#can we get some fs in the chat lads

[penguin--person]

zrzek:]]] his day. tomorrow.

[reactionimagesdaily]

[kdtheghostwriter]

SNK #119 - Jaeger ni Kissu

Let me get some Fs in the chat, pls.

So, what the hell? Shiganshina am I right? What’s the deal with that crazy place, huh?

You would think this fandom, more than all the others, would be used to getting the slider when they expect a fastball. (That’s right! I know baseball stuff!) Even I have to admit, though, Isa got me with this one. It’s all pretty thrilling to me as a reader. I’ll explain why later but first, some housekeeping. Remember when I said this a few months ago? That Eren’s expression was less relieved and more shocked leaning toward concerned? Welp.

Arm extended; mouth agape. The universal signs of “No, not that you asshole!” It’s also masterful paneling to have Colt’s cry of “Wait!” superimposed onto the Attack Titan, which we know can’t speak. Eren was mortified by the idea of his hometown being overrun with Titans yet again. That was hardly surprising. What did surprise me was Zeke’s look of shock as the Grice brothers revealed themselves. He still screamed, of course, as should have been expected. But that moment of hesitation…hmm. I guess he really did like Colt. It’s not out of the question. He just liked his plan more.

And since we’re on the topic, I’d like some words about this panel right here.

Dammit all, this one hit more than any of the others for me. See, Zeke, it’s not just you who understands the joys and the sorrows and the burdens of being an older brother. I do myself. Falco realized what was about to happen and tried to save his brother’s life by pushing him away. Colt refused and held him tighter.

Don’t worry, Falco! Your big brother will always be with you!

Fuck me, how am I supposed to keep my chill after a scene like that? Sure enough, Colt was scorched as his brother transformed into a mindless, lumbering monster which transitions me nicely into something else I said in the aftermath of #117. Someone did indeed have to die. I only guessed wrong who.

Reiner is going to survive this manga whether he wants to or not. More importantly, what a champion Porco is. Knew he was cooked, so he put all his energy into healing his body. Then he left the cockpit to distract Falco’s Titan and save two people. The fact that he did this right after seeing the memory of his brother confessing to Reiner that he lied is no accident. He wasn’t just proving to Reiner he was better; he was getting one back at his big brother. It’s equal parts heroic and tragic which is par for the course of this series. He died in almost the exact same way Marcel did all those years ago – saving Reiner’s dumbass from being nommed up. I’ll miss you Porco, but at least you’ll live on in the memories of the little one.

 Speaking of little ones: maybe we should start calling her “Deadeye” Gabi Braun. This was such an inspired choice. Not just because of who pulled the trigger in the end (and partly because of whose gun she used), which got the intended reaction, but also because of who she hit. I thought for sure she would have taken aim for Zeke. It would have made sense. A wounded, stationary target is a lot easier to mark than one sprinting at full speed. (That’s what MGS3 taught me at least.) She’s a soldier, though, and the main reason she hijacked the blimp in Liberio was to kill The Usurper. It’s unclear to me if Magath’s mission here is strictly Dead or Alive or if they were trying to capture him but either way her mission, for now, appears to be accomplished. I say “appears to be” because it’s time for my favorite monthly mini-game:

WHY, SWAY, WHY??

There’s a lot we don’t know yet about Titan powers, Eldian biology and the transference from one vessel to another. If Marley’s goal specifically was to recapture the Founder instead of simply stopping Eren from using it, this is what Zeke would call a miscalculation. We know that Titan Powers get transferred Avatar-style to a rando newborn Eldian when a Shifter dies before succession. I actually believe there’s a lot of story left to go. But! There isn’t enough left to now try and track down, out of all the Eldians still in the world, which one holds this terrifying power. (That would make a great AU, though.) Not to mention, we don’t know what happens in the case of a Shifter holding more than one power. Do all three Titans go to one child? Do they get split up back into three by the P A T H S? We don’t know. All of this is reason to expect some chicanery in the next few months or so. Besides any of that we are no closer to knowing what Eren’s true intentions are in regards to why he wants to use the Founder. Isayama Hajime is absolutely the kind of author to blast his main character into oblivion before the story has concluded. He is not the kind of author to leave a stone unturned. We found out about the Shifters and we found out about the basement. Whatever knowledge was revealed to him will not be kept secret, even if it isn’t by his own hand.

