#can someone tell me how and why i wrote
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Both my parents actually suffer from HORRID emotional dysregulation and are prone to snapping and going into rages. My sister is the same way tbh. I am now realizing this is why they are constantly baffled by the question of whether or not I am mad at them.
I don't have external meltdowns.
I could. I don't let it happen.
I keep my rage on the inside and stay pretty quiet about it. It's just as strong as theirs [physically shaking nose bleed from high blood pressure kind of bad], but like as a kid I saw how terrifying it was to be around [dad breaking dishes, mom putting our lawn chairs into walls] and I just internalized that I wasn't going to wear that anger on the outside.
So my mother genuinely cannot tell if I am just being quiet or if I am silently hearing the dial-up noises of pure rage. This has lead her to both making strong and confident statements like "You are a pacifist who would never hurt a fly U.U" but also acting like I am secretly dangerous maybe... It's because she has never seen me snap.
She knows what her temper is like [throwing chairs through walls], she knows what my father's temper is like [pick up child and toss out door], and she can tell I am being tested, but she doesn't know what happens when I snap or where that breaking point is.
Her -perhaps unhinged- solution to this, my whole life, has been to do things that should obviously enrage me or shut me down completely, like ignoring important boundaries, repeatedly, punishing me for expressing emotions or needs at all, etc... And then to constantly ask me if I am angry with her when I get too quiet [right after near directly telling me to shut up].
It has occurred to me now, they have never once seen me lose my temper, so they literally just can't tell if I am angry at them. My sister is easy, my mother fights and screams with my sister constantly, my mother understands this. My mother doesn't have any grasp of feelings or boundaries that are not screamed at her [apparently, and I fear my sister is the same way]. Her and my sister are close despite constant fucking fighting because they understand each other.
They are trying to get me to engage the same way and it is not working. I realize now that this has been hard for them.
I was so successfully taught to suppress my emotions, by being punished for any outburst, that rage quiet looks the same as any other kind of quiet from the outside. To them anyway.
I did tell her. For the record. I used my words. I did tell her very calmly that my response to rage, in order to avoid doing the things that terrified me as a child, was to simply leave [the autistic urge to GTFO]. When a situation or person causes too much of the dial-up rage noise, I simply extract myself from that situation, up to and including never speaking to a person again. I explained this calmly. I explained it calmly 100 times and I explained that I explain myself calmly as my rage response 1-5 [also pretty much every other negative emotion tbh], and I told her that what came next was me simply opting out and fucking off. I told her this. I couldn't understand why she never took me seriously, or why she never fucking understood.
I couldn't understand what made her like this.
But it's the same problem I have with everyone else multiplied by a factor of 10.
If I am explaining myself calmly, they can't understand that it's actually serious or that I am actually upset. ESPECIALLY because they read me as "female" and women "aren't that rational" so if I am not screaming and crying about something, which I never do, people assume I can't be upset and it isn't serious.
And then after having my boundaries ignored too many times despite having calmly explained how and why it's a problem [shaking inside or not]... I leave. I leave and everyone gets upset like this is unexpected behaviour, even though I told them 50 times that is how I would respond if they kept doing *the thing.*
And for neurotypical people especially, they are expecting there to be a disconnect between what someone says they need or feel and what their actually boundaries and feelings are, and they expect the latter to be demonstrated with emotions. Telling them bluntly you do not function that way somehow never helps?
My mother isn't just looking for normal yelling or a few tears to know I am serious, whether or not I do those either [I don't], she's looking for an explosion to know there's a problem at all.
Fucked if I know how she proceeds through life this way in general or if this is just her expectation of her own kids???
And I couldn't get why my mother couldn't read my emotions and didn't seem to think I have any. It's because she's testing for the rage limit to see where my 'actual' limit is instead of taking my word for it. Never the fuck mind that she could simply *not* test at my boundaries instead of letting me have them. Separate issue.
I couldn't figure out what made her *like this*
She's expecting me to throw a giant meltdown violent tantrum at people when I have 'actually' had enough. Maybe she got away with those being like 5'4" in another time, but I am the size of the average man, I do not get to have giant screaming rages, whether or not people perceive me consciously as a woman, and least of all because a lot of people -at least unconsciously- read me as 'masculine' or at least always "they guy" of the situation compared to all other women and some men [bigger stronger and more rational, more able to just absorb the damage and let it go so the less rational screaming/crying one doesn't have to be dealt with]. Even if it was in me to be willing to terrify people [usually never], there are such limited instances where it wouldn't just blow back on me. Potentially very dangerously.
I am going to be the quiet calm one. You are going to have to let me use my words, bitch.
So she kept ignoring my boundaries until I had to cut her out of my life, and she probably doesn't understand and probably thinks it feels sudden -after 36 long years of bullshit- abrupt and unfair.
But I told her hundreds of times.
I probably should have just screamed at her.
#good stay out of our yard' and he didn't seem to know what to say to that#but other than that I don't think anyone in my adult life has ever seen me turn aggressive at all to the point where people 100% like to#play games of testing my patience and my boundaries because they think my tolerance is infinite#but like I have autistic rage tantrums on both sides of my family and they are just happening inside my head#And somehow it took me until now to realize that being that way was actually -expected- of me by my parents and especially my mother#and that by keeping myself outwardly level headed to be considerate I actually took away whatever signals she can understand#to have empathy for how I must be feeling#I mean it's still all on her#but it makes so much sense of why she's fucking *like this*#And why my sister thinks I hate her just because -she- stopped texting -me-#but that fucking guy#Every time I was like#In my adult life I have screamed at someone ONE whole time and it was 1000% deserved#And I threw heavy objects around one whole other time and in my defense I didn't do it in front of the guy he just felt the ground shaking#heard the thuds and came back to the logs blocking his path because that fucker wouldn't stop parking in our yard after being asked#and then TOLD not to about 10 times because he was acting entitled to just park in our yard and was crushing my plants???#seriously I don't know what his deal was but he wouldn't stop telling me how much the ground shaking scared him like it was supposed#to get my pity like I think this guy took one look at the logs I had just tossed down and was suddenly afraid of this “woman” he was#bullying in their own yard and so my ability to feel bad for scaring him had gone straight out the fucking window#I looked at him and said stop parking in our yard instead of your own you are killing my plants#he'd just fucking be like 'well the last people to live here let us D: :)“ and I'd be like ”good for them?“ ”stop“#and he'd just keep doing it#I was having a week of insomnia and was finally having the best dream#the kind of sex dream you have like twice in your life#and this fucker had just gotten some noisy ass little bike with a spoiler on it#and starts it up right under my window at 3am from IN OUR FUCKING YARD#so I had a nice long anger nap and just after he got home from work and was sleeping in his house#I picked up these chunks of deadwood tree from the back#there was like 3-4 logs that used to be a WHOLEASS fucking oak tree Like these logs were not as heavy as they -looked- but they were still#this fucker deleted half the tags I wrote and I am not retyping that fuck you tumblr so fucking hard
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Finding "the meaning" to a show that could have had up to five or seven seasons but was cancelled after the second is somewhat like trying to understand a novel composed of seventy chapters by having read only twenty — there is a whole wealth of information which we do not possess that could alter our reading of any given element or of the entire thing in itself.
