#can they invent a manic episode that's Good. thanks.

[dykethang]

i need more bipolar vibes songs. Honestly. like yeah there's bipolar baby! by ftsk but like. there needs to be fucking more. i can't just listen to this song and maps by tfb and get better by frank turner on repeat. unfeasible.

[kiddoryder]

Runaway Winner

Hey guys! Thank you all for liking my Angelic Friend story! Really appreciate it ^^

This story will be about a certain visitor coming back. Also this will sort of be like a redo of my old story 420. 

So relax and enjoy the story! 

P.S. There will be references of the Steven Universe episode Change Your Mind. 

At the hotel, it was show and tell day. It was Sir Pentious' turn and he was showing off his new weapon. It was a huge laser cannon. 

Sir Pentious -  *dramatic* “Behold my latest invention! The Dust Destroyer 10000!”

Husk - *uninterested* “Really? Another fucking manchine?”

Vaggie - *irritated* “Pentious, we told you no more weapons in the hotel.”

Angel - “And 10,000? Why add numbers?”

Sir Pentious - *defended* “Hey! I’ll have you know I made this weapon to protect this hotel! And maybe kill some people in Hell.”

Charlie - *a bit uncomfortable* “Um Sir Pentious, I appreciate how it was made to protect the hotel, but maybe you shouldn’t use it to destroy people.”

Sir Pentious - “Oh my dear, you should always be prepared.”

Charlie - “Right…Um who wants to go next.”

Sophie - *raise her hands cutely* “Oh! Me! Me!”

Vaggie - *smiles* “Okay Sophie. Your turn.”

Sophie excitedly ran up front and took out a stuffed butterfly toy. 

Sophie - “This is Miss Flutters. I won her in an arcade Blitz took me to before we came to the hotel.”

Blitz - *chuckles* “Well Sophie was really good at the ring toss game.”

Charlie - “Well it is really cute Sophie.”

Sophie - *giggled* “Thanks Charlie. She’s my other toy Fluffy’s best friend and they love to hang out. Miss Flutters even gives Fluffy rides on her back.”

Sir Pentious - “What imagination this little one has.”

Then Charlie had a phone call and it was Sonya. Charlie picked it up and said:

Charlie - “Hello?”

Sonya - *afraid* “C-Cousin Charlie?”

Charlie - *concerned* “Sonya? Are you okay sweetie?”

Sonya - *scared* “No! My parents went out, so did me and Liz. When we got back for a snack break, I heard weird noises upstairs.” 

Charlie - “Don’t worry, stay there and don’t move! We are coming!” *hangs up* guys my baby cousins are in trouble!

()()()()()()()()()

Less than 10 minutes, Charlie and her friends came to Sonya and Liz’s house. Charlie saw Sonya looking scared that it cause Vaggie to take out her spear, Angel his Tommy guns, Blitz summon his magic, Niffty her knife, and Pentious his laser gun. 

Sonya - “Oh thank Lucifer you guys came!”

Charlie - “Where are they? Who’s here? Is it a burglar? A creep? A murderer?”

Sonya - *frantic* “Worst! A rat is in my attic!”

The others looked at Sonya in disbelief. 

Vaggie - “A rat? You called Charlie about a rat?!”

Sonya - *freaking out “Those things are gross!”

Liz rolls her eyes in annoyance on how her sister is acting. 

Liz - “I told Sonya she was overreacting. I even told her I can get rid of them myself.”

Sonya - *grossed out* “The way you kill them is brutal! You even behead the dead rats.”

Liz - “What? It’s a message to the other rats not to come here.”

Then they heard the loud banging noise in the attic. 

Blitz - “I’m guessing there’s a whole herd of them?”

Niffty - *excited* “Oooh it would be so fun to kill! *takes out a knife* Let me at them!”

Sonya - “Come on I’ll show you.”

Sonya led them to the attic stairs and Niffty zoomed up there. The others began to follow her. 

Charlie - “I don’t understand why you couldn’t just call an exterminator.”

Liz - “And spend a lot of money? No way.”

Angel - “She has a point doll face. It’s better to have the one we got now.”

Niffty was looking for the “heard of rats” until she saw something crawl under the blanket. 

Niffty - *manically giggled* “Let the stabbing begin!!”

Niffty jumped and was about to stab what’s under the blanket. But the blanket quickly moved and Niffty missed. Niffty looked annoyed and tried again, but kept missing. Getting frustrated, Niffty did a high jump and stabbed the end of the blanket. However, to the others' shock, it wasn’t a herd of rats that was in the attic or under the blanket. It was Pixie in her angelic form. 

Sonya - *shocked* “P-Pixie?”

Liz - *shocked* “Holy shit you’re back!”

Niffty - *disappointed* “Aww!! I wanted it to be a herd of rats.” 

Vaggie - *shocked and confused* “W-Wait, why is she back? Why is she-“

Before Vaggie said anything, Pixie ran toward Sonya and gave her a big hug. Sonya was a bit surprised at the first, but then noticed Pixie was shaking in fear. 

Sonya - *concerned* “Pixie, what’s wrong?”

Pixie - *fearfully* “They are looking for me.”

Charlie - “Who?”

Pixie - “Adam and Lute!”

Everybody gasps in shock. Based on what Charlie told them about those two, they can see how despite being in heaven and angels, they are the most vile. 

Charlie - “Wait, tell us what happened.”

Pixie - “This is what happened after I had to go back home.”

Flashback 

Sera - “I called you here today because I heard about rather disturbing news that you were in Hell.”

Adam - “Damn right she was! And we all know Hell is for sinners only!”

Lute - “You violated the rules about winners going to heaven! What do you have to say for yourself?!”

Pixie was standing in the middle of the court crying. 

Pixie - *crying* “No! No! Please, I was only playing…”

Lute - “Yeah! With demons that are nothing but low life monsters.”

Adam - “And they are fucking ugly.”

Sera - *sternly* “Now please.”

Emily - “Yeah! She’s just a little kid.”

Adam - “A little kid that broke a rule!” 

Lute - “This child should be erased from heaven and for nearly endangering us all!”

Pixie - *frighten* N-No I didn’t do anything! Just leave me ALONE!”

Saying alone loudly causes Pixie to unleash a giant ball of light power. This causes temporary blindness to all the angels including Lute and Adam. Seeing this as an attempt to escape, Pixie quickly ran off and used a portal to open it to Hell. She quickly jumped in and now saw that she was in Pentagram City. 

Pixie - “I gotta go find Sonya and Liz!”

Flashback ends 

Pixie - *sadly* “I know what I did was wrong. *holds Sonya’s hands* But I was so scared and even guilty about how you got hurt the last time. I felt like I just had to come back.”

Sonya - *sympathetic* “Oh Pixie…”

Charlie - *serious* “Adam and Lute aren’t going to get you Pixie. We will keep you safe and then talk to Sera about not punishing you.” 

Pixie - *whimpers* “R-Really? You want to help after what happened?”

Blitz - “Yeah. I mean Charlie told us how you find out hell isn’t bad Heaven claim it is.”

Vaggie - “We promise to protect you from those bastards.”

Pixie smiles on how the kind demons she met before is going to help her and keep her safe. All of a sudden, thanks to Blitz super good hearing, he heard his baby sister yelling in fear.

Blitz - “It’s Sophie! She’s in danger!”

Charlie - “The three of you stay here, we gotta go save Sophie!”

Sonya, Liz and Pixie - “Right!”

()()()()()()()()()

Sir Pentious - “Stay back my dear! My Egg Bois and I will protect you!”

While the others were gone, some of the Exorcists under the order of Adam and Lute, went to the hotel and looked for Pixie. Sophie was hiding behind Pentious as him and his Egg Bois were using weapons to fight back against the Exorcists. Some of the Egg Bois got crushed, but they were able to fight back and Sir Pentious’s weapons was working against them. 

However, one of the Excorists knocked down Sir Pentious and was about to hurt a crying scared Sophie. But just when the worst was going to happen, Blitz rushed in and gave the Excorists an extremely powerful magic punch and it sent the Excorist flying toward the wall. 

Sophie - *tearfully but happy* “Blitz!”

Sophie jumped in Blitz’s arm crying both tears of joy that her brother saved her, but also in fear that she almost got hurt by the Exorcists. Blitz hugged her tightly and gently rubbed her back. 

Blitz - *softly and comforting* “It’s okay Baby Girl. I got you.”

Sophie smiled and then screamed as an Exorcist tried to attack Blitz from the back. But then he got shot a bunch of times thanks to Angel Dust’s angelic Tommy guns. 

Angel - “You okay?”

Blitz - “Yeah. Thanks Angel.”

They turned and saw Vaggie fist fighting an Excorist. Then she kicked one in the stomach and held it down on the floor. 

Vaggie - *serious* “Why are you here?”

Excorist - “I don’t have to answer to you!”

Vaggie then pulled out a small angelic dagger and put it close to the Exorcist neck. 

Vaggie - *threateningly* “Would you like to repeat that?”

Excorist - *frightened* “Okay! Okay! We are looking for the missing Winner who goes by the name Pixie.”

Charlie - “Why do you want her?”

Excorist - “She doesn't belong in a horrible filthy place like this! She belongs Heaven!”

Angel - “What? A place that’s full of hypocrites? I don’t think so.”

Niffty - *impatient* “Let me stab them!!”

Charlie - “No. We need to make sure Pixie is safe first. Maybe if I talk to Sera and Emily, they can just give Pixie a warning or a time out.”

Husk - “Hate to burst your hope bubble but we got more fucking company!”

They went outside and saw a few more Exorcist coming toward the hotel. Charlie had a demon look on her face and said:

Charlie - “Come on guys! We can do this!”

()()()()()()()()()

Back at the house, Pixie, Sonya and Liz quickly and quietly got out the back door. Pixie was looking scared as she saw a few Exorcists were at the hotel. Sonya gently held her hand. 

Sonya - “Don’t worry. My cousins and her friends are strong people. They can take care of those losers.”

Pixie - *chuckles* “I always found them to be bloodthirsty monsters. So what do we do now?”

Liz - “Simple. We will go to our Uncle Luci’s place and maybe he can help out.”

Pixie - *hopefully* “Okay. That sound like a good plan.”

Then all of a sudden a golden chain came out and grabbed Pixie by the waist. She was then held up in the air and was being flown by an angelic device. 

Pixie - *fearfully* “Sonya!!”

Sonya - “Hang on Pixie!”

Sonya ran fast as she could to catch up and save Pixie. But the angelic flying device was too fast and Sonya was losing speed. To make herself go faster, Sonya took out her spellbook and quickly flip a page and said:

Sonya - “Jumpnia!”

The spell caused Sonya to do a jump at a really high rate. She was getting close to catching Pixie, but at the last minute, the angelic flying device moved faster causing Sonya to miss grabbing Pixie and began to fall much to Pixie’s horror.

Pixie - *horrified* “Sonya!!”

Pixie was taken away and now couldn’t see Sonya. Luckily, Sonya landed in a fruit cart and the soft fruits managed to break her fall and she didn’t get hurt. As she was getting out, she was wiping the fruit stains off her. The fruit seller was not happy that Sonya accidentally destroyed some of his fruits. 

Fruit Seller - *despair* “My fruits! *to Sonya angry* Your gonna pay for that you little-“

Sonya stuff a pineapple in his mouth and kick him in the nuts. 

Sonya - “Stuff it! *sighs* What now…I felt like I let down Pixie and who knows what those angelic bastards will do to her?”

Liz - “I wouldn’t feel so down yet Sonya.”

Sonya - “What do you mean?”

Liz - “Look on the ground.”

Sonya looked and saw some angelic feathers on the ground. Sonya picked one up and recognized it. 

Sonya - “It’s from Pixie’s wings! I read how sometimes angels shed the feathers in their wings from flying too fast, stress or molting.”

Liz - “If we find more of these, then we have a better shot on finding Pixie.”

()()()()()()()()

After defeating some of the Exorcists at the hotel, Charlie and the others left the hotel. Charlie tried calling Sonya but she wasn’t picking up. Then Charlie tried calling Liz, but Liz didn’t pick up either. 

Charlie - *worried* “Vaggie neither one of the twins are picking up their phones. *gasps in horror* “You don’t think…”

Vaggie - “No way. Don’t think like that.”

Charlie - *confident* “You’re right Vaggie. I know that would NEVER happen to them. I know they are out somewhere finding a place to keep Pixie safe.”

Angel - “Well we better find them. Who knows what those heaven bastards want to do.” 

Vaggie - “But in the meantime, we gotta find them.”

Blitz - “I think I can help with that. *to Pentious* You stay here with Sophie and if there is any trouble, call us.”

Sir Pentious - “Don’t worry Bat Boy. I promise to keep your little sister safe.”

They began to walk into the city hoping to find clues on where Sonya, Liz and Pixie are. Charlie couldn’t help but feel anxious about her baby cousins and their friend. She was worried about them getting hurt or worse. To help calm her senses, she does what she normally does when things get bad: singing. 

Charlie - *singing* All Pixie wanted to see her friend. Saw the good in Hell that wasn’t all pretend. My baby cousins are risking their life to save her, when I should have done a better job in the end…”

Vaggie - *singing* Charlie what happened wasn’t your fault. Those stupid Angels always see killing at their final results. But I know you do anything to keep them safe.

Angel - *singing* “Those little squirts are tough. They know to keep going when things get rough and can keep each other safe.”

Blitz - *singing* “Don’t be so hard on yourself Charlie. We are your friends and family. We promise to keep you guys safe. 

Unknowingly to them, as Sonya was running on the other side of the city to save Pixie, she also began to sing to help keep her anxiety down. 

Sonya - *singing* Oh this is all my fault! Pixie could die because of me, I need to set her free and keep her safe!”

Liz - *rapping* Hey sis don’t feel glum and lose hope. Those Angels are nothing but hypocrite dopes. I know we can keep Pixie safe. 

Sonya - *singing* Yeah you're right Liz. We are gonna kick the Angels asses and save Pixie. Showing Heaven that different society classes don't matter! We are gonna keep Pixie safe!”

Back to Charlie 

Charlie - *singing*  Adam and Lute are a disgrace to Heaven since they want to hurt my cousins who are only little.

Angel - *singing* “Uh, you do know that they are eleven?”

Charlie - *singing* “That’s still little to me!”

Blitz - *singing* “Come on guys! We still need to find the kids. We need to keep them safe and forbid Adam and Lute from hurting them.”

Back to Sonya and Liz

Liz - *rapping* “Those shitheads made a big mistake by hurting our home and friends. Saying they only want to protect is all a lie, they enjoy seeing anyone die!”

Sonya - “We aren’t going to give up! We will save Pixie, and send those angels back to the corrupt hole they call Heaven.”

Charlie, Vaggie, Sonya, Liz, Angel, and Blitz - *singing* “We will never turn our back on the ones we care about, and since the angels dared to harmed us, we will fight until we have Pixie/the kids safe from heaven’s light, and make sure they never hurt our friends again!” 

()()()()()()()()()

Later that day, Sonya snuck out to find the Heavenly Embassy and when she found it, she tried to open the door, but it wouldn’t budge.

Sonya- “Damn it! It’s locked! Now what?”

Liz- *smug* “Relax. Check your bag.”

Confused on what she means, Sonya began to reach into her bag and found one of Cherri’s bombs to her surprised. 

Sonya- *surprised* “Hey! How'd you get this?”

Liz- “Wild Cherri gave me some after her last turf war. She said it can help us if we need it.”

Sonya- “Well okay. I hope this works.”

She used her magic to light the bomb and threw it at the lock before running away. It exploded and it charred the lock off the door. 

Sonya- “Hey it worked! Remind me to thank Cherri later.”

Liz- “No prob!”

Sonya went inside and used stealth mode to make sure no one saw her. She was being extra quiet and making sure nobody was in the building. 

Liz- “Not bad but I doubt you could be a ninja.” 

Sonya- *annoyed* “Oh shut up!” 

She kept going until she came across the same office where Adam had that meeting with her cousin. 

Sonya - “Here it is! Let’s go!”

Surprisingly, it was unlocked and once inside, Sonya found a horrible sight: Pixie was on the ground and her arms & legs were tied up with angelic chains.

Sonya - *horrified* “Pixie! Oh no!”

Pixie - *desperate* “Sonya! Liz! No, stay back!”

Liz - “What? We are here to rescue you!”

Just when Sonya and Liz were about to try to free her, an angelic blast came their way but luckily they dodge it. Sonya and Liz looked up and saw Lute and Adam. 

Lute - *serious* “Many I ask why are you trying to free this prisoner?” 

Sonya - *upset* “Pixie isn’t a prisoner, she’s a friend of mine! You have no right to treat her like this.”

Sonya took out her magic spell book. Just before she can say a spell, Adam said:

Adam - “Don’t even try that baby mumbo jumbo shit.”

Adam uses his powers and blasts it into ashes much to Sonya’s horror. 

Lute - *darkly* “That demon shit won’t work on us.”

Adam - “Ha! Do you forget who I am, kid? I’m Adam the FIRST man. I can do whatever the fuck I want. Obviously the little brat chained up deserve to be punish for coming to this fucking dump of a place.”

Liz - *offended* “Hey! This place maybe a dump, but it’s our home!”

Adam - “Whoa! When the hell did Lucifer’s least important family member had a second head?”

Pixie - “She’s a Gemini! It’s a rare gift in Hell.”

Sonya - “Because I always have my sister by my side.”

Liz - “Hell yeah!”

Lute - *scoff* “Only a child would be stupid enough to believe that fairy tale bullshit.”

Sonya - *angry* “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Adam - “Well, since your brain is still young and stupid, let me put it in a way you should understand *began to sing* All that shit you heard about the Gemini is a fucking lie! It’s all in your head, you’re just a fucking nutcase like everybody else in Hell who I enjoy laughing at when they die.”

Sonya - *angry* “You shut up!” 

Lute - *singing* “You better listen to what Adam is saying, he's always telling the truth. Your family was just playing with your mind. It’s all in your head.”

Adam - “See? This is why Heaven is better than Hell since the winners know things so well and the sinners are nothing but fucking losers. Just like you!”

Sonya and Liz growled in anger. 

Pixie - *singing* “Sonya and Liz don’t listen to them! I believe you guys are Geminis, they are trying to put hateful lies in your head!”

Lute - *singing* “Oh please! What do you know? You’re just a child. The little demon just have a wild diease inside of her who don’t want to admit it’s all in her head.”

Sonya - *desperate* “No it’s not!”

Adam - *singing* “Oh please! Did you honestly believe your parents and cousin the fake Disney princess on what they tell you? 

Lute *singing* - “Did you think you were special? Unique? Rare?” 

Adam - *singing* Hate to tell ya kid but your just a sick piece of shit that nobody cares! It’s all in your head!” 

Lute - *singing* “If the Gemini is real, why we haven’t seen more of it? Something tells me that just a load of bullshit.”

Sonya was panting and holding her head. She began to have thoughts like “Was it truly a lie?”, “Am I truly sick?”, “Did my family lied to me?” Liz noticed the panic attack her sister was having. 

Liz - *comforting* “Sonya listen to me! We are a unique being like Mom, Dad and Cuz said! They would never lie to us, especially Cuz. I’m your twin sister! You’re not sick!”

Adam - *singing* “Oh now her “sister "is speaking to her. Maybe we should make an example so the little winner can see what we do to demons here!”

Lute - *darkly and sings* “With pleasure Adam.”

Adam went behind Sonya and grabbed her by the arms and flew up in the air. Lute followed as well as her hands began to glow in a yellow angelic form. 

Lute - *darkly* “Child or not you’re nothing but a sick demon filth.”

Adam - *fake comforting* “Now now, sweetie it won’t hurt…It’s just gonna make you wish you were dead!” *laughs*

Pixie - *desperately* “No, please don’t do this! Sonya! Liz!”

Lute’s hands went inside Sonya’s chest. All Sonya can do is close her eyes in fear and prepare for what’s going to happen.

Pixie - *crying* “NOOOO!!!!”

Unknowingly on the other side of the room, Charlie and the others actually made it to the heaven embassy since that was the only place Adam and Lute would visit in Hell and figured that was where they took Pixie. After fighting off some Exorcists, they heard Pixie cries of horror. They ran to the door and their eyes widened in horror: Lute actually pulled Liz out of Sonya’s body. 

()()()()()()()()

Ringing. 

All Sonya heard was a loud ringing sound. The only thing she even saw white. But then she heard something muffling. 

“Sonya...wake up!”

“Speak to us!”

“Come on Kid, wake up! Open your damn eyes!”

*sobbing* “Sonya, look at me! Please!”

Sonya’s eyes began to slowly roll back and her vision and hearing was weak. She saw Charlie (with tears in her eyes), holding Sonya in her arms, Vaggie, Blitz, Angel, looking really worried about their  friend and cousin. Even Pixie was broken free thanks to Vaggie’s spear. But then all of a sudden, Sonya began to breathe heavily and her vision was blurry. Sonya felt sick, weak, even looking deathly ill. 

Charlie - *horrified* “Sonya! Sonya what’s wrong?!”

Sonya was panting and weakly moved her sweater to reveal two golden slashes on her chest. This made the others look shocked and horrified.

Sonya - *weakly* “W-What? N-No! Where’s…Where’s…?”

They all looked up at Adam and Lute whose hands were struggling keeping hold on some kind of black sparkly blob. Both Adam and Lute were confused about what was happening. 

Lute - *struggling* “Can’t keep hold!”

Adam - *confused* “What the hell is even happening?!”

It proved too much for Adam and Lute as Lute’s hands burned up and she screamed in pain. And the blast from the blob knocked Adam and Lute down. The blob landed on the ground and it turned into Liz! She still had her eyes and slowly turned to the others and was relieved to see her sister still alive. Like Sonya, Liz also has two golden slash marks on her chest. Sonya weakly tried to walk to her sister but fell on the ground coughing hard. 

Pixie - *worried* “Sonya!”

Sonya - *weakly* “L-Liz…I-I need her!”

Lute - *groaning in pain* “Shit…My hands are fucked up!” 

Lute looked at her hands and saw that they now have burnt marks. Both Lute and Adam flew up back in the air. 

Adam - *growls* “What the fuck are you?!” 

Liz - *quietly* “A Gemini.”

Adam - “Speak up damn it! I can’t fucking hear you!”

Liz - “A *loud* GEMINI!!!”

She said it so loud it caused some lights to blow up, the place to shake, throwing Adam and Lute back to ground. Liz turned around and saw the others who were in shock and covering their ears from Liz’s loud holler. Then she glitched, held her head and chest in pain a little. Then she began to walk over to the others, but it was slow, due to her limping. Sonya tried to crawl to Liz but was too weak.

Sonya - *weakly gasping* “Liz…”

Charlie - “Wait Sonya, *picked her up* I'm gonna help you! Just hold on.”

Lute - *angry* “Oh no you don’t!”

Lute threw an angelic knife at Liz, but she quickly caught it and broke it by crushing it with her hands. The others including Adam and Lute stare in shock because no demon ever broke an angelic weapon. Liz continued to slowly walk toward Sonya and Charlie. 

Lute - *growls* “That’s enough!”

Lute began to throw more knives at Liz. An annoyed and angry Liz broke the knives and even broke one over her knees. She looked really angry and held her head in pain. Vaggie and the others also protected Charlie and Sonya from the attack. Adam was getting really frustrated that Liz kept on ignoring them and even breaking their weapons. 

Adam - “Why don’t you fucking die?!”

Adam got out his guitar/ax weapon and was about to strike Liz. But before Charlie can do anything, to everybody’s shock: Liz managed to grab Adam’s weapon by the tip of the shard with her hands. After a few struggles, Liz knocked down Adam along with Lute. They were knocked against the wall and saw Liz holding Adam’s weapon with ease. Adam and Lute actually felt fear for the first in their life and hugged each other in fear. Just when Liz was about to bring down the ax on them, she heard:

“LIZ STOP!!”

Liz turned around and saw it was Sonya who shouted that despite feeling serverly weak. Charlie had a concerned and worried look on her face as well. 

Charlie - *gently* “Please stop this Liz. They had enough.”

Sonya - *weakly* “They aren’t worth it…”

Those words got through Liz and seeing her sister looking deathly ill, she dropped the weapon. Then Charlie quickly ran toward Liz with Sonya in her arms. She gently set Sonya down on her feet. Sonya leg’s wobble a little, but Liz grabbed on to her. 

Sonya and Liz - *to Charlie* “Thank you.”

Sonya and Liz looked at each other, smiled, and hugged. Then there was a glow around them that made Charlie, Vaggie, Angel, Blitz, and Pixie cover their eyes. Then the glow stopped to reveal Sonya now all better and looking at her friends and cousin smiling. 

Charlie - *ecstatic* “Sonya! *ran to her and hugged her tightly* I’m so happy that you are okay! Is Liz still with you? Where is she?”

Sonya - *smiling* “Right where she always was. Right behind me.”

Sonya pointed to the back and saw Liz in her shadow form smiling and waving at the others.

All - *happy* “Liz!”

Pixie - *hugs them* “I’m so happy that you guys are okay!”

Sonya - “Hey, we are glad that you’re okay.” 

Pixie - *guilty* “I’m so sorry this happened. This is all my fault…”

Blitz - “Hey it’s okay. You were scared and just wanted to see your friend again.”

“Well this will be the last time!”

The others turned around and saw Adam and Lute despite looking weak and injured, were flying weakly. 

Adam - “You don’t end things like this! I’m the first man! I get to choose who lives and dies!” 

“No. You don’t!”

They saw a angelic portal opening and it was Sera along with Emily. 

Adam - *nervously* “O-Oh shit! Hey there. How ya been?”

Sera - *sternley* “Adam, I saw what you and your second in command tried to do to the poor demon and winner girl.” 

Lute - *disbelief* “Are you kidding me? *points to Sonya and Liz* aren’t you forgetting that demon your highness? And how did the winner actually go to Hell knowing it was illegal?” 

Emily - “But they are still children.”

Sera - “And you don’t decide how to punish winners. Also harming a royal member is illegal. Now both of you go back to heaven. Now.”

