Vella. 

What is/are the name of your book(s)? My book is titled The Evolution of Her.

What genre is it/are they in? It is a book of Inspirational Poetry geared towards women of color.

What do you feel will inspire others to never forget when they read your story(ies)? I try to come from a place of love and positivity. I know how it is to hurt or struggle but I always love to remind myself, and others, that we will get through.

What's the hardest part about writing a book? I think the hardest thing about writing a book is letting go of the fear to release it, once you release a book, it really no longer belongs to you but to the culture.

What's the easiest part about writing a book? The easiest thing about writing a book is being able to use my voice. As a teenager I was so quiet and shy, that writing became my way of Expression.

What do you enjoy most about being an author? It literally feels like my dreams are coming true. 

What do you enjoy least about being an author? Hoping that someone reads my book! Lol, I'm always hoping someone will give my book a chance.

What is your favorite genre to read? Is it different than the one that you write in? I love poetry. I love romance. Those are my favorite topics to write, so I'm pretty much in my lane. 

Where can interested readers purchase their copy of your book(s)? My book and collection of stories are available on Amazon Kindle.

Do you have any future projects in the works? Is there a tentative release date? Right now, I'm working on my first full length romance novel, no date quite yet. 

Do you have any social media sites that you would like to share with my readers? I'm on Facebook and Instagram. I also created a blog, EllaQuently Speaking, which is also directed towards women of color. 

[onehoppymomma2]

Strategies to Online Mags

Onehoppymomma.com

Online magazines, handheld versions of their screen-print counterparts, exist atlanta divorce attorneys niche and posting model imaginable, and much more are being established every single day. Whether your desire is in political activism or model engines, there is a digital interesting catering to followers, writers, and organisations interested in that subject matter.

Onehoppymomma.com

There are many ways to submit an online newspaper. Some are released online as web sites put together in a arrangement resembling a traditional periodical. Some are shared as PDFs from pages laid out comparable to a traditional paper paper, or as massive high-quality graphics having an image viewer to get downloaded to the reader's computer, as opposed to study the web. Other types are coming in front with an emphasis on post regular articles together with columns in a data format more like a site, or serialized inside of a series of daily, monthly, or monthly e-mail - this file is often used by customary magazines for their web sites. Paper magazines possess in increasing amount also begun to hold articles they have function in their magazine on line, and some publish personal Internet content. That is to say traditional magazines, getting advertisers interested in chatting with the readers to a particular magazine continues as important and valuable. Even a small interesting for a niche loyal like independent jewellery-making business owners or guns antique collecting could possibly be particularly desirable to the company or man or woman with a product to market targeted for that specific market.

Online journals can be as exclusive and also open as each and every web business. A lot of are available freely to readers, while others have to have subscriptions, pay-per-article, or even pay-per-issue. Many a digital magazines choose to benefit from both methods, getting some content accessible free, while additional content is specific. For magazines printed digitally as high-quality PDFs or created for digital circulation like short e-books, payment for save is more common, despite the fact that web magazines this feature regular article style web content are more likely to favour subscriptions or simply paying to read private articles.

For creators of these studies seeking publication, your field of on the internet magazines can be worthwhile and lucrative. A result of the low cost of world-wide-web publishing, many web site publications exist to get niche markets that could struggle on a newsstand. Many such world wide web publications pay certainly, being financially held either by request models or compensating advertisements on their online space. Many scaled-down niche magazines of which still have a branded readership often discover a wider category of readers through their particular websites. Now that perhaps major print catalogs publish web content and additionally accept submissions over the web and through e mail, unless having a print out copy is especially necessary, targeting online mags can be a good personal preference to bring in an revenue and write a essays, poems, in addition to stories that have value and meaning back to you.

Digital publications designed for magazines is a steadily-growing field that will will begin to innovate as authors, editors, and marketers continue to look for cost-effective ways to publish material. While not all via the internet magazines will be prosperous, as more subscribers turn to the internet, digital camera magazine publication definitely will continue to grow along with flourish.

[inkovert]

You brought up a lot of interesting points that I want to address and expand on because I think some of them are separate issues and/or related to other larger systemic problems.

I want to make it clear that I am in no way an expert on what goes on within the publishing industry or on a writer's experience with publishing as I've never attempted to publish my works. It would be great to have someone who has more experience in this domain chime in on the issue, but for now I'm going to speak on what I have gleaned from debates within other communities or observations I've personally made first-hand.

First, I think a distinction between traditional publishing and self-publishing should be made first. I'm mostly going to be talking about this from a traditional publishing standpoint, in that an author works with a major publishing house to release their book and the author has to do the work to market themselves and create an audience to boost book sales.

Honestly I don’t like the way books are marketed now. I saw someone on tiktok compare it to fast fashion and…yeah.

I have heard about this comparison and the article it's attached to (which honestly is a poorly written article starting with the misleading title, but I digress). I do think the comparison is a slight misnomer. Fast fashion produces a product that is cheap, quick to make and low-quality. From my understanding, the original "fast fashion" comparison began when an author worked with a publishing imprint to create special editions of their widely hyped book(s) that was advertised as being a limited-release, therefore driving up the demand so the product would quickly sell out (this happened with both book 1 and 2 of the author's published series). Technically in this case it was a quick and low quality job (creating special editions, however, is not a quick process, but because they tried to force them out quickly it resulted in several terribly low quality misprints), but the process of making special editions is not cheap by any means, nor was the cost of the books made cheap for consumers. But what suffered in quality the most, to no one's surprise, was the editing and writing of the book itself.

Taking this loose analogy of "fast fashion" to the marketing of books as a whole and...yeah, I kind of do see it. Not just with the rising "romantasy" genre, but with "spicy" romance books in general. I can list off the names of a few authors who publish several novels/novellas a year simply because their works have been widely hyped online, increasing the demand for their next release. Because they have to pop out these books so quickly you can imagine how well-written and well-crafted they must be. Similar to the last spilled ink session, I don't think the blame for this particularly lies with any one person/entity. However, I'm inclined to pin a large part of it on the publishing industry because I'm sure they see the hype that these author's works get online and probably push them to be more prolific, giving them outrageous/unreasonable deadlines to meet. But the ones that often (wrongly, I would say) take the blame for this are the authors and the consumers/readers because they are the obvious, visible targets; the publishers are the invisible entity behind the curtains that no one ever thinks about and thus rarely takes the brunt of the blame. But in this age of accelerating deadlines and releases for books, it's not hard to see why a good chunk of the books that blow up online are not of good writing quality.

I don’t like how predictable books have gotten because their plots revolve around tropes instead of tropes being worked into the plots.

I think this is an excellent way of putting it. There is nothing inherently wrong with tropes, and I would also argue, there is nothing inherently wrong with using tropes to market a book to audiences. I think the problem lies in a few things (1) when, as you pointed out, writers start to cater their story to tropes to satisfy this new marketing trend rather than using it as a tool to tell their story and (2) when tropes become a way to market stories offline. I'm going to speak on the latter point first. I think the tropificiation of marketing books originally started online and was rapidly popularized by booktok. Makes sense. Booktok started as a way to deliver a message to an audience in fast, bite-sized videos. You don't have room to read a 200 word blurb about what a book is about if you're trying to make a 30 second video. So what do you rely on? Buzzwords that will pique people's interest. Tropes. Vibes. Themes. Whatever you can do to grab a person's attention. But what has happened is that publishers have seen how effective that way of marketing is within booktok, and completely ignored and divorced it of its necessary context to push books forward simply based on tropes/vibes alone. So that now results in book blurbs (at least on Goodreads) starting with or consisting of nothing but "How to Get Away with Murder meets Little Fires Everywhere" or "enemies-to-lovers fantasy romance novel" etc etc. And it's like. Great. But what is the story actually about? What is the plot? You have the room to expand on this stuff and tell me more so why aren't you...telling me more? I would even argue this is an issue with long-form media in general. I can understand if you only have 30 seconds to tell me something and you want to rely on tropes to get the idea across, but I once listened to an author's YouTube video (which was 11 mins long) where she described her up-and-coming book and I shit you not all she did was list adjectives and nouns to get people excited about it (it has a lighthouse, brothers who are pilots, moody vibes, stormy day, the protagonist is named after my favorite animal). I walked away with no sense of what the book was actually about or how to even verbally convey what it was about to other people. It could be a great, super well-written book but what would actually compel me to pick it up when you've told me...virtually nothing of what it's about?

And therein lies my major problem with the way books are marketed/advertised these days. The need for a blurb or a description of a plot has suddenly become obsolete and I find that kind of sad. The ever declining attention economy is definitely a large contributor of that (hey even I can FEEL my attention span getting shorter and shorter as the years pass, too) as well as the difficulty of competing with multiple authors (both debut and established) for consumers' already limited attention. That's why I'm not blaming anyone for this happening because there's no one to blame. It is a multifaceted, nuanced issue that I think is largely out of most people's control, especially as a debut author struggling to compete with the constantly shifting publishing/consumerist landscape. My point really is that it's just unfortunate that things have gone in this direction and that I personally get tired of seeing books marketed this way. For me personally, tropes/vibes don't really get my attention and it turns me off of a book when the author hasn't explicitly told me what it's about. If anything, because the average attention span is decreasing and reading a 300+ page book is a time and attention investment, I want to be confident that the book I pick up is going to be worth my time and I can't do that just based on a handful of random words.

This shift in marketing puts too much on the author to succeed. I think it’s caused stories to become less original in hopes of profitting off of what’s popular, and it’s caused worthless competition between authors.

I do agree that it's unfortunate that authors have to do most of the leg work when it comes to advertising their books, which, again, is why I don't blame writers for relying on short, attention-grabbing phrases to gain readers because they are battling against heaps and heaps of competition. I honestly can't even think back to how books became popular or noticed before social media (word of mouth ofc but hard to wrap my head around something so inefficient causing books like HP and LoTr to become global phenomenons) because this current landscape has suddenly become all I know. But you bring up a point that became pretty central to our last spilled ink session (and that was the first point of the last section that I forgot to circle back to whoops) - stories suffer as a result of this consumerist system the publishing industry has decided to tailor itself to. Authors need to make money at the end of the day, and if creating low quality, "trope-heavy" stories is what helps them get their name out there and establish a track record then they will inevitably cater to that, to the detriment of writing.

SPILLED INK SATURDAY 》 Writeblr Discourse Series

Session 2: Book Marketing

Spilled Ink is a writeblr discourse series. Each session is centered around a writer/reader/author-related topic and/or debate and those participating are invited to share their thoughts and opinions on these matters from a writer’s perspective. Take a look at our first session here.

To participate in the discussion, you can do so one of two ways:

➸ Return to the OG post (which will always be linked in the title of the post) and reblog with your take on the topic, either in text or in the tags

➸ If you see someone’s take on your feed and you want to chime in on something they said, feel free to reblog their response

If you choose to participate please be respectful when providing your opinion or when responding to someone else’s. 

How do you feel about the recent shift in the way books are marketed?

Everything from quotes on the back of book sleeves (why did we make this a thing???) to listing tropes/vibes for books on social media posts, it's evident that the way books are marketed has shifted over the last several years. As a writer/author, are these marketing strategies necessary and more effective to gain readers? As a reader, do they turn you on or off of a novel? Can they be misleading? Reblog and share your thoughts.

[zorya-wellness]

Lammas/Lughnasadh Pagan Holiday

Lammas or Lughnasadh is a Pagan holiday celebrated on August 1st. It symbolizes the end of the summer period (yes, even though you may not want to hear that we are on our way to the end) and the beginning of magical fall.

The Lammas holiday is also closely connected to the harvest season.

It is traditionally believed that the period of Lammas celebration was very important in the religious communities, not only from the perspective of Pagan or Christian traditions  but also due to its agricultural significance.

Lammas versus Lughnasadh. What Is The Difference?

First of all, let’s talk about terminology a bit.

Lammas comes from Anglo-Saxon hlaf-mas, "loaf-mass", therefore also known as Loaf Mass Day and it is a Christian holiday.

The celebration of this holiday by the Christian community is in part similar to what we will be discussing later. The holiday signifies a period of being blessed by the first gifts of the harvest season. The wheat collected is often used to make the Lammas bread that would later be brought to church for a blessing.

Lughnasadh or Lughnasa is the name used by the “Neopagan” community and just as Lammas, marks the beginning of the harvest period. It is the time when we are grateful for the abundance of the Mother Earth.

How to pronounce Lughnasadh?

The term Lughnasadh comes from the Irish spelling of the word. The Modern way of Irish  pronunciation is Lúnasa and pronounced Loo-nuh-suh. The Classical pronunciation is /’luɣ.nə.səð/ like LUGH-nuh-sudh (where “gh” is pronounced as i a word "give" and the “dh” is like the “th” in “that”.) It is probably the most correct pronunciation of Lughnasadh, as Lugh or Lug is the God from Irish mythology and the one this holiday is dedicated to at the first place.

How Lammas Originated?

Lammas came from a desire of people to thank and celebrate the “father” Sun and the Mother Earth for the fruits of their “love” - the harvest.

To bless the marriage of God and Goddess and ask for a buy dance and prosperity in the upcoming months.

It was considered that August 1st marks the first day of fall. And on August 2nd it was already the time to pick up the harvest and so the days of hunger and need would we over.

The holiday was widely celebrated in:

Ireland: the name Lughnasadh comes from the Irish God Lugh and is translated at “the marriage of Lugh.

Scotland

Isle of Man

In Slavic countries (called “medovyi spas”)

Let’s Talk More About The Harvest.

When we hear “Lammas”, we often think about the period of harvest right away. It is the most talked about moment of Lammas or Lughnasadh but we need to truly understand what stands behind the concept of harvest.

If you are a careful reader, you have noticed I specifically say the beginning of harvest. I also want to explain more what I mean by the time of being grateful.

You see, Lammas is the day of the beginning of the harvest period and NOT the time when we are assessing the outcome and are drawing conclusions of how successful we’ve been (there will be another holiday dedicated to this, called Mabon).

But the first day of harvest is the time when the quality of life changes. It is the time when it becomes predictable what expectations we can have and taste the first ripe fruits.

Simply put, it is the moment when something you worked so hard on, finally becomes tangible and it also becomes YOURS.

A skill you were developing is almost acquired but not to the point when it becomes a reflex. The investments you’ve made are starting to produce some cash flow but still need your attention.

You also need to understand that it is not possible to continuously perfect something or wait for an opportune moment.  At some point, you need to release into the world what you have the way it is and improve things on the go.

Where am I going with this philosophical deviation, you probably are wondering…

This is what Lammas period really is about. It is the time when we transition from preparation to action.

What does it mean for you in real life situation?

Lammas gives you are opportunity of the perfect time to do something you were afraid of doing.

It may be that you were working on a website for your very own blog but we’re too afraid to press that “publish” button, thinking it is not perfect yet.

