#can i just....maybe not lie around and feel like shit? Especially since nothing's actually wrong rn????
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si-cucumber · 1 year ago
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his-angell · 19 days ago
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"You deserve better than that." (s.cb)
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plot; Innocence and inexperience is something a man can easily take advantage of. When (y/n) starts dating a man older than her, Her brothers get protective. They see how awful he is to her, and they know they need to get her away from him. paring; fem!9th!member!reader x bestfriend!Seo Changbin genre; angst, comfort, tad fluffy if you squint word count; 2.3k warnings; reader gets her inexperience taken advantage of, shes dating a mean older guy, arguments (but nothing too serious), cursing, protective Stray Kids, 3rd pov request?; yes! request found here!
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When (y/n) started dating an older man, she saw no issues in it. He was kind, caring. He bought her gifts and took care of her. Min-Jun was a good guy. In her eyes at least. Her overprotective older brothers saw straight through his lies. He was using (y/n). He only needed a pretty arm piece. He didn't actually care about her. He was just bored and needed something to do.
Recently, he had been acting a little weird.. So have her members. She saw it. She didn't like any of it. She sat in the living room, Hyunjin, Felix and Chan scattered around. Minho was cooking lunch in the kitchen, The others were in their rooms or at the dining table. (y/n) was kinda zoned out as she listened to her members laugh and talk.
But she spoke up, needing to get rid of the gnawing feeling that something was wrong. "Guys, did something happen?" She spoke up. Felix was the first to look over, confused. "What do you mean?" He hummed, sitting up more to face her better. "You guys are acting really weird recently. Especially when Min-Juns here." She took a deep breath.
Chan immediately rolled his eyes and threw his head back. He ran a hand over his face. God, he hated that guy. The dude was such a faker. He didn't understand how (y/n) didn't see it. He was tired of trying to hide his hatred for the guy. Especially since he was hurting (y/n). He couldn't let himself lie to her anymore. "(y/n).." He mumbled. Hyunjin and Felix shared a glance. They knew how much Chan despised their maknaes boyfriend. They looked down, opting to stay quiet and let Chan talk.
"He's not good for you, (y/n)." Chan finally said it. (y/n)'s blood went cold. "What?" She laughed in disbelief. What was he talking about? "I said he's not good for you! He's using you, (y/n). Why can't you see that?" Chan sat up. (y/n)'s eye twitched. She blinked at the older man before she stood up. "Don't walk away from me, (y/n).." Chan sighed. "No! I'm not gonna sit here and listen to you shit talk my boyfriend just because you don't like him!" She turned to him.
"I don't like him because he's using you! Are you not listening?" Chan backed himself up. "Bullshit." (y/n) grumbled. She turned to walk to her room, but the members were all there now. Poking into the room curiously. She made a face. "What? You guys gonna tell me he's bad too?" She snapped. "Yeah, actually-" Changbin pipped up. But before he could actually speak, the woman groaned and stormed off, slamming her bedroom door.
(y/n) laid down on her bed and huffed. She covered her face with her hands. She was starting to have doubts now.. They were just trying to get her to break up with him because they didn't like him! Min-Jun was a good guy! He took care of her! He bought her stuff! He was a good boyfriend! Well.. Was he?..
Sitting up on her bed, she wondered if maybe- Just maybe they were onto something. Maybe he wasn't as great as she thought?.. She was quick to pull out her phone. She went to her text messages with him. He did seem more dry than usual.. But he was busy! That's what he said! He said he was busy with work stuff!
(y/n) groaned in frustration. She texted him.. "Hi, my love! Do you wanna come over tonight for dinner?" She stared at the message. And stared.. And stared. It wasn't till five minutes later, when she was about ready to say never mind when he responded. "Cant. Going to the bar with some coworkers. Tomorrow night?" Oh. Again? That's fine! It's fine! They've been working on a big project, they deserve a night out. "Alright! See you tomorrow! <3!" She expected a smile emoji. Maybe a 'Can't wait to see you~' But no.. She got nothing. Read at 4:25pm.
She was a little hurt. But she didn't think anything of it. He said he was busy. So, she would brush it off like she did every other time. The poor girl was so innocent and inexperienced. She texted the group chat that Min-Jun would be there for dinner tomorrow before she decided to just go to bed. Going to bed at 4:30? Yes, because she wasn't in the mood to stay up anymore. She didn't wanna deal with Chan anymore. Or any of them for that matter.
That next day wasn't much better. The members were grumpy. For good reason though. (y/n) hadn't necessarily talked to them about Min-Jun coming over, she just assumed they'd be fine with it. But they got over it. Correction- some of them got over it. Chan, Changbin and Minho were still reasonably upset. Minho again was in the kitchen cooking, (y/n) was in there helping.
She was waiting for Min-Jun to show up. She really needed to see him. She needed to know that all the things Chan said weren't true. She needed to be held and told that he really did love her. She rushed to the door when there was a knock. She smiled as she opened it. "Hi," She smiled. "Hey." Min-Jun said flatly, flashing a smile before walking past her and slipping off his shoes. "Smells good." He said. (y/n) blinked. She pursed her lips, a little upset she didn't get a kiss.
"Ah, yeah! Me and Minho were-" She didn't even get to finish before Min-Jun shot her a bored look. She nodded softly. She had learned to shut up when he told her too. She didn't wanna make him upset. Changbin saw this. He squinted. He took a deep breath. "Min-Jun. Been a while." He hummed. "Yeah. Works been a hassle." Min-Jun answered shortly as he sat himself down at the table.
Hell, the guy didn't even try to act like he cared anymore. He knew he had (y/n) wrapped around his finger tight enough, that any change in his behavior would be brushed off. Or she just kept quiet about it, not wanting to make him angry or annoyed. The air was so thick you wouldn't even be able to get the knife in it to even cut it..
It was all small talk before dinner was set out. Everyone ate quietly. Chan and Changbin shared a look.. They members had definitely talked about something without (y/n) present. (y/n) cleared her throat. "When is your guys' next schedule? You've seemed to be slacking recently," Min-Jun spoke up, leaning back in his chair. "We aren't slacking." Seungmin huffed, almost offended by his wording. "Min, that's not what he meant." (y/n) defended. "Mm.. Debatable." Min-Jun took a bite of his food.
(y/n) blinked at the comment. "Yikes." She mumbled. Changbin finally set his utensils down. "I think you should go, Min-Jun." He said seriously. Min-Jun blinked. "Sorry?" He laughed. "I didn't do anything!" He scoffed. "Don't act stupid, I said you should go." Changbin repeated. He never acted like this. He usually had at least a little bit of patience. What the Hell was his problem? Min-Jun. Min-Jun was his problem. "Changbin, stop-" (y/n) grumbled.
"No! (y/n), i'm done with this guy!" Changbin was furious. "He's using you! We all see it!" Changbin finally said. He didn't even care about the stupid comment about them slacking. He was pissed about the fact that Min-Jun sat here and did this to their girl, thinking they wouldn't see it! Did he think they were stupid?! Min-Jun rolled his eyes. "Everyone sees it but you, (y/n)!" Changbin added. (y/n) stared. She took a deep breath. She slowly turned to look at Min-Jun who just leaned back in his chair. He rolled his eyes and sucked his teeth. "I'm not doing this." He scoffed and stood up. (y/n) was quick to follow him to the door.
This was definitely not how this was supposed to go. Not at all in fact. But then again, she couldn't just let him leave. Not now. She needed to figure out what the hell was going on? If maybe her members warnings were right. "Don't you dare open the door." She growled. "Are.. Are they right?" She asked.
Min-Jun sighed and shook his head. "I said I'm not doing this, (y/n)." He growled. "Bullshit! Are you using me or not!?" (y/n)'s voice cracked as she slapped his chest. She was frustrated. "What the hell?" Min-Jun glared down at the shorter woman. Her members stayed in the dining room.. Chan and Changbin were standing, ready to run out there and beat his ass if he laid even a finger on her.
"You've been acting really weird recently, and I'm sick of it." (y/n) said in a lower tone. "What's wrong? Please i-" She reached for his hand, but Min-Jun pulled away. "We're done, (y/n)." He spat. It felt like her whole world crumbled. "Wha-What?" She choked. "I said we're done." Min-Jun scoffed. "I never loved you. I honestly just wanted an arm piece to show off to my parents." He admitted. That was only half of it.. You could only imagine what he had been doing behind her back.
Everyone heard it. The boys' faces varied from sympathetic looks to ones of pure hatred and anger. "But.. But you- The gifts.. And the cards?" (y/n) tried to understand. "Yeah, to make you stay longer. I couldn't have you catching on too soon." Min-Jun shrugged. He patted her head. "Thanks for the time with you, doll," He pinched her chin lightly. It was more of a mocking thank you than anything else. It wasn't till the door clicked shut that (y/n) choked on a sob.
Chan went to rush to her side, but Changbin was quicker. "Hey, hey, jagi," He pulled her into his chest. His voice and expression was so much softer than it had been moments ago. (y/n) sobbed and gripped onto her best friend. She felt like she had just been ripped apart. She felt so fucking stupid! She felt humiliated! Changbin hushed her and rubbed her back.
He scooped her up and walked to her room. He gently sat on her bed, cradling her to his chest. "(y/n) breathe." He said. (y/n) whined at him, coughing from how hard she was crying. "(y/n), you're going to give yourself a panic attack, breathe." Changbin sat her up and faced her to look at him. "Yo-You guys were right i-" She sobbed. "I'm so stupid-!" She hiccupped. Changbin shook his head. "No. No you're not stupid, (y/n). You didn't know." He gently wiped her tears with his thumbs.
(y/n) shook her head. "But you guys told me! You tried so-so many times to warn me, and I ignored you!" She whined. "But that's okay! It takes a mistake to learn something, alright?" Changbin hummed. "We're not mad at you. We just want you safe and happy." He said. "Plus, he was a little weird anyways.." He made a face. That did get a little giggle out of (y/n). She sniffled and wiped her face. "Yeah.. He was a little more than weird." She huffed.
"Listen, name one good gift this guy got you!" Changbin leaned back, already in the shit talking position. "You told him your favorite flowers were tulips and lilys, this guy got you one single sunflower," He rolled his eyes. "That one time he got me a card and it was a mothers day card. He hadn't even written anything in it." (y/n) sniffled as she messed with her hands. "He wasn't good for you, jagi." Changbin tilted his head at her slightly.
"You deserve so much better than that." He said softly. "Next time you decide to date someone, me and Channie Hyung are doing a full background check on that guy." He grinned. (y/n) laughed softly and shook her head. "I think I'm done with men for a good while." She hummed. Changbin squinted. "Besides you guys, duh." She rolled her eyes.
Changbin hummed and gently pulled her back into his arms and laid down. He pet her hair. "I'll make sure nobody ever hurts you like that again, (y/n)." He whispered into her hair. "Thank you, Bin.. For looking out for me." She hushed. "I'll always look out for you, my jagi." He kissed her head. (y/n) was so emotionally exhausted.. She closed her eyes and cuddled into Changbins side.
She relished in the comfort of his arms and the sound of his heartbeat. She opened her mouth to thank him once more but a soft snore made her pause. She sat up slightly, looking at his sleeping face. Did he just...? She guessed he was tired too. He had been up a while, since he had his morning workout. He guessed being angry didn't help at all either. She hummed before she cuddled back into him. She didn't take much longer to follow him to sleep.
The next day, she would apologize to the others.. She would apologize for bringing him over without really asking. Or backing up his snarky, mean comments towards them. She felt awful for how blind she had been. But none of them were mad at her. Chan agreed with Changbin, that to learn from a mistake, you have to make one.
Felix and Hyunjin had even bought her some of her favorite snacks and such to comfort her. Hyunjin even bought her a bouquet of her favorite flowers.. Tulips and Lilys.. Not a sunflower. God, she loved them so much. She was glad to have her older brothers there to comfort and protect her. She didn't need a stupid boyfriend as long as she had her best friends.. 
...
horrayyy!! i finally got to this request! i'm so so sorry it took so long again. I did accidently slide a little out of the plot, but i hope you still like it! muah muah!! have a good day/nightt! stay safee!
all writing rights are reserved to @his-angell do not repost or translate my work without my permission. reblogs are appreciated.
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gunsli-01 · 2 years ago
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Kazui Mukuhara as he put on that wedding ring and let people draw their own conclusions, "I'm too good of a liar you'll find me out one day."
The funniest outcome is that he's completely single and trying to get with this girl by playing the emotional scarcity/forbidden fruit card. Like women are just drawn to things they can't have or already belong to someone else. Are you any more interested in me now that you know someone else wants me? What do you mean you're getting married got damn it-
Even funnier that Yuno said the person the most like her is him. So, what if it turns out he's just a male escort? That fell in love with one of his clients. It would fit his fashion sense as well, given he goes from suits to casual playing around fashion pretty easily. As though he's used to going to extravagent and causal parties. He could even just wear a ring to keep up the illussion while on the job with special clientele.
Though to me this dude definitely does not give off the impression that he was ever married. Come on he's looking at her like
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And she's just reading
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This is a tuesday for her. I can hear Just Be Friends playing beneath his song and i'm pretty sure it's because she's listening to it to drop him hints. Got Yuno's airpods in like maybe if I play this loud enough he'll realize. His first cover is Cowardly Montblanc and people think he cheated? Honestly it'd be interesting either way but ya know to cheat the person would've had to be in a relationship first right?
I don't feel like he's sufficiently proven that he was in a relationship. Especially since his whole song seems to lament not being with someone. Just saying don't let men with rings fool you some wear that shit for fun. I have had men lie to me about having multiple girls interested in them lamenting for hours in phone calls about how too many women want them.
Hell, once one of my male friends brought their whole as girlfriend to my house at three in the morning to go see she's real are you jealous what do you think basically. Then, when i responded like it's great to met you want to come in left immediately. Like please...playboys are always going to play. I like Kazui a lot, literally have a positive bias for him because he's just hopeless and so old and he reminds me of my goof off of a dad. However, my dad was also a player and a cheat to his own admission. He still is kinda but he's old.
Kazui does not give me a cheater vibe but I could be wrong. He jsut seems too concerned with having a real relationship. Even going as far as to cry about how someone else's feelings won't change. When to be honest going elsewhere is easier at that point especially if you already have other options. So, it's not just that he doesn't seem like he was married in the slightest to me but it just feels off. Like that up there is the face of pining man. That dude is smitten.
Saddly it's starting to seem as though the only thing being pulled by Kazui may be his own back and that's only due to his age! Ashe did a good english cover of Cowardly Montblanc years ago that really highlights the point I'm trying to make.
I just think it'd be super funny if Kazui was labeled a cheater but in actuality he told an old friend/crush that he met again who is already married or within a committed relationship, "Ha, ha, I'm married too we can just be friends it's fine. Totally okay. I'm so happy for you." As he looked up weddingbands to create the illusion of being married. Dude is like, "I could try you, and also try to touch you but you probably won’t notice I understand that this love is out of bounds, so nothing has to change."
He understands it's out of bounds but never really says for who it's outbounds for. He also makes it incredibly clear in his song lyrics the person he's referring to is uninterested basically begging for their feelings to change. I don't know it feels weird to think that points to him already being in a relationship. Unless what he actually means is if only your heart would change and your were willing to have an open relationship.
Like man if only you were polyamorous...Whelp time to go cheat.
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hey-kae · 2 years ago
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request pls?
maybe a reader w old scars afraid of being intimate w a driver?
so since you didn’t specify what driver you want this to be about, i made a small drabble for each. Hope that’s okay💕
Please beware since this might be a sensitive subject to some🫶🏻
Charles:
It was your third date and it was after not seeing each other for two weeks so he was missing you.
The two of you return to his apartment instead of each to their own place.
You had yet to sleep with each other, or even in the same bedroom so you were a bit nervous.
At first, you sit in the living room talking, his arm draped over your shoulders and your head rested on him.
“You know, i missed you a lot when you were away.” You say and he instantly kisses you after having widely smiled.
The kiss escalates quickly and soon enough, he guides you to his room.
The two of you would be heavily making out in the bed when the nerves start to build, especially when he starts to take off your clothes.
“Um… Can you turn off the lights?”
He frowns and stops, wanting you to feel completely comfortable with him before the two of you got intimate.
He makes sure you knew that and you end up telling him about the scars and how they affected your confidence.
“You’re perfect to me, baby. You are so hot too and you turn me on beyond words.” He lets you feel his boner just to prove to you how much he wants you.
“The scars are a part of you so i’ll love them too.”
He would do absolutely everything to make you confident while naked with him.
He wouldn’t actually sleep with you until he made sure he wasn’t pressuring you to and until you were comfortable enough with him to show him your body and be completely sure he loved every part of it.
Lando:
It would be your first time having sex after many attempts to that were always dismissed by you.
He would be kissing you heavily, his hands reach under your shirt when you stop him.
“Shit, the food’s still in the oven.” You say.
“No, i took it out.”
You allow him to carry on for a few seconds before interrupting again.
“I think my phone’s ringing.”
“I don’t hear it.”
You reply that you wanna go check and that would lights warnings flashes in Lando’s head.
“Hey, am i making you uncomfortable in any way, love?” He asks with concern.
“No, i just wanna-“
“Don’t lie to me. Please.”
That’s how you end up telling him everything.
He would slip his shirt back on and pull you to his chest and cuddle you before he asks if you wanna tell him the story behind the scars.
So you do. You even tell him how your ex made you feel like they were a major flaw.
“You don’t have to worry about that with me, love.”
He would spend the night reassuring you and telling you that he never sees any part of you as a flaw and no scars could ever change that.
Pierre:
The two of you would be too carried away, the way he was making out with you far too distracting for you to think about anything else.
But then, clothes start getting thrown onto the floor and you start panicking.
Pierre immediately notices and ask if anything’s wrong.
It shakes you out of your trance and startles you.
But you are so comfortable around Pierre that the words just slip out of your mouth.
He listens very carefully while holding your hand and rubbing his thumb on the back of your palm.
After that, he comforts you and asks you what he should do for you to feel comfortable around him.
“I just want to act like they’re not there for once.” You say while tightly holding him.
“Consider it done, chérie.”
He goes back to kissing you, his hands already working on getting your clothes off.
But he suddenly stops.
“Before we do that, i need you to know that nothing in this world will ever change how perfect you are to me and how much you mean to me.” He says and gives you a smile.
Max:
He would have you pinned under him on the bed, your clothes already off, allowing him to kiss down your body.
Your hands would be in his hair as his teasing frustrated you.
But his trajectory would take a turn and he would end up littering kisses all over every exposed part of your skin.
That would immediately cause you to panic and try to push him off.
“Stop, please.”
And he immediately does.
“Did i do something wrong?” He asks with concern.
You shake your head and sit up, your hands instinctively hiding the scars
Max notices that quickly and takes your hands in his, his eyes scanning your face at all times to make sure he doesn’t cross any lines.
“You never have to be insecure about that with me, love.”
He would kiss your lips just to make sure you got the memo.
“Did i ever make you feel uncomfortable with your body before?”
You shake your head no.
“Okay but you have to tell me if i ever do.”
He starts kissing your skin again, his eyes locking with yours as his lips meet the scars, kissing them without making a big deal out of it.
He didn’t see them as a big deal so he doesn’t treat them as such but he still makes sure to give that area of your body as much attention and love as any other.
“I love all of you.” He would keep reminding you.
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thunderheadfred · 3 years ago
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🦅Hawks HC’s🦅
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This is SO unnecessarily long. Some NSFW. Minors do not interact.
- - - - -
General
Has zero social life or hobbies outside of work. He knows it’s unhealthy, but like, who has the time?? Oh? Lots of people do?? Haha what are healthy work/home boundaries? He desperately wants to retire and always talks about a world without heroes, but the truth is he would have no idea what to do with himself if he got his way. Take him to a park at midnight and watch him turn into a giant repressed child on a swing. He’ll do a standing-360 and it will be terrifying.
Listens to music way too loud in his headphones to drown out wind noise. Probably half deaf at this point. His musical taste is wild; listening history all over the fucking place. Algorithms have no idea what to do with him.
That visor? It’s prescription. Wow is he far-sighted. He wears glasses. He’s not blind without them (rather the opposite) but they help him see things directly in front of him without massive eye strain. Yeah, he looks really hot in glasses.
Prefers communicating via text. Sometimes it’s a lot of dumb memes, but mostly it’s sincere. He can say what he means when he doesn’t have to put on a public front.
Smokes like a chimney. Self medicates with stimulants. Coffee, tobacco, sugar. Fidgety, likes things in his mouth or hands. Gnashes on toothpicks and popsicle sticks. He really should go back to therapy, huh? His teeth are sparkling white for the cameras but his breath could use some work. Chews gum a lot to compensate, and always does it really loudly with a big shit-eating grin.
Impatient as fuuuuuck. Rude about it. If you take too long doing anything, you’re going to hear a foot tapping. He’ll smile and laugh it off, never ever directly criticize you about it. But lord, the dramatic sighs. He WILL nudge you out of the way and take over in order to finish a task faster, and it’s truly fucking annoying.
LOVES food. Has the metabolism of an actual bird. Will seize upon any excuse to eat. No need to be self-conscious about eating in front of him; he wants you to enjoy it. Steals bites from you and talks with his mouth full. Prefers street food and take-out, usually eats while walking or flying. Sit-down restaurants are an invitation for gawkers.
He’s one of those celebrities that looks way taller on TV. In real life, he’s small and compact. So you’re surprised the first time you see him in person. He has a big head. Literally.
If you’re taller or bigger than him, he does Not Care. He treats everyone like they’re four feet tall, even Endeavor. Everything you do is cute. If you’re actually short, he’s going to carry you around all the time, and there’s nothing you can do about it.
Collects big chunky overpriced watches. All the better to tell you you’re late.
Half his clothes are brand fucking new. Sometimes he forgets to take off the tags. (Don’t look at the prices, do NOT) He never seems to wear the same thing twice. He also never seems to go shopping. Brands just give him stuff, and he shrugs and goes “yeah okay.”
The other half of his clothes are old, faded, and patched up. Every item he acquires for himself has deep sentimental value. If you tell him to throw away that nasty ten-year-old pair of frayed cargo pants, be prepared to find out how wrong and evil you are for even suggesting it.
He doesn’t snore; he coos. Loudly. Like a fucking pigeon trapped in a megaphone.
- - - - -
Dating
Gift-giving is his love language. Bringing your favorite snacks. Leaving novelty magnets on your fridge. He found a copy of that book/game/movie you mentioned like a month ago, don’t you remember? If he has to go out of town on a job, he’ll bring back the ugliest possible souvenir, just to annoy you.
He likes gifting jewelry especially. Covering you in shiny baubles, little golden things. Not expensive, but unusual. Antiques or handmade, even bizarre vending machine crap. Gets really handsy if you wear or show off his gifts.
Since you’re the first person who has given him The Feels, if you are resistant to his advances (like, say, because he’s way too famous and you’re terrified he’s gonna break your heart) he’s going to go fucking nuts trying to woo you. Doesn’t have a single patient bone in his body but will wait as long as it takes for you to come around. He’ll act like he’s cool with just being friends at first, just hanging out, haha. Oh you’re busy today? That’s cool. Inside he’s shrieking like a tea kettle. Go ahead, make him wait.
Don’t bother giving him a key to your place. He’s coming in through the bedroom window or patio door. Just put out a damn welcome mat on your balcony... or a bird feeder.
A bit of a voyeur. He likes to watch you do your normal routine without interruption. He can see from miles away so if you’ve got your lights on at night, he’ll creep for a while before he comes in. It comforts him immensely, seeing a little slice of the world that isn’t constantly in need of saving.
Is super talkative and funny but a terrible communicator. Makes more jokes the worse he feels. Will almost never tell you what he needs. Most of the time, he doesn’t even know. You will learn to read between the lines and gradually notice his tiny unconscious cries for help. Back rubs make him emotional.
He shows up at your place at the weirdest times. All hours. You’re never ready. At first it was infuriating, because you wanted to look your best and have time to prepare, but you figure out pretty quickly that seeing you in your natural state is his favorite thing. He never gets to be around normal people, doing normal things. A boring, lazy afternoon is his idea of paradise.
He’ll pick through your things and ask a world of invasive questions. A medicine cabinet raider. He wants to know every fucking tiny thing about you, live vicariously through you.
He actually lives in a top floor penthouse. Because I mean, where else? Never spends any time there; mostly he seems to roost on the balcony. He has used the front door maybe once. He much prefers your place, and will only take you back to his after months of dating. It’ll take like, an entire emergency. You’ll end up in his bed by mistake.
Because when you finally come over, he’s embarrassed. Its sparse. White. Things in boxes. A new furniture smell. Like he’s not done moving in, though he’s lived there for years. He wants you to move in So Bad but doesn’t want to be pushy. If you don’t start leaving your stuff there, he’ll steal things from your apartment. Where the hell is your favorite t-shirt? Or that pillowcase you like? Dammit Keigo.
He’s a decent cook, a habit he made himself pick up because he thought it might make him feel more normal. It... didn’t. He never actually cooks until you give him an excuse. He’ll bring you breakfast in bed and watch you eat every bite with big hungry eyes.
He’s got a separate wardrobe for his hero costume and all his feathers. Yeah. His feathers. Because he can detach and control his feathers at will, when he’s alone at home he kind of just... shucks off his wings. The first time you see him do it, your eyes fall out of your head. He walks around in a tee shirt and boxers with these ugly little stumps covered in brownish, blood-red down. It actually looks kind of gnarly, like he got mauled by a bear.
He’s never dated until you. No one has ever been in his apartment until you. No one has called him Keigo until you. He has some bigass intimacy issues. Because. Y’know. The trauma. But god, he wants you in his life so bad, even if he has no idea how to make time for your relationship.
He’ll want to keep you to himself for a while. Once you go public he’s going to have an arm around your shoulders at all times. Publicly Displays his Affection way more than is socially acceptable in Japan, and gives precisely -100,000 fucks.
His fans either love you or hate you. There is no in between. He will immediately take your phone and threaten to drop it from a great height if he catches you reading shitty gossip about the two of you. Does NOT care about his public image anymore, doesn’t want YOU to care about it either. He’s gonna retire soon anyway, remember? That’s a lie.
Being a charming motherfucker is the core of his public persona, so you will get jealous. A lot. He will flirt shamelessly without realizing it. He will get photographed in compromising positions with gorgeous people.
Once you accept that he’s basically an actor 80% of the time and that Hawks and Keigo are separate identities, you’ll both feel better. When he comes home (to YOU) and falls over exhausted and stops being Hawks(tm), when he scratches his ass or burps in front of you, when he yells to you from the bathroom, when he groans childishly about his shitty day while laying face-down in your lap, you’ll know you have nothing to worry about. Keigo is all yours.
Boundaries? Never heard of ‘em. He’s either a million lightyears away or he’s glued to your hip. The whiplash is astounding.
Absolutely says “I love you” wayyyyyy to soon. It thrills you but scares you off at the same time, because there’s no way Hawks - The Hawks - can actually mean it, right? (He does)
Rings? Nah. When things get serious, he will make a necklace out of a feather for you, and if you ever take it off, you better be asleep or in the shower. Even then you’re on thin fuckin ice. If you’re not wearing it he knows. He’s never mean about making you put it back on, it just makes him nervous if he can’t feel your heartbeat.
- - - - -
SPICY CHICKEN NUGGETS
High sex drive. Horny like 25/7. Probably a symptom of having way too much pent up stress.
Often takes care of it himself when he doesn’t have the emotional resources for anyone else, even his S.O. Figures you don’t want him coming on to you as often as he would like to, but he’s too stupid to talk to you about it first. Morning masturbator.
Yes he’s fucked around a lot but he’s not exactly a playboy either. People have always thrown themselves at him, and before he met you he let them do it. Especially when out of town and staying in a hotel. Whatever happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, etc.
He’d never be unfaithful to you though; his loyalty and dedication are frankly a little unsettling. Sometimes you feel like the only thing in his life other than hero work. Teach this man to knit. Make him join a book club. Christ. Anything.
Does in fact have seasonal mating patterns and it’s super embarrassing.
An underwear-sniffing perv. He’ll definitely hump your pillow.
Gets a sick thrill out of breaking in and startling you. Coming up behind you in the dark, sneaking into your bed. It’s probably his worst habit, and even he hates that he does it. If you get better at detecting him he’ll be so proud. Land a slap on him and he’ll be a horny mess.
Dog-whistles at you. Often from rooftops, and you have no idea where he is but you know he’s leering.
He will call you a lot of really stupid pet names. He likes the way you blush when he finds a newer, stupider one. Calls you angel when he’s really far gone.
Likes to scratch you with his stubble until your skin turns raw and sensitive. If it annoys you or hurts a little? Even better. Making you squirm is his new favorite thing. Especially when going down on you. Your inner thighs are always exfoliated.
His cock is average in every respect. This is not a bad thing. He knows how to please you with every totally normal inch of that cock. He has some kind of homing beacon installed on your sensitive spots.
Goes absolutely insane for blowjobs. Any time, any place.
Likes to bend you around in all kinds of positions with an assist from his feathers to hold up an ankle here, an arm there. Get used to floating mid-coitus. It just seems to happen.
Spanky.
His number one priority is making you feel adored and at home in his bed. Ohhhhh he likes to make you smile. But if you encourage him to get pushy and dominant with you, you will have a good, good time.
He’s switchy, and will lose his shit if you initiate or take control. Again, he’s always horny for you, because he can finally let go. Breathe in his direction and he’s hard.
Doesn’t moan much, but Babe, he’s a dirty talker. He’s not smooth or deliberate about it, it’s more like he can’t fucking believe you let him do whatever he wants to you. You like that huh? Like he’s in stages of shock. He’s singing your praises to high Heaven and muttering oh shit oh shit oh shittttttt and laugh-crying as he cums. He never talks about his feelings; he fucks about them.
