#can someone please explain what I’m looking at?

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Fantasy 1

Warnings: non/dubcon, stalking, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

Characters: Curtis Everett

This AU is called Watcher Anonymous and will include different series for different characters. This is our introduction to Curtis and Whimsy.

Summary: the bookshop window holds intrigue for both buyer and seller.

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging ❤️

The door creaks shut as another customer enters. Curtis looks up, greets them with a silty, hey, then goes back to reading. His business isn’t extravagant. He doesn’t need one of those paperback mills selling mass-produced ‘Now a Feature Film’ shills. He works for himself, by himself, and he likes it that way. 

The sunlight traces the outline of the marquee painted on the window onto the table of fiction classic and ripples over the floor. A silhouette appears on the other side of the glass, another passing by. He looks without lifting his head. He’s honed the skill of looking without looking. 

It’s her. She passes everyday, twice a day. Once alone, and once with that man. As she admires the cover he hand-painted to display on the ledge, her escort comes back to hurry her along. Her disappoint darkens her eyes and tugs at her lips. She turns and walks away with him. 

Curtis sighs. She deserves better. Almost a year of her stopping and staring and she’s never set a foot inside. It’s not the business he mourns, it’s the smile that faded at least nine months ago. She used to point out the displays to that other man but after he shrugged her off enough, she stopped trying. 

He can’t claim sainthood. He’s not the most enthusiastic person but he never blights out someone’s passion. He has his own, it’s his business fortunately enough, and he keeps it locked up to keep it safe. Some might see him as stoic but he’s really just cautious. 

He closes the book. He’s not in a mind to read anymore. He can’t follow the dialogue. The customer comes up to pay for a three for five combo and he packs it in a paper bag before sending them off. 

As he sits on his stool, he pulls out the old anthology of Grimm tales he found on eBay. He can restore it but he’s not sure he should just fix the binding or replace the cover altogether. He has an idea, a princess and a cad, robbing her away from her tower... 

Hm. 

The hours tick by and customers come and go. A few children flurry in with their mother only to be disappointed by the lack of Dog Guy or whatever the new fad is. Their guardian pays for a copy of Bronte and goes, promising ice cream to her unsated brood. 

He closes up at six. He has routine. He balances the till and locks everything up. His stomach stirs as he stands outside the door. That night, he has other plans. 

He did it one time. Once. He followed her and that man. He locked the door and left a sign, back in twenty. It was an hour. 

He retraces the steps he made all those weeks ago. The ones he strode in his dreams. He should be doing this. He gets to her building and turns back. He stops himself at her corner. 

He opens Discord. He pulls up the chat with Jake. 

‘You there?’ 

A minute then it shows his friend typing. 

‘Sup?’ 

Curtis doesn’t know how to explain. He knows he can tell Jake anything; Jake tells him everything. 

He gets his thoughts together. He leans on a pole and taps the keys. ‘I’m here.’ 

‘At my place????’ 

‘Hers’. He sends and a shiver rolls over him. 

‘Everything ok?’ Jake asks. 

‘Don’t know why.’ Is all Curtis can come up with. 

He puts his phone away. It doesn’t matter what Jake says. He's there and he’s not turning back. Besides, it’s not like he’s going to do anything. 

He walks by her building. She’s on the second floor. He saw her in the window the first time. It’s hard to see up but climbing a tree is a little much. He sees the lamp light and her shadow, but not much else. He’s annoyed. He didn’t think this through even though it’s all he thought about. Ever. 

He lingers, retracing his steps, wandering around the building, avoiding odd looks. It’s almost nine. The side door opens on his twentieth lap of the block. He pauses at the jangle of cans. He knows her by her gait, even as he can only see her legs behind the big bin of recycling. 

She goes to the taller bins lined up behind the dumpster. She struggles to get the lid up before she dumps the contents. She leans the empty container on top and sniffles. She wipes her eyes and winces. She pulls away but lingers at the corner of the building. 

She touches her cheek as if checking it. It must be tender as she lets out a squeak. He doesn’t know many ways she’d hurt herself there... 

His sole scuffs and she flinches. She looks over at him and hikes up the bucket. He’s been caught. 

“Nice night,” he says and tries not to cringe. He sounds as cheesy as Jake. 

“Sure is,” she agrees with a croak. 

Silence. Awkward and unfurling. She teeters as if afraid to move. He can tell she wants to flee. He doesn't want her to be afraid of him, not like she is with that man.

“You okay?” He asks. 

She twitches again, “f-fine,” she ekes out. 

“Sorry to bother,” he says, “have a good one.” 

“Thanks... you too,” she turns and flops away in her slippers. 

His chest is tight. He makes himself walk away. That was too close.  

He takes his phone out at the end of the street. Jake sent him several messages. He assures him everything is alright. He knows his friend won’t read it for a while. It’s late and he’s doing his ‘surveillance’. All the better, Curtis doesn’t feel like talking. 

[aliwritex]

Hellooo!✨ can I ask you for more car quickie pleaaaasee with Franco?🤭

franco thoughts: fucking in the car again 18+ 1.7k

notes: but this time he’s kinda subby and reader is mean. warnings: whiny franco, ruined orgasm, oral (f rec) finger sucking, pretty doe eyes.

“So, what do you think?” he asked you after giving you a full tour of the apartment.

“It’s nice, I don’t love the colors but it’s really nice. Are you thinking of buying it?”

“I already did. Well, kinda, it’s not mine yet, still going through the process” he turned to face you “do you actually like it?”

“I do, think it’s nice you got a place here, important, since you like being with your family.”

“I thought so too”

You walked to the kitchen counter, leaning against it and he followed, wrapping his arms around your waist. His face was buried on your neck, lips kissing your exposed shoulder as his hands lowered to the back of your thighs.

“What are you doing?” you asked when he lifted you to sit on the counter.

Your hands grabbed his face, he looked up at you with big dumb doe eyes and turned to bite playfully at your hand. He shook his head to make your hands fall to his shoulders so he could nudge at your neck again. You smiled at the kisses, loving the way his hair was brushing against your face. His hands then made their way up your legs, under your dress, caressing your thighs till his thumbs were brushing your underwear.

“Uh-uh” you shook your head and pushed his hands away.

“What? Why?”

You watched him frown and took his face in your hands again, brushing his cheek, “didn’t you just say that the place is not yours yet?” he nodded, looking down but you lifted his chin, his eyes meeting yours again “and does that mean that someone else still owns keys?”

“But they’re not coming in here, why would they?”

“No, baby, let’s go home” you told him, slipping down from the counter.

“Please” he whined.

“I said no, Franco. Let’s go” your rougher tone shook the man, he didn’t mean to be rude, usually you would give in if he asked nicely.

You were already out the door when he finally came back to his senses so he followed out, meeting you by the elevator. You let him take your hand as you stepped in and he rested his head on your shoulder.

“‘M sorry” he mumbled, pressing his head against you.

“It’s fine”

You walked out of the building together, with your hands tied but Franco still felt bad. He didn’t say anything as you got in the car or as he started driving but you caught up to his strange behavior.

“Fran,” you reached out to take his hand in yours, taking to your mouth to kiss it, “it’s fine. I didn’t mean to sound rude.”

“You called me by my name”

“I’m sorry, baby.” you told him playing with his hand on your lap, “I just didn’t want to do anything, there” your tone changed as you said the last word.

“There?” you nodded “So, home?”

“I don’t know, we have to be pretty quiet there, don’t we?” you teased, placing his hand on your upper thigh.

“Want me to find somewhere to park?”

“Aren’t you smart?”

Franco thought for a second to remember somewhere safe to park. He went through a few sketchy streets before parking.

“Same as last time? Aren’t you afraid someone will catch up?” you asked as you undid your seatbelt.

“No one comes here, I swear” he explained almost desperately.

You chuckled at him and climbed into the back seat, making sure that your ass would be right on his face as you did.

“Are you gonna show me how sorry you are?”

Franco nodded eagerly, jumping into the backseat with you, a little less gracefully. You moved till your back was resting against the door to make space for him. Your hand reached for his face, making him look at you, your eyes examined his faces for a second, his big eyes, pretty curls and parted lips – you couldn’t help but push your thumb past them.

He sucked on it, looking into your eyes till you pulled away to kiss him. He was basically laying on top of you as you kissed, hands digging into your sides to hold himself up.

You let your legs wrap around his waist, pulling him closer as you made out, tongues and lips lazily brushing and pressing against each other’s. He took his hand under your dress, finger hooking on the side of your underwear and playing with it.

“Can I take this off? Please?”

You nodded slowly and watched him kneel on the seat to drag your underwear down your legs. He tried his best to get comfortable between your legs but it was impossible, he didn’t mind though – he had your legs around his head, he would be fine.

You pulled him by the hair, your nails scratching his scalp as your fingers tangled in the curls. You kissed him again and he moaned into your mouth when you tugged on his locks. You took a good look at him, he looked angelic, eager to please, almost innocent and so fucking hot.

“Make me feel good, yeah? Need you to touch me” you whispered.

Franco pushed your dress up, out of his way before wrapping his arms under your legs, pulling you closer to his face. He started kissing your thighs, the sides leading up to your middle, his hair tickling your skin. You never looked away from him as he started to pleasure you, licking along your folds before kissing your hole and your clit.

You smiled when he started working on you, tongue and lips exploring your cunt. His fingers joined, dancing around your folds before pressing against your hole. You moaned at the penetration, feeling his fingers work their way into you. Your hand dropped to his head, grabbing his hair again, it made him look at you. His eyes weren’t as wide now,they were dark, lids heavy like he was drunk on you.

“So fucking pretty” you whispered

He curled his fingers up as you looked at him, waiting to watch your reaction. It made you clench around them, and tug on his hair harshly to make him regret teasing you but it only turned him on more. He moaned into you, sending vibrations to your skin.

You pushed your hips forward, making him work harder, lips sucking on your clit while his fingers curled up at a fast pace. Moans were leaving your mouth nonstop, the windows already fogging up around you.

Franco knew you were close, he always did, your legs would shake, your core tense up and your hands would always search for something to grab, usually his hair. You were tugging on it like you were trying to pull it all out and it made his cock twitch in his shorts.

He couldn’t help but moan too when you came, your cunt gripping his fingers so hard and your legs closing around his head as he looked up to watch your chest move up and down from your heavy breathing.

He only knelt back up after making sure you were down from your high. You watched him wait for instructions, knowing you were in a mood to boss him around, so you took his wet fingers and guided them to his own mouth.

“Come on, clean them up” you said and watched him sigh.

