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punkshort · 1 year ago

Text

Chapter warnings: language, violence, angst

A/N: I have very little knowledge of the NYC subway system, or the NYC landscape, really (I've only been there once). Just use your imagination lol it's fiction!

Chapter Nine

Pairing: Joel x F!Reader, pre-outbreak and post outbreak

AU (the only thing I kept was the outbreak, Joel, and Tommy's characters. Joel's backstory is different, and the way he finds Jackson is different. I may include Ellie one day, I just haven't planned that far)

Fic Summary: You worked for Joel and Tommy a few months before the outbreak. The outbreak happens, and you and Joel get stuck traveling the country and keeping each other safe. Neither of you spoke about the feelings you had for one another pre-outbreak, and in a post-apocalyptic world, it seems like survival should be your only focus. But feelings can't be ignored forever.

Fic tags: Explicit Smut (18+ MDNI), Smut, Language, Canon-Typical Violence, Alcohol Use, Age Difference (Reader is 10 years younger than Joel), slow burn, mutual pining, angst, trauma, SA referencing later but I will put a big warning on those chapters

You sat perched on a couch in the living room while Joel tended to the body in the kitchen, but only after he confirmed you were alone. You felt numb, like there was an aching hole in your chest about to destroy you. Staring at the ground with your jaw slack, you rocked back and forth with your knees pressed to your chest, reliving the murder you just committed. His blood was warm and sticky over your face and chest as you drove the heavy statue into his skull repeatedly, brain matter spattering out on the floor. You remembered slipping in the blood when you had to shift your weight and get better leverage. You remembered the helpless moans and gurgles the man made in the beginning, before the fourth or fifth strike put an end to him. But you had kept going, kept crushing his face until he was unrecognizable. You had no idea you could do something so savage, so brutally unhinged, and you were terrified. The only other time you could recall feeling that type of rage was in Joel’s office a week ago. But even then, you were just mad. This was different. This was violent and sick. You felt your stomach churn and you glanced around frantically under the light of a lantern to find a receptacle. You spotted a garbage can under a desk at the side of the room, and you made it just in time, kneeling on the floor and heaving into the basket.

Hearing the noises from the kitchen, Joel reappeared in the living room, quickly wiping his hands of blood before you saw. Once you had stopped and leaned back, Joel took a few tentative steps forward. “You alright?” he asked, fully aware how ridiculous the question was, but he didn’t know what else to say.

All you could do was shake your head, then you buried your face in your hands, trying to hold back the next wave of tears. Joel picked up your canteen from the side of the couch and brought it over. You took a small sip before screwing the lid back on. You couldn’t bring yourself to look at him.

“I’m going to jail,” you whispered, your voice shaky. “What am I going to do, Joel?”

He shook his head, sitting down on the floor next to you. “You ain’t goin’ to jail. I don’t think that’s the world we live in anymore.” He finally got a good look at you for the first time. You were covered in blood, your clothes were ruined, your face only clean where your tears washed away the carnage. He stood up and headed back to the pantry, which now was home to two dead bodies shoved against the far wall under a sheet. He reached down to the packs of unopened water bottles and grabbed as many as he could carry. Joel stood up and was about to exit when he remembered the gun. He put the water bottles on the kitchen island and dug the gun out from under the groceries on the floor. He opened the chamber and confirmed it was fully loaded before tucking it into the back of his pants.

He returned to you with the bottles of water in his arms. "Why don't you go wash up and change your clothes? I got some water here, and I'll get you some towels, then you should really try to get some sleep."

You didn't feel like moving, but Joel was right. Smelling the coppery blood and feeling how tight it made your skin as it dried was a sensory nightmare. You stood up wordlessly and headed back towards his bedroom, while Joel followed behind you with the water. You walked into the bathroom and stood in the middle of the huge room you once envied, but now you were struggling to feel anything at all. Joel brought the lanterns in for you and opened the shower door, setting the water bottles down on a bench. He turned around and opened the linen closet, pulling out a few towels, wash cloths and a basin. He set all the supplies on the counter and faced you, still standing and staring.

"Do you," he cleared his throat, "do you need help, or...?" He trailed off, unsure what to do for you. He just hoped getting clean and some sleep will help.

You shook your head, but before he left you asked quietly, "Can you bring my pack in here? My clothes-"

"Right, 'course, yeah, hold on," he hurried out to the bedroom and brought your pack to you. "Holler if you need anythin'." And he shut the door behind him.

You sighed, dragging your weakened form over to the basin, grabbing it along with the washcloths and putting them alongside the water in the walk-in shower. You peeled your shirt off, soaked in so much blood that it made a wet noise as it lifted from your skin. You weren't sure where to put your clothes, so you balled them up and put them in one of the two sinks. You stepped into the shower and filled the basin with a few bottles of water, deciding to dip your hair in first to scrub the dried blood out. You reached up and grabbed Joel's shampoo that smelled clean and fresh, like oranges. The scent lifted your spirits a small fraction until you moved one of the lanterns over to the basin of dirty water and saw just how red it was. You felt your stomach roll again, but this time you held it together and moved the light away, dumping the water down the drain and refilled it to rinse your hair.

You completed this process as you made your way down, scrubbing your face and ears until you felt raw, then your arms, chest and hands. Your lower half wasn't in bad shape, but your fingernails were the worst part. You did your best, but there was still a little bit of blood stuck under them when you had finished.

You wrapped your hair up in one of the big towels Joel gave you and wrapped the other around your body. You stood there for a few moments, staring at yourself in the mirror under the light of the lanterns, feeling numb and tired. You didn't think you would be able to sleep earlier, but it turned out your body was exhausted. You felt weak as you picked some clothes out of your pack and pulled them on, quickly drying your hair and hanging the towels up before opening the bathroom door.

Joel was waiting at attention on the other side of the door the entire time you cleaned up, in case you needed something. He stood when you opened the door, pleased to see you had scrubbed all the blood off and looked more like yourself, but when his eyes met yours, he didn't see the light in them anymore. His chest tightened, hating himself for putting you through this. You stood before him, unsure of yourself, glancing around the room.

"Let's sleep in the living room, would that make you feel better?" he asked you. You nodded, and he grabbed the pillows and blankets off the bed before heading down the hall back to the couches. He made a makeshift bed on a couch for each of you, and you eagerly buried yourself under the blanket, your eyelids getting heavy. Before you fell asleep, you remembered your clothes in the bathroom.

"Joel?" you whispered, your voice crackling from disuse. He immediately sat up from the couch across from you.

"What d'you need?" he asked.

"My clothes, they're in your sink, I wasn't sure what to do with them."

"Oh, right, I'll get rid of 'em, you go to sleep I'll be right back."

You didn't have to be told twice, sliding your eyes shut as a restless sleep overtook you. Joel got a trash bag and a few more bottles of water from the pantry. He got to work bagging up the empty bottles of water and your bloodied clothes, then did his best to wash the shower and sink of any remaining blood so you didn't have to see it in the morning. When he returned, after throwing the bag of garbage in the pantry with the dead bodies, you were fast asleep.

He laid on his couch, berating himself over and over for letting this happen. Had he not been so goddamn distracted with thoughts of fucking you, he would have heard the intruders and maybe got the jump on them before you even woke up. Or maybe his distracted thoughts keeping him awake was what saved you both. He would never know, but what he did know was you were put in that position because he wasn't careful. He should have been quieter, he should have grabbed the gun, he should have expected a second intruder. When he inspected the apartment after he calmed you down, he saw they had jimmied open the lock on his door. He had no idea how they did it so quietly. Maybe had he gone right to bed, he wouldn't have heard anything, and you would both be dead.

He rubbed his hands up and down his face roughly, agitated, feeling helpless and riddled with guilt. These feelings for you had to stop. Tonight was a close call, and he wasn't going to risk anything happening again. His sole focus had to be just on your safety and survival going forward.

He shut his eyes, desperately trying to get a few hours of sleep before another long day tomorrow.

Both of you woke up a little later than you had intended, but given the events from last night, Joel figured you both could have used the sleep. You still weren't saying much, but your face looked like it had a little bit more color to it, and he hoped that meant you were coming around. Joel grabbed another armful of water bottles from the pantry, the smell of the bodies beginning to fester in the closed room, and used them to refill your canteens and wash up once more before your long journey. He unpacked the clothes he had stolen from your neighbors and repacked clothes that he picked out of his closet, in the process also grabbing a few smaller t-shirts that didn't quite fit him anymore to offer to you, since you had to get rid of one of your own. When he walked back into his living room, he saw you leaning over and examining some framed photos on a sofa table against the wall, running your finger over the frames and faces in the photos.

Joel cleared his throat to announce his presence, and you jumped back guiltily, spinning around to face him.

"Those are all old pictures, like I said before, I'm terrible at changing 'em out," Joel said, trying to draw you out more. You gave him a weak smile.

"You and Tommy looked so young in some of these."

He smiled, pleased that you were warming up a bit, and walked over to look at the pictures. He frowned slightly when he saw the same picture from the rodeo that he had hanging in his office, completely forgetting he still had it out. But you pointed to an older portrait instead.

"Are these your parents?"

Joel nodded and picked the picture up to look at it more closely. It was his parents on their wedding day. The picture was faded but he could still see the warmth and happiness in their eyes.

"They passed some years ago," he said, placing the picture down gently, "heart attack and lung cancer. Within a year of each other," Joel said softly.

You hummed apologetically, your eyes glancing over the rest of the frames before landing on the one at the rodeo. You opened your mouth to ask but remembered what Colleen had mentioned about an ex-fiancée, so you stopped yourself, but Joel saw where your gaze landed. He picked up the picture and looked at it wistfully.

"That was a fun night, rodeo up in Dallas. Tommy got so drunk we had to keep him from goin' down in the ring and jumpin' on one of those bulls himself," Joel chuckled.

You smiled, and still avoided bringing up the third person in the picture, but he answered the question for you anyway.

"That's Amy," he began, smile faded from his face, "we, uh, we were engaged. Didn't work out. Caught her cheatin' on me." He placed the picture back on the table.

"I'm sorry, Joel," you whispered, genuinely apologetic for feeling like he had to share that with you. He shook his head and turned back to the kitchen.

"Let me get you somethin' to eat before we head out, I'll bring out different things to pick from," he said.

Joel headed towards the kitchen, not realizing you were on his heels. He did his best to clean up the blood from the night before, but it was dark, and his resources were limited. There were still some stains in the grout of the tile and on the oak cabinet. You balked when you entered the room, somehow momentarily forgetting you killed a person less than 12 hours ago.

"I'm sorry, I did the best I could. Go back in the living room, I'll bring you somethin' to eat." Joel said, turning you away by the shoulders and giving you a gentle push in the opposite direction.

"Don't be sorry, Joel. You saved us last night," you said over your shoulder.

He paused, not sure how to approach the topic with you for the first time, worried he would upset you further.

"No, you saved us, and you shouldn't've had to do that," he said firmly.

You turned back around to face him, this time unphased by the blood stains he had tried to hide, looked him right in the eye.

"Us or them, remember?"

The two of you stared at each other for a minute, something shifting. There was a mutual understanding before, but now it had been solidified with your actions. It was one thing to say the words, but another to follow through. You had both killed somebody yesterday in order to save the other.

You each ate handfuls of trail mix, peanut butter crackers, and dry cereal before Joel restocked your packs with whatever food could fit, making sure to jam in a couple cans of Beefaroni in his own pack. Before hitting the road, he went to the spare closet where he kept his gun safe. You hadn't noticed it in the dark when you arrived the night before. He unlocked the safe, and pulled out a rifle, a shotgun, and a small handgun, the latter of which he handed to you. You offered to hold one of the long guns as well, not wanting Joel to be burdened, and he reluctantly agreed, handing you the rifle. When he leaned forward into the safe you saw he already had a revolver tucked into the back of his pants. You almost asked him about it but figured it out on your own: the men you killed must have been armed.

"I didn't realize you were a hunter," you said, shouldering the rifle on your back.

"I'm not. Well, not really. Some of the clients Tommy signed tended to be more the "outdoorsy" type, so we would take 'em on hunting trips or shoot skeet," Joel explained, pulling the shotgun over his shoulder before adding, "Didn't bother me much, I'd rather shoot than play golf."

Joel didn't have much ammo, but he packed whatever he had into both of your packs, which were now filled to the brim. Grateful he was able to trade out his borrowed sneakers for his own boots, he laced them up as you slid your hiking boots back on and headed out towards the stairwell on your journey.

The pair of you made your way back down into the subway without any issue, feeling a bit more confident now that you were armed. You stopped for just a few minutes to check in with Josie and Peter's group. They were happy to see you had made it. Neither of you mentioned the events that took place the night before, both eager to put it behind you.

It took you a few hours to walk all the way to the end of the subway, as far as it would take you this time so that when you emerged, you wouldn't be on the streets for too long. You didn't speak much, and Joel was becoming a little worried, but he wasn't sure if there was anything he could do to fix it. He just kept trying to pull you out of your thoughts, asking you a question here or there, but your replies were quiet and short.

You decided to take a break before emerging from the tunnel and sat to eat on the last platform. You kept your eyes glued to the grimy subway tile floor as you munched slowly on a protein bar and some dried fruit. Joel sat next to you watching your unwavering gaze and mechanical movements while you ate, and he couldn't take it anymore. He dusted his hands on the side of his pants and sighed, getting your attention briefly before you returned to your food.

"I think we should talk about it," Joel said, and you paused your chewing, considering a response before ultimately deciding to ignore him.

"Listen," he sighed, leaning forward with his elbows resting on his knees. "I'm not gonna sugarcoat this for you. Once we get out there, it's only gonna get worse. I can't promise somethin' like that won't happen again, but I'll do my best to keep you safe and get you to your parents."

You weren't sure why that angered you so much. It was probably all the pent-up emotions from the past several hours that boiled over, but you didn't care, so you shot your eyes up to glare at him.