Sidebar: decapitation is weird, even in messy circumstances like this one. The electric signals in the brain often keep firing for minutes after the head has been removed. This is how beheaded snakes continue to hiss and bite after the fact. My troll prediction would be Eren’s head landing in Zeke’s hand like so many baseballs in his lifetime; the Coordinate is activated and Shiganshina proceeds to have a bad time.

I don’t know, folks. I couldn’t help but think of one very important rule as I read the closing pages.

Always Double Tap, dude. Gabi just had to go for the swag. See, if she had popped Eren’s head like a bloody firework I would have said, “Welp, you had a good run, kid.” But nope. You went and left the most powerful being in existence an outside outside chance of survival, and if he does, even for a few seconds more, everybody is screwed.

No segue, I just love these two teaming up. It makes sense that Mikasa and Armin have gotten closer as Eren has gotten more distant. I think seeing how that dynamic evolves as the story builds to its conclusion will be very important. For now, on the surface level, they just really care for each other.

 The last time I got a feeling like this, I was a young lad watching Samurai Jack in the early 00s. I would watch every week without fail on the Cartoon Network, engrossed for the entire runtime. And then, oh, the long and nagging wait. I can admit that having most stuff On Demand is impossibly handy for this particular moment in history, but goddamn do I remember having to wait a whole ass week for my favorite show to come back. Fans of Shingeki no Kyojin don’t realize how good they have it.

Replicating that feeling is almost impossible, not just because of how product is released now. Every story has been told before, in some way. Sometime in the last Millenia or so, our slimy lizard brains have come to expect certain beats and structure from stories. It makes the stories good, but also predictable. I can tell you as a writer, it’s so very difficult to find a way to surprise people in a genuine and engaging way.

This is going to sound more cold and callous than intended but, it does involve manipulating an audience to achieve your desired outcome. You want to lead them to the place you want to go and let them think it was their plan all along. This is the Art of Storytelling: I know what you want better than you do. This involves knowing your audience, and I think it’s safe to say after his “I want to hurt people with this,” comment that no writer on the planet right now knows his audience better than Isayama.

Fans of SNK should be happy. I’ve said this before: it isn’t the best book out right now (that’s still OPM, read that shit) but it is the most unpredictable. That doesn’t always make a story good, but in this case, it’s the greatest factor. Feel free to speculate and discuss. That’s what fandom is for. Just give up now on trying to work out what comes next. Only one person knows that. Isa has had this story plotted out for years with diversions here and there. We won’t know until it all ends. Enjoy this ride now. I can promise you we will never see anything like this manga ever again.

  Stray Thoughts

- Still no Kyomi. Still no Tiny Queen. I know the main character just got his head yeeted but let’s get some deets now, pls.

- I was so looking forward to the memes and am happy to report that I wasn’t let down. Well done, friends.

- The 104th Squad continues to persist, as does Yelena. We’ll earmark this for later.

- The fact that both the Jaeger Brothers got shot before Floch Forster is high dark comedy.

- In a battle this chaotic, things like skill and experience are often nullified. It makes perfect sense that Eren would be caught off-guard by a soldier he didn’t even know was there, child though she may be. Right place, wrong time. These Things Happen.

- Armin taking out the Cart’s turret gun was a slick little callback to when he bought time for Eren to take down Bertolt.

- I’m interested in Armin’s game plan here. Marley’s infantry is about to be overrun by Titans, so what else does he aim to do? And how will Yelena interfere?

