#can you guess what i'm listening to today?

[mysteryshoptls]

SSR Floyd Leech - Room Relaxation Voice Lines

Don't know how I'll feel the day of, but... Right now, I'm super lookin' forward to my birthday tomorrow!

Summon: You're givin' me a present this early in the morning? Nice, that's usin' your noggin. Now, let me just take a peek inside...

Groovification: Nothin' like gettin' a pair of shoes into tip-top shape. Somehow they end up feelin' like they fit better, too.

Home: What should I do today～?

Swap Looks: Ahah, that's some crazy bedhead!

Home Transition 1: I wonder how old these snacks are. Sometimes I end up not interested in 'em after buyin' 'em, so they pile up before I realize.

Home Transition 2: Seabream-kun said he'd take some rad pics of me for my birthday. Wonder how they'll turn out?

Home Transition 3: My pops said to tell him one thing I want for my birthday. He said it could be anything I want, but there's no way I can pick something out ahead of time.

Home Transition - Login: What do I do on my birthdays? Sometimes I'll throw a huge party with a buncha people, sometimes I'll just spend it alone in my room... Guess it depends on my mood at the time.

Home Transition - Groovy: I'm gettin' a present from that Sea Slug-senpai, y'know... There's no way it'll not be a hoot!

Home Tap 1: When I'm in my room, at least, I wanna wear more comfy clothes～ But even then, I'd rather be stark naked than wear anything lame, though.

Home Tap 2: I asked Sea Lion-senpai for a present, and he just said to take some sand from Savanaclaw and leave. No thanks～

Home Tap 3: It's not the end of the world to listen to Jade rabble on and on about the mountains sometimes. Like, whenever I'm wide awake, it helps put me to sleep like that.

Home Tap 4: Jellyfish-chan was tellin' me about some birthday tradition they got in Briar Valley. Kinda cool hearin' about something that's completely different than what we do back home.

Home Tap 5: What's up, Shrimpy-chan, you got a gift for me? Eh, I already got it? Mmmmmmmm......... Nope, I don't remember at all.

Home Tap - Groovy: If I just put everything in it's proper place, my room'll be easier to keep clean? Ehhhhh, but that ain't fun at all.

Duo: [FLOYD]: Sea Slug-senpai, you givin' me a gift? [MALLEUS]: If that is what you desire, Leech.

Birthday Login Message: Eh, you brought me a birthday gift? Shrimpy-chan, you're the best! Wish others'd take a page outta your book～ Those guys in the Basketball Club are the worst. I was just checkin' with them, making sure they didn't forget my birthday, and you know what Sea Snake-kun said? He said that there's no way he'd forget a day that'd end up being more trouble than it's worth for him if he did. That sent Crab-chan into a fit of laughs, too. Oh yeahhh, come to think of it, I still haven't gotten my gifts from 'em yet. Think I'll start if off by heading off to Crab-chan's place first.

Requested by @thelonepearl and @sakurakudo.

[jazeswhbhaven]

Henlo, Merry Christmas my lovelies!

I hope everyone is having fun, got what they wanted, enjoying time with their families (or if you're alone or with your furbabies what have you, that you're doing well too! <3)

I'm still working on inbox requests! But please accept this mini headcanon christmas post from me <3

Astra's First Christmas in Hell!

Astra: This is insane....I cannot believe that happened.... (walks into her room with several gifts in hand but sweat running down her face)

*loud knocking and pounding on the other side of the door*

Satan: Astra, open up! I'm not done with my gift yet...!

Mammon: There's so much more where that came from, my love, my treasure. Those small gifts won't suit you.

Satan: Will you shut the fuck up? It's MY turn you had her all day yesterday...

Mammon: Oh? If I'm remembering correctly we both had her yesterday.

Astra: (slides down her door) Listen, I love you both. Please give me a minute. I'm so overwhelmed.

*Astra's phone buzzes suddenly*

[Beelzebub: Hehe, did you get my gift Astra? Make sure you eat all of it properly for the full effect. Meet me at the club later <3]

[Bael: Don't eat that. P l e a s e]

[Belphegor: Aye, Astra! Merry Christmas from me his Maj, Belphie. He's dozin' off per usual. I ain't had time to wrap your gift so come by soon to pick it up. We'll be waitin'.]

[Agares: Don't bother showin' up darlin' I'm coming to you to bring over my gift.]

Astra: How do they know who's texting at the same time???

*phone buzzes more*

[Lucifer: Merry Christmas. Make sure to use the throat spray Buer made. It will help with the soreness.]