After. Care. King. He loves pampering and clucking over you anyway, this is simply another excuse to do it. He knows exactly how much water you drink in a day. Can’t take care of himself for shit, but you? You’ll never have a need he won’t try to fill. What’s all that hero work for if not this? Yeah, soak it up. You deserve it.
692 notes · View notes
sevlgi · 3 years ago
Text
hit and run
requested: no
group: blackpink
pairing: rosé x fem!reader
genre: a  shit ton of angst, some fluff
contents: idol!rosé, actress!y/n, closeted!rosé, costar!au, slight enemies-to-lovers, unhappy endings because i’m a bitch, a lot of attempted cinematic parallels, italicized dialogue is when they’re speaking as their characters
warnings: slight homophobia
synopsis: There’s absolutely no reason for you to get involved with a costar who you should hate by all accounts. But of course, you manage to forget that love is usually more like a hit-and-run than a cruise ship. 
a/n: while i was writing this, i  imagined this as what happened before rosie sang “gone”, so maybe you can think of it like that too? i’m honestly so terrified of this flopping lmao... 
for a little background on the film: Y/N plays Luna, a pirate captain who unknowingly sacrificed her family in order to have the power to fight the regime that Rosé’s character Helen is a part of. Helen approaches Luna, determined to help her bring justice, but Helen is unable to choose between the benefits of staying with the regime, and following what she knows is right and destroying her life as a result.
word count: 6.8k
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The last thing you want to hear on the morning of your first script reading is that the actress playing your love interest in the film has changed.
“What?” you say loudly, straightening in the backseat. Your manager frowns, and you sit obediently, but the scowl doesn’t leave your face. “What do you mean the actress changed?”
“Yeah. She had to leave the movie at the last minute,” he sighs.
Sooyoung was chosen alongside you, after lengthy interviews testing whether the two of you would be able to handle your characters’ dynamic. It took weeks for the director to decide that you were the pair that she wanted, so the news that you’ll be meeting your costar for the first time in front of paparazzi is quite the shock to your system. “Shit. Then who’s the replacement?”
Your manager presses his lips together firmly before answering, “Park Chaeyoung. She’s an idol.”
You groan and slump down again. “Great. Another idol actress? Please don’t tell me that this is her first role too. Oh god, is she straight?”
“Yes to all of the above,” Chan says tensely.
Maybe you’re being dramatic, but it’s honestly a big deal. It’s the first leading role you’ve bagged, especially in a mainstream LGBTQ+ movie, and Sooyoung was the best costar you could’ve picked. You’ve never met Park Chaeyoung before, and you already know that all your plans are going to be messed up.
Chan pulls the car into the parking lot, and you scowl when you realize that most of the paparazzi have arrived. “We’re going around the back. Y/N, promise me one thing: don’t make a scene, okay?” your manager pleads. “I’m not happy about it either, but Chaeyoung has a good reputation. You’ll just ruin yours if you blow up at her.”
“I promise,” you answer through gritted teeth. You slip through the open side door as soon as you get out of the car, ignoring Chan’s call after you to have a good time like you would’ve.
To make matters worse, you don’t even get a chance to talk to the director or Chaeyoung before you’re swarmed by a crowd of reporters, even if that ‘talk’ would’ve consisted of more yelling than anything. “Y/N, Y/N!”
“Okay, let her up!” Seulgi shouts, pushing her way through. She grips your arm to lead you towards the cast table, whispering under her breath, “I’ll explain later. But just run with it, okay?”
You have plenty of problems with idol actresses, but you’ve never been inclined to say all those problems to their faces. Until now, that is.  Now, you’re sitting shoulder-to-shoulder with a girl you know has absolutely no credentials to be playing the other role in your upcoming movie, resisting the urge to ball your script up and throw it in her face.
There’s nothing wrong with Park Chaeyoung as a person-- she’s admittedly gorgeous, probably sweet, and you’re sure she isn’t a bad actress in any sense. The only thing wrong with the situation is that she’s painfully straight and auditioning to be your love interest in what might be Korea’s first mainstream lesbian film, and that you have never spoken to her before.
Chaeyoung avoids your stare with a clenched jaw, and in normal circumstances, you would already be apologizing profusely for making her uncomfortable. In this circumstance, though, your obvious grudge against her only contributes to the dynamic her character is supposed to have with yours.
“Miss Kang, is it true that the actors were only picked today?” 
The director grimaces, and the both of you turn to look at the cameras flashing by the sides of the room. It was never the plan to allow paparazzi to sit in on the first reading that you and Chaeyoung would be doing together, especially since it’s true that Chaeyoung was only chosen hours ago, after the original actress bailed. Even though your grudge should be against the girl who left, it’s easier to glare at the one sitting next to you. “Not exactly. Y/N has been confirmed for the role of Luna for months, but we recently added Chaeyoung as Helen. But we can assure that their chemistry will be wonderful,” Seulgi reassures the audience. What a lie.
Yet another reporter calls out, “How much of the script will we be seeing today, and when will the trailer be released?”
“Since the casting was changed today, the trailer has been delayed,” Seulgi says. You can hear the panic in her voice, and clear your throat. “As for the script… we’re only doing part of one scene that will show up in the trailer today, so we’ll just let them begin. Y/N?”
As you take a sip of water to prepare yourself, you almost hope that Chaeyoung messes up her part. It would be bad press, sure, and it would only contribute to Seulgi’s stress, but it would be satisfying for her to realize that she doesn’t deserve her part. She’s just an idol, after all, and she’s taking away representation from the people who need it.
“Are you saying you’re better than me?” you begin, your voice ice-cold.
You watch Chaeyoung’s throat bob, but her voice is steady and clear when she says her line. “No! I’m not saying that I’m better than you… but by all accounts, there’s no way you should have this power.”
“Would you be less scared then?” You pause, watch as Chaeyoung’s expression changes to the panic that her character’s would. “I’m kidding, Helen. I did things to get these powers, things that I’m not proud of.”
“Why would you do that? You’re strong… you don’t need them.”
“I’ve never been-- shit.” The tips of your ears start to burn, and suddenly, your lines are swimming before your eyes. Maybe all your hoping and wishing that Chaeyoung messes up has reflected onto you instead.
She attempts to remind you, “I haven’t always--”
“I know,” you hiss, but your voice is too loud in the silent room. Chaeyoung turns bright pink, too, but you still can’t seem to say your lines out loud. Shit, shit, shit--
“I’m just trying to help,” she sighs.
You whip your head to glare at her, and she winces at the daggers you send in her direction. “Shut the hell up--”
“Okay, the script reading will end here,” Seulgi announces loudly, and you bite down hard on your tongue. You don’t dare to look at the other cast members, don’t dare to think about how they must be guilting you for cutting their PR short. “Thank you everyone, please leave with security.”
You stay in your seat, staring at your script with burning eyes until you feel a hand on your shoulder and jolt. “Hey,” Chaeyoung reminds you, “we can leave.”
“Don’t touch me” is your only answer, and you storm out of the room. Alone.
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The next time you see Chaeyoung is the next day, at a script-reading that the paparazzi knows nothing about. (You do see a friend request from a Park Chaeyoung the night before, but you ignore it.)
Seulgi attempts a smile, but it doesn’t hide the bags under her eyes. She claps and raises her voice to get the cast’s attention. “Okay, everyone. We didn’t get what we wanted yesterday, but that’s fine. Um… let’s try yesterday’s scene from Chaeyoung’s part, okay? From ‘you don’t need them’.”
Chaeyoung nods. “You’re strong… you don’t need them,” she starts, worry tinging into her voice.
“I haven’t always been strong,” you reply, your voice harsher than it should be just to stop yourself from messing up again.
“Still. Powers aren’t everything, Luna, it’s too hard to have them.”
You sigh. “Newsflash, princess. It’s harder not to.”
“But--” Chaeyoung interjects.
“Did you ever think,” you cut her off, “that I didn’t care that it’d be hard? Did you ever think that the rest of us are tired of you abusing the thing that you’re given, but we have to fight for?”
You look right to Seulgi once you finish, ignoring the part underneath that says you should look to Chaeyoung at the end of the scene. The director smiles anyway. “That was great, you two. I think you capture the tension perfectly, which is a relief.”
You fight the urge to laugh. “I know that changing our main cast so close to the actual production is really difficult,” Seulgi sighs. “And I’m really sorry to inconvenience you all. The schedule is really squished now, and we just have to work through it. Chaeyoung, Y/N, all I ask is that you try to work together, okay? I know you’ll be amazing together.”
Chaeyoung speaks, possibly for the first time besides her lines. “Of course, Ms. Bae. I’ll do my best.”
“I’m sure. We have to cut this short, again, but we’re scheduled for costume fitting right now,” Seulgi groans. “We have to at least get the outfits for the trailer to fit. Sorry, everyone. Down the hall, okay?”
Of course, you and Chaeyoung have to get fit together. The only sound in the hallway is that of her heels clicking on the wood, and you resist the urge to shout at her to stop. Luckily, you arrive in the fitting room before you can.
Your eyes widen at the dress hanging there. It’s incredible, even without the layers that would support the skirt-- you can’t even imagine how the beading and pink silk would look on Chaeyoung. Ethereal, probably. “Y/N, yours is here,” the costume director laughs, beckoning you over.
Even though your own outfit isn’t nearly as opulent, you can’t help but admire the gold detailing on the cuffs and the tailoring. “Thank god yours doesn’t take so much sewing,” the director grunts, pinning the side. “You know, the two of you are going to look fantastic in these, even if we have to spill all that blood on them to shoot the trailer.”
“Sooyoung would’ve looked better.” It’s mean, and it’s a low blow, but the director doesn’t take your bait.
She pokes her head out to where Chaeyoung’s being fitted. “Now? Okay, Y/N, go out there. We need to take a look at the two of you together.”
You can’t stop your jaw from dropping when you see Chaeyoung. She’s all candyfloss hair and gold adorning her tiny waist, and in all her glory, you can’t stop yourself from thinking that maybe she was made for the role. “You look really good,” she compliments softly.
Nodding stiffly, you turn for the seamstresses. Chaeyoung moves to fiddle with her gloves when she realizes that you have absolutely no interest in continuing the conversation.
Well, if there’s one thing you can nitpick about her, it isn’t how she looks; she looks absolutely perfect for the role of Princess Helen, maybe even more perfect than Sooyoung. 
One of the costume directors steps in. “Okay, you can get changed out, but you have to come back in a few hours,” she tells you. “We have to make a lot of changes, then fit you again.”
You step down from the podium, going towards your dressing room without a second thought until Chaeyoung calls for you. “Y/N? Do you want to have lunch later? In your trailer or something?”
“Sure,” you answer, barely glancing back. When you do, all you see is her with shiny puppy eyes, and in her giant gown, it’s eerily similar to the role she’s supposed to be playing.
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“It’s nice. You’ve decorated it?”
You nod absentmindedly, clearing the narrow couch off for yourself to sit on, since Chaeyoung has taken the only chair that could fit in the trailer. “Yeah. I mean, I’ve had it for a few months, so.”
She winces. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?” you frown. Chaeyoung apologizes too much, but at least she’s upfront about whatever she has to say.
Your costar sighs, “For usurping the role? You must’ve gotten attached to Sooyoung, and it’s got to be horrible for me to just… arrive like this.”
“You know… that’s part of it.” You can’t lie; a big part of the resentment you hold against Chaeyoung is the fact that she took a role meant for someone else, someone you were friends with. “The other thing… I don’t like idol actresses,” you tell her.
Chaeyoung’s brows furrow, and she leans forward. “Why? I mean, why don’t you?”
You pause to think about it. “Well… I mean, think about it like this. Sooyoung and my auditions went for weeks before we were chosen, as a pair. Didn’t you get this role because you were an idol? You had to audition, sure, but I bet you just flashed a few smiles and read the script and got chosen. How is that fair?”
She opens her mouth to speak, but you hold your hand up and continue, “And the other thing. You’re straight.”
Chaeyoung chokes on air at that, spluttering, “What? You hate me because I’m straight?”
“No,” you say incredulously, “Well, I don’t hate you. But you being straight, and landing the lead role in a film like this… you’re taking away representation. And that’s kind of shitty of you.”
The air inside the trailer becomes suffocating, and Chaeyoung’s fiddling with the jacket in her lap finally stops when she throws it aside and stands up. She sounds like she’s about to cry when she says quietly, “Have you ever considered that I’m not straight? It’s not… it’s not that easy to be out about it--”
“Oh, cry me a river,” you groan. “Look, I apologize for assuming, but if you want to act in lesbian roles, you can’t pretend to be straight. It’s all for your fans, isn’t it? Another part of being an idol--”
She stands up, then storms right out of the trailer without another word, the door banging closed. The only thing you can do in response is sigh and utter a quiet, “Shit”.
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Perhaps it’s just your luck that the first proper scene you have to film with Chaeyoung is your culminating kiss scene.
It shouldn’t be in the trailer at all-- according to the scene schedule, the two of you would’ve filmed your scenes together in chronological order, and the kiss would’ve been at the end, hopefully after a reconciliation between the two of you. However, for some inexplicable reason, it’s going to be the first one you do, without a single second of rehearsal.
You’re a one-take wonder, and you always have been, but you can’t help but think about how impossible it’s going to be to pull off such an intense scene with someone you just fought with. Sighing, you lean over to fiddle with your hair; it’s slightly tangled now, and there’s a fake scrape on the side of your cheek. 
At a side, Chaeyoung is similarly beat up, fake blood smeared on the left side of her face. Her long hair has been put in an updo and then taken down, and parts of her dress are ripped; to you, she looks more like Helen than herself now.
“Okay, everyone, are we ready? Positions, please!”
You arrange yourself on the ground where you should be, holding a handkerchief to your cheek like instructed as Chaeyoung stands by the camera to run to you. Exhaling sharply, your eyes meet hers for the first time in days. “Action!”
Chaeyoung sprints to you as soon as she’s cued, falling in front of you in a heap. “Luna,” she gasps, reaching a gloved hand out to the ‘injured’ half of your face.
“I’m fine,” you smile weakly. The camera hovers by Chaeyoung’s shoulder, and you soften your gaze as much as possible as your hand comes up to hers.
The other girl only moves closer, her eyes scanning yours and her dress surrounding the both of you like a sea of gauze. Her nose is almost brushing up against yours, and you mutter softly, “Be careful. I don’t want you to do anything you don’t want.”
“Well, what do you want?” Chaeyoung implores, almost inaudible. Her breath quivers, and you feel it when you reach forward to cup her jaw. “Luna, what do you want right now?”
“I’m not making a move until you tell me to,” you shake your head. 
The blonde’s hands slip off your face, and she braces herself on your thighs instead. She laughs breathily, “Coward.”
“Your coward, huh?”
Chaeyoung pauses, scraping her teeth across her bottom lip. It’s so quiet that you think you could hear a pin drop, and the torches held up by the crew flicker across her face so naturally. “If you want to be.”
There’s probably another line that comes after, but with Chaeyoung so close to you, it swims blurrily in your mind. So instead, you just lean up, pull her down, and connect your lips.
She plays along, thankfully, stumbling slightly in her character’s eagerness to get a little closer. The only thing you can hear is Chaeyoung’s slight gasp when you let your hands wander down to her waist, and it’s almost scary how absorbed you are in the scene.
“Okay, cut!” Seulgi’s shout breaks you from your trance, and you hold your hands up as if in surrounder. Chaeyoung’s cheeks are red yet again when she sits up, staring anywhere other than you.
Your director hops off her chair to run towards you, a huge grin on her face. “That was perfect,” she shouts. “Y/N, I think you forgot a line? But it worked out amazingly. The one-take wonder, right?”
You grin when she pats you on the shoulder, a little harder than necessary. Apparently, all your worries were for nothing, as you and Chaeyoung stand to monitor your own shot in the screen next to Joohyun.
You can’t even hear all the praise she showers on the two of you, and you pay no attention to all the details she points out that apparently showcase your perfect chemistry with your costar. All you feel is a slight squeeze on your hand, hidden in the mess of fabric by your side.
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You jolt awake at the sound of your phone ringing loudly by your side, finding an unknown number as the caller ID. Accepting hesitantly, you greet, “Hello?”
“Y/N? Did Chan give me the right number?”
Oh. It’s Chaeyoung. “Yeah.” You clear your throat in an attempt to sound a little less drowsy, then repeat, “Right number. Why’d you ask Chan?”
“Well, it’s kinda hard to find you when you never accepted my request,” she laughs quietly. “Um, I have to record the OST today, and I was wondering whether you’d want to come watch? Chan said you didn’t really have any scenes later today.”
“Um. Okay. I’ll ask Chan to bring me,” you answer, then hang up. Your head swims slightly, partially due to the fact that you woke up to the piercing sound of your ringtone and partially because you just don’t understand why Chaeyoung’s reaching out again. You should be the one apologizing, after the tangent you went off on, and you highly doubt that your kiss scene doubled as an apology. Of course, you’ll take it.
Your manager is more than pleased to pick you up this time, but thankfully, he doesn’t question you. If he did, he’d probably be the one you shouted at.
The studio is honestly too small for two people, probably hastily set up, but you recognize the recording equipment from a video of Chaeyoung recording one of her group’s songs. And you recognize the girl already standing in the recording booth, waving you over. “Hi,” she smiles, and for all you try, you don’t see a hint of malice.
“Hey,” you mumble, taking a seat. “Uh… I’m sorry.”
“Wow, straightforward,” she tries to joke. “What for?”
You scratch the back of your neck, sighing, “For assuming, for blowing up on you, for… I don’t know, kind of everything. I’m an asshole, even if what I said wasn’t wrong.”
Chaeyoung chuckles, fiddling with the mic. “I mean, I appreciate the apology, but I wasn’t great either. You definitely had some truth behind what you said, even if it was kind of too to the point.”
“I know. You were just trying to apologize and help us become civil, and I kind of ruined it,” you hum. The other girl adjusts the lyric stand as you continue, “But I’m hoping you understand why I had to say what I did?”
“I do,” she agrees. “You’re definitely right that it’s not good representation at all, I just wish you had heard me out.”
You nod uncomfortably, changing the way you sit on the couch just to distract yourself. “So… you’re gay? I’m just asking because I don’t think I’ve ever heard you talk about it, and I’ve seen plenty of your interviews.”
“So you watch my interviews?” Chaeyoung teases. When you scowl, she just smiles, “I can’t say specifically, but I am confused. You said last time that it’s just another part of being an idol, and you’re… you’re right. It’s taboo for idols to be gay, even though Korea’s opening up to it a bit more now. So even though I want to, I don’t think I can ever be out about it.”
“I understand. And I’m sorry,” you say quietly.
She swallows, throat bobbing. “Thank you. Hey, Y/N… would you mind singing with me?”
“What?” You stare up at her incredulously; it’s not like your singing would make the other girl faint on the spot, but you definitely don’t possess an angelic voice like hers, either.
But maybe it’s an olive branch. “Just… can you match this note?” She hums, and you attempt to create the same pitch. “Okay. Can you do the chorus part in that key, while I do it in the main one? We’ll sound better like that,” Chaeyoung offers.
Against your better judgement, you stand, and shuffle into the recording booth next to her. “If this sounds bad, you’re taking the blame,”  you warn, and she giggles while twisting the stand so you can see.
You do sound good together, maybe to a level that you would’ve never anticipated.
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You know that something’s off when Chan doesn’t wake you up bright and early on your birthday, even if Seulgi already promised that you wouldn’t have to go to work on the day of. After spending many a birthday with him, you’ve already gotten used to him tugging you up just to take you outside and celebrate somehow.
You know something’s especially off when you hear a female voice cursing from your kitchen, and smell something burning.
“Who the shit-- Chaeyoung?”
The girl turns in surprise, caught red-handed with a piece of burnt toast pinched between her fingers. “Um. Hi?” she offers weakly.
Suddenly self-conscious, you cross your arms over the faded sweatshirt you wear. In your own apartment, Chaeyoung is leagues more put-together in the summery dress she wears, her dyed hair tossed in a braid and glitter shining at the corners of her eyes. “Hello?”
“Chan said you wouldn’t be awake for a few hours,” she sighs, shaking her head as she tosses the toast in the trash. “And I wasn’t supposed to burn the toast.”
“What were you supposed to do?” you question, stepping closer. There’s a cake box on the counter, as well as a couple suspicious tubes of icing right by it, and you think you know what’s going on.
Chaeyoung huffs out an exasperated breath. “I was supposed to surprise you. Chan has something going on at home, so he sent me to supervise your birthday instead. Obviously, I messed that up.”
“It’s fine,” you shrug, taking a seat at the counter and reaching for the icing. “I’ve always wanted to decorate a cake anyway.”
She looks surprised at that, but a smile breaks out across her face. “Really?”
“Really,” you confirm. It’s partially a lie, but you’re decently sure that Chaeyoung will refuse to let you do most of the work anyways. “Uh. I’ll just change first, and then we can get that going?”
“Yeah,” she grins, and you take it as your cue to scurry off to the bedroom.
By the time you come back, there’s a plate of not-burnt toast on your counter, and Chaeyoung’s pouring out two glasses of the juice that you can never bring yourself to buy because of the price tag. “I hope you like it, this is one of my favorites.”
“Like it? I love this,” you gasp, surging forward to pick up one of the glasses. “It’s expensive as hell, though.”
“Well, I couldn’t get you a gift, so I thought a nice morning would suffice,” Chaeyoung laughs. She unties the bow on the cake box to reveal a completely bare vanilla cake, a few packets of sprinkles that you hadn’t noticed now lying next to it. “Do you want to start?”
“Oh, sure.” You choose the blue icing after a bit of debating, and pick up the spatula that your costar offers you. “You didn’t have to, though, I would’ve been okay on my own today.”
Chaeyoung shrugs, “I mean, I didn’t have anything else to do, and I wouldn’t like to be alone on my birthday.”
“How do you usually celebrate?” you question, glancing up at her.
She pauses to think, then answers, “Well, I do live with my members, so we’ll get something to eat. Sometimes, we’re on vacation, so we just do what we can, but I like staying in the dorm to receive the things that their families send me.”
“It sounds sweet.”
“It is,” she grins. “I honestly don’t know what I would do on my own, it seems lonely-- Oh. I’m sorry.”
“What for? It is kind of lonely,” you admit, squeezing a glob of icing out. It’s definitely not as graceful as you would’ve appreciated, and you catch Chaeyoung stifling a laugh. “Chan lived with me at the beginning, but he eventually moved out when I got a girlfriend. Obviously, that didn’t laugh.”
“Sorry,” the other girl repeats again, and you wave a hand out. “When was that?”
“She moved out two years ago,” you answer. “And I’ve been alone since. Or, lonely, not always alone.”
Chaeyoung nods just so that you know she heard you. She accepts the icing tube when you hand it to her, making a spiral that’s infuriatingly better than yours. “How about you? I know you said you aren’t out, but have you dated yet?” you question.
She shakes her head, admitting, “Not yet. I don’t really know how to, you know? You assumed I was straight when you first saw me, so I think everyone else does too.”
“Sorry,” you say, an echo of her.
Your costar doesn’t respond, only setting the spatula down once the basic blue icing is smooth. “I think we’re supposed to refrigerate this before decorating, right?”
You grimace. “Well, I don’t know. I stopped watching cake videos years ago, so I’ll just listen to you.”
Chaeyoung hums and ties the box back up. “Okay, then I’ll just do it. Um, do you mind ordering chicken or something while we wait?”
“Sure.” Reaching for your phone, you ask, “Would you be opposed to romcoms?”
“I’m never opposed to romcoms,” the other girl answers.
You have to remind yourself to order two servings of chicken, something that you haven’t done in a while. But it’s comforting, in a way, to not be alone again.
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“Can you believe we’ve only got a week left of filming? I feel like I haven’t seen you at all.”
You wince guiltily, even though you know that Yerim doesn’t mean it. Acting with your friend was originally a huge incentive for you to accept the film’s role, but the two of you quickly discovered that you had almost no scenes together, and with your push-and-pull with Chaeyoung, you forgot all about it. “Sorry, Yerim.”
She makes an incredulous expression, swatting your arm. “Don’t be ridiculous, Y/N. I’m happy you’re pursuing love and all that, and besides, we’ll have plenty of opportunities to act together.”
Blinking, you set your cup down on the counter. “Pursuing love?”
Yerim raises her eyebrow and says, “Yeah. Aren’t you and Chaeyoung together yet? We’ve been filming for two months, I’ll be shocked if you still haven't kissed and made up.”
“Uh. Well, we’ve kissed, but I don’t think it counted,” you frown. 
Your friend sighs and rolls her eyes. She’s all too used to how dense you are, and apparently, she’s finally gotten tired of it. “You’re an idiot. You literally met the morning of your first script reading, and you knew each other for… what, a week before you had your kiss scene? There’s got to be something there.”
“No.”
Right on cue, a few of the other cast members arrive, Chaeyoung sandwiched between them. “Have you seen the articles?” Nayeon grins, waving her phone around in the air. She’s drunk, obviously, but you have to indulge her.
“Which articles?”
She shoves the screen in your face as an answer, and you cringe when you find a screencap of you and Chaeyoung. “You won’t believe the chemistry-- nope, I’m not reading that.” You hand the phone back to Nayeon, then press it in her hand when she doesn’t take it. Yerim sends you a knowing expression, one that you definitely don’t like.
“Aw, come on! It’s good press,” Nayeon whines. “And a great kiss scene.”
“Don’t be weird,” Chaeyoung warns. She doesn’t seem to be drunk at all, though she does look fantastic in the silver dress that she wears. Your eyes linger on her for an embarrassing amount of time.
Nayeon pouts. She’s bubbly-- you’ve learned that much through acting alongside her in a total of three productions so far. You note that your costar doesn’t seem to be so accustomed to her temperament yet. “You’re no fun, Chaeng. We all know you enjoyed it.”
She goes bright pink at that amidst Yerim’s joking coos. “The token straight, converted?” your friend gasps, and you elbow her to stop her from going too far.
Apparently, it already has. “I didn’t!” Chaeyoung defends herself.
“Prove it,” Nayeon demands, slipping when she attempts to lean on the counter next to you.
Chaeyoung goes silent at that, apparently unable to find a way to ‘prove it’. You finally sigh, “Okay, I think that’s enough teas--”
If it wasn’t for the fact that you’ve long since memorized your entire script book, you would almost think that Chaeyoung reaching forward to tug on the front of your shirt is a scene between your two characters. After all, it’s perfectly in character for your eyes to widen comically as the other girl kisses you right on the lips. 
It’s also in character for Nayeon to start whooping next to you when your hands wrap around Chaeyoung’s waist to pull her in closer. You part at the noise. “You certainly look like you liked it,” Nayeon grins. 
“Yeah, get a room,” Yerim follows, and you shove her.
“You know what? Maybe we will.” Ignoring your friends’ jeering, you grab Chaeyoung’s wrist and lead her down the hallway, though not to a bedroom like you joked you would. “Hey. You okay? I didn’t know if that teasing crossed a line,” you whisper worriedly.
She bites down on her lip, but instead of answering you, Chaeyoung tilts your face up and leans closer, only stopped by your hand on her wrist. “Chae…”
“I’m sorry, this… this isn’t what you want, is it?” She steps back, mouth already opening to apologize, but you stop her from leaving you alone in the hallway.
“Shouldn’t I be asking you that?” With the flashing neon lights echoing in her eyes, you can’t tell what Chaeyoung’s feeling, and you can’t tell if she’s willing to answer you properly at all. “I’m not making a move until you tell me to.”
Still, you don’t hear her say a word, until your grip starts to loosen on her wrist. “Did you drive here yourself?” she finally asks, barely audible. You nod hesitantly, and Chaeyoung’s voice grows firmer when she says, “I’m telling you to make a move.”
“I thought you were questioning?”
She swallows hard and takes your hand. “Not anymore.”
You don’t taste any alcohol when you lick your lower lip, and so, you nod. It’s stupid, especially considering how quickly your time together is about to end.
But for once, you know what you want.
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“Good luck out there, Chae,” you smile, arms wrapped around the girl’s waist. 
“Thanks,” she hums, adjusting her hair yet again in the mirror. “We’re almost done filming, I have to promote us well so that we have enough money to at least put the damn film out.”
“Mm.” Your thumb smooths over the sliver of skin exposed by her top, and you place your chin on her shoulder to look at the two of you together.
She glances down at you. “What? Are you thinking about something?”
“Sort of,” you shrug. “I just can’t believe we’re almost done, but we… we just started this. You know, this thing between us.”
“Yeah, it’s definitely a thing. But it doesn’t have to stop with filming,” Chaeyoung says offhandedly.
Raising an eyebrow, you question, “Doesn’t it? It’s going to be suspicious for us to constantly be seen together after filming together, I’ve seen the way your fans behave. Especially while you’re not out.”
“I think I can negotiate that with my company,” the other girl shakes her head.
You joke, “What, you release another two albums if you get to come out about having a girlfriend?”
“Do you want to be my girlfriend?” Chaeyoung responds immediately. Her ears pink endearingly, and you wait for her to clarify, “In secret for now, obviously. But… one day, I’ll be out about it. I promise.”
“Don’t make empty promises, okay?” You press a kiss to her bare shoulder and let her go when you hear a knock at the dressing room door. “Do good!”
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“Alright, Chaeyoung, it’s about time that we ask you some questions about your upcoming film, isn’t it?”
“Yeah, absolutely,” your costar smiles, and you raise your head from your phone to watch the screen. She’s sitting cross-legged across from some of the most famous idol interviewers in Korea, absolutely poised and natural even in front of the crowd that cheers over the interview.
The woman behind the podium clears her throat. “A huge talking point in Korea right now is your chemistry with your costar, Y/N. How exactly do you pull that off, since you’ve never experienced a relation like that?”
