#can you believe it guys. christmas. just 4 weeks away.

[ididnineeleven]

sigma baby

slip a rizzler under the fein

for me

i've been a W girl

sigma baby

so speedrun down the chimney tonighttt

[autisticskeleton-s]

your ivy grows update

hello your ivy growers!! can you believe it guys? christmas! just a week away! /ref

i have not written anything lawl. i've been mostly spending time with family. i genuinely want to write a little bit but obviously i'm prioritizing my family. chapter 4 is 100% ready so MAYBE i'll post that as a christmas/first day of hannukka (hope i spelled that right im on desktop lol) gift, but no promises.

chapter 5 is ready to be beta read, but i've switched from using google docs to ellipsus so the software change is messing with my beta a little. it's also the worst time of the year to be doing literally anything lmao

thanks for your patience everyone!!! happy holidays!!!

beloved taglist <3

@fizzybugpop

@captain-solemn-titty

@thebowieconstricker

@musiclover2732

[shojislady]

2. SO SCANDALOUS

"-ess.. princess. wake up, we need to get ready. kacchans making pancakes right now."

grumbling, she turns over to look at her clock. it's 10:15am, izuku let her sleep in a bit. today, the class was going out to the mall then the arcade to have class bonding time. with everything that's gone on, from the USJ incident and the tension from the sports festival, to the fight with stain (where endeavor unfairly took credit, causing the girl to have a "slight" hatred for him), and even the final exams, having to go against All Might with Bakugo and Midoriya, it was just a lot to handle. they're just kids, and kids need breaks.

walking into the bathroom, the girl began her daily morning routine.

"damn.. i look ROUGH..!" she said as she looked in the mirror. her bonnet looked as if it was trying to run away, her tank top was all twisted up, right boob was up in russia while the left one stayed home in america. she had eye boogers all around and her angel bite piercings were no where to be found.

she slept good.

"you know what... let me just wash my face right now and i'll do everything else after i eat."

her face care routine consists of ; black african soap, witch hazel, hydration drops, and a bit of coco butter.

finishing up and putting away her stray boobs, she found one of bakugos stolen hoodies and made her way downstairs.

(i would just like to add that she sleeps in boxers so yk that ass lookin fat 😋)

"good morning guys!" she greeted everyone, with a slight smile and wave. almost everyone was up, with the exception of a few people.

"hii y/n!"

"mornin bestie!!"

"Good Morning, Y/n! Glad to see you awake!"

and so on and so forth

"mornin angel.. im making your pancakes right now, but there's bacon on the tiny burner and i made u a tiny omelette. those burner thingies really come in handy, you know?"

"its a heating tray, katsu. and yes, that's why i bought them." she bought them for holidays like christmas and american thanksgiving, but since there's 21 kids living in one dorm, it's used more than expected.

"is that my fucking hood?? i've been looking for that for weeks!" bakugo exclaimed, turning around to give the girl a plate so that she could fix her food. "when the hell did you even- whatever.. as long as i get it back."

(Spoiler Alert, he doesn't)

"erm.. anyways..! so guys, what time are we supposed to be leaving??" asked y/n, going to take a seat next to shoji.

"Well, we're trying to leave for the mall around 12:45 since it isn't far, then leave the mall no later than 4:30-5." yaomomo began to explain. "I was able to rent the arcade from 6:15 to 10:30, food and drinks included, along with lazer tag , and we get the option of going in the bounce area, so when we get there just let me know."

"damn yaomomo... i knew you was stacked but DAMN!!"

"ong, bro's LOADED.."

"i'm calling you if i need to bailed out of jail."

"honestly guys it's not much, i just want us to have fun and relax as a class while being safe!" yaomomo said with a small smile on her face. she was literally loaded, like pockets so deep they could fit 3 gallons of milk each, pockets so swole they need an ice pack, pockets so fat they need they own TLC show type rich. but even so, she didn't like to flaunt her wealth. she'd rather use her money to pay for gifts and events for her friends, rather than to flex some diamond earrings or a gold necklace. She's still a teen girl though, so she still loves to go shopping. The girl is really just happy that she's found friends that actually love her for her, and not for her money.

"you're so cute yaomomo! i love you!"

"well thank you y-"

"if anyone, i mean ANYONE fucks with you, call me. these hands are rated E for Everyone. my fists are activists. i dont care if they're old, young, tall, short, fine, ugly, gay, straight. I believe in equality, and with equality comes equally distributed ass whoopings jus-"

"OK, n/n! i think momo gets how much you love her! since you're done eating can u help me?" midoriya interrupted the girls small rant.

"you gotta face the consequences of last night huh? you should've listened to me, but yeah i'll help!"

"you dont have to rub salt on the wound!" he whined. "i'll get stuff and meet in your room again?"

"sounds like a plan, izuku!" she replied, getting up to grab her plate and bring to the kitchen.

"OoOh y/n~" jirou began to tease. "last night? your room AGAIN? what scandalous activities have you been up to?"

"chill kyo, its not like that! he messed up his hair on his own and we always hang in my room bc its more.. welcoming.. then his."

"i know, y/n! im jus messin' with ya."

with her plate in hand, y/n walked into the kitchen where bakugo resided. he was cleaning and putting away the dirty plates before he started to soak the pans.

"so, the nerd fell asleep in your room again huh?" he asked, washing a plate.

"yeah, he started to doze off a little while after you left, so he slept with me."

"i dont know why you guys dont just ask eachother out yet. you two are basically in love with eachother."

"katsuki, you know how i feel, and you know how zuku is. im pretty sure if he would act the same way with the rest of the class as he acts with us if he just trusted them more." she informed, getting ready to wash her plate before bakugo snatched it.

"don't even try it." ever since they could crawl, they've never let the girl lift a finger. hungry? chef katsuki at your service! scraped your knee? Dr.deku to the rescue! and yes, they know that she's the perfectly capable and well off to do these things on her own, but why should she when she has two men to do it for her?

"anyways. we've all known eachother since literally birth. i see things, i observe things. you two are literally inseparable. im pretty sure y'all first words were eachothers names. you know how you act around him, you see with your own two (or four) eyes the way he acts with you, and im pretty sure he peeps it too. just ask eachother out already and stop being pussies for fucks sake!"

"oh my gosh?? shut the fuck up?? you're so damn loud??" she said, slapping him in the back of his neck.

"aye. try me again and we gotta tussle. i'm not deku. i'll will beat the black off you. i strike so much fear into your melanin pigmentation that it will come to me."

"whatever katsuki, u can run me my ones later, i gotta go help zuku now."

"ight then angel, u better be ready. see ya later."

with that, she finally left the kitchen and headed towards her dorm to meet izuku.

.*•

"finally.." the boy sighed. it's now 11:45 am, and they (she) just finished detangling, moisturizing, and somewhat styling his hair. at this point, her fingers and wrists were tired, her back was aching, her feet were sore, and she had the very violent urge to go back to her black roots and pop this nigga with the comb.

"I know damn well YOU not heavy breathing like you did some work. all yo lazy ass did was sit there and watch Netflix. YOU COULDN"T EVEN HOLD THE DAMN SPRAY..."

"I'm sorry, ma. thank you so much, I should've listened to you last night. now do you already have clothes ready? or do you need to pick something out?" he asked, pulling her into a hug and rubbing her back.

".. you better be so lucky i love you. but yes, i need to pick. have u chosen?"

" yup, right before I came to wake you up. so i'll help you if you want?"

"yes please"

taglist: @ast4rg1rl

I FINALLY DID IT YALL..

and i already started the next chapter🙏🏾

well i split this chapter up into 2 to make things easier on me and y'all!!

so if its not out by next week then i'll post something embarrassing 🙏🏾

BUT ILL BE IN DUBAI FOR A WHILE SO JULY 13th IS MY DEADLINE

anywho

when i show outfits and stuff they're just there for ppl like me who can't visualize that well <3

WELL

UNTILL NEXT TIMEE

[thetriplets3]

hii for the prompts can you do “the kindest "i hate you" followed by a contagious laugh” with matt plsss??

i got carried away with this idea i don’t know if i exactly did this prompt

➶ trust in timing ➶

One thing we both agreed on when we started dating was we would keep it private just like our friendship was. None of us felt the need to share our relationship or friendship with the world. It was something special, not letting others decide things for us.

We had all taken a trip back to Boston to spend a few weeks with our families. Resting my head on your shoulder as our hands link, I look over to see both our moms laughing away in the kitchen and our dads faint voices carrying from the backyard, and Nick and Chris talking on the adjacent sofa. These are the moments I cherish, filled with normalcy and nostalgia. Summer trips to Cape Cod when we were 5, Christmas vacations to Vermont when we were 8, we’ve always been together. I guess that’s what happens when your parents have been best friends since school.