Or you may have been writing a book but haven’t started to search for a publisher, changing and tweaking things in an attempt for it to be perfect.

You may have been doing research for a new job you always wanted or university program you wanted to apply for but haven’t felt ready to finally made the move and submit an application.

Do you see the pattern?

Lammas is the time when you were ALREADY in the process of doing something but haven’t had the energy for the final step. And this period of the first week of August is for you to pull yourself together and make the move.

And when Mabon comes, we will be assessing the results of our actions.

"Can I celebrate Lughnasadh if I’m not pagan?"

First of all, like I mentioned in my other Blog posts related to the Wheel of the Year, you don’t need to be Pagan to celebrate or acknowledge Wheel of the Year holidays.

RELATED: What Is Pagan Wheel of the Year and How to Celebrate It? Beginner Pagan's Guide

You need to be aware of the existence of the energy of the Mother Earth, it’s changes and shifts and how this affects our lives.

So, What Can You Do To Celebrate Lughnasadh/Lammas?

Lammas/Lughnasadh Traditions and Rituals

Do Some Lammas Divination Work

The period from July 31st to August 6th is the perfect time for divination work. Tarot, Runes and oracles will provide with great messages, especially in career/money (material) and love questions (especially compatibility related).

Don’t forget to show gratitude to the Universe and Mother Earth. It is important to maintain the energy exchange, at the very least with the well known gratitude and love practices.

Show gratitude towards others too, don’t forget to show acknowledgment and say “thank you”.

Make Lammas Bread

During this period, it is the great time to infuse your food and drinks with the energy of love and gratitude, as well as thank the Source and the Planet for its generosity. Of course, the best way to celebrate this holidays is to make Lammas bread. I am giving you this quick bread recipe that does not require a lot of products or special skills

Lammas Abundance Bread Recipe

For this little Ritual you will need to make (not buy!) corn bread.

Lammas Bread Ingredients:

1 1/2 cup of corn flour

1 1/2 cup wheat flour

1/2 tsp salt

1/4 cup of sugar 2 tbs of cooled down melted butter

4 cups of milk

2 tsp of baking powder

Instructions:

Mix flour and salt together in a deep bowl.In a separate bowl with milk add baking powder;  then add sugar and butter.Mix all the ingredients together in one bowl until the consistency is that of a sour cream. It will not be similar to regular bread dough you may be making at home.

*While you are mixing, talk into the bowl anything you want to accomplish that is related to the abundance. Whatever the abundance means to YOU. It does not have to be financial. Maybe you will feel abundant and complete when you have a large family. Then go for it.

Pour the Lammas bread dough into a baking dish (don't forget to butter the dish). Bake for about 40-50 minutes at 360 degrees F.When the colour is nice and golden, take the bread out and let it cool.

When you sit down for a meal, break off (not cut) a large piece of Lammas bread and say: "Large piece of bread in my hand will bring me abundance and plenty." Don’t forget to share your food with the Gods (leave some bread in nature, the way you see fit and depending on the type of deity you are working with.)

Lughnasadh Home Blessing and Abundance Ritual

This ritual can be done during the same time as you are making your Lammas bread.

It is done to invite luck and abundance into your home. BUT. You can change your intent to protection, if you’d like.

All you need to do is to set aside some dough when you are making it for your break and create a figure of an animal. My personal suggestion is to select a farm animal due to the nature of the energy of this holiday.

When you are done, you will need to follow basic figure talisman activation steps. I have adapted the suggestions of Vadim Zeland for this.

*If you are interested in who Vadim Zeland is, click here to read more about him. His book Reality Transurfing has changed my life forever.

Animal activation steps:

Come up with a name for your animal

Take a deep breath. Now breathe into the animal, imagining giving it energy and life.

Tell the animal its name. Tell it that you love and care for it and, in exchange, it's helping you with (whatever you want to ask for).

Place the animal anywhere in the house, depending on the task you give it.

Don't forget to revisit daily and remind the animal of your love and the important task it is doing for you.

Don’t forget to check out complete Blog Post on my website for more information on Lammas traditions, as well as my other Blog posts on Pagan holidays, Rune Meanings and more.

[nopefun]

Interview #494: Ryan Frigillana

Ryan Frigillana is a Philippine-born lens-based artist living and working in New York. His work focuses on the fluidity of memory, intimacy, family identity, and visual culture, largely filtered through the lens of race and immigration. Embracing its plasticity, Frigillana explores photography’s relationship to context as a catalyst for thematic dialogue.

His first monograph, Visions of Eden, was published as two editions in 2020, and is held in the library collections of the MoMA, Getty Research Institute, and Smithsonian among others.

We spoke to find out more about Visions of Eden, his love for photobooks, and photography as a medium for introspection.

Lee Chang Ming Ryan Frigillana

Thanks for agreeing to do this! As we’ve just arrived into the new year, I want to start by asking: how did you arrive at photography and how has your practice evolved so far? Your earlier work was anything from still life to street photography, but your recent work seems to deal with more personal themes.

It’s my pleasure; thank you for having this conversation with me! Wow, looking back at how I’ve arrived at this point makes me feel so grateful for this medium, and excited to think of where it will lead me from here. I came to photography somewhat late. I was initially studying to become a nurse and was set to start a career in that field, but I found myself unhappy with where I was going. My mother was a nurse and I know what goes into being one; it’s not an easy job, and I respect those who do it, but my heart wasn’t in it. I found photography as a creative outlet during that stage of my life, and I’ve clung onto it ever since.

My first exposure to photography (no pun intended) came in the form of street and photojournalism. I would borrow books from the library a lot, consuming works by Magnum and other photographers working in that tradition. At the time, it was all I knew so that’s what I tried to emulate. Even early on in my undergrad career, these modes of creation were reinforced by curriculum and by what I saw from my own peers. My still-life work branches off of that same sentiment: the only names that were ever thrown around by professors were Penn and Mapplethorpe, so that’s who I studied. Thankfully over the years, I’ve been able to broaden that perspective through my own research. Though I don’t necessarily pursue street or constructed still-lifes anymore for my personal work, I’d like to think my technical skills (in regard to timing, composition, light) owe a debt to those past experiences.

I suppose now I’m starting to explore how photography can be used as language, to communicate ideas and internal conflicts. I’m thinking more about the power of imagery, its authorship, its implications, and how photographs have shaped, and continue to shape, our reality. That’s where my work is headed at the moment.

I liked how you mentioned photography as a language, which calls into question who we are speaking to when we make images and what kind of narrative we construct by putting photographs together.

In your work “Visions of Eden”, you trace your family’s journey as first-generation Filipino immigrants in America. I was quite struck by how you managed to link together original photography, archived materials and video stills. To me, with the original photography there was a sense of calm and clarity, perhaps in the composition. But with the archived material it was like peering through tinted glass, and the video stills felt like an unsteady memory. What was the editing process like for you and how did you decide what to include or exclude?

For me, editing is the hardest part about photography. Shooting is the enjoyable part of course because it can feel so cathartic. Sometimes when I shoot it feels almost like muscle memory in the sense that you see the world and you just react to it in a trained way. But with editing, it’s more of a cerebral exercise. More thought is involved when you have to deal with visual relationships, sequence, rhythm, and spacing, etc. The real creation of my work takes place in the editing process. That’s where the ingredients come together to form an identity.

When creating this identity, I not only have to think about what I want to say, but also how I want to say it. It’s like speaking; there are numerous ways you can communicate a single sentence. How are images placed in relation to one another? How large are they printed, or how much white space surrounds it? Are the images repeated? What’s on the following page? The preceding page? Is there text? How are they positioned on the spread? All of these little choices impact the tone of your work. And that’s not even mentioning tactile factors like paper stock or cover material. I think that’s why I have such a deep love for photobooks because 1) they’re physical objects and 2) someone has obsessed over every aspect of that object.

I’m aware that my photographs lately have a quiet, detached, somewhat stripped-down quality to them. I think that’s just a subconscious rejection of my earlier days shooting a lot of street where I was constantly seeking crowded frames and complexity in my compositions. As I’ve grown older, I realize less is more and if I can do more by saying less, that’s even better. Now, the complexity I seek lies in the work as a whole and how all these little parts can form something fluid and layered, and not easily definable.

For Visions of Eden, I wanted the work to feel somewhat syncopated and wandering in thought. That meant finding a balance between my quiet static photographs and the movement and energy of the video stills, or balancing the coldness of the illustrations with the warmth of the family snapshots. The work needed to be cohesive but have enough ambiguity for it to take life in someone else’s imagination. Peoples’ lived experiences in regard to immigration and religion are so complex that they can’t be narrated in any one definitive way. Visions of Eden, hopefully, is a rejection of that singularity.

Yes, there’s definitely something special and intimate about flipping through a photobook! For your monograph, you recently released a second edition which is different from your first (redesigned, added images, etc.). Why did you decide to make it different? Was the editing mainly a solitary process?

The first edition was a partially hand-made object. Illustrations were printed on translucent vellum paper and then tipped into the gutter of the book. When you flip through the pages, those vellum sheets would overlap over certain images, creating a collage-like effect. That was my original concept for this book. Doing this, however, was so laborious and time consuming, and not to mention expensive! Regretfully, I wound up making only twenty copies of that first edition. I wanted the work shared with a wider audience so that’s why I decided to publish a second run.

The latest edition is more of a straight-forward production without the vellum paper. With this change in design, I had to reconfigure the layout. I took liberties in swapping out some images or adding new ones altogether. Also, a beautiful afterword was contributed by my friend, artist, writer, and curator Efrem Zelony-Mindell. I still feel so fortunate and grateful to have had my work seen and elevated by their words in my book.

For the most part, yes editing is quite a solitary process for me. But there does come a point when I feel it’s ready, where I share the work with a few trusted people. It’s always nice to have that outer support system. Much of Visions of Eden was created during my time in undergrad school so I had all sorts of feedback from peers and professors which I’m grateful for. But in the end, as the author, you ultimately have the final say in your work.

Given that Eden is a starting point and metaphor in the work, I was thinking about ideas of gardens, (forbidden) fruit, and movement of people.

How do you view yourself in relation to your place of birth? In your series, I see the most direct links in the letters, old photos where tropical foliage is present in the background, and the photo of the jackfruit (perhaps the only tropical fruit in this series).

I came to America when I was very young, about five years old. For my family and for many other families still living in the Philippines, America is seen as a sort of ideological Eden: a land of milk and honey, of wealth and excess. We all know that’s far from the truth. Every Eden has a caveat, a forbidden tree. Which leads me to ask: as an immigrant living in this country, what fruits were never intended for me?

I honestly don’t remember much about my childhood in the Philippines aside from fleeting memories of my relatives, the sounds of animals, the smell of rain and earth, the taste of my grandmother’s cooking. The identity that I carry with me now as a Filipino is not so much tied to the physical geography of a place but rather it is derived from a way of life, from shared stories, in the values we hold dear, passed on from generation to generation. This is a warm flame that lives on in me to this day as I write these words thousands of miles away from where I came.

Photographs have a way of shaping our memory and our relationship to the past, which in turn affects how we engage with the present. The family photographs and letters used in my book act as anchors in a meandering journey. They serve as landmarks that I can return to whenever I feel lost or need assurance so far away from “home”. They give me the comfort and affirmation that I need to navigate a space where I never really felt I belonged. The spread in my book­­ that you mentioned—the jackfruit on one side, and the Saran-wrapped apple on the preceding page—was a reference to my duality as both Filipino and American. It’s a reminder and an acknowledgment that I am a sum of many things, of many people who have shaped me. If I flourish in life, it’s because my roots were nourished by love.

I like how you mentioned photos as anchors or landmarks. Isn’t that why we create and photograph? To mark certain points in our lives and to envision possible futures, like a cartographer mapping an inner journey. Do you feel like you and your relationships with those you photographed changed through the process of making your works?

When my parents took pictures of our family, it wasn’t done solely in the name of remembrance; it also served as an affirmation of ourselves and our journey—a celebration. Every birthday, vacation, school ceremony, or even the seemingly insignificant events of daily life were all photographed or video-taped as a way of saying to ourselves, “Here we are. Look how far we’ve come. Look at the life we’ve made. And here’s the proof”.

Now, holding a camera and photographing my family through my own lens still carries all of that celebratory joy, but with so much more possibility. Before I really took photography seriously, I never realized its potential as a medium for introspection, but that’s ultimately what it has become for me. In taking pictures of my family, I not only clarify my own feelings about them, but the act of photography itself informs and builds on my relationship with each person. The camera is not a mere recording device, but a tool for understanding, processing, and even expressing love...or resentment. Though I may not be visible in my pictures, my presence is there: in my proximity, my gaze, my focus.

Does all of this impact my relationships? Absolutely. Photographing another person willingly always demands some degree of trust and vulnerability from both sides. There’s a silent dialogue that occurs which feels like an exchange of secrets. I think that’s why I often don’t feel comfortable photographing other people unless we’re very close. Usually my family is open enough to reveal themselves to me, other times what they give can feel quite guarded. That’s a constant negotiation. After the photograph is made though, nobody ever emerges the same person because each of us has relinquished something, no matter how small.

Being self-reflexive in photography is so important. I agree it should be a constant negotiation, but it’s something that bothers me these days – the power dynamic between the photographer and photograph, particularly for personal and documentary projects. More significantly, after the photograph has been made, who is really benefiting. But I guess if we are sensitive to that then perhaps we can navigate that tricky path and find a balance. 

Right, finding that balance is key and sometimes there are no clear-cut answers. That power dynamic is something I always have to be mindful of. As the photographer, you are exercising a certain role and position. At the end of the day, you’re the one essentially “taking” what you need and walking away. There’s an inherent violence or aggression in the act of taking someone’s picture, no matter how well-intended it may be. This aggression carries even greater weight when working, as you say, in a genre like documentary where representation is everything.

I remember an undergrad professor of mine, Nadia Sablin, introducing me to the work of Shelby Lee Adams—particularly his Appalachian Legacy series. Adams spent twenty-five years documenting the disadvantaged Appalachian communities in his home state of Kentucky, visiting the same families over a long period of time. Though the photographs are beautifully crafted, they pose many questions in regard to exploitation, representation, and the aestheticization of suffering. He is or was, after all, an artist thriving and profiting off of these photographs. Salgado is another that comes to mind. This was the first time I really stopped to think about the ethics of image-making. Who is benefitting from it all?

I think the search for this balance is something each photographer has to reckon with personally. Though each situation may vary with different factors that have to be weighed, and context that must be applied, you can always ask yourself these same ever-pertinent questions: am I representing people in a dignified way, and what are my intentions with these images? Communication (listening), building relationships, acknowledging your power, and respecting the people you photograph are all foundational things to consider when exercising your privilege with the camera.

Well said! The process of making photographs can be tricky to navigate yet rewarding. Any upcoming projects or ideas? What’s keeping you busy these days?

