#can you blame him it’s Kate Winslet

[yummilingus]

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

[little-whats-her-name]

Giving my thoughts while watching The Dressmaker for the first time, so there will be spoilers

FYI the first piece of media I watched with Kate Winslet in it was not, like most, Titanic (I still haven't watched Titanic) but HBO's The Regime, thus I'm still wrapping my head around seeing Kate play a role that isn't Chancellor Elena Vernham

I don't know what's weirder, hearing Kate Winslet speak with an Aussie accent or watching her smoke. But Lenny, the lung cancer!

Kate even says "hm" like an Aussie, but you can tell who the real ones are

Liam looks identical to Chris

Wouldn't be an Australian film without Shane Jacobson. I swear it must be in the contract for whenever a screenwriter wants to set a film in Australia - must have Shane Jacobson playing a dad or, at the very least, a father-figure. I met him after Rocky Horror in 2018 (he was the narrator). He was very kind, stopped someone from cutting in front of me for autographs

Say what you want about the cop-type guy, he matched his hat and skirt to his uniform top and tie very well

Nearly bit right through my finger in the footy scene, meanwhile my dad could not have cared less about Myrtle's appearance and was pretty much watching the same scene like "mmm footy". No other thoughts in his head at all. So I'm questioning my own thought process

Thought she was nude but the black dress and the decolletage is nice

I don't get how changing her dress made the opposite team get distracted but alright

Pot brownies!

I've seen the Liam Hemsworth stripping scene in every single trailer. I pointed this out to my dad, who replied, "Gotta give people something to look forward to." 🤣

The actor that plays Gertrude's mum would make a great Emily Weiss

Love that Teddy finds out that Myrtle's technically responsible for a boy's death and responds by making out with her

Cracked up laughing at Chancellor Elena Vernham's face and voice saying, "It's Superman!"

"I AM NO LONGER CURSED!"

Oh no, we've got Kate Winslet on a boat, is this intertextual referencing?

She's gonna get Titanic flashbacks, they're on a boat and Teddy's gone

My dad was making dinner and missed this part, so I had to fill him in:

Me (distraught): You were right about the wheat thing!

My dad: What?

Me: Liam's character just suffocated in the wheat!

My dad (having no empathy for Myrtle whatsoever): So, she is cursed.

Like no, dad, don't say that in front of the fragile Kate Winslet character, she's already blaming herself, she doesn't need your confirmation

Kate's got one panicked sobbing voice but it's a good one

Ay there's those hymn number things that were in Reefer Madness (2005), but unlike in Reefer Madness, none of the hymn numbers are 420

Ooh I reckon that extra's in Hairspray (2007). Like the casting directors just call her up whenever they need a background character for a film set in the 1950s-1960s

"10 shillings." "12 shillings." Makes me think of "5 galleons." "I'm your brother!" "Ten galleons."

"At least you've got Una." Extra in front right's reaction is hilarious and perfect. Should've got a raise for that.

Makeup guys did a good job, very realistic exhausted, red-eyes-from-crying look

Kate makes "Thank you, Trudy." sound like "Go fuck yourself, Trudy."

The pot brownies are back!

Had to die right in the middle of the town for the perfect shot

Myrtle being sad and drunk is such a mood, so's her outfit

HAHA I have to gif that scene for Mae

The way she reads the letter 😂 "Winyerp... drama club..."

And I have to gif THIS scene for Mae

"Marigold, this is very wrong!" "Yes... But I'm unstable."

The contrast between the pastel tiles and his dark blood is so pretty

Shane looks so good in Rocco makeup, with his beard and everything

Ah there's the clip that's in the trailer, editors did a good job spoiling the twist ending

"Where are you going, miss?" Home? "Paris." (disappointed voice) Aw

"You never met the rubbish." is a great final line

[littleplantfreak]

todays chap

draw me like one of your french girls kate winslet lookin ass im gonna kill you

not really but ne ways

tsubaki was sooooo cute and so was the little suzuri awww

but back to endo…i guess you really can save someone through sheer determination and babygirl eyes

i dont blame him in the slightest id take one look at him and forfeit my mortal possessions

[anthonybialy]

Football with Josh Allen and the Others 

I know of a team that can win because they have Josh Allen and hasn’t won despite having Josh Allen.  The inability of the Buffalo Bills to reach that championship game is unfairly yet inevitably linked to the last person in the universe who’s responsible.  Noting Allen hasn’t advanced is like blame Kate Winslet for the Titanic sinking.  Unlike several Bills, she wasn’t a real passenger.

Allen did enough in the same sense fans picnicking in the parking lot have sipped some ale.  Not everyone who’s technically on the same team can make that claim.  We’ve had ample time to mentally scowl at wide receivers who dropped quite catchable passes, defenders who didn’t tackle despite it being kind of key to the job description, and a kicker who better be spending the offseason re-learning how to aim.  I can say things the quarterback can’t.

Bills finally caught up with this whole passing trend.  Like rock and roll, it’s here to stay.  The quarterback’s prominence is unavoidable no matter one’s opinion on the percentage the position consumes.  Vince Lombardi lamenting that this one player category’s significance is a factual matter even if some wish there were a way to alter the imbalance.  The weighted importance is good news if you have Josh Allen.

There’s no use in condemning how the game is played by sides of 10 plus one.  Be glad if you’ve got a player who skews results even further.  Teddy Pendergrass deserved to be billed as the leader even though he played for the Blue Notes.  All teams can do is make use of the way the game is designed.  The Bills have only done so for a fraction of the team’s existence.  It sure was considerate of them to increase the joyousness of the present by deploying quarterbacks who struggled to hold a football for so long.  You’re supposed to grip the laces?

The Allen era makes up for all those seasons where other fans had to check who the Bills acquired to vainly attempt filling the post.  Taking snaps only technically makes one a quarterback.  Some previous vacancy-fillers should produce films about their stories because of their improbability.

You may have heard Allen is skilled enough at a particular game that he makes a comfortable living playing it.  Please keep watching if you want your hero to keep profiting off his most notable talent.  The selfless obligation helps pay his bills.  If you’re unacquainted with his uncommon talents, many social media platforms feature video clips that only look doctored.

A singular threat features multiple aspects.  Take away his targets and he’ll deem himself the carrier.  Prioritizing whatever option is best at that moment is a judgment call made by prudent captains.  Jean-Luc Picard will do so out of habit in a few hundred years.

Allen is already the best Bills quarterback ever, and it’s not particularly close.  Accounting for phases changes nothing.  Playing in a pass-happy time just means the numbers are even more in his favor.  As with every other evaluation of his impact, the best case is watching him play.

I have just been alerted about this squad’s lack of Super Bowl appearances, much less the high score in at least one of them.  The inability to will winning all singlehandedly finally brings us to the position’s limitations.  If it were possible, Josh would’ve done it.

There’s no way to speak too highly about everyone’s best friend.  The only person with more is Andrew W.K.  Routinely referring to him by his first name is a common habit amongst his BFF crew.  The familiarity reflects the politely introverted personality of the classmate who never gave a memorable answer.

The incumbent is the biggest difference between the Bills and Sabres.  The side wearing skates trails in a distant second.  The football division would be lagging if they drafted the other Josh.  Today’s sports scene may seem challenging, but imagine being jealous of the all-time playoff outcasts.

Frustration serves as the other notable parallel with the ice-based team.  Every hockey legend who never won it all while with Buffalo knows how he’s feeling.  That’s not even to mention Bob McAdoo.  Allen’s unique take in revolutionizing the game brings to mind Dominik Hasek’s uncommonly awesome career without the weird and aggravating playoff lapses.

It’s not to alarm everyone, but this often seemingly cursed club will never get a chance like this again.  You know what?  Go ahead and be alarmed.  Going to red alert may create useful pressure needed to halt squandering.  It sure doesn’t feel as if this franchise is dedicated to fulfilling the dreams of Buffalonians and what’s now several generations of their ancestors.  Terry Pegula’s indifference is palpable unless he’s bilking taxpayers.  

Everyone seeks a partner who gets them.  Ken Dorsey got dumped because he didn’t grasp his other half’s dark sense of humor or learn how he likes his coffee.  Replacing the immediate coaching supervisor might not reconcile enough.  Fans remain worried that Sean McDermott still doesn’t really get his guy.  His decisions feel like watching a Wes Anderson movie with your parents and trying to explain the quirkiness.  The French Dispatch is not as accessible as Wheel of Fortune.

Why feel urgency now just because Allen had yet another birthday last month?  Drafting wide receivers in the first, second, and third rounds should’ve been the first, second, and third priorities.  They dissented by instead opting for nothing with the initial chance.

An unbearably obvious need somehow hasn’t been prioritized.  Adding Dalton Kincaid was a nice start of a process that must continue at this draft.  Tight end has become a slightly bigger receiver.  The Bills are still forgetting focus on traditional deep threats.

There’s been a step up in getting crushed.  We experience the difference between annual disappointment at missing the tournament and annual disappointment at falling short during it.  Going .500 in the playoffs means making it five times, which is a monumental shift for a franchise that’s up to 23 of them.

It’s not that the organization has failed to win it all but rather that they’re perpetual contenders because of him.  Allen meets the true definition of the most valuable player.  Improvising while making rational choices is football at its best if everyone connected the Bills would like to not waste the best hope they’ll ever have.

[bradenthompson]

Insurgent (2015) notes

Give Divergent (2014) this: I did immediately put on the sequel.

>iirc, I bought a ticket to this movie opening weekend, for the purposes of sneaking into a screening of Kingsman: the Secret Service. So I'm partly implicit in this movie being #1 at that weekend's box office.

>by 2015, Lionsgate had acquired Summit Entertainment, further consolidating their power in the bloody history of YA Movie Feudalism. This is important because at the top of Insurgent is a splash logo for Summit subsidiary International Distribution Company LLC, touters of maybe the worst splash logo of all time. Looks like a PS2 game, but like, the ones made when the PS3 was already out.

>also producing is one Red Wagon Entertainment, the production name for one Douglas Wick, producer for all three Divergent movies as well as 2005's Jarhead and Memoirs of a Geisha. So if you want someone to blame for these movies never concluding, well, he's a name that's public.

>Winslet says "...by dividing people based on personality and aptitude..." which goes against what I understood Faction Society to be. Citizens self-select their factions, don't they? Or is forced division a new thing since the Great Beatrice Crisis

>It'd be really funny if Kate Winslet is only seen on computer screens for the entirety of this movie. Just rolled up to the bluescreen studio and knocked out her role in one day

>I miss Jai Courtney. Haven't seen him in a movie for a while. Bro wasn't phoning it in, unlike some of this cast

>New director for this one! Robert Schwentke, also responsible for RED, R.I.P.D., the yet to be seen Allegiant, and Snake Eyes: GI Joe Origins (a movie that--get ready for this--I've seen)

>RUNNING👏THROUGH👏FORESTS👏

>lil pissbaby Ansel doesn't get a cool Dauntless jacket lol get fukked bud

>Katniss also started her sequel with the lingering consequences of taking a life, Beatrice. One of you is gonna have to change

>ain't no goddamn way they filmed Divergent 2 with the IMAX cameras

>too many movies feed teenagers the lie of chopping your own hair and having it come out salon-layered and photogenic.

