#can someone please explain what I’m looking at?

[tojipie]

Crybaby gf x Toji explains my life so simply, and I’ve been reading them like once since day omg. I’m so obsessed with it. I was wondering if i could please request one where someone is passive aggressive towards her, maybe someone from the zenin clan?

content: crybaby reader, violence, blood, fighting, (happy ending :3 !) ˚ ✧ ───

what i've come to accept is that I simply cannot stop writing toji resorting to violence when reader's feelings get hurt

It had been years since Toji had attended a family event like this. a clan reunion dinner of sorts. You’d been cautious after receiving a sealed envelope with the Zenin crest last month, reluctantly passing it to Toji after he’d gotten home from work.

“How do they know where I fucking live… freaks,” he mutters, eyes scanning the parchment before blowing wide after reading what the invite was for.

“Wait, Naoya's engaged?” he laughs, folding the letter up and handing it back to you. 

Naoya. You'd heard that name once or twice from him. Never anything good.

“What's so funny?” you ask.

“Nothing," He laughs. "Just didn’t think it’d be to a woman.”

˚ ✧ ──────────

Toji pulls your seat out for you, letting you scooch in until your stomach presses up against the table. The raven-haired man settles in the seat next to you with a sigh, drumming on the table absentmindedly as the rest of his estranged family files in.

You feel ten, maybe fifteen pairs of emerald eyes bore into you in the few moments it takes for everyone to settle. Servants in black and white uniforms weave in and out of the room, their heads low as they hand out drinks.

The family had barely tolerated Toji for years. The family reject bringing an outsider as his plus one clearly wasn't helping. You brace yourself for the cacophony of whispers from the other women at the table, slinking into your seat to try and appear smaller. 

Except, the insults never come. A certain lithe blond had already captured the room’s attention, graciously greeting each guest with a confident smile. 

“You’ve grown so much Naoya.” An older woman gushes, patting his cheek. He accepts the affection warmly. 

He seems nice enough, you think to yourself. Watching as his smile morphs into a look of disgust as soon as she sits back down. 

Right, never cast judgment too quickly.

Naoya acts fast, snatching a perfectly folded handkerchief from his suit’s front pocket, to scrub the spot she’d touched. He tosses the fabric to a passing waitress, stealing a glass of wine off of her serving platter before downing the entire thing in two gulps.

So this was the infamous blond. Toji’s bratty cousin and subsequent family nemesis. Interesting. 

"So where's his fiance?" You whisper to Toji, trying to make yourself small at his side.

"Dunno," he snorts, "They probably won't meet each other til' their wedding day." He explains. Weird.

Newly inspired, you decide to take a sip from your own glass, wincing at the harsh aftertaste that blooms on your tongue. 

“Too strong?” Toji asks softly. You nod sheepishly, thanking him as he switches your glass for his cup of water.

“Definitely the real stuff.” You mutter, trying not to gag. 

“They’ve been aging this stuff since he was born,” Toji explains. “Family tradition, everyone gets a barrel that the family cracks open at one point or another.”

“So when are we opening your barrel?” 

Toji pauses, a faint playful smile on his lips.

“Shit, you think the family dud gets a barrel?” He doesn’t look hurt at the admission, but the creases around his eyes tell a different story.

An older man saunters up to the two of you, clapping Toji on the back before you can say anything.

“How long has it been my boy?” He exclaims, pulling the younger man into a hug and stepping back to give him a once-over.

Maybe an uncle, you think. They share the same hearty laugh.

Toji chuckles, the corner of his mouth lifting. “Couple years at least.”

“This your lady?” The older man asks, shooting you a wink. 

Strange, you realize this is the first anyone in the room besides Toji had acknowledged you tonight. 

“You know it,” Toji remarks fondly, laughing as the Uncle makes a quip you can’t quite hear before returning to his seat.

Nayoa kisses his teeth loudly, locking eyes with you from across the table. His words are loud when he cuts in, the room going silent as he speaks.

“So were you trying to water down your bloodline when you chose her?” A few partygoers laugh. 

Your eyes frantically scan the room, confirming your worst fear. Almost everyone was laughing at the two of you. Your vision blurs as tears gather in the corner of your eyes.

Naoya smiles coyly, leaning forward as he continues. “Or do you like the thought of children that are as useless as you ar–”

“You shut the fuck up when I’m talking.” Toji seethes, pointing the prongs of his fork in the direction of the blond. You feel every eye in the room bore into the both of you, jagged emeralds picking your every atom apart. Toji doesn’t seem to care, chest heaving as he waits for a response.

Naoya's smile fades. The younger man looks Toji up and down before taking a long sip from his cup of wine.

“I guess we have our answer.” He teases, reveling in the tauntful laughs that his joke earns.

Your stomach churns painfully, eyes zoning in on the glass of wine Toji had stolen from you earlier. Would downing the whole thing somehow get you drunk enough to forget this entire ordeal? If there was a time to leave, it would be now.

“Baby,” you mutter, tugging on the waist of Toji’s dress pants. “Let’s just go.”

“Fuck that,” your boyfriend spits, glaring down his shit-faced little cousin. You glue your eyes to the floor.

“Say it again.” He commands, his tone incredulous.

“What? That whatever spawn you two crank out will be duds?” Naoya asks innocently. “You can’t possibly be mad at me for pointing out the obvious?”

You feel Toji’s warmth leave your side as your boyfriend launches forward, knocking plates out of the way as he barrels over the table and tackles his cousin.

The table erupts in hysterics, the older men in the room urge the two of them to break it up while the women stare into their plates, horrified. You swear you hear a baby crying.

“Let me go you fucking ape!” you hear the blond grunt, driving his knee into Toji’s ribcage repeatedly as your boyfriend attempts to hold him down by the shoulders. Crimson rivets of blood leak down from Naoya's nose, accentuating the cracks in his lips.

You scurry back from the table, hand over your mouth as you take in the debacle. That churning feeling in your stomach has been replaced by something… much different. 

Something thick and viscous in the depths of your soul. Something saccharine sweet that makes your head swim.

Toji looked, for lack of a better word, fucking hot like this.

His hair disheveled and sticking to his forehead, blood splattered across his cheek, face contorted in a manic smile so wide that the corner of his lips threatened to split. And he was doing it in defense of you. His sweet girl.

Your boyfriend manages to pin Naoya’s arm behind his back, pressing his weight forward and bending it at an angle that elicits a yelp from the younger man. Toji grabs him by the scruff of his neck, angling his head so Naoya is forced to look you in the eyes.

“Apologize.” He commands his voice a low, menacing rasp that sends a chill down your spine. The others in the room feel less important as the gravity of the situation washes over you.

Naoya laughs like it's the most ridiculous thing he’s ever heard.

“For what?” he spits, glaring at you through silky black-tipped bangs.

You flinch as the blond’s head is slammed down onto the tablecloth, his cheek squished into the plain linen by a hand large enough to dwarf his entire skull.

“I said, apologize,” Toji states plainly, his tone harsh and unwavering.

Naoya pants, eyes darting around the room as if searching for someone—anyone—brave enough to intervene. No one moves.

The younger man seems to mull it over, giving in as his arm twists to its limit.

“I’'m-- shit! I'm sorry,” He grunts, gasping in relief as your boyfriend releases him from his grip.

The room remains silent. A few relatives exchange horrified glances. The tension is suffocating, yet you can’t help but feel a flicker of triumph.

Toji saunters back into his seat like nothing happened, glancing up through his hair to address the room.

“Eat,” It isn't a suggestion. 

The scraping of utensils against plates resumes hesitantly, the family too shaken to address the elephant in the room.

You sit quietly, your heart still racing. Toji’s hand finds your thigh under the table, his touch firm and grounding. 

The rest of the meal passes in awkward silence, punctuated only by the occasional cough or clink of silverware. Naoya sits at the far end of the table, mercilessly scrubbing at the blood that stains the front of his pristine white dress shirt.

When the meal is over, Toji doesn’t wait for the formalities to begin. He stands abruptly, helping you to your feet. “Get up,” he commands, a tender hand finding its home on the small of your back.

The two of you stride out of the room, the weight of a dozen judging stares on your back. The moment you’re outside, Toji lets out a soft chuckle, the sound rumbling deep in his chest.

“Did you see his face?” he says, grinning like a man who’s just won the lottery. Toji holds his arm behind his back just like he had done to his cousin, forcing an exaggeratedly pained look.

You can’t help it—you laugh, a real, unrestrained laugh that shakes the tension from your body. 

“You’re insane,” you manage between giggles.

"Maybe,” he smirks, wrapping an arm around your shoulders as you walk toward the car. 

[jjkarmy091]

Second Best- Jungkook (part 8 )

Summary: Being friends with someone who has your heart it’s already hard, let alone when that special someone ends up falling in love with your best friend, the one you think would never make anything to hurt you . Will you be able to ignore it and move on? what will happen when everything gets too much for you to handle?

Genre: Friends to lovers; angst; body insecurities; bullying; friend betrayel;

Pairing: Jungkook x female!reader

Wordcount: 5.781

Author's note: It took me a lot but here it is. Got so many blocks writting this and I'm not satified with it. It doesn't matter how many time I write and rewrite it, it feels like it's never good enough but I tried my best so please go easy on me. Hope you like it and let me know if you want a next chapter or not. Also: I'm sorry for any mistakes

Love you loads <3

When Y/n woke up the next morning she could swear her head was gonna fall off. It was one of those headaches it makes you wanna clung onto the bedsheets and never leave ‘till the next day. Flashbacks of the night before went through her brain but she brushed them off. She wanted to enjoy the few days she had taken, yet she’s still thinking about the same. She thought she was doing a good job but Taehyung’s words didn’t really help too, she definitely was going to face Sewoon with all these facts. Y/n always chose kindness over anything else but would all of that have gotten her anywhere? Looking back, she had serious doubts about that. 

Getting up from the bed and heading to the bathroom she notices everything is still very quiet which means Lisa is still asleep. Y/n wants to do something nice for her so she decides to make a huge breakfast once she knows that food is Lisa's undoing and starts preparing things without making too much noise (or at least trying to). Everything’s almost ready when Y/n listens to steps aproaching the kitchen/living room area as she pours some orange juice in Lisa’s cup saying good morning. Lisa looks at her and smiles, answering her back and sitting down.  

“what’s all this?”  

“It’s just a way to thank you for being such a great person to me. I know I've been hard to handle these last days but I want you to know that I truly feel grateful for everything you’ve done for me so far. If it wasn’t for you I don’t know how things would’ve ended up for me, I’d probably be crying in my room, thinking how much I suck because the guy I’m in love with doesn’t love me back” 

“I told you Y/n, it’s completely fine. I always liked you. You bring such a positive vibe and you’re so kind and fun to be around. It’s good to be around you and if I can help you somehow I will.” A few minutes of silence passed until Lisa asked what she was dying to know. “Did you talk to him?” Y/n stops suddenly, swallows hard and shakes her head.  

“No” 

“care to explain why?” 

“I’ve been thinking about your words and you’re right! I have to stop being a pussy and be real with myself and my feelings, not for others but for me. All this mess started because I'm always comparing myself to others all the time. I was so scared that Sewoon and Jungkook would meet and I was the bridge for them to start something. I allowed this. If only I wasn't so afraid and had more confidence in myself maybe it would be me in Sewoon's place and that kills me inside Lisa. For once in my life it would have been simple and sincere and I'm the only one to blame for this."

"What makes you think he was never interested in you Y/n? Because from what you told me it seemed to me that he was quite into you” 

"He definitely wasn't Lisa, you're confusing things. He found my attitude towards him funny when we first met, I don't know. But he never showed any signs, he never said anything and I was afraid of destroying the friendship we were building by saying something. He even used to go on dates. At the end he would go to the coffee shop and we would talk about it and stuff.” 

Lisa frowned “So he went on dates but never hooked up with them afterwards? a boy in his prime, with basic needs and would always come to you afterwards? You never found anything weird?” 

“For what he told me he had just gotten out of a complicated relationship. I think he was more interested in meeting new people, go out for a bit, clear his head.” 

“and come back to you in the end” Lisa mocks while Y/n throws a piece of bread at her, hitting her in the forehead. “Don’t be annoying” 

“Y/n you may not understand much about boys but I do and that's not normal for someone who don't have feelings for you. At best, he would go home.” Y/n drank some of her juice. "stop it! if that was true he wouldn't have gone straight to my supposed best friend. Why would he do that if he was interested in me?  The way he looked at her, how he said she was the best thing that ever happened to him and that he would never be able to love anyone the way he loves her. Not to mention what he did for Sewoon. She told me some things and all I could think about was how I wish it was me instead. I hoped it was me but I'm a coward, that's why I'm still here, 23 years old and a virgin. Even in that regard, Sewoon was lucky.” Y/n looks at her plate, trying to avoid eye contact with Lisa, knowing that would be enough to make her start crying but kept talking

“How she described the way he touched her, grabbed her, how he -- in short, everything. There was this one time she couldn't stop talking about how and where they did it so I invented that I was super busy and couldn't talk so she could leave and I could cry in peace. I swore never again.” 

“After everything Tae told you do you still think things are as Sewoon says?” Y/n didn’t answer, instead she got up and started taking the dishes onto the table, washing them. Lisa got up too, leaving her plate in the sink "always listen to things with a hint of doubt but specially with your heart." Y/n decided to change the subject. 

“What are we doing today?” Lisa laughed “let’s introduce you to this place the right way. See something else than snowboards” With this they got ready for the day. Lisa already knew the place with the palm of her hands so she knew what and where to go with Y/n.  

Even tho her mind was still in another place she actually found herself enjoying their time there. She enjoyed it so much that she didn't even notice the days passing by until the day for them to leave had arrived. Although the first days were complicated now she didn't mind staying another day or two but there were things to fix that she was eager to mend and she wouldn't find the so needed peace she wanted until everything was cleared up.

