#can i please not be guided by fear every step of the way

[barbarianbookhoe]

Chapter 12

Forever falls Apart

A/N: I know I promised not to disappear for months again, but hey, I finished first semester of university with straight A's, so that's a win😅 This is a long ass one!

We are on the highway to hell for the next 2-3 chapters, I LOVE YOU GUYS THO

P. S. Mind you, I'm on my third rewatch of Glee while writing this

[Lil' guide: the divided parts are flashbacks, and the things said in "this format" are !SPOILER! 's voice echoing.]

Taglist: @kiraflowersworld @vainillasmil157 @bookloverfilmoholic @so-get-this-sammy @ell0ra-br3kk3r @hufflepuffprincessbabe @pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy @bitterspoons @wonderland2425 @noorie101

Fear has a habit of altering even the sanest of minds. It's like a disease, a plague that clouds your every thought until you are nothing but a mere semblance of the person you were before. It can cloud any reasonable logic you have, making you act irrationally.

And it can make you completely useless. Frozen like a statue. Disconnected from reality. Indifferent to what's happening around you. Trapped with your thoughts. Speechless.

Kaz stood and watched as Y/N fell from the sky, leaving a pool of blood where she sank into the sea. He watched as he waited for her to come up and wave to them, probably cursing about the cold water and her wet clothes. He waited, and waited, and waited, but she never emerged. Her voice was ringing in his ears.

"Promise me, Kaz. If I show symptoms of an addiction, promise me you won't give any jurda to me. Even if it means I'll die."

Kaz felt the urge to throw up. He held onto the railing of the ship with all his might, no doubt that his knuckles were turning white under the gloves. His heart was beating loudly in his ears, making him deaf to anything else.

The feeling came suddenly and Kaz feared he was going to drown in it. His breathing became rigid as he tried to keep any ounce of control he had left in him.

"We are soldiers."

Kaz blinked and out of nowhere Jesper and Inej were looking at him, terrified. Why was Jesper completely wet? How long was he standing there? Did they found her? Or has the sea claimed her forever?

"She won't wake up," Jesper told him with a trembling voice, tears burning his eyes. Matthias was taking off his fur, while Nina began the chest compression, using her powers to restart her heart.

Her hands were already covered in blood.

Inej and Wylan stood a few steps away from them, their eyes full of horror. Kaz saw the people around him speak, but the sounds didn't reach his ears.

Oh.

"If it comes down to it, let me die. Don't let me suffer. Please, Kaz, promise me."

That suffocating feeling returned much stronger, and it made Kaz unable to speak. He couldn't look away from the limp body that was holding him mere minutes ago. The bile rose in his throat, but Kaz refused to throw up. He felt sick, and all he could think of was the fact that now Y/N was just another one of the cold bodies that were suffocating him.

Kaz felt like his heart could stop any second, but he was physically unable to take his eyes off of her. Every attempt Nina made at reuscitating Y/N felt like a twist to the knife in his chest.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Will you ever tell me-"

"Y/N." She interrupted him and for a second Kaz just looked at her, utterly confused.

"What?" He asked, but the girl just smiled back at him.

"You were going to ask my name. It's Y/N." Kaz only nodded, but he was already testing her name in his mind. Y/N. Y/N. He found it way too casual a name for someone like her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There was a muffled sound coming from next to him. Someone was trying to speak to him. Kaz didn't know who it was, and he didn't really care either. Y/N was dying. Or was she already dead? Should he go over to her? Check her pulse? Make sure she's alive? For that to happen, Kaz would've had to move and touch her skin.

Cold. Numb. Red. Void of any sign of life.

"I will march with you in times of war."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Do it." Kaz demanded on a quiet voice, but Y/N just giggled. "No." Kaz asked again as he leaned heavily on his cane, visibly drunk. "Y/N, pleaseee."

"Absolutely not. Now get inside," she told him, pointing to the open door of his room. Kaz shook his head and tried to keep his face neutral, but his blown pupils betrayed his inebriated state.

Y/N rolled her eyes, but a laugh escaped her. "This is the last time I turned into a cat while you're drunk."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cold. She must be feeling cold.

Kaz's movements were rigid, like he didn't even process what he was doing as he took his coat off and walked closer to Y/N's body on the floor. Then he stopped as if rethinking his decision, when he raised his gaze and noticed Jesper and Inej sobbing.

His first thought was that something must be really wrong if Jesper was uncontrollably sobbing. Jesper was an emotional person, but Kaz had never seen him cry, not even once.

To see him nearly choke on his own tears felt wrong to Kaz.

He looked at his coat in his hands, gripping the fabric so tight he might as well could've tore it apart. Kaz tried to control his erratic breathing, but it was harder and harder to do, the longer he kept staring at Y/N's body. The only color she had left was her own blood coating her. Kaz lowered the coat in his hand. She won't need it anymore.

Kaz felt the stares from the others, but he didn't dare look at them. He couldn't. How could he? He knew the kind of look they were giving him. Sadness. Grief. Pity. More pity. More sadness. He didn't need it. He didn't need their pity, he needed Y/N.

His Y/N. His best friend. His wife. Them staring at him with pitiful looks won't bring her back.

"I will rest with you in times of peace."

Kaz could still feel the way she was grabbing onto him on the tank. How she was holding him like he would disappear if she didn't. And after she ripped herself away from him, for one fleeting second, Kaz could see the guilt in her eyes.

That one second was already haunting him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She was standing so close to him, Kaz could almost feel her heart beating. He looked at her like she was going to disappear if he didn't.

Her eyes had a faint glint in them from all the candles that she lit earlier. Kaz raised a hand to cup the side of her face and when she gently leaned into his touch, Kaz let out a gasp of breath he didn't even realize he was holding.

Y/N just smiled at him, and Kaz decided then and there he was going to change.

For the better, for Jordie…and for her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He turned away from them. He felt his eyes burning and Kaz knew if he didn't leave, he was going to break down in front of them, no matter how strong his self-control was.

This was his breaking point. Losing his brother, the only family he had left, was like a death sentence to him. He couldn't go a day without something reminding him of his absence.

Then Kaz stumbled upon Y/N. Or rather, she stumbled upon him. She was annoying and too talkative, always making some noise and seeking Kaz's company whenever he was in the same room as her. Kaz did everything to avoid her, but she was persistent and eventually Kaz got used to her constant presence. He would've never admitted it, but sometimes he asked for her companion on purpose. Although he always had a made-up excuse for it.

Kaz stepped away from them, slowly, as if he was in a daze. In a way he was. His mind kept replaying every moment they spent together. Wether it was the two of them, or a mission, or just another night at the Crow Club. Every single interaction they had ever since they have met ran through his mind.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"No matter how hard I try to erase you from my mind, you sneak back in by simply existing. It's… frustrating," Kaz said as he dragged himself to his feet, every fiber of his being drenched in the harbor's water.

Then he looked at her, and he felt his heart stop at the way she was looking at him, like he was something worth looking at.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There was a gentle tap on his shoulder and Kaz aggressively hit the hand away, not even looking at who it was. He kept walking, not really knowing where. The chamber? The bottom of the ship? Back to her? Should he sit down? Should he continue with the plan? He would have to create a new one, without…her.

"I will forever be the weapon in your hand, the fighter at your side, the friend who awaits your return."

Kaz didn't plan this far. He didn't plan for this, because he was sure he was going to be the one to die. His death seemed most likely to happen. Not hers. Ghezen, not her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Raffiel's fiancé stood near Kaz, watching him with a suspicious gaze. Kaz didn't know what to make of it, so he turned to her with a questioning look.

"You're just another fool under that cold exterior." She said with a faint smile as she watched Kaz look back and stare at Y/N.

"Watch out, Brekker. You look like you're falling."

I think I already did, Kaz thought to himself as he left the room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What was he supposed to tell her family? What was he supposed to say to her brother, when he left basically saying she was going to come home, and not him? What was going to happen when Raffiel saw Kaz return, without her?

He would probably beat Kaz until he's nothing but a sack of bones and meat. Or shapeshift into a wolf, or a dog, or something predatory and tear him limb from limb. Kaz would take the punishment gladly. He decided that if Raffiel attacked him, he will let him.

There was another tap on his shoulder, but it was harsher, urging him to look at them. Kaz refused to, even when they stepped in front of him and began shouting at him. The closeness of the other person finally made Kaz look up, only to see Jesper's tear stained face.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The bottle was already half empty when Kaz finally decided to sign the papers. The papers he specifically asked for. With every signature, he took another sip from the glass. He finished the bottle too quickly for his liking. Everytime he wrote the name down, a part of him wanted to burn the papers, but the other part stopped himself from doing so. He told himself he was only being cautious, that this was the rational thing to do. But deep down Kaz knew that it would take all of his strength to control himself and not run to Y/N. The wedding ring was practically burning in his pocket.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kaz got lost in his thoughts again, and Jesper desperately tried to make him understand what he was saying. As he took in the empty look in Kaz's eyes, Jesper felt like he was talking to a ghost, rather than a human person. He never could read the emotions on Kaz's face, but this time it felt as if Kaz was drained of every emotion. Jesper could see it in his eyes that Kaz's mind was elsewhere, somewhere far away from the present.

"I have seen you change at the bottom of the world."

"For fuck's sake Kaz, are you even listening to me?!" Kaz heard Jesper shout into his face, and he looked at him. Jesper still didn't know if Kaz was actually hearing his words, but he kept speaking once again. "She's breathing Kaz. She's alive." He said and felt himself tear up again.

Kaz only looked back at him with slightly furrowed brows. Internally he was confused. Why was Jesper saying this? Why is he lying to him? Was this his way of trying to…console him? He didn't need consolation. Didn't need their pity.

Jesper's words made Kaz feel like someone just punched him after a fight, right before shooting him. Jesper must've noticed his confusion, because he looked into Kaz's eyes, not breaking eyecontact, hoping Kaz would finally understand him.

"She. Is. Alive." Jesper's words were firm, not leaving room for discussion. Kaz turned visibly confused, but Jesper just repeated his words. Kaz grew more and more confused, as Inej walked up to them. Kaz was glancing between the two of them, his brows furrowed, the confusion turning into irritation.

"Nina is taking care of her. She's too weak, but she's breathing." Inej informed him, but then her expression turned softer. "Look at her, Kaz. She's alive." She nodded behind Kaz, where Nina was still crying, accompanied by a relieved smile.

Kaz was almost sure his own mind was playing tricks on him. A joke. This must be a cruel joke. He must have been in so much distress and shock that he began hallucinating. The floorboards swayed under him, but that could've been caused by the waves crashing against the ship. Either way, it felt like everything was spinning around him.

He became dizzy, and soon the familiar feeling of bile rising in his throat got his attention. Kaz focused so hard on trying not to empty the contents of his stomach that he didn't even notice when he was left alone.

His heart was beating too loud. Breathing felt impossible. There were multiple voices around him, muffled by his own heartbeat. His vision was blurry and the cane in his hand did nothing to help him walk. In just a few seconds, Kaz walked as far away as he could from the group, and when he was sure they couldn't see him, he leaned over the railing and threw up.

The cold wind did nothing to ease his nausea. Kaz felt like he was back on the barge, suffocating under the mountains of bodies. He closed his eyes to try and get a grip on himself, but as soon as he did, the image of Y/N falling from the sky replayed in his head. There was too much blood. She was covered in it.

"There is no one more loved by me Kaz Brekker, stubborn and unbreakable."

Her voice was the only thing Kaz was able to hear, and it felt like torture to him.

"Let me die."

The air was being sucked out of his lungs, and Kaz gripped the railing like his life depended on it.

"Please don't let me suffer."

There were footsteps around him and Kaz felt the presence of someone towering over him. He didn't even realize he was bending down, clutching at his chest, his breathing uncontrollable.

"Promise me, Kaz."

The anger grew in him rapidly. Her voice was haunting him. Kaz hated how easy it was to miss her, how he could recognize the change in her attitude just by her voice, how it took up space in his head, but most of all, he hated that the only thing he could think about in that moment was the fact that he was never going to hear her again.

"What about Death?"

"It takes more than death to get rid of me."

Kaz let out a humorless scoff. "Liar," he whispered to himself. Stubborn. Reckless. Convincing. She was probably the best liar Kaz had ever met, second only after him.

"In this life and the next."

Why couldn't it be this one? They just got married. Y/N just realized how to be herself, not despite, but with her power. Kaz was just at the beginning of his redemption. If saints and gods did exist, Kaz couldn't understand why they would let Y/N die.

Y/N died.

She was dead.

Dead.

Dead.

Dead.

Y/N died. She's dead. Y/N is dead.

Dead.

At the edge of his vision Kaz glared at the sea like it was responsible for her death. Instead of blue, all he could see was red. The blood that coated her body. Blood, unfathomable amount of blood, that made it seem like she bathed in it.

How did she lose so much blood? Was there even that much in her? Kaz didn't know that much about biology or anatomy, but he knew losing so much blood was fatal.

Jesper and Inej shared concerned glances at Kaz's state. They retreated with a few steps after Kaz almost stabbed Jesper with the beak of his cane. His eyes were red, like he was holding back from crying, but despite that it seemed as if he was unaware of his surroundings. He would occasionally start to hyperventilate, only to abruptly stop and stare ahead of him, his mind being completely elsewhere.

The others didn't really know what to make of it, but Jesper and Inej, being the ones who knew him the longest outside of Y/N, they knew he was suffering internally. Kaz didn't really show his emotions, he wasn't the kind of person to express it outwardly. And for him to be so detached from reality that he didn't even hear what they were saying, for him to be completely locked inside his mind meant that he was overwhelmed. He was overwhelmed with his emotions and this was the only way he knew how to process the heavy load.

Jesper had an arm around Inej's shoulder, resting his head on top of hers. He was trying to muffle a sniffle, but Inej noticed it and looked up at him. "She's here, Jesper. She's still here with us," she tried to reassure him and Jesper looked up at the sky for a moment, sniffling.

"I just, I don't know what I would've done if she didn't make it." He let go of Inej to fidget with the rings on his fingers, hoping to ease his nerves. It didn't help.

"Nina doesn't know if she got affected by the jurda. She says she won't know anything until Y/N wakes up. I pray to the Saints she does," Inej told him and Jesper let out a weak scoff. "I think if she finds out I lost one of my guns, Y/N's going to bring herself out of a coma just to kick my ass." Jesper said it casually and it made Inej let out a soft laugh.

Kaz turned his head at the sound of their laugh. They weren't loud, their laugh was a quiet scoff at most, but still, it reached Kaz's ears. He looked at the two of them with such anger and disgust on his face, that for a second Jesper thought he was going to lash out at them.

He didn't. He kept staring back at them, and they could see the emotions change on his face. It turned from anger to detestation in mere seconds, and now both Jesper and Inej were waiting for Kaz to jump up and start a fight.

The hatred in his eyes shifted just as quickly as it appeared. It turned ito disappointment, raw and deep, and the unfiltered emotions he was showing made the guilt weigh heavy in their chest. Both of them knew how this must've looked from Kaz's view. He thought his wife was dead, and they were here, laughing, as if she was nothing to them.

"Kaz?" Jesper spoke first, trying to get a reaction from him, without triggering him to lash out. He looked back at them with the same glare, slowly getting up from the ground. His movements were predatory, and Jesper instinctively put a hand on his pistol, but with no real intention of using it.

He didn't know what to say. Kaz was standing in front of them, looking like he would burn them with his stare if he could. He took a slow step closer, the cane tapping against the floorboards with a loud click. Jesper finally understood how scary the sound of it actually was, especially in the silence. One wrong word or move, and Kaz was going to snap.

"Y/N is alive." Inej's voice was soft, but it had a firmness that made Kaz glance at her. She didn't break the eyecontact, guessing that Kaz was trying to decipher if she was lying or not. "Y/N is alive. She's injured, and Nina is taking care of her," she explained but the tension didn't leave Kaz's expression.

"She's going to be fine." Jesper added as positively as he could, despite his inner concern. Kaz seemed to be considering their words, still unsure if it was true or not. Jesper and Inej stood there, waiting for Kaz to process everything. Jesper almost let out a loud sigh of relief when the anger from Kaz's expression dissipated. He furrowed his brows as he looked back at them, utterly confused.

Poor Wylan decided to walk over to them at the wrong moment.

He was talking about what Kuwei just revealed about the jurda, and how it could affect Y/N, and the symptoms he noticed on her already. Kuwei stood next to Wylan, glancing at Kaz every two seconds, slightly scared of the way he was looking at them. He was right to feel scared, because Kaz was unusually silent. After Wylan quickly stopped talking, there was a few seconds of silence, where they were all just staring at Kaz, whose face was unreadable.

In three seconds Kaz was gripping the collar of Kuwei's shirt, slamming him down on the railing as if he was about to throw him into the sea. The beak of the crow was already at Kuwei's neck, keeping him from moving too much. His eyes were wide with terror as he looked into Kaz's violent gaze. It was like staring at a wild animal, that was ready to rip him limb from limb.

"Get off him, Kaz!" Jesper shouted and tried to get closer, but Kaz looked back at him with the same animalistic gaze and Jesper immediately stopped. He looked at Inej for help, while holding a hand out sigaling to Wylan to get behind him.

"Kaz, let him go. We need him alive." Inej managed to get to his side, ordering him sternly.

"I don't," Kaz replied, his voice lower than he realized. He loosened his grip on Kuwei, slightly lowering him over the railing. Kuwei began kicking for him to let go, but Kaz just tightened his hold on the silver crow at Kuwei's neck, drawing blood.

"He knows everything about the jurda. He could tell what side effects it might have on-," Wylan told him but he was quickly hushed by Jesper. "You've said enough already!" He ushered him further away from Kaz. Momentarily Kaz loosened his grip on the cane, glancing back where Wylan was standing. Wylan swallowed at the sight of the raw anger in Kaz's eyes.

That didn't stop him from speaking up again. Unfortunately for Wylan, he learned how to be confident at the worst possible moment. This time he really should've tried to be invisible instead of acting confident.

"Kuwei said it's still in her system, making it harder for Nina to heal her, because Y/N's shapeshifting might have made the injuries worse, than they were bef-," Before Wylan could process what was happening, Kaz had a hand around his face, forcing him to look up at him.

"Say it," Kaz seethed furiously, his hand tightening on Wylan's face, making his jaw hurt from the pressure.

"Say her name one more time Merchling, and they'll be uncovering your body for months," he whispered and Wylan tried to nod, but realized he couldn't because of the grip Kaz had on him. Kaz raised one of his brows as he loosened his grip, just enough for Wylan to nod fiercely. Kaz held him for a few more seconds before letting him go.

Four days.

Four damn days.

That's how long Kaz has been avoiding everything and everyone. Whenever one of them asked what the next step was when they got back, his reply was always the same. Stick to the original plan.

He was more like a ghost than a real person at this point. Jesper exchanged concerned looks with Inej, or Nina anytime he found Kaz staring at the horizon, unmoving. He couldn't wrap his head around why Kaz wasn't with you right now. They told him countless times that you were alive and breathing, that you did not die.

But it seemed Kaz was already convinced you were dead. In the past four days Jesper saw more emotion on Kaz than in the years he had known him. He didn't know wether to be concerned or relieved that Kaz was actually expressing what he was feeling.

He decided on the former. Kaz wasn't stable by any means. The emotions he showed weren't exactly positive. Anger, grief, irritation. These were the usual feelings he showed aside from his usual brooding mood.

They were walking on thin ice around him. Any word or movement could set him off and Kaz would take his feelings out on the object closest to him. The group hid most of the things around the ship, before even Specht decided he had enough of Kaz destroying everything.

After each crash out Kaz retreated to the side of the ship, staring out at the water for hours upon hours, once or twice even attempting to walk into the room Nina treated Y/N in. He always failed to do so. The furthest he got was two steps from the door. He couldn't find it in himself to actually look inside and see her.

He was convinced that once he looked, all he would be able to see was her corpse. Then he would realize the others were lying about her survival to keep him from going completely insane. Too late for that, he thought.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On the fifth day Kaz finally willed himself to take those remaining two steps. The only reason he was able to do so was because everyone else was gathered around Nina, who was telling them tales from her childhood, trying to lighten everyone's spirits.

Obviously they didn't notice him slipping away from them. They didn't even know he was eavesdropping on them.

As Kaz stood in front of the door now, his couarge wavered. He would never admit it, probably not even to Y/N, but he never felt so anxious like in that moment. His hand was holding the doorknob for at least five minutes now, debating if he should enter or try again tomorrow.

What are the chances he could do this again? That there wouldn't be anyone to see him hesitate? How many more attempts have to be made before he finally steps inside?

Before he could talk himself out of it, he opened the door and stepped inside, closing the door behind him. At first, Kaz only looked around the dimly lit room, taking in the mess on the table. The first thing he focused on were the multiple clots thrown into a pile on one of the chairs. Bloody clots.

He was so focused on the blood, he didn't notice the movements on the small bed in the corner. He didn't even register the quiet noise, until a raspy voice interrupted his train of thoughts.

"Kaz?" The voice asked shakily, as if they had just woken up.

Kaz didn't turn to them immediately. He took a few seconds to pull himself together, before slowly, agonizingly slowly turned to look at the figure on the bed.

As soon as he looked into Y/N's eyes, Kaz crumbled.

He had to grab onto his cane along with the table so as not to fall to his kness. His legs trembled slightly anyways. The air was knocked from his lungs as he just... stared at her.

She was alive. She was breathing. She was here.

"Kaz?" She asked again, frowning a little when her movement caused her side to jolt in pain.

"Alive," Kaz mumbled under his breath, the words too muffled for Y/N to hear.

