#can someone write this whole thing so I can just enjoy it
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💡 my first dr was a breakfast club dr and my main dr is currently a librarian dr. i made the switch because i forgot about shifting for a while to be honest and then when i got back into it i decided to make a whole new dr. i still love the breakfast club, i just wanted to start over again i guess? and make a new dr where i’m a librarian since i would be loving life if i was one.
🏷️ in my dr, my name is evelyn because i’ve always thought it was a pretty name
👜 my house is kinda cottagecore (?) i guess, that would be the best way i know how to describe it. i like houses with that kind of aesthetic so i went with that for a house. i have posters in my room and little things from antique stores as decorations. i haven’t decided yet if i have any roommates or anybody living with me, i’m on the fence on whether i want any or not. i would like the social aspect of it but at the same time i also like to have my own space so i’m not completely sure yet. my favorite aspect of my house would be the decorations because it would be decorated the way i would love to have my own space decorated and not have to worry about having to ask someone if it’s okay to have things where i want them.
🎞️ i don’t think there would be edits or a fandom for me since in my librarian dr. maybe in my singer one? but i haven’t thought much about it lol
🩰 my ootd for my librarian dr would be something dark academia aesthetic, like a sweater and either a skirt or pants because dark academia is my favorite aesthetic
🏛️ in my free time, i see, draw, read, color, knit, crochet, do quilting, bake, cook, play with my cat and dog. i spend time with friends, especially my best friends, and s/o. we go to the movies, zoo, aquarium, antique stores, basically anywhere
🗝️ i guess my most niche dr would be either my author dr or librarian dr, those are the only ones i can think of that could possibly be considered niche. i made my author dr because not only do i like reading but i would also enjoy writing books of my own. i made my librarian dr because again, i like reading and would love a job involving books.
📜 i wake up every day excited to go to work because i love being a librarian and come home at the end of the day to relax with my pets :)
🧳 normally when i do script i just write out bullet points in my notes app
author dr
* 22
* writing a series and some standalone books that take place in the same universe as the series, like how there’s heartstopper and then other books like nick and charlie and this winter
* have a black cat and golden retriever
* cottagecore house
* clothes are dark academia aesthetic
* have curtain bangs
* have similar hair to sabrina carpenter
* writes romantacy things
* some books involve dragons
* take walks during the sunset
* writes at a coffee shop / cat cafe
* spotify works good instead of dragging out spotify wrapped
* knit, crochet, sew, and play instruments and just dance during free time
* goofy socks and earrings
* love baking and just making food in general
♟️ my best friends in this reality are in my friend group in my dr and we met through having class together
🕰️ my favorite person in my family would probably be my sister. we have a close relationship and tell each other everything. she showed me how to do make up and explained things like that. my relationship with my mom is similar in that i also tell her everything. me and my dad usually make jokes together
🎻 a scenario that i have scripted and am excited for is getting to make all of the recipes that i’ve seen and have been wanting to make. i’ve seen different ones for different kinds of pasta, some for bread, and some with chicken that i’ve been excited to make in my dr. i’m also excited to make different kinds of desserts that sound good too
💼 i haven’t thought much about who i don’t get along with in my dr because i’ve mainly been focusing on who i do get along with and what i want to do in my dr lol. i guess i’ll figure out when i shift lol
🍨 my username would either be just my first name or something funny and i would mainly just post things i think are pretty :)
ᓚᘏᗢ﹐𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐟𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐬𝐤 𝐠𝐚𝐦𝐞. ⁞ ˎˊ˗
shifting ask game reblog for asks ↻ ‧₊˚.
i’m bored so here’s another ask game, i’ll try to ask to everyone who reblogs, as long as tumblr isn't too glitchy, but feel free to send asks to others
— 💡 : what was your first dr and what is currently your main dr? How and why have you made this switch?
— 🏷 : what is your name for your dr and why is that your name?
— 👜 : what’s your house look like? Do you have any roommates or people who live with you? What’s your favorite aspect of your house and why?
— 🎞 : what edits of you would there be in your dr? what is your fandom like?
— 🩰 : what is your OOTD (outfit of the day) for a dr and why?
— 🏛️ : what do you do in your free time? Who are you with? Where do you go?
— 🗝 : what is your most niche dr and why did you make it?
— 📜 : summarize your dr in a sentence
— 🧳 : what is your favorite way to script and share your favorite dr script
— ♟ : who’s in your friend group and how did you make this friend group?
— 🕰 : what’s your family like? Who’s your favorite person and what are your relationships with your different members?
— 🎻 : what is a fun scenario you have scripted and you excited for? (be detailed! :)
— 💼 : who is someone you don’t get a long with in your dr? Why?
— 🍨 : what are your socials like in your dr? Followers? Username? What do you post?
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watermelon.
icantbelieveiletyougetaway pt.3
pt1. here | pt.2 here | pt.3
joost klein x f! reader
tags: f! reader, non-famous! reader, reader still really needs to see a therapist, established friendship, angst angst and even more angst, did i mention angst?, tooth-rotting fluff, so fluffy it’s honestly a little cringe <3, all characters are dutch and speak in dutch but dialogue is written in english for obvious reasons.
word count: 3,494.
warnings: very brief + vague reference to SA, rpf.
notes: hello!! welcome to pt.3 <3 this is probably the part that i’m most proud of, probably because it weirdly hurt the most to write. a couple fun facts about this part: reader’s coat is heavily based on one i have in real life and absolutely adore. also, i genuinely couldn’t bring myself to touch this wip for two whole days because my personal life started to match up with this storyline and i did not like it! became a little too self-indulgent. anyways — enjoy!! lemme know what you think.
love you all lots 💋
── ⋆⋅ ♰ ⋅⋆ ──
in a lot of ways, the whole situation was more or less your own idea of hell — ironic, considering it all started with literally the worst night of your life.
not once did you ever think that you’d be here, that this was how things were gonna go. the fun part? you don’t even know how you got here in the first place. for someone so in the middle of it all, you know surprisingly little about what actually happened, or what you must’ve done wrong.
all that you know is that it’s different now. joost is different now.
you still text everyday, a few phone calls here and there, and you’ll see him in person a few times a month or more, but you can still feel it. the subtle lack of emotion in his messages, the only-ever increasing wait times in between responses, the missing details in his stories that you’d still end up hearing from your friends. something, at some point, shifted and joost just didn’t seem to be your joost anymore.
at first, you tried to think nothing of it. you weren’t exactly a stranger to anxiety; it’s always been just a little too easy for you to get lost inside your own head. this also wasn’t the first time that you had fallen down this rabbit hole, suddenly convinced that someone you love doesn’t even like you because they said something in a slightly different tone once.
but then those weird few days where things didn’t feel quite right turned into weeks, and it just didn’t feel like nothing anymore.
you thought it could’ve been the videos because, as predicted, entire montages of the fight found their way onto each and every little corner of the internet. joost could be seen clear as day swinging for him, landing punch after punch until one of his friends would eventually step in. though somehow, the backlash against joost never came. for every clip there was a ‘story-time’ to go right along with it, and every single one explained how joost was just defending ‘this girl that had been attacked by that guy.’
so instead you exhausted yourself asking if everything was alright, just in case there was something else going on that he also hadn’t told you. but there was only so many times that you could ask the same question over and over again, only to get the same answer back.
joost was fine; great even.
so it had to be you. nothing was wrong, nothing bad had happened, it was simply just you that had repelled him all of a sudden. and that was all you could think about whilst you sat in a room surrounded by your closest friends — joost included.
it was someone’s birthday, a friend of a friend who’s name was still unknown to you and yet somehow you still ended up with an invite. aspon was on your left, deep in a conversation with stuntje about some new anime you’d never heard of, and alanis was on your right, asking to see pictures of daan’s latest art piece.
you, of course, were there in between them all, just staring into space. all of the ice in your drink had melted as it sat forgotten about in your hands, and you were fairly confident that you had memorised each and every scratch in the wooden flooring. you were yet to find a better place to look other than the floor, because of course it was joost that had to be sat opposite you.
he had pulled the short straw really, because by the time he came back in from his cigarette outside, the only seat left was one of those awful, plastic fold-up chairs. like the others he too was wrapped up in a conversation of his own, only his included a girl that you’d never seen before, and he was making her laugh a lot.
you didn’t have a single right to absolutely despise what it was that you were seeing, but still your skin felt hot and itchy, and tears burned behind your eyes. despite arriving together in your group and being seated a measly three feet away from each other, joost was yet to even glance in your direction, let alone talk to you. the blatant avoidance was unbearable; the new ‘you’ that he was talking to was even worse.
but with the anger came the shame, because really, you had no excuse to be feeling like this. two strangers with mutual friends, talking with one another at a house party of all places, wasn’t exactly incriminating. they also weren’t touching or even flirting for that matter — from what you could hear, their conversation seemed limited to small anecdotes about the people in common they both knew.
you weren’t being fair, you weren’t being reasonable; there was no excuse for the tightness in your chest.
without a word, you got up and made a dash for the balcony; desperate for a cigarette. so desperate in fact, that you didn’t stop to grab your jacket despite the rain bashing against the windows. you just needed the fresh air, needed space away from whatever the fuck was going on in there.
the small roof that the balcony upstairs provided did little to shield you from the rain. your hair quickly fell damp around the sides of your face as the wind brought goosebumps to your arms. you really should’ve stopped to grab your coat, you were soaking now.
but the pure, unbridled relief that you felt when you breathed in the smoke of your cig made it all worth it, though. it was something else to focus on, something to help soothe all of your aches and pains. best of all, it gave you a reason to be by yourself for a while — a moment alone to think, to breathe, a chance to get a fucking grip.
you took another drag of your cigarette.
“think you forgot this, schatje.”
over the sound of the heavy-falling rain and the music from inside, you hadn’t heard the balcony door slide open and shut again.
from the corner of your eye you saw joost standing there, clad in a black gilet and the same adidas track-jacket that you had bought for him two birthdays ago. your coat was in his outstretched hands; a big, red furry thing that almost swallowed you whole every time you put it on.
“yeah…thanks.”
you wanted to cry.
the silence that followed was heavy and awkward; neither of you could even look at each other as you took your jacket from him and slipped it on. whilst you focused on looking outwards towards the skyline, blinking away any tears that threatened to spill, joost busied himself with lighting up a cigarette of his own. it felt like you were standing next to a stranger, and not someone who quite literally knew every single little thing about you.
someone who always picked up the phone when you called; someone whose bed you’ve woken up naked in just a few too many times to count.