>am I supposed to call him Four or Tobias, because the former is funnier

>"How long do we have to stay here" Bea are you for real

>aw dammit Winslet's in the flesh

>secret box, secret box, secret box, secret box

>gonna start making guesses at what's in the box now and pray they reveal it before the end of this movie a. letter from the founders saying factions are a load of bullshit b. key to door that will be opened in Divergent 3 c. contract buyouts for the whole cast when this series fails to conclude

>"I really don't know how much longer I can do this whole peace and love thing." Truer words wrt Beatrice have never been spoken. She pops more heads in one movie than most YA girls do in a trilogy of books

>Miles Teller is silly now.

>"wait, we're fugitives?" Ansel, what the fuck did you think was happening here?

>"we need to find out what happened to the other Dauntless" presumably stayed in the city, Four, you beautiful cinder block of a man. They certainly didn't run off with you--I would know, I just watched the first movie like two hours ago

>"we need to kill Jeannine" TALK YOUR SHIT BEA

>lmaoo Miles Teller is such a dick, Beatrice is a psycho, this movie's gonna rule ass

>love how Amity has roads but the villain trucks just run over the fences anyway

>the dominant trait of Amity is politeness, which I feel runs counter to what's historically known about the agricultural complex

>hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha (people who have seen Insurgent know what I'm talking about)

>save money on set design with a little bit of the ol' RUNNING👏THROUGH👏FORESTS👏

>do you think Ansel was directed to run like a geek or is that just how he is

>man I hope Veronica Roth eventually got to jump on a moving train irl. Seems like a big fantasy of hers, next to sharing needles (incidentally, injection count's still at zero)

>who could ever dislike Beatrice. She breaks arms. She kicks women out of trains to be crushed under the wheels. She bites hands and doesn't afraid of anything

>Four's mom lives in a haunted house lol

>shut up Ansel (I've said this out loud four times, we're thirty minutes in)

>Divergents fit into every faction, like a faction avatar of sorts, and by that token the factionless don't fit into any faction, ergo they are the worst people. With you so far, movie

>hey what's the absolute weirdest thing a mother can say to her son's girlfriend. Because that's what Four's mom just said

>hey what's the second weirdest thing a mother can say to her son's girlfriend. Because that's what Four's mom just said

>we have just received mention of administering a truth system, bringing our injection counter dubiously up to one

>so every faction can hold their own trials? Is that what Four's talking about? Is the Dauntless trial just Thunderdome?

>injection counter now decisively up to 1

>the Divergent series doesn't have a love triangle and thus doesn't have any teams other than Team Four but I'm gonna be Team Miles Teller just to be a pissant

>injection counter: 2

>Candor man asks "did you harm anyone" to which Beatrice, under the effects of truth serum, says "my mom," which literally is not true. Then again, maybe the truth isn't a divine thing, rather whatever the serumee believes to be true. Beatrice could be telling the truth as she believes--ie. putting her mom in the position to be shot is as good as killing her herself. So could a totally delusional person invalidate the serum by just believing incorrect things? Discuss with your table.

>Maybe Beatrice should've objected to Four's "neither of us have secrets worth hiding" thing

>"people get hurt when they get close to me" objection, your honor?? Conjecture???? why is truth serum making her say this????????? Again, I think truth serum has a big flaw someone should reformulate

>what's in the box? d. a ceremonial dagger whose holder gets to be King of Earth e. map to the rest of civilization f. the Allegiant book ie. the scene in Spaceballs where they fastforward the movie

>Divergents are special, but some Divergents are more special-er than others. What the fuck does that mean

>Four has a way of flying in from offscreen for stealth attacks. Refuse to believe he's capable of this. Giant, pretty tree, him. Ain't creepin up on nobody

>Jai Courtney we hardly knew Yai Courtney🙏

>what a fool I was to attempt an injection counter when I should've been doing a popped collar counter

>Beatrice wearing a tactical vest and nothing else; I like her style

>"I'm gonna kill Miles Teller!" "okay" lmao

>nine injections in one scene, talk about a buzzer beater

>back to the simulation fakeouts. Still momentarily fun

>still don't think admitting to insecurities should count as Candor. If anything that should be Dauntless

>Beatrice realizing Four's not actually there by him referencing a line from a scene he wasn't in? Cool idea. Don't think Beatrice had to reiterate that, but it's cool

>women in movies love taking showers while holding some random step of the Macarena

>shut up Ansel

>injection count: 12 (I'm counting all the simulation probes separately) (btw: injection count 21)

>good on them for keeping the "breaking glass barriers" motif for all the big "she's a Divergent" moments. Someone on the storyboard team wants senpai to notice. And I did

>so... am I to understand that Kwinslet unknowngly shut herself out of the box by putting Beatrice in a position where she can't act on her Amity-worthy kindness? I'm not ruling out this scene possibly being a longform fakeout. These movies have set a precedent

>Miles Teller Best Character

>injection count: 30. Allegiant's gonna need a miracle to beat this record

>I did predict Beatrice eventually scrapping with a shadow clone by means of self-discovery. Did not predict the video game graphics.

>Beatrice The Cooler Beatrice

>Beatrice should try the ducking in the corner trick, bug out Evil Beatrice's AI

>taking one more guess at what's in the box, for ol' times sake g. incomplete coordinates. Allegiant is about getting the rest of the coordinates, we never find out because they never finished these movies

>okay I was... almost correct? first answer was almost correct. It's a message from outside the city. If I have this right, the whole Faction Society was just a prank bro a social experiment with the goal of creating Divergents, and their greater purpose will be revealed in the next movie, or maybe not because they didn't finish them

>approximately how much time passed between movies? Kwinslet still has a bandage from Beatrice stabbing her hand. Has it been a week? I'm gonna imagine both movies are set over a week.

>Four's mom taking a little too much credit for this

>if Beatrice and Kwinslet don't get their ultimate deathmatch by the end of these I'm eternal sunshining this series from my head

>Faction Society only needed one "you guys can leave" message and everyone packs their bags, lmao. Solid as a rock

>BOO FOUR'S MOM, DENY ME MY THUNDERDONE

I'm clapping folks, I'm sitting at my desk and clapping. That was way better than the first movie, wtf is imdb talking about. We got Punished Venom Beatrice, Miles Teller talkin his shit, the number one cause of death is shooting in the head, YA Sequel Haircuts, Royal Blood at the end which isn't a great band but they bring some much needed oomph to this soundtrack. You'll take Veronica Roth's needles and jumping on trains from her cold dead hands. What is it with 2010s YA trilogies and the second movie being the best one, and why am I the only one who holds this obviously correct opinion? Glad I bought a ticket to this movie in 2015 and didn't watch it for eight years. Bring on movie three, I crave that total deflation.

[cogentranting]

Avatar 2 spoilery thoughts (aka a collection of mini rants): 

the ONLY thing interesting they allowed Neytiri to do was her scene with Spider in the climax (and it’s the most interesting moment in the movie) and there was no follow up to it. Hopefully they follow through on the tense relationship between Spider and Neytiri in the third movie. 

In the middle of the big battle at the end the sea Na’vi are just gone? Where did they go? Why did they leave? The battle wasn’t over and they just... went home? I don’t understand. Even the chief and his wife left and their daughter was still there! They came explicitly to rescue her and then left without her. What is this? 

Spider grew up alongside Jake and Neytiri’s kids, was practically raised by them, but they just keep leaving him behind and forgetting he exists! I get it for Neytiri because it’s explicitly part of her arc that she doesn’t accept him and only sees him as an outsider, but for Jake? Spider is captured by the enemy and Jake just leaves him with no intention of ever going back for him. And even Kiri who I think is supposed to be in love with him (or if not, is closer to him than anyone else) seemed mildly sad that they left him behind but not really concerned. Honestly, I thought it was gonna cause Spider to switch sides and I wouldn’t have blamed him (although it would have made me sad, and I’m glad he didn’t)

Do you think Spider TOLD them that he saved his dad? Or is that gonna be an awkward conversation in movie 3? 

The decision to leave their tribe and go join the Water people actually doesn’t make sense. Yes, Evil Military Guy was targeting their family specifically, but that wasn’t really bringing MORE trouble to their people because they were already actively at war with the humans. The humans want to destroy them, Jake being there doesn’t really change that. Jake’s arc was (kinda) about him deciding that running doesn’t solve anything and he needs to stand and fight so that would have worked except that at the end they DON’T go decide to go back home?? Which is incomprehensible to me. They’re like “we’re sea people now” and I just don’t feel like they are? It would make more sense if they went back but had now forged this alliance with the sea people. 

They kept taking Tuk places and I don’t know why they did that. She’s like SEVEN stop taking her dangerous places! She keeps almost dying! 

Actually ANY time the kids went someplace by themselves at least one of them almost died. They should not be allowed to go anywhere unsupervised. I know part of Jake’s arc was something like learning to trust his kids but he absolutely should not, they will all die. 

I think they’re suggesting that Kiri was like... conceived by the spirit of the planet or something like that and I think that’s dumb and I found her annoying. 

Why can Lo’ak speak whale? 

The bad guys are all so cartoonishly evil. It’s not just they’re willing to do the blatantly evil thing, it’s that they don’t even have a justification for it. They’re not going “actually it’s okay because...” they’re just like “yes I am murdering people groups for their resources. This is evil but I am doing that and I would like you to know that.” And all these random soldiers are totally okay with just murdering literal children. Not even ONE has some hesitation there? 

The marine biologist is making snarky comments to the whaler when the whale attacks as if he wasn’t fully complicit in what they were doing. I’m glad he died too. presumably. 

But actually the whale absolutely WRECKING the whaling ship was so much fun. Good for him. (he doesn’t have a voice actor so I can’t look up his name on IMDB so I have no idea what it is). 

It continues the long movie tradition of bullying that is actually low-key attempted murder. 

Seriously they should have just let Neytiri and Kate Winslet’s character go nuts and murder some military guys. 

[agnosticblowjob]

HONESTLy

[legacyridley]

— LYING IS THE MOST FUN A GIRL CAN HAVE WITHOUT TAKING HER CLOTHES OFF (BUT IT’S BETTER IF YOU DO!)

“I CAN’T RECALL a single amazing thing i have seen first-hand that i didn't immediately reference to a movie or tv show. a fucking commercial. you know the awful singsong of the blasé: seeeen it. i've literally seen it all, and the worst thing, the thing that makes me want to blow my brains out, is: the secondhand experience is always better. the image is crisper, the view is keener, the camera angle and the soundtrack manipulate my emotions in a way reality can't anymore.”