"What?" She asked tiredly, her voice no louder than a whisper as she kept staring back at him. Kaz leaned towards her slightly, as if he tried to step closer, but changed his mind and leaned back.

Neither of them broke the eyecontact. The silence was heavy with their unsaid words, the circumstances making it harder for either of them to say what they wanted.

"You're alive." Kaz whispered, but it felt loud in the silence. Y/N looked at him with furrowed brows at first. She looked at him with a questioning look, trying to figure out what he was thinking.

"You're alive." His words were firmer this time, as he let go of the table and took a step closer. Despite her tiredness and the pain all through her body, Y/N managed a tiny smile in the corner of her lips.

"I'm alive, koja," she whispered.

Kaz collapsed into the chair next to her bed.

A/N: If you read this far, first of all thank you and hope you liked it!

Second: here's the full wedding vow from Genya and David's wedding, edited to fit this story. It's one of my deleted scenes, where Y/N says it in Kerch, while Kaz says it in Ravkan♡

"We are soldiers. I will march with you in times of war. I will rest with you in times of peace. I will forever be the weapon in your hand, the fighter at your side, the friend who awaits your return. I have seen you change at the bottom of the world. There is no one more loved by me Kaz Brekker, stubborn and unbreakable."

[Bottom of the world=the Barrel]

[numetalkids]

why do i only ever feel ready and prepared for milestones or difficult phases in life once i've passed them?

[tusswrites]

Rockabye Baby (j.ww)

Wonwoo x fem!Reader

"First-time dad Wonwoo trying to navigate the ropes of parenting while missing you"

genre: fluff, humor; rating : 16+ word count: 2.1k warnings: none! credits: the littol menace @svtiddiess for helping me with the banner and beta reading author's note: this is set in the same universe as 'Bun In The Oven', but it can be read independently. written from wonwoo's pov! send an ask to be added to the tag list (better see an age in the bio)! tagging : @jenoslutie, @chugging-antiseptic-dye, @gyubakeries , @skzbangchanniee, @ariananotgrandeee, @wonufos masterlist here, domestic seventeen masterlist here

If at first he fainted upon hearing the news of the soon-to-be arrival of his offspring, he is now beyond frantic, doom scrolling in the wee hours of the morning on Reddit through multiple ‘First Time Dad’ posts. When he thinks Y/N can’t hear him, he lifts her shirt and begins to talk to his baby, he cannot be caught alive thinking he believes that shit and lose his ‘macho man’ facade. All lies, Y/N can never sleep at night, and is desperately holding her giggles at her husband’s constant whining to their baby about how mean their mom is to him. 

His aunt has given him some herbal medicine that runs in the family, vital for new mothers and despite Y/N’s bemoaning, he holds her by the neck and forces that ‘disgusting shit’ down her throat. ‘It’s for the baby Y/N’ he reminds her for the umpteenth time although he gags a little at the odd smell, that stuff is not for him, no thank you. 

At work, he is frantic, nervous, and excited all in one. When Jeonghan caught him tearing up at the back of the makeup room, rocking himself, arms tightly wound around, trying to stop his steady flow of tears, he finally confesses that he doesn’t think he will be a good father. “I never cared for children much hyung, I don’t think I have those paternal instincts to look after a newborn. I am scared I will run out on my child.” He sobs into his hyung’s arms who holds him tight and consoles him.

 “When the little one comes, you will forget all your fears. You’re not the type of person to give up on something you care about, especially not your child.” Jeonghan rubs his back gently, trying to soothe his distress. “You may not feel ready now, but you’ll rise to the occasion. Every parent has doubts, and that’s okay. It doesn’t mean you’re not going to be an amazing dad. You’ll figure it out as you go, and your love for your child will guide you through it.”

 Wonwoo freaks out when his wife thinks she is some sort of daredevil, trying to climb on the countertop to grab a jar. “Are you crazy?” he shrieks out.

“I can’t always keep asking you to attend to every beck and call of mine. Besides, it’s not that high,” you try to reason with him, but he has no chill, pushing you gently toward the bedroom and getting you back in bed, propping your feet up on the extra set of cushions he ordered from Amazon just for you.

“I don’t care,” he counters firmly. “Until you pop out that baby, you are on lockdown. No leaving the bed, and absolutely no scaling countertops for a mason jar of pickles. I’ll get it for you—just call me. That’s why I took time off, so you don’t have to risk anything, especially not now,” he says, his voice steady but laced with concern. He smooths the blanket over you, making sure you're comfortable before settling beside you with a deep sigh.

It seems the baby isn’t the only thing he’s freaking out about—he’s also on high alert to make sure you’re okay, every step of the way. Why must you do dangerous acts this far in your pregnancy?

“I am pregnant Wonwoo, I can still walk and do things, ‘m not a doll.”

“Never said you can’t do things, baby,” he says softly, smoothing the crease in your brow with a gentle peck. “It’s just to reassure me, for my peace of mind. I don’t want you pulling any stuntwoman moves just days before Little Bun gets here. So please, for me, at least?”

He looks at you with those pleading eyes, the ones that always seem to get to you. Till the baby comes, he’s hopefully the cutest person you’ve ever seen, the one you can never say no to.

“Fine.” You huff out. “But grab me a jar of mayonnaise to go with the pickles.”

“Mayo-? With pickles? H-ho?” he sputters, absolutely stumped at your taste buds.

“Is there a problem Mr Jeon?” your brow is quirked, amusedly staring at your befuddled husband's face.

“No, no, stay right there. Mayonnaise with pickles coming right up,” he says, still in shock, but resigned. He silently prays that Little Bun arrives quickly, before his wife loses herself in yet another round of bizarre food combinations.

“And sprinkles too!” you holler from the bedroom, your voice carrying.

“Lord, give me strength,” Wonwoo mutters to himself, shaking his head as he makes his way to the kitchen, shuddering at the disgusting combo.

The day of your labor arrived very anticlimactically, if Wonwoo could call it that. There was no sudden gush of water, no dramatic screams or threats hurled at him. Just a quiet morning, like any other day. If not for him glued to your side, he daresay he might have missed it altogether. The moment you felt discomfort, he was already rushing you to the ER, completely ignoring your reassurances that it was just a false alarm.

He probably needed to celebrate this victory with a cake that said, “I Told You So,” because, yes, he was right—the little one did arrive that very day, though not without a few bumps along the way. None of the dad books had prepared him for the fact that the scrubs handed to him in the labor room were supposed to go over his clothes. After a certain amount of confused stripping, a shrieking nurse, and a hollering wife, he learned a very important lesson. There can only be one naked person in the OR—and that person was definitely not him.

The jitters came when his daughter came into the world, unperturbed and squinting angrily at him, like she didn’t want to be there. He can pity her sentiments. But the baby was not crying. Sure she was breathing, but where is that high-pitched wail the books taught him?

No amount of parenting manuals could prepare him for this moment, to see his little one clutching tightly to his pinky finger, staring at him with your eyes and his nose, and the feeling of love encompasses him. Is this someone he created? He holds you extra close, trying to hold the tears at bay. Gratitude, pure and raw, fills him—thankful for you, for this little one, for the family he has.

Some sort of humor is brought in by his mate Soonyoung who arrives at the hospital, all ready to see the newborn in a new tuxedo to make ‘ a good impression’ “This is a baby Soonie”. “First impressions matter Won-Won.” He leaves it at that, knowing deep down his mate's plan was to bag the ‘best uncle’ title.

It’s never without its mishaps however- he cannot understand the hospital staff when they give him the green light that it's time to go home. 

“Are you sure?” He persistently asks, there is no way he can ensure the safety of a being that came into the world just a few hours ago and now he is entrusted to make sure this thing is alive and flourish. What are they thinking?

Seeing that familiar tick of annoyance on your face, he supposes he has been asking that question way too many times and reluctantly picks up the baby carrier, although he is scared shitless, out of his mind with fear. He does not want to place the baby in a car seat, to your utter confusion.

“She was slimy and squiggly, what if she slid right out? He ponders. 

Assuring him that the baby will be “fine and protected,” and to further calm his nerves, you sit in the backseat too, keeping a watchful eye on your little one as Wonwoo starts the engine for the long drive home. He is not the only first-time parent here.

It took a whole day and a half before the secret was out in the open. “Wonwoo, I need to grab a bite, here hold Nabi for a second.” You hold the child in mid-air expectantly waiting for her father to pick her up.

“Just place her in the crib, she's safer there.” 

“Wons, that’s in the other room, what are you so afraid of holding your child?”

He waits for the realization to dawn on you. “Wait a minute, have you held her even once?”

“I brought her here in a baby carrier?”

I meant holding her Wonwoo, not in a carrier or rocking the crib.”

His guilty face speaks enough. “She’s just so tiny Y/N! And her head is wobbly. What if I drop her?” Why can’t you understand his sentiment? He will move heaven and earth for his daughter except maybe hold her and risk dropping her.

"Wonwoo, you're not going to drop her. Babies are fragile, but you're not going to break her just by holding her," you explain, taking a deep breath to stay patient with his nerves. You reach out, gently placing your hands on his shoulders, making him look at you. “Extend your arms”

He does, in slight trepidation.

“Wonwoo, Nabi is a full-grown newborn now, not a watermelon! Seriously, how small do you think she is? A little bigger gap won't hurt. Just trust yourself," you soothe, noticing his hesitation. 

Very gently, you place the tiny baby into his arms, and he holds his breath, afraid that if he so much as breathes, Nabi will blow away. This time, he cannot stop the tears that fall freely, privileged at the fact that she made him a father.

Yes, he knew about the lack of sleep and the constant need to change his baby. But what he did not know was that he would miss you this much. Around the clock, you both took shifts to watch the baby and rock the baby to sleep.But nothing prepared him for how much he’d miss you. The number of times he’s woken up in a state of panic because you weren’t there when he felt around to bring you closer and into his arms, only to be comforted when he switches on the night lamp and watches you half asleep, feeding his little girl. On tiptoes, he’ll pick his daughter up, the little gremlin who’s staring wide-eyed at him, and walk around the room with her, to give you a moment to rest. When you wake up in pursuit of your husband and child you see a snoring Wonwoo, holding little Nabi to his chest, both blissfully unaware of the mini heart attack they’d given you. 

Wonwoo has come to the conclusion that it's in those little moments—those quiet, fleeting moments—when he gets to have you all to himself. Three months after Nabi's arrival, he finally gets a taste of that luxury, when the little one is fast asleep, her soft breaths the only sound filling the room. Nabi is finally sticking to sleeping through the night, after listening to his fathers croons. When he returns to the living room, he finds you slumped against the couch, utterly exhausted. Your hair is stuck to your forehead, and the exhaustion is clear on your face, but there's something else there too—a quiet peace that tells him the chaos of midnight feedings and diaper changes has finally settled into a rhythm... for now. He’s not going to jinx it.

Silently moving you, hushing down your sleepy murmurs, gently lifting you, and placing you against his chest, he starts to rub your head in hopes you get back to sleep, a trick he learned early on to calm his daughter down. In this quiet, he can finally hear himself think, something he has never been able to do the past few months. His heart still thumps excitedly like it did the first time he laid eyes on you. To watch as the girl he once fell for, eons ago is now his wife and he gets to share a child with you, with the promise of having eternity by your side, he sleeps easy tonight, murmuring a quick ‘I love you’ and thank you’ as he places one more soft kiss on your cheek, forever elated that you’re his.

Alas, rest is not for the wicked. A sudden phone call on his cell has you both startled and wide awake as you rush to silence his phone.

“Why is it not on vibrate Wonwoo?” You start, angrily scrambling to sit on the phone in hopes of shutting it off, all rationality flying out the window in your sleep-deprived state.

“Shh, Nabi has still not woken up, which means she probably didn’t hear the phone ring,” he whispers as you both hold hands and painstakingly wait in agony for the jurisdiction of your child’s wailing. You are in luck, after all, she has still not woken up.

A glance at his phone has him jump up excitedly, “Yes, I won the bet to Mingyu, he owes me two tickets to see IU next month.” Unfortunately for him, his enthusiasm runs short tonight, for there comes the familiar cry from your baby’s room and a murderous look from you. “JEON WONWOO”

Uh.Oh.

Reblog, comment to share your thoughts! Goes a long way!

[littleprinces]

Obedient Slave

(Hong Eunchae x Male Reader) (Anal, Creampie, Degrading)

(thanks for my 2k followers, this is little gift from me)

The sun had dipped below the horizon, casting a warm glow through the tall windows of my study. I had been expecting Eunchae for some time now, and the anticipation was almost palpable. My slave, a petite Korean woman with soft, almond-shaped eyes and raven hair that cascaded down her slender back, had become a fixture in my life, a silent shadow that attended to my every need. Today, however, had been different. I had commanded her to wait for me in my chamber, naked and ready, and the thought of her obediently complying sent a shiver down my spine.

As I entered the room, the scent of her perfume enveloped me, a heady mix of jasmine and vanilla that was uniquely her. There she was, standing by the window, her body bathed in the soft light, her eyes cast down, her hands clasped behind her back. She was exquisite, her skin a delicate shade of cream, her small, pert breasts tipped with dark nipples, and her silken hair framing her face like a dark halo.

"Eunchae," I said, my voice low and commanding. She turned to face me, her eyes meeting mine for a brief moment before fluttering downwards again. "You are even more beautiful than I imagined."

She said nothing, her silence a testament to her training. I approached her, my steps slow and deliberate, my eyes never leaving hers. I reached out and cupped her chin, tilting her head up so I could look into her eyes. "You have been a good girl, haven't you?" I asked, my thumb tracing her lower lip.

"Yes, Master," she whispered, her voice barely audible.

I smiled, my fingers trailing down her neck, her collarbone, her ribcage, until they reached the swell of her breast. I circled her nipple, watching as it hardened beneath my touch. "And today," I said, my voice a low rumble, "today you will please me in ways you have never pleased me before."

Her breath hitched, her eyes widening slightly. I could see the fear in them, the apprehension, but also the desire, the need to please. It was a heady combination, one that sent a surge of heat through my veins.

I took her hand and led her to the bed, pushing her gently until she was seated on the edge. I knelt before her, my hands on her thighs, my eyes locked onto hers. "I want to taste you, Eunchae," I murmured, my fingers spreading her legs, my thumbs tracing the insides of her thighs.

She shivered, her eyes fluttering closed. I leaned in, my tongue finding her clit, teasing it, tasting it. She whimpered, her hands fisting the sheets, her hips bucking slightly. I smiled against her, my tongue delving deeper, my fingers joining in, stroking, probing, until she was a writhing mass of need beneath me.

I stood up, my cock throbbing, my breath ragged. I wanted her, all of her, her mouth, her pussy, her ass. I wanted to fuck her until she screamed, until she begged for more. I undressed quickly, my eyes never leaving hers, my cock jutting out, hard and ready.

"Stand up," I commanded, my voice harsh. She complied, her body trembling slightly. I turned her around, my hands on her hips, my cock pressing against her ass. "I want you to suck me first," I whispered, my voice a low growl.

She hesitated for a moment, her breath ragged, her hands clenched into fists. I could see the fear in her eyes, the uncertainty, but also the desire, the need to please. I smiled, my hands gripping her hips tighter. "You can do it, Eunchae," I whispered, my voice a low rumble. "You can please me."

She sank to her knees, her hands tentative as they reached for my cock. I groaned as her fingers wrapped around me, her touch tentative but sure. She looked up at me, her eyes meeting mine, her lips parting slightly. I watched as she leaned in, her tongue licking the tip of my cock, her lips wrapping around it, her head bobbing up and down.

I groaned, my hands fisting in her hair, guiding her, controlling her. She took me deeper, her lips tight, her tongue swirling around me. I could feel the pleasure building, the heat coursing through my veins. I wanted to come, wanted to fill her mouth with my cum, but I held back, wanting to savor the moment, wanting to make it last.

I pulled her to her feet, my hands on her shoulders. I turned her around, my cock pressing against her ass. I could see the anticipation in her eyes, the fear, the desire. I smiled, my hands gripping her hips, my cock probing her entrance.

"Mmhh master, fuck my ass" Eunchae groan and I slap her ass

Relax," I whispered, my voice a low rumble. I could feel her muscles tense, could see the apprehension in her eyes. I leaned in, my lips against her ear, my breath hot. "You can do this, Eunchae," I whispered. "You can take me."

I felt her relax, her muscles loosening, her body opening up to me. I pushed in slowly, my cock stretching her, filling her. She gasped, her hands clenching the sheets, her body tensing again. I stilled, my hands on her hips, my breath ragged. "Breathe," I whispered, my voice a low rumble. "Breathe and relax."

She did, her body loosening, her muscles relaxing. I pushed in deeper, my cock filling her completely. She whimpered, her body tensing again, but I could see the pleasure in her eyes, the desire, the need. I began to move, my hips thrusting slowly, my cock sliding in and out of her.

"Yes master, don't stop to fuck my ass, I am your little slut" I pound her ass really hard and pull her hair as her moan hard

She moaned, her head falling forward, her hands gripping the sheets tighter. I could feel her body opening up to me, could feel her relaxing, could feel her pleasure building. I reached around, my fingers finding her clit, stroking it, teasing it, until she was writhing beneath me, her body bucking against mine, her moans becoming louder, more insistent.

I reached down, my fingers finding her pussy, wet and ready. I pushed two fingers inside her, my thumb finding her clit, stroking it, teasing it. She moaned, her body tensing, her breath coming in short gasps. I could feel her orgasm building, could feel her body tightening, her muscles clenching around me.

"Cum for me, Eunchae," I growled, my voice harsh. "Cum all over my cock."

She did, her body convulsing, her muscles clenching around me, her screams of pleasure filling the room. I could feel her orgasm, could feel her pleasure, could feel her body milking my cock. I thrust harder, my hips moving faster, my cock sliding in and out of her, until I could feel my own orgasm building, until I could feel the pleasure coursing through my veins, until I could feel the heat, the need, the desire.

I pulled out, my cock throbbing, my breath ragged. I turned her around, my hands on her hips, my cock pressing against her pussy. She looked up at me, her eyes glazed, her body still trembling from her orgasm. I smiled, my hands gripping her hips tighter. "I'm going to fuck you now, Eunchae," I whispered, my voice a low rumble. "I'm going to fuck you until you scream."

I thrust into her, my cock filling her completely. She gasped, her hands gripping my shoulders, her body arching against mine. I began to move, my hips thrusting, my cock sliding in and out of her, my hands gripping her hips tighter, my body pressing against hers.

She moaned, her body moving with mine, her hips bucking against me, her breath coming in short gasps. I could feel her body opening up to me, could feel her pleasure building, could feel her desire, her need. I reached down, my fingers finding her clit, stroking it, teasing it, until she was writhing beneath me, her body bucking against mine, her moans becoming louder, more insistent.

I could feel my own orgasm building, could feel the pleasure coursing through my veins, could feel the heat, the need, the desire. I thrust harder, my hips moving faster, my cock sliding in and out of her, until I could feel my own orgasm building, until I could feel the pleasure coursing through my veins, until I could feel the heat, the need, the desire.

I pulled her to me, my body pressing against hers, my cock filling her completely. I could feel her body convulsing, could feel her muscles clenching around me, could feel her screams of pleasure filling the room. I came, my body shuddering, my cock throbbing, my breath ragged. I could feel my cum filling her, could feel my pleasure, could feel my desire, my need.

"Master mmhhh" Eunchae face get redden as i fuck her on all her hole

I collapsed on top of her, my body slick with sweat, my breath ragged. I could feel her body trembling beneath me, could feel her heart racing, could feel her body relaxing, her muscles loosening. I rolled off her, my body spent, my mind reeling. I looked at her, her body sprawled on the bed, her eyes glazed, her body still trembling from her orgasm. I smiled, my hand reaching out to stroke her cheek. "You pleased me, Eunchae," I whispered, my voice a low rumble. "You pleased me very much."

[hana-no-seiiki]

𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓’𝐒 𝐔𝐏 𝐃𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐑 ?

╰┈➤ [ CH 02.1 ] LEAP OF FAITH

pairings: yandere! various (batfam, spiderverse) x miles morales! reader

tw/cw: mild yandere themes, stalking, spoilers for the spiderverse movies (this part covers a majority of the first one) and spiderman games. VV LONG PART!! Lots of canon divergences!!! reader gets called a kid multiple times but they’re an adult.

status: severely unedited

a/n: although i included spanish and uncle aaron, please be reminded that [y/n] looks however you’d like! you may even alter how unc looks since i don’t describe his appearance anyways. i’ll also be adding stuff from the spiderman games to expand on some characters so everything is not one to one from the movies.

wanted to get this out sooner for you all so this part will be divided into two or more depending on how far i get into the movie

[previous] [masterlist] [next]

The dark, putrid alleyways of Gotham was a place that should never be treaded by a small, weak kid like you. You cringed at the sound and feel of your favorite shoes sinking into the water with every step, and then frowned at the thought that your mom wouldn’t be the one washing these later now that you lived in a dorm. Still, even if those criminals didn’t capture you for ransom, or maybe your favorite vigilantes didn’t accidentally kill you, you were sure your dad would — no absolutely will. Maybe having a new home to go to wasn’t so bad.

“I’m gonna get in so much trouble.”

You muttered with a massive grin on your features. Fear always treated you a little differently. If anything it made you walk a little faster. It had been a while since you and Aaron had little fun together, and you definitely wouldn’t let a future sermon get in the way of such a rare opportunity.

Your uncle, his hands tucked into his puffer jacket-hoodie hybrid nudged you with his shoulder. Your much smaller, younger frame almost toppled over.

“Hey man, tell him your art teacher made ya.”

