#can we all agree this ost fucks so so hard

[slymanner]

No but can we get a fucking shout-out for scott pilgrim takes off MUSIC ITS SO GOOD GUYS IM SO HAPPY THEY GOT ANAMANAGUCHI BACK FOR THE SHOW THIS WAS SO SMART

[beevean]

Frontiers is bad and boring to play but I take it over Forces anytime of the day, first the gameplay plays the game for you half of the time why is Classic Sonic here? Other then Sonic Team being desperate? Why did Tails forget he could fly? INFINITE was wasted and his theme song is embarrassing. Why bother using Chaos if he wasn't even going to be a boss level? Sonic is tortured ? Okay sorry but atleast Frontiers had a better ost.

why is Classic Sonic here? Other then Sonic Team being desperate?

Most likely because 1) Forces was meant to be one of the 2 games for the 25th anniversary, even if they both slid forward one year, 2) precisely to connect Forces and Mania, 3) to piggyback on the success of Generations. Do you want to call it pandering? Feel free to call it pandering, by 2016 fans weren't as eager to play as Classic again, true. But then we can also call pandering the relentless references to the Adventure era in Frontiers, both in simple "hey this reminds me of X" and in general plot beats - now that game very much wants to win the Adventure crowd back more than Forces wanted to appeal to the Classic fans.

Why did Tails forget he could fly?

Do you mean when Sonic (Sonic the fucking Hedgehog) was getting his entire shit beaten out by a terrifying creature not even his Miles Electric could understand, plus clones of formidable enemies that included Shadow?

I don't know, I get the flak against "Sonic help me", but I don't blame Tails for not knowing what to do in that situation.

INFINITE was wasted and his theme song is embarrassing.

Opinion discarded. Infinite's theme slaps absolute ass and if you don't agree AND AFTER ALL THIS TIMEEEEEEE YOU'RE BACK FOR MOOOOOOOOOOOOORE

I agree that something happened to Infinite during development, as everything in the main game hinted at him being a fully artificial creature and not a rando still sore that he was beaten by Shadow lol. But dude was cool in my book. I really like that stage where he creates all sorts of creepy illusions to stop Operation Big Wave :P he could have had more screentime, but he chewed that little screentime we had just fine. better than the end, anyway and always.

Why bother using Chaos if he wasn't even going to be a boss level?

The game was most likely rushed, which sucks, no doubt about that. But somehow, only Forces gets treated like a piece of shit for being rushed, when Frontiers doesn't get nearly the same amount of disappointment for being pretty much a test game (and we know it was rushed because of the last two islands that are pieces cut from Kronos Island and for the weird way Sonic's corruption was handled). Hell, by this point, even '06 is getting apologism even though until recently it was the king of rushed games, and much worse about it than the previous examples.

Either you're equally uncharitable with rushed games that sacrificed content (so I'm not talking about game breaking glitches), or you cut them all some slack.

Sonic is tortured ? Okay sorry

Sloppy translation. And while Sonic looks chipper after being freed, and we can argue all day if that's IC or not, you can guess from things like him beating Zavok with his bare fists or the veiled death threat he gives Infinite that deep down he's actually pretty angry.

Now, Sonic being rescued by his corruption in Frontiers in a minute, undoing all of his hard work in rescuing his friends, and him being just as chipper after Sage, the girl he had just befriended, died in space, is not sloppy translation, it's the game getting rushed to hell (although I don't know why Flynn blames time constraints when it comes to Sonic not sparing a thought about Sage lol).

atleast Frontiers had a better ost.

I like both ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ and Frontiers' cyberspace themes are clearly inspired by the Avatar themes in Forces.

[anotherkindofmindpod]

I just started listening to your podcasts because, well, I just became a Beatles deepfan (should be a term if it's not) when I got COVID in mid-Jan and left "Get Back" on for the duration. On repeat. I was always a huge fan of the music, but like a lot of us when I was born they were already broken up, so it wasn't until I saw them together in GB that I became sucked into *them* and their relationships. (They're fascinating af and I get it now.)

Thing is, as I my body began to get better, my brain refused to come along. It just got stuck.†︎ It was slow and plodding and my "genetically over-curious" nature was completely flattened. It was as if the world around me shrunk, and the immediate effect of that was that I couldn't move to another topic. I literally couldn't think of what to think about. It was maddening! I tried and tried, but at some point I realized that even paying attention to The Beatles was hard, and that I had no choice but to take what I could get, and after a few weeks I slowly found that I could, very slowly, shift slightly within the topic. That happened without directed thought, so I was glad of it. It was something, you know? The best way I can describe it is that it was like my world became a checkers board: the board was "The Beatles" and I could move one space away from wherever I was. My brain couldn't leap any more, but it was learning to crawl. And so it did. It's been a bit like consuming a very large meal spread out over miles one nibble at a time. Not really sure why I wrote all that — except that I was probably trying to explain it to myself for the first time? — and it's not really important, except to kind of say how absolutely ignorant I was 6 months ago and how everything is still new and fascinating, but that it's also impossible to always know what's been talked about to death. Sometimes I think I know, but often I've just not discovered that corner of the fandom, and the OST & AKOM ladies are your own lovely island that I've yet to explore — bite by crawling bite — thoroughly. Yet.

So with those caveats... I just read the absolutely insane 1980 Playboy article last week, then — believe it or not — today I listened to "How Do You Sleep" for the first time. Yes, the first. The strange "Muzak" line actually jumped out at me when I read the article because it's so almost anti-Lennon-ish, but after seeing the "Muzak" lyric in "How Do You Sleep" it seemed possibly significant that in 1980 he made the Muzak remark. Like John-code. But that is also why I mentioned that I just started listening to AKOM. I figure there's a very good chance you've talked about it and I just haven't gotten to it yet, but also it turns out I couldn't wait to listen to them all to find out. *ducks* 💜

†︎ It took almost 3 months to see any improvement, but there has been some recently. ⭐️ 🧠

Hello @mythserene! First of all, thanks for sharing your COVID experience. It’s been a hell of a worldwide mind-fuck that we’re all still surviving/recovering from/processing and it’s helpful to many of us to talk about it.

The one genuinely hilarious thing about HDYS is how John managed to highlight so many of Paul’s most extraordinary qualities and accomplishments. All the alleged “insults” in retrospect look incredibly backwards and conservative, and actually shine a better light on Paul!

You live with straights  This young dad chooses not to work with junkies? I think we can all agree that’s a good call 

Jump when your mama tell you anything  Linda wears the pants in the family? Wow, cool

Pretty soon we’ll see what you can do  Amazing how John foretold not only Paul’s illustrious legacy but also his incredible artistic range and unprecedented, thriving career as both a recording artist and live performer into his 80s!

Since you’ve gone you’re just Another Day  Choosing one of the most interesting (and newly celebrated) songs of Paul’s catalog that highlights his unusual focus on working women, was just… chef’s kiss

The sound you make is muzak to my ears  If this is a reference to M1, John is actually foreshadowing the album’s distinction as one of rock’s first lo-fi albums (certainly its first mainstream one). Paul’s creation of “muzak” both in M1 and more obviously on 1980’s M2, show innovation in a new genre of ambient music that fully emerges in the 90s and 00s and continues to flourish today. McCartney explores other subgenres such as electronica and trance further with the Fireman projects, but his work with M1 and M2 are really decades ahead of what will eventually become a major genre of electronic pop music.

Lennon’s use of the term “muzak” in 1971 was surely meant as an insult; so-called Elevator Music was considered mass-produced shmaltz, background noise for mindless consumers.  But as someone who LOVES ambient and electronic music, “Elevator Music” is definitely not an insult and ironically draws attention to Paul’s musical eclecticism and innovation!

Lennon’s use of the term Muzak here in 1980 -and admitting it’s something that “relaxes” him- is definitely interesting! There’s no way John isn’t conscious of the association with Paul. What it means is hard to say; maybe it’s a subtle back-pedal on HDYS; maybe it’s John’s way of showing he’s matured/expanded his tastes over the years; maybe it’s just a shout-out to Paul? Or maybe he’s just speaking freely, and the Paul reference is incidental. In any case, thank you so much for bringing this to our attention! If I’d read it before, I’d overlooked it.

P.S. If you are new to Beatles Deepfandom (I agree, this should become a thing!), I actually recommend Understanding Lennon/McCartney. It gives a TON of information without all the commentary, so you’re free to interpret and draw your own conclusions. And if you're into rabbitholes, this series is over 10 hours long, so get ready for the deepest of dives! 

[myworldisfictional]

👑Young Royals👑

Just a hodgepodge of asks to get to know your favourites and gush some more about YR (one day it will be enough right?). Share your thoughts dears! 💜

Thanks for the tag @ladyauroraborealis 🥰

Favourite:

Kiss

I completely agree with Lana. The smile right before the kiss. Ugh it’s just so sweet

Hug

Wille grasps onto Simon like he thought he was going to lose him. There’s so much desperation but just to hold Simon and be held by him. He so badly wants everything to be okay

Foreheads touching

It’s so delicate and sweet. And everything else going on just makes it so heartbreaking

Hand holding

They’re both seeking comfort in each other and just desperately trying to hold on to each other

Wille and Simon outfits

For Simon the purple hoodie (obviously) and for Wille the blue and black sweater

OST

This song perfectly conveys their emotions in the scene and it’s just so pretty to listen to (but honestly that’s true for all of them)

Share a moment that

Made you cry (happy or sad tears)

I never actually cried while watching yr but this scene was the closest I got to actual tears

Made you smile big

Honestly every single cute wilmon moment. Theres not a single one of them I can watch without smiling like a complete idiot

Made you want to throw your screen against a wall

I remember the first time I saw this part I legitimately screamed. The whole circumstances of their situation and then the confession of love just got me feeling a whole lot of emotions

Fish scene or morning after scene?

The morning after scene. It ranks high in my favourite scenes across all film/tv

Moment you knew this show was something special

This scene holds a special place in my heart. The technical aspects are amazing and as soon as I saw it I knew this show would ruin me

Quote you love

Jag bara vill inte förlora dig. Du är den enda som jag känner att jag faktiskt kan prata med här

Who would you want to be friends with first (or be BFFs) if you went to Hillerska?

I feel like I would probably get along best with Simon

Pick a song you like that you feel could be Wille’s, Simon’s, or Wilmon’s anthem

So for Wilhelm I think Bloodline fits really well with his season 1 storyline. He keeps pushing against the grain to follow his heart but ultimately caves into what he’s expected to do

I strongly believe Wille is going to fuck shit up in season 2 and I am so here for it. I also found this song thanks to @grizviser gaslight, gatekeeper, girlboss playlist that has loads of other great anthems for Wille in season 2

This song is so good and when I translated the lyrics I thought it fit with Simon especially in season 1. He’s so empathetic and he deals with Wille’s inconsistency and ultimately gets hurt in the end

For season 2 I think Simon is going to be trying really hard to move on from Wille but he does truly love him so it’s not going to go away easily. It’s the I love you even though I don’t want to (until they get back together of course)

I saw someone else (sorry I don’t remember who) mention Like Real People Do for Wilmon and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it because I think it fits really well for them in season 1

I think Fallout might fit well for Wilmon for at least half of season 2. Like I think the first verse sounds very much what Wilhelm will be feeling and the second verse is more Simon. And I know we don’t want a love triangle but the jealousy implied in the song also fits (and it doesn’t necessarily have to refer to a love triangle)

And a little extra but I hope (maybe for season 3) that their relationship gets to the point where this song works perfectly

Show me a scene that when you see it, makes you want to rewatch the show right then and there

The fish scene is probably the scene I see gifs of most often and every single time I want to rewatch the show

I’m tagging @gold-rush-wille @goldenwilmon @whatintheeverlovingfucketh @eyeofthedrgn and anyone else who wants to participate!

[plan-d-to-i]

1-people forget that in the universe MXTX created it is stated that YZY's situation is not normal, it is a patriarcal society so wives don't keept their names nor do whatever the fuck they want and they certainly don't humiliate their husband without even being told off, she's uniquely horrible and JFM is uniquely spineless. i always think JFM did love and worried about WWX but that last interaction he threw him under the bus to appease JC so his last memory would cement that he did love him

2- bc he didn't have more time to keep trying to make him understand and i always wonder how things with JC could have been fixed, easiest would be having had the balls to get rid off YZY early but if he divorced her (or got her killed lol) would JC have been different? or would he resent him even more for not protecting his mother? idk i feel like JFM was cursed from the moment he accepted to marry her and i can't help feeling bad for him

LOVE THIS. So I agree w like 99.9999% only my feelings over JFM change every five minutes. I never hate him but I vacillate wildly between i feel like he could've done more and ig he was himself a trapped in that situation so it's unfair to hold him fully accountable.

Madam Yu is an undeniably violently abusive woman who has married a kind, non-confrontational man. Most of JFM's flaws are only seen as 'flaws' instead of qualities because they framed as ineffective against someone as rank as her. I wouldn't even say he's spineless, because he does cancel YanLi's engagement for fear that it will make her as unhappy as his own marriage made him & effectively stands against his wife's demand on top of also passing on a very beneficial alliance w Jin Clan. (In fact Jin GuangShan is way more reluctant at the thought of taking this news to Madam Jin.)

Abusive relationships have their own dynamics so it's hard watching from the outside how JFM's resignation to his circumstances and avoidance are ineffective against, someone like YZY who materializes like a storm cloud to rain her venom down on everyone, especially WWX. Because WWX is not only bearing the scars piled on his back from YZY's whippings/'discipline' but he's trapped in a perpetual balancing act between JFM, YZY, jc and to an extent Yanli. He has to make JFM proud/see the value in keeping him around & at least in the beginning of his stay with the Jiangs we know he always tries to eat/take less than he needs, but he can't be so good & talented that jc feels threatened or set Madam Yu off. At the same time Yanli rewards him with soup and affection when he takes the fall for jc his first day there. This definitely establishes a pattern wherein WWX sees his usefulness within the Jiang sect in diverting punishment for the failings of those around him, especially jc, to himself. She also repeatedly asks him to just accept jc’s shifty behavior as a representative of his affection... bc she's a huge fucking enabler, which probably doesn’t bode well for how she’s come to interpret affection.

As for YZY she's the only one who paints herself a victim, when it's clear she's the instigator of the conflicts!!!! She’s literally the bad guy, boss, fly in the ointment etc. There's a lot of gaslighting in her interactions with JFM so I'm confused as to why people think that of everyone she's the reliable narrator or some poor sad victim of an uninterested husband??? She clearly does as she pleases in Lotus Pier, yells at JFM in front of Servants, accuses him of fathering a child with his friend's wife, she whips the head disciple for imagined infractions with a spiritual weapon! and pretty much just chills w her ladies when she isn't busy spewing venom wherever she goes. WITH NO REPRECUSSIONS. If JFM had been a woman and YZY the man I'm sure all her cringe stans would be frothing at the mouth to drag her(yzy) to hell by the balls.