                                                                                          — gillian flynn , gone girl

ooc —

hi there ! i’m shannon, i’m non-binary, my pronouns are she/they and i’m from the united kingdom. you can just call me the ceo of the unhinged rosamund pike cinematic universe, though. or keira knightley’s bitch, because i am, even if i decided against bringing her this time ( still might later ! ) i love morally corrupt women, i’d give my life for them, if one couldn’t tell by . . . uh. frankie. 

application —

[ rosamund pike | 40 | she/her | cis woman ] if it isn’t FRANCESCA RIDLEY ! you know, FRANKIE ! they’ve lived in monarda for TWO MONTHS. some people say that they’re CONSCIENTIOUS & CHARMING, but that they can also be PRIVILEGED & AVARICIOUS. last i heard, they were working FREELANCE as a BUSINESSWOMAN ! i’ve also heard the rumor that they’re a WITCH. if you’d ask me, they remind me of BEING BORN WITH THE METALLIC TANG OF A SILVER SPOON IN YOUR MOUTH ( JUST LIKE THE TASTE OF YOUR OLD-MONEY BLOOD ), “MANEATER” BY NELLY FURTADO PLAYING, SLIGHTLY MUFFLED, FROM INSIDE YOUR CAR, LIKE MUSIC FROM A PARTY BATHROOM, & THE NOTION OF A NEW SELF YOU’LL FIND BY THE SHORE ( BUT HOW’S THAT WORKING OUT FOR YOU, HONEY? DO YOU FEEL LOVED? ) ! i wonder what monarda’s got in store for them today!

BASICS —

NAME: francesca legacy ridley ( yes, really. )

AGE: forty ( b. 28 january, 1981 — knightsbridge, london, united kingdom. )

NICKNAMES: frankie , and frankie only.

GENDER: cis female.

ORIENTATIONS: bisexual / biromantic.

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: divorced & single.

NATIONALITY: british-american ( dual. )

ETHNICITY: white ( english. )

LANGUAGES SPOKEN: english, french, german.

OCCUPATION: social media mogul & socialite. ex-sunglasses model. 

EDUCATION: institut le rosey & magdalen college, oxford.

PERSONALITY —

ASTROLOGICAL BIG THREE: aquarius sun, scorpio moon, scorpio rising.

MBTI TYPE: entj-a. ( the commander. )

HOGWARTS HOUSE: slytherin ( ravenclaw hatstall. )

ENNEAGRAM TYPE: eight with a seven wing ( the maverick. )

THEME SONG: maneater by nelly furtado.

FAVOURITE SONG: lay all your love on me by abba.

FAVOURITE ALBUM: super trouper by abba (1980)

PET PEEVES: people who don’t say ‘thank you’ when you open the door. back-seat drivers. chewing too loudly. tea that’s too milky. cambridge graduates. 

PHOBIAS: trypophobia. hemophobia ( blood ). arachnophobia. coulrophobia ( clowns. )

GUILTY PLEASURES: radio-friendly pop music. sunglasses, still. netflix-binge style sitcoms. kate winslet movies. true crime documentaries. st trinian’s (2007) dir. oliver parker.

ABOUT —

she’s deeply charming but also . . . it’s mostly theatre. ridleys know how to put on a show. ridleys know how to make friends. so meet frankie: #1 flirt, #1 liar, and perfectionist to the nth degree.

oxford graduate from a family of oxford graduates ; if you don’t get what that means for a person, substitute oxford with harvard and you might just about be getting there, right down to the annoying person — the sort of humdrum regular who grinds on francesca’s gears — who says ‘ oh, you went to harvard? say something smart! ’ growing up in a house in london that looks like it is out of a fairytale ( would be, if the city and all its bustle and noise weren’t on the doorstep ) is about as sweet as it sounds, and who could blame one for getting a touch . . . jealous ? well, other than frankie, a product of a private school in switzerland, an oxford college, and a trust fund, who could judge someone for breathing incorrectly, and says things such as ‘ jealousy is a disease, get well soon. ’

HOW DID SHE GET TO HER CURRENT POSITION ? . . .other than her parents’ money and a wealth of connections? well, frankie quickly came to understand something; that every time the older generations catch up to a social media platform, there’s a sudden vacuum as the younger generation work out where to go. and where the audience go is where the influence is, which gains you more connections, more wealth, more influence in places people would never even think to look. do you ever think about what information leaves your hands, and where, when you agree to the terms and conditions? you probably should. 

[ NOTE : when i imagine the platform, it’s something fairly twitter-esque, but without the people who use long hashtags and can’t figure out how it works. and more . . . aesthetic, somehow. like pinterest-level aesthetics. i’ll be working it out over time, but i’ve named it spectrum. yes, it’s named after the florence & the machine song, please don’t judge me. it started off as a university project á la the social network ( brilliant bloody movie ) that went onto a massive scale & became trendy and addictive. imagine if mark zuckerberg was a cool, bisexual, female ex-sunglasses model who once married the heir to grovesnor group, made him sign a considerable prenup and then divorced him when he cheated ( there was some full diana revenge dress content ) fifteen years ago, just before her old university idea went mainstream. he regrets it now, doesn’t he ? ]

imagine the kind of assholes who would give their child ‘ legacy ’ as a middle name to remind her of the constant pressure on her shoulders ? welcome to the ridleys, london-born mother & father to francesca ( golden child, with more issues than meets the eye, actually as much of a party girl as her sister but successful ) and roman ( motorbike-obsessed disgrace. ) they’re one of the oldest witch families out there, but — up until frankie & roman — they’ve been able to keep it quiet for their own benefit. 

so what does frankie DO with her magic? she always says she specialises in the tempting, though the addictive is perhaps more apt. want to feel so excited about something you’ll never be bored again? want the best trip of your life? frankie’s your gal. and does it have anything to do with how influential spectrum became & how much of an addictive presence she can be? . . . well, that’s for her to know & no one to find out. 

AND NOW, THE FINAL QUESTION: why the fuck is london’s premier rich bitch in where she’d consider nowhere, maine ? well, she’s on sort of a self-recreation trip right now. think about tahani in the good place when she tries to step out of the spotlight without actually doing it, except she’s thinking the sea air will cleanse her of a slight... unease coming with the approaching mid-life crisis and having to dye her greys out. 

but now she’s in a smaller place than sprawling london, living in that house you look at and think ‘fuck, i’d kill for that view,’ having to associate with people properly rather than being almost a concept of a person . . . what if people tear aside the mask and discover the serpentine nature and the moral rot that lies behind it ?

credits —

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[aion-rsa]

Best Romantic Movies on Hulu Right Now

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Romance gets a bad rap at the movies. Until you behold the best romantic movies on Hulu.

Yes, Hulu is on the case with an expansive collection of romantic movies for you to connect with your softer side… or the side of you that screams in an eternal tormented shriek, desperately trying to find a mate whose shrieks match your tone in this expansive disappointing nothingness of existence. Love is hard. Anywho, here are the best romantic movies on Hulu right now.

Sense and Sensibility

This Jane Austen character really seems to have a handle on romance. The 1995 film Sense and Sensibility is adapted from the Austen novel of the same name and has a great deal of talent both in front of and behind the camera. Oscar winner Ang Lee directs while Emma Thompson (yes, that Emma Thompson) wrote the script.

Thompson stars alongside Kate Winslet, Alan Rickman and Hugh Grant. The movie, like the book concerns the Dashwood sisters and their sudden descent into non-stupendous wealth. Of course then the romance begins (not between the sisters, weirdos. Alan Rickman and Hugh Grant are in this thing too, remember?)

AWOL

AWOL is how indie romances should be – small, authentic, affecting. Joey (Lola Kirke) and Rayna (Breeda Wool) are two young women from a nowheresville Pennsylvania town. They meetcute at a local carnival and quickly fall for each other but circumstances threaten to crush their romance before it can even begin.

AWOL understands first and foremost that while love is easy, relationships (and arguably everything else in the world is hard). Sometimes what you want and what your environment is able to allow you to have are two very different things.

Margarita with a Straw

2014’s Margarita with a Straw is both a coming-of-age and romance film the likes of which you’ve probably never seen. This Indian film comes from director Shonali Bose and stars Kalki Koechlin as Laila, an Indian teenager with cerebral palsy, trying to achieve some independence in her life.

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That opportunity comes for Laila when she is accepted to New York Universtiy and moves to Greenwich Village. There she meets and falls in love with blind Pakistani activist. Miles from home, Laila must deal with her changing, burgeoning sexuality and live in a world not built for her. But it’s cool: she can always take her margarita with a straw. 

Hello, My Name is Doris

Between TBS’s (now HBO Max’s) Search Party and Hello, My Name is Doris, director Michael Showalter had a stellar 2016. Hello, My Name is Doris is a wonderfully sweet, equally tragic and completely hilarious romantic comedy. 

Sally Field stars as the titular Doris, a lively woman in her ’60s who after the death of her mother becomes infatuated with a younger man. With the help of cliched self-help materials she does whatever she can to get his attention. Hello, My Name is Doris is an empathetic romantic comedy that will change how you view age.

Cashback

Cashback wins a very important award on this list: most intriguing, provocative poster. But it’s more than just a pretty poster. Cashback is a British romantic comedy about the most mundane of topics: working at a grocery store.

For anyone who as ever been young and had an interest in the opposite sex (or any sex for that matter), however, they know that one’s place of employment is often an absolute fountain of sex and chemistry. If that simple exposition isn’t enough, Cashback comes along with a sci-fi twist and more importantly: Oliver Wood from the Harry Potter series. 

Let the Right One In

Let the Right One In may seem like another odd choice for a romantic movie on Hulu but it’s romantic and sweet in a way that few other movies are. Sure, the players involved are a little boy and a little girl vampire (though the fact that she’s a vampire may very well mean she’s centuries old, just try not to think about it).

It’s a spooky yet undeniably sweet movie that presents the female side of a romantic entanglement as the ultimate protector.

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50 First Dates

50 First Dates has a somewhat disappointing Rotten Tomatoes score. Ignore that. It’s probably partially due to many critics’ distaste for at least one of the actors in the above screengrab. Not that they can be blamed. The presence of Adam Sandler or Rob Schneider in any comedy can be a rough sign. In 50 First Dates‘, however, it’s not an issue at all.

50 First Dates is a legitimately funny and romantic romantic comedy. Drew Barrymore stars as Lucy Whitmore, a woman with short-term memory loss. Due to a car accident, every day she wakes up believing it is October 13, 2002. Sandler’s character Henry Roth meets her in Hawaii and the two must overcome this bizarre condition to establish a lasting relationship.

Date Night

What do you get when you take the male lead of a popular NBC sitcom and pair him with the female lead (and mastermind behind) another popular NBC sitcom? A pretty decent rom-com as it turns out! Date Night stars Steve Carell (The Office) and Tina Fey (30 Rock) as a disaffected married couple trying to spice up their love life with a romantic night out on the town. But when a reservation steal turns into a case of mistaken identity, the pair’s night gets quite dangerous.

Date Night‘s action-heavy concept isn’t anything new to the romantic comedy genre but the presence of Carell and Fey (along with Mark Wahlberg, Taraji P. Henson, James Franco, Kirsten Wiig, Mark Ruffalo, and a whole host of other impressive talent) is enough to make this a pleasant viewing experience.

The Princess Bride

So you want to watch one of the most purely lovely and entertaining romance movies of all time? Well Hulu is here to say “as you wish.” The Princess Bride is a 1987 fantasy adventure film based on a book by prolific screenwriter William Goldman. The inspiration to the story infamously came from Goldman’s two daughters requesting conflicting stories about “princesses” and “brides.” So the writer decided to do two for the price of one.

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In this adaptation, Cary Elwes stars as Westley, a young farmhand who loves Princess Buttercup (Robin Wright). But when Westley is shipwrecked and left for dead and Buttercup is betrothed to Prince Humperdinck, the hero must embark on a sprawling adventure to rescue her. And of course this is a framed bedtime story being told to Fred Savage in bed…as all movies should be.