“How’d you know about this place?”

“Did an Engineering job down here.” Whew, even hearing the word Engineering from your Uncle made you shudder. “What?” He asked, you couldn’t tell if he was concerned, weirded out, or just chillin’. He was always hard to read.

“Nothing.” You took a deep breath in, “Dad wants me to get into Engineering.”

You two stop at some metal fencing with a door, which was conveniently climbable. Your uncle quickly demonstrated how with a few swift moments. Damn, it was almost as if he was used to breaking and entering.

“And you?” He smirked.

“I-“ You took a deep breath, It wasn’t as if you weren’t used to getting into shenanigans and sneaking into places yourself. You jumped, barely able to reach the door’s height, awkwardly heaved your body upwards to the gap between the fence and the ceiling, before not so gracefully squeezing yourself and your backpack through. “augh — don’t know yet.”

“Whassup?” You looked at your uncle, a huge and crooked grin of triumph in your features.

“Hahaha— I knew we were related. I’ll tell you something though. Just make sure you can pay the bills and sort out your taxes.”

You groaned in response to his advise. You definitely weren’t ready to be a proper adult yet.

You two then proceeded to the best spot you’ve ever seen in Gotham yet.

“Whoa!” Your mouth was so wide open in awe that it almost hurt. You yelled, “Gothaamm!!” Jumping giddily at the echo.

“There’s a lot of history on these walls.” Your uncle let his hand graze across the old graffiti, tracing each line with a soft, yet proud look on his face.

Excited, you swiftly dropped your backpack, taking out a few cans of paint. “This is so fresh.” And so you did your thing. Letting your instincts guide you as you got back into the groove of spray painting. It had been a while, your hands were shaky at times, but nonetheless you were in your element. Free. Unafraid of mistakes or the far future.

You smiled, truly, for once since your enrolment. There was just a few last touches.

“A little help?”

“Wow.”

“Too crazy?”

“Nah, man. [N/N] I see exactly what you’re doing here.” Aaron patted you on the back before he wrapped an arm around your shoulder. “You know, your dad and I used to do this back in the day.”

“Stop lyin’! A guy a like him? I bet he snitch on ya right after.”

“No, no, it’s true! But then he took on the cop thing and . . . I don’t know.” Your uncle had a tense look appear on his face. As if he tasted something bitter. And then, a distant, yet sweet nostalgic one replaced it as the words escaped his lips, “He’s a good guy . . . just . . . you know what I’m sayin?”

“Speaking of good. You don’t have to act all strong when you’re with me.” He gave you a light punch to your arm. “I knew you two were close. Heck, I made a couple of bets that you two would get married in the future. Didn’t know I’d lose to nature of all things.”

“Wait. Hang on— bets?!” Blood rushed to your face. You feel warm and cold at the same time. Were you two that obvious?

“I didn’t know him that well. But what I do know is that he put a huge smile on your face. Bigger than any of the ones I could ever draw on ya.” His rubs his thumb to the corner of your lips, “So feeling bad that he’s gone? That’s a given, kid.”

“Thanks, unc.” You leaned into his touch, “But it really isn’t Miguel. It’s—“

His phone rang. Damn.

“Sorry, [N/N]. I gotta roll.”

“No problema.”

A grave look flicked across your uncle’s features. Must have been the stress from work you supposed. Being called at this hour? You were dreading Engineering even more.

“[Y/N]! We gotta go.”

Turns out spending most of the night outside in the cold right before school was a bad idea. It was as if everything was irritating you. Your clothes felt tighter, your sweats… sweatier. Wait. This could only mean one thing.

“I think I hit puberty!” You exclaimed. Finally you could be as tall as those other kids in school.

Realizing you yelled that out loud and startled your roommate was a tad bit embarrassing though. “. . . Ehehe. . . sorry.”

‘I gotta get new clothes.’

‘Wait, why is the voice in my head so loud?’

“Watch where you’re—“ Of all the people you bump into . . . “[L/N].” Damian’s beautiful green eyes would have been great to stare at if he didn’t use them to glare at everyone. You almost shriek at the random tingle you feel behind your neck. Why were you getting goosebumps all of a sudden? I mean he is hot but not that hot.

“You know my—“

“Yeah. I know everyone’s.” He quickly overtook your attempt at a conversation. “6pm. Weekend. Don’t be late, 42.” And there he goes.

Wait, wasn’t that your raffle number?

“How does he know— He- He really has some issues.” You shook your head. Your mom often brought you around the community to help and whatnot, as such you weren’t that fazed when people just knew stuff about you without knowing who they are.

“Talk about it.” In anycase, you know who’s actually that hot?

“Gwen!”

“Hi. You called me by name for once.” Her eyes traveled all over your body, and it took everything in you not to grin like an idiot, scream and turn red all at the same time. “Are you alright or . . ? You’re sweating, like a lot.”

Shit. Damn your body for betraying you! “I am?”

“Hang on.” She brings forth a face towel, a little damp to the touch, but useful nonetheless.

“Sorry, it has my own sweat on it.”

“It’s great, I mean fine! Thank you.” Holy shit you just sweat melded with Gwen. Laughing awkwardly you give it back to her. Or at least attempt to.

“Uh, you can let go now.”

“I think . . . I think it’s stuck to my hand?”

“What?”

“I- It won’t come off!”

You suddenly feel a static, and judging from Gwen’s face, you know she felt it too.

“What was that?!”

“Okay, [Y/N] listen. Pay close attention. I need you to calm down.”

“Calm down?! How does calming down help?!”

“It’ll be much more helpful for you to be calm rather than panicked at the very least!” Gwen slowly inhaled and exhaled. Damn was she good at everything she does? How is she not panicking like you were? “Breathe in, and out.”

In anycase, a couple of breathing exercises later and a horrid excuse to not make your crush — and hence why your nerves were on end despite the calm atmosphere of a library — that obvious. You two part ways.

Well not without a final word from her.

“We have to talk later” She says. The lighthearted, calm tone turned serious.

You don’t know how you got to this moment. Somewhere, sometime when you were running away from the school guards because of your new found powers — you found yourself in a middle of a fight between Spiderman and The Lizard.

“Dr. Curtis, listen to me! You cannot open up a portal to another dimension. Gotham is not zoned for that. We’re barely surviving here in the first place!” Geez harsh dig, but man was he right. You don’t know how many days your mom spent crying wondering if your dad would come back after being sent to fight Joker of all people.

Still your dad never fails to intimidate you. Despite your powers being oddly similar to Spiderman, you think it’d be best if you left before your parents started calling—

“It’s not up to me!”

You gulped, perhaps the lizard looked a little more imposing than a sermon.

“Why won’t you quit?!”

“I guess I like Gotham not being sucked into a black hole?! Metropolis maybe, not Gotham!”

You gasp as the floor beneath you disappears, you find yourself free falling.

THWIP!

“You’re cute. And your shoes are untied.” As if you weren’t already out of breath, Spiderman just had to call you cute while you were basically heaving from all the physical activity and the anxiety of having a giant lizard on your ass. “I’m basically wearing a onesie so I don’t really have to worry about it.” The man makes it worse and approaches you, holding up your Air Jordan’s and tying it laces.

You feel a tingle down your spine that flows down your limbs. One that looped over and over like some sort of feedback. Same as Gwen’s but somehow stronger.

Spiderman snapped his head from your shoes to your face once more. The white eye-like part of his mask widened.

“You’re a Spider, too? Damn.” Spiderman mouthed the last word breathlessly, though it didn’t seem to be out of being tired. He seemed quite . . . relaxed almost. He was in his element.

You shook your head, “I don’t want to be . . .” And clearly, you weren’t being good enough for it if you couldn’t handle even half of what he’s doing.

“We don’t have a choice.” The unyielding nature of his statement took you aback. You weren’t sure if it was out of awe or fear for the future.

“Got a lot going through your head I’m sure. You’re gonna be fine, I can help you. Show you the ropes? I just needta destroy that big machine before the space time continuum collapses. Try not to move around too much.” He gives your shoes one last tug, and you see the mask shift a little around his mouth area. He’s smiling.

He then styles on you by backflipping unto a rail, doing the classic “hero stake out” pose before he saluted, “See ya.”

“Crap.” Spiderman mouthed as the entire contraption collapsed.

“What happened there?! Are you alright?!" You ran to his frankly, horrid state of self. On the floor, bruised and beaten. His mask torn on one of his eyes, revealing a brilliant blue.

“Talk later, escape now.” He coughed, spitting out some blood.

“Right. Where do I. . .?” Crap. Were you really going to learn about Spiderman's real identity just like that? You wondered were such a man lived. Prolly up town where all the socialites were. Dude's probably neighbors with the likes of Bruce Wayn-

“ . . . Gotham Visions Dormitory.”

“I can’t believe Spiderman just slept next door and he’s a senior in my school!”

“Sshhhh! And yeah, well. The world is a small place. Gotham’s even smaller.” He puts a finger on your lips. A sigh escaped his. Seconds pass before he continued, “I just can’t believe Papa’s kid would be my protégé.”

“You-You-Y-You heard that?!”

“I hear a lot of things.”

You nodded at him. You too have heard many things since your powers first manifested. You wonder how he can handle so much stimuli every single day while going to Visions and being a badass hero.

What were you supposed to do again? Right - ! You had a spider to save. You swiftly shuffled through his belongings. Strangely enough you don't see any pictures of him lying around. Not that you wanted to sneak a peek as to how those pretty blue eyes fit into the picture. Not at all.

After a minute or so, you find a first aid kid and begin mending the most damaging areas of his body. Thankfully you don't spot nor feel foreign objects stuck inside him and it seems as if he's already healed many of the minor wounds.

Superheroes man. So cool.

“You seem pretty experienced with handling this kind of stuff. Should I be concerned?”

“Had a friend that got beaten up quite a lot. Picked it up for him. May I?" You gestured to his mask.

“I . . . see. And go ahead. I need a breather and this thing ain't helping."

You patted his face and neck for any indication of where to pull, finding a slit underneath his chin. Gingerly, you tugged on the latex like fabric.

Your [e/c] meeting those baby blues once more, only more clearly now.

And the fan blogs about him were so right, he is blond!

That would make him the second blondie you've had the feedback loop with now that you thought about it. You were about to mention Gwen but -

“Harry!” Spiderman covered the rest of his body with blanket so quickly that you barely even processed the new person by the time he finished making his move.

What the heck- why'd he even let you- was he just making fun of you- using you-

“Pete. Woah. You look . . .” 'Harry' looked at your new Spider tutor with a mildly concerned glance. Not even moving to help you with the first aid.

“Yeah yeah. You know the drill."

“And you . . .” Harry's eyes drift to your spot. You look away, scared of making direct eye contact. Great, another hot guy.

“Papa’s kid. I know.” You mumbled. A rising sense of resentment for your father ebbed and flowed within your spider venom infested veins.

“No no. There is that yeah, but I mean. You’re the one Peter kept—“

“Harry!” 'Peter' groaned. Huh, you never expected Spiderman to have such a nerdy name.

“Fine. Though, he wasn’t lying. You really are cute.”

Peter groaned even louder this time, an achievement considering his face was buried in a pillow for this round.

“You called me cute earlier too, why are you hiding now?”

“That’s different!”

“Woah, Peter called you cute? To your face? Who are you and what have you done to my friend?”

“Shut up.”

You sense an upcoming wave of awkward silence. As such, the kind person that you were, you quickly finished helping Peter with the injuries he had exposed and stated, “That should be it. My room is just next door. To the left. I’ll be there if you need me.”

You silently return the first aid kid where it belonged and sneak your way to the door as if the two men weren't staring at you at this moment. "Goodbye um- sir Peter. Sir Harry."

And then you were gone.

“You don’t mind if we share right?”

“Harry. Could you not? I’m serious.”

“Woah. What’s with the attitude and volume?”

“I. . . like them. A lot. You know this already.” Peter suddenly had this longing look on his face. Equal parts in hopeless romantic and obsession.

“Clearly I didn’t truly comprehend the extent of your yearning ‘til now. Sheesh. Okay, they’re all yours.” Harry paused for dramatic effect, “For now.”

“Harry!”

“Hey, uh — Gwen. Got caught up in something. I’ll talk to you after I’m done with . . . everything. I should be free just before next week starts. See ya.”

Click!

You were never really good with excuses. Your mind raked through everything you knew just to give Gwen that message.

In anycase, overwhelmed as you were. Your feet took you to one place the anxiety and stress seemed to melt away (aside from Uncle Aaron’s crib).

“This week just keeps getting worse.” You sighed, slamming the window to your room shut after sneaking in.

Well, getting in and getting caught right after.

“Police! Put your hands up!” Your father exclaimed. But his voice doesn’t alert you at all. If anything you were bracing yourself for the sermon right after.

“Wait a sec. [Y/N]?” Your mother appeared from behind him with a frying pan in hand.

You took a deep breath. Facing them both.

How could you say that you were afraid? Scared? Unbelievably crushed underneath all this pressure about going to Gotham Visions and possibly becoming a hero of your own soon.

You'd have to fight giant lizards. Giant sandstorm creating men.

And all you had was you,

and your family.

“[Y/N]—? Why aren’t you at—“ You rushed to hug your dad. Encasing the old man with your arms so tight that it almost took the wind out of the poor officer. “Woah woah. It’s okay. It’s okay.”

“. . . No. No it’s . . . “ Not. Everything is not okay. You were about to take on the responsibility of a lifetime. Something you couldn’t – shouldn’t — escape even if you all you wished was to run away from it all.

“[Y/N]? Qué te pasa? Is it the earthquake?” Your mother joined in the hug. Rubbing your back as her other hand held her husband (frying pan put aside).

“Can I sleep here tonight?” You asked.

“[Y/N], it’s a weeknight. You made a commitment to that school.”

“Jeff, they’re upset.”

“Of course you can stay.” Your father immediately changed tune. Heh, he really was weak to your mother.

“Dad?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you really hate Spiderman?”

“Yeah. . ? I mean, for a vigilante he isn’t as bad as that friend of his, Red Hood—“

“Jeff, mi amor?”

“What? They asked me! Baby you know how I feel about those people c’mon.” Your father’s voice fades away, taking your mother’s stern look as a sign that he may not be wanted there all too much at the moment.

“Tú sabes que él te quiere mucho. That’s why he’s tough on you. You know that, right?”

“Mhm. I . . . I know.” You knew. But most of the time than not you couldn’t fully comprehend or understand your father. Despite clearly never appreciating or responding well to his tough love approach, he kept doubling down and forcing what he thought was good for you. “Mami. Do you ever think about moving out of Gotham?”

Your mother shook her head.

“Our family doesn’t run from things, [Y/N].”

“What’s this?” You gestured the red box Peter handed you. It was wrapped by some blue ribbon.

“My old suit. Figured we should get that part right before anything else.” He watches you with a smile as you opened it. “It’ll just be a placeholder before I give your measurements to my aunt.”

“Your aunt?”

“My partner in crime. Well — fighting crime. Aside from Jace. But we don't talk about him behind his back otherwise he'll just suddenly appear like the devil." He whispered the last part into your ear. Jace? Was that another vigilante? Sounds like a pompous name. Or maybe you’ve been watching Arcane way too much in anticipation for the next season.

“This is . . . a bit too big.”

“Who knows? It might fit, eventually. Spider puberty is a little finicky.”

“Tell me about it.” You’ve gone through a lot of your handkerchiefs from all the sweat you’ve been excreting.

“You mind?” He gestured his hands in a pulling down motion. You tilted your head in confusion but then slowly pieced together that he wanted to help you put it on.

“Go ahead.”

“That should be it.” He patted your back after securing your suit on.

It sagged a bit on your body, but worked nonetheless.

“That static, tingly thing in our heads. What’s that?”

“Spider-sense. It alerts you of incoming danger. It should do you well to listen to it.”

“Listen to static??”

“You’ll learn its language soon enough. In anycase, first on today’s agenda! Web-slinging. Very important. That’s how we get to any place at any time, whenever someone needs us. It’s what puts me — now us — Spiderpeople ahead of other vigilantes in the area.” He said with what you could assume was a big grin on his face by the way his mask moved.

“Alright. What do I do?”

“Just jump across and —“ Peter flicked his wrist forward, almost hitting you with the sticky goo that makes up his web.

You nod. This should be easy enough right?

Jump and flick. Jump and flick.

What you failed to calculate within your plans was that flicking your wrist needed to be timed precisely otherwise your web would not reach its proper destination.

“AAAAAAAH—!” You screamed as your webs landed on air, your body falling down.

With your eyes sewn shut, you fully expected a crash and the painful reality of falling at least 5 stories.

But somehow, you miraculously get caught. You opened your eyes and . . .

“Woah.” Your mouth went agape. If Peter was cute, whoever just saved your ass (literally) was pretty. Impeccable pale skin, dark and mysterious blue eyes that screamed sleepless but nonetheless striking, and oh his hair. Jet black. Perfectly framing his face.

And as if the heavens decided to reward you for trusting Peter's guidance and taking the fall (literally), it seemed that the ogling was not one-sided, “Are you an angel from heaven?” You both say in sync.

It had not been a moment since that came out from your mouth and you already regretted it. Augh. Cringe.

“Timmy! Old pal!” Peter landed behind him with a large smack to the shoulder, almost making this ‘Timmy’ drop you. “I see you’ve met my protégé.”

“Spider . . .” Peter struggled to put a title on you, “ . . . baby meet Timothy “Tim.” Drake, my underclassman. Timsies, meet my new partner.”

“He knows?” You whispered, as if Tim wasn't there still holding unto to you.

“Yep, he’s actually the Red Robin.” Peter whispered back, playing along with you.

“Peter!” Tim whisper-shouted, smacking Peter’s nape. Not before putting you down gently, of course. What a gentleman.

“R-r-red RobIN?! I’m such a huge fan! I - I bought all of your merch and—“ An alarm went off from inside your suit. You curse as you realized that getting your phone out to close it would take ages. Thankfully you knew what it meant however.“Crap. I gotta go.”

“Go where—?” Peter questioned.

“Well, I have this project with this kid from my class, Damian Wayne?”

“You were partnered with him? Good luck.” Tim had a look of both pity and a hint of delight.

“That happens to be Tim’s little brother.” ‘Barely’ the person in question muttered. “Why don’t I bring you there? Think I should have given you a proper example before throwing you off a building.”

“Why am I not surprised that you almost broke someone’s back with your antics? One day you’ll get ‘em killed.”

Peter doesn’t even answer him properly, “Oh no, your coffee.”

“Ah.” Tim stared at the brown stain in the snow. “I’ll just buy another one. Take care you two.”

And you somehow don’t throw up as Peter took you to the skies. He gives you pointers once on air. Something about wrist angles, pendulum theories and a whole bunch of physics. Unfortunately for him, half of the time was spent with you being thinking and being distracted by how pretty Tim was.

“You’re a godsend. Sometimes.” At least, even with the crap spider tutelage, being a baby spider meant free, fast rides across the New York.

“Just your friendly neighborhood spider.”

You heard lightning in the distance.

“Never gets old.” Peter put his hands on his hips. Neither surprised nor creeped out by the eerie ambiance. “Don’t worry about the creepy atmosphere, the Waynes are huge softies inside. I’ll pick you up at . . . ?”

“Oh, no no no! I’ll be fine. You’ve already helped a lot. (and almost killed me a couple of times) Thank you.” You vehemently denied his help. Fearing for what may happen despite the safe journey here.

“Always here to help. Or not. Good luck, Spiderbaby!”

“You’re on time.” The green-eyed classmate of yours looked raised his annoyingly perfect eyebrows. Considering your track record with classes, you couldn’t blame him.

“Of course.” Damian terrified you way too much for you to be late. He does not reply, so you open your mouth to keep the atmosphere from being too awkward, “Nice place you—“

“No small talk. Now that you’re done fulfilling the bare minimum. We can begin. Follow me.”

He led you through a bunch of hallways. Probably filled with antiques that would make your entire neighborhood go bankrupt. Your past experiences in rich people’s houses made you repeat one thing in your head as your treaded the extravagantly carpeted hall

‘Keep your arms to the side.’ His voice bounced around in your head. Echoes of the past that you've buried for so long. The moment you even raised a finger, you could be charged for theft. Especially if the owner was extra elitist and a douche. Like how his dad used to be.

“Woah, you draw too? These are so cool!” You ogled as you and Damian reached his room. It was as fancy as you expected it to be. Dreary and dark if not for the presence of animal toys and art supplies.

“I said no—“

You continued yapping, far too excited by the concept of Damian having something in common with you to stop. “A whole Windsor and Newton set, of course. I could only wish to have these.” You sighed dramatically. If only you could—

You feel static down your spine. Just by the width of a hair you managed to dodge Damian throwing a paintbrush at you. You look behind to see the wooden end of it stuck within a wall.

“What the heck, that could have hurt!”

“You have good reflexes.”

“Not even a sorry?” Damian raised one of his eyebrows (which are super thick now that you looked closely) and then gave you one scathing hot glare. “Fine, fine.”

It took about half an hour before you found yourself dosing off to dreamland.

“What are you doing? We don’t have all night to work—“

“I’m done. Been waiting for you for forever.”

“Give me that.” He snatched your paper off of your hands.

“Hey!”

“This is . . . acceptable.” He then waved your paper around before slamming it unto the table. “Only that it doesn’t hold any substance at all. It’s too vague. Our teacher told us to talk about our personal experiences. Not hypothetical ones.”

“I’m afraid if I write my personal experiences it’d be way too depressing.” You half joked. Trying yet failing to get a laugh out of your partner to ease the mood. A terrible one to pick for that reason but hey, playing dumb this entire year was your forte at this point.