The sounds of adoration increased as our moms walked our way holding a box of photos. “Look at you guys you were so small” MaryLou said, handing us the box. “These are all of our family vacation photos, have a look through them”.

Deciding to settle down for the evening we take the box upstairs to your room. The only light illuminating your room is the subtle golden glow of your lamp. Situating myself under your arm, I open the box to be met with a picture of you holding a teddy bear and a puppy stuffed animal. My heart melts at how sweet this picture is.

“You are adorable oh my goodness! You haven’t changed. You still do those eyes” I gush.

Grabbing the next few photos I can’t seem to help tearing up. These are some of my favorite memories and I’m so glad we were able to get photos of it. Leaning my head on your shoulder and showing you the photos, a smile forms on your face.

“That was when we went to Bar Harbour for Labor Day weekend. Those flowers were your favorite thing. I remember you came in with as many as your little hands could carry and started handing one out to everyone and when you got to me you had so many left you gave them all to me. They were all yellow ones because you said they reminded you of sunshine which reminded you of me. I felt special” You reminisced.

“I can’t believe you remembered all that. You are my sunshine always will be. Always a light in everyone’s life” I look up at you with a sparkle in my eyes.

“Of course I do, I love you, I love you now and I loved you then” you say, placing a kiss on my cheek. You pull your phone out to scan the 4 photos. Confused about what you’re doing I just watched as I saw you open Instagram.

“Matt” I playfully gasp, knowing full well you wouldn’t post them.

“What? These are adorable. I want people to see them. Plus I know Nick and Chris will find you in your little florist era funny” you chuckle. “Don’t worry sweetheart, it’s a vague post. They can think what they want, it only matters if we know” you reassure me.

“I hate you” I say jokingly, knowing I could never hate you. “Looks like I’m sharing baby Matt in all his glory” I laugh.

・❥・

matthew.sturniolo

matthew.sturniolo flowers 💐

view all 3,168 comments

nicolassturniolo 🐸🪱

christophersturniolo 🌷🌺

your.insta

your.insta 📖🦕⛄️🫂

view 124 comments

matthew.sturniolo 💐💐

nicholassturniolo the snowsuits go hard

・❥・

As my eyes grow heavy I hear you whisper “I always knew it’d be you. I can’t wait to marry you and tell our kids about our story. I love you so much honey”

I’ve spent most of my life with you and I can’t wait to spend the rest of it with you by my side.

Taglist:

@im-a-matt-girl @iluvmatt @stxrniqlo @d0wnt0wnstu4n1ol0

[7grandmel]

Todays rip: 18/12/2023

Ripping Video Game Music​.​.​.​.​.​.​At Night (2020 Edition)

Season 4 Episode 2 Featured on: Neon Lights & Holiday Nights ~ The SiIvaGunner All​-​Star Winter Festival Collection

Ripped by cookiefonster (@cookiefonster)

Can you believe it guys? Christmas! Just a week away! Christmas is in a week! Oh wow!

I was really close to making this post a simple double-feature to yesterday's on Ripping Video Game Music​.​.​.​.​.​.​At Night, because, well...they're very similar to one another! I've previously only done three double features on here, one of which was on another Pokémon Gen 4 rip with The 2:28 Collab and The 2:28 Collab -The Sequel- - excellent rips absolutely, yet also specifically a situation where the latter was building quite directly off of the former. As the title here says, Ripping Video Game Music​.​.​.​.​.​.​At Night (2020 Edition) isn't as much a sequel as it is a new take on the same idea - and I find that really fascinating.

Because yeah, let's cut that part out of the equation immediately - the joke in this rip is the same as the one its directly based on, a jazzy medley of various SiIvaGunner memes within the confines and instrumentation of the original Route 216 (Night) theme. Yet its those chosen memes, and the differing context the two rips were released in, that really gets my brain spinning in listening to them. From December 16th 2016 to December 16th 2020, four entire years had passed: so much had happened to the channel in that time, yet simultaneously so much still remained. In 2016, the original rip was like a joyous celebration of SiIva's original Season 1 run, a cheerful look back before moving to new horizons with the Christmas Comeback Crisis. With Ripping Video Game Music​.​.​.​.​.​.​At Night (2020 Edition), it was released as part of the All-Star Winter Festival, an event all about celebration and joy, in a SEASON all about celebration and joy. With just that one small change, paired with the memes chosen specifically being ones that debuted or thrived during SiIva's run in 2020, the rip is given an interestingly different energy from what its originally based on. I have an emotional connection to both, yet the two feel...different, in my mind.

By the time Season 4 Episode 2 was coming to an end, the worry and confusion of 2016's end was a long-distant memory. Because of that, I feel like Ripping Video Game Music​.​.​.​.​.​.​At Night (2020 Edition) more feels like a nice little trip down memory lane, rather than reminiscing on an era long gone. For instance, The Phineas and Ferb theme song, Crank That Super Mario, Natsuiro Egao de 1, 2, Jump!, are all specifically referencing the SiIvaSummer festival from earlier in the year - another event that still carried the same festivity and fun that the channel was still under during WinterFes. Season 4 Episode 2 felt a lot more...steady, so to speak - the community and creatives at SiIva were at more of an understanding with one another than back in 2016, and rips like this feel like a sort of affirmation of the channel's new ground.

I dunno, I may just be waffling about, but...both rips do really mean a lot to me. I think it says a lot about how well SiIvaGunner works as a cohesive entity, that two very similar rips feel so different due purely to the context they were released in, the vibe and feel of following the channel back ín Season 1 compared to in Season 4 Episode 2. I really can't pick a favorite between the two - to me, they're both perfect the way they are, as sort of bus-stop checkpoints to sit idly by and reflect on the year as a Season comes to a close.

Here's hoping for another one - either this year or the next!

...oh god Season 8 is soon upon us...

[spaceorphan18]

@kurtsascot - To answer some of your questions

I realize this was for @redheadgleek but: baby got back being the plagarism scandal? or something else ?? how many episodes did they have prefilmed before a season aired??

Writing it down before I manage to forget about it. Adam wasn't cast until rather late in the game. We had spoilers for Christmas -- and there's a lot of stuff around the filming of White Christmas (Chris and Darren had film - and fans had film, and omg it was the best time.)

(Also - I'll have to do a longer post - because there was some gossipy Chris stuff going on, too.)

Anyway - fun fact: Adam's Apples was originally Paul's Peaches. And "Paul" was going to be a three episode guest star the same way Darren was contracted that way for Blaine. However, a few things happened.

RIB and Co did not get permission to use the version of Baby Got Back that they used, and it was a huge ordeal, and the show got sued (I believe) for it. And that soured people on the character -- before he really had anything to do.

Also - there was enough fan backlash, and all the stuff with Cory going on, that I'm sure they just didn't want to deal with the character, and he was kind of unceremoniously written off.

Unfortunately, the actor also gave this awkward interview where he tried to talk up how important he was and while I'm sure the guy is a nice guy, the interview didn't exactly paint him in the best light, so that didn't help.

this is all very interesting bc brody to me is sm more interesting than adam ???? like at least he has a personality other than British and Beanie.

There was a lot /a lot/ of Rachel hate in Season 4. Somewhat because Finchel was so irritating during Season 3 we were all collectively done with it. Partly because Rachel's storyline, when told week to week, is much more irritating than when you can see where it's headed when you watch it in bulk. And... at least from the Klaine side of things -- he was just another character taking up space and detracting from Kurt/Klaine/Whomever's story.

(I do feel differently about a lot of this stuff now - I'm just kind of giving insight as to what was going on back then.)

were the newbies just disliked bc they were new ? watching it this year they were just…not fleshed out and thats why a lot of them didnt stick. do u think if they were fleshed out early fandom would have received it better, or it would have mattered?

There were a lot of reasons the newbies were disliked.

-Part of it was because the Glee Project kind of shoehorned some of them in, and the cast was already bloated enough

-Part of it was because they felt like carbon copies of characters we already liked and enjoyed -- and now we can't see a lot of those characters and we have these pale in comparison copies.

-Part of it was because the marketing team was shoving them down our throats before the season started -- no joke, the season 3 dvds had a 'Jarley' featurette on it.

-Part of it was because we knew the break ups were happening, and it sucked to not only have screen time taken away from your favorites, but now they're miserable when they are on screen, so it made people feel resentful.

-Part of it was that they just weren't well drawn characters, and my god, the last thing we wanted was another love triangle.

-Part of it was because a lot of the stories they were telling had already been done.

-Part of it was because the newbies really did not interact with the old cast (in any meaningful way). Their stories were segregated, and it felt like a different show.

-Part of it was because it felt like the Newbies stories were being pushed to the forefront, and characters like Sam, Tina, and Artie were still sidelined and sacrificed (not to mention favorite characters leaving the show all together.)

-Part of it was that Season 3 had been so tiring (and was so not good -- don't let people today fool you on that) that a lot of people were just done with the whole thing.

