Can you crush it?
In which Leo asks the all important question that his TikTok followers have been demanding to know!
Can Xena squash a watermelon with her thighs?
Or the five times Xena showed off her strength and the one time Leo showed off his.
Let’s all appreciate Xena’s strength and the simps it brings.
Xena x Leo & (Xena x Leo x Sho if you squint)
(Pre-estab to established~I’ll write down which ones which)
Half Proof read but exhausted from work (as always)
1.(pre-established but Leo has already told his followers they’re dating.)
Leosimp4l5fe: THIGHS 👀
Thecrystalllemethod1234s THIGHS TO SAVE LIVES
JohnTitor: DAMN 🫣😍
Lastdance94: I am looking respectfully 👀
Leo was doing a TikTok live in the pit, behind him Xena was doing her workout unbeknownst to her she was directly in the background causing an onslaught of thirst comments to go through making Leo crack up.
“Ohhhh~seems my XeXe has some fans shall we go say hi?”
He sauntered over to Xena who was lifting a barbell with 30kg on it, she said she’d be doing a light workout today…Alan was her spotter and alerted her of the influencers presence as Leo casually answered questions in his impromptu q&a as he wandered closely to the two.
The comments going wild as Xena placed the bar down, she was wearing short shorts (Leo’s request) and a crop top with her hair uncharacteristically tied in a ponytail.
“What is it?” •_•
She went to slather her sweaty hand over Leo as he cringed dodging away, lightly flicking her hand as she rolled her eyes.
“My adoring fans want you to do a Q&A with me!”
He winked into the camera as Xena just deadpan stared at him.
“I-why? Why would they want to know about me?”•_•
She tilted her head curiously at him, the comments flurried in, simps galore spamming the live.
“XeXe, you’re mine so of course they wanna know more.”
Leo sang to Xena, brushing a stray strand behind her ear, ensuring the camera catches it as Xena physically softened at the touch.
“Okay.” •_•
Leosimp4l5fe: xena folding so easily for Leo, she’s just like me fr
Sharkira: THEYRE SO CUTE 😍
Edthebat: Xena 🥵 you’ve🫵🏼🫵🏼🫵🏼been bewitched 🧙 🧙 🧙
How did the vamp find his TikTok…?
“Okay we’ll do five questions!!! Q1.Xena what’s the best date Leo’s taken you on??”
Xena side eyed Leo, their relationship was something he made up to his fans yet he doesn’t even seem that bothered leaving it up to her to imagine the good stuff.
“Hmmm…I enjoy anytime I spend with Leo so it’s hard to chose just one date, my favourite though might be our movie date~Sho cooked us loads of food and it was a really fun night.” •_•
A Little bit of truth-a little bit of lie.
They had movie night the other day and it was actually a lot of fun, it was some terrible cheese fest that Leo saw trending and wanted to do a review on~leading to a mini movie night.
Leo was grinning maniacally at her answer as he lead her to a bench so they can chill for a moment and it’s totally not so Leo can oogle at her as she leaned back on the bench, stretching out slightly as the comments went wild at the way she moved.
“Q2.would you ever make your own tiktok account?”
Xena shook her head as she used a towel to soak up her sweat, Leo trying not to obviously stare at her but semi failing as a couple of comments called him out, she somehow makes being a sweaty mess hot, it was infuriating.
“No, Leo’s the talented one on that front, I prefer watching his TikTok’s than making my own.” ^_^
She tried to throw her towel over Leo the grey haired man narrowly dodging it as she giggled, his phone almost exploding from the eruption of comments at the cute moment as well as the rare sound of Xena’s giggle being caught on live.
“Q3.Leo calls you XeXe, do you have any nicknames for him?”
She hummed in thought as she leaned her head on Leo’s shoulder.
“Im not great with nicknames but…I have a special nickname reserved if I ever fall in love with someone, Leo most likely will be that person tho~ so maybe watch this space ahah~” •_•
Leo furrowed his brows at that, of course she can’t say she’s in love with him yet they’ve only been fake dating for a couple of weeks…but what the fuck was the special nickname?