Maybe cause you were actually a little stupid in some places.

“Then write it.”

“I just said—“

“So what if your life is depressing? It’s your own life. Your story. If she judges you for being honest then it’s her fault.”

“Damian?” Your mouth agape in awe, you said, “You’re so cool, y’know that?”

Besides being the son of Bruce Wayne, he was also the little brother of your favorite hero. You’ve also heard of the rumors. How perfect Damian was at everything. Some people were just favored by the Gods you supposed.

“I know. Besides it’s what was written in the instructions.” Damian huffed. Again, seemingly unaffected by your words. Understandably so, he probably got praised on the daily with how utterly immaculate he was.

Kind of makes you want to push his buttons.

“To be honest, you seemed so scary I almost bailed. Glad my fear of angering you outweighed my fear of you in general.”

“Hm.” Nope. Nothing at all. At least, nothing that you’ll ever see. As the moment you looked away out of boredom, an ever so faint smirk etches itself unto Damian’s countenance.

The rest of the evening passed in silence. Nothing comfortable, you were in an eerie mansion with one of the scariest people you knew after all, but nothing too awkward or chilling either.

“Bye Damian! It was nice working with you!” You waved, making your exit. A sense of relaxation and slight euphoria in your veins as you finally got whatever that was done.

“They seemed nice.”

Damian does not reply to Alfred’s words verbally. Only nodding as a polite response before he left.

Alfred stared at your form as it grew smaller. “. . . albeit a tad familiar.”

“Hey, Mig.” Your body instinctively relaxed as you saw the picture frame above his gravestone, right next to a large bouquet of fresh flowers; a thin layer of snow atop of it.

You wiped it off from both items, before proceeding to kneel down as you always did during your visits, “I missed ya.” You began.

“I’ve been a bit behind on my Spanish lessons, and I haven’t had much use for it since, you know.” Your hand moved around, animated. “Everything has just been so hectic. I feel like every single time I thought things were at its worst the world just piles on more duties for me to take.” And then it fell back to your side.

You bury your face into your knees.

“Is this what you felt like?” You recalled the hours he spent perfecting table manners and speech. The way his life was turned upside down by a single revelation of his parenthood. “Your dad got a lot nicer when you were gone. Your death was definitely a wake-up call to his prejudices. He even offered to pay for my fees at Visions.”

Of course, you refused. Citing the fact that now that Miguel was gone there was no use to niceties. It was too late, your opinion of him and those rich folks who walked all over you would never change no matter how much they poured.

. . . Actually, you change your mind. With the way the current Spiderman was teaching you, you might need some help paying a couple hospital bills along with damages of property.

“You are supposed to be where I am. I bet you’d do a lot better as a Spiderman too.”

In fact, you believed that he would have been perfect. Miguel was the kindest, most self sacrificing person you knew. He would have taken this responsibility with stride and his head held high.

If only you had a better teacher. Someone who was more practical and had more experience.

“Hey Kid.”

After what felt like a chase and a half, you managed to bring the man you knocked out back home. It took a while but you knew your father had some rope, a punching bag, and a place where you wouldn’t get caught (your room, securely locked with a table).

But most importantly, what your dad had was a lot of movies with cops/detectives in them. Interrogation techniques were always something he’d discuss and use on you whenever you’d do something against the house’s ‘laws.’ Which was… more often than not.

“Why do you look like Peter?”

“Because I am Peter.”

You looked at him with a face of utter disbelief. Gesturing to his form you questioned, “Then why are you older? Why is your hair different? Why is your nose broken? And why is your body a-a different . . . shape?”

“Did you just call me fat?”

“N-no- just different!”

“Hey listen kid. Fat shaming isn’t a part of cute privilege alright?”

Ignoring the part where this random ass stranger called you cute, for the sake of this conversation’s brevity and your curiosity you surmised the following, “Are you . . . Are you from another dimension, like from a parallel universe where things are like this universe but different and you’re Spiderman in that universe but somehow traveled to this universe, but-but you don’t know how?”

“Wow cute and smart. That was really just a guess?”

“Learned about it in physics. Visions really drills those in within the first month.”

“Quantum Theory.” You two mouthed in sync.

“This is amazing! I can have two teachers! You seem a bit more experienced too. Maybe I can minimize the bones I break this way!”

“Yeah right.” He swiftly dismissed your idea. Groaning at the thought of dealing with what was basically a child in comparison to his experience.

“Please?”

“Well here’s lesson one kid; don’t watch the mouth. Watch the hands.” And the whole thing that tied him to the punching bag unraveled. Damn it, that took you at least an hour to do! Not only that but the man then kicked the thing at you, making you slam backwards unto a door. Yikes.

“Other Peter, seriously—!” And now you have his web all over your mouth. Great.

“Trust me, kid. This’ll all make you a better Spiderman.” Peter—or whoever this rude man was—jumped out of your window and slung a web, ready to leave. But before he could take off, his body suddenly glitched, the distortion rippling across his form, and he crashed downward, slamming through a set of stairs with a loud thud.

“Hey, are you - are you . . . okay?” You asked, wiping off the remnants of his web from your lips. “What’s going on with your body?”

“I don’t think my atoms are all jazzed about being in the wrong dimension.” He turned his body around, facing you and glitching once more. “Look, I’m not looking for a side gig as a Spiderman coach. ‘Sides you already have one! With a not broken nose! And I got a little going lot on in my dimension.”

“I heard a wise guy once saying that with great power comes great—“

“Don’t you dare finish that sentence! Don’t do it! I’m sick of it!” He pointed at you with an accusatory finger, his voice trembling with frustration. And then he glitches again. Huh you might have felt bad if he didn’t just kick and webbed you. “Want my advice? Go back to being a regular kid. We already have a bunch of vigilantes in Gotham I’m sure they can work things out.” He spoke as he hung from a platform with one hand.

“I’m part of this now. I can’t just run away! That supercollider could potentially destroy my universe, everything and everyone I know!”

“What did you say?” Suddenly, Peter turned his head to look at you.

“I can’t just run away?”

He started walking towards you, feet sticking to the brick walls like a natural, “Blah blah responsibility! Who cares about that? Where’s this collider?”

“Under Fisk Tower.”

“Goodbye.” He walks back down the walls. Tearing the eye contact he held with you just seconds ago like it was nothing.

“Where are you going?”

“When it runs, I’ll jump in and get back to my life.”

“You can’t let them run it! You don’t even know if you’ll get sent to the correct dimension much less be alive through it all!” You attempt to follow him, not so gracefully sliding down the walls, “We’re supposed to destroy it so it doesn’t run at all and cause — I don’t know — a rupture in the—“

“‘Space time continuum’ That is what they always say. But there’s always a little bit of time before everybody dies and that’s when I do my best work.”

“You’re really gonna go home and leave me, a kid mind you, to figure this out all by myself?”

“No, I’m leaving you with other, frankly speaking, much more responsible vigilantes to fix whatever aftereffects of that thing is.”

“You good with that Spiderman?”

“Yeah.”

You sighed, falling to your knees.

Older Peter looks back at you from the rooftop with the most unamused look he's ever had this whole night. “What are you doing?”

“Using my ‘cute privilege’ to make you feel guilty. Is it working?”

“I hate kids. How could it— No. Look at me. Does it look like it’s working? No, no it’s —Ohohoho. AAAHH! NO! NO! DO NOT LET THEM WIN!”

You muster all your will not to smile or laugh at his mighty attitude falling at the face of your cuteness.

“Alright kid, you win. We don’t have a second to lose. Bring me to your Spiderman mentor you mentioned.”

“Mmm. I love this burger. So delicious. Mmm. One of the best burgers I’ve ever had. In my universe this place closed six years ago. Mmm. I don’t know why. I really don’t. Mmm!” Peter Burnout spoke as he gorged himself in food. Some of the ketchup spraying to yours and OG Peter's face.

A waiter passes by and drops a bill on your table.

“You have money, right? I’m not very liquid right now.”

“I can’t believe you replaced me!” Peter cried as he looked at his older, more . . . rotund counterpart.

“Peter. Sir. Respectfully speaking super healing doesn’t really help with pain from broken bones. If anything I’m just grateful I didn’t give my parents a whole buttload of debt from my injuries.”

“And I was — pfft — really sorry about that!”

“You’re still laughing about it!” You yelled, watching Peter do his best to hide his amusement at your predicament. This man who so calmly took care of a giant wizard and a world ending collider, did not have the chops for acting or lying at all. “Back to the topic at hand people. Any Spiderman tips Other-Peter?”

“Yeah I got plenty.” He said as he licked his fingers clean. Gross.

“Disinfect the mask. You’re gonna wanna use baby powder in the suit, heavy on the joints. You don’t want any chafing, right?”

“That . . . is actually pretty useful.” You nod, bringing out your phone to quickly type down his words. Although you didn’t have a proper suit yet, you always wonder how heroes felt underneath all that tight latex like material. Of course, you’ve attempted cosplays and whatnot but those have always been with cheap, sweat inducing products.

“Speaking of, your suit should be ready in a bit. Do you have a color of preference?” Your Peter brings up.

“Think I’ll go with [Color(s)] and Red. Just to match up with you a little.” You replied, attempting your best version of your Uncle’s cool nonchalant smile as you were gushing in excitement inside. You then looked back to Peter B. “Anything else?”

“Nope, that was everything.”

“And I thought OG Peter was bad.”

“Hey!” Peter clutched his chest as he feigned hurt. You only deadpan at him, a broken heart won’t soothe your broken bones.

“Look up more about Fisk Tower and whoever you fought at the collider.” Peter B. instructed as he grabbed your french fries.

“Kingpin.” You muttered, typing down ‘Fisk Tower’ as per his instruction.

“Him? Must have been tough that one.”

“Alchemax?”

“Great. We have a lead. Now check where it is.”

“Hudson Valley.”

“Other-Peter can teach me to swing on the way there!” You make a ‘thwip’ ‘thwip’ ‘thwip’ motion with your hands, a huge excited smile gracing your features.

And… it’s quickly replaced with a disappointed frown once you three stepped into a bus, “I’m not swinging to the Hudson Valley! Not after a hearty burger breakfast. Keep your arms and legs fresh. You’re gonna thank me later.”

“Still think I’m a bad teacher.” Peter nudges you with his elbow, a stupidly cute grin on his face.

“Yep.” Peter loses his confident smirk real quick, “Not the worst but still bad. To be fair to Peter B. he hasn’t gotten me injured yet.”

“That’s a no on the cape.”

“But it’s my latest Robin merch I wanna have it for my first mission—“

“No.” The two Spidermen stated in sync, though one much more sternly than the other.

OG Peter pinches the bridge of his nose, “Do you know how many times I’ve had to help the Robins with their cape related problems? I’ve told every single one of them that it won’t work, but they just have to follow Batman’s footsteps.”

“So the theory about the Robins being different people really is true huh…” You thought to yourself, knowing that your two mentors could probably hear you even if you mumbled.

Other Peter also pinches the bridge of his (less perfect) nose, “Yeah take that off. It’s disrespectful. Both to the mantle of Spiderman and every Incredibles movie there is.”

You pout but heed their advice. You took off the yellow and black cape, a sniff in grief follows.

“Okay spiderfolks here’s the plan: Step 1, we infiltrate the lab. 2 Find the head scientist’s computer.” Peter B. Parker started laying down the plan. A surprisingly detailed one considering. . . Well the man’s incompetent to say the least. “Step 4: I download the important stuff. Then 5, I grab a bagel from the cafeteria and run.”

“What are we supposed to do?” You asked, already knowing what he’ll answer with but still clinging unto hope.

“Step 6: Lookout. That’s a very important job. Watch and learn kid I’ll quiz you later!”

“I’m totally the better teacher right?” OG Peter asks you. His puppy eyes on display.

“Anything is better than janky, old, broke hobo spider.”

“Fair enou—“ Peter began his reply but was interrupted by you absolutely decimating a boulder with your fist. “That’s new. And good to know. That’ll come in handy in fights annndddd when I know you’re angry.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Touché. We goin’ in?”

“Oh we’re definitely going in.”

“Whoa!”

“You alright?”

“Not so much with you on top of me!” You whisper shouted. Seriously, even with your new super strength this man was built like a fridge.

“Let’s go. Other Peter!” You whisper shouted again, crawling through the vents with much more noise than needed. Slamming face first unto the Burnout’s ass.“Ah! Other Peter!”

“What are you doing here?!”

“Kingpin’s here. Just move your butt over.” You moved between his legs and then his arms before shimmying yourself beside him.

“Augh, you’re stepping on my foot. Get back outside!”

“No! I - We can’t just sit and let you get caught — or - or die without doing anything about it. I’m not doing that again!” You felt guilty enough with how fucked up Peter OG was after the fight last time, you’re sure as hell ain’t letting that happen again under your watch.

Peter Burnout just stares at you. Silent and unmoving.

“What?”

“Most people I meet in the workplace try to kill me, so . . . you’re a nice change of pace.”

“You have such a low bar. You need to surround yourself with better people. A proper support system is really important for hero mental health.”

“I’m guessing there’s no more room for me there.” Peter pipes up from behind the two of you.

“No.”

“No.”

“Mr. Fisk. Look at this data. I know you can’t really understand it but these are really good numbers.”

“ . . . Anddd I got the password!”

“Wait wh-“ You looked at him, incredulous. Other Peter can be cool sometimes.

“Um, Mr. Fisk, if we fire again this week, there could be a black hole under Gotham. You see this and this? This is multiple dimensions beginning to crash into each other.”

Peter puppets his hand as she speaks.“This is pretty standard Spider stakes. You get used to it.”

You turned your head to OG Peter for confirmation. That couldn’t be right, right? He was just a kid like you! I mean you never felt any threats to your safety at all during your whole time at Gotham, but then again you lived with a cop dad and an incredibly rich b—

OG Peter nods. He nods! You have a mini anxiety attack inside. You make a mental note to give him more respect in the future. “You get used to hearing threats to your safety and the world? I think you both just need therapy.” Okay but not too much that you don’t get to cash in a quip. What? You were a Spider. It was literally in your blood.

“Watch this.” Peter B. tapped your shoulder several times to get your attention back, “He’s gonna say, “You’ve got 24 hours’”

“You’ve got 24 hours.” He winks at you.

“What this means is that there’s going to be a rupture in the space time continuum!” Dr. Olivia continued.

“Ooh. That’s bad. Actually, everything she said was bad I was lying before.”

“Good to see you admit and communicate your feelings and concerns in a healthy matter, Mr. Other Parker.” You nod in approval. The two of you then move out, one more gracefully than the other.

“Wooh, it was getting a lil tiring just staring at other me’s ass.”

“Just his?” You asked, almost offended that your cake wasn’t mentioned.“Sorry didn’t mean to flirt on the job—“

“No, no, no! Flirting is very much welcomed. I’m single.” OG Peter admitted. His body practically trembling at the awkwardness of his confession.

“Not to be the savior of this awkward atmosphere you kids are creating but a little help here? What are you doing bud?”

“I- I’m stuck! I can’t move!” Not this again.

“Okay, relax your fingers. We don’t have time. Just let go. Be in the moment.”

“I am in the moment! It’s a terrible moment!”

“[Y/N]. Breathe in and out.” OG Peter tried to pull you off but is unable to due to his super strength potentially decimating the octagon shaped lights.

“They’re right there, they’re gonna see you! [Y/N], you gotta unstick. What do you do to relax?”

“You listen to music right? Why don’t you think of a tune that helps you chill out?”

“Relax. Okay, okay, okay.” You close your eyes. Thinking of what you always did when you wanted to relax.

The Robins.

Ah yes, the perfect specimen that is the OG Robin. His musculature that rivaled the Greek sculptures of old. And better yet, his ass? Good lord. You were so glad when he moved on to be Nightwing and shed off that horrid cape. Maybe Spiderman was right, capes were no good.

“Ah . . . Nightwing.” You think back to the pictures you drew of your OC and the vigilante and a finger unsticks. You reminisce of the times you’ve seen them in real life, out at night when your family thought you were asleep and another finger pops off.

You fall once you remember the moment you took a photo with him. “Nightwing. . .”

“Teenagers. Just the worst.” Peter Broken Nose sighed at your hormonal moment.

“Wait, where did [Y/N] go?” Peter Perfect Nose asked, whipping his head around as if you might materialize out of thin air.

“I’m right here.”

“Where? We can’t see you.”

“Pete, I’m literally right in front of you.” You looked down at your hands, stunned to see that you were in fact, invisible, “Can Spider-Man turn invisible in your universe?”

“Nuh-uh.”

“Ow!” You groaned as you reeled from Peter B’s slap. “What was that for?”

“This is incredible! Some kind of fight or flight thing.”

“What’s that?”

Pop! And you disappeared. Out of sight. But never out of mind.

"This might pinch a little." She then shoved him unto a chair that automatically strapped him on. You were about to gawk at the kind of furniture she kept around. Thankfully OG Peter had his uses and kept you on track.

"Organize your desktop, lady." You sweated at the amount of icons she had on there. Insane behavior this was.

"This'll take too long. Grab everything before she spots us." And he takes to the ceiling.

"Wow, just complete cellular decay. Never seen anything like this!" Dr. Olivia observed cheek cells she swabbed out of Peter Burnout. You slowed down in concern. Glitching must be completely painful. You had to get him back to his dimension as soon as possible.

And so you followed your tutor’s command.

"What are you two doing?" Peter shook his head as he spots a floating PC and monitor, you, slowly moving to the exit.

"Just taking the whole thing!"

"And obviously you've been glitching."

"Oh god, [Y/N] hurry up!" OG Peter whisper shouts.

"You stay on this dimension for too long your body will start to disintegrate. Do you know how painful that would be, Peter Parker?"

"Oh, I don't know."

"You can't imagine. And I for one, can't wait to watch."

You look to Peter above you, a silent pause as if to say, "This lady is actually insane." Like seriously, how can she teach students like you with a mouth like that?

"What did you say your name was?"

She stood up. A relaxed posture to her form. Her hands reached up to remove her octagonal glasses. "Dr. Olivia Octavius."

Holy shi—

[AUTHOR’S NOTE]:

Character: *breathes*

Author: You’re part of the harem now.

(removed those that couldn’t be tagged) TAGLIST IS FULL!!! SO SORRY FOR THE REST!!! I’LL TAG YOU ON A REBLOG!!!

taglist: @yell0wdreams @humanoid606 @holybatflapexpert @girlcrafter408 @imbiafandbored @miwsolovely @manduse @kiyomisan @vanessa-boo @w31rdg1rl @crystalsbirds @ghestie93 @animelover745-blog @phoenixgurl030 @speckle-meow-meow @mysteriouslyfantasticthief @beta-is-sleeping @day-dreams-posts @paranoiac-666 @ghestie93 @7074lly @yourcutelittlegayfriend @altusha @proffesorbunny @snowwy-night @moonchild-cupcake @the1an0n1y @fuck-the-reaper @siphite @mel-star636 @trickysnack19 @thatone-gayweeb @swagbucksjester @starwritesyanderes @gaozorous-rex-blog @rainnyydaysworld @0-undead-0 @taru-nami @iiiitsfoxie @one-green-frog @victoria1676 @sugarrush-blush @arlynared @ceramic-raven @carnalcrows @victoria1676 @sugarrush-blush @suckitsideways @urminebutidontwantyou @badussyussysstuff

[simonz-angel]

LOVE YOUR WRITING 😝😝‼️

can we get simon fluff please?? 🙏

purely sfw, like how he’d cheer you up after a bad day. some hugs, kisses, cuddles, jokes, tickles, etc. etc. 💜

hii lil nonnie!! i hope i did this justice… dunno if you noticed but i typically don’t lean towards the sweet stuff. anyways please lemme know if you love this or not (or anyone plz guys) i put some real love into this just for you sweet pie ♡♡♡

❥ simon… the big, broody man? nah, he’s an absolute ball of fluff, of candy-like sweetness that melts into you with every touch, soul binding to yours with every sweet kiss, every sweet moment.

❥ he’d be one to kiss you every step through the door, it was like he couldn’t get enough. could never memorize the softness of your lips, the hesitation in your touch, unsure if he’s hurt. it was dizzying every time, his thin, cracked lips simply pressed against yours had worlds colliding, his world splitting open.

❥ and he’s the type to crack his eyes open right when the suns rising, feet padding their way to kitchen to get a roast heated. and you’d soon be behind him, in one of his big t-shirts, hair tousled, eye brows scrunched and pouting up at him. god, it was a sight every morning, and gah it had him soaring, depths into the heavens to know he had you beside him.

❥ he loved how when he barged through the door bloody and battered he had someone to lean on. you’d be rushing over, pressing your lips to his cheek then to his before you’re guiding him to the bathroom. your gentle heart is what he fell in love with, the way you’d care so deeply and the way your warmth could mute any pain in these worlds.

❥ he hated how he succumbed so deeply to every desire of yours, but when you’d beg for five more minutes in bed, he’d sigh softly and grip you tighter, pulling you further into him. sitting warm beneath the sheets, limbs tangled as your inhales matched rhythm and your exhales combined, dancing around.

❥ or when you’d convince him for late night snuggles up on the couch, pleading with a “the movies almost over, please si?” and he could never reject your glowing eyes, your lips pulled so downward your cheeks begin to dimple. it’d always end with you asleep against the soft beat of his heart, a lullaby truly. and he’d have to pick you up bring you up to your bedroom.

❥ he’s one to admire audibly. whispering sweet things for only your being to hear, voice so soft it barely touches the air. mumbling at how your so perfect, so beautiful, the best thing life has granted for him. he’d go through lives n lives of hardships if it meant he had you waiting for him.