Oh, let’s just say I’m constantly juggling 3-4 ideas in my head at any given time, but ninety percent of the time they don’t ever lead to anything finished haha. This past year has been tough on everyone I’m sure. I’ve been dealing a lot with personal loss and grief and the compounded isolation brought on by the pandemic, so for months I’ve been making photographs organically as a subconscious response to these internal struggles. It’s more of an exploration of grief itself as a natural phenomenon and force—like time or gravity. Grief is something everyone will experience in life and each of us deals with it differently, but in the end we have to let it run its course. I see these photographs as a potential body of work that could materialize as a zine or book one day, so we’ll see where that goes.

Other than that, I’ve been working on an upcoming collaboration project with Cumulus Photo. Speaking of which, I saw your photograph featured in their latest zine, running to the edge of the world. Congrats on that! It’s beautiful. But yeah, just trying my best to keep busy and sane, and improving myself any way I can.

Thanks! Looking forward to your upcoming projects! Last question: any music to recommend?

I feel like my answer to this question can vary by the week. I go through phases where I exhaust whole albums on repeat until I get tired of them. So I’ll leave you with the two currently on my rotation: Angles by The Strokes, and Screamadelica by Primal Scream.

Thank you for your time!

Thank you for a lovely discourse. I had a lot of fun!

his website and Instagram.

Get more updates on our Facebook page and Instagram.

[nietp]

The AI behind Bots of New York: Who will monitor the governments monitoring AI?

If you've ever been intrigued by Bots of New York, and specifically by the texts it generates, or if you were ever skeptical these texts were actually generated by a bot, it's worth looking up the model this bot is using, GPT-2, released in 2019.

Bots of New York was the first Facebook bot to use that model for text-generation, and unlike most bots we were familiar with until then, the text it generates is complex and creates a coherent, believable narrative, just weird enough to be intriguing. Though Bots of New York is looking for texts that always sound funny or chaotic, GPT-2 can generate more believable text: "people find GPT-2 synthetic text samples almost as convincing (72% in one cohort judged the articles to be credible) as real articles from the New York Times (83%)". The release of GPT-2 raised ethical issues and its creators, Open AI, published regular updates on their choices, doubts, and findings. What's especially interesting is that the concern that GPT-2 would be used for propaganda was raised from the start, which should have made the creators especially wary of collaboration with governmental organizations and of governmental use of GPT-2 in general, especially since Facebook had already publicly admitted at the time that its platform has been exploited by governments to manipulate public opinion and it has only been further confirmed since then. Instead, Open AI doubled down on the necessity to work with governments, encouraging them to introduce penalties and monitor AI-use, specifically for what they call "extremist" ideologies which include "white supremacy, Marxism, jihadist Islamism, and anarchism". We'll come back to that later, but first, this is an excerpt of what the creators of GPT-2, Open AI, released on February 14, 2019 when they made part of that model open-source:

Our model, called GPT-2 (a successor to GPT), was trained simply to predict the next word in 40GB of Internet text. Due to our concerns about malicious applications of the technology, we are not releasing the trained model. As an experiment in responsible disclosure, we are instead releasing a much smaller model for researchers to experiment with, as well as a technical paper.

GPT-2 is a large transformer-based language model with 1.5 billion parameters, trained on a dataset of 8 million web pages. GPT-2 is trained with a simple objective: predict the next word, given all of the previous words within some text. The diversity of the dataset causes this simple goal to contain naturally occurring demonstrations of many tasks across diverse domains. [...]

[O]ur model is capable of generating samples from a variety of prompts that feel close to human quality and show coherence over a page or more of text. [...] [The] samples have substantial policy implications: large language models are becoming increasingly easy to steer towards scalable, customized, coherent text generation, which in turn could be used in a number of beneficial as well as malicious ways. [...] On other language tasks like question answering, reading comprehension, summarization, and translation, we are able to get surprising results without any fine-tuning of our models, simply by prompting the trained model in the right way (see below for examples of how we do this), though we do still fall short of state-of-the-art for specialized systems.

[...] GPT-2 achieves state-of-the-art scores on a variety of domain-specific language modeling tasks. Our model is not trained on any of the data specific to any of these tasks and is only evaluated on them as a final test; this is known as the “zero-shot” setting. GPT-2 outperforms models trained on domain-specific datasets (e.g. Wikipedia, news, books) when evaluated on those same datasets. [...]

Policy Implications

Large, general language models could have significant societal impacts, and also have many near-term applications. We can anticipate how systems like GPT-2 could be used to create:

AI writing assistants

More capable dialogue agents

Unsupervised translation between languages

Better speech recognition systems

We can also imagine the application of these models for malicious purposes, including the following (or other applications we can’t yet anticipate):

Generate misleading news articles

Impersonate others online

Automate the production of abusive or faked content to post on social media

Automate the production of spam/phishing content

These findings, combined with earlier results on synthetic imagery, audio, and video, imply that technologies are reducing the cost of generating fake content and waging disinformation campaigns. The public at large will need to become more skeptical of text they find online, just as the “deep fakes” phenomenon calls for more skepticism about images.[3]

Politicians may want to consider introducing penalties for the misuse of such systems, as some have proposed for deep fakes.

Today, malicious actors—some of which are political in nature—have already begun to target the shared online commons, using things like “robotic tools, fake accounts and dedicated teams to troll individuals with hateful commentary or smears that make them afraid to speak, or difficult to be heard or believed”. We should consider how research into the generation of synthetic images, videos, audio, and text may further combine to unlock new as-yet-unanticipated capabilities for these actors, and should seek to create better technical and non-technical countermeasures. Furthermore, the underlying technical innovations inherent to these systems are core to fundamental artificial intelligence research, so it is not possible to control research in these domains without slowing down the progress of AI as a whole.

Release Strategy

Due to concerns about large language models being used to generate deceptive, biased, or abusive language at scale, we are only releasing a much smaller version of GPT-2 along with sampling code. We are not releasing the dataset, training code, or GPT-2 model weights. Nearly a year ago we wrote in the OpenAI Charter: “we expect that safety and security concerns will reduce our traditional publishing in the future, while increasing the importance of sharing safety, policy, and standards research,” and we see this current work as potentially representing the early beginnings of such concerns, which we expect may grow over time. This decision, as well as our discussion of it, is an experiment: while we are not sure that it is the right decision today, we believe that the AI community will eventually need to tackle the issue of publication norms in a thoughtful way in certain research areas. Other disciplines such as biotechnology and cybersecurity have long had active debates about responsible publication in cases with clear misuse potential, and we hope that our experiment will serve as a case study for more nuanced discussions of model and code release decisions in the AI community.

We are aware that some researchers have the technical capacity to reproduce and open source our results. We believe our release strategy limits the initial set of organizations who may choose to do this, and gives the AI community more time to have a discussion about the implications of such systems.

We also think governments should consider expanding or commencing initiatives to more systematically monitor the societal impact and diffusion of AI technologies, and to measure the progression in the capabilities of such systems. If pursued, these efforts could yield a better evidence base for decisions by AI labs and governments regarding publication decisions and AI policy more broadly.

In June 2019, OpenAI testified in Congress about the implications of synthetic media, including a discussion of synthetic text in an Open Hearing on Deepfakes and AI. 6 months after the release of the small 124M model, they released the 774 million parameter GPT-2 language model (so still not the full-size GPT-2 model) and some observations made in the meantime:

Humans can be convinced by synthetic text. Research from our research partners Sarah Kreps and Miles McCain at Cornell published in Foreign Affairs says people find GPT-2 synthetic text samples almost as convincing (72% in one cohort judged the articles to be credible) as real articles from the New York Times (83%).[2] Additionally, research from AI2/UW has shown that news written by a system called “GROVER” can be more plausible than human-written propaganda. These research results make us generally more cautious about releasing language models.

[...] Detection isn’t simple. In practice, we expect detectors to need to detect a significant fraction of generations with very few false positives. Malicious actors may use a variety of sampling techniques (including rejection sampling) or fine-tune models to evade detection methods. A deployed system likely needs to be highly accurate (99.9%–99.99%) on a variety of generations. Our research suggests that current ML-based methods only achieve low to mid–90s accuracy, and that fine-tuning the language models decreases accuracy further. There are promising paths forward (see especially those advocated by the developers of “GROVER”) but it’s a genuinely difficult research problem. We believe that statistical detection of text needs to be supplemented with human judgment and metadata related to the text in order to effectively combat misuse of language models.

In November 5, 2019, the largest 1.5B-parameter model was released by Open AI, though in the meantime NVIDIA Research trained a larger 8.3 billion parameter GPT-2 model. With that came a list of findings, including this:

[...] GPT-2 can be fine-tuned for misuse. Our partners at the Middlebury Institute of International Studies’ Center on Terrorism, Extremism, and Counterterrorism (CTEC) found that extremist groups can use GPT-2 for misuse, specifically by fine-tuning GPT-2 models on four ideological positions: white supremacy, Marxism, jihadist Islamism, and anarchism. CTEC demonstrated that it’s possible to create models that can generate synthetic propaganda for these ideologies. They also show that, despite having low detection accuracy on synthetic outputs, ML-based detection methods can give experts reasonable suspicion that an actor is generating synthetic text.

The Center on Terrorism, Extremism, and Counterterrorism is not a governmental organization as such but their research "informs private, government, and multilateral institutional understanding of and responses to terrorism threats". Until 2018, the current director, Jason Blazakis, served as the Director of the Counterterrorism Finance and Designations Office, Bureau of Counterterrorism, U.S. Department of State. Blazakis was "responsible for directing efforts to designate countries, organizations, and individuals as terrorists, also known as State Sponsors of Terrorism, Foreign Terrorist Organizations, and Specially Designated Global Terrorists". Before that, he held positions in the Department of State’s Political-Military Affairs, International Narcotics and Law Enforcement Affairs, Intelligence and Research Bureaus. Until 2016, the director of the CTEC (then called MonTREP) was Brigadier General Russell D. Howard, a "retired Special Forces officer with thirty-seven years of military service, more than twenty of which were spent in some type of counter-terrorist capacity". The CTEC also partners with a "Master in Nonproliferation and Terrorism Studies" at the Middlebury Institute, which also partners with the Naval Postgraduate School (NPS), giving students access to courses with the Department of National Security Affairs and Department of Defense Analysis. The Master's webpage describes this partnership as follows: "You will learn in a military environment, gaining new perspectives on international security issues and expanding your professional network through NPS faculty and students. This opportunity is only available to U.S. citizens." The curriculum includes a wide array of courses such as "Global Jihadism", "Evolution of Chinese Nuclear Policy", "Terrorism in Southeast Asia", etc. The Middlebury Institute also offers a Terrorism Studies Certificate with courses such as Terrorism and Media in the Arab World, Militant Islamic Movements, Eco-radicalism, State Terrorism, Global Jihadism, Apocalyptic Millenarianism, Terror and Counterterrorism in Africa, Terrorism in South Asia, Terrorism in Southeast Asia, Islam, Islamism, and Politics in Central Asia. The CTEC also partnered with a startup called Spectrum Labs to develop an AI detecting "extremist messaging" in non-English languages, starting with Portuguese and Spanish, and the CTEC "lead research into Brazilian and Latin American extremist movements and trends" (I wonder why they're focusing on these specific countries?). Although Blazakis teaches a seminar on the "Radical Right", there is no mention of white supremacy, far-right ideology or neo-nazism anywhere in the curriculum available on the website. But weirdly enough, when the CTEC trained a local journalist on "how to search for online extremists tied to a certain geographic region", the local extremists they found were a neo-nazi highschooler whose "goal is to become a U.S. Air Force pilot", whose "preferred authors are George Lincoln Rockwell, Julius Evola, Benito Mussolini and Machiavelli" and has "just started reading Mein Kampf", and more damningly, Dave Overton, "an associate professor of warfare of the Naval War College who teaches at the Naval Postgraduate School in Monterey": the same Naval school the institute the CTEC is attached to partners with. "At least once, Overton promoted the #plandemic conspiracy theory, which serves to undermine public health efforts aimed at sopping Covid-19. He also amplifies dangerous rhetoric by using hashtags #EnemyOfThePeople to attack the press. But his primary issue of concern appears to be the exoneration of Michael Flynn, Trump’s former national security adviser."

Though Open AI was right in raising ethical concerns about the release of GPT-2, considering it can generate fake articles, comments, and social media content at a dangerous speed and in a way that's very hard to detect for AI and for humans, it ended up looking for support in these ethical decisions from those who would most profit of it as a propaganda tool. Though online propaganda against socialism and communism can be laughably unconvincing these days, as we've seen with the thousands of identical tweets supporting a coup in Venezuela and more recently Cuba, it wouldn't take a lot of effort to make it much more complex and believable.

[getinthering]

Traditions

[This is my first fic that I’ve published in years, but I’m pretty happy with it. Anyway,

Taang Week Day 1: Traditions @taangweek

Aang escapes to grieve his people, feeling lonelier than usual.]  

The Air Nomads are incredibly fortunate to have their culture preserved in such a beautiful way. 

The world has a gaping, empty hole without their presence, an entire way of life wiped out save for one boy.  And so it is an immense blessing, however small it may be, to have the four Air Temples left completely intact.  Aang is hopeful that one day, when the war is behind them and there is peace and trust between the nations, their intricate beauty can be shared with the rest of the world once more.  Perhaps there will come a day when people can live here again and learn the ways of the Air Nomads.

Maybe that is too hopeful, but it is a comforting thought on long and lonely nights when the feeling of how alone he is in the world weighs heavy on Aang.  From the moment he was told of his Avatar status, he became an outcast amongst his peers; but at least then, he was still surrounded by the airbending monks who had raised and grown up with him.  

Now, lying on a cot in the horrendously empty Western Air Temple, where once the female Air Nomads were raised and trained, the weight of his place in the world as the last airbender again bears on him.  True, he has his friends who have literally gone to the ends of the Earth for him.  They can’t, however, make up for the stinging ache in his chest as he takes note of the ways the paint has chipped and faded, the stone has cracked, the moss has overtaken the darkest corners of each room.  And so he finds comfort in dreams of what the Temples could look like after the war, teeming with life once more, him passing down the Air Nomads’ traditions to new groups of people, ensuring they will not be forgotten.

He has never dared to voice these dreams. 

They are not the only secret he keeps from the others, either.  When they first arrived at the Western Air Temple, he excitedly showed his friends around; he showed them the rooms where the girls and the higher monks slept, the dining areas, the training arenas, the spiritual commons, explaining in detail what he could remember from his last visit.  