You made him brush the fingers on his pretty pouty lips before pushing past them. He gave you a peak of how his tongue danced around the fingers before he closed his lips and it drove you insane. He made a show out of it too, moaning and moving his head around his own fingers, teasing till you couldn’t take it anymore.

“Sit down”

Franco didn’t hesitate for a second, moving from between your legs to sit properly. He watched you sit up too, still sucking his fingers as you unbuttoned his shorts. Your mouth was salivating when you pulled him out of his boxers, but you only teased his tip with a kiss, you knew he wouldn’t last long.

You moved to straddle him, moving your hips back and forth against his tip before sinking down on it. He took both of his hands down to your ass but you quickly stopped him, taking them in yours.

“Keep sucking them” you told him, guiding his fingers back into his mouth. You both hummed when he took them.

You didn’t want any help to move on him, you wanted to send him over the edge quickly, embarrassingly so, humiliate him a bit, show him just how good you could fuck him.

So you went hard. You were bouncing on him, your cunt swallowing him smoothly with every movement. All he wanted to do was grab your tits or have them in his mouth, but you held his hands, one to his mouth and the other down on your thigh.

“Mi amor, porfa” he whined around his own fingers before you pulled them out of his mouth, pressing both of his hands down to the seat, next to his shoulders.

“What is it, Franco?”

“Slow down, please” his voice would only come out in whines, “gonna cum too soon”

“Let it go, yeah, tell me when you’re close” you whispered to his neck, feeling him nod against your head.

It was about a minute before he whined again, telling you he was about to cum. You smiled, before taking his lips in yours, biting the bottom one as you lifted up your hips, letting him slip out of you.

“No, no, no, no” he whined, bucking his hips up as he came, shooting ropes of cum on his shirt. “Fuck!”

You bit your lip, trying to hold back a smile as you watched him pathetically ruin his clothes. You finally let go of his hands, letting them fall to his sides. Your own took different routes, one reaching up to caress his cheek and the other down to his cock.

“So, so beautiful. You’re perfect” you said softly as your hand gripped his softening cock, slowly running up and down. Your hand made him groan, the stimulation being too much for him, but too good to stop you. “but pathetic, look at the mess you made” he couldn’t even open his eyes “let’s get cleaned up, we have to get back home”

Franco nodded “think I have a spare shirt in the trunk” he said, out of breath.

“Smart” you helped him out of the stained shirt and shoved your panties into the back pocket of his shorts. “You go get it, I think I better drive back, huh?”

He nodded, throwing his head back and you kissed him “I love you”

“I love you too, but you’re mean”

[glade-constellation]

This might just be a very niche problem I have, but if I don’t say anything about it it’s going to keep bothering me.

Please stop calling the Astrals a cult.

This post is not directed at any singular person, it’s something I’ve seen since the Astrals were first introduced. I know a lot of people throw the word cult around, so I tried to ignore it, but I also think people need a reminder as to want a cult actually is.

A cult, by definition, is “a religion regarded as unorthodox or spurious”. Basically, a religion based on weird or false information. Some definitions go even broader. What people tend to forget about is that cults have specific characteristics that classify them as cults.

First, cults typically display authoritarianism. There is typically one person in the group regarded as the leader, and they are treated with the highest of respect. Anything preserved as disrespectful towards this person is highly frowned upon, and can lead to harsh punishments. The leader can never be questioned and is never wrong about anything they say. There is no accountability to their actions.

You could say the Astrals portray this with Taurus and Leo, but that’s simply not true. They are very loud about their opinions, but they do not set the rules and they are not the leaders. They are simply the enforcers, just as Virgo is the judge. They simply play a role, they aren’t an authoritative leader. Plus, Gemini said some pretty disrespectful things about both and were allowed to have their opinion. Cults do not allow this behavior.

Which leads into the next point. Cults are very particular about behavior. They are isolationist by nature. They follow a very strict set of beliefs and rituals that must be upheld, or you will be shunned. Breaking them can also result in harsh punishment.

This one I can understand. The Astrals are very strict on rules and behaviors. Breaking them can result in death. Once again, you have to look at this in the right context. Astrals aren’t human. Both characters from the show and Reed himself have explained this. They cannot be held to human standards when they aren’t human. They have to have these rules, because one mess up isn’t just an oops situation. It could level worlds, kill entire universes. Lunar permanently disabled Earth, and has accidentally hurt others before with it. His punishment was completely fair considering what was at stake. I’m not agreeing with how they handled his training by any means, but you have to remember what was at risk.

There are other characteristics that just have nothing to do with the Astrals. The zodiac lore humans came up with pretty obviously aren’t real in TSAMS universe, they don’t have any “sacred text” to follow. They are enforcing cosmic rules to keep the balance of nature, not one set person. They work as a group, no single member has more power than the other. There is no abuse or exploitation of members because they aren’t a religion.

You want to call something a cult? Just look at our Dark Star group. Most are over here praising Cetus as some great higher being. They do everything in his name. The only reasons others are allowed to stay is because they’re spreading the DSP, and even then they’re aren’t really considered members so much as underlings. There are levels to their group. The higher you are, the closer you’re considered to Cetus. Anything else, they just kill. It’s about performance, not genuine belief. (There are cases like Rez where there is belief and then they just become deadly, because they believe everyone not in their group truly deserves their fate.) That is a cult. That is a religion built on false pretenses.

Context is key. Yes, Lunar wasn’t really treated with the best respect. There were things the Astrals could have done differently. Thing is, you cannot hold a non-human being to human standards. Plus, the last time they allowed someone to be an Astral, it backfired on them to the extreme (Cetus). When you have that much power, you have to enforce boundaries for yourself so you don’t accidentally kill a world. Lunar wasn’t blameless. He put himself in this situation the moment he even considered using DSP. The Astrals are not the only ones to blame for Lunar’s current predicament. If anything, the DS group are the ones to blame, not the Astrals. Cults will do that. They will exploit your weaknesses to draw you in and then keep you there. The only reason Rez wanted Lunar to join them was because Lunar had power Rez could use for himself. They dug at Lunar’s fear of uselessness and desperation for control of his life. Lunar is a victim, just not of the Astrals.

Cults are a real thing, they aren’t just a tool used in fiction. Real people are affected by them. Please stop throwing things like that around carelessly when you don’t know the true definition. It takes away from their true weight. Victims of cults are told they’re over exaggerating and telling lies. Turning real world problems into simple fictional tropes have real effects on real victims.

[valentine-cafe]

PUHLEASE MAY I GET RISHEN 209 AND A GIRLFAILIURE READER I NEED THAT BADDIE SO BAD MAYBE A SCENARIO ABOUT A BLUSHING AND S BIT STUPID GIRLFAILIURE SECRETARY THAT IS GETTING SEDUCED BY RISHEN 209?!!!!!! HOT HOT HOT i need them to absolutely ruin me + it would ne hot to be actively seduced by someone so hot like GAWD

˖⁺. ﹙ mad scientist boss x girlfailure reader. ﹚ .𖹭 ݁

. . .don't be so shy, why don't we talk ? !! 🍒 :  villain ˖ hybrid ˖ mad scientist character ˖ yandere

working as one of the secretaries for valence and catching the eyes of your boss makes it even more embarrasing in all of your girlfailure-glory

“Good evening, I am a member of the valence secretary, how may I help you Mr?” You speak into the phone, introducing yourself to the man speaking in the phone.

Today, you are working overtime. Why? Well. . . It is bound to happen when half of your work team is at home sick with the flu. So you and the few other secretaries have been at office for a few days now, busy and overworking yourselves quite a lot.

You hope to write a little sick leave for the coming week due to all of the stress, because truly, you too were a mess. So down in distress you had spilled your boss’ coffee earlier and soaked the expensive carpet.

Had you face not been red enough earlier it certainly was now when you had to put several calls on pause and go back to another call you’d been on previously, looking through papers for their appointments and new schedules or cancellations.

“No ma’am— Yes, No I understand but-”

The talks around you turned into rambles. You were on your 7th coffee this day, with a few rice cakes for lunch, which was 8 hours ago.

Yeah your hand’s a bit shaky, but it’s fine isn’t it? You just need some more coffee and maybe a granola bar of sorts. Something quick so you could get back to talking quickly.

It is not too long before you can get off of work and go home. Surely you could—

And there it is. Shaky fingers slip against the smooth ceramic coffeecup, which shatters on impact with the floor. The warm liquid streams over to the cables as though it was its only true purpose in life.

You’ve never withdrawn so quickly as you have then. Quick to hang up the call but too late to turn off the power on devices surrounding. You the one sitting closest to the power cable of the office as well. . . . Which led straight to the breakroom. . .

And the administration.

Coworkers begin to fuss around, rushing to get towels while you stand and try to explain yourself to some of the ones who make their way over to you. Blushing and running your hands down your face as they all in concern and agitation ask what happened.

You can’t follow up on any sentences or words spoken to you, and even less when cold fingers traps your shoulder in their hold.

Just as you are about to jerk away, a familiar head of curls lean over your shoulder and reveal a pair of maroon eyes that glow in the dark just slightly.

“Take a break with me cariño. Come walk.” He whispers, voice so smooth. Like the pricy silk sheets back in his bed at the herrera manor.

“Mr— Mr. Herrera- I can- I’m so sorry—”

“Shhh, quiet, just come with me sundari.”

He drags you off, and it does not take very long for the power to turn back on and employees getting back into the swing of things. While you and him make your way to his office.

Just as you passed by a few of your work friends, he asks if they could please bring some food from the cafeteria up to his office.

You swore, you would die then and there. Yet knowing him he’d have exactly the thing to bring you back and humiliate you in some other way.

“You’ve been so tired today darling, why not rest hm?” Slowly you feel gentle hands move up and down your shoulders and guide you towards the couch in his office. Settling you against the plush seating.

It still smells of coffee in here.

“Such a pretty tint of red you have on your face,” he croons, as two fingers rest below your chin and slowly tilt it up, for your eyes to look into his.

A chuckle or two vibrates through his chest when you evade the eye contact though.

“Mr. Herrera I am so sorry- I was so deep into work- I didn’t-” You take a deep breath and let out a small, high pitched noise when he leans a little closer.

Your eyes are redirected to his, half lidded ones that are screaming for you as though the both of you were in his bedroom.

“Mr Herrera.”

“You are too pretty to go through that amount of stress darling.” A sigh and then a withdrawal. The man sits down next to you and trails a hand up your spine, dragging shivers along it.

“I should promote you to be the pretty thing that sat in my office all day. Don’t you think?”