❥ he’s one to crack jokes to see your pretty teeth sparkle when your lips pull into the most shattering smiles he’s ever seen. it was mesmerizing every fuckin’ time, watching you giggle and shoo at him as your cheeks flushed and your lungs hiccuped for a deep breath.

❥ n when you wouldn’t smile, when you’d brush him off with a tired eyes a droop to that memorable smile, his heart would fail. and he’d sit you down, fingers dancing along your scalp to feel your soft breaths against his chest. he’d let you speak your mind, not interrupting, purely listening to how horrible your day went.

❥ and when it came to cheering you up he knew just how. he had methods, late walks, skin to skin, a movie, a warm filling meal. or simply the best jokes and the sweetest sarcasm that had your eyes rolling and cheeks balling in a smile.

❥ it was easy to see simon as some sort of monster, a fearful man born without an ounce of empathy. but when he meant you, that all seemed to crumble down, as he began to trust, when his heart began to pump wildly every time your name touched his ears, you were his forever.

[lowkeyerror]

Guidance

Agatha Harkness x Rio Vidal x Reader

Word Count: 2.1k

Notes: Near death experience, pre-cannon, I think it’s mostly spoiler free be wary,

Summary: You are thought to be the weakest member of your coven. After hearing it so often you begin to believe it. It’s not until you encounter a mysterious woman in the woods, that you get a glimpse of you true power.

An: 2 parter & part 2 should be up in a matter of minutes 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️. Hope you like this one. I'm really just free writing these as they come up in my head

Part 2 | Masterlist

You were the weakest in your coven. The others were miles ahead of you when it came to actually using magic. However no one knew as much about it as you did.

You spent your time reading hoping to come across something that would wake your full potential but you found nothing.

Your coven bullied you relentlessly for your shortcomings. You heard their harsh words every time you failed a task. You heard it when you were left to clean up after them. You heard it when they would ditch you in the woods claiming it would build merit.

“This isn’t funny you guys, it’s dark please,” you call through the trees.

No one answers, not that you expect them to. You try to cast a light spell just enough to hold it in your hand, but you fail.

You start to hear noises in the woods surrounding you. Quickly you turn your back and take a defensive stance. You feel the hairs stand up against the back of your neck, and a light sweat begin to coat your forehead.

“I- I am armed,” you lie trying to reason with the darkness

When a figure steps out, you feel yourself start to shake. It was hard to see, but the hooded figure was illuminated by the soft light of the moon.

She was beautiful, something unnatural like you’ve never seen before. The warmth in her face, the faint rosy tones of her cheeks, the deep luxury of expensive leather in her eyes. She has stunned you into silence.

“You’re freezing,” is the only thing she says to you.

In your fear you hadn’t noticed the cold bite of the night. However as the stranger points it out you can feel a numbness start to take a place in your body.

“My coven… they like to play tricks on me like this,” you cast your gaze down, afraid to look into her eyes.

“That’s not very funny,” she speaks gently.

You raise your gaze to look at her, “It’s because I’m the weakest member. I can’t even cast a simple spell to light a path.”

The mystery woman shakes her head , “I don't think that’s true.”

She removes her cloak and drapes it over your shoulder.

“You’ll freeze miss,” you try to reason with her, but she just chuckles.

“Give me your hand,” she commands.

You hesitate but place your hand in hers. She lays your palm up flat.

“What are you do-”

“Think of something warm, like a blanket or a coat,” she guides you.

“Ok,” you mumble following her directions.

She praises you, “Very good, now move from warm to hot. Think of the blistering sun or an oven or… fire.”

When she says fire she can already see the ball growing in your hand. She looks over to see if you’re witnessing your power, but your eyes are closed.

“Now what? Hello?”

You open your eyes and the woman had vanished. Your eyes lock on the ball of fire illuminating from your hand. You had never been able to do something like this before.

With the stranger’s cloak around you and the ball of fire in your hand you were able to find your way back to the coven. You snuffed out the fireball before getting too close to the cabins.

“That’s a new record Y/n, we almost didn’t think you’d make it back,” one of the bullies snickers.

Instead of entertaining them with a stutter filled response like you usually do, you just walk past them. The woman from the woods still in your mind. You look at your hand that held the fire ball. Was she responsible for it, or could you do it on your own.

You do just like she instructed. Thinking of something warm and then hot. This time watching as your fingertips began to glow and fire danced in your palm.

Maybe you had been letting the words of the others get to you. Perhaps you had power just like theirs hidden somewhere underneath all of that doubt.

You decided that you would press the limits of your powers until your knowledge matched your ability. As soon as you began believing in yourself, the power seemed to surge through you.

You kept the woman’s cloak as you trained your powers. Often sneaking off in the night to teach yourself as your coven still believed you to be a weakling.

It’s a few months later, when your powers are much more refined that you grow tired of the teasing. You’re certain that you are more powerful than the other members of the coven.

“Hey Y/ln,” you turn at the sound of your last name.

A ball of mud thuds against your face and the sound of laughter rings in your ears. You try to calm yourself down as your anger begins to rise.

“Look she’s going to cry.”

“Chin up Y/n, you’re too old for tears.”

“I’m sure there’s a spell you can’t use that would be helpful right now.”

You felt hot all over. Like the rage was boiling your blood. Your fists were clenched together at your side. You felt the mud harden over your face before cracking off like it was a rock.

“Who threw it?” Your voice is low.

The laughter has stopped. They all look at you paralyzed with fear. You were on fire from your head to your toes. Pupils engulfed in flames.

“WHO THREW IT?” You repeat louder.

“We were just teasing Y/n, restrain yourself.”

You take a deep breath, and for a moment the flames die down.

“Freak,” someone mumbles.

That’s all it takes for you to shoot the fire out of your hand towards your coven members. Most of them moved out of the way.

The one’s who were too slow, did not have the time to scream. They were piles of ashes almost instantly. The others yell in their place, tears streaming down.

Their cries do something to pull you from your rage. You begin blinking rapidly. Your body feels empty on the inside, warmth was no longer there replaced by a bone chilling cold.

You pass out. When your coven sisters were aware that weren’t getting up again, they ran. They ran all the way to the mother of your coven to tell her what you did. They decided you would die for your actions.

When you gained consciousness you found yourself in a large glass. On the opposite side of the glass were your peers. You tried talking to them but none of them responded.

You weren’t truly panicking until the water started to flood into the sides of the glass. You began to bang on the glass, it did not relent. The water was ice cold as it started to climb up your legs.

“Please, please,” you beg them, tears streaming down your face.

“You never belonged in this coven, even with power, you are still a weakling,” the mother of the coven spat at you.

You felt your insides begin to burn again, but the cold water feels like it's putting out the fire. The water begins to rise. The higher it rises the more you fight against the execution.

Water begins to fill your lungs and you cough. It only makes more water enter your body. You begin to loose consciousness this time noting you won’t be waking again.

Your eyes flutter and before they close, you see a large flash of purple. You hear the glass tank you’re in begin to crack. You’re back is against the ground and your eyes are wide open.

“Is she breathing?”

“Do CPR.”

“Rio, I don't even know this gi-"

“DO THE CPR, AGATHA.”

Soon Agatha begins doing chest compressions on you. She hears a very feint heart beat. She moves to mouth to mouth. She tries to blow air into your lungs 2 or 3 times.

Eventually you start coughing, and she gains some distance.

“Are you alright bunny?”

You shake your head trying to clear the ringing.

“How did you?”

Your eyes begin to focus. You see the lifeless bodies of your coven members behind her. It makes you scramble back away from the woman.

“Hey, hey take it easy. They were trying to kill you, I did the right thing,” the woman tries to rationalize with you.

“What's your name?” You attempt to scramble to your feet.

“ Agatha Harkness. I’m not going to hurt you,” she stays in place eyes boring into yours.

Your eyes shift to the bodies once more, “How can I be sure?”

“She’s not going to hurt you, Y/n,” that voice was familiar to you.

You look behind you to see the woman you had come across in the forest. Seeing her in the daylight brings a brighter hue to your already flush cheeks. You begin to cough again.

“You- you put the fire in my hand,” you sputter.

She shakes her head, “That fire was inside of you, long before we crossed paths my sweet.”

“How did you find me?”

Agatha laughs, “Tell her how you found her Rio. Who you really are?”

Rio glares at Agatha, “Shut up, Agatha.”

“Who are you?” You whisper.

“I am Death,” she states.

You look at her waiting for her to say sike. To admit that this was some cruel joke, but she doesn't. Instead she just looks at you with her doe eyes.

“Let’s get you dry, bunny” Agatha says and with a flick of her hand, your clothes are dry.

“You wear my cloak.”

You pull it closer to your body, “ Keeps me warm.”

“I have been… drawn to you for some reason Y/n. You could've easily froze to death that night we met. You were so close, but then I interfered. It wasn’t your time yet. So I decided to offer you warmth.”

You stare up at her, “You must be mistaken. I am not… there’s nothing special about me. Especially nothing good enough to have Death save my life.”

“What did you do too have your whole coven turn against you?”

You stutter, “I- I got upset.”

Rio pushes you to further explain, “And what happened when you got upset?”

Your jaw twitches, “I started to feel hot on the inside.”

“And then what, bunny?”

You feel the fire roaring numbly inside of you, “I was covered it in fire. I shot it at them for teasing me. Some… some of them didn't move quick enough. ”

You begin to hyperventilate as the reality of your actions set in. You had killed people, their blood on your hands. Technically your entire coven was dead because of you.

“Deep breaths,” Agatha sits in front of you guiding you through the breaths. “Don’t feel ashamed for doing what you had to do for survival. It's not always about who is the strongest or even who is the smartest, it’s about who survives.”

“But for the record you were more powerful and smarter than all of them, “ Rio shares.

“I don't understand,” you look between the two women.

“Y/n, you are an elemental witch. It’s like a green witch on steroids,” Agatha explains.

You scoff, “Just because I made a fireball, anybody can do that.”

“You just said you were engulfed in flames,” Rio counters.

“Well that's just fire there are other elements,” you say, sure of your words.

Agatha nods, “Indeed there are, but you’ve only tried to play with fire. Give me your hand.”

Just like you had done months ago with Rio, you give Agatha your hand. She holds it face up with her own under yours.

“Now what?”

“Think of a flower. Any kind of flower. Be sure in the details. How long is the stem, does it have leaves on it? How big is the flower, is it multicolored?”

You follow Agatha’s instructions and easily enough a flower is sprouting out of your hand.

“How curious?” Rio glances at the flower you’ve made.

“What?” You ask gently pulling the flower from your palm.

“You made a Rio Dipladenia,” Agatha speaks breathless for a moment.

You furrow your brows, “Is that a bad thing?”

“No, it’s not. That flower, I created it for Agatha, so it’s quite the coincidence that you would think to make it,” Rio informs you.

A blush spreads across your face, “Oh, would you… do you want the flower, Agatha?”

Agatha’s eyes snap to Rio before settling on you, “You’re adorable, doll.”

“I agree, too adorable to be wandering the forest alone and untrained. Come with us Y/n, we will help you reach your full potential,” Rio insists.

You look between the two for a moment, contemplating. You had nothing. Your coven was dead, your powers were unpredictable at best, and you couldn’t stand the thought of being alone.

You slowly nod, “Ok.”

“Good choice, bunny.”

[revelboo]

Oml the cliffhanger on metroplex. Big guy needs more love in his life.

I absolutely love your work on these stories you got cooking here. Each and every one of them have so many characteristics to them. Can't wait for your next work. 🤗💖💖💖

Thank you!

18+ 🌶️

I Can Feel You Pt 6- extended cut

Metroplex x Reader

Monitoring as you step into the labyrinth that makes up his interior, for a moment you hesitate. Looking back up at the light streaming down from above like you want to go back. He knows he could close that exit to you, force you to continue on. Would you resent him then? If he takes away your choice? Little hands twisting together as you stare up toward that light, he knows he can't take that away from you. Needs you to choose him. And finally you take a shuddering breath and square your shoulders. "Okay," you whisper, eyes wide as you look around. "Okay. Show me, big guy."

Slowly he begins flaring his biolights, feeling the strain of redirecting energy where he needs it to give you direction. It's slow going when you're so small. Turning again and again, following the pulses of light. Trusting him to guide you and occasionally reaching out to brush your fingers against him almost absently. Those little touches helping focus him, because if he's wrong, if he's not careful, he'll burn through too much energy and be forced into recharge again. That unease twists through him as you follow, because he's not sure you'd be able to find your way back out. You're so little, so easy to overlook. How long would it be until the Autobots above miss you? Before you slowly starve to death wandering around inside him? That fear is a living thing, urging him to turn you back around. Let you go.

Just once, though. He wants to speak to you at least once. More than your stilted conversations as precious to him as they are. Wants to feel you reach out and be able to touch you in return. "I didn't realize all this was down here," you whisper, brushing against a cable. "It's like a whole other city." Except its only him here and now you.

You don't complain as he leads you, but as time passes, you are slowing. Shoulder and wrist bumping a wall as you turn a corner. Time is a hard concept for him, but it's different for you. You'd have taken a rest interval by now, right? He's not sure, but as you stumble guilt sets in. Knowing you're exhausted, but you're so close. Please, just a little further. "Metroplex? I think I'm done," you say, leaning your head against him. "Is it much further?"

Pulsing warm light, he waits, and you reluctantly push away from his walls to keep going. Knows you're tired and he's asking much more than he has a right to. But just this once, he wants to wrap his arms around your little frame. Needs you to understand how precious you are to him.

Exhaustion pulls at you as you scrub a hand over your eyes, your head pounding. It feels like you've been walking forever, trusting that there's a reason you're down here. It must be night by now or early morning. There's no way to know down here in his labyrinthine interior. He's seen you eat and must know you'll need to soon. Should already have. You keep your eyes on those warm, comforting lights of his, not on the empty shadows beyond. If not for the low hum of his spark vibrating under your feet, you'd think you were alone. Abandoned. Know you're inside him and there's nothing to fear, but panic is just there under the surface. Screaming at you to turn and run back the way you'd come. That this is a tomb, maybe yours.

And then light, warm and beckoning. Leaving the tunnel you were in to enter an open space limned in warm light along the walls, pulsing slowly as they run upward with a low thrumming you feel in your bones. Breath catching as you tip your head up to find his spark. It's a shocking thing to see, knowing it’s everything. It’s him.His life force pulsing and glowing above you, little arcs of energy trailing through the air around it.

"Metroplex? This is your spark, right?" The part of a Cybertronian they protect and keep hidden, and he's shared his with you. It feels like trespassing on something private as your eyes drop. Like this isn't something meant for you to see.

Directly under it is something almost like a closed metal flower, pulsing with that same energy. And along the ground, his biolights pulse. Slow, deliberate flares that draw you forward. As you approach, that strange structure opens, metal petals unfurling slowly as thick cables unravel from around it. "You wanted me to see this?" You ask, because of course he had. That thing that's not at all a flower is pulsing slowly like his spark, that light almost hypnotic. One of those cables brushes your ankle and twines about it as you approach and reach out. Fingers brushing him and feeling energy arc through you, shattering you.

That contact jolts through you as everything falls away and you’re left in a space limned in the warm pulse of his spark, surrounded by him. You can feel him in a way you never have before as you try to figure out if the space you’re in is small or infinite. And if touching whatever that was just killed you, because it’s so hard to focus here. You feel like you’re drifting and just want to sleep.

So hard to focus. That’s not your thought, is it? It feels like yours, but there’s a faint dissonance. Ground me, little one.

“Metroplex?” You whisper, reaching out and a figure materializes in front of you, bigger than you but not as massive as the Autobots are. Ghostly and insubstantial until his servos touch your fingertips and he solidifies some. You’ve never seen his bot form, but you know this is him. Metroplex. Warmth spilling through you as he offers you a big hand and you lay your palm in his.

“Touch me,” he says, the words a deep rumble, a plea as his servos curl around your hand.

Because he becomes more real where you touch him. Encouraging you to reach for him, hand lifting to cautiously cup his jaw. And his other arm curls around you and draws you near, feeling solid against you. The warmth of him, the thrum of his spark against you all so real. “Hi,” you whisper against him.

“You saw me,” he says, chin on top of your head, that deep voice so grateful it hurts you. Like acknowledging him, speaking to him is unthinkable. “Woke me.”

It breaks you wide open, that wonder in his voice over something so simple. Thinking about how he takes care of you, watches over you, has tried so hard to reach out. “I’m here. I’ve got you,” you whisper, reaching for him, cupping his helm in your hands and pulling him down. Because you understand that loneliness, of being unseen. Knowing you’re so much smaller than even the smallest Autobot, that you’re easy to overlook. To forget. And among them you feel alone, alien and unseen. His mouth is warm when you go up on tiptoes to kiss him. And he rushes into you, tangling what you feel with what he feels.

Knowing that he won’t be able to maintain this for long, but he’d wanted to tell you how much he appreciates you speaking to him so he doesn’t drift away from reality completely. All those little touches, the sound of your voice and your stories, you’ve held him together. Giving him something to focus on. A sense of self after so long.

You can’t separate yourself from him as his mouth slides against yours. Can’t tell if the need and heat are yours or his. But knowing that you see him and that you want to wrap yourself around him, protect him against that fear of being forgotten. Of losing what little of himself is left. Dying alone and forgotten.

Not sure how much of this is real, it feels like it is as he drags you against him. The kiss becoming something desperate, needing to show him he’s still alive. To feel him hold you, touch you. Big servos on your hips, lifting you as you wrap yourself around him. You feel the head of his spike slide against you. Sex and need and fear of being forgotten, left behind, all jangling through you. His thoughts, your thoughts. There’s no separating them as he pulls you down, the hard length of his spike sliding deep to stretch you.

Those big hands on your hips, moving you against him as your mouth brushes the corner of his mouth, hearing him venting raggedly against you. “I see you,” you moan, clinging to him.

“I feel you,” he whispers, against you. “I have you.”

You know it’s true as he keeps moving against you, his spike stroking deep again and again. You’re safe and sheltered here in his arms. He’s been watching over you all along, reaching out but unable to say a word. When he pushes you over that edge and you fist his spike, your climax is a gentle warmth spreading through you. Feeling him rock himself against you, groaning with his own release, helm resting against your forehead as those optics seem to devour you. Because he does see you, he’s seen you all along.

Previous

Next

[thatfrailsoul]

– If you love me, then love me from the heart

tarot pick a pile reading ( → 1, 2, 3 )

pictures from pinterest → one, two, three

Slow down for a moment. Give your conscious mind a moment of rest, allow it to step back. Instead, listen to your subconscious mind, to that inner voice, to the intuition that is guiding you to the pile in which your message hides. A message about the love that your heart is longing for. The one that you are hoping to find…

This is our third reading from our divinatory jukebox, inspired by possibly one of the most beautiful songs that I've ever heard - "Yağmur Yağar Taş Üstüne" by Mustafa Güzel and Batuhan Fırat (feat. Belkıs Güzel). I'm so deeply grateful for the person that suggested this song and gave us the possibility not only to discover it, but also to have such a deep and tender message through this reading. It is difficult to find the correct translation for this song, but I strongly encourage you to listen and read it, as it is simply magical in the softest way. I will leave you the links that were recommended to me here, in case you would like to listen to it. And if you would like to see a pick a pile reading inspired by your favourite song, you can discover more about how to participate here↓♡!

♪♡♪ Divinatory Jukebox ♪♡♪

P.s. This is my first attempt at a longer reading, so if you feel comfortable please let me know in the comments what you think of it! If you prefer the shorter ones, if there is any aspect of the reading that makes it difficult for you to read it, or in case you will take a look at the extended version of this reading, if you would prefer to have something more specific in the additional messages of our readings - I will cherish your opinion and use it to get better with each post!♡

– Pile One,

{ The love that you are longing for }

the magician, the seven of swords, the page of coins

Love… you so often consider it just a feeling. A feeling that after all these years alive you still can really connect only to your own self. To you who seems to be the only one to feel it. To give it. While all that others do is receive it from you. Giving you back some gratitude perhaps, but never something that feels like what you gave them. Nothing that really fills in that part of you that was emptied for them… Making you really wonder if perhaps you got it wrong for all this time, if what you considered love never was it. If you imagined and expected it to be more, made it be more. Giving others much more than any person could ever give you in return, more than you ever should've done…

All that attention, that care, that genuine dedication that you put in, time after time, for every soul that was close, going out of your way to be there, right by their side for whatever might come… But still standing alone when facing your hardships, your difficult moments. Only you on the first line, out there in the cold, just you against this world… You genuinely never thought that this is what love would be. You expected something different from what you always received from others before. A complete opposite of having to do everything on your own, of that fear of what will happen to you if one day things in your life won't work anymore. You thought that it should be different from that because you know for sure that all those years of struggle alone never had even a bit of love in them, not from the people that were all that time around and close to you, but never did anything to help you, apart from telling you that this is how it works and that you should grow and take care of yourself on your own.

You alway imagined it, in those dark and painful nights, a hug, a caressing hand, a soft voice that assures you that everything will be okay, that it won't be forever this way, that you are not alone but you will always have them… So you did your best to be deserving, manifesting those tender and loving ways through your own self. Through the way you looked after others, the way you cared for them. Not only knowing that this is the right way to treat others, the way you genuinely want to be, but that it will be also worth it, that you will one day feel the love you gave, through others that will do the same… But it never came. You never saw your reflection in them, you never saw that part of your heart that you gave away being nourished and taken care of… it was always mostly just appreciated in the moment. And forgotten. Or worst, taken advantage of by expecting or asking more. So after all these tears, all the days dedicated to others instead of yourself, all your prayers for help and support, just a little comfort, that you never received because they are too busy to take a moment to give you back that love that you never declined them…. You started to think that you are in the wrong. That the love you always waited for is just a dream that the real concept of love can’t live up to. No matter how much you can look for it or want it. It is simply not something possible. And you are asking for too much.

