#can someone ask god to make me have a seizure in front of a doctor thst they cant deny and ignore if this is true

[jonesypiercedme]

I apologize if I cannot update or donate anything soon - I am going to try !!!!!!!!!!

Personal Update: I have no doctors or psychiatrists who believe me, but based on my medical history and current lucidity, I think I may be having had absence seizures my whole life and cannabis is the only thing helping to balance out the dissociative seizures because everyone already diagnosed me with DID/psychosis and assumes I am lying if I don't take medications that exacerbate physical symptoms and those seizure symptoms, and now Im going to be put on more as none of them believe me capable of suddenly having emotions and want me to prove I'm mentally okay by physically driving there and acting normal when terrified which .... i cant .... and I start doing seizure symptoms.

Writing out the prayers I made to God/Greek Gods throughout my life as strange written works has been helping. But I can't even share those because theyre weird half poetry

[lifblogs]

So I made a mistake with scheduling earlier and my mom said it was CRUEL. Yeah, uh huh, a sick person going through an intense health treatment that makes them more sick for awhile is CRUEL for fucking forgetting an appointment day/time.

She also kept telling me she treats me like a child because adulting makes me suicidal.

I… I almost tried very hard not to be here 12 hours ago. Archer talked to me, and after Loki yelled at my mom for making me cry he came and cuddled with me.

I thought I didn’t deserve anything. I didn’t deserve my belongings, I didn’t deserve my room, I didn’t deserve food, I didn’t deserve to breathe, and I certainly didn’t deserve my cat. After a few minutes cuddling with Loki my thoughts began to change, and I started planning what I could do with Loki later. (Though I definitely think she’ll use me reacting to abuse badly [oh wow, who wouldn’t?] as an excuse to not take Loki to the vet. She doesn’t even believe he’s sick, even when he has post-ictal symptoms right fucking in front of her.)

The thoughts have gone… back and forth. A lot. But now I just realize how ridiculous it is that I am 25 and she treats me like a child because I’m mentally ill. I also tried telling her she treated me like a child at a recent doctor’s appointment, and she denied the entire thing.

She literally started off some of her bs yesterday with, “I’m not being cruel, but this is why I treat you like a child,” after I said I know HOW to adult, but I literally want to die every time I do. So. Fucked. Up.

She also said she won’t help me with appointments AT ALL if she can’t treat me like a child. She needs to fucking stop with these ableist ultimatums and her fucking black and white thinking. She also asked why I can’t just do the appointments on my own. I don’t know, Beth, maybe it’s the fucking seizure disorder. Maybe there are a ton of potential triggers I’d come across in an uber. Maybe I can’t fucking speak for myself when I’m that sick. Maybe I will feel dizzy and need a god damn wheelchair that I can’t fucking push because my wrist is in a splint. Maybe I have an emergency med that someone ELSE has to administer because I wouldn’t fucking be able to.

I also believe she’ll use all this as a reason not to get me a wheelchair. She’s already being a bitch about that one. She kept saying she’d get one from her friend, and when I tried to be dead serious about it she said it wouldn’t fit in the car or the apartment. Thanks for getting my fucking hopes up that I could get help. And oh no, I’m apparently a bitch for wanting to kill myself for being abused because I’m sick, so I don’t deserve any help whatsoever and it’d be better if I just suffer. Thanks, Mom. /s 🖕

I just cannot believe she also said she would continue to abuse me. I’m sorry, but how does that help anyone? Guess it certainly helps herself. Well, she can go fuck herself.

[losermothman]

Steve + Eddie (mainly Steve) headcanons!!!

Eddie is the type of autistic to get really frustrated when overstimulated + to often snap at ppl. he feels guilty at about it afterwards.

Steve is the type of autistic to just get up + leave when overstimulated. He usually makes a decent enough excuse about needing to go to the bathroom or some shit and then bolts.

Steve has RSD + is v insecure about his place in the party + how his intelligence is precieved. When a party member makes an off-handed remark about him being dumb, it actually really, really affects him but he usually doesn’t say anything about it.

Eddie understands why steve asks so many questions + why he often needs clarification on simple things. Most of the party doesn’t understand this, however, and often makes fun of steve for it. Eddie is v different from the rest of the party and always answers Steve’s questions w/o mocking him. Eddie (excluding robin) is the only person that doesn’t make Steve feel like an idiot.

Steve is the type of person to have the self perception to KNOW he’s autistic and has adhd and is bisexual, but not actually know what it is. He just thinks it’s some quirky Steve-thing. “Yeah, I have a harder time being social with people and had really bad grades bc school didn’t make sense to me, but that’s because I’m stupid, isn’t it?” No, Steve, it isn’t because you’re stupid. “I thought we all thought about dating men?” No, steve, straight men don’t want to date men.

Steve’s parents never really gave enough shit about him to try to diagnose anything about him. They thought it was a waste of their time, so he never actually got any accommodations for his neurodivergencies/learning disabilities.

The collective of eddie, robin and Dustin give him actual names for his neurodivergencies + sexuality. It’s a big deal, obviously, but it wasn’t super hard for him to accept. I mean, he had already accepted it a long time ago. He just didn’t know what it was. This was the timeline: “straight men think about dudes romantically” -> “oh, they don’t? I guess I’m bisexual” -> “I’m gonna go ask out Eddie”. The time between those events were between a day or two, to a couple hours. You can decide.

Even though steve wasn’t super phased by himself being neurodivergent + queer, it took A LOT of effort to accept the fact that he was disabled. With all that head trauma? Some point in between Billy smashing his head in and the Russians, Steve ended up developing epilepsy + is hard of hearing in one ear.

Steve actually doesn’t realise he’s epileptic for a while. He knows something is wrong, bc sometimes he’s doing something and then everything turns off and then suddenly he’s back and time has passed, but he doesn’t actually know what happened. A common trope in Steve has epilepsy fics, is Steve having absent seizures where it looks very similar to someone being venca’d, and I really like that so!! It isn’t until not too long after the events of Vecna that he ends up seizing in front of one of the party members and they freak the fuck out bc “oh my fucking god, Steve’s being vecna’d! What the fuck do we do?”. Once they force him to go to the doctors, he’s diagnosed with epilepsy. The thing he struggles with most is the fact that he thinks that his epilepsy makes him weaker (as he bases his worth on how much he can provide for the party). Him being unable to drive for a while doesn’t make it any easier, as a big portion of what he does for the stranger things kids is drive them around places.

Eddie, Nancy and Jonathan start helping out with the driving, tho, and even robin starts learning how to drive (with the help of Steve). She swears up and down that it’s only for emergencies, and Steve takes her for her word. She was a nervous wreck during their lessons.

Not only was Steve hesitant to accept his disabilities, but it also took a long time for him to accept his transness. This can apply to any type of trans headcanons you have for him. Personally, I think he’d be a really cool enby/trans fem lad. Any trans masc headcanons are totally cool too!! I just think enby/trans fem works really well with his character, as a huge part of how Steve is characterized is through his privilege + him becoming a better person, so him knowing he was trans since a young age + still being cool + popular doesn’t make as much sense as it was THE EIGHTIES. If he was transfem or enby, though, he’d realize after his big chunk of character development through season 1-2 and start realizing + accepting it from season 3 onward (it’s a long process). Steve really struggles with internalised transphobia though. Like, accepting he was bi? Easy. Accepting he was trans? Nope, nu uh. Not gonna happen. He often tries to convince himself that he’s making it up (as all of us envies do). The party is really accepting and supportive tho!! They make the whole experience 10x easier and are constantly making Steve feel really seen and validated in the best ways ever, especially the younger kids. It has made Steve cry on many occasions. Many occasions. Steve has spent most of his life lonely and desperately wishing for someone to love him the way he wants them to, and so after all the shit he’s went through? All the failed relationships and desperation to feel a sliver of reciprocated unconditional love? These shit heads end up run into his life and filling all the empty cavities in his chest that he didn’t even know where empty and he just feels so warm and happy all the time. Like, sure he knew that the party appreciated his presence and that robin loved him (they were platonic soulmates with a capital P after all), it’s just that he kind of thought that after a bit—if he revealed too much of him and what makes steve, steve—they maybe kinda not wanna be around him anymore. I mean, it’s happened before so it wasn’t so presumptuous of him to think that the pattern would repeat itself, okay? But then it didn’t , and steve was vulnerable in front of the party—his family—in a way he’d never been before because he didn’t think he was allowed to be and then he came out as trans!! And they were so fucking supportive of him!! They hugged him and they thought it was cool and they immediately asked him questions about what would make him the most comfortable and he just!! Fucking!! Holy shit!! He’s been waiting his whole entire 20ish years of life to find people who would genuinely like him for him and who wouldn’t get mad if he wasn’t able to sit still all the time or if he would look into peoples eyes too much or if he had to get them to talk predominantly on one side of him or!! If he actually wasn’t totally, completely a boy!! And he just!! They love him. They love him. And it’s in a way that his parents or his old friends never have and never will bc fuck them! His friends love him and they don’t care that he’s trans. Of fucking course he is going to cry.

Though lots of people think that hopper would be Steve’s step-in father, I personally think that the two are more of a kinda awkward, we-know-eachother-because-of-the-upside-down, type relationship. They don’t really talk that often, but they do have this mutual respect for each other + defend each other when the time calls. Wayne Munson on the other? He’s so entirely not like Steve’s father but so like Steve’s father that Steve has this urge to act likes Steve’s actual father would expects him to act, but towards Wayne. For example, Wayne is someone who commands respect. Not in the way Steve’s father commands respect by often using harsh words and demeaning comments, but rather with a mutual agreement of “if u treat me nice, I treat u nice”. Steve can tell that Wayne and his fathers demeanours are different. He knows. He’s not as stupid as others think he is. It’s just that Wayne and his father are so similar, (plus, Wayne honestly kind of scares Steve a bit) that sometimes when Steve is talking to him, it’s second nature for Steve to automatically straighten his posture, confirm that he is making the right amount of eye contact that wouldn’t get him reprimanded and start to slip “sir”‘s and “mr”‘s into sentences. Wayne notices this (of course) and tries his best to make Steve as most comfortable with him and in is home as possible. He raised Eddie, for god’s sake, who also came from a bad home and is as autistic as can be. He is quite good at showing Steve that he can trust him.

[just-dreaming-marvel]

Love and Medicine ~ 13

MASTERLIST

< previous chapter

Word Count: 3,160ish

Summary: You try to handle what happened with Steve, while Natasha tries to handle her pregnancy.

Warning: serious pregnancy complications

A few days later, you were anxious and needed to get energy out. You dragged Natasha to the park for a run. She was huffing and puffing as you basically ran circles around her.

“You’re stupid,” Natasha panted, trying to keep up. “You're stupid, evil, sadist and I wanna kill you.”

“Endorphins are good. Endorphins are mood elevators,” you replied. “This is supposed to make us feel better.”

Natasha stopped and threw herself on the ground. “Do you feel better?”

“I’m stupid.” You jogged around her.

“Slutty mistress.”

“Pregnant whore.”

“Sleeping with our bosses was a great idea.”

You stopped and sat yourself beside Nat. “You know what’s ruined for me?”

“What?”

“Ferry boats. I used to love ferry boats and Steve's got a thing for ferry boats. Now every time I see a frigging ferry boat—“

“You know what's ruined for me? Coronary artery by-pass grafts ... and aortic aneurysms. I used to love aortic aneurysms.”

You laid next to Natasha with a sigh. “Have you cried yet?”

“What do you think?”

“Do you think we’ll feel better if we cry? You know like just let it out?”

“Probably. Yeah…. Do you wanna cry now?”

“No.”

“Okay.”

~~~

Steve entered the hospital elevator, finding himself alone. Which was relieving. Unfortunately, at the last second, Fury entered wearing a beanie.

“Nice hat,” Steve commented.

“Shut up,” Fury responded.

“What are you doing here?”

“I’m going back to work.”

“You’re not cleared for surgery.”

“Leave me alone. I’ve been sitting at home watching Ellen giving away things on TV. Ellen, Steve! You clear me now or I’ll hurt you.”

“If you want me to clear you so soon, maybe you should've thought about that before you gave chief to Stark and invited Satan to Seattle.”

“Satan?”

“Good morning,” Peggy greeted, entering the elevator. “I like the hat, Nick.”

“Satan speaks,” Steve murmured.

“Actually I prefer to be called ruler of all that is evil. But I will answer to Satan.”

“What is she still doing here?”

“I asked her to stay,” Fury answered. “We have a pediatric surgery attending on maternity leave.”

“Actually, I could use you on a consult,” Peggy told Steve. “Will you meet me up there Steve?”

“Ah yeah. Fine,” he responded. Peggy left the elevator. “I’m not clearing you for surgery.”

~~~

Dr. Gamora and her group of interns were all gathered in a patient’s room for rounds. Dr. Banner was also in attendance.

“Mr. Jackson is scheduled for resection non-small cell carcinoma today,” Natasha stated. “He did well overnight, has remained afebrile. He's had a dose of ceftriaxone this morning. He's pre-op labs are unremarkable. His chest x-rays, um, are unchanged from the previous.”

“I own a couple dry-cleaning stores,” Mr. Jackson explained. “Never believed what they said about inhaling the chemicals.”

“We’re going to do everything we can for you, Mr. Jackson,” Banner promised. He turned to Natasha. “Did oncology see him yet?”

“Uh, they’re waiting for the surgical path,” Natasha replied.

“Thank you, Dr. Romanoff.”

“Next patient,” Dr. Gamora said. The group of interns followed Gamora.

“You need to tell Banner,” you whispered to Natasha.

“No,” Natasha responded.

“I just think you should still tell him about the baby because he'd at least have the responsibility of having to pay.”

“No! You know what? He’ll never know. It’s over. Once this pregnancy is taken care of, Banner won’t even be a blip on my radar. He’ll be a smudge.”

“Right,” you scoffed.

You all entered the next patient room to see a young woman.

“Alexa Rickie,” Peter began, “she’s 23 years old. In for a scheduled ETS for treatment of her erythrophobia hyperpyrexia.”

“Erythrophobia?” Val whispered to Clint.

“Blushing,” he answered.

“You have any questions about the procedure?” Gamora asked Alexa.

“Oh. Dr. Ro….” Alexa began, but paused as she started blushing badly. Trying to get it to go away, she fanned her face. “Dr. Rogers explained everything. He was very… huh… helpful. He gave me some…. sorry…”

“Don’t be,” Peter said. “Half the patients that come through here have the hots for Rogers.”

“Dr. Quill,” Gamora scolded.

“What? It’s true.”

You simply rolled your eyes. It’s not like Peter was wrong. It was just so annoying because it was true, all the patients did swoon over Steve. Gamora ordered all of you to exit the room. You followed her and stood in front of her when she stopped.

“Okay, assignments,” Dr. Gamora said, looking at some papers. “Val, the Rogers’ need an intern up in the NICU.”

“The Rogers’?” Val repeated. “Like, the both of them? Together? And me by myself with the two married people who hate each other?”

“Go.” Val sighed and walked off. “Natasha you’re on the thoracotomy.”

“With Banner?” Natasha wondered. “Oh, can I have the hateful married couple instead?”

“Okay, I’m sorry, I thought that I was your resident and not your hostess. I assign, you take. Is there a problem with that?”

“No.”

“Is there some reason why it's inconvenient for you to spend the day in the OR, learning from Dr. Banner?”

“No. I'm very happy to be working with Dr. Banner. Thank you very much.” Natasha rushed off.

“Clint and Scott, the pit.” They nodded and left. “Peter, Alexa Rickie is your patient.”

“Yes,” he said quietly before leaving.

“Y/N, you will be doing scut.”

“Excuse me?”

“I can tell you’re still distracted from the Rogers’ drama, and you need to find some focus.”

“I’m plenty focused.”

“Prove that to me today.”

~~~

Val stood by Peggy in the NICU as Steve went over a baby’s chart.

“Where’s the mother?” Steve asked.

“Gone,” Peggy answered. “She stuck around long enough to get the kid strung out and then took off. Sound familiar?”

“Peggy!”

“Steve, I know it’s a long shot. I know that.”

“You told me you had a newborn with an invasive mash. You fail to mention that she's premature, underweight and addicted to narcotics. There's no way that this baby is going to survive spinal surgery.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Even if she does, she's a mess. She'll just get meningitis seizures. She's going to live a short painful life.”

“You don’t know that.”

“It’s my job to know that.”

“You’re not God, Steve.”

“Excuse me?”

“I'm sorry honey but you're not. You don't get to decide—“

“Wait, did you just call me honey? Don’t call me honey!”

Val tried to focus on the baby as the conversation grew more uncomfortable.

“Fine,” Peggy conceded. “You’re not God, Dr. Rogers. Look if a patient has any chance at survival, which I think she does, then you have a responsibility—“

“Don’t talk to me about responsibility,” Steve retorted.

“You took an oath Steve!”

“Oh, don’t you dare talk to me about oaths!”

“Steve, I messed up. People mess up.”

“You slept with my best friend in my favorite sheets.”

“The flannel sheets? You hate the flannel sheets.”

“No, I love the sheets.”

“You like the Italian sheets with the paisleys—“

“Would you just stop talking about the sheets?”

“Fine!”

“Look I’m sorry. I’m just gonna go,” Val interrupted. “I’ll go check on the labs.” She couldn’t leave the room fast enough.

“Peggy, don’t do this,” Steve said.

“Steve… look she’s a fighter,” Peggy watched the baby girl. “Look how far she’s come already.”

“Don’t get attached. Don’t get involved. Just… don’t make her life more painful than it already is.”

“Steve, please. She has nobody. She needs someone to fight for her.”

“She’s too far gone. You have to let her go. Let her go in peace.” Steve started to head out.

“Fine Steve, walk away. It’s what you do best.”

~~~

“How are you holding up today?” Tony asked, cup of coffee in hand as he walked beside you.

“Fine,” you responded.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“I heard Gamora has you on scut today.”

You scoffed. “It’s ridiculous. She’s questioning if I’m focused.”

“She’s just making sure you’re alright. It’s her way of showing she cares.”

“Stupid way. Can you just put me on one of your cases for the day? I desperately need it.”

“Fine. Come on, I have a surgery in 30 minutes. You can scrub in.”

~~~

Natasha rushed into Dr. Banner’s surgery that had already began. She wasn’t feeling well and had spent a majority of the day in the bathroom. A nurse quickly handed her a gown.

“Here, Dr. Romanoff,” the nurse said.

“You’re late,” Bruce commented, focused on the surgery.

“I apologize,” Natasha responded, merging into the group of others that were watching.

“Just starting to dissect around Mr. Jackson’s tumor… I’ve almost got visualization.”

Natasha let out a shaky breath, as her head pounded. She had no idea what was going on, but she wasn’t willing to sit out on this surgery. She was already mad at herself for being late.

~~~

Val walked into the NICU with the baby’s chart. Peggy was watching over the baby who was gripping onto her finger.

“She’s got a good grip,” Val commented.

“Yeah,” Peggy agreed.

“I don’t think…” Val sighed, handing the chart over to Peggy. “It doesn’t look good.”

“She's a got a resistant strain of pneumococcus. The antibiotics aren't working. You may want to get yourself reassigned Val. I don't think we'll be operating today.”

“So do you think Dr. Rogers was right?”

“She’s just too far gone… she does have a good grip… I hate admitting that he’s right. Especially right now.”

~~~

Natasha was getting more exhausted with each passing second, and sweaty.

“The tumor has infiltrated the pericardium,” Bruce stated. Looking up, he sees Natasha looking like she’s day dreaming. “Romanoff! Romanoff!”

“What… sorry?” Natasha answered, the world around her muffled.

“Is my surgery interrupting your daydreaming?”

“No. Sorry.”

“There is an arrhythmia when I press down on the tumor. That is a sign of what, Romanoff?”

“Umm…. Ah. It’s a sign of, it’s a… it’s a sign that the uh, tumor has infiltrated the pericardium.”

“Possibilities?”

“In all… I’m sorry. I…”

“Do your homework, Romanoff. It could be causing a tear in the aortic muscle of the heart.”

“So he’s got a broken heart,” another doctor commented.

Panting, Natasha swayed before collapsing on the floor. A few of the doctors let out exclamations of surprise. From the gallery, Gamora, Scott, and Val saw everything. They quickly headed down to the OR.

“Dr. Romanoff, are you okay?” A doctor asked, kneeling beside her.

“Natasha,” Bruce called. “Natasha. Somebody help her!” He stopped surgery, but hadn’t moved from his spot. “Natasha! Don’t just stand there, dammit. Somebody help her. Get a gurney in here!”

Gamora, Val, and Scott rushed in with a gunnery and supplies.

“Natasha,” Bruce called again.

“Natasha,” Val repeated, getting down beside her friend.

“We’ve got it Dr. Banner,” Gamora said. “We’ve got it.” She put a breathing mask on Natasha’s face.

“Okay, talk to me. Tell me what we do we know,” Bruce ordered. “What do we know? Talk to me Valkyrie.”

“I don’t know,” Val responded.

“Come on people let’s move.”

“Natasha!” Gamora called. “What hurts?” Nat didn’t respond, but was conscious. “Let’s get her out of here. There’s a patient on the table. Lift.” They lifted Natasha onto the gurney and started moving her from the OR. “Good, good.”

“Dr. Gamora, when you get her stabilized, I need a report please.”

“Right, Dr. Banner!” They quickly move Natasha out and down the hall. “Uh! Her pulse is racing. I need her on a monitor to get a BP. Also I want her started on a liter of LR wide open. Val run ahead to emergency and let them know we're on our way.”

Val noticed that Natasha was trying to talk. She removed her friends mask. “What?” Val questioned.

“Seven weeks,” Natasha said, breathless. “I’m pregnant, Val. I’m pregnant.”

Val, Scott, and Gamora stopped and looked out each other. They moved the gurney into an elevator.

“Okay, no. We’re going to pre-op instead,” Gamora instructed. “Val, find Peggy Rogers. And be discreet.”

Val nodded and hurried off. She found Peggy with Fury and Clint near one of the nurses stations.

“Excuse me, Dr. Rogers. We need you fast,” Val said. “Um.. it’s Natasha, one of our interns. She’s…. she’s collapsed.”

“Natasha’s collapsed?” Clint repeated.

“Why do you need me?” Peggy asked.

Val sighed, not saying anything. Comprehension dawned on both Peggy and Fury, realizing that she must be pregnant. Clint looked at them, getting it too.”

“Natasha’s pregnant?!” Clint exclaimed.

“Shut up Clint,” Val scolded, before turning to Peggy. “Please come.”

“Of course,” Peggy agreed, following Val.

~~~

“Thank you for that, Tony,” you said, scrubbing out of surgery beside the attending. “I really needed it.”

“Of course,” he responded.

“Y/N,” Clint said, bursting into the scrub room.

“Clint?” You questioned. You studied him, realizing that there was something wrong. “What is it?”

“It’s Natasha.”

~~~

In pre-op, Peggy was performing an ultrasound on Natasha. Dr. Gamora was standing behind Nat’s bed, stroking her hair.

“Have you notified the father?” Peggy asked.

Natasha didn’t answer, simply breathing funny.

“Natasha? Natasha?” Gamora called. “Natasha? Is there anyone we can call?” Natasha just continued to gasp slightly. “Oh we’re losing her.”

“Do you see that?” Peggy asked, pointing at the screen displaying Natasha’s uterus. “It’s an extra uterine pregnancy in the tube there. She’s bleeding out. We need to get her to surgery immediately.”

They rushed Natasha to surgery and immediately got started. Gamora was still behind Natasha, watching over her, asVal observed the surgery.

“She’s gonna be okay, right?” Val worried.

“How attached was she to this pregnancy?” Peggy asked.

“I don’t know. She’s a pretty private person.”

“She's lost a lot of blood but I've got it from here. Dr. Gamora you must have a surgery or two of your own today.”

“I’m fine right here,” Gamora responded, keeping her eyes on Natasha.

~~~

You were rushing through the hall, trying to find out any information on Natasha and her condition. You were so incredibly worried about her, which didn’t help your already bubbling emotions. Rounding a corner, you rammed right into a chest. Hands grabbed your arms to steady you. You looked up to see Steve, looking down at you with concern. Just looking into his eyes, made you want to break down in his arms. Which was so extremely frustrating. You pushed back out of his grasp, causing Steve to hold up his arms in defense.

“Don’t!” You said sharply.

“Sorry,” Steve said.

“Don’t be sorry. I’m so tired of it, Of you being sorry.”

“Dr.—“

“Don’t do it!”

“Dr. L/N—“ He glanced around as you began causing a scene.

“Dr. L/N, seriously? Are you concerned about people finding out about us? Is that what matters to you?”

“Y/N, it’s okay.”

“It’s not okay! You have a wife who’s not easy to hate. Who’s annoyingly kind and painfully smart and I pretty sure that she’s current saving my best friend’s life.”

“Y/N, just—“

“Don’t! Stop talking to me like you’re my boyfriend! Stop talking to me at all.”

You rushed away, finding the OR that Natasha was being operated in. You opened the door. But before you could get fully into the room, Gamora saw you and came up to you.

“Need something?” Gamora questioned.

“I’m coming in,” you stated.

“No, you’re not.”

“I am. I’m her friend.”

“Exactly. She's lying on the operating table, naked, exposed. She's sedated but she's probably scared out of her mind. Now right now she's not a doctor. She's not your friend. She's a patient and she deserves to have all the privacy I can give her. You're not going any further.”

“We went jogging this morning,” you sighed. “I made her go jogging. Did I… is there a way that it could of….”