“SIR!” You squeak out and clear your throat, face flaring redder than before. Yet he only laughs and leans a little closer again. lips grazing against the lobe of your ear.

“Don’t be so flustered. Come be my doll won’t you?”

[adrift-in-thyme]

Febuwhump Day 9: Necromancy (Wild & the Chain)

Read on Ao3

CW for temporary character deaths, blood and injury, and broken bones

———————————————————-

Only a few inches away, the ocarina lies in a cradle of dust and blood. Wild reaches for it. Clawing fingers scrape through scrawny blades of patchy grass. Dirt cakes beneath fingernails torn and bloodied by battle.

Pain thrums through him. A heartbeat. A war drum. An outcry against what has occurred. A warning against what is to come.

Darkness is blotchy at the edges of his vision. It dances. Tantalizing. Agonizing.

He grits his teeth against it.

Come on. Come on, Link. Don’t give in now.

Don’t let them all die.

His fingers bump against Time’s. Cold. Unfeeling. Limp.

The world tilts. His stomach roils. He fumbles sideways, grasps the instrument instead.

Relief is but little. A drop of water after a lifetime in the desert.

Trembling, he lifts the ocarina to his lips.

“With this, Her Majesty sent me to a yesterday where Ganondorf had not yet vanquished the light…”

“I am sorry, champion. But I am no sage.”

Tears are bitter on his tongue. Wild drags in a breath.

“Neither am I, old man. But let’s hope this works anyway, yeah?”

The smile he dredges up is trembling and insubstantial. He ducks his head.

Aching digits find the grooves where they must settle. Softly, he begins to play.

Time has never played this particular song in their presence. Somehow, he knows it nonetheless. Perhaps, because in far off memories he has dreamt of it, felt it dance beneath the care of hands too youthful to carry the burden they bear.

The melody takes flight, fast and fervent. It penetrates the air, hangs heavy within it, even after his fingers have ceased their movements.

Wild raises tear-smeared eyes to the heavens and breathes a prayer that this will work.

For a long moment, the very earth is still. For a long moment, nothing dares make a sound. It is as though his very surroundings fear to awaken the fallen. He grows close to screaming that they do just that.

To stand here once more amongst those whose breath has stilled due to his own failures…it is more than he can take.

“Come on.” It is a whisper, a platitude. “Please. Let me try again. Let me do this right.”

The world pauses a few seconds more. Then, everything shifts.

It happens so fast he cannot truly comprehend it. Colors blur, sounds overlap in their race to be heard, bodies rise from pits of blood, crimson is swallowed by the thirsty ground.

It stops. Something clicks into place. Everthing begins breathe.

The change is like an explosion to his senses. Wild stumbles, choking on air, as Twilight speeds past him with a shout of caution. Warriors and Legend battle a group of lizalfos. Hyrule and Four stab at a large, lunging hand. Wind bats away a swarm of keese as Sky lunges towards…

Wild grits his teeth. Fury replaces shock. Fire replaces cold fear.

The Shadow.

This, this is the moment when everything went so horribly arry. He has mere seconds in which to change it.

But before he can race forward, a hand encases his bicep, and he turns to look up into the glaring eye of Time.

“Champion.” The word itself seems to rend the air. His expression is made all the more severe by the blood that drains from the gash in his cheek, the pallor of multitudinous wounds. “What did you do?”

Of course. Wild curses himself for his stupidity. Of course Time would know. Of course he would question.

A quick glance over his shoulder assures him that time is slipping through his fingers. Any moment now the Shadow’s blade will gleam in the tranquil glow of moon and stars. Any moment now, Sky will meet his doom at the end of it.

“Can’t explain now,” he gasps, wrenching his arm out of Time’s iron grasp. “I’m sorry. Just…trust me, okay?” He looks at him, pleading, sorrowful.

Somewhere, someone chokes on a cry.

You’ve failed. Again, you’ve failed.

Tears burn hot. His throat is too tight for speech, too tight for the breath he so sorely needs.

“Please, old man. I have to make this right.”

There is an odd emotion in the hero’s gaze, something poignant and piercing and sad. Time opens his mouth to speak.

The words never fly free. A blade finds its home in his chest before they can.

Wild presses a hand to his mouth, backs up, unseeing, ringing in his ears. He stumbles over something that he tells himself is a rock, hits the ground in a tangle of limbs. Before he can even think, the ocarina is at his lips again. Before he can process everything that has occurred around him, he is playing the song.

As his surroundings race and stumble and dip, the Shadow watches him from across the clearing.

He is smiling.

Again, Time reaches out for his arm, a question skewering the air. This time, Wild evades him, ducks and runs. This time, he comes closer to making it.

He almost reaches the Shadow. Almost.

As he comes around the back of him for a speedy sneak attack, an emaciated form screeches loud enough to shatter his very soul.

By the time Wild is once again capable of movement, his only remaining option is to lift that instrument of cursed loveliness and play.

Again, the world careens backwards. Again, he tries. Again, he fails. Again, the melody rings out.

Blood fills his mouth, drains from wounds that meld in their desperate plea to be heard. His limbs ache. His head pounds. The taste of bile bites at his tongue.

Time falls back. He stays the same.

Only…the fear within him builds. Like water rising in a locked room, it accumulates, growing more and more suffocating as it does.

Sky cries out in rage and agony, lunges at the one who has killed him countless times before. Time chokes on his own blood and still fights. Wind screams as he is cut down, and Warriors falls in exhausted silence from one wound too many, and Twilight offers him a small smile as he crumples beneath a blade meant for a champion.

Wild watches them all, fighting, falling, rising with missing limbs and arrows sticking grotesquely from chests and backs. He watches them tear at their enemy until they can do so no longer.

He sobs as he plays. He sobs as he struggles. He sobs as reality melds into something far too familiar.

He is standing once more before a monstrosity of violet and crimson. He is holding up a blade that cannot save him, grasping a hand of one he will not protect.

I’m sorry.

How many times has it been now? How many times have they fallen and he cannot save them?

Time doesn’t even have a moment in which to pose his query now. The monsters grow quicker. The seconds combine.

I’m so, so sorry.

Wild runs until his limbs scream, fights until his sword shatters.

The clock ticks down the seconds and he fails to keep up.

He fails…

Perhaps, that is his lot in life.

“Oh, I believe it is,” croons the Shadow. “As entertaining as this has been, I urge you to give up now. Allow death to claim you, little hero. In the vast nothingness, it will not hurt so much.”

“No.” He chokes the word in a voice that hardly sounds like his own.

(How, how had Time managed this as a child? How had he retained his sanity? How had he still held onto hope?)

“I won’t stop. I’m not dead yet.”

The Shadow merely laughs. His mocking cackles are still ringing in his ears as the cycle begins again.

…

He is screaming like a madman when, at last, he gives Sky the advantage. His body has all but given up. It is sheer stubbornness that keeps him upright now. Stubbornness and fury.

At the Shadow. At himself.

The hands that hold the slate aloft are trembling so violently that aiming is nearly impossible. The sound of stasis locking in reverberate through his skull. The shattered remnant of a blade that he raises high above his head is too heavy, too unwieldy. He hurls it with every ounce of paltry strength left within.

It hits its target.

It hits just as Sky brings the Master Sword down.

Black blood spurts in an arc so graceful it aches. A screech rings out so loudly, Wild longs to block his ears against it.

He hits the ground sideways. Something crunches in his shoulder, cracks. He sees stars.

“Curse you!”

The scream is not directed at the wielder of the righteous blade. It is directed at him. Wild raises his head, dizzily meets orbs of deepest scarlett. Blood falls from bared fangs. Sky strikes again and more cascades toward the earth.

“Curse you you abhorrent pest!” The beast staggers forward. The fury held within his eyes is such that Wild half expects to dissolve into ashes on the spot. “I should have slaughtered you when I had the chance! Very well, I will bring you down with me!”

A sword pierces the sky. Swiftly, it careens downwards towards him. Blearily, Wild watches it fall.

“I don’t think so.”

An arrow zips past, pierces one crimson eye. Another follows and another and another, a rain of projectiles from different directions, different bows.

Sky raises his hand to the heavens. The Master Sword sings in opposition to the cacophony of outraged screams. It collides with utter darkness, cleaves through.

The Shadow erupts into a million flecks of obsidian.

Wild can only stare, at first, at the spot where for an eternity he had stood. Then, other voices begin to pierce the ringing in his ears. Worried, questioning voices.

A hand comes to rest on his shoulder. He gazes into an eye of sharpest, deity-marked blue. He is held captive in its intensity, pinned beneath the knowledge he knows rests in it.

“Here.” With trembling hands, he lifts the ocarina upward. Blood and soot mar the crystalline surface. “This…this belongs to you.”

Time gazes at the instrument for a moment. Then, slowly, he takes it.

“Cub,” he murmurs, and his tone has such emotion in it, such gentleness, Wild cannot even begin to comprehend it all, “what did you do?”

Salt water comes like a wave upon the turbulent sea. It floods his eyes, stings his nose, burns his mouth. Wild squeezes his eyes shut, chokes on it.

“I’m s-sorry. I’m so, s-so sorry.”

The arms that envelope him are steady, strong. He grasps at the shredded threads of a tunic sleeve, buries his face in a chest of unforgiving armor.

“I’m sorry I let you all die.”

“You didn’t.” He feels more than hears the voice. Feels it rumble like thunder against his cheek. “You didn’t allow us to die. You saved us all.”

Something soft wafts about him, something sweet. The exhaustion that tugs at him grows so strong he feels that fighting it is akin to swimming upstream without the aid of Zora armor.

But the others are gathering around now, kneeling, wrapping their arms around he and Time until he is encased in the blessed darkness of safety. And he must remain alert, he must. He cannot bear to lose this that he has strived so hard to regain.

“I am sorry, cub,” Time whispers, amidst the sound of eight hearts beating, eight pairs of lungs filling eight forms with life. “I know how heavy a burden you have borne. You should never have had to carry it.

“But we thank you, nonetheless. We thank you for fighting so that we could live another day. You, Hero of the Wilds, are a true hero.”

A chorus of solemn assents covers him. A cloak in a world of cold. And try as he might, Wild cannot hold back a fresh onslaught of bitter tears.

When, at last, he loses his grip on consciousness, he drifts off in the arms of his brothers. Warm and real and alive.

[angsty-aliens]

I’m on a couple Facebook groups where people can ask veterinarians questions and only vets are allowed to answer

I find this sort of resource to be super helpful because I can use the search function if I’m ever curious about some super specific thing.