Yet there is one room--attached to the bedroom he claimed as his own by a small corridor, hidden behind a jutting wall that blends into the rest of the room to the passing eye--that he kept to himself.  It is on nights such as these, when he is particularly mourning the loss of his race, that he ventures inside this room and sits on the dirty floor.  There are faded paintings on each of the walls, depicting Avatar Yangchen’s childhood in the Air Temple.  Aang smiles as he imagines her running through the halls with the other Nomad children, laughing as he had in those simpler days before he was shackled with the responsibility of being the Avatar.  

“Thought you said you were giving us the full tour,” a voice sounds behind him, making him jump.  He whirls around to see the familiar figure of a blind earthbender standing behind him.  

“Toph!” he exclaims, standing and brushing the dirt off his pants.  “How did you get in here?  How did you find me?”

She scoffs at that.  “Uh, I walked through the door, same as you.” She lifts one foot off the ground and points at it.  “I can see this whole place, remember?” Her brazen tone, tinged with harsh humor as always, is enough to shake some of his burning longing and let slip a chuckle.  She looks at him with her pale, sightless eyes and he is reminded that though she is blind, Toph sees more than any of them could ever dream of.  

“Wanna tell me why you’re keeping this place a secret?”  He starts to interject, but she cuts him off.  “Don’t lie to me, Twinkletoes.”

Aang’s smile slips away and he takes back his seat upon the floor, sighing.  “I don’t know.  I guess, I just...wanted part of the Air Nomads to myself for just a while.  It’s like...like a connection to my family and friends.  And I felt like, if I shared it with you guys, I wouldn’t have anywhere to go by myself to feel close to them.  It’s hard to explain, I guess.” 

There is a beat of silence.  To his surprise, Toph sits next to him, crossing her legs, close enough that their knees almost touch.  He expects a rough joke, maybe even an awkward dismissal and change of subject.  Instead, she places a hand on her own knee, gingerly reaching out to rest the tips of her fingers against his.  “I get that,” she says quietly.

He blushes, unsure of how to react.  He has seen Toph express a wide range of emotions, even something close to vulnerability, but never this.  Looking at her hand, he isn't even sure what to call it; the way her fingers arch over the small gap between them, all reaching to touch him, makes it clear the gesture isn't an accident.  

"What's in here?" She asks him, breaking his train of thought.  He is reminded that the room is all but empty, and a hollow sorrow invades his lungs, forcing out the air and threatening to drown him.  He can remember so clearly how this room once was.  He had visited the Western Air Temple with the monks a few short months before he was told that he was the Avatar, before he ran away, before he was frozen in an iceberg for 100 years while his people were slaughtered.  

The paintings of Yangchen were vivid then, well kept, colors bright enough to reflect her youthful joy.  The room had not been empty then.  It had been a small library of sorts, one of the many dedications throughout the Temple to the previous Air Nomad Avatar.  What he now calls his bedroom had been the main library, filled to the ceiling with books on varying topics transcribed from around the world.  This room, however, had been home to scrolls and artifacts from Yangchen herself.  There were once cushions upon the floor surrounding a small table for the monks who maintained the library to complete their studies.  Nearly every inch of the room had either displays of what few earthly possessions Yangchen kept throughout her life or scrolls composed of letters to and from the Avatar, writings about her life and the impacts she had.

All of that is gone now, destroyed by the Fire Nation all those years ago.  

"This was a library for Avatar Yangchen," he says lamely, unsure how to release all the grief he has caged up inside of him.

"So, you come and sit in a completely empty room because it used to be a library dedicated to your past life?" She asks, less gentle than before, sounding more like the Toph he is used to.  

"No!  I mean, it's not completely empty."  He describes the beautiful, if decrepit, paintings they now sit before, trying his best to do them justice for the girl who otherwise wouldn’t know they are there.  He pauses and looks at her.

"They make me feel happy.  I don't know if I really remember Yangchen’s life or if it's just my own memories, but either way, they remind me of my childhood and what it was like to grow up with the monks.  These paintings, they're some of the only ones left in the world depicting Air Nomads that were actually made by Air Nomads."

"You come in here to feel connected to them when you really feel like you're alone," she says, more of a statement than a question.  Aang nods, sliding his hand across his leg until it just barely grazes her fingertips.  

"I mean, obviously I always carry it with me, but sometimes it just really hits me that I'm the last one.  It's my responsibility to carry on the traditions of my entire culture, and I don't know if I can do that.  That's a lot of pressure and it's not even taking account for all the other pressures I have."

Both of them are silent for a while.  Aang contemplates everything he's gotten off his chest just now.  He thought he would feel violated, in a way, if anyone ever found him in here, but in actuality, he feels like a lot of his grief has been freed.  He knows it is only temporary, that it will return sooner or later, but he is grateful.  He's shared a lot of his longing for his people with Katara and Sokka, but they never really got it the way he wanted them to: Sokka just didn't know how to relate, wasn't comfortable enough with his own feelings, and Katara always pitied him and felt like she needed to baby him.  

Toph, on the other hand, took it in stride.  She always lets him air his troubles and tries to share them.  He doesn't think he’s ever properly appreciated that about her until right now.  He looks at her hand, still touching him as slightly as she possibly could, and wonders what it would be like to hold it.  

She inclines her head towards him and asks, "So what does that mean?  How do you plan to carry on your traditions?”

“Well...I’d like to restore the Air Temples first, I guess, when all this is over.  Maybe I’ll find some followers who would listen to the history and ways of the monks, even help restore some of the scrolls and artwork.”  Aang finds himself blushing and bowing his head, embarrassed by the vulnerable thoughts he had never told anyone until now.  For a moment, he is afraid Toph will tease him, point out all the flaws in his ideas, scold him for dreaming of this when he is days away from fighting the Fire Lord.

Instead, he suddenly finds her hand on top of his, fingers squeezing gently.  He lifts his head in surprise to see her offering a small smile.

“Well, you’ve found your first follower.  So you’d better start teaching.”

[songweretson]

The internet is such a double edged sword when it comes to content creation.

Traditional publishing, for books, music, etc., has always been very much to the publisher/labels benefit. This is why they've been able to absolutely take advantage of creators. There's a very "you need us, so we have the advantage", attitude. (I was talking to some friends about Taylor Swift re-releasing her music because of owner ship. And also how Paul McCartney and Michael Jackson's friendship was ruined when Michael purchased the rights to a chunk of Paul and the Beatles' music.)

So creators had to jump through hoops to try and get signed. I know book publishing best, so I'll focus on that. You have to submit your book to an agent, because you need that edge to get a publisher's attention. You have to format your cover letter, your synopsis, and everything else properly. You hope you catch the agent/their assistant on a good day, in a good mood, and they give your submission a chance.

Then they submit it to a publisher. And even if your book is good, you can be rejected because it's not "on trend". Or because it's too hard to market. Or whatever tiny reason they can find. It isn't even about quality - it's about the stars being in the right position, pretty much.

The internet, and all the options for self publishing, have removed a lot of those risks. Author's don't need to worry about meeting a couple editors' tastes - they can go straight to the audience. It gives the audience more options, as well.

But, it also removes the quality filter.

In publication, there's what's called "the slush pile". It was where submissions went if the agent/editor hadn't specifically requested it from the writer.

I remember reading an agent's blog years ago, and someone asked if there was a way to read what kind of submissions you found in the slush pile... And my thought was "just check out fanfiction sites". And anyone who's spent enough time looking through writing online knows that some people who think they can write really can't. (There's a difference between people who are just starting out, and learning, and people who have no sense of how to create a story, yet think they're geniuses.)

Imagine an editor opening a submission and finding something on the level of "My Immortal", and a fractured cover letter about how the writer is an unappreciated genius.

I watch a YouTuber called Saberspark, who reviews animated movies, some of which are from small studios, other are self-released. Some of which are absolutely hideous, and make no sense story wise. But he also reviews self-released projects that might be a bit rough around the edges, but are still really good.

YouTube has created an avenue for musicians who don't fit a traditional box, but who are still absolutely brilliant. As well as documentary makers, makeup artists, and animators, who might not have had a chance to share their work otherwise.

Like I said, it's a double edged sword. There are times I wish we did have a bit more quality control, if only so good projects didn't get lost in the endless deluge of crap. But at the same time, the lack of quality control is exactly why we get unique, niche things.

(P.S. All this being said, I write a fantasy romance series called Callatis Chronicles that you can read for free on my Ko-fi page. This post wasn't supposed to be about self-promotion, just my thoughts on how much content creation has changed. But it kinda fits, so please consider checking it out.)

[westerhos]

Our Story: Chapter 6

[December 24th, 1998]

There is something to be said for the peculiar hour of the blue-morning, when a hospital beeps into quiet life. Death rattles behind drawn curtains, expletives are spat over set bones, and shots are taken in the thigh. It is not like Jamie’s Grampian refuge, which springs forth naturally from the earth. Instead, Boston GH scars the landscape, numbing loneliness through morphine drips and the tug of sheer necessity.

It is during this gradual reawakening that Claire hides in a closet, imagines the pink, wet sacs of her lungs contract and expand. She counts her breaths to release the night’s chaos, still lodged deep in her throat.

During the wild evening hours, Claire sees only what exists outside her body. Such an easy thing to do as a doctor, this sudden corporeal separation—a leap into the procedural dance, a temporary loss of oneself to the staunching of blood and the sewing of sutures.

But eventually the window of calm arrives, and the wall of dissociation begins to crumble. Claire, in her closet sanctuary, returns to her body once more, the sight of her arms and her hands like four old friends reacquainted.

Claire hunkers down between two shelves, and relief travels from foot to torso, settling somewhere inside her gut. As always, she has brought her medical bag—a gift from her husband, CER embossed in golden filigree—and rummages through it. As always, she finds the folder and flicks it open, seeking the page that is stowed inside. She is forever tethered to its final sentence, which launches a fresh rip of longing straight to her chest.

And as always, she goes back to the beginning, following the words. Fingers like greedy sponges, text absorbing into skin.

NEW YORK CITY, 11:30AM - The diner hushes when the bell tinkles, announcing the arrival of literary darling James Fraser. He is a giant in more ways than one: six-feet tall, wide-set shoulders, and a critically-acclaimed author with legions of fans. But for all his inches and his clout, Fraser is blissfully unaware of the eyes on his back. When he sits opposite me and shakes my hand, I, like the rest of the world, find him to be impulsively likable.

Sporting one month’s growth of beard and a wrinkled v-neck, it doesn’t take long for Fraser’s roguish charm to earn a complimentary meal. He is quick to thank the waitress, and for not the first time, one has to wonder how the man could possibly be single. Surely his good looks, his talent, and Reformed Bad Boy reputation draws the ladies in?

Point proven: Our waitress lingers, hungry for Fraser’s attention, but he closes his menu after ordering a glass of lemonade. (An odd choice, but then our writing heroes are full of idiosyncrasies, aren’t they?) I almost leap to console the girl, that poor thing, as she runs a self-conscious hand down her apron.

Alas, one gets the impression that it isn’t pickiness keeping Fraser romantically unattached. Nor is it misogyny or closeted homosexuality (despite what those tabloid vipers spit). James Fraser simply enjoys his place in the lonely hearts club—and is perfectly content to stay there, sipping ice-cold lemonade.

Frank’s ring glides across the lines, pauses over “single”. Such a different life, so removed from Claire’s, though here it thrums beneath her hands. Suddenly, her head grows heavier, weighted by the chain draped around her neck. Jamie’s thistle ring dangles there, cold as death. Forever tucked inside her shirts, a secret between her breasts. (Frank lets her wear it, just as she lets him wear his stained button-downs, other women smiling from the collars.)

Fraser’s second and latest novel, Two Centuries in Purgatory, released just last month to stellar reviews. Hailed as a “modern classic” by The New York Times (and truly, it is), Purgatory has found a comfortable seat at the top of the bestseller lists, and shows no signs of losing momentum. Now touring the U.S., Fraser seems nonplussed by the bustle of the Big Apple, his eighth time to our concrete jungle (“I’ve a parade of publisher meetings and interviews tomorrow,” he grumbles). Though he’s a longtime resident of both Edinburgh and Glasgow, he says no city feels like home nowadays. “Where is home then?” I ask him, and in traditional Fraser fashion, he deadpans: “Lost.”

For all his fame and glory, there is something decidedly melancholy about James Fraser. But of course, we all know why. We’ve read his books, haven’t we? We know his story.

Gillian Edgars: Are you enjoying your lemonade, Mr. Fraser?

James Fraser: Aye, verra much so. Lemonade in Scotland doesna taste like this.

GE: Mmmm, exploring the pleasures of America. I like it. Now, shall we begin? Let’s start with Two Centuries in Purgatory.

Claire brings the page a few inches closer. This is not the first time she has read the article, its edges worn to yellowing curls.

A familiar anger sinks its claws into her side as this reproduction of Jamie staggers into a flickering half-life. Gillian Edgars thinks she knows the man behind the book jacket. The entire world, for that matter, believes they can claim the bold-faced names on their hardbacks.

But, Claire seethes, do these people know that Jamie smiles in his sleep? That he’s prone to seasicknesses, could not wink at the waitress even if he tried? No. Only Claire knows these smaller, intimate truths—but still, they are not enough. Jamie is no longer only hers, but a communal being disseminated and shared amongst millions. Strangers have molded her Jamie into something new, into hollow casts of their false impressions.

Without warning, the closet door swings open and Joe Abnernathy leans in. “Knew I’d find you in here,” he says, but he draws up short. His smile falters when he sees Claire on the ground. Falters further still when he reads the headline, "Scotland’s Newest Literary Hero," on the page and on her face.

“Lady Jane, why do you do this to yourself? We’re working, I know, but can’t you try to be merry? It’s officially Christmas Eve!”

Joe kneels down, and levels his gaze with hers—the gentle but silent disappointment of an older brother. Claire holds firm when he pries the clipping from her grasp, the paper snagging the skin of her palm. It glides over and up, a shallow curve that splits into fine, shining rubies. A jeweled J, just at the base of her thumb.

Claire presses the wound to her teeth, tastes the heady, metallic taste of herself. (Later, she will trace the cut with reverence, grateful to be marred, at the very least, by a shade of Jamie.)

Joe tsks and reaches for a shelf, bringing back the first aid kit.

“Perks of hiding in a hospital supply closet. Bandages, everywhere. Take this.”

“It’s fine, Joe,” Claire assures him but accepts the bandaid anyways. “I’m fine—just a bad day and a scratch. See? No significant blood loss.”

“Thought I’d witnessed the first fatal paper cut,” Joe says, but then continues, more softly, “LJ, I thought you’d given this up. That Frank made you promise you’d stop.”

“He did,” Claire replies. “And I did too, for a while.”

Her stomach turns as the memory resurfaces: her husband, feeding the shredder a feast of papers. The machine’s tight-lipped and fanged smile destroying Claire’s collection of articles, her glimpses of Jamie. Frank had held her as the teeth had chewed, tightened his grip when she repeated his words back to him, “Time to leave the past behind.” And afterwards, once the the bin had emptied into the trash, Frank had dragged the bag of shreds to the curb. Claire had looked on, standing in the doorway, a soldier’s wife already in mourning.