“No.” Gamora shook her head. “It started out this way. Nothing caused it to happen.”

“Just, please, let me stay by her side.”

“You can try. But I’d have to take you down.”

“Right now. Just in this moment. I hate you.”

“Yeah, well, I can take it. Focus on scut and wait outside.”

~~~

You found yourself working on scut in the lobby, trying to keep your mind off your friend in surgery. Steve stood far off, watching you. He couldn’t stop feeling terrible for what he had done to you, and he couldn’t stop loving you. Knowing that you wouldn’t want to be comforted by him, he found himself in the NICU, checking up on the premie baby Peggy had asked him to help on.

“Look at that, BP is stabilizing,” Peggy noted as she entered the NICU.

“She’s stronger since this morning,” Steve said, rocking slightly in the rocking chair next to the baby. “There’s no reason in the world why she should be stronger since this morning.”

“She’s really beautiful, isn’t she?”

“I’ll tell you what. If she makes it through the night, if she has a little bit more strength, I’ll operate.” They gave each other small smiles.

“You know the way I see it we could deal with us in one of three ways. Option 1. I could apologize. You could forgive me and come home and we could move on with our lives like adults. Or, option 2. I could apologize. You could forgive me, come home but, you can still bring it up to use against me whenever we argue.”

“Are you trying to be funny?”

“Satan has a sense of humor.”

“What’s the third?”

“I don’t know what the third option is.” She leaned in and kissed Steve, who kissed back. Slowly, she pulled away. “I just know that I still love you.”

~~~

Waking up, Natasha glanced around the hospital room. Her eyes stopped roaming when she noticed Gamora sitting in a chair beside her.

“What happened?” Natasha asked.

“You had an extra uterine pregnancy. Your left fallopian tube burst,” Gamora explained. “Dr. Rogers… she did everything she could but there was too much damage. She couldn't save the tube.”