“you, uh, you doing okay?”
you almost choked on your cigarette.
he’d barely even glanced your way all night, too distracted by other female attention to really care that you were there at all, and now he wanted to know how you were doing? oh he had to be joking.
you stubbed out your cig underneath your shoe and went to storm back inside, shoving past him with your shoulder as you did so. you had almost made it too, before he caught you by the arm and gently pulled you back. it really pissed you off how hurt he looked, like this wasn’t all his fault in the first place.
“hey, can we not just talk for a minute? i wanna know what’s been up with you recently. we don’t really talk anymore.”
as hard as you could you pushed him off of you, and then you pushed him once more for good measure. you couldn’t bite it back anymore, couldn’t keep it all from spilling out when your blood was already boiling. if you were to regret it in the morning, you would just blame it on the few drinks you’ve already had.
“and why the fuck do you think that is, joost? tell me.”
a small part of you that you really couldn’t quite understand, genuinely hoped that he would push you back. that he’d get all up in your face, yelling at the top of his lungs, just as angry with you as you were with him. you wanted him to shout, to scream at you about how wrong you were; you wanted to feel crazy for even thinking that something could ever go wrong between the two of you.
you didn’t want him to just…stand there with his tail tucked between his legs, looking like he had already given up on you a long time ago. you found yourself shoving him again, only hard enough to knock him back a step or two this time.
“tell me!”
now more than ever you wished that you could stay angry, that you knew how to hold onto the outrage instead of always just breaking down into pieces. it made you feel so small the way that your voice was cracking; your shouts quickly shrinking into cries. you felt like a child again, begging to understand why everyone always left in the end.
“i just needed to work some stuff out, okay? none of this was meant to happen. i never wanted to make you cry.”
you pressed the heels of your palms into your eyes, the state of your mascara becoming an afterthought, before raking your fingers through your hair. thin strands stuck to the corners of your face and the back of your neck.
“please, tell me what i can do to make it better.”
joost was panicking now, looking a lot like an old dog that somehow knew it was about to be left behind at the shelter. you could see it in the way his hands were shaking and how he couldn’t quite seem to stand still, shifting from one leg to another.
“you can tell me what happened; what changed or what i did wrong. i don’t care.”
from the look on his face, you never would have guessed that all you’d asked him for was the truth; ‘panicked’ was no longer the right word.
“i can’t. i promise, i’ll tell you later but i can’t tell you here. not like this.”
you laughed — you couldn’t help it. three months ago, when you asked him why he was so insistent on doing anything and everything for you, he gave you the exact same line. either he forgot that he’s already used it once before, or he thought you were stupid enough to fall for it all over again; either way, you knew now that ‘later’ was never coming.
before you really knew what you were doing, you were back inside and weaving your way through the small huddles of your friends. a few stared as you began to tread water through the house, a long line of watery footprints following behind you on your way out. you muttered a quiet ‘i’ll see you guys later’ to whoever was listening and in one smooth motion, grabbed your bag from one of the tables and disappeared through the front door, slamming it behind you.
no one tried to stop you. probably for good reason, too, because you could feel the makeup running down your face.
the only good thing to come from looking so sad and drenched from the rain was that nobody on the street stopped to bother you either. not many people were out in this weather anyway, so at most you felt their eyes on you as they passed, a look of pity on their faces. pity for a girl all dressed up for a nice night out, just to be walking home early in tears.
you didn’t want their pity, you just wanted to go home. you wanted your bed and your pyjamas. you wanted a nice warm shower and to try and forget that today ever fucking happened.
you didn’t want joost to be chasing after you.
you didn’t want to hear your name being yelled from down the street by the one person you didn’t want to see right now.
“cmon you always do this! stop running away from everything.”
that was the thing to get you; the one thing that made you stop and turn on the spot.
“oh i’m the one running away? you’re the one that left!”
you met him halfway with steam coming out of your ears, your hands trembling and nose all scrunched up. you were fuming and it seemed as though he was now, too.
“i never went anywhere! you’re making it sound like i disappeared off the face of the earth or something.”
“well that’s what it felt like! what about that don’t you understand?”
you were each taking turns yelling now, oblivious to how loud you were actually being. people were sticking their heads out of their living room windows, morbidly curious about the scene that was unfolding right outside their homes. those that walked by did double-takes and even contemplated getting their phones out to record.
“but i’m here now! and i was ‘here’ back there and you just ran away like you always do!”
“did you really expect me to just stand there and listen to you lie again? all this ‘oh i’ll tell you later’ crap, it’s just bullshit. ever since that night you’ve been different and if what that guy did to me changed how you see me then maybe you’re right, maybe we should stop being whatever the fuck we are.”
joost physically recoiled at your words, his entire demeanour changing to one of hurt.
“what are you..? schatje no, no, it’s nothing like that. fuck, please tell me you don’t really think that.”
how could you not? it was the only thing left for you to think. it wasn’t like you wanted to come to that conclusion or that it was the first one you jumped to, but joost never gave you any other choice. as much as it hurt, it was better than simply not knowing.
something died in him when you nodded — you saw it in his eyes. tears of his own spilled down his cheeks as he rubbed his hands up and down his face, wiping his nose with the inside of his elbow.
“i…i would never; that guy…that wasn’t your fault.”
“then tell me the truth, joost.”
all that adrenaline, all that energy from before was long gone. you weren’t two people arguing in the rain, full of love and anger like something straight out of a romcom anymore. you were just two people standing out in the cold, soaked to the bone, just trying to hold on for a little while longer.
you were still waiting for joost to say something, trying to prepare yourself for the worst. if he was to say that same shit again, that he couldn’t tell you now but would later on, that would be it for you. you’d walk away and not turn back again, not for anything; just like that it would be game over.
but joost wasn’t saying anything, and you couldn’t decide if that was any better or not. he was silent as he took a couple steps towards you, the palms of his hands suddenly cupping either side of your jaw. the pads of his thumbs wiped away all the tears and rain from your eyes and tucked the odd strands of hair behind your ears. not once did he glance away from your gaze, not once did he say something.
it was driving you crazy.
“joost?” you were pleading with him now, desperate for him to say something — do something. the way he was looking at you, it was like you were the only thing he could see. “say something.”
“i love you.”
you blinked, and all of sudden you weren’t quite sure what to do with your hands anymore. it wasn’t the first time joost had said that to you because he says it to everyone, every single one of his friends. but he had never said it to you like that before, with a look in his eyes so heavy you feared that they might fall right out of his head.
“what?” your voice cracked as you spoke. “i don’t understand…what?”
“i love you. that’s what changed.”
a headache was coming, you could feel it. right behind your eyes, you felt a twinge, and then a subtle thumping that made your eyebrows twitch. you just couldn’t wrap your head around it, and the more you tried to make sense of it the more your head hurt.
“i swear to god if this is a fucking joke, if you’re just making this up -”
he shut you up with a kiss.
it wasn’t exactly for the first time or even close to being so, but it felt as though it could’ve been; all soft, gentle, careful. the hands that held either side of your face did so as though you could’ve cracked and shattered at any second. he moved slowly, almost hesitantly, until he felt you turn into mush beneath him. only then did he pull away, a ghost of a smile lingering on his lips.
but you couldn’t let him have it though, could you? couldn’t just let him have the upper hand, just like that. you had to chase it, had to pull him down to your height by the collar of his jacket until your lips could meet his. by the time you were finished, both shaking and breathless, there were faint smudges of red all across his mouth.
“that was so hot; do it again.”
you laughed at his words for not the first time tonight, but now it was only out of pure joy instead of anything else. you laughed because of how out of it joost looked now, his eyes glossed over and lips parted ever so slightly as he panted. you laughed because of how much you did want to do it again and how you felt giddy knowing that joost wanted you to do it again too.
so you did. only this time joost was ready and pounced on you hard enough to knock you back a couple of steps, almost making you slip on the wet pavement. his fingers lost themselves in your hair, gently tugging at the roots as yours gripped onto the nylon of his jacket for dear life, too afraid to let go and risk letting him slip away.
you would have stayed like that with him all night if it wasn’t for the wolf whistle you heard from one of the windows above, followed by the rumble of thunder. the rain was starting to fall harder now, the storm only growing and you didn’t like knowing that people were watching you now.
“we shouldn’t be doing this here — people are looking.”
with his forehead resting against yours, joost simply groaned as he struggled to catch his breath. his hands still cradled the back of your head and his eyes were still squeezed shut.
“don’t care. need you.”
he may as well have been one of the puddles at your feet, the way he couldn’t even form proper sentences anymore. the things you were doing to him right now were criminal, almost cruel, and you were loving every minute of it. proud of it, actually. you might have been mush in his hands, but he was like putty in yours.
“well…maybe you should take me home then, yeah? then you can need me as much as you like.”
joost groaned again, muttering something about how you were ‘going to be the death of him’, and leaned back in. from your nose to your cheeks, to your chin, every inch was peppered with very sweet, very wet kisses.
“have i told you much i love you yet?”
he had, at least a handful of times by now, but not nearly enough as you would’ve liked. so you shrugged, a shit-eating grin plastered across your face as you did so, and stepped back, lacing your fingers with his.
“it’s okay, you can tell me one more time.”
apparently that was way too far for you to go, because after one singular step you were tugged back again and kissed as though joost’s very life depended on it. ironic, considering you were certain that you were both about to be struck by lightning at any moment.
“i love you.”
you figured if that were to happen by some chance, it’d be worth it if it meant staying here with him for just a little while longer.
“i love you too.”
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Game Of Love - Hwang Hyunjin SMAU
Chapter 11
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Masterlist
Warnings: Swearing, anxiety, Hyunjin loses his temper (wow what a surprise !!)
A/N: I love seeing you all write your conspiracies in the comments, it makes me to happy to see ppl intrigued in my story 👀 Written below the screenshots !!
You walked into your first shift feeling somewhat excited. Art had been one of your favorite hobbies for the longest. But as you endured your hardships during high-school, it was something that didn’t seem to bring light into your life anymore. Painting had been the one thing you missed the most, though. The way the bristles of the brush glided against the canvas was a long gone, yet euphoric feeling. Something about watching the trail of paint that followed the brush was relaxing. It was a stress reliever for you, and something that you’d wish to experience again. Preferably soon. On top of that, you’d not always been independent. Throughout your life, as your parents grew more and more absent, that was the time you had to learn how to live on your own. Not only did it cause more stress, but it left no time for your stress relieving hobby. Although it wasn’t a young age, it was still challenging as you were previously left to rely on people for your whole life. Nowadays, being independent was something you still struggled with, but when you did it you could feel a small flame ignite inside you. Another feeling that you missed often, but enjoyed. Hopefully, this job could help fuel that.