- Nile said he wouldn’t see his family again. We all knew he was right but man, the look on his face when his number was called. That’s tough. Shout-outs to Pixis, getting one last sip in. You a real one.

[farewell-persephone]

got a pimple growing on my damn nostril lads, can we get some Fs in the chat to pay respects

[infinitycircuit]

Versace Zelus | meatcopter69 | 4.4

It's not the right time or place, but he can't help it. He physically can't help it. Lindsay pogs the moment Tomie goes for the jugular and he doesn't stop until Guy Cleansgoode begins a crusade of mental warfare against him for his Guyo-doxxing crimes. And even then? He's still grinning. Something about her furious tirade... it's snapped him out of his fugue. Once she's done he gives her a round of applause and a wolf whistle.

"Tomie Katsukawa!!!! You are the most valid motherfucker on this train!!!! We stan a legend. I'm going to get you into mainstream Hollywood after this even if I have to expend the last of my fragile dignity and considerable clout to do it."

"But!" "✨ Let's put Hollywood aside and focus on that clout thing, huh?✨"  

An insufferable smirk creeps across his face as he pulls his arm away from Akaji for the first time all trial, resting his elbows on the table to lean forward. Lindsay Tsai is, in every respect, not a dangerous person. He isn't. His ex was, if we're all reminiscing about our fucked up former girlfriends in the trial today, but he'd never really been able to come close to her incomprehensible levels of casual violence. (Not that he wanted to. That woman could have killed five people without breaking a sweat.) What he is, however, is a massive pain. God has let him live until now and he is about to make it the polycule's problem.

"Thanks for that condescending horseshit, Kishinami! Real big words for someone who posts cringe everywhere they go! I mean, you're sssssooooo right, bestie, except for one thing- Jinki isn't loveable unless you got botched under the knife and they replaced your heart with a septic tank. Did that happen to you? Is that the sad, tragic malpractice backstory you were hinting at on the golf course? Or at least part of it? Is that what your dead French ex did? Fs in the chat, lads!"

"...So what we've got here is two situations, right? The first is that we take da Jinki's story at face value and vote for him, despite all the contradictions. The second is that we go with what I'm thinking and he killed Magnolia while Kishinami killed Sato. And, I gotta tell you, I'm leaning towards suggesting we vote the latter. Why?"

He tucks his hands under his chin. Chinhands. What a shithead. 

"If we vote Jinki -> Sato and Sato -> Magnolia, and we're wrong, we get two mistrial punishments and these fuckheads are free to crawl back into Karasu's arms and gloat about it. We all get taken for a ride by God's Biggest Mistake and we have to live with that until the end of our days. But if we vote Jinki -> Magnolia and Kishinami -> Sato, and we're wrong and he was telling the truth (wild!), then we get the two mistrial punishments but at least Jinki isn't a total piece of shit."

"So that's that. And I'm fully down to try and sort the rest of this shitshow out ourselves between us relatively sane and non-psychotic human beings. But I'll just add this in as a meaty little treat for you to chew on, Jinki."

"If you're telling the truth, good on you! Wow! But if you're covering for Kishinami's involvement, consider this. Ume explicitly told me her family does crime scene fuckery. Kishinami has some type of medical malpractice we have explicit evidence of. Your life is already a shitshow and I can't ruin it more, but I can use all my money and clout to snitch to the cops the moment I get out of here. ✨ I'll ruin Ume's whole family. ✨ I'll ruin that circus you wanted to go marry her in. ✨ If they're corrupt, I'll just pay them more. ✨ I'll do a ✨ viral callout post ✨ on Kishinami and make sure they never work in medicine again. ✨ I'll make all of your lives a living hell.✨"

"So either tell us how your original story works with all the consistencies Kishinami pointed out, or give up and show us what's under your shirt." 

He smiles, sweetly, and goes back to clinging to Akaji's arm.

"And don't even think that you can just get rid of me after this trial. Didn't you hear? Ume's sworn to protect meee. And she neeever breaks her promiseeeees. RIGHT?"