Natasha didn’t respond, she simply looked away and closed her eyes.

~~~

You were sitting outside the medical center on a bench. It had been an emotional day and you were finally allowing yourself to cry. Walking out of the hospital to leave, Steve noticed you. But hadn’t noticed that you were crying yet.

“Y/N?” Steve called softly.

“Oh,” you gasped, trying to wipe the tears quickly.

“Y/N.” Steve came around to the side.

“Don’t…” You swallowed. “Please, please just don’t’ say anything.”

“Okay.”

He stood there, watching you try to pull yourself together before you quickly got up. You walked over, stopping in front of him.

“I’m just exhausted,” you sighed. “Missing my parents is exhausting. What happened to Natasha and you is… hating you is the most exhausting.” Without much thinking, you grabbed his face and briefly kissed Steve. “I don’t want to do it anymore.”

You headed back into the hospital, leaving Steve stunned.

next chapter >

Sorry that it has taken so long for this chapter to come out! Hopefully it’s not too terrible. Please forgive me.

If you want to be added to the tag list, please dm me or send in an ask.

LOVE AND MEDICINE TAG LIST

@fyreball66 (won’t link)

@alwaysnervousturtles​

@anxiousgoldengirl​

@lahoete​

@hersilencedscreams​

@elenaxoxo22​

@marvelfan29 (won’t link)

@wanniiieeee​

@a-little-counter-esperanto​

@aikeia​

@coldmuffinbanditshoe​

@aubreeskailynn

@austynparksandpizza​

@fandom-life-12​

@illyrianprincess​

@osugahunnyicedtea​​

@taliarosej00​

[futurebicon]

No Control Part 2

Part 2. I'm actually managing to write these faster than I thought I would be able to. Part 3 will probably take a little bit longer considering I had more time during the weekend. But I hope part 3 will be out as soon as I can write it.

Warning- hospital, mentions of car accident, semi and brief panic attack (?), no medical knowledge

Remus didn't know what to do as he sat in the cold metal chair of the hospital waiting room.

Leo was frozen. Staring blankly at the wall in front of him. His pupils were wide and his skin was a ghostly pale. His chest was rising and falling quicker than it probably should be.

He was 19 years old. He had never lost someone before and now he was in danger of loosing one of the loves of his life. No wonder his mind was trying to protect him.

Shock

Finn was pacing the room and would of punched the wall about half a dozen times if Dumo hadn't stopped him.

Anger

Remus didn't know what was going on. He kept looking towards the doors thinking Sirius would walk through them with his bright smile and kiss him with his soft lips. "Ready to go, mon loup? Doctors said I'm fine so you can stop your worrying. Lets go home and cuddle and maybe later I can prove to you just how fine I am."

Denial

+++

The team trickle in quickly.

James and Lily first. James wanted a play by play of what happened as Lily ran over to Remus with tears on her face. She pulled him into her side and let him cry.

Regulus was next. Pale and frantic. He went over to Leo after squeezing Remus's shoulder in a desperate attempt to comfort. He sat beside his best friend and didn't say anything, just let him process what was happening while hoping his presence help enough.

Remus must have zoned out because when he blinked again the entire team had filled the small waiting room.

"What happened?" James asked again.

"Uh-" Remus explained how they got the call with stuttered and hitched breaths.

+++

"Sirius Black?" The doctor walked into the waiting room.

"Is he okay?" Remus jumped up.

She smiled kindly. "Have a seat."

That can't be good.

"Sirius is in surgery right now to fix severe internal bleeding in his head and to remove his spleen which was ruptured in the crash."

"Oh god." James breathed.

"Now I know it sounds extremely bad but he can survive without a spleen. The only long lasting effects will be a weakened immune system." She calmed their nerves only slightly.

"He does have severe head trauma, the extent of which we won't know until he wakes up. He broke four ribs, one of which punctured his lung. Along with that he also broken both his tibula and his fibula on his left leg. And has severe whiplash. It might not seem like it but he is suspected to make a full recovery. I'll be back if anything happens and when he's out of surgery." She left the room, passing a man in a matching white coat on the way out.

"Logan?" Leo choked.

The doctor nodded and sat down. "His injuries are extensive but he will be able to make a full recovery."

They all let out a sigh of relief.

"He has severe internal bleeding in his chest, abdomen, and head. He also has severe whiplash. His kidney's were mildly damage and he has bruising on his heart. I know it sounds terrifying but all it means is he needs to take it slow and not move around too much." He told them. "You'll be able to see him once we get him stable."

"He- he's not stable?" Finn stammered.

"His vitals are taking a while to get under control." He hesitated. "But it's nothing too concerning considering the trauma his body went through."

They two didn't say anything and the doctor left the room to silence.

+++

Logan was awake when they came in.

"Hi, loves." He rasped out.

Finn sobbed and had to stop himself from flinging himself into his injured boyfriend.

"Shh. I'm okay. I'm okay." His words were slow but held comfort as he cupped his face with a bandaged hand. "I'm okay."

"Lo" Leos voice was gasped and choked. He made no attempt to hide the fear.

"Hey Peanut." Logan smiled. "Come here"

Leo took a step towards him and stopped. "I dont- um- what if I-"

"You're not gonna hurt me. I'm okay."

"But I could." He scanned the room like he was trapped.

"Hey" Finn stood up and walked over to the teenager who hadn't fully come out of his shock yet and seeing his love like this made his mind want to hide away again.

"Here." He gently led him over to the hospital bed. "He's okay."

"Hi, my baby." Logan smiled and grabbed Leo's hand.

"You're okay?"

"I'm okay." Logan nodded.

"Promise?" His voice was broken and his eyes never stopped their sweep of the room.

"I promise."

"Okay." He breathed out and finally calmed down enough to sit beside Logan's bed.

+++

"Hey, Loops" Logan nodded at the pale man as the team walked in. "Any updates?"

"He's still in surgery." His voice was rough with tears and misuse. "How are you feeling?"

"Sore and in pain but I'm alive." He shrugged.

"Thankfully." Dumo walked over.

"Hey, Dumo." Logan hugged him as well as he could.

"Scared me for a while there, kiddo."

"Sorry about that."

"So what happened exactly?" Kasey asked.

"We were gonna go get something to eat and Sirius turned at a greenlight. Someone ran the light and hit Sirius's side. We spun out and then rolled, fuck I don't even know, a lot of times. I think I blacked out on the six or seventh roll. Maybe the second. It felt like forever. I don't know when, or if, Sirius blacked out." Logan explained.

"Kept saying your name though." He looked up at Remus.

Remus's hazel eyes filled with tears and he let out a sob into his elbow.

"Sorry."

"No, no it's okay." Remus sniffled back the tears. "Just, uh, just worried. You know?"

"He'll be alright." Logan told him before smiling. "We just have to come up with some new nickname for him now that he doesn't have a spleen or an immune system."

"Spleenless."

"Captain of the sick ship."

"Sniffles"

"Captain Spleen."

"No mo munie."

They all threw around names.

"He's gonna be more upset about the fact that he won't be able to hide when he's sick than he'll be about the missing organ." James laughed.

"Probably." Remus nodded.

Their laughs were cut off by a knock on the door. "Remus Lupin?" Sirius's doctor, Dr. Gemma, walked in.

"Yeah. What's going on? Is he alright?"

"He's out of surgery and awake." She told them with a kind smile.

"So he's okay?"

"He is showing signs of very, very slight amnesia. Just not remembering the accident at all which is completely understandable and no cause for concern."

"Can I see him?"

"Of course." She nodded.

Remus followed after her with whispers to update them on how he is.

+++

"I do have to warn you about the possible side effects he could start to show or is already showing." Dr. Gemma said as they walked down the long hallways.

"Like what?"

"As I said he does have slight amnesia. He seems to either be having hearing problems or is having a hard time understanding speech. Possibly both. He might also be having difficulty thinking. There is other symptoms that he hasn't shown yet but might in the future, headaches, seizure, nausea, vomiting, fever, and more. If any of these happen or anything concerning, page us immediately."

They finally turned down the hallway that seemed to be his.

"I'll let you two be, and again, page us immediatly if anything happens or if you need anything. Okay?" They stopped outside his door.

"Okay, thank you."

"No need for thanks." She smiled. "Now go see him. You were the first thing he asked about when he woke up."

Remus smiled at that and pushed the door open. He tried hard not to react to all the wires surrounding him but it was hard not too. All he could do to try was hurry over to his lovers side.

"Hi, baby." He smiled through tears as his hazel eyes saw grey. "Hi" He gripped his hand tightly.

"Re" Sirius said slowly.

"Yeah. yeah. It's me, baby. I'm right here. You're okay. You're okay." He kissed his forehead to hide the tears.

"Don't- cry- mon loup." It took him a while to say.

"Sorry. You just scared me for a little while." Remus smiled at him. "Are you feeling okay?"

Sirius gave him a confused look.

"What? What's wrong? Are you okay? What do you need?" Remus rambled in concern.

"Shh" Sirius set a hand on Remus's. "Okay" He talked about himself. "Just, too many."

"Too many what, love?"

"Words. Can't know. Don't think." He was begining to get frustrated.

"It's okay." Remus said slower. "I know. It's okay."

Sirius nodded and relaxed against the pillows.

"Said Logan- with- hurt?" the words were chopped and Remus could see the frustration in his eyes.

"Logan was in the car." Remus nodded. "But he's okay. The team is with him."

"Team?" Sirius furrowed his eyebrows and blinked in confusion.

"Your hockey team." Remus tried to keep the panic out of his voice. "James, Dumo, Logan, Leo, Finn, Kasey, Walker, Kuny, Olli-"

"I remember." Sirius cut him off. "Just forgot."

"That's okay. The doctors said that would happen."

"See them?" Sirius asked hopefully.

"See the doctors?"

"No. Team."

"Oh, yeah. Yeah. I'm sure the team will be here soo-"

As if they heard them, a group of hockey players knocked on the door and walked into the hospital room

I really don't like this part compared to part one.

Thank you @lumosinlove for letting us take your happy, lovely characters and make them be in pain

[oboevallis]

who is he

AU: amelia never told link he was the father of her son

“Amelia, you have to tell him eventually. Especially if he’s asking.” Meredith reprimanded as she stirred in sugar into her coffee. Since Scout was at school age everyone had been telling her he’d be asking questions about his father, and Amelia had been dreading that conversation. He had asked the question last night though, he asked Amelia why he didn’t have a dad present, his friend has two dads, and he could never recall him having one or mention of one.

“There’s nothing to tell him, Mer.” Amelia sighed as she situated her lab coat, and pulled her hair back.

“Well, he has a dad. Who may I add has no idea, that it’s their child.”

“Link made it clear if the baby wasn’t his he wasn’t interested. So when I found out the baby was his I realized, if he can’t love me for me he doesn’t deserve to love my kid. At the end of the day he’s mine.”

“And Link’s kid. It takes two to make a baby.”

“And only takes one to give them sufficient love no matter what.” Amelia sighed, sending a glare towards her sister before leaving the attendings lounge. Since Link left her and she’s had no contact with him, and wasn’t interested in doing so.

_______________________________________

“Mom?” Scout asked as he walked into his mother’s room.

“Yeah babe?” She patted the space in her bed next to her. Scout crawled into bed next to her and passed her a paper.

“We have to do a project about our lives, like where our names come from and our parents and like where we were born and stuff like that.” He pointed to each bullet point that had the criteria.

“Alright.” Amelia smiled, knowing her son he was going to try and find information about his father through this. “Seems simple enough, you want to get started now?”

“Hmm.” Scout seemed to contemplate this. “No, but maybe you can tell me the things I need to know?”

“Okay.” Amelia braced herself and sat up before passing the piece of paper back to him. “What do you need to know?”

“How did you and my dad meet?” Amelia leaned over to see the sheet of paper.

“I don’t see that as a question on the list.” She then pointed to one of the bullets on the list. “Here, we can do the ‘where we’re you born question’.” Amelia chuckled scooting closer to her son and wrapping her arm around her son. “I was in LA that’s in California. It was late at night and I couldn’t sleep, because you were kicking up a storm.”

“Did I hurt you when I would kick.”

“Nope, didn’t hurt a bit. It was just hard to get comfortable. Back to my story, I went outside and sat on the beach, then your Aunt Addison came and sat with me for awhile. It took her a long time to convince me that I needed to go to the hospital.”

“Why didn’t you want to go to the hospital?”

“I was scared.” She forced a smile, thinking about her first son, but she wasn’t going to get into that at the moment. “But then early early early in the morning you came, and I saw your cute little face and you were healthy and perfect. And I wasn’t scared anymore because I had you.” Scout smiled at his mother, before asking the next question.

“Why’d you name me Scout?” Amelia hesitated for a moment. He’d been named Scout because it correlated with his fathers name, and when she told Link it was a boy he’d suggested the name and at first she hated it, but when she saw her son for the first time she knew he was a Scout.

“Your name comes from a character in a book. You’ll get to read it when your a bit older.”

“I don’t have siblings, so can I talk about Zola and bailey and Ellis?”

“Yeah, I don’t see why not.”

“So how are they related to us?”

“Well, my brother Derek.”

“My middle name!”

“Yep, he’s the dad of Zola, Bailey, and Ellis. So since Derek and I are siblings his kids are my nieces and nephew, making them your cousins.”

“Do you miss your brother?”

“I do, everyday.” Amelia nodded.

“How about my dad? Do you miss him?”

“Why are you so keen on knowing about your dad?”

“I dunno, it seems like everyone has a dad. And they do things with them, like go to baseball games.”

“Well we’ve talked about how every family looks different. Like your friend has two dads and no mom? Some kids only have a dad, some have two moms. Our family is you and me.” She wrapped her arm around her son allowing him to lean his head on her shoulder. “And we can go to a baseball game if you really want to. We can do all those things.”

“Really? You’ll take me to a baseball game? You always say how dangerous it is.”

“Yeah, but we can go to a game. As long as your not partaking in the game yourself.”

“Deal!” Scout jumped up on the bed, shrieking with laughter. “Can we see the Mariners?” Her heart dropped at the mention of the team.

“Any other team you like?”

“Well yeah, but the Mariners are Seattle’s team. And we do live in Seattle, and I really like their mascot.”

“Okay, we can go to a game.” The neurosurgeon sighed nervously.

“Yay!” Scout jumped on to his mother engulfing her in a hug. “Your the best mommy ever.” Amelia smiled contently, savoring the hug.

_______________________________________

“This is reaaaaaaaaaaally big.” Scout said as they stood near the entrance and he was looking up at the stadium.

“It is isn’t it.” Amelia looked down at her beaming son and smiled, he had the same smile as his father. “Now when we go in, you don’t let go of my hand, okay?”

“Mom I’m 6 years old, I’m a big kid.”

“Yes you are a big kid, but I’m afraid I’m going to get lost so I’m gonna hold your hand.”

“Okay, I’ll protect you mom.”

“I appreciate that.” She squeezed her sons hand, and leaded them to ticket booth. Once they got into the stadium, Scout clung tightly to his mother obviously not used to the amount of people around them. “Want to get some nachos?”

“They have nachos here?” Amelia brightly smiled and nodded, knowing they were her sons favorite. “This is the best place ever!”

“Hmm.” Amelia hummed, she knew her son was over the moon excited, but all she wanted to do was run far away. As they were waiting in the concession line, Scout explained to her who the star players were and how the game worked.

“Is anyone a doctor?” A voice shouted from behind, causing Amelia to turn around abruptly. She took her sons hand and went to the person who was seizing on the floor.

“Don’t move, and watch this watch keep track of the time.” She told her son handing him her watch and left him two feet away. She then moved to move the person onto their side, and took off her jacket putting it under the mans head. “I’m Dr Shepherd. Has he ever had a seizure before?” She asked the woman standing beside the man, obviously distraught.

“No, no this is the first time.”

“Heard there’s a seizure?” Amelia’s heart dropped when she heard the voice. He kneeled across from her, and his face visibly dropped registering who was in front of him. The paramedics were standing next to the two with a stretcher ready for the patient, but the seizure had yet to stop.

“Do guys have lorazepam?” Amelia asked, looking at the paramedics instead of Link who had the medical bag.

“Already on it.” Link salty said as he injected the patient with it. After a couple of seconds the seizure ceased.

“How long was that?” Amelia asked looking back to her son.

“5 minutes aaaaaaand 3 seconds.” Scout said as he watched the watch in his hand.

“Alright, this guys gotta get to the hospital.” Amelia said before helping the paramedics ease the man into the stretcher. She then took her sons hand.

“Grey-Sloan right?” Link asked as he walked with them.

“Yeah we’re gonna take him there, are you coming as well Dr Shepherd?” The paramedic asked, Amelia nodded and picked her son up so they could keep up with the fast pace. “What are you doing Dr Lincoln?” The paramedics asked noticing he was following them.

“I was gonna come.”

“No, you’ve gotta stay here. You know in case one of the players get hurt?” The other paramedic said as they loaded into the ambulance.

“Yeah, right.” Link and Amelia held eye contact as the door was shut. He watched the ambulance drive away and sighed, it had been years since he had seen her. He thought lots of times what he’d say if he saw her again, but failed to get the words out.

_______________________________________

“I’m so sorry we missed the game.” Amelia apologized as she walked into the attendings lounge where he was sitting with Maggie.

“It’s okay.” He sighed, leaning into his mother once she sat down on the couch.

“I promise the next game we’ll go, and I’ll try really hard not to save someone’s life.” She chuckled, kissing the top of her sons head.

“I have a question.”

“And I may have an answer.”

“Who was that doctor? He knew what hospital you worked at.”

“Oh my God, Link?” Maggie asked, abruptly turning around while she was pouring her coffee.

“Who’s Link?” Scout asked.

“Link. Is. No. One.” Amelia glared at her sister.

“Right.” Maggie immediately looked down at the floor, embarrassed. “I’m just gonna go now.”

“Now, they won’t be stadium nachos, but want to go get nachos somewhere?”

“Yes please!” Scout smiled jumping up from the couch.

“Let’s get some nachos.” Amelia smiled standing up, Scout went to get his coat on while Amelia opened up her phone and stared at her former boyfriends contact, before shutting her phone off and taking her sons hand as they walked out of the hospital together. Seeing Link today brought up old feelings but she had to remember she had all she needed, her son. She smiled as he squeezed her hand and it reaffirmed her he was all she needed.

[depressedacadamia]

The Anatomy of the Sun- Chapter I

Edit- This is the first chap in a Percy Jackson/ Greys anatomy AU as well as my first fic! It’s going to follow the Grey’s anatomy plot behind the patients and the romances will be loosely based off it. I hope you do enjoy it! It was inpsired by @buoyantsaturn and their fic ‘Into you like a train’. 

Summary: Dr Will Solace just transferred to the New York Presybetarian hospital to become their Head of Trauma. Dr Nico Di Angelo is a month fresh out of Med- school and is starting his internship at New York Presbytarian. Nico, excited to join his best friend and head of the neurology department- Percy Jackson, wants to prove that he is not just the legacy that his sister- Bianca Di Angelo, left. As the doctors battle to save lives, they also battle to save relationships- but some may say it's too late. 

Chapter I- Work Work

Nico could feel his chest pounding as he drove. It wasn’t a good kind of pounding, not that there ever really is, but a -my heart is beating so damn fast - kind of pounding. Today was his first day at New York Presbytarian Hospital as an actual doctor. A surgeon. An intern.

 He groaned as he remembered that he would basically be the servant of his bosses for the next year. He wished his sister was here- she’d tell him how awesome he’d be, all the cool parts of internship and how ‘the friends you make here are friends for life’. Nico wasn’t nervous about friends though- he had known the Head of Neuro, Percy Jackson, for almost his entire life. In fact, it had been Percy who inspired him to become a surgeon. Nico knew- As a surgeon, you either have what it takes to play or you don’t. Nico’s sister , Bianca, was one of the greats, Nico on the other hand was so screwed.

The first Nico noticed about the hospital was that it was very very bright. Maybe it wasn’t and Nico was panicking; it wouldn’t be so beyond him. He watched as several other cars pulled up with other newbies similar to himself. He noticed that some people had their own stethoscopes- would anybody notice that his was used? The stethoscope he wore had the initials B.D.A engraved into the side of the drum. Did it matter if someone noticed that his was old? He could easily afford a new one either way but he had wanted to wear his sister's one. He hoped it would bring him good luck because he had a good feeling that he was going to need it. 

He walked into the Hospital where he was directed to a cleared Operating Room for the new interns who were having their introduction. He passed a group of attendings, all of whom he vaguely recognised but he noticed one in particular with curly blond hair. Of all the years he had tagged along with Percy to hang out at the hospital, he had never seen that dude- Why haven’t I seen him before?

“Every one of you comes here today hopeful, wanting in the game. A month ago you were in med school being taught by doctors- Today, you are the doctors. The seven years you spend here as a surgical resident will be the best and worst of your life. You will be pushed to the breaking point. Look around you- say hello to your competition. 8 of you will switch to an easier speciality. 5 of you will crack under the pressure, 2 of you will be asked to leave. This is your starting line- This is your arena. How do you play? That's up to you,” A man with long brown hair and greying roots dramatically explained. Nico realised that this was the Chief of Surgery- Chiron! Nico was surprised to learn that he still worked here after all these years. He recalled Bianca talking about Chiron who had been her mentor. 

Nico looked around at what was his competition-  as he thought, he was so screwed.

As he made his way into the locker room, some faces became familiar. He recalled some of these faces- the people he had met at the mixer. Nico decided to focus on work and not making friends; if someone spoke to him, he’d reply but he was not initiating any conversations. He had diagnosed himself with the overall dislike of humanity. Just as he was contemplating wearing his white coat, ( he remembered Bianca telling him that everyone knows that the doctors with the cleanest coats are the newbies and he did not want people noticing) the girl to his left with cropped brown hair and a determined expression tapped him on the shoulder.

“You’re Nico right? Which resident have you got?” She asked.

“Yeah, I’m Nico and I’ve got Chase. What about you?”

 “ Same. And it’s Meg.”

A guy from across the room turned around, excited to have something in common with others. His hair was short and blond but not the same colour as the new attending that Nico had noticed earlier. This guy's hair was almost a platinum kind of blond whereas the attending had golden hair- Like the colour of sunrise. 

“You’ve got her too? So did I- You’re Nico, Nico Di Angelo right? I’m Jason Grace- we met at the mixer. You made a bold impression; black, skinny ripped jeans,  Ramone T-shirt and skull rings despite the fact it was obviously a work event… Okay I’ll stop talking,” The man rushed out all at once.

“Grace, Mccaffrey, Di Angelo and June!” A voice called out into the locker room. Nico looked at what were supposed to be his future friends. If he was supposed to feel some sort of magical bond with them- he sure as hell was not. The girl in front (who Nico could only assume was Dr June) was almost hopping - okay, she’s a happy person,  Avoid her at all costs- he put in a mental reminder. Nico watched as she approached the Blonde woman at the desk. Nico almost face palmed- Her surname was Chase- this had to be Percy’s girlfriend that he had been telling him about over the phone a while ago. June started talking only to be cut off.

“I’m Juniper June but most people just call me-”  

“I have 5 rules, memorise them. Rule number 1- don’t bother sucking up, I already hate you, that's not gonna change. Trauma protocol, phone list and pagers-” Annabeth pointed to the desk behind her. There lay 4 pagers which all the interns, including Nico, scrambled forward to grab.

“-Nurses will page you, you answer every page at a run- you hear me? A run, Rule number 2- Your first shift starts now and lasts 48 hours. You’re interns, grunts, nobodies- bottom of the surgical food chain. You run labs, write orders, work every second night until you drop and don’t complain!” She called as she led them across the bridge and into the second section of the hospital. Nico, not being the tallest person, struggled slightly to keep up.  They walked into a dark room that seemed to have bunk beds with thin mattresses and flimsy unmade covers. 

“On call rooms- attendings hog them- sleep when you can, where you can, which brings me to Rule number 3. If I’m sleeping, don’t wake me unless your patient is actually dying. Rule number 4- the dying patient better not be dead when I get there. Not only will you have killed a person, you would have woken me up for no good reason. We clear?” 

Nico was clear but he also wasn’t. He doesn’t remember Bianca telling him any of these rules and he also didn’t recall hearing the 5th rule. Did she already say it when he wasn’t listening? He didn’t think so but he also didn’t want to look like an idiot. He decided to ask, if he was going to fail at this hospital, he might as well fail knowing everything there was to know.

“That's only 4 rules. You said there were 5.” Nico slid in between Meg and Dr Grace, his head only up to the bases of their necks. Just Nico said those words, he heard a beeping which he could only assume came from someone's pager. Annabeth immediately looked down, grabbing the pager she had tagged into her waist.

“Rule number 5- When I move, you move.”

Hour 1

Nico slipped on his gloves as he stood in the elevator with the other interns. The second he heard its ‘ping’ he rushed forward, eager to learn. The wind blasted into his eyes and immediately, Nico raised his hands to cover his face. His hair flopped about as the helicopter descended in front him. He raised his head slightly and saw the same golden haired attending that he had noticed earlier- Nico took a guess that he was the trauma surgeon. He followed Dr. Chase who ran forward and helped lift the stretcher out of the helicopter. Nico perked his ears up as he heard the trauma surgeon recite her history.

“Katie Bryce, 15 years old, female, new onset seizures- intermittent for the past week. IV lost en route- Started grand mal seizing as we descended,” He shouted over the loud roar of the engine. Crap, Grand mal seizures, really? God really thought lets give me a hard case. They rushed to get her inside and Nico was trying to not panic as he heard Dr. Chase command the staff like it was her own mini army.

 “Put her on her side. 10 Milligrams of diazepam. No, the white lead is on the right. Righty whitey, smoke over fire. Give her a large bore IV, Don’t let the blood hemolyze.”

A different doctor walked in, his hair was black and cut short. His skin was a creamy white and Nico recognised the second language under ‘Doctor Zhang’ on his white coat to be chinese. 

“Dr. Chase, what do we have?” He asked, flipping through her chart. 

“Right now, nothing.”

“Okay, let's shotgun her.” He raised his hands and took a step backwards, allowing for the interns to continue their treatment. 

“Okay, you heard the man. Shotgun means every test in the book- CT, CBC, Chem 7, Tox screen. Mccaffery- you’re running labs, Grace- patient work ups and Di Angelo- take her for a CT,” Dr. Chase ordered

“Um, Dr. Chase, I think you forgot me,” Juniper piped up meekly. Annabeth turned around and gave her a firm look before telling her,

“Honey, you’re doing rectal exams.”

Nico couldn’t tell if he should laugh at the poor intern or console her. 

Each intern was busy. Extraordinarily busy. Nico did not expect the line for the CT machine to be so long. This was the best hospital in all of New York! You’d think they would be much faster but no, here Nico was with his patient who he had recently learnt, loved to talk… about herself.

“I’m missing my pageant,” Kaite whined.

“You’re missing your pageant?” Nico had to physically restrain himself from snorting. So that's what non- doctors  and people with normal lives did. Things like going to pageants.

“Yeah! And I was super excited because the judges were getting to the talents for the pageant- Mine is rhythmic gymnastics. I sprained my ankle and fell when I was training but now I was soo ready but then...” she threw her arms up slightly signifying everything around them and Nico understood- she had a seizure which stopped her from competing.

 “Katie Bryce’s labs came out clear, nothing in the results that would explain her seizures,” Meg informed Dr. Chase who was currently peeking her head out of a surgery. Dr. Chase nodded and was about to return to assisting on the procedure when Meg started talking again

“I heard that the attending picks the most promising intern on the first to perform a minor procedure.”

Dr. Chase looked anything but impressed.

“Go away,” she deadpanned as she closed the door in Meg’s face and returned to her surgery.

“It’s just what I heard!” Meg mumbled exasperatedly as she left the scrub room.

Hour 7

The cafeteria was full. One would think the hospital cafeteria would be stocked with healthy foods but in reality it was quite the opposite. It was stacked with a bunch of doctors telling you to eat healthy food as they stuffed their faces with pizza. The seating arrangements weren’t much different from a high school. You sit with who you know and avoid the ones in charge. Meg, Jason, Juniper and a group of other interns were all grouped together not too far away from the group of attendings and 3 residents. 

 “You know Nico is inbred.” Meg popped the fact onto the other interns. 

“Like it’s uncommon to be related to a doctor, my sister is Dr Thalia Grace.”Jason pointed his thumb to the girl with jet back hair and array of ear piercings who was currently smiling wickedly. 

“No like royally inbred, his sister is Bianca Di Angelo,” Meg insisted. 

“Shut up! The Bianca Di Angelo?” Juniper joined in.

“Who is Bianca Di Angelo?” Jason, as clueless as ever, asked. The entire table exploded into whispers and gasps.

“Where do you live, under a rock? The angel method? Where do you think that came from?”

“She’s a living legend!”

“She’s won 2 harper Averies!”

“Talk about familial pressure.”

“Um, incoming Nico Di Angelo,” Jason tried to speak over the food in his mouth unsuccessfully. Luckily, the other interns looked in the direction of him and shut their mouths up in time. Nico, with his 3rd cup of coffee that day slumped into a chair and slammed his head onto the table.

“Katie Bryce is a pain in my ass. If I hadn’t taken the hippocratic oath, I’d kevorkian her with my bare hands,” Nico groaned. Juniper, eager to get his mind off an annoying patient chirped in,

“I heard Chase and Jackson were dating- A resident and an attending!”

“They are,” Nico confirmed as the interns stole glances at the attending and the resident together, surprised that Dr. Chase had the ability to laugh or smile.

“Who wants to go for an attending? Bet ya none of you can,” Meg poked fun at them.

“I bet ya I could do Solace, he’s new apparently,” Nico hummed as he peacefully sipped his coffee, closing his eyes to enjoy the smell that drifted into his nose.

“Meg, you wanna go for Valdez?” Juniper curiously poked.      

“Nah, he’s only a resident and besides- He’s totally making eyes at Calypso. Letting a resident try to get into an attending pants is way more fun. I wanna see him fall into a hole.”

All of the interns stopped and turned to Meg, a slightly horrified look growing on their faces.

“Okay, now that Satan has stopped talking, who wants to put down their bets?” Jason beamed as Meg sneaked a quick punch to arm which had him cowering for a bit longer than necessary. The interns were all mucking about until a new voice joined the conversation.

“Hey! I just transferred to Chase’s service, I don’t really know anyon-”

“-Hazel?”  Nico’s confused voice echoed and his eyes shot open at the recognition of the soft voice.  

 “Nico?”  Hazel raised an eyebrow. They had both agreed to go to work in separate hospitals to limit family drama.  Ever since they had found out they were related, the family tensions had been higher than ever. Nico had assumed Hazel would go to a different hospital and leave New York Presbyterian for him and it seems Hazel had assumed the same vice versa.        

“You two know each other?” A voice, recognised as Meg, called out. 