[Leviathan: I guess I should formally send you a Merry Christmas text. Even though you should be here in Hades so I can you to your face. I'd like to see it when I also tell you your gifts are trash. None of them are from me, which you aren't getting any.]

[Foras: Pst, Miss Astra, His Majesty doesn't want to tell you, but he has a gift here for you. Visit Hades soon please :)]

Astra: (sighs) Well, today would be a busy one huh? I wonder if I can visit everyone today...

Mammon: (still on the other side of the door with Satan) Do you need a ride? I can take you~

Satan: My motorcycle is faster. We can ride in style. You can't come Mammon you won't fit.

Mammon: Of course. Your tiny bike is way too small. I'm surprised you have room for Astra. Her ass alone is-

Astra: OKAY I GET THE POINT. We'll go later....

*phone buzzes again*

[Asmodeus: Hi dear <3 Look up from your phone for me?]

Astra: Huh? (looks up to see Asmodeus naked in her room except there's a present box over his crotch)

Asmodeus: Come see what I got you~ (winks as the box twitches)

Astra: I would ask how you got in here, but I already know the answer. I think uh...I'll open my gift another time.

Asmodeus: Awh, really? I spent a lot of time making sure it's to your liking...I heard you like..."double" the amount of fun.

Astra: Asmo...did you?

Asmodeus: Yes <3

*the door is suddenly splintering and cracking from Satan ripping at it*

Satan: FUCK OFF ASMODEUS GO AWAY.

Astra: ......I at least hope Minhyeok is doing okay and that Ppyong delivered my gift....

Meanwhile on Earth

Ppyong: Minhyeok!!! Bestie!!!! Merry Christmas, aye! I come with good news from Miss Astra.

Minhyeok: ??? Is she coming home!?

Ppyong: No....but she sent gifts, aye! Here!~ (pulls out a small bag from his belly pouch that suddenly grows larger once it hits the floor)

Minheyok: Oh...(pulls out a locket that has a photo of him and Astra)

Ppyong: Isn't it cute, aye? Miss Astra had the necklace custom made in Tartaros! Real gold, aye! I'm super jealous.

Minhyeok: Astra...I wish she was here so I could thank her properly, I- (he suddenly sees another gift, a book and a pair of panties inside a sealed bag) Eh? What is this?

Ppyong: (grins) Me and some of the nobles made this for you, aye! Take a look...

*Minhyeok picks up the book to realize it's a collection of lewd photos of Astra professionally took by Phenomenon*

Minhyeok: !!!! Ppyong...this...this is indecent....does she know you did this? And what are....these panties?

Ppyong: Those are special panties, aye! Miss Astra had those on during her Christmas Cold, so she came alot while wearing them, aye! I save them for you as her scent was the strongest during that time.

Minhyeok: (blushes heavily while confused by the term "Christmas Cold" and the fact she "came" in them repeatedly) I, uh....

Ppyong: You'll be happy to know she called out your name during, aye! (flies around happily oblivious the fact that Minhyeok is close to passing out being overwhelmed with information)

Merry Christmas, ya'll <3 Lol Astra has her hands full apparently with everyone hitting her up and Asmo being himself as usual. Plus is sounds like Minhyeok got some pretty awesome gifts 👀💀

[francisofthespook]

Merry (late depending on your timezone) Christmas y'all ! Heres a little oneshot Christmas gift from me <3

DIY Santa

Summary: Judith drags you along with her to meet Santa, but surprises you when she demands that you also tell Santa what you want for Christmas.

Daryl Dixon x F!Reader

Wordcount: 1,002

Warnings: Some very very slight suggestive dialogue

Authors Note: Thank you all so much for all the love on the works I've posted so far, I really can't explain how much that means to me <33 I have a longer Christmas oneshot I'm working on, but I didn't finish in time like I thought I would :( So I threw together this little oneshot so that I could post something today. Hope u enjoy it, and that all of you had a great day ! <333

(border made by me :) )

You really didn’t understand how Carol had convinced him to do it, but you weren’t complaining. Judith dragged you up the stairs to the small gazebo that sat in the middle of Alexandria and all you could do was bite your lip to keep yourself from laughing. The little girl let go of her grasp on your hand and ran up to Daryl. He was dressed in a ragedy white sweater, red sweatpants, and a red beanie with a cottonball beard attached to it. Carol must have called in a seriously big favor. 