Still, there are always patterns that weave a story into a cohesive unit and they can help us to better grope in darkness towards comprehension. One such pattern in Warrior Nun appears to be how the consequences to mistakes, "sins" or evil deeds committed by characters manifest.
Basic storytelling usually requires characters to act on something so that complications or resolutions may arise from their choices and move the plot forwards. In Warrior Nun, many of these actions are quite tragic in nature: Suzanne's arrogance and pride lead to the death of her Mother Superion; Vincent's allegiance to the higher power he believed Adriel to be inspired him to kill Shannon; Ava's flight from the Cat's Cradle ends up damning Lilith as she is mortally wounded and taken away by a tarask... All of these events have negative outcomes and heavy repercussions on all characters directly or indirectly involved. Something changes permanently because of them, be it in the world around them or within the characters themselves.
And yet, it would seem that all of these dark deeds not only move the story forwards but might also have overall positive results. We would have had no protagonist without Ava — and she would arguably never have received the halo to begin with had she not been murdered. What's more, on a personal scale, the horrifying crime she suffers is, in the end, the very thing that allows her a second chance in life, a new life.
An act of outside evil permits Ava to grow and develop, shows her a path she would not otherwise have found. Without her own season in some sort of hell, Lilith would not have been able to advance towards other ways of being and understanding beyond her very strict limitations. Vincent and Suzanne would not have embarked on their own journeys of enlightenment without having caused the pain they are responsible for.
Beatrice might have been paying for someone else's mistakes, but she, too, is given the chance to grow into herself through it. The afflictions that torment these characters advance the overall plot, but they also advance them, as individuals, as long as they are willing to learn and keep going despite the calamities large and small that they are faced with. Beatrice keeps going after parental rejection, Mary keeps going after losing Shannon, Jillian keeps going after losing her son (in part through her own actions, adding insult to injury)... Trouble and the adaptation that follows it, if one is open enough to learn from the experience, motivates the characters, propels them forward, teaches them.
The problem of evil has occupied the minds of many a thinker throughout the ages, given how the very existence of it, evil, might call into question that of God (a good, omniscient, omnipotent one, anyway). A common way of justifying suffering (and also God), then, is by claiming, as Saint Augustine, that "God judged it better to bring good out of evil than not to permit any evil to exist".
Now, it would be rather ridiculous to say of Warrior Nun that it follows in Leibniz's footsteps, also because this philosopher, expanding on the augustinian concept, attempted to defend the goodness of a real God with his "best of all possible worlds" while all we have is... Well, whatever/whoever Reya is.
But there seems to be an inclination towards some sort of optimism as a worldview nonetheless.
Betrayals reveal truth and grant knowledge (Vincent's culminates with the coming of Adriel, which allows us to know of the threat of a "Holy War" and thus prepare for it; Kristian's gives Jillian much needed insight, William's lights up the fuse for the fight to be taken more seriously...), crimes committed willingly or not open the way for Ava (Suzanne's killing of her Mother Superion causes the loss of the halo, which is transferred to Shannon, whose death opens the gates for Ava to walk through after being herself murdered by sister Frances)... The magnitude of these positive outcomes is perhaps not "balanced" when compared to the evil that brings them about, but there is still something to take out of the catastrophe.
However tragic the tones of a given event, the show itself appears to shun the predetermination that makes tragedy as a genre; if everything is connected, here it at least appears to not necessarily drag everyone into their horrible dooms.
What's more is that this lurking "optimism" matches really well with our own protagonist's personality.
And it makes perfect sense that Ava would do the best she could with whatever she is given.
Life for her, in the conditions she experienced after the accident, would have been unbearable without some sort of positive outlook on life. However deadpan, the joking and the "obscene gestures" and whatever other forms of goofing around beside Diego are a way of turning a portion of the situation in her own favour. Proverbial eggs have, after all, already been broken right and left — might as well make an omelette of whatever remains.
Humour is just another way of looking at the bright side of something, or, at the every least, of mitigating the utter horror it might bring. If the show allows for moments of lightness, if it lets us laugh, if it takes us through a perilous voyage which still bears ripe, succulent fruit instead of the rot of pessimism and its necessary contempt for humanity, it is because Ava herself sees things in this way. It isn't gratuitous or na��ve in this case, but a true survival strategy, especially as it is confronted with the morbidity of Catholicism.
Here is a religion that soothes its faithful with the promise of reward in the afterlife — how else does one charge into battle against the unknown, risking one's own death along with that of one's sisters, without the balm of believing that we shall all meet again eventually, "in this life or the next"? How else does one come to terms with the ugliness and the pain of this existence if not by looking forward to a paradise perfect enough to make all trials and tribulations here worth it?
True nihilism would have annihilated Ava. Her present perspective is what avoided the abyss.
And there is nothing Panglossian to her attitude or what the show might imply by giving us her view on things. This isn't about "the best of all possible worlds", but of making the best of whatever situation we're in, of taking what we have and doing something with it, something good, something of ourselves. It isn't God making good out of evil, but our choices.
Killing innocent people and feeling no remorse will never be the best someone can aspire to do. Sister Frances, cardinal William, Adriel all learn this the hard way.
Those who do their best find that, somehow, they can move on from whatever it was that paralysed them. Ava, most of all, knows what it is to be stuck, frozen in place; she can never be the character who refuses to grow, even through pain, lest she condemns her spirit to the same fate her body is all too familiarised with. Those around her wise enough to let themselves be touched by her, by the dynamic power she carries, walk forth with her and live.
It says very little about "God" that Warrior Nun should adopt its heroine's views and seem "optimistic" as it progresses — but it speaks volumes about the values it presents for pondering, of the inspiration its protagonists provide, and of the multiple reasons why this is a story unlike most others.