"You think I don't know it's going to be worse, Joel? I'm not stupid," you snapped, furrowing your brow. "It doesn't mean I'm going to be okay with killing people."

"And you think I'm feelin' good about it?" he shouted, making you jump. "This ain't exactly what I had in mind a week ago."

He stood, his jaw clenched and his hands combing roughly through his hair as he paced around the platform. You stood up now, too. You realized the anger coursing through you had replaced the sadness, and in an effort to keep it at bay, chose to keep spurring Joel on.

"Don't put words in my mouth, that's not what I said!" you yelled back at him, finally feeling a spark breaking through the numbness inside, like ice being cracked. "No one appointed you to be my guardian, I can take care of myself. You think I don't know you're just helping me because you feel bad? I don't need your fucking pity, Joel, I can do this myself!"

You could feel your heart pounding in your chest and your hands began to shake, but most importantly the numbness inside was breaking up. Your face felt hot with anger, and you trained your gaze onto his when he whipped around to glare at you as you continued to shout.

"You have no obligation to me; we hardly even know each other!" Your breathing was picking up and you watched him flinch at your words, then his eyes flashed with fury, and he scowled at you.

"Oh, I think we know each other a little better than that," he shot back heatedly, nostrils flared. You gasped in shock, glaring at him, trying to come up with a good response to his vague reference to your kiss a week ago. You didn't think he would ever bring it up again.

He looked at you smugly now, crossing his arms over his chest. He was still pissed, but he was pleased to see you were at a loss for words. He was about to put an end to the argument and suggest you get moving when you charged right up to him and gave him a hard shove against his shoulders, making him stumble backwards.

"What the fuck?!" Joel uttered in surprise, swinging his arms out to his sides to regain his balance. You ignored him and shoved him again, this time only causing him to stumble back a little bit. He was about to reach out and grab your arms to stop you when it dawned on him. You needed this. You needed to yell and scream and push. He could see in your eyes that you were less distant, even though they were still filled with anger, you were looking more like yourself again. So, when you leaned forward to shove him a third time, he let you, standing strong and tall with his arms resting at his sides as you shoved him again and again. He would stumble back a little each time, but he kept his gaze pinned on your eyes, watching how they would soften and clear with each push to his chest.

You finally grew tired of shoving him, so you stood there, trying to catch your breath. You could feel your body again, the numbness that overtook your body last night finally was floating away, like taking your anger out on Joel was what made it crack and melt, like thick ice over a pond on the first warm day of sprng. You tilted your head back and sighed, wondering why Joel was the only person who managed to bring out this side of you. Last week in his office, you told him off without shedding a tear. That was so unlike you, you had never acted like that before. Then last night you had killed somebody to save him, and not just killed him but savagely and relentlessly bashed his skull in. And now today, he figured out how to draw you out and heal you. He was safe, he made you feel safe.

You brought your head forward to look at him, seeing the heat and intensity behind his eyes. He didn’t look mad anymore, but he regarded you questioningly, desperately trying to see underneath the veil, imploring you to take what you needed from him so you would be yourself again.

You felt this inexplicable surge of warmth and desire, your gaze darkened, and you licked your lips. You didn't know why, but you felt like he would do anything for you at that moment, so long as it made you forget the horrors you went through. You took one step forward hesitantly, keeping your eyes locked on his, and you reached out to run your hand up and down his arm, feeling his muscles jump under your gentle touch.

“I’m sorry, Joel,” you murmured, taking another small step forward. “I didn’t mean any of that, I’m sorry.”

He gulped and let his gaze flick down to your hand rubbing his arm. When you stepped forward, he saw the look in your eyes, and his breath hitched. What were you doing? He shook his head and stepped back.

"It’s alright. We should get a move on, we gotta find somewhere safe for the night," he said, clearing his throat.

“Why don’t we just stay here?” you asked.

It was an innocent enough question, but the way you said it and the way you were looking at him said otherwise. He was struggling to keep up with your mood swings. "We got a lotta ground to cover, and there’s still daylight left, we shouldn’t waste it.”

He told himself his feelings for you were done, and he meant it. He had to focus, he had to keep you both safe. You clearly were still processing all your emotions and he couldn’t trust anything you were implying. So, he stepped away from your touch and headed for the stairs that led up to the street. You halfheartedly followed behind him, feeling more like yourself again, but also feeling something different, like this world was beginning to change you. You weren’t sure if it was for better or worse, but you knew you had at least come around to adapting to your environment. You killed somebody to save Joel’s life. You rose to the occasion, and you did what you had to do, and you didn't hesitate. You no longer felt like you were useless, and as fucked up as that sounded, it made you feel good.

You spent the rest of the afternoon trapsing through fields and forests on the outskirts of the city, trying to stay out of sight and quiet, taking very few breaks. Joel wanted to cover as much ground as possible and get far away from the city. You were still reeling from your argument, or whatever it was, in the subway. You weren’t sure what would have happened if he had leaned into your advances, but as more time passed, you knew it was for the best that he rebuffed you. You couldn’t remember if you were about to get your period, or maybe this was a normal reaction to murdering someone, but your emotions were all over the place. The longer you walked, the more at peace you felt with what happened. Joel was right – things were not going to get better, you had to toughen up, or else.

The sun was getting low, and Joel still hadn’t found a good place to set up camp. You kept walking as the evening turned to dusk, your eyes squinting in the small forest when Joel let out a frustrated groan. You looked up at him curiously.

“This is a good spot, there’s a stream nearby and it’s quiet but there’s not enough coverage. I don’t like how thin these trees are,” he explained, motioning to the young, skinny oak trees surrounding you. You sighed and sat down against one of the trees to take a break, opening your canteen as Joel remained standing and looking around as he considered building up some fallen tree limbs into a makeshift shelter.

You tipped your head back to drink, and that’s when you saw it: a treehouse, at least 40 feet above the ground, right above you. You stopped drinking and stood quickly to grab Joel’s arm, pointing up towards the top of the tree. He chuckled when he saw it, a smile spilling across his face.

“Yeah, that’ll do,” he said, turning to look at you happily.

You smiled at him, then looked back up at the treehouse above you. It wasn’t very big, but it was enough for the two of you and it had a roof. It was better than the alternative.

You went around the other side of the trunk where the ladder had been nailed into the wood and climbed up. Once you got to the top, Joel did a full sweep of the area surrounding you, confirming that no infected or people were nearby. He could see the stream from about 20 yards away. He couldn’t contain his smile again; this was perfect.

The contactor in him reviewed the construction of the treehouse to make sure that it would be sturdy enough to sustain two adults. He walked around to each corner, hunched over because the roof was maybe 5 feet from the floor, and gave the walls a firm shake to test their strength. There were three small windows sawed into each wall, the door being on the last wall, which meant Joel had a full view of your surroundings. The windows and door did not have any coverings, so it would be cold, but the waterproof sleeping bags you had should be able to keep you warm. He turned back to you, satisfied you'd be safe for the night.

"I think this used to be a hunting stand, then some kids turned it into a treehouse. See how the wood looks older in this part, and some of the roof is made from different material?" he said, pointing around to the spots in the shelter. "They added the walls themselves, matches the rest of the wood on the floor," he mused out loud. You had stopped rolling out your bag to listen to him and found it kind of amusing he was discussing construction with you after the last few days you've had, as if the world wasn't ending and it was just another day.

"Do you think we'll be safe here?" you asked, sliding your boots off and setting them next to your bed. Joel unrolled his bag on the other side of the treehouse, the side closest to the door. Without looking up at you, he nodded.

"As safe as we can get, yeah."

You couldn't shake the guilt for the way you treated him earlier. What you said was exactly right: he had no obligation to you, but he stayed by your side anyway, and saved you a handful of times. You had already apologized, but the way you went about it didn't come across as sincere. You had nearly thrown yourself at him, completely confusing you both, so you wanted to try again.

"Hey, listen, about earlier," you began, making him pause from rooting around in his pack, but still didn't look up at you. "I really am sorry. I didn't mean it. Any of it. I think I was still in shock; I don't know what came over me." You took a moment to let your words settle before continuing. "I'm really grateful for everything you're doing, I would already be dead if it wasn't for you." You held your breath, hoping you came across as genuine as you felt.

Joel tried to hide his disappointment. It was hard to hear you didn't mean any of it. He knew you didn't mean what you said, but he couldn't help but wish you had meant the way you looked at him in the subway, with a heat behind your gaze he never expected to see again after the way he treated you. But maybe that was what he needed to hear so it would help put a stop to the overwhelming feelings he was struggling to contain on his own.

He brought his gaze up to finally meet yours, trying to hide the sadness as he gave you a warm smile.

"I know, you don't got to apologize, it's alright," he said quietly.

You looked at his face closely. You didn't fully believe it, you could tell something still bothered him, but you chose to let it go.

After you had settled in for the night, each of you tucked into your sleeping bags, you whispered out into the darkness.

"Us or them, right?"

You thought maybe he had already fallen asleep since you were met with silence, until you heard his voice, thick with emotion, reply.

"Us or them."

Chapter Ten

Taglist: @chiogarza

#joel miller fanfiction #joel miller #joel miller smut #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller fic #joel the last of us #tlou hbo #the last of us hbo #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x female reader #joel miller series #joel x reader #joel x reader smut #joel miller angst #joel miller fluff #the last of us fanfiction #the last of us game #the way we were joel miller fic

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honeydewsour · 5 months ago

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The Quibbler but as monthly shoujo magazine cover parody with wizarding world fanfic titles

(made this while ago to play around with fonts and giggles so pardon the messiness)

might become a series hopefully getting all the titles covered as the cover art or/and adding new titles …uuuh let’s see, any idea what bonus gift for the next parody?chocolate frogs?snitch keychain?? also can anyone guess which shoujo magazine i used for reference?

warning all of the titles mentioned are 18+ read the tags!

a bit of review me gushing out/screaming about the fanfics mentioned, under the cut;

A Good Man Is Hard To Find by cloniccouer

Lace, Letters, and Lectures: Professor Sallow by mahoushoujo_m

Lost Connection by AsphodelRose87

break a sweat by @shadowtriovibes

Post War by @josiecarioca

Unraveling of Fates by @aesopsharpstuff

In The Shadow of Us by @slytherizz

To Frame the King (of Cats) by heartsof_theround

Of Paper Planes and Wildflowers by @eggymf-archived

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sassytommykinard · 4 months ago

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Another prompt for @desert--moonchild. I decided to use the little snippet I posted a couple of weeks ago about Buck and Tommy being girl dads because I couldn't make it fit into the other ideas I have going right now. I guess you could say I repurposed it lol. I kind of twisted the prompt a little, but I really hope you like it, Moon.

49: Caring for them when they are ill

The picture comes in at 11:45 PM and Tommy thanks God that they're not on a call right now. He leans back on the couch at the station and opens the text. When he sees it, he is really glad Lucy isn't around to give him a hard time because he melts at the sight of his husband and their one-year-old daughter.

Evan has squished his face in next to Alex's, cheek to cheek. Evan's smile is bright and only Tommy would be able to see the tiredness in his husband's eyes. They're both exhausted these days, but loving every second of it. Alex has a finger in her mouth, a gummy smile on her little face, her few teeth visible and Tommy wishes he were home with them, his little family. He and Evan have worked out a complicated, convoluted schedule for being home with her in between their shifts. With the help of their friends and family, it's worked out so far, but it's times like these that he misses them so much that his heart hurts, especially now, when Alex has been fighting a cold for the last couple of days.

Uh oh. He types. Cold keeping her up?

It only takes a second for Evan to text back Sure is. We're both so tired but apparently, sleep is for the weak, Dad.

Dad. He's a dad. He has a husband and he's a dad. He still can't believe it sometimes. But right now he mostly feels guilty, because Evan's home alone with their sick baby and Tommy is stuck at work for at least a couple more hours. Looking around to make sure no one is nearby again, he clicks the 'video' button and waits for Evan to accept the call.

When he does, Tommy's breath actually catches. Even exhausted and sick, his husband and daughter are the most beautiful beings he's ever seen.

"Hi, baby," Evan says with a soft smile. "Miss us?"

"Always," Tommy answers sincerely. "Are you guys okay? Maybe I can beg off for these last couple of hours."

"We're okay," Evan assures him. "I promise. Eddie actually just left. I haven't been by myself these last 10 hours. You know our friends would never dare to do such a thing."

Tommy laughs. "If you're sure."

"I am." Evan lifts Alex's little hand and waves it. "Hi, Dad! We love you!"

Tommy shakes his head and wills his eyes not to tear up. "I love you guys too. Get some rest okay? Do you need anything? I can stop at the 24-hour place by the house?"

"Just you," Evan says, smile sweet and sincere. "Be safe."

"I will."

***

Tommy manages to get home on time, luckily. When he walks in the door, the glow of the TV illuminates the dark house. He toes off his shoes and hangs his bag up before making his way to the living room to see Evan sitting on the couch, legs propped on the coffee table, Alex asleep on his chest.

"Hey, handsome," Evan whispers. "Welcome home."

Tommy leans down to press a kiss to Evan's mouth before kissing the top of Alex's head. She doesn't feel warm anymore, thank goodness.

"Fever finally broke about an hour ago," Evan confirms. "She is still a little congested, but it's a lot better than it was this morning."

"Good," Tommy says, sitting next to them. "Have you slept?"

"No," he admits. "Eddie watched her for me and demanded I nap, but...I just couldn't. I didn't want to leave her."

"I know, sweetheart," Tommy says. He reaches for the baby and Evan gives her up with a soft kiss to her forehead. Alex barely stirs, as though she recognizes her other dad has her, so she's safe, as she rests her face in the crook of Tommy's neck.

"Go take a shower," he insists. "Get ready for bed. You need sleep."

"You just want some cuddles for yourself," Evan says fondly.

"Of course I do." He does, desperately. First: baby, then: husband.

Evan laughs. "Yes, boss." But he doesn't get off the couch right away. Instead, he whispers, "Tommy?"

"Yeah?"