“I’m Doctor Hazel Levesque. Newest Surgical intern under Dr Chase.” She reached out and gave her hand to Meg who shook it firmly. She gave another hand shake to Jason and a nod to Nico- both of them had ignored Meg’s question.  

“Final call, who’s going in?” Jason reminded them. 

“Me- Solace is new, hot, probably clueless and he’s the new Head attending in trauma.” Nico slammed his hand onto the table, indicating he was all in. It was easy, right? Seduce him and then manipulate. It couldn’t be too hard. 

Around 2 tables away from the interns, the attendings and residents were chatting away. Will, who had only recently joined the hospital, was still getting used to the way people behaved here. Everyone was so much more nice than he had expected. He remembered how people warned him about New York folks but in all honesty, Will would say that he was having a pretty good time, especially if the Di Angelo intern stayed in his eyeline-

“-Solace is eyeing the interns!” Percy’s excited voice cut into Will’s thoughts. Horrified, Will managed to sputter out,

“I am not eyeing the interns!”

“I like the newbie, she seems nice- better than the rest at least,”Frank mumbled about Hazel as he sipped at his hot tea. Piper to his left admitted,

“Blond one’s hot.”     

“That blond one is my brother,” Thalia grunted.

“Why doesn’t anyone call me hot?” Leo pouted as he rolled up the other sleeve of his shirt calling the attention of Calypso’s eyes. 

I’d totally call you hot , She thought.

She only glanced once.. Maybe twice… okay she was staring at him. But ever since Leo had become a resident, she kept on thinking they had to potential to become what.. Well, what Annabeth and Percy had become. Sure, she had rejected all his previous advances but she didn’t want to. She just didn’t think the timing was right- She was very aware that simply telling him the timing wasn’t right was a much more mature thing to do than acting bratty every time he spoke to her.

“Valdez, go make sure none of the pre-surgery kids aren’t sneaking pudding. There’s always bound to be one.” Dr Reyna Ramirez batted her hand towards her resident who gave her a mock salute before walking off. Calypso, unaware that everyone was watching, had her eyes glued to Leo.

 “Calypso is totally checking out Valdez- Mother Hen Reyna watch out- Calypso is after your chicks,” Percy snickered making a joke to the fact that Leo was Reyna’s resident- before Piper smacked him on the back of the head indicating a Shut it, hypocrite.

“No I’m not!” Calypso insisted, whipping her head, that only moments ago was glued to Leo’s ass. She ducked her head and sided next to Piper and Will.

“Calypso eyeing Leo is old news, please make sure you keep yourself updated,” Annabeth proclaimed, her head resting against Percy while his arm was snaked around her waist.    

“I will tell you what’s new then, Solace watching Nico like he’s fresh meat. That’s my bro that you’re checking out man.”     

 “I am NOT checking out Di Angelo!”  

 “Zhang, who are you picking for the procedure?” Annabeth curiously asked and also slightly eager to move away from the current topic. In all honesty, Annabeth expected Frank to choose Di Angelo- He was clearly the most promising and most experienced if one could even call an intern that. Annabeth knew that Percy and Nico had practically grown up together and besides he was a Di Angelo- Surely if his sister could cut, so could he.

“I’m gonna go with Grace.”

“He is not ready for that. Not to be a terrible sibling but he gets flustered a tad easily,” Thalia butted in, trying to protect her brother. She loved him but Jason was a tad sensitive and rustling his feathers was almost too easy.

“Torture one and the rest will fall in line,” Frank admitted half heartedly. He didn’t want to Pick on Jason- he seemed like a great kid, But he also didn’t want to have to have a bunch of misbehaving interns who had egos too big for the hospital because nobody ever put them in line. 

“Are you sure about Grace though?” Annabeth pushed, her voice slightly uneasy. Percy, who noticed this, squeezed her waist gently as a gesture of comfort, affection even. Percy was watching Nico’s table. The interns seemed to be having fun, no one was picking on Nico which was the most important thing and he figured soon the interns would realise Nico’s infamy- of being a Di Angelo of course. What he totally didn’t expect however, was Nico to get out of his chair and casually stroll over towards the group of attendings and residents. 

Nico honestly did not know what he was thinking. Was he being bold? Absolutely. Was he acting on impulse? Most obviously. Was he regretting every step towards them? Definitely. 

He saw Percy’s eyes widen ever so slightly before his face rested into a comforting, genuine smile- something Nico truly appreciated. If Percy was acting nice, the rest of the group were bound to follow his lead, right? Nico shuffled past 2 of the attendings, reaching behind them to gain access to the coffee machine.

Will didn’t know how to react. Did interns normally come and hang out with attendings here? He had no idea. Percy looked as if he knew Nico all his life and he did tell him earlier; That's my bro you’re checking out man. Were they actually related? Or did they just know each other for a long time? By now, all the attendings were settled at their own tables and Piper had unfortunately been rushed off for emergency surgery on one of her patients, leaving Will to sit by himself at a table. That was until Nico was standing by one of the chairs.

Nico took a deep breath and stood by the chair at Will’s almost empty table. It had taken Will a couple of seconds to notice that there was someone even at his table before he almost jolted backwards, alarmed by the shadow that had appeared on his table. Immediately, out of politeness, he gestured towards a seat.

“Do you wanna take a seat?” He offered politely. He watched as the intern hesitated. He could see how nervous he seemed and for a minute he really pitied him- It was no doubt stressful to be the brother of a famous surgeon, especially a Di Angelo.

“Are you sure? I mean, aren't you an attending, ya know, my boss and-”

“-Calm down, it's just a seat,” Will cut off Nico’s rambling and offered the man a seat. Gingerly Nico took it and looked down at his coffee. 

Nico did not think making Dr Solace treat him so nicely was going to be so easy. All he had to do was give a shy look away and blabber a bit and the next thing he knew, Dr. Solace had his hand on top of Nico’s and was shuffling his chair closer to his. Nico realised it was now or never- he had to start sending the right message. 

 “I’ve always found trauma interesting- ya know? Never knowing what's going to come into those doors. Percy used to tell me how much he hated it,” Nico laughed gently, making sure he accidentally  brushed his leg against Dr Solace’s.

“Trauma? Really? Lucky for you, I just so happen to be the new attending on that.”

“I think I’m much more lucky than you think I am, if you catch my draft,” Nico mummuered, smirking slightly, his eyes dropping to Will's lips causing Will to finally get what he meant. Will, slightly flustered by Nico’s onset attitude, flushed pink slightly. He was flattered greatly that someone as good looking as Nico found him attractive but he didn’t want to cause commotion or draw so much attention to himself  so early either. He wasn’t gonna lie, he totally was into Nico but Will knew that he could be putting Nico’s job at risk, not to mention his own. But it wasn’t as if Nico was using him- Nico seemed too innocent for that and besides- he was a Di Angelo, people respected him and the holy ground he walked on.

“If all goes well in your first surgery, feel free to send that draft out again.” Will winked as he got up and threw away the remains of his terrible lunch before heading to the table with the remaining attendings.

“Impress him with your loving, then impress him with your healing,” Will heard Percy whisper, which earned Percy a punch in the arm from Piper, a dirty look from Annabeth and snort from Frank. Will, slightly sick of Percy’s teasing, stormed off to the department at the entrance of the hospital which all the staff here called ‘The Pit’ for some reason. Percy, as clueless as ever was trying to remain a straight face and Frank was struggling to keep on being the mature one.

Hour 10

Nico was adequately proud of himself- he didn't flirt with people often ( mainly because normally it was people flirting with him) but he couldn’t lie and say he wasn’t slightly nervous when he was walking towards the room of Katie Bryce and saw a man and woman at the desk- Nico presumed they were married due to the wedding rings they wore.

 “Katie Bryce, Room 3604?” Nico asked the couple. They nodded eagerly and the 3 adults had a quick conversation where Nico informed them that he wasn’t Katies actual doctor, but still was a doctor, and that he would go and find said doctor. Nico, who didn’t actually know who Katie’s doctor was now, had to verbally tell himself to not panic and he managed to figure out that he should ask Dr. Chase (he prayed she wasn’t sleeping). Luckily, Dr Chase was charting at the nurses station and when she heard his meek footsteps approaching, her head snapped up and she raised an eyebrow.

“Katie Bryce’s parents want to speak with the head on the case. Shall I page Dr. Zhang?” 

“Dr Zhang? No, this patient belongs to Neuro now- Dr Jackson, he’s right around the corner.” Annabeth flicked her pen towards her boyfriend who was speaking to two other attendings- who Nico recognised to be Dr Mclean and Dr Ramirez. He waved over to Percy who smiled and dismissed the two doctors before making his way over to Nico and throwing his arm around Nico’s shoulders while ruffling his hair. Nico did not allow the gesture from anyone but felt comforted by it from Percy.

“Percy!”  Nico almost squealed as Percy rubbed his knuckles into Nico’s head keeping him in a loose headlock.

“Death! I haven’t seen you in ages! How has it been?” Percy smiled as he began walking them towards the hallway. Nico cringed slightly from the nickname. Death was not something you want to be called at a hospital, especially if you were a doctor.

“Oh you know, Chase is tough but she knows what she’s doing.”

“She better, she learnt from the best,” Percy said proudly, pointing towards himself. Nico took this as an opportunity to lower Percy’s ego and asked

“Chiron?”

“You smug little-” Percy was cut off by Nico’s shrieks and protests to stop as Percy tickled him. Was it evil of Percy to tickle Nico? Perhaps, especially since he knew that Nico was one of the most ticklish people to ever exist.

Hour 15

Interns filtered into the viewing box above the operating room- they were all excited to watch one of them perform the first surgery. Jason, however, was terrified. He was muttering the basics of the procedure again and again as the crowd filtered in above him. If he made one mistake, everyone would see it, everyone would know and he would become the intern who couldn’t cut.

“Open, identify, ligate, remove, irrigate, close. Open, identify, ligate, remove, irrigate, close,” he muttered continuously, his eyes scrunched shut in fear.

Meanwhile, in the overhead viewing box, interns started placing bets. Sure, everyone was excited that an intern was assisting but they were also bitter. It would be a lie to tell you that no one in that room had thought that they should be down there operating room instead of Dr Grace. As Nico came in, he was slightly surprised to hear people making bets- sure, Jason had taken the surgery from them but betting? Was that really necessary? Especially since they were betting on his demise rather than him succeeding.

“30 dollars if he can’t open the peritoneum.”

“35 if he faints, he seems like a fainter.”

“40 says he kills the guy.”

“50 says he pulls off the whole thing,” Nico, who was sick of hearing the interns bet, cut in, “That's one of us in there- where’s your loyalty?”  Nico had grown up with a loyal best friend- Percy- so if he valued anything in a person it was loyalty. He watched as poor Jason moved his lips, mumbling the procedure. He really hoped Jason didn’t butcher this- he had kind of put his trust in him over here. Jason turned to the nurses as they performed the time- out- reciting the patient's name, sex and other vital information such as the actual surgery- an appendectomy . 

“Scalpel,” Jason ordered his hand reaching towards the nurse. As soon as it made contact with Jason’s hand, the interns went wild. The interns were cheering, clapping and whistling. It was official, Jason was the first intern to pick up a scalpel on a live patient. Even Nico joined in on the cheering, leaning back slightly in his seat and clapping- that was until Dr Zhang turned towards the interns and mimicked silence. The interns understood- Dr Grace does not need distractions. 

“That Zhang is trouble,” Hazel muttered, biting her lip gently. Nico, trying to resist a smirk, leaned over and whispered,

“Hazel’s got a crush.”  

Hazel, as chill as ever (sarcasm intended), pinched Nico’s arm making him flinch, pout and then rub gently at his slightly reddened flesh. Jason was trying to concentrate- he had never thought that one would have to apply so much pressure to cut into human flesh so of course, he hesitated a bit. However, once he was through, he started to find it a bit easier.

“Pickups…. Clamps,” he ordered.

“Dammit, he got through the peritoneum, I’m out,” the intern who betted on Jason admitted defeat as Jason continued.

“Scalpel….. And Appendix is out!”

Despite Dr Zhang's previous warnings, the interns went wild. Jason did it, he actually did it. Nico could see all the interns freaking out and while he was truly happy for Jason, he knew that he hadn’t finished. He had to close and celebrating too early may jinx him. Dr Zhang, who didn’t mind the interns celebrating, began to instruct Jason on his remaining steps.

“Now all you have to is insert the stump into the cecum and simultaneously pull the up on the purse strings, but be careful not to-” Frank was cut of by the distinct sound of sutures snapping- a sound which caused the silence of everyone and echoed 

“- Break them,” Frank finished his sentence, sighing. He wouldn’t lie and say that he didn’t expect this but he hoped that the intern would fix his mistake quickly. He watched as Jason struggled nervously. Jason himself didn’t even know what he had just done- all he could replay in his head was the snapping sound and the feeling of the suture breaking. The loss of tension in his hand as he accidently pulled too hard. Out of all the useful knowledge he had, it was that recent memory that just kept on replaying in Jason’s head.

“You’ve just ripped the cecum, you’ve got yourself a bleeder! What do you do now?” Dr Zhang tried to encourage him but it was no use. Nico watched as Jason froze.

Damn it Jason come on! Alas, Nico couldn’t help but think, Jason was like a deer in headlights- Bambi. Jason didn’t know how to react- what did he do now? He hadn’t considered the possibility if the sutures snapped. 

“Think- You stop the suctions and start searching for those purse strings before he bleeds to death,” Dr Zhang instructed, his voice the only clear thing in the room other than the drastic beeping coming from the monitor. Nico could feel everybody in the room holding their breath- this moment was either going to make or break Jason.

“Give him a clamp,” Dr Zhang ordered.

“BP’s dropping,” a nurse warned. The interns watched with anxiety for their fellow intern- Jason was frozen, his hands stuck mid-air. 

“BP is getting too low.”   

Finally Dr Zhang had to make a decision and he held his hand out to the nurses,  

“Move. Suction and Clamps.”  

The interns all groaned, throwing their heads back or burying their heads between their hands. Money was passed around and Nico could only feel pity for the blond boy who looked like bambi in the operating room. As interns began to leave, people began to whisper.

“He’s a 007.”   

“Yeah! Totally a 007.”

“What’s 007?” Juniper looked around, slightly confused. Nico, morbid as ever, kept his eyes trained on the surgeon operating as he told Juniper.

“License to kill.”

Hour 19

Jason sat in a wheelchair (that he most likely did not want to know where it had been) as he rolled the wheels back and forth complaining. He still couldn’t believe that he had frozen up like that. Not only that but he knew what the consequences of it was now. 

“Everyone is calling me 007,” He complained, still embarrassed from his poor performance. Nico and Meg- both of whom were sick of his whining- answered at the same time.

“No one is calling you 007.”

“Really? A dude in the elevator whispered 007 and everyone started laughing!”

“007 is a state of mind,” Hazel called out as she waited by the old vending machine. It waited a bit too long for Hazel’s patience and thus she gave it a light kick to keep it going.

“Says the girl who finished first in her class at Stanford,” Jason retorted, pushing his glasses further up the bridge of his nose. Nico was enjoying this mindless banter, it was the first break he had in a while and it was relaxing to be able to not have to think critically for once. Of course, because fate hated Nico in particular, Nico’s pager beeped causing him to groan and accidentally bang his head as he pulled out his pager, causing his eyes to widen.

“Ah, fuck. Someone is paging me 911 on Katie Bryce, gotta go!” 

Nico hopped off the spare stretcher he was on and practically ran towards the stairs desperate to get the patient's room. As Nico left, he let out a small snort of laughter for he heard Jason mumble,

“I should have gone into geriatrics- nobody minds when you kill an old person.”

Nico gasped for air as he walked into room 3604 and saw a perfectly healthy and fine Kate Bryce. What the hell? Did she lose the ability to talk? Because that wasn’t a 911, that was a thank the gods. He looked around for any crash cart or indicator that there was actually anything wrong with her.

“There’s nothing wrong with you?” He panted, feeling his anger bubble up. Katie simply shrugged, twirling her platinum blond hair that looked dyed. 

“I’m bored.” 

Nico gasped and face palmed- he just could not with this girl! Would giving her an early death count as breaking the hippocratic oath? Man, he really wanted to punch Hippocrates- making doctors swear a damn oath on Apollo! 

“This is a hospital, people are dying, people who actually require a doctor's help! Go to sleep,” Nico explained, his voice raising slightly due to the interruption of his very calming break- he considered hearing Jason complain better than any sort of time spent with this patient. Katie, however, did not want to comply with what was being asked of her.

“I can’t sleep, my heads all full!” Katie whined slightly, throwing her head back softly against the propped up pillows. 

“That's called thinking, go with it, maybe you’ll learn something new.”

Hour 21

 Annabeth was happy right now. In this moment as she and Percy lay snuggled up against each other cuddling in the on call rooms, Annabeth was happy. She had to catch up on her sleep and Percy was a neurosurgeon- his surgeries were tiring and required him to be well rested (something that never happened either way) for him to perform at his best ability. She could hear Percy’s heart thumping under her ear as she lay with her head on his chest and one of her legs thrown on top of his. The sound and vibrations were comforting, relaxing, easing her to sleep- she was happy.

Juniper did not feel so happy right now. She was standing at the nurses station staring at the on - call room that she knew Dr Chase to be in. As she stood by the nurses station, a nurse leaning on the desk asked her what she wanted. 

“Mr Anderson has chunky veins, he needs antibiotics and I should start a central line,” Juniper admitted, looking away. The nurse, not even glancing up from his chart simply told her,

“Then start one…” 

Juniper's silence told him what he needed to know.

“...And you don’t know how to. You know what that means.” The nurse nodded his head towards the on call room where Dr Chase resided. Juniper had to physically restrain herself to stop herself from shivering. She was about to break Rule 3. She peeked her head into the dark on call room where she initially thought she was about to accidentally become scarred for life. However, what she saw surprised her. Dr Chase was soundfully asleep next to Dr Jackson. Their arms were intertwined with each other and Dr Jackson had one arm wrapped around Dr Chase’s waist. They looked so peaceful, Juniper was so tempted to walk out and just let Mr Anderson get a nice trip to the morgue but she didn’t want to end up being called something like 007. She took a deep breath.   

“Dr chase, I don’t mean to bother you-”

“-Then don’t,” Annabeth snapped. She did not want to leave Percy, he was so warm and she wanted her damned sleep.

“It’s Mr Anderson,” Juniper started explaining.

“Is he dying?”

“No.” 

“Then stop talking to me.” Annabeth rolled over so that her back was towards Juniper. Juniper cleared her throat slightly which caused Percy to jerk his arm. Annabeth huffed, clearly agitated. 

“Next time you wake me, he better be so close to dead, there’s a tag on his toe.”

Hour 23

Nico was walking towards Katye Bryce’s room once again to check in on her. Hopefully, she had taken his advice and was soundly asleep by now. Yet, as Nico approached her room, he saw nurses running in and out of it- Nico picked up his pace until it was a run as he got into the room. Immediately, the nurses briefed him on what was going on.

“She’s having multiple Grand Mal seizures, now, how do you want to proceed? Dr Di Angelo, are you listening? We’ve given her diazepam, 2 milligrams of  Lorazepam- we just gave a second dose- Dr Di Angelo, you need to tell us what you want us to do!”

Nico was frozen. What in the name of Hades had happened while he was gone? He began to filter his thoughts-find out what's in her system and proceed from there. 

“You gave her lorazepam?” he asked.

“Yep, 4 milligrams.”      

“You’ve paged Chase and Jackson?”  He pushed.    

“Lorazepam isn’t working!”

“Phenobarbital, 2 milligrams,” He blurted, remembering the drug from a chemistry quiz he had gotten completely correct due to Bianca’s old notes.       

“Heart’s stopped!” a nurse called out. Nico’s brain called out Code Blue, Code Blue! But his mouth could not move. What was he doing? He normally acted on immediately in emergency situations- they were practically his reflexes. He had to focus. He closed his eyes for a second.

Focus Nico, focus- this girl is literally dead. 

His eyes snapped open- he was still panicking but now that he had a second to think, he had a vague idea of what to do.

“Okay, start compressions- grab the crash cart. Charge the pads to 200.” Nico turned his head towards the nurse operating the charge value on the defibrillator.  

“Clear!”

Katie Bryce’s jolted upwards, but her heart did not return to normal. The nurse opposite to Nico continued compressions on her body while the other nurse held an ambu bag to her face, squeezing it every 5 seconds to provide air for her lungs. 

“Still V-Fib, no change,” the nurse commented. 

“Charge to 300.”

“27 seconds since the heart stopped,” another Nurse informed.

 “Charge to 360, C’mon Katie. Clear!” Nico waited to see if her heart would react.

“ Okay, restarting compressions,” He ordered as he tried to think of the next step in running a code.

“49 seconds since the heart stopped.”

“Charge again, Clear!”

Everyone in the room waited anxiously as the monitor returned to beeping normally. 

“Sinus Rhythm.”

A collective sigh of relief was let out as people started filtering out.

 at the hell happened?” Percy asked as he speed walked into the room. He couldn’t help feeling a bit useless as he found his patient that was dying only seconds ago, alive and well- only it wasn’t him who had saved her, it was Dr Di Angelo.

“She had a seizure and her heart stopped,” Nico explained, sighing gently now that Percy was here. 

“You were supposed to be monitoring her.” Percy turned around to face Nico. Nico was not expecting the accusatory tone- sure he wasn’t expecting clap on the back either but a Oh hey for keeping her alive while I took ages to show up would have been nice. Nico had known Percy all his life but despite that, he had never seen such a cold, turned off side of him. Was this how doctors or surgeons did their jobs? Become cold to everyone around them? Nico tried to explain himself- the key word there being tried.

“I-”

“-Just go, I’ve got her now.” Dr Jackson batted his hand and Nico was dismissed. Nico felt dismissed. Was this the life of an intern? Being blamed for every small inconvenience so the attendings can feel less guilt on their backs? Nico didn’t do anything wrong- he followed protocol, just as he had been told. He ran the code and continually paged Dr Chase and Dr Jackson. Them not showing up was the issue here, not him. He had saved her life. Not them.

Nico’s mind felt dead. He was 23 hours into a 48 hour shift and already, he was feeling the pressure. Too much pressure- was there a point to this? Was there a point to any of this? Nico dragged his feet across the floor, trying to find the exit.

“When you get a 911, you page me immediately. If someone dies, it’s on my ass. You hear me? Di Angelo?” Dr Chase raised an eyebrow at the intern who practically ignored them as they walked to the exit door, ignoring everything around them. The interns, Jason and Hazel both noticed his abnormally pale face and dazed expression. Hazel, being the concerned sister she was, followed Nico as he started to gain speed towards the exit.

“Nico, are you okay?”She reached her arm out but Nico made no notice of her. He could feel his stomach become more and more uneasy. He leant against a pole with one hand and quickly threw up his lunch. He placed both of his hands on his thighs, remaining hunched over and trying to catch his breath. As he walked back towards the hospital, intending to go and wash his mouth out, he caught Hazel walking towards him with concern drawn all over her face.

“If you ever tell anyone…” Nico trailed off as he walked past her, entering the hospital again.

Hour 26

“You said it was a seizure disorder, now you’re saying it isn’t?” Mr Bryce, Katie’s father, asked with slight confusion. He stood by his wife's side, both his hands on his hips in a confrontive manner. 

“I’m saying that I don’t know. For now, I don’t have an answer for you. Now that Katie is stable-” Dr Jackson started explaining only to be cut off by the father.

“-We came here because this hospital is supposed to be the best in New York. That's my kid in there and you have the audacity to stand here and say I don’t know. I want someone else , a doctor that knows what they’re doing. A doctor better than you!”

“Mr Bryce, I can assure you that I’m working hard on Katie’s case-” Dr Jackson tried to keep himself calm. He was working hard but sometimes the body did things that science couldn’t explain. He was a doctor, a surgeon, not god. 

“- No, you’re not. If you were, you’d be able to give me some answers.”

Percy decided to leave the couple before he said something to them that he’d regret.

Dr Zhang was a calm, collected and highly skillful surgeon. He knew what he was doing as he explained the surgery to Mr Savitch.

“I put you on the bypass machine, which pumps blood for your heart, fix your ticker, take you off the machine- I’m done. Simple procedure.”

His wife -who was clutching her husband's hand so tightly her knuckles were turning white- asked Dr Zhang with a slightly relieved voice,

“So I have no reason to worry?”

“I’m very good at what I do but it’s still surgery- there are still some risks. I’ll see you in the Operating Room this afternoon Mr Savitch.” Frank waved his hand goodbye to the couple and left while Dr Grace stayed behind to reassure the patient.

“Dr Zhang is very good, you’ll be fine,” Jason confirmed.

“He’ll be fine right?” Mrs Savitch urged again, wanting a guarantee. Her eyes screamed Tell me my husband will live. Jason could not understand how she was feeling but he sympathised for her. He wanted to help her, he reminded him of his mother, a woman who worried often. 

“Tony’s gonna sail through it- You have nothing to worry about Gloria - I promise.”

Hour 30

Nico had no idea why he was here- in fact, he had no idea why any of the interns were here. They had all been called to the briefing room for a conference yet at no point had he been informed what exactly it was about. He glanced to his right to see Hazel holding sutures with a banana laying on her lap.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m suturing a banana with the vain hope that it wakes up my brain,” Hazel drawled her hand raising up to tighten the perfectly spaced sutures together- something Nico too had the talent for. Their heads both shot up as Dr Jackson, with Dr Chase beside him, walked in. Dr Solace also walked in, catching Nico’s eye as he leaned with his back on the door frame. 

“I’m gonna do something pretty rare for a surgeon. I’m gonna ask interns for help. Katie Bryce right now is a mystery- she isn't responding to medication. All the tests are clean but she’s having seizures, Grand mal seizures and we don’t know why. I need you to help me out,” all the interns sighed as Percy explained this. 

“I know you’re tired, I know you’re busy which is why I’m gonna give you an incentive. Whoever finds the answer rides with me. Katie needs surgery- you get to do what no intern does. You get to scrub in to assist on an advanced procedure. Annabeth- I mean- Dr Chase will hand out the chart- The clock is ticking people. Let’s save a life,” Percy weakly smiled as he saw the eager interns scrambling for the files and gave Nico a wink as he left the room. Nico had to look down at his shoes to not blush- his crush on Percy had subsided years ago but what are you meant to do when people wink at you? 

Will decided to tag along to the intern conference being held by Dr Jackson- he’d get a chance to see the interns working under incredible amounts of pressure and have a look at potential residents to take under his wing as trauma residents. At least, that's what he told himself. In reality, he had wanted to see the Italian doctor who had the guts to flirt with him and then invite him to bed. Was Will offended? Of course! Did this intern think he was that easy? While Will told himself that wasn’t easy, a small part of his subconscious told him that him showing up to the intern conference for one gorgeous man proved otherwise.

As Nico left the conference room, Hazel jogged to catch up with him- though Nico didn’t know why she was jogging, she had much longer legs than him.

“Hey, I want in on Jackson’s surgery- you've been the intern on her case since the start- you want to work together? If we find the answer, we have a 50/50 chance of scrubbing in ,” She offered. 

“Sure, but I want in on the surgery.” Nico shrugged.

“So do I.”

“May the best surgeon scrub in,” Nico held out his hand for Hazel to shake. The game was on. 

The locker room was full of several other interns- all of whom were re-reading Katie’s chart as if their lives depended on it. Hazel and Nico were hunched together by their lockers- which were co-incidentally placed next to each other. There were 6 empty cups of coffee- 4 were Hazels and 2 were Nico’s. Rainbow sweet strips, Nico’s pick of course, were also present- Hazel had to beg Nico for a pack as he had 3 to himself. Nico was so used to staying up for unnecessarily long hours that he didn’t need as much caffeine to keep himself acting like a live human being, unlike his sister.

“So she doesn't have anoxia, chronic renal failure or acidosis. It’s not a tumor because the CT was clean,” Hazel confirmed.

“What about infection?” Nico suggested as he savagely bit into a rainbow gummy strip, ripping it away from his face causing sugar sprinkles to fly everywhere. Hazel shot him a look as she brushed them off her scrubs.

“No , there’s no white count, she has no C.T lesions, no fevers, nothing in her spinal tap.”

“What about an aneurysm?” 

“No blood on the C.T, no headaches, no drug use, no pregnancy, no trauma. Nico, what if this girl dies?”

“This is gonna sound really bad but I really wanted that surgery,” Nico confessed before continuing, “Her pageant talent is rhythmic gymnastics. What even is rhythmic gymnastics? I can’t even say it properly, I don’t know what it is!” 

“Oh come on, they have pageant talents?” Hazel started snorting with laughter with Nico joining only a mere matter of seconds later.  Rhythmic gymnastics- a totally odd and dangerous pageant talent. Why not go with knitting, there’s a less chance of falling. 

A less chance of falling. 

Nico’s brain raced- something about that was relevant- vital even. Why did that sound so important?

 Nico shot up, grabbing his sister by the arm. He thought he knew what was wrong with Katie.   

“Get up, come on. Come on!” Nico whisper- shouted as he grabbed Hazel who asked him what the hell he was on about. He told her about Katie’s fall during practise for rhythmic gymnastics when she had sprained her ankle- the chance of a small aneurysm to form.

“The only thing that she would possibly need is an angiogram,” Hazel realised as they both rushed out to find Dr Jackson. They found him in the elevator ,alone, and just as the door started closing, Hazel stuck her hand in the way of the door. Immediately she started talking.

“She has no headaches, no neck pain, her C.T is clean- there’s no medical proof of an aneurysm but what if she has one anyway?”

“How?” Percy questioned, slightly confused.

 “You see she twisted her ankle and fell. Just a bump on her head. It was so minor that her primary care doctor didn’t think to mention it in her history but there's a chance, right, Perce?” Nico almost begged, using the childhood nickname he used to call Percy, that he used to call his best friend. That is what he was doing at that moment- asking for his best friend to listen, not Dr Jackson.

“You know there’s a one in a million chance of that, literally,” Percy sighed, shaking his head. The siblings hung their heads as the situations settled- their diagnosis was getting shut down or so they thought it was. The lift opened and there stood Percy smiling. He waved his hands, signalling them to follow him. 

“Let's go find out if Katie is one in a million.”

Hazel and Nico were both silent as they waited in the cath lab- this was it for them. Either they become a pair of fools and Nico would tarnish the Di Angelo name or they get to be the first interns out of their year to assist on an advanced procedure. Percy stood with his arms folded, his black hair tousled and his jaw muscle ticking like crazy- Nico could also see that he was stressed although who for, Nico could not tell. 