“It’s what my dad used to call my mum…”
She whispered into his ear, as if sensing his confusion or more like annoyance at the lack of knowledge, her closeness and low voice sending shivers down his back as he pressed a kiss against her cheek. He knew he’d never be the one to hear that special nickname but…imagining it, made Leo become possessive of the proposition.
“Q4.if you and Leo were animals what would you be?”
She looked closely at Leo as she debated, serious brown eyes narrowing at amused citrine ones.
“Leo would be a cat.”
She announced nodding to herself in approval as the Cheshire Cat grin spread across Leo’s face, further proving her point.
“I’d be a crow-because I like shiny things…case in point.”^_^
She jabbed a thumb at Leo whose smile spread even wider as he pressed another kiss to her cheek.
“Q5….”
Leo paused as he glanced at Xena, checking her out as he himself debated the question.
“Can you crush a watermelon with your thighs?”
She glanced at him as a twitch of a smile appeared on her face.
“We can find out.”
She abruptly got up as Leo was about to speed dial Sho and get him to bring a watermelon down to them stat.
“But not right now I’ve gotta finish my set!”
She blew a kiss to Leo as she skipped off, Leo slightly hypnotised before shaking himself off as he brought himself back into influencer mode.
“Well you heard her!!! keep an eye out for that video coming soon.”
He threw a wink and a heart to his captive audience switching the camera around to show Xena adding another 20 kg to her barbell (making it 50g) as she deadlifted it, ending the live on the image of her holding it high into the air with ease.
———————————————————
2.(pre-established but practically dating)
The bass was booming throughout the room as the speakers littered around the pit playing the impeccable playlist Leo and Sho had prepared for the party. It was crowded, loud and exciting, neon glow in the dark spray paint infiltrated the pit with Alan’s designs, the captain who helped and enjoyed painting the place decided not to come. There was a bar manned by vagastrom students and a live rock band setting up in the actual pit area to do a mini concert later. There was a glow in the dark paint balloon area right in the back and face paint dotted around the area. They were going to make it a foam party but the tidying after would’ve been a killer.
It had taken weeks to convince Alan to even let them use the pit, it was all due to Xena’s side gig earning her enough favours to help persuade Alan into allowing them to do this, proving they can be responsible enough to plan and execute, it was all due to Leo and Sho’s help in uncovering a plot to kidnap one of the aquatic anomalies kept in Jabberwock, the sick fuck wanted his private chef to cultivate a ‘sushi extravaganza.’ It was a Frostheim student that Xena may or may not of knocked unconscious and left with Towa for an hour, but no one needed to know that and it impressed Alan enough that he gave them permission to finally have a party.
The trio were in deep need of the club and to let loose.
Which leads Sho cackling as he tried to complete the mission given by Leo, he was tasked to get a picture of Xena and Leo kissing, Leo wanted to post it on his tiktok to show her off again.
Instead, Leo was being held up against the wall by Xena, her hands tucked under his thighs as he had his legs loosely latched around her waist, but it was purely Xena holding him up as he wrapped his arms around her neck as they sloppily made out.
Leo didn’t realise they were being recorded in that moment, xena being a distraction as she wore a long black denim skirt and a crocheted black crop top showing off her tattoos which made Leo’s head spin whenever he got to see them and she was wearing Leo’s chain necklace, the later being the reason he’s so distracted, he liked the way it claimed her as his especially when this wasn’t even for a tiktok video or anything she just wanted to wear it and he desperately wanted her to wear it but wouldn’t and couldn’t say it out loud. He’d been heavily flirting with her all night, wearing a semi matching outfit with Xena as he wore a light grey cropped halter top with long black gloves and black denim cargos-this was heavily distracting Xena who could barely pay attention to the party they’ve been obsessively planning, but everyone else seemed to enjoy it, Sho even got Kaito and Luca to come, the two being surprisingly good company as Sho chatted them up.