Chaeyoung laughs nervously, tucking her hair behind her ear. “Oh. Well, um, I don’t have much experience with relationships at all, so--”
“Really? A pretty girl like you must have had a boyfriend or two before.” You despise the way that the interviewer leans in conspiratorially, as if the prying questions weren’t completely scripted. “But you seem a little to pretty to have experienced that, am I right?”
The crowd laughs with her, but Chaeyoung glances behind the scenes, probably to where her own staff sits. “You know, you can tell me if you ever felt… uncomfortable during filming,” the interviewer continues on. “Y/N has been out for years, hasn’t she?”
“Oh, she has…” You’re practically fuming, but you also can’t seem to pry your eyes away from the screen. All of Chaeyoung’s practiced idol-charm has seemed to dissipate into thin air, and she’s practically blending into the wall as she sits there.
The Chaeyoung you know-- no, the Chaeyoung that you’ve come to know, wouldn’t stand to hear something like that. You’ve watched her argue with a scriptwriter, and you’ve watched him get fired because he said something incredibly offensive, even though it wasn’t about you. But here, she sits still and just listens to the interviewer discuss you behind your back, and she says nothing about all the disgustingly backhanded comments.
The thing is, you don’t care about Chaeyoung not being out. You were closeted for enough time yourself, and you know how hard it is, so you’d never wish it on her; but watching her completely let go of all her personal principles just for a stupid interview is just another reminder that you’re letting go of your own. Chaeyoung won’t ever speak up, you realize, because her career comes before anything else. And you can’t stand for that.
“I’m leaving,” you tell the guard standing outside of your door. Only increasing your anger, tears start to burn in your eyes, and you scrape your sleeve across your face as roughly as you can. Chan picks up on one dial, and you say furiously, “Pick me up. It’s over.” In more ways than one.
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Chaeyoung shivers at the top of the hill, where she’s supposed to be filming her closing scene with you. She hasn’t seen you for the past week, and after how disastrous her interview was, she’s pretty sure she knows why.
“Where’s Y/N?” she finally asks her makeup artist, giving in to her own curiosity.
Felix shrugs, reaching to mess with the blood on her hairline. “I have no idea, honestly, I haven’t seen her yet. She’s never late, though, you don’t have to worry. You’ll get your scene done.”
“That’s…” Chaeyoung sighs. That’s why she should be worried. “Right.”
“Okay, can we start?” Seulgi shouts. It’s started to rain, but with the excited look on the director’s face, Chaeyoung figures that it suits the scene even better than the gray clouds that had been planned. “Great. Chaeyoung, Y/N!”
Your hair is plastered to your forehead with the rain, and water makes your blouse cling to your curves; with the grim expression on your face, Chaeyoung could easily just mistake you for your character. “Hi,” you mutter, taking a seat on the grass right next to your costar. You say nothing else.
When cued, Chaeyoung takes a deep breath before her line. “Luna. I love you.”
For a second, Chaeyoung thinks you won’t respond, but the rasp to your voice proves her wrong. “No. No, you don’t.”
“I think I’m the one who should be deciding that, don’t you?” The blonde raises her eyebrows, reaching forward hesitantly for your shoulder.
Of course, you dodge it. Blinking the rain out of your eyes, you’re resigned when you ask, “You have your birthday gala tonight, don’t you?”
“Yes, but--” Chaeyoung swallows, lets her hand make contact, then continues, “I’m spending as much time as I can with you, aren’t I with you right now?”
“But you’re going.” It feels like you’re staring right into Chaeyoung’s soul when you speak, as despondent as your voice is. She nods, and you stand, her hand slipping off of your shoulder and into her lap. “Then go. You’re still a princess at the end of the day, aren’t you?”
“At the end of the day, yes…”
“You can’t do that. You sneak out onto my ships, get my people to love you and protect you, and then turn right back to your family to stay safe while we die for you. You can’t say you support our cause and then go back on it when it’s inconvenient for you, it doesn’t work like that!” Chaeyoung flinches at how intense you sound; at this point, she barely knows if it’s still acting. She can only hear her own heart in her ears, can only see your chest heaving from how quickly you spoke, and it all feels too real.
“What, do you want me to get found out?” Chaeyoung demands, getting to her feet as well. The rain becomes harsher, angled so that it perfectly blurs her vision of you. “I’ve saved your ass just as many times too, don’t pretend like I’m not a valuable part of your ship!”
“You’re still pretending.” Realizing that it’s not the right line, Chaeyoung opens her mouth to stop you, but your voice chills her into silence when you speak again. “You’ll always pretend, as long as it benefits you, won’t you? You can’t do that, Helen, not if you ‘love me’. Putting a crown on your head doesn’t mean that you’re a princess. Until you realize that, and until you’re willing to embrace it, you don’t love me. and I don’t love you.”
None of it is the script. None of it is the scene that you rehearsed a thousand times together in your trailer, but somehow, it makes Chaeyoung’s heart quaver in her throat so much more than the original lines ever did.
And when you drop your gaze to the ground, turning to walk off into the rain alone, she knows that to you, your entire relationship is already done.
475 notes · View notes
just-dreaming-marvel · 3 years ago
Text
Safe
MAIN MASTERLIST
Tony Stark x Fem!Reader 
Word Count: 3,870ish
Request: Hi so this is my first time actually talking about this but I have PTSD from when I went to a party and 2 guys sexually assaulted me. I think about it a lot epically when I'm in crowds and such thinking they may be near me. I know Tony deals with PTSD but from a different situations and I was wondering how he would help his girlfriend with it? & I just really wanna feel safe when it's so hard for me to right now 
Warnings: sexual assault (not explicit), mention of rape and rape kit, PTSD
Notes: I hope that did this request justice. Please read carefully. The first “section” (divided by the ~~~) tells about the sexual assault incident. It doesn’t go too in depth. But if you don’t feel comfortable reading it, please skip that part and read the rest. (If you chose to skip that part, begin reading after the first ~~~.)
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You couldn’t stop the tears from cascading down your cheeks. Even though you knew how it looked, especially as you sat in the corner of the subway car. Trying to get yourself to disappear from the world. Mascara had joined your tears cause you hadn’t thought to wear a waterproof type. Why would you? You never thought that it would happen to you. Yes, you’ve heard the stories, you’d been warned, and you even knew people who had it happen to you. But maybe you didn’t think it could ever since you became an Avenger. Ever since you’d meet Tony and he promised to protect you forever.
You went to the party knowing that you couldn’t drink, at least not very much. There was an important mission tomorrow, everyone on the team was needed. That was also the reason why you didn’t want to go to the party at first. But Tony had convinced you, saying that you needed to hang out with your old friends.
The old friends had met you in front of where the party was. Greeting you with large smiles and hugs. The first few hours were fine. But the people got drunker and the music got louder. And before you knew it you had been separated from your friends. Two guys were next to you, basically on top of you because of how crowded the space was.
They both tried to get you to go someplace else with them. You kept refusing. They kept pushing. Eventually, they didn’t care to get you into a more secluded setting. They shoved a drink down your throat, almost immediately putting you in a dazed state. One of them went behind you while the other stayed in front. They sexually assaulted you right then and there. With no one caring. One was always holding you up with a hand around your mouth, so that the other could be inside you. Then they would switch or join the other.
Slowly, they were moving you to the side of the room. You didn’t know what to do, how to react. You were in such a state of shock that all your training went out the window. Whatever they gave you wasn’t helping as well. They enjoyed you for far too long before literally tossing you in the alley outside of where you were.
There you laid, trying to get yourself to move. Eventually you did. As you got up, you noted your lack of undergarments. All you had on was your dress. Your purse was missing as well. Your whole body was shaking as you headed out of the alley to the nearest subway station.
You hadn’t even noticed the tears until you were sitting in the subway car. Getting weird looks. You didn’t care though. All you wanted to do was go home and wash this night away.
~~~
“Sir, it appears Miss L/N is back,” JARVIS informed Tony. He was up late in his lab, not being able to sleep without you safely in the Tower.
“Thanks, J,” Tony responded. “Tell her—“
“There’s something wrong.” Tony’s head snapped up. JARVIS had never spoken like that. Spoken with just concern. “I’m bringing her to you.”
Tony rushed to the elevator, already knowing not to question JARVIS. He waited anxiously for the elevator to open. And when it did, his heart completely shattered. You were hugging yourself, pushed up against the corner of the elevator. You were on the ground, your face a mess.
“Y/N!” Tony exclaimed. 
You flinched. You looked up at him, but you weren’t seeing him. Your eyes were red and glassed over, and not just because of the tears you were shedding. Tony crouched down in front of you, careful not to get into your space.
“Honey… wanna tell me what’s going on?” You shook your head, still not looking at him. “Alright, that’s okay. Can I help you up? I think you need to be checked out.”
“No!” You squeaked, pushing yourself further into the corner.
“Y/N, I’m not going to hurt you. Have I ever?”
You breathed raggedly, trying to get your brain to form coherent thoughts. “N-noo…”
“Then can I carry you out of the elevator?”
It took you a moment, but eventually you nodded. Tony let out a breath of relief before quickly getting his arms situated to pick you up. As he did, your dress moved up, revealing that you had no underwear on. Tony’s heart clenched and he had to repress a growl building in his throat. You didn’t need to tell him what happened anymore, he could easily guess. And after he was done helping you, he was going to make sure whoever did this to you paid.
You were trembling in his arms as he carried you out of the elevator and into his lab. Tony set you down on a clean work bench and watched you curl in on yourself. He turned to his monitors, taking a deep breath before he freaked out. He typed quickly on his keyboard, notifying Wanda and Natasha of the situation and to hurry on up to the lab. He then contacted the Tower’s female doctor, requesting her to the lab immediately. 
Wanda and Natasha were in the lab faster than Tony had expected. He had moved to your side, trying to figure out what to do. You were still crying and partially dazed. 
“Y/N,” Wanda called sweetly, appearing next to your head. “You’re in shock. May I help you?”
“I… I don’t know…” you mumbled.
“I won’t do anything without your permission. I just want you to feel some peace, get some rest.”
“….okay….”
“Before Wanda does anything,” Natasha cut in. She paused, briefly glancing at the other two. “We need your verbal consent to do a rape kit.”
You clenched your eyes shut as a sob tore through your whole being. Your heart was racing dangerously as you began to struggle to breath.
“Sir, it seems that Y/N is panicking,” JARVIS said.
“No, shit, J!” Tony responded. “Hey, honey, hey.” He bent down to be closer to your face. “I need you to breath or to allow Wanda to help you. It’s your choice. Nothing will be done without your consent.”
Tony gripped your hands close and ever so lovingly. You allowed yourself to look into Tony’s pleading brown eyes. You knew that he would never hurt you, he never had. Shakily, you nodded.
“Yes,” you rasped. “Help me.”
Tony pulled your hands to his lips, kissing them. “Of course, sweetheart.”
“Y/N, we need your verbal consent for the rape kit,” Natasha reminded, gently.
“Okay,” you breathed out. “You can do the rape kit.”
Wanda’s red streams of power floated around your head, putting you into a peaceful, dreamless sleep. And that’s when Tony let loose. He turned around and threw the items off his desk with a shout. 
“Tony! Tony!” Natasha exclaimed, moving to stop the billionaire. She grabbed him from behind, turning him around and pulling him in for a hug.
“I failed her,” Tony cried softly. “I failed to protect her.”
“You didn’t do anything. No one could have seen this coming.”
“Excuse me,” the doctor exited the elevator. “I was called up here.”
“Yes, yes,” Tony nodded, putting his sunglasses over his eyes. “The patient, Y/N, is on the table. She’s given verbal consent for a rape kit and I would like her blood to be drawn. I want to see if she was drugged.”
“Cause there should have been more bruises and fight marks,” Natasha whispered, putting the pieces together.
She knew you. She trained with you. You were capable of taking down Steve and Bucky on your best day. How did you not fight this? Natasha and Tony both knew you would have, so there had to be something that prevented you from doing so.
“Alright, I’ll get right to work.”
~~~
When you began coming to, you noticed how badly your head was pounding. You were confused initially, at your surroundings. The white and gray walls. The twin bed and the monitors beeping. But then it all came flooding back to you. You gasped, sitting up dramatically and frantically looking around the room. The monitor beside you began beeping faster and louder.
“Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,” Tony said, rushing into the room. He sat on the edge of your bed and set his hands on your upper arms. “Breathe, honey, breathe. You’re in the med-bay, you’re safe.”
“I… they…” You stuttered as you tried to catch your breath and your racing thoughts. “I should have… I could have…”
“Whatever you’re thinking, sweetheart, I need you to stop. It was not your fault. You were drugged.”
“I-I know… they stuffed it down my throat… I… I kept saying no… But there was two of them…”
“You don’t have to talk about it right now,” Tony cupped your cheeks, brushing his calloused thumbs across your cheeks to catch the tears. “I don’t want you to get worked up when you’ve just gone through a trauma.”
“I… I… they…” You were getting worked up, which was definitely something you did not need right now.
“Sssshhhh,” Tony coed. “You’re okay, you’re safe now.”
“Good morning,” the doctor greeted, walking into the room. “How are we feeling this morning?”
“I… I don’t know how to answer that,” you responded quietly.
The doctor gave a sympathetic smile. “That’s to be expected. Are you hurting anywhere?”
You sucked in your lip and thought about it. You did hurt. Your heart, your head. Every area they touched burned, like a phantom pain. But do you tell them that? Do you freak them out and worry them more? Or do you lie?
“I… uh…” You stuttered. “It…” The doctor and Tony eyed each other, worriedly. “Um… y-yes…”
Both the doctor and Tony were surprised at how you were actually honest with them. But they weren’t going to question it.
“Okay,” the doctor jot something down on the tablet she was holding. “Do you mind sharing where exactly you’re feeling the pain?”
“I… um… no…” you said.
“That’s okay. I’ll just order you a general painkiller, hopefully that will help.”
“Is it okay if I take her to our room?” Tony wondered.
“Yes, I can check in on her there and she would be more comfortable, I’m guessing.”
“Please,” you pleaded quietly. 
You needed some place more private and where you felt safe. Tony and yours shared room had always been your safe place. Tony had even shared with you that he felt the same after you had moved in. In that room you two had shared very intimate moments. Physically, emotionally, mentally. It was a place where both of you could let your guard down and completely be yourselves.
Tony leaned down and placed a kiss to the top of your head. “I’ll go get a wheelchair, sweetheart.”
Tony quickly grabbed a wheelchair and gently placed you in the chair. He took the blanket that he had laid on you when you were on the table, and placed it on you. You curled onto the chair, pulling the blanket around you. He thanked the doctor before pushing you to the bedroom. 
Once you were there, Tony placed you onto the bed. He helped you under the covers before sitting beside you.
“What can I help you with, dear?” Tony asked softly. He took your hand, rubbing his thumb along the top of it. “Do you need anything? Food? Water?” 
“Actually… a shower…” you responded. “I need to wash all this off me.”
“Okay, okay. Let me go get it all set up and started and then I’ll help you.” 
He rushed off before you could get the courage to tell him that you didn’t want his help. Not that you didn’t appreciate it. But you couldn’t stand the thought of him, or any other man for that matter, touching your skin or see you naked. Tony was back faster than you thought he would be. He didn’t take any notice of your glossy eyes as he picked you up, took you into the bathroom, and set you on the edge of the tub.
“I’m going to help you out of your clothes, okay?” Tony was careful, making sure that he had your permission before he did anything.
“N-noo,” you squeaked. “I… sorry…”
Every time Tony thought his heart couldn’t shatter anymore, you’d do something to prove him wrong. “Okay, honey. That’s okay. I’ll just leave the door ajar and be outside if you need anything.” He placed a quick kiss on your forehead. “Right outside.”
Then he left you. You slowly removed your clothes, hating seeing the dress you used to love. And the skin you used to be so confident in and let Tony worship didn’t physical look different, but it sure felt different. 
When you stepped under the streaming, hot water, you let it pound against your back. You were unable to move for longer than you cared to admit, so stuck inside your mind. Reliving those horrific memories that were last night.
“Honey,” Tony’s voice filled the shower, with help from JARVIS, “your heart rate is escalating. Are you okay?”
“Y-yeah-h,” you replied.
“Are you sure?”
No, you thought. But you weren’t about to tell him that. “I’ll be out in a minute!”
You washed your hair before you began to scrub your body. And scrub and scrub. Until your skin was red. You turned off the water before stepping out and drying yourself. Thankfully, Tony had left clothes for you. A pair of his boxers and your favorite shirt of his.
While you had been in the shower, Tony was leaning his back against the wall next to the door. Trying to keep his tears at bay. He couldn’t let you know how this was effecting him, because he couldn’t imagine how bad this was all effecting you.
When you finally came out of the bathroom, the emptiness in your eyes scared Tony the most. He wordlessly helped you into bed before getting into the bed himself. He moved over to you and tried to bring you into him, only for you to immediately tense up.
“I’m sorry,” you rasped. You clenched your eyes shut as you tried not to release any tears. “I’m so sorry.”
Tony’s arms immediately retracted. “Please don’t apologize. You didn’t do anything wrong. It’s going to take time and I’ll be here every step of the way.”
~~~
The nightmares that occurred made you feel so bad. You woke up Tony every night. But all he would say is that you did the same for him, so he’s just returning the favor. It was the truth. Tony’s PTSD used to keep him up at night, but with you and therapy he had been gaining positive strides. So he was determined to help you do the same. He found you a therapist, which took some time for you to open up to, but you did. He didn’t touch you without your permission, and made sure everyone else did the same. 
It took you almost six months for you to get physical with Tony again. But there was no funny business about it, you two were still taking it slow. You were slowly healing, slowly feeling safe again. Though sometimes for every step forward you took, you felt like you would then take four steps back. There was one thing you hadn’t made progress with at all yet. Crowds.
Crowds had you terrified. Always checking your surroundings for the men that had harmed you. Or for any person that might think of doing the same. That had gotten you taken off missions, for the foreseeable future. You had barely left the tower since that night. Only getting fresh air from the balconies and rooftop. Tony, because of you, had even stopped hosting parties. Team movie nights even took a while to start back up. Not wanting to rush you. But you had finally began to warm up to the team as a whole again.
You had successfully avoided crowds, parties, and galas of any sorts for months. Well, until the government had decided to honor the Avengers and it became a requirement for you to show up to the celebration gala.
“I’m going to be by your side all night,” Tony promised. 
He had a hand above your knee as you two sat close together in one of the limos taking the Avengers to the gala. You two were decked out in some of your best attire, which could usually lift your mood because of how extremely handsome Tony looked. But it was failing to tonight. Your palms were sweaty, you kept having to wipe them against your dress. Your heart was trying to not race and you were trying to keep your mind from spiraling out of control.
“Hey, look at me,” Tony gently directed. You let out a shaky breath as you did. He could see the fear in your eyes, while you could see the overwhelming love in his. “Natasha and Clint have done a sweep of the building. JARVIS, Maria, and I have checked over the guest list. Everything’s going to me alright.”
“I… I don’t know—“
“We don’t have to stay long. After they hand us that bloody paperweight, we’re out, okay? I have Happy on stand-by with the limo to take us wherever you want. Plus, I won’t leave your side.”
You swallowed. “Let’s get out of this car before I change my mind.”
Tony pecked your lips. “You got it.” 
Tony exited out the door on his side, the flashing lights of the paparazzi beginning. You took another shaky, deep breath as Tony ran around to your side to open the door. He held his hand out to you, firmly taking yours once it was placed. He pulled you from the car and guided you through the crowd of people. Yes, they were all behind barriers. But they were shouting your name, shouting questions. It wasn’t a secret that you hadn’t appeared on a mission, let alone outside the Tower, in months.
Tony paused you two a few times for pictures. Always keeping you tightly to his side. He’d press a kiss somewhere on your open skin and whisper about how good you were doing and how proud he was of you. You kept taking deep breaths and tried to focus solely on Tony. He noticed each breath, responded with a gentle squeeze or a kiss.
Finally, you arrived inside. It was a large area, very grand with a stage and set tables on the other end of it. With a dance floor in the middle and a bar on the side. You would have appreciated it all more if there weren’t so many people. The further you entered, the harder time you had not checking your surroundings. The itch to do so was driving you mad. The moment you turned your head to check over your shoulder, Tony turned it to face him.
“Your breathings picking up, sweetheart,” he whispered. “I need you to match mine.”
“I—I—I can’t… we need to go home,” you stammered, letting your fears get the best of you.
“Yes, you can. We’ve been working on this, we’ll be gone within the hour.”
“I…” Your head snapped towards the sound of a booming voice, causing you to almost jump out of your skin.
“Woah there.” Tony held onto you. “It’s just Thor telling the congress people a story. You’re okay.”
“I really don’t think I can do this, Tony.”
“What do you always say when I begin to panic?”
“That’s different. You—“
“No arguing. What do you tell me?”
“I tell you that you can get through it. That I will go through it will you.”
“And?”
“I tell you how proud I am of you and how much I love you.”
“And what do I tell you?”
“That I can do it. That you’re proud of how far I’ve come and how you’re going through it with me.”
“Exactly. The fact that you got out of the limo was a huge accomplishment. And that you’re standing in this building with people all around you is an even bigger one. Honey, you have made so much progress even just tonight. That makes me so very proud of you.”
“But I still don’t know how much longer I can do this for.”
“That’s fine. Completely fine. How about we see if a dance will help? We’ll be able to see the whole room together, keep an eye out. If that doesn’t work, then we’ll leave. Who cares about this dumb award anyway?”
“One dance… I’ll try one dance.”
Tony smiled as he pulled you onto the dance floor. He held you close as he twirled you around. The both of you checked your surroundings. You knew that nothing would happen with Tony with you, your brain just didn’t want to believe it. No matter what.
“Tony,” you rasped once the next song started. Your head was spiraling and your heart was still on the verge of racing. “I… I really think I need to go.”
“Okay, okay. We’ll send a message to the team in the car,” Tony responded. “Let’s go.”
He led you out, calling Happy on the way. You let out a breath of relief at the fact he was taking you the back way so that no one would make a fuss over it. Thankfully, Happy was already ready and waiting. He opened the door for the two of you. You sent him a grateful smile, which he reciprocated. The moment Happy shut the door, you leaned heavily into Tony. You hadn’t realized how much of your energy was being used to try and keep yourself calm.
“Just relax, baby,” Tony whispered, holding you close. “Nothing’s going to happen to you in here. I’ve got you.”
“Where to Boss?” Happy asked. 
Tony looked down at you. He smirked when he realized that you had passed out. “Home, Hap. Let’s go home.”
~~~
Tony carried you into the bedroom. Before the incident, he would have been able to change you out of your clothes without permission. But now he needed to ask you, he didn’t want to push you over the edge.
“Sweetheart,” he whispered, gently shaking you. You groaned. “I need you to wake up, baby. You need to get changed so that we can go to bed.”
“M’kay,” you mumbled, eyes fluttering, failing to open.
“Just wait here, I’ll grab everything.”
All you could do was nod in response. Tony rushed around, changing himself before grabbing the things he needed for you. He told you every move he was going to make before he made it, not wanting to freak you out. Once you were all ready, he pulled you into bed with him. He pressed a kiss to your head and held you close, thinking that you were already asleep.
“Thank you, Tones,” you murmured, practically moving to lay yourself on top of him, “for always keeping me safe.”
“Of course, honey, of course.”
TAGLIST INFORMATION
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navalcriminalimagines · 3 years ago
Text
Lost self confidence
Anon: Can I request a lil one-shot where y/n has been on the team for a while and she put on some weight/starts feeling insecure about it and Gibbs helps her feel better? :> If not it's okay (Preferably a lot of fluff, angst & smut up to you)
Anon: Can I ask for a plus sized reader and gibbs please? I never see them :( Maybe someone says something about her weight when theyre working a case or something and he does the gibbs-legendary-elevator-conversation??? OuO
I thought those two requests work well together. Enjoy, lovely anons! ❤️
Warnings: punch, mention of blood, hurtful comments about weight
Tags: @hotch-meeeeeuppppp @madamsnape921 @specialagentastra
~~~~~
Your body changed. A lot. More than you like to admit.
You have been avoiding mirrors for a while now, but as you stand in front of it right now, only dressed in underwear, you have to face it. Your body changed and you don’t like it. Actually, you hate it.
As you look at your stomach that used to be flat, your hips that are larger, the celulitis… you can’t help but to think it’s no wonder you’re alone. Who could you attract, looking like this? Not many people and definitely not the man you wish you had. He has probably noticed how your body is different. Maybe before, you stood a chance with the man but not anymore. It’s a lost cause.
You put some clothes on and left for work.
You and your team are working on a tricky case, you are not impatient to get into the office today. But as always, you put on your best smile and pretend that everything is okay. Even though it’s most definitely not.
You skipped breakfast this morning - on purpose - but when you sit at your desk, you can see a brown bag sitting there. You look inside; donuts. Not just regular donuts, but your two favorites.
“Gibbs’s treat.” Tony lets you know.
“What’s the occasion?” you casually answer, putting the bag aside. It’s definitely a bad idea to eat them.
“No occasion. You’re just his favorite,”
You can’t help but smile at this. Not that it’s true, but it feels nice anyway. Before, you would have been happy about your boss’s attention, but not today. “Aren’t you going to eat them?”
“I’m not hungry. Do you want them?”
Tony grabs the bag before you know it. At least, you won’t have to throw them away.
You put yourself into work quickly after. You need to take your mind off your insecurities and how bad you feel about yourself. Tony tries to make casual conversation, just being his old self but as you barely answer, he realizes that something’s wrong with you. He just doesn’t know what.
“You’re staring.” You say to him, without looking up from your computer screen.
“You’re in a bad mood.” He states.
“Am not.”
“Y/N, please.” He stands up from his desk and walks up to yours. “I’m a trained investigator. Talk to me.”
“Not a chance.” You keep working, avoiding eye contact. You’re scared that he may read into you, or worse; that you may cry if he starts to ask too many questions.
“Did Gibbs get the order wrong?” He jokes. He doesn’t mean wrong at all, but it sets you off.
“Just-- leave me alone, DiNozzo.”
You practically jump for your chair, grab your laptop and walk away from the bullpen, leaving your coworker in awe. He’s not sure what just happened, but he’s more convinced that something’s really not okay with you.
You spend the next two hours hiding in the conference room. You didn’t work much, you mostly cried and felt sorry for yourself. You really hate yourself and your body right now. It’s not about gaining some weight, it’s also about how lonely you feel. You love your team more than anything, they really are like your family but when you get home at night, it’s just you. You and your thoughts. You and your loneliness.
You just want someone to get home to. Someone to cuddle, someone to love and who loves you back, someone to fall asleep with. Just someone.
You had your face buried in your arms when you heard the door opening. You look up, ashamed. Gibbs is standing here.
He closes the door behind him and walks to you. “You okay, Y/N?” he softly asks.
“Y-yeah. Just a bit tired.”
“You know, if DiNozzo pissed you off, you can tell me.”
You chuckle. “Nah, it’s nothing he did. I guess I got up on the wrong foot this morning, that’s it.”
Gibbs did let it go - for now - but you knew he didn’t buy any of it.
That is later's concern though, there is some news on the case and you need to get going. The afternoon went better; your mind was focused on the case, you didn’t have time to think of the rest. It’s only when you get back home that it hits again. Before taking a shower, you put a sheet on the big mirror in your bedroom. You don’t want to face your reflection for now.
*****
The next morning, you are in a better mood. Not entirely, you still skipped breakfast and avoided all the mirrors but you made a decision: you won’t let the team know. You won’t let them see you’re going through a tough time. It would only make things worse.
Everything’s going okay until that stupid lawyer shows up. You never wanted to see him again after hooking up with him over a year ago. He seemed nice and good looking, he flirted with you the whole time he was in the office, so when he invited you for a drink, you said yes.
Your agreement had something to do with Gibbs’s flirting with that shrink but to this day, you keep telling yourself that it hadn’t.
After a few drinks, you let the lawyer kiss you and before you knew it, you took him home and you had a one night stand.
The sex wasn’t the problem, you actually had a lot of fun. The problem was the next day.
He was gone before you woke up - still not a problem. But when Gibbs yelled at you for giving him some private information, you understood your mistake. The man had used you. While you were sleeping, he looked into your files and found the information he needed to save his client’s butt.
After that, Gibbs gave you the silent treatment for weeks. And he stopped being mad at you after you came to see him in his basement and did your mea culpa. No one ever talked about it since.
But now, the same man is standing in the middle of the bullpen. You growled to yourself before going in.
You don’t greet him at all, just sit at your desk. “Y/N? That’s you?” he says, apparently shocked.
You look at him briefly and don’t answer.
“My god, what happened to you?” he adds.
“Excuse you?” you snap.
“God, if you had been looking like this last year, I wouldn’t have been able to use you.”
His sentence feels like a punch in your stomach, it hurts. But it shouldn’t and you know it. But it still does. You stay there a moment, not knowing if you want to cry and beat the crap out of him. Probably both at the same, but you don’t move or don’t say a thing, you’re like frozen. You barely don’t notice when Gibbs pushes the man towards the elevator.
“Are you okay, Y/N?” Ziva asks.
In the elevator
“Overprotective much, Gibbs?” the lawyer tries to appear confident and unafraid. He has his back against the wall, and in a second, he can hear Gibbs’s fist hitting a few inches away from his head. If the fist had touched his nose, he probably would have needed plastic surgery.
“Ever in your life, you disrespect a woman like that again, and especially--especially not Y/N.”
The lawyer made many people angry over the years, but never had he seen a man as angry as Gibbs looks right now.
“The only reason my hand is in this wall and not your face right now, is because she wouldn’t want me to get in trouble, but trust me when I say that all I want to do right now is to shoot you right in your precious parts.”
Gibbs is panting from anger. He can’t remember the last time he said that many words at once. But there’s no way that he or anyone else can disrespect you like this. Never, under his watch.
“So I’m gonna be very clear, you give that case to someone else. I don’t give a shit who, you just do it. And I don’t ever want to see your face again. Cause if I do, you’ll be so disfigured, you won’t be able to get another woman. Ever.”