The Season 6 newbies were much better received. Not only were they fresher characters, who didn't resemble old ones, they were integrated much better. The old cast didn't take a backseat to them, and instead they were used to further the plot of the old cast. If they had done with the Season 4 newbies what they did with the Season 6 newbies, I think they would have been better liked.

[whatupdoecourt]

have you ever been mad at God before?

i come from a very old school baptist family. “don’t question God.” i never really understood that. so i took it upon myself to research. no where in the bible does it even state that it is wrong or a sin to question God. we are flawed beings, made in the image of God. we will have questions, and plenty. Job questioned God, Abraham, and even Jesus.

God is our creator. however, we have our co-creators, our parents as well. just as we have a relationship with our parents we have one with God. i’m sure everyone has gotten angry at their parents before. maybe they wouldn’t let you go somewhere or do something that you really wanted to do. i believe this can be the same with God.

let me explain. as many may know, i lost my mother in march of 2018, 2 weeks before my birthday. my mother was first diagnosed with stage 3, almost stage 4 breast cancer in 2006. i was 9 years old and at the time my dad was in prison so it was a sensitive time for me. my family is extremely supportive and one thing we do best for sure is PRAY. together, apart, miles away, it doesn’t matter. we had “miraculous faith.” she beat cancer!

fast forward to 2016. my mommy came to me and told me something wasn’t right. you know your body, you know? i’m older now though, 20 years old. my dad has been out of prison for a while. me and my mom have been through sooo much together. i always felt like i had to be strong. it always been me and her. a team. she was my very best friend. when she told me something wasn’t right, she didn’t cry. so i didn’t either.

while on our way to the doctor’s appointment that changed our lives forever i was nervous, but y’all my faith that God would heal her was out of this world. i couldn’t fold now. the doctor that had to bare the bad news, it was his first day. i really wish i could remember all that i said to him, but it wasn’t my best moment. i wasn’t mean at all. but i began to denigrate the practice and blamed them. “why waste her time with all these tests if you guys couldn’t catch THIS?” he just looked at me with the most saddened expression. he left out and i hugged my mommy so tight. “i can’t lose you, mommy!” she hugged me so hard back and said “you won’t, baby.”

2017 my mommy had us all take christmas pictures. she knew. her health was declining, she was losing weight. i was in school, attending wayne state university. skipping class, because i wasn’t missing any of her appointments. i was my mom’s care giver. i chose to, i wanted to, i needed to. the amount of times we had to go to the emergency room. 3am, 5am, it didn’t matter the time of the day. it didn’t matter where i was or what i was doing. everything stopped for her. we became so close with the staff at the hospital because we were there so often. we had been in almost every hospital room on the oncology floor. and i stayed there with her every time. bringing a duffle to leave for work or class because i wasn’t missing anything. i couldn’t.

beginning of march 2018, we had to make a visit to the emergency room. this visit was different though. she was taking a different treatment. my mom was so perfect to me. she was such a selfless person that when her treatments were no longer working she agreed to try clinical trials to be a help to OTHERS. so this last treatment she had didn’t go so well. it was my auntie (i call her pat pat) and i with my mom this time. maybe 20 minutes into my mom’s treatment she began to act differently. she was sooo out of it, you guys. she forgot who i was for a moment. that broke me. but i didn’t have time to be sad. i had to take care of my mom. my aunt went back home for a moment, and it was just my mom and i in the emergency. my mom is admitted of course. i’m there by her side, not leaving her for a second. she’s back to herself and i told her everything that happened and how she lost her memory. my mom began to thank me, “i don’t know how i’ll ever repay you, courtney.” i told her i’d do it over and over again if i was given the chance. in every lifetime.

we then go back home. and she began to break down for the first time ever. she told me that she couldn’t keep doing this to me and that she didn’t want to take the treatment anymore. i didn’t want her to take the treatment either. but i wasn’t giving up. i still knew that she could be healed. i began to look up herbs that could cure cancer and that could potentially get her to great health. i was so desperate i contacted a cancer research facility in arizona. (CTCA)

my family came from all different states and stayed with us to help. first it was my auntie bev, she came from atlanta, ga. she came home pretty often to help. i don’t think she knew exactly what to expect this time though. then it was my great uncle, my uncle jr (lou lou’s brother) he came from bainbridge ga, and packed enough clothes to stay a month. i’m forever grateful. they literally put their life on hold and said they’d stay for as long as we needed them.

my mom began to go out of it again. this time she had an appointment with her oncologist. me, my mom, lou lou, and my aunt bev all drove to the appointment. “i would consider starting at home hospice care.” that did it for me. for the first time in a long time, i lost it. i couldn’t be strong anymore. i ran out of the room, as my family kept yelling after me i just ran. didn’t even know where i was running to. mind you, i’m in the hospital. people were trying to stop me, asking me if i was okay, but i didn’t stop running until i hit a dead end. i remember calling one of my best friends, jay. i just called her crying she couldn’t even understand me.

this is where things started to set in for me. i started to feel so silly. silly for being so delusional. if i had been more realistic maybe i could’ve prepared myself better. i remember driving home after that appointment and driving so insane LOL. but my aunt and grandma didn’t say anything to me, even though they maybe should’ve 💀

things happened very fast. since i am my mom’s only child and like i said before my mom and i, we were a team. if she didn’t get it done, i did, and vice versa. so this entire process was all handled by me. not because i didn’t have the support, i think my family just knew that i wouldn’t let them step in too much anyway. hospice came out, and i had to sign papers basically signing my mother’s life away. what a feeling. indescribable.

my mommy began to sleep a lot. not talking at all. i liked to sit with her a lot in her room. to cry, talk, lay with her, kiss her, whatever i felt like i needed to do because i just wasn’t ready to let her go. one day in particular, i was crying so hard so so hard. “why are you crying?” i looked up at her and said “because i love you so much.” “i love you too, baby.” those were the first and last words i heard her speak for a while.

my mom wasn’t on hospice long. my family all came over one day and while some were leaving out that night, you could hear her force herself to say “love you guys.” my mommy was a fighter. next morning on march 15th 2018, my aunt called me down because my mom’s eyes were opened. i saw my grandfather (my mom’s father/ lou lou’s husband) pass before and i know what that expression looks like. i was listening to my mom take her last breath. i went into another room and just cried. “she promised she wouldn’t leave me” that’s all i kept saying as my pat pat held me while i cried.

i have asthma but it’s pretty controlled i haven’t had an asthma attack since i was very little. i had 2 that day, on top off multiple panic attacks, a lot of that day is blocked out. i laid with my mommy until the funeral home came and picked up her body. i laid with her so long, i could feel the rigor mortis start to set in. my dad had to pry me off of her when they came. i could hear my nails scraping the walls while being carried away. mistakenly grabbing onto the nurses shirt while trying to get back to my mommy. locking eyes with the her and even seeing her cry confirming that i wasn’t dreaming.

the funeral planning started. now sometimes trauma can very very tricky. i knew that i was planning a funeral, i knew it was for my mommy, but it was distracting me for what it was REALLY for if that makes sense. i was keeping myself busy. making sure everything was perfect for her last event on this earth. my mom, lou lou, and i attended (i still do) triumph church. so of course that’s where my mommy’s home-going had to be. pastor kinloch and first lady have always been so kind to us and they were very supportive through this process as well.

i was so distracted by planning the funeral and i wanted it to be that way, so i wouldn’t be so sad. but i was also suppressing a lot while doing so. this caused me to act out in other ways. i walked out of the church meeting room crying because i wanted the funeral at a different location. (drama) argued with the funeral director for no real reason. (DRAMAAA)

the day came where me and lou lou went to view my mother’s body. my mommy didn’t really wear makeup and she had a beauty mark, a mole right on the tip of her nose. i wiped the makeup off of her nose and everything else was perfect. the day of the viewing, i was overwhelmed with love. so many people came out. so many that i didn’t expect to. this meant sooo much to my family and i. i can’t even put it into words.

i dressed my mommy and i in the same shirt for her funeral. hers white, mine black. that day was such a blur to me. recently, i watched lauren london on a podcast, talking about grief. she mentioned how sitting in that front row of a funeral is really a whole different experience. bizarre. there were so many people there to pay their respects. so many friends and family coming to support. i still cry thinking about it. i am truly forever grateful.

when everyone went home, when my “job” was done. i was left to think. i took a hiatus from work and school to take care of my mommy so i really had nothing to do, but to think. that’s when the anger set in. i felt betrayed. had i not been faithful? deserving? if not me, my mom for sure had been. so why weren’t my prayers answered? hadn’t i already been through so much at my young age? how much stronger did i need to be?

i began to pull away from God. i wasn’t praying as much. i shut God out of my life. i was angry. i knew what i was doing, but i didn’t care because i was hurt. as my family would say “BUT GOD.” God’s grace never left me. so to answer my own question, yes. i have been mad at God before. but like my grandmother told me, “you can be mad, just don’t be mad too long.”