#warrior nun#ava silva#you know it's actually very funny to type this as someone who is very schopenhaurian with hints of nietzsche#but i AM doing the best i can too :)#again i will reiterate that i don't think this apparent optimism has anything to do with the classic theodicy#if anything i see it more as a cry in favour of antitheism -- this is YOUR life fuck god#life is shitty so carve out your own makeshift paradise out of the wreck you are given#and don't make things harder for anyone else in the process if you can avoid it#(but that might just be the luciferian in me speaking lol)#anywho this post is a translation of one i wrote not too long ago in cryptic english and a ton of tags#so if it seems familiar that's why#also i do find it rather telling that whenever i try to delve into how the show structures things i talk about ava#i don't set out to analyse her -- but in analysing the show i must analyse her as well if by the edges#which again points to how finely woven she is to the fabric of the entire thing#remember how i said ava is a representation of free will?#well this whole bringing good out of evil thing also touches upon it#saint augustine maintains that it is precisely free will that allows us to do it -- to choose good#of course he means it in a sense of being free to pursue god rather than evil but you see the parallel still works#(this is the post i mentioned in the last reblog. figured i'd go ahead and throw it in the wild since there are more brewing)#analysis and similar#exercises in observation
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I think being cannibalised would be kinda therapeutic
#maybe noahfinnce had the right idea with alexythemia#serve it to me on a plate to diagnose me so can you tell me how it tastes and why i cant breathe#if i could feed someone my guts and have them tell me what exactly is wrong I'd do it in a fucking heartbeat#girl what is HAPPENING in there#noahfinnce was also right when he wrote gibberish#'its my mind that im having to fight with/ a party that i wasnt invited to/and they know what they know now/#I'm still waiting to find out/if im fine or im headed for crisis/ask me how i am well i haven't decided yet'#thats not to do with cannibalism it's just the current mood
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🦈2
#even tho it was so hard for me. ofc when u can only communicate via the internet so much is lost i think... sm extra things u need to be#more secure kinda? like physical presence does a lot on its own#but yeah.. ok i actually wrote more but u can only have 30tags per post and safari on ur phone does not tell u when it's stopping so half o#what i wrote just disappeared ._. i cant rmbr what i said... and i mean this is just for myself to vent but grr im so annoyed#yeah just that he was sm more patient than i realized. i just was in the start of learning how to live w my avpd#i wasnt able to do a lot. even if i wanted to. he helped me sm to uncover things in myself to start that thing within me#i just desperately wish i had found him earlier and that i've been this far along in my anti avpd limitation abilities.... truly wish that#so im trying to accept it and just think bc i dont have a choice :') i've never wanted anyone like this and that just is how it is#i will always love him simply bc he is who he is#he's so so cool and amazing to me in so so many ways. and i always loved just how he talks and communicates bc it resonates w me#and there are simply sm details i just adore. but yeah... i probably shouldnt think abt that? i feel like.. it isnt my place to think abt i#but it is what it is but it hurts so incredibly much. will i ever be able to let go of him? the love i couldve experienced? the wonderful#person i couldve been with? will i be able to stop thinking abt all his great qualities and how much i wish he was mine? and all the things#wanna do and talk abt with him? he's just.. he just is .. i cant describe it. it feels like more than just earthly love...#maybe i sound insane or too intense or dramatic or smth but.. it feels so much larger than everything#so i struggle sm with letting go bc i want to touch him and i want to love him and i just want to be with him and experience everything w h#but that isnt my place. i know... why.. have i only ever felt like this w him... what do i do with this?? am i crazy? am i going insane? is#there smth wrong with me?#he is worthy of everything and he is so so wonderful but is there smth wrong w me for being so..#for having love that actually truly is all consuming? what is this... it's scary. esp when i cant unleash it. it's like a wild beast i have#to learn how to tame. and i want to be able to find mutual love too. but i cant force anything. will the universe grant me that?#i cant imagine myself ever being able of letting go of him but if that is what the universe has planned then..#ok im actually starting to sound intense and weird and idk O.O i think i think too much#.. it hurts that i wont get to do all of the things and talk abt all the things i wanna do w him. i'll never get to hug him...#if i could ask for only one thing it'd be one hug from him....#maybe is ound crazy but with all my disorders and feeling disconnected from the world.. and finding someone that makes me feel tethered#and safe and real.. and having to let go bc it just wasnt meant for me... why is the universe so cruel.#in the end i care abt him so much i just want him to be loved. i want him to finally feel loved.#someone else.. someone else without avpd can do that for him. i want him to be oh so so loved and .. yeah.. :(#i wish i couldve loved him as he deserves but .. its not my place. not my place... all i want is to hear his voice and live in his arms
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The Fernweh Saga by @lacunafiction - Agnes edition
Who would have thought? 🤭
Agnes "Nes" Sigrún 🌑RO: James Corvin
Personality: sincerity // cautious // friendly // merciful Traits: heart // compliance // believer Past affinity: writing [horror stories] Primary ability: empathetic impressions Past susceptibility: receptive
☀️Fernweh: She never really thought about leaving Fernweh… It was her place, near her family and friend(s). She felt good there and assumed she’s gonna spend her whole life happily in this little town. Even if Fernweh brings back devastating memories, she’s curious about what’s happening in Fernweh now, in her true home. It’s always been her dream to work in Turn The Page, and during her ‘short’ stay in Fernweh, she started thinking about it again. Why not stay for longer…? She would love to carry on her grandfather’s work and bring his legacy justice.
☀️Grandpa Jóhann: When she was young, she had an amazing relationship with her grandpa. They were completely honest with each other, and she loved him wholeheartedly. Some people thought that making her grandpa proud was her main hobby. She used to tell him all about her dreams that she had, which were always wild... and also about the nightmares… It took her by surprise when her grandpa, one of the most important people in her life, started being less involved. She was hurt and began to wonder if she had done something to cause the distance between them. His decision to move her out of Fernweh so quickly after this tragic event made a huge impact on her mental state. She needed time to cope and be with her closest ones, especially her grandpa...but after all she didn't blame him. She often heard that she looked exactly like her mother…like her grandpa's daughter... She assumed he could not look at her, without thinking about her... And she could not blame him for wanting to escape that pain. Agnes knew it was the best thing that her grandpa could do for him, and she accepted it, too eagerly. She always too eagerly took the blame for everything.