“I could sue you for those threats, Special Agent Gibbs.”
“Are you planning to?”
“Maybe I am.”
“Well, in that case--”
This time, Gibbs’s fist hit the nose.
Meanwhile, in the bullpen
“Are you okay, Y/N?” Ziva asks.
“Yeah-yeah,” you clearly lie as your eyes are watering.
Your coworker isn’t buying it. She takes a step forward and hugs you softly. “Please, don’t let him get to you.” she whispers in your ear. “You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.”
Those words make you cry. You are not really buying them, but it does something to hear them. And you know deep inside that Ziva wouldn’t say something she doesn’t think.
As she keeps hugging, you can feel someone else’s arms wrapping around both of you. It’s Tony and shortly after, Tim is joining. “I think we should call Ducky. We’re going to have a crime scene.” Tony jokes to light the mood.
“I don’t want Gibbs to put himself in trouble for me.” you sadly say.
“Y/N, if Gibbs hadn’t taken him in the elevator, we would all have jumped on him.” Tim tells you. Which surprises you because Tim is the one to avoid a fight as much as he can.
“Also, the only reason I’m not asking you out is because of Rule 12.”
You are about to answer to Tony when you can hear the elevator’s doors opening. You let go of one another and watch Gibbs as he comes back to you and takes you by the hand. “Someone may have to call 911.” he tells the rest of the team.
Gibbs takes you to the other elevator, the one that leads to the lower floors, where Abby’s lab and Autopsy are. But of course, he switches the button as soon as the doors close. He doesn’t say a thing, he just hugs you tight. “Your hand is blue, Gibbs.” you cry in his neck.
“Yeah and his nose is red, who cares.” he kisses your hair. “I don’t want you to cry because of him, Y/N. And especially not because of what he said.”
“But Gibbs--”
“Not ‘but’, Y/N. Look at me.” he softly grabs your chin with his non-injured hand and forces you to look into his eyes. “You may not believe me right now, but you’re beautiful, Y/N. Sexy. Hot.” you uncontrollably shake your head, not buying a word he says. “I know I’m not the best with words, so I’ll let my actions speak.”
Gibbs ducks his head just a bit and closes the gap between his lips and yours. He softly kisses. You probably have never been kissed this softly before. Gibbs is so gentle and tender, his lips move slowly but expertedly. You’re literally melting under him.
The kiss may have lasted for minutes, hours, you don’t really know. You lost track of time, as if the world had stopped spinning.
“I’m sorry I waited for something like this to happen to do it. I’ve wanted this for a very long time, Y/N.”
“Me, too, Gibbs. But I’m not sure that’s the best time. I’ve lost all self confidence and--”
He kisses you again, undoubtedly to make you shut up. “I’ll help you find it again. I wish you could see yourself through my eyes.”
You rest your forehead against his, some tears are still rolling down your cheeks. “You’re not bad with words.”
“I’m still better with touch.”
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thefanficmonster · 4 years ago
Text
Just Two Sad Roommates
Corpse Husband x Reader(Female)
Warnings: Swearing (maybe)
Genre: Angst, Fluff
Summary: The power of medieval tavern music gets put to the test when Corpse’s roommate is having a rough day. SPOILER ALERT: it’s more powerful than anyone could assume.
Requested by Anon. You know who you are 😊😋 Wish I could tag you, I loved this idea so much and had such a fun time writing it. Hope you enjoy it just as much 🥰
The last twenty four hours haven’t been so great. 
Last night I had a huge fight with my boyfriend over his flirty messages with several girls. It was not just witty banter, it was way more and way more hurtful to me. He obviously denied it and defended himself, at least in the beginning of the argument. Then he took on the accusatory stance, pointing fingers at me for living with another guy. That had me absolutely fuming. Not only was his statement fabricated and literally made up on the spot, but he also used some seriously horrible insults for him. I was having non of it. Corpse is a really great roommate, sweet guy and overall amazing person. I haven’t once argued with him since we’ve started living together. We’re actually quite good friends. So hearing my asshole boyfriend call him all those names was more than enough to chase him out of the apartment. Thankfully, Corpse wasn’t home to hear all that. He rarely leaves the apartment but by some miracle this was the time he was absent.
Then this morning my mom called me to have a chat. It started off decently enough but it only remained that way for so long. It didn’t take her long to start criticizing each and every element of my existence. From my job, my boyfriend, my living arrangement, the career I’ve decided to pursue, the fact I moved to a different state, my paycheck that’s lower than her friend’s daughter’s...…..You get the point. 
Now I’m sitting here, contemplating what the two years I’ve been in a relationship with Marcus mean to me. I guess it is just like a phone call from my mother - starts off nice but slowly deteriorates. All things follow this pattern in my life, apparently. And just like the phone calls, I’ve considered ending things between me and him many times but never actually decided on it. Until now. The last part of this decision is executing it, which doesn’t look very promising. My thumbs are frozen, hovering over the keyboard.
I take a second to take a look at my life from a third person point of view, like an out of body experience. I am wrapped in a blanket, huddled on the couch like a burrito with a face. A really sad burrito with a face. I have a job where I work as much as three highly ranked workers and get paid a little over a secretary’s paycheck. I’m in a constant state of exhaustion and disinterest. I often forget I’m human and just assume I can live like a cactus - no food, no water. I have a boyfriend that’s cheating on me and most likely has been for quite some time now. And we’ve been dating for two fucking years. Man, that must be the longest cheat streak in history. Who knows with how many girls as well. And I still have trouble deciding weather to break up with him or not. Actually no, scratch that, I have already decided, but it feel so unnatural and so out of character that my body refuses to complete the task of delivering the final blow to the structure of this relationship which was already weak to begin with.
And it only got weaker when I started catching feelings for another guy. I know, I know, I’m a bad person for that, but I was never planning to act on those feelings. They have always just...lingered, loomed over me. They got stronger and stronger every time Marcus and I would fight, as though they were laughing at my mock of a relationship.
Speaking of laughter, I hear my roommate laughing in his recording room. I gave him the spare room for his recording equipment for a cheap add to his rent fee and it’s probably the second best decision I’ve ever made - first being picking him to be my roommate. He was among the first to reply to my online add and appeared the least sketchy over the phone. More hypnotizing if I’m honest. He could’ve told me he was a hitman and I wouldn’t have batted an eye, handing the keys to his room and the apartment without a second thought. All he had to do was keep talking. Again, SUE ME.
“Fuck, I’m so fucking pathetic!“ I drop my phone when all the strings inside me snap, releasing the sobs and tears I’ve been holding back for so long.
I bring my knees up to my chest, hiding my head in between them, desperately trying to shield myself from the plane crash that is my life at the moment. Crying makes me feel even sadder and more miserable but I have nothing left to do to get all the crap that’s piled up inside me out.
I’m on the verge of falling asleep, the tears have dried and the sobs have died somewhere in my chest, when I hear what sounds like music straight from Robin Hood’s time. 
Holy shit, I’ve lost it
I lift my head from in-between my knees, looking around the living room for the source of the jolly, lighthearted tune which despite all the heaviness of my self-loathing makes me feel like the main character in an medieval adventure. Wait...Holy crap, it’s that medieval adventure, Robin Hood-ass music I hear from Corpse’s room!
I whip around to face the entrance from to the hallway where I see an arm sticking out, holding a phone which is where the music is coming from. 
“Corpse?“ I call out to him in a questioning manner, shifting to a sitting position with my blanket kicked off of me and bunched up next to me.
“I can’t tell if you’re angry or sad...or both. Didn’t want to get attacked upon entering the room.“ I see the right side of his face peek out as well.
I break out into laughter, covering my mouth with one hand, “You’re such a dork.”
He takes this as a sign to come in, pausing the music as he does so. “What’s wrong?”
My laugh stops but a smile remains on my face as I look at him. He just has that effect on me. “A lot. What’s going on with you?”
He shrugs his shoulders, plopping down on the couch, “The usual, streaming Among Us. You should play with me and my friends some time.”
I scoff, “I can pull of a lie no problem. Maybe I really should.” I don’t actually consider it, it’s just funny to think about. 
I have never watched any of Corpse’s content. Not his scary story videos, not his streams, not his animated compilations. Just his songs. And let me tell you...they are hella good. One song and I was hooked.
“Hey, I have a question.“ I tilt my head to look at him, “What’s with you and your love for medieval adventure music?“
“Medieval tavern music, and it’s not really love.“ He shakes his head with this dopey grin that is just. so. adorable. “More like a coping mechanism. Tell me, did you feel less sad I played it for you?“
I stop and think for a second. “Yeah, I think so.”
“Point made.“ He declares, leaving me to nod in amusement. “Now, tell me what that ‘a lot’ is.“
So, I do. I tell him everything, from how my boyfriend is cheating on me to how my mother thinks I’m a complete failure. He listens carefully, paying close attention to everything I’m saying. I catch myself laughing a few times while I retell the recent upsetting events.
Must be that music.
“So, you broke up?“ He asks once I end my monologue with a sigh
I shake my head disappointedly, “Not yet. I still haven’t pulled the plug. I don’t know what to say.”
He holds out his hand to me, “May I be of assistance?”
I look at his hand then at him and contemplate for only a second before deciding ‘what the hell’ and handing over my phone after unlocking it. The screen displays my boyfriend’s chat so Corpse just types away what he has in mind. Before pressing ‘send’, he hands the phone back to me. “Proofread it.”
‘Dear Marcus, this is one of your girlfriends speaking. Yes, one of them. You think I’m not onto what you’re doing, you little shit? Well, to your dismay, I am. And so, I discontinue this relation between us. That word might have been too long for your IQ so let me rephrase: We are over. Finished. Hope your other girlfriends wake up too, unless they are already in the know, of course. Love, but really hate, Y/N‘
I was never aware this level of sass even existed.
I add a smiling emoji and send the message, sighing in relief. “I can check that off my to-do list now.”
We both lean back on the couch, looking up at the ceiling. A moment of comfortable silence takes over, leaving us both wandering in our own heads.
“Hey, um, I wanted to do this when I first moved in, but then I met your boyfriend and I took the hint. Now that you’re single, would you want to...“ he sounds a bit uncertain but continues regardless, “It’s ridiculous cause I don’t really like the idea of going out, but maybe we could order take-out...“
“Are you circling around asking me on an at-home date?“ I am surprised by how unbothered I manage to sound while I’m squealing on the inside. It’s fascinating how quickly a person can flip someone’s day around. Turns out it wasn’t the music at all. It was him that had the positive effect on mine.
Out of the corner of my eye I catch his face turn red and have to contain my laughter. The grin can’t be tamed though, especially not when he says, “Yes.”
Internally squealing, I launch myself from the couch, standing up straight in front of him. “Thai. My usual order is on the sticky note on the fridge. But first,” I offer him my hand, “I need to find out if a person can even dance to that ridiculous music.” At his amusement, my grin widens, “May I have this dance?”
He laughs that adorable laugh of his I’ve only heard through the layer of a wooden door. It’s even cuter when there’s nothing between me and its source. The source is cute too, not gonna lie.
With a shake of his head which is most likely disbelief, he takes the hand I’ve offered him, saying: “And you call me a dork.” 
@susceptible-but-siriusexual  @simonsbluee  @save-the-sky  @hacker-ghost  @itsminniekat  @bi-andready-tocry  @imtiredaffff  @jazzkaurtheglorious  @hereforbeebo  @fandomgirl17  @chrysanthykios  @maehemscorpyus  @loraleiix  @letsloveimagines  @annshit  @i-cant-choose-a-username-help  @enigmaticmaze
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hmspogue · 3 years ago
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Outer Banks season 2 Official Trailer shot-by-shot rundown
A comprehensive post where I scream about analyze the entire trailer frame by frame for clues, theories, and plot. Just my own opinions and general tin foil-hatting
These are screenshots from Netflix’s trailer for Outer Banks season 2. I do not claim or own any of these.
note: this post is tagged as a long post if you wish to avoid having to scroll until your thumbs break.
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“My old man used to tell me, ‘it’s best to never say you’ve hit rock bottom’.”
(Putting all of these shots together since they’re scenes we already know but-) Holy shit, okay let’s just....start off like this I guess, damn.
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“'Trust me’, he said...”
Kiara looking back and forth between the boys like this really just feeds the headcanon I have that her form of grief this season is going to be her trying to hold it together for their sakes (and eventually just snapping).
JJ just looks fucking furious someone give these kids a hug? I already know this scene is going to ruin me.
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“You can always go...”
JJ back working at the hotel. He looks literally so angry again in this scene I could see him self destructing at work and losing his job? (Please do not be isolating yourself you beautiful son of a bitch even though I know you’re going to).
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Pope in the Twinkie (costuming wise they all are in warmer looking clothes for some of the shots, so just confirming it’s a little bit into the school year when this all takes place).
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“Lower”
Big John was real big into pep talks, I see. (seriously can you imagine Big John having this conversation with like 8 year old John B after he fucking dropped his ice cream cone or some shit I shouldn’t be laughing).
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I’m just-
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These poor kids, I wanna know how the police all the way down in the Bahama’s knew about them?
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Their calves....
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“RUN!”
Are going to be so fucking jacked by the end of this season I stg.
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Fuck you.
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“The gold from the Royal Merchant....it’s here.”
For a while, I had thought that maybe they didn’t even make it to the Bahama’s at the front of the season and ended there (because everyone had been filming in there). But I guess they’re going to be making two trips.
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If I were a bird from this POV I’d shit right on that house no questions asked.
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oooooh ho hokay. Just so we’re clear. Ward Cameron not only get away with murder and about two dozen other felonies, but-
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“Half a billion.”
HE STILL FINDS THE GOLD IN THE CRAIN HOUSE AND GETS TO KEEP IT?
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Not the polo with the snap back, I just know this man has a playlist called Sad Boi Hours that is just Juice WRLD’s top 5 songs on Spotify and he tells his friends they wouldn’t know the underground artists he listens to.
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Sh, you have lost screaming privileges. Go inside and take a nap maybe.
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“John B, we are fugitives in a foreign country.”
So, previously, I was talking about how I was confused how they would still be trying to find him is everyone thought he was dead, but here the wanted poster clearly says “presumed lost at sea”. I think that will be interesting to see how the Pogues all interpret that. 
Especially because they already had a memorial for John B and everything, I wonder if there will be any part of the Pogues holding out hope that they both could still be out there OUCH.
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I’m going to circle back to this, but it looks like John B and Sarah are going to get separated for a little while in this man hunt, I could see my idiot himbo son trying to sacrifice himself so Sarah can get away but in reality just....stranding her.
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“Promise me you won’t do anything stupid?”
Oh, sweetie....
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“Well, Sarah Cameron, I do stupid things all the time without realizing it.”
The volume of his self awareness is astronomical. sir, that is your whole character summed up in your own words.
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GOD, IT’S ME AGAIN. PLEASE LET THEM LEAN INTO COMPLETE HIMBO JOHN B THIS SEASON I’LL DO ANYTHING-
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nyyooooOOOOOOOOOOOOM-
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“Hold on!”
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The complete abject terror I would feel having John Booker Routledge driving get-away and then saying the words “Hold on” while reaching fro the gear shift? The english language fails me. 
Sarah, bestie, I’m so sorry.
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I just wanna know-
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what the plan or objective was in this situation. What was the reason for being this dramatic.
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Rest in piss, bozo <3
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“Ward’s still out there...”
Okay, same conversation they were having as before. I wonder what makes them decide they need to get back to the OBX for this tho.
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“I can clear my name. This can all be over in one shot.”
It looks like Topper watching this but way more concerningly, correct me if I’m wrong but this 100% looks like....John B gets caught. And the DEATH PENALTY?! He did have a mug shot for the fliers in s1 and the one above but he was never brought in? Plus he just looks super dirty and dishevled in this one so I-
Jail break anyone?
I also still want to know if they’re going to go with a Topper redemption arc this season. like, does he know more than he should just from being around Rafe and his big fat mouth? Is he going to help out the Pogues even if it’s just for Sarah?
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This shot just suddenly made me really sad. The thought of this all started because Big John left one last thing for his son to find, his literal life’s work. And when it all started, it was just a fun adventure John B and his best friends were going on together and having fun with. Then it all got dragged to absolute shit and turned into what it did, including the remaining 3 Pogues thinking that this treasure hunt took their two best friends away from them. And it’s nothing like Big John intended it to be.
Why my eyes wet?
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Now we’re edging into what I was talking about earlier with John B and Sarah getting separated.
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“If you think there is anything I wouldn’t do...”
Once again, John B is no where to be found. Also, just in case y’all didn’t already know or forgot Ward is an actual psychopath.
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I believe this one of the new character, played by Jontavious Johnson (Stubbs). Based on the voice over it lowkey sounds like they’re implying Ward maybe hired Stubbs and Cleo to find and bring Sarah back. My theory would be I bet they do go to retrieve her, but she somehow convinces them that it would be more beneficial for them in the end to be on the Pogue’s side instead.
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Miss Girl you gotta be keeping your head on a SWIVEL. Especially when you’re a FUGITIVE of the LAW-
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“...you haven’t been paying attention.”
My guy, who are you clarifying this for?
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It’s what you deserve for monologuing.
in all seriousness, the idea of them coming to face to face with Ward in Nassau after thinking they finally escaped him is genuinely terrifying.
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“SARAH!”
It kind of looks like they’re either hiding their faces or covering their noses? I don’t know maybe it was from some tactic to get away from Ward.
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What did I literally jsut say about yelling privileges, you unhinged mother fucker?
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“I’m calling the shots now. I’m driving.”
The following progression of scenes made me actually snort-
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“I can’t drive stick.”
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PLEASE THE FINGER GUNS LAUNCHED ME INTO ORBIT I LOVE THEM, YOUR HONOR.
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Alright, so now it looks like we’re in Charleston. This is the same scene with Heyward’s truck that got leaked from BTS (read: JJ and Kie shoulder touch).
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One of the main things that stuck out to me in the following scenes which, you will see, is it lowkey looks like Pope is kind of heading up this part of the operation, or even going in alone? The following clips are just very Pope focused. 
I don’t know what it means, it’s just an observation.
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“John B was not the only one that Ward double-crossed.”
LIMBRY-
Bro, we have been hearing about this woman for literal months and I just have....so many questions? 
Who the hell is she? How is she connected to Ward? Why is she in South Carolina instead of the OBX? How do the Pogues even learn about her and how to track her down? How is she meant to “help” them? GAH I JUST WANNA KNOOOW. I already know I don’t trust her though and no I will not be offering up supporting evidence.
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Sir, that is my son please unhand him.
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“I think you know what I want.”
.......no? But feel....free to explain yourself?
The print on the paper is the same one that’s on the ceiling tiles in the following scene. Obviously, with a key on it that most likely goes to the place a few shots from now.
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Hell yeah, son, let’s get SLEUTHING.
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“The treasure belongs to the Pogues.”
DAMN STRAIGHT.
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Bestie’s I’m not going to lie, I stared at this frame for a solid 10 minuets and I have no idea what it says on there I’m sorry. Someone in the comments is welcome to enlighten us.
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“We gotta find it first.”
I can’t tell if that’s just dirt or if he hurt his head? But he look GOOD right now for one thing. For another, same outfit as the one in the Twinkie from the beginning of the trailer.
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Look at her. LooK AT HER! LOOK! AT! HER! I MISSED HER SO MUCH even in that damn smiley face top that continues to haunt my waking hours she is in it so much and it stresses me out for literally no good reason I’m sorry-
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I could literally cry right now and I think that speaks volumes to how little we actually see him genuinely happy. Have I mentioned how much I love that red hat?
Also, probably not that important, but this is not from the same scene as the shots of Pope and Kiara were. This is from the next one-
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“Woogity-woogity?”
“Give me some woogity, baby!”
Yeah, this pushed me over the fucking edge, the way that they’re actually happy and laughing? The fact that they kept woogity-woogity and made it A Thing? Yes.
I am, however, going to be intentionally ignoring what appears to be the very intentional stagingof having such an obvious space between where Kiara and Pope are sitting adn where JJ sits, even including the level they’re sitting on because I don’t have the emotional capacity to face those implications right now. Thank you for your time.
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Yes yeeeeEEEEEESSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!
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GIVE ME ALL OF THE SCENES OF THEM ACTUALLY GETTING TO BE TEENAGERS AND JUST BREATHE AND LAUGH AND HAVE A GOOD TIME AND NOT BE RUNNING FOR THEIR FUCKING LIVES!!!!!!!!!!!
before Rafe comes in and literally starts shooting because they can’t breathe for more than 7 seconds but we’ll....get to that.
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They refer to Sarah as a Pogue this season or I burn Netflix to the ground. Your move, Jonas.
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50 bucks says John B is driving the Twinkie again for the first time since being back.
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I deadass think the Pogues JUST got Sarah and John B back and they’re just having the time of their life. Kie was in her smiley face outfit when Pope was in this one a few clips ago, and I still hold to the belief that that one still they released of JJ and Kie hopping over a fence is the Pogue reunion so-
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Ward? I have no idea what he’s looking at behind the wall paper and I’ll be so honest I don’t care my eyes are only seeing Pogue content right now.
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“This is a map of the whole island.”
This fit, when will John B learn how to operate buttons, stay tuned for season 5. Also my previous theory of this being their reunion outfits and stuff because Pope is in the back in the same jacket as before.
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The plot thickens and so has JJ’s hair, Rudy drop the shampoo brand.
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Please, dear God, tell me they’re back in the sex church. For @jiaaraa sake.
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Kiara, your Madison is showing.
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Okay, I really did try but all I can make out is Something to the tomb begin something something.
You’re welcome.
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I am no expert but I do not believe boats operate on land.
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John B looks like he is in the same outfit here that is in his mug shot we saw on the TV screen so I have a sneaking suspicion this is where he gets caught. 
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“John B is back-”
Once again with the damn sexual tension that’s always between Barry and Rafe in every scene they do are we about to kiss right now?
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“-it’s him or me.”
First of all, no.
Second of all, I’m just....so very confused about this time line this season. It kind of looks like Ward and Rafe follow and find Sarah and John B in Nassau (unless those scenes by the truck were actually back in the OBX). So did they....go to Nassau, then just come right back when they did? I’m just confused.
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Put that thing back where it came from or so help me.
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Literally when will you stop at this point I am begging you. 
This looks like the same scene the Pogues were, ya know, literally just having a good time at so fuck me, I guess.
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Yeah, no, it’s going to be a no from me, I’m just going to pretend like I’m not seeing this and moving on.
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I have simply no idea what is going on here or who that is on the bike but maybe JJ? Maybe Luke even? I think that’s JJ’s bike. 
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The sewer scene. The SEWER SCENE-
For months sicne that tiktok leaked this damn scene has been genuinely all I could think about. So (obviously) it seems like they’re sending Kie down into the sewer to go do seomthing and things go horribly, horribly wrong. 
If you haven’t seen the tiktok, essentially all it was was JJ and Pope screaming and trying to lift up the man hole cover while Kie is begging for them to hurry from inside. I’m cheating a little bit as this isn’t a shot from the trailer but this picture was posted and it’s from the same scene.
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I’ll just....leave this here. Back to the trailer shots.
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Nice. Also, same shirt as mugshot.
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Hey, um, what? 
Kiara’s car, she’s driving, I can’t tell who’s in the back seat or the front.
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Holy God what is going on and how can I as an audience member put a stop to it?
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So, same scene as we will see and was in the teaser but, for some reason, they’re all jumping off of a giant ass boat into the little life raft where it looks like JJ gets hurt later but don’t you worry we’re getting to that.
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JJ AND KIARA WITH THE POGUE HANDSHAKE JJ AND KIARA WITH THE POGUE HANDSHAKE THEY BOTH LOOK SO DAMN GOOD AND THEIR LITTLE SMILES SPARE ME-
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Cleo 🥵
I’m so excited to see her arc and what it brings this season you guys have no idea.
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Please for the love of God be about to get Ward Cameron’s ass like he deserves literally punt him into jail right from Tanny Hill.
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Sarah at My Druther’s with what looks like a bloody bandage on her side? Same outfit she’s wearing when they’re running from the police on the beach and she has the bandage there too so. Interesting. 
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Topper hugging who I’m pretty sure is Sarah, being a general douche because he’s clearly looking at John B like 😏 
Clips like these serve to remind me just how many of my worldly posessions I would gladly give up to be able to punch Topper Thorton in the throat one time. 
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I think this is Cleo jumping off the boat with Pope after John B and Sarah. 
Absolutely busting a lung at Pope’s form in this one.
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John B and Sarah waiting in the life raft, still Cleo and Pope coming after them. The obvious next question is where are JJ and Kiara. The scene I’m sure you all have been waiting for is coming up and clearly takes place in the life raft as well.
So, I really think JJ and Kie get left for last, something horrible happens as they’re trying to jump (my head instantly goes to JJ maybe like pushing Kie out of the way and getting hit on the head instead or even just some accident). 
And, oh my GOD a scene of him falling off the boat after it happens and Kiara diving in after him immediately, having to desperatly try to stop him from sinkingand get to the life raft holy shit-
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Girl CATCH HIM?????
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Because why wouldn’t this be Rafe’s fault. Part of me wonders if this isn’t related to JJ being hurt.
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I am going to try and unpack this as calmly as possible because behind my computer screen I am vibrating at a frequency that could shatter glass but respectfully.
WHAT IN THE FUCK IS TIAUEWFHLAILA
Okay, so scene wise, JJ’s hit his head somehow (probably while he was jumping with Kiara) it looks like and now they’re back on the raft. 
In my opinion, this is either:
A) JJ is in really, really bad condition after getting hurt in the jump and they’re not sure he’s going to make it. So this is a “Please stay with me, stay awake, please don’t die” hug OR
B) They very narrowly just avoided a deadly situation (my first thought is JJ hits his head while jumping, passes out in the water, maybe almost drowns but Kie and the others get him onto the life raft in time) and this is more of a “Oh my God, you’re okay, you’re safe now, we’re okay” hug. 
I honestly lean more to the second one based on the little bit of Sarah’s face we saw in the background. To me, it almost looked like she was smiling thru tears, which, fits way more with the second option than the first. 
Anyways. Moving on before I burst a lung again.
(also, before anyone comes at me, no, I’m not happy JJ is hurt, obviously.  
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(Once again, arrest outfits). You can still see the bandage but it looks like Sarah’s limping now too so...good Lord give the girl a break maybe?
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Everything in this trailer just went to shit so fast I think I have whip lash, can we go back to the Pogues hanging out and being happy now pkease I liked those scenes.
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“I get it. You guys are scared.”
“No.”
She’s cute but, uh, hello sewer scene outfits. Seems like them planning to do whatever the hell they were going to do in the sewers but the boys are starting to get cold feet as maybe they should but hind sight is 20/20 I suppose.
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“It’s kind of cute.”
“I’m not scared.”
“You should’ve just led with that.”
I will never be able to express how much I adore Pogue banter and general dumbassery and I have a feeling this season will not be lacking in either department
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I high key don’t think these two are actually going to be there for this scene to go down but I’ll let it slide this time because-
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They do be kinda cute.
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It both feels like I’ve been waiting for this damn show for 3 years and also like I just watched season 1 last month explain that to me. 
Either way holy shit. I missed this dumb show and these dumb kids so much it physcially hurts and WE GET THEM BACK IN T-MINUS 16 DAYS.
Also. Where The Hell Is Wheezie Cameron And When Will She Have The Rights She Deserves.
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astaroth1357 · 4 years ago
Note
AYE requests briefly open you say? Then here ya go: MC (female or gn) turns into a child for a day courtsey of Solomon (maybe around 5) with the Brothers. I think it'd be adorable, what with finger painting on spell books and things, but there ya go!
The MC is Now Five Years Old, Thanks Solomon...
Oh boy…. A little kid in Hell sounds like a train wreck admittedly, but at least they'll have some pretty strong guardians right? I heard It'll Be Okay by SMLE & Helen Tess and decided that was JUST the feel this sort of request needed.
Intro:
Solomon really doesn't mess up spells often. He's been doing this for a while (at least as far as my headcanon is concerned) so he's gotten pretty damn good at magic over the years. It takes a looot to make him mess up. Like say, a natural disaster, an unexpected surprise… or a whole-ass MC getting knocked into what sigil he's using at just the wrong time. Yeah. That'll do it.
How in the world is he going to explain this to the brothers…?
Lucifer
His anger toward Solomon is quite severe… tempered only slightly by how utterly adorable kid!MC is. (Well all know he's got that soft spot for cute things 🤭) It reminds him so much of his brothers at that age…
The man basically reverts back to being Dad!Lucifer sooo fast.
He's the one tying their shoes, checking on them throughout the day, making sure they're not running with scissors… that sort of thing.
Weirdly enough he's not that bothered by it… In fact, his brothers find it a little unnerving just how at peace he seems when he's keeping track of kid!MC doing this or that… It's like he's just put on an old pair of gloves and found out they still fit.
Speaking of his brothers, Lucifer can't turn off "Parent Mode" so it starts spilling over to them too...
When he started telling Levi "It's bedtime" and used a napkin to wipe Beel's face for him in public, they decided to hold an informal intervention. They're grown demons now, damnit!! 😖
Mammon
The first thing kid!MC did when they saw Mammon was fling themselves at him while screaming "MAMMIE!!!" at the top of their lungs… Regardless of his confusion, the man could probably die happy now.
He only gripes a little bit about being saddled with babysitting duty… Because everybody knows he's not the babysitter now. He's the playmate.
"Mammie, I wanna play House!!" "I ain't playing House with ya, kid. How 'bout Tag?" "No way, you're too fast!"  "Hide'n Seek?" "Luci said we can't play that no more…" "Well don't hide in the oven again!" "You didn't find me!!" "That was the problem!!!"
Pretty much the Man-Child/Actual Child Duo. He's perfect for keeping up with them and they'll whine incessantly when they can't find him for too long...