However people are dumb. People are so dumb. There are so many posts that are like “my cat got mauled by a dog. What should I do?” And they’ll attach a photo of a cat missing huge chunks of flesh.

“You need to go to the vet.”

Or “I didn’t realize how bad my dogs teeth are. What should I do?” And the photo is of a dog’s mouth absolutely crusted in plaque with a tooth visibly broken.

“Go to the vet.”

“My 5 pound yorkie was just bitten by a copperhead snake. Can I just give them benedryl?”

“Go to the ER vet.”

Please. For the love of god, PLEASE take your animals who are clearly in distress to the medical professionals. I get that it can be expensive but there are often low cost clinics to help with people who are struggling financially. I’ve taken stray cats to the humane society clinics and it’s much cheaper but you do need to be very patient because you’ll have to wait to be seen. But please don’t think your dog that was run over by a car can be fixed by you giving Tylenol at home. 😳 (also don’t give animals Tylenol. That’s a terrible idea.)

[totheadhdgodsletmebe]

To be fair though there are a lot more things, that he has do that feel magical.

Like for example sealing a Spirtomb.

Or the entire bond phenomenon, and it also effecting his Lucario. Point being Gerninja, was not the only thing effecting that. (Also the fact he passes out/ goes through a lot of pain like me did when the lake guardians got bombed)

Also I do think there is kinda a magic system? It’s is not at all defined, but I’m going to connect all the weird loose ends that I can remember.

And instead of it being a system that can only effect some people, but there are few people that have a better connection with it. Or at the very least know kinda how it works.

With both Keystones, Z-crystals, and the other gimmicks. They all use the same energy, they just take different forms kinda.

Like when he was looking for a Keystone for his Lucario, he and his pokemon were able to sense it. That also kinda makes sense about what Riley said about it both living creature and inanimate objects, create aura waves.

As long as those waves can sink together, then they can get stronger. Which was what Gerninja, was trying to teach Lucario to do when they meet.

So for this to work there has to be two different systems of power. Generally Aura would be the main life force, also kinda the energy of emotions? Even thought all the moves in game, are connected to the fighting type. There are a lot of pokemon that not being a fighting types, are also related to it. (Aura Trio, Sylveon, and Cutiefly).

Which kinda denotes that it’s not just for that type of pokemon.

Going back to the gimmicks. Let’s say for Z-crystals, a person first does the whole dance. Their aura goes into the crystal, it becomes elemental energy, the pokemon then takes said energy. It has to expel it somehow so it doesn’t get hurt, boom you have a super powered move.

Mega Evolution, the only change is there is no convention. Also unlike Z-power it’s not a single push of energy, it’s a constant stream. So because it can’t be expelled quickly, the pokemon then has to change its form to be able to use the energy without it hurting them. (Most of the time)

This kinda also explains why Ash could just pop, an Z-move without knowing anything about it. He already had a muscle memory, of giving his energy to someone else.

He, like stated in the movie just has a lot. (Most likely because of bloodline?)

Anyway this was my attempt. If I got anything wrong please tell me, I’ll correct.

Pokémon really went “Let’s make a movie to tease Gen 4’s Lucario involving a legendary that’s already had a movie instead of just making another episode. Also, let’s make the movie really good, add a bunch of worldbuilding like an ancient war and on top of that, Ash is confirmed to have magical powers now so we should use Lucario’s little gimmick to create a magic system that retroactively explains every weird thing Ash has ever done.”

[hana-bobo-finch]

spent the evening drawing a little something to commemorate my first time playing hollow knight

just entered greenpath and I LOVE the ambiance of it, i really couldn’t do it justice here

[franknfurterstriangulardinosaur]

i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face to leave my head. i want his face-

[fingertipsmp3]

Just once I want to google something I’m experiencing and not find out that it’s often a symptom or a side effect of OCD

[redley-of-many-noodles]

*holding writhing bag of shitty memes*

I GOT THE MORBS, START UP THE GRINDER

[r0semultiverse]

Bluesky actually lags out my 8-10 year old computer on Firefox with Ublock on. Not even into the triple digits with blocked elements and everything is lagging. WHY IS YOUR SITE SO LAGGY? WHAT MAKES THIS SITE SPECIFICALLY EAT SO MUCH CPU?? EVEN TUMBLR IS MORE OPTIMIZED! 😡

[mggslover]

Stuck

In which reader finds herself stuck in an elevator with her colleagues.

Pairing: Hotch x Reid x Morgan x Fem!BAU!Reader Genre: smut (18+) Content warnings: fingering, oral (f and m receiving), face riding, p in v sex, overstimulation, masturbation, breast play Word count: 5,4k A/n: I'm ovulating, so you know what time it is 🤭 I'm really nervous to post this, so I hope you will enjoy!

“Oh, you guys are such babies!” You laugh as Spencer and Derek refuse to step into the elevator, explaining how they’ve been stuck in one before. 

“It’s not funny, Y/N,” Spencer chimes in. “There are six elevator deaths per year. Not to mention ten thousand injuries that require hospitalization.”   

You roll your eyes at his comment, just as Hotch walks toward the elevator. “See!” You exclaim. “Hotch is joining us, and he saved you last time. We’ll be fine.” You add cheerfully.

“You’re coming?” Hotch asks, holding the elevator door open. You nod, pulling Morgan and Reid with you by their arms. 

You chuckle at their nervous reflections in the mirror as the elevator starts moving. A sudden creak causes Derek to snap his head towards you. “It made the same sound the last time!” You were just about to shut Derek up as the elevator shakes and the lights start flickering. 

“Not again!” Spencer whimpers, his eyes squeezed shut like he’s about to fall to his death at any given moment.

Hotch inspects the tight space, his expression grim. “It seems like the electricity went out…” 

“Actually, there are a lot of reasons why an elevator might stop,” Spencer interjects. “It could be worn-out suspension ropes, and it actually happens quite regularly that the motor overheats the safety sensors of the-“ 

“Let’s just solve this problem, shall we?” You cut him off, nudging Morgan out of the way to hit the red button on the panel. 

“You think that’ll do something?” Morgan asks, brow lifted. 

“It will alert someone that we’re stuck. We have to wait until somebody comes and gets us out of here.” Hotch adds. 

“Well at least I’ll be missing my meeting with Strauss,” I sigh in relief. 

“It was at twelve, right?” Spencer asks. 

“Yeah,” you respond with a nod.

“Statistically the average wait time to be rescued from an elevator is less than an hour,” Spencer continues, checking his watch. “That means you could still make it in time.” 

“Now that’s just what I wanted to hear,” you say sarcastically, earning a grin from Morgan. 

“We can only hope we won’t be in here for that long,” Hotch mutters, his impatience visible as he leans uncomfortably against the elevator doors. 

“Okay… so now what? Want to go over a case to pass the time?” 

“No, no cases please,” Morgan groans. “We’ve had three in a row. I’m done.” 

“Morgan is right. We’ve done enough cases in the past few days.” Hotch agrees. 

You mutter an “alright” as you sit down with your back against the elevator wall, smoothing out the crinkles in your skirt. The others look at you with uncertainty. Eventually Reid decides to sit next to you, exchanging a soft smile. Morgan follows suit, sitting in front of you. Hotch remains standing. You leave him be and turn to Spencer. 

“So Reid, I’m sure you’ve got enough interesting facts to pass the time.” 

Spencer looks surprised by the request, not used to directly being asked to share his facts, but his eyes quickly brighten, eager to share. “Well, actually, there are a lot of interesting things to say about elevators. There are approximately 20 million elevators worldwide,” you chuckle at his obvious enthusiasm. “The first elevator was created in 236 B.C. by Archimedes, a Greek mathematician. He used a water wheel and tied animals together with rope to create a lift mechanism.” You hum in interest. “They used lifts in the Colosseum, right?” 

“Yes! Exactly!” he responds excitedly. “The system was powered by eight men who would turn this massive wooden shaft connected to ropes. It could hold more than 600 pounds!” 

“Oh come on,” Derek says, his hand falling to his knee. “You’re telling me you’re actually interested in the mechanics of ancient elevators?”. 

Hotch glances at Morgan, silently agreeing with Derek’s skepticism. 

“Derek Morgan…” you feign offense, placing a hand on your chest. “Don’t act like I’m not curious about knowledge. At least Spence’s got something interesting to say.” 

Spencer blushes faintly, appreciating your defense. 

“Hey, I know facts too,” Morgan says smugly. “How about there being 7000 languages in the world today.” 

“The overall number is actually closer to 8000,” Spencer corrects him. “You only counted verbal communication.” 

“You guys are going to have a facts competition now?” You ask, bewildered. “It’s way too hot in here. I need some light conversation.”

“I agree,” Hotch mutters. “It is getting a little warm.”

You glance up at the AC in the corner of the elevator, which is clearly not working. It probably shut down along with the power. There’s a brief silence before Reid speaks up again. 

“I never thought I’d be trapped in an elevator with my colleagues,” he muses. “It’s a little cliché.”

“Cliche, how?” Hotch asks, intrigued despite himself. 

“You know how, in movies, a group of people get stuck in an elevator and they have to learn to overcome their differences to escape?” 

You shake your head in confusion, “I think I only know the dirty movies where they get stuck in an elevator,” you laugh. 

Spencer blinks at you, clearly thrown off. Derek chuckles at the scene, and even Hotch manages a faint smile. 

“I should’ve known you’ve only watched the dirty ones,” Derek teases. 

“What about you, pretty boy?  Ever seen a dirty movie?” He asks Spencer, grinning. 

Reid looks flustered. “I grew up in Vegas… I’ve seen some things.” 

“Ah, Vegas,” you say, sighing dreamily. “The place where you can’t drive for a minute without seeing a giant porn billboard.”

Morgan grins, leaning back with a satisfied sigh. “Sounds like my kind of place.” 

You laugh and kick his leg playfully. Morgan winks at you, enjoying the lighthearted banter. You glance up at Hotch, who is still the only one standing. 

“What about you, Hotch? What’s your favorite dirty movie?” You ask with a mischievous grin, but your expression quickly drops when you see his stern look. 

“Watch it, Y/L/N.” Hotch warns.

“Come on, Hotch,” Derek says. “Let loose a little!”

“See it as the universe’s sign.” I press on. 

“How is being stuck in here a sign of the universe?” Hotch asks, brows raised.

“Well, no way would you willingly take a break yourself. Now the universe got you stuck in here and is forcing you to relax,” you explain, with a playful gleam in your eyes. 

To everyone’s surprise, he slowly lowers himself to the floor, sitting down next to you. 