The Boy Downstairs

So much of what goes into a good romantic relationship is timing. Sometimes the chemistry is there but the timing is not. 2017’s The Boy Downstairs delves into this phenomenon from a millennial perspective.

Aspiring Brooklyn writer Diana (Zosia Mamet) and aspiring musician (millennials are always aspiring, you see) Ben (Matthew Shear) are in a happy, successful relationship. But Diana is forced to break things off after she moves to London. When Diana returns, she finds a new apartment through her friend and guess who just happens to be the boy downstairs? That’s right: Ben…and with a new girlfriend, no less. What follows is a funny, yet mature examination of what it takes to get the right one back.

Happiest Season

The setup for Hulu’s 2020 Internet-breaking comedy Happiest Season is very romantic…to a point. Abby (Kristen Stewart) and Harper (Mackenzie Davis) are in love. Yay! Not only that, but they’re going to Harper’s parents’ house for Christmas where Abby might propose. Woo! Also Harper has not told her parents she’s a lesbian and in a committed relationship with a woman. Oh. Oh no. Poor Abby!

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Questionable setup aside, this an excellent, personal effort from actress turned writer-director Clea DuVall. It’s an attention-grabber and conversation-starter to be sure. It also certainly doesn’t hurt that much of the cast is mind-meltingly hot. Stewart, Davis, Alison Brie, and Aubrey Plaza are like a who’s who of TV and movie crushes. Hell even Victor Garber and Mary Steenburgen can absolutely get it. All in all, the charismatic cast and accessible concept makes for a surprisingly wholesome romance movie.

Plus One

Maybe it’s just me, but there’s something really charming about erstwhile TV stars playing the lead opposite each other in a romantic movie. Such is the case with 2019’s Plus One, which stars Maya Erskine (of Pen15) and Jack Quaid (of The Boys).

Erskine and Quaid star as long-time friends Alice and Ben enduring the portion of their twenties where every friend seems to be getting married at once. Thankfully Alice and Ben have a longstanding agreement to always be each other’s “plus one” at every wedding. But such an arrangement couldn’t possibly lead to them discovering they have romantic feelings for each other, right? Right???

Palm Springs

“Time loop” movies frequently try to distinguish themself from Groundhog Day, the progenitor and most famous example of the form, by changing up the genre. Edge of Tomorrow is an action movie and Happy Death Day is a horror movie, for instance. What’s so impressive about Palm Springs is that it leans in to the romantic and comedic stylings of Groundhog Day and in many ways bests them.

In this movie, Andy Samberg styles as Nyles, a young man living through the hell of experiencing the same day (a wedding in Palm Springs) on a loop. In one particular loop, Nyles accidentally brings in the bride’s sister Sarah (Christin Milioti) and the two must confront the reality of living the same day over and over again forever together. You know…just like any couple.

LOVE AND BASKETBALL, Omar Epps, Sanaa Lathan, 2000, (c)New Line Cinema/courtesy Everett Collection

Love and Basketball

And now we come to a movie whose title is the two greatest things in the world! Love and Basketball is about…well, what you’d think. Quincy McCall (Omar Epps) and Monica Wright (Sanaa Lathan) are two next-door neighbors in Los Angeles, California, who are both singularly focused on pursuing their respective basketball careers.

Love and Basketball is a film all about passions – both creative and romantic. The movie also does a surprisingly thorough job of marking all the important beats of a relationship from childhood through the adult years. There’s a reason Love and Basketball has become a modest cult classic – it’s a fine execution of both the romantic and sports movie genres.

The post Best Romantic Movies on Hulu Right Now appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[purplesurveys]

1109

What were you like at 17? Infinitely more naïve than I am now. I was going through my first heartbreak, funnily enough caused by the same person who is the reason for my current heartbreak, but that’s a story I’ve shared a million times. Anyway, at 17 I was still in high school so I was definitely more carefree about a lot of things; I wasn’t worrying about the future too much just yet, and I was still set on taking journalism. I was also going through my first family death which allowed me to explore a new side of my emotions.

Tell us about your first kiss. I had been really nervous about it and I felt like I wasn’t ready. But she was very gentle and took her time with me that night, even though I could tell she really wanted to have that kiss. I knew I hadn’t been a good kisser for my first, but she seemed to have good memories of it years later when we revisited the experience.

Tell us about your worst date. I’ve never been on a date with someone I wasn’t seeing.

What’s your biggest flaw? I’m extra sensitive and can’t take even the most playful of jabs without feeling the least bit hurt, unless the dig came from someone I’m extremely comfortable with, like Angela. That makes me the worst person for banter in most cases and it makes me not the most approachable person.

What’s the coolest thing you’ve bought lately? To be honest with you, I only ever buy food lol. I’ve been an employee for three months now and I have yet to buy something that’s meant to be an investment or is meant to last with me. 

Who is your celebrity crush? Can’t really decide between Kristen Stewart and Kate Winslet. Love them both.

What is your biggest pet peeve? I don’t appreciate lateness very much, especially if people have no reason to be.

What’s the song you most wish you had written? I don’t really think like this. If anything, I’m grateful there are songwriters out there who can pen songs that perfectly encapsulate my thoughts and feelings.

What do you always take with you when you travel? Phone, laptop, my chargers for each, wallet, and too many clothes because I like having multiple choices on what to wear while I’m traveling.

Do you have any pets? Two dogs.

Have you or someone you know ever drunk dialed? I never have, but I probably know a ton of people who have.

What is the worst break up you have experienced? The most recent one. The person I trusted the most hurt me in more ways than I could ever imagine. She seemed so desperate to get rid of me, and I will never be able to shake off the excruciating pain of feeling unwanted. She made it sound like I put her on a leash when I did nothing but attend to her every need and adjusted in a million ways for her comfort while never asking for anything back. I blamed myself for months, never knowing what exactly I was blaming myself for.

I worked my goooooooddamn hardest to get to where I am today, and I’m not sure she deserves to re-enter my life after the work and fixing I’ve done to be able to forgive and love myself.

Have you ever been stuck by someone very annoying on a plane/bus/etc? I don’t think so. The only one I remember was a seatmate on a plane who snored for the entire trip, but it didn’t bother me too much. When was the last time you were rejected by someone? Late 2020.

Has someone way older than you tried to hit on you? Nope.

Have you ever been cheated on? Never. 

Did you get lost at all on your first day of high school? No. I went to the same school from kinder to high school, so by freshman year I could’ve gone through the entire campus blindfolded.

Have you ever been interrupted during sex? Yeah many times.

Have you ever been recorded doing stupid things while drunk? Yeah, I’m the favorite for that kind of content haha. I can get quite silly when drunk.

Has a significant other ever called you by the wrong name? Nope.

Have you ever cooked anything and it turned out horrible? Not exactly, but close. I’ve baked stuff before that ended up tasting like nothing.

What is the worst birthday you have ever had? I don’t think I have one that’s in the running for absolute worst, but my 21st birthday coincided with Easter Sunday so I couldn’t invite anyone to celebrate with me. Gabie’s parents, who aren’t even particularly religious, didn’t allow her to celebrate with me because it was Easter, so that was a blow. Angela saved the day by taking me to dinner and spending the whole evening with me, but by the end of the evening Gabie and I had a lengthy argument and she kept trying to break up with me. It was a miserable end to a mostly miserable birthday.

Have you ever choked on chewing gum? Probably briefly in the past. I don’t have any moments that stuck with me.

Have you ever found anything dirty in a siblings room? No, but I also don’t go looking around through his things. < Same.

Have you ever made a bad first impression on someone’s parents? I’m sure I have. I once made a mess in a high school classmate’s bathroom when I cleaned my hands to get red food coloring off of them. I did want to clean it, but my mom suddenly came to pick me up so I had to leave the sink in such a messy state. Years later and I still feel bad about it, even though I’ve never been close to that girl and I’ve never visited her house since.

When is the last time you got into a fist fight? Idk man, 15 years ago? The only physical fights I’ve gotten into were with my siblings and cousins when we were kids.

Have you ever been spit on by a llama? I don’t think I’ve ever even seen a llama in real life.

Have you ever locked yourself out of your car/house? The house, yes many times. Never out of my car.

Describe how you got one of your scars. My right ring toe got caught in the gears once when I was riding my bike.

Describe how you’ve broken a bone, if you have. Never have. Would hate to feel what it’d be like D:

Have you ever had a near death experience? The time I got shocked when I was 11 probably comes the closest.

When you get cold at home, do you get a sweater/hoodie or get a blanket? I rarely get colds. When I do, I just wait for it to leave; I don’t really do anything to deal with it.

Do you require visual assistance? (i.e.; glasses or contacts) I’ve had glasses since I was 11.

Do you work out? Occasionally.

Describe the last cup you drank from. It was just a clear glass that had water in it.

What is a food that you always are in the mood to eat? Sushi and sashimi.

Do you like sausage? I’ve never liked sausage tbhhhh. It tastes odd to me.

Ever held a newborn animal? I don’t think. The closest I’ve come to holding a newborn was meeting Cooper when he was two months old and barely looked like a beagle.

Do you make a wish when you blow out your birthday candles? I haven’t had a birthday cake in a while, but in general I do make wishes when I get the chance to blow out candles.

Have you ever been to Boston? Nope.

Describe your hair at the moment. I showered a few hours ago so it’s still a bit damp, but otherwise it’s nothing special.

What is the last thing you searched for online? I looked for a synonym for a certain word, but I don’t remember what it was.

What are you sitting on? The chair in my room. I actually haven’t sat on it for a couple of months, so it feels pretty refreshing to do so again.

Could you use a massage right now? If I could get rid of how terribly ticklish I am, I would so appreciate a massage right now, yeah.

Is it wicked hard for you to sleep when its hot in your room? Yup and I also get insanely cranky as well. Being hot is one of the worst sensations ever, if not the outright worst.

Do you sleep on your stomach/back/side most often? On my stomach with my arms and legs wrapped around a pillow.

Do make sure you dot your I`s when you write? Yes.

Do you dunk your cookies in milk? No, I just like to eat them on their own.

What did you wear today? I had a tank top and shorts for most of today.

Do medical terms make you uncomfortable? Not really, unless I’m diagnosed with a certain condition lol.

Are you afraid of failure? Yeah because I really hate losing or people thinking I’m not capable enough. The older I get and the more experiences I gain, though, the more I’ve been less afraid to commit mistakes. More and more I realize everybody I deal with are people who also make mistakes and are afraid of making mistakes.

Have you been called a bad influence? I’m sure I have.

What about Chinese food? Love it or hate it? I loooove Chinese food, but it’s not one of my top favorites.

How do you feel about getting new neighbors? I honestly have no clue who any of my neighbors are, so I would barely notice if we got new ones.

Why were you last in a hospital? I needed to get blood and urine tests because my fever wasn’t going away and it was time to figure out what was wrong with me.

When is the last time you went to a doctor, and why? We needed him to figure out what I had from the results of the aforementioned medical tests, and for him to prescribe the proper medicine for me to take.