“I’ll be damned. It's minor but it’s there- a subarachnoid hemorrhage. She’s bleeding into her brain,” Percy gasped slightly as he pointed his pen to the small black blobs on the screen. As they left the Cath Lab, Hazel and Nico were ready. They wanted to know who was getting the surgery- sure, they had agreed that the best surgeon would win but secretly, they had both hoped that they’d both be able to scrub it. 

“Uh, Dr Jackson, you said that the intern who brought the diagnosis would be able to scrub in,” Hazel gently reminded, her eyes hopeful and full of yearning.

“Unfortunately, I can’t have you both so Nico, you’re scrubbing in.”

Nico was over the moon- His first surgery was going to be with Percy and he was going to assist! However Hazel both looked and felt distraught. She knew she should feel more happy for her brother but she couldn’t help but feel a slight sliver of jealousy that he had only been chosen because Nico and Percy were childhood friends. As Nico turned around to apologise for her, he saw that she had already left without him.

Hour 34

Jason was in the scrub room waiting for Dr Zhang to finish up the surgery on Mr Savitch. Was he nervous? Of course, but he was also confident in Dr Zhang's skills as a surgeon. He was sipping a soda while charting, leaning with his back to the operating room- he didn’t want to get distracted by the surgery happening behind him. The door swung open with a Whack and Dr Zhang walked in, looking dejected. 

“That was quick, wow!” Jason said admirably- he knew Dr Zhang was good, but he didn’t think he could complete a surgery like that so fast!

“He didn’t make it. His heart had too much damage to get him off bypass- I had to let him go. It’s rare but it happens. It’s the worst part of the game,” Frank confessed as he washed his hands and splashed water onto his face, making him feel slightly more alive. Unlike Jason who swore his extremities went numb. 

This couldn’t be, right? Surely this was a prank- everyone would play a prank on him, he was the 007! He would walk into the operating room and see the nurses preparing to move him back to the ICU for post surgery care. Yes, yes that’s what this was- a whole prank. Dr Zhang was probably punishing him for almost killing a person in surgery and this was his equivalent of karma. Despite the idea, when Jason turned around, he regretted everything he saw. There was blood on the floor,the patient was still wide open, the heart monitor which was still attached to the patient showed no sign of cardiac activity. Jason could feel a lump in his throat, a lump that he just couldn’t swallow. Hos throat was dry and there were tears pricking at the corner of his eyes as he attempted to speak.

“B..but I told his wife Gloria that he would be fine- I promised her tha-”

“You what? The only person who can give a promise like that is God and I haven’t seen him holding a scalpel lately. You never promise a patient's family a good outcome!”Frank, in a rare moment of no self control, lashed out. Jason, who realised his mistake, decided to leave Dr Zhang to mourn what he considered his failure and inform the family of their greatest loss.

Frank slumped over the sink in the scrub room, rubbing at his head. He had never failed something so simple, how did he not foresee this? His fists clenched and relaxed as his mind went over the events of the surgery- he had never felt so much like a failure in his life as he did in this moment right now. 

As Jason approached the family, he could see their cheerful, happy faces, completely unaware of the soul- crashing news that he was about to bring them. Gloria ,who noticed him on instinct, immediately smiled wider- she thought she was going to go see her husband now. His kids had no idea what was about to happen to their lives. Jason still had the lump in his throat that was only getting bigger. He had to swallow several times which was a struggle because of his dry throat. 

“How is he?” Gloria rushed her words out and it seemed she seemed more excited than nervous. Jason swallowed heavily before starting.

 “Gloria, there were complications regarding your husband's surgery. Tony’s heart had a lot of damage. We tried to take him off bypass but- there wasn’t anything we could have done.”

Jason’s hands wrung back and forth as he struggled to keep his eyes from watering. He could feel them stinging as he fought back the tears of his betrayal

Gloria’s face scrunched up before slowly falling. Jason could see how her face slowly morphed from one of pure happiness to one of panic and distraught but Jason could also see the hope in her eyes.

“What are you talking about?” Gloria’s voice broke slightly, her lip curling.

“Tony died. He’s dead… Gloria, I am so sorry.” Jason reached out to comfort her, his hand reaching to stroke her back only for Gloria to completely flinch away from his touch. Betrayal illustrated her face and Jason couldn’t bear to continue looking her in the eye.

“Please, go away.” 

Jason had undergone a lot of tough, painful situations to become a doctor and yet, this is what broke him.

Hour 40

Percy was shaving Katie’s head, watching the blond tufts of hair fall off her face. Nico walked in, smirking as he leant against the door. On noticing Nico’s presence, he began to whisper, 

“I promised to give her a cool haircut. Apparently it’s a scandal to be a bald beauty queen.”

“Ah, well, I would totally pull it off..” Nico reached towards his hair and pushed it back slightly. Percy laughed slightly and nodded in agreement before they fell into a comfortable silence- the only sound being the buzzing from the electric razor. Nico watched Percy with admiration in eyes and Percy would look up at him every once in a while with a genuine smile that made his eyes crease.

Will was watching Percy and Nico hanging out in room 3604, an odd feeling of spite towards Percy starting to form. He didn’t know why- Percy had always been a good friend to him, helping him earn the respect of his peers. He watched as Nico watched Percy and suddenly felt the urge to accept Nico’s offer. 

“I do hope that you aren’t staring at Di Angelo,” Leo walking up behind him commented dryly. 

“Lover boy, you can’t really talk. Last time I checked, you seemed to be physically unable to keep your eyes off Calypso,” Will muttered in response. Leo gasped in mock offense before laughing. 

“Awww, are you two sharing ‘we are going to single forever’ moment?” Piper cooed. Will grunted slightly - while Piper defended Will in public she totally teased him when there weren’t as many people and as for her and Leo- well they had known each other since they were teenagers. 

“I’d like to escape the single lot, thank you for the offer though, pipes,” Frank sighed as he joined the group of them. His mood was still down due to losing his patient- he couldn’t help feel overwhelming guilt for not saving a patient with such an easy procedure. 

Percy came out of the room, chatting away with Nico before he spotted the group of attendings who were all staring at them. He raised an eyebrow at all of them, especially since they weren’t trying to be subtle in any way.

“Yall, get back to work.”

The operating room was a tad warm. Or maybe that was Nico sweating due to his nervous nature. He couldn’t afford to screw up here, he had made it so far in only a few hours and had worked hard. Dr Jackson walked in with his trident and sea print scrub cap on his head before he looked around the room.

“All right everybody. Are we ready? Okay, Scalpel,” He held his hand out as he ordered a scalpel into his hand. Nico who was on his tip- toes to see what was going on for he was not sure if he could come any closer- neurosurgeons were scary people sometimes. Percy, who was ecstatic and in a great mood, gestured for Nico to come closer. 

“Nico, come take a look. Your sister would absolutely love this,” Percy gushed and for once, Nico completely agreed as he looked at a live human brain.

Hour 48

It was finally time to head out. Nico was relieved- his eyeliner ,which was perfectly done the morning he came in, needed re-applying and he wanted to put his heeled boots back on. He was sick of everyone being taller than him. He was in the locker room after finishing the surgery and quickly he changed. He felt much better once he was back in his own clothes. Black ripped jeans, fingerless gloves, Ramone t-shirt and his beloved heeled boots.  He stood in the mirror finishing off his eyeliner as Hazel walked in.

“We don’t have to do the thing where I say something and then you do and then somebody cries and then there’s a moment-” she started

“Yuck,” Nico cut in. Hazel smiled ever so slightly but Nico noticed it, causing him to attempt to repress a smile. The key word there being attempt. 

 “Good.”

Nico was looking for Percy- he wanted to thank him for the amazing surgery and for picking him to scrub in. He was about to enter the on call room that he assumed Percy to be in when he accidentally walked into someone. That someone just so happened to be Dr Solace. Except he was shirtless.

Why the fuck was he shirtless? Is there someone in there with him? Oh my god, was I hitting on a straight dude?

“Ah, sorry about that. I was changing when I realised my clean clothes were in my locker,” Will confessed sheepishly as he rubbed the back of his head. But Nico wasn’t really paying attention to anything that came out his mouth but rather his lips. Wait, why was he shirtless again? Nico had an internal panic for about 2 seconds before he pulled himself together and remembered his objective around Dr Solace.

“If  I’m correct Solace, that surgery went very well,” Nico smirked. 

If your first surgery goes well, then feel free to send that draft out again.

Nice one Nico, you got this.

Will opened his mouth, slightly in shock that Nico had still remembered that by now- sure it was 41 hours ago but most interns just wanted to sleep  by now. But This was a Di Angelo he was talking about- surgery ran in their blood.

“Well congratulations. I caught the draft. What are you going to do about it, Di Aneglo?” Will challenged quite confidently, Nico’s surname rolling off his tongue.  Nico started walking towards him, backing him into the oncall room. The second they were both in there, Nico’s hand reached behind him and locked the door with a flick of his wrist. 

“Copy me,” Nico told Will. He raised one of his arms and then the other, watching as Will copied, slightly confused by the random motion. He then put both his hands together above his head and the second Will copied, Nico pinned Will’s hands above his head with a single hand and smiled wickedly. Will, adequately impressed, leaned his head forward to kiss Nico who obliged.

Explosions. 

That's what Nico felt. He wasn’t expecting Will to be such a good kisser. The kiss was soft at first, their breath dancing across each other's lips but became more heated as Will tried to shift his hands out of Nico’s reach. Nico, being stubborn as he was, refused.  Will bit Nico’s lip gingerly, teasing him as he pulled his lip back slightly between his teeth- the second Nico groaned gently, Will used all the momentum he had to flip them and press Nico against the door, holding one of his wrists in his hand. He reached to grab the other and hold it above Nico’s head as their lips smashed. When Will finally pulled back for air, he started making light butterfly kisses onto Nico’s jawline, making his way down to Nico’s neck. He gently sank his teeth and lightly sucked on the flesh there, making Nico throw his head back and let out a light moan. 

Nico decided that he could thank Percy for the surgery later.

Hazel was waiting for Nico. She was outside the hospital and was watching as all the other interns were leaving and finally he arrived. His clothes were a mess- crumpled, his t- shirt was completely inside out and there was a bruise on his neck.  Hazel had no idea what had happened and honestly, she didn’t want to. Nico waved to her, pulling out a cigarette from his pocket and lighting it.

“Finally! Gosh, we need to go if you want to get there on time!” Hazel fussed.

 Annabeth and Percy were holding hands as they chatted away with Piper and Reyna- their faces all in an animated conversation despite being awake for 48 hours. 

“And then I totally clipped that aneurysm,” Percy boasted, swinging Annabeth's hand up in the air with his. 

Frank was meant to be paying attention to the conversation he was supposed to be having with Leo- who was excitedly talking about the life saving surgery that he did with Calypso as the Peds and OB department had to team up for that case. However, Frank was actually looking at Hazel as he started telling off Nico for the smoking near a hospital. 

“It was a really cool case- the mother was teen in the third trimester which meant Peds had to work with OB. The baby had a tight nuchal cord so the delivery had to be performed by C- section so we could safely clamp and cut off the umbilical cord,” Leo ranted.

Thalia was rustling the blond hair of her younger brother as they got into a car, talking about their days. 

“Who cares, 007 was totally badass!” Thalia told her brother as she started the car. Piper waved goodbye to Percy, Annabeth and Reyna, and leaned against one of stumps while she waited for Will. When Will finally arrived, his hair was an absolute mess and he had a few buttons of his shirt undone which gave view for a bruise blooming on his collarbone. Piper decided not to make much comment of it as they both started walking away. Will turned his head to see Nico one more time, only to see him laughing and kissing the head of a girl with dark skin and beautiful curly hair. Terror and unease immediately set within him. 

Did I just help him cheat on his girlfriend? 

Will decided to push the thought to the back of his mind as he left the hospital.

Nico was stalling. He knew it and so did Hazel. She had pulled up at the nursing home but he was still drumming his fingers on his lap as he sat in the car. After 10 minutes of pure silence, Nico got out of the car, the only sound made being the soft closing of the car door. He walked up the steps before entering the home. It was well lit, elegant and classy- he knew if Bianca was lucid that she’d love it here. He walked towards the window seat, knowing that she always loved to sit there. He took a gentle seat next to her, waiting for her to  notice him  nearby. When she finally acknowledged him, she looked at him and up and down, slightly confused.

“Are you the doctor?”Bianca asked, her eyes wide.

“No, I’m not your doctor but I am a doctor,” Nico attempted a smile but it failed with corners of his lips falling slightly. Biance wrung her hands back and forth, fidgeting with them subconsciously. The nails that used to be flawless were now chipped and bitten at.

 “What's your name?”she turned her head towards him, tilting it slightly as she looked her brother in the eye.

“It’s me, sis. It’s Nico,” He said half heartedly, his voice cracking as his eyes followed hers, trying to somehow get to her lucid mind. He saw her eyes. He saw her how they looked at him, how she didn’t recognise him. Her eyes, they weren’t the same golden brown that gleamed, they were glossy- as if there were clouds covering the clear sky.

“I think I used to be a doctor,” Bianca mused as she continued to rub her hands aggressively. Nico reached out to stop her, hoping she wouldn't flinch or become aggressive. He held her hand in his, enveloping his hand over hers and she accepted the gesture. Just for a second, Nico could see his sister again. 

“You were a doctor. You were a surgeon.”

[lovely-necromancy]

A Cure for Insomnia CH.5

A scream shocks you out of your fuzzy thoughts. You look around and notice Connor sitting alert and looking like he wants to run down the hallway this very instant.

“Connor?” the head snaps to you immediately and before you can even question his presence in your home he jumps up and barks then walks in circles near the door.

Great a dog who has no sense of horror movie tropes. Since the scream did come from inside your house you should go find the person who made it and see what's wrong. Also maybe get clarification on why they're in your home. You aren't dead and are still in the same clothes so you figure you're alright around them. You follow Connor to where Toby is, in your kitchen staring out the window standing at a very odd angle. Like he caught himself before he fell backwards but hadn't bothered to get up.

“What's up....oh.” is all you can say as you see Chonk's head whip towards you and Connor before he books it for the tree line. Damn that fat raccoon can run fast, good to know if he ever wants to chase you down in the future. Which he might if you don't leave his slice of pizza out today.

“'oh' 'oh', that's all yo-you've got to say about a giant fuck-ing ra-mrrow- raccoon!?!” maybe thinking this guy was composed and unphased was a misconception, if seeing Chonk has put his world views in question.

“I mean he probably just eats a lot of pizza.” to put it simply you never gave much thought to the fat little trash thief, he was just fat and he existed. Visiting your home for the slice he deemed his every other week. Probably had other homes in Kepler he terrorized for the same reasons. God knows Leo would never put up with a raccoon trashing his store for his pizza. Or even his home for that matter.

“He's nearly half the size of Connor!” looking down towards Connor you tilt your head.

“Are we talking about with his legs or just his torso?” you could maybe see the size comparison with the dog's body but with his height it was a different matter all together.

Toby rolls his eyes before going and sitting down at the small breakfast table where he seemed to have found your fidget cube and had been well fidgeting with it. You take the seat opposite of him, it's weird having a guest over especially when you didn't invite them in. Well now that removes the chances of him being a vampire you suppose.

Perfect not a kidnapper, nor a vampire, and he's helped you out twice now. The two of you might well be on your way to becoming best friends. That is if he could get past this episode of yours.

“I still don't know what happened last night, but I'm done with the freak out.” you say as you idly pet Connor.

“...What?” he's squinting at you trying to get a read on how anyone bounces back from something like that so calmly in a matter of hours. Especially when he'd been checking up on you and Connor only to see you still staring off into space.

“Oh, uh... I have Autism. Isn't good for much but helps me rationalize events quicker and move past emotional and mental breakdowns pretty quick too.”

“Is that an Autism thing?” you shrug at his question as he jerks his shoulders forwards a few times.

“Probably more of a me thing, but I've read the trait tends to be more common in those of us who are neurodivergent.”

You hear a murmur of telling someone later later. Filing that away to take note of another day you stare at Toby who in turn stares back. This goes on for a bit, you couldn't even classify it as a staring contest since you are both still blinking occasionally. You aren't really sure if you should say 'thank you' first and then ask the man what he's doing in your home or wait for him to break the silence. But as you stare at Toby, into his eyes, you get the feeling this man is more of a zombie than anything else. The type to drag along and go at a snails pace rather than get into the messy bits in one go...ironic choice for comparison.

“Thank you for driving me home...but why are you still here?” you hear a huff of laughter?

“You weren't really in a position...” knuckles pop “to be left alone. What if you got back into your car again?” his eyes cut and there's a bit of bite to his words...it wasn't directed towards you, you can feel that much.

“Fair enough.” you glance at the stove and see the clock shine a little before six. “Would you like some breakfast” his neck snaps to the left triggering your own to snap as well, “or a ride home?” you finish asking.

“Can you make something for Connor too? Don't trust you behind the wheel yet.”

“Oh sure! What does he normally eat?” Perking up at the thought of the dog being off duty, that means actual pets!

“He-mrrow- normally gets oatmeal with some fruit or veg and anything raw I can find.” He finishes with a whistle for Connor's attention, and then a pointed finger flipping down in front of him. The dog trots over and sits down, while Toby takes off the vest you look through your cupboards to find the rolled oats you'd gotten as incentive to eat in the mornings before realizing you only liked them on certain days.

“So what does Tobias normally eat?” you call out as you look for some honey you know you threw in the cupboards.

“Anything really. I don't do slimy textures or anything watery.”

“Watery? Like soups?” Found a can of pumpkin, it's still in date too, perfect.

“Watery like...when you put too much water in oatmeal.” He nods when you silently show him the can of pumpkin asking if that'd be fine for his boy, who is sitting down drooling from his smiling face as Toby tussles his ears.

“Ahhh, thin watery got it.” You hear movement and a few grunts from Toby as you assume he tics, trying to ignore them so they won't trigger your own you look through the fridge. You suddenly take a deep breath, while looking for a meat in your fridge, and let out a shrill trill. Kinda sounds like a Togepi's cry from the cartoon. Shaking your head your eyes catch the eggs and turkey sausages you have.

“Will turkey sausage and eggs work for you two?”

“Never had turkey sausage but it should be fine.” he's leaning forward resting his head in his arms on the table as Connor lays by his bouncing feet.

You set the eye to medium heat and put the sausages on first, leaving three out for Connor. He is a big dog after all. You turned your focus on preparing Connor's oatmeal while the sausages cooked. It was kinda nice having company over even though the circumstances weren't the best. Your neck jerks to the side three times before pulling back. There's more on the way your neck didn't crack and your body doesn't let up until it does.

“So what disorder do you have?” You turn to give Toby a confused look you hope he can read through your mask.

“...I have a few..you want the list?”

“No, the tics. Lower level Tourettes or what?”

“Oh, they stem from my” head jerking twice to the side before cracking “there we go.” “Sorry, they stem from my Autism, at least that's the best I can gather without seeing a specialist. Virginia doctors suck big time.”

“Tell me about it.” that perks you right up, you knew you caught a transatlantic accent, it's pretty much the lack of an accent that gives Virginians away so easily. You already have two guesses on where Toby came from.

“I knew it, you're from Halifax aren't you?!” Since you've turned around to face him you see the exact moment his face drops. Eyes shocked wide open.

“How...did”

“Oh it's easy once you know what to listen for, in fact it was the total lack of any distinguishing accent or use of slang that gave you a way. A lot of people don't notice what they take from their communities linguistically speaking. And for us Virginians it's what we don't take. It's such a bland neutral midpoint it's why it had been so coveted during the radio era and while we might've lost the in-fluctuations as time went by, no longer needing them for our voices to be heard over various frequencies....am I talking too much you can tell me to shut up, really you won't hurt my feelings.” you give Toby a minute to process everything you've just said.

“Special interest?”

“mmm, more a...an interesting factoid.” you hope he registers your smile, hell you hope he doesn't think you're weird. You know how much you can be sometimes, especially when you info dump or overshare information. He manages to nod along with you before finding his voice again.

“Lemme guess NOVA?”

“Pfft, seriously.” you really need him to at least register the disgust on your face if he hasn't been able to read you before, “Listen the Beach isn't much better but I'd probably off myself if I was from NOVA.”

“A public service really.”

You both stare at each other before breaking into a fit of laughter. It's nothing huge but it does seem to put Toby more at ease you noticed. In the time it took you to make breakfast for all three of you you've found out a little bit more about Toby.

He's uncomfortable talking about his hometown, at least you assume, so instead he mentions that he recently came to town with his friends, Brian and Tim. Talks mostly about Connor and you learn he's to help alert Toby of his Tourettes when driving and he can even detect seizures with Brian. That's amazing, service dogs have sure come a long way! And you love hearing what a silly puppy Connor is off duty, it makes you smile. Toby in turn asks about you, and you are such a well of stories. You tell him about your family back on the coast, about your recent move to Kepler, give him a little info on Kepler to help him adjust to his stay, and even get on the topic of your extensive work with animals.

“Sounds like you were working towards being a trainer, why didn't you?”

Making a sound that sort of sounds like a jumbled 'I dunno', “Sort of don't like people that much. Dogs are fine, less complex and less likely to complain when you do something in a different way. But a trainer doesn't train the dog, they train the people.” You're placing Connor's food in front of him as he sits patiently.

It's quiet for a moment as you place a plate in front of Toby and set yours down as well. Not tense just quiet, it's very calming really. Until Toby ruins it.

“Thanks Connor.”

Like he's a voice actor who is over exaggerating the sound effects of a dog munching away at their bowl. Connor inhales harshly before diving head first into the bowl. The dog is ferociously tearing into his breakfast and you can't help the laughter that spills from you at his enthusiasm. Hands coming up near your face and shaking as you shift from foot to foot. It's a happy stim, cute dogs are of course a trigger, someone can complain later you're happy to see a happy excited pup any day.

Taking your seat and turning your attention to your food, you see Toby hasn't touched his own. He's staring at the plate with a furrowed brow, he glances up to you as you remove your mask. You feel a bit vulnerable to be honest.

“Oh is something wrong? Do you want something else?”  He's a guest who's helped you twice now the least you can do is make sure he leaves your home full.

It takes a moment but he gathers his thoughts to explain, “I have a scar...it's pretty bad.” he looks away from you.

You tilt your head not quiet understanding what he means, “Cool story, do you want me to look away?”

He stalls at this, you just keep throwing him for a loop since you met the other day. While he thinks on it you scoop some of your eggs on your spoon and into your mouth. Perfect texture and prefect flavor, today will be good.

Toby seems to have made his decision and without any show he takes his mask off to begin eating. You can see the scar he was talking about, and while the currently red and bleeding'?!' scar on the left corner of his mouth was bad it wasn't much compared to the gaping hole further up that side on his cheek. You can clearly see the even whiter, how this boy is so pale is beyond you, skin around the edges suggesting the wound was older and had started to heal at some point. But you could see most of the teeth on the left side of his mouth. You've never seen these teeth while they were still in the head. A skull or 3D model yea. But never a living breathing person's head. It's fascinating really, you hadn't even noticed that you finished your breakfast as you watched him eat, you were so enthralled.

“You know your lip's bleeding right?” eyes never leaving the boy's teeth as you see them grind down the eggs into the tiniest particles. Neat!

“Rwhatf?” the way he can talk with his mouth full without spilling it from the hole is fucking magic and you won't hear another word on it.

He takes a drink of water, again it doesn't spill. Then you notice the slight tilt of his head...oh he's had practice doing this. Impressive honestly.

“That's what you choose to comment on?” his eyes narrow at you're still gawking form.

“I'm sorry I've just never seen those type of teeth still in head, normally muscle and...and skin cover them. So this is really cool to see them in action!” gosh you're so damn weird. By his stupefied expression Toby seems to think so too.

“Plus the wound looks healed but the lips look fresh,” you get up and grab a few paper towels bringing them over to offer to Toby, “Not to mention it's bleeding and you haven't once wiped it.”

He doesn't reply as he takes the napkins from you and dabs at his scarred lip, looking back and seeing blood just as you said. He was right when he thought he'd been biting himself a few hours ago. He'd totally forgotten to check after getting you home.

“Well I don't feel it so I didn't know actually.” he just resumes eating as if this conversation didn't happen.

“Didn't, didn't, didn't” you get stuck in a loop for a bit before breaking out “you didn't feel it? What do you have congenital insensitivity to pain?” you ask incredulously.

“I haven't heard it called that since I got diagnosed.” still eating he looks at you through his long eyelashes.

This dude could not be a real person. You had to have been imagining your dream friend. Everything you learned about Toby was more interesting than the last...at least for you it was.

“Medical history podcasts are interesting.” you shrug, “should I get the first aid kit?” at his shrug you get up and go to your bathroom to retrieve the kit.

Coming back into the kitchen you catch Toby lowering your plates for Connor to lick clean. You don't see a problem with it but you will wash everything twice since the pup has slobbered on nearly everything anyway. When you don't say anything he lets Connor continue before placing the dishes in your sink.

“Such a big help” you say patting Connor's head as you pass him, “Yea I really am” Toby says as he sits back down. Propping his arm up on the table to rest his head on his knuckles, it was such a fluid and casual motion. As if he's sat at this table everyday of his life, like this was his home and you were his guest. Tied in with how comfy he is man spreading at your kitchen table you'd say he made himself at home just fine.

You smile and scoot your chair next to him first aid kit in between you on the table. Toby looks between you and the kit before leaning in closer for you to work. Grabbing the antiseptic cleaning towels you go to wipe Toby's lip when he flinches away. Probably faking to see your reaction.

“Oh, fuck off you have CIPA.” you laugh grabbing his chin to keep him in place. He rolls his eyes “And you're weird.” The vibrations feel weird against your fingers.

“I know.” you continue cleaning the small bite mark? Well he does have CIPA he wouldn't be able to feel the pain if he was gnawing at his lips. Would he be able to taste the metallic tang of his blood or were taste buds effected by the disorder too? You might need to do another deep dive on this, it just became relevant. Maybe an anxious tic, judging from the larger wound it could be possible. Wearing a mask must help to hide it but not not to stop it getting worse if no one can call you out on it.

“That wasn't an insult...” he says making you look up into his eyes as you dry the wound, “I know.” You smile down at him, knowing this time he can see it on your maskless face.

When you finished cleaning his wounded lips, you drove Toby and Connor back to their home. Which turned out to be the RV at the forgotten entrance of the forest. Toby had been a little wary you knew where he was talking about but seemed to shake it off just as quick when you mentioned hiking a lot and using that entrance because it was the closest to you.

He had put Connor's vest back on and hopped in the back with him. You noticed from the review that Connor's full attention was on you.

“This set up let's him focus on the driver, so he'll tell us if something will impede your driving.” Well that explains Brian's position the first time you four met.

Nodding you sync you phone with the car's bluetooth and pass it to Toby with spotify open.

“Rules of the road, passenger picks music.” you say simply when he questioned it.

He quickly clicked your last playlist. Probably either too lazy to find something or trying to get a better read on you. Music says a lot about a person even if not everyone thinks that way. And unfortunately for you this playlist screams mental illness and a need for therapy. But you have folk punk. So who needs therapy when you can just scream cry these lyrics.

Toby doesn't comment on it, either just totally apathetic or maybe he likes it. He's a bit of an enigma, he's open and honest for the most part but saves his opinions unless directly asked.

Even after making it to the RV without incident Toby tries to distract you for a bit and tempt you out of the car with the possibility of playing with Connor. As fun as the idea sounds and as much as you don't want to be rude, you're very tired and drained. Probably more from “hanging out” with Toby this morning than your actual episode last night. Plus you understand Toby's just trying to be nice and maybe ensure your safety.

“Could I maybe rain-check? I'm actually really tired.” you say with your most polite smile, though he can't see it through the mask  you know he sees the crinkle of your eyes.

“Sure, just get home safe.” you feel that's less about you, but you aren't sure what the hanging subject is. So cryptic.

“Yup,” you chirp, “See you later Tobias!” as you start to back out back onto the road you hear Toby say “ Later YN.”

Driving off you can't keep the smile off of your face. Toby's a nice guy, you hope you get to spend more time with him. And this time the thought isn't centered around also hanging out with Connor. Just about enjoying Toby's company.

Getting home and locking your door you strip your jeans and flannel, leaving you only in your muscle tee, and curl up in your unkempt sheets. You'll do laundry later, right now was time for a little nap.

[btsslowburnfic]

Born to be Yours Ch. 10

Story Summary: For Namjoon, the moment he set his sights on being the #1 rapper, he pushed the symbol to the side and hated it. Love should be chosen, not forced on you. He didn’t believe in fate and this mark on his wrist was a big “fuck you” to all that.