[elune-shatterstone]

I'M CRYING OVER MY POPTARTS RN

This reminds me of what I was going through a bit more than a year ago. It all started a few weeks before Christmas, when my Mom was thinking of getting a "Family Dog". She found a Husky puppy, and then we went and got her. She was so energetic, and happy. After we got home, my Mom surprised me by saying that the dog was, infact, an early Christmas present for me! I wasn't sure how I felt about it, but I was sure I'd be so much happier once I got used to it. Maybe the dog would help with my anxiety.

I was wrong.

She had some really bad poops. Terribly runny, they were basically liquid. We figured after she got used to the home she'd harden up again. It didn't work. We tried a new diet for her. Didn't work. We bought steam cleaners, Rug Doctors, and carpet scrubbing brushes. This I could've put up with.

Then there was the land lady. She had no idea about the poop problem, but she just had a vendetta against the dog. She constantly reminded us she didn't like "big dogs" and wanted us to get rid of her. She even threatened to get the pound to take her. This I could've put up with too.

But then there was the screaming. Mom told me that since she was a husky she'd scream, and honestly I didn't mind it. Everyone else, on the other hand, couldn't stand it. I was constantly in trouble because I couldn't get her to be quiet. At night she kept everyone but me awake. We resorted to covering her cage with a blanket. She'd tear our blankets to shreds though. (She was in a cage because otherwise she would bite us in our sleep and chew the wall)

I was the only one who was trying to do anything. I'd get up at 4 in the morning to go put her outside. I'd cook her food hoping her poops would get better. I scrubbed every floor in this house. I constantly tried reasoning with the land lady. I'm the only one who was punished because she wouldn't be quiet. By the end of it, I felt so worthless because I couldn't control even one dog by myself, I even considered self-unalivement. I tried asking for help, but I was turned away every time. My parents didn't care I was struggling.

Eventually, I had to lie to my Mom. I told her that she reminded me if my previous dog who'd been gone for 2+ years,(I honestly wasn't sad about him, he was in heaven and I knew that) and that I was experiencing trauma from that. Finally! Something she believed! Something she could somehow comprehend. It still took us 3 months to find her a better home, but during that time I started actually getting support. I wasn't the only one scrubbing the floors anymore, consoling her at night, and taking her outside.

We finally found her a good home, with a guy that had other huskys and knew how to handle her. She's much happier now, but I can't bear to visit her. I feel ashamed for falling into a depression while she was around. I felt worthless because I wasn't competent enough to take care of a dog. I couldn't stand the fact that I once thought of abusing her to get her to be quiet. It still took me the rest of the year to actually get over that phase of depression, and I still never really got actual help with that. To this day my mom still thinks I was traumatized by my former dog's death and believes nothing else was going on.

I wonder how it would've been if I'd have gotten the support I needed at that time. I just needed maybe one adult to recognize what I was actually going through and maybe I would've been fine.

Nowadays I am actually much better, I have a cat that I'm capable of taking care of and I don't think about self-unalivement anymore. But yeah. I'm sorry for what I put you through Kiana, I just hope you can forgive me.

consider: teenagers aren’t apathetic about everything they’re just used to you shitting all over whatever they show excitement about

[mostly-potato]

Electricity: Six Quick Memories of the Avalanches

(1) I am literally a small child, visiting my super cool auntie in Long Beach. We go to the record store Fingerprints to buy a special sheet of stickers. My favorite one is a photo of a turtle with an old man’s face on it. Yen loves this band and promises to burn me a CD. 

(2) Anthony and I are on the phone talking about his first few weeks at college. He met a guy, Jake the DJ, and they bonded over the album Since I Left You. Instead of being excited that our shared world is expanding and I already have things in common with his new friends, I feel sour and petty. He’s taking my gift to him and sharing it with someone else. I feel so left behind at home. 

(3) Halloween 2011 at UCSC! I’ve just broken up with my ex-boyfriend again. I’m wearing my most creative costume to date (Bumble, the Abominable Snowmonster of the North). My new friend Eliza and I are running around the dorms. We’re looking for drinks and neat places to hang. We walk into the room of a guy dressed as an eerily accurate version of Heath Ledger’s Joker. He’s got weird vibes, but I look past it. He’s playing “Since I Left You.” It’s going to be okay. 

(4) I’ve got a huge grin on my face as Lola opens her Christmas present. Two tickets and a camping pass for Coachella! I know I swore it off forever, but the Avalanches are on the lineup and I just think it’d be so special if we--wait, what’s wrong? Oh, you just booked a trip to Ireland with Elaine during that weekend. Huh, okay. I hope you have fun. No, it’s all good. I’m sure I can sell these. 

(5) Elvid and I are at the Fonda in Hollywood. This it is not-at-all a consolation prize for my failed desert surprise. Everything about this evening has been juuust okay (traffic on the drive, dinner at Roscoe’s, people squawking next to us) but all that meh melts away when I hear those soft wailing sounds. It’s “Electricity” and it’s all for me.

(6) The audio is wrong. Sleepy Man doesn’t believe me, but I insist his iPod’s version of “Frontier Psychiatrist” is wrong. The radio announcer’s voice is too loud, not crunchy enough. He says it’s fine, slightly annoyed that I dare to question his knowledge of musica obscura. I can’t stop. It’s not about being right. It’s about truth. It’s about having a grip on reality and control over your perceptions. Do I need therapy? Psychosomatic? He looks it up and sheepishly concedes “Yeah, this is a different version.”

[whereareroo]

THANK YOU, POPE FRANCIS

WF THOUGHTS (12/18/23).

I’m a realist. I know that you guys don’t believe me when I drop the names of my famous readers. After today, maybe you’ll change your tune.

In the past, I’ve noted that Pope Francis is a regular reader. I’m a big Francis fan.

A few weeks ago, on December 5th, I wrote a nice piece about Pope Francis. I applauded the fact that, even though it’s an uphill battle, he’s pushing progressive ideas and moving the Church into the modern world.

I made particular note of the Pope’s openness towards the LGBTQ community. I mentioned several steps that the Pope has taken to create a more welcoming atmosphere within the Church. I told you about the Pope’s recent letter to the Cardinals which declared that the Church must move towards acceptance of “forms of blessings” for same-sex unions.

Soon after December 5th, the Pope called me. We discussed my recent post. The Pope said he was pleased that I was also trying to move the traditionalists in the right direction. I told the Pope that he was too focused on incrementalism and that most Catholics would happily accept bigger changes within the Church. We had a good talk.

Our chat seems to have done the trick. The Pope just made a really, really big announcement. Priests are now allowed to bless same-sex’s couples! This is a monumental step forward for the Church. Go Francis!

Pope Francis has a way with words. He knows how to talk to people. He keeps it simple. The announcement included these six golden nuggets:

1. People seeking a blessing should not have to endure “an exhaustive moral analysis.”

2. Blessings should not be reserved for those who claim “moral perfection.” (Francis frequently reminds us that nobody is perfect. He prefers to focus on the fact that, for a multitude of reasons, we’re all imperfect “Children of God.”)

3. “The grace of God works in the lives of all people.”

4. A means to increase their trust in God, “must be nurtured, not hindered.”

5. The Pope indicated he was making this change to highlight “the Church’s closeness to people in every situation in which they might seek God’s help through a simple blessing.”

6. All in all, the Pope is just a big believer of blessings for everyone. He said, “The world needs blessings, and we can give blessings and receive blessings.” It’s that simple.

Let me make one thing perfectly clear. This announcement does not change the Church’s traditional stance on marriage, and the Catholic sacrament of marriage is still only available to heterosexual couples. At least for now, I’m fine with that.

This announcement is an absolute Christmas Miracle. It is a huge change. I thought we were at least five years away from this day. I’m thrilled that this blog played a small role in this Christmas Miracle.

Please send a Christmas Card to the Pope, and include a personal note thanking him for this wonderful announcement. Here’s his address:

His Holiness Pope Francis

Casa Santa Maria

00120 Vatican City

[archiemills10]

Thank you, Steve

Thank you, Steve.

Thanks for that night at Ashton Gate, thanks for the Play-off semi finals, thank you for Wembley and thank you for every home game last season.

Without you, those games, those scenarios would not have been possible, but you had this clever way of installing a belief, a unity, that ran throughout Nottingham Forest from the players to the fans. You gave us some of our happiest days and for that, Steve Cooper will forever be a legend in Nottingham. 

It says a lot about the man Cooper is that he has relentlessly had his name chanted by Nottingham Forest fans when the team has been 4-0 down away to rivals Leicester, in dire straights away to Aston Villa having not won for two months and again this season despite being 5-0 to Fulham with the writing seemingly on the wall. His connection to the supporters was unbreaking and he earned every last cheer he got. 