People love to accuse JFM of favoritism towards WWX or showing him more affection. To me it's clear that for JMF, WWX is simply an extension of his father/friend & ultimately a subordinate in the Jiang household. JFM clearly cares about jc, it's not his fault that jc doesn't get it, and it's not his fault that YZY is always poisoning their relationship. JFM for his part is still trying to guide jc towards how he's meant to occupy his future position as Clan leader, quite gently too considering jiang cheng was berating WWX for saving their allies... I’m sure if anything JFM hoped WWX’s morality and sense of right and wrong would rub off a bit on jc & why wouldn't you want someone immensely talented and loyal and devoted to the well being of your son and family around?? JFM did a nice thing getting WWX off the streets but that doesn’t mean he also didn’t think WWX could be a good friend to jc who when WWX is first brought to Lotus Pier has ZERO friends, and was likely to remain with zero friends considering his personality. Only someone like WWX who is forced by circumstances, & his kind nature & gratitude to the Jiangs would be in a position to befriend him. So I think it's laughable to say JFM favors WWS when WWX was the sacrificial lamb friend/pet JFM gifted his son. Not to mention that the only person who says JFM doesn't properly value jc is again YZY. Ofc jc takes to like a duck to water because he's cut from the same cloth as his rancid mother and it's much easier to blame WWX for all his failings and misfortunes than to take a good hard look at himself or ever take responsibility for anything. jc doesn't do self reflection. There isn't any scenario where jc would have been a good person. He's lacking basic human empathy. His view of the world has him as its center. He can only relate to things as they concern and affect him and he doesn't even possess a modicum of honor that might keep such selfish impulses at bay.

To conclude, I totally agree. JFM cursed himself the moment he let himself be coerced by YZY and her Clan into marrying a person whose character and values he knew ran so deeply counter to his and his Clan's own. Sure enough under the control of jiang cheng, the original spirit in which Jiang clan was established is gone. It's a place devoid of warmth that people are scared to visit lest they be confronted w the screams of people being flayed alive.

[psychewritesbs]

Okay I just finished Sonny Boy and all I can think about is Megumi and Tsumiki running between worlds like Nagara and Mizuho😭😭😭

It was also disturbing how much Asakaze and Megumi looked alike.

Do you have similar recs?

Hola anon 🤙🏼!

Ok, your head canon of Megumi and Tsumiki running between worlds is cool af! I wonder if Megumi is also into big boobs like Asakaze 😂. 

Soooo... Sonny Boy is a truly special experience. It's unlike anything I've ever seen before so, sadly, that said, I am not sure I can make recs that are similar to Sonny Boy. 

What I can do is recommend other anime with psychologically-driven storylines or interesting premises that I've loved/really liked...

If anyone else can think of recs don't hesitate to send them over or type them in the chat!

My recs and comments below the cut... 

(Yes, I really like Yoko Kano’s music)

Prepare to get scroll happy 😳🖱

Individual shows/movies in alphabetical order...

Akira is a movie I saw A LONG time ago. All I can tell you is that it deserves all the praise it gets. It’s good.

Attack on Titan are you watching this? If you aren’t watching it, why aren’t you watching AoT? It can be hard to get through some parts of the story (lots of talking), but when AoT is on, it’s on like Donkey Kong. Like holy *$HWR^# &*$@^&G. I have really come to appreciate Iseyama’s skill at world building and consider Eren to be one hell of a protagonist (note I have not read the manga’s ending). I’m going to go ahead and assume you’re watching it...

Durarara It’s been a long time since I saw this one too so I don’t remember the specifics of the plot very well. I can tell you I really liked the first season but think I lost interest during the second season. Very psychological!

Ergo Proxy it’s been A WHILE (more than a decade?) since I saw EP but it is defo on my queue for re-watching some day (that’s how you know I liked it A LOT). It’s very psychological and, if I remember correctly, it throws a curve ball at the audience. I am a sucker for well-executed plot twists so all I can tell you about EP right now is that I remember being VERY glad I watched it.

Gankutsuou this is another one I have not seen in a while but will re-visit again someday. Back when I saw it first I absolutely loved it. This is basically a re-telling of Alexandre Dumas’ Count of Montecristo set in the future. The art and music are fantastic.

Made in Abyss Do not be fooled by the cute art style. MiA is brutal. Fuck if it’s brutal. I think I cried at the end of season 1 and waited desperately for the movie and season 2 and then I forgot about it because it took so long. 2022 is a good year to be alive because we are finally getting season 2. 

Imagine two kids going into a hole in the earth full of monsters and the shenanigans that ensue. Music by Kevin Penkin (one of my favorite anime OSTs), lore, wholesomeness, tragedy... Absolute amazingness.

RahXephon is a weird anime. It’s been compared to Neon Genesis Evangelion (which I have not seen) and I understand that without Eva’s success, an anime like Rahxephon would not have been given the green light to be produced. Rahxephon is the story about your typical misunderstood teenager who happens to be able to pilot the mecha that no one else can pilot. It has a nice romance subplot.

Sarazanmai The perpetual look on my face while watching this was “what the actual fuck?” But then I learned the director was also involved in Revolutionary Girl Utena and it all made so much more sense. I guess it’s yaoi? or more like a (very much not subtle) queer coded anime of three boys who become kappas in much the same way a magical girl goes through a transformation. It’s wacky af and I really enjoyed watching it.

Showa Genroku Rakugo Shinju was an anime that I almost missed out on and am sooooo glad I didn’t. If you read the plot description you might be inclined to think it looks boring, and I would have been one to agree with you until I watched it. SGRS is a beautiful story about friendship, love, and passion for one’s work. Don’t sleep on it.

The Vision of Escaflowne Ok, I’ll be honest, I’ve never managed to finish the anime but I own the OVA and I truly love it. Compared to the anime, the OVA is darker and edgier and it is one of the very few works that I watch dubbed.

Escaflowne is basically an isekai meets mecha from the 90s, so it’s nothing like the isekai from this day and age. In other words, it’s good. Also, music by Yoko Kano.

Wolf's Rain is a beautiful story set in a dystopian future where the world has been ravaged and wolves have gone extinct. In reality, the few remaining wolves turn into humans and walk amongst them in search for paradise. Lots of mythological lore, an interesting plot, and music by Yoko Kano. There’s just something about this anime...

Watch anything by these authors/directors:

Urobuchi Gen

Urobuchi Gen I have not decided whether Gen gets to join the “I’ll watch anything by this author list”. I am currently watching Psycho-Pass and find myself liking it more as the series progresses.

Psycho-Pass has got one of my favorite 2D sexy dudes, lots of talk of mental health, and mystery. 

Gen’s other work that I REALLY liked is Puella Magi Madoka Magica (also known as “depressed lesbians”), a dark and twisted re-imagining of the magical girl genre. It’s got a fantastic plot twist that is very well-executed. Just like with the Made in Abyss example, do not be fooled by the art style.

The “cat” became one of my favorite characters of all time.

Kon Satoshi

Kon Satoshi ah, Kon-san was definitively one of the best anime directors to have graced the world of anime. It is unfortunate that he departed from this world when he was so young. My respects to the man.

My favorite movie by him is Millennium Actress, a beautiful story about a young girl’s endless pursuit for the man she fell in love with.

But quite honestly all of his movies are amazing and solid. 

Tokyo Godfathers is a fun and endearing look at the lives of three homeless individuals in Tokyo. 

Finally, Paprika and Perfect Blue are both amazing mind fucks.

Shinkai Makoto

What sets Shinkai Makoto apart is that his movies are always a visual feast. More importantly, you can tell Shinkai is a real romantic at heart because his stories always feature soulmate love. 

I first discovered him when I saw The Place Promised in Our Early Days. If it weren’t because I remembered loving that very imperfect movie, I probably wouldn’t have been so excited to see his mega-hit, Your Name.

If you have not seen Your Name, you need to. 

You may or may not love it--the movie has got deep plot holes, but if you get emotionally sucked into the story, you won’t notice the plot holes until you’ve seen the movie 20 times... true story. 

Above all, Your Name will make you believe that soulmate love is real... also a true story. Just consider that the number of people crying at the movies after having seen this movie was enough to keep Kleenex in business for another decade.

Weathering with You was also a very solid movie featuring global warming, Japanese daily esoterism, and, of course, teenage love--that’s kind of Shinkai’s signature.

Apparently he’s releasing another movie this year (Suzume no Tojimari), so guess who’s going to be at the movie theatre when it comes out in the US?

This nerd right here.

CLAMP

It’s no secret that I am a massive CLAMP stan and I am working my way through all of their manga with a few pit stops to re-read some of my favorites. 

Consider that anime based on CLAMP manga is often lackluster compared to CLAMP’s beautiful and super detailed art. So you might want to read their manga instead of watching their anime.

Aside from the beautiful art style, I am a massive Okawa Nanase (the writer) stan because of her ability to create fascinating stories (always with a plot twist) that are full of esoteric lore. Also, I don’t know how she does it, but her characters always feel like actual people. 

I want to be like Nanase-san when I grow up.

noa-ciharu wrote a fantastic post on her best intro to CLAMP recs that I highly recommend checking out, but my favorites are Tokyo Babylon (because Subaru), Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles and xxxHolic.

Just be warned that CLAMP is out to make you cry.

Watanabe Shinichiro

The thing about Watanabe anime is that it is bittersweetly beautiful and human. Now that I am older, it is also clearer to me just how much thought and attention to detail this man puts into his work. His stories are loaded with symbolism, making them a truly fascinating experience. 

That said... Watanabe is a genius in my eyes.

Let’s start with the obvious one. It should be a crime to not have seen Cowboy Bebop. Cowboy Bebop is the anime classic. Also, music by Yoko Kano.

Samurai Shampoo is a solid 9 or 10/10 too.

I am currently watching Carole & Tuesday, which I dare say is Watanabe’s take on the cute girls doing cute things genre, and it has turned out to be a really enjoyable watch. This anime is his latest work.

But my favorite is Terror in Resonance (Zankyou no Terror). If you get emotionally involved, Zankyou will beat the fuck out of your heart and serve you a heavy dose of existential angst once it’s done beating you to a pulp. I know how it ends, and yet, I get chills every single time I watch the ending. 

If you happened to be in the same room while I watch that last episode, you would hear me yell “WHO HURT YOU WATANABE?!” at the TV screen. True story.

Zankyou is psychological story meets cute anime boys blowing sht up meets Greek tragedy (emphasis on the Greek tragedy part). In case it wasn’t obvious, it’s one of my favorite anime. Also, OST by Yoko Kano that very clearly inspired Kevin Penkin’s music.

Whatever the case, I can guarantee you I will also be watching anything Watanabe directs moving forward.

Anyways, of course, all of this is up to personal taste, so hopefully you will enjoy some of these titles as much as I enjoyed them.

♥️✨

[empty-dream]

Me: imma binge 86 ep18-20 in one go Me after ep18:

Ngl that was so intense that I got chills to the very end of it. The tension just escalates from the beginning until the last second. Despite having no action scene, it is very similar to my personal favorite ep9 but at the same time completely different as well. For starters, both episode have their ending song playing over the scenes and the same OST playing during a climatic scene. You know shit is serious when this happens. 

Both episode ends with the five marching to a deathly mission in the enemies' territory. And there is someone who tearfully begs them not to leave (Lena in 1st cour, Frederica in 2nd cour)

And speaking of Frederica, at first glance she does look like she is making a tantrum over being left behind. And maybe part of what Shin says is correct, that she sees Shin as Kiriya and she uses Shin in her atonement. But it's also easy to sympathize with her. Imagine being the only one left behind by the whole squad she's in (*cough* Lena *cough*) while besides the Federacy soldiers, Nordlicht consists of alienated war veterans like 86 and Giadian mercenaries (Idk why they haven't made that clear even to ep18 in the anime) so the chance of them being shipped to impossible mission is high.

But you're gonna feel straight up sorry for her once the light is on and this appears on screen. I gasp at this, it's so sad to look at. She likes the people there so much.

I love this entire scene so much. When I read the novel, I can sympathize but not quite agree with the five's decision to enlist and stating that if they don’t do it then they aren't moving on. It's pretty obvious they are fighting because of their pride to not become like the Republic. But they have nothing but that pride. They don't have anything to protect, the people they love are dead already. And simply fighting for pride is something a man going to their death would say (which what they were in 1st cour.) Realistically speaking, that's not enough to live on. What Frederica says in ep13 is called back, that if they have nothing but pride, when they lose sight of it, they will quickly fall apart.

Both episodes also talk about Rei. Ep9 is a given since it's Shin vs Rei, while ep18 only has this part but hell it fucking hurts.

I made an entire gifset for this scene cuz my god all the things that she says is just pure pain. I love how the camera first shows Shin's pocket where Rei's piece is kept, then immediately pans up to Shin's expression that goes from neutral to a bit slighted (because Frederica's words are correct). We keep getting scenes of Rei's piece and Shin staring at it dearly, and it just serves to drive the point home that for better or worse, regardless whether Shin is moving on or not, Rei, a dead man, is that big of a support for Shin.

Shin did say nothing when Rei left. And in the novel, Rei couldn't face him at all due to his massive guilt and shame. Rei left without even once looking at Shin, even when Shin watched him go. If one of them just said or do something about it, then maybe the painful things afterward wouldn't have to happen. Maybe Rei wouldn't become a mind-warped Legion. Maybe Shin wouldn't have to live under Rei's curse. Maybe they both wouldn't enlist. That's all it is, maybes and regrets.

And then both episode also ends with a final gut-punching cliffhanger shot with an emotional song playing. (Tbh, this ep makes me officially loves Alchemila. It wasn't a love at the first hearing like Avid to me. And god the part where the color scheme changes into the gray-blue like the usual credit, that’s like cherry on top and hits super hard)

But here is the difference. Whereas in 1st cour the five has no problem leaving the Republic that actively wants them dead even if it also means their death as well, the Federacy, despite their differences, doesn't wish them to die. Whereas the Republic is a pool of cowards who force the people they scapegoat to fight for them, the Federacy fights until the end of their breath. Even when a lot of the Federacy soldier regard the 86 with fear and disgust, calling them war machines and putting them to another deathly mission, in the end they still believe in them. They still fight and sacrifice themselves so that these war machines can ensure the victory of their country and the people they protect. It's a far cry from San Magnolia, to the point where the four of them are visibly moved with the dedication and they seriously consider to win as not to let those people down.

And this time the 86 are not leaving alone by themselves. In 1st cour Lena can only go so far due to her own lack of power. But in 2nd cour they have the army executives and the president himself backing them. There are people who disagree making them child soldiers, and continues to oppose the idea even against the 86 themselves even though they all work together. Grethe does everything to make sure she comes along with them using the best possible method the country has. She notes that Richard, despite his duty and position, also worries about them and thus gives her the OK. Ernst adopts and values the 86 as his own children, and is very adamant that they come back alive or he'd destroy the world himself (a callback to his personal belief in ep12) Even the maintenance staff in the squadron wish them all luck. All of these are proof that there are people, actual people with them, that see the 86 as living humans they hold dear and not weapons to be discarded and left to die. It's a complete 180° from 1st cour. And speaking of Ernst, I remember reading the vol3 part where Ernst having the conversation with the lieutenant general (the beginning of ep18). It is basically the same as the anime, but I love the novel version better since it's made clear that Ernst isn't going to use nepotism to save his own children/soldier and everything he says in this conversation is him acting as a president that the public continuously chooses for the last 10 years. The lieutenant general himself isn't a person keen on killing children, yet even he gets the image that Ernst is like an ominous fiery dragon with an idealism deep-rooted in heart. This part, and the farewell scene, are where I finally can breath "wow man's got both politic power and heart right. thank god he’s not an antagonist." So I'll say it again, ep18 shares similar elements and story conflicts to ep09 which is where the climax happens (ep10-11 are like the aftermath and conclusion in practice), but it is also diametrically the opposite because of the different circumstances and environments surrounding the 86.

[cannibalisticapple]

Okay, so I have some thoughts on Kurikuri’s decision to delete a large number of her fan fics, and on fan fiction as a whole.