Chapter summary: Life after you and RM part ways goes back to normal until an accident changes everything

Previous chapters found here: Chapter 9

You are surprised that life does in fact go back to normal. You and Xavier make up and get back to working with smaller local groups after the awards season ends. Things with you and Ben get back to normal; you become a master of using heavy foundation on your soulmark when you’re at home. The summer tour is amazing. You and Xavier traveled to 32 states in 4 months. You find yourself following Twitter and Weverse to see what RM is up to. And you sometimes found yourself thinking about that night the two of you spent together. You mostly try to push it out of your mind though. Even though you told Xavier and he randomly brings it up.

“Right here? On this desk!?!” he asks, running his hands over the surface.

“Yes. And don’t do that, it’s weird and gross.”

“How was it? Describe it to me again.”

You chuckle a bit and roll your eyes, “No. I told you once so I could get it out of my system.”

“Ughhh you’re so boring.” he whines playfully.

“Shouldn’t you be reprimanding me about being a terrible cheating slut?” you raise an eyebrow.

“No. I ship that shit.” he responds, sipping on a smoothie. “Have you eaten yet?” he asks

You laugh and look through your phone. “No, I had a zoom meeting with Gina at noon and then I covered spinning class.” You press some buttons on your screen. “There. I just ordered. I’ll see you in a while.” You stand up and put your flip flops back on.

“Sounds good. I’ll see you in pilates tonight.”

You toss your bag over your shoulder and put your sunglasses on as you step out the door. You look both ways and start to cross the street as you hear a screeching sound. The next thing you hear and feel is the sickening crunch of bone hitting glass. Tires screeching away and then everything is black.

----------------

Namjoon occasionally finds himself thinking about you. Mostly when he accidentally slams his body into a door frame or cuts his finger. He always says he’s sorry and then kind of feels like an idiot for apologizing to no one. He also thinks about the night the two of you shared together quite often and had made Jhope send him those photos he took.

He’s happy to be working and on tour again. It’s been a fun summer. They wrapped up the Asia portion of their journey and were well into Europe now. As usual, the filming crew was in the green room as they were preparing for their second night at Wembley. The first night had been amazing. He couldn’t think of anything that made him happier than being in front of ARMY, especially when they were singing along to the songs he wrote. He smiled as he scrolled through his phone while he had his makeup touched up. 

“10 minutes, 10 minutes.” Management called out.

“Alright guys, let’s get it.” he yells through the green room.

They gather around and do their chant. The minute they step out of the green room they can hear the fans roaring and cheering along to the pre-show videos. They each go to their respective starting positions and wait to hear the signal. 

They open quick and fast with “On” and the crowd is absolutely pumped. They begin their second song and will then introduce themselves. The music for “Dionysus” begins to play and the elaborate set pieces are added throughout the song. They are almost to the end of Dionysus when RM goes down hard. He falls off the table. People are gasping, Jin runs over and signals to the staff on the side of the stage that something is very wrong. ARMY and BTS are freaking out. The visual director quickly puts a message onto the big screens to please wait a moment. The medical staff immediately takes the lift up to the main backstage area. The obvious damage is a cut on his arm that took the brunt of the fall from the table, but that gash can’t account for the fact that he’s unconscious and breathing shallowly. There is a rush of oxygen masks and people yelling. Jimin and JK start crying, the other guys are freaked out about the show and what to do next. Jin rises to the occasion by asking if they should go ahead and skip to his and Suga’s solos until there is more information. A decision is quickly made to begin the solo portions. The two of them quickly change costumes and prepare to go out. An ambulance ends up needing to be called. The guys decide that Namjoon would want the show to go on and so they do. It’s ugly and weird and they are unfocused but they manage through it. ARMY is crying for RM because they know it’s bad when he doesn’t come back on stage. They skip the ments and encore and  the guys are immediately loaded into vans and transported to the private health facility that he’s been taken to. 

The staff escorts the six of them to a room where they wait for a doctor to come and speak to them. A translator is located and brought in as well.

“What happened? Did anybody see what happened before he fell?” Hoseok asks.

“He was fine. I didn’t notice anything strange.” Tae responds. 

“They took video and showed the doctor,”Yoongi adds, having overheard the staff on the way there.

After a few minutes a doctor comes in. “Hello Gentleman. Your friend is in good hands here, and is stable.” she reassures them. 

There is a collective sigh from the group as they hear this news.

“However, we aren’t sure what’s causing this condition. There is no evidence of an aneurysm on the CT scan and the video doesn't show any seizure-like activity prior to the fall. His heart is in excellent shape as well as his lungs. At this point we are running more tests but we do need to ask you all some questions here. Please answer honestly. Does your friend use any drugs? Even maybe extra prescription medication?”

It takes a few seconds for the translator to relay the message and the guys’ reactions range from anger to disbelief. Jin is up on his feet shouting about how they should be focusing on fixing Namjoon rather than gossiping, Jimin is crying more. It’s a mess.

“Calm down guys, it’s a standard question,” Yoongi says stoically. “She’s not trying to be rude.”

“No. He drinks beer and wine sometimes. But no. He’s not on any drugs.  That’s ridiculous.” Jungkook summarizes.

“I’m sorry, it’s something I do have to ask. Is there anything else you guys could think of that might be pertinent? An old injury? Something he did earlier today or ate that he doesn’t usually?”

The guys all sat there for a minute. It was Jin who made the connection first: “His soulmate. She lives in LA.”

Tae’s hand flew to his phone to make a phone call.. The next few things happened over the course of a few hours: a phone call to Hitman Bang to get Gina’s contact information. Several phone calls to Gina. Calls from Gina to you. No answer. Phone calls to Xavier. No answer. Xavier calling Gina back hysterically sobbing that you were in a coma with a skull fracture and blood loss, Gina crying, Gina having someone else call Hitman Bang because she couldn’t stop sobbing, Hitman Bang calling Tae back.

The doctor was updated on the situation. “Ah...well that would explain it. Were the two of them very close?” she asks delicately.

It’s highly inappropriate but Yoongi just laughs, “No. They met one time .”

The doctor raised her eyebrows, “Oh. Well that’s unusual.”

“If she dies, will he die too?” Jimin asks quietly with tears in his eyes.

“No. And especially not if they weren’t close. I need to consult with some colleagues on this before we proceed. If you all want to go get some rest I think he’s going to be like this for a while. We can call you if anything changes.” the doctor informs them.

They are uneasy about leaving Namjoon there so they split up into groups of two to take turns. Jin and JK take the first shift at the care facility.

 ----------------

The doctor reaches out to several colleagues who are familiar with more case studies of soul mate injuries and what to do when there is a mirrored trauma response. She gets permission from RM’s parents (who have flown to London as well at this point) to try a reverse cryogenic procedure to restart his systems. Basically, they will bring his body down to an almost hypothermic point and slowly reheat him, encouraging cell regeneration and movement. It has been successful in similar cases, but it is a slow procedure that needs to be carefully monitored. 

Meanwhile, social media is having a field day about what could have happened. BigHit put out that story that RM has developed a severe allergic reaction to shellfish and went into anaphylaxis on the stage; he was administered an epi-pen and hospitalized but is now resting and recovering. The rest of the guys give interviews to back up this story as well. 48 hours after the incident began, RM is slowly regaining consciousness. 

“What happened? I feel like someone is opening up my skull with a pair of pliers.” he asks the doctor.

“I’m sorry but your soulmate was in a very bad car accident. She’s in a coma and you suffered a mirrored trauma response. I’m going to go let your friends and family know you’re awake.” 

“Shit.” RM says, really taking in everything that was just said to him. 

Jin is the first one in the room. “Hey. You’re finally awake. We were so worried.”

“How long have I been out for?”

“2 days.”

“Shit. What happened with the concert? Is everything ok? Oh God. What did they tell people?”

“One thing at a time.” Yoongi said as he entered the room. “We finished the show. The tour is postponed for at least a few weeks. We told people you had an allergic reaction.”

RM visibly relaxed but was still upset about the show. “Those fans have to be so disappointed.”

“Yeah, but they want you to be well. There’s thousands of flowers and cards being left at Wembley and so many messages on Weverse. We’ll make the dates up when you’re better. ARMY understands. It’s not your fault.”

“No, it’s [Y/N]’s fault.” he says briskly. 

“I mean. She got flattened by a car. So, not really.” Tae added.”She’s in an actual coma. They can;'t just reheat her.” he was surprised by how cold RM sounded talking about his soulmate.

“You’re right. I’m just...it’s a lot. My head still hurts and I guess I just want someone to blame.”

“Blame the asshole who hit her,” Yoongi adds.

“Yeah. I will. I’m so tired.”

“Here, we’ll leave so you can talk to your parents for a minute before you rest.”

“My parents flew in?” he says surprised.

“We thought you were going to die,” Jimin says seriously. “Your sister is on her way here too.”

Rm laid his head back against his pillow. This is exactly the kind of soulmate bullshit he’s been trying to avoid. And you were in a coma. He stopped for a minute and thought about how scary it must be for you but he won’t allow himself to dwell on it. He’s getting his soul mark obliterated as soon as you wake up from your coma and sign off on it. If you wake up from it. Shit. 

----

24 hours later he is discharged from the hospital and decides to book a flight to LA to see what your doctors are doing about rectifying this situation. He can’t shake the massive headache and leg pain that he’s still experiencing constantly. He cannot perform like this. Also he’s looked into the legal status of soulmark obliteration if one party is a permanently vegetative state and what counts as legal consent. Because of course he has. The guys all talk and decide that Tae will go along with him for support. Really it’s to be the voice of reason because they can’t believe that rather than going to see how you’re doing, he is going to ask you to remove your mark. 

------------

RM knows what hospital you are at because his doctor consulted with yours in order to determine the best course of treatment. You doctor was hoping that once RM woke up, you would show signs of improvement. So far though, there wasn’t a lot on your end.

Ben and Xavier dutifully took shifts staying with you in the hospital. On this particular night, Ben is taking the night shift, walking back from the vending machines. He stops when he sees two dudes who look like models standing outside your door.

“Hey. Are you guys friends with [Y/N]? You must be from the studio. I don’t think we’ve met before. I'm Ben” Ben is tired but tries to be friendly.

Tae and Namjoon turn and look to him. Ben. Ben must be her boyfriend. 

“Actually we’re from one of the bands she worked with. I’m Namjoon and this is Taehyung. You must be her boyfriend?”

“Fiance actually,” Ben politely corrects. “Just a few weeks ago actually,” he awkwardly laughs. “But then this all happened. You know the asshole didn’t even stop?” 

Tae feels extremely awkward. He can understand a small bit of what’s going on, but he knows that what’s coming will be very difficult for everyone.

“That’s awful. How is she doing?”

“Bad. Stable. But, bad. She lost a lot of blood and hit her head pretty hard. They’re surprised she didn’t have any broken bones other than her skull fracture. She dislocated her shoulder when it hit the hood. The guy was definitely speeding.” Ben runs a hand through his hair. “Sorry if you were hoping to visit.”

RM awkwardly runs his hands up and down his jeans. There is not an easy way to say this.

“So. You know that [Y/N] has a soulmark on her wrist?”

Ben stiffens ever so slightly, “I do. But it’s ok. We don’t really care about that whole destiny thing. It’s unconventional but you know…” he trails off.

RM takes a deep breath and rolls up his sleeve. “I have the matching soulmark. I was in a coma for 2 days. I need to speak to her doctor immediately.” NEXT CHAPTER

[lokilickedme]

Well today was a shitshow.  Sit down and lemme tell you a little story about trusting your gut when someone seems too fakey-nice to be real.

Actually you know what? - it’s a long story so let me just give you a quick rundown.

(under the cut because my quick rundown ended up slightly longer than “quick” - this is a massive vent with trigger warnings for dog attack, injured children, animal bites, police, and hospitals.  Yeah, it’s been a goddamn HELL of a day)

Neighbors moved into the house next door maybe a year ago (it’s the house that inspired Hammer Of The Gods, just as an interesting side point) and the mom has always been one of those chirpy sunshiny waving-over-the-back-fence “call me anytime, I’ll bake cookies!” good neighbor types that make you feel a little bit unsettled, like, nobody can be that cheery and be for real, you know what I mean?  But we’ve never seen any dark side peeking out so we’ve always just accepted it at face value and waved back and gone about our business, happy in the belief that we got a real good neighbor this time.

So - neighbor lady has this rotten little shit of a dog that we have hated since day one.  We’re not dog haters, this is just a hellspawn beast that even Steve Irwin would want to euthanize.  It barks constantly (sometimes all night), and it gets out of their yard and comes into ours to either 1) take a shit in Little’s sandpit, or 2) snarl and chase Little while he screams and cries.  The kid is scared to go in his own back yard to play because he’s afraid of this shit dog even seeing him.

Neighbor knows this, has seen it happen, and always blows it off with a chirpy “Oh he just likes to roughhouse and play rough, you’ll be fine, he won’t hurt you!”

Yeah, no.  You don’t let your animal come into MY yard and terrorize MY children.  I have chased that beast off with rocks, the water hose, my own shoe more than once, and I stg if it hadn’t run off before I got back with the baseball bat there was one time when I likely would have killed the damn thing.  My child is terrified of it and it goes out of its way to come onto our property to snarl at him and chase him.  I’m not cool with that.  But we haven’t complained because we’re scared to death of making enemies of this neighbor.  Trust me, after the last people who lived in that house, we’re very anxious to stay friends with the ones in there now.  So we did the good neighbor thing and kept the peace by keeping our mouths shut.

Well.  Fast forward to tonight, after a year of putting up with that yappy vicious asshole.  Little is out in the front yard, playing right in front of the front door of our house.  He’s nowhere near their house or the fenceline to their yard, you can’t even see their front door from where he is.  Two steps and he would be inside our house, that’s where he’s at.  Absolutely ten THOUSAND percent nowhere near them or their house or their dog.  Neighbor opens her front door to leave and this shithead comes tearing out of their house on a straight beeline for Little.  It has to go all the way to the end of their front yard and around the end of the fence to even get into our yard, which means it had full intention of coming over here from the minute it got out of their house.  And it’s snarling and barking the whole way, which scares the everloving shit out of Little, because he’s been chased by this hellhound countless times and he knows what’s coming.  He immediately starts screaming and loses his damn mind to the point where he can’t think straight enough to turn around and run into the house, and he starts running in circles because, yeah, he’s a complete idiot when he’s scared, like most 8 year olds when being attacked by vicious animals.  And this stupid dog is right behind him, snarling and barking like a rabid goddamn demon, and Little is screaming that horrified deep-chest kind of scream that stops mothers’ hearts.

I hear it all the way at the far end of the house, over the loud music I have playing.  I’d already heard the dog but had assumed it was just barking through the fence like it always does.  But that scream - god, I hate that scream.  That scream is like a nightmare, you don’t want to hear it while you’re awake, ever.

So I run through the house and tear out onto the porch to see this dog straight up attacking my child.  My child is trying to run but the dog has hold of the back of the calf of his left leg, and Little is practically dragging the thing and screaming his lungs out, but it won’t let him go.  I slam the screen door open and scream BABY GET IN THE HOUSE!!!!! and bam, his brain kicks back in and he heads for me.  I grab him and he’s trembling so hard I thought he was having a seizure.

Now comes the kicker.  The neighbor lady is standing at the end of the fence, watching all this happen.  She yells for the dog to come to her, but that’s all she does.

Now for an even bigger kicker.  The teenage daughter is actually standing less than two feet away from Little and the dog when I get there, meaning she followed the dog into the yard but stood there and didn’t stop it when it started attacking him.  She was simply standing there.  I mean, I can sort of understand where she’s coming from on this, because she’s afraid of the damn dog herself.  But if I were watching my dog attack a small child, you better bet your ass and everything attached to it that I would be putting myself between that dog and that child - or at the very least kicking the dog or trying to grab it by the collar, anything to protect the child.  At least make a fucking effort.

Nope.  She stood there.  In my yard.  Watching her dog attempt to maul my child.  While the mother watched as well, from the safety of the end of the fenceline, while making one feeble attempt to yell for the dog to come.

Fuck them both.

So at this point I’ve grabbed Little and slammed the screen shut to keep the dog away, and the girl says “I’m so sorry!” and then just stands there looking at me like she’s expecting me to say it’s okay.  I’m inspecting my still-screaming child and I find that his leg is bleeding and has fucking HOLES IN IT.  I look through the screen at the teenager and say “IT BIT HIM!!!”

She just stands there.  She obviously doesn’t know what to do, she keeps looking over at her mother.  The mother never steps foot into the yard.  Not a damn step.

Again, fuck her.  I can forgive the teenager...but not the adult.

So my husband finally comes in from the back - up to this point he’s assumed the kids were just playing noisy and the neighbor’s dog was being a yappy little bitch from its own back yard like usual, but when I got Little into the house he finally realized those screams were serious and came running.  I told him the dog bit Little in our yard, and he runs outside but the dog and both women are gone.  He comes back in, confused about what’s happening, and I look him straight in the eye and say “That dog bit our kid, you do something.”

To his credit he snaps to action and runs out, heading straight over to the neighbors’ house to ask what the hell just happened.  She’s trying to get in her car and leave in a hurry, so he stops her and she starts laughing and saying how the dog loves to “roughhouse” and she wished Little wasn’t scared of him so they could play.  And husband, still not knowing what’s going on, has no choice but to let the woman get in her car and leave, but he asks her if the dog is current on its rabies shots and she says something to the effect of “I think so, we lost his tag” (husband was confused by the whole situation, bless him he’s no good at all in a crisis...that’s why he has me) and then she says she has to go and quickly gets the fuck out of Dodge.

When husband comes back in I tell him what I saw.  Little recovers his wits enough to start talking and tells us everything.  I clean the wound and hold him while we try to figure out what to do.  ER?  God, we were just in there a month ago when my eyeball exploded, we just got the bill for it a few days ago and have no idea how we’re going to pay it.  We’re not even sure they’ll see us again with that visit still on the books unless we pay them something on arrival.  But we’re going anyway, because this is our kid and we know we at the very least need to get this situation documented by someone official and make sure the bite doesn’t need care beyond what I can provide...but I need to know what to tell the ER crew when they ask if the dog has had its shots.  I start texting the neighbor, I send her pictures of the bite so she knows this is serious and she needs to work with me, I ask for information on the dog’s vaccine status, and she...straight up ignores me.  I text her again, making it clear that I need her to answer me ASAP because we’re likely going to the hospital and if I can’t tell them what they need to know, they’re going to be calling her.

A half hour goes by, and in the meantime I’m calling TeleHealth and googling shit as fast as I can, waiting for this woman to reply so we know what to do next, and when she finally responds she -

REFUSES TO GIVE ME ANY INFORMATION.

Yeah.

Two tries later - all I want is to know if the dog has had its shots, I even tell her she can just text me a picture of the dog’s collar tags or let me take a picture of its vaccine papers - and she comes back with “I don’t have any papers and his collar broke so the tags were lost.”

I realize at this point that there’s a reason why she won’t give me an answer and keeps evading.  I text her again and say “Ticia I need you to tell me right now HAS THAT DOG HAD ITS SHOTS”

She waits a while, then replies with “My friend does the vaccines for me.”  So I ask for the “friends” name and phone number so the hospital can call and get the information they need from them.  She makes me wait a long time again, after which she finally comes back with “Tell the doctor to call me and I’ll tell him what he needs to know.”

Okay, this is pure bullshit now.  One more try.  “IS THAT DOG VACCINATED OR NOT, YES OR NO?”

She finally replies one last time, with just a single name, “Hubbs”.

I google it - it’s a vet clinic, Hubbs is the doctor.  Wait, I thought she said her “friend” does it and there are no papers...?  So I call the vet clinic, but by this time it’s after hours and they’re closed and my only option is to leave a message and beg them to call me first thing in the morning.  Now I know why she waited so long in between replies...she was watching the clock.  I give husband a quick rundown of what’s been happening and he says “That’s it, I’m calling her.”

He calls her.  She doesn’t answer.

By this time I’m starting to cry and we’re both getting frantic.  I get the kiddo calmed down enough to leave the room and I call my mother - yeah, I know, I’m supposed to be on Active Shun status with her, but this is an emergency and she has experience in the legal field (I do too, but her know-how is far more recent than mine) and there’s no way in hell she would refuse to help her grandbaby.  She’s also the only level head I can think of at the moment.  So I suck it up and make the call.

In spite of everything, she comes through for me.  Lists off everything I need to be doing as far as documenting, getting him to the ER, filing a police report afterward if the neighbor decides to pull a vanishing act (the woman is out of town VERY frequently, sometimes we only see her once or twice a week so we know this is likely).  While I’m on the phone with her, my husband is on the phone with his friend, who is a veterinarian in another state.  Equine vet, but hey, they all have the same basic knowledge under their specialties.  Vet friend says get him to the ER tonight, as in right now, and starts a massive spiel on the danger of waiting since rabies is a possible factor in this equation.  Full panic is setting in now and I’m crying fullblown and vet friend is telling us to take him in NOW, we’re operating on a tight timeframe and rabies is something you don’t fuck around with and we do not want to cut it even remotely close.

So.  We grab our masks and get gone.  On the way to the ER I call the neighbor in one last ditch attempt to get something remotely useful information-wise from her.  She answers on what had to be the fifteenth ring, I was just about to hang up when there’s finally a terse “Hello.”  And while I’m breathlessly telling her we’re in the car on our way to the emergency room and I need to know if her damn dog has had its damn shots or my sweet little 8 year old boy is going to have to start a horrifically painful series of shots for something that likely isn’t even going to happen to him, she has the unmitigated BALLS to calmly and coldly say to me, “If I had that information I would have given it to you.  I can’t do anything until tomorrow.”

Again...say it with me.  FUCK. HER.  She doesn’t even ask if he’s okay.  Her attitude and tone make it clear that she’s considering this whole thing a waste of her time and she’s annoyed that I keep contacting her about it.

I hang up.  Not gonna let that bitch hear me cry.

We get to the ER, I run inside with Little, husband and Big have to stay in the car because Covid regulations.  We get temperature-checked at the door and then do the front desk check-in thing; it’s a quiet night and a small town thank god so we get taken to a room immediately, ER nurse asks what’s happened and I tell her.

She is PISSED.  Informs me that they’re going to be calling the police and that I won’t have to do anything, the Sheriff’s Department will handle it all.  She takes all Little’s stats, checks him over, then leaves to make the call.

Doctor comes in, super nice man, Dr Khan.  He’s not happy about the situation either, tells us they’ll get the police involved on our behalf, verifies that the bite will be okay with some careful tending and a ten day round of antibiotics.  He says since it’s highly unlikely a domestic pet is carrying rabies and this dog has a history of just being a bad tempered bitch, he’s not going to start Little on the horrific preventative treatment for the virus because it’ll likely be unnecessary - but that damn mutt IS going into quarantine and the CDC is being notified of the situation.

Husband texts me from the parking lot: COPS JUST PULLED UP.  About three minutes later Deputy Bishop walks in and he’s ready to rumble because he’s already mad about the call being for a dog attack, and when he sees the victim - all 48 lbs of tiny skinny little blue-eyed blonde haired angelfaced Little - he’s furious.  Takes all the information, asks a lot of questions, spends a lot of time with us, listens to Little, and then as he’s closing his notebook he tells me that he’s headed to neighbor’s house to inform her she’s in some shit now and she should have just cooperated with me from the start (yep I told him how she gave me the runaround).  But since she didn’t extend even the slightest bit of human decency, her dog is being put on the “problem animal” watch list and I’m to call him immediately if she gives me any trouble at all, ever, about any of this.

She not only has to quarantine the dog for ten days, she has to report to the CDC.  If she doesn’t comply, the dog will be taken by the authorities.  She’s also in trouble for not maintaining proper records on the dog’s vaccinations (which I think is because the dog ISN’T vaccinated - why would she have given me such a yank job about it if it was?  I straight up asked her FOUR TIMES “is the dog vaccinated” and she refused to give me a simple yes or no).

So it’s finally finished and we’re released from the hospital, and as we’re turning at the end of our street headed home we pass Deputy Bishop leaving neighbor’s house.  Neighbor is out in her front yard, dragging her trash cans to the corner in the dark as we go into our house.

She never looks at us, never asks how Little is doing.  Nothing.  Pretends we aren’t even there.  Her dog just fucking MAULED my kid, we’re literally just now home from the hospital because of it, we’re going to have an astronomical hospital bill, she could likely get SUED THE FUCK INTO OBLIVION AND BACK, she’s standing less than 20 feet away from us as we’re carrying the injured baby into the house...but she doesn’t even ask if the kid is okay.

This is where the learned lesson comes in.  Remember that fakey-sunshiny-chirpy-friendly “I’m a great neighbor, you’re so lucky to have me!” shit I mentioned at the beginning?  Yeah, we thought this lady was a super great person, we had nothing to make us think otherwise.  Now we do.  From the very first contact after the incident she attempted to make it our fault - said to me in one of the first texts that if we had a problem with her dog’s behavior we should have said so from the start (I had told her that the dog chased Little and snarled at him a lot, that this wasn’t the first time, and that she needed to make sure it was the last time).  She immediately got uppity with me and turned it into our mistake for not saying something every time the dog acted up.  Oh, okay, forgive us for trying to be good neighbors who don’t complain about everything.  That’s where we went wrong here!  Yeah it’s all our fault, sorry!  You’re completely within your rights to keep a dangerous animal that hates children next door to a family with children and not do anything to keep it under control.  Our bad, sorry to waste your time.

For the nth time...fuck her.  People show their true colors when they feel threatened, and I feel like she knew she likely has a lawsuit coming...and if she felt threatened by the possibility of a lawsuit, that means she knows she’s guilty and deserves one.

So anyway...Little is going to be fine, physically.  But he’s made it clear that he’s never going outside again.  (Say it with me, class...FUCK HER).  The shitty little dog has to be locked up for ten days, yay.  Personally I wish they’d taken it away, but at least there’s 10 days where Little can go out in his own damn yard without fearing for his life - if I can convince him it’s safe and talk him into it.  (Say it again...)

Tomorrow I talk to neighbor’s vet and get the truth, finally, about the damn thing’s shots (or lack thereof), and then I have to call our homeowner’s insurance and file a claim through them against neighbor’s insurance to try to get our hospital bill paid by her.  Which, you know, probably wouldn’t even have been necessary if the woman had cooperated with me from the start.  And then I get to start the long process of getting Little through his trauma and fear of ever going outside to play again.  And in 3-5 days I get the joy of going down to the police department to pick up a copy of the report.

And, of course, we get to deal with the cold shoulder from a suddenly not-such-a-nice-person uncaring next door neighbor who obviously thinks we’re assholes because the hospital called the police and reported her while our son was bleeding in the emergency room with holes in his leg the size of her precious pet’s teeth.

I won’t ever fall for that fakey-nice act again, from anyone.  My gut never truly believed she was as good as she pretended to be, and now I know my gut was right.  She’s a mother...yet she couldn’t even muster up that fake sunshine long enough to find out if a child was going to be alright.  A child whose injury and trauma were due to her negligence.  To me that makes the deception a thousand times worse.  She’s a goddamned mother and she flat doesn’t give a shit.  She didn’t even pretend to.

Words can’t even go where my feels are at the moment.  

[imposterellie]

A little bit of Bucky Barnes whump for day 1 of febuwhump 2021. @febuwhump

*Set in an Avengers training mission, with a similar vibe to the fight in civil war but they’re all friends this time!*

TW - mentions of blood, mild seizure, pain, passing out, swearing

Day 1 - mind control (Bucky)

Something was wrong. Bucky didn’t know what, but his whole mind felt off. There was a throbbing sensation in the back of his head; it was less of a pain and more of an uncomfortable awareness. He didn’t have time to worry about it. He was on a training mission with the rest of the avengers, team cap vs team iron man, and he wasn’t about to lose the fight for his best friend. The teams were split evenly, Captain America, Bucky, Sam, Clint and Thor against Tony, Peter, Wanda, Vision and Natasha. It meant that they were all evenly matched and it was taking all Bucky’s strength to try and beat them. The brief was simple, ensure the other team became overpowered and surrendered. It was supposed be for ‘team building’ but Bucky sensed it might be more to do with learning about everyone else’s weaknesses in battle. What for? He wasn’t sure.

Even in the midst of training, Bucky grinned slightly when he caught Steve’s eye across the unit. His best friend since they were young, Steve was the only thing that had managed to keep Bucky grounded since his release from hydra, and then SHIELD. Fighting alongside his friend would always be exactly where he belonged.

The throbbing sensation grew more powerful and far more painful as he fought. His eyes instinctively sought out the blue suit across the airport, seeking that familiar comfort in his times of need. He needed that reassurance that no matter what happened with the training, things would be okay so long as Steve was there. He was currently having hand to hand combat with Natasha, and even he had to admit that she was very good. So good that he was starting to lose even with his super strength and years of extensive training. He chalked it up to lack of sleep, not thinking for a second that the pain in his head might be doing it.