Totally the brother to take them to the amusement park or really any of those super fun places kids love. He will be just as excited as they are to be there, too.
It's not uncommon to find Mammon passed out on a couch or something with an equally exhausted kid!MC sleeping on his back. The two can really wear each other out…
Leviathan
He's probably the least perturbed by this change. Sudden de-aging of characters is a pretty popular anime trope, after all...
He's not all that taken with kid!MC though to be honest… Largely because he's too worried about keeping his stuff out of their grubby mitts. 😖
"Levi, what's this?" "GAH! Don't touch that!! That's my limited edition Ultra☆Rainbow Witch figurine!!" "I wanna play with it, though!" "It's not a toy!!" "That's not fair! You have nothing but toys, Levi!! You need to share!!" "NO I DON'T!!!"
In those times where Lucifer forces him to share, Levi goes full neat-freak. He handles all the discs and games himself, everything gets practically sterilized, and kid!MC HAS to wash their hands before they touch ANYTHING (especially the game controllers). He ain't risking any random kid-gunk getting on his precious possessions… 😰
He does enjoy playing games with them well enough, at least. No one's going to pass up a game of Devil Kart after all!
Sometimes he'll let them win just to see how happy they get… Though, then they start getting a big head about it so he has to remind him who the actual gamer is with another string of losses... Sucks to suck, kid! 😌😏
Satan
… You know, five year-olds ask a lot of questions… A looot of questions…
"Satan, what's that?" "An umbrella. You use it so that rain doesn't get on you." "Where does rain come from?" "Evaporated water collects in the atmosphere and-" "Is rain like the sky peeing?" "...." "Satan? Does your face hurt?... Satan?"
Please Lord, they may not be on speaking terms, but someone has to have mercy on his patience...
In truth, Satan's kind of charmed by how curious kid!MC is, he just wished they'd listen more to his boring explanations…
"Satan? Why does everyone listen to Diavolo?" "Lord Diavolo is like a king to us demons." "Where's his crown?" "He doesn't wear a crown." "Oh… You don't wear a crown and people listen to you. Are you a king too?" "I mean, you're not wrong… 😏" "Satan, get back to work."
Eh, maybe having a little MC isn't all that bad. They don't lie, after all. 😌
Asmodeus
OMG he hasn't seen a child this cute since the twins were in diapers!!!!
If Mammon isn't around then Asmo takes over babysitting duties (like an actual babysitter) and he's more than happy to do it. It reminds of him of taking care of baby Belphie!
If kid!MC has any interest at all in makeup then he's happy to foster it. He won't give them the good stuff of course, but he'll show them how to do blush, eyes, lipstick, nail polish, whatever!
He also dabbles in a bit of facepaint so do they want to look like a kitty, panda, or dragon? He's got them covered.
Asmo just likes to let them be creative in all forms, really. He's going to be the one to break out the paint and markers and just the kid!MC go to town! (hopefully not on the walls…)
Takes pictures of whatever they draw, good or bad, and happily displays them to everyone. There's not a big enough fridge to hold all the art he's going to collect (and zealously protect).
Beelzebub
Playmate #2 right after Mammon, but he's the less excitable, more responsible one.
"Beel! Beel! Watch me jump off this slide!!" 😰 "Please don't… You could hurt yourself… You slide down slides. That's why they're called that." "*GASP*... That's right! You're a genius!!" *sits back down* "Not really, but thank you." 😊 *waits for them at the bottom*
If the MC is with Beel, they're doing one of two things. Either they're playing together or gorging themselves on junk food.
Beel actually likes "domestic" games like House and Tea Party because it's an excuse to raid the kitchen. He'll play "house-husband" all day as long as he gets to actually eat at every imaginary dinnertime.
He'll play active games too, of course. Especially action-oriented ones like "Cops and Robbers" or Superheros. No one's better at roughhousing than Beel! Though he'll go easy on them, cause they're small and all… 😅
Everyone can always tell when Beel's in charge of them because he carries them around on his shoulders. He's the tallest one of the family so it's like getting to be a giant!
Belphegor
Belphie was introduced to kid!MC when they started crying during one of his naps. They couldn't wake him and they thought he was dead… Followed directly by them declaring their tears were magic when they noticed his eyes opened.
He proceeded to close his eyes again and purposely play dead just to get them all worried again. It was the smile creeping up onto his face that eventually gave him away… 😏
He likes to play with kid!MC and Beel but he's not going to let it get in the way of his nap schedule or anything. When they play "Knights" he gets to take the role of the world's laziest dragon… Rawr.
Kid!MC will only settle down for naptime if Belphie joins too since he'll read them a book like he used to do with Lilith.
Satan's usually the go-to guy for storytime, but Belphie's a close second (largely because he just imitates what he remembers Lucifer doing for him, voices and all 🤭).
He deals with their myriad of questions by just making shit up and pretending he knows what he's talking about. It's around the time that he told them that little men live inside the freezer and shave ice cubes to keep things cold that Lucifer started getting on his case about it… Killjoy. 🙄
3K notes · View notes
mellohidisc · 4 years ago
Text
╰ ☆ ╮𝐠𝐞𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞 - discord au ✰⋆
1.2k 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚍𝚜 | 𝚜𝚕𝚒𝚌𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝚕𝚒𝚏𝚎, 𝚏𝚕𝚞𝚏𝚏
𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭: "𝘉𝘢𝘣𝘦, 𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘰𝘳𝘨𝘢𝘯𝘪𝘻𝘦𝘥 𝘐 𝘢𝘮." // "𝘓𝘢𝘴𝘵 𝘯𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘩𝘦 𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘧𝘳𝘶𝘪𝘵 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘱𝘴 𝘣𝘺 𝘤𝘰𝘭𝘰𝘶𝘳."
𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖒𝖊𝖘: 5/5 𝘧𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘭 𝘣𝘰𝘺𝘴 || 𝘺/𝘯 & 𝘥𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮 𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘱
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I plopped my bag on my unmade and definitely in need of a wash bedsheets. I looked down on it, scrunching my nose seeing blemish marks upon my white sheets. Don’t ask me what it is, maybe dirt? Marker? Maybe the last drops of a monster energy drink that I chucked across my room into the garbage can. I’m not too sure what exactly it is to be quite honest. I’ve been so busy and tired, and the state of my bedroom defiantly showed it. University is hard, especially when it isn’t your only responsibility. With all the homework, my job and trying to keep my long-distance relationship above water it is especially hard.
But for once, the world was on my side. It was the weekend, I didnt have work and nothing due soon for school. I could get a rest, fucking finally. I walked my self over to my desk, and sat down in the chair. Unlike George and his streamer friends with these super expensive duel monitor and pc set up bullshit, I just had my laptop, and fuck Dream for making fun of me for it. I unfolded it, pressing the power on button. I watched as it slowly booted up.
Okay, maybe Dream is right but still fuck him.
I refuse to give that man the satisfaction of saying "I told you so." After waiting for a few to let it boot up all the way, I clicked through onto discord.
sex havers and y/n.
fucking idiots, all five of them.
looking over to the voice channels i saw them all in vc 2. I pondered, and questioned if I was mentally stable enough to listen to karl and quackity scream into my ear. I knew the answer was no but...oh, my finger slipped.
"y/n!" karl yelped with excitement. I felt a second wind rip through my body. that was the effect these boys had on you, if you think you're tired you're actually not.
"hi george." i said brightly, knowing it would offend karl greatly.
"hi hun." he said shortly, taking me off guard. i could hear him slamming on his keyboard.
"what are you playing?" i asked, going to click on his discord profile to find out.
"phasmaphobia, come save me from karl. he's been screaming the whole time in the lobby."
"hell no babe, you're on your own im sorry."
"for once, i agree with them." dream chimed in, making me roll my eyes and make a fake gagging noise at him.
dream has one of the kindest hearts i know of. we just fucked around with each other, but we could never seriously hate each other. he was like a brother to me, and no not one of those weird fucked up "i have a crush on my boyfriends best friend" things, but just a genuine great friend.
my thoughts we're interrupted by a loud scream from sapnap, and quackity and karl yelling run. I winced, smashing the volume down button on my laptop.
"alright nope! no no im done! i am closing the game." george said frantically, you laughed as you watched his discord status change.
"awe did the ghostie boy scare you?" i tease gently, testing the waters. with george sometimes, i could never tell when the teasing would be too much.
before he could anwser, i saw karls face appear on my computer screen making me giggle. he had the camera zoomed all the way into his face, staring dead into the camera.
"george..." he growled lowly, making you laugh.
"yes karl?" george asked innocently.
"SCREW YOU!"
the whole call bursted into laughter, i watched my screen go from only karl to karl and quackity.
oh dear god...
anytime alex has his camera on we knew we were in for it.
i watched quackity as he grabbed a stuffed pillow from behind him, and a pair of scissors off his desk.
"george listen- listen to me. this pillow-" he waved it in front of the camera.
"this is you. now this is a pair of scissors." he proceeded to wave them in front of the camera also.
"now george, i want you to turn your camera on for me."
george groaned in protest.
"why-"
"SHUT UP AND DO IT!" quackity yelled, i whined at him to shut the hell up.
I watched the screen grow again into three cameras on, butterflies filling my stomach as I saw george's smile. sometimes it just feels so surreal to me, how he gave me the time of the day really. when I first meet him he didn't seem like the type to date anyone, and if he did he would have been the type to forget he was dating someone and not answer for days.
yet he proved me wrong.
being with george has been one of the best relationships i've been in. he was kind and caring, and yeah he had a hard times being comforting but he showed his compassion in other ways. whether it be a meme he made himself to make me laugh, or a something as small as sending me a cat video link.
"y/n! turn on your camera." sapnap demanded, making you frown your brows.
"what! why? since when did you have yours on sap?"
"well if you weren't day dreaming ab mr gog mister over here you would have saw me put it on."
I rolled your eyes. I scanned my bedroom and made a face. It is a fucking mess in here.
"okay but dream doesn't have his on." i point out, knowing that wasn't going to help me.
"yeah thats because its dream." karl retorted.
"turn it on."
"turn it on."
"turn it on."
The four of them stared to chant, as dream laughed in the background.
"I fucking hate you guys." I groaned, hitting the camera button on discord.
Quackity placed the bear and scissors down, standing up out of his seat to lean closer to the computer screen.
"holy shit y/n! did a hurricane come through your room or something?" he laughed, half jokingly.
the boys knew they couldn't genuinely say shit, after all they are boys.
"oh fuck off. i would love to see your bedroom."
"i guess this makes me the organized one in the relationship." george says proudly, gleaming with joy.
the boys and i laughed at him, watching his mouth slowly open wide and a look of disbelief spreading across his face.
"what! why are you laughing?"
"george, you and i both know you are the least organized person in the world." dream told him.
i giggled watching georges reactions to their comments. his mannerisms were apart of his humor, the hand gestures and the facial expressions.
"no okay no guys please. listen-"
"guys pleaseeee" sapnap whinned mockingly, sending us all into laughter.
"screw off! babe tell them how organized i am!" he yelled through a laugh.
my eyes widened, fuck. you tried quickly to think of a lie to make him look stupid but good at the same time.
"last night he ate his fruit loops by color." i said, nodding trying to sell it.
"HES FUCKING COLOR BLIND YOU LIAR!" dream yelled loudly.
i covered my mouth from laughing so hard. holy shit. thank god i dont have anything to do tomorrow its going to be a long night.
240 notes · View notes
lord-of-gender · 4 years ago
Text
A Small Problem - Part 2
Once again my inspiration comes from @deyageka
Word count: 1960
Syndicate Meeting
"Perhaps if we-" Phil was saying as Ranboo came into the meeting room, with Tommy right at his heels. It had been two months since they originally found him in the prison and Ranboo had volunteered to watch him that day, completely forgetting about the meeting. He knew he didn't have to come, but it was a good excuse to finally tell them about Tommy.
"Hi, sorry I'm late," Ranboo said awkwardly, knowing the other explanation that he would have to give.
"Hallo!" Tommy said cheerily, moving to stand next to Ranboo, some paper and coloring pigments in his arms.
"What the actual fuck," Phil said, he did a double take when he saw Tommy.
"Heh!?" Techno exclaimed, of all the things he expected, a young Tommy was not on the list. "How?! I thought you said he was dead."
"No, no, no, don't tell me that's Tommy," Niki said, shaking her head.
"Yes, he did die, but Dream revived him," Ranboo said, shifting from foot to foot, "I think that's what happened. Sam found him in the prison like this."
"So that's why you asked me, Tommy couldn't keep his mouth shut," Phil muttered, talking about when Ranboo asked about the old Empire. He knew Ghostbur wouldn't have remembered it, or else he would have mentioned it to him.
"I'm the Empire-er," Tommy went up to Techhno and held up a wooden sword, he also wore the paper crown he made. "Like you."
"Be quiet," Techno growled, Tommy backed away, this wasn't the Technoblade he remembered. The boy ran over to Ranboo and buried his head in his shirt. Ranboo could feel his shirt start to get wet as Tommy started to cry. What had he done wrong? Why was Techno mad at him?
"Oh my gosh, Tommy are you okay," Ranboo knelt down to Tommy's level, taking out a cloth so he wouldn't get wet from the boy's tears.
"Tech-no does-n't like me," Tommy sobbed, sniffling between words.
"Oh, I'm sure that's not true," Ranboo said, he looked back at Phil and Niki, silently asking them for help. "He's just surprised to see you."
"I just want Wilbur," Tommy said, his cries starting to die down and reduce to hiccups. "Sam pwomised he would find him."
"He doesn't know," Phil asked, at this age Tommy had idolized Techno and Wilbur. He followed Techno around everywhere and wanted to know everything about him.
"Know, what," Tommy sniffed, using his sleeve to wipe off mucus. "What don't I know?"
"A few months ago," Phil came over and crouched in front of Tommy. "Something happened and-"
"It might be better to find Gho-Wilbur first to tell him," Techno said, the voices had been telling him one of two things. To protect Tommy as all costs, or to kill Tommy for being an orphan. "Who's watching him? Or is he an orphan?"
"I- uh- Sam is mainly taking care of him, so no, he's not an orphan," Ranboo stuttered, knowing a bit of Techno's history with orphans.
"I mean last time I checked I wasn't fucking dead," Phil chuckled, Niki started giggling.
"So what's the plan for today," Ranboo asked, he picked up Tommy as the boy kept pulling on his shirt.
"We're going to do some recon on the Egg," Techno said, "Phil received an invitation to some banquet so we're going to check it out beforehand."
"So I probably shouldn't have brought him," Ranboo said, talking about Tommy as he started to nod off.
"Can't we take him to Snowchester," Phil said, subtly asking if Tommy could stay with Micheal.
"I don't know, Tubbo's not going to be there for a while. He and Jack are busy doing something," Ranboo didn't know what it was there were doing, but it seemed important to Tubbo. And he didn't want Sam to get mad at him for leaving Tommy alone for a little bit.
"He'll be fine alone," Phil said, "We used to do that all the time when he was originally this age."
"You are a terrible parent," Ranboo said.
"Okay mate," Phil rolled his eyes, "you can't be speaking here. Especially not about that shit."
"I wanna stay here," Tommy piped in.
"We could talk to Puffy on our way," Techno said.
"Auntie Puffy!" Tommy said excitedly, bouncing in Ranboo's arms. At the mention of Puffy he had brightened up and got energetic again.
"I guess we have our answer then," Niki laughed.
"Are you good to stay here by yourself for a bit," Ranboo asked. Tommy shook his head and pointed at Niki, she seemed nice.
"Huh, he didn't mind staying home when I took care of him," Phil said.
"Well we think he might have vague memories of what happened in his past," Ranboo lowered his voice and put Tommy down to let him walk over to Niki. "Sometimes he'll just freeze when coming near lava or even a Nether Portal. We've noticed that most of the time he hates being alone."
"I want to stay wif you," Tommy said to Niki.
"I don't know, Puffy and I don't have the greatest history," Niki said, then looked down at Tommy's face as he started to pout. "But I can't say no to you. You are absolutely adorable. Okay, just this once."
"Go now," Tommy waved at them as he sat in the chair next to Niki.
"He does that alot," Ranboo chuckled, "see you later, Tommy."
"Okay Ranboo," Tommy pulled out Clementine from his inventory and made airplane noises as he moved it in the air. Ranboo, Techno, and Philza left the meeting room as Niki laughed with Tommy.
"I haven't seen him like that since," Phil started but trailed off.
"Well of course not, he's a little kid again," Ranboo said.
"Pogtopia," Techno finished for Phil, "he has that light in his eyes again. I remember when we were building that big obnoxious tower, but it made him happy."
"How long had Tommy been with you," Ranboo asked.
"I found him when he was four or five," Phil said, "Wilbur is my only biological son. I adopted Tubbo when he was five as well."
"It's still weird seeing Tommy at that age again," Techno said.
"Yeah, I can't imagine how much of a shock it was when I brought him in there," Ranboo said, he should have thought about it beforehand.
"Oh we were surprised for sure," Philza laughed.
After the trip through the Nether to the community portal they found Bad, Ant, and Punz waiting right outside of the portal. How were they supposed to tell Puffy now?
"Hello, Philza," Punz said, "I didn't think you'd only have two people coming with you."
"Our fourth member is on her way," Techno said, "don't try and threaten us. We have all the power here."
"Ranboo, go talk to Puffy," Phil whispered to him. "Gentlemen, there's no need to fight. We were just curious about the meaning of this invitation I received."
"Ah yes, the banquet," Ant said, "the egg has realized it over stepped a bit, so we've been cleaning up some of the vines and are holding a festival of sorts as a formal apology to the server. You are all invited, we just wanted Phil as a guest of honor."
"Well I'm pretty sure the last time I went to a festival, it didn't turn out well," Techno chuckled, but the voices had raised a good question. Why Phil?
"We swear it won't end like those," Bad said, "I mean we aren't L'Manburg after all."
"Maybe Techno would be more convinced if we saw this change ourselves," Phil said as he spotted Puffy coming towards them, then messaged Niki. Ranboo rejoined the group.
"Of course," Bad said turning around, allowing Puffy to go around them then enter the Nether.
"So uh, where's Skeppy," Ranboo asked, he'd heard from Sam that he had also been infected. "I haven't seen him around recently."
"We don't know," Punz said, "haven't seen him in a while."
"So when you say everyone is invited, who does this include," Phil asked, if they invited the whole server this could be a problem. Tommy couldn't just be left alone for a few hours, but the last thing they wanted was to take him near the Egg.
"Well everyone, except for Dream of course," Bad said, "but alot have said they'll be busy and unable to make it." They walked along the prime path where huge vines used to be, it appeared that they had been cleaned up. Soon Niki caught up with then.
"So what's going on," She asked, holding a cheerful expression to disguise the fact they were hiding something.
"We were just telling them about the banquet," Bad said, "you're coming, right Niki?"
"Of course, I wouldn't miss it," She said.
Something about the banquet and how similar it was to the L'Manburg festivals didn't sit right with Techno. To make matters worse he had just received a message from Quackity.
"I have to do something, you guys can fill me in when we get back," Techno said, he noticed Phil's questioning expression. "Don't worry it has nothing to do with my favor."
"See you later Techno," Ranboo said, he had been wondering the same thing but didn't want to say anything.
"Yeah, I'll say hi to the kid for you," Techno said. It was a throw away comment, but it seemed to interest Bad.
"Kid?" He asked, after checking that Techno was out of hearing range Ranboo responded with: "Yeah, me and Tubbo adopted."
"Oh, you mean Michael," Bad said, he'd heard about the young zombie piglin.
"We were going to Snowchester afterwards," Phil said, easily going along with Ranboo's lie.
"Yeah! You know, every member is important," Niki said, she had no idea who they were talking about, but she could use what they had said to play along.
“Well we should probably let you guys do that,” Bad said, he wasn’t sure if it was time to show them the Egg. No, it wasn’t, they had enough evidence from them to go to the banquet.
“Yes, you’re right,” Ranboo was getting uneasy, he didn’t like anything about the Egg or the Eggpire.
“See you the 25th!”
251 notes · View notes
bwbatta · 4 years ago
Text
six - confessions
Abstract: Draco and you are just friends so doing him a favour and pretending to be his girlfriend wouldn’t effect your friendship right?
Pairing: Draco Malfoy x reader
Warnings: Swearing, slight angst
Word count: 2960
A/N: I’ve been waiting for this one, turn it upp! ...I won’t lie, i’ve been putting off writing this purely because I don’t want to stop writing this. Anyway, the final part is finally here and I’m so happy to be sharing it with you all! 
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Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist | Part 5
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Draco signed his name quickly and looked back at the letter he’d written. It was simple enough to get his point across, yet the repercussions from sending this could be huge. 
The blonde heir was adamant though. If this is what it took, then he would gladly accept whatever consequences came his way. He could figure it out, he always did. 
Taking a breath in to help stabilise his thoughts and nerves, he quickly put his quill down before he wrote anything else that wasn’t needed. Reading it through once more, he made sure his words were enough for now. 
Father,
I apologise for not responding sooner to your previous letter, I was at a loss for a while as to what to write.
I understand our family values and as much as I uphold them for our family’s benefit, my relationship or any of my relationships are my choice. Whilst she is not pureblood, she is not muggleborn either and both of her parents have magic, which is why I ask you to at the very least consider giving Y/N a chance.
With respect, I will not determine my relationship on your opinions, especially since you haven’t met her.
You understand there aren’t many things I would go against you on, but this is something I feel particularly strongly about. 
Regards, 
Draco
Nodding his head, he quickly folded the letter and attached it to his family’s owl. With a screech, the bird took off. 
All Draco could do now was wait.
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“Please?! You’re the best person at charms that I know, you would be my favourite person on earth?!”
“Blaise-”
“Y/N please, Flitwick might push for me to be kicked out of Hogwarts if I don’t pass this test”
You snorted unattractively as you walked down the corridor, arms riddled with books. On your way to the Herbology greenhouses for your afternoon lesson, you were blitzed by Blaise who had been trying to convince you for the last five minutes to help him write his essay which was due in a couple days time. 
Blaise and you had nearly made it into the greenhouses when Professor Sprout stopped him at the door.
“You’re not in my class today Mr Zabini, I suggest you get heading towards your own class before you’re late.”
The elder witch gave him a stern look to which he smiled at, trying to lower her strict exterior. 
“I just need to talk to Y/N about something really important really quickly, Professor. It’ll only take a minute?”
“No” she rolled her eyes at the boy, “you can do that in your own time.”
“But, Professor-”
“No buts Zabini-”
“Alright Blaise, I’ll do it” you finally caved, seeing as the boy would most likely be reduced to ash from Sprout’s harsh stare otherwise. 
“Astronomy tower, 8pm?”
“Wait-”
“Okay bye!”
Without another word he turned and rushed off back inside the castle, heading to whatever his next lesson was, leaving you partially annoyed, partially awkward at the look Sprout was now sending you.
“Inside” she cocked her head towards the doorway and with a defeated look you headed into the greenhouse. 
You hadn’t been back to the Astronomy tower, despite classes, since that fight between Draco and you and you weren’t too keen on returning. Blaise however, had given you no choice in the matter as you probably wouldn’t see him until that time you’d agreed to meet. This meant you’d have to suck up your anxieties about the tower and get over yourself. 
If only it were that easy.
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Your free period was rather quiet today you reckoned but you couldn’t put your finger on why it was so quiet? 
The twins weren’t around and neither were Harry and Ron, yet that was normal since you were studying in the library with Hermione. Though Hermione didn’t really talk much when you two studied, something still felt off.
Not to mention the other thing which was bothering you was how Blaise acted earlier? He was normally the most relaxed person you knew, but his earlier rushed and fretted actions also seemed wrong.
You snorted at the thought in your head; imagine if he was trying to set you back up with Draco at the astronomy tower later?!
Another sigh left your lips as you continued to try and figure out what else felt off. Hermione’s eyes darted from the essay she was writing to you sat opposite her. 
“Is there something bothering you?”
You met her stare awkwardly and shrugged slightly. 
“I don’t know, does something feel off to you?”
“What do you mean?”
“It’s too quiet, you know? I can’t put my finger on what it is though.”
“Maybe it’s because that blonde tumour isn't attached to your side anymore?!” Hermione snorted as she turned back to her work, leaving you staring at her with an unreadable expression. 
Ignoring the remark of how the witch had described Draco, she was right in the way that he did used to surprise you while you were studying. 
Was that it? You were missing him being near you?
You hadn’t really spoken to the Malfoy, only small comments in class when you were next to each other but apart from that, he wasn’t constantly next to you anymore and that bothered you. 
You had to admit you did like fake dating Draco, but that was over, it was a joke, a favour, nothing more. So why the hell would you accept anything to go back to him annoying you, him being at your side constantly, or his arm around you 90% of the time?
Then you froze.
You knew exactly why.
Holy shit, you loved him. Like actually loved him. 
Slowly starting to freak yourself out, you sat back in your chair as your mind whirred around that fact. 
He’s Draco. 
He’s one of your best friends and now everything was so messed up because he’s Draco.
Stubborn, bratty, arrogant Draco.
Who likes Draco?!
And then it hits you again. You do, you really really do. 
Because he’s Draco.
Because he cares about you and would do anything for you. Just like you’d do anything for him. He might be stubborn, but so are you. He might be bratty and spoilt because of his parents, but he actively spoils you just because he can. And he might be arrogant to everyone else, but you know how humble he could be and acts around you. His reaction after you opened your Christmas present proved that enough. 
Holy shit. 
These feelings are going to ruin whatever’s between you, friendship or not, because how the hell could you keep this to yourself? How the hell could you not tell him you loved him?
The only thing was... you were the second person to ask yourself that today. 
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Draco paced in the tower, a letter held tightly in his hand as he waited for you to show up. Guaranteed it wasn't 8pm yet, but he was still so anxious for when you did actually turn up. Were you going to turn up?
A lot of things had flown through his mind today, some putting him on edge as to whether his plan to get you back would work, yet nothing had made him as anxious as when the letter arrived from his father earlier that day.
It was slightly wrinkled now from how much he had fiddled with it in his hands and with a frown, Draco tucked it back into his pocket, forcing himself to take a long breath as he did so and run his hands nervously through his hair.
Not even a moment passed before he heard the door below slam shut and your footsteps approach. A brief flash of panic flew through his body like he’d been electrocuted, what if this was a bad idea? What if you didn’t want him like he wanted you and he would just look like a complete idiot?
All the thoughts in his head however vanished as soon as you reached the top step and your eyes locked on his. 
Neither of you said anything at first and the silence was almost deafening.
“Fucking Blaise,” you rolled your eyes at yourself. “Earlier I bet myself he’d do something like this.”
“It was actually my idea”
“...I see” 
“Surprised?” 
You snorted
“No.” You hid your grin at the look of offence present on his face, “I knew one of you would come up with something like this. I had my money on Blaise as he was the one I spoke to earlier. Despite how much you love being mysterious and complicated Draco, you’re like an open book to me.”
The wizard let out a snort, he had a feeling she would figure something was up. They really did know each other well.
The silence stilted in the air again and felt heavy despite the fresh air surrounding them. 
You looked down, avoiding the blue eyes that watched you. Despite being in love with him, you had no idea what to actually say to him. Luckily he took the lead.
“It was really stupid.”
You frowned, before you forced yourself to glance towards him, eyes catching on how he was looking at you.
“What was?”
“The fact we thought we could pretend and fake an entire relationship with no consequences.”
You didn’t say anything. 
“I mean let’s be honest,” Draco scoffed a laugh, “we really thought that everything would go back to how it was before? That was stupid. Also the fact that the whole ‘having a fake girlfriend’ thing wasn’t really working for me.”
He paused to assess your reaction for a moment before continuing on. 
“We were great as a fake couple, sure. We were also great at being friends, I mean... that was before I kissed you and fell in love with you.”
Your breath caught in your throat at the confession. A smile grew faintly on his face as he took in your reaction. After realising you weren’t going to bolt, he took a couple steps closer until he stood right before you, his toes almost touching your own. 
“This whole fake dating thing was so stupid in so many ways except for one; how it made me realise how much I genuinely want to be your boyfriend.”
Draco shrugged sightly like it was no big deal, but inside he had to remind his lungs to work.
Why hadn’t you said anything yet? Maybe because he can’t stop his mouth from talking? Should he stop talking? His mouth opened again before he could stop himself.
“I want you. I want us. But I want it for real, not some half-assed, pathetic excuse of relationship which is all just an act and makes us question where we stand with each other.” 
His voice lowered to a whisper but you heard him perfectly. 
“Draco... I want nothing more than to be with you.”
“You do?”
“Yes, but I can’t help the fact that I’m not a pureblood and your parents won’t accept me-”
“Wait, okay, hold on.”
Digging his hand into his pocket, he fished out the crumpled letter and attempted to flatten it out slightly. 
“I sent my father a letter in response the one you read the other day and I got this back earlier today. Just... just read it.”
He held the letter out at you with such a serious expression causing you to frown, you took it from him wondering what was in it. Opening the parchment, your eyes immediately flicked back to the blonde once more, only to find him watching your every movement.
“Draco,
I don’t believe you understand the seriousness of what you’re asking from your mother and I. You have a duty to this family to uphold and despite the notion that you wouldn’t disobey me with much, this is still a vital factor of those duties.
Nevertheless, you expressed your seriousness for this girl, coupled with your mother’s bickering about at least meeting her, I will give you one chance. We will meet her if she values the seriousness and significance of our values. If she does not however, then you will end whatever you have with her. 
You understand in the near future, things will change. You need to be as prepared as possible.
Regards,
Lucius Malfoy”
You read the letter once through, then twice, then once more. Your mind was in a flurry at the words, taking them in and the weight they held. Draco’s parents had agreed to give you a chance, however it came with a price and one you were in two minds about taking. 
On one hand, you could be with Draco and support him through whatever hell was coming your way, as long as you abided by their blood purity mania, which, if Harry was right, meant Voldemort. On the other hand, it meant not having the Malfoy boy in your life.