Taking in defeat, Adam and Lute went through the portal to go back to Heaven. Then she turned to Pixie who has a guilty look on her face.

Pixie - *sad* “I’m really sorry about all this. I just wanted to see what Hell is like and believe me, not all demons are bad.” 

Emily - “Yeah Sera. Pixie is also just a little kid. Beside, she didn’t really cause any danger to heaven or hell.”

Sera - *sighs* “I suppose I can let her off with a warning. But she will need to be punishment: Pixie isn’t allowed to visit Hell for a month.”

Emily - “But after the month ends, she can go visit Hell as long as she gets permission from us.”

Pixie smiled at this and hugged Sonya and Liz in her shadow form hugged her as well. Pixie grabbed Sera’s hand and waved the others goodbye just as all three of them went through the portal to go back to Heaven. 

Charlie - “So…Who’s up for ice cream?”

()()()()()()()()()

After getting some ice cream, Charlie and the others went back to the hotel after an intense day. Sonya and Liz already called their parents that they were staying with Charlie for the night which they happily allowed. At night, Charlie was in the hallway after getting some water, and saw Sonya and Liz awake but staring at the window. Charlie went into their room and gently tapped their shoulder. It got the twins attention and they both turned around and saw Charlie. 

Charlie - “Are you guys okay?”

Sonya - “Actually to be honest...Yeah I am.”

Charlie - “Really?”

Liz - “Yeah Cuz. I mean, yeah it’s sucks we can’t see Shybug for a month, but I’m glad those head angels decided not to kill her.”

Sonya - “And they did give Pixie permission to visit us.”

Charlie - “Yeah that’s true. At least that is the only good thing Sera did so far...”

Sonya - “But there is something else too.”

Charlie - “What is it?”

Sonya - “Well...When that angelic Karen pulled Liz out of me, I was shocked and scared cause I thought I was going to die. But then it made me realize something too: we are truly a Gemini. Liz was always meant to be a part of me and be my twin sister. We are not sick like everybody claims we are. I would like to meet other Gemini’s someday but now we know they are really rare to find.” 

Liz - “Plus in a way, even though I felt sick and weird being pulled out, I also felt like I was meant to share the same body with Sonya and exist alongside her. I can’t imagine being without her, and how truly unique and a blessing being a Gemini is. 

Charlie - “Well of course. You know I would never lie to you about this stuff Sonya and Liz.” 

Sonya - “I know you wouldn’t Cousin Charlie...Thank you for helping me and Liz...And everything else.”

Charlie - *smiling* “No problem Sonya. We are two peas in a pod after all.”

Both cousins hugged each other. Even Liz in her shadow form hugged Charlie from the back. 

Charlie - “Come on. Let’s go downstairs and eat some ice cream sundaes.”

Liz - “Can they have sprinkles?”

Charlie - *smiles* “Of course.”

Both Charlie and Sonya went downstairs to the kitchen to make some ice cream sundaes. Both are happy that despite the intense and horrified battle they counter, Sonya and Liz are okay and showed that they truly are what they always were: a Gemini. And how Sera giving Pixie a light punishment, is a sign to both Charlie and Sonya that maybe someday heaven can change for the better and allow Charlie’s dream to come true. 

Hope you all like it!

[sonicasura]

TF/M+R: Wrecker's Little Girl

A set of headcanons involving Wheeljack adopting Kanya from Mario + Rabbids from this post here. Enjoy!

Kanya

Species: Rabbid, Spark Hunter variety

Alignment: Chaotic Neutral

Occupation: Inventor/Wrecker

A Rabbid who literally crashed into Wheeljack's life after the events of Last Spark Hunter. He took her in and nursed her back to health. Kanya is still arrogant, manic and a bit mean but mellows into a nicer individual thanks to Wheeljack. She only shows kindness to those who she likes. Has therapy companions in the form of a dud Bob-omb named Bub and a Chain Chomp known as Nippy. (Wheeljack still doesn't know how she got em but let's them stay.)

-Daddy's little feral princess. Kanya is often spoiled by the Autobot with her own workshop, testing ground and all sorts of stuff like plushies. Even has a homemade star shaped stim toy she can bite when nervous.

- Often fights in a mech suit but her main weapon is a remote control yo-yo called the Ring O' Bomber. This item rolls around an explosive that becomes active once detached the string and has a 10 meter radius to move alongside a 10 second timer before detonating. A new bomb regrows in 10 seconds after detachment.

-Loves terrorizing calm leader types and grumps. Doesn't get much jollies with skittish people though since they're too easy to spook. TFP Ratchet is terrified of Kanya and she vows to break TFP Optimus Prime's calm persona. Ultra Magnus was a fun challenge.

-Absolutely kidnapped Breakdown from MECH just because she wants to know his beef with 'uncle Bulkhead'. He'd endured the most awkward tea party until Wheeljack had to let the Decepticon go after realizing what Kanya did. Breakdown will take that than vivisection from the MECH documents said Rabbid stole. (Prime only.)

-Don't put any fingers in Kanya's biting range. Many Cybertronians nearly lost a servo for doing so, Autobots and Decepticons. A much bigger menace to the latter since they don't learn. (G1)

Wheeljack

Species: Cybertronian, Autobot faction

Alignment: Chaotic Good

Occupation: Inventor/Demolition Expert/Wrecker

Kanya's foster father who cared for her since she crashed into his life. A fun loving inventor that tries to steer his Rabbid daughter to use her chaotic skills for something better than world domination. (He managed to get her to become neutral!) Be careful when visiting his workshop though. Wheeljack's inventions still have a tendency to explode! Even moreso with his daughter now around.

-Likes to spoil Kanya whenever he can. The Autobot figures some positive reinforcement will help with her mental issues. Especially after hearing about the Rabbid's origins. It works since she didn't bite him on the second week of recovery.

- Need to explain an invention or plan? Wheeljack usually lets Kanya go over it with the group and adds commentary when needed. It makes her happy so why not?

-Spray bottle. He always carry one as Kanya has a habit of 'overloading'. A nice spritz snaps her outta an episode and he can care for her accordingly. Only Wheeljack is allowed to handle Kanya during this period. He has made it an established rule for everyone's safety.

-'Get out of jail free card.' There have been MANY times he had to rescue someone solicited to his daughter's "tea parties". Autobots, Decepticons, etc. He casually warned Team Prime about it. They didn't believe him until Wheeljack gave footage of Breakdown's party. (Prime)

-Only person who can pick up Kanya without getting bitten. He always gives someone warning to watch their servos around his Rabbid daughter. Do they listen? NO. Wheeljack just pats a smug Kanya on the head afterwards. (G1)

That's it for now! Until next time folks, transform and roll out!

[tickle-bugs]

Summer Lovin’

Summary: A hot summer’s day in Hawkins leaves Steve with time to kill. Fortunately, Eddie is the most distracting human being on the face of the Earth. Romantic Steddie. (Now feels like a good time to remind everyone I have seen ZERO episodes of stranger things and am therefore not liable for ooc content thank u enjoy)

Update: There’s a loose sequel now! Check out I’m So Down here :)

Hawkins is hot. The summertime air is insufferable and thick with humidity. Even with the car’s AC blasting, the sun is trying its damndest to toast every visible inch of its driver. Not to mention the bugs. Steve’s one mosquito bite away from burning the place down. 

Thankfully getting rid of Dustin and co. for the afternoon dropped the interior temperature of the car, like, twenty degrees. Bad news is, he has to pick them up in a few hours and he’s not looking forward to it. 

Eddie’s the last one to debark from Harrington’s Wild Ride as they rumble up outside his trailer. He leans his forearms on the passenger door until Steve rolls down the window. 

“Wanna hang out?” Eddie sticks his head into the car window to siphon some AC. He’s still wearing his jacket like an idiot, and Steve’s counting down the minutes until the sun claims him and he disintegrates like a vampire. 

“And do what, exactly?” Steve flicks away a bead of sweat before it runs. 

“TVs busted, so no movies…We could play D&D?” Eddie drums out a beat on the door. 

“Munson, I just dropped the kids off—“

“We don’t need ‘em! I’ll show you. C’mon.” Eddie spins on his heel with a smile. Steve sighs and takes his sweet, sweet time getting out of the car. 

He’s been trying to avoid unsupervised contact with Eddie. He doesn’t do well with it. 

“Welcome to Casa del Munson.” Eddie bumps the trailer door open with his hip and a flourish. A startling and welcome chill rushes over both of them. Steve spots the culprit in the corner—a bucket of ice propped precariously in front of a giant, gently-rattling fan. 

“Nice place.” Steve takes it in. A cramped table covered edge-to-edge in board game…stuff—he recognizes the d20s at least—and unopened bags of chips. There’s a beaten-up couch against the wall with a heavy sag on the middle cushion. Bedroom, kitchen, living room, bathroom—comfortably small. 

“Thanks.” Eddie cracks open a soda from a nearby cooler and tosses Steve one before he can think to ask. It’s blissfully cold. 

It’s here, as Eddie sheds his jacket in the sunlit living room, that Steve is introduced to Eddie’s worst invention, which will ultimately be his undoing. 

Eddie’s got a new shirt. Kinda. 

Not even Steve knows how many Hellfire Club shirts Eddie owns, but he’s never seen this one. Eddie’s cut the raglan into a t-shirt that hangs loose on his body, but somehow he’s misplaced the entire bottom half of it. Stick and poke tattoos of bats, music notes, guitars and dice litter his skin like doodles in a notebook’s margins.

Steve knows he’s staring. There’s not much he can do but acknowledge it. Staring at Eddie has become a pastime far quicker than Steve’s become ready to admit that he might play for multiple teams. He’s just nice to look at, that’s all. Pretty, even. That’s a normal thing to think. 

God, where’s Robin when you need her? 

Eddie flits around the table, arranging and tidying the busy array of game components. He takes on a frantic sort of timidness as he scuttles about. Like his brain is running too fast and he doesn’t want Steve to know. At least the manic pacing gives him a reason to stare. 

“Normally I’d build a character with you, but you…no use killing that kinda time. I’ll do it for you.” Eddie pulls out one of the folding chairs at the table, ever the gentleman. Steve opens his mouth to protest but Eddie’s already gone. He sits. 

He takes his seat behind a giant partition—a Dungeon Master’s screen—and peeks at Steve over it. Every once and a while his head completely disappears, save for a few curls, as he mutters fervently to himself.

“Thought you needed a group to play. Isn’t that the point?” Steve finishes his soda and crushes the can between his palms. 

“Yes, but you don’t have to. It’s about the experience. I’ve got plenty of beginner’s modules anyway.” Eddie smiles at him over the DM screen and disappears again. Steve wrinkles his nose at ‘beginner’, his ego rearing its head, but he doesn’t have it in him to squabble quite yet. Dice clatter against the table and Steve can hear a pencil fighting for its life over there, but all he can make out are those curls. 

After a few moments of grumbling, page flipping, and pencil scratching, Eddie pops up from his chair and hums a triumphant, obnoxious fanfare. 

“I dub thee Steve, a fighter and the bravest of adventurers.” Eddie flaps the paper around like a flag in the wind before handing it over. There’s…a startling amount of numbers on the character sheet and he doesn’t understand all of them, but that’s not what catches his eye. 

Eddie’s doodled in red ink all over the paper. Swords, dice, dragons, and bags of gold--a patchwork not unlike his torso. There’s even a tiny drawing of what Steve assumes is himself in armor, if the hair and the sparkles are anything to go by. Steve hopes he’s able to reign in his expression from ‘infatuated dope’ to ‘coolly neutral’ because if not, Robin will smell a chance to tease him from miles away and break down the door. 

“Cool.” He looks up. Eddie’s gazing at him intently, like he’s waiting for approval, and the moment is vanishes before Steve can do more than furrow his brow. 

“Here. You can borrow some of my dice.” Eddie palms him a set of red, white, and blue dice that vaguely reminds Steve of his Scoops uniform. That makes him smile more than it should. Fuck, he’s gone soft.

“Ready?” Eddie balances a d20 on his finger for a split second, trying to be cool, and drops it. 

“As I’ll ever be,” Steve chuckles.

“Awesome. I’ll explain as we go, so don’t sweat it if you don’t get it right away. Our adventure begins in the streets of Melore…” Eddie sweeps his hands over the table as he pulls both of them into the story flourishing within the pages of his mind.

D&D is…fun. Really fun. Like a video game, but he’s in it. Eddie’s world is rich and whimsical, and he often breaks his dramatic Dungeon Master character to congratulate Steve on his exploits. He conquers beast after beast at Eddie’s behest, as mercenary work for the town, and starts to delve deeper into the mystery woven here. Something about the alderman’s daughter and the sudden uprising of monsters seems off and it’s bothering him so deeply. 

Though the greatest challenge that the legendary Steve had yet to face, apparently, is going fucking shopping. All the merchants in town can’t stand him for some reason, despite only having helped their businesses by making Melore safer. He’s bickered his way down the list to the last vendor, a very attractive elf with an even more attractive array of healing potions. 

“Look here, pretty boy, my prices are my prices. Unless you can persuade me—“ a more obvious hint has never been delivered— “Everything goes for ticket price.” Eddie’s come fully around the table as he has repeatedly during the adventure, bleeding the fantasy into the air all around them. Right now, as he leans into Steve’s personal space, he can’t help but feel he’s really staring this…startlingly flirty shopkeep in the eye. He starts to sweat. 

“Persuade you, huh?” Steve stands slowly. His hands are definitely shaking. 

“Correct. You’re easy on the eyes, but you don’t seem much for conversation.” Eddie crosses his arms, heavy in character. Steve wonders how much of this is Eddie messing with him and how much of it is shit luck. 

He is, in fact, much for conversation. His character’s hesitance is all Steve’s own, but his sheet has a +3 to charisma and he’s gathered that that’s good. 

He glides into Eddie’s personal space and puts the world’s most awkward hand on his shoulder, somewhere between consoling and convincing. Not the best start. 

“Are we making out or are we rolling persuasion?” Eddie’s brow raises, a cheeky grin dancing upon his face. Yep, definitely Eddie messing with him.

“Yeah, yeah I’m rolling. Don’t cream your pants,” Steve mumbles, turning around to roll. He hopes he doesn’t look as red as he feels. 

Natural 1. Shit. 

“Y’know in some circles, a lack of social skills can make someone charming.” Steve gives his best smile. 

“Really? I’ll note that next time I meet someone charming.” Eddie rolls his eyes. 

Steve scowls and squeezes Eddie’s side without thinking. It’s something he does to Robin or the kids when they’re teasing and he can’t think of a quip to fire back, not even conscious, and he probably wouldn’t have done it if he had thought about it—

Eddie yelps and the adventure in Melore shatters. The trailer goes quiet, save for the fan still rattling away in the corner. 

“Oh? Doth mine ears deceiveth me or whatever, or did you just shriek?” Steve narrows his eyes. From head to toe, Eddie turns a lovely shade of pink. 

“No. Uh-uh. Nope. Your ears are totally deceiving you.” He starts backing away, hands outstretched. His rings glint in the light. 

Steve makes the conscious choice to toss his dignity in the garbage. Eddie’s smile is higher up on his priority list. 

“Hmm, I dunno. My, uh, perception is pretty high.” Steve clicks his tongue and sidles closer, one slow step at a time. Eddie hits the wall much faster than he thought he would, if the deer-in-headlights look is anything to go by. He hides a nervous grin behind his hair and weighs his options.

He makes a break for it. Steve catches him in his arms as easily as breathing. 

“Woah! Where do you think you’re going?” Steve’s fingers alight upon Eddie’s stomach and he crumples into the wall. His giggles bounce in time with his curls as he scrambles up onto his toes, as if he can crawl onto the ceiling and disappear. 

“You suck!” As he curls in on himself, so do his snickers. He tries to block the skin he can with his elbows, but Steve keeps finding the holes in his armor. 

“Rude,” Steve scoffs, working one finger into a soft spot just beneath his ribs. Eddie squeals and grabs Steve’s wrists. A wave of bargaining and cursing tumbles from his lips, but it all gives way to high-pitched, frantic, adorable laughter. 

Adorable. Hm, that’s new. 

“S-Steve!” Eddie sounds like he might giggle himself into orbit. He tosses his head back into the wall and snorts. He can’t seem to decide whether his hands should cover his face or try to stop Steve, and watching him play ‘Heads, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes’ with himself is beyond entertaining. Steve decides then and there that he only ever wants to hear his name like this, floating out among Eddie’s infectious laughter in the light of the setting sun. 

“What’s up, Munson?” Steve smirks, prodding into Eddie’s stomach. He hits a spot just above a tattoo and Eddie jumps straight into the air, like he’s gonna climb Steve to get away from, well, Steve. 

“The game!” Eddie manages, his voice finding every possible octave. The snort makes a triumphant return as Steve occupies himself with gently kneading at Eddie’s bare waist. 

“Relax, it’s not going anywhere,” He hums. 

He’s not expecting Eddie to go fucking boneless in his arms at the next squeeze, and the extra weight sends him colliding into the arm of the couch. He folds backwards as the world tilts and he’s suddenly very grateful they started tussling near the couch of all places. 

“Woah, going down!” Steve laughs, bouncing off the cushions. Eddie topples onto him, a heap of frizzy curls and fading laughter. They lay there for a moment, relishing in consequenceless touch with only the last whispers of the sun as a witness. Eddie pushes himself up onto his hands and hovers over Steve, his face beyond flushed, and his lips start to quirk into that wild, mischievous grin that he gets when he’s about to say something ridiculous. 

Well, that won’t do. 

Steve finds a spot at the back of Eddie’s ribs that makes his elbows give out from under him. Steve lets out an ‘oof’ as Eddie’s body knocks the wind out of his lungs, but soon enough his fingers find a comfortable home in the divots on Eddie’s back. He immediately kicks up into an bouncy bout of belly-laughter, like glitter twirling in the air. There, that’s better. 

“Ah shihihit!” Eddie rolls and wedges himself against the back of the couch, hands scrunched before him with T-Rex range of motion. Unbothered, Steve pinches at the hipbones that Eddie’s so graciously left uncovered. He cackles and tries to bring his knees to his chest, but there isn’t enough room. 

“Ooh, must be bad. Let me check.” Steve mock-hisses in sympathy and dives back in for more. 

“N-Not there, dohohon’t!” Eddie shrieks his first words of protest through all of this. Steve instantly slows his fingers. 

“Gimme like, one good reason why I shouldn’t.” He searches and listens for any discomfort, any genuine distress, but all he gets is a gleaming smile and dimples and distractingly bright eyes—

“It tickles, you asshole!” Eddie snickers, loosely grabbing at Steve’s wrists. His laughter has a habit of snowballing on him, Steve’s noticed, like his lungs aren’t big enough to contain it all. 

“I said gimme a reason why I shouldn’t, dipshit. Now you’re just egging me on.” Steve manages to reach for Eddie’s hip and ribs at the same time and pulls forth the funniest fucking noise he’s ever heard another man make, somewhere between a cackle and a snort, and Steve absolutely loses it. 

“G-Goddamnit Harrington!” Eddie giggles like a maniac directly into Steve’s neck, snuggling closer like it’s going to protect him, and Steve doesn’t realize how much his guard has fallen until he’s barking out a startled laugh and shoving Eddie’s face away. They both blink at each other. Twin smiles grow on their faces, though Steve’s is far more nervous. 

“We can—“ 

“Talk about this? I think the fuck not.” Eddie grins, wiggling his long, calloused fingers just above Steve’s sides. Before he can blink, before he can breathe, Eddie is grinning wildly down at him like a kid on Christmas. 

“Any last words? Bonus points if it’s begging for your life.” Eddie makes a show of cracking his fingers, rings and all. Steve clenches his jaw and grabs for the dignity that he tossed earlier, but then Eddie’s fingers are plucking some invisible melody upon his sides like the neck of his guitar and he’s utterly gone.

In hindsight, he might’ve brought this upon himself. Arguably. Possibly. 

He flips Eddie off with both hands, going down swinging, and Eddie gasps in mock offense. He shoves his hands under Steve’s arms and the squeakiest cackle bursts from his lips, then another, then another, until he’s folding into Eddie’s grip.

“F-Fuck you!” Steve’s forehead knocks into Eddie’s chest and he stays there, hiding his face. Even when Eddie gets a hold of his knee—Christ, that’s terrible—he stays the course.

“Oh yeah?” Eddie grins most wickedly. A burst of butterflies in Steve’s stomach pushes him dangerously towards giggling. He can’t even get another threat out and hearing his own laughter makes him laugh more. So, he brings back a classic. He flips Eddie off again and stands his ground. 

Curious, deft fingers seeking the skin behind his ears quickly crumble that warrior spirit, though. 

“Fuckin’ adorable.” Eddie laughs above him, gently scritching at the shell of Steve’s ears. Steve screeches bloody murder in response. 

Somewhere between breathless cursing and pleading for his life, Eddie remembers mercy. The revenge is nowhere near proportional to the original crime but Steve isn’t complaining. He feels like he’ll explode if Eddie’s hands find their way under his arms again. Or, if he keeps looking at him like that.

Eddie gets a wistful look about him, that strange timidness returning. He awkwardly pats Steve’s chest and goes to swivel off the couch, but Steve’s hand on his bicep stops him.

“Hey Eddie?” Steve swallows. His heart thunders in his ears. He wants to believe he isn’t still giggling, but he knows it’s useless. 

“Yeah?” Eddie’s breath audibly catches. He clears his throat. 

“Is it cool if I kiss you?” Steve cautiously brings his hands to hover on either side of Eddie’s face. Not touching. But they could. 

“Oh, please do.” Eddie beams at him, the last shreds of sunlight blooming warmth into those big brown eyes, and leans in to close the distance. Steve smiles into the kiss. He feels airy, like bubbles on the wind, like nothing could come between the two of them in the quiet of the trailer. 

Eddie immediately ruins it, of course, by vibrating his hand into Steve’s stomach, sending them both toppling off the couch and into a chase so remarkably asinine for the size of the trailer. It keeps them occupied until Dustin calls though, and that’s all either of them can ask for. 

[discet]

Was thinking about the Marcy in the Boiling Isles au when I realized an "escaping expulsion" episode would go completely differently. Like, imagine the scene with bump, odalia, aldador and the kids ('cept it's with Marcy instead of Luz) when the door suddenly opens and Lilith is standing there.

Bump: Ah, Miss Clawthorne. Welcome.

Odalia: Lilith Clawthorne! I-it's such an honor to meet the head of the Emperor's Coven.

Lilith: Thank you, Miss Blight, but I'm not here on Coven business. I'm here in my capacity Marcy's caretaker.

Odalia: ... Her what

Lilith: Marcy's my ward - her well-being is my responsibility, including her education. Now, Principal Bump, what's the issue here?

Odalia: (deer-in-the-headlights look)

This is very funny and definitely one of those canon episodes that just doesn't really work in the context of the AU. Cause Marcy's close friend group is herself, Odelia's daughter, and the Golden Guard.

Though this does bring up a funny thing I have thought for this AU.

EPISODE 1:1X

When Marcy and Amity start dating, its at first on the downlow since Amity doesn't want to deal with her parents disapproval, but as she grows more confident and rebellious, asks Marcy to come to the manor to more or less pick a fight with her parents about it.

Amity warns Marcy that this could be rough, but Marcy reassures her as they approach Blight manor hand in hand. Only... things don't Welcomes Marcy with open arms, reprimands the twins when they try to prank Marcy (not maliciously, Marcy and the twins have an ongoing prank war in the AU), offers to fund a date night for the two of them before Amity pulls her aside and leaves Marcy with Alador.

Amity asks her mom why she's so supportive of Marcy, and Odelia is just congratulating Amity on such a good catch. An apprentice of Lilith Clawthorne? Witnessed as working alongside the Golden Guard? Rumored to have the ear of the emperor? Networking at its finest. And Amity is so frustrated cause none of those things are why she's dating Marcy. And she starts trying to discredit Marcy as a good choice, going as far as to reveal she's a human. But those are all petty in Odelia's eyes compared to what Marcy brings to the table. Before Amity can get can another word in Odelia shoves a tray full of snacks into her arms to bring out for their guest.

Amity still frustrated heads out to the parlor room but finds her dad and Marcy gone. After searching a bit she finds both of them in her father's workshop working together on some invention, maybe the abomatons. Marcy offering ideas at a manic pace and arm deep in abomination goop. Seeing Amity Alador says they should take a break and tells her Marcy was a good kid and he approved.

Marcy hops down happy to see Amity and apologizes for wandering off. Marcy is happy that her parents seem to accept them (something she doesn't necessarily think would happen with her own parents). Amity agrees kind of weakly and admits she was kind of hoping for the opportunity to stand up to them.

Marcy offers to act like a jerk if that would help, but Amity declines and says they have some snacks in the parlor and Marcy is starving so she starts taking off the gloves and boots she put on to work.

Then she trips.

And in a rube goldberg like escalation of chaos causes just causes an avalanche of destruction through the warehouse destroying thousands if not tens of thousands worth of snails in damage. Odelia walks back in with Alador, and Amity has her chance to stand up to them as her mom goes ballistic.

[book-o-scams]

Ed, Edd n Eddy Series Bible (1996) -Analysis-

You can all finally read/download Ed, Edd n Eddy's official Series Bible right here! Thanks again to Chuckletons for sharing this with me and to Joey/Kongiscool0518 for sharing it in the first place, the Holy Grail of lost Ed, Edd n Eddy trivia!

One of the first posts I made for this blog was the Series Bible page. It was a composite of every source we had ever seen reference the series bible so far-- storyboarders in interviews, CN's old character guides, and the biggest source, an old CN UK posting about the show. Well, I figure now that we have the official source, I better update the old page (so everyone knows it's out of date), and make this new Series Bible post using the official source! Not much new information, but I was intrigued to finally learn the true phrasings of some things we had only heard paraphrased, as well as at least one detail from the movie that I couldn't believe came up this early in conception...

Unfortunately, Tumblr has apparently updated its post system to only let me add 10 images? Gonna try and only use images for what I need since you can read the actual document above, I guess I'll transcribe it too for easier reference and so we don't ever lose some archive of this.