As your shift continued, you couldn’t help but feel excited. Not only because you were back in a place that used to bring you so much happiness, but also because of Seungmin. Thinking back to his messages left your heart to flutter. The clock grew nearer and nearer, and you couldn’t help but eagerly wait for 4:00 P.M. to hit. Except, all that excitement crashed down the moment the door opened. You looked up as the bell chimed to see none other than Hwang Hyunjin. A feeling of uneasiness and slight anxiety immediately sparked inside of you. This was something that several people had warned you about. Hell, you should’ve expected it yourself. Both yours and Hyunjin’s passion for art was something that was strong, it was something you shared. Well, used to share.. It’s not like you doubted Jeongin’s words, you had expected to run into him. But not this soon, you hadn’t mentally prepared yourself for this yet.
You could feel your chest tighten as your eyes scanned his figure, he hadn’t noticed you yet. Was it too late to book it out the back? But then you’d be risking your job. Your job that you desperately needed. With a deep breath, you spoke and decided to treat him like any other customer. “Can I help you find anything.” Hyunjin’s moves came to a sudden hault. You could’ve swore you saw his grip tighten around nothing, his knuckles growing white. His eyes made contact with yours. There was something about his gaze, his piercing gaze that shot chills down your spine. The fake smile you had plastered on didn’t last long. It soon faded as you fidgeted with the keychain that dangled from your belt loop behind the counter. Your body was now filled with anxiety. Thankfully, the door opening tore both of your eyes away from each other. Your eyes trail back to the door where Felix had just followed in. ‘Thank god.’ was all you could think.
“Oh hey Y/N!” The blonde greeted you, earning a glare from the taller male that stood next to him. However, it had gone ignored. With a subtle swallow, you greeted back. “Hey Felix. Did you need help finding anything?” But before Felix could answer, a certain someone had beat him to it. “We’re fine, thanks.” Your body tensed up at Hyunjin’s harsh tone. It was the first time he’d talked directly to you, and not spat insults over text. Hyunjin quickly made his way behind a shelf to avoid having to see you, dragging his friend with him. That of who shot you a sympathetic look. As they disappeared out of sight briefly, you exhaled a sigh of relief glancing back at the clock. Ten minutes was going to end up feeling like an eternity. Anxiously as time passed, your fingers tapped against the glass shelf by the checkout counter. Although he was still in the store, he was out of sight. That alone managed to ease your nerves a bit. It was until you heard that harsh tone, once again. “Where are the oil paints?” Glancing up, your eyes met once again with Hyunjin’s. It briefly took you back to high-school. You remember looking into his eyes and seeing nothing but a soft look. One filled with safeness, you saw love and affection in his eyes.
However, all you could see now was pure hatred. You weren’t sure why, but your heart ached a little at that thought. Eventually, you mustered up the courage to respond. “Uhm, depends what brand.” His eyes narrowed,
“What?”
“It.. depends what brand. They’re on the shelf over there.” You gestured. “But.. If you’re wanting a more high end brand then I’ll have to grab it from the back..” The words softly and cautiously fell through your teeth. You’d not had a physical conversation with Hyunjin in years. Surprisingly to you, his voice was the same. It hadn’t changed, and the more you observed about him the more pain you felt in your heart.
You two were so good together, why did things have to end up this way?
“So?” He spat out harshly. You were left utterly confused with his question, still keeping your guard up. “So… what?” You retaliated back at him, except you kept a nicer tone. You made a point to not piss him off more. He crossed his arms, “You know what brand I use, or did our relationship just mean that little to you.” That specific statement left both you and Felix frozen, along with a thick tension in the air. You inhaled shakily, there was no way he was doing this right now; right? After all these years? “You know what, let’s go Hyunjin-“
“It’s okay Felix.” Turning to the blonde who had now haulted his attempt to drag Hyunjin away before he could make it any worse. Slowly, you watched his grip loosen and soon release from Hyunjin’s arm who meanwhile, was stiff and filled with hatred. Your head turned back to Hyunjin. “To put it simply, I made a point to forget everything about us after we broke up. It wasn’t worth remembering.” Truthfully, that was not the case. You still knew and remembered every little detail about him, whether you wanted it or not. His favorite brand, his favorite color and food. You even remembered the name of the cologne he used. In fact, you could smell it. It was like he planted a seed with his DNA in your heart. It was an unshakeable and painful feeling. Even so, you stood your ground and watched as his face grew red. Out of anger or embarrassment? You’d never know.
You kept a firm ground, your eyes glaring back into his. Hyunjins eyes glanced back and forth between you, and the shelf that held the oil paints which he had some how overlooked. Likely due to the anger he could feel when he heard your voice. And as if it couldn’t have been better timing, the door opened once again. You quickly looked away, finding any excuse to break eye contact. This time, it was Seungmin who walked in, and you couldn’t help but let a smile creep onto your face. “Hey, Seungmin.” You stepped out from behind the counter, making your way over blissfully unaware that Hyunjin’s eyes had followed you. “I thought we were going out after my shift?”
‘Going out?’ Hyunjin thought. His eye twitched at the thought of one of his childhood friends and his ex dating. Anger began to boil inside him. You surely hadn’t meant anything romantic by the term ‘going out’ right? Then again, why should he care? Maybe because it felt like a stab in the back. Not from you, but from Seungmin. Someone he had put all his trust into for years. Felix immediately recognized the problem and tension at hand, “Let’s go Hyunjin, we’ll come back later.” He muttered quietly, successfully dragging him out of the store this time, leaving you and Seungmin alone. Except you were completely unaware that a new problem had been created.
Felix had decided to take him next door to the cafe they both worked at, sitting him down at a table in the corner which was somewhat tucked away. Hyunjin was mad, irritated, livid. He was pissed, and it showed. “Fucking bastard.” The words fell from his mouth as he ran his fingers to the middle of his scalp, tucking his head away as he acquired a tight grip on the strands of his hair. It wasn’t long before the shorter male noticed his knuckles turning white. “That’s not healthy Hyunjin, quit it.” With felix’s words and the way his hands grabbed onto Hyunjin, he was able to pry his fingers away from his hair. “Remember what your therapist said-“
“Felix I don’t give a fuck what the therapist said.” He snapped, head now tucked in his hands. Luckily, Hyunjin was quiet, but that didn’t erase the sharpness in his tone. “I don’t fucking go there anymore so it really doesn’t matter.”
“Okay well you need to.” His tone was now sharp as well. The black haired male raised his head to glare at his friend. “Not you too, that shits fucking stupid.” He leaned back in the chair as he crossed his arms. He was going through so much and all anyone cared about was sending him back to therapy? He scoffed at the thought. Felix couldn’t help but sigh at Hyunjin’s behavior. Despite how frustrated he was, he kept his composure. “It’s not stupid, Hyunjin. There’s a reason you went in the first place and-“
“Okay well drop it! I’m not going back and you can’t force me!” His voice grew louder as he raised out of his seat, now attracting attention despite being tucked away at a corner table. Except all Felix could do was stare up at him, unable to care about the stares they may be receiving. His face showed nothing but pure irritation towards him. Hyunjin then happened to catch a glance outside the cafe window. There you and Seungmin were. Hands interlocked as he leaned over to whisper something in your ear. All he could do was sit and watch at how you giggled at whatever he whispered to you. That did it for him, pushing the chair over and storming off to what Felix could only assume to be the break room despite not being on the clock. His eyes shut at the racket of the chair hitting the floor. The blonde took a deep breath before standing up to pick it up. He glanced up at one of his co workers, apologizing for the noise before going behind the counter himself after Hyunjin.
Meanwhile, you and Seungmin were unaware of the conflict. Well, Seungmin was to an extent.. “Seriously Seungmin, I appreciate the gesture but you didn’t have to pick me up from work.” Seungmin’s lips curved into a smile before parting, giving you a glimpse of his perfect teeth. His fingers finding their way in between yours. “It was nothing, seriously. Besides..” He trailed off before leaning down to whisper in your ear. “More time with you.” His breath was warm, despite the somewhat cold fall air nipping at your skin. Heat rose to your cheeks and you couldn’t help but giggle. “Well then, glad to know I’m fun to be around.” Your eyes briefly looked up before looking back down. A breath of air escaped from your lips as a thought crossed your mind. Your smile turning into a purse of your lips. It was a comfortable silence of you lost in thought, and Seungmin successfully managing to take in every single one of your features without being noticed.
“What you thinking about? Seems like you’re lost in thought..” He said as he started to lead you by one hand along the sidewalk. Your eyes looked up to meet his as you walked. There was a question that was unanswered to you. Yet, it was one that could possibly backfire against you, or you receiving an answer you didn’t want. Eventually, you found the will to ask. “Where do you think this is leading..” Seungmin stopped and you did the same as you came to a cross walk. The screen signaling for you to wait. His eyes narrowed in confusion. “Where is what leading?” Seungmin’s body turned to face yours. “I mean.. us? This..” You trailed off as you gestured to your interlocked hands, earning a chuckle from him. “Well…”
He started and took a brief pause before continuing. Yet this brief paused seemed to last for hours. Part of you wanted to be more with him, to put a label on you guys. But another part of you felt differently.. Before you could decipher what that feeling was, he gave you your answer. “Whatever you want us to be..” His head tilted as he looked down at you. A smile tugged at both of your lips simultaneously. Unfortunately, the moment was then ruined by the screen changing, letting pedestrians know it was their turn to walk.
As the evening continued, that conversation and his confusing(?) answer was pushed to the back of your mind. What did you want? Hell you didn’t even know yourself. Every relationship since Hyunjin had done nothing but damage you internally. You swore when you were with Hyunjin that there would be no one better than him. Did you want to risk heartbreak again, or worse? Better question, why was your guys relationship still on your mind. You should’ve been over him a long time ago, in your eyes. All these questions raced through your mind as the night came to a close, and Seungmin walking you from his car to your doorstep. Before you could reach for the handle, he stopped you. “So.. you never gave me an answer.” He said in a somewhat serious tone. “What do you mean?” You cocked your head to the side. He smiled before softly asking the question you knew was coming.
“What do you want us to be?”
You froze, looking up at him. “I wasn’t aware you asked..” You teased as he chuckled, running a hand through his hair. His brown eyes still visible even with the shadow casted from his hair. You observed them, they were filled with a look of safety, affection, and something else you couldn’t quite decipher yet. Whether it was the heat of the moment, or maybe you had internally decided an answer, next thing you knew you leaned up. Briefly, you pressed your lips to his. And as you pulled back, you noticed a look of what seemed to be uncertainty in his eyes. You then questioned if it was a mistake. Anxiety ran through your veins. Did you fuck up?? But even with these doubts racing through your head, you questioned him. “Does that answer your question?” A smile falling upon both your faces as he chuckled. “I think it does.”