A blinding pain lanced through his skull, rendering him completely sightless as he dropped to his knees, all thoughts of the battle forgotten. Natasha landed a well aimed kick to his stomach before she realised something was wrong. The rest of the fight raged on around him, but Bucky didn’t care. He could hear someone screaming, a guttural, terrible scream that sounded like pure pain. It took moments before he realised it was him making those sounds. The pain in his head gripped like a vice and he dropped onto his side, his body beginning to shake. Blackness enveloped him.

———————————————————————————————————————————————————

Tony spun round in horror when he heard the screams echoing across the tarmac. The fight ceased almost immediately as everyone turned to see what the source of the horrific noise was. The blood left Tony’s face as he realised it was the winter soldier. He scanned the vicinity, searching for a possible cause when he caught eyes with Wanda, who had turned a startling shade of green. He flew over to her, retracting the helmet of his suit the second he was in front of her. She barely acknowledged his existence.

“What did you do?” Tony asked, gently grabbing her wrist. She saw him then, her eyes glazed over with guilt.

“I was- I- oh god. Oh god.” Wanda began to panic then, realising that she was the cause of Bucky Barnes’ pain.

“Wanda talk to me. We can fix this.” Tony said to her as calmly as he could. She took a deep breath.

“I just wanted to slow them all down but Bucky… I didn’t know he would- I forgot about hydra... they must’ve made him more susceptible to my power.” She gulped before continuing,

“It wasn’t supposed to hurt this much, just enough to give us all a breather... Tony I’m so sorry.” She looked away from him again, looking as though she was definitely going to vomit. Tony gripped her wrist more tightly.

“Get out of here. Once Steve realised it was you, all hell will break loose. Get out of here. Apologise later.” When Wanda didn’t move Tony added,

“Go. Please. I’ll fix this”

Wanda nodded and ran from the field, heading straight back to the compound, Vision immediately followed her. Tony watched them go and then turned back to the man shaking on the tarmac.

———————————————————————————————————————————————————

Steve had never run as fast as he did when Bucky started screaming. He didn’t know how any human could produce such a sound. It shattered his heart and his stomach felt like it had twisted into a knot by the time he dropped onto his knees beside his best friend. Natasha had ack away, her face frozen in horror. It was clear she thought she had caused Bucky’s pain. Bucky’s hands were up, covering his ears - no clawing at his head, as he shouted, his voice becoming hoarse. Steve felt his throat close, panic gripping him as he tried to figure out what was wrong. He quickly made an assessment- no visible injuries - so gently placed his hand on Bucky’s arm. That was a mistake. Bucky stopped screaming, but his eyes rolled into the back of his head and he began to shake.

“Shit. SHIT.” Steve shouted, backing away from his friend. The rational part of his mind told him that this wasn’t a conventional seizure, that it was Bucky’s mind’s mechanism when it thinks it’s being attacked from within, but he couldn’t accept rationality. His friend was in pain. Steve was about to call Tony on his comms when Bucky suddenly stopped moving. Steve resumed his position by Bucky’s side, gently pressing his neck to find a pulse. It was there, strong and steady, and Steve sighed in relief.

He then noticed the presence of the other avengers. None of them had dared get too close but he could see concern on their faces. He did an instinctive head count. Two were missing, and it didn’t take him long to realise it was Wanda and Vision. Steve knew Wanda had been near Tony last so scanned for him across the group. Tony made eye contact then looked away, shaking his head imperceptibly.

There was no time to find out what that meant though, as Bucky groaned behind him, his muscles having stopped contacting so violently. He was no longer clawing at his head but his breathing was laboured and gasping. Steve gently moved Bucky’s hands away from his head, his gaze steeling when he saw the red fingernail marks taking down the side of his skull. There was blood under Bucky’s fingernails where he had ripped at his head so violently that he had broken the delicate skin.

“Bucky?” Steve said gently, careful not to speak to loudly in case Bucky’s head was painful. “Are you there buck? Talk to me bud.” Bucky’s body stilled completely, and he scrunched his face up before his eyelids fluttered open.

“Steve?” Bucky croaked, his voice scraped painfully in his throat. “Wha’ ‘ppened?” He squinted, looking up into Steve’s worried eyes.

“I’m not sure Buck, one second you were fighting Nat and then you were on the ground screaming. You scared me half to death.” Steve explained, watching Bucky try and piece the information together with his memories. Tony placed a tentative hand on Steve’s shoulder. He hadn’t even noticed the man approach him, even in the iron suit.

“I think I know what happened,” Steve looked at him then, his eyebrows furrowed in questioning, “Wanda and I, we wanted to try something new with her powers, to see what limits she could push it to and-“ tony looked down, sheepishly “I think the technique she was using on everyone triggered something in Barnes’ brain to think it was being attacked.” Steve blinked once, turning his attention back to Bucky. Tony could no longer see Steve’s face but could see the rage in his clenched jaw and fists.

“Do you have any idea how much damage you could have caused?” Steve seethed, “you could’ve just undone the years of work we’ve done to get Bucky back again. How dare you use us all as experiments?” Steve was facing him now, looking very much as if he was going to punch Tony very, very hard. Tony backed away, hands up in a surrendering pose.

“I’m sorry Cap, I didn’t think!” He looked around at the gathered avengers, “look don’t blame Wanda for this, she barely agreed to it in the first place. Let’s get Barnes fixed up and then I’ll make sure you get your opportunity to be pissed, okay? But right now Barnes is the priority.” Steve held his steely gaze for a second longer and then nodded stiffly, turning back to his best friend, who was starting to get the strength back in his muscles enough to gently sit up with Steve’s help. Steve gestured to Sam to give him a hand helping Bucky to his feet. He swayed slightly and grabbed Steve’s arm as vertigo hit him. The rest of the avengers had dispersed, Steve remembered vaguely hearing someone mention something about the medbay and doctor Cho, so he knew he’d find them all back at the compound with medical help waiting.

Bucky’s steps faltered as he groaned, his head throbbing fiercely, so Steve picked him up into his arms and carried the super soldier all the way back to the medbay and onto the doctor’s waiting gurney. At some point on the journey back, Bucky had passed out again, his head falling against Steve’s shoulder.

“I’ve got you Buck,” Steve whispered as he set him down, “I’ve always got you. ‘Til the end of the line.”

[nightkitchentarot]

The Secret Of The Quiet Mind

FROM THE ATLANTIC -- JUNE 17, 2021

I Know the Secret to the Quiet Mind. I Wish I’d Never Learned It.

Of all the injuries we suffered, mine is the worst. My brain injury has shaken my confidence in my own personality, my own existence.

By Hana Schank

The worst things can happen on the most beautiful days. My family’s worst day was a perfect one in the summer of 2019. We picked my daughter up from camp and talked about where to go for lunch: the diner or the burger place. I don’t remember which we chose. What I do remember: being woken up, again and again, by doctors who insist on asking me the same questions—my name, where I am, what month it is—and telling me the same story, a story that I am sure is wrong.

“You were in a car accident,” they say. But this cannot be. We’re having lunch and then going on a hike. I had promised the think tank where I work that I’d call in to a 4 p.m. meeting.

“You are in Dartmouth-Hitchcock Hospital in New Hampshire.” Another ludicrous statement. I started the day in Vermont. Surely if I had crossed the river to New Hampshire I would know it.

“What’s your name?” they ask me, and I tell them and tell them and tell them.

“Where are you?” “New Hampshire,” I say, except for one time when I say “Vermont.” “New Hampshire,” they correct, and I want to say, “Really, we are so close to the border here, can’t you just give it to me this once?”

“You were in a car accident,” they tell me again. “Your husband broke his leg and your son broke his collarbone.” These do not seem like horrible injuries, so I am waiting for the worse news, the news that my daughter is dead. She is the youngest and the smallest. She was born with albinism, and her existence has always felt improbable, and so now it must be over.

But—thank God—it’s not. “Your daughter has fractures in her spine and damage to her lower intestine from the seat belt.” They tell me that my lower intestine was also injured, and that I’ve had surgery. I lift up my hospital gown and am surprised to see an angry red line and industrial-size staples. I remember an article I’d read about seat belts not being designed for women, and I ask the doctor if he sees more women with these injuries than men. I have yet to take in the reality of what has happened to me, to my family. Instead I am thinking about writing an exposé about the sexist seat-belt industry.

They wake me up and ask me where I am and what my name is. A doctor asks me who the president is. “I don’t want to say,” I reply. He smiles. I am at Dartmouth for three days before I am transferred to the University of Vermont, where my husband and children are. The days pass like minutes, a loop of sleep interrupted by people asking me questions and telling me terrible things.

One of the things I am told is that I have a brain bleed and a traumatic brain injury. I wonder if this is why I am slurring my words, but am told that the slurring is from the anti-seizure medication I am on. This sounds good. The slurring will stop. A doctor tells me I “got my bell rung.” This is a bad analogy. Bell clappers are meant to slam against the side of the bell. The brain is not meant to slam against the side of the skull.

Of all the injuries my family is suffering from, mine is the worst. This is my totally biased opinion. My husband’s leg will take almost a year to heal. My daughter would have died if not for the surgery to repair her flayed abdomen. She is 10, and one of her friends tells her that because of the scar she will never be able to wear a bikini. She spends many days attempting to suss out whether she cares. She doesn’t yet know if she is the bikini-wearing type.

My 13-year-old son is the only one who remembers the accident. He remembers a woman in a ponytail calling 911, the smell of gasoline and burnt metal. He remembers his father yelling “Jesus Christ.” He will have to live with the memory of his sister looking at my body and asking, “Is Mama dead?”

These are terrible injuries, and yet, the other members of my family don’t walk around thinking, Am I still me? My brain injury has shaken my confidence in my own personality, my own existence. This is the worst injury.

When we leave the hospital and move into a hotel, I frequently get lost in the hallway. The first time I roll into occupational therapy with my walker, I am grateful for the obvious signage pointing me toward the check-in desk. It’s almost as though the clinic is expecting people with brain damage.

My therapist is a smiling, 40-something woman with dirty-blond hair. She reminds me of me before the accident. She asks if I am having any thinking problems or memory problems. I tell her about an incident with Parmesan cheese.

“Can you get the Parmesan?” my husband asked.

I opened the fridge and looked. I looked and looked.

“I can’t find it,” I said with a shrug.

My son opened the fridge and pulled out a block of Parmesan.

It hadn’t occurred to me that this was a brain issue. Sometimes you just can’t find the Parmesan. Right?

A test confirms that I have trouble scanning a visual field for objects. My brain is struggling to recognize what I see, but without a pre-accident baseline to judge from, there is no way to know how much worse I am at it now. Have I always been bad at finding things? Maybe? There are limits to how well an injured brain can scrutinize an injured brain.

I have other visual-processing issues. At first I can’t watch television because my brain is unable to merge the images from my two eyes, so I see doubles of everything—two Phoebes, two Chandlers. I can watch with one eye closed, but I’m distracted, seething at my brain for failing to do such a simple task.

In one session, the therapist tells me we are going to play a game. She pulls out a deck of cards and asks me to turn cards over while saying the number or the color or the suit. The game is so difficult, I want to physically remove my brain from my skull and hurl it against a wall. I will never play this game again as long as I live.

Eventually I graduate from occupational therapy. But occupational therapy isn’t about getting people back on their feet so they can return to think tanks. It is about making sure they can run errands without getting lost. I am someone who has always taken pride in my intelligence, and now I am not so smart. I am just a functional human being, according to occupational therapy.

When we go out in public as a family, we are a walking nightmare. “Wow,” a stranger says, marveling at the device that is bolted into my husband’s femur. And then my son appears with his arm in a sling, my daughter limps over in her back brace. An injured couple is potentially funny. There is nothing funny about an injured family. “What happened to you guys?”

When we tell the story, we explain that we were in no way at fault, which feels important. We wore our seat belts and drove the speed limit and the weather wasn’t bad and yet this happened to us. Someone was driving a pickup truck in the opposite direction. He was late to a job interview or to get his kid, or maybe he was just antsy. In front of him was a motorcycle slowing him down. Maybe he’d been behind that motorcycle for miles. Maybe he liked to take risks. He pulled into our lane and passed the motorcycle while going up a hill at 70 miles per hour. I don’t know who makes this kind of decision. Did he think, I can’t believe I did something this stupid? Did he also yell “Jesus Christ”?

Because we are not at fault, accident feels like the wrong word. Not just wrong, but unfair. My husband starts calling it the incident, but an incident is a small thing, not something that scars you for life. The smashing? The destruction? Newbury, after the town where it occurred? The only thing that comes close is the devastation.

The devastated me is different. My brain used to race, making lists and plans, skipping from an article I was researching to whether my kids were in appropriate after-school programs to what vacation we should take in February. Now it does none of that. There are no plans to make.

A few days after regaining consciousness, I check my Twitter feed. I have always been a news junkie. But I have missed nothing. The news seems to be not just familiar but actually repeating itself. Something bonkers happened in the White House. People are dying in a country I’ve never been to. A company did something possibly illegal. There was a house fire in the Bronx. Are these the things I used to care about?

The most interesting piece of news is the one I am experiencing. In the hospital we are waiting to make sure my daughter can poop through her reconstructed colon. This article isn’t in The New York Times.

When we return to New York I take the subway to doctor appointments. I don’t take out my phone, I just sit. My brain is quiet, which I find suspicious, but also soothing. Before the accident I went to yoga retreats and tried meditation. I said things like “I just need to unplug.” Apparently what I needed was to get hit by a truck. Perhaps I have discovered the secret to a peaceful mind, and it is traumatic brain injury. I fantasize about opening an expensive spa where busy people pay me money to whack them on the head with a baseball bat.

The day of the accident I had been working on a project to improve how homeless people are placed into shelters. I say out loud, “I don’t care about homeless people” to see how it feels. It doesn’t ring true; I do care about homeless people. I just don’t feel like working. I have always been a regular exerciser. Now I can’t imagine wanting to do a burpee, let alone 10 of them. I always ate healthy things. But did you know that you can eat whole grains and still get hit by a truck?

I have strange cravings. I think about apple cider all the time. Apple cider is not a normal part of my diet. I have a very detailed dream about eating chocolate cake. I eat the cake. That’s the entire dream. I find myself foraging in the fridge for flavors that don’t exist.

I don’t know which symptoms are permanent and which are temporary. At first, the doctors say that after a year or two I’m likely to have a full return to my normal brain function. Or not. They don’t really know about the brain. It might be more like 95 percent. If I broke my elbow and someone told me I’d get 95 percent of my elbow function back, I’d be satisfied. But 95 percent of my brain function sounds terrifying. Which pieces will be missing?

Some days I feel like myself. Other days all I can think about is the old life that is gone. Then, halfway through my recuperation, the coronavirus comes. The stores close, the schools close, the traffic on the avenue dwindles to a sporadic whoosh. And my busy friends who were always texting me about their crazy schedules are suddenly as quiet as I am. Together we wait for normal to return. The difference is that they know what normal looks like.

In July it will be two years since the accident. The world is now coming back to life, my days slowly filling up with work and chores and exercise. Soon I will go back to in-person meetings and travel, and I wonder: Will I be up to the challenge? Or will I get lost in office buildings and airports?

For now, in this liminal space between the old life and the new one, I often catch myself staring at my children. They have never been more beautiful. I chalk this up to the magic of braces––their teeth are finally coming into alignment––but I know this is ridiculous. They are beautiful because they are alive. I look at them, and I sit with the silence. Today, it is mine. Tomorrow, it may not be.

[harleenfleck]

“The Joker and the Harlequin” Chapter 2

Joker/Arthur Fleck x Harley Quinn/Harleen Quinzel Fanfic 

Chapter 1

Warnings: No one, just a little rejection to the protagonist.

Notes: Hey everyone! There’s the second Chapter of this story! I don’t put warnings in this one cause I don’t thinks there’s anything heavy to read. Maybe little fluff but it’s not fluff as such hahaha idk how to explain it. 

More characters will appear in this one, some are my invention, others are from the Animated Series and some comics, and only one is from the movie and yes, that only character that comes from the movie is who you think is *Fangirl screams*

Well, hope you like it! Enjoy it! :3 <3

...

Chapter 2

Trying to forget the assault of the first hours of her day, Harleen finally got to her destination.

It was a huge hospital that, although it was in decline 10 years ago, was no better in those days. In fact, it was less bad.

Harleen came in with a lot of nerves. She told the receptionist that she was the new intern, while the receptionist was communicating with others, Harleen waited patiently (or at least tried) to sit down while she looked at her shoes.

Would she do it right? Would she give a good look with the choice of clothes she wore? It wasn’t too much makeup? Many questions bombarded Harleen's mind, but there was always at least a bit of optimism in her. She settled her glasses. Bit her lips. She took her hand to her mouth but remembered that there were only biting nails.

She looked at the bottom of a corridor and watched how some stretcher-bearers were carried a tied patient on a stretcher, while the patient yelled obscenities and meaningless words.

“Don't worry” She whispered to herself “Surely they'll give you patients who aren't so horrendous...”

She observed now her around, the cleanliness shone by his non appearance. When she noticed, she tries not to be uncomfortable.

She noticed how a doctor arrived in the reception room. He asked the receptionist something and pointed at her. Harleen got up immediately.

“Dr. Harleen Quinzel?”

“Yes, it's me, nice to meet you” She reached out her hand to the doctor. He looked her from head to toe.

“Oh” The expression on the Doctor's face when he saw who she was the new Intern made her more nervous than she had. “Nice to meet you. I'm the Director of the hospital, Dr. Jeremiah Adams”

Although she had not given a good impression, Harley tried to smile at the doctor to relax, however, his expression caused the smile to fade soon.

“Well Harleen, we'll go to your department, I'll introduce you to a colleague who’s the boss of that department...”

Harleen started following the director. The frivolity with which she was received made her feel that she should not be there. She would turn everywhere, looking at the white walls of the hospital, and occasionally meeting a nurse or patient.

They arrived at the sub-direction of Psychiatry, an area was made up of medical offices and archive offices.

“Dr. Joan Leland” The Dr. Jeremiah went to woman, she was tall, short-haired, and dark-skinned. She was on her back but she turned “This is Harleen Quinzel, the new intern, today she integrating with us”

“Harleen, nice to meet you”

“Thank you, nice to meet you”

“Well, I leave you, there's a lot to do in this hospital”

Before he said another word, the Director disappeared.

“Well Harleen” Dr. Leland spoke when she notices that Harleen's emotions were being felt outside “Before you begin, I must tell you something: We read your academic record and really took many of us surprise the fact that you decided that you Internship was here, in Arkham, your grades are excellent and your thesis is outstanding”

“Well, it's just... I didn't really have a choice”

“I'm sorry to hear that. But well, go with me, I'll show you the place and introduce you to those who will be your coworkers”

Dr. Leland began walking and Harleen began to follow her.

They arrived at a meeting room where two other doctors, they were in the middle of their lunch.

“Guys, come here. This is Harleen Quinzel, the new intern”

One of the doctors was a tall, natural blond-haired, white-skinned woman with green eyes. The other doctor was a man with brown hair, beard and light brown skin.

At the time they voiced Dr. Leland, said he would be back in a moment, leaving Harleen alone with his new colleagues.

“Hi Harleen, I'm Susanne Brown. You can call me Susy”

“Hello Susy” The two women shopped their hands. The man stood behind Susy, patiently waiting for his turn to introduce himself.

“Hello Harleen, I’m Guy Kopski”

“Hello Guy”

“So, your name it’s Harleen, it’s a pretty nice name, we can call you Harley?”

“Harley?”

“Yeah, like a nickname, like Susanne and Susy, sounds great, don’t you think?”

“Eh, thank you… But I preferer my real name”

The doctors looked at each other.

“Well...” Harleen tried to make a conversation”This place doesn't look as bad as I've been told.

“God, I can tell you're the new one. This places is horrible”Susy began to grumble”Every day put up with the same old lunatics, enduring that the air conditioning or heating doesn't work, patients starting to have seizures while you're eating, or as simple as when "The Patient" escapes”

“The Patient"?”

“Yes, one of the most problematic, I hope you have to treat it soon, we've tried everything and nothing seems to work. I've been told you're smart, maybe you could give him his cure, or his punchline”

Harleen, trying to smile again, wanted to try to respond to it.

“Well, thank you very much, I hope to do my best”

“Oh Susy, don't be so cruel with the girl, it’s new here” Guy began to mock.

Again, Harleen's insecurity attacked her and made her quiet.

“Oh Harley”

“It’s Harlee-”

“Anyway, I know you see us very relaxed and calm, but that's not why we accept anyone as a friend. I know Dr. Leland is a woman who wants us all to be holding hands and live a great friendship, but believe me, that's not gonna happen. We're just co-workers, you understand?”

The poor confidence that Harleen had trapped while talking to them decided to bury herself alive. Harleen crouched his head away, feeling ashamed.

“I-I get it”

“Good!”

To Harleen's fortune, Dr. Leland showed up back and took her away.

The two doctors left the offices and began walking down the hospital corridors. Dr. Leland kindly explained what each was all about.

“I hope you can get used to this place quickly, here's a lot of work to do”

“Yeah, I heard again about the new monetary cut”

“Oh yes, it seems that after 10 years politicians and millionaires don't understand. For the same reason of the monetary cut we have had to reduce the places of the Internship to only one, where you are right now. We were nowhere near closing all the places at least for this year”

Listening to that was as if Destiny told Harleen that she was always going to be her favorite toy to prove how miserable could become a simple person

“Oh, wow...”

They spent the next hours doing a tour in the hospital. Joan was someone very calm and tranquil. With kindness and patience, she explained everything she knew to Harleen and resolved her doubts.

“Normally in the hospital we do different types of therapy, electroconvulsive therapies are our last instance, but we usually use them, as you go forward, we will teach you how to manage the devices for when one of your patients requires such therapy”

“Sounds interesting, but isn't it dangerous?

“Yes, but only if you don’t know how to handle”

“Wow, that’s so many things I have to learn”

“And you will. Let’s go to the patient’s area”

The two doctors entered an elevator. When the elevator was down, Joan kept explaining more things to Harleen.

“What do you think about this place, Harleen? What do you think of Arkham Asylum?”

“Well, I think this place is… Well, I don’t want to sound rude, I’ve heard a lot of stories about this place, I thought was a horrible hospital but…”  

“But?”

“It doesn’t look so bad, honestly”

“Oh Harleen, why do you think you're going to sound rude? It's an honest opinion, the most passive I've ever heard of this place being honest, I think”

The elevator stopped at that moment. Joan was surprised, because it was not the floor she had in mind. The doors opened, a man nurse with a tired and sweat-filled face was on the other side.

“Ladies, you'd better get out of this elevator, we're moving "The Patient" to another cell”

Harleen looked at Joan, she looked very upset.

“For God’s sake, do you have to do it now? I'm with this girl, it's the new one and there may be risk...”

“I’m so sorry doctor, but they’re already coming with him”

Making a grimace of frustration, Joan turned to Harleen.

“Harleen, this is a very dangerous patient, just follow me, keep your head down, don't lift it out for curiosity and don't maintain eye contact with this patient”

"Ok...” Unsure of following the instructions, the two doctors came out of the elevator. As they heard the nurse screaming that they were preparing, that the elevator was ready, Harleen's temptation to look up was so big.

She heard footsteps coming to where she and Dr. Leland were, her eyes stared that her superior was going to the front with the same position she ordered her to do.

Her first mistake: Move her eyes.

Her vision began to follow the sound and she saw the feet of the nurses and "The Patient" who was told she will not look him in the eye.

Curiosity killed the cat, and Harleen was a very curious cat.

Her eyes slowly rose to the face of this "Patient".

She saw a man with green and pure eyes, much purest than her eyes, and she understood why Joan told her she would not look him in the eye: She was already in his sights.

Harleen looked away, but two seconds later he dared to look back at him again, and looked the face of "The Patient" completely. White skin, wrinkles next to each of his eyes, a two-day beard, his hair reached to his shoulders and was dark in color with one graying.

And of course, a smile in his face.

Harleen, feeling the weight of that patient's gaze, nervously smiled back and relaxed her neck and shoulders, now raising her head towards him. She observed in that man's face there was a little surprise and at the same time satisfaction.

The two, after crossing their paths, continued with these, Harleen followed the doctor and "The Patient" followed the passage of the nurses who were upon him.

Harleen couldn't stand curiosity once more, turned her head back to see him one last time, and he was doing the same thing, smiling at her. She couldn't help but give a smile.

“Harleen?”

Harleen immediately turned to the doctor and followed her, for she went very far ahead than her.

“I’m-I’m sorry! I get a little nervous and-”

“Oh, don’t worry, everybody in this hospital we get very nervous when it’s about this patient in special” When the elevator was heard close up, the doctor prayed a little “God, take care of those nurses…”

“Eh? That patient was… Very bad?”

Joan looked tenderly and quietly at Harleen.

"I don't know you very well, but I think you sin of innocent. I'll tell you who that patient is, he's one of the most dangerous ever, because thanks to him, Gotham is immersed in the crime”

Harleen's eyebrows hunched over.

“Really? What a horror... Dr. Leland”

“You can call me Joan”

“Oh, well, eh Joan… who’s that patient?

"Who is him? Oh Harleen, that dangerous patient in Gotham is known as the Joker”

At the time, Harleen felt someone push her off a cliff.

Being shocked, her eyes opened to her where her eyelids allowed her and her mouth alike.

“T-T-T-That man? H-H-he it’s…?”

“Yes, the Joker. Now you understand why I prayed for those nurses”

Harleen looked back at the elevator, incredulous. She looking at the doctor, she was totally and completely surprised.

"But... But... In person it… He doesn't look like...

“In person?”

It was time to confess to Dr. Leland that she had not followed her instructions, but she decided to tell her the truth in half.

"... A moment ago, I... I turned around a little bit, just as we got over him and we were already away, he was looking back. I don't, I-“

"Ah, it's okay Harleen, I don't think I recognize you from afar, I think he don’t have good eyesight. The problem would have been if you'd seen him head-on”

Harleen swallowed at the time, but tried to be disguised.

"Anyway Harleen, we still have a lot to go through this hospital, the next room is where we usually meet when there are Bioethics committees...”

She couldn't hear Dr. Leland after that. She still nervous with every step she took.

She had read about him, the murders he had committed, how he had earned the nickname "The Clown Prince of Crime," and how he managed to reunite his kingdom in one night.

And at the same time, he was the only person who dedicated a warm welcome to Arkham with that smile.

In her memory, Harleen couldn't help smile. But when she realized that, she tried to behave and keep her composure.

“Eh... Joan, I’m sorry, but I have a question”

“Of course, Harleen, what happen?”

“When I am assigned patients... To treat them obviously, will I be able to choose or decline them?”

“It’s about the Joker, isn’t it?”

Grieving, Harleen lowered her head.

"I would really be afraid to have a consultation with him”

"Harleen, listen to me, I know Arkham is not the best psychiatric hospital, but even at the best of all there are always completely dangerous patients who can't be treated by anyone. Anyway, I’ll warn you: Patients like the Joker are really hardcore psychopaths, putting the Joker how your patient it would be like throwing a lamb at a herd of wilds wolfs. He'd eat you like breakfast for be the beginner. So, on that side, don’t be scared, the Joker will not be your patient while you stay here

“Oh, thank you, thank you so much Joan”

"Don't worry, anyway, he hasn’t seen female psychiatrists in a long time, the last time a female psychiatrist treated him was a tragedy, she ended up suffocated by a chain of his wives”

The fear was too obvious and quick in Harleen.

“What... What horrible...

"That's why we wouldn't even let you be with that kind of patient”

"Thank you...”

“Well, continuing, in this hospital we made…”

The day went too fast. Lots of things to learn, and a lot of patience to have.

When the day was over, Harleen was assigned an office, where her workspace would become.

Sitting down, she was thinking about her first day. She was thinking about the Joker's smile. And every time she did, she blush and smiled unintentionally.

"No Harleen, no” She said to herself "He's a madman, he's a criminal. He'd kill you as soon as he had the chance... If he had the chance”

Harleen reloaded in his chair and thought of those words. She closed her eyes. About half an hour later she had finished her turn at the hospital. She'd get out of this and take the train again. She was praying not to be unlucky as in the morning.

She arrived at the station, as soon as she came down, she noticed that there were many people gathered at the station. She approached and saw that many people were taking photographs at the site where the Joker had murdered the three men on Wall Street. It was a tourist spot for weird people.

She shook her head, didn't want to think about it, went up the stairs and went to her house.

She walked a couple of streets from the blue and cold Gotham, it was the beginning of Autumn 1991. She came to her apartment. So tired, taking off her medical coat.

“I am in home mom!”

“Wow, you finally came”

This time she had an answer from her mother.

"I had a lot of work today; it was my first day" Harleen would leave her purse and her coat on the couch "But you know what? I did pretty well today, Arkham is not as bad as it’s seems”

"And why don't you lock yourself up with those crazy people? Harleen, Arkham is the worst place in Gotham, the most dangerous place in the world"