Your eyes finally left the words and flicked back up to meet Draco’s own. His expression was unreadable as he waited for your reaction.
“Well, that’s intense”
“You can’t really expect anything less from my father.”
“I gathered that.”
Your eyes landed on the elder Malfoy’s name once more and you bit your lip slightly. 
“I said once I would be willing to get mixed up in this for you, and I stand by it, Draco. I don’t know whatever's going to happen in the future but I know I want you by my side through it.”
“I can’t ask you to do that-“
“You’re not asking me, I’m telling you I want you and I’ll do whatever it takes to be at your side.”
“Y/N-”
“Draco, I love you, let me do this for you. I can play whoever your parents want me to be.”
Draco didn’t say anything more but stared at you with a half smile on his face. Your eyebrows knitted together as you caught sight of it, not really sure where the expression came from. Talking about faking your views on blood purity and Voldemort wasn’t really a cause for smiling.
“What?”
“Say it again?”
“Say what again?”
“You love me.”
You realised then. You’d told him you loved him in amidst all that but you hadn't even realised it. Well, that’s one way to admit it. 
“I love you,” you said with no hesitation as a smile grew on your own face. “I want you, for real. No fake relationship, just us.”
As quick as you’d finished speaking, Draco’s lips were on yours. It was chaotic, unscripted and messy, but it was real. 
Your hands slid to the back of his head, fingers burying themselves in his hair as his hands gripped your waist tightly, pressing you to him. He kissed you with such passion you swore your heart stopped for a split second.
How the hell had you both faked this for so long?!
Taking a break, he pulled away but rested his forehead on yours, not wanting too much distance. 
“If you’re all in Y/N, so am I. I’ll protect you with my life, you may’ve been my friend first, but you’re everything to me now.”
His lips pressed against yours again, much softer this time like he was trying to memorise and convince himself you were really there. That this was really happening.
“Draco Malfoy, I’m all in.”
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You were surprised the next day for two reasons.
One; for how many people had actually bet on Draco’s and your relationship. George got his five galleons back from Fred again after the news reached them. He happily took the money from his brother before lifting his glass to you from across the hall in thanks. 
Both Crabbe and Goyle owed Blaise 10 galleons, though you supposed he had an unfair advantage, (not that you’d tell the duo). 
But the second thing which surprised you was the letter you received at lunch from the headmaster himself. 
Dumbledore had barely even looked in your direction, let alone spoken to you personally, so the note you got from him asking to meet him in his office later spiked your anxiety. 
“I’m sure it’s nothing,” Hermione shrugged before lowering her voice to a whisper. “It’s probably something to do with the DA or Umbridge.”
“Hermione, I didn’t even think he knew I existed, now he’s asking me to come have a chat?”
“Just go, you’ll never know otherwise and you’ll keep fretting.”
The rest of your day passed quickly and you found yourself before the headmaster’s office later that evening. Taking another quick look at the note in your hand, scribbled at the bottom was a comment about him liking sherbet lemons which stuck out to you.
“Sherbet lemons?”
The gargoyle surprised you by jumping out the way, opening up the staircase to you. Without another thought, you climbed the stairs and knocked on the wooden door. 
“Come in.”
Pushing the door open, Dumbledore turned to face you as you entered the room. With a smile, he greeted you and offered you the seat opposite him as he took his own.
Sitting, your knee started to bounce while your anxiety kicked in wondering what the hell was going on. 
“Y/N- can I call you Y/N? Relax, you’re not in any trouble at all, don’t worry.”
“Can I ask then, why am I here sir?”
“Well, I actually have a job for you if you’re interested? I understand you’re in a unique position where you’re willing to do anything possible to be with the young Mr Malfoy.”
You immediately frowned, how the hell did he know that?!
“What kind of job?”
“A job to join the Order of the Phoenix. I want you to act as a spy for me within Voldemort’s ranks.”
476 notes · View notes
huihuiheart · 4 years ago
Text
Special Present - Hwang Hyunjin & Park Seonghwa
Navigation
Stray Kids Masterlist
Ateez Masterlist
Note: This is a gift for my girlfriend for our anniversary. So all the bi/pan Staytiny can thank her for that. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go lose my shit over the filth I just wrote...
Pairing: Dom! Seonghwa x Switch(Sub lean)! Female Reader x Sub! Girlfriend, Switch(Dom lean)! Hyunjin x  Switch(Sub lean)! Female Reader x Sub! Girlfriend
Genre: Smut, literally pure filth, with hints of fluff
Summary: Your girlfriend may be an open book, but put her in the right company and maybe she does still have a few tricks up her sleeve. Tricks that involved some of your very attractive friends. - Girlfriend’s going to be called bunny in this piece. 😉
Warnings: Foursome, Dom/Sub themes, Soft and hard dom themes, this is gonna just be pure filth, oral (giving + receiving...there’s a lot of oral going around in this), fingering, sir kink, hair pulling, spanking, hand job, mommy kink, spit, slapping, some overstimulation, face sitting, unprotected sex, choking (slight), edging, biting, praise, degradation.
Word Count: 5,415
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Your girlfriend liked to think that she was sly, you had to disagree. Her face, if not her voice, gave everything away and led you to figure things out before she could surprise you. Not to mention the fact that she was just bad at keeping secrets. So with your anniversary approaching, you figured this would be the same type of situation. She would try to surprise you and even if you didn’t actively try to figure it out, details would be given away or figured out at some point even if it didn’t reveal everything.
You knew she'd likely want to talk to your friends to get ideas of what to do. The question was just who among your friends she'd go to. Though you had a pretty good idea of who she might pick. She'd at least go to Hyunjin, having a soft spot for him that you often teased her about. After all, she had the perfect excuse to go talk to him now too, flustered or not. 
As the days passed though you put together that if she had gone to Hyunjin he wasn’t the only one she had gone to considering things were too quiet still, for it to be just the two of them plotting something. It intrigued you though how determined she seemed to be to actually keep this a surprise...even if you had no idea where to start when considering what it might be.
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Bunny’s fingers tapped anxiously on the table at the cafe she agreed to meet the boys at, sipping her latte as if it would help calm her despite the obscene amount of caffeine in it. Her cheeks adorn a bright blush when Seonghwa enters, smirking at her flustered state as he moves to join her. Her state is not getting any better when Hyunjin joins a few moments later, brows furrowing as he sits beside Seonghwa across from the jittery girl. 
“Bunny? Is something wrong? You seem worked up about something.” Hyunjin reaches out to place his hand over hers as it fidgets on the table still. She was shy and quick to fluster, this seemed excessive even for her. Only adding to the growing curiosity of the men across from her over why she’d want to speak to them without you here or knowing.
“Everything’s fine, there’s just something that I wanted to ask you guys for help with...it’s a bit unconventional though, so I’m not entirely sure how to ask.” Bunny’s voice almost fades into the air as she speaks, her words so soft as if afraid to commit to the reason she came here today. The pair across from her patiently waiting and reassuring her that they were in no rush for an explanation. They may not have met Bunny until after you’d started dating her, yet they knew they could trust her not to be concerned about whatever it was, knowing she’d never want you to be hurt. 
“You guys know that our anniversary is coming up right?” Bunny finally speaks up, eyes flitting nervously between the faces of the two before dropping to her drink again, or the last remaining drops at the bottom of the cup anyway, “I thought of something special to do for her, but it involved the both of you and is well...explicit...so I understand if you would have no interest in being a part of it.” 
Seonghwa hums, licking his lips as his smirk returns picking up on the little clues and already piecing things together, “Are you asking us to join you two in the bedroom on your anniversary?” 
Bunny’s flushed cheeks were a dead giveaway, the little squeaky yes not even necessary. Though the verbal confirmation is what had Hyunjin adorning a matching blush in a matter of seconds.
“Well if that’s the case then you’re going to have to spare some details to help us prepare. After all, it is a special night for you both.” Seonghwa reaches out to tilt Bunny’s chin up and finally meets his eyes for more than a moment, “Besides we’ve heard from kitten all about how shameless her sweet little bunny really is.”
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To anyone who didn’t know you and your girlfriend the whole day of your anniversary might have seemed like a competition over who could spoil the other more. You both had it in your nature to be like that with those whom you care about. The two of you however were used to it at this point, and despite the playful scolding that happened you were both enjoying yourselves. Though there would be some redecorating and arranging happening after the day with the gifts that needed homes and the creative ideas some of them were spurred on. 
Three full meals and endless treats that seemed to be appearing out of thin air later and you two decided to go on a walk through the park since it was nice out and watching the sunset was always nice. Though it is a sudden idea that Bunny had today of all days did intrigue you. Assuming something was meant to happen on your walk, yet nothing did. Just some gentle conversation between you two along the way, though something seemed odd again when she led you home through the back entrance as if hiding something. Stepping into your apartment it appeared as you had left it, so perhaps it was just what she had felt like doing today to mix things up without doing anything else excessive at the end of your day.
When you go to the kitchen to get some water, Bunny follows behind. Her arms slipping around your waist as she leans against you, placing a soft kiss on your temple, “I have one more surprise for you...I’ll be waiting.”
She slips away from you as you bring the bottle to your lips, sipping the water as you watch her walk to your bedroom and shut the door behind herself again. Something that made you raise a brow, wondering what she could have hidden from you in there. You did have a pretty good idea it was something less than innocent, however. Not entirely surprising considering what today was, it simply intrigued you that she seemed to be the one that was initiating something new which wasn’t a common occurrence for her. Still, it was in your nature to tease a little bit, so while you didn’t keep her waiting for long you still dragged out what you were doing on the way to the bedroom wanting to see just what would happen.
You weren’t surprised to find your girlfriend sitting on the bed when you entered the room. Her fairy lights and other little fixtures all lit the room right now, it enough to see everything, just in a low glow now. Not that you noticed what she planned to surprise you with yet until the clearing of a throat sounded making you jump. Looking towards the sound your eyes lock with Seonghwa’s, him smirking at you, while you between him and your girlfriend for a moment.
“So this is your little surprise hm? You invited Seonghwa to join us?” Your own expression mirrors Seonghwa’s, as you look at your flustered girlfriend, only she’s not the one to speak next.
“Not just Seonghwa.” Hyunjin speaks from behind you, where he closes the door, “Of course, she extended the invitation to us. We’re waiting for your say as well though.”
“Just know that if you agree there’s no going back.” Seonghwa licks his lips taking in your form with hooded eyes, lust already hazing them over. The two men have been anticipating this moment for a while now, but still waiting for your go-ahead before doing anything. 
You look between the other three, who all seemed rather eager as they waited for your answer, it was enough to let you know everyone was on the same page about wanting this, “Well I’m certainly not opposed, especially after Bunny put in the effort to plan this.”
Seonghwa hums, rising from the spot he’d sat in across the room for the sake of the view of the door. Wanting to see you when you came in and gauge your reaction, “And yet you made her wait like a little tease didn’t you kitten? You should be grateful that she did this, but you were trying to test her patience weren’t you?”
You blink at Seonghwa with an innocent smile, “I don’t know what you mean, why would I do that to Bunny?”
He looks at you with a raised brow, “Oh is that so? What do you think Bunny? Did she do it on purpose? Did she just lie to me?” 
Bunny’s eyes widen as the two of you look at her as if both willing her to disagree with you and side with the other. A battle of dominance already stirring in the group. She’s so distracted by her thoughts she misses the fact that Hyunjin comes up behind her silently, his hand slipping around to grip her jaw firmly and turn her to face Seonghwa directly. Leaning in to feel his breath against her ear.
“He asked you a question Bunny, you better answer him.” Hyunjin whispers, clicking his tongue disapprovingly when she tries to nod in answer to Seonghwa, “Vocalize.” 
You all hear the whimper Bunny lets out at his command before she swallows the lump in her throat to finally squeak out an answer to Seonghwa’s questions, “Yes sir...she did it on purpose...she likes to tease.”
Hyunjin licks the shell of her ear as praise while Seonghwa chuckles, looking at you triumphant, despite knowing you made a mental note to get Bunny back for this later.
“You know you’re lucky that tonight is special otherwise you’d be in a lot more trouble, but I think you’ve tested Bunny’s patience enough for one night...so you’re going to get a reward with a punishment. Well, unless you decide to pull anymore sly little stunts.” Seonghwa steps closer to you, hands gripping your hips and turning your back to him so you’re facing Hyunjin and Bunny on the bed. Hyunjin leaning back slightly and making Bunny lean against his chest, nudging her legs open while toying with the hem of her little sundress, slowly dragging it up to expose more skin before letting it fall down again repaying you for dragging out your trip to the bedroom.
“Don’t you think that she deserves a thank you for arranging all this for you? Or are you trying to really put her patience to the test? Do you think she’ll do something if you do? She won’t, Bunny’s a good girl after all.” Hyunjin praises your girlfriend for her rare display of patience. Seonghwa urges you closer with his grip on your hips, while you bite your lip glaring at Hyunjin trying to get him to back off, but he only smirks at you instead, pulling Bunny’s dress up again exposing her panties now.
“You never answered kitten...do you think bunny deserves a thank you?” Seonghwa leans over your shoulder so he can look you in the eyes when he asks, raising a brow as if daring you to do something.
“I don’t know, it seems to me like she did it for the both of us. Not just her, so why should she get a treat without earning it?” You shrug looking Seonghwa in the eyes smugly, not backing down from his apparent challenge.
Seonghwa rolls his eyes slightly looking at Bunny now, “What do you think? Have you earned something yet Bunny?”
Bunny licks her lips as if debating her options, Hyunjin’s fingertips on her thighs and lips brushing against her neck serving to make that task more difficult, despite the view it gave you, “Only if you think so sir, she’s right...this is for me too, but I didn’t mean it to be selfish. I wanted to do something nice for her.” 
You tsk softly, knowing she was sweet-talking with her answer and that the boys knew too. Even still it wasn’t enough to get her into the small amount of trouble that you were, only because you had managed to test their own patience some as well.
“We know, that’s why you are going to get a treat. Only if you can stay a good girl for all of us though.” Seonghwa moves you onto the bed.
Hyunjin toying with your girlfriend’s panties before pushing them down. Making her blush at the fact that all three of you now had that view of her, even if she was still half-dressed. Hyunjin nudged her thighs open again as Seonghwa moved to settle between them. Seonghwa’s hand weaving into your hair and gripping to move you closer to her pussy.
“Well, kitten? Get on with it. Or are you not interested in earning your reward?” Seonghwa practically presses your mouth against her cunt for you, still, you decided to tease. Tongue slipping out to slowly drag through her folds before licking around her clit without giving direct pressure, smirk showing in your eyes as they look up into hers. Loving how she whimpers at your teasing already and you can tell she’s trying not to squirm too much, but behave instead.
“Are you trying to drag things out again?” Hyunjin’s voice shows he’s ready to be firm with you, but your eyes flick to his with the same smirk already knowing how to answer him perfectly.
“Only enough to hear her beg, then I’ll give in. She’s pretty when she begs though and I know you both would love to hear it, so why wouldn’t I make her.” Your plan seems to work as the two don’t say or do anything to stop you from continuing your teasing.
“Go on then, make her beg kitten.” Seonghwa hums, before his hand smacks your ass, clothing providing some protection for now, “Just know that you don’t get to cum until she does.”
As appealing as that sounds you’re not sure how it’s supposed to be a challenge as you continue to leave barely-there licks to your girlfriend’s dripping folds, well not until Seonghwa starts to work on undressing you in the same way Hyunjin had done Bunny. Worried more about seeing what was between your legs than stripping you entirely for the time being. Another smack meeting your now bare ass before two of his fingers press over the growing wetness soaking your panties.
“And you can’t even lie about wanting to cum.” Seonghwa teases his fingers spurring you on, knowing that he’ll only tease as long as you do, and while your girlfriend was by no means quiet she wasn’t begging yet.
Bunny’s hands move hoping to grip your hair and press you closer to get more, but Hyunjin stops her, pinning her arms in his own, “That’s not your job Bun, just be a good girl and take it or ask for what you want.”
She whines, squirming slightly in effect grinding against Hyunjin’s bulge and making him let out a little grunt. That being the only reason you don’t stop her hips from moving, the fact that she was dooming herself to fail if she continued to subtly pleasure Hyunjin like this. Seonghwa takes some pity on her though, or using it as an excuse to manhandle you a little more...you weren’t quite sure, and gripping your hair himself pressing your mouth against her a little more.
“Please...I’ve been good, just please don’t tease me anymore.” She finally cracks, starting to beg. It’s not enough for you yet, however, as you shake your head and while it gives her more pleasure for a moment it stops too soon, “Fuck mommy, please I’ll be good for you I swear...just please make me cum.”
Your eyes meet Hyunjin’s for a moment before you pull away from your girlfriend enough to look back at Seonghwa who nods, pleased with the fact that you seem to know that while you’re more dominant than your girlfriend you still aren’t in charge right now. His hand presses your face back towards your girlfriend’s obvious need, before moving back to your ass again. His other hand works to pull your panties down, before he disappears between your legs. Two fingers pressing into you too slowly not to be a tease as his tongue slips out to lap at your throbbing clit. It is quite the view for Bunny and Hyunjin to see, though yours isn’t bad either. Even when Hyunjin moves to stop her hips, she is not satisfied with the fact that his sounds stop. Her hand reaches to rub over his bulge before fumbling to undo his pants, something that’s difficult for her with the way your actions have her attention, especially when Seonghwa curls his fingers against your spot making you moan against her clit. Bunny barely manages to undo the button before Hyunjin helps her out, freeing his cock to let her finally wrap her hand around. That doesn’t last long however before Hyunjin grips her small wrist and moves her hand away, guiding it to her mouth only moving it back to please him once it’s thoroughly slicked with spit. Spit that she practically drooled out between fucked out moans and whimpers of pleasure. 
Seonghwa chuckling softly against your clit, “Are you getting off on the sight of them, kitten? I’ll bet that’s what has your pussy throbbing like this hm? Is the sight of them turning you into a little slut? Or were you already one?”
Seonghwa’s words don’t do you any favors, especially with the way he speaks against your clit, sending vibrations through it and only bringing you even more pleasure. Internally debating over whether it would be worth disobeying and cumming before you made Bunny did or if you should listen and hope for a reward. Seonghwa seems to pick up on that though, his hand swatting at your ass again to remind you that he had no problems punishing, not that you were sure you’d mind. A small part of you did agree though that Bunny deserved a bit of a reward for orchestrating this for you...and you just might have wanted to give that to her yourself. So you found yourself listening for now and focusing on making her cum first like you were supposed to. Not that it took long for that to happen, Seonghwa humming in satisfaction against your clit, before suckling the bud while his fingers pressed deeper inside of you, wanting to bring you your reward for listening so well. Knowing that you’d been on edge and holding back from cumming for a little bit did nothing to quell his eagerness, his actions showed that he was putting everything into making you orgasm with no reservations on his part. The sight of your fucked out girlfriend still stoking Hyunjin’s cock only makes it that much easier for him to throw you over the edge. 
Seonghwa gives you a few moments to recover from your high before moving you to sit up on your knees again, hands moving to finish undressing you while Hyunjin somewhat reluctantly moves Bunny’s hand away to do the same to her. After you reach out to Bunny impeding Seonghwa’s actions for a moment and almost making him think you were bratty until he sees what’s going on. You stop her from trying to take Hyunjin’s shirt off and putting her hands down on her thighs.
“Did he give you permission, Bunny?” You question raising a brow, “You know better than to do something without being given permission, what do you need to do?”
She looks between you and Hyunjin with big pleading eyes trying to get away with not having to say anything as you lean into Seonghwa’s touch again, letting him remove your bra now and leave you entirely undressed. Seonghwa chuckling softly into your ear, while his hands knead your breasts watching to see what happens.
“Have you been soft on her?” He teases in a whisper into your ear.
You shrug, “Maybe a little bit, teasing just seems to be a more effective punishment for her though. She looks innocent, but she likes to try and be a brat to get punishment sometimes.”
“I’m sure she’s not the only one.” Seonghwa nips at your ear, smirking as he calls you out. 
Hyunjin watches Bunny as she still doesn’t speak, leaning back to slowly unbutton the top to buttons of his shirt, toying with the material before his hand drifts down over the material to his cock and stroking it softly.
“You won’t get anything without words Bunny.” Hyunjin tsks as he watches her squirm and whimper softly. Not giving into her that easily.
“Please I want to touch...to help...”Bunny speaks quietly, flushing brightly even if she could barely be heard. Hyunjin nods and moves his hand away to let her do it though, having no doubt any of you would be able to get her to be as loud as you wanted later, so why not let her save her voice for now.
“Alright Bunny that’s enough.” Seonghwa’s voice commands firmly from behind you, sending shivers down your spine. Bunny practically jumping as if touching Hyunjin burned, having just barely touched him now that she’d gotten his clothes off. Seonghwa patting your butt before motioning Bunny over, “Why don’t you go give Hyunjin some attention kitten?”
You and Bunny switch places, her going to undress Seonghwa now while you go to Hyunjin. Your hands running slowly down his chest, gaze flicking down before meeting his eyes again with a small smirk.
“What got you so worked up Hyunjin?” You tease fingers dancing over his thighs after your hands move down past his hips and not to where he wants them. Making him raise a brow at your antics.
“The sight of you and bunny falling apart like good little girls for us, that and the fact that she’s not bad with her hands.” Hyunjin licks his lips, not giving you the satisfying reaction that you were hoping for. Instead, he is confident in his position of power in the room, even if it wasn’t the top. 
“Oh Hyunjin, she had barely gotten started...don’t worry though. I’ll pick up where she left off for you.” You lean in to place a kiss to his neck, planning to move down to his dick until you hear quiet choking sounds from behind you. Looking back to find Seonghwa’s cock already down Bunny’s throat while his hand fists some of her hair to help guide her actions.
He raises a brow at you, “What? While you two were busy chit-chatting we wanted to have some fun...now why don’t you get on with it or we’ll never even get to the best part.” 
You snicker, rolling your eyes as your turn to face Hyunjin again. He picks up on the action however and grips your jaw, slapping your cheek enough to sting but nothing truly harsh, “Fucking brat rolling your eyes at him like that.”
You practically laugh at the way he seems fired up now, gripping your hair and guiding your mouth towards his own hard cock, “Don’t even think about being a smart ass either, there are other things your mouth should be occupied with right now.”
You don’t have time to retort with words, but the chuckle you let out before taking his tip holds enough attitude to further prod at Hyunjin, his eyes darkening further as he looks down into your eyes. You weren’t done yet though, you had something else you wanted to say to push Hyunjin. To see if you could get his dominant side to truly snap. You were saving it for just the right moment, however, waiting for his grip to ease up on you and for him to get a slightly glazed over and fucked out expression on his face. That moment of apparent weakness would present the perfect opportunity for you, so now you just had to make that moment happen.
That seems like something that would be coming to you fairly easy as you hollow your cheeks around him again, making his hand slip from your hair and his head fall back in a groan. You don’t take advantage of that just yet though, keeping up your actions for a few more moments just to be sure he’s turned to putty for you. Then pulling away and replacing your mouth with your hand as you move to whisper into his ear.
“Look at you acting like you’re all tough, but when it comes down to it you can’t even follow through can you? You fall apart for just a little pleasure, don’t you? Almost like you want to be a good boy for me.” You taunt, kissing the corner of his mouth just to tease more, “Is that it Hyunjin? You want to be a good boy for mommy?”
For a second you think you have him, the way he shudders under your gaze as his cheeks flush. Yet in a moment it’s over as quickly as you made it happen and Hyunjin is gripping your jaw and making you face the fire in his eyes. The monster of your own creation, just his expression letting you know that you were fucked. 
“Having one good girl and one bad one at the same time is making it really hard to treat you tonight...you just had to go and be a little brat didn’t you kitten?” Hyunjin raises a brow and you hear Seonghwa sigh softly before Bunny whines. Hyunjin refuses to let you turn and see what’s happening, however, his grip on you remains firm even as you hear shuffling behind you.
“Guess Hyunjin gets to punish you now hm?” Seonghwa’s voice sounds as Hyunjin’s grip drops to your hips, turning you to face away from him and instead at Seonghwa and Bunny. 
Seonghwa laid back, guiding Bunny to straddle his face looking at you and Hyunjin. His hands reach out to help Hyunjin lead you on your knees between Seonghwa’s legs before Hyunjin grips the back of your neck and moves your face closer to Seonghwa’s cock.
“Come on kitten, your bad behavior interrupted us before Bunny could finish. So now it’s your job.” Seonghwa informs you before his arms lock around Bunny’s thighs to hold her in place as he starts his task of eating her out. It is necessary as your girlfriend always seemed to struggle with staying still through the pleasure. 
You had your own task to focus on though, it seemed like you wouldn’t be let off that easy, however. As your lips wrapped around Seonghwa, Hyunjin drew a whine out of you by spanking you harder than you expected from the softer man. It didn’t stop with just one either...no, he seemed intent on letting you know just what your bratty behavior made him feel at the price of your ass. Not that you had any complaints about the reminders his hands would leave in their wake. It seemed to you that your relief came relatively quick when you felt Hyunjin slowly pushing it while pressing your head down to take all of Seonghwa with a moan. That was too good to be true of course when he stopped fully inside of you, staying still even after you’d had time to adjust to the way he stretched you out and filled you so well. Instead of bringing his hand crashing down on your ass again instead of fucking you the way you thought he would.
“The second you stop taking care of Seonghwa, I stop too.” Hyunjin warns you with a single hard thrust, “ That still doesn’t mean you’ll get what you want easy though.”
You concede, brain already turning to mush from the pleasure as he slowly builds a pace, watching closely for any slip-ups from you. When instead he sees you diligently sucking Seonghwa’s cock he doesn’t hold back any longer. His skilled hips provide you with hard, controlled thrusts. For someone who was letting themselves become unrestrained, he was awfully controlled. His thrusts never sloppy, even as pleasure coursed through his own body. Instead, they only seemed to throw more determined, chasing after as much pleasure as they could get for both of you. Craving it more and more, already addicted. Still, he had told you that it wouldn’t be that easy and he intended to keep his word. His hand meeting your ass again, not holding back even as he thrusts into you.
“I’m not stopping until Bunny cums, so if you can’t keep from cumming then you better be prepared to take everything. “ Hyunjin warns and when you hear a whimper you look up to notice that Seonghwa has pulled away from Bunny to smirk down at you, letting you know he was in no rush right now. Or perhaps his need to teach you a lesson just outweighed anything else right now. Whatever the case it was making Bunny more impatient as she tried to squirm in Seonghwa’s hold again. Only this time it was consciously and in an attempt to get more attention again. Making you smirk at the thought that this might just lead to her doom as well, the little Bunny who’d been obedient all night now breaking down into disobedience. Something that would only make this more fun and the thought helping ground you through the mind-numbing pleasure Hyunjin had been relentlessly providing. He had every intention of making you crumble though, hand snaking down rub tight little circles onto your clit without missing a beat. His other hand moves to wrap around your throat and pull you up away from Seonghwa’s cock and instead to look at Bunny who whines again as Seonghwa bites her thigh in warning.
“Look at her kitten, you’re teaching her to be disobedient. So now you should show her what little disobedient girls get, don’t you think?” Hyunjin’s breath is hot against your ear as his hand tightens slightly, the final push to throw you over the edge. 
Even as you come down from that high though he’s not finished with you. Instead, continue on as he releases your neck to let your mouth return its attention to Seonghwa’s cock. While Seonghwa’s attention returns to Bunny, putting up with the tad bit of brat behavior coming from her...for now. Though as she gets close again, around the time Hyunjin has urged you towards another orgasm as well Seonghwa gets fed up with her squirming and lack of manners. So he pulls away, releasing her thighs and tossing her back onto the bed. Hyunjin gets his cue and pulls out, moving you away from Seonghwa as well. 
“We’re finally teaching one brat to behave only for another one to start acting up.” Seonghwa sighs gripping Bunny’s jaw, “Where did our good little Bunny go, hm? Did you just get so desperate that you turned into a little fucking whore?”
Bunny flushes brightly giving a small shrug, “I get it from kitty.”
Seonghwa chuckles, looking over at you with Bunny still in his grasp, “Oh, I don’t doubt that for a second. I guess we should be grateful to you though Bunny you did say something about a whole night full of fun when you made this proposal...so we have plenty of time to put you both in your place.”
Seonghwa pulls Bunny up and hands her over to Hyunjin before motioning you over to him. The two men moving you both onto all fours facing each other, but too far to reach one another. Communicating wordlessly through their eyes and thrusting into you both at the same time.
“So I hope you two are ready cause you have a long night ahead of you...don’t worry we’ll make it extra special.” Seonghwa’s smirk bleeds into his voice letting you hear it even if you're not the one able to see him right now.
“Besides it’ll be fun to see who holds out the longest now that both of you are misbehaving.” Hyunjin adds, “I wonder who will be the first to break...”
You smirk looking at Hyunjin and Bunny. Hyunjin raises a brow at your smug nature, while Bunny shakes her head slightly already knowing what was coming, prepared for your taunts to make another appearance.
“Guess you’ll just have to find out, won’t we?”
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Note: I’m not super proud of this, I felt it was a bit rushed and lacking in details. I wanted to get it out though, so be prepared for a rewrite at some point in the hopefully near future.
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t-lostinworlds · 4 years ago
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Wish You Didn’t (Peter Parker)
a/n: hello, hello. here’s another angst fic as ‘tradition’ since this is my first ever full peter parker fic so yeah, please be kind alska. this is very fluffy from the start but then it’s all downhill from there lol, hope you enjoy this one <3
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pairing: peter parker x female reader trope/genre: song fic - Wish You Didn’t Love Me by Jake Miller; best friends to...well; fluff and angst summary: You love Peter Parker with all that you have, but somehow, he doesn't find that as a good thing. Despite feeling the same way, to protect you, Peter wish you didn't love him at all. warnings: wholesome cuteness at the start to set you up for heartbreak, brief dark thought from peter, and swearing. word count: 13.9k+ (i mean, what’s new)
masterlist on bio & pinned post
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"Ugh."