[tabloidtoc]

Star, June 29

You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: Brad Pitt dumps Jennifer Aniston again 

Page 1: Matthew Perry falls into a funk after his recent breakup leaving loved ones frantic about his well-being 

Page 2: Contents, Joe and Melissa Gorga work out in their home gym 

Page 4: Hayden Panettiere’s Fresh Start -- coming out the other side of a toxic relationship she has hope for the future -- in addition to improving her relationship with ex-fiance Wladimir Klitschko she wants to get her career back on track 

Page 5: Kate Winslet fell in love with New Zealand while filming Avatar 2 recently so much so that she’s seriously contemplating moving there, even after Lea Michele issued a mea culpa about her diva behavior the comeuppance kept coming so she’s reached out to costars like Emma Roberts and Jonathan Groff but so far no one’s vouching for her good name and she feels betrayed, stepping out as lockdown restrictions eased in California Maria Shriver’s newly smooth face comes from Botox and filler and laser resurfacing and skin-tightening procedures but she needs work on her neck and decolletage so the contrast is less apparent 

Page 6: Now that Justin Hartley has been flaunting his new romance with Sofia Pernas his This Is Us sister Chrissy Metz who considers Justin’s ex Chrishell Stause a friend can no longer keep quiet because Chrissy isn’t one to not express her opinion especially when she feels someone’s being hurtful, The Real cohost Amanda Seales announced her departure from the show saying people at the top aren’t respecting the necessity for black voices to be at the top too, Star Spots the Stars -- Lily Collins, Justin and Hailey Bieber, Emmy Rossum, Kylie Jenner using Luxie’s cruelty-free beauty brushes, Tim McGraw sharing a passionate speech about ocean pollution, Lucy Hale, Cedric the Entertainer 

Page 8: Star Shots -- Heather Graham and Odessa Rae at the beach, Brooke Burke leaving the exercise studio, Winnie Harlow on a hike in Big Bear Lake 

Page 10: Kiddie Care -- Kylie Jenner and daughter Stormi, Molly Sims tows her kids Grey and Scarlett while on a bike, Chrissy Teigen and kids Luna and Miles sifted through their many costume options 

Page 11: Jason Biggs and sons Sid and Lazlo, Brigitte Nielsen and daughter Frida 

Page 12: Machine Gun Kelly and Mod Sun enjoy a boys’ night out at Craig’s, January Jones, Kerry Washington 

Page 13: Gavin Rossdale, Ariel Winter 

Page 14: SNL’s Michael Che hosted a comedy show from the flatbed of a pickup truck in Long Island City, Mario Lopez showed his support for Mark Wahlberg on his 49th birthday, RHOBH Dorit Kemsley taking out the garbage 

Page 16: John Boyega gave a powerful speech about racial injustice and inequality at a Black Lives Matter demonstration in Hyde Park, Adam Sandler at the beach 

Page 17: Scout Willis and her dog Grandma, Kim Zolciak-Biermann and husband Kroy Biermann 

Page 18: Normal or Not? Lucy Hale put her dog Elvis in a backpack for a hike -- not, Justin Bieber multi-tasked while riding a bike barefoot -- not, a dressed-down Christina Milian pumps gas -- normal 

Page 20: Fashion -- stars charm in puff-sleeve minis -- Madeline Brewer, Ali Larter, Millie Bobby Brown 

Page 21: Lucy Boynton, Naomi Watts, Camila Cabello 

Page 24: Kelly Clarkson and Brandon Blackstock are over 

Page 25: Khloe Kardashian was worried about going public with her being back together with baby daddy Tristan Thompson because of the backlash it would create but she’s been spending a lot of time with Tristan and really believes he’s changed and she’s throwing caution to the wind and making it official and has already been spotted openly getting cozy with him at a friend’s birthday party, Denise Richards and Aaron Phypers’ marriage continues to be rocked by former Real Housewife Brandi Glanville’s allegation that she and Denise had an affair, Hayley Erbert is patiently waiting for Derek Hough to propose but Derek is skeptical of marriage and worries that they are both children of divorce and he fears that he and Hayley could repeat the pattern 

Page 26: Cover Story -- Brad Pitt dumps Jennifer Aniston again -- after reuniting during lockdown the onetime golden couple are over as Brad gives Jen her walking papers

Page 30: Kim Kardashian and Kanye West together but alone -- the fighting’s gotten so bad that Kim and Kanye can’t stand to be under the same roof and now friends fear the pair are at the breaking point 

Page 32: Jennifer Garner wants her old life back -- as Ben Affleck and Ana de Armas take their romance to the next level Jen is eyeing them with envy 

Page 34: Blamed & Mom-Shamed -- they can’t even breastfeed in peace! For famous moms there’s no end to the flak they catch from the parenting police -- Shay Mitchell, Amy Schumer, Alicia Silverstone 

Page 35: Chrissy Teigen, Shawn Johnson, Hilary Duff, Jessica Simpson 

Page 36: Health -- staycay essentials -- Brooke Burke 

Page 38: Beauty -- PRIDE yourself 

Page 40: Entertainment 

Page 41: Q&A with Joel McHale 

Page 48: Parting Shot -- Nina Dobrev does a cartwheel at the Welcome to Utah sign on her QuaranTrip

[thisguyatthemovies]

Why so quirky?

It took more than 14 years to get around to it, but the other night I watched the 2005 Cameron Crowe train wreck “Elizabethtown,” a film that sometimes shows up on Worst Movie Ever lists. It’s bad, but its “worst” status is more about disappointment, given the writer-director’s previous track record {“Say Anything…,” “Almost Famous,” “Jerry Maguire,” “Fast Times at Ridgemont High”). Still, did I mention it’s bad? A ridiculous premise, plot lines that go nowhere, obvious and heavy-handed symbolism, multiple and sickeningly sweet (and annoying) “meet cutes” and quite possibly some of the worst casting in a major motion picture ever all add up to a movie that deserves much criticism.

“Elizabethtown” also is notorious for inspiring the term “Manic Pixie Dream Girl” (or MPDG). The phrase usually is credited to Nathan Rabin, who wrote a piece about the movie, “The Bataan Death March of Whimsy Case File #1: ‘Elizabethtown,’” for AV/Film nearly 15 months after its release. In it, he describes Kirsten Dunst’s character, Claire, the inexplicably bubbly love interest of suicidal-but-handsome protagonist Drew Baylor (Orlando Bloom), as the embodiment of the Manic Pixie Dream Girl. Rabin describes the type as such:

“The Manic Pixie Dream Girl exists solely in the fevered imaginations of sensitive writer-directors to teach broodingly soulful young men to embrace life and its infinite mysteries and adventures.”

By that definition, applied retroactively, Dunst’s Claire isn’t the first MPDG in movie history (some include Katharine Hepburn’s early roles on MPDG lists), nor is she even the best example of one (think Natalie Portman in “Garden State,” or Zooey Deschanel in “Yes Man” or the TV show “New Girl”). And the term, which Rabin reportedly now regrets coining, has become better defined with attributes that don’t necessarily fit Claire, even though she will forever be considered the epitome of the trope.

In case you have not seen “Elizabethtown” (and you’ll probably be just fine never seeing it), Bloom plays a shoe designer who works for a company not unlike Nike. Somehow, he is saddled with all the blame for a shoe that is so bad that it is recalled and will cost the company (somehow) nearly a billion dollars. Bloom’s Drew Baylor is fired and decides to off himself, but a phone call about the unexpected death of his father interrupts him during his first attempt. Drew, a West Coaster, is enlisted by his family to travel to Elizabethtown, Ky., his father’s hometown and where the elder Baylor has passed away, to bring the body home for cremation. Relatives in Kentucky have other plans for his final resting place.

Drew takes a flight to Kentucky and – wouldn’t you know it? – is the only passenger on the plane. That’s where Claire comes in. She apparently is the lone stewardess, and she is a talkative one at that. She won’t leave Drew alone from the get-go, and she (somehow) senses Drew is troubled and needs help because, for a guy who had a relatively important position with an internationally known shoe maker, he has no idea how to live this thing we call life. She does what any upstanding MPDG would do – she makes the repair of his damaged soul her sole purpose in life.

Claire would seem to vary from the standard trope in that she has a life of her own, at least when she and Drew meet. Her career would afford her at least a modest independent existence. She seems to have a nice place. She even has a boyfriend, though it is not clear if the guy really exists or, if he does, he is all that into her. But Claire quickly becomes a genie let out of the bottle; Drew’s every wish is her command. She just happens to show up wherever Drew is so much that if the roles were reversed, Drew would be accused of stalking. She says all the right things, even as Drew continues to hint at ending his life. She even (somehow) has the availability to, within a brief period of time, piece together a scrapbook (including hand-drawn illustrations) that will help Drew navigate a soul-discovering solo cross-country road trip AND (this being a Cameron Crowe movie) has provided the soundtrack via mix CDs that are (somehow) timed perfectly to coincide with landmarks during Drew’s travels. So omnipresent, so magical is Dunst’s character that some have suggested she was written to be a guardian angel sent to save Drew’s life. That interpretation at least makes some of Claire’s story semi-plausible and almost tolerable.

Claire is selfless to a fault, and she certainly is strange, maybe unstable. But, if anything, Manic Pixie Dream Girls lost even more sense of self and picked up more strangeness as the stock character turned into a full-fledged trope. Think Deschanel as Allison in the 2008 Jim Carrey vehicle “Yes Man.” As is always the case in these things, Carrey is a cynical, disillusioned man looking for meaning in life. He happens upon Allison, who hits a lot of stock MPGD notes. She zips around town on a moped. She wears mismatched clothing from vintage stores. She performs avant garde (and awful) music. Her primary means of supporting herself (?) is by teaching a class that combines jogging and photography. She is everything Carrey’s Carl Allen is not, mostly carefree. They, of course, engage in romance, even though Carl is notably older than Allison (that’s the case in many films, not just MPDG movies).

In 2010’s “Scott Pilgrim vs. the World,” two characters combine for the role of MPDG. The titular character, played by Michael Cera, is a slacker musician a few years removed from high school. That doesn’t stop him from dating a high-schooler, Knives Chau (Ellen Wong), whose sole purpose is as a superfan for Scott’s band. Then Scott meets the girl of his dreams (literally), Ramona Flowers (Mary Elizabeth Winstead), who is at least older than Knives but still is quirky (she works delivering packages while on roller skates) and impulsive (she often changes her hair color) but is too aloof and serious to be a full-on MPDG. She does, however, end up being a sort-of trophy, to be won if Scott can defeat her seven evil exes. So, her existence still is minimalized.

Some movies have addressed the MPDG thing head-on. Though sometimes cited as a MPDG, Kate Winslet’s Clementine in 2004’s “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind” is actually the anti-MPDG. Sure, she wears orange hair and gloves with the fingertips cut off, and she’s impulsive. But she also is flawed, sometimes dark and independent (MPDGs typically don’t get any of those traits). And she says this, which seems like a direct response to the trope, even though the term didn’t yet exist, as written by Charlie Kaufman: “Too many guys think I’m a concept, or I complete them, or I’m gonna make them alive. But I’m just a fu**ed-up girl who’s looking for my own peace of mind. Don’t assign me yours.”