☀️Beckett Warrick: After what happened in Fernweh after James she had even more trouble interacting with other people and making new friends… However, Beckett was an exception. He was the first person who got to truly know her after the events in Fernweh. When she got the letter about her Grandpa, she considered hiding the truth from him, because she knew deep down that he would be there for her if she needed him… even if he would not particularly enjoy it. It's a good thing she’s such a bad liar… Her main concern is about Beckett’s well-being. She noticed that this 'little' trip made a huge impact on him. He wasn’t supposed to be here, and it’s because of her that he–... She needs to make sure that nothing happens to her friend. And she will somehow manage to bring him back to his home.
☀️Reese Verner: They had an unconventional relationship. Reese saw her as a rival, while Agnes thought of him as a friend. She was confused about why Verner, someone of great importance, would even look at her see her as a rival. She knew there were better candidates for his games. She had only one question on her mind - “why?”. Despite Verner's playful teasing, Agnes always remained polite and friendly towards him, even when he attempted to push her boundaries. Girl knew how to keep her true feelings behind a warm smile she still does. If I can be completely honest… Agnes was rather shocked that Reese still remembered her… and was actually looking for her, which sounded so unbelievably. His concern for Milton's well-being made her see him in a slightly different light. Of course, she already knew Reese had a good heart, but his behaviour really touched her. Additionally, Agnes noticed that Reese and James’ relationship became stronger and deeper… It’s for the best. James deserves someone as dependable as Reese. He will always be there for James.
☀️Sofia Dorran: Their bond was formed over a shared admiration for books and... the color blue. It may sound funny now, but these things became central to their lives and deepened their friendship. Sofia was the first person Agnes entrusted with her writing, and valued her honest feedback, knowing that Sofia would not make her feel bad if something needed improvement. They frequently borrowed books from each other's collections. Agnes yearned for the days when she and Sofia had reading sessions together, sipping on their favorite beverage. The only issue back then was when the book ended poorly or their library didn't have any new positions for them to read. She's willing to know how Sofia's taste toward books shifted (if shifted) and how she changed as a person. She's also extremely grateful because her grandfather received constant care from Sofia and her mother.
🌑James Corvin: …Do I really need to tell you that James was her first crush? And that she never found the courage to tell him so? maybe now will be the time? Agnes and James were always together, wherever one went the other followed. They were inseparable. Agnes even used to bake oatmeal cookies for James with her mother's help. They dreamed of their idyllic life together. As friends, obviously. Seeing him again after all those years was much harder than she anticipated. Agnes felt overwhelmed with stress from the moment she stepped out of her car. Every time she heard his surname, she unknowingly flinched. Her mind was full of questions about his well-being, life, and changes. She couldn't help but wonder if he would be happy to see her. …she did manage to hold his hand for a moment, I can consider it as a success
☀️Alex Corvin: Agnes has always looked up to Alex for their adventurous spirit and their willingness to embrace life to the fullest. She has always wanted to adopt a bit of Alex' wild side. Whenever they are around, boredom and dullness seem to disappear. They both share similar values and support each other's life goals. If I would say which person Agnes was the most willing to meet during her stay in Fernweh that would be Alex. She was confident in their friendliness towards everybody and was sure that their kindness had not wavered. Agnes was touched when she heard that Alex was looking after her grandfather's bookstore… It appears that Beckett has a new admirer, which Agnes wholeheartedly approves of.
☀️Mal: Agnes has a sense that Mal might be suspicious, but she is quite naive and doesn't believe that he could mean trouble. Although she is wary of him and finds him a little untrustworthy, Agnes believes in being kind to everyone, and she is willing to give Mal a chance, not judging him by her own impressions of him.
☀️Goldie: Agnes is grateful that her grandfather had a furry companion like Goldie, who probably managed to brighten his spirits. She fondly recalls how her grandfather would tell her stories when he once had a dog, when he was younger and how his eyes would light up with joy as he shared his story. Agnes is committed to taking excellent care of Goldie and ensuring her safety.
#don't get me started how she is BLAMING herself for the situation Beckett is rn. she needs to go back for her theraphy sesions right away#that's why she went with him into the woods looking for Milton and not James even so she wanted to spent every single second with him :sob:#she's conflicted. being with James is something that she dreamed of but in her opinion he deserves someone better //obviously//#...that's why she's cheering for James and Reese lol. Look she just wants James and Reese to be happy and she can see how those two care of#-each other. She's happy : )#she's an idiot 🙂#is there a potential happy ending for the three of them..? maybeeee. we'll see what the story will bring 👀#im totally confident that Sofia and Agnes had their own shared little library#Agnes wrote a poem for James when she was young but it wasn't really her forte. that's why she showed it to Sofia because she knew she will#-help her. //Agnes didn't want to tell for who it was but Sofia figured it out anyway. they both knew that the other knew but weren't-#-talking about it out loud. XD it was hilarious -- for me and I assume Sofia but Agnes was terrified. XDD//#....cough James never saw this poem anyway cough...#I have this headcanon that Agnes made up amazing horror stories that James was willing to hear (for a bunch of oatmeal cookies) when-#-they had a sleepover //those stories were from her nightmares but she never said that to James knowing he would only worry about her//#btw her parents called her 'little star' and James must have heard it and (maybe?) asked Sofia to make a necklace... Sun and Moon.#did you know that Agnes had her piece of the Sun as her necklace for the WHOLE TIME. but she hid it away under shirt... x"D she was looking#-if James had his Moon somewhere... but she did not see it. anyway she wears it always.#omg i finally made it. there's also one in my drafts nearly finished and three more to go. XD#sooo curious about book two <3#fernweh saga#my art?#Spotify#oc: agnes sigrun
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What Do I Ship?
Don't mistake this for a tolerance or tier list. I will read and write ships that aren't even on this list, or write ships from the secondary list sometimes, this is just to give you a general sense of the stuff I mainly support/think about and in what capacity. Might be updated periodically. Ranting and comments in the tags.
Re: the Mokuba ships, I only ship them in non-problematic ways, where either the Kaiba brothers are ageswapped, making Mokuba the same age as the rest of the main cast, or where they only get together far post-canon where Mokuba's an adult. We cool? Cool.