He runs a finger down Alex's back. "I love our life."

Tommy smiles at him. "Me too, Evan. Me too."

#911 #bucktommy #fic #my fic

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musings-of-a-rose · 2 years ago

Text

I Never Stopped Loving You

Pairing: Joel Miller x OFC “Catie”

Word Count: 7700+

Rating: Mature - 18+ ONLY!

Warnings: Just like ao3, “creator chooses not to use warnings.” If you click Keep Reading, that means you agree that you’re the age to handle mature themes. Also by clicking Keep Reading, you understand warnings may not be complete in order to avoid spoilers for the story.

Notes: @theewokingdead is such an enabler and I love her for it! This is 100% her idea (I’ll post it at the end). I’m just doing the words!

And yes, this is my first OFC character!

**If you want to be added to the taglist, join here or let me know!

Main Masterlist

Joel Miller Masterlist

I Never Stopped Loving You Part 2>>

September 26th, 2013

2 pink lines.

2 little pink lines that will change the entire course of my life from here on out. Not just my life, but his life too.

Joel.

It’s not like we just started dating. It’s been a couple of years, but we hadn’t really brought up the idea of adding another child alongside his Sarah. And yet, here I am, staring down in disbelief at these 2 little pink lines, memories of the night that caused this from a couple weeks ago flashing before my eyes briefly before my brain starts to spiral.

Would he be happy? Mad? Leave me? Feel obligated to marry me? How will Sarah feel?

Before I can spiral more, my phone springs to life, it’s ring loud in my tiny bathroom as it vibrates across the counter. I knew from the ring it was him, but what I didn’t expect was Joel to sound so tired and frustrated.

“Hey baby.”

“Hey, sweetheart.”

“Is that contractor being a dick again?”

He chuckles, low and deep. “How’d you guess?”

“He’s been giving you shit for weeks. I don’t know how you deal with it.”

“Because I need the money. But I’m starting to think it may not be worth it to keep my mouth shut.”

He launches into a story about his day from hell, how the contractor is making everything take 10 times as long as it should. When he finishes, he takes a deep sigh before speaking again.

“You able to check on Sarah?”

“Yeah. She’s doing fine. Ordered a pizza. Sorry I couldn’t hang with her.”

“It’s alright. You feelin’ any better, sweetheart?”

I could tell him now, tell him that my secret suspicion of my nausea over the last several days has been confirmed, but I don’t want to tell him like this. Not over the phone, not when he’s exhausted and frustrated. I’ll tell him when I see him next.

“A little.”

A beep sounds and Joel pauses. “That’s Tommy. I’ll call him back later.”

“No, no. It’s ok, answer it. Just go home and get some sleep.”

“You sure?”

“Positive. See you tomorrow?”

“Definitely, sweetheart. Feel better.”

I feel guilty for not telling him right away, but the timing just isn’t right. Besides, this gives me some time to wrap my own head around it and figure out exactly how to tell him.

—----

Waiting was not a great idea.

I had fallen asleep at some point, but I was woken up by…is that screaming? Something is happening outside and it doesn’t sound good.

Creeping up to the window, I pull the curtains back just enough to peek outside. People are moving about the street, but something isn’t right. They’re all running from Mr. Stevens, my neighbor from several houses down. He’s running after them, but it’s not normal. No…not human. He leaps forward, jumping onto the nearest person and…shit!

I run back to my nightstand and grab my phone. The first few times I try to get a call out, it’s a busy signal. Whether the lines are cut or busy is beyond me, but I have to keep trying. My fingers tremble as I use speed dial to try to get Joel. The phone slips from my hand and clatters to the floor.

“Shit!”

I bend down and pick it up, hitting the green call button and miraculously, the call goes through. My breathing speeds up, I feel like my heart is about to pound out of my chest. I’ve never needed a call to go through more than now-

“Catie?”

“Joel?”

“Thank God. Listen, somethin’ is happening. Something with the people-”

“I know. I saw the neighbor-”

“Stay away from them-.....not right-....Sarah and I-.....”

“Joel?” The line keeps breaking up, static cutting out more than half of whatever he was trying to tell me.

“....just stay put….no lights….there soon…”

“I- ok. I’ll stay here.”

“Love you, sweethea-”

The phone cuts off and the connection dies with it. I pull the phone away from my ear and look down at the screen. My phone still has battery but over the service bars is an X. Guess they either cut the service or something happened at a tower. Either way, it’s not good.

I stay there a moment longer until more screams and glass breaking from across the street somewhere bring me harshly back to reality. I click my lamp off and head into my closet, finding the new hiking backpack I’d bought a couple weeks ago with Joel, who planned to take Sarah and I hiking soon. Be smart, Catie. It’s just like camping. What do I need realistically?

I’m no stranger to traveling, so I roll all my clothes, putting on a 3rd pair of jeans and a shirt, making sure to pack and wear thicker socks that will last longer. I also toss in a bar of soap, my waterproof matches and firestarter, some salves I had just finished making last week, and some other random items. The pack isn’t too heavy, which I’m grateful for. I grab one of Joel’s flannels and throw it on over my clothes before hoisting the backpack over one shoulder.

Quietly, I creep downstairs, ears straining to hear anything out of place. I hear nothing - well, nothing aside from the ominous noises from outside. I’m so glad that I have curtains all around my house, never wanting people to see in, especially at night. I fill my canteen with water and grab a bunch of high protein, portable snacks, tossing them in my bag and strapping the water to the side. I make up another canteen to add to the other side to balance the weight. Plus, having extra water wasn’t a bad thing. Right?

I kept my phone on me in case Joel managed to get through again. I pull it out to see if anything had changed, but nothing. It’s been at least 20 minutes since I spoke to him, but even if he had left his home right at that moment, it would still be another 5 or so minutes before he’d get here. And I’m sure he’s running into obstacles outside.

When it hits the hour mark, I become officially worried.

I know he told me to stay put, but the screams outside are lessening, which can only mean one thing. I’m not waiting around for it to be my turn.

Grabbing a pen, I scribble a quick note telling Joel to meet me at the cabin, my parent’s cabin that they had given me to use with Joel and Sarah. It’s out in the middle of nowhere but it’s self sustainable and the perfect place to hideout from…whatever is happening.

I leave the note in a conspicuous place, hoping that he’ll be able to see it. I check the knives I stored in my boot and one in a leg strap on my thigh. Initially a gag gift from my brother when I started hiking more, I learned how to use them a little, just in case. Otherwise, I have my bow-my bow!

Quickly, I head into my office closet and grab my bow and quiver of arrows, making sure I have the proper attachments for attaching them to my backpack. I pick up my keys, fingers trembling and I nearly drop them.

Then my sliding door crashes open, glass shattering everywhere, inhuman noises coming from whatever fell through it.

I don’t even bother to look, throwing open the front door and slamming it behind me, eyes scanning the yard for any threats. Thank God I have a keyless entry, the car unlocking for me and I throw my bag and bow in as I slide in the seat of my suv, slamming the door shut behind me. I fumble with the keys, trying to jam them in the ignition when I hear my front door slam against the ground. I manage to jam the key in and the engine turns over. I backup quickly out of my driveway and peel off down the street as Mr. Stevens comes out of my house, moving towards my car but quickly giving up as I drive away.

I make it about 10 blocks when I see her. My neighborhood friend Lucia, running for her life from…something who used to be a someone. No hesitation, I turn my suv, slamming into the something and sending it flying. Lucia turns and sees me, eyes wide with fear as she runs towards me as I beckon her to get in. She throws open the passenger door and screams at me to go before she even closes it behind her. I do, speeding off down the road and somehow managing to get out of the nieghborhood without road blocks or hitting anything else.

For now, I’m ignoring what I see and focusing on getting us out.

Lucia says nothing, eyes scanning the road and looking behind us to make sure everything is clear. By the grace of a higher power, we manage to make it to the back highway that will eventually bring us to my parent’s cabin. Or my cabin now, I guess.

“Luce, are you ok?”

Lucia is breathing heavy but she nods, turning her head towards me as she starts to relax slightly. “Thank you for stopping. I..I wouldn’t have made it otherwise.”

“I’m just glad I could help.”

A few moments of silence pass between us before I speak again.

“Are you hurt or..or bit? I don’t..I don’t know what-”

“No. I don’t know how but no.”

“What are they?”

Lucia takes a shaking breath and I can hear her trying to hold back tears. “I..I don’t know. They aren’t…they were people but now?”

“Yeah that’s pretty much all I saw too…oh is there anywhere I need to go or drive by for you?”

She looks away from me quickly. “I uh…no.”

“Where’s your brother?”

She was quiet for a moment. “He left on his business trip a day ago.”

Right. Japan or something.

I reach over and squeeze her hand, feeling us both shaking. “I’m sure he’s fine.”

“Yeah, you’re probably right.”

More silence.

“What about Joel? And Sarah?”

“I uh…I was waiting for them but… I left a note telling them where to meet me.”

“Oh. I’m sure they’re fine.”

We drive for a little bit longer, Lucia messing with the radio to try and find anything that was playing. It was all just static. I take the exit I need and clear my throat.

“I’m pregnant.”

Lucia’s head snaps towards me. “You’re what?”

I let out a sarcastic laugh. “Great timing, huh?”

“Does Joel know?”

A sob jumps out of my throat, one I didn’t know I had. “No. I..he had a hard day at work and I figured I’d tell him tomorrow…”

“Oh, Cat. It’s ok. He…he’ll find you for sure. I know it. Buuut…until then, you have me! Wait, did you pick me up just because I’m a midwife?” I can hear the smile in her words, but she’s still not 100% certain.

“I picked you up because you needed help. And you didn’t look injured.” She laughs at my admission.

“I love your honesty, Cat.”

We chat about the pregnancy the entire way, only quieting when we reach the long, hidden drive to my cabin. We do a quick perimeter check, inside and out. Nothing and no one. The closest neighbors we have are literally miles away. We have more chances of seeing a bear than another person.

Lucia helps me unload the few things I have in the car and heads inside. We take a quick stock of all pantry items and I’m thankful that Sarah and I did so much canning the last time we were here. She had gotten slightly obsessed with the idea and was looking forward to eating it when they were ready. Water wouldn’t be an issue either as we have our own private well, no need for electricity. Which is good because that doesn’t work without the generator and we are not turning that on. It’s too noisy and would attract trouble.

Lucia and I have a low key dinner of beef sticks and some dried vegetables, chatting with each other to try and lighten the dark cloud that has crept over the world. She heads off to one of the bedrooms and I head off to mine, the one I share with Joel. Once I’m finally able to collapse in the bed, I allow myself a moment to cry, worrying about Joel and Sarah and the baby that’s currently growing inside of me. I still have hope they’ll make their way here. I have to or I’ll crumble into bits and float away on the wind.

—----

20 years later…

Lucia and I stayed in the cabin for nearly 10 years. She helped me safely bring my daughter Penelope, or “Poppy”, earthside. We raised her in the cabin, teaching her everything she needed to know about survival and life, despite her young age. This is how life is now. She’s still allowed to have kid time of course, which is why there are murals painted on nearly every corner of the cabin.

About 10 years in, Lucia, who had never given up on finding someone or a transmission on either the radio or the ham radio, finally found one talking about a settlement in Jackson, Wyoming. It would take us nearly a month to get there, let alone the danger we’d be in. The suv would never make it, having given out years ago, but luckily we had managed to make a small farm for us and that included a few horses and a couple that could pull a wagon or 2. After gathering up all the information we could on Jackson, we determined it must be a real place and put it to a vote with all of us. After the winter snows melted, we left for Jackson, packing up our entire lives, or what we could anyway, and plotting out the safest route possible. It would take us about a month, especially with the detours we were taking, but they were necessary to avoid the areas that would most likely have bandits. Or worse.

The last thing I did before I closed the door was to write a letter to Joel and Sarah, telling them where we were going. Even 10 years later, I had not given up on them.

—----

A month later, we arrived in Jackson, a few more scrapes and bruises to our name, but luckily, we hadn’t run into too much trouble.

Lucia got work right away, considering her background as an official midwife. I was hired to help with the gardening because of my immensely green thumb and knowledge of herbs, and Poppy was allowed to help with the livestock we brought, after school was done for the day. Poppy was beside herself with the idea of going to actual school, even though she knew most of what they were teaching anyway.

We all settled nicely, Lucia falling in love with a nice man on the other side of town, eventually moving in with him and starting a family of their own. Poppy made a ton of friends, finally allowed the freedom to be a kid for more than a couple of hours.

As for me?

I never really dated anyone, my heart given to Joel a long time ago. I know the likelihood of seeing him again is extremely slim, but I still have a tiny sliver of hope that he’s around. And maybe he’s heard about Jackson and will head this way. Which didn’t impact my decision to come here. Nope. Not at all.

But the biggest surprise that Jackson held for us was Tommy, Joel’s brother. He was married to Maria, the woman who started this community with her father, and lived on the farm where they kept the horses. Poppy and he got along right away, her begging for more stories about her dad and he would pretend to be annoyed but would give in every single time. She continued this ritual as she grew, eventually bringing her boyfriends with her, searching for Tommy’s approval, just like a father.

One beautiful fall day, I’m walking through the market, trading for new produce and supplies when I hear some people gossiping over lemonade at the small eatery in town. I tend to ignore gossip, never having been one for it, until the phrase “Tommy Miller’s brother” reaches my ear. I freeze, listening intently on their words, but I’m only able to make out that he was here in town.

Joel was here. In Jackson. Joel.

I turn, marching towards the small group of people that were doing the gossiping when I heart the alert - bandits were attempting to attack the dam. Growling out in frustration, I turn to run towards that side of town, slinging the rifle from around my back once I assumed my nearly hidden position on the wall. We make quick work of the bandits, especially since we are heavily fortified and secured. That doesn’t stop them from trying, though.