Those are sentiments Claire in “Elizabethtown” never would have expressed, her focus being on a lost, sensitive young man and his happiness, not hers. Nor would she be allowed to even think such, given she and MPDGs like her are the products of writers and filmmakers who want to believe that this idealized version of young women is out there. That will probably be the case as long as men are writing movies, just as the male equivalent of the MPDG – the ridiculously handsome man with washboard abs who manages to accumulate much wealth despite always being around to tend to a woman’s needs and whisk her off to beaches on his private jet – will always exist as long as women are fantasizing about them and flocking to see them in rom-com-drams and reading about them in romance novels.

A little healthy fantasy is fine, but movie tropes and stereotypes are not, if we believe they can shape how we live in real life. Manic Pixie Drew Girls, though not totally a thing of the past (Joi, the A.I. girlfriend in 2017’s “Blade Runner 2049,” comes to mind as an updated version), are becoming outdated as more and more females are having their voices heard in Hollywood. MPDGs are being replaced by independent women who are the focus of the story and don’t have to be bubbly if they don’t feel like it, who aren’t required to be quirky and can chase their own happiness. These characters, unlike Manic Pixie Dream Girls, are multidimensional. They give a movie depth, not just gloss.

Imagine if that’s the kind of character Dunst’s Claire could have been. “Elizabethtown” wouldn’t show up on so many Worst Movie Ever lists. And it wouldn’t have been forever linked to a tired movie trope and the terminology to describe it.

[clarehqs]

hello, it’s eleanor coming at you with another character already. writing this made me so sad for her but she’s a little sweetie so please come & plot with me !!

･:*:･ﾟ☆ ( lady gaga. thirty. cisfemale. she/her ) ↷ ( clarissa fontaine ) has been spotted by the paparazzi in los angeles. they are a ( d ) list celebrity known for their career as an ( actress & singer/songwriter ). they’re known by their fans to be ( eloquent, empathetic & genuine) but the tabloids frequently portray them to be ( impulsive, self-critical & vulnerable ) . i wish them every success in the entertainment industry. [sia vc]. (eleanor. 20. bst. she/her) ･:*:･ﾟ☆

clarissa fiorella fontaine, is an italian-american actress, singer and songwriter of italian and french-canadian descent. she was born just outside of milan, italy to vincent and fiorella fontaine. her father was a rich man who’s father blew their money gambling. andrew didn’t know how to react at first, he didn’t have enough money to get home and this was worrying

. it took the two six years to save up enough money to go to the united states, and clarissa had a hard time adjusting at first. she was fluent in both english and italian, but the french was difficult for her. always being a dramatic child, her father had the idea to sit her in front of a tv and perfect her english whilst he looked for agencies to take his little blonde beauty.

as she was only young, it didn’t take long for clarissa to be picked up by a tv show called “the generation house” that would run for eight seasons and it would be shot in new york city. clarissa was given the part of philippa ‘pippa’ williams, a main character. the money quickly came in and her parents were so proud of her. after their finances had sky-rocketed because of the girls’ success; there was constant pressure on clarissa to provide for her family. there wasn’t much love present in their family. her parents became obsessed with money and no matter how well she did, nothing could ever repair their bond. they had prepared the child for this industry and she wasn’t really their problem, just their source of income. she did try to quit as she was absolutely exhausted bu her parents wouldn’t let her.

the girl didn’t see any of her money until she was eighteen. she cut off her parents and doesn’t like to talk to them. there are times when they come back to speak to her, looking for money; sometimes she caves, sometimes she doesn’t. the people who were supposed to protect her just used her for money... by the time she was an adult, she had definitely worked too much.

by the time she had finished shooting “the children of years”, clare was eighteen and she was looking for something more substantial. however, the transition from child star to actress was very hard; no one could get past her previous roles, that were light-hearted and comedic. her only option was to go in to the independent film industry, to get down to the nitty-gritty, the meaningful and artistic films and some got recognition while some didn’t even make a final cut. it was deflating to be pushed in to the background after so much work in her early years.

at this time in her career, she did want to quit but then just thought back to how her parents reacted to that when she was younger. she was scared that the entire world was going to reject her.

it worried her because she hadn’t had to time to get a proper education, she hadn’t gone to school and appeared to have made no actual friends; most of the cast members that she had worked with had gone their separate ways; most of the child actors were either in rehab or had quit as they decided that it wasn’t for them. it took clarissa years to break back in to the blockbuster hits.

she married a writer named victor lindley in 2006 and the two seemed perfect for each other; he kept clarissa grounded and she made him more confident. as she began to feel more secure, her acting just became better. however, he began to grow concerned with clare’s behaviour; the drinking, partying and her frequent attempts to conjure up stories to make herself relevant wasn’t healthy, he asked her for a divorce quickly. the woman was heartbroken, her security net had vanished yet she still had to keep smiling for the camera.

he went to her parents to convince them to intervene and get her help, but instead they sold the story to every newspaper in new york and la, to ruin her chances of ever getting a job. clare received more and more attention for it. it was at this time when she came under new management and that was probably one of the worst decisions of her life.

using all that betrayal, she channelled all of her emotion in her most notable movie that was 2008′s ‘vices’ wherein she played harrison ford’s mistress; fontaine was nominated for an academy award but was beaten by kate winslet for the award. it wasn’t a secret that clarissa seemed to loved the limelight but this was for the right reason, she deserved the recognition she got, some even said that winslet robbed her that year. the risk with the new management seemed to be paying off; she was an a-lister, a well sought after actress that people just couldn’t get enough of. however, she was extremely overworked and no one in her team seemed to care for her emotional state.

despite becoming depressed, she won an academy award in 2015 for a movie she shot with dame helen mirren. it was meaningful at first but she was beginning to realise that she didn’t really have anyone around her. her ex husband thought that she was too much, her management were yelling at her for her personal choices and although she carried on smiling for the cameras, nothing seemed to make it any better. how could she feel so unlovable when she had so many fans??

problems became worse when her opportunities started to decline; she didn’t feel like doing anything but was too scared to tell her management no. whenever she didn’t get a job, they blamed her and became quite aggressive with her; she still just sees this as tough love. she doesn’t know what she’s worth, honestly. the drinking, partying, reckless behavior started up again. she even get plastic surgery done to make herself feel more beautiful but she didn’t feel that way, she just felt disgusted in herself.

there wasn’t really anything that pushed her over the edge, it was more the small things of building and building; her management pushing her, the exhaustion she felt from working too hard, the press smothering her, the feeling of being constantly alone - she couldn’t live like this.

she tried to take her own life about a year ago after posting a distressing video depicting her being upset online. it upset quite a lot of people to see her like that all over the world and when anyone mentions it, she just feels guilty. her management try to remove all copies from the web but people do keep on reposting it.

she spent four months in a psychiatric hospital before returning home. clarissa has kept herself to herself, hidden from the word. she’s spent it at a piano, exploring music, putting everything she felt into words through her songs. the last thing she expected was to get signed. her album 1000 forms of fear was released a month ago but she hasn’t done any promo for it herself. the woman’s definitely more quiet these days...

despite the pass, she’s not got rid of her management yet; they’re what she knows and can take it from here but she’ll honestly be so much better without them. once she gets rid of them, things will really start to turn around for her.

she is a really nurturing person but she’s very unpredictable. she’s trying to be more honest about her feelings but as she’s grown up as an actress, that’s quite difficult for her. she just needs to remember to go slow and take a breath...

clarissa’s been mia for a considerable amount of time and she’s only just entered back into the game so please bear that in mind when interacting with her.

[science-criticaltheory]

What We Can Learn About Climate Change From The Titanic by Dawn Stover

Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio starred in the 1997 film Titanic. Credit: Paramount Pictures

I recently shared the latest news about climate change with my Facebook friends, writing this: “The five warmest years in recorded history have been the last five, and 18 of the 19 warmest years have occurred since 2001.” One of my friends commented that it reminded him of those people who were rearranging the deck chairs as the Titanic sank. Are climate deniers their modern equivalent?

The climate ship has definitely sailed: Even if we could eliminate all carbon emissions overnight, the planet’s average temperature and sea level would not decrease in the coming decades, because of the inertia built into the climate system. As with a massive ship, you can’t wait until the last minute to start steering away from disaster. But even on the doomed Titanic, there would have been many more survivors if the right actions had been promptly taken, and the same is true today for global warming.

As a matter of historical fact, the Titanic’s 614 wood-and-wicker chairs were probably tied up for the night when the ship began sinking. The first reference to “rearranging the deck chairs” did not appear in print until the late 1960s. Nevertheless, the expression has since come to describe futile actions taken in the face of impending catastrophe. Like, say, President Trump calling for “forest clearing” to address wildfire risks in California—where the deadliest recent fires, made worse by climate change, did not happen in forests. The phrase remains an all-too-accurate description of the little that is being done to stabilize our planet’s climate.

More should have survived. The RMS Titanic struck an iceberg in the middle of the night and sank in less than three hours on April 15, 1912—taking 1,517 men, women, and children to their deaths. Only about 700 people survived. The ship’s designer and captain went down with the ship, but the president of the company that built the Titanic survived (much to his regret), as did more than 60 percent of his fellow first-class passengers. By comparison, only 25 percent of the passengers in the ship’s third class survived. The ship was on its maiden voyage from Southampton, England to New York City.

Whether or not the Titanic collision was avoidable remains a matter of debate. The ship might have been going too fast. The radio officer might have been paying too much attention to sending personal messages for wealthy passengers and too little attention to iceberg warnings from other ships. The lookout might have spotted the iceberg sooner if he had binoculars. The crew might have waited a half-minute too long to turn the ship, or turned too hard, or turned in the wrong direction, or reversed the engines when it would have been better to maintain forward thrust.

What is certain, however, is that hundreds more people should have survived the collision. They went down with the ship because of poor planning and lax regulation. That is precisely what will kill millions of people around the world, most of them traveling in steerage, so to speak, in the absence of immediate action to keep the planet’s climate system afloat. Our entire economic system is in desperate need of a course correction and more lifeboats. Instead we’re getting revised seating arrangements for the passengers who can afford deck chairs.

Stupefying unpreparedness. It’s unfair to blame the passengers of the Titanic for their own demise. Had they scrutinized the newspapers of their day, they would have learned that the ship was the largest built and virtually “unsinkable” (although the White Star Line never made that claim). We can hardly expect passengers to have packed their own lifeboats for the journey.

Many passengers made unfortunate decisions as the crisis unfolded, however. Some stayed inside while the evacuation was happening. It was cold out, and they believed the whole thing was only a drill. Others realized the ship had been hit but did not understand how quickly it could go down, so they remained onboard to wait for rescue. They put their faith in misinformation, just as many Americans willfully ignore what is happening right outside their windows.

The lion’s share of the blame must be assigned not to the passengers, however, but rather to the ship’s owners, managers, and captain—along with the shipping industry’s government regulators. In their wanton disregard for risk, the responsible parties are not unlike today’s climate deniers.

There were two official inquiries into the sinking: one by the United States Senate and the other by the British Wreck Commissioner on behalf of the British Board of Trade. The latter concluded that the ship’s loss “was due to collision with an iceberg, brought about by the excessive speed at which the ship was being navigated.” The US Senate took a different tack, finding that the disaster was not the result of negligence by the White Star Line or its holding company International Mercantile Marine (bankrolled by American financier J. P. Morgan), but that the ship lacked essential life-saving equipment and “when the crisis came a state of absolute unpreparedness stupefied both passengers and crew.” The Senate blamed a shortage of lifeboats on the British Board of Trade, “to whose laxity of regulation and hasty inspection the world is largely indebted for this awful fatality.”