You exchange surprised looks with Derek and Spencer. All amazed at how you managed to get Hotch to sit down.

The next few minutes are spent in comfortable silence, scared to say something that will make Hotch change his mind. You’re glad he joined you, but it’s hard to ignore the rising temperature now that another person is sitting in close proximity to you. 

“How long has it been?” you ask, fanning yourself with your blazer. “I’m starting to sweat.”

“Thirty-five minutes so far,” Derek replies, following your lead and fanning himself. 

Hotch looks mildly uncomfortable, beads of sweat forming on his forehead. Spencer, however, looks the most miserable using the collar of his sweater vest to wipe his face. 

“You guys should take your jackets off,” you suggest, eyeing Morgan and Hotch. 

You don’t need to tell Derek twice, as he removes his jacket, revealing a black short sleeved shirt that looks a lot more comfortable. Hotch looks reluctant to do the same, but eventually gives in, loosening his tie and unbuttoning his shirt collar. You take a peak as he reveals his broad, muscled shoulders for a moment, before readjusting his shirt. Hotch notices your glance and his eyes shoot up to yours, catching you in the moment as your cheeks flush. You quickly look away. 

“Oh, she’s enjoying the view, alright,” Derek smirks and you give him a warning glance.

“Shut up. I was just surprised Hotch would give in.” 

Morgan grins and nudges Hotch with his elbow, “Look at that, Hotch. You’re surprising us all today. First you smile and now you’re taking your jacket off. What’s next, dancing a jig?” You and Spencer snort at his comment. Hotch rolls his eyes at Morgan’s teasing but can’t help a small smile from appearing on his lips. 

Spencer struggles with his vest and you give him a hand. “Here, let me help you”, you say as you scoot closer, pulling the vest over his head. The fabric feels soft, but incredibly warm in your hands. You don’t know how he managed to keep it on for this long. Reid is taken aback for a moment, but mutters a soft thanks. Morgan and Hotch watch the exchange with interest, clearly amused at the sight of you being so forward with Reid.

“Now it’s your turn, you’re the one who insisted,” Morgan states, and you can’t help but agree as you take your blazer off, giving a satisfied hum at the immediate relief.

“I’ll open up some buttons too, if you don’t mind,” you announce as your fingers start working on your blouse. You don’t give them a chance to respond, since it seems only fair. Their eyes widen at your gesture, all of them staring at the sight of your blouse slightly opening up. Morgan lets out a low whistle, “Now that’s a nice view.”

“You’re insufferable,” you scoff as you stop unbuttoning, showing just a hint of your lacy bra. Morgan’s eyes linger on the sight, clearly enjoying the view. Hotch and Reid look like they’re struggling to keep their cool. Reid is the most flustered of all, turning bright red as he focuses on his hands. Morgan glances around at the others, seeing them struggle to keep themselves composed. 

He chuckles and shakes his head, enjoying the effect you’re having on them. “You know, you’re driving all of us a little crazy here, sweetheart.” 

You let out a small huff, “Give me a break. You’re wearing shortsleeves, I’m the one wearing a blouse.” 

Hotch speaks up, his gaze lingering on your blouse. “That blouse does seem a bit warm.” 

“Thank you!” You say, glad someone is on your side. 

Hotch eyes stay focused on you though, or specifically the bit of exposed collarbone and the lace that’s hugged around the swell of your breast. Your breathing heaves when you find Spencer taking occasional peaks as well, watching with a mixture of awe and embarrassment, finding difficulty in looking away. 

“Let’s just all take our shirts off, I want it to be fair”, you quickly exclaim, done with the heavy tension that’s driving you crazy. Hotch and Morgan exchange amused glances as Spencer eyes turn big, taking in your proposal. 

“All our shirts, are you sure about that?” Derek asks, a hint of surprise in his voice. 

“Then at least you won’t eye me like that.” 

“Oh, I think I’ll eye you only more.” Derek teases, licking his lips. 

“Just take your damn shirt off.” 

Derek chuckles and raises his hands in surrender, “Alright, alright. No need to get feisty.” He says as he lifts his shirt off in a smooth motion. It’s a known fact that Derek is jacked, but seeing him in a setting like this, abs glistening with sweat and pupils still dilated from looking at you, is on a whole ‘nother level. 

You’re glad the attention is taken away from your peering eyes as Hotch follows suit, unbuttoning his shirt, revealing a clearly defined muscular chest with just a hint of hair. You start doubting your suggestion as it feels like the room is only growing hotter. You look over at Spencer, seeing whether he’ll be the next. Spencer hesitates for a moment, his eyes darting between the other’s bare chests and your unbuttoned blouse. His chest heaving with his breath, suggesting that he’s more affected than he’s letting on. 

“Come on, pretty boy. Join the party.” Derek says.

“I’ll go first,” you assure Spencer, not wanting him to suffer under peer pressure. Your hands start working on the buttons. Spencer’s eyes widened at the scene in front of him.

“See, it’s not that hard,” you reassure Spencer, folding your blouse and placing it next to you. 

“I don’t know about that. You’re making things pretty hard, baby girl.” Morgan comments, making you laugh. 

“You’re way too dirty for your own good.” 

Morgan grins. “Can you blame me? I mean, look at you. You’re looking mighty tempting right now.”

You softly smile at the compliment and focus back on Spencer. “You’ll feel a lot cooler, I promise,” you encourage. 

“I don’t know. I’m not as… toned as the others.” It hurts you to hear how he’s comparing himself to his colleagues. 

“Do you truly think I care about that?” You ask him. “It’s not a competition. I just want you to feel comfortable,” you speak genuinely. Spencer looks up at you, his eyes searching yours for any signs of mockery or deception. When he finds none, his face softens and he nods. He lifts his shirt over his head, revealing a body no less impressive than the others. 

“Not too bad, pretty boy. You’re looking pretty good without that vest on.” Derek compliments. 

“You do,” You agree, as you fold his shirt and place it on top of my blouse. Spencer gives you a sheepish smile, grateful for your help. Glad he decided to take his shirt off as he felt the cool air hit his chest, “Yeah, that does feel better.” 

You look around the room, the scene for sure one to be put down in the history books of the BAU. “I think it’s safe to say we’ve entered a new step in our colleague bonding,” you awkwardly chuckle, trying to lighten the mood but the air feels charged with an unspoken tension that’s impossible to ignore. You can feel their eyes on you, the way they linger, the weight of their gazes following your every movement. You try to ignore it, to stay professional, but your body betrays you. You shift slightly, adjusting your skirt, and that’s when you feel it - the subtle brush of Hotch’s fingers caressing your arm.

You swallow hard as you look away. The air around you is suddenly too tight. You want to curse your body as your nipples harden under his steady gaze, there being no way to blame it on the cold. Derek notices the exchange and leans in, the heat between you two palpable. 

His voice is low and husky, “You're all worked up, sweetheart. Don’t think we haven’t noticed.” 

Your pulse quickens, the sound of your heartbeat almost drowning out his words. “I’m not the only one,” you counter, voice quieter, but the challenge in it is unmistakable. You feel Spencer shift next to you, his body tense as he feels like he’s been caught staring at your chest. “Don’t be shy, genius,” Derek teases. “We’re all thinking the same thing right now.” You can’t help but smile at Spencer’s flustered look. “It’s… It’s hard not to, when you-” He cuts himself off, his voice faltering as his eyes dart away from your breasts. 

Hotch is still standing by the door, his eyes narrowing slightly as he watches the dynamic play out. “We’ve been stuck in here long enough. I think it’s safe to say we all want and feel the same thing.” The air thickens with desire as he dares to say the thought that’s been occupying everyone’s mind. You glance at the others, seeing how Spencer is adjusting himself in his pants and the way Derek is watching you, his gaze so intense it almost feels like he’s touching you. 

“Guess it’s only fair if we all just… give in to it,” you murmur, your eyes flicking between them. The suggestion is there, unspoken but understood. 

From there on everything feels like a blur. You hear Hotch growl behind you as he wraps his bicep around your neck, pulling you in as his lips crash against yours. You whimper against his mouth, which gives him the opportunity to let his tongue slide in. You welcome his tongue with yours as your hand moves to squeeze the arm around your neck, making full use of the circumstances to feel up on his muscles. 

“You’re always driving me crazy when wearing this skirt,” Hotch groans in your ear as his teeth pull on your earlobe. You can find no other way to respond than let out a high pitched sound of enjoyment as his free hand kneads your ass through your pencil skirt. Spencer watches the scene unfold in front of him. How his boss roughly grabs and kisses you, manhandling you. 

 “I- I don’t know about this…” Spencer stammers. 

Morgan turns to him, breaking the intense gaze he had on you and Hotch. “Don’t worry Reid, she’s enjoying it.” 

“Are you sure?” Spencer asks, uncertainty in his voice as Hotch is pulling on your hair, giving him access to plant kisses and bites on your neck. 

Morgan grins, “Let me show you how sure I am,” he says as he steps towards you and Hotch. He rolls your skirt up to your stomach and lets his fingers slide over your panties, cursing when it easily slips between your folds, creating a wet sound. You moan at the friction, not in the state to feel embarrassed by how wet you are. 

“See Reid, she loves it,” Derek points out, licking his lips as he pulls your damp panties to the side. Spencer lets out a groan as Derek reveals your glistening pussy, his hand subconsciously squeezing the bulge in his pants for any form of release.

“Let me see,” Hotch insists, removing his lips from your neck. Derek slides a finger through your folds and proudly displays the stickiness to Hotch. 

“You’re such a little slut, aren’t you?,” Hotch whispers, his nose pressed against the side of your face. “Just been begging to get in a situation like this so we could all fuck you the way you deserve.” You whimper at his dirty words and hot breath on your skin. Your legs feel like jelly as he grinds himself against your ass. Derek continues to apply pressure with his hand as he lets his fingers rub up and down your lips and clit. 

Spencer’s eyes are burning holes in your chest. He just can’t understand how no one has touched your lovely tits, while they’ve been teasing him the entire time. 

“You can come here Spence,” you purr, hypnotizing him to walk towards you. He swallows as he’s close enough to touch you, close enough to hear all the little sounds you’re making as you’re being touched all over. 

“Can I-?” You don’t let Spencer finish his question as you quickly nod, throwing your head back as his finger grazes over your nipple, sending a direct spark of pleasure to your clit. 

“You’re beautiful,” he whispers mostly to himself in awe as he cups your breast, the shape fitting perfectly in his large hand. 

“Thank you,” you whisper back. It’s ironic how his sweet compliment is the thing that's making you shy.