{ What this is all for }

the judgement, the ace of swords, the lovers

This world, this life in general… has a really unique way of helping us to learn, of guiding us in or through the right direction and path, of letting us know that everything will be alright… Their language is so different from ours that we really struggle to understand it, those words that come in the form of pure feelings directly from within us. The ones that we should trust the most but never do so. Especially when it comes to love, something that we so much idealise, something that we have so much desire for.

Your heart is so sincerely tired, it went through so many betrayals and wounds inflicted by those that you tried to love. To the point that it simply feels that heaviness, that weight of this experience that you never really wanted to begin with. So you feel like you are ready for something else, for that love that you did all of this for, if it even exists at all. But are you really sure of it..? Of knowing so well the person that you would like to have by your side each day, their character, their behaviour, their values? Are you sure that you really did look for them and not just anyone who seemed to be able to love? Are you sure that you really know your worth and the one of your love, how one must love you in order to really give you all that your heart needs and wants? Or did you think that you knew it before, and now you are settling for much less than you are deserving of, because of the overwhelming loneliness and fear that it will be this way for the rest of your days unless you accept whatever one gives you in return? Are you sure that you are remaining loyal to your own self and your soul, instead of trying to “sell” it to whoever is close and good enough?

Because, even though perhaps you are not doing it consciously, but you are changing. Little by little. Not in terms of who you are, but in the ones of who you allow others to consider you. Leaving it up to them to decide how much you deserve, what is the worth of your love and care that you give them after letting them in, where only the most sincere, genuine and trustworthy should belong. You just give them your all. Every single time. Without any limit or hesitation. Not even when all that you receive is another rude phrase, some judgement, coldness and distance once they got up and healed thanks to your love. You just do it. For everyone. Not choosing carefully, but treating every soul as the right one. And not in a good sense. Instead, you are not listening anymore to your own intuition or feelings, not trusting your own mind that recognises the things that are too off. You are just rushing in this hunt for “the one” as the time passes and you feel more and more scared and alone. You are throwing yourself at every possible connection, all in, wandering each time that it goes wrong what you did too little or too much of. And not realising anymore that it is not about how you love, if it is in the right way or the wrong one… But rather who you choose, even force yourself, to love. And how they are simply not the right one, no matter how much you sacrifice of your own values and preferences, just to make them fit in the place that it is not theirs to hold.

All these bad endings, failures, mistakes that you consider yours to be responsible for… Are just a natural consequence of you settling for less than you really desire and need in order to feel loved. All that sadness, that loneliness… are only your subconscious, your own heart that you willingly ignored at first, but that after some time managed to be heard by you, letting you know that the way you are treated, the crumbs that you accept, will never truly be enough.

Those endings, those coincidences that are never in your favour, those interferences in your connections from the outside world… are just its efforts to protect you and communicate with you, trying to show you that refusing your own standards is not what can help you find them, that right person that you can truly feel safe and understood with… Adapting to another person and changing, it is not what will make them love you like you want. It will only keep you stuck in a play pretend. Put you in situations and relationships that you won’t feel appreciated and cherished in. It will consume you from inside out, slowly but surely, just because that one time you believed more others, than your own self that always knew what was best and right for you, what you really wanted to feel and who you wanted to have with you…

The time already passed, you already got through so much. You can’t do anything about it, and it is alright. But you can do yourself a favour and listen again to your own heart, before following that overwhelming fear and anxiety of being left alone in the cold and the dark. Your heart, your love, they are unique. But not at all the only ones. There is a soul, out there, that is your perfect reflection, someone who resonates so much with your ways of feeling love. And you can and will find them. The moment you stop seeing all that happened and you went through as the mistakes you made, ways that you can be better by being more or less… And start to see them as simply were and when the things didn't feel right for your heart, for who you are. Because those things that you felt the lack of, or perhaps as though it is just too much, are the ones that you need to hold onto, to look for in others. Instead of ignoring them, just so you can fit in the perfect version of love of someone and they can accept you, even though you are not theirs to love…

Although it seems so easy to do through words… We know too well that sometimes it is not enough to just choose to listen to our heart more. It is not always enough when we, in a certain way, forget its language, when we are not able anymore to comprehend it and separate it from the voice of our mind that we learned to follow… For this reason, there is an additional message for you, if you want to, in our extended version of this reading. What you need to know and remember as you continue on this journey, in this search of the right person for you, but also of the confidence and trust in your own heart, that will be the things that will change everything about the situation in which you are now.♡↓

{ a little message for you }

—

– Pile Two,

{ The love that you are longing for }

the wheel of fortune, the sun, the devil

It happened so many times… So often you felt overwhelmed, completely overtaken, by the life of someone you loved… Their problems, their difficulties, their fears that became yours. Yours to resolve, yours to take care of, yours to endure, even though you never could really influence them, not the things that depended on their actions, their decisions. Not when it was something that was purely theirs to create, destroy and live… It happened so many times, truly. You felt so often the urge to be there for someone, just because you knew them, just because you saw their struggle and couldn't help but to try to save them. Because this is what everyone deserves, yes… But with those that had a special place in your heart, those that you felt so close to you, so needed as the air you breathe, there never was a chance for you to say no. Not when your heart so ardently fought for them each day, no matter if it was your battle, your victory to take or not.

One by one they took a part of your life from you, gladly accepting your love, your support and help. And leaving it all to you, to your heart and mind that never were supposed to live so many lives, go through so many situations and emotions, bear so many consequences that were coming from actions that simply weren't yours. And they took it from you. That time and energy, the courage and strength that otherwise would have gone to you, to your own healing, growth and protection. They took it all from you and, worst of all, they were able to do so thanks to you. You who gave it to them, all that you had, in the name of the love that you felt. You that not even once regretted it. Not in the moment at least…

They took so much from you, making you get used to it, to have so little, to give away so much… That now, for once, you want to find someone different. Someone who will not take advantage of your heart. Someone who will understand that, no matter how much you want and try, it is not the right thing to leave it all up to you, to handle their life… Someone who, for once, just knows more, knows better. Someone who can teach you, gently, softly, as they protect you from your own self, from your own urge to disintegrate yourself for the happiness and safety of someone else.

For once… you want to be overwhelmed by someone's joy, their hope, their desire to be here and to live this life. Their strength to choose to see the best aspects of the things. Their strength to be patient, to have faith, to believe that everything will work out in the end. For once you want to receive that strength, not to give it away. For once you want to be protected, guided, as you trust someone who doesn't expect you to lead the way out of the darkness of their days…

It might sound selfish to some, so entitled to look for someone who has it all figured out, who has better and more control of their life… But you are simply tired. And a little lost, if one can say the truth. Tired of figuring everything out constantly, keeping others above the water, as they push you down, never thinking of the air they are taking away from you. It’s not about an easier life, about receiving constant help or guidance, leaving it up to others to make the choice for you… It is about just wanting to have something that is left for your own self too. A little time, a little love, that you can give yourself without being afraid that in the meantime someone would get upset or hurt. You just want to be able to take care of yourself too, not only of those that you love, of your connections, of your situations, that seem to be destroyed each moment you are not looking after them. You just want to have someone that is by your side, living their life, instead of living yours that becomes so scarily about them, their necessities, their dreams, their worry and losses. You just want someone to learn from, or together, how to live this life in the most right and healthy, loving way. Not to teach it. While you yourself don't have any idea of how you are still here, how you made it until now every day.

{ Will you ever find someone like them }

the justice, the eight of wands, the queen of wands

This new and almost desperate desire in your heart now, might feel a lot like frustration, the last realisation of how things should've been when everything already happened, when it is too late to change them… But instead of a tragic end, it is more of a hopeful and promising beginning. The one that you are creating with your each thought, with each moment of understanding of what it is that you really want to feel, when sharing your love. The taste of it, the feeling, the emotions it can give you. With each found answer in your heart you are changing your life, much more than you expect now. Because it really is all about your choices. Your decision of who you will be accepting into your life from now on.

There is a part of you that is growing, getting stronger, preparing to be vigilant and serious about its duty: the one to protect your heart. One little thought created by the tiredness, the sadness of all that you endured… was enough to move the waves of the whole world, of the reality around you. Of who will be brought right to you, and who will be pulled back, not being the right ones. Changing your connections one step, one person at a time. Giving you back the right to decide for yourself, making you remember that you can in fact do it, you can choose the ones dear to your heart.

And it won’t be delusion, entitlement, selfishness, or any sort of limit that you will put on your heart… It will be just you, all grown up, who will now know that it is okay to not take it all on yourself, whatever and whoever comes, because of the fear of what not doing it will cause. It will be your understanding that people can and will make it through on their own, even if they are so afraid or feel incapable of facing their life right now. And it will be also your acceptance that not every story you hear is yours to live, to feel, to make sure it has a good ending. Not everyone is yours to protect and help. Not everyone has the right to come before your own self.

It might be a change that will take its time to settle in, especially in your heart that is just so full of love. Love that you didn't give yourself for so long, pouring it all in the needing hands of those by your side. But it will happen. It will feel safe and right, to allow yourself to choose how much the realities of others influence your life. And as you will go through it, as you will seek that courage and strength… It will be enough to remember that everything will be okay. Even in those moments of uncertainty, it will be enough to hold on tight to the message that we will receive, if you want to, in the extended version of this reading. A message about how you can and will change your life.♡↓

{ a little message for you }

—

– Pile Three,

{ The love that you are longing for }

the ten of wands, the star, the death

It is so difficult to need to explain yourself, your actions, your urges, your reactions. It is tiring to open up your mind and your heart sharing them with others, again and again. Just for them to not understand it, to not pay the slightest of attention, to not take it seriously, all those things that are still consuming your soul… It just feels so useless to go through it, to come out of your comfort zone so hopeful that they would be that right person… only to see them walk away, who scared, who uncomfortable, who deluded or bored. Leaving you feeling like a poor seller who is unable to demonstrate the worth of your broken, lived, soul. When you don't even want to do it in the first place. When it is so ridiculous that you need constantly and so fiercely to defend or explain your wounds, as if they didn't already hurt enough.

It just consumes you. Consumes your every desire to go out there, interact and try to connect with people, creating with such dedication a relationship that - you know it too well - will just be destroyed. By your own past, your own frail soul that is too difficult for others to manage, to use or control. Too delicate to do anything with it without hurting it more.

Deep down you know that not every single person you met was truly so evil at their core. But it still hurts you like hell, being rejected, just put aside, simply because of the way you feel so strongly and deeply every detail about this world. Just because you have more depth to your feelings, more power to the emotions that simply overwhelm you, good or bad, every single bit of them that fills you whole. And that you welcome and feel completely, still remembering how cold and dark it was when there weren't any emotions in you at all.

It just would've been much easier, for once, to not have the need to defend yourself, the way you became. If for once the one in front of you focused on who you are now, and not on who you were or who you could become if only you suppress your soul. Because you changed, yes, and it might be sad to not have that spark that others adored so much about you anymore. But the you who survived still and always deserves the same admiration and love, perhaps even more, after all that you were able to endure. This you who is so different is still you. The you who gave you the strength and courage to face it all. The you who shouldn't at all be forced to explain yourself to those that can't even do one thing: just listen to you, hear you truly, at least for once.

Because it is not so difficult, in the end, to just accept someone and love them for the way they are, without any if or but. You know it well, because you always did it and always do with everyone that is close to you. But while they can be themselves, knowing that they will be truly safe with you, their every wound that will be taken care of without any judgement or expectation to receive something in return… You are always asked to be less or more. To hide your pain, to be more joyful. To not react too much to the things that hurt you. To, instead, be more understanding and patient, accepting, of the ways of others. Even though they never tolerate yours.

So you remain here, among so many of them but still feeling so lonely, so trapped, exactly like it used to feel before. You still are being hurt, even though you had so much courage in not hiding yourself, your scars. Even though you learned to have the needed strength to stand your ground when others didn't see that they were stepping on your heart… And you still hope. That one day, somewhere and someone, for once will just feel drawn to you. Not a memory of you or your potential change. Just someone who, for once, is gentle and kind in their ways. Not because you asked them to, not because they were forced by your tears… But just because they are connected enough to their own heart. Enough to recognise the painfully familiar stories behind your tired and scared eyes. Just one person, just one single time would be enough. Just one single moment in which you would feel loved and cherished the way you are, even with all those fears and doubts that everyone has always something to say about. Just one true and genuine connection. One single chance for your heart to find again the hope that you, exactly the way you are now after all your battles, not less not more, will be enough.

{ You are not in the wrong }

the page of coins, the strength, the six of cups

Finally standing up for yourself, taking your defence, pushing back those that don't make you anymore feel safe… it took a lot of courage, especially when every decision that was already hard enough was also met with judgement, with pure rage, just because for once you weren't ready to be there for someone else. But while you thought that the worst part will be this, finding the strength to prioritise yourself, the most difficult part revealed itself to be resisting the urge to take all your words back, bowing your head, surrendering to discourses of others about how you shouldn't ever do that again, and coming back to your old and consumed self, asking it to endure it once again. But this time with the full awareness of how it is wrong, to give away so much of you, remaining with so little that it is never enough to take care of your own heart and mind…

You are resisting it now with all your strength, but the single thought that they might be right, that you are indeed acting too selfishly, is already enough to shake you to your core, to fill you with the pure terror that you might be becoming one of those that hurt you, coming down to their level without realising what you've done.

But you are not. I promise you. There is nothing wrong in putting yourself first for once. There are no mistakes when you are acting from your heart, from the pure desire to protect yourself now that you are realising that it all just has been too much. You are not the villain here, even if perhaps there isn't one among them either. There is no evil in knowing what you deserve and want, and not accepting nothing less from others, even if they so perfectly mask it with words like “It is the way I love”, “This is the best for you, the best you can ever find or hope for”...

You’ve endured a lot, so much that it is truly non conceivable and admissible that someone belittles it. That someone doesn't give it the importance and incredibly powerful and heart wrenching meaning that you surviving all of that holds. Don't stop for them, for their fears that you will change. Because it has already happened, in the good and in the bad. And if someone can't accept and respect the new you, if they, even in the name of their love, can't accept you… then it is okay. There will be someone else. Someone else who will meet you, get to know you, and learn to appreciate and cherish you for the way you are now, not a memory of who you were.

It might be sad to let go of some people, to lose some connections. It might be frustrating to see their absolute conviction that you are the one in the wrong… But you are tired now, you feel weak after needing to fight against them again and again just to protect yourself… so don't waste your last remaining energy on them, on proving them wrong when they already ended this story as it is more convenient for them in their head. Let them go. Let them be. Not to allow them to think that they are right. But for your own self and to give you that space and time to rest and recover, to take care of yourself.

This world is vast, there are so many of us. Remaining now for a moment alone… doesn't at all condemn you to have all the days of your life lonely and cold. It is just a phase, just a precious moment that will sign a new step in your growth, in how much you consider your own worth and protect yourself at all costs. People come and go. Some are good and some are not. But you are unique, you are the only one you have, the most important person that you need to love and take care of. Even if it means to not accept the love of others, simply because it is so different from what you are longing for. Even if it means to reject the company that you so much want, because they never offer it genuinely but only when it is so convenient and needed for them.

Times will change, you'll start new journeys, go through different paths that will align with others, new and completely different persons. And you'll create new connections, better ones. Better because of the ways and motives of those that will come closer. Better because you will be much more rested, healed and confident after this focus on yourself and this pause. Better because there won't be any play pretend, endurance or feelings that will be ignored. It will be better. Simply because you will learn from your mistakes, you will grow. And so will those that you will let go of, but not at your own expense and endurance of the way your heart hurts for them. Because they might not realise it now, they might be so convinced that you are the one hurting them… but you are making the best decision not only for your own self, but even for them. You are giving all of you a new chance. A chance that you for sure will take and use it to nourish a new beginning in your life, new connections that will love you, cherish you, protect you at all costs. Exactly like it should be between truly loving souls.

And if it feels still a little too overwhelming, a little too scary and unsure, the decision to put yourself first… There is a little message about the future, at what it holds, in our extended version of this reading, right here, if you want or feel the need to hear more.♡↓

{ a little message for you }

—

_

[zwhoreo]

what would happen if Luffy ans reader have a Big argument ?

ty for the request!! :) this is my angstiest one yet ooo (but I could never have a non-happy ending)

careless scars - luffy x gn!reader

angst (fluffy ending)

summary: luffy recklessly abandons you in a dangerous situation to find and save zoro, and you get injured. your feelings are hurt and your heart is broken, and your ensuing fight with luffy leaves you not speaking for days. until, of course, you find each other again for comfort

contains: distressing emotional situations, reader hits luffy, everyone is sad, but happy/comforting ending <3

words: 2.4k

________________________

The dungeon is dark and Luffy holds you. Only his precarious torch guides you through the midnight catacombs, knee-deep in dark water, you’re terrified and shaking and Luffy’s hand on your waist is the only thing you have right now. He’s tight-lipped and facing straight ahead, you’re wordless, you hope you aren’t lost.

Evading the monsters of the dungeon has taken a lot out of you, mentally and physically, as you and the crew have battled for escape and now it feels like hours since you’ve all been separated, terrified and in a ceaseless search for light. Luffy wouldn’t leave your side, partly because you’ve clung to him this whole time, you had lost your cutlass and twisted your ankle, your shirt is torn, you’re very vulnerable and you need him. You’re not proud of it, usually you’re reliable and independent, usually you’re someone Luffy can count on to do well on your own, even in the worst of times, but today isn’t like that. He can tell by how your nails dig into his shoulders.

Every corner turn feels agonizingly slow, your organs tightening with each knot of anticipation, there can only be death or light or more darkness and the three possibilities war within you with every step. Dust falls from the dungeon ceiling. Stone creaks, how far are you below the sky? Not knowing when you’ll find the exit, or when you’ll find your friends, or if they’ll make it out too, you’re left in a limbo of uncertainty and dread. You’re forced to move slowly because of your ankle, you’ve been trying to walk it off but the unclean saltwater is making the inflammation burn.

A scream echoes through the tunnel in front of you, freezing you and Luffy in place. You know that voice, it’s Zoro, tinny and distorted from the stone and water but so real and so filled with agony and desperation. It’s a call for help.

“ZORO!” Luffy yells back, his heart pounding in his chest, breathing becoming erratic, “please! Where are you??”

But there’s no answer. Luffy turns to you, fear-filled eyes watering, and he places a hand on your shoulder, determination filling his voice.

“Stay here. I need to go help Zoro. I’ll be back for you, [name].” And before you have a chance to react he lets go of your body, your warmth and light leaving you, racing off down the corridor and disappearing.

You trip and fall to your knees without him, soaking you up to your waist. You’re left with nothing and no one and you’re too scared even to scream. You can’t do anything, left weaponless and injured, the water ripples around you and you can’t even move. And you’re forced to wait like this until sound ricochets behind you, an inhuman and ancient sound, the water exploding around you and stone crunching as if it were sand. Writhing, ink-black eels with unseeing eyes and too-symmetrical fangs are bursting from the walls in a tidal wave of suffocation, blood-lust for your fear. You can tell they’re eels from the way they squirm and splash against your body, and the walls cave in and stone tumbles upon you, but it’s only these sensations of pain and cacophonic sound that guide you to your horrible new reality because there’s no light anymore, not at all. Immobile, all you can do is scream and swing wildly with your hands as you’re dragged to the ground, plunged beneath the water that now grows thick with the fallen stone and with your blood.

You’re convinced for a moment that you’ve died, your brain can’t process the warmth and the flood of air to your lungs. Your eyes fly open as you soar from the ground, carried securely as the ceiling overhead shatters, you’re drowned in beautiful, beautiful light and sky at last. You’re laying bridal-style in Sanji’s arms, with one powerful kick he’s freed you both from the dungeon, the island luckily not far above. You look up at him, your head resting against his chest, he’s breathing heavily, staring stoically upwards. It’s all over.

____________________________________

You wake up in Chopper’s office. Your head is ringing and you feel so heavy, and your left leg is numb, and the whole room is blurry. Chopper rushes over to you, hopping up on a stool and resting a hoof on your shoulder.

“[Name]! Oh, I’m so glad you’re awake, how’re you feeling?” he says, smiling down at you.

“Not… ah, I mean, my leg just…”

“Mm. You got a pretty big gash on your lower leg. I've been trying to fight off the infections all night, but you seem to be stabilizing. It’s lucky how fast Sanji was able to find you.” Chopper’s ears twitch a bit with nerves.

“Thank you, Chopper.” You manage a smile for him. “Is everyone else ok? Did we all make it out?”

And so Chopper tells you how yes, everyone’s ok, the whole crew escaped the dungeon and found the ship again. And you and Zoro are the only two who ended up with serious injuries, Zoro with three broken ribs and you with your mauled leg. But you’ll both make full recoveries, so it’s alright. And you’re told that you’ll have to be very careful for at least a week, until the stitches and staples can be safely removed, that’s a long time to limp around the ship and lie in bed but you’re just grateful right now that everything’s all over.

Worried about Zoro and his whereabouts, Chopper leaves you to rest and stare at the ceiling. And that’s when Luffy bursts in, coming over to you and sitting on the bed, looking at you with concern. And you stare back at him, neither of you say anything, until he leans in to give you a hug and starts asking after you.

“Don’t touch me, Luffy.” You look away, your voice is ice.