On their last day there Lisa suggested to go for a hot chocolate where they found Tae and his friend once again. They saw each other a lot during their staying and ended up clearing everything up and agreed that Sewoon was a NO topic. That night they went to a club all together and Y/n remembers having so much fun and getting so drunk that she ended up on top of Tae's friend. (Not the way you guys are thinking, pervs ;)

Y/n already had too much to drink and once they were stepping out of the club she tripped and Tae's friend was there and tried to hold her only for Y/n to bring him down with her. All of them laughed and they even took a picture of them both on the floor in a suspicious position. She just hoped any of it would end up on social media, at least for now because she knew either Sewoon or Jungkook would see it, but of course things never go the way she wanted them too. On their way home Y/n got a notification on instagram saying Taehyung tagged her in a photo so she opened it and saw a set of pictures, the first being Y/n, Lisa, Tae and his friend with drinks on their hands and Tae's arm around Y/n's waist and the second just a photo of Y/n and Tae making a funny face among with other random pics with the caption “Glad to see an old flame again. Loved these days with the best people. Let's repeat it next year” Fuck

She still had two days before going back to work and a few hours' journey ahead of her and the last thing she wanted was to end these wonderful days in an anxiety attack at an airport far from home because of a set of pictures.

It was a peaceful trip, they both took the opportunity to sleep and rest during the flight since when they arrived they had a lot to do. Y/n agreed to move to Lisa's house just as she had proposed. One night before going to sleep she spoke with her landlord and canceled the lease so she had little time to organize her stuff and take them to Lisa's. As soon as the plane landed they looked at each other and smiled, grabbed their things and slowly walked out of the airport where Lisa's father was waiting for them. As soon as they got into the car, Lisa said 

“I'm sad it's over but I'm happy we're getting home. I honestly love traveling but the moment I get to my space and make myself comfortable at home is always the best of all. Speaking of it, we still have to get your things. How about we go to my house, unpack, have lunch and then pack the rest of your stuff? Unless you're tired”

“I agree with you Liz, nothing feels better than the comfort of home, and yes, I was thinking the same. I still have two days before going back to work so I have to make the most of it. Right now, i just really want to eat I’m starving and I can’t function without food” They both laugh. Lisa asked her father to turn on the radio and as soon as he did, Tate mcrae's new song started to play. Needless to say they started singing with all their power until they arrived at Lisa's house. Y/n didn't remember having that much fun, not even with Sewoon and she had known her for years.  

After arriving at the place, her father said goodbye to them and left their bags at the front door so they could unpack them. They decided to order Taco Bell and while they waited for food and for the washing machine to stop, they sat down on the sofa. Y/n was looking at her phone until she heard herself say 

“I don’t know what to do” Lisa gets confused and kept her silence in order for Y/n to say something else, getting comfy on the couch. It took her a while to speak again.

“I-  we got back to reality and I can't ignore the fact that I never spoke to Jungkook again ever since that day. It's making me nervous because my mind is racing 1000 percent, I mean, imagine he no longer wants to talk to me or listen to what I have to say.. In hindsight I should have said something to him but I was so hurt. Furthermore, I received a message from Sewoon asking what the hell I was doing with Tae without telling her. Let's just say it wasn’t a very nice message. What should I do Lisa?” 

“First of all breath Y/n. Being like this won't get you anywhere. Second: I honestly think you should send a text to Jungkook, tell him that you need to talk to him and that you know that ignoring him wasn't the right choice but that there are a lot of things he doesn't know and that it's difficult to explain. Ask him to meet, preferably in a place other than your work because it will draw a lot of attention on you. You still have time to get back to work, make the most of it before - " Before Lisa finished, the washing machine was heard making its characteristic sound and Lisa apologized and said she'd be right back while Y/n continued sitting on the sofa looking stupidly at her phone. Lisa was right, she couldn’t drag this anymore.

“Hi Jungkook, how are you? I hope you’re doing well. I’m doing good. I know i probably kept you up at night, or maybe you didn’t even think of me but still I’m writting this to give you some heads up on why I disappeared the way I did. Truth is, I had a lot going on these last few months and I know that’s not an excuse and I was on the wrong for not replying to your texts but honestly I didn’t know what else to do. I was in a real mess. I still am and the way I thought it was possible to get out of this chaos inside my mind was to escape my reality and move away. I'm sorry, I know I should have said something but I'm ready to explain everything to you now, if you still want to.  

I love you.” 

During the rest of the day Lisa helped Y/n move her things to her new place. The fact that she didn’t have a lot of things made it easier. After that, they went grocery shopping and ended up passing by Y/n’s work and decided to walk in being greeted for her co-worker Sana 

“Ohh well well well. Who do we have here? Good evening lady and welcome back! thought you’d never show your face around here again. I already miss you, how are you doing? And most importantly, when will you return? I'm so tired of putting up with the boss alone, everyday he gets more and more annoying” She says making Y/n and Lisa laugh. 

“It’s been wonderful having some days to actually rest, sad to see it end” Yn says with a smile. “How’s it going around here?” 

“Pretty much the same you know. Had your really hot friend coming over everyday at the same hour he used to come. I guess he didn’t believe me when I told him you took some days off. Weird you didn’t, you guys were so close and were together all the time I thought you’d end up together after he broke things off with Sewoon. The last time I saw him was two days ago with her actually. They came here together.” Y/n’s heart stopped for a second and she had a hard time breathing all of a sudden 

“Together how?”  

“Like I said they came in here together, sat at that table over there and chatted for a while. It was a very busy shift and I was alone here so I couldn’t see or hear a lot. When it calmed down I looked at them, Jungkook was holding her hand and saying something to her while she looked like she was crying or about to. Then I couldn't understand anything else because several customers came in at the same time. When I noticed, he was already coming to pay and Sewoon was at the entrance waiting for him. That day he didn't say anything, he looked somewhere behind me but didn't speak, he just smiled, paid and left but I couldn’t see if he went alone or with her. I’m sorry”  

Of course this was going to happen, all she had to do was disappear for a few days and they wouldn't waste time getting on top of each other. She was so stupid. Was she really worthless? Lisa looked at her worriedly but didn't say anything, simply ordered two drinks while Y/n thanked her and looked out the window. If she had known, she would have enjoyed the trip even more without thinking about those two. She felt bad about leaving Jungkook in a vacuum and he was very much entertained. She always had a tiny bit of hope but what for? Sana had left to prepare their order when Lisa spoke 

“Don't pay attention to it Y/n. It could be many things, you don't know. If he really was with her why was he always coming over and asking about you?” 

“Because that’s what friends are supposed to do Lisa! They worry about each other, which makes sense given how I left the club that night and the fact that I didn't say anything to him in the following days made him think that something bad had happened to me. Everything friendship based.. Maybe that's why he didn't answer me, because he's with her. Sewoon must have shown him the photos we took with Tae on vacation. He was sure I was okay so he moved on with her, again.  

Lisa didn't have the chance to say anything because their order was given to them and they said goodbye to Sana and made their way to the car. Lisa started driving and to get home they had to pass by Y/n's old house. As they approached the road Y/n saw someone she knew very well, Sewoon and next to her was Jungkook in front of her old appartment. As if they could see her, Y/n leaned as far back as she could against the seat.  

""Lisa, for all that is most sacred to you, please don't stop here, don't look, don't do anything other than move as quickly as possible. Don’t ask me anything just go!" 

Always the second, never the chosen, as always. 

-------------------------------------------------------------- 

As they get to their now shared apartment Y/n tells Lisa that she's not hungry and if she doesn't mind she's going to rest because it was a very long day and that tomorrow is the last day and she wants to take the opportunity to organize the rest of her things and relax. Lisa says she doesn't mind at all, that she also feels the same and is going to rest, specially because the next day she has a last minute meeting.

Y/n tried to make Lisa not notice it but she's not stupid. As she drove past Y/n's old building she saw the silhouettes that bothered her so much and all she had to do was put two and two together upon seeing her reaction. The only thing she wanted was to park and give Sewoon a good slap and tell her everything she had been holding back so far.  

After getting home both went to their rooms. Y/n couldn’t get any sleep. She tossed and turned but sleep was far away.  Y/n looked at her phone and still no text or call from Jungkook. Why was she stupid and sent him a text? Clearly he wasn't worried at all, not even an "ok" he had responded. Suddenly she felt her eyes blurry and that was when she realized the tears rolling down her cheeks. She thought she was worth more, even if it was just in terms of friendship. After some time lost in her own thoughts, she decided to put on her headphones and try to get some sleep and managed to do so after a few hours. 

The next day, when she woke up it felt like she had been hit by a bus. Lisa had also gone out to deal with some matters at work, at least she remembered mentioning something about it. Once alone, Y/n had decided to stay in bed. Honestly she wasn't in the mood to do anything else and wanted to take to relax since she was going back to work the next day. Willingness? none. It was going to be hard but the way things were going neither Jungkook nor Sewoon were going to show up there or so she thought.

The next day her alarm went off and Y/n got ready for the day. She was going to do a double shift today since Sana was off, so she was on her own. For some reason she was nervous, it seemed like it was her first day again so her anxiety was on the roof. 

As incredible as it may seem, as soon as she arrived she saw her regular customers greeting her and telling her how much they missed her (most of them elderly people who used to frequent the shop even before she worked there and who had loved her since her first day) relaxed her immediately. Everything went very well. During her break Lisa went to see her and they chatted and drank coffee before going back to do the other part of the shift. Until then, everything was going perfectly. No sign of people she didn't want to see, she hadn't had any rude customers and her boss was in a very good mood. It was all too good to be true since luck is not something that goes on her side. 

Y/n was getting ready to close the shop and at that point she was usually alone. She was putting the chairs on the table when she heard the entrance bell signal that someone else was there with her. When she turned to inform the customer that they were closed, she came across someone she didn't want or even expeected to see.

In front of her was Jungkook with wet hair and helmet in hand. He seemed agitated, confused and angry. Very angry. Y/n couldn't help but notice the dark circles under his eyes as if he hadn't slept in days. She stopped on the spot, what would she say or do? They hadn't seen or spoken to each other for almost a week and the atmosphere was tense and she just wanted to disappear. 

He looked at her with such an intense gaze that she had to turn away while saying "we are closed" and pretended to keep doing what she was doing. 

"Really? After days of complete silence while i was worried sick about you. After leaving without any kind of warning? After that stupid fight on the club and sudden departure with someone that neither Sewoon nor I knew, that's all you have to tell me? we are closed? Are you for real?” 

Y/n stopped doing what she was doing but kept her back to him. It’s a good thing he couldn't see her because her hands were like jelly, shaking so much that she thought she was going to faint right there, however continued to act tough and ignored him, took a deep breath and started walking to the counter until she felt a hand grab her arm.  

“Y/n please stop shitting me. I’ve been going crazy these last few days because of you and you act like you don't care. I don't know what's worse, your attitude or the fact that I don't recognize you at all" and with these words Y/n turned around and looked at him with tears threatening to fall. She released herself from Jungkook's hand and turned completely towards him. She was on the verge of bursting. 

“You. Out of all people YOU are the only one who can't say that. I did everything for you Jungkook. I was always there for you when you needed me, remember? I knew when you were good, when you were sad, when it wasn't the best time to talk and when you wanted to say something but didn't know how. You needed me and I was there but when it was the other way around, were you there for me? Did you care at all?” she sighed “All this because I didn't answer to some calls and texts from you? You were so worried about me that you were always tied to Sewoon, don't tell me you were also worried about me when you were inside her. Be honest Jungkook, you only remembered me when it suited you. Admit it, when it comes to me you don't think twice." 

Jungkook didn't say anything, he looked at her as if she had just stuck a knife into him. He expected everything but this version of Y/n. He had noticed for some time she was different but he never asked her because he didn't want to bring up the subject that was bothering her hoping she’d be the one to open up to him yet it seems like it was a bad decision to wait. Maybe he should have talked to her when he noticed it, he knows he was stupid but he wasn't going to give in now. He was about to speak again when Y/n continued her speech.

“Things weren't supposed to be like this but everything is already ruined so what I'm about to say won't make a difference and honestly I'm tired of staying silent so as not to hurt other people and try to please them. That's why I'm in this shit right now, so here it goes.” Y/n looks him straight in the eyes and more tears run down her face, it's now or never. 

“I’m in love with you Jungkook”

As soon as the words left her mouth, a sob came out as well. This is where it ends and she knows it. His expression changed from angry to pure shock. She knew him very well, but at this moment she couldn't read his thoughts, everything was so confusing, he seemed so confused and she didn't understand why. She was breaking and to avoid even more suffering said

“Please let's not talk about this anymore. Things are pretty obvious and we don't need to drag this out any further. I need to close this Jungkook, I'm tired and I need--" 

“How long Y/n? How long have you felt this way?” Jungkook's look was anything but disappointed. It was a look she couldn't decipher and she also didn't know if she wanted to. Y/n looked down and replied 

“ A few months after we met and started hanging out more” Jungkook turned around and placed his elbows on the counter and his hands resting on his head.  

“And you never thought to tell me? Don't you think that would be a good thing to do?” he sounded so mad. “All this time you had feelings for me and you never said anything, never showed any signs and now I'm the bad guy for moving on with my life? And why you’re talking about Sewoon? We broke things off a long time ago and you know it. You were there!” 

“Ohh please Jungkook, anything but that. I'm not blaming you for anything, in fact, I even supported you, remember ? it was ME who introduced you to Sewoon  because YOU wanted me to! Even if I told you earlier what would change? Every time you came to me it was either because you just had a dinner date or someone had asked for your number. You love to say I'm always on your mind, I guess that I wasn’t on it those nights. I'm just the girl you would share things with and ask for advice, you don't have to be very smart to see that.” 

“Is that why you left without saying anything?” Y/n looked at him and when he saw that he wasn't getting a response, he went to her and got so close that she could see all the moles on his face, some that she hadn't even realized he had.  

“Y/n answer me. It's the least I deserve.” Even though there was some distance between them, Y/n felt trapped so she decided to move away a little, hitting her back on the counter. 

“Yes. After our conversation at the club and the way I saw you look at Sewoon I realized that there was no chance for me, not that I didn't already know, but I got the confirmation that day and the way you were more interested in going to her than hearing me confirmed my guesses once again, yet it was when you went to her and you kissed in the middle of all those people that my heart was left in pieces. I looked at you and instead of being happy that my best friend was back with the girl he's in love with, I just wished it was me in her place. I had to get out of there before everyone saw me break." Y/n cleaned some tears that were running down

"In Sewoon's eyes I'm already pathetic, but in yours? I preferred to die than to know you had that image of me. I went to the bathroom and that's when I met a friend from school, we ended up talking and exchanging contacts. She asked me if I wanted a ride and I took the opportunity to leave, that's when you found me. That night I spent at her house and she made me an offer and invited me to go traveling with her. For my mental health I accepted and only God knows what it cost me not to have said anything to you and I'm really sorry for that, I know it wasn't the right thing to do, but Jungkook you didn't care either because when I texted you back you never answered me. You can't judge my actions after having done the same thing.”