Daryl picked up Judith and plopped her in his lap. The two of you had been waiting in the little line for longer than you would have liked to spend in the cold while listening to all the other children of Alexandria plead with ‘Santa’ about why they really needed a new bike, a barbie doll, or a pony for Christmas. Daryl looked less than pleased, but he surprisingly played along. However, when you and Jude ascended the steps to the dingy setup, Daryl’s expression showed a flicker of change. He bounced Jude on his lap while asking her what she wanted for Christmas. “Mmm, I want a jump rope and rollerskates!” Okay, easy enough… you were beginning to silently thank Carol, as you had been stumped on what to get your little niece. “Ah! Well, I think Santa can work somethin’ out…” Daryl looked to you and gave you a wink. You lowered your head as you chuckled in attempt to hide the heat that was creeping up your cheeks.

“Your turn aunt (Y/N)!!” Judith hopped off Daryl’s lap to grab your arm and drag you towards him. You were shocked at her demand and tried to quickly stutter out an excuse. “Oh honey, I think I’m a little to old for Santa to get me a gift.” You tried to laugh it off while avoiding making eye contact with ‘Santa’. “Nonsense!” Daryl laughed, “Yer never too old for Santa.” He opened his arms gesturing for you to take a seat. There was no hiding the blush now. 

In attempt to shut everyone up before further argument, you reluctantly turned and sat yourself on Daryl’s knee, angling your body slightly towards him. You didn’t know where to put your hands, so you ended up awkwardly resting them on your thighs. Daryl carefully wrapped one arm around the small of your back, his hand slightly gripping your hip while the other gently rested on your knee. His warm touch felt jarring against the chill breeze that was nipping at you. When the two of you met eyes, it suddenly felt like you were underwater. Everything and everyone else around you was drowned out, the soft glow of the warm lights that had been strung around the gazebo backlit his face in a halo. “And what do you want for Christmas Aunt (Y/N)?” He spoke to you in a low whisper. You were frozen in the icy blue of his eyes, unable to speak or move. 

When you didn’t respond, he prompted you with another question, “Well, I guess it depends if you’ve been nice or naughty this year…” Your stillness broke as you bit your lip and finally gave into the blush that nearly covered your whole body at this point. “She’s been nice this year!” Judith interjected from the sidelines. You had forgotten that she was there and quickly turned around to smile at her before returning to Daryl. He leaned in close to your ear and said in a low whisper, “Now tha’s a damn shame”. He pulled back and gave you a smirk. You finally were able to break your silence with a small laugh.

You and Daryl had been playing a dangerous game over the past few years. Always toeing the line, but never crossing it. You told yourself that nothing ever happened because you never had the time or stability to explore your desires, but part of you was just scared that he didn’t really feel the same despite the constant flirting. But something about the way the sun was setting over the walls, the flicker of lights in the gazebo, and the way he was confidently eying you made you take a chance and stick just a toe over the line. This time, you were the one to lean into him and whispered in a quiet sultry voice, “I may have been a good girl this year, but I definitely thought about doing some very naughty things…” before pulling back and giving him a smirk now. 

Your comment had caught poor Daryl so off guard that his mouth hung slightly agape with his eyebrows rising. You paused for a second, shooting him a knowing look. “But maybe since I’ve been so good, I’ll get what I really want this year.” You said in a sly tone and looked up at him through your lashes for a beat. Then, as nonchalantly as possible, you stood up and turned to Judith with a big smile and an outstreatched hand which she gladly grabbed. The two of you sauntered off down the steps, and you made sure your hips swayed in the most seductive way possible. Once the both of you had cleared the gazebo and started walking down the street, you turned back and gave Daryl a smug smile and a wink before turning onto Rick and Michonne’s street. 

Daryl sat back in his chair stunned and glanced at Carol who had been keeping the kids in line occupied. She looked back at him and gave him a small smile while shrugging before turning her attention to the next kid in line and sending him up the stairs. Daryl tried his hardest not to think about the way you looked at him for the rest of his Santa shift. But every time the thought of you sitting on his lap creeped it’s way into his head, his heart rate sped up just a bit.

Again, love you all and hope you had a good day <3 Sending all of y'all lots of love <33333

((((Should I do a part 2 ????))))

[kashlyn]

Lines from the Ithaca saga that I kept replaying over and over again in my first listen cuz they gave me chills and changed my brain chemistry:

The Challenge

"Whoever can string my husband's old bow

And shoot through twelve axes cleanly

Will be the new king, sit down at the throne

And rule with me as his queen

I've heard these lines even before the saga was officially released (cuz I ain't new and been waiting for this so SOOO long) and it felt so weird without Ody's little laugh in the background! Like, unlike the first drafts, PENELOPE REALLY DOESN'T KNOW HE'S THERE! NOT EVEN A LITTLE HINT! HAD TO TRIPLE CHECK!!