Once the attack is over, I search the throngs of people for Tommy, just spotting him getting on his horse and heading home. Cursing, I turn, heading towards Tommy’s house on foot, my mind now completely on Joel since the bandit attack was over. Was he still in town? Does he know I’m here? Does he know he has a daughter?

I arrive at the farm and immediately head for the barn, knowing Tommy would still be tending to his horse. Sure enough, he had just finished putting her away, locking the gate behind him.

“Tommy!”

He sighs and doesn’t look at me right away. Which tells me he knows exactly why I’m here.

“Hey, Catie.”

“Is he here?” I’m standing just a couple feet from him, arms crossed and my foot tapping slightly with nerves.

“Who?”

“Fuck you, Tommy. You know who.”

“I-”

“Tell me the truth.”

He meets my gaze for a moment before nodding. “He was.”

He was here. Joel was here, in Jackson, alive and I didn’t- wait. Did he say was?

I swallow hard, willing my tears to just wait until I’m by myself. “Is he ok?”

“Yeah. Well, I mean as much ok as we all are.”

I let out a breath of relief. He was ok. Probably a little worse for wear but he was ok.

“Did…did you tell him I’m here?”

Tommy studies me for several moments, his dark eyes bouncing between mine, as if he’s debating with himself. “I…did.”

He knows I’m here. Joel knows I’m here, alive and well and he just-

Oh.

Of course. It’s been nearly 20 years and it would be ridiculous to think the man still loved me after all this time. He didn’t even know I was still alive. He’d never even met his daughter. If he no longer cared about me, fine. But why wouldn’t he want to meet his daughter? Unless…

“Did you tell him about Poppy?”

Tommy’s entire stance is apologetic and I know his reply before his lips even part. “No.”

“What the fuck, Tommy?”

He puts his hands up in a calming manner. “It shouldn’t come from me.”

“Fuck you, Tommy! He doesn’t even know he has another daughter. He deserves to know-”

“You’re right, he does. But not from me-”

“I can’t fucking believe this. It’s been 20 years, Tommy. 20 years and he didn’t even stop to say hi? Maybe if you’d have told him about Poppy, he’d at least stayed long enough to see her.”

I poke him in the chest as hard as I can. “It’s your fault he left!”

Tommy grabs my wrist and pulls me closer, his voice lowering to just above a whisper. “He had other things to take care of.”

“What could be more important than family?”

“All of humanity.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“He had a girl with him. Maybe…14? 15?”

My heart sinks. Did he have another daughter after the clickers came? As if he could read my mind, Tommy shakes his head.

“Not his. Her name is Ellie and she’s….special.”

“That’s disgusting, Tommy.”

He gives me a look. “She was bit.”

“Bit? And you let her into Jackson?”

“And she hadn’t turned.”

I could feel my eyes grow wide. Bit? Without turning? That’s impossible.

“How do you -”

“Saw the bite myself. I’ve seen enough of ‘em to know what they look like. It’s legit.”

“Fuck,” I whisper. This is huge. Definitely bigger than me.

“Yeah… anyway, he was takin’ Ellie to the Fireflies because they can supposedly make a cure out of her blood. Or that’s the hope anyway.”

“A cure?”

“Yup. This whole mess could be put behind us.”

This…this is life changing. World changing. My 20 year long devotion to a man I was deeply in love with paled in comparison to a cure for the clickers. Tommy told me Joel still had a long way to go, but if anyone could make it, he could.

“ ‘m sorry, Cat. I wish he could’ve stayed to say hi.”

“Did…did he say anything about me?” I hate how needy I sound.

“Honestly, we didn’t really talk about you other than me mentioning you were here. The focus was Ellie.”

I nod. The focus was on the right thing.

“Do you think he’ll come back?”

He rubs the back of his neck. “I doubt it. It’s a long trek and pretty dangerous. He’d be smart to just stay put, especially to take care of Ellie.”

I left the barn and headed straight home. Poppy was out with her boyfriend so I had the whole place to myself. Which gave me plenty of alone time to cry and, for the first time in 20 years, try to move on from the dream I had about starting a little family with a man I never stopped loving.

—----

Spring in Jackson is always beautiful. The colors come alive, blooming from every surface they can for miles in greeting the season change. It’s also the perfect time to start planting certain crops so they’ll be ready when it comes harvest season.

I’ve finished planting in the community garden, dirt crusted under my fingernails despite my scrubbing at the garden sink. I’ll be able to use a brush at home, but for now, I smile at the grime on my clothes. It means Jackson will have food and enough to last through winter.

Taking off my apron, I toss it into the laundry basket to be cleaned and head towards the home I share with Poppy. She doesn’t spend as much time there these days, but I can hardly blame her. She is 20 and in a pretty serious relationship. I would not be surprised if the boy popped the question any day now.

I turn onto Main Street and Mrs. NoseyPants stops me. I know it’s not her real name but it fits her better.

“Catie! How are the crops going? Jackson going to survive?”

“Mmhhmm. We should be great.” I try to step around her, but she blocks my path.

“How’s that daughter of yours? Still getting on with the Miller boy?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“I hope he makes an honest woman of her before something happens.”

“Something happens?”

She looks around, as if she expects anyone to actually give a fuck about what we’re saying. “Yes. Like an out of wedlock child.”

I plaster on a fake smile. “Oh yeah. That would be terrible, wouldn’t it?”

“I don’t like your tone, Catie.”

I open my mouth to offer some sarcastic retort about not really giving a rat’s ass what she thought of my tone, but my gaze moves over her shoulder and the crowd parts just enough for me to see him.

Joel.

Unmistakably him, despite what the last 20 years has put on his shoulders. His back is to me, but his head is turned to the side, looking at all of the houses and buildings that line Main Street. Fuck he’s still handsome.

“Are you listening to me, Catie?”

I blink but don’t take my eyes off Joel, afraid he’d disappear if I did. “Full offense Mrs. Bennett, but I don’t have time to listen to your outdated and hateful words. Have a nice day.”

I know her jaw has dropped as I scoot around her, and I know I’ll probably pay for that later, but I couldn’t care less. My eyes are fixed on him as he walks slowly, eyes still moving from house to to house, taking it all in. I’m only several feet away before someone literally walks into him, dropping the giant stack of boxes they had been carrying.

“I am so sorry sir!”

The young man stoops to try and gather up the boxes and Joel turns to face him, bending to help him gather them up and reassemble them in his arms. “Don’t worry about it.”

The boy nods and takes off. Joel’s eyes follow him, making sure he doesn’t drop them again when his gaze meets mine. Those dark eyes move right into recognition and shock, blowing wide as it finally sets in who he’s looking at.

I hesitate only a moment before I move towards him, nearly running and shoving a few people out of my way. And suddenly, I’m standing in front of him, all 5’11 and broad shouldered, just as he had been 20 years ago. More lines adorn his face, and several scars, his hair is speckled and streaked with greys, but somehow it makes him all the more attractive. My breath catches in my throat and I find myself speechless in front of the man I would’ve given anything to speak to for 20 years.

“Catie?” He chokes out my name, eyes scanning mine as if he was waiting for me to say he was mistaken. That I wasn’t who he thought I was.

A quick sob escapes me as I nod frantically. “It’s me.”

His hand, large and warm just as it always has been, comes up to cup my face, his thumb tracing my cheek, as if touching me was proving to him that I was real. And then he pulls me into his chest, hugging on to me tight, like I would disappear from his grip if he didn’t. I hug him back, crying into his broad chest, unable to believe that I was finally, finally, holding onto him.

He pushes me back slightly, only to look at my face. “You’re…you’re alive.”

I chuckle through my tears. “And so are you. I thought Tommy told you I was here?”

He nods, his dark eyes still on my face. “I thought he was makin’ shit up to try and keep me here.”

“Well that does sound like Tommy.”

Joel chuckles deeply and it sends a jolt through my body. God how I missed that sound.

“He told me you lived down this way.”

I cock my head to the side. “Were..were you looking for me?”

Pink blooms across his cheeks as if he’s been caught doing something he shouldn’t. “I had to see if he was full of shit.”

“Fair point.”

We stand there, in the middle of the street just staring at each other for several minutes before I blink back to reality.

“Are you hungry? I was heading home to make something to eat and shower. I…if you want to join me?”

His eyes darken briefly and I realize too late what I said.

“I’d love to. But…”

He’s struggling with words.

“..but… what?”

He clears his throat, looking away from me for the first time. “Wouldn’t your uh…husband or boy friend or whatever be upset?”

Smiling up at him, I shake my head. “I don’t have either of those.”

His shoulder seem to slacken in relief. “Oh. ‘m sorry.”

“I’m not.”

The corners of his mouth tick upwards in a small grin and I feel like my insides are melting through my skin. How can this man still get me going after 20 years?

“Lead the way.”

I gesture down the street in the direction we’d have to go to get to my place. We don’t say much, Joel still taking in Jackson but always having one eye on me. I know we’re about to have a difficult conversation. How will he feel about Poppy? About how our life turned out? Or his? Tommy had told me about Sarah when I first came to Jackson. The hardness behind his eyes shows that he’s still dealing with the grief and I imagine he always will. It’s no easy thing to lose a child.

We arrive at my house and I unlock the door, heading inside and flipping on a light.

“You have power?” He asks.

“Mmhmm. Tommy was able to hook up a generator of sorts to the power grid. It’s heavily guarded and taken care of so no one has messed with it. He’s been talking about trying to use water or wind energy, but we need someone who knows that.”

I kick off my boots and Joel copies me, setting his down next to mine.

“Poppy? You home?” I call out, not wanting her to walk in the middle of whatever was about to take place. When I receive no reply after a few calls of her name, I shrug my shoulders in a ‘guess she’s not home’ way.

“Who’s Poppy?”

“You thirsty?” I head towards the kitchen and Joel follows, watching as I take out a pitcher of lemonade. “I also have beer. It’s…not the greatest but it’s something.”

“You make the best lemonade. I’ve been dreaming of it for years.”

I smile, turning to grab 2 glasses and putting some ice in each of them before adding the lemonade. I hand Joel his glass and his fingers briefly brush against mine. They’re rougher than before but not by much, and the jolt this light touch sends through is just as strong as it was 20 years ago.

I head back to the living area and sit on the couch, taking a sip while I motion for him to sit as well. He does, taking his own sip and I catch a nearly imperceivable moan at the back of his throat when he tastes the lemonade. I quickly shove my legs together, hoping he doesn’t notice. I try to cover by setting my glass on the coffee table and he copies me, wiping his hand on his jeans as he settles back, his body slightly shifted towards mine.

“Is Poppy your uh…girlfriend?”

I laugh this time, not at the idea of me having a girlfriend but at the look on his face while saying it. “No. No she’s-” time to tell him what you should have all those years ago “- my daughter.”

Joel nods, his eyes looking down at his hands and his shoulder slump slightly as if sad. “You- you said you didn’t have anyone.”

“I don’t.”

A knowing look passes over his eyes. “Oh. ‘m sorry for your loss.”

My eyebrows furrow in confusion. “My loss? No, Joel. Poppy is 20.”

“20…what?”

“20 years old.”

It’s his turn to look confused, as if math was passing over his vision. “She’s…20?”

“Yes.”

“So…that…that would mean when…you…” He shifts nervously in his spot on the couch, another swipe of his palms across his jean clad legs.

“Is…is she…”

“Do you remember that night? You had called me, telling me about that pain in the ass contractor you had to work with?”

Joel nods, his eyes glazed over in memory. “Yeah. I called to check on you because you couldn’t stop throwing…up…” His eyes snap to mine, and to my surprise, they were full of hope.

“I told myself it wasn’t the right time to tell you. But how the fuck would I have known that the world would end?” I chuckle nervously, fumbling as I reach got my glass to try and cover my nerves.

He lets out a puff of air. “So I have a daughter?”

My face feels warm under his intense gaze. “Yes.”

He lets out a half sob half laugh of joy, tears welling in his eyes before he tries to wipe them away with the back of his hand. “All these years I had a kid and I didn’t know. I didn’t know, Catie. I-” Another half sob half laugh escapes him and he takes a moment to compose himself, his body not used to such displays of emotion. Not anymore.

“Why didn’t you just tell me that night?”

Why didn’t I? “You sounded so stressed and worried and I didn’t want to add onto that. I was going to tell you the next time I saw you but…” but indeed.

“How long had you known?”

“That day. I had suspected for a couple of days but I had to wait until I was sure I had missed my period to test and I didn’t want to tell you and be wrong.”

“You should’ve told me, sweetheart. We could’ve done the test together.”

I chuckle darkly. “Yeah I probably should’ve done that.”

“Tommy never told me.”

“What?”

“When I was here before. He told me you were here but not that I…that I have…why the fuck wouldn’t he tell me?” Joel pushes himself up from the couch in anger, pacing back and forth across the hardwood floor. “He should’ve told me!”

“Joel, he did what he thought was right.”

He looks at me, anger flashing in his eyes. “He had no right to keep that from me. If I had known, I would’ve-”

“Not brought Ellie to the Fireflies for a chance to save humanity?”

He stops pacing, turning towards me with shock on his face. “He told you about Ellie?”

I nod, sighing. “He did.”

“And he didn’t tell me I had-have a fucking daughter? And that she was here?”

“In all fairness to Tommy, he only told me after I got pissed he didn’t mention her to you.”

Joel scoffs. “What an asshole.”

“I…I thought maybe if you knew, you would’ve…maybe you would’ve at least stayed to meet her.”

Anger leaves his body and he sits next to me on the couch, hesitantly placing his hand on my thigh. “I definitely would’ve. When he told me you were here…I was intent on seeing you. Or seeing if he was pulling shit out of his ass. But he reminded me how important my cause was and since it was time sensitive, I couldn’t.”

“You couldn’t at least have simply said hi?”

“Sweetheart, there is no ‘simply’ between us. If I’d have seen you, I wouldn’t have been able to leave.”

Tears fall from my eyes and I wipe at them furiously. “Did it work out at least?”

“Did what work out?”

“Ellie. And the Fireflies.”