Primary Ships
(things I can/want to create content for; this does not include every ship I've ever written, just the ones I care about/are currently engaged in writing/plan to write multiple fics for, or ships I just stan in a way that I know it'll never end)
Euroshipping (Kaiba x Ryou)
Puppyshipping (Joey x Kaiba)
Mumbleshipping (Kaiba x Ryou x Duke)
Teaseshipping (Joey x Ryou x Kaiba)
Snareshipping (Joey x Duke)
Trustshipping (Kaiba x Ishizu)
Polarshipping (Joey x Mai)
Blueshipping (Kisara x Kaiba)
Mizushipping (Kisara x Priest Seto)
Minorshipping (Ryou x Duke)
Mastershipping (Duke x Kaiba)
Puffshipping (Joey x Ryou)
Sweetshipping (Ryou x Mokuba)
Wintershipping (Mokuba x Amane)
Rollshipping (Duke x Ryou x Joey)
Secondary Ships
(things I will read but I don't write {much, or anymore, in some cases} for one reason or other)
Wishshipping (Joey x Yugi)
Powershipping (Kaiba x Marik)
Graceshipping (Ishizu x Ryou)
Doubtshipping (Kaiba x Ryou x Marik)
Petshipping (Duke x Kaiba x Joey)
Axisshipping (Kaiba x Siegfried)
Angstshipping (Ryou x Marik)
Irateshipping (Marik x Joey)
Buddyshipping (Joey x Tristan)
Heartshipping (Yugi x Ryou)
Fragileshipping (Yami Yugi x Ryou)
Changeshipping (Duke x Marik)
Logicshipping (Priest Seto x Priestess Isis)
Gemshipping (Ryou x Thief King Bakura)
Thiefshipping (Yami Bakura x Marik)
Candleshipping (Kaiba x Ryou x Yami Bakura)
Antagoshipping (Kaiba x Yami Bakura)
Corruptshipping (Priest Seto x Thief King Bakura)
Stoicshipping (Kaiba x Priest Seto)
Shimmershipping (Duke x Mokuba)
Guardshipping (Kaiba x Roland)
Senetshipping (Ishizu x Duke)
Angelicshipping (Ryou x Rafael)
Mercuryshipping (Kisara x Kaiba x Ishizu)
Entrepreneurshipping (Duke x Kaiba x Siegfried)
Unnamed (Aigami x Marik x Yami Bakura)
Scholarshipping (Kaiba x Ishizu x Ryou)
There's also plenty of random unnamed poly ships that I want to play around with in one-shots, usually a combo of my top six fave characters.
#rose talks#my ships#ship list#creating this post just to link to it in my pinned post. don't mind me.#i might add a third section called “i just think they're neat”#what happened with thiefshipping is that I worked really hard on a one-shot for it and was pretty proud of it#but then it got like no attention and i figured my characterization must have been way off#so i didn't try to write it again after that#i wrote a lot of Marik one-shots a long time ago but I don't think my characterization of him was actually that good#that's why i haven't really written him outside of Rock Bottom in a long time#if you put kaiba ryou duke joey marik in a jar and jumble them all up and pour 2 or 3 of them out. i ship anything that comes out.#almost the same if you replace marik with ishizu but i don't see her and joey working out (unless maybe to gang up on kaiba)#currently intrigued by the idea of kaiba/ryou/ishizu and i would call that scholarshipping if the name wasn't already taken#also just discovered mercuryshipping and i think that would be so fascinating#i think guardshipping can easily be problematic but it doesn't have to be. i think it can be kinda sweet if done right.#re: the mokuba ships i've had someone tell me that shipping child characters with anyone is gross EVEN IF you age them up and um no#every adult ever is an aged-up child. that's how life works.#i'm so much more interested in mokuba as an adult than as a child anyways. just purely from a character perspective#because damn. who knows what this boy will become. ya know? it's about the potential
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So the critics were right about the secret history... It was good.
#i don't have the energy to put an in depth review#but basically it made me feel contradictory emotions which I love in a book#also the very last part?#I bet there's a least one person who wrote a full fantasy sequel lmao#but it's a good end like that#ALSO#can someone explain to me how the dark academia aesthetic trend#which I believe is greatly inspired by this book#somehow managed to understand nothing of it?#i know why#capitalism#not but seriously i kinda understand romanticising old university buildings after having seen trinity college with my own eyes#(because let me tell you before my french ass and our ugly ass universities was confused as hell lmao)#but it's so empty#also romanticising elitism fucking sucl#but anyway#also why did the whole thing had a revival in the late 10s?#kinda curious#anyway yes it was great reading#the descriptions were indeed magnificent#and everything i was waiting for happened#misc#the secret history
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Mom: “God why do you give up so easily you can’t expect to be perfect immediately”
well you see mother when I’m not perfect immediately you burst into flames and bite my head off
#Angery#Ranting time but I’m getting yelled at for missing an “easy” mcat question#For misunderstanding how it was written/what it was asking#Like I’m looking at the answer explanation which was basically “it’s correct bc it’s the right answer :)”#And no one’s talking abt it on the internet#So made the fatal mistake of making an off handed comment abt how subjective some of these answers can be#To which she demands to read it and try to “help”#Then is getting angrier and angrier when telling me why it’s correct in a progressively louder voice doesn’t make me instantly get it#Like HEY! I KNOW I made a mistake! If I was perfect at it I wouldn’t need to practice!#That is the WHOLE POINT#But yelling at someone abt it isn’t going to make them ~better~#Also side note but bringing up a creative writing award I won in 10th grade as evidence of how I should be “better than this” is like wtf#Yes I won an award bc the teacher liked me and I wrote some bullshit#It’s not exactly reading an mcat level psychology/sociology passage#once again remembering why I hated those few years of being homeschooled
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Gushing about Gojo and Megumi and how they are or could have been everything to me I forgot to mention that I really really really love Yuuji. Like, a lot
#His attempt at reaching out to Sukuna‚ saving him and living with him#and how we see can see here and there moments in which he tries to reason with him from the very beginning#is one of my favorite things in JJK#It moves me a lot. It fits Yuuji a lot#But it fits the constant theme in JJK about how curses and people are not that different so much as well#Yuuji in the conditions of his existence looks at himself and then regards Sukuna#and the difference he sees is a faint line between them drawn out of merely being... lucky. Lucky enough to have someone supporting you#So he asks. Over and over. Let's try. Let's try again. This time it can be right. I know you could love flowers and haiku and company#I know you fear death. I will keep you company in life. Let's try again#But Sukuna owns it like Tirso de Molina's Don Juan does#I don't know. I love Itadori a lot#Their dynamic is truly something else. I wish it could be better#Damn I guess I just don't like shonen. The potential is amazing but damn why is it so unsatisfactory#Talking about best potential ever but unsatisfactory sorry to gush over Megumi and Gojo again#but the apparent parallel between them is arriving me off the wall#Megumi's mention to how it's the three of them reminded me of Gojo's similar comment to Ijichi and Shoko when he learnt Nanami had died#I live for these things. I wish there was enough to actually sustain me#I talk too much#I should probably delete this later#Also Gojo found her mother. She said she didn't care but he did. Just in case I suppose?#Perhaps to give her the chance if she did care after all. And I don't know. I don't know. I guess... This is it. This is why I love him#Despite everything he does care. And does take care of things. In his way. Uncouth. Weird. Irresponsibly. But he does#And Megumi laughs#Despite how his world crumbled he laughs. Because of something he wrote. Because of Gojo keeping his promise#In the worst most absurd Gojo way possible. But there he is. Taking care of it as he said he would. Telling him about it#And Megumi laughs. Because that's just so Gojo. Megumi laughs. And it's a sight to behold#And this is it. This is what Gojo could have been. What he was. But the glimpse of what could have been sooo deep when it comes to Megumi#And this is why I love him and them so much. And why the undeveloped potential breaks my ribs so severely#They could have been everything to me! They could have been everything at all! One of the dynamics ever!#Even if it had been nothing! Even in the nothingness! For the nothingness itself. Like the nothingness of this letter! Perfect example
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The multiple miki thing might be because Miki could've been based on Charizard M and that thing is known for cloning itself.