Let the arrow fly

Once you know that your aim is true

Cause I'd rather die than grow old without the best of you

No words, just tears and heart full of feelings... Repeated this at least 2 times

Hold them down

And then we'll

Hold her down while her gate is open

Hold her down while I get a taste

Hold her down while I share her spoils

I will not let any part go to waste

I kid you not, I had to pause, play that again, pause and repeat five times because I was seething with rage. Like, I knew what it implies and I just had to make sure like my brain won't let me register it

Odysseus

Somewhere in the shadows lurks an agile, deadly foe...

We have the advantage. We've the numbers and the might. No... You don't understand it; this man plans for every fight!

Did a repeat three times cuz SLAY, Ody! That's our captain!

You don't think I know my own palace? I BUILT IT!

I SCREAMED! DAD GOT MAD AND SIS LOOKED AT ME WEIRDLY BUT DANGGGGGGGGG! I watched the movie/miniseries and he said this there too but chills. Literal chills. Repeated... Idk how many times 🤣 too many to count!

You plotted to kill my son...

You planned to RAPE MY WIFE!

Had to repeat this over and over again cuz the chills and literal tears that went down my eyes when listening to his anger! Especially when he said rape so so much anger in his voice! Like... Something inside me healed. Especially since he ACTUALLY said it instead of just implying it! Like... Couldn't stop listening to this on repeat with tears going down my eyes. My standards have been raised.

I can't help but wonder

Father?

First line and I was already on my knees. Had to repeat this multiple times tho cuz I still wasn't processing the last song completely. I was practically dissociating... But when it finally registered, my heart!

Son...

THE LONG PAUSE AND THEN THIS?! HOW CAN TWO SINGLE WORDS MELT ME SO MUCH!! REPLAY!! HEART IS SHATTERED?? THEN FIXED??? IDK

For twenty years I never could outgrow you Oh, and now you're here

The eldest child in me broke... Had to re-listen to that again

I can't help but wonder What your world must be If we're like each other If I have your strength in me

Nvm. This shattered me. I knew my parents growing up and this SHATTERED ME. Didn't repeat it but I had to have a long pause.

Twenty years we've wandered But today you're not alone My son, I'm finally home!

Had to keep repeating this out of sheer joy! Like YES!

You might live forever So you can make it be But I've got one endeavor There's a girl I have to see

Had to listen to this again cuz it hurt yet feels so right... Like... Ody is getting old. It's bad enough that Tele grew up without him and he made Penelope wait for so long... He won't live forever. And even if he could (ex. With Calypso) he wouldn't want to. Because it would be a world without Penelope. He HAS to see her.

Would You Fall in Love with Me Again

Hurt more lives than I can count on my hands But all of that was to bring me back to you

YES! ONLY REPEATED ONCE! EVERY TIME I LISTEN TO THE SONG! NWYSNS

See that wedding bed? Could you carry it over? Lift it high on your shoulders And take it far away from here?

Had to repeat this twice out of disbelief... Like, did she actually ask that of him?! What?!

Only my husband knew that So I guess that makes him you!

Repeat this over and over again! (3rd repeat and above, I screamed along with Penelope) Like husband like wife! These two 🛐 all hail the king and queen

[slowed down "Just a man" instrumental plays]

COULDN'T NOT REPEAT THIS! It's like a reminder, that no matter how much Ody sees the changes in himself, Penelope still sees her husband. He changed but he's still Ody. As he said he would, he HAS traded the world to see his son and wife. He's just a man. To quote Undertale, "Despite everything, it's still you."

I cried so much guys 😭😭 the musical ended the same way the movie did! With Penelope and Ody in each other's arms!

[frankenstein-ate-my-left-shoe]

gareth, in the corroded coffin group chat: here's a list of things that eddie likes to suck: dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, balls.

gareth: [link to youtube video]

frank the freak: Ha Ha! reacted to gareth's message

eddie: i hate you so much

jeff: did

jeff: did you count out how many 'dicks' to type?

gareth:

gareth:

[inkskinned]

you have to go to work so you can pay for your doctor, who is not taking your insurance right now, and if you say i can't afford the doctor's you are told - get a better job. it is very sad that you are unwell, yes, but maybe you should have thought about that before not having a better job.

(where is the better job? who is giving out these better jobs? you are sick, you are hurting - how the hell are you supposed to be well enough for this better job?)

but you go to the doctor because you had the nerve to be hurt or sick or whatever else. and they tell you that it is because you have anxiety. you try your best. you are a self-advocate. you've done the reading (which sometimes pisses them off worse, honestly). you say it is actually adding to my anxiety, it is effecting my quality of life. so they say that you are fat. they say that all young people have this happen to them, isn't it a medical marvel! they say that you should eat more vegetables. they say that you probably just need to lose a little more weight, and that you are faking it for attention.