Peter looked up from his textbook just in time to see you drop your bag on the table and then plop yourself down on the seat across him in the library. There was a look of pure frustration on your face, his brows furrowing at the sight of the deep frown written on your lips.
"What's up?" Peter asked, twirling his pen in his fingers as he tilted his head at you in concern.
You let out a big sigh, meeting your best friend's gaze with your frown still intact. "I've got a debate coming up tomorrow," you grumbled dejectedly.
The crease between Peter's brows could only deepen at your words.
You were the best on the debate team, always at the ready to take whatever topic it was thrown at you, headstrong. You're always excited to gush to him about what could be your winning argument, what would put the opposing team at a standstill. So, to see you be somewhat upset about an upcoming debate, it was so unlike you.
Maybe because it seemed last minute but by the looks of it, Peter can't help but feel like it was more than that.
"What's it about?" he asked.
You blew out your cheeks, hand coming up to play with the notebook he had on the table before you blurted out,
"Spider-Man: Friend or Foe."
Peter cleared out his throat just as he turned the page of his book to hide it, sitting straighter in his seat, pretending to get back to reading to avoid your gaze.
He didn't tell you.
Years and years of being best friends yet you didn't have an ounce of clue that you were sitting right across the person who was going to be the topic of your debate.
Peter trusts you of course, he trusts you with his life. His reason was simple really: he just didn't want to drag you into it.
Plus, knowing how worried you can get, he just didn't want to put you through all of that, especially on top of all things college and with what's going on in your personal life. He already feels so guilty with the stress he's put May through, he can't bear to see you have that burden too.
And most importantly, Peter just wanted to protect you.
"Still don't see why you're bummed about it," he said with a shrug, gaze running over the text printed on the paper but none of it was going inside his mind.
"I got picked to defend him."
Peter's head shot up at that, eyes narrowing on your seated form as he asked, "Oh, so you think he's a foe?"
"No..." you trailed off, eyes wandering around his slightly messy table littered with notes, textbooks and books, highlighters and everything in between. "Not really."
Closing his book, Peter leaned forward, arms rested on the surface with his full attention now on you. "Care to elaborate?"
You pursed your lips, shifting in your seat as you crossed your arms over your chest. "I mean, he's probably got good intentions but I've read about the Sokovia accords you know," you started, Peter nodding to show you that he was following. "And it's a debate. The other party would do their best to make him out to be a reckless vigilante. I can already think of so many arguments that they'd throw."
"Such as?"
"That he could be doing this for fame and attention, or that he is doing good things but his drive to do them isn't exactly the best. Is it for revenge? Bragging rights or maybe something darker? Another one could be that he's young, careless and naïve. We don't know what he's really capable of superpower wise which means he can probably hurt innocent people in the future.
"Not to mention if he's on the right or wrong side of the law. Who has to pay for the collateral damages that he has caused? Is it right to let him go scot free? I could go on and on and I just," you paused, resting one arm on the table and then placing your head on it as you looked up at your best friend. "I can't really counter those things with full force because I don't really know the dude nor do I have any real, solid facts about him to back up my claim that he's completely on the good side."
"Research hasn't done you good has it?" Peter hummed, a soft smile playing on his lips as his hand came up to poke your cheek, a sweet attempt to try and rid of your frown.
You shook your head no with a deepened pout, taking his hand away from your face with your own free hand as your nimble fingers then played with his absentmindedly.
Peter's heart grew warm at the gesture.
"There's literally nothing on this spider dude aside from blog posts written by fanboys and girls gushing about how amazing he is. Which is never a great source since it's already so biased," you explained.
"What would truly help you aside from research?" he queried, eyes trained on the way you interlock your fingers together and then letting it go only for a second before interlacing them again, letting it go and repeat. It was such an adorable habit of yours, one that Peter has grown so fond of, your touch always delicate and sweet whenever you fidget with his hand.
"An interview I guess? It'd be nice to get to ask him a few questions. Like, it would help to know why I'm on his side. Get a perspective on why he does what he does, you know?" you sighed, eyes fluttering close with your frown still intact. "At least that way, I know I'm defending someone who I know is worth defending."
Peter hummed as he tore his eyes away from your intertwined hands and back on your sprawled out upper-half on the table. He pursed his lips, gaze on the dip and valleys of your beautiful but stressed face. His brain grew at odds the more he took in your deep frown—one he always hates seeing no matter the reason—as he raked his thoughts on what he could possibly do to help without having the trouble of revealing his secret to you.
"But it's genuinely impossible to talk to him—"
"You could send him an email," Peter blurted before he gave himself time to properly process his words. Hell, he didn't even get to weigh the odds and dangers of his proposition. But now that it already slipped out his mouth—
Shit. I don't think this is a good idea...
Your eyes snapped open as you gaped up at him, brows deeply furrowed as you wondered, "Spider-Man...has an email?"
Too late to back out now, Parker.
"Well, all the Avengers do, under Stark Industries to be specific," Peter said in the most nonchalant way he can muster. "Since, you know, Stark tech in their suits, modifications, upgrades, what color they want it as, etcetera, it's how they talk about those stuff."
You abruptly sat up, dropping his hand as you laid both of your palms flat on the table, eyes now twinkling with hope and excitement. "You think he'd actually see it?"
"Yeah, not many people know about it so," he trailed off with a shrug, opening his book again and flicking through the pages.
You leaned forward, trying to catch his gaze as you narrowed your eyes at him suspiciously. "How'd you know?"
Peter scoffed with a shake of his head, never looking away from his book given that you'd notice his lie right off the bat if he does so. "I don't know Y/N, probably because I work there," he pointed out. Well, technically it wasn't a lie, but it wasn't exactly the truth either.
"And you're giving me it?"
He shrugged, finally meeting your gaze. "I don't see why not? As long as you don't share it around or sell it," Peter warned, shooting you playful glare.
"Yes! Oh my—you are the best," you exclaimed excitedly, jumping out of your seat and rounding the table to give him a back hug. "You're a lifesaver Pete, thank you." With one last squeeze, you pulled away and swiftly snatched your bag, feet in a rush as you treaded towards the door.
"Where are you going?" Peter asked bemusedly.
"Sending the email! Hopefully I can talk to him tonight!" you called back to him.
Peter can't help but shake his head at you with a laugh, "I haven't even given you the email!"
"Just send—"
Sssh!
"Oops, sorry," you whispered, finger over your lips as you rushed back to his side with a bright smile. "Just text me it please? Love you," you hummed, hand landing on his shoulder as you leaned down to place a swift but sweet kiss on his cheek.
The skin where your lips once were quickly turned pink, Peter's heart skipping countless beats at that four-letter word, unable to conjure any response the more he thinks about the actual weight of the warmth that's grown in his chest. He's heard you say it to him many times before of course, but despite holding a different meaning—one with friendship laced around it—it never fails to make Peter's heart soar.
Albeit wanting it to mean something else, something more, Peter knows he shouldn't. Always quick to silence his heart on screaming for more given that it wasn't ideal, for your sake. He always reminds himself that he already feels utmost content with what he has with you now, content with the love you make him feel even if it's only to an extent.
It was enough, for your sake.
Nothing but adoration coated his features as his eyes followed your every movement. His heart grew even more when you beamed at him once you pulled away, ruffling his hair playfully before hurrying out of the library, shooting him one last smile and a wave before disappearing from sight.
Peter can't wipe his own grin off his face, just the sight of your beautiful smile and your joyful eyes, easily contagious on his part. But then realization dawned on him and the curve slipped away, replaced by a frown laced with panic as he pulled out his phone to check the time.
"Shit."
He quickly gathered up his things and rushed out of the library, taking the back door out of the building to the nearest alley. Peter had his eyes glued to his screen the whole time as he quickly made a fake but believable enough email before sending it to you.
***
"Heard you were looking for me?"
You let out a yelp, jumping a few inches back as you spun around towards the direction of the voice. A hand flew over your chest the moment your eyes landed on a figure, shock befalling you as you froze. He was squatted down on the ledge of the rooftop of your apartment building, red and blue faint under the night sky. "Oh my—uh, hi," you squeaked, eyes blinking rapidly to see if what you're seeing was actually real.
The wind was blowing cold, your black pants, plain t-shirt and jean jacket doing just enough to minimize it. The sound of the streets of Manhattan was echoing below, very busy but faint due to your distance from the ground, enabling you to still hear his voice loud and clear when he spoke again.
"Hi, I'm Spider-Man," he introduced as he offered you his hand, masked eyes trained on you as you cautiously walked towards him.
"I know. I'm Y/N," you said, hesitantly reaching out to take his hand, the material of his suit rough against your palm as you shook it. You were in absolute awestruck, eyes glowing with wonder as you did nothing but gape at him.
"I know," he said and you can practically hear his smile behind the mask. He gave your hand a squeeze, the odd feeling that coursed through your bones made you tilt your head at him in mere curiosity, brows furrowed in utter confusion. Mr. Spider-Man swiftly cleared out his throat, eyes casted down as he quickly let go of your hand. "It's on your email," he added hastily.
"Oh, yeah," you muttered. A few seconds passed and you just stood there, staring at him like some star struck fan as you rubbed your hands together in both the cold and slight nerves. After a few seconds more, you finally spoke, "Wow, okay, I didn't expect for you to actually show up."
You don't know where to actually begin.
The first thought you had after sending the email was that he'd never actually see it, or if he does, he'll simply ignore it. You had been ready to wait out in the cold for a couple hours, anticipated the letdown to be frank. Yet here he was, the Spider-Man, right in front of you who, amazingly, even arrived right on time.
Spider-Man was making you nervous.
Normally, you have no problem with doing interviews. It is a form of research after all, and being on the debate team, you've done countless of it. But right now feels different.
Maybe it was the fact that he was a fucking superhero. He's someone who has actually done quite a lot and has probably seen and experienced other worldly things just as much if not more. Or maybe it's the fact that you simply don't know where this will go from here.
Will it do well that you'd get to ask proper questions and get answers that would truly help or will he get cocky and rude that this interaction would only end up being a waste of time?
Despite being famous, he was a complete mystery to everyone. The person behind the mask was wholly unknown and that itself makes you very nervous.
With a shrug, he said, "Well, wouldn't pass helping a friend."
"Are you making your voice deep?" you asked, the sound of his voice a little too...computerized for it to be normal.
He nodded. "Voice modulator, it helps keep my secret identity, well, a secret."
"Oh, yeah, figured."
You stayed quiet again after that, arms crossing over your chest as you kept your gaze steady on him, features coated with a mixture of emotions from confusion, amazement, curiosity and everything in between.
He chuckled softly, probably noticing your painfully obvious shyness. "Got questions for me?" he prodded.
You blinked a few times before frantically nodding, recalling how you specifically said in the email that you just wanted to ask a few questions. You then took out your phone, showing him the voice recording app and asked, "Is this okay?"
Spider-Man tilted his head at you with a soft hum.
"Yeah, I trust you with it."
You smiled.
The pressure and nerves turned lighter on your shoulders as you somewhat felt more comfortable...safe around him. And there's just something about the fact that he trusts you that warms your bones. It's like he's certain you only have his best intentions in mind, as if he knows you weren't in this for a selfish gain. It's really comforting in a sense, makes you feel confident that you're on the right track.
It makes you feel good about yourself.
With a soft nod, you hit record, words of curiosity slipping out of your lips soon after. "Those webs, do they come out from you?"
"No, they don't," he chuckled, taking out a vile from his wrist and then handing it to you. "That is what you call web fluid and I make them."
You gingerly took it in your hands, eyes scanning it briefly before you gave it back. "Impressive."
"Thanks. So, the fluid is like the bullets and these right here"—he showed you the black bands on his wrists with his hands open—"Are the web shooters that make me well, shoot webs. Like so," he explained as he pressed the button on his palm, the webs streaming out soon after and snatching an empty can on the far corner before it landed back in his hand.
You pursed your lips with a nod. "So, you can make weapons," you said with a certain tone in your voice that caused him to shift in his place.
"I—uh, no?" he stuttered, placing the can back on the ground loudly and in a not-so-subtle way. "I will never build a nuclear bomb if that's what you're wondering," he rushed when you narrowed your eyes at him in suspicion.
"Didn't say anything about a nuclear bomb," you pointed out with a tilt of your head.
"I-I'm, uh, I didn't—"
"I'm just messing with you," you cut him off with a soft laugh, your nerves diminishing swiftly at how he seemed to be a little shy and awkward but in an endearing way. It makes him appear more human, normal. "You're so tense, just relax."
"Yeah…okay," he breathed out. He turned around to face the city, going from crouching to fully sitting down on the ledge, hands folding on his thighs as he looked at you over his shoulder. He jerked his head, gesturing for you to come closer to which you gladly did.
You leaned on the concrete with soft hum, placing your phone beside his thigh so it was now between you both. You scanned the beautiful city with a content smile, the view never ceasing to amaze you despite seeing it too many times before. The rooftop is your best escape after all. It was nice to be far away from everything, even if it's only for a moment. Nothing but peace coats you whenever you're up here, may it be from the gentle gush of the wind or the bright shine of the moon that spreads throughout the blanket of black sky.
With a sigh, you looked up at the mask man beside you. Flustered was what you came to be when you noticed that he was already staring at your face, the white and black of his eyes looking somewhat soft, and you swear he looked almost as if he's smiling behind the mask. Warmth was quick to coat your body, a stark contrast to the cold breeze as you cleared your throat, causing him to swiftly look away.
"Sorry, I'm just a little nervous," he chuckled shyly, hand coming up to rub the back of his neck. "Really want to impress you."
You felt your cheeks heat up, a timid smile growing on your lips as you shrugged. "No need to impress anyone, let alone me," you said. "Just be yourself Spider-Man."
Oh, I truly wish I could just be myself right now Y/N—
"Okay," Peter hummed with a smile.
"Are you sure this is fine?" you asked, gesturing towards your phone in the middle of you two. "I don't want to intrude or make you feel uncomfortable by recording our conversation."
Peter's heart grew warm as his smile widened. Always considerate you are, too kind for your own good. If it was someone else, he probably would've had loads of pictures taken by now. Or maybe even a hidden camera somewhere to catch him at the wrong moment. Many of which would then be posted on the internet to spread like wildfire. Not that he minded the photos and videos but it's off putting sometimes, especially when they churn out not-so-good headlines to match.
"Promise me you won't share or sell it?" he joked, mentally cursing himself soon after once he realized it's the same words he said to you earlier in the library. Although he felt a wash of relief right away when you didn't seem to notice as you only flashed him a sweet smile in return.
"I promise," you hummed, turning to face him as you leaned sideways on the ledge. "What other superpowers do you have?"
"Enhanced abilities such as super strength, I can run fast and heal fast. Dialed up senses meaning I can see, hear, smell and feel things on another level. I'm...sticky, meaning I can climb up walls and stick to stuff like how a spider would. And oh, spider sense," Peter elaborated, watching with amusement as he saw your eyes change from awe, confusion, to impressed and back to confusion.
"Spider sense?"
"I can sense danger and threats when it's coming, like I feel a tingle."
"That's really cool," you hummed, hand rapidly lifting up as you took a fast and big swing towards his shoulder. He caught your fist in his hand way before you could even have the chance to land a punch.
Peter shook his head at you in pure amusement, giving your fist a squeeze before he let it go. "That wasn't so successful now was it?" he chuckled.
"It was worth a try. Just testing the waters to see if it would trigger your 'spidey sense' as you call it," you laughed, quoting the two words with your fingers teasingly.
"It didn't because one, anyone could see that punch from a mile away, and two, I said dangers and threats," he paused, tilting his head at you adoringly. "And you're not really a threat."
"Hey, I can be threatening," you scoffed, chin up with your chest puffed out.
Peter couldn't stop the laugh that escaped his lips. "I'm sure you can. I bet you can handle yourself well, especially with proper training." He took in a deep breath before saying, "But that's not really what I meant."
"What did you mean?
"That I feel safe around you."
"Oh." You blinked at him a few times before you fully broke his gaze, suddenly turning bashful as your eyes watched the busy street below where the cars and people were scurrying about in the cold New York night. Squaring your shoulders, you added, "Well, for what it's worth, I feel safer around you now too."
Peter felt his heart leap out of his chest, a proud smile erupting on his face, gaze dropping on the ground—or lack thereof—shyly as red started to dust his cheeks. "That's worth a lot," he hummed, lifting his head at the same time you did, your eyes locking immediately.
You beamed at him sweetly, shifting on your feet before letting out a breath. "Right, onto a more serious question," you paused, gesturing at the whole of him with your hand. "Why exactly are you doing this?"
"What do you think is the reason why I'm doing what I do?" he asked back, eyes trained on your face for a moment before he looked straight ahead. He can feel your orbs burning a hole on the side of his face, your brows furrowed in a way that Peter could do nothing but grin widely. He always found your thinking face endearing.
"I don't know, could be a lot of things. Could be money, glory, revenge, bragging rights, most likely fame?" you suggested.
Peter shook his head, keeping his gaze on the building across. "If I was doing this for fame, you'd think I would've shown my face by now?"
"Touché."
"But no," he breathed out, eyes now trained on his feet as he swung them aimlessly on the edge of the building. "I just want to help to the best of my abilities. I feel like I was given these powers, me, for a reason. If I'm not going to use it for a good cause then what's the point of having them?" Peter turned to face you, holding your gaze securely, even behind the mask as he continued, "If I'm not going to help out the little guy, even if I can easily do that then, who will? I can't simply watch the world fall apart when I could've done something to prevent it or provided a little bit of help, you know?"
You nodded. "With great power comes great responsibility."
Peter cracked a smile. "Yeah, exactly," he hummed, gaze dropping to stare at his gloved hands, turning it over before clasping it together with a sigh.
"How do you feel about the people who think you're not on the good side? That you have some hidden agenda?"
"I pity them if I'm being honest."
"How so?"
"I mean, if you're at a point in life where you can't accept that someone is helping simply for the sake of helping, then you've must've gone through a lot to not trust easily," Peter started, fingers fidgeting with his web shooters before he met your gaze. "We've been taught to always think that there's an incentive in all that we do. If you give, you have to receive and vice versa. But why can't we simply give and not expect something in return? People are so accustomed to the whole give and take thing that when someone just gives, it feels unfamiliar. That's why they get suspicious. They overthink that surely I'm doing this for something else when there's really no other reason than simply wanting to help.
"I also get it. It's a cruel world we're living in unfortunately where we have to keep one eye open. But I wish people would begin to accept that someone is helping to make the world a better place by simply wanting to have a safe and better place. No hidden agenda whatsoever," he finished, brown orbs catching sight of how your smile grew wider, brighter.
"You're a wise man," you said with an appreciative nod. "With a really good heart too."
"Thanks. I try my best."
"I'd say you've probably lived a life, traveled the world, seen so many new things, been to space," you trailed off, raising a brow at him in question.
"Yeah, you could say that," he chuckled.
"Are you a billionaire? Are you a prince in disguise or maybe a king? Are you a lawyer? Or maybe some kind of mythical being like Thor?" you poked.
Peter laughed, shaking his head as he shrugged. "Nah, I'm just a kid from Queens."
Shit.
Peter you fucking idiot. You absolute dumbass—
"Huh, I've got a best friend who's from Queens," you muttered, voice barely above a whisper but thanks to his enhanced hearing abilities, of course he heard it loud and clear.
Peter bit the insides of his cheek to stop his smile, even though you weren't going to see it anyway since he has a mask on. I know you do. "Come on, I want to show you something," he said aloud instead, standing up to his full height with his hand out for you to take.
You narrowed your eyes at his outstretched palm before you looked up at his masked face. "Are you going to kidnap me now and sell my organs?"
Peter threw his head back with a hearty laugh, the sound ringing in the air as he shook his head at you. "No, I'm going to show you New York from a different angle," he said, smiling widely as he leaned over closer, hand open wide. "Do you trust me?"
"You did not just quote Aladdin," you laughed, taking your phone off the ledge to stop recording before shoving it in your pocket.
Peter shrugged with a sheepish grin. "What if I did?"
You smiled widely at that, placing your hand securely in his and giving it squeeze. "Then yes, I trust you."
Peter hoisted you up on the ledge with ease, both of you now standing side by side on the edge of the building. A small squeak came out of you when you curiously looked down and saw that the ground was actually very far away, your grip on his hand tightening when all you could think of was splat. He chuckled, moving closer to you as he lifted your arm and placed it over his shoulders, your eyes snapping back up to look at his masked face.
"Is this okay?" he hummed, his arm wrapping around your waist strongly once you gave him a nod approval. "Hold tight," Peter said.
"Please don't let me go," you whispered, worry-filled eyes boring into his own while a mixture of both nervousness and excitement coated your features.
"Never."
Peter jumped.
You screamed.
The strong gush of the wind swiftly hit your face, hair whipping around as your grip around him tightened starkly. You felt your stomach churn while you swung in the air, passing one building to another, going high up and then dropping back down in a swooping motion. Your legs wrapped itself around his waist almost instinctively, all in fear of falling to your death.
"This was a bad idea!" you screeched, head buried on the crook of his neck, eyes shut tight ever since your feet left the ledge.
"Open those eyes Y/N! You're missing all the fun!" Peter laughed, giving your waist a reassuring squeeze. He felt you slowly pull your head away from his neck, lids inching open one by one until you finally gawked at the wonderful lights and blaring colors of the city in awe.
Your mouth fell agape the more you took the sight in, the city a blur but somewhat beautiful in its own unique way. You loosened your grip around his shoulder just so you could lift a hand up in the air, a satisfied hum vibrating in your chest as you felt the cold wind brush through your fingertips in the most comforting way.
That's when you let out a gleeful laugh.
Peter felt his heart melt ten times over at the beautiful sound. His cheeks were hurting from grinning ear to ear the more he took in how you're having the best time.
You looked absolutely breathtaking, the city lights casting a glow over your features, eyes holding nothing but pure bliss and wonder with that lovely, bright smile of yours to match.
The city was pretty sure, Peter loves seeing it at night whenever he does his patrol. But you, you were gorgeous, a stunning sight that he could never ever have enough of. You never do fail to make his heart stop, never fail to take his breath away, never fail to make his limbs all weak and Peter found himself falling deeper despite trying his hardest not to.
"This is so cool—no!" you shrieked, eyes wide with fear as you shot high up midair and went free falling for a few horrifying seconds before you landed back into his embrace, slotting right into his chest. Peter laughed as you quickly went to latch onto him, your grip viselike with both arms around his shoulders and your legs around his waist. He wrapped an arm around you securely as his other hand held tightly on the web, both of you now face to face as you continued to swing in the air.
You lifted your head up to look at him fully, faces now inches apart as you stared right into each other's eyes. Peter felt his heartbeat quicken when your orbs held a certain spark, as if you could see the actual him right behind the mask. His eyes fell on your lips, slightly parted as you gawked at him. They look really soft, very pretty, inviting.
He gulped.
At that point Peter wasn't sure if he was thankful or annoyed that he was wearing a mask. Because if he wasn't, then he would've already done something he might regret—or not—later on, especially with the consequences that would come with it.
But when you opened your mouth to start to speak, that's when Peter grew even more nervous on what could possibly be running in your thoughts.
Did you figure it out?
You didn't get a chance to say whatever it was you wanted to say when all movements stopped, Peter releasing you from his hold right as you felt your feet touch the ground.
"That was mean," you said once you gently pulled away from him. "You said you wouldn't let me go," you added, adjusting your hair and clothes before you shot him a pout.
"I'm sorry, I got a little distracted," he admitted, rubbing the back of his neck with a shy chuckle. It was a full on accident, mind preoccupied by all things you that he unconsciously loosened his grip around your waist which in turn, made you slip out of his grasp. "I'll always catch you though."
You pursed your lips at him with a tilt of your head. "If I hadn't known better I'd say you're flirting with me, Spider-Man."
Peter felt the heat rush up to his face in a split second. "I-I'm, uh—"
"Whoa," you cut him off once your eyes landed on the gorgeous city of Manhattan but much farther away and wider as you stood on a much higher building. The tall structures that surrounded the scene seemed like toys with their size, the lights that gleamed looking like little specks of stars floating in the air with the Empire State Building right at the middle of it all. "I haven't seen it this high up before," you said, giving him a swift glance before your eyes were back on the scenery. "It's really beautiful."
"Yeah, very beautiful," Peter sighed, brown orbs never leaving your features, his heart thumping in his chest, loud and fast, each beat all for you.
He walked over to where you were stood until your arms were brushing against each other. You spared him a glance, your smile wide and soft in a way that made his heart grow warm. But then you leaned your head on his shoulder and Peter swore he might as well die from a heart attack. If it were you with the enhanced senses, then you would probably catch him out quickly with how frantic and loud each beat his heart was making.
It wasn't new to him of course. You've always been the affectionate kind. And being your best friend, he's always at the receiving end of those affections.
But tonight feels a little different.
The fact that you feel safe around him without having to see his face, when all you see is Spider-Man, it makes his heart melt. The simple fact that you're comfortable when you're near him, that you can feel that you can trust him is really reassuring in a sense. It's like your heart is already familiar with who he is despite your brain—or your eyes—telling you that the person you're standing with right now is a complete stranger.
It feels really special when looking at it in that perspective, it makes Peter feel special.
Sudden boldness coursing through his bones, Peter snaked an arm around your shoulder with a gentle squeeze in the process. It took every ounce of his superhuman strength to keep his legs upright when you inched closer to his side, a soft breath coming out of you, a satisfied one. His eyes glowed with utmost adoration as it traced your features, from the soft smile playing on your lips to the twinkle in those irises as you kept your gaze on the stunning city in front. It baffles him how his heart quickened it's pace even more, just the sight of you in pure bliss. God he was so in love with you and you don't even have an ounce of clue.
Just say it out loud, tell her.
No, I can't. For her, I can't.
"It's getting late. I should probably head back home," you hummed, lifting your head off his shoulder to look at him. Peter nodded, arm dropping to your waist as he crouched down a little, just so you could sling an arm around his shoulder. "No dropping me this time," you warned, narrowing your eyes at him teasingly.
Peter laughed with a nod. "Yes ma'am."
The swing back to your apartment building took no time.
Despite wanting to drag the night out a little longer, Peter knew he can't do that to you when your debate was tomorrow, especially among countless papers and homework he knows you need to get to. Plus, he has his own errands he needs to tend to as well. Both of you landed on the ledge smoothly with you laughing at some bad joke he made. Peter helped you down like the gentle man that he is and giving your hand one last squeeze before he lets it go.
"Thank you for tonight," you said as you turned to his figure that remained standing on the ledge. Nothing but a wide, genuine smile played on your lips as you added, "Everything of tonight."
"Don't mention it," Peter said sweetly. "I had a really great time with you—shit. I hope that doesn't sound creepy or anything but I really did enjoy tonight, you know, our conversation, getting close with you and feeling you close to me while we were swinging...okay, I'll stop talking."
You let out the sweetest giggle that Peter could do nothing but swoon, his eyes softening as he tilted his head at you with the most adoring smile he could ever have the pleasure of wearing.
"I had a great time being close with you, too," you hummed, holding his gaze for a moment before you casted your eyes at the ground shyly. Shifting from your heels and toes, you pointed towards the rooftop door, before timidly meeting his eyes again. "I should probably—"
"Yeah, yeah, of course," Peter chuckled, shooting you a curt nod. "Goodnight, Y/N."
"Goodnight, Spider-Man," you said, swiftly turning around as you went towards the door, giving him one last glance over your shoulder when you pulled it open. He gave you a wave in response, your smile widening before you slipped inside and closed the door right behind you.
Peter had the stupidest, most shit-eating grin on his face that he don't think he could ever wipe off, eyes fluttering close as he spread his arms wide. With a satisfied breath, he slowly leaned backwards, letting gravity take its course as pure euphoria coated every fiber of his being.
Never has he ever felt such joy, freedom and utmost content as Peter lets himself fall.
***
"Hello there."
Peter looked up from his notes only to be met by a set of green eyes, completely taking him by surprise since it wasn't the pair of orbs he was expecting—and really excited—to see. It confused him to the core as to why one of the most popular girls on campus was sitting down right in front of him in the library.
"Hi?" he said, word coming out more as a question than a statement as he furrowed his brows.
"Peter right? Marjorie," she introduced, hand coming across the table to which he shook gingerly.
"Yeah, that's me." Peter smiled shyly, the crease on his forehead deepening the more he raked his brain as to why she's talking to him in the first place. Of course he knows who she is, the whole school does. Hell, he can already hear the whispers of gossip echoing about all because she's sitting right at his table, or as a matter of fact, simply because she's in the room. That's how big of a deal she is.
Marjorie moved forward, both her arms resting on the table with her bust right on top of it, the low cut top she wore doing so little to hide it, cleavage right up his face. Peter was quick to look away with a clear of his throat, eyes trained on his notes as a blush coated his cheeks.
She suddenly brought two fingers under his chin, prompting him to look back up. "Look me in the eyes when I'm talking to you pretty boy," she purred, a sly smirk growing on her lips when his blush deepened. She inched closer until she was fully leaning over the table and into his space, her thumb running across his chin teasingly. Peter's eyes grew wide in downright surprise and confusion, keeping his gaze locked with hers and never looking anywhere else—mostly not looking down—as he swallowed the lump in his throat. "Anyway, I heard you're really smart and I happen to find you really cute too. Not just a pretty face, aren't you Peter. So, I was wondering—"
Peter could feel you coming, hear you even, that all too familiar sound of your giddy and specifically patterned footsteps ringing in his ears. And dare he say it, he could smell your shampoo, the scent gradually growing stronger which was a clear indication that you were getting closer to the library.