Quickly, let's review what a series bible is:

A series bible is how creators pitch shows to networks. They can be called “pitch bibles” as well. Bibles do not usually get posted publicly, because they are initially under a strict Non-Disclosure Agreement by the network; also the creator may simply not wish to share it because it reflects the earliest stages of development.

The pitch materials typically include early concepts for characters, locations and episodes. Sometimes it exposes secrets, in this case, Ed and Eddy’s home lives, and sometimes the stuff in it is completely abandoned because it’s so early in production, in this case, casual references to school and adults.

Alright, everybody, it's time to gather 'round and read the Ed, Edd n Eddy Bible!

THE YEAR IS 1996.

YOUR NAME IS LINDA SIMENSKY. YOU WORK AT CARTOON NETWORK. A FRIEND OF YOURS, DANNY ANTONUCCI, IS WRAPPING UP A SHOW ON MTV. YOU GET THIS FAX.

Linda Simensky immediately fell in love with this concept because as a child, she was best friends with 2 other Lindas for seemingly no reason other than the shared name.

I love how Danny decided last second to pencil in the correct names over each Ed, since they're arranged out of title-order.

"They're friends because they have the same name."

-the Logline for the series.

Fun fact: one storyboard artist for the movie observed that the movie is essentially all about challenging the series' original notion that the Eds are friends ONLY because of their name.

"A Danny Antonucci Cartuna"

-the label Danny used to use under announcements of new productions.

PAGE 1:

Ed, Edd n Eddy

They're best friends because they have the same name.

A gag laden, beat generated CARTOON bumper car ride of 3 misfit youths on a cul-de-sac in the suburbs of America.

Through summer vacation, part-time jobs, or just hang'n out at the corner mail box, they want to belong....but CAN'T.

From home chores, helping neighbors or eating jaw breakers, they want to fit in...but CAN'T.

Ed is into "B" monster movies, model kits and is quick to break out into rashes.

Lots of luck...

Edd is into chemistry, biology and prone to crushes.

Later...

Eddy is into pranks, is stylish and flaunts himself to the world.

Ya Right...

Ed, Edd n Eddy is a show about confusion and contradiction, that awkward part of youth, pimples, big feet, oily hair and... girls???.

Puberty is unforgiving.

I was fascinated by the lack of art on this page, it makes the pitch feel very focused. AKA logo in the corner, the title logo again up top, then the logline appears again below.

I really love the breakdown of Danny's vision of the show. "Gag-laden, beat-generated, CARTOON bumper ride." Very accurate, and I think "beat-generated" is the phrase that interests me the most. I typically think of "animation beats" as sort of a give-in-- technically all things fit a rhythm, so all stories are essentially just a montage of beats. But this does make me realize how important the strength of the beats and their rhythm are to the pacing of a cartoon and making you feel like "that was a good one." I feel like the "seasonal rot" viewers feel over the course of a show, and the way that perception differs from person to person, depends on the type of beats you want. Even though I am very into the experimental beats of a show in its later seasons, I can definitely see how season 1's beats are more typically appealing to a wide-audience, and how important a focus on that is to the longevity of a show.

I found it really interesting how the scams are initially conceived of here as "summer jobs." It adds to the sense that adults were originally meant to be present. Honestly a little surprised nobody with access to this bible had ever thought to mention that-- scams are not referenced ANYWHERE. Their image in the Series Bible is that they have summer jobs and help neighbors, which is certainly a much cleaner reputation than the Eds ended up with in the show. Makes me realize though, were some of the early scams, like Ed's Hive Bee Gone and their newspaper routes, supposed to be leaning into this early idea of them with almost legit jobs for unseen adults?

I was very amused by the repeated phrase that the Eds simply CAN'T fit in.

Loved to finally see the official phrasing for the confirmation that Peach Creek is in America. Not much different than I was led to believe, but still nice to have the true quote.

Also love Eddy being described as "stylish and flaunting himself to the world." The bold-print reactions to each micro-description is a cute idea too, I truly wonder who we were meant to picture saying those things in reaction. Each Ed? Kevin?

The "corner mail box" is an oddly specific phrase-- the Eds do hang around mailboxes throughout the series, especially seasons 1-3, and I believe the canon map does have a corner mailbox, but the idea that the Eds hang out at one specific mailbox went the way of Bro's supposed secret treehouses.

PAGE 2:

Ed, Edd n Eddy

Show Description

Gag laden. True cartoon style, inventive, non parody, fast paced, stretch and squash

Beat driven. (even when characters stop they hold with a bounce cycle. Adults never bounce. Music can play important part, not just fill.) But not a musical.

Cartoon surrealism. (viewers see the show as Ed, Edd n Eddy would, less important things tend to blend into the background, while objects of Ed, Edd n Eddy's desires are focused. Premise driven.)

The school year's over, (yeah!!!!) and the long HOT summer vacation begins (gulp). What to do?

Stuck on a cul-de-sac in the suburbs of America is the last place you want to spend summer break, especially when you find life confusing and contradicting.

Ed, Edd n Eddy is about friendship, and serves to remind us that they're no "good ole days," just smelly runners.

You can tackle anything, when your with your pals.

Their days are spent, for knowledge, acceptance and some cash for jaw breakers. Armed with pimples, big feet and oily hair the three amigos trek into the unknown.

Ed, Edd n Eddy are dying to be grown-ups, but they're kids, and attack adulthood as only kids would. Simple situations turn into a manic rollercoaster ride. (Don't forget your barf bag).

They just want to belong, and they're willing to pull off any insane stunt to prove it. First they need to figure out what it is they want to belong to.

Found it interesting that on this page, the show's logo is replaced with the title written in a jumbled font. Seems like the font from the show's end credits.

Hehe, the continued reactions to the descriptions. Allow me to be Double D for a moment and point out the increased use of parentheticals on this page, as well as one wrong "your".

I love Danny's insight that season 1 is framed by the context of how hyped everyone still is just to be out of school, but also the sense of pressure to make use of their break.

I really appreciate Danny getting further into the details of his summary of the show's style on the previous page. It only makes sense that he had this much of a vision that early.

A second confirmation of the cul-de-sac being in America! I'm also really into the repeated focus on the Eds finding the world "contradicting." I always loved how EEnE's inexplicable cartoon antics supported that sense that the Eds are highly aware of contradictions in both societal things and the actual characters.

WOW, so I'm fascinated by this dual reveal. Before the wiggling outlines, which Danny usually calls a "boiling line" and describes as a tribute to wiggling inking in early animation, the series bible instead refers to him wanting the characters to do the iconic Fleischer "bounce," which is a much more commonly recognized rubberhose animation technique. Very interesting that Danny decided not to stick to that. Did it feel too out of place? Or was the overseas team not willing to animate a weight-shifting for every single held pose? Haha, guess I can see why boiling was an easier compromise. I wonder if he had any other ideas for how to make it more of a 1930s cartoon.

The other reveal to me here is that the movie's choice, that adults don't always wiggle in the show, was an idea from the very beginning! I guess I can better understand now why it's just too difficult to communicate a stylistic choice like that overseas-- no point making Bro not wiggle, that'd just create confusion.

Also, really disappointed that my wish for a musical is officially squashed in the series bible itself. That's a tragedy. The show's over, ya couldn't let me dream, Danny!? Conversely, I love Danny's forethought to say "non parody," I definitely noticed and appreciated EEnE's avoidance of derivative parody humor.

My spouse had to point out to me that Danny probably means sneakers here, lol. Canadianisms!

The comments about the Eds wanting to grow up but needing to figure out what they want to belong to are so great and relate to the movie so well. I've heard those comments before, but the correct phrasing was cool to see.

PAGE 3:

Ed, Edd n Eddy (image of Ed in right corner)

Character Description

Ed

Attention deficiency syndrome.

He has trouble...

He can't....um...

OK, he draws all day in class.

When Eddy gets a bright idea...Ed's in.

Ed is easily talked into doing Eddy's "hard work". He has great physical strength.

Ed's happiest with his Model kits and B-monster movies. He draws his knowledge from his movies.

Ed smells. Flies are attracted to him.

Ed has sayings for all situations

ED: "you can change your shirt, and Bingo was his name..."

Ed's perpetually a slave to his younger sister's whims and whines.

Ed may have to baby-sit his sister, or let her watch whatever she wants on TV, or let her dress him up in mom's clothes.

Ed breaks out in Rashes. He's allergic to practically everything, especially Guinea Pigs.

Ed's Mom xerox's his sketches and doodles for her therapist.

Ed's Dad hopes to pass on to his son, his knowledge on "pre-owned" auto sales.

Very cute bit wasting the space at the top of the page. Danny seems very invested in Ed's personality already. The old sources we used to have definitely tried to condense these down to simpler blurbs.

Weird how Danny wants to essentially diagnose Ed with ADHD here (phrasing it very poorly, but it was the 90s and... Canada?). I don't know enough on the subject to debate it, but I still gotta point out Ed's canonical cracked skull!

Interested in the comment about Ed being most allergic to Guinea Pigs. I don't think that animal was ever even mentioned in the show. Eddy mentioned an old gerbil once....

Neat to finally have the real phrasing of the official word on Ed's parents! I saw someone comment earlier that this seems to be hinting Ed's Dad is selling stolen cars. I've never thought to question the legality of his apparent second-hand-car dealership (I imagined he works with Eddy's dad, who has received a legitimate award for his salesmanship), but those quotation marks are certainly making Mr. Ed's practices questionable! Best case scenario, Danny meant that more like italics or something, but maybe Ed's dad IS up to no good...

PAGES 4 & 5 (Ed's turn sheet and expression sheet)

PAGE 6:

Ed, Edd n Eddy (image of Edd in right corner)

Character Description

Edd

is really smart.

is really quiet.

Edd is unnaturally-- polite.

Edd hasn't been allowed to take gym ever since the Dodge ball incident. He's been excused to free study time in the library.

Edd doesn't like it when people touch his things.

EDD: "You may enter in my room, but don't touch my Lego robot. Thank you."

Edd's learning to play Peddle steel guitar. (his Mom makes him)

Edd's prone to "crushes". Girls in School, in his neighborhood, TV, anatomy books. He mails "true loves" his socks.

Edd is always ready for action, even though he can calculate the implications.

Edd constantly mumbles.

No one ever sees Edd's parents. They both work nights. They communicate to their son solely through Post-it notes. Edd's not allowed to touch anything in the house while they're gone. Anything.

Interesting how Danny slightly differentiates the barely-used space at the top here from Ed's description, to characterize Edd as more quiet and mumbly, adding an awkward "--" mid-sentence, perhaps to create the impression that Edd halts to choose words carefully.

Everything on this page feels familiar, from the character guides and other old sources. The most interesting thing to me here is that Edd's Mom forcing him to practice Pedal Steel Guitar is established this early, don't think I knew that, but I had noticed that it existed in his room from ep 1.

I love how the explanation in the beginning for why Edd goes along with their dumb schemes even though he's smart is basically just "he's always ready for action." ?!? I guess in a way???

That weirdly phrased Edd quote amuses me because it references Lego, just like the original concept background for his room before somebody nixed the copyright-namedrop.

Edd's prone to crushes thing has been reaffirmed over and over in character bios even though it really doesn't come up outside of the cupid magic in HPH and the pilot-episode heart eyes at Sarah that are barely canon. Still, I've always loved the truly disturbing statement that he mails "his true loves his socks" and how that managed to make it into canon with a comic book example, a cel animation example and a digital era example.

PAGES 7 & 8 (Edd's turn sheet and expression sheet)

PAGE 9:

Ed, Edd n Eddy (image of Eddy in right corner)

Character Description

Eddy

Exhibitionist.

Megalomaniac. (quote from his report card)

Eddy is the unofficial leader of the trio.

He's always got a plan, a stunt or a weird noise.

Eddy's the "class clown". He loves showing off. He loves being the centre of attention-- no matter how stupid the reason is.

Eddy is the only kid in his grade to have been expelled for aw hole week from school. It was his turn to set up the video for science class. He switched "Our Friend Yeast", for a video he "borrowed" from his parent's room.

Before Eddy's brother went....away, he enlightened Eddy with the "legends" of the neighbourhood. Eddy knows where all the abandoned tree houses are, which sewer pipers are safe to spelunk, and the secret recipe for the "El Mongo Stink Bomb" (it's been in the family for years).

He is the one who is most able to pretend that he knows it all... and doesn't care what anyone else thinks about him.

His genes are working the fastest.

Eddy's Dad is constantly concerned that Eddy may grow up to be a ...figure skater.

Eddy's Mom never believes his little darling was involved in such a heinous act.

Funny choice that Eddy's wasted-top-space is just two one-word descriptions, and allegedly lazily swiped from his negative report card.

Wow, we knew the report card quote and the "Our Friend Yeast" story from the UK show guide, but now we also know Ed's page says that Ed draws in class, and now I realize that Ed and Eddy have series bible school blurbs to match Edd's classic dodgeball incident blurb. Anyway, it's great that Eddy's showed his entire school some sort of sex video his parents have.

Very interested that the phrasing for the Bro/El Mongo Stink Bomb blurb even seems to suggest it's a family recipe. Eddy's Dad did have prankster stuff in his closet in JJJ... did Bro learn his prankster ways from Dad?? The neighborhood's secret tree houses have come up in other descriptions (at best, I'd say this could be related to that creepy shack the Eds found in the woods), but I think it's new info that Eddy personally learned the sewer routes from Bro. Interesting...

Thankfully, I had already heard about the Bible's awkward reference to Eddy being the most pubescent as "his genes are working the fastest," lmao.

Once again the Double D in me comes out to point out that the description of Eddy's Mom seems to switch to the Dad's pronouns.

PAGES 10 & 11 (Eddy's turn sheet and expression sheet)

PAGES 12-14 (Sarah, Jimmy, Rolf, Jonny, Nazz, and Kevin lineup of all 6, then 2 zoomed in lineups of the first 3 kids and last 3 kids)

(Funfact: the kids' designs were allegedly freelanced to an outside studio, hence why their refined later-season designs are so different from these lizardy starting places, lmao)

PAGE 15: (images of Sarah and Jimmy next to their blurbs)

SARAH

Ed's baby Sister.

It's her way or the Highway.

She has everything done for her, if NOT she'll "make" them do it.

She can be quick to judge.

Whinney.

A tatrum for every occasion.

More than a handful for Ed...or Edd and Eddy.

Thinks Edd is kinda cute.

Wants Eddy to MOVE...to another planet.

JIMMY

Sarah's best friend

He is always playing with girls, boys are just too tough.

He is accident prone, when ever we see him he has a different affliction, ie: band-aids, patches, casts, lumps...etc.

He is very clean.

The Ed's frighten him, "They're such brutes".

I'm surprised how much of the UK guide was accurate to what was really in the bible for them! Also surprised Danny misspelled "whiney" and "tantrum," one right after the other. Is this how Sarah spells them? ...Sorry, Danny, I yam what I yam.

PAGE 16: (images of Rolf and Jonny next to their blurbs)

ROLF

First generation of a landed immigrant family.

Nationality not important.

He's proud of his heritage.

He has peculiar traditions and/or customs.

He eats "weird" things.

He has hair on his back..... "yuck".

He confuses the Ed's to no end.

He confuses the other kids to no end.

JONNY 2x4

He is a wanderer and very inquisitive

From early morning to supper time, he is always outside playing, with his buddy, "Plank".

"Plank" is a wooden board that Jonny drew a face on with a crayon.

Jonny has wonderful conversations with Plank. ...Plank is a piece of wood.

Jonny makes himself very "accessible" to the Ed's.

Found it interesting that Rolf's bio is less clearly phrased than the UK bio set it up to be-- there they made it sound more like he mixes up who the Eds/kids are, here it's unclear whether it means that or (more likely) just means the obvious statement that everyone finds him confusing. If it's that, what a lame hollow bio Rolf got. This kid's based on you Danny, show some of that personal side!

Always loved Jonny's description, his life sounds so cute. Playing outside literally all day. Interesting to have it confirmed that Jonny drew Plank's face, I preferred to think the Eds drew him and sold him to Jonny, but whatever.

"Accessible" has always been an important vague description of Jonny to me. It really only applies to how chummy they could be with him in season 1, but it still sorta applies to his personality throughout the series as well.

PAGE 17: (images of Nazz and Kevin next to their blurbs)

NAZZ

She's cool, calm and assertive.

She is the most matured of the kids, or so she thinks.

She's into make-up and fashion magazines and Boys.

Sarah thinks she's awesome, wants to be just like her when she grows up.

When she enters a scene, all activity stops... boys freeze, they sweat, their hearts beat faster and faster. They lose their ability to talk. When she leaves, they recover and conclude it was something They ate.

She thinks the Ed's are funny.

KEVIN

He is cynical and sarcastic.

He thinks he knows the "routine". That's because he watches "60 Minutes".

It got a big laugh out of me that Kevin's description is only 2 sentences long. Nazz even has a more detailed character description from inception than Kevin. Love this for them.

Who's the Eds' rival? Well, he's cynical, sarcastic and he watches 60 Minutes, doesn't that tell you enough!?

I love the "mature... or so she thinks" remark about Nazz, a grounded flaw for her to have, being a little overcommitted to being mature like Eddy. It also perhaps suggests naiveté that makes it a little more reasonable that they didn't notice they were dumbing her down at the end of the series, but I do think the movie version of her better reflects the Bible's concept.

PAGE 18:

The Other Neighborhood Kids

Lineup of May, Lee and Marie.

The Kanker Sisters

These gals are tough. They bother, bully, provoke and bewilder everyone.

They live in a motor home park on the other side of the Cul-de-sac. The other kids have never been there.

They are proud of their Tammy Faye Baker memorabilia.

Their project "Cooking with Ketchup" closed down their school for a whole week.

No one likes them, especially the Eds.

They are determined to marry the Eds. They want them to do their dishes.

Amused that the Kankers are essentially being labeled backgrounds characters here, the role they mostly fell into in season 5. "Other" neighborhood kids...

I love that the Kankers have a school blurb to match each of the Eds', and that theirs has similar destructive-intentions to Eddy's video premiere story.

I believe all of this was all known from the UK guide as well, but still, neat stuff!

PAGES 19 & 20 (zoomed in Kanker lineup and their height chart with the Eds)

PAGES 21 & 22 (early promo art that used to be on CN's old Eds webpage, the art of the Eds eating jawbreakers at the end of ep 1 with the overhead text "Ed, Edd n Eddy love JAWBREAKERS!!!", and the art of the Eds all running with overhead text "Ed, Edd n Eddy see something shiny...."Jiggers." That weird "jiggers" statement at the end was normally edited out and I don't know what it means. Looked it up and it seems to be Chinook jargon (like when Ed said he was "skookum at X's and O's") usually said in the same sense as "CHEESE IT!")

PAGES 23+:

The rest of the pages in that bible download are from a 2004 storyboard test. The storyboard sample "It's Raining Eds," which we've seen some submitted samples of before, interpretations with Ed attempting to fly or chew gum and Edd making radioactive gum, I was surprised to find out the outline is just the original outline for the opening sequence to season 3's 'For Your Eds Only', seemingly Jonny was not written into the original outline (or was excised for easier testing purposes) but Kevin's brief cameo was. Now I wonder if they knew this would be used for a test when they wrote it, and if they would've come up with a less random way to include him if weren't forced to be a concise bit for testing's sake. (Your limit is typically 40 storyboard pages in my experience.)

I also noticed that in the included background references, the anonymous adult neighbor house next door to Ed's is officially just referred to as a "generic house."

My analysis ends here, but be sure to download that sometime and enjoy all the raw storyboard sketches at the end of the document!

[ayellowcurtain]

could you write something about sander maybe not taking his medication for a couple days and then ending up manic and anxious one night and then him needing to ask robbe for help with making sure he takes his medication everyday

Can you do a sobbe fic where Robbe is ace and because of this he’s hesitant with entering a relationship because he knows that most guys are only in it for the sex

Robbe knew this was going to happen. He held back for as long as possible, but he couldn’t anymore and he wanted to tell Sander so badly. Robbe never felt the need to tell anyone except for him, Sander. He wanted to see his reaction and to know what Sander had to say. He’s so interesting, Robbe could hear him talk for days, about any subject.

And he didn’t react badly, he seemed surprised, but not bothered and for that whole afternoon, Robbe let himself dream that maybe they could work. But then Sander was gone for a day, two, and for over a week Robbe didn’t hear from him. He tried texting, calling, he even went to Sander’s college, but he couldn’t find him.

He settled after desperately searching, thinking he was going too far, invading Sander’s privacy. He needed to accept that it wasn’t ok for Sander that he was ace. Robbe didn’t want to be forced to do anything he didn’t want to do and so Sander had every right too if he wasn’t ok with Robbe being ace.

Finally it was Friday and Robbe had let himself rush home, planning on spending his whole day crying his eyes out, wishing he wasn’t like this or that he was accepted by the guy he was falling in love with. His mom wasn’t home and so Robbe dropped his bag on the floor with his sneakers, planning on dealing with that later. He pulled every layer of clothes all at once over his head and when he was about to take his pants off and hide underneath the covers, his phone started ringing.

He thought about ignoring it, but his eyes had already read who was calling and he couldn’t. Sander’s name and photo were there, looking at him, like it was him, begging Robbe to pick up and he couldn’t say no to Sander.

“Hello?” Robbe sounded broken and he wish he didn’t, but then a different voice came from the other side.

“Robbe? Hm, I’m sorry, I don’t know if I’m calling the right number. My name is Liv, I’m Sander’s mom. He’s...he’s been struggling these past few days. He won’t stop drawing and I tried asking who was the boy, but he’s not really talking right now, but I saw your name on some of his drawings and then I found your number. I don’t know what else to do, I can’t reach him.”

“What happened?” Robbe stops in the middle of his bedroom, not knowing what to do, but Liv sounds desperate.

“Can you come here? I think it would be really nice if he saw you, maybe it can help. I’m so sorry, this is still very new to all of us, I’m just trying anything to see what works.” She sounds like his mom, so worried and probably silently crying, desperate.

“Yeah, yeah. But...I don’t have the adress...” Robbe covers his face with his hand, so ashamed, but not even knowing why. She’s asking him to go there, but it still feels weird. Maybe Sander doesn’t want him there and everything will be just weird and painful.

-

Robbe never met anyone’s parents before, not like this at least, someone that he had something with for a month or two.

“Do you want something to drink? Have you eaten anything?” Liv walks with him inside the big kitchen, with probably the latest home appliances, marble as counters. It’s as fancy as it can get, but it feels messy. The island is filled with bag with groceries, the trash can is overflowing, Liv has been crying, clearly, but Robbe doesn’t comment on anything, shakes his head and she smiles sadly at him.

“Thank you for coming, Robbe. Is your name Robbe? I’m sorry, I didn’t even ask...”

“Hm, no, Robin, but everyone calls me Robbe, it’s okay.” She smiles a little more honestly this time and Robbe tries to smile back. He’s anxious, wants to see with his own eyes what’s going on with Sander.

“Thank you for coming then, Robbe. Sander is still locked inside his bedroom. He tends to...close himself off when this episodes happen. He can get more impatient so we just tend to let him be. And come to us if he needs anything, but it’s been days and whenever he’s awake, he’s drawing...you.”

Robbe blushes, looking down, hiding how he close his hands inside his pockets.

“Sander is an amazing artist.” She tries to make this more comfortable again and Robbe smiles. Sander really is amazing. “Anyway, come.” The way she says it reminds him so much of Sander. Robbe follows her down the hall, both walls filled with pictures of them. Liv, Sander and his dad, probably.

Robbe never saw him with his natural hair, light brown, Robbe tries to save that information. Sander was always the most good looking ever, Robbe is sure of it now.

Liv knocks gently on the first door on their left.

“Sander?” No response, but she opens the door slowly anyway. “There’s someone here that wants to see you.”

Robbe doesn’t see, but he hears a noise that sounds like blankets being moved. Liv moves to the side and leaves enough space and Robbe obeys, slowly stopping at the door, finally seeing Sander.

Red eyes, messy platinum hair with dark roots sticking out of the dark grey hoodie Sander is wearing. He looks tired and so fragile.

“I’m gonna leave you two alone...” He hears Liv behind him and he has to walk inside so he can close the door behind him.

Sander doesn’t believe Robbe is there, he’s frowning a little and with a hint of spark in his eyes, but it fades away when he blinks, putting the blanket over his shoulders and lying back down.

“You shouldn’t be here.” Sander says painfully and Robbe comes closer, carefully sitting on the bed in the small circle around Sander’s torso, kissing Sander’s arm and looking up, resting his chin against his shoulder.

“Why not? I care about you.” Sander closes his eyes and takes a sharp breath in. Robbe sits up, afraid that he got too close, too fast.

“I didn’t want you to see me like this. I’m not good enough for you.”

“What? Don’t say that.”

“I’m really not. I’m so fucking dumb. I didn’t know what to do and so I just decided to stay away. Not because of you, because I’m so not worthy of you, Robbe. The way you care about others, about your mom, how soft and calm you are, and smart and gentle. I’m not like that. And I don’t know if I can be. I’m like a car going faster than the limit with no breaks.”

Robbe frowns, completely lost now. Sander didn’t even mention what they talked the last time they saw each other. And Robbe has no idea where all this is coming from.

Sander finally moves and Robbe gives him enough space to sit on his bed, looking down to avoid meeting Robbe’s eyes. There’s a sketchbook on his nightstand, a bunch of pages ripped and shoved back inside carelessly. Robbe wants to see, for Sander to explain to him all his drawings.

“Can you help me?” Sander finally looks up to meet Robbe’s eyes, he fix his postures and raises his eyebrows and starts talking, like he’s quickly trying to explain explain “I keep thinking I don’t need my medication when I’m feeling good. And I feel good when I’m with you, so I keep forgetting that this...this won’t go away. I need to take better care of myself.”

Robbe doesn’t know what he’s promising, but he can’t risk lose Sander and so he’s willing to try. “I can help you, if you want. Can even make a notebook to write the times you need to take what...”

Robbe sees when Sander bites the inside of his cheek, his mouth trying to contain a smile.