Derek slips a finger inside of you with ease, and you bite your lip to hold back your mewls. “Don’t do that. I like the way you sound.” Spencer encourages, resulting in another moan from you, loving the effect his words have on you. 

Hotch unclasps your bra from behind and Spencer helps him by pulling your straps down, letting your breasts fall free. Hotch grabs your left breast, kneading it with his strong, calloused hands as he rolls your nipple in between his fingers. Spencer uses the momentary distraction to bend down and experimentally licks your nipple, humming at the sensation. He gives a couple more licks to your breast as he pulls your nipple in between his lips, sucking on it as he flicks his tongue against the sensitive bud. 

You feel overwhelmed by the way all of your erogenous zones are stimulated at once; Hotch licking and biting on your neck and ear, while massaging your breast and grinding his hardness against your ass. Spencer’s swollen lips and wet tongue tracing over your nipple as Derek caresses your thighs as he adds a second finger into your pussy. You realize that this is what pleasure is supposed to be like. The zones on your body are all connected and you haven’t experienced true bliss until those spots get triggered at the same time. 

“Morgan, is she ready?” Hotch asks, breathing heavily. 

“More than ready, sir,” Derek grins as he takes a step back. He lets his fingers slide out of you, making you whimper at the loss of contact, but then Hotch turns you around so that your chest is pressed up against the elevator doors where he was standing. 

“I need you for myself,” he groans. Derek tosses a condom from his jeans and Hotch catches it, ripping the package with his teeth while pulling his trousers down to his knees, not wanting to let a single moment go to waste. Your hands are pressed against the wall as he slowly enters you. 

“Oh my god… I feel so full,” you whine and you swear you could feel him grin as you register that he’s not even fully inside of you. You let out a long breath as you feel his balls make contact with your ass. 

“You’re doing okay there, princess?” Derek chuckles and you nod. Hotch slowly moves his length out of you as he slams his hips back in with a groan. You gasp as you wrap your hand around the back of his head, keeping yourself steady as he continues thrusting into you. His growls feel hot against your neck. His sweaty chest pressed up against your back, leaving you completely in his grasp.

“You feel that angel? How your pussy swallows my cock?” You let out a cry as you nod your head in agreement. 

“I don’t understand Y/N. You’re a big girl, use your words.” 

“Oh god…’’ Your head spins as he pounds into you. “I’m not going to tell you again Y/N, use your words.” He orders. 

“Yes!’’ you cry out. ‘’God yes Aaron, it feels so good. I can feel you so deep inside of me.” 

“Say my name again.” He moans as his hand trails down your stomach until it reaches your swollen bud. “Aaron, please… I’m so, so close.” He gives some quick taps to your clit, making you squirm in pleasure as your knees give out. His strong hands grip you by the waist and he hoists you back up on his dick. “I’m almost there honey, you can keep it up, be good for me.” 

You let out a string of whines as he uses the palm of his hand to swiftly move against your folds, indirectly bringing pleasure to your clit. You can’t take it any more, pressing your nails into his arms as you crouch down in front of him, shaking as your release hits you. Hotch groans loudly as his dick slips out of your pussy. His dick twitches as he takes off the condom, painting your back with hot spurts of cum.

You have your eyes closed, trying to catch your breath as you’re still riding down your orgasm. You hum as you feel the soft material of Spencer’s sweater vest against your back, cleaning you up. 

“You okay?” Spencer asks, kneeled in front of you. You nod your head and softly smile at his tenderness. 

“Yeah. I feel really, really good.” You answer, making Spencer return your smile. With him in front of you, you notice the visible outline of his bulge pressed against his thigh and reach out to touch it. Your fingers lightly brush over his length, causing him to shudder. 

“Do you want me to take care of you?” You ask sensually, looking in his eyes. 

“Not really,” he responds, taking you by surprise. He sees your expression and quickly corrects himself. “It’s not like I don’t want you to! I’d- I’d love you to do…”, he’s not actually sure what you planned on doing to him. “Whatever you would do. I just-,” his voice softens, meeting your gaze. “I really need to know what you taste like.” 

Your cheeks warm, feeling your arousal grow. “Okay,” you exhale. Spencer extends his hand, helping you up. You find your blazer and bundle it up for Spencer to lay his head on. You’re amazed at how willing he is to get down on the floor, ready to eat you out in a very nontraditional and arguable unsanitized way. You hover over his face as you get down on your knees, letting out a hum as his breath tingles your pussy. Spencer kneads your calves and runs his hands up the back of your thighs. He tilts his head up, placing a wet kiss on your inner thigh.

“Feels good,” you mumble. Spencer responds with a hum against your skin, the vibration causing you to moan. He grabs your thighs, slowly pulling them further apart. “I can’t wait to taste you,” he admits, sticking out his tongue and licking a stripe up your folds. You moan, arching your back. Through hooded eyes you spot the figure of Hotch. He’s sitting against the wall in front of you, lazily stroking his half hard length as he stares at you. 

Just when you were about to question where Morgan was, you catch him in your periphery. He holds your gaze as he approaches, coming to a stop right in front of you. His belt buckle hangs open, but it doesn’t look like he’s touched himself. 

“If you don’t mind, I’d really like to take up on that offer genius here denied.” You grin at him, hands reaching out to his belt. Spencer is keeping himself busy, licking and sucking up your juices. You pull Derek’s pants down, gasping as his dick springs free, slapping against his happy trail. You groan in delight as you wrap your hand around his shaft. He tilts his head back at the contact. “Fuck baby, your hands feel so warm and soft.” You lean forward and let some of your spit dribble down on his dick, making him hiss. You move your thumb in circles over his tip, mixing your saliva with his precum. When it feels like it’s wet enough, you move your hand up and down his length in a steady motion.

His tip grows red and you cannot resist licking your lips before putting your mouth on him. He feels heavy in your mouth as you take him in deeper, stimulating him with your tongue as you suck. His hands tangle in your hair, holding you as he moves in sync with your movements. 

Spencer moves a hand up the curve of your ass while he uses the other to unbuckle his belt. He slides his hand in his pants, rubbing himself over his boxers as he relishes in your taste. His lips nibble on your labia as his nose tickles against your clit. 

“Don’t get distracted, baby girl,” Derek states, softly pushing your head back down. You swallow around him and try to up your pace. Derek takes your breast in his hand, massaging it. As your nipples harden he takes one in between his fingers, pulling on it. You gasp at the sensation, making his dick slide deeper down your throat. 

“Fuck! Right there baby, that feels so good,” he pants. You blink away tears, continuing the steady movement of your head and swirls of your tongue. 

Spencer’s dick starts feeling too hot in his boxers and he pulls it out, so that it lays against his stomach. Your pussy is absolutely dripping because of the swipes of Spencer’s tongue and the taste of Derek in your mouth. Spencer can’t keep up with licking you clean, your wetness dripping down his chin. He reaches out to grab his length, the skin to skin contact overstimulating him. 

You notice Spencer getting restless underneath you. Derek’s dick pops out of your mouth. “Are you okay, Spence?” You ask. He hums against your clit in response, you let out a high pitched moan and instinctively bend your knees. “Sorry,” you apologize as you want to tilt your hips back up, but Spencer pulls you back down by your thighs, making you sit on his face.

“Oh god…” You moan as he starts devouring you. He keeps a hand firm on your ass as he starts jerking himself off to the beautiful sounds that you’re making. You lazily tug on Derek’s cock, too distracted by Spencer’s tongue. 

“Oh Spencer, I’m going to cum,” you whimper, mouth open and brows furrowed in pleasure. You start grinding yourself on his tongue, seeking your release. You find the perfect spot and Spencer presses the tip of his tongue against your clit, as you fall undone. Spencer laps up your juices and squeezes the load out of his dick as it splatters on his belly. You lift your hips to give Spencer some space. He moves away, joining you on his knees as he sits behind you, pressing featherlight kisses to your back. 

“I’m not gonna last that much longer,” Derek announces, who’s been stroking himself to your orgasm. “Come here, then,” you invite as you take him back in your mouth. Placing a hand on his thigh for support, you use all of the energy that is left in you to suck him off. Your free hand reaches out to play with his balls, which seems to be the trigger for him.

“Fuck, Y/N, baby, I’m going to cum!” He groans deeply as he fills your mouth. You quickly swallow his load, eyes watering as he pulls you in by your head, needing your lips on him as he rides out the aftershocks. 

“Fuck… You’re amazing, sweetheart.” He sighs, letting go of your hair so that you can catch your breath. 

-

“Who the hell is in there?” 

The voice outside is sharp and gruff. Everyone’s heads whip around, startled. Hotch swiftly buckles his belt as he strides towards the elevator doors.

“This is SSA Aaron Hotchner of the BAU. I’m stuck here with three of my agents.” 

The voice responds quickly, dripping with disbelief. "Why didn’t you morons use the emergency button?"

Your colleagues look at each other, then shift their gaze to you, all with accusing looks plastered on their faces.

"Hey, don’t look at me! I’m the first one that pressed the red button!" You say in defense. 

The voice outside huffs in frustration. "Red? It's a black button."

You blink in surprise, your gaze snapping to the panel. You crawl up to get a better look, and sure enough, there's a black button, boldly labeled ‘EMERGENCY.’

"What in the world?" you mutter under your breath. "Then what the hell is the red button for?!"

The voice outside laughs sarcastically. "How the hell am I supposed to know? I’ve been working here for six months. Don’t blame me because you can’t read." He pauses, clearly shaking his head. "FBI agents, my ass."

You blink in disbelief. You share an incredulous glance with Derek, then burst out laughing, your frustration giving way to amusement. "Seriously?" you mutter, shaking your head. 

Derek notices how Spencer’s been unusually quiet. “Speak up, kid,” he urged. 

“I’ve known what the buttons do the entire time,” he says, voice casual.

You and Hotch both turn to look at him, eyes wide. “What?!” You both exclaim at the same time. 

Spencer shrugs, a playful glint in his eyes. “I told you about those movies where people overcome their differences to try to escape. I wanted to see how we would solve it.”

Derek’s mouth drops open. “You’ve been sitting here the whole time knowing exactly what to do and didn’t say anything?!” 

Spencer smiles, looking almost proud of himself. “It’s a team-building exercise,” he says matter-of-factly. “Don’t tell me that you didn’t enjoy it.”

You shake your head, laughing in disbelief. “You’re unbelievable, Reid.”

As if on cue, the elevator jolts, and the soft ding of the doors opening fills the space.