Joel grows quiet for several moments. “Turns out they didn’t need her after all. Found others and couldn’t use the blood.”

He’s lying. I know he’s lying but now’s not the time to press him for more information.

“She come here with you?”

Joel nods. “I wasn’t just gonna leave her there.”

“No, no. I think that’s great. There’s a good community here. I’m sure she’ll fit right in.”

“She was already makin’ friends the moment we walked in the gate.”

A long pause passes between us, but it’s not uncomfortable. It’s a processing silence, both of us trying to categorize and file the information we both learned from the other. When I look at him, I can tell he’s far off, thinking and brooding on things, which isn’t always a good thing.

“I wish you’d have told me that night.”

Ah.

“It wouldn’t have changed anything.”

“It would’ve changed everything! I would’ve grabbed Sarah and headed straight over to your place, bringing you…I don’t know, ginger ale and crackers? Whatever you wanted. We’d have stayed with you, started our family. Sarah so wanted a sibling. Especially a sister. Shit, she’d be so happy right now if she were….”

His voice tapers off but I know what he was going to say.

If she were alive.

I place my hand on his and squeeze it. “Tommy told me. I know nothing I say can make up for it, but I am so sorry Joel. I miss her terribly. I can’t imagine how it is for you.”

His mouth sets in a line, his jaw clenching, hand squeezing a little tighter on my thigh as if he’s trying to prevent himself from losing it.

“Maybe if I had known you were pregnant, and we came over, she’d still be alive.”

“Oh, Joel, no. You can’t think like that-”

“I failed her.”

He spoke so quietly I almost didn’t hear him. The guilt in his words, however, was loud enough to hear from space. I bring my other hand to the side of his face, cupping his cheek, his patchy greyish stubble poking at my fingers, and gently turn his face upwards to mine.

“You are a great man, Joel. And a hell of a father. There is no way that Sarah would ever think that you failed her in any way. She loved you so much and idolized you.”

The tears come this time, unable to hold them back any longer. I pull him to me and hug him, cradling the back of his head as he cries into my shoulder, mourning the loss of his daughter anew as he attempts to put aside the intense load of guilt he’s carried around for the last 2 decades. We stay like this for a while, my own tears mixing with his, as the light from the setting sun streaks through the curtains.

Eventually, Joel pulls back, wiping at his face with the back of his hand before he finally looks at me, his beautiful eyes puffy from tears. I’m sure mine don’t look any better.

“Sorry about that.”

“Sorry for what? Being human?”

He smiles and the room lights up with it. “You were always so good at that.”

“At what?”

“Letting me feel things. And makin’ me feel like I wasn’t a complete fuck up.”

“That’s because you aren’t.”

He scoffs, smirking at me in disbelief. “I’ve had to do some shady shit to survive, sweetheart.”

“Who hasn’t?”

“You got me there. I’m still a fuck up though. Don’t know how you didn’t see it.”

“Hhmm…” I put my finger to my chin in mock thinking. “It’s probably because I’m in love with you then.”

Joel cocks his head slightly to the side, questioning my statement. I’m not sure why, as my love for him is no secret to me.

“In love? Not was in love?”

Oh.

“I-”

The front door opens and Poppy walks in. I nearly jump out of my skin, having been completely absorbed in our conversation. Or was it more of a confession?

“Hey Mom! I’m only home to grab some clothes. Then I’m heading to Lyra’s. There’s this new girl in town, Ellie? She’s only 15 but she’s pretty cool. Oh.” Poppy had walked into the living room, her eyes, exactly like her father’s, shifting from me to Joel. I stand and Joel copies me, staying put while I walk around the couch towards Poppy.

“Mom..I didn’t know you had company. You never have company.” She thinks she’s speaking quietly but it’s not quiet enough.

“Poppy-”

“I mean, I think it’s great, but….but…” Her eyes fully take in Joel, landing on his face as she stares, her eyes slowly widening in realization. She had only seen him in the photos I was able to share with her, a few printed ones and then some on the cell phone I had refused to toss away, carting it across the country along with a charger in hopes of finding power to charge it.

“Dad?” Poppy whispers in disbelief.

Joel looks nervous, his weight shifting from foot to foot. This man has faced countless clickers, bandits, and worse, but meeting his 20 year old daughter is the thing that does him in?

God I love this man.

His hand comes up and does a little wave as he stares back at her, clearing his throat. “Hi. I’m uh… I’m Joel.”

“Dad!” Poppy drops her bag and runs, launching herself over the couch and straight into his arms, wrapping herself around him as she cries. It takes Joel a moment to recover from the intense reaction, but he wraps his arms around her and holds her, hugging her just as tight. Tears obstruct my vision and I blink quickly, trying to wipe them away so I don’t miss a moment of this meeting.

Her feet back on the floor, Poppy pulls back, her eyes raking over Joel’s face. “Was I too much?”

Joel laughs, smiling down at his daughter. “Not enough.”

She laughs and he brings his hand to her face, wiping away her tears. “I’m sorry, Poppy.”

“For what?”

“I didn’t…I didn’t know-”

She waves her hand. “Mom told me everything. You never knew I existed and then the world went to shit. It’s ok. You’re here now and that’s what matters! Wait - you are staying right?”

Joel’s eyes shift from Poppy’s to mine and I look back at him waiting for an answer myself. I want him to stay, desperately need him to stay, but I understand if he wants to leave. I never asked if he had someone waiting for him somewhere.

“I don’t wanna step on you or your mom’s toes-”

Poppy blows a raspberry. “Step away! I know mom is thrilled you’re here. And I want to get to know my dad….dad… I can finally say that! ‘Hey, this is my dad!’ ‘Have you met my dad?’ I just…I can’t believe you’re here and not….not here.”

Clever way of saying dead.

“Me too, Poppy.”

“Mom, I know I said I would meet my friends, but-” she glances back at me and then smiles, giving me a knowing wink “-but I..will be going…to meet up with…Benny. Yeah, he’s uh probably waiting. For me. So I’ll just…grab my things and leave you two…alone…”

She is so not slick, but I love her so much.

She gives me another wink before fully turning to Joel. “We can hangout and talk more?”

“I look forward to it.”

She squeals and gives him one more hug before bounding across the hall to her room and reemerging only a handful of minutes later with a backpack.

“Poppy?”

“Mom?”

“Stay for dinner at least. Then you can meet up with your friends.”

“Ugh, mom. You’re smothering me.” She has a smile while she says it, casually tossing her bag down before sitting next to Joel.

I make dinner while they talk, Poppy telling him about her life and asking him a zillion questions about his. He seems to be able to talk about Sarah now, at least a little before Poppy tactfully changes the topic. They talk throughout dinner, laughing and joking, sounds I never thought I’d hear together. Eventually, Poppy leaves to hang out with her friends, excited to tell them about her dad. As soon as the door closes, Joel turns to me.

“Who’s Benny?”

Protective dad mode activated I see. Smiling, I tell him about Benny and how he’s a good guy and about he and Poppy. He seems more relaxed after but still in protective dad mode.

“I’ll have to meet him.”

“I’m sure you won’t have the choice not to.”

Dishes cleaned up, I offer Joel a glass of whiskey and he takes it, tasting a sip before setting it down on the coffee table as he relaxes back into the couch again.

“You and Ellie have a place to stay?”

“Yeah. Tommy and Maria gave us a house. Actually, it’s not too far from here I don’t think.”

“That’s great. I’m sure Ellie will be happy to have a more permanent place to live.”

“And her own room that she can slam the door to.”

We chat for a few minutes about parenting teenage daughters and the challenges it can bring. He takes another sip of his whiskey after telling me a bit about Ellie, or what he learned about her on their long trek anyway. It’s quiet between us again, but this time, I’m warmed by the whiskey and given a slight bit of confidence.

“In love.”

“What?” Joel asks, setting his glass down.

“From before. In love. Not was.”

He turns to me fully, his eyes raking across my face trying to detect a lie and finding none.

“It’s been 20 years, sweetheart. I don’t expect anythin’-”

“It’s always been you, Joel.”

His large hand cups the back of my head and pulls me to him, his lips crashing against mine and it’s like no time has passed, my lips immediately parting for him like they were created for just this purpose. His other hand comes up to cradle the other side of my head as my fingers cling to his shirt, trying to find purchase on literally anything. I feel like I’m falling but in the most glorious way possible. While I never gave up hope that he was alive, having him here, now, 20 years later, how we both defied odds to just end up in the same community, after the world had been torn apart…

He pulls back, his nose brushing against mine. “I never stopped loving you either, sweetheart.”

My hands slide up his chest and around his neck, gripping the curls at the back of his neck and feeling him groan as he slips his tongue in my mouth again, kissing me harder than before. I feel his fingers gently brush against the exposed skin at my hips, his hands having settled there and I can’t help the moan that escapes me. Joel’s touch has always sent electricity through me, but not having had it for 20 years is a whole new level.

“I don’t mean to be presumptuous, sweetheart, but-”

“My bedroom is down the hall, second door on the right.”

He smiles against my lips, chuckling darkly. “We have a lot of lost time to make up for.”

—----

>>I Never Stopped Living You Part 2>>

❤If you enjoy the fic, please consider giving me a warm beverage! (It is not required in any way!)

Original Idea from @theewokingdead:

"I have had this idea for a long-lost love refound fic with Joel Miller swimming around in my head for a while, but I don't think I'll ever get in the headspace to write it. So enjoy what I wish I could write and hope someone will steal. Warning: mention of pregnancy in the beginning.

Imagine it's September 26, 2013. You've been dating Joel for a while and, oops, you're pregnant. You're a flurry of emotions and have no idea how or when you're going to tell him. He calls you late that night, on his way home from a hellish day at the jobsite, telling you about the prick of a contractor he's been dealing with and can't risk losing his job. When he asks if you've checked in on Sarah you tell him that she's fine and you're sorry you were feeling too ill to stay with her today. When he inquires further about your illness, you opt not to say anything, not like this, not when he's had a shit day, and instead feign that everything is okay and you'll be fine. The call is interrupted by Tommy, and you insist Joel answer his call. He offers to call you back, but you tell him to go home and get some rest, that you'll hopefully see him tomorrow.

Of course, several hours later, all hell breaks loose. You manage to get a call through to Joel, telling you to stay put, that he'll come for you, then you lose connection. Joel never finds you, but you never lose hope.

Two decades later, you're living in Jackson, having crossed paths with Tommy a year earlier when he returned to Texas, where you never strayed far from. You overhear the talk - that Tommy Miller's brother is in town - but bandits attack before you can find the source of the rumor. Later, you find Tommy as he puts a horse away in the stable, and you question if it's true, that Joel is here, and he reluctantly tells you he was. You ask if he told Joel that you're here and he says that he did. Your heart sinks - of course he wouldn't still love you after all these years, but why wouldn't he at least want to see you before he left? You ask if he told Joel about your daughter - his daughter - and Tommy says no, that it shouldn't come from his mouth. You're furious, thinking maybe Joel would've stayed in town if he had known that he has a daughter. You let Tommy have it, and eventually he tells you why Joel was in town and why he left, about Ellie and the hope to find a cure. Finally, you come to your senses, realizing there are far more important matters, and try to move on from dreaming about having a little family with a man you never stopped loving.

Months later, you're walking around town when you run into Joel. There are a million different ways the reunion could go. How would you tell him about your shared daughter? How would he feel? Would he be pissed at Tommy for knowing and not telling him when he first came to Jackson? Would he be angry you didn't tell him that night when he called, before the Outbreak? Would he have done anything differently that night had he known - things that could've changed the trajectory of his entire life? Would he wonder if it would have kept you guys together as a family? Would he wonder if it would have even kept Sarah from suffering the fate she suffered? Would he blame you for it? I just imagine it would be one big emotional reunion. How would it end? I don't know. I just love a good re-found love fic - be it happy or sad. I love angst. I love an emotional Joel. It could be fun. But I'll never get around to writing it so let's just pretend I did 😭"

General Taglist:

@frankie-catfish-morales @chaoticgeminate @janebby @astoryisaloveaffair @balekanemohafe @greeneyedblondie44 @hoeforthefictional @marvelousmermaid @Hauntedmama @giuliarogers-blog @icanbeyourjedi @diaryofkali @sunnshineeexoxo @livingmydreams13 @adventures-of-a-noodle @sara-alonso @theewokingdead @punkerthanpascal @giggly-otter @f0rever15elf @phandoz @dirtytissuebox @jadore-andor @gallowsjoker @lovesbiggerthanpride @sarahmilesbendrix @booksarekindaneat @mrsudontknowme @swol-bear @charlispersonallyhell @xoxabs88xox @amneris21 @gooddaykate @alindeluce @avengers-fixation @paintballkid711 @harriedandharassed @ladykatakuri @marrianena @practicalghost @withakindheartx @batdarkladyvampir @justanotherkpopstanlol @mermaidxatxheart @alexxavicry @ichigodjarin

#joel miller #joel miller x you #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x female reader #joel miller x reader #tlou #tlou fanfic #tlouff #The last of us #the last of us fanfic #pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal x you #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal character fanfic #pedro pascal character ff #pedro pascal character fanfiction

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dislyteshack · 1 year ago

Text

Dislyte personal timeline/ will be pinned

*if you feel my interpretation is wrong THAT IS FINE

This is how I interpret this fucked up timeline

I'm going to be constantly updating this and if anyone wants me to add something or I got something wrong please tell me

*I took a lot of creative liberties with this and added false dates so I will be bolding the ones where the dates are completely correct

*I can promise that the years are correct other than when Yun chuan has his transformation because that is extremely unclear

timeline (to fit canon):

2010- narmer and cang ji unearth the Raya/rhea legand that compiles deities and powers and whatnot

*I genuinely have no idea where I got the 2010 date it's either I gaslit myself or I saw it on Twitter / Facebook

1/6/2012- a big half buried purple rock is dug up. Experts find that it's glowing and unlike anything they've ever seen