“You could never be pathetic y/n. I've always said how much I admire the way you are and I keep praising that, I would never get that impression of you. I know you went on a trip with Lisa and two other boys, Sewoon had shown me pictures of you, that's why I don't understand Y/n, none of this adds up. And I never received any text from you because unlike you, every day I checked if you had come to work, if you sent anything or if Sewoon knew anything about you. That's the reason I was with Sewoon a lot more these last few days. It's sad that I only found out that you were back because I saw your friend here yesterday, I recognized her from those photos, so I went to her and asked her about you. She told me you were coming back to work today and to show up around this time because you'd be alone. I was crazy looking for you, wondering if you were in a dead end, that's when Sewoon called me saying you were okay, hanging with some guys you probably met there. She also sent me the pictures, that's when I calmed down.”

Y/n didn't know which part made her more shocked, if the fact that Lisa spoke to Jungkook or knowing Sewoon sent the photos to him and omitted the fact that they both know the boy in question.

"Oh my god. After all this time Sewoon is still keeping you in the dark. Well just so you know the guy who posted the pictures is Sewoons ex-boyfriend, the one she left you for. Remember when she broke up with you? Yeah it was because of him. There are definitely things you should clarify with her, as she changes everything that corresponds to reality. Things that don't concern me at all and to be honest I'm tired of this conversation, it doesn't matter anymore. Things happened and it's ove, so if you don't mind it was a complicated day --” She didn't expect Jungkook to get so close to her but the truth is that they were centimeters away from each other and that was making her even more nervous and uncomfortable. She tried to get around him but he put his arms on either side of Y/n's body, trapping her there.  

"Did it work? Did you forget about me there? Did any of those guys help you forget me?”  Y/n had no response, she was completely surrendered to looking between his eyes and lips. She wasn't brave enough to grab him and kiss him, specially since he was still fooling around with Sewoon or so she thought, even tho the denied it. Still she wouldn't feel good doing that even if Sewoon hadn't been the best friend, so she did what she does best, avoided the interaction.  

“"I had fun and regardless of things I don't owe you any kind of explanation. I finally learned my lesson and you're not the exception, Jungkook. You're the rule and I don't give second chances to get me hurt, not even to you. I don't want to continue in this agony every time I see you and ask myself why others and not me? It took me a long time to get there but I finally managed to understand that as long as I don't like and accept myself as I am, neither will others and for that reason I ask you not to come here again. This is a closed subject and one that I want to bury.”  

“We’re not done having this conversation Y/n, I have to tell you some-”  

“Yes we are Jungkook, don’t you get it? I just told you I’m in love with you. My best friend who’s in love with my other best friend, who's still into her ex boyfriend. Did you even hear what I said about Sewoon?"

" I don't care about Sewoon,Y/n. Don't you fucking get it? All this time the only person on my mind was you. I tried really hard not to call you because why would I need to know where you were or who you were with. In your eyes I dated your best friend but in my eyes the only thing that connected me to her was you."

"Lisa has been fixing something she didn’t break because of how weak I was to stand for myself. I’m tired of being this innocent and naive girl everyone can step on. I'm not blaming you Jungkook, you didn't know and things turned out this way and it's okay. It's over and I think it's the best for you and me. I’ll be here if you need something but right now I don’t want to be around you. I need to fix myself before being there for you or Sewoon again and if you really care about me you’ll respect that” 

“Y/n, you're not understanding I--"

“Please Jungkook, just go. Let me do this for me and maybe we can talk about this in the future and laugh about it.” He didn't say anything else, he swallowed hard, shook his head, picked up his helmet and left, slamming the door loudly and that's when y/n collapsed. 

"I love you Jungkook. I love you so much but I can't be your second option." Y/n said as she slid down the wall, succumbing to the pain of something she never had.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

tags: @esposadomd @joonlover1207 @eegyo @furrywonderlandwolf @minghaosimp @differentrunawayperson @nikkinikj @jksusawife @jk97bam @cryingoverpixelsetc @bhonbhon @lostinneocity @almostpurplelady @meowforluv @imagine-this-motherfucker @jk-190811 @cryingoverpixelsetc @11thenightwemet11 @rinkud @ayatie97 @jk-190811 @shaku1995

[penelopeswifey]

ACCIDENTALLY YOURS!

CHAPTER 3 — WEIRDO!

a/n: so.. hey.. happy new year.. merry christmas... happy halloween. I'm SORRY FOR SAYING ID UPDATE MORE THEN LEAVING AND NEVER COMING BACK. I really forgot about Tumblr after a few days ☹️☹️ but HERE I hope you all had a good 2024 and a even better 2025!!

You just sat on your chair, contemplating life while deciding if you even wanted to live it

This is so humiliating.

Just when you thought your day couldn't get worse, you got a notification from someone you would rather die than talk to.

There is no fucking way.

Y/N stared at their phone screen, frozen.

" Funny how you kept whining about how overrated I was, wanna talk about those stories you've made? "

No. No. No.

The words burned into your brain as you read them over and over again. Scaramouche. THE Scaramouche.. The idol you dragged through the mud on countless streams and tweets. The same idol who was, apparently, now aware of your other identity.. the anonymous fanfiction writer who had single-handedly written half the internet’s “Scaramouche x Reader” content. The same person who shitted on him so much time!

You dropped your phone onto the desk and buried your face in your hands. Nope. This isn’t real. This is all a dream. It can’t be real. Why would it be real? There’s no way this is real. But when you peeked through your fingers, the message was still there, on the phone like it demanded your attention.

“Why.. why is this happening to me?” you whispered to yourself. Your brain was screaming at you to respond, but also screaming at you to jump out of your window where you could die or move to the countryside and become a farmer. But your fingers refused to move. What could you even say?

" Haha, just a prank, broski! " No, too weird. Who the hell says that.

" That wasn't me!.. " Yeah, because your whole stream was definitely ai generated.

No, none of this would work.

Maybe you could ignore it. Pretend you didn’t see the message. But what if he posted about it? What if he already had? But, he couldn't right?! He's an idol.. but just out of paranoia, you frantically opened Twitter, scanning his feed. Nothing. Yet.

Dropping your phone back onto the desk, you screamed into your hands begging to be taken out. But you were going through that crisis, your phone buzzed again. Another message.

“Oh no, oh no, oh no,” you muttered as you grabbed their phone.

Please don't be him again.

" I have to say, you’ve got quite the imagination. Because some of those scenarios? Bold. "

Your soul left your body. He read them. He actually read them. How many? Which ones? Did he see the one where he- no. nope, nope, nope. don't you dare think about that.

Your thumbs hovered over the keyboard, shaking. After a deep breath, you typed something anything- to atleast be able to solve this issue!

“ I can explain? 😁.. "

The response was immediate.

"Oh, please do. I'm very interested. "

You let out a strangled noise somewhere between a groan and a scream. Why did he have to be so smug about this?! This was his fault!, with his stupid face and his stupid voice and his stupid way of being the perfect material to write about! This is all his fault he knows damn well how he's acting In front of the camera does he expect no one to be taking one for the team and writing about him?!

“Look,” you typed, trying to sound calm, “it’s not like I’m the only one who writes this stuff. You just happened to find mine. "

His reply came in less than ten seconds.

“ Not hard to find when you've basically written half of the internet's fanfiction about me. "

You nearly chucked your phone across the room. Yes, death is definitely a better option, where's the nearest window? You couldn't even think straight before you typed back and sent

“You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?” you shot back

“ Oh, absolutely. This is the best thing I’ve seen all week. Do you always write such... intense stuff, or was it just for me? "

There's no coming back from that. You groaned, slamming your head onto the desk. There was no way you were living this down. Ever.

Driven by emotions instead of rationality, you texted back.

“I hate you.”

Another buzz.

“Doesn’t seem like it, judging by what you've written about me. "

You let out a soundless scream, shoving your chair back and pacing around the room, making laps as you ran around the house. Your heart was racing, your face felt like it was on fire.. out of embarrassment of course, NOT because you're interacting with THE scaramouche- the same one who in your fics did- yeah, stop.

Ignoring the continuous buzz of notifications erupting from your phone, you finally sat down from running laps and thought to yourself, knowing you just pulled yourself in a hole you sure as hell won't be escaping anytime soon.

He wasn't going to let this go, was he?

—

ACCIDENTALLY YOURS!

SYPNOSIS: You, a well-known streamer, have always kept your two hobbies separate. By day, you entertain thousands with your snarky commentary, but by night, you secretly write. fanfiction about your favorite idol, Balladeer. It was a guilty pleasure—until a late-night stream led to a slip of the tongue and exposed your secret to the world!

In a single moment of poor judgment and a misclick, which by the way was totally not your fault!.. I think.. clips and memes about you spread like wildfire! It was embarrassing enough for everyone to know about your fanfiction, but it spiraled down even further when they discovered you were writing about the very idol you  constantly claimed was overrated.

Just as you wallowed in self-pity, a notification pings on your phone. A familiar username and a blue checkmark.

Shit.

accidentally yours masterlist: chapter 4 —

-

taglist

@kaeuri @kazumiku @kyouzki @skyoverkill1 @flowzel @lalalaloveallmydays @sketcheeee @vi0let-writes @kunikuzushis-darling @js-a-silly-little-guy @simonisferal @jayzioxx @naevis-callingae @vxmp-loml @dxrling-xing  @suzueuieeeee @kinanahan @help-whatdoimakemyusername @khisuko @dearanemo @heusalettle @v4lerixxq @catorkitty @khsuvy @reivelmin

[rainyreading]

Can you please write a mattheo x theodore x mc smut pleasee if possible.Thank you!

what are best friends for

mattheo riddle x theodore nott x reader

wc: 1.3k

requests open

Theo was your boyfriend. You both loved each other very much. You both were good friends with Mattheo. The three of you had a lot of fun together. There was never a dull moment between you three. Right now you were all in the common room chatting away. You were on Theo’s lap sitting happily.

Mattheo sat across from the two of you in a chair. Theo noticed the way Mattheo was eyeing you. You were wearing a top that accentuated your tits. Mattheo was looking at you with lust in his eyes. Theo was thinking about it and he thought maybe he was willing to share.

“Would you let Mattheo fuck you?” Theo whispered.

“Wh-what?” You questioned shocked.

“Would you let my best friend hook up with you? It’s okay with me, I’d let him just this once.” Theo explained.

“Theo, I love you not him. Why should i?”

“I don’t know the experience, to feel good?”

“I don’t want to pressure you but I think it would be fun for you.” Theo gently explained.

“Mm okay,” you said softly.

“Okay?”

You nodded. Theo wanted to make sure you were comfortable with this. He didn’t want to put you in a situation where you were uncomfortable. He just thought it would be beneficial for both parties.

Now Theo could tell Mattheo. Theo took your hand in his and sauntered over to Mattheo. “Come with me,” Theo tapped him on his shoulder.

Theo led the two of you to his dorm. When you got there Mattheo spoke, “What’s this about?”

“Do you want to have sex with Y/N?” Theo asked bluntly.

“What?”

“Do you want to fuck her?”

“Theo.”

“No i’m being serious,” Theo stated.

“She’s yours man, I couldn’t just take her,” Mattheo responded.

“Well I’m giving you an opportunity here,” Theo explained.

“What’s the catch?” Mattheo asked.

“There are some rules, for one no coming inside her.”

“Obviously, but she’s okay with it?” Mattheo asked.

“Yeah.”

“Come here sweet thing,” Mattheo beckoned you.

You were a little shy but you trusted Theo. You made you way over to Mattheo. Mattheo grabbed the back of your thigh and guided you onto his lap.

“It’s okay bella,” Theo encouraged you.

Mattheo gave you a smile and brushed some hair out of your face, “I’m gonna kiss you now okay?”

You nodded your head which gave Mattheo the green light. Mattheo tasted like cigarette smoke and whisky. You weren’t gonna lie it was different and it felt weird kissing someone else. Mattheo crushed his lips against yours in a messy kiss.

Theo came up behind you and started to kiss your neck. “We just want to make you feel good,” Theo whispered. “Mhmm.” Theo skillfully sucked deep purple marks on your neck and chest.

Then Theo grabbed your chin and kissed you roughly. “We’re gonna share you tonight, aren’t we Theo,” Mattheo announced leaning back on his hands. “Yes we are,” Theo responded.

“Can I take your top off?” Mattheo asked.

“Yes.”

Mattheo lifted your top off and slid it up over your head and off your body, revealing you in a black lace bra. Mattheo’s gaze was hungry. He looked at you like you were a piece of meat. Theo came up behind you and unclipped your bra revealing your bare breasts.

“Fuck, you’re exquisite,” Mattheo complimented.

Mattheo had you lie down on your back. Theo sat on one side and Mattheo sat on the other. Theo was kissing your neck and then Mattheo started to kiss your chest. The sensation of their kisses were making you wetter and wetter.

“You have such perfect tits,” Mattheo commented.

“She does doesn’t she,” Theo boasted.

Mattheo sucked on your nipple and groped the other. He licked and sucked and then gave the same attention to the other breast. Theo was making dark purple marks on your neck still. Mattheo kissed down your stomach and then stoped at the waistband of your skirt.

“Please tell me I can taste you,” Mattheo begged.

You looked at Theo to see what he would say and he seemed fine with it so you nodded your head. Mattheo was quick. He discarded your skirt and panties in one swift motion. Then he settled between your legs.

Mattheo licked a strip from your core to your clit and you moaned at the sensation. Mattheo feasted on your cunt like it was his only purpose on earth. You felt euphoric. The pleasure was overwhelming.

Theo sat behind you as you leaned on his chest. The only thing he was wearing was his underwear. Mattheo was shirtless. Mattheo skillfully ate you out. He sucked on your clit making you see stars.

Theo watched the interaction. You had your back up against his chest. He soothed you and made you feel safe because he was close to you. You were arching your back and trying to back away from Mattheo because the pleasure was getting to be too much.

Mattheo fucked you with his tongue. “Fuck you taste divine,” Mattheo panted over your cunt.

“Mmm,” you moaned.

Mattheo could feel that you were getting close. “Come on let go f’me,” he told you.