For those who don’t know, Kurikuri (@letaizawarest) is a popular fan fiction author with numerous popular Erasermic fics, along with other fandoms. Around the end of May/start of June she deleted a large number of her stories, specifically those that featured either police, or those set in the My Hero Academia universe where they work as Pro Heroes.

To quote her post:

as you may have noticed, roughly half of the fics on my ao3 have been deleted.

i’ve deleted all my fics about police officers. also, after some thought, i also deleted my non-AU bnha fics, because although they might not be “cops” in name, they are law enforcement. i do not want to be a part of the system that glorifies the police. 


at the moment i haven’t deleted other profession AUs and high school era fics, but i will continue to reflect on their relation to the source material. even if you enjoyed the deleted fics, please do not circulate them in other formats (PDFs, EPUBs, etc). 


i also encourage other writers to think about cop fic they’ve written. while it may be fun and escapist for you, it still encourages the idea that antiblack and killer cops are just “bad apples” and that good cops exist. let’s dismantle that system of thought.

I have some very, very mixed feelings on this.

To start: I respect her reasoning, but I don’t agree with it. I fully agree that it’s not just a bunch of “bad apples”, there’s a serious issue with the system and how the police operate in the United States. I’ve always been bothered by how the police let other officers get away with horrible BS, even as a kid, and that rage has only grown as I’ve grown older and found out more about how screwed up it is on every single level.

But the way that last paragraph is written rubs me the wrong way because you can’t paint every single person in an entire career field as unequivocally corrupt, bigoted and all around callous murderers. Good cops DO exist. Plenty of people go into the career hoping to fix things, or just genuinely want to help their community in whatever way they can. But the thing is, they’re fighting a losing battle because the system is working against them. When they DO speak up against the corruption, bigotry, violence and other issues, they tend to get fired and blacklisted from the field. Or sometimes, they get outright murdered and it’s treated as a “suicide.”

A shitty fact of life: sometimes, the people who are more willing to resort to underhanded tactics and willing to turn a blind eye to corruption are the ones who climb up the career ladder furthest. And in the case of the police, it’s deep-rooted enough that it can’t be fixed internally anymore. But that doesn’t make literally every police officer corrupt.

I’m not posting this to make some political point or argument though. I obviously disagree with Kurikuri’s opinion, but I respect it. I can even respect her decision to remove the stories featuring the police, or even the ones heavily focusing on the characters’ jobs as pro heroes. I can see how heroes are just another version of law enforcement, because honestly, they are.

As a writer and a reader, I fully respect that it’s ultimately her choice to delete her stories. It’s not my place to make demands. She’s the one who created it, and as a writer I know the hard work and time that goes into crafting stories, so I believe she has a right in how it’s used and shared. The fact she shared it in the first place was something she didn’t have to do.

But the thing is, she DID share it, which is why I have this conflict.

As a writer, I’ve always believed that fiction can be more powerful than fact.

Fiction can give readers a window into mindsets you’d never imagine before, because you can connect more easily with fictional characters than real people on the news. That’s why Uncle Tom’s Cabin was so critical in the battle against slavery: it didn’t just gave a face to slavery, it let readers experience the characters’ lives directly. People got to see the struggles and suffering firsthand, feel the rising crescendo of hope each time freedom is in reach, and the soul-crushing despair every time that hope gets dashed by outside forces.

Fiction may not always be “true” or even “accurate,” but it can help us understand other people, see them as fellow humans, in ways that nonfiction just can’t. It can evoke emotions, empathy and familiarity in a reader that a news story or biography can’t capture because it draws you directly into their world.

And it’s that part—the part where readers enter this fictional world to connect to characters they’ll never meet—that leads to the other power of fiction that many people overlook:

Fiction has the ability to help readers persevere.

How many people reading this have used books to get away from trouble in their lives? To take a breather from all their anxieties and stress, and dive head-first into this other world for just a moment, where nothing else matters? How many people reading this had their whole lives changed by reading a story where a character’s words resonated with them? Where it helped them come to an epiphany about how to do better, how to be better.

Sometimes, the world is too overwhelming and we need to escape it. That’s the beauty of fiction. It lets us go to a world where our problems just don’t matter. Even if the world in question is worse than our own, it can still be a relief and give us hope because hey, at least we’re not living in 1984 or the Hunger Games, right? Stories are what keeps many people going through the hardest time, what gives them hope that life isn’t utterly hopeless.

And even after a story is finished, whether it’s fan fiction, a book, a show, or any other medium, that story will have a special place in people’s hearts. Many people will go back to those stories years later when they’re faced with immense stress and need a break from the real world, so that they can dive into the world that helped them persevere the last time they felt so bad. Just having a copy of it on hand can be a source of comfort even if you never read it again.

I want to highlight one phrase Kurikuri used in her post to describe how people feel writing stories about police and heroes: "fun and escapist”. That’s honestly so accurate, those stories are escapist, and that is why I’m so conflicted.

Stories about superheroes, while technically revolving around themes of law enforcement, are a form of escapism FROM police corruption.

There’s a reason that superhero comics are so popular in America. Superheroes appeal to a natural desire for justice because as so aptly pointed out, the real world doesn’t always HAVE that justice. It gives an ideal for people to aspire to, a glimpse of what could be, what should be. (Come to think of it, that’s probably why I hate the DC cinematic universe so much, it’s skewed way too much to favor the villains/antagonists and maximize suffering for the good guys.)

Right now, the world is full of more injustice than ever before. I can’t turn on the news without feeling my rage and stress boil over. Every day it gets worse and worse somehow, and I (and many others) genuinely fear that the United States may be heading towards a civil war this November. Donald Trump’s voice alone is enough to make my blood boil at this point.

I, and many others, turn to fan fiction so I can break away from reality because that amount of rage and fear just isn’t healthy.

I don’t have depression, or anxiety, or an abusive family, or a chronic illness. I’m not at risk of being made homeless anytime soon, nor do I need to worry about bills right now or going hungry. I’m a privileged white girl who has barely anything to worry about. What I’m saying is I’m fucking lucky and I know it, but I STILL can’t stand thinking about the state of the world and need to get the fuck away from it to take a breather for my own mental health.

And I also know that many people don’t have that option because their situation is so bad, they NEED to be aware of it at all times.

In the past when writing for other fandoms, I’ve had people tell me my fan fiction was the reason they did not commit suicide.

In my early college years I fell into the creepypasta community and was pretty active in it, especially on deviantArt. I don’t know if that particular fandom’s subject and focus makes it more appealing to teenagers going through rough times or what, but I swear, more than half the people I spoke to suffered from some form of mental illness, abusive or broken family and home situations, bullying, and every other way the world can screw someone over through means beyond their control.

During that time, a few readers left comments that waiting for my stories to update were what kept them going. They didn’t explicitly say that it was the only reason they didn’t kill themselves. It was more just remarks like, “Your writing is the only thing keeping me going.”

I’m not vain enough to believe my stories are so good, it made people decide to continue living JUST to see what happens next. Suicidal thoughts and urges are much more complex than that. But it’s still not something you expect to hear on something you write for fun.

I’ve thought about it a lot over the years, and I’ve come to the conclusion that it probably wasn’t because my stories were "just that good.” I think it was because they needed something to cling to in bleak times. That sometimes at the lowest point where all seems lost, people need just one little thought, just the smallest thing to push away those dark urges before they could fully overwhelm them. Something like, “If I die now, I won’t get to see how that story ends.” It’s such a small thing, but having something to look forward to can be so powerful in fighting off impulsive decisions.

It’s made me hyper-aware of just how powerful writing is.

To me, I see writing as a way of helping others. I give people that option for escape. It’s a large part of why I update on a regular, weekly schedule, and why I published extra chapters when the pandemic got announced and when the riots started. People need that comfort, that little break from reality to just sit and breathe so they can get through the rest of the day. I can’t do much to fix the world, but I can at least give people that.

Right now, people need that escape more than ever.

And deleting the stories is taking that escape away and causing MORE stress.

In times like this, people often turn to the stories they know will help most, and plenty of people in fandoms will first search up their favorite ships. They look for fluff, smut, angst... It helps people feel better to focus on these two people who are obviously in love as they work through their troubles.

Many times, readers will be more drawn to stories in the canon universe than radical AUs set in other universes. That’s how they were introduced to those characters. I myself can enjoy no-power and fantasy AUs sometimes, but what I really crave are how they interact in the canon world because that’s the world and versions of them I want to see the most. By deleting EVERY SINGLE STORY IN THE CANON UNIVERSE, that option was removed.

In many of the stories that were deleted, the characters’ careers were honestly a minor facet of the story. Some used it to establish the setting, such as treating injuries after a patrol. Some just simply used it to explain they work at UA, a school for teaching kids with superpowers. Some just had them work as heroes because it’s set in the canon universe, and never directly show ANTTHING about the work.

I’m not always looking for a story about how being a hero shapes and impacts their lives, and most of those stories that got deleted AREN’T about being a hero. That’s just one piece of their character, it’s far from the focal point. It could honestly be removed from several of them without changing the rest of the story.

I can get wanting to make a political point and I respect that, but by deleting those stories, you’ve taken away a key source of comfort from hundreds, thousands of people. By deleting the stories, you’re making the stress worse.

On Saturday night, I realized several of my favorite stories are suddenly gone. I knew Kurikuri had deleted a bunch of her stories, but I hadn’t realized just how many of them I liked. Some of them I’ve specifically sought out to reread multiple times in the past, never really paying attention to the author. Realizing they’re just gone caused me heavy stress because it made me paranoid about all these other stories I like to reread. I don’t expect those stories to be around forever, but I still didn’t expect them to vanish so suddenly. I never thought I’d need to download them to make sure I’d still be able to read them while the site is still up.

I spent hours searching out specific stories to see if they were written by her, and make sure they’re not gone forever. I have no way of knowing which ones she’d written and deleted because there’s not exactly a list out there anymore. My desperate search for those stories and one in particular (which I still haven’t found) contributed to the lack of sleep I got that night.

And I need to reiterate: I am mentally healthy and have no major stresses in my immediate life. And that’s why I’m hyper-aware of how this stress will affect people who AREN’T as lucky as I am.

If an author decides to delete their stories because they feel the stories themselves push harmful values or themes, fine. If they’re getting harassed, or it reminds them of a bad time in the lives, or they just don’t like that story anymore, okay. I can respect that and accept it.

But these stories were deleted for the EXACT reasons that people will be looking for them now more than ever, and that’s where I draw the line.

This applies to ALL fandoms.

If you as a fan fiction writer have more than, say, 100 kudos on a completed story or one-shot, there’s a good chance people will read and reread your story in stressful times. If you have a reasonably popular story that updates on a regular or even semi-regular basis, there is a chance that someone is using it as a lifeline to have something to look forward to while the rest of their lives go to hell. Maybe not because they specifically love it, but because it gives them something routine.

I want to make it clear that it’s not our job to care for other people’s mental health. Fan fiction writers don’t have an obligation to people, we’re doing it for fun first and foremost. We’re not some sort of saviors, and we shouldn’t think of ourselves that way or we can honestly screw people up worse. We’re not obligated to write these stories JUST for our fans.

At most, our stories are sources of support and comfort for readers. A little break from reality. If writing a story is causing you more stress than enjoyment, stop. Fan fiction, and all other fan media and stories in general, is ultimately created for the creator’s enjoyment more than anything.

Your own mental health comes first. Don’t set yourself on fire to keep other people warm.

But with how utterly fucked and unfair the world is right now, people need those stories now more than ever. So if you’ve got a story out there that’s fairly popular, please, please, PLEASE be mindful of your readers before deciding to delete it. Now is the absolute last time people need more stress trying to find a single story. And if you’re going to delete it, maybe give readers a heads up so that those who need it or have some powerful attachment to it for all the reasons I’ve discussed here can download a copy for their own personal use.

Don’t hurt your readers to make a point.

[vampiresuns]

Manmarziyan | Haider x Anatole

✴︎ 5.3k words. The Earth has no option but to orbit the Sun, and Sun has no choice but to shine on Earth — only it is a choice, one that Haider and Anatole cannot keep pretending they do not make.

Haider belongs to @atypicalacademic. CWs: contains mentions of 🍋, though it’s not 🍋

Translations, courtesy of Kani: Priyo - darling, Amar shona - my love, Amar Jibon - love of my life.

Title song: Manmarziyan - from the Lootera OST.

Anatole had been learning about the different religions and belief systems of the world since he was little. From mythologies to now-a-days-religions, he found the subject fascinating, even if he didn’t have a personal sense of religious faith. He had done so with Amparo’s and her grandparents, with Milenko, his mothers and his uncle Blasio, and he had done so with his great grandfather’s one. 

The belief system Valerian had been raised in had common motifs with others, but it was a little different to what Anatole was used to. He didn’t quite understand this Death of theirs very much, even though Valerian had told him neither did he when he was his age. However, it made up for being the most confusing with having the best stories around it, in Anatole’s opinion. 

One of Anatole’s favourites was the story of the Sun and the Earth.

The Earth had become enchanted with how beautiful the Sun was. Though it understood the Sun could not always be around —that the object of its affections being gone was necessary so green could grow on Earth, for the Rain too was a blessing— being apart from it was unbearable. 

Thus, the Earth came up with a way to always be close to the Sun. The Earth shook itself and roared until from its flats it created mountain ranges all over the world, each of them competing with each other to see which one would be the tallest, and the closest to the Sun. The Mountains were divine and magnificent, beautiful and awe inspiring, commanders of great respect. 

And just like the Earth had aimed for, some of them had grown so high they could pierce the clouds. 

So the Earth told the Sun: “I did this so we could be together.”

To which the Sun told the Earth: “My foolish beloved! Doing all of this when I shine on you so we can be together. I nurture your plants and I shine on your oceans so I can be with you, and you with me. I have never left you.”

The Earth didn’t understand. It thought the Sun had not liked it’s gift. When the Earth said as much, the Sun laughed.

It told the Earth: “I do love your gift. Not loving your gift would mean I do not love you.”

The Sun cradled the Earth in its hands and with a kiss it said: “And you’ll find not loving you is something impossible to me.”

✴︎ ✴︎ ✴︎

His knock on the door was answered with a distracted ‘come in’ from the other side. His uncle was barefoot, curled up in one of his sofas, reading a book, his reading glasses sitting on the edge of his nose. Anatole called for his attention, and he lifted his index. 

“I am almost done with this chapter, Aelius.” 

Anatole waited, trying not to fidget too much — his uncle always noticed his fidgeting. Other people could take it as talking with his hands, thinking, or impatience, but not Valeriy. Fooling his uncle was as difficult as his uncle fooling him. Instead, he occupied his hands looking at the volumes in his personal parlour’s library, until he heard Valerius close the book and fold his glasses away. 

“Sorry, Aelius, I did not want to lose my track, and this book is very interesting.” 

“Is it the one about the art smugglers you told me about last week?” 

“Very much so. I finally had time to put my hands on it again — wine, dear nephew? I want to see what your coffee-ruined taste buds have to say about my first experimental batch.” 

Anatole indulged him. When he was his private self, Anatole had a very hard time denying his uncle. Especially now that their relationship had improved significantly after it’s mishaps, and he was ever so eager to have his opinion on things. Like he did when he was young, and prepared to fight every Prakran and Balkovian political office to have his nephew working with him. 

“What is it?” He asked as he poured some wine into a glass. “We’ve both established I cannot lie to you, because you notice, and you cannot lie to me, because I notice. So better get out with it instead you pretend it’s nothing.” 

“I need a favour.” 

“Who in the Court do I need to have a chat with?” 

Anatole laughed, accepting the glass of wine when he was sure he wouldn’t spill it. “Nothing like that, this is personal.” 