Tbh i cant fault shadowmalerenamon for completely changing doors open when rewriting it. Having missingno be the main antagonist was miles better than how Steve was in the original.
( mention of suicide ig )
i respectfully disagree . i see where you're coming from but i think all of the rewritten strangled... duology i guess bc strangled red itself never got one
( thank fucking god to be honest. it needs No change. although at the same time its kind of funny it never got one bc its the most popular one and going more into him as a Person if smr didnt fuck it up would be nice ... but im too attached to my own interp based off of his canon implications to care about what smr kind of has to give. and he already did that in og strangled red, to a degree, although it focuses on the tragedy there is character stuff to be extrapolated from the implications of the story if youre very deeply ill. like me. )
- is a lot less character-focused, at least on steven specifically, and is focused on explaining or rewriting shit that never needed to be explained or rewritten. it is a revisit and reinterpretation of the story, that to me, is just purely kind of . Not good or fun to read. and the new shit it introduces is fucking stupid imo. steven being banished by the town instead of... fucking. killing himself ( especially specifically by cop. that's lame and way more boring + FUCK THE POLICE !!! + It feels out of character for steven he would just do it himself like actually. Also yk. hanging yourself is narratively thematic and ironic. ) or whatever goes so much harder .
guy who loves his town and home region and wanting to be a role model and wanting to be cool so badly being driven mad and then the entirety of kanto, his homeland, forsaking him and walling him off goes crazy . Also because it implies they're scared of him to some degree which also makes me go crazy as an implication.
[ more put below bc i love to fucking yap about strangled red and how much i dont like the rewrites ]
i Will not step down from 'the rewrites arent good' . Doors open is mostly bad because stevens characterization is garbage. even though its random and from left field ( why the fuck is he in sprout tower ) it couldve been handled well if it was written better characterization-wise.
also i supposed the 'M charizard makes sense. not. not really i don't actually think smr thought that through. if he did, which he couldve because she is named #'M# in Strangled Red, cool, but i still think it's just to make the "miki" name thing with 4 party members he has. which is cool admittedly. it's just that i hope it is never explained why he has 4. and it never has since, doors open rewrite didnt do anything with that thank god.
and bc he wouldnt have any other mon other than miki post-incident and afaik that thing only replaces existing partymembers, and steven canonically releases all his team in SR + pokemon avoid him. but yea. Doors open i treat as a 'spinoff' in a sense bc nothing from it really makes sense when properly thought through, and its basically there to make the lost silver crossover i feel. also, yk, he literally says "Never." in strangled red when you press switch on 'M / missingno/revived/whatever you want to call miki post revival. its kind of out of character for canon-compliant steven to have anything other than miki post-incident for these 3 reasons - i only made a team for him post incident bc im autistic about pokemon and pokemon teams so that was for fun.
basically it makes more plotholes and questions than not the more strangled reds plot stuff tries to be explained or added upon esp in the remakes which i think are not fun reads if you like steven as a character anyways. and also bc strangled and doors open in the ogs are easter eggs. trying to explain what is supposed to be an in universe easter egg in pokemon would obviously be kind of a lesson in futility. not. not exactly but at least in the way smr does it.
strangled makes sense, you just go to his fucking house and hes there. yea. doors open is like. Yea hes in johto now. dont ask. but its also easily explainable as... He just fucked off to johto. For what reason? idk. hates kanto bc theyve forsaken him and banished him to the Woods, just wanted fresh air i guess, or just for fun. these are all more plausible reasons.
iirc the rewrite doesnt even say why hes there and if it does the reason is convoluted and not needed. i think its just 'hes a ghost hallucination... thing??? following the mc which is the most boring route to go for with steven and the most uninspired thing ever, and missingno was not the antagonist just a plot device in the og story Why are we focusing on it so much.' and its still a plot device in the rewrites! it isnt explained ( good the explanation would be kind of awful ) and i cant see any good way to explain missingno other than the way i do as a fun idea. which is biased but the 'failed clone of mew number 3' is a fun idea.
this is an insane ramble from a deranged person. if you can't tell i fucking love steven as a character and smr does him dirty except in strangled red, really. strangled... is fine but bc he barely talks in that one and when he does its like. yea. that checks out.
no hate to you btw none of it was directed at you specifically just smr and strangled reds various canons. you just gave me an excuse to ramble about how much i dislike the remakes tbh. I fucking LOVE analyzing why i hate things esp involving steven bc hes not greatly written by his og creator and not often greatly written by the fandom either .