Your orgasm washed over you sending sparks through you. You came all over Mattheo’s face

“Good girl,” Theo whispered huskily in your ear.

“I get to be inside you now right?” Mattheo asked.

“Yeah mate she has the best pussy I’ve ever had, enjoy it,” Theo responded.

Mattheo rolled on a condom. You opened your legs and waited. You were a little nervous because it wasn’t Theo. You were mentally preparing yourself for this. “It’s okay principessa, I’m right here,” Theo soothed and started rubbing your shoulders.

“Are you ready?” Mattheo hesitated.

“Yes.”

Mattheo slid in with ease. Mattheo groaned loudly as he entered you. “Fuck you feel amazing,” Mattheo panted.

Mattheo pulled out just to slam back in. He set a brutal pace. The feeling was weird because you were used to Theo’s size and Mattheo was different. You had some drool that leaked out of your mouth and Theo kissed it away.

Mattheo’s cock massaged your walls in a whole new way. He pounded into you at a relentless pace. You took it like a champ. Theo reached around and played with your clit.

“Gonna fucking cum,” Mattheo hissed.

Mattheo pulled out and spilled into the condom. He jerked his cock with his hand. He then collapsed next to you on the bed totally spent.

“My turn cara mia,” Theo announced.

Theo lined himself up at your entrance. He pushed in with little force. You moaned at the feeling of your lover entering you. It felt right. Theo was super gentle and took care of you the whole time.

Theo kissed you while he was drilling into you. “Fuck you’re taking me so well, good job baby,” Theo panted.

You were getting a little overstimulated so you let out a whine. Theo shushed you. Theo pulled out just to slam back in at a bruising pace. The way he gripped your hips was sure to leave a mark. “Theo,” you cried. You dragged your nails down his back.

“I know baby I know,” he replied.

Theo started to play with your clit and you moaned again. “You’re almost there aren’t you?” Mattheo asked.

You nodded your head. You were clamping down on Theo’s cock and he knew he wasn’t gonna last much longer. After a few sloppy thrusts, you came undone hard. Theo followed right after spilling his seed into you. “Ah Fuck,” Theo growled.

Theo pulled out and then went to go clean you up. The three of you laid there catching your breaths. You were completely spent and so tired you fell asleep cuddled into Theo’s side. You were practically on top of him.

“Ya know it was everything i dreamed of,” Mattheo said.

“Good.”

[ch-4-eri]

Favors — Maria Miller.

Maria Miller X fem!Reader

Tommy can’t handle allat but I can, i don’t know what’s this but guys I need her so bad I’m not joking anyway smut under the cut, I finally wrote something for her gahhh. 😩

“Shhh-!” You warned, your palm placed across the blonde’s mouth, keeping her from making any noises as you fucked her in her bedroom while her husband out and about in the lovely walls of Jackson.

Which is a good thing really, wouldn’t want him there while you were rearranging his wife’s guts, while she’s such a disciplined woman, very assertive about the way she ran this town, she surely moans like a slut.

“Darling please—“ Maria whined, her hands gripping your wrist, desperate to make noises, “how are you gonna explain that if anybody hears?” You tormented her, the smirk on your face making the woman even more guilty, nervous, knowing what she’s doing is wrong but she somehow never even tried to stop you.

She loves Tommy so much— one of the few things she’s sure about in her entire life, but the way you looked— this young beautiful woman interested in her made her feel things Tommy never really had, and she wanted more of it, more of you.

Worn out from begging and your teasing she finally came, for the second time that morning, her blue eyes shut tight, short blonde hair splayed out on the pillow as you leaned in and hovered above her.

As her eyes opened, she wasn’t Maria the town runner, Tommy’s wife, no— she was someone else completely and you somehow preferred this version a lot better, the way she looked at you, the way you could make her yours with the power you hold over her, maybe coming to Jackson wasn’t such a bad idea after all.

[wild-blue-wanderlust]

‘Her Sweet Kiss’ Analysis

(AKA: how Jaskier sees Yennefer.)

I’m going to make my way through this bard’s whole discography.

This analysis is a lot longer than my Burn Butcher Burn analysis, and a lot more is discussed than just the lyrics, so I’ve split it into three sections.

The first section is context, which delves into what inspired the song, and why his view of Yennefer is so negative. This section covers the events of episode 5 and explains why those events are important to Her Sweet Kiss.

The second section is the lyrics, which is the main body of the analysis, and delves into the song itself, the language and methods used in its writing, and what my interpretation is of Jaskier’s opinions based on how he portrays himself, Yennefer, and Geralt through the story he tells in the song.

The third section is the placement, which focuses on how the song is used by the writers to foreshadow events, fill in some blanks, develop Jaskier’s character, and frame Yenralt.

The Context: What Jaskier Knows About Yennefer

In Episode 5, it’s heavily implied that Jaskier has amnesia in relation to the Djinn, and by extension, Yennefer.

While his throat is cursed from Geralt’s first wish — “I just want some damn peace!” — Jaskier isn’t unresponsive. He talks to the healer, attempts to talk to Geralt, makes facial expressions that are clear reactions to things happening around him, and waves at Yennefer.

But afterwards, he doesn’t seem to remember any of it. He asks Geralt if he knows Yennefer, despite having been present when the two met. He asks Yennefer if he slept with her when he wakes up healed and she’s at the end of the bed, and describes the orgy as if it were simply a dream.

He never mentions the Djinn or his cursed throat. Geralt does tell him that he can’t let Yennefer die because she saved Jaskier’s life, and he doesn’t protest that, but he also doesn’t look like he fully believes or understands it.

On another note, He says to Geralt “please don’t tell me this is the moment you’ve finally decided to care about someone other than yourself”, and after having been travelling on-and-off with Geralt for a decade now, as stated earlier in the episode, it’s clear that he doesn’t understand how Geralt can care about this woman so quickly when, as far as Jaskier can tell, Geralt doesn’t care about him at all, even after so long. (Jaskier being unaware of the lengths Geralt went to in order to save his life, the way Yennefer has to keep asking Geralt if Jaskier is ‘just a friend’, or the conversation where Geralt states that he doesn’t want the last thing Jaskier remembers to be the horrible things Geralt said to him).

Jaskier then proceeds to stand around waiting until the house collapses, which makes him believe that Geralt is dead. He’s left questioning why he went after a ‘mad witch’, before then seeing the two of them having sex through a window. After that, we know that Geralt repeatedly sees Yennefer, and that they keep having sex, and Jaskier attempts to steer Geralt away from her with little success.

Something else in relation to the timeline that strikes me as important is that I think there’s a pretty big jump between episode 5 and episode 6. In episode 5, Jaskier says that he and Geralt have known each other for a decade. Ciri, who is thirteen in season one, would only have recently been born at that point. But the mountain breakup happens in episode 6 and when Jaskier is being tortured by Rience in the second season, he says he hasn’t seen Geralt “in months” rather than ‘in years’. Meaning this third wheeling for Yenralt would’ve been going on for the best part of another decade.

So, to recap:

He wakes up in bed with Yennefer, covered in blood, and she starts a ritual

He escapes and sees Geralt, is relieved, tells him about the crazy witch

Geralt goes into the house to save said crazy witch

The house collapses and Jaskier laments Geralt, thinking he’s dead

He sees Geralt and Yennefer having sex through a window and is dragged away

Geralt and Yennefer run into each other multiple times since, Jaskier is third wheeling, this goes on for a decade

Jaskier tries to stop Geralt from going to hunt the dragon when they find out Yennefer is going, but this is what makes Geralt agree to it

After the dragon hunt, the mountain breakup happens

You can imagine why he wouldn’t be her biggest fan. I think this is important for understanding his views on her and on Geralt’s relationship with her, because I think there’s a lot of jealousy there as well as some feelings of betrayal, and there’s also definitely a lot of reason for Jaskier to be afraid of Yennefer, based on the things he remembers versus what he’s forgotten.

I want to make it clear that Yennefer is one of my favourite characters, and I do not hate her or think that Jaskier’s view of her is correct. I actually love the way their relationship develops in season 2 and 3. But I’m analysing things from Jaskier’s point of view here, and at this point he (understandably) hates her.

The Lyrics: Jaskier’s View on Geralt’s Relationship with Yennefer

The fairer sex, they often call it / But her love's as unfair as a crook

The term “fairer sex” is referring to females, and means that females are ‘pleasing to the eye’. Jaskier could be saying that yes, Yennefer is attractive, but she’s dangerous. But I don’t think that’s actually the definition of ‘fair’ that Jaskier means. He also uses the word “unfair”, and that doesn’t mean unattractive. He’s using the ‘fairer sex’ term to equate to moral fairness. It’s fun wordplay, because that isn’t commonly the use of the phrase.

It steals all my reason / Commits every treason / Of logic, with naught but a look

This line mirrors a conversation between Yennefer and Geralt, but I’ll get to that in the placement section.

I want to touch on the “my” pronoun here, because Jaskiee isn’t the one being ‘seduced’ in the song, nor the one who feels that way with Yennefer (Geralt states that she makes him “say more than [he’s] said in weeks” and that he always regrets it). It’s possible that Jaskier is saying that Yennefer’s love for Geralt affects him personally by making him jealous and therefore stealing his reason.

A storm’s raging on the horizon / Of longing and heartache and lust

The storm idea is self-explanatory I think — the storm represents something negative. The first few times I listened to Her Sweet Kiss, I thought that all three of the adjectives used were supposed to represent Yennefer, but upon closer inspection I like to think of longing, heartache, and lust each representing a different character in the song (therefore, one is Jaskier, one is Yennefer, and one is Geralt).

I think he’d see “longing” as himself; he longs for Geralt, for the love that he gives to Yennefer. Geralt would be “heartache”; anguish and sadness, negative emotions that Jaskier is used to seeing Geralt feel, and since it particularly relates to sadness caused by the absence of a loved one, it’s the heartache Geralt feels when he isn’t with Yennefer. Finally, that leaves Yennefer as “lust”; I don’t think that’s what her character truly is but it fits with Jaskier’s interpretation of her at this time, and is the most shallow of the three emotions, which would fit with Jaskier’s negative view of her.

The reason I believe viewing them each separately fits better than seeing them all as Yennefer is because I don’t think Jaskier would ascribe her so much emotional depth in a song that is clearly meant to portray her as a negative force. It would show a lot of empathy and that would fit his character, but I don’t think that’s how he’s trying to portray her.

Though I also would personally attribute the adjectives to different characters if I were talking about my own view. I’d make Yennefer “longing”; she is desperate for a child and something to make her feel less emptiness at this part of the story. For Jaskier, I’d make him “heartache”; while Geralt isn’t absent physically, he is emotionally, and he is absent when he’s with Yennefer. Finally, I’d say that Geralt is “lust”; I can’t personally see a lot of chemistry between him and Yennefer in episodes 5 and 6, and the way he talks to her so mockingly (in the bathing scene and when Yennefer tells him she wants to be a mother) aggravates me. Plus, he bound her to him with a Djinn wish while barely knowing her.

To be clear, I love Geralt. But I have very negative feelings about Yenralt as a ship. Especially in season one. It feels very out of character for Geralt.

She's always bad news / It's always lose, lose

These lyrics interest me purely from the standpoint of knowing it’s been a decade since Geralt and Yennefer met in episode five, and clearly a lot must have happened for Jaskier to take the perspective that interacting with Yennefer always brings negativity. There’s a possibility that Jaskier sees how obsessive Geralt is over her and that’s what he’s referring to, as he clearly thinks that Geralt is looking at Yennefer with rose-tinted glasses.

So tell me, love, tell me, love / How is that just?

The love in question he is referring to is Geralt, of course. Depending on when he decided on this lyric, he could be asking a few different questions here. Either, ‘how are Yennefer’s actions just?’, ’how is it just that you love her more than me?’ or, if this part was written after the mountain breakup, ‘how is it just that you blamed me for what happened between you and her, when she’s clearly the problematic one?’.

But the story is this: / She'll destroy with her sweet kiss / Her sweet kiss / But the story is this: / She'll destroy with her sweet kiss

The repetition of this emphasises this point that Jaskier is trying to make and shows his desperation for Geralt to listen to him. He’s not letting it go, he really wants Geralt to hear this.

Her current is pulling you closer / And charging the hot, humid night / The red sky at dawn is giving a warning, you fool / Better stay out of sight

Seeing Yennefer as a current pulling Geralt in implies that he doesn’t have any autonomy in the situation and it puts the blame of the relationship onto Yennefer. Which I find ironic considering Yennefer is the one bound by a wish that Geralt made. If Jaskier knew about that wish I’d say this reeks of misogyny, but luckily for my favourite bard, it’s actually more likely he has no idea about the wishes at all, least of all that one.

The idea of her controlling the humid (therefore uncomfortable) weather plays into the idea of her being a bad influence. The use of weather metaphors is actually quite intriguing because weather is a natural and inescapable phenomenon, but in contrast Jaskier sees all of this as preventable if Geralt just stays away. It also speaks to the idea of Yennefer being dangerous, as a force of nature.

Jaskier doesn’t understand how Geralt can ignore the signs that seem so obvious to him. The red sky at dawn lyric references an ancient rhyme: “red sky at night, sailors’ delight / red sky at morning, sailors take warning”, because it alludes to a storm coming, which refers back to the previous lyric of a storm on the horizon.

Because of the original rhyme referencing red sky at night being a good thing, I’d suggest that Jaskier is saying that Geralt’s relationship with Yennefer is toxic because they have sex and then, as we know from one of their conversations in episode 6, one of them always leaves in the morning before the other wakes up. So yeah, the relationship is great during the night, but by morning it isn’t. So it’s better to “stay out of sight” altogether.

I like how Jaskier calls Geralt a fool here. This song isn’t as angry as Burn Butcher Burn or Whoreson Prison Blues, but it definitely sets up those later songs well with establishing the clear hurt that causes Jaskier’s shift in worldview, just expressed in a sassy and far more concerned way than after the mountain breakup.

I'm weak, my love, and I am wanting

Once again calling Geralt “my love”, and this constantly shifting term of address between loving Geralt and calling him a fool really foreshadows how Jaskier’s character is going to develop while also portraying this inner conflict he has.

Jaskier admits that part of the reason he dislikes Geralt being with Yennefer is because he wants what she has with Geralt for himself. He recognises his own apparent weakness, perhaps believing this is why he doesn’t have the relationship with Geralt that he desires.