(That evening, she almost snuck outside to piece the words together, for old habits die hard and a planet will always yearn for her sun. But then Frank’s arm had risen in the darkness, flopped sleepily across her waist. The weight of it had held her there, and so she’d stayed, picturing the night creatures stealing Jamie away, piece by piece.)

“I just…wanted to see what people were saying. About his new book.” She sighs. “I know I’m being ridiculous. It’s just that…”

“He’s everywhere, isn't he? In the papers, on TV. Saw they’re making a Lifetime adaptation of A Blade of Grass. Jesus.”

Claire nods. “Steering clear of that one.” (But she won’t, of course. Claire will want to see herself and Jamie on that screen, their better, manufactured selves broadcasted in technicolor.)

“You’re really gonna let me down like that, Lady Jane? I thought we’d drink cheap Scotch, put the movie on mute, and invent the dialogue ourselves. Next weekend, the two of us. Drunk and vengeful. Whaddya say?”

“A hard pass, Joe. We’ll be in Oxford for the holidays, anyways. Visiting Frank’s family.”

“Well, la-di-dah. I’ll be on this side of Atlantic throwing popcorn at my TV.” Joe leaps to his feet when his pager beeps. As he walks out the door, his hand flies to his coat pocket and he withdraws a shabby paperback. “Before I forget—a Christmas gift, for the Lady. If you’re gonna scramble your brain with nonsense, let it be Tessa’s ‘membrane of innocence’. Not ‘Scotland’s Newest Literary Hero.’”

Claire laughs and flips through The Impetuous Pirate, inhaling its smell of antiseptic and mildew and the vestiges of long-ago fingerprints. A Harlequin, taken from the hospital waiting room. “Aye aye, captain. But if it’s all the same to you, I’ll stay here in Davy Jones’ Locker for a while longer.”

Joe nods, consoling, before he turns to answer an intern's cries for help.

Alone again, Claire tucks The Impetuous Pirate inside her bag, picks up the discarded article from the floor. For the first time, she notices its publication date, October 20th, was her 31st birthday. She cannot remember the details of the occasion—Did Frank take her to a concert, or to a movie? Buy her flowers or chocolates?—and yet a foreign scene plays so clearly in her mind. It is something cut from the script of her life, the stagehand’s hook pulling her to the wings before she has a chance to speak. Cast in the closet’s dim spotlight, it unfolds as the playact that could have been but never was:

Jamie, in the New York diner, drinking lemonade. Condensation like dew drops, rolling down the pitcher. A young girl in Gillian Edgars’ place, singing a high soprano. And Claire, beside her, blowing out candles in a single huff.

As she slices the birthday cake, this almost-Claire nicks her finger on the knife’s blade. “Kiss to make it better!” the young girl cries, and Jamie does, his lips are on the sting, and then Claire’s mouth. He tastes of citrus, of yellow and sunshine, a marigold paradise in a city of dying autumn leaves. “Does it still hurt, Sassenach?” he asks her. “Not anymore,” she says. And when the little girl giggles, watching them, it is something sacred. She licks the frosting from the candles. “So what’d you wish for, Mama?” she asks, not knowing that, in a moments like these, there is no need for wishes.

Claire’s pager rings, rearranging her memories. Now she remembers her 31st birthday—and knows it did not happen in that diner. On that day, there was no little girl; no citrus kisses in a molting New York.

Instead, Frank had taken Claire to the opera house, a drawn-out affair they had both fidgeted through. Back at home, he had led her to the bedroom and its king-sized bed, had slipped off her dress while she kept her chain on. “Talk to me,” he’d panted, silver thistles against her chest. And when she came, it was not Frank’s body that drew her cries. It was not Frank’s name that rose from her lips.

Claire scans the article, skipping again to the final paragraphs. Here lies the line she reads over and over, the very reason she shells $15 for subscriptions and scavenges in bins for scraps. Anything to discover some evidence of herself, some proof that she still lives in the peripheries of Jamie’s life. And whenever she finds it, it pours into her and lingers, like wine.

GE: Your debut was quite impressive—an instant bestseller, an Oprah Book Club pick, an upcoming TV movie. I’m sure you’ve been asked this before…but allow me to be a hack for just one moment. Let me ask the nosy questions. Let me pry.

JF: I dinna have a fear of rats [SMILES]. Get on wi’ it then.

GE: I appreciate it, Mr. Fraser, I do [LAUGHS]. The protagonist’s struggles in A Blade of Grass—the financial woes, the criminal record, the years of solitude—they seem to mirror your own. Is it accurate to say that the book is autobiographical?

“Randall?” a voice calls from outside the closet. “Randall, are you in there? Mr. Duncan in Room #18 needs to be—”

“Prepped for surgery, I know!” Claire finishes. Her voice is shrill, rising with her goosebumps as she nears the interview’s end. “I’ll be out in a second, Dr. Hildegarde!”

JF: In some respects, aye, A Blade of Grass is autobiographical. Mind, I made a lot of it up myself. Embellished a few things.

GE: Oh yes, certainly. But even without your embellishments, your life does make for such an interesting tale. In a way, your struggles are what made you a literary sensation. But still, I do wonder—do you regret any of it? The gamble, the money, the arrest?

JF: [LAUGHS QUIETLY] I thank ye for the compliment, Ms. Edgars, but I hope my sins are no’ responsible for the book’s success. And for the record, they were largely exaggerated by the press.

GE: Ah, right. We rats are despicable creatures, always desperate for crumbs. But they never fill the belly, not really.

JF: Have ye tried poetry before, Ms. Edgars? You’ve a knack for it [LOOKS AWAY]. But nay, it isna the crimes themselves that I regret most. Whether they were exaggerated or no.

GE: Really? There’s something else [LEANS FORWARD]? Will you tell me then, your life’s biggest regret? Or will you keep me and your readers in the dark, forever wondering what keeps our beloved James Fraser up at night?

Now Claire closes her hand into a fist, forces herself to bleed out from that thin, half-mooned J. She imagines Jamie’s face, inscrutable to Gillian Edgars, but fixed in an expression that she, and only she, can read. And if Claire had been there on that October afternoon, sitting in the diner’s vinyl booth, she would have understood. Would’ve known already what Jamie regretted most, what he would and could not say aloud. For within this precious, final line—their spoken and unspoken wishes:          

JF: My biggest regret? I let the story end early.

(JF: I should have loved her better—God! I should have loved her better.)

_______

I have very few comments about this one, but I will say A) Jamie’s POV comes much more naturally to me—probably because I, like Jamie, love Claire so frickin’ much—so writing this was like pulling teeth. And B) As I was writing this chapter, I knew it was time to bring Jamie and Claire back together. Even I was rooting for them to reunite.

I love Joe and Claire’s friendship, and I wish I’d shown more of it in this fic (although what’s here I think fits pretty naturally). And I have to say...I love Geillis—or the idea of her: witchy, feminist, and confident—a whole lot, despite her Voyager crimes. Here, she is my Outlander version of Harry Potter’s Rita Skeeter, and I could write an entire fic from her voice any day.

[heyyyharry]

Chapter 13: The Oscars

(from the My Girl Trilogy: Stay Mine)

…in which they attend the Oscars and Y/N almost misses it.

Word count: 5k

AU: actor!Harry, older!Harry, younger!Y/N, (4-year age gap).

Song in the kitchen scene: A Million Times - Alice Kristiansen ft. Julian Lamadrid 

Wattpad link (Thea as Y/N)

.

.

.

“And the Oscar goes toooooooo...HARRY STYLES!”

“Stop making fun of me!”

“I’m not!” Y/N plumped down on to the treehouse floor, sitting with her legs crossed as she shook Harry’s arm gently. “Come on. Don’t be so hard on yourself.”

“I’m not being hard on myself. I’m being realistic,” he replied, toying with a yellow leaf he’d found on the floor just to avoid making eye contact as they spoke. Y/N didn’t get why he was embarrassed and so doubtful of himself. She had seen him on stage when he’d been Romeo last year. He was one of the best kid actors and no one could convince her otherwise.

“Your new drama teacher was a meanie,” she huffed, arms folded across her chest.

Harry finally cast her a glance as the corners of his mouth turned up. “You’re not being objective. Mrs Berry was.”

“You’re a kid! Kids are allowed to make mistakes. That’s the only way they can learn and improve. My writing sucks but you don’t see me giving up.”

“Has anyone ever told you your writing sucks?”

“Celine’s brother.”

“He’s an arsehole.”

“Harry!”

“Sorry,” Harry chuckled, lifting both hands. “He’s a bum.”

Y/N didn’t laugh when he did. If her mum and dad knew he cursed all the time, they wouldn’t let her hang out with him anymore. “Well,” she exhaled. “I feel sorry for your teacher. She probably has nothing better to do with her life than crushing kids’ dreams because her dreams had died with her talent when she became a teacher instead of an actress.”

“Are you sure you’re ten years old?” Harry smiled, giving her a look that could be interpreted as either amazed or amused or both.

She’d never told him, but he had one of the best smiles she’d ever seen, which was why she was sure he would become successful. Having a great smile was a great quality for every actor. At least that was what her best friend Celine had told her.

“Are you sure you’re older than me?” she rebutted.

He lifted his shoulders in a half-shrug. “I’m gonna listen to you because you’re a know-it-all.”

She said nothing and launched herself to her feet, clearing her throat. He watched with a confused look on his face when she picked up his water bottle and held it with both hands like the way an actor would hold the Oscar statue.

“Harry is too shy to come on stage and accept this Academy Award,” she said, “so I’m gonna accept it on his behalf. He’d like to thank his family, his drama teacher Mrs Berry, and his biggest fan Y/N aka Bambi. These are the people who helped shape his career.” Harry doubled over laughing as she lifted the water bottle above her head. “Thank you so much for this award. Have a good night, Los Angeles!”

.

.

.

Y/N contemplated her reflection in the full-length mirror while Harry was watching her from the couch on the side. She cast him a sideways glance, to which he responded with a thumbs-up and a grin.

She sucked in a breath, looking back at herself. She looked different. She felt different. She had worn plenty of expensive gowns that didn’t belong to her and attended countless exclusive events with Harry before. But this. This was the Academy Awards. And she was wearing the kind of dress that was meant to turn heads on the red carpet, the kind of dress that models wore on the runway. She used to watch award shows with her best friends all the time, and could never imagine herself pulling off such elegant outfits. But now, she almost looked like she belonged at the Oscars.

She wasn’t wearing any make-up and her hair was in a simple low ponytail, so she knew the dress had done all the work to make her look desirable. Harry’s designer had taken the inspiration from the iconic silver dress in The Little Mermaid, when Ariel returned from the sea and reunited with Prince Eric. Harry had joked that Y/N resembled a fawn more than a princess, and she had smacked him hard on the arm, proving that she was neither.

“Is it too tight?” asked Meili – the designer. She was so kind that Y/N felt like they’d been friends forever. But on second thought, being a professional, it was Meili’s job to make her clients feel most comfortable in and out of her designs.

“No, this is perfect,” Y/N said.

“Are you sure?” She confirmed with a nod. “All right.” Meili patted her gently on the back. “How about we try walking?”

And so Y/N descended the steps and sauntered about the fitting area to make sure she was comfortable and able to breathe normally. Harry had risen from the sofa and come to stand beside Meili, his eyes dancing with amusement as he watched Y/N strike a silly pose.

“What do you think?” she asked him.

Instead of answering the question, he turned to Meili. “Can you show me how to take it off?”

Meili had quite a good laugh watching Harry with his hands up in defence as Y/N tried to hit him without hurting the dress. It was then that the sound of her ringtone from her bag came for his rescue.

He pecked her cheek and stayed to chat with Meili about his outfit while Y/N answered the call from her agent.

“Y/N!” Laura said before Y/N could speak. “What are you doing, babe?”

“I’m at the fitting for the Oscars.”

There was a pause followed by a dramatic sigh. “Oh, I nearly forgot that you’re attending the Oscars. Are you nervous?”

“Kind of.” Y/N giggled. “But I suppose you’re not calling me to ask what I’m doing, are you, Laura?”

“Of course not! I’d like to remind you that we’re having a party next Saturday!”

“Right, right, party–No!”

Both Harry and Meili whipped their heads back to gape at Y/N.

“What do you mean?” he asked. “I thought it was a brilliant idea–”

Y/N shushed her boyfriend as she indicated the phone to let him know she wasn’t talking to him.

“Hi, Laura!” he shouted, and Laura, who obviously had heard it, squealed like a schoolgirl and demanded to be put on speaker.

Y/N tapped the speaker icon as she slumped into the couch where Harry soon joined her, sitting with an arm around her shoulders. “Hi, Laura,” he repeated.

Laura laughed excitedly. “Hi, Harry! We’ve never met before but I’ve heard so much about you!”

“And I’ve heard so much about you!”

“I’m your client, Laura. Not him,” Y/N snorted as Harry kissed her temple.

“Oh, yes, right.” Laura cleared her throat to compose herself. “So what’s the matter? I thought–”

“The Oscars is next Sunday night, Laura. I have to catch the plane on Saturday morning. I can’t go to your party.”

“Your party, Y/N.”

“What party?” Harry asked.

Y/N opened her mouth to answer but Laura was faster. “To celebrate your girl’s debut novel! It hasn’t come out yet, but everything is settled. It’s a tradition. I always throw this party for my client. Everyone at the agency will be there and there will be some guests from the publishing house and some published authors. It’ll be grand.”

Y/N sucked in a breath and pinched her temple, her eyes met Harry’s. His expression was unreadable. To Laura, she asked, “Can we push it back a few days?”

“Absolutely not! I’ve sent out the invitations. You told me any date this month would do!”

Y/N had. And she kind of regretted it now. She’d been chatting with Gemma when Laura asked her about the date. Gemma had been devastated by what had happened with Winton, so Y/N had been busy comforting her and told Laura to just pick any date she’d like. It was all her fault; she should have reminded Laura about the Oscars.

Y/N glanced back at Harry, hoping he didn’t think she’d purposely prioritized her success over his. Because why would she think her first novel was a better reason to celebrate than his first-ever Oscar nomination?

But Harry didn’t seem vexed. His dimples appeared as he traced his fingertips along the strap of her sparkling dress. “It’s okay, Laura,” he said to the phone. “You don’t have to change the date.”

Y/N’s eyes went round as Laura hissed, “Yes!”

“Baby–”

“You’ll go to your party,” he said, “and I’ll send my ride to pick you up and take you to the airport. They won’t leave without you, silly.”

Right. She’d be travelling on his private jet.

“But...I’ll be late.”

“So?” He shrugged nonchalantly. “I can manage the first few hours without you. Why should your career be any less important than mine?”

“He’s right, Y/N,” Laura said.