-

Robbe picks a hardcover black notebook that can easily fit inside any bag he owns. He picks cute, colorful pens and some fun tapes with space themes, starts, lightnings, the moon, the sun, planets, etc. Sander will tease him forever about it, but Robbe can’t wait. He only needs a few lines to write the times and what medication Sander should take, when he has therapy or his medical appointments and so he’s always facing half of a completely blank page.

When Sander is asleep or busy with his appointments, Robbe sits there, taking the empty pages as a challenge.

This isn’t about you. It’s to help him. Don’t make this about yourself.

Robbe taps with his pen for a while, thinking. He decides to start with Sander constant need to create. The words come out easily, Robbe could talk about how amazing Sander is at creating anything. From drawings to stories, stopping in some stupid music lyrics he invents every once in a while.

[bakubabes-tatakae]

The Demon’s Keeper (Part Three)

Author’s Note: If anyone wants to be added to the taglist for this feel free to let me know ! Happy to add anyone !

(Rin Okumura x Reader)

Summary: Rin Okumura is a hot headed demon who is hard to keep under control, only one person seems to be able to do it better than anyone, Y/N. For that, she’ll be known at the Demon’s Keeper, but what exactly does that entail for them?

AO3 Link

Part One, Part Two: *NSFW Ahead!*

Part Three:

Rin rolled over and wrapped his arm around my waist the next morning. He raised his head to look at the alarm clock to see the time and noticed there was a piece of paper sitting on it. He slowly stood up and my attempts to pull him back into bed were to no avail. He grabbed the paper and started reading it. He walked over to the window with it “Man that’s cold.”

My attention peaked with that so I sat up to look at him. “What cold?”

He lifted the bottom of his shirt, scratching his stomach, the small happy trail he had peeking out. “Yukio left, he couldn’t even wake us up and say goodbye in person.” Rin turned to stare back out the window when he stepped back a little. I stood up from the bed and walked over, noticing myself as well. There were small black things flying through the air, they looked like little black blobs with eyes and tails. “What’s that?”

I buried my face in Rin’s back. “I’ve never seen anything like that before.” Rin grabbed his sweatshirt and jeans, throwing them on while I did the same. We ran down the stairs of the monastery and out the door, spinning around. 

Rin couldn’t believe his eyes. “What the hell are these bugs?” They were everywhere, but when people were walking around in front of the monastery they didn’t even seem to notice them. 

“Why is no one else reacting to them Rin?” We both walked to the edge of the property and watched. “I don’t understand why no one else is seeing them.”

As we watched the small bug like creatures we heard a voice coming from down the sidewalk. “Okumura, my friend.” As we both looked over we noticed who it was. The kid that was shooting birds a couple days earlier was coming straight for us. “Do you have a second?”

Rin stared at him, growling some, not sure what he should do. They taunted him, his lackeys speaking next. “What’s the matter Okumura? You turn chicken on us? Don’t tell me you want to run away and hide behind your daddy. Or is your girlfriend going to save your ass this time?”

I tried to step forward and give them all a piece of my mind, but as I got in front of Rin he grabbed my arm and pulled me back to him, wrapping his arm around my neck and growling at them more. “Let’s go.”

The group of guys started walking, looking for a deserted place for us to talk. As we followed I spoke to Rin quietly. “You shouldn’t be doing this Rin. What’s Shiro going to say? You’re supposed to be grounded, remember?”

“I’m not worried about the old man. This needs to be done.” He was growing angrier by the second, something I knew was never good when it came to Rin, but now that I learned more about him, I was afraid of what could happen.

When we all entered the alleyway the leader spoke to us. “Sorry about the other day, my hand just slipped, you know? Anyway, I wanna know how much you want.”

We were both puzzled now. “What?” Rin kept one hand behind me on my belt loop and the other in his pocket of his jeans. 

“My parents are somewhat famous you see. And as for me, I’m about to enroll in True Cross Academy. So I don’t want any unsavory rumors about me floating around.”

“You mean you’re going to the same prestigious school as Yukio? I see your problem.”

The boy laughed. “Now you got it. Consider it hush money, I’m buying your silence. You just have to keep this episode between you and me, and that girl too.”

Rin’s grip on my belt loop tightened. If anyone was protective of the people he cared about it was Rin Okumura. “Hah, you threw me for a curve there. Keep your money, I won’t tell.” He took his hand out of his pocket and grabbed another one of my belt loops with it, turning me around. “We’ve got a lot of things to do.” He pushed me forward, our queue to leave. 

The boy was getting enraged. He laughed in annoyance. “Just take the money. Everyone knows you’re so damn poor that you can’t even get into school without help.” Rin stopped walking and turned around. The boy was standing with a bill in his hand. “Take the money. That brother of yours, Yukio is his name? The only way he got into that school was by cramming like hell and getting a scholarship. Isn’t that right? I feel for you. Use this to help pay his tui-”

Before I could grab Rin to stop him he was running at the boy, cutting off his sentence with a punch to the jaw. As the boy hit the ground Rin spoke through his teeth. “Scumbag, you can say what you want about me, but never diss my family.”

The boy turned back at us, hollering. “Man that hurt. I wouldn’t try my luck if I were you!” When he turned back to us he had sharp fangs and his face had changed some. The black bugs that were flying around started to circle him. Horns started to sprout from his head and like in some horror movie his nails started to change into claws. 

Rin grabbed onto me and pushed me behind him. “I don’t know what’s happening, but stay behind me.” He stood more at attention and watched the boy, waiting for his next move. “If I tell you to run, you run.”

One of the boys with him ran behind Rin and grabbed onto me, the other two grabbing onto Rin and slamming him onto the ground, face first. I fought and fought against the boy, but he was so much bigger than me. Rin struggled under them. “RIN!” 

Rin struggled more. “Get your hands off her!” He tried to lift his arms to fight back. “If you hurt her so help me god. It’ll be the last thing that you do.

The boy grabbed a metal rod from a barrel that was on fire. The rod was red as he stepped toward Rin. “An eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth. I’m going to give you back twice the pain you caused me.”

I fought more. “Leave him alone!”

One of the guys with him seemed a little unsure about what he was about to do. “Woah, come on. You don’t really want to-”

Before he could continue speaking the young boy kicked him in the face, sending him flying backwards. “Shut up!” He knelt down and grabbed Rin by the hair, lifting his head. “Now where would you like me to burn you?”

I tried to bite the person holding me. “Stop it!” I could hear the panic in my own voice. “Rin! What do I do?”

“Your nose, your mouth, or perhaps your eyes.” He lifted his head and turned it so he could look at me. “And once I’m done with you I’m going to make you watch as I do the same to your little girlfriend.” The boy wasn’t human, I couldn’t believe what I was seeing or hearing. “A human barbeque!” He laughed manically. 

Rin started screaming. “GET AWAY!” The flames that surrounded the metal rod turned blue, just like the furnace had in the monastery. They grew so large that they blew all of the men around him away. Rin slowly stood up and walked toward the boy holding onto me. The boy shoved me forward as hard as he could and I stopped myself from falling. When I looked back up at Rin he was surrounded by blue flames. All of the boys ran off except for that one that had been taunting us. 

The young boy’s voice changed, it was almost demonic now. “Those blue flames are proof you are the true son of Satan.” Rin looked over quickly at him. He stepped toward me, but I pulled away some. Rin remembered the flames surrounding him and turned his body to completely cover me. “I was right.” The boy walked in front of Rin. “My name is Astaroth.” He reached his hand out. “Come with me, my young prince. Lord Satan has long awaited you.”

Rin wasn’t moving anymore. He just looked scared. “Satan has?”

A voice from behind us caught our attention. “Evil is in their hearts.” We both turned to see Shiro walking down the alleyway. I had never ever been happier to see him. “Oh lord, give to them according to their works and wickedness of their inventions. According to the works of their hands render unto them their reward.” Was Shiro going to exorcise this kid? “Thou shalt destroy them, thou shalt not build them up.”

The young boy grew agitated. “Curse those words! Damn you exorcist!”

Shiro smiled at him. “Blessed be the lord.” 

“I’ll rip that mouth of yours apart, so you can never mutter such filth again!” The boy turned his attention from him to Shiro and started running for him. 

Shiro didn’t even falter. “He hath heard my supplication.” The young man reached him and swung for him, Shiro dodged no problem. “The lord is my helper.” Shiro grabbed his arm and flipped the boy onto the ground on his back. “And my protector. Thou shalt perish.” The young boy started screaming and black smoke came pouring out of his mouth. The boy became unconscious and Shiro dropped him, looking at Rin and I. “Are you two alright?”

Rin’s flames subsided and I crawled over to him. Rin reached out a hand and helped me stand up. “Forget us, is that guy going to be alright?” He pointed toward the boy on the ground. 

“I exorcised the demon that had possessed him. He’ll come to in a moment.”

“Demon?”

“You guys can see them now, too. Can’t you?”

Rin looked around at the bugs and then back at Shiro. “All of these?”

“They’re called Coal Tars. They’re attracted to damp places and introverted humans.” Shiro looked at both of us with concerned eyes. “This world is made up of two dimensions joined as one, like a mirror. One is the material world that we live in, it’s called Assiah. The other is Gahenna, an empty realm inhabited by demons. Normally there can not be any contact between these two diverse dimensions, nevermind any travel between them, but having possessed all material substances in this world, demons are now intruding upon it.” 

Rin moved closer to me and grabbed my hand, he could tell how high my anxiety was in the moment. “What’s all that mean?”

“Thanks to this uproar they’ve learned of your awakening. Demons of all species will come after you for all sorts of reasons.” Shiro looked over at me. “Y/N, do you remember what we talked about the other day.” I nodded at him. “You must hide before that comes to pass.”

“Hold on,” Rin was so confused he was getting angry. “What are you saying? What demons? And what the hell do you mean by awakening?” He started yelling. “Just what the hell am I anyway?”

“You are not a human being Rin,” Rin grabbed my hand tighter, hurting it. “You are the son of a demon, born by a human.” Shiro grabbed both of our arms and started walking. “And now just any demon. The demon of all demons. You are… the offspring of Satan.”

Rin stopped walking and stared with his eyes wide at Shiro. Shiro let go of our arms and turned again. Rin didn’t move. I walked behind him and put my hands on his waist, pushing him forward, trying to get him to snap out of it. “We don’t have time for this Rin, we have to get moving.” He slowly started to walk. “We have to get out of here, snap out of it!”

Taglist 💕 @thebookwormfairy @psycho-emily​

Part Four, Part Five, Part Six

Updated: 5/12/2020

[beckzorz]

Old Habits

Pairing: Bucky Barnes/Reader Words: 7445 Warnings: 18+, NSFW, smut, swearing Summary: Training with the Avengers isn’t supposed to be like the Red Room, but for you and Bucky, the past is hard to shake. A/N: So you might recognize the beginning section from a drabble I posted back in February. Some folks asked for a continuation, so here it is. Hope it lives up to expectations :3 Let me know what you think!

“Again.”

“No. Again.”

“Again.”

You yank off a sweaty glove and hurl it at Bucky, panting. Enough is enough. “No! Not again! It’s been hours—”

Before you can finish, Bucky rushes you, his face transformed from its usual impassive façade to a violent snarl. You leap out of the way, sweeping a leg behind you to trip him up.

He’s too quick.

Bucky grabs your ankle and yanks hard, aborting your roll and nearly pulling your leg out of its socket. You twist onto your back as he clamps a hand on your waist, hard fingers digging into your side. You’ve still got two hands free, and a leg besides, but this is the Winter Soldier after all. In seconds you’re pinned to the floor. Bucky’s elbow digs into your throat until you see stars.

Only then does he pull away.

By the time your vision clears, his face is back to its customary blankness. The only hint of his moments-ago ferocity is the tic in his jaw.

“Again,” he orders.

You push yourself up on your elbows and glare up at him. Every muscle burns, and you can feel a bruise forming on your throat already. You don’t move.

“No.”

His jaw clenches. He takes one step closer until he’s nearly straddling you, so tall he might as well be a mountain.

“You need to keep going,” he says.

“I’m done.”

You sit the rest of the way up and peel off your other glove. You try and look nonchalant, but you’re on full alert. Would he attack you like this? You can’t be sure.

He doesn’t attack you. He just drops to his knees and grabs hold of your chin, jerking your head up until you meet his eye.

“That wasn’t good enough!” he shouts.

“Don’t yell at me like I’m a child,” you retort. You will not let him drive you to shouting back. You press your shoe hard against his groin, pushing him back. “Just because you did when I was doesn’t mean you can do it now.”

Bucky’s dark look washes away with sudden shock. His blue eyes go comically wide.

“Oh,” he says. “Oh.”

He scuttles backwards, his pinched expression so full of regret that you lean forward to stare.

“What?” you say.

Bucky runs his hands over his face, pushing his loose hair back. It falls right back into place.

“Old habits die hard,” he says, not meeting your gaze. “Got caught up in—I’m sorry.”

“You should be.” You stand with a wince; the hours of grueling training have taken their toll. You stretch your arms over your head and bend to press your hands to the ground. You straighten again. “No one here will kill me if you don’t push me past the point of reason. This isn’t—“

“I know,” Bucky interrupts. “I know.” A brief smile flickers on his face. “This isn’t there. No children. No handcuffing to the bed, either.”

“Speak for yourself,” you say with a snort.

Bucky’s eyes light on yours with sudden, piercing interest. “Oh?” he drawls.

You freeze, caught in his intense gaze. A blush rises to your face. Bucky’s eyes are darker than before—damn it, this isn’t supposed to be the Red Room, but here you are sneaking glances at the soldier, wondering what it would be like to have him cuffed to your bed.

What would it be like to have the power over him for once?

You swallow.

“Mind out of the gutter, Barnes,” you say, as lightly as you can.

Bucky smiles wistfully up at you. “If you insist.”

You force your eyes away from curve of his mouth and gather up your gloves. It’s wrong, to think of your old teacher like this… but how can you resist?

Even after he’s literally driven the air from your lungs, you’re drawn to him like a moth to a flame.

Still, no call for him to know it. After everything you’ve been through, you know how to deny yourself anything.

Even something as dazzling as Bucky Barnes.

“I do.”

—

You tilt your head back and study yourself in your bathroom mirror. Concealer is a wonderful invention. The blooming bruise on your throat is totally hidden. Nothing out of the ordinary, just the smooth skin of your neck.

You press your hand against your right side. The finger-shaped bruises there are hidden by your shirt.

But they still hurt to the touch.

It hurts to talk, too. You’re perfectly capable of working through pain, but that sure as hell doesn’t make it fun.

Fortunately, you can get away with minimal talking for the rest of the day. Once you grab lunch and a granola bar for later, you can sequester yourself back in your room and lounge in peace and quiet.

You pass by the main mess and wince; it’s far too crowded for your liking. Instead, you go farther afield to the lounge kitchenette.

Natasha glances over her shoulder as she dumps fruit into the blender.

“Hi, Natasha.” You squeeze past her to raid the pantry.

“How was training?”

You shrug. You stick a wrapped granola bar between your teeth and grab the bread. From the fridge, you snag your sandwich fillings. Natasha wordlessly passes you a plate and knife. You hum in thanks and spread everything out on the table.

“Hm.”

You glance over your shoulder, eyebrows raised. Natasha’s looking at you with a furrow in her brow.

“What?” you ask.

“Oh, nothing.”

You shrug and turn back, popping the bread clip off. Natasha sets her smoothie down beside you and steps out of your line of sight.

A hand clamps around your throat.

Red floods your vision.

In a heartbeat, you’ve flipped Natasha over your shoulder, sending her crashing onto the table. The bread lands with a muffled thump somewhere behind you. Natasha blinks up at you as you collapse into the closest chair, clutching your neck gingerly.

She’s not even winded. You scowl.

“Dammit, Nat, what the hell?” you rasp.

“What happened?” she asks, sitting up.

You look away, heat rising to your face. Will Natasha be as scolding as Bucky has been?

“Bucky had me training for hours,” you whisper. Anything louder hurts. “I told him I’d had enough—”

“Let me guess,” she says drily. “He rushed you.”

You shrink in your chair and nod. “I guess he forgot we weren’t, you know. There.”

“Yeah, he gets that way sometimes. Not saying I don’t, but…” Natasha shrugs and swings her legs back and forth. “He’s more intense than the rest of us put together. Except for Tony when he’s in one of his manic episodes.”

A smile flits across your face. No lie there.

“I’ll have a word with him,” Natasha says.

“Oh, please don’t,” you blurt. You wince and try not to massage your throat—that would only make things worse. Quietly, you add, “He knows he got caught up, and then he’d know we were talking about it, and I just don’t want to have to deal with that next time.”

Natasha raises an eyebrow. “Next time? Why don’t you just train with someone else?”

You open your mouth, then close it. Natasha takes a long sip of her smoothie.

Why don’t you train with someone else? No one else, not even Natasha, goes to Bucky’s lengths. And there are other large men who can pose a reasonable threat. Steve, maybe? No, he gets too defensive about Bucky. Sam might do.

Whomever you pick, a change in partners might be just the thing to clear Bucky from your mind. You’d told him to get his mind out of the gutter, but there are moments where you can barely keep your head in the game. Bucky and his tight workout gear—not to mention that sinful mouth—draw you in no matter how much you tell yourself no. A little distance will do a world of good.

Bucky’s a teammate. He’s your old teacher, your old tormentor, your fellow sufferer. He’s one of the few people alive who could truly relate to your past. But in his eyes, you’re just the kid who still needs breaking in.

That settles it. You can’t keep sighing over a man who only wants to lecture you. No matter how much he makes you weak, Bucky Barnes isn’t for you.

“Thank you,” you say at last. “That is the reasonable thing to do.”

Natasha smirks. “Of course it is,” she murmurs. She stands and raps her knuckles on the table. “Later.”

—

A week later, you’re in the ring with Sam, sweat trickling down your face. Sam has a hard punch, and even without wings he’s tough to hit.

In the ring, anyway. If you weren’t playing by arbitrary rules, you’d’ve flattened him a half-dozen times already.

Oh well. It’s good practice.

Sam aims a few more hits in your direction before stepping back with a fresh smile.

“Sup, Barnes?” he says.

You look over your shoulder, gloves still up. Bucky’s leaning against the ropes, his eyes flicking between you and Sam. His sweats ride low on his hips below his fitted t-shirt.

You look away.

“You still goin’ at it?” Bucky asks.

You glance at Sam, unsure if Bucky’s talking to him or you.

“We can wrap it up if you need the ring,” Sam says. You give Sam a panicked look, and he blinks. “Well, five more minutes?”

“Uh, sure.”

You watch surreptitiously as Bucky wanders off, peeking over his shoulder at you with a frown. His hands are stuffed in his pockets, his shirt pulled tight across his shoulders and back.

“Wonder who he’s sparring with,” Sam muses.

You shake yourself out of it. Enough of Bucky. “C’mon,” you urge Sam. “One more round.”

Sam puts up his gloves with an indulgent grin.

You barrel towards him, eyes on the prize. The rush of adrenaline sends all thoughts of Bucky to the wind.

Sam’s defeat comes swift. A surge of power runs through you as you hold him down an extra second with a foot on his knee, but at his urging you help him to his feet with a grunt.

“You’ve got moves, girl,” Sam says, grinning good-naturedly. “Thanks for going easy on me.”

You giggle. “Sure thing, Sam.”

Your smile holds as you amble to the locker room, gloves swinging from your hand. When you turn the corner to your row, you freeze.

Bucky is sitting hunched over on the bench in front of your locker, elbows on his knees and one hand in his tousled hair. The soft lighting in the corner engulfs him in a gentle halo. He looks like a goddamn angel, sweats and all.

No, no.

You grit your teeth. Whatever he looks like, he’s a man who can’t control himself who’s hell-bent on controlling you.

You step back, but your sneaker squeaks on the tiles. Bucky’s head snaps in your direction. For a moment, his face is soft, with wide eyes and barely parted lips and a hint of a blush in his cheeks. Of course, his expression hardens as he pops to his feet.

“Why are you avoiding me?” he demands.

“Uh—”

Bucky steps towards you; you step back instinctively, dropping your gloves and settling into a fighting stance as your heart hammers in your chest. He stops short.

“Fuck,” he mutters. He collapses back onto the bench and rubs a hand down the back of his neck, chin tucked against his chest. “Forget it.”

You blink. “I’m not avoiding you,” you tell him.

“I said forget it,” he snaps. He jumps up and stalks away, passing so close to you that you can feel the air moving in his wake.

You spin to stare after him. His stiff shoulders fill you with sudden rage.

“Fine!”

You storm past where Bucky had been and open your locker with so much force that it bounces back closed, nearly taking your fingers off in the process. Teeth bared, you grab a change of clothes and slam your locker shut.

You make for the showers. Shirt and leggings off first, then you shimmy out of your sports bra and underwear. The water is a relief, and in here behind the locked door, you can finally relax.

Relax? No, you can’t relax. All you can think of is Bucky.

What the hell is his problem?! Why does he turn into the fucking Winter Soldier every time he talks to you? Why can’t he just deal with you like a normal person? Like Natasha, or Clint, or whoever the hell he wants. It’s not like you’re actually avoiding him.

You aren’t. Well…

You worry the inside of your lip as you run your soapy hands down your arms.

Are you avoiding him?

Sure, you stopped training with him, but it’s not like you run out of the room when he comes in. You’re just keeping a healthy distance, the better to contain him—and yourself. It’s better you’ve switched to working with Sam. Better for everyone. Clearly, your presence alone triggers Bucky. The man can’t even ask you a simple question without putting you on the defensive. And there’s no point in hovering by him, panting after him like a lovestruck child. You’ve done that before, back… back before. It never got you anywhere, except stuck in a chokehold from losing focus.

You run your fingernails lightly along your neck. The phantom memory of Bucky’s hand on your throat sends a sudden chill through you.

No, not a chill. Just a shudder, one that settles right where you wish it wouldn’t. Your hand dips between your legs, and you lean heavily against the wall as want pools in your belly.

Maybe you have been avoiding Bucky. Under the circumstances, you’re pretty sure it’s for the best.

Thank god you don’t have any missions planned together anytime soon.

—

Two days later, Steve summons you to the conference room.

You sit on the edge of the table across from him and bounce your foot as you wait for him to get started. He pushes a file over to you. You thumb through it.

“Something’s come up in Ukraine,” Steve says. “We need Ukrainian speakers.”

“This looks simple,” you tell him. “I can take this. Don’t drag Natasha into it; she’s almost had a full two weeks on-site.”

Steve raises his eyebrows. “I wasn’t planning on pulling Natasha. She’s earned some rest. I’m sending Bucky with you.”

“What?!” Your stomach drops. “Steve, I—”

“I don’t know what happened between you two,” he says, standing slowly. He leans on the table, fixing you with a sharp stare. “But fix it. You leave tomorrow, five a.m. Sharp.”

You sputter as he sweeps out of the room.

Great. Just great. You groan and kick the closest chair over. A mission with Bucky? Alone? How the hell are you supposed to manage? It’s not your fault he gets lost in the past when you’re around. Of course, it’s not his fault you dissolve when he’s around, either.

If only he’d stick to his instincts and let himself be soft around you.

You squeeze your eyes shut and try not to imagine it.

You don’t do a very good job.

—

The flight, at least, is bearable. Mostly because Bucky spends the entire time piloting in the cockpit while you review the file in the cabin. There’s really only a few meters between you, but the cockpit door does an excellent job at letting you forget how close he is.

However distracted you let yourself get on base, this is different. This is a mission, with strategizing and information gathering and subterfuge. You can handle yourself on a mission like this, even with the Winter Soldier.

You’ve done it before; you can do it again.

You glance at the cockpit door, fiddling with the corners of the papers in your lap. You can do this. You can stay professional, keep your cool, not let his inevitable reversion get to you.

There’s no other choice.

Hours pass before the intercom buzzes to life. You stiffen in your seat and clutch the file tight as you wait for Bucky’s voice.

“Fifteen minutes to landing. Pack it up.”

He kills the intercom, and you let out a slow breath. Your knuckles are white; you open your hands with wide eyes. All that for just the sound of his voice?

No. You shake your head hard. No more.

You have to get a handle yourself. There’s no other choice.

—

Phase one goes off without a hitch.

Steve had written up a suggested plan in the mission brief. Pretend to be tourists, scope out suspected hubs of criminal activity, listen closely for any hints. All that sounded great. The fake dating part? Not so much. You know exactly how that would have gone. Fake relationship, all-too-realistic break-up scene. No thanks.

So you changed the plan. Splitting up, you told Bucky, meant you could cover more ground. Hear more conversations.

He didn’t argue at the time—and to be fair, you’d only pulled that out right before your arrival—but now that you’re on the road to the motel, the tension is as thick as cheddar cheese. Bucky’s hands are clenched on the steering wheel of the mid-grade rental car. He’s got gloves on, but they’re pulled tight over his knuckles. The leather creaks against the wheel whenever he shifts.

You only glance occasionally at him; you spend most of the ride typing up notes and staring out the window, parsing the various tidbits you’d gleaned from the last hours of spying.

Neither of you say a word. Fifty-six minutes of silence.

You check into the motel, letting Bucky sit in the car. The old-fashioned key with its numbered keychain jingles as you amble back to the car.

Packing light is a specialty; both of you just have one large backpack each. You grab yours from the trunk and make your way to the room as Bucky locks the car up, clearing any evidence away.

You unlock the door and push it open.

You freeze in the doorway.

There’s only one bed.

Bucky’s footsteps behind you rattle in your skull, and you hurry to dump your bag on the side of the bed closer to the door. It’s cold, despite the heat being set to seventy; you turn it up to seventy-five. You pray Bucky doesn’t notice your hands are shaking.

You rummage through your bag for your pajamas, every hair standing on end as Bucky shuts and triple-locks the door. He goes straight into the bathroom, slamming the door behind him.

You run your hands down your face and struggle to contain a groan.

One bed. One bed. Who the fuck decided this? Is this Steve’s misguided attempt to make you and Bucky get along? Doesn’t he know what the problem is?

The toilet flushes, and you hurry to change into your silk romper. Off with the civvie clothes of the mission, on with your romper. God, why is it so cold?