His time in charge of the Reds will go hand in hand with some of the best memories Forest fans will have ever experienced in their time supporting the club. For those who never got to experience the heady days of the Brian Clough era, this was the next best thing. 

Here was a man who made it his mission to restore a bit of hope to the club, a club which in truth before he turned up, had lost that loving feeling. 

Arriving on Trentside following our worst start to a Championship season with the club bottom of the table and the fans seemingly resigned to another year in the second tier at best. There was no real furore about his appointment - we knew what he had accomplished with Swansea, especially given it was his side that pipped Forest to the Play-offs a season prior, but there was largely little buzz given the fact that we had seen every single type of manager come through the doors in the past ten years, former club legends, unknown foreigners, experienced Championship pros who know how to get promoted, we had seen them all. Cooper was expected to be the next to try his hand and fail.

Something was different this time around, however. Maybe it wasn't the most obvious pairing but what happened next will go down in folklore. 

Firstly, there was the matter of restoring pride in the side, giving the ability for supporters to get behind a team they believed in and could be excited about. 

My first week as a university student in London coincided with Cooper’s appointment as Forest boss. Studying at a sports university, when I met my flatmates for the first time, the topic of who we supported was an obvious one. You can imagine the obvious answers I got from these people therefore, when replied with Forest.

“Rough start to the season for you guys.”

“Why do you support them then?”

Five out of the seven in the flat supported teams from the ‘big six’, and so, every weekend, it would be one of their games on the TV in the kitchen with only passing comments from them asking how we got on that weekend. 

I can't recall ever watching a Forest game together as a flat early on, not before Christmas at least and even then, it was only our FA Cup games against Arsenal and Liverpool that they ever paid any real attention to.

What I associate my first year of university with most, however, is the journey we went on. 

We got better and better each week (minus a few odd blips) and I remember getting to the point where I felt able enough to brag to my other flatmates about how well we were doing. By the time we made the Play-Offs, I sat them down, all weary eyed after our plane had only just got back from Italy and I made them watch the Sheffield Utd game. I wanted them to experience what Steve Cooper had given me and so many others that season.  

My flatmates may not have cared, they still don’t, but for the first time, it gave me something to be proud about. 

I had got to love and support Forest through my dad, a fan since the 70s who had developed into one of the most cynical supporters I knew. At the first sight of issues, he lost belief - this must have come from seeing the struggles we had been in since the turn of the century - a misery we’d shared since 2010. 

I think this was symptomatic of most Forest fans throughout this period. They would fool themselves into believing this could be the year, yet after several poor results in games we could have won, as well as the inevitable Christmas collapse (a yearly event), all that goodwill and hope would be gone. January would arrive, a new manager would be in place and the rest of the campaign would be about making sure we didn't embarrass ourselves. 

Steve Cooper did what none of the recent previous managers did, he changed how my dad and so many others viewed the club. 

There may have been a few bumps in the road, however, we never lost faith in what this brilliant, clever man had created - a team and a club with a positive, forward-thinking mentality. 

He changed our track record in the league, something that appeared to be an impossible task for so many before him.

I remember the first time I properly believed we would get promoted, Blackburn away at Ewood Park in February 2022. Blackburn were above us in the league, challenging for automatic promotion, however, I felt as though we were a much better side. Normally therefore, facing teams I felt we should beat would normally result in the exact opposite occurring, however, Forest put in a composed performance to win 2-0, leaving me with little doubt that we were in the hunt. 

Cooper made the team believe, he made the city of Nottingham believe. He also made sure we didn’t kid ourselves. We deserved to be there in his eyes, but he would never let us get ahead of ourselves, that part was key. Celebrating what we were achieving under his guidance therefore, felt necessary. The fistpumps, Forza Garibaldi and Depeche Mode - all of these things seemingly were now part of the fortnightly sensation at the City Ground with Cooper as the ringmaster. 

When we reached the promised land of the Premier League, following 23 years desperate to return, things were naturally harder as they always are for a promoted side. Not every game will be a victory, there will be moments when you contemplate whether we’re good enough, however, it’s important that you keep believing, keep the faith in the team and with Steve Cooper at the helm, it always felt like the captain of the ship had it under control. 

Let’s not kid ourselves, last season could have been very different. After signing nigh on 30 players, we had an entirely new team, players we’d have to grow to love, especially after losing the bulk of our promotion-winning side in the same window. At certain points in the season, fans would find themselves comparing the two sides, often feeling our Championship side would have done better, however, by the end, after we grinded out survival, the fans grew to love that group because they cared about the club - something I am in no doubt Steve Cooper drilled into them. 

Cooper got this club, he understood what being in the Premier League meant to the fans. His time charge allowed us to dream, have those dreams become a reality and then dream even higher. 

His place in Forest history will forever be cemented, with younger fans today likely to hark back to the 21/22 and 22/23 seasons in the years to come. For them, these are the glory years. They might not be quite the same as the success under Brian Clough, but they do now have a hero of their own, the man who galvanised their club in a job many thought to be impossible.

So thank you, Steve, forever leader of the Garibaldi.

[dailyaudiobiblechronological]

12/15/2023 DAB Chronological Transcription

Colossians 1-4

Welcome to Daily Audio Bible Chronological. Today is the 15th day of December, exactly 10 days away from Christmas. Not to bring anybody panic there, just a little bit of perspective of where we're at in the calendar year. Today we're beginning a brand new book of the Bible, Colossians chapter 1 through 4. This week we're reading The Voice translation. So let's jump in, Colossians chapter 4. 

Commentary:

We started the book of Colossians today and we ended the book of Colossians today. And you may have noticed that some of the wording feels very similar to some of the other letters that we have read from Paul to some of the other churches. Maybe we can gather from these letters how sideways the message of the Gospel that was new like very much in its infancy state got to be. And so the letters of correction that Paul is sending out is like wait, hold up just a second, that is not what was taught. And the importance of correction that anything that is not the pure gospel could be labeled heresy. The problem that we may have today is that the actual gospel sometimes gets labeled heresy and a different variation is taught, sold and retold. But this is not a new thing for us, this has always been just as we're reading in the Bible the translated manuscript of the beginning of Jesus and the church that Paul was establishing. And so we hold onto that understanding today that while we may see, or may not see this happening. Today this has always been. This is why throughout the whole entire Bible from the Old Testament to the New Testament, we see the phrase give us eyes to see and ears to hear cuz we can be looking right at something and totally miss it. We can hear the truth and retranslate it completely different with that understanding. 

Prayer:

Jesus thank you for being with us here today. Very simple again today, give us eyes to see, ears to hear, hearts to receive all that you would do, say and speak to us. Transform us from the inside out. I pray in the name of the Father, the Son, the Holy Spirit. Amen.

Announcements: 

Daily Audio Bible. That's home base guys. Check it out, take a look around. There is a store there. If you have never encountered the store, lots of resources designed to enhance your journey through the Bible, or you can give mobile device- look for the give icon at the website. If you need prayer, if you'd like to pray for someone that's previously called in, several different ways for you to do so 800-583-2164 or once again utilizing that app hit the red circle button up at the top right hand corner, hit chronological and we'll get off to the right place. Love one another. 

Community Prayer Line:

...Ohio and this morning I would just like to reach out to the DABC family and give you some names of people that I believe the Lord wants us to pray for who have recently either accepted Jesus as their savior, or the seeds of his salvation. Rachel says and allow the saints to pray for these people as they begin their journeys with Jesus. The names are Jessica, Dave, Destiny, Keith, Danielle, Rick, Jalen, Ariel, Amber, Megan, Amanda, Barb, Mike, Hayden, Anthony, William, Travis, Danny, Virginia and Junior. And I just pray right now Lord Jesus for each individual mentioned, that their faith and the seeds of your salvation would just be started as their journey with you begins. And we lift them up to you Lord. And I also want to lift up Andrea who I met at a Christmas event who has got two children of her own, but she also takes care of four of her sister's children. And her sister committed suicide 9 years ago and she had a very happy heart that day so I pray for Andrea and ask that you pray for her, too. I love you guys all so very much and I'm so thankful for each of you. 

Hi DABC it's Emmy from Illinois calling in with a praise report- my daughter had her follow-up appointment with the Pediatric Cardiologist and he let us know that what she has is so minimal that under normal circumstances there never would have been anything that would have triggered a health scare or anything for us to have needed to discover this except for the fact that she has what's called the silent murmur which is just an innocent noise. And while young kids so all that combined she's good to go. Her heart is functioning at completely normal capacity and we're just going to do a follow-up in 2 to 3 years just as a precaution. But he said he if he were a betting man he would he would bet that it'll be closed up because that's that's just what we- because we already know it's there it's better to just follow up but most likely her heart will grow and close it which is what this spot is designed to do- is to close as it grows as opposed to getting bigger so we should be all set and we don't have to do anything else with her for two or three years. And even then if it doesn't happen it's not a big deal. If you could just continue to pray for my marriage just so we can figure things out. I haven't brought anything up so I don't know what to do if you could just continue. I see what I should do. I would appreciate it. Thank you. 