He was left downright confused when you only stopped at the door, your heartbeat quickening by a mile as you stilled. Peter grew worried at the uneven sound of your breathing, all shallow and labored, the first thing that happens whenever you're in slight panic. He removed his eyes briefly from the girl across him only to see you turn on your heel in one swift motion and then completely disappearing from sight.
What was wrong? Where were you going?
"I, uh, I'm really sorry but I need to go." Peter quickly pulled his face away from Marjorie's hand, standing up from his seat all while shoving his things in his backpack. "I-It was nice meeting you," he said with a small smile before he sprinted towards the door.
He didn't see you anywhere near the building, didn't see you anywhere on campus at all.
It worried him even more when you ignored his texts and calls for the rest of the day. He knew your schedule but somehow, the moment he reached your class, you were already gone. Or maybe you hadn't even attended class in the first place. There was no other way of him knowing your whereabouts and he was growing really concerned by the second as to what had happened. So, he went with the last option he could think of on finding you quicker.
Peter slipped his mask on with a sigh, the sun already going down when he decided to try and pay you a visit in a very different set of clothes.
***
"Hi."
"What the fu—" You jumped with a yelp as you swiftly turned to face him, hand over your chest to try and calm your heart as you gaped at his masked face. "What are you doing here?"
Three times he's passed your apartment building and you weren't home. But by the fourth try, Peter's worry could only grow some more when he saw you out on the rooftop. You never stay out on the rooftop unless something was deeply bothering you.
"Wanted to know how the debate went," Peter reasoned, not the main agenda but it wasn't entirely a lie either.
"Well, my team won so that's great," you sighed dejectedly, leaning down to rest your elbow on the ledge while your chin landed on your palm.
"You don't seem enthusiastic? You still don't think I'm a friend?"
"No, no, I do now. It's just things in here." You tapped your temple, letting out another sigh when you brought your finger down to your chest, right where your heart is supposed to be and added, "Or in here rather."
Peter frowned. "What's up?"
"Who knew Spider-Man was into gossip," you teased, turning to flash him a small smile.
"Just curios," he hummed with a casual shrugged, settling himself down on the ledge, facing you this time around. "Besides, it's always better to let it out."
"It's just boy problems," you breathed out, eyes back on the orange tinted sky.
Peter felt a lump grow in his throat, heart sinking to his stomach at the thought of you thinking about another guy. He was quick to scold himself, telling his mind not to be selfish as he cleared his throat.
"Hit me."
"Well, there's this boy I like—" you stopped yourself, lips pursed as you started to fidget with your fingers, thinking face that Peter knows so well now in full play. "Actually no, I've been in love with him for as long as I can remember," you admitted.
The ache in Peter's heart grew sharper, painful and overwhelming that he felt his body run cold. His throat grew dry that he could do nothing but nod his head with a hum to tell you he's still following.
"He's amazing, greatest guy I've ever had the pleasure of knowing and he has never failed to show that he cares about me. He's always there for me, whenever he can anyway with his hectic life. And he makes me really happy." A love-struck smile grew on your lips, eyes glowing with adoration, face holding that look of love as you bask in the sunset. The golden glow made you look even more stunning, but Peter wasn't able to fully appreciate your beauty when his mind was too preoccupied with jealous thoughts. But a second later, the joy that's coated your features slowly faded off, now replaced by one with worry.
Peter tried his best to keep his tone steady. Despite having the voice modulator on, he knows it will pick up even the slightest shake and uncertainty. "But?"
"I truly can't figure out if he's acting the way he is because he feels the same way or all of it is just an act of friendship," you paused, taking in a deep breath as you shifted on your feet. "There are moments where I do think it's more but then there are moments where I see him with another girl and I start questioning it again. Like, am I reading things wrong? Am I getting too ahead of myself by thinking he could possibly feel the same way?" You pinched the bridge of your nose in frustration. "I don't even know how to convey my own feelings—"
"You could just tell him," Peter blurted to cut you off, not wanting to hear any more as the piercing pain in his chest could only deepen the more you talk about it. He's already got the drift anyway, no need for you to explain any further.
You turned to look at him fully with furrowed brows. "Just like that?"
Peter nodded. "You are an amazing girl Y/N," he said, nothing but utmost sincerity coating his voice. He just wants you to find someone who's going to make you happy and treat you the way you deserve to be treated. It seems like you've found exactly that, who was he to take that away from you by being bitter? Besides, Peter has long accepted that that someone is never going to be him. "Whoever this guy you're in love with, he's pretty lucky. If he doesn't see that then it's his loss. And if he doesn't feel the same way, then he's not the right guy for you because you deserve someone who'll love you unconditionally."
"You giving out relationship advice now too? A sideline if you're not saving the world?" you joked, only earning a shrug and a soft laugh from him. "But thank you." You flashed him a small but grateful smile.
"Always happy to help," he said. "I better get going, got a city to look after." Peter forced a smile, a useless tactic given that there was no way for you to see it anyway. He stood up to his full height before adding, "Congrats on the debate." He didn't even wait for a response when he swiftly jumped and swung as far away from your building as possible.
The second he landed on top of an abandoned warehouse, Peter immediately pulled his mask off. He couldn’t bear to leave it on a second longer or else he was going to suffocate. Sharp breaths escaped him as his back hit the brick wall, eyes screwed shut to stop any tear from slipping out of his burning eyes. He tried his hardest to calm his frantic heart, to minimize the pain by shoving his selfish thoughts away. He forced himself to think about you and your well-being instead, tried to convince himself that this was a good thing.
He doesn't doubt that this guy you're smitten with is a great one. The way you speak about him just screams it. Add that to you being great at judging character, then he knows you're in good hands. Despite it hurting like a ton of punches in the chest, Peter still hoped that whoever this guy is, he'll catch you in his arms openly and shower you with the truest love because you deserve nothing but. The pain would be worth it if he gets to see you be happy.
Peter knows that whoever this guy is, he would treat you rightly, give you everything you want and need in a way that Peter never could.
Slowly opening his eyes, he lets out a calming breath, mind slowly slipping at ease the more he thinks about how happy, content and safe you'll be with this guy if ever it will work out.
It hurts, unbearably, but his sliver of pain in exchange for your utmost happiness? Then Peter will gladly endure it.
***
The next day, Saturday noon, was when you finally decided to answer Peter's texts from the day before. You apologized for ghosting him, said you got preoccupied and left it at that. And then you asked if he wanted to go for a little stroll in the park, too make it up to him. Peter could never say no to you so here you were, side by side under the afternoon sun, aimlessly walking around a nearly deserted park outskirts of the main city.
"Why'd you disappear yesterday?" he asked, both his hands in his pockets while yours were looped in his. "I saw you stop by at the library but you didn't come and say hi."
You shrugged, eyes trained on the pavement as you kicked at the few rocks that were lying around. "Something came up," you simply said.
Peter can't help but feel a little sting when you didn't elaborate further. Well, he already knew what had happened but that was as Spider-Man. He was hoping you'd tell him too, as Peter Parker, your long time best friend.
"Thank you for the email by the way," you spoke again when he stayed quiet, lifting your head up to spare him a bright smile. "We wouldn't have won the debate if it wasn't for you."
"Winning the debate was all on you and that incredible brain of yours. I'm not going to take credit for that," he chuckled as he shot you a knowing look. Eyes back in front, Peter added, "But I'm always here to help. That's what best friends are for."
You hummed, letting go of his arm as you skipped ahead and treaded towards the nearest tree. "What's up with you and Marjorie?" you asked, settling down on the grass, legs straight with your right ankle over you left as you leaned back against the trunk comfortably.
"What's up with what?" Peter followed you with a deep crease between his brows, sitting right beside you soon after, mirroring your position under the shade.
"You tell me, you were almost kissing when I saw you in the library so," you trailed off, picking at the shreds of greenery, throwing it purposelessly as you still avoided his gaze. "Are you two a thing now?"
Peter shook his head with a roll of his eyes. "First off, we were not almost kissing and second, no, we're not a thing," he clarified, head turned for him to see you clearly. "I didn't even get to hear what she wanted because I immediately left," he chuckled.
Your eyes snapped up to meet his. "You bailed on her in the library?"
"Sort of?" Peter scrunched his nose.
"That's a very bold move, Parker," you giggled, bumping your shoulder with his teasingly. "Most guys would've died to just be in the same room as her."
Peter let out a hearty laugh, shrugging his shoulders and said, "Well, I guess I'm not like most guys."
Marjorie was pretty, Peter won't deny that, but she could never amount to you. Even right now, when you're just sitting beside him in casual jeans and sweater, a simple but very charming smile on your lips as you looked up at the clouds, Peter was already swooning ten times over. Then comes the memory of you looking so breathtaking while he took you around the city. The stunning glow on your face as you stared at the scene in awe was still deeply engraved in Peter's mind, and he knows for a fact that that image will never leave him. Not that he was complaining anyway.
"So, how did your meeting with Spider-Man go?" he asked after a few moments of silence. A shy smile slowly grew on your lips, one that made Peter lift a brow at you in suspicion.
"He's really cool," you breathed out, your grin growing wider as you kept your gaze steadily trained at the blue sky. "He's a gentleman too, a little shy and awkward but in a cute way. Plus, very wise and smart, like lived-a-life wise and genius smart. He then took me to swing around the city which was awesome," you gushed, a dreamy glow coating your face as you met Peter's eyes. "That night is going to be a night I'll remember for the rest of my life for sure."
Peter couldn't help the smug grin that grew on his face. "If I hadn't known better I'd say you have a crush on Spider-Man," he teased, wriggling his brows at you.
"Shut up," you scoffed with a roll of your eyes.
"It's obvious. You have that dreamy look on your face when you talk about him," he poked even more, nudging you with his elbow playfully.
"No, I don't," you laughed as you pushed him away. "Besides, I've got my eyes on someone else already."
Peter's heart sunk.
He found himself playing with the sleeves of his hoodie as he avoided your gaze, trying his hardest to keep his feelings at bay before you'd notice the change in his demeanor. "Care to share with your best friend?" he offered, wondering if you're finally willing to tell him about this mystery guy.
You stayed quiet, eyes fluttering close as you rested your head on his shoulder. Peter kept his gaze steady on you, everything else silent aside from the sound of the rustling leaves of the tree. But then you let out a nervous breath, heartbeat picking up the pace in a way that made Peter grow curious as to what's on your mind.
"I love you," you blurted out of the blue, a slight shake in your voice as you kept your eyes shut.
Although confused, Peter responded, "I love you too—"
"No, Peter," you paused, shifting in your place, pulling away from him as you sat up straighter. You finally met his brown orbs, all while countless of emotions swam in yours. "I love you," you whispered but with your voice firm and laced with pure sincerity, eyes holding his with such intensity that he quickly understood.
Peter stared at you in shock.
Slowly, but surely, everything started to click inside his head. The confession you shared with Spider-Man. When you said you'd seen this guy with another girl...the library. Was that why you quickly ran out? When you saw...almost kissing. Was that the reason why your heart suddenly grew at panic?
The guy you were gushing about so fondly, the same one you said you were in love with for a long time now, the one Peter was growing jealous of...it was him.
You were talking about him, Peter Parker.
He grew at a loss for words as he gawked at you, a smile growing on his lips as he felt his heart stop its course and then beat again but with twice the pace. Peter was so happy, over the universe as pure warmth filled him up from head to toe. The mere thought that you felt the same, it was too good to be true. But it was, he can see it clear in your eyes, it was real.
You love him.
But then his mood was quick to shift, smile slipping off his face, the warmth and joy that coated his bones replaced by fear and worry in a snap of a finger.
Peter's heart stopped at the sight in front of him.
You were getting held at knifepoint by the throat, tears brimming in your eyes, more of it coating your cheeks as you clawed at the arm that trapped you in their vise hold.
"P-Peter, I love you," you whimpered, gaze locking with his, hope slipping out of your orbs, the glow they once held getting dimmer by the second in a way that made a shiver run down his spine. Then Peter heard it, that piercing cackle he knew too well, his brown eyes meeting the yellow ones that glowed right behind you.
"You won't be able to save the love of your life, Spider-Man...or should I say, Peter Parker!"
Peter shook his head frantically as he yelled out your name, running at full speed to get to you only to be met by sudden darkness, your heart wrenching scream ringing in his ears followed by an agonizing sound of a body hitting the floor. Peter's blood ran cold as he frantically called out your name, over and over and over yet nothing but eerie silence echoed back at him.
And then he looked down, eyes landing on his trembling hands, each finger, both palms coated with blood, your blood.
You were gone.
"No, no, no," Peter rushed, voice quivering, hastily getting up on his feet as he looked at you worryingly. "You can't, Y/N. You can't love me."
It's not safe for you to love me.
The look of pure pain that ghosted over you features squeezed at Peter's heart, the pit in his stomach ever growing the more he thought of what he was about to do.
You stood up shakily to be level with him, deep frown on your lips, confusion and hurt swimming in your eyes as you asked, "Why'd you seem disgusted? You could just say you don't feel the same way."
"N-No, it's not that, neither of that because—" he sucked in a sharp breath, a hand running through his hair as he stared into your eyes longingly. "I do feel the same way about you."
You screwed your eyes shut as you shook your head. "Please don't lie to make me feel better, Peter," you pleaded, the break in your voice a sharp stab at his chest.
"When have I ever lied to you?" Peter internally winced at his bold and very false claim. Nothing but guilt filled his stomach given that he lies to you almost every day. He lies to you about his whereabouts, lies to you about his reasons. Peter lies to you every goddamn day by not telling you he's Spider-Man.
"Then why are your actions speaking something else then?" You gestured towards him as a whole, at the obvious distance that he's put between you two. Your eyes were slowly glossing up as you tried to simply understand what was going on.
Peter sighed, "I just don't want to hurt you okay? I—I don't want you to lose faith on the things you love because of me."
I don't want you to lose your life because of me.
"You're not making any sense," you said frustratedly.
"I'm not qualified to be a good boyfriend, Y/N. I won't be there with you all the time. I'd probably cancel on you on so many dates," Peter paused, meeting your eyes so you could see where he was coming from. "Hell, how many times have I bailed on you right now as your best friend huh? The amount of times I've left you on the street to go home alone?"
Your frown deepened as you held his eyes with nothing but sadness. "You had things going on Peter. You're being really unfair on yourself," you said.
"But you still don't deserve to be treated like that. Not now, not ever, no matter the reason," he pushed. "You deserve all those romantic clichés you're always dreaming of, you deserve to be treated like the queen that you are. You deserve the whole world Y/N, but I won't be able to give you that." Peter's voice broke, eyes holding too many emotions as he kept his gaze steady with yours. A painful task with all the pain and betrayal that's coated your eyes, utmost hurt glaring right at him. "Being with me won't be a fairytale."
Peter wasn't ignorant to the fact that you were a hopeless romantic. The countless rom-coms you've watched together have long ago proved that. The specific look in your eyes, that certain glimmer that washes over your face whenever the couple would kiss under the snow or even in the rain, or whenever they'd go on romantic walks on the beach or simply be in each other's arm whenever it's needed, Peter has memorized it. The little changes in your face whenever you see those clichés, he knows it like the back of his hand, knows how you're craving that kind of simple but true love.
But Peter can't give you any of that. Not right now.
"But I don't want a fairytale. I want to be with you. I don't care if we don't get to do any romantic clichés, being with you would surpass all of that, being with you would be more than enough. And I'm willing to try and make it work with whatever you've got going on, even if I have to make sacrifices in the process. Why can't you see that Peter?" you argued, hands clenched into fists on your sides in mere frustration.
Peter winced, the word sacrifice too heavy for him to hear. It was too painful to even fathom what you would possibly sacrifice for him, that you would probably even sacrifice all of it for him, including your life.
"No, no, please don't," he begged. "I don't want you to sacrifice anything for me. I would never want you to sacrifice those little things that make you smile. I don't want you to sacrifice your happiness for me." Peter shook his head in utter distress, palm rubbing at his face harshly that had the tip of his nose turn red. "And what happens then if it doesn't work? You'll only get disappointed. You'll only end up hating me. By then, I would have already put you through so much hurt all for nothing. I don't want that for you, Y/N."
"How'd you know that when you haven't even tried?" you whispered, bottom lip trembling. "It's like you're not even willing to try," you whimpered.
The second Peter saw the single tear that ran down your cheek he instinctively moved closer, hands reaching out, desperate to hold you, to get to tell you it's going to be alright, to apologize over and over for all the pain he has caused. But you stopped him with the palm of your hand. He felt his heart drop the moment you took a step back, shaking your head, bottom lip desperately caught between your teeth to silence your sobs.
Peter nodded gravely, his arms falling limp by his sides, fully understanding that you don't want him near. He doesn't blame you by one bit. "It's not that I'm not willing to, I just," he paused as he let out a shaky breath. "I don't trust myself to be with you. I don't trust myself with your heart because I know I will only end up breaking it. I'll only let you down." I don't trust myself to keep you safe from harm. I'll only fail you just like how I failed them. Peter confessed, brown orbs turning glossy, all from a mixture of pain and anger. He was so angry at himself for putting you through all this hurt, you don't deserve it, not even a single ounce of it.
Yes, he can try, see where this will go and do his best to be there for you at all times. But that's not set on stone, never a clear promise because he doesn't know what his tomorrow is going to bring. He doesn't know if he's staying in the neighborhood one minute and then entering another dimension the next. Being Spider-Man, he doesn't have a schedule where Peter can organize things as a matter of priority, being Spider-Man requires its own sets of sacrifices. Peter doesn't want you to feel the burden of those sacrifices, too.
He doesn't doubt that you would be understanding enough with whatever it is he has going on but that's exactly the problem. He knows you'll take the bare minimum, you'll put him first above your wants and needs. You're just too kind that way, too big of a heart. But Peter can't have that because it's just not right; it's not what you should settle for. You deserve all the dates, all the romantic walks, all the cuddles and kisses whenever you're down, all the stress free nights where you don't have to worry about him or wait for him to come back to you safe and unharmed, all the time and effort, you deserve all of it and more.
And right now, Peter can't give you what you deserve.
"Or maybe you just don't love me in the way you say you do," you accused, voice soft but the sting in it sharp.
"That's not fucking true because I love you with every ounce of my being," he protested in low growl, desperately tugging at his hair, frustrated that he can't tell you his full reasons as to why exactly he can't be with you. "I love you too much and I want to be with you so badly—"
"Then why is that not enough?" you stressed.
"You don't understand—"
"Then make me understand!" you snapped, tears running freely down your face as you looked at him with utmost despair.
"It's not that fucking simple Y/N!" Peter saw you flinch at the sudden boom of his voice, his heart cracking at the sight. He felt everything in him gradually break the more you stared at him with nothing but anguish. He took in a deep breath to calm himself before he slips out any words that he'll only regret later on. Blowing out his cheeks, he croaked, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I just—"
Peter tried again and walked closer to you, trembling hands slowly reaching in mere need to feel your skin on his to ground him back, relief washing over him when you let him. He felt his heart warm up a little when you didn't pull away from his touch. But the broken sob you let out when he cupped your face, it was too excruciating for him to hear. The agonizing grip on Peter's heart tightened as he stared right into your eyes, the same ones that once held so much joy but was now flooded with tears and grief, their gorgeous glow snuffed out, all because of him.
"I'm just trying to protect you, please, trust me on that," he whispered, not even trying to hide the brokenness in his voice anymore, not even trying to hold back his tears as Peter pressed his forehead against yours.
The little droplets fell down on your face, his tears joining yours on your already damp skin. His thumb oh so tenderly tried to wipe them all away, wishing that it was as easy as that to ease up your pain, to take away your hurt so simply, but he knows it wasn't. It wasn't an easy choice and Peter knows it never will be.
"I love you so much, don't you ever, ever doubt that. B-But we can't. I'm really sorry Y/N, but we can't be together. I-I know this hurts right now, trust me, I know, but I will only make it much worse," he choked, shaking his head when you leaned into his palm with a broken breath. But you kept your eyes open, held his gaze with utter strength and Peter saw it, saw how you still looked at him with love in your eyes. Despite it being mixed with pain, it was there, clear and honest. God he did not fucking deserve you at all.
"You deserve someone who'd treat you the way you deserve to be treated, someone who'd truly show you how it feels to be loved completely and not just the bare minimum. You deserve someone who'd be so much better than me." Peter's voice broke at the end of his sentence, eyes still holding yours just so you could see the other things he can't put into words, the things he couldn't say aloud. He was desperately, silently pleading that you would see right through him, so you could understand why he has to do this. "Maybe in another life, we could make this work. But right now I'm asking, begging you not to love me, because I don't deserve that love, I don't deserve you at all."
Peter practically saw your heart shatter into pieces even more with the simple look in your eyes. It's an absolute torture to look into them right now, to see you be so broken that he found himself wishing that it was only him in pain instead. Even though the thought hurts, he wished you didn't love him. Even though it would be painful to endure, to live in a world where his feelings aren't reciprocated, Peter wished you didn't love him at all if it meant it was going to save you from heartbreak.
Better him in pain than you, always.
Breath unsteady, you closed your eyes with a small nod. "I guess this is it," you sniffled, placing your hands over his, your touch tender as you gave it a squeeze. But then you pulled it away from your face, Peter's hands slipping off your skin as you put some much needed distance between you two.
"Y/N—"
"I don't think we can go back to the way things were after this Peter. I'm sorry I just—I don't think I can handle it." You shook your head with a soft cry, forcing yourself to look back into those brown orbs as you whispered, "I can’t take it."
Peter pressed his lips into a thin line, eyes casted on the grass with a solemn nod as he croaked out, "Then I guess this is it."
"Goodbye, Peter."
He screwed his eyes shut at the sound of your broken voice, the heartbreaking sob that followed soon after made him let out a shaky breath. The sound of your footsteps felt like gunshots, each step taken like a bullet wounding him deep but Peter didn't dare to respond, didn't even dare to look up as you briskly walked away.
Peter had to keep his head down because he didn't have enough strength, didn't have the sense of control to stay still in his place. He knows that if he does as much as look up and catch your figure, he'll run after you, full speed. He'll pull you back into his arms; he'll pour all his love into one kiss as he holds you tightly. He'll keep you in his embrace for eternity the moment he gives in into his selfish needs. But he shouldn't. He needs to let you go, he has to let you walk away, for your sake.
The farther the sound of your footsteps got, the tighter his fists grew, fingernails digging into his palms as his breathing became labored, harsh. Peter swiftly turned around and took a hard swing at the tree once you were gone, glad that no one was around to see the whole thing shake from his strength. The bark cracked under his knuckle, leaves falling around him just as his knees gave out. A sharp, broken, frustrated scream escaped his lips as he buried his face in his hands, body shaking with all the anger and pain, trembling from his heart wrenching sobs.
Peter felt like his lungs were about to give out, emotions overflowing and scorching all while feeling numb just the same. But he kept reminding himself why he's doing this for him to get by, kept telling himself that being far apart was for the best.
For your sake.
***
The wind was cold on your face as you stood out on the rooftop to escape. The night breeze was slowly drying up your tears, much to no use since it's replaced by fresh ones the second after anyway. You don't know how long you've been crying for, but it wouldn't really matter. Your tears could run out but the pain in your heart could only deepen with each ticking second.
You were worried, angry, hurt, frustrated and confused all the same, unable to tie everything together as it all just seemed like a whole jumbled mess in your head, an incomplete puzzle.
You're not naïve to think that there wasn't more to this than he's letting on. You know he was hiding bits and pieces, his words completely restrained. You saw it in his eyes how he was battling his mind. You saw how he was struggling to not slip out whatever it was he was holding back. It was painful, all of it, from seeing him so distressed to him breaking your heart with his care-filled yet hurtful words.
You get where he's coming from, about wanting you to experience it all and more and not just the bare minimum. If it was a different circumstance, the things he said would've been sweet, how he wants you to have the world, how he wants you to live all those clichés just so he could see you smile, see you be happy. But right now, his words just felt bittersweet since you lost him in the process.
All those days of imagining all the different scenarios on what it would look like, how it would feel when he admits he feels the same way, not once did you ever expect that Peter Parker saying he loves you would feel like a knife to the heart.
What hurts even more is the fact that he is so keen on shutting any chance, and sliver of hope down. He won't even try, like you're not worth any risks at all. It makes you question how important you actually are to him, makes you question if he really does love you in the way he claims he does.
"Ahem."
"Shit!" you squeaked, head snapping towards the squatted figure, eyes landing on the familiar masked man who seemed to like the element of surprise. "You need to stop doing that!"
"Sorry, should've given you a heads up," he apologized, voice sounding a little hoarse, a little...different.
"No shit," you grumbled, hastily wiping away your tears with the sleeves of your sweater before you turned back to face him. "What's brought you here?"
"Was just in the neighborhood, saw you out here and I thought I'd swing by," he said with a casual shrug, gaze steady on the building across. You did just the same as you turned back in front, fingers drumming on the concrete ledge as you stood in silence for a couple minutes, his company soothing in some odd way. But you welcome it, makes you feel more present, stopping you from slipping neck deep into the chaos that's in your head.
"You okay? You seem a bit down," he said, voice still a little gruff, eyes everywhere else but at you.
"Well, I guess you can say that," you breathed out.
"Want to talk about it?"
You bit your bottom lip when it started to tremble, a fresh batch of tears brimming in your eyes. "I told him," you whispered. "You know that friend I talked to you about? I told him I'm in love with him and he wasn't too happy with it. He pushed me away, I���" You shook your head with a shaky breath, eyes now trained on the busy street below. You swallowed the lump in your throat before adding, "He said he loved me but he pushed me away."
The superhero beside you cleared out his throat, shifting in his place until he was fully seated down, his legs hanging off the side of the building. "Did he tell you why?"
"He said he wouldn't be a good boyfriend and that he won't be there for me when I need him. He said I deserved better, which doesn't make any sense because he's already been doing that, being there for me. And I have no doubt he'd treat me rightly but he doesn't seem to believe that himself," you whimpered, harshly wiping away the tears that rushed out your eyes, not wanting to seem pathetic for a boy, not to seem weak in front of the masked hero.
"Hey, you don't have to act all tough for me," he reassured, hand coming up to give your shoulder a comforting squeeze for a short but sweet moment. "It's okay to cry, it doesn't mean you're weak."
You nodded, grateful for his understanding, flashing him a sad smile for a second before you stared back at the city. "And I get he's got a lot going on, I do too but what's painful is that he's not even willing to try and see if it would work or not. It hurts to think that I'm willing to try and make ends meet, that I would do anything to be with him, but he won't do the same for me. It makes me feel like I'm not worth fighting for, that I'm not enough."
"That's not true, Y/N," he whispered, almost as if didn't want you to hear it, your brows furrowing a little as you spared him a glance. He was already looking at you but the second your eyes landed on his face, he swiftly looked away. "What else did he say?" he asked swiftly, voice louder with a clear of his throat.
"He said he can't be with me because he didn't want to hurt me which sounds so fucking stupid since he's hurting me now. Really badly," you whimpered, bottom lip quivering as you screwed your eyes shut, taking in deep calming breaths, steadying yourself before you opened them again.
"Maybe he is just trying to look out for you," he started, head tilted to the side as he looked at you with a shaky breath. "Sometimes the best way to protect someone is to keep them at a safe distance, to not get too close to them, both physically but mostly emotionally."
You frowned, gaze landing back on the white fabric that's covered his eyes. "You do that too? Push people away?"
"I don't want to but I have to," he sighed, looking down at his hands like they were too heavy, like they hold so much weight over his life, caused him so much trouble and pain. He stared at them for a few seconds more before his fingers started to pick at his web shooters. "It's the best way to keep the people I care about safe."
"Because of all the bad guys chasing after you?"
He let out a soft chuckle as he nodded. "Yeah, you could say that."
You turned to face him fully, deep frown still etched on your lips as you crossed your arms over your chest. "Does that not get lonely?"
"It does." He nodded dejectedly, his eyes still looking elsewhere. "But it's better than seeing the ones I love get hurt because of the sole reason that they love me and that I love them just as much, if not more. Once they find out who I am, they're going to use that against me. They will always use that against me." The pain and hurt that coated his voice in his last sentence, you heard it loud and clear, makes you wonder what hardships he could've gone through to feel this way. "I think it's best to keep them away from this side of my world. I admit, it's really hard for me to stay away but I just keep reminding myself that all I'm doing is trying to keep them safe as much as I can," he paused, turning his head to finally look at you and you felt your heart stop at his next set of words.
"I'm just trying to protect them."
You felt as though that the clouds cleared up above your head, the puzzle pieces falling into place, completing itself as you slowly and finally tied everything together.
All those times he's suddenly in a rush to leave with a half-assed reason, the times where you'd catch a glimpse of the random cuts and bruises he had on his body, it all became so clear. And the night you first met Spider-Man, that odd feeling you had when he squeezed your hand the first time, it finally made sense. That same night, you felt as though you were crazy when you found yourself gravitating towards a complete stranger, a masked superhero at that. You found it ridiculous how you felt like you could trust him right off the bat. When you felt a vast feeling of being safe around him in so little time, initially you told yourself that it wasn't a good thing, that it was dangerous and you should tread carefully, but now the feeling just felt awfully familiar.
That's when you fully understood everything. The knots in your head gradually untangled itself as you gawked at him, mouth slightly agape in pure shock, tears welling up in your eyes for a different reason this time. All the things he's been through, all the pain and grief from the people he's lost, the weight that the world has put on his shoulders, it made your heartbreak. It made you feel so guilty that you weren't there for him through all that.
A new found weight settled itself in your chest because as you stared right at the mask, you saw him.
"Well, I need to go. You know, got a city to look after," he chuckled shyly as he looked away, his voice sounding starkly different from the previous encounters as it now held a sense of familiarity. "See you later."
With that, he jumped off, your eyes following the red in blue under the night sky, gradually getting smaller until disappearing from sight.
You smiled, a small one, didn't quite reach your ears but it was genuine. Your heart was still aching, mostly for him than for you, but it was also now filled with the greatest pride as you whispered, just under your breath,
"See you later, Peter Parker."
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