Xena lost herself in the make out session, holding Leo up with one arm as the other got lost in his locks. When the video got posted to his Instagram AND TikTok stories the comments went wild with how easily Xena manhandled Leo, something both of them didn’t realise she did until they saw the video the next day.
Leo decided he wouldn’t mind her doing it again.
———————————————————
3.(pre-established)
Xena was wearing black and blue checkered shorts and a yellow crop top her tattoo fully on show as she bit down the anxiety at the fact that all of Leo’s followers would see it , she awkwardly sat on the towel waiting for Sho to bring the watermelon over as the blush wouldn’t leave her face.
“What if I can’t do it.” 0_0
Leo patted her head in an attempt to comfort her as he went to set up the camera.
“It’ll be fine, me and Sho are doing it too, so even if you fail we’ll still look amazing.”
She gently slapped him on the back of his leg causing the cat like man to giggle as Sho approached.
Sho laid a watermelon on each towel as they all sat down to prepare the destruction. Sho started first, taking the sly way out as he smacked it hard with the back of his heel, the watermelon exploding everywhere from the sheer force.
Leo frowned at him as Sho grinned over at him.
“You didn’t say how we could do it.”
Leo rolled his eyes as he followed Sho’s pursuit, smashing his fist down hard onto the watermelon as it split in half.
Xena went to do the same, Sho and Leo looking at her wide eyed as she did, both grabbing her hands as their eyes met already agreeing on what needs to happen.
“Xe-“
Sho started.
“You can’t do it like that-“
Leo continued.
“Your thighs are where this melon should be crushed.”
Sho ended.
The weird hive mind moment ending as they looked hopefully up at Xena, who just sighed as she placed the watermelon between her thighs.
They stood up excitedly as they ensured the camera was focused on her as she easily exploded the watermelon with pure thigh power.
She thought it would’ve taken long as she locked her legs around it, putting all her strength into crushing the watermelon to pieces.
^~^
They watched in wonderment as Xena started eating the watermelon, happily humming to herself as she tried to wipe the juice off of herself.
When the video came out, it seemed as though the majority of Leo’s followers were now pure Xena’s fans.
Comments on how they need to wife up Xena before Leo can spurned his ego and pride to heighten as Xena fed Leo a bit of the fruit as he wrapped his arms around her, Sho taking some to make them some salad and wraps as he left the couple to their devices.
“XeXe…”
He trailed a finger over her sticky leg.
“Do you want some help cleaning up?”
Leo’s sly smile made Xena giggle as he couldn’t be more obvious with his intentions as she turned around and wrapped her arms around him, pressing a kiss to his lips.
“Sure.” ^•^
———————————————————
4. (Established)
The TikTok starts with the three of them in an arcade, one of those punching machines came into view as Xena stood next to it, wearing a short black dress and a long leather black trench coat with knee high boots.
They were all laughing and chatting as Xena prepared to throw a punch, she finally did so slamming it back with all her strength as she got the highest score.
The scene then cuts to Sho and Leo cleaning the dishes and making food for Xena as classical music played in the background.
Leosimp4l5fe: the pipeline of shipping Leo x Xena to Leo x Xena x Sho
Sharkfacts: why is Leo so relatable I too would fold for a bad b who could kill me 🙏🏻
Matildashrinks: PLEASE XENA JUST ONE CHANCE
Blondebaker: Xena having two malewives and one of them not being me is a fucking diabolical travesty.
———————————————————
5. (Established)
“XeXe, let’s make a bet~”
Leo sauntered over to where Xena and Alan were finishing up their sparring session, they both sighed as Leo kicked the pits door open and leaned against the grated wall.
“What’s the bet?”
She dodged one of Alan’s kicks before launching her own aiming to stamp down on the back of his leg as he tried to move away.