Y/N swivelled in her seat to face him as she took his hand. “I’ll just come to say hello to the guests–”

“And give a speech!” Laura interjected, making Y/N roll her eyes and Harry chuckle.

“Fine, I’ll come to say hello and give a speech and then I’ll come to you.”

“Deal?” His lips twitched as he gave her his pinkie.

“Deal,” she said, hooking her pinkie with his.

.

.

.

The party was insane.

Y/N had specifically asked Laura not to overdo this, but the agent had insisted on throwing her favourite client the most Gasby party she could pull off. Y/N didn’t even know half of the faces who’d shaken her hand and congratulated her on her debut novel which hadn’t been released yet. She felt like a fraud. What if these people ended up hating her book? What if this party made her seem like a show-off? She was already dating an Oscar nominee; she didn’t want to be branded as any more privileged than that.

She kept the speech she’d promised Laura as short and simple as possible, then returned polite smiles to the guests as she made her way to the back of the room. She wouldn’t be surprised if these folks thought that she had zero personality. When it came to self-branding, she needed all the help she could get. How did Harry do it? How did he charm people into liking him before they even viewed his work? As much as she loved him, she couldn’t help but envy him sometimes.

She wiped her sweaty palms on her dress before getting another glass of champagne and finishing it a second before Laura came up to check on her.

“You okay? You look a bit pale,” Laura said.

“Well, I tend to get anxious at formal events,” Y/N snorted, shaking her head. “I usually attend these kinds of parties with Harry. He’d do all the talking and help me get involved in the conversation. He’s very charismatic.”

“I’m charismatic!” Laura said with a hand on her chest. Y/N responded with a smile. Laura wascharismatic. The problem was, Y/N was more comfortable with Harry. Or maybe she couldn’t help but feel guilty that she’d miss the red carpet walk with him. She hated to be the one to break a promise.

“You need to stop checking your watch like modern Cinderella at the royal ball.”

Y/N dropped her arm back to her side. “I’m so nervous, Laura.”

“About this party? People love you!”

“About...everything.” This party. Her 2 AM flight. The Oscars. Showing up late. Missing Harry’s category. Her book release. The likelihood of having people roast her book unforgivingly on the internet.

She had the tendency of freaking out over insignificant matters whenever good things kept happening to her. Because, as usual, bad luck would come for her when she was most defenceless and took away her joy. This time, she could feel it in her stomach.

Laura gripped her shoulders and squeezed them tight. “You are my superstar, Y/N. You are the shit. You are the most brilliant–”

“Okay, I get it, I get it,” she laughed, pulling Laura into a hug. “Thank you for tonight. I owe you so much, Laura.”

“Don’t be stupid. You saved my life. Literally,” Laura smirked and gently patted Y/N’s cheek. “Now, let’s go say goodbye to the guests. It’s almost time for you to go.”

Y/N didn’t need to be told twice. She’d been waiting for this moment since she’d arrived. People might wonder why she seemed more energetic saying goodbye to them than when she’d welcomed them to the party. But she was just happy that she could finally leave. The last thing she wanted was to show up late for her flight (Harry had said the plane wouldn’t leave without her but she hated delays anyway) and missed more of the Oscar ceremony tomorrow than she’d allowed herself to.

The journey to LA happened in a rush. She’d slept for most of her twelve-hour flight because she’d been so exhausted. Harry’s bodyguard only woke her up when they were about to land. The next thing she knew, she was taken to his LA house. She had never been there before. It was much bigger than the one in London, but less homely, perhaps because she’d known every corner of the place that was supposed to be theirs. This one just seemed like a resort.

The hair and makeup team and Harry’s stylist were waiting upstairs to make her Oscars-ready. She’d eaten quite a lot on the plane before it took off, so she feared she wouldn’t fit in the dress. Magically, she did. And she felt so silly for feeling like she might burst into tears.

When the makeup artist asked how she’d like to have her makeup done, she told them to make her recognizable. They didn’t ask her to elaborate on that, so she hoped they knew what she meant. She didn’t want to be the centre of attention tonight, especially when she was going to show up late. The only attention she craved for was Harry’s and she was going to get it anyway, with or without this glamorous costume.

Fortunately, the makeup artist did a fantastic job. They gave her simple eye makeup and red lips and put her hair up into a classic high bun. It wasn’t until tonight that she couldn’t stop staring at herself in the mirror. Harry would be so impressed.

As Harry’s team did some final touches on her face, one girl showed her some clips and pictures of Harry on the red carpet. He looked dashingly handsome and comfortable, and when being interviewed, he said he loved her and couldn’t wait to see her later. The part of her that had been feeling guilty could finally let go of that breath she’d been holding. She thanked the makeup team for everything and came downstairs when her car arrived.

The chauffeur was a middle-aged man with greyish hair and a kind face. He was talking on the phone and ended the call as soon as he saw her. He looked rather tired, but before she could ask for his name and if he was feeling well, she remembered that she’d left her clutch upstairs, and so she asked him to wait while she went back to get it. He told her to take her time.

When she came downstairs for the second time, the man was on the phone again. He didn’t see her return so he didn’t hang up. Y/N couldn’t help but overhear the last part of the conversation where he told whoever he was speaking to that he would be at the hospital as soon as he finished his job.

“Is everything okay, sir?” she asked once he’d finished the call. He whipped around, seemingly startled to see her there. “You can tell me if something is wrong. I might be able to help,” she said.

The chauffeur looked hesitant at first. He worked his jaw for a moment before he could tell her, “My daughter...is sick. She’s just been taken to the hospital. I’ll go see her as soon as I take you to–”

“No! You’re going to see her now!” cried Y/N.

He squinted his eyes at her as if he thought she was testing him. “Are you...are you sure, Miss? Mr Styles told me–”

“I’ll talk to Harry for you. Don’t worry.”

Telling someone not to worry never seemed to work. The man screwed up his face as he shoved a hand in his hair. “Should I send you another car, Miss? Mr Styles said...he said that you couldn’t drive.”

“Of course I can!” Y/N blurted, then realized how defensive she’d sounded.

She could drive. However, she was afraid to sit behind the wheel.

Ever since her accident, she’d been using public transport and let Harry drive her around instead of doing it herself. He knew it wasn’t just her anxiety of getting into another accident. Her mother had died in a car crash, and Harry had seen how scared she’d been when he’d crashed his motorcycle. Those final thirty seconds after the collision and before she’d gone unconscious, Y/N had felt it all at once. Her mother’s death, her almost losing Harry, her head cracking open and the numbness when she lay on broken glass and her vision faded to black. She could only hope she would get through her fear this time.

“I’ll take one of his cars,” she reassured the man. “Don’t worry about me, sir. Your daughter needs you.”

The man thanked Y/N repeatedly and hurried back to the car parked in the drive. Y/N waited until he was gone, checked the time to make sure she’d make it, then she sucked in a deep breath and headed to the garage.

.

.

.

Harry was a bundle of nerves trying to act composed while the other nominations were being presented. There were cameras everywhere and they could zoom into his face at any moment so he could not look like he might throw up. He was here for his Best Actor nomination; it’d be so embarrassing if he couldn’t act like he was having the best time of his life.

Y/N should have been here a long time ago. Where the fuck was she? She’d texted him that she’d drive here by herself. He didn’t want to be pessimistic, but the last time she’d sat behind the wheel, she’d ended up in the hospital.

It’d been half a year since, but he couldn’t forget that feeling when he got the call. He was praying to God that the next time his phone buzzed, it would be her telling him she’d arrived safely. If something unpleasant was going to happen (as it always did), he would accept anything as long as she was safe.

The moment his phone sounded, he jolted so hard he might have startled the lady sitting beside him. Jeff’s words swivelled in his head: Do not check your phone during someone’s acceptance speech.Well, screw that. His girl wasn’t here and the last thing he would worry about was looking like an asshole on live television.

➣ I’m here.

When he saw those words, the lump in his throat dissolved and his body relaxed into the cushion. His fake smile had been replaced with a genuine one, so at least people who saw him texting during Brad Pitt’s speech would just assume he was texting his girlfriend, who was supposed to fill the vacancy next to him.

Good. I saved you a seat, he typed and sent.

➣ I’m staying backstage. I can’t go out there.

Harry’s smile dropped as he squirmed in his chair. Why? Are you okay?

She took a bit longer to reply.

➣ Yes, don’t worry. There’s a screen here. I can watch you.

Harry muttered a curse as he put his phone back into his pocket. After a moment of leg bouncing and lip biting, he decided to go check on her.

.

.

.

Y/N splashed water on her face, which was now clean of makeup and checked her pathetic reflection in the mirror one last time before she left the bathroom. She’d been sweating so hard on the way here that by the time she’d arrived, Harry’s beauty team’s two-hour of hard work had been ruined. She’d even ripped her dress by accident when she’d nearly fallen headfirst in the car park, so going out there to sit beside Harry would do so much damage to his reputation.

Besides, she was fatigued after the long flight and hadn’t rested since she got off the plane. She’d thrown up as soon as she’d texted him and found the bathroom. So it was for the best if she didn’t make an appearance tonight. It was less intimidating here backstage. She could just watch him on the screen and–

Where the fuck was he?

Her eyes frantically searched on the screen for her boyfriend.

Where had he gone?

No, he couldn’t–

“Bambi!”

She smacked him with her clutch as he rushed in for a hug. The backstage security and a few others couldn’t help the amusement as they watched them. Y/N flashed the strangers a smile before turning back to her boyfriend, who looked so stupidly happy it should be illegal. “Jeff would kill you! Go back out there!”

“But you’re here,” he said.

“I’m not nominated, you idiot!”

“I’m the idiot? You drove here!”

“I have a fucking license!”

“Then you’re an idiot with a fucking license!”

He didn’t wait for her to rebut and locked her in his arms, squeezing the air out of her like he hadn’t seen her in years. She held him back, for a second forgetting that she was sweating like a pig, her hair had fallen loose and her face weary from jetlag. She didn’t feel any less desirable, though. She knew he loved her anyway.

“Go out there with me,” he said, cupping her cheeks and kissing her nose.

“Are you crazy? Look at me!”

He pulled back to consider her appearance, his eyebrow arched. “You’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen.”

She glared at him as he grinned. “The world doesn’t wear rose-coloured glasses like you do.”

His face grew serious. “You’re right. Maybe I see a princess and they see a frog.”

Too familiar with his teasing, she snorted, “Your ability to go from Prince Charming to an arsehole never fails to amaze me.”

“My pleasure.” He leaned in and brushed his lips against hers just in time his phone chimed in his pocket. “Shit, that must be Jeff. I must go before he finds me here.” He let out a long heavy breath and then stroked her hair like she was a child. “Can you stay here by yourself, baby?”

“Keep talking like that and people might think you’re my dad,” she said.

“Daddy.” He smirked.

She hit him again, shaking with laughter. “Go!”

“Okay, love you, idiot.”

“Love you, too, idiot.”

He kissed her on the cheek and then he was gone.

.

.

.

Harry didn’t win.

Even though he’d said he wasn’t disappointed, and he didn’t seem disappointed at all, Y/N still suspected that he might be faking it. It wasn’t such a big loss since he’d been up against some big contenders. He was young, so there was a bigger chance for him to get an Oscar in the future. However, she knew the feeling of not expecting anything but still feeling awful when you didn’t get it. She’d known his chance was flimsy, and yet she had hoped he’d win somehow. She might have to wait until next year to hear his acceptance speech.

Exhausted (Y/N more than Harry), they skipped the after-party to have one at home by themselves. They drank champagne and danced barefoot around the kitchen in their nice clothes. The house which Y/N had compared to a resort soon became familiar with his presence.

Streetlights, stumbling home

To our very own, after party

Won't lie, when we're alone

You're my favourite poem to recite

Harry turned down the volume of the song playing on the speaker. As Y/N poured some more champagne, he climbed onto a chair, standing on one foot, the other foot resting on the kitchen island.

She watched him with lazy eyes and took another sip. “If you fall, I’ll let you fall.”

He chuckled. “I’m overwhelmed by your love, Bambi.” Then he shook his head and pulled out a folded piece of paper from his pocket. It took her two seconds to figure out that it was his acceptance speech. She slid into a chair and gazed up at him with her chin on her knuckles.

He cleared his throat extravagantly and began by thanking the Academy, the cast and crew and the director of his movie, then his family and his team. It must be the wine that made every word he said in that posh accent extremely funny. She laughed so hard she almost fell off the chair.

Then, he took the longest pause to consider her, and the room sank to silence as he worked his jaw before he proceeded. “There’s this girl I love. She used to be my little secret but now she’s here watching me accept my first Academy Award. She’s the reason I’m here today, so I owe this one to her.”

Then he raised his glass as if it was the award and hopped off the chair. Before she could applaud, he’d pulled her to her feet and pressed his mouth against hers, kissing her as if she was the only thing he wanted. She kissed him back just as hard, hands in his hair, on his neck, his chest, his back, his face. Her whole body was on fire. It must be the wine. She needed to get out of this dress and get him out of his suit.

Went to bed without you (While you were sleeping)

Felt colder it used to (I crossed an ocean)

And I can't wait (And I can't wait)

'Till I get back to you

“It sounded better when I first wrote it. I’m kind of glad I didn’t win,” he said against her lips as he picked her up and sat her on the edge of the kitchen island.

She tipped her head back and laughed. “At least you weren’t going to propose to me on the stage.”

Suddenly, he stopped. She blinked as he pulled away, his mouth red and glossy from kissing her. She hadn’t even got a chance to feel bad for making that joke and he’d already stepped back. The next thing she knew, he was on one knee on the floor.

She slapped a hand over her open mouth. Her mind went blank, and the music in the background faded to white noise. The thundering beats in her chest made it hard for her to breathe. He wasn’t going to, was he? But if he was, was she going to say yes?

“My beautiful mermaid, frog, little deer,” he began with a straight face, and she choked out an unexpected laugh muffled by her hand. “I love you,” he said. “And I want to spend the rest of my life with you.” Then he sucked in a breath. The suspense was killing her. “But...I don’t want to marry you–”

“Excuse me?!”

“–right now.”

She could tell he was trying his best not to guffaw at her reaction. She was confused and amused at the same time. What was going on? Was he really that drunk? He didn’t seem that drunk. She would kick his arse if he thought this was funny!

“I just want to let you know,” he went on despite the look on her face, “that I will ask you to marry me. I know you hate surprises and if I asked you unexpectedly, the chances of you saying no would be much higher. So let’s consider this as a proposal for a bigger proposal.” He wetted his lips, his eyes fixed on hers. “Y/N, my darling, will you allow me to ask you to marry me someday?”

She laughed out loud though her eyes were already filled with tears. She didn’t know why she was crying but she couldn’t stop. She blamed the wine and him and his stupid speech and whatever the fuck he thought he was doing right now. “I hate you.” She laughed through her tears. “I hate you so much.”