A chain reaction. As with climate change, the sinking of the Titanic was the result of multiple factors, beginning with a faulty design: The ship’s 16 “watertight” compartments were supposed to keep it afloat even if as many as four of the compartments flooded. However, the bulkheads (dividing walls) of the compartments did not extend all the way to the ceiling. When the iceberg left a large gash in the ship’s hull, so much water entered some compartments that it rose higher than the bulkheads and flooded adjacent compartments.

New designs are often touted as being “safer” than older ones, but increased complexity tends to increase the possibility of unintended consequences—even as it inspires false confidence. In the case of theTitanic, engineers made faulty assumptions about the strength of its rivets and steel hull, both of which ultimately proved to be of poor quality. The hull plates were made from steel that was extremely high in sulfur, which made it susceptible to brittle fracture, especially in ice-cold water.

A botched response. According to survivors, the ship’s captain did not issue a general alarm to warn the crew and passengers that they would need to abandon ship. There was no public address system. Even those passengers who were aware that there was an emergency did not know where to go or what they were supposed to do. The crew did not have a well-oiled plan for launching the lifeboats, which delayed the process. As with the climate crisis, there was an abysmal lack of leadership.

Worst of all, there were not enough lifeboats on the ship. The Titanic was designed to carry 32 boats, half the number needed for everyone on board, but its owners decided to install only 20 boats, so that the deck would be less cluttered. They preferred lounge chairs over lifeboats, and regulators at the British Board of Trade were just fine with that. In fact, 20 lifeboats were more than required by law.

The Titanic’s lifeboats could have accommodated 1,178 people (or more, because it was arguably safe to overfill the boats in the flat-water conditions that prevailed on the night of the accident). That’s almost 500 more people than actually survived. The first lifeboat to leave, with a capacity of 65, took only 27 people, and others also left half-filled. Only two boats returned after launch to pick up more people. And of the 20 boats carried by the ship, only 18 were launched successfully. One overturned during a last-minute launch attempt, and another floated away empty.

Rescuers recover an overturned collapsible lifeboat from the wreck of the Titanic.

Although they differed in assigning blame, the two official inquiries into the Titanic’s sinking agreed on the need for stronger hulls and better safety practices, including a requirement that ships carry sufficient lifeboats and rafts to accommodate everyone onboard. That’s a no-brainer for ships, but doesn’t everyone on Spaceship Earth also deserve a chance to live?

Unfortunately, you don’t have to look far to find modern examples of government policy makers and regulators who are failing to heed scientific warnings intended to protect the public from harm, and then struggling to cope with climate-aggravated disasters such as increasingly intense wildfires, hurricanes, heat waves, and flooding. An October 2018 United Nations report warned of dire climate consequences if the global economy is not transformed at an unprecedented speed and scale. And even that report may have understated the risk, because it ignored the possibility of runaway warming.

Icebergs ahead. There will be no shortage of icebergs to dodge in the future, both real and metaphorical. Greenland, the most likely source of the Titanic’s nemesis, is melting. And that’s just one of the many impacts of global warming—the tip of the iceberg, so to speak.

Unfortunately, as on the Titanic, government regulators and business executives today are more concerned with catering to the wealthy than with ensuring human survival. First-class passengers on the ship wore top hats, furs, and diamond necklaces to their 11-course dinners, while the poorest passengers—immigrants slated to be offloaded at Ellis Island before the ship docked in Manhattan—were relegated to the lower deck. In the movie, the fictional Jack Dawson and Rose Dewitt Bukater fell in love across the class divide, but the real ship was a microcosm of a society in which third-class passengers did not mingle with the first class.

As in 1912, “survival of the richest” still applies. Instead of pushing for action to stabilize the climate, some of the wealthiest Americans are building bunkers, hiring security guards, buying private planes, and trying to figure out how to escape the worst impacts. The only thing that has changed is that women and children no longer get the first seats on these lifeboats.

Some students of the disaster have suggested that it might have been possible for all passengers and crew aboard the Titanic to have survived, if they had immediately set about constructing rafts from furniture, doors and other ship parts, and life jackets. The ship’s baker, who survived by clinging to an overturned lifeboat, testified that he had thrown dozens of deck chairs into the ocean, hoping people could use them to stay afloat. But the water was numbingly frigid, and by that point it was too late.

[mermaidsirennikita]

What do you think of actors who defend and/or are willing to work with other actors who were accused of abuse? For example when asked about accusations around Johnny Depp Zoe Kravitz said that it's not her business and that she believes in second chances for certain people.

I’ll be real--I don’t cast too much blame on Zoe for saying that.  It’s a pretty vague statement, for one thing.  And for another, she as an actress had no control over Depp being cast in Fantastic Beasts.  I can’t really blame her for not wanting to drop out of the role because he was cast, and it would possibly hurt her career if she campaigned against him.  She would be seen by studio execs as fussy and difficult.  Zoe has privileges that a lot of black actresses do not, namely in that both of her parents are connected; but she’s still a black actress in Hollywood, and she has even less goodwill to waste than any other up and coming actress.  I can’t blame her for not actively trashing Depp, and I do think her statement was pretty vague and not a strong defense.  She signed on to the movie, and we can’t really know if Depp was cast at that point.  It’s a big opportunity, and she’s still not a big fish in the industry--and would be a smaller fish if she wasn’t Lenny and Lisa’s daughter.  Is it the best decision?  No, but I get it.  And if she’s asked about Depp, which she will be, she has to be careful.  I mean, JK Rowling, who is definitely ranking higher than Zoe in terms of decision making with that franchise, threw her weight behind Depp 100%.  I can’t blame Zoe for not wanting to anger the higher ups.

It’s a different story when someone actively pursues working with someone who is abusive, as Kate Winslet, for example, as actively pursued working with (and then defended) Woody Allen. It’s different when you call the shots and choose to work with someone or EMPLOY them, and then defend them (like JKR did with Depp).  If you just worked with someone and haven’t championed them, then later apologize after learning better (like Ellen Page did with Woody Allen) I can appreciate that on some level.  The entire industry of Hollywood is toxic, and it’s going to be hard to find someone who hasn’t worked with a shitty person.  I mean, SO MANY people worked with Harvey Weinstein without being harassed or intimidated, and I can’t say that they’re all trash when I don’t know how much THEY knew.  It’s really about how much power that person has, how much they knew, and what they did to defend or help the abusive person.

I mean, what really grinds my gears with JKR is that she’s actively aiding Depp in his comeback attempts.  It’s not just like she worked with him 10 years ago and is like, “he’s a great guy!!!”  She’s saying he’s a good person and is employing him.

(And on a sidenote, I really want to know what it is about Depp that makes these moguls so willing to fall over themselves in his defense.  It’s been ages since he’s made them money the way he once did.  He’s a mess to work with, by all accounts, and his on-set habits drive production costs up.  The last POTC movie was a shadow of the former movies not just in terms of quality but box office returns...  I just don’t g e t i t.)

[hannahindie]

Breathe - Part 4

Pairing: Dean x Reader Series Warnings: Fatal illness, character death, blood, canon violence, language, eventual smut, kidnapping. Word Count: 3,200 Square Filled: Fatal Illness Summary: Six months ago, Y/N runs into someone unexpected at the local bar while researching a case. For one night, she decides to forget and just try to be normal. Present day, Dean wants answers and Y/N isn’t sure how to explain herself. A/N: This is the fourth part of my SPN Angst Bingo Card series, hosted by @spnangstbingo. It will be seven parts, and the schedule has already been posted. It will post twice a week (Monday and Friday) until it wraps up.

It was beta’d by the ever fantastic and my writing soulmate @trexrambling: “ Don't we all. -happy sigh-”

My beautiful twinny, @pinknerdpanda: “oof...this would give me feelings to hear from the lips of Dean Winchester”

And my dear, sweet angel baby @masksandtruths: “Ughhhh. Yep I want to go cry in a corner now.”

Thanks to all three for helping a girl out so that her words make sense. I owe a lot to all of you.

As always, tags are at the bottom. If you’d like to be added, please let me know.

6 months earlier…

This bar is perfect. It's in the middle of nowhere, it's cheap, and so far not one person has tried to get my number or buy me a drink.

“Hey, sweetheart, can I buy you a drink?”

Never mind.

I take a deep breath then spin around to face the jackass that's ruining my perfect bar experience, “What makes you think-”

“Y/N?”

I should have recognized his voice, but I definitely recognize the green eyes sparkling in the dim light, his eyebrows raised in surprise as he realizes who he just tried to hit on.

“Dean?”

“Holy shit, what are you doing here?” He looks like he’s trying to decide if he should do something, like give me a hug or a hearty pat on the arm, but ends up just jamming his hands into his pockets. I give him an awkward smile.

“Working a case, what about you?” I turn back to the bar and he slides onto the stool next to me.

“We just finished one, heard there might be something over this way so we figured we'd check it out before we went home.” He waves down the bartender and orders two more beers.

“I'm not even sure it is a case. Haven't been able to find much, I'm starting to think it's a thing for the locals to handle. I figure I'll do some more research in the morning, head out of it’s nothing.” I take a swig from my beer as he waves the bartender down. “We? Sam is here too?”

“Yea, he said he wanted to research and the bar would be too loud. The campus library is open late, so he's camping out there for the night.”

We fall silent, and I wish it didn't feel so awkward. There didn't used to be this...space. Now it feels like we are on two totally different tracks, speeding along next to each other but never actually crossing paths. Not even when we are sitting mere inches apart. I won't lie; the feeling sucks.

“It's been awhile. Why haven't you called?” I look over and he's fiddling with the label on his beer, pulling it off the bottle in tiny pieces like he's always done when he's nervous.

I shrug, “It’s been busy. Phones work two ways, you know.” I’ll just leave out the whole ‘cancer takes a lot of out of you’ part, and the bit where I shouldn’t be mixing alcohol with my pain medicine.

“Fair enough.” He clears his throat, “Listen, I'm sorry. I'm sorry about everything...about Bobby, about what...what I said.” His voice is quiet, but the apology packs a punch. Dean isn’t usually one to apologize, at least not easily.

“You weren’t the only one that said shitty things, Dean. It’s not like I offered you a fresh glass of sweet tea and invited you to sit on the porch with me so we could talk about our feelings.”

He chuckles and I finish my beer, sliding it down the bar as I grab the one Dean just bought for me. “I guess that’s true.” He sighs, “What happened to us? We were...we were good, weren’t we? You, me, and Sammy...we were the best.”

I glance over and really look at him for the first time since he’s sat down. He looks tired, his face more haunted than it was the last time I saw him. He looks like he’s carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders and, considering he’s a Winchester, that’s probably not too far from the truth. He’s still handsome though; age has been kind to him. The crinkles at the corners of his eyes are more pronounced, and he looks like he hasn’t shaved in a few days. I like it, other than it hides how strong his jawline is.

“You still are.”

He smiles sadly and shakes his head, “If you knew...I’m not the best, not anymore.”