Now, it was his turn to initiate. Seungmin’s lips found their way back to yours. His hands gently grabbing your waist to pull you a bit closer. His touch was gentle, welcoming. So welcoming your arms snaked up around his neck. He tilted his head as he deepened the kiss. You only had to have been there for about 30 seconds but it felt so much shorter. As he pulled back, you had wished it lasted a bit longer. “Goodnight, yn.” He hesitated but let his arms return back to his side, you doing the same. As you parted ways, bid your goodnights and headed upstairs to your room, you couldn’t help but think. It had only been two short months, but you felt a spark with Seungmin. It was a different spark. A lot of different feelings crept their way into your heart with Seungmin, it was almost worrying. Almost…
Should it have been worrying? Maybe? But you couldn’t find it in yourself to care right now. For once you weren’t thinking about school, your parents, or even Hyunjin. You were distracted, and that’s all you cared about. All you could hope is for things to remain this way, if not blossom into something better. Something more
but we all don’t get what we want…
taglist: @rylea08 @estella-novella @gabriellamarie @elqivxstxr @4ln-stay8 @lostgirlinthewoodss @hwashua-luv @linavc @yaniluvs @ddroh @writtingrubberducky @vegetablesarefuntables @lixies-favorite-cookie @emilywjinnie
#stray kids#skz#skz x reader#skz imagines#skz smau#stray kids smau#bang chan#changbin#hyunjin#lee know#stray kids x reader#felix#han#seungmin#jeongin#hyunjin x reader#skz texts#stray kids texts#ateez#stray kids comfort#stray kids fake texts#hyunjin smau#hyunjin texts
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I always repeat it but I truly love the way you write Leona ☹️ you portray not only his personality but also his inner thoughts and how he processes information around him so well... I love all your writings but specially your Leona related works (sorry for being very much biased)
I hold your Leona interpretation so close to my heart 🤲💛 I often see a lot of mischaracterization (and I kind of get it- he's hard to decipher sometimes), so seeing such a good portrayal that I feel encapsulates his whole being is so important to me ☹️☹️
[Not sure if this is feedback in response to a particular writing piece I did, but just in case, this Leona interaction was the most recent one before receiving this ask.]
cbjddbwkkeoqhd Thank you!! I try to do the same thing Yana did when first conceptualizing the Twst characters… I try to put myself in their shoes and wonder what it must be like to be them in a given situation. The example Yana provided in one interview was something along the lines of, The poison apple didn’t want to be poisonous, but the Evil Queen forced it to. How did that make the apple feel? I want to think about not only how someone would speak, but also about their body language, their thoughts, their emotions, previous interactions in similar scenarios, their life experiences, their goals, their strengths and their flaws, how those can color their perception of others and the world--everything that makes up a character! I also aim to make my dialogue distinguishable, even if there's no name attached to it. If you can swap out several other character's names and the dialogue still works, then the intended character's voice isn't coming through strong enough and I rewrite it from scratch. If I write "You've earned my brother's respect," that's not good enough for me. It has to be “Oh, would you look at that. You’ve gone and earned my dear onii-sama’s respect and admiration. How good for you," to properly convey Leona's sarcasm and haughtiness.
The Twst characters are all very complex and multifaceted (particularly those we're given the most detailed backstories about *stares at the OB boys*), and there's also tons of content to comb through between the all the characters, main story, vignettes, events, and additional materials (interviews, art books, mangas, light novel, etc.). As a result, it can be easy to overlook elements of a particular character or to simplify/condense characters--either making them the extreme of being too cruel or the other extreme of being too kind--to make them easier to write. It takes time to nail that characterization, so I encourage my fellow writers to keep trying ^^
To speak a little more about writing Leona! It's honestly hard because you have to balance his arrogance with his lack of motivation and his depression-like beliefs about himself without whiplashing between those components. He's also very intelligent, and those kinds of characters can be difficult to do, especially for inexperienced writers. Leona works in subtle ways to get what he wants, and you have to find a way to communicate that between himself and the reader, but not give away what he's scheming to the other characters involved, who are not in his headspace. Then, of course, there's that whole ongoing debate about whether Leona would treat women significantly "better" than men (which is a topic worthy of a whole separate discussion post; I won't get into that here since it would elongate this post by a ton)... There's several things to consider when writing him. If you enjoy my interpretation of Leona, then that makes me happy ^^ I genuinely do put forth a lot of effort to capture the characters in my writing, so it's nice when those efforts are recognized.
#twisted wonderland#twst#disney twisted wonderland#disney twst#Leona Kingscholar#notes from the writing raven#feedback for the writing raven
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You are absolutely correct to point this out. Tagging @glisten-inthedark because this feels like something you'll enjoy. The whole "7 years aren't as long for a god as for a human" thing aside, this just beautifully shows how differently they view each other.
To Odysseus, Poseidon was never more than just another obstacle to getting home. A much more competent, dangerous obstacle than any other, but still just an obstacle that he had no particular or special feelings toward beyond, "I have to avoid this guy." Then he spends 7 years at Calypso's and naturally forgets all about Poseidon because he just doesn't assume that Poseidon would care about him that much either.
... But Poseidon does. And that's the beautiful irony of it all ... To Poseidon, Odysseus is so much more than just a mortal who blinded his son that one time; if the Vengeance saga proves anything, it's this. Think about it—he doesn't mention Polyphemus at all anymore in this saga. Instead, he admits straight out that he's avenging "his reputation"—a fancy way of saying, "I'm hunting you for myself and my own reasons now."
And he does. He waited for him—not because of his son but because of himself. Because he does feel something for Odysseus as a person, be it hatred, indignation, or something entirely else. Whatever it is, it's personal for him, and for him alone.
He cares so much about being the one to kill him that he waits for a decade (even if that's only akin to, like, 10 weeks or something for a god, that's still 10 weeks of camping in front of someone's house to get their attention!) I don't think anyone would shame or fault him for letting Odysseus live anymore either, like I've seen some people say, especially since it was Zeus' decree that Odysseus be released.
No, Poseidon waited for Odysseus because Poseidon wanted to wait for him. Poseidon remembered Odysseus because he was "something" to him, as opposed to Odysseus, who just straight up forgot or assumed he got bored and/or had better things to do with his immortal life (a very fair assumption, honestly.) The fact that Poseidon didn't get bored and didn't have better things to do with his life tells us so much about his character that I could write a whole essay on it ... I've covered parts of it in my Get In The Water analysis and also this lil thing, but I might write a full essay on this someday.
And that's the beautiful, poetic, almost ... tragedy of it all since it's so clearly one-sided: Odysseus feels nothing—no hatred, no attachment, not even enough to consider he might still be after him—whereas Poseidon feels ... everything? A lot, at least.
It's literally a case of "the opposite of love isn't hate (or the other way around, either work); it's indifference." Odysseus is indifferent. But what you, dear god of tides, have is a very serious case of obsession. You might want to—oh, no, he can't hear me; he's passed out on some rock shore, bleeding profusely. We can only hope that being defeated, humiliated, and confronted with his vulnerability in this manner didn't only deepen his obsession. Why do I have a bad, bad feeling about this though ...
My favorite thing in Epic that we don't talk enough about is that during the Circe and Thunder sagas, Odysseus was pretty much aware that Poseidon was after him. But in Vengeance saga, considering his reaction at Poseidon's appearance in "Get in the Water", he kinda thought that Poseidon must've forgotten and let go until that time. BUT HE DIDN'T. THE MAN WAS OBSESSED WITH ODYSSEUS FOR SEVEN YEARS
#epic the musical#epic the vengeance saga#odysseus#poseidon#epic poseidon#epic musical#epic odysseus#see this is exactly why i am so drawn to this ship in a purely one-sided way#how is it like 90% canon#odysseus x poseidon#poseidon x odysseus
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Heyyyy I really love your writing and I think it fits the members very well
I am not sure if you do these types of request but are you okay with writing headcanons on Jeonghan's personality? Like just his personality in general? Are you okay with adding some spicy (I didn't know which other word I was supposed to use) ones at the end? How would he be like? I am a very weird person and I love analysing people's personality and jeonghan happens to be my main interest these days lol. You can do it through tarot if you want!! You of course know better than me lol and I am completely alright if you don't wanna do my request. I will still love you lol
helloo!! u r def not weird at all!! as a psychology major bb i also love analyzing ppl :)))) — i won't work with tarot for now bc next year im planning on open requests just for it. one more thing I've done tarot in their persona in bed over here !
Jh's personality – headcanons
WARNINGS: mdni under the cut, descriptive and mention of sexual subjects
jeonghan gives me best friends vibes... he looks calm, almost indifferent, but he just looks like he loves to peep with you, to talk for hours and go grab meals together. he reminds me of family.
you know his lives just eating, joking around and talking... that's exactly how he is with his friends. obviously, he's more reserved because it's with us, but i feel he is all out with his friends. that one friend that literally doesn't know when to stop the teasing and goes overboard, but it's funny nonetheless... especially when he's drunk.
prefers to do meetings at his home with homemade barbecue and beverages. or going to a restaurant with his close friends. not the club type 100%. he likes the introspective meetings.
cocky and flirty for fun :/
so so so so caring!!!!!! the type of person you'd choose to say your deepest secrets and ask advice. hears you closely, gives you comfort, and tries to help you how he can. he will even make sure to check up on you for the next days, make a joke or two to light up your mood.
he's love language is probably acts of service.
don't ever pick up a fight with jeonghan... he's that type of scary that nothing bothers him until it does. his words get assertive, and he's not afraid of saying what he has to.
something makes me believe jeonghan is protective with his friends. he will speak up if he's in a situation that makes any of his friends or anyone really uncomfortable. when there's something you tell him, he not necessarily picks a fight but encourages you to do what you should, would that be cut someone toxic from your life or doing what you want.
Spicy Thoughts
kinky!!!! KINKYYY!!! he will be honest with his wantings and desires with you, you will know what he wants to try, and he's hoping you're wanting too. communicative as hell, we love it.
jeonghan isn't quiet. man trying to contain himself?? not him!! he moans, groans, dirty talk, grunts, the whole package bb. you're making him feel good, and he wants you to know.
a switch and open for anything.
sex drive high and horny. when i say he's open for anything, i mean it... he's up for anything!! will not always be penetrative sex, you want to get on your knees and suck him, fine, let's do it. want to make out, grind and cum on your panties, he's up to. just finger you and make you cum on his tongue, okay... let's do that.
not the type to enjoy lazy or slow sexy, he likes raw, sweaty, and nasty sex.
im sorry, but i do believe he'd go to strip clubs. i feel like sex is a need for him, like a healthy need, you know what i mean? so if he's not with someone, he'd would satisfy that paying for it.
a tease, baby!!! prepare yourself for overstimulation, sensory play, and orgasm denial. he's up to make you cum many times 🙂↕️ you're getting sore and sensitive next morning.
jeonghan is not aggressive. he's ok with accessories, handcuffs, blindfolds, anything, he's just not causing you any physical pain.