“Go on. Don’t clam up now, sit with me and give me something I can tease you about.” 

He hesitated for a moment, exhaling slowly, biding his time to make up the courage to just say it. His uncle raised an eyebrow at him. “Out with it. Unless you poisoned someone, nothing you say can be worse than something I’ve done, so do go on.” 

“Val.” 

“Tsk, don’t worry about me, and don’t ‘Val’ me. What is it?” 

Right, better get on with it. “I wanted to know if you could help me find a painting by Thasveer Wazim.”

His uncle looked clearly surprised, putting his glass down, and curling his fingers against his own lips. “Wanting to start your own collection?” 

“It’s a gift for someone else.” 

“Why haven’t I met him? Or them?” 

Anatole made a non-committal gesture and Valerius actually laughed. 

“You began going out with your someone, who must either have a streak for Zadithi painters or is actually related to Wazim, and you didn’t plan to take it this far, but now you’re scarily fond of them”. 

Anatole tapped the side of his nose. “Like a fool.” 

“You’re a lot of things, but not a fool. Who is it then? I will spare myself the comments about his suitability for you, but I will not spare myself the remarks. If we’re going on a little hunt on auction houses and private collectors, at the very least tell me his or their name.” 

“His,” Anatole paused. “It’s his son.” 

“You fell in love with the line of an overthrown aristocrat,” Valerius laughed again, and Anatole threw a small cushion at him, which he caught. 

“How charming of you,” the comment made Anatole roll his eyes. “What’s his occupation now?” 

“He owns a restaurant.” 

“From riches to rags, but well, my great grandmother was a smuggler.” 

“And your grandmother, a partisan.” 

Valerius winced. “Don’t remind me.”

✴︎ ✴︎ ✴︎

Anatole had known Haider Wazim for around a year, they'd been sleeping together for 11 months, and they still hadn’t made anything official, even if they both had agreed that in a month, they’d do something for the year mark. Haider wanted to take Anatole to his studio in the Catclaw desert. Anatole has been in love with Haider Wazim for around 9 months and three weeks, and he still hasn’t told him.

He was already aware how much of a bad idea it was continuing to keep it to himself, as he was aware his ‘casual’ arrangement had absolutely backfired, and given how Haider was, it was questionable if it was ever meant to work. He knew. He lived with that knowledge every day, every time they touched with a little more meaning, every time the sentiments and intentions in Haider’s words drew past his barriers. Because yes, Anatole could use his magic to check on Haider’s feelings, but he felt like it would be an intromision. If Haider wanted him in any other way than sexual, with the added benefit of the pleasure of his company, he would’ve said something, right? 

What Anatole didn’t need right now was his friends and cousins questioning his logic. He knew. 

“My guy, listen,” Leonore said, clicking his mouth, “you are the smartest person I know but I also think you’re being purposefully daft, like proper, massive stupid.”

“I hate to agree with him—”

“Aw. Asra, you warm my heart.”

“Anyway, as I was saying, I know Haider, and I think there’s a chance you’re both acting the same way because no one has said anything. Anatole I’m not going to tell you what to do, but don’t you think it would be better to just say it?”

“He might not, but I will,” Amparo said, “so I compel you to say something. You both are pining, he is acting like your official date, and you’re the Consul. Don’t you think it’s better to clear that up?”

“There’s nothing to clear up, it’s not like I’m madly in love with him or whatever.”

“You know, you are amazing at redirecting topics when you don’t want to answer something, and you might be good at doing the Diplomatic vague statements at work,” Medea said, tenderness in her voice, tenderness that shifted into an accusation as she poked her finger at his chest, “but you suck at doing it with yourself.”

One of the Palazzo’s staff cleared their throat, telling Anatole Haider was looking for him. 

“I asked if there was anything I could do for him, and he asked about you, sir.”

“Right, right, I’ll be right back, I’ll find him, thank you.” 

Once he and his friends were alone again, he was met with no nonsense stares from all Leonore, Medea, Asra, Amparo and Milenko. The latter snorted. 

“I don’t remember your non-official affairs, the non presented to the public, the ‘oh, I’m doing this one for me’ deals to have the power to summon you through your staff. How was it Amparo?”

Amparo’s impression of Anatole had always been good. She cleared her throat. “‘Wait until everyone is gone, and then we’ll attend to each other, does that work for you?’”

“Oh, fuck off. Fine, fine, fine, I’ll tell him soon enough okay? Gods, you’re all terrible.”

“We love you, and we don’t want you to be hurt, or sad, especially by your own hand when there’s no reason.”

“You don’t know that, Amparo, I don’t know that.”

“May the moon hold me tenderly in the face of stubborn asses,” she said, “what happened to the brutally hopeful man I knew in my cousin?”

“Oh, I never said I didn’t hope, I said I didn’t know.”

“Smartass.”

“Oh, my, it might be that we are related, Amparo Elira.”

She stuck out her tongue at him as he straightened his clothes from imaginary wrinkles, finding a mirror to freshen himself up some, evaluating his look. 

“I can feel you all looking at me, and no, this isn’t because I’m about to see Haider.”

“Stop lying,” Leonore said, walking in circles and extending the final g. “I already have enough of your betrayals with you picking up his pronunciation on rasgullas.”

After Anatole was gone, they all stayed behind a bit longer. Amparo was the first to break the silence, asking if they all wanted to bet that Anatole would not actually have the conversation with Haider. As bets came and went, Milenko remained quiet. He disagreed: Anatole would have the conversation with Haider, because he was terrible at lying to himself. He was fairly sure Haider felt the same way about him, too.

However, they would have the conversation at the worst possible time. “Trust the Earth to be as stubborn as the Sun,” he said with a sarcastic snort.

✴︎ ✴︎ ✴︎

In his defence, Anatole did try to have the conversation with Haider. He didn’t try very hard, but he tried. It just so happened that he hated to admit it, because it meant he would have to deal with feelings he didn’t precisely want to deal with outside of himself — the possibility of being rejected if he wanted something more, twisted him up too much. He had tried battling with it, reasoning with it, and just letting it past and taking assertive action and it still loomed over him. 

His friends were aware, his family was aware. Haider had met his parents last November, for Anatole’s birthday. They both had mentioned how happy they were for Anatole, that he had found someone who loved him so transparently. When their son told them this wasn’t that kind of relationship, if it was a relationship at all, they both exchanged concerned looks.

His mother had said: “Oh, honey,” and gave him a pat on the cheek.

Anatole never introduced people he was ‘just sleeping with’ to his family. Ever. He didn’t let those people become part of his routine, he didn’t let them take care of him, he very specifically never subbed for them in sex, because while he did enjoy it from time to time, it required him to feel safe in order to even consider the possibility. Haider had done all of that without even being his boyfriend yet.

They were celebrating anniversaries without being boyfriends yet. Maybe he was a fool. 

In his defence, he had tried. He had tried during said not-anniversary trip and failed catastrophically. He had planned to say ‘Haider, I believe we need to talk’. He had said: “Haider, I want you” instead. When Haider grabbed him, lifting him by putting his hands under his thighs, Anatole had wrapped his legs around his waist instead of stopping any of them to have the dreaded conversation. 

In his defence, Haider was a very good kisser. In his defence, it was very hard not to be tangled in each other. They had begun seeing each other merely because they thought they were hot and flirting was nice and came easy between them. Anatole had a mental catalogue of looks he found positively indecent that Haider had thrown him — categorised alphabetically, by situation, and by date — and he knew he had thrown Haider some which were equally disrespectful.

He had also said Haider had an ass like those very thick and fluffy pancakes, and given a dreamy whistle about other bits of Haider more than once. Like his arms, or his lips. Or his dick if he was going to be honest. 

The first morning of their not-anniversary Catclaw trip, Haider had made him breakfast, Anatole had asked why he was always so good to him, Haider replied “Oh, you know why”. Anatole had gotten him a variety of art supplies and a couple of sketching notebooks as a present, when Haider asked, his reply was the same. It’s what they always said when any of them wanted to say ‘because I love you’ but back tracked on it. Both of them blissfully unaware they were doing the exact same thing. 

He had spent the weekend doing some short hikes and looking at the stars with him — or looking at his hand while Haider pointed at things. When they weren’t acting like a couple, Anatole was too busy putting Haider to his knees. So, once again, in his defence, he was distracted. 

✴︎ ✴︎ ✴︎

Anatole rolled around the bed finding a cold spot to put his feet against, bundling himself up in sheets that weren’t his own. He was still too asleep to register the hour, or the lack of Haider at the other side of the bed, let alone the smells or sounds coming from the kitchen. 

He almost registered it but sleep won, his mind going to his private, faraway dreamland as he slept naked in Haider’s bed, even if mornings like this were on themselves a dream. 

He would only fully open his eyes a quarter to ten, half complaining about Haider kneeling by the bed and giving him small, light kisses, and fully complaining when Haider tried to move again, dragging him back to the bed with him. 

“You’re my prisoner now,” he mumbled, groggy. 

“What about your willing captive?” 

Haider’s fingers had begun tracing figures over his spine. 

“Hm, you can’t say things like that so early in the morning, or I’ll end up saying very compromising things.” 

Haider chuckled, pressing a kiss to the crown of Anatole’s head. “Why?” 

“You know why.”

✴︎ ✴︎ ✴︎

When he returned to work on Tuesday, Medea raised an eyebrow at him.

“I promise I will talk with him, alright?”

After that she dropped the topic, more interested in knowing if her friend had had a good trip rather than telling him what to do.

Anatole had always danced around people he wanted until he knew he could make a strategic move without stepping on false, prone to collapsing ground. Furthermore, this wasn’t the first time Medea has seen him do this dance where feelings were reciprocated but no one did anything. It had happened with Leonore’s older brother, Navneet, it had happened with Julian Devorak. Medea has known Anatole for 10 years. The preliminary dance wasn’t surprising. 

However, both those instances had their reasons not to prosper, finding friendship in the two men instead of a romantic relationship, and they didn’t last as long as the Haider dance was lasting. Granted, one could argue the Navneet one had lasted a couple of years, but once Anatole had become aware of it, it burned and crashed in three months, both parties moving on with their lives. 

This was an abnormally long dance. 

During the two months after their getaway, Anatole’s job got in the way. It seemed more busy than usual, giving him little respite for anything outside of it. When he did get some of those blissful moments, he preferred winding down rather than having emotionally charged and stressful conversations. He loved his job, but it was requiring a lot of his attention, and Anatole wasn’t sure if he would be able to be at his best capacity if everything went wrong with Haider now. 

Something inside him asked about the possibility it went right. Then, Anatole thought, it wouldn’t be a problem, but he would prefer to gamble with the scenario when he wasn’t about to leave on a diplomatic trip.

✴︎ ✴︎ ✴︎

Along the same time Anatole was supposed to be on his diplomatic trip, Haider would be visiting his family for three weeks. Anatole would be close enough to make a detour and see Haider, if he wanted to; given both their travelling schedules, if Anatole took a week after his work trip was done, he could return to Vesuvia with Haider. 

He wanted Haider to want him to be a part of his life to that point, he wanted what they already had but without the weight of yearning and the domesticity between them. He wanted to hear stories from his childhood from his grandparents, and he wanted to have the option to wear one of his scarves or shirts to work, because they shared a room, because they shared all of them with each other. His issue was he had no excuse to shimmy himself into it, nor he felt he had a right to meet Haider’s family, even if he would love to. 

He’d do anything for Haider. He didn’t know how it made him feel.

Around two weeks before he left, Haider and him were standing close to each other, Haider hugging Anatole from behind, both of them swaying to imaginary music. Haider’s thumbs went back and forth over Anatole’s sides, making him want to feel them over his naked skin. 

When Haider began asking about his work trip, he didn’t expect him to ask what he himself had not dared to suggest, the words echoing in Anatole’s head and his heart on his throat. 

“If you wanted, you could make a detour and stay with us. I know it’s not wise, and out of place for me to ask, but I’d love you to meet—”

“Yes. Yes, I’ll go. I’d love to go.”

✴︎ ✴︎ ✴︎

Nadia’s green light was both a relief and a nightmare. The former because he would hate to make Haider hope for something and then take it back. Anatole wasn’t someone who took, he was someone who delivered and was proud of it. The latter because he would meet Haider’s family despite them being formally nothing. 

Natiqa didn’t miss a chance to tease him as soon as she was informed she would be delivering a written report on Anatole’s behalf to her sister. Also involved in the trip as a diplomatic envoy, Anatole’s old acquaintance took more than one chance to remind Anatole of the Vesuvian saying about Consuls and their spouses. 

“Don’t you say that ‘good Counts make their Consul their friend, while good Consuls keep a happy marriage in their beds’?” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Anatole said without looking up from the report he was writing. 

“Given that began with your family one would think you do.” 

“We’re not together, Tiqa.”

“Nana, you’re meeting his family.” 

“I know.” 

Though she made a few more jokes at his stake — which was fair, Anatole thought — all she said on the matter was she was there if he wanted to talk. “Even if I haven’t forgiven you for preferring the Vesuvian Court to working with me, but we are still friends, Radošević, because I’m gracious like that.”

Out of time crunches, they didn’t quite get around that chat but Anatole appreciated it all the same. Soon came the time they had to depart, Anatole handing her the full volume of his preliminary Diplomatic report to Nadia before hugging Natiqa good-bye. 

“You’re adorable, Radošević, I’ve never met anyone with more worries, and Nadia’s my sister.”

“I don’t know how to take that.”

“As a compliment.” 

As Natiqa embarked herself in a Vesuvian-bound ship, she turned away to yell at him: “You’re a great catch, Radošević, anyone who doesn’t see that is an idiot!”

Her cat-like, dastardly grin was all the confirmation he needed to know she had done that on purpose.

✴︎ ✴︎ ✴︎

The trip towards Haider and his family was uneventful. Anatole occupied most of his time reading for leisure, or finding things to occupy the passing hours with. It was an 8 hours ride, the distance too short to merit taking a ship there. He arrived past sunset but before the night fully settled in.

Haider was waiting for him, wearing a sky blue scarf that contrasted with his mahogany eyes and his black hair. Anatole didn’t think of it twice, running towards Haider on impulse. He caught him in his arms and spun them around while they hugged. He didn’t let Anatole go when they stopped spinning. 

“Can I kiss you hello?” 

“After not having seen you in so many weeks, I surely would hope you did.” 

Haider, as always, indulged him.

He offered to help carry his things inside, Anatole joking about how he should be thankful he was only carrying two trunks. His third one along with the rest of his things — except for his sword — had gone back to Vesuvia with Natiqa. Anatole accepted the offer, but not before taking a piece of chalk out of his bag and writing a series of glyphs over his luggage. He took a deep breath before putting his hands over each inscription and releasing, the words shimmering and disappearing into the material of the trunks, imbuing themselves in it. Haider couldn’t help staring, marvelling at this facet of  Anatole.

When they both lifted the trunks, they were almost weightless. 

“Comes in handy, doesn’t it?” 

Haider and him exchanged talk about their specific journeys, what the former had been up to with his family, and how Anatole’s work trip had gone, as well as his trip there. 

The closer they got to the house, the more nervous he got. 

“They will love you, I’m sure.” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

“You always frown in the same way when you’re nervous.” 

“And how’s that?”

“As if someone had put some really atrocious ensemble together but you were obliged by politeness to not say anything. Something that’s awful in a non-charming way.” 

“That’s certainly one way of putting it. It’s just— it’s just I haven’t met anyone’s parents in a very long time, that’s all.” 

What he didn’t say was: What will be the use of them loving me, if there’s a possibility you might not. Not how I’d like. 