When Bucky comes out, you glance his way, then automatically look back, heat rising in your cheeks. Bucky’s wearing a loose t-shirt over a pair of boxer briefs, his metal arm gleaming in the dim light. His hair is tucked behind his ears, neat for almost the first time this whole trip. Despite the looseness of his dark shirt, you can still easily make out the shape of his pecs. You don’t dare let your gaze go any lower.

Oops.

Your thighs clench together. Oh god. You’re fucked.

Bucky drops his bag on the floor and pulls out one of his many guns. He settles in the chair by the little round table and glances up at you as he dismantles the pistol for cleaning. His eyes widen briefly as he looks you over. He shifts in his seat, brows drawn low.

“What?” he asks gruffly.

Your cheeks burn. “Nothing!”

You run into the bathroom, desperate for air. It’s barely over fifty degrees and still the air is too thick. You showered this morning, but you’ve still got the urge to scrub yourself clean. Thoughts of Bucky rattle around your head, teasing and torturous. You press the heels of your hands to your eyes. Enough!

You brush your teeth furiously, hard enough to make your gums bleed. You cup water in the palm of your hands and swish it around in your mouth, wincing at the sting. If only washing out your mouth could clear your thoughts as well!

By the time you emerge, you’re certain Bucky’s going to make some comment about girls and bathrooms. But he doesn’t. All he does is turn his head a few inches in your direction, then look resolutely back at his disassembled rifle. The cleaning cloth practically squeaks from his furious rubbing.

God, his hands move fast…

You swallow, a rush of heat flooding your face as you studiously ready your bag for the night—if something happens during the wee hours, you’ll be ready to book it in seconds. All the while, you can’t help sneaking glances at the chair, and at Bucky’s hands. He reassembles his rifle in seconds, then he wipes it down one more time with a gentleness that makes you shiver.

His hands have never been gentle on you, but he sure knows how to use them.

On his guns, at least. Would he be able to use them gently on you, if you told him how? Could he keep them still, if you asked?

Ugh.

You slip under the covers and swear under your breath. The sheets are cold to the touch. You huddle in a fetal position on the edge of the bed, holding yourself tight and facing away from Bucky. You shut off the light on your side, leaving only a weak yellow lamp for Bucky’s work.

Bucky is quiet, perhaps too much so. Is he still cleaning guns? Is he done? Is he just sitting there, waiting for you to fall asleep? You run your hands along your bare legs, trying to infuse some warmth. For all the blushing you’ve been doing, most of your body is still cold.

Best not to think how warm you’d be if Bucky joined you.

You bite your lip to contain a snort. If Bucky joins you, he’s more likely to kick you off the bed than offer any real warmth. His track record even in just the last couple weeks involves nearly strangling you, for heaven’s sake. Not to mention all those times in the Red Room…

A shudder runs through you, more pronounced than your shivering.

“Something wrong?”

You freeze. “No, nothing,” you say quickly. You pull the blankets tighter over your shoulders, your fingers digging into your arms.

“Riiight.” Bucky cracks his knuckles, then his neck. “When exactly are we going to talk?”

Terror passes through you, and your answer comes faster than reason can quash it. “Tomorrow. Good night.”

You pull the blankets clean over your head.

“Fucking hell,” Bucky mutters, almost too quiet for you to hear.

But you do hear it. Tears prick at your eyes, but you don’t answer. What right does he have to complain? He didn’t even try to talk in the car, and once you got here, he just locked himself in the bathroom.

But you’re no better. You should be debriefing with Bucky, planning with Bucky, talking to Bucky… Instead you’re curled up like a fucking baby, teary and angry and eyes squeezed so tightly shut that your eyelids hurt. The thought of talking to him with all those thoughts swirling around in your head is enough to turn your stomach. How can you look him in the face when all you want to do is mark him as yours?

If only Steve could see you now.

Bucky’s moving around again. You stiffen, the better to hear him; he slides a gun under the bed, another in a nearby drawer.

Then he lifts the blanket, exposing your back to the cold, and slides in.

You let out your breath slowly as he settles on his side of the bed. Bucky’s not close enough for you to feel his body heat yet, but from all your training you know he runs warm. In the meantime, you press the blanket down for better insulation. Bucky shifts seconds later, ruining your careful tuck.

What a waste.

Intermittent shivering aside, you lie as still as you can, curled up with your back to Bucky. Deep, shallow breaths do nothing to relieve your tension. Every few seconds, Bucky turns, or shifts, or tosses. You try to keep track of which direction he’s facing without looking at him, but in minutes you can’t imagine. He’s moving too damn much.

All you want to do is sleep, and by sleeping stop thinking about him.

“For fuck’s sake, Bucky, stop twitching!”

Bucky sits up with a huff, the blankets pulled tight over your shoulders yanked down with him. “I haven’t had to share a bed in months, and you think I can just lie still?”

“I’m managing,” you say icily. You tug the blankets back into place, suppressing a shiver. The heat in the motel is awful; you’d set it to seventy-five an hour ago, but the room is barely at sixty. In a better world, you might have shared Bucky’s body heat, but you’re on separate edges of the bed, as much space between you as possible.

“You’re shivering,” Bucky says. “That’s not managing.”

You groan. “My shivering is not your problem.”

“Of course it’s my problem,” he argues. “I don’t know why you’re being such a—” He cuts himself off. “Of course it’s my problem,” he repeats slowly. “We’re teammates. If you get sick…”

Seriously?

Enough is enough.

You sit up, arms crossed tight over your chest, and glare at him.

“First of all? It’s not cold enough to get sick in here. We both know that. From experience. Second, being teammates doesn’t make us friends. We’re here to complete a mission, not babysit each other. We’re adults. And third, you know damn well why I’m being such a bitch.”

Bucky’s eyes widen through your little tirade, but narrow as you finish. He licks his lips, his eyes darting across your face. “Do tell.”

“You’re a fucking control freak!” you snap. “This isn’t there. You don’t get to tell me what to do all the time. You’re not my boss, and you sure as hell aren’t my handler. I’m done letting you dominate me. I’m done roleplaying our past. I’m done! So lie down, be still, and shut the fuck u—”

Bucky’s lips stop your mouth.

You freeze.

His mismatched hands cradle your face, one warm flesh and one cool metal. His lips are soft and slightly chapped against yours. You can’t move, but your heart hammers in your chest. What is happening?

Bucky pulls back after what feels like an eternity, or maybe a single second. His dark eyes flit across your face. You just stare.

“I never could do that,” he whispers. “There, I mean. But god, I’ve wanted to do that for—”

You barrel into him, pinning him to the bed. You hold his wrists down over his head, your knee pressed against his groin. Not hard enough to hurt, but hard enough to notice that he’s hard. His eyes are almost black, just a thin ring of their customary lightness still visible in the dimness of the room. The muscles of his right arm are tense. He could throw you, from this position, but he lays quite still beneath you.

His face is inches from yours. Both of you are panting; his warm breath fans your face. The smell of toothpaste doesn’t mask his particular intoxicating scent. Goosebumps break out along your bare arms and legs.

You crouch over him, your torso stretched above his. Bucky licks his lips again. He tilts his head up, baring his throat. His eyes are heavy with desire.

“It’s only fair,” he says huskily.

Your eyes drag down across his flushed face, his lips, his stubbled chin, the line of his throat, and finally settle on the rapidly beating pulse point just above his collarbone. You duck your head, your arms stretched a little more to accommodate the movement, and press an open-mouthed kiss to that pulse point. His heartbeat thuds against your lips.

Then you sink your teeth against his collarbone, and Bucky jerks beneath you. His chest brushes yours—when did your breasts get so tender?—before he collapses back down, his breathing even heavier than before.

You pull back and stare down at him. Heat dances through you, between you; Bucky’s grinding himself on your thigh, just enough to notice. His arms are still splayed over his head, his hands caught in yours. You push his hands into the mattress and slowly move back until you’re kneeling between his knees.

He leaves his hands where they are.

You take the opportunity to look him over. Your teeth have left a mark on his collarbone. His loose t-shirt is too dark for you to make out the shape of his chest, but the tent in his boxer briefs casts a hefty shadow. You run your hand up his thigh, the dusty hairs there standing on end as your fingernails scrape against his skin. You stop at the hem of his briefs, your thumb curling against his inner thigh and just brushing against him.

His cock twitches, and he shudders.

“You tease,” he rasps.

“Alright, alright.” You can’t help the smile on your face. “Well, tell me then. What do you want?”

“I want you.”

“You’ll have to be a little more specific than that…” You push his shirt up over his abs, kissing them as you go.

Bucky grabs your hips and pulls you up his body; you lose your balance and collapse on his chest just as he takes your face in his hands and kisses you again. This time, you’re not frozen. This time, you’re burning up. The feel of him under you is everything you’ve ever wanted. In this position, his cock is nestled between your legs, and you rock against it with no mind to what Bucky might think.

Then his hands slip around to squeeze your ass, and you remember that his hands were supposed to be over his head. You bite his lip and slam his hands back into place.

Bucky ducks his head and latches his mouth onto your breast. Your silk romper is no protection from the wet heat of his mouth, and your elbows buckle as he sucks your soul out through your nipple.

“Fuuuck, Bucky—”

He pulls back with a wicked grin and licks his lips. “Sorry, baby. Couldn’t resist.”

You laugh breathlessly. He’s too adorable, too fuckable—do you even care about control anymore? Every second the power changes. If things keep going the direction they’re headed, both of you are going to win no matter what.

What’s a little democracy among friends?

“Alright, fine.” You sit up on his thighs, threading your fingers in his, and kiss his knuckles. “No point in resisting anymore.”

Bucky sits up too, his cock pressed tight between you. He worms his hands free and loops his arms around you. He doesn’t grab your ass again, just holds you against him and gazes into your eyes.

“You mean that?” he murmurs.

You raise your eyebrows. “Sure.” You drag your core against his cock, a shudder running through you. “I think we’ve gone past holding it in.”

“Well,” he says. He peppers kisses across your face, prompting a giggle, and finally slides a hand down to squeeze your ass. The other dips between your legs from the front, and the brush of his hand against your clothed clit sends starbursts rushing through you. “Here’s to not denying ourselves.”

“Ch-cheers,” you stammer.

Bucky turns and lays you back on the bed. You look up at him, breathless, as he whips his shirt over his head. He has to tilt his hips to free his cock from his boxer briefs, but they go flying off the bed in turn.

God, what a man.

His chest is smooth and pale in the dim light, his sculpted muscles leading a natural trail down to his Adonis belt and the thin line of hair leading down to his jutting cock. Fuck. He’s big; his glans is almost purple, the tip leaking precum.

Bucky chuckles at your blatant staring. “Enjoying the view?” he teases.

“I’ll say,” you answer breathlessly. You press your thighs together, desperate for friction after that single touch.

Bucky notices. Of course he does.

“Let me,” he says huskily. He peels the straps of your romper down your shoulders and arms, peeling the fabric away from your tender breasts—you suck in a breath as the cool air hits your skin—and past your hips with your underwear. There’s a wet spot in the crotch, of course there is; you hadn’t noticed before, but you’re positively dripping with desire. You kick your clothes away. Bucky worms his way between your legs until your thighs are hooked over his. You grab hold of the sheets with a moan as Bucky kneads your breasts. His right hand skates down your belly.

When he finally dips his fingers inside you, you cry out and buck your hips into his touch. He brings his fingers to his lips and hums as he tastes you. Then his hand is back between your shaking legs, sending fresh lances of pleasure through you. His thumb circles your clit as two fingers tease your entrance. Your toes curl and your hands ache from clutching the sheets, but god, you can’t let go. The wet sounds of his fingers thrusting into you are pornographic.

“Mm, so wet, baby. Is all that for me?” he murmurs.

You let out a breathy moan, unable to form words. Your eyes flutter shut as his thumb traces patterns on your clit and his fingers curl inside you, all while his metal hand plays with your breasts.

When his fingers finally find your g-spot, you see white. Your back arches right off the bed as your limbs seize up; a wordless cry leaves you as shudders rack your body. All you can feel are Bucky’s hands on you, in you, his mouth suddenly back on your breast.

When your orgasm finally passes, you realize Bucky has pulled away. He’s lying next to you, his cock pressed innocently against your hip as he wipes your damp brow.

Of course, there’s nothing innocent about the way he’s sucking his wet fingers. When he wipes them on his bare skin, you pull him down for a brief, lazy kiss.

“There we go,” Bucky says. His eyes are still dark, but there’s a gentleness to his expression that fills you with unexpected warmth.

Was the room cold before? You can’t tell anymore.

“Think you’re up for more?” Bucky asks.

You reach over and take his hard cock in hand; he hisses at the sudden contact. “You’re certainly up for more,” you tell him, and he laughs breathlessly and kisses you again.

“You minx.”

You squeeze him, and he crawls over you until his cock is nudging your entrance. He pauses suddenly and pulls a few inches back.

“What?” you ask, annoyed.

“Um, what about protection?” he asks hesitantly. The blush on his cheeks isn’t the flush of desire. It’s cute.

Also entirely unnecessary.

“I’m clean, you’re clean, and we both know I can’t get pregnant,” you remind him. His eyes flash with sudden memory. You sigh and kiss his cheek. Maybe he had forgotten—but it doesn’t matter. Not now, when he’s inches from screwing you into the bed. “Now fuck me already, yeah?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

You hitch your hips as he aligns himself, propped up by his elbows curled under your arms. You reach down to help him find the right angle, then wrap your arms around his waist and press your hands against the small of his back.

Both of you gasp when he finally pushes in. Your eyes slide shut, and Bucky’s head falls onto your shoulder as he rests there, only the first few inches in. It’s tight, and after your orgasm you’re extra sensitive. You can feel when he twitches inside you. You can feel every millimeter, every bump and ridge, as he slowly sinks the rest of the way in.

“Fuuuuck,” he groans. He brushes sloppy kisses along your shoulder until he’s sucking a mark into the same pulse point you’d kissed on him before. “Fucking perfect.”

You squeeze your walls around him, absurdly pleased when he hisses in pleasure. Damn right you’re fucking perfect. You were trained to be perfect at this, among other things. But hearing it from him, with his voice so damn wrecked, is a million times better than the stilted approval from the rest of them back at the Red Room.

He’d never given you words of approval before, but now…

Hearing him sing your praises is a literal fantasy.

He pulls out, then slowly pushes back in. His hair tickles your skin; his lips are still on your neck, his chest against yours. It’s all so good, too good. You spread your legs wider, digging your heels into the mattress as you lift your hips to meet his on the third thrust. You turn your head and kiss the side of his head, the shell of his ear.

“Fuck me,” you whisper as he pulls out, leaving only the tip inside. “I want—”

Bucky buries himself inside you so fast you cry out in shock. He sets a furious pace, pulling back enough to stare down at you as he breathes harshly, the air whistling through his teeth. His hips snap into yours. You buck up against him as best you can, but he’s so unrelenting you can barely keep up. All you can do is let him hammer you into the creaking bed. You reach up and grab the headboard, holding it still and anchoring yourself.

He grabs one of your legs and hooks it over his waist, opening you even more to him. Your mouth falls open. Now, every thrust hits your g-spot, sending a steady stream of sparks through you. Your arms tremble from the strain of containing yourself. You’re awash in feeling, in heat; your painfully hard nipples are burning from the friction of his chest, and there’s the throbbing radiating from your clit, and, and, and…

Your second orgasm comes without clear warning, when Bucky hitches your leg higher and pushes in just a little deeper. This time, your cries are soundless, and your eyes squeeze shut as you let the sensations crash through you like tsunami waves.

Through it, Bucky keeps pounding into you, bottoming out every time. He slows as you come back to yourself, and finally stills long enough to kiss you senseless all over again.

“You sure know how to wear a girl out,” you mumble against his lips.

He chuckles, low and filthy, and pulls out of you. Cool air tickles you as he moves away; you feel empty without Bucky’s cock in you. You whine in disappointment, but then he flips you onto your front and pulls your hips off the bed. He grabs your pillow and stuffs it under you.

“If you weren’t so darn worn out, I’d let you ride me,” he says. He squeezes your ass, spreading you open for his eyes. “ Let you hold me down… But you’ll have to make do with this.” He pulls one arm back, trapping you in place. Your cheek is pressed against the rough sheets. You clench your walls, desperate for some relief.

He guides himself back inside you, and oh god, it’s even better than before. The new angle lets him get even deeper; he hits every spot. Soon, he’s snapping his hips so hard into yours that you’re slipping up the bed, losing height as he flattens you into the mattress. Your arm burns from his hold, and dimly you realize you couldn’t get out of his grasp if you tried.

You whimper at the thought, a fresh wave of want pooling at your core. Your nipples are throbbing in time with your rapid heartbeat; Bucky’s free hand digs into your hip. You know he’ll leave bruises, but this time all the realization does is spur you to push back against him as best you can, moaning.

“God, Bucky, more, more, c’mon!”

Bucky growls. He lets go of your arm and pulls you up by the base of your neck until your back is against his chest. He slams up into you, his right hand coming around to squeeze your breast and his metal left hand snaking across your belly to flick your clit with the speed of a machine. Your head falls back onto his shoulder. Your eyes are squeezed shut, your keening cry unending. You grab your left breast and tweak your nipple in tandem with Bucky at your other breast; your right hand joins Bucky’s left at the joining of your bodies, your fingers forming a V around the base of his cock as he pulls out and pulls you down on him. You can feel your wetness coating his length. God, he’s got you right where he wants you—no, you’ve got him where you want him…

Tears prick at your eyes as tension coils in you so tight that you’re desperate for release, but Bucky stills his hand on your clit at the last second.

“Stay with me, baby, I’m almost there, hold on, a’most,” he rambles. His rhythm falters as his cock swells impossibly harder inside you.

Your legs are jelly, but he’s more than strong enough to move you as he wills. Your walls clamp tight around him, your hand reaches lower to cup his balls, and with a shout he slams you down on him one last time, his metal thumb flicking your clit with abandon as his cock twitches inside you.

You see stars.

All the tension building releases in an earth-shattering explosion. Waves of pleasure pass through you; you quake in Bucky’s arms, and he holds you tight as he cums inside you. You hear yourself babbling his name, swearing, crying out—you’re a mess, you’re wrecked, you’re buried in his arms and he’s buried in you, and oh god, it’s everything you ever dreamed of.

Bucky lifts you off him. You topple forward, still wrapped in the aftershocks. He falls to his side beside you and wraps you in his arms as you slowly ease into stillness. His stubble scratches against your shoulder as he kisses the skin there.

Eventually, you feel recovered enough to speak, but words fail you. You’ve just had the best sex of your life with the man of your daydreams—and actual dreams, to be honest—but you’re at a loss for words. You don’t need to pump him for information. You’re not about to thank him.

What else is there to say?

“That was fuckin’ incredible,” Bucky mumbles. He rolls you onto your back and kisses the edge of your mouth.

You smile weakly and thread a hand into his hair. His words are all you need. “Yeah,” you tell him. “It was.”

“Next time I wanna watch your pretty tits bouncing,” he says, tweaking a nipple between his fingers.

You burst out laughing and shove his hand away; after all that, you’re still too sensitive to enjoy his teasing touch. “What?!”

“Hey,” he says, holding his hands up defensively, “you’re the one who told me to be more specific.”

You shake your head incredulously as you hobble to the bathroom. “Alright, alright…”

Once you’ve used the bathroom and cleaned yourself off with a damp washcloth, you crawl back into bed. The heat has finally kicked in; it’s pleasantly warm now, but not too hot to keep you from snuggling into Bucky’s open arms.

“So?” he asks.

“So what?”

“Next time…”

You huff tiredly into his neck, but a smile curves your lips as you recall how this all began. One stray comment about handcuffs… Maybe it all went sideways for a while there, but god, what a beautiful resolution.

“Sure. You can watch my tits bounce all you want. But you’ve got to keep your hands where I put them.” You catch his hands in yours and hold them together against your back. “Think you can submit to that?”

Bucky groans, but it’s a good kind of groan. The kind of groan that’s anticipating, not dreading, what’s to come. “For you, I’d submit to just about anything.”

[shatteredglassanimated]

Shattered Glass Animated Season 1 Episode 6 - Blast From The Past

Overlord Sumdac is preparing a new kind of battle-drone to take out the Resistance and with his new unholy alliance, the threat is getting greater. Meanwhile, Blitzwing tries to teach Lugnut to be more amicable.

“Aw, come on!” Penny pouted up at Lugnut, hands propped on her hips. Miles was cowering at his usual place behind her. He threw nervous glances up at the Decepticon. Unlike his human companion, he was well aware of Lugnut’s annoyance.

“I am busy, human,” Lugnut snapped. “Find someone else for your rituals.”

Penny threw her arms up in frustration. “Who? All of you are always busy talking to Aaron or Cyrus lately! It’s boring.”

Lugnut turned away from the platform he’d put his damaged arm on to give Penny a one-optic glare. “Hard as it may be to believe, we all have more important things to do than participate in meaningless activities for your enjoyment! If that is a problem to you, I suggest you find a way to make yourself actually useful and leave me be.”

Penny stared at him for a moment. Then her eyes started watering. She sniffled, turned on her heels and ran out of the room, Miles hot on her tail. She passed Blitzwing on her way out. The Triplechanger looked after her with a worried expression.

“Did something happen?” he asked.

Lugnut shrugged. “Organics. Always leaking over every little thing.”

Blitzwing frowned. “What did you say?”

“Evidently something she didn’t like,” Lugnut grumbled, turning back to his arm on the table.

Blitzwing ex-vented and leaned against the door-frame, crossing his arms. “Lugnut, would it really put you off-line to be a bit more friendly?”

Lugnut huffed.

“I am just saying, it might be hard to get the rest of the humans to like us if you keep being so hostile.”

“I do not need to be liked,” Lugnut snapped.”What use is bonding with them in any case? We’ll be leaving this planet eventually.”

“But we still don’t know when that’ll be,” Blitzwing retorted. “Megatron, Blackarachnia and Professor Black are still working to establish a way for us to communicate with New Kaon. We need what help we can get.”

Lugnut said nothing, though his movements grew a tad more aggressive. Blitzwing walked over, picked up the bigger mech’s arm, ignoring his protests and firmly put it back in Lugnut’s empty socket.

Lugnut stared at him for a bit, then moved the arm around. It stuck.

“..Fine. What would you have me do?”

Blitzwing smirked. His faceplate switched over to Hothead, who gave a bellowing laugh. “Oh, you will hate this next part!”

                                  ---------------------------------------

“I’m failing to see how this relates to my new body,” Optimus Prime said drily, his single intact optic narrowing.

Sumdac chuckled, tightening another screw on the gigantic, metal structure before him. “Oh, quite a lot my decapitated friend. What I am constructing here, is a new form of battle-bot. Once it’s finished, it will give us the edge we need to overpower the resistance and your metallic “friends” aiding them.” He took a few steps backwards to admire his work. Three gigantic metal bodies stood against one wall of his laboratory.

Optimus narrowed his optics at the things. To him, these creatures looked laughably boorish.

The one in the middle was the biggest, with a square body, ending in a long tail, two powerful hind legs and, as if to offset them, two very small arms with three claws on each one. It’s head was almost as big as it’s body with jaws the size of a scrap press. The one to the right was smaller, with more equal proportions and stood on all fours. It’s head was framed by a shield-like plate. It had two horns on it’s forehead and one were it’s nose should have been. The one to the left seemed tiny compared to it’s companions. It was barely two heads taller than Bumblebee, with two long winged arms and a narrow head that seemed like it had been pulled apart on both sides, forming a pointy beak and a crest. It stood upright on two spindly legs with sharp talons on it’s pedes.

“Stunned speechless, I see,” Sumdac said, grinning. “Not that I would fault you for that. These new models were made to resemble creatures from our earths’ Jurassic era. Roughly two hundred million years old.”

“That’s hardly impressive,” Optimus replied bluntly. “Cybertronians have existed for ten billion years.”

Sumdac’s face grew red and he took a deep breath. It was at times like these that the concept of just pulling the plugs connecting the head to his building’s systems grew ever more tantalizing.

“In any case,” he continued through gritted teeth, “These dinosaurs, as we call them,  especially the three I modeled these drones after, were apex predators and fighting machines. If properly motivated. Luckily, all the motivation my creations require, is the push of a button. And once they defeat and capture the Decepticons, I will have all the blueprints I need to construct you the body you so desire.”

With a self-assured smirk, Sumdac stepped up to a control panel positioned in front of the drones and pressed down a few buttons.

The drones’ eyes lit up red. They started to twitch, moving their limbs. Then the drone in the middle let loose a roar that echoed off the walls of the lab. Sumdac’s grin grew downright manic as he watched his creations come to life.

Then the drone on the left flapped it’s wings a few times and rose into the air. Sumdac’s grin vanished.

“Not in here you imbecile,” he shouted, waving his arms. “This room is nowhere near big enough to-”

The drone, in it’s eagerness, shot up and crashed right into the ceiling. It’s head got stuck in the countless cables in the air. It flapped, screeching furiously. Finally, it’s thin neck snapped under the unevenly distributed weight. The screeches subsided. It’s body crashed into the drone in the middle, taking one of it’s small arms off. The middle drone roared again, stumbling to the side.

It stumbled over the right-most drone and buried it beneath itself, completely crushing it’s body in a mess of bent metal and sparks. Smoke filled the laboratory. Right on cue, the sprinklers set in, immediately extinguishing the small flames coming from the mangled bodies.

Sumdac quietly stood there and watched the mess, fists clenched so tightly they shook.

“Evidently there was a reason they died out so soon,” he heard Optimus snark behind him.

                                           ---------------------------------

“Alright,” Blitzwing announced, hands propped up on his hips. “Before you start being friendlier to humans, I believe we should practice with you being more friendly to fellow Cybertronians!”

“I’d just like to remind everyone that I have things to do,” Blackarachnia spoke up, arms crossed and a scowl on her faceplate.

She, Blitzwing and Lugnut were standing in one of the mine’s empty tunnels. Blackarachnia and Lugnut were standing across from each other, with Blitzwing positioned in the middle.