#was wannabelife#boofeine inbox#boofeine inbox: jeonghan#seventeen#fanfic#svt x reader#svt headcanons#seventeen smut#svt smut#jeonghan#jeonghan smut#jeonghan x reader
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Confession abt fanfic tht u can delete or post whenever
I fully do not finish a fic if too many words r used incorrectly, example: literally writing "know one" when the sentence very clearly calls for it to b "no one" idk there r more examples but I've just noticed this happening more & more & it's getting to me bc my brain is soup due to anxiety & other life things so this stuff ends up confusing me & bc of tht I end up not enjoying or understanding the fic...
I think that having a “fanfiction ick” (or ten) is totally valid! While I don’t believe in leaving unwelcome criticism in comments, in public, anywhere an author can see, etc. as readers, we’re going to have things that make our brain frustrated or annoyed. Sometimes they’re even enough to make us unable to continue on in a story!
It kind of sucks that most icks are just from when someone is in desperate need of a beta reader. Not every person with a great imagination and storytelling ability has perfect grammar and mastery of the English language (hell, I don’t either!)
Generally, the things I’ve seen put off many readers from fics are: no paragraph breaks, lapslock, jarring punctuation, frequent misspellings/incorrect phrases, too much/too little dialogue, run-on sentences, rough/no overall editing, unclear visual descriptions.
And while some of those complaints are subjective, many are just because another set of eyes didn’t read through the fic first! Beta readers are an incredible resource, but also in short supply at times.
Sorry, didn’t mean to make this a whole thing. I just feel bad when authors have given their best effort and it’s “not enough.” Nobody is obligated to read anything that doesn’t bring them joy or entertainment, but writers also shouldn’t be discouraged because the difference between an “unreadable fic” and a “masterpiece” may just be a solid beta reader!!!
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Never Meet Your Hero... You Might Fall in Love
For @starkerfestivals Bingo G1 | Youtubers
The interviewer smiles out over the audience brightly and points to someone. "Yes, you!"
"Hi, um- I was just wondering what got you inspired to start your channel?" a young teen asks.
Peter smiles. This is his favorite question. It's still a little surreal that he's sitting at Twitch Con having a meet-and-greet panel. What is his life?
"I grew up watching Tony- Iron Man, you know? All the games he's played, I've seen every one. And it's cheesy but he's sort of my hero, and I just wanted to be like him. So I gave it a shot and I got lucky enough to take off,"
"Have you ever met him?" the interviewer asks.
"No," Peter blushes, hoping he doesn't look ridiculous. "He doesn't go to events and the few he has- with me being in England, I've just never been in the right place at the right time,"
"Well, today might just be that day. Can we get Tony out here?"
"Wh- what?" Peter gasps, swiveling in his chair towards where she's pointing.
An enormous cheer erupts from the crowd, and Peter's heart nearly stops beating. Walking on to the stage in all his unfairly sexy glory is the man he's looked up to (and had a MASSIVE crush on) for years. He gives a dazzling smile and waves to the crowd before turning to Peter like he's known him for years.
And just like that, the massive crush turns into totally head-first falling off a cliff in love.
#youtubers au#stories by papermacherainbow#moodboards by papermacherainbow#sfsummerbingo24#meet cute#no powers au#minecrafter Peter#variety gamer Tony#can someone write this whole thing so I can just enjoy it#please and thanks
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3.13 | ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴀꜱᴛ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ʟᴏʀᴅꜱ
link to the post I accidentally wound up prattling endlessly about in the tags 💀
#doctor who#tenth doctor#martha jones#david tennant#freema agyeman#(good god. without even meaning to I went into 'psycho stream of consciousness tagging' mode. whoops)#always thinking of that one post#where OP mentions how the writing tries to make it seem like Ten looked right through Martha/etc#which is a good concept for demonstrating his grief. but also isnt what we really see throughout S3#(not saying he wasn't a grieving MESS because he was. but he's a multi-faceted character and he can grieve AND value Martha simultaneously)#but we see such fierce protective instinct+trust; a bond between them that obviously isn't some one-sided affair#+ his clear intent to impress her/be admired and respected by her (apropos the post that inspired this sentiment)#but RTD obviously isn't the most infallible of writers#*cough* [list of reasons I cut down b/c long] *cough*#He can make Martha say “he's not seeing me/he doesn't look at me” but then you just watch with your eyes and you get a different story#It's like the opposite of when Moffat tries to make you believe someone is super important through bold claims without showing his work#instead RTD tries to make you believe Ten is functionally blind to Martha's existence while showing numerous examples of the contrary#then bring in the novels+myspace blog+cartoon that he all signed off on. Which tie together to create a canon backdrop#basically I said all of that to say this—#it's the whole reason I had to make this blog to get this sort of stuff off my chest (even if it's just for me sometimes)—#Ten not only SAW Martha—he trusted+respected+enjoyed+adored her. And it's a good thing#it doesn't cheapen his grief. I feel like people must think it does which is why I constantly see bad unnecessary takes about them#it just means that Martha was SO important to him and it's ok. they had a killer friendship outside the unrequited minutiae and it's ok#there's even a comic where 'someone' makes him believe she's Martha and he makes her change her appearance because “it's still too raw”#Just saying you don't say that sort of thing about someone whose existence you're all blasé about#Martha already gets fucked by the narrative in enough ways without people totally missing her significance in the Doctor's life#you don't have to ship them to appreciate them on a deeper level#anyway. fuck. if you actually read all of these then I'm so sorry#creating this blog has taught me that there are only like two people who feel the same way about tenmartha matters and it’s fine 😂#but if I didn’t give myself an outlet it would probably form a tumor SO there we are then
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Things that happened in Martyn & Cleo Double Life canon:
Cleo hoping to find her soulmate and start a life with them
Cleo dumping Martyn without giving him a chance to explain his side of the story, but hearing him out when he comes to her later
Martyn watching Cleo through his spyglass and telling the audience she seems safe and happy even though he thinks it's weird she's outside at night
Martyn, after he's had time to consider how he wants to play this, spinning a story about trying to be a provider for her and Cleo explaining that she wanted him, not things
Cleo not being remotely impressed by the "I was providing" sob story, lol
Martyn calling Cleo selfish for choosing to be with Scott because she's supposed to be HIS soulmate and he wants a partner
Cleo willing to forgive Martyn if he meets them halfway
Martyn refusing to meet them halfway because he doesn't think he did anything wrong
Martyn screaming about how Cleo's building bridges with Scott but "When will she think about mending our bridges???"
Martyn explaining to Cleo that he doesn't understand why his Session 1 actions bothered them
Martyn centering his character arc and roleplay on trying to win Cleo back without actually apologizing
Cleo giving Martyn a flower and stating that if he loses it, she'll be real cross with him
Cleo chasing Martyn out of her yard because he tried to put an HOA sign on her base and she wanted to make it clear that she wasn't associated with them and their hate for his base (even though she does think his heart base is strange)
Martyn attacking Cleo after she said attacking is a form of affection to her
Cleo setting boundaries with Martyn and explaining what he can do to get her back
Cleo sighing when Scar set her up on a date with Martyn, but taking the chance to talk to him instead of walking out
Cleo genuinely wanting Martyn in her alliance
Martyn and Cleo giggling constantly when they chat
Scar asking if Martyn wanted him to play a romantic music disc for him and Cleo (and Martyn getting excited and saying yes)
Martyn offering to take Cleo's armor and weapons to the deep dark so he can enchant them and bring them back while she stays safe
Cleo gifting Martyn diamonds, expecting nothing in return but not wanting him to die from lack of a good sword
Martyn and Cleo forming a secret alliance that allows Cleo to live with Scott while being on good terms with Martyn
Martyn expressing frustration that Cleo wants to keep this alliance secret because he wants them to be public allies; Cleo softly shushes him when people approach and might overhear
Martyn telling Cleo that she's putting out a lot of mixed signals because she keeps reeling him in and then pushing him away, claiming he is very confused about where he stands with her
Martyn teasing Cleo by punching her off a cliff and accidentally killing her and feeling so bad about it that he apologizes profusely despite roleplaying as someone who refused to apologize for Session 1
Martyn and Cleo immediately threatening Bdubs together when he said hi to them while they were hanging out, sdkfj
Martyn genuinely apologizing to Pearl for dumping her after Session 1
Martyn hiding under Cleo's bed while she defends him from an enderman attack
Cleo offering to let Martyn move into her house after Etho and Joel grief his base; Martyn saying he might take her up on that
Cleo and Martyn agreeing to move out and base together at Box
Cleo trusting Martyn with the location and resources of her red life base
Martyn rushing to Cleo's aid in the deep dark and trying to turn everyone against him instead
Cleo responding to Martyn's panicked shouts for her to eat by opening her inventory to get food (and drowning because she forgot she was in water)
Cleo hanging back and letting Martyn attack Scott while she does nothing to stop him from doing so, implying as much as she likes Scott, she won't kill Martyn (and herself) for him (and/or she trusted Scott to handle himself even though he ran away while Martyn was shooting at him)
Things that did not happen:
Cleo unwilling to forgive Martyn or consider being his friend and partner
Martyn and Cleo hating each other
Thank you for coming to my TED Talk
#Listen. listen. I understand. but consider... them#Zombiewood#ZombieCleo#Martyn InTheLittleWood#Limited Life canon: Cleo making Martyn godfather to her kids#I 100% support everyone taking their own interpretations from the episodes-#but I often see ''Martyn and Cleo hate each other'' and I wonder ''Did we even watch the same thing?''#and with so many POVs that only see them from the outside perhaps we did not!! So consider... them. Let's rotate them <3#This post is about the sheer amount of 'Martyn dumps Cleo for Ren' fics tagged Martyn/Cleo vs. minimal affectionate fics. help??#also fics where Martyn/Mumbo was canon but Martyn claims he was never attracted to him- only Ren?? Fascinating.#sir can the whole plot be about that because hold up I feel like we should unpack your loveless marriage before you date Ren#I will 100% read a story about you charging into marriage with Mumbo and then going ''Uh I just made a big mistake.'' hilarious#I mean I'm not Ren but if my crush confessed he never loved his husband in the first place I feel like I'd have Questions#To each their own! And I for one greatly enjoy how much Martyn will chase Cleo without humbling himself. lol. idiot. get wrecked.#but just to be clear I am a huge fan of break-up 'fics and choosing to be with someone you want. ergo my interest in Grian/BigB#This post is about Martyn/Cleo and Grian/BigB being fandom rarepairs despite having canon interest in each other#which is 100% fine because everyone should write what they want but!! Come rotate them with me because they are so fun and silly#Grian the man who deliberately cuts comments about Grian/Scar and Martyn/Mumbo from his vids but pursues BigB?? hilarious#In-universe this man went from ''Romance? I do not see it'' to ''Actually I want the cute cookie man'' and took the leap??#Yes king tell me more about this journey of self-discovery. I am aspec-beam'ing you.#Anyway. Need more Martyn/Cleo in my life which is why I'm writing fics of that and other people write fics about what they like <3#but sometimes people don't like it when I pair Martyn and Cleo because ''They hate each other'' and I laugh sfdlkj
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BUT IM NOT A WRITER. something strange possessed me to write my first proper fanfic in maybe a decade. be niceys to me but also grill me so i can get stronger. this one is a stupidly self indulgent bit between Soda and Emizel, a day or so after emizel was sired. CW for gore descriptions, but thats about it i think. image below is a snippet of the start. the rest of the whole dang thing will be under the cut. ive never posted fanfic ever in my life. read my tags for secret behind da scenes commentary
"Oh shit… I think hes dead…" It was another night, another patrol, another fight, and another win, for Emizel and Soda.