#wispy chatters#ask#answered#As you can tell i do not like the remakes.#or doors open but doors open is at the very least funny to read bc of. [ gestures at s!3v3n/steven ]#Steven is once again shafted as a character!!!!!!! It is likely made out of spite!!! Etc!!! At least DO is funny !#also i just dont think doors open needed a rewrite. smr admitted himself that it was a very dogshit story#ALSO ALSO stevens characterization once again teeters to IM CRAZY IM INSAAANE INSAAANE ASYLUM in the remakes.#and steven being a kind of weird hallucination. ghost. Kid. instead of a guy whos still alive but just forsaken and not himself is boring.#the rewrites feel like a netflix adaptation. if that makes sense. like a really bad netflix adaptation that adds things for the shock of it#that truly is just how they feel. that is the best way for me to Describe how they feel.#ok ill stop now. but the remakes will never do SR justice. SR is the better story of all official strangled red shit#and it was made in like 2011.#smr isnt bad at writing but by god 3/4 times he sucks at characterizing steven .#disagreeing with the author of your favorite media is the worst thing ever it fucking sucks you wrote it why dont you Get it.#when fanfic more deeply explores and answers questions in a satisfying way youre kind of fucked#and this is from someone who is neutral-to-dislike on fanfic fandom and also ao3 in general. fuck that site#which tbf a lot of his tag on there isnt... great. but theres a handful of great hidden gems#anyways read faulty on ao3#not maintagging this bc i dont want to argue this point. i could debate it but my stance wouldnt change trust me.#plus i hate maintagging its why all my hc or fic posts are strangled red steven adn not strangled red#if you like the rewrites i think youre wrong. but i respect your opinion. i respectfully disagree basically.#once again no hate to the asker you just gave me an excuse to ramble bc i love analyzing what i dislike in writing
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I'm just spending this fine Thursday evening thinking about how I always see childfree memes about how nice it is to have extra money to yourself to travel and pursue hobbies and have nice things and how I live paycheck to paycheck often not having enough to cover my bills on time but at least I'm not paying for child related expenses on my paycheck which led to me thinking about how my sister told me my mom and dad got married because my mom wanted kids despite the fact they didn't love each other and apparently planned to have kids on purpose despite the fact they were poor and had only recently gotten sober (they met in aa lmao) and you know those families that can't provide financially for their children but love them to death and are emotionally there we weren't one of them so they just emotionally and physically abused me and my sister to the point we haven't talked in 3 months and I've only seen them 3 times in 9 years and what was the reason you wanted kids and couldn't provide anything for them I remember watching a tyler perry movie with my mom once and a character was talking about how how she was molested by her mom's boyfriend and my mom turned to us and said see some mom's are a lot worse like not allowing your children to be raped is not a flex I know it sounds like I'm coming down hard on my mom but long term followers also know I have smoke for my father this just isn't a post about him for once
#also I wasn't molested but I had a cousin say he wanted to rape me in the ass but he died so now I'm not allowed to tell anyone but y'all#lmao but the situation is not funny#don't mind me I'm just having a mental breakdown I could have avoided if I went to bed when I was sleepy#I'm literally professionally diagnosed pysch ward shorty traumatized#remembering the nurse that shamed me for going back to the pysch ward a year later the second time I was going to kill myself#because one why would you say that to someone in the er that was going to kill themselves#because that's exactly what my mother would have said to me if she knew#I should have did it#maybe if I did it big like jumped off a bridge and they wrote about how nice of a person I am she would have fet bad#I don't want to just die I want someone how treated horrible to for once feel bad about it#what is it about me that makes other people bring me down to this place where I feel like I'm unworthy of basic human kindness#like I'm less of a person#can some just tell me they love me like not romantically just like I'm a person that can be loved as friend and a daughter and a person#what was the reason what did you gain#actually cptsd#cptsd#rape tw ///#suicide tw ///#rants#stream of consciousness
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Using this as an audio reference for the posts I'm making, but to summarize:
Yuri starts out mad.
Yuri tries to calm himself down with a deep breath to ask for details instead of going through it angry.
Flynn doesn't say "like a good knight" in the sense of putting himself down. He simply says "as a knight" (the tl here doesn't use that, but with that included it's basically along the lines of "even though I had doubts, as a knight, I was determined to follow my orders").
Once Yuri has answers he calms down significantly.
Yuri uses " 'ttaku", which is a shortened down version of "mattaku" (Yuri often shortens words and speaks very casually), which in this particular situation basically would mean "geez", or "good grief". In this manner, it's expressive of exasperation/frustration/etc.
Yuri never mentions that "Flynn told him what to do" like the dub does (because in fact Flynn did not ever tell Yuri what to do. He only gave Sodia and his other knights orders. He expressed his own desire to take responsibility, but never told Yuri and his friends what to do).
At this point you can tell the anger has gone out of him and that he's calmed down, now that Flynn is approaching this with admission and responsibility.
Sodia is asking that Flynn returns as soon as possible (I believe this was a general translation error).
Flynn's thank you to Yuri is tonally much more heartfelt.
Yuri's response and gratefulness at Flynn coming back to himself is tonally much more heartfelt, relieved and sincere.