He freezes. He isn’t used to this from you, he looks betrayed, a bit, and confused, this makes you feel angrier because how can he not see what he did wrong? His eyes narrow and slowly he gets up, and turns, and leaves, and now you’re here alone again.

_______________________________________

You’re sitting alone on the deck. You’re getting air, your leg is raw and in pain and the cool evening air is refreshing against your face. Your hands are folded in your lap, you just want to sit here in silence.

Steps you don’t want to hear, a tap on your shoulder you don’t want to feel, you don’t want Luffy to be here right now and you don’t want to have this conversation but he’s perched next to you, leaning over you. He wants a hug, probably. He misses you.

“Hey, are you mad?” he asks in a small voice, head cocked.

“Yeah,” is all you say.

He just looks at you, biting his lip.

“You left me alone in the tunnel when I was hurt. I could barely walk on my own and I didn’t have a weapon or… or anything!” Hey, no, don’t cry yet, you think to yourself. Your voice is breaking. “I really, really needed you!”

Luffy sort of curls away from you, his fists are balled tightly. “I had to help Zoro! He was in trouble! I don’t know what you wanted me to do, [name]!”

“Really? Really you don’t know?” You’re so upset and sad, you stand up to get away from him, stumbling on your burning leg, defiant. “You could’ve carried me! You could’ve put me on your back! You could at least have found somewhere dry and safe for me to hide, you could have given me a light, I don’t know, Luffy! You could have done so many things…” You’re really, truly near tears now. “I was hurt, I was defenseless, I was scared, I thought you knew all that…”

“Zoro needed my help.” Luffy is scary when he’s mad, it’s awful when he’s mad at you, when his voice gets authoritative. “I’m not sure what to say, [name], I was going to come back for you-”

“But you didn’t! Sanji saved me. I could’ve died, Luffy!”

He makes this little angry whine in his throat and then says, “I just needed to rely on you! I had to help Zoro!”

Which makes you snap. “Stop saying that!” you shout, “I was hurt and scared and I couldn’t fight!” And out of rage and cloudy pain you scream, “WHY AREN’T YOU LISTENING TO ME??” and strike Luffy across the face.

You expect this not to hurt him. It shouldn’t, not with his rubber body, it’s more a display of your deep anguish and frustration, but he cries out in pain and clutches his face. He begins to cry. Your heart is crushed into sand.

But you can’t do this anymore and you just limp away.

_______________________________________

These two days are so long. They’re so, so long, longer than two years. Your leg flares up in horrible, unending pain and your heart wails to you but you can’t do anything. You’re so angry. You and Luffy aren’t speaking, he avoids you, he looks away stoically when you’re close by. This has never happened to you, you miss that loving, sweet boy attached to you like a koala, you miss getting kissed, you miss everything. But neither of you know what to say. You’re both sad and torn up inside, Luffy just feels so confused and frustrated all the time now, shutting down completely.

Everyone else knows what happened. Zoro feels really terrible but he doesn’t say anything to either of you, he just retreats, cursing to himself over his own weakness, blaming himself and his vulnerability in that dungeon for hurting two of his best friends. Even with his broken ribs he trains and trains and reopens his wounds. And nobody knows how to help any of you. Not even Chopper, his pleading eyes begging Zoro to stay in bed, words stuck in his throat as he rebandages your wound, wiping blood away with shaking hooves.

But finally in the deep light of one sunset, at the end of those two days, you’re making your way slowly off of the deck when you hear your name screamed from behind.

You turn your head and Luffy scoops you up and slams you against the mast, he’s crying and shaking and holding you tightly in his arms.

“Please, please, I can’t do this anymore! I don’t wanna be mad at you, I don’t! I hate this!” he shouts in your face, voice loud and wavering.

You don’t know what to do but this feeling enveloping your body is incredible, so warm, your soul craved this in spite of it all.

“I’m so sorry, I feel so bad, I didn’t mean to get ya hurt, [name]! Oh, god…” He sinks down the mast onto the deck with you in his arms. “I don’t wanna forgive myself. I shoulda carried you, but I didn’t wanna put you in danger ‘cause I didn’t know where Zoro was, I really thought it was gonna be ok, and I was gonna come back for you, I really was!”

“Luffy… it’s ok, I’m sorry…” You wrap your arms gently around his body, your own tears coming now. “I just wanna forget all this, I hate when we’re mad at each other… I love you.”

“Mm- I love you too!” Luffy grins, eyes closed, face wet. “I just wanna keep you safe, that’s all I want.”

“It’s hard sometimes,” you whisper, “you love us so much, I know it’s hard, I know you get scared too.”

“I do get scared,” he murmurs, nuzzling into your shoulder, leaving tear streaks on your neck. “I just wanna make it all better…”

You’re smiling now. This is such a relief, such a weight off your heart, so you carefully lift his hat so you can ruffle his hair. “This is a good start.”

His hand goes to your leg, caressing timidly up and down your skin, his face is against yours but he’s looking down at your bandages, eyes scared and concerned.

“Ooh, [name], Chopper was teaching me how to make scar tissue stronger!” He taps the center of his torn chest. “You use two fingers and uh, like, make these little circles on ‘em, maybe I can do it on your wound and you can feel better?” He’s staring at you excitedly.

His kindness makes your chest feel warm. “You’re sweet, Lu, but it’s not a scar yet. You shouldn’t touch wounds when they’re fresh. I’d like that when it’s healed up, though…”

“Oh.” He’s a little disappointed, but understanding, and now he’s going back to thinking more, nibbling your shoulder a bit to get his mind working. “Sometimes when I’m hurt, Robin gives me massages. They feel real nice, do you want one?”

This sounds so good and you snuggle against him with the promise of such a perfect gift. “I’d really like that, actually. Maybe on my thigh? It’s pretty sore from all the limping.”

So Luffy leans into you in joy and relief, turning you around and pulling you into his lap, you turn your head to look up at him and everything seems to be ok now. You lay on his chest and his hands find your thigh on your hurt leg, he’s clumsy and doesn’t know what he’s doing but you feel him shivering in concentration, kneading your sore muscle with his fingers, and then with his palms, his skin smooth and calming against yours. He’s breathing softly in your ear, you close your eyes and let yourself be bathed in his touch, in his unwavering love for you.

Maybe you’ll need to have a real conversation about this with him, later. But now all you want to do is sit here against him, his weight shifting against you as he rubs your skin and hums quietly under his breath to soothe both of you.

“I love you,” you say again, very quietly, “and I’m gonna love you forever.”

He nods. He knows this well. His nose presses against your cheek, lips seeking yours, wanting to taste your words. And he echoes, “me too. Forever.”

[holylulusworld]

Lumberjack Tales - The Hairy Bear (4)

Summary: You’re back.

Pairing: Lumberjack!Ari Levinson x fem!Reader

Warnings: fluff, unplanned pregnancy, remorse, we love Bear

This story is part of my Lumberjack Tales masterlist

Catch up here: Lumberjack Tales - The Hairy Bear (Snippet)

Written for @buck-star "Fluffy Winter Event"

I used the tropes: Cabin in the woods + Grumpy x Sunshine + soon to be parents

Ari didn’t let you out of sight. He made sure Bear, and he would flank your sides until you arrived at your apartment. At least, he didn’t complain about your small apartment.

While you watched Ari and Bear step inside your apartment, an uneasy feeling spread in your chest. You wrung your hands while intrusive thoughts made you anxious.

What if it’s a mistake to go back? What if he regrets taking you home? What if he hates the baby and you? What ifs swirled in your mind as Ari looked around your home.

“What do you want to take with you? We’re not going to come back here,” he said, pointing toward the couch in your living room. “I only need to know what you’re taking with you, and you’ll sit here and have a rest.”

“Ari,” you sighed and shook your head. “We can’t go back to what we had so easily. What if you change your mind again? I already quit my job, and now you want me to give up my apartment too. If I leave now I won’t have a place to return to.”

“Good,” he said, and wrapped his arm around your middle to guide you toward the couch. “Now sit and tell me what you’ll need at our home. Bear will keep you company.”

Sitting down on your couch, you sighed again, a little louder this time.

“What is it? Are you in pain? Is it the baby?” Ari sat next to you on the couch to rest his head on your belly. “Baby, are you okay in there? Are you bugging your mommy? Be good. She needs a rest. Your daddy was an idiot.”

“It’s that I’m scared you’ll change your mind again. I can’t do this again. Men always tell you they want you back and change their mind easily the moment a new face shows up.”

“My sweet tramp,” Ari murmured against your belly. “I only want you. Do you honestly believe I moved into the cabin in the middle of nowhere to bring girls home every other day?”

“I don’t know you well enough to tell if you’re a kinky bastard keeping girls in your basement,” you sassed back. “I feared you’d put me down there too.”

Ari chuckled against you, “I only ever wanted to put you in my bed, naughty girl. So, can I pack your things or do you want Bear to beg you even more?” Bear whined loudly at the mention of his name. “Y/N, look at him. He has missed his mommy so much. The poor dog barely ate his food.”

“Ari—” you sniffed and wiped your wet eyes. “I’m scared that you’ll turn your back on me again. How can I trust you again?”

“Little tramp, I know it’s much to ask for, but please have a little faith in me. Our relationship started with a nice chase and the best sex I ever had. You know that there is more between us than sex now”

You watched him rub your belly. It felt odd having Ari so close again.

“I don’t like getting yelled at.”

“I swear, Y/N.” Ari wrapped his arms around you and nuzzled your belly. “I need you back in my life. There will be no yelling. Your grumpy bear will tame his temper for you.”

“I don’t want you to be tame,” you teased while patting his head. “I want you to promise me that we will talk about the things bugging you.”

“Promised, my little tramp.”

Ari did quick work. He got lots of moving boxes and packed up all of your things. Luckily, your apartment was furnished, so you didn’t have to take any furniture with you.

On your way back, you slept in the backseat, cuddled up with Bear. Ari drove slower than ever in his life, afraid to crash his car with you and his baby onboard.

He glances in the rearview mirror more than once, a content smile on his lips. Ari imagined you all swollen with his child.

“Bear, we got lucky with our little tramp. I bet our baby will keep you on your toes, you beast…”

Tail-waggling Bear was following you around the cabin. The Estrela Mountain Dog decided to play your bodyguard. Even Ari had to prove that he was no threat.

“Bear,” you cooed and patted his head as the huge dog sat next to you on the couch. He rested his head on your lap and whined, begging for cuddles. “You’re such a good boy.”

Ari watched you and Bear cuddle on the sofa. He sighed because you still showed him the cold shoulder. You barely let him kiss you goodnight.

“Baby?” Ari tried to get your attention. “I wanted to drive to town to get more supplies. It’s getting colder, and the roads will be more dangerous soon. Do you need anything?”

You looked at Ari, holding back a chuckle. Watching him grovel was your sweet revenge on him. “I’ll come with you. I need to get out for a while.”

“Wait. Uh—why don’t you stay here?” Ari asked. “I can get everything you’ll need.”

“Ari, I’ll need some lady’s toiletries,” you grinned at him. “Skincare, shampoo, and all the nice things you don’t care much about.”

“You can use my shampoo,” he said and touched his shaggy hair. “If it’s good for my hair, it’s good for yours, too.”

You snorted. “No, it’s not. I’ll come with you. If you’re scared, I’ll run again, you can hold my hand the whole time.”

He smirked and said, “I’ll keep you up on that promise, tramp. Now, I’ll get your boots and help you put them on.”

“Ari, I’m pregnant, not sick.”

He raises one hand. “You’re pregnant with my baby, and I’ll make sure you and our bean are safe and sound. No discussion.”

“Fine, fine,” you agreed. “Get the boots, and we can be on our way…”

“Not much to see here,” Ari admitted as you looked around one of the few stores in town. “I can lead you to the lady’s products.”

“I think I’m good, Ari,” you tried to let go of his hand, but he wouldn’t let you. You sighed and gave in.

Following Ari toward the shelf with crèmes and lotions, you felt eyes on you. The girl at the checkout watched you giggle at something Ari said. He suggested buying all the lotions to rub some into Bear’s fur to make him look pretty, too.

“Ari, no,” you giggled and playfully elbowed him. “Bear is a pretty boy. He doesn’t need lotions.”

“Same goes for you, little tramp.” He leaned down to peck your temple, earning an eye roll from the cashier. She huffed and crossed her arms over her chest. All the time she invested to seduce Ari just went down the drain. “So, what will we get for you.”

She walked around the checkout to listen to your and Ari’s conversation. Susie wasn’t willing to give up yet.

“I have a list.” You got your list out of your pocket to hand it to Ari. “We should get a few more things they don’t have here.”

“We can order everything online. I got a guy for that.” You chuckled at the seriousness in his voice. “Name it, and it’s yours.”

“Nipple cream for sore nipples.” His cheeks turned pink at that. “What? They’re going to be sore. Things like that happen when you’re pregnant.”

Susie gasped. If you’re pregnant, there was not much hope she could win Ari over.

“I’ll get you all the cream in the world,” Ari purred and stole a kiss.

“Maybe,” you said and fisted his jacket, “we should get some lube too…”

“Oh, sweet tramp,” he replied before stealing another kiss, “we won’t need lube. We both know you’re dripping wet for me all the time…”

Part 5

Tags in reblog.

[aphroditelovesu]

Letters from Olympias

❝commission: this is more abstract idea, but I'd be interested to see something with a 'letters to and from Olympias' theme. I've always wondered how Alexander broke the news of his marriage to y/n to his mother and how she reacted. The same goes for the birth of the twins. — requested by 💻 anon.

❝ 📜 — lady l: obviously there is a jump between letters, since events are yet to occur and writing a letter to them would be a big spoiler, but I focused on the ones that were mentioned in the story and at the birth! I hope you like it and forgive me for any mistakes! I tried to leave as much of the personality that I imagine Olympias to be as possible. :)

❝tw: none.

❝word count: 2,052.

Letter from Olympias to Alexander after the attack on Cleitus and the news of the choice of bride:

"My dearest Alexander,

I hope these words find you in health and strength, even though my heart is restless as I write them. I have received news that has left me torn between concern and the need to advise you as a mother and as someone who has always longed to see your glory untouched.

I have learned that in a moment of anger you nearly killed Cleitus, a man who was loyal to you in so many battles and whose heart, though critical, was always devoted to your cause. Alexander, the greatness of a king is not measured only by his victories on the battlefield, but also by his ability to govern himself. Anger, when left unchecked, can be more destructive than the sharpest of enemies. I was relieved to learn that he survived, for I had feared the impact it would have on your heart and the loyalty of your soldiers if the gods did not favor Cleitus's recovery.

I also heard about your choice of bride, (Y/N), a woman whose origins are unknown to me and my sources in the camp. I confess that I was greatly surprised, not by the idea of ​​a marriage, but by the fact that such an important decision was made without me, your mother, even being informed. Alexander, you know that I have always wanted the best for you, and as your mother, I have the right to understand the choices that shape your future and the future of our empire.

(Y/N) may be beautiful, she may be kind, but a King's marriage is not just a matter of personal affection. It is an alliance, a strategy, a decision that echoes beyond your life. Does she understand the weight of your crown? Will she be able to walk by your side without her presence weakening the image the world has of you?

I do not say this to belittle your feelings or your choice, but to remind you that a king’s destiny is never his alone. You are Alexander, undefeated in battle, my son, and your every step is watched by your men, your allies, and your enemies.

I ask you, my son, to reflect on your actions and choices. Do not allow passion or pride to distance you from those who love you and want the best for you. And above all, remember that your strength lies not only in your sword, but also in your wisdom and your ability to listen.

Whatever your decision, Alexander, I am your mother and will always be your ally. But please do not exclude me from your life. My concern is not only for the throne, but for you, my beloved son, who carries the world on your shoulders.

With love and concern, Olympias."

Letter from Olympias to Alexander after the wedding had already taken place:

"My beloved Alexander,

I received the news of your marriage to (Y/N), and my heart is filled with feelings that conflict with each other. As a mother, I cannot ignore the joy of knowing that you have found someone worthy of sharing your days. But as Queen and guardian of your lineage, I cannot help but express my surprise and concern at the way in which this union took place.

You are Alexander, my son, the conqueror of nations, the son of a god — and yet you chose to walk such a crucial path without even consulting your mother, who has always been by your side, guiding you, protecting you, and celebrating your victories. The absence of a word from you about this decision hurts me deeply, for I am not only your mother, but also someone who shares the weight of your burdens and responsibilities.

About (Y/N), I know nothing beyond what I have heard: that she appeared unexpectedly and won your heart. Who is this woman who now bears the title of your wife, your Queen, and by extension, such an important role in the destiny of our empire? What alliances does she bring with her? What strengths or weaknesses does she bring to your court? Will she replace me? No, how foolish of me to think so, no one could ever replace me in your life.

I do not doubt your ability to judge people, but, Alexander, a royal marriage is not just an act of love; it is a declaration to the world. It is a promise of stability, of strength, of strategy. What will your men say, who follow you for glory and the promise of a great future? What will the kings and generals say who watch you, waiting for any sign of weakness to rise up against you?

If (Y/N) is your choice, then so be it. As your mother, I will wish nothing less than happiness for you. But, Alexander, the happiness of a King is not the same as that of a common man. Your happiness must be aligned with the good of your empire, the future of your dynasty, and the preservation of your glory.

I ask that you allow me to meet your wife, so that I can understand what inspired you to make such a decision in (Y/N). I want to believe that she is worthy of you, not only as a man, but as the greatest of kings.

And, my son, always remember that I am here, as I have always been, to support you, to advise you and to love you, even when we disagree. You are my greatest work, my greatest pride and, above all, my son.

With eternal love, Your mother, Olympias."

Letter from Olympia to Alexander after (Y/N)'s disappearance:

"My beloved Alexander,

The news that has reached my ears about your wife's disappearance has filled me with concern, both for you and for the impact that this situation may have on your heart and your kingdom.

I can imagine the pain and uneasiness that you must be feeling. I know that, despite my initial reluctance to accept your choice, (Y/N) has become part of your life, and her absence must be a difficult blow to bear. As a mother, my heart goes out to you, but as a Queen, I feel obliged to speak frankly.

Your wife's disappearance is not only a personal tragedy; it is also an event that reverberates throughout your court and throughout your empire. Your allies will question your strength, your enemies may see it as an opportunity, and the people, always eager for stories, will create rumors that may tarnish your image.

Therefore, my son, I ask that you hold your head high and your mind clear. Your grief is legitimate, but your responsibility as King demands that you not allow it to consume you. Investigate the disappearance with all diligence, but do so with wisdom and prudence. Make sure that your search for answers does not compromise your leadership or distract you from your greater goals.

If your wife has been the victim of misfortune, may the truth be discovered and justice prevail. If there is more to it — conspiracy or betrayal — may your intellect and strength unravel the mystery and ensure that no greater harm befalls you or your kingdom.

Know that I am here to support you, as I always have been. If you need advice, resources, or strength, do not hesitate to turn to me. Even if we have disagreed in the past, my loyalty to you is unwavering.

And above all, Alexander, remember that you are the son of a god and a Queen. There is no storm you cannot weather, no shadow that can extinguish your light.

With love and devotion, Olympias."

Letter from Olympias to Alexander after the news of Perdiccas' betrayal:

"My beloved Alexander,

The news that has reached me is as serious as it is painful. Knowing that (Y/N) has been kidnapped by Perdiccas, a man you once called a friend, is a deep wound not only in your heart, but also in the honor of your empire.

I confess that I am overcome with fury and indignation. Betrayal is the most vile of crimes, even more so when it comes from someone who shared your childhood, your battles, and your trust. Perdiccas not only betrayed you as King, but he also dishonored the bonds of friendship and loyalty that once united him to you.

It does not surprise me that the Persians should be the fate of a traitor such as he. His choice to ally himself with our enemies only reinforces the nature of his treachery. But, Alexander, do not allow anger to blind you. This is a time to act with strategy and with the wisdom that made you the greatest of leaders.

Your wife is now in the hands of a man no longer worthy of your compassion. Rescuing her is more than a personal duty; it is a demonstration to the world that no one can defy Alexander and get away with it. Organize your forces, but do so cautiously. Every step must be calculated, every move decisive. And when you take her back, my son, show no mercy to your enemies.

And remember, my son, that Perdiccas's betrayal is not only an offense to you, but to all who believe in you and follow your leadership. This act of disloyalty must be met with firmness, so that it may serve as a lesson to all who dare challenge you.

Know that I am here to support you, as I have always been. If you need advice or resources, send me a word, and I will do what I can to strengthen your position. And never forget, Alexander, that your strength lies not only in your sword, but also in your ability to inspire loyalty and fear in equal measure.

May your anger be just, your strategy infallible, and your victory certain.

With love and determination, Your mother, Olympias."

Letter from Olympias to Alexander after the birth of the twins:

"My beloved Alexander,

Upon receiving the news of the birth of your children, my grandchildren, my heart overflows with joy and pride. Cyrus and Aella — such strong names, so full of meaning and destiny — are now part of our lineage, bringing hope and continuity to your legacy.

Know that this is a moment that marks not only your life, but the history of your entire empire. The birth of your heirs symbolizes the promise of a great future and the perpetuation of what you have achieved with so much effort and determination.

I can only imagine the sparkle in your eyes as you hold each of them for the first time. The responsibility you already carry as a king now multiplies, for you are not only the leader of an empire, but also the father of two souls who depend on you to guide them through this world. I know you will be as great a father as you are a king, for your heart, though often hardened by battle, is capable of loving deeply.

Cyrus, with a name that evokes the greatness of ancient kings, carries within him the strength and leadership that shaped our people. Aella, whose name evokes the winds and freedom, will bring balance, grace, and wisdom to our family. Together, these two little ones will be living proof of your strength and your love.