...from Pennsylvania yet calling in with a prayer request for my mother. She had a biopsy and the diagnosis at this point is angiosarcoma which is a rare form of cancer which tends to be pretty aggressive. They have sent the biopsy and tissue for further examination at the Mayo Clinic but that will take a few weeks to hear. So  just prayers for peace moving forward and for healing whatever she is facing. Again this is Unashamed from Pennsylvania. Just asking for healing for my mother's breast cancer. Thanks so much and Merry Christmas to you.

[iriswashere]

Can you believe it guys? Christmas, just a week 4 days away. Christmas is in a week 4 days! Woohoo! I am so happy about this information. Christmas! Just a week 4 days away, oh wow. Can you believe it? Christmas! Just in a week 4 days! It got here so fast! Christmas! Just a week away 4 days!

christmas is in 4 days

december started 3 days ago

2023 started one month ago

what the fuck happened????

[brokenstrings]

Yo could I request breakup headcannons with jinx, Vi, Caitlyn and Viktor where their s/o breaks up with them.

Don’t feel like u have to answer if your too busy :)

:rolling over to you in my blanket burrito: tysm for this i was bored hhhh

oh btw can you believe it guys christmas just in two days christmas is in two days woohoo i am so happy about this information /ref

on christmas eve and christmas i’ll try to write something winter themed if i remember to 😭

Jinx, Vi, Caitlyn and Viktor when their s/o suggests they should break up

Jinx

She gets super attached super easily so even if it was for about a week she’ll be super sad when you suggest this

Even if it’s ’lets just be friends’ which is my favorite vocaloid song /j she’ll be really shocked and by this

”Wh- You wanna… Break up with me?”

The voices get really loud, she can’t even attempt to block them out;

”It’s your fault. They hate you. They lied to you. You’re a failure.”

”No no no I’m not, I’m sure it’s not just me shut up shut up SHUT UP!!”

She tries her absolute best to get you to stay, shes crying and grabbing your hand, yelling and pleading

“Please bubs, you’re all I have left… PLEASE!!”

If her convincing works and you decide to stay in a relationship she sits you down with you and talks about if she did anything wrong and how she should change

If it doesn’t work, there’s only a 3/10 chance you’ll be able to salvage a friendship from it, to her; you left her, she trusted you, you broke it

Vi

She loved you a lot, she was the one that suggested a relationship, once you tell her it’ll hurt but she gets it

”Oh… Well yeah, we can split up, can we please stay in touch though?”

She doesn’t want to lose you 100% but she’s okay with just being friends, she has a replacement cupcake afterall :I am pointing at caitlyn: /j

If you do end up wanting to leave her 100% she’ll let you it’s just…

You took away around 4 years of her life and gave her about 5 1/2 grey hairs /hj

Shes emotionally fucked up by you leaving her 100% but if it’s just be friends its only 35%

Vi doesn’t quickly rebound afterward, it takes her about a month to actually get over you then ofc she has to find another cupcake :squeezing caitlyn and she squeaks like a dog toy: like that one /j

She wants to know what she should refrain from doing when you’re friends, wanting to keep you comfortable

”So is there some things I should stop while we’re friends?”

”Excuse me ’while?’”

“Yeah 👦👍”

She still calls you cupcake, she doesn’t care about that unless you say

“Vi istg if you don’t Q U I T T H A T.”

Caitlyn

:i am looking at episode 8: HAHAHAHAHA #SMILETHRUDAPAIN

If it’s a let’s just be friends situation that’s completely different but AHAHAHAH-

If you pull a “oil and water 💔⛓🥀 we r not meant to be cupcakke 😢😔” (im so sorry for this one sentence) she’s devastated

Dude she takes like a whole year to recover it hurt her so badly

Listens to sad Adele, Taylor Swift, and Mitski songs in the shower to cope with it

If it’s just be friends she ju- why is little miss perfect playing which one of you /hj

She thinks of all the memories she has of the relationship and tries to think of things she did wrong, she thinks it’s all her fault

She’s happy to be your friend and is happy you didn’t abandon her though;

”You’d like to just be friends? That’s… Yeah that’s okay, I’m sorry if I did anything to make you really uncomfortable, I swear I’ll be more careful in the future.”

She passively tries to get you two back into a relationship sometimes, like passive flirting

Like one day you’re talking abt your favorite Taylor Swift song or sm idfk and she says

”I‘d like to say that you remind me of last great American dynasty or the 1 maybe?”

”The 1?”

”…Yes.”

If that works she is so proud of herself for that

If it doesn’t end up working and she has to rebound it takes her so long

You’ve already had 2 different partners and then she finally comes up like

“Hey this is my new gf Vi” /hj

Viktor

Man I don’t wanna see him sad :sits link shinji from that one scene of evangelion: /jov

He’s hurt, even if it’s “Wanna just be friends?” He needs some time to process it

”Excuse me? Uhm… I- Heh…”

Once he’s collected he‘ll try to hold back any negative emotion, not wanting to make you feel bad for this

”I see why you want to and I’m fully fine if we separate.”

The second he leaves the room and is alone he’s sobbing to himself

”I can’t have one thing go right with other people can I?! Why me?!” He’s whispering stuff like that to himself, he’s a mess

After about a week or two of being split up he’s more comfortable around you, he just needed some time to recover from the breakup

During his time of being more comfortable, he’ll sit down with you and discuss why you think the relationship wasn’t going good

”So why did you break up with me? I’m sorry this is awkward but I’ve been wondering it, I didn’t see many problems while we were together.”

Once you explain he agrees it’s better if you stayed separated for the time being

He has no interest in rebounding unless the other person initiates it, meaning he might not get a partner at all afterwards

mmm we r loving the angst

THE STARY OF CAITS IS SO FUNNY IM SO SORRY,,,,, SAME WITH SOME PARTS OF VI’S IM TIRED IDK

[lxvislxdy]

Imagine Bakugou x stoner!reader

So... maybe I got carried away, and maybe this turned into more of just you and the bakusquad being besties, but I literally love this concept and will 100% be writing more.

Warning(s): obvious mentions of drug use, and some language. All characters are 18+.

So, let’s say, just for the hell of it, that this is a quirkless!college!au 

just imagine...

- you befriend Sero and Denki first, meeting them in a class, and they love you right off the bat

- you’re personality just meshes so well with theirs, you become bffs almost instantly

- the three of you raise hell in that class, I’m convinced, like RIP to whoever sits near you goofs

- you slowly start to hang out outside of class. maybe it starts as a study sesh, but let’s be honest here. the three of you can’t focus to save your life, and eventually Sero asks if you guys wanna smoke

- and, to their complete surprise, you outsmoke them (Denki later bows down to you, literally, and proposes to you with a ring pop. he’s such a dork I love him)

- this becomes a weekly thing, as it should, and the three of you are practically attached at the hip

- your favorite part of hanging with them is, of course, all their crazy stories about their friends

- so of course they want to introduce you to the bakusquad, and you are just as eager to meet the rest of the group, if not a little nervous

- Denki and Sero assure you they’ll love you (”c’mon, you’re just like us, they’ll adore you!!!”) and they take you out to lunch with Mina and Kirishima

- now, if you thought you, Denki, and Sero was a chaotic trio, just wait until you add Mina to the equation

- Kirishima lives for the chaos and thinks you’re adorable, but the guy has his hands full keeping the four of you out of trouble, that’s for sure

- (when Bakugou’s not around, Kirishima is in charge of the braincell, I don’t make the rules)

- Mina immediately kidnaps you for a girls night, and is ecstatic about having a girl to hang out with her and the boys 

- (SIDE NOTE, Mina introduces you to Jirou, and the three of you are THE baddest bitches around, thank you. the three of you definitely have girl nights and either kick the boys out, or force them to join, face masks and all)

- anyway, you finally get the opportunity to meet Bakugou

- and, as always, he’s in a sour mood. but! you don’t let his grumpiness upset you, in fact, you take it in stride and throw his attitude right back at him

- you aren’t mean, and you certainly aren’t going out of your way to bug him, but if Bakugou makes a snide comment? you better believe you’re throwing one right back at him

- and at first, Bakugou is annoyed, and thinks you’re mocking him. like, who do you think you are? 

- but the more he gets to know you, he realizes that you’re way too sweet to be that mean. you fit right in with the idiots he’s friends with.

- and, to be honest, it drives him nuts. because he likes you. he likes you, and he likes when you snap back at him, and he likes watching you goof off and laugh with his friends

- in true Bakugou fashion, though, you’re convinced he hates you. it’s just the icing on top of the cake when one night you notice that every time you’re there, and Sero lights up, Bakugou disappears 

- when you finally tell Mina this, she laughs. actually laughs! and you’re just like ....what?