Under moonlight, under street light, under interwoven wires above, the two stood here in a quiet and damp alleyway. The air was drenched with the smell of a previous rain, and the puddles of said storm remain huddled in corners and pot holes.
One splashed as soda found himself stepping forwards into one. The residual adrenaline of the fight had left his body shaking, his heart still pounding, his wounds still throbbing. They had still won; or more-so, Emizel had won. A particularly nasty blow to the side had Soda reduced to the side lines for most of the fight, left to watch as his newly vampiric comrade had absolutely eviscerated the competition.
Emizel had only been turned a day ago, but it was impossible not to notice how it had changed him. He already acted so goddamn confident, so on top of the world, and this newfound power, newfound speed and strength, only built upon his insane ego.
The Fangs that they encountered here on this night stood no fucking chance. Emizel was too quick, too strong, and he easily chased off the rivals. It was only now, as the final unfortunate opponent had turned to flee, a clean clock in the jaw sent the human tumbling to the ground with a dull thump, and it did not move afterward.
Soda shifts his shoe out of the puddle, the cold seeping into his sock being one of the few things keeping his mind in his body in the moment. Is the guy breathing?
A low laugh bleeds from Emizel as he stretches his arms, licking his sharpened teeth as he stares off in the direction the remaining Fangs went. Soda knew that look on his face, the look of a tiger pondering on its next kill, he knew well that Emizel wanted to chase them.
But the guy on the ground.. It was one punch to the face, and the wicked crack sound that came from it had planted a seeding dread within Sodas chest.
As he steps forward, around the puddle, the resulting sound made Emizels attention click back over to Soda, the snap of his gaze making Soda flinch.
The two lock eyes, and Soda weakly gestures to the limp body on the floor. "The uh.. I think.. Is that guy dead?" He finally asks, having a hard time keeping contact with Emizels intensely red eyes.
Emizel turns his attention to said body, tilting his head as he goes to kick at the thing, turning it over. "Man no way hes dead, I punched him once." He mutters.
"Well, yeah, but his head almost twisted all the way around when you did.." Soda steps up to stand beside Emizel, the two boys standing with their hands in their pockets, down at this unfortunate, limp body.
"Should we hide it?" Soda asks, glancing back over at Emizel, who had.. An odd look on his face. He was clearly pondering something, but Soda could only guess whatever was going on in that brilliant head of his. He knew and trusted that Emizel was smart. If anyone could figure out what to do about this, it would be him.
But the lack of an answer had anxiety chewing at the back of Sodas rib cage, and after a second, he speaks up again, compelled to fill what he perceived as a tense silence. "Like.. I dunno, I've never uh... killed a guy..." He shrugs, prompting Emizel to let out a big sigh.
"He's not dead man, just out fuckin cold." Emizel kneels down next to the body, putting an ear up to its chest, and pondering on that for a moment. An uncertainty twists his expression, as he decides to instead place a hand on the victims throat, checking for a pulse. A moment passes, and seemingly finding nothing, he pulls back.
"Uh... Okay, so he might be dead."
Something about the confirmation from Emizel made a shiver run up Sodas spine. That, or maybe it was just the breeze agitating the cold water in his shoe.
"Huh… Damn.." Was all that Soda could really get to leave his mouth. Which was hardly a splash compared to the torrent that was slowly churning in his head. They just killed a guy. Or, Emizel just killed a guy. And it was so easy. They had to hide the body now, right? That was the usual progression here? Getting caught for murder was way more extreme than getting caught for breaking mailboxes with soda cans. It was so, so disturbingly easy. It really was just one punch. It's not like the Fangs are weak by any means, so just one punch? And this guy is dead? Forever?
Or, perhaps by human means, their rivals were fairly tough. But Emizel was on a whole other level. No mortal could stand up to him now...
"Hey, are you okay?"
The question had pulled Soda back from his head, his gaze flicking back over to Emizel, who was looking up at him with those eerie, piercing red eyes. Soda felt another shiver.
"Uh, ieah man, I'm all good." Soda nods, swallowing down whatever anxiety was bubbling up in his throat.
But Emizel didn't seem satisfied by his answer, standing back up and staring down his human comrade. Soda couldn't meet his eyes, his gaze instead traveling downward, and pausing on Emizels red, cut-up shirt. There was something off about the color, the way it seemed darker in some spots, brighter in others.. Wait, wasn't Emizel wearing a white shirt before all this?
The vampire boy seems to pick up on Sodas expression, following his eyes down to his shirt. "Oh, yeah! While you were on the floor, the knife guy got me a little" He says, a stupidly simple smile on his face. Soda was about to let out a laugh at how unbothered his friend seemed by it, but it gets caught in his throat when Emizel goes to pull his shirt up.
The sound of the bloodied fabric peeling away from skin made Sodas own skin crawl, but that wasn't nearly as bad as the sight of the intense gash running from his collar bone, down to his stomach.
"Oh, fuck dude!" Soda gasps, but Emizel laughs it off. Even despite knowing Emizel well, Soda was still surprised by just how much Emizel could shrug off. "Shit, doesn't that hurt, dude?"
"Oh yeah this fucking hurts!" he says with a laugh, his smile big and toothy and proud as he presents this egregious wound. Swollen and angry, pulsing with a slow heartbeat, and still oozing with thick, dark blood.
The sight of the split flesh, and the glints of bone beneath the dark, dark red all tugged at Sodas gag reflex, and yet he couldn't pull his eyes away. So Emizel's just been walking and talking so normally this whole time with his chest just cleaved wide open? Soda felt just as impressed as he felt horrified.
It wasn't until Emizel reaches down to poke at the abhorrent wound that Soda snaps out of it. Watching his friend press his fingers into the bloodied flesh, and slowly pulling it apart, allowing more ichor to seep from the gash, it was too much to watch at this point.
Soda reaches up to put a hand on Emizels wrist, the vampire boy stopping, and looking up at his friend.
Soda found himself freezing again when he locks eyes with Emizel. He was going to say something now, right? "U-uhm.." Is all he really chokes out, giving Emizels wrist a gentle tug. "D-do you. Uh. I suppose a hospital Isn't a place you can go anymore..?"
Emizel just smirks at that, letting Soda pull his hand away from the wound. "Oh, yeah no, but it's fine. I mean, I don't think it's gonna kill me" He shrugs. It was so, so impressive just how unphased Emizel was by all this. Fuck he's actually so cool.
"Well yeah man but it's like, still a bleeding hole. Like you're soaked in blood dude, I'm pretty sure that even a vampire needs that stuff on like, the inside." Soda rubs the back of his head, still unnerved by the sight of it all. "Vampires have like, super healing, don't they?"
"Oh yeah like, regeneration powers. I know I heal faster sometimes but I dunno how to just, activate it on command.." Emizel hums, his eyes narrowing down at his own injury, as if trying to will it into mending. Soda looks away, unable to watch that vile gash ooze any longer.
"I dunno man, how do they do it in like, video games?" Soda tosses the question out, trying to click together some sort of solution in his own head.
"Uhhh.. Huh, video games.." Emizel repeats to himself, chewing on the thought while idly poking at the laceration; until an idea audibly flickers to life in his head. "Oh, I just gotta refill my blood meter. Or whatever."
"Oooh yeah, blood meter!" Soda perks up, "Of course, see this is why you're the brains, man" Soda smiles, glancing back over to his cool friend, but immediately needing to look away again when the sight of that egregious gash tugs bile back into his throat.
While Soda averts his eyes, Emizels eyes wander back over to the body, and that classic 'Emizel has a bad idea' smile creeps across his face.
"Well, if this guys dead, I'm sure he's not gonna need all that blood.." He grins, kneeling down next to the body again.
The word 'wait' had hardly gotten the chance to crawl from Sodas mouth, before Emizel lifts up the arm of the unfortunate body, pulling the sleeve back, and immediately sinking his teeth into the exposed wrist.
The sound and the sight of blood gushing around Emizels teeth made Soda cringe, his hand impulsively coming up to aide his own wrist. An empathetic phantom pain made his wrist ache, his imagination simulating the feeling of shark teeth cutting into skin, sinking deep into the flesh, and clacking against bone. That was a lot of blood, that was streaming down the arm of this fodder.
A low growl bleeds from Emizel as he adjusts his teeth, cutting into more flesh, opening the wound further, and allowing a pulsing torrent of red to stream down his chin, onto his coat. It was an annoying thing, to clean blood out of clothing. Most of the Demons deemed it easier to just let the stains remain. But the night that Emizels throat was torn open, and liters upon liters were granted freedom from his human form, the unbelievable mess had practically changed half the color of Emizels iconic coat.
That was the first time Soda had ever seen that much blood from one person. And well. This would probably be the second.
The sight was unnerving, but it was impossible to look away. The alley was quiet, save for the distant bustle of a distant city, which made the noisy squish and squelch of teeth gnawing on flesh all the more apparent and nauseating.
Emizel had become a monster for sure, and watching it feed on something was… thrilling, in a way. It reminded Soda of feeding a pet spider, or lizard. A mouse for a snake.
It's a heavy thing to witness, the end of a human life. The fear of death is a primal thing, and Soda was no different from any other living thing. He figured everyone else feared death just as much as he does. Well, maybe except for Emizel, of course.
It made sense. Emizel was such a cocky and noisy kind of guy, but hes always had the power to back it up. Even when he lost, or seemed at his lowest, Soda still saw this sort of fire in him, one that Soda admired.