He got up, his eyes wide. “You hate me after I told you I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you?”

“Yes.”

He closed the distance between them, standing between her legs with his hands on her hips. “Yes, I can ask you to marry me in the future, or yes, you hate me for what I said?”

“Both.” She threw her arms around his neck and pressed her mouth against his. “I love you. I hate you. I love you,” she said in between kisses. “I love you so much I hate you.”

“Tonight is the best night of my life,” he whispered, stroking her hair. “I didn’t want to win. I just wanted you to be there with me.”

“I’ll be there with you next time.” She rested her forehead against his. “And next time, and next time, and forever...”

You don't fall in love once but a million times

Waking up each morning with you by my side

When I drift away, I'll come back with the tide

I'm falling in and out again

Falling in and out again

[simul16]

Somebody's Guide to Whatever This Place Is

Back in September of 2020, on the final day of the D&D Celebration online event, Ray Winninger, the then-newly-installed Executive Producer of D&D announced that three new campaign settings would be introduced into Fifth Edition D&D in 2021. Speculation over which 'classic' settings would be chosen was rampant, and nearly every old setting had folks who were willing to either predict that setting or at least express a desire for that setting to be one of the settings updated for 2021. (The article linked above suggested that Dark Sun, Spelljammer, and Greyhawk would be good choices, but again, this was more 'these are the settings I'd like to see' then 'these are the settings that are most likely to occur'.)

In the six months that have passed since then, we've gotten confirmation on two of those three settings. The first is Dragonlance, in the aftermath of the lawsuit brought by Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman related to a new Dragonlance trilogy that was, in theory, going to be pocket veto-ed by WotC, but is now back on schedule to be published later this year.

The second was revealed in a recent product announcement: in May of 2021, a new setting book, Van Richten's Guide to Ravenloft, will be released. Few predicted Ravenloft would be one of the two settings Winninger referred to, as WotC had already released Curse of Strahd, a hard-cover re-imagining of the classic I6 Ravenloft module from AD&D days updated for Fifth Edition, and had at the same time allowed folks to update other parts of the Ravenloft setting to Fifth Edition via the DMs Guild. Now that the announcement is official, I'm filled with trepidation as to what WotC is going to do with the full campaign setting.

There are a number of things WotC could do with the setting that would make me at least appreciate if not love the new version of the setting, but I'm not holding out a great deal of hope that these things will actually happen. Nevertheless, I thought I'd note some of those things here as a preliminary 'wish list' of things that would make me happy about the re-imagined 5E Ravenloft, and more importantly, why.

Break up 'the Core' into Islands of Terror

Curiously, this is something we already know will actually happen in the 5E Ravenloft setting, thanks to information included as part of the announcement. Nevertheless, it's a change that has a number of more traditional Ravenloft fans upset.

"The Core" is a group of domains physically connected into a single giant land mass which can be navigated as any other continent on a campaign world might be, either via road, river, or what-have-you. Those who argue that the Core should remain do so under the presumption that, if you plan to use Ravenloft as a campaign setting, you need a way to migrate from one domain to another. There are some domains that aren't part of the Core, either in 'clusters' (smaller groups of related domains 'clustered' together into geographic units like the Amber Wastes or the Verdurous Lands, or as isolated 'islands of terror'. Since these other domains are separated from the Core by the Mists, they are at least in theory harder to get to; there are a few 'Mistways' which can be used to travel from one domain to a cluster or island or vice versa, but those Mistways are by their nature unreliable, resulting in anything from a small to an almost certain chance of not actually ending up where you intend to go. Meanwhile, simply marching down the Old Svalich Road from Barovia will ultimately and unerringly get you to the next domain along the road, unless Strahd chooses to close the borders of his domain, preventing your escape.

So why am I in favor of this change? Because it makes sense given the existing campaign canon. The last books to be published that actually defined and/or expanded the Ravenloft setting were published under license by Swords and Sorcery Studios back during Third Edition, specifically a series of Gazetteers with the conceit that they were written by a mysterious chronicler called 'S' at the behest of the lord of Darkon, Azalin Rex. Included in that chronicle was evidence that the lord of Falkovnia, one Vlad Drakov, had tired of being continually defeated in his attempts to conquer his domain neighbors (this is, in fact, part of Drakov's punishment as a darklord, that his military, supreme within his own domain, is powerless to project his authority outside it) and allied himself with the new Dukkar and de facto ruler of Invidia, Malocchio Aderre, to invade their mutual neighbor Borca. Whether this is simply accidental genius on Drakov's part, or whether he had puzzled out some aspect of his punishment and decided that an alliance with a power that wasn't subject to his personal curse might serve as a way around that curse wasn't made clear, but the underlying assumption was that given the relative military power of the domains in question, unless Borca's allies in the 'Treaty of Four Towers' came to its defense, Borca would not be able to survive the combined forces of both Falkovnia and Invidia and would fall. More to the point, nothing would prevent Malocchio, who is not a darklord, from entering Borca and removing that domain's darklord (or more accurately, twin darklords). The simplest way for the Dark Powers to enforce Drakov's curse and ensure that his mutual invasion with the Dukkar doesn't succeed, or at least results in such a huge cost that the victory likely won't be worth the price, is for the Dark Powers to close the borders around both Falkovnia and Borca; doing so would turn every passage from Falkovnia or Invidia into Borca into a Mistway, and even such a Mistway with 'excellent reliability' would cause the invading forces to be decimated -- 10% of all the creatures passing through the Misty Border would be re-directed to other locations and would thus be extremely unlikely to be able to contribute to the war effort. For an adventuring party, this is irritating, but for an army, where each different member of a unit is part of a larger structure, randomly removing 1 in 10 members of that army results in organizational chaos and disaster. Add in that communications between the army in Borca and its headquarters in Falkovnia also are now subject to the potential for Mist-led misdirection, and that Drakov, as a darklord himself, is unable to pass over the Misty Border at all, and Drakov's curse seems fairly easily enforced as a result.

But if the Dark Powers are going to isolate Falkovnia and Invidia, why not take the obvious next step and simply isolate every domain in the Core from every other domain? It only makes sense.

There is another reason why such a change makes sense, but it's more properly discussed as part of a larger idea:

Tie the changes to the Time of Unparalleled Darkness

Changes in D&D editions have often resulted in changes to D&D's associated campaign settings. The best example of this is actually the Forgotten Realms. When D&D moved from 1st to 2nd edition, the changes in the rules necessitated by this change were propagated to the Realms as part of a Realms-wide event, known as the Time of Troubles (or the Avatar Crisis), where the deities of the Realms were kicked out of their divine realms by the Overgod Ao and forced to dwell on Faerun in mortal forms. Some deities survived, while others didn't, which helped explain the changes in the world resulting from the changes in the D&D rules (the removal of assassins as a class option was justified by the death of the god of assassins during this time, for example). Similarly, when Third Edition was replaced by Fourth Edition D&D, the Realms was subjected to the Sundering, a worldwide disaster that unravelled the Weave, significantly modified the world's geography, and even posited a land swap between Toril and its twin sister world Abeir to explain the sudden appearance of dragonborn, which went from being an optional splatbook race in Third Edition to a core racial option in Fourth. (Nearly all of these changes were undone as part of the move from Fourth Edition to Fifth, but the Sundering still canonically happened in the Realms, continuing to support the changes in the setting that still needed to be justified by rules changes).

A similar thing occurred in Ravenloft, referred to alternately as the Grand Conjunction or the Great Upheaval (and referred to in even different ways in specific domains, such as in Sri Rajj, where it is called the "Rebirth of Kali"), and resulted in a reshuffling of the Core's domains, with some Islands of Terror becoming parts of the Core (Dominia), some parts of the Core becoming Islands of Terror (Bluetspur, G'Henna), some parts of the core being relocated (such as Markovia moving from a landlocked Core domain to an island in the Nocturnal Sea), and some domains being absorbed into other domains (Arak being absorbed into Darkon, Arkandale being absorbed into Verbrek, Dorvinia being merged into Borca, and Gundarak being split between Invidia and Barovia). PCs had the opportunity to participate in the lead-up to this event through a series of six adventures that represented the six parts of Hyskosa's Hexad, a prophecy from a past Dukkar that presaged massive change and destruction in Ravenloft. So in a sense, simply turning all of the Core's domains into Islands of Terror wouldn't necessarily be the most drastic change that's ever been made to the campaign's setting, but the past changes were at least tied to an in-game event that is both known and is significant to the domain's residents.

The Time of Unparalleled Darkness, another prophecy, though this one not from a Vistani seer but from a priest of the goddess of the Mists, already exists in Ravenloft as a future peril (at least it was in the future as of the current date of the setting while it was in the hands of Swords & Sorcery Studios); tying the 5E campaign changes to the Time of Unparalleled Darkness, and simultaneously advancing the campaign timeline past 775 BC (Barovian Calendar), the predicted year of the Time of Unparalleled Darkness, would further cement the event as part of existing Ravenloft lore, rather than making the changes seem arbitrary. This isn't to say that part 1 above (the breakup of the Core into Islands of Terror) has to be contemporaneous with the Time of Unparalleled Darkness -- in fact, a pretty good series of adventures, not unlike the Hyskosa's Hexad adventures, could likely be written as a prelude to the Time of Unparalleled Darkness, with the rising of the Mists occurring in an early adventure as part of the PCs' investigation into the joint Falkovnian/Invidian invasion of Borca and culminating in the event that results in more signficant changes to the domain.

De-emphasize the role of darklords in the setting

In reading about other folks' opinions on the upcoming Ravenloft book, it's a bit surprising to me how many of them are convinced that the 'point' of Ravenloft as a setting is to throw your PCs against the machinations and the will of the setting's various darklords, and I'll admit that Curse of Strahd, looked at simplistically, doesn't seem to go against this premise. Though much of what the PCs do in Curse of Strahd is only peripherally related to Strahd himself, the PCs can't actually leave Barovia without venturing into Castle Ravenloft and 'defeating' Strahd, which opens the way for them to escape. Because of this, a lot of folks who seem to be opposed to the idea of breaking up the Core seem to be basing their opposition on the idea that it would thus be harder for PCs to 'piss off' a darklord and then escape into a neighboring domain, where that darklord holds no sway. (This seems to ignore that most darklords of the Core have the power to close the borders of their domains, thus forcing irritating PCs to 'stay put' and receive their punishment for defying the darklord's wishes, but whatever.)

I happen to think that this is a fundamental misrepresentation of the role of the darklords in the Ravenloft setting, akin to someone believing that a Call of Cthulhu adventure isn't complete until and unless the characters have come face-to-face with one of the Great Old Ones, from which the adventure takes its flavor and inspiration.

To continue the comparison with Call of Cthulhu, the main conceit of that game is that the Great Old Ones are above humanity; so far so that not only can humanity not deal with the very existence of the Great Old Ones (any human who directly encounters one has their sanity shattered as a result), but that humanity is but a tiny speck against the long-term plans and goals of the Great Old Ones. The Great Old Ones don't hunt down and destroy those who defy them; at best, a Great Old One might wave away such irritations as we would wave at a gnat, but the real 'hunting', if it occurs at all, occurs by the cult (or cults) devoted to the Great Old One who take umbrage at their own part of the grand design being thwarted (even though, again, from the perspective of the Great Old One, it doesn't matter which of their irrelevant minions brings about their will, because they know their designs will ultimately come to fruition regardless). The role of PCs in Call of Cthulhu is not to destroy or even defeat a Great Old One, but to defeat a plan set in motion by the more mundane servants of a Great Old One, thus pushing doomsday off for another time, and for a later group of investigators to discover and (hopefully) thwart again.

This isn't to say that Ravenloft has to become the same game as Call of Cthulhu; most of the darklords in pre-5e Ravenloft were once mortal, so their motivations are not nearly as odd and inscrutable as the alien thought processes of the entities in the worlds of HP Lovecraft: the evils in a Gothic horror story are much more understandable and comprehensible than the evils of a cosmic horror story. I'd even argue that the classics of Gothic horror, on which a number of Ravenloft domains are based, are more akin to classical tragedies -- for example, the hubris of Victor Frankenstein in striving to create life causes him to build a monster and almost create a race of such monsters, and it costs him his own family. Victor Mordenheim's hubris is similar, and creates a similar, though slightly different tragedy. In this sense, one could create a Ravenloft domain based on the story of Oedipus and it would fit right in with the other tragic darklords of the setting. This kind of tragedy has a very different feel than the cosmic horror of Call of Cthulhu, and should feel different, though neither strictly fits within the existing structure of how stories are told in D&D.

The other thing that de-emphasizing darklords allows is for the focus of adventures to be put back onto those who fight the monsters rather than the monsters themselves. It's not coincidental or a surprise that the height of the setting's popularity was coupled with the most popular and well-known character unique to the setting (rather than either of the D&D adventures that preceded it): Dr. Rudolph Van Richten. Van Richten is rightly known for being a monster-hunter, yet never once does Van Richten defeat or even directly oppose a darklord; the only two times Van Richten (in pre-5e material) interacts with a darklord are once very early in his career, when the lich-king Azalin Rex helps Van Richten take his revenge on the Radanovich clan of Vistani for kidnapping his son Erasmus, who is turned into a vampire by Baron Metis, and later when Van Richten's stealthy intrusion into Castle Ravenloft while Strahd "sleeps" serves as the framing device for the self-serving version of Strahd's history related in "I, Strahd" to leak out into the Realms of Dread. Van Richten doesn't even defeat every enemy he comes across: for example, the fiend Drigor, whose serial possession of the Mandrigore family is responsible for the series of books known as The Mandrigorian, notably destroys all of Van Richten's adventuring companions, but leaves the Great Doctor himself alive to pass along the tale (as well as live with the error -- assuming that Drigor, the author of a centuries-long series of texts related to fiends and their relationship with the Lands of Mists, was lawful rather than chaotic -- that directly led to their deaths). Gothic heroes, after all, are frequently just as tragic if not more so than the villains they do battle with, and if they fail, as they sometimes do in such stories, it's that tragic flaw that is frequently the cause of their failure.

And as long as we're discussing Van Richten's tragic flaw...

Bring the setting's treatment of the Vistani more closely in line with their portrayal in Van Richten's Guide to the Vistani

When Chris Perkins set down to write his 'blood-soaked love letter to the Hickmans' that was Curse of Strahd, he largely left the Vistani as depicted by Tracy Hickman in that classic D&D module. This, understandably, was not considered a good move, as Hickman didn't even refer to the Vistani as the Vistani in that classic module -- they were 'gypsies' and served Strahd in an odd and inimical way which left them as representing many long-time stereotypes and prejudices of the actual Romani people. The reaction against that portrayal was one of a number of factors leading to last year's WotC announcement on Diversity and Dungeons & Dragons, and that WotC would be "working with a Romani consultant" to refocus their depiction of the Vistani to avoid these harmful and stereotypical assumptions. While the mention of the Romani consultant certainly helps them make their case that they are taking this task seriously when it comes to the Vistani, WotC already owns a much more nuanced view of the Vistani, if only they choose to make use of it.