#GTF Vesperia Clips#basically the dub version is littered with errors /and/ your regular resident angry dub Yuri#just to be clear on mattaku it can also mean ''completely'' ''totally'' ''seriously'' etc. it depends on the context#''yare yare'' is also used for ''geez'' and ''good grief'' but in a more sarcastic/casual way#''mattaku'' or in this case '' 'ttaku'' is more of a quiet expression of exasperation rather than smth you'd yell/shout when aggravated#it CAN sometimes be used like damn as a minor expletive but tbh I personally I wouldn't put it in this situation#bc his aggravation is lessening and they're getting to the point so I'd argue it's more just exhausted of the whole thing#but the dub took it a step further and used it as fuel against Flynn as they do mcfuckin' do#I'd say it's more ''damn it'' at the whole situation bc there's absolutely no reason at this point to say ''damn it Flynn''#esp bc that led into the dub having Yuri go at him accusing him of telling them what to do when he... literally did not#and did not even imply he was going to. it was just pulled from their asses and/bc Yuri never even said Flynn's name there#it's stuff like this where they add remove and change things always in stark opposite of Flynn's favor that riles me up :/#what I mean is that the dub changed Yuri's overall exasperation into smth accusatory when rly Yuri is like#stop trying to do this by yourself. it was never about oh woe is me how dare you tell us what to do#if he was directing a ''damn it'' at Flynn it STILL would not be bc ''he told them what to do''#it would STILL BE because Flynn was trying to take this responsibility fully onto himself#it's so irritating bc the dub will be spot on right on point with everything but then AS SOON as it's abt Flynn it's like#they start messing around with things and the tl is changed and yadda yadda until around late arc 2#it like lowkey comes across as enemy to ally instead of ally with a whole character arc#and the reason I legit feel like they did it on purpose is BECAUSE they can obviously tl correctly based on other areas of the game#but when Flynn is involved they tweak things if not just outright change the context (remember my Nordopolica post? yeahhhh)#how is that not on purpose? how is it that everything can be spot on for a chunk all at once#but then a certain char shows up and it's repeatedly inaccurate? repeatedly geared in a negative light that originally didn't even EXIST?#and then ofc they almost always use Yuri himself to reflect that negativity against Flynn which is a WHOLE other story/issue for me#it's like... say I wrote a neutral statement. someone comes along and tls with negative sounding additions. it's sort of like that#I'm not that good at explaining things/how I feel abt things but yeah I hope that makes sense#it's just like... I KNOW they can tl spot on so when I keep seeing them stick in all these things with/against Flynn it upsets me sm#it feels like they tl normally and then see Flynn and go oh hold on let's change that bc it's Flynn#and that's why it's so frustrating for me :/
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came to the startling realization just now that there are people who actually think light was totally fine and all his evilness came from the death note. ermmm. loud incorrect buzzer
#i definitely agree that the death note's power probably made him worse. but he was bad before that guys....#i mean i guess i cant totally get mad at those people since the yotsuba arc does show us a light w/o memories of being kira who is like.#pretty ok and is like n-no i could never be kira!!1! :(( so i could see how someone who isnt reading too deep into it could think that#but like. as far as i can recall we dont get tooooo much of light's inner thoughts during that time#so honestly you could totally assume for a lot of moments that he's just doing his thing hes ALWAYS done of pretending to be nice/''normal'#its hard to say. but i really doubt that light was totally good beforehand is whats supposed to be intended LOL#esp since like. he came up w the new world thing IMMEDIATELY after getting the death note#we know he was thinking about stuff like that beforehand. we can argue about semantics of how much of light's corruption is from the note#itself but you are not gonna sit here and tell me that just touching it instantly makes you evil. cmon now thats just not true#he sucks with or without the death note. it just gave him a tool to enact his suckery. it enabled him#serena.txt#death note posting#also i saw someone claim that the author said somewhere that L didnt mean his statement about light being his one true friend#LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER. sorry buddy you never said that in the text itself and wrote shit that very much indicates otherwise so you're not#allowed to say that after the fact. death of the author + the final arc you wrote was bad + you're homophobic so why would i even listen to#you + L + ratio#L viewed light as his friend. sorry!
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Idk about y’all, but throughout my schooling from second grade to present day in college, I have been taught the idea of “show dont tell”. So I would LOVE to know where other writers and authors missed that lesson.
#I mean did they just not understand???#why is this happening#who is teaching them this#I’m talking to you new remake of alta#atla#I’m talking to you person who wrote the past several romance novels that my friend has recommended to me#books#the point is you write about how the person does things and their characterization so the audience can see it and you are showing it to us#instead of just telling me what’s happening in words#it’s not difficult and it makes me so mad I am full of anger#someone make this stop oh my god#some of these shows I’m watching are driving me nuts like if I wanted to hear the plot I’d get an audio book I wanted to watch this stuff#tv recommendations#great tv shows#tv shows#anyway#alcohol was consumed in the making of this post
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i love to find a nice spot at the library and take out all my books and load up my laptop and open all my tabs and assignments and then pack up and leave immediately
#all in a days work :) think i might take a nap#i didn’t NOT do anything. i wrote down a list of everything due this week which let me tell you is a task onto itself and a very harrowing#one too i’m only a small and tiny sort of thing so u can imagine how hard it is for me#someone asked me for directions i’m changing topics right now someone asked me for directions to the restroom and i hope i was okay at it#i hate giving directions and i think this magnetizes ppl to me the amount of times i’ve been asked to give directions. wow. i don’t think i#look like a girl who knows where she’s going so i’m mildly confused on why strangers choose me to point them the right way. i think the whol#e process of giving directions is hugely embarrassing for me bc i can see them become more confused as i talk anyway. peace and love nothing#says monday like giving up immediately xoxo
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My most interacted with fics:
Cocky Bastard Vibes (Zhongli)
Tipsy Tales (Anemo boys)
Why He Rejected You (pt 1)
Telling Them Off (Ayato, Venti, Xiao)
A Sight to Behold (Yae Miko)
Obvious (Neuvillette)
Simple (Alhaitham)
What Destiny Has Brought (Fischl)
Why He Rejected You (pt 2)
Blasphemous Assumptions (Zhongli)
#personal#cocky bastard vibes is the least surprising thing on this list. it's the fic that convinced me to turn off my notifications haha#if you're a fan of this fic tho you can expect the spiritual sequel to be getting posted as the next chapter in the bookkeeping!series#tipsy tales is also not surprising. tumblr really likes low effort posts like those#i'd really love to expand on xiao and the traveler's one someday#why he rejected you (pt 1) shocked me when i first posted it because i expected people to hate it haha#i posted it to make a point because i was feeling petty at some of the character portrayal i was seeing#another reason i was shocked is bc pt 2 has all the popular characters but did worse than pt 1#i thought itd be reversed#telling them off is really shocking tho bc other than the ayato fic the other two fics SUCK HAHA#venti's is barely anything and xiao's portrayal is SO BAD. 'secret identities' is a way better portrayal of him#a sight to behold is also shocking because the genshin fandom on tumblr only like men#this fic is my most self-indulgent of them all because i am a SIMP. i really like the sequel to this fic tho#for 'obvious' every time i read that fic i'm surprised at how decent the ending is bc i fully admit i rushed it#but it's a typical romance (atypical for me) so it's not surprising it's on here#'SIMPLE' PISSES ME OFF. THAT FIC DOES NOT DESERVE THAT MANY NOTES. made me so mad 😡#'what destiny has brought' tho... that's the most shocking. like don't get me wrong it's a good fic but.... FISCHL??????#fun fact i literally cannot stand fischl. she's so irritating. i wrote that fic bc i couldn't stand the ending to her summer fantasia event#'she truly became fischl' BUT SHE'S LITERALLY NOT FISCHL??? she's living a lie???#she pretends to be someone else because she hates herself so much. instead of encouraging her delusions shouldnt we like???#give her some self-esteem and show her amy is worthy of love?#BUT THAT'S JUST ME#anyway 'blasphemous assumptions' is not surprising. it's not my favorite but it's definitely of the funnier in the bookkeeping series#out of all these fics 'what destiny has brought' and 'obvious' are my recommendations#one day i wanna do my lowest ranking fics because those are my favorite
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