Of course Emizel would be the one to become something like a vampire. Something that Soda had always figured was just a fantasy creature thing. He wondered; if vampires were real, what else was real? Werewolves? Zombies? Unicorns? Are there real demons? Like from hell? Is hell real? Is he going to hell?
The sudden ttteeeeaaaaarrrr of flesh rips soda from his wandering thoughts. Emizel was tugging his head away from the arm of his kill, his teeth clamped down into the chewed meat, and pulling it apart. Soda had seldom seen so much of the inside of a human arm, and the sight of spilling threads and squirming veins was hardly something he ever wanted to stomach again.
"Oh fuck, dude, hey-" Soda steps forward, raising a hand, but the way Emizel snaps his head back over to him, twisting to an unnatural degree, Soda cant help jolting back.
Reddened teeth glint menacingly in the low light, a threatening growl thundering from its clenched, dripping jaws. Emizels eyes were focused, yet wild, glowing with whatever light they could reflect.
Sodas eyes were wide, and his body was frozen in the thick, electric tension within the air. It was like staring down an angry dog.. Suddenly a light bulb in his head flickers to life. It was kind of like an angry dog, right? One hunched over a meal it didn't want to give up. Memories of old encounters and unfortunate dog bites resurface in Sodas head, and with that experience, and with those lessons learned, he gathers the courage to react.
He shuts his eyes, keeping them closed for a few seconds, as he slowly pulls back his arm, and slowly steps back. It was an eye contact thing, wasn't it? Eye contact makes dogs angry, right? That was how you dealt with an angry dog? As he pulls back, and takes in a breath for composure, he finally dares to peek at the angry vampire before him again.
Its snarling had died down, but its eyes were still trained intently on Soda. After a tense, and agonizingly, slow pause... It blinks back, lowering its head back down to its meal, but keeping its anxious stare on this potential threat.
A relieved sigh falls from soda as the tension finally melts. He didnt realize he was holding in so much of his breath. "O-okay, man.. It's yours, you uh.. Earned it.." Soda mutters, stepping back further, until he was standing in a sufficiently dry enough space to sit down in. Now that he wasn't standing, he was finally taking into mind just how much his hands were shaking.
It's odd. Soda couldn't really describe this feeling thrumming in his chest as something like fear.. Nausea? For sure. Disturbed and rattled? Oh absolutely. This was certainly a sight he would have a hard time scrubbing from his eyelids when he sleeps tonight. But he wasn't scared. The memory of the night that Emizel was sired still coated the inside of his mind like an unwashable film. Even in that moment, when the unnatural teeth from the unnatural maw of an unnatural thing hovered over his throat, he couldn't say with confidence that he was scared.
Emizel really is his best friend in the world. And he knows with his whole heart that Emizel feels the same. He knew and trusted that his best friend would never hurt him. Not too badly at least. He loves Emizel, and would give anything to support him.
Like a mouse to a snake.
This really is an incredible power that his comrade had come across, and Soda especially felt a sort of pride in his friend. He felt it was worth it to help him feed it.
The bile in his throat had made its point, and Soda agreed, that watching someone die, and get torn apart and drained might be too much for him. Despite how much he hated the Fangs, the end of any human life seemed like such a jarring thing. To have such an intense fear finally get confronted. Would he go to hell?
Maybe he couldn't just feed people to his friend. So an alternative could be donated blood, right? Soda wouldn't mind giving up something like blood. His body makes it for free, after all. Maybe some other Demons would agree to give up some blood too. But they shouldn't have to take on such a burden. Soda wouldn't mind being the only one. The only one. The only one.
His hand comes up to rub at his neck, as his imagination conjures up what it might feel like to have teeth sink into his flesh. He's been stabbed before, is that sort of what it would feel like? Would he have to get stitches? He didn't really want to get stitches, so maybe there could be a more effective way to get the blood out of him. And there was so much vital stuff in his neck too. There's' a vein that's safe to cut into somewhere, right? He would have to look that up later.
A STARTLING RINGING;
Splits the moment,
Prompting both Soda and Emizel to jolt in shock,
As the phone in Emizels pocket rings away.
Acting as if nothing abnormal had taken place, Emizel pulls out his phone, and answers it.
"Heyy, Johnny! Yeah we chased em off, I don't think those bastards will be infesting this street again anytime soon. Yeah, ieah we'll be heading back soon. Oh fuck yeah dude, save us some!"
Emizel covers the speaker of his Nokia, turning back to Soda with a big smile on his violently bloodied face. "They got some pizza waiting for us back home, dude!" he whispers out to him.
Soda does his best to crack a smile, and to suppress the look of unease that probably stained his face, as he stares at the literal murder scene that's been splattered about in front of him.
"Oh, yeah, hell yeah man.." He swallows down the bile again. "What kind of uh.. Soda did they get?"
Emizel ponders that, before turning back to the phone to ask Sodas question.
"Sprite and a big pack of that one strawberry mountain dew" Emizel tosses the answer back over to Soda, who gives a nod, and thumbs up.
Mountain dew is so neat, Soda really liked all the wacky flavors those guys come up with. The thought of going home and opening a can of soda was certainly a comfort. After witnessing all this blood and gore and viscera, Soda absolutely needed to get back home and get a nice cold glass of something bright red .
As Sodas mind wanders off to soda, Emizel wraps up the conversation on the phone, before hanging up, and standing up.
The movement had pulled Sodas mind back into the moment, enough for him to timidly voice a concern he's had since the start of this debacle.
"Uh, hey, so.. The body, should we… Uh.." He gestures vaguely to it, and Emizel grants it a nonchalant glance.
"Eh, I can toss it into a dumpster or something, I dunno. I'm sure its fine. I'll handle it."
The vampire boy goes to pick up the corpse, the wound in its mangled arm no longer even dripping with blood, the flesh pale from the absolute absence of red in its veins.
"Go ahead and meet me by that one mailbox, the one with the bullet hole in it." Emizel casually instructs, tossing the drained body over his shoulder. "I'll catch up."
"Uh, yeah, okay.." Soda musters up a nod, and the strength to rise back up to his feet, wincing as that bruise on his side makes itself loudly known again. He still felt anxious, but even despite it all, he knew he could trust Emizel to take care of things. He always does. "Just stay safe man, I'll see you there." Soda assures with a smile, and Emizel matches it, tossing him a wink. And then suddenly- -He's gone! If Soda had blinked he would've missed it, but he was fortunate enough to just barely catch the glimpse of Emizel darting off at an inhuman speed, probably looking for a place to dump the body. Right, he would take care of it. Emizel always makes sure his crew is taken care of. Well... Guess all that's left for Soda is for him to walk back to that meeting spot. He looks around the alley for a moment, taking in the sight of that enormous pool of blood in the middle of the concrete. Or whatever the floor of this alley is made from. He ponders on the present moment a little longer than he meant to, the shock of it all leaving him aimless for just a few, soothing moments of just, decompression. The night is quiet, vast, and cold, but the stresses of just the past 5 hours had left his body radiating with fiery aches and pains, so the chill of the occasional clawing breeze was welcomed. Except for when said breeze agitated the cold water still soaked into his sock. He should step in another puddle on his way back to even it out. The smell of rain still rested heavy in the air, heralding another storm on the horizon. There was that, and then, well, there was also the blood. The stench of it felt far too intense to just ignore it, the metallic miasma making itself maliciously unmistakable. Maybe the impending storm will wash this mess away... He looked forward to putting this unfortunate night behind him. With one last rattled, but deep breath, he stuffs his hands in his pockets, and turns away, strolling back over to the mailbox that Emizel had described.
He couldn't wait to get home and drink some soda with his friends.
#NO TAGS ON THIS ONE BC WELL. IM SHY. IM TAKING A BIG LEAP JUST BY ALLOWING U TO REBLOG THIS. IF IT BREAKS CONTAINMENT THATS UR FAULT.#i unfortunately suffer from the disease of 'i hate everything i write the day after i write it' BUT IM GETTING TREATED#I WILL NOT BE HAUNTED BY THIS WEAKNESS FOREVER. AND HEY LOOK THIS IS THE FIRST ACTUAL FIC BIT IVE EVER FINISHED..#ITS SOMETHING TO BE PROUD OF!! AND BY JOBE I WILL BE PROUD EVEN IF I HATE IT.#i dont always need to be the one who likes my art bc i know Someone out there will always enjoy it.#and to that someone i say: omg thankyou i LOOOOVEE YOUUUUUU!!!!!#JUST DELETED A WHOLE RAMBLE I JUST HAD ABT NERVOUS DISCLAIMERS FOR MY ART BUT I DONT NEED EM!!#GET CONFIDENT GET CONFIDENT GET CONFIDENT. ANYWAY. so emizel and soda huh#THEYRE SO CUTE TOGEEHTERRRR TEEHEHEHEHEEEE they are the homies that kiss eachother goodnight like CMON#but uhh so hey your bestest friend in da world just got turned into a freaky creature thing that eats ppl#ieah yknowthe guy that u care about alot that u had to watch get bled out by another freaky creature thing in an alleyway#yeaaah and you were super hurt and weak and stupid and u couldnt do jack nor shit to help him#what was i talking about again. RIGHT so hes even cooler now bc he cant die n hes super strong n his arms can be knives. sometimes.#but also he can eat people now. and sometimes he cant stop himself from eating people. and thats kinda scary. but in a cool way.#but also in a disturbing way. but also in an interesting way?but also in a freaky way.the feelings ARE MIXED!!!ATLEAST I THINK THEY WOULD B#okay again i havnt listened to the suckening ina bit. so its been a minute since i absorbed their personalities. i could be misreading or#misremembering or misconstruing or mischaracterizing or WHATEVER. i think the confusion carries its intended effect#LOSING MY TRAIN O THOUGHT. anyway i love soda n emizel i hope they get locked in a saw trap together or somethign. for enrichment.#TALOS GRANT ME THE STRENGHT TO POST MY CREATIONS ON LINE!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUGHHH!!!!!!!