To go back a moment to our previous item, Van Richten's tragic flaw is his sense of the rightness of his own actions, a tragic flaw that nevertheless doesn't expose itself until very late in the Great Doctor's career, when he finally comes to understand that his very first act as a monster-hunter, destroying the Radanoviches who were involved in kidnapping his son, caused him to be the target of a deadly Vistani curse. The twist is that the curse is not deadly to Van Richten himself, but to those who stand with him and whom he comes to care about, and it contributes to their destruction while leaving Van Richten himself alive to continue to spread woe just as he also brings hope. (See above for the tale of Van Richten versus Drigor both for another example of Van Richten's flaw as well as the operation of the curse.)

The story of how Van Richten comes to realize he is laboring under a Vistani curse, how he unwittingly cast a curse upon the Radanoviches as well, and how he and a Vistani whom he comes to know and befriend work to overcome their mutual curses forms the framing device for "Van Richten's Guide to the Vistani", written by David Wise, published by TSR in 1995, and inherited by WotC when they purchased TSR in 1998. Van Richten's Guide to the Vistani is one of my favorite game supplements of all time, for any game, and deserves to be remembered as more than just the supplement that provided rules to allow players to make full Vistani characters. The main reason why this supplement works so well (at least for me) is that the supplement humanizes the Vistani by having Van Richten travel with his new Vistani friend and living with different groups of Vistani, learning about them and the strange and wonderful (and terrible) things they can do.

No one doubts that there can be evil Vistani, just as there can be evil orcs, drow, and humans. The issue that some inelegantly fear will happen, though, is that rather than being portrayed as a complex culture of different views and perspectives, the Vistani will be 'Tolkienized' in much the same way as elves were within AD&D, made into a race that is strictly better than human in nearly every way. I don't believe that this is what is going to happen to the Vistani, however; if only because the old-school 'elves are awesome' perspective has already been unwound by the current design team in many ways (for example, by removing the racial-specific requirement to be a bladesinger). My concern is that the Vistani will become just another 'hat' that a PC can put on to look different than the default without actually having to be different from the default.

My biggest piece of evidence in favor of this approach is not the removal of culturally-specific items from each D&D 'race' (like bladesingers, which traditionally were elves, now coming from any race), but an argument made by a former administrator in the D&D Adventurer's League during the season in which Curse of Strahd was the feature hardcover, and in which all the associated AL adventures took place in the domain of Barovia. The first adventure in the series took place in the Forgotten Realms (the default setting for AL at the time), and described a family of wanderers from Barovia who physically resembled Faerun's version of a Romani-type culture: the Gur. It would make sense that typical residents of the Realms, unfamiliar with Ravenloft and their Vistani, would refer to this family as a curious tribe of Gur, since that's the thing they know. But this admin took the comparison a very large step farther, positing that every Romani-like or Traveler-like culture in any D&D campaign world was actually that world's version of the Vistani; in effect, positing the Vistani as a planar culture that simply goes by different names on different worlds. While this might be an interesting idea to posit with a new race of beings in D&D, my problem with this theory is that the Vistani are so closely tied to Ravenloft and iconic to that setting, that simply declaring that the Gur are 'Faerun's Vistani' is just as reductive and stereotypical as saying that the Gur are 'Faerun's Romani'. You're not solving the problem of problematic representation by claiming that every iteration of a real-world culture in fantasy is actually a copy-paste of a single view of that culture; if anything you're reinforcing the idea that any negative view of that culture in any setting is justified in all settings, simply due to the equating of that culture in one D&D world with the same culture on any other D&D world.

So the Vistani should remain unique to Ravenloft, in my view, and while a Romani consultant can certainly help with tweaking the portrayal of Vistani characters and the Vistani culture to be less overtly problematic, I don't see how it helps the Vistani retain their unique character that has helped them become such a well-known part of the Ravenloft campaign setting. More than just about every other work in D&D history, "Van Richten's Guide to the Vistani" actually does this, presenting the Vistani as a unique culture with its own drives, values, and heroes, while showing that the Vistani culture does not always agree with the 'default' cultures presented in other parts of the setting.

Perhaps I'll be pleasantly surprised on this topic, and the same designers who ultimately figured out that the alignment rules as presented in the Fifth Edition Players Handbook suggested that sexism was bad, but racism was surprisingly OK and decided to do something about it will take a similarly nuanced approach toward the Vistani in their new Ravenloft setting book. Unfortunately, I think a much more likely approach will be to do exactly what that AL admin thought was such a great idea; since they'll have gone to all the trouble to finally make 'good gypsies' for Ravenloft, they'll save themselves a lot of potential work by simply declaring that every Vistani-like culture in any other D&D setting is just the Vistani by another name, thus making every Romani-like or Traveler-like culture in D&D into the 'good gypsies' by default, erasing any question of cultural complexity or questionable flavor in the hope of being more palatable to a mainstream audience that wants to believe that their new Vistani character is just as good as the default, but doesn't want to be bothered to learn why.

[aion-rsa]

Where Are All of the Mothers in Fantasy Fiction?

https://ift.tt/eA8V8J

This is a guest post from Gabriela Houston, the London-based Polish author of Second Bell, a Slavic fantasy debut described as a cross between His Dark Materials and The Bear and the Nightingale. You can find out more about the book here.

Historically speaking, the fantasy genre has a thorny relationship with motherhood. Technically, it’s acknowledged that the protagonists must have sprung from somewhere. But it is often solely their paternity that is seen as important—while the mothers, if mentioned at all, are usually either dead of irrelevant: unmentioned or languishing in a convent somewhere.  If the mothers (or stepmothers: a different type of a mother-figure) persist in being alive into their children’s adulthood they are most often presented as an obstacle to their child’s self-actualisation/quest, or, as is most common with the stepmother archetype, present an actual threat to the protagonist. 

Since mainstream fantasy as a genre was Eurocentric, this is a trend that is very much connected to the patriarchal structures persisting throughout Europe for most of recorded history.  King Arthur, whose legend was first written down in the 12th Century by Geoffrey of Monmouth, had a mother, of course, but her only real importance was in how her beauty drew the eye of Uther Pendragon, who raped her, conceiving Arthur. Since Uther ended up marrying Arthur’s mother, Igraine, story-wise all was considered to be well, and, her role in birthing the future king done, Igraine became an irrelevance, just as any feelings and thoughts she might have had on her second husband. All we know is she was beautiful, chaste and gave birth to the real protagonist of the story. 

The courtly love conventions forming the basis of many medieval European legends have seeped into the genre of fantasy, especially high fantasy, and have shaped the way in which female protagonists are related to. In most “traditional” fantasy, motherhood was seen as nearly opposite to personhood. A female character’s value centred squarely on her attractiveness to the male protagonist, meaning that the moment she aged/became a mother, she ceased to hold that particular form of attention that comes from extreme youth and innocence. Motherhood is seen as the end of a female character’s journey. The experiences, shifting relationships and emotions linked to motherhood are not seen as interesting enough to garner any space at all. 

In The Lord of The Rings, we are faced with a whole cast of missing mothers. Moreover their absence is not noted as particularly important or carrying any emotional load. Aragorn, son of Arathorn, clearly had a mother, but when his father died he was shipped off to live with the elves. We neither know, nor are expected to care about what his mother thought on the subject. Then, of course, he falls for the elven maiden Arwen, whose mother, we’re told (as an aside) had the good sense to disappear from the scene by sailing beyond the sea before the plot of LOTR begins. Frodo Baggins’ mother helpfully died before he was born and Bilbo Baggins has the rare privilege of having a named mother, Belladonna Took, who, however, is quite dead by the time The Hobbit begins, and is referenced only as a link between Bilbo and the adventurous Took clan. She was a Took and she birthed him. Thus her role ended.

The halls of speculative fiction are carpeted with the corpses of the mothers who died of  broken hearts and colds in order to not complicate their progeny’s journey. In fantasy TV and Film the trend, quite naturally, continued. In the original Star Wars trilogy, Princess Leia and Luke’s mother, Padme Amidala lived a full life of adventure but then died of a broken heart shortly after her children were born, as of course she should have done. Can you imagine, had she survived, the plot-spoiling link to their past she would have become? In Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Joyce Summer’s death, whilst arguably the critical highpoint of the series, was seen as necessary.  She had to die, or else Buffy might have never become who she was always meant to be. As a mother she was an obstacle, one the scriptwriters helpfully removed.

Occasionally, the death of the character’s mother brings about the advent of the perennial archetype of the evil step-mother. A twisted parody of what a mother should be, just as the dead mother was convenient to the character’s journey, the insertion of the stepmother exists solely to scupper all of the character’s efforts. The examples of the conniving stepmother trope abound in traditional folktales (like in Cinderella, or its Slavic equivalent, Vasilisa, where the young protagonist is sent off by her stepmother to ask a favour of the infamous witch, Baba Yaga), mythologies (think the ultimate evil stepmother, Hera, who habitually persecuted the innocent results of her husband Zeus’ many indiscretions), and, not surprisingly, in fantasy genre as well. 

In A Song of Ice and Fire by George RR Martin (which actually does portray an unusual range of mothers with agency), Catelyn Stark, an otherwise fiercely loyal mother, is a cold and distant stepmother to Jon Snow. In the first novel in Katherine Arden’s fantastic Winternight trilogy,  the main protagonist grows up in the shadow of her vapid, fearful and cruel stepmother. Part of the reason, I’d argue, why older women are so often portrayed as annoying and conniving, is because, as far as the traditional narratives are concerned, the whole of their role and purpose is fulfilled the moment their physical (youthful) attractiveness wanes. Those without the wisdom to exit the stage by dying become at worst a cumbersome plot bunny and at best an obstacle.

The issue of a lack of older women in fantasy is such an expansive subject that it demands the respect of a separate thought piece, really. And, as regards the stepmothers, I’m not saying, of course, that they should always be portrayed as kind and loving. But precisely because their archetype is rooted so strongly in our collective consciousness, it’s particularly important to acknowledge their humanity. And as far as the humanity of the older female (in the traditional fantasy fiction this seems to describe any woman over twenty) character goes, the good news is the tide is turning.

Part of the reason for that is that more women than ever are given the platform to write their stories. Perhaps somewhere along the way the publishing industry as a whole realised that as women account for the majority of fiction readers (according to one cross-Atlantic research they make up to 80% of fiction market), then perhaps portraying women as actual people, whose agency doesn’t evaporate once they get pregnant, might simply be good marketing.

In the recent years I’ve been ecstatic to see nuance brought into the motherhood trope within the genre. Where the mother of the character is dead, she is so for a damn good reason, with the echoes of her absence reverberating through the story in the most compelling ways, like in Tracy Deonn’s Legendborn. Mothers fight beside their children, and grandchildren (Like the pink-haired protagonist of The Phlebotomist by Chris Panatier), and battle hardship and heartache, like in Madeline Miller’s Circe.

As a mother it was important to me to focus on the humanity of motherhood in my debut, The Second Bell. The mothers I wrote are not perfect, and they are not always right. And even when they are, they might not know it for certain. And that is the point. Mothers deserve their place in fiction not because they’re perfect, but because they are human. Their decisions are just as complex as their younger counterparts and are complicated further by their new and life-changing bond with their child.

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

Writing mothers is writing humans. No more, no less. They matter and they are worthy of notice.

Second Bell will be released on Tuesday, March 9th. You can find out more about Gabriela Houston here.

The post Where Are All of the Mothers in Fantasy Fiction? appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/30r63n4

[spotlightauthors]

Jess Cippian

Jess Cippian, author of the medieval fantasy series Song of Glædlond, was born and home based in West Virginia. She traveled often to Mexico as a child of eclectic gypsy-type parents. As a result Jess developed a passion for all things Old World and ethnic.

You can find Jess deep into her notebooks in the wee hours of most mornings. She spends the rest of the day with her family in their homeschool, in the garden or pouring up herbal concoctions in the kitchen. She loves to end the day sitting by the fire in her favorite reading chair.

Author Name: Jess Cippian

How long have you been writing? I've been writing on walls and notebooks ever since I learned to read. When I was six, I wrote my first book: a romance between a grasshopper and a cow. I've always kept some type of journal/writing pages, mostly as writing therapy. It's how I sort out life problems as writing helps me put things in perspective. Needless to say, I have filled quite a few notebooks. I had a homesteading/family blog for a while and loved it. I also wrote a few articles for a homesteader's magazine.

Did you ever imagine that you would be published one day? I always wanted to be an author and illustrate my books but with a large family, I just couldn't see how that could happen. Then when I discovered regular people do write and publish, I gave myself permission to give it a try.

What made you want to become an author? I have always been a writer and just thought of being an author as a daydream. To be an author meant I had to have my book in print.

How long have you been published? I fulfilled that publishing dream in November 2020.

How does it feel to be published? It is a surreal feeling to hold my book in my hand, and to be honest, very overwhelming.

Are you self-published or did you go through a publishing company? *Why? Probably because I self-published and the selling of my books is in my lap. It's all mine, and that is why I self-published, I wanted total control of my book. But there's a price to owning your content: it's up to you to distribute it! I am happy with my choice.

The other reason to self-publish is that I knew it could take two years, at best, to go the traditional route and I wanted my book in my hands before that.

How many books have you written? I have written two books, and am working on book 3 at the moment of my series the Song of Glædlond, a medieval, noblebright fantasy.

What is/are the name of your book(s)? Bloom of Beorg: A Song of Glædlond 1 and Arrow of Ebbadane: Song of Glædlond ll

What genre is it/are they in? Fantasy

What do you feel will inspire others to never forget when they read your story(ies)? I want my books to touch the heart in a meaningful way—the way old literature provoked the mind, not just for entertainment, but still a pleasurable read. Even though my current writing is fantasy I write about real things, sowing and reaping and other simple human principles; hence the term “noblebright” in my book description.

What's the hardest part about writing a book? The hardest factor in writing for me is the balance in conveying emotion. In my effort to keep my characters relatable they sometimes become too whiny or over stoic. This is where beta readers give awesome help!

What's the easiest part about writing a book? The part of writing easiest for me is world building. I am writing a story because I want to be there, and when I am there I want to have a five sense experience!

Where can interested readers purchase their copy of your book(s)? I am currently published on Amazon; I also have sales and offer signed copies on my website.

Do you have any future projects in the works? *Is there a tentative release date? The rest of my series—three more books—will be out by the end of 2022. I have many other ideas across the genres that I want to write after this fantasy series.

Do you have any social media sites that you would like to share with my readers? You can find me mostly on Instagram. I also have an author page on Facebook and I host a Facebook group as well.