This also mirrors one of his later songs, Extraordinary Things, in which Jaskier states that “it’s not a want, it’s a need”.

If this is the path I must trudge / I welcome my sentence / Give to you my penance / Garrotter, jury and judge

I’ll talk more about this part in the placement section of the analysis. It’s my favourite bit of the song and I have a lot to say about it.

The literal path that Jaskier is trudging is Geralt’s, following ‘The Path’ he takes as a Witcher hunting monsters, which Jaskier decided to follow him on for two decades. What I find interesting here is the idea that he ‘must’ take it, that he doesn’t have a choice — because he does. Nothing and nobody is forcing him. In fact, Geralt actively discourages him being there rather than forcing him to stay. But it’s more dramatic to assign this finality to his situation. What's significant is that there’s also a sense of determination here. He isn’t helpless to his situation, he welcomes it and he’s firm in his position.

A “penance” is a self-inflicted punishment to make up for wrongdoings. Jaskier giving Geralt his penance is saying that, for one thing, he knows that continuing down Geralt’s path while he’s with Yennefer is only going to hurt Jaskier himself more. He’s also saying that, for the wrongdoings he has committed (which I think are probably him being ‘unworthy’ as a travelling companion, since this is a sentiment that comes up often throughout episode 6) he’s going to let Geralt decide his fate. And, ironically, Geralt does, in the end of this episode. And the things he says to Jaskier on the mountain lead to Jaskier no longer trudging the same path as he stated he would.

Notably, the act of giving Geralt his penance kind of stops it from being a penance at all, since penance is self-inflicted. Unless Jaskier views himself and Geralt as two halves of a whole, or the very act itself of leaving his fate in Geralt’s hand is his punishment, because Jaskier already is sure that Geralt doesn’t want him around and knows that he will be abandoned, in which case the punishment is willingly subjecting himself to that heartbreak.

A “garroter” is someone who kills someone else by strangling them. It comes from ‘garrote’, which can refer to any handheld weapon used to strangle another. The jury are a group of randomly-chosen people who have to attend a court hearing and decide whether or not an accused person is guilty. A judge is the person who decides the punishment/sentence after someone is found guilty.

If Geralt is the jury, he’s given the power to make decisions about who Jaskier is without having the qualifications to do so, only based on the evidence presented to him, which isn’t always easy to understand. Such as deciding that Jaskier is an unworthy travelling companion, that he’s “just a bard” and that they are decidedly not friends.

If he is the judge, he gets to decide what happens to Jaskier in the future. Such as by abandoning him on a mountain, but also by having saved his life more than once prior to this.

And if he’s a garrotter, then he violently ends Jaskier’s life by preventing him access to something he needs to live. Which, literally, is oxygen. But metaphorically, it’s love. Connection. Inspiration. Even just acknowledgement, a lot of the time.

If he’s all three, then he has a very large amount of power over Jaskier’s life, his image, and his actions.

There’s also something to be said about the order in which Jaskier presents these three ideas. If we go based on order being equal to importance, his life being the least important is quite tragic but also does align with his values. Jaskier’s image is important because he’s a bard and he has to present himself and others in specific ways to ensure that they are treated somewhat decently. It’s not a shallow value to have — Jaskier’s image, his music, is how he survives in a society trying to oppress him and his loved ones (but I’ll probably talk more about that whenever I analyse Toss A Coin to Your Witcher, Extraordinary Things, and Song of the Seven). His actions are the most important of the three because personal freedom is very important to Jaskier, along with his ability to always do the morally right thing. Doing that is more important to Jaskier than anything else, including living or living safely.

But the story is this: / She'll destroy with her sweet kiss / Her sweet kiss / The story is this: / She'll destroy with her sweet kiss

I find it interesting that these lyrics don’t change here, because in Jaskier’s music he usually changes the chorus, but this time he doesn’t. Which further cements the idea of him trying to get this through to Geralt and repeating it again and again and again until he listens.

But the story is this: / She'll destroy with her sweet kiss / Her sweet kiss / But the story is this: / She'll destroy with her sweet kiss / The story is this: / She'll destroy with her sweet kiss

The Placement: How Her Sweet Kiss is Utilised

So, this song plays three times in episode 6.

The first takes place at the very start of the episode. It literally fades in from the intro screen to the sound of Jaskier singing and then he’s the first thing you see on screen. The episode both starts and ends with this song.

In this scene, Jaskier is staying out of Geralt’s way while he’s killing a monster in a cave, and he’s interrupted in his playing when he notices that the men who asked Geralt to kill this monster are trying to steal Roach, and Geralt’s things. He tries to stop them, but isn’t successful on his own. This sparks the comment from Geralt that Jaskier isn’t worthy as a travel companion.

And that was almost foreshadowed while Jaskier was playing, as the part of the song he’s singing is, in my opinion, the darkest part of it. I touched heavily on these lines in the lyric analysis section but I do have more to say on them here:

I’m weak, my love, and I am wanting / if this is the path I must trudge / I welcome my sentence / give to you my penance / gorgeous garrotter, jury, and judge

I’ll get to the slight change in the lyrics in a second but, like, starting with this? You know you’re in for a wild ride.

These lyrics being written and sung before they’re really given as deep a meaning as the episode gives to them. It’s foreshadowing. And maybe at that current moment the weight of them isn’t as much as it is by the end, it’s just dramatic flair on Jaskier’s part. Here it represents an intense amount of loyalty and devotion in spite of pain caused by Geralt wanting Yennefer over him. That is something that Jaskier can cope with, even if it is undeniably painful. But it grows into something a lot worse and by the end those dramatic ideas have come to fruition.

It’s also significant that the song is in the process of being written, composed, and edited as the episode progresses, because as I mentioned in the context section, it has been years since the Djinn incident. There’s something about this song that Jaskier is really struggling with. We’ve seen him compose songs in less than an hour, with Toss a Coin to Your Witcher, but writing one about Yennefer and Geralt took him years.

One thing we see him struggling with is the lyrics. When he sings it here, he says “gorgeous garroter” before pausing and trying “lovely garroter” instead. He goes back and forth for a bit until he’s distracted by the guys trying to rob Geralt.

Now, that’s the biggest oxymoron I’ve ever heard in my entire life. Someone who ends your life via strangulation, and you’re describing them as lovely and gorgeous. Jaskier, you are down terribly.

But isn’t it also fun how he ultimately decides to drop a positive adjective there altogether, after everything that happened in the episode?

The second time that Her Sweet Kiss plays, it’s just the instrumental. It follows a particularly tender scene involving Jaskier and Geralt, the “do what pleases you” scene on the cliff, but Jaskier is not actually present in the scene where his song plays. To me this could imply two things. Either this is the moment in which he’s finishing the song, and that’s what he’s doing while the scene is occurring, or he’s eavesdropping on the two of them and the song is supposed to represent his presence.

I think the second is more likely purely because I think it makes sense that the song is only finished after the breakup. I also think the second is more likely because, as I mentioned in the lyric section, there are lines in the song that directly reference a part of this conversation between Yennefer and Geralt, which Jaskier should have no way of knowing.

The dialogue is:

Yennefer: I was afraid that mountain would take you from me. Now I’m afraid it took your senses instead.

Geralt: Only my nonsense.

Yennefer: I quite like your nonsense.

The lyrics that directly relate to this are

“It steals all my reason / commits every treason / of logic, with naught but a look”

A detail that I really appreciate about this scene is that the chorus, the part where Jaskier would be singing “she’ll destroy with her sweet kiss” if the lyrics had been included, plays at the exact moment that Yennefer and Geralt do kiss, and that’s just a detail that makes me happy.

But it’s a little weird to me that they decide to play this song at all here. The writers of the show want the audience to root for Yenralt, but with this song in the background I honestly find that really difficult. I don’t like them together anyway but having this song play in what is supposed to be a moment of closeness and harmony just falls flat, because that’s not what the song portrays.

However, it is useful for symbolising Jaskier potentially listening in, and I think it also serves to show the audience just how different Yennefer truly is from Jaskier’s portrayal of her.

The last scene where the song plays is actually the end credits, after the famous mountain breakup scene, where Geralt is abandoned by Yennefer and subsequently abandons Jaskier too. It’s definitely painful for Jaskier, who I think expected this for a while, and would probably think that if Geralt had just listened to him about Yennefer, then he wouldn’t have lost him.

Whatever you do, don’t imagine Jaskier singing the full finished version of Her Sweet Kiss for the first time as he makes his way back down the mountain alone.

Rewatching the mountain breakup I also want to point out that Geralt compares Yennefer to a tornado there, and considering the weather metaphors throughout the song I find that to be a cool detail.

Anyway, the song plays in its full glory during the end credits — bringing the episode full circle, as it both started and ended with Jaskier singing. He is the lense through which the audience is told the story of The Witcher. By now, it has a lot more depth and meaning to it than it did at the beginning of the episode, and it is finally finished after the years it took to write it, mirroring how Jaskier’s time with Geralt is also over.

For now.

[angsty-aliens]

I’m on a couple Facebook groups where people can ask veterinarians questions and only vets are allowed to answer

I find this sort of resource to be super helpful because I can use the search function if I’m ever curious about some super specific thing.

However people are dumb. People are so dumb. There are so many posts that are like “my cat got mauled by a dog. What should I do?” And they’ll attach a photo of a cat missing huge chunks of flesh.

“You need to go to the vet.”

Or “I didn’t realize how bad my dogs teeth are. What should I do?” And the photo is of a dog’s mouth absolutely crusted in plaque with a tooth visibly broken.

“Go to the vet.”

“My 5 pound yorkie was just bitten by a copperhead snake. Can I just give them benedryl?”

“Go to the ER vet.”

Please. For the love of god, PLEASE take your animals who are clearly in distress to the medical professionals. I get that it can be expensive but there are often low cost clinics to help with people who are struggling financially. I’ve taken stray cats to the humane society clinics and it’s much cheaper but you do need to be very patient because you’ll have to wait to be seen. But please don’t think your dog that was run over by a car can be fixed by you giving Tylenol at home. 😳 (also don’t give animals Tylenol. That’s a terrible idea.)

[franknfurterstriangulardinosaur]

i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face-

[redley-of-many-noodles]

*holding writhing bag of shitty memes*

I GOT THE MORBS, START UP THE GRINDER

[fingertipsmp3]

Just once I want to google something I’m experiencing and not find out that it’s often a symptom or a side effect of OCD

[r0semultiverse]

Bluesky actually lags out my 8-10 year old computer on Firefox with Ublock on. Not even into the triple digits with blocked elements and everything is lagging. WHY IS YOUR SITE SO LAGGY? WHAT MAKES THIS SITE SPECIFICALLY EAT SO MUCH CPU?? EVEN TUMBLR IS MORE OPTIMIZED! 😡

[karemandohan1999]

A Cry for Help: My Family is Drowning in Pain and Despair, Please Help Us🙏

To every compassionate heart, to everyone who understands the meaning of mercy and humanity😭,

I write to you today with a heavy heart, struggling to find the words to describe what we are going through. Our lives have become a constant stream of pain and loss. We were barely surviving before, but today, everything has become even harder and crueler.

My mother, a woman who has never broken despite everything we've endured, sits by the fire every day to bake bread for us. We have no gas, no comforts, just fire and flour. With her tired hands, she feeds my sister’s children, and despite everything, she smiles at them, hiding her pain. That fire is all the warmth we have left.

Then the storm came, and it washed away our humble tent. The shelter that once protected us from the rain and cold is now a pool of water. My mother, my sisters, their children, and I, we all stand in the mud, looking for hope in each other’s eyes, but everything feels lost.

My little son, Hamoud, only 17 months old, doesn't understand why he can’t play anymore. He doesn’t know why everything around him is wet and cold. How can I explain to him that we’ve lost everything? How can I tell him that the world, which should have provided him safety, has abandoned us?

I write to you today, holding onto a small thread of hope, praying that you can be our support. We desperately need your help. Our lives are at risk, and our children are in danger. Your donation could save their lives, could restore our belief that someone still hears our cries. You are the lifeline we are waiting for.

With a heart that can no longer bear more pain, I beg you, please don’t leave us alone in this darkness. We need a new shelter, a roof to protect our children from this harsh cold. Every donation, no matter how small, is a new life for us and our children.

Donate and share💔🙏

$8,768 USD raised of $50,000 goal

Donate here 👇

@90-ghost @rawliverandgoronspice @imjustheretotrytohelp @timogsilangan @el-shab-hussein @buttercuparry @school-of-the-infected @atlas-of-galaxies @staff @soon-palestine @palestine-info-uncensored @sayruq @xinakwans @dlxxv-vetted-donations @komsomolka @remindertoclick @el-shabazzgifted @atlas-of-galaxies @ghostofanonpast @gothhabiba @ashwantsafreepalestine @xclownypunkx @fairuzstuff

#SaveHamoud #UrgentCryForHelp #DonateNow

[arts-and-drafts]

I decided to start compiling speech patterns and such for the Hermits I watch the most, because being a fic writer is hard sometimes 😭 then I thought “why not share it here?”

so here’s my very rough analysis of my most viewed Hermits, this is just what I’ve managed to gather so please don’t call me out for what I’m missing

-

Scar

Rarely stutters in normal speech. Maybe pauses if he’s started a sentence and doesn’t know where it’s going, but he doesn’t tend to trail off unless something interrupts his train of thought

Stutters a LOT when he’s startled. Also makes ‘hoo!’ noises repeatedly before he finds his words

Lays on the charm THICK when he’s trying to convince someone over literally anything; compliments their looks, their handiwork, and then pitches his proposition in smooth segue. Not one to entertain haggling though (however he DOES do a ‘look if you’ll pay full price I’ll throw in xyz’ thing). King of upselling even the most mundane things.

His tone is cheerful most of the time, no matter what he’s saying. He’ll actually often say very disturbing things with a light voice (ex. when discussing how to retaliate ie “what should we do about him?” “we could kill him! :)”)

Builds and locations somehow are always capitalized in his voice?? Like he says them differently. I can’t really explain it (when he talks about Aqua Town or Scarland or The Big Dig)

Literally has an evil laugh when he thinks of a way to prank someone or mess with people

Hums in thought quite often, and uses “huh!” quite often when confused or finding out something new (Mostly with redstone)

His farewell is almost always “Byeeee, have a great time!” even if the conversation he left was not a pleasant one. I’m almost certain he does this in tense situations just to get under other people’s skin and really push how unbothered he is

Doesn’t tend to insult people, the farthest he’ll take it is backhanded compliments

That said he is not afraid to outright threaten (“I will murder them.”)