Lugnut’s optic narrowed and he opened his intake, but Blitzwing quickly stepped in front of him. “Which is why Lugnut is very grateful you took the time to help us anyway.” He elbowed the bigger mech slightly. “Right?”

Lugnut rolled his optic, but relented. “Yes, my gratitude knows no bounds.”

“Well that didn’t sound very nice,” Blackarachnia said, giving a mocking pout.

Lugnut’s optic narrowed again, but Blitzwing shot him a warning look and he ex-vented, shoulders drooping. “Thank you, I suppose.”

Blackarachnia shrugged. “Eh, it’s a start.”

“Alright, let us begin,” Blitzwing said quickly, clapping his hands together. “We’ll start with something simple. Lugnut, imagine Blackarachnia had done something to irritate you. Something like, taking the last energon cube. What would you do?”

Lugnut gave a long vent. “Blackarachnia, I wanted to take that cube. That was quite rude of you.”

“Didn’t see your name one it, big guy,” Blackarachnia smirked.

Lugnut’s optic narrowed. “Why you-!”

“Lugnut,” Blitzwing said warningly.

“I... suppose there is some truth to that,” Lugnut said through gritted denta. “Still, I really wanted that cube. You know I am a flight frame. I need more energon than you.”

Blackarachnia put a hand to her chin as if in thought. “Hmm, you’ve got a point there.” She let her servo drop to the side and grinned. “But then again, you could stand to lose a few megatons. Maybe you would actually hit something, if you were lighter.”

Lugnut lunged at her before Blitzwing could stop him. Blackarachnia jumped out of the way with ease, grin never leaving her faceplate. Lugnut crashed against the wall. The impact knocked several rock loose. The three of them managed to vacate the tunnel just in time before it came down.

They were still busy padding off dust from their frames and peeling smaller rocks out of their systems when Megatron, Starscream and Professor Black came running around the corner, the two Decepticons with their weapons raised and the mutant with one acid-dripping arm out of the sleeve of the special suit he’d taken to wearing.

“We heard an explosion! Is everything alright?” Megatron asked.

“Yeah, we’re good. That was just Lugnut trying to be nice,” Blackarachnia answered drily, flicking a pebble off her shoulder plate.

                                          -------------------------------

Optimus let his optic wander over the destroyed bodies of the drones, deep in thought. For all his taunting, he had to admit the drones were commendable for what they were. Though he wouldn’t be caught off-line admitting that to Sumdac.

The human had stomped out in a huff after his inventions had chosen to destroy each other instead of their shared enemies. Which had given Optimus ample time to study what remained of their body and circuitry. Like everything else on this planet, they were far too primitive as constructions to serve as potential new bodies for him.

But they were formidable enough to serve as his arms, metaphorically speaking. All they needed was a steady servo to guide them. Also metaphorically speaking, given his current situation.

Optimus let parts of his consciousness seep into the laboratories’ computers and machinery. It didn’t take long to reassemble the bodies and implant a signal beacon. They would be at his beck and call at a thought now.

When Sumdac re-entered the room, he found his drones fully repaired and operational.

“Spare me the thanks,” Optimus said, feeling a smug satisfaction at the sight of Sumdac’s disbelieving expression. “I suggest you have these things brought to the city. I’m sure our heroic friends would just love to meet them.”

                                    ------------------------------------------------

Blitzwing looked out over the water from the spot on the beach he was standing on. He had to admit, the way this planet’s sun reflected off the gleaming surface made for a very calming sight. Almost peaceful. Neither the Cybertronian colony he had been forged on nor New Kaon had a sun as bright as earth’s.

The sound of Lugnut barrelling through through the thick foliage behind him tore him out of his thoughts.

“Oh don’t complain,” Blitzwing said, as Lugnut opened his intake. “I told you to land on the beach. This island will be the ideal place to train you. No humans to watch us and nothing else you could break or cause the collapse of.”

“I suppose,” Lugnut huffed, bending a small tree out of the way.

“Since practicing doesn’t seem to agree with you, I guess we’ll just.. talk about this.” Blitzwing scratched the back of his helmet nervously. He had to admit, this hadn’t been going how he’d planned it out to. “Let’s star with, um... why do you feel you have to be so harsh to the humans?”

“I am not being harsh, I am being straight-forward,” Lugnut said, crossing his arms. “Would you want me to tell them sweet lies and deceive them, like an Autobot?”

“No, of course not! But Lugnut, there is a middle ground between lying and being polite.” Blitzwing ex-vented. “Humans have feelings and thoughts just like we do. And perhaps you should consider that the next time you speak to them. A little empathy can go a long way.”

Lugnut went quiet for a short time. His optic expanded a little. “Blitzwing-”

“Lugnut, Blitzwing, come in!” Both Decepticons flinched slightly at the sound of Megatrons voice in their comms. They both reached up to their aduials.

“Where are you?” Megatron asked.

“At an island not far from the city,” Blitzwing responded.

“What? What for?”

“That is.. a bit hard to explain,” Blitzwing said, fiddling with his insignia and hoping the embarrassment didn’t seep into his vocalizer. He had completely neglected to tell anyone but Blackarachnia about his and Lugnut’s little trip.

“In any case, we need you back here and fast! It seems Sumdac’s machines are attacking the city!”

“Understood,” Blitzwing replied. “We’ll be there immediately.”

Him and Lugnut nodded to each other, then transformed and took off.

                                    -----------------------------------

Downtown was chaos. Civilians were running through the streets in a panic, screaming and crying. Three humongous drones were rampaging through the streets, overturning vehicles and trampling everything in their way.

The drone who resembled a Tyrannousaurus, turned it’s head back and forth, as if looking for something, even sniffing the air a few times. It completely ignored the panicked young woman trying to dodge it’s claws. Before it could squash her, a laser-blast collided with it’s chest throwing it back.

Megatron lowered his arm cannon and turned to Blitzwing and Lugnut, who had just touched down a few feet away, already turned back into robot-mode.

“Blitzwing, Lugnut, evacuate the humans! The rest, help me contain these drones!”

The other Decepticons nodded. Blitzwing and Lugnut split up, each leading a group of humans away from the fight. Lugnut suppressed an annoyed growl. It was like these organics didn’t want to be saved! Every few steps they would stop to turn back and gape at the fight. Some managed to stumble over their own feet so often, Lugnut wondered if they perhaps hadn’t been assembled right at forging.

“Will you move, humans?” he finally snapped, when one of them once again threw a hasty look over their shoulder instead of running. They stared at him, eyes big and fearful. Lugnut flinched a little, remembering Blitzwing’s words.

“Now look,...The situation might be less than ideal, but, um...” He was no good at this. And now what little movement he had managed to bring into this group seemed to have stopped entirely.

He heard a noise behind him and extended his right arm just in time to catch a van that had been sent flying by the fight.

“Lugnut, what are you doing?” he heard Megatron shout behind him. “Get those humans away from here!”

“Do you think I haven’t tried?” Lugnut snapped back, turning around with a narrowed optic.

His anger lowered his spacial awareness. The servo currently clutching the damaged van collided with the wall of a nearby building. A part of the wall broke in, with a couple pf brick raining down on the streets and the still terrified humans. The sight of several heavy objects seemed to kick them into gear at least.

The humans started screaming in fear again and ran into the alleyways and side-streets. Lugnut stared after them, feeling somewhat guilty. He hadn’t meant to frighten them or put them in danger. At the very least they weren’t in harms way anymore. He turned to go back to the fight.

Megatron was busy engaging the drone with the enormous jaw, holding it back with his swords. Blackarachnia and Blitzwing were trying to subdue the other two, together with the humans. Starscream was currently chasing the sole flying drone through the air, trying to shoot it down with his pulse canons. being a seeker, Starscream was a fast flyer, but the drone was small and very agile, dodging his shots at every turn.

When the drone bearing three horns on it’s head tried to snap it’s jaws around Blitzwing’s servo, Lugnut punted it in the stomach, sending it flying into it’s companion and away from the Decepticons and the humans.

“What are those things?” Blackarachnia asked, looking down on Cyrus and Amicable Archer. “I thought you said this planet didn’t have any Cybertronian life-forms except for us.”

“It does not,” Archer responded, setting in an explosive arrow. “‘Tis another ploy of Overlord Sumdac! He built these vile beasts in the image of animals long perished.”

“Just without the skin,” Cyrus shrugged. “We call ‘em dinosaurs.”

“And what weaknesses do these ‘dinosaurs’ have?” Megatron asked, readying his sword at the sight of the two drones slowly picking themselves back up.

“Err, I dunno. They died out, like, billions of years ago,” Cyrus replied, assuming a battle-ready stance.

“Then we shouldeth repeat that process,” Archer grinned, letting his arrow loose.

The explosive hit the three-horn in the head, but did little but make it stumble. Starscream touched down beside the group, frowning.

“I hate to admit it, but this thing is too small for me to hit. You’d think fighting Autobots for stellar cycles would have prepared me for that.”

“And those other two seem particularly stubborn, for all that they have no combat skills, “ Blitzwing added, rubbing a new dent on his side. “We should-”

The tyrannosaurus charged without warning, aiming right for Megatron. Megatron pulled his sword up just in time to block the drones jaws. The drone let out a furious roar, before clamping down on the blade, tearing it out of it’s owner grip and tossing it across the street. Before Megatron could react, the drone buried it’s jaw into his now weaponless servo, biting hard enough to make the plating crack and draw energon.

“Get away from him!” Starscream shouted. A bright light flashed from his eyes and the next second, his intake shifted. A sound-projector-like device assembled itself inside of it and shot a mixture of a strong acoustic wave and proton blast right at the drone.

The drone screamed as the blast hit it, letting go of Megatron. The blast threw it backwards, right into the three-horned drone who had just started to get up again.

Starscream’s intake transformed back to normal. The Decepticons and humans stared at him in shock. Starscream himself seemed just as shaken. He brought a hand up to his now regular intake, as if to make sure it was still there.

“Wow. Guess I know why they call you Starscream now,” Cyrus joked, crossing his arms.

“Starscream” Blitzwing said, “I’ve known you for stellar cycles and this is the first time I’ve seen you use this power. How did you do that?”

“I..I don’t know,” Starscream admitted. “I suppose I was just really angry and then... this. But, that never happened when I fought before!”

“In any case, it is a useful power to have,” Megatron said, laying a hand on Starscream’s shoulder-plate and giving him a smile. “I would have been short of a servo if not for you.”

“Ha, yes,” Starscream chuckled, face-plate flushing a little. “Though we were pretty lucky I made the thing let go before blasting it into a wall.”

Megatron looked thoughtful for a moment. “Do you think you could do it again? At will?”

Starscream hesitated for a second. “I think so.”

Megatron smirked. “Then I believe we just found a way to deal with these ‘dinosaurs’.” He turned to the others. “Round up the drones in one place. Make them as easy a target as possible. Starscream, do you think you could do the same with the flyer?”

Starscream grinned. “I said I can’t hit it. I didn’t say I couldn’t scare it.”

With that, the Decepticons and the humans took off.

Lugnut lowered his arm to allow Blckarachnia to download. When she was finished, the two of them with additional  help from Cyrus, surrounded the three-horned drone. It lashed out for Cyrus, only to be kicked aside by Blackarachnia. When it tried to lunge at her, Lugnut and Cyrus tackled it towards the middle of the street.

The drones with the large jaws tried it’s luck with Blitzwing, only to slip on a pool of ice suddenly appearing under it’s feet. It screeched and dug it’s claws in, trying to anchor itself. A blast of energy hit it in the side and propelled it towards the same spot the three-horned drone was currently busy fighting off Blackarachnia, Lugnut and Cyrus.

The flying drone was back to dodging Starscream’s proton-blasts, though it’s movements were a fair deal more frantic now. When a shot grazed it’s right wing, it let out an ear-shattering screech and dropped down onto it’s two companions.

“They’re all together! Now, Starscream!” Megatron shouted.

Starscream opened his intake. There was no light this time, but the sonic canon appeared anyway, firing a blat that seemed even stronger, now that it’s owner knew what he was doing.

The drones screeched, trying to cover their non-existent ears. Sparks jumped over their frames and they collapsed on top of each other, motionless.

“Sumdac’s really upping his game,” Cyrus commented, walking over to the drones to get a closer look. “That’s the first time he tried Dinobots.”

Blackarachnia raised an eye-ridge. “‘Dinobots’?”

Cyrus blushed a little. “We gotta call ‘em something, don’t we?”

“In any case,” Megatron said, re-sheathing his swords. “We should retreat back to the mines fro now. These things don’t pose a threat anymore.”

“Shouldeth we not take them with us?” Archer asked. “They seemeth to resemble your kind a great deal.”

“Not exactly,” Blitzwing said, picking up his human friend. “They have a semblance of a spark in them, but... they don’t have free will like we do.” He hesitated for a second. “I think.”

“Decepticons, transform and rise up!” Megatron commanded.

The group transformed into vehicle mode and took off towards the woods. Blitzwing couldn’t help but throw a glance back at the seemingly lifeless bodies of the Dinobots before following.

                                    -------------------------------------------

Optimus scowled at the pathetic scorching husks that had once been his attack drones. When the one wit the large jaw had sunk it’s teeth into Megatron he had almost been able to taste victory. But then came that annoying second-in.command and his sonic pulse.

Through their link, Optmius had felt it when it hit the drones. It had been... unusual. There was something else behind the sonic waves, an energy comparable to a spark. But as his connection with the drones had been severed shortly after, he hadn’t been able to analyze it further.

Sumdac had raged and huffed and thrown tools around and in the end he had retreated to his private quarters, not even bothering to look at the re-captured drones. For once, Optmius couldn’t fault him for his behavior. If he’d had a body, he would have done the same.

The drones had been the closest he’d come to being mobile again in solar cycles. Now they wouldn’t even twitch at his signal.

“If even the greatest mind of this planet can only produce you,” he told their still bodies, “Then my chances of ever getting my body back are grim. Locked in this lab-”

“’Grimlock’? I do say, ‘Grimlock’... It’s quite a nice name.”

Optimus’ optic widened. The drone with the large jaw had talked. And now it moved. Slowly, carefully, like a proto-form making it’s first steps, the drone pushed itself back onto it’s legs and turned it’s head from side to side, as if seeing the room for the first time. It’s two companions followed suit.

“Looks like the Decepticons didn’t destroy you after all,” Optimus said slowly. “So what did they do?” His optic lit up for a split-second, then dimmed again. “You don’t respond to my Cybertronian commands anymore either. But you still function. As if you had sparks.”

The big-jawed drone, tilted it’s head from side to side. “Yes, that’ll do nicely. I am Grimlock,” it muttered, as if it hadn’t heard.

Optimus fought down a  surge of annoyance at the thing ignoring him. “Well, Grimlock, my name is Optimus Prime. And I am your leader.”

Grimlock turned to look at Optmius, his own, small, blue optics narrowing just the slightest bit. “Beg your pardon my good Sir, but I am quite certain that I, Grimlock, am the leader of our trio. Though I admit I do not know much else...”

“Obey me!” Optimus snapped, optic lighting up again.

To his anger, the drones once again did not respond. But one of the many screens on the wall switched on, rattling off a documentary.

“-and so the remnants of the dinosaurs, known as fossils, serve as fuel for today’s cars, trucks and air transports. Furthermore-”

“Not you!” Optimus groaned.

He prepared to retract from the system to shut the voice down. But then he noticed the drones. All of them seemed focused on the screen now. Grimlock’s expression, what little of it could be read, seemed apprehensive now, almost disturbed.

“How barbaric!” he exclaimed, the other two drones squawking in agreement. “So these... ‘cars’, ‘trucks’ and ‘air transports’ consume our kind?”

If Optimus still had an intake, he would have grinned. “They do! Airs transports especially consume a lot of fuel. They feed off your fossils and at the rate they’re currently going, you’ll be extinct in no time. Your only chance of surviving is to destroy them.”

Grimlock’s optics narrowed. “It would appear so.”

“And do you want to know what’s worse than air transports?” Optimus asked amiably. “Air transports that transform into robots!”

He pulled up the security camera feed, showing the Decepticons in battle. The Dinobots seemed to believe him.

“It makes you angry, doesn’t it?” Optimus asked. “Use that anger. Let it out!”

Grimlock and the other two drones roared and opened their jaws. Three streams of fire surged through the air, consuming the screen on the wall until their was nothing left but melted metal.

“My word!” Grimlock said, examining the said remains of the monitor. “Were we always capable of such destruction?”

“Yes,” Optimus lied. “I built you like this. And if you manage to destroy the air transport robots, I’ll built and entire army of drones just like you. What do you say to that?”

Grimlock drew himself up to full height, snorting out a small fire ball. “I say, to battle, fellow Dinobots!”

                               --------------------------------------------

The gate to the Terrordome opened. A procession of huge vehicles exited the building, driving towards downtown. The few civilians that had come back to garner what was left of their belongings saw the ironclad trucks and quickly retreated.

The trucks stopped side by side in the middle of the streets. The police drones that had accompanied them stood aside. The trucks transporters opened.

The Dinobots stepped outside, looking around curiously, as if they hadn’t been there only hours ago. Captain Fanzone exited one of the driver’s cab and looked up at his cargo with a wide grin.

“Well fellas,” he said. “Knock yourselves out! Just give us a call once your done!”

He re-entered the vehicle and gave the driver the sign to drive off. As the trucks rolled back towards the Terrordome, Fanzone heard a roar behind him. When he turned, he saw the Dinobot he had been told was named Grimlock pick up one of the parked cars and sever it in half with a single bite.

Fanzone chuckled as he settled, shaking his head. “This is why I love machines.”

                                ------------------------------------------------

“Don’t these things ever learn?” Lugnut asked, irritated, as the Decepticons once again made their way through the sky and towards downtown.

Below them the Dinobots were on a rampage, tearing up streets and throwing cars around.

“No longer shall we, the Dinobots, be food!” screamed the one with the large jaws.

“Apparently they learned how to talk,” Blitzwing said nervously.

In that moment, the flying drone opened it’s beak and released a stream f fire into a nearby car underneath it.

“As well as a few other tricks,” Megatron commented.

“Well, what’re we waiting for?” Cyrus spoke up from withing Lugnut’s cockpit. “Let’s give ‘em the old sonic shout and send ‘em back to the stone age!”

“Wait!” Lugnut called. “Perhaps we should lure them away from this area first. I’ve seen a few humans who have not yet evacuated when we flew over these buildings.”

“That... is a very good idea, Lugnut,” Megatron answered, sounding surprised.

Lugnut huffed, hoping his vocalizer wouldn’t give away his embarrassment. “I simply think the humans would be very grateful if their housing units stayed intact this time. And it will be easier for us to fight without them getting in the way.”

“Aww, no worries big guy,” Blackarachnia cooed mockingly from her sitting spot on Blitzwing. “We won’t get any crazy ideas about you having a spark after all.”

With that Megatron swooped down close to the ground Starscream and Lugnut following after him. Each of them rammed into one of the Dinobots, hard enough to knock them over, but not hard enough to do damage.

All three of the Dinobots let out infuriated roars.

“You wish for a fight?” Grimlock growled. “You shall have it!”

The Dinobots spit fire at their attackers, but the Decepticons had already taken to the air again, easily avoiding their attacks. Letting loose irritated snarls, the Dinobots followed suit. The Decepticons led them well outside of town, onto the road.

There, they touched down to the ground and transformed back into robot-mode, weapons out and at the ready.

The Dinobots stopped dead in their tracks, seemingly dumbfounded by this chain of events. Their optics wandered over their opponents, then came to a halt at Blackarachnia.

“Um, wereth they not going to attack?” Archer whispered to Blitzwing, confused.

“They were supposed to,” Blitzwing said.

“And what are they staring at me for?” Blackarachnia asked indignantly. “It’s not like I’m the only organic thing on this planet!”

The Dinobot in the middle perked up at her voice, then shook his head. “Ah, you must forgive me, fair spider-lady. I, Grimlock, seem to have been awestruck by your beauty.”

Blackarachnia blinked. “What?”

The three-horned Dinobot and it’s flying companion made a sound that sounded a lot like gurgling and pressed themselves on the ground.

“But how can this be?” Grimlock asked, seemingly talking more to himself than anyone else. “How can such a lovely creature be accompanying the vile flying transport robots who consume our kind?”

“Er, I’m confused,” Cyrus admitted, scratching his bald head. “Are we gonna fight or what?”

“We might not have to,” Megatron said grimly. he turned to Starscream. Starscream, do you think you could hit all of them at once with that new power of yours?”

“Starscream blinked. “I... yes, I think so but...will that be necessary? They’re fairly peaceful now.”

Megatron shook his head. “We don’t know if it will stay that way. We need to at least put them out of commission for now.”

Starscream hesitated, the nodded. He took a step forward. His intake transformed into the sonic gun. The blast hit the Dinobots with full force. With a pained screech, they stumbled backwards, then collapsed.

“Blitzwing, freeze them,” Megatron called.

Blitzwing lowered his ice cannons and encased the Dinobots in a wide block, big enough to take up most of the road.

“Well that was easier than I thought,” Cyrus commented. He looked up at the frozen Dinobots, frowning. “What do we do with ‘em now?”

“We destroy them,” Megatron said curtly.

Blitzwing flinched and turned towards his leader, optics wide. “Wait, what?”

“Blitzwing, you’ve seen what they can do. What they did. They are dangerous. We can’t allow Sumdac to find and repurpose them again,” Megatron said gravely.

“But...but,” Blitzwing stuttered. “Isn’t that a little extreme? You heard them, someone clearly told them we were some sort of threat! And besides that...” He looked at the Dinobts, optic thoughtful. “I felt like something was different about them this time. They seemed like they were aware. Like... like they had sparks. What if they’re more than simple attack drones?”

Megatron shook his head. “These are far too many ‘what ifs’ than we can afford right now. I would be lying if I said it didn’t irk me a little bit, but it has to be done.”

“I agree,” Lugnut spoke up, stepping forward. “I propose me, Blitzwing and Blackarachnia stay behind to take care of matters. You and Starscream should fly Cyrus and Archer back to our base in the meantime. Just to be safe.”

Megatron gave him a surprised look, then quickly got ahold of himself and nodded. “Thank you, Lugnut. I’ll believe we’ll do just that. Come along, Starscream.”

Starscream nodded, throwing a suspicious glance at Lugnut as he did so. Lugnut didn’t blink. Starscream shrugged, transformed and let Archer enter, before following Megatron, who had done the same with Cyrus, into the air.

Blackarachnia, Blitzwing and Lugnut watched them fly away.

“Now,” Lugnut said, when the two of them were out of sight. “I believe we have work to do.”

                                         -----------------------------------

“Gotta say, big guy,” Blackarachnia commented, looking down the edge of the giant crater into the lush, green valley before her. “I really wasn’t expecting that.”

Donw below her, the Dinobots were roaming around through the grass, sniffing here and ther and letting out a joyful squawk or screech now and again.

“Me neither,” Blitzwing admitted, smiling slightly. “I was sure you would actually destroy the Dinobots, when you proposed it to Megatron.” he turned to look at Lugnut, who was watching the Dinobots as well, expression unreadable. “May I ask what made you change your mind?”

Lugnut huffed, crossing his servos. “I have seen Cybertronians like the Dinobots during the war. Young, naive, still barely protoformed. Easy to manipulate in their youthful zeal. It was obvious they had no idea what it was they were getting into when they fought us.” He lowered his head a little. “Had we destroyed them, Sumdac would have found their remains and rebuilt them eventually. And then they truly would have had a reason to despise and fight us. What good will it do us to make more enemies on this planet than we already have? This island is remote enough to be a good hiding place from Sumdac. Here, they’ll be able to carve their own path, their own identity. Far away from any wars.” He looked up again. “A respected fellow Decepticon once told me ‘A little empathy can go a long way.’ I suppose I decided to heed that advice today.”

Blitzwing’s smile widened a little.

“Welp,” Blackarachnia said, stretching. “Since that’s all wrapped up for now, we should get going. It’s been a long day and I have a comfortable berth back at the mine with my name on it.”

“And I need to find a certain small organic,” Lugnut said quietly. “Whom I owe an apology.”

Lugnut and Blitzwing transformed, Blackarachnia jumped onto Lugnut’s wings and the three of them departed.

Back in the valley, the Dinobots were still wandering around. Grimlock looked around.

“I, Grimlock, must say I quite like this ‘nature’.”

He took another step forward. The humming of machinery inside of him intensified. His claws retracted. His massive jaw pulled in and onto his chest. His small, scrawny arm stumps were pulled into his body to be replaced by two mechanical arms. A helm with a red visor and a riffled intake popped out where his jaw had been pulled down from a second ago.

“But I must say. I like this even more,” Grimlock said, grinning.

He pulled a sword out from his back and watched as it engulfed itself in flames.

[lesbiaseagull]

Hiya! May I get an Overwatch matchup pretty please?? I am a 5'4, 28 y/o straight lady with copper hair and green eyes! I'm laid back, but my moods differentiate because of my Bipolar Disorder. I can go through depressive episodes, to manic highs in just a few minutes. I am very stubborn, and talk to myself all the time. I am really good with animals, and I like to invent/craft things. I'm an adrenaline junkie as well! I love doing things that get my nerves high, but safely! Thank you dearly!! 💕

I match you with…McCree! 

Your copper hair is the feature that caught his attention, and your green eyes. He can easily deal with your moods, since they don’t bother him too much, he’s there for your depressive episodes, and your high ones. He finds your stubbornness adorable. You both can bond over the fact that you both love animals, even though there’s a few he’s probably afraid of, and he loves to watch you make things, it’s satisfying to him. You two will do crazy things together, he might be more of an adrenaline junkie then you!  

[araliyaintheskywithdiamonds]

Home Is Where - A CrissColfer Fic

Summary: How finding a house together means a lot more than you would think. 

For the wonderful @marigold68. Hope your own house-hunting is going well!

Title and lyrics from Home by Gabrielle Aplin

Word Count: 783 AO3

(take me away to someplace real)

The key appears so soon on his key chain that Darren doesn’t even have time to be surprised. It’s a small, grey, nondescript thing, unremarkable enough to unlock a toolbox or a garden shed or a closet.