3/8/2012- funny purple rock is studied and a research expedition is planned

21/10/2012 2:00 am utc- the miracle rises and the first miramon appear

*revealed by multiple times stated by how everything started in 2012

13/3/2014- Abigail girl bosses Jin yuyao's family

*revealed by a flashback in rulers law

10/4/2014- fu shi meets his big titty goth gf

*revealed by fushi in dream of redemption

12/5/2014- Joseph dies , Leon L

*revealed in Hilda's event

9/6/2014- LIAN WTF WAS THAT/cube miracle appears

9/6/2014- Hannah dies lol take the L hyde

*revealed in Lian's event

?/?/2015- founding of the esper union

*line in inescapable fate

2016- embla doesn't have a very good time/ Jiang man doesn't have a very good time

7/12/2016- Hyde seemingly starts a pharmaceutical company and generally is doing better (plot twist he started the shadow decree LOL)

* in Fu shis careers he joined in 2017 and at the end of dream of redemption Hyde said he was in the process of founding the SD*

1/1/2017- su jue gets tf out of tangton

*line in yu ran event

?/?/2017- chaos miracle spawns

*line in yu ran event

?/?/2017- Lü Shang becomes an esper and also becomes a teacher

?/?/2017- Jin Qiu commits murder

*line in cell block chaos

?/4/2017-yun chuan goes to jail :(((

*it can be seen in Yun chuans signed confessional

?/?/2018- rip Archibald

*offhand line in Mavis event

13/10/2019 - Yun chuan death sentence

*sorry the new event confirms he spent two years in prison

* one of his files in truth unveiled talks about when he "died" exactly

?/?/2019- chunhui academy students become mercenaries

2020- shadow over oreville the last event happens

11/2/ 2021 - beginning of Mateo's bullshit

*line in immortal fire

?/?/2021- ollies mom dies in a lab accident (massive skill issue tbh)

*offhand line in lonestar

?/?/2021- chunhui academy becomes deserted

1/6/2021 - Mateo fucking kills a man

*based on the different time skips that happened which I calculated from the beginning time of February 2021 that was specifically given to us in immortal fire

10/10/2021- Ollie's dad takes a massive L and dies (w to Leon)

2022- su jue girlbossing event (and yu rans bullshit ig)

*because of line that states that the chaos Miracle appeared 5 years ago I'm choosing to believe that everything here is taking place in 2022 despite the comment about yu ran's age

27/3/2023- burning of the union, marks the shadow decrees official independence

*offhand line in burning glimmer

2023- garrison incident (rip ikkis dad:( )

15/5/2023- javid causes the death of hundreds of people and gets arrested I shit you not this is what happens

*offhand line in javid's event

2/1/2024- espers become more common due to the shackled miracle

*offhand line in desparado

5/6/2026- Liam escapes from the union like the chad he is

*offhand line in devouring beast

6/10/2026 - Lu yi makes biggest mistake of his life by meeting Brewster

*offhand line in desparado

2026- idk what fumis doing BUT SLAY IKKI

19/12/2026- Ollie's bullshit

1/2/2027- brynns bullshit ig idfc

6/5/2027 - qius bullshit

24/12/2027 - truth unveiled

Onwards:

Event stuff vaguely taking pace after Brynn but also somehow in 2027

Sigh

2028-

-Fumi again with Fu shi

-Chu Yao's massive L

-Amir and Fatimah's shit

-oh shit elif's shit

#dislyte #dislyte headcanons #timeline

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religion-is-a-mental-illness · 5 months ago

Text

By: Ned Holstein

Published: Oct 8, 2014

A little-noticed research revolution confirms that our family courts are damaging the health of our children on a daily basis.

In 2014, three separate and independent groups of experts reviewed decades of child development research. They found that after parents separate or divorce, children do much better with shared parenting — joint custody — on multiple measures of wellbeing than with single parenting. Yet in more than eight out of 10 custody cases today, one parent (usually the mother) is awarded sole guardianship.

The negative impact on our children is dramatic. For instance, according to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the U.S. Department of Justice and the U.S. Census Bureau, children raised by single parents account for:

63 percent of teen suicides,

70 percent of juveniles in state-operated institutions,

71 percent of high school dropouts,

75 percent of children in chemical abuse centers,

85 percent of those in prison,

85 percent of children who exhibit behavioral disorders

And 90 percent of homeless and runaway children.

Last year’s formation of Gov. O’Malley’s Commission on Child Custody Decision Making is a promising start to tackling the problem. However, much work remains to ensure that more children experience the benefits of shared parenting, which include fewer behavioral and emotional problems, higher self-esteem, better family relations and better school performance than children in sole custody arrangements, according to 2002 Maryland research. Psychologist Robert Bauserman, then of the Maryland Department of Health and Mental Hygiene, conducted a meta-analysis of 33 studies between 1982 to 1999 that examined 1,846 sole-custody and 814 joint-custody children and found that children in joint custody arrangements were as well adjusted as intact family children on the same measures.

As the International Council on Shared Parenting put it in July, “shared parenting is a viable post-divorce parenting arrangement that is optimal to child development and well-being, including for children of high conflict parents.” This represented the consensus of nearly 100 experts from over 20 countries. Similar sentiments were recently expressed by the Association of Family and Conciliation Courts (“Children’s best interests are furthered by parenting plans that provide for continuing and shared parenting relationships “), and by 110 experts around the world who endorsed a consensus statement published in February the journal of the American Psychological Association (“shared parenting should be the norm”).

Shared parenting is also better for parents. The claim is often made that joint custody exposes children to ongoing parental conflict. In fact, the studies in Mr. Bauserman’s review found lower levels of conflict with shared parenting, possibly by disposing of the winner-loser feelings that come with a sole custody decision. Shared parenting also gives each parent a break from continuous child care responsibilities.

Towson dad Mark Cyzyk reports that, “12 years out” his teen-aged daughter is thriving. She recently brought home straight A’s, has a good group of friends and appears well adjusted. “For as far back as she can remember,” Mr. Cyzyk said, “she’s had two homes, two extended families, and now with remarriages that’s four extended families, all of whom care for her deeply. I couldn’t be more proud of her and am lucky to have been awarded shared physical custody years ago. But I should not have had to rely on luck — nor should she.”

And neither should the other Maryland children whose parents separate or divorce. The alternative to reform in Maryland is a continuation of the one-size-fits-all tradition of giving sole custody to one parent. This is the outcome in more than 80 percent of cases, so that 35 percent of American children are being raised by only one parent, according to the U.S Census Bureau. In some cases, one parent has walked away from the children. But in most cases, the family courts have created a sole custody arrangement even though both parents are fit and both wish to remain closely involved with their children.

Governor O’Malley’s commission holds out hope that family structure after separation or divorce will become part of Maryland’s dialogue about children’s health, emotional balance, educational difficulties, substance abuse problems, bullying and violence. Family court reforms that return both parents to 35 percent of our children where possible would help them in all these realms at no cost to the taxpayer, while bringing children what they most want: two loving parents actively involved in their lives.

Dr. Ned Holstein is founder and chair of National Parents Organization, which has an affiliate in Maryland. His email is [email protected].

#Ned Holstein #shared custody #shared parenting #fatherhood #fatherlessness #Father's Day #Happy Father's Day #religion is a mental illness

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onedreamaday · 9 months ago

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Once again, this is all @im-pure's fault, based on this post. They enable my angsty side so much.

They are the worst enabler /jk

I had this song on repeat while writing.

Can be seen as a follow-up to this, which takes place a few months later.

This was supposed to be an introspective kind of fic, but Liz sorta bullied her way into being here. Then it turned into Bax and Liz being catty in-laws. (but not really, they just mostly snark at each other- it's out of love)

TW 's apply here: character death and mentions of depression/depressive episodes. Remarks of implied alcoholism (Liz accuses, Baxter denies, but nothing is confirmed.)

Sidenote: Liiy didn't bother changing her last name when she and Bax married. One, she kinda doesn't see the point in changing her last name. Two, she found out how much of a hassle it was to do if she did change it and wanted nothing to do with that paperwork.

Elizabeth Last, Baxter is starting to truly realize, is an unstoppable force of nature when she wants to be. Case in point, she has apparently made it her life's mission to show up unannounced whenever she's in town.

Since she doing some type of job near Prima Vista, that means he's been seeing her a distressing amount.

Liz does, at least, knock first before she opens the door, using a key Lily gave her years ago. The light spills into the room and it's do bright, Baxter involuntarily lets out a curse. It's way too early for her presence. He checks the time on his phone, which reads 10:54 am.

There's the smell of food and even better, coffee. A peace offering, then. He'll take it. And mentally prepares of whatever uncomfortable topic she feels she needs to talk to him about.

He groans inwardly. Lily, he imagines, would find all of his hilarious. She was always far more patient with her sister's antics than he could ever be.

“Really? All you've been doing is drinking?”

Ah, an old topic it is then.

Baxter rubs eyes and sighs. “I didn't drink that much,” he says.

Liz hums. “That bottle of whiskey is suspiciously empty.” The tone is light, but the accusation heavy. It sets Baxter on edge.

“It was over the course of a few days,” he replies bitingly. “After work, and never excessively.”

“Oh great, you're back working. I was worried you'd be living on the couch, growing mold.” Liz places the food on the table. A veggie omelet with toast. Simple but decent.

“Unfortunately, my rent and bills don't care if my wife is gone and my depression refuses to go away.” He surprises himself with how flippant he can say that, and going by the look on his sister-in-law's face, perhaps she has the same thought.

There’s silence as he eats, and he notices Liz's eyes keep drifting to a stack of papers.

Or rather, the letters he's written to Lily since her passing. They help, sometimes. On the days where the grief is all-encompassing. Where he watches old videos on her phone just to hear her voice. There’s a voicemail on his phone from her on his phone he refuses to delete.

“You can read them,” He tells her. “It's not as if there anything particularly embarrassing written there.”

He flashes a grin; it feels weak on his face. “There's nothing to blackmail me with, I'm afraid.”

Liz hands lingers, as if she's unsure before she takes the topmost letter. “Other than that monstrosity dyed hair you had when you first moved to Sunset Bird.”

“Lily found it charming.”

“She had terrible taste. How she liked it, I'll never know.”

“I might add, she wished I never stopped dyeing it that way.” He finishes eating and takes the plate to the sink. There’s not much to wash, but Baxter cleans the dishes anymore, moreso to give him something to do.

There’s silence between them, but it’s not tense or heavy, despite their banter earlier. Eventually: “You have the most flowery writing I’ve ever read.” Liz pauses, her eyes softens as she reads. “She fell in love with such a dork.” She returns the letter back to the stack, but doesn’t reach for another. “She would talk about you a lot, after that summer.”

That surprises Baxter; the way she acted after they met in the restaurant three years ago, he suspected she wanted nothing to do with him. “I honestly thought she hated me for a while there.”

Liz smiles. “Lillian Last actually hate anyone? I highly doubt that. If she was willing to give Shiloh and that Jeremy guy a second chance, she definitely was gonna give you one. She was just being dramatic. She’s good at that.” A pause. “Was good at that. Sorry.”

Baxter nods his head. He understands completely. There are days when he thinks of Lily in the present tense; sometimes he expects her to come walking through the door, talking excitedly about her job. He misses those moments when they cooked together (or attempted to, in Lily’s case. She was a bit of a disaster in the kitchen.)

He misses the floral perfume she would wear, the way she would laugh when he swept her up into an unprompted dance, her snuggling up next to him even if it was absolutely sweltering from the summer night.

Liz leaves with a well-meaning snark, telling him she will beat his door down if anyone hasn't heard from him in a few days. Entirely unnecessary, but he understands all the same, and it's well deserved. His attempt to go no contact had everyone thinking the worst and the last thing he wants to do is put his friends and family through all the stress again.

Baxter looks at his stack of letters; his fingers itching to write another is too hard to ignore.

Giving into temptation, he sits and writes, pouring out feelings he can't get himself to say out loud. He finishes it with

"In the afterlife, or wherever you are, do you miss me as much as I miss you?'

#oddy writes fic #olba fic #olba baxter #olba liz #our life beginnings & always

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kerubimcrepin · 11 months ago

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Liveblog 6: analsysising harder

I am having a finals' nightmare week in university, but finally found the time to sit down and relax, so here's to episode 3.

He's so supportive. For all his faults as a father, (like the fact that Joris might not be able to read yet in here, despite seemingly being pretty ready to be taught how to, as was pointed out to me by @dullard during our separate rewatch from this rewatch) the fact that Joris can sell things at the market all by himself at 7yo and knows what a commission is, is actually really cool. Good job, Keke! This once, I will not kill you with hammers.

Do start teaching your son to read/write soon. Please. Please.

ANALYSIS EVENT LEVEL 10 ALARM WEE WOO WEE WOO. CAN WE TALK ABOUT THIS.

Joris is seven years old. Kerubim was, by his own words, "barely older than him," during his confirmation ceremony at the Orphan Temple. Can we actually ask what Kerubim Crepin was doing, at seven years old, in the orphan temple??

As we know from Dofus Heroes Kerubim comic, he was busy being an orphan, plotting to resurrect his parents, (either adoptive, or step-father and biological-mother. It doesn't really matter !) and being sad, to the point that, as an adult, even while amnesiac, he empathizes greatly with a stray kitten.

Having dreams of not wanting to be lonely, projecting his loneliness onto stray animals... It's the reason why he's afraid of showing people that he's weak and driving them away, and what makes him a compulsive liar, as I've pointed out in the last post. He can't bear being alone.

No wonder, then, that despite being old, and having a decrepit house, he didn't try to find Joris a better home. It would be a betrayal of his own ideals of protecting children from what he went through. It would mean that someone so similar to him would, too, be all alone. And, a bit more selfishly, he does need someone by his side.

I would point out, that Atcham was in the temple, implied to be mistreated, that they are both full brothers who grew up in the same family, and that him and Kerubim didn't have the best relationship even as kids, — with Bashi also disliking Atcham heavily, for unstated reasons, — and how it all might tie into Kerubim also adoptng Joris out of guilt, because he feels like he might end up like Atcham, but I don't have ten hours.