“If you can bench press Alan, me and Sho will do whatever you want~ if you can’t you have to do whatever I want 🫶🏼”
Both her and Alan paused as they took in the young man before them, who purposefully avoided them today in order to stop himself getting pulled into a sparring session with the both of them. Sho was at the truck today and probably didn’t know he’s been added into the proposition.
“What does Alan get out of this?”•_•
Leo hummed thoughtfully as he racked his eyes over Alan.
“The joy of being bench pressed by a pretty girl? Probably the most ac-“
Xena rolled her eyes as she approached him pressing a sweaty hand over his mouth.
“Don’t be mean.”
Leo grinned as he kiss the palm of her hand, licking it slightly as his eyes sparkled mischievously at her. She pulled her hand away before he could make a move as he sighed dramatically, leaning back as he thought for a second.
“Sho will make you anything you want for the next week, anytime~anywhere, even that gross shit you drink~”
His smile was cold as Alan stared down at him unimpressed.
“Fine, I’ll also stop interrupting your training sessions for a week.”
Which annoyed Leo to no end when Alan actually smiled at that proposition.
“Both Sho and the no interruptions.”
Leo gritted his teeth with a maniacal smile slapped onto his face.
“Yep got it, XeXe?”
Xena sighed nodding as she got into position, they had the set up anyway for when they were bench pressing before. Alan awkwardly made himself into a bridge over Xena as she tried to position her hands, Leo’s eyes narrowing in annoyance as a slight blush covered Alan’s face.
“Should I start?”
She asked awkwardly as Leo threw his phone up, ready to film either a hot catastrophe or an extremely hot moment…either way Leo wins. He nodded at her as she tapped at Alan’s chest as he slowly pulled himself up into a planking position. The only thing holding him up was Xena as she begun to bench press him.
“How…many?”
She said through strained breaths as Alan’s face was a deep red, he wasn’t sure she could actually do it and now…
“10.”
She was halfway through as Leo watched mesmerised, her arm muscles rippling as she lifted Alan up into the air. Leo gulped as sweat dripped down her, something he’d usually hate if it didn’t look so tantalising on her.
Xena was thanking the stars that Yuri injected her with that weird cure-that wasn’t a cure, instead it increased her strength and durability, making her more like a ghoul.
She finished as Alan bridged himself above her again, feet planted on the floor as he threw himself back up into a standing position.
Xena slowly got up as she cockily smirked at Leo, leading him to swiftly pull her up and drag her away, Alan standing there perplexed as he started adding the new bench press method to their next exercise routine.
Xena giggled as Leo hurriedly dragged her away, calling out an apology to Alan as Leo lead the way…
———————————————————
6.Leo’s turn (established)
Xena had been playing detective the past couple of weeks, uncovering cheating scandals, murder plots and intricate tales of woe.
The most problematic was unsurprisingly the cheating scandals, most importantly Matsu’s cheating scandals. A mortkranken student who has seemed to have dated half the student body and has seemed to have cheated on them with the other half of the student body.
Matsu’s been broken up with for the last time, finally losing it as an exasperated Xena just sighs at the idiots wrath as he screamed a plethora of insults at her, following her as she made her way to vagastrom, demanding she fix the mess he caused.
“Actually fuck off Matsu, I don’t know what you want me to do? Stop fucking cheating on people?”•_•
She looked at him like he was stupid, which he was. Xena had to reject requests about Matsu now, telling the clients to look at the previous requests about him…which leads to then breaking up with him as they realise he is an actual scumbag.
“ITS NOT MY FAULT THAT PEOPLE LIKE ME? Maybe people should stop flirting with me Xena?! Ever thought of that?!”
He demanded forcing his way in front of her causing Xena to stop as she looked at him in boredom.
“Reject the person that’s flirting with you? I don’t know why I have to explain that?”
She tried to walk around him, yet Matsu had other plans as he followed her movements. She was tired, hungry and she was now late meeting Leo , who no doubt will be furious with her about it.
“Ohhh~is it that easy aye? What if you flirted with me? Would you like me to reject you…?”