References media a lot, both for concepts for builds and in speech (ie his greeting “Well hello there!” is from Star Wars)

Number one exclamation is “Sweet Baby Jellie!”

(More under the cut!)

Grian

Cold opens, both in videos and conversations (rarely says “hello, how are you, etc” when encountering someone, but he does say farewells/‘thank you’s)

Likes to sneak up on people and scare them if he realizes they haven’t noticed him yet, usually does so by getting real close and then yelling (“HEY!”/“HI!”/“WHAT’S THAT?”)

Uses the name of whoever he’s talking to pretty often while speaking to them (“Well, Mumbo, you never know”/“So, Scar, as you can see here-“), same goes for often addressing his audience (“you all”/“you lot”/“you guys”)

Usually pretty focused (when he wants to be) but oftentimes takes a minute to laugh at things he notices in the natural environment (An accidental face in a build, a mob in a strange place, etc)

Takes the lead in a conversation if nobody is the clear leader, but generally only speaks when spoken to if someone else has risen to that spot

Clarifies instructions after something is explained, both to his viewers and to anyone he’s grouped up with (most often seen in the Life Series)

Uses “Pardon?!”/“Beg your pardon?!” most often when surprised or startled (he’s very British), also sometimes uses “Sorry??”

Things are way more funny to him when he’s tired

Deadpans a lot in conversation ie “why not do xyz?” “Well because we’ll horrifically die 😑“

This man is allergic to committing to the bit unless he’s the one that initiated it

Not one to sugarcoat (“how is it?” “well to be honest it’s miserable”)

Number one exclamation is “WHAT?!” (though he often uses “oh my GOODNESS” quite a bit)

Mumbo

The start of nearly every episode is almost a pitch, does the same when bringing up an idea to others (“I have this idea”/“I was thinking”/“I noticed” etc)

Often laughs a little at himself when he speaks

Also often brings up how inexperienced/unqualified he thinks he is with literally any task he’s doing

Gets very distracted with the smallest things

Uses similes a lot when trying to describe a concept (“I’m thinking a this-type thing”/“Something like a [xyz]”/“Imagine like a [thing]”)

His voice gets higher when he’s startled or panicking

A very vocal thinker, which makes sense because he’s a MC Youtuber, but he also just. Seems to think out loud regardless

Comments a lot on the feel of things (“Oh this feels menacing”/“This looks like it’d mess you up”/“This makes it feel very intimidating”), often with building

Extremely modest. However will celebrate when he does something right in redstone/building (“YES! Oh my days, that took forever”)

Once and a while will have a rare banter moment with people he’s comfortable with (ie teasing and making fun)

Related to above, he gets very giggly when he’s hanging out with people he’s familiar with (Grian and Scar most often, but also Iskall)

Number one exclamation is “What on earth?!”

Joel

Greets people most often with “How you doing [name]?”/“How are ya [name]?”

He’s very northern. He often leaves out words in his sentences bc that’s just the way his dialect is (“What you doin’?” vs “What are you doing?”)

Says his th’s like f’s (“somefing”/“nofing”/“finking”) ((Stress also does this))

His jokes/teasing are very deadpan (“I made you this extra thing, because you’re trash at this”)

Actually gives gifts of resources very often, and always leaves it with a little note and signs his name

His voice gets higher pitched when he’s defensive/being extremely cheeky but other than that his tone rarely changes

This man. Flirts so much. If any other person initiates even the slightest of flirty banter he takes that and dials it to eleven I cannot believe this is a straight married man sometimes

Joel commits to the bit 100% of the time (slightly related to above), unless of course it’s jokes about his height

Makes a point to compliment himself if he gets the chance (words most often used are “handsome” “strong” and “humble”, as well as comments about his muscles and physique)

Insults his enemies diminutively (“look at you down there, tiny idiot”/“You’re wrong and also weak”) ((seen most often in Empires SMP)

His most often used insult is “idiot”

When he’s flustered/frustrated he uses “bloody” a lot (ie “bloody heck” or “this bloody thing” (loves to toe the PG line), also uses “blooming” (“bloomin’ heck”)

Most often used exclamation is also “WHAT?!”

Bdubs

Opens videos very jovially, talks almost like a radio host

Breaks down his builds down to the block, spends a lot of time discussing his block pallet choices and giving tips while he builds

Uses the affirmation “sure enough” a lot, and often addresses himself as “Ol’ Bdubs”

Talks affectionately about other hermits often (“[name], the absolute sweetheart, left me some materials”, “[name], you angel!”)

Adding to above, “angel” or “sweet angel” seems to be his most often used affectionate terms

Switches on a dime, though, if he gets offended (which of course causes others to poke fun at him even more)

Calls mobs “stupid” a lot when they don’t do what he wants (but takes it back if he says it to one of his horses ex. “Come here, stupid—wonderful, I mean, beautiful”)

THIS MAN IS THE #1 HORSE ENJOYER. He gets a horse first thing every season and rides it everywhere, and they’re always a focal point of his theme or builds in some regard

Pauses whatever he��s doing to sleep as soon as it’s possible, and gets very antsy if he can’t do it for some reason (“One moment, time to shreep!”)

Related to above, EVERYONE messes with him if he’s trying to sleep in their presence ie breaking his bed over and over, and he gets increasingly more frustrated when it happens

Rarely is soft spoken or quiet, he projects his voice and uses a lot of emphasis in his tone

Either straight up screams (and peaks the mic 😭) if he’s startled or scared, or yells “oh my GOODNESS!!”

Number one exclamation is “HEY!”

[amirasainz]

Hi queen. Can you please write for little alonso one, where she is still pretty young and mostly hanging out with the spanish speaking drivers (please include Franco♥️) and one of the others accidentally uses a english cuss word in front of her and she repeats it. Thank youuuuu.

Enjoy reading and send some requests!!!

-xoxo babygirl 💚

La Niña del Paddock

The Formula 1 paddock was always alive with energy, the hum of engines, and the chatter of mechanics filling the air. Today, however, it had an extra spark of excitement. Two-year-old Yn Alonso was in attendance, her tiny form dressed in a summer outfit and her hair in two braids.

Clinging to her father’s hand, Yn looked around the bustling paddock with wide eyes. She was shy, clutching tightly to Fernando's leg every time someone tried to say hello. Not that most of them could converse with her—she only spoke Spanish, and her vocabulary was still that of a toddler.

"Papá, quiero un jugo," she murmured, tugging at his hand. ("Papa, I want juice.")

Fernando crouched to her level, brushing her cheek with his thumb. "Después, mi amor. Ahora papá tiene que trabajar, ¿vale? Carlos te cuidará por un rato." ("Later, my love. Right now, papá has to work, okay? Carlos will look after you for a while.")

Yn pouted but nodded solemnly, her grip loosening as Carlos approached with a big grin. "¡Hola, princesa! ¿Lista para pasar un buen rato con el mejor babysitter del mundo?" ("Hello, princess! Ready to spend some time with the best babysitter in the world?")

Yn tilted her head, studying Carlos. “¿Eres mejor que Papá?” ("Are you better than Papa?")

Carlos laughed, scooping her up. "Por supuesto que no, pero soy el segundo mejor." ("Of course not, but I’m the second best.")

---

Carlos wasn’t alone in his efforts. Franco and Sergio often joined in, creating a small team of Spanish-speaking drivers who adored Yn. Today, as Carlos carried Yn through the paddock, they encountered Checo, who immediately lit up.

"¡Ahí está mi amiga pequeña! ¿Cómo estás, Yn?" ("There’s my little friend! How are you, Yn?")

"Quiero jugo," Yn replied seriously, causing both men to laugh. ("I want juice.")

“Ya veo que sabes lo que quieres,” Checo teased, ruffling her hair. "Ven, vamos a buscar uno." ("I see you know what you want. Come, let’s go find one.")

As they headed to the hospitality area, they ran into Charles, who, while not fluent in Spanish, had picked up a few phrases. He knelt to Yn’s level. "Hola, Yn. ¿Cómo�� cómo estás?"

Yn hid her face in Carlos’s shoulder, making Charles frown.

"She is shy," Carlos explained with a shrug. "But you can try."

Charles smiled softly. "¿Quieres… jugo? ¿O… un helado?" ("Do you want… juice? Or… ice cream?")

At the mention of ice cream, Yn peeked out, nodding eagerly. "Helado."

“That was easy!" Charles laughed, standing up and joining the group as they searched for treats.

---

Other drivers began to notice how much time Yn spent with the Spanish-speaking contingent, sparking a mix of amusement and envy.

"Why does she never come to us?" Lando complained to Max, watching as Yn giggled in Franco’s arms.

"Maybe because she doesn’t understand you," Max replied with a smirk.

"But she’s so cute! Look at her little cheeks!” Lando exclaimed. “I want a turn."

“Good luck with that,” Max muttered, though he was secretly curious too.

---

Eventually, Yn’s circle expanded, and she found herself surrounded by other drivers who, despite the language barrier, adored her. George was attempting to teach her a clapping game, while Lewis showed her pictures of his dog Roscoe. Everything was going smoothly until Max stupped his toe and muttered a curse under his breath.

"Fuck," he said, slapping his thigh.

Yn, ever the sponge, tilted her head. "Fuck."

Silence fell over the group. George gasped, and Lewis froze mid-sentence.

"Max," Lando hissed. "What did you just do?"

“It wasn’t my fault!” Max said, panicking. “She’s too quick!”

"Fuck," Yn repeated, smiling as if she’d learned a new toy.

“Nonononono,” Charles said, rushing over. "Yn, don't say that. Es malo. Muy malo." (" It’s bad. Very bad.")

"¿Por qué?" Yn asked innocently, looking up at him. ("Why?")

Checo appeared just in time, his eyes wide as he realized what was happening. "What happened?"

“She heard Max swear,” George explained, flailing his arms.

Checo groaned. "¡Ay no! If Fernando finds out, we're dead."

---

Despite their frantic efforts to distract her with other words, Yn’s new phrase stuck. When Fernando finally returned from his duties, Yn ran to him, arms outstretched.

"¡Papá!"

"¡Mi niña! ¿Te portaste bien?" Fernando asked, lifting her into his arms. ("My girl! Were you well-behaved?")

Yn beamed at him, her tiny voice ringing out. "Fuck!"

Fernando froze. The drivers around them collectively held their breath, some looking ready to bolt.

Then Fernando threw his head back and laughed, a hearty sound that echoed through the paddock. "¡Eres toda una Alonso, mi amor!" ("You’re a true Alonso, my love!")

Checo wiped imaginary sweat from his brow. "We're saved…"

Fernando looked at the guilty group, smirking. "But if it happens again, you all will be to blame."

Yn, unaware of the chaos she had caused, snuggled into her father’s chest, content as ever. And the paddock? They had learned their lesson: don’t teach a toddler new words unless you’re ready to face the consequences.

[mggslover]

Stuck

In which reader finds herself stuck in an elevator with her colleagues.

Pairing: Hotch x Reid x Morgan x Fem!BAU!Reader Genre: smut (18+) Content warnings: fingering, oral (f and m receiving), face riding, p in v sex, overstimulation, masturbation, breast play Word count: 5,4k A/n: I'm ovulating, so you know what time it is 🤭 I'm really nervous to post this, so I hope you will enjoy!

“Oh, you guys are such babies!” You laugh as Spencer and Derek refuse to step into the elevator, explaining how they’ve been stuck in one before. 

“It’s not funny, Y/N,” Spencer chimes in. “There are six elevator deaths per year. Not to mention ten thousand injuries that require hospitalization.”   

You roll your eyes at his comment, just as Hotch walks toward the elevator. “See!” You exclaim. “Hotch is joining us, and he saved you last time. We’ll be fine.” You add cheerfully.

“You’re coming?” Hotch asks, holding the elevator door open. You nod, pulling Morgan and Reid with you by their arms. 

You chuckle at their nervous reflections in the mirror as the elevator starts moving. A sudden creak causes Derek to snap his head towards you. “It made the same sound the last time!” You were just about to shut Derek up as the elevator shakes and the lights start flickering. 

“Not again!” Spencer whimpers, his eyes squeezed shut like he’s about to fall to his death at any given moment.

Hotch inspects the tight space, his expression grim. “It seems like the electricity went out…” 

“Actually, there are a lot of reasons why an elevator might stop,” Spencer interjects. “It could be worn-out suspension ropes, and it actually happens quite regularly that the motor overheats the safety sensors of the-“ 

“Let’s just solve this problem, shall we?” You cut him off, nudging Morgan out of the way to hit the red button on the panel. 

“You think that’ll do something?” Morgan asks, brow lifted. 

“It will alert someone that we’re stuck. We have to wait until somebody comes and gets us out of here.” Hotch adds. 

“Well at least I’ll be missing my meeting with Strauss,” I sigh in relief. 

“It was at twelve, right?” Spencer asks. 

“Yeah,” you respond with a nod.

“Statistically the average wait time to be rescued from an elevator is less than an hour,” Spencer continues, checking his watch. “That means you could still make it in time.” 

“Now that’s just what I wanted to hear,” you say sarcastically, earning a grin from Morgan. 

“We can only hope we won’t be in here for that long,” Hotch mutters, his impatience visible as he leans uncomfortably against the elevator doors. 

“Okay… so now what? Want to go over a case to pass the time?” 

“No, no cases please,” Morgan groans. “We’ve had three in a row. I’m done.” 

“Morgan is right. We’ve done enough cases in the past few days.” Hotch agrees. 

You mutter an “alright” as you sit down with your back against the elevator wall, smoothing out the crinkles in your skirt. The others look at you with uncertainty. Eventually Reid decides to sit next to you, exchanging a soft smile. Morgan follows suit, sitting in front of you. Hotch remains standing. You leave him be and turn to Spencer. 

“So Reid, I’m sure you’ve got enough interesting facts to pass the time.” 

Spencer looks surprised by the request, not used to directly being asked to share his facts, but his eyes quickly brighten, eager to share. “Well, actually, there are a lot of interesting things to say about elevators. There are approximately 20 million elevators worldwide,” you chuckle at his obvious enthusiasm. “The first elevator was created in 236 B.C. by Archimedes, a Greek mathematician. He used a water wheel and tied animals together with rope to create a lift mechanism.” You hum in interest. “They used lifts in the Colosseum, right?” 