It had sure felt that way, when Chris had pressed it into the palm of his hand one night, kissing him firmly and finally at the door. Darren had accepted it blindly, too distracted by the sight and sound and smell of Chris, Chris, Chris, to have it later fall out of his pocket when he’d been doing the laundry.

Darren had felt the weight of it in his palm, felt the weight of all of the words they’d left unspoken that night, and wondered whether it was normal to move so fast, so soon. He’d chalked it up to the fact that it wouldn’t be ideal for either of them to be spotted anywhere near each other’s residences, and brushed it aside.

If, later that night, he fell asleep to the word forever in his mind, it didn’t mean anything. Nothing at all.

(home is where your heart is set in stone)

When Darren moves in, it doesn’t feel like it- not really. It seems only natural to climb into Chris’ BMW, exhausted from the full day of work, and drive back to Chris’ place.

It’s only when Darren tells people he’s going home, and realises he’s talking about Chris’ house, does he do a double-take. It’s true- his own apartment is empty and forlorn, only visited when Darren runs out of clothes, the air of it so unfamiliar and unwelcoming that it feels alien to stay a second longer- to see the bed he hasn’t slept in for months.

Darren says home and he thinks of cyan blue eyes and ultramarine blue sheets, a teal blue gate that locks the two of them away from the rest of the world; the place where they can just be.

(and I'll bury my future behind)

It’s a rather terrifying invasion of privacy that prompts the decision to move again.

Darren gets the call from Chris that afternoon, and he’s shaking so hard he can barely get the words out. Darren drops his work at the studio, doesn’t give his manager a second glance, and drives straight back home.

They sit on the bottom step of the staircase, Darren holding Chris (who’s still shivering), and they quietly discuss what they’ll do next. Chris wants to move, wants to make their house their own again, and it seems only natural that they talk about it like they’re moving together.

Darren stops paying the rent for his abandoned apartment and shoves what won’t fit at Chris’ into a storage container- to be unearthed once they have their own place.

(as long as we're together, does it matter where we go)

They go about it like giddy newlyweds- (though they won’t be, not for a couple of more years)- with the catalogues and the tours and the manic real estate agents.

The house becomes a mess of tape and boxes, and they blow off plans every night to sit on the living room floor and sort through yet another pile of belongings they’ve completely forgotten existed.

(Chris is forced to acknowledge the fact that he wouldn’t be out of place on an episode of Hoarders, and Darren laughs and changes the number of ideal storage rooms from one to three.)

After months of inspections and reinspections, they find a place. The agent leaves them in the foyer with a set of keys, a binder full of paperwork, and the remote control for the gate.

They spend a solid minute in silence, staring at each other, before the keys and the binder slide onto the floor, to be later shoved out of the way by a stray elbow.

The living room is christened that night (Darren thanks god for the invention of carpets), and they fall asleep on the couch- the only piece of furniture in the house apart from the coat rack in the hall.

It’s sort of surreal, when Darren wakes up in the morning. All around them is emptiness, sunlight streaming in through the windows and warming their chilled bodies. Dust motes spiral through the air, winking when they hit the light.

“Good morning,” Darren murmurs, when he feels Chris shift in his arms.

Chris looks up at him, sleep-hazy and beautiful. “Welcome home,” he whispers.

Not long after, Darren writes a song about living in a cardboard box with the love of his life, and thinks he might be getting just a little bit soft.

(take me away to some place real)

[aion-rsa]

I Think You Should Leave Season 2: Ranking Every Sketch

https://ift.tt/eA8V8J

How on Earth did we survive two years without new episodes of Netflix’s brilliant sketch comedy series I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson? The first batch of six episodes premiered on April 23 of 2019 and proved instantly iconic. 

Contained within the season’s roughly two-dozen sketches was absolutely hilarious and essential comedy that provided ample memetic kindling for the internet’s conversational fire. For the focused enough mind, it’s entirely possible to communicate with one’s friends exclusively in I Think You Should Leave memes. Lord knows, I’ve tried it.

Thankfully, ITYSL season 2 has finally arrived on Netflix after its COVID-19 delay. It features 28 sketches that range from “pretty funny” to “I can’t stop laughing. Oh God, I can’t stop laughing. It hurts, surely this is the end. Surely, I will die.”

Check out our rankings below and then begin yelling at our chances like Spectrum is dropping your network.

28. Credit Card Roulette

If nothing else, Tim Robinson and I Think You Should Leave co-creator Zach Kanin are incredible comedy scouts. Through two seasons, the show’s sketches have been a who’s who of up-and-coming comedic talent, like the wonderful John Early who is featured in this sketch. Unfortunately Early is not served well by the material here, which doesn’t rise to the same ludicrous heights as season 2’s other sketches. The best moment is Early’s immediate resolve that he’s not paying the bill, but the sketch doesn’t go too far after that. 

27. Dave’s Poop Double

The sketch that serves as the cold open of season 2’s final episode doesn’t get things off to the best start. The concept of Tim’s “Luka” hiring a guy who looks just like his coworker Dave to take monster shits every time he gets up is certainly fun but missing an important layer of added absurdity. Luka is probably the best name for any of Robinson’s random characters yet though.

26. Little Buff Boys Pt. 2

Season 2 features many more callbacks to previous sketches than the first season did. This followup to Little Buff Boys is the worst of the bunch but still quite funny. Perhaps the only thing more absurd than a Little Buff Boys competition is someone being proud of running “one of” the biggest LBB competitions in the Greater Cincinnati area. This sketch also passes up an easy Cincinnati Chili joke in favor of creating the truly vile “cherry chuck salad.”

25. Detective Crashmore Trailer

This trailer for action thriller Detective Crashmore is funny enough on its own but doesn’t reach another comedic level until the AOL Blast interview two sketches later. Still, I unironically want to see an action film with a lead character whose main quip is “Eat fucking bullets, you fuckers. You fucking suck. You fucking SUCK!”

24. I Should Have Got That

I Think You Should Leave deserves a big spread in AARP magazine. No other sketch show revels in the talents of older comedians quite like this one. After 81-year-old comedian Ruben Rabasa stole the show in season 1, season 2 ups the ante with many more sketches letting old folks shine. It’s Bob McDuff Wilson’s turn this time around and his child-like obsession with his student’s burger kills right up until the shockingly dark kicker.

23. Office Surfing

“I almost killed myself, Jullliieeeeee” is one of the best line-reads of the season. The sketch it’s built around isn’t too remarkable but man, does Robinson knock that one out of the park. 

22. “No, I Don’t Know How to Drive”

This is a quickie but a goodie. Robinson’s characters break down in tears quite often this season and this is one of the better occasions. How far have Tim’s characters come – from reveling in the existence of four-wheeled motorcycles to looking at the inside of a car and weeping “I don’t know what any of this shit is and I’m fucking scared.”

21. The Capital Room

Speaking of top tier comedic talent, thank God Patti Harrison stopped by another season of I Think You Should Leave. This time around, we get two heaping doses of Patti. This one, the first of the two, is the inferior but still quite great. In the span of roughly 30 seconds, Harrison unveils the saga of a woman who A. Got sewn into the pants of the Thanksgiving Day parade Charlie Brown float, B. Hates all bald boys, C. Sued the city and won a fortune, D. Is now helplessly addicted to wine, and E. Is tragically self-aware that her money will run out soon.

20. But It’s Lunch

Just like last year’s opening sketch, “But It’s Lunch” (this is probably a good time to mention, that I’m naming all of these things myself. You could very easily call this the Hotdog sketch but that would confuse it with last year’s hotdog sketch) sets the perfect opening mood. The sight gag of Robinson’s Pat trying to stealthily eat a hotdog is wonderful, and the fact that things so quickly escalate to hotdog surgery and puke is just sublime. 

19. Carber Hotdog Vacuum

The follow-up to “But It’s Lunch” occurs a full two episodes later and proves to be a hell of a pay-off. Robinson’s unnamed character (who is obviously Pat) very quickly reveals that there is one very specific reason he made this hotdog vacuum invention and you’ll never guess what it was. We all make mistakes. We shouldn’t be fired for them.

18. Insider Trading Trial (Stupid Hat)

This sketch somewhat mimics the experience of trying to explain what I Think You Should Leave is like to someone who has never seen it. “So, this guy took too small a slice of toilet paper…” or “…and then he has to have to have sex with his mother-in-law.” “Insider Trading” rotely describes the bizarre behaviors of one of Robinson’s deeply strange characters, Brian, as it’s being read into the court record. Brian and his stupid fedora with the safari flaps is in attendance to provide a visual aid. As are some hilarious flashbacks in which Brian attempts to roll the hat down his arm like Fred Astaire and instead encounters only wheelchair grease. 

17. The Ice Cream Store is Closed Today

Before he was a criminal lawyer, Bob Odenkirk was one of the most legendary sketch writers of all time. It’s only fitting that he stop by ITYSL season 2 to provide his comedic blessing. Odenkirk is great from the get-go but this one doesn’t really get rolling until the end when Robinson finds himself truly immersed in the fictional life of this sad old man. “His wife’s sick but she’s gonna get better” is a shockingly emotional moment amid pure farce.

16. Barbie and the Blues Brothers

This is the sketch that climbed the most in my rankings upon a second viewing. What first seemed to be a waste of Conner O’Malley’s manic comedic energy became a semi-classic once I submitted to its strange vibes. I don’t even know what to call this one but Robinson’s character refusing to stop dancing as Barbie the dog melts down is hilarious. O’Malley is better served by last season’s “honk if you’re horny” sketch, still he gets some bangers in this time around like “She thinks he’s a whole new guy because of the glasses and the hat” and “it’s her house, she’s doing what’s right!” Robinson once again closes this nonsense out with some well-earned tears. “It’s just me, Barbie. I’m not the Blues Brothers.”

15. Jaime Taco (I Love My Wife)

“Jamie Taco” is a prime example of just how rapidly (and how well) I Think You Should Leave is able to veer into pure nonsensical genius. At the top, this sketch comes perilously close to making an actual statement about how men are too quick to pretend like their wives are horrible nags. This sketch, however, has its sights set on something much dumber…and therefore better. Our hero (played hilariously by Richard Jewell’s Paul Walter Hauser) loves his wife because she helped him through his darkest moment, which just so happens to be when snotty young actor Jamie Taco refused to let him say his Henchman lines in a play.

14. Comos Restaurant 

All hail the return of the great Tim Heidecker! Heidecker, of Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job! fame, is one of the few comedians with a strange enough sensibility to be reasonably seen as an I Think You Should Leave forerunner. His season 1 turn as a walnut-obsessed jazz douche is a classic and this one reaches similar heights. This time, Heidecker’s character, Gary, and his lovely date, Janeane (Tracey Birdsall), have good reason to be annoyed by their date night at the sci-fi cosmos restaurant being interrupted by some hacky jokes. Of course, they use this opportunity to reveal that Jeannine’s mom used to drink puke for the Davy and Rascal radio show to pay for school supplies. It’s oddly refreshing to have a Heidecker character given a game partner and Gary and Janeane make one great team.

13. Detective Crashmore Interivew

While the Detective Crashmore trailer is the setup, this interview with AOL Blast is the punchline. Detective Crashmore is played by Santa Claus, because why not? Actor Biff Wiff’s gruff, nasally Midwestern timber is the perfect accent to accompany this lunacy. This is a Santa who in one breath demands to be taken seriously as an actor (Billy Bob Thornton-style) and in the next admits to seeing everyone in the world’s dick.

12. Sloppy Steaks (I Used to Be a Piece of Shit)

From here on out, it’s nothing but absolute homeruns. “Sloppy Steaks” could very well have been number one on this list and few would have batted an eye. The setup here is amazing as it gives Tim Robinson a reason to essentially have beef with a baby. The baby cries because he knows Robinson used to be a piece of shit. But don’t babies understand that people can change? That’s funny enough to begin with, but the real gut-busting moment here is the reveal of what “being a piece of shit” really means. In this case it means slicking one’s hair back and dousing the steaks at Truffoni’s with water to make sloppy steaks.

11. Johnny Carson Impersonator

Just a quick rundown for those who are confused…

Johnny Carson = Can Hit. George Kennedy = Can’t Hit. George Bush = Can’t Hit. 

10. Driving School (Her Job is Tables)

This is the rare I Think You Should Leave sketch that actually provides an answer to all the lunacy. As Robinson’s character’s Driver’s Ed class watches Patti Harrison’s actress in some dated videos, they can’t help but wonder what she does for a living. “Tables,” Robinson answers over and over again. This would be funny enough on its own but the reveal that Harrison provides tables to Monster Cons is a rare and valuable moment of “Ohhhhh that’s why” for this show. Equally as valuable is Harrison, who really sells that those tables are her lifeblood.

9. Claire’s Ear-Piercings

One has to wonder how much time goes into choosing the perfect “order” for the sketches in I Think You Should Leave. Two seasons in a row now, the show has selected pitch perfect opening and closing sketches. This closing number is oddly melancholic as the Claire’s orientation video for girls who want to get their ears pierced somehow gives way to one 58-year-old man named Ron Tussbler’s existential dread. If we really get to see the “highlights” after we die, forcibly fake laughing every ten minutes to make the voyeuristic experience all the richer sounds like a good strategy and not sad at all. Hang in there, Ron.

8. Little Buff Boys Competition

What. A. Crop. It was a virtual certainty that ITYSL season 2 would feature a spiritual successor to the classic “Baby of the Year” sketch in season 1. Thank God “Little Buff Boys” is up to the challenge of replicating that magic. This one has all the right elements to be another hit: Sam Richardson (in a wig this time, no less), a grand pageant hall, and some precocious youths. Troll Boy also joins the canon of young ITYSL characters who everybody instinctively hates alongside Bart Harley Jarvis.

7. Tammy Craps

There’s something weirdly nefarious about this commercial for a poisonous doll that doesn’t have farts in her head anymore. It’s a criticism of late stage capitalism crossed with the cursed nature of the Annabelle movies…while not being like either of those things at all. In reality, this is just another absurdist concept sprung from the terrifying inner depths of the writing staff’s mind. It also happens to be a particularly great one. The girl weighing her clothes down with rocks so she can hit the magical 60-pound threshold to safely play with Tammy Craps is one of the best gags of the season.

6. Karl Havoc

“Little Buff Boys Competition” and another upcoming sketch are likely to produce the lion’s share of memes and quotes from this season of ITYSL. But the one quote that’s stuck in my mind most aggressively comes from this hilarious episode 1 clip. The sight of Robinson’s Carmine Laguzio posing as the dead-faced freakshow Karl Havoc and muttering “I don’t want to be around anymore” is quite simply one of the funniest things I’ve ever witnessed. This is a marvelous, unnerving, utterly hilarious sketch. That there are somehow five better sketches speaks to how strong this season is. 

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5. Dan Flashes Pt. 1 (Office)

I Think You Should Leave is now two for two in introducing the most cutting edge items in men’s fashion. Season 1 featured the arrival of the highly practical TC Tugger shirt. Now season 2 ups the ante with the stylish Dan Flashes. This sketch succeeds because it takes a simple question “Why is Mike laying down during a business meeting?” and divines the most outlandish answer possible. Mike isn’t eating because he’s spending all his money on Dan Flashes shirts. 

4. Dan Flashes Pt. 2 (Hotel Menu)

It’s one thing to introduce a hilarious concept, it’s another thing entirely to put it into practice. This second entry into the Dan Flashes canon is amazing. Back in part 1, it seemed as though the intricate patterns on the Dan Flashes shirts have a hypnotic effect on men who look exactly like Tim Robinson. Seeing the reality of that – pasty men battling one another to get their credit cards to the cashier before the other – is truly hilarious stuff.

3. Coffin Flop

This is the second sketch of the entire season…the second! And holy shit, does it set a strong precedent for what’s to come. This impassioned message from the Corncob TV CEO for Spectrum to save his network and its precisely one television program is a masterclass in shock humor. Watching body after body busting out of shit wood somehow never loses its grim luster. Somehow, in a sketch that features dozens of naked corpses flopping to the ground unexpectedly, it’s Robinson’s monologue that hits the hardest. “This world is so fucked up. And people are mad at me because I showed a bunch of naked dead bodies with their spread blue butts flying out of boxes? Really?”

2. Calico Cut Pants

Every episode of I Think You Should Leave season 2 features five sketches save for episode 4 which has only three. And that’s because episode 4 is dominated by a near 10-minute epic called “Calico Cut Pants.” In many ways, Calico Cut Pants is the platonic ideal of an ITYSL sketch. It takes place in a nightmarish world where every bizarre action only leads to an even more bizarre reaction. Nothing ever cools down. There is always something stranger on the horizon.

In this instance, Mike O’Brien (longtime SNL writer and the creator of the terminally underrated comedy A.P. Bio) plays an office drone who enters into a living hell merely because his co-worker helps him out of a mildly annoying social jam. Robinson’s character introduces him to a website that advertises pants with piss stains on them. That’s all well and good but once you know about Calicocutpants.com you Always. Have. To. Give. It’s like PBS, but more demonic. This remarkable sketch includes everything that’s great about this show, right down to characters with inexplicable idiosyncrasies like Tim Robinson’s adamance that doors must always be held open for him.

1. Ghost Tour

The funniest moment in ITYSL season 2 (and maybe the funniest moment in the history of the world) occurs in this sketch. Tim Robinson’s character has been admonished for his potty mouth during a ghost tour over and over again. The tour guide even said he’s ruining his job. But this poor man sincerely cannot understand why he’s in trouble. This is a tour for adults and he’s following the rules by using adult language. Like any good Robinson character, he truly believes that he’s the sane one and it’s the rest of the world that’s taking crazy pills.

So in his darkest moment, the man musters up his strength through tears and delivers the following query:

“Not trying to be funny. Not trying to get a laugh. I don’t want anybody to have the worst day at their job. But. Do any of these….fuckers….ever blast out of the wall and have, like a huge cum shot?”

Cue: riotous, damn near apocalyptic laughter. What a treasure and blessing this whole show is.

I Think You Should Leave season 2 is available to stream on Netflix now.

The post I Think You Should Leave Season 2: Ranking Every Sketch appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/3yCWxMF

[20dollarlolita]

YOU

CAN RETRACT

YOUR EBAY BID

IF IT IS MORE THAN 12 HOURS FROM THE END OF THE AUCTION.

It flags your account if you do it for stupid reasons. If you say you entered the wrong amount, you have to immediately place a new bid, but this got me out of accidentally paying $400 for a broken machine. I had to run the risk of paying $210 for a broken machine, but given my options and how much money is in my checking account, I'll take it.

Edit:

I want to get a really inexpensive embroidery machine, because finding good prints in suitable fabric is such a difficult part of making handmade lolita. I always want to find new ways to decorate hems, and I have my Super Obnoxiously Fancy embroidery machine, which I took out a loan to own, and who and whose accessories I can only afford because I get an employee discount at the place that sells them. But I don't think that recommending that people go into debt and change their career paths is particularly in line with this blog. I wouldn't feel bad about recommending trying embroidery on what is literally the cheapest embroidery machine I could find, however. So, sometime, it would be a really enjoyable way to combine multiple hobbies of mine into advice I can offer on this blog.

However, there's also an element of elevated bipolar mood called "manic spending." Elevated mood leads to impulsivity, feeling more willing to take risks, and sort of a general disconnect from bad things in your reality. For example, how much money is in your bank account? That sounds disappointing, and we need everything to be fun and great! So, that's just not happening. There's no concern for if the bank account will run out. And, when that's not a concern, it really sounds like a great idea when that thing you want someday is a thing you can get now! It'll be great! You'll make everyone on the tumblr happy! You'll change the world! There are literally no downsides to this because we're currently completely unable to accept negative information. It is completely imperative that you make this purchase now, and with no concern for the consequences.

So, I'm not in a manic episode--and side note, it drives me completely bonkers when non-bipolar people casually uses the term 'manic episode' to describe non-bipolar feelings. Manic episodes are often life-threatening, job-ruining and relationship-destroying situations. If you're lucky, you remember your last manic episode fondly as the time you invented another language when locked in your closet and then send 48 copies of Dark Souls 2 to your ex. I had a seriously elevated mood episode in November of 2020 and it impacted every element of my life for about 6 weeks and that didn't qualify as a manic episode. I don't appreciate someone who had never dealt with that describing finals week where they only get 6.5 hours of sleep a night and was stressed the whole time as a manic episode. It's a medical term with a definition and it's not the same as being busy and stressed--but I will spend money I shouldn't when I'm having elevated mood. Usually, I need one good, shocking, stupid purchase to really remind me that I have to focus on reining it in, and this was that, hopefully. Because a thing that's a good idea in two months isn't a good idea right now.

(Nothing was as effective as the time I accomplished a horrifying, shocking expenditure that was only $48, which I did by buying something with serious emotional content that went counter to everything I believed. And this was how I ended up with my $14 Mary Magdalene replica, which is the single most entertaining alleged garment that I have ever owned.)

Anyway, thank you for listening to my stupid mental health problems. It's a part of my life and it impacts everything I do. Fun fact, bipolar is considered treatable, but there's no cure. And, because it's considered so successfully treatable, there's not anyone really looking for a cure (or at least funding a look for that cure). So, pros, there's lots of understanding about what it is and ways to treat it, and that's good. But cons, there's just this thing where it's going to vary between being a minor annoyance and a serious problem my whole life. I don't have tinnitus (thankfully, because I have other ear problems and I'm grateful that I don't have that) but I heard someone describe it as being a minor, lifelong annoyance, and I feel that. On the spectrum of bad things, it's not really bad, but it's annoying, and it's never going away. So that's fun.

Anyway, my foot being all kinds of fucked up for an entire year while I try to make doctors think that I actually sprained it on the inside edge has really impacted things. I like being able to go outside and go on walks to get my heart rate up, and I haven't been able to do that. As much as I fucking hate when healthy and neurotypical people suggest exercising your mental health problems away, it does negatively impact my mood when I can't walk. And, bonus issue, I didn't have a doctor who would even address that part of the problem (though I did have one lecture me on my exercise habits while also refusing to examine my ankle with my shoe off). But I have MRI results and a new doctor who is going to tell me what to do about torn tendons. BTW, the reason the first doctor didn't think it was a sprain on the inside is that inside sprains almost always tear tendons, and six months later and holy cow, guess what??? guess who has chronic-appearing tears on the inside of her ankle????? but whatever, that's what's happened with that. So there's plenty of stuff that's negatively impacting the bipolar, but hopefully this specific element is going to get under a more effective control now.

Thanks for reading all this.

I can't tell if I'm having some kind of episode of bipolar hyper-irritability or if everyone today is just extra annoying.

Just had a customer tell me that I didn't need to be nervous when working with her return. I'm not nervous. I have chronic hand tremors. I mentioned that and she went, "No, I can tell you're nervous." I usually shut that down with, "Nope, not nervous, just disabled," and generally that shuts people up, but not her.

"Imagine how people who are really disabled feel when you say that," was her response.

Honey, I don't need to imagine how people who are actually disabled feel about your response, because I am one.

[fountainpenguin]

Hi! I love all of your FOP headcanons!! Would you mind writing some for AC? I would appreciate it!💖💖💖

Ah, thank you very much, Anon! I feel like I’ve said most of these headcanons about Anti-Cosmo already, but I’ll try to add some new ones.

FUN FACTS ABOUT RIDDLEVERSE!ANTI-COSMO

I have probably never drawn his hair the same way twice ever. The messy back parts have stayed pretty consistent, but mixing his canon hair with his ears doesn’t always work.

He’s the son of a concubine and a castle servant. He was not born to inherit anything and nobody expected he would ever amount to much.

It also doesn’t help that he was a sickly child. He was born late and didn’t develop as well as the rest of the Anti-Fairies born that Friday the 13th. His body temperature is naturally lower, and he has darker fur along with it (Y’know, ‘cuz… biology. The colder places on animals have darker fur).

He’s also incredibly short. No, really. He’s very short and scruffy.

His personality profile is “skittish bookworm” with his nationality being High Southian (The cloudland version of British).

Nervous habits: Puffing his cheeks, tapping his wand against his leg, pulling his hair, twisting the star-shaped cap on his wand, shooting random blasts at nearby furniture, meditating, and throwing tantrums.

Anti-Cosmo is a rather honorable man who always strikes from the front, never the back. This parallels Cosmo’s passive-aggression (especially towards Juandissimo in episodes like “Jerk of All Trades”).

He had his first kiss at a funeral. He had his first kiss with Anti-Wanda at a carnival petting zoo. I can only write romantic kisses when I can put the characters in a non-romantic location or else everything is too serious that it becomes ridiculous and I can’t stop laughing.

He’s very interested in reproduction. It started with a pet project of breeding genies in order to preserve a super endangered species, then turned into a quest to beat the system and allow Anti-Fairies to reproduce on their own, without being tied to the reproduction of their counterparts.

On a clearly unrelated note, the anti-fairy baby seen during Jorgen’s slideshow in “Fairly Odd Baby” that Jorgen claimed Anti-Cosmo and H.P. raised together is 100% canon in my fanfics. You may freak out at will.

Here is teenage Anti-Cosmo as he will appear in my fanfics (in FOP style):

Well, my take on FOP style. Look at him in his rebellious ultra-religious phase. It was only after meeting Cosmo that Anti-Cosmo got the idea of magically disguising his nose, like Cosmo did in “The Boy Who Would Be Queen”.

As you can see, this design is meant to mirror the teenage Cosmo seen in “Wishy Washy” (Though I’ll probably be tweaking it a bit to give Cosmo his green socks and a plaid shirt underneath his hoodie, to match the plaid shirt his teenage self wore in the Musical).

Anti-Cosmo first met Cosmo when they were teens like this. Cosmo said in “Timmy’s Secret Wish” that “the last time an old man came by saying we were his Fairies, I ended up chained to the water heater while he stole our DVD player.” In my fanfic Frayed Knots, that same man (younger) tricks Anti-Cosmo in a similar fashion. But instead of being handcuffed to a water heater, Anti-Cosmo got handcuffed to his roommate’s bed. Because the lock on these chains was magical, his roommate called in the nearest guy who held a job as a magic key- which, as we know from “Gland Plan”, was Cosmo’s “unmentionably horrible job”. Also this roommate was Wanda. Needless to say, it wasn’t quite the first impression Anti-Cosmo had hoped to make in front of his counterpart.