- turns out, Bakugou hardly ever smokes with them, and he’s just like that. 

“Trust me, babe,” Mina tells you, “It’s not you. Bakugou just doesn’t know how to relax, he’s got a terrible case of trust issues and a bad attitude to top it off. But he likes you, trust me! He’ll come around.”

- you weren’t so sure about that, but you take her word for it. 

- and then, one night it’s just you, Denki, Mina, and Bakugou, and he stays!

“Someone with a brain has to make sure you idiots don’t do something stupid.” He says, when you ask.

- that night ends up being one of the funniest nights of your life. the three of you are high as a kite, and everything is funny. seriously, you can’t stop laughing!

- then, you find out Bakugou’s birthday is on 4/20, and you have never been so excited in your life (so you say). it’s the funniest, most ironic thing to you

- you go up to Bakugou, grabbing both his arms by the biceps, and are going on and on about it, bouncing on the balls of your feet and giggling, and Bakugou just listens to you talk and he blushes 

- you’re adorable, and he can’t lie to himself anymore, he likes you. he really likes you. and this realization really freaks him out (he calls Kirishima later that night absolutely freaking out, and he has to totally calm him down. Kiri ships it)

- over the next month or two, he tries his best to not give himself away, but it’s so hard. 

- he starts sticking around when everyone smokes together, and sitting next to you during movie nights (because you always fall asleep, and theres a good 80% chance you end up leaning on his shoulder), and he offers to help when you complain about a class you’re struggling with

- and it all comes to a head one night when he gets jealous. 

- he was definitely reading too much into things, but he swears you’re acting clingy with Sero, leaning on his shoulder, and grabbing his arm when you laugh, and playing with his hair. he definitely has himself convinced Sero is making a move on you, and he’s pissed.

- at some point during the hangout, he gets up and storms out of the room, and no one really notices but you and Kiri. after a minute or two you’re curiosity gets the best of you, so you go after him

- he’s in the kitchen, glaring at this plant Denki and Sero have (that is totally, 100% dying, and probably can’t be saved) and he’s pouting

“I don’t think staring at it is gonna bring it back to life.” You say, and he just looks at you weird and asks what you want

- you say you’re just checking on him, and he asks why you care. and you’re just like dude ??? i care about you? hello? we’re friends ??

- and Bakugou, being himself, snaps at you and makes some kind of rude comment

- so you snap back, offended because you’d just wanted to check on him

- and halfway through you telling him what a jerk he is, he kisses you

- he kisses you like his life depends on it, because he’s still pissed off about Sero and, come on, Bakugou Katsuki doesn’t do anything halfway

- and maybe the two of you make out in the kitchen for way longer than you want to admit

- and maybe you laugh and call him an idiot when he tells you he was jealous of Sero

- and maybe Denki catches the two of you, and screams like a little girl on christmas morning

- cue protective Denki and Sero telling Bakugou he better not EVER hurt you... and then crying happy tears a minute later because you’re so cute together

- after that, Bakugou is literally never seen without you by his side. he walks you to class, cooks you dinner at least once a week, helps you study and takes you out every time you ace a test. this man knows your coffee order, and has your schedule memorized, it’s impressive 

- god forbid he see’s you eating junk food

- listen, he knows how Denki and Sero eat when they get the munchies, okay, and that is absolutely not allowed. this man is such a simp behind closed doors, he will literally make you homemade snacks for when you go smoke with the guys. 

- he’s not the greatest with words, okay, but he loves you and he shows it through small things like that. he’s always pushing you to do your best, and bragging about you, and doing little things to remind you how much he cares

- he’s also a little over protective, but he means well, and cmon it’s kinda cute when he get’s jealous, sometimes

- but overall you guys are just the cutest couple. like the bakusquad is absolutely obsessed. (you make Bakugou soft, but don’t tell him they said that)

- and sure you fight over little things every once in a while, but you learn how to handle Bakugou’s attitude quick, and it never lasts too long. 

- if you do have a big fight, you take a step back and let each other cool down, and then you make Bakugou talk it out. he hates it at first, because sharing his feelings is so not something he wants to do, but it does help and he knows it.

- if, on the rare occasion, the two of you have a bad fight you can’t resolve on your own, therapist Kiri is there to save the day

Bonus:

- now, let’s get down to the whole reason i made this au in the first place

- the first time the two of you celebrate his birthday after getting together, he makes it clear that the day of he just wants to spend it with you

- so the weekend closest to his bday, the whole squad goes out and celebrates, but when it comes to his actual bday? Bakugou has a surprise for YOU

- you show up to his apartment, not really knowing what to expect, and this man pulls out a pan of brownies

- yeah, those brownies

- turns out, he and Sero used to sell them in high school

“What? Sero already sold, and I can cook, so we just... did it. It was good money.”

“How could you keep this from me?! Have I told you recently that I adore you?”

He just laughs, “You’re such a dork.”

- so you have the PLEASURE of getting high with Bakugou for the first time

- and let me just tell you, you’re in for a treat

- Bakugou. is. so. clingy. as soon as it hits, you know, because he’s wrapping his arms around you and pulling you into his lap

- he’s speaking so softly?? and he’s just relaxed, and content with holding you and talking about anything and everything, just cuddling with music in the background

- high! makeout sessions! with Bakugou! that’s it, that’s literally it. he is INSATIABLE 

- the man just wants to kiss you, for hours, okay? give him what he wants!!

- he used to get super paranoid, that’s why he doesn’t smoke much, but with you he’s calm and comfortable, and not anxious

- it becomes tradition to make brownies on both of your birthdays, and you look forward to it all year

- and every once in a while, Bakugou will smoke with the squad, and they quickly learn that he can’t keep his hands off of you when he’s high. they tease him relentlessly, and Sero and Denki definitely have asked him (aka whined to him) to stop hogging all your attention

- also, he definitely lights the bowl for you, because he is a gentlemen

- shotgun kisses. yup. that’s all I have to say.

before I get carried away again, this is the end. Thank you for reading! I literally can’t get enough of this au I’m in love with it!! I’ll be writing more of this au soon, hopefully, and my requests are open!! 

[rinkrats]

🥺 that mike lange story. But also those tags #sid loooves christmas #he loves giving presents #looks good in red #piles on the pounds fast #post hockey career as santa 😂😂👌🏽👌🏽

he loves his mementos and presents and is COMMITTED to them. scrapbooking. matching jackets. little pills with hidden motivational messages~*~ his love language is gifts and neck smooches and stalking geno. relevant right now are some anecdotes i sent a friend earlier this year for dorky sid gifts fic fodder:

1. Crosby's constant thoughtfulness would be impressive from anyone, much less someone of his stature.

"Sid always texts me happy birthday, he's always asking me like, how's Russia?" Evgeni Malkin said. "We talk and message all summer. He asks me how my skates are. He knows, like, everything. He follows my Instagram, I think (laughs)."

In addition to having a handle on those little details, Crosby is constantly providing those around him with memories and mementos. If the team is on the road and goes, say, sightseeing or to a sporting event and takes a group photo, Crosby will later send a framed copy to everyone.

When Ron Hextall and Brian Burke watched their first Penguins game in person, Crosby is the one who approached head equipment manager Dana Heinze and asked for two used game pucks to give to the new GM and president of hockey ops. 

After the Penguins won in 2009, Crosby had jackets made for the three players on the team who had scored a Cup-clinching goal in Game 7: Talbot (Pittsburgh), Ruslan Fedotenko (Tampa Bay) and Mike Rupp (New Jersey).

"They were blue jackets with gold buttons, and each one had a patch on it that said 'GWG Game 7,'" Talbot said. "At one of our first team meals the next season, he presented us with the jackets and did a big ceremony with the music and stuff. We had a private room in the restaurant. I still have the jacket."

-The Consummate Teammate, Captain and Ambassador, Feb 2021

2. Merz: My first interaction with Sid was when we were on the bench, guys were talking about a teammate, and the first thing this 15-year-old says is, “Hey, guys. Let’s keep everything positive. Don’t talk about your teammates that way.”

Salcido: When we were getting ready for nationals, he found these little pills that you could put a hidden message inside. They unscrewed, and inside was a tiny scroll. He gave one to every teammate. … He had everyone fill one out. He didn’t tell anyone what to write, but he made it known that we all knew what the goal was: winning nationals. So we wrote on our scrolls, rolled them up and put them in the pill thing. We kept them with us everywhere we went.

-‘Is this real?’: Stories of Sidney Crosby’s year at a Minnesota prep school, May 2020

3. On “Butterfly Boy” Jonathan Pitre:

Though the Senators are his team, Sidney Crosby has always been Jonny’s favourite player. After the TSN documentary airs, Tina gets a call from the Penguins. Sid needs Jonny’s measurements. He wants to have a suit made for him by his personal tailor, Domenico Vacca.