“Yes! Exactly!” he responds excitedly. “The system was powered by eight men who would turn this massive wooden shaft connected to ropes. It could hold more than 600 pounds!” 

“Oh come on,” Derek says, his hand falling to his knee. “You’re telling me you’re actually interested in the mechanics of ancient elevators?”. 

Hotch glances at Morgan, silently agreeing with Derek’s skepticism. 

“Derek Morgan…” you feign offense, placing a hand on your chest. “Don’t act like I’m not curious about knowledge. At least Spence’s got something interesting to say.” 

Spencer blushes faintly, appreciating your defense. 

“Hey, I know facts too,” Morgan says smugly. “How about there being 7000 languages in the world today.” 

“The overall number is actually closer to 8000,” Spencer corrects him. “You only counted verbal communication.” 

“You guys are going to have a facts competition now?” You ask, bewildered. “It’s way too hot in here. I need some light conversation.”

“I agree,” Hotch mutters. “It is getting a little warm.”

You glance up at the AC in the corner of the elevator, which is clearly not working. It probably shut down along with the power. There’s a brief silence before Reid speaks up again. 

“I never thought I’d be trapped in an elevator with my colleagues,” he muses. “It’s a little cliché.”

“Cliche, how?” Hotch asks, intrigued despite himself. 

“You know how, in movies, a group of people get stuck in an elevator and they have to learn to overcome their differences to escape?” 

You shake your head in confusion, “I think I only know the dirty movies where they get stuck in an elevator,” you laugh. 

Spencer blinks at you, clearly thrown off. Derek chuckles at the scene, and even Hotch manages a faint smile. 

“I should’ve known you’ve only watched the dirty ones,” Derek teases. 

“What about you, pretty boy?  Ever seen a dirty movie?” He asks Spencer, grinning. 

Reid looks flustered. “I grew up in Vegas… I’ve seen some things.” 

“Ah, Vegas,” you say, sighing dreamily. “The place where you can’t drive for a minute without seeing a giant porn billboard.”

Morgan grins, leaning back with a satisfied sigh. “Sounds like my kind of place.” 

You laugh and kick his leg playfully. Morgan winks at you, enjoying the lighthearted banter. You glance up at Hotch, who is still the only one standing. 

“What about you, Hotch? What’s your favorite dirty movie?” You ask with a mischievous grin, but your expression quickly drops when you see his stern look. 

“Watch it, Y/L/N.” Hotch warns.

“Come on, Hotch,” Derek says. “Let loose a little!”

“See it as the universe’s sign.” I press on. 

“How is being stuck in here a sign of the universe?” Hotch asks, brows raised.

“Well, no way would you willingly take a break yourself. Now the universe got you stuck in here and is forcing you to relax,” you explain, with a playful gleam in your eyes. 

To everyone’s surprise, he slowly lowers himself to the floor, sitting down next to you. 

You exchange surprised looks with Derek and Spencer. All amazed at how you managed to get Hotch to sit down.

The next few minutes are spent in comfortable silence, scared to say something that will make Hotch change his mind. You’re glad he joined you, but it’s hard to ignore the rising temperature now that another person is sitting in close proximity to you. 

“How long has it been?” you ask, fanning yourself with your blazer. “I’m starting to sweat.”

“Thirty-five minutes so far,” Derek replies, following your lead and fanning himself. 

Hotch looks mildly uncomfortable, beads of sweat forming on his forehead. Spencer, however, looks the most miserable using the collar of his sweater vest to wipe his face. 

“You guys should take your jackets off,” you suggest, eyeing Morgan and Hotch. 

You don’t need to tell Derek twice, as he removes his jacket, revealing a black short sleeved shirt that looks a lot more comfortable. Hotch looks reluctant to do the same, but eventually gives in, loosening his tie and unbuttoning his shirt collar. You take a peak as he reveals his broad, muscled shoulders for a moment, before readjusting his shirt. Hotch notices your glance and his eyes shoot up to yours, catching you in the moment as your cheeks flush. You quickly look away. 

“Oh, she’s enjoying the view, alright,” Derek smirks and you give him a warning glance.

“Shut up. I was just surprised Hotch would give in.” 

Morgan grins and nudges Hotch with his elbow, “Look at that, Hotch. You’re surprising us all today. First you smile and now you’re taking your jacket off. What’s next, dancing a jig?” You and Spencer snort at his comment. Hotch rolls his eyes at Morgan’s teasing but can’t help a small smile from appearing on his lips. 

Spencer struggles with his vest and you give him a hand. “Here, let me help you”, you say as you scoot closer, pulling the vest over his head. The fabric feels soft, but incredibly warm in your hands. You don’t know how he managed to keep it on for this long. Reid is taken aback for a moment, but mutters a soft thanks. Morgan and Hotch watch the exchange with interest, clearly amused at the sight of you being so forward with Reid.

“Now it’s your turn, you’re the one who insisted,” Morgan states, and you can’t help but agree as you take your blazer off, giving a satisfied hum at the immediate relief.

“I’ll open up some buttons too, if you don’t mind,” you announce as your fingers start working on your blouse. You don’t give them a chance to respond, since it seems only fair. Their eyes widen at your gesture, all of them staring at the sight of your blouse slightly opening up. Morgan lets out a low whistle, “Now that’s a nice view.”

“You’re insufferable,” you scoff as you stop unbuttoning, showing just a hint of your lacy bra. Morgan’s eyes linger on the sight, clearly enjoying the view. Hotch and Reid look like they’re struggling to keep their cool. Reid is the most flustered of all, turning bright red as he focuses on his hands. Morgan glances around at the others, seeing them struggle to keep themselves composed. 

He chuckles and shakes his head, enjoying the effect you’re having on them. “You know, you’re driving all of us a little crazy here, sweetheart.” 

You let out a small huff, “Give me a break. You’re wearing shortsleeves, I’m the one wearing a blouse.” 

Hotch speaks up, his gaze lingering on your blouse. “That blouse does seem a bit warm.” 

“Thank you!” You say, glad someone is on your side. 

Hotch eyes stay focused on you though, or specifically the bit of exposed collarbone and the lace that’s hugged around the swell of your breast. Your breathing heaves when you find Spencer taking occasional peaks as well, watching with a mixture of awe and embarrassment, finding difficulty in looking away. 

“Let’s just all take our shirts off, I want it to be fair”, you quickly exclaim, done with the heavy tension that’s driving you crazy. Hotch and Morgan exchange amused glances as Spencer eyes turn big, taking in your proposal. 

“All our shirts, are you sure about that?” Derek asks, a hint of surprise in his voice. 

“Then at least you won’t eye me like that.” 

“Oh, I think I’ll eye you only more.” Derek teases, licking his lips. 

“Just take your damn shirt off.” 

Derek chuckles and raises his hands in surrender, “Alright, alright. No need to get feisty.” He says as he lifts his shirt off in a smooth motion. It’s a known fact that Derek is jacked, but seeing him in a setting like this, abs glistening with sweat and pupils still dilated from looking at you, is on a whole ‘nother level. 

You’re glad the attention is taken away from your peering eyes as Hotch follows suit, unbuttoning his shirt, revealing a clearly defined muscular chest with just a hint of hair. You start doubting your suggestion as it feels like the room is only growing hotter. You look over at Spencer, seeing whether he’ll be the next. Spencer hesitates for a moment, his eyes darting between the other’s bare chests and your unbuttoned blouse. His chest heaving with his breath, suggesting that he’s more affected than he’s letting on. 

“Come on, pretty boy. Join the party.” Derek says.

“I’ll go first,” you assure Spencer, not wanting him to suffer under peer pressure. Your hands start working on the buttons. Spencer’s eyes widened at the scene in front of him.

“See, it’s not that hard,” you reassure Spencer, folding your blouse and placing it next to you. 

“I don’t know about that. You’re making things pretty hard, baby girl.” Morgan comments, making you laugh. 

“You’re way too dirty for your own good.” 

Morgan grins. “Can you blame me? I mean, look at you. You’re looking mighty tempting right now.”

You softly smile at the compliment and focus back on Spencer. “You’ll feel a lot cooler, I promise,” you encourage. 

“I don’t know. I’m not as… toned as the others.” It hurts you to hear how he’s comparing himself to his colleagues. 

“Do you truly think I care about that?” You ask him. “It’s not a competition. I just want you to feel comfortable,” you speak genuinely. Spencer looks up at you, his eyes searching yours for any signs of mockery or deception. When he finds none, his face softens and he nods. He lifts his shirt over his head, revealing a body no less impressive than the others. 

“Not too bad, pretty boy. You’re looking pretty good without that vest on.” Derek compliments. 

“You do,” You agree, as you fold his shirt and place it on top of my blouse. Spencer gives you a sheepish smile, grateful for your help. Glad he decided to take his shirt off as he felt the cool air hit his chest, “Yeah, that does feel better.” 

You look around the room, the scene for sure one to be put down in the history books of the BAU. “I think it’s safe to say we’ve entered a new step in our colleague bonding,” you awkwardly chuckle, trying to lighten the mood but the air feels charged with an unspoken tension that’s impossible to ignore. You can feel their eyes on you, the way they linger, the weight of their gazes following your every movement. You try to ignore it, to stay professional, but your body betrays you. You shift slightly, adjusting your skirt, and that’s when you feel it - the subtle brush of Hotch’s fingers caressing your arm.

You swallow hard as you look away. The air around you is suddenly too tight. You want to curse your body as your nipples harden under his steady gaze, there being no way to blame it on the cold. Derek notices the exchange and leans in, the heat between you two palpable. 

His voice is low and husky, “You're all worked up, sweetheart. Don’t think we haven’t noticed.” 

Your pulse quickens, the sound of your heartbeat almost drowning out his words. “I’m not the only one,” you counter, voice quieter, but the challenge in it is unmistakable. You feel Spencer shift next to you, his body tense as he feels like he’s been caught staring at your chest. “Don’t be shy, genius,” Derek teases. “We’re all thinking the same thing right now.” You can’t help but smile at Spencer’s flustered look. “It’s… It’s hard not to, when you-” He cuts himself off, his voice faltering as his eyes dart away from your breasts. 

Hotch is still standing by the door, his eyes narrowing slightly as he watches the dynamic play out. “We’ve been stuck in here long enough. I think it’s safe to say we all want and feel the same thing.” The air thickens with desire as he dares to say the thought that’s been occupying everyone’s mind. You glance at the others, seeing how Spencer is adjusting himself in his pants and the way Derek is watching you, his gaze so intense it almost feels like he’s touching you. 

“Guess it’s only fair if we all just… give in to it,” you murmur, your eyes flicking between them. The suggestion is there, unspoken but understood. 

From there on everything feels like a blur. You hear Hotch growl behind you as he wraps his bicep around your neck, pulling you in as his lips crash against yours. You whimper against his mouth, which gives him the opportunity to let his tongue slide in. You welcome his tongue with yours as your hand moves to squeeze the arm around your neck, making full use of the circumstances to feel up on his muscles. 

“You’re always driving me crazy when wearing this skirt,” Hotch groans in your ear as his teeth pull on your earlobe. You can find no other way to respond than let out a high pitched sound of enjoyment as his free hand kneads your ass through your pencil skirt. Spencer watches the scene unfold in front of him. How his boss roughly grabs and kisses you, manhandling you. 

 “I- I don’t know about this…” Spencer stammers. 

Morgan turns to him, breaking the intense gaze he had on you and Hotch. “Don’t worry Reid, she’s enjoying it.” 

“Are you sure?” Spencer asks, uncertainty in his voice as Hotch is pulling on your hair, giving him access to plant kisses and bites on your neck. 

Morgan grins, “Let me show you how sure I am,” he says as he steps towards you and Hotch. He rolls your skirt up to your stomach and lets his fingers slide over your panties, cursing when it easily slips between your folds, creating a wet sound. You moan at the friction, not in the state to feel embarrassed by how wet you are. 

“See Reid, she loves it,” Derek points out, licking his lips as he pulls your damp panties to the side. Spencer lets out a groan as Derek reveals your glistening pussy, his hand subconsciously squeezing the bulge in his pants for any form of release.

“Let me see,” Hotch insists, removing his lips from your neck. Derek slides a finger through your folds and proudly displays the stickiness to Hotch. 

“You’re such a little slut, aren’t you?,” Hotch whispers, his nose pressed against the side of your face. “Just been begging to get in a situation like this so we could all fuck you the way you deserve.” You whimper at his dirty words and hot breath on your skin. Your legs feel like jelly as he grinds himself against your ass. Derek continues to apply pressure with his hand as he lets his fingers rub up and down your lips and clit. 

Spencer’s eyes are burning holes in your chest. He just can’t understand how no one has touched your lovely tits, while they’ve been teasing him the entire time. 

“You can come here Spence,” you purr, hypnotizing him to walk towards you. He swallows as he’s close enough to touch you, close enough to hear all the little sounds you’re making as you’re being touched all over. 

“Can I-?” You don’t let Spencer finish his question as you quickly nod, throwing your head back as his finger grazes over your nipple, sending a direct spark of pleasure to your clit. 

“You’re beautiful,” he whispers mostly to himself in awe as he cups your breast, the shape fitting perfectly in his large hand. 

“Thank you,” you whisper back. It’s ironic how his sweet compliment is the thing that's making you shy.

Derek slips a finger inside of you with ease, and you bite your lip to hold back your mewls. “Don’t do that. I like the way you sound.” Spencer encourages, resulting in another moan from you, loving the effect his words have on you. 

Hotch unclasps your bra from behind and Spencer helps him by pulling your straps down, letting your breasts fall free. Hotch grabs your left breast, kneading it with his strong, calloused hands as he rolls your nipple in between his fingers. Spencer uses the momentary distraction to bend down and experimentally licks your nipple, humming at the sensation. He gives a couple more licks to your breast as he pulls your nipple in between his lips, sucking on it as he flicks his tongue against the sensitive bud. 

You feel overwhelmed by the way all of your erogenous zones are stimulated at once; Hotch licking and biting on your neck and ear, while massaging your breast and grinding his hardness against your ass. Spencer’s swollen lips and wet tongue tracing over your nipple as Derek caresses your thighs as he adds a second finger into your pussy. You realize that this is what pleasure is supposed to be like. The zones on your body are all connected and you haven’t experienced true bliss until those spots get triggered at the same time. 

