#ep18 just takes all my breath away

[empty-dream]

Me: imma binge 86 ep18-20 in one go Me after ep18:

Ngl that was so intense that I got chills to the very end of it. The tension just escalates from the beginning until the last second. Despite having no action scene, it is very similar to my personal favorite ep9 but at the same time completely different as well. For starters, both episode have their ending song playing over the scenes and the same OST playing during a climatic scene. You know shit is serious when this happens. 

Both episode ends with the five marching to a deathly mission in the enemies' territory. And there is someone who tearfully begs them not to leave (Lena in 1st cour, Frederica in 2nd cour)

And speaking of Frederica, at first glance she does look like she is making a tantrum over being left behind. And maybe part of what Shin says is correct, that she sees Shin as Kiriya and she uses Shin in her atonement. But it's also easy to sympathize with her. Imagine being the only one left behind by the whole squad she's in (*cough* Lena *cough*) while besides the Federacy soldiers, Nordlicht consists of alienated war veterans like 86 and Giadian mercenaries (Idk why they haven't made that clear even to ep18 in the anime) so the chance of them being shipped to impossible mission is high.

But you're gonna feel straight up sorry for her once the light is on and this appears on screen. I gasp at this, it's so sad to look at. She likes the people there so much.

I love this entire scene so much. When I read the novel, I can sympathize but not quite agree with the five's decision to enlist and stating that if they don’t do it then they aren't moving on. It's pretty obvious they are fighting because of their pride to not become like the Republic. But they have nothing but that pride. They don't have anything to protect, the people they love are dead already. And simply fighting for pride is something a man going to their death would say (which what they were in 1st cour.) Realistically speaking, that's not enough to live on. What Frederica says in ep13 is called back, that if they have nothing but pride, when they lose sight of it, they will quickly fall apart.

Both episodes also talk about Rei. Ep9 is a given since it's Shin vs Rei, while ep18 only has this part but hell it fucking hurts.

I made an entire gifset for this scene cuz my god all the things that she says is just pure pain. I love how the camera first shows Shin's pocket where Rei's piece is kept, then immediately pans up to Shin's expression that goes from neutral to a bit slighted (because Frederica's words are correct). We keep getting scenes of Rei's piece and Shin staring at it dearly, and it just serves to drive the point home that for better or worse, regardless whether Shin is moving on or not, Rei, a dead man, is that big of a support for Shin.

Shin did say nothing when Rei left. And in the novel, Rei couldn't face him at all due to his massive guilt and shame. Rei left without even once looking at Shin, even when Shin watched him go. If one of them just said or do something about it, then maybe the painful things afterward wouldn't have to happen. Maybe Rei wouldn't become a mind-warped Legion. Maybe Shin wouldn't have to live under Rei's curse. Maybe they both wouldn't enlist. That's all it is, maybes and regrets.

And then both episode also ends with a final gut-punching cliffhanger shot with an emotional song playing. (Tbh, this ep makes me officially loves Alchemila. It wasn't a love at the first hearing like Avid to me. And god the part where the color scheme changes into the gray-blue like the usual credit, that’s like cherry on top and hits super hard)

But here is the difference. Whereas in 1st cour the five has no problem leaving the Republic that actively wants them dead even if it also means their death as well, the Federacy, despite their differences, doesn't wish them to die. Whereas the Republic is a pool of cowards who force the people they scapegoat to fight for them, the Federacy fights until the end of their breath. Even when a lot of the Federacy soldier regard the 86 with fear and disgust, calling them war machines and putting them to another deathly mission, in the end they still believe in them. They still fight and sacrifice themselves so that these war machines can ensure the victory of their country and the people they protect. It's a far cry from San Magnolia, to the point where the four of them are visibly moved with the dedication and they seriously consider to win as not to let those people down.

And this time the 86 are not leaving alone by themselves. In 1st cour Lena can only go so far due to her own lack of power. But in 2nd cour they have the army executives and the president himself backing them. There are people who disagree making them child soldiers, and continues to oppose the idea even against the 86 themselves even though they all work together. Grethe does everything to make sure she comes along with them using the best possible method the country has. She notes that Richard, despite his duty and position, also worries about them and thus gives her the OK. Ernst adopts and values the 86 as his own children, and is very adamant that they come back alive or he'd destroy the world himself (a callback to his personal belief in ep12) Even the maintenance staff in the squadron wish them all luck. All of these are proof that there are people, actual people with them, that see the 86 as living humans they hold dear and not weapons to be discarded and left to die. It's a complete 180° from 1st cour. And speaking of Ernst, I remember reading the vol3 part where Ernst having the conversation with the lieutenant general (the beginning of ep18). It is basically the same as the anime, but I love the novel version better since it's made clear that Ernst isn't going to use nepotism to save his own children/soldier and everything he says in this conversation is him acting as a president that the public continuously chooses for the last 10 years. The lieutenant general himself isn't a person keen on killing children, yet even he gets the image that Ernst is like an ominous fiery dragon with an idealism deep-rooted in heart. This part, and the farewell scene, are where I finally can breath "wow man's got both politic power and heart right. thank god he’s not an antagonist." So I'll say it again, ep18 shares similar elements and story conflicts to ep09 which is where the climax happens (ep10-11 are like the aftermath and conclusion in practice), but it is also diametrically the opposite because of the different circumstances and environments surrounding the 86.