And also bc Atcham doesn't appear often, and I am mostly delusional about this.

Kerubim avoids mentioning Atcham or any of his adventures in Brakmar, so... man just give us anything to work with.

Despite Keke playing it off now, he really didn't have an easy childhood.

For all the times I say he's a bad dad, or that I want to beat him up, it is all in jest. I think he's a very tragic character who was just... never really given a chance to develop a healthy way of interacting with the world.

And for what it's worth, he grew up to be as decent of a person he could have, and did the best he could, at becoming a family with Joris and raising him, as flawed and uneven as it is.

He really just wants this kid to have a good childhood, or an approximation of one, with no violence, loneliness, or fear he went through — and it's all going to be ruined in the movie, isn't it?

It won't stop me from joking about beating him up in the future of this blog, but I wanted to make my stance clear. No non-joking slander of Kerubim in this household. Ever.

I think he was scared shitless of having a deadly quest here, but HAD to pretend he wasn't, for the public. He looks happier now than seconds ago in the queue line, lol.

Low self-esteem can result in seeking attention through being loud and obnoxious, as well as a fear of embarrassment, so, it checks out. Lying is a likely thing for Kerubim to do, and I love and respect him for it.

His immediate reaction to being embarrassed by getting a clothespin, and made fun of, as audience laughs? Double down, baby! Though, his angry facade doesn't last until the end of the line. He's just... looking sadly to the side.

By the way, considering he's only a bit older than seven, the "I've been training for years" is a bit haunting.

Do you know who DOES deserve to get beaten with hammers for real, non-ironically? The god Ecaflip. Can I get an amen?

No wonder, Kerubim coddled Joris and wanted his life to be better! His life sucked!

Of all the things not to lie about, he seemed not to lie about being trained. Doesn't stop him from being beaten up, though...

We have to beat God Ecaflip with hammers. There is no other way.

For all his cockiness, he's so stressed out. His facade is so, so ruined, the second he realizes his plan is not working.

Really, this whole scene puts their relationship together the best. He's a God, holding Kerubim, a 7-9yo orphan, on a tiny string.

His whole life, Ecaflip just belittles him over some random bullshit, makes him hate his brother for being bald, and then gives him a gambling addiction before putting him into a mental asylum to treat it. All of that because he loves him that much.

We have to kill him. There is no other way. I may be a wakfu season 3 hater, but Oropo was right.

Yay, trauma bonding, in its correct definition!

If my whole family died, and a god cared so much about me, he made me the protagonist of various sad cringe stories of overcoming personal adversities mostly caused BY him, I too, would develop some sort of complex to cope. So I get it.

But I feel like, even if Kerubim will never voice it out loud, considering what repercussions may follow, deep down he knows that Ecaflip himself is one of the reasons for his loneliness, and that most of all, he's scared of him.

#ro liveblogs dofus #dofus #wakfu #kerubim crepin #ep3

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dumbass-learns-japanese · 11 days ago

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Two things happened today

Considering this blog was made with the purpose of motivating me to study Japanese language, although I do feel that after this post it will become a personal journal as well, I will start with Tanaka-san.

I realized that my listening and speaking skills were lacking, and always have been, even when I used to be a full-time Japanese studies student at a university. The reason is embarrassingly simple: it's hard. Cultivating those skills is hard and requires time and effort, a bit more than reading and writing, at least for me. They require interaction with people who may or may not (although my paranoid brain infested with the impostor syndrome is leaning more towards 'may') know Japanese better than I do. I don't want to embarrass myself, and yes, I know, they will not care, nobody will think that, they know you're learning, bla bla bla. Yes, I know, but nevertheless, I do and did feel a slight fear and that led to simply avoiding those particular skills as much as humanly possible, aka, I stuck to the reading dialogues from the textbook we were using, which explains why one of the only things I actively remember is 「このスプーンは素敵ですね」

Today I had the epiphany according to which I apsolutely must practice those skills, otherwise, what and why am I even doing this? Since my boyfriend doesn't know Japanese nor is he willing to let me teach him anything other than insults, I turned to Tanaka-san. If you may not already know him, it is a mushroom. A cartoon mushroom on YouTube that teaches you Japanese. You learn kanji and you can practice listening and speaking. He asks you how you are, and you say you're good. He asks you which season is your favourite and why , and he wonders what was the weather like this morning and what time it is in your part of the world.

Yes. I talked about the weather with a cartoon mushroom.

Honestly, hearing myself speak Japanese aloud, so not just inside my own head was... Traumatizing. No, not really traumatizing, just...weird. For one, it's been a while, and for two, I definitely have better pronounciation inside my head.

The second thing that happened today, and this is where this blog becomes a personal journal, was that I've been reading Joan Didion for the last month and a half, and obsessively so. I've been reading every single book by Joan Didion available in the university library and I am currently on "The Year of Magical Thinking". So far I've really enjoyed her essays on the 1960s and California of the second half of the 20th century, even more so than her fiction, but this book is different for me. I will not go on to the whole book review as this post is not the place for that, nor am I willing to review a book I've only read 4 chapters of.

It got me thinking of my dad who died 15 years ago, when I was 10, almost 11. The day before he died, which caught us by surprise, similarly to the way Didion's husband died, he walked our family dog, Kim, beautiful female Landseer, also know as our first the "Best Dog", whose successor, a cocker spaniel mix named Tara is the second "Best Dog". He also took me and my sister to music school, I used to play violin and she played the flute. He helped us with homework, he went to the school for all three of us to ask about our grades and how we were doing, even though he already knew all of that, but it is normal for parents to go once a month. (I don't know if this a thing in other countries, but where I am from, headteachers have a designated day and hour when the parents can come and talk to the teacher, ask about the grades, confirm we were sick if we were sick and unable to come to school and things alike.)

He did all that, and the very nex morning, he had a stroke in his sleep. Mom found him, he couldn't move or talk, she called an ambulance, we discovered he had a cancer which nobody knew about, not even dad himself and three days later, he died. I think mom did a good job with us, we are all well adjusted and successful in our own particular ways, maybe less so in our own eyes, but surely in our mom's, and every once in a while I think to myself that I am over his death, that it happened and it's over and I don't really have many vivid memories of him and it's fine, it's better that way for sure, but then I remember and I start to cry or I read something or I watch something and that reminds me of him and then I cry again. I don't like crying and when I die I want people to forget me as it will be less painful, but I understand that is hardly possible because I'm not interacting just with the cartoon mushroom that speaks Japanese, I am also interacting with real human beings that are constantly making as much of an impact on me as I am on them.

Reading about Didion's husband John and the way he died, and how he must have known he was going to die and how he might still come back, brought back the surrealness of death. What do you mean he died and I was with my siblings in my brother's room watching some stupid show on a small TV with an antenna? How did that happen? It was all normal and then... what then? What happened?

I don't know, but it did. It is weird at best and morbid at worst. I still haven't come to the point of talking about this to Tanaka-san, but you never know really. I'm feeling things today and the absurdity of everything is making me tired so I will probably go to sleep earlier today.

#日本語 #studyblr #japanese language #japanese #personal #journal #joan didion #reading

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kai-zip · 1 year ago

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Not so innocent

(Minnie x Miyeon)

3rd POV

It has been confirmed that Nicha known as Kim Minnie would be attending a lesson on how to stop doing drugs.

Yes, you read that right. This woman has been addicted to drugs, since her parents died in a car crash she's been blaming herself for not being there. When her parents died, she was in Thailand for some business stuffs she had to do for her work. She didn't have any other choice.

Anyhow, her close friends tried to make her feel better, Seo Soojin and Jeon Soyeon. These two have been by her side since they were like 10 and 9 years old, interesting right? A friendship that last so long.

It was her first time being in this kind of group, people who used to do drugs or just stopped doing them, like her.

That's really a weird feeling.

Why do I have to be here?

I could do this alone.

Minnie thinks. Even though she's not actually telling the truth, she would be devastated if she would do this alone cause it'd end her up doing drugs again.

So why not find a new kind of drug? Which it won't be as bad as those pills.

As she get inside to this small room, there were people. Many people.

They stared at her, all eyes on her which made her so anxious. She gulped hardly and sat on a free chair.

She looked up, her eyes caught the most beautiful gaze and eyes she ever saw. Brown eyes, a bit rounded than hers yet so beautiful. Lips? So beautiful, not so big yet not so thin. They seemed very kissable. Body? God, so thin yet so beautiful. She's going crazy, she never saw a woman like her.

"Why don't you introduce yourself to the group, love?" the woman asks.

Minnie blinks twice after that she nods and stands up from her seat.

"M-My name's Nicha Yontararak, Kim Minnie in short. Uh.. I'm from T-Thailand and moved here seven years ago. I'm currently 25 years old." Minnie says while looking onto the ground.

"Very nice, then tell me Minnie why are you here?" the woman asks.

"W-Well, I have been troubled with taking drugs and it was the time for me to stop taking them. I want a better life for myself." Minnie confesses.

The woman smiles and claps.

"Very well, you're in the right place then. Let me introduce myself before we start, my name's Cho Miyeon, I'll be your drug counselor or therapist. You can always talk to me if you want privately. I am 26 years old and I am from Korea." Miyeon points out which made Minnie be more mesmerized by her charms as her smile for example.

Yeah, she definitely wants to get better now. She wants to attend this small group.

Definitely.

As she came back from that group therapy, she also got Miyeon's number if she ever needed to call her or text her during hard times.

She immediately called her best friend, Lalisa Manoban. She's also her Assistance.

"Lisa, my lord you won't believe what I did and who I met." Minnie says, panicking.

"Yo! Tell me everything, I got some time." Lisa says on the phone.

And that's how it starts with Minnie.

Attending every group therapy that's with Miyeon.

Every month is getting better, of course she has been having some panic attacks but as Miyeon told her, she could always call her if needed. So that's what she did.

These two never talked privately, though Minnie wanted to get to know her more. She knows it's not allowed so she waited until she'd be healed completely.

Good plan right? The only problem was that she wasn't sure if that woman had a boyfriend or even if she was into women like her. She had to do some research, no?

But how? She had to ask people if she knew her. But for now, she will focus on getting better.

We'll be skipping this after six months.

Minnie got better and is officially off with those pills.

It feels so nice and relieving. Finally, can go to work without any problems, her health is getting better than before.

And the awesome part? Jennie, Lisa's girlfriend new Miyeon. So it was something great, though she's single. Not bad.

She knew that this couple will be throwing a party for their anniversary so Minnie as well as Miyeon will be invited, of course she will attend this party. And she will look really good.

Thank god the party's today so her friends will also come with their partners. So enough mumbling and check Minnie's outfit.

Nice right? Quite the hottie as people would say in our generation.

She took some pictures of herself and smiled at herself.

Damn, I look good.

Minnie thinks to herself.

In fact she does look really good, in my opinion.

Lets skip to Miyeon's outfit, right?

We don't want to miss out.

Quite the princess yet hot. On her waist she's wearing a black skirt with a heart belt. Very fancy.

And so the party began.

Both women attended the party, both looking fancy in their own way. One too sport-ish and the other one too elegance and sexy.

What a taste, am I right?

Lisa hugged the younger woman. Welcoming her as well as her girlfriend. After that, Jennie saw Miyeon dancing with a couple of other women and grabbed gently her arm pulling her where Lisa and Minnie were.

"Look who I found!" Jennie yells because of the loud music.

"Oh my god! Hey Miyeon, what's up!" Lisa yells.

Miyeon smiles and hugs both girls, then she saw Minnie. Her expression was.. interesting. She was more like surprised yet happy to see the woman doing well.

"Hello, Nicha" Miyeon says.

It made the younger blush slightly, hearing the older calling her by her Thai name.

"Hey Miyeon, long time no see huh?" Minnie asks while smiling.

"Yeah, how have you been? You haven't been in the therapy for a month now. Are you doing well?" Miyeon asks as both girls walked to the kitchen where the drinks were as well as snacks.

"I'm doing great actually. Thanks to you of course, I've been doing great. I'm still having some issues but they're not as dangerous as it used to be. I'm getting through it. How have you been?" The younger asks.

"I've been doing okay. You know, I kinda miss it not having you there. You were like uh the light in the group. I'm happy you're doing great." Miyeon says and gave the younger a smile.

"Yeah.. I guess so. Well uhm.. you look very pretty tonight." Minnie gives a compliment to the older woman.

"Oh really? So I wasn't pretty yesterday or a month ago?" Miyeon asks making Minnie panic a bit.

With that expression made Miyeon laugh.

"N-No! I-I m-mean.. you always looked pretty! Just today you look a bit.. hotter than usual?" Minnie gulps, she doesn't want to fuck up right now.

"Oh?" That made Miyeon blush.

"Y-You think.. I'm hot?"

"Of course I do. Every day, every time I saw or see you. You never get less pretty." Minnie says as she took a step closer to the older woman.

"O-Oh.. w-why thank you, N-Nicha. I also think y-you're good looking." Miyeon stutters.

Minnie smirks and took another step closer to her, wrapping a hand around the latter's waist as her left hand was on the chin of the latter's.

"Look up, baby." Minnie whispers with her his key voice. That made Miyeon nervous but obeyed.

"You really do obey quickly, don't you?" Minnie asks, but did not get a respond.

For an answer, Miyeon kisses the Thai which she did not expect it. She immediately kisses her back, wrapping her other hand on the latter's neck as she pushes the latter closer to her.

Lips connected, biting each other's bottom lip, the make out session was indeed very hungry and tensed.

Minnie did not care if people were watching them, she wanted to kiss that woman for a long time now. There's nothing stopping her now.

She picked up the latter, sitting her on the kitchen counter as they keep kissing each other.

The Thai was leaving sloppy, yet wet kisses on the latter's neck making the older woman groan from pleasure as she wrapped her legs around the Thai's waist.