“Morgan, is she ready?” Hotch asks, breathing heavily. 

“More than ready, sir,” Derek grins as he takes a step back. He lets his fingers slide out of you, making you whimper at the loss of contact, but then Hotch turns you around so that your chest is pressed up against the elevator doors where he was standing. 

“I need you for myself,” he groans. Derek tosses a condom from his jeans and Hotch catches it, ripping the package with his teeth while pulling his trousers down to his knees, not wanting to let a single moment go to waste. Your hands are pressed against the wall as he slowly enters you. 

“Oh my god… I feel so full,” you whine and you swear you could feel him grin as you register that he’s not even fully inside of you. You let out a long breath as you feel his balls make contact with your ass. 

“You’re doing okay there, princess?” Derek chuckles and you nod. Hotch slowly moves his length out of you as he slams his hips back in with a groan. You gasp as you wrap your hand around the back of his head, keeping yourself steady as he continues thrusting into you. His growls feel hot against your neck. His sweaty chest pressed up against your back, leaving you completely in his grasp.

“You feel that angel? How your pussy swallows my cock?” You let out a cry as you nod your head in agreement. 

“I don’t understand Y/N. You’re a big girl, use your words.” 

“Oh god…’’ Your head spins as he pounds into you. “I’m not going to tell you again Y/N, use your words.” He orders. 

“Yes!’’ you cry out. ‘’God yes Aaron, it feels so good. I can feel you so deep inside of me.” 

“Say my name again.” He moans as his hand trails down your stomach until it reaches your swollen bud. “Aaron, please… I’m so, so close.” He gives some quick taps to your clit, making you squirm in pleasure as your knees give out. His strong hands grip you by the waist and he hoists you back up on his dick. “I’m almost there honey, you can keep it up, be good for me.” 

You let out a string of whines as he uses the palm of his hand to swiftly move against your folds, indirectly bringing pleasure to your clit. You can’t take it any more, pressing your nails into his arms as you crouch down in front of him, shaking as your release hits you. Hotch groans loudly as his dick slips out of your pussy. His dick twitches as he takes off the condom, painting your back with hot spurts of cum.

You have your eyes closed, trying to catch your breath as you’re still riding down your orgasm. You hum as you feel the soft material of Spencer’s sweater vest against your back, cleaning you up. 

“You okay?” Spencer asks, kneeled in front of you. You nod your head and softly smile at his tenderness. 

“Yeah. I feel really, really good.” You answer, making Spencer return your smile. With him in front of you, you notice the visible outline of his bulge pressed against his thigh and reach out to touch it. Your fingers lightly brush over his length, causing him to shudder. 

“Do you want me to take care of you?” You ask sensually, looking in his eyes. 

“Not really,” he responds, taking you by surprise. He sees your expression and quickly corrects himself. “It’s not like I don’t want you to! I’d- I’d love you to do…”, he’s not actually sure what you planned on doing to him. “Whatever you would do. I just-,” his voice softens, meeting your gaze. “I really need to know what you taste like.” 

Your cheeks warm, feeling your arousal grow. “Okay,” you exhale. Spencer extends his hand, helping you up. You find your blazer and bundle it up for Spencer to lay his head on. You’re amazed at how willing he is to get down on the floor, ready to eat you out in a very nontraditional and arguable unsanitized way. You hover over his face as you get down on your knees, letting out a hum as his breath tingles your pussy. Spencer kneads your calves and runs his hands up the back of your thighs. He tilts his head up, placing a wet kiss on your inner thigh.

“Feels good,” you mumble. Spencer responds with a hum against your skin, the vibration causing you to moan. He grabs your thighs, slowly pulling them further apart. “I can’t wait to taste you,” he admits, sticking out his tongue and licking a stripe up your folds. You moan, arching your back. Through hooded eyes you spot the figure of Hotch. He’s sitting against the wall in front of you, lazily stroking his half hard length as he stares at you. 

Just when you were about to question where Morgan was, you catch him in your periphery. He holds your gaze as he approaches, coming to a stop right in front of you. His belt buckle hangs open, but it doesn’t look like he’s touched himself. 

“If you don’t mind, I’d really like to take up on that offer genius here denied.” You grin at him, hands reaching out to his belt. Spencer is keeping himself busy, licking and sucking up your juices. You pull Derek’s pants down, gasping as his dick springs free, slapping against his happy trail. You groan in delight as you wrap your hand around his shaft. He tilts his head back at the contact. “Fuck baby, your hands feel so warm and soft.” You lean forward and let some of your spit dribble down on his dick, making him hiss. You move your thumb in circles over his tip, mixing your saliva with his precum. When it feels like it’s wet enough, you move your hand up and down his length in a steady motion.

His tip grows red and you cannot resist licking your lips before putting your mouth on him. He feels heavy in your mouth as you take him in deeper, stimulating him with your tongue as you suck. His hands tangle in your hair, holding you as he moves in sync with your movements. 

Spencer moves a hand up the curve of your ass while he uses the other to unbuckle his belt. He slides his hand in his pants, rubbing himself over his boxers as he relishes in your taste. His lips nibble on your labia as his nose tickles against your clit. 

“Don’t get distracted, baby girl,” Derek states, softly pushing your head back down. You swallow around him and try to up your pace. Derek takes your breast in his hand, massaging it. As your nipples harden he takes one in between his fingers, pulling on it. You gasp at the sensation, making his dick slide deeper down your throat. 

“Fuck! Right there baby, that feels so good,” he pants. You blink away tears, continuing the steady movement of your head and swirls of your tongue. 

Spencer’s dick starts feeling too hot in his boxers and he pulls it out, so that it lays against his stomach. Your pussy is absolutely dripping because of the swipes of Spencer’s tongue and the taste of Derek in your mouth. Spencer can’t keep up with licking you clean, your wetness dripping down his chin. He reaches out to grab his length, the skin to skin contact overstimulating him. 

You notice Spencer getting restless underneath you. Derek’s dick pops out of your mouth. “Are you okay, Spence?” You ask. He hums against your clit in response, you let out a high pitched moan and instinctively bend your knees. “Sorry,” you apologize as you want to tilt your hips back up, but Spencer pulls you back down by your thighs, making you sit on his face.

“Oh god…” You moan as he starts devouring you. He keeps a hand firm on your ass as he starts jerking himself off to the beautiful sounds that you’re making. You lazily tug on Derek’s cock, too distracted by Spencer’s tongue. 

“Oh Spencer, I’m going to cum,” you whimper, mouth open and brows furrowed in pleasure. You start grinding yourself on his tongue, seeking your release. You find the perfect spot and Spencer presses the tip of his tongue against your clit, as you fall undone. Spencer laps up your juices and squeezes the load out of his dick as it splatters on his belly. You lift your hips to give Spencer some space. He moves away, joining you on his knees as he sits behind you, pressing featherlight kisses to your back. 

“I’m not gonna last that much longer,” Derek announces, who’s been stroking himself to your orgasm. “Come here, then,” you invite as you take him back in your mouth. Placing a hand on his thigh for support, you use all of the energy that is left in you to suck him off. Your free hand reaches out to play with his balls, which seems to be the trigger for him.

“Fuck, Y/N, baby, I’m going to cum!” He groans deeply as he fills your mouth. You quickly swallow his load, eyes watering as he pulls you in by your head, needing your lips on him as he rides out the aftershocks. 

“Fuck… You’re amazing, sweetheart.” He sighs, letting go of your hair so that you can catch your breath. 

-

“Who the hell is in there?” 

The voice outside is sharp and gruff. Everyone’s heads whip around, startled. Hotch swiftly buckles his belt as he strides towards the elevator doors.

“This is SSA Aaron Hotchner of the BAU. I’m stuck here with three of my agents.” 

The voice responds quickly, dripping with disbelief. "Why didn’t you morons use the emergency button?"

Your colleagues look at each other, then shift their gaze to you, all with accusing looks plastered on their faces.

"Hey, don’t look at me! I’m the first one that pressed the red button!" You say in defense. 

The voice outside huffs in frustration. "Red? It's a black button."

You blink in surprise, your gaze snapping to the panel. You crawl up to get a better look, and sure enough, there's a black button, boldly labeled ‘EMERGENCY.’

"What in the world?" you mutter under your breath. "Then what the hell is the red button for?!"

The voice outside laughs sarcastically. "How the hell am I supposed to know? I’ve been working here for six months. Don’t blame me because you can’t read." He pauses, clearly shaking his head. "FBI agents, my ass."

You blink in disbelief. You share an incredulous glance with Derek, then burst out laughing, your frustration giving way to amusement. "Seriously?" you mutter, shaking your head. 

Derek notices how Spencer’s been unusually quiet. “Speak up, kid,” he urged. 

“I’ve known what the buttons do the entire time,” he says, voice casual.

You and Hotch both turn to look at him, eyes wide. “What?!” You both exclaim at the same time. 

Spencer shrugs, a playful glint in his eyes. “I told you about those movies where people overcome their differences to try to escape. I wanted to see how we would solve it.”

Derek’s mouth drops open. “You’ve been sitting here the whole time knowing exactly what to do and didn’t say anything?!” 

Spencer smiles, looking almost proud of himself. “It’s a team-building exercise,” he says matter-of-factly. “Don’t tell me that you didn’t enjoy it.”

You shake your head, laughing in disbelief. “You’re unbelievable, Reid.”

As if on cue, the elevator jolts, and the soft ding of the doors opening fills the space.

[archiverstappen]

appendix touch ✧ max verstappen

max verstappen x ferrari! fem! reader

masterlist

the beloved ferrari heiress just had her appendix removed, and now the whole world is convinced that she's going to start an epidemic

[messages]

[instagram]

[twitter]

[instagram]

yn_ferrari

liked by maxverstappen1 and 1.735.028 others

yn_ferrari I understand that, without my agreement, my father has put out an instagram story this afternoon that makes it seem like I’m dying. This is true, I do feel like I’m dying. I’m having my appendix removed.

view all 1.832 comments

maxverstappen1 Will get that win for you 💙

↳ yn_ferrari no, thanks ❤️

↳ papaferrari Please let Carlos/Charles win for Y/N’s faster recovery 😊

username SHE’S SO UNSERIOUS 😭

oscarpiastri 🤨

↳ yn_ferrari poet of the century

alex_albon Been there, done that

↳ yn_ferrari teach me your ways, master

username THANK GOD IT’S JUST AN APPENDIX

username get well soon mother

carlossainz55 Get well soon, mi hermana 😂

↳ yn_ferrari soy lago

↳ landonorris stop copying me 😒

charles_leclerc Fake 🤭

↳ yn_ferrari i’ll pinch your appendix with my bare hands so you’d know how it feels

↳ alexandrasaintmleux 😨

↳ yn_ferrari look away, my love 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

scuderiaferrari Get well soon, Boss ❤️

[messages]

[instagram]

[twitter]

[instagram]

scuderiaferrari

liked by papaferrari and 2.736.991 others

scuderiaferrari Patient 0, Patient 1, and Charles 😄 The gang is finally back in a land down under 🦘

tagged yn_ferrari, carlossainz55, charles_leclerc

view all 2.155 comments

username Y/N YOU BETTER STAY AWAY FROM CHARLES 😭

papaferrari My children 🧒🧒🧒

username favorite trio ever

username the fact that we won't be seeing them together again next year 😞

yn_ferrari admin... what's with the caption? 🙂

↳ scuderiaferrari Hi boss, please don't fire me

charles_leclerc I'm a survivor ❤️‍🩹

↳ yn_ferrari you're next 👹

↳ papaferrari Don't say that kind of thing, I can't have all of my children go through the same surgery three weeks in a row

↳ charles_leclerc 🤪🤪🤪 yn_ferrari

↳ carlossainz55 We'll try again next time yn_ferrari

username she's got that appendix touch, because every appendix that she touches starts to burst 🤷‍♀️

↳ yn_ferrari HELP 💀

[twitter]

[instagram]

yn_ferrari

liked by maxverstappen1 and 3.283.332 others

yn_ferrari beyond proud of what you guys achieved today, words can't describe how i feel! and no, contrary to popular belief i had nothing to do with max's dnf 😮‍💨

ps. someone said i've got the appendix touch, soo... if you're interested just hit me up

view all 3.122 comments

maxverstappen1 🙍‍♂️

maxverstappen1 Enjoy it while it lasts, Schat 😑

↳ yn_ferrari I will 😽

redbullracing You're temporarily banned from our garage🙏

↳ yn_ferrari I DIDNT DO ANYTHING?!

↳ redbullracing A source spotted you touching the rear wing of Max's car 💔

↳ yn_ferrari THAT'S A LIE.... scuderiaferrari STEP UP?

↳ scuderiaferrari Sorry, we're too focused on celebrating P1 and P2

↳ mercedesamgf1 Wow, can't relate scuderiaferrari

username why is there a video of you running down the pitlane after race, pls explain 😭

↳ yn_ferrari i was watching the race with max at red bull’s hospitality 🏃‍♀️💨

carlossainz55 Us 1 - Appendicitis 0 🍾

↳ yn_ferrari yes sir 🫡

charles_leclerc Can I have my appendix removed too? papaferrari

↳ papaferrari No

landonorris Do mine next, I need to win

alex_albon Can I have my appendix removed again?

↳ yn_ferrari control your man lilymhe 😭

↳ lilymhe bffr 🤬

username FORZA FERRARI SIEMPRE

↳ yn_ferrari rrrAAAGHHHH 🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎

scuderiaferrari We're so happy, our appendix literally burst 🥹

↳ username new merch idea?

↳ scuderiaferrari Noted 📝

papaferrari Dinner on me tonight 😎 carlossainz55 charles_leclerc

↳ charles_leclerc Finally

↳ carlossainz55 On my way!

↳ maxverstappen1 Can I come too?

↳ papaferrari I guess so, Y/N would be mad if I didn't invite you

↳ charles_leclerc Max got a pity invite 🤭

↳ yn_ferrari KEEP MY BOYFRIEND'S NAME OUT OF YOUR F-ING MOUTH

↳ lewishamilton Can i come? 🤔

↳ carlossainz55 My wound is still fresh...

↳ yn_ferrari LET HIM HAVE THIS ONE, SIR. WE'LL SEE YOU NEXT YEAR 🤗

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pictures (c) to pinterest and instagram