“Actually, Chernobyl it’s the most dangerous place in the world, I read…”

"You don't understand what I mean? Well, you are stupid anyway”

Harleen ignoring that, walked to the kitchen, knew she was going to get a shower of insults from her mother.

“I can’t believe it yet Harleen, you’re a little bitch, why you didn’t sleep with one of your teachers? You could have got out of Gotham and leave me, why didn’t you? You already have experience to be a bitch”

Harleen lowered her head when she heard that horrible words. Her mother knew things hadn't happened like this, but her mother didn't believe her, and she never believed in this daughter. Cleaning her tears, Harleen took a plate of cereal and started eating them at the bar.

“Goddammit, have you watch the news? That masked one it’s in the mouth of everybody in the city, I’m tired of him”

Her mother was a woman who physically look like Harleen except for the age, the complexion and the color of her eyes. She had olive eyes.

“Mom, have you had dinner yet?”

“Yeah, I ate a donuts and coffee with milk”

Harleen sighed a little disappointed.

“Mom, I told you mom, you should to eat healthier”

“Bah, either way I’m going to die someday”

“Yes, I know, but from that stretch before you die you will suffer many sicknesses. I don't want any of that to happen to you, I want to see you healthy and- “

"Did I ask for your opinion of my life?" The mother abruptly interrupted her daughter "You want to fix many aspects of my life after you ruined it. Because of you, your father left the house, and if he hadn't left, he wouldn't be dead."

Harleen just crouched her gaze full of guiltiness.

“I know mom”

“And if you already know why I have to tell you again? My life began with my illnesses and blames after your father abandonment us. Today it’s the anniversary of his death, you remember?

“Yes mom…”

“Well, go to your room and don’t fuck with me. Goddamn, what causes a teenage madness”

Harleen didn't want to listen to her mother anymore, she just walked with his dinner in her hand to her room and locked herself in. She was trying to eat she cereal as the tears overflowed from her eyes. She wanted to remember the events of ten years ago, and all they provoked was that she would end up crying more and more. She left the plate in her dressing table, took off her clothes to put on her silk pajamas and lay down on her bed.

She was trying to sleep, but in a place like Gotham, and especially at that time, it was even harder to sleep. But she could have it asleep. However, her dreams did not usually be quiet, the next day she woke up alarmed.

She stayed in her bed for a couple of minutes.

The life always be like this, without having a chance to change everything?

Leaving thinking, she got up, showered and began with the same routine of the previous day.

After an hour she arrived at the hospital, and before entering, she said to herself a couple of words:

"Nothing that happened yesterday really happened. No matter how much affects you, Harleen, get on with your life, and pretend that everything goes well in it, you could do it for a decade, you can do it a year here...

Harleen entered the hospital and with a shy smile on her face, greeted everyone who was there:

“Good morning everyone!

...

"Oh yes, I'm the great pretender

Pretending I'm doing well

My need is such I pretend too much

I'm lonely but no one can tell"

- Freddie Mercury - "The great pretender"

[thewritingcaptain]

A Failed Homecoming (Chapter 3)

It was time to call May and tell her what had happened - the abridged version of it, anyway. He would need her permission to handle some of the paperwork in the aftermath of this anyway, and he couldn't keep this from her any longer. He just hoped she didn't try to keep Peter from him when she found out.

The next few hours were some of the most agonizing of his life.

By the time Tony had reached the nearest hospital, the kid was limp and lifeless in his arms - with the exception of the occasional seizure, of course. He was glad for the suit, because without it, he might not have been able to hold on to him at all, let alone with as hard as he himself was shaking.

He still had the bag with the clothes strapped onto his back, but there was no time to change him, and little need for it anymore. The outfit that had once passed for his old suit was unrecognizable now, between the blood soaking it, the various rips and tears in it, and the fact it was half disintegrated from the electrocutions. Even Tony himself wouldn't have known what he was wearing if he hadn't seen the video of him in it before his arrival.

At least he didn't have to lie to the paramedics about what happened as he dropped the kid in the ER. It was simple enough to cover up his involvement as Spider-Man by simply saying that he had been abducted to use against him because of a presumed relationship they had, and the reasons behind Tony bringing him in and the circumstances surrounding the injuries were soon forgotten by the medical personnel when he told them exactly how he'd gotten them and what he'd been through.

Now, Tony sat in the waiting room, alone, pacing back and forth as he waited to hear some kind of news. He'd already called Pepper and Happy to let them know that he had the kid and to tell them to alert the police about the Vulture's escape, but he didn't have any more information for them than that. And he was so not looking forward to calling May. He still hadn't done so, largely because he didn't want to call her simply with news of what had happened but no explanation of Peter's condition. There was no point in calling until he knew something.

It was an agonizing few hours that he spent pacing that small waiting room, waiting desperately for news of the kid. When a doctor finally came out of the double doors to talk to him, he practically leapt at her.

The news she carried wasn't good, but it wasn't the worst case scenario, either. He was damaged, yes, but he was alive. Damaged he could work with; dead, on the other hand, he could not.

He allowed himself to be escorted to the room they were keeping him in and nodded to the nurses before coming in. What greeted him wasn't a pretty sight.

The kid was absolutely plastered with tubes and machines. He had one attached to both his chest and his head, an IV in one arm, an oxygen mask strapped onto his face, and a leg casted and placed into one of those hanging slings to keep it elevated above his heart. That was just what Tony could see. Under his gown, he knew there was at least one open wound in his side and a few broken ribs that had been wrapped, and his head was also swaddled in bandages on the one side. Lord only knew what else.

But he was alive, and breathing on his own, and that was enough for now. Tony took a steadying breath as he seated himself in the hospital chair and pulled out his phone. It was time to call May and tell her what had happened - the abridged version of it, anyway. He would need her permission to handle some of the paperwork in the aftermath of this anyway, and he couldn't keep this from her any longer.

He just hoped she didn't try to keep Peter from him when she found out.

Taking a deep breath again, he pulled out his phone and placed the call.

May picked up on the second ring, despite not knowing his number. Maybe she was just desperate enough to know where he'd gotten off to by that point that she was answering all the calls. "Hello?"

The panic in her voice broke his heart, as did the fact that he was going to have to solidify it. "May, this is Tony Stark. Do you remember me?" Not the best way to start off, maybe, but better than just blurting out the news.

"Mr. Stark? Listen, with all due respect, I'm in the middle of something right now, so-"

"I know." He closed his eyes. "Peter is missing. I'm with him now, though. I found him. Or rather…" he swallowed. This was the tricky part. "His captor found me."

May was so quiet on the other end of the line for a moment that he was genuinely worried that she'd either passed out or had some kind of heart attack. "May?" he asked cautiously.

"I-... I'm here." Her voice was barely more than a whisper. "What's going on, Tony?"

"Before I tell you that, let me just tell you that he's hurt, but he's with me now and he's gonna be okay. Okay? Can you trust me on that much?"

"Where is he?"

Tony hissed through his teeth. "We're in the hospital. But he's alright, remember?" he added quickly at the pained noise from the other side. "I'd tell you which one, but it's out of state and I don't actually know. I just got him to the quickest one as fast as I could."

"What happened to him?" Her voice broke slightly, and something in his chest seemed to crack at the sound. He may well have a heart attack before this day was over.

"I…" Tony stopped, trying to think of the best way to put it. He couldn't give her the whole truth, not yet, not until Peter was ready to tell her, which he clearly hadn't been, and he couldn't add that to her pain right now anyway. As furious as he himself was with Peter for putting himself in harm's way, he didn't need May to be as well. It was better for her to think the blame was all on him. "Peter was abducted. Someone knew of his connection with me because of the internship and tried to ransom him back to me." There. Not good, but close enough to the truth.

"Oh, Peter." He could hear the tears in her voice, and suddenly he found himself blinking back a few of his own. No, he wasn't going to cry. Not here, not right now. "How did you know? How did you get him back?"

"I… was at the Tower when the guy called me off of Peter's phone. I tracked it to them, gave the guy the money." So much more had happened than that, but he couldn't bring himself to tell her half of what had happened in between.

"How much?"

"It doesn't matter. Trust me when I say it was pocket change for me, May. I just… I would have given anything to get him back, alright? It honestly doesn't matter." He looked down, picking some imaginary lint off his pants, just to have something to focus on that wasn't the flashbacks of the kid's face while he was in pain, or his broken body in front of him. "This whole thing is my fault, May, and I am… so sorry for what happened that I can't even express it. If I had ever thought for a minute that this could happen…" He didn't even know what to say. He would have spared no expenses to keep him safe. "I would have done everything in my power to make sure it didn't. And if you don't want him to continue with the internship, then I completely understand, and I will respect that." Even if it kills me. "I just… would still like to be allowed to check up on him, if you don't mind."

"Oh, Tony." Her voice broke again, and he knew she was crying on the other side. "I would never keep you from seeing him, and I could never take the internship away from him, either. Working with you means so much to him." Funny, considering he had no idea what he did when he said he was interning with him, but now wasn't the time or the place to reveal that. "The fact that you can even say half of what you just did is enough to tell me everything I need to know."

Some of the tension drained from his body as he processed the relief. "Thank you, May. I honestly don't know what else to say. Apologizing won't change what happened, but I can assure you it will never happen again."

"I know it won't. And it's not your fault, Tony. You couldn't have known this would happen. I'm just so grateful that you got to him in time." She stopped for a moment, and he waited patiently, knowing she was trying just as hard to keep her composure as he was. "How is he? Do you know anything yet?"

"Yes, I talked to the doctor right before I called you." He sat back in the chair, staring at Peter's nearly obscured form. "It's a long list," he warned quietly.

"Just tell me."

Tony closed his eyes. "As of right now, he has a broken leg, broken foot, a few broken ribs, a wound in his side, and a concussion. They think he's having sensory issues due to nerve damage, and they detected a mild cardiac arrhythmia that should straighten itself out." Hopefully, if the kid could go more than a few hours without being shocked. "And… he's having seizures."

"Cardiac distress? Seizures? Nerve damage?" Her voice was so high that he winced slightly. "What the hell happened to him?"

He wet his lips, looking down. "Sources say he tried to fight off the guy who abducted him. Nasty fight, some nasty conks to the head, probably where most of the wounds come from, although we won't be sure until he wakes up. And…" this was the worst. Why did he have to tell her this? "I… think he may have been shocked once or twice." Or three or four times. And electrocution was closer to accurate of what he experienced than a small shock, but he couldn't bring himself to tell her that.

"Oh, God." She was really crying now. "What makes you think that?"

"The symptoms, and, well…" he closed his eyes again, his face contorting as he tried to block out the pain himself. "I may have seen it happen."

"How many times?"

The shaking in his voice mirrored hers as he answered. "Twice." His voice was barely a whisper. It was all he could manage. "It was probably the most horrible thing I've ever seen." Tied right up there with believing he'd watched Pepper fall to her death.

They were both quiet for a long minute. The only sound was May sniffling softly as she tried to get herself together. Finally, she said, "I'm so sorry, Tony. But thank you so much for what you did. He's… he's like my son."

Tony stood up slowly, walking over to the kid and looking down at him. He longed to reach out and touch him, but he knew it would just hurt him. "Yeah. Mine too."

Again, that horrible silence. "How is he?"

"I don't know if I can say fine, considering his injuries, but he's doing alright. He's unconscious but stable. They're keeping him sedated until they can figure out where the seizures are coming from and what to do about it." His eyes flicked to the nodes attached to the kid's head before he forced them away again.

"Will they be permanent?"

"I don't know yet." He shook his head. "They've all been short and lower level, which is a good sign. It could be a result of the shocks or the concussion or both. There's no way to tell yet."

"When can I see him?"

Tony sighed heavily. "I don't know. I want to get him out of here, at least to a better hospital, but I'm trying to let them get all the preliminary stuff done, at least. I don't want to risk moving him before he's ready. And I would like to see him wake up first." He paused. "I'll probably need your permission for a lot of that. They took him because of his state and they've only given me as much as they have because I brought him," and because he was Tony freaking Stark and no one dared challenge him, "But legally they shouldn't have. If I start trying to give orders they'll want your consent."

"Of course. If you figure out where you're at and text me the number, I'll call in and get it handled." She paused for a minute. "But one more thing before you go."

"Anything," he responded without hesitation.

"I… Do you have a plan for when he gets out? I still have to work, and I don't think I'll have the time to give him the care and attention he'll need. I can't afford not to go."

Shit. He had been so worried about the here and now he hadn't really thought about letting the kid go home and what would happen once he got there. He really didn't want him out of his sight again, which he knew was completely infeasible but not an illogical response to what had happened.

And May… she was right. Of course, it wasn't as though he couldn't fund them plenty for as long as she needed to be off work, but she didn't seem like the type of woman who took handouts well, and if he had to guess, her job was probably one of the few things holding her together at this point. He knew that feeling.

He also knew that he didn't want to leave him. In his mind, he knew there was a seemingly simple solution to both of these problems, but… was he ready for that? Most days he could hardly take care of himself, let alone the kid. And what would happen if the other Avengers showed up at the tower? And with the move… how could he balance that, honestly?

"I…" He swallowed thickly. He could figure all that out later, if May even said yes. Peter was the most important thing right now. "I could take him."

"What?"

"I mean, he could stay with me. Most of the time, I mean. You know, until he's better. You'd still have full access to him, of course, and I'm not exactly experienced with taking care of someone, I admit, but between Pepper and Happy and I, we could figure out. Take shifts, or something." He was rambling, he knew, but as soon as the words were out of his mouth he was struck with an overwhelming fear that he'd overstepped, and that May would change her mind about him even being able to see him, so he found himself fumbling to justify his offer.

"Oh. Oh." May stopped for a moment, and he thought his heart stopped too. "That's really kind of you, but I couldn't ask you to do that."

"It's not asking. I'm offering." He looked down at him, reaching up and brushing the kid's hair from his face, careful to avoid touching his skin. "I'd be thrilled to have him. Besides, it's the least I could do, considering this whole thing is my fault." Which was all the more reason she'd be justified in saying no.

May went silent, and he said nothing, knowing nothing else he could say would do much for her. "Alright, then," she said at last. "Let me know when you're on your way back to the city, then. I'll meet you at the Tower?"

"That sounds great. I'll keep you updated, May."

"Thank you." He knew those two words went so much deeper and were for more than just promising to keep her updated.

"Anytime," he said, and meant it. Then she hung up, and he lowered the phone, staring at it for a long minute before putting it away.

He'd done everything he could. Now all that was left to do was sit there and wait.

[the-devil-herself]

Never Enough - Chapter 9

CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: Chapter 9 DESCRIPTION: Certain mates of Jotuns receive soulmate marks on their bodies. What happens when Loki’s mark is found on a girl with immense power? RATING: M NOTES/WARNINGS: Plot development!! Hope you enjoy, all feedback is welcome!

TAGGED: @kneel-before-queen-loki​ @lokis-girl-in-mischief @tarithenurse

Sunlight trickled through the windows, illuminating the book I had in my hands. It was on the history of the Assyrian Empire in Mesopotamia. I needed something to draw my mind away from the events of the past three days. Reading always calmed me down.

The doctors had kept Loki in the hospital room for observation. They wanted to be absolutely sure that no other seizures or accidents would occur. But he seemed fine. Thor was with him every hour to hear his whining about being kept as a lab rat.

Clint visited once. He didn’t say much, only asked to see if Loki was okay then left. It was a start.

The other Avengers came in and out bringing food and drinks. They seemed to have accepted him as an ally at the least, and they didn’t treat him as an outcast anymore.

Meanwhile, I brought him books to keep him occupied, which Thor was always thankful for. He hadn’t asked me about my powers since, even though I dodged the question because the doctor interrupted us. I had a feeling he hadn’t dropped it but simply saving it for a better time. I wasn’t looking forward to it.

Another issue was my mark. It was burning like crazy again, on and off for three days. It was like the intimate contact I made with Loki set off an explosive inside my wrist. I kept looking for things to soothe it, but it was all temporary. I even went to Bruce, lying that it was a kitchen accident with a knife, to see if he had any anecdotes. Nothing worked.

I put a cool bandage around my wrist in place of the bracelet now. I explained it all away to the team, but I couldn’t keep the act up for longer. Kitchen cuts don’t bleed for days. The bandage had to come off soon, but it calmed the burn if only for a slight bit.

“Dana,” a voice called to me. Tony walked in front of my chair and sat down on the couch next to me. I had never seen him in the library before, assuming he had read everything already. “Can we talk?”

I hadn’t exactly been avoiding him the past few days, but I just couldn’t feel comfortable in the same room. What if he still saw me as a monster?

“Sure.” I put the book down, settling in my seat more comfortably.

Tony sighed. “Listen, I realize what I said to you last week was… bad. I didn’t mean for it to come out that way. God, I didn’t mean it at all. I just want you safe and protected, not because you’re a monster but because you’re family.”

“You said I would never be an Avenger,” I started.

“I meant… that you weren’t ready. Maybe I was wrong, but Dana if something were to go wrong, what would the world see you as?”

“You’re worried about what the world thinks? Since when?!”

“Since you were thrown into my life! I want to protect you not just from physical harm but from emotional damage, and having the world hating you counts as that.”

“I’m not worried about their opinions.”

“Yeah, well you should be.” He looked me dead in the eyes. “Their opinions mean everything. They can take away your privileges, your rights, your life. If they don’t like what they see, they will push back.”

“Well then I’ll just have to do my best to not piss off the whole damn world. Sounds easy enough.”

“I’m serious Dana! One wrong move, one innocent life taken, they will be at the gate.” His words were sinking in. He was leaning forward, making sure he had my full attention. “Can you honestly say you’re ready?”

I stuttered. “I… I saved Loki’s life.”

“One life, not in the midst of heavy battle,” he interrupted.

I blanked at that. He was right, I wasn’t fully ready for battle. I could control my powers in a controlled environment, but a real fight was different. And if civilians were around… things could go south for me very quickly.

“Dana, let us keep training you,” he pleaded. “Don’t give up on us yet. You’re here for a purpose, not for imprisonment. We just need a little more time.”

I nodded, defeated. I couldn’t reject the one man who had stuck by my side through all of this.

“Thank you,” he breathed.

He stood up and gave me a big hug. I held him tight, almost tearing up at his love for me. We were all each other had most of the time.

“And another thing,” he added, “Loki is back in his rooms. He’s been released by the medical staff; they say he’s in the clear. You did well kid.”

I smiled at his words but also at the confirmation that Loki was okay. I let out a breath I feel I had been holding in for days.

Before Tony walked out of the library, he turned to me, smirking. “And he wants to see you.”

“See me?” I exclaimed.

Tony shrugged. “Evidently so. But if he gets too friendly, I’ll kick his ass.”

Chuckling, I stood up to follow him. We parted ways when he turned to go to the lab and I kept straight to the resident area.

I felt my heart skipping a few beats. What could Loki want? He was probably going to interrogate me on my powers now that he was able to be alone in his rooms again. I had no idea what I was going to say to him. I wasn’t confident in my ability to lie to the God of Lies’ face. Surely, he would know!

The walk to his rooms seemed far too short, but there I was. I took deep breaths, willing my heart and mind to steady so I could be more composed in front of him. But I was also facing the issue of calming my heart from the excitement of seeing him.

I had a crush! What was this? It didn’t seem like an ordinary crush. Feeling so intensely for someone so fast. And a god at that, who wouldn’t think of me like that in a million years. But there was something there, between us. I swear I felt it. Did he?

Okay, Dana calm down. It was time. I knocked on the door, eager and dreadful of the next step. The burning in my wrist made an appearance. It was like it could tell when he was near, like it wanted something. But what?

I scoffed at myself. This was all silly, just romantic notions in my head getting out of control. The burning was something medical, and it needed to stop soon. Very soon.

I heard footsteps approaching the door. I breathed in as much air as I could take in, praying that this was just a “thanks for saving my life” conversation. But doubtful.

Suddenly, the door opened.

[insanelycooljk]

You mentioned ⚡⚡⚡was the worst for angst so now I Have To Ask

send me the title of one of my deh wips and I’ll share an excerpt/tell you a bit about it  

Ok I definitely only mentioned that because I was hoping someone might ask about it lmao. I’d argue that this is more like... hurt than angst, but it’s gonna be hurt/comfort, so hopefully the sweet moments make up for it. You can expect a lot of soft kleinsen lol.

This one it was like 3am and there was a huge storm outside. I was sitting by my window watching the lightning, I’d just finished reading Trying Through the Trauma and a particular scene was on my mind (if you’ve read it you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about, and if you haven’t I highly reccomend it because that fic is wonderful, the world-building is INSANE).

So given all of that, plus my apparent desire to just hurt all the characters I love, my brain was like “hey... what if Jared got struck by lightning?”

Which I KNOW sounds absolutely ridiculous and like some kind of crack fic, but just bare with me here ok.

For maximum angst, the fic begins with Jared storming out of Evan’s house after a fight.

I haven’t worked out all of the details of the fight yet, but basically there was an attempt at an apology/discussion of Evan’s letter that didn’t go so well and things got a bit heated.

Jared’s hurt and angry, so he runs away because that’s what he does.

It’s absolutely pissing down, it’s at least a 15/20 minute walk back to his house, but Jared’s a stubborn bastard and he just needs to get out of there.

Evan’s stuck in his head trying to process how the hell that went so badly, because he’s hurt and angry too, but then a particulary loud clap of thunder snaps him out of his thoughts. He’s not sure why the hell Jared walked here instead of drove (it was because he wanted the extra time to try and plan what he was going to say to Evan), but Heidi will kill him if she finds out he just let Jared walk all the way home in this weather.

So he runs outside after Jared to tell him to stop being an idiot and at least just wait until it stops raining so much

And of course Evan catches up with Jared just in time to see him get struck

Evan is just frozen in absolute horror because what the fuck. What the fuck. Who the hell gets struck by lightning!? That just doesn’t happen in real life. What the fuck.

His brain finally catches up to him and he rushes over to Jared who’s just convulsing on the ground.

Evan’s hands are shaking but he manages to call 911. Once the ambulance is on their way he’s just staring helplessly at Jared still seizing on the ground, and all he can think is Jared is going to die and the last thing they did was fight.

Another minute or so passes and Jared’s seizure suddenly ends. Evan’s just holding his breath because he has no idea what he should do. Being a nurse and all, Heidi’s taught him how to do basic CPR incase of emergencies, but Evan’s in such a state of panic that he can’t do anything

And then Jared opens his eyes. It takes a second for the pain to catch up to him, the ringing in his ears is loud and oh fuck everything hurts his whole body is on fire

Evan is freaking the fuck out now that Jared is awake and crying, and he’s desperately trying to comfort him and is begging the ambulance to hurry the fuck up. And god this is so much worse now that Jared’s conscious, because Jared just doesn’t break down. The last time Evan probably saw him cry was when he stacked it on his bike when they were kids (unless you count the unshed tears shining in his eyes during their gfy fight and most recent fight, which Evan is pointedly NOT counting lmao, he can’t deal with that right now)

Anyway, the paramedics finally arrive and give Jared some serious painkillers and take him to the hospital because honestly they’re not really sure what to do either. It’s not like there’s a special “lightning strike survivor” class in the paramedicine curriculum lol. Jared didn’t go into cardiac arrest or anything so that’s a good sign, but he’s obviously in pain and he’s got some really nasty burns that need looking at so he’s clearly not fine.

And of course, for more maximum angst, they take him to the hospital Heidi works at. Because of course they do. Heidi’s had a fairly quiet night at work, or at least as as quiet as it can be working at a hospital. But then she overhears something about a kid who got struck by lightning!? And Heidi is like damn… well that doesn’t happen every day. She’s currently on her break but she’s understandably pretty curious, so she decides she’ll just go see what’s going on.

Which of course leads to her finding an extremely distraught looking Evan who is absolutely drenched, and any other thoughts are gone from her mind instantly.

Evan all but collapses into her arms. She’s holding him tightly as he just sobs and sobs and he’s shivering and so cold and why is he so wet? And obviously Heidi just wants to be there for him but the she’s starting to panic and she needs to know what’s wrong. She pulls away, still holding his shoulders tightly, to look him in the face.

“Evan, honey talk to me. What happened?” And he just manages to choke out “It’s Jared, it’s…. he,” but he can’t get the words out because he keeps being interrupted by his own sobs. And now Heidi is really worried because what happened with Jared? Is he ok? “He…” Evan can’t continue because he just lets out this choked cry and breaks into even harder sobs. Which causes Heidi to promptly pull him close again.

Evan is just, exhausted. Like, he was so tense and upset after the fight with Jared, and then THAT happened, and he’s been doing his best to not completely fall apart so he could explain what happened to the paramedics, but it’s just all so much, and all he wants his mum to hold him and tell him everything’s going to be ok.

“He’s hurt,” Evan says finally once his breathing is bit more under control and he can finally speak again. “He…. there was lightning and, and-”

And Heidi’s heart just stops because she suddenly remembers the boy that supposedly got struck by lightning and she does not like where this is going.

Jared’s mostly ok physically. He’s got some really nasty burns and he’s in a lot of pain, plus the strike was super loud so he’s got some bad tinnitus, but nothing that really needs monitoring. So he’s only in the hospital for a couple of days.

However, the thing with lightning strikes is it can do a lot of weird neurological damage that scientists and doctors don’t really understand yet. So a lot of survivors suffer from things like personality changes, mood swings, memory loss and chronic pain.

So in terms of symptoms for Jared he struggles with chronic pain. It’s not like a low-level constant pain, it’s more episodes where he’s in extreme pain for a short period of time and then it fades away again. He got struck on his shoulder, so the pain flares up on his shoulder and down his arm on that side of his body.

His burns take a while to heal, and whilst his tinnitus gets much better it’s always there to an extent. He’s also got some issues with fatigue, it’s not terrible but he definitely gets tired more easily than he used to.

Jared doesn’t really have any issues with like, personality changes or anything, but the whole experience was pretty tramautic, so his mental health definitely isn’t great right now.

Obviously, Jared’s pretty fucking terrified of thunderstorms now. He pretty much just refuses to leave his house if there’s a storm.

One time he’s driving himself and Evan home from school and it starts raining and he just – refuses to leave the car. There’s not even thunder but the sky is dark and it’s raining pretty heavily and Evan’s all like “It’s ok, come on. It’s two metres. Just take my hand and we’ll run inside together ok?” And poor Jared is having a panic attack, just gasping for air, and he’s shaking his head and saying “I can’t.”

And Evan kinda tries a couple more suggestions to coax him inside, because like they literally just have to walk from the driveway to Evan’s front door. There is a 0% chance that anything would happen in the 5 seconds it would take to get inside, and there isn’t even any thunder, it’s just raining heavily.

Eventually he gives up and they just sit in the car together waiting for the storm to pass. Evan can’t help but think how ironic it is that he’s the one who has to help Jared through his own panic attacks now.

But the main complications Jared struggles with are the cognititve issues. Jared’s always been pretty smart and has done well in school, so he finds it really hard to deal with.

He REALLY struggles with his memory at first. Mainly short-term memory. He’ll do things like make lunch multiple times because he forgot he ate already. He struggles with reading and writing and keeps tripping over his sentences. It all improves a lot over time, but it never quite gets 100% better.

But yeah, that’s kind of the hardest part for Jared because it’s just frustrating and confusing. It causes him a lot of distress because it makes him feel so stupid.

One time when he’s really struggling with it, maybe whilst trying to do work for school, Jared just breaks down about it because he just feels so frustrated. He ends up crying into Evan’s shoulder and going “I just want to be better”

Evan says nothing, because he’s been doing an obsessive amount of research and the truth is Jared might not ever be “better” again, and he doesn’t want to lie to Jared. Well, he certainly wants to, we all know about Evan’s lying issues lmao. He desperately wants to tell Jared comforting lies like “it’s ok” and “there’s nothing wrong with you” and “of course you’ll get better” but he holds his tongue because he knows he can’t lie to Jared, not about this.

ANYWAY ahahaha, I got a little carried away with this one but I’ve got a LOT of feelings about it. It will end up with kleinsen because I couldn’t resist, so on that note I do have just one last point I HAVE to share 🥺

So a lot of people who get struck by lightning end up with these really kind of beautiful looking scars called Lichtenberg figures. They normally only last a day or two (although I did read about one guy where they lasted like a month) but uhh.... I will be taking some artisitic liberities there lmao because imaging Evan gently tracing over Jared’s scars when they finally get together? Good shit.