(what attention could this doctor possibly give? what validation? that's their fucking job, isn't it?)

there is always a hypochondriac, right. someone always tells you about a hypochondriac. or someone who is unnecessarily aggressive during the worst days of their life. or someone looking "for a quick fix". or some idiot who wasn't educated about how to properly care for themselves who just abandons their treatment. and again, the hypochondriac, the overly-cautious hysteric. these people don't deserve to be treated like humans (right), and since you might be one of these people, you also don't get treated like a human. because those people can really fuck with the system, you now have to pay for it. and besides. you're actually probably faking it.

(more often than not, you find a 2:1 ratio of these stories. for every "hypochondriac", there are 2 people who knew something was wrong, and yet nobody could fucking find it. the story often ends with pointless suffering. the story often ends with and now it's too late, and it's going to kill me.)

you are actually just making excuses. someone else got that procedure or that diagnosis and he's fine, you should be fine too. someone else said they watched a documentary about other inspirational people with your exact same condition, maybe you should be inspirational, too. you're just too morbid. your pain and your experience is probably just not statistically concerning. it is all self-reported anyway, and you're just being a baby.

(once, while sitting down in the middle of making coffee, you had the sudden, horrible thought - i could kill myself to make the pain stop. you had to call your best friend after that. had to pet your dog. had to cry about it in the shower. you won't, but that moment - god, fuck. the pain just goes on and on.)

you know someone who went in for routine surgery and said i still feel everything. they told her to just relax. it took her kicking and screaming before they figured out she wasn't lying - the anesthetic drip hadn't been working. you know someone who went in for severe migraines who was told drink water and lose weight. you know someone who was actively bleeding out and throwing up in the ER and was told you're just having a bad period.

in the ER there are always these little posters saying things like "don't wait! get checked today!" and you think about how often you do wait. how often the days spool out. you once waited a full week before seeing the doctor for what you thought was a sprained wrist. it had actually been broken - they had to rebreak it to set it.

but you go into the doctor. the problem you're having is immediate. the person behind the counter frowns and says we're not taking your insurance. you will be paying for this out-of-pocket.

they send you home with tylenol and a little health packet about weight loss or anxiety or attention deficit. on the front it has your birthday and diagnosis. you think about crying, and the words swim. it might as well say go fuck yourself. it might as well say you're a fucking idiot. it might as well say light your money on fire and lie down in it. and the entire fucking time - the problem persists.

it's okay. it's okay, it's just another thing, you think. it's just another thing i have to learn to live with.

[disdaidal]

I wanna thank my irl friends who follow me here and also my beloved mutuals as well as followers who still send me kind messages and try to interact with me and my stuff even if I'm bad at doing it myself.

Honestly, things haven't been that great with me lately, so... it means a lot to me. Honestly. <3

[pardonmydelays]

clancy

[autistickaitovocaloid]

So the thing is like. It's not that hard to imagine a character you've noticed similar traits in to be both autistic and asexual you can do that it's fine and cool. What you really shouldn't be doing is looking at a character you see these traits in and saying, with your whole damn chest, "oh they don't know what sex is".

[jlf23tumble]

Speaking of retcons. What fans does Liam have to manipulate? Liam has always been the least popular member of 1D and what fans he did have disappeared when his 2018 album got yanked. You can tell that because his most popular music required GP interest. Plus he can’t sustain a UA and there’s no one defending him on Twitter. Every thing goes viral because there aren’t enough accounts to muddy the algorithms with other tweets. It’s the least believable thing Maya has said. That and her descriptions of his team as powerful. A powerful and manipulative team looks like Harry’s. They’ve been sweeping his indiscretions into a very dark corner for years. One day they’ll come spilling out and he’ll have his Diddy moment. His team will have made their money so they won’t care.

[icewindandboringhorror]

[maevemills]

If I predicted tears then I wouldn't have said it I wouldn't have said it if I would have known

[quatregats]

Honestly don't think I realized that Valencian music was this much of an actual genuine special interest until I got here and had to start explaining myself to people

[ann-chovi]

In retrospect, pep-up plant tea was.... maybe a bad idea.

[keeps-ache]

ggghhg i hate vehiclessssssss ghghghhghhhhh [dies dies dies forever]

[warning-heckboop]

More Broadway songs applied to Trolls ideas

Next up: Take It Like A Man from Legally Blonde with either Poppy and Branch or Viva and Clay