That drove the younger woman crazy, she looked up at the older woman as they both made an eye contact.

"Let's go to my car, shall we?" Minnie whispers near the older's ear. Miyeon just nodded, with that Minnie picked her up walking towards the exit door. She opened it and stepped outside as she closed the door behind her.

She took out her car keys, walking towards her car. Opened the door from the back seats, laid Miyeon as she went on top of her as she closed the door and locked the car doors again.

"You're mine for the night." Minnie whispers.

"Oh yeah? Says who?" Miyeon teases.

"Says me. You'll be mine for now and for the rest of our lives, princess." Minnie says which made Miyeon smile.

"Hm, I like that idea. Let's do it." Miyeon says as she trails her hand on Minnie's adidas long jacket.

She pushes the younger to sit as she gets on her lap.

"My body belongs to you for today, Nicha~" Miyeon whispers near to the younger's ear as she slowly grinds onto the Thai's thigh.

"Mmm, I like how that sounds baby." Minnie places her hands onto the older's waist as her hands follows the rhythm of her hips.

Miyeon slowly took her own light jacket off, still grinding onto the Thai's thigh making her moan softly.

"N-Nicha" she moans near Minnie's ear.

Fuck. Minnie thinks.

Minnie wanted so badly to touch her but was so worried that people would be able to take pictures of them.

Ugh, I don't care. Why am I overthinking while she's being a mess on my lap?

Get it together Nicha!

With that, she harshly pushes Miyeon down as she's on top of her and her hand between her thighs.

Minnie rubs the older's inner thigh making her groan.

"You like that? Being all slutty to your old patient?" Minnie asks with her husky voice making Miyeon more wet as she was before.

"N-No.. only when it comes to you. You make me lose my mind." Miyeon says and with that Minnie was taking already off the older's underwear.

"We don't need that now, do we?" Minnie asks as Miyeon shakes her head.

"Good. Now be a good girl and enjoy it for as long as you can." Minnie says as she slowly kisses Miyeon's stomach down to her thighs while she was still wearing the skirt.

She pushed two fingers inside the older unexpectedly, which caught the older by surprise and made her moan loudly. Minnie pushed the skirt a bit up, making more room for her to spread the older's legs. Which she successfully did, she brought her face near the wet core of the older woman's and started licking her clit while thrusting her finger harshly into the older.

The older was a moaning mess, she harshly grabbed onto the younger's hair. She felt how the Thai's tongue swirled and moving, every movement of her fingers and tongue. It was an amazing feeling, she couldn't explain the butterflies yet the hotness she and her body was feeling right now.

"N-Nicha! Oh my god!" Miyeon moans loudly as she arches her back and biting her lip harshly.

That made the Thai smirk as she thrust her finger harder, making the latter's body shake a lot. She knows that the woman was close, already.

It didn't stop her though, she inserted another finger. Three in total. Which made the latter moan louder and pull her hair hard.

"F-Fuck!" Miyeon groans, pushing the younger's face closer to her wet core.

Minnie liked how messy the latter is when it comes to having an intimate moment with her. She wants to have that more with her and she will.

After a second the latter released which made the Thai take a last lick and take her fingers off.

"Suck them." The Thai says to the latter.

Miyeon obeyed and tried carefully to get a bit up, she put Minnie's fingers into her mouth and sucked them. She was tasting herself.

"It's sweet, isn't it?" The Thai asks.

The latter nods as she keeps sucking onto the Thai's fingers.

"I want to taste you every day. And I will, you're mine baby. My princess, my good girl." Minnie says as she takes her fingers out slowly leaving a saliva connected to the latter's mouth.

"Mmm.. yes I am." Miyeon says. She can't lie right now, she really liked it. Owning her. Especially a woman like Minnie.

"And I am yours. Is that a deal, sweetheart?" Minnie asks as she makes Miyeon sit on her lap which the latter did.

Both of the cuddled each other for a bit.

"It's a deal baby." Miyeon says and kisses Minnie's cheek.

Both smiled like idiots, Minnie knew she had to drive back home but she wanted to stay like this for a while.

#gidle #gidle i feel #gidle minnie #gidle miyeon #gidle smut #gidlesmut #kpop gidle #gidle rp #minnie smut #miyeon smut

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fatlevisimp · 2 months ago

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In Time. (Levi Ackerman/Attack on Titan Fan Fiction)

Chapter 10: Eren's Trial: Pt 2.

"My name is Nile Dawk, and I am the Commander of the Military Police." The MPs were to go first with their reasoning for Eren to be placed in their custody. Diana watched the man as he spoke, knowing the MP's intentions were not great; she believed they'd kill Eren right there on the spot if the custody were theirs. Her face fell to glare as Nile continued. "Our recommendation is, following a thorough examination of his physiology, subject Eren Yeager should be disposed of immediately." Diana let out a low growl as her glare deepened. "We acknowledge Yeager's ability played a part in taking back the latest titan incursion; however, as has been stated, his mere existence is creating public unease." Diana rolled her eyes, if the public knew how his titan could truly help us they'd understand wouldn't they? "For the greater good, after we have gathered all the information needed, we would see him made a fallen warrior of humanity."

"Unacceptable, this vermin has defiled the mighty wall..." Diana couldn't have rolled her eyes hard enough as the wall cultist piped it, pointing at Eren. Five years ago, no one would have given them a second look; now they're recognised. Premier Zachary elected to ignore the outburst, turning his attention to Commander Erwin.

"Now, I would like to hear the Scout Regiment's proposed plan."

"Yes sir, as the Commander of the Survey Corp, I, Erwin Smith, propose the following," The Commander's voice boomed through the courtroom. "Let Eren join our ranks; reinstate him as a full member of the scouts, and we will use his ability to retake Wall Maria." He paused for a moment. "That is all." Diana's eyes widened; that was it, his whole plan? The Premier would never go for that, surely?

"Hmm, is that it?" Zachary questioned.

"Yes, sir, I am sure we can reclaim Wall Maria with his assistance," Erwin confirmed. "Ergo, I believe our top priority is perfectly clear." Diana sucked in her breath, she was more nervous now, her heart pounded as her eyes drifted to the Premier.

"Quite bold." He spoke. "Assuming you were given clearance, where do you suppose you'd perform this mission from?" Zachary's eyes dropped to Commander Pyxis. "Commander Pyxis, the wall at Trost has been completely sealed, correct?"

"Yes, I doubt the gates will ever open again," Pyxis confirmed.

"We'll depart from Colenith District from the east; from there, we'll make for Shiganshina." Erwin piped in again. "A new route can be established as we proceed."

"But that's ridiculous; our time and money would be better spent sealing up all the gates!" A townsperson yelled, cutting off Erwin. "They're the only parts of the wall the Collasal Titan can break, right? Let's reinforce the blasted things and wash our hands of the entire affair."

"Shut your mouth, you spineless merchant dog!" A scout yelled back at the townsperson. "With a titan on our side, we can finally return to Wall Maria!"

"We can't afford any more of your childish antics or your delusions of grandeur-"

"Squealing louder won't help your case, pig." Levi's voice cut through the arguments; Diana's eyes shot to him, her stare so intense, she surely thought he could feel it burning holes in the side of his face. "While we're bolstering our defences, do you think the Titans will idly stand by?" Levi questioned the merchant. "And when you say 'we can't afford', do you speak for anyone other than your fat merchant friends?" Diana's eyes widened at this comment, pulling her stare away from Levi as he continued. "Do you pigs even realise that our people are struggling just to survive off of what little land we have left?"

"I'm simply saying that sealing the gates is the only guaranteed protection we've got!" the merchant argued, but this only attracted the cultist's attention, who went on another rant.

"It's that cult's fault," Diana muttered.

"Agreed, they're the ones who got in the way of the Garrison arming the walls," Armin added.

"That shows the sick amount of support they've got; I don't trust them at all," Rico said, agreeing with the two. The merchant and cultist continued to argue until both were interrupted by the thunderous pounding from Premier Zachary.

"Order! I ask you to save your personal sentiments for a more appropriate time." He demanded. Now then, Mr Yeager, I ask you this: As a soldier, you have made a solemn pledge to answer humanity's call. Now, can you still serve by controlling your ability?"

"Yes, I will, sir!" Eren strained.

"Oh, is that so? But this report from the battle of Trost contradicts that statement." Zachary spoke, picking up a piece of paper. Diana's eyes shot to Rico, knowing it was her who wrote the report. Just after transforming, it seems you made an attempt to crush Cadets Mikasa Ackerman and Diana Lando." The Premier continued. Diana's hand shot to the bridge of her nose as Eren's eyes snapped to her and Mikasa. She, too, glared at Rico.

"What did you two expect? For me to lie on a report?" Rico questioned. "Glossing over that fact could spell disaster for all of us." Diana dropped her glare, knowing that what she said made sense.

"And who are Mikasa Ackerman and Diana Lando?" Premier Zachary questioned; Diana's eyes snapped to him.

"Me, sir," Diana called out. "I'm Diana Lando."

"And I'm Mikasa Ackerman." Mikasa's voice followed Diana's.

"Alright, is it true that, while in titan form, Eren Yeager assaulted the two of you?" The Premier questioned. Diana's eyes dropped, looking towards Eren, as did Mikasa's.

"Answer the Premier honestly; Eren's future depends on it," Rico told us both. Diana raised her head to the Premier and nodded slowly.

"Yes, sir, it's true." She declared.

"Yes, it is." Mikasa's reply followed, a wave of gasps and whispers circled the courtroom, Diana let out a low breath. Eren looked beyond shocked, more ashamed than anything. "However, he did save my life twice before that, and in each circumstance, he used his titan ability." Mikasa continued, causing Diana's eyes to snap up to her. "The first time was when Trost fell, a titan almost killed me, but Eren saved me, and the second was when Eren transformed to protect Diana, Armin and me from canon fire; I implore you to take these facts into consideration-"

"Objection!" Nile interrupted the girl. "I have reason to believe that personal feelings play a large part in her testimony." Diana rolled her eyes as Nile went on to discuss Mikasa's past, discussing how both she and Eren killed kidnappers out of self-defence. This caused the courtroom to break out into arguments, some even accusing Mikasa of being a titan.

"Now, hold on a second. I may be a monster that you want dead, but leave her out of this! She's innocent!" Eren suddenly piped in, his voice loud and full of determination. The other only continued to argue, and Eren grew visibly more angry by this. "Stop it! You're wrong, all of you. You're so intent on pushing your own selfish agendas that you can't even see it." His voice was low as he spoke.

"What do you mean?" Nile asked.

"What does it matter? None of you have even seen a titan, so why are you so afraid, huh?" Diana's eyes grew shocked at his speech, desperately hoping he wouldn't do something stupid. "There's no sense in having power if you're not going to use it to fight; if you're too scared to fight for your lives, fine, let me do it!" Eren's voice grew louder. "You're all cowards; just shut up! And put all your faith in me!" Everyone stared at Eren in shock; Diana shook her head, worried he'd pushed too far.

"Take aim, dammit!" Nile ordered his soldier, who readied his gun. The barrel pointed at Eren, but before he could fire, a figure stepped in, swinging his boot at Eren's face, sending his head flying. Diana's eyes transformed as she watched Eren's tooth fly across the floor, her glare settling in as she watched Captain Levi take another swing at Eren, grunting as he did so. This angered Mikasa, and the girls let out low growls as they lunged to save Eren. Both were stopped by Armin, who grabbed their arms.

"Guys, wait!" He called over Eren's strained groans. Diana shook her arm from Armin and continued her glare, hoping it would be strong enough to burn through Levi, who finished Eren off by stomping his head into the concrete floor. I knew there was something off about him; he's nothing but a pretentious -

"You know, personally, I think nothing instils discipline like pain." Levi's voice cut off Diana's thought. His words sent a feeling shooting through her body. She scoffed. "You're not in need of talking to; what you're in need of, boy, is a lesson." Diana scoffed, this time not holding back; she hoped he heard it. "And you happen to be in perfect kicking position," Levi announced before continuing his assault on Eren. Diana felt a white-hot rage fill her body; her fists were clenched harder than ever, and she could feel her nails drawing blood.

"Now, hold on, Levi." Nile cut in, holding his hand out.

"What is it?" Levi questioned, dropping his foot from Eren's face.

"It's dangerous; what if he gets angry and turns into a titan?" Nile questioned, his face full of terror. Levi sent Eren another kick, and Diana let out another growl.

"Don't be silly; after all, you just want to dissect him, right?" Levi asked, grabbing Eren's hair and holding him up. "During the time he was transformed, they said Yeager was able to kill up to twenty titans before he ran out of strength." Levi continued. "As an enemy, his intelligence could make him all the more dangerous, but I could still take him down without a problem. How many of you could say the same?" The crowd looked on, still shocked. "Before you torment the beast, you'd better think, can you actually kill him?" Before anyone could reply, Commander Erwin raised his hand, cutting in.

"Sir, I have a proposition." He called.

"Proceed." The Premier allowed.

"There is too much we don't know, and his danger is still everpresent as such I suggest this: Eren Yeager will be placed under the supervision of Captain Levi, and we'll conduct a recon mission outside the wall - "

And Yeager will join you on this mission?"

"Yes, sir. Then you can look up the mission's results yourself. If successful, Eren will have proven his value to mankind." Erwin finished.

"Eren Yeager will be closely supervised? And if he should lose control?" Premier Zachary questioned.

"I can definitely kill him if it comes to that," Levi announced, earning himself another glare from Diana. The only downside is, there's absolutely no middle ground." Diana growled again, this time earning herself a side glance from Levi. She stood her ground, however, her glare not faltering.

"Hm, then I have made my choice." The Premier spoke, catching Diana's attention; she tore her eyes from Levi and towards Zachary. "I hereby grant the Scout Regiment custody of Eren Yeager."

#aot #attack on titan #levi x oc #aot fanfic #aot fanfiction #levi ackerman #levi aot #aot x oc #shingeki no kyojin #slow burn

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