I want to meet my grandchildren as soon as possible. I want to hold them, look into their eyes, and see the sparks of your greatness and courage in them. I want to tell them stories of their ancestors, of your journey, and of the glories you brought into the world.

As your mother, my heart is filled with love for these children who are now part of our family. I want to know them, hold them in my arms, and offer them the protection and love that I have always given you. I also want to be by your side, helping you guide them so that they grow not only as heirs to a great empire, but as people worthy of their position and their history.

May your wife be well after bringing these two precious children into the world. Send her my blessings and my respect, for she has played a sacred role in strengthening our lineage. Despite the hardships we have faced in the past, I see now that she is destined to be an essential part of your life and our empire.

Alexandre, this is a new chapter in your life, and I know you will rise to this challenge, just as you have risen to all the others. Being a father is an honor and a responsibility that requires not only strength, but also patience, wisdom, and unconditional love. I am certain that you will be as extraordinary a father as you are a leader.

Know that I am here, ready to help in any way you need, whether as a grandmother, as a counselor, or simply as someone who loves you above all else. May Cyrus and Aella grow up surrounded by love, guided by your example, and blessed by the gods.

With all my love and pride, Your mother, Olympias."

[perfectlyoongi]

EX-BOYFRIEND!YOONGI who still has your pillow on his bed, just because it smells like you. no matter how much time had passed, Yoongi swore that particles of your essence were still reveling in that white pillow; no matter how much time had passed, Yoongi swore he still felt you every night, when his thoughts were more violent and his heart asked for comfort, asked for you; no matter how much time had passed, Yoongi would never wash that pillow, fearing that the memories of you would drown in the sea of neglect that covered the entire space outside the bed, outside of Yoongi’s safe haven. yes, no matter how much time had passed, Yoongi would never be able to forget how your soul smelled like home. “i carry with me the weight of the longing you left behind. part of me wants to believe that it’s all just a dream. but when the moon is high and my thoughts suffocate me, it’s your comfort that i miss. it’s you that i miss.”

EX-BOYFRIEND!YOONGI who looks for you in every crowd. he knew he was just hurting himself, but Yoongi couldn’t stop his eyes from taking in each face closely, hoping to see your sweet smile on them, hoping to see your bright eyes on them, hoping to see you in the middle of them. without noticing, Yoongi always found himself in the middle of crowds, those places he always avoided and preferred to see from afar; but now, when your departure squeezed Yoongi’s heart and the longing for you guided Yoongi’s steps, he always ended up in the middle of the crowds, wanting, waiting, begging, to see you one last time. “your existence haunts me. the ghost of our memories wanders among the crowds, seeking from them the love they know only you can give. it’s a game without any victories.”

EX-BOYFRIEND!YOONGI who goes back to the places where he kissed you to relive the memories. the days were grey, painted in tones of melancholy, and Yoongi could only feel his heart sink. it was there that he kissed you for the first time, your shy smile was still stuck on the small park bench; it was in front of that tree that Yoongi said the first i love you to you, your nervous laugh still echoed through the tree’s branches; it was in front of that window that you stole a kiss that tasted like caramel, he could still see his rosy cheeks in the immaculate glass of the store. the entire city was a map of Yoongi’s happiest moments; in every corner, in every nook, in every neighborhood lived fragments of your soul and the memory of you covered every street with a permanent veil of pure guilt, regret, longing, love. “it is in these places that the beauty of your soul still endures. and it was in those places that i kissed you and loved you and swore to always love you. and i will always love you.”

EX-BOYFRIEND!YOONGI who spends sleepless nights wondering where he went wrong. had Yoongi forgotten any important dates? no. your birthday was celebrated with laughter, the smiles from your anniversary still painted works of art in Yoongi’s heart. would his work have interfered in any way with your life together? no. Yoongi no longer spent nights in the studio. Yoongi had already stopped locking himself in his office when he was at home. Yoongi had renounced his art, his passion, to be able to love you. but, was that Yoongi’s mistake? did he love you too much? was Yoongi’s love so big, so intense, so suffocating, that it only gave you one way out? a way out of his life? “tell me if my devotion was the cause of my destruction. i ask you. please, tell me where i went wrong so i can love you again. tell me what i didn’t do so i can have your love again.”

EX-BOYFRIEND!YOONGI who can’t look in the mirror without seeing you next to him. it was a constant agony that stepped and beat in Yoongi’s heart, squeezing tightly all the love he still felt, sharply attacking all the longing he had. and Yoongi only had to look in the mirror to feel it, to see it. there you were. always smiling, your hand gently holding Yoongi’s hand, your eyes locked on him. entire years were spent living next to you, living with you. entire days were spent in a weightless sea of pure love and fascination. and now, looking in the mirror, Yoongi felt empty, he felt incomplete. now, looking in the mirror, Yoongi’s heart manufactured a memory of you, cruelly reminding him that what was next to Yoongi was just the hope that still made his heart beat.

EX-BOYFRIEND!YOONGI who is slowly isolating himself. the crowds stopped hiding your face in them; the streets cleared every step you had walked; Yoongi’s house expelled all your essence without his permission. and now, lost in the middle of nowhere, without finding any hope in his sheets, in your pillow, Yoongi just sat on the floor and stayed there. still. the longing of you was the only thing that still made him live, still made him exist. every step Yoongi had taken, led him to that exact moment, to that point wh—

EX-BOYFRIEND!YOONGI who can’t say the word love again — for, without you being in his life, what meaning did that word have?

[nsharks]

pls give us some blurb😔 I'm so sad today😔😔😔

Here is my revised preview for the next part!

B

"Hold him close to your chest, or he'll jump out of your arms. Here—like this."

Blue gently cradles the rabbit against her chest, then carefully tucks him into Ari's arms, guiding his hands to scoop under Grim's fluffy rear. She can't help but find it amusing that the boy who had taken her riding on such a large animal yesterday looks so wary holding a harmless bunny. A giggle bubbles up, and she bites her lip to keep it in.

"He's so... squirmy."

Blue keeps her hand on Grim, reassuring both the rabbit and him. "He's just ready for his breakfast. Want to help me feed him?"

"Sure."

Blue leads Ari to the hutch where the other rabbits are. She explains her morning routine, showing him how to supply the rabbits with enough grass, leaves, and berries to keep them healthy and plump. Not long ago, she was explaining this to Twix—the very person she forgot to say good morning to in a rush to find Ari outside. This time around, she wonders if Ari is genuinely interested or just being polite. She finds herself stealing glances at his face, studying his expressions perhaps longer than she should. His almond-shaped eyes and dark pink lips catch her attention.

He's cute.

It's not the first time the thought has crossed her mind since these strangers appeared. Cute like the men in her magazines, though he's not quite a man. Not in the way Ghost is. But he's taller than her by a head and two years older, evident in the notch on his throat and the deeper timbre of his voice.

But it doesn't matter. They are only here for a few days.

Blue closes the hutch and rocks on the soles of her boots. "Well, that was probably boring, huh? We could, um, go hunting if you want. Or to the pond. It's fun to swim there. Or maybe—" She pauses, mentally sifting through the limited activities available, frustration creeping in as none of them seem particularly impressive.

"This wasn't boring," Ari says with a chuckle. "Now I know rabbits are just as friendly as horses."

"They are... except when Grim gets mad. Then he can be a bit of a jerk. Like if you accidentally step on his tail."

"I'd be pretty pissed if someone stepped on my tail, too."

"You don't have a tail."

"It's just a joke."

"Oh..." she fidgets with a strand of hair. "Right."

"The pond sounds good. It is fucking hot." Ari blows out a breath and swipes at the back of his neck.

"I know. So hot. Hot as balls."

Ari raises an amused brow. "Yeah, uh, hot as balls. Are you allowed to go by yourself, or do we need to ask your dad?"

"I get to do what I want," she lies easily with a shrug. "Buuuuut, we can ask Twix to go with us."

As long as Twix is with her, she suspects she can get away with not asking Ghost, who luckily is hunting with his old captain. It's not that he seems distrusting with these people as he did those first few months with Twix. Rather—she isn't thrilled about him knowing every little thing she does. She's never had anything just to herself. 

Twix is sitting on the porch, looking rather deep in thought as she skins a squirrel. Her hair is long, curtaining her face. When Blue asks if she wants to go to the pond, she agrees easily, claiming she has been meaning to cut her hair anyway with the encroaching warmth of summer. Nereida joins, too. 

The pond water is cool to the touch. Ari rips his shirt off and jumps in without even a second to waste. Blue usually swims in her underwear and shirt, but she hesitates with her thumb in the belt loops of her jeans. She didn't consider that he would see her in her underwear. 

A soft touch to her shoulder. It's Twix. "Want me to grab you shorts real quick?"

"Um... yes. Yes please."

She changes into the shorts behind a tree. There is an odd pit in her stomach when she gets in the water. She doesn't quite know what it is, but it's similar to how she feels when she's scared sometimes. Ghost always tells her fear is a useless thing. It doesn't keep you alive. So she ignores it, shoves it down deep, and swims over to Ari with a purposeful splash that even wets Twix, who sits at the edge sharpening her knife.

"Damn. That's gonna cost you."

A splash is given in return, and then they are playing. High noon bounces shimmering light off the water as she tries to keep up with him, but at one point he sneaks up on her and she ends up with a mouthful. Nereida spends her time picking at some bunches of rosemary and Twix cuts her hair. But Blue doesn't notice any of that too much. When the water stills and they pause to catch their breath, Ari climbs onto a rock and shakes out his wet curls. She is quick to find a perch beside him. Absentmindedly, she pinches the bottom of her wet shirt to keep it from sticking to her chest.

"It's nice to have some place to swim so close by. Back at our old camp, there was lake but it was a few miles away, so my mom rarely let me go."

"I'm sorry, you know. About your mom. Mine is dead, too."

He half-smiles. "Thanks. I don't think about it too much anymore. My uncle and I have always been close so it helped to have him there." He nudges her shoulder. "You're damn lucky to have such a cool dad, huh?"

"Ghost?"

"Yeah, that guy is a beast. My uncle says they called him Ghost because no one could ever see him coming before suddenly, they were dead." 

"Oh, yeah, he is super cool," she quickly agrees. "He has taught me a lot."

"Shit, really?"

Nibbling the inside of her cheek, she nods. "I know... I know how to throw knives pretty well."

"I gotta see that." His eyes flash behind her. "So what's up with his girlfriend?"

"Huh?" A divot forms between her brows before she follows his gaze, landing on Twix, whose hair is now just past her shoulders. She is wetting it, running her fingers through the newly cut strands. "Oh—Twix. That is not his girlfriend. She is my friend."

"You mean they don't sleep together?"

"Like in the same bed?"

"That's usually where people fuck, yeah."

He seems ready to laugh. She frowns, head tilting as confusion hums in her chest. "You mean like sex?"

He nods. "You know what that is, right?"

She quickly recovers. "Yeah, of course. Ghost told me all about it."

"You know they're probably doing it, right?"

"Ghost and Twix? No—no," she forces a laugh. "I mean, sometimes I catch him staring at her all weird. But I don't think—I mean, they hardly like each other and she is my friend, really, not his. He used to make me stay away from her, even. But I mean, they do spend a lot of time together now. It's usually to practice fighting and defense. Not to have...sex."

"Don't they share a room?"

"Just right now, because you guys are here."

Ari chuckles. "You really think they aren't doing it in there? She's really pretty. There's no way they aren't."

Blue looks back at Twix. She is pretty. And she has actual boobs. Blue's fingers curl into the soaked fabric of her top.

Her eyes flick back to him. "She would've told me if they were."

[oncasette]

FANGTASIA. send in a character from my guide + one of the prompts below for a drabble!

how about... "you shouldn't have touched them. every single mark on their body is going to be returned to yours." wiiith our mans eric northman!

please, thank you, love youuu!!! 🩵🩵

𝗛𝗘𝗟𝗟 𝗖𝗢𝗨𝗟𝗗𝗡'𝗧 𝗛𝗢𝗟𝗗 𝗠𝗘 𝗕𝗔𝗖𝗞

eric northman x fem!reader

summary: 1.3k

You’d had vampire blood. Pam and Chow had been gracious enough to offer you their wrists months after you’d started working at Fangtasia, a safety precaution as they’d claimed. You'd had Eric's blood. He could feel your fear, he knew where you were, why wasn't he coming?

or the one where eric saves you from an anti-vampire rights enthusiast.

warnings: canon-typical violence, blood, death, kidnapping, stabbing

a/n: i know i said drabbles but i couldn't contain myself. i am violently ill with my love for this man.

masterlist | taglist

You think you're dying. surely. There's no way the human body would be able to endure this much pain without ultimately giving up the ghost, right? 

You never should have gotten involved with vampires. They were nothing but a bucket of trouble, as your mother would have put it. And has she had put it, a multitude of times, before she'd ever even known you'd applied to work at Shreveport's resident vampire bar. 

What she didn't know, though, was how incredible they could be. How, even without all their supernatural abilities, intensely good they could be when they decided they wanted. How loyal and caring and kind when they chose to do so. Just how beautiful they could be, fangs and all. 

‘Course, there still was that whole bucket of trouble thing. 

"You sure are pretty for a fangbanger," your captor drawled from where he was watching you from across the room. He'd tied you to a chair at the center of it, thick scratchy ropes binding your wrists to the unlaquered wood beneath you. You spit, knowing that it won't reach the man from this distance, but hoping, almost willing it to hit him squarely between the eyes. 

“Fuck you,” you say.

“Ooh,” he whistles. “You’ve sure got a mouth on you, sweet cheeks. Why waste it on one of those dead fuckers when you could have someone with an actual, bleeding fucking heart?”

“You’re a waste of skin, you piece of shit,” you huff. Not that it was any of his goddamn business, anyway, but you had only ever slept with one man, and it sure as shit hadn’t been one of your bosses.

“Aw, c’mon. I bet you get so cold after one of them vampers is inside you, don’t you. All icy and chilly like. Let me give you a little tip, sweetheart. Humans. Need. Warmth.”

“You say that as if you aren’t a fucking sad sack,” you say. “What a sorry excuse for a human, huh?”

“What’d they do to you, huh, girl? Did they glamor you into only wanting a dead man’s dick?” he asks, slowly shifting and standing from his stool so that he could approach you. Despite their constant–and half-hearted–threats, you’d never been glamored by your vampire coworkers. Your breathing shakes as he approaches in swift steps. It’s then that you see the knife in his hand. 

For the first time in a long time, you realize, genuine fear strikes through you. 

“I’m gonna teach those vampers a lesson,” he says. “And you’re going to help me do that.”

You’d had vampire blood. Pam and Chow had been gracious enough to offer you their wrists months after you’d started working at Fangtasia, a safety precaution as they’d claimed. You'd had Eric's blood. He could feel your fear, he knew where you were, why wasn't he coming?

The knife trails along your collarbone. You're glad it was as dull as it was, knowing if it'd been sharper it would be slicing the skin open in its path down. Then he presses down harder. You can’t muffle the whine as it escapes you, no matter how much you want to. No matter how desperately you wish to not show the man that he holds any power over you. You can feel the blood seeping out of the wound. It dribbles down your chest in a thick stream as it pools and stains the gray cotton of your t-shirt.

“Stop!” you plead. He chuckles before driving the blade deeper into you. With feeble force, you try to get him off with a stunted kick to his knee; It was all you could manage with the way your knees had been duct-taped together. 

“Bitch!” he heaves before rearing back to slap you with the bladeless hand. It slashes your cheek, shallowly, thankfully, but you can feel the ache of where his hand had connected with your cheekbone. “You’re gonna regret that.”

He takes the knife and stabs it into your side, just narrowly missing your ribcage. 

Before you can manage out even a wince, the door to the small shack you’d been held in for the last few hours splinters and it unceremoniously removed from its hinges. 

Eric says nothing as he rushes in. You barely register that it’s him save for the split second image you’d captured from where he’d lingered in the doorway. Your captor is off of you instantly, though you’re still bound to the chair. Eric stills. Wind warps around him as he does so, wrapping him in a flurry of movement as he stands with the man locked in his grasp. 

“You never should have fucking touched her,” Eric growls with his fangs fully extended, grip tightening around the burly man’s neck and raising him inches off the ground. There’s not even a hint of the usual smirk you were so accustomed to seeing. “Every single mark on her body will be returned unto you tenfold.”

“She fucking deserved it,” he gargles as the vampire latches onto the expanse of neck not currently held within his hand. The man screams out in anguish and you pull your eyes tight to avoid watching any more. Of course, that doesn’t stop you from hearing. The screams and the rips and the crunches. You hear something hard and solid hit the floor and somewhere deep in the pit of your stomach you know it’s bone. 

You hear the man gasp out a dead fuck only for Eric’s grasp to tighten fully, effectively severing the man’s skull from his spinal chord without detaching it from his body. The man drops to the floor with a loud thump and Eric shoves the corpse away with the toe of his shoe before he moves toward you. 

“What took you so long?” you exhaled as he moved behind you to unbind your wrists. 

“I was away on business,” he gruffs, spitting slightly to get the last of the man’s blood out of his mouth. He’d already drunk his fair share, you thought, what good what that do?

Swallowing, you ask, “And you still came?”

He walks back around to begin undoing the restraints on your legs. He’s being so gentle, you realize. If he’d wanted, he could have had this done within seconds and yet, here he was, tenderly undoing the tape and rope and rubbing a soothing hand over the abraded skin. 

“I’ll always come for you,” he says. “Until I meet the true death, I will always come for you.”

He extends his wrist up to his mouth and you wince as he punctures the flesh. 

“Eric,” you sigh. 

“Drink,” he says. 

Nodding, you allow him to bring his wrist to your mouth and latch down on the leaking wound. It’s tangy and metallic and overall pretty gross, but you’re more than grateful for it at that moment. You lick your lips when he pulls his arm back down, the small bite marks already well on their way to closing completely. 

“Will you take me home?” you ask, suddenly overwhelmed with the wave of fatigue hitting you. 

He rises back to his full height and extends a hand out towards you. The second you grab it, he’s pulling you up from your chair to hold you flush against his form. Then, in another rush of wind, you’re standing on your front porch. 

Slowly, you pull away from the vampire to take a step towards your door. Your body aches, but it’s already mostly healed as you run a hand over the small incision at your waist. 

“Thank you,” you say. “Eric.”

He’s silent, looking you over in a way that you can’t help but think is more than just an assessment of your injuries. He settles on your eyes when he says, “Anytime.”

[intuitively-her]

There could be some turbulence going on with your family or your partner maybe? You might be in hermit mode right now because of this. Please know that these hard times will not last forever. You are getting into alignment with what's meant for you. This is a good time to manifest! You need to get serious and hone in on your goals. You are getting ready to walk into a brand new energy. Take heed on the opportunities being presented to you at this time.

Set your intentions! Use this time to dream without thinking about the limitations of life. Now is the time to start fresh! Don't let your past define you. Every day is a new opportunity to grow and learn. You need to use your voice to share your gifts with the world. Your skills are something special. Get grounded so that you can be more in touch with your intuition. Walk by faith, not by sight. Trust that your situation will get better.

You could be going through a tough time right now. Don't let yourself become closed off because of this though. It would actually benefit you to mingle with others right now. Once you start going out more and trying new things, it will help you release that stuck energy. For someone here, it's time to reconsider moving to a different city. This will allow so many opportunities to roll in for you. Like pile 1, you possess many different skills that need to be shown off. Stop sleeping on yourself!

It's time to wake up! Face your shadows, feel your emotions, and let them go once and for all. Don't feel embarrassed or ashamed to show vulnerability. You are human, just like everyone else. So, stop being so hard on yourself. If you can, talk to an elder or a parent about your current situation. Listen to their wisdom. And please, remember that life is not about the destination, it's about the journey. Take things day by day.🩷

You are stepping into a new and confident energy! Lately, you've been staying in your lane and focusing on your goals/what you need to heal. You've been glowing lately!😍 Keep up the good work. You could be gaining some sort of popularity soon. You need to know that your hard work is not going to waste. I pulled the 10 of pentacles and the 10 of cups for you. You are coming into alignment with your manifestations. Someone here needs to beware of an impure offer coming from a masculine at work. You could already have an idea of who this is. This person will want to "make a deal" with you. This is giving me pyramid scheme vibes ngl. Someone that you rejected or vice versa really wants another chance with you. They feel like y'all got off on the wrong foot. Your judgement was clouded in this situation, and you allowed your fears to get in the way of this connection. They're being genuine though; you can trust them.

You need to incorporate more spells or potions into your manifestation routine. This will allow situations to go in your favor much easier. Use your resources to help create the life that you desire. Your spirit team also wants you to stop worrying! Whether it's about a bill, your health, etc. You are protected! 444,888

It is time to let go of this person/situation that you're stuck on. It's blocking new things from coming in for you. You could feel like your life is at a standstill right now, especially at work. You need to believe in yourself! Hold yourself to a higher standard. Stop entertaining people, situations, and habits that are beneath you. It's time to lock in with yourself and put your skills to use. Once you do, life will start to flow in your favor.

You are being guided to tap into the hidden realms of your subconscious mind. Get in touch with your spiritual side. Allow your intuition to guide you. Do more things that help you feel grounded. Your guides are waiting to be made use of. Call on them when you need help, talk to them when you need clarity; they will be there for literally anything. Continue to explore your craft and exercise your gifts. And please remember that life is not a race, you're doing just fine.😉

*ONLY TAKE WHAT RESONATES*

🩷Please DO NOT copy, repost, or steal my work. Thanks!🩷