[caotictimmy]

if you're doing mouthwashing can i have daisuke x reader hcs plz... just pretend the tulpar never crashed i want him to be happy hjdkjkdsjg

OMG ANON…you get me. Daisuke has me in a CHOKEHOLD. Ok so here are how the headcanons are gonna go. Pre dating/confession. Dating and NSFW. I had another anon ask me to do NSFW head canons with daisuke. So why not kill two birds with one stone. The regular head canon r gonna be Gn. But the NSFW are gonna have some AFAB stuff. Still can kinda be read as Gn.

Crushing - Confession

- I believe Daisuke crushing on you would be a very, you fell first, but he fell harder kinda thing.

- I think that because Daisuke can be well.. a bit dense (still love him though). That he’s not really gonna pick up on any hints or flirting. So you kinda of have to wait till he realizes he likes you.

- When he does realize he likes you is probably when you were sticking up for him against Swansea(I love you Swansea but you still were mean to Daisuke🙁).

- It’s gonna be easy to tell when he likes you. This man is gonna be so obvious😭🙏

- We all know he’s eager to please right? He’s doing this with you 2 times more. Always asking if you needed anything, he’d be right on it.

-Little things to. I’m talking some laying his shirt over a puddle for you to step on. I feel like he tries to woe you with these gestures.(and it works)

- Daisuke loves listening to your voice. No matter how your voice sounds. He’ll go out of his ways to find you to ramble on about something. He thinks you look and sound cute rambling. o(^w^)o

- Also I think he just likes looking at you. There have been MANY times where Swansea has smacked Daisuke in the back of the head, cause he got sidetrack staring at you with this very lovesick grin. Staring like you personally hung the stars for him.

- Daisuke would be a bit too nervous to think of confessing first. So Swansea would definitely be pushing him to confess. He’s tired of seeing you two ogling at each other and doing nothing about it😒.

- Our sly little man some how convinced Curly to make a cake for him to give you. (I swear on my life curly is a die hard romantic but I’m saving that for when I do headcanons on him later)

- I feel like Daisuke would sneak in your room. Waiting for you to enter. When you do he lifts up the cake in his hands, “ Imadeyouthiscakewillyoudateme” He rambled out. Being scared you would say no.

- But when you say yes. I’m not kidding he shouted “WHOO HOO!!!”. It was very funny. Daisuke would quickly put the cake down and rush to hug you,

Dating

- I feel like the affection he likes to receive is words of affection and physical contact. And for what he usually gives. Acts of service and physical affection. Let me explain

-(Daisuke receiving) It’s a bit obvious that Daisuke probably hasn’t gotten a lot of praise in his life. So I believe that he absolutely melts when you give him these encouraging words. It can range from a lot. From a small, “good job” to a “I love you so much, no matter what.”. It makes him so happy like you don’t even understand.

-(Daisuke receiving) Idk it’s just a an itch in my brain telling me. I think he likes all kinds of physical affection. From holding his pinky, to wrapping you arms and legs around him cuddling. If it insures some sort of touching he’s down. I also think he like resting his head on either your thighs, or chest. Resting his eyes. PLEASE scratch his head or tangle your fingers through his hair. He loves it so much. Like it calms him down so much.

-(Daisuke giving) You can’t tell me this man isn’t at least a bit clingy. Not in a “if you talk to someone else I’ll kill them” type of way but a “ you make me feel safe and secure” kind of way. Does that make sense? Anyways, he loves flopping onto you when he sees you laying down. Like I’m talking full rag doll flop. I fully believe he brought a stuff animal on the ship. So he fully treats you like a stuff animal. Quick random switch. I don’t think he likes being the small spoon. Only because I feel like he needs to sleep holding something. I don’t think he would mind being big spoon. But overall he prefers you two facing each other.

-(Daisuke giving) We all know he has a knack for trying to be as helpful as he can. We can see that when he tried to fix the vent! To trying to crawl up it to save Anya… guys I can’t do this anymore. ANYWAYS. This man does not want you to lift a FINGER. He is so head over heels inlove with you. He’ll do anything for you. He’ll ask him to bring you a star and he’d ask which one. LIKE HE LOVES YOU SM AND JUST WANTS TO SEE YOU HAPPY.

- He loves kissing. Receiving and giving. From a simple peck, to kissing your face all over. He just loves it so much. He finds it so romantic. Listen hear me out. Non sexual neck kissing. He could be waking up before you(highly unlikely). Softly kissing your neck to wake you up. Just soft and sweet.

- Late night talks are a must with him. It could be about anything really. From what plot twist you guys thought would happen on the shitty soap opera you guys were watching. What ifs, what your guys future would look like, what you guys would be if you were animals. The topics you guys talk about are far and wide. But he enjoys the comfort of being by you.

- You can’t tell me this man isn’t a big back. Daisuke definitely brought a bunch of snacks with him. So he will happily share with you. He is a very giving person. But also expect to get your food stolen sometimes.. make sure you get extra food in your plate to give him the rest. He would appreciate it a lot!!!!!:3

- He also really loves spending anytime he can with you. Especially if it involves games. Let me tell you. YOU DO NOT WANNA PLAY DRESS TO IMPRESS WITH THIS MAN. He would cook you so hard in the game it’s not even funny. He’s literally in the top 10 players in dress to impress.

NSFW - DO NOT READ IF YOUR A MINOR OR UNCOMFORTABLE WITH NSFW (AFAB)

- Praise kink. YOU GUYS CANT TELL ME I’M WRONG. You guys could water board me. Scream at me that I’m wrong. Every time you praise him when y’all are getting freaky. Busting. Like it gets him going SO HARD (pun intended) Like omg… Especially if you praise his efforts/ how good he’s doing. Pray that you’ll be able to walk after.

- This man is LOUD…… grunting, whimpering, moaning, panting. Any noise you can think of hes made it. Like he doesn’t even think of suppressing his noises. He also doesn’t want you to either! He loves hearing you. He thinks the louder you are = the better he’s doing. So please don’t suppress your noises he’ll get so sad:(. But back to the topic. This man needs something to muffle him. Wether that be kissing you, or lightly nibbling your neck. When he starts to get to loud you need to find a way to shut him up.

-Speaking of loud Swansea has definitely caught you guys once’s. Y’all were a bit to loud and he was wonder what was going on and… Let’s just say he wasn’t able to look at you guys for a bit. But after he gave Daisuke a fist bump. Man to man🗣️🗣️🗣️

- Daisuke is willing to try almost everything. I full heartedly believe this man is a virgin. The furthest he’s ever gone is making out. So he’s eager to learn! He was a bit nervous your guys first time. But after a bit that nervousness dissolved into eagerness! I don’t think he’d be into hurting you badly. And I don’t think he likes pain that much either. But I think he would like his hair being pulled. Or maybe you lightly scratching his back.

- I think he would be open to having sex not just in your rooms. Either in random room barely used. Or a couple of times on the couch when everyone was in their sleeping quarters. Thankfully you guys weren’t caught!!! But Curly was wondering what that clear sticky substances was on the couch…

-(AFAB) Munch no question asked. LISTEN WHEN I SAW HE WANTED AN EXTRA PACK OF SWEETENER I IMMEDIATELY THOUGHT BIG BACK MUNCH BEHAVIOR. Also because this man loves to please. DO YALL SEE ME VISION. This man who’ll slurp it up like no tomorrow. His favorite made is your pleasure is his pleasure. But omg like he gets so into eating you out it’s not even funny… You have to pry his face away from your core. And he looks so hot. His hair a mess. His eyes dazed but still has that love in them. And your juice all over his face like…

- He doesn’t have a favorite position. He likes way too many. And when you asked him what position he liked the most, he only responded with, “how can I pick a favorite when there all so good, and what about the ones we haven’t tried yet!” Safe to say you guys went to go try some more positions 😜

- I know I’ve been doing really freaky headcanons but I think Daisuke loves soft sex and morning sexy to. Maybe the morning after a bad day HES still feeling bad. You both are still groggy but you have time before you have to get up. Hell sink himself into. Before thrusting as his arms are wrapped around your waist. His hot breath on your neck, as he trailed kisses all along it. Just because he can be a freak doesn’t mean he can’t be really soft either.

- Daisuke loves cock warming. Try. Try to prove me wrong. He loves cuddling. He loves being as close to you as possible. What’s better than combining the two! But after a bit he does get a bit impatient and starts to subtly thrust. He really is trying to not to be you feel to good!

Authors note: SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG. I STARTED THIS WHEN I GOT HOME AND FELL ASLEEP MID WAY THROUGH WRITING THIS. Again sorry for request being slow I’m trying my best😭🙏

[arts-and-drafts]

I decided to start compiling speech patterns and such for the Hermits I watch the most, because being a fic writer is hard sometimes 😭 then I thought “why not share it here?”

so here’s my very rough analysis of my most viewed Hermits, this is just what I’ve managed to gather so please don’t call me out for what I’m missing

-

Scar

Rarely stutters in normal speech. Maybe pauses if he’s started a sentence and doesn’t know where it’s going, but he doesn’t tend to trail off unless something interrupts his train of thought

Stutters a LOT when he’s startled. Also makes ‘hoo!’ noises repeatedly before he finds his words

Lays on the charm THICK when he’s trying to convince someone over literally anything; compliments their looks, their handiwork, and then pitches his proposition in smooth segue. Not one to entertain haggling though (however he DOES do a ‘look if you’ll pay full price I’ll throw in xyz’ thing). King of upselling even the most mundane things.

His tone is cheerful most of the time, no matter what he’s saying. He’ll actually often say very disturbing things with a light voice (ex. when discussing how to retaliate ie “what should we do about him?” “we could kill him! :)”)

Builds and locations somehow are always capitalized in his voice?? Like he says them differently. I can’t really explain it (when he talks about Aqua Town or Scarland or The Big Dig)

Literally has an evil laugh when he thinks of a way to prank someone or mess with people

Hums in thought quite often, and uses “huh!” quite often when confused or finding out something new (Mostly with redstone)

His farewell is almost always “Byeeee, have a great time!” even if the conversation he left was not a pleasant one. I’m almost certain he does this in tense situations just to get under other people’s skin and really push how unbothered he is

Doesn’t tend to insult people, the farthest he’ll take it is backhanded compliments

That said he is not afraid to outright threaten (“I will murder them.”)

References media a lot, both for concepts for builds and in speech (ie his greeting “Well hello there!” is from Star Wars)

Number one exclamation is “Sweet Baby Jellie!”

(More under the cut!)