They were inside now; it was too late to turn back. 

“Everyone, this is Aelius Anatole, my— I mean, the Consul of Vesuvia.” 

“Hi,” Anatole said, with his most confident smile, “it’s a pleasure to meet you all.”

✴︎ ✴︎ ✴︎

That might have become the most delightful week of Anatole’s life and he still hadn’t had the conversation with Haider, his excuse now being it was a terrible idea to have such a discussion during a trip. 

Haider’s family was lovely. Lively and colourful, a myriad of humbled aristocrats and bohemians who had preferred a life lived with others, for others and for art in its many forms, than a life of privilege. In so many ways it reminded him of his own, with its mismatched ends and its stories that seemed almost like legends of their own. 

There was also Haider. So much of him, under the sun and under the moonlight, clothed and unclothed, in the privacy of their bedroom and in furtive looks stolen when they thought no one else could see. There was Haider and the water, Haider and the kites, Haider and his hands on him, and his lips on his own.

There was him on the veranda, trying to do mehendi on Anatole’s hands and there was them ruining it on accident, too overtaken by craving each other. Most of the paste had ended up on Haider’s skin, but some had on his kurta too. No one had come to retrieve them, so they had no reason to stop. Wasn’t it always like that anyway? Once they began, they couldn’t stop, too much unsaid between them as always, too many things to act on?

Anatole did not regret missing dinner. He was too busy riding Haider in the veranda. He didn’t even mind when, later that night, they both were having dinner in the kitchen, wrapped around each other and looking like a mess of disheveled clothes and henna stains when Haider’s grandfather walked in. Haider had felt compelled to explain themselves, which ended up being more embarrassing than anything else, since Asghar clearly did not buy into Haider’s ‘I was showing him around and Anatole tripped’ excuse. 

His cousin Shaan had walked into the kitchen to get some water right when Haider was explaining, though he stayed until Asghar was gone to make any comments. 

He took a look at them, and gave them a sly, cheeky look. “Yeah, I’m sure there’s plenty to see.”

Haider’s blush intensified, but Anatole raised an eyebrow at him, a cat-like grin on his face. “I don’t know,” he said, nonchalant as could be, throwing a look at Haider’s chest, “I’ve seen that before, so not really.”

Shaan laughed, stating he liked Anatole and asking if they could keep him. Anatole didn’t say how, if Haider wanted to, he’d stay forever.

✴︎ ✴︎ ✴︎

Anatole should’ve known his incapacity to say anything to Haider would come back to bite him on the ass. He had slept in — courtesy of not having had a vacation in a while and staying up until a little too late with Haider. Their pillow-talk had drawn out to the point of becoming another round, so they didn’t go to bed until two am. Haider was gone with Shaan and some of the others in the morning, having left a note and breakfast for him, telling him to enjoy a lay in as much as he wanted. 

Haider came back around lunchtime, walking into the kitchen to find Anatole helping prepare it, looking worried in the way he always did when he tried to pretend whatever which troubled him wasn’t important. He looked that way all over lunch, and he continued to do so when Anatole pulled him away into their shared bedroom to ask him if he was okay.

“I’m just tired, priyo, that’s all.”

“Seriously? You’re going to hit me with the I’m tired line?

“I thought you didn’t do the language magic thing with me,” Haider said, trying to joke.

Anatole pursed his lips. “You’re evading the topic. We don’t have to talk if you don’t want to, but I’m here for you, if you do want to talk.”

Haider sat down on the bed, he sat up again, turning over himself to look at anywhere but at Anatole, until he was looking only at him. “Nana, why did you come?”

“What?”

“You took a purposeful deviation from a work trip. You skipped personally informing the Countess of a serious enough diplomatic trip to send her Consul to.”

“I don’t think Nadia minds me taking a couple of weeks off, since I’m always working, and I sent a full written report with Natiqa, so I don’t see where your question is going.”

“But you always say you don’t do those things.”

“Haider, I can’t even remember the last time I said such a thing. I’m here, isn’t that what matters?”

“Yes, but why, Nana?”

“Oh, Haider, you know why.”

“What if I don’t?”

If someone would’ve had access to Anatole’s mind in that moment, he would’ve heard high pitched screaming. A note so high it was only audible to dogs, never mind Anatole’s voice register wasn’t nearly as high as such a thing suggested. Dreads settled in his gut as they started one of the most stupid circular arguments Anatole has ever witnessed or been part of. It was like there was a duplicate of himself watching them fight, shaking his head at him, saying ‘I told you so’  while he realised that if this was it, if for some reason this was how it ended, as dramatic as it sounded, he didn’t know if he’d ever fully come back from it. 

The argument was too stupid for Anatole to let it fester any further. 

“How can you not know that I love you, Haider? How can you not realise that I’m in love with you?” 

Well, he said it. It was out. The only way to get out of this conversation was there was no way to get out of that conversation now. Unless, of course Anatole climbed out of the window without breaking a leg in the process. 

“Iloveyoutoo,” Haider blurted out without missing a beat. A somehow candid and terrified look on his face, which went away when he repeated the words, more slowly, more surely. “I love you too, amar shona.” 

The certainty in his words made Anatole forget how to breathe. “You— you love me too?”

“I do. More than anything.” 

Anatole barely let him finish that sentence. He made his way across the room in a flash, walking over the bed (thank the Gods he was barefoot) to close the distance between them as fast as he could. He climbed on Haider, pulling him into a kiss, and Haider caught him in his arms — Haider would always catch him, Haider would always be there, and he was a fool not to realise it sooner. 

“I love you,” Anatole said against his lips, “I’m so sorry I didn’t say it sooner.” 

Haider kissed him back, wrapping his arms around him like Anatole could evaporate in front of him at any moment. All his family had told him not to let him go, and now, now that he knew himself loved and Anatole knew he loved him, he would hold onto him until he had a chance to say it for all the months he wanted and didn’t. 

“I love you too,” he said between kisses. “Amar shona, Amar Jibon.” 

Anatole knew the language. He didn’t need Haider to translate to know he just called him both ‘my love’ and ‘love of my life’. Haider repeated it in every space between kisses where he could fit the words, over and over again.

✴︎ ✴︎ ✴︎

When he was around ten and Valerian had told him the story of the Earth and the Sun for the hundredth time, he said he wished someone loved him like that one day. 

Valerian had kissed his forehead. “You will find your Earth, I’m sure of it.”

Now that he was lying on top of Haider, spent and happier than he had ever been, he knew he had. 

[ouyangzizhensdad]

BIRDS OF PREY WAS SO GOOD I LOVED IT SO MUCH. like I went in expecting to have fun, but it was a legitimately great movie and really well put together! every criticism i've seen has basically boiled down to either a man being "i am upset when we are not about me" and people either having no critical thinking skills or just taking everything in bad faith tbh! no i am not taking different opinions at this time

Hi Anon, 

Thank you for coming into my askbox to talk about BOP ❤😌❤ 

Male reviewers were so fucking unfair toward the movie, and men who hated the movie because the women were not filmed with a male gaze are so fucking whiny--god forbid you are forced to watch beautiful women wearing flattering clothes filmed like they are actual people and not just sexual objects for you to gawk at..... the nerve of this movie....... 

Having not watched Suicide Squad and generally not being a big fan of the MCU/DCU, I decided to watch BOP basically because I was like, I’m too gay not to watch it 🤷‍♂️ And I too was more than pleasantly surprised!

First of all, it’s easy to forget how nice it is to watch a movie that was clearly made by women. It is really the little things that make you go “wow, you couldn’t have had this in a movie about men directed by men with men bts”. And I’m not just talking about Harley Quinn’s costumes or the fact that the movie centers literally on the theme of the emancipation of five women: it’s also the small stuff, like when Harley stops to give Black Canary a hair tie during the fight.

Then, the movie has a distinctive and tonally-coherent style. One thing that bores me about most DCU/MCU I’ve seen is the distinctive lack of style. This movie doesn’t lack any, and it fits very well with the tone of the movie while also helping with the characterisation of the narrator/main character. The first portion of the police station fight? Fucking genius. I’m really curious to see what director Cathy Yan will make after this, because she seems like she’ll continue to make movies with a clear point of view. 

The storytelling is competent and surprisingly nuanced at times for a Hollywood movie, and the people who say otherwise, I agree, do it either in bad faith or because they just don’t understand how storytelling work. The Honest Movie channel thing, for example, criticized the movie because it’s supposed to be about the “BOP” but they only start fighting together around the end of the movie. And it’s such a fucking dumb critique that it’s hard to know where to begin to address it. And for a movie that is so fucking blunt about its central theme to the point where it’s like.... too much on the nose (”Turns out I was not the only dame in Gotham looking for emancipation”, “Do you know what a Harlequin is?/A Harlequin is nothing without its master”, Black Canary literally angry singing ‘it’s a man’s world’ while looking at Roman Sionis), people really seem to miss it, somehow 🤷‍♂️ ? 

The production is also pretty amazing! The costumes are awesome, the set design is full of amazing details (I particularly loved all the bottles of dark vinegar in Harley’s apartment), the OST has many bops and it is certainly not as on-the-nose as the fucking Suicide Squad soundtrack, the fight choregraphy is really beautiful and impactful and engaging, and I’m forgetting to praise other departments but they deserve it too! 

The movie is not perfect, but for a commercial movie it’s pretty much at the top of what you can expect in terms of storytelling and craft and performances. And it’s a good movie centered on women, and a diverse group of women at that! 

[pikapeppa]

Fenris/f!Hawke and the Inquisition: Promise Me (Reprise)

Chapter 64 of Lovers In A Dangerous Time (i.e. Fenris the Inquisitor) is up on AO3. 

In which the crew head to the Darvaraad and beyond. Also known as the most epic and heart-pounding scramble in any game I’ve ever played, which I love/hate with every fiber of my heart. 

I made a Spotify playlist for this chapter for those who like listening to music while they read; all songs from the Trespasser OST. 

~9500 words; only an excerpt here. Read the whole chapter on AO3.  

*************************

Sera grimaced as she stepped through the eluvian. “Feels fuzzy here. That’s weird. Trees are nice, though.”

Toby whined and tucked his tail between his legs, and Cassandra frowned at Sera. “It certainly does not feel fuzzy here. It feels very strange. Why is it difficult to breathe? And are you talking about those dead trees?”

Sera’s eyebrows shot up. “Dead? They’re not dead! Covered in pretty blooms, more like.” She gave Cassandra a sympathetic look. “I think your hat’s making your brain a bit wibbly.”

Hawke looked up from where she was rubbing Toby’s jowls. “I’m sorry to break this to you, Sera, but only you and Fenris can see those flowers.”

“What!” Sera exclaimed. “Don’t be stupid.”

“It’s true,” Rainier told her. “Only elves can see the flowers on those trees.”

Sera’s face went blank. Then she trotted up to Fenris and tugged his sleeve. “I don’t like it here.”

“Nor do I,” he agreed. “We will be out soon.” He led them to the darkened eluvian and looked at Dorian. “You have the keystone?”

“One shiny magic-soaked gem at your service,” Dorian said. He pulled the cloth-covered keystone from his pocket and turned to Bull. “Amatus, do you want to do the honours?”

Bull shrugged. “Sure, why not.” He waited until Dorian touched the keystone to the mirror, then spoke in Qunlat: “Maraas nehraa.”

The eluvian’s surface lit up with a mercurial swirl of purples and pinks and blues. Fenris took a step toward it, but Bull held up a hand. “I’ll go first, boss. If anyone’s guarding the other side, another horned guy coming through will give them pause for a second.”

“Good thinking,” Fenris said. He gestured to the eluvian. “Go on; we will follow.”

Bull disappeared through the eluvian. Fenris followed a moment later to find Bull already embroiled in a battle with three qunari. 

Fenris lit his lyrium marks, then phased behind the nearest javelineer and tore out her heart. Four more qunari were running over to engage, but the rest of Fenris’s companions were stepping through the eluvian one by one, and within a couple of minutes, the qunari were dead and bleeding on the ground.

And Fenris’s hand was frothing with unstable magic. 

“Get back,” he barked at his companions. He took three hasty steps away from them and shoved his focus through the flickering mark.

It exploded with a sickening flare of light. A wave of pain tore its way up to his shoulder, but the pain was blessedly brief before settling back into its usual low-level burn. 

He sighed and flexed his green-stained fingers before looking up. Dorian, Varric, Bull and Rainier simply looked resigned, but Cassandra and Sera looked horrified. 

“Maker,” Cassandra breathed. “Is that what has been happening–?”

Hawke pushed past them and strode over to Fenris. “Come on, let’s go, no time to waste,” she sing-songed. “Qunari to tear apart, Viddasalas to punch in the face – we’ve got a very packed schedule ahead.” She looped her hand through Fenris’s elbow and pulled him toward a long stone bridge that led to the main fortress of the Darvaarad.

“Hang on a minute,” Dorian said as he trotted along beside them. “Why didn’t you want us near the mark when you set it off? Is it not casting barriers anymore?”

“It was casting barriers?” Cassandra said in surprise. 

“For a time, yes,” Fenris said. “But I’m not convinced it will do that anymore. It feels volatile – more so than a few hours ago.” He gave Dorian a frank look. “I’m afraid it will injure you rather than protecting you.”

“Kaffas,” Dorian said glumly. “Just tell us when to duck, then.”

They scurried along the length of the bridge, and Fenris quickly scoped out their surroundings as best he could despite the darkness of night. The fortress ahead was tall and imposing, with a guardhouse in front and a tall stone tower to the left. A few large stone sculptures of qunari warriors decorated the otherwise austere surroundings, and as they neared the end of the bridge, Fenris silently counted the guards that he could see.

Rainier and Bull had apparently been doing the same; as they all hunkered down in the shelter of the bridge’s stone wall, Rainier murmured to them. “Three guards at the stone tower, and I think I spotted one in the guardhouse.” 

“Two in the guardhouse,” Bull corrected. “And four more by the entrance to the keep, so that’s nine in total. We should take them out one at a time, fast, or we’ll have a mess on our hands.” 

“Why one a time?” Hawke asked. “Let’s just plow right in and get this done. I don’t know about the rest of you, but I don’t mind a little mess.” 

Despite her lighthearted words, her fingers were tapping on her knees, and Fenris knew why she was impatient; she wanted to push forward in the hopes that Solas or Fen’Harel or whoever it was would remove his disintegrating mark. 

He lowered his voice. “We can’t risk attracting unwanted attention. We have no way of knowing how many qunari are inside.”

She rolled her eyes. “Fine, fine. Sneaking it is. Who do you want where?”

Fenris looked at his companions. “Bull, Cole, Varric and Sera: you go ahead and take out as many as you can. Cassandra and I will assist if they detect you.” He looked at Hawke and Dorian. “Barriers only for now. No offensive magic unless there’s no other way. It will be too obvious.” He scratched Toby’s ears. “You stay here with me, my friend,” he murmured. “A mabari will be far too noticeable.”  

Toby wagged his tail as the others moved into their positions. Bull and the rogues spread out while Cassandra, Fenris, Hawke and Dorian hid by some bushes near the guardhouse. Fortunately – and somewhat to Fenris’s surprise – the plan worked out perfectly: they took down all nine guards without raising an alarm. 

They reconvened at the main doors to the keep. Varric was the last to join them as he returned from the tower; he was holding a letter in his hand, and his face was surprisingly grim. 

He handed the letter to Bull. “Probably something important in here,” he said. “I found it next to some red lyrium.”

“Red lyrium?” Hawke exclaimed. “How the fuck did the qunari get their hands on red lyrium?”