Xena couldn’t help the face of disgust that overwhelmed her as she stepped away from him.
“I would prefer it if you stayed away from me all together.” •_•
She noticed his hands behind his back, fiddling with something repeatedly as she eyed him suspiciously, eyes darting from his face to the hidden object behind him, she was trying to read him but he seemed too manic to guess what he’d do.
He was about to swing for her, metallic glinting in the setting sun as the knife came swooping towards her, when all of a sudden Matsu flew through the air, Xena’s jaw dropped as she watched him go, trying to figure out what sent him across the floor when she locked eyes with a furious Leo.
She’d seen him fight before…she just never expected him to fight for her.
She rushed over to him as dangerous eyes locked onto Matsu, she gently tugged him to face her as she tenderly cupped his face, eyes filled with worry and adoration as she was swooning at the sight of Leo taking down someone for her…especially someone as annoying as Matsu.
His eyes were wide as he gripped harshly at her wrist, a bruising hold as she felt someone hot and warm drip down her wrist.
He was bleeding…
He had been listening, waiting for Xena to come and help him spy on Alan and Thoma when he happened to overhear the confrontation, hearing the unsheathing of a blade as he sprinted over to beat the shit out of whoever was going to touch his girlfriend amplifier.
Xena with a soft and firm manner, unlatched his hand from her wrist, checking over the injury, it was barely a flesh wound and would easily heal but that didn’t stop Xena from stressing and doting over the man before her.
Matsu was knocked unconscious, yet even if he was conscious they wouldn’t particularly care.
She gently pressed a kiss against the back of his hand, brown eyes locking on bright yellow ones as she fumbled with the other hand to grab a handkerchief, wrapping it around his wound as she gave it one more kiss.
“Mon Cher, you’re injured.”
She mumbled it out not even realising the nickname she let slip as she concentrated on tying the hanker-chief.
The dots connected quicker than Xena would’ve liked as Leo realised where that nickname came from, the slight memory of Xena mentioning that her dad was French springing into his brain…
It was the nickname her dad used to call her mother…
———————————————————
~~~~<BONUS
Xena was sat in Leo’s lap, straddling him as she faced him, concentrating hard on the intricate black eyeliner she was applying onto Leo, who was currently taking a nap as she had her way with making him over.
He had deep red eyeshadow on and dark red lipstick, it was her prize for bench pressing Alan, her wish was to give Leo and Sho a gothic makeover. She had slicked back Leo’s hair, given him one of her lace chokers with a bold silver bat with crosses hanging off of it, attached with little black chains. She had the perfect outfit planned, black leather trousers with multiple chains hanging off of them, a black halter top with long black Lacey gloves and an oversized black trench coat with knee high platform boots.
She was so excited to dress him up, she even allowed him to document the whole thing, he was going to make it into a TikTok series, she gives him and Sho a makeover and they give her one. She added a beauty mark and some more eyeliner, she wanted a sixties sort of vibe with a mixture of traditional goth makeup.
With Sho she went more romantic with it, giving him a long sleeve black lace top with a tight dark purple waistcoat and, she had given him a Victorian esque velvet purple coat and loose black trousers and knee high boots. She gave him a more basic makeup look, a light shimmery purple eyeshadow and big winged eyeliner. She had given him a plain black bandanna and tied his hair into a tight updo.
Thank god for Ed lending her some more clothes, she did have some already and had ordered a bunch, but the coats were something that couldn’t be found or replicated.
She gently woke up Leo as his eyes fluttered opened; she handed him the clothes to change into.
She had gotten herself ready before, going for a blend of the two looks, a long black Lacey Victorian esque skirt with a netted white button up and a black corset, So far she hasn’t had a chance to wear these sort of clothes, but she did love getting to go fully out with it. She had black eyeshadow with red eyeliner and red lipstick, she had her favourite big black platforms with laces that had little skulls on the ends.
Leo had gotten changed and the three had a mini photo shoot, he spammed the pictures on Instagram as he started editing the videos of each one of them.
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