“It’s the kindest, sweetest gesture,” Tina says. “Sid heard that Jonny went to a lot of games, so he wants him to look like he’s one of the guys.”

“I want him to feel like a pro,” Crosby says. “Here’s a guy who is going through something so painful, and his first thought is always, ‘How can I help others?’ When I was young, I’d watch on TV the players coming to the rink in their suits. That was a cool part of being an NHL player. I want him to feel that, to make it as real as possible for him.”

Tina tries to discreetly measure Jonny while she’s changing his dressings. But he’s way too smart for that.

“Um, Mom, why are you measuring me? Am I going for surgery again?” he asks.

“No, no!” Tina replies, trying to reassure him and come up with a good lie, all in the same breath. “The doctor needs them just to make sure they have proper dressings next time you are in.”

A few weeks later, the sharp navy blue suit shows up at their front door, along with a couple of ties, an autographed stick and a handwritten letter from Sid. 

“His eyes just light up,” Tina says. “Jonny always liked to be well-dressed, and he just loves having his own suit. It fits perfectly. He looks so good in it.”

-Beauties by James Duthie (2020)

4. Pascal Dupuis inspired his Pittsburgh Penguins teammates on their run to the Stanley Cup, and Sidney Crosby found a special way of driving that message home.

Dupuis retired in December with lingering health concerns because of blood clots. Despite his NHL playing days coming to an end, the veteran forward remained an integral part of the Penguins and was in uniform to hoist the Cup after Pittsburgh's six-game win against the San Jose Sharks in the Stanley Cup Final.

On Sunday, Dupuis brought the Cup home one last time as a player to share a special day with his family, friends and hometown fans.

"Yes, it does feel bittersweet a little bit," Dupuis said. "You get the Cup, you want to celebrate. But at the same time I got a gift by the mail [Saturday]. Basically, it's a book of all the pictures of all the good stuff we went through. It came from Nova Scotia, so you guys can figure out who it came from (Crosby), but he couldn't give it to me during the season, he saw me skating a little bit.

"And he sent it [Saturday], before my day with the Cup, so he knew what he was doing to get me right here," Dupuis said, putting his fist over his heart.

-Pascal Dupuis shares Stanley Cup with family, friends, Aug 2016

5. In 2011, Crosby was out of the lineup with a concussion, and the Penguins made their annual visit to Children’s Hospital.

Crosby got along so well with one boy there and was so touched that he later asked Bullano to go back... just the two of them, no cameras, no attention.

When Bullano and Crosby met for the follow-up visit, Crosby appeared clutching a pair of Toys “R” Us bags, filled with a Transformer toy the two had discussed.

“He literally bought every type of this toy they make,” Bullano said. “[Crosby] had never seen it before and thought it was so cool.

“There are no pictures of this. There’s no video. He was laying in the bed with the kid. They were just playing. We were there for over two hours. I got to know the mom really well because we were just sitting there.

“The kid had no idea. Didn’t expect it. They had no idea he was coming. We got there and he said, ‘Hey buddy. hope you don’t mind that I came back.’ The kid couldn’t believe it.

“[Crosby’s] crazy cool about stuff like that.”

What’s crazy is trying to recount the many times stuff like this has happened with Crosby:

• The Little Penguins Learn to Play program has been around for nine seasons, outfitting now 1,200 kids with free head-to-toe hockey equipment. Not only does Crosby serve as the face of the program — which the NHL has now adopted — but he helps fund it, too.

“There’s an awareness of what a person in his position can bring,” Penguins vice president of communications Tom McMillan said. “I think he activates that as much as anybody I’ve seen during his playing career.”

• After a recent practice, Crosby noticed a local family in the Penguins dressing room, approached them, introduced himself, learned their story and wound up giving them a signed stick.

Nobody asked Crosby to do that, and he wanted zero credit when discussing it a couple days later.

“For people who have the opportunity to come in here, people dealing with certain things, if you can brighten their day a bit or spend some time with them, it’s something that’s special for all of us,” Crosby said.

• A few years ago, through a team charity event, Crosby befriended a 4-year-old Amish boy with cancer. Crosby remarked to Bullano how much he loved talking to the boy because of how engaging the boy was and how he wasn’t consumed with technology. Crosby even tried to visit the boy but learned he had passed away.

• He learns the first and last names of the kids who attend his hockey school in Cole Harbour, Nova Scotia.

“Two kids came from Japan its first year,” Bullano recalled. “He was so blown away by that. He couldn’t wait to meet them.”

• Earlier this season, the Penguins welcomed Grant Chupinka, 24-year-old cancer patient, into the dressing room. Crosby chatted up Grant and his parents, Steve and Kim.

He spent his usual time — about two or three times the requirement. Gave the tour. Then found out the Chupinkas didn’t have tickets for that night’s game and decided he would pay for them to go.

“I’m sure he could just give them an autographed puck or something, but he takes his time to go out and see them and talk to them and get to know them,” Brian Dumoulin said. “It speaks volumes for him and who he is as a person.”

Spend any length of time with Crosby during his visits with those less fortunate, and a few things become obvious.

One, Crosby is really good at these. Smooth but not in a slimy way. Sweet. You know how when you’re around someone talking and they go out of their way to make eye contact with everyone around? That’s Crosby.

He’s also humble, always introducing himself like those he’s meeting don’t already know. Holding a hand is no issue. And Crosby is the rare 20-something pro athlete without kids who acts every bit like he does.

“It is not an easy situation to talk to someone with terminal cancer,” McMillan said. “A lot of people couldn’t do that. He has an amazing ability to do that and make that person feel good.”

Crosby has welcomed several Make-a-Wish kids and tries, if at all possible, to schedule such events for practice days — to maximize the time he’s able to spend.

He’s developed a special friendship with Patrick McIlvain, a soldier who nearly died when he took a bullet to the head in Afghanistan. McIlvain actually does physical therapy with one of Crosby’s sticks.

A former club hockey player at Cal U, McIlvain comes by every year, and the Penguins don’t even bother to tell Crosby. Either he already knows or immediately stops what he’s doing to come say hello.

“He’s not doing it to leave a legacy,” said Terry Kalna, Penguins vice president of sales and broadcasting. “His numbers leave the legacy. He’s just a down-to-Earth, good guy.”

Before a visit, Crosby has Bullano email him what is essentially a scouting report on who he’s going to meet. He likes to learn about them, their situation and what they’ve been through. As much information as he can ingest. Crosby never just swoops in, shake a hand and leave.

“As much as anyone has ever seen, he accepts the responsibilities of being not just a professional athlete but a star professional athlete,” McMillan said. “He views it as part of the job. Like coming to the morning skate. That’s just what you do.”

Put another way, “he owns those moments,” says Kalna.

Said Bullano, “He’s just a good human being.”

-When it comes to giving, Sidney Crosby does as much as he can, Feb 2017

6. When Crosby received a generous signing bonus on his Reebok deal, he wanted to share it with everyone.

“He gave everyone on the bus gifts,”  says Oceanic radio commentator Michel Germain. “Him sharing his bonus with all the people he’d been travelling with for two years, that impresses me greatly. I think the most important thing about Sidney Crosby is his personality and the kind of human being he is. What he exuded. The inner richness he’d already developed.” 

-Superstitious and generous, Dec 2006

7. also this simply because it makes me ;w;

Even in defeat — no, especially in defeat — Sidney Crosby proved why he wears the "C" for the Penguins.

After the game, with his heart sinking and his season over, the Penguins’ captain bent over, sank to the ice to pick up the puck, took it to linesman Tony Sericolo and then skated to his team’s handshake line.

I immediately thought of a View from Ice Level I’d written on Crosby making sure a retiring official was sent away from PPG Paints Arena properly. I knew picking up the puck wasn’t for the same reason that was, but I also knew, in some way, it was connected to Crosby’s awareness and respect of the game.

“It was for the Islanders,” Crosby told me after the game, his eyes swollen from a first round exit – by way of a sweep to make it worse. He told me how the winning team always wanted the puck, and it was his way of providing it for the Islanders.

Crosby looked me right in the eye as he told me this, just as he did with every other member of the media to come to him after the loss.

I could tell from those swollen eyes and the way he sat at his stall, by himself with his hands folded as he stared blankly, that Sidney Crosby is much more used to being on the receiving end of a puck when a series ends than he is at retrieving it for the winning team.

That scene. His swollen eyes. Staying in the locker room until most had left – talking to anyone who needed him. Most of all, though, picking up the puck that prompted my question in the first place and making sure the right people got their piece of their own history.

It all adds up to one thing: In victory and in defeat, Crosby respects the game above all else – just as he’s always done.

-Even in defeat, Crosby shines, April 2019