Without thinking, I put my hand on his arm and he looks up at me, “Life happened to us, Dean. And it’s not like one of the monsters that we can hunt down and destroy. Life sneaks up and picks and pulls you apart, and every once in awhile it gives you a little glimmer of hope, of what could be. If you’re lucky, the glimmer turns into something more, but for people like us...that’s all it is. A hope of what could be, not what’s going to happen. We save people, but we don’t save ourselves.”

I stare at my hand on his arm and remember what we used to be like; best friends, inseparable as soon as John put me in the backseat of the Impala. It wasn’t fair of me to blame him for Bobby’s death, but I had been angry and hurt. It never occurred to me that I wasn’t the only one that lost their father that day, not until it was too late, anyway. “You are a good man who has given up everything so that others don’t have to. I’m sorry I didn’t take the time to understand that before.”

Dean softly places his hand on top of mine and squeezes, “You’ve given up a lot, too.” He clears his throat and straightens up on the barstool, his hand moving from mine to his beer. “I think we need something a little stronger than beer. Still a whiskey girl?”

“You bet your sweet ass I am,” I respond with a smile, grateful that the familiar comfort I used to feel with Dean seems to have returned.

“D-do you remember that time we stole Bobby’s truck and went into town, I don’t even remember what we were lookin’ for, but we left and didn’t tell him?” I stumble slightly, and Dean catches my arm.

“How can you not remember what we were lookin’ for? You decided you wanted to go see Titanic, and you talked my stupid ass into it!”

I snort, “Pshtttt, you know you wanted to see some Kate Winslet boobies, don’t even pretend.”

“I had to pretend to be your brother so you could get in! Lemme just add that as much as I may have wanted to see Kate Winslet boobs, I by no means wanted to see them with you sitting next to me.”

“Listen, you loved that movie. I saw you cry.”

“Tha’s...tha’s bullshit. I don’t cry over chick flicks, ‘specially not when I’m with someone else in a public theater.” He gives his head an emphatic shake, as if that’s going to drive his point home.

“HA!” I stop and poke him in the chest, “You said ‘especially’, which means you’re not above doin’ it alone. Dean Winchester has feelings.”

“Oh, I had feelings, just wasn’t ‘bout the movie.”

“See! You have feelings, you just ad..mitt….wait, what?” My finger is still on his chest, and he smirks down at me.

“Y’heard me.” His eyes are sparkling, and the mischievous look he used to have when we were young is back. It makes him look like a kid again, and it’s enough to make me ignore how badly this could end. I forget that my decision has made this an impossibility, and I shift my hand so that it lays flat against his chest. He’s warm, God, he’s so warm and I can feel his heart beating against my palm.

“You had feelings?”

His hands land on my waist and he pulls me flush against him. I can’t tell if it’s the alcohol or his proximity, but my face feels hot as I stare up at him. “I never said they stopped.”

“Oh,” I breathe out, his words fuzzy and sharp at the same time. “I...d’ya want...I mean, my hotel room is jus’-” I don’t get a chance to finish my question because his lips are on mine and it’s like my entire brain short circuits. I would be lying if I said I never wanted to find out what this felt like. I assume any woman that looks at Dean wonders what it would be like.

I can promise you, there are no words to describe how it feels.

I can try. I can tell you that his lips are soft, softer than I could have ever imagined. He smells like gun oil and leather, with a hint of whiskey from our time at the bar. It reminds me of home, of riding in the backs of cars and learning how to fight, and how to care for people. He’s warm, even through all his layers it's radiating from him like a heater, and I can’t help but let my hands roam across his chest and down to the small of his back.

He pulls back and laughs softly and I take a moment to catch my breath. “What’s so funny?”

“I don’t think this can continue in public.” He shifts, and I am made aware as to why we should probably vacate the busy sidewalk.

“Come on, I think I can remedy that.” I grab his hand and start walking down the street again.

“Where are we going?”

“My hotel room, duh.” He laughs, and it’s like music to my ears. For the first time in a long time, everything feels...normal.

I’m not dying. We aren’t fighting monsters and evil, and we aren’t saving the world. We’re drunk, and we’re letting ourselves feel what normal people get to feel. It might just be a beautiful lie that we’re telling ourselves for this one night, but I don’t care. Because for once...for once it can just be us, and I don’t have to remember that it’s going to be short lived.

We stop in front of my motel room and I drunkenly dig through my pocket, but it’s made difficult by Dean grabbing me by the waist and pressing me against the wall next to the door.

“Dean, I appreciate the enthusiasm, but I can’t…mmmm...I can’t get to my key.” His teeth graze my throat, right at my pulse, and I nearly melt. I can feel him smiling against me and I smack his arm. “You’re a little shit, you know that?”

“Oh, I know.” He pulls back and lets me finally pull the key free, watching in amusement as I fumble it into the lock. “Know what else I know?”

I look back at him as the door swings open, “What?”

“I’m damn lucky we decided to stop in Omaha.” He picks me up and carries me into the room, slamming the door shut behind us with his foot.

He isn't the only lucky one.

Now…

It's the beeping that gets me, the incessant dinging of machines, whirring sounds and footsteps, and the never ending barrage of announcements over the intercom system that finally pulls me out of what feels like a coma. Then the smell takes over; a suffocating cloud of cleaners and sanitizers that I only ever encounter in hospitals.

My eyes slowly open to see a blurry form sitting in the chair next to me, chin against his chest as he breathes slowly in and out, the cadence making it obvious he's asleep. Sunlight is creeping through the long, vertical blinds, and the television is turned to some daytime talk show rerun.

“Oh, you're awake!” I roll my head towards the door and see a smiling nurse walk through it and watch as she checks whatever machines I'm hooked to. “You gave us all quite the scare.”

“Sorry…” I don't know what else to say.

“Aww, honey, you don't need to be sorry. I'm just glad to see you're awake. I think he will be, too. He's refused to leave this entire time. Not even the threat of a security escort seemed to phase him.”

I look back over at Dean, who's shifted enough so that his head is tilted against the back of the chair, his mouth hanging open. “That sounds about right.” I struggle to sit up more, and she hurries over.

“Here, let me give you a hand. I'm going to call your doctor, she said she needs to have a little chat with you.” Her face falls slightly as she smooths out the blanket, then she clears her throat and suddenly the smile is back, “I'll be right back.”

“Wait…”

She turns to look at me, “Yes?”

“How long have I been out?”

Her smile disappears again and a crease appears between her brows, “Four days.” She disappears around the corner quickly as if she wants to avoid any other questions and I sigh. Four days.

I grab for the remote, but for a second it's like my hands forget how to do their job, like my brain isn't connected to them, so I juggle it for a second before it slips out of my hand and hits the floor with a crash. Dean jerks upright in his chair.

“What?! What the hell?” It takes a minute for his brain to register where he is and what made the noise, and I watch his eyes come into focus as he stares at me. “You're awake.”

“Yea…” I can feel tubing pressing against my nose and I reach up to pull it off. Dean leans over and puts his hand over mine, gently pushing my hand down to the bed.

“Leave it, they just got you stable enough to use that instead of a mask.” He leans back and watches me, but stays quiet. He looks like he’s thinking about what to say; I know he has a lot of questions, and I’m afraid of what he’ll ask first. I also wonder what he already knows, and how he’s managed to get in here and stay for such an extended amount of time.

“How’d you manage to not get kicked out?”

“Told ‘em we were married, that we were on our honeymoon.”

I would laugh, but I know it’s going to hurt. Judging by the look on his face, it probably isn’t wise anyway. “What about Sam?”

“Told ‘em he lives nearby and that we were visiting him. He’s getting coffee right now.” He crosses his arms, “It was a little harder to explain all the bruises, and why you were pumped full of painkillers before you got here. And the massive amount of blood you were coughing up, see that was the hardest one, because they just assume a husband would know his wife’s medical history.”

“Well, we aren’t actually married-”

“Nope, I’m gonna stop you right there.” He leans forward, his elbows on his knees, and the look of betrayal on his face makes it incredibly hard to look him in the eye. “We are family, Y/N. I get that maybe I want more than that, and that you aren't ready for it. That's fine, but you are still my family. We are supposed to take care of each other. We’re supposed to have each other’s backs, and you lying about this...it could have gotten any of us killed. You realize this, right? I should have realized at the hotel something was wrong...I should know the difference between lipstick and blood.”

“Dean…”

“Listen, I’m not...I’m not angry. I feel like I should be, but I’m not. I just want to understand why you didn’t think you could trust me with this. Why did you not let us help you?”

“It’s difficult to explain-”

“Hello, Y/N.” I recognize the voice before I even turn to face whoever interrupted me.

“Hey, doc.”

She walks around to the end of the bed, clipboard in hand, and glances over at Dean, “This is your husband?” I swallow nervously; she knows I’m not married. It’s not been that long since I’ve seen her. The look in her eyes is a soft accusation, but when I nod in confirmation, she gives him a gentle smile. “Nice to meet you.” She looks down at the chart and when she looks back up, I can see it on her face. “I think you probably know what I’m going to tell you, but I’m guessing he’d like to know what’s going on, and I think you need to know exactly how bad this is.”

That’s the one thing about her that I like; she’s straightforward, no bullshit. She somehow knows that Dean has no idea what’s going on, and I’m simultaneously impressed and terrified. He was never supposed to know about this. I was going to go out hunter style, a blaze of bloody glory. I was alone. Why didn’t I just stay alone?

“Your cancer has spread. It’s no longer just in one lung and the lymph nodes on that side, it’s in both, which is why you began to cough up so much blood. Honestly, I’m surprised it hasn’t happened sooner. Your body is exhausted, and it’s starting to give up. Without treatment…” she trails off and looks at Dean, who looks like he’s about to be sick. “Even with treatment, it will simply be done to keep you comfortable, though it may prolong your life slightly. Without treatment, your time is very limited. I’m...I’m sorry, Y/N.”

“It’s okay. Well, it’s not okay, but...I chose this. I knew what was going to happen.”

She nods, then gently pats my blanketed leg, “I’m going to go, give you some time to decide.” She looks at Dean one last time, then walks out of the room, shutting the door behind her. I drop my head back against the pillows and close my eyes. Shit.

“Cancer?” His voice is quiet, but rough with held back tears. I squeeze my eyes shut tighter; I can’t look at him.

“Dean, I’m sorry. It wasn’t supposed to be this way. Omaha...I didn’t…”

“What are you going to do?” I look at him sharply, but he’s looking down at his hands instead of me.

“What do you mean?”

He looks up, and his eyes are even brighter from the tears he’s fighting against. It hurts more than anything else he could even say. “Are you going to do treatment, or no?”

I swallow thickly, knowing he’s not going to like the answer. I don’t like the answer, but it’s for the best. “I’m tired, Dean. I’m tired and broken, and I can’t drag this out longer. I just can’t. I don’t want to waste away in some bed somewhere, knowing that I’m just putting off the inevitable. I want to go home...I want to spend time with you and Sam, I want to save as many people as I can before it’s over. I just...I wanna go home.”

He blinks, then rubs a palm roughly against his eyes as he stands up, “Okay, well, let’s bust you out of here then. I’m gonna go talk to the nurse. I’ll...I’ll be back to get you. If Sammy comes back while I’m gone, let him know where I went.” He walks out of the room without another word.

I lay back and close my eyes, and I feel a tear roll down my cheek.

This isn’t how it’s supposed to be.

Read Part 5 HERE.

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