Grian

Cold opens, both in videos and conversations (rarely says “hello, how are you, etc” when encountering someone, but he does say farewells/‘thank you’s)

Likes to sneak up on people and scare them if he realizes they haven’t noticed him yet, usually does so by getting real close and then yelling (“HEY!”/“HI!”/“WHAT’S THAT?”)

Uses the name of whoever he’s talking to pretty often while speaking to them (“Well, Mumbo, you never know”/“So, Scar, as you can see here-“), same goes for often addressing his audience (“you all”/“you lot”/“you guys”)

Usually pretty focused (when he wants to be) but oftentimes takes a minute to laugh at things he notices in the natural environment (An accidental face in a build, a mob in a strange place, etc)

Takes the lead in a conversation if nobody is the clear leader, but generally only speaks when spoken to if someone else has risen to that spot

Clarifies instructions after something is explained, both to his viewers and to anyone he’s grouped up with (most often seen in the Life Series)

Uses “Pardon?!”/“Beg your pardon?!” most often when surprised or startled (he’s very British), also sometimes uses “Sorry??”

Things are way more funny to him when he’s tired

Deadpans a lot in conversation ie “why not do xyz?” “Well because we’ll horrifically die 😑“

This man is allergic to committing to the bit unless he’s the one that initiated it

Not one to sugarcoat (“how is it?” “well to be honest it’s miserable”)

Number one exclamation is “WHAT?!” (though he often uses “oh my GOODNESS” quite a bit)

Mumbo

The start of nearly every episode is almost a pitch, does the same when bringing up an idea to others (“I have this idea”/“I was thinking”/“I noticed” etc)

Often laughs a little at himself when he speaks

Also often brings up how inexperienced/unqualified he thinks he is with literally any task he’s doing

Gets very distracted with the smallest things

Uses similes a lot when trying to describe a concept (“I’m thinking a this-type thing”/“Something like a [xyz]”/“Imagine like a [thing]”)

His voice gets higher when he’s startled or panicking

A very vocal thinker, which makes sense because he’s a MC Youtuber, but he also just. Seems to think out loud regardless

Comments a lot on the feel of things (“Oh this feels menacing”/“This looks like it’d mess you up”/“This makes it feel very intimidating”), often with building

Extremely modest. However will celebrate when he does something right in redstone/building (“YES! Oh my days, that took forever”)

Once and a while will have a rare banter moment with people he’s comfortable with (ie teasing and making fun)

Related to above, he gets very giggly when he’s hanging out with people he’s familiar with (Grian and Scar most often, but also Iskall)

Number one exclamation is “What on earth?!”

Joel

Greets people most often with “How you doing [name]?”/“How are ya [name]?”

He’s very northern. He often leaves out words in his sentences bc that’s just the way his dialect is (“What you doin’?” vs “What are you doing?”)

Says his th’s like f’s (“somefing”/“nofing”/“finking”) ((Stress also does this))

His jokes/teasing are very deadpan (“I made you this extra thing, because you’re trash at this”)

Actually gives gifts of resources very often, and always leaves it with a little note and signs his name

His voice gets higher pitched when he’s defensive/being extremely cheeky but other than that his tone rarely changes

This man. Flirts so much. If any other person initiates even the slightest of flirty banter he takes that and dials it to eleven I cannot believe this is a straight married man sometimes

Joel commits to the bit 100% of the time (slightly related to above), unless of course it’s jokes about his height

Makes a point to compliment himself if he gets the chance (words most often used are “handsome” “strong” and “humble”, as well as comments about his muscles and physique)

Insults his enemies diminutively (“look at you down there, tiny idiot”/“You’re wrong and also weak”) ((seen most often in Empires SMP)

His most often used insult is “idiot”

When he’s flustered/frustrated he uses “bloody” a lot (ie “bloody heck” or “this bloody thing” (loves to toe the PG line), also uses “blooming” (“bloomin’ heck”)

Most often used exclamation is also “WHAT?!”

Bdubs

Opens videos very jovially, talks almost like a radio host

Breaks down his builds down to the block, spends a lot of time discussing his block pallet choices and giving tips while he builds

Uses the affirmation “sure enough” a lot, and often addresses himself as “Ol’ Bdubs”

Talks affectionately about other hermits often (“[name], the absolute sweetheart, left me some materials”, “[name], you angel!”)

Adding to above, “angel” or “sweet angel” seems to be his most often used affectionate terms

Switches on a dime, though, if he gets offended (which of course causes others to poke fun at him even more)

Calls mobs “stupid” a lot when they don’t do what he wants (but takes it back if he says it to one of his horses ex. “Come here, stupid—wonderful, I mean, beautiful”)

THIS MAN IS THE #1 HORSE ENJOYER. He gets a horse first thing every season and rides it everywhere, and they’re always a focal point of his theme or builds in some regard

Pauses whatever he’s doing to sleep as soon as it’s possible, and gets very antsy if he can’t do it for some reason (“One moment, time to shreep!”)

Related to above, EVERYONE messes with him if he’s trying to sleep in their presence ie breaking his bed over and over, and he gets increasingly more frustrated when it happens

Rarely is soft spoken or quiet, he projects his voice and uses a lot of emphasis in his tone

Either straight up screams (and peaks the mic 😭) if he’s startled or scared, or yells “oh my GOODNESS!!”

Number one exclamation is “HEY!”

[amirasainz]

Hi queen. Can you please write for little alonso one, where she is still pretty young and mostly hanging out with the spanish speaking drivers (please include Franco♥️) and one of the others accidentally uses a english cuss word in front of her and she repeats it. Thank youuuuu.

Enjoy reading and send some requests!!!

-xoxo babygirl 💚

La Niña del Paddock

The Formula 1 paddock was always alive with energy, the hum of engines, and the chatter of mechanics filling the air. Today, however, it had an extra spark of excitement. Two-year-old Yn Alonso was in attendance, her tiny form dressed in a summer outfit and her hair in two braids.

Clinging to her father’s hand, Yn looked around the bustling paddock with wide eyes. She was shy, clutching tightly to Fernando's leg every time someone tried to say hello. Not that most of them could converse with her—she only spoke Spanish, and her vocabulary was still that of a toddler.

"Papá, quiero un jugo," she murmured, tugging at his hand. ("Papa, I want juice.")

Fernando crouched to her level, brushing her cheek with his thumb. "Después, mi amor. Ahora papá tiene que trabajar, ¿vale? Carlos te cuidará por un rato." ("Later, my love. Right now, papá has to work, okay? Carlos will look after you for a while.")

Yn pouted but nodded solemnly, her grip loosening as Carlos approached with a big grin. "¡Hola, princesa! ¿Lista para pasar un buen rato con el mejor babysitter del mundo?" ("Hello, princess! Ready to spend some time with the best babysitter in the world?")

Yn tilted her head, studying Carlos. “¿Eres mejor que Papá?” ("Are you better than Papa?")

Carlos laughed, scooping her up. "Por supuesto que no, pero soy el segundo mejor." ("Of course not, but I’m the second best.")

---

Carlos wasn’t alone in his efforts. Franco and Sergio often joined in, creating a small team of Spanish-speaking drivers who adored Yn. Today, as Carlos carried Yn through the paddock, they encountered Checo, who immediately lit up.

"¡Ahí está mi amiga pequeña! ¿Cómo estás, Yn?" ("There’s my little friend! How are you, Yn?")

"Quiero jugo," Yn replied seriously, causing both men to laugh. ("I want juice.")

“Ya veo que sabes lo que quieres,” Checo teased, ruffling her hair. "Ven, vamos a buscar uno." ("I see you know what you want. Come, let’s go find one.")

As they headed to the hospitality area, they ran into Charles, who, while not fluent in Spanish, had picked up a few phrases. He knelt to Yn’s level. "Hola, Yn. ¿Cómo… cómo estás?"

Yn hid her face in Carlos’s shoulder, making Charles frown.

"She is shy," Carlos explained with a shrug. "But you can try."

Charles smiled softly. "¿Quieres… jugo? ¿O… un helado?" ("Do you want… juice? Or… ice cream?")

At the mention of ice cream, Yn peeked out, nodding eagerly. "Helado."

“That was easy!" Charles laughed, standing up and joining the group as they searched for treats.

---

Other drivers began to notice how much time Yn spent with the Spanish-speaking contingent, sparking a mix of amusement and envy.

"Why does she never come to us?" Lando complained to Max, watching as Yn giggled in Franco’s arms.

"Maybe because she doesn’t understand you," Max replied with a smirk.

"But she’s so cute! Look at her little cheeks!” Lando exclaimed. “I want a turn."

“Good luck with that,” Max muttered, though he was secretly curious too.

---

Eventually, Yn’s circle expanded, and she found herself surrounded by other drivers who, despite the language barrier, adored her. George was attempting to teach her a clapping game, while Lewis showed her pictures of his dog Roscoe. Everything was going smoothly until Max stupped his toe and muttered a curse under his breath.

"Fuck," he said, slapping his thigh.

Yn, ever the sponge, tilted her head. "Fuck."

Silence fell over the group. George gasped, and Lewis froze mid-sentence.

"Max," Lando hissed. "What did you just do?"

“It wasn’t my fault!” Max said, panicking. “She’s too quick!”

"Fuck," Yn repeated, smiling as if she’d learned a new toy.

“Nonononono,” Charles said, rushing over. "Yn, don't say that. Es malo. Muy malo." (" It’s bad. Very bad.")

"¿Por qué?" Yn asked innocently, looking up at him. ("Why?")

Checo appeared just in time, his eyes wide as he realized what was happening. "What happened?"

“She heard Max swear,” George explained, flailing his arms.

Checo groaned. "¡Ay no! If Fernando finds out, we're dead."

---

Despite their frantic efforts to distract her with other words, Yn’s new phrase stuck. When Fernando finally returned from his duties, Yn ran to him, arms outstretched.

"¡Papá!"

"¡Mi niña! ¿Te portaste bien?" Fernando asked, lifting her into his arms. ("My girl! Were you well-behaved?")

Yn beamed at him, her tiny voice ringing out. "Fuck!"

Fernando froze. The drivers around them collectively held their breath, some looking ready to bolt.

Then Fernando threw his head back and laughed, a hearty sound that echoed through the paddock. "¡Eres toda una Alonso, mi amor!" ("You’re a true Alonso, my love!")

Checo wiped imaginary sweat from his brow. "We're saved…"

Fernando looked at the guilty group, smirking. "But if it happens again, you all will be to blame."

Yn, unaware of the chaos she had caused, snuggled into her father’s chest, content as ever. And the paddock? They had learned their lesson: don’t teach a toddler new words unless you’re ready to face the consequences.