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genuine question but is there any fandom where a character is well written by the majority. im thinking about fandom culture and the spread of frustration when people dont write characters well but. honestly in all the fandoms ive been in there's only like, a Select number of authors who i trust to write Well, let alone write Well AND In Character. character analysis and writing and getting inside characters' heads are all separate skills (all of which are trained by roleplaying fyi can CONFIRM playing pretend with your friends is good for you). there's been more than once where I've disagreed with an interpretation that others agreed with, and then I turned out wrong. or i turned out right. like it doesnt matter WHO is right it just matters that differences in character analysis exist, so even if you DO write well AND write in character, your in character is still going to be someone else's out of character
there's this sort of. vibe. that to play in the sandbox you Need to be able to make a castle, and if you can't make a castle then you shouldn't bother, and it completely dismisses the idea that youre in that sandbox to PLAY in the first place. there's this Weight of disappointing someone if you can't build something that they like, but that forgets that you aren't there to build them a castle. like, be KIND. if you disagree with someone then please make an effort to do so kindly. i dont give a shit about fandom discourse but there is a reason kids get removed from sandboxes if they keep throwing sand in people's eyes. but if they don't like your misshapen sand pile, then youre not obligated to change it. even if you yourself end up hating that same sand pile later- youre not building a legacy. youre playing. and sometimes the result of that play is out of character drivel. theres a reason there are so many authors and so few who i like to consistently read and thats because everyone is Fucking Around in their hobby space. hash tag brag or whatever but i can build castles. ive built several that im v proud of. ive also dug holes in the sand for fun and then tripped on them when trying to get up. I often dug a hole and then got up and fucking- whoops, its a castle now, and i didn't realize i'd made something to be proud of until after the fact. the whole time while creating shit i was Convinced it was bullshit that didn't make sense. and then other times i was Convinced it was bullshit and then i was Right and i can look back and go. huh. ew. but it doesn't matter what the end result was, because i had fun playing in the sandbox
this wasn't meant to turn into a ramble but i have Feelings about bad art and art that's badly perceived and how public perception can screw with your head and how making art youre proud of is fucking. it's so difficult!!! it's hard!! it's really fun, which is why i try to make it, but i promise you it is Okay to not tryhard creativity. even if you CAN, it's okay not to do it all the time. or ever, even. fuck around find out have fun etc
#NOT a discourse post i am musing out loud#there's discourse goign around the dash rn or i wouldnt mention it#but the past few weeks ive seen a lot of “DONT fucking mischaracterize my guy my fuckign god”#which is one of the most frustrating pet peeve there is#but i think a lot too about little baby me#fresh on her writing journey#and how discouraged i would be if someone pointed out the mistakes id made#i made a Lot of fuckups#and i also think about this one fic where one of the characters was INCREDIBLY out of character#me today would not be able to stomach reading it#but baby me was so ENCHANTED#and it introduced to me the concept that you dont always know the reason someone does something#and it made me read even more#and because of that i eventually found Expert Skill level fics#which introduced me to MANY little tricks and fidgets ive tried to implement#there were so so many reviews on that fic that called it shit or complained about the bad characterization#but a decade later i still think about it#there were several very corny mine/craft horror fics i read#which back in the day would be called cringe#and those were what inspired me to write my first horror fic and now im Enchanted by the whole genre#theres a lot of stuff i dont like to read but i like that other people are enjoying themselves#i dont know how to be succinct i hope my point is coming across well#this ties into my thing where fiction is for you first others later#here are my credentials: bb/h fan since before the elections (hi i was the guy who noticed his lack of armour post elections)#and a cross-fandom comment trend of people going 'woa i can see this happening in canon'#im not talking out my ass i genuinely think its more important to have fun than to write accurate characterization#which. is a more 'duh' and clarifying thing than everything else ive written#but ah well c'est la vie#also also just realized this could be interpreted like that- NOT an attack on people who complain about mischaracterization either lmao#i do that too w friends. this is to reassure people who put pressure on themselves to create things Well all the time
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OKAY RANT ON VIVZIEPOP SCROLL PAST IF YOU DONT CARE
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I like Viv as an artist, shes inspired me since frickin middleschool with her animations, character designs, and now 2 shows holy crap. I just really wish she'd get off social media for her own mental health cuz good god it's not great to see a whole thread of tweets arguing with someone about the dislike of fanfiction having homophobic undertones its just... agdhdh Viv is a pretty controversial person due to unfortunate past events and having shows that present some darker subject matter. Honestly? I want to see Viv not just move past the previous controversy, but learn from it to be better. Its totally fair tho if you think the handling of certain topics arent done well, there are things people will have preference over. And I dont give a fuck about shipping, I dont wanna see it, frankly. If you're doin somethin shady with it and I see it I'm certainly not going to like it and I'll do my best to not interact with you, but I think we should make tagging things just a common thing? Keeps things organized and people can intake what they want while the stuff they dont want is not being shown to them. Same goes with headcanons they're someone imagining something, they arent holding the creators hostage to make it canon. Canon is silly anyways! Both the OG and a headcanon can exist because AUs and headcanons are just another version of the thing. Headcanons arent going to change the episodes, they'll still be the same way the creators made it. So like... chill.
Just as long as it has no mental or physical negative implications or intent against actual living people I will add.
Dont harrass actors because they play a villian you need to separate fiction and reality it's literally their job to pretend to be someone else.
#vivziepop#vivzipop critical#hazbin hotel#helluva boss#it sucks to see someone i looked up to seemingly keep stirring the controversy pot#the shows arent for everyone#things arent always going to be appealing to everyone and thats ok#i think viv needs to let go the fact some people do not like her or her shows instead of fighting people for a whole thread#im embarrassed to say im a fan of these shows???#and dont get me wrong i think they kinda suck sometimes and the writing inconsistancy makes me so so frustrated#but there are a few moments where i really feel connected to their struggles#loneliness and a fear of rejection are something i empathize with a lot#im frustrated because of what these shows COULD be#and how happy it makes me to see these shows be enjoyed so much because tbh everything about it is full of things we are told#is bad and weird and cringe and something real proffesionals would never respect#and they made it! it lets me know if im passionate enough people like me can do what we love and still be successful#i hope for many other passion projects from artists in the future who may be inspired by not just Vivzie but the tons of indie stuff out rn#crowmancerx#idk just a rant#i do want to lay out at some point my many issues with the writing of Vivz's shows but ill holdoff on big rants for a bit#agsudvdhdb#its been a rough day at school
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(Some people will kill me for this) I watched Neon Genesis Eva back in 2021-ish and the more I think about the show the worse the show gets, I think its a very pretty show, Especially with the strain the animators were put under. But the character writing is pretty awful regarding all of the women in the show, and even disregarding misogyny as a element (Which it IS) The show builds so much momentum just to do nothing with it, This show has a lot of potential it throws away to focus on asuka or whoever shoving her ass in the camera. The themes of human connection are surface level at the best and misguided especially for a audience of 14 year olds at the worst.
Its such a mixed bag I enjoy talking about mostly cause I can find no one who agrees with me, half of the people I encounter just enjoy the cool art anyway and I can get behind that, I just find it impossible to ignore the many many issues with the writing.
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#Yeah I agree the show did not do it for me at all#I can usually roll my eyes and ignore fanservice but with such a serious story and such emotionally fucked young characters#It felt so so so deeply fucking scummy it near singlehandedly ruined the whole thing for me. Other weird writing shit on top of it too#I liked end of evangelion a lot tho#Maybe I’ll do a rewatch someday but idk I also feel that the themes feel a lot more surface level than ppl make them out to be#I’m sure that stuff is really appropriate powerful for someone at a different stage of their life than me#But Im not that person so I’m like…Well yeah. Feel it’s hard to connect to if you’re not A Shinji. Banks on a sizeable amount of projection#Art is beautiful thoigh and has tons of things I do really enjoy but. Man idk#Sonny Boy does for me emotionally everything that evangelion was intended to. I’d rather just rewatch that
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what is ur problemmmmmmm
#p#@me#i feel all bad+evil n i need to live in an underground cave away from civilization#but also i keep havin thiughts like i need to enjoy the run of the mill stuff like watching shows w family#or petting my dog or idk chilling in my room cuz itll all be gone n then i wont have appreciated it enough or smth#idk why but its stressin me out :/#psychiatrist appt tomorrow im so sick of thoseeee#last time it felt like she was trying to therapy me n i just wanted to be like ok i have someone else for that already thx#idk how much medication can do when im like my whole problem. that sounds so edgy but idk seems right#i just keep feeling like smth bad is gonna happen or im gonna fuck up rly bad idk#dlt ltr im sick of this post mid-writing it but im still goin#idk what else w/e#i wanna be better as a person for the ppl inmy life but im just this#n i wish i could like detach from everything til im less bad but i wont do that so#i feel like im just nothing but also like a gross rotten thing . idunno
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🎤 🎤 🎤
a song that i associate with my muse meme!
AHH, hey, ramone!! thank you for sending in this prompt :D since you sent in three of the mic's, i shall now be treating you to three songs that make me think of blamore when i hear them / that i associate with it. an explanation of why i chose them will be in the tags <3
hozier - who we are.
youtube
icehouse - crazy.
youtube
depeche mode - personal jesus.
youtube
#IT WAS PROBABLY NOTHING BUT IT FELT LIKE THE WORLD: musings.#asks - answered.#ooc post.#okay but ESPECIALLY heavy on the last one because it literally all about the idea of someone that people can turn to in hard times-#like a god or a prophet who will listen to your plights and help you + who you should believe in. and i say this because one major theme-#to blamore's character is the concept of being a false prophet and someone who essentially unfortunately takes advantage of people's-#longing for things to get better in gotham. bc i feel like a lot of people there have either been failed by the system by other's or-#possibly both and this is so that blamore can get people to voluntarily want to consume the 'seeds' it distributes in order to uhh...#well purge gotham of its undesirables basically as terrible as that sounds. but yeah that depeche mode song? it's such a good one for-#him and definitely has helped me before to write things related to him since blamore does sometimes believe in its own hubris.#but as for the second one by icehouse that one i associate with it because although it doesn't exactly consider itself to fully identify-#with the label of being a 'man' i feel as if blamore will still talk about itself that way sometimes. its relationship with its gender-#is honestly a little bit complicated NGL because him using it/its pronouns as well is something blamore adopted recently even-#though he'd always sort of felt like disconnected and/or like it didn't really align with how he saw himself completely. BUT yeahhh#i honestly could start a whole discussion about that but i shall do that another time perhaps ahah. anyhow though besides that-#elephant in the room ever since it has transformed into this half-human half-plant monster being... although it does love any partners-#it has very much (trust me) i feel like it does wonder why they chose to be with him more often than he'd like to admit.#so that's where the whole 'crazy' part comes in and as for the hozier song that song is about how you kind of have to carve through-#this 'darkness' to rediscover ourselves and who we want to be as a result of going through a rough time or just something tough in-#general and that is SO freaking fitting in my opinion for blamore because it definitely had to completely reframe the way it thought-#about itself when it transformed. and he also had to figure out what he believed in / what his values were now which can be suchhh-#a messy process TBH but this isn't the first time that blamore's had to rediscover itself as life is honestly kind of this ongoing-#process of losing yourself and trying to find yourself again you know? but yeah. i hope you enjoyed my explanation here tehe <3#and also that you enjoy the tunes!!
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