Cosmo has a disability- He can’t use magic unless he takes his artificial hormones. He takes these hormones in his milk, often in baby bottles. When Cosmo doesn’t take these milk hormones, he can’t use magic. When Cosmo can’t use magic due to the lack of hormones, Anti-Cosmo can’t use magic either. So, sometimes Anti-Cosmo randomly can’t use magic and it happens when Cosmo doesn’t take his hormones.

Anti-Cosmo is based off the Mexican free-tailed bat. I’m leaning towards Cosmo’s dad being the cloudland version of Hispanic, making Cosmo mixed race, as a parallel to Anti-Cosmo being a Mexican free-tailed bat. I also kind of like this idea because Juandissimo is the cloudland version of Spanish, so there’s extra rivalry there.

Because Anti-Cosmo is a Mexican free-tailed bat, he has a long tail and white toes. In Anti-Fairy culture, it’s considered public indecency to walk around with your tail out, though, so he keeps it tucked away even though it’s annoying and sometimes painful.

Anti-Cosmo is ¼ anti-brownie (vampire bat). Vampire bats are the only bat that can take flight directly from the ground. So, I gave Anti-Cosmo strong legs. He’s a good jumper and can deliver some nasty, powerful kicks.

He’s completely blind in his left eye due to an incident as a child when he tried to pull a genie from her damaged lamp by force and it exploded.

These days, he’s not on very good terms with his older brother, Anti-Robin (Anti-Schnozmo). They don’t hate each other, but things are just awkward at family reunions because Anti-Robin is such an oddball in Anti-Fairy society.

Anti-Cosmo and H.P. have a close relationship. They met each other a few times before the war over godchildren seen in “Balance of Flour”, but that was when their friendship bloomed. And then H.P. subsequently shattered Anti-Cosmo’s trust and acted all offended when Anti-Cosmo attempted to cut him out of his life. And then there’s the matter of a certain anti-fairy baby… It’s complicated. 

In modern times, H.P. and Anti-Cosmo are on pretty good terms and could be described as best friends who compete over everything. H.P. seems a little more invested in this friendship than Anti-Cosmo is, but that’s understandable seeing as Anti-Cosmo has Anti-Wanda and oodles of Anti-Fairy friends, and H.P. just has pixies who tell him what he wants to hear all day.

You could say that Anti-Cosmo inherited H.P.’s friendship from the previous leader of the Anti-Fairies because those two were close and after Anti-Cosmo overthrew him, H.P. turned to Anti-Cosmo as a surrogate and tried to dump all the expectations and feelings from that previous relationship on him, but you didn’t hear that from me.

Anti-Cosmo is also friends with Blonda. Blonda has an entire secret life the media doesn’t know about. Well, maybe not a secret life, but she does have a few secrets. Those two were able to hang out more when she was less popular, and before cameras were invented. They don’t see each other much anymore, but they parted on good terms.

Anti-Cosmo seems to be bipolar. “When Nerds Collide” and “Balance of Flour” were definitely episodes where he was on manic highs. “That Old Black Magic”, “The Gland Plan”, and “Fairly Odd Baby” were when he was in a more neutral state. It’s a parallel of Cosmo’s postpartum depression.

Anti-Cosmo is pretty clueless about technology. This parallels the fact that Cosmo seems to understand electricity and generators in “Power Mad”. Also, Anti-Fairy society is set in more medieval times; they have torches on the walls or use their wands to light their way instead of light bulbs.

Anti-Cosmo is a huge freak about about getting to places in plenty of time. H.P. will show up to things right on the dot, Cosmo tends to be a little late, but Anti-Cosmo will show up at his appointment ten minutes before it starts, and panic when he cuts it too close. His social anxiety does not do well with lateness.

Even so, he is consistently years behind fads.

He’s attracted to both Fairies and Anti-Fairies. This headcanon started from a comment he made in “Gland Plan” and then I kind of blew it out of proportion for plot reasons. He likes both.

He’s demiromantic demisexual. This means he doesn’t feel romantically or sexually attracted to people until after he gets to know them and establish a strong connection of trust and friendship. Despite his Deadly Sin being Lust, he’s not the type to sneak off and cheat on Anti-Wanda. He’s attracted to her and there’s not a lot of competition otherwise.

Anti-Cosmo likes to go outside when it’s cold and snowy; Cosmo prefers to stay in and snuggle by the fire with warm cocoa and cookies.

Anti-Cosmo’s signature kissing style involves a lot of rapid kisses. Like, he’ll grab Anti-Wanda by the shoulders and try to tell her something he’s super excited about, but every few words he’ll just plant a kiss on her face because he gets really excited.

He’s a vegan.

I accidentally thought Mexican free-tails were fruit-eaters for awhile.

Cosmo seems to be very fond of meat in the show.

It’s just a nice, contrastive detail for a villain.

He’d feel like a hypocrite if he wanted rights for Anti-Fairies, but completely ignored the animals- especially in a magical world full of magical animals who can talk.

Because Fairies and Anti-Fairies live in the cloudlands, they don’t have all the minerals and natural resources that we see on Earth, so they don’t use gold and diamonds for wedding rings and stuff. Mostly, they use leather (From magical animals). Anti-Cosmo is the only character in my fanfics whose wedding ring is described as being “braided” instead of made of leather. It’s made of other fabrics.

Anti-Cosmo and Foop do have some things in common, but they also differ in many ways. Anti-Cosmo is an extrovert who prefers working with general concepts than picking at details. He tends to put plans in action too soon, resulting in their failure and often landing him in jail. He’s good at rousing the crowds with his public speaking, but struggles to hold conversations one-on-one. 

In contrast, Foop is an introvert who obsesses over details. He’s always coming up with schemes, but he’ll think about the details too much and talk himself out of them, because the idea of failure is humiliating to him, and to be honest, prison messed him up as a child enough to give him an alternate personality, and he’s terrified of going back. Foop’s public speaking abilities are mediocre, because he tends to boast about himself, but he’s a lot better at conversations with one person at a time. Trying to focus on multiple people at a time can stress him out and trigger his alternate personality to show up.

Aaand that’s basically what I have to say about Anti-Cosmo!

[shamelessly4shameless-blog]

The Sand In Your Shoe (pt 14)

Mickey spreads an old hoody on the beach next to Ian and puts the plate down on it before disappearing back inside. He reappears on the steps with a cola in his right hand and a beer in his left.

“Gallagher?”

“Left.”

“Good man!”

Ian shakes his head, smiling as Mickey ducks once more inside. Finally he comes back out and he has a tray of beer, chips, some sort of pink dip and a couple of apples which he sets down beside the plate before sitting down with a contented grunt and picking up a beer bottle, temporarily oblivious to the amused look on Ian’s face.

“Cheers! … What?”

“Mick, are we having a picnic on the beach?”

Mickey looks around, scowling

“No.”

“You spread a blanket and put food on it.”

“It’s a fuckin’ hoody.”

Mickey quips, drawing his chin in defensively and swigging from his bottle before pointing the neck at Ian like a teacher with a laser pointer explaining something to a particularly dim student.

“And you can’t just put shit down on the beach, sand gets fuckin’ everwhere.”

“Okay.”

Ian shrugs and Mickey gives him a suspicious side on look before muttering

“It’s not a fuckin’ picnic”

and biting into his sandwich.

*

Ian begins to spiral as they eat. The beach is beautiful, he is sat next to the man he loves, today has been fucking weird as Hell so far but the majority of it has been amazing.

He tries to slow his thoughts down. Tries to breathe through the anxiety and push away the negative thoughts.

He completes his mental health check list and comes to the conclusion that he is feeling seriously fucking stressed. Ian hasn’t slept enough the last few nights, he is in a different climate, he is in love and terrified of ruining it. These are all things he is supposed to avoid or at least carefully prepare for!

Ian thought that things would move slower when he arrived. He didn’t think that they’d already be picnicking on the beach (and Mickey can couch it however he wants, but the activity he has just invited Ian to is a damn picnic!) Ian thought there would be more talking.

But of course that isn’t Mickey. Mickey is someone who acts not someone who talks. Ian knows he should just be grateful that the action Mickey has taken has been to accept him, to make love to him and to have a picnic rather than stamping him to a bloody pulp and banishing him back to Chicago. He knows that and yet the niggling fears at the back of his mind are getting harder to silence and a big part of Ian learning to live with his condition has been addressing things as they come up and Mickey has told him he doesn’t want to do that yet.

Ian’s feet are tapping the sand and his fingers are drumming the crust as if he is on the brink of a manic episode.

This thought panics him further but he pushes it down, Mickey made it very clear that he doesn’t want to deal with this sort of thing yet and Ian doesn’t want to deal with it either. God! How badly he wishes he didn’t have to deal with it. He ducks his head and prays that he is just having a regular, old panic attack and then almost laughs at the twisted absurdity of that.

“Hey, Ringo! You gonna play that bread or eat it?”

Mickey is smirking at him but Ian can see concern clouding his eyes and he hates it. As far as Ian is concerned, his illness is what drove them apart last time. Mickey tried so hard but it wasn’t enough. Any minute he is going to realise that Ian is still just the same. New job. New apartment. Same fucked up brain. Mickey is going to realise and he is going to make him leave.

The hug on the beach, the sex, the ‘I love you’s, even the fucking tomatoes! It’s all going to be swept away. He considers dashing back to the bar and taking another Lithium to calm down but he knows that will only leave him staring at walls whilst sounds echo around his head a few times before he can make out what he is hearing.

“It’s a really nice sandwich, thank you.”

His voice is flattening out and he feels his chin tremble.

Everything is so perfect already, it is all just perfect and it has only been a couple of hours. Too much has passed and too much has changed for everything to be fine so quickly. Mickey should be furious with him for so many things! How is he willing to just pick up with him as if no time has passed at all? Is it just a play? A set-up? Is he going to wake up tomorrow and find that Mickey was just toying with him to get back at him?

Ian reaches out and grips Mickey’s hand tightly in his own unable to bear the swirling paranoia on his own any more and after a second, Mickey squeezes tightly back.

Ian slowly lifts his eyes to meet the calm blue gaze he can already feel resting on him and what he sees there is a level of certainty that Ian hasn’t felt in so long that it almost frightens him in a whole new way.

“Can I ask what you’re thinking?”

“No.”

Mickey says firmly, but he is still smiling at Ian in that way that creates a little pocket of light in the darkening clouds of his mind.

“Fine,”

Ian half-laughs, shaking the tattooed fingers in his palm lightly

“Can I tell you what I’m thinking then?”

“Sure, but if I fall asleep don’t be offended.”

Mickey teases, even as he is putting his beer aside and turning to look at Ian properly, giving him his full attention. He has a vague notion of what is coming and braces himself for it. Mandy was right, Ian is like a dog with a fucking bone once he gets something in his head. Mickey should have known that simply telling Ian he didn’t want to talk about shit yet was not going to stall him long.

“You seem really happy here.”

“Yeah? Well it sure as Hell beats being behind bars.”

“Yeah but I mean … you’ve made a great life here, Mick.”

Ian is starting to find his stride and his hands are not shaking quite so badly now that he is talking.

“I guess.”

Mickey is clearly wary, giving nothing away and Ian bites his lip.

“You have everything set up just how you like it, right?”

Ian is searching Mickey’s face as if looking for some sort of flashing sign to appear on his forehead saying … something. Ian doesn’t really know what.

“Okay,”

Mickey huffs a long suffering sigh and removes his hand from Ian’s grasp, stretching his fingers through tangled red curls.

“Spit it out.”

“What?”

“Whatever dumb ass question you’re goin’ to ask me.”

“Why do you think it’ll be dumb?”

Ian asks, a little hurt and Mickey kisses the top of his head fondly

“Because it’s going to be about whether I want you here or whether there is room for you or some shit like that and I think I made myself pretty fuckin’ clear on that earlier.”

His tone is much gentler than the words he speaks and Ian chews the inside of his cheek thoughtfully before replying

“Well, I guess, I mean … where do you see me fitting in longterm?”

Ian is trying not to sound too worried but it creeps into his voice all the same.

“You’ve been here less than a day, man. I don’t … I mean, listen, we got time to figure all that shit out.”

Mickey shrugs and picks up his beer but his eyes never leave Ian’s face, he is staying with him, even though he is clearly not sure why Ian is being such a pain in the ass about this.

“But I need to know, Mick. I can’t just float around in your life.”

Ian crosses his legs neatly, facing Mickey properly.

“I know, but I didn’t exactly have a lot of warning you were coming,”

Mickey begins and then holds up his hands as Ian’s chin take prominence and quickly continues

“and I am fuckin’ glad you are here but I don’t have all the answers yet, Ian.”

Ian nods and allows a little of that logic to cut through the panic that has been building since Mickey pressed him against the wall in the kitchen.

He wishes that he could push it to the back of his mind and leave it there like Mickey asked him to but it’s just too much pressure. They’ve declared their love, they’ve had sex twice but they don’t have any actual plan and no matter how much he wants to be free, Ian can’t just go along on a whim.

“It’s just I have to give up my job and my apartment …”

“No, you said you were gonna to do that. No one is forcing your hand here.”

Ian hears the slight sharpness in Mickey’s tone and takes a slow breath before continuing with a careful precision to his words that instantly irritates Mickey.

“But all the same, that is what I have to do in order to be here with you and I just want to be sure that I have a place. If I do not have a place then I cannot move here.”

“Jesus! Yes! You have a place! I don’t know what it is yet but maybe we could spend five fuckin’ minutes working it out before you get all psycho-chick on me.”

Mickey doesn’t mean to lose his patience and he instantly regrets it but he doesn’t get why Ian is making this so hard. He just arrived, pretty much out of the blue, and expects Mickey to know exactly what to do with him! Outside of fucking, eating together and all the other shit that couples do, Mickey has no desire to control what Ian does at all, and he never has.

“I didn’t mean to be a psycho.”

Ian mutters and Mickey frowns guiltily down at his hands.

“Yeah, no, you weren’t. I was out of line.”

He doesn’t know why Ian needs to do this now. If Mickey is completely honest, he would rather jerk off with sandpaper than try and talk about this without time to prepare what he wants to say. It is exactly why he was so pissed that Ian has only given him a week, but there is something so obviously wrong with Ian at the moment … Mickey lets out a short heavy exhalation of breath through his nose.

“Ian, what you and I have is like … it’s like the fuckin’ ocean.”

He feels ridiculous but there isn’t much else in view to give him some sort of visual cue for what he’s trying to say and when violence or flight isn’t an option, Mickey can be surprisingly inventive in crisis.

“You know? Like, I love the ocean, it’s beautiful and I love being in it and being near it but I never know what the fuck it’s gonna do next. It might send one of those freak waves and destroy the whole fuckin’ town, for all I know. Point is, I don’t care ‘cause I’m sat here and I am down for whatever. But if you need to know exactly what’s what, you gotta try and find out for yourself.”

Mickey breaks off shrugging, he doesn’t know what else he can say and his nose is twitching like a fucking rabbit.

A couple of the tears that Ian managed to control in the kitchen slip over his lashes and tumble down his cheeks. It is perhaps the most romantic thing Mickey has ever to him and he watched every ounce of struggle cross his lovers face as he got the words out.

“I love the ocean too but I need to have a boat ready, Mick. If I don’t then I’ll sink.”

Mickey chews at the edge of his thumb, nodding slowly. He isn’t great with metaphors, but he started this one and he gets what Ian is trying to say, he just isn’t sure how to respond. After a few seconds he decides to just plunge in.

“Because of the bi-polar?”

Ian is still looking at him with that odd searching way that makes Mickey feel a bit too scrutinised for his liking but he bears it as best he can while Ian decides how to answer. He opens his mouth and closes it a couple of times and finally says:

“Yeah.”

It is hardly the cascade of information Mickey was both dreading and hoping for and catches him off guard. He snorts and gives Ian a brief cheeky smile

“You been around me for less than a day and I’ve already zapped your ability to string a fuckin’ sentence together.”

It’s a bit of a weak joke but Ian gives him an answering smile and brushes the back of his hand down Mickey’s forearm affectionately.

“Do you actually want to hear about it?”

“I don’t know, man. You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to but I was kind of there for the beginning of this whole thing. I get it, you know?”

Ian nods. It is a fair point and makes him feel a bit silly for worrying so much about trying to talk to Mickey about it in the first place.

“I’m still on my meds, they got the dose right and my moods are pretty even. When something big happens, I can get a little rattled and I have to stick to a routine or I can lose track of things pretty quickly. It’s how I have to live Mickey, I can’t just throw all the cards in the air because I never know if I’ll still be there when they land. You were so fucking great with me but I know how hard it was and … well I’m not like that anymore, I don’t get depressed and I don’t get crazy.”

As Ian speaks, his confidence grows and he twines their fingers together again and Mickey moves himself a little closer.

“Okay, so you just, like, need a routine? Like the guy who’s really good at scammin’ casinos and won’t go on a plane. Not Tom Cruise, the other one.”

“Are you comparing me to Rain Man?”

Ian is so surprised it actually completely bursts the bubble of the panic attack which has been deflating a little as their conversation went on.

“Yeah! Rain Man! That guy needed a routine, right? But he was wicked smart.”

“He was autistic.”

“Yeah? Oh. Well whatever man. Point is, I’m Tom Cruise and you’re Rain Man. I can take care of you.”

“You’re short enough...”

Ian mumbles and Mickey grins, punching his arm lightly.

“So what time do you take your pills?”

“Seven AM and Seven PM. Everyday.”

Mickey nods and Ian gives him a slightly wobbly smile as he watches him commit it to memory.

“Okay. What can I do to help?”

“Nothing, I got it under control. I just … I have to have a plan Mick. I know that’s gonna drive you crazy but I really can’t help it.”

Ian brings Mickey’s hand to his lips and kisses along the word ‘FUCK’ in four soft little pecks that brings a genuine smile to Mickey’s lips.

“Fine. I ain’t gonna want to talk with you about it all the time though. This shit is exhausting. You just tell me what we’re doin’ and I’ll roll with it.”

“As easy as that? You just deal with my bi-polar forever?”

Ian compresses his lips and draws in a shuddering breath trying desperately hard not to go completely to pieces or start laughing hysterically at how easy Mickey makes it all sound.

“It’s a part of you, Ian. Be like you not lovin’ me for having blue eyes. It’s what I got and shit all I can do about it.”

“I love your eyes.”

Ian smiles and shakes his head

“I know it’s who I am but it caused so many problems before ...”

“It was never me who had the problem with your diagnosis, man. You’re family. Would have taken a Hell of a lot more than being sick to make me quit you. In sickness and health, just like I told you.”

Ian stares at him, dumbfounded for a moment. He always saw what Mickey could be, he saw through the rough exterior and he knew there was more there but still ...

“Jesus Christ, Mickey! You’re like some sort of zen Guru! You’re like, Kev!”

“Fuck off! I’m smarter than Kev.”

Mickey lifts his eyebrows, mildly offended, and Ian laughs despite the massive damn lump in his throat.

“You really think this can work?”

“Yes.”

Short and sweet and absolutely fucking certain.

“Is there anything else you need to get off your chest today?”

“No.”

“You sure? Cause in a minute I am goin’ to get us a couple more beers and when I get back I want that mopey fuckin’ look off your face. So you got something else to say, say it now.”

Ian smiles, he loves it when Mickey is sweet to him but this is the tough guy he fell for and Ian will never be sorry to see this side of him. He considers for a moment

“Have you been with a lot of other guys?”

Ian blurts the question and immediately feels foolish but Mickey simply puffs his cheeks out, thinking.

“A few. One time I thought it was maybe going somewhere but it didn’t and I was fine with that.”

“Did you love him?”

“No. I been in love once, Ian. It wasn’t with him and you fuckin’ better know that.”

Mickey is deadly serious all of a sudden and Ian nods sheepishly. Tough guy indeed!

“I had a couple of boyfriends.”

“I figured.”

Mickey narrows his eyes, looking out toward the horizon.

“Do you want …”

“No. I don’t.”

Mickey tilts his head slightly and gives Ian a look from under his eyebrows, his mouth pinched a little tight. Ian nods and swallows, sniffs and slowly leans forward, pressing his forehead against Mickeys.

“Thank you and I’m sorry. I wish I could turn off my brain sometimes.”

“What is it with you and Mandy always fuckin’ apologising all the damn time? Is it a girl thing? Is it a gay thing? I don’t even fuckin’ know anymore.”

The exasperation in Mickey’s voice is only slightly exaggerated and Ian’s heart squeezes with love.

“Could be a red-head thing?”

“Yeah, maybe. I need a drink. Can I go and grab some beer now? You good?”

“I’m good.”

Ian nods and kisses the tip of Mickey’s nose.

“Good. Back in a minute.”

*

Mandy can see them as soon as she rounds the corner onto the beach strip. Her brother is sprawled at Ian’s feet whilst he is stood doing some sort of crazy ‘Titanic’ moment impression with his arms spread wide and tipped back.

She deliberately slows her pace, enjoying watching two of her favourite people in the world have some of the fun that they both clearly need. Ian strolls down to the water’s edge and Mandy can’t help but grin as Mickey dusts himself off and follows. It had been a risky coin-toss of a situation leaving them together like she had.

Mickey had clearly been working something out or he wouldn’t have used her as a damn human shield to put between him and Ian. Working out for Mickey normally involved a world class fucking temper tantrum followed by a ton of obnoxious posturing afterwards but he seemed to have himself pretty much under control by the time he got back, even if he was being a cocky asshole.

As for Ian, well, Mandy loved her best friend dearly, she would probably take a bullet for him if it ever came to it, but he could be a stubborn jerk when he wanted to be. He had clearly said something to set Mickey off and he either wasn’t aware of the effect he managed to have (which she doubted) or he hadn’t been entirely sure what to do about it (which was far more likely) and if that was the case, he just needed to figure it the fuck out.

However, from the way they were acting on the beach, Mandy is pretty confident they have things a little more worked out now. As she watches, Ian catches Mickey around the waist and half-drags, half-carries him into the sea. Mickey is waving his arms about, clearly trying to protect something in his hand, Mandy is too far away to see clearly but she would bet her right boob it is a cigarette.

Ian boosts Mickey up in his arms and Mandy can hear her brother’s voice, raised high in shock and alarm, spouting all sorts of threats that clearly do not phase Ian in the slightest as he wades out further. Mandy leans against the railing, close enough to see them clearly now and sighs happily.

There is no one in the world besides Ian who Mickey would let manhandle him this way. It is like Ian manages to strip away the layers of carefully constructed self-preservation and fierce control that her brother has wrapped around himself to get straight down to the playful, gentle soul that exists beneath.

“You drop me and … I swear to God! … Ian! …”

Ian is up to his own waist now and Mickey’s arms are wrapped around his neck

“DIVE BOMB!”

Ian roars and plunges them both into the blue. The water turns cloudy with churned up sand and water flies up into the air in a shower of crystal. Mandy covers her mouth, though she knows there is zero chance of them hearing her laughter.

She sees a flash of red and then Ian is up, spluttering and pushing his hair back from his head. He looks around grinning, but there is no sign of Mickey. He takes a few steps forward, looks around again and Mandy can see his smile turning into a mild panic.

“Mick? Mickey?!”

He yells, cupping his hands around his mouth, looking frantically left and right, turning in a full circle. Mandy lights a cigarette, gets out her iPhone, opens the camera, zooms in on Ian and waits.

There is a split second when the water stills and Ian looks absolutely fucking terrified and then he is being boosted into the air with a shriek that has Mandy choking on her smoke for its ridiculousness. As her thumb fans the camera button like a Spaghetti Western gunslinger, she captures Mickey erupting from the water grinning triumphantly, one arm wrapped around Ian’s thighs. She captures Ian’s stunned expression turning into a raucous laugh as Mickey launches him upwards and let’s go and she captures a very blurry image of Ian hitting the water, still beaming.

She puts her phone away as Ian chases Mickey out of the surf, his long legs making light work of the distance, tackling him down onto the sand and kissing him passionately - as if that isn’t what they have been doing since about five minutes after she left them alone together, Mandy thinks, rolling her eyes.

She sighs and wonders if all the flat surfaces in the bar will need bleaching before they let the customers in for the evening. A hand lightly rests on the small of her back and a slim, brown chin drops down onto her shoulder.

“Who’s that sucking Boss’s face off?”

Juan asks and Mandy shrugs nonchalantly

“His boyfriend.”

“Cool.”

Juan nods and stands up straight, trailing a finger up Mandy’s back.

“Wanna do the same thing but somewhere … a little more private?”

Mandy tips her head to the side and looks up at him through lowered lashes

“You worried my big brother will catch us being bad?”

“Nah, pretty sure I could marry you on the beach right now with a priest and my whole family there and he wouldn’t notice.”

Juan grins and Mandy rolls her eyes again.

“You know how I feel about marriage.”

“I’ll get you one day, baby. Just a matter of time.”

Juan links his fingers with hers and tows her back toward his flat and Mandy does not even pretend to resist.

*

“Good job you’re a decent kisser. That little stunt just cost me a nearly full pack of smokes and a pretty sweet lighter.”

Mickey, who has been patting his wet pockets and found them to be empty, gives Ian an accusing look before smiling against the next onslaught of kisses that cover his mouth.

“Forgiven?”

Ian grins down at him and Mickey catches the front of Ian’s shirt in his fist pulling him down.

“Gimmee one more… Mmm… yeah okay, forgiven.”

Ian rolls off Mickey and they lie on their backs, side by side squinting up at the bright blue sky, each occasionally turning to look at the other with soft, lazy smiles.

Mickey has his hands folded neatly on his chest and Ian slowly inches his own hand across. He feels Mickey’s gaze shift back to him as Ian slips his fingers under his palm and gently tugs it onto the sand between them.

He lifts his eyes to meet Mickey’s and sees that same clear blue stare of utter certainty and this time, Ian feels it too.