Bull sighed. “Could have been from a smuggling operation. Contraband Venatori stock that the Viddasala kept for her own purposes.”

Dorian folded his arms. “So we’re not just expecting a lyrium-powered saarebas, but a red-lyrium-powered saarebas? Well, that’s wonderful news.” He raised an eyebrow at Fenris. “I do so love coming on these journeys with you. They do so much to restore my health and my sense of wellbeing.”

“I’m pleased to be of help,” Fenris said dryly. He raised his eyebrows expectantly at Bull, who was frowning as he read the letter. “What’s wrong? What does the letter say?”

Bull scratched his ear. “It’s from a saarebas to a viddathari who was having trouble getting used to the Qun. But…” He shook his head. “I don’t know magic, but this saarebas sounds like a red Templar at the end. Stuff about ‘the song liquid’... ‘it will be hard to find the wisdom in the noise. The noise is an illusion like the darkness, but the walls are real.’”

Cassandra frowned. “He was driven mad, then. A dangerous mage powered by red lyrium.”

Rainier shrugged philosophically. “At least we know ahead of time so we can prepare ourselves.” 

This was little comfort to Fenris. Fighting a foe amplified by red lyrium usually meant Hawke using her light-cage to trap them while Fenris weakened them with sympathetic magic from his lyrium marks, but Fenris didn’t want her using her light-cage spell. Furthermore, they had never fought a mage powered with red lyrium before. Red lyrium warriors were one thing; a red lyrium mage, on the other hand… They had never fought a red lyrium mage before.

He took a deep breath to quash his anxiety and ushered his companions into hiding on each side of the double doors into the keep. Bull pushed open one door and stepped inside, and a couple of minutes later, he poked his head out again. 

“Clear for this first corridor,” he said. “But I hear some kind of mechanical clanking further in. Not sure what it is, though.”

Fenris nodded and ushered the others inside. They padded quietly through the empty halls – suspiciously empty halls that made his skin crawl – and it wasn’t long before they came upon a storeroom filled from floor to ceiling with a multitude of pristinely labelled books and artifacts.

“Andraste’s frilly underthings,” Dorian said in wonder. “Look at all of this. What an incredible collection.”

Sera wrinkled her nose. “Incredible’s one word. ‘Bunch of weird’ is another.”

“Actually, that’s three words,” Dorian said primly, and Sera stuck her tongue out at him. 

Rainier stepped into the room and ran his fingers reverently over a large animal skull. “This is a griffon’s skull,” he said. He looked at the others with wide eyes. “The last griffons died in the Grey Wardens’ care. How did the qunari get their hands on this?”

Cole tilted his head as he studied an uprooted astrarium. “There’s no pain,” he said. “Just lots of… ideas?” He blinked at Fenris. “I’m not the right kind of spirit for this.”

Fenris slowly shook his head, nonplussed by the overwhelming range of objects in this room. He looked at Bull. “They are collecting this for study?”

“Yeah,” Bull said. “Then they’ll destroy it. Or they’re supposed to, at least. But the Viddasala was using lyrium instead of destroying it, so who knows what she has in mind.” His tone was neutral, but his one good eye was wide as he looked around the room. 

Hawke snapped her fingers. “This must be how they got into the eluvians in the first place! Look at what they’ve got here: rare artifacts, enchanted jewelry, books – Maker’s balls, they have a lot of books.”

“No kidding,” Varric said. “The Arishok sacked Kirkwall over just one book, and here they’ve got hundreds.”

Hawke nodded slowly. “It’s knowledge,” she said. “Knowledge and power: the things Morrigan said you need to open eluvians.” She shrugged and patted Toby’s head. “That’s what they’ve been storing here. This is how they got the eluvians to work.”

Bull grunted. “Hopefully they don’t have any more ancient magic crap to throw at us.” He jerked his thumb at an enormous skull in the back corner of the room. “That dragon skull would make a wicked armchair, though. Maybe we could take it back to Skyhold after this?”

“Don’t you dare,” Dorian warned. “It will spoil Hawke’s decor theme.”

Varric looked at him in surprise. “What decor theme? She doesn’t have a theme.”

“Of course I have a theme!” Hawke said. “My theme is ‘things I like and want to show off in Skyhold’.”

“Uh-huh,” Varric said flatly. “You sure it’s not ‘things that give an impression of total chaos when visiting nobles come to the castle’?”

Rainier nodded. “It really does look like chaos. It’s, er, nauseating, actually.”

“Exactly!” she said. “It’s strategic, you see? They come into the Great Hall and think they’re getting total madness. Then they meet the Inquisitor and realize they’re getting Thedas’s smartest elf instead.” She gestured at Fenris with a flourish. “It throws them off. Puts them on their toes. Needless to say, Leliana approves of my decor.”

“Josephine doesn’t,” Dorian said slyly.

Hawke gasped dramatically. “Did she tell you that? That little gossip! She told me she loved what I did with the Great Hall!”

Cassandra tsked. “Perhaps we should move along. The qunari will have defenses in place. We must not stumble into… into anything blindly.” 

Fenris frowned at her; something on one of the shelves seemed to have captured her attention. “What’s the matter?” he asked. “What do you see?”

“It’s…” She pointed at a book. “That’s a copy of Swords and Shields.”

“What?” Hawke exclaimed. 

Varric snorted a laugh. “You’re kidding.” He wandered over to Cassandra, who was now flipping through the book.

“It’s barely used,” she said. “The spine is not cracked.” She gave Varric a wry smirk. “It does not seem that they considered it to be a source of much knowledge.”

Hawke chuckled. “Oh please, we all know what you’re thinking. You want to take that copy home, don’t you?”

“Of course not,” Cassandra said. “Why would you think that? I have a copy already.”

Her cheeks were turning pink. Varric and Fenris exchanged looks of alarm, and Varric tried to silently indicate to Hawke that she should stop talking, but it was too late. 

Hawke raised her eyebrows. “Because your copy is falling apart from overuse, of course!”

Cassandra’s face turned bright red. “I beg your pardon?”

Bull grinned salaciously. “Overuse, huh? Go on, tell us more.”

“Yeah, go on!” Sera cheered. “Details, details!”

Cole opened his mouth, and Varric held up a warning finger. “Don’t do it, kid.”

Cassandra glowered at them all. “I’m not – how dare–” She whipped around and pinned Cole with a glare. “Have you been spying again?”

“Oh Maker’s balls,” Hawke blurted. “No no, it’s not Cole, it’s – that letter you sent to Kirkwall before the Exalted Council! Your scribe mentioned…” She finally made eye contact with Varric, then clapped her hands over her mouth. “Oh shit, that was supposed to be a secret. Never mind. Um… Look at that vase over there. Isn’t that, er, interesting?”

Cassandra made a disgusted noise. “That scribe! That cheeky little – argh!” She buried her face in her hands. 

Bull chuckled. “Come now, Seeker, nothing embarrassing about it. It’s perfectly natural.”

Dorian stroked his mustache. “A bit strange that you’re personal friends with the writer of your, er, overused material, though.”

Cassandra shot him a scathing look, but Hawke was the one to reply. “How is that strange? I regularly tell Varric which of his chapters get me off.”

Varric tugged his ear while the others scoffed and chuckled, and Fenris shook his head. “Hawke…”

She blithely went on. “My favourites are the ones where there’s fingertip action.”

“Fingertip action?” Sera exclaimed.

“Yes!” Hawke said. “You know, ‘he traced his fingertips slowly over her petal-soft shoulder…’” She sighed wistfully. “So titillating. And he does it in every smut chapter.”

Sera cackled. “What? That’s tame! That gets you going?”

“Yes, because I know where he’s going with it next,” she said with a lascivious wink. “What about you, Cassandra? What are your favourite smutty bits?”

“I have no opinion on the matter,” Cassandra said haughtily, but she was smiling very slightly now.

Bull smirked at Hawke. “That’s definitely not what I thought of when you said fingertip action.” He looked at Dorian. “Did you?”

Dorian casually brushed off of his sleeve. “I have no opinion on the matter.”

Then Rainier piped up. “I think the biggest question is why Varric writes that titillating fingertip action in the first place.”

Hawke snapped her fingers. “An excellent point!” she said. She batted her eyelashes at Varric. “Are you looking for someone to trail their fingertips over that manly chest of yours?”

Varric tucked his hands in his pockets. “I have no opinion on the matter.”

Despite the growing pain in his arm, Fenris chuckled. Hawke grinned at him, then she started to laugh. Then Varric was laughing, and Rainier and Bull as well, and… 

And all of a sudden, all of them were laughing. All of them except for Cole, who was blinking in a clueless sort of way while he patted Toby’s head, and for some unfathomable reason, that just made the situation even funnier. 

Hawke wrapped her arm around Fenris’s waist as she laughed, and for a bittersweet moment, he admired the brilliance of her grin and the sounds of his friends’ unrestrained mirth. But the bitterness soon overtook the sweet when a lightning-sharp pulse of pain began to stab through his palm. 

He abruptly stepped away from Hawke and left the storeroom. When he was a safe ten paces away, he allowed the accumulated magic in his hand to burst. 

The accompanying agony shot through his arm to up his shoulder, and he clenched his jaw so as not to cry out. When the pain and magic had waned and the blood was no longer pulsing in his ears, he turned back to face the storeroom. 

They were all staring at him with varying degrees of worry and sadness and sympathy. All except for Hawke, whose face was white with fear. 

She exited the storeroom and looked at Bull. “Come on, then. Mechanical clanking noises, you said?”

“Uh, yeah,” Bull said. He gave Fenris a guarded glance as he stepped past them, and they followed him down the hallway in a somber silence.

Read the rest on AO3. 

[kdramalands]

Binge Craze September

This month has been quite busy for me regarding my kdrama addiction, and I thought that a little update on what has been going in my life would be nice... I haven’t had a good sleep in a while, and my health-sleep tracking app is acting accordingly to prepare for my soon-to-take-place funeral.

I’m going to include a rating for the dramas regarding their bingeability according to my fucked up sleep schedule, which is very accurate and just rating system, excuse you.

REM? More like RAM one more episode in the 3 a.m. time slot.

Do not try at home.

Her Private Life (2019) [10/10]

🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁

The source of the paintings and the source of Kim Jae Wook’s handsomeness kept me from closing my eyes till 6 a.m. Dramas that light and effortless will be the death of me. It was a nice romantic drama, but it had some heavy emotional moments as well. My friend who also got around to finally watching this drama actually thought we’re going to enjoy it together for a while and discuss every detail. YOU FOOL. I’m a heartless binger, and once I finished this one, I didn’t even blink before I started watching another.

The Guest (2018) [8/10]

🍂🍂🍂🍂🍂🍂🍂🍂

I had it on my “golden dramas” list for a long while. I noticed I have tendency to leave out the best dramas for later as safe bets. I have no idea what happened, maybe I was worn off after Her Private Life, but I only stayed up till 3 a.m. to watch it. And it kinda wasn’t the best idea to watch it at night... I mean, I guess it has a horror tag for a reason. However, this one was truly a mild one, so no harm done. Whatever was left of my sanity is still intact. And I got my stolen watch time back during the day. I couldn’t possibly be stopped with that little nap, especially when actors did such a great job and the plot was very unique.

Signal (2016) [9/10]

🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁

I really went all the way with treating myself this month with good dramas. I’m sure you can understand why it got rating this high. The secrets in this one are laid in a thick layer, so I was watching it without blinking, not to mention sleeping. I finally got my beauty sleep at 5 a.m. Yay health. The best part of Signal was definitely Lee Jae Han fighting workplace discrimination single-handedly. Woke men are sexy. Signal is also a brilliant commentary on the biggest cold cases in Korea. It is clear the research that went into making this drama was intense, and you can really learn a lot from it.

P.S. Where is the second season?????

Life on Mars (2018) [7/10]

🍂🍂🍂🍂🍂🍂

We didn’t have a good start. Life on Mars isn’t that fast paced at the beginning, and my WiFi connection started acting up at that time. I’m pretty sure it was a serious case of an assassination of my internet provider on the binge status of these series. My mood went down, and honestly, the action at that point didn’t pick up the pace, so we had a hard time. The biggest mystery wasn’t actually a mystery, and the writers put all important cards on the table indicating where the plot is going. But all things worthy sometimes need that effort, and I’m glad I found my pace again. Life on Mars hit me hard, and like the big masochist I am, I really enjoyed the ending.

The Undateables/ Handsome Guy and Jung Eum (2018) [6/10]

🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁

I got hooked within the first 10 minutes of this drama. It was very smooth and easy to watch. I enjoyed these little gestures and facial expressions that appeared here and there, making it 10 times more silly and 10 times more bubbly. It was very addictive and very much appreciated after that row of brilliant, but heavy dramas I went through on my own accord. It’s not a big piece of art, but I searched for some sweet sweet couple moments and I got them, so the winner is probably still me. I took it easy with this one though. It wasn’t action packed or that gripping to pull an all-nighter, but definitely a good way to spend my time.

When The Devil Calls Your Name (2019) [7/10]

🍂🍂🍂🍂🍂🍂🍂

I added this title to the list, but it was actually binged in 75%. Math queen right here! Staying up all night doesn’t fry all of your cells, see? From the day episode 1 was uploaded I did a serious stake out on this title. Observing and calculating. I knew I wanted to binge it all, but it took sooooo long to end. I snapped right before episodes 13 & 14 came out. This drama is a gold mine of really good OST songs. The plot was literally flowing, and I didn’t even notice how I got from episode 1 to episode 12. I agree that it became a little draggy around episode 13, that’s why I lowered the rating a little bit. However, the ending totally got me, and I still can’t get it out of my head, it was so wholesome.

Bring It On, Ghost/ Hey Ghost, Let’s Fight (2016) [5/10]

🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁

This drama could be described as a “classic beauty”. It definitely follows the basic form of a good drama, and it is addictive to the point of no return. It was fun, but took me a while to finish, I have no idea why. I noticed that even though I lost my pace after 5th episode, I picked it up back again when I got neat the end. Bring It On, Ghost is full of action scenes, and it has a very consistent and interesting plot, and supernatural elements in it, so I’m very surprised I didn’t finish it faster. Guess it wasn’t the right time and place.

Queen In Hyun’s Man/ Queen and I (2012) [10/10]

🍂🍂🍂🍂🍂🍂🍂🍂🍂🍂

I went full old-school with this drama, didn’t I? It was overloaded with typical couple drama like amnesia, big inheritance, and politics. Do you smell that? It’s the good stuff. I was smitten with the chemistry of the main couple here, I couldn’t stop myself from smiling. Very thick chemistry, very nice to look at. We can fawn over how good Yoo In Na and Lee Dong Wook look together in Goblin, but Yoo In Na and Ji Hyun Woo were the OG couple back in the day. I just couldn’t wait till Kim Boong Do finally admits that he, in fact, is a player so I barely stopped to drink and eat. I have no idea how long did I stay up, but the morning sun greeted me through the window alongside In Na’s bright smile through my computer screen.

Laughter In Waikiki 2/ Welcome to Waikiki 2 (2018) [6/10]

🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁

It is a tricky one, because one does not simply laugh at 4 a.m. in a house full of sleeping fussy people.The beginning and ending kept the class of the first Waikiki, but I guess the A-class humour got lost in the middle. Don’t get me wrong, it was really funny, but I found myself laugh out loud less than I did during the first one. However, the romantic aspect got me good. If I were to mention one big reason why you should watch it, it’s the Romance in Waikiki. The romantic element of the plot was written well, and it was very neat that they referenced past characters too. The episodic skit format is not perfect to binge, it’s more of a watch two episodes this week, and next two probably next week. At least for me.

Be Melodramatic/ Melo Suits Me (2019) [9/10]

🍂🍂🍂🍂🍂🍂🍂🍂🍂

There was no way for me to stop watching this after I hit a play button. Not only the drama is damn interesting, taking the form of an ultimate meta-drama, it has some nice winks to all kdrama manias like me. You can see them in small things, e.g. when Reply series were mentioned, PDs added the goat sound effect, or when Jin Joo said that Director Son kind of reminds her of Jung Bong from Reply 88, and bigger ones, when a lot of kdrama hits were put as a background music, e.g. ALMOST PAAAAARAAAAADISE from BOF, She is from My name is Kim Sam Soon or Appear from Secret Garden. It took me by surprise that even though the general atmosphere of Be Melo is kind of serious, they easily went over that fourth wall with light steps, and overall this drama keeps a nice balance between humour and sadness. And that song... every time I wash my hair... among the swaying flowers I can smell your shampoo’s scent... Play it at my funeral, I beg you.

It was a fun month of escapism and running away from my responsibilities. I had a little break at the beginning of this year, so I’m glad I caught up with some dramas I’ve been planning on watching for a while now and new ones I couldn’t wait to watch. I feel happy with the outcome. I hope you’re happy with my rating as well. See you in the next one.

[arronjustin]

Lover Album Review 2020

Hello, I hope everyone is doing good! How’s the Rapunzel-ing going on?

I just got an email from work confirming about my termination. Great! Keep the good news coming! It keeps getting worse. I just hope that I’ll get my unemployment insurance and the stimulus check. If not… I don’t know. Have faith!

Anywayyy… Soon you’ll get better! We’ll get better! Soon! Just like what Taylor said. Speaking of Taylor Swift… In times like these, when you’re in a quarantine, bored, or sad, she’ll be there to help you fight it thru her songs. Yes T. Swizzle, our queen, our hero haha! I have a lot of time so I am going to make a review of her 7th album, Lover. This is a review from a lover (no pun intended :))) or a fan so this will be like 100% good vibes. Negativity is not allowed here. No rats allowed here. This is a review from a fan that played the album a hundred times already or should I say a million times hehe. This is a review from a fan, not a musician or an expert from the industry so this is a jargon-free review haha! So here we go! And this is gonna be quite long so patience my friend.

“Welcome to bridge city!”. If your town needs someone to build a bridge, just message Taylor. All the bridge parts in this album are phenomenal.  If Red is a TS autumn album, definitely Lover is for summer. It’s perfect that she released it summer. What confused me is, why it got snubbed at Grammys? Why? How? Or at least give the Grammy to Norman Fucking Rockwell! Ugh. Going back to the topic… Lover is like the summation of all her past albums but mostly from 1989 and Reputation. She also introduced new sounds due to new collaborations in writing and producing. From her past pop albums, mostly it’s just with Jack Antonoff and now she’s with Joel Little also. I was expecting a deluxe/extended version of the album though! 18 songs are not enough haha!

*FYI, Taylor brought back the 80’s music in the industry with her album 1989 (2014). She’s the one who started it. The rest just followed. I’m not starting a fight here haha!

I Forgot That You Existed – This song is really a good opening. A feel-good song. The perfect song when you wake up. Also I think, this song will be a good single. The music video can be like, walking on a field or like just biking on the street with a sunny weather haha! With this song, she wants us to know that her dark era (Best comeback & tour ever! Like ever.) is done and that she’s completely over with this DJ (I forgot his name jk. ) who had a show that nobody came haha jk!

Cruel Summer – Best song ever. I mean, aside from All Too Well and Our Song haha! … And Getaway Car. Damn, don’t ask me about her best song coz I’m not sure if can answer that. Because they’re all good! They’re the best. Same with asking me her worst song! My answer will be forever N/A! Anyway, no doubt that this song is the continuation of Getaway Car. Try to put this song next to Getaway Car, I’ll give you $100 if you disagree. The closing beat of GC really fits CS. Let’s talk about the bridge of this song. It’s a masterpiece. This bridge is so good that in the future it can be like historical where students study it for their literature subject hehe. It’s so good that Taylor even repeated the bridge at the ending. If you’ll be reading this Taylor, please release this as a single! Pretty please with sugar on top! When you didn’t release Getaway Car as a single, I got sick. I can’t talk, eat, and even move due to frustration haha jk! But please! Release this on summer! Music video ideas? Just PM haha! Would it be cool if the music video will start at the last part of Getaway Car?

Lover – The first time I heard this, I was like… I wish I have someone right now to dance on this song. Are they married already? Engaged? Definitely, my wedding song. No Lover, no wedding haha!

The Man – This should be the first single in my opinion. The message is perfect and it’s catchy and unique. But I guess, they released Me! because it’s good for all ages.

The Archer – I don’t know but this song makes me really sad. The saddest track 5 song. And I think this track 5 song is kind of different compare to others coz this is about all your struggles in life, not just with a heartbreak? Well, that’s my interpretation haha! Please don’t kill me if its different from yours.

I Think He Knows – Yeah I know, another great song haha! I mean duh, they’re all great. I don’t need to tell it. Everytime I hear this song, Janelle Monáe keeps popping up from my head. She can have this song!

Miss Americana & The Heartbreak Prince – When I first saw the title I was like, is this a Fall Out Boy song? The first time I heard it, this is a good OST!

Paper Rings – Cute song. Another song that is perfect for OST. A rom-com movie!

Cornelia Street – The storytelling here is really good (Shout out to All Too Well again!) especially when you’re familiar with the place. I even tried to listen to it while walking on the street of Cornelia haha! Then it rained jk. Now I just need to rent a place in Cornelia street. Typed it casually in my room. Not my car. No pun intended hehe.

Death By A Thousand Cuts – This is like Look What You Made Me Do part 2 due to the horror vibe that I get from this song haha! The title and the my, my part along with that background sound that you usually hear in some horror movies. But the guitar part in the chorus makes me want to cry from being heartbroken and how life can be beautiful haha! When the album got released, this song was on repeat.

London Boy – Now everyone wants a London Boy and boys from London couldn’t be more proud of themselves. I hear This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things in this song.

Soon You’ll Get Better – Let me get a tissue first before I start with this song. Jk. I didn’t cry after hearing this song for the first time but I got headache due to resisting it hehe. If this song didn’t do anything for you, you’re a monster, a rat. :))) BTW, it’s so nice to hear Dixie Chicks again after a long time. I love their version of Can’t Hurry Love haha!

False God – Sexy saxophone hello! I feel like it’s a grown up song that’s why I cant relate haha! A coat and tie song. You know what I mean? Don’t worry, me too. It’s a sexy song, a date song. Like a good background when you’re having a dinner date (in NYC) and the next deed after that date. *Insert devil emoji.

You Need To Calm Down – I failed to calm down after seeing the music video of this. Queens everywhere in the music video. The message and video are indeed powerful.

Afterglow – When you want to emote, this song will help you. Feel free to do an interpretative dance. This will help you to calm down and be relaxed after what You Need To Calm Down served us.

Me! – Yes with the exclamation point! This song never fails to startled me especially after playing Afterglow. The silence and then suddenly… “I promise that…” haha! Like, WTF Taylor stop scaring me haha! But I won’t really forget the excitement I had when I was waiting for the release of the music video and the feeling of seeing it for the first time. Priceless. Definitely, this will be the encore song for the tour!

It’s Nice To Have A Friend – Is this about wedding? But what I’m really sure of is that this song is perfect for winter. You’re inside your room next to your window drinking hot chocolate watching snow fall, confirming if all snowflakes are really different from each other and this is your background music.

Daylight – I lost count already on how many times I used this song as a background music for my sunrise/sunset Instagram story. I agree with you Taylor, you are what you love. And the Red reference, brilliant! You know what, even until now I still can’t decide which closing song is the best. Clean or this? Or Begin Again? Here we go again… I. don’t. know. Coz they’re all great haha! Is it just me because I’m a Gemini or is it really hard to decide which one is her best song because all of Taylor’s songs are so good and incomparable!

Andddd we’re done haha! Reading is fun! Right? Haha! Stay Safe!

*This is originally from my WordPress.

@taylorswift @taylornation

[yehet-me-up]

Hi Sarah! Thank you so much for blessing us with your presence. Your writing inspires me daily and you love for Your King is pretty endearing haha. I saw someone on my dash do this earlier in the week and I was wondering if you could ship your mutuals with members of EXO? and explain why? Thank you! 🌼🌻

HELLO LOVE! I’m so so delighted you enjoy my writing ;~; thank you so much for the lovely compliment, I’m emo ;~; and that me shouting lustfully about Kim Junmyeon entertains you hahaha. And thank you for this because i LOVE shipping people!!

I’m keeping Junmyeon for myself, natch. 😉

Chanyeol @yeoldontknow​ Listen, there will never be another soul alive that isn’t more perfectly matched to Kat than Chanyeol. I could (and honestly have on multiple occasions) written essays about these two. Their love of music, their competitive natures (and soft, emo hearts they both absolutely DENY), their determination to love and spoil their friends, their plans to take over the world. No one understands Chanyeol’s emotional nature, need to better himself (and also win things), tendency to overwork himself, beat himself up for failures, be challenged intellectually, need to be an Alpha but also the little spoon sometimes, etc. than Kat. And no one will help Kat build her dreams, hold her when she coughallowsherselftobesoftcough, challenge her right back, have sex with her in public places 👀, and talk music with her for hours, etc. than Chan. The original OTP to end all OTPs

Minseok @minsh00kt​ JeMin is the soft yet sassy cat couple dreams are made of, who are undoubtedly having more fun than all of us as we speak. Whether it’s karaoke-ing old jazz numbers, doing the dishes, going on walks in the park, laughing at silly videos, squashing errant bugs, traveling the world, doing crossword puzzles, etc. they are gross in love and DELIGHTED to be together. Mr. sassy kim minseok over there with a soft pisces ass moon who needs Jess’ cancer rising to let him know it’s okay and that he’s seen and loved. And jess’ virgo moon just needs to know that someone sees her commitment to rules and fairness and doing kind things for people and spending time with them for the absolute expression of her love that it is. I can’t wait for these two to just merge like tectonic plates and form a mountain of love

Jongin @gingersaysjump​ HELLO MY SHIP HAS SAILED. I can’t tell what my favorite part of shipping Shanae and Jongin is. Is it that they’re both fashion baesTM and would be the most stunning and gorgeous couple alive? Is it that both of them are Capricorns with soft spots inside and they get SALTY whenever anyone points it out to them haha? Is it the amount of incredible and mind-blowing sex and connection they’d have in the bedroom? Is it that they’re both /very/ independent and will go out during the day and be BOSSES in their field, but then come home and be so domestic and read on the couch together, feeding each other grapes or some shit?? I can’t decide. But B R U H i ship it.

Jongdae @taewithhoney​ GNHNGNGNGNGNG do i do anything other than scream about FeiDae? Honestly, do i? because *YODELS TO THE HEAVENS* please let me see a FeiDae romance in my lifetime. Miss Fatima over here taking over the world, being an amazing human being, so wonderful and kind and with literal oceans of love to give. Mr Jongdae over there, the OST king and nation’s soloist and all round PHENOMENAL human being. like I think both of them are conquering the world in their own way, independent, doing Just Fine (un-ironically) but listen, to watch these two earth sign/air sign energy baes fall in love and just let that love EXPLODE???? I’d pay no less than $4 million to watch it happen. Neither is ready for how good their life can be once they fall in love so pass me the popcorn, THANKS.

Yixing @yixingminseokjongdae​ Listen, I think this would play like such an amazing romantic comedy. Christine, whomst I love and adore, is just finding her way in the world, is so sweet and hilarious and excited and is looking for that person who she can shower with love and hype, and who will really SEE her in return. Yixing is a goddamn workaholic, soft sweet bean, and absolutely satanic and chaotic with all his sexual energy hahaha. I just want Yixing to know what it’s like to have someone stable and good like Christine who will also challenge him and open his heart up and help him fucking R E S T. And I want Christine to know what it’s like to be loved by someone who sees the best in her, doesn’t shy away from a relationship when things are hard, and is committed AF to her

Kyungsoo @smoochews​ B R UUUUUU H i ship this so hard. You don’t even know how much i love this. Soo is such a serious, yet soft and hilarious and romantic, bean. He absolutely needs someone like SC to make him laugh, to encourage him to express his feelings, and to just do soft, domestic ass shit with him. And SC needs someone steady yet sassy like Soo to keep up with them, because LBR, not everyone on earth deserves such a dedicated, hilarious, giving, sweet, and friendly person like SC, but if I had to agree to let anyone date SC, I think it would have to be Soo

Sehun I don’t think I know anyone who biases Sehun??? Hmmm….. If you bias Sehun please let me know for future shipping/tagging/torturing with pics and fics purposes!

Baekhyun oh my lord, I know so many Mrs. Byun’s how can I choose! I’ve decided to let Baek have a harem of women to love and adore him. It’s what he deserves @jeonocho​ @byunfirstlady​ @byunbabekhyun​

This was so much fun! Thank you so much for this lovely message

[uptakeeasy]

THARNTYPE The Series

First and last tumblr post here.

Recently started watching TharnType and have already re watched it many times.

I have such an emotional response watching this series that I can’t explain it and hence this blog entry is just to help me unravel my thoughts. My foray into gay love stories started a few years back when I became disillusioned with cliched straight romances and wanted to watch something that still makes me believe in love(adult life is hard). I have come to such a point now that even gay stories don’t move me anymore and I am always looking for plot holes or rolling my eyes at seemingly romantic gestures.

BL is not for me. Most of the stories, acting, side characters become so cringe worthy and immature ,that I get second hand embarrassment just watching them ( sorry BL fans,I am an embittered,old cat lady). Anyway few days back I wanted to check out the BL universe to see whats new. Came upon Tharn Type,watched the first episode ,judged it,judged myself for getting turned on at the non con scene,hated myself,hated it.

Anyway to clean my palate I searched for top 5 BLs according to different  sources and started watching. SOTUS was hella boring, with that weird Hazing like ritual ( I have been to schools with that old school senior junior interaction and can’t stand it. Also I have problem with authority). Anyway tried the first episode ,didn’t click. Tried the second season ,didn’t click. Moved on to LBC. Was impressed by the extremely healthy relationship displayed by the main couple.But the chemistry was missing and the plot was way too simplistic and sugar sweet for my taste.Also I know people love Pete but I am not a fan of fragile flower characters( sorry not sorry).

Anyway after checking out TWM : Next chapter (and getting enraged at the cheating story line, like seriously you guys fucked up two beautiful relationships for drama) and Heroin, which I am not a fan of at all (I have zero emotional response to it) but I love the OST, I came back to square one because I was so frustrated by everything that I watched.

Checked out episode 2 and 3. Still squicked out by Tharn’s excessive touching but I did like the comedy(I think this is the first BL where I actually laughed at the jokes non sarcastically, that Techno character is hilarious), the music and the acting. It was also pleasantly surprising to see dark topics (sexual assault, online bullying(If I can call it that),homophobia) being addressed. Although they didn’t go too deep into these things but I felt that at least some thought was put into the writing and those were not just pointless plot devices.

Binged watched till episode 11 and became obsessed. The Tharn who I hated in the first three episodes became a gentle,kind,loving,bruised soul (who should keep his hands and lips to himself sometimes), hot headed, impulsive,immature Type (who needs to stop punching his boyfriend) became a softer, empathetic,intense lover who protects what is his. As an older adult I know the intensity of their relationship is almost toxic. Fire and ice looks good for drama but in reality can be explosive.

But, I don’t know what it is, somehow these two make me root for them. They make me believe that there is someone for everyone and sometimes the most imperfect things coming together can be close to perfection.

From the writing, I can gauge that the writer loves all the characters and sees them as actual human beings. We get to know something about everyone and none of them look one dimensional to me. I literally empathize with everyone. No one is evil (except Lhong,but I have a feeling that his backstory will make us understand him,not agree with his actions of course) and no one is a saint. They are actual people with flaws, big and small who can still be loved despite how broken they are or how detestable their actions may seem.

As for their love, it is obsessive,jealous and too demanding at times while at other times it is understanding,nurturing and soothing.Many BLs have so many characters and story lines that we end up getting a shallow character study of everyone. With these two ,I feel like I know them,what their motivations are,why they react the way on certain things,etc. Tharn and Type’s conversations actually feel like real conversations between lovers to me, discussing their past,their likes,dislikes,family,etc.(except the sex talk, I think most couple just do it,they don’t talk about it). Another thing I find refreshing is the reversal of roles outside the bedroom. Love it.

Also the plot is so engaging and fast paced. Kudos to the author.Personally I have a very short attention span so the fact that I am engaged throughout the 50 minute run time is nothing short of amazing to me.I have read almost everything that was available about the story and the characters online.  To me,Tharn and Type are the silly (sometimes infuriating) teenagers who grow into good,strong human beings together,helping each other along the way. After Broke Back mountain and Skam S3, this is the only love story that has moved me to tears.I have heard both the OSTs and Hold me tight actually makes this adult woman cry every time. That song is the series, everything that happens between Tharn and Type can be summed up through that wonderful ballad. I am going to learn the Thai lyrics just so I can someday sing it with a guitar.

I have learnt some things from this series,which make me think:

I hope people are kind to each other and learn to forgive each other.

I hope people learn from their mistakes and grow into better human beings.

I hope people find love in life and when they do, they fiercely protect it because it is a precious and elusive thing.

After the honeymoon phase is over it is normal everyday life, the chemicals present in the initial few days are gone, which leads to break down of so many relationships. When ennui of real life sets in ,one starts seeing the flaws in one’s partner. Every small thing becomes irritating. Tharn and Type have already seen the worst of each other and have accepted it, it makes me feel in my gut that they can make it. I read somewhere that they stay together till the end and actually become each other’s last ,the way they promised when they were 18. (if only real life was so sweet).

Well you know what, after watching the series and knowing the full story they make me believe that they can make it

PS: I know fans will be furious at my disregard for the other series’ mentioned but people can have different tastes and that is okay. I didn’t like them, you can hate TharnType, there is something for everyone.My intention isn’t to unfairly criticize them but just to express why I got so moved by Tharn Type.

I often don’t feel deeply about things,so thank you for moving me TharnType.

[lynxgriffin]

Led Zeppelin was right all along

It’s my FINAL PIECE of KH3 commentary! That’s right, I’ve finished the game! Commentary for me finishing it is under the cut!

Okay guys, this is it

It’s time to finish this sucker

It’s time for all of my feelings to get curbstomped and then cracked in half over a knee

Turns out I’ve caught a cold so this might be tougher to do

But I’m still going to do it

AWAY. WE. GOOOOO

And after beating this gummi boss again…

Ahhh there he is at last

The old fart

…So weird that it’s not Leonard Nimoy though

Xehanort: Let’s just try out this whole apocalypse thing and see how it goes

It’s rainin’ Heartless, hallelujah

LMAO there isn’t even an enemy counter, it’s just:

ENEMIES. YES, ALL OF THEM. ALL THE TIME. FOREVER

And I just blew up ten million Heartless with a train, THIS IS THE SHINIEST APOCALYPSE EVER

Ohh, once again, hate that tunnel

IT’S A TRAP

At least Aqua didn’t fall for that

Oh dang he’s got No Name there

NOOOO SUNSHINE BOY

Oh well now that’s cheating

FUKYEAH GOOFY

Donald’s fukkin pissed

Did Donald just Megaflare this bitch

ArE yoU kiDDinG mE

Oh great, one of you again

Aqua: Never mind, that is way damn too many Heartless

HE SCREAM, AGAIN

SORA PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER WE’RE STILL EARLY IN FINAL BATTLE MODE

Well that was five different layers of OH SHIT

Oh hey back at that chess metaphor HI AGAIN YOUNG ERAQUS

Wait the hell kind of chess move was that

MEANWHILE, BACK ON THE SALT FLATS

ThE FINAL WORLD, HUH

Chirithy!!!!

Chirithy: So yeah you’ve kinda died a couple times previously just by being unconscious a lot

Sora: YEAH WELL time to get back to life

Sora: THERE’S PUZZLES IN HEAVEN, TOO??

THERE’S PUZZLES IN HEAVEN YUP, BETTER GET TO THAT

Ohhhh no the sparkly stars are KHUX Keykids, aren’t they :(((

Ugh it’s the little star soul stories that are getting to me :(

Sora bein’ a pal even to all the souls in heaven, gosh darn

OH SURE JUST KEEP THAT FROM THE AUDIENCE

OMG this soul is longing for his kismesis, what a nerd

“What a weird place” YEAH NO SHIT

Well it’s nice to see THESE Soras are having a great time

Perhaps this game was taking the idea of Sorabits a tad too literally

Also actually two quick questions here:

1) Why is Chirithy in heaven?

2) Sora were you instagramming from heaven??

Sora: So heaven’s been a trip and all but I’ve still got endgame to do, STAY COOL FUZZY FRIEND

Wait a bloop it sent him back in time too??

Insert 2001 Space Odyssey reference here

Oh now we’re in DIFFERENT heaven??

Okay yeah now I have no clue where we’re going from here

Man here I was expecting to fight all the Norts and instead it’s…Heartless…Grim Reaper

I’m starting to suspect this is not the real Jiminy

This is kind of a weird callback to KH1, innit

Yeah I was just wondering that myself

Oh hey Youngnort

See? Grim Reaper Heartless, I knew it

I gotta say that after Sora dying and going to KH heaven this is…kinda weirder coming afterwards

I’m kind of worried about where this is going

This is like Three Days of the Condor, I TRUST NO ONE

WE FINALLY GOT A TITLE CRAWL???

WHELP. ROUND TWO, I GUESS

Guys, let’s…let’s not do this again

You ever get a sense of deja vu

OHOHOHOOOOO THIS IS DIFFERENT

“WHO ARE YOU??” “I’M YOU BUT STRONGER”

Terra: I’ll kick every ass! I’ll kick your ass! I’LL KICK MY OWN ASS

Gad damn the bullshit never stops around here, does it

We’ve done this before but I DUN CARE since this is my favorite boss battle music

Meanwhile the Unreal Engine’s just huffing and puffing trying to keep up

:O!!! EPHEMER!!

WHATRE U DOIN IN A HEARTLESS TORNADO

And all the dead Keykids came to help!

Ohhhhhh myyyyyyyyy goooooooooooosh

HAHA SO THAT’S HOW THEY INTEGRATED THOSE PEOPLE THAT WON THE THING

Congrats Keykids, U ARE ATTACKS

That’s…that’s really sweet actually

That’s a whole lot of Unicornis and Vulpes in there

OMG I was so busy watching those names I didn’t even realize I was supposed to avoid dying

FINALLY CURAGA???

I dunno Lea that was already a pretty big bad

Aw darn they Norted Repliku

Or wait no Pastku?

Pastku you’re such a little shit

Lea: That wasn’t blundering! That was failing, WITH STYLE

HE LOOM

Unreal Engine: Please…help…I’m dying Squirtle

Oh hey FINALLY super powerful magic users like Yen Sid get involved!

And Moses parted the Heartless Sea

And hey finally got Starlight!

Well ain’t this a familiar setup

I miss Leonard Nimoy :(

Well I’m glad we get to save and shop before we all die horribly!

….Wait haven’t we all already died horribly??

FINALLY We get to fight some Norts!!

Took out Xigbar first

Yeah Xigbar I’m really not sure all that hoohah was worth it

Are we gonna do this for each one or do we have to pick and choose?

Oh well that takes care of Pastku so maybe not

SKIRT RIKU VS SKIRT RIKU

Oh that’s creepy actually

OH NO! Repliku :(((

Sora…you just gonna leave that…okay

So now we got some Neophytes to deal with

Well I was gonna go after Mar first but I guess Luxord is our opponent now

AW DAMN I hated this part from before!

Oh wait that wasn’t hard at all you just look behind those stupid cards

Luxord: Well it’s been fun, time to die

Why does everyone’s teeth look blue??

Really liking all these remixes of the old boss themes tho

Aaaaand down goes Mar

And what’s nice is partners have mostly worn down the last Nort present!

Larx is an asshole to the very end

Door puzzles ohhhh nooooooo

Well thank goodness we worked out that nonsense

Who to help first? REDHEAD SQUAD

If that’s Xion I’m going to be SO UPSET

At least we get to fight WITH Kairi even if not as her

Lea is SO ANGER

Ohhhhh BUUUUUURN

Oh well that ain’t good

XION NOOOOOOOOOO

Absolutely not, Xemnas!!

*throws hands in the air* OHHHHHHHH

HE KNOWS

Oh fuck you Xemnas HDU

Ohhhhh sheeeeeeet

THE BOY IS BACK

JUST STAB ME IN THE HEART WITH THE OTHER PROMISE, OKAY

Called out by Roxas daaaayum

Gah dammit not again! STOP DOING KAIRI DIRTY

GET READY FOR: TRIPLE KEYKIDS ASSKICKIN

Hot damn but it’s satisfying to beat the crap out of Saix with Sora, Roxas and Xion all at once while The Other Promise just blasts in the background

Lea: I’m not mad I’m just disappointed

Awww maaaaaan

OH GOSH SEASALT TRIO HUG

THEY’RE ALL TOGETHER AGAIN SOB SOB

Now to the Wayfinder family! Took out Vanyeetas first!

Sora: Hey WTF that’s my face you got

Yeah I gotta agree I don’t know which part of that was okay honestly

WHELP no time to think on it gotta take out Terranort

Since we got back Roxas and Xion can we finally get Terra back??

Sora: TERRA PLEASE STOP, IT’S TOO WEIRD

OHHHHHHH!! OH OH OH

That was metal as all hell

YAAAAAAY

WAYFINDER FAMILY IS HERE

Ohhhh gooooosh

Everyone’s together and I’m full of rainbows

MAN so we got…three Norts left, don’t we

Guess the only way out of this is up

What we’ve just been cloning No Name the whole time??

Okay, FOUR left, we gotta deal with Ansem, Xemnas and Youngnort first

Oh sheesh that was Youngnort dying, thought it was me for a second

Youngnort: Just one last piece of cryptic bullshit to leave you with! BYYYYEEEE

Aaaand that’s Ansem down

Ansem: Must…pontificate more…before…I die

Haha took out Xemnas with flying rocket punch nanobots

Xemnas: Regrets…I’ve had a few…

But then again, too few to mention?

Sora: Life is pain, Xemnas! Anyone who says otherwise is Norting you

Oh boy oh boy, all we have left now is…the old fart…

Oh this is gonna piss me off good, ain’t it

YUP, I’M PISSED

YOU DONE HER DIRTY AGAIN

Nomura do we need to sit you down as a group and learn you some things about NOT DOING THAT

That was…kind of a cool moment I guess?? BUT I’M STILL MAD

Oh shitcakes

The world to come is death from above I guess

Donald and Goofy just coming in like “Hey…what’d we miss?”

I’m honestly really glad they’re here tho, TRINITY ALLLLL THE WAY

The whole gang here together again IRONING OUT THE PLOT POINTS

Trophy here???

OH HEY WE’RE BACK HERE

A town of nothing but Norts

OH I forgot THESE WEIRDOS were in trailers somehow

The hell is happening anymore

An Organization so nice we fought ‘em twice!

The scary music is playing but I have no clue where to goooo

Well it took me five minutes just to find the dang guys before Thundaga finished them off

Oh really now!

ONE MORE TITLE CRAWL FOR Y’ALL

HE WAS AN ANGRY GOAT WHO SAW THE MOVIE INCEPTION ALL ALONG

SHEESH that was a nutty battle that took awhile

Well I think I won THAT battle anyway

Is this gonna be a THAT WASN’T EVEN MY FINAL FORM or what

More callbacks!

This is the fight that never eeeeends, yes it goes on and on my frieeeends

OH that was fuckin weird but COOL

I LOVE THE TRINITY

EVERYONE ELSE AGAIN TOO

HAHA OH DAMN

EVEN ERAQUS GETS TO REAPPEAR

Yaaay my favorite terrible dad

That look from Eraqus OMG

Babbeh Eraqus so cute

Now YOU get the goofy apocalypse weapon, Sora!

More dad reconciliations sob

Oh gosh I’m so glad we get this before we end

ohhhh noooo

Oh no you know shit’s serious when you enter a blocked scene

DOES EVERYONE FINALLY GET TO GO HOME NOW

Man everything’s just so shiny now

A CHIRITHY FOUND A VEN

NEW OUTFITS FOR SEASALT GANG FINALLY

THE EXPANDED SEASALT GANG

YAAAY NAMINE BACK

LET HER LIVE HER LIFE NOW

MOTHAFOCKIN BEACH PARTY FOR EVERYONE YES

FOR REALLY EVERYONE FOR REAL??

Also dang sing us out Utada

*points and points* THAT? FINAL SHOT???

WHERE’S THE BOY

What did you do to my son Nomura

LOOK IF YOU’RE GONNA POP HIM OUT LIKE THAT I AT LEAST WANT TO BE VALIDATED FOR MY THEORIES

THE CREDITS ARE ROLLING AND THERE’S STILL THINGS I FEEL LIKE I’M MISSING

Also just interjecting here but damn that endgame was so long IT FELT LIKE A WHOLE ‘NOTHER GAME

And now the pretty march music with the Super Longer Credits—I CAN’T BELIEVE DRAKE BELL WAS YOUNG ERAQUS

*points* WHY IS FURRY SQUAD VOICED HERE??

Well if nothing else gonna get me a kickass OST out of this

HERE we go, post credits stuff

Here’s the Furry Squad!

LUXU WAS XIGBAR WELL OKAY

What fresh bullshit is thiiiiiiis

OH HEY WE’D ALMOST FORGOTTEN ABOUT THEM

Hey where is Ava

Oh fuuuuuck yoooou Luxugbar

Whaaaaaaaat

THE BOY

SHIBUYA????????????

*throws hands in the air* I GOT NOTHIN FOLKS

I GOT ABSOLUTELY NOTHIN

THE END PAGE!!!! SURE AS HELL IS WHAT THAT IS

OKAY SO LIKE

PLEASE, HELP ME OUT HERE, SECRET ENDING

IS THE NEXT GAME JUST GONNA STRAIGHT UP BE VERUM REX?

NOPE THERE IS NOTHING MORE THAT’S JUST IT

WELL THAT WAS

A WHOLE DAMN LOT WASN’T IT

Nomura I am in fact going to die and go to your house and haunt it and push all of your things off shelves like a cat

ALL OF THE THINGS

OFF OF. YOUR SHELVES.

Okay so overall I did really enjoy the game but also I’m just ????

?????????

??????

Like my reaction is pretty much just

LATER NERDS THIS HAS BEEN LYNX SUFFERS THROUGH KINGDOM HEARTS 3

I HOPE YOU HAD FUN CAUSE I